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knightyoomyoui · 1 year ago

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Chaeyoung x F Reader - "Something Just Like This"

FINALLY, THE LAST ONE-SHOT TO END THE SET 5 LINE-UP. I know this is the last, but sorry if this may suck, because I wrote it in just one go and it lacks editing. I'm still struggling with my lack of interest in writing these days and it's more difficult to cope if you're also battling with your poor mental and emotional health condition (yes, i'm currently having anxiety and panic attacks again because of being depressed from my personal matters) while stuck in a tight schedule full of stressful tasks both in campus and home. This one also lacks deeper research, but I still did some for basic infos that might help me with executing this concept that I input in this story. I needed it because it's the first time I'm doing this type of relationship-origin in romance. Despite of the cons and flaws, I still poured all the best that I have to write this story. Again, I'm sorry if I'm not updating often now like I've been doing since last year. Things has been pretty rough for me so far. Anyway, enjoy reading and kindly donate to my Ko-Fi account here if you liked it! I'll appreciate any amount of support from you guys. Thanks and see yall again on the Set 6 line-up!

ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui

To serve and to protect is the golden rule of a cop's duty.

For Son Chaeyoung, who has been working as a correctional officer or a warder for short, that apply much to her position.

She had to endure regulating and guarding the various behaviors of the prisoners that come and go around the place where they are locked up for the bad deeds they've done.

It was getting boring, in honestly speaking, with just standing and walking around most of the time every day to watch over prisoners who mostly couldn't care less about her.

Thankfully, she's not the only one who suffers in this particular line of work. There are colleagues of hers who can sympathize with her and could help each other to lessen the gloomy mood and at least search for a way to cheer themselves up during their duty.

Chaeyoung could tell that she has a lot of fellow officers here with whom she has gotten closer. She wants to be humble, but she knows that the reason she can attract others is because of her nice personality and... Well, yeah, her beauty that others seem to see is what separates her from them.

Chaeyoung doesn't have any interests in love life as of the moment, but she could admit that she's looking for someone who would like her not just for her qualities but to acknowledge that she's worth a meaning in her life.

She was walking with other police officers outside of the prison block to greet the new convicted people that were brought here by bus.

They watched them hop out one by one before the assigned member who will be in charge of organizing them instructed them to fall in line first.

"Alright, listen up. All of you were transferred here in Seoul Metropolitan Prison Camp, and this is where you will be placed in jail permanently, meaning that you will stay here depending on how long your granted sentences are." The leader of the correctional officers team, Boo Seungkwan, introduced

"As you all see, these cops will be in charge of monitoring your cells, so don't do anything stupid that might increase the length of your time here if you all want to leave and start another life, unless you still have one." Seungkwan points at the officers who are grouped on the other side.

"Now follow them, and they will be directing you all into your respective blocks. Move."

All of them start to walk side by side with the officers as they start their responsibility of keeping their eyes on these prisoners.

"I hope many of these newbies won't add up to those who are pain in the ass, Chaeyoung heard her colleague named Lee Youngji blurt before releasing a sigh. She didn't respond in words; just a stiffled laugh was enough for the latter to notice.

They were slowly presented to their new cell block, and we gave them their prison attire to change into.

At the West Hall, where Chaeyoung and Youngji are assigned, they split the six remaining inmates into three each.

With the last one, Chaeyoung looked at this person. She was a female, and it was a bit strange why she was giving out a smirk at the good cop.

"Inmate number 2129, name YN/LN, guilty for arson, hmm." Chaeyoung reads her information from the document papers she's holding. "Follow me."

"Your voice is mellow" the inmate said out of the blue. Chaeyoung slowed her footsteps.

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, I'm right." YN seethed. "You sound way less authorative. than those fellow peeps like you."

"Do I need to be harsh on you?" Chaeyoung tilted her head and raised her eyebrow.

"Oh, nope. Sorry." She shook her head.

"Good. Then stay quiet if you don't want me to show you how cruel I can be." Chaeyoung warned. "My day's getting real fine so far, and I don't want someone like you to ruin it."

"Yes, boss." YN taunted as she raised her handcuffed hands slightly.

They were inches away from their destination. Chaeyoung was about to head forward and release her keys when YN spoke again behind her, disregarding her threat just few minutes ago.

"One last thing, uhm... can I ask something?"

"About?"

"What inspired you to be a cop?"

"To capture criminals like you. Is that even hard to tell?"

"Wow, I'm offended." YN touched her chest, pretending to be hurt.

"Ofcourse, you do." Chaeyoung went in front of the cell door and inserted her key there to open.

"That's what you think." YN shrugged. "But honestly, I just asked because... you look just way too beautiful to be a cop, though. There's more out there who could-"

"Look, Ms. LN. I've heard many people try that same old lame move they've been doing on me and they all just failed. I don't give a damn if I choose this job, because this is my dream and I won't just give in to others who dictate what my life should be." Chaeyoung faced YN and applied a slight ferocity to her tone.

The latter wasn't terrified but rather impressed that this cute officer could indeed show a different side that gives her at least a fitting characteristic of being a cop.

"I didn't mean it to be that, I swear. I'm just saying the truth...." YN defended, trying to calm down Chaeyoung, yet it didn't work out so well still.

"Did you even hear what I told you that you should shut your mouth?" Chaeyoung crossed her arm. "Your first day here hasn't even starting yet and you're being arrogant already."

YN gaped her mouth, about to speak but choses not to in the end.

"Good. Prove me different, would you?" Chaeyoung rolled her eyes before opening the cell.

"This will be your section for now on. If you need anything or whatever you do there inside, I have to remind you that I will be the one in charge of you among others here with you in the hall. Now, go and change up." Chaeyoung instructed before she closed the door, leaving YN inside still standing in the middle of an average space room holding her attire.

"She'll believe me someday." YN popped her mouth before she heads to her bed and lay there to rest after a long ride.

Meanwhile, Chaeyoung who returns in her spot, placed down the papers on her desk and sat on her chair.

She glanced up at YN's room and shook her head as she sighed, with the inmates's compliments repeating in her head.

--------------------------------------

The next day, Chaeyoung escorted YN to the visitation booth when she received a visit request from a person who might be close to YN in her personal life.

She informed YN and walked her through the room. Opening the door, she urged YN to enter and leave her with her visitor for some alone time to discuss whatever they might have privately.

For YN, she stood in the room and recognized the guy sitting on the opposite side behind the plexiglass.

She sat on the chair and grabbed the telephone, pressing it on the speaker just like he did to hear each other's words when they spoke.

"I never thought that it would come to this moment where I would be seeing you in those inmate clothes, sister" her brother Insoo, said. "I know how terrible of a sister you are, but going through the point where you could actually commit a crime? Not surprising, but interesting for you."

"That's bullshit, Insoo-ah" YN said. "You really believe their accusations against me? You know that I don't play with fire; the hell I would dare to cause such destruction of a property by burning it down!"

"People can change, YN, and so can you" Insoo replied. YN scoffed, looking unbelievably at her older brother. "I don't know what has gotten into your mind, but have you really ever thought of what this would bring to our family? Now that you did it, you scratched and tainted the reputation of our name; even our family, who worked out to make us relevant, was affected by it!"

YN didn't say anything, she lets her brother to continue as she kept on listening to her manipulated remarks. "They're so disappointed of you, sister... and even me. This is a serious mess you've caused for us, and do you really think that you'll make us clean it for you?"

"W-where are you going with this, Insoo?"

"I came here today to tell you that our parents decided not to take any legal actions in attempt to grant your request of proving yourself not guilty in your case."

YN's eyes widened, petrified at the information given by her disrespectful brother.

"N-no..."

"You've caused them enough burden and headaches through these years, YN and it's normal for them to be tired of dealing with you."

"Don't tell me you have become one of them, Insoo-ah..."

"I already did."

YN's heart cracked. The trust and support she was expecting to receive from them despite all the mistreatment she's been getting from her rich family since her childhood has vanished completely.

At this moment, she truly felt that she had no family to live with anymore. She doesn't know, though, if it's like they're the ones who don't exist or if it's her now who is being appointed to be responsible for any of this.

"I never liked you, YN. I never even wished to have a sister like you, Insoo said. YN's eyes became watery at the painful words she'd been getting from the sibling she cherished the most, even though she wasn't being reciprocated after every effort she had to make.

"And now, I sincerely do think that our parents made a good decision by keeping you here. Because, after what you've done, you have proven yourself that you don't deserve to be my sibling and to belong in our family, let alone to have a criminal like you."

YN wants to respond, but it's as if the words filled with rage, disbelief, and torment were stuck in her throat. Only her desperate pleas were able to be released from her mouth.

"No, p-please. Insoo, don't. W-why are you doing this to me?!" YN leans forward and clasps her hands; her position clearly defines what a begging person would look like.

Teardrops began to run down her face, brought on by the simultaneous collapse of everything she'd built for herself because the one thing she was once treating as her source of inspiration and strength now turned out to be her weakness and the cause of her destruction.

"You simply deserve it; no further explanations are needed. Actions speak louder than words, and that is where you are mistaken, YN, Insoo commented. YN noticed that he didn't call her "sister" for the first time, signifying that his intentions of getting rid of her from his connection for good were serious.

"Take this as the last time you will ever see me, YN. This is enough for me to see you pay for the sin you've committed."

"Insoo... Insoo-ah!!! Come back! P-please... save me... get me out of here, I'm your sister for fucks sake!!!" YN stood from her seat and shouted at Insoo, who took his way out of the room. She slammed her hands on the table and placed her head down on it as she cried terribly.

Chaeyoung opened the door when she heard a knocking signal. A messed-up look from YN is what greeted her, and that piqued the curiosity of the cop.

As they arrived back at the cell, after Chaeyoung unlocked the door, she wanted to at least ask the inmate what happened to her.

It's not that she's concerned about her; she just wants to know why, since this is the first time she's seen YN with this broken demeanor after weeks of her stay in prison.

However, she failed to do so when YN immediately went to her room and crashed her body against the bed. Chaeyoung was about to say something but decided to just give her some space since she might need it a lot.

And she was right; after she closed the door and locked it, she was about to walk away when she heard some heavy sobs from the inside, focusing her attention more on the prisoner's poor condition.

The next day, Chaeyoung saw YN sitting on one of the benches alone in the yard, surrounded by a crowd of other prisoners just doing their own business, whether chatting with their cellmates, playing sports, or just enjoying the fresh breeze of air like YN is doing, even though the word "enjoy" doesn't seem to apply to what Chaeyoung is witnessing.

YN was just staring at the grassy land, spacing out from the unknown. Chaeyoung predicted that what she encountered yesterday during the vaation must left some heavy thoughts to cloud her mind deeply.

It kinda haunts and makes the officer uncomfy, again she doesn't know but who cares? That's her prisoner and it's her duty to ensure that they are in proper condition.

"You look lonely."

YN raised her head up to see Officer Son standing beside her, clutching on her pockets. That didn't lasted long as she just returned it back on her leg.

"Could I provide some way to fix that?"

"Why would you bother anyway?" YN asks. "I thought you wouldn't care about me, just like anything I've ever known and encountered in my life."

"You're under my supervision, YN/LN, so it's my responsibility to assist you."

"How so?" YN blurted. "If I tell what I want, and that it to bring the people I've lost in my life to come back, would you do that for me?"

"What is going on, YN? Why did you have to mention them?" Chaeyoung stepped closer at YN who is now trying to shift herself to the side, flinching at the presence of the cop.

"This has something to do with yesterday, doesn't it?"

YN didn't reply for a second there as she remained staring down at the grass. Chaeyoung thought that she still couldn't make it so in respect, she grabbed a bottle of water and gave it to YN.

"Take it."

"For what?"

"Give yourself a break for now", Chaeyoung said before YN finally took a sip and capped the bottle. "I know what happened might be too personal for you, but if you're having any struggles, I'm just right here for you to lean on and open up whatever you've been carrying deep inside of you."

YN sighed and tightened her lips, keeping her eyes focused on the other prisoners around her. She sensed Chaeyoung about to turn her back and walk away when she finally spoke, preventing the latter from leaving too soon.

"My brother just visited me yesterday. He told me that they weren't going to do any solutions for my sentence."

Chaeyoung turned around and looked at her, wiping off tears in her eyes with the back of her hand. "I feel betrayed, disheartened, whatever you want to call it. I never would've expected them that they would just drop the ball and never pick it up again. I was rather telling myself that maybe someday, everything's going to be alright and they'll get to show me that they do indeed care for me despite how they've never been expressive for me all these years."

"But now, I just learned that I've been making myself like a fool for believing something that will only remain in my imagination. They really don't care about me, and never will be. Seeing how they're just completely fine for them that I get to spend 2 years of my lifetime here in prison for something I didn't do." "You didn't do it?" Chaeyoung furrowed her eyebrows. "Wait... YN-"

"I don't know if you have forgotten that not all people who get convicted in the world were guilty and masterminds of the crimes that were committed. There were others too who got victimized and blamed in order to save their selfish selves, picking any innocent person that is unaware of what's going to happen for them."

"I didn't, YN. I know and I have encountered other colleagues of mine who shared their own stories about them experiencing one."

"Then I guess you have your own story to tell this time."

Chaeyoung looked intently at YN.

"YN, you're not who I think you are... don't you?"

YN smiled and shut her eyes. "I'm actually disappointed that although you've known the fact, you couldn't resist assuming others that they're criminals just because they're wearing these sinner's clothes, just like what you did to me these past few weeks." She glanced at Chaeyoung after, her lips formed straight in seriousness.

"L-look, YN... I'm sorry, but the evidence that was presented against you in the court that led you here just proves that you were behind the arson. That won't grant you what we call "guilty until proven innocent". That's why you're locked up here at the moment, and that's why I don't see any mistake for us to call you a criminal because that's what the judgment provided us to know about you."

"So it looks like I do deserve it; I'm sorry if I blamed you, off-."

"No, don't mind it. I have a fault here too. I should've been mindful." Chaeyoung shook her head. "But please, tell me. If you're really not the one who did the crime, then who do you think it is?"

"I have no idea." YN shrugged, her voice raising a little. "All I know is that detectives and other police went to my house and sent me an arrest warrant saying that the evidence they caught in the scene all leads to me. And I was wondering how I would cause a fire if I didn't even know what place that was, and not to mention, those things they saw were stored in my garage."

Chaeyoung nodded as she took in YN's summary of her mind. "So you're saying that if that wasn't you, then somebody did that fire on the hardware store and they used your things, am I correct?"

"Y-yeah."

"Then in that case, the real culprit is still roaming around out there, enjoying the life of being unruled within the justice system, Chaeyoung said. "Do you plan to reopen the case?"

"I... I don't know." YN sighed, gripping at the wood of the bench tightly. "I've lost hope anymore, Officer Son. My family turned their back on me, and for sure everybody who knows me will surely do the same. You don't know how influential they can be."

"Officer, it's too late for me. I feel like this is my fate. Where I belong to. I know that I was never technically a part of their family, sharing their blood, but... it troubles me that if they didn't care about me, why they'd still take the decision to adopt me when I was a lost child."

Chaeyoung was astounded at YN's reveal of her backstory, shedding more light to make herself more understandable.

"You know what, I should stop this. Whatever happens, it will all be left for me to deal with it. This is my karma for being ungrateful."

After their conversation, YN stood up from her seat and walked away with her head lowered. Chaeyoung watches her disappear, with an obvious sight of concern and pity present in her face, after discovering the facts that YN has never given a chance to be explained and defend herself.

----------------------

Each day that passes, YN and Chaeyoung's closeness grows, which begins to capture others attention, mostly from the prisoners, where they earn teases from them.

However, they both also receive some discrimination, mostly from the cop's low perspective towards YN being a criminal and for Chaeyoung seemingly losing her focus on the real deal of her duty by being affectionate towards prisoners.

There's one time where Chaeyoung is patrolling around the blocks when her fellow cop approaches and joins her on the stroll, only with the intention of attempting to hit up the young lady.

She feels immensely harassed by him with all the force insists and weird flirty acts. Chaeyoung tries to decline and separate herself from her co-worker, but she just can't let go and arrogantly proceeds to irritate her.

Chaeyoung is doing her best to hold on to her stability and not cross the line and risk her job for a scumbag like him until YN suddenly shows up and confronts the cop.

"Couldn't you hear what she's saying? How many more times would it take for you to leave her alone?"

"Shut up, prisoner. This ain't none of your business here. Cops talk." The male cop smirks smugly at her as he presses his biceps closer to Chaeyoung, who begins to shiver in a mixture of frustration and disgust.

YN noticed Chaeyoung's discomfort, which motivated her to help this poor woman more. "Oh really? From the looks of Officer Son, though, she looks like she doesn't want to see you disturbing her. Are you even aware, or are you just pretending to be blind?"

"Last warning, get out or I'll throw you back to the cell where you belong."

YN sighed and looked at Chaeyoung, who just shook her head and silently signaled her to not go with it, but she just glared back at her and stared at the perverted cop dead in the eyes.

"I've been giving all my respect to all of the officials doing their duty to manage this place, but of course, just like everybody, I have an exception, and I do it especially for people like you who couldn't understand what consent is."

YN stepped closer and stood toe to toe with the male cop, keeping Chaeyoung close to her with his hand on her wrist.

"Get your goddamn hands away from her." She gritted her teeth as she hissed.

The male cop's lips twitched and rolled his tongue before he gave Chaeyoung a headbutt, making the girl dizzy as she landed on the floor.

"Come here, you piece of shit." The male cop tugged YN's hair and dragged her closer to him.

"DO. YOU. KNOW. WHO. YOU. ARE. CURSING. AT, YOU. BITCH!" The male cop is slapping YN harshly both in her left and right cheek with every words he pronounce.

Chaeyoung shouted for help, drawing all the prisoners and cops attention to the fight that was happening.

They split them apart from each other. The male cop abusing YN furiously sweeps away all of his colleague's hands from touching him in an attempt to calm him down before he walks away and glares dangerously at YN's attack state.

The cops who helped YN escorted her to the medical room to get her wounds and bruises treated.

The nurse was about to apply aid to YN, but Chaeyoung interrupts as she enters the room, saying something to the nurse before she leaves, leaving the two alone.

"You're supposed to guard there; w-why are you here?"

"I can't be calmed knowing I had somebody used herself in defense for me to be protected." Chaeyoung said. She pulled the metal cart with tray filled with medicines in her.

"Let me treat you by myself. Take this as my repay atleast for what you've done for me." Chaeyoung said as she reached for the cotton and betadine liquid to pour into.

"You don't have to do that." YN groaned as she felt the aching part had pressure applied to it. "I can't just stand there and watch you working with passion just to get disrepected and sexualized."

Chaeyoung smiled at YN's remark. "Thank you for that, seriously."

"You should do something about that guy. You can't just let him get away with it."

Chaeyoung went silent, trouble plastered in her look.

"Why? What's with the tense?"

"I don't have much evidence to prove. He might spun around the story and make himself a victim."

"The CCTV's?"

"The CCTV's range of view doesn't reach in that area, YN." Chaeyoung answered.

"Well I guess I have to do it myself." YN said before she winces in pain. "Ow ow aish..."

"Stay still, I know it hurts but you won't heal if you allow me." Chaeyoung then wheezes after.

"Why? What's so funny, huh?"

"I don't know... I just find it funny that you're more scared of a cotton getting damped in your wound than receiving a bunch of heavy blows from a well-built guy."

YN rolled his eyes and nudges her lips. "Stop teasing me."

Chaeyoung laughs and continues to wrap the wounds with gauze properly. "Now, now. We're almost done so be chill."

"But I just find something funny too."

"What's yours?" Chaeyoung asks.

"You even made an effort to come here and do the aid by yourself when all I needed to be fine and ease my pain was to hear your soothing voice and see you unharmed by that pervert."

Chaeyoung paused at her movement and slowly made contact with YN's eyes, viewing her as she reacted speechlessly. She saw her smile developing while she wandered around her features.

"Believe me or not, but I meant what I said before. I'm not the type who focuses only on the outside, but you're just pretty; it's so unavoidable.

So thank you, Chaeyoung. Thank you for always making me calm when you're near."

Chaeyoung was only able to nod before she finished her treatment for YN; the lack of words dealt by her fluttering and appreciative remarks is what sent her conscience to go crazy.

She declared that the wounds in her face were now treated. Before she's about to go away, YN halts her for one last message before they end seeing each other for today. "About your problem, I got your back, Chae. I'll volunteer as the witness if it requires one."

"B-but what if they won't believe you?" Chaeyoung worried. YN can see the hopelessness in her, exactly the same as what she's been going through.

But YN didn't focus at that, there's this difference that she spotted which was more important for her to based on.

"Then I will keep pushing forward until I make them be, because you have a chance and you have the right to grab that, Chae. I don't want you to end up like me."

As Chaeyoung left the room, she sighed and stroked her hair stressfully as she makes her way back to her station.

She is beginning to become impatient and irritated at YN's negative insights.

"You keep saying that to yourself, why have you given up already?"

She knew it wasn't over for YN yet, and if that prisoner has lost its way to search for a solution down the road, then she doesn't want her to remain like that forever. Now she is convinced that she was just left there abandoned by the people she considered her loved ones.

"Hang in there, YN. It's my turn to get you out of your misery" Chaeyoung confidently said to herself as she quickened her pace of walking.

She has found you in the middle of your unfair fate, and all that she needs to do is lead you the way and take you as your sign of escape.

------------------------

The harassment complaint that Chaeyoung has filed against the male cop was approved as the final decision despite its attempts to reverse the suspect's blame and disguise himself as non-accountable.

It wouldn't be successful if it weren't for YN's voluntary act to state everything she witnessed during that scenario. The proof was strengthened when Chaeyoung's friend, Officer Lee Youngji, joined YN's goal to save and make Chaeyoung's side represent herself as the victim.

In punishment, the cop was stripped of his badge and position and fired. The chief made one last reminder and advice to everyone that they won't tolerate this shameful and disgusting act, and if they caught anybody, they better report it immediately for it to be discussed.

Chaeyoung thanked YN and Youngji for their assistance. The desire of hers to hug YN just like she did to Youngji is strong, yet unfortunately, she has to cover it up to make herself less suspicious.

In a gesture of gratitude, she only patted YN's shoulder and shook hands with her.

A few months later, Chaeyoung and YN both confirmed on their own that they are falling in love mutually, but with the same issue, neither has made the first move yet.

They both know that it's illegal for a cop and a person deprived of liberty to be in a relationship with each other inside the prison, as stated in the rules.

They were keeping it disclosed to the others so nobody could identify it and possibly report it to the higher-ups, so YN and Chaeyoung have no other choice but to hide their feelings and act like nothing's been going on between them.

It was hard when they always saw each other with their hearts shouting for one another's name, but for the sake of their safety, Chaeyoung and YN would do it all so none would face the consequences that would put them in a tough situation.

Aside from that, YN was baffled when she received another notification that she got a visit from someone after months of last seeing her brother.

She was unsure whether they changed their minds or if it was a different person this time who managed to pay a visit for her.

Entering the visitation booth, she was stunned to see a familiar person who appeared in her sight.

"YN!"

"C-Chaewon?!" She said in disbelief.

Rushing through the chair, she took a chair and sat in front of her bestfriend who just returned from abroad.

