#Stephen king was Right in his authors note when he said that he think pet semetary is the most disturbing book he’s written

[good-night-space-kid]

Everybody who says the shining is Stephen kings scariest book is Wrong. What the fuck is pet semetary that shits so fucked up and way more disturbing than the shining everybody is wrong

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

Random Review #3: Sleepwalkers (1992) and “Sleep Walk” (1959)

I. Sleepwalkers (1992) I couldn’t sleep last night so I started watching a trashy B-movie penned by Stephen King specifically for the screen called Sleepwalkers (1992). Simply put, the film is an unmitigated disaster. A piece of shit. But it didn’t need to be. That’s what’s so annoying about it. By 1992 King was a grizzled veteran of the silver screen, with more adaptations under his belt than any other author of his cohort. Puzo had the Godfather films (1972 and 1974, respectively), sure, but nothing else. Leonard Gardner had Fat City (1972), a movie I love, but Gardner got sucked into the Hollywood scene of cocaine and hot tub parties and never published another novel, focusing instead on screenplays for shitty TV shows like NYPD Blue. After Demon Seed (1977), a movie I have seen and disliked, nobody would touch Dean Koontz’s stuff with a ten foot pole, which is too bad because The Voice of the Night, a 1980 novel about two young pals, one of whom is a psychopath trying to convince the other to help him commit murder, would make a terrific movie. But Koontz’s adaptations have been uniformly awful. The made-for-TV film starring John C McGinley, 1997′s Intensity, is especially bad. There are exceptions, but Stephen King has been lucky enough to avoid the fate of his peers. Big name directors have tackled his work, from Stanley Kubrick to Brian De Palma. King even does a decent job of acting in Pet Semetary (1989), in his own Maximum Overdrive (1986) and in George Romero’s Creepshow (1982), where he plays a yokel named Jordy Verril who gets infected by a meteorite that causes green weeds to grow all over his body. Many have criticized King’s over-the-top performance in that flick, but for me King perfectly nails the campy and comical tone that Romero was going for. The dissolves in Creepshow literally come right off the pages of comics, so people expecting a subtle Ordinary People-style turn from King had clearly walked into the wrong theatre. Undoubtedly Creepshow succeeds at what it set out to do. I’m not sure Sleepwalkers succeeds though, unless the film’s goal was to get me to like cats even more than I already do. But I already love cats a great deal. Here’s my cat Cookie watching me edit this very blog post. 

And here’s one of my other cats, Church, named after the cat that reanimates and creeps out Louis and Ellie in Pet Sematary. Photo by @ScareAlex.

SPOILER ALERT: Do not keep reading if you plan on watching Sleepwalkers and want to find out for yourself what happens.

Stephen King saw many of his novels get adapted in the late 1970s and 80s: Carrie, The Shining, Firestarter, Christine, Cujo, and the movie that spawned the 1950s nostalgia industrial complex, Stand By Me, but Sleepwalkers was the first time he wrote a script specifically for the screen rather than adapting a novel that already existed. Maybe that’s why it’s so fucking bad. Stephen King is a novelist, gifted with a novelist’s rich imagination. He’s prone to giving backstories to even the most peripheral characters - think of Joe Chamber’s alcoholic neighbour Gary Pervier in the novel Cujo, who King follows for an unbelievable number of pages as the man stumbles drunkenly around his house spouting his catch phrase “I don’t give a shit,” drills a hole through his phone book so he can hang it from a string beside his phone, complains about his hemorrhoids getting “as big as golfballs” (I’m not joking), and just generally acts like an asshole until a rabid Cujo bounds over, rips his throat out, and he bleeds to death. In the novel Pervier’s death takes more than a few pages, but it makes for fun reading. You hate the man so fucking much that watching him die feels oddly satisfying. In the movie, though, his death occurs pretty quickly, and in a darkened hallway, so it’s hard to see what’s going on aside from Gary’s foot trembling. And Pervier’s “I don’t give a shit” makes sense when he’s drilling a hole in the phone book, not when he’s about to be savagely attacked by a rabid St Bernard. There’s just less room for back story in movies. In a medium that demands pruning and chiseling and the “less is more” dictum, King’s writing takes a marked turn for the worse. King is a prose maximalist, who freely admits to “writing to outrageous lengths” in his novels, listing It, The Stand, and The Tommyknockers as particularly egregious examples of literary logorrhea. He is not especially equipped to write concisely. This weakness is most apparent in Sleepwalkers’ dialogue, which sounds like it was supposed to be snappy and smart, like something Aaron Sorkin would write, but instead comes off like an even worse Tango & Cash, all bad jokes and shitty puns. More on those bad jokes later. First, the plot.

Sleepwalkers is about a boy named Charles and his mother Mary who travel around the United States killing and feeding off the lifeforce of various unfortunate people (if this sounds a little like The True Knot in Doctor Sleep, you’re not wrong. But self-plagiarism is not a crime). Charles and Mary are shapeshifting werewolf-type creatures called werecats, a species with its very own Wikipedia page. Wikipedia confers legitimacy dont’cha know, so lets assume werecats are real beings. According to said page, a werecat, “also written in a hyphenated form as were-cat) is an analogy to ‘werewolf’ for a feline therianthropic creature.” I’m gonna spell it with the hyphen from now on because “werecats” just looks like a typo. Okay? Okay.

Oddly enough, the were-cats in Sleepwalkers are terrified of cats. Actual cats. For the were-cats, cute kittens = kryptonite. When they see a cat or cats plural, this happens to them:

^ That is literally a scene from the movie. Charles is speeding when a cop pulls alongside him and bellows at him to pull over. Ever the rebel, Charles flips the cop the finger. But the cop has a cat named Clovis in his car, and when the cat pops up to have a look at the kid (see below), Charles shapeshifts first into a younger boy, then into whatever the fuck that is in the above screenshot.

Now, the were-cats aversion to normal cats is confusing because one would assume a were-cat to be a more evolved (or perhaps devolved?) version of the typical house kitty. The fact that these were-cats are bipedal alone suggests an advantage over our furry four-legged friends, no? Kinda like if humans were afraid of fucking gorillas. Wait...we are scared of gorillas. And chimpanzees. And all apes really. Okay, maybe the conceit of the film isn’t so silly after all. The film itself, however, is about as silly as a bad horror movie can get. When the policeman gets back to precinct and describes the incident above (”his face turned into a blur”) he is roundly ridiculed because in movies involving the supernatural nobody believes in the supernatural until it confronts them. It’s the law, sorry. Things don’t end well for the cop. Or for the guy who gets murdered when the mom stabs him with...an ear of corn. Yes, an ear of corn. Somehow, the mother is able to jam corn on the cob through a man’s body, without crushing the vegetable or turning it into yellow mash. It’s pretty amazing. Here is a sample of dialog from that scene: Cop About To Die On The Phone to Precinct: There’s blood everywhere! *STAB* Murderous Mother: No vegetables, no dessert. That is actually a line in the movie. “No vegetables, no dessert.” It’s no “let off some steam, Bennett” but it’s close. Told ya I’d get back to the bad jokes. See, Mary and Charles are new in town and therefore seeking to ingratiate themselves by killing everyone who suspects them of being weird, all while avoiding cats as best they can. At one point Charles yanks a man’s hand off and tells him to "keep [his] hands to [him]self," giving the man back his severed bloody hand. Later on Charles starts dating a girl who will gradually - and I do mean gradually - come to realize her boyfriend is not a real person but in fact a were-cat. Eventually our spunky young protagonist - Madchen Amick, who fans of Twin Peaks will recognize as Shelly - and a team of cats led by the adorable Clovis- kill the were-cat shapeshifting things and the sleepy small town (which is named Travis for some reason) goes back to normal, albeit with a slightly diminished population. For those keeping score, that’s Human/Cat Alliance 1, Shapeshifting Were-cats 0. It is clear triumph for the felis catus/people team! Unless we’re going by kill count, in which case it is closer to Human/Cat Alliance 2, Were-cats 26. I arrived at this figure through my own notes but also through a helpful video that takes a comprehensive and complete “carnage count” of all kills in Sleepwalkers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmt-DroK6uA

II. Santo & Johnny “Sleep Walk” (1959) Because Sleepwalkers is decidedly not known for its good acting or its well-written screenplay, it is perhaps best known for its liberal and sometimes contrapuntal use of Santo & Johnny’s classic steel guitar song “Sleep Walk,” possibly the most famous (and therefore best) instrumental of the 20th century. Some might say “Sleep Walk” is tied for the #1 spot with “Green Onions” by Booker T & the M.G.’s and/or “Wipe Out” by The Surfaris, but I disagree. The Santo & Johnny song is #1 because of its incalculable influence on all subsequent popular music. 

I’m not saying “Wipe Out” didn't inspire a million imitators, both contemporaneously and even decades later…for example here’s a surf rock instrumental from 1999 called “Giant Cow" by a Toronto band called The Urban Surf Kings. The video was one of the first to be animated using Flash (and it shows):

So there are no shortage of surf rock bands, even now, decades after its emergence from the shores of California to the jukeboxes of Middle America. My old band Sleep for the Nightlife used to regularly play Rancho Relaxo with a surf rock band called the Dildonics, who I liked a great deal. There's even a Danish surf rock band called Baby Woodrose, whose debut album is a favourite of mine. They apparently compete for the title of Denmark’s biggest surf pop band with a group called The Setting Son. When a country that has no surfing culture and no beaches has multiple surf rock bands, it is safe to say the genre has attained international reach. As far as I can tell, there aren’t many bands out there playing Booker T & the M.G.’s inspired instrumental rock. Link Wray’s “Rumble” was released four years before “Green Onions.” But the influence of Santo and Johnny’s “Sleep Walk” is so ubiquitous as to be almost immeasurable. The reason for this is the sheer popularity of the song’s chord progression. If Santo and Johnny hadn’t written it first, somebody else would have, simply because the progression is so beautiful and easy on the ears and resolvable in a satisfying way. Have a listen to “Sleep Walk” first and then let’s check out some songs it directly inspired. 

The chords are C, A minor, F and G. Minor variations sometimes reverse the last two chords, but if it begins with C to A minor, you can bet it’s following the “Sleep Walk” formula, almost as if musicians influenced by the song are in the titular trance. When it comes to playing guitar, Tom Waits once said “your hands are like dogs, going to the same places they’ve been. You have to be careful when playing is no longer in the mind but in the fingers, going to happy places. You have to break them of their habits or you don’t explore; you only play what is confident and pleasing.” Not only is it comforting to play and/or hear what we already know, studies have shown that our brains actively resist new music, because it takes work to understand the new information and assimilate it into a pattern we are cogent of. It isn’t until the brain recognizes the pattern that it gives us a dopamine rush. I’m not much for Pitchfork anymore, but a recent article they posted does a fine job of discussing this phenomenon in greater detail.

Led Zeppelin’s “D’Yer Maker” uses the “Sleep Walk” riff prominently, anchored by John Bonham and John Paul Jones’ white-boy reggae beat: 

Here it is again with Del Shannon’s classic “Little Town Flirt.” I love Shannon’s falsetto at the end when he goes “you better run and hide now bo-o-oy.”

The Beatles “Happiness is a Warm Gun” uses the Sleep Walk progression, though not for the whole song. It goes into the progression at the bridge at 1:34: 

Tumblr won’t let me embed any more videos, so you’ll to travel to another tab to hear these songs, but Neil Young gets in on the act with his overlooked classic “Winterlong:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV6r66n3TFI On their 1996 EP Interstate 8 Modest Mouse pay direct homage by singing over their own rendition of the original Santo & Johnny version, right down to the weeping steel guitar part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT_PwXjCqqs The vocals are typical wispy whispered indie rock vocals, but I think they work, particularly the two different voices. They titled their version “Sleepwalking (Couples Only Dance Prom Night).”

Dwight Yoakam’s “Thousand Miles From Nowhere” makes cinematic use of it. This song plays over the credits of one of my all-time favourite movies, 1993′s Red Rock West feat. Nicolas Cage, Lara Flynn Boyle, Dennis Hopper, and J.T. Walsh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu3ypuKq8WE

“39″ is my favourite Queen song. I guess now I know why. It uses my fav chord progression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE8kGMfXaFU 

Blink 182 scored their first hit “Dammit” with a minor variation on the Sleep Walk chord progression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT0g16_LQaQ

Midwest beer drinkin bar rockers Connections scored a shoulda-been-a-hit with the fist-pumping “Beat the Sky:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSNRq0n_WYA You’d be hard pressed to find a weaker lead singer than this guy (save for me, natch), but they make it work. This one’s an anthem.

Spoon, who have made a career out of deconstructing rock n’ roll, so that their songs sometimes sound needlessly sparse (especially “The Ghost of You Lingers,” which takes minimalism to its most extreme...just a piano being bashed on staccato-style for four minutes), so it should surprise nobody that they re-arrange the Sleep Walk chords on their classic from Gimme Fiction, “I Summon You:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teXA8N3aF9M I love that opening line: remember the weight of the world was a sound that we used to buy? I think songwriter Britt Daniel is talking about buying albums from the likes of Pearl Jam or Smashing Pumpkins, any of those grunge bands with pessimistic worldviews. There are a million more examples. I remember seeing some YouTube video where a trio of gross douchebros keep playing the same progression while singing a bunch of hits over it. I don’t like the smarmy way they do it, making it seem like artists are lazy and deliberately stealing. I don’t think it’s plagiarism to use this progression. And furthermore, tempo and production make all the difference. Take “This Magic Moment” for example. There's a version by Jay & the Americans and one by Ben E King & the Drifters. I’ve never been a fan of those shrieking violins or fiddles that open the latter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bacBKKgc4Uo The Jay & the Americans version puts the guitar riff way in the forefront, which I like a lot more. The guitar plays the entire progression once before the singing starts and the band joins in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKfASw6qoag

Each version has its own distinctive feel. They are pretty much two different songs. Perhaps the most famous use of the Sleep Walk progression is “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers, which is one of my favourite songs ever. The guy who chose to let Bobby Hatfield sing this one by himself must have kicked himself afterwards when it became a hit, much bigger than "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiiyq2xrSI0

What can you say about “Unchained Melody” that hasn’t already been said? God, that miraculously strong vocal, the way the strings (and later on, brass horns) are panned way over to the furthest reaches the left speaker while the drums and guitar are way over in the right, with the singing smack dab in the middle creates a kind of distance and sharp clarity that has never been reproduced in popular music, like seeing the skyscrapers of some distant city after an endless stretch of highway. After listening to “Unchained Melody,” one has to wonder: can that progression ever be improved upon? Can any artist write something more haunting, more beautiful, more uplifting than that? The “need your love” crescendo hits so fucking hard, as both the emotional and the sonic climax of the song, which of course is no accident...the strings descending and crashing like a waterfall of sound, it gets me every fucking time. Legend has it that King George II was so moved by the “Hallelujah” section of Handel’s “Messiah” that he stood up, he couldn't help himself, couldn't believe what he was hearing. I get that feeling with all my favourite songs. "1979." "Unchained Melody." "In The Still of the Night." "Digital Bath." "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?" "Interstate." "Liar's Tale." “Gimme Shelter.” The list goes on and on. Music is supposed to move us.

King George II stood because he was moved to do so. Music may be our creation, but it isn't our subordinate. All those sci-fi stories warning about technology growing beyond our control aren’t that far-fetched. Music is our creation but its power lies beyond our control. We are subordinate to music, helpless against its power and might, its urgency and vitality and beauty. There have been many times in my life when I have been so obsessed with a particular song that I pretty much want to live inside of it forever. A house of sound. I remember detoxing from heroin and listening to Grimes “Realiti” on repeat for twelve hours. Detoxing from OxyContin and listening to The Beach Boys “Dont Worry Baby” over and over. Or just being young and listening to “Tonight Tonight” over and over and over, tears streaming from my eyes in that way you cry when you’re a kid because you just feel so much and you don’t know what to do with the intensity of those feelings. It is precisely because we are so moved by music that we keep creating it. And in the act of that creation we are free. There are no limits to that freedom, which is why bands time and time again return to the well-worn Sleep Walk chord progression and try to make something new from it. Back in 2006, soon after buying what was then the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album, I found myself playing the album’s closing track over and over. I loved the chorus and I loved the way it collapses into a lo-fi demo at the very end, stripping away the studio sheen and...not to be too punny, showing its bones (the album title is Show Your Bones). Later on I would realize that the song, called “Turn Into,” uses the Sleep Walk chord progression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exqCFoPiwpk

It’s just like, what Waits said, our hands goes to where we are familiar. And so do our ears, which is why jazz often sounds so unpleasant to us upon first listen. Or Captain Beefheart. But it’s worth the effort to discover new stuff, just as it’s worth the effort to try and write it. I recently lamented on this blog that music to me now is more about remembrance than discovery, but I’m still only 35 years old. I’m middle-aged right now (I don’t expect to live past 70, not with the lifestyle I’ve been living). There’s still a whole other half life to find new music and love and leave it for still newer stuff. It’s worth the challenge, that moment of inner resistance we feel when confronted with something new and challenging and strange sounding. The austere demands of adult life, rent and routine, take so much of our time. I still make time for creative pursuits, but I don’t really have much time for discovery, for seeking out new music. But I’ve resolved to start making more time. A few years ago I tried to listen to and like Trout Mask Replica but I couldn’t. I just didn’t get what was going on. It sounded like a bunch of mistakes piled on top of each other. But then a few days ago I was writing while listening to music, as I always do, and YouTube somehow landed on Lick My Decals Off, Baby. I didn’t love what I was hearing but I was intrigued enough to keep going. And now I really like this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMnd9dvb3sA&pbjreload=101 Another example I’ll give is the rare Robert Pollard gem “Prom Is Coming.” The first time I heard this song, it sounded like someone who can’t play guitar messing around, but the more I heard it the more I realized there’s a song there. It’s weird and strange, but it’s there. The lyrics are classic Pollard: Disregard injury and race madly out of the universe by sundown. Pollard obviously has a special place in his heart for this track. He named one of his many record labels Prom Is Coming Records and he titled the Boston Spaceships best-of collection Out of the Universe By Sundown. I don’t know if I’ll ever become a Captain Beefheart megafan but I can hear that the man was doing something very strange and, at times, beautiful. And anyway, why should everything be easy? Aren’t some challenges worth meeting for the experience waiting on the other side of comprehension or acceptance? I try to remember this now whenever I’m first confronted with new music, instead of vetoing it right away. Most of my favourite bands I was initially resistant to when I first heard them. Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss, Guided by Voices, Spoon, Heavy Times. All bands I didn’t like at first.  I don’t wanna sleepwalk through life, surrounding myself only with things I have already experienced. I need to stay awake. Because soon enough I’ll be asleep forever. We need to try everything we can before the Big Sleep comes to take us back to the great blankness, the terrible question mark that bookends our lives.

