#Sorry if I got a bit long winded I'm full of so many thoughts

[hazardous-who]

I LOVE your fanfic "to loose is to gain" !! It reminds me of Killing Stalking. The vibes of two mentally ill people in a mindfuck toxic relationship.

NO, I DO NOT APPROVE THAT and I will never think that they cute together of course. But it's rare people writing about this sad reality involving shocking descriptions and disturbing content. You describe them perfectly and what I like is that you're not romantising them. 👍🏻

I'm going to read your new fanfic (⁠づ⁠￣⁠ ⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠づ

I'm glad that you're enjoying it so far ! I'm a fan of darker written stories personally, and think portraying the different mentalities of how things can devolve is pretty important to consider rather than the straight dive into co-dependency or love that sometimes can be portrayed in some stories like this. Not everyone has the same reaction to things, some people freeze, some people fight- There's also the case where people adapt on the spot for the sheer sake of survival or to avoid any more pain then they're already experiencing right from the get go. I honestly want people to dislike my Obito. At the end of the day, different people do different things, but knowing where each person stands and thinks also helps you realize why they come to the responses they do- which is one of the main things I'm trying to achieve in my fic. I am rambling now. Also I've never personally read Killing Stalking, but I'll take that as a compliment ! Maybe ?? I'll assume it is ! Otherwise I hope you also enjoy my other fic, for it is WAY more lighthearted.

[fictionismyreality3]

Can we have a smut of stalker Jason with somnophilia and crazy to eat pussy? Plsss

I mean, Jason is a natural fucking pussy eater.

AND I'M HAPPY TO HAVE PLACED YOUR FIRST RESQUET!!

Can I be the 💦 anon? To u know that is me

Too Much to Take (18+)

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: Smut, stalker!jason todd, possessive!jason todd

Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it, somnophilia, stalking, dubcon, guns, drugs, little to no aftercare.

Notes: hi babes!! I’m so so sorry this took so long, a bear ate my phone. My beautiful 💦 your request is much appreciated. I know it’s unrealistic that the reader never wakes up but I have nevER EVER BEEN HAPPIER.

The cool, night breeze of Bludhaven blew the white chiffon curtains your mother had gotten you in the wind. Across from your bed sat a gorgeous, kingly armchair where you loved to sit and read. Your apartment was carefully decorated by your artful hands, each piece put perfectly in its place. When you got home everyday, you knew you would be returning to a safe, cozy home full of memories and comfort items. Everything was just how it should be.

That’s why the man standing in your apartment was so out of place.

You were asleep, of course. Knocked out after a long day running errands. Your bed had welcomed you warmly, and you couldn’t resist cracking open your window just a little bit, wanting to savour the start of spring.

You knew the automatic danger that came with living in Bludhaven, but you’d saved up enough to move to a nicer area, and your apartment was on the 8th floor of your building. Surely, nobody would bother risking the fall.

Surely.

It had been three days since Jason had first saw you. Three days too long since he’d seen you in person. He’d watched you nearly every minute of the last 72 hours, consuming every ounce of information he could find about you and your life.

His shift watching over Bludhaven ended tomorrow, when Dick would be returning from wherever he went. So, he only had around a day left of viable excuse to be near you. After that, finding a reason to be in Bludhaven even longer would be his main priority. It was clear that he’d already be wherever you were. The thought of not being able to reach you was enough to shatter what little was left of his soul.

No, no, there was no going back now.

And so, Jason found himself perched on the rooftop across from your building, the endless Bludhaven rain pelting across his broad shoulders.

He spent the first few moments watching you carry out your night routine. It was all things many people in Bludhaven overlooked, or dropped as soon as their lives were overtaken by the chaos in the city. Somehow, you’d managed to maintain a semblance of a normal life even while being surrounded by shootings and drug runs.

He stayed still, hovering over your apartment like a cloud of death, his gaze never breaking to stray to anything else but you. He watched you make dinner, he watched you tidy up, he watched you get ready for bed. All of it was as fascinating to him as everything he’d seen when he researched your background.

All the little habits you did. The way you fiddled with the timer on the stove while you waited for the food, the way you danced to your music while you did dishes, the way you preferred an endless heap of pillows on your bed. Every little quirk he watched served to drill your presence deeper into his being. You were exactly what he needed.

So pure.

Innocent enough to leave your bedroom window open in the middle of a crime surge in the only city worse than Gotham.

It gave Jason the perfect opportunity to watch you sleep, and the perfect opportunity to survey your apartment for places to set up cameras. He’d need to make sure that he had every inch of the place covered so he could watch you at all times. The last thing Jason wanted was for some criminal or other creep to breathe the same air as you.

Oh, how cute.

He looked on as you settled into bed, reaching over to your nightstand to pat the head of a tiny giraffe plushy, as if it would stand guard and protect you from all the dangers in the world. You didn’t need a stupid plushie. You had him now.

But what if you needed him and he wasn’t there? What if you left your window open every night and someone with worse intentions was there to take advantage of it? He needed to be there to protect you, to keep away all the dangers and make sure you lived like a princess. It could happen tonight if Jason wasn’t careful. He couldn’t have that.

Wind blew the curtains in your window aside, as if the world was parting the barriers that lay between you. He was just going to make sure that nobody who was less well meaning than him would take a chance to hurt you.

With the speed of years and years of training, Jason hopped from rooftop to rooftop, as quiet as a panther stalking its prey. But Jason wasn’t stalking you. No, he was helping you, making sure you were safe.

Landing on your fire escape balcony without a sound, Jason stood motionless as he peered into your bedroom, his eyes locked on your sleeping form.

You were like an angel in his eyes. Something clean and untouched. Something that he could have all to himself now that he’d found you. Jason wasn’t worried about tainting you with his red-stained hands, no, you were saving him. You had saved him.

He took the time to study your bedroom, burning each item of decor into his mind. There were so many perfect spots to put cameras, and of course, he’d brought some with him just in case. They were small, tech he had ‘borrowed’ from Bruce’s generous stockpile in the safe house he was staying at.

He could have them placed and synced back up with his computer in less than five minutes. It would be so easy he wouldn’t even wake you.

And Jason didn’t want to wake you. It wasn’t just the fact that he felt you looked so peaceful sleeping, something he would hate to disturb, it was that he wasn’t ready.

If you knew who he was, how could he guarantee your safety? Not to mention the fact that you might even try to run from him.

Like hell.

So, Jason found himself pushing the window you’d cracked open further, till he could just slip inside. Landing on the balls of his feet as he’d been trained to do a hundred times before, his presence was barely audible.

Just being in the same room as you felt like he was drunk and more alert than ever all at once. In the back of his mind, a sour voice told him to stop, to let this be the farthest he went and leave before things got out of hand. God forbid Bruce found out. But he pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they came.

Taking his time, he walked slowly around your bedroom, his eyes soaking in everything that was just you. It was impossible to resist purusing your things as he came to your dresser. Trailing his fingers across all the little decorations you had, he closed his eyes, imagining he was touching your skin instead.

He couldn’t resist opening the drawers, and nearly sank to his knees when he saw that the first one he opened was full of your panties and bras. His mask suddenly felt constricting, and he immediately noticed his breaths pick up.

“Jesus Christ.” He huffed out in a sharp breath, his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

Looking back over at you sleeping in the bed, it was like he had the devil on both shoulders. Without thinking long enough to regret it, he reached for the prettiest pair, pocketing it so quickly it may as well had never been there.

Jason let out a heavy sigh, but continued placing cameras in places nobody but him would think to check. He’d have to come back later to do the rest of the apartment.

After just watching you sleep for what felt like far too little time, Jason finally willed himself to turn and leave. Every fibre of his being was screaming in protest. The thought of getting to be this close to you, only to have it ripped away, was almost too much to bear. Still, he made his way back to your window. That’s when he heard it.

The sound of rustling sheets filled Jason’s expertly trained ears and his gaze snapped to the noise instantly as he froze in place, halfway out your window.

Dear god.

Where you had been snuggled cutely in your blankets, you had kicked them off to leave your lower half exposed.

Your gorgeous legs lay splayed across your bed, long and elegant. All of his senses were dialled in on the singular sight of you. His cock thrummed with heat almost instantly, his pants stretched out by his girth as his gazed strayed further.

You were wearing a pair of flimsy sleep shorts and a shirt that was far too big for you and he’d be damned if he said it wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

With an amount of restraint he didn’t think he possessed, Jason bit his tongue, practically salivating at the sight of you. He rested his head against the window frame, halfway out of your apartment, halfway towards making a very bad decision.

He should leave. He should leave and never come back and leave you alone and stop. But he couldn’t.

Fuck it.

Refusing to spend any more time not having you, Jason pulled himself back through your window, prowling towards your bed.

He just stood there for a while like he had already, staring at the delicious curve of your ass and feeling his cock harden in his pants. If he was already going to hell for this then he would take his time savouring his sins.

But he could only hold himself back for so long.

With a quiet groan, Jason crept nearer to your side, pulling away the rest of the blankets as carefully as he could. It wasn’t that important for him to see all of you just yet. Not only was his mind only focused on one thing, but he knew he had all the time in the world to study every part of you. You were his after all.

Now that your lower half was exposed to the cool spring air, there was only one barrier keeping Jason from taking what was holding his entire soul. He prayed you were a heavy sleeper, and lowered himself to his stomach on the bed. Propped up on his elbows, there were only a few inches separating him from the only thing he wanted.

Thank god for sleep shorts.

In the back of his mind, he was already adding buying you something less revealing to his list of things to do, not wanting anyone to see you but him. But that could wait.

Taking off his mask and placing it on the floor beside your bed, he bit his tongue and gently hooked his fingers underneath your sleep shorts, pulling them to the side. All at once the breath left his lungs and he felt like his world was being tipped upside down. You didn’t wear any panties to bed.

Jason had to close his eyes for a moment in order to control his urge to wake you up and ravish you. When he opened them again, they flickered green and he zeroed in on what was making his mouth water.

Your pretty little pussy.

It was a miracle he’d gotten this far to be honest, but you didn’t seem to stir for anything. Thanking whatever force was allowing him this one pleasure, he moved closer to you and began taking what he wanted so desperately.

The moment his mouth met your pussy he nearly came in his pants.

Stopping for a second, he waited for any sign you were awake, his heart pounding in his ears. But you were still silent. Jason took this as his go ahead, but he had no intentions of stopping anyway.

He peppered kisses along your pussy, drunk on the softness of your skin and the taste of you on his lips. Everything in him was bursting with thrill, and he could barely stop himself from rutting against your bed to get some much needed friction. He wasn’t in his mind anymore, the only thing keeping him tethered to the planet was your sweet little cunt.

You began to breathe a little heavier in your sleep, your soft breathing quickly getting deeper. But Jason didn’t stop.

He couldn’t.

Not when you tasted so divine, not when your skin felt like heaven on his tounge. He moved to your clit now, his whole face practically pressed into your pussy. If he was gonna go out between your legs, it was a death he would gladly take.

He sucked on your clit, alternating between swirling his tounge around it in tight little circles and sloppily eating you out. It was getting harder and harder for Jason to control the level of noise he was making. His groans and low, rumbling growls began to fill the room. It was just you. Only you in his mind, his heart, and his soul.

Oh, fuck.

You were making these cute little noises now. Little breathy whimpers and whines were leaving your lips. With each sound that reached his ears, he felt a bit more of his control slipping.

He hadn’t even noticed he was fucking you with two fingers until you began to squirm. All at once he halted all his movement, waiting for his fun to end, but your eyes never opened. This would all just be a really good dream for you. He almost chuckled at the idea.

Certain you’d stay asleep, he buried his face in your pussy, eating you like a man starved. His fingers pumped in and out of your now slick cunt, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he tasted your sweetness on his tongue.

But it wasn’t enough. He needed more.

He needed to make you cum. He needed to be the one, the only one, bringing you pleasure. He wanted to feel your cum running down his face. He wanted to taste you on his tongue three days from now.

There was no point trying to contain himself anymore. He’d already jumped off the edge a long time ago. Jason pumped a third finger into you, allowing himself to grind his raging cock against your bed. The noises you were making were getting louder, and you were beginning to writhe in your sheets every time he slammed his fingers into you. He knew he’d have to be quick, but honestly, he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Taking your clit in between his teeth, he grazed the sensitive skin just enough to have you even wetter for him. Jason was desperate. All his cares, all his worries had been replace by an unending, carnal urge for you.

Only you.

He pumped his fingers faster, driving them in and out while he ate you like a man possessed. Then, he got to experience what was easily the best thing that ever happened to him.

Without warning, your needy whimpers turned into one long, high pitched whine, and your sweetness burst into Jason’s mouth. He felt like he died all over again, cumming in his pants as he groaned into your pussy, shuddering. Never once did his fingers stop, only slowing to allow himself to lap up all of your juices.