"OMO... W-WHAT HAPPENED? I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE SEEING YOU AGAIN BUT IN A WRONG PLACE?!" Chaewon exclaimed. "Why are you in jail?"

"Chaewon..." YN began to cry, she placed her hand on the glass in which Chaewon placed hers directly into the reflection.

"Take it slow, you have the time." Chaewon comforts her poor friend, frowning at the sight of her being devastated.

"T-they didn't took you away from me, right?"

"Huh? Wh-what? Who's they?"

YN pauses as she sniffs at her tears. "Mom, dad, or my brother. Did any of them tell you anything wrong about me?"

"I-I mean, they told me that you committed arson when I tried to meet them after I couldn't meet you at your house. I went here to confirm it straight at you, YN. My guts are telling me not to believe them immediately."

"No, don't! Just don't listen to whatever they say, Chaewon. Please."

"I didn't, don't worry. I know you aren't capable of doing that. You're not the YN I know that they believe you to be today." Chaewon relaxes her. YN was at least uplifted that a miracle just unexpectedly came to her, something she never knew would happen.

There was still at least one special person out there of hers who never lost their trust and loyalty for her, and it was stupid for her at the same time to not show the same positivity as her best friend.

"Just tell me, specifically. It might be not everything, just... give me atleast idea of what happened to you and why I have to witness my friend locked up behind bars."

YN sighed and wiped off the remaining wet stains around her face. "I-I feel like somebody framed me up, Chae."

Chaewon also perceives the same thought but she kept on listening. ""I didn't burn a property, Chaewon. I swear, but the evidences that were attained to the crime scene were all connected at mine. And I do admit, those are my belongings but I don't know how it just magically appeared there."

"So you mean, there's somebody out there who did it in actual but it uses it to cover her violation?"

"Yeah."

"And who do you might think it'll be?" Chaewon wondered. "Did you have any altercations with somebody?"

"No, I didn't."

"Whoever did that to you must've held a huge amount of pent-up anger and hatred; that's why they chose that idea to get back at you" Chaewon explained. "That could be the reason for you to request revisiting your case. Do you have plans to?"

"I was... but I lost hope when I thought nobody would ever help me get out of here."

"I'm both sorry and glad to hear you like that, but what matters now is that I'm here to take back my friend."

YN's eyes widened as Chaewon announced that without hesitation.

"Let's file a request with the court, YN. It's not too late for you to flip the tables around and retrieve your justice back."

As they ended their bittersweet reunion, YN emotionally bid goodbye to Chaewon for today before she returns to the hallway.

Chaeyoung pitifully smiled at her. "How did it go?"

"I still have a chance, officer, YN stuttered as she tried to control her tears from escaping again. Chaeyoung was astounded to hear a positive note from YN about herself for once.

"What do you mean?"

"My friend from the States came back to see me, and she wants us to file a request with the judge to reinvestigate the case."

Chaeyoung was delighted at the news brought by that friend of hers. She got curious about who that might be. Her feelings had no involvement with this; it was just the perfect timing for her to propose her plan.

"Great for you! I hope this time, it's you who will win the fight you never wanted to be in."

YN smiled and nodded before she walked away. Chaeyoung felt refreshed; it had been a long time coming to see her full of bloomy mood, and she wished it wouldn't stop immediately because YN... is her source of energy for working every day.

As she disappeared to the distance, Chaeyoung enters the other side of the booth and requests to the guard to hand her the logbook.

She searched through the recent notes and there, she got what she wanted to find.

"Kim Chaewon...." Chaeyoung muttered as she saved her contact number on her phone.

-------------------------------

"Are you Officer Son Chaeyoung?"

A woman who is almost the same height as her, sporting a short black hair with bangs, striped t-shirt, cargo pants, and sneakers emerged beside her as she carefully peeked at Chaeyoung who is sitting comfortably outside of a cafe.

"And you are Miss Kim Chaewon, right?"

"Yes." They bowed at each other for respect before they also exchanged greetings to each other.

"How did you get my number, if I may ask?"

"The logbook you signed in when you met YN/LN." She clarified. "She's your friend, right?"

"Yes, officer."

"Just call me Chaeyoung. No need to be formal."

"Oh uhm... yes. YN's my friend since we were in high school."

"Okay." Chaeyoung nodded. "You're the perfect person would could take my favor easily." "Uhm, why did you brought me here and meet you up? I'm curious."

"I know that you want your friend to get out of prison, so is YN and...

I am too."

"Y-you?"

Chaeyoung nodded. "Yes. YN has turned out to be my friend there. She has done so many nice things for me, and I'm here to return it all back, and I need your help just as you need mine."

Chaewon stayed silent; she only narrowed her eyes when she spotted a bit of an intriguing word that Chaeyoung used there.

"YN told me that she's going to continue insuing a request for motion to reinstate to the judge, and I support her for that. I couldn't help her for that because I have to remain anonymous or else I'm done" Chaeyoung elaborated.

"But, I could help her by providing the best of the detectives who can help her revisit and investigate the case again, which will eventually grant her a non-guilty decision. All I need to know is... do you accept my offer?"

Chaewon bit her lip as she processed it in her mind. Chaeyoung has effectively presented herself as a useful ally here who sets up a deal with her on her agenda to help YN reward her freedom.

Without showing any pride or doubts about the mentioned proposal, Chaewon spoke out shortly enough to prevent the officer from wasting more time.

"I accept."

-----------------------------

The judge approved, and the reinvestigation went smoothly with the help of Chaeyoung's friends she recommended from the police district in her hometown, Detective Kim Dahyun and Detective Chou Tzuyu.

Every detail that they collected was being updated to Chaeyoung so that she could tell YN, who can cooperate by helping the team expand and clear all the confusion that might be a barrier to their progress.

On the final day of the trial, Chaewon was about to enter the waiting room with cups of coffee in her hand when she captured Chaeyoung peeking at the door.

Intrigued by what she's watching, she found out that her eyes are locked on YN, who is silently praying near the window.

She slowly poked the officer's shoulder to avoid her being startled and cause the inmate to halt her prayer.

"How long have you been watching her?"

"N-not that long." Chaeyoung swallowed, side-eyeing in a glimpse of shame in her part.

"Hmm. Okay." Chaewon nodded, pursing her lower lip.

They both continue to monitor YN who is now viewing the scenery outside.

"You're doing this for her, but not only because of what you told me, do you?" Chaewon said from behind. Chaeyoung glances to the right where she easily heard it.

"How c-could you tell?

"I'm a psychiatrist actually. I'm on my vacation for 3 months here in South Korea that's why i'm here... temporarily." Chaewon revealed. "So yeah, I could depict whether a person is lying or not. I suppose your mannerism is twitching your upper lip when you do."

Chaeyoung opened her wide widely as she turned around and looked at Chaewon in shock. The latter just grinned and shrugged.

"Looks like I hit the bullseye with that."

"Don't tell her please." Chaeyoung bowed her head.

"I won't, but why?"

"I'm about to tell her myself, but I'll do it on the right time. I'm prepared, but I much prefer to do it at any place where we both can feel that we're free from anything. Away from a bunch of judgmental and rude people. Where nothing could hold me back from saying that I love her too."

A few hours later, the trial has reached its conclusion, but with a breathtaking twist for anyone who is present in the court.

Just as the judge declared the win for YN's side, implying a non-guilty order for her, the two detective buddies of Chaeyoung arrived at the scene to make a shocking statement.

It was found out through a series of tests that the new fingerprints, footprints, and cctv footage they gathered, which were absent from the previous investigation, all pointed to the sole person that Dahyun and Chaeyoung forcefully brought with them to show anybody that the accused is indeed innocent.

It was none other than YN's stepbrother, LN In-soo, who plotted and performed the crime against her.

He was about to sneakily escape the country when the team chased him all away to the Incheon International Airport when the experiments that were conducted from him matched positive to what they received in the materials he used on burning the said establishment.

Instead of being completely happy that she can now walk out of prison, it was mixed with devastation and anger that the only man she considered special in her life would be able to do this to her unmatched to how she looked up at him throughout their childhood days.

"I TREATED YOU LIKE MY REAL BROTHER! WHY DID YOU, MOM AND DAD INCLUDED ME TO BE PART OF THE FAMILY! JUST SO YOU CAN EMOTIONALLY ABUSE ME MORE THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH WHEN I WAS ABANDONED BY MY PARENTS?!" YN shouts and tugs the shirt aggressively at her brother who is the real criminal and the mastermind of one of the worst happenings existed in her life while the guards tried to seperate them apart from each other.

Based from the interview, they have learned that Insoo did it so that he can get rid of her stepsister for good. He never wanted a sibling to be a girl, but he had no choice before but to get along with his parent's plan to let YN in their family so that they could make their grandparents proud that they had finally found a granddaughter to cherish.

That's why when YN entered in their life, Insoo felt like everything has been disrupted for him, starting from his grandparent's attention, the priorities, and the popularity among others who knew about their family's background.

So he came up with a plan that perfectly describes his cold-hearted personality with a cruel intention... and that is to destroy YN and reclaim everything he lost. He was the man behind the hooded and tracksuit wearing figure caught in the camera invading the front of YN's house from the hidden smart cam in one of the houses in the neighborhood.

Unfortunately for him, karma always prevails in the end and that led him to replace the spot intended for him to receive in the first place, not by his innocent step-sister who did nothing wrong with him or even dared to try it.

Meanwhile at the prison camp, YN has finally said her goodbyes to all of the inmates she had gotten close to, including Officer Youngji and Detective Dahyun and Tzuyu.

She had one last person to see which she saved because she always thought that she is the best amongst everyone.

Chaeyoung was sipping on her coffee as she reviews all the punishment of the newly arrived inmates when she saw YN walking towards her, now wearing a civilian attire with a backpack behind her.

She didn't forgot that it would her release today, she just wants to distract herself from thinking about it because she couldn't help but to sad not seeing her frequently around here anymore but still, she's happy that she finally made YN get the fate she deserved to have.

"Officer Son", YN called her.

"What happened with our agreement that we shouldn't be formal with each other?"

"Sorry, but I just want to call you that one last time for me to say my farewell properly as your inmate." She chuckled, rubbing her nape shyly. Chaeyoung grinned at how cute she was.

"Goodbye, Officer Son." She bowed in front of her. Chaeyoung hesitantly did the same, as her smile was about to shrink, but not until YN followed up with one more thing to say.

"But... as for you, Son Chaeyoung, the one whom I met as my best friend in this crowded, unreal place, I have to tell you something that is much better than saying goodbye."

She reached for her hand and squeezed it. Chaeyoung just had the biggest blush and the fastest heartbeat she ever had in her lifetime.

"I'm in love with you. It sounds cliche, but I meant it with all my heart. You were the first one who kept me calm and fought through all my negative insights just to shed some light of positivity for me to realize that it's not over for me yet. As long as I'm living, there is no end until time says so, and I thank you for making me realize it again without denial. You gave me hope and chances I thought I would never get when I went through this state that I thought I lost everything meaningful in my life... but then it all changed when I met you. My life was all dark until you showed up, and it was all yellow because you gave it color."

Chaeyoung cried at YN's heartfelt and sincere message. She gripped her hand more, and she cuddled it near her face, allowing YN to help her wipe off her tears.

"Don't cry. I didn't say goodbye to you, Chaeyoung, because I knew this wasn't the last time we'd meet again."

She pinched her cheek before she started to twirl her body around and walk away from Chaeyoung, who was left blossoming and touched by the confession she had been waiting to hear.

MORE THAN A WEEK LATER

YN parked her car and greeted the guards before she entered the facility.

Bringing the gifts with her, she enthusiastically walked to the help desk to state her concern.

"Good morning, I'm here to visit Officer Son Chaeyoung, please."

"Oh, uhm... you're looking for Officer Son?"

"Yes. Is she here?"

"But... maam, she left the camp last week." The policewoman said. YN was surprised at the news.

"Wait, what? T-then may I know where is she stationed now?"

"No, maam. She wasn't moved. As far as I know, she resigned from her position."

YN's mind went blank as she became clueless on where she could find Chaeyoung and return to her as what she was aiming to do once she got released, with the problem being that she didn't get to save her phone number before she left.

Back at the new house where she's currently residing and start a new life being away from the reputation of her family, acquiring a new surname for her to use legally.

She went inside, and it was still the same; everyone was preparing for the party they organized for today.

"You're back! And... what's with the pout, bestie?" Chaewon asked Chaeyoung, pointing at her with a pack of spaghetti noddles she's holding.

"I didn't get to see her, Chaeyoung said lamely. "She wasn't working at the camp anymore."

"Ahhhh... okay." Chaewon nodded, looking uninterested at Chaeyoung's reveal. "Anyways, get some rest, and we'll be about to start soon." She quickly rushed to the kitchen.

"What's up with her? Does she care about me getting sad that Chaeyoung's not around anymore after all she has done for me?" YN muttered at herself before she slumped her body on the couch.

Half an hour later, the celebration for YN's new home began. Chaewon's family joined, and even Detective Dahyun, Detective Tzuyu, and Officer Youngji paid a surprise visit to check on YN and enjoy time with her.

YN appreciated their presence but the thought of missing Chaeyoung still couldn't make her be in ease.

She approached Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Youngji wjo are now eating their respective foods in one table.

"Uhh hey guys, I just want to ask if have you guys know where Chaeyoung lives?"

"Yeah, we do." Dahyun said. "Why?"

"I want to visit her. I went to the camp earlier and I just found out that she wasn't working there anymore so I'm just curious and concerned for her, you know." YN explained. "Can I get her address?"

"No, why should we?"

"Pardon?"

"Why should we give it to you? So you can waste your time finding her?" Youngji answered.

"Huh? Ummm guys, I don't know why you guys are acting weird too li-"

"Shush it, YN. Let us finish, okay?" Tzuyu interrupted. That effectively made YN quiet as she observed the strange acts of her friends. "Again, why should we tell you her address and let you waste your time looking for her when you can even meet yourself right here today?"

They all pursed their lips in one direction. YN furrowed her eyebrow before she turned around and followed what they were referring to.

Her eyes landed on the familiar figure standing meters away from her at the gate. It slowly walked straight towards her, which was then followed by her own footsteps.

They did it until they shrank their gap, where they can now see their faces closer and more visible to admire.

"Looking for me?" Chaeyoung smirked, her hand hands behind her back and stared deeply at the gasping YN who is seeing her in a different new look. "I'm sorry if i'm a bit late. I had to try some clothes in my closet."

She was wearing a red dress, black heels and a new short haircut which she stylized it with blonde color, looking even much mesmerizing than her being in her police uniform.

"Chaeyoung." YN breathily said. "I-It's fine, you picked the right choice and it looks perfect on you."

"Hi." She grinned brightly.

"I-It's fine, you picked the right choice and it looks perfect on you."

"I'm sorry too if didn't gave up an update about what happened to me. Well, I wanted to make my surprise live up to its term."

YN understood it. "Can you tell me now?"

"Ofcourse. If you are thinking about the possibility of it, then you are correct. I was resigned from my job."

"Why?

"I made a violation and the chief discovered it when somebody went to report at her that caught me involving myself in Dahyun and Tzuyu's investigation without permission. She gave me 2 months of suspension in return."

"B-but the helper said you were fired?"

"No, I didn't. Nobody except those three in the back knew about exactly what happened." Chaeyoung clarified.

"You only got suspended though, so why did you resigned?"

"I already achieved my dream, and 10 years of service was enough for me to step out. I just had another new dream to live on, so I sacrificed one for it."

Chaeyoung grabbed both of her hands and watched their own pairs lock into one another's touch satisfyingly. "I said before to myself that I would only do it when both of us are now free from anything.

Where nothing... can hold me back from telling you that I love you."

Chaeyoung held YN's back of her head and pulled it closer for her to press their lips together for a much-awaited kiss. All of their friends cheered at the back as they watched this happy ending that they were all anticipating.

"For the first time in my life, I had to let my heart choose itself what lies ahead of me, and I finally did it. I thought you'll be just like one of them who only cares about 'what' I am but never at 'who' I am but instead you turned out to be someone who made me feel how valuable I am by cherishing how small things I've done could mean a lot already to you even though I knew I could've done better. I got what I'm finding for, and it was something just like this, YN." Chaeyoung softly said, her hands sliding up and down on YN's shoulders. "I told you, I never fully regret what happened to me, because if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be able to meet the person who was ready to risk and join me wherever she wants to go. If that's what you desire... then I wouldn't mind follow you along, Chae." YN said heartfully. "Let's continue to make hopes and enter opportunities for the future together."

They both kissed passionately again with their own initiative, as it lasted a little longer than the previous.

Breaking their moment for a while, they nodded and grinned before deciding to return to their friends and join them celebrate this special day they're having.

#twicechaeyoung #chaeyoung #sonchaeyoung #twicechaeyoungxfreader #twicechaeyoungxfemalereader #chaeyoungxfreader #chaeyoungxfemalereader #twicexreader #chaeyoungoneshot #twicechaeyoungoneshot #gxg #twiceoneshot #chaeyoungau #twiceau #kpoponeshot #kpopfanfic #kpopau

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xxsycamore · 3 years ago

Text

- Out of red and blue - [NAPOLEON/READER SMUT]

Rating: E

Word count: 1,274

Relationship: M/F; Napoleon/Reader (MC)

Tags: Making out; French kissing

Summary: While waiting for their friends, Napoleon and his lover get caught into something heated and personal. Will they be able to keep it a secret for long?

Part of @voltage-vixen ‘s Summer of Smut Content Creation Challenge 2.0.

✦ Day 15 - Free prompt (Slushy) ✦

[DAY 1] [DAY 2] [DAY 3] [DAY 4] [DAY 5] [DAY 6] [DAY 7] [DAY 8] [DAY 9] [DAY 10] [DAY 11] [DAY 12] [DAY 13] [DAY 14]

A/N: SO this whole thing is actually inspired by a meme by @daisiesandshakes (you can find the original post here) that I saw some time ago and randomly thought of. It’s silly and I love it and I think this is the best way to end this challenge.

Check my masterlist here!

MC shrieked in surprise as something cold was pressed to the skin of her upper arm, vulnerable to the temperature thanks to the many hours of sun throughout the day. She puffed out her bottom lip at her laughing boyfriend, being upset with just how much it appeared to be entertaining him to tease her like that.

"I'm sorry Nunuche, I couldn't help myself. I thought you'd be expecting it by now." He ruffled her hair apologizingly and hanged her the cool treat. "Here is your slushy."

She thought the same if she had to be honest, having in mind that summer meant Napoleon had one too many cold things to press up to her skin along with all other kinds of ideas to tease her with. She must have been prepared to expect it by now.

Accepting the slushy without as much as a word being said, she decided to pretend to be mad for a little more, just to see what happens. Hopefully she'd win herself a kiss or two that were anticipated by her ever since they went out tonight. MC wanted to make good use of their time out together as they were going to meet later with Jean, Vincent, and Theo - of course, she was the last person to mind company, as she loved hanging around with the others in any chance should their schedules allow it.

"Ah, I see how it is. Let me make it up to you."

Hearing this, MC turned her face enthusiastically to claim her kiss, but for her surprise, Napoleon leaned in to put his lips on her forearm instead of her lips. In a flash, he licked a stripe down her skin with his hot tongue and straightened up once more as if nothing happened.

"Better?" He threw her a sly side look.

"You're shameless!" MC looked away just in case he was able to see her visibly warming-up cheeks. Hoping that a swig of her raspberry slushy would deal with her newly founded problem with heat, Napoleon's fingers intertwined with hers as if to crush her fantasies.

"Shameless? This was nothing."

Napoleon sounded almost offended to be taken so lightly, and the grip on her hand tightened. Sipping from his own blueberry slushy, he impatiently made his way through the crowd as if searching for something.

"Alright, come with me."

Before MC had the chance to protest, Napoleon guided her by the hand into a narrow passageway. Seeing that no one else was around came as a relief for MC, for whatever reasons exactly she couldn't tell. Surely Napoleon only wanted to drag her to the side so he could kiss her properly and they would be back right afterwards.

"Napoleon, what are you doing?"

"Depends. You can say this is me apologizing for teasing you so much those past days." He pulled her closer, his hands coming loosely around her waist as if just to trap her in kiss-reach. He leaned into her neck, stopping just below her earlobe. "Or, I might just be doing something shameless here."

Opening her mouth to say something, MC shrieked again as Napoleon caught her flushed earlobe between his contrastingly cold lips, sucking gently onto it. MC put her hands on his chest, not exactly pushing him away nor clinging for support just yet, but it was a fact that Napoleon's ministrations left her a little too worked up than usual. He liked what he saw and decided to put his mind into making a mess out of her, by teasing and kissing the area more and more. He let his hands roam down her waist and rear, getting a firm hold of her ass and enjoying how she pressed back into his hands.

MC moaned pathetically into his shoulder, not having it in herself to fight back the pent-up desire and she gave up hiding it altogether. Sliding her hand up his neck and towards the back of his head, she pulled him back by grabbing into his dark hair and used the chance to smash her lips into his. She put her intentions into the kiss, her tongue breaking into his mouth hungrily and making good use of the few seconds of Napoleon being held back by her boldness.

He answered back in the same fashion, humming softly into the kiss as he took the lead. He felt MC lifting up her leg as if trying to press harder into his couch, trying to make Napoleon take the hint to hook her leg into his arm, to just do something��at all to quench the fire spreading inside her.

Napoleon withdrew to breathe in the night air, smirking at how needy his Nunuche was for him, before claiming her lips into another fierce kiss.

***

Vincent starred into the crowd, worrying that a second more and his younger brother's already thin-running patience would finally snap. The blonde's sympathies in such times would be typically aimed towards Arthur. This time, the victims were notably more innocent, so it had to be taken in mind. Soon, he felt relief as he spotted a familiar couple approaching them.

"Theo, there they are!"

Jean and Theo looked in the direction pointed by Vincent and they could see a woman waving back at the blonde. Once the pair was close enough, Theo didn't bother to greet them, as he ran a hand through his unruly locks and started walking in the direction of their planned hang-out spot.

"Took you long enough."

"I'm sorry Theo! We might have gotten a bit lost there…"

Knowing his brother's distrust in such excuses, Vincent hurried to offer him a smile that doubled as a scolding.

"Theo, leave them be, they must be wanting to have some alone time as a couple! It's Friday night yet you're back to your restless self…"

The trick might have worked, because Theodorus got silent for a moment, putting his hands in his pockets as his step seemed to decrease in speed. The last thing he wanted was for Vincent to be worried when he'd promised him to try his best to fully rest now that he was away from work.

Meanwhile, MC sighed, whispering his thanks to Vincent for dealing with Theo's bad temper as per usual. Napoleon came in to help as well the way he knew best, starting a topic that would grab the others' attention. The group continued to walk, Vincent soon getting lost in his own thoughts as he noted how happy MC and Napoleon seemed to be together, walking hand in hand. Napoleon said something that made her laugh out loud, and Vincent noticed something odd.

"Why are your tongues purple?"

They all stopped talking as Napoleon and MC looked at him and then at each other. If examined closely, the pure terror in MC's eyes was visible the exact moment she came into realization. Luckily, Napoleon was an expert in reading her expressions, but what he had in mind was far from her request to save her from the embarrassment yet to be revealed.

"I had a blue slushy."

