#Spam Gloom

[korroshiame]

So you want to clear a Mirror Dungeon: A Limbus Company Mirror Dungeon guide

Are you a manager stuck doing Mirror Dungeons? Do you sometimes wonder “Wow, I got an EGO Gift, but is it appropriate for this run?” Do you need to clear a Mirror Dungeon under an hour on Hard? Are you starting out, wondering why there’s so many shiny stars on the menu?

Then you come to the right place. In this guide, I will, well, give some guidelines I followed throughout my year long career as Limbus Company executive manager, and hopefully it will ease you in better than I had to figure out on my own.

Index:

Preparation

General Guidelines

Tips and Tricks

Preparation:

- Check your team and dungeon difficulty. Unless you’re a masochist or really experienced, it isn’t a good idea to tackle a hard mirror dungeon with underleveled sinners. Do the easy dungeon to get used to how it plays and see which teams and strategies work.

- What is your team’s status effect? As of now (Canto VII), the gameplay revolves around less of your team levels but around the status effects, with some fusion gifts explicitly rewarding you for building teams around them. Build a dedicated team for the EGO fusion gifts if you can.

- Save up as much starlight as possible and get those EGO Gifts dirt cheap. You will need those EGO Gifts to compensate for the high levels and enemy buffs.

- Please, please make sure you equip the proper ID and EGOs. You do not want to spend Cost on any unnecessary adjustments for your sinners once inside, so make sure you chose the right ones early.

- Did you know you can dedicate a team for Mirror Dungeon on the sinners menu and give it the name? Saves you a lot of time adjusting EGOs.

- The sin generation on the side? It will help in knowing how much you can spam EGOs. Very important for later floors, so make sure to have a team that has all the sins covered.

General Guidelines:

- First floor, EGO resources generation and SP max. Since this is still manageable, your weaker IDs can still clash here. So let them run wild on the first floor, build up their SP and gain EGO resources.

- Second to third floor, switch to main team with high clashing power and damage output.

- Fourth to Fifth floor, you should have an EGO Fusion Gift or at least its parts. At this point, you are roughly equal with the enemy, even with the enemy buffs. If not, you should have a ton of EGO gifts that gives you an edge + EGOs by now at least. Pro Tip: EGO Spam away here and enjoy the subtle animations of your favorite sinners as your mirror dungeon becomes an EGO animation showcase.

- Ensure your whole team is at max SP at all times. You will need it to pass EGO Gifts and Boss checks.

- If your enemy is staggered and you can secure a victory, instead of going all out with S3, use the other two skills instead to generate EGO resources and save the S3 for later waves/boss phases.

- Coffee and Cranes + Zippo Lighter breaks the dungeon difficulty in half, especially with strong EGOs equipped.

- Tackle Focus and Difficult battle nodes as much as you reasonably can. The former gives you more control over attacks, and both give you much needed EGO gifts.

- Take paths with branching paths as much as possible on hard, it will give you breathing room and lets you tackle stages at your own pace.

- Question nodes are double edged swords. You could gain EGO Gifts and avoid difficult battles, but you could also be trapped in harmful events, lose out on potential cost and even be railroaded into difficult battles. Pick wisely.

- If you gain an EGO gift that doesn’t work well in your current team (e.g Burn on Sinking Team), sell it ASAP. Note this can depend on how it activates. For example, if you have Everlasting Faust on her non-tremor IDs and Melted Eyeball, it might be worth keeping anyway because of how good it is.

- Related to above, Cost-increasing/Cost-giving gifts should be sold off completely in the shop of the last floor. You will need the cost you sold to buy better gifts/upgrades.

- On later floors (especially on Hard), your sinner’s teammates will gain SP if they land the defeating blow. This is very useful for late floor battles so you don’t need to spend an EGO to recover SP, not so much if you run N Sinclair or Suncliff.

- Favored/Dominating? Go for it. Neutral? Risk, use EGO, or defend. Hopeless? EGO, defend, or redirect the attack to a tank.

- If you don’t like the dungeon pack selection or their gifts, you can refresh it. May not guarantee better dungeons or gifts, though…

Tips and Tricks:

-Sinking is usually a safe bet for most runs. The only time it doesn’t work well is in human battles, and that’s because you can’t deal gloom damage past -45 without Sinking Deluge and is basically a cheese strategy anyways.

- For the Enkephalin-Box Abno, you can actually fail the check on purpose to gain its charge access card EGO Gift for zero SP cost. I have 20 cards this way.

- Poise is always welcome to any team. It’s basically free extra damage. It’s very powerful when you can stagger enemies and it triggers.

- Rupture is also basically free damage, and is best for enemy buffs that raise their defense stats to very damn high/enemies with ridiculous resistance stats + low stagger.

- Bleed is high risk, high reward. While it’s peak comedy to watch enemies explode to gore, you risk having to actually land the bleed and then let your enemies bleed out. Without certain EGO Gifts, it could spell the end of a run if you aren’t careful. Still hilarious, though.

- Know when to call a loss a loss. If you can’t beat a boss because your IDs are not well suited/no EGO resources, it’s okay to end the run early. If you made it to the 4/5th floor, pay yourself on the back for a good job well done and beat it next week.

