#Squidward mushroom

[gimmigezz]

...macheccàz?!?!

[thegoldencontracts]

(Not) A Stand-Up Guy

Summary: Your boyfriend is being insulted. Naturally, you defend him. Problem is... That's kind of hard.

Characters: Azul, Jade

Azul Ashengrotto

It was a peaceful day as you passed through the hallways to run a quick errand; delivering papers to Professor Crewel. The halls were almost completely deserted, every little sound echoing through the walls.

And one of those sounds was the sound of people insulting your boyfriend.

"Ugh," said some guy. "The damn crook. Can't believe people like him can be housewarden."

"We should beat him up." Silence. "I-I'm joking," said the other guy hastily. "Obviously, I know that wouldn't work with those goons of his. He's still annoying, though."

"His voice pisses me off."

"His voice?" Said another guy incredulously. "What about the fact that he's a terrible person?"

A terrible person was definitely an overstatement. Though he definitely had his flaws, Azul wasn't Satan incarnate or anything Iike that.

And- now that you thought about it, didn't these guys cheat off you during Alchemy? What were they doing insulting you boyfriend when they knew you could hear them? Didn't they have an ounce of respect?

...Or did they just think you were a pushover?

You were beginning to feel offended on your own behalf, too.

"Hey!" You said, turning to face them, closing the gap between you and the group of miscreants. "Don't talk about my boyfriend like that!"

"We're right," said one of the guys nonchalantly. You paused for a second.

He was a crook, and he did intentionally get on people's nerves. Curses.

"Uh, well-" You raised a finger to try and prove your point, except there was no point to prove. "He has a very lovely voice!"

"That he sweetens up to get on people's nerves," said a guy. He was right.

You paused for a second. They were right, weren't they?

No, no. You weren't going to let this slide.

"Still," you said, steeling yourself. Your voice instantly turned stony.

"Let's face it: Night Raven's a school of schemers. You're all probably up to no good yourself. Azul isn't particularly worse than any of you, nor is he the morally irredeemable prat you seem to think he is. He's insanely hardworking, and probably more talented than you could ever be, considering how often you all try to pull a fast one and look at my answers during tests."

You paused for a long breath, taking in their shock at your words—and the fact you knew about them cheating off of you.

"So," you continued. "If you're going to use me to cheat or whatever, at least don't talk shit about my boyfriend when I can clearly hear you."

That promptly shut them up.

"Sorry, sorry," one of them said. "So... You won't tell Professor Crewel about... Uh...?"

You beamed.

"We're all good!" You said, switching up your tone immediately. You had gotten what you wanted.

The guy sighed.

"T-Thanks," he said, not really caring about Azul so long as he could keept cheating off of you during Alchemy.

"No problem!"

You beamed, off on your merry way. And, afterwards, you bumped into none other than your darling himself, Azul.

"I saw your little skirmish earlier today," he said with a grin. You laughed.

"I'd stick up for you again," you said. He smiled. "Even if it is super hard to do."

The smile fell right off his face.

"You'd do well to cease this line of conversation."

"Nah," you said. "I think I'll keep talking about it some more. I'll talk about you being a crook, and how you talk like Squidward from SpongeBob sometimes, and-"

"Insolent cretin."

"I love you too, Azul."

Jade Leech

Getting to pick Jade's mushrooms was quite the pleasant experience. They were all so pretty, and the garden itself was so well taken care of, not to mention how much glee you felt at the thought of Jade trusting you enough to ask you to pick some of his precious mushrooms for him!

As you finished storing the last of the mushrooms—Lactarius Indigo, a really pretty one; edible too—you practically skipped back to Octavinelle. Oh, how you loved mycology. The world of fungi was really quite fascinating.

So why did everyone think they were creepy? At least, they did in this school. Seriously, mushrooms weren't just not creepy, they were awesome! Mushrooms were one of the key players in the ecosystem, a great source of food, so varied in utility it was insane, gorgeous, not to mention-

"Oh, look," some guy said." It's the creepier Leech's servant, here to collect his fucking poison mushrooms."