[ccsthemovie2]

Character-Clow Reed

(avril lavingne voice) WHYD YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO CLOWMPLICATEEEED I SEE THE WAY YOURE ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED- ok jokes aside LETS GOOOOO 

Why I like them:

for all my angry yelling and kicking and complaining you may be surprised to learn that clow(riol) is one of my favorite parts of ccs! 

i think that having the Mystery and Legend of a long-dead wizard that hangs over sakura’s head at the start get light shed on it more and more so that we can see he’s just a person makes the world of ccs feel small and personal. it really stabilizes the heart of the series, what i love most about ccs- that it’s a story about individuals and the choices they make. the magic itself all traces back to one man and the way he felt it was right to act and to treat other people. i think he’s a fascinating character and a very very good choice of central figure.

Why I don’t:

THAT SAID, AAAAAGHHHHH HE IS HORRIBLE HE IS JUST A TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH. even putting aside everything he* pulls as eriol, just the things he does as clow reed make me SO upset....LYING ABOUT HIS DEATH??? ELABORATE SETUP TO PRETEND KERO AND YUE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF CHOOSING THE NEW CARD MASTER BUT ACTUALLY KNOWING ALL ALONG AND HAVING A SPECIAL MAGIC ITEM MADE TO SEE THAT IT GETS DONE??? BREEZING INTO A TOWN TO STEAL A FORTUNE TELLER’S BUSINESS, GETTING HER NICE AND KATE BEATON NEMESIS.PNG’D, AND THEN IGNORING HER FOREVER??? it’s bad!! *(it’s complicated,) ive said this jokingly before but i think he just doesnt even think about other people having agency, that he’s not trampling but Guiding and Helping. i think part of his controlfreakiness is also a deep fear that he’s not enough, that he can’t keep a friend on his own merits so he’s gotta get his claws sunk in as much as possible, whether by emotionally living rent free in people’s heads or magical dependance. and that’s not a uniquely horrible belief, yknow, i think it’s very human and normal, but the problem is no one can criticize him. not with the amount of control he has over the people he surrounds himself with, the fact that he can physically shut down kero and yue any time he likes, etc. it’s not that power inherently Makes You Evil, it’s that power made it harder for people to say “hey stop that”, and if no ones telling him to stop then he must be doing fine!

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

GENUINE TIE BETWEEN THE BACK TO THE PAST EP OF THE ANIME AND THE SAKURA SEES THE TRUTH SCENE IN MANGA. i think both of them are great- the tightly controlled dreamy guided tour where she sees just what he wants her to see, AND sakura outpowering him and seeing the reality of his lies. in the manga when sakura sees him gives gentle headkisses to kero and yue before putting them to bed and eriol+fujitaka-ing i go AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....... THEY LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TERRIBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUU MY HEART. i headcanon that’s when he mind-messed with them, too, i think he had to touch them to do it and that was how.

Favorite season/movie:

bold answer but im going to say the implications left behind in the clow card arc of Why Do Cards Act Like That/Have Those Specialties. what about clow made him want to make a voice-stealing card, a small-object-moving-card, a body-swap card, etc? it’s good questions.

Favorite line:

in the mokona book when they say he said dogs dont have owners they have housemates, bc that explains SOOOOO much abt him and how he treated kero and yue lololol. if you think being a pet owner and a roomate are the same you’re gonna treat your roomates, uhhhm, bad.

also if eriol counts its him in the wonderland ep like YOU DONT KNOW IF IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO PRETEND TO BE A CAT and I THINK YOU AND LI ARE SO DUMB I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE CONSTANTLY TO NOT INSULT YOU and BUT I CANT ACT LIKE THIS OR KERO AND YUE WILL KNOW IM CLOW. so like. was clow just like that then.

Favorite outfit:

uh his regular clothes are cool. theres an illustration on him in this cool coat with like a sun pin on it too. whenever i draw him in something frilly i have a huge brain. cant deny the guy has style and aesthetics. sakura’s first staff, look at it!! the style it has!!! 

OTP: 

im neutral-positive on clowyuuko cuz i havent holic’d since high school. you can refer to the answer i gave abt yue for clowyue thoughts (tl;dr: [touches ground] “something terrible happened here” ). madoushi is just kate beaton nemesis comic. 

i think it would be funny if albus dumbledore was his ex.

Brotp 

yuuko again i guess? and him and all his creations. headcanon territory even though that’s actually the next question but you asked for my thoughts so here they are: i think of him as trying to be a sort of fun camp counselor or teacher type for kero+yue and the cards- specifically a role with an authority behind it, but without the same sort of responsibility that a parent would have. or, i guess, lacking an unconditional love, always an undertone of you having to prove yourself. someone who you go to to learn from, but if he likes can also go “no no im just like you, now let’s have fun!”. it’s hard to explain, but there’s a difference. 

what i’m trying to get at here is i think it’s significant that the only creations he has that we see him truly ‘raise’, (going by the info+lack of it we have, anyway, i fill in the blank for myself that kero and yue and the cards all showed up full of knowledge, fully formed, CLAMP DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!), were the mokonas, with yuuko. it was another person’s influence that brought a parental attitude in, it’s not something he ever wanted to be. there’s also a healthy dose of “yue textually had a crush on clow and i will not, no way, let you make that any more unfortunate than that already is”, i’ll admit, but i think that’s just a puzzle piece of the whole theory here. i think it would also be funny if he knew people like tolkein (eriol’s a tolkeinverse name if i remember correctly) and c.s. lewis (side note, i find the fact that clow is an actively practicing christian really funny), but i dont want to think too deeply about that sort of realworld mix, yknow.

Head Canon: 

i think pranks were highly encouraged in his house and none of the clow cards are being intentionally destructive, just acting in ways that were totally normal at home, and are genuinely shocked to learn that people will get seriously injured without clow there to cushion their damage.

Unpopular opinion: 

evil

A wish: 

i wanna know what his pre-story days were like, his life with the cards, his life BEFORE the cards,

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: 

^ same the above but i find it out from clamp

5 words to best describe them:

did you know? clow sucks

My nickname for them: 

clown, :kingboo: (discord emoji of him with a 🚫 over it), “the bastard jester himself” (which is, or at least was, in comedian-podcaster stephen buckleys twitter bio and i think it abt clow frequently, sorry stephen buckley), king of living rent free in people’s heads

[theyearoftheking]

Book Sixty-Six: Blaze (A Bachman Book)

One afternoon I was wandering around my local Half-Priced books, perusing the Steve selections (wearing my mask, social distancing and following the arrows on the floor like a good citizen of the world), when I stumbled across a copy of Blaze. After Thinner, I thought I was done with the horror show of Bachman books. But, the universe had another surprise for me. Sometimes those surprises are the equivalent of a flat tire on a sub-zero day... but this surprise was more like finding a ten dollar bill in your coat pocket... pleasant and most unexpected. 

In the “Full Disclosure” section, Steve draws some parallels between Blaze and Of Mice & Men. I rolled my eyes when I read this. I mean, yes... you have a main character named George. I was sure the similarities ended there. But nope! Blaze is a strange little book because it’s more character driven than plot; and it’s more literary than one might expect. Dare I say, it’s my favorite of all the Bachman books. 

One other note about the “Full Disclosure”. As many of you know, Rage is no longer in print. Steve pulled it due to the storyline (a school shooting, where students end up turning on one another and eventually sympathize with the shooter). I wonder if he ever imagined our world turning out like it has (active shooter drills, bulletproof backpacks), and if he regrets the decision. Or, if in the wake of Columbine, and Sandy Hook, he stands behind it. There’s no right or wrong answer, I just think of all the strange and controversial material Steve has published, Rage seems like an interesting book to have strong feelings about. I was more offended by the housecleaner licking semen off bedsheets than I was about Rage. And don’t even get my started on the Jeffrey Dahmer/grave situation. I’ve spent much of the holiday eating cheese and drinking wine. I need to keep my blood pressure down. 

Ok, so Blaze! Clayton “Blaze” Blaisdell Jr was a smart, promising kid until he became the victim of his dad’s violent, alcoholic temper, and was thrown down the stairs. This incident resulted in a diminished mental capacity, and a large dent in his forehead. After the accident, Blaze was taken from his father’s custody and placed in Hetton House, which reminded me a lot of Sunlight Gardner’s School in The Talisman. Hetton House was presided over by Martin Coslaw- unsure of any relation to Mike Coslaw from 11/22/63.

While at Hetton House, Blaze buddies up with Johnny Cheltzman. Johnny does Blaze’s homework, and because Blaze is a huge fucking kid, he looks out for Johnny. One of the most endearing chapters of the book is when they find a wallet full of cash at the movie theater, and they treat themselves to a weekend in Boston; complete with a Sox game, and a fancy steak dinner. Alas, the good times are not to last for Blaze. The farmer that takes him under his wing and promises him a home dies unexpectedly, and even Johnny dies from rheumatic fever. Blaze ends up in prison (Shawshank, naturally), and eventually takes up with a con-man named George Rackley. Blaze and George have a variety of different cons going, but they eventually decide kidnapping a rich family’s baby would be the perfect crime, and would financially set them up for life. 

Before the kidnapping is actualized, George dies. But, his spirit lingers around Blaze, and encourages him to go through with the kidnapping. So, Blaze (the world’s worst kidnapper, FYI) kidnaps baby Joseph Gerard IV. About fifteen minutes after the abduction, the cops determine Blaze is the kidnapper. Truly, the worst felon ever... But, Blaze bonds with the baby, and they even hide out at the abandoned Hetton House. 

You already know how the story is going to end. Blaze isn’t going to get away with the crime, and he sure isn’t going to spend the rest of his life on the lam with Baby Joe. He’s shot dead by authorities, and buried not too far from Hetton House. A sad end to a sad life, made difficult by so many circumstances beyond his control. 

Like I said, it was heavy on character, and while Blaze wasn’t a great person, your heart hurt because in a different set of circumstances, he could have been so much more. Perhaps he could have been adopted by a foster family that had loved him. Maybe he wouldn’t have ended up in jail. Maybe he would have taught high school gym. It could have been so different. But that’s kind of the beautiful thing about this book. Like I said, so different from the other Bachman books, and definitely my favorite.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 42

Total Dark Tower References: 62

Book Grade: B+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

Just After Sunset: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Blaze: B+

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

The Wind Through the Keyhole: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D

Next up... is a stack of books to be reviewed. I’ve flown through Hard Listening and Joyland, and am starting Doctor Sleep for the second time. God bless the holiday shut-down!

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

[theamazingdrunk-blog]

Reposting DarkAngel's spec without permission

Little Know Facts about Louis and Lestat © Dark Angel

rueroyale@yahoo.com Spoilers: VampChron

Status: Complete Characters: Lestat & Louis Disclaimer: This piece of speculative fiction is not meant to infringe upon, sidle up to, nor slip in on top of the rights of the author of the Vampire Chronicles, Knopf Publishing or it’s subsidiaries, Kith and Kin, Geffen Pictures, Warner Home Video, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, The Estate of Pointe du Lac, L’etat d’Auvergne, The Talamasca, Pointedulac Renovation and Construction, The Lion Court - Bar and Strip Club, Dulac Real Estate - New Orleans, LA, Melmoth Prophylactics Company, L&L Gazebo and Porch Swing Manufacturing, Amadeo World Enterprises, Molloy Bourbon Distillery, any other SPEC Authors, any SPEC readers, their pets, close relatives or chiropractors. Thank you. Author’s Notes: I began writing this in 1996 when I first discovered the a.b.a.r Archive. I want you all to know that if any of the statements below directly or indirectly oppose or contradict anything that has been written in your or any other SPEC, this is unintentional, and I am sorry. Conversely if anything contained below has already been stated in your or any other SPEC, this is also unintentional and again I am sorry. It is just for fun. One vampire’s view. Please enjoy. Dedication: With generous suggestions from Father of Lies to whom it is dedicated.

I am a vampire, one who is known to you from the writings of the aforementioned. I do not wish to identify myself further than this, as I am not possessed of the need for fame. I have read the “Anne Rice” books as well as the literature which has been appearing in alt.books.anne.rice. These are very interesting. Some are so close to reality that I feel convinced that I am not the first one of our little family to submit writings here. The portrayal of Louis and Lestat, in the books and in these specs, compels me to reveal a few of these facts (personal traits, mortal experiences, abilities, likes and dislikes) which may give everyone a clearer image of them. Even in their own writings, they fail to describe themselves or each other the way that I see them to actually be.

I do know them personally. I have lived with them. I am extremely fond of them both, this is why I feel the need to dispel the notions of a weak, whining Louis and a violent, self-centered Lestat. These are stereotypes which emphasize the very worst (notice I don’t actually say non-existent) qualities of these two very charming and well-rounded gentlemen quite out of proportion.

Lestat de Lioncourt *******************

-loves puns. The worse the better.

-plays radio and CDs extremely loud. Has been made aware that this is quite annoying to every one else, but seems to revel in causing others to yell at him.

-often breaks into to song with little or no provocation, usually accompanied by dancing. Has actually danced on tables.

-being the last surviving member of his family, is technically the Marquis. He sometimes mentions this , as in “is this any way to treat le Marquis d’Auvergne?”

-is very sweet, often presents a member of the family with a single flower, for no reason at all.

-is terrible at video games and has very little patience for them, though he loves new technology and is very knowledgeable about computers. He can take them apart and put them together, though if he is asked to fix one, he is more likely to appear with a brand new one instead.

-writes poetry incessantly, some of it is very good, and a few are truly beautiful, but with the volume he produces, invariably most are going to be quite bad. This is also true for lyrics and music which any passerby is unfortunately subjected to.

-whenever he sees Tom Cruise, in magazines, videos or on television , has taken to exclaiming “There I am!” This started with the film and has now progressed, everyone has now picked it up, “There you are, Lestat!”

-still occasionally buys dolls, I am not sure what he does with them.

-will do nearly anything, including acrobatics, to make someone laugh. (this is usually practiced upon Louis)

-loves riddles.

-seems to know an infinite number of songs which he plays on the piano, he is a virtuoso. Plays more ragtime than classical, however.

-is a very tactile person. Hugs everyone as often as possible.

-takes an intense dislike to certain media (personalities, programs, movies, bands, songs, etc.) and will go on long tirades about these people or whatever it is, each and every time they appear, to the point where many of us offer to just go and kill them if this will in some way placate him.

-is still enamored with the Shakespearean play, “Macbeth”, to the point of obsession. He has seen it countless times and purchases copies of it in print, on video and even on CD ROM. It is due to this obsession that the rest of us have been treated to : “Macbeth-the one man show”, “MACBETH!-the musical”, and even “Lady Macbeth-an all-drag revue” (the specifics of which I do not care to go into, and how he convinced the others to participate, I’ll never know )All have been delightful!

-is still deep in mourning over the seeming demise of the heavy metal music scene. You would think it was a close relative. Now he has closets full of black leather clothing which he claims he can’t wear anywhere.

-is terrible at spelling, but loves to work crosswords and cryptograms.

-would do anything, at any time, to help a member of the family.

-pouts often, over trivial things mostly, but this is usually short-lived.

-has sent the entire coven personalized autographed copies of all of his books, with his dialogue printed in red, of course.

-loves fresh flowers and has new bouquets delivered every night.

-has an intense dislike of insects.

-is much more generous and adorable than he has been described. Is constantly buying things for someone, or giving things away.

-is actually very paternal. He likes to take care of people and animals, and can be very gentle and comforting. Often teases his fledglings by referring to them as a father would “this is my youngest, David”, or “Well, Louis is a middle child, so we must expect these things”, “tell Papa what’s wrong”, or even “Bedtime for you, young man” and “Go to your Room!”

-loves books, has stacks of them everywhere, including at other vampire’s lairs.

-his nicknames among us are “Trouble” and “Brat” (shortened from “Brat Prince” of which you are all aware). Once, at Night Island , several of us were sitting quietly together (reading, playing games etc.) when Lestat appeared suddenly in the middle of the room, striking a rather affected pose. “Who am I?” he demanded, trying to start a game of charades. Louis looked up from his book and said quietly, “The Nyades Road ghost?” Lestat has been The Nyades Road ghost ever since, as in, “Telephone call for the Nyades Road ghost”, “Who do these boots belong to? ” “The Nyades Road ghost” “Of course I didn’t do that, what do I look like, the Nyades Road ghost?” Daniel has taken to calling him NRG (energy).

-loves to play hide and seek in its many different variations.

-loves pseudonyms and uses them as often as possible. Often they are names of established characters, such as Clarence Oddbody. Has also used: Timothy Cratchit, Samuel Spade, Nick Charles, Dorian Gray and Rick Blaine. He also uses other people’s pseudonym’s, such as Oscar Wilde’s Sebastien Melmoth, has also used: Richard Bachman (Stephen King), Alan Smithee (any director who does not want to be associated with a film he or she made), Max Schreck (Name given for actor who portrayed Nosferatu, but strangely no records of a Max Schreck can be found), Apollo C. Vermouth (Paul McCartney) Dr. Winston O’Boogie (John Lennon) and even Pandora Spocks (Elizabeth Montgomery as Serena). Also likes Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Mark Twain, David Banner, Peter Parker, Thomas Mapother and Howard O’Brien. When making reservations or holding tickets for himself and Louis, loves to put them under some variation of Louis’ name, ie. Louis Lioncourt, Louis Armstrong, Lancelot DuLac, Joe Louis, Ludwig Loch, Luigi Punta Lago, Pointdexter Lewis or of course, Brad Pitt. And then makes Louis pick them up.

