#Still working on Blitzen

[jesterjunkie]

𝑀𝒶𝑔𝓃𝓊𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝑜𝒹𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒜𝓈𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒫𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓈

[adnauseum11]

Check Point (John Price x Reader)

John makes dinner and you discuss decorating for the holiday.

1.1k words

CW: none - this is pure fluff. (Or is it?)

Feedback welcome!

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U. series, the Masterlist is also pinned to my blog.

Masterlist

John is like the cat that got the cream the entire next day. He’s never out of reach, not exactly hovering, but staying within arms-length. He eventually talks you into watching football with him, which you do, curled around each other for a few hours. He’s only vaguely sorry about the bruises on your thighs, but mindful of them when jostling with you for position on the couch so you can’t get too annoyed with him. 

He offers to cook dinner, so you occupy yourself by dragging your box of Christmas decorations out. It’s not big, and half of the box are vintage glass ornaments you are too scared to actually hang on a tree, the glass thin and fragile and the ancient wire hangers rusty. You look up at John after carefully setting the vintage ornaments aside, trying to gauge how receptive he would be to going shopping this close to the holidays. His eyes raise off his task to meet yours, like he can feel the weight of your gaze. 

“I don’t have any of the hardware needed to get a tree darling, I think that may have to be a task for next year.” 

John speaks before you can say anything. You press your lips together to keep from smiling at his allusion to next year, something warming in your chest at his easy projection into the future.

“That’s alright, I was actually wondering if you would consider coming shopping with me tomorrow? I shouldn’t be spending more money right now but all my decorations are old and you have approximately…?”  

You hold up your hand to John, indicating he should fill in the blank you have left at the end of your sentence. He understands without having to be prompted. 

“None.”

“Right. Thank you.”

John sighs, going back to his task before replying.

“On a scale of one to ten, how necessary is this shopping? Worth dealing with the crowds?” 

You hum, thinking for a moment while you watch him work. You forget, sometimes, that John is a veteran with trauma. He’s so self-assured and confident that things like busy crowds and loud venues half the time don’t occur to you as potential triggers, just a normal course of life. A part of you knows that the landscape is different for John, last night being a prime example. 

“No, you know what, don’t worry about it. I can go on my own.” 

You cut him some slack, not wanting to put him through unnecessary hardship. That has him looking up at you again though, unexpectedly. He looks like he’s going to say something and then presses his lips together, redirecting himself to rolling a chicken breast around ham and cheese.

You don’t realize he’s still stewing on it until you’re setting up little reindeer figurines made of ceramics along the edge of the island where he’s working. 

“Do I get a say in any of this decorating?”

You look up at him, surprised. His face is serious, tracking your placement of the ceramic deer. 

“How do the deer offend, my lord?” 

You joke, unsure if John’s annoyed with the decorating itself or your choices. He shoots you a look that would probably have anyone else quailing. You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed with his grump and set the deer down in place firmly instead. 

“Don’t give me that look, what’s wrong with Vixen and Blitzen?” 

“Nothing.” He backpedals, but you aren’t having it.

“You wanted a say, let’s hear it then.” 

You gesture with your hand, encouraging him to come out with it. He straightens and looks at you steadily before surprising you again. 

“Why did you uninvite me?”

“Uninvite you? From what? Shopping?” 

You’re grasping at straws, trying to piece together what’s annoyed him about being let off from that particular task.

“Yeah. You asked if I wanted to go and then told me to forget it immediately. Is this because I don’t condone all that glitter?”

You can’t help the swell of affection that squeezes your heart, looking at him frowning down at you. His hands are held aloft, covered in chicken juices but you step into his side and wrap your arms around his waist tightly anyways. The snowman figurine with generous glitter had been a hard no from the former Captain when you had unpacked it. 

“No, it’s because I didn’t think it was fair to ask you to deal with the crowds. Your lack of festive spirit is a separate issue.”

“I can be festive.” He huffs, deflating slightly in your arms. 

“Say it louder so my snowman can hear you.”

He shoots you a look and you smile, patting his ribs before letting him loose again. 

“You can come if you really need to have a say, John. I just didn’t think it was worth putting you through all the hustle and bustle for just a wreath and some knick-knacks.”

“I know you; you say just a wreath and knick-knacks but you’ll be back here with more bags than you can carry if you’re unsupervised.”

That’s a fair point but you’ll be damned before you let John know that you agree. 

“Oh, well if I need saving from myself, I suppose you’re the man for the job.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, casually placing another deer in the line-up. He shakes his head, wisely, focusing back on his work, placing the chicken on a baking tray.

“Trying to save the flat’s limited storage space, love.” 

“Hmm…I suppose I can believe that.” 

You agree easily, looking at him out of the corner of your eye. He smiles to himself, carrying on to wash his hands at the sink. You watch him, the strong lines of his back flexing under his old t-shirt as he moves. You can’t help picturing the way his back would look as he moves inside you and feel your belly swoop and face heat at the image it conjures in your mind. He turns to dry his hands and catches you staring, face flushed. He raises his eyebrows at you and tucks his chin, a look you know well as an unspoken question. The slow smile that curls across your face is anything but innocent. 

“How long is the timer set for?”

You can’t help asking, the thrill of teasing John perennial in your life, now with richer rewards for your trouble. He’s able to read your thoughts just as easily as you read him apparently because his answering grin is savage. 

“Long enough.” 

Your feet are moving before he’s finished speaking. 

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

Ao3

[caius-hhhhhh]

As promised, I’ve gone and stuck my shelved but still finished chapter of a Blitzstone fic on AO3 because… that’s literally what it’s for. It’s the origin story of how Hearthstone fell to Nidavellir and how Blitzen learned ASL. 5,349 words, originally completed in late December 2023.

Blitzstone nation, my darlings, my dearests: I’m passing through but not super active in your fandom. I hope you like my contribution.

My regular followers, number one you should read Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard. But if you haven’t and want to read this anyway? I’ve included a handy summary containing pertinent information below the cut <3

Yes, the name Blitz has some overlap. They have nothing in common. This Blitzen is a dwarf. Dwarves turn to stone when they are exposed to sunlight. This process can be reversed by submerging the statues in water. Their world (one of the nine in Norse mythology) is completely underground. Dwarves are revered for their ability to craft exceptional items. Canon doesn’t expand upon this, so I’ve invented the idea that Svartalves (singular Svartalf, it means “dark elf”. Yes, this character is Black. Yes, that’s jank as hell.) are a different race of dwarves with a distinct culture from Nidavellir dwarves. “Svartalf Mart” is a canon location, but I’m not actually sure if the equivalent is supposed to be “Asian Market” or “Human Store”.

Midgard is the world of humans. Most Norse creatures can travel between the nine worlds, although such travel is not always advisable.

Elves are creatures of light. Their world, Alfheim, is made of sunlight; because Frey is the patron god of Alfheim they have safe haven in his sister Freya’s world, Folkvanger.

This is not revealed in my work: Hearthstone has been severely abused by his family. They have shamed him for being Deaf, refused to learn ASL, and made him believe that his basic wants and needs like food and shelter were transactional. There is a moment in my fic where Hearthstone is given some coffee — he has never been given that privilege before. Luckily canon goes about showing this in a really hyperbolic manner that, to me at least, avoided being triggering by being so exaggeratedly Evil. (If you’re interested in reading MCGA but this subject is difficult for you, please, DM me: I’ll provide you with more detail and context. I did not find it hard to read, but you may.)