MC's face gradually reddened as she mumbled under her breath, "I had a red one."

Vincent widened his eyes, not sure what to think of it. It took him a second or two.

"Oh. OH!"

Theo rolling his eyes in sheer disbelief was the last thing MC saw before sinking her gaze to her feet and swearing to keep it there for a good while, avoiding the others' at any cost.

Just then, Jean who's been quiet all this time, opened his mouth to speak curiously.

"You drank each other’s slushy?"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @leonardoism @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @thehappycat123 @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @theuwuisunreal @ravenarld @kyokirigiri-22 @kimmy-banana @btarinana @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @trishtori @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @judgemental-seal @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @toxiicmoron @delicateikemenmemes Please let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

#ikevamp napoleon #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jean #ikevamp smut #ikevamp fanfiction #ikemen vampire #ikevamp

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silkenstarlight · 4 years ago

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a night in crimson valley

Summary: Reader is a bartender at the Crimson Valley Motel. After she is accosted by a drunk John Walker, a familiar face offers her protection and comfort.

Pairing: Biker!bucky x bartender!reader

Warning/s: language, violence, alcohol use; sorta fluffy end

Word count: 5.6k

Author’s note: I’m unsure whether I want to turn this into a series; please let me know your thoughts!

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Her nose burned with the scent of blood and cheap vodka, no matter how hard she scrubbed.

In the early days, when she had first been stationed at this bar, she had stocked the cupboard beneath the register with supplies. Lemon-scented bleach, candy-blue windex, a dried up tube of wet wipes. Every night before closing, she had tugged on a pair of yellow rubber gloves and gone to work. Rubbing, scouring, swabbing away every spilled shot, every stray fingerprint. The dirt and spit and grime seemed to accumulate instantly, and yet, she continued her sisyphean housekeeping, trying to paint over the bar’s run-down reality with a layer of chemical gloss. But, all of that effort was to no avail; this was a roadside establishment, so there would always be sloppy drunks, and there would, most assuredly, always be bar fights, new stains to replace old. No use in hiding it.

Now, she’d grown numb to it, the cleaning supplies below the register covered in an ever-thickening coat of dust. The once shiny, lacquered surface of the bar now reflected dully beneath the low light, encrusted with old dirt and sour deeds. The floor was sticky, a years’ worth of spilled cocktails accumulating in a tacky glue trap. The mirror behind the bar, its surface cloudy and warped, reflected the late-night debauchery of men in desperate need of respite.

Every night, she wiped foggy glasses with the same gray, fraying rag, watching the same blurred, bearded faces pass through. The Crimson Valley Motel, owned by (Y/N)’s father, was a dependable option for truckers looking for a night away from the cramped quarters and lumpy cots of their vehicles. With its low nightly fares and extensive parking, and her father’s promise of discounted drink prices at the attached bar, customers returned without fail. Even still, she tried not to grow too attached to any patrons. They were just passing through, after all, with separate lives waiting for them beyond the road and the walls of the motel. But, sometimes, she just couldn’t help herself.

Bucky Barnes was one such case.

The first things she had noticed the moment he walked into the bar two years ago were his eyes. Piercing blue, stern and ever-watchful, set beneath the overhang of his perpetually furrowed brow. That first night, he had nursed his whiskey glass with two gloved hands, staring at the bar’s surface as if he were trying to memorize every intricacy and flourish in its woodgrain. She had appreciated his presence ever since, so quiet and watchful, a stark departure from the raucous drunkards and wild military men who usually frequented the Crimson Valley Bar. And, despite the fact that he drank as much as the other patrons, he never seemed affected by the alcohol, his gaze as clear and haunting as ever, even well into the dark hours of morning. It almost made her laugh, his perfect stoicism and strong jaw, the classic image of unperturbed masculinity. But she could sense the ghost of some deep sadness in the downturned set of his mouth. His shoulders always seemed tense, and he continually shifted his weight in his seat, peering over his shoulder every once in a while, as if suspicious that he was being watched. It made her swallow any skepticism about his demeanor, instead deciding that he was likely a very broken man, deserving of the space and quiet his countenance demanded. For that reason, she never asked him any questions, never made a move to satiate that burning curiosity within her. Better to keep a respectful distance than stir up unwelcome memories.

She had never even really spoken to him, and only knew his name because she once caught his signature on a receipt. By the time she read it, he had whisked away to spend the night in his motel room and prepare for departure early the next morning.

Whenever he came back, it was like she could sense his presence, could feel his steely gaze sweeping the bar. It was comforting, a sweet bubble of solace beneath the humming neon and peeling rock n’ roll posters, a space of quiet surrounded by the pressing screech of electric guitar and deep boom of drums. She never knew when he would return, his trucking routes and schedule difficult to predict with such minimal information, but she secretly looked forward to it. Another day, another opportunity to unwrap the quiet mystery of Bucky Barnes.

Tonight, the bar was crowded. Hopeful thoughts of seeing Bucky retreated to the very back corner of her mind as she poured sparkling streams of amber liquid into lines of waiting glasses, shaking and stirring and swirling again and again in the rote, mindless motions that a full house required. She had no room to daydream, not on a Saturday night, when more lonely truckers sought out the bar for company, and when the local military base flooded in on their night out. In a room full of loud men with wanting mouths, she needed to work quickly.

On nights like these, the men mostly left her alone, too absorbed in their own festivities to take much note of her. Beyond the simple “pleases” and “thank yous,” they seemed to recognize that any attempt to strike up a conversation would interrupt her flow and leave her begrudging, frustrated, and not exactly an ideal conversation partner. But, some men couldn’t take a hint.

She had been cutting lemon wedges, concentrating on creating an even slice and avoiding her fingertips with the dull knife blade. She counted each slice before pouring the wedges into a chilled metal bowl, her movements precise and rhythmic. 1, 2. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, pour… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, pour… 1, 2, 3--

“Hey, bartender! I asked you a question.”

She knew it was John before she even bothered to look up. She sighed heavily, placing the knife on the counter and wiping her hands before tilting her gaze upwards.

John Walker was another regular here, but her opinion of him was very different than the tentative infatuation she harbored for Bucky Barnes. To put it simply, she did not like John. Whenever he swaggered past the bar’s threshold, flanked by his two favored cronies, she shuddered. Unlike the relatively polite regulars who frequented the bar, John was demanding, expecting (Y/N) to cater to his every whim without complaint. He was, apparently, a favored recruit at the military base. She just thought he was a privileged asshole. One time, he refused to tip her because she didn’t smile at him when she served his drink. And, another time, he broke his glass on purpose just to watch her clean it up.

Now, he was staring at her, head cocked and arms crossed, expecting an answer to a question she hadn’t heard him utter.

She sighed again, leaning against the counter. “Sorry, John. Didn’t catch your question.” Her voice was flat, lacking in genuine sympathy. “Mind repeating it?”

“Can’t even listen,” he said to himself, shaking his head in disappointment. “As I asked earlier, did you water down my fuckin’ snakebite?”

She stared at him, eyes boring into his cold blue ones, and she thought for a second. She was annoyed by his interruption, but this could go poorly if she didn’t handle it with care. If she said the wrong thing, he could get offended, and she was the only woman in a room full of men. She could hold her own in a fight and had some experience with self-defense, sure, but that wouldn’t hold up against a man with John’s stature and training. She couldn’t predict if any of the other men in the room would come to her rescue if things went south, but she couldn’t really blame them. He was tall and strong, and had a temper to boot. But his fragile masculinity, which compelled him to talk down to her and order such ridiculous drinks as a snakebite, wouldn’t survive if she talked back. So, her decision was made.

“Well, John,” she said, her voice low as she smirked. “Usually, you’re already plastered by the time you make it to my bar. I always have to water down your drinks because you can’t hold your fucking liquor.”

His face darkened, brows drawing downwards in a chilling expression of anger. He gritted his teeth together and pushed back from the bar, motioning to turn away from her and back to his friends. “I can handle my liquor just fine, thank you.”

She cleared her throat, catching his attention. “Actually, just last weekend, you threw up all over the parking lot. My poor Pops had to clean it up.” She chuckled at the memory of her father, grumbling with a bucket and mop in hand, as John sat with his head in his hands in the front office. “You might not remember it, John, but I do. We all do.” The incident had occurred well before closing time, so many of the bar’s customers had seen it with their own eyes. One or two had surely caught it on camera.

“Are you fucking mocking me?” A vein popped out on his neck, his face growing read and hot.

She felt her pulse rise in fear, but she ignored it, hand resting next to the knife on the counter. “Maybe I am.” She leaned forward, leering at him. “What are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about it?” He laughed incredulously, picking up his half-full glass and examining its amber-colored contents briefly before hurling it at the mirrored wall behind her.

She ducked, shielding her face from splattering liquid and broken glass. “Shit.” She dropped onto her hands and knees and crawled, frantically clambering below the bar for the cleaning cupboard. She knew how this encounter would go, but she was starting to realize that she shouldn’t have pushed it. He had never actually threatened her physical harm before, resigning himself to simply being an asshole. Tonight, that had obviously changed.

“Nuh-uh, where the fuck do you think you’re going?” His voice was still loud enough to pierce her eardrums over the pulsating music. He reached down to where she was, grasping for Windex in the dusty, cavernous cabinet, and roughly gripped her hair in his fist. He pulled up harshly, causing an unpleasant sting to radiate down her scalp. The breath caught in her throat.

She had fucked up. Badly.

He wrenched her close, until their faces were just inches apart. He examined her face, his own visage arranged in an unpleasant sneer. She looked straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down, even though she was frightened of what he might do.

“I should put you in your place.” His voice was quiet, only audible to her. She shuddered, lip curling in distaste. The sour taste of bile rose on her tongue at the violating way his eyes scanned her face, as if he were a predator examining his prey. A few patrons were watching, pausing their conversations to watch the show. But, none were helping, jumping up to arrive at her aid. A dark pit grew in her stomach at the observation.

He loosened his grip on her hair and she moved to pull back, but before she could, he spit in her face, a thick, hot wad of saliva landing on her cheek. Her mouth gaped in disgust, nose flaring, and she stepped back, wiping the insult from her face with her sleeve and slipping the knife she had been using earlier into her hand, concealing it behind her back. She retreated until her back was flush with the mirror behind her, eyes flitting wildly, trying to find a gap in the crowd where she could disappear and distance herself from him. But all she could see was his face, his hooked nose and hooded eyes, that awful, sneering expression, as he prepared to jump over the bar and bridge the gap between them.

But, before he could, his head slammed into the bar’s wooden surface with a sickening crack!

Her mouth dropped open in confusion, the rushing bout of adrenaline quickly waning in her veins as she took in the sight of John, head pinned to the counter by a gloved hand. Wait, is that--?

Her suspicions were confirmed when she looked up from John’s floundering figure to find Bucky, his hand firmly wrapped in John’s hair, his face contorted in an expression of rage. She had never seen him like this, nose scrunched, eyes dark. His eyes briefly flickered to hers, and when their gazes met, his face softened slightly, as if to provide her with some sense of reassurance. The breath stalled in her throat, but before relief could flood into her limbs, she saw John stirring in Bucky’s grip.

“What… what the fuck, man?” John turned his head, cheek pressed against the bar’s cool surface, to stare at Bucky out of the corner of his eye.

“Watch yourself, buddy.” Bucky’s voice was gruff and uncaring.

“Buddy?” John scoffed.

“Well, what’s your name, then?”

A laugh rose in John’s throat, bubbling over into a bitter, joyless sound. He was trying to intimidate Bucky into backing off, shifting his weight below him in an effort to distract him.

It didn’t work. Bucky simply pressed John’s face even harder into the counter, until the breath whooshed from John’s lips in a muffled, defeated gasp.

“I asked you a question.”

“Fine-- fine. Name’s Walker.”

“Well, Walker,” Bucky replied, leaning in close until his face obstructed John’s vision. “Keep your fucking mitts off my girl here.”

“What?” She couldn’t help it as the question left her lips in a surprised gasp. Bucky’s eyes flicked up to her again, lips pulling down in an embarrassed grimace, as if he hadn’t meant to call her that.

That moment was enough time for John to act.

Bucky grunted and stumbled back a couple of steps as John pushed out from under him. There was no time to think, no time to act, before John strode towards Bucky and socked him straight in the nose, Bucky’s head whipping violently to the side.

(Y/N)’s heart plummeted into her stomach. She stayed anchored to her spot in front of the mirror, unable to move. There wasn’t much that she could do. Now that John had initiated a physical fight, he likely wasn’t going to stop throwing punches until either he or Bucky collapsed. And with Bucky eliminated as a threat, there would be no one standing between John and her. With that thought, she brought the knife out from behind her and clutched it to her chest like a lifeline. She watched Bucky and John with rapt attention, waiting for the fight to turn back in her direction again.

Blood began to gush from Bucky’s nostrils in a thick stream, staining his lips a wet scarlet and dribbling down his chin. But, he smiled, shaking his head slightly and chuckling darkly.

“You’re really askin’ for it now, Walker.”

Before (Y/N) could even blink, Bucky sprung, landing a jab and a right cross that hit John square in the chin. He grabbed John by the collar and slammed him into his knee, the pure force knocking the wind out of John’s chest with a meek groan. Bucky pushed John roughly into a table and John stumbled, causing a chair to clatter and fall, but he remained upright, leaning heavily against the table.

“You going to fight back at all?” Bucky’s goading tone took (Y/N) by surprise. Why was he egging him on?

John snorted and cracked his neck, trying to shake an encroaching sense of uncertainty from his limbs. He pushed off from the table and began a slow, circling orbit around the center of the room, sizing Bucky up with a violent, wolflike gaze, pushing the other customers flush against the wall. Bucky simply stood in place and watched, trying to anticipate John’s next move.

John stopped circling when he was directly across from (Y/N), Bucky between them. She felt John’s gaze slide from Bucky to her, his eyes languidly raking over her body, sensing out her fear. When he saw the knife in her hand, he raised an eyebrow in disapproval, shaking his head. Her heart pounded, adrenaline beginning to thrum through her veins once more.

John widened his stance and bent his knees, assuming an athletic stance in preparation to tackle Bucky. Bucky imitated his movement, planting his feet firmly into the floor. John inhaled deeply through his nose, once, twice, and then, he took off, running towards Bucky at full speed.

The room watched in silence, holding a collective breath. The only sound was the pounding of John’s boots against hardwood, the music paused long ago.

He hit Bucky with the force of a mack truck. It was enough to knock anyone off their feet, even someone who had fared as well as Bucky in the fight so far. John hit him so hard that they went flying, suspended in the air for a moment. For (Y/N), it felt so much longer, watching her savior struggle against the grip of his opponent in midair, uttering a quiet “Shit!” as his back slammed into the floor. And then, Bucky was still, John crouched over his immobile form, a triumphant smile plastered on his face.

(Y/N) felt her body move off its own accord, pushing away from the wall, past the safety of the bar’s counter, towards the aftermath of the fray. Her legs quivered, a hard lump rising in her throat as she pushed towards the edge of the crowd. She couldn’t see Bucky’s face, his head concealed by John’s hulking body. A shudder wracked her body, her hope waning.

It was like John could sense her presence. He looked up, his sickening grin showing glistening, too-white teeth. She flexed her fingers, adjusting her grip on the knife. John’s eyes caught the movement, sensing the glint of low light against the blade, and he smirked. He was about to rock back onto his knees, to get up and finish what he started, when Bucky’s head slammed into his.

Disoriented, (Y/N) stepped backwards, once again flush with the crowd. One moment, she had been preparing to fight, to let the blood-soaked evening devolve into even more violence. Then, the next, Bucky had suddenly reanimated, an almost superhuman force driving power into his limbs. He bucked John, still reeling from the unexpected headbutt, off of him with an aggressive, thrusting twist. John tumbled and collapsed on the floor next to Bucky, who slowly knelt, then stood, eyes on John the whole time. When John didn’t budge, splayed on the floor with a distant, vaguely dazed expression, Bucky turned his gaze to (Y/N).

The room was dead silent, save for John’s labored breathing and the sound of Bucky’s boots against the hardwood as he slowly walked towards (Y/N). The room seemed to fade around the two of them, the confused, awed, and fearful faces of the spectating patrons blurred together in an anonymous mass. It smelled of sweat and rust and spilled liquor, but she didn’t care, because Bucky was okay.

“Anyone else?” Bucky asked the rest of the room, not taking his eyes off of (Y/N), even for a moment, lest she disappear, or worse. But she didn’t, staying rooted to the same spot, eyes glistening with gratitude. And no one responded to Bucky’s challenge.

When Bucky came to a stop a foot in front of her, the other customers began to quietly file out, afraid to utter any remarks that may provoke another altercation. John’s two cronies picked him up from the floor, hefting his arms over their shoulders and bolting for the exit, his boots dragging on the floor. (Y/N) watched them exit, watched them stuff John into the backseat of their car before they peeled out of the parking lot and took off with the screeching sound of retreating rubber.

“You know,” Bucky said, his voice soft in spite of the evening’s violent course. “You don’t have to worry about using that. You’re safe with me.” He pointed at the knife, still clutched in (Y/N)’s hands.

She looked down at the knife in her hands and then looked up at him, formulating a response, when she noticed that he had a gash on his jaw, as well as a still steadily-flowing nosebleed. The knife clattered to the floor as she reached for his hand. “You’re bleeding.” Her voice was thick with worry, regretting the fact that he had suffered for her sake.

He shook his head. “I’ve gotten worse.”

“Let me help you.” She glanced urgently around the bar, now empty save for the two of them. “I can close up and bring the first aid kit to your room. I owe you, after all of that.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” He paused for a second, considering. “But, sure. A couple of bandaids wouldn’t hurt.”

She smiled. “I’ll be there in ten.”

His brows creased together slightly, a chagrined smile curling his lips upwards. “Oh, I’m not leaving you alone just yet. We didn’t see where Walker went. He could be waiting just outside with those two other guys.”

She knew that both she and Bucky had seen them drive away, but she nodded anyways. “Alright. Just let me grab the first aid kit and my keys.”

“Deal.”

She picked the knife up from the floor and walked back to the bar, placing it gently in the sink. As Bucky walked towards the entrance, surveying the parking lot outside from the small, frosted window, she reached into the cabinet of cleaning supplies, pulling out a rusted, white box with a blaring maroon cross emblazoned on its front. She blew off the thin layer of dust that coated it and stood, grabbing her keys from the hook next to the mirror and joining Bucky at the entrance.

He turned towards her, noting the first aid kit, and grinned. “Room 102, here we come.”

She returned his smile as he opened the door, midnight air washing over them in a brisk, drafty waft. They stepped outside, engulfed in nighttime chill, and she shut the door and locked it, fumbling with the cold metal of the keys. Bucky stepped closer to her, his arm brushing against hers, his body emanating an intoxicating warmth. She welcomed his proximity, wondering if he could sense the fact that she was cold, as they walked across the parking lot to his motel room.

He pulled his key from his back pocket and slid it through the card swipe, the door unlocking with a crisp click. She was looking out at the parking lot, at the trees and darkness beyond, wondering if John and his friends were in fact lurking out there somewhere, biding their time for the right moment to strike again. He was definitely the type to hold a grudge for a night like this. If he didn’t retaliate tonight, he would soon, would let her soak in the fear for a few days and then arrive at the bar unannounced with dues to pay.

Bucky cleared his throat, and (Y/N)’s attention snapped back to him. She looked up at him, eyes wide and surprised, and found that his smile was gentle and knowing.

“You’re safe with me. Come on, let’s get inside. It’s cold.”

When they stepped inside, they were greeted with a welcoming warmth. The door shut behind them. He walked over to the little oak nightstand next to the single queen-sized bed and turned on the bedside lamp, its bulb washing the room in a dim, glowing halo of amber. She sighed, muscles relaxing, seeming to melt into the warmth, into the comfort of being somewhere besides the bar. She placed the first aid kit on the bed and shrugged off her cardigan.

“So, doc,” Bucky teased, approaching her at the foot of the bed. “What’s the plan? How’re you going to fix me up?”

“Well,” she said, squinting as she examined his face. “We’ll have to wash all that blood off first, so I can assess the damage.”

He gestured to the bathroom with one hand. “Lead the way.”

They walked into the bathroom and he flipped the light on, its white fluorescence a stark contrast from the soft light in the other room. She grabbed a bleach-white washcloth from the shelf above the toilet and turned on the faucet, dampening the cloth under the steady stream of water. She turned off the faucet and stepped back as Bucky leaned against the sink, crossing his arms.

“This might sting,” she said quietly, stepping into the space between his legs, his stance framing hers. He simply nodded in response. She tried not to think about their sudden proximity, the fact that she was alone in a motel room with a man who had risked his own safety to protect hers, a man she had been secretly pining over for a while now. Instead, she smoothed the wet washcloth in her hands and brought it up to his face, dabbing gingerly at a stream of blood that had dried on his cheek. When she brushed against the cut on his jaw, he winced, a sharp huff of breath leaving his nose.

“Sorry,” she apologized, trying to handle the cloth with light fingers. “He really got you there.”

“Even if that’s true, part of me thinks I should thank the guy.”

(Y/N) paused. “W-what?”

“Well, he’s an absolute ass. Deserved what he got,” he chuckled. “But now, I’ve got the pretty girl who works at my favorite bar taking care of me. It was definitely worth a couple of scrapes.”

“I--” her response died in her throat, choked by the deep blush that was creeping up her neck. She paused dabbing at his face, looking at him quizzically.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, noting her creased brow and parted lips. “Too soon.”

“No-- no. It’s okay.” She shook her head and smiled, moving the washcloth to his upper lip as she wiped away the evidence of his bloody nose. I just didn’t think you felt that way, too.

After a few more minutes of tense silence, (Y/N) trying to avoid direct eye contact the whole time, lest her blush return, his face was clean. She stepped back and examined her handiwork before throwing the bloodied washcloth in the waste bin and leading Bucky back into the main room. She sat down on the bed, its springs groaning in a rusty bounce beneath her, and she opened the first aid kit, searching for a suitable bandage for his jaw. He knelt on the floor in front of her, placing his hands on the bed on either side of her, caging her in with his arms but refusing to let his touch drift any closer without permission. He watched her fingers flit indecisively between the different band-aid choices.

Finally, she plucked one from its box, carefully unpeeling its wrapping. Bucky tilted his head slightly, allowing her easy access to the cut on his jaw, and she delicately placed the band-aid over it, careful not to press too hard against the tender skin. Her touch unconsciously lingered a moment longer, lightly caressing his face with the pads of her fingers. But after a few seconds, when she didn’t pull away, they both inhaled sharply, his face quickly growing hot. Their eyes met, and she dropped her hands to her sides, his piercing blue gaze boring into hers.

He blinked and stood, walking over to the door and hunching down to glance at the parking lot through the peephole.

“I should get going,” (Y/N) said, voice hushed as she snapped the first aid kit shut. She stood, grabbing her cardigan, preparing to meet the cold outside and run to her permanent room. “Thank you. For everything.”

He turned away from the door. “Hold on.” His voice was grave, a stark contrast to the light, flirty turn of the evening since they had entered his room. “We still don’t know if he’s out there.”

(Y/N) bit her lip and shifted her weight, silently grateful for his hesitancy to let her be alone. “What are you suggesting?”