- Pick enemy buff options that make them tanky, but not lethal as well. Better to win a war of attrition than to be outclashed often and unable to land a hit at all.

- Offset counters by using defense skills. While the counter can still be triggered by other attacks, you can use a defense skill so you can ‘skip’ attacking. Please note this will not work with enemies with multiple skill slots, so refer to the following tip below.

- Dogpiling attacks (all skills on one skill icon) to ensure a stagger is recommended when there’s too many skills to clash/skill power is absolutely ridiculous. You will appreciate this tip in Canto V, you will need it.

- Defense Skills exist. Use them. In some cases, it’s just better to take a hit because not even an EGO can save you. Some attacks aren’t even that dangerous when you have a defense skill active. Remember, just because your sinner got staggered doesn’t mean they’re done. If they have at least 1+ HP, you still have a chance to heal back.

- Related to team composition, you don’t need to have the team at full starlight bonus, especially if you need an ID that has certain status effects. Prioritize team synergy over starlight gathering, unless you’re still building the constellation up.

- Don’t forget, there’s no shame in playing on the easy difficulty. It’s not the most time efficient in short bursts like hard, but it’s the best dungeon to explore new kits, gifts and strategies without pressure.

Well then, class dismissed and happy mirror dungeon time!

[dewedup]

low-quality ritual pictures that absolutely no one asked for

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3

[toskarin]

anyway, my take on the battle my anons are currently having about warframe? garuda tank build sweeps, boss

[snekthedemonnoodle]

🎶✨when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish.🎶✨

uhhhhhhh idk guys i like music

time machine by autoheart

grapevine fires by death cab for cutie

spkothdvl by idkhow

always always by royel otis

overcompensate by twenty one pilots

[le-velo-pour-dru]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN'T REBLOG THE AROACE FLAG COLORPICKED FROM THE GLOOM DIVISION COVER POST CAUSE OP HAS ME BLOCKED

[vulpine111]

[s1eepers]

Can you write something about Louis Tomlinson catching a cold and the reader taking care of him? Maybe he doesn’t want to cancel a meet and greet but he ends up having to do so and he feels bad about it. 

I love you. This is such a cute and sad and fun story idea! Thank you so much for the request, I really hope that you enjoy this story! And if you do please feel free to send in more requests! I love spams lol 😂.

Caring for Louis

The rain drummed steadily against the window, a rhythmic backdrop to the deepening gloom of the room. Inside, Louis sat huddled under a blanket on the couch, the glow from the TV flickering shadows across his tired face. You could see the signs of discomfort: the red rim around his eyes and the way he sniffled every few moments.

“Lou, you really need to rest,” you said gently, approaching him with a mug of steaming herbal tea. The warm steam rose, carrying a soothing aroma of chamomile and honey.

He took the mug with a grateful smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I know, but I can’t shake this cold. I should be preparing for the meet and greet tomorrow. The fans are counting on me.”

You sat beside him, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “They’ll understand, Lou. You can’t give it your all if you’re sick. It’s better to take care of yourself than to risk making it worse.”

His brow furrowed, frustration seeping through his illness.

“But I hate disappointing them. They’ve been waiting for this, and I just… feel awful about cancelling.”

You squeezed his hand gently.

“It’s not your fault. Your health comes first, and true fans want you to be at your best. They wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

Louis sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“You’re right, I just… I wish I could be out there, making them happy.”

“You will be again,” you assured him. “This is just a temporary setback. Let’s focus on getting you better first. You need lots of rest, and I’m here to help with that.”

With a reluctant nod, he sank back into the cushions, pulling the blanket tighter around him. You could see the weight of his disappointment, but you also knew that with a little care, he’d bounce back.

As the night stretched on, you made sure to keep him comfortable. You prepared bowls of warm soup, snuggled under the blanket with him as you watched his favorite shows, and occasionally checked his temperature to ensure he wasn’t getting worse.

“Y’know,” he croaked after a while, looking over at you, “it’s nights like these that remind me how lucky I am to have you.”

You chuckled softly, offering him a playful nudge. “Just wait until I start making chicken soup from scratch. Then you’ll realize your luck might be running out!”

Louis laughed, though it quickly devolved into a coughing fit, making you frown in concern. You reached for the tissues nearby, handing them to him with tender care.

“See? Rest, soup, and some cuddle time is all you need.”

“You’re really too good to me,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“And you deserve it. Just promise me that if you’re feeling worse tomorrow, you’ll let me handle calling off the meet and greet,” you said seriously, wanting nothing more than for him to prioritize his health.

“I promise,” he replied, though doubt laced his words. You could see his internal struggle, caught between his desire to please his fans and the likes of resting his weary body.

As the evening wore on, you started to notice him dozing off more frequently. It warmed your heart seeing him finally relax, lulled by the comfort of your presence. Deciding to seize the moment, you tucked another blanket around him and switched on a calming playlist. The room was quiet, save for the gentle music and the patter of rain against the window.

When Louis stirred slightly, you leaned closer, feeling the warmth radiating from him. He opened his eyes and gave you a sleepy smile.

“What would I do without you?”

“You’d probably be eating terrible takeout and suffering on that couch alone,” you joked, running your fingers through his hair.

