#Specter (one on the left corner)
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barnacles34 ¡ 5 months ago
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My Greatest Joy
IVE Yujin x Male Reader
16k words
'A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.' — The Year of Magical Thinking
18+ smut
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The Birth Crisis. The Great Vanishing. The Specter of Demographic Collapse. The media couldn’t decide on a name, only that it was happening. Some said Korea would be empty in a century. Others, ten years. Twenty-five, if they were feeling generous. A hysterical pendulum swing between denial and terror, between think-tank white papers and government campaigns urging citizens to bureaucratize what was once spontaneous: love, sex, reproduction.
But in Dunsan-dong, no one talked about it. Not really. Not in any meaningful way. The village shrank in slow motion. Affairs stopped happening—nobody had the energy, or the audience. The local divorce lawyer quietly removed ‘Infidelity’ from his services, then shut down altogether. Playgrounds grew ghostly. The corner food stands, once territorial battlegrounds for unruly teenagers, went bankrupt one by one. ‘Kids these days grow up too fast,’ one ajumma said, as if that were the whole explanation.
And yet, in all this entropy, two were born. A statistical error. A miracle.
Miracle is not hyperbole. In two decades, the birth count had been three. The bureaucratic failure of Love—yes, Love, capital L, the thing that was supposed to be instinctual, inevitable, the thing people built whole religions and K-dramas around—had finally completed its slow bureaucratic death. Love was no longer a force. Love was paperwork.
Except for two people.
For them, Love was everything.
—
'One move and you'll split open like a badly wrapped present.' ‘Is that your professional opinion?' 'That's my twenty years of keeping-you-alive opinion.' She's biting her lower lip, the way she always does when she's trying not to smile at your stupidity. 'And I really don't want to explain to some emergency room doctor why I have a boy bleeding out in my room at 2 AM.'
The gash should hurt more. Six inches of red spite across your forearm, but all you can focus on is how Yujin's looking at it—like she's found something breakable in a world made of steel.
'I really fucked up.' 'Did you?' Her touch finds your good arm, barely there. 'Or did you do exactly what you meant to?'
The lamp makes everything soft. She's wearing your t-shirt—the one you left here that summer when the AC broke. Cotton worn thin enough to catch shadowy curves underneath. Silk pajama bottoms that whisper secrets when she moves. You try not to notice. You notice everything.
'This might need stitches.' 'Are you volunteering?' 'Shut up and hold still.' But there's laughter in her voice, the kind that makes your chest tight. 'Some of us are trying to work miracles here.'
The first-aid kit looks wrong in her small hands. Those hands that used to patch up your scraped knees, that still know exactly where you're breakable.
'Remember that time in third grade?' Her fingers ghost over your skin. 'When you tried to convince me you could fly?' 'I could've.' 'You broke your arm.' 'Minor setback.' She laughs, soft and close. 'Nothing's changed, has it?'
Everything's changed. The way moonlight catches in her hair now, how her perfume makes your head swim, the careful distance she keeps even when she's touching you. But you say, 'Not the important things.'
Her breath hits your arm in warm little puffs as she works. Clean movements. No hesitation. Like she's mapping something she never forgot.
'Almost done.' Her thumb traces the edge of the bandage. 'Next time try not to bleed on my carpet?' 'Yujin-ah.' 'Mm?' 'Thank you.'
She looks up. Those eyes crack something in your chest. Then she smiles and whatever was cracked turns to stardust.
'So how'd it happen? And don't say you just slipped, because I know all your clumsy excuses by heart.' 'Just slipped.' 'Onto what? Did some wandering samurai leave their sword in Dunsan-dong?' 'You never know what you'll find these days.' 'Hey.' Her voice goes quiet, the way it used to when she'd tell you secrets at midnight. 'Tell me? I promise to not scold you…much.'
Face to face now. The universe narrows to this: her eyes on yours, her hands still on your skin.
'Okay.' You gesture with your good arm. 'Window.' 'What did you—' Her voice catches. 'If you've done something wild—'
Then you smile.
You watch her shoulders drop. It's a small thing, being able to do this—turn her static to quiet. Not exactly Superman stuff, but it's the only superpower you'd keep if they were dealing them out.
She knows. You can see it in how she moves—little half-dance steps to the window, taking your words as is—hopefully, something good. The curtain whispers. You don't watch. Can't. Your skin's electric with her lingering smell—something you'd bottle if you could, except that'd ruin it, the particular way her skin holds the perfume.
The silence stretches until you think you might snap. Then—
'What am I supposed to be looking at? Because all I see is Mrs. Kim's cat trying to fight a streetlight again, and—' She stops. 'What's it say?'
'Let me make sure I'm reading this right.' She's still facing the window, but you can hear the smile breaking through, eyes transforming into pure joy. 'Because either someone's confessing to me via Christmas lights at 2 AM, or the neighborhood's having a very very specific power outage.'
'These past years—' 'Wait.' She spins around, eyes catching lamplight. 'Did you seriously string up every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong just to—' She takes three quick steps toward you, stops. 'The lights outside the convenience store. The ones from the coffee shop. Even the ones from—' Her eyes go wide. 'You didn't.'
'Old Mr. Park drives a hard bargain.' 'His birthday lights? The ones he's kept since forever?' 'To be fair, they were already purple. Worked with the aesthetic.' 'And what exactly did you promise him?' 'Just my eternal servitude. And maybe repainting his fence.' 'The whole fence?'
'Both sides.'
She shakes her head, but her smile could light up the whole neighborhood. 'You're insane. Completely insane. Do you know how many people I had to convince about your mental well-being?'
'Had to?'
'Have to. Present tense.' She's between your knees now, playing with your shirt hem like it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. 'Though I guess now I'll have to change my story to "dating a lunatic who steals Christmas lights and nearly loses an arm trying to spell out love confessions."'
Your heart stumbles. 'Dating?'
'Well,' her borrowed shirt slips further, showing more shoulder. 'I mean, you did just write my name in stars.'
'They're Christmas lights.'
'Same difference.' Her fingers trail up your arm, careful of the bandage. 'Very romantic Christmas lights.'
'Does that mean—'
'It means anyone crazy enough to risk tetanus and Mr. Park's wrath deserves at least dinner.' A pause, then softer: 'Maybe breakfast too, if they play their cards right.'
'Just breakfast?'
'Don't push your luck.' But she's smiling that smile—the one that's always been just for you.
'Yujin-ah.'
'Mm?'
'All these years, did you ever—'
'Every day.' She doesn't let you finish. Doesn't need to. 'Every single day.'
'Can I—'
Her mouth finds yours: the way her lips part like flower petals at dawn, soft and inevitable. Her breath mingles with yours. There's the perfect arch of her spine, the way her breasts press warm against your chest through thin cotton, how her hips seek yours with an instinct older than thought. The taste of her, sweet milk tea and something darker, something that makes your blood sing. Her hands flutter at your neck, startled, before finding home in your hair, and there's that smell of her—woody, floral, fruity—that makes you dizzy, makes you forget where you end and she begins. Delicate sounds escape her, primal and pure, vibrating through both your bodies like a struck chord. Then she's pulling back, but her body stays honest—trembling, burning: alive with new knowledge.
'Sorry,' she whispers. 'Got carried away. We should probably wait until your wound is healed.' Her smile is so reassuring, masking the softest disappointment that her eyes couldn't hide. 
But she was in luck.
Your fingers circle her wrist mid-fret, right as she's about to check your bandage for the seventh time. Her skin is cool against yours, pulse like a hummingbird.
'Stop fretting.'
'I'm not fretting.' But she's barely holding back a smile, eyes bright with something more than just lamplight. 'I'm calculating how many years Mr. Park's going to make you repaint his fence.'
'Already negotiated.' You tug her closer, feeling the way she pretends to resist. 'Two coats, both sides, and my firstborn child.'
'Bold of you to negotiate with children that don't exist.' She settles between your knees anyway, like she's found her way home.
'Yet.'
Her borrowed shirt—your shirt—slips further off one shoulder. 'You're impossible.'
'Impossible enough to steal every Christmas light in Dunsan-dong.'
'Borrow,' she corrects, fingers playing with your collar. 'We're calling it borrowing. Sounds less felonious.'
'Look who's being responsible.'
'Someone has to be.' But she's leaning closer, breath warm against your mouth. 'Since you've apparently lost your mind.'
'Lost it years ago.' Your thumb traces her lower lip. 'Right around the time you started wearing my clothes.'
She makes this sound—half laugh, half something else entirely. 'Smooth talker.'
'Only for you.'
Her hands find your chest, but there's no real resistance in it. 'If you tear those stitches—'
The kiss swallows her warning. This one's different—deeper, like you're trying to taste every year you've waited. She makes a sound that turns your blood to starlight, fingers curling into your shirt like she's afraid you'll disappear.
'That's cheating,' she whispers when you break apart.
'Is it working?'
The lamp catches gold in her eyes. 'Always will.'
Your hand finds skin at the small of her back. She arches like a cat stretching into sunlight.
'You're staring.'
'Can't help it.'
'Try.'
'Make me.'
She kisses you this time—soft, sweet, dangerous. When she pulls back, her smile could outshine every stolen light in the neighborhood.
'We should probably—' she starts.
'Probably.'
Her fingers find the hem of her shirt. Your shirt. Details.
What follows is an exercise in creative problem-solving. One functional arm between you, too much cotton, not enough coordination. Her hair gets caught. You both laugh. The shirt wins the first round.
'Left,' she instructs.
'My left or your left?'
'Wait—here… I got it.'
The second attempt goes better. The shirt surrenders its hold, and suddenly there's just Yujin—all golden skin and starlight. Her bra's simple beige cotton, but the way it holds her could make Michaelangelo weep.
'You're staring again.'
'Still can't help it.'
She kisses you quiet, hands on your shoulders, pulling you closer. Everything soft and warm and perfect.
'Can I—' your fingers find her back, trace lace.
'Yes.' Another kiss. 'Please.'
The bra falls away like a secret finally told. You forget how words work.
The air hums with the weight of revelation—her body an altar, every contour a psalm. Your breath tangles as you drink her in: the bronze aureoles, the arch of her ribs like a vaulted sanctuary, the pulse fluttering at her throat like a caged sparrow. She shivers beneath your gaze: the raw vulnerability of a soul laid bare.
Your palms ascend her sides, mapping the smoothness, the glory of it all—each sigh, each hitch of muscle, a dialect you ache to memorize. She tips her head back as your thumbs brush the underswell of her breasts, a whimper dissolving. ‘More,’ she murmurs, not a demand but a prayer, a beg; her fingers knotting in your hair as if you might slip away like smoke.
You oblige, slow as honey, mouth tracing the salt-sweet hollow of her collarbone. Her skin blooms beneath your lips—petal-soft, fever-warm—as you chart a path lower, lower, until her nipple grazes your tongue. She gasps, back arching. Her hands clutch at you, anchor and plea, as you worship her with unhurried devotion, savoring each tremor, each stuttered breath.
When her legs part—a silent invitation—it’s your turn to shudder. The heat of her radiates through the last fragile barrier, a molten promise. You press closer, the rigid heat of your unclothed shaft straining against her thigh, a visceral counterpoint to her softness. She rolls her hips, deliberate, and you groan as her warmth grinds against you, friction sparking like flint.
You linger there, foreheads pressed, breaths mingling, the world narrowed to the space between heartbeats. Her eyes lock with yours, galaxies swirling in their depths. ‘I want to feel you,’ she whispers, voice trembling. ‘All of you.’
You move as tides do: inevitable, reverent. Her thighs cradle your hips as you guide yourself to her entrance, the head of your shaft slick with Her. The first breach is a shared gasp—a threshold crossed in tandem. She tightens around you, velvet heat clenching like a fist around your length, and you still, trembling, sweat-slicked and spellbound. Her nails score your shoulders, anchoring you to the agony of slowness.
‘Slowly,’ she breathes, and you obey, each fractional advance a pilgrimage. Her fingers trace your jaw, your lips, as if memorizing the shape of this moment. When you’re sheathed fully, time suspends. Her lashes flutter closed, a tear escaping as she whispers, 'Yes.'
You move in thrusts. Her sighs crest into whimpers, into chants of your name, each syllable a spark in the gathering storm. Her breasts sway with the rhythm, nipples brushing your chest, while your hands grip the flare of her hips, guiding her into the tide. Around you, the room dissolves: there is only her skin, her scent, the liquid pull of her around your shaft—a mosaic of need and nectar, each fragment a revelation.
You kiss her deeply, tasting the salt of her surrender, as the world fractures, reforms, and fractures again.
—
Sheets tangled like an afterthought. A leg hooked over yours, pinning you in place with the quiet authority of someone who has long since decided where they belong. The desk fan ticks through its slow, mechanical arc, stirring the air, stirring her hair, making it brush your chin in the softest, smallest way possible.
She shifts, just enough for her ribs to press against yours. You feel her breathing. Deep. Slow. Listening.
‘I have an audition next week,’ she says, voice barely above a whisper.
‘For what?’
‘Community theater. Spring show.’ A pause. Then, quietly, ‘It’s dumb.’
‘You don’t do dumb things.’
She laughs. A real one. The kind that scrunches her nose a little, that makes her shoulders shake just enough to jostle you.
‘Except this,’ she murmurs. Her fingers trace slow circles on your chest.
‘This was a strategic decision.’
‘Oh?’
‘Carefully calculated.’
She laughs again, softer this time. Her breath is warm where it spills against your collarbone. You could live here. Right here, in the space between her voice and her warmth and the way her hair tickles your skin.
She props herself up on one elbow, looking down at you. The Christmas lights outside flicker purples and blues across her face, her skin, making her look like something caught between a dream and waking. Her smile is quiet. Not big, not blinding. Just there. Something she’s forgotten to hide.
‘Hey,’ she says.
‘Hey.’
Her fingers tap lightly against your chest. ‘Remember when you proposed to me behind the school?’
‘Which time.’
She grins. ‘The time I lost the play to Wonyoung and cried so hard I got a nosebleed.’
‘Ah. I told you it didn’t matter because you’d always be the lead in my story.’
She groans, dropping her forehead to your shoulder. ‘You were so corny.’
‘Still am.’
‘Yeah,’ she murmurs. ‘You are.’
You feel her smile against your skin.
The fan clicks on again, stirring the night, the space between you. The crickets outside hum in harmony with the distant sound of a train—faint, but there. The whole world is slowing down. Breathing with you.
She shifts again, nestles closer. Her lips brush your skin—your collarbone, then just above your heart.
‘I can hear you thinking,’ you say.
She sighs, slow and steady. ‘Just… happy.’
You don’t say anything. Just hold her tighter. Like keeping her close might keep the moment from slipping away.
She pulls back, just far enough to see you, really see you. Her hair is a mess. Her lips are still swollen. The Christmas lights turn her eyes into something impossible, something endless.
‘I love you, you know,’ she says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like she’s never known anything else.
You smile. ‘I know.’
She kisses you. Slow, deep, soft. Like a secret. Like an answer.
The fan ticks. The lights flicker. The night stretches on.
—
It was supposed to be small. A local theater gig, a footnote in her life story. Something that kept her busy while she figured out the rest. That was the plan.
Then a casting director walked into the wrong show on the right night. A single scene, a single line delivered with the kind of weight that makes people stop chewing their popcorn. Two weeks later, she’s everywhere.
At first, it’s just murmurs. Articles in the culture section. Buzzwords like promising, raw talent, the next big thing. Then the billboards go up. Magazines with her face—half-laughing, half-serious, eyes catching the camera like they know something you don’t. The first time you see one, it’s plastered on the side of a bus stop you used to share, back when the only lines she rehearsed were whispered promises and badly sung pop songs.
Now she’s too big for Dunsan-dong.
Not just big. Seismic.
Korea’s sweetheart, the industry's new obsession. Agencies circle like sharks with briefcases, smiling through teeth polished for negotiation. They offer her everything—money, sponsorships, a life where she doesn’t have to wait for the subway or count change at convenience stores. And she takes it, not because she’s greedy, but because this is what she was always meant to be.
You watch it happen the way people watch slow-motion car crashes. Helpless. Horrified. A little bit in awe.
Because here’s the thing they never warn you about when you love someone who's destined for greatness: fame isn’t a door. It’s a chasm. You can’t walk through it holding hands.
At first, you convince yourself nothing’s changed. You still talk, still text. But her replies come slower, her voice more rehearsed. The calls happen between set breaks, her voice filtered through exhaustion and bad reception.
Then the interviews start. The talk shows. The press tours.
She gets good at the answers, the little smiles, the artful dodges. The first time someone asks if she’s dating anyone, she hesitates. Just for a second. Just long enough for the internet to notice.
You tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything. That she’s protecting you. That this is just part of the machine.
But a few weeks later, you see a headline:
‘The Nation’s New Star: Who is Yujin’s Mystery First Love?’
And for the first time, it hits you—really hits you—how easy it is to be rewritten.
The tabloids build their own history, constructing boyfriends from old classmates, exes from co-stars. They don’t name you. They don’t have to. Because in the world they’ve built, you don’t exist.
And maybe, you start to think, maybe you never did.
Maybe love isn’t enough when it’s up against the weight of the world. Maybe you were naive to think you could be something more than a footnote in her legend.
Maybe you were never really two. Maybe it was always just her.
Moving forward. Rising higher.
And you—
You’re just the idiot standing still, watching her disappear into the stars.
—
Yujin called you up.
The night was cutting: cold, unrelenting Snow blew sideways, a thousand tiny knives catching on your exposed skin, but you sat there anyway—legs crossed, hands in your lap, all polite.
The bench was old, paint curling at the edges, the kind of place people only sat when they had no better options. You smiled at the irony.
You’d met Yujin in worse places. Loved her in worse places.
And maybe, just maybe, lost her in worse places too.
Then she emerged from the fog, a silhouette first, then a shape, then a person.
Five benches away. Maybe six. Distance had become an abstract concept, like time, like certainty, like the idea that love—real love—was enough to hold the weight of the whole goddamn world.
She didn’t sit. Didn’t hesitate.
‘Let’s break up.’
The words didn’t belong to the girl who used to steal fries from your plate, who used to call you at 2 AM because she saw a cat in the street and thought you needed to know. They belonged to someone else. Someone who had spent hours, maybe days, rehearsing.
Her voice was final. Her eyes were final. Everything about her, from the way she stood to the way the wind refused to touch her, was final.
You should’ve said something.
Anything.
But the air left your lungs in one sharp exhale, stolen by the weight of three syllables arranged in an execution sentence.
The snow caught in her hair, in her lashes, in the hollow curve of her collarbone, and she looked—god, she looked—like something from a dream you had once, the kind you woke from gasping, reaching for someone who wasn’t there.
And then she wasn’t.
She turned. Walked away. Snow swallowed her whole.
You could’ve chased her. Could’ve fallen to your knees, begged, pleaded, made a scene, made a fool of yourself. Could’ve grabbed her wrist, reminded her that you were not just some chapter to be closed. Could’ve thrown every memory, every quiet moment, every touch, every whispered I love you in her face like proof of something sacred.
But you didn’t.
Because Yujin never spoke like this. Not unless she meant it.
And that’s what gutted you most.
You sat there long after she was gone, staring at the place she used to be, like if you looked hard enough, you could rewind time, unbreak whatever fragile thing had finally snapped between you.
The sky stretched empty above you, stars sharp against the ink. You tried counting them. Tried counting anything to stop counting the ways you’d just lost her.
One star. Two. One mistake. Two. Three years. Four. Five benches away.
Maybe six. The wind howled, and you let it.
—
The beer’s flat, but that’s not why it tastes bad.
You lean against the bar, watching foam dissolve into something thin and lifeless, the way good things always do. Three years distilled into neon lights and a tab you don’t remember opening.
She’s 24 now. You keep count because she was impossible to avoid—billboards, subway ads, every damn screen flashing her face like she owns the world. And maybe she does. The brightest star, the nation’s darling, the girl who left and became.
You should be proud. You tell yourself you are.
But pride doesn’t feel like this. Doesn’t sit heavy in your ribs like grief. Doesn’t twist like a blade when you flip through channels and land on her.
The latest drama. Friends-to-lovers, some rom-com fluff. A special kind of hell, watching her fall for someone else, even if it’s scripted.
And the kiss—god, the kiss.
Over and over. Different angles, different takes. The guy has trepid shoulders and a weaker mouth. You want to reach through the screen, grab him by his stupid collar, shake him until he understands: You don’t get to kiss Yujin like that unless you mean it.
The beer in your hand swirls, a storm in a pint glass. You watch it spin, thinking about how everything these days seems determined to drown you.
Then Roach walks in.
Roach—half philosopher, half walking disaster. A man with too many past lives and a prosthetic eye that glows faintly under bar light, making him look part machine, part ghost.
‘That recovery group, they’re solid,’ he says, by way of hello. His voice is like chewing on gravel. ‘Might’ve been able to quit if I stuck around.’ ‘4.8 stars on Google, right?’ ‘Right. Wait. How’d you know that?’ His synthetic eye sits there while the real one narrows. ‘Been there.’ ‘What?’ ‘Been there. You recommended it.’ Roach laughs, short and sharp. ‘That was the review forum.’ ‘Memory’s fuzzy.’ ‘Fuzzy? You’re getting soft.’ ‘All those reviews read like discount novels, Roach.’ ‘Why the hell would I write reviews?’ ‘Same reason you do anything—to feel something.’ He smacks your chest, hard enough to make you look up. ‘Yujin broke you. Plain as day.’ Your throat tightens. The name alone feels like a switchblade. ‘It’s not like that… anymore.’ ‘Sure looks like it.’ ‘How’s that?’ ‘You’re on the leaderboard in this bar. They’re bleeding you dry, and you’re letting them.’ You don’t argue. Just take another sip. ‘Don’t deserve this money anyway.’ ‘Then give it elsewhere. There’s an orphanage across the street.’ ‘Don’t play saint with me.’ ‘It’s just a block away.’ ‘Fuck off.’ ‘Just a block—’ ‘Fine.’ You press your glass against the table, like the condensation might hold you steady. ‘I’ll think about it.’ Roach grins like he’s won something. ‘Ever watch her show?’ he asks, tilting his flask toward you. You hesitate. ‘Not really.’ ‘Bullshit. Saw you yesterday. That rain scene.’ Your grip tightens around the glass. The rain scene. You were there. Back when “we” still meant something. Holding her coat between takes, watching her shiver between scripted heartbreaks. ‘She always cried pretty,’ you murmur. ‘Even back then.’ Roach nods, takes a sip. ‘Tell me about it.’ You do. You don’t mean to, but you do. ‘Nothing to tell,’ you start. ‘I was nobody. She was becoming somebody. Simple math.’ ‘That’s not what I heard.’ ‘Yeah? What’d you hear?’ ‘That you proposed. Night before Seoul.’ The beer sours in your mouth. ‘Who told you that?’ ‘Does it matter? True though, isn’t it?’ You let out something that’s supposed to be a laugh. ‘Got the ring from my grandmother. Vintage Tiffany, art deco. Yujin loved vintage.’ ‘And?’ ‘And she cried. Not the pretty kind.’ You see it now, clear as the night it happened—her shaking hands, the way she pressed the box back into yours like it burned. ‘Said she couldn’t. Said she wasn't ready. I guess that was the foreshadowing: she broke up with me just a week later.’ ‘A choice between you and fame?’ ‘Between real life and the life she’d dreamed of since she was six. No contest, really.’ Roach doesn’t speak for a while. Just stares at the bar like it’s holding the right words. ‘Where’s the ring now?’ You smirk, but it tastes like blood. ‘Pawned it. Bought a week of blackout drunk and a ticket anywhere else.’ Roach exhales, long and low. His eyes flick to your watch, but nothing gold can compare to what you lost. ‘And here you are.’ ‘Here I am.’ Bass pulses through the walls, someone screams about love on the dance floor, and the bartender slides another drink toward you like it might fix anything. Roach downs the rest of his flask, claps a hand on your shoulder. ‘Well. Good luck with that. Got a missus waiting. Let me know when you find one.’ You don’t look at him. ‘We might never speak again.’ ‘Doubt that.’ A pat on the back, one final grin. Then he’s gone. You scoff. If ever. And you leave.
—
Seoul in summer is a thing that sticks. To your skin, to your thoughts, to the spaces between breath. Heat rises off the pavement, thick and wet, settling in your lungs like something permanent.
The city is wide awake, but softer at this hour. Convenience store fluorescents hover in the humidity, blurring edges. Subway vents exhale something metallic, ghostly. The crickets don’t know they live in a city. They just keep singing.
You walk. Not home, not anywhere. Just walking, because it’s better than stopping.
Stopping means remembering.
Every street corner holds a version of her. The Yujin who stole fries off your plate, who could sleep through a fireworks show, who once convinced you that every ice cream cone tasted better if it was half-melted. She’s there, tucked into flickering billboards, frozen mid-laugh on subway ads, threaded between the chords of songs you don’t mean to hear.
You take the long way. Five, six corners. Maybe more.
Then the bus stop appears.
Half-forgotten. Almost overgrown. A bench with its paint peeling like old skin, weeds curling around the edges like they might swallow it whole.
You sit. Elbows on knees. Hands folded. Thinking. Not thinking.
The streetlight buzzes. The air is thick with waiting.
Then—
A shadow falls across your feet.
A shift in pressure. Not wind, just something. The moment before a storm, before impact, before memory collides with the present and makes a mess of everything.
‘What are you doing here?’ Soft. Not a blade, not a wound. Just a question that lands like an old habit.
You don’t need to look. But you do. Because some habits don’t break.
Yujin stands there, framed by sodium light, hands tucked into the pockets of a hoodie that looks too soft to exist. No cameras. No entourage. Just her.
And god—just her is enough to knock the breath out of your chest.
‘Hiding?’ Soft. Like the question isn’t a question, just something to fill the space between heartbeats.
You don’t look up right away. You know the shape of her. You’ve spent years knowing it. The way she stands, weight slightly to one side. The way her voice lands, gentle, edged with something only you ever got to hear.
But you look anyway. Because it’s her. And some rules of the universe don’t change.
Yujin.
Not the Yujin on billboards, the Yujin on magazine covers, the Yujin who belongs to a nation that adores her.
Just Yujin.
Hair a little messy. Hoodie swallowing her frame. Hands tucked into the sleeves like she’s bracing against a cold that doesn’t exist.
And—god. Her eyes. Still warm. Still familiar. Still Dunsan-dong in their quiet, endless way.
She tilts her head. Smiles. The kind of smile that makes you feel seventeen again, like you just said something stupid and brilliant in the same breath.
‘Hiding?’ she repeats, softer this time.
‘Hiding implies I have something to hide from.’
‘And do you?’
A pause. Then—
‘Maybe.’
A hum. A small shift in weight. Then she sits. Just like that. No asking, no hesitation. Just sits, close enough that her knee brushes yours, like muscle memory, like the past hasn’t completely given up on you yet.
The air smells like street food, like summer. Somewhere, a neon sign hums its last flickers before shutting off for the night.
She bumps her shoulder against yours.
‘Missed you, you know.’
You turn your head. Blink. She’s watching you, like the sentence wasn’t a trap, wasn’t something heavy. Just… true.
You swallow.
‘Yeah?’
She nods, pulling her sleeves over her hands. ‘Yeah.’
The night stretches. Not awkward. Not tight with something unspoken. Just easy. Just… there.
‘How’s life?’ she asks.
‘Oh, you know. Full of bad choices.’
‘Any good ones?’
‘Still deciding.’
She breathes out a laugh, soft.
You glance at her, at the curve of her nose, the way she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear like she’s done since she was a kid.
‘You look…’ she starts, then tilts her head.
‘What?’
‘The same.’
You huff a laugh. ‘That’s a lie.’
‘No.’ She nudges your knee again. ‘You’re just… still you.’
And it’s so simple, the way she says it. So casual, like she hasn’t just pulled the breath from your lungs.
You don’t answer. Not yet.
She leans in slightly.
‘Still drink too much coffee?’
‘Still sleep through earthquakes?’
Her grin widens. ‘Still remember that?’
‘Some things don’t change.’
‘Some do.’
A small shift. A glance. A fraction closer.
And the city moves around you, oblivious.
But you?
You stay still.
You stay here.
Yujin sighs, long and soft, tilting her head back, watching the streetlight cast flickering halos through the humidity.
‘Seoul’s different at night,’ she murmurs. ‘Seoul’s different all the time.’
She hums, half in agreement, half just because she likes the sound. You forgot about that—the way she used to make tiny noises when she was thinking, little musical notes that filled in the gaps between words.
‘Feels slower now,’ she says. ‘That’s just you.’ She turns to you, eyes warm. ‘Yeah?’ You nod. ‘Everything moves too fast for you these days. You forgot what slow feels like.’ A small smile. ‘Remind me?’ Something tightens in your chest. She doesn’t mean it like that. Doesn’t mean it like anything more than what it is—a quiet moment, a quiet ask. But still. You shift, leaning back against the bench, stretching your arms across the top like you own the night. Like it doesn’t own you. ‘Alright,’ you say. ‘Lesson one: sitting still.’ She huffs a laugh but follows your lead, sinking deeper into the wood, legs stretching out. Her foot knocks against yours. ‘Like this?’ ‘Yeah.’ A beat. ‘And then what?’ ‘Nothing.’ She raises a brow. ‘That’s it?’ ‘That’s it.’ She exhales, slow and thoughtful. ‘You always made things feel easy,’ she says, voice quiet, like she’s afraid of disrupting the moment. You glance at her, and she’s not looking at you—just at the night, at the city, at something only she can see. ‘Not sure that’s true,’ you admit. ‘No, it is.’ She pulls her sleeves over her hands again, eyes flicking toward you. ‘You made me feel easy. Like… breathing.’ Something inside you curls at the edges. ‘Yujin—’ ‘It’s okay.’ She shakes her head, soft, smiling like she’s telling you not to carry it too heavily. ‘I’m just remembering.’ The city hums around you both. A distant motorbike rumbles past. Somewhere, an old radio plays a song you half recognize. You look at her again. Hair slightly mussed. Eyes bright, soft, familiar. Like she was never gone at all. She shifts, tucking one leg under the other, hands still hidden in her sleeves.
‘You ever think about calling?’ Her voice is light. Not demanding. Not accusing. Just... wondering. You let out a slow breath. ‘You ever think about picking up?’ A small laugh, exhale-soft. ‘Yeah.’ You glance at her, and she’s already looking at you, chin propped against her knee, smile barely-there but real. ‘But I figured you needed time,’ she says. You swallow. ‘Did I?’ Her fingers twitch against the fabric of her hoodie. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I just told myself that so I wouldn’t call.’ The honesty knocks something loose in your chest. You don’t say anything for a moment. The city moves around you both, neon humming against the wet pavement, the smell of night air thick with too many things. Then, quietly— ‘Three years is a long time, Yujin.’ ‘I know.’