"Don't say that! They're supposed to be together!" Said another guy with a snicker. "They're totally equals, you guys."

Your eye twitched. You could hear them. They knew that, right?

No, no. You had to be calm about this. Move on, ignore them.

"I wonder what kinda blackmail he's got on his little servant-"

"Oh, shut up!" You said before you could stop yourself. You'd lost your temper.

One of the guys scoffed.

"Your precious little boyfriend's a creep, and you know it," he said. Another guy nodded along.

"Wasn't that there thing about him finding people's private online accounts or some shit?"

You grit your teeth. That was... True, actually. He did that, and he also messed with others for his own amusement.

Curses.

"It's just the truth," said one of the guys. You noticed the yellow band on his uniform. Savannaclaw.

You smirked.

"Were you or were you not in on it when your dorm orchestrated the mass accidents? What about the stampede on Diasomnia?"

His eyes widened.

"I- uh-"

"That's what I thought," you said. "Might want to shut it, then. You're not exactly a saint yourself."

With that, you walked off, making one last comment about how they'd never been in a healthy relationship before. Still, you couldn't help but sigh.

You hadn't actually won the argument. You just- deflected their point.

Then again, did those guys really have a point? This was Night Raven. What made the things Jade did any worse than the misdeeds of other students?

You were pulled from your lamentations by the sight of Jade Leech.

"Thank you for so bravely taking a stand on my behalf, dearest," he said with a teasing look that contained a vague trace of sincerity. How did he even get that information? Hell if you knew.

"No problem, my dear princess," you said with an entirely straight face. "On that note, your knight has brought the requested items."

You pulled out the bag of mushrooms, presenting them to him with a smirk.

"Please, accept this humble offering," you said. It was all too satisfying to catch the split second of frustration on Jade's face at you playing along. Turnabout was fair play, wasn't it?

But, of course, he had to keep playing along. It was actually pretty funny, to be honest.

"I accept, my darling knight," he said with a smirk. "Of course, I must reward you."

"And how exactly do you intend to go about doing that?"

Your question was promptly answered when he pulled you in for a kiss.

[gerardwayscrustyeyeshadow]

INTRO BLOG !!!!!!!!!!

Hii! I started tumblr mostly because I read a lot of (screenshotted) shitposts on pinterest and wanted to try the hellsite myself. I'm a 13 year old (currently) artist from slovenia. My blog is going to either be shitposts, random thoughts, reblogs, or art. I don't really know what to write, but some things about me:

-I'm non binary! I go by Jace, but I'm still contemplating whether or not I should get another name. I'm also omni :3

-I am absolutely addicted to music. I mostly listen to emo/punk, but I'll vibe to anything (except balkan. No.) My favorite bands are:

☆MCR

○Green day

☆Ennaria

○The oozes

☆Doll skin

○Paramore

☆Dazey and the scouts

○MSI

☆panic! At the disco

○Mommy long legs

☆Destructo disk

○Avril Lavigne

I grew up with Aurora and TV girl. Unironically danced to Marilyn Manson when I was 4 years old.

-I'm an aspiring artist! I do a lot of projects, and I'm thining about going to art high school. I don't know yet, though. I'll post my art here along the way. :]

My art is tagged as #my art!! :3 on my blog!!!

-I'm also in an orchestra! I play the clarinet (bitches at my school call me squidward lmao) but I kind of don't like playing

-I'm part of multiple fandoms, but I can't get them all off the top of my head, so here's some of them:

-SONICSONICSONICSONIC

-is mcr a fandom?

- Good omens

- The Stanley parable my beloved

- She ra

-toon x mobster

- I ship anything gay even though im not part of the fandom :3 don't mind me

- I fucking love cherry crush

- The opossum fandom?