Near the end of the fic, Blitzen references Gleipnir: this is the divine rope that binds Loki’s son Fenris Wolf, who will swallow the moon at Ragnarok. His confinement is essential to preventing the worlds’ destruction.

If I’ve done my job correctly you should be able to intuit the majority of other information from either the work itself or your likely knowledge of Tolkien. (I, actually, had to get a lecture from my close associate SpaceWall as I don’t read LOTR.) Although it’s safe to bet that if you don’t know what a word is referring to, it’s more likely a reference to fibre arts.

[domripley]

If your still doing the reindeer game could you do the Blitzen one with Yelena and Kate

Pairing: Bishova x Reader

Warnings: DP, Daddy Kink, Anal Fingering

“We can try it out and if it doesn’t work, we can just take turns fucking you and try a different time. We want to make you feel good, Detka. Not hurt you.” Yelena reassured you as Kate continued to rub your clit. They had been fucking you for only twenty minutes when Yelena got an idea. You were a little nervous, but you told them that you wouldn’t mind trying.

“Okay,” you sighed as Kate pulled her hand away. You hadn’t notice Yelena grabbing the bottle of lube from the dresser.

“We need a yes or a no, princess.” Kate added softly, and you bit your lip.

“Yes, Sir. I want to try.” You whined as Kate slapped your ass. You watched as she got off the bed, suddenly helped you off the bed after.

Kate laid back down on the bed, the toy she was wearing standing at attention. It was a much smaller toy than she normally used, but you weren’t complaining. She patted her thigh, signaling for you to come onto the bed. You climbed up, straddling her before she helped guide you onto the toy. You bit your lip as you sunk down onto the toy more. Once it was completely inside of you, Kate stayed completely still – giving you time to adjust as Yelena prepared the strapon that she was wearing.

“Daddy’s going to take you soon, are you comfy?” Kate asked, running her hand up your thigh. You nodded, thankful that Kate didn’t push you to say it out loud. A part of you was too embarrassed to say something, and Kate could tell.

Having spent hours prepping you, Yelena was still taking her time once she climbed onto the bed to join both Kate and you. You whimpered, feeling her strapon against your thigh as a lubed-up finger of hers pushed against your entrance. Deciding on keeping quiet until her finger was the second knuckle deep, Yelena focused on any noise you were going to make. 

“You’re so tight, Detka.” Yelena commented, pulling her finger out to add more lube. Bringing her finger back to your entrance – this time she pushed her finger all the way into you. Smirking to herself at the little gasp you let out. Pushing the tip of her second finger into you, stopping her movements to look at Kate for a signal. When Kate nodded, letting her know that she was okay to continue.

Sliding her second finger into your ass with ease, Yelena moved them around, causing you to wince at the feeling of her fingers stretching you out. “Color, malyshka?” she asked you, and you closed your eyes before you answered with a small ‘green’. When she pulled her fingers out and before you could protest, you felt Yelena line the tip of her strapon with your asshole.

Pushing in slowly – only stopping to give you a few minutes when the tip was fully inside of you.  Rubbing the small of your back, Yelena grabbed the bottle of lube. Squeezing some onto her hand, she lubed up to rest of the toy, jerking it the best she could with the room that she still had. “Are you ready to take all of my cock, little one?” she asked, sliding more of the toy inside of you.

“Y-Yes, Yes, Daddy. I’m ready.” You whimpered as Yelena pushed the rest of the length inside of you. You looked down to see Kate smirking up at you. She brought her hand up to your face, caressing your cheek.

“F-Feel so full, m’need more,” you begged, keeping your eyes on Kate. “Please, please.”

“Aw, what? Does our little puppy want more cocks? Not satisfied with mine and Daddy’s cock?” Kate asked, and you shook your head.

Yelena pulled you up by your hair, starting at a slow pace, she began to fuck you. You couldn’t focus on anything but how good it felt to have both of your girlfriends inside of you at the same time. Closing your eyes as you tried your best to focus on the way Yelena was fucking into you, but soon lost focus on that as Kate brought her hand down to rub at your clit. 

“Fuckfuckfuck,” you cried, your words unable to come out fast enough as Yelena didn’t slow down her movements. “Daddy, please. M’so close, wanna come for you both.” 

“Oh? I thought our cocks weren’t enough for you, detka?” Yelena questioned, trying her best to catch her breath as she kept her pace up.

“N-No, you’re both enough for m-me, p-promise,” you cried out as you came without permission. Yelena continued to fuck you and you assumed that she wasn’t too upset with you. She fucked you through your orgasm, pulling out of you when you stopped holding yourself up - laying completely on top of Kate. Kate wrapped her arms around you - rubbing the small of your back as you warmed her strapon. You didn’t want to move away from her, but soon found yourself being pulled off of Kate. Whining in protest, you tried your best to cling to Kate, but Yelena was too strong. Laying you down onto your back on the bed, Yelena got down on her knees between your legs. Leaning in to place a soft kiss on your clit, the blonde pulling away when you pushed her head away. 

“T-Too sensitive, Daddy.” you whispered as Yelena stood up.

“It’s okay, baby, you want Kate and I to clean you up?” Yelena looked over at Kate, who was now sitting up. “Kate, go get her some water.” 

As Kate got up to go get you some water, Yelena helped you to your feet. Letting you sit down on the toilet as she turned the water on. 

“C-Can Kate take a bath with me while you sit with us this time?” you shyly asked, looking away from Yelena.

Yelena gave you a soft smile and nodded, “Of course, detka.”

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 10/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE

PART TEN

                Jake knows being annoyed with his mom is unreasonable, but a part of him also just can’t help it, she’s an annoying person hell-bent on making him do something he’s been putting off. God, he can never tell her that he’s had Bradley’s phone number for over a year, she’ll never let him live it down. It’s Wednesday morning now, so he has three days, assuming she doesn’t change her mind on the timeline. Now that he’s had two proper full-night’s sleep his brain feels less like it’s been put through a grinder and sat in pickle juice for days on end. He’s also feeling like he’s adjusting back to the right time after a couple of weeks skipping through time zones and continents for the promotional tour.

                He’d spent a fair amount of time last night lying in bed mulling over the fact that Bradley has been here for over two weeks, has met both his parents and cousin Freddie and Uncle Andy. Not all of the cowhands have watched him grow up, but a few did. He’s definitely met all of the current ones more than once. His other aunts and uncle all live in surrounding farms and ranches, his parents ranch the main central point geographicalluy, which is why they had based so many of the key building developments here. So the chance of Bradley having met several more members of his extended family are alarmingly high. He has no idea what he was thinking when he suggested this ranch as a potential location.

                He goes down to the kitchen, only to find it empty and he guesses the welcome wagon is well and clearly gone, now that he’s been home a whole twenty-four hours. Then his not-tired brain kicks in and he realizes that if his mom isn’t here then she’s likely in the mess hall, talking to people. He scrambles through getting dressed and then dithers over riding Blitzen or taking a car, but seeing his dad pottering around in the family stable decides it for him and by the time he steps into the stable his dad has already got Blitzen saddled up, is looking amused and no doubt his mom has talked his ear off.

                “Good luck today,” his dad says, slapping his shoulder.

                “Did mom tell you?” Jake asks, double checking the tightness and running his hands over Blitzen, stroking her nose so she can smell him and he smiles when she snorts and licks him.

                “I meant with the first day of filming. But yes, the other thing too I guess.”

                “Right. Okay. Yeah,” he says, sucks in a breath. “Thanks dad.”