She shifts, slow, careful, like she’s turning over a fragile thought in her hands. ‘But I never wanted it to be forever.’ Your throat tightens. You want to ask her then why did you leave like it was? But you don’t. Because you already know the answer. Because she was always meant for something bigger. Because she was scared, because you were scared, because maybe—just maybe—back then, love wasn’t enough to hold everything steady.
Instead, you say, ‘You look good, you know.’ Her lips curve, soft. ‘You do too.’ You scoff, tipping your head back against the bench. ‘Liar.’ ‘I never lied to you.’ That shuts you up. For a moment, you let it sink in. The weight of her voice, the way she says it like it’s a fact, like it’s something you should’ve never doubted. Then, softer— ‘You really never called?’ she asks. ‘I really never called.’ She doesn’t look away. ‘Why?’ You inhale. Let the air sit heavy in your lungs. ‘Because I thought you’d be better off without me.’ The words land, quiet and unpolished. Yujin blinks. Then— ‘You idiot.’ And then she’s moving, shifting closer, her fingers finding your sleeve, gripping just slightly, just enough for you to feel her there, to feel her warmth against the fabric. ‘Do you know how many times I almost showed up at your door?’ she says, voice soft but steady. ‘How many times I wanted to tell you that I was still here? That I—’ She stops. Exhales. Looks away, looks back. ‘That I missed you?’ You swallow. She’s close now. Not quite touching, but nearly. The air between you charged, something slow, something waiting. Your heart does something complicated in your chest. ‘You missed me?’ you murmur. Yujin smiles, small, fond. ‘Of course, you idiot.’ The city hums. The night exhales. And you— You don’t move away. Yujin stays close. Close enough for you to count her breaths, to feel the warmth of her body radiating through the space between you. You should say something. You should do something. Instead, you just sit there. And Yujin—Yujin lets you.
Her fingers stay curled into your sleeve, loose but certain. Like she’s testing gravity, checking to see if you’ll stay, if you’ll shift, if you’ll remind her that you’re real. She tilts her head, watching you the way she used to—like she’s memorizing you, like she’s trying to fit you back into the version of her life where you were always supposed to be. And maybe she is. Maybe she’s wondering how you look the same but feel different. Maybe she’s cataloging the way your shoulders have set a little heavier, the way your mouth curves in thought before you speak. Or maybe she’s just looking. Like she never stopped. ‘So,’ she says, voice light, careful. ‘What now?’ A question too big for this moment. A question you can’t answer, not yet. So you do what you always do. You deflect. You lean back, arms stretching across the top of the bench, looking at her out of the corner of your eye. ‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’ She lifts a brow. ‘You were always the planner.’ She snorts. ‘Hardly.’ ‘Oh? I seem to remember someone who had color-coded schedules for summer break.’ ‘That was one summer.’
‘Still counts.’ She exhales a laugh, tipping her head back against the bench, looking up at the sky. ‘Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little obsessed with plans.’ ‘A little?’
She shoots you a look, but it’s all warmth. All familiarity. ‘You liked it,’ she says. ‘It was efficient. It was cute.’
You hesitate. Just slightly. But she catches it. Of course she does. Her smile softens.
‘You can say it, you know.’ You tilt your head, pretending to be confused. ‘Say what?’ ‘That you missed me too.’
Something about the way she says it makes your stomach pull tight. Not teasing. Not fishing. Just true. You turn back to the street, watching the way the neon catches in the puddles, turning them into something like galaxies.
‘You already know.’ Yujin hums. ‘I want to hear it anyway.’ You exhale.
Three years of distance. Three years of silence. Three years of trying to unwrite the part of your life where she belonged.
‘Yeah,’ you say, voice quiet. ‘I missed you.’
Yujin doesn’t say anything right away. Then—
Her hand slides fully into your sleeve, warm against your wrist. A small thing. A quiet thing. But it’s enough.
‘Good,’ she murmurs.
You sit there like that for a while. Neither of you moving. Neither of you pulling away. And for the first time in years—
The silence between you doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a beginning.
Her hand stays there. Not gripping. Not holding. Just resting, warm against your wrist, like it belongs there. Like it never left.
You let out a slow breath. Three years. Three whole years. And somehow, this—her, the quiet press of her skin against yours, the way she’s just here—feels so natural it makes your ribs ache.
‘What are we doing, Yujin?’
Soft. Not accusing. Just—just needing to know if she feels it too, if this night is supposed to mean what you think it does.
She tilts her head, slow. Her hair slips over her shoulder, catching the streetlight in its strands. ‘Talking?’
A small, careful smile.
You huff. ‘Is that what this is?’
She hums, shifts a little closer, foot knocking against yours. ‘I don’t know. Feels nice, though.’
Nice. Nice, like it isn’t everything. Nice, like you aren’t suddenly breathing her in again, like your body hasn’t been on high alert since the moment she walked into your orbit tonight.
You roll your wrist slightly, just enough so that your fingers brush hers. She doesn’t pull away.
The city hums. The night exhales. And then—
‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ she asks.
It’s an easy question. A simple one. But something about it knots itself into your chest, makes your throat tight. Because that’s always how it was with her. Yujin never asked for big things. Just small ones, one after another, adding up to something impossible to resist.
Do you want to get ice cream? Do you want to climb onto the roof? Do you want to watch the rain with me? Do you want to stay?
And you had always said yes.
You glance at her now, at the way she’s watching you, hopeful but not pushing, patient in the way only she could ever be. A walk. A moment. A step toward something you don’t quite know how to name.
You exhale, slow. Then you stand.
‘Lead the way.’
Her smile—god. Her smile.
She slips her hand fully into yours, easy, thoughtless, like muscle memory. Like no time has passed at all.
And you— You let her.
The street hums around you, the last traces of night shifting toward something softer. The vendors have mostly packed up, but the scent of grilled meat and frying oil still lingers, floating warm through the thick summer air.
Yujin’s hand stays in yours. Not tight. Not hesitant. Just there. Like it was always meant to be.
You walk without direction. Just moving, side by side, the way you used to. Her footsteps match yours easily, a quiet sync neither of you planned.
‘Where are we going?’ you ask, voice low.
‘Nowhere,’ she says.
It makes you smile.
A few years ago, that answer would have annoyed her. Yujin, the girl with color-coded schedules, with plans so detailed they might as well have been carved into stone. But now she just says it like it’s enough. Like it’s the whole point.
She swings your hands slightly, absentminded. ‘You always walked like this,’ she murmurs.
‘Like what?’
She shrugs. ‘Like the city doesn’t own you.’
You breathe in, slow. The neon of old convenience stores, the occasional flickering of a streetlamp. ‘I guess I never let it.’
She hums. ‘I did.’
You glance at her. ‘Yujin—’
‘It’s okay,’ she cuts in, smiling. ‘I wanted to. I just—’ She exhales, presses her lips together for a moment, then shakes her head. ‘I forgot how good it feels to walk like this. Without thinking.’
You squeeze her hand just slightly.
She notices. Her thumb brushes the edge of your palm. Not an accident. Not a mistake.
The city stretches ahead of you, quiet. ‘You ever think about coming back?’ you ask.
She doesn’t answer right away. Her fingers tighten around yours, just a little.
‘I used to dream about it,’ she says, voice softer now. ‘I’d wake up thinking I was still in Dunsan-dong. That I’d step outside and find you waiting, like always.’
Your throat goes tight. She turns her head, studies your face in the flickering light.
‘But I was scared,’ she says, gentle. ‘What if you were different? What if I was?’
You don’t look away. ‘And now?’
A breath. A small, small smile. ‘I think I was scared of the wrong thing.’
Your heart stumbles.
She slows, pulling you toward the edge of the sidewalk, toward a tiny park that barely qualifies as a park—a patch of grass, a few trees. The kind of place nobody notices. She stops. Turns to face you.
You should say something. You should say everything.
But she beats you to it.
‘You were always the best part of my life,’ she says, voice steady, firm, like she’s decided something for herself.
Your pulse jumps. ‘Yujin—’
‘I just needed you to know that.’
She’s looking at you like she’s bracing for impact. Like she’s not sure what you’ll do with this thing she’s handing you.
So you take it. Carefully, quietly, the way she deserves.
You lift your hand—the one she’s not holding—and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath catches.
‘Yeah?’ you murmur.
She nods.
And then, softer—
‘I think you were always mine.’
You don’t know who moves first. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Because the next thing you know, her hands are on your face, and your mouth is against hers, and the whole city dissolves around you.
She tastes like everything you remember. Like fine tea and something sweeter, something that was always just hers. She presses closer, hands slipping down to your collar, holding you there like you might disappear.
You won’t. Not this time.
When you pull back, she’s breathing fast, forehead resting against yours. You smile.
‘Still walk like the city doesn’t own me?’ you murmur.
She laughs, breathless, and pulls you back in.
Yujin kisses like a memory you never let go of. Like muscle memory, like breathing. Like the space between your ribs was always meant to make room for her.
She pulls back, just enough for her nose to brush yours. Her breath is warm, uneven. Her hands are still curled into the collar of your shirt, holding, gripping, keeping.
You open your eyes. She’s already looking at you.
Not like the girl on the billboards, not like the actress on screen. Just Yujin. Soft, real, right here.
Her lips are pink and kiss-bitten. She blinks slowly, dazed, like she’s trying to piece together what just happened. And then—
Then she laughs.
Not a big laugh. Not loud. Just this tiny, incredulous little sound. Like she can’t believe it. Like she can’t believe you.
‘What?’ you murmur.
She shakes her head, smiling, fingers still resting against your collar. ‘I don’t know.’
‘That’s a first.’
She huffs. ‘Shut up.’
‘Make me.’
A flicker of something in her eyes. Amusement. Mischief. Something else.
She tilts her head, considering. Then, in one slow movement, she leans in—
Not kissing you, not quite. Just close enough that her lips barely graze yours. Close enough that you can feel her smile.
‘Tempting,’ she murmurs.
Your heart stumbles.
But then she pulls away, slipping her fingers from your shirt, stepping back onto the sidewalk, like she’s giving you space to breathe.
You don’t need it. But you let her.
The city hums around you, the distant rumble of a car engine, the occasional flicker of neon against damp pavement.
You watch as Yujin tilts her head toward the sky, stretching her arms out, exhaling like she’s just remembered how.
‘I forgot what this feels like,’ she admits.
‘What?’
‘Not thinking.’ She lets her hands drop to her sides, flexing her fingers. ‘Not planning every second of my life in advance. Just… being.’
You shift, watching her.
‘I don’t think I’ve done that in years,’ she says.
A pause. Then, softly—
‘Stay with me.’
Your heart does something complicated in your chest.
She looks over, a little hesitant now, like she’s not sure how the words sound out loud.
‘I mean—’ she starts, but you shake your head.
‘Okay.’
Her lips part slightly.
Like she expected you to hesitate. Like she thought she’d have to convince you.
You step closer. Just enough that the space between you disappears again.
‘Okay?’ she echoes.
You nod.
Then, quieter—‘Anywhere.’
Yujin’s face softens.
And god, it’s so easy, the way she looks at you. Like you are something known. Like she is something understood.
She lets out a small, breathy laugh, reaching up to brush her thumb against the corner of your mouth.
‘You’re so stupid,’ she murmurs.
‘You love it.’
‘Yeah,’ she says, shaking her head. ‘Yeah, I do.’
She slips her hand back into yours, fingers threading together like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like she never left. Like you never let her.
And the city stretches ahead, wide open, waiting.
You should take a taxi. That would be the smart thing. A quiet, unremarkable way to disappear from the city before someone notices Korea’s brightest star walking hand-in-hand with someone who isn’t famous, isn’t scripted, isn’t anything but hers.
But Yujin shakes her head.
‘Not yet,’ she says.
So you walk.
She keeps close, hood pulled low, fingers curled into yours. The streets are thinning out, the city exhaling into its quieter hours. The air smells like fried oil and pavement, the ghosts of dinner service still hanging in the air.
She bumps into you once, then twice.
‘Are you always this bad at walking?’ you ask.
She grins, breathless. ‘I think I forgot how to do it with company.’
Company. Company.
You’re not sure if you’re relieved of that; that she was too busy to even meander through lazy lovers.
You squeeze her hand. She squeezes back.
Your place isn’t far, but when you reach it—when Yujin stops at the entrance, tilting her head back to take it all in—something shifts.
‘Huh.’
That’s all she says.
You fight a smirk. ‘Huh?’
She makes a small noise, arms crossed, like she’s trying not to look impressed.
‘You kept acting like you lived in a shoebox.’
You raise a brow. ‘Did I?’
‘Yeah.’ She gestures vaguely to the high-rise, the massive glass windows catching the city lights. ‘I was expecting something small. Modest. Maybe a bachelor pad with an ugly couch and a tragic little coffee table.’
You scoff. ‘What do you take me for?’
‘A very humble man, apparently.’
You shake your head, leading her inside.
The elevator is empty. Too bright. Too quiet.
She rocks on her heels. ‘So, do I get the grand tour?’
‘I don’t know,’ you say, pretending to think. ‘You might not be able to handle it. Very overwhelming.’
She elbows you in the side, laughing. ‘Shut up.’
The doors slide open.
She steps out first, into the hallway, waiting while you fish your keys from your pocket.
She glances over. ‘I still can’t believe you live here.’
‘Why?’
She shrugs. ‘It’s just weird.’
‘Weird how?’
She scrunches her nose, like she doesn’t quite know how to explain it. ‘I don’t know. You just never cared about stuff like this.’
You unlock the door.
She steps inside.
And immediately—
‘Oh my god.’
You roll your eyes, shutting the door behind you. ‘What now?’
She turns in a slow circle, taking everything in. The high ceilings, the floor-to-ceiling windows, the soft lighting that spills across the polished wood.
‘Are you kidding?’ she says, spinning toward you, mouth open in faux outrage. ‘This is beautiful.’
You snort. ‘What, you thought I was sleeping in a broom closet?’
‘Yes.’
‘Wow. Faith in me is strong, I see.’
She grins, moving toward the living room. ‘No, it’s just—’ She shakes her head, fingers brushing over the back of the sleek, perfectly chosen couch. ‘You were always so… comfortable with less. I figured, even if you had money, you’d still live like some struggling artist in a shoebox.’
You scoff, kicking off your shoes. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘Like, I don’t know, sleeping on a mattress on the floor. A single sad chair. Stacks of books everywhere.’
You raise a brow. ‘So your image of me is basically a broke philosophy major?’
She shrugs. ‘It suited you.’
You exhale a laugh.
‘But this,’ she gestures around again, ‘this is… grown-up.’
‘Was I not grown-up before?’
She grins. ‘No.’
‘Wow.’
‘But,’ she continues, stepping toward the floor-to-ceiling windows, where the city spills out in front of her like a living, breathing thing, ‘I like it. It feels like you.’
You pause.
Not expensive. Not fancy. Not over-the-top.
It feels like you.
You scratch the back of your neck, looking away.
‘Yeah?’
She nods. ‘Yeah.’
She turns back to the glass, resting her fingers lightly against the frame. ‘You can see the river from here.’
You step up beside her.
It’s a view you see every day, but somehow, with Yujin here, it looks different.
She breathes in. ‘It’s nice.’
You breathe her in.
‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It is.’
She turns.
And then she kisses you.
Not careful. Not planned.
Just Yujin.
She tilts her head, presses up slightly on her toes, and meets your mouth with something warm, something easy.
It’s not perfect.
She misses, just slightly. Laughs into the kiss. Her hands fumble for your collar but find your wrist instead.
But god—
It’s real.
You breathe her in. Hold her waist. Feel her fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt like she’s trying to pull you closer, closer.
She hums against your lips, smiling.
You grin. ‘You missed.’
She exhales a laugh. ‘Shut up.’
‘Make me.’
She does.
The kisses are clumsy, messy, soft. The kind that happens when two people are trying to remember, trying to relearn each other in real-time.
She tugs at your shirt.
You trip over the edge of the couch.
She gasps.
You land in a heap, tangled together, breathless.
Silence.
Then—
She laughs.
Bright, full, head tipped back against your chest.
You groan, letting your head fall back against the cushions. ‘Unbelievable.’
She grins, shifting so she’s straddling your lap. ‘I don’t know, I think it’s fitting.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yeah.’ She leans in, pressing her forehead against yours. ‘Clumsy love suits us.’
Your breath catches.
Then, softer—
‘Yeah,’ you murmur. ‘It does.’
She cups your face, fingers warm against your jaw.
The city hums outside, unaware.
And you—
You stay here.
With her.
You don’t know who says it first.
Maybe her. Maybe you. Maybe neither of you—maybe it’s just implied, wrapped up in the way she’s still sitting in your lap, fingers absently tracing patterns over your collarbone, skin warm against yours.
But at some point, between the teasing and the breathless little ohs that slip between kisses, it just becomes a fact.
You’re both too warm.
Too sticky from the night air, from walking too long through humid Seoul streets, from the thick summer heat pressing against the glass of your windows.
‘Shower,’ she murmurs.
You’re not sure if it’s a request or a declaration, but either way—
‘Yeah,’ you say.
And then you’re moving.
Yujin laughs when you lift her off the couch, stumbling slightly as you navigate through the apartment. She doesn’t let go, arms slung loosely around your neck, breath warm against your ear.
‘Are you always this dramatic?’ she asks.
‘You love it.’
She hums, not denying it.
The bathroom is bright, too bright, the kind of brightness that makes everything feel a little more real than you’re prepared for. But Yujin doesn’t hesitate—just pulls her hoodie over her head, shakes her hair out, steps closer like she’s done this a thousand times.
Like she’s never left.
You watch as she turns toward the mirror, tilting her head slightly.
‘Haven’t been in a place like this in a while,’ she muses.
‘A bathroom?’
She snorts, shoving you lightly. ‘No, this kind of bathroom.’ She waves a hand vaguely, indicating the open shower, the marble walls, the soft lighting. ‘It’s fancy.’
You roll your eyes, reaching for the faucet. ‘You act like you don’t stay in five-star hotels every week.’
‘That’s different.’
‘How?’
She steps behind you, pressing her chin against your shoulder. ‘This feels like you.’
You don’t know what to say to that.
So you don’t say anything at all.
The water warms between your fingers, steam rising slowly.
Yujin hums, stepping forward, slipping her fingers under the hem of your shirt. ‘Come on.’
You don’t move.
She looks up, amused. ‘What, suddenly shy?’
You scoff, shaking your head, but your pulse jumps when her fingers skate lightly against your stomach.
She grins. ‘Cute.’
‘What is?’
‘Three years apart, and you’re still so you.’
You exhale a laugh, finally pulling your shirt over your head. She does the same, tossing her clothes into a messy pile, and then—
Then it’s just you and her, standing too close, bare skin meeting for the first time in what feels like forever.
Her breath catches.
You hear it. Feel it.
And god—
She’s so beautiful.
All golden skin and soft curves and the kind of warmth that could make the whole city feel like home.
She watches you, expectant, waiting.
You don’t make her wait long.
You reach for her—
And she lets you.
Lets you pull her in, lets you kiss her slow, deep, careful, like you’re memorizing her all over again.
She sighs into your mouth, hands trailing up your arms, curling into your hair.
‘Come on,’ she whispers.
And this time—
You listen.
The water is hot, almost too hot, but neither of you care.
Yujin steps under first, exhaling as the warmth rolls over her skin, tilting her head back so that her hair darkens, slick against her shoulders.
You’re distracted.
Too distracted.
Because—
Because she’s standing there, all bare skin and soft curves and Yujin, looking at you like she already knows exactly what you’re thinking.
‘Are you going to keep staring?’ she teases.
You swallow. ‘Maybe.’
She laughs, stepping forward, reaching for the shampoo.
You should move. Should help. Should do something.
But instead, you just—
Just watch.
The way she hums under her breath, the way she lathers the shampoo into her hair, fingers massaging small circles against her scalp.
You’re so lost in it, in her, that you don’t even realize she’s finished—
Until she suddenly turns, tilts her head, and smiles.
‘Come here.’
You don’t hesitate.
She tugs you forward, fingers threading through your hair, working shampoo into your scalp like it’s something sacred, something worth taking her time with.
And god—
God, you forgot how good this feels.
Forgot what it was like to just be, to just exist under someone’s hands, to let yourself be cared for in a way that doesn’t feel heavy, doesn’t feel like a transaction.
Her fingers move slowly, carefully, her nails scraping lightly against your skin.
You close your eyes.
Breathe.
Let yourself lean into it.
Let yourself lean into her.
And she—
She lets you.
She’s still rinsing when you reach for her.
‘What—’
You shush her, hands skimming up her sides, guiding her under the water’s warmth.
She lets you.
Lets you tilt her chin slightly, lets you press a kiss just below her ear, lets you work your fingers into her hair like she’s something holy.
Her breath catches.
You hear it, feel it, let it sink into your bones.
‘Close your eyes,’ you murmur.
She hesitates—just a fraction of a second—then obeys.
The water slides down her face, over her lips, down the elegant curve of her throat.
You watch, transfixed.
Then you move.
You reach for the shampoo, work it between your hands, and Yujin’s confused—’Again?’—but when your fingers find her scalp—
She melts.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen her this undone.
Head tilted slightly, mouth parted, body soft beneath your touch.
She hums, a small, quiet sound, like she’s just remembered something she’d long forgotten.
You barely breathe.
Just keep going, keep moving, keep tracing slow, deliberate circles, letting your fingers tangle through her hair like it’s something sacred.
Because it is.
Because she is.
Yujin, the girl who never stopped moving, who never let herself stop thinking, who planned every step of her life down to the last decimal—
She’s still now.
Still, and warm, and yours.
You rinse the shampoo carefully, letting the water do the work. Your fingers trail down, down, past her neck, past her shoulders, past the delicate slip of her collarbone.
She sighs.
Leans into you.
Lets herself fall.
And god—
You’ll catch her.
Every time.
You reach for the soap next, work it slowly over her back, over her arms, over every inch of her that you can touch.
She exhales, barely above a whisper.
‘Feels nice.’
You smile.
‘Good.’
You don’t rush.
Not when she’s like this. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her with something as simple as this.
Your hands trail lower, down her spine, over the dip of her waist. She shifts slightly, breath hitching just a little.
You pause.
Press a kiss to her shoulder.
She shivers, but not from the cold.
‘This okay?’ you murmur.
Her fingers curl around your wrist, stopping you.
For a moment, you think she’s going to pull away—
But instead—
She guides your hand lower.
Presses it against the soft warmth of her stomach.
Holds it there.
She exhales, slow and deep. ‘Don’t stop.’ You don’t. God, you don’t. You let your hands move slowly, carefully, exploring her the way you’ve always wanted to—like she’s something to learn, something to understand. And Yujin— Yujin lets you.
She lets you wash away the last three years, lets you trace something new into her skin, lets you relearn every inch of her with soap and steam and careful, careful hands.
She turns in your arms, pressing her forehead against yours. The water slips between you, catching at the spaces where you don’t quite meet. She’s smiling. Soft. Sweet. Yours. You cup her face. She leans into it, eyes fluttering closed. For a long, long moment, neither of you move. You just stay. Right here. Right now. Like this. Like always. Then— She opens her eyes. And she kisses you.
The water trails down her spine in slow, careful rivers, catching in the dips of her back, rolling down the curve of her waist. You follow its path with your fingers, mapping her skin like something sacred, something known.
She doesn’t move. Just lets you touch. Lets you care.
You start with her back, palms gliding down the slope of her shoulders, the delicate stretch of muscle beneath warm, damp skin. Your thumbs press gently into the knots there, kneading, coaxing, working out tension she probably doesn’t even realize she’s holding.
She exhales, long and slow, tipping her head forward. ‘Mmm,’ she murmurs, voice thick with something close to sleep. ‘That feels good.’ You smile. Press your thumbs in a little deeper. Let your hands drift lower, following the curve of her spine, tracing each ridge, each shadow, each memory pressed into muscle. You smooth circles over her lower back, fingers pressing into the dimples there, trailing down— She shivers. Your hands pause. ‘Ticklish?’ you murmur.
She huffs a quiet laugh, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. ‘A little.’ You grin, but you don’t tease. Not now. Not when she’s letting you do this, letting you love her in the simplest, softest way. You reach for the soap, work it between your hands until it foams, and then— Then you really start. You start with her arms, sliding your palms over smooth, damp skin, tracing the delicate lines of muscle beneath. You lift her wrist, turning it over, running your fingers along the pulse point there. Her breath catches. You watch, mesmerized, as water beads along the inside of her forearm, trailing down to the soft bend of her elbow. ‘You’re so careful,’ she murmurs. You hum. ‘You deserve careful.’ Something flickers across her face. Something soft. She lets her fingers curl around yours. You smile. Run your hands over her stomach next, tracing the subtle rise and fall of each breath, the warmth of her, the realness of her. She shifts slightly, the movement pressing her closer, pressing skin to skin, pressing warmth to warmth. You exhale. Let your hands drift lower, over the curve of her waist, the dip of her hip, the length of her thigh. You take your time. Because she lets you. Because she wants you to. You kneel then, water rolling down your shoulders, down your back, pooling against your skin. You press your lips to her hip. She exhales, shaky, fingers threading into your hair. ‘You don’t have to—’ ‘I want to.’ You slide your hands over her legs, smoothing your palms down her thighs, over her calves, down to her ankles. She watches, breathing slow. You work the soap into her skin, rubbing warmth into her, sliding your thumbs up the backs of her knees, over the gentle curve of her calves. She sighs. Soft. Deep. Content. You let your fingers skim up again, over the dip of her waist, the gentle swell of her stomach, up— Up— To her chest. Her breath stutters. You pause. Look up. She’s already looking at you. Eyes dark, lips parted, cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. She lifts her hand, pressing it against yours. Guiding you. ‘Go on,’ she whispers. And you do. God, you do.
You cup her, trace the delicate slope of her, run your thumbs over warm, wet skin, over the soft peaks of her breasts, watching the way she reacts, the way she shivers under your touch.
Her lips part.
Her fingers tighten in your hair.
‘You’re—’ she starts, voice barely a breath, barely a sound. ‘You’re so—’
You stand.
Tilt her chin up.
Kiss her.
Not hungry. Not desperate.
Just deep.
Just certain.
Just her.
And when you pull back, pressing your forehead against hers, she exhales a laugh.
‘This is dangerous,’ she murmurs.
You smile. ‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
She lifts her arms, looping them around your neck, pulling you in, pressing against you, warm and wet and perfect.
And you—
You let her.
The steam rises. The water beads against her skin, gliding down slow, tracing paths over the soft slopes of her body, catching at the delicate points where warmth meets shadow, where light bends just so, where she is golden and bronze and endless.
You follow it.
With your eyes first, then with your hands.
Fingertips grazing along the soft valley of her stomach, skimming over her ribs, pressing gently into the places where she is most tender, most real. You watch the way the droplets gather at her collarbone, suspended for just a moment before slipping down, down, disappearing into the delicate dip between her breasts.
It feels unfair, almost, that something as simple as water gets to touch her like this before you do.
So you take its place.
Your lips find her collarbone first, brushing against the damp skin, warm and reverent. She exhales, tilting her head slightly, letting you have her like this, letting you take your time.
You do.
You always do.
Your mouth trails lower, following the path of the water, tracing its descent. You press a kiss against the gentle swell of her chest, right where her heart beats beneath, steady, certain, alive. You linger there, letting the moment stretch, letting yourself feel it, letting yourself remember what it’s like to love someone in a way that has nothing to do with time or distance or the years lost in between.
She breathes in, slow and deep, her fingers threading through your hair, nails scraping lightly against your scalp. Not pulling. Just holding.
And then you go lower.
The water clings to her, catching at the nipples, glistening like liquid gold against the dark-bronze warmth of her nipples. It drips, slow and deliberate, down the soft curve of her, over the places where she is most tender, most beautiful.
You chase it.
Your lips press to her sternum, then lower, following the water as it rolls over the swell of her breast, catching it before it can disappear.
She makes a sound then, a soft, breathy thing, like something breaking open inside her, like something unfolding, something giving way.
And god—
You love her like this.
Love the way she lets you worship her, the way she lets you press your mouth to her skin like it’s something sacred, like it’s something worth kneeling for.
You take your time.
You kiss along the curve of her, letting your tongue flick against her skin, letting yourself taste the warmth of her, the salt, the sweetness, the Yujin of her.
She trembles. Not much. Just a little. Just enough. You kiss the the peak of her breast—nipple, lips closing around the dark, glistening bronze of her, taking her between your lips like something meant to be savored. And she— She gasps. Soft. Sharp. Her fingers tighten in your hair, her back arching just slightly, just enough to press herself further into your mouth, to offer herself up like this, to let you take her in a way that feels like praise. The water slips between you, forgotten, but you don’t need it anymore. She is all the warmth you will ever need. And you— You are drowning. But you don’t mind. Not one bit.
You don’t know how long you stay like this—your mouth on her, your hands tracing slow worship into her skin, your tongue moving against the dark-bronze pebble of her like you’re tasting something sacred, something forbidden, something you never stopped craving.
She doesn’t rush you.
Just feels.
Just lets herself be felt.
Her fingers tremble against your scalp, gripping just enough to keep you grounded, to keep herself from falling apart entirely. The water sings against the tiles, drowning the rest of the world out, leaving just the sound of her soft gasps, her breath catching, the delicate whimper when your teeth graze over where she is most sensitive.
‘You’re—’ she tries, but the sentence breaks, dissolving into something else entirely.
You hum against her, half-smirking, half-dazed.
‘Say that again?’
She exhales sharply. Then, in a voice softer than the steam curling between you—
‘You’re ruining me.’
You smile against her skin.
‘Good.’
But then she’s moving.
Slow, steady, deliberate—sliding her hands down to your jaw, guiding you up, forcing your mouth away from her skin so she can see you again.
You lift your head, meeting her gaze, and god—
She looks like something devotional.
Like she’s burning and melting and breaking and remaking herself in the same moment.
And then she cups your face.
Runs her fingers down the sharp edge of your jaw, down your throat, down the planes of your chest like she’s trying to learn you all over again.
‘My turn,’ she whispers.
You exhale. ‘Yujin—’
But she’s already pressing her lips to your palm.
A slow, wet kiss against the skin there, warm and reverent.
You tense, watching the way she does it—how her mouth lingers, how her breath spills against your hand like she’s praying into it.
Then another.
And another.
Each kiss deliberate. Each one softer than the last.
Your fingers twitch.
Your heart stutters.
And Yujin—
Yujin just smiles.
Like she knows what she’s doing to you.
Like she knows the effect of her lips, her mouth, the heat of her pressing into you like this.
Then she goes lower.
Tracing fire against your wrist. Down to your forearm.
She’s taking her time.