The world was quiet for a moment as he stayed hooked on your cunt, his eyes closed in bliss.

But he couldn’t stay forever.

With an insane amount of difficulty, Jason placed one more kiss on your clit, and pulled your shorts back in place. His own underwear would be ruined, and he would definitely have to wash his pants, but he couldn't have given less of a shit.

Once he was sure you’d stay asleep, he moved off the bed, coming to stand beside your now flushed face. Jason didn’t know what was worse, having to leave after tasting the best thing ever, or the fact that you’d only remember this as a dream.

Not wanting to think about anything but how full his heart felt, he leaned down and pressed a feather light kiss to your cheek.

“Sweet dreams, baby. You’re mine.” He whispered softly, as if you could hear him, and brushed a lock of your hair behind your ear.

Taking one last glance at your pretty face, he turned and crept his way out of your apartment, leaving the way he came, through the window.

He made sure to close it.

It was clear to Jason that he should be feeling shame, remorse or disgust with himself for what he just did, but the only thing on his mind was how he wanted you awake for next time. And there would be a next time.

When you awoke that morning, and the haze of sleep cleared from your mind, your focus instantly went to the wetness between your thighs. You blushed as vague memories of a rather nice dream sprung to the forefront of your thoughts.

Shaking your head, you crawled out of bed, yawning, when your eyes caught on a slightly confusing sight.

“Didn’t I leave that open?”

[heartbreak-sandwich]

Billy knows better than to side eye you when you talk to Steve. The two of you have been friends since he and Robin worked at Scoops Ahoy together, and though Billy knows you have no interest in Steve, he can't help but satisfy the need to bite the inside of his cheek every time he sees you two talking alone. With one hand in his pocket, he walked with purpose as he approached the table where you two were enjoying smoothies.

"Thought I might find you two here." You heard Billy's voice ring out over the bustling echoes of the mall courtyard. You couldn't be totally sure, but you thought you detected some edge to his words.

"Exactly where we said we'd be?" Steve asked, raising his eyebrows. Billy subtly jutted his chin upwards and let his eyes bore into Steve's. Now you knew he was obviously bothered, but Steve was still staring back in total confusion.

"Right on time" you chimed in, rising to your feet and meeting Billy where he stood. He slung an arm around you and pulled you in by your waist a bit tighter than you expected, all the while never breaking his stare at Steve. Billy was challenging him, and Steve obviously didn't understand what was happening. He looked to the left, to the right, and back to Billy again.

"Is there a problem, Harrington?" Billy asked, venom rising with every word he spoke. Steve shrugged awkwardly in his seat, looked around again, and finally responded.

"Why would there be a problem?" Billy pushed an audible breath from his nose as his grip around your waist grew even tighter, but he didn't say another word.

"I guess we'd better get going," you piped up, longing to break the tension before Billy got too heated. The new mall had just opened, and the last thing you wanted was to be involved in it making headlines again, citing your overprotective boyfriend being arrested all because you and Steve decided to have a smoothie on a Friday afternoon.

You said goodbye to Steve who gave you an awkward half wave, still looking puzzled as ever as you and Billy made your way toward the mall's exit.

"What was that about?" you asked him in a hushed but stern tone.

"What was what about?" It wasn't like Billy to play dumb about his aggression, but the two of you had talked many times about his behavior toward Steve. It was starting to soften, but Billy still had his moments, and he knew it really affected you. You weren't letting it go this time.

"I thought we talked about Steve." Once in the parking lot, your voice was at full volume. You had been patient for so long, but now you were starting to feel annoyed that Billy couldn't just let things go. "We talked all about your fears, your jealousy, and the reasons why you hated Steve - none of which were valid, by the way - and you're still staring him down like prey every time you see him. I don't get it."

"I'm trying, okay?" Billy looked away from you and pulled out a cigarette, opening the door of his Camaro. He really thought you were going to let this go.

"Try harder," you countered, pushing his driver's side door shut mid swing.

"Hey--" Billy threw his arms up in frustration. You knew he was heated now, and so were you. Deciding that you needed the upper hand in this situation, you knew exactly what to say.

"Don't you trust me, Billy?" His arms fell to his sides. He turned around and took a deep breath.

"Babe," he said, turning back to you. "Come on. That's not fair -"

"You know what's not fair?! The fact that my boyfriend and my best friends can't get along because he can't let. Things. Go. You talk about wanting to grow and change, but you don't do it. Where is that going to leave us?" Your eyes stung as they welled up with tears. Billy looked as if you had knocked the wind out of him. The pain of losing you would always be too much for him to bear, and he knew he had gone too far today.

"I'm sorry," he said, reaching his hand out to you. "Please just listen." You took a step toward him. He took your hand in his and pulled you close to him so he could look directly into your eyes. "You know it's because I'm always afraid. I'm always afraid of losing the things I love. El showed me the truth, and you know that. It's just taking me some time, and I'm sorry you're suffering for it."

"I'm trying to be patient," you sniffled, tears spilling over and running down your cheeks. "But it's so hard when all I want to feel is happiness, warmth, comfort. After everything that has happened here in Hawkins, I just want home to feel like home again, and this makes it seem impossible." Billy knew this wasn't just about him and Steve. This was deeper. You were missing the comfortable life you knew before just like everyone else in The Party. He wiped your tears away with his thumbs, his hands cupping your face as he continued to stare into your eyes.

"I'll make home feel like home again. No matter what I have to do, I promise you I will do it for you." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and embraced you, swaying you gently as your crying calmed down. You knew he meant it, and you knew he was more than capable of doing so. Billy never, ever broke his promises.

[starry-907]

hi starry!!! <3 i've been seeing so many stick men on my dash, and i've gotten super curious. the fandom wiki page answered none of my questions, so i thought i'll turn to the resident expert <3 <3 <3 whomst may be these characters and where do they come from?

RESIDENT EXPERT SJDLFJSKDJ THANK YOU I GUESS?? i'm just very autistic abt these silly sticks, i don't think i'm much of an expert

the stickfigures are from Alan Becker's Animation Vs series/franchise (calling it a franchise seems wrong but there's multiple series under the umbrella so idk how else to describe it) on youtube! i'm gonna go into more detail on that but i'm putting it under a cut because i don't know how long this'll get to be completely honest

also sorry if this takes a while to get answered i wanted to collect screenshots and visuals

So i'm not gonna get into a full play-by-play, mainly to avoid spoiling you, but the series can be kinda split up into a few different categories (the first two being the "primary" series of the overarching series)

ALSO the creator refers to all the sticks with he/him but a lot of people tend to headcanon differently (it's me i'm people) so i might use my own hc pronouns for characters. honestly part of the series' appeal is the fact that there's wiggle room for headcanons to emerge.

anyway! starting off with the og:

Animator vs Animation

animator vs animation starts off with the simple question of, "hey what if my drawings came to life and fought me", which is somewhat of the overarching question through the first 3 installments

the fourth one winds up turning that question on it's head by the end because of this silly li'l guy, The Second Coming (usually called second or orange by the fandom)

by the end of ava 4, second (and the friends they found on a website) have reached an understanding with the animator (who's also alan, it's a bit confusing but i try to think of it like mcyt rules where there's the creator and then the character), and are now friends with him. ava 1-4 were recently bundled into being animator vs animation season 1, i'd recommend you start with these four if you want to watch the other series.

ava seasons 2 and 3 (season 3 is currently ongoing) take a bit of a different turn, delving into the previously left up to question fates of the past three sticks that alan had made in ava 1-3, along with also dropping some bombshells of lore here and there. semi related side note i'm taking the chosen one and shaking them in a tupperware violently.

Animation vs Minecraft

this one is the longest of the different series, with 35 episodes (36 counting the original). it also pulls off the "mainly filler eps until everything suddenly spurs into motion" thing very well. it's also funny because the series started out named as "animation vs minecraft shorts" when episodes in season 3 would get up into at least 20 minute runtimes.

this series is where we start to get personalities developed for the four sticks that second befriended in ava 4, through the lens of different minecraft niches, from animal care to potions to redstone to noteblocks.

avm seasons 1 and 2 focus more on exploring the different aspects of minecraft (such as build battles), though season 1 does have a very brief arc involving this other stick, purple

(purple shows up in later episodes as well)

speaking of purple, if you're watching animation vs minecraft as a whole, make sure to watch animation vs leauge before you get to season 3 otherwise there could be a brief moment of confusion.

"but starry idk anything about minecraft-" THAT'S OK!! sorry for yelling i got excited. the series does a pretty good job of laying down the basics of the more complex mechanics before the stickfigures proceed to take it to heights that are probably not achievable in vanilla.

"starry what about season 3-" I'M GLAD YOU ASKED sorry got excited again. season 3 takes a hard pivot from "semi-unconnected episodes with maybe a few overarching elements" to "fully episodic adventures that will genuinely make you a bit emotional at times near the end". it also starts with blue going to find netherwart before the escalation escalates and trust me once you know how the season ends that seems so much funnier.

season 4 goes back to the less sequential episodes, just with a few status quo updates from the end of season 3 added in, namely the occasional addition of two characters from season 3 that people go feral over seeing included.

I'LL ALSO USE THIS SPACE TO TALK ABOUT THE ACTUAL SHORTS, which, as stated, are shorts that don't have a runtime over a minute or a minute and a half. they're somewhat of a mix between minecraft themed and being themed around other aspects of the series (there's one where the sticks and alan try to max out a clicker game, for example).

animation vs education

these ones are a bit less "plot" and a little more "hey look at this cool thing". the only character we're familiar with to be in this is second, and we essentially follow them going through these various black spaces exploring different educational concepts. right now we have avmath, avphysics, and avgeometry.

they all manage to be engaging and interesting even when the concept being explored reaches the point where you might not understand what the heck is going on (a big example for me being when avphysics started getting into more theoretical stuff, the sequence was cool enough that i didn't even care that half of it was going over my head).

i also feel like these are the ones that people unfamiliar with the series are likely to find? at least when i mention the series usually if someone's heard of it it's cuz they've watched avmath or avphysics.

even though these don't seem to have any connection to the main series (though a lot of people hc that they're second's dreams), i still recommend giving these a watch if for no other reason that they're really cool!

influencer arc

this one's the newest bit added to the umbrella! it's a 3-episode arc about one of the sticks, green, making a youtube channel with his friends and also exploring adobe products. we only have one episode of this so far, and it was funny because everyone was literally going feral over it when it released.

this one's also fun because there's an actual youtube channel for green, so you can see the full version of the videos they make in the episodes! the channel was leaked before the episode release so everyone went feral over that then too. the videos on the channel are very much "kids messing around with a camera" vibes.

the one-off eps

there's quite a number of these that explore different things, like animation vs youtube, where second and green manage to tick off a video player, or the team trees and team seas videos where blue gets the ability to grow trees and remove trash with money (at least in second's dreams). like i said, for understanding one aspect of avm season 3 (namely why everyone's fairly chill with purple when meeting them), i recommend watching animation vs leauge before reaching season 3, purple shows up there.

if you want me to go more in depth about the characters themselves (with some of my headcanons bleeding through a li'l), let me know and i can make a part two! i recommend giving the series a watch if you want to understand better but you'll likely want to break it up into more managable chunks

i also wrote most of this while on the bus to work

[xxnashiraxx]

With Stars to Fill My Dream (10) - Let the Dystopian Morning Light Pour In

EVERYBODY!!! 🖤🖤 We've made it to Chapter 10!! I am so happy we've gotten this far! I don't think I've ever made it this far with my writing, and I'm really proud of myself and my perseverance- I care so much about this story and its characters, and I have so much more material written with no end to my inspiration and motivation in sight! I hope this train keeps rolling full steam ahead because I've made so many friends on this journey and I wouldn't be here without them! 🖤🖤

Anyway, I'll quit my yapping so you can enjoy the chapter! Please see some bonus screenshots below!

(P.S. The screenshots are meant to be enjoyed from afar because my editing stuff is not so good. 🖤🖤)

Summary: A street-smart, musically inclined human girl with a tragic past gets abducted by a nautiloid after her painfully average shift at a retro singing diner. What's worse- putting your all into Olivia Newton-John and Travolta for lousy tips, or getting your guts ripped out by a gnoll? Or worse- getting turned into a hideous humanoid squid? Ofelia Montez will have to see if she can survive long enough to find out.

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Mentions of past abuse and trauma. Canon-typical violence and gore.

Word Count: 9,053

Opening under the cut!

Their group scatters to the winds to check out stalls and mill about as Ofelia and Alfira discuss a few lessons she can learn right away. Wyll and Lae’zel join Karlach and they descend to the blacksmith’s area, Astarion hangs off to the side, not quite in the circle with the two bards but not a part of it. Gale and Shadowheart head off to the apothecary and general goods vendor for potion ingredients and food supplies and in the meantime, Ofelia learns. She learns until her fingers hurt from overuse and twilight begins to overtake the evening sky. The ache is a pleasant reminder that she’s nailed a few spells, her delight overshadowing any exhaustion.

