#Still would never read a Dazai fic for the death of me don't get me wrong

[kyouka-supremacy]

I saw your reply to that anon and had a small question because you said your favorite Dazai ship is Fyozai but I think I remember a while back you said Odazai was your favorite? Maybe I'm remembering wrong lol, or did something happen to change your fave to Fyozai?

Hope this question doesn't disturb you, have a good day/evening!

Chapter 105.5 happened!!!

[chuuyaspinkmotorcycle]

Fanfic Writer Interview

Thank you to @ohhcinnybuns for the tag <33

How many works do you have on AO3?

Eleven, as of now! There's quite a few I need to update though, haha. I've got more fics in the works, as well as updates for those already published!

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

I Am You and You Are Me (23,152 words), ongoing, T - a crossover, what-if story about the regular bsd world and the Beast world colliding.

2. What's Wrong, Love? (3,946 words), oneshot, T - Dazai knew Chuuya, in and out. The redhead would never cry, always a strong soldier. Yet here he was, shedding tears in Dazai's lap. Something was seriously wrong.

3. Please, Save Me (4,784 words), oneshot, M - Dazai Osamu stood on the train tracks, ready for the embrace of death. And as that moment comes, he truly believed he was going to die. Except... he doesn't?

4. Sleepy Times (2,536 words), oneshot, G - Dazai, the ever-good partner, knows all of Chuuya's tells. And when Chuuya seems like a walking corpse on their drive to a safe house, he's quick to realize the problem. He's got a beyond sleep-deprived slug on his bandaged hands.

5. Burning Bright! (12,449 words), ongoing, T - Chuuya always worked hard in his young life, balancing a part-time job with full-time college. He makes it work. But when his favorite actor (and crush) Dazai Osamu walks into his boba shop to get away from fans? It turns Chuuya's world upside down.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try! I know I've got a few I still need to respond to, but I promise I read them and I appreciate them so much!! I just tend to forget to respond after reading the email notification since Ao3 doesn't have any other notifications after that :')

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ohhh it's two and they're not published yet haha. But they had me tearing up writing/thinking about it. As for published, it's Four Seasons (Warning: MCD) or To Be Human (more angsty hurt/comfort).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

So I have a bad habit of jumping between projects A Lot soooo I haven't actually written many endings, just mapped them out. For published, though, I'd say The Feels or Sleepy Times.

Do you write crossovers?

Apart from IAYAYAM's Beast x Canon world crossover, no. I love seeing art or fics that set the bsd characters into other worlds, but I'm not creative enough for that lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? I've received spam but nothing like hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In my head~ but I actually will be attempting to start writing it soon! I created a 18+ acc over on twt to explore it as well. When it comes to smut, though, I adoreeeee when it's tender or a first time.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah :') there was a website back in Julyish this year (2024) that stole a ton of works from Ao3 and put it on its own. Last I knew, the site was taken down, though!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep, into Russian! The link is under What's Wrong, Love? !

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. A friend and I have created threads off our texts using both our ideas, but never actually co-wrote them.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

SOUKOKU. I've been here for three years already and I fear there is no escape.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've got a few that are just dumb little ideas, like one is labeled Port Mafia Family Adventures and is supposed to be oneshots in a series of crack shenanigans in the pm, especially when skk were there together. Now that I think about it, it'll prolly get turned into a thread or two on here and twt hehe.

What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhh not fully sure. Lily said I captured teen!Dazai very well in a wip the other day so there's that? Skfdkjsjfs

What are your writing weaknesses?

Staying focused/on track... it shows in my writing imo. I'm also not very good at dialogue and I think I can still get better at descriptions and characterizations.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

YES. always yes. I want it as accurate as possible, even if people don't know how to read it. It makes it so much more real, especially if, say, the main character doesn't know the language and someone (the villain, for instance) is telling them something in that unknown language. Makes it feel like you're in that character's place not knowing what's going on.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Hmm if it was gonna be anything, it'd be from either fe3h (sylvix + yuri), zelda (zelink), or hq (kenhina) but my mini hyperfixations on those never last long enough for me to write anything </3

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooh. That's hard. I honestly love all of them? Like there's none I regret writing, they're proof that I can focus on something and produce it well enough to publish. I also really like all the concepts I've published so far, as well as most of the ones in my wips <33