Like she knows what’s coming. Like she wants you to feel every second of it before she even starts.
Softly, she lowers herself to the shower floor, folding her legs beneath her like someone praying—like someone preparing for something sacred. Water cascades over her, tracing the delicate angles of her face, slipping down her shoulders, clinging to her lashes. She doesn’t blink it away.
She looks up at you instead.
‘Just so you know,’ she murmurs, fingers curling around your thigh, pressing just hard enough to make you feel it, ‘I haven’t had this for three years.’
Your breath catches.
‘You poor thing.’
She hums, tilting her head slightly, eyes flickering with something playful, something edged with heat. ‘If only you called.’
Her grip tightens on your shaft—subtle, knowing, cruel.
Your pulse slams into your ribs.
‘Regretting everything as we speak,’ you manage, voice rough, because god—three years of waking up alone, three years of knowing what her body felt like against yours and still having to live without it, three years of not having this—
Yujin presses her lips to your hip, slow, warm, reverent.
‘Don’t,’ she whispers, breath ghosting over your skin. ‘From now on, let’s not waste a single breath.’
And that was that.
No more lost time. No more distance.
She presses another kiss, right below your navel. Cheating.
Your entire body tenses, twitches, a sharp current running through you.
She notices.
She smiles.
‘This is punishment,’ she murmurs.
Your fingers twitch against the tile. ‘For what?’
She looks up at you, lashes wet and mussed and dripping, lips parted just slightly—ruinous.
‘For almost forgetting me.’
Your jaw tightens. ‘That’s blasphemy.’
‘Is it?’
‘Every waking moment, every—’
Her hand slides along your wet shaft. Tight. Destitution incarnate.
You stumble against the back wall.
She grins, a little smug, a little knowing, a little dangerous.
‘I don’t want excuses,’ she says softly.
And then—
Then she presses another kiss, open-mouthed, slow, dangerous, right where on the tip of your cock—collecting whatever desperation you had bottled up.
You let out a slow, shaky breath.
She hums against you. Then, another kiss.
‘This,’ she says, hands curling against your hips, ‘is mine.’
And god, you believe her.
You always have.
Her mouth forms a tight ring right on your tip. She’s sucking everything out of you. Caring not for a single second how much this ruins you, how your knees intend to buckle.  
The cool wall slides against your back, and her mouth gentles now—less tight, slower, deliberate. Her lips part, wet and swollen, spit-strung as they glide over the flushed head of you. A slick sound escapes her, obscene and tender. You feel every ridge of her tongue, every warm drag, the way her saliva pools and drips down the length of you. She moans softly, and the vibration travels straight to your gut.
‘Easy,’ you rasp, fingers threading into her hair—not to push, but to feel. To guide her rhythm, your thumb brushing the shell of her ear. ‘Just like that…’
She obeys, but not meekly. Her eyes flick up, dark and gleaming through her lashes, her lips a glistening ring around you. The head glistens under the shower’s spray, spit-slick and ruddy, and when she pulls back just to breathe, a thin strand of saliva stretches between her bottom lip and your tip. She watches you watch it snap.
‘Yujin—’
‘Shhh.’ Her breath ghosts over the wetness she’s made, cooling the heat. ‘Let me.’
Her tongue swipes the slit, slow, too slow, and your hips jerk. She laughs—a soft, husky thing—and catches the bead of precum with her thumb. Holds your gaze as she sucks it clean.
‘All those years,’ she murmurs, nuzzling the inside of your thigh. Her voice is a frayed ribbon. ‘You let this ache. Let it go untouched. Why?’
You tighten your grip in her hair, not harsh, but present. ‘You know why.’
She hums, lips pressing to the vein throbbing beneath the skin. ‘Tell me anyway.’
‘Because it was yours.’ The admission tears free, raw. ‘Even when you weren’t.’
Her breath hitches. For a heartbeat, her composure cracks—lips parting, eyes glassy. Then she surges forward, taking you deep, deep, until your tip brushes the back of her throat. Her nose presses into your pelvis, her cheeks hollowed, and the wetness is overwhelming. Spit spills down her chin, drips onto the shower floor. You watch, wrecked, as she works you with a reverence that borders on worship.
‘God—Yujin—’
She pulls off with a gasp, lips swollen and slick. ‘Look at me.’
You do. Her face is flushed, water clinging to her lashes, hair plastered to her neck. Ruin has never looked so soft.
‘Never again,’ she whispers, palm cradling your jaw. ‘You don’t starve yourself. Not of this. Not of me.’
You nod, breathless, and she smiles—a fragile, aching thing—before bending again. Her mouth is softer now, languid, savoring. Every suck, every lick, pours honey into your veins. You let her take you apart, let her rebuild you, until the world narrows to her lips, her hands, the spit-slick sounds of her devotion.
The climax coils, inevitable—a wildfire in your spine, a tremor in your thighs. You feel it there, the precipice, and your hands fly to her shoulders, gripping hard. ‘Yujin—wait—’
She resists at first, brows furrowed, lips sealed tight around you. But you tug her back gently, your cock slipping from her mouth with a wet pop, her lips swollen, glistening. Her confusion flickers only for a heartbeat before you fist your cock, rough and hurried, and the first hot stripe of release paints her cheek.
She gasps, eyes fluttering shut as the next pulse hits her chin, her throat, the tip catching her collarbone. Thick, pearly streaks splatter across her skin—her eyelids, the bridge of her nose, the bow of her top lip. A ragged moan tears from you as you empty yourself onto her, the mess pooling in the hollow of her throat, dripping down her sternum.
For a moment, she’s perfectly still, breath held, face tilted up as if in prayer. Then her tongue darts out, just once, catching the spill on her lip—not to taste, but to feel, to savor the proof. Her eyes open slowly, lashes sticky, gaze molten.
For a second, she just blinks.
One eye.
The other one is… well.
You watch her process it in real time.
Her lips part slightly, her breath still uneven, chest rising and falling as she takes in exactly what’s happened. Your release is everywhere—everywhere—glossing her cheekbones, slipping down the slope of her throat, pooling in the dip of her collarbone like some kind of offering.
She tilts her head. Blinks again.
‘Oh.’
Then she laughs.
A breathy, disbelieving sound, half-amused, half-are-you-kidding-me?
You’re still pressed against the shower wall, still trying to function, your brain short-circuiting between the mess you’ve made of her and the fact that she’s actually—laughing.
‘You—’ she starts, touching her cheek, then stopping, fingers hesitating before they smear through the mess, ‘—you got it in my hair.’
She looks up at you then, eyes bright, glistening—partly from you, partly from water, partly from the sheer absurdity of this situation.
You swallow, still breathless. ‘Uh.’
She blinks. A slow, lazy flutter of lashes.
Then her mouth quirks.
‘You should’ve warned me, you beast.’
You can’t help it—you laugh, too, scrubbing a hand down your face. ‘I tried. You didn’t stop—’
‘I was busy,’ she huffs, wiping at her cheek again. ‘And now I’m busy. Because look at me.’
You are.
You really, really are.
‘I mean—’ you gesture vaguely to her face, her throat, the trail of evidence marking everywhere she’s been—‘I think it’s a good look.’
She glares.
‘No, seriously. We could brand this. “Dewy Glow” or something. Sell it in high-end skincare stores. “Celebrity Secret.”’
She snorts, shoving at your thigh. ‘You absolute menace.’
And then—
‘Oh, wait.’
She freezes.
Her smile vanishes.
Her expression shifts into something far more serious.
‘Oh no.’
You blink. ‘What?’
She doesn’t say anything.
Just slowly, slowly, slowly raises a hand to her right eye.
You know what’s coming before she even speaks.
‘Oh my god, I can’t see.’
You wheeze. Actually wheeze.
She jabs a finger into your thigh. ‘Don’t—don’t laugh. This is serious. This is—I might never recover—’
‘Yujin.’ You’re still dying, but you reach for her anyway, cupping her face with both hands, thumbs swiping over her cheeks, carefully wiping away what you can. ‘Baby, blink—’
‘I am blinking.’ She’s being so dramatic about it, blinking furiously, tilting her face up to the water like it might cleanse her soul. ‘Oh my god. Oh my god.’
‘Okay, okay, come here—’
You guide her fully under the stream, hands in her hair, rubbing circles at her temples as she half-laughs, half-groans against your chest.
‘Three years, and this is how it goes?’
‘I mean,’ you murmur, fingers tracing down her jaw, ‘technically, this is a good thing. This means I really missed you.’
She gasps, smacking your chest. ‘That is not how this works.’
‘No, no, it is. You should be flattered.’
‘I am blinded.’
‘Listen, some people pay a lot of money for facials like this.’
‘Oh my god, shut up—’
She’s laughing now, still rubbing at her eye, still squinting slightly, but you tilt her face up, press your lips to her forehead, her nose, the water-warm curve of her cheek.
‘Here,’ you murmur, ‘let me see.’
She lets you, tilting her chin up, letting you wipe at her lashes, the bridge of her nose, the soft hollow under her eye. Your fingers are gentle, your touch slow, careful, as you rinse the last of it away.
Her hands find your ribs, gripping lightly, grounding herself.
‘I’m keeping score, you know,’ she murmurs, voice softer now.
You kiss her temple. ‘Yeah?’
She hums. ‘You owe me for this.’
You grin, pressing a kiss to her cheek. ‘I owe you?’
‘Mhm.’ Another soft blink, this one slower, more considering. ‘Big time.’
You exhale, pressing your forehead to hers. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’
She pulls back just enough to look at you, eyes warm, searching.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
A beat.
Then she grins, pressing a quick, mischievous kiss to your lips.
‘Good.’
And then—
‘Now help me get this out of my hair, you absolute monster.’
You laugh, tilting her back under the water, already reaching for the shampoo.
You barely make it out of the shower before Yujin is already reaching for a towel, scrubbing at her hair like she’s trying to erase all evidence of your existence.
You watch her, arms crossed, towel slung lazily over your shoulder. ‘You know, I could help with that.’
She gives you a look. A very specific you-are-the-reason-I’m-in-this-mess look.
‘You’ve helped enough,’ she mutters, aggressively drying her face.
You grin. ‘Want me to dry your back?’
‘No.’
‘Sure?’
‘I don’t trust you.’
You press a hand to your chest, mock-wounded. ‘I am offended by this blatant accusation.’
‘You are plotting something. I know that face.’
‘I literally only have one face, Yujin.’
‘Yeah. And I know it.’
She sighs, shoving her towel at you. ‘Fine. You want to be useful? Dry my hair. But no funny business.’
‘Define funny business.’
She glares.
You chuckle, grabbing another towel, stepping behind her. She exhales as you gently towel-dry her hair, rubbing slow, deliberate circles into her scalp.
Her head tilts slightly, unconsciously leaning into your touch.
You knew she’d enjoy this.
She hums, closing her eyes. ‘Okay. Maybe you can be trusted.’
‘Told you.’ You press a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘I am a professional.’
‘A professional nuisance.’
‘A professional lover.’
She snorts. ‘Oh my god, shut up.’
You grin, setting the towel aside, reaching for the hairdryer.
She shifts slightly in her seat. ‘Wait—’
‘Hm?’
She peeks up at you, tilting her head back, cheeks warm. ‘...I like it when you do it slow. With your hands.’
You pause.
Look down at her.
Oh.
Oh.
You set the hairdryer aside. ‘You should’ve said so earlier, baby.’
She exhales, smiling, closing her eyes again as your fingers slip into her hair, raking through the damp strands, slow and careful.
This is— This is intimacy in its simplest form. You, standing behind her, fingers combing through her hair, working through knots with gentle patience. Her, sitting still, trusting you, letting herself be taken care of. ‘You’re soft,’ you murmur, pressing another kiss to her temple. ‘Mm.’ Her shoulders relax completely. ‘Just don’t mess up my parting.’ You chuckle. ‘I’ll do my best.’ It takes a while—because you like taking your time with her—but eventually, her hair is dry, loose waves tumbling down her back. She stretches, arms overhead, and that’s when you realize— She’s still wearing your shirt. The one she stole post-shower, hanging off her like it was made for this moment.
You stare. Your thoughts are not wholesome. She catches you looking. Her lips curve. ‘You’re plotting something again,’ she says, amused. ‘Maybe.’ ‘You need to control yourself—’ ‘Nope.’ She laughs, batting you away when you attempt to grab her. ‘No. No, sir,’ she warns, scooting to the bed. ‘You said you’d be good.’ ‘Did I?’ ‘Yes. You did. You explicitly said you’d behave.’ ‘And you believed me?’ She pauses. Then groans, rubbing her face. ‘God, I’m an idiot.’ You grin. And then you pounce.
She yelps, barely managing to roll away before you trap her under you, laughing as she dodges your grabby hands.
‘No,’ she gasps between laughs, ‘we are doing the normal nighttime routine first!’ ‘This is the routine.’ ‘No it is not!’ You chase her across the bed. She giggles, swats at you, then suddenly—miraculously—manages to flip you over, straddling you with a triumphant grin. ‘HAH.’ She plants her hands on your chest. ‘Got you.’ You blink up at her. Pause. Then smirk. ‘Yujin,’ you murmur, voice low. ‘Baby.’ Her smile falters. ‘…What.’
You cup her waist, slowly sliding your hands up, over the fabric of your shirt, over the nothing she’s wearing underneath.
She realizes. Her eyes widen. ‘Wait—’ And then you flip her back over. She gasps. ‘Noooooo—’ You laugh, pinning her down, watching as she squirms, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with warmth and amusement. This. This is the routine. Laughter. Teasing. The way you move around each other like gravity has always existed between you. She exhales, chest rising and falling beneath you, fingers curling around your wrists. Her voice, when she speaks, is softer. ‘You win,’ she murmurs. You press your forehead to hers. ‘I always do.’ She sighs dramatically. ‘Ugh. Fine. Manhandle me, then.’ She’s still beneath you, chest rising and falling, fingers curled loosely around your wrists where you’ve pinned them. Her breath is quick, her pulse erratic, and you know it’s not just because of the weight of you pressing her into the mattress—it’s everything. The warmth between you, the years leading to this, the understanding that what’s about to happen isn’t just want, isn’t just release—it’s reclamation.
She swallows, lips parting slightly, pupils wide and dark in the low light. The dark strands of her hair are fanned across the pillow, tangled from your hands, a mess you’d memorize blindfolded. There’s a flush blooming across her chest, creeping up the column of her throat, a heat that you feel mirrored in yourself.
You watch her, watch the way she shifts slightly beneath you, pressing up just enough to remind you she’s waiting, waiting, waiting. You could draw this out forever. But that’s cruelty. Or maybe, maybe, that’s worship.
You press your lips to the tip of her nose, then her cheek, then down, trailing a path over her jaw, her throat, the faint dip between her collarbones. You can feel the hum of her laughter before she even releases it, a small breath of amusement, her fingers twitching against your hold'
‘You’re teasing,’ she murmurs, voice wrecked already. ‘No,’ you answer, dragging your mouth lower, tasting the salt of her skin. ‘I’m remembering.’
Because you are. You’re remembering the way her body curls into yours when she’s overwhelmed. You’re remembering the tiny, trembling exhales she makes when your hands slide over the slopes of her ribs. You’re remembering that she loves when you take your time, that she loves to be adored, that she wants to feel every inch of you.
And she is so easy to adore.
You shift lower, your hands tracing slow, lazy patterns down her sides, feeling the way her muscles twitch beneath your touch. The shape of her—long lines, soft curves, skin warm and impossibly smooth beneath your lips.
Your name escapes her in a breath, a barely-there sound that settles somewhere behind your ribs, inside your chest, like it belongs there.
You kiss lower. Down, down. Your fingers slip between her thighs, ghosting over her bare glistening pussy, and her breath stutters, a sharp intake that punches straight through your gut. ‘Look at you,’ you murmur, dragging your knuckles up the inside of her goosebump-ridden thigh. ‘Fidgeting.’ She doesn’t answer. Just glares, lashes damp, lips parted, so achingly beautiful you feel winded.
‘Is that frustration?’ you tease, dragging your mouth back up, scraping your teeth over her hip bone. ‘It’s—’ She exhales, trying for control. Fails. ‘It’s you taking too long.’ You hum. ‘I thought you liked it slow.’ ‘I do,’ she grits out. ‘But I also like it when you—’
Her voice catches as your fingers press a little harder into her. A single stroke, just enough to make her body jolt, enough to make her curse under her breath, enough to feel the sticky wetness of her—inside.
Then you do it again. And again. Until her hips are moving against your touch, until her nails bite into your shoulders, until her breath is a series of broken, unsteady exhalations, ‘Yes, yes, oh fuck~’
You kiss her then. Hard. Deep. Drinking in every shiver, every sound, every breathless plea she won’t voice but you understand anyway.
And then— Then, finally— Her thighs part wider, welcoming you; knees hooking around your hips, heels digging into the small of your back. You press your shaft along her golden-soft navel, hard enough to get her whimpering under the heat of your shaft. You drag slowly along her soft—yet firm—navel, coursing the map lower and lower—until the nub responsible for her heat—all swollen and beautiful and pink—meets your tip. She lets out a sudden whimper; She glares, and you press a kiss on her temple once again—sorry baby, sorry. At the end of the map, you feel the slick heat of her cunt against the head of your cock, her entrance fluttering, pulsing, as you grind around the clit in slow, torturous circles. Precum smears her folds, mingling with her arousal, the glide obscenely wet. ‘Fuck,’ she hisses, nails raking down your spine. ‘Stop—stop toying—’ You catch her wrist, pinning it above her head again. ‘No.’ Your other hand grips the base of your cock, guiding it through her slit, the swollen head catching on her clit with every pass. She jerks, a broken moan tearing free, her hips bucking—but you hold firm, denying her friction. ‘You wanted slow. This is slow.’ Her cunt weeps, glistening, her inner lips swollen and flushed. You watch, transfixed, as your cockhead nudges her entrance, spreading her open incrementally. A single inch sinks in, the velvety grip of her walls clenching reflexively, and you groan through gritted teeth. ‘Christ’ She whimpers, her clit throbbing against your shaft as you retreat, dragging your tip through her folds again. ‘Please—’ Her voice cracks, tears spilling down her temples. ‘Just—fuck me—’ You lean down, lips grazing hers. ‘Where?’ She glares, chest heaving. ‘You know—’ ‘Say it.’ ‘Inside—’ ‘Inside what?’ You press forward, another inch sheathed, the stretch burning sweet. ‘Use your words, Yujin.’ Her thighs tremble. ‘My—my cunt.’ ‘Good girl.’ You sink deeper, the thick ridge of your cockhead massaging her front wall, that spongy patch of nerves that makes her sob. Her cervix yields, soft and pliant, as you bottom out, hips flush against hers. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick muscle, and you swear, forehead dropping to her shoulder. ‘You’re gonna milk me dry—’ ‘Move,’ she demands, her ankles locking behind your back. ‘Move or I’ll—’ ‘You’ll what?’ You pull out almost completely, leaving just the tip seated, her clit rubbing against your shaft. ‘Beg?’ She keens, back arching, breasts pressed to your chest. ‘Yes—yes, god, please—’ You snap your hips forward, sheathing yourself in one brutal thrust. Her scream is muffled by your palm as you clamp it over her mouth, your other hand sliding between you to circle her clit. ‘Quiet,’ you growl, grinding deep. ‘You’ll take it. All of it.’ Her cunt ripples around you, fluttering in erratic pulses, her clit swollen and pebbled beneath your thumb. You fuck her with shallow, punishing rolls of your hips, each stroke dragging your cockhead over that sweet spot, her thighs shaking, her breath coming in ragged, choked gasps. ‘Look at me,’ you snarl, removing your hand from her mouth. She obeys, eyes glassy, lips bitten raw. ‘Whose cunt is this?’ ‘Yours—’ ‘And whose cock?’ ‘Mine—’ You slam into her, hilt-deep, your balls slapping her ass. ‘Louder—’ ‘MINE—’
The word cracks through the room, ragged and raw, and you reward it by slamming into her hilt-deep, your pelvis grinding against her clit as you still inside her. Her cunt clenches, a vice of slick heat, and you hiss through your teeth, your grip bruising on her hips. ‘Again,’ you demand, pulling out until only the swollen head of your cock remains lodged in her entrance. Her inner lips cling to you, reluctant to let go. She whines, back arching off the bed. ‘Yours—your cunt, your everything—’ You thrust back in, slow, savoring the way her walls ripple to accommodate you. ‘And what do you want?’ 'You,’ she gasps, nails carving half-moons into your shoulders. ‘Inside me—claiming me—’ 'How?' You drag your cockhead over that spongy patch of nerves again, deliberate, watching her thighs quake. 'Cum,' she begs, tears streaking her temples. 'Fill me—mark me—' You still, your hand sliding up to grip her throat—not restricting air, just owning. 'Ask nicely.' Her breath hitches. 'Please—please, I need it—need you to paint my insides white, need to feel it—' A dark thrill curls in your gut. You lean down, lips brushing hers. 'Since you asked so sweetly.' You start a brutal, precise rhythm—deep, grinding thrusts that punch the air from her lungs. Each snap of your hips drags her clit against the base of your cock, each retreat leaves her clenching around nothing. Her cunt weeps, arousal slicking your shaft, the obscene slap of skin on skin echoing off the walls. 'Look at me,' you snarl, tightening your grip on her throat. Her eyes fly open, hazy but obedient. 'You take me so well,' you murmur, your free hand sliding between you to circle her throbbing clit. 'This greedy cunt—my greedy cunt—sucking me in like you were made for it.'
She sobs, her walls fluttering. 'Yours—always yours—'
'Prove it.' You pin her wrists above her head with one hand, your other still working her clit. 'Come. Now.'
Her orgasm rips through her violently—back arched, cunt spasming, a scream tearing from her throat as she soaks your cock. You ride it out, fucking her through the pulses, your thrusts turning jagged, erratic.
'Mine,' you growl, feeling your balls tighten. 'Say it—say it—'
'Yours—god, yours—'
You slam into her one last time, hilt-deep, and hold. Your release surges—thick, hot ropes of cum flooding her cervix, painting her walls in stripes of white. She whimpers, oversensitive but greedy, her cunt milking every drop as you grind your hips in slow, possessive circles.
'Take it,' you grit out, watching her stomach quiver with the force of your spend. 'All of it.'
She nods, dazed, her thighs trembling around your waist. You collapse atop her, still buried inside, your lips finding the sweat-damp hollow of her throat.
—
Yujin’s lashes flutter against your chest, and there’s a moment where she seems to wrestle with something—embarrassment, vulnerability—but it dissolves when she feels your fingers tracing gentle circles against her back. She shifts, propping herself up just enough to look at you, her eyes dark and soft and entirely too honest.
‘You know,’ she whispers, voice almost shy, ‘I used to dream about this. You and me, like this. Just… here.’
‘Here?’ You brush a damp strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. ‘In bed, sweaty and gross?’
A soft laugh escapes her, warm and tender. ‘Yeah. Exactly this.’ Her fingertips graze your jaw, light as the touch of a memory. ‘I’d think about waking up to you, about how it’d feel to fall asleep in your arms. It’s stupid, I know—’
‘Not stupid,’ you murmur, cutting her off with a kiss—soft, lingering, like you’re trying to pour every unspoken word into it. ‘Never stupid.’
Her gaze softens even further, and she buries her face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent like it’s something she needs to breathe. You feel her lips press against your pulse, a delicate kiss that sends warmth flooding through you.
‘I don’t want to let you go,’ she confesses, voice muffled. ‘Not tonight. Not ever.’
‘Then don’t.’ You trail your fingers up and down her spine, feeling the subtle curve of her back beneath your touch. ‘Hold on to me. I’m not going anywhere.’
She shifts, looping her arms around your neck, pressing her body flush against yours. The contact is warm, grounding, and you let yourself sink into it, let yourself feel the weight of her, the steady thrum of her heartbeat against your chest.
‘You’re too good at this,’ she mumbles, the faintest hint of a pout in her voice. ‘Making me feel safe. Like I belong here.’
You tighten your hold on her, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. ‘You do belong here. With me. Always.’
Her breath shudders, and you feel her fingers clutch at your shoulders, like she’s afraid you might slip away. You press another kiss to her forehead, then her temple, then her cheek, each touch softer than the last.
‘Yujin,’ you whisper, and she looks up at you, eyes wide and glistening. ‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’
She smiles—a real, unguarded smile—and you feel the weight of it settle in your chest. She lifts herself up just enough to press a kiss to your lips, lingering, tender, unhurried. It’s a kiss that feels like a promise, like something that doesn’t need words to be understood.
When she pulls back, her face is flushed, her expression open and raw. ‘I love you,’ she says softly, the words so simple, so devastatingly sincere.
You cup her face, thumb brushing over her cheek. ‘I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.’
She settles against you, fitting herself into the curve of your body, her head resting against your chest. You stroke her hair, feeling the tension melt from her frame as she presses one last kiss to your heart.
The room is warm and heavy with the scent of you both, with the quiet weight of something real and unbreakable. You feel her breathing slow, her body growing heavy with sleep, and you let your own eyes drift shut, content to let the world narrow to the steady rise and fall of her breath.
And then—nothing. Just the two of you tangled together, warmth and closeness and the certainty that this, right here, is home.
—
a/n: Experimenting yet again. Hopefully the last sex scene wasn't too mortifying. But I really enjoyed writing this—Yujin's personality meshes really well with with the dialogue I was aiming to do (hopefully I succeeded). This was a half-finished draft that I managed to finish (through merging other drafts, other idols, et cetera et cetera), and now I don't have a single draft remaining; sooo... I don't know how this fares for the next fic (hopefully not too long..... haha..heh..he).
a/n 2: Much love for all the support: they never go unnoticed!!! <3333333
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whatisalive-if ¡ 7 months ago
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Things have been strange since your partner died. At night, there are footsteps in the hallway. Your dog has anxiously been shadowing you through the apartment. Your friends can’t help but feel nervous when they come over – feel observed and unwelcome. Sometimes, out of the corner of your eye, you see a dark shape. When you turn your head, there is nothing but the eerie stillness of a place that has been gutted of one of its inhabitants. There is a presence in your home, a memory so vivid it animates the shadows. Your brother calls it grief; you, however, know better. Unfortunately, the specter haunting you is not the worst thing intent on digging its teeth into you.
What is Alive is an interactive gothic novel developed in twine. It is rated 18+ for depictions of violence, stalking, murder, obsessive behavior, explicit language, and sexual themes. Customize your main character and try to make it out alive.
Characters
Elias/Eleanor, 26, RO
Your partner’s twin. Kind and steadfast, they are one of the few friends you have left after the tragic loss of your long-time partner upended your world. They have offered to move in with you, to fill the silence that now permeates your apartment, but you know they are struggling with their own grief.
The Ghost, ???, RO
It is always watching, always waiting. Attentive, adoring, deadly. The dead have nothing but time.
Demo: TBD.
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grugruel ¡ 1 year ago
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His Little Killer
Pairings: Cooper howard x f!reader
NSFW/MDNI
Masterlist
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Summary: in reluctant companionship with a ghoul, which turns out to be exactly as dreadful as you'd thought. You find yourself in a shoot-out where–post battle–one of your usual fights end way more pleasurable than usual.
Word count: 2.9k
Warnings: (violence, blood, death, in typical fallout manners), enemies to lovers, choking, pinv sex, rough sex, fingering, creampie, pet names (darlin', honey, killer, sweetheart), praise, a pinch of degradation.
AN: not yet proofread! Hope yall enjoy! (Yes, I'm unwell.'
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Wood shattering, explosions booming–and charging footsteps heading straight for me. 'At my right!' I shout, gesturing in the direction of the steps. My voice barely registering above the racket of the fight.
Nonetheless, he heard me, I knew he did. Because bullets suddenly whizz past my makeshift cover in every direction except to my right.
The ammunition creating sick squelching noises as they collide with their targets, bloodsplatter spraying the walls a horrifying deep red. Meanwhile, in my corner. The heavy footsteps were left wide open to plough through the old wooden barrels I was hiding behind, 'Holy shii-' I squeak as im tackled to the floor with enough force to knock the breath out of my lungs. I try to cough, try to make my lungs open up as the man grabs hold of me. I hit my chest hard, desperately hoping it would do something–
He grabs my boots, pulling me toward him and finally- I get a breath of air. 'Stupid, fucking asshole.' I mutter through clenched teeth as I lunge and wrestle my attacker, our quarreling bodies kicking up a cloud of dust to swirl around us.
The man was big and foul-smelling, maybe it would've been better refered to as an it, considering the animalistic growls, snapping teeth, and fraying lips that bit and lunged at my face. He attempted to pin my arms to the ground while aiming its teeth at my jugular, but I was quicker. My knee smashing into his balls before he had a single thought of defending himself. He cried out in pain and I took my chance to roll him over, pinning him down with my weight instead, and I began throwing a wave of punches to his face, over and over again. 'I said MY right!' I shouted over my shoulder, weeks of fury and frustration bubbling up inside me as it fueled me into beating the ugly mut unrecognizable–when a second force slammed into my back, knocking me onto the ground once again. Another man, now climbing on top of me, his dirty fingers slithering around my throat and-
Another splatter, this time it's his blood–the second man's, and its sprayed all over me.
'Finally. . .' I exhale heavily, thudding back against the floor, splaying out with relief.
'Were really polishin' up on our teamwork.' A gruff voice announced, words coming out slow and steady with that self-satisfied tone which never failed to get on my nerves.
I heaved myself up on my forearms, angling my body so what remained of the man slumped off of me, and the source of the voice appeared like a specter from the dead man's shadow. 'You're a real pretty sight when ridin' a man like that.' He said, nodding to the guy with a bashed face.
I rolled my eyes, unbelievable. 'You mean while beating the shit out of him?' I ask, my voice pitching higher as I couldnt quite fathom the nerve of that man, despite forcing myself to get used to it over the past few weeks.
He hummed. 'Mhm, really got me goin' for a sec.'
My face scrunched up in disgust. 'Fucking cowboys.' I spat, renouncing the idea loudly. But, quietly, inside my mind, the thought had my core purring unwillingly.
'I shot right, just like you asked.' He shrugged, stalking closer, the drawl in his voice washing through the barren and now battered bar.
'The hell you did!' I hissed. He stopped at my feet, looming over me with his tall frame, frayed coat swaying around his chins, and that stupid cowboy hat covering half his face just like always. We'd been forced travelling companions for a while now, and I could say a lot of nasty things about him, but it was hard to deny- he was a real fucking apocalypse cowboy. Pretty cool if you cut his personality out of the picture.
'I said my right, what the fuck else do you think I ment with "my"?' I kick the lifeless body with my boot, emphasising my point.
'Well. . .' He shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. '. . .my, right.' He smirked.
I shook my head, shooting him daggers. 'Not even you are moronic enough to get that wrong, ghoul.'