“Can I try one on you?” Ofelia attempts an icebreaker as she walks up beside Astarion, gesturing to her lute. He’s leaning against the weathered rock with his eyes closed, pretending like he hadn’t heard her. If she can free them from whatever rut it is that they’ve been stuck in, she’d like to try.

“I learned Bardic Inspiration, it might be a good idea to practice my skills-”

“Absolutely not.” He mutters sharply, lids still closed. She frowns.

“You’ve been nothing but cold to me all day. I’m sorry about Shadowheart, but whatever this-” She waves her hand in front of him though he can’t see it. “-is, it’s got to stop. The others are starting to notice.” Her voice is like a blade, slicing through his nonchalant demeanor. His eyes snap open and he glares at her- it makes her flinch gently, and it’s clear he notices.

“Let them,” He turns, walking down the ridge and she follows, anger boiling in her blood.

“What’s going on?” She shouts, grateful to be away from her tiefling teacher as he stalks toward the hillside. “What have I done to you? I’m sorry I almost killed you- I didn’t mean to! I couldn’t control it! What happened from when you left me at the river to this morning? What did I do?” She can’t keep the hot rush of emotion from pouring over her words to coat them in betrayal. What happened? They were conversing so easily yesterday- he’d been a bit bristly about her intentions to provide him with her blood, but she thought they’d at least come to an understanding…

“Nothing!” He growls, throwing his pack down on the ground to stake a claim on the dirt he stands upon. “All you do is suffocate me with your kindness- why? Do you like taking pity on a monster? I hate being treated like a charity case.” She freezes, stiff and stung. When she takes a soft step back, he glares at her and she feels herself shrink.

What spurred this on?

If anyone should be considering themselves a monster, it’s her.

[sciderman]

How do you feel about different animated Peters? Do you have a favorite out of them?

hooh man, i know i say that i've consumed every little bit of spider-man media ever but it's really not true actually, and i think the thought of trying to watch every single animated version of peter parker kind of makes my brain explode. there are so many. i didn't actually grow up on spider-man cartoons, i only really got into spider-man comics in my late teens so my point-of-reference for peter parker will kind of always be the 616 comics, first-and-foremost.

i did watch a bit of ultimate spider-man as it was airing and i probably am one of the very few people on the planet who's kind of oddly soft on it! i have complicated feelings about ultimate spider-man. i feel about it the same kind of way that i feel about way's deadpool run. that it's an entirely annoying depiction of the character that is full to the brim with irritating jokes that don't land and package up the character to be a nutszo joke-a-minute lols random haha type deal but - i see oddly sincere and sympathetic and self-aware moments in there that make me inexplicably fond of that particular portrayal.

i don't know - i actually really love it when peter's portrayed as an actual weirdo. not the uptight square-boy you usually see, or this quirky boy-scout who's just kind of bland and cute and nerdy - but a peter parker that is actually unapologetically annoying. like you can't stand to be with him. i kind of love to see it. i don't know, i want him to be annoying. i think he should be annoying. and i love that he's fucking insane. like, objectively. he's not a sane man. he's adhd incarnate. and he's stupid. he has heroic moments, yeah, but he's also stupid and a jerk. i don't know. i'm probably giving it way too much credit, but compared to what came after (disney xd's spider-man (2017), looking at you) it's fun and kind of a very weird departure to your usual spider-man fare. deadpool appears in this show for one singular episode also so naturally thta is enough to make my brain go brrr.

(i've actually been really wanting to write a fic set in this universe. it's a universe i'm kind of interested in exploring, actually. been rotating it in my mind for a really, really long time. i'm almost ashamed to admit it, but every version of wade wilson fires up my brain, and i'm really, really interested in fleshing out this strange, i-was-a-child-soldier-turned-teenage-mercenary wade wilson. sorry. off-topic now. spider-man. we're meant to be talking about spider-man.)

disney xd's spider-man (2017) sorry you are so ugly and so boring. she doesn't exist to me. i hate that stupid nerdy off-brand tom holland ass twink with the green eyes. hate her. she is so boring. and her voice is even worse than drake bell (how could that be possible)

60's spider-man fucks. binged it so hard during my college days because it put me into the flow-state while i was working on my animation projects. i love that square boy. i love how macho he sounds when he's in the suit. i love his stupid fucking spider with the six legs. i love that they didn't have the budget for the extra two legs. i love him. he got me through college. almost tempted to do a stream of 60s spider-man so you all can enjoy it with me. it's a treasure. and thank you, 60s spider-man, for all the reaction images.

spectacular spider-man is very beloved, and i NEAARLY watched it all the way through, but – i don't know, i kind of just... don't like that peter parker very much. i couldn't tell you why. he's just a little boring to me. maybe it's the same criticism people slam onto andrew garfield's spider-man, the "he's too cool" argument. he's just not cringefail enough. he's kind of a bit boring. and his stupid SHIRT TAG that is NEVER TUCKED IN makes me FROTH at the MOUTH. i didn't wind up finishing the series because the love-triangle stuff just got way too exhausting for me. usually i eat up the peter parker drama but this particular case it really is a "why on earth is everyone in love with him. he's so boring." kind of situation. sure, it's a universal constant, but in this series it really is true. i wouldn't waste my time with him. sorry. mid. 5/10 peter parker portrayal. but the art and animation and theme song fuck.

i don't think i've watched enough of the other series to talk about them - which i feel kind of embarrassed about. i wanted to watch the animated series (1994) but just - never got around to it. i just prefer the comic-book format over animation, funnily. the irony, of me being an animator by trade, but preferring the medium of comic books. but like - i don't know. i prefer books over movies too. i just like doing more brain-work. it's why i like to write and draw more than i like to watch things. i don't like passive consumption. i want to put my brain to work. so - soooo, when it comes to watching things, i'm kind of terrible at it.

i think i should do a massive research session where i watch every spider-man series (or at least as much of them as my brain is willing to) - so i can do a comprehensive ranking of all peter parkers. if i have the time for that sort of thing (i don't.)

one day, maybe, one day. it could make a very fun video essay. i'd love to make a video essay, one day.

[gamerbearmira]

HELLO IT IS I. I'm sorry for being gone so long but I had an issue with my Google docs and everything I had written kinda got deleted.... And I kind of couldn't find where I left off with the whole rebirth of a miracle Au soooo I had no idea what to do next for it but after thinking about it I have decided that won't stop me and I WILL continue it. sorry in advance for any inconsistencies that might be in this.

*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~~~*

Pov Isabela

She doesn't hate her youngest sister. She knows how she acts to her might be telling a different story but she doesn't. She's jealous of her. She can admit that, at least to herself, that she's jealous of her freedom and the fact that she isn't forced into any role (but is that really true? With how she's forced into the background, isn't that a role of some kind?) She knows she shouldn't act the way she does, it's not fair to Mirabel but she can't help it, besides she can make up for it all later. So when she was awoken this morning by her father and not her youngest sister she felt an intense amount of dread pool into her stomach.

Which only got worse when she got to the table to see that, besides her mother and Mirabel, everyone is already there. The feeling of panic starts to build inside of her as she takes her seat. Something happened. She knows that Mirabel would never skip waking them up, it's one of the many little jobs that she's assigned to herself and she has never, not once, been late doing them let alone not doing one of them.

She tries to keep herself calm as she looks around the table at everyone, trying to see if one of them knows what might have happened but all she sees is her own fear and slight panic reflected back at her. Poor Luisa is looking around the entire area, eyes desperately searching, she looks like she's on the verge of tears. Tia Pepa is raining slightly and the wind of her panic is noticeable she's running her hands through her braid and is repeating her mantra over and over again all while her Tio Felix tries to keep her calm, Isabela doesn't think it's working but shes not going to point that out right now. Camilo and Antonio have identical confused and scared expressions on their faces it would be funny in a different circumstance. Dolores just looks.... Confused.... That makes Isabela calm slightly because if Dolores is just confused, then maybe they're all just overreacting, maybe last night was just a bit much for Mirabel and mama is with her to make her feel better.

Yes that has to be it! Her youngest sister isn't gone, she hasn't disappeared, nothing has changed, nothing has happened, she's just in the nursery with Mama. She takes a breath of relief feeling a little silly for thinking that Mirabel would... That's she.... Yes she was being silly.

The sound of abuela clearing her throat snaps her out of her thoughts, everyone's eyes snap to abuela waiting to hear what she has to say. It's when she looks at abuela that the little amount of relief that she gained disappears entirely. The look on Abuela's face is not one she has ever seen on her before (or maybe she has...maybe it's been 10 years since she's seen it and she just doesn't remember) before she can get too lost in her thoughts her abuela speaks

"Buenos dias mi familia." Abuela pauses as they all greet her back before taking a deep breath "As you all can see Mirabel and julieta are not at the table right now, they're in the nursery at the moment because .... sometime during the night Casita decided to.... Turn Mirable into a baby." Chaos erupts as she finishes speaking. Absolute chaos.

The storm is intense and forms immediately, animals are running around screeching and breaking everything they see, Camilo's form changes from changing into all kinds of Mirables. Dolores is sitting at her seat hands on her head over her ears squeaking repeatedly. Luisa is sobbing loudly and with her full body. Plants of any and all kinds erupt all around her, not that she notices.

Because what? What did abuela just say? No, no way. There is no way. Before she even knows it she's running to the nursery barely registering the yell that follows her, kind of sounds like abuela. She can't stop herself, she has to see because there's no way. No way in hell. She can hear feet following her and by the way that the ground shakes she knows immediately who it is, Luisa.

She reaches the nursery door and slams into it with her whole body, putting way too much force behind it, and almost rips the door off the hinges as she accidentally breaks it down, she falls forward landing hard on her front. The sound of a wailing baby reaches her ears and She scrambles to get up.

Sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the room right next to the window is her mama. And cradled in her arms is a wailing baby, a frighteningly familiar wailing baby, the memories might be faded but she remembers what her youngest sister looks like as a baby, she'd been one of the first people to meet her, something that she used to tease everyone else with.

No, no please no. This can't be happening. It's a nightmare. It must be. It HAS to be. She wants to wake up now. Please let her wake up now. If she does wake up right now, no matter what time it is she'll go to the REAL Mirable and tell her how sorry she is. For everything. She'll get down on her knees and beg for forgiveness for being such a terrible sister, something she should have done a long time ago. Please please let this not be real.

She feels a hand on her shoulder and jerks away from it taking a step forward towards her Mama and the wailing nightmare baby only for the hand to come back and pull her backwards she turns to see who it is and comes face to face with her papa. He shakes his head at her and mouths 'not yet' pulling her backwards again, pulling her out of the room and into the hallway she struggles against him needing to go to her mama. She sees Luisa in the corner of her eye standing to the side of the doorway looking into the room tears streaming down her face nonstop. That causes her to stop her struggle.

Her papa guides her further down the hallway, grabbing Luisa's arm gently as they pass her to get her to follow him as well. She barely registers any of that her thoughts consumed by one thing.

She'll never be able to make up for what shes done.

IMG HIIII NICE TO SEE YOU <3333 no worries. Google Docs is a writers biggest op sometimes, I get it 💀💀 ALSO I NEED TO RELABEL ALL OF YOUR SNIPPETS SO THEY’RE EASIER TO FIND I KEEP FORGETTING I’M SORRY <\\\\3

Regardless. This is so radical. I mean home girl woke up,and found out bout what? 10 minutes later? That her youngest sister was a baby. AND SHE SAW IT FIRST FOR HERSELF 🫣 But at least she was remorseful?? Took all that but hey, it worked. Baby steps people,baby steps (pun entirely intended).

Thank God Agustín was there, cause with the way Mirabel reacted to Alma, God knows how she woulda reacted to Isabela 🌚

How do react to that 😮‍💨 and never say never‼️‼️‼️ clwarly they were given another chance fora reason, but maybe she’s too in shock to realize that 🤠

[itsscromp]

Idea! Insomniac Peter and Reader (Peter's sidekick since even before Miles) talking just after taking down Fisk? (Would prefer Peter and reader's relationship to be platonic or found familial, but that bit's up to you.)

Insomniac Spider-Man x Reader

I love this idea so very much !!!!, Reader would ask so many questions and peter would have so many stories to tell. Word count:912

"Finally off to Rykers huh ??" You said as you landed on top of the police van alongside peter.

"You know, I think you've got more enemies in there than I do."

"If you think this will be more than a minor inconvenience..."

"Whoop-- gotta go" Peter then swinged off.

"But hey, Good luck Willie, I have a feeling you're gonna need it." You finger-gunned him as you joined Peter and swung off.

"Idiots !!! I'm the one who kept order in this city !! One month !! In one month you'll wish you had me back !!" Fisk shouted at you both before then being transported to rykers.