“You can take the bed.” He gestured to the spot on the carpet between the bed and the door. “I can take the floor.”

“A-are you sure?”

“If I was in your position, I wouldn’t want to be alone,” he said, voice rough and quiet. “But, it’s your decision to make. I can walk you back to your room, if that’s what you’d prefer.”

She thought for a second. She agreed with Bucky’s observation that John may still be out there, lying in wait, and he had been spot-on with the remark that it would be frightening to be alone after tonight’s violence. So far, Bucky had proven himself to be good. She felt comfortable around him. He didn’t try to touch her, and he still gave her options, despite the fact that he seemed oddly protective of her. She knew that he wouldn’t hurt her, that he wouldn’t try to slip into bed next to her in the darkest hours of morning. He was a good man. He would live up to his promise and give her space, acting as a blockade between her and the outside world. For tonight, he would be the promise of warmth, of comfort, of safety.

“I think I’d be more comfortable here. With you.”

“Alright.” He offered a simple reply, walking over to her and taking the first aid kit and her cardigan from her, placing them on top of the dresser. “You’ll be safe with me,” he reassured her, bending down to look her in the eyes when he said it, uttering each word with heavy truth.

She nodded and bit her lip. When she felt her blush creeping back up her face, those stern, icy blue eyes of his fixated on her, she turned away, directing her attention towards the bed, hands smoothing over the covers. She grabbed a pillow, its blanched case stiff and rough from continual washing, and handed it to him. He smiled and took it, humming a low laugh and placing it on the floor next to the bed.

She pulled back the sheets as he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Her eyelids were suddenly heavy, her body absolutely exhausted, but grateful for a safe place to rest after the day’s peril. She felt herself lull into a hypnotic state of rest before she could even pull the covers over her body, listening to the rumble of the motel’s heater and the whoosh of cars driving past on the distant highway.

Bucky finished in the bathroom and tiptoed to the closet. He grabbed the extra blanket from the top shelf, its woolen fabric starchy and coarse, and plopped it onto the floor next to his pillow. Then, he looked down at (Y/N), curled up on the bed, already halfway into a dream. He sighed, a soft smile gracing his lips, and he reached for the blankets on the bed, pulling them up over her sedated form. She shifted under the covers, settling into their warmth, and he turned off the bedside lamp, the room submerged in a sudden, but not unwelcome, darkness.

✧

She woke to light streaming through the gap in the curtains.

The room smelled of lavender detergent and carpet cleaner, and of something distinctly masculine and unfamiliar, the scent of mint toothpaste and rainfall. She stretched, her body grateful for a restful night as memories of the previous day trickled back in. John’s threats, Bucky’s heroism. Her shyness, her inability to tell him how she felt, despite the fact that he so clearly reciprocated those feelings he had hinted at.

She sat up in bed and looked around the room. On the floor next to her, the spare blanket was folded neatly, the pillow she had given to Bucky the previous night stacked on top of it. His duffel was gone from its perch on the dresser. Any trace of him had disappeared, save for the scent that hung in the air and the memories that clung to (Y/N)’s brain.

She sighed, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing up. She had a lot of work to do today. She supposed that she should probably clean up the bar after last night’s incident, and should break open the cleaning supplies that she had left untouched for so long. She wished that she had had the chance to say goodbye to Bucky before he left, a faint sense of longing gripping her throat. But, at least the cleaning would take her mind off of that, for the time being.

As she stood, she brushed through her hair roughly with her fingers, gathering the first aid kit and her cardigan. She surveyed the room one last time, bathed in soft morning light, when a square of white on the nightstand caught her eye.

Brows furrowed with confusion, she walked over, abandoning her things on the bed. On the nightstand was a notepad, an uncapped pen sitting next to it. A brief note was scribbled on it.

Call me if he comes back.

Or, if you need me. For anything.

-Bucky

The message was followed by a phone number.

(Y/N) ripped the note from the pad and stared at Bucky’s slanted, spiked handwriting for a moment, noting the sharp angles and rushed script of his letters.

She stuffed the note in her back pocket and smiled.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes self insert #bucky barnes fluff #fluff #bucky barnes one shot #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fluff #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier fanfic #winter soldier

215 notes · View notes

zhanyes · 4 years ago

Text

19 days pandemic version / living together headcannons

I just want to imagine the boys living together because let’s be honest it’s going to be so chaotic but they deserve each other’s company

P.s. I know nothing about how China dealt with the pandemic so this is purely self-indulgent

- When the lockdown happened they were all at He Tian’s for a sleepover so they were forced to stay there for a few weeks until everything settled

- Mo guanshan kicked up a fuss over it but was actually just worried about his mom being left alone at home

Mo guanshan, already taking note of what to put in the pantry: “THE FUCK YOU MEAN WE’RE STAYING HERE?! NO!”

- Zheng xi is surprisingly okay with staying at He Tian’s for the time being, Jian yi says it’s because He tian has a ps5 (He’s not wrong)

-Mo Guanshan lost all respect for Zhengxi when he said “It could be fun.”

- Both Zhengxi and Guanshan’s parents agreed that they should stay for a bit just to be safe

- Jian yi is a panic buyer and with He Tian’s money they bought enough food to feed an army

- He forgot to buy necessities and Guanshan wacked his ass

Mo guanshan looking at the 9 full plastic bags of groceries: “You’re telling me OUT OF ALL OF THIS, you didn’t buy a single toothbrush?”

Jian yi, a dumbass: “I didn’t know we were having toothbrush for dinner?”

Mo guanshan brandishing a knife out of thin air: “Come ‘ere I’ll show you what's for dinner.”

- He tian is a menace in the grocery store, he’s bought about 4 pots, 2 pans, a new dish set AND knives set, 6 new mugs of different colors (Yellow for jian yi, blue for zhengxi, red for guanshan and black for him; the other two just looked nice) and a dozen of scented candles

Zheng xi, trying to keep Guanshan from committing murder in a grocery: “Why did you do this?”

He tian: “They were in sale! Buy one-take-one!”

Mo guanshan: “WHY WOULD YOU BUY 4 POTS OF THE SAME SIZE?!”

- They make it out of the store and Guanshan vows to never let jian yi and he tian do groceries

- Guanshan mostly cooks for everyone and Zhengxi helps out but jian yi is surprisingly a decent cook???

- He needs to be supervised tho because his attention span is limited to 5 seconds and he’ll forget he was boiling water

- He tian canonically can not cook. He is BANNED from the kitchen after he put sake in a pan thinking it was water

- He tian has 2 guestrooms in his apartment but he locks the other one and assigned Zhan Zhengxi and Jian yi to the other room

- Mo guanshan forces his way into Zhanyi’s room and He tian follows. That’s how all of them ended up sleeping in a single guestroom on the floor with mattresses stacked and pushed together

- Zhengxi introduces them to anime and Jian yi’s favorite genre is surprisingly action with a lot of fighting scenes and Mo guanshan (and He tian) likes slice-of-life

- He tian and Jian yi strays away from animes and movies related to the mafia and Zhengxi and Guanshan never asks, it’s an unspoken rule that those types of stuff are banned

- They have game nights because Jian yi thinks bonding is key to make their friendship last longer (and to avoid having anyone murdered)

- Every board game turns into a disaster. There’s no exception.

The boys playing monopoly:

Jian yi: “THAT WAS MINE YOU DICK! I WAS SAVING UP MONEY TO BUY IT!”

He tian: “Have you tried not being poor? No? Well that’s too bad.”

Zhengxi, is safe in jail and has the most land: “Lmao losers.”

The boys playing uno:

Mo guanshan: “Don’t do it…”

He Tian: “I’m sorry Mo this is the only way”

Mo guanshan: “No please you can find another way…”

He tian: “Goodbye, my love *puts a plus 4 down* Uno.”

Mo guanshan: *unintelligible noises of a loser*

Playing scrabble:

Jian yi: “The fuck you mean gorjeus isn’t a word? That’s what I am.”

He tian: “You’re right, that's what you are. An absolute idiot.”

Chess:

Mo Guanshan to He tian: “You might be smart and winning but I have the power of violence and nothing is stopping me from flipping this table over.”

Word guessing game:

Jian yi: “It’s loud, annoying, depended and cries a lot.”

Zhengxi, guessing the word baby: “Is this you?”

Jian yi: “I- okay yeah that’s valid.”

- Zhengxi is very observant, he knows Jian yi well enough to know when he’s having anxieties about the pandemic, he knows when Guanshan needs some time alone, and when He tian is getting too lost in negative thoughts. He does what he can to help

- His bonding moments with Guanshan consists of listening to pop music and staying quiet

- The apartment is almost always alive and noisy, whether it’s Jian yi suggesting another game or Guanshan screaming about something, He tian takes joy in the fact that he’s with people he cares about

- He’s thankful for the noise after living in silence all alone for a long time. Jian yi knows the feeling of going home to an empty apartment and vows to visit more often with Zhengxi once this is all over (and drag Guanshan along assuming he’s not here already)

- Over time He tian smiles and laughs become a lot more genuine. Once, He tian laughed loudly at something Mo guanshan did and the only thing he can think of is, “Oh shit, happiness looks good on him.”

- Queue gay panic to Jian yi

Mo guanshan: “WHAT IS THIS?!”

Jian yi, remembering He tian doing the same thing yesterday: “Natural selection.”

- Jian yi loves all of them, really, but sometimes he feels claustrophobic from being kept inside for so long

- Zhan Zhengxi always notices, and he would sneak Jian yi up to the rooftop and they would stay there for a while so they can look at the stars, the city lights and Jian yi can breathe easier

- During those times, He tian relishes the alone time he gets with Guanshan, sometimes they talk and banter, but sometimes they just stay quiet and secretly enjoy each other’s presence (they steal glances at each other when they think the other isn’t looking)

- They grew so used to living with each other that they developed a shower schedule and Zhengxi wakes up the same time as Guanshan to help prepare breakfast

- He tian and Jian yi tends to wake up a little later and Jian yi gravitates closer for warmth so they end up cuddling until they’re forced to get up and eat

- Zhengxi takes a picture of them and sends it to their group chat

- He tian has hundreds of pictures of him and Mo, just Mo, the group, Zhengxi and Jian yi, and a lot more stolen shots that he keeps in a separate album in his phone

- He prints out his favorites, hangs them around the bedroom and frames some of them to put it in the living room. None of the other boys have the heart to take them down after seeing how happy He tian looks every time he sees the pictures

- Jian yi asks He tian to share the pictures to him too, he doesn’t print it out but he uses one of the pictures of all of them together as his lockscreen (his wallpaper is a stolen picture of him and Zhengxi He tian took when they were stargazing on the rooftop)

- When everything settles down enough for them to go home, they’re actually reluctant to go

- Still, Mo Guanshan and Zhengxi go home to their families. Jian yi stays with He tian since he knew his mom wasn’t at home anyway, at least this way they’ll both have company

- Guanshan claims (loudly) that he’s glad to get away from them but still video calls with them everyday anyway

Mo Guanshan, in the videocall for the nth time: “I’m SO GLAD. Those were the WORST weeks of my life.”

The others, hearing the same lie for the nth time: “Mhm. Whatever you say, Mo.”

- They have discord sleepovers because they all miss sleeping in the same room with each other (they never mention it but everyone knows)

- Mo Guanshan cooks meals for more than him and his mom and have it delivered to He tian’s and Zhan Zhengxi’s. When asked he claims it’s just leftovers

- Zhan Zhengxi’s body clock is fucked, he grew too used to waking up early so he just went with it and helps his mom prepare breakfast

- They all silently agree that they wouldn’t mind living with each other again in the future (again none of them ever mentions it but everyone is aware)

#19 days #19 days headcannons #jian yi #zhan zheng xi #mo guan shan #he tian #please i just love them all together #in my mind the mafia doesnt happen and they live together in highschool/college #next in line is tianshan headcannons #get ready #this got so long lol #should i make a masterlist

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girlmeetsliv3 · 4 years ago

Text

Violent Delights: One

Violent Delights

(In collaboration with @jooniescupcakes)

Genre: Horror, Suspense, & Psychological Thriller

Pairings: Gang!Jimin x reader ; BTS x Reader

Sypnosis:“These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss, consume.”

Release Date: Sept 29, 2020 @ 8 p.m. (GMT-4)

Word Count: 9.2k

Author's Note: It's finally here! Almost a year in the works, but Violent Delights The Series is finally kicking off. Thank you for all the love, support, as well as critiques the one-shot received. I hope this re-telling can both capture and surpass the twisted charm of the original. I would like to thank Min (@jooniescupcakes) for helping me outline and plot the story and for contributing. I greatly appreciate it. This story will be darker, gore-y, and a lot more twisted than the original. So strap in & happy early Halloween! Trigger Warning: This story contains subject matter not appropriate for all ages. This story contains mental illness, emotional, physical, and mental abuse; as well as abuse of power, manipulation, and toxic relationships. All of which play a big part in this story. It is never my intention to sensationalize or spread misinformation about mental disorders, please take the "medicine" used in this story with a grain of salt. Links to helplines can be found in the navigation of my blog. Lastly, this is a work of fiction and does not portray the character of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

The door slammed shut harshly as Hanbin rushed to bolt it locked, by his side, he tugged an inconsolable YN through the small house. There was very little time until she arrived. He maneuvered his way through the piles of old dirty clothes, the children had long become accustomed to the stench coming from the kitchen, the dust, and grime that covered their home. It’s why no one came over. Not that anyone was allowed over. In the center of the room framed on the wall shined a family portrait mockingly. Hanbin was short for his age, just eight years old, but it allowed him to navigate through small openings and hide in tight spaces. It was a survival tactic.

“Shh, YN. You need to calm down. She’ll be here soon.”

“i-I wuh-wanted to help, Binnie. She was hurt -”

Hanbin pulled on his sister a little too harshly trying to draw her attention, it caused her lower lip to quiver as she tried to hold the tears back. That wouldn’t do she didn’t like it when they cried. “Helping people only gets you into trouble.” Outside, the slamming of a car door could be heard. Quickly Hanbin located the small broom closet and helped YN inside. The jiggling of the doorknob was barely above a whisper, but it rang as loud as the fire alarm in the children’s heads. YN began to hyperventilate knowing what was coming even if she didn’t truly understand why.

“It’s okay,” Hanbin rubs her cheek affectionately. “Just stay inside, be quiet, and don’t try to help.” Just like that he closed the door and locked it. He silently hoped YN hadn’t skipped lunch that day. YN cowered under the old headboards, her only company the dusty cleaning products and cobwebs, the second the screaming started she covered her ears and closed her eyes.

“Miss YN?” The nurse’s bright pink scrubs served as a strong contrast to the muted tones of the rest of the building. YN cast a glance around she was likely the youngest person there, but everyone around her shared a similar air of ennui that YN had long grown to associate with doctor’s offices. Slowly she stood up following the nurse as she guided her through what appeared to be an endless labyrinth of doors. After stopping abruptly the nurse turns around and smiles though it’s evidently rehearsed. “Don’t be nervous, Dr. Kang is one of the best doctors here.” How many times hadn’t she heard that before? YN offers the nurse a smile making sure it is wide enough to crinkle the corners of her eyes. That seems to suffice the woman enough for her to finally knock on the door.

Dr. Kang Daniel was certainly young for his profession, but that provided some relief for YN. It would be nice not to spend almost an hour with someone that looked to have been around when Freud was. “Please take a seat.” He gestures over to a chair in front of the desk and YN notices there is little decoration around the room. It’s also missing a clock, but thankfully she sees Kang is wearing one. YN notes the time: 5:36 pm. Forty-three more minutes to go.

“I apologize that we’re going to have to go through all of this, but its procedure.” He lightly shakes the file in his hand. Most doctors operated digitally now, so that stood out.

“It’s fine.”

“Let’s get to it then. Why are you here YN?”

They went over the usual things and YN was quickly growing a bit bored, her eyes danced around the room as she did find it very strange that it seemed so vacant for a personal office. “Bored?” Her eyes snapped back to his, Kang wearing an unreadable expression. “I apologize for the lack of decor. I recently moved offices, so this will be my last day here.” YN frowned, “I thought I was to be your new patient.” Kang nods, “Yes, but our sessions will be held in my consultation. It’s closer to downtown so you might save yourself the trip.” How does he know I live closer to downtown? Perhaps seeing the further furrowing of her brow Kang speaks once more. “Unless you live far from downtown?” YN shakes her head feeling the tension leave her body just a bit.

Slowly he closes the file and leans forward, resting on his elbows. “I know this isn’t the most comfortable environment. I also know how jarring transfers can be and that they can halt any sort of process…” YN zones out of the conversation having heard it a thousand times since she was eleven years old. The rambling tends to have the same conclusion every single time.

‘I want us to be friends.’

“I want us to be friends or something similar. I know there are some barriers and guidelines in our relationship, but don’t think they aren’t malleable. I’m here if you need me.”

YN mulls over what might serve as an appropriate response, aware that taking too long might ruin the pseudo-friendly atmosphere and she doesn’t want to have any more problems with psychiatrists. “Thank you, Dr. Kang. I’m sorry I’m just a bit nervous.” The sheepish smile that follows afterward is enough to convince Kang. Perhaps he isn’t a bad man but YN has encountered his type far too often: those striving to make a difference. Always trying to make things better. Always trying to help.

“No one will help us, YN. No one cares about us.”

“So let’s move onto your family YN -”

“Actually I wanted to ask you about my medication.” Kang seemed surprised at her interruption but encouraged her to continue. “Dr. Lee only gave me enough medication to last the transfer, so I’m almost out.”

“That won’t be a problem. I’ll be taking you off the medication for a short time anyway.” What? Kang’s attention was now on his computer, not bothering to look at YN in the eye. “I need to run some tests and in order to do that your system has to be clean.”

YN hadn’t been off her medication for a long time. Sure the dosage varied depending on the treatment, but going completely off was unheard of. Especially so soon. “Don’t worry,” Kang smiled. “There shouldn’t be any potential side effects and if there is I’ll give you my private number. In case of emergencies.” What was supposed to be a soothing smile only unnerved YN even more. YN nodded once more though she felt her anxiety begin to swell up in her stomach. Her heart rate speeding up, but YN knew a panic attack wouldn’t do her any favors. It would make her look like an addict and they would lock her up for sure. It’s only a matter of time. Now that the issue had been cleared Kang cleared his throat, “Now what I was saying about your family -”

YN stood up abruptly thankful the minute hand had finally landed one above the four. “It’s 6:19 our time is up.” She gestures towards his wristwatch and an annoyed look masks his face before it went just as quickly as it came. “It appears so.” His hand covers the watch in a motion that could hardly be described as casual. Kang waves her off, “It was a pleasure meeting you, YN. I’ll schedule the tests for Friday and I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“In other news….updates...gang violence…”

YN wandered through the aisles looking for inspiration or something to satisfy her cravings. In her hand lay open her phone just so she wouldn’t have to keep making eye contact with the older woman behind the cash register. The employee peered at her as if YN was one of the dangerous criminals the news anchors droned on about. YN keeps looking over the message her social worker sent her: you have to be there at least a month before I could put in a transfer request. When YN bent down to read the label, she felt the woman lean over the counter. YN rolled her eyes and picked up the packaged bulgogi before grabbing a sports drink and a small fruit salad.

Once she saw YN was an actual paying customer, not a shoplifter, the woman’s expression changed. Her smile far too gleeful for this time of night. “Will that be all, dear?” Her voice too high to be sincere. Nonetheless, YN nods and forces a polite smile on her face. Even wishes the woman a safe night for extra measure. Before YN could walk out of the store, the woman responds with her own form of goodnight. “I would be careful walking home tonight. There’s been a lot of crime recently.”

It is a bit cruel that the second YN exits the store and turns a corner someone begins to follow her. She becomes aware of it instantly, her senses having been trained from a young age to pick up on the small imperceptible changes. Instinct was not to be ignored. The wind became thicker and the streets a little too quiet. YN wouldn’t look up, but if she did, surely there would be storm clouds looming. Don’t acknowledge him. Just keep walking. People like that enjoyed prey. The game. No one wanted to face off against a predator being one. Unless this was a different kind of predator then YN really ought to call the police. For once she was thankful for the pocketknife stored in the inner pocket of her jacket but disappointed that her pepper spray remained stashed in her bag.

Her groceries hung heavy on her arm, but YN was too far from home to attempt to sprint. So she would have to wait it out, YN could take a few punches. Surely whoever it was would become tired after following her for too long. By the time YN had walked ten blocks, she realized that was not the case. The person was still behind her, though there wasn’t much that she could tell much about the person. They were likely taller and considering their persistence they were a threat.

YN could pick up distantly on the booming bass that likely came from one of the many clubs scattered downtown. It meant she was near her house, that she could likely get home. The houses looked familiar she was probably not too far from home. Hope began to swell in her chest until another idea dawned on her. That’s exactly what they want. If the person had followed her this far they wanted to see where she lived. Abruptly YN turned left towards the direction of the main street, she was likely in a back alley of some sort but the bass only got louder so that helped propel her forward.

Towards the center of the alley, YN saw three figures huddled over on the ground. She was too far off to hear what they were saying, but based on their movements it seemed mocking in nature. YN wasn’t able to decipher what was occurring until it was far too late. A man is wriggling on the ground while bleeding profusely from the side of his head while two men stand above him. Blood is spattered on both walls and their clothes are covered in it. There no longer was a presence behind her the real danger now lay in front. In the form of a tall raven-haired man and a slightly shorter blonde - the latter of which YN made eye contact with.

YN bolts down the alleyway in the opposite direction aware that the blonde is hot on her tails. As she rounds a corner she feels him catching up to her right on her before he abruptly slows down. He doesn’t want the chase to end.

56...57...58…

YN counts the streets aware she’s nearing her apartment but isn’t about to lead him straight to her doorstep. In her peripheral, she sees one of the neighboring buildings which contains a doorman stationed there twenty-four hours. YN uses the last bit of her strength to push through the glass doors tumbling at the steps, but the doorman is there to catch her. “Miss, is everything alright?” YN turns around to catch a glimpse, but there’s no one behind her. Though she does note something disappointing: her groceries are gone.

When YN unlocked her apartment door she felt this immediate wave of tranquility hit her. It had taken a while to convince the doorman not to contact the police, she didn't want to be in bigger trouble, but the man had finally agreed after stating he would walk her back home. Once in the lobby, she took the stairs just to be safe. Quickly, she turned around securing all three locks, and headed straight for the bathroom. YN never understood the sentiment behind showers helping unwind, then again she never spent enough time under the water to allow for that. Baths weren't a treat - they were a utility. Like most utilities YN didn't have a lot of available growing up, so she learned to adapt.

Still, it was long enough to let her mind wander to everything that had occurred today. YN wasn't quite sure about how she felt about Dr. Kang, he unnerved her in a way other doctor's hadn't before. Then there was the issue regarding her medication: YN hadn't been unmedicated since she was eleven and that was a time she didn't want to go back to. Then there was the person that may have followed her and the man that definitely did. My head hurts. She rinsed herself and shut the water off, drying herself quickly with her towel. The chase had been real, too real, everything in YN's body had reacted instinctively once she met his eyes. Those dark eyes that had pierced into hers. The blonde man wasn't just chasing YN - he was hunting her down.