Tag Time! @hibiscesque @calmlb @altaiiriss @bloodsherry

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

when i tell you i am frothing at the mouth reading through your metas. oh my god. obsessed with everything you have to say. we seem to have a few of similar opinions and theories regarding dazai and i love it. he’s my absolute favorite character in the series and second favorite character out of fiction overall and i just LOVE what you have to say about him so much!! your theory on him being the book’s seal? BRILLIANT oh my god so interesting. i’ve never had any real reason for it nor specific idea of why they’re wealthy, but just today i was talking to a friend about how i’ve always kind of had a feeling that he grew up wealthy, and so when i saw the one of him being the son of mafia benefactors it caught my eye so fast. i just have this image in mind?? as him as a young child, right after the war ended — maybe he’s 11 or 12? — sitting silently in the back of a full classroom, maybe at a private school (his parents are neglectful, always having had preferred to send him away rather than raise him), observing all of his classmates with an apathetic expression on his face. he doesn’t fit in with them; he never has. always excluded, and most of the time, it’s of his own accord. he doesn’t feel like them, doesn’t understand why they are just so… different from him. he often is punished by his parents for it, the purposeful seclusion and all the things that come along with it, because despite the fact that they neglect their other duties as parents, they never forget to punish him. omg i’m getting so carried away describing this i’m rambling again LOL sorry!!!! -from, frog!

Hello Frog! :)

Sorry this took me so long to reply! I'm really glad you're enjoying my analyses, and that you shared your thoughts with me!

Dazai is a really fascinating character. For all that we follow him in the story closely and get to see what he was like and how he changed at different ages, he's very much still a mystery. It makes it really fun to theorize.

The "he had a wealthy family who were probably associated with the Mafia" comes from three places:

He's stated to not be an orphan in Fifteen, or connected to Mori in any way before their agreement. But he had to be someone, or some random 14 year old wouldn't make any sense as a key witness whose word would be believed by the Mafia.

He clearly knew the Old Boss and vice versa, but he's apparently never seen death up close before, nor was he a part of the Mafia. That doesn't make it seem like he's the Old Boss' son or grandson or anything. Maybe he was a nephew, for Hamlet reasons. (That actually might work, considering irl Dazai wrote his own spin on Hamlet... food for thought!)

Oba Yozo's backstory in No Longer Human, as an alienated young boy who couldn't seem to feel or understand the importance of the things his wealthy family placed importance on, and so disguised his true feelings and fear of being "found out" by clowning to make everybody laugh. (Overly simplified, but I don't want to get too into it in case you haven't read it. The author also came from a wealthy family, so I feel pretty confident about this take on his backstory!)

If you enjoy Dazai backstory theorizing, @daz4i has some good headcanons. You've already read mine, but I've since written the first chapter of a fic called Clear Eye on ao3, which does kind of go into my own interpretation of it. There's also lots of other theories out there that are worth a look!

And of course, maybe you have written something yourself in this span of time... (if you have, please let me know!)

[fivekrystalpetals]

Oh, I agree to all of this! ig I was only thinking about Fyodor's ability and Yosano's history when I wrote that abilities do more harm than good,, but yeah, in case of Atsushi and Kyouka, their abilities are sort of like their protectors now (again, there was also a time when they had to suffer a lot because of their abilities, Atsushi at his headmaster's and Shibusawa's hands and Kyouka's case was more of a misunderstanding of what Demon Snow actually was yet she too suffered in the PM because of her.)

(I digress here, but I really wanna know about the origin of abilities in BSD. Will we ever get it or it's something that's Just There Don't Ask Questions Something tells me the origin of Abilties might be from the Book itself. So, Fyodor wanting the Book might not be for actually writing in it for a world without abilities or killing off all ability users, and probably for destroying the Page where the world of abilities started idk,, but all of this is just my imagination; we still know nothing solid about Fyodor or the Book for that matter.)

And oh, yes, Fyodor and Dazai are so similar to each other that it's just a stalemate at this point, be it in their ideas or philosophies or the Prison Death Games going on. I can't see either of them getting an upper hand until an outside force steps in. You know, after reading your theory about Fyodor and Sigma and their parallels to Raskolnikov and Sonia, I was so thoroughly convinced that the turning point for Fyodor was gonna be Sigma, and that's the reason Dazai chose him (because he is Fyodor's weakness to put it simply hehe),,, but now it seems Dazai only wanted to save Sigma from Fyodor and Nikolai, nothing more and I am like :((( *heartbroken* lol (although Fyodor and Dazai are lying bastards so it may be that Dazai is still hiding his real reason for separating Sigma from the other two. Or, it's just me still holding out some hope that Sigma is going to be important in Fyodor's arc in some way?)