Now for the backstory part of this, You and Peter Parker have been best friends since you two were in school, Both doing everything together and being there for each other. You were the first person he revealed himself as Spider-Man to, and not too long ago, you too have been bitten by a radioactive spider, You were excited and scared at the same time. But Peter was with you every step of the way. You two were now a crime-fighting duo, you did try to opt for 'The Spider-Pals' But that motion was shut down. But anyway off track, Fisk was your first supervillain and you couldn't be any happier.

"Peter did you see that ??!!" You said excitedly as you caught up to him.

"I did, I'm so proud of you dude !!" He smiled brightly under his mask.

"YAHOOOOOOOOO !!!!" You pulled off an air trick before stabilising yourself.

Peter has never seen you this happy and excited before, it was practically infectious.

"YEEEEEHAWWWW !!!" He barrel rolled, joining you on your excitment.

"I can't believe I did it, My first super villain."

"And there'll be plenty more to come, don't worry buddy"

"Say, I always wanted to ask, What was the first super villain you ever fought ??"

"That is an excellent question y/n, one I will happily answer over pizza"

He then rang tony's and got the usual rooftop delivery.

"Oh that looks so good"

"I love you, But now I must destroy you" Peter then scoffed the first slice down.

As you two ate the pizza, Peter told you about the very first villain he ever fought as Spider-Man.

"So, back when I first started high school, vulture decided to pay a little visit, you see his old research partner, Greg Bestman taught at ESU. Vulture tried to take Bestman out, I tried to stop him"

He even did some of Vulture's voices but ended up coughing shortly after.

"Sorry, that's my best vulture" *ahem*

"Anyway, continue" You bit into your pizza as you listened into the story.

"I'll tell you what y/n, That fight was hard, Then, just as I thought I might actually win. Vulture's evil twin brother showed up to help him !!"

"What... I don't remember him having an evil twin" You giggled.

"Yeah... No, he actually rope-a-doped me. I was exhausted, and He was barely winded, but man it felt like two vultures"

"Wow... This fight really was tough"

As he continued on with his story of the vulture and his "Evil twin brother" You two shared laughs, oh how he knew how to make you smile.

"That fight taught me I'd always be a kid from queens at heart, But I could carry that strength anywhere, To Manhattan, to the West Coast. Heck, even to Symkaria. Weird to think, But I owe it all to an old man in a bird costume, I should really write him a thank you note, but anyway. That my dear y/n, was the story of my first supervillain" He smiled and puffed his chest out proudly.

"Woah... That's so damn awesome !!!" you really were mesmerised by how well the story was and how wise peter was too.

"Have you also ever thought of voice acting, you could be pretty good in a video game" You playfully punched him.

"Unless they make a full-fledged version of Speed Nonagon, I won't by lending my talented voice anytime soon"

You giggled again and looked out over into the city.

"I really wouldn't be here today without you Pete, You helped me through so much even before I became like you" You smiled at him.

"We're a little team y/n, Spider or no spider. Heck you saved my bacon many times I could count from my run-ins with flash"

"He was such a jerk, But yet again like you said about vulture, I guess without flash we wouldn't have met."

"You know... That is kinda true actually" He smiled

"Maybe I should write him a thank you note... Nah I think he gets the memo" You chuckled.

"Your probably right buddy, I wouldn't have this any other way though, Your my best friend through and through" Peter smiled and raised his fist for a fist bump. "Don't leave me hanging"

"Well..." You toyed with him

"Not on my watch y/n, come ooooonnnnnn"

And you gladly fist bumped him, both giggling.

"Your too much man" You smirked as you watched the city go by until peter's phone rang.

"It's Captain Watanabe, she needs to see us" He then got up and put his mask back on. "You ready Spider-pal ??"

"I'm ready Spider-Pal" you patted his back and the two of you swinging to the chinatown police station.

Oh you two would have so many adventures together, so so many.

a/n. I love insomniac peter so damn much, he's such a lovable goofball !!!

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[ariesgamesandminis]

A long overdue "New Site" update…it's a little long, but PLEASE READ IT, plus there is a double surprise buried in the post. Consider it a little bit of a treasure hunt to make you read!

First up…to those out in Nebraska with that tornado, my thoughts are with you all.

Sorry to everyone on the delay with an update, I've been VERY hard at work migrating everything I could over to the new site, and sadly…there were migration issues which I expected there would be, but not the amount, or the errors. I tend to be a bit overly anal with how I want things done, how I want them to work and be presented to the customer, and as such…I keep finding little things here & there I don't like and want changed. Either I can change it or I need whomever on the support team to change it, and due to that, sometimes it just takes a little bit longer. So while I wait…I search for bugs, and I squash them. I'm one of those…let's make it better than 100% kinda guys.

ANYWAYS…I wanted to let you all know, as I said previously, we are very close to launching, and there are a few things to be aware of!!!

When we launch, I will simply take down the blocked landing page you currently cannot get past, and I will not announce it because when I do…I'll be sending out account activation emails first. PLEASE WAIT FOR YOUR ACCOUNT ACTIVATION EMAIL!!! This will be an automated send, I just click a button and it will send out batches of emails for me. The problem here is that I have almost 10,000 customers currently (this fact blew me away, but some them I think are fake accounts and some have never purchased anything for whatever reason)…this process will take a while to happen!!! It might be a day, it might be two days, just please wait otherwise you will have issues logging in.

While I was able to import 100% of the customer accounts, I was NOT able to import about 90% of the addresses. This is due to multiple accounts having 5 or more addresses listed as ship-to listings due to moving around the country, being stationed overseas in the military, etc. For sanity reasons, I did not pick an address to import as most would likely be the wrong one…but that won't stop you from checking out. Just fill in your address when you check out, it's that simple.

Again…as we have posted before, we COULD NOT migrate your Wishlist (items you saved in a list you want to purchase later on), and we COULD NOT migrate your Waislist (items that were out of stock at the time and you would get an email when they were restocked).

The Wishlists were just S.O.L. for exporting data. Nothing I could do there.

The Waitlist for Back In Stock Notifications however…I was able to export, but there is no way to import that data, and as such, I have a file with over 700 entries on it, so I would HIHGLY suggest if you had something you were signed up for to be notified when it comes back in stock…EMAIL ME so I can send you the list. There's too many people on the list to email them all out, it would cause everyone's email servers to mark me as a spam bot and then you'd never see the store emails.

During this migration, we've received the 4 NEW releases from Iron Wind Metals which are the new Rifleman, Archer, Night Gyr, and Jade Phoenis A variant as well as a full restock on Iron Wind Metals miniatures, 2 restocks on Catalyst Game Labs including Clan Invasion Salvage Boxes, The Army Painter which included restocks on the brand new Fanatics line of paints, Gale Force Nine including the new Atlean Steppes bundle from Thunderhead Studio, some Pokemon items, and various other pieces.

We've also got 4 whole new lines showing up! 2 of which are ALREADY STOCKED RIGHT NOW (one has been requested over and over and I'm going against my better judgement in expanding this section of the store, so we shall see how that goes), another will hopefully be stocked in the next 2-4 weeks…and the other about 2 months from now!

The past shipping issues of the US Postal Service and UPS overquoting SEEM to be gone. I've tested this EXTENSIVELY and after roughly 10 years of dealing with that, and being stuck in the middle of those services blaming the shopping software and then the shopping software blaming those services…I just cannot be happier to move on from that problem. It was a MASSIVE pain in the butt, and I'm happy to have that behind me. However I will say this, I did do some tweaking to the shipping system on the new site which may, or may not need to be reverted. Only time will tell as more orders come in, but my testing says it's solid…but customers always find a way to make me pull what's left of my hair out as they submit an order I never thought possible! LOL

Local Pickup is now an option for ALL U.S. based customers…so if happen to be traveling from California and are passing through Kenosha WI…we can accommodate that, but as with the previous system, we will email you to arrange a time & date that works for all of us!

U.K. customers…sorry, but you guys still have to get past that dollar threshold to have shipping options show up. My best advice as always…DO GROUP PURCHASES!!!

Germany…yes, I know, you're still starving for stuff. I'm working on it, but it's not easy due to language barriers with companies out that way…but yes, I'M WORKING ON IT!!!

Lastly, and this is a recent development, we will be expanding our offerings of Digital STL files! We are going to do a little expansion there, just to see how it works out. This was literally a "just last week" thing, which I'm working on the interface now for and that pushed things back a day or two, so sorry on that. More on this in the coming weeks.

With all that said…we plan to open in the next couple days (best case scenario), and start those account activation emails rolling out. So keep an eye out on your emails!!!

[oh-my-may]

I finally got around to play Cosmo Canyon! Took me a while to get there bc family stuff and i was feeling a bit under the weather some days, but today I'll finish the protorelic quest and then do the side quests and that was it for Cosmo Canyon...

Thoughts on story: RED (or should I say Nanaki?) IS SO CUTE LEGIT A TEENAGE BOY TRYING TO PASS AS AN ADULT MAN the way I was hollering. The city is beautiful and very huge... Felt very overwhelmed when I first got there. Generally loved the focus on Red, had lots of questions about him originally. Now I wonder how old his kind can get if he's like 15 in human years but actually 48... huh. The story with his parents is pretty basic i guess? Didn't really blow me away, i could see the turning point coming from a mile away but it was very sweet nonetheless. Really enjoyed the gameplay during the trial, the Gi enemies WERE SO COOL. Also loved that we could scale walls with Red, I wish we could do that in the open world... The final boss almost kicked my ass because I'm not used to playing Barrett and Red actively, BUT THEY SLAYED. Shoutout to Titan, homeboy always comes through for me. Also couldn't help but be reminded of Genshin's Misty Dungeon event during the trial. And the mines of Moria. My weird interests meet in the most unusual of circumstances sometimes. My brain does that occasionally.

Also, the Gi Nantaak first scared the shit out of me. Then he kinda reminded me of Vision (you know, from Marvel) but that also wore off. The random sequence with Zack almost made me cry again. Whenever I see him on screen something just urges me to. Him and Biggs also looked so damn good during that entire scene I took so many screenshots 😭 I'm still so confused tho... Biggs ended up in Zack's timeline because of the Whispers/ the Wind for whatever reason? Really have no clue where they're going to take this part of the story, I just know it's going to hurt me so bad in the end.

I also let out an audible ' Hear me out' when they showed Seto... I'm not sorry.

On the exploration side of things... The flying chocobos are so confusing to me, I started the chocobo quest right as I landed in Cosmo Canyon and I immediately failed the first part because the controls as you fly are just??? Therefore everything that was placed so that you could only reach it through flying was a bit of a pain at first. I figured it out eventually, but i still haven't continued that quest... Also saw a bunch of people complain about this so at least I'm not the only one struggling lol.

Everything Else was very enjoyable tho. Go to explore team was Cloud, Aerith and Cait Sith this time and I gotta say Cait's Moogle Magic skill is busted I was so surprised when a full ass Ifrit suddenly stood on the field 😭 Bahamut Arisen was a surprisingly quick clear after I got all the Intel, Tifa just died in like the last minute. A worthy sacrifice tho. Immediately tried Bahamut while beating the Jabberwock, huge Dragon Battle was crazy insane to watch. He's busted. Put him on Cait for now.

I haven't finished the protorelic quest yet, but I didn't expect it to have this much lore right from the get go... So you're telling me Wedge is dead in Cloud's timeline???? Just like that?? The whispers killed him? MY BOY. Also Yuffie's friends (?) - the NPC's for that quest - immediately reminded me of Bella's High School friends in Twilight 😭💀 They just look like they belong in these movies idk

Now I wonder if the last two parts of the protorelic quest are gonna be as much a pain in the ass as Fort Condor was... I managed to clear the first two stages quite quickly so I hope it's gonna be okay with the AI helping me for the configuration part...

So that's that! Will definitely finish Cosmo Canyon tonight and then maybe start Chapter 11... Just a few more steps until meeting Vincent. Heard Chapter 11 was quite long so it'll probably take me the whole weekend to finish next to work and all. My goal of finising this game before easter is probably gonna be left unfulfilled... But I'd rather take my time.

Will add screenshots to this post after I get home from work!

[yeyinde]

Hi I sent in the original moss ask and I just wanna say it turned out so much better than I could’ve even imagined, like I don’t have words to put towards how fucking important that piece is to me. You captured the feeling and vibe of forests and seas so well, I mean I literally live in Alaska but you painted such a perfect picture of it. And the fae aspects, the macabre undertones, the longing, the nostalgia,, like I really can’t even describe it all cause I get choked up. It almost feels like you wrote it for me personally, like I know I requested it but you detailed how the forest and the rivers call for you in an ancient romantic rumbling and I didn’t even mention that, I’ve felt that all my life with no words to put to it. I especially loved the part describing all the little trinkets he leaves, and how the house starts to overgrow with vines and moss. It was so so perfect. It felt like a song that manages to touch all the parts of your soul and describe how you feel perfectly even when you can’t quite decipher it yourself. I’m sorry to ramble. It just means so so much to me, thank you for writing it. Easily my favorite piece of literature I’ve ever read and I can’t believe my stupid little moss bed thought inspired such pure poetry. I can’t go visit the forests or the ocean as much as I used to because I’m chronically ill, and I miss them more than anything, so this feels like it helped heal something in my longing heart. Thank you.