                It’s still early, not even seven, although he’s got makeup at eight, so he doesn’t have a heap of time, and now that he thinks more, he’s got work, which means his time to actually talk to Bradley before his mom’s ridiculous ultimatum isn’t actually three days, but more like a few hours of spare time, which isn’t very much all, because he doubts his free time and Bradley’s free time are going to overlap. The ride between his parents house and the main buildings isn’t even ten minutes at a walk, and he does take it at a walk, despite the urge to suddenly just ride away at speed. He’s not a teenager anymore, although no doubt his mother would argue differently.

                Of course, when he leads Blitzen into the stable Bradley is there, brushing down Buttercup and talking to her under his breath and he doesn’t know whether to feel blessed or cursed. There is going to be the ghost of Bradley Bradshaw on his family ranch for years regardless of whether anything happens between them or not. He’s not prepared to see him, hasn’t thought about what he wants to say, what he can say. Fuck.

                “You’re up early. Already gone for a ride huh?” Bradley asks, gesturing toward Blitzen with his head and Jake reaches for her and begins taking off the saddle and bridle, hanging it in one of the empty stalls.

                “Just a short one. I miss it when I’m in Hollywood,” he admits.

                “You seem pretty at home here…” Jake gives him a sharp look, wonders if he knows. It’s not exactly a secret, it’s even meant to be part of the promotional PR for the film, the whole city boy returned to his roots and finds romance while saving his family ranch. “I figure you grew up near here, everyone seems to know you.”

                Jake blinks.

                Somehow, despite being here for over two weeks, Bradley hasn’t made the connection that this is Jake’s home. He feels a little inkling of amusement and wonders if this is how his mom feels when she’s telling him that he’s smart and yet somehow a dumbass at the same time.

                “What do you think of it?”

                “The ranch?”

                “Yeah,” Jake says, because that’ll do as a nice safe starting point.

                “It’s like a well-oiled machine. I can’t begin to imagine what work needs to happen, but everyone seems to know what needs to be done and just gets on and does it. I didn’t realize we’d be filming on such a large working ranch, it’s pretty amazing to see.”

                “And the land?”

                “Well, I’m a city boy, grew up thinking nothing could beat the lights of Hollywood. But got to say the night sky out here is beautiful.”

                “Hmm,” Jake hums, because he agrees, still enjoys going out camping just to get away from as much light pollution as possible and spend the time staring up at the night sky and a part of him wants to extend an invitation to Bradley to do that, wants to do that with him.

                “I’ll let you get to breakfast, I’m heading out for my own early morning ride. I’ll see you later.”

                “Yeah, sure. Enjoy your ride.”

                He watches Bradley leave, is still watching him when Bradley turns his head to look back at him and instead of looking away Jake just raises his hand in a wave of acknowledgement.

                Baby steps.

PART ELEVEN

[kabie-whump]

❆ Whumpcember Day 9: Shaking ❆

Some good old fashioned magic extraction / human battery / magic exhaustion whump, my specialty.

⋆❅*𖢔𐂂꙳

“Thanks for helping me test this out, Cupid.”

Cupid swallows, focusing on staying perfectly still so as to not upset the tangle of wires attached to his skin in various places. “Yeah. No problem, Blitz.”

“You sure you’re down for this?” Blitz plugs something in, and the machine hums to life with a deep sound. “You look nervous.”

“I’m… a little nervous,” Cupid admits. “But this is for Santa, right? After everything he’s done for us, I want to help give back.”

It had seemed like an insane idea when Blitzen first approached Cupid with it. He believes that, although the team has been turned human, they still possess some level of winter magic. For the first few months of the summer, he’s been working on a machine that could extract and store some of that magic, making it usable for Santa and the elves.

Cupid was on board immediately. He’s been struggling recently with the notion that he no longer had a role in making Christmas happen. He and the rest of the team were so important before - the only ones who could take Santa and his toys all around the world in one night. Now, his presence in the North Pole means nothing. 

He’s tried to make himself useful still, learning first aid and medicine and becoming the unofficial physician for the team and often the elves when they get hurt in the workshop, but still Cupid longs to do more, to have a hand in the Christmas magic like he used to.

That’s what led him here, hooked up to a glowing, whirring machine in Blitzen’s workshop, which had been remodled and fire-proofed since the incident a few months ago.

“Will it hurt?”

Blitzen sits down on a stool and rolls it up next to Cupid, double checking the wires. “Uhhhh… To be honest, Cupid, I have no idea.”

Cupid huffs out a quiet laugh. “That’s comforting.”

“I’ll turn it off the second you tell me to, I promise.”

“Alright. I trust you, Blitz.”

Blitzen gives a short smile in return. “I’m gonna turn it on now, okay?”

“Go ahead. I’m ready.”

When the machine starts up, Cupid feels nothing at first. Then, the sensation sinks in, starting with a warm buzzing in his fingers and toes, creeping up his limbs. He shudders at the strangeness of it, but at least it doesn’t hurt.

“It… It’s working!” Blitzen cheers.

Cupid glances over, watching as veins of glittering pale green crawl across the wires they’re hooked up to and flow into the battery Blitzen had constructed to house the harvested winter magic. “Wow,” he whispers, a smile blooming on his face. 

“Does it hurt?”

Cupid shrugs. “It’s definitely weird. I feel all warm and tingly. But no, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Awesome. Let me know when you want to stop, okay? I want to see how much we can get.”

With a nod, Cupid leans back against the backrest of his chair, closing his eyes. He’s starting to feel tired, his breaths coming a bit faster and heavier like he just finished sprinting across the palace grounds.

He’s not sure how long he sits there, focusing on keeping his breaths even so he won’t worry Blitzen. His head feels fuzzy, and a buzzing in his ears has grown until he can’t really hear the machine humming away anymore. Everything is hot and static and pinpricks up and down his limbs, and Cupid starts to drift off into it. It’s almost like a high, magic roaring to life under Cupid’s skin as it gets pulled from him and bringing with it an intense headrush. 

“-id? Cupid! Can you hear me?!”

Cupid hums, his head lolling to the side. He opens his eyes, finding not one but three Blitzens, all staring at him with concern and panic. He tries to speak, to ask his teammate what’s wrong, but all that escapes his mouth is a faint groan.

“Shit shit shit okay I’m turning it off!”

Biltzen disapears somewhere behind Cupid and he closes his eyes again, sinking back into the warmth of the magic in his veins. 

Then, it all stops.

Cupid gasps, his body suddenly going from relaxed in his chair to unbearably tense as a wave of freezing cold washes over him. He shudders and clenches his teeth to make them stop chattering, wrapping his arms around his now trembling body and hunching in on himself. A sob tears itself from Cupid’s throat. He’s never felt so cold and empty before in his entire life. It hurts, a throbbing pain radiating out from the hollow hole in his chest and attacking the rest of his body.

Arms wrap around him and he’s pulled to the side until he leans into a solid body. He tucks his face into Blitzen’s stomach but the warmth that he’s seeking isn’t there. Everything’s just cold cold cold.

“You okay?”

He can't stop shaking, even though he feels like he’s going to fall apart any second now. 

“Cupid? Please talk to me.”

He can’t bring himself to talk, too focused on the pain and the cold.

Cupid can’t be sure how long it lasts, but eventually he starts to feel warm again and he can finally focus past the ache in his chest, finding himself still slumped against Blitzen, who sighs with relief when he notices Cupid looking up at him.

“You’re okay?” he asks hopefully.

“Yeah,” Cupid rasps. “Sorry.”