I think that's all of them (I'll try to update)

-gay gay homosexual gay

-My favorite animals are opossums! Fucking love those bitches but they don't live even near my country. *sobbing* Also my theriotype :3

-My hobbies are drawing, going on multiple hour walks to the forest, finding cool/creepy mushrooms, collecting feathers and bones. I have. A lot. Of bones. Seriously, multiple tote bags of bones. Vulture culture slays

-I'm also into witchcraft and the spiritual world! I have a haunted?? Possessed??? Idk doll. I think her name is Annabelle or Anne and I talk to her sometimes.

-gay

-me!

-also me

-there's more??

-oh my god

-why

That's it! This turned out to be really long, so sorry about that lol. Thanks for reading, if you did!

[cybermax]

Tumblr Holidays.

Need a list of the tumblr holidays and dates.

January 15th. Great Molasses Flood day to all who celebrate.

Also Annoy Squidward day.

January 29. Threshold day. (star trek voyager)

March 10th Super Mar10 Day.

March 15th ides of March.

April 13. This day just pisses me off (meme)

April 14. Sinking of the Titanic.

April 25 Perfect Date.

April 30. It’s gonna be May.

Tuesday the 22nd. Varies month to month and year to year.

Someone balls day. Dont remember the date but I do remember seeing it a few times. Something about twitter.

June 25. Happy Yuri Day to all who celebrate.

July 11 Dashcon Memorial Day.

July 14. Man died eating Library Paste day.

July 17th. What a Night. (Mama Mia)

July 20th. Moon Landing

Spoopy season. Anywhere from March to March it seems sometimes. Yearly.

August 18th = their taking the hobbits to  Isengard day.

August 24th. National Knife day

August 30th, 2024 The Bell riots day.

September 1st Badger, Badger, Badger, Mushroom, Mushroom day.

September 2nd. You know I had to do em day.

September 21st = A day to remember

September 22nd Happy Hobbit Day! Happy Birthday Bilbo and Frodo Baggins!

September 23. Little Shop of Horror’s day.

September 24th. Gritty’s birthday. (September 24,2019)

September 25th Outpizza the hut kids birthday (September 24,2024)

October 3 (mean girls)

November 1st. 364 days till halloween

November 5 Detielputineelection Day.

Also Guy Fawkes day. AKA V for vendetta day.

November 10th. There’s a Circulatory system walking through the kitchen day.

November 14th. Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands By The Perimeter Fence And Screams For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day.

November 16th Knife-Wielding Tentacle’s birthday.

I know there are others. Help me out people.

[catdemontraphouse]

So I got this rly coolass book about animal cohabitation and like uhhh what’s it called, when they facilitate each others lives and shit?

Anways the first ones the death moth, and I’m like huh… yknow if I saw that thing for the first time, I prob wouldn’t immediately associate the pattern on his back as a skull I think I would interpret that more as a Squidward but of course the ancient people of… whenever and wherever this spices was first observed didn’t have Sponegebib so…

Idk why my typing is so bad atm but I’m keeping the typos in this post cuz it’s funnier that way

Dear mutuals wat do you see in the moths hairy back feel free to report. Maybe also I see a mushroom cloud. Or it’s a little guy with his legs spread apart. Dunno.

[thecookieverse]

Cookieverse: Organizations and Businesses

CREAM

Known fully as the "Corporation for Resolving Evil and Atrocious Misdeeds". The Cookieverse’s equivalent to WOOHP. A spy agency dedicated to fighting crime and protecting cookies all over the world.

Known Members:

Chocolate Trifle Cookie (Jerry Lewis, Leader and Founder)

Poppy Seed Cookie (Clover)

Veggie Chip Cookie (TS!Sam)

Wonton Cookie (Alex)

Cookies Next Door (CND)

An organization of child Cookies fighting against controlling and abusive adults.