About Dazai having a more depressing worldview than Fyodor, you mean the one chapter where they were arguing about God's will right? (I don't remember reading about this on your blog, if you don't mind linking it, I am interested in reading what you feel about that chapter?) Because, if it's that, then yes, Dazai basically said that God/Universe/Governing Force doesn't give a fuck is neutral to everything that happens in this world lol, but I do like the latter part of his lines: only those who stand up and fight can get things moving unlike themselves who can only watch from outside. And so, it has def got to be someone from the "stand up and fight" party who can save Fyodor (bc ofc he needs saving, idk why he started out on the idea of an ability-less world but what I do know is that obsession with any idea, however noble it might seem, won't end up in anything good.)

As for Yosano: "She might have never wanted all Abilities to disappear, but she could understand why someone would want that." -> exactly! And who knows while locked up in the cell, in constant state of mental breakdown and self-hatred for what had happened, she might have wanted her ability to disappear too? Whatever may be the case, she would def be able to relate to someone with the same kind of destructive thoughts and want to pass on the light of hope she got from Ranpo to them struggling with the same situation... (Well, all of this if, if, Fyodor has the kind of backstory we want assume for him. I can still dream for as long as I don't get anything that there is more to him than being a Typical Big Bad VillainTM seeking world destruction for no reason)

a sudden crack fic idea about them: you know how Fyodor is constantly sick/ complaining of getting sick and Yosano is a doctor... so, in the post-canon au, after Dazai and Fyodor join forces against a common enemy (because it has to happen someday, come on >_<), Fyodor is constantly hanging out at the ADA, more specifically in the sickbay. Nobody is suspicious of anything, except Dazai, bc "Of course, Fyodor-san is with Yosano-san, Dazai-san. You know how fragile his health is..." while Dazai is sitting here, pulling his hair out because he knows something is up with those two and "I should never have brought the rat home, gdi!" He tries to cockblock them interrupt them from time to time whereas the big Plot Twist and the actual Truth is—..... they actually did not have anything going on between them; Fyodor really was visiting Yosano for professional health checkups, nothing more. Well, after seeing all of Dazai's antics, they decide to play along for a Fake Dating Scenario and slowly find out that they have more in common than they initially thought lmaooo Dazai should have meddled less gjksgkjkg (The ara-ara vibes are great in this one agfshhlol at the least, they can be wine buddies/connoisseurs together hehehe)

My fyosano shipping ass as Fyodor makes one (1) vague reference to Yosano:

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 24

prompt: self-harm

fandoms: bnha, bsd, hq, mdzs, tgcf

bnha

I need to purge my urges (shame shame shame) by deesometimes

“Kid-“ Aizawa begins, his eyes are wide.

“It was an accident!” Izuku exclaims, louder than he intended.

better luck next time by nauticalwarrior

(explicit) (graphic depictions of violence, major character death)

As he falls, he lets himself think about it. He lets himself think that if he wakes up, if things go back again, it means that he does have a quirk. It means he really can take a swan dive off a roof and hope for better luck in his next life. It means that all along, he’s been useless and worthless because he hasn’t died yet.

He hits the ground.

And then he opens his eyes.

(vigilante!izuku AU where izuku has a quirk that rewinds time when he dies) (updates every other day most of the time!)

red threads by cassiopeia721

Izuku isn't blessed with a quirk, so it stands to reason that he wouldn't have a soulmate, either. Right?

Fate proves him wrong.

bsd

when you don't by nauticalwarrior

(mature)

You must learn to endure pain, Atsushi's headmaster tells him, over and over again, even though the man is no longer here.

Atsushi begins to inflict pain on himself, even though his ability does not allow the wounds to linger. He knows he'll be caught--it's only a matter of time, when he works for the Armed Detective Agency, but he can't stop himself. He does it anyway.

The Mind Can Be A Cryptic Place by moogah

Akutagawa's eyes are grey, until they aren't. Nothing is wrong, until it is.

Dazai doesn't feel, until he does. ...