“Not a pretty picture,” he admitted, closing his eyes again. “I really do appreciate you, you know. I just feel so guilty about the fans. They deserve my best.”

“And tomorrow you’ll give them that best, but for now, you need to heal. Just think of how happy you’ll make them when you’re back to your normal self,” you encouraged, hoping to lift his spirits.

He nodded slowly, though the worry still lingered in his eyes.

“You've always got such a positive outlook.”

“Because I believe in you, Louis. And I believe your fans will understand,” you said softly.

Eventually, the combination of warmth, your comforting presence, and soothing music lulled him into a deeper sleep. You remained by his side, ready to care for him as he weathered this storm.

In your heart, you knew this was just a moment in time—one where Louis needed your love and care. Tomorrow, he would feel better, and soon enough, those bright, grateful smiles from his fans would make everything worth it. Together, you would face it all, one day at a time.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Weird stories from the "da hell are they doing over there" category : there's a guy over at r/grimdank who got told by a large number of people in a clear fashion that "fetish-depiction of sexual assault or the implication thereof is bad and we don't want to see that here" and then reacted to that by spamming a dozen posts about how "this is grimdark you pussies" as if sexual violence ever had any sort load-bearing capacity to the dread and gloom of the setting and acting like this was some sort of rightous crusade.

Let's me rephrase that: a guy is throwing a tantrum because he wants more sexual assault in his 40k content. Does not realize why people find that disgusting and why he keeps getting downvoted and just keeps going. Luckily the general reaction to this is people telling him to fuck off.

Definetly not beating the "socially inept" allegations holy shit. How little social intelligence does one need to have to step into a public space, take out a megaphone, and demand stuff like that?

[yoomiwrites]

Sugar Rush³

Note: This will be the last part for today. I mean, all I'm doing is to upload em here, but I don't wanna spam lol. Btw. I always had a Fanart for each chapter back then, which I won't use now since I don't know the artist and wouldn't be able to give them their credit.

The night sky was a blanket of inky blackness, shrouded in clouds and thick fog. The stars, the moon, even the distant houses were swallowed by the gloom. I was utterly exhausted. The last few days had been a whirlwind—clashing with the admirals, and of course, facing Akainu’s ever-present doubts about me. My body felt heavy as I trudged through the hallways, moving slower than a walk, barely dragging myself forward to deliver the final report of the day to Kizaru.

I knocked softly on the thick, wooden door, and from inside, a quiet, familiar voice called out, "Hmn, come in."

Opening the door carefully, I stepped inside, bowing briefly as I prepared to speak. But my words caught in my throat the moment I looked up. The sight before me was... unexpected, to say the least.

Kizaru sat casually on the sofa, his eyes lifting from the book in his hands as a sly smile curled his lips. But it wasn’t just him. Aokiji was sprawled across his left thigh, sound asleep, and Akainu rested on his right shoulder, equally lost in dreams.

"Psssh, (L/N)-san~," Kizaru whispered, snapping me out of my half-frozen shock. He gently closed the book, placing a finger to his lips in a gesture for silence. With the same finger, he pointed toward his desk, signaling where I should leave the documents.

Nodding, I moved quietly across the room, stifling a yawn as I laid the papers down with care. My only thought was to get out of this bizarre situation as quickly as possible. However, Kizaru had other plans.

Before I could make my escape, he wrapped an arm around my waist and effortlessly pulled me onto his free leg. A surprised gasp escaped me, though I quickly bit it back as Akainu stirred with a low grumble. The last thing I wanted was to wake him.

"What are you doing, Admiral Kizaru-san?" I whispered, trying to wriggle free from his grip.

"Don’t resist, (L/N). You’re tired. Let’s sleep," he murmured softly, his voice almost a lullaby. He rested his head on my shoulder, peering at my now undoubtedly bright red face with a grin of pure amusement.

"I would like to sleep," I replied in a harsh whisper, "but in my own room. In my own bed."

"But why?" he asked, his tone teasing as ever. "Look at them, aren’t they cute~?"

I glanced hesitantly at Aokiji, whose hair was, as always, ridiculously tempting to touch. After a moment’s pause, I reached out and gently ran my fingers through his hair. It was as soft as it looked. He grumbled contentedly in his sleep, and I quickly withdrew my hand, unsure of how to react.

"See? So sweet, hn~" Kizaru’s voice was a soft hum, clearly relishing the situation. I couldn’t help but smile, realizing he was mocking my earlier words from the start of the week—when I had, quite foolishly, referred to the admirals as “sweet as sugar.” He hadn’t forgotten, of course.

My eyes wandered over to Akainu. His usual intensity was nowhere to be seen. He looked completely peaceful, and despite myself, I reached out and gave his nose a little poke with my finger. In any other moment, this would have been unthinkable, but here I was, sitting among sleeping titans.

It wasn’t long before the sheer absurdity of it all hit me again, and I turned my gaze to Kizaru, who, unlike the others, was still very much awake.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice barely more than a tired whisper. Despite my growing discomfort, it was hard not to admit that the warmth of his body against mine was becoming... oddly comforting.

He looked at me with that familiar lazy smile. "You’re part of our family now, (F/N). Go to sleep."