Blitzen frowns, pulling away from Cupid to look him over. “Sorry? Buddy, I’m the one who should be sorry. I didn’t know it would… affect you like that.”

Cupid shrugs. “Now we know. At least it worked, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Cupid swings their legs over the side of the chair and tries to stand. The movement brings a wave of exhaustion with it and Blitzen rushes to catch him before he can fall, holding his arms until he can balance again. “Come on, you should rest. I’ll get you to your room.”

⋆❅*𖢔𐂂꙳

Tags: @whumpcember@sapphicccici

list

[coastxlwaters]

@stormbreaker-290

Sooo

I did smth ;v;

QPR reyna (my oc/sona) x Static (a friends oc/sona)

Random drabblessss

Sighing, Static, their partner, wasnt home yet it seems. Purring into a pillow with several cups of soup already drained on the coffee table, the tv playing a nature documentary for background noise. Feeling a serious more amount of seratonin than usual, but that happens every now and then. Usually it means the start of that time of the month is coming soon, but its been happening alot more without the pain and annoyance of that threat. Ever since Static and them lived together, actually. All they want right now is cuddles and hugs, but their partner wasnt here to give them that.

Shango was sleeping somewhere else. so cuddles with them are out of the picture. Autumn was hanging with Blitzen who was outside for no exact reason, probably found an interesting lizard.

Getting up feels like to much work, but to stop moving would simply be torture inside this stupid meat prison. The documentary turns to look out over the mountains, saying something about bears. Earlier, it was on ocean life and thats why it was turned on, guessing that the segment on sea life is over now they flopped back down.

Ears and tail flicking not so gently, waiting for the slightest of sounds from the entrance for their partner. A small click from the door unlocking, already rocketing off the sofa to the door to tackle Static.

“Im hoM!-hI REYNA-“ Surprise crossed his face mid second before being tackled but caught before hitting the floor. Immediately bening carried to the couch and flopping ontop of it with her tall, equestrian partner, lying on top of them purring nonstop. Face shoved right into Static’s chest, and tail swishing happily in the air. The purring felt like a massage with how strong it was compared to a normal cat’s. To be expected, though, as Reyna is more than twice as long- er, tall as the largest your average Maine coon can get. Sighing, allowing himself to be subjected to this cuddly fate for Hyades nows how long.

Four hours later and Reyna and Static are both asleep with Reyna still a cuddly, purring, mess, and Static confused but not unhappy.

[hemipenal-system]

merry christmas to those who celebrate. have some debauchery on the house.

✨ reindeer post-job shenanigans ✨

it's a long night for everyone, and the whole sleigh crew gets back cold, hungry, and exhausted. they just need something nice to lift their spirits, you know? here's how you can help each of them, should you find yourself into a position to do so:

✨Dasher ✨ - usually gets delegated all the leadership jobs when Rudolph isn't there, and returns obscenely stressed every single year because of it. she's really not cut out for this job, but her name comes first in the lineup so she's stuck with it. she probably won't even want anything really, just snuggle up to her and tell her she did a good job – she needs to hear it. put on a movie or something, make a warm dinner, and put your arm around her and pepper her with gentle kisses. she'll fall in love.

✨ Dancer ✨ - limitless ball of energy. she spends the night entirely just hyping Dasher up enough to do her job, and she's still absolutely pumped afterwards. whatever position you end up in, she's probably doing all the work in an attempt to tire herself out, but she never seems to be able to. do some stretching first, it's gonna be rough and hard and will probably leave you gasping and bruised, but she'll be reassuring while she rails you senseless.

✨ Prancer ✨ - doesn't really want to be there either, but is fine with it. really is just chill as hell. she likes to show off her partners, so expect to be displayed on a pretty leash or railed in front of the others fairly often. she also tends to be down for whatever on your own time, so if you suggest something she'll probably try it out with you, in front of everyone, of course, since she just likes to be around you (and in you. preferably in you.)

✨ Vixen ✨ - she may be the most overtly feminine one on the crew, but don't be fooled by that. her job requires strict discipline, and she'll hold you to the same standards, whether it's brusquely making sure you've eaten enough and hydrated that day or it's learning three new commands a session and practicing all the previous ones until you don't even have to think about it anymore. when you say that makes you feel like an animal, she smiles and says it's hotter that way. lean into it for her.

✨ Comet & Cupid ✨ - they do pretty much everything and everyone together, and you're no exception. they may both be goofballs who can't stop joking around the entire time, but that won't make it feel any less good for you. whether it's both ends or both in one, they will both be involved at once, and it occasionally does get competitive as they fight to see who can make you enjoy it more. really, they're here for your pleasure, so don't be afraid to tell them what you like and they'll try to do it!

✨ Donner ✨ - scary as shit. like, fur dyed black, horn piercings, threatens to crush elves under her hooves if they get in her way scary. she will most likely seem initially standoffish to you and graduate to just being fully mean. if you cry during it, she will find that attractive and keep doing whatever made you cry. multiple safewords are almost definitely a must if you like any form of cnc so she can casually ignore the first one. you will have to tell her every time you fuck to put her knife collection away. you're pretty sure she has murder charges. she might cry afterwards though. just hold her and tell her you had a good time and she didn't hurt you that bad. affection is hard for her.

✨ Blitzen ✨ - spends a significant amount of time blitzed and is also absolutely massive. if you ask her nicely she will shotgun weed with you. she'll actually probably do it if you don't ask either, just be careful kissing her before you end up higher than the sleigh. very very into having you sit in her lap, she loves how surprised people get when she stiffens under them. she knows her size, and she's really gentle, but it's still a lot, so just be safe. she understands if you can't fit her, but that's ok! she'll be plenty chipper regardless! aftercare for this is probably gonna be a warm bath or some kind of massage to put your guts back where they're supposed to be. she's also the switchiest, and would probably enjoy being tied up by you or by her teammates. (especially bc she's so much larger than them it's the only way they can handle her) good luck.

✨ Rudolph ✨ - very confident as the team leader and nowhere else. he spends most of his time hiding from the girls when they're not pulling the sleigh, not because he doesn't like it but because he has actual jobs that aren't taking reindeergirl cock to the base 24/7/364 and he literally doesn't have time for all of them. he'd be happy if you'd take some of the strain off him, and would find some innovative ways to reward you if you asked.

[l-egionaire]

I've seen some people float the idea that after finishing college in New Rome Annabeth would work on constructing a "New Greece" in camp half blood. I at first liked that idea but lately I've thought "She wouldn't do that" because it's A) Thinking too small for Annabeth and B) Not accurate to how Ancient Greece was.

Because Greece wasn't really one place back in the ancient times when the Greek gods were still on Earth. Greece was a bunch of city states that were all part of the same continent but not one country. So, instead of building ONE city near Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth would build greecian cities in ALL FIFTY STATES OF THE US.

Each one would be like a small Greek city built into hidden locations all over the US, with the largest one being New Athens in New York (because Annabeth would absolutely want to build a New Athens). Each one would be filled with demigods, nature spirits, cyclopses, and other magical beings. Each would have their own unique features, but some brands and businesses would be shared among them, including the Hermes mail service, Hepheastuses arsenal stores, demigod general stores that sell everything from rope, swords, ambrosia and nectar to flashlights and batteries, and of course Blitzen's Best.