How Dazai meets Atsushi and some of what came before.

haikyuu

run rabbit run by norio

Rule #1: Don't hurt Akaashi. Rule #2: Don't taint Akaashi. Rule #3: Don't involve Akaashi. Rule #4: Don't damage Akaashi. Rule #5 (optional): Try not to destroy yourself.

picking my head up, getting nowhere by orphan_account

(mature)

Oikawa only ever gives the bad and only ever takes the good, and he will never be able to forgive himself for it. (One-shot) Trigger warning for self-harm, depression and negativity—please read at your own risk. [Iwaoi]

won't you get up off, get up off the roof? by uaigneach

(mature)

Despite what many may say, Miya Atsumu wasn’t an idiot.

He heard the things people said about him. He knew what people thought. He’d read every single letter that had been slipped into his locker – and make no mistake, none of them had been confession letters like Osamu liked to joke about.

mdzs

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene

(explicit)

Tempo Rubato: Italian; Stolen Time; The musical practice of diverging from the unrelenting and gradual rhythm for a short period of time in a piece, allowing for solo freedom.

Lan Wangji starts high school in perfect step with the rhythm of his uncle's expectations and his duty to his family.

He doesn't quite stay that way.

tgcf

how to heal by parsnipit

When it comes to something like this, there are a few important steps:

First, Xie Lian makes sure that his husband is busy. Something like that makes it sound so terrible, but it’s not—it’s really not! It’s just that Hua Cheng can be overprotective, and if he saw this he would react poorly. Xie Lian would rather spare him that.

Second, Xie Lian puts Ruoye away. The poor thing never wants to go. He has to tie it somewhere safe and placate it with gentle touches and soothing words. Even so, it still lashes its ends and strains after him until he leaves the room. It will cling too tightly when he returns.

Third, Xie Lian goes somewhere quiet and familiar. It can be the armory, or their private baths, or even the shrine near Puqi Village. It is never their bedroom. It is never their cottage.

Fourth, Xie Lian draws his sword.

Fifthly, finally, Xie Lian takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and carves his own skin open.

so that i might love you by parsnipit

“Okay, San Lang, let’s talk,” Xie Lian says, and is proud of how steady his voice stays. “Tell me about the cuts.” “You talked to E-ming, didn’t you,” Hua Cheng says bleakly. “It only confirmed what I already suspected.” Xie Lian closes his eyes. “Can you tell me that those injuries aren’t from who I think they are?” “Dianxia is so clever.” Hua Cheng looks at him, and there is a sudden exhaustion written in the lines around his eye. “I could tell you they aren’t, but...this San Lang is tired of lying to his god.” Despite his suspicions, to hear it admitted so plainly from Hua Cheng’s own mouth feels like a fist to his heart. Xie Lian takes a deep, deep, deep breath. Calmly. Calmly and clearly. He has already done his crying. He is not going to freak out right now. He is not going to yell. He is not going to yell. He is not— “What were you thinking, Hua Cheng?!”

When E-ming is stolen and its curse activated by enemies, Xie Lian fully expects the chorus of pained howls he hears outside of Paradise Manor. What he does not expect is the multitude of raw, gaping wounds that split open along his husband’s skin.

[always-horny-for-fictional-men]

La Lune Cache Un Côté Sombre Part One

WARNING: THIS FIC HAS TRIGGERING ASPECTS. TALK OF SUICIDE, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE, MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE, AND MENTAL DISORDERS. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NOT BE COMFORTABLE WITH THESE SUBJECTS.

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Pairing: IkeVamp x OC/ Dazai x OC

Rated: Explicit for graphic themes

Type: Full Fic/Angst (fluff and some smut later on)

Word Count: 1,003 words

We start our story in modern day France with a young woman named Selene. I'll let you read the rest.........

The Mona Lisa. The most popular painting in the entire museum. Most people come here just to see this painting. Just like me.

I stood in front of the painting, thinking. It was something I had always wanted to see. Now that I've seen it, I frantically tried to come up with something else I wanted to do. There was nothing. Nothing except....

"Oof!" Someone bumped into me, a little girl. She stopped and apologized.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She spoke in almost perfect French. I smiled at the little girl.

"It's fine, I wasn't paying attention." Her family called her over to them, scolding her for leaving their side. I watched them for a moment and turned my attention back to the painting, my smile fading.

Have I finally completed my bucket list? Am I ready?

In my heart, I knew that i wasn't. But what other choice did I have? Life wasn't kind to me. No one would miss me, not even my own family. I was done. My backpack, filled with all of my earthly possessions felt like it weighed a ton. I was painfully aware of the razor blade in my pocket.