Thank you so much for this. I needed to have a giant cry before I could really sit down and respond, and so. Here I am. Stuffy nosed and red-eyed and still weeping.

The imagery you used in your ask, about the soft bed of moss below your fingers and the forest arching above you, was really what made everything click into place. I could see this massive shadow over everything, enclosed by a huge canopy. The cold forest floor. The soft echos through the treeline. And when I got to Alaska, I immediately knew which forest I was going to use. It did end up becoming a mishmash of all my favourite things - especially Giant Sequoia, which does not natively grow in Alaska - but it was largely meant to capture the same hauntingly beautiful atmosphere of Tongass National Forest, particularly the inlet near Ketchikan. I'm a bit obsessed with the PNW - especially the coast with these massive trees so close to the waters.

The fae aspects were very loose, admittedly 😅 I wanted to go full out with that aspect of mythology but I couldn't really see Price giving them something to eat, so I switched it to something modern. A pub that might not even exist, and a drink you can't refuse. Little things showing up at your doorstep that are too pretty to throw away so you put them inside but now they have a life of their own, and grow up the walls and across the floorboards. The haunting sense of something urgently calling you. A whisper of your name in a quiet room. The wind howling at you between the trees.

It got a bit dark, in many places, but I loved the idea of Price pining away while you have his chiseled heart locked in your childhood jewelry box. The most precious trinket of all.

I saved the ask to my phone so I could keep coming back to it while I wrote everything down, trying to capture the atmosphere you inspired. The lush descriptions of the forest, the moss, the sense of ease and languor - it immediately ensnared my attention and made me almost desperate to write this down as quickly as a I could.

This would not have existed if you didn't send in such a beautiful ask, so it is, without a doubt, yours. I just put the words together.

I agonised a lot over whether or not you'd enjoy this, so seeing this in my inbox honestly made me so incredibly weepy. I felt like it was taking ages to put together, but ahh, the way you laid out the scene made me fall in love with the idea of this little world trapped between the unforgiving ocean and a sprawling forest full of secrets. It wasn't a want, but a need. I needed to make this come to life. I needed to try and capture an iota of beauty you painted, and to try and transcribe the feelings I felt reading it into this. I'm honestly so incredibly happy I managed to do that for you. Thank you so much! I'm gonna go cry another river now 🖤

[livums]

Hi Liv! Happy WBW!

(Have I sent you a question today? I don't think I have, but if I did: oh well, have another) I'm curious about the Old Magic in The Romance of the Demigods. What can it do?

Can anyone use it, given they possess the knowledge, or is it a gift you're born with? Or maybe it's bestowed upon you?

Hi Sam! Happy WBW! Thank you for the thoughtful question! 😄💜 I am VERY excited to explain it because it's a pretty important (and, I think, interesting?) part of the story.

So in-universe, what is meant by "Old Magic" is essentially any magic that is "of the Earth", or in other words, comes directly from a human invoking Fae magic (via the traditional means . more on that in a second. god this sounds so...).

To make it quick to understand, the domain of Old Magic can generally be thought of as elemental magic--especially as the elements relate to natural phenomena (natural disasters, the weather, plant growth, etc).

The Fae are the only creatures who are known to have native magic. Before and for a time after the arrival of the Sonnelic faith to Brennenhaugh many centuries ago, when Man and Fae intermingled far more frequently, it was incredibly commonplace for Fae to lend their magic to humans in return for... a number of possible things: amusement, further human devotion to the two Fae-gods, The Bit, a future favor, renown... things of that sort. But mostly that second thing. Usually.

And humans, for their part, used Fae magic for any number of purposes: a more fruitful harvest, to ease the winds or the sea for a voyage, to burn down the house of someone who insulted your mother, to call or halt the rains.

Maybe humans were more trustworthy, back then.

Fae magic is bestowed via the Fae's Name--inscribing a portion of the Name in Fae Script/sigil on the human's body allows the human to channel the Fae's magic, the intensity/power commensurate with the portion of the Name inscribed on the human's body.

It's something of a risk for a Fae to allow a human to channel their magic. There are old romantic stories of Fae and humans falling in love, and the human being entrusted with the Fae's full name, but those are fables--no Fae would do such a dangerous thing. Especially... times being what they are...

(putting the rest under the cut by god this got so long SORRY!)

A couple of Things about the Fae magic:

-It is theoretically possible for a human to inscribe a portion of a Fae's Name onto their own body, and so channel the Fae's magic without the Fae's permission. Typically, this is a very bad idea, because pissing off a magical creature who could burn your whole town to ashes is not, like, wise. But it's theoretically possible!

-The extent to which a Name must be "inscribed" in order to be effective is... flexible. In the old days, it was most common to use paint, or coal dust, or blood, or ink. Though lightly scratching with a nail or tracing with a finger may be effective to a minor degree, in a pinch.

-Related: the channel remains "open" for as long as the sigil remains on the human's body. The most efficient and long-lasting method is, of course, a tattoo of the Fae's Name. Nobody does this. Doing this without permission is a great way to get one's limb taken off by a jilted Fae.

The way all of this interacts with Kesh is........ part of the fun of the story! Lol!

As the Church of the Sonnelic Host expanded in reach, influence, and power, more and more regions have become wary of or hostile towards Fae and Fae magic--what's commonly known as the "Old Way". The Old Way further maintains that the relationship between Man and Fae (and Man and Earth, more importantly) should be a reciprocal one. The Sonnelic thought holds that Man has a holy duty and right to maintain dominion over all that the Earth has to offer, including magic, for this is the purpose of the Earth.

But that's a whole 'nother story!

Anyways, to the end of establishing dominion over the Fae, the Paladins of the Host have concocted a way to utilize Fae magic without the risk and responsibility of channeling via Name. They do this by crafting weapons and talismans infused with Fae blood.

Thank you again for the question! I'm not sure if any of that made sense and I am not proofreading this response at all! 🤠 This turned out so much longer than I intended... LOL. Anyways!

[minteayoongimakesmewoozi]

have you ever thought abt a tanyame genshin au ?

oh BOY have i ever!!!!! i have a few wips of genshin au ayame written already since i got onto an unplanned hiatus (but the return is planned! it's just that life has gotten a bit hectic for me right now) but i won't be posting them any time soon.

but genshin au!!!! yeah!!!!!!!

i actually have two and i love infodumpinging about both teehee

kamisato clan retainer au

- ayame is a distant cousin of ayato and ayaka! a kamisato daughter married a higuchi son generations ago and as a result, the two families have always had strong ties. ayato and ayaka call ayame their cousin, but after all those centuries, the relation is tenuous at best.

- also ayame is older than ayato. don't ask me how many years, she just is

- but since ayato is the young master, he and ayame just speak to each other casually.

- ayaka calls ayame 'ayame-neesan' tho, so cute!

- when ayame is about sixteen, she goes to sumeru to study at the akademiya. this is efore the sakoku decree, but everyone can tell the wind is already changing in inazuma. she has to leave for the akademiya not long after ayato and ayaka's father passes, and she and thoma are friends!

- she never graduates tho

- after two years, she returns to inazuma to become ayato's retainer

- ayame and thoma are both the chief retainers. ayame has a more... intimidating presence than thoma tho, since she's in charge of the shuumatsuban with him. ayato doesn't need a bodyguard, but ayame is basically known as his most loyal guard dog anyway

- despite being ayato's personal retainer, she's actually from watatsumi island

- actually, ayame, tanjirou, zenitsu and inosuke are all native to watatsumi island!

- the higuchis did relocate to narukami island for a time - about the same time the kamisato clan was starting to decline. this means the kamados did the same, since u can't have a blacksmith without the charcoal burners close by

- when the sakoku decree is in full effect, the higuchis and kamados relocate back to watatsumi island

- yes, i'm saying that ayame stayed in inazuma city while tanjirou went back to watatsumi island 🥺 without ayame 😭 😭 😭

- ayame has a cryo vision. it appeared while she was at the akademiya, torn between her duties to the kamisato clan and her own personal goal of graduating as one of haravatat's brightest students

- (she also ended up dating alhaitham during that time, but that's a story for another time)

- as they grow up, tanyame kind of get into a big fight tho

- it has everything to do with ayame's loyalty to the shogunate even in the face of the vision hunt decree

- and also the fact that tanjirou joined sangonomiya's army and tried to get ayame to do the same, but she can't because she's a retainer of the kamisato clan

- think tanjirou's passive aggressive letters from fracture but over the span of years instead of weeks

- don't worry, they make up eventually. it's tanyame, after all

- but only around the time raiden shogun sees the error of her ways

- ayame, tanjirou, zenitsu and inosuke know gorou tho! inosuke and gorou are feral lil besties and zenitsu Suffers™️

- sorry zenitsu

- by the time genshin canon comes around, ayame, tanjirou and inosuke are about twenty-seven. zenitsu is twenty-eight.

- wow they're all adults fksnsksk

- ayame wears a navy blue kimono with white seigaiha and black tights. she has her katana - made by otouchan and niichan - on her left hip, and her cryo vision hangs off her sageo. her hair is in a half ponytail, but held up by a tama kanzashi with the kamksato emblem hanging from it. i haven't thought much of her outfit beyond that though. oh! and of course she has her pouch fixed to her obi!

- and here's a lil wip of retainer au under the cut!

"Not here," Ayame said sharply. "Inside. Now."

Thoma followed her without hesitation, throwing an apologetic grin over his shoulder. She was always so testy when there was danger afoot.

The moment the door of the Teahouse shut behind Aether and Paimon, Ayame spun around and delivered a kick – right to Thoma's ass.

He stumbled forward with a yelp, grunting when she kicked out the back of his knees. He landed with a groan, head snapping forward as she dealt a tight slap to the back of his head.

"Thoma," she growled.

Paimon clung to Aether, whose sword materialised in his hand.

"Step back," Aether commanded.

Ayame held up her hands in a non-threatening gesture, the sleeves of her cloak dropping down to her elbows to reveal her kimono.

"It's fine," Thoma yelped, a hand pressed to the back of his aching head. "It's fine. It's Ayame. She's one of us."

Ayame threw her hood back, blue eyes cool as they landed on the traveller.

"Outlander," she said coldly, "you've put my fellow retainer in quite the bind."

Thoma chuckled, shutting up when she smacked his shoulder.

"Fellow retainer…?" Aether repeated slowly.

Ayame mustered her composure and bowed stiffly. "I'm Higuchi Ayame, chief retainer of the Kamisato Clan and personal attendant to the Yashiro Commissioner."

Paimon gasped, hands pressed to her gaping mouth. "The Hammer!"

Ayame twitched. She never did like that nickname.

"Yes," she grumbled. "I suppose that's what they call me."

Aether lowered his sword, then sent it away.

"You're… not quite what I expected," he said.

Ayame rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I get that a lot."

She kicked the back of Thoma's knees once more when he tried to stand.

"I told you," she hissed, eyeing Aether angrily. "I told you! They can't get to the rest of us, so they went after you! Why don't you ever listen to me?"

Another swift thwack to the back of Thoma's head. Then another, and another.

Thoma let the first few blows rain down on him – he deserved that – but gripped her wrists when the blows lost momentum.

"It's fine, I'm fine," he soothed, slowly rising to his feet. "Everything worked out, hm?"

Ayame glared at him mutinously. "You're lucky Waka caught wind of what the Tenryou Commission was up to and had enough time to send me. If you'd just used your stupid head for once – "

"Maybe we should go," Paimon whispered loudly. "Paimon doesn't want to get in the middle of a lovers' quarrel."

Aether nodded. "Good point."

"And where do you think you're going?" Ayame snapped. "Stay. At least wait until the guards are more spread out."

"And don't call it a lovers' quarrel," added Thoma, releasing Ayame when it looked like she wasn't going to hit him anymore. "Ayame's already spoken for."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!"

Thoma grinned slyly. She hadn't said she wasn't spoken for.

"And I'm not spoken for. Quit telling people that."