Each city would have a patron God or goddess who provides the city with magical protections against monsters. Poseidon in Maryland, Zeus in DC, Demeter in Kansas and oddly enough, Artemis in Texas. (Ares wanted to be the patron God of the Texas city and tried offering the demigods who ran the city machine guns that shot celestial bronze bullets but Artemis beat him out by preparing the Texan demigods a barbecue feast made from creatures she'd caught on her hunt.) The only one that has more than one is New Athens. It's patron deities being Athena, Poseidon, Apollo, and Dionysus.

Each city is its own independent city, each run by their own special counsel of demigods and spirits. Thus, each one has their own unique culture, layout, businesses and even styles of pizza. Much like the US states, each city has their own little microcosm of culture.

[triptychgrip]

Rudolph Viktor, the Red-Nosed Assed Reindeer (ficlet)

In these trying times, I’m coping by imagining Viktor Katsuki-Nikiforov putting a lewd spin on wholesome holiday songs in order to make his husband laugh/cheer him up. I hope you enjoy this ficlet (and can muster through the secondhand embarrassment). Also, I know it’s not even December…sue me. 

In case it’s not obvious, sexually suggestive content below the cut

—

Yuuri gawked at the sight of two….hooves?! parting the mistletoe-strewn curtains that had been set up in their living room. 

A familiar melody began to play from their Bluetooth speaker and he watched, stock-still on the couch as Viktor fully emerged from behind his hiding spot. Yuuri felt his mouth go slack as his husband began to prance and twirl around in front of him, wearing a very scanty, mostly fur-covered outfit. 

He wasn’t sure where to direct his attention: at the jingle-bell adorned microphone that Viktor was holding in between two hoof-like “sleeves”, the enormous antlers atop his head, the luxuriously soft-looking hotpants covering his lower half, or the three furry mounds vibrating just behind his ankles that bore great resemblance to their dogs.

Well…reindeer-dog hybrids was the more accurate descriptor.

“You know Dasher and Dancer and Makka and Vixen,” Viktor sang, prompting Yuuri’s lips to quirk as he caught on to where this ambush was going.

“Comet and Meni and Goya and Blitzen! But do you recallllll…”

His love drew out the last syllable for a good four seconds longer than necessary and then did a dramatic spin, somehow managing to deftly side-step a very excited reindeer-Makka (even with his extremely clunky-looking, fur-covered stiletto boots).

“...the most naughty reindeer of all?”

Yuuri’s breath lodged firmly in his throat. Naughty?

“Viktor the Red-Assed Reindeer, had a very reddened rear!”

While singing, Viktor gracefully made his way over to one of the room’s side tables and picked up what looked to be a paddle, printed with white, cursive lettering. Yuuri squinted to see what was on it, given how Viktor was swaying from side to side as he made his way back to the center of the room.

A frisson of excitement licked up his spine as he comprehended the words.

Santa’s Naughty Boy

‘Boy’ had been crossed out, and a taped-over piece of paper that read ‘Reindeer’ had been stuck just below it. 

“And if you ever saw it, you would probably shed a tear!” his spouse continued on, miming wiping said tear off of his cheek. “Because my ass is a damn fine work of art, if I do say so myself.” (At this point, the music had paused and Viktor had lowered his microphone, breaking the fourth wall by speaking in his regular voice.)

Yuuri burst into giggles, a soaring feeling building in his chest when he saw how his amusement had made Viktor’s heart-shaped smile emerge.

“All of the other reindeer, never questioned Santa’s role –” (here, Viktor turned to shake his head sorrowfully at Makka, Meni, and Goya, as if to convey his deep disappointment in them) “ – they never understood that getting spanked was Viktor’s goal!”

Yuuri hiccuped a loud laugh at these lyrics, which was followed by several others when his husband began to swat at his own ass with the paddle. Tears of mirth began to swim in his eyes as all three of their dogs tilted their heads in confusion.

But Viktor kept up his antics, somehow managing to simultaneously spank himself, continue to twirl, and sing (though this latter task suffered a bit, on account of how breathy his voice now was).

“Then one trying Christmas Eve…”

The music cut out, and Viktor broke the fourth wall for a second time.

“...after a particularly long day of winding Santa up and, frankly, pissing off all of the elves –”

Yuuri was now laughing so hard he was finding it hard to breathe.

…

Success! Viktor delightedly thought to himself, as he watched tears drip down Yuuri’s cheeks.

After winning the Grand Prix Final the last two years in a row, he knew that his husband had been disappointed in himself for his bronze medal finish last week. Though he’d tried his best to console him, nothing seemed to be able to penetrate Yuuri’s glumness.

Until now.

He puffed his chest out and put a hand on his hip, wanting to give his all to his imitation of the inimitable Mr. Claus.

“Saint Nick came to say: Viktor with your ass so tight, won’t you ride my sleigh tonight?”

Yuuri’s eyes widened and then he was clapping a hand over his mouth, presumably to stifle his laughter. Viktor was pretty proud of this rework of the lyrics; sure, it might have made more logical sense to go with the whole “ass so bright” on account of the whole spanking motif, but he was the master of surprising the audience. And his love certainly seemed surprised. 

Besides, this “riding Santa’s sleigh” version played into the very filthy conclusion far too well.

“None of the other reindeer got to crack this dirty code, since they had to handle Christmas…while Viktor took a festive load!”

For the final time, the music cut out and Viktor allowed his “caveat” to tumble out in a rush.

“And when I say ‘Viktor took a festive load’, I’m not talking about him delivering presents,” he wryly noted, wondering if Yuuri would be able to properly acknowledge this genius wordplay, on account of how he seemed to be fighting for breath. “I mean that he got spanked and stuffed like a stocking, and several good children all over the world never received their presents that year, on account of his and Santa’s horniness.”

The closing instrumental music came back on, and as the song wound down, Viktor tried to catch his breath, feeling a bit winded. He wasn’t the only one; Yuuri was hiding his beet-red face in the crook of his elbow. 

Around several deep inhales, he began to giggle when Makka, Meni, and Goya scurried towards the couch, the latter two poodles leaping onto it with such fervor that their antler “headbands” fell off. 

“What did you think, Santa? Did you like the song?” Viktor crowed, making his way over as well.

As soon as his spouse was in reach, he glomped onto him, practically collapsing into his lap. Yuuri stilled all of a sudden, reciprocating his hold rather slowly and turning his teary-eyed gaze upon him.

“Santa?! I’m Santa in this scenario?!” he burst out, looking like he was about to dissolve right back into a giggle fit.

Viktor gasped in mock-outrage and shoved his microphone in Yuuri’s face, jingling the attached bells obnoxiously.

“How could you even ask me that, my Yuuri?! As if I could ever be interested in riding another man’s sleigh!”

With this definitive declaration, he slumped over completely onto the living room rug, and it wasn’t even a second later that Makka began to sniff at his antlers with great interest.

“You have wounded me! I don’t think I’ll ever recover!” he crowed.

Yuuri let out a cackle and then hunched over, peering at him from upside down. “My mistake, Vitya. Santa threw back one too many glasses of eggnog. Let me make it up to you?”

He lifted his foot and began to wiggle it, enticingly, and Viktor sat up so fast that he almost toppled over on account of his antlers.

[polarized-here]

It's my silly guy Blitzen Tinsel!!! @spinningbagel

He's so sillyyy!! (the name is Christmas themed—Halloween is my favorite holiday since it's so close to my birthday—oct. 27th. No I will not explain why he's got the name).