'Well, you're right.' He admitted, shocking me for a second. But then, the problem I've always had with him, inescapable and always the same–he never shut his damn mouth. 'You need to work om your phrasin', honey.'
I shut my eyes, screwing them together so tight I began wishing I could disintegrate from annoyance and seep through the cracks between the weathered floorboards like a corn of sand. But no, I was stuck with him, and had to lay there listening to his idiocy. 'How–?' I sighed a heavy, exasperated sigh. '–is it possible for a man to be so full of himself, yet- never talk about himself?'
'Tricks of the trade, sweetheart.' He winked, clicking his tongue while those forsaken eyes roamed my body like a predator sizing up it's prey, and extended a hand toward me as if it were no big deal.
Exhausted as I was, accepting his help seemed sorely tempting to my tired body. After a moments hesitation, I decided–once, wouldn't harm my morals. So, I grabbed his hand with reluctance and let him pull me to my feet. 'I could've died, I hope you realise.'
'Yes. . . But you didn't.' His lips pulling into a grin. 'I wouldn't let that happen'.'
'You're a real bastard, y'know that?' the words left my lips with an unintentional drawl, damn that man.
The ghoul cocked an inexistent eyebrow. 'If I didnt know any better, I'd say im rubbin' of on you, honey.'
Another scoff from me. 'The only thing you're rubbing–is me the wrong way.' I spat, this time making a point of speaking as plainly as possible.
His eyes lit up suspiciously, filling with mischief as his widening smile creased them. 'Well, tell me how you like it then and I'll do it the right way.' He smirked, his voice gravely as it scraped along my spine with a shiver. He always did this, He'd call me nicknames, flirt with me. All cause he knew I hated it. But now he's just bordering on harassment. It did however, not, stop the heat from rising to my cheeks, or for a blush to seep through my skin. He'd staggered me, I truly didn't know how to react. What happened next was purely instinctively driven–
The palm of my hand made contact with his cheek, a crisp slap sounding out through the room. I even confused myself for a moment, almost as I was the one who'd been hit. But I would've been furious, how he reacted, well. . .
'There you are. . .' He purred, his tone lethal. '. . .my little killer.' A grin spreading across his face as he took a step closer.
He was pure poison, somehow both hot and cold as he ran through my veins. 'I ain't yours.' He wss the only person- ghoul, who could get on every nerve I possessed, lighting it ablaze with frustration.
'No. . .? You ain't?' He chuckled, 'You're sure startin' to sound like it, sweetheart. I see the way you look at me, the way you blush when I call you pretty little names.' He nodded toward my eyes, his hat tipping with the movement as he took another step, gaining on the precious distance between us. I feared he was right, too, my cheeks burned in a way I'd never noticed before. Had I always reacted like this? Before I knew it–I'd flung my palm for his face a once again-
Only this time, he caught my wrist. 'Tsk tsk tsk, you can do better than that, killer.' He let go off me, forcefully shoving my arm back to my side with a scoff.
But now, I'm the one stepping closer, pushing him away by the chest simultaneously. 'I hate you.' I spit, taking another step and push again, but this time he doesn't budge, and I was left standing mere inches away from him, my hands pressed firmly against his chest as my own heaved with frustrated breaths, strands of hair hanging over my face from the ordeal.
'Good. . .' He whispered, brushing wild strands of hair from my face. '. . .Now, show me how much you hate me.'
I could've slapped him again, pushed him again, done anything else than what I actually did. But my body acted on instinct, again-
I crashed into him, my hands grabbing his face as our lips met in a battle for control. He released a breathy moan, his trigger ready hands finding my waist impossibly quick to pull me flush against him, our bodies clashing together in a thud. He hummed. 'That's right, killer. Show me.' He whispered in the air-swallowing gasps between our kisses.
I put pressure behind my hands, walking him backward while my fingers found the buttons of his vest. Undoing them along with the shirt, then slid his coat and vest down his shoulders in one go, right before his back collided with the bar top. My hands found themselves making their beneath his shirt, feeling the dents of his scarred chest as I sucked his lip between my teeth, and bit down. A sharp hiss escaped him, quickly being replaced by a wide grin. 'Naughty girl.' He breathed.
Smiling, I pushed myself off of him. 'You bring it out of me.' I panted, pulling my shirt over my head and unhooking my bra, letting it fall to the floor.
He leaned back against the bar, bracing himself on his elbows as his eyes roamed over my bare chest and flushed face. 'Those are the prettiest fuckin' tit's I've ever seen. . .' He spoke in a low voice, too filled with lust to allow him anything else. 'Now, would you mind.' His hand gestured below my waist, his index finger sliding through the air as he traced the buttons of my pants from a distance.
And an idea struck me, suddenly feeling like I wanted to indulge myself in a little torture. Turning around, I did as he told me and began unbuttoning them, slowly. Terribly, terribly slowly. Sliding them over my hips and down my thighs, bucking my knees and bending over slightly as I pulled my panties down along with them. Just as I stepped out if them and looked over my shoulder to give him a coy little look, perhaps revel in the feeling of his pained expression–I was in for a surprise.
Turning my head over my shoulder, I came fave to face with him, but he wasn't just standing there- no. He collided with my back, his arms already wrapped around ny front to catch me. His shirt bow nowhere to be seen. 'Enough.' He growled, one strong arm wrapping around my breasts as the other wrapped around my waist. He raised me off the floor, held tightly against his chest. I squeeked, giggling as I pulled my legs up. Completley overcome with the anticipation of what was about to befall me–then I all of a sudden found myself pushed over the bar top, chest against the smooth luke warm surface. The quality off it telling me it hadn't been bought when fitted into this weathered building.
Then, the clanging of metal, leather groaning, friction, and his belt hit the floor. Gruff hands ran over the swell of my ass and down the arch of my back, taking his time to feel all of me. 'Been thinkin' 'bout this, how you'd feel falling apart beneath me, on top of me–' he leaned over me, hand wrapping around my neck as he pulled me flush against him only to whisper in my ear. '–around me. . .' He breathed, dragging the words out. '. . . All wet 'n messy with my cum fillin' you up.'
A moan left my lips. 'Show me.' Was all I could get out, a silent pleading to make all those thoughts a reality–and so he did.
Before I knew it, a hand had disappeared to line himself up with my entrance, pushing inside me without as much as a warning.
'Fuck!' I cried out, my voice breaking as my breath left me. It felt never ending, he was huge. But oh, he felt so good.
He groaned, finally stopping as he'd sunken all the way into my core. 'So wet for me already.' His hand slid over my back and shoulder, molding itself to my throat as the other grabbed my hip. Already flush with my back, he inclined his head, leaving trail of kisses along my spine and neck.
'Fuck me, please Coop-' it was the first time I'd called him by his name, and I realised it the second it left my lips.
His lips curled against my skin, a smile-
He thrusted into me, again and again. My back arching into an angled I had no idea it was capable of, helping him hit my core at every rut of his hips–not that he needed it. The 200+ years of experience really showed, and they were definitely felt.
The bar was dead silent, no noise except for our joint breaths of pleasure and the sound of slapping skin. It was lewd and brutal, and It made me absolutely delerious. His low, pained grunting in my ear did nothing to ease the matter. He'd created an aching so strong within me I wasn't sure It'd ever be able to be tamed.
'Harder, harder, please.' I stuttered, the words barely coming out between my heavy pants. Fuck, he made me feral. Without even trying, that's just what he was capable of. It annoyed me, he managed to annoy me while fucking me senseless. Oh, how I wish I could hate him, but there was no going back now.
Coop left little love bites all along my shoulder, and up the side of my throat, nipping and kissing in equal meassure as his breathing warmed my skin deliciously. Doing it all with such precision I couldnt understand, his thrust were rocking my emtire body, his chest rubbing againdt my back, yet he could be so delicate. I side ive never seen before. 'Little killer ain't so tough no more, is she?' He whispered, placing a kiss behind my ear before biting the lobe, tugging in it gently.
'. . . Mmh- 'm not, I'm not.' I got out. I was whatever he said I was while he delivered this type of pleasure on a silver platter. I didn't care, my morals had been thrown out the window the second his lips touched mine.
'Well, look at that. Admittin' defeat already?' I could feel his stupid grin again, his pace slowing- still ruthless, but it did enough for that feeling of building pressure to wain inside me.
I shook my head, shutting my eyes hard as I tried to focus on his member moving inside me, desperate not to lose that red string that'd lead me to climax.
'Words, sweetheart. Use em'. .'
'Dont fucking care.' I cried. 'J- just- Fuck. Me. Harder.' I ground out, my teeth clenching real hard from a mix of desperation and frustration for the pressure to start rebuilding.
'That'll do.' He groaned, squeezing my throat. All the while his other hand slid down to my cunt, starting condensed circling around my clit. And just like that, he'd made me into a whimpering mess for him to steady, falling apart beneath him just like he'd thought. Then he simply took up right where he left off, without missing a beat he thrusted so ferociously I was sure I'd be bruising on every single part of my body from the vibrations that rumbled through my muscles alone.
The darkness of my lips were specking with white, a wall of pressure building brick by brick in my abdomen. 'Close, so fucking close.' I whimpered.
'Good- Good job sweetheart. Doin' so good for me.' He burried his face in my hair, nuzzling his nose into its scent, inhaling it as he too approached climax. And there it was, that sudden softness. It was almost unsteadying my senses more than his touch, more than his thrusts, but only almost. 'You sound so sweet for me, honey. Let me hear ya'. . .' He moaned, exhaling warmth against the nape of my neck.
I obliged, of course I did. 'Feels so good, Coop- so close. . .' I panted, tears burning my eyes as they began rolling down my cheeks.
He slid his hand upward, keeping it between me jaw and throat, still choking me as he angled my face over my shoulder, enabling him to kiss me properly. And I've never been more thankful because I was about to cry myself dry as the wall broke. Pleasure flooding through my body in tidal waves, my knees bucking beneath me. 'Good girl.' He praised, voice muffled against my lips. Fingers stopping to instead cup my aching cunt. 'My good fuckin' girl, my little killer.' He moaned softly, my lips vibrating from the roughness in his voice as he caught me, delivering a final few ruts of his hips before he too came. Doing just as he promised, filling me up with his cum.
He loosed his grip around my throat and slit, letting me depend on the counter for support while he held me. 'Still hate me?'
'Yes.' I didn't, but it'd be a long time before I admitted that to him.
'Good.' And then there was silence, our lungs catching up with our breaths. 'Still wanna see those pretty hips ride me.' He murmured as he hugged me from behind, his hand sliding lower, pinching my hipbone.
'Ow! Asshole.' I yelped, and he kissed my shoulder to make up for it. But the thought was alluring nonetheless. I wriggled in his embrace, looking around at the destruction we'd caused, at the- dead bodies. And a pang of guilt hit me. 'Fine, but not here.' I agreed, actually wanting nothing more than to get out of there and sit in his lap, maybe ride his thighs too.
We redress, and share a kiss before leaving. 'Can't wait to taste that cunt of yours, killer.' He murmured suddenly. Leaving me staggered once again.
Ugh, I'm done for.
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thewulf ¡ 1 year ago
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Bulletproof Bonds || Aaron Hotchner
Summary: Request - Maybe a husband!Aaron x Long Time BAU!wife and how there’s a new member to the BAU and she keeps trying to flirt with Aaron but he keeps turning her down🥲 but the new member doesn’t know that Aaron and reader are married, and new member just thinks of reader as competition to get with Aaron, eventually leading to reader getting really mad cause new member does something really stupid on a case that leads to reader almost getting seriously injured??... Read Rest Here
A/N: Really loved writing this one. Hope you all enjoy! Thank you for the request @viscade !
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader,
Word Count: 3.1k
TW: Yelling, gunshot (non wounded)
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In the bustling chaos of the BAU bullpen, Aaron Hotchner sat at his desk, his brow furrowed in concentration as he sifted through the multitude of case files scattered before him. A usual sight for the unit chief. The harsh fluorescent lights cast stark shadows across his features, accentuating the lines of exhaustion etched into his face by years of chasing monsters in the dark.
You sat by his side, a silent sentinel amidst the whirlwind of activity. Your own workspace dedicated beside him cluttered with documents and crime scene photos. The faint aroma of stale coffee hung in the air as you both delved into the intricate web of clues left behind by the latest serial killer to plague the streets. It was always so easy with him, your husband. The way the two of you were able to bounce ideas off each other was like none seen before.
The tension in the room was palpable, a heavy weight pressing down on everyone present as they grappled with the enormity of the task at hand. Each unsolved case seemed to loom over them like a specter, a constant reminder of the lives lost and the justice yet to be served. Amidst all the usual chaos, Agent Sarah Miller made her presence known. Her arrival heralded by the soft click of her heels against the linoleum floor. She moved with a confidence that bordered on arrogance, her youthful exuberance a stark contrast to the world-weary countenances of her colleagues. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.
Sarah's eyes lingered on Aaron as she sauntered past his open aired desk, a knowing smirk playing at the corners of her lips. She was young, ambitious, and hungry for success. Her gaze fixed on the formidable figure of the BAU's leader like a moth drawn to a flame.
Despite Aaron's cold indifference, she persisted in her attempts at flirtation, undeterred by his lack of response. Her tactics were shamelessly transparent, her words dripping with false sweetness as she sought to capture his attention. Agent Sarah Miller yet again walked past Aaron's desk, her gaze lingering on him for a moment too long before she turned her attention to you. There was a subtle flicker of annoyance in her eyes as she took in your presence, her lips curling into a barely concealed sneer.
"Hey, Hotch," she purred, leaning against the edge of his desk with practiced ease. "You must be tired of staring at all those files. Why don't you take a break and grab a coffee with me?" Her eyes kept looking back to you in brief flashes to gauge your reaction. You decided early on after her brazen attempts that you would give her none. A layer of disgust masked on top of the doe eyes she was attempting to give your husband was meant for you. She was very forward, you had to give her that one.
Aaron's response was polite but firm, his tone devoid of any warmth. "I'm sorry, Agent Miller, but I have work to do," he replied, his eyes never leaving the papers in front of him.
Undeterred, Sarah flashed him a flirtatious smile, her gaze lingering on him expectantly. "Maybe some other time, then," she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness before she finally strolled away.
You couldn't help but roll your eyes at her blatant display of interest, the subtle scoff escaping your lips as you returned your focus to the files sprawled across your desk. "Some profiler she is," you muttered under your breath, the sarcasm dripping from your words like venom. It was a small act of defiance, a way to vent the frustration bubbling just beneath the surface as you watched Sarah's failed attempts at seduction.
Your comment earned a small smirk from Aaron, his lips quirking up in amusement as he glanced up from his work. His eyes met yours, a silent acknowledgment passing between you, a shared understanding of the absurdity of the situation. In that fleeting moment, you found solace in the unspoken reassurance that he was not blind to Sarah's antics, nor was he unaffected by them.
As the tension in the room continued to get heavier, you exchanged a knowing glance with Aaron, the unspoken bond between you speaking volumes. It was a silent reminder of the unbreakable connection that bound you together, a tether grounding you amidst the disarray swirling around you. In that moment, you drew strength from the knowledge that no amount of flirtation from the new agent could ever hope to rival the deep-seated love and loyalty that defined your marriage.
But beneath the surface, resentment simmered, fueled by the blatant disrespect for the boundaries of your marriage. Each lingering glance, each flirtatious comment served as a reminder of the fragile line Sarah was treading, unaware of the storm brewing beneath the calm facade. Yet, as frustrating as her antics were, you knew that the true test of your marriage lay not in her misguided advances but in the unwavering trust and devotion you shared with Aaron. A bond that would withstand any challenge thrown your way.
You had to give the girl credit. She certainly didn’t stop. It was not even an hour later that the girl came crawling right back to him. In the dimly lit bullpen of the BAU, the seasoned agents huddled together, their eyes darting furtively around the room as they exchanged knowing glances. Reid, Garcia, Morgan, and Prentiss stood in a tight circle. Their voices hushed as they leaned in conspiratorially.
"So, who's going to crack first?" Garcia whispered, her eyes sparkling mischievously behind her glasses.
Prentiss smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. "My money's on Y/N. She's got that poker face down pat."
Reid nodded in agreement, adjusting his glasses. "And she's got a wicked sense of humor. I don't think she's sweating it."
Just then, Morgan, ever the observant one, interjected with a grin. "You know what, I'm with both of you on this one. Y/N's handling this like a pro. She's probably just waiting for the perfect moment to drop a witty comeback."
The others turned to look at you, noticing your bemused expression as you observed the scene unfolding with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. The new agent, eager to impress, leaned in a little too close to Hotch, her voice dropping to a suggestive whisper. "So, Hotch, any plans for dinner tonight?"
Hotch glanced up from his paperwork, his expression remaining impassive. "Just finishing up some reports, Agent. Nothing planned."
Undeterred, the new agent persisted, fluttering her eyelashes coyly. "Well, if you change your mind, I know this great Italian place down the street."
Hotch merely nodded, returning his attention to the file in front of him. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Agent."
Behind his back, the BAU members couldn't contain their laughter, stifling their giggles as they watched the new agent's attempts fall flat. It was clear that Hotch was immune to her charms, his focus unwavering even in the face of relentless flirting.
As Sarah retreated, finally somewhat defeated, the BAU members exchanged triumphant looks, their silent bet settled. Hotch may have been unflappable in the field, but when it came to dodging unwanted advances, he was truly a master of his craft. And you, well, you were just enjoying the show, your amused smile barely masking your annoyance as you watched the scene unfold.
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The breaking point came during a particularly intense case, where the unsub's erratic behavior had everyone on edge. You felt the adrenaline coursing through your veins as you moved cautiously through the dimly lit corridors of an abandoned warehouse, every nerve on high alert.
In the heat of the pursuit, Sarah's impulsive decision shattered the fragile equilibrium you had struggled to maintain with your team. Ignoring protocol and disregarding the safety of the team, she charged ahead recklessly, her actions sending shockwaves rippling through your ranks. Bullets flew past you like angry hornets, the deafening roar of gunfire echoing off the walls as chaos descended upon you.
It happened in the blink of an eye, a split-second decision with far-reaching consequences. A bullet sliced through the air like a deadly whisper, its trajectory aimed straight for your chest. But thanks to the protective barrier of your bulletproof vest, the impact was nothing more than a forceful shove, the fabric absorbing the blow with a sickening thud. The impact knocked the wind out of you, pain searing through your body as you stumbled backward, clutching your chest.
As the adrenaline faded and the reality of what could have been sunk in, fury ignited like a wildfire within you. You rounded on Sarah, your voice a crescendo of anger as you unleashed the pent-up frustration that had been building for weeks. Each word was a dagger aimed straight at her heart. Your tone laced with a venomous ferocity that mirrored the intensity of the emotions raging within you.
Coughing up blood, your vision blurred as you struggled to make sense of what had just happened. Anger surged through you like a tidal wave, drowning out the pain as you staggered to your feet. With a primal roar, you lunged at Sarah, grabbing her by the collar with a strength born of desperation.
"What the fuck was that?" you yelled, louder than you ever had before. And certainly not in front of the team. Your voice raw with fury. Each word was a thunderclap, reverberating through the warehouse like a warning shot. "You could have killed me! Or them! Do you even realize what you've done?"
But Sarah's response was a defiant sneer, her gaze unwavering in the face of your righteous indignation. "I did what needed to be done," she spat, her voice laced with arrogance. "I'm not afraid to take risks to get the job done."
The words were like a slap to the face, a cruel reminder of the recklessness that had nearly cost you everything. With all your rage, you shoved her away, your hands trembling with anger as you struggled to contain the tempest raging within you.
"You're a liability," you growled, your voice a low, dangerous whisper. "And if you ever put my life, their lives,” You pointed to Spencer and Emily behind you, “in danger again, I won't hesitate to take you down myself."
As you stood there, trembling with fury and pain, the rest of the team made their way over. You still hasn’t seen Aaron yet but the rest of them looked on in shock and disbelief. Derek surged forward, his strong arms wrapping around you as he pulled you back from the confrontation. "Easy there Y/N," he said, his voice low and soothing as he tried to calm the storm raging within you. "Cool off."
Emily and JJ exchanged worried glances. Finally, Aaron found you after too many moments of losing it in front of everyone. His eyes widened in alarm as he took in the sight of blood staining your lips, his heart clenching with fear at the sight. "What happened?" he demanded. His usually calm voice was laced with urgency as he reached out to gently touch your arm. His fingers trembled against your skin, his touch a comforting anchor in the swirling chaos of the moment.
Still reeling from the confrontation and the shock of narrowly escaping serious injury, Spencer stepped forward, his voice calm but tinged with urgency. "Aaron, Sarah made a nearly fatal mistake," he said, his words cutting through the tension like a knife. "Her impulsive actions endangered everyone on the team, especially Y/N." You were thankful he was willing to step in because you weren’t quite sure if you had the right words.
Aaron's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching with barely contained fury as he turned his gaze on Sarah. The air around him crackled with palpable anger, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. "Is this true?" he demanded, his voice cold and steely as he pinned her with a hard stare.
Sarah shifted uncomfortably under his intense scrutiny, her bravado faltering in the face of his unwavering gaze. "I...I was just trying to apprehend the unsub," she stammered, her voice wavering with uncertainty.
But Aaron's patience had worn thin, his temper flaring like a raging inferno. "You made a reckless decision that put the entire team at risk," he snapped, his voice echoing off the walls of the warehouse. "Until you can prove that you're capable of following protocol and putting the safety of your teammates above all else, you will not be back in the field."
The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the consequences of her actions. Sarah's expression fell, her defiance crumbling under the weight of his judgment. It was a harsh lesson, but one that she would need to learn if she ever hoped to earn back the trust of her colleagues and prove herself worthy of wearing the badge.
As Aaron turned away, his attention returning to you with a renewed sense of protectiveness, you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the unwavering support of your team leader and husband. But as you tried to catch your breath, a sudden coughing fit wracked your body, drawing Aaron's attention back to you. Concern flashed across his features, his eyes narrowing with worry as he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to steady you.
"Hey sweetheart," he murmured softly, his voice a gentle caress against your ear as he brushed a strand of hair away from your forehead. "Let's get you checked out, alright?"
You attempted to speak, but the coughing fit continued, leaving you gasping for air. So, you shook your head in protest. You were fine and you knew it, but the damn bullet hit you right in the lung leaving you gasping for air. Aaron's worry deepened, his brow furrowing with concern as he knelt down beside you, his hands hovering anxiously over your shoulders.
"Honey, just breathe," he urged, his voice filled with tenderness as he placed a comforting hand on your back. "We'll get you to the hospital, and they'll take care of you. I promise." It wasn’t usual that he dropped those sweet terms of endearment to you in front of the team, but he couldn’t really care. Not when he could’ve lost you.
Despite your protests, Aaron's determination remained steadfast. With gentle insistence, he scooped you up in his arms, cradling you against his chest with a strength born of love and concern. "You're going to the hospital," he declared, his voice unwavering as he carried you towards his SUV. “I’m not taking no for an answer sweetheart."
As Aaron settled into the driver's seat beside you, his eyes flickered with concern as he stole glances, his hand reaching out to brush against yours in a silent gesture of reassurance. But despite his unwavering determination to get you to the hospital, you couldn't help but feel a stubborn sense of resistance bubbling within you.
"I'm fine, Aaron," you insisted, your tone tinged with frustration as you crossed your arms over your chest. "This is incredibly dramatic. You’ve been hit in your gear too."
Aaron's expression softened at your words, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Maybe I am," he admitted with a chuckle. "I also know what it feels like honey. I’d rather be safe than sorry."
You shot him a playful glare, unable to suppress the teasing smile that danced on your lips. He cared for you, truly. Every inch of himself loved you more deeply than even you could have fathomed. You also knew that love bore stubbornness and there was no talking him out of what he knew he had to do. You were just along for the ride now. "You just can't resist playing the hero, can you?" You spoke up after a moment of silence between the two of you.
Aaron chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he glanced over at you. "Guilty as charged," he replied. "Always remind me never to get on your bad side," Aaron quipped, a lighthearted smile playing on his lips as he attempted to alleviate the tension that hung heavy in the air.
You managed a weak laugh trying your hardest to hide the pain radiating from your chest. However, so grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood. "You looked like you were about to take matters into your own hands back there," he teased gently, his voice laced with affection.
The image of you, ready to throw down with the new agent, brought a genuine laugh bubbling up from deep within you this time. "Well, she did have it coming," you admitted with a mischievous grin. "But I guess I'll let you handle the heroics this time."
As the laughter subsided, Aaron's expression turned more serious, a hint of regret flickering in his eyes. "I'm sorry things got so heated," he said softly, his voice tinged with sincerity. "I should have stepped in sooner. I thought she was harmless. Dealt with her type so many times before." He sighed, running a hand through his hair before finding your hand and lacing his fingers within yours.
You squeezed his hand, a warm smile spreading across your face. "It’s not your fault you’re such a silver fox," Tossing him a wink you couldn’t help but to tease him right on back. It’s how you knew everything was going to be just fine. The two of you had dealt with so much worse and come out even stronger, this would be nothing but a minor blip on your journey together.
Aaron laughed at your playful comment, a warmth spreading in his chest at your familiar banter. "Ah, so you're saying my charm is both a blessing and a curse," he retorted with a grin, his gaze softening as he looked at you.
You nodded, a fond smile playing on your lips. "Something like that," you agreed, feeling a surge of gratitude for the ease with which you could navigate even the toughest moments with Aaron by your side.
As the car glided through the streets towards the hospital, a comfortable silence settled between you, punctuated only by the gentle hum of the engine. Despite the events that had unfolded, you found solace in the quiet intimacy of the moment, knowing that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. With each passing mile, you felt the weight of the day begin to lift from your shoulders, replaced by a sense of reassurance that only Aaron could provide. His unwavering love and support was everything you needed. He guided you through the darkness, illuminating the path forward with hope and determination.
As you arrived at the hospital and Aaron helped you out of the car, you knew that this was just another chapter in your life together. You couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude for the man beside you, your literal partner in crime, your rock, your everything. Together, you were truly unstoppable.
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jellyfishsthings ¡ 8 months ago
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Hold Your Breath My Darling
WARNINGS: angst, like super angst, lovesick and whipped Spencer, earlier seasons Spencer, Hotch trained reader, Ex spy, fem reader, dying (or coming close to it), panic attacks, HOTCHNISS IS A THING bcuz i said so, typical criminal minds violence... there will be a part two soon, please let my know if I am missing anything else
requests are open
The ending was based on this fic by @nereidprinc3ss
part 1, navigation
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It had been one month since the Incident—a term that spoke volumes without revealing too much. The Incident was the moment everything changed, the day the world they've fought to protect threatened to swallow them whole. One harrowing act of violence had almost stolen her from the living, leaving scars deeper than flesh, echoing through the halls of the BAU and private lives of those who cared.
For Aaron Hotchner, the air was thick with the weight of his own guilt. He wandered through days shrouded in shadows, each movement a reminder of his instinct to protect, to lead, to ensure the safety of his team. And how had he failed? He coped with drowning himself in whiskey after a long day's work—a futile attempt to numb the regret clawing at his insides. In the back of his mind, the echoes of her screams lingered. They came back to him every time he closed his eyes.
His office was dimly lit, the curtains drawn tight against the afternoon sun. He stared at a framed picture of the team at some holiday gathering, her flashing one of her radiant smiles, arms flung around Morgan and Reid. It should have been the happiest memory, but now it felt like a ghost lurking in the corner, reminding him of what could have been lost forever. Where there should have been laughter, the room was filled with an uneasy silence, punctuated only by the sound of ice rattling in his glass.
Then there was Emily, who wore her pain like a second skin. Each night, she gave in to silent tears that left her breathless. Hotch held her, wrapped her in his arms, wanting to lend strength but unsure of how to piece together the fragments of their shattering experience. It was during these quiet moments, swaddled in darkness, that they both recognized the fragility of their connection. What they had once built was now tempered by guilt and fear—fear of losing a woman, a kid practically, they had helped qrow and turn into the amazingAgent she was.
Meanwhile, in a sterile white room, Spencer Reid kept vigil at her bedside. He had transformed into a specter of the man he had always been. Days blended into nights, and he often felt unmoored. The memory of her laughter used to be a melody he longed to hear; now it haunted him. In the clinical light of the hospital room, he counted the rhythmic beeping of the machines, which stood stark contrast to the chaos within him. Every time he heard her heart, steady and strong, he found a flicker of hope. But hope was an elusive thing, dampened by the anxiety that had seeped into his bones.
Reid often found himself lost in thought, reflecting on the moments that brought them all together, the little things that made them a unit—a family of sorts. He remembered their case that had turned deadly, the precision of her instincts leading them into a dangerous trap. But he also remembered the resolve in her eyes as they fought, a fierce determination that now seemed barely a whisper in the sanctuary of her hospital room.
For a while, recovery felt like an unattainable vision—like a mirage shimmering just beyond their reach. It was a miracle she was still alive even in a sedated state. When she was admitted in the hospital the doctors wore horrified looks as they finally located her file, asking for goverment permission to unseal it and rightfully so. When Spencer himself read it he felt nauseous to his core and ready to lose his hold on reality.
Bones broken more than one time.
Broken back that function only with a chip insisted in the spine.
Various signs of abuse, which could be traced back to her childhood at eight years old.
Signs of sexual assault and rape to a terrifying degree.
She was covered in old scars.
Yet he knew that the worst damage must live inside her head. What a scary life she had lived. And she was only a few months younger than him. The memories that must haunt her ... he only felt sick at the thought, he could imagine how it would be like to live with them.
Still it made sense. How good she was at fighting, that she was an excellent shot, how quickly she adapted into this new lifestyle. He was filled with questions, how, why, are you well, I still love you you do not have to hide I promise. But he didn't have a choice and so he waited for what seemed an eternity.
Days passed, and with them came the wait. But her eyes still remained closed, and so did the door to their shared perception of certainty. A week turned into a month, and the seasons shifted outside like a clock wound down to a dim hum.
Then, one evening, under the flickering fluorescent lights of the hospital, a breakthrough came. Her eyelids fluttered, her breathing quickened, and suddenly—her eyes opened, revealing the storm brewing inside them. Spencer was at her side, gripping her hand gently, his heart hammering in his chest. Ready to fall down on his knees and thank every diety for bringing her back.
“Snoopy?,” he breathed out, the air catching in his throat. Using after what seemed the longest time the nickname he had for her, the one he only used because he was the only one who knew her crazy obsession with the cartoon.
Her gaze was unfocused at first, wandering into the corners of the room as if piecing together where she was. But recognition slowly dawned on her, and the corners of her lips managed a faint curve.
“Reid?” she croaked, her voice raspy yet threaded with life.
Spencer felt a swell of emotions. Relief surged through him, casting away the shadows that had clung tightly for weeks. “You’re back. You’re really back.”
