#Spy balloon

[thoughtportal]

Ohio train derailment and corporate media

[floridaboiler]

[excitementshewrote]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

US Confirms Wrong Balloon Shot Down

Spokesmen for the United States Government confirmed today that the balloon recently shot down near South Carolina was not the suspected spy balloon as intended. The balloon was instead a birthday decoration for seven year old Billy Kiarostami, who explained that the balloon was his last from the party.

“Now all I have left is my goldfish,” stated Billy, who then began to cry. Such is the true cost of this international spy game.

[dad-mom-man-woman]

Balloon down

[7itch0zero]

[nofatclips-home]

[dontmean2bepoliticalbut]

[theonlydrewboo]

The orange man is coming.

[workersolidarity]

Lol

[floridaboiler]

[viejospellejos]

aporte: @miguelsr.67

[thenib]

Niccolo Pizarro.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

The Spy Balloon: What It Contained

The mysterious spy balloon recently shot down over American airspace has finally been recovered, and the US Government has now released what they found inside:

Extensive long range video of popular singer Grimes

Location coordinates and intercepted logins by Grimes

A complete record of texts by Grimes

A copy of Miss Anthropocene in MP3 format

Downloads of Grimes's Facebook page

A log of addresses which posted material critical of Tesla cars

The location of Grimes's Tesla car, updated 10 times/second

A "destruct code" that can make any Tesla lock and catch on fire

A list of Tesla cars that have done so without use of the code

Footage of a faked SpaceX Moon landing

Footage of a faked SpaceX Mars landing

Footage of a faked Tesla drive on Mars

Faked footage of Grimes and Elon Musk kissing on Mars

A cure for COVID that works on everyone but Grimes

Millions of dollars of emeralds

$1.76 in Dogecoin, formerly worth over 500 billion dollars

The remains of the real Shaquille O'Neal

Authorities are reevaluating the idea that the balloon was Chinese.

[swedebeast]

[pghgraffiti]