Three hours passed. Three long hours of sitting there, surrounded by these powerful men, all of them peacefully asleep while I remained wide awake, unable to relax. Sleepless and plotting my escape.

But as I shifted, a single thought crossed my mind, one I would’ve never imagined needing to think: Oh, Kizaru... next time, please let me go to the bathroom first.

[moonyasnow]

Their contacts + names

(+ what I like to imagine their contacts have THEM saved as in their phone)

I guess also my HCs for how the canon characters would save contact names? For example, Jade calling people the kind of mushroom they remind him of, Idia making game/anime/manga references, Lilia using memes

Tomoe

私のつんでれ (This is Leona) (=watashi no tsundere = my tsundere) [ he has her saved as 'Herbivore'. He calls multiple people 'herbivore' but she's the only one who gets it capitalized ] エース (This is Ace) (=eesu) [ he has her saved as 'mom #2' — he's joking ] デュース (This is Deuce) (=duusu) [ he has her saved as 'Tomoeh' ] イリナ (This is Irina) (=irina) Housewardens (This is a group chat containing Tomoe + the other 7 Housewardens) Headmage Crowley (He doesn't get his name written in katakana bc she does not like him and only people she likes get that) [ he doesn't have her saved as a contact— it just shows the phone number. So sometimes he thinks her messages are spam ]

Irina

Tomoe&Grim 💚 (this is Malleus) [ He didn't originally have her saved bc he did not know how to do that. But he'd memorized her phone number so he always knew it was her. But Lilia did eventually go through his contacts and save all of them, giving them names and pictures too. So now she's 'future 💍'. No Malleus does not understand the implications. He thinks it's strange Lilia named her 'future ring' but won't question it too much ] Ruggie [ he has her saved as 'jumpy' ] Jamil [ he has her saved as 'Irina' ]

Spike

oscar🪦🕯️ (He can't bear to get rid of his friend's number) gran🪦💐 (Same as with Oscar) mom ex? (This is his 'dad'— that is to say, the person who fathered him. He's not really his dad though, so he wrote this instead. And Spike has no idea if he and his mom were TOGETHER when she got pregnant or not, hence the question mark) nei<3<3 (This is Neige) [ he has him saved as '❤️My Sweet Prince' ] leonboss (This is Leona. He couldn't decide between 'Leona' and 'boss') [ he has him saved as 'Spike'. One of the few to get his name capitalized ] lil man (This is Ruggie) [ he has him saved as 'big man' ] club jam (This is Jamil. His phone is super old and limits him to 8 characters per first name. And if he tried to write 'Jamil' as the surname he'd just show up as 'Club' and then he'd have 3 different 'Club') [ he has him saved as 'nuisance #3', Floyd and Ace being nuisance #1 and #2 respectively. He orders it based on how much trouble they cause him ] club flo (This is Floyd) [ he has him saved as 'sharky' ] club ace [ he has him saved as 'GIANT‼️' ] guy (This is the mysterious man who saved his life. The number was just in his phone when he woke up in the hospital. Seeing it gives him anxiety)

+bonus for @thehollowwriter (Quinn)

nemis (This is Blaze. His hair reminded Spike of a movie he saw of a surgeonfish mother looking for her daughter (basically TWST's version of Finding Nemo???)) [ he has him saved as 'Scary Dude (Spike)' ] finny (This is Finn) [ he has him saved as 'Spike' ]

Junia

She never texts Literally can't She calls or sends sound clips 🐙🧮 (This is Azul) [ he has her saved as 'J. Rondo' ] 🍄☕️ (This is Jade) [ he has her saved as 'Gliophorus Psittacinus' ] 🏀👞 (This is Floyd) [ he has her saved as 'junia' ] 🩷☘️ (This is Trey) [ he has her saved as 'Cupcake🧁' ] ☀️🎉 (This is Kalim) [ he has her saved as 'junia!!🌹🎹🎵🎶' ] 🦇🎀 (This is Lilia) [ he has her saved as 'Flower girl' ] 🔶📱 (This is Cater) [ he has her saved as 'Junie-pie🌷' ] ⭐️💎 (This is Lisle)

+bonus for Quinn again, but also for @screamintoad (Crow)

🎷🦈 (This is Finn) [ he has her saved as 'Junia' ] 🐠🍃 (This is Agate) [ she has her saved as 'Rainbow' ]

Lisle

Mom Dad ⭐️Cay-Cay [ he has him saved as 'Lisssssss' ] The Boss (This is Azul) [ he has him saved as 'Suckup' ] The Secretary (This is Jade) [ he has him saved as 'Coprinus Comatus' ] The Muscle (This is Floyd) [ he has him saved as 'blobfish' ] The Singer (This is Junia) 🌙Gloom Cloud (This is Idia) [ he has him saved as 'Fairy God-diva' ] Kalim [ was originally just 'Lisle' but Jamil changed it to '⚠️' ]

+bonus for Quinn and Crow again

The Bartender (This is Finn) [ he has him saved as 'Lisle' ]

The Bouncer (This is Agate) [ she has him saved as 'Shady' ]