But what about the other person? YN hadn’t seen them, but she had felt them trailing after her. However, why would someone do that and especially for so long? The blonde man had only really tracked YN down for two blocks, but even then it felt shorter. The other person simply observed her. Didn’t do anything. Was there even someone there? YN glanced up, catching her reflection in the foggy mirror. The mist had dispersed in some sections, but not others so the only thing she could see were parts of her face. Faltering in her step, she walked forward and pulled the mirror open. Grabbing the white-labeled bottle with her name printed on it.

Habin sits atop the bathroom sink balancing himself. One of his hands gripping tightly to the side to not slip. This has to be done quickly before she gets back from the store. YN holds his legs or attempts to, while Habin finally manages to grab the bottle. “Is it this one?” He sticks his hand out for YN to see. The young girl squints her eyes, “Are they blue and little?” Hanbin looks through the orange tint of the bottle before nodding. “I think so.”

“Do they smell like fruits?”

“I can’t open the bottle YN. I don’t know if they smell like fruit.”

YN nods and Habin notes how hollowed out her face has become. Once round and plump, full of life, now looks as frail as his. “I think those are the ones.” Habin closes the medicine cabinet and cautiously jumps off, the medicine bottle still tight in his hands. “Why does she give them to you?” YN can note the confusion in her brother’s face, she was confused before too. “She says I need them to go to sleep. They help me sleep.” Habin stays quiet before in the blink of an eye he throws the pill bottle against the wall, breaking the seal causing all the pills to spill all over the floor.

“Bin why did you do that?! I need -”

“No! You don’t need anything YN. You aren’t sick, she's just lying to you!” Habin screamed in frustration. He could see the tears starting to well up in YN’s eyes and he felt regret pool in his stomach. “Please YN. You aren’t sick. We aren’t sick. Okay?”

YN took a deep breath, the way her brother had shown her would help stop the tears, the inside of her cheek was bitten harshly until her throat cleared up. “Okay.”

YN looks at the white bottle in her hand considering taking the medicine despite what Kang said. It would just be one more. Just to calm her down. To make sure that what happened tonight wasn't a side effect of going off so quickly. Her hand twisted the bottle cap, but instead of grabbing one and placing it in her mouth, she headed towards the toilet flushing them all away. Though she might not agree with his treatment plans Dr.Kang was a professional and surely knew more than she did. Plus, YN couldn't afford to be transferred again; her social worker might drop her altogether. It’s just until the blood work is completed.

“Unfortunately Miss YN, we won’t be able to conduct any tests until your insurance approves it.”

YN paces around her apartment, phone in hand. “I understand but my doctor ordered it. It’s necessary in order for him to treat me.”

“It appears that the necessary paperwork hasn’t been sent over to the insurance company. At least not enough to justify the exams. You can go through with them, but it will have to be out of pocket.”

YN sighs, running her hand through her hair as the nurse lists off the prices for each exam. A knock disrupts her causing YN to glance at the door questioningly, no one in her building would ever knock on her door. Looking through the peephole, she sees the manager and doesn't know if that makes her relieved or tenser. "I'm sorry can you just give me a minute?" YN speaks to the phone and mutes it, just to be safe. Upon opening the door, a brown bag is shoved in her face.

“Sorry to interrupt dear, some boy left this for you downstairs.”

Just as quickly as he came, the manager leaves. YN quickly shuts the door and locks it, before hanging up the call. The bag looks simple enough though YN hadn’t ordered anything in the past couple of days. Cautiously she opens it and the horror that spreads through her body is instantaneous. In the bag are her groceries from last night, but with minor changes: The red energy drink is now blue, the fruit salad is replaced with regular salad, and instead of bulgogi it is kimchi now. Though it isn’t the food that upsets YN, but rather the pink sticky note placed on top.

To replace everything you lost ;)

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Staying locked inside her apartment for the following days seemed like a smart choice. There was someone out there who knew where she lived. What she looked like. YN was used to being preyed upon, but this was a different game. Not one she was accustomed to. There were enough faded white lines and healed over bones to evidence that she was a survivor. That time and time again YN had faced against monsters and gotten out alive. The thing that terrified her about this monster - was how different he was. She kept waiting for the tall blonde man to show up one night: looming over her whilst she slept, crouching in a dark corner of the room. Lurking behind the shower curtain.

YN wasn’t able to sleep, didn’t bathe, and had thrice rearranged the room so there was no furniture to hide behind. Her paranoia was through the roof and it didn’t help that it had been the first time YN was off her medication for an extended amount of time. Which was bound to be causing more problems than she was aware of, or would like to acknowledge. The cycle continued until on her fourth day, sick of the grime, YN picked up the phone and dialed Dr.Kang’s office. Hoping to resolve the issue and be back on medication as soon as possible.

“Unfortunately, Dr. Kang isn’t in the office today. However, I can schedule a house call”

She hung up, not even bothering to respond to the secretary on the other line. If YN would have allowed herself a moment to feel anything except for fear - sympathy would've been felt for the probably nice young woman she had just hung up on. Maybe I can just sleep until my next appointment. Sleep it all away. So YN crawled into her bed, the covers lie somewhere on the floor. Exhaustion taking over as she drifted off to sleep.

It should've been easier to tell her childhood room apart from all the ones she had before. It had the most personality; if stickers on the wall, old pencil marks, and deteriorating plaster counted. Most of them hadn't even been done by her, but rather Habin in time before her. It created a sense of normalcy in YN's life that didn't exist elsewhere. Of course, her safe haven didn't last long, the hole in the wall right near the bed frame was proof enough. YN couldn't remember the last time she had dreamt, the medication helped with the nightmares, now she stood curled in a ball in the center of the room. The way she would always get once she heard the heavy footsteps approach the hallway.

YN had long learned to tell the different patter of the weathered old sneakers. Heavy stomps that scraped against the wood meant she was going to be screamed at. Rhythmic ones that were heavier on the heel, than the toes meant they might get dinner. While footsteps that dragged meant YN would be getting ignored. It was the ones she didn't hear. When the hallway was so quiet that all YN could hear was the sound of her breathing and the fear rushing through her tiny body - those were the steps she feared. Those were typically followed by the gentle, yet suspenseful pushing of her bedroom door. It didn't have a knob. There was no escape.

YN expected to peer up and see the tall large figure that always tormented her. The thick thighs, rounded hips, a bulbous stomach that spoke of all the meals she'd had - all the ones her children hadn't - and her face. It was much like YN's though much more feminine, older, and eyes devoid of life. It had always stood out to YN when she was a child, though she was certain that if she were to look in a mirror now YN would be the spitting image of her mother. Instead of her birth giver stood a man.

His face was angular, rounded cheeks, and sharp eyes highlighted by thick brows. His lips appeared full as if they were meant for bright large smiles, but it was obvious from the man’s expression he rarely did. There was something strangely familiar about him. An amalgamation of someone she knew and her own imagination, filling in the blank spaces. He looked like her, yet not at all. Tears welled in her eyes, “Bin?” Then he morphed. Now slightly taller, more weight to his frame. A rounded face with hooded eyes, the corner of his lips were tilted upwards in a way that was full of mirth. Dr. Kang faded as quickly as he came.

Now all she saw was a silhouette. Despite being mostly obscured, she could at least tell it was a man. He was lean yet muscular. His body was sharply defined in a way that seemed deliberate. Facial features were obscured, but YN was certain he was glaring at her in a way that caused goosebumps to rise all over her body. Plump pink lips parted moving slowly, tauntingly, but no sound exited them. Only by the smirk formed afterward could she tell their salacious nature. He stepped forward drawing closer to her, but the way he moved was inhumane. It wasn't a walk. But a predator's crawl towards her. Now he was finally in the light, entirely visible but all YN could focus on was the blonde mop of hair atop his head. When he pounced, she screamed.

YN awoke covered in sweat, her hair matted against her forehead and neck. She could still taste the saltiness of her tears and when she finally managed to breathe a sob tore out. Get out! Get out! Get out! If she remained locked inside her apartment for one more second, YN was going to reach her breaking point. Quickly she hopped in the shower before throwing on the first thing she saw and grabbing her wallet. YN didn’t know where she was headed, but her body acted on its own. Locking the apartment door before racing towards the stairs, dashing down all seven floors with little care if she tripped. Perhaps a silent part of her wished she did, it would put her out of her misery.

The lobby of her apartment building, if it could even be called that, was always empty. Never a soul in sight to guard the door, even though YN was sure part of her rent went towards security. Not to mention the intercom system, which allowed people to be buzzed in, hadn't worked for several weeks. It was something she was always acutely aware of but pushed towards the back of her mind. Wouldn't do her any favors to obsess over something she had no control over. Now walking through the desolate lobby out into the night - it was all she could think about. He was all she could think about.

YN took a deep breath and opened the glass doors sneakily peeking towards the sides and being thankful when she noted nothing great. Now where to? She wouldn't go very far nor somewhere unknown. It was reckless to be out so late and would be a death wish to try and enter city life. Gang violence was on the rise and YN didn't fancy herself prepared to face off against someone. So, YN went to the one place that felt familiar no matter what. The convenience store was a fifteen-minute walk, but she took the bus. The original plan was to sit towards the back, where she could see everything, but it wasn't empty. An elderly woman, far too frail-looking to be out this late, sat in the center. Whilst three boys huddled over sat in the back, they must have felt her eyes on them. As one of them - the one in the black beanie - stopped his conversation and turned slightly. Before they could make eye contact YN looked away and sat down.

“Which one do you want?” Habin asked as they stared at the ice cream truck. He had counted the cents twice making sure they had enough. “Hm,” YN eye’s glanced all over the various images glued onto the truck. She already knew what she wanted but had long learned that taking your time was important - not too much though. “Mint choco.” Habin grimaced, disgust evident on his face. “Come on YN. We have to share it. Why can’t we get something I like for a change?” He whined, it was only ice cream but it was the only food Habin was likely to have all day. “Okay, let’s get chocolate then.” YN didn’t really care, she wasn’t planning on eating. Habin had sacrificed enough meals to feed her, an ice cream was the least she could do.

As she steps into the cold building, a small bell chimed to signal her entrance, alerting a young employee near the cashier.

“Welcome!” The boy smiles, wide and welcoming, handing her a basket,

YN didn’t respond. She walks towards the back, looking for some of her usual snacks, and before long, her basket was filled to the brim with all sorts of colorful foods, and she headed towards the till to pay, grimacing under the weight pulling at her arm. As she pulls out her purse, a soft chime catches her attention, making her glance at the door quickly, before trailing her eyes back. A familiar head of blonde flashes in her mind immediately, and despite herself, she found herself clenching her purse tightly, feeling her palms become clammy with sweat. What were the odds..?

“Is that all?” the cheery voice of the employee breaks her out of her trance as she nods back firmly, unable to push aside the nervous feeling from seeing the person walk in. Quickly weighing the options as she sees him bag all her groceries, she forces the question out before she can stop herself.

“Could you...walk me to the bus station?” Her voice was awkward and tight from keeping quiet most of the day, and she internally winced at the confused expression the other gave her.

“Are you..” he pauses, eyeing her carefully, “is someone trying to hurt you?”

YN doesn’t know what to say. Could she tell him what she saw? Fortunately, she didn’t have to reply. The boy - Kai, as it said on his tag - seemed to assume her pause was a yes. Excusing himself, he disappears behind the counter, and within a moment, hushed voices coming from there. Something was unnerving about standing there alone with the blonde, chilling her to the bone, knowing she was faced away and he could pounce at any moment. As soon as the terrifying thoughts crept in, Kai stepped back out. He takes her bag and silently leads her out the glass doors, warm, still air hitting her face the minute she left the building. They walk side by side silently, and YN could only count her steps as she got closer and closer to the station.

Her steps quicken when she sees the familiar structure, tall gray pillars, and a few large buses waiting. Kai keeps up with her as well, not bothered by the bag that seemed to drag her down, looking around carefully.

“Thank you.”

He smiles, what she initially assumed to be his practiced ‘customer service’ smile seemed a little more genuine now. Or maybe he was just very good at it - she wasn’t sure. She takes back the plastic bag, letting herself get used to the additional weight before turning to board the bus.

“Have a safe trip home!” The boy calls out, making her look back.

YN was expecting to see him with his blinding smile, but something eerier catches her eye. The young employee was standing a few steps away from her, and behind him, dangerously close, was the blonde man from before. Her mouth goes dry as she notices his dark gaze fixated on her hand that held the railing inside, something else in them as he cocked an eyebrow. He almost looked as if he was questioning her, asking what she would do now that he was close, much closer, and positioned to attack the boy. Realizing he must have followed her all the way, she felt her heart rate pick up as she found herself rapidly staring between Kai and the perpetrator, the choices dawning on her. She had to choose to leave Kai behind, or possibly die with him.

She felt her heart drop at the calm expression on the boy's face, not noticing the danger he was in, she knew he was young, but watching him now, she only just realized how young. He was so young, so innocent, with a whole life ahead of him - but because of some unfortunate circumstance, an unforeseeable future, he would have to throw everything away.

But if she stayed for him, so would she. She would have to give up everything she had struggled for, while in any circumstance, the blonde would kill Kai, regardless of whether she chose to stay or not. However, she could spare her own life. She couldn’t convince Kai to get on with her without alarming the man, but she could save her own life. After everything she had gone through, trouble was the last thing YN needed. Even if it meant someone else had to suffer alone, she had to stay safe. She found herself holding back hot tears as she quickly ducked into a lonely seat, refusing to look back, still clenching the cheap plastic in one hand and forcing herself not to look back as the tears freely slid down her cheeks.

‘Helping people only gets you into trouble. You do whatever it takes to survive.’

“They tell me you’ve missed the appointment I had set up.”

YN is noticeably tense as she sits in the blue velvet mid-century, her nails digging into the denim fabric of her jeans. “The insurance wasn’t notified,” her tone was clipped. Lower with a slight tremble to it as if it were about to break, but never really did. “I also needed a referral.” Dr. Kang frowned, glancing back down at the file before looking at YN questioningly. “That’s strange. I told my secretary to handle all the paperwork. I even told Joy to hand you the referral.” Seeing the confused expression on his patient’s face, he shrugged. “My apologies, Joy must have forgotten.” The smile he shoots her is sincere, or at least looks so, YN has no reason to doubt him any further on this matter.

Her posture slackens somewhat but given everything that has happened these past few days she finds it difficult to truly relax. YN feels that she is tethering at the edge of a breakdown, but that if she were to fall it would only make her circumstances worsen. There is something that has been bothering her though, how pacified everything has been as of late. The blonde man knew where she lived, he'd likely overheard her name as well, yet nothing had happened. Even Kang, with his cold calculating eyes, had not commented on her odd behavior the last session or how worse she had seemed to get after only being off her medication for a week. Why can’t I figure them out?

“Unfortunately, I won’t be able to assign you any new medication until I have the results from the bloodwork. However, I do want to know how you’ve been feeling lately.” Kang crossed his legs, leaning forward in his seat. “Have you been experiencing any side effects or withdrawals? Anything I should know about?”

There was a glint in his eyes as he spoke, one that warned YN that he may know more than he lets on. As if the man sitting in front of her was single-handedly responsible for everything that had occurred to her recently. "Normal things…" I am being stalked by a homicidal maniac. “Migraines, low blood pressure…” I keep having vivid flashbacks that only serve to increase my paranoia. “Sometimes I dissociate a bit.” Most importantly, doctor, I had a nightmare where you were about to kill me. “And trouble sleeping.” YN looked towards the ceiling, feigning as if she were in deep thought. “I think that’s it.”

Kang Daniel looked affronted as if she had not given a sufficient enough answer. Hadn't given him the answers he wanted. "I see." His eyes darted towards her hands, which had been tightly intertwined on her lap - immediately she relaxes them. When their eyes meet once more she levels with him. YN knows there is no point in engaging with Kang, that is exactly what he wants. To pry. Dig deep. Learn of all her secrets and who knows what else. He won’t win. I’m safe here. YN had suffered too great a loss yesterday, she was determined to win this game.

“I had time to go over your file YN. There’s a lot to discuss, but I would prefer to dive right in if you don’t mind.”

“I-”

“Very well,” She’d upset him. YN wasn’t even truly aware of what she’d specifically done, but it seemed to matter very little. “It states here you’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder - at quite a young age too.

“I was ten.” YN’s voice is muted. Her mind blank.

“Do you agree with this diagnosis?” YN shrugs, her eyes move down to the file. She knows what he’s going to say next. Or she can at least predict it: it typically doesn’t vary. No matter how many times she goes through the same process the words and intentions are the same. It isn’t sincere sentiments, but rather rehearsed lies spewed to make her feel better - as if she ever could. No, YN is broken. No fixing her up.

“I don’t. I think you were misdiagnosed.” YN’s eyes widen as they shoot back up to meet Kang’s. “The main reasoning behind this is because of your apparent lack of empathy, but that isn’t true either is it, YN?” Her mouth felt dry, she struggled to swallow the saliva building up. There was a build-up of breath in her lungs which was starting to become painful and she felt her throat tighten. “It’s a survival tactic. An effective one at that - if I may be honest.” So many thoughts were rushing to the forefront of YN’s head. So many memories. Stop. She wanted to scream. Please stop! She felt like she was going to throw up. Kang bent over, his face so close to YN's that she could see how dilated his pupil was: only leaving a sliver of his iris shines through.

Why is he doing this?!

“You feel something YN. It’s okay to feel things. You aren’t with your mother anymore anymore. You aren’t with your brother anymore. You’re safe and I know the next time something happens you’ll do the right thing.”

YN’s eyes were red, brimming with unshed tears as Kang’s words bounced around her head. “Dr. Kang -” She chokes, a sob threatening to escape, but the man doesn’t allow her to finish. “Our time is up. Pick up your referral at Joy’s desk. I will see you on our next appointment.” The smile given is full of sadistic glee.

YN didn’t know how long she had spent wandering around the city. Last she knew she had passed the bus stop and convenience store from last night. If she were smart YN would’ve gone back to her apartment. She didn’t want to though, not trusting herself to be alone. It had been mid-afternoon when she had left Kang’s office. Now it was pitch black with only a few people walking down the streets and cars passing by. Her phone was tucked away in her bag, YN couldn’t muster up enough energy to reach for it to know her location. The tears she shed had long ago dried, though their evidence remained clear to see on her face due to the streak marks and reddened nose.

Several voices were speaking to her, memories, all pulling her in different directions. One by one, YN blocked them out until only three remained. Her brother’s: “You’re not sick.” Dr. Kang’s: “You’ll do the right thing.” Lastly, the faintest one of all - hers: "What do I do?" She had muttered it without realizing it. A cry for help that traveled through the wind, searching for an answer or a sign. She would be granted one.

The scream was so loud, it tore straight through the foggy haze that had settled in her mind and YN found herself frozen in place. Glancing upwards, she noted that a few feet away to the left was an alleyway. That was it, wasn’t it? Yet her feet wouldn’t move. Her brother’s voice echoed so loudly that it barely allowed her to breathe much less move. Until, a stronger, much more powerful one broke through - “It’s okay to feel things...I know you’ll do the right thing.” Her feet were moving before YN had even a second to dwell on her decision. The alleyway was, deceptively long, but YN could see several silhouettes just from the entrance. Quickly she dug her hand into her bag and pulled out her phone, dialing emergency services but hovering over the call button. YN didn't even know where exactly she was - nor did she know what was going on either. It wouldn't do well to just rush in, thankfully about ten feet inlay a giant dumpster which YN crouched behind.

Another scream echoed off the brick walls, a cacophony of laughter followed it. There’s more than one. YN had hoped it was a robbery or something simple, now she realized just how in over her head she may be. You can still walk away YN. Just walk away. Cautiously YN moved to sneak a glance. There was a singular lamp attached to one of the buildings that illuminated most of the alley. The faint light didn't allow her to make out specific features, but it was enough for her to bear witness to the disturbing scene. Seven men were standing all loosely crowded around a young couple: a man and woman whose bodies were severely bruised and beaten. The man's skull was cracked open with blood profusely leaking from the side of his head. Several teeth were scattered on the ground and his hand was tightened around his abdomen which seemed to have been cut as well. The woman beside him had most of her clothing ripped and large bruises on her side, an indicator of broken ribs. Her eyes moved deliriously as she muttered to herself.

YN’s attention lay entirely on the victims until she witnessed a crowbar fly through the air and land on the man’s leg, with a sickening ‘crack’ that had YN feeling nauseous. The man was too out of it to do anything but let out a small howl of pain. Her previous assumption had been right, there were seven men: all standing there with blood-stained clothes and mocking the man. There was something familiar about them, but YN couldn’t pinpoint what. All of them cheered as the man’s now dead body slumped to the side. Her phone had been long forgotten, YN observed everything now with a morbid fascination. Taking advantage of the perpetrator’s lack of attention the woman stood up slowly and bolted, her heels clicking loudly on the pavement and alerting them their prey had gotten away.

None of them moved - they simply observed her and YN watched in shock. Why aren’t they chasing her? Would they actually… By now the woman was only a few feet away from the entrance, she passed by YN and must've caught sight of YN's hunched over the figure for the woman's head snapped towards her. Causing both women to miss the figure dashing in their direction until it was too late. The woman was harshly tackled to the ground, her head bouncing off the pavement in sickening motion. There is a glint of something in his hand before a dagger plunges into the young girl's body multiple times. In a desperate move, she extends her hand reaching out towards YN begging for help but YN remains frozen. Eyes wide and teary as she cowers as close as she can to the wall, shaking her head she begs the woman not to speak. Begs her not to draw the perps attention. Please don’t!

“Please help me.”

The perpetrators head snaps towards YN and she finally sees him. He's tall, lean figure, plump lips, cat eyes, and ruffled blonde hair. The blood splattered across his face revealed the dark truth behind his angelic features. His dark hooded eyes trail across YN's body, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. The blonde man looks like a predator savoring its next meal. Before he can pounce YN takes off running, unfortunately, he captures her with ease. Caging her body against his own, pillowy lips part and it dawns on YN she has never heard him speak before.

“Caught you.”

Just like that their game has come to an end, surely YN’s life will too. The two of them are so enraptured in each other, they don’t notice the figure slowly standing up and grabbing the abandoned knife on the floor. Not until the blonde man’s body sags slightly and YN notices the woman standing behind them. Don’t. She wants to say, furious that the woman wouldn’t have run away - escaped when she had the chance. For YN couldn’t bear another dead body on her subconscious. The blonde man turned around with pure rage steaming off his body, upset that his prey would dare to fight back. His arms gripped her head and with the slightest flick of his wrist, he broke the girl’s neck. When he turned back around to face his prize, he was shocked to find her expressionless staring at the corpse right in front of her.

YN came to a disturbing conclusion: She wouldn’t have died if she hadn’t helped me. As she once again made eye contact with the monster before her, all YN could see was her reflection in his eyes. Hanbin was right.

The man stepped forward and YN stepped back, crashing into the wall. His hands gripped at her sides, nails digging into her flesh harshly. He was formulating a plan, thinking about how best to kill her - YN could see it. It seems the universe had decided to take pity on her, or further condemn her, for just as his eyes were beginning to light up, the rest of the group made their presence known. “Jimin let’s go. The fun’s over.” Jimin? There was something familiar about that name.