She blinked, and as realization dawned fully, the weight of her condition pressed down on her. “What happened?”
The moment reverberated with unspoken understanding; the memories were shrouded yet defined by the pain they collectively held. But what mattered now was her presence, the warmth of her being returning to where it belonged.
Yet nothing would ever be the same again.
Her transition to get back to work was tedious and long, but she faced with extreme determination and stubbornness. But one bright Monday morning at the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU), and the scent of hope lingered in the air like freshly brewed coffee. The team was abuzz with excitement—she was finally back after her traumatic injury. The office was a cacophony of cheers, “Welcome back!” and “It’s about time!” amid the clatter of keyboards and the rustle of paperwork.
She smiled brightly, radiating enthusiasm as she exchanged warm hugs and playful jabs. Despite feeling a little stiff, she was ready to jump back into the chaos that was the BAU. Her final physical test had gone splendidly, and she had passed with flying colors, much to the delight of her colleagues.
“Just don't overdo it, shortcake,” Derek Morgan chuckled, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You wouldn’t want to break a sweat before lunch.”
“I think my stitches would disagree with you,” she replied, tossing her hair back and puffing out her chest, “but who needs stitches when you have determination?”
She winked, but even she could feel the tight twinge near her abdomen as she waved dismissively.
A few hours later, as the excitement faded into the hum of agents at work, she started to feel a slight tugging pain. Her physical test had been strenuous, and perhaps she had overexerted herself a tad too much. Dismissing it as minor, she continued her duties until, unceremoniously, during a particularly animated discussion with Spencer Reid, she felt something give way. Looking down in horror, she saw her bandage had opened—one stitch had given it all up.
“Oh, come on,” she muttered under her breath. “Not now.”
The bathroom was not far, but the urgency and pain propelled her into a sprint that was definitely not recommended for someone still healing. She burst through the bathroom door, clutching her midriff, and locked the door behind her.
Meanwhile, after Snoopy had vanished for a suspiciously long time, Spencer felt a tickle of worry. She had burst into action rather enthusiastically, but it had turned into hours of radio silence. Ever the nerdy detective, his mind began churning. What if she had passed out? What if the bathroom monster had gotten her?
Spencer stood up, adjusted his glasses, and awkwardly edged toward the restrooms, bursting into the first one. Empty. Next, he slammed the door of the supply closet, scanned the room, found it empty, and moved on. He was a bull in a china shop—he knocked on a few more doors before finally giving in and charging towards the ladies’ restroom.
“Snoopy?” he called out hesitantly. “Are you in here? Did you win a new Olympic event—like bathroom hiding?”
Inside, she was struggling for a fresh bandage, maneuvering between the threading of her clothes, still trying to maintain a semblance of dignity despite her predicament. “I’m fine!” she half-shouted. “Just dealing with some wardrobe malfunctions. You know how it is!”
“Are you sure? You sound a little… flustered.” Spencer pushed through the door—pride was overrated, and so was personal space when it came to friends in need.
There she stood, half-naked, staring wide-eyed at Spencer. She was trying to maneuver a roll of bandages across her back, struggling with the awkward angles as she attempted to wrap around her injuries. The moment was a whirlwind of awkwardness and genuine surprise that left Spencer rooted to the floor.
“Oh, uh…!” Spencer stammered, his eyes widening. “I—Sorry! I didn’t mean to—!”
She blushed, realizing the comedic irony of a boy who often got caught in his brain's overdrive now turning into a flustered mess. “Spencer, a little warning next time? I’m just trying to change my bandages!”
“Oh! Right! Of course! Bandages!” He shuffled awkwardly, racking his brain for something—anything—that resembled confidence. “Do you need help?”
“Help?” she echoed, raising an eyebrow. “With what? Watching me struggle or ensuring a full-fledged theatrical performance?”
Reid swallowed hard and stepped forward, grabbing the roll of bandages. “I have a PhD in cognitive neuroscience, but bandaging wounds shouldn't be too complicated, right?”
She laughed, a melodic sound that diffused the tension as he gingerly held the fabric ready to assist her. “You say that, but let’s just put your academic prowess to the test.”
As he meticulously began to wrap her wounds, their banter threw open a door to easy flirting. “You know, if you hadn’t decided to writhe around like a fish out of water, I wouldn’t have had to barge in here like a raging bull,” he teased, focusing on the bandages but stealing glances at her.
She snorted softly. “And if you hadn’t decided to play the role of ‘Spencer the Bull’ and barged in like that, I might have had a more dignified experience here.”
“Next time, I’ll knock,” he agreed. “But first, if I let you get hurt again, I’ll have to rat you out to HR.”
She feigned shock. “Spencer Reid! How could you? Aren’t we a team?”
He didn’t dare reply immediately, wrapping the bandages with precision while his own cheeks flushed. “They also say you can’t handle a little risk in the name of love—because that’s totally what HR deals with.”
She grinned. “Oh please, they’d love the gossip. ‘Reid and Snoopy engage in dangerous bandaging maneuvers!’”
“Right?” He chuckled. “They’d probably get the wrong idea, and we’d spend our afternoons dodging accusations.”
“Accusations? Of what? Excessive flirting under the guise of medical assistance?”
Their eyes met, and the emphasis was palpable—a line they’d somehow danced across during the cheerful mockery. As the gentle laughter enveloped them, both realizing they had easily slipped into a territory where playful banter morphed into flirty undertones, Spencer’s heart thumped against his chest as he finished the bandage and fought the impulse to lean in a little closer.
“So,” she started, cutting through the air of comfort, “do we have a pact then? No more HR rumbles if you keep barging in on me uninvited?”
“I think that sounds reasonable,” Spencer replied, a charming smile emerging on his lips.
As they shared another laugh, an understanding settled between them—one wrapped in bandages, hints of crushes, and adventure, leaving behind awkwardness and opening the door to a world wrapped in flirtation and camaraderie, all set against the delightful backdrop of the BAU.
Tags: @sturnioloenthousiast
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nanenna ¡ 4 months ago
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A Brief Look from a Different Angle
Going back in time just a little to have a look from a different PoV.
Sleepy King masterpost
---
Jazz flung open the door to the basement so forcefully it nearly bounced right back into her face. “Mom! Dad!”
“Jazz?” Mom asked curiously from below as Jazz descended the basement stairs. “Sweetie, come look! We think we got the new settings for the blasters set correctly.”
“Mom, where's Danny?” Jazz asked in a tight voice.
“Isn't he with you?” Mom asked warily, looking past Jazz to where she was flanked by Sam and Tucker.
“Did he wander off after school?” Dad suggested cheerfully.
“School's not over yet, we left early because Danny never made it to school this morning. Didn't they call you?” Jazz had thought it was weird the school office had called her at all, especially when she was at the very same school when they had.
Her parents frowned as they pulled their phones from their pockets. “No missed calls,” Mom said.
Dad turned to the computer, “Not the house line either. But there were a couple readings last night, perhaps Danny slept in?”
“I called him on the Fenton phone, you'll never guess who answered.” Jazz gave her parents a moment to turn their full attention back to her. “Superman.”
“Oh, well they're the good guys so he's safe at least, right?” Dad asked cheerfully.
“What did Superman say, honey?”
“He said Danny had been kidnapped and rescued, but has some sort of magical side effects the Justice League is working to fix before sending him home. He wouldn't tell me any more details, not who kidnapped him, not what the side effects are, not when he'll be home, nothing.”
“And they didn't inform you, his parents,” Sam added on.
“I'm worried they don't know about Danny’s ghost status and might accidentally hurt him trying to cure him of whatever,” Tucker added, still tapping away at his modified tablet.
“Well that's just unacceptable,” Mom said angrily.
“Right!” Dad agreed eagerly. “We're his parents and he's still a minor, we should be there to approve of his medical treatment!”
Jazz was already heading over to the corner to collect ol’ reliable: the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick™. “They said he's at one of the JL bases.”
Everyone turned to look at Tucker. “Their security is pretty tight, as to be expected, but as always there's social engineering. One of the JL members is complaining in a private discord server about still being on monitor duty on the Watchtower despite it currently being on lockdown for unspecified magical reasons.”
“The Watchtower?” Dad asked.
“Isn't that in space?” Sam sounded incredulous.
“Danny must be so excited,” Mom said with a fond sigh.
“How do we get to space?” Jazz asked forcefully.
Everyone looked around at each other for a moment. “The specter speeder is air tight,” Dad suggested.
“We can go through the ‘Zone,” Jazz added, already digging through the benign supply storage.
“Ask Frostbite for the infi-map?” Tucker suggested.
“Or we just use this!” Jazz triumphantly held up the booo-merang.
There was a resounding sound of approval from the group, followed by a flurry of activity as everyone set about getting ready to travel to space. Mom had taken over the pilot’s seat for the specter speeder, Dad was clearing away everything they had been working on to give the speeder a clear runway, Sam and Tucker were gathering up various ‘just in case’ supplies like a few weapons and the emergency ghost first aid kit, and all the while Jazz was double checking the booo-merang was properly calibrated and battery charged. Once everyone was in place and everything set up, Jazz threw the booo-merang at the open portal and hopped into the speeder so they could take off after it.
Once through, Dad activated the new remote to close the blast doors behind them. No chance of anyone sneaking through while they’re away. A new safety feature that had drastically reduced the number of ghost attacks. Danny had been delighted. Jazz had been upset it took so long for their parents to listen to her concerns when she’d brought up the portal’s security a year prior, shortly after finding out about Danny’s ghostliness.
Jazz mentally shook those thoughts away, no use retreading old ground. Instead she kept her eyes on the booo-merang as it flew through the Ghost Zone, lazily spinning along at a pace that was pretty easy for the speeder to keep up with.
“It sure is taking a while,” Tucker said with a bored sigh.
“We'll get there when we get there,” Sam replied with a grin.
They lapsed back into silence, everyone watching the booo-merang leading them further and further into the ‘Zone. Then it suddenly took a sharp left at the same time it doubled its speed. The boo-merang slipped through a portal that seemed to open and close just for it.
The speeder rocked as Maddie tried to follow the sudden course change, then cursed when they missed the portal.
“Welp,” Tucker said tiredly, “guess we head to the Far Frozen to ask for the infi-map.”
Sam snickered, “Bet you fifty it hit him in the head.”
“That's not a bet, that's a guarantee.”
“Hey!” Jazz protested.
Before Jazz could properly defend herself, a portal opened right in front of them. They ended up on the other side before anyone could do more than gasp.
“Is that… the Watchtower?” Mom asked hesitantly.
“I think so,” Tucker replied.
There, floating before them backed by a field of stars,was a matte gray tube with more tubes attached around it covered with windows leaking buttery yellow light into the void.
“Okay, so now what?”
There was a moment of silence as everyone processed what had just happened. Danny was inside and they were outside, they needed to find their way in and then somehow find Danny without their only tracking device. Great.
The radio came to life with a burst of static. “This is the Watchtower to the unknown vessel, please identify yourself.”
“Great, guess we can't sneak on,” Sam groused.
“Like that was ever even an option,” Tucker replied sarcastically.
“Kids!” Dad chided. Then he started fiddling with various knobs, “How do we reply?”
Mom frowned, “I'm not sure we can.”
“Something to upgrade for next time!”
“Hopefully there won't be a next time,” Jazz muttered.
“Still, it’s best to be prepared,” Dad said jovially. The radio spit more static and garbled requests for identification.
“Perhaps we should just… approach? They probably have an airlock or something we can use.” Mom gently nudged the speeder forward, heading slowly towards the Watchtower.
“Hopefully they don’t think we’re hostile,” Tucker grumbled.
“Don’t worry, we’ve got ghost shields!” Dad said enthusiastically with a finger hovering over a button.
“Dad, the Justice League doesn’t have any ghosts,” Jazz reminded him with a sigh. She shook her head, her parents were a little too specialized. Maybe this would help them realize they lost sight of the broader picture.
“Well hopefully it’ll stop whatever that is,” Tucker said nervously, pointing at where a small white dot was growing larger as it approached them.
The dot turned out to be a man wearing a white half cape, the red and gold coming into focus as he got closer. Clearly he was some kind of superhero, since he wasn’t even wearing a helmet or space suit. Jazz narrowed her eyes at him, “Is that Superman?”
“No,” Sam and Tucker said at the same time. Tucker took over, “That’s Captain Marvel, the champion of magic. Not related to Superman at all, aside from being coworkers I guess.”
“Good for him.” Jazz readjusted her grip on the anti-creep stick.
Captain Marvel slowed down as he got closer, stopping a few yards away. He smiled and waved, everyone waved back. Then he beckoned for them to follow.
“How nice, they sent someone to lead the way.” Mom maneuvered the speeder to follow, matching the easy pace Captain Marvel set.
“Hold on, Danny, we’re coming,” Jazz murmured, gripping the anti-creep stick tight.
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hpgal ¡ 7 months ago
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DC X DP: My Specter Roommate
CW: none
Tldr: Tim has a few odd experiences in his apartment only to learn he doesn't live alone.
Word Count: 417
Sometimes, it is easier to have space from everyone at the Manor. It is easier to decompress and take a breather from the madness the manors' halls can sow. That's why Tim got an apartment near Wayne Enterprises' main office.
It was well worth the investment and wasn't bad either. It was a two bedroom, one bathroom, close to the tower, cheap for the area and between him and all his siblings offering to help, secure.
No one would've bat an eye if he just used trust fund money or asked Bruce to pay for it, but Tim wanted to try to do this on his own. After all, he was old enough to vote, might as well act like an adult, and learn to live like it. The arrangement was kind of nice, however lonely too.
And that loneliness is why he didn't immediately call Constantine or some other magic user hero after coming to the conclusion his apartment was haunted. It took an embarrassingly long time for Tim to notice it, perhaps because he doesn't spent as much time here as he thinks he does between running WE and his night job.
The specter seemed harmless enough in Tim's opinion. He first noticed the strangeness when he was certain he left dirty dishes in the sink the night prior only to wake up and find them not only cleaned but put away too. He thought it was just his mind tricking him then so he carried on with his day only feeling uneasy if anything.
The next noticeable sign he was being haunted was when he set his coffee down on his desk and walked away to take a phone call. When he returned, the cup was significantly less and on the opposite corner where he left it. Maybe he mindlessly moved it or drank it while on the phone?
If it was a ghost, kind of rude, but ok, at least they didn't knock it over the case file he was reading.
His final confirmation was finding an envelope on the coffee table with a note and $100 in it.
Dear Tim,
I'm sorry for stealing your coffee, I decided I like it here and need a new haunt. Hope 100 is good enough for this months rent
DP
Not only was his roommate a ghost, but a polite one. Tim was so tired from his night job he didn't even care, just shrugged and decided it was tomorrow's problem and went to bed.
---
a/n: Found this in my drafts, don't remember where the plot was going so enjoy this little drabble. If I figure out where to go with this I'll make a part 2.
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thexsilentxwordsmith ¡ 2 years ago
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Fandom: Call of Duty
Character(s): Simon "Ghost" Riley, Reader
Summary: All the buildup, all the teasing, finally leads to this: Simon is back and ready to act on all those filthy things you two had been teasing each other with. Will you make it home before you both explode? Or will the car have to do to break the tension?
Word Count: 5.1 k
Warnings:
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Part 2:
Unsteady hands gripped hard into the steering wheel, knuckles white as you tightly held on while headed straight to the military base. Your heart pounding furiously inside your chest, breath quick and short the closer you got, it was nearly impossible to keep your eyes focused on the road. Christ were you gnawing at the bit to get there and once again see that beast of a man, the one keeping you begging for release for the past three months.
Those breathtaking bits of personalized porn you two had sent each other had done nothing other than made that inconvenient ache into a raging monster that could not be quenched. Hours spent furiously working yourselves, silently begging for a little ease in the constant throbbing had gotten nowhere except to drain the battery life on your phones from the constant re-watching of videos.
…though that last photo he sent you of his abdomen covered in his milky white cum after having watched your little romp into amateur pornography had left you feeling on top of the world for a couple days.
And just as you were on that last leg of desperation, finally the light at the end of the tunnel that led up to you driving where you were today. It had been exactly one week from when you got the text you had been waiting on from Simon:
“I’m coming home, baby. Fucking finally; Christ I thought I was going to rub myself raw. Best not wear anything you want to remain intact, you hear me? Cause the minute I get my paws on you, that's it.”
Thank fuck, the suffering was almost over.
That entire week seemed to drag on endlessly, each day crawling through at a snails pace, but here you were now only a few more minutes away from your destination. Even as you checked in at the entrance to the base, antsy and squirming in the seat of your car, you couldn’t believe that you had actually made it.
You took Simon’s message to heart when you got ready that morning, choosing a simple, flowy dress that he could literally shred off of you and you wouldn’t give a shit. It was just long enough that it could easily conceal the fact that you had done away with the panties today, opting for ease of access over anything else, but low cut enough in the front that he could get a nice eyeful of your full chest; you had no idea what would happen the moment you saw each other again and you weren’t taking any chances.
This reunion was bound to be explosive after all the visual edging you two had been doing lately and having to waste even a second more of time before your bodies could be joined felt like a crime.
You walked through the base, heartbeat rapidly increasing with each step as you got closer to where you knew you'd find that hulking Lieutenant hanging around.
And then you turned a corner and there he was like a specter brought back to life, standing idly beside the outside wall smoking as he watched the privates of his troop find their families and suddenly the wind was knocked from you.
“Simon,” you called out to him and he turned to face you.
That instant connection of your eyes felt like a shock from a live wire; Simon could feel the electricity run through his veins and tingle its way up his spine until the first prickles of sweat dotted across his body as his cigarette slipped from his fingers. It felt like he couldn’t breathe and the closer you got the worse it became; you knew what you were doing wearing that pretty little dress.
Fuck did he want to take a bite of those thick thighs he could see just under the hem that popped out every time you took a step and if his hands didn’t get their fill of your breast spilling out of his grip soon, he might just keel over and die. You were more than tempting, you were a feast sent to make him completely lose his goddamn mind.
His entire body was sent into shock as that ache that he had tried to keep from ripping him apart all day as he waited for your arrival overtook him until his balls pulsed and he had to adjust himself or get caught sporting a stiffy that would instantly tent the crotch of his pants and make it even more painfully obvious to any curious eyes just how gone he fucking was.
Coming to a stop you stood before him, your stomach doing back flips as you struggled to form words that weren’t just pleas for him to just rip the waistband of his pants down and take you right then.
“Hey you,” you said through unsteady breaths, trying to keep calm. “Long time no see, huh?”
Simon nodded. “Too fuckin’ long sweetheart. Ya look...” he had to clear his throat, “incredible.” He had to keep it short, there were still too many people about and even his words would cause him to lose composure.
“Well, it is a special occasion after all,” you chuckled. “Got to remind you what you leave behind every time you go.”
The need to take your hand and give it squeeze, that customary greeting that you both did when in public, made him hesitate. If he touched you right now, any bare part that met skin with skin, he may not be able to stop, not once those weathered and brutish fingers got their fill of all that sweet softness. There as still a little time left that he had to be there and the agony was already eating away at him.
“Believe me, I fuckin’ know,” he said as he shot you a look; I’ve been in hell waitin’ to get back to it, it whispered to you.
Taking a few calming breaths, he risked lacing his broad fingers in between the empty spaces in your own. Simon could feel the rapid thump, thump, thump, of your pulse against his palm; good, you were just as excited for this reunion as he was.
Somehow that made it a bit easier, knowing that the feeling was mutual.
“Can we go?” you asked eagerly, hopeful that you were closer to the end of your joint suffering sooner rather than later.
Simon stroked the back of your hand with his thumb. “Gotta be here just a bit longer,” he muttered dejectedly under his breath. “God, I want ya so bad I can’t see straight.”
You squeezed his hand back. “It’ll go fast,” you assured. “And…I mean… no one’s looking this way if you wanted to touch me a little more. Maybe you’ll find something you’ll like.”
It was dangerous, but he took a chance with even more touch as he released your hand and loosely wrapped his arm around your waist, bring you in to him until your hips were touching. You were warm against him, warmer than the day would suggest, and the curve of your hip that he ran his fingers over delicately to retrace the lines he had dreamed about felt even better than he remembered.
Silently you peaked over at his face, watching as his head faced firmly forward to watch for any prying eyes, but it was clear he hadn’t noticed it yet. Not wanting to spoil the surprise, you kept quiet; he’d figure it out eventually. Those exploring fingers were beginning to stray more towards the back of you to the small dip at the base of your spine.
…and then lower still…
That’s when you felt it; he risked a lingering stroke over the contour of your ass when he noticed it. Where was that distinct seam of your panty line? He had grabbed your backside so many times over the course of your relationship that he knew the feeling of what should have been there. Quickly he ran his hand over the area again and still the same, there was nothing. Christ, you’d really prepared for today, hadn’t you?
Good fuckin’ girl.
His chest began to grow tight with his quickened breathing… along with that engorged appendage down below. He was in fucking trouble now; would he even be able to make it to the car at this point? The moan that desperately tried to escape through his throat he swallowed down, but who knows how long it would stay.
He was in the thick of it now.
Simon leaned down to rest his face against the side of your head, his warm breath still able to be felt against your ear even through the mask. “Fuckin’ hell sweetheart, no panties?” he whispered intrigued. “Christ, how the fuck am I supposed to hang on now?”
You smirked, trying to pick even though you were falling apart at the seams, a wetness gathering between your thighs as you pressed them together. “You complaining? Cause I can head back home and put some on real quick if you want.”
A harsh squeeze along the underside of your ass cheek made you gasp before he removed his hand and gave you your answer. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” he warned, a playfully lilt to his tone. “That sweet little pussy is about to be filled and I don’t wanna waste a goddamn second havin’ to rip those fuckin’ things off ya.”
Dear God he was about to fuckin’ explode, say screw it and pin you up against the nearest wall right in front of the entire goddamn squad to plow into your tight, wet cunt with months worth of unrequited need that had built up to this monster of desire churning away inside of him. His teeth bit at the skin of his lower lip, his fists clenching and unclenching as he failed to calm himself while he again checked the time.
The moment that those amber eyes watched the second hand on his watch hit and the minutes change to the millisecond he could be released, his oversized mitt wrapped around your wrist, securing it in his harsh grasp, and quickly he began making his way to your car with you being dragged alongside.
“Where the hell are ya parked?” he questioned in a huff, that gruff voice nothing more than a growl, and you pointed towards the back of the lot in the corner.
You could barely keep up with his intense pace, nearly tripping over your own feet several times to match his long strides. It didn’t help that your heart was pounding furiously, nearly beating out of your chest the closer you got to being in a tight, secluded spot with him; could you even make it back to his apartment?
All signs were pointing to not a fucking chance.
Simon only released you so that you could both get inside, separating at the tail of the vehicle with you headed towards the driver side and him the other. The slam from the car door rung through the interior of the vehicle and before you could even insert the key into the ignition, Simon had moved in silent as a specter to place his large palm against the side of your cheek. The endless ache he had endured over the past months apart had been unbearable as you both edged each other to the brink of insanity and now that he was so close to you again it felt like he was in a dream.
The tension that suddenly filled the car was overwhelmingly electric as Simon closed what little distance there still sat between you both, his hand moving to the back of your head. Those bulky, calloused fingers that had missed having any part of you against them laced themselves through your hair with harsh abandon, pulling your face closer.
He held your head steady and pointedly at his face so that you had to stare into his intense, unwavering gaze; it made your skin tingle with anticipation of what was on the horizon and barreling down fast. Those sparkling brown eyes drew you in to hold your own captive as he drug his thick thumb across the length of your bottom lip as if to test that all this was actually real. His entire hand palmed the back of your head which left you completely at his mercy, not that you were complaining.
After all, you needed him just as badly.
Without warning he wrenched the bottom hem of his balaclava up over the top of his head and off his face before his mouth crashed violently against your own, hungry and greedy to steal kiss after fiery kiss from those soft, supple lips he had been eyeing with a burning desire to ruin since the minute he saw you again. Desperately his tongue parted your lips as he plunged it inside your mouth to reclaim it.
God it felt euphoric to finally be given the very thing you had been aching for for months, feeling as if your body had pined for his for an eternity, as it was finally released from it’s torture. And by the way his tongue was nearly shoved down the back of your throat you knew Simon felt that same kind of relief and it only spurred him on further.
“Fuck,” he groaned against your parted lips, nothing but hot, sticky breath being shared. “Ugh…fuck, baby, I’ve missed you so goddamn much I thought I was gonna fuckin’ die before I could feel ya again.”
Crawling over the small console in the center between the car seats, Simon shoved his body weight into you, making your smaller frame slam against the driver-side door. The raised panelling along the inside dug roughly into the muscles of your back as the backside of your head was shoved harshly into the glass of the window. There was no pause in his assault of your mouth until your lips began to burn from the constant contact and yet even the pain still felt like heaven.
He tasted so strongly of tobacco from the chain of cigarettes he must have smoked to calm his nerves until you arrived, but even through the distinct flavor you still drank every last drop of him down like you would cease to function without him.
Those thick digits of his free hand eagerly pawed at your supple thighs until he was able to divide them so that his hand could slip in between. There was a damp heat gathered near your unclothed sex and it only made him more wild to feel it. His palm cupped around your entire mound and you whimpered directly into his mouth.
“Fuck,” he hissed one of the only words he could recall in that moment as the damp heat filled his palm. “All for me?”
Words, what the hell were they again? You couldn’t remember how speech worked as you were far too busy try to simply breathe through the conquering of your body by him. All you could do was mewl like a kitten as he massaged the petals of your cunt before taking his middle finger and slipping it between them. Your back arched in a jolt as he ran one finger along the length of your cunt, mouth falling agape as Simon gathered as much of your juices on his finger as he could.
Even this small amount of contact already had you dripping and coming apart at the seams; it had been so long since you had felt that familiar touch and pressure against your clit, the one that only he could provide.
Simon couldn’t help himself once he got his first real feel again of how soft and slick you were, goddamn it had been too long that he’d only been able to play with himself, and greedily he drew upon your clit in concise circles with the pad of his rough finger. There was a second where he tried to remain calm, to take his time drawing out your pleasure as he would normally do, but as your back arched and your breathy music filled the silence of the car, he could not hold off from unleashing weeks of pent up need onto you.
Removing his lips from your own, he moved down to the soft skin of your neck with teeth ready to leave the flesh marked with his seal. It burned him alive with desire at the thought that he would be able to see your pretty skin marred by him, that everyone who came in to contact with you in the coming days after today would see it too.
You could not stop the way your body writhed and squirmed as his finger collected a friend to join it and spread your entrance open so they could both slide inside. The heightened tension of the moment with the man you had yearned for only made you more sensitive and the way his fingers filled your tight, aching hole after it had been left empty for too long thrilled you. As natural as breathing, your hips ground down on his fingers, using them as your own living dildo.
God, he wanted nothing more than for you to ride his cock as well as you rode his fingers just now and send him straight to hell. Shit, he couldn’t catch his breath, his need was just too much. “That’s it. Use me; make my fingers yours.”
Both of your hands moved to behind your head and onto the window; you needed more leverage to ground onto him harder, as hard as you could. Nothing compared to him, not your own fingers, not a toy; you could not stop yourself. You could feel the condensation already gathering on the glass as you moved and you had to wipe it away so that you could get better purchase on the surface so you wouldn’t slide.
There was nothing that was going to ruin this.
“Oh god, baby,” you squeaked out as that overwhelming deep warmth of your release gathered in your abdomen.
The corners of his mouth upturned against your neck at the sound of you falling apart because of him. Images conquered in his mind about your moans and cries reaching outside the car so that anyone who walked by would hear them before they caught a glimpse of the show. Why wouldn’t he want to show you off like this? You looked so fucking beautiful falling apart to his ferocity.
Just the way your muscles strained and your cries became more pathetic, Simon knew you were close. “Are ya gonna come for me already, pretty girl?” his gruff voice purred against your collar bone. “Come on then, give it to me. Clench down on my fingers. Let me feel it.”
Pumping his fingers in and out of you, keeping the pace as steady as he could, he felt those velvety walls flutter around his digits as he rocked his upper body with you to simulate the movements he’d soon be doing when he was really inside you. The air was so thick with moisture it almost felt hard to breathe right, the windows filmed with the stuff as with a few more strokes at your clit you came hard and fast, shaking as he continued to work you until ever single ounce of your orgasm had been spent.
Simon was gone then, replaced by a feral beast fueled by his ability to make you come… and wanting to do it again, but this time with his cock.
He pulled those thick fingers out of you, glistening with the wetness of your cum and brought them to his lips. You watched wide eyed as he stuck them in his mouth and licked them good and clean; goddamn you tasted just as delicious as he remembered. Could you blame the man? You had kept him starving since your video popped up on his phone and he had to get a bit of it all.
“I need more of ya,” he groaned in whispers as he leaned back into you, desperate hands pawing at your breast still sadly inside your dress as he kissed you again, now with the taste of you on his breath.
“We need to move, someone’s bound to come see what all the noise is about,” you said, able to think a little more clearly now that you had come once, but Simon was still gone and there was only one thing that would bring him back.
“Don’t care, can’t wait. Get in the back. Now.”
The primal growl in his gruff voice was enough to make you comply without another word; once was not enough anyway, not after how you had suffered. You needed to be filled with more than his fingers. With a nod you immediately began climbing over the cushions towards the backseat of the car as he got out and moved into the back with you. You leaned back into the front long enough to shove the seats forward all the way to give you more space.
Simon needed room to work.
Scooting over, he planted himself directly in the middle of the back seat and pulled you over top of his lap to straddle him, shins digging into the edge of the cushion. Shit, he as so hard you couldn’t properly sit over top of him without leaving a wet spot right where his cock tented the fabric.
Clothes could be washed, as if he would care at all if anything got on him right now. Pushing your hips down, he made you grind your overstimulated clit hard on that throbbing shaft and you mewled into his face. A devilish grin spread from ear to ear as he rocked your hips to dry hump him.
“Someone ‘ere begged to be bred and that’s what she’s gonna fuckin’ get,” he hissed, sucking in the air harshly between his teeth at the feeling of you on top of him. “Can’t take it back now, luv. I have been fuckin’ dreamin’ of doin’ this, ever since you sent me that goddamn video and I ‘eard you say those sweet fuckin’ words. Been fuckin’ gnawin’ at the bit to stuff you full.”
Taking both of his hands, he pulled at the low neckline of your dress until your breasts came spilling out of the top. Angling his face in, he placed his nose right between the two to suffocate himself within them. There was a hint of your perfume still lingering there, that scent he had bought you for your birthday last year, the one that occasionally lingered on his clothes and had done for the first couple weeks of his mission.
The flesh was so enticing that he sucked in the supple top of one breast before he bit down, not enough to break the skin, but enough that it would definitely leave a nice red outline of his teeth; more signaturea that you could both admire.