"Excuse me, mademoiselle?" I turned towards the voice. A tall man with golden hair stood not too far away from me. He held out a hand. In it was a familiar moon shaped earring.

"I believe this belongs to you." My hands flew up to my ears. One of them was indeed missing.

"Oh, I didn't even realize it was missing." Of course I didn't. I went to take it from him and put it back in when he stopped me.

"Allow me." I hesitated. I didn't know if I wanted this stranger to touch me. I didn't know if I could take it. I swallowed and nodded, brushing my hair away from my neck. He must have noticed my hesitation as he replaced my earring with minimal skin contact.

I stood stock still, desperately trying not to flinch at his light touches. He pulled away after a moment and appraised my ears.

"There we go." I bowed my head.

"Merci, monsieur." He smiled warmly.

"Of course. Now I must be going. It was lovely meeting you." He's lying, of course. I managed a small smile.

"It was nice meeting you too, monsieur." He turned and left. I stood there for a moment. What an odd interaction. No matter. It was time to-

Clunk

Looking down, I noticed that I had kicked a small object across the floor. I hurried over to it. It was an old pocket watch. Picking it up, I noticed a large scuff on the cover. This must belong to that gentleman. I should return this to him.

Putting the pocket watch in the pocket of my jacket, I hurried off into the direction that the man had went in. It was a hallway with no art on the walls, no benches, or any other people. At the end of the hallway was a tall, intricately carved wooden door.

He must have gone through this door, where else could he have gone? I pulled the door open, poking my head through. Beyond the door was a narrow hallway lined with artifacts. I didn't see him in the hallway. I paused, looking over my shoulder into the museum.

I felt like if I went through this door, I would never return. It was a looming, ominous feeling. If that's true, would I want to return anyway? Isn't that the point?

I became aware of the razor blade in my pocket once more. Shaking my head, I stepped into the dark hallway. I started walking....

And walking.....

There are so many clocks. What is this place? I had a feeling I wasn't in the Louvre anymore. The hallway was long, too long, and so quiet that every clock tick was distinctly audible. My chest seized, the dark was starting to get to me. I wanted out. I wanted that more than anything at that moment.

Next thing I knew, I was standing in a strange hallway. There were doors on one side and windows on the other. I immediately thought that this was some sort of mansion. Confused, I turned around. Before me was a door, the exact copy of the door I walked through before.

I pulled on the handle, not really expecting it to open. I was stuck here. Wherever 'here ' was. I leaned against the door and slid to the ground, pulling my legs up to my chest and burying my face in my arms.

I'm scared. The situation coupled with everything going on in my mind made me feel like I was a tiny boat in a huge ocean. And I. Wanted. Out.

I heard footsteps near me and I brought my knees closer to me. The footsteps stopped near me and I heard a voice.

"Are you ok?" I glanced up and saw a man with grey hair and eyes crouched down next to me. I shook my head. His eyes were tender.

"Do you think you can get up?" I shrugged. I knew I could if I really tried but I also felt like I would fall immediately if I did. The man reached for me and helped me to my feet.

"Come, the master of the house would like to speak to you." I nodded, absently and allowed the man to lead me deeper into the mansion.

Unbeknownst to the two of them, another was listening in. Sharp, tawny eyes watched the pair walk away from the door. He had seen the girl emerge from the door and everything that happened after. He was going to go over to her if Sebastian hadn't shown up.

The girl reminded him of himself. She was just like him in the weeks before his own death. That was concerning to him. He would have to keep an eye on her.

[mccnglade]

many reasons; dazai osamu

DAZAI OSAMU X READER

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part...

WORD COUNT: 1.8K words

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, abuse (not reader's), angst (if you squint), fluffy ending. MILD SPOILERS FOR BUNGO STRAY DOGS SEASON 3

(e/c) - eye color

A/N: sorry if the formatting is a bit wonky!! i'm posting this on mobile because tumblr doesn't work on my stupid, old laptop.

this fic is really super, self-indulgent because dazai is my favorite in bsd and i love when situations like the one in this one shot happen in anime, so i combined the two things and wrote this. this was actually going be a scene in a dazai fic i'm thinking of posting on my wattpad, but i decided to scrap it and write it as a oneshot. i hope you all enjoy reading this!!

Also shoutout to @neonghxst who wanted me to finish this one shot hehe. thanks to her, i got the inspiration to actually write this and finish it.