Ah, foiled again.

harbinger au

- ahhhh the thing that started my genshin au kick

- higuchi ayame as the twelfth harbinger, codename: innamorati

- ayame has a pyro vision in this au, but with a cryo delusion hiding behind it

- as the lowest-ranking harbinger, she's often sent out of snezhnaya with tartaglia

- ayame and tartaglia are friends, although they would both hesitate to say so. they spend a lot of time together, and they spar often. it's rare to see one without the other

- ayame is the only harbinger who isn't given a new name by the tsaritsa. it's both a gift and a curse; the atrocities she commits as a harbinger can never be severed from her name. ayame knows that this is the tsaritsa's way of keeping her in line

- ayame still wears seigaiha, but the pattern has been dyed black and is almost indistinguishable from the dark blue base. she wears it as a haori and a coat, so there's fur lining the collar of her haori. her pyro vision is clipped to the breast of her customised fatui uniform, almost like a medal of honour. her hair is in a half ponytail, but there is a streak of white hair from her left temple - evidence from using her cryo delusion

- ayame and thoma still end up friends somehow. mainly because ayame's loyalty is still to inazuma, and thoma believes that her actions are still obscuring her loyalty to her homeland. he's the one who feeds her information about the inner workings of inazuma. there's a whole thing where ayato finds out about one of their meetings and ayame has to beat thoma up a little so ayato will believe that thoma gave her information under duress

- at some point, she holds her katana to thima's throat. she's so cool.......

[koofishy]

Happy Little Accident (I'm glad I met you)

(vmin au fanfic)

"Hyung!"

Some people turned at the shout, but most of them, like Jimin, kept walking, unbothered.

Maybe if the person had been yelling for a different reason, he would have stopped to see if any help was needed, but this guy just seemed to be trying to alert a friend, and that was none of Jimin's business.

And anyway, he was kind of late to his dance class, so. No stopping for random shouting dudes.

He rounded a corner and pulled his beanie lower on his head as a gust of wind hit him, making a shiver run down his spine. Wasn't Spring supposed to be warmer??

"Hyung!"

The guy was still at it? Who was he even shouting at??

At that point, the only possible answer to that question seemed to be someone with hearing difficulties, because one thing was for sure, the guy was equipped with the lungs of a whale. The whole street was echoing from his loud, deep voice.

"Hyung!!"

Just when Jimin was starting to have enough of the commotion and was searching for his earbuds in his pocket, he heard quickly approaching footsteps from behind. Someone was running in his direction.

With a mix of curiousity and annoyance, Jimin turned around to see for himself who on Earth was this person wrecking havoc on such a chilly, but otherwise very nice afternoon.

But the only thing he could make out was a tall blob of curly hair and brown clothes, before he was ambushed, the body of the stranger hitting him with full force, sending him to the ground with a painful thud.

Jimin lay on his back on the cold, hard sidewalk, the clouds on the sky above him looking down at him pitifully.

What just happened...

The guy, quite literally on top of Jimin, propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at him with a-

With a fucking pout??

"Yoongi hyung, why didn't you stop when I-"

He paused abruptly, mouth still open, eyes widening in shock, as he took in Jimin's utter confusion and slightly disheveled state.

He had a very symmetrical face, Jimin's brain noted for some reason. Very symmetrical, framed by curly, brownish hair, like a poodle's fur.

"You're not Yoongi hyung," the guy concluded after a moment, brown eyes still as huge as saucers.

"I'm not," Jimin replied, voice still a bit frail from the impact of hitting the ground. He felt like he hit his head too, otherwise he wouldn't have been stuck on how unique the dude's lip shape looked.

"Shit," said the unique lips, and Jimin snapped his gaze back to the brown eyes instead, that seemed more appropriate. "I am so sorry, oh my god! Are you okay?"

"Uh," Jimin said cleverly. "I think so?"

The guy got off of him and sat on the ground, looking at Jimin with gaze full of concern and a hint of embarrassement. Jimin sat up and touched his forehead, still trying to comprehend the situation. It's not every day you get hit by the most beautiful person you've ever seen.

"Does your head hurt?," the man asked, deep voice sounding worried, as he looked Jimin up and down. For injuries, presumably. "Is your vision blurry? How many fingers am I holding up?, " he shoved four long fingers in Jimin's face, almost pushing him back down again with the sudden movement. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, I'm okay, nothing's hurt!," Jimin waved his hand in dismissal, trying to calm the dude who was apologizing over and over again.

Jimin wasn't lying, he was used to falling. He was a dancer after all, for heaven's sake. He was just surprised by the sudden attack.

He told that to the man as well, who seemed to settle a bit at that.

"Still, I'm very sorry," he said, just to be sure. "I thought you were my friend, he has the exact same beanie as you!," he explained, pointing to the black fabric covering Jimin's head. Then, he bit his lip in hesitation, which made it a little hard for Jimin to stay focused on what he was saying. "To be honest, I'm new to the city, and I got so happy when I thought I saw my hyung that I forgot about everything else."

Now that activated Jimin's mother hen instincts immediately. This poor soul, lost in the big city of Seoul, all by himself...

"Where are you from?," Jimin asked, crossing his legs to sit more comfortably. The guy mirrored his movements, so that they were sitting face-to-face.

"I'm from Daegu," he smiled, his pretty lips forming a boxy shape. Jimin should have known from the dialect. "Well, more like, from a farm near Daegu," he corrected, making Jimin's eyes widen.

"You live on a farm?"

"Something like that, yeah," the guy scartched the back of his neck shyly. Jimin smiled at him.

"That's so cool. But I suppose it must have been a big change, moving here," he said, and the man nodded, something like relief sagging his shoulders at Jimin's understanding tone. "It was for me, too. I'm from Busan, I moved here three years ago", Jimin let a bit of his, nowadays rarely used, dialect seep into his sentence, making the guy smile at him, eyes twinkling.

"I've never been to Busan, but I've heard the ocean is beautiful," the guy said, and at that, Jimin pulled out his phone from his pocket and showed him the lockscreen.

A photo taken by his mother a few months back, when he visited home; him and his brother fooling around on the beach, the beams of the setting sun dancing on the waves, making the whole ocean sparkle, and painting the sky in purple, orange and red hues.

The guy made a low whistle.

"Wow. That really is breathtaking."

"It's not always like this, but yeah, it's nice," agreed Jimin. "Do you have pics from home? If you don't mind, of course, I don't mean to be nosy."

The guy pulled out his phone without a word, pressed a few things on the screen, and then Jimin came face-to-face with the cutest little Pomeranian he had ever seen.

"Oh my gosh!"

"His name is Yeontan," the guy explained, showing more photos of the little puppy, some of them featuring himself too. "He's back at home right now, but I'm planning on bringing him here when I get acclimatized to the place."

"He's adorable," Jimin commented.

"He is," the guy put his phone away. "Other than him, I could also show you pictures of chicken and geese, but I doubt that would be very interesting."

Jimin raised his eyebrows.

"Try me."

The dude looked at him a bit sceptically, but got out his phone again.

"Alright... This is Josephine," he showed Jimin a picture of a brownish hen. "She is the kindest of the bunch, she has only pecked me twice, and both was deserved. The others are reincarnates of satan, but in a lovable way."

They sat there for who knows how long, as the dude introduced to Jimin all twenty-five chickens on his farm, going into great detail about each of them. He talked in such an immersing manner, Jimin found himself clinging to every word, enjoying every second of the presentation. He also asked Jimin questions, mostly about animals, but as their conversation progressed, about other things as well, like his favourite type of music, and what hair style he preferred.

As the topic of dancing came up, however, Jimin's blood went cold.

"Shit," he exclaimed, glancing at the time on his phone. "Fuck, I'm so dead."

"What happened?," asked the guy, concern evident on his features.

"I'm late for practice. Again," Jimin put his head into his hands in distress. "My teacher's gonna kill me."

And he can't just tell her he was late because he was sitting on the sidewalk, looking at photos of chicken for half an hour with some hot dude he just met and doesn't even know the name of.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, this is all my fault!," the man said, a pout on his lips. But before Jimin could disagree, because actually, it was him who started the conversation, the dude's eyes glinted and he held up a finger.

"Hey, what if I go with you and explain to your teacher that you were late because of me? I have very convincing puppy eyes, they'll stand no chance against them," he offered, and Jimin had no doubts about that, but still tried to refuse. "Oh come on! I don't have anything better to do!"

"Anything's better than arguing with my dance instructor," Jimin muttered.

At that, the guy looked at him in the eye, gaze deep, making Jimin stop his agonizing and stare back at him, heart jumping into his throat for some reason.

"Then, think of it as me wanting to keep being around you. Because that's what it actually is," the guy confessed, making Jimin's eyes widen. "I really liked talking with you, and, if you don't mind, I would love to keep in touch and meet up with you again, as soon as possible. Maybe in a less chaotic way next time," he smiled, charming and bashful. Jimin could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. He must be completely red.

"I'd love that," he managed to say, and the man's smiled widened at that. Jimin couldn't help but mirror it.

After that, they finally got up from the pavement, the guy offering a helping hand to Jimin which he accepted shyly. The man didn't let go of him even when they were standing.

"I haven't even introduced myself, how rude of me," he squeezed Jimin's fingers in his huge grasp. "My name's Taehyung."

Jimin smiled at him, cheeks pink like cherry blossoms.

"Nice to meet you, Taehyung. I'm Jimin."

Taehyung's kind eyes were twinkling with happiness, and Jimin had never been more glad the Spring decided to get a little colder that day, making him wear a beanie, and, ultimately, leading him to this man, who seemed just as, if not more beautiful inside, than he was outside.

Even if all of this happened by accident.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed vmin being cute :) Don't be afraid to leave notes and comments, or share this fic with others, if you'd like <3 Find me on AO3 and Twitter (I write there too) and you can ask or tell me anything here - please be kind with that tho^^

[n41r]

A sudden afternoon thought hit me yesterday and just sticks with me after reading two small comics that gives me a bit of context of things, it's just a silly theory of mine that went on in circles and long descriptions. What if with whatever happened to Raisiya in new Chapter 7 brings in Star Warrior Light (at least from what I can understand by hearing his dialogue on JP gameplays) then prompts the time dragon and the purple cloaked prophet to intervine from making a different outcome, like essentially making an endless time loop with small variety of outcomes of different interactions and probably more? This got to me when I was listening to three different Raisiya's themes. The first goes on at a normal pace with intrumentals, most likely wind instruments yet continues on with different volunes without letting down the tempo. The seocnd goes on a bit slower but the wind instruments is changed to chorus, probably with the purple eye in his design. The third one felt like there's no more restraint left on the melody, going all in with adrenaline and full on rock. It's like as if he's urging for an outcome to happen and there's no more holding back the strongest abilities either side has to be, probably with how Light has a dialogue with him when facing against Raisiya. Then whatever Light wanted to accomplish in Raisiya's stead prompted both the time dragon and the purple cloaked prophet to intervine and prevent the future from changing... at least I think? Yep, I'm still drawing blanks on many things about Oreca lore so it's entirely my guess with many nudges from watching and reading JP contents.

As for my ask on this, are there any other interpertations of the players aka as Battlers/Master/Summoner in Oreca Battle? I like what you came up with and I still hadn't realized that until now, with how there's some fusions are limited as far as I know of. Hope it's okay and sorry for the long ramble there! Also is it okay if I reblog some of your posts?

Sorry the answer took awhile! I rarely touch the lore on the New Chapter series, so I needed time to read up some stuff from the wiki first and opening my twitter's bookmark for the other answer-

I read up on the JP fanwiki that the reason why Light appeared was because of Raisiya (thought it's unclear to me what the reason was-), it probably have something to do with what Raisiya knew about the future? There was also some mention about wanting to change the future, and that reason might be the reason why the time dragons and the Prophet Sybil shows up as well

An interesting take, tho! Thank you for sharing the bits of lore that you found out!

Oreca Battle OSTs, huh? I rarely touch them as well actually, I kind of afraid I will get too emotional listening to them- There is this one time I cried listening to Dia's theme song, I'm still unsure why I cried tbh-

And to answer your questions, I'm not really sure why, but I rarely see mention or interpretation of human battler at the JP community One of my interpretation was actually inspired by my mutual's tweets, but it looks like I didn't bookmark the very tweet that inspires me- But here are some tweets from my mutual from twitter, nefer_ty that also inspires me (I hope Nefer-san is okay with me sharing some of their tweets outside of twitter-) (1) (2) (3)

There is also this one cool Oreca Battle artist who makes some fancomic of their original Oreca Battlers, and they are amazing! I don't know if it counts as the kind of interpretation you're looking for, but I'm including their Pixiv link as well (x)

Also, please feel free to reblog my posts! I'm only keeping my self-insert stuff as un-reblog-able, but the other posts should be okay In fact, I'll be elated if you reblogged them, so please feel free to do so! ヾ(｡･ω･)ﾉ☆ﾟ

[night-garden-fic]

Chapter Three: A Mouthful of Quicksilver

(Read on AO3)

"Just doing my job.  Be well."

Chapter Three: A Mouthful of Quicksilver

     With a bit of uneasy apprehension, Russell slowly opened the Clinic's heavy door and stepped inside; boots clicking on the polished-clean floors as he moved to stand at the threshold of the examination room. Edward greeted him sight unseen, long hair shifting slightly across his broad shoulders and stately white-coated back.