- is a dog person, as you have probably guessed. Talks more to Mojo than anyone else. Bathes and brushes him often. Takes those disgustingly cute pictures of him - Mojo on the couch, Mojo at the table, Mojo reading a book, Mojo in front of the Christmas Tree, Mojo at the computer, Mojo calling his broker, Mojo fixing the VCR, Mojo kicking back having a beer.

-is not particularly fond of cats, even as a meal.

- when they are living together, almost constantly messes with Louis’ hair, to the point where Louis threatens to smack him, and I believe actually has on occasion. Frets over it more than his own, even. HATES it short. Would only cut his own hair if it were somehow unavoidable.

- loves shopping, for himself or others.

- calls Louis “Precious Darling” if he thinks no one can hear him. It always makes Louis smile a little embarrassed smile. Louis almost certainly has little private names for Lestat, but he is far more discreet about them. I suspect, on the basis of some very circumstantial evidence, that one of them may be “Tomcat”.

-would secretly love to have the entire existing coven living all together

Louis de Pointe du Lac **********************

-has a beautiful voice. Sang in the choir of his parish cathedral as a child. Still sings softly to himself. Will sing with Lestat if cajoled long enough.

-loves the smell of grapes. It reminds him of his youth, there was a grape arbor at Pointe du Lac.

-often becomes enamored of certain television shows and will not miss them. Uses the VCR more than anyone else in the family, to the extent that he has worn out several machines. Has closets filled with shelf after shelf of tapes.

-often asks Lestat to play the piano for him.

-though they do argue and fight, even physically, Louis does have the best rapport with Lestat, and is often asked by others in the coven to “ask Lestat something for me, won’t you?”. Which Louis always does.

-plays practical jokes, like sending Armand a series of tapes entitled, “How To Speak With A Spanish Accent”, or sending boxes of cheap plastic fangs to any one of us. Since the film has come out, he always makes certain that a crimping iron is prominently displayed in their bathroom whenever they have guests. He has even had it engraved with Lestat’s initials.

-is a very good story teller.

-has a subtle , yet very lively , sense of humor. His standard greetings to Daniel include, “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to talk to you” and “I never give interviews, monsieur”. He had a fake book jacket with the title Daniel Molloy-Boy Reporter by Anne Rice made up, put it around a copy of their book (IWTV) and sent it to Night Island.

-is the “family” photographer.

-has an iron will, matched with a vicious temper. Though he is very slow to anger, and does tend more toward depression, when he is finally provoked, he is intimidating to us all, strength, age, and powers notwithstanding. All of us who have witnessed, or even heard about one of Louis’ rages (which have been few, four in over two hundred years) do all we can to avoid him during one of them. I can say with confidence that we would all fear to be the focus of one. You have certainly read about one, recorded in IWTV, in which he burns down the Theatre des Vampires. Another occurred during the time that we were all together, while Lestat was with Akasha. It was so upsetting to everyone that even Lestat, with his well known penchant for publishing even the most disturbing things about all of us, declined to include it in his book.

-keeps a record of everyone’s “birthdays”(some significant date in their lives if they don’t know their actual birthdate) and sends gifts.

-is an excellent speller and mathematician. He was trained early to keep the books and the plantation journal at Pointe du Lac. He has proof-read all of Lestat’s books, is the only one Lestat trusts to read his proofs without taking anything out, or changing anything. Has often been asked to check up on various mortal accountants retained by one or the other of us, to be certain that our investments are being handled wisely and honestly.

-usually pays little attention to his surroundings, allowing Lestat to decorate as he pleases when they are together, and doing nothing when he is alone, but enjoys the traditional holidays very much and loves to drape the entire house in greenery and ribbons and fruit for Christmas, as was done when he was a child at Pointe du Lac. Lestat loves to counteract this by buying the brightest, cheapest tackiest decorations ( huge plastic lighted Santa with reindeer for the roof, brightly colored elves everywhere, Fake-snow-in-a-can on the windows, lights that play Christmas carols and blink in time to the music, welcome mat that says “Ho Ho Ho” when stepped on, silver icicles strewn everywhere, mistletoe in every doorway, all kinds of automatons, such as are usually seen in store windows - Santas, Little Drummer Boys, Elves working, Christmas trees that fall over, ect. Shiny red and green garlands everywhere, and even one of those cardboard fireplaces, next to the real one) and putting them up before Louis wakes, or while Louis is out.

-loves candlelight. He often turns off the lights in his room and lights several candles instead. He has been lectured about the danger of this, but he persists in secret. When he is discovered he will blow them out and use electric light for a few nights. He has had his candles confiscated after setting off the smoke alarm.

-knows how to drive and usually has a car, but prefers motorcycles and nearly always has one. Says it is closer to horseback riding.

-when annoyed or irritated with Lestat will call him “Lestat Christophe Marie!”. No one knows if this was Lestat’s actual name. When asked, Gabrielle claims she doesn’t remember, Lestat claims that it was not, Louis made it up. Louis will say only, “It is Lestat’s name.”

-often disappears without warning. For instance, once, in 1990 when he was living with Lestat, he was sitting on the floor, watching a video in the living room, Lestat was in a chair behind him. Louis got up, turned to Lestat and said, “I’ll be back.” Went into the kitchen, apparently out the window and was gone for three weeks. Lestat has threatened to put his face on a milk carton.

-according to Talamasca files, the name on Louis’ baptismal certificate was “Louis Michel Rene Antoine”.

-loves to gamble. He generally stays away from casinos, but has cleaned every one of us out during card games. Always has a bet going somewhere. His nicknames among us are “Lucky” and “Ace” (we can’t all call him “Beautiful One”). Loves to play Pool or Billiards. Has been known to hustle other players.

-is still somewhat claustrophobic and suffers from vivid nightmares often.

-loves film and video. Avoids quoting them very much, but can identify nearly any quote that is put to him.

-adores video games, although he owns none himself. Becomes immersed in them for hours and loses all track of time. Has had to be literally dragged to safety at dawn.

-is the most avid and interested listener of all the vampires. Will sit for hours and listen to Maharet, Khayman or any of the others describe their lives as mortals or vampires. Has asked Daniel to tell him of all of the other stories he had collected before they met. Loves to listen to David’s adventures.

-has very refined manners. Still stands when a lady enters a room, opens doors, pulls out chairs, sends thank you notes, etc.

-is a very graceful dancer. Had lessons as a child.

-periodically puts great sums of money in church poor boxes.

-often uses the French pronunciation of our names, such as, Davide, Erique, Danielle.

-can discuss philosophy and religion at length.

-draws and paints but doesn’t want anyone else to ever see his work. He often burns it once it is completed. Lestat has stolen some of the sketches while Louis was out hunting, and he says they are quite good.

-loves jigsaw puzzles and board games, especially chess.

-was a cat person in his mortal life, and was always making pets of the cats at Pointe du Lac. Now however, he avoids pets mostly, but since he has had Mojo foisted upon him, takes very good care of him, and I believe, loves him very much. Mojo has formed a very close attachment to Louis, taking any opportunity to lay on his lap. If Lestat is gone, Mojo will follow Louis and never leave his side. Is somewhat opposed to all the picture taking, but only as much as to say, “Lestat, leave poor Mojo alone.” Speaks to Mojo in French, claims that Mojo is bilingual.

-hates to shop for himself, but will shop for nights and nights to find just the right gift for Lestat.

-has no particular attachment to his hair, if not with Lestat, will cut it very short as soon as he wakes, but does not burn it, because he believes the odor would attract attention. As a result, has garbage bags full of hair that he regularly disposes of. Lestat likes to take them and give them to wig-makers and doll makers. This distresses Louis, but he cannot quite explain why.

-knows much more about Voodoo than you would ever believe. Not that he practices it …as far as I know.

-still uses his real name as much as possible, though Lestat advises against it. As forms and registrations have evolved, has changed it to Louis DePointeDuLac, then Louis Depointdulac, now it is usually Louis Pointedulac, or if the name space is especially short, Louis Dulac. When Lestat does prevail in forcing him to use a pseudonym, always uses something as far from his own name as possible, which results in Louis’ mail and phone messages coming for : Giovanni Martelli, Ciaran O’Shea, Bobby Lee James, Alexei Andropov, Angel Martinez, Dmitri Stadopolous, Biff Weatherington, Ping Chang Lee, Casimir Pulaski, DaShawn Lincoln, Ingmar Thorvaldson, Kefentse Unika, Israel Goldberg or Trinity Lovechild Smith. Lestat gets great joy out of this, and if he happens to retrieve the mail, or take a phone call, will often call Louis by whatever pseudonym it came under, for the rest of the night.

-has never, ever gone underground. There are other unsaid explanations for his disappearances.

FINIS

THE END

[gentlethorns]

reader’s questionnaire

i was tagged by @ivy-the-africanprincess. thank you lovey!

1. which book has been on your shelves the longest? probably lisey’s story by stephen king. of course i read stuff before i started reading stephen king – stephen king would’ve been a little hardcore for, say, a second-grader – but most of those books are packed away in boxes, seeing as i have no intentions of rereading them.

2. what is your last read, what is your current read, and what is your next read? my last read was the great gatsby (it was school reading, but it was a good book). my current read is it by stephen king (this is the third time i’ve reread it). as for my next read, i’m not sure. i have a lot of dean koontz books i haven’t read yet. it’ll probably either be one of those, or i’ll reread the shining. (again.)

3. which books does everyone like that you hate? this is hard, because i have different reading tastes than most people around me, nor can i say i’ve ever really come across a book that i hate. i guess if i had to pick something, i’d say jane eyre – at certain points it was good, but the majority of the time it bored me to tears. the only reason i finished it was i had to read it for school.

4. which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t? maybe harry potter and the cursed child. i keep meaning to buy it, but i haven’t gotten around to it.

5. which book are you saving for retirement? hard to say – i’m too young to have planned that far, not to mention that in my planned career (an author), there isn’t necessarily a “retirement” – i’d just keep writing, continuously.

6. last page: read it first or wait til the end? wait til the end! what kind of maniac reads it first?? it could spoil everything!

7. acknowledgements: waste of ink and space or interesting aside? interesting aside. i always love seeing authors thank everybody – it’s cool to remember that authors can’t do everything on their own. if it takes a village to raise a child, then it also takes a village to write a book.

8. which book character would you trade places with? this is going to sound absurd and probably masochistic, but harry potter. he’s a wizard and that’s freaking awesome! and yes, i’m aware i could trade places with a side character and still be a wizard but without all the angst of being the boy (girl) who lived, but let’s face it, i love being in the spotlight. (not to mention harry got a lot of privileges that side characters didn’t, because harry was the chosen one. and yes, i’m perfectly willing to take on all the baggage harry had just for those privileges.)

9. do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life? (a person, a place, a time, etc.) it (the book i’m reading now) used to remind me of fall of last year, but i’ve reread it too many times. christine by stephen king also reminds me of fall of last year, to an extent. i’m sure that if i reread the alienist by caleb carr it would remind me of spring of this year (i’ve only read it once, and it’s a damn good book – i haven’t reread it yet bc i first read it in march or april and rereading it this soon is too soon). also, the tommyknockers by stephen king might remind me of december of 2014. AND harry potter and the order of the phoenix reminds me of december of 2015 – i used that book as an escape from the pain of my first breakup.

10. name a book you acquired in some interesting way. i actually have 27 dean koontz books that i acquired in an interesting way: i wrote a letter to dean koontz, and he replied with a handwritten letter and a box of books, all signed with personal inscriptions. of course, i don’t touch the books he sent me – they’re safe in storage, because knowing me, they’d get dirty and/or bent/folded if i read them. not because i don’t take care of my books, but because i take my books everywhere when i’m in the process of reading them, and that naturally results in a bit of wear and tear.

11. have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person? no. this sounds selfish, but i don’t give away my books – i barely lend them out, because they come to mean so much to me (and because i’m a compulsive rereader and never know when i’ll want to revisit an old favorite). i lent the talisman by stephen king and peter straub to my ex boyfriend once, because he’d been talking about how much he loved fantasy and the talisman popped into my mind because i thought it would be right up his alley – i don’t know if it was or not, because we broke up before he could get very far (he didn’t read much because he was working every day until nine or ten at night, and then he had homework on top of that). (he actually almost ended up keeping the book, but i did ask for it back, because it’s one of my favorites and because i’ve handwritten notes on the symbolism and thematic work in the storyline and didn’t want to lose my analyses.) that was one of two times i can remember loaning out a book – the other was to my best friend, because i’d been talking about the book and how good it was and i thought she just had to read it. (she loved it too, and now we’re waiting to save enough money to buy the rest of the series.)

12. which book has been with you to the most places? i’d say the shining. it’s been to my house, my grandmother’s house, various doctor’s appointments, arizona, school, and off-campus school events.

13. any required reading you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later? i can’t say yet, considering i’m still in high school. maybe when i’m twenty five jane eyre won’t seem so bad??

14. what is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book? the only unexpected thing i can ever remember finding in a book was a note that said something along the lines of “you have great taste in reading. enjoy the book! - your fellow reader”. it was in a copy of a tale of two cities that i’d checked out from a public library, because my english final was the next day and i hadn’t read half of the book. (irresponsible, i know, but our class discussions of it bored me and i had other things i wanted to do.) that note cheered me up a bit, so whoever they are, i hope good things happen to them.

15. used or brand-new? i don’t mind either way. brand new books are great, but not only are the expensive, they don’t stay brand new for long – again, that wear and tear from being toted around everywhere. but sometimes used books are written in, and i don’t like that.

16. stephen king: literary genius or opiate of the masses? *deep inhale* my time has come. i could talk for days … weeks … months … years about stephen king, but let’s leave it at this: he’s a fucking genius. i enjoy some of his books quite a bit more than others – the shining, i think, was his best work; it and christine are close followers, not to mention night shift, his book of short stories, or hearts in atlantis, or pet sematary, or ‘salem’s lot – but overall he’s a master. not only of horror, although that is his undeniable main attraction, but also of psychological thrills: all my favorite works by him (as i’ve named above: the shining, christine and it) have degrees of psychological horror at play, as opposed to only jumpscares. however, even his jumpscares are worth the $17.99 i pay for a brand new copy at barnes & nobles. (and his nonfiction work about writing, called on writing, is also a masterpiece.)

17. have you ever seen a movie you liked more than the book? so far, no. i’ve heard the movies for the maze runner series are better than the books, but i still haven’t gotten around to reading the maze runner series, so i’m not sure yet.

18. conversely, which book should never have been introduced to celluloid? dreamcatcher by stephen king. the film was obscure – something a tv station made, not any huge blockbuster; it didn’t even air in theatres – but they changed the ending completely, and the way they changed it completely changed the theme of the book (not to mention kind of demonized mentally disabled characters, but that’s my opinion). watching it left me both laughing at the ridiculousness and pissed off.

19. have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry (cookbooks excluded)? not that i remember, but i’m sure i have. i’m always hungry.

20. who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take? no one’s, really – i read my own interests and don’t often take others’ into account (not because i’m snobbish but because i actually forget to check out the stuff they recommend). the person whose book recommendations i’m most likely to take is probably my mother – she first introduced me to stephen king, and because she opened that door for me, i trust her judgment a lot. in fact, one of the reasons i haven’t read the dark tower series by him is because my mom said she could never properly get into it, so i think it might bore me as well. lately, though, i’ve been thinking about starting the series, just to see if i do like it.

i’m tagging: - @paintingsunny - @theeverwatchingtortoise - @the-bookler - @alixismad

[anythingstephenking]

Drive My Car

After months without turning a single page, I am crusin’! Man I am really on a roll! If you haven’t guessed yet, I am making car puns, as we dive (drive?) into Christine, the killer car story King promised his publishers would come after Different Seasons.

(Side note: while reading I make notes on my phone of pages to reference back to, cause only a real monster dog-ears pages. My notes on Christine read “crusin’…. on a roll… think of other car puns.” I didn’t.)

Although Wikipedia claims this book was published in ’82, it was actually released in ’83. Really letting me down Wikipedia. But happily I move into the next year of King books, and one step closer to catching them all like they were a buncha Pokemon.

This cover art is the tits. Also, the author’s photo on the back! Lastly, the inner cover with SK initialed in red and gold, like Gryffindor for serial killers.

This book has no preface or afterword, which is where I usually learn all my fun facts, so I did a bit more digging (nay, googling) for the backstory on this guy.

Well I couldn’t turn out much of interest. Sorry to disappoint. The story must have just appeared in King’s brain one day. I did love that the book was dedicated to George Romero. I have enjoyed learning all about King’s friendships, and imagine they all get together once a month in some kind of bizarro-minds-club, play cribbage and gripe about how everyone thinks they’re weirdos.

Posted without comment.

Each of the 51 chapters starts with a song lyric about cars. If you’ve ever listened to Car Talk, you know the list of songs about cars is long. I recognized the Bruce Springsteen ones. It was a throwaway device IMO, and just made me feel bad for the intern that had to work to get the rights to use 51 different song lyrics. King actually calls this out in a brief Author’s Note on the copyright page of my “Book Club” edition copy, thanking specific folks for helping him get the rights. OK, I guess I forgive you Stephen. Kisses.

On the surface, Christine is a story that is part killer car, part demon possession and part star-crossed lovers. I know, right? 

Christine tells the story of Arnie Cunningham and his car Christine. Annie is your run-of-the-mill nerd. He’s got bad skin and has never done anything his parents wouldn’t approve of. His best bud Dennis is decidedly a cooler cat - he plays football so that means he’s automatically elevated to a higher class.

One day Arnie sees Christine, sitting broken on the lawn of an equally broken house and decides he has to have her. Men (eyeroll). He buys her from the owner, Roland LeBay and off he goes to a local garage to fix her up.

Dennis is almost immediately unnerved by Christine. Rightfully so, since the car goes on to kill a bunch of people.

Then along comes Leigh Cabot, the new girl in school. All the guys have the hots for her, but she’s only got eyes for Arnie. For once, the pretty girl picks the nerd, and it doesn’t really go all that well for her. Pick the quarterback the next time honey.

So Arnie and Leigh are an item, and Leigh also hates Christine. No one can quite put their fingers on it, but a rotten smell runs through her interior and the radio seems stuck on the 50’s rock station. Dennis and Leigh are plagued by nightmares of Christine coming to life.