"Are you sure we should have left him like that?"

You fiddled with the ends of your coat sleeves. Upon hearing about Atsushi's new case and the end result, you immediately wanted to give the boy a hug and never let him go. He had been through so much these past few weeks and hearing about the death of that abusive headmaster of his old orphanage must have been incredibly painful.

But Dazai had promptly pulled you away, after saying exactly what needed to be said. (He always knew what to say in any kind of situation and that made you feel jealous a lot of times)

"Things like that are meant to be dealt with alone. Atsushi-kun will manage," Dazai answered with a cool tone. "You worry too much, (Y/N)-chan."

He tried to ruffle your hair but you slapped his hand away with a huff.

"I have every right to worry, you know," You crossed your arms, angrily staring at the ground. You and Dazai had already left the port area and now were back in the city, walking next to each other. "He and Kyouka just...I just wanna give them both a hug and adopt them as family."

This time, Dazai successfully managed to ruffle your hair."You are very funny, (Y/N)-chan."

"I'm not being funny! I'll actually adopt them, just you wait and see."

"As amusing as that would be, I'm gonna stop you there."

"Why?"

"Well, it's nighttime now. And we are almost near the river. The moon's pretty bright today. Which means one thing and one thing only."

"What, Dazai?"

"It's the perfect time for a double suicide!" 

Dazai suddenly grabbed you by the waist and spun you around. You felt your face grow warmer as he kept his hands on your waist, meanwhile going on about the benefits of a double suicide.

"D-dazai! Let go!" You physically tried to struggle out of his grip, knowing that your Ability was useless in this situation. "Just let go, dumbass!"

"Nope, not gonna." 

Dazai let go of your waist, but then immediately grabbed your hand. But you managed to pull it away. He stuck his tongue out at you. "You are no fun, (Y/N)-chan."

You glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you no, you bandage squandering idiot?!"

"Ahh!! You sound so much like Kunikida-kun! Why didn't you tell me you were so great at impersonating others?"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?" You went to shove his shoulder but he dodged it,  jumping aside with his annoying (endearing) laugh. You tried to hit him again, but he dodged this time too and started running.

"Oi, Dazai! Come back here, you idiot!"

You ran too, trying to catch up to him so that you could, at least, flick his forehead before slapping him. Why was he so annoying, you always wondered. 

'Isn't this why you like him?' Your heart whispered to you.

'Shut up,' You told it.

You kept on running. Even as you did, the sun had almost set, taking its red and orange hues and replacing it with the dark, navy blue of the night sky. The running brought you to the river bank, a spot where both you and Kunikida had to drag Dazai out of. For some reason, he declared this spot and drowning as his top favorite for a double suicide.

It was incredibly annoying, but at the same time, also incredibly saddening and you wished you knew more about why he was like this.

Finally, you caught up with him. 

In hindsight, you should have realised that running after Dazai was not a good decision on your part. 

Both of you stumbled down the river bank, holding onto each other because there was nothing else to grab onto. The slant river bank ended and they were on flat ground again.

But...but, both of you were in a rather compromising position. 

Usually, you were a pretty confident and self-assured person. But when it came to situations like these (or any romantic situations)…well, you were still pretty inexperienced. So inexperienced actually that you hadn't kissed anyone in a long while, almost two years to be exact. Relationships had always seemed like a waste of time to you, but being in such close proximity of the man you currently yearned for was doing wonders for your heart. (In a good way and a bad away)

Dazai's arms were on your shoulders, pinning you to the ground. He loomed over you, his brown eyes staring right into your (e/c) ones. 

You swore you could detect something there before it was hidden behind his mask again. 

No longer were you able to keep the warmth away from your face. You knew you probably resembled a tomato right now. You wanted to get out of this position quickly, but deep down, your mind and your heart both resisted. And you felt like agreeing with them this time. You wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

So you decided to speak.

And immediately regret it.

"Your eyes are pretty," The combined forces of your heart and mind make you say something stupidly embarrassing and you immediately want to cover your face. But you can't. So you continue.

Even the darkness of night couldn't keep the redness of your cheeks hidden. 

"I mean, they're not just an ugly brown color. They have this amber-like quality to them. And everytime light hits them, they almost shine and it makes them more beautiful than I ever thought. Like seriously, you have really beautiful eyes. Personally, your eyes are your best feature and they're one of the many reasons I fell for you."