Known Members

Lemon Meringue Cookie (Rachel McKenzie/Numbuh 362, Supreme Leader)

Soda Bread Cookie (Fanny Fulbright/Numbuh 86, Head of Decommissioning)

Strawberry Fool Cookie (Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1, Leader of Sector V)

Chili Dog Cookie (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr./Numbuh 2, 2x4 Technology Officer of Sector V)

Matcha Choco Cookie (Kuki Sanban/Numbuh 3)

Hokey Pokey Cookie (Wallabee “Wally” Beetles/Numbuh 4)

Salted Caramel Cookie (Abigail Lincoln/Numbuh 5)

Hot Dog Cookie (Chili Dog Cookie’s elder sister; Secret benefactor of the organization)

Cookies of Darkness

Known Members:

Affogato Cookie

Black Forest Cookie (Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz)

Cobalt Cookie (Scarlett)

Dark Enchantress Cookie (Founder/Leader)

Licorice Cookie

Mistletoe Cookie (Icy)

Nightshade Cookie (Darcy)

Poison Mushroom Cookie

Pomegranate Cookie (Second-in-Command)

Red Velvet Cookie

Tarator Cookie (Vendetta)

Zephyr Lily Cookie (Stormy)

Former Members:

Dark Choco Cookie (Defected)

Orange Velvet Cookie (Funkin Blaze, defected)

Pound Cake Cookie (Ralph, defected)

Aloe Cookie's Laboratory

Known Residents:

Aloe Cookie

Blueberry Fudge Cookie (Jenny Wakeman/XJ-9)

Clam Cookie (Cyborg)

Cyborg Cookie

Ion Cookie Robot

Marshmallow Creme Cookie (Baymax)

Succulent Cookie (Calculester)

The Hex Girls

A band of eco-goth Cookies with a dark magic theme. Black Rose Cookie and Black Sesame Cookie are big fans of them.

Rosemary Cookie (Thorn)

Sage Cookie (Luna)

Thyme Cookie (HG!Dusk)

The Krispy Krab

A burger restaurant owned by Crab Burger Cookie

Calamari Cookie (Squidward Tentacles; Cashier)

Crab Burger Cookie (Eugene Krabs; Owner and Operator)

Sponge Cake Cookie (SpongeBob SquarePants; Fry Cook)

The Stroop Stop

The diner owned and operated by Waffle Cone Cookie

Soft Serve Cookie (Funkin!Dusk; Part-time greeter)

Waffle Cone Cookie (Vince; Owner and Operator)

[vintageandroid]

Whimsical Vibrators

BestVibe sponsored another review, so I picked some cute looking toys because they made me smile. One is a mushroom, and one is a squid.

[T]he top is the distinct cone of a squid’s head, with regular decorative marks that somewhat resemble eyes, if a squid had four eyes in regular intervals around its head. I haven’t studied much marine biology but I’m pretty sure they don’t. It’s a pretty powder blue that, fortunately or unfortunately, is approximately the same color as Squidward. Make of that what you will.

there are many benefits to being a marine biologist.

Curious? Check out Review: BestVibe Blue Squid and Fancy Mushroom

-

(Queer Earthling is my 18+ sex blog. If you’re interested in supporting a sex-positive, queer, neurodivergent weirdo, check out my support and affiliates page, or consider sharing my posts so more people can find them!  If you’d rather not see these on your Tumblr feed, feel free to block the tag “Queer Earthling.”)