“Simon,” you moaned his name.
Your own hands roamed up under his shirt, pushing the fabric up until you reached his chest and you could run your hands over the sparse bit of hair you adored; it would be so nice to get to nuzzle against it again. As your fingers ran between his pectorals you could feel the moment his breath hitched.
“Please, Simon,” you begged. “I need it.”
Those breasts he would get back to later, your words brought him back and his need to fuck you senseless slammed into him full force.
Rushed, he laid you back over the console between the seats as he sat up and forward, undoing his belt before ripping his pants down enough that he could pull his cock out of his boxers. The angle was slightly awkward, but as he aligned the leaking head of his phallus with your entrance and gave that first thrust to fully enter you, everything else fell away.
“Oh fuck…fuck… oh fuck,” that deep agonized whimper echoed through the car as Simon’s hands bore down his grip on the top of the seat cushions. “Goddammit, luv…s-shit…ah…”
Nothing, absolutely nothing in this fucking world could ever compare to the way your body felt wrapped around his cock: how silky and warm and tight it was. There was no way with his limited brain function could he accurately describe how mind-numblingly amazing it was to be inside you again. Those restless nights where he just couldn’t seem to stay satisfied, the pictures and video that made it worse, the dreams that woke him to stained boxers, it was all undone in that moment as your soft walls held him snugly.
Your head flew back over the lip of the console as he filled you completely to the hilt, stretching you out to your limit. It was almost too much after so much time apart, but goddamn was it exactly as you had wanted. You swallowed the saliva gathering in your mouth, wanting to say the words you had first brought to life in your video, but in person this time.
“Breed me, please Simon. I need you to fucking breed me.”
Never had a more beautiful sentence ever been spoken to him in all his years than to hear your desperate and depraved voice telling him to claim you in the most ultimate way; it was even more beautiful in person than it was that first time he heard it. His fingernails nearly tore holes in the seat as gripped with all this strength to stop himself from coming too fast from all the excitement.
The car began to shake forward and back as Simon snapped his hips into you with a feverish intensity. Even within the first few minutes he was already pussy drunk, slamming into you with a feral roughness that left his rhythm scattered for a bit as his brain only had one objective now: to come.
Your legs were absolutely burning and shaking from the intensity as you had to spread them wide so that he could fit in between, but it didn’t matter; you would have done anything to have him reclaim your cunt as his own again.
The scent of sex was heavy in the air of that enclosed space, the wet slapping sounds of two bodies connecting in that most erotic way keeping the beat.
Yet there was still one more thing he wanted, one more thing that he had been daydreaming about all by his lonesome. Even in this cramped space, he was determined to make it happen- for both of you. His hands were on your legs and before you knew what was happening, he had pulled out of you so that he could situate your calves up on his broad shoulders.
As he thrust back in, the new position helped him reach even deeper until he completely bottomed out. Goddamn it was like you could feel him in your stomach, so full with him that you were completely one being.
“F-fuck…” you stammered out the cry, choking on your words as you writhed uncontrollably. It was almost too much.
“There ya go baby,” he groaned as he started rocking his hips again, unable to contain himself at this consuming euphoria. “Gotta make good on my fuckin’ promise.”
He took you even rougher now, gripping into your hips hard enough to leave purple fingerprints where his hands rested as he pounded into you furiously, your body contorted and at his mercy. The windows of the car were completely fogged over now, the condensation not letting any clear visuals in or out as the axel squeaked with the force of Simon’s thrusts. The console you were still laid on scraped across your back to make it burn as your body was rocked, but the angle was so perfect that the stimulation made your brain blank to anything that wasn’t your second release creeping up on you quick.
There were no more words that could be said as you both devolved into beings hell bent on pleasure alone, just the depraved sounds of grunting and moans filling up the interior to capacity; that growing warmth in your belly nearly reaching its peak
Goddammit, he was closer than he thought due to all the pent up desire he'd been unable to sait for weeks, but he had to be sure you were almost there again too. "Are ya close?" he asked as more of a plea than a question, hips snapping desperately with a shudder as he was losing the battle to his orgasm.
"Yes," you groaned back. "Don't stop, please."
He closed his eyes tight, working to stay from blowing until he felt your thighs twitch and clamp down around him, keeping him locked in. A few more sloppy thrusts slipping through the cum covering your cunt, a few more bumps against your swollen clit, and that was it. The warmth shot through your limbs, coursing like electricity as you came once more.
"Yes, yes, yes!" you cried out and finally he let go and fuck did he come with a roar that stung your ears.
Simon's body convulsed, the muscles in his abdomen tensing and straining as he released weeks and weeks of need. You took it all riding out your orgasms in tandem until you both lay still a moment, simply breathing after such an explosive ending.
He moved back into the seat exhausted, pulling your body along with him as you stayed connected. Lightly he pushed up your dress to press his raw lips to your stomach to kiss down the lower half of your body. Each embrace was another silent praise he gave while he took deep breaths through the high of his ecstasy until his rapidly pounding slowed and he could final re-wet his dry mouth to speak.
“Fuck, I think we both needed that one,” he said against your skin, his warm breath wafting over the fine spread of moisture along your torso, making you tingle as he kept his cock buried inside. “Ya did so good for me sweetheart.”
You reached a hand out to him and he helped you to sit up and into his lap. Wrapping your arm around his neck you pulled him into a deep kiss, letting your mouths linger together with eyes closed for a few moments as you both finished coming down.
“I’m glad your back,” you whispered as your lips parted.
He cupped your cheek with his palm, staring back into your eyes as he smiled. “I’m glad to be back too,” he returned. "And I'm gonna make sure that I make up for all that lost time."
Tag list: @sillylittlereader @babygirl-riley @jarfullofjizz @jamieelol
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rainybyday ¡ 1 year ago
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Pt 2 | Pt 3
Jazz was in awe of her baby brother. Sure, she had seen him in her Ma’s tummy but seeing him in person was different. 
He was so.... squishy and tiny and small and soft! His hands waving in slow motions with legs kicking in the air, closed eyes and baby soft clothes on his new body. Jazz was content on watching her brother like this, hearing his soft coos and simply staying with him but she felt a nudge from her left. 
“Touch him Jasmin,” Big Sister Rosa said. “Hold out your finger to greet him.”
Jazz looked back at her Big Sis. Her dirty (mud covered) blond (dark red) hair shifted so her green (missing) eyes stared at her in gentleness (and understanding, for she too was a big sister once upon a time). Seeing Jazz’s hesitation, she nudged her again towards the crib to encourage her.
Jazz looked at her, then glanced back at her brother. The baby was still wiggling in his position. Hesitantly she reached out her hand to hover over her brother, still a bit unsure as to what she should do. Just when she was about to retreat her hand when the nerves got the best of her, she felt the touch of feathery soft skin. 
Wide blues eyes watched in awe as a tinny tiny hand grazed her’s. Danny was blindly waving his arm to feel her own before little fingers with even tinnier nails finally unclenched from his fist and latching on to her hand. 
A moment of silence passed by before the tiny ittiy bitty baby made a soft whining sound. 
And then-! And then-!
He opened his eyes!
Jazz felt all her breath escaped her in a loud gasp as blurry blue eyes blinked against the bright lights of his nursery. He blinked for a long time before his eyes seemed adjust enough to seek out the soft thing he was touching. 
“Hi baby,” Jazz breathed. “I’m your sister.”
Little eyes blinked as responding hums answered back. 
(The specters watched the two living breathing beings as they conversed with each other. Neither of the siblings knew that those words would have taken a hold of them both. A bind that transcends beyond blood and water.)
(Both pair of eyes glowed under the veil, ebony hair became wispy white and crimson hair became blazing embers.)
(One held the starting of a star in his eyes, space under his shadow, and eternity written in his future.)
(One held the shine of a sun in her eyes, magic on her fingertips, and the birth of infinity that will be the tale of her destiny.)
Jazz protected and loved her brother. Twin laughter can be heard in rooms they claim to play in. Jazz would always insist on feeding him when her parents come to grab him for food. Giddiness would push Jazz to rush to her brother once school is over to tell him about her day. Slowly, Jazz’s life was becoming brighter with her little star by her side. 
The birth of her brother also had another side effect. She would converse with her Big Sisters more, asking questions about her brother's health or ask them what stories her brother would love to hear. Craft projects were made with the upmost care in order to gift them to her little star. She spent a large about of time digging for pretty rocks and wildflowers to present to him as well. More and more she planned her days around what she can do to make her little brother the happiest he can be. 
More and more she started to spend more time outside 
(More and more people of the town started to notice how the predator began to prowl the streets of their uneasy town.)
(Tension began to rise, and every person would start to slow down around corners of their homes. Afraid to meet the gaze of something unnatural, the beginning of something dangerous with too white teeth and too bright eyes. Tension was becoming thicker and only time will tell when it snaps.)
(And it did.)
“What are you smiling about?”
“Hmm?” Jazz hummed as she turned questioning to the voice behind her.
“You heard me!” A classmate yelled. “What are smiling about Witch!”
Jazz tilt her head at the term, not noticing the growing uneasiness of her classmates around her who were staring at the altercation. She pondered at the new word as she answered. “I was smiling because I was thinking of my brother.”
The classmate waited, clearly looking for more of an explanation but got none which agitated them. “So what? You just smiling thinking of your pet?”
Jazz frowned. “Pet? Danny is not my pet.”
No, Danny was her little brother. Her sweet little brother who would smile so adorably with so soft cheeks and playing with ever do gently. Her little brother was her prefect little star. He wasn’t some pet.
Her classmate looked at her disgust. “Thats what a Witch would say.”
“What’s a Witch?”
“What you are!”
She doesn’t understand what that means at all. 
(The unseen dead children cower under the name. The name that was said with such fear yet hunger. The need to destroy and take and light on fire because of that name. Many have seen those that set ablaze, many have been there longer than what their appearance may imply.)
(Many have seen the start of the hunt.)
(The Witch Hunt.)
“Why would you ask that?” Big Sister Annie asked Jazz. 
Jazz, unaware of the troubled look her Big Sister had, answered. “A classmate called me a Witch, but I don’t know what that means.”
(The Fenton Household became still. The elderly couple at the back stopped gossiping with each other as their auras became a deadly shade of black. Big Sister Rosa frozen in kitchen, her open wound on her neck started to drip blood once more and her mulated hands tumbled. The women in dresses of fire started to burn, skin turning black and the smell of ozone.)
Big Sister Annie stayed silent for a long moment. So long that Jazz started to shift every so often for waiting for so long. Finally, as years of waiting (not) Big Sister Annie crouched down to meet her eyes. 
“Listen to me Jasmin.” A̸̰̹̬̭͌̏̅̍͜n̷̺̆͌̽̈́̽́͝n̴͔͉̻̯̪̤͇̐̐͛͋̚͝ę̶̦̓̀̃b̵̈̀̓̀͛ͅë̷̡͚̬̳͎̪́̚t̴̡͊h̷̜̪͖̓ͅ ̷̡͖͎̥̇M̴̡̛̠͖͚͈͋̈́̑̾a̷̢̺̝̭̣͎̾̈́̋̾̑r̷͕̣̐ḯ̶̢̤̉͗̔̒̽͝b̸͍̓̅̂̀ͅe̶̝̬̹̪͇̒̄͒̌́̃͝l̴̰̍l̸̼͕̭̞͂̋̽͝ ̴͖̼̙̞̬̈́̔̃̓G̴̠̭̖̥̦̮̙̓̓͆̉͋̋r̴̜͙͊̽̉͗ã̸͖̞̬̠͎̦̓͆̃͂͜c̷̱͙̬͈̺͗͐͌͆̚e̶̪̭̦̬͉̯̩̔̇̽͂̀ demanded. “Listen to me very carefully to what I am about to tell you. Do you understand?”
“Uh.. Yes?”
“Jasmin.”
“Yes!”
(There's something about history. History always tells us the stories of the past, the winnings of war and the start of buildings anew. History is always taught to show the mistakes we make so that we will be blessed to no repeat them.)
“Witches are people that are hurt by others because people fear them. They don’t mean to cause fear, it's just that people are scared of things they don’t understand, things they deem strange.”
(But we often forget that History is written by the survivors, the winners.)
“Jasmin, you're not strange to me nor to Roselle or Madame Victoria or Master Wischer. We love you so very much, but you have to understand something Jasmin. Not everyone can see us, they don’t understand us, nor do they accept us. It's not their fault nor yours, but sometimes people believe in stories that are passed down far to earnestly.”
(And History, is not always right.)
“We don’t want you to be hurt, so please, listen to me Jasmin. Listen to me.”
(Witches, as they all know, were always burned at the stake.)
That day was the day that Jazz learned how to pretend. Pretend because if she did not, then she will be hurt. 
She doesn’t want to be hurt so she pretends, even if she doesn’t like to pretend that she can’t see the children in her classroom. Or how she can no longer call out to the madams in beautiful gown in the streets or dance in the forest with them anymore without getting caught. Sure, she could still talk with them behind closed doors, but her family started to come less and less by the day. 
Slowly, it became just Jazz and Danny. But her and Danny. And no one else.
(She wonders why they left her.)
It would be years of being normal, years of pretending to read more silently and walk away a bit faster. Years of pretending to be someone she is not. 
It was years of fakeness when she meet someone new, someone lost. 
His name was Jason. 
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novaursa ¡ 8 months ago
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Legacy (the judgment)
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- Summary: Tywin was the man who saved you from Robert's wrath. He was also the man who doomed you.
- Pairing: targ!reader/Tywin Lannister
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Previous part: what was promised
- Next part: high heart
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround @luniaxi
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The throne room was filled with an oppressive air, its gilded walls and high ceilings doing little to mask the dread that radiated from every corner. The Iron Throne loomed at the center, its jagged blades catching the low light, casting specters over the assembled crowd. Tywin sat upon the throne with his customary air of authority, his expression a mask of calm indifference as his sharp eyes surveyed the hall.
To his right, you sat in a high-backed chair, your posture regal despite the lingering discomfort of childbirth. The seat felt hauntingly familiar, the same place you once occupied during your father’s reign, though the room had changed. Gone were the dragon motifs and Targaryen heraldry—now replaced with the lion banners of House Lannister. Yet, the weight of the past lingered, a silent reminder of the cycles of power and loss.
To Tywin’s left sat Cersei, resplendent in a golden gown that mirrored her father’s austere demeanor but failed to hide the venom in her gaze. Her green eyes were fixed on the empty space where Tyrion would soon stand, her lips curling in disdain.
The other judges sat further below, Lord Mace Tyrell looking uncomfortable in his ceremonial robes, his ruddy face betraying his nervousness. Beside him, Prince Oberyn Martell leaned back in his chair, his expression one of casual amusement. His dark eyes flicked to you, his lips quirking into a faint smirk as if to say, How fitting that you’re back here, of all places.
You met his gaze briefly but offered no response, your attention shifting as the heavy doors of the throne room groaned open. A ripple of murmurs swept through the crowd as Jaime entered, his golden hand gleaming in the torchlight as he escorted Tyrion toward the throne.
The crowd fell silent as Jaime stopped before the throne, his green eyes flicking briefly to you. His expression was unreadable, but there was a tension in his movements, a subtle stiffness that betrayed his unease. Tyrion, by contrast, wore a mask of sardonic calm, his lips twitching with what might have been amusement as he glanced around the room.
“Lord Tyrion Lannister,” Tywin’s voice rang out, deep and commanding, silencing even the faintest whispers. “You stand accused of regicide, the murder of King Joffrey Baratheon. How do you plead?”
Tyrion raised his chin slightly, his sharp eyes meeting Tywin’s unflinchingly. “Not guilty,” he said, his voice clear and steady, though a flicker of defiance danced in his tone.
Cersei scoffed audibly, her hand tightening on the armrest of her chair. Tywin’s gaze remained fixed on Tyrion, his expression unmoving as he nodded to one of the attendants. “Proceed.”
The trial began with a parade of witnesses, each more damning than the last. Servants recounted Tyrion’s sharp words to Joffrey, the veiled threats that had peppered their interactions over the years. Cersei herself gave testimony, her voice thick with feigned grief as she painted her brother as a monster, a jealous schemer who had always resented Joffrey’s ascension.
You watched in silence, your hands folded neatly in your lap. Though your face betrayed nothing, your heart clenched as Tyrion sat through the onslaught, his expression growing darker with every word.
Oberyn leaned forward slightly, his fingers tapping idly against the armrest of his chair as he observed the proceedings. He caught your gaze again, his smirk returning, but this time there was something sharper in his eyes, as if he were silently assessing your thoughts.
When it was Jaime’s turn to testify, he hesitated for a fraction of a second, his gaze flickering to Tyrion before he spoke. “My brother has always been… direct,” he said carefully, his tone measured. “But he is no murderer.”
Cersei’s scoff echoed through the hall, but Tywin silenced her with a single look.
The trial continued, the accusations piling higher, the weight of the evidence threatening to crush Tyrion beneath its sheer enormity. You shifted in your seat, your gaze drifting to Tywin. His face was as unreadable as ever, though you had spent enough time with him to sense the faint strain in his posture, the unspoken calculation behind his silence.
As yet another witness took the stand, you glanced at Tyrion. His head was slightly bowed, his hands clenched on the table before him. For all his bravado, that strain now was beginning to show.
The sinister athmosphere in the room grew thicker with each passing moment, the weight of the accusations pressing down on everyone present. And yet, through it all, a single thought echoed in your mind: This is a performance, carefully orchestrated, a game with stakes higher than anyone here realizes.
The sound of the witness’s voice droned on, but your focus remained on the players of this deadly game, each one a piece on the board, moving toward an end that none of them could fully foresee.
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The memory was vivid, as if it had only just occurred. You had been in Tywin’s chambers, a place that had become strangely familiar to you in recent weeks. The hearth was ablaze, its warmth filling the room as you cradled your newborn son in your arms. Damon stirred slightly, his tiny fingers curling around a strand of your hair as you hummed softly, swaying gently to soothe him.
Tywin sat at his desk, his quill scratching against parchment as he worked tirelessly on matters of state. Scrolls and letters were piled neatly before him, his focus unshakable as always. The faint clinking of his signet ring against the inkpot punctuated the silence. Despite his formidable presence, there was a strange domesticity to the scene, a quiet rhythm that had developed between you.
But the peace of the moment was fleeting. You had been turning over your words for days, waiting for the right time. Finally, you spoke, your voice soft but steady.
“What will you do with Tyrion?”
Tywin didn’t look up immediately, the quill pausing only briefly before continuing its path across the parchment. “Tyrion will stand trial, as is proper.”
“And then?” you pressed, shifting Damon slightly as you sat on the edge of a chair near the hearth.
He set the quill down, his sharp green eyes meeting yours, a flicker of irritation flashing across his face. “Justice will be served.”
You exhaled slowly, your fingers brushing over Damon’s soft hair. “Justice, or Cersei’s version of it? You know what she wants.”
“Cersei’s emotions are irrelevant,” Tywin said firmly, leaning back in his chair. “She may cry for blood, but she does not dictate the law.”
“Does she not?” you countered gently, though there was an edge to your tone. “She’s already laid the groundwork, turning the court and the people against Tyrion. And you’ve allowed it.”
Tywin’s jaw tightened, but he remained silent, his gaze locked onto yours.
“Tyrion is your son,” you continued, your voice softening. “You may not show it, but he is. And whether you care to admit it or not, he’s more like you than anyone else.”
Tywin scoffed faintly, though the reaction was muted. “Tyrion is a disappointment. He always has been.”
You shook your head, cradling Damon closer as you leaned forward slightly. “He is clever, resourceful, and determined. Just like you. You may not approve of how he uses those qualities, but they are the same ones you value in yourself.”
Tywin’s gaze darkened, but he said nothing, his fingers steepled beneath his chin as he regarded you.
“If you allow Cersei to destroy him,” you said quietly, “it will only weaken the family. Tyrion may not be the son you wanted, but he is the son you have. He has proven his loyalty to this house time and again, despite how you’ve treated him.”
Tywin’s lips pressed into a thin line, his silence heavy with unspoken thoughts.
You looked down at Damon, his small, peaceful face a stark contrast to the tension in the room. “You care deeply for legacy, Tywin. I know that better than anyone. But legacy is not just power and gold. It’s the people who carry your name. Tyrion is part of that legacy, whether you wish it or not.”
Tywin’s expression was inscrutable, his eyes flickering briefly to Damon before returning to you. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, measured. “What would you have me do?”
“Ensure the trial is fair,” you replied without hesitation. “Keep Cersei’s emotions from poisoning the outcome. And if he is found guilty—if there is truly evidence to condemn him—don’t let it be her hands that carry out the punishment.”
Tywin studied you for a long moment, the flickering firelight casting shadows across his stern features. Finally, he leaned forward, his hands clasped on the desk. “You presume much, Y/N.”
“Perhaps,” you admitted, your tone unwavering. “But I speak because I know you value strength and reason above all else. Tyrion embodies both, even if you refuse to see it.”
He didn’t respond immediately, his gaze dropping briefly to the papers on his desk. When he spoke again, his tone was quieter, almost contemplative. “You are more forthright than most. It is… refreshing.”
You blinked at the unexpected compliment, but before you could respond, Damon stirred in your arms, drawing both your attention. Tywin’s eyes softened imperceptibly as he looked at the boy, and you seized the moment.
“For Damon’s sake,” you said gently, “keep this family intact. He deserves to grow up surrounded by strength, not destruction.”
Tywin’s gaze lingered on you and Damon for a moment longer before he straightened, his mask of composure returning. “I will do what must be done.”
It wasn’t the answer you’d hoped for, but it wasn’t a dismissal either. You nodded, knowing you had planted a seed, even if Tywin would never openly acknowledge it. As the memory faded, your attention returned to the present trial. Tyrion stood before the court, defiant and alone, but you held onto the faint hope that your words had reached the man seated on the Iron Throne.
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Witness after witness had been paraded before the court, each painting Tyrion in a darker light. You sat silently to Tywin’s right, your composure a carefully maintained mask, though inside, you felt a growing sense of unease.
Tyrion had held himself together remarkably well through most of the trial, responding to the accusations with biting sarcasm and cold wit. But now, as another name was called, you noticed the subtle shift in his demeanor.
“Shae,” the court crier announced.
The air in the room seemed to freeze. Tyrion’s head snapped up, his mismatched eyes narrowing as Shae stepped forward. Your own heart sank as you recognized her, the woman Tyrion had once confided in, loved even. She was dressed plainly, her usual warmth replaced by an icy resolve as she avoided Tyrion’s gaze and walked to the stand.
You cast a quick glance at Cersei, seated on Tywin’s left. Her satisfaction was evident, a smug smile curling at the corners of her lips as she watched Shae take her place. It became painfully clear that Shae had been turned, manipulated into playing a role in this farce of a trial.
“What is she doing here?” you muttered under your breath, your voice barely audible. Tywin didn’t react, his gaze fixed on Shae as the questioning began.
“Shae,” the prosecutor began, his voice dripping with false sympathy. “You served as a handmaiden to Lady Sansa Stark and were in close proximity to Lord Tyrion during his time as Hand of the King, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Shae replied, her voice trembling slightly, though whether it was from fear or anger, you couldn’t tell.
“And during that time,” the prosecutor continued, “did you observe any… troubling behavior from Lord Tyrion?”
Shae hesitated, her hands twisting in her lap. “Yes,” she said finally, her voice growing stronger. “He… he was cruel. He spoke of Joffrey with hatred. He said he wanted him dead.”
You felt Tyrion’s entire body stiffed from where you sat. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the table before him, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked as though it might shatter.
The prosecutor pressed on, his tone becoming more insidious. “And did Lord Tyrion ever discuss how he might carry out such a desire?”
Shae looked down, as though ashamed. “Yes. He told me… he told me he would strangle the boy. With his own hands.”
The words sent a ripple through the courtroom, gasps and murmurs filling the air. Tyrion’s face twisted with a mixture of rage and pain, his control slipping with every word.
You leaned forward slightly, your heart aching for him. It was clear to anyone who truly knew Tyrion that the accusations were absurd, but in this room, truth mattered little.
“Why are you doing this?” Tyrion’s voice cut through the noise, raw and trembling with fury. He stood slowly, his gaze locked on Shae. “Why are you lying?”
Shae flinched but didn’t look at him. “You broke my heart,” she said quietly, the tremor in her voice betraying her conflicted emotions. “I loved you, and you threw me away like I was nothing.”
Tyrion took a step forward, his voice rising. “I sent you away to protect you! To keep you safe from them!” He gestured to Cersei and Tywin, his voice dripping with contempt. “And now you stand here and spit their lies like a puppet.”
Shae’s gaze finally lifted, but it was filled with a mix of anger and shame. She opened her mouth to respond, but Tywin’s voice cut through the tension.
“Enough,” he commanded, his tone icy. “The witness will step down.”
Shae hesitated, her lips trembling as though she wanted to say more, but she obeyed, retreating from the stand. As she passed Tyrion, she avoided his gaze, her steps quick and unsteady.
Tyrion turned to the court, his eyes blazing with fury. “Is this what passes for justice?” he spat, his voice echoing through the hall. “A parade of lies and manipulations, all to satisfy Cersei’s thirst for vengeance?”
“Mind your tongue,” Tywin said coldly, his gaze hard.
Tyrion laughed bitterly, the sound sharp and mirthless. “Why? So you can pretend this is fair? So you can continue this charade as if the outcome hasn’t already been decided?”
The dread in the room was set ablaze, the air crackling with the weight of his words. Tyrion stepped forward, addressing the gathered lords and ladies. “I did not kill Joffrey, but I wish I had. Watching him die gave me more satisfaction than I’ve felt in years.”
Gasps erupted from the crowd, and even you couldn’t suppress the flicker of shock that crossed your face.
“I wish I was the monster you think I am,” Tyrion continued, his voice rising, his anger boiling over. “If only to tear this family apart the way it’s torn me apart.”
You could feel Tywin’s gaze shift toward you briefly, though you kept your eyes on Tyrion, your heart pounding in your chest.
“I demand a trial by combat,” Tyrion declared, his voice ringing out like a bell, silencing the murmurs in the crowd.
The room fell into stunned silence. Even Tywin’s composed mask slipped for a fraction of a second before he regained control. Cersei’s face twisted in fury, her hands clenching the armrests of her chair.
You exhaled slowly, the weight of Tyrion’s words settling heavily in the room. The game had just changed, and the stakes had risen higher than ever.
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The cold stone walls of the dungeons were damp, the faint sound of dripping water echoing through the halls. Jaime Lannister made his way down the dimly lit corridor, his expression was a mix of frustration and concern, his strides purposeful as he approached Tyrion’s cell.
Tyrion sat on the small bench inside, his head leaning back against the wall, his eyes closed. When Jaime’s footsteps stopped just outside the bars, Tyrion opened one eye, his lips curling into a wry smile.
“Well, well,” Tyrion drawled, sitting up and gesturing grandly. “The Kingslayer graces me with his presence. To what do I owe the honor?”
Jaime sighed, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. “What are you doing, Tyrion? You had a way out, and you threw it away.”
Tyrion chuckled humorlessly. “Ah, yes, the way out where I grovel before our dear father, admit to crimes I didn’t commit, and let him send me to the Wall to freeze my arse off for the rest of my days. Tempting.”
Jaime gripped the bars tightly, his expression hard. “It was better than this! You think I don’t know what Cersei is planning? She’ll name the Mountain as her champion, Tyrion. Do you really think you can win against him?”
Tyrion shrugged nonchalantly, though there was a flicker of unease in his eyes. “I’m not dead yet, am I? And who knows? Perhaps the gods will favor me.”
“The gods?” Jaime’s voice rose, incredulous. “You’ve never put stock in the gods, Tyrion, so don’t start now. This isn’t a game anymore.”
Tyrion leaned forward, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, it’s always been a game, Jaime. You’re just upset because I’ve decided to play by my own rules.”
Jaime slammed his golden hand against the bars, the sound ringing out in the still air. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Father was going to spare you. He wouldn’t let you die. All you had to do was plead guilty, and he would have sent you to the Wall. But now…” He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Now, you’ve spat on his mercy, and you’ve undermined all the efforts made to protect you.”
Tyrion’s smirk faltered slightly, and he raised an eyebrow. “Efforts? What efforts?”
Jaime leaned closer, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “Our stepmother—Lady Y/N—has been working tirelessly to sway him in your favor. She’s risked more than you know to ensure you had a chance. She even convinced him to temper Cersei’s influence over the trial.”
Tyrion froze, his gaze sharpening. “And you think that would have worked? You think she, of all people, could change Tywin Lannister’s mind?”
“She already has,” Jaime shot back, his tone firm. “Father listens to her more than you realize. More than he listens to anyone.”
Tyrion blinked, genuinely taken aback by the revelation. “I suppose the dragon has tamed the lion after all,” he muttered, half to himself.
Jaime’s jaw tightened. “And now, with this stunt, you’ve disregarded all of it. You’ve thrown her efforts—and any chance of clemency—away. Cersei will use this trial by combat to destroy you. She’s already chosen the Mountain. Do you have any idea what that means?”
Tyrion’s expression darkened, and he let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, I know exactly what it means. Cersei’s idea of justice is ensuring my head is mounted on a spike. She’s wanted me dead since the day I was born.”
“And now you’ve handed her the perfect excuse,” Jaime said, his voice heavy with frustration. “Why, Tyrion? Why do this to yourself?”
Tyrion’s gaze hardened, his voice low but laced with venom. “Because I’m tired of being her scapegoat. I’m tired of being the monster everyone blames for their misery. If I’m to die, Jaime, I’ll die fighting. Not crawling to our father for scraps of mercy.”
Jaime shook his head, his frustration palpable. “This isn’t bravery, Tyrion. It’s foolishness.”
“Call it what you will,” Tyrion replied, his tone defiant. “But at least I’ll die on my terms.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke, the silence stretching heavy between them. Finally, Jaime straightened, his expression grim. “If this is truly what you want, then so be it. But don’t think for a moment that you’re the only one paying the price for your pride.”
With that, Jaime turned and walked away, his footsteps echoing down the corridor. Tyrion watched him go, his smirk fading as he leaned back against the wall, his thoughts a tumult of defiance and regret.
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The warm midday sun streamed into the garden, the air heavy with the scent of blooming flowers. You sat on a stone bench beneath a canopy of vines, cradling a cup of water in your hands as you gazed out over the vibrant greenery. Despite the serenity of your surroundings, your thoughts were troubled. The trial had left an unsettling tension in its wake, and your concerns for Tyrion weighed heavily on your mind.
The sound of footsteps drew your attention, and you turned to see Prince Oberyn Martell approaching, his movements as graceful as ever. Dressed in his signature Dornish attire, the colors of House Martell proudly displayed, he carried an air of effortless confidence. His dark eyes sparkled with mischief as he gave you a slow, exaggerated bow.