(You wanna crush your own stupid heart for that last bit.)

"Oh?" That was all Dazai said, that stupidly endearing smirk on his face. "Many reasons? What are they again?"

"Um, uh," You hesitated, turning your head to the side. This was more embarrassing than any other situation you had ever been in. There was nowhere else to go and while you could have kicked Dazai away with ease, truth be told you really didn't want to do that. How many chances like this would you ever get? "I don't even know when I started liking you. And maybe it's a stupid thing because nothing is ever going to come out of it, but yeah. I have feelings for you, Dazai Osamu. Truth be told, I can sort of understand why you ask women to commit a double suicide with you. You want someone to be by your side, right? You don't want to be lonely when you die. I guess I can understand that, though I wish I could show you the joy in living. But I don't think I'll ever be able to change your mind."

You laughed nervously, looking anywhere but at Dazai's face, where his smirk had been replaced by a more serious look. "I went on a totally different tangent there, didn't I? You can forget that last bit but to sum up everything, I have feelings for you. I don't expect you to return them anyways so...yeah."

Now, you looked at Dazai. His expression was unreadable. You couldn't understand what emotions were written on his face. You didn't even know what he would do next. Would he reciprocate your feelings? Would he reject them? What would he do? You wanted answers and you weren't getting them.

Then again, it was partly your fault also. You suddenly sprung these feelings on him. You shouldn't expect him to answer quickly. 

(Secretly, you also thought that Dazai wasn't the type of person who'd ever truly  love someone. It was just your stupid luck he was the person you fell for.)

Unexpectedly, Dazai suddenly moved off you, giving you the opportunity to finally sit up and contemplate your next moves.

'Should I just run away?' You thought, thinking about the pain of rejection. You'd deal with it. Somehow. 'It's the coward's way out. But what more can I do?'

"If you're thinking of running away, don't," Dazai suddenly said, meeting your eyes with a stare so intense that you swore he could read every single thought in your mind. 

"That was not what I was thinking," You clearly lied, crossing your arms. 

"You know, I can tell that you're lying, my Belladonna," Dazai put his hand on your cheek, his slender fingers brushing away the stray strands of hair on your face. "You are not a very good liar."

"D — wh-what?" You froze up completely. Because as much as you would like to deny, even an action like this left you wanting more. His hands were inexplicably warm and strangely soft. You couldn't even think about running away now. Dazai put his other hand behind your back, pulling you close to him. Close enough that your noses were almost touching and you could see the little flecks of amber in his pretty brown eyes. 

"D-do you also h-have feelings f-for me?"

What the hell was wrong with your voice? You wanted to ask your question again, but your words died in your throat. 

Instead, your heart chose to speak. You tilted your head slightly, barely brushing your lips against his. Even this small action sent volts of electricity coursing through your body. But then, your courage fizzled out and you tried to move back. 

Key word; tried. 

Dazai put his hand at the back of your head and pulled you closer, finally,  freaking finally, kissing you. 

You wished you could describe what you were feeling, but you really couldn't. Your mind was completely shut down and all you could really think was, that you were floating. And since it was your one of the few kisses you had in your life, you didn't know what to do. So you kept on pressing your mouth against Dazai's, trying to have more; trying to feel more of him. 

It was strange, it felt so strange. But kissing Dazai felt incredibly…amazing. Yeah, amazing. Just him and you and nothing else. You felt like you could touch the stars now and you didn't want it to end. You wanted to keep on doing this forever, or as long as both of you could. 

But then, Dazai suddenly ended the kiss, pulling back with a lazy grin.

You stared at him, breathing heavily. And then, you let your head fall onto his shoulder, grabbing onto to the front of his cream-colored trench coat. 

"Does that answer your question, (Y/N)-chan?" He asked with a sing-song voice, suddenly hugging you. 

"So you do like me?" Your voice was muffled by his coat, but you knew he heard you clearly. 

His lips were pressed onto your neck, moving with his answer. You understood it immediately. Releasing his coat from your hands, you hugged him back.  

You knew this moment wouldn't last very long, but you would revel in it for now. 

It was going to be the only thing on your mind for a very long time.

a/n: i hope this was a fun read! with this quarantine, i've been thinking of attempting to write more character x readers because they are good practice for writing a multi-chapter fic. so you might see more bsd, haikyuu and bnha content on here. I might also post about DC so let's see.

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