Aphobes, bi/panphobes, trans/nb-phobes, anti-kink, TERFs & SWERFs DNI

[momma-rose]

i absolutely understand the importance of people (especially americans) understanding the horrible reality of the hiroshima and nagasaki bombings, but also like... the mushroom cloud has been used both seriously and as a gag in comics and animation for several decades, including in japanese media.

i've seen a bunch of posts lately about how disrespectful it is to joke about a mushroom cloud and all i can think of every time i read them is the dozen times i've seen anime and manga use a mushroom cloud as an over-exaggerated response to something, like squidward falling down that hill. the concern is real and understandable but it also feels a little... bubbly, especially coming from americans

[something-about-sunflowers]

[Image description: Spongebob gif where Squidward tumbles down a cliff, landing limply at the bottom, after a comedic pause he explodes in a large mushroom cloud of orange smoke and fire. End ID]

Also:

[Original image description: A pair of hands drop a sausage casing filled with whiskey onto a hot plate skillet. It smokes for a second before bursting into flames. End ID]

Cooking

[sp00ky-frog]

Hi. I don't know you, I saw some comment you wrote. I need you to know that I'm high as fuck right now and thought your profile picture was a green Squidward Tentacles.

If you blur and squint, you can see it. The mushroom canopy is the forehead and the stem is the nose. If blurred, the frogs give the shape of his face

….you’re right. I don’t know what to do with this information.

[thelittlemole]

Hi! I'm here to tell you that you can be my friend!

about me:

mbti: infp

style: punk rock

Some thing like this:

I like:

- vegetables: potatoes, carrots, corn, mushroom

- fruit: watermelon

- food: pizza, soup, pasta

- music: rock, punk, nostalgic

- animal: cat, copybara, mole, hamster, lobster

- anime: solo living, baki, demon slayer, my hero academia, banana fish, mosaico 100, attack on titan

- cartoon: the cuphead show, primal, most of the things made by CN Stadium

- video game: fnaf, fnaf sb, gacha life 2, minecraft

- anime character: tomura shigaraki, pickle, baki, shigeo kageyama, L

- cartoon character: finn, gumball, squidward

- Video game character: monty, moon, sun, ender man, axolotl, bee

I do not like:

- onion

- bug's

It will become more complete over time.

Forgive me if it have wrong, English is my second language.

If you want to be friend or have any questions, send a message.

I'm waiting!

[pandapupremade]

Iori be like "can't stand my assassin" (five minutes later) "me and the besties" (its iori, Matsuyuki and Della together)

[general-sleepy]

[ID: First a gif from Spongebob. Squidward tumbles down a hill then hits the ground and explodes with a small mushroom cloud. Second, a gif from a video of a man on a moving subway. He pries open the doors and jumps onto a platform. He falls over and an explosion is edited in. END ID]

there will never be a funnier visual gag to me than someone falling over and immediately exploding like they stepped on a landmine

[justswitchuploads]

Is it today? Is it next month? Whatever it is, this 15th is a great time to go annoy some squids!!

[gattogrigiobjd]

Smoldering and determined by Nadine Via Flickr: Luts Tiny Delf Louis and The Mushroom Peddler Sir Octavius Von Tentacle

[arctic-hands]

[Image Description: first two photos are what looks like a halved egg with a membrane over the gap between "shells". Inside the membrane are what look like red tentacles.

Third image: the four red tentacles of the fungus are reaching straight up, connected at the top.

Fourth image: the four red tentacles have separated and are now bending back towards the Earth. End ID]

Now feast your eyes on THIS:

[Image Description: a snippet from Wikipedia that says "Clathrus archeri (synonyms Lysurus archeri, Anthurus archeri, Pseudocolus archeri), commonly known as octopus stinkhorn, squidward mushroom, or devil's fingers, is a fungus which has global distribution." The name "squidward mushroom" is circled in yellow. End ID]

(image credit to Dan Hoare on twitter)

I ONLY JUST LEARNED ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THIS MUSHROOM????? WHICH ERUPTS FROM AN EGG BEFORE UNCURLING HELLISH ARMS, EXPOSING ITS STICKY MASS OF SPORES TO BE SPREAD BY FLIES ATTRACTED BY THE SCENT OF ROTTING FLESH???

Admittedly, I am easily won over by all organisms that attract flies with the scent of rotting flesh. But the octopus stinkhorn (Clathrus archeri) also has tentacles, a freaky egg stage, and blackish goop, so it’s my favorite now.