     "Hello, Russell.  Go have a seat, and we'll get started in just a bit here."

     Somehow, he always seemed to know exactly who was coming, even with his back turned.  He'd explained it before, something about how each set of footsteps had a particular cadence, but Russell still found it slightly spooky.  To him, it felt like just another way in which Edward knew an uncomfortable amount about the body and its many mysteries.

     Seemingly awaiting a response—though not seeming to particularly care if he received one—the doctor continued arranging his tools.

     Words and breath momentarily stolen by the chill wind outside, Russell shook the snow off his damp hair, then got to work removing the outer layers of his clothing, folding them neatly and setting them aside.  Now down to a thin undershirt, he shivered a bit with the sudden exposure, though the Clinic was kept at a comfortable temperature.

     Think healthy thoughts.  Stop shaking.

     Russell sat down on a small stool and waited in silence, watching the slush on his boots as it melted down to a small puddle.  After a long, quiet minute, Edward turned to face him with an amiable smile.

     "...So!  What brings you in?"

     What the hell kind of question is that?

     Russell—who had arrived assuming this was all Edward's idea in the first place—didn't look up from the wet floor.

     "Well, you said you wanted to see me again in a few days, and seeing as that was a few days ago..."

     With that, a fraction of the tension in the room had dissolved.  Both men laughed, and Edward shook his head.

     "Right, right...  Sorry.  Force of habit, I guess.  Okay, how about this...  How are you feeling?"

     Russell shrugged, Once again, he wondered why Edward had even asked.  This time, it was because he had already begun taking Russell's vitals, and would surely know soon enough.

     Why do all this stuff if you can't just tell me how I am yourself?  Isn't that the point of coming here?

     "I'm all right, I guess.  Pretty tired."

     Edward placed a cold glass thermometer in Russell's mouth, which filled with a faint, yet sharp taste of disinfectant.  It made him crave a shot of clear liquor, nevermind that it wasn't even noon.

     "Yeah, you kind of look it...  Looking better otherwise, though."

     Russell—not wanting a mouth full of quicksilver and broken glass—figured it was best to simply answer with a shrug.  After a few minutes, Edward removed the thermometer and examined it carefully.

     "...Well, I'm sure it's coming along better than you think.  And no fever, so it's safe to say you aren't still sick."

     He placed the thermometer back in its glass of strong-smelling fluid, then took a few seconds to scrawl something on his clipboard.  After quickly double-checking the notation, Edward unwound his stethoscope and placed the cold chestpiece directly over Russell's anxious heart; positioning it carefully, avoiding all the sensitized patches of scarred tissue.  By now, Edward had them as well-memorized as any other aspect of the human anatomy.

     Russell waited for what he thought was a few beats, then cleared his throat and clicked his jaw before speaking.

     "I know, I know...  It just feels like I'm not bouncing back right."

     Translating that mysterious internal rhythm into a few cryptic numbers in hasty ink, Edward momentarily withdrew the stethoscope, then placed it on Russell's back.  It felt as though each touch sapped a bit of heat from his already chilled body.

     "Okay, deep breath...   Russell, we've been through this before.  Your body just needs a little extra time.  If you give it that, you should be fine."

     Still quivering reflexively from the touch of the metal, Russell strained to draw air to the very bottom of his lungs, then exhaled it all with a sigh.

     "I guess...  It just feels never-ending."

     Edward frowned slightly.

     "Well, you do sound a little scratchier in there than I expected.  Still better than last time, though, so I think you're on track."

     Russell turned his head into his arm and coughed, wincing a bit in surprise at the reverberation of it, and involuntarily picturing the pages of a water-damaged book; the way they stuck to themselves and disintegrated, and how, even if they could be salvaged, they never quite laid right again.

     "...Great.  Good to know."

     Whatever the results were, it seemed to Russell that Edward took a worrying amount of time to jot them down.  After a few tense minutes of this, the doctor finally took his own seat, carefully placing the papers and clipboard on his lap, one hand still delicately gripping his pen.

     "Any other problems, while we're here?"

     Don't bother.  You've been over this.  He can't do anything else.

     Feeling a bit desperate, and too exhausted to hold his tongue, Russell decided that he would bother.

     It's not like it can make anything worse.

     "I...  Haven't really been sleeping."

     He watched Edward's authoritative posture crumple a bit in dismay.

     "Russell."

     ...Okay.  That's worse.

     Admonished, Russell felt his own posture slacken.

     "I'm not doing it on purpose."

     Edward straightened up; his tall, solid body reinflating with its typical certainty.  A certainty that Russell usually found reassuring, but now could only perceive as a bit patronizing.

     "I'm well aware, but I also assume you're well aware that this is why your body might not be repair-"

     Russell cut Edward off before he could think to stop himself.

     "...Believe me, I know!"

     The harsh, almost pained note in his voice caught them both off guard.  The clock ticked three times in the thick silence that had fallen between them.  Russell dropped his head into his hands.  Cautiously, Edward reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder.

     "I'm sorry...  I know you know, and I know you're frustrated.  I'm just not sure what else there is to do.  The only thing you can do is try and learn to rest."

     Edward pulled his hand back to the clipboard, back to the realm of the measured and professional, away from the heart and all that roiling heat.  Russell sat up slightly; elbows on knees, still averting his eyes.  The five-fingered imprint of warmth was fading from his skin, leaving him cold again.

     "Yeah, well, that's not going so great...  Look, do you think we should just try Lamp Grass again?  Just enough for a few days, so I can make up some of the lost sleep and start feeling better?"

     Edward shook his head curtly.

     "Not a good idea.  Your lungs still aren't clear, and we just tapered you off your last course a month ago."

     Again, Russell studied the wet floor.

     "...Well, maybe I wasn't ready."

     Another shake of the head, Edward's dark hair rearranging itself on his clean white coat, like windblown branches across a pallid winter sky.

     "No, you were.  You started over-relying on it.  You always do."

     Russell sighed, propping his tired head on one fist.

     "...At least I was sleeping."

     Edward smiled.  Russell found it a bit ill-fitting to the situation, but somehow felt its warmth all the same.

     He cares.  He just can't do anything for you.

     "And you will again, I promise...  Anything else, before we wrap things up here?"

     Russell shifted uncomfortably on the stool, feeling for that old ache in his spine.

     "I've had this thing with my back, but that's pretty much it, I guess."

     Wordlessly, Edward turned around to rummage through a rattling drawer, then produced a small glass bottle of pills and presented it to Russell.

     "Salicin derivative.  Two pills should take care of it.  And I'll probably want to check up on you again soon."

     Well, at least it's something.

     Russell pocketed the bottle.

     "Thanks."

     Edward smiled yet again, with that same warm calm.

     "Just doing my job.  Be well."

~*~

     Now fully dressed, but still freezing in the chill outdoor air, Russell crunched through the fresh snow, searching his pockets for the tiny bottle of powder-white pills.  Once he had it in hand, he uncorked it, tapped three pills into his palm, and knocked them back dry as he walked, passing the Library without a second look.

     He decided that, cold as he was, he didn't feel like going straight home.

     With the pills on their scratchy way down, he rubbed at the knobby base of his sore neck.  His back had been giving him trouble the night before, it was true, but he wasn't quite sure why he'd mentioned it; aside from it feeling, in the moment, like a flailing grasp at some invisible lifeline.

     Because his back, for now, was calm.

     Meanwhile, Russell's upper body felt painfully misassembled; stiff and out of alignment from too many hours lying on pillows without relaxing and softening into sleep.  As he gently gripped each aching joint and muscle, he thought of them—almost involuntarily—in all of Edward's words.  Strange, dark words.  Ornate and floridly tongue-bending as an old mage's incantation.

     Cervical.  Splenius.  Thoracic.  Scapula.  Trapezius.

     Feeling along those tortured structures, reciting their names in his mind as though he could speak the pain out of existence, Russell remembered the surplus medical texts that Edward had donated to the Library, shortly after they met.

     They were a fine addition to the collection, and one that Russell found strangely compelling as he devoured them one after another; reading late into the night, the guttering candle flame causing the red-inked muscles and organs to twitch and shudder as though they'd come to life on the page.  Then the feeling—likely imagined—of his own viscera twitching in recognition of itself.  But, as captivated as he was in those breathless hours, Russell had never planned to revisit the texts, as they gave him an uneasy feeling.

     For one thing, he always felt the body rather sinister and slimy; much preferring the terrain of the mind, no matter how daunting his own could seem at times.  For another, there was something unseemly in the very act of breaking all that wet, vital chaos into tidy component parts.

     Though, he supposed, it explained a lot about how Edward thought.

     As if I could ever explain how he thinks...

     When Russell first arrived in Kardia, he and Edward had clicked almost instantly.

     It helped that the Library was next door to the Clinic, and that their mutual interest in scholarly pursuits gave them a good deal of common ground; their proximity and shared interests uniting them so quickly that it took a while for either man to realize that he'd just made a very good friend.  Or, perhaps, they just hadn't been conditioned to expect a friendship to form at all.  Neither of them had a particularly robust history in that area, so they found themselves playing companionship by ear.

     At first, it was easy.

     It was with great joy that Russell and Edward discovered they could speak tirelessly for hours; of ideas, of stories, of an eclectic mix of trivia and facts.  And, with greater joy still, they realized they were equally content to read together in effortless silence, broken only by the occasional clearing of a throat and recitation of a passage.  Of course, their many conversations eventually made it apparent that they had very different minds.  But their differences were still outweighed by their commonalities, so the ease—more or less—remained.

     Until, that is, it slowly became obvious that they had deeper, more painful things in common.

     Edward didn't seem to know how to speak of such things, unless he could couch them in the abstract, put each piece under a microscope until it was unrecognizable as part of himself.  Which suited Russell just fine, as he himself could never figure out how to talk about those things at all, at least not while maintaining any kind of composure.  But, beneath this mutual tolerance, there always simmered some desire to know.

     To reach across that last untraversable gap that remained, bearing one simple message: "We're the same.  You don't have to hide."

     But hiding was all either of them had ever known, so the two wounded scholars grew to share both an odd intimacy and an odd distance; ever speaking around a series of sinister lacunas and omissions.

     And this odd friendship, as one might expect, was made all the odder by the occasional clinic visit.

     Within those sterile confines, Edward sometimes pulled so far back that Russell wondered if they even really knew each other at all.  Rationally, he knew it was just professionalism, but he still sometimes wondered where their friendship went when he stepped through that heavy, groaning door.  And, for that matter, where it returned from when Edward swept into the Library barely a day later, eager to discuss Russell's latest recommendations.

     If Russell didn't know better, he'd swear Edward was talking to two completely different men.

     It feels like being taken apart.

     (Does he even know it hurts?)

     But if it wasn't for him...  And Sabrina...

     Russell brightened a bit, his frustrating thoughts of where he'd been giving way to comforting thoughts of where he was going.

     Sabrina will ease my mind.

     Sabrina will make me laugh.

     Sabrina might fix this blasted neck.

     He took care on the icy steps down to the beach, then slogged through the wet sand until he was finally at her door, where he didn't even have to knock twice before Sabrina flung it open, seemingly as eager for company as he was.

     "Russell!  Come in, come in..."

     She didn't really need to tell him, because she practically pulled him across the threshold herself.  Russell sank into the embrace; into the familiar scent of her dusky hair, somehow ocean-salty in all seasons.

     "Hey, Sabrina..."

     She brushed away the snow that had collected on his shoulders, and quickly pressed a hand to his flushed cheek.

     "Gods, you're freezing...  Go sit by the woodstove and get warm."

     Once again, Russell didn't really need to be told.  The walk to the beach was short, but he'd shivered the whole way there; having decided against long underwear that morning, back when he thought he was just stepping next door.

     Back when I thought a doctor might have whatever the hell I need.

     As he shed his outer clothes for the second time, Russell tried to clear his mind of stethoscopes and quicksilver.

     The running tally of my beating heart.  My insides, drawn up in red ink.

     (Leave it alone.)

     He laid the garments to dry on the back of an old chair that he assumed—judging by the untidy swath of woolen things in various sizes, piled nearly a foot high—was designated for this specific purpose.  Then he sank to the floor, letting the heat blast his bare arms until the trembling gradually stopped.

     Sabrina grabbed a freshly laundered but somewhat ratty blanket from the nearby sofa, threw it over Russell's shoulders, and went to rummage around in the kitchen.

     "Let's see what all we have here...  Did you eat lunch yet?"

     Russell adjusted the blanket, wrapping himself more tightly.

     "No...  I was actually getting a checkup before I decided to stop in."

     He decided against mentioning that he hadn't really had breakfast, either.  It had taken him a long time to get going in the morning, so he made do with a few bites of cold stir-fry, eaten in front of the open refrigerator.