And suddenly the engine began to rev and fall off, rev and fall off; its a hungry sound, frightening, and each time the engine revs Christine seems to lunge forward a bit, like a mean dog on a weak leash… and I want to move… but my feet seem nailed to the cracked pavement of the driveway.

King takes his time to build the story up, as he so often does. Christine doesn’t claim her first victim until halfway through. Until then you’re stuck with this looming sense of dread, knowing terrible things are coming. Every time Christine’s headlights turned on by themselves I muttered “oh... no “ to myself.

It’s not enough that Christine comes to life and runs people over (even manages this feat on a guy who is inside his house), but Arnie begins to take on characteristics of the previous owner, Roland LeBay. Since Roland was a real grade-a asshole, this doesn’t sit well with his friend, girlfriend or family. He becomes more and more like LeBay, until there’s no nerd left. Watching Arnie fall apart is heartbreaking.

But past the surface, Christine is a story of the pains of growing up, which isn’t really a new theme for King, who came of age himself in the 50s. And so often with King’s stories of teenage agony, and even when the story takes place in 1978, the 50s are lurking.

Before Arnie’s demise, he makes off-handed comments about how his parents know that having kids remind them that they’re going to die. Pretty grim stuff.

And Dennis has this revelation while out in Christine for the first time:

I was surprised by a choking panic that climbed up in my throat like dry fire. It was the first time a feeling like that came over me that year - but not the last. Yet it’s hard for me to explain, or even define. It had something to do with realizing that it was August 11, 1978, that I was going to be a senior in high school next month, and that when school started again it meant the end of a long, quiet phase of my life. I was getting ready to be a grown-up, and I saw that somehow - saw it for sure, for the first time in that lovely but somehow ancient spill of golden light flooding the alleyway between a bowling alley and a roast beef joint. And I think I understood then that what really scares people about growing up is that you stop trying on the life-mask and start trying on another one. If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about learning how to die.

And these kids learn their lesson.

In some ways, Christine felt like a stronger coming of age tale than The Body. I was really rooting for these kids.

7/10

First line: This is the story of a lover’s triangle, I suppose you’d say - Arnie Cunningham, Leigh Cabot, and, of course, Christine.

Last line: His unending fury.

Added Bonus: King said in an interview about Christine getting killed and perhaps coming back to life (35 year old spoiler, sorry!): "All I can think of would be if the parts are recycled, you'd end up with this sort of homicidal Cuisinart, or something like that!” 

Hardy Har Har! I might not be scared of cars but I am now scared of my food processor.

Adaptations:

Christine The Movie was the quickest turn-around from page to screen of any King movie, which began filming just as the book was released. The producer was a friend of King’s, and signed on before the book was published. He had his pick between Christine and Cujo, and chose Christine because Cujo seemed “too silly.” For real bro? I mean, they’re both great stories but I would tend to think of a rabid dog as a more serious threat than a sentient car that love Buddy Holly songs and blood.

1983 was a busy year for King movies. I’ve lost track since I am reading the books chronologically but not watching the movies that way. I’ve already watched some spectacularly bad King movies, but at this point in 1983, the movie-going public had only seen Carrie, Salem’s Lot and The Shining. Given the popularity of 2/3 of these movies, I bet everyone in Hollywood wanted their hands on the rights to a King story.

In 1983 Cujo, The Dead Zone and Christine all hit the big screens in August, October and December, respectively. I don’t know for sure but if I had to guess, that was too much King.

So, if you expect a whole lot of a John Carpenter movie about a killer car, well then, that’s your own fault. This movie was a lot of fun. As with so many King movies, his storytelling and character building just doesn’t translate to the big screen. The screenwriters seemed to not even care to try, boiling the main characters down to stereotypes. Arnie rocks giant glasses with tape across the arch; Dennis wears his letterman jacket; Leigh’s got great legs. Christine rolls around killing people that cross Arnie. There’s little mention of LeBay or his backstory in creating (or at least encouraging) Christine.

Instead, there’s the film’s opening sequence to explain Christine’s origin, which I just adored. Christine’s rolling along the production line in Detroit, the sole red car in a sea of white. A line worker attempts to open her hood, and it promptly clasps down on his hand. All while George Thorogood’s Bad To The Bone plays. Just on the nose, great start.

Unlike the novel with its clear themes of friendship, first love and looming adulthood, this movie is about one thing and one thing only - a killer car. Which is really ok. John Carpenter does his best and there’s some suspenseful moments with Halloween-esque sound effects. Whenever someone is pissing Christine off she locks her doors and Little Richard starts singing from her stereo "Keep a knockin' but you can't come in.” Christine catches on fire and still manages to run someone down, setting him on fire in the process. I’m not much a fan of big action sequences, but knowing they used almost 30 cars to make this and everything was filmed sans CGI made me appreciate it more.

Before I go, quick notes on the cast. Kevin Bacon was set to play Dennis, but chose to do Footloose instead. Good call, past Kevin Bacon. So they cast this guy, who is basically a poor man Kevin Bacon.

Leigh is played by Alexandra Paul, who would go on to rock a rad red swimsuit on Baywatch. Kelly Preston has a small role, and would go on to play the role of a lifetime as John Travolta’s wife. Rounding out the supporting cast was Robert Proskey (who I remember as Mr. Lundy in Mrs. Doubtfire), and Harry Dean Stanton who has basically been in everything.

Next up is Pet Semetery, which is (Chris Trager voice) literally my favorite King. My goal is to get through It before the new movie comes out in September, which means I have six books to get through in 3 months. So (spooky voice) I’ll be right back!

[tanmath3-blog]

Tony Tremblay is the writer of numerous short stories that have been published in various horror anthologies, horror magazines, and webzines under his pen name, T T Zuma. Tremblay has also worked as a reviewer of horror fiction for Cemetery Dance Magazine and Horror World. In addition to his print work, Tremblay is the host of That Taco Society Presents, a cable T. V. show (also available on You Tube) that features discussions on horror as well as guest interviews with horror authors.

  Please welcome Tony Tremblay to Roadie Notes……………

    1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

My first story? I think I was around ten years old. It was called, Spiders Ate My Face. I guess the title says it all. Unfortunately, its reception was not all that welcomed in my family, and it has been lost to history. I wrote my first published story when I was 52 years old. After the terrible reviews of Spiders Ate My Face, it took me 42 years to gain enough confidence to write again.

    2. How many books have you written?

I’ve published two full-length books, The Seeds of Nightmares, and The Moore House. There is also a long novella I wrote called Steel, which was published two years ago.

I do have what’s called a trunk novel stored away because I’m not happy with it, but I do plan on revisiting it as soon as I’ve finished the novel I am working on now. I will have another short story collection out in the start of 2019 with Crossroad Press, and a new novella out with John McIlveen’s Haverhill House Publishing sometime in 2019.

    3. Anything you won’t write about?

Vampires, werewolves, most tropes really. To be honest with you, I’m not sure I could add anything to those subjects that hasn’t been done already. Having said that, I did write two zombie themed short stories, but both had twists that I thought brought something different to the trope.

I also tend to avoid detailed sex scenes in my stories and novels. When reading horror tales, I tend to find them unimaginative  and often boring. I usually skim through them or jump down a few paragraphs or pages until it’s over. Talking to other readers, I know I’m not alone in my disinterest. That doesn’t mean I avoid sex in my work. I prefer to leave enough description so the reader can use their imaginations when reading the scene. There are horror authors that can pulloff explicit sex scenes really well, and they can be erotic as hell. Graham Masterton and Ray Garton are two good examples of authors that can jumpstart hormones into drive.

    4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I do have a full-time job, but I plan on retiring from it on March 1st. I’ve spent 32 years there, commuting 90 minutes each way. It’s time for me to kick back and enjoy my life, my family, and my friends. Let’s see, I want to get this right…I’ve been married to the same woman for over 40 years (I think that covers me), and we have one son and one daughter. I also have grandkids popping out all over the place, which gives me further incentive to retire.

  5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

My published books are so different from each other, it would be hard to pick one over the other. The Seeds of Nightmares is more literary than not, and occasionally when I have to revisit those stories for a reading, I can’t believe I wrote them. For most of those stories, I was searching for my voice so I experimented with narration and tone. I looked to my horror author hero’s for inspiration. When I read them now, I can see which author influenced me at the time. I am proud of each of those stories. The reviews, the charting, and the feedback I continue to receive from The Seeds of Nightmares is affirming as hell.

With Steel, I wanted to write something that bridged the gap between literary and action oriented fiction. I was pleased with the results, but the lack of reader feedback had me questioning whether I had succeeded.

The Moore House was my attempt to go balls-out on a fast-paced, page-turning novel. I wanted to write a story that shot out of the gate and kept readers glued to the page throughout the story. I kept exposition to a minimum, removed all tangents to the plot, and gave the characters depth without over sentimentalizing them. I wanted the prose to be lean and the tension constant. My publisher, John McIlveen approved, but he had one suggestion, which I followed on the subsequent re-writes. His advice? Go all the way—make it scarier wherever I could. His advice proved to be spot on, and I admit to having a ton of fun reaching into places I had never gone to before. The feedback on The Moore House has been phenomenal, and it appears that I’ve succeeded in my goals for the book.

After all that, I’ll go with convention and say that the last book I have written is my favorite, which would be The Moore House.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

I’ve wanted to write since I was a young boy, but I think it was Stephen King’s work that pushed me to get serious about it.

    7. What do you like to do for fun?

When I see strangers on the street, I walk up to them and ask them if they know where Black Brook Road is. When they say no, I give them directions to it.

    8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?​

I’ll pour myself a nice glass of good scotch, which may or may not be followed by dancingnaked in my den while blasting Neil Young out of the speakers. My wife wishes I would quit writing whenever this happens.

  9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

As mentioned, I have a den and I do all of my writing there. It has to be absolutely quiet, no music, and no background noise.

    10. What is your dream? Famous writer?

My dream is to retire, and I’m almost there. I don’t aspire to be a famous writer, but I’d be happy if I am recognized in a book store though.

    11. Where do you live?

I live in Goffstown, N.H.  My hometown is featured in many of my stories, and The Moore House is set in Goffstown.

    12. Pets?

We have a cat, and I hope to get a dog once I retire.

    13. Where do you get your ideas?

Soul travel. At night when I sleep, I astral project into people’s dreams. If they are having a nightmare, it’s a gold mine.

14. Anything else you got going on you want to share?

Yes, thank you. Along with Scott Goudsward and John McIlveen, we are putting together a very informal convention for horror/genre authors and fans in Manchester, N.H. on Sept. 15th. It’s called NoCon, and I’ll leave the link here in case people are curious about it: http://wearenocon.com/ .

      Thanks for the interview, Rebecca! It was a lot of fun! If your readers want to learn more about me they can head over to my website at http://www.tonytremblayauthor.com/ 

  Some Of Tony Tremblay’s books:

          Getting personal with Tony Tremblay Tony Tremblay is the writer of numerous short stories that have been published in various horror anthologies, horror magazines, and webzines under his pen name, T T Zuma.

[jonsnowparent-blog]

A Stag and a Wolf in the Snow

“Opening your eyes is all that is needing. The heart lies and the head plays tricks with us, but the eyes see true. Look with your eyes. Hear with your ears. Taste with your mouth. Smell with your nose. Feel with your skin. Then comes the thinking, afterward, and in that way knowing the truth. Syrio Florel”

Syrio’s lesson to Arya is an important one to keep in mind when reading ASOIAF. It indicates how much of GRRM’s story focuses on observation and perception. What people see and why they see it determines what conclusion they draw. “We see the world not as it is, but as we wish it to be, or as we were conditioned to see it (Stephen Corey).”And we have been conditioned through fairy tales to see the spunky girl running off with the dashing and handsome prince.

As readers we sometimes ask ourselves the right questions  kind of i.e. ‘Why Ned hasn’t thought of Rheagar in years if he’s Jon’s father’ when the question should be “has Ned ever thought and or talked about anyone in particular to Jon?” And moreover, how has GRRM constructed the narrative to convey this if it’s there? It’s a good question because deep down we know it’s unrealistic that Ned would be able to keep Jon’s father out of his thoughts let alone FOR YEARS. That’s why we asked the question in the first place and knowing that we the readers aren’t clairvoyant absent Weirnet and glass candles, GRRM gives us the answers to the questions that we will be prone to ask in the text. So what is the answer?

“The king was a great disappointment to Jon. His father had talked of him often: the peerless Robert Baratheon, demon of the Trident, the fiercest warrior of the realm, a giant among princes.”

IMO GRRM intentionally chooses who to give us certain info via for a reason using dialogue and visual. Jon, is the only one of the Stark kids whom Ned talked of Robert to and quite a bit that’s a given. We also see a contrast in the “story” content the author chooses to show us of Ned’s “fireside musings”. For instance, the stories that Bran calls to mind, is intimately connected to his future arch.

“He seemed not at all the man who would sit before the fire in the evening and talk softly of the age of heroes and the children of the forest (Bran 1).”

This is not to say it was the only story Ned told Bran or that Bran was alone when he told it, but it’s what the author chose to have Bran alone convey. Likewise, Jon tells of Ned speaking about Robert to him and as we continue reading, one realizes a lot of info dumps about Robert occurs in Jon’s chapters, more than any other prospect ,and together they are mentioned in other POVs together a fair amount of time.The purpose it seems unknowing to characters but plot wise is to give insight about Robert to Jon. We start with what Ned tells him, what he perceives and what others are  telling him how Robert was, is and how he’s changed. Ned, it seems, unable to tell the truth did the next best thing. He told of Robert’s exploits to Jon, talking Robert up above everyone one else, ALL PRINCES. This is not a father telling a son of his exploits,but a best friend telling a son about his father.We also get Jon speaking to Benjen about Ned taking Robert to the crypts. So the author establishes Jon’s familiarity of a connection between Robert and Lyanna which is important on an upcoming personal level. Robert is not far removed from Jon. He’s better positioned to be identifiable to Jon as much as Rhaegar is far removed from him, but connected and identifiable to Dany for example.

So, you may have guessed by now that this theory postulates that Robert and Lyanna were Jon’s parents.

              Where misconceptions begin and should end.

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” Lyanna had told him at Winterfell, on the night long ago when their father had promised her hand to the young Lord of Storm’s End. “<snip>, but he assured her that what Robert did before their betrothal was of no matter, that he was a good man and true who would love her with all his heart. Lyanna had only smiled. “Love is sweet, dearest Ned, but it cannot change a man’s nature.”--GoT, pg. 379.

We could all agree that the above quote indicates that Lyanna had concerns about Bob’s ability to be faithful regardless of love. Noteworthy though is her familiarity with him, for she addresses him not as “Robert Baratheon” but “Robert” so he was no stranger to her. We should also note when the timing of this conversation took place; which was the night Lyanna found out she was to wed Robert. So consider, Robert and Lyanna knew each other prior to the arrangement and additionally, they were betrothed for a while before Lya “went missing.”

The WB pg.127 indicated that Robert and Lyanna had been “long” betrothed so there was time enough for this concern about Robert’s fidelity to be proven, or not. And two things need to happen for that. This definitive notion that Lyanna didn’t want the marriage is incorrect. There is nothing that shows this, nor did she express this.GRRM has showed us a repeated pattern of characters saying they don’t want a marriage. Sansa; Dany,Brandon,Alys and this is not just internally saying it, but actually saying it to someone. It was no biggie having them voice their feelings on if they wanted their intended or not. Yet, Lyanna said nothing about not wanting the marriage.

                                       The politics of marriage

GRRM has showed us outcomes of several arranged marriages in this series. E.g. Cat and Ned grew to love each other, when initially they didn’t. Dany and Drogo grew in love. Then we have Robert and Cersei, who were disastrous. No matter the outcome, all of these couples hooked up to secure alliances. It was expected of them and they understood the stakes involved. From the main text and the World book, we know alliances were being made via marriages, of which BraCat ,JoLys RoLya were pairings; a power block on the rise.

"The day I learned that Brandon was to marry Catelyn Tully, though ... there was nothing sweet about that pain. He never wanted her, I promise you that. He told me so, on our last night together ... but Rickard Stark had great ambitions too. Southern ambitions <snip> ADWD Chpt 38.

I would like to point out that Brandon despite how he felt about Barb was going to marry Cat. Like him Lyanna would know how important this alliance was to her family and her place in securing it as she was taught

The take away from this: Duty to family, and if you’re lucky you just might grow in love. All this brings me to these two quotes from GRRM.

“And then there are some things that just don’t square with history. In some sense I’m trying to respond to that. [For example] the arranged marriage, which you see constantly in the historical fiction and television show, almost always when there’s an arranged marriage, the girl doesn’t want it and rejects it and she runs off with  the stable boy instead. This never fucking happened. It just didn’t. There were thousands, tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of arranged marriages in the nobility through the thousand years of Middle Ages and people went through with them. That’s how you did it. It wasn’t questioned. Yeah, occasionally you would want someone else, but you wouldn’t run off with the stable boy………”

“And that’s another of my pet peeves about fantasies. The bad authors adopt the class structures of the middle Ages<snip>they have scenes where the spunky peasant girl tells off the pretty prince. The pretty prince would have raped the spunky peasant girl. He would have put her in the stocks and then had garbage thrown at her. You know. I mean, the class structures in places like this had teeth. They had consequences. And people were brought up from their childhood to know their place and to know that duties of their class and the privileges of their class. It was always a source of friction when someone got outside of that thing. And I tried to reflect that.”

GRRM has raised an important issue here about class structure and expectations of those who live in it. He occasionally likes to play with perception and norms. In this case Lyanna is the stable boy and the peasant girl. She is nobility yes, royalty no. Additionally, the below quotes give no indication from Robert and Ned that Lyanna and Robert weren’t going to get married had she not died. Meaning Ned’s internal thought and even Robert’s words didn’t betray that they though she did anything that would hinder that.

Robert had loved her even more. She was to have been his bride. (AGOT,Ned).

“We were meant to rule together. If Lyanna had lived, we should have been brothers, bound by blood.”