Lore for the silly guy under the cut:

(bagel lmk if anything wouldn't work so I can rewrite his backstory—and I mean im making him for your ocs/world so erm, he's like mine but with an asterisk*)

OKAY SO HIS SILLY LOREEE :))))))

He's got the horns of a Ram & the ears of a goat—I just think they're both neat animals—and the lore was made in like 5 minutes so pardon the messiness of it. But essentially she's just like that™ and I wanted to draw the ears of a goat, but I also like ram horns,,,,

Anyways their story :)))

He's a single child who grew up on a farm but when she got older they wanted to start learning to become a geologist—or some sort of Botanist. But his parents needed someone to tend to the farms as they were getting older. So they had to push those dreams to the side to help take care of their parents & their farm. But their parents were very sad that he can't live out his dreams—so they make sure to buy him all sorts of biology, geology, botany, and on occasion—mathematics books.

She loves all the books she recives!

———

Another thing I wanted to mention—she's very calm/tired/laid back from farming all day—but they used to be very different when he was younger. They were like the ram with the largest horns type of deal (not the strongest)—and would headbutt anyone who bothered them—still being at the age to not understand that headbutting people isn't nice.

At some point someone she knew as a friend was just a bit too forceful when they took a toy—or had just been a bit too rough with them—and they headbutted their friend—another ram.

Blitzen's ram horns weren't strong—he was still pretty young at the time compared to their friend, who was a couple of years older than him. And Blitzen would headbutt other people—but they were weak attempts—this time Blitzen was aiming to really make them shove it.

Blitzen's horns broke off—the both of them, and it was an ugly mess—Blitzen didn't stop attempting to headbutt their friend until an adult stopped her. Only then did Blitzen realize what they were doing & how they shouldn't have done that.

They stopped headbutting people and changed—they wanted to be nicer—because people would often call them rude. So now they wanted to stop all of that—being mean and hurting people, because at some point it would hurt them—and they didn't like being hurt—especially since blood stained their hair and the headbutting broke their horns—meaning they had to wear bandages for a couple of days to stop the bleeding—which was pretty uncomfortable to Blitzen.

Along with the change in weight—having horns, then suddenly not would be an experience for anyone.

So they began to work on their parent's farm—or do any sort of activities to keep themselves distracted since they always get so pent up with energy.

-----

They can't even really remember why—it's been so long—but they don't like being mad.

[deadrayg2mf]

Dead Ray's Nightmare Gauntlet: Melanie Nyx

I don't even know where to fucking start with this review. I knew going into this that I was in for a bad time. I was just unaware how bad of a time... "Never judge a book by its cover!" Well, I should have, and harshly at that. This won't be a long text post of my written-out thoughts and summary like the other reviews as this is a six for one since all the books are generally less than 30 pages (the longer ones are the ones with three books crammed into one) so I will just list them from worst to best with bulleted points, but to start; a small list of things that spanned all the books.

All dicks that are not tentacles are as long as the female leads forearm and as thick as her wrist.

The use of "virgin asshole."

Saying the dick or tongue reached places previously untouched.

Juices running down thighs and into ass cracks.

Different, but ultimately, the best tasting cum to exist. (TBH it all sounded like it would send me running to the bathroom as fast as a glass of milk)

Mind control??? Like there has to be??? I simply cannot be convinced that upon laying their eyes on, what appears to be the average size, a giant dick all of a sudden, each female lead is down to clown.

Badly and shortly written smut, all bad porno scripts, like really bad, I'm talking even bad porn producers would throw these in the reject pile.

Reigned In by the Reindeer Man 0/10

Trigger warning for attempted sexual assault and overall, general nasty man.

Starts out with her in what I wish wasn't a common situation for woman but, unfortunately, most definitely is with a disgusting man being disgusting towards her

Pervy Santa she works with gets aggressive, chases her through the mall attempting to assault her, she runs out into traffic and almost gets hit by a truck (truck-kun almost coming in for that isekai save)

Oh Whoa, she gets whisked away by something furry and antlered

It's Blitzen

but like

a ten-foot-tall, super muscular and humanoid Blitzen

You'll never guess how huge his dick is, because it is out and demanding

Would have definitely dubbed this a noncon situation if, at the very last second, she hadn't decided that giant deer dick was worth getting a taste of

Blitzen's cum tastes like all the best parts of Christmas if you were wondering

He also goes down like a champ, and plows like a champ, just an absolute beast in the sheets (◔_◔)

Laughed at the line "you invoked the Santa"

Blitzen does take offence to being called Vixen - he's kind of a douche tbh

Bad

Given to the Groundhog God 0/10

Trigger warning for potential pedophilia and rape being an aspect

A smutty, fantasy Hunger Games rip?

That line about odds being in favors is pretty fucking close

And the whole drawing names until your 18 and free from the selection

Um

Pedophilia?

Maybe?

Definitely nothing is said to not make this potential claim invalid

It says that woman are in danger for their first 18 years from getting their names drawn

And later the Groundhog God makes it clear he's gotta bone 'em to get their life force

I think

Crime was committed

If not pedophilia, definitely rape

So... disgusting, all the crime ones get 0's

She volunteers for her sister whose name gets drawn and goes for her (female lead is 21) to the Groundhog God

Oh, btw, it's fucking groundhogs day :|

She is entranced by his groundhog god dick

Turns out she's his mate (thank god he doesn't have to take any kids to fuck ever again)

She turns into a furry groundhog lady

Gag me with a spoon

Lusty Lost Souls 1/10

Girl who had three boyfriends who all tragically died on their way to a high school dance is facing her fears and returning to hometown ten years later

Oop, former classmate wants to kill her cause she still blames her for their deaths

BOOM, dead, how? They're ghosts or fog monsters or something along those lines

Now that main girl is back in town their all riled up and ready to get back in the sheets with her/protect her from the people trying to kill her

If I had a nickel for every time someone tried to kill the main girl, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

Anyways, after the second attempt made by former classmate who was in love with her, the boys make their appearance (this is the end of the book btw)

They then have a steamy (foggy?) fuck session and her old high school best friend watches from the sidelines but really just see's fog envelope the main girl and then all of a sudden she disappears forever

Not sure if she like died and also turned into fog or what happened there

It was boring

Tentacle Games 1.5/10

Just a horny squid games rip

Three books in one

They all sucked

This televised event where people compete for money but if they fuck up they get dragged off by tentacles

If you pay a subscription you get to see what happens backstage ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

It's sex... they get fucked by the tentacles

That's it...

The third book is the scientist who created the horny tentacle monster getting fucked by one

The other two are just contestants on the show (losers)

Shout out to the size queen in the second one... though size isn't exactly hard to come by in any of these books :|

Groped by the Grinch 1.5/10

Her name is Holly Jolly

The Grinch is an invisible being that just gropes people probably

She can see him because she harbors true holiday cheer

Canon mind control in this one, but the Grinch chooses to seduce her the old fashioned way

By taking her clothes off and rubbing his giant grinch dick on her

At least this one has embellishments

There's Christmas lights under the skin and they spin when he gets real jazzed

The Grinch is ripped, absolutely shredded, complete babe magnet (if they could see him)

Ass of a god

Missed the chance for the perfect rip from the movie with the lines "You're the... the... the" "the, the, the, the Grinch!"

Absolutely wasted opportunity (but if you can get sued for that then I get it)

Also has Christmas cum but not the same as Blitzens'

The first, and possibly only, one we get a kiss in I think?