“Funs not over yet, boys.” As if she weighed nothing, Jimin grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. YN struggled against him, aware that if she couldn’t handle one man, there was no way she could survive seven. “I finally found my pet.” What? When Jimin finally put her down, his arms encased her again showing her off to his friends as if she was some shiny new toy, they could look at but not touch. As YN glanced at them she found she recognized some of them, they’re from the bus. At that moment she realized that death had been following YN for a long time and even if she hadn't stepped into the alleyway tonight, their paths would have crossed eventually.

“Ah, so you’re the girl Jimin’s been obsessed with.” The tall tan one with curly dark hair spoke, his low baritone voice was mocking in nature.

“She’s not that pretty.” muttered another one, with rounded eyes and a tall nose.

“Now, come on kookie. Don’t be mean, she’s a lot prettier than what we’re used to.” The third man’s tone was higher pitched, lips stretched into a heart-shaped smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“What do you think we should do, Namjoon?” spoke the light-haired one dawned in all black. His eyes darting over to the tallest member, his platinum hair shining brightly in the dark alleyway.

When Namjoon spoke it was deliberate and calculated, his eyes boring into YN’s, his words dripping with implication. “We should take this one to go.”

Distantly YN could hear the wailing of sirens rushing towards them before Kookie stepped forward and delivered a right hook to her face, making her lose consciousness.

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years ago

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The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

#swtor #lana romance meme #subterfugeverse #mildly n/sfw #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana #since this is a lana meme i'm not gonna throw this in koth's tag but i will put it in their shipping tag for this blog #also yes lana/anri is going to be an eventual thing in subterfugeverse; even if i haven't worked out the specifics of *how* yet #because i'm sorry but there is *WAY* too much subtext in that lana/anri interaction and my dumbass polyam brain went ''hehehehehe :'3''#so GODDAMN IT I AM GOING TO USE IT lol #bioware can pry this ship from my cold dead fingers #watch me i'll turn the alliance into one big fucking polycule if you let me /lh #some of these i haven't gotten to plan out solidly yet so i had to think on the spot #and as such the specifics might be subject to change as we *GET* to those parts in the actual fic ''canon''#but for now here ya go ;D #long post

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sanakoreanlangblr · 4 years ago

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2021 Goals

Heyy! I’ve decided to put my goals for this year here, hoping that that might motivate me further, and maybe motivate someone else as well. Good luck everyone! And please take extra care of yourselves and your health, mental or otherwise! Everything else can wait.

This year has been difficult for all of us. As for me, even now, the upcoming semester is a big question mark. Currently I’m studying in France, and this semester I was supposed to go on an exchange to Taiwan buuuut that’s not happening anymore, as it has been cancelled. So per my school’s requirements I need to find an internship in the place of expatriation, which is a pain now. And that basically just means I have no idea where I’m going to be in the coming year or what I’m gonna be doing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, needed to complain for a bit, as I am going absolutely insane with the stress…

Anywayyyy, I still hope I will be able to uphold most of these goals, wherever I will end up. I tried to not make them overly big, so that I won’t get burned out too fast. But I have a whole year for those, some of these have dates for which I could expect to finish but I will not keep to them very strictly. Whatever happens, happens :))

Also, sorry if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language!

Korean (A2 -> B1)

1. Do 100 lessons of grammar from the HowToStudyKorean website.

I’ve started a few grammar books but in the end decided to settle on this website as I like its explanations best, and it provides the most example sentences when introducing each point. A nice touch is also the fact that it includes a list of a number of new words before each chapter, which gives me some new vocabulary to learn :)

So far I’ve divided the grammar points introduced in lessons into „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and turns out I have:

66 „to learn”

35 „to revise”

32 „already know”

So if I did 3 points a week, I should be done around August.

2. Read 2 little stories per week from “Easy Korean Reading for Beginners”.

There is 30 stories in the first one (I already did 5), so I should be done by the middle of April.

3. Do one chapter per week from “My first hanja guide”.

I just got this book for Christmas and haven’t had the time to fully go through it so we will see how it goes.

4. Do Anki at least three times a week.

Every day would be preferable but I know that would last like a week at most.

5. Have iTalki lesson at least once a week.

That one is not a problem as I have been doing one or two per week for the last year, but I would just like to keep it up.

6. Try writing at least twice a month, and at least 2 pages.

Yeahhh that one is a bit of a bother, as writing still takes me a long time so we will leave it a twice a month and see how it goes.

7. Watch one youtube video per week on Korean grammar or vocabulary.

Generally I would say my goal is to use Korean more, as I know quite a lot but when I’m speaking I tend to go towards the easier words and grammar, which is why I am thinking that writing more could help me. And also I really want to focus on learning vocabulary as that’s always been a pain for me, I’m more of a grammar lover :))

French (A2 -> hoping for upper B1/ beginning of B2)

1. Finish the intermediate grammar book. I’m currently doing „Grammaire Progressive du Français” Intermediate edition, for A2/B1.

The problem is that my grammar knowledge of french is a mess , so going through this book is a bit of an annoyance, as most chapters I technically know but each time I find some nuance I wasn’t aware of... therefore I need to go through it, even the chapters I would have assumed I know :|

So I divided the chapters the same way I did Korean, into „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and I ended up with:

14 „to learn”

34 „to revise”

4 „already know”

So technically if I did 2 points a week, I should be done in June.

2. Read the two french books I got for Christmas (“Les aventures d’Alice au pays des merveilles” and “Le tour du monde en quatre-vingts jours”).

3. Read at least two of the Harry Potter books in French.

I have started the first one this week, and I can tell it’s gonna be a very very slow process. It’s the first book I’m reading in french so it’s a bit difficult and frustrating but hopefully it’ll get better as I go along.

4. Watch at least 4 french movies, with french subtitles.

5. Learn a french song.

6. Read one story per week from „French Stories for Beginners”.

These are quite easy, but they are a nice practice for switching to books later on.

I don’t know if I’m gonna keep this one in, depends on how much my reading of actual books will progress.

7. Get to point 5 on the Duolingo tree.

I use Duolingo mostly as a revision tool, so I’m not really going to focus on it much, but still want to keep it up.

8. Watch one YouTube video per week (on any topic).

9. Listen to two podcasts per month.

10. At least one iTalki lesson per week.

11. Do Anki at least 3 times a week.

I really need to listen to french more, as I’m good at reading and I usually understand that pretty well, and I’m not the worst as speaking, but I am absolutely terrible at listening :| So that’s a priority.

Chinese (tbh I don’t know...end of HSK1/Beginning of HSK2 -> let’s say the goal is HSK3 for this year)

1. Finish the book „Integrated Chinese”

I’m having a tough time to pick a book from which to learn but I guess for now I’ll continue with that one.

Again, I divided the points in the book to „to learn”, „to revise”, „already know”, and ended up with:

47 „to learn”

11 „to revise”

15 „already know”

So doing 2 a week I should be done in July.

2. Learn 15 characters a day

I am way behind on learning characters.. I remember the words well but I didn’t put enough time to learn the characters at the start and now that’s gonna be a bit annoying to catch up on :|

3. Finish the drama „Go Ahead”.

4. Watch 3 Chinese movies, with both English and Chinese subtitles.

5. Have one Italki lesson per week.

6. Learn a children song in Chinese

7. Watch one youtube video per week on grammar.

8. Do Anki twice a week.

Generally focus more on characters. My speaking isn’t terrible (well besides the tones), but I need to work on the grammar a bit more as I seem to mess up the structures quite frequently. I need to put more work outside of my lessons. Since I found out I’m actually not going to Taiwan this semester my motivation has fallen a bit, but on the other hand I now have more time to prepare for fall, at which point I will hopefully be able to go!

Personal

Read 20 books.

I have always loved reading but in the past two years the amount of books I’ve read has gone down, which upsets me a bit… On the other hand the amount of fanfiction I’ve read is tremendous, so there’s that. However I would like to make more effort to read this year, especially since I’ve accumulated a huge pile of books over those few years.

2. Workout regularly.

Right now I’m at home, so that should be easy to do. I don’t really know what’s gonna happen this semester, so we’ll see what I’m going to do about that later.

3. Eat better.

Meaning: cut down on sugar, eat more veggies and fruit.

4. Get a bit closer to my ideal weight

I’m not necessarily focusing on that this year as the previous one has been hell and really managed to deteriorate my mental health back to high school levels... but still hopefully working out a bit and eating less sugar, more veggies, I will be able to lose a tiny bit of weight. But overall I just want to focus on being a bit healthier.

5. Clean out my wardrobe

Sorry that’s a silly one but I’ve been getting to it for half a year now and I’m just too lazy to do that... maybe once I put it here I will have some motivation

6. Take care of my face and hair

So my sensitive skin hates wearing masks and needs extra care these days I need to really focus on it and baby it, to not go back to the awful red mess it was two months ago

As for my hair, I have kind of 3a curls which I haven’t been taking care of properly and plus I damaged them with hair dye (still I refuse to give up ginger hair, I blame Merida). So now during lockdown and quarantine season I finally had some time to read up on hair care of curls, and honestly after a month I can already see the difference, and well I hope for the best :)))

7. Get a tattoo

It’s something I’ve always put off since I either didn’t have the money or time. And now again both are problematic, so I will wait for the decision until I know what my school semester is going to be like. Maybe this time I will find a good moment! (Although honestly saving up for travelling after all this is over is also a great idea :))) )

8. Don’t go to sleep at 5

Yeah so during lockdown and because of online classes my sleeping schedule got so messed up I don’t even know what to do about it anymore. And while my goal isn’t to switch it to 10 pm, cutting it to 2 am at max would be nice

9. Watch 25 movies

10. Sell/donate the things that I don’t need

I’ve accumulated a huge pile of books, movies, CDs, Xbox games, art products - that I need to get rid of - and I’ve been saying that for like three years now, about the same pile of things. I will try to do that one this year!

I hope everyone’s 2021 will be a ton better than 2020! Keep fighting!

46 notes · View notes

tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

Text

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (7/17)

Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: I was busy with fic exchange pieces for a while but will be focusing on updating my multi chapter fics now. As always, feedback is very much appreciated :D

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 8

Link to cross-postings: AO3

“So you’re Levi Ackerman?” The woman who had just entered the room looked excited. Too excited.

After being kept waiting that long, Levi was in no mood for anything, especially unnecessary pleasantries. For the past thirty minutes at least, he had been sitting on the couch of a quaint office. It was spacious and there was at least enough room on the couch to elevate his knee comfortably. Probably the reason he had the self control to give a curt nod in reply.

“I’m a fan! I watched a few of your events actually and I’m so glad to have you here,” she said too enthusiastically. She paused for a second and shook her head. “No, I’m horrified about you being injured which caused you to end up here but I’m just really excited to get to know you.”

Levi didn’t feel the need to reply.

She walked to her desk and dropped her canvas bag before sitting on the couch in front of Levi. “Sorry for being a little late. I just came out from another meeting and went out to get something to eat after. Maybe I could give you my number and you could text me if you get here before I do.�� She took a post-it out of her purse and scrawled a few numbers on it and slid it towards Levi.

Shouldn’t you have my number? Somehow it was hard to believe that she was a counselor. “Name?” Levi asked.

“Shela. Just call me Shela.”

Levi had met those types of people before who go by nicknames. More often than not, he couldn’t blame them, usually they had a very old fashioned or embarrassing name behind it. He couldn’t believe someone as transparent or excitable as her who didn’t look like she had much control of her filter, would have issues about how embarrassing a name was though.

“I have a very old fashioned first name.” Shela added, only confirming Levi’s suspicions. “Shela… Sierra - Hotel - Echo - Lima - Alpha.”

Levi typed the name on his phone and saved the number.

Last Name? Academic History? He set the rest of the details aside. As long as he knew her name, he could probably get through enough sessions to at least keep both his coach and Erwin satisfied. Going to a counselor was not his idea after all. It was his coach apparently who had requested it and it was Erwin who had pushed for it. Without twice a day training or even the freedom to go wherever he wanted without being completely exhausted within hours, Levi had not much of anything else to do anyway.

Shela brought out a notebook from her purse, opened it to a bookmark paged and wrote something on it before looking up at him. Levi couldn’t help but note that when she wasn’t looking ashamed or overly enthusiastic and she did look like she knew what she was doing.

“I’m going to skip the question of ‘what brings you here’ because I think we all know why you’re here.” She gestured her pen towards Levi’s leg. “Let’s start with something simple. How are you? How are you feeling today?”

“My knee hurts and I can’t train anymore. But I’m focusing on studies now so I think I’m doing okay.” He answered, having prepared that script in his head the thirty minutes he spent waiting for her.

“I’m not asking how you’re coping. I’m asking how you’re feeling today.” Shela’s piercing eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. The serious look she gave him then bore into him. In fact, it felt like it bore into his soul.

Despite the generally bad first impression she gave him, Levi was somehow convinced that she was qualified to do that type of work and his showing up there might turn out to be worth something after all. Levi found himself almost hypnotized by that look she gave him, a healthy mixture of concern, interest and professionalism.

Hiding and watching his words felt pointless and Levi found himself saying his answers as his brain came up with them.

A Tale of Two Slaves

The hospital where he was slated to have his next sessions was that same hospital he had stayed in a week ago. Conveniently, it was a five minute walk from where he had been staying since he got out of the hospital: Hange’s apartment.

Just until I can walk up stairs. Levi had told himself. There were many dormitories clustered around campus yet he had ended up staying in the least handicap friendly one. The first floor had a lobby and a common room and the actual bedrooms were only found at the second floor and the third floor. To top it all off, there was no elevator. He had to note though that it was an old building with only three floors so it would have been useless to put one.

He was on scholarship and it was assigned to him back in first year so he did not have much of a choice. He didn’t need to think too much of it either that past three years of college since he had never been injured enough to the point of being unable to climb stairs

With his leg completely immobilized and a deadweight, Levi was sure it would be a nightmare to brave that everyday. The paperwork and legwork required to change dormitories in the middle of the semester seemed daunting as well. In the end, Hange had offered to let him stay over in her apartment.

Her condominium was spacious, it had an elevator and it was walking distance from the hospital where he’d have both his counseling and physical therapy sessions.

Walking Distance. For non handicapped people, it should only take five minutes to walk the two block distance from the hospital to the apartment building. Levi took ten minutes to clear it and by the end of it he was exhausted and despite the chill of mid autumn, Levi found himself sweating as he arrived in the apartment.

It was a Friday afternoon, a week after he was released from the hospital. Nobody was pressuring him to go back to school yet. His professors had been kind enough to send him lecture slides and give him extensions. Some classmates had dropped their own summarized notes and get-well messages.

Levi settled on his bed and propped his knee on his pillow, looking through the lecture slides of his last class. Despite his self imposed week long isolation, Levi just wanted to go back to normal life.

But it never will be normal again. Although Levi did see a glimmer of hope in the possibility of feeling normal again when he went back to school, the realist in him knew it wouldn't happen.

Levi was supposed to be in the process of accepting at least that it would never be the “normal” he used to have and had taken for granted. Something inside him was rebelling the process though.

If I can't live the life I want, then I won't live at all. That something screamed inside him.

That form of rebellion left Levi with little energy for anything else. His mind was slower. His body was heavier. He was seeing little reason to move beyond the mechanical and primal movements needed to survive.

As if by magic, his body that used to carry him over two meter tall bars, suddenly felt like it weighed a ton. The weight crushed him everyday. At times Levi found himself unable to breathe. That was he found himself in that same position for sixteen hours a day, either sleeping or staring at the same white ceiling above him.

In fact, the only time he had left the Hange's apartment was for that one counseling session Hange had prodded him to go to. That was the only time she had forced him to go out of the house as if she herself understood somehow the comfort and at the same time the panic that came with a self imposed isolation.

What else was there to do?

He was alone. He had kept to his own bubble in college, only flitting between the two islands of academics and trainings.He was always either busy or exhausted and the lack of in-between had given him little time to reflect on the state of his mental health. And suddenly he had lost one of his islands, the bigger one, the one that had given him meaning the past few years. That had left him completely and utterly lost. Maybe even desolate.

That was what Shela had pointed out in their first counseling session as Levi attempted to articulate the emptiness inside him, the slight panic that came with idleness, the sudden need to turn off all message notifications and the frequent mood changes that came with Hange's entering and exiting the apartment.

And his weird dependence on Hange.

In between studying for his three subjects that semester and icing his bum knee, what else was there to do? Wait for Hange to come home? Talk to her during that one to two hour window when she wasn't working on her thesis? That was what his life had ended up revolving around anyway.

Levi found himself only replying to anything related to studies or graduating. He had received a few messages from others, suggestions to visit training, offers to visit from teammates and he had ignored them all. Somehow, the reminder of the loss of the one hobby that had kept him busy for the past decade of his life, was mocking. He became someone who waits, someone who just went with the flow of everyone's schedule. Having been busy his whole life, having been constantly needed and looked for and only recently, having been reduced to where he was, Levi felt his life was just a series of wrong choices, wrong choices that only formed a distrust with himself and consequently a refusal to engage in activity.

What else am I supposed to be doing? Levi opened his laptop. For a moment he had tried to go through his school notes at Shela’s advice.

After less than an hour of halfheartedly reviewing his notes and forgetting it soon after, Levi had exhausted his already scarce energy. With nothing else to do, he had decided to move to scrolling through timelines which displayed little to no signs of real life obligations, pinterest and reddit to pass the time. Within an hour of just scrolling through both, he had gotten tired of it too. It was a new feeling. Usually he could drown himself in hours of social media and timelines but at that point, nothing was interesting to him anymore.

Have you tried writing out how you feel? Shela’s suggestion echoed in his head. Like maybe get a journal. It’s a great way to process your thoughts and emotions.

What’s there to write. Levi asked himself and Shela’s voice as it echoed in his head. Levi could only stare at the blank screen, his emotions too non-existent to write. The blank document he had opened in front of him was the best representation of his thoughts and emotions already.

There are no right or wrong answers. Shela had brought up another good point during their session.

You think, therefore you are. You feel therefore you are. As long as you’re processing images, sounds and sensations, you’re thinking. You’re feeling something and you can write something down.

Then why do I feel so empty? Levi had asked.

Shela had compared it to a false bottom. As he continued to stare at the blank page in front of him, Levi was starting to feel for that false bottom in his mind. It was a matter of discipline more than anything, determination to dig into one’s self.

It could have taken hours but as Levi looked at the time on his laptop, he realized much time hadn’t passed. In fact, the time to the lower right of his screen, was still the same. But Levi was starting to think differently.

He did have something to look back on. Stories he hadn’t thought back to in a while, having been occupied by training, Hange’s tests, studies and recoveries. They continued to taunt him in the mornings. With the magic of worldly obligations, Levi had managed to set them aside.

His motivations particularly lay in the fact that his world was a little bigger, he was talking to more people and the idea that these same people he was seeing were the same ones he’d been writing fictional stories for had him questioning his own sanity and had him a little self conscious about having those dreams in the first place.

At that moment though, his inability to think and feel beyond that false bottom had Levi more alarmed and he found himself attempting to articulate those dreams on the word processor just to experience a semblance of something.

Levi at least confirmed one thing, that bottom was false. And the more he articulated those dreams, the more they became real. He was starting to scrape on that false bottom and the first things that were oozing out were dreams. Somehow, the dreams were more vivid that he had ever remembered them to be. He felt almost guilty for having set them aside like some sort of fair weathered friend.

“Hey not bad! Is that homework?”

Levi tensed up in surprise. He should have been able to hear the familiar footsteps and the jangle of the keys from his place on the sofa bed. He never missed it once. Levi didn’t know if he should be proud that he had distracted himself enough not to consider Hange or terrified that she was right behind him at that moment, probably reading through his work.

He quickly closed his tab and looked at the time on the lower right. It was only five. Hange usually went home at seven.

“You’re early,” Levi commented.

“It’s my apartment. I can choose when to go home.” Hange answered. “Anyway what was that? Are you writing?”

“A journal,” Levi explained. There was not much point in lying.

“Did the counselor tell you to do that?”

“Yeah. Something about processing emotions and thoughts.”

“It’s a good exercise. Especially since you seemed pretty out of it recently...” Hange trailed off.

Levi looked back at her and noticed a flicker of what looked like guilt in Hange’s eyes before she looked away.

“Out of it?” Levi knew what she was talking about. He just felt the need to keep the conversation going.

“You spent the past weekend just lying in bed. I never even saw you look through your phone or open your laptop. ” Hange explained. “I’ve seen how these types of things develop so... So yeah, I’m just so happy to see you so focused on something else.”

“I don’t really have much else to get into other than school.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Hange said.

Levi bit his lip, instantly regretting that last sentence. Hange averaged two apologies a day which was a lot given the fact that they only ever had a two hour window to talk in between Levi’s long hours asleep and Hange’s long hours on campus.

“It wasn’t your fault. I was kinda going crazy too...With the jumping I mean.” He added. “And I was the one who decided to make that last jump in the first place. And now you have to change your whole thesis topic.”

“It wasn’t too difficult. Just one week building a new proposal. It’s still the same case study, it’s just I decided to document a recovery. Erwin’s unconventional methods with the recovery makes it worth documenting.”

“At least I’m still useful somewhere,” Levi commented wryly. Hange had explained the thesis to him over the weekend. He should have been relieved at least to know that they weren’t separating anytime soon. Surprisingly though, he wasn’t even happy to hear it. Everything around him just seemed too bleak to celebrate anything. Good news that used to make him smile and celebrate internally suddenly only made him feel a slight sense of relief, the equivalent emotion of seeing a wet floor sign in an area with slippery floors.

Hange sat on the sofa bed next to Levi and looked towards him. She took a deep breath. “I know with what’s been happening, it looks like you don’t have much going for you. And I know things seem pretty dark now but things will get better. You just have to keep living.”

“I’m still breathing.”

“You know what I mean,” Hange said. “When I get up in the morning you’re asleep. When I get back we talk for an hour and half the time it’s just me talking. You barely even answer when I ask what you want. This past weekend I didn’t even see you look through your phone. It’s like you’re practically dead.”

“What else is there to do. I can’t show up for training. My professors aren’t asking me to go back to school soon.”

“Find a new hobby? Continue whatever thing you’re writing. Enjoy the food I bring home. Laugh when you see a funny meme. Or you know, at least smile and do that nose blowing thing people do when you show them a funny meme..”

“My teammates are preparing for the new season. My classmates are at least all caught up in class. I spent too much damn time on that fucking sport. Now that it’s all gone, I feel like I’m just going with the flow of life instead of actually swimming,” Levi said, having taken that last part from Shela’s book.

“Everyone is just going with the flow of life. We’re all at the mercy of time anyway. Live for yourself. See joy in the small things at least. Look at me, I’m simping for athletes like some idiot in between studies.”

“Live for yourself? You follow people’s orders a lot for someone who gives this type of advice.”

“It’s not obeying people. I’m just asking questions and seeking advice. The more relevant facts, information and experience you have, the better the decisions you can make right. So can’t I argue that having more information at my fingertips makes me freer? ” Hange gave Levi a knowing and playful smile

He could tell by the look she gave him that she expected something in return. It was a rhetorical question though, maybe even a premature victory lap for having won that argument. Levi silently looked back at his laptop, not wanting to let her win.

Hange broke the silence. “Okay now that we’re on the topic of asking questions... who’s that Squad Leader Hange Zoe you’re writing about?”