“My lady,” he said, his voice smooth as silk. “Or should I say, my queen in all but name? How lovely to find you among the roses.”
You managed a faint smile, though your unease lingered. “Prince Oberyn,” you greeted him, gesturing for him to sit beside you. “What brings you to my quiet corner of the world?”
He sank onto the bench with the ease of a panther, his gaze fixed on you. “I wanted to see how the most intriguing member of this… lion’s den is faring after yesterday’s entertainment.”
“Entertainment?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “You speak as if it were a play, not a trial.”
He chuckled, leaning back against the bench. “Was it not both? The intrigue, the betrayals, the grand declarations. It had all the makings of a fine Dornish tragedy.”
You sighed, your fingers tightening around the cup in your hands. “It was no tragedy for you, Oberyn. But for others…”
His smile faded slightly, and he tilted his head, studying you. “You’re worried for the Imp,” he said, his tone more serious.
You nodded, your gaze dropping to the cup. “Tyrion is… not without his faults, but he doesn’t deserve this. Cersei’s hatred for him is blinding, and my husband—” You hesitated, then sighed. “Tywin will allow this charade to continue if it suits his plans.”
Oberyn’s lips curled into a sly smile. “And yet, you sit here, torn between loyalty to your husband and concern for your stepchild. You are a fascinating woman, Y/N.”
You gave him a sharp look. “This is no game, Oberyn. Tyrion’s life is at stake.”
He nodded slowly, his expression turning thoughtful. “You are right, of course. It is no game. But perhaps you’ll find solace in knowing that the Imp’s fate may not be as grim as it seems.”
Your brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Oberyn leaned forward, his dark eyes locking onto yours. “I will be Tyrion’s champion.”
The words hung in the air between you, their weight sinking into your chest. You stared at him, a mix of surprise and apprehension crossing your face. “You would do that?” you asked quietly. “Why?”
He tilted his head, his smile returning, though it was tinged with something darker. “You know why, Y/N. Elia. My sister, murdered by Gregor Clegane under orders from your husband. Our nephew and niece, butchered. This is my chance to avenge them.”
You swallowed hard, the name Gregor Clegane sending a chill down your spine. “And you believe you can defeat him?”
Oberyn’s smile widened, his confidence radiating from him like the sun. “I know I can. The Mountain may be a brute, but he’s slow, clumsy. I’ve trained my whole life for this. I’ve dreamed of this moment.”
You hesitated, your concern growing. “And if you fail?”
“I won’t,” he said simply, his tone unwavering. “But even if I did, what better way to honor my family than to die fighting for them?”
You shook your head, your hands trembling slightly as you set the cup down. “This isn’t just about you, Oberyn. If you fail, Tyrion dies as well. And I… I cannot bear to see another innocent life taken in this pit of vipers.”
Oberyn reached out, placing a warm, steady hand over yours. “You have a kind heart, Y/N,” he said softly. “But kindness alone will not save him. Justice will.”
You met his gaze, the intensity of his conviction almost overwhelming. “I hope you’re right, Oberyn. For Tyrion’s sake, and for yours.”
He smiled, squeezing your hand gently before releasing it. “You’ll see, Y/N. By the time this trial is over, the Mountain will fall, and justice will be served.”
With that, he rose gracefully from the bench, offering you a slight bow before turning to leave. You watched him go, your heart heavy with conflicting emotions. As you gazed down at the roses blooming around you, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the thorns were drawing closer.
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midnight-shadow-cafe ¡ 5 months ago
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Phantom of the 141
Pairing: Task Force 141 x Reader
AU: Phantom of the Opera 141 x reader
Warnings: Dark themes, obsession, possessiveness, stalking, implied violence, minor horror elements, yandere undertones, romanticization of toxic behavior, power imbalance, emotional manipulation.
Author's Note: This is a Phantom of the Opera AU where each member of 141 embodies a different version of the Phantom, haunting the opera house in their own way. Some are gentle protectors, others are dangerous lovers—but all of them are utterly devoted to you. Inspired by gothic romance, dramatic declarations of love, and an all-consuming need to claim one's muse. I’ve been obsessed with the PotO for so long and I see a lot of people have Simon as the phantom but what is all the boys were Phantoms?
Masterlist | Part 2
MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+
Simon "Ghost" Riley – The Haunting Shadow
The darkest, most untouchable Phantom—a presence that lingers in every corner of the opera house, watching, waiting.
- You never see his face—only the silhouette of his bone-white mask reflected in the grand mirrors of your dressing room.
- He moves in absolute silence, appearing and disappearing like a specter. The air shifts when he’s near, the candlelight flickers. Your heart pounds, knowing he’s close, even if you can’t see him.
- His voice is deep, smooth, and inescapable—it comes from everywhere and nowhere all at once. It seeps into your mind like a melody you can’t unhear.
- “Sing for me, songbird…” he whispers in your ear, the warmth of his breath brushing against your skin. You spin around—no one is there.
- “Only for you,” you find yourself murmuring back, entranced.
- You wake up to handwritten sheet music left on your vanity, unfinished compositions waiting for your voice to complete them.
- “You are my inspiration,” the note reads, inked in his bold, elegant script. “The only one worthy of my music.”
- You press your fingers to the parchment, your heart aching at the devotion woven between the notes.
- When another man dares to get too close—a suitor, a fellow performer— they vanish.
- No one dares speak of it. A freak accident, the stage crew whispers.
- But that night, Ghost’s voice is different—less controlled, more desperate.
- “No one will take you from me,” he growls, the faintest trace of vulnerability bleeding through.
- His gloved hand caresses your throat before tilting your chin up. “You are mine, love. Say it.”
- And God help you, you do.
---
John Price – The Mastermind
The true ruler of the opera house, its unseen king. Price is not just a Phantom—he is a powerful, possessive force who ensures that you belong to him, whether you realize it or not.
- The lead role is yours before you ever auditioned. Your name appears at the top of the cast list, as if fate itself placed it there. You never saw who made the decision—only a lingering wisp of cigar smoke in the director’s office.
- He watches your performances from his private balcony, an unreadable expression on his face.
- His eyes never leave you, burning with something dangerous yet reverent.
- When the crowd erupts into applause, his lips barely part: “Good girl.”
- You shiver, unsure if you imagined it.
- He visits your dressing room after each performance, inspecting you like an artist admiring his masterpiece.
- “You’re extraordinary, love,” he murmurs, adjusting a loose strand of your hair. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
- His voice is warm, smooth like velvet, but his touch is possessive—lingering, unwilling to let go.
- You never question why the doors always lock behind him.
- When you try to leave—when the opera house begins to feel like a cage of velvet and gold—you find yourself unable to escape.
- The doors don’t open. The carriages won’t take you. The world outside seems to bend around his will.
- “You trust me, don’t you?” he murmurs, standing behind you, hands resting on your shoulders.
- Your reflection in the mirror looks lost, trapped between love and fear.
- “I’ve given you everything,” he breathes against your ear. “Why would you ever leave?”
---
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish – The Passionate Phantom
Unlike the others, Soap doesn’t want to frighten you—he wants to win you.
- Your dressing room is filled with roses, their petals soft and blood-red, their scent wrapping around you like a lover’s embrace. Each one is accompanied by a handwritten letter, signed only with J.
- “You make my heart race like a drum in an orchestra,” one reads. “Sing for me, bonnie���I want to hear how love sounds.”
- You press the letter to your chest, feeling the weight of his devotion settle into your bones.
- One night, when you hum a tune absentmindedly, another voice joins yours from the shadows.
- It’s warm, rich, full of love—a perfect harmony.
- “You sing so beautifully, lass,” he murmurs. “But you already knew that, aye?”
- The warmth of his presence envelops you, a stark contrast to the cold loneliness of the opera house.
- When he finally reveals himself, he doesn’t threaten you—he kisses you, hard and desperate.
- “I’ve loved you from the moment I heard you sing,” he confesses, his forehead pressed against yours.
- “Let me love you. Let me be yours.”
- And when he looks at you like that—like you’re the only star in the night sky—you almost want to say yes.
---
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick – The Gentle Phantom
The most human, the most tragic—the Phantom who loves you but fears you’ll never love him back.
- He doesn’t send roses or whisper threats—he leaves music.
- Late at night, the soft notes of a piano drift through the empty theater, melodies that make your heart ache.
- They sound like longing, unspoken words, a love that will never be returned.
- And yet, you still hum along, feeling his presence lingering in every note.
- You catch glimpses of him—a face half-hidden behind a curtain, warm brown eyes watching you from the rafters.
- When you turn, he’s gone. Always gone.
- But his presence lingers, like a ghost that refuses to leave your heart.
- One night, he steps into the light, mask in hand. His hands tremble.
- “If you knew me,” he whispers, his voice raw, broken, “would you love me?”
- Your breath catches—because for the first time, you realize…
- Maybe you already do.
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Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜
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scary-grace ¡ 8 months ago
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if my heart was a house - a shigaraki x f!reader fic
It's been nineteen years since Tomura was sentenced to death, and you've built a life in the space he left behind, braced each day for the worst. You're prepared for everything - the questions your daughter asks, the memories that sting a little more in the winter, the specter of the news you've been afraid of for years. But of all the things life's thrown your way, it's the one you haven't dared to hope for might be the one thing you can't handle. (cross-posted to Ao3) The prequel can be found here: what I can't remember now written for @pixelcafe-network's Challenge Friday event! Banner/divider by @cafekitsune
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
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Chapter 1
You know even before you open your eyes that it’s snowed overnight. The world always sounds too quiet afterwards, and you used to have so many words to describe it – almost comforting, almost eerie, almost serene. But that was when you were young. Now you’d replace all those words with a different one: Empty. You used to love the winter, the first snowfall of the year, and you still do. But it always reminds you of him. And he’s gone.
He’s been gone for years now. The length of time you spent with him has been swallowed six times over by the time you’ve spent alone, and you’d like to think that even in the beginning, you wore your sadness well. Now, nineteen years in, it barely shows. You keep it buried through spring, summer, autumn – until the first frost, the first freezing rain, the first icicles on the eaves and the first drifts of snow on the ground, when it crawls free of the grave and sprawls on top of you at night. You met Tomura in the winter. Fell in love with him by spring. You got two more winters with him after that, and then he was gone, and nothing can fill the space he left behind.
But even if one chamber of your heart is frozen open for good, the rest is still alive. And there’s room for a different kind of love, a way for you to translate your grief rather than buckle beneath its weight. There’s a knock at the door to your room, and your daughter’s voice slips cautiously in. “Mom? Are you awake?”
“I’m awake,” you say, and you blink away the tears. “Come in.”
Even at eighteen, Chihiro still hesitates before she steps across the threshold, but once she’s made the choice, she throws herself onto the bed with abandon. “We got half a meter. That’s even more than the forecast said.”
“And we’ve still got power. Lucky us.” You wipe your eyes, just in case, and turn to face her. “Good morning, kiddo.”
“How long do I have to be kiddo? I’m almost done with high school.”
“Okay, you’re right,” you compromise, even as your throat tightens. She’s never met her father, never will, but the tone in her voice when she’s putting her foot down reminds you painfully of him. “What should I call you instead?”
“My name. You’re the one who picked it out.” Chihiro’s dressed in her pajamas with a hoodie thrown over them, and you can see her phone lighting up through the front pocket. “Don’t you like it anymore?”
“I love it,” you say, “Chihiro. Did you sleep okay?”
She nods. There’s something on her mind. You can tell by the way her brow furrows, and the way her mouth thins tells you that she’s planning to keep it quiet. Or that she’ll try. Chihiro has a hard time keeping her feelings inside. She and Tomura have that in common, but while you always gave Tomura space to figure out how to say what he needed to, you always let Chihiro know you’re aware, and listening. “What’s going on up there, Chihiro, my daughter who’s almost done with high school?”
She rolls her eyes, but a smile is pulling up the corner of her mouth. Her smile’s always been a little lopsided, but so has yours. “There’s only one morning of the year you ever sleep in,” she says. “The first time it snows. And then you’re different all day – not mad or depressed or anything. Just different. I was wondering why.”
“I’m sorry,” you say at once. “I’m not upset with you. It’s not anything you did. You could never do anything that would –”
“I know, Mom.” Chihiro’s crimson eyes are intent on your face. “It’s one day. You get to be weird if you need to. I just wanted to know – is it because of him? My dad?”
When she was little, you’d lie, and tell her the snow is so pretty that you can’t help but get emotional about it. There was a while where she didn’t ask. But she’s old enough now that you can admit it. You think. “Yeah,” you say. Your voice is steady. You’re proud of that. “This is around the time of year when I first met him. It brings back memories.”
“Good ones?” Chihiro settles into the pillows the way she used to when she wanted a bedtime story. “Tell me.”
You hesitate. “Not the gross stuff,” Chihiro clarifies. “I don’t want to know about that. Kaori’s mom tells her all about that stuff. And she bought her a vibrator for her birthday.”
“Huh,” you say after a second. “That’s sex-positive of her.”
“You’re being nice. What do you really think?”
You think she reminds you of Tomura. He never let you duck behind the niceties; he always wanted to know your real reaction. “I think it’s weird. Especially if Kaori didn’t ask.”
“She definitely didn’t. She’s really shy.” Chihiro grimaces. “I’m glad you’re not weird like that.”
Not weird is a good thing. Maybe. “You know I’m here if you need to talk about –”
“No, Mom. Gross.” Chihiro buries her face in the pillow. “Tell me about my dad.”
“Okay,” you say. “Your dad. He, um – there was something about him. I never met someone like him before, and I haven’t since. He told the truth about stuff, even if it wasn’t pretty, and he said what he thought even if it was a bad time. One time we went on a double date with one of his friends and their new boyfriend, and the first question out of your dad’s mouth was whether the boyfriend had drawn his facial hair on.”
Chihiro wheezes. “That’s awful,” she says, but she’s laughing – just like you were. “Had he, though?”
“We never got an answer,” you say, and Chihiro laughs harder. “Your dad could be a jackass sometimes, even to people he liked, but when it really mattered, he’d –”
Kill for them. You swallow the words. “He was there for people when they needed him,” you say instead. “He was always there for me. Even if he didn’t know the right thing to say, I could count on him to listen. And he never gave me a hard time for standing up for myself. Not even when we argued about things.”
You were sort of a pushover early on. You were worried that saying no would make you difficult, and being difficult would make him want to leave. It wasn’t how you were most of the time, or how you’d been before you and Tomura got together, and he wasn’t scared to call you out. You remember the grin on his face the first time you really put your foot down about something, set a boundary and held it. I knew you were in there somewhere, he said. This is how I like you.
That was something you loved about being with Tomura: You were good for each other. You made each other better. “It sounds like you were happy,” Chihiro ventures, and you nod. “Do you think you’d have gotten married sometime? Did you guys want kids?”
Married, maybe. Your friends and his all used to joke that the two of you were the old married couple of the group, but while you talked about the future, you almost never talked about marriage to go with it. Not until it was almost the end, and you never made it to the discussion, any discussion, about having kids. Your pregnancy was catastrophic because of what happened before it, but even if it hadn’t been, it would have raised a lot of questions that neither you nor Tomura knew how to answer. “We were really young,” you say. “I was only twenty-two. We hadn’t had that talk yet. But I think we’d have talked about it if –”
“Yeah.” Chihiro’s voice is muffled by the pillows. “Did he know about me? Before he died?”
Your stomach clenches in a tight, guilty cramp, one that’s been getting steadily worse over the years. “I didn’t find out until after he was gone.”
“Oh.” Chihiro’s voice goes small and wavering. “Do you think – um – do you think he would have liked me?”
There’s no way to know. That means what you say next isn’t technically a lie. “He would have loved you,” you say. Her shoulders shake, and you rest your hand on her back to settle her, the same as you’ve done since she was a baby. “Just like I do.”
Chihiro turns her head to look at you, her eyes glassy with tears. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You rub her back in slow circles. “Ask about him whenever you want. I’ll always try to answer.”
“Do you miss him?”
Other than your daughter’s ragged breathing and your own steady, shallow sips of air, there’s no sound in the world. When you open up the blinds, you’ll see an empty snowfield, unmarked by human footprints for a little while longer. Footprints in the snow will be filled in by the next storm or melted away in the thaw, but the marks Tomura left on you are indelible. There will never be room for someone else where he stood, because he’s still standing there, somewhere you can’t reach.
Sometimes you’ve thought, selfishly, that it would be easier if he really was dead, just so you wouldn’t have to cope with knowing that he’s still out there, knowing exactly where he is with no way to get to him. You’ve let Chihiro think he’s dead. You tell yourself it’s easier for her this way. It’s better that she doesn’t know what really happened to Tomura. The fact that you know is bad enough.
“Mom?” Chihiro asks, and you realize you never answered her question. “Do you still miss my dad?”
You still love him. That’s the same thing. “I do,” you say. “Every day.”
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Chihiro cries herself out, and then it’s time to get moving. Her school has a late start, not a snow day, and you still have to go to work. You make a special breakfast anyway, play the music you and she used to dance to when she was little, and soon your daughter’s smiling again. Chihiro doesn’t have trouble being happy, not like you and Tomura both did. Still do, probably. Your depression was just that, but the sheer weight of Tomura’s past regularly threatened to crush him, and you doubt the nineteen years he’s already spent in prison have done anything to improve things.
But Chihiro knows how to be happy, and you know, because she tells you when she’s not. You’re not naive enough to think your teenager tells you everything, but she knows she can talk to you. And she does talk to you, getting steadily back to herself as you eat breakfast and clean up and get ready, her for school, you for work. Then the two of you crunch your way to the car and start digging it out of the snow. The snowplows must have been out last night and early this morning, because the road doesn’t have much in the way of accumulation. You’ll have to be careful of ice.
You’re both a little sweaty under your winter coats when you get in the car at last. “I’m already gross,” Chihiro complains. “Why can’t we get a garage or something?”
“Where would we put it?”
“In your room,” Chihiro says. You snort. “Or in mine. Since I’m going to uni soon.”
Your heart sinks whenever she says that, but you’ll be damned before you let it show. “You’ll still need somewhere to stay when you come back,” you say. “Maybe we don’t really need a kitchen.”
Chihiro rolls her eyes. “What? You’re not planning to turn my room into, like, a sewing room or something once I go to school?”
"No," you say. "My parents did that when I went away. I hated it."
Looking back, you took it way too personally. They weren’t saying they were done with you, or that the place you’d grown up wasn’t home anymore. You were just hurting, and looking desperately for a reason why. Coming back on school break to find your room cleaned out was a good one. “I’m not going to do that,” you say to Chihiro.“Even when you live somewhere else, you’ll always have a place with me.”
Chihiro glances sideways at you. “Kaori’s mom is freaking about her moving away.”
“Kaori’s mom freaks out a lot,” you say. You and she should have bonded, because you’re the only single moms in this small town, but Kaori’s mom makes you nervous. “How does Kaori feel about it?”
“Her mom will be fine. She’s not worried.” Chihiro pauses for a long moment. “I am, though.”
Your grip on the steering wheel goes white-knuckled. “About Kaori’s mom?”
“About you,” Chihiro says. You reach a stop sign, come to a full stop, and turn to look at her. There’s a stubborn set to her jaw that’s all too familiar. “Kaori’s mom is crazy. But Kaori’s mom has a life. She goes out some nights and her friends come to visit and she has parties and hobbies —“
“I have hobbies,” you protest.
“Yeah. Your hobby means you hang out in the house all day,” Chihiro says. “You can't carry your sewing machine and all your fabric to a craft party. Maybe if you learned to knit or something —“
“I’m not going to knit.”
“Something,” Chihiro says firmly. “Something that means you’re not alone all the time. I’m excited to go to uni. I’m worried about what’s going to happen to you when I leave.”
You’ve fucked up, big-time. “Chihiro, I understand why you —“ No, you don’t. All you understand is that you were stupid to think your damage didn’t show, awful for making Chihiro think she has any responsibility for your mess of an internal life at all. “It’s not your job to make sure I’m okay. I can take care of myself.”
“It’s not about taking care of yourself,” Chihiro fires back. “It’s about being happy. You want me to be happy, right?”
“Of course I do,” you say. “I love you.”
“I love you, Mom.” Chihiro says it bluntly, unashamedly. “So I want you to be happy, too.”
You don’t know what to say. It’s quiet, and it keeps being quiet, until a car pulls up behind you and honks its horn. You refocus on driving in a hurry. With you distracted, Chihiro pushes the point. “You barely even talk to people, Mom. Kaori’s mom thinks you hate her because you never say yes when she asks to hang out.”
“I don’t hate her,” you say. Chihiro’s skeptical look skewers you to the seat. “Look, she’s just not — it’s complicated.”
“No it’s not,” Chihiro says. “Next time she asks to hang out, say yes.”
No. “What if I sign up for an art class at the community center instead?”
“Do that, too,” Chihiro says. You grimace. “You want me to be happy. I’ll be happy if I know you’re talking to other people and doing stuff that’s not in the house. I don’t want to come back on a school break and find out you’ve only been talking to the trees or something.”
She pauses. “I guess you can talk to them a little. As long as you don’t start thinking they talk back.”
“Got it.”
You drop Chihiro off at school less than a minute before the bell rings, but she still makes you get out of the car and hug her. She hugs really tight. She got that from you. Tomura used to complain jokingly that you were a boa constrictor in a girlfriend suit. You kiss her forehead and send her on her way, then get back in the car and drive to work, feeling even worse than you did when you opened your eyes to a snowy silence this morning.
Chihiro’s wrong about Kaori’s mom. It is complicated — not because you hate her, but because she’s the nosiest person in town, and because you’ve got a lot to hide. You didn’t mean to have a lot to hide. It was just something that happened, and as the years since Tomura’s conviction have unfolded, you’ve gotten steadily more attached to the lie. It’s not about you. It’s about Chihiro, who shouldn’t have to live with the knowledge that her father’s a convicted murderer awaiting execution in supermax prison, who shouldn’t have to deal with people looking at her differently. It’s about Chihiro. It’s not about you.
Or so you tell yourself. But there’s a reason you fled from Tokyo in the aftermath of Tomura’s sentencing, why you cut off contact with his friends and yours, why you dyed your hair and changed your phone number and nuked your social media along with every email address you ever had. People hated Tomura. And because you were with him, they hated you, too. It didn’t matter that you knew nothing. That the murders he was accused of committing took place before you met him. Even if you’d dumped him the second he was arrested, you’d have been called stupid for not seeing it all along. You couldn’t hack it. You were headed for a breakdown at high speed. But you would have stayed, if Tomura hadn’t told you to go.
The last time you spoke to him was after his sentencing, as they were taking him away. You seized his hands, already cuffed, his wrists chafed raw, and for a split second, he held on so tightly that one of your fingers broke. Then he looked up, hopeless fury in his eyes. Get out of here. Don’t come back. I don’t want you to watch.
You thought he meant he didn’t want you to watch him being shoved into an armored truck for transport, but when your letters came back unopened, when he refused to let you visit or even call him, you realized the truth. He wanted you gone, just as completely as he was gone from you. That moment in the courtroom was the last one you’d ever have with him. And that was what tripped the breakdown at last. You were throwing up too much to overdose and you were too chicken to try another way, so you went to the doctor to figure it out so you could kill yourself with your chosen method. You just wanted anti-nausea pills. The doctor did bloodwork, made you give a urine sample, and gave you a diagnosis.
“Hyperemesis gravidarum,” he said, and you looked at him blankly. “You’re pregnant.”
He expected you to get an abortion. Everybody and their mother probably expected you to get an abortion. If Tomura had been there, if your accidental pregnancy had been something the two of you were dealing with together, it probably wouldn’t have even been a question. And for any other pregnancy, it would have been the only viable option in your mind. But when you thought about it, about this pregnancy, your mind rejected the idea so violently that you threw up again. You couldn’t get rid of this baby. You needed it. Looking back, you know your reasons were terrible. You had a kid so you wouldn’t be alone. So you’d keep some memory of Tomura close to you always. So you’d have a reason to keep getting up in the morning, a reason to eat and sleep and exercise, a reason to find a new job in your new town and work hard at it. So someone would need you. So you could do something with your agony at losing Tomura, grab it with both hands and twist it back into love. Deciding to have the baby was the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. And raising Chihiro, loving her, is the most important thing you’ll ever do.
She’s right about you. You do live for her. And if that means signing up for a pottery class at the community center and agreeing to grab tea with Kaori’s crazy mom so she won’t worry, that’s what you’ll do.
You work in the combined billing/records/HR department at your town’s medical clinic, with occasional ventures to the front desk when a receptionist is out sick. You spend a lot of time staring at the computer, a lot of time on the phone, and very little time talking to your coworkers — but you’ve been here for seventeen years, longer than almost anyone else. You were working here before some of your coworkers were out of primary school.
Dr. Kawada is your age, though. He greets you as you walk in. “Glad you made it. Anybody who lives past the town limits is staying home.”
“They should. The roads are terrible even with the plows out.” You hang up your coat, then sit down and power up your computer. “How many patients do you think we’ll get?”
“We have a ton of cancelations already,” Keiko, the nurse-practitioner, reports. She would be the one to make it in — Kawada would crawl here with his teeth if he had to, and she’s his wife, so of course she tagged along. “And there was a call for you, bright and early.”
“For billing? Somebody must have been losing sleep.”
“Not for billing. For you,” Keiko admonishes. “I forwarded it to your phone. It seemed kind of urgent.”
You log into your computer, then decide to check the message while you’re waiting for it to perk up. The voice on the other end of the line is completely unfamiliar. “Hi there. My name is Midoriya Izuku, and I’m a lawyer with the —" There’s a really loud sound on the other end of the line, completely obliterating whatever he was about to tell you about the organization he’s part of. “Due to confidentiality I can’t share much over the phone, but it’s really important that I get in touch with you! Please call me back to arrange a meeting —“
You hang up and delete the message. You don’t like lawyers, and this guy sounds like he has prosecutor written all over him. Or else he’s a reporter lying to you about his credentials to trick you into giving him a quote. The twenty-year anniversary of Tomura’s conviction is coming up, and there were articles at the ten-year mark, too. You’re more concerned about how this Midoriya Izuku got your number in the first place. You’re not easy to find. You made yourself tough to find on purpose.
It’s a quiet day at the office. Almost all the appointments are canceled, which means that the walk-ins get seen almost immediately, and you have time to start on your end-of-the-year reports. And time to talk, because Keiko and Dr. Kawada are in talkative moods, and you’re the best and only target. “How’s Chihiro?” Keiko asks. “Has she picked a school?”
“Not yet. Still weighing her options,” you say. And then, because you’re tired: “She’s worried about what will happen to me once she leaves.”
“Tell her not to worry. We’ll take care of you!” Dr. Kawada says with a grin. “What’s she worried about, anyway? You seem fine.”
“I am fine. But I’m signing up for an art class so she’ll stop worrying that I’m going to wither away alone,” you say. Dr. Kawada snorts. “How I’m doing isn’t her responsibility. She didn’t ask to be born and I didn’t have her so she could take care of me.”
“Nobody thinks that,” Keiko says. She gives you a weird look, but then she changes the subject. “Hey, but even once she moves out, you don’t have to be alone! Me and Shogo know lots of people we want to set you up with!”
You’re pretty sure your face goes dead white. “What?”
“I mean, I know you haven’t been seeing anyone since you moved here —"
“Because it’s not about me anymore. It’s about Chihiro.”
“Yeah, but if it’s about Chihiro, shouldn’t you want her not to worry?” Kawada’s not helping. You feel like you might be sick. “I moved here right around when you did and I’ve never seen you date anybody. Things must have gone down real bad with your ex —"
“Shogo!” Keiko swats him, mortified, then looks at you. “Sorry. He should know better.”
“Chihiro’s dad isn’t my ex,” you say. “He’s — gone.”
It’s the same trick you’ve been pulling on Chihiro since she was old enough to ask, and it works on adults, too. Kawada backs off, chagrined. “Sorry,” he says. There’s an awkward silence. “I’ve known you for seventeen years. How did I miss that?”
“I don’t like to talk about it.” You don’t even like thinking about Tomura, but every winter, it’s unavoidable. Every winter the sadness curls up around you, and although time is supposed to heal things, it’s never gotten any easier to throw off come spring. “I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.”
“Yeah,” Keiko agrees. Her eyes are sad. “Still. Tell Chihiro not to worry. We’ll keep an eye on you.”
You force a smile, force your eyes to brighten. “Thank you.”
It’s the clinic’s slowest day in a while, and you spend a lot of it screwing around on the computer. You sign up for an art class, one that meets the same night as Chihiro’s choir practice, so you can pick her up on the way home. You google therapists, too — maybe she’ll feel better if she knows you have one. And maybe you need one. Chihiro’s your daughter, the most important person in the world, the one you’d sacrifice everything to care for. Caring for her takes up most of your thoughts, distracts you from the pain of losing Tomura. Once Chihiro goes away for school, there won’t be anything left to keep your sadness at bay.
Tomura’s been on death row for nineteen years. They could execute him at any time, and you’d never know until his name was released by the government. During his trial, when you realized the death penalty was on the table, you looked up how it would happen. It still haunts you sometimes. You don’t want to think of Tomura with his neck broken, his eyes open and staring, dying with feet chained together and his hands bound behind his back. You want to remember him before it all went wrong. Back when you still believed he was the best thing that ever happened to you.
You met him at university, on a day when the campus was iced over. Your on-campus job started early, which meant you had to make your way to the library on paths that wouldn’t be de-iced for another hour. Tomura had an early class. He was headed the opposite way from you, and you were both so focused on not slipping and falling that you walked headlong into each other and fell on your asses anyway.
Your backpack slid from your shoulders, and the papers Tomura was carrying scattered across the path. Fuck, Tomura said, with feeling, and you laughed. What’s so funny? You fell down, too.
I know, but — An image popped into your head and set you off all over again. We look like we’re in a cartoon. Except without the stars and planets around our heads.
No stars and planets? I want a refund, Tomura said, and cracked a smile that opened up a split in his lower lip. Damn it —
Here. You retrieved your fallen backpack and a packet of tissues, then started gathering the papers Tomura had dropped. Sorry. It looked like you were in a hurry to go somewhere.
Comp-Sci building. I’m never signing up for a 7am again. Tomura’s phone buzzed, and he yanked it out of his pocket. And now it’s canceled. Motherfucker. I have to walk all the way back —
Maybe not all the way, you said, and he looked at you. I work at the library. It’s definitely open. You can hang out there until they get the paths salted.
Tomura looked at you, the tissue still pressed to his bloody lip. You didn’t know his name yet, didn’t know anything about him, but there was something you liked about his face. Something you liked about how he still got in on your joke, even though he was pissed about the fall. Something about the fact that he hadn’t gotten up yet, even though you’d gathered all his papers and were holding them out for him to take. I’ll level with you, he said after a second. I’ve never been to the library.