Veronica

Vic (This is Victor) Vil [ he has her saved as 'Sweet-Potato Flower'. Sweet potato to indicate he likes her more than 'other potatoes', and flower to indicate he thinks her fashion, makeup, etc, are better than most ] Stalker man (This is Rook) [ he has her saved as 'Chevalier🗡️🐦‍🔥' ] Apple boy (This is Epel) [ he has her saved as 'Apricot kid?'. He didn't know what to write since she's not 'apricot girl'(classic country boy being a lil confused at first by people not in the gender binary). So he wrote kid ] Muse (This is Cater) [ he has her saved as 'babe💖(/p(🥲))' ] Robo-kid (This is Ortho) (They're in the same club) [ he has her saved as 'Dragomir, Veronica' ] Idiot Eel (This is Floyd) (They're in the same class) [ he has her saved as 'pufferfish' ] Smug Eel (This is Jade) [ he has her saved as 'Amanita Muscaria' ]

Victor

💖🐺💞✨💗wolfie💕💫💘💓🌵 (This is Jack) [ he has him saved as 'V💙' ] Vera (This is Veronica) Iddy mouse 🐭 (This is Idia) [ he has him saved as 'ゴゴゴ manifested' ] Orthie (This is Ortho) [ he has him saved as 'Dragomir, Victor' ] Club #2 (This is Trey) (There used to be a 'Club #1' (Rook) but Victor eventually blocked him out of sheer spite(like that'd stop Rook)) [ he has him saved as 'Beware' ] Kindred spirit (This is Jade) [ he has him saved as 'Amanita Phallodies' ] Delete-when-18 (This is his guardian Mina)

Artemisia

Mother ICE* Lilia Vanrouge [ he has her saved as 'Adoption Papers When?' ] Silver Vanrouge [ he has her saved as 'Artemisia' ] Sebek Zigvolt [ he has her saved as 'ARTEMISIA' ] Malleus Draconia [ just had her number for a long time, until Lilia saved her for him, as 'Sister From Another Mister' ] Jamil Viper (☆) [ he has her saved as '🌙قمر' ] [ = qamar🌙 = moon🌙 ] Idia Shroud [ he has her saved as 'Princess Serenity' ] Azul Ashengrotto (They're in the same club) [ he has her saved as 'A. SILKMIRE👀' ]

(*ICE means 'In Case of Emergency'. So if Artemisia ever gets into an accident or needs medical help, if they look through her phone, they'd know to call Lilia first)

Tag list:

@another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade

@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad

PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED IN FUTURE STUFF!

[pissmoon]

can someone make a dbeatrawpunk version of the /mu/ copypasta so it makes spamming annoying stuff in punk related tags easier & promotes good music?

My attempt would be:

G.i.sm., rattus, the stalin, icons of filth, kaaos, riistetyt, confuse, svart parad, disclose, zouo, anti-cimex, mob 47, asocial, avskum, disfear, meanwhile, totalitär, doom, nausea, crass, shitlickers, discharge, homomilitia, infekcja, bomba w torcie, electro hippies, crude SS, chaos uk, gauze, subhumans, heresy, amebix, disorder, varukers, concrete sox, crucifix, sacrilege, extreme noise terror, napalm raid, sore throat, deviated instinct, ratos de porao, aus-rotten, antischism, los crudos, besthöven, skitsystem, framtid, zyanose, dishammer, antisect, bombanfall, hiatus, gloom, moderat likvidation, guernica y luno, 3-way cum, smar sw, sanctus iuda, black krondstadt, masskontroll, filth of mankind and diskonto

Here are some patches your 'crust pants' are missing!

[sirowsky-stories]

The Flowers Always Know

Chapter 1 - Welcome Home

Description: As you came home from your vacation in Europe, you knew something was wrong. Hoping it was merely jet-lag, you tried to ignore it, but that was a mistake.

**Beware! Author chooses NOT to display warnings on the individual chapters of this story. Read at your own risk!**

Author's Note: This was my third ever series, and I've learned so much as a writer since then that I wanted to take another stab at it and make these characters richer and the writing easier to follow. The original posts seem to be trapped in the past, however, so if I want to use the updated editor I have to re-post them, which means there might be a minor Marcus Moreno spam on this account for a while. Sorry about that in advance. (Not that one could ever have too much MM...)

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Word Count: 811 (133 words added) Masterlist (this story)

   Somewhere in Egypt, a woman sits strapped to a chair. She’s clearly been tortured and is bleeding from her nose, ears and a multitude of cuts and abrasions. She’s connected to several machines by tubes as well as wires, and a dark figure moves through the shadows around her, waiting and hoping that his experiment will succeed this time.

-=¤=-

   The sun seemed brighter than usual when you stepped out of the airport.    Normally, you loved basking in the sun, feeling that heat going all the way into your bones and seeming to soften you from the inside out. But right then, it felt so bright it was blinding. Almost as though you could feel the rays burn your skin in mere seconds, even though you knew they weren’t.

   You wanted to get away from it as quickly as possible, so you ducked into a cab, stealing it from what looked like a banker, who was just about to get in when you all but wrestled past him through the door.    You didn’t even bother apologizing as you closed it in his enraged face with a loud bang, and sank into the mercifully dimmed backseat as you gave the address of your home to the driver.