A Tale of Two Slaves

Levi could not pinpoint the exact moment he decided for certain that squad leader Hange Zoe was real, when he decided for himself that the stories he was writing out should have been real.

It came as a gradual decision after incessant questions from Hange that at first, he was determined not to answer. Hange was smart about it, keeping the questions as things that could be answered with one word, and before he knew it, he was giving her too much information, it was pointless to blatantly refuse. After he had answered her more than enough questions, she smiled.

“Looks like you got my personality down,” Hange commented. Levi somehow knew her enough to tell there was no judgement or obligation in that voice. In fact, when he looked into her eyes, he saw that same wonder, he had seen many times before when she witnessed the jumps.

That wonder only carried over from questions on the squad leader to questions on his dreams and finally, to questions on how he wrote his dreams out.

“How do you see the world?”

“How do I see the world?”

“Like what type of camera angles do you see the world in. If I asked you to imagine a tree, what kind of tree do you imagine? Do you imagine it from top to bottom, from trunk to top? Our minds are the most creative producers and cameramen you can think of.”

“Do you notice how well our body blends sensations? When the light turns off then on, there’s a split second where you see shapes when your eyes adjust from light to dark?”

“What are the physical manifestations of emotions? Do you feel your stomach drop? Do you ever get that tingling feeling in your legs and suddenly they’re jelly?”

Did you ever witness something so beautiful that you wish you could live forever just so you could never forget it?

The conversation was a little deep and a little too philosophical for him. It was a ploy to get him writing and maybe a ploy to get him to understand the same wonder she had in the world from what he could tell. Somehow he needed it. The way Hange had described the world, the way she had described reality, only made the line between what could have been his imagination and his memory a little more distinct.

It was around then did he look at Hange Zoe the medical student to see the squad leader from his dreams. Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe and every single one of the soldiers in these dreams. They weren’t just dreams or manifestations of an exhausted mind.

In another life, she could have been real. The angles at which he saw the world, the way his body processed those sensations in his dreams, the manifestations of those emotions, too vivid even more vivid than a catharsis from a good book or a phenomenal ending to a TV show.

The questions continued to echo as Hange turned off the lights and Levi lay in bed awake. That food for the thought left Levi hyper aware of his surroundings, all the way down to the small details --- the way every piece of thread on the bed covers beneath him pressed on to him, the way his breath made a sound in the utter silence late at night no matter how much he tried to quiet it, the way the palpitations in his chest could be felt all the way until his head. He was excited to sleep, dream and take stock of his dreams yet he was too excited to fall asleep.

Like a five year old the night before their first field trip, Levi did not fall asleep anytime soon.

A Tale of Two Slaves

Nobody really questions the logic of dreams.

Sometimes one can find themselves only a few millimeters tall on top of a giant donut. Sometimes they can find themselves having milk tea with their favorite celebrity. Dreams are more felt by the moments they bring to people, not by the logic. It was only natural Levi did not question much of his dreams then.

That night as he lay awake, Levi made the conscious effort to live in his dreams, to take note of every detail from the sights and sounds, to the smells, the emotions, repeating to himself the questions Hange had asked earlier that day. What he had failed to consider then, was the context of dreams.

Were Hange and the others okay?

He found himself on the battlefield and he knew exactly what had to be done. In front of him was a large furry creature which the military had dubbed the Beast Titan and around him were other naked humanoid creatures called titans.

The Beast titan was flinging rocks at them and the soldiers were dying at an alarming rate.

Commander Erwin Smith ordered a suicide mission. All surviving soldiers were to rush towards the Beast Titan while Levi flew from the side of the walls and snuck towards him.

He knew what to do. The movements were natural and Levi had flown before, the gear on his waist had only made the whole mission easier. Somehow, on the battlefield he had the luxury of stock knowledge.

That stock knowledge was what had him slicing through the arms, through the eyes, through the achilles and finally through the nape of said titan. He pulled out a blonde man and pushed the sword through the man’s mouth.

He could feel his blood boiling. From anger? Of course, the man had killed Erwin. For a second, Levi had managed to get a view of the blond commander as he flew from the wall slashing titan after titan. He knew the man was probably dead.

But there was a way to revive him. There was a serum.

Before Levi could give it a second thought, a duck billed monster tore into his view and---

Levi sat up and screamed. He found himself in no hurry to dodge that duck billed titan. He was in Hange's apartment, too injured to be flying in the air in those contraptions anyway. He ran his hands through his body and up to his face, taking stock of his reality. He didn't reek of titan blood nor was he covered in it. He scanned the dark room, or at least what was visible given the moon was his only light source.

Somehow, those few moments as captain Levi had felt so real, watching the moon from his place on the sofa bed seemed almost dreamlike.

Which one is my reality? Levi found himself questioning it all. As quickly as the questions came, they were answered. All he needed was one stimuli, strong enough to root him back into his reality.

"Hey, bad dream?"

The dark room and his own state of mind had made it difficult for him to notice that Hange had settled beside him. That voice though had pulled him out of his trance and he became certain at least that he was not dreaming anymore.

"Yeah," Levi managed to say. At the least he still had control of his voice.

Hange sat cross-legged next to him. The moon was at a perfect angle to illuminate her face and even in the dark room he could see it. Her eyes were looking right at him as if she were studying him a little too seriously.

She brought out one finger to his eye and pushed at the corner. That was when Levi felt it. The small tear spread on the corner of his eye and dried up within seconds. Levi only hastened the process by wiping it himself.

"I'm not leaving you tonight."

"Why?"

"I'll take full responsibility for this. It was my mistake that got you into this in the first place.”

"I've had them before. This is nothing new.” Levi argued. As Hange lay on the sofa bed next to him though, he realized he didn’t want her to leave. His body froze as if understanding that emotion, unwilling to accommodate the protests, the impulse inside him to argue, to force her to go back to her room.

The sofa bed was at least big enough for both of them, wide enough for a comfortable one to two feet space between them. Hange had made sure as well to lie on her side, only widening that space a little more.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this but I swear I really do mean it every time. I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked as she said it.

Levi only continued to stare at the ceiling above him, listening to her disturbed and hitched breaths next to him as if she was holding back something. He didn’t want to look to his side, not wanting to further aggravate a reaction he sensed was raring to come out of her or to further tighten that knot which had settled itself on his chest. His dim surroundings only illuminated weakly by the moon, did not help at all.

Levi lay awake for a while longer, scrambling for words that could placate her.

This is nothing new. It hadn’t worked.

I’m fine. But he wasn’t.

Things happen. Had he not given that same consolation so many times before?

Eventually the rhythm of her breathing evened out enough for Levi to guess that she had fallen asleep, and as if by some special force, Levi found his breathing slowing down too. He was starting to relax.

The apartment was dark and quiet. It was peaceful, so peaceful that Levi never did notice when exactly he was pulled back into his dream. The dimness of the apartment was gradually replaced by the dimness of the forest a long time ago. The distant sounds of passing cars gradually replaced by the crackle of a fire and the rustle of leaves on a windy night.

He was surrounded by trees. A broken wooden cart lay to the side and a few feet away from it a campfire.

The soft and even breathing next to him stayed though. The same exact pattern, the same exact rhythm, the same hitched breaths--- all signs of the light uneasy slumber of his companion.

That was all Levi needed to hear to have sworn nothing much changed about her.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levihan fanfiction #fanfic

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bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture · 4 years ago

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Chapter three! I already skimmed through it and just. Holy fuck I’m falling in love with this series all over again, and this is just the opening arc, how the hell is this so good??? I’m genuinely just in awe and fuck is it making it hard to decide where to have a cut-off point for this chapter. I suppose we’ll just have to see what fate decides.

(Also, the temptation to just paste in all of the last three pages of the chapter is so incredibly strong, you don’t understand.)

[No. 3 - Entrance Exam]

We start off with some exposition: UA’s hero course is designed to give students all they need to go pro, and is the toughest and most popular hero course in the country, with only a 1 in 300 acceptance rate. Discounting the four slots that are recommendation students, that’s 36 slots a year, which is about…

Yeah. That’s a lotta applications, and that’s just for the hero course!

Several alumni are mentioned: All Might, who declined the people’s choice award; Endeavor, who’s stopped more crimes than anyone else in recorded history; and Best Jeanist, who’s won the Best Jeanist award eight years running. (One of these things is not like the other~ One of these things just doesn’t belong~) The exposition suggests that graduating from UA is basically a requirement for becoming a great hero - something which we’ll learn soon enough isn’t quite true.

But yeah, Endeavor with the record for crime handling, even above All Might. Quite the impressive hero, though that face…

Not precisely reassuring.

So yeah, Izuku here mentions the date of the exam - February 26th. I figure that this has to be a Sunday, for the simple fact that Japan has a slightly different school schedule than us. Most notably: Japanese schools (some of them, anyways) have 5.5 day school weeks. Yes, that means the first half of Saturday can still be a school day.

While I couldn’t confirm for sure whether this is more common among the higher end schools, I feel like a school like UA, with its ‘Plus Ultra’ motto, would definitely be a school to have a half-day (or even a full day) on Saturdays, and since they also have to accomodate for middle schools that have Saturday morning classes, I figure that it would make the most sense for UA to schedule this exam on a Sunday.

The benefits of this, as we’ve already seen, is that we can then narrow down the timeline for the rest of the series, just based on that single, confirmed date. We know from the last chapter that the Sludge Villain had to happen on a Thursday or Friday of the first week of school (April 14th/15th), with the first training session two days later (the 16th/17th). But what this also gives us is when Izuku’s first year of UA starts, AND the possible years it could start on.

Since we see the glowing baby is in a modern hospital, we can assume that’s correlated to about our times. Give it a few generations, and we can guess that we’re in the 2200s or 2300s for the current era. Based on that assumption, we get the following years that have February 26th on a Sunday:

23rd century potential years: 2204, 2209, 2215, 2226, 2232, 2237, 2243, 2254, 2260, 2265, 2271, 2282, 2288, 2293, 2299

24th century potential years: 2310, 2316, 2321, 2327, 2338, 2344, 2349, 2355, 2366, 2372, 2377, 2383, 2394, 2400

As a side note, when I got into the series, my brain weirdly latched onto the idea that this had to all be happening in the year 2317. I don’t know why I decided on that number, but that’s what I rolled with, and hilariously I could be RIGHT about the year the current manga arc is happening in, provided Izuku’s first year is in 2316. Sometimes you just know, ya know? I know at least one other friend made these calcs independently of me and chose to run with 2237, which is totally valid! Probably makes more sense to be in the 2200s, but there’s room depending on how much time one thinks has passed.

As for when Izuku’s high school school year starts, we know that Japanese schools start on the second Monday of April. Since we don’t know if this is a leap year or not, we’ll end up with two dates, but that’s fine!

Feb 26 (Sun) -> Feb 27 (Mon) -> March (6/5, 13/12, 20/19, 27/26) -> April (3/2, 10/9)

Therefore, Izuku’s first day of classes (not counting the orientation, which I’ve seen a few other timelines assume is on the Sunday before classes start) is April 10th (or the 9th if a leap year)! I know this is all in the future from this chapter, but still, I wanted to share this at some point and figured now was as good a time as always.

Math!

Sorry, I’ve just wanted to share this math I did for a while now, I put a lot of work into it and I am very proud of it. Let’s get back to the chapter.

So Izuku lives a 40 minute train ride away from UA, and has made it just in time for the exam. Apparently, this is only the practical portion? Or well, that’s the part that gets focused on in this chapter, with no mention of the paper exam. I would imagine they’d be the same day, though? But I suppose one can do whatever they like with it.

He’s standing there looking at the school, thinking about how he didn’t have a chance to test the power, while the other students head in-

Excuse me, Toga?? I know that hairstyle is just a bit off, but… ???

...right, anyways. Izuku is wondering whether the hair really did anything (also, it was apparently sour, which, ew.) Katsuki comes up behind him and tells him to move aside.

Truly a flattering image. Izuku panics a bit and greets him, but Katsuki just walks by without another word or gesture, leaving Izuku confused as he watches him head on into the building. The narrative notes that since the villain incident, Katsuki hadn’t bothered Izuku, while the unnamed characters in the background apparently recognize Katsuki from the ‘sludge’ incident (well, not shocked how the fandom held onto that name).

Izuku notes that he’s gotta stop flinching instinctively, and then tries to hype himself up, noting that it’s not like before, and think about the past ten months while taking a wobbly step forward- and then tripping over himself.

I’m sorry Izuku just has so many fantastic faces in this chapter I am crying trying to limit myself to just a few. But yeah, that little derp as he realizes what’s happening is adorable, especially while Ochako gently sets him back on his feet. She mentions that it’s her quirk, and apologizes for using it, but that it’s a bad omen to trip and fall. (I wonder if that gets played with again during later parts of the series… will have to check to see.)

While Izuku freaks out over talking to a girl, Ochako notes that the exam is nerve-wracking, and then heads off while wishing both of them luck as Izuku stares after.

This fucking kid. I love him so much. His flustered excitement gets him some weird looks from the others still outside.

We transition to a new character (Present Mic) who immediately shows off his performative side by calling for a ‘hey!’ which… is met with silence from the crowd. He doesn’t let this throw him off, instead letting them know that he’ll present the guidelines for the practical, followed with a ‘YEAH!’ that gets met with an even heavier silence.

Izuku and Katsuki are seated next to each other, with Izuku descending right into excited muttering over Present Mic and how he listens to his radio show every week. Also with the assumption that all the UA teachers are pro heroes, which I mean, true, but still. Katsuki tells Izuku to shut up.

Present Mic explains the test: ten minute long ‘mock cityscape maneuvers’, with the applicants split among seven arenas, labelled ‘A’ through ‘G’. With more than 10k applicants total, that’s about…

Yeah, more than 1500 per arena. Fucking hell, no wonder the robots deplete so quickly in only a few minutes. Also of interest:

“Bring along whatever you want.” So technically, if Izuku were able to procure the tech and training to handle the robots, there would be nothing keeping him from getting into UA quirkless… though I imagine any kid who gets in mostly on tech probably gets side-eyed… though if said kid made their OWN tech, they might also get an offer from the Support department.

(AU where Mei accidentally took the heroics exam and got a shitload of points, but she ended up taking the offer for Support instead despite setting the record for most points in said exam. Katsuki forever wants to fight her. Izuku and her are good friends.)

Also, another thing I love is how Katsuki just told Izuku to shut up a moment ago, and then:

He’s the one to initiate conversation on the details of the test, basically agreeing on the reasoning behind dividing up the students between arenas. Katsuki is annoyed at not being able to crush Izuku, which has Izuku awkwardly silent.

Also mini-Mic.

Poor, poor Mic. He just wants audience participation. Anyways, he continues on to explain the points system, with the help of cute little Mario-themed silhouettes. There are three kinds of faux villains, with different points awarded for defeating each based on their difficulty levels. Also, attacking other examinees is prohibited!

A student (cough Tenya) raises their hand to ask a question, going on to note that the handout sheet appears to have four varieties of villain, and that such a blatant error (if it is one) reflects poorly on Japan’s top academy. He then spins around and points at Izuku, calling him out for his muttering and how distracting he’s been, and that ‘if this is some sort of game to you, then please leave immediately!’

Is that… Mineta seated behind Izuku? I can’t find another panel that disproves that theory, so. Whelp. If you ever for some reason want to have Izuku accidentally deal with the grape early, he’s right there.

Anyways, Present Mic brings the convo back to the initial question/comment, noting that the fourth villain is worth zero points, and is more of an obstacle. He then brings up Super Mario Brothers, the old retro game, and compares the Zero Pointer to a thwomp. There’s one per site, serving as a gimmick that’ll rampage in close quarters. Tenya thanks Mic and apologizes for the interruption.

And so we get our final words from Present Mic:

??? either he's referencing the original guy (which I think would be a misquote because I doubt OG Nap ever noted anything like that) or some French hero or the like who took on the name.

Discord offered this to me while putting together the post:

So there you have it. Tentatively confirmed.

Those EYES man, dude’s got the Rinnegan going on.

Honestly, I have to end on this panel just because of that last line from Present Mic. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the exact point to end on.

The discord’s takeaway from this:

#chapter 3 #opening arcs #readthrough #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #yamada hizashi #iida tenya #I seriously cannot believe they actually said 'break a leg' while Midoriya Izuku was in the area #like talk about tempting fate #and that little bow #like 'yes sir i will do my best to break a leg'#'in fact i will break both legs AND an arm'#'Plus Ultra!'

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tomhiddlestonfanfic · 4 years ago

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A Step Too Far? Chapter Two The New Secretary

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9

TITLE: A Step Too Far? NUMBER OF CHAPTERS/ONE SHOT: 2/? WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Stepfather Tom OTHER CHARACTERS: Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott PAIRING: Tom/OFC, Benedict Cumberbatch/OFC GENRE: Drama SUMMARY: A step too far; when you’ve gone beyond acceptable limits… Nina is a twenty year old girl with a problem; she’s painfully attracted to her stepfather (Tom Hiddleston). One day, she finds porn on his computer with girls looking a lot like herself, and she can’t help but wondering if he feels the same sexual attraction to her as she does to him. That same day, Tom has a very attractive colleague over for dinner (Benedict Cumberbatch). One thing leads to another and Nina finds herself becoming their new secretary. Will her flirtatious behaviour be kept in check or will she end up taking things a step too far? FEEDBACK: Please, give feedback! AUTHOR’S NOTE: Thank you for reading! Just let me know if you want to be on the taglist for this story.

CHAPTER TWO The New Secretary

Nina smiled as she was shown her desk at the office. She was actually going to work there, like a real grownup, rather than sitting at home trying to figure out what to do with her life. She was really excited about her new job and paid close attention to everything her precursor was telling her. She was determined to do well, to show Tom that he was wrong about her.

"Hello, Nina at Odinson Enterprise, how can I help you?" Nina answered her first phone call. She was instructed to answer in either swedish or english depending on which phone that rang. She had answered the swedish phone, but the woman on the other end was speaking english.

"Hello, this is Sophie, Ben's wife. I would like you to leave him a message for me," the woman at the other end of the phone said.

"Okay, Sophie, what's the message?" Nina asked, grabbing a pen and paper.

"Could you tell him to pick up my parents at the airport at twenty past three, their flight number is seven hundred and six. Tell him it's important," Sophie requested.

"Of course, Sophie. Was that all?" Nina wondered.

"That's all," Sophie replied.

"Have a good day," Nina said, a bit unsure how to finish the call.

"Thanks. You too," Sophie replied politely.

"Thank you. Bye," Nina said.

"Bye." The phone hung up and Nina was almost shaking with excitement at how she had managed to finish the rather simple task of taking a message. Now she just had to present it to Benedict, or mister Cumberbatch as she was now required to address him when in the presence of others.

"Andrea," Nina said excitedly. "I have a message for mister Cumberbatch, what do I do?"

"You check the diary and try to find a good moment to deliver the message to him," Andrea said helpfully and showed her the diary.

"Seems like he's a busy man," Nina noted as she looked through the day's schedule. "Will he even have time to pick up Sophie's parents at the airport?"

"Let me see," Andrea offered and looked at Nina's notes. She went ahead and opened Tom's diary. "Tom could take the meeting at three."

"Okay, good," Nina replied. "So when do we inform them?"

"You can inform them now. Ask Tom first if he can take the meeting, and then inform Ben when you know for sure," Andrea instructed.

"Okay, thank you, Andrea," Nina said appreciatively and headed towards Tom's office. Andrea cleared her throat.

"Don't forget to bring him his ten o clock coffee," she reminded her.

"Oh, thank you. Do I bring Ben coffee as well?" Nina asked insecurely.

"He usually takes his coffee nearer to eleven on Mondays," Andrea replied.

"Oh God, it seems like I have a lot to learn," Nina commented as she scribbled down the coffee times in her little notepad.

"You're a quick learner, you'll do just fine," Andrea assured her. "By the end of the week, you'll be more than ready to take over for me."

"Thank you, Andrea," Nina said appreciatively, beginning to feel as though she might have been overconfident with accepting the job on such short notice.

Nina grabbed the cup of coffee that Andrea had prepared for Tom and went to knock on his office door before opening it.

"Hi, Tom," Nina said with a smile as she walked inside his office, leaving the door half open behind her.

"Hi, Nina. Thank you very much," Tom said courteously as she sat the cup of coffee down his desk. "How's your first day?"

"Informative," she replied in swedish, unable to come up with the english word for it.

"You could say enlightening or informative," Tom said helpfully. Nina smiled. They often did this; helped each other with finding the right words when speaking each others' languages.

"It's been very enlightening, thank you for asking. How's your day?" Nina asked.

"Busy as always," Tom told her with a slight sigh.

"About that, we were wondering if you could take today's three o' clock meeting," she asked.

"I'm sorry, but no. I can't, because then I won't be able to make it to your mother's ultrasound," Tom replied.

"Is that today?" Nina asked excitedly. "Are you going to check if it's a boy or a girl?"

"That's for your mother to decide," Tom told her with a smile.

"I'll let Andrea know you can't make the meeting. See you around," Nina told him breezily and left his office, feeling excited about the baby. "Tom couldn't take the three o' clock meeting," she informed Andrea. "He's going to an ultrasound."

"Oh, right. I completely forgot about that," Andrea said embarrassedly and instinctively touched her own sizable abdomen at the mention of the ultrasound. She opened a third diary on the desk. "Let's see if Andrew can take it," she said and Nina went up to peek over her shoulder.

"Looks like he can move the paperwork to some other time and take the meeting. Why don't you bring him a cup of tea and ask him?" Andrea instructed.

"Oh, okay," Nina replied and grabbed the cup of tea that Andrea had somehow found the time to prepare in between all the other tasks and phone calls. With a growing sense of nervousness, Nina walked up to the door and knocked. She waited for a response before carefully opening the door. "Good morning, mister Scott," she greeted him politely. "I'm Nina and hopefully I'll be your new secretary starting next week."

"Oh, hi, Nina. By all means, feel free to call me Andrew when it's just the two of us," he told her mirthfully.

"Okay Andrew. I have a little question for you. Could you take Ben's three o' clock meeting today so he can pick up his parents in law at the airport?" Nina wondered.

"What did I have planned for three o' clock?" Andrew asked.

"Paperwork," Nina replied.

"Right, I do have a lot of paperwork to do. But I'll do it, if you could do me a favour, Nina," Andrew said cagily.

"What is the favour?" Nina asked.

"Could you stay behind today to help me with the paperwork? Of course you'll get paid for it," Andrew requested.

"Sure. I don't really have any experience, but I'll do my best," Nina told him.

"All the more reason for you to do it. You could use the practice," Andrew replied and smiled appreciatively as she put the teacup down in front of him. "Thank you, Nina."

"You're welcome," Nina replied before taking her leave. 'He said yes,' she mouthed at Andrea who was on the phone and made the thumbs up to her. Nina walked up to Benedict's office with the note in her hand and knocked on the door.

"Come in," came his voice from the other side of the door. Nina smiled to herself as she opened the door and shut it behind her.

"Good morning, Ben," she greeted him cheerfully.

"Good morning, Nina," Benedict replied with a smile as he averted his gaze from the computer screen. "How's your first day at work?"

"Enlightening," Nina replied with a smile. "But I feel like I have a lot to learn."