I get that a lot, you said, and you stood up. The plan was to hold out your hand to help him up, but you moved too fast, and your feet slid out from under you again. You managed to hang on to Tomura’s papers, but you went down hard. Fuck!
Tomura didn’t ask if you were okay. He just lifted the papers out of your hands, set them aside, and helped you sit up with hands that shook ever so slightly. I’m surprised you swore, he said, and you raised an eyebrow. You look like the type who says fiddlesticks instead.
Fuck off, you said, and he laughed. Making him laugh felt like an achievement, one you were proud to win. Looking back, that was when you knew you were in trouble. Maybe we should just crawl to the library.
It’s cold. Walking’s faster. Tomura got shakily to his knees, then his feet, and you copied him. I bet we can make it.
He stumbled twice on the way there, and you stumbled once, but neither of you fell again. You were leaning on each other to balance, more contact than you ever made with guys you weren’t dating, and nothing about it felt tense or awkward. It was just the only thing that made sense to do.
And that’s how everything was with Tomura. It just made sense, and you were so happy — and you think Tomura was, too. You fought sometimes, sure, but everyone does. Sometimes you didn’t know the right thing to say, but neither did he. He had a rough past, and you didn’t push him to talk about it. You just let him share what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and towards the end you had something close to the whole picture. It just didn’t have the murders in it.
No. You don’t want to think about this. You know what you believe about this, and going in a circle won’t help solve anything. You decide to redirect your feelings of frustration by looking up the lawyer who called you. Sure enough, he’s a prosecutor— or he was. Looking at the profile on his law firm’s website, you’re not sure what he does. He was in the news a year or so ago. Some case involving the yakuza.
The bell rings, and since Keiko’s on break and the receptionist got snowed in, you hurry up to the front to check the new patient in. It’s a good distraction. It helps to stay busy. When you’re busy, you don’t have to think about any of it — not Tomura, not the fact that he’s gone, not the fact that your daughter is leaving soon, too. And you don’t have to think about how it won’t be long before all your distractions run out.
Chapter 2 ->
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discothemechanic ¡ 5 months ago
Text
New feelings (Guest 1337 x 007n7)
This is sort of related to my parody @the-lost-guest and Star's parody @technological-patriarch.
When you think about it, 1337 gets hurt a lot. Not that he can really help himself. The Specter left him with nothing but his fists, his strength, and a grudge that would be his constant companion. The Specter hated the guest’s guts, and made sure to make that disgust and disdain as obvious as possible. It wasn't like anyone knew exactly why the Specter hated him, but then again, it didn’t really matter. It just did. Maybe it was what he stood for, maybe it was something more personal. But it was there, heavy, suffocating, like a constant shadow.
Despite it all, 1337 never let up. He kept that stupid motto, the one that he’d forced himself to believe in through all the pain: “Be strong. Always be strong.” It had been his shield, his armor against the world. But even the strongest shields have their cracks. He had his moments. Moments of doubt, where the weight of it all nearly crushed him. The torturous god—the one that left its mark all over his life—broke him more ways than none.
He didn’t like to talk about the nights. The nightmares. The endless dark that chased him, clawing at his mind. Night terrors, they called them. And they haunted him like a vengeful ghost. He never got any rest. Not really. His eyes were always heavy, always tired, from the exhaustion that no amount of sleep could cure. His dreams weren’t normal. No, they were worse. Deaths so brutal, so grotesque that they defied even the limits of PG-13. He watched the people he loved—his friends—fall. And each time it hurt just as badly. Each time it felt just as real.
And the dreams got worse. They always did. As time went on, they chipped away at him, piece by piece. He barely slept anymore, which made everything harder. His mind couldn’t keep up. His reactions were slower. His focus is duller. The world felt like it was closing in on him, a suffocating weight of blood and terror. But the worst part? The worst part was knowing that it wasn’t just the nightmares that made him feel that way.
There were the killers, too. The ones that stalked him, the ones who knew he was an obstacle. The ones who wanted him gone.
He didn’t know it yet, but this round, he was the main target. John Doe—the legend himself—had it out for him. It wasn’t enough for John to simply deal with Builderman; 1337 kept getting in the way. And for some reason, that was unforgivable. John’s obsession with wiping out Builderman was matched only by his need to destroy anyone who dared oppose him.
1337 had the gear, sure. He was armed, equipped. But against giant claws that could slice through steel, what was armor worth? The first strike hit his back—sharp, fast, and unforgiving. It wasn’t a clean cut. His muscles screamed in protest, his skin shredded, but he didn’t scream. He had learned to wear pain like a second skin. Every inch of it. His body was a patchwork of scars, a testament to everything he had endured, and to every enemy that had ever tried to break him.
He ran. He dodged. His mind was racing, calculating his next move, but nothing he did seemed to slow John down. Every punch, every kick—nothing. John didn’t flinch. Didn’t even seem stunned. In fact, he only got faster, more relentless. 1337 needed to get close, but that was like walking into a lion’s den. His usual tactics didn’t work here.
And then, when it seemed like there was no escape, when it seemed like the King of Corruption himself had him cornered, fate took an unexpected turn. A loud crack—then, out of nowhere, a sword. Shedletsky. The chicken man himself. Charging in like a whirlwind, slamming his blade into John Doe with the force of a freight train.
1337 didn’t have time to process it. He didn’t have time to ask why or how. All he knew was that for the first time in what felt like forever, he had an opening. A chance to run.
His heart pounded in his chest, adrenaline surging through his veins as he bolted away, faster than he ever thought possible. He rounded a corner, panting, his breath ragged and shallow. His legs burned, his chest ached, and his body screamed for rest. But there was no time for that. Not yet.
The ballpit. He made it that far—barely. His knees gave way and he collapsed, falling to the cold, hard floor. He didn’t even have the strength to pull himself up the stairs. His vision blurred as exhaustion overtook him, and all he could do was lie there, gasping for air.
The sounds of battle still echoed in the distance, but they felt so far away. For a moment, it was just him and the silence. His heavy breathing the only thing filling the air.
Then, the unmistakable sound of a medkit opening. 007n7. He was there.
The hacker didn’t waste time. He was efficient, already kneeling beside 1337, digging through the kit with practiced hands. Without a word, he gently rolled 1337 onto his stomach, carefully removing the guest’s army vest. The wounds were bad—deep, jagged cuts. His back was a mess. 7n7 winced at the sight of it, though he didn't let it show. The hacker was calm, methodical, despite the severity of the injuries.
“Sorry if this hurts,” 7n7 said softly, his voice surprisingly steady.
It was almost absurd, how much pain 1337 had endured, how much he had taken for others. And yet, now, when it was his turn to be the one needing help, he couldn’t help but feel… helpless. The protector. The tank. The one who took all the hits. Now he was the one lying there, vulnerable. Weak.
Of course they needed him. They always did. But for once, he wasn’t the one holding everything together. He was the one falling apart.
He forced himself to stay conscious, despite the pain. Despite the exhaustion that threatened to pull him under. He couldn’t let himself give up. Not now. Not when they needed him more than ever.
He clenched his fists, willing himself to stay awake as 7n7 worked, his fingers moving with the precision of someone who had seen this kind of injury before.
It felt nice having someone touch him so gently and with such care again. For a fleeting moment, it was like he was back home. Back where things made sense. Back with his wife, Daisy, and his daughter, Charlotte. The warmth of their embrace, the soft way Daisy would hold him after a long day, the laughter that filled the house when Charlotte ran around, full of energy and joy. Those memories were distant now, almost out of reach. But this—this small act of kindness—brought him closer to that feeling.
He hadn't realized how much he had missed being cared for, being looked after. The world had stripped that away from him piece by piece, until he became nothing but a soldier, always fighting, always protecting. It wasn’t just the physical pain that weighed him down—it was the emotional toll of having to be strong, of always being the one people leaned on, never the other way around.
And then there was 7n7. The hacker, quiet and distant, almost always lost in thought. He didn’t seem to have much joy in him—no smiles, no easy laughs. He carried an invisible weight, an air of sadness that clung to him. But 1337 had seen something different in his actions. In the way he talked about his son, the way his voice softened and his eyes lit up when he mentioned him. It wasn’t something that slipped past 1337. The way 7n7 spoke about his son with such raw love and adoration… It was a stark contrast to the cold, calculating person he usually was.
And the small things. Like when they found something—anything—that wasn’t pizza in this hellish world. The way 7n7’s face would light up at the smallest pleasures. It reminded him of those simple moments with Daisy. Of sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a meal, laughing about something silly, and feeling like everything was okay.
It made him feel… something. Something that he couldn’t quite put into words, but it was there. The warmth in his chest, the soft ache in his heart. It reminded him of his wife, Daisy. Of the love they shared, the life they had before everything turned upside down.
Oh, no. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. Not now.
He had felt that before, but now, it felt stronger. The way his heart beat a little faster whenever 7n7 was near. The way his thoughts kept drifting back to him, even as his body was weak and battered. It was the same feeling he had once felt around Daisy—the feeling that he was falling, but this time, it wasn’t her that was filling his thoughts. No. This can’t be right.
It didn’t make sense. They were in a world full of chaos, full of blood and violence. There were bigger things to worry about. But even so, his mind couldn’t help but return to it. He was in love again and it confused him, unsettled him. How could he feel this way, when all he wanted was to get back to the life he’d lost?
His thoughts were interrupted as a sharp twinge of pain shot through his torso. He hissed, flinching instinctively as the hacker pulled the bandages tight. The motion was quick, and it pulled at the raw wounds, making him grunt in discomfort. His vision blurred for a second, and he bit down on his lip, trying to stay still.
"S-Sorry! I-I will be more careful!" 7n7's voice cracked with panic. His hands froze, still hovering over the bandages as if he were afraid to move too much.
The apology felt genuine, and 1337 could hear the worry in his voice. It was strange, seeing someone like 7n7, who seemed so detached and distant, so concerned about him. He could feel the hacker’s hesitation, the uncertainty in every motion. It was strange to see someone care about him like this. He had grown so used to being the one others depended on, the one who always took the hits, always pushed through the pain. But now, here was someone trying to help him, trying to ease his suffering. And despite the pain, despite the emotional whirlwind inside him, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of gratitude.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice raspy. He wasn’t sure if he was comforting 7n7 or himself. “Just… take it slow.” He tried to focus on the steady, rhythmic pulse of his own breathing, grounding himself against the pain.
7n7 nodded quietly, moving more cautiously this time, and as he worked, 1337 couldn’t help but notice how carefully the hacker touched him. Every motion was gentle, deliberate. It wasn’t like the rough, hurried care of someone trying to fix a problem quickly—it was something else entirely. It was the care of someone who was trying to make sure the other person didn’t suffer more than they had to. And it was that that made 1337’s chest tighten.
As 7n7 continued to patch him up, the silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable. It was… peaceful. Strange, considering the situation. But there was something about the quiet, the shared understanding between them. In that moment, it felt like there was no world beyond the two of them, no killers, no threats—just the two of them, existing in this small bubble of care.
And as 7n7 finished, smoothing the bandages down with a final, careful motion, 1337 realized something he hadn’t wanted to admit.
He wasn’t just grateful. He was starting to need this. Starting to need him.
But this couldn’t happen. Not here. Not now. He had to focus. There was so much at stake.
Yet as 7n7 finally pulled away, standing up and brushing his hands off, 1337 found himself wishing—just for a moment—that they could be somewhere else. Somewhere safe. Somewhere where the world wasn’t falling apart. Somewhere where they could just… be.
He didn’t know what he was going to do with all these feelings. But for now, he kept them buried. He couldn’t afford distractions. Not yet.
"Thank you"
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ghostlynightpanda ¡ 1 month ago
Note
HII AGAIN 🤍
I was wondering if you could write a fic of akutagawa x pm!reader but their in a relationship? Preferably fluffy but that's all up to you !!
P.S "Remember to drink water and focus on yourself too!!"
-St4rz 🎀
In the Quiet Moments
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snyposis: A quiet, slow-blooming connection grows between two Port Mafia members—one feared for her strength, the other closed off by a life of loneliness—as they learn to find comfort, warmth, and quiet happiness in each other's silent presence.
content/warnings: Akutagawa x pm!reader, canon-typical blood and violence, 2.370 words
The halls of the Port Mafia headquarters were always cold, but you didn't mind. Cold was familiar. Cold was safe.
They called you the Ghost, though never to your face. You moved like one — silent, precise, leaving no trace but the echo of success. Missions you were assigned to rarely failed, and your ability, "Specter Veil", made you nearly untouchable — phasing through attacks, vanishing from sight, slipping through barriers like smoke through cracks.
No one questioned your strength. No one dared.
Among the underworld's most ruthless, you stood calm and detached. Even the executives offered nods of respect when passing. But you never stayed to talk long. Never shared drinks after missions. Never laughed at Hirotsu's rare dry humor or joined in the louder chaos of the Black Lizard squad.
You were trusted, but not known.
Rumors fluttered like moths in the dark. Some whispered you'd once been a government assassin, others claimed the Boss had pulled you from a battlefield, blood-soaked and nameless. You never confirmed anything. You simply kept moving, job to job, shadow to shadow.
And perhaps, you liked it that way. Or maybe, you'd just forgotten what it meant to want anything else.
Then came Akutagawa.
Another storm in human skin — cold, sharp, proud. The moment your paths crossed, there was no spark, no clash, just silence. He barely looked at you. You didn't care. He wasn't the first Port Mafia prodigy to scowl your way, nor would he be the last.
Still... For some reason, you noticed him more than the others.
Not because of Rashomon, not because of the trail of destruction he left behind. But because he reminded you of a reflection in glass — fierce, but fragile, if you knew where to look.
The warehouse still smelled like gunpowder and damp rust. Your current mission was a success, now you just had to make sure you didn't miss anything important. 
You stood near the broken crates, scanning the shadows once more, your eyes calm but alert. There were always traces left behind—blood on floorboards, stray bullet casings, a whisper of movement that didn't belong. But this time, it seemed clean.
Behind you, Akutagawa exhaled, sharp and impatient. "Nothing left," he muttered.
You gave a small nod and turned to leave, boots tapping quietly against the concrete. Akutagawa followed a few steps behind, coat fluttering faintly through the air, his expression unreadable as always.
Outside, the city had blurred.
Rain poured down like a sudden curtain, turning the world into gray static. The puddles were already wide, deep enough to soak through in seconds. You stopped just before the threshold, your fingers tightening around the handle of your umbrella.
Luckily you'd checked the weather this morning. You always did.
From the corner of your eye, Akutagawa narrowed his gaze at the rain, jaw twitching with irritation. "Tch. How annoying."
You glanced at him—his coat already drawn tighter around his shoulders, like that would help. No umbrella. Of course not. He hadn't expected the downpour, and knowing him, he'd walk straight into it and act like it didn't matter.
You didn't say anything. You just opened your umbrella with a soft click and stepped closer to him.
The black canopy tilted, angling gently so it covered his side too.
He paused.
His eyes slid to you, just a flicker, then to the umbrella, then back to your face. He didn't speak, but the confusion in his features said everything he didn't know how to ask.
Why?
Why bother?
Why share?
You didn't answer out loud. Didn't tease him. Didn't offer some tired line about how he'd catch a cold. You just held the umbrella steady and started walking, letting him fall into step beside you.
The rain pelted the ground around you, merciless and loud. But under that small patch of cover, it was strangely quiet.
Akutagawa stayed silent, his eyes ahead, shoulders stiff. But he didn't move away. Didn't pull the umbrella from your hand. Didn't sneer or scoff.
He just walked beside you, caught in a kind of confusion that wasn't entirely unpleasant.
No one offered him gentleness. Not without expecting something in return. Not without pity or fear.
But you… You just kept walking beside him like it was nothing. Like it was normal.
And for reasons he couldn't begin to understand, he let it be.
It started with a nod.
Barely more than a glance, really. The kind people offer out of politeness or acknowledgment before moving on. But between you and Akutagawa, that nod was a crack in a wall neither of you had meant to build.
The next time you passed each other in the Port Mafia halls — cold, dim, all clean stone and whispered violence — he met your gaze again. Another nod. Just as brief. Just as restrained.
But not cold.
You returned it.
Over the next few weeks, something unspoken began to settle between you. When missions brought you to the same rooms, you no longer felt like shadows brushing past. You took notice — a shared glance during debriefings, a pause when entering the same space, the subtle awareness that he was there.
Then came the first word.
A quiet "morning" from you, offered like a stone dropped in still water.
He blinked, paused like the word didn't quite compute — then replied, his voice low and rough as always: "Morning."
That was all. But it lingered longer than it should have.
Soon after, it became habit. A rare thing in a world where routines were dangerous. Where connections were weaknesses. But somehow, this small ritual became carved into your days.
"Mission today?" "Mm. Training first." "Watch your left — it's bruised."
Casual. Meaningless, perhaps. But not to either of you.
These were not words thrown into the air. They were placed — cautiously, deliberately — like stones paving the first step of a path neither of you had walked before.
And sometimes, after those brief exchanges, you'd catch him watching you as you walked away. Not with suspicion. Not with judgment.
Just watching.
As though trying to understand something he'd never been taught to recognize.
You didn't push. You didn't expect. You simply let it unfold in its own time.
Because somehow, in those quiet fragments, that fragile nothing… became everything.
The sun had long dipped beneath the skyline, leaving Yokohama in a haze of amber and gray. The rooftops were painted with the shadows of steel and smoke — the perfect place to disappear when you didn't want to be found.
Which was exactly why you knew Akutagawa would be here.
You didn't say anything as you stepped onto the rooftop. You didn't need to.
He sat near the edge, his coat draped around him like a cloak, long and dark and fraying at the edges. Shoulders hunched. Hands curled tight in his lap. The flickering neon of the city cast restless light across his face, and in that glow, he looked… smaller.
Not weak. Just tired in a way he wouldn't admit.
You knew what had happened. Word traveled fast in the Port Mafia — even faster when things went wrong. The mission had turned sour, the target escaped, and despite Akutagawa doing everything right, the blame still managed to cling to him like ash.
The Boss wouldn't scold him — not openly. But you'd seen the glances. And Akutagawa had too.
You didn't ask what happened. He wouldn't answer anyway.
Instead, you walked to the edge, a few feet away from him, and sat down. The concrete was cool beneath you, the air heavy with night.
From your coat pocket, you pulled out a small bag of gummy worms and placed it between the two of you. No comment. No gesture. Just… there.
You opened it. Took one. Popped it into your mouth with a soft chew.
Silence stretched out.
Akutagawa didn't look at you. Not at first. He was braced for it — the judgment, the condescension, the sharp breath of someone preparing to tell him you should have done better.
But it never came.
Instead, all he heard was the quiet rustle of candy packaging and the soft, slow rhythm of you chewing. Nothing more. No sighs. No pity.
After a minute, he risked a glance.
You weren't looking at him.
Your gaze was cast over the city like it always was — calm, unreadable, but peaceful. You chewed another gummy worm slowly, completely unfazed, as if you had all the time in the world. As if the failure sitting next to you wasn't something worth flinching from.
You didn't even smile. You were just there.
Present.
And for someone who had been alone for so long in a room full of people, that presence was louder than anything he could remember.
After a moment, he reached into the bag and took a gummy worm.
No words.
But maybe, just maybe… That was enough.
Something shifted after the rooftop.
It was hard to name, harder still to explain. But it was there — in the way the spaces between you grew smaller, in the way silence no longer felt like a barrier but something you shared.
You stopped waiting to bump into him by chance. And he stopped pretending not to look for you.
Now, he'd sometimes appear beside you just as you were finishing a report, a drink in hand — silent offering, no explanation. You'd take it with a soft "thanks," and he'd sit nearby, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Other times, you'd pass him something from your lunch — half a sandwich, a few onigiri, or a small wrapped sweet. He never asked for it, never said he wanted it. But he always took it.
No one said anything. No one needed to.
On training days, the exchange went deeper.
"You're leaning too far forward," Akutagawa would mutter, circling behind you like a storm. "Your balance is off. You'll leave your flank open."
You adjusted, wordless, trusting the direction of his eyes more than any instructor's notes. His voice never softened, but it stopped cutting the way it used to.
Then it was your turn.
"You're too loud," you told him one day, standing side by side atop a high ledge during a reconnaissance drill.
His eye twitched. "I'm not—"
"You are," you said, pointing to the gravel at his feet. "You drag the heel of your step. And your coat brushes the wall when you turn."
He stared at you. Not angry. Just… surprised.
You showed him how to shift his weight to minimize sound, how to breathe through motion, how to vanish between one heartbeat and the next. He didn't thank you, not out loud, but after that, his movements changed. Quieter. Cleaner. Almost ghostlike.
Reciprocity. A give and take neither of you spoke aloud.
It became a rhythm — silent but steady. Like breathing. Like footsteps in sync. You trained harder, sharper with his critiques. He watched your back, his presence steady behind you on every mission. You stopped wondering if he would be there.
He simply was.
You'd catch him glancing at you sometimes — not with suspicion, not with the sharp, restless edge he wore around others. But with something almost… calm.
And when your eyes met, he didn't look away.
It wasn't loud, what grew between you. It didn't need to be.
It was simple.
You gave. He gave back. And in that quiet exchange, both of you — so used to loneliness stitched into the seams of your lives — began to understand something close to happiness.
The mission had ended cleanly. No complications. No bloodshed that lingered longer than it had to.
Still, the walk back felt long in the best kind of way — drawn out by the fading warmth of the day and the soft stretch of silence that had long since stopped being uncomfortable.
You hadn't expected Akutagawa to walk you home.
He didn't offer, didn't explain — he just fell into step beside you after the mission, wordless as always, his coat fluttering faintly in the breeze. He didn't look at you, but his presence was deliberate. He could have vanished into the rooftops or into shadow like he usually did. But this time, he stayed.
You didn't question it.
The streets were quieter now, the golden hour painting the edges of the world in burnt orange and soft light. Store signs flickered to life in the distance, casting a warm glow on the sidewalks. The air smelled like pavement and early summer — cooling, sweet.
Your footsteps matched his, rhythm unspoken.
You didn't talk. You didn't need to.
The silence between you had become something shared, something almost sacred. Where words might ruin the stillness, you simply walked — two shadows side by side, as the sun dipped lower behind the buildings.
Your hands brushed.
Just barely.
A simple thing. The kind of accident that happens when two people walk close. But you felt it. And from the way Akutagawa's hand stiffened slightly — not pulling away, just pausing — you knew he did too.
You didn't move. Neither did he.
A moment passed. Then another. Your hands brushed again — soft and fleeting, like the light breeze rustling the edges of his coat. Not quite bold enough to linger, but not pulling away either.
Someday, maybe, you'd be brave enough to close that distance. To reach out, to link your fingers with his and feel the warmth of his palm wrapped in yours.
But tonight, it was enough.
Enough to walk beside him in the quiet. Enough to feel the weight of his presence beside you. Enough to know he chose to stay, without being asked.
The sky turned dusky pink, and you turned onto your street, your home drawing closer.
Akutagawa slowed, not stopping yet, as if hesitating — like he wasn't sure if he should go all the way with you. Like he wanted to.
You gave him the faintest smile, eyes soft in the golden light. And though he didn't smile back — not exactly — something in his expression shifted.
Gentle. Almost tender.
You said goodnight. He gave a nod, eyes lingering just a little longer than usual.
And then, he turned and disappeared into the coming night.
But somehow, the space beside you didn't feel empty.
Not anymore.
Masterlist
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waliminium ¡ 24 days ago
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Hii I hope I'm not mistaken and requests are open if not sorry about this. Anyway, so at the beginning of season 2 of suits then Daniel is back and he makes Mike go talk to the nurses (ep 3). What about a reader who's Harvey's associate and gets that task but instead calls Harvey cause maybe the thinks something's fishy. And just in general consults him more and doesn't always trust orders that don't come from Harvey? Thank you ^^
A/N: Hi! You're not mistaken requests are always welcome! Thank you <3 Hope you enjoy, and as always if you would like me to tweak some things let me know!! Chain of Command
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader Warnings: subtle workplace manipulation, power dynamics, mild language Word Count: 823
You tap your pen against the edge of your notepad, eyeing the file in front of you with a sinking feeling in your stomach. Daniel Hardman’s handwriting is scrawled across the cover: Nurse Union Negotiation – URGENT.
He’d just handed it to you twenty minutes ago, told you to head downtown and “smooth things over.” But something’s off. For one, this isn’t your wheelhouse. For two… it feels rushed. And for three, Daniel didn’t even ask if you had other work. He just assumed you’d jump.
Your gut twists.
You close the file and grab your phone, scrolling through your contacts until you find the name that matters.
Harvey Specter.
He picks up after one ring. “If this is about you stealing my stapler again, I’m billing you.”
“Tempting,” you reply, dry. “But no. It’s about a file Hardman handed me.”
There’s a pause. “What kind of file?”
“Something about union negotiations. Nurses. He wants me to go smooth things over, but it doesn’t feel right. He didn’t give me much detail. Just that it needed to be done ‘now.’”
You hear Harvey exhale sharply on the other end. “He gave the same task to Mike yesterday.”
That makes your heart drop. “So why’s he handing it to me now?”
“Exactly what I’m wondering.” He’s quiet for a beat. “Good call, coming to me.”
“I don’t like taking orders from someone who thinks I’m an asset instead of a person.”
“That’s why you’re my associate,” Harvey says, and for once, there’s no arrogance in it — just a kind of quiet, affirming certainty. “Hold off on going. I’ll look into what Hardman’s pulling.”
“Copy that.”
You hang up and lean back in your chair, the tension in your shoulders easing a little.
There’s something rotten at the top — but at least you're not alone in seeing it. And as long as you’ve got Harvey in your corner, you’ll keep questioning orders that don’t come from him.
Even if it puts a target on your back.
Later that evening, the office is quiet — most of the firm cleared out, except for the usual ghosts that haunt the late hours. You’re still at your desk, glasses slipping slightly down your nose as you scan an acquisition agreement. The nurses' file lies untouched to your left.
You haven’t heard back from Harvey since your call earlier.
You tell yourself he’s busy. That he’s handling it. But your instincts won’t settle.
A knock on the glass draws your attention, and you glance up. Harvey stands in your doorway, dark coat draped over one arm, eyes unreadable.
You lift a brow. “Coming to scold me for staying late?”
He steps inside. “Coming to thank you. For not walking into a trap.”
Your pen stills.
“So it was a trap,” you say softly.
Harvey closes the door behind him. “Hardman sent Mike to take the meeting. Then he pulled him last minute and threw it to you. If you’d gone, you would’ve walked into a hostile negotiation with lawyers waiting to twist your words into a PR mess for the firm.”
You exhale. “Nice.”
“Classic Daniel,” Harvey mutters, jaw tight. “Make someone else bleed, keep his hands clean.”
He walks over and rests the file on your desk — the same one from earlier, now with a sticky note: Closed. Don’t touch it again.
“Handled?” you ask.
“For now.” His gaze lingers on you. “You were right to call me.”
You offer a small smile. “I trust you. Not him.”
Something shifts in his eyes — something warm, unreadable, almost vulnerable, if you didn’t know better.
“I’m not used to associates checking in before taking orders,” he says quietly. “Most of them are trying to prove they can fly solo.”
You glance at your hands. “I’m not trying to prove anything. I just want to win the right way. Your way.”
His lips twitch like he’s trying not to smile. “You have no idea how rare that is.”
He turns to leave — but pauses at the door.
“You hungry?”
You blink. “Are you… asking me to dinner?”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m asking if you want to eat something other than vending machine pretzels while reviewing merger documents. There’s Thai in the conference room. Donna made me order enough for three people. Don’t ask.”
You hesitate — then rise, pushing your glasses onto your head. “Only if you’re letting me steal the egg rolls.”
“Only if you pretend not to judge me for dipping them in soy sauce and hot mustard.”
You follow him down the hall, the silence between you comfortable — the kind of quiet that only comes from mutual respect. The kind of loyalty that doesn’t need big declarations.
He doesn’t say it, but you can feel it in the way he walks half a step behind you when you round the corner.
Harvey Specter protects what’s his.
And tonight, you feel it — not just in your spine, but somewhere warmer, deeper.
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forsaken-headcanons ¡ 2 months ago
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More Two Time ehehefd💥🚗
[Body horror and Blood tw!!]
Sorry for adding to the mass, but my evil little brain keeps cooking
They have those little head wings but they're not feathery, they're more like the wings they get in their second life (but they have the head ones all the time :3)
Two time has scars on their back where their wings emerge, this is because of how they go into it repeatedly due to rounds
When they grow their wings they get a spawn shape scarred onto their skin around the base, this goes away once their second life is over. It hurts tho.
We know placing your ritual/spawn point far away or in a corner is a strategy two time players can use and we ALSO know that going into their second life is painful.
sooo, imagine two time places their ritual in those spots for strategy (duh), but also because they often let out the worst scream known to man, sometimes it can be heard throughout the whole map, it's bad vro. It also alerts the killer of their presence
For Two time it feels like they're getting stabbed repeatedly *glances decretely at Azure* but all is swell because the spawns blessing or whatever.
Thats also why anyone, killer included, do NOT want to be there when they respawn. Theyll just see them hunched over and hear the worst bone crunch known to man as they get their wings, not to mention the blood.
Since two time is a bit insane, I'd say theyed be screaming out of pain but also laughing. "*deranged giggling* The spawn has blessed me once again!" Queue Jason, mid gashing wound staring at them in horror.
uhh I think I was gonna add more but I forgot
Also all the survivors are Hella confused with how two time works because like, obviously their stuff about the spawn is crazy yet they get a second life, spawn related features that are apart of their body, the second life thing could be the specter messing with things but idk, up to interpretation.
-Crazed ramblings of car crash anon
no need to apologize! the evil mass must be satiated with more members... /silly
GOOD GOD TWO TIME. JUST?? GOOD GOD VRO 💔💔 POSITIVELY tragic. dude. imagine the kidds hearing that for the first time. like?? how to give them their first doses of trauma 101 ahh 💔c00lkidd would be the first one affected and only pr3ty would believe him wethinks. bluudud?? NAH that mf would TAKE his CHANCES (< he then gets teleported back to the killer cabin and promptly has to sit in his room in absolute silence)
ALSO WAIT YOU JUST GAVE US A THOUGHT?? ABOUT THE UH UH TWO TIME RESPAWNING FEELING LIKE STABBING. what if the start of the second life is essentially a continuation of where the previous owner "left off," which is why there's truly pain in the first place. if the previous owner died by getting choked to death for example, the current one—upon starting their second life—would start off feeling like they were being choked. type shit. call that a
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(we. are so sorry. for this stupid image we lowquality-made)
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