   God, what was wrong with you? When had you ever stolen anything from anyone? You let people ahead of you in the que at the grocery store, for fuck’s sake.

   Once home, you dashed inside and hurried around the house to close all the blinds and curtains. You’d never done that before, not since buying the place six years earlier, so little puffs of dust were disturbed as you roughly yanked at the fabrics, making you cough.    You had changed the curtains, of course, but you weren’t the most prolific duster of a person, so the curtain-rods had never been cleaned despite the swaps of fabrics.

   Not that you cared about the dust now either. You were more concerned with why the daylight was suddenly bothering you so much, since you weren’t a damned vampire.    With the entire house plunged into a wearisome gloom you stepped into your bathroom intending to take a shower, hoping that washing the hours of travel off your skin might make you feel less sensitive somehow.    But you stopped on the threshold, suddenly worried that even the bright light of the bathroom ceiling lamp was gonna hurt you.

   “Stop it, girl. Light doesn’t hurt you,” you admonished yourself, and then flipped the switch.

   You were relieved when the artificial light didn’t seem to bother you at all, but then you caught your reflection in the large mirror above the sink, and flinched when you almost didn’t recognize yourself.    You were pale. And not just pale but slightly grey as well, to the extent that your veins were visible through your skin. The whites of your eyes were bloodshot, and your irises seemed to be the wrong colour, turned deeper and darker than they should be.    Even your hair looked completely lifeless, and somehow, the roots had turned grey.

   Suddenly you understood why the light was bothering you so much, as you seemingly had no pigmentation left to protect you from it. But how did that even happen? And especially considering that you’d been alright less than twenty-four hours ago.    Something had happened to you in Egypt, you knew that much. But unfortunately, you had no recollection of it, and therefor couldn’t guess at the severity of it.

   You’d just woken up in a hospital the day before you were meant to leave, and the doctors had told you how you’d most likely suffered heat-stroke, since they hadn’t been able to find anything wrong with you.    You had found it strange that you seemed to be missing two whole days of time, but since the doctors had given you a clean bill of health, you’d decided not to worry about it. And yesterday, when you’d left for the airport, you’d felt fine.

   This was not fine. You were not fine. You needed to go to the hospital.    But the thought of going outside again while the sun was still up felt so distressing to you, that you decided to wait. You’d have your shower and then try and eat something while you waited for it to get dark.    But you did make a stern promise to yourself to call an ambulance if it got any worse.

   It was strange how you could look so abhorrently ill, and yet not feel all that bad. You were tired, sure, and your appetite could have been better, but you didn’t feel anything close to as bad as you looked.    Although, if you’d had any idea of just how bad things were about to get, you’d have slapped yourself silly, and gotten your scrawny fucking ass to the hospital the moment you saw your reflection.

[justforbooks]

Nicholas Shakespeare’s elegant biography of the James Bond author Ian Fleming takes its subtitle from a journalist’s observation, quoted halfway through, that its subject was “for a moment of time, a complete man” while working for British naval intelligence in the second world war. Yet you can’t help read it as a promise to give the reader what was left out of previous biographies such as John Pearson’s crisp, more portable authorised life from 1966. And is there a claim, too, for the alpha male credentials of the man called “Flemingway” by his friend Noël Coward? Journalist, stockbroker, thriller writer and – like his famous creation – a playboy and 70-a-day smoker, who died of a heart attack in 1964 at the age of 56 after a plagiarism row over the origins of Thunderball, the ninth Bond novel.

After a dutiful account of how Fleming’s Scottish financier grandfather became a millionaire – later cutting Fleming and his brothers out of his will – Shakespeare gets going with his subject’s troubled boyhood in the shadow of his father’s death in the first world war. Family friends in Switzerland take his education in hand after hasty exits from Eton (hanky-panky with a woman) and Sandhurst (gonorrhoea). His exams aren’t good enough for the Foreign Office; an engagement to a Swiss lover ends amid maternal threats to cut off his allowance. He falls on his feet at Reuters – it was that kind of life – further honing his knack for a scoop at the Sunday Times, a handy source of contacts for his war work.

Testimony woven from diaries, papers and interviews gives the book a flavour of oral history. Shakespeare goes to great lengths – not least tracking down a 94-year-old veteran, the last surviving member of a covert commando unit that Fleming organised – to dispel the idea that Fleming’s service, occluded by state-sanctioned secrecy, was just “in-trays, out-trays and ashtrays”. The book’s first half puts the future author at the heart of military and journalistic history – a search for German weapons of mass destruction; the race to get an inside scoop on the Cambridge spies – as well as the bedroom shenanigans of the English well-to-do. (Shakespeare, who encourages us at one point to smile at the mention of a “germanely” named Nazi admiral, Assmann, shows his assumptions of his audience when he writes confidently of “that small, turn-of-the-century intellectual clique, the Souls”.)

Fleming may be “the man behind James Bond”, in the subtitle of Andrew Lycett’s 1995 biography, but Shakespeare’s project, you sense, is partly to say there’s more to him. Eager to prove Fleming’s interest beyond the reasons that will draw most of his readers to the book, he is almost comically insistent on the degree to which his subject was ahead of the curve. Not only might he have sparked the idea of creating the CIA – in a memo written when the US-UK special relationship was being forged – but he also came up with the idea of putting a Christmas tree from Oslo in Trafalgar Square.