Sum: Given GRRM’s quotes, along with the social, political and emotional stakes and ideologies involved in the era he created it’s unlikely that Lya bolted from her betrothal to Robert for Rhaegar. And it’s just as unlikely that Rhaegar ran off with her.Also,there is something to Ned’s statement that Robert loved Lyanna even more than he did. What is the basis for Ned saying that? How does he know the extent of Robert’s love for his sister? Think about it.Your reading this and your in a relationship would you just saying that you love your spouse etc be enough to convince your significant others family that love is there? No they would have to observe,see how you treat their loved one. Robert and Lyanna’s relationship had to be one where Ned could make such a statement. Which brings me to point raised over and over that Lyanna and Robert had nothing in common and so she would find Rhaegar more suitable. 

                                         A perfect match

One of the reasons Robert is dismissed as being Jon’s father is the image of Robert as this drunk, fat womanizer. Lyanna could never love him “for who could ever love a beast.” People forget that Robert, miles from ever having been perfect was a far cry from the man he’d become.

“I remember Robert as he was the day he took the throne, every inch a king," he said quietly. "A thousand other women might have loved him with all their hearts. What did he do to make you hate him so?"

“Sweet one,” her father said gently, “listen to me. When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord whose worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong.

Note: The man Ned is describing as the perfect match for Sansa has Robert’s qualities.

I would like to point out Robert was a catch, to quote Ned “muscled like a maiden’s fantasy “given his qualities and if fidelity wasn’t an issue during their betrothal and it wasn’t, sparks would fly.

About Lyanna:

"'You have a wildness in you, child. ‘The wolf blood,' my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave. "Ned to Arya (I 215).

“The crowning of the Stark girl who by all accounts was a wild and boyish thing…… (WB, pg137).

“He [Brandon] loved to ride. His little sister took after him in that. A pair of centaurs, those two. ADWD chpt 38.

“That evening there was to be a feast in Harrenhal, to mark the opening of the tourney, and the she-wolf insisted that the lad attend. He was of high birth, with as much a right to a place on the bench as any other man. She was not easy to refuse…..”

About Robert:

“He (Ned) was no Jon Arryn, to curb the wildness of his king and teach him wisdom. Robert would do what he pleased, as he always had, and nothing Ned could say or do would change that (AGOT,Ned.Chp 12).”

“He’s only a boy,” Ned said awkwardly. He had small liking for Prince Joffrey, but he could hear the pain in Robert’s voice. “Have you forgotten how wild you were at his age?” Agot Ned.”

“I am heartily sick of secrets and squabbles and matters of state, Ned. It's all as tedious as counting coppers. Come, let's ride, you used to know how. I want to feel the wind in my hair again." He kicked his horse back into motion and galloped up over the barrow, raining earth down behind him (AGOT,Ned Chpt 12).

“Gods," he swore, laughing, “It feels good to get out and ride the way a man was meant to ride! I swear, Ned, this creeping along is enough to drive a man mad." He had never been a patient man, Robert Baratheon AGOT,Ned,chpt 12).”

“His leg was throbbing so badly he was almost blind with pain. Or perhaps it was grief that fogged his eyes. He lowered himself to the bed, beside his friend. “Why do you always have to be so headstrong? agot?”

I find it strange the argument that Lyanna who had strong feelings about what Robert might do would go with a guy who definitely proved he would cheat for Rhaegar was a married man with two kids.

         Clues to an intimate relationship between Robert and Lyanna  

 Robert and Ned wouldn’t be dead for a while, so we get first hand/ inside info regarding anything that was said and/or done Including Lyanna’s words regarding Robert.

1.       Lyanna had only been sixteen, a child-woman of surpassing loveliness. Ned had loved her with all hisheart.Robert had loved her even more. She was to have been his bride. (AGOT,Ned).

2.       “He’s still in love with the sister, the insipid little dead sixteen year old.”  How long till he decides to put me aside for some new Lyanna AGOT, Bran, Pg.83……Snap

3.       "We both know your wedding was a mummer's farce. A year ago you were scheming to make the girl one of Robert's whores.""A year ago I was scheming to make the girl Robert's queen,"

4.       Renly had seemed anxious to know if the girl reminded him of anyone, and when Ned had no answer but a shrug, he had seemed disappointed. The maid was Loras Tyrell's sister Margaery, he'd confessed, but there were those who said she looked like Lyanna. "No," Ned had told him, bemused.”

Actual information directly attesting to Robert’s feelings for Lyanna and it gets better as we proceed.

         “The gods be damned. It was a hollow victory they gave me. A crown ... it was the girl I prayed them for. Your sister, safe ... and mine again, as she was meant to be.”

Pay attention to how Robert refers to getting Lya back safe “mine again” The idea of “mine” comes up a couple of times in this series and is one of endearment that speaks of emotional and or physical intimacy i.e.

“She pushed him back against the trunk of a tree and kissed him, full on the lips right there in the midst of the ragged column. <Snip>. He kissed her back despite all that. When they finally broke apart, Ygritte was flushed. "You're mine," she whispered. "Mine, as I'm yours.”

“He is mine.” She rose to her feet. “They all tried to take him from me. My lord father, my husband, your mother…Catelyn most of all. She liked to kiss my Petyr too, oh yes she did (asos,Sansa).

So we move from the inside information of intimates and see what else can be gleaned from the other quotes below to answer an important question. Was this one-sided or not?

1.       “She was more beautiful than that,” the king said after a silence. His eyes lingered on Lyanna’s face, as if he could will her back to life. <Snip> “Ah, damn it, Ned, did you have to bury her in a place like this?” His voice was hoarse with remembered grief.”<Snip>. “The king touched her cheek, his fingers brushing across the rough stone as gently as if it were living flesh.”

It also explains the behavior exhibited by Robert toward the statue told to us from the POV of Ned. These quotes show something that is not seen by any other prospect no matter much you go through the text……physical and emotional INTIMACY.

         2. “And Cersei... I have Jon Arryn to thank for her. I had no wish to marry after Lyanna was taken from me, but Jon said the realm needed an heir.”

         3. “Her {Cersei’s} eyes burned, green fire in the dusk, <snip>. “The night of our wedding feast, the first time we shared a bed, he called me by your sister’s name. He was on top of me, in me, stinking of wine, and he whispered Lyanna.”Ned thought of pale blue roses, and for a moment he wanted to weep.—Ned,GoT, pg. 480.------

This quote given to us by Cersie is very telling. Robert could be grieving for the physically unrealized when it comes to Lyanna, which is the weakest of the arguments given the context of the quotes, or he could have been reenacting what he did with Lyanna by calling out her name in bed too drunk to realize it wasn’t her.

Let’s now look at another quote and objectively see what is underneath.

“Oh, Cersei is lovely to look at, truly, but cold . . . the way she guards her cunt, you'd think she had all the gold of Casterly Rock between her legs."

Robert seems taken aback by Cersie withholding pussy. Robert’s reaction to that reveals that Cersie might be the only woman to reject him, which in itself is a hint that Lyanna “didn’t guard her cunt from Robert” which brings us to the only statement made by Lyanna about Robert.

“Robert will never keep to one bed,” It’s something that got overlooked the moment Lya uttered those famous words. From her statement comes the realization, that “Keeping to one bed” doesn’t have a start date.Ned assured Lyanna that what Robert did before their betrothal was no consequence,so this doesn’t mean after they were married.Sure its what socially expected,but people in Westeros seldom kept this expectation.

What are the odds that during their entire betrothal Robert never made the move? Given Robert’s libido slim and again “Keeping to one bed” means whenever they decide to be intimate. Lyanna would have to be ok with being with Robert whenever it happened for him to have one bed to possibly keep to or not.

                   The Coat of Arms worth a thousand words.

Remember I brought up paying attention to who GRRM chooses to convey info verbally or visually via? Let’s look at, IMO a set up and reveal by the author that begins in you guessed it …An Arya and Jon conversation. Keep in mind their conversation and the TKOTLT story. I believe others have put forth strong evidence that Lya was TKOTLT. But this reveals her heart.

“Perhaps you should wed Tully to Stark in your arms. A wolf with a fish in its mouth “That made her laugh. “Besides if a girl can’t fight why should she have a coat of arms?” Jon to Arya---Agot.

“he did not often speak of his father, or of the brother and sister who had died before she was born. “Lyanna might have carried a sword, if my lord father had allowed it. You remind me of her sometimes. You even look like her.”

But then they heard a roar. 'That's my father's man you're kicking,' howled the she-wolf."

"A wolf on four legs, or two?”. “Two," said Meera. "The she-wolf laid into the squires with a tourney sword, scattering them all.

“But the mystery knight was short of stature, and clad in ill-fitting armor made up of bits and pieces. The device upon his shield was a heart tree of the old gods, a white weirwood with a laughing red face (asos,Bran).”

“He (Robert) laughed uproariously, and even Ned smiled, remembering. This was the boy he had grown up with, he thought; this was the Robert Baratheon he'd known and loved.”

“Gods," he swore, laughing, “It feels good to get out and ride the way a man was meant to ride! (AGOT,Ned Chpt 12).”

“Robert ... He is in my dreams as well. Laughing. Drinking. Boasting. Those were the things he was best at. Those, and fighting. (Stannis about Robert).

“He heard his laughter in the dark, saw his eyes, blue and clear as mountain lakes. “Look at us, Ned," Robert said. "Gods, how did we come to this?"Agot,Ned ,Chpt 58.

“Is that any way to speak to your King? He let go, his laughter sudden as a storm. ”Ah danm you Ned….”

“Robert succeeded him as Lord of Storm’s End and grew to be one of the finest Knight’s in the Seven Kingdom………-a warrior so strong and fearless that many hailed him the Laughing Storm reborn WB,pg,230.

“The weirwood was the heart of Winterfell, Lord Eddard always said ... but to save the castle Jon would have to tear that heart up by its ancient roots,<snip> ASOS,Jon.

“I was with her when she died,” Ned reminded the king. “She wanted to come home, to rest beside Brandon and Father (AGOT, Ned, pg.43).

Sum: Lyanna wed what was well known and loved about Robert (his laughter) to what signified home (Weirwood heart tree) on her shield. As we peel back the onion the picture emerges of two people who had history and a lot in common joined together for politics and despite the bride’s concern and the groom’s past they developed a mutually physical and emotional relationship. Love.

   Mythic parallel and theme: Connections Robert, Lyanna and Jon.

So now that a connection between Robert and Lyanna has been made is there a unification of all three?

"The way the world is made. The truth is all around you, plain to behold. The night is dark and full of terrors, the day bright and beautiful and full of hope. One is black, the other white. There is ice and there is fire. Hate and love. Bitter and sweet. Male and female. Pain and pleasure. Winter and summer. Evil and good." She took a step toward him. "Death and life. Everywhere, opposites. Everywhere, the war……. "The war, “she affirmed……

“There is two onion Knight Not seven, not one, not a hundred or a thousand. Two. The war has been waged since time began …………The war has been waged since time began,…(ASOS,Davos Chpt 25)."  

GRRM incorporated several world mythologies in his story and some of these myths overlap in the lives of some of the characters but sometimes we get a gem that is very unique to certain characters and events. One such myth has very strong allusions that Jon’s parents are Robert and Lyanna.

We look toward a ritual that was recreated by the author at Harrenhal. In many pagan traditions, Beltane the third holiday on the “wheel of the year” is a major fertility feast heralding spring. Certain characters in this story were acting out or have acted out the Wheel of the Year as it relates to a very important ritual called “The grand rite” aka “the sacred marriage”. Central to the Beltane ritual are two figures. The Horned god, a solar god whose dual aspect Oak and Holly king rules summer and winter respectively. In some traditions he is one person with two parts to his nature. He dies and is born again with the help of the goddess to continue the cycle.

The Players and how they line up        

                                                      Horned god: “He found himself thinking of Robert more and more. <Snip> tall and handsome, his great antlered helm on his head, his Warhammer in hand, sitting his horse like a horned god. Agot,Ned,Chpt 58.”

“Robert? Robert was hunting. That was his custom. Whenever my time was near, my royal husband would flee to the trees with his huntsmen and hounds. When he returned he would present me with some pelts or a stag’s head, and I would present him with a baby.”

“He laughed and slapped his own ample stomach a thump. “And the girls, Ned!” he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling.”

Here George has given us the imagery of Robert as the horned god but as his dual aspect the Oak warrior and Holly king from which Santa Claus emerged the jolly plump man with sparkling eyes.

The goddess: “The slim, sad girl who wore a crown of pale blue roses and a white gown spattered with gore could only be Lyanna. ACOK Theon.

“”Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him.”Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood.

The maiden crowned with a halo of flowers is the typical imagery for the goddess at Beltane and this is what Lyanna represents.

A Wicker Man: “Seventeen and new to knighthood, Rhaegar Targaryen had worn black plate over golden ring mail when he cantered onto the lists. Long streamers of red and gold and orange silk had floated behind his helm, like flames. AFFC,Cersie.

“The crown prince wore the armor he would die in: gleaming black plate with the three-headed dragon of his House wrought in rubies on the breast. A plume of scarlet silk streamed behind him when he rode, and it seemed no lance could touch him”

The Wicker man though a product of modern paganism in a ritualistic context is the working of sympathetic magic. The purpose is to change what the effigy represents and hinder its power. Both Rhaegar and Aerys would fit the Wicker man archetype.

The great rite: “There’s nothing like a tourney to make the blood run hot, so maybe some words were whispered in a tent of a night, words or kisses maybe more, but where’s the harm in that Spring had come-Harwin to Arya-(ASOS,Arya)

"Under Harren's roof he ate and drank with the wolves, and many of their sworn swords besides, barrowdown men and moose and bears and mermen. The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle, but when her pup brother teased her for crying she poured wine over his head. A black brother spoke, asking the knights to join the Night's Watch. The storm lord drank down the knight of skulls and kisses in a wine-cup war. (Meera Reed).

Good times, good wine, ceremony, pageantry and sex.

Jon Snow     thou art the babe!!

“Jon remained standing. “It’s my father, isn’t it?” The Old Bear tapped the letter with a finger. “Your father and the king,” he rumbled.”

Going back to “Beltane at Harrenhal.”Based on the roles GRRM has placed everyone in, Lyanna and Robert did have a son that continues in the same arch of the horned gods Oak and Holly King archetype Ned’s chapter when Robert dies and Jon chapter when he gets the news flows directly into after each other.

“This is not Winterfell', he told him as he cut his meat with fork and dagger. ‘On the Wall, a man gets only what he earns. You're no ranger, Jon, only a green boy with the smell of summer still on you.”

The king still wore his boots. Ned could see dried mud and blades of grass clinging to the leather where Robert’s feet stuck out beneath the blanket that covered him a green doublet lay on the floor, slashed open and discarded, the cloth crusted with red-brown stains. The room smelled of smoke and blood and death.

“He would play the game to its conclusion. He rose and dressed in darkness, as Mormont's raven muttered across the room. "Corn,” the bird said, and, "King, “and, "Snow, Jon Snow, Jon Snow.” That was queer. The bird had never said his full name before, as best Jon could recall.

In addition to the mythical connection between Jon Lya and Robert, let’s look at another visual by GRRM.

“Tell him that when you see him, milord, as it. . . as it please you (meaning the choice was Ned’s to tell the king about Barra).Tell him how beautiful she is.”

“I will,” Ned had promised her. That was his curse. Robert would swear undying love and forget them before evenfall, but Ned Stark kept his vows. He thought of the promises he’d made Lyanna as she lay dying, and the price he’d paid to keep them.<snip>She had smiled then, a smile so tremulous and sweet that it cut the heart out of him. Riding through the rainy night, Ned saw Jon Snow’s face in front of him, so like a younger version of his own. If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts? “Lord Baelish, what do you know of Robert’s bastards?”

“Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister’s eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then…”(GOT,Ned 1).

So follow me: A young girl mirroring Lya holding Robert’s bastard extracting a promise from Ned. It couldn’t be more beautiful laid than this.

Parallels and connections Jon and Robert

Echoes and parallels between comparative subjects are best made with similar experiences and choices that are actually present vs what we think may have happened and there are a lot of comparative echoes of Robert and Jon’s experiences and nature.

”He swallowed nervously and said, “Jon, could there be honor in a lie, if it were told for a … a good purpose?”

“It would depend on the lie and the purpose, I suppose.” Jon looked at Sam. “I wouldn’t advise it. You’re not made to lie, Sam.”----Jon Snow to Sam Tarly

“Robert slapped Ned on the back.”Ah, say that I'm a better king than Aerys and be done with it. You never could lie for love nor honor, Ned Stark. -----Robert Baratheon to Ned Stark

-          Here we have Jon and Robert speaking to their best friends on honor, lies and how seemingly horrible they are at lying. We know that Ned and Sam kept something from their pals.

“We all know what my brother would do. Robert would gallop up to the gates of Winterfell alone, break them with his Warhammer, and ride through the rubble to slay Roose Bolton with his left hand and the Bastard with his right…..”

“This creature who makes cloaks from the skins of women has sworn to cut my heart out, and I mean to make him answer for those words <snip>.“The Night’s Watch will make for Hardhome. I ride to Winterfell alone…….. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard.”

-          Well what Robert would have done, is what Jon was on his way to doing before he got shanked.

"I will kill every Targaryen I can get my hands on, until they are as dead as their dragons, and then I will piss on their graves."

” Jon took the letter back. “Why would he help us now? <Snip> “Well,” said Sam, “That would bring scorn down upon House Lannister.” “It’s death and destruction I want to bring down upon House Lannister, not scorn.” Jon lifted up the letter. (Jon to Sam affc.)

-          Robert and Jon emotionally go too far their thoughts of revenge aren’t singular.

“It was the king's voice that put an end to it . . . the king's voice and twenty swords. Jon Arryn had told them that a commander needs a good battlefield voice, and Robert had proved the truth of that on the Trident. He used that voice now. "STOP THIS MADNESS," he boomed, "IN THE NAME OF YOUR KING!"

“He has a lord’s voice, Jon thought. His father had always said that in battle a captain’s lungs were as important as his sword arm. “It does not matter how brave or brilliant a man is, if his commands cannot be heard,”

“The wall will stop them," Jon heard himself say. He turned and said it again louder. "The wall will stop them. <snip> they cannot pass. THEY CANNOT PASS!"

-          Linked by the use of the same lessons thought by Arryn and execution that’s commanding.

“there was no one to stop Jon drinking as much as he had a thirst for to the raucous delight of the youths around him, who urged him on every time he drained a glass. They were fine company, and Jon relished the stories they were telling, tales of battle and bedding and the hunt.”