How romantic of Mr. Grinch

It was bad, still really really bad, but better than some

Seduced by Santa's Elves 2/10

Literally had to google the title to make sure I got it right and the 5th search result was pornhub (・_・ヾ

Jumped the gun and messaged multiple friends that this book was Santa getting cucked by Mrs. Clause and his elves

Was incorrect, kinda

Santa did get cucked by Mrs. Clause BUT it was with the easter bunny and the female lead of this is actually his sister

So, Santa leaves to go deliver Christmas presents, Mary, the lead, goes to her room to get frisky with her toys and Christmas themed porn that does not involve images of her brother (apparently hard to come by - someone direct her to previously listed Christmas books)

Dildo, hilt deep, oh what's that? Mary feels her breast get fondled?

Elf

Three elves, eventually; Bowie, Snowie, and Tinsel

Don't worry, their names are unimportant because not even the author could keep track of them

In one paragraph, Bowie's getting head, Snowie's going for that virgin ass, and Tinsel has touched places previously untouched with, you guessed it, a ginormous dick

In the next? Bowie is balls deep, Tinsel is at the back door, and Snowie is suddenly restricting her air space...

Literally consecutive paragraphs

Honestly, the dick size is unprecedented and frankly uncanny for these being three-foot-tall furry gremlin like things that are not at all reminiscent of the cover image

They also have Christmas cum... but not like Blitzens or the Grinch

BTW they have her bound and hanging above her bed with curtains

The only male characters who aren't shredded beefcakes?

Maybe the author just missed her chance at getting Mary to lick Snowie's washboard abs

Call me a scrouge but this fucking sucked

Amityville Tentacles: The Series 2.5/10

Another three books in one, but all revolving around a central point

A house that has a tentacle demon in it and it must fuck

Honestly, did not mind the first one

Not the most offensive thing I'd ever read

The second one was also fine?

They each had like some sort of backstory that I could live with

The third one was the worst

They are obviously mindless stories revolving around the smut aspect

Inherently, that makes them pretty bad

But the smut in these ones was much better than the previous books listed

My head did not hurt reading this

I can live with the fact that this exists

Seduced by the Pumpkin King 3.5/10

Sue me

I actually liked this one

Enough that I was like...

Flesh it out? Write it better? Give us more plot and backstory?

I'd read it again if these conditions were met

Main girl finds boyfriend cheating on her, somehow gets lost on her way home, ends up in this town and asks for help, the towns people chase her into the woods as a sacrifice for the dark one

I think that's what they called him

He's the king of nightmares and is just a super tall, super ripped, pumpkin-headed bloke

TBH, was into him

He was nice and I think he had a good design for a monster

His forearm length, wrist thick dick also had embellishments

He had little vines that wrapped around it

I'd fuck him (shakes my head with my silly little ace/aro lies teehee)

They ended up married

Short, simple, kind of cute little story

Still not great, but the best out of a bad bunch

I won't even get into the other story of Melanie Nyx's that I read, it's the giant skeleton one that can be found on the list of "books that belong in jail" list from tik tok. I did read it, and my poor, sweet, innocent friend, who watches as I drown in a suffering of my own creation, had to open the multiple snapchat videos (sent at 1 am) of me lamenting and begging for me to never commit to a bit like this again due to the horrors and atrocities I made my stupid little brain compute. I will warn, if you choose to dip your toe in this forbidden pool of trash, it is noncon and just plain bad.

Overall, don't fuckin read these. It's absolute trash and I hate myself for making me do this.

Will I ever do another nightmare gauntlet again? I don't know... I was dubbed a masochist for going through with this and while I am a glutton for punishment, I did also feel my soul leaving my body on many occasions. When I look in the mirror now, I see a broken person... which isn't much different than before but like, the light in my eyes has died just that much more.

Would I read again? Not in this life or the next or the one after that or any again.

Would I recommend? Read this post and ask me that again, look me in my cold, dead eyes and think it through. Please for the love of it all spare yourself from this

[multi-level-shipper]

I love modern Rudolph retellings and whenever I have spare time I like working on my own lol! Hoping to make it into a comic at some point but it's on the backburner

Don't ask where Dancer and Prancer went I'm still working on them lmao. Cole is some guy don't worry about him

Notes under the cut:

Dasher: No-nonsense leader, they kinda remind me of Bluestar if that makes any sense

Vixen: Fox that's been living his life as a reindeer

Comet: Has a special connection with the spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future

Cupid: Overall charismatic guy who often gets into some kind of trouble

Dunder: Whoop your ass

Blixem: Mostly follows Dunder around, both consider each other best friends. He's not the brightest

Rudolph: There's something about that boy

Cole: I thought it would be funny to name a good guy "Cole" because it sounds like "coal", the thing you generally get in your stocking if you're being bad. Yeah there is no help for me

Also also! I'm American so I've always said it "Donner and Blitzen" (WHICH...THOSE NAMES DON'T MEAN SQUAT?), but considering their names are rooted in German it feels really silly to keep calling them that? So I went with the original pronunciations (meaning "thunder" and "lightning.")

[coffeestripes]

A novakid, a floran, a nightar, an avian, a yautja, a khenixeross and a captan avali aboard the same ship as a tripulation of mercenaries

Absolute mayhem.

For some context + Species info:

Novakid / Nova - He has a strage flame, usually the Novakids are simplier and lighter colors, but Nova has a intense deep blue like "fire". Loves weapons, has lots of them and even Blitzen is confused how he gets more and more everyday

Nightar / Dredavus - "Everyone is too loud, except Nova… But he's too… Too bright" The only reason to them being on that ship is because loves working there as the ship technician. Usually stays back when the things get heavy, but they are always trying to help at least as a light support. Ironically Nova and them are close friends

Avian / Teicach - "Fuck Kluex idc about religion" He spend lots of time studying other races around the universe, so yes he's a efficient med. Maybe a little bit too cocky but no one in the ship is going to be smugger than Ze'Tier, so she usually keeps the chiken on the ground. Blitzen is grateful about that

Floran / Tassavage - He's also a strange being among his species. Two cat-like ears and a leafy tail, claws sharper than usual and a more primitive behaviour. However, keeps himself under control. Challenges a lot Ze'Tier, always loses, never gives up. Always facing the danger with Nova and Ze'Tier. They love fighting and are hard to beat up, so Blitzen lets them be

Yautja (this is avp acc duh, but still here is something)/ Ze'Tier - "Why ooman so strange... No ooman scent- Earthy- Not even ooman? Wait that's a plant?!" Big bulky yautja lady. Considered a bad blood due her clan, Blitzen took the risk to allow her on his ship. At that time the avali was only starting to make a tripulation, and why not? A yautja may be a dangerous option, even more a female one but it was a good opportunity to have someone strong there. Spends lots of time training with Tassavage, even if the little flowy-smelling shit gets too intense time to time. As someone who almost never left the planet it was amazing to be around those curious "h'ulij-bpe s'yuit-de" (affectionate). She Also helps to move the big containers and knit things to have a little sustain besides her work there

Khenixeross / Khornerite (Name attached to changes) - Old Blitzen's friend. No one in the ship is very happy to have him around. The Khenixeross are vastly know to play with biotechnology, however, they reach some brutal extremes, creating something completly different almost twisted from the living being they where originally using. Khornerite doesn't like this, so when he was banished decided to go with Blitzen. Usually manages the new missions and helps Teicach in the nursey. Something the bird is not fully comfortable, but at least Khornerite is… Friendly.