As for the dozen Bond novels that poured out of Fleming after 1953’s Casino Royale – written in a month in his winter bolthole in Jamaica a year earlier – they were, in Shakespeare’s telling, essentially the literary expression of a midlife crisis accelerated by the encroachments of fatherhood and a faithless union as the third husband of Ann Charteris. They had got together with an affair that caused a high-society scandal during her previous marriage to the Daily Mail heir Esmond Harmsworth; she later cheated on Fleming with the Labour leader Hugh Gaitskell, who told him that the “sex, violence, alcohol” formula of the Bond novels was “to one who leads such a circumscribed life as I do, irresistible”.

Fleming, injecting the American dirt of Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer novels into the English thriller, launched 007 on what Shakespeare calls the “spam-munching gloom of Attlee’s Britain”, writing (Fleming told his publisher) in order to make “as much money... as possible” and to have “as much fun as I personally can”. Respectable sales rocketed when JFK took a shine to From Russia, with Love – and the movies were yet to come. While Fleming was self-deprecating – telling Raymond Chandler the Bond novels were “straight pillow fantasies of the bang-bang, kiss-kiss variety” – he was proud enough to greet the director of the first Bond movie, Dr No, by telling him: “So they’ve decided on you to fuck up my work.”

“Luck had to be accepted with a shrug or taken advantage of up to the hilt,” Bond thinks in Casino Royale; he sees luck “as a woman, to be softly wooed or brutally ravaged, never pandered to or pursued”. Squint enough and Fleming took some care to cast his main character in ironic light. Early in that novel, the reader gets a fly-on-the-wall thrill of watching fieldwork in action, with the scene of theatrical care Bond takes to ensure his hotel room isn’t being searched; but soon enough his French sidekick turns up to let Bond know his upstairs neighbours have been listening in to his every move.

In Shakespeare’s biography, the novels are mostly a source of supporting quotation – he doesn’t get bogged down in questions of what it means to read Bond now, confining himself to a remark on how his “cavalier treatment of women... carried the sexual climate of the Blitz into the austerity of the cold war, and was less modern perhaps than it was later cracked up to be”. And perhaps there’s no need for his defenders to overstate the case for Fleming’s novelistic subtlety. Bond has always been shaped by a collective amnesia that allows us to make him what we wish him to be at any given moment; when he parachuted into the Olympic opening ceremony with the queen, it was as the best of British, not as a connoisseur of (Fleming’s words) “the sweet tang of rape”.

The novels, in a way, are irrelevant to 007, but the course of history would surely have run otherwise had Fleming not had the foresight to change his protagonist’s name from the original “James Secretan” – Fleming’s typescript revision perhaps his most significant literary act.

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[thewatercolours]

4, 5, 8, 10!

4. What is your favourite line you wrote this year?

OK, I am collaring my overthinker brain right now and telling it, "This question is not meant literally. You do not have to comb through everything you wrote this year and do a March Madness bracket." So, I'm going to follow my heart toward a particular fic I feel warmly toward, and pick something from that one:

Hector took a long pull on his own drink, and settled back in his easy chair expansively. He smiled tipsily and wagged a smug finger. “That you’ve got to take the lad in hand at once, for all our sakes. Show him just where he stands.”

Number One stiffened. He set his beer down on the bookshelf, and fixed Hector with a level gaze.”You’re saying I should assert authority over him. Over the king of the land.”

Hector stifled a yawn and waved his hand abstractly. “I’m only saying he needs a little growing up. Nobody’s in a better position than you to make a proper man out of -”

“The Twelfth Edict of Daventry,” said Number One coolly, his stare unwavering. “The Treachery Act. In the case of usurpation of the ruler’s right of authority by action, compass, plan, or suggestion , treason is understood to -”

“Oh, bah!” Hector put aside his tankard as well. His smile stretched wider. But he tugged nervously at the cuffs of his housecoat.“Who’s talking treason?”

“You are.”

Is it my all time favourite? Probably not. But it was really fun to set Graham up to overhear the worst part of the conversation, believing Number One agrees with Hector, and then continue the scene from Number One's point of view after Graham's left, and verbally kick Hector to the curb.

5. What is your favourite book/story/poem you read this year?

Here's a dark, dark secret from a teacher - '24 was not an amazing year for reading for me. I actually did read a fair number of books - but I had problems finishing. Still better than the Gloom Years and their aftermath where not a lot of reading happened at all, though! And I did have some really good reads. Not sure I could pick a favourite, so I will tell you a handful of books I read this year that sparked minor obsessions (which is not quite the same thing, but it makes narrowing down easier.) In which case, I would mention:

"Beowulf" (Did a unit on it with my students and went a bit crazy over it myself. I've never loved it as much as I did this past spring. I kept watching that video of the guy who performs the whole first half of it in Anglo-Saxon with a harp, over and over...)

P. G. Wodehouse's Tales of St. Austin's (gave me this whole idea for an epistolary novella and had me reading and revisiting all the other school stories)

"The Blackberry Bushes" (original fiction by a mutual. I latched on to the characters, and I'm sorry for everyone who follows my Siena-Sevenwits blog, because there were at least a few days where half of it was Blackberry Bushes spam. I'm not quite out of the woods on this obsession yet.)