“After all had been seated, toasts were made, thanks were given and returned, and then the feasting began. Jon had started drinking then, and he had not stopped.”

“He said little, looking out over the hall with hooded eyes, seeing nothing. Two seats away, the king had been drinking heavily all night. His broad face was flushed behind his great black beard. He made many a toast, laughed loudly at every jest, and attacked each dish like a starving man,”(agat,Jon 1).

-          This is a bit of visual parallelism going on here and some mirroring with Jon making an observation about Robert’s state and actions while being in said state and doing the same thing himself.

“I’ve watched you fight. It’s not training with you. Put a good edge on your sword, and they’d be dead meat; you know it, I know it, they know it (Jon,AGOT).”    

“The song of steel on steel woke a hunger in Jon. It reminded him of warmer, simpler days, when he had been a boy at Winterfell matching blades with Robb….(Jon ADWD).”

“In the end Halder and Horse had to pull him away from Iron Emmett, one man on either arm. The ranger sat on the ground dazed, his shield half in splinters, the visor of his helm knocked askew, and his sword six yards away. "Jon, enough," Halder was shouting, "he's down, you disarmed him. Enough!"

He (Rhaegar) never liked the song of swords the way Robert did or Jamie Lannister Dany,acok)”

“Seven hells Ned I want to hit someone.”Robert to Ned Agot.

He remembered Brandon’s laughter, and Robert’s berserk valor in the melee, the way he laughed as he unhorsed men left and right.”

-          They both love the song of swords and have tendencies toward Berserker behavior.

                   Parallels and connections Jon and Lyanna

“Whoever Jon's mother had been, Ned must have loved her fiercely, for nothing Catelyn said would persuade him to send the boy away.”

“Lyanna had only been sixteen, a child-woman of surpassing loveliness. Ned had loved her with all his heart. Robert had loved her even more. She was to have been his bride.”

“They shoved him down every time he tried to rise, and kicked him when he curled up on the ground. But then they heard a roar. 'That's my father's man you're kicking,' howled the she-wolf."<Snip>"The she-wolf laid into the squires with a tourney sword, scattering them all.”

“………..Jon took a step forward…….”.Halder stop”. The Bastard wishes to defend his lady love, so we shall make an exercise of it. Rat, Pimple, help our Stone Head here.” Rast and Albett moved to join Halder. “Three of you ought to be sufficient to make Lady Piggy squeal. All you need do is get past the Bastard.” “Stay behind me,” Jon said to the fat boy.”

                                                   Why the secrecy if he’s Robert’s bastard?

“Still, she was struck again by how strangely men behaved when it came to their bastards. Ned had always been fiercely protective of Jon,….”

So what if he’s Robert’s bastard the man has several of them .Well, for any lord, lady, father, uncle ambitious for a daughter, niece to be Robert’s new bride Jon would be a threat if anyone knew including Robert because it is highly likely he would want him at court. In this case it would have been the Lannisters who would feel threatened if Jon were legitimized.

“Once, after that sorry business with the cat, he (Robert) had made some noises about bringing some baseborn daughter of his to court. “Do as you please," she'd told him, "but you may find that the city is not a healthy place for a growing girl.”(AFFC,Cersie).

“There was another bastard, a boy (Gendry), older. I took steps to see him removed from harm's way...but I confess, I never dreamed the babe would be at risk. A base born girl, less than a year old, with a whore for a mother, what threat could she pose?” "She was Robert’s that was enough for Cersei it would seem (Tyrion&Varys ACOK).

“Cersei could not have been pleased by her lord husband's by-blows, yet in the end it mattered little whether the king had one bastard or a hundred. Law and custom gave the baseborn few rights. Gendry,  the girl in the Vale, the boy at Storm's End, none of them could threaten Robert's trueborn children.”

“He gave Ned a sideways glance. “I’ve also heard whispers that Robert got a pair of twins on a serving wench at Casterly Rock, three years ago when he went west for Lord Tywin's tourney. Cersei had the babes killed, and sold the mother to a passing slaver. Too much an affront to Lannister pride, that close to home."

“He remembered the angry words they had exchanged when Tywin Lannister had presented Robert with the corpses of Rhaegar's wife and children as a token of fealty. Ned had named that murder; Robert called it war…………. You are no Tywin Lannister, to slaughter innocents."

“Your Robert got me with child once,” she said, her voice thick with contempt. “My brother found a woman to cleanse me .AGOT---Cersie to Ned.

“Catelyn Tully was a mouse, or she would have smothered this Jon Snow in his cradle. Instead, she's left the filthy task to me (AFFC Cersie).”

And the way the narrative works it’s still the Lannisters in the form of Cersie whose kids aren’t Robert’s.

In addition to possible physical harm we have to think about the stigma. Legitimized or not the stain of bastardry remains as well as the belief about them. Except this would be throughout the realm.

“The old High Septon told my father that king's laws are one thing, and the laws of the gods another. Trueborn children are made in a marriage bed and blessed by the Father and the Mother, but bastards are born of lust and weakness, he said. King Aegon decreed that his bastards were not bastards, but he could not change their nature. The High Septon said all bastards are born to betrayal”---Egg to Dunk.

“Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father he could as good a true son as Robb Stark.” ---Jon Snow.

“You know I cannot take him south. There will be no place for him at court. A boy with a bastard’s name . . . you know what they will say of him. He will be shunned (AGOT,Cat).

“If the gods frowned so on bastards, he thought dully, why did they fill men with such lusts? Ned.”

Sum: Jon’s life and emotional well-being would have been at risk if Robert or anyone knew.Robert would want him at court putting him in harm’s way and the stigma ascribed to him as a bastard would be worse at court. I think Lyanna’s promises did have to do with Jon though it was probably general i.e. “raise and protect my son as if he was your own. “But it was actually Ned who decided what what the fulfilment of that looked like

Timelines and nameday throwaways

We come to it, the seeming spoke in the wheel; the one thing when any prospect for Jon’s father is brought up they are immediately met with nope the timeline is wrong. The timeline for Jon’s birth is froth with the same errors of perception. Before I proceed, I think it’s important to look at this quote from GRRM as it in itself is a clue of which I will address later on in this section.

“The reason I am never specific about dates and distances is precisely so that people won't sit down and do this sort of thing. My suggestion would be to put away the ruler and the stopwatch, and just enjoy the story.—GRRM” www.westeros.org/Citadel/SSM/Entry/Chronology_and_Distances

Conventional thinking among the fandom puts Jon’s birth 1 month give or take of the sack of KL (Citadel);a premise that is  problematic when considering a few issues which I will discuss. I believe that Jon is actually older than he or we think he is, the narrative supports this.Two pieces of info is used to determine Jon’s birth we will start with Robert and Ned’s conversation.

“And yet there was that one time . . . what was her name, that common girl of yours? Becca? No, she was one of mine, <snip>. Yours was . . . Aleena? No. You told me once. Was it Merryl? You know the one I mean, your bastard's mother?"…… She must have been a rare wench if she could make Lord Eddard Stark forget his honor, even for an hour. You never told me what she looked like . . . "

“I dishonored myself and I dishonored Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men. “Gods have mercy, you scarcely knew Catelyn.""I had taken her to wife. She was carrying my child.”

First,Ned does what he always does when it comes to discussing Jon’s origins.He doesn’t validate what people think,or he shuts down the questioning pronto.Ned was believed to had a one time affair with a girl named Wylla and Robert assumes that one time event created Jon Snow.Ned acknowledges the affair and the affair only.He doesn’t acknowledge that Jon Snow’s mother was Wylla.

Catelyn Stark’s statements are also used to say when Jon was born,but there are problem’s with that to.

“He had a man's needs, after all, and they had spent that year apart, Ned off at war in the south while she remained safe in her father's castle at Riverrun. Her thoughts were more of Robb, the infant at her breast, than of the husband she scarcely knew……

Cat is saying that she found out about Jon in the first year of their marriage,not anything that says Jon was fathered in the first year of their marriage.This would make sense considering Ned’s habit of not saying anything.

“It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face. That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. “Never ask me about Jon,” he said, cold as ice. “He is my blood, and that is all you need to know.”

The only thing Ned ever told Cat about Jon was that Jon was his blood.So any info Cat knows was fruit of the rumor vine.But there’s no need to put words in Cat’s mouth we have what she believes in ACOK’s

“She found herself thinking of Jon's mother, that shadowy secret love her husband would never speak of. Does she grieve for Ned as I do? Or did she hate him for leaving her bed for mine? Does she pray for her son as I have prayed for mine?

If Cat believes this to be true,then she believes and knows that Jon is older than her son Robb. To add unto this there’s the story of the Fisherman’s daughter that puts Jon’s conception at the beginning of Robert’s rebellion.We also have Luuwin’s statement:

“Take me with you when you go back to the Wall,” Jon said in a sudden rush <snip>“I am almost a man grown,” Jon protested. “I will turn fifteen on my next name day, and Maester Luwin says bastards grow up faster than other children. “That’s true enough,” Benjen said with a downward twist of his mouth.”

“He’d heard it said that bastards grow up faster than other children; on the Wall, you grew up or you died.”

 Luuwin’s statement indicate there was talk of this at Winterfell people noticed despite who they treated as being older.It was simply explained away as “bastards just grow up faster.”

“He did more than that. The Starks were not like other men. Ned brought his bastard home with him, and called him "son" for all the north to see. When the wars were over at last, and Catelyn rode to Winterfell, Jon and his wet nurse had already taken up residence (agot,Cat.Chpt 6).”

Jon could have been  1.5 yrs when Cat showed up at Winterfell and it wouldn’t have been suspicious because we have prospects for Jon’s mother that people believe already .As long as none of them thinks Lyanna Jon and Ned’s secret is golden.Jon’s farce of an age was for Cat and Robb’s benefit basically to make Cat and Robb secure in their positions.Their is status in being the first son.That takes eyes off Jon if he’s seen as second son.

Lastly, there’s he author’s statement.

"All of which is a long winded way of saying, no, Jon was not born "more than 1 year" before Dany... probably closer to eight or nine months or thereabouts.”

“She had been born on Dragonstone nine moons after their flight, while a raging summer storm threatened to rip the island fastness apart. They said that storm was terrible.”

First remember GRRM himself has made Jon’s parentage a secret. Putting clues in the series, his 98 letter and his tight lipped interviews on the matter. So in light of the preceding, why would he seemingly give it away with this ssm? I don’t think he did because he knew the conclusion which was going to be drawn would be false and that’s because Dany wasn’t born when she thought. I’ve talked about before and we will talk about it again but my belief is based on Dany’s belief compared to:

1. Jamie’s account of the Dragonstone departure.

2. Visery’s account of fleeing to Dragonstone.

3. Dany’s memories.

Points of contention that will come up and counters to them

The seed is strong.

1. Jon doesn’t have black hair like the rest of Robert’s bastards.

"The seed is strong, Jon Arryn had cried on his deathbed, and so it was. All those bastards, all with hair as black as night. Grand Maester Malleon recorded the last mating between stag and lion, some ninety years ago,...Their only issue, an unnamed boy described in Malleon's tome as a large and lusty lad boar with a full head of black hair. ... No matter how far back Ned searched in the brittle yellowed pages, always he found the gold yielding before the coal.”

A.    Gendry remembers that his mom had yellow hair

B.    Barra’s mother ….Had light red hair.

First, I will say that I believe the phrase “the seed is strong” isn’t limited or exclusive to hair color, jaw line and broad shoulders. I will come back to that later. What is being observed by Ned and told to us is the outcome between the black hairs of Baratheons with the gold hair of the Lion, only. Therefore its incorrect to exclude Jon based on his dark brown hair. Those of you familiar with genetics gets it.

So remember I told you to keep in mind that the above phrase means more than hair etc? “Seed” also means progeny/offspring,so reading this again with that in mind we have “the progeny/offspring” is strong.

About Gendry

The master called over a tall lad about Robb's age, his arms and chest corded with muscle

"This is Gendry. Strong for his age, and he works hard.

"You saw the boy. Such a strong boy. Those hands of his, those hands were made for hammers.

About Mya

“She found Mya Stone waiting impatiently with Lothor Brune and Mord. She must have come up in the bucket to see what was taking us so long. Slim and sinewy, Mya looked as tough as the old riding leathers she wore beneath her silvery ringmail shirt.”

About Edric

“Edric is a sturdily attractive youth, with jet-black hair and deep blue eyes.”(

Of those we are sure are Roberts his strength is stamped unto them. Jon exhibits exceptional strength as well but unlike the others in his case it is more noticeable because he doesn’t have the Baratheon stature or stature period that would explain his physical strength. Which is IMO what GRRM intended to show. We as fans notice his strength we call it his berserker rage but it’s an inherited trait.  

“Lord Robert was wounded by the Dragon Prince in combat yet in the end Baratheon’s ferocious strength brought on by his thirst to avenge the shame brought upon his stolen betrothed proved the greater ,WB. pg 129.

“He’d had a giant’s strength too, his weapon of choice a spiked iron warhammer that Ned could scarcely lift.”

“I was always strong . . . no one could stand before me, no one.”--Robert to Ned

“ Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his half-brother was strong and fast.

“When the wildling fell the mare bolted, but somehow Jon managed to grab her mane with his off hand and vault himself onto her back……

It was all he could do to force himself back to his feet and climb onto her back. How did I ever mount her before, without saddle or stirrups, and a sword in one hand? That was another question he could not answer Jon asos.”

Ser Alliser seized Jon by the arm. Jon yanked away and grabbed the knight by the throat with such ferocity that he lifted him off the floor.

Jon Snow grasped the spear that bore Garth Greyfeather's head and wrenched it violently from the ground. "Pull down the other two," he commanded, and four of the crows hurried to obey….

“To the men struggling with the spears Snow said, "Take the heads and burn them.”

“Iron Emmett was a long, lanky young ranger whose endurance, strength, and swordsmanship were the pride of Eastwatch. Jon always came away from their sessions stiff and sore, and woke the next day covered with bruises, which was just the way he wanted it.

Jon’s description as being slender/graceful go at odds with his strength.All Robert’s children that we were introduced to are said to be very strong.In Jon’s case its is even more amazing because he shouldn’t be as strong as he is given his physicality. 

[tanmath3-blog]

  Once upon a time, a young Ambrose Ibsen discovered a collection of ghost stories on his father’s bookshelf. He was never the same again.

Apart from horror fiction, he enjoys good coffee, brewed strong.

  Please help me welcome Ambrose Ibsen to Roadie Notes…….

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I was probably about 7 years old. I tried my hand at writing short horror stories and filled a couple of spiral-bound notebooks with stories that were little more than pastiches of Alvin Schwartz’ Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I also wrote a longer story about a haunted hotel that my grandfather paid me five dollars for. That was a proud day.

2. How many books have you written?

As of right now, I’ve written 18 full-length novels under this name, as well as a few novellas and a 4-part serial. Under other names I’ve probably written around 10 novels, plus a lot of novellas and shorts.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Honestly, there are no sacred cows for me when it comes to writing. I’ll approach any subject so long as it serves the narrative. If there’s a story there, I’m game. The exception is what I would call a “boring” topic. For instance, I doubt I’ll ever write a book detailing the ins and outs of the US tax code.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

As of this writing I’m 29 years old. I’ve been happily married for 8 years and have 4 children—two boys and two girls—the oldest of which is 6 years old. Things around the house tend to be rather hectic!

Up until August of 2015, I did have a day job. For nearly ten years I’d worked as a night-shift secretary at a local hospital. I sat at the nursing station of a medical-surgical ward and answered phones, processed physician orders and—when time allowed—read books or worked on writing my own. By August of 2015 however, my sales had grown to the point where I could comfortably jettison the job, and I’ve been fortunate to live out my dream of being a full-time novelist ever since. It’s still early days, but so far, I haven’t got any regrets!

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

My favorite book that I’ve written? That’s a tough one. I’d probably select one of my newer novels, Asylum. It incorporates a lot of my favorite supernatural themes and marks the first time in my career I wrote a story that spans three complete novels. It felt like a real milestone to me when I completed it.

6. Who or what inspired you to write? I don’t know that I can attribute inspiration to any one person. As a child, I always wanted to express myself and leave a mark on the world around me. Writing was the only thing I had any sort of innate talent for, and so I pursued it ardently. There have been writers along the way that have inspired me to keep it up, though. R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books in the early 90’s were like a drug for me, and it was after discovering those that I decided I wanted to be a writer. Over the years I discovered the prose of master stylists such as Lovecraft and Oscar Wilde, and wanted to emulate them. Lastly, in many ways—not the least of which is discipline—the Japanese novelist Yukio Mishima has been a big inspiration to me. My parents and wife have also encouraged my writing.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

I love to read, of course. I read widely, and do my best to squeeze in reading time where I can, though admittedly I’m bad at it and read less than I ought to. I also love film. I watch a lot of movies in my spare time. I’m very interested in specialty coffees and teas, and spend a lot of time tinkering with different doodads and brewing methods. Now and then I play video games, though I’m very picky on that front and have to severely restrict my consumption. Nothing derails my writing schedule like marathoning a video game for days on end.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

I do have a kind of tradition between projects—something I’ve only adopted recently. After completing a novel, I make a point of reading 2 whole books by different authors, and watching at least two films. This helps me stave off burnout. Reading and being exposed to new ideas through media is a really important thing when you’re a storyteller. The storytelling process sees one draw from a well of ideas, however if you keep on drawing water and never replace it, it’ll eventually run dry. This is why a short rest period—a “creative rest period”—is so important to me.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

I write in my home office, at my desk. I have a large iMac computer, and I listen to music that suits the scene I’m working on through headphones. Sometimes, when I want to write elsewhere, I’ll pack up my portable word processor (an AlphaSmart Neo) and go to a coffee shop. I find it hard to write in complete silence, truth be told.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

Lots of things, to be honest. While I think my most recent work is loads better than my stuff from five or ten years ago, I’m always picking up new techniques and trying to up my game. I really want to get better at writing realistic, relatable characters—that’s a big one.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

My dream is to earn a living as a writer for the rest of my life. To build a comfortable life, provide for my family and just keep on doing what I love till I drop dead. I’d love to be a famous writer—a James Patterson or Stephen King. I mean, who wouldn’t? But even if I never approach that level of success, remaining a perennial mid-lister would be a joy. Hell, as long as I can afford the good coffee beans without having to think about it, I’ll be happy.