"You'll do just fine, I'm sure," Benedict assured her.

"I sure hope so," Nina said. "I have a message for you from your wife," she added and handed him the piece of paper.

"Nice handwriting, it's easy to read," Benedict commended. "Don't I have a meeting at three?"

"You did, but Andrew said he could take it for you," Nina informed him with a smile.

"That's great. Thank you," Benedict said appreciatively. "Could you please bring me a cup of coffee?" he requested.

"Of course," Nina replied and instantly went to fetch him a coffee. When she came back, he smiled at her as she put down the cup of coffee on the desk in front of him, making sure to show off her cleavage in the process. “There you go, mister Cumberbatch,” she had practiced and was now able to say his last name with a straight face.

“Thank you, miss Andersson,” Benedict replied in a businesslike tone. She grinned at him in response.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked, gently touching his shoulder.

"Actually, I was wondering if you could stay behind today and help me with some paperwork," he requested.

"I already promised Andrew I would help him, but maybe tomorrow?" she offered.

"Tomorrow is good," Benedict agreed and Nina smiled before leaving his office. She threw a glance over her shoulder and caught him indiscreetly checking her ass out. She winked at him before shutting the door.

The day went by quickly since Andrea constantly kept her busy with various tasks. There were a lot of things to learn, such as the three men's busy schedules and about their habits and preferences.

"Tomorrow will be easier," Andrea assured her once the working day had come to an end.

"I still have to help Andrew with some paperwork," Nina remembered and sighed as she reached into her bag for yet another energy drink.

"You drink a lot of those," Andrea remarked.

"I need them," Nina said defensively.

"You're addicted to them," Andrea smiled.

"I probably am," Nina agreed with a shrug.

"How about tomorrow, you try drinking coffee instead," Andrea suggested.

"Just coffee?" Nina questioned.

"Just coffee," Andrea replied.

"Now you're being too hard on the rookie," Nina complained.

"At least I'm not worse than Andrew who asked you to work late on your first day," Andrea told her. "Don't forget the laptop, most of the paperwork is digitalised."

“Right. See you tomorrow,” Nina replied.

“See you tomorrow.”

Nina bit her lip nervously as she approached Andrew’s office. He was the only one left there except for herself. He was handsome. He was about the same height as Nina, had friendly brown eyes, brown hair and an expressive face. When he was happy, his entire being seemed to light up, and when he was angry he looked like a thundercloud. She had seen him angry once during that first day, and that was when he came back from a lunch meeting. As she knocked on the door, she hoped to find sunshine Andrew on the other side.

“Hi, Nina. Are you ready for some paperwork?” Andrew asked her from behind the desk. He looked tired, but he seemed to be in a good mood.

"Sure. Can I get you something before we begin. Tea? Coffee?" Nina offered.

"No thanks, I'm good," Andrew replied with a smile and motioned for her to sit down in the chair in front of his dark wooden desk. Nina sat down, put her work computer down and looked at him expectantly. "I think you're supposed to open the lid first," Andrew told her humorously.

"Right," Nina said with a blush as she opened the lid, put it on and typed in the password on the computer. She felt a bit awkward around Andrew. He was very charismatic, but she hadn't noticed him looking at her the way other men had throughout the day. She probably wasn't his type. "Has Andrea shown you how to file records yet?"

"Briefly," Nina said.

"Here, I'll show you," Andrew offered and walked up behind her, leaning over her as he showed her what to do and how to do it. She felt the scent of his musky cologne, and swallowed slightly as she thought about how attractive he was. She hadn't really tried flirting with him, because he seemed so serious about his work. But now he seemed more relaxed than before.

"I think I've got it now," Nina finally told him after a few minutes' demonstration of the filing system.

"Show me," Andrew instructed and Nina successfully filed a record. "Great. Keep going and I'll answer some mail. Let me know if you have any questions."

Nina kept filing records until Andrew finally announced that they were done for the day. She let out a sigh of relief and got herself ready to leave.

"Do you want a ride home?" Andrew offered as they left the building together.

"Sure, if it's not any trouble," Nina said.

"Not at all," Andrew smiled. Nina made sure to show off her cleavage as she got in the car, but noticed that he was not interested in the least. "Perhaps you should wear a top with a higher neckline tomorrow, your breasts are almost falling out," he remarked amusedly.

"They are?" Nina asked and looked down at her breasts. He was right, they were nearly bursting out of her bra and top. "Damn it, I must have gained weight," she muttered to herself as she examined her body.

"You're beautiful and definitely don't need to worry about your weight, Nina," Andrew assured her with a sympathetic look in his eyes. "Don't become a slave to unhealthy ideals," he advised as he started the car.

"Easy for you to say, you're a man," Nina muttered. She felt close to tears as she was disgusted by her own body.

"Don't be sad, Nina. I find you very attractive, I just don't swing that way," Andrew told her in an attempt to comfort her.

"Are you saying you're gay?" she asked with a frown.

"Yes," Andrew affirmed.

"Thanks for telling me," she said appreciatively.

"I shouldn't have to tell you that in order for you not to get sad," Andrew said honestly. "What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't look for men's affirmation so much. You are great just the way you are, no matter if someone is checking you out or not."

"Thanks, Andrew. I really appreciate you saying that," Nina replied with a sad smile. "I'll wear more appropriate clothes to work, I don't want anyone to think I'm not serious about this job, because I am."

"After all that filing you did today, you can't be anything but serious about this job," Andrew praised. "If you want an idea about what to wear, just look at what Andrea's wearing."

"Maternity clothes?" Nina asked, causing him to laugh.

"You know what I mean," he said.

"Dress shirt and pants?" Nina asked.

"That would be nice. Or a skirt. The skirt you're wearing now is perfectly fine. It's a good length. Just think higher neckline with your tops," Andrew advised as he stopped the car outside her house.

"Thanks Andrew," Nina told him with a warm smile before exiting the car.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said cheerfully.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," Nina replied before heading inside her house.

"There's some food for you on the stove," her mother greeted her once she got through the door.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," Nina declined before hurrying up to her room to examine herself in the mirror. Tears filled her eyes as she decided that she needed to lose some weight.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

#tom hiddleston #andrew scott #benedict cumberbatch #stepfather tom hiddleston #secretary #drama

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joshslater · 5 years ago

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The Reformatory

A rewrite of jd07201990′s swimmer story. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

T -1

Dear diary or however you are supposed to start.

So tomorrow is the big day. Dad and I are sleeping at a Holiday Inn at the other side of the state. Well, I'm obviously not sleeping. How could I? So I thought I should start a journal of some sort to document this experience.

Some background. Two months ago I was in a fight with Mark Samberg on the football team. It had gotten pretty bad between the football schmucks and us swimmers. The jockheads were constantly harassing us, calling us fags and prissy boys. It happened often and was getting boring. As the captain of the swim team I asked Mark to knock it off and get his players in line. Idiot as he is he tried to knock me out instead, and I lost it. In our scramble I managed to knock him down and was about to kick him in the shin when he shifted and instead I connected with his knee. Apparently it fractured. He'll be able to walk and even run, but he'll not be able to play again for years, so he lost his Scholarship.

His family sued everyone they could. Me, the school, the swim coach. In the end all the lawyers sat down in a room with a local judge and came up with something they all could agree to. Mark gets some study assistance to get his grades up, the school had this quickly brushed under the carpet, and could pretend I was never student there. Me not graduating wasn’t really a blow, as my college fund now went to pay for Mark’s education, as compensation. They were rich enough to afford it anyway, but they wanted to see punishment. I get the honor to spend the next 180 days at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center, where I will "participate in all scheduled exercises, activities, therapies, meals and medication programs". They can tack on some extra days for bad behavior without going back to the judge, but essentially I get 6 months at bad boy camp for standing up to bullies.

What will I do there? No idea. The website talks a lot about work ethics and responsibility and working together with the local community. Sounds like labor camp to me. I'll guess we'll know tomorrow. But first we have to visit the hospital for a check up. My first day in prison will mostly not be in prison!

Day 1, Monday

We started with a checkup at the hospital, and man did they do a thorough job. Our appointment was at 10, but before that I had to fill out a form with 100 questions. The doctor spent more than 30 minutes doing the most extensive check I've ever had. Not only that, but after the check we had to go to the sample lab to draw blood, and finally I had a CT scan at noon. After that, and a quick lunch, we drove to the actual reformation center, which was in a smaller town 2 hours away.

It's an old boarding school building that they've turned into this "Reformation Center", and it clearly looks more like a prison than a school. Just a heap of two story brick and concrete buildings out in nowhere. Not much of security, but then everyone was there "voluntarily", meaning that we all had a proper punishment waiting for us if we left. I hugged dad goodbye and was shown to Mr. Kerwin’s office by the entrance guard.

Mr. Kerwin was a lean, ripped man in his forties that oozed military discipline. He explained that he was responsible for my rehabilitation and that he wouldn't start soft. He would give me a packed schedule, and if I didn't pull my weight he would add more days for "noncompliance". If I didn't like it I could run back to judge Stephenson and ask to start over in juvie.

Perhaps that would be better, because the schedule he showed me was totally insane.

4:30-5:00 Breakfast 5:00-8:00 Exercise pass 1 8:00-12:00 Work pass 1 12:00-12:30 Lunch 12:30-14:30 School 14:30-17:30 Work pass 2 17:30-18:00 Dinner 18:00-21:00 Exercise pass 2 21:30 Lights out

He explained that my breakfast, lunch and dinner would be pre-portioned and I was required to eat all of it. The exercise passes would be lead by himself or one of the assistants. Again, I would have to follow every instruction. The work passes were done at local businesses that wanted an extra hand, and changed depending on demand. The school passes were done as a group on whatever subject Mr. Reed selected.

Next he ordered me to get naked and place all my clothes on top of my bag and move to the other side of the room. Having done so he pointed at a stack of clothes on the table and told me to pick my size and get dressed. I quickly dressed in one of the track suits from the table. There was a baseball cap also, which confused me, but was told that it was instead of sunglasses when working outdoor.

With that I was given a rule book to study and was led by an assistant to my room where a dinner was waiting. Turkey, rice, water. I was reminded of lights out at 21:30 and wake up at 4:30. The assistant left and locked the door. 10 minutes later he came back with my journal book and pen, and told me that they'll keep the rest for now.

Having eaten the dinner and having three hours (I'm almost sure 21:30 is 9:30 PM) to kill before the lights go out I'm now summarizing the day. I'm sitting in something very similar to a prison cell. Bed, toilet, sink. Everything is clean, though somewhat worn. Looking into the mirror is kind of depressing though. I look like some jailed gang member.

It's kind of weird that I haven't met any of the other inmates, sorry students, here. I saw some of them while coming in, but perhaps this is their kind of hazing, or they do an official presentation tomorrow. Anyway, I should study the rule book and go to bed, since I didn't sleep much last night.

Day 2, Tuesday

So much to write about, so little time. I might have to split this into several entries since lights out is in 20 minutes.

I was awaken at 4:30 and given a tray with a large bowl of porridge and berries and some chalky smoothie or shake or whatever to drink. After that an assistant lead me to the gym room where we went over various machines, mainly for cardio. Elliptical, bike, treadmill. Weird thing was that it was only us two in the room during all three hours.

Sweaty and a bit tired I was then taken outside to a bus where some of the other boys where chilling. Apparently everyone else had breakfast between 7 and 8. They had no idea why I didn't join them there. The bus then drove around town and the driver announced who should exit where. My group of four people exited at a farm before town, only about 5 minutes away. I don't know exactly since I haven't been given my watch back.

There we spent hours just moving hay. Don't they know about tractors? Sweaty, itchy, tired and hungry we were then picked up and driven back. At lunch was the first time I saw the real common area. To my surprise there were more boys there than had been on the bus.

Everyone else could pick what they wanted from what was served, but I was given a ready tray with an heap of salmon and pasta. I was starving though, so it wasn't a problem to eat it all. I didn't have much time to talk, but the guys at my table were nice. Somewhat rough, as could be expected. Apparently you were chosen for the different work assignments, and if you were not picked you stayed at the center for sports or craft or similar things.

After Lunch followed a session with Mr. Reed. The first boring hour was on English grammar and the second boring hour on US geography. I aced the quizz getting all 50 states and state capitols right, so I didn't learn anything new after that. Then Mr. Reed announced who had work assignments, and I was again selected.

This time I and Troy were dropped off at a different farm where we spent almost three hours helping with fencing. Mainly carry posts and sawing them to length.

For dinner I had some meatballs with roasted sweet potatoes while everyone else had meatballs with tomato sauce. Mr. Kerwin picked me up and led me to the gym. Unlike the morning session this was all about weight training. Most of it was on finding my limits for different exercises while Mr. Kerwin pointed out how I could improve my form. You could tell that this was what he liked to do, and encouraged me to push a bit further. Once we were done I had a bottle of post workout mix of some sort and a very quick shower before rushing back to my room.

Here's the thing. My room is on a different floor than the other guys. Also, my schedule appears to be different and much more rigid than the rest of the guys. I also

Day 3, Wednesday

I couldn't finish the last entry before they cut the light. My entire body is in pain right now. I woke up like that, and it didn't go away all day. Same schedule as yesterday, but different tasks and different dishes. The assistant really pushed today during the morning session, so I was exhausted already at the bus. Planting bushes at the city park all morning didn't help. I got some rest during Reeds rehash of elementary math. Then back to doing fences, and top it all off with weight training. I asked Mr. Kerwin about the schedule and why it was so different from everyone else’s. He said that everyone's schedule is individual and that he'll adjust mine as needed.

One more weird thing before I fall to sleep. Everyone else is using their normal clothes. I haven't gotten mine back yet.

Day 4, Thursday

FUCK! I was back on moving hay today again, with Sam, Trevor and Rick. I'm still hurting like hell and Rick is one lazy motherfucker, so old fart Farmer Joe decided to complain. The end result is that I am getting 2 days added for noncompliance. Sam, Trevor and Rick got nothing. WTF!

Day 5, Friday

We were carrying merchandise all morning and Troy heckled me on how I got more days because of the piece of shit Rick. But he then said that it was a weird coincidence that every work shift I've been on has been the toughest one.

Instead of going to class I met with the doctor from the hospital who made a visit. He asked me about how I felt, where I was sore etc. Then he gave me an injection which he said would ease things for me. I didn't feel much different, but I was getting really sleepy getting back to Mr. Reeds class, but it might just be that everything he did was too simple and boring.

Apparently while I had a check up Troy had shared his theory about me being a work magnet, so there were some groans from the guys placed in my group. God damn fence work again.

Man, I'm tired. I was tired even before Mr. Kerwin gave me the toughest weight pass ever. Fuck, I'm tired.

Day 6, Saturday

So the weekend schedule is different. There is still a morning work pass, basically only used by the local farmers. But the afternoon is free both on Saturdays and Sundays. Conditions and terms applies, apparently. Since I haven't done any cleaning or dishes all week (how could I?), I'm assigned washing clothes, sheets etc. Man, how much better it is to carry laundry than hay. Best job assignment all week. Lots of downtime. Only real drawback is all the humidity. It’s steamy AF here.

Still fucking 3h workout pass in the morning and evening. The other boys were pretty vocal in mocking me on my way to the gym.

Day 7, Sunday

So the day started out as any other so far. Woke up sore. Breakfast alone and 3 hour gym session. There are no work passes outside LARC on Sundays, so I was hit with cleaning, together with Kyle G. and Rick. Rick ghosted after like three minutes, but KG did a solid work. It took us all the time til lunch though to finish it.

Then my first free couple of hours all week. It’s insane. The other guys were low key avoiding me, so I did what Mr. Kerwin had suggested and had a walk in the forest. It was actually kind of nice, and for some weird reason I didn’t feel like sitting still.

Day 8, Monday

Same shit again. Mr. Kerwin gave me a shot in the arm this evening. Apparently I’ll have one each Monday from now on. Whatever.

Also I found out today that the others don’t have formal lights out. I’m on my own floor so they can lock me up and cut the power. What the fuck?

Day 9, Tuesday

That fucker Rick slacked off again, taunting me about another two days. Ha! I got 10. Mostly for kicking him in the teeth. They locked me in my room, so I had lunch there and sat in this boring ass cell during class and work. Fuck, I don’t know what’s worse. I had to do some body weight exercises to keep sane. Fuck this shit.

Back again. I still got to have my evening workout. Kerwin was pushing harder than ever. The order of exercises was different too. Apparently to make the major muscles tired so smaller muscle groups then get to work. Or something. I don’t give a shit.

Day 11, Thursday

They fucking work now, don’t they the little shits. They know I ruined someones career to get here and another one for slacking off. They better pull there weight

Day 14, Sunday

I think I’ll stick to just write on Sundays. There is only half an hour from evening gym to lights out, so there isn’t much time for writing. I’ve even skipped shower a few times. It’s not like it matters when you start every fucking day getting soaked with cardio. Not like there are any girls around to impress either. Sunday has a different vibe tho. Cleaning, running in the forest and taking a long shower.

Starts and ends with fucking gym time though.

Day 21, Sunday

I really fucking like the forest runs. Its like you don’t have to think and can just run wherever and grab whatever and smash whatever. Fucking love it

Day 28, Sunday

Yay! A full fucking month!

It’s crazy though how much stronger I’m. I have gone up one size larger track suite and 2 sizes larger sneakers. Working hard to make me the best I guess.

Day 42, Sunday

guess i forgot about writing last week. i think the monday shots make me angry or something because last week fucked up someone else on tuesday. at least they all give me fucking respect at least.

Day 92, Monday

i dont give a shit abot reeds borin ass lessons and they fuckin repeat on a loop or some shit. today he was back on gramr and the states. i most time dont fill out his shit but wanted to do it again today. fucking aced most of the states. not so good on the capitols tho

Day 203, Sunday

only 2 weeks left tomorrow lol then im gonna yeet the fuck outta here !!!! adios motherfuckas

Mr. Kerwin enters the room, carrying a folder, and walks behind his desk, not even looking at me. I am sitting in his precious fucking antique chair I pulled from the corner. He’s sitting his ass down, rifles through the papers in the folder and starts to read from one of them.

“John Hamlin agrees to 180 days of rehabilitation training at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center, where he will participate in all scheduled exercises, activities, therapies, meals and medication programs, with a possible extension of 30 days for noncompliance and a possible extension of 60 days for infractions as described by the Juvenile Rehabilitation Act (JuRA), section 1103 (b).”

He looks up at me. It sounded like easy shit when I said yes to it. I thought half a year in a bad boy summer camp, or worst case something like prison, but that would have been miles better than this fucking non-stop hard labor shit. And 180 days was a fucking joke. They never fucking intended that to be the actual time. Have someone else slack off and the slap another 2 days to the time. Kick a chair to pieces, 5 days. Punch a guy for being a cunt, 10 days. I’m close to having another fucking outburst again. It must be all that fucking shit they put in the food or shakes or whatever. I fight it. I don’t want to show any emotion in front of him. I don’t think he buys my shit.

“There is another document in the agreement that you haven’t heard. This one between Mark and judge Andrews.”

He pulls out another paper from the folder and read it.

“The state hereby directs Mark Samberg, or person(s) by him so designated, to design and oversee the rehabilitation program of John Hamlin to be administrated at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center. This includes physical exercises, physical therapy, education, consoling, dietary plan and medication, as long as it fulfills the positive development criteria (Appendix D), is within the available services at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center (Appendix A) and within the given budget (Appendix C). Additional services require external financing and approval from the Reformation Center management (Appendix B).”

That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why the hell had the judge put Mark in charge of my schedule? I understand why he’d want to make the experience suck as much as fucking possible for me, by why had everyone agreed to it? Kerwin looks at me as if he can read an open book.

“You are wondering what has happened to you. What was the meaning of all this? Stand up.”

I jump to my feet. There are still weeks he can add to my time here, and I don’t want to give him any fucking reason to add some shit.

“Stand with your feet as close together as you can.”

He’s never asked me to do that before. I can easily tap me feet together, but I can’t really stand still with my feet right next to each other for long. What the fuck is this bullshit? My thighs are too massive for that.

“Sit down again.”

He leans back and watches me with a bemused smirk.

“Imagine that you’d been away from swimming half a year. Even if you kept in shape it would take you months to be back in good enough technique to clear the swim team tryouts. But you have not kept in shape, have you? You have a completely new shape.”

The blood is draining from my face. I understand where this is going.

“With your upper body build you can physically really only do butterfly strokes properly, but if you can’t bring your feet together the leg kick will just be a wild thrashing of water. You swimming medley would be a hilarious joke. We haven’t even talked about you almost doubling in weight, and how much more oxygen you would need to swim. Sure, you are much stronger now, but old you would swim circles around new you. And that is of course the point. If Mark couldn’t have his sports career, he didn’t want you to have yours either. And the judge agreed.”

I’m surprised that the chair doesn’t break, as hard as I’m squeezing it. I’m boiling with fucking rage. I have to really focus to not to act on it.

“Now the judge specifically set out that this transformation couldn’t be punishment in itself, but rather that you were trained in a way that just wasn’t optimal for swimming. We may have gone a bit overboard with the body building to leave you many options though. You’ll obviously never be competitive in anything with speed or agility, like football or boxing. The metabolic conditioning, hormone treatment and gene therapy have far to long lasting effects to change you back from where you are now. You could try wrestling or weight lifting though, unless you mind showing your erection through spandex.”

“What the fuck?”, I said, as much as a general question to all the things he’d said. What does metabolic conditioning mean? Gene therapy? Erections?

“The medical regimen that Marks family found for you kind of put the feet on both the gas and the break at the same time. It forces the body to grow a lot at the same time as we try to stop it, so it has to try even harder. By injecting stem cells with the right CRISPR-modified DNA we could get rapid, major and long lasting changes. Well, I say we, but all I did was to make sure you kept to the exercise regimen, for a little cash on the side… Surely you didn’t think you got larger feet and dick from eating much and working hard?”

I don’t understand exactly what they done to me, but the result is pretty fucking clear. There was no way I would swim competitively ever again, if I could even fucking swim at all now. I would come out of here looking like a fucking balloon animal muscle jock, and shedding the muscles back to where I were would take shitloads of years.

“The hormone treatment finished two weeks ago and last blood sample shows that your natural hormone levels will keep you muscled and pumped probably well into your forties. So this morning I also cut you off from all suppressive medication as well. That is going to spike your hormone levels and mess quite a bit with you, so we need to see just how badly fucked up you are before we can release you.”

“The good doctor say that you’ll be more irritable and have more excess energy than before. Both something you can work on with regular, hard exercise. But I want to see where you really are at now, so starting today you’ll have no required gym time and labor passes. You can wake up when you want, eat what you want and do what you want.”

“You said erections?”, I asked.

“Yeah, the suppression medication should have kept you limp. You haven’t jacked off while here, have you? Well, you heard what I said about gas and break and compensation. Your body has been pumping massive amounts of hormones into your blood, and will continue to do so. But now that you don’t have the suppressives anymore you should expect to be horny for the next decade or two. You’ll be nothing but a lumbering muscle dildo.”

There’s a crack somewhere inside the wood of the armrest. Fucking fourteen more days, I have to remind myself. Don’t fuck any shit up before then. If I let go of the chair I’m quite positive I will knock him the fuck out. Fourteen fucking more shit days.

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