Avali / Blitzen - Hates the stereotype of "awwhh cute floffy raptors" NO. Dare to say that to him and congratulations here is your plasma shot that slowly burns the flesh around your well gained hole. Polite, but kinda temperamental. He always loved the idea of exploring the universe. And that's what he did. Has many space stations filled with curious things and even creatures he found around his long, long trips. However, sometimes was quite lonely

But. With this new crew, they where more than readdy to "conquer the universe"

Image references of the characters. Sadly there are no yautjas at starbound (and the ones who exist are uhhh no thx,,,,) and the Khenixeross are a original species of crystal bugs made by me so no pics of them

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 12/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN

ELEVEN

PART TWELVE

                “Conversation go that well hmm?”

                “What?” Jake asks, and he’s distracted, pretty sure he’s going to need to jerk off before he’ll be able to get to sleep, certain he can still feel Bradley’s fingers on his skin, unable to really process anything more than his mom standing there in her dressing gown and talking to him.

                “You’re going to have hell in makeup tomorrow…”

                “Huh?”

                “Oh Jake… I’m happy for you honey.”

                He freezes then, because he hasn’t said anything and he looks at her and she’s just watching him, expression amused and he guesses he’s been a little distracted since he got home, but not massively so… He managed to ride home, settle Blitzen in her stall, all while sporting a semi which is now quickly disappearing in the face of his mother talking to him. Thank fuck for small mercies.

                “Happy about what exactly?”

                “Well, you didn’t have that beard rash at dinner. Twenty-four hours. Amazing what you can achieve with a little motivation isn’t it?”

                Oh god. He hadn’t realized that his face and neck would be literal red flags, broadcasting his recent activity. His mom is fat too observant and has always simply known when he had been making out with people. Years as a high school teacher and recognizing bullshit probably help. He groans.

                “You’re an unholy terror.”

                “And proud of the fact sweetie. Proud of you too. Well done on using your words.”

                Jakes grins, doesn’t mention that there weren’t a lot of words exchanged, not ones that he can repeat in polite company anyway, and his mom will believe whatever she wants, regardless of what he says right now.

                “Yeah, we like each other. It’s good.”

                “Good. Now I just need to get him to accept that dinner invite.”

                “Yeah, good luck with that one mom.”

…            …            …

                “Okay, what is going on. You’re smiling at Jake Seresin rather than just watching him with that slightly… mournful look.”

                “What’s more interesting is he’s smiling back,” Bob says, spooning more oatmeal into his mouth and Bradley loves working with his friends, he really does, but sometimes he also wishes they just didn’t quite know him so well. Maybe he should spend some time with some of the other teams, allow himself some distance if this whole thing doesn’t pan out. It’s not like Bob couldn’t take over from him here.

                “It wasn’t mournful,” Bradley mutters, taking a sip of his tea. “Considering maybe.”

                “Considering how much you want him maybe…” Natasha mutters, voice low and Bradley rolls his eyes, but also he can’t outright deny it either, because they’d all know he was lying. There’s a difference between being attracted to someone and wanting them to actually acting on it though. Last night was a revelation of the best sort and while they hadn’t had a chance to talk it had felt full of promise and potential, more to come, a prologue rather than an epilogue and the way Jake keeps catching his eye and smiling across the dining hall makes him feel surer about that fact.

                “Mind if I join you?” Javy Machado asks, and Bradley takes it as the reprieve it is, smirks at the blush appearing on Natasha’s cheeks and quirks an eyebrow but wisely keeps his mouth very firmly shut. He likes his dick and balls right where they are.

                The conversation flows around him and he focusses on eating for a bit and moving his shins out of the way of Natasha’s feet where she’s trying to kick him, clearly knowing what he’s thinking about Javy Machado coming over wanting to eat breakfast with her.

                “Bradley…” He looks up and Aunty Kaye is standing there, smiling her normal smile but her eyes are slightly more narrow than usual, like she’s either assessing him for body-bag size, or she’s about to tell a joke and she’s already laughing inwardly. It’s really hard to tell.

                “Aunty Kaye. Morning.”

                “Hmm. It is morning. And you are not going to need extra time in the makeup chair this morning…”

                “I’m sorry, what?”

                “My son’s face and neck look like he lost a fight with a roll of sandpaper…”

                Oh fuck.

                He can feel his cheeks heating, and at least he knows she’s Jake’s mom now and he isn’t hit with the shock of that as well. He hasn’t seen Jake up close yet, but he trusts that Aunty Kaye knows what she’s talking about and if he’s left Jake with stubble burn then… well. It’s kind of unavoidable if he wants to keep kissing him, he’s not going to apologize to Jake’s mom about it, not when Jake clearly didn’t seem to mind.

                Bob, Rueben, Natasha and Javy are all watching the interaction with glee, as are a handful of other people within hearing distance and he glances over to where he last saw Jake and he’s not there, instead he’s much closer, expression harried as he approaches and oh shit, his face and neck are definitely more pink than normal, not bright red, but definitely pink like he’s been out in the sun maybe.

                “Oh my god mom, please leave him alone…” Jake says. “I am so sorry about her.”

                “I expect you at dinner tonight. At the main house.”

                “Uh.”

                “Mom!” Jake exclaims, then he turns to Bradley. “You don’t have to come to dinner, she’s just meddling…”

                “Well, I’ve been inviting Bradley to dinner for a couple of weeks. Maybe with you there he’ll have more of an incentive to come, hmm?”

                Bradley is pretty sure he’s full-on blushing now, realizing that those dinner invitations maybe had an ulterior motive if Jake’s expression are anything to go by. He’s not going to avoid or ignore or run away from any of it anymore, and maybe they can finally have that conversation he feels needs to happen.

                “Seems like the least I can do considering the amount of makeup Jake’s going to need.”

THIRTEEN

[smindersonfan]

The Night before the night before Christmas by Rose Mary Barlow in December 1966

‘Twas the night before etcetera…and all through the house

One creature was stirring, and that was NO mouse.

‘Twas Mama, with no kerchief, but an eye full of gloom

While the turkey was thawing all over the room.

Papa was asleep, and the children were dreaming

Of tomorrow night’s joys from the sky to come streaming.

Even Santa, away at the top of the earth,

Was pounding HIS ear in his own downy berth.

Meanwhile Mama slaved away 'til the morn

On last minute wrapping ere the great Day was born.

Now where did she hide those darn gifts for the kids

Bought way last October and put under lids?

From the top of the house to the bottom again

Mama raced to and fro and then into the den.

“Now Dasher, now Prancer, now Donder and Blitzen”,

She mutters and fumes as she marks 'Hers’ or 'His'n’.

The scotch tape breaks off and the bows fall apart,

While the paper won’t stretch…a new roll she must start!

The tree lights won’t work and blow all the fuses.

Pine needles clog the sweeper, which also confuses.

The coffee pot perks for at least one more cup

While Mama eases her back by just standing straight up.

A couple of aspirin soon remedy this

And she hangs up the mistletoe with a sibilant hiss.

The camera now…Are there flash bulbs? How many?

Does it have any film? But, of course, there’s not any.

No matter how long she works through the night

There’ll be plenty to do when tomorrow turns bright.

The moon does NOT shine on the new fallen snow.

The darn stuff won’t fall this year, Christmas or no!

Sleds and ice skates will be poorly received

And the children by sleigh bells will NOT be deceived.

“Alas! Is THIS Christmas?”, she cries out in despair.

'Tis enough to turn white poor Mother’s dark hair!

But at last she gives up with a shake of her head

And, still in her clothes, she falls into bed.

Tomorrow will be Christmas Eve, and she’ll say

“Merry Christmas to all”, for there’s always SOME way!