12. Where do you live?

I live in Ohio. Born and raised! A lot of people consider Ohio—especially the northwest section where I’m from—to be boring. And they’re half-right. But I wouldn’t leave it for the world.

13. Pets?

No pets currently, but I’m a cat person. I hope to adopt a few kittens down the line. Maybe a dog, too. I’m rather fond of pugs.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

I think Dorothy Parker put it best when she said: “I hate writing, I love having written.” While I certainly don’t hate the writing process, for me the most exhilarating part of a project is when I reach the end and take in the whole shape of a story for the first time. Perhaps it sounds conceited, but seeing my story as a finished project—a thing that began as a series of nebulous ideas and notes scratched onto sticky notes—is awe-inspiring for me. Translating my ideas into a tangible book that others can read is the best part, hands down.

15. What is coming next for you?

Right now, I’m putting the finishing touches on my latest novel. It’s called Night Society, and it should be dropping in early October, just in time for Halloween. Aside from that, I’m just trying to soak up the season while it’s here. The Fall/Halloween season is my absolute favorite time of year. There’s just something about it. It’s nostalgic. I’ll miss it when it’s gone.

      You can connect with Ambrose Ibsen here: 

ambroseibsen.com

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ambrose-Ibsen/e/B00YBXIVS0

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ambrose-Ibsen-867837259919312/

Twitter: @ambroseibsen

  Some of Ambrose Ibsen’s books: 

Getting personal with Ambrose Ibsen Once upon a time, a young Ambrose Ibsen discovered a collection of ghost stories on his father's bookshelf.

[tanmath3-blog]

  Richard Raven has become a cherished friend over the last several months. We have talked about his writing and books and publishing for hours. He has a delightful sense of humor and really loves his fellow writers and readers alike. I always love when he sends me his latest story to read and can highly recommend his books. He has surrounded himself with an awesome support group of friends who edit, read and sometimes make covers for him. If you don’t know him or haven’t read his stories I highly suggest that you do, you will never meet a kinder man who truly appreciates everything you do for him. Please help me welcome Richard Raven to Roadie Notes………..

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

Ten or eleven, if I remember correctly. It was an essay about little league baseball I wrote for the extra credit in class, but my teacher liked it so much that she had it published in the school newspaper. I was in my mid-thirties, and a lifetime of hell-raising already behind me, when I decided to make a serious attempt at writing. I say serious attempt, but it was mostly a pastime at first to amuse myself. It was in 1997 when, on a whim, I entered a short mystery story in a contest sponsored by a writing group based in Memphis, Tennessee and won first place and a $50 prize that I realized I truly did have the ability to write a story that someone other than me would read and enjoy. I’ve been writing, off and on, ever since. It was about six years ago that I began developing a style of writing that I felt was right for me and would one day, hopefully, make me a published author.

2. How many books have you written?

At present, I have two published novels, For The Evil Returned (horror) and His Debt To Her (a murder mystery), and two collections of shorts and novellas (all horror). These four books were published under the name Jackson Sullivan. I also have two book length manuscripts I wrote from 2004 to 2009 that I’ve never submitted. Someday, I may pull both out of the boxes I have them stored in, knock off some of the dust, bring them up to date, and see what happens.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Courtroom dramas. Almost without exception, I find stories like this painfully dull and dreary, and it’s hard to get me to even sit through a movie involving a lot of back and forth legal wrangling. Anything else, no problem.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I’m 54, which amazes me and anyone who knew me from my late-teens right up until about the time I turned 30. During those years I traveled the country from coast to coast, border to border (sometimes not even bothering to stop at the borders), living out of a suitcase and from either a Harley-Davidson or a Trailways bus. Never married, and no kids, but there is a lady in my life. Quite a lady she is, too, in that she can put up with me on a daily basis – the only woman I’ve ever known who could do it. I’ve worked many kinds of jobs over the years but, right now, I’m trying to concentrate solely on writing.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

I’m happy (as happy as any writer can be) with everything I have published. Having said that, I feel my two novels are dead even as far as my favorites. Both were inspired by events that hit very close to home with me, so there is a personal connection with both stories. In the case of the murder mystery, that story stemmed from a family tragedy in which an aunt of mine died in a car crash.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

The who, first and foremost, would have to be Stephen King and Robert R. McCammon. It was King’s IT and McCammon’s Swan Song that inspired me to write horror, and both stories remain the most incredible and moving tales I have ever read. Writers like Clive Barker, Ray Garton, James Herbert, John Everson, and Ruby Jean Jenson have also heavily influenced the kind of horror I write. The list, however, doesn’t end with these legends of the horror genre. I have read many, many different and diverse authors over the years – from Stephen Ambrose to Ken Follett to Frederick Forsyth – and they have all influenced me in some way. As far as the what, I have had a love for most of my adult life of movies (mostly horror, mysteries, and thrillers), and I’ve had the privilege of knowing many people over the years who loved nothing more than to spin an interesting tale. I still get the chance every now and then to sit and visit with someone who will gladly regal me with a story of a bygone time. I find these stories endlessly fascinating.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Well, writing is a lot of fun, of course! When I’m not doing that, however, you can usually find me in front of the TV watching some slasher flick or a World War II spy thriller. I love the outdoors and enjoying fishing and camping, when I get the chance. I also love car and motorcycle shows, and you can usually find me on pretty Spring and Summer weekends at the local convenience story visiting with the many bikers that pass-through town on road trips or poker runs. I’m also a fanatic for hard rock music, as I’m sure everyone who knows me on Facebook or has ever seen my timeline is well aware.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Well, one thing that has become a kind of tradition is that I like to spend some quiet time, usually alone and late at night (when I typically finish a story), during which I say goodbye to the story itself and the characters I’ve created. After all, each story and its characters have occupied my mind for days, weeks, months, and sometimes much longer than that. Case in point, I spent over fourteen months writing and polishing For The Evil Returned. When I type THE END, it takes me a little while to let go of that story and start thinking about the next one.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

I have a room, a man-cave if you like, in my apartment where I write. The hundreds of books in my personal library fill that room, along with the various and minor awards I’ve won with my writing over the years, as well as autographed pictures of various bands and musicians I’ve met. My own little world, I suppose. Usually, especially if the writing is going well, it’s as silent as a tomb in that room. But if I’m hung on a plot issue or stuck for whatever reason, I always have music playing and my headphones on. Either that, or one of the many books on CD I have.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

As far as what I write and have written, no. Of course, as is the case with every writer, I suppose, I always feel the story I’m working on could do with another polish or isn’t as perfect as I could make it. But you must finish it at some point and let go of it. For me, that can be the hardest part of the whole process. If there is one thing I wish I could change is that I started writing seriously (by that I mean with the idea of getting published) much earlier than I did.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Maybe not so much to become famous (not a threat to either Mr. King or Mr. McCammon, though reaching a point in which I could make a little money would be nice), but more to be remembered as someone who, on his good days, could write a decent story. The day my first novel went live, I felt that I had finally done something positive that just might be read, appreciated and remembered long after I’m gone.

12. Where do you live?

About an hour north of Hot Springs, Arkansas in a little town that isn’t much more than an intersection for 3 state highways and 1 U.S. Highway. I’m only a few miles from Lake Nimrod, a beautiful manmade lake that stretches almost twenty miles through the valleys of the Ozark mountains. I mentioned this lake in one of my novels.

13. Pets?

Any hungry stray that shows up at the front door.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

*grins fiendishly* Being the one in charge and making all the decisions. It’s incredibly fulfilling to create a character, give them an identity and personality, and decide how they will think and act in any given situation. I must admit that creating the antagonist is often the most fun. Just how bad or evil this character or that character will be often takes me to strange places in my mind, and I find myself thinking about things that have never occurred to me before. Some of the places I venture to often surprises me when I read the finished story. Writing also is an escape (and a far safer one than some I’ve lived through to tell about). Like any writer, I suppose, I lose myself in a story and, for however long a writing session lasts from day-to-day, I’m a part of that world I’m creating.

15. What is coming next for you?

I’ve had a two-volume horror novel in mind for some time now; I have a finished first draft of book one and recently began work on book two. It’s proving to be an ambitious project, and I hope it will become my third published novel, this time under the name of Richard Raven. I have a possible fourth novel that is still in the planning and outlining stages that I hope to turn into a horror trilogy or maybe even a series. I have also been writing some long novella, short novel length stories of 18,000 to 25,000 words that I hope will be the first Richard Raven collection and paperback.

16. Where do you get your ideas?

Inspiration is where you find it, and ideas can come from anything, at any time. Something I read, see in a movie, hear in a song, or it could be something someone says to me. A few of the short stories I’ve written are based in part on personal experiences, but always with a twist or two straight out of my imagination. I’ve never had a shortage of or a problem getting ideas. Sometimes they come to me fully formed and it’s only a matter of writing the story in a moment of true inspiration. Often, though, something will come to me and I can see a possible story, but the idea takes time to come together. It can take days, weeks, even months before it fully forms to the point in which I’ll start writing the story.

I would like to remind everyone that I’ve just released my fourth Richard Raven eBook short on Amazon. There is also, of course, that short, In A Blood Red Haze, that made it into the Devils 2 anthology from HellBound Books, and it shares space with some excellent stories from a group of fantastic writers. I also have three other shorts submitted to other anthologies, including one I hope will grace the pages of another collection from HellBound Books. I also have a fourth short that another publishing house invited me to write for an anthology they are putting together, and it’s due out some time after the first of the year. There is also a fifth short I was invited to write for a private anthology, and I’ve decided to co-write this story with a lady who has a lot of untapped talent. I wish I could, but I’m not at liberty to reveal any more about either of these projects right now. The official word will be coming soon on both. It is my hope that there will be no shortage of Richard Raven stories for those desiring to read them. Lastly, thanks to you, Becky, for this chance, and I’ve enjoyed doing this. Spooky reading, everyone!  

You can connect with Richard Raven here: 

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorRichardRaven/

https://www.amazon.com/Richard-Raven/e/B0759WXYHV

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJacksonSullivan/

https://www.amazon.com/His-Deadly-Fascination-Richard-Raven-ebook/dp/B075GJT5PF/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1509489895&sr=8-4&keywords=richard+raven+ebooks&dpID=61W9dORGcJL&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

  Some of Richard Raven’s books: 

Getting personal with Richard Raven Richard Raven has become a cherished friend over the last several months. We have talked about his writing and books and publishing for hours.

[tanmath3-blog]

Ambrose Ibsen is a new friend and writer for me. He was on the Panic Room Radio Show last night and did a reading. To say he left us wanting more is quite an understatement. He has a delightful sense of humor and is very smart. Personally I can’t wait to read his books. Just follow the links below to stalk him.  Please don’t forget to send him a friend request and to leave a review after you read one of his books.

  Please help me welcome Ambrose Ibsen to Roadie Notes………….

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story? I was probably about 7 years old. I tried my hand at writing short horror stories and filled a couple of spiral-bound notebooks with stories that were little more than pastiches of Alvin Schwartz’ Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I also wrote a longer story about a haunted hotel that my grandfather paid me five dollars for. That was a proud day.

2. How many books have you written?

As of right now, I’ve written 18 full-length novels under this name, as well as a few novellas and a 4-part serial. Under other names I’ve probably written around 10 novels, plus a lot of novellas and shorts.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Honestly, there are no sacred cows for me when it comes to writing. I’ll approach any subject so long as it serves the narrative. If there’s a story there, I’m game. The exception is what I would call a “boring” topic. For instance, I doubt I’ll ever write a book detailing the ins and outs of the US tax code.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

As of this writing I’m 29 years old. I’ve been happily married for 8 years and have 4 children—two boys and two girls—the oldest of which is 6 years old. Things around the house tend to be rather hectic!

Up until August of 2015, I did have a day job. For nearly ten years I’d worked as a night-shift secretary at a local hospital. I sat at the nursing station of a medical-surgical ward and answered phones, processed physician orders and—when time allowed—read books or worked on writing my own. By August of 2015 however, my sales had grown to the point where I could comfortably jettison the job, and I’ve been fortunate to live out my dream of being a full-time novelist ever since. It’s still early days, but so far, I haven’t got any regrets!

5. What’s your favorite book you have written? My favorite book that I’ve written? That’s a tough one. I’d probably select one of my newer novels, Asylum. It incorporates a lot of my favorite supernatural themes and marks the first time in my career I wrote a story that spans three complete novels. It felt like a real milestone to me when I completed it.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

I don’t know that I can attribute inspiration to any one person. As a child, I always wanted to express myself and leave a mark on the world around me. Writing was the only thing I had any sort of innate talent for, and so I pursued it ardently. There have been writers along the way that have inspired me to keep it up, though. R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books in the early 90’s were like a drug for me, and it was after discovering those that I decided I wanted to be a writer. Over the years I discovered the prose of master stylists such as Lovecraft and Oscar Wilde, and wanted to emulate them. Lastly, in many ways—not the least of which is discipline—the Japanese novelist Yukio Mishima has been a big inspiration to me. My parents and wife have also encouraged my writing.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

I love to read, of course. I read widely, and do my best to squeeze in reading time where I can, though admittedly I’m bad at it and read less than I ought to. I also love film. I watch a lot of movies in my spare time. I’m very interested in specialty coffees and teas, and spend a lot of time tinkering with different doodads and brewing methods. Now and then I play video games, though I’m very picky on that front and have to severely restrict my consumption. Nothing derails my writing schedule like marathoning a video game for days on end.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

I do have a kind of tradition between projects—something I’ve only adopted recently. After completing a novel, I make a point of reading 2 whole books by different authors, and watching at least two films. This helps me stave off burnout. Reading and being exposed to new ideas through media is a really important thing when you’re a storyteller. The storytelling process sees one draw from a well of ideas, however if you keep on drawing water and never replace it, it’ll eventually run dry. This is why a short rest period—a “creative rest period”—is so important to me.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

I write in my home office, at my desk. I have a large iMac computer, and I listen to music that suits the scene I’m working on through headphones. Sometimes, when I want to write elsewhere, I’ll pack up my portable word processor (an AlphaSmart Neo) and go to a coffee shop. I find it hard to write in complete silence, truth be told.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

Lots of things, to be honest. While I think my most recent work is loads better than my stuff from five or ten years ago, I’m always picking up new techniques and trying to up my game. I really want to get better at writing realistic, relatable characters—that’s a big one.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

My dream is to earn a living as a writer for the rest of my life. To build a comfortable life, provide for my family and just keep on doing what I love till I drop dead. I’d love to be a famous writer—a James Patterson or Stephen King. I mean, who wouldn’t? But even if I never approach that level of success, remaining a perennial mid-lister would be a joy. Hell, as long as I can afford the good coffee beans without having to think about it, I’ll be happy.

12. Where do you live?

I live in Ohio. Born and raised! A lot of people consider Ohio—especially the northwest section where I’m from—to be boring. And they’re half-right. But I wouldn’t leave it for the world.

13. Pets?

No pets currently, but I’m a cat person. I hope to adopt a few kittens down the line. Maybe a dog, too. I’m rather fond of pugs.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

I think Dorothy Parker put it best when she said: “I hate writing, I love having written.” While I certainly don’t hate the writing process, for me the most exhilarating part of a project is when I reach the end and take in the whole shape of a story for the first time. Perhaps it sounds conceited, but seeing my story as a finished project—a thing that began as a series of nebulous ideas and notes scratched onto sticky notes—is awe-inspiring for me. Translating my ideas into a tangible book that others can read is the best part, hands down.

15. What is coming next for you?

Right now, I’m putting the finishing touches on my latest novel. It’s called Night Society, and it should be dropping in early October, just in time for Halloween. Aside from that, I’m just trying to soak up the season while it’s here. The Fall/Halloween season is my absolute favorite time of year. There’s just something about it. It’s nostalgic. I’ll miss it when it’s gone.

    You can connect with Ambrose Ibsen here:

Everything—books, audio books, news—can be found here:

website: ambroseibsen.com

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ambrose-Ibsen-867837259919312/

amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Ambrose-Ibsen/e/B00YBXIVS0

  Some of Ambrose Ibsen’s books:

Getting personal with Ambrose Ibsen Ambrose Ibsen is a new friend and writer for me. He was on the Panic Room Radio Show last night and did a reading.

[tanmath3-blog]

Richard Alan Long is a very kind man. He has a great sense of humor and always seems happy. He is a family man with twin girls. I can’t imagine how he gets any writing done. I can tell you he adores his family and loves to talk about them. He is passionate about his writing and wants to make sure his books are as perfect as they can be before he releases them. If you haven’t read his stories please pick one up and don’t forget to leave a review. Make sure to say hello to him and send him a friend request. Please help me welcome Richard Alan Long to Roadie Notes…….

  1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I was always writing stories as far back as I can remember. When I was a kid it was these crappy comic strips based on the ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ which I was obsessed with. I’d draw them with marker pens and crayons. I wrote a whole series based on the characters. As a kid I obviously didn’t know the movie was considered the worst movie ever made, me and my friends thought it was awesome. We’d trade the cards at school which probably lead to me being a completest later in life. As I got older I’d write stories. Always had a good imagination. Although my teachers at school said I was a daydreamer. One day I wrote a poem. Teachers didn’t believe it was me. Kids came up and said ‘no way did you write that poem’ It got put in the school newspaper and I’d still get kids coming up stamping a finger into my chest saying ‘You didn’t write that!’ But I was always creative. I am an only child and like most only children I spent a lot of time alone, creating worlds with toys and drawings.

2. How many books have you written? Two novels, three novellas, fourteen plays, about sixteen short stories and hundreds of poems…getting them where they need to be is another story. Some are published and some I doubt will ever see the light of day but I like to look back over the old ones to see how much I’ve developed as a writer.