8. What are three things you're looking forward to next year?

I am going to follow your lead and answer once about writing, once about general creativity, and once about life in general:

On the KQ front, I'm hoping to get back into the rhythm of Path of Kingship and finish it! And write lots of little standalone scenes when the whim takes me. I'm also excited about maybe writing and sharing more original fiction - we'll see!

In terms of general creativity, there's so much I want to do! I made a brainstorm post of some things I'd like to try. One thing that might be coming up in near future is helping my sister run a murder mystery party for her birthday. We used to love to do that, but it's been ages.

One big life hope for this year - I'm hoping the stars will align in such a way that I can move back to the city.

10. Which character(s) turned out differently from what you had planned?

Mm... Clockett didn't change drastically, but his approach to dealing with Graham did. In early draft, Clockett was very straightforward about what he wanted and thought Graham should do. Final draft Clockett almost never says what he's thinking, and prefers to work subtly by affirming everything he thinks Graham wants to hear and quietly steering that in the direction of what he, Clockett, wants. And I mean, none of it's very sinister - he wants Graham to 1) be okay with leading a slightly fancier lifestyle, and 2)let Clockett actually do his job as a valet. But this did mean he went from being a very blunt character to a very light touch character, so I suppose he qualifies for this question.

[wicked-witch-for-hire]

Literary references in Gale's selection remarks

I. Theatrical plays (Shakespeare & Walter Scott)

- A rough tempest I will raise. - Shakespeare - Tempest, - this is a mash-up of two quotes:

In Act V, Scene 1, Prospero uses the phrasing "when first I raised the Tempest". In the same scene, he recites a soliloquy about the great works of magic he has accomplished, before finally renouncing magic altogether: " ... But this rough magic I here abjure ..."

This is an incredibly apt sentence for Gale - one can interpret this tempest as his magical capabilities or just the calamity of the orb, or even his end game choice. The whole play which begins with a shipwreck might be compared to the plot of BG3.

- What fools these mortals be. - Puck - A Midsummer Night’s Dream

- All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it. Shakespeare, again. As You Like It Link

- Oh, what a tangled Weave we web! - riff on a quote from Sir Walter Scott's play Marmion.

The original quote is "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!"

II. Pop-cult

- Swords, meet sorcery!

This is a reference to the term "Swords & Sorcery" which was coined by F. Leiber (author of the Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser series) in 1961. Quoting from wiki: Sword and sorcery (S&S) or heroic fantasy is a subgenre of fantasy characterized by sword-wielding heroes engaged in exciting and violent adventures. Elements of romance, magic, and the supernatural are also often present. Unlike works of high fantasy, the tales, though dramatic, focus on personal battles rather than world-endangering matters. Sword and Sorcery tales eschew overarching themes of 'good vs evil' in favor of situational conflicts that often pit morally gray characters against one another to enrich themselves, or to defy tyranny.

- Gone with the Weave.

I think this is just a reference to the term "Gone with the wind" but not infamous book, lol.

- No gloom, all doom.

Riff on the popular expression "gloom & doom".

III. Religion

- Seek and you shall find me.

Jeremiah 29:13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Matthew 7:7–8 "Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds. To him who knocks it will be opened.

While I don't think Gale is our Lord and Saviour, this is an interesting line. I would not be surprised if the writers had also remarked on his peculiar resemblance to someone...so I think this is an inside joke.

- Let me recite their demise.

This alludes to the custom of reciting prayers for the dying and the dead (a common practice in Abrahamic religions).

IV. D&D homages & references

- Don't make me go all Edwin Odesseiron on you.

So Edwin was a possible companion in BG1 & 2. A lawful evil red wizard of Thay. If you have seen the new movie I don't need to explain further, but for those who don't: basically Lorroakan as a companion. He greets the protagonist with this: “ Greetings. I am Edwin Odesseiron. You simians may refer to me merely as "sir" if you prefer a less... syllable-intensive workout."

Gale basically threatens to go all power-hungry wizard on us - mind, this is a funny line you can only hear if you select him in combat over and over again (spamming).

- I hope Halaster takes good care of Tara while I'm away.

Halaster Blackcloak was was a notorious, ancient, and utterly insane wizard who resided within his lair, the infamous Undermountain ( located deep beneath the city of Waterdeep) and died in 1375, so circa 120 years before BG3 takes place (late 1492). As part of his many preparations to escape death, Halaster created a number of clone-bodies to receive his consciousness, which he kept locked in protective stasis and located throughout Undermountain and the lower reaches of Waterdeep. When Halaster died prior to the Spellplague, it was possible that one or more of these clones was activated and set free by 1479 DR, although this is not confirmed.

I guess this must be a joke in wizard's circle in Waterdeep :-) This is also a spam line, so one can only hear it if they really like to click on Gale.

- Coliar, Karpri, Anadia... So many worlds still to travel. One day. (looking at the astrolabe)

Coliar, Kapri, Anadia - are all planets in the system (Realmspace). Toril is the third planet, where Faerun is. To reach these places you need to use spelljammers. Gale needs to hitch a hike from Lae'zel I guess.