3. Anything you won’t write about? Not interested in torture porn and gore just for the sake of it. It has to fit in with the story. Story is number one for me. I like to go on a journey with characters. I don’t like books where characters are merely created just to be killed off in outlandish ways. That gets boring for me very quickly.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc… I am married with two kids. Besides writing I’ve worked a spectrum of jobs. Mostly retail and hospitality. It gave me some great characters. At the moment though, being a stay at home dad and writer is the best job I could ask for.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written? I quite like ‘Words Apart’ I wrote it when I was young and it has a young person’s conviction and determination. I did a play over ten years ago. I wrote it, a mate directed it and some friends acted in it. It was a great time. Rehearsing and performing. We did it purely for the love of it. I remember all the plays in my region at the time were either comedies or Shakespeare and I wrote this play that was like a Stephen King book if David Lynch had directed it with the budget of a Troma movie. It was great working with such dedicated people, many I’m still friends with.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

I think I was inspired by being told I couldn’t do it. School had told me I was better off leaving, my grades were awful and I felt completely useless and the education system reinforced that. If you segregate kids and tell them they are the bottom class, that the most they can ever achieve is a E grade then unfortunately at a young age you start to believe you are worthless. I remember one teacher used to shout at me as I walked into to school ‘Not be long before you can sign on the dole.’ So it made me think, especially at a young age that I was a failure and I was stupid. But the best advice I got was the school telling me to leave and go to college. I went to college and it was a joy. The lecturers knew how to nurture talent and get the best out of students. They made you feel like you mattered. In terms of writing and inspiration it came from a few different writers. The first book to truly inspire me to want to write was ‘Salem’s Lot’ by Stephen King. It is beautifully written. It is scary. I remember reading it late at night and I felt right there with Ben Mears when he’s exploring the Marsten house. It’s still to this day my favorite book. At college I started writing and studying plays and I was very inspired by Harold Pinter. I still am. He inspired me to write better dialogue. I love his plays. Everything appears normal and English but there is an oddness to it all. Off the top of my head some writers or books that made a massive difference and inspired me where ‘The Woman in White’ by Wilkie Collins. Collins had such a way of capturing human emotion. ‘Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger is another book I found inspirational. I read it and I was blown away. It is sublime. I think I read it in two sittings. Also I must mention William S Burroughs. I have read most of his books and I think he was a genius. So yeah I was a kid that got told I was thick and useless but I was reading William S. Burroughs and Wilkie Collins for fun without realizing I was actually self-educating myself.

7. What do you like to do for fun? When not writing and not looking after my family I enjoy playing Nintendo. I am a massive fan of the Legend of Zelda. Have been since day one when I used to play it with my late father. I’m a bit of a geek for Italian horror cinema but don’t get much chance to have Dario Argento marathons anymore with my kids in the house. Obviously I read. Loving Richard Chizmar’s work at the minute. I also and this is very rock n roll, but I have a favorite chair in my garden and I love a cup of tea on an evening and get the chance to just to sit and stop everything. To take a moment to think about my late parents, to remember the good times and too think about my friends. My dad passed away just over a year ago and the end was tough. It’s nice to just take a moment and remember the good moments we shared. On a lighter note I love a Monday night when the family goes to bed and I relax and watch the new Twin Peaks. David Lynch is my favorite director. The guy is a legend. I like music too, don’t go to gigs as much anymore. I’m still old school. Still buy my music on CD’s.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book? None. I just think…fuck me this is going to take some editing.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music? I generally write to music. Rock music or soundtracks. But when I’m second drafting or working over a scene I prefer silence.

10. Anything you would change about your writing? Not getting kicked out of school and being told I was a failure from every educational body at a young age might have helped. It took years for to meet people who had confidence in me and my writing. Advice for any writer. Find someone who believes in you. My wife has been a rock of support for me.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer? Don’t really think much in those terms. All I want is to make a living at it and hope I can entertain people. Everything else is a welcome bonus.

13. Pets? It’s a tough one. One of my daughters is terrified of dogs, cats, Kermit the Frog and anything that moves. Yet my other child is like Steve Irwin, grabbing any bug or slug and holding them close and saying ‘Hello cutie pie’ My wife wants a dog but I’m still undecided.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing? Freedom. Freedom to just get lost in a story. That all its about at the end of the day. I suppose it’s not even about getting published. It’s a therapy. Some people take drugs, others drink. I write.

15. What is coming next for you? Preparing to release a novella ‘About A Witch’. I’ve got a few short stories due out too with different publishers. and then hopefully once they’ve done the rounds I’ll have a deal for a novel on the table. Also I’ve never collaborated with another writer before so hoping to work with someone soon.  ‘About a Witch’ is out soon as well as my work with Hellbound Books Publishing LLC 

  You can connect with Richard Alan Long here:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle-dbs/author/ref=dbs_P_W_auth?_encoding=UTF8&author=Richard%20Alan%20Long&searchAlias=digital-text&asin=B00AKU2RS8

      Some of Richard Alan Long’s books:

  Getting personal with Richard Alan Long Richard Alan Long is a very kind man. He has a great sense of humor and always seems happy.

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Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.

Daniel launched his début “Burning House” in 2015, swiftly following with the Lovecraft-inspired “Maldición.” His most recent books “Mr. Robespierre”, “Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm” and “Into Fear” have garnered universal praise.

He has featured in the anthology collections “Cthulhu Lies Dreaming” from Ghostwoods Books, “Death By Chocolate” from KnightsWatch Press, “VS.” from Shadow Work Publishing and “Bah! Humbug!” from Matt Shaw Publishing, and the upcoming “The Stars at My Door” from April Moon Books.

Daniel also created “The Black Room Manuscripts” a charity horror anthology & is a founder of UK independent genre publisher The Sinister Horror Company. Please welcome Daniel Marc Chant to Roadie Notes……

    1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I would have been around nine or ten at a guess. I was certainly in the later years of Primary School here in the U.K. During those formative years I was very interested in the Fighting Fantasy series of books as well as tabletop fantasy gaming. I remember writing a series of stories based around a burly Orc warrior named Grogan who was always caught up in some hapless adventure that required his specific brand of violence. No doubt inspired by early watching’s of Conan. Sadly Grogan’s adventures weren’t that great, but they do still exist somewhere in my parents attic. Along with my soul.

2. How many books have you written?

Well it depends on whether you count released and unreleased? Released I have Burning House, Maldicion, Mr. Robespierre, Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm, Into Fear and One Girl Army – so that’s seven. Unreleased (but practically finished) I have Devil Kickers and Incarnate so that’s another two. All in all nine. Not a bad tally.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

Sexual violence and animal cruelty. I’m no prude but I couldn’t personally use those subject matters and write a convincing tale that would justify their inclusion. Other writers have done so masterfully but I know I would struggle with it, and therefore it’s not for my fiction. I’ll leave that to others. My style is a cocktail of 80’s nostalgia, Lovecraftian mythos and John Carpenter homage.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I’m 38 years young (he says with bones that crack every morning) and I live in Bath, Somerset U.K. with my girlfriend Christian Lourenco (yes, she does have a boy’s name, she’s half-French). No kids, never wanted any and luckily nor did Christian so we’re good on that front! During the day I am a mild-mannered office worker in the world of finance (there’s a far lengthier explanation of what I do, but it makes most people’s eyes glaze over so I’ll stick to that).

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

I would have to say Mr. Robespierre. It’s the encapsulation of the 80’s style horror that I adore as well as being a love letter to my good lady Christian. The little girl Chrissy is based on her, and her parents Dom and Sandy are based on her real parents. The book is full of little details and nods to incidental things that I think help flesh it out to be a believable slice of unbelievability. It all happened because I had just finished Maldicion and I (foolishly) asked her what she would like to read about in a book by me. Her response was, “cats, ghost, Madonna and me,” in that order. And so Mr. Robespierre was born.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Many things. I fit within your typical horror author stereotype in the fact that I didn’t have a great experience during my school years (bullying and shit like that – don’t worry, I’m fine) so that led me to find escapism in other avenues. Books, comic books, films, and music became the universes that I would escape to. And the more you escape to a universe the more you want to be part of it, so you start creating elements to contribute towards it. At first clumsy fan-fiction and then as it develops you go further down the rabbit hole. The lightning bolt came when I first read H. P. Lovecraft at an impressionable age. His concepts really resonated with me, and still do to this day.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

I watch far too many movies. Far too many movies. And also I’m an avid gamer. For more socially acceptable pastimes I do love to cook and am fucking good at it, if I do say so myself. I blame the expectations of a half-French girlfriend.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Think it’s all shit and cry alone. Does that count?

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

I write at a table in my flat on a Samsung laptop. I always write to music. I cannot do it any other way. It’s always orchestral music too. Sometimes classical, sometimes film scores, sometimes video game scores, and other times just an eclectic mix of whatever Spotify throws at me. I tend to create a ‘mood’ playlist of stuff though and then play that. So for Maldicion it was all brooding pieces, Devil Kickers was Southern Blues, Mr. Robespierre was synth and so on.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

I pride myself on being a B-movie writer. What I mean by that is that I like to think of my work as self-contained little stories, like movies, that you’d find at the rental stories of my youth. You’d pick them up, watch them and have a laugh or a jump scare and then job done. I’m not, and never will be, the award-winning author whose works transcends the genre. I write monster books.

But the flip-side to that is that my scope can sometimes feel limited to me as I tend to be drawn to throw monsters in everything. And I mean everything. I’m not a master of subtlety and think I’ve got some work to do to in time to turn the dial down, rather than up, when a story gives an opportunity.

But still. Monsters.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

As I said above I have no aspirations to be the next Stephen King or whatever. I just want to write an entertaining yarn. If I make somebody lose themselves in the world I created for a few hours then that’s job done. I couldn’t be happier. In an ideal world I’d like to see a film or two based on something I’ve done but a boy’s got to dream right?

12. Where do you live?

Bath, Somerset U.K. A quaint little place that I love dearly. I’m not from here originally, I hail from a place called Gillingham, Dorset (which is also where Justin Park comes from funnily enough).

13. Pets?

None. And it breaks my heart! I adore animals. Where we live we are unable to have pets because British rental rules are random. You can have a screaming, shit spewing child that draws on the walls but you can’t have a cat that will sleep most of the day.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Monsters. And like I mentioned earlier I like to think of myself as a vendor of B-movie fiction and, being a fan of B-movie fiction, I like that my work does that.

15. What is coming next for you?

One Girl Army my young adult style novella is released on February 4th. That’s been a long time coming and is about a young woman whose relationship breaks down after she’s disovered her partner is cheating on her. She attends therapy (much to her dislike) to try to help and during these sessions each of her emotions takes physical form in her mind, kind of like Scott Pilgrim, and she must battle them to try and manage her depression and anxiety.

Incarnate is also imminent. It’s subtitled ‘a monstrous faerie tale’ and is an action adventure tale inspired by the works of Neil Gaiman and Guillermo Del Toro with my own twist. As with most of my stuff it features a female protagonist (I blame Aliens) trying to save her boyfriend from other-worldly horrors while being assisted by a demonic magic mirror.

Thanks for having me Becky! It’s been a blast!

You can connect with Daniel Marc Chant here: Twitter: @danielmarcchant,

facebook/danielmarcchant.

Sinister Horror Company – http://sinisterhorrorcompany.com/

Daniel Marc Chant author page – Author.to/DMC

A few of Daniel Marc Chant’s books:

Getting personal with Daniel Marc Chant Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.

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Eric A. Shelman is amazing. Not only is he an amazing writer he can sing too. If you haven’t heard him sing check out his YouTube channel. You don’t want to miss it. He has a great sense of humor and an awesome personality. He loves his wife more than anything in the world. You should hear him talk about her it will make you smile. His writing will have you turning pages fast as you can and holding your breath. I highly recommend you reading his books you will love them. His characters are well-developed and the story line solid and flows well. If you haven’t met him you are missing out on a great man, writer and friend. Please welcome Eric A. Shelman to Roadie Notes…..

    1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I had to be 18 or 19 – I had moved to Dana Point, California, into my first apartment on Silver Lantern street. I had a HUGE group of good partying friends, with it being 1978/79, and wrote a story that included all of them called “Joe Toast in Outer Space.”

Joe Toast was what I’d call myself (and my friends called themselves) when we got a little … let’s say, “blitzed.” Somebody’d come up to me at a party and say, “Hey, man, how you doin’?” and I’d say, “Man, I’m Joe Toast.” Meaning … I was “toasted.”

BUT that said, I also wrote poetry when I was a kid – even got a poem about a departing teacher, Mrs. Dunaway, in the newspaper. Some shit about the golden rule, etc. I later wrote a poem called “Bird Talk” that I thought was pretty good – a teacher asked me where I copied it from, not believing I wrote it. Man, that hit me hard. So, that’s about it. I wrote Bird Talk, probably when I was 8 or 9.

2. How many books have you written?

I’m at 18 right now, but am working on #19. 15-1/2 of those books were written since 2010. I had a 12-year gap in my writing, where I just gave it up completely. I blame a cruel, harsh critique group – but they weren’t really that. They helped me a LOT.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

I love horror, so I tend to go that route. I think of something that scares me, and try to approach it from a different direction. I don’t think I’d ever do romance – but I might try erotica under a pen name. I can get as sexy/raunchy/intimate as the next guy. Just never have. I have a lot of stories from my personal life that would make good drama, but not anything I think I’d want to share, and unfortunately, the people in my life would know the story – and they wouldn’t appreciate it.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…

I’m turning 57 this year, which is just freakin’ baffling to me. I mean, I remember being in my late teens and twenties, never EVER believing I’d live to see 30, much less 40 or 50+. That’s because I was a big partier back in the 70s. I partook in pretty much every recreational drug that didn’t require a needle (never, EVER would I jab a needle in my arm) and I’d wager a guess that when I was young, NONE of my friends would’ve ever predicted I’d become an author and tell stories of zombies, aliens and serial killers.

I’m married for 30 years to my wife, Linda, but we’ve been together since 1983. That’s 34 years together. We live in Cape Coral, Florida, and currently do not have any dogs – but we always have. Greyhounds, Whippets, Chihuahuas, Shelties, etc. We almost seem ready for a new rescue dog.

For my other job(s), I’m an audiobook narrator, and have done work for James Dean, Mike Evans, Thomas A. Watson, Comet Press, David A. Simpson, Dana E. Donovan, and others. I also narrate all of my own novels. I’m also an active real estate broker, and also work in Internet marketing/direct sales.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

It’s hard to say, but Shifting Fears is my favorite story. There are some cool intricacies I really like about the story, and those (few) who have read it also love it. Dead Hunger is what put me on the map, which ended at 9 books and a novella. My favorite couple would definitely be Flex and Gem of Dead Hunger.

I really like The Camera: Bloodthirst – it’s a funny/gory story, along the lines of “Reanimator.”

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

Well, despite the fact that I’ve been writing since I was just a young tike, my writing really ramped up when my late brother, Gary, came home sometime in the 1990s and shared a story he’d written. It was a fiction story called “The Gift,” and he was working on another about his life in Juvenile detention called “State Boy.” That inspired me to begin writing short stories. After pounding out 20 of them, I finally decided to write a book. In 1999, Out of the Darkness: The Story of Mary Ellen Wilson was released. That’s what gave me the permanent writing BUG.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Well, you KNOW I love to sing, so I have over 400 videos on YouTube of me doing just that – yes, to Karaoke tracks. I don’t have a goddamned band, so what am I to do? Plus, Karaoke musicians don’t get drunk and mess up the tune while I’m singing. Sometimes I get drunk and mess it up, though. I also paint stuff occasionally, and I do sing part-time with a band named Shady Deal. Linda and I like to go camping, love to read and listen to tunes. I recommend some Friday or Saturday night, while you’re just mellowing out, to fire up Pandora and create a music station called Melody Gardot radio. You’ll DIG the vibes of that artist, as well as those similar to her. It’s a groooooooooveeeee.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

Not really – just fret about how to promote it so it doesn’t die on the vine, and begin thinking about my next book or my next audiobook narration.

9. Where do you write? Quiet or music?

Mostly quiet, in my office. I used to listen to rock guitar gods or classical music, but not so much anymore. Not sure why!?

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

If I had the time for the pause, I might seek out a large publisher – not an indy, because I don’t really feel in my bones that they can do as much for me as I would – I often check out their authors’ books to see how they’re selling, and normally, mine are better than theirs. I don’t need to trade this for worse – I’d like to really get with a house that could … you know, make me FAMOUS. (Because RICH usually goes with that.) And we’d all like to be rich, no matter what we say on Facebook.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

Hell yes. I’d love to be known as a writer whose stuff you’ll buy just because HE wrote it. And to be happy and healthy as I roll my way towards death.

12. Where do you live?

Paradise, baby. Paradise. Cape Coral, Florida. As I write this, it’s February 8, 2017, and 80 degrees with sun outside. That’s why we live here. We moved here from southern California in 2001. We were there over 30 years, but before that, I was born and raised in Texas.

13. Pets?

Not presently – we’re DOG people.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

The entertainment factor – knowing that you wrote something that people can use to take them away from their daily grind. There is one woman – a fan of mine – whose daughter was killed. She was devastated, and started reading Dead Hunger. She has told me so many times how that book series allowed her to escape her pain while she read it. That is the best feeling. Just the best.

15. What is coming next for you?

Either The Camera II, or a new zombie series. I’ve got some ideas I’ve got to flesh out. I’ve had starts and stops on new zombie series ideas – and then I keep wondering if it’s almost spent! Looking at Tufo’s sales, I have to say it’s not, but then again – maybe that’s just for him! I’ll be working on something else within 30 days of completing Scabs III. I will probably release the entire Scabs Trilogy in ONE book, which will be close to 1000 pages.

  Anything else you would like me to include please feel free to tell me!

Methinks I hate Shakespeare, and I abhor the classics, like the very boring Moby Dick and others. I’m not into “literary” fiction, besides Watership Down, Flowers for Algernon, and some other greats. Give me a fantastic Dean Koontz or Stephen King book – or Ken Follett or Clive Cussler, for that matter. Then … I’m happy.

You can connect with Eric A. Shelman here:

Twitter: AuthorShelman Skype: Shelman9 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/createyourfate Facebook Author Page: http://www.facebook.com/authorshelman Website: http://www.ericshelman.com My products site: http://the-twisted-products-of-author-eric-a-shelman.myshopify.com/ My books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Eric-A-Shelman/e/B001K91I2Y/

  Some of Eric A. Shelman’s books: 

    Getting personal with Eric A. Shelman Eric A. Shelman is amazing. Not only is he an amazing writer he can sing too. If you haven't heard him sing check out his YouTube channel.