     "...Oh?  Are you feeling better?  What'd Ed say?"

     Nothing I didn't already know.

     "Not much.  Just that I'm doing fine, I guess."

     Sabrina produced a few mismatched bowls, which Russell supposed were an assortment of cold leftovers on which she would work some kind of strange magic.

     "Well, that's good to hear...  You're certainly looking a lot better than I last saw you."

     Busy as she was with her blissful re-newlywed life, Sabrina had made time to bring Russell a few meals while he was indisposed, and otherwise mostly subsisting on cold medicine, and dusty tepid water from a glass on his headboard.  If nothing else, she was the kind of person who came through for you, and food typically factored in to how she accomplished this.

     Today, of course, was no exception.  He watched her swish around the kitchen, suddenly more aware of his own hunger than he'd been in days.

     "Thanks...  Haven't been sleeping so hot, though."

     Suddenly, he felt like he could go to sleep right then.  Something in the warmth of the stove, and the gentle, domestic din of another person going about their business.

     (You remember this, don't you?)

     But as soon as Russell thought to close his eyes and doze, Sabrina had taken her place beside him.  She gently placed a large wooden tray, stained from years of use in the Shack's restaurant, on the floor between them.  It held two plates, each with a few salmon rice balls and a heap of salad, and two cups of fragrant, steaming tea.

     Sabrina carefully lifted her cup and gently blew, casting ripples on the tea's dark surface.  It made him ache, how every part of her was somehow about the sea.

     "That's too bad...  Ed have any ideas for you there?"

     Russell sighed, rearranging the salad on his plate.  The greens were dewy and crisp, grown in the loamy soil of a cave where spring reigned year-round.

     "Apparently, I need to 'learn to rest.'"

     He winced at the sardonic edge in his voice, which hadn't been entirely intentional.  Sabrina chewed thoughtfully, then shrugged.

     "...Well, he's not wrong.  You're pretty tightly-wound."

     It took a few bites of rice for Russell to realize exactly how hungry he was, and a few more to make his stomach stop twisting.

     He began, if only slightly, to unwind.

     "I know he's not wrong, but I don't know what he expects...  We've known each other for years by now.  I can't even count how many times we've had that same conversation."

     Suddenly, Russell felt the frustration rising again in his throat.

     Glass, blood, quicksilver.

     (The warm impression of a hand.)

     He took another bite of his lunch, and it seemed to fight him on the way down.

     Sabrina, cool as the ocean floor, sipped at her tea.

     "I think he just expects you to feel better.  Probably wouldn't hurt you to expect the same."

     Russell thought it sounded like something Edward would say.  But somehow, it sounded less dismissive coming from her.

     Even so, he couldn't quite shake his glum mood.

     "...Not sure how much it helps me, either."

     The topic, like Russell himself, was exhausted, and the pair finished their meal in silence.  He took his last few sips of tea, then—rather conspicuously—began attempting to crack his neck.  Sabrina quickly took notice.

     "...You okay?"

     Russell grimaced slightly.

     "Yeah.  Just been a little sore."

     As always, that was all he had to say.

     Almost instantly, and with the sort of gentle familiarity that had never truly left their interactions, Sabrina had positioned herself behind him, and began working on his shoulders and neck.  Russell closed his eyes, trying to give himself over to the comforting sensation as she did her best to keep the conversation going.

     "So, what's new with you lately?"

     Nothing I would want to make your business.

     "Oh, not all that much...  Like I said, I saw Ed, and that's about all.  What about you?  Doing anything special for your birthday?"

     Sabrina was intently focused on working out a tight, snarled knot at the crook of Russell's neck.

     "Neumann's actually taking me north for two nights...  We're going to try ice fishing!"

     Right.  Neumann.

     Russell found it difficult to fully relax, knowing he could decide to swing by the house and walk in on them.

     "Well, I hope you have fun.  It certainly sounds interesting."

     I also hope he doesn't decide to eat lunch at home today.

     It had happened a few times before, and was as awkward as one might expect; Sabrina getting indignant, "he's still my friend, and he hurts,"  then Neumann getting protective, "let's not let him steal you from me a second time!"

     Inevitably, this odd play-fighting gave way to the two of them cheerfully flirting, while Russell—still aching—sat around like an old coat carelessly tossed on the floor.  An awful, almost queasy feeling; not the slimy jealousy of coming up second-best, but rather just wanting what she had, with someone.

     (Anyone.)

     What he really wanted to explain, in those strange moments, was that Neumann didn't need to worry, that Sabrina was just a physical person.  In life as a whole, and with her friends.

     Though, Russell had gotten the idea that he already knew, and that this—in combination with that whole business about the Chalice—was what had originally driven them apart.

     Just as it drove us together.

    Under the warmth of Sabrina's hands, Russell remembered how he felt when he first arrived in Kardia; his shriveled heart like a locked box, thrown to the bottom of a well.  He barely remembered how to be a person, let alone a proper lover, or a proper friend.

     To put a fine point on it, I was dead below the waist, too.

     It did not occur to him, as he was then, that it could be any other way.

     That is, until one strange-magic night somehow changed everything.

     Walking home from one of their frequent trips to the Pub, Russell and Sabrina both pleasantly drunk on red wine and the dazzling glow of a full late-summer moon...

     (Don't think about it.  It just hurts now.)

     Everything hurts these days.  Might as well think about something pleasant.

     ...That was the night, of course, that she impulsively kissed him on the mouth.  No small peck, but full and lusty, the velvet tip of her tongue gently parting his lips.

     It had lasted less than a second, but that was all it took for his sluggish veins to suddenly flush with red, living blood.  Before he knew it, they were under the pier, naked and frantic, making the most of the last warm night of the season.

     I damn near cried for joy.

     Back in the wintery present, as Sabrina's hands moved south to grip his upper arms, Russell began to remember something else.  Another moment of playful impulse, another world-shaking rush of heat and life.

     Never forget, she was the first to bind you.

     A lazy afternoon, a length of rope originally destined for a homemade fishing net.  Sabrina organizing supplies while Russell watched; feeling energetic and a little silly, the way he often did around her.  He knew his carrying on was disturbing her work, but neither of them seemed to particularly care, despite some mock protests on her end.

     It was all part of whatever game they were playing.

     Eventually, through a faint mist of laughter like the sparkling spray of the sea, those fateful words slipped out.

     "Russell, I will tie you to that chair!"

     He intimated that he wouldn't mind, and something in the air instantly shifted.

     Even through the suddenly charged atmosphere, the playful mood of that long-ago afternoon still carried them along, sunny and weightless as the ropes wound around his limbs, secure and comfortably snug.  With Russell safely fastened, and quiet at last, Sabrina returned to her tasks.

     He waited patiently for half an hour, hair standing on end, belly quivering and pulsing with that vital, living heat.  And, when she finally returned her attentions to him, well...

     I finished in less than a minute.

     Russell was snapped back to the moment by the touch of a soft hand on his burning cheek.

     "...What on Earth are you thinking about, blushing like that?"

     Sabrina laughed, a sound as soft and gentle as her fingers.  Russell joined in with a nervous chuckle.

     "Oh...  I guess I finally got warmed up, is all."

~*~

     Though the visit with Sabrina had briefly cheered him, Russell felt lonelier than ever now that he had found himself back out in the cold.

     The harsh wind chilled skin that had just minutes ago felt so warm beneath her kind hands, and his bones began to ache all over again.  The briefness of her presence only amplified the sting of her absence; the memory of that silly afternoon with the ropes bringing with it memories of countless other afternoons, other mornings, other long black-velvet nights.

     Russell was blushing all over again, the light flurries of snow melting on contact with his flushed face and trickling down his collar.

     Almost against his will, he recalled the strength and steadiness of Sabrina's lovely bronzed hands as she pressed him into the mattress and claimed him for her own.  The way the taut swimmer's muscles of her back would glide and undulate hypnotically just under the smooth skin.  Her tanlines, and the way his hands creased the soft swell of her hips as she straddled him.  The taste of her as she gripped his head firmly between those plush, powerful thighs...

     ...Okay, you need to calm the hell down.

     As Russell passed the Inn, he contemplated going inside, but ultimately decided against it and kept walking.  Lady Ann was probably working, and wouldn't appreciate him wandering in like a vagrant in the middle of the day.  Besides, he didn't want to appear desperate, even if he undeniably was.  And he was too divided; too filled with longing for another lover to give his Lady the unbroken devotion she relished and deserved.

     (Or you can stop in the Pub.  Just one drink.  Just to warm up.)

     Russell picked up his pace as he passed Spring Rabbit, which had just opened for the day, and looked invitingly dark and cozy.  He told himself that, though he had taken the morning off to accommodate his checkup, it was still the middle of the workday.  And, while he was undeniably a bit down, he wasn't that down; not step-out-to-drink-his-lunch down, with all its attendant chaos.

     (Not yet.  Not again.)

     He would just have to suck it up and try to get warm on his own.

     With a dejected sigh, Russell pressed his icy hands to the rosy heat of his cheeks.

     That, too, reminded him of Sabrina; of a now-distant night, just a week or two before they became lovers.  They had been sitting on the floor of the Shack, listening to records on Sabrina's phonograph as their children slept soundly upstairs.  To all appearances, it had been quite the lovely evening.

     Except, of course, for the fact that Russell hadn't slept more than six hours in as many days.

     Around midnight, without even realizing it, he finally cracked.

     He wasn't sure what exactly he said.  But apparently, it made so little sense that Sabrina's first instinct was to check if he was running a fever; gently pressing her cool palms against his neck and cheeks.  Sabrina, of course, was constantly touching her friends; for light guidance, or in good-natured jest.  But this was only the second or third time that she had touched Russell so tenderly, and something about it broke him completely.

     To the surprise of both of them, he immediately burst into tears.

     As it turned out, Russell wasn't feeling feverish, but Sabrina treated him almost as though he was; tucking him in on the sofa with a warm blanket and a cold glass of water, playing with his hair and talking in soft tones about nothing of consequence until he finally fell asleep.  It was all very startling—not to mention embarrassing—but, at that point in his life, it was exactly what he needed to rally and begin building himself up.

     He didn't want to admit that he might need something like that again.

     Russell sniffed weakly, eyes and nose stinging with the frigid air and incipient tears.

     He was approaching the Clinic, where this confusing downer of a day had begun.

     You only started getting checkups because of her, remember?

     In the early days of their relationship, Sabrina was always worried about something or other; about Russell's insomnia, or his headaches, or his thinness, or his touchy stomach, or his lethargy, or his generally dismal mood.  Even though the idea repelled him, she very much wanted him to get checked out.  Edward was a notably gentle practitioner, and—Sabrina was quick to mention—a trusted friend besides.  There was nothing, she insisted soothingly, for Russell to be frightened of.

     Russell could never quite make her understand that it wasn't exactly fear that kept him away.  He was just of the belief that he had endured quite enough medical poking and prodding for one lifetime; mostly at the hands of hurried military doctors, men in the business of determining who was healthy enough to die.  Whatever relief might be waiting on the other side couldn't possibly be worth submitting himself to yet more violation.

     It was obvious enough that all the hard living he had endured in the course of those long, bloody years had taken something of a toll on his constitution, but Russell wasn't sure if there was even anything to be done for it, and much preferred dealing with his own problems as they arose.

     But, in the end, he did have to admit he was having an increasingly hard time reading, and figured there was no harm in just getting his eyes checked.

     And then you had to go and faint.

     Drawing up his collar against the chill, Russell shivered with embarrassment as much as cold.  On that fateful afternoon, he hadn't even been out long enough to hit the floor.  But the helplessness and lack of control were still the stuff of his literal nightmares; especially when Edward laid him down on the bed and insisted on performing a full physical, with Russell lacking the strength to properly consent or forbid.

     Then the initial terror passed, and he realized that it was, perhaps, not the worst thing that could possibly happen.

     Edward really was, as Sabrina had assured, incredibly gentle.  He seemed to sense Russell's apprehension, and know exactly how to proceed; with a soft voice and light hands, never touching without asking first or moving ahead without explaining what he was doing.  And—most novel of all—he actually seemed concerned about his health.  Edward didn't care if Russell was combat-ready.  He wanted only for him to be well, as any good friend would.

     But that was then, wasn't it?

     Yes, that was then.  Before the years of endless problems with no clear solution drove a wedge between them, and Edward—at least in the doctor-patient aspect of their relationship—began to check out.

     Blood, glass, quicksilver.

     Russell felt the jagged shards rising in his throat again, but set his face in a benign smile as he stepped into the Library.

     "Hey...  You two been holding down the fort okay?"

     Cecilia, who was sprawled front-down on the floor and browsing a thick illustrated bestiary, nodded cheerfully.  Tori looked up from the stack of books she'd been shelving with a slight start.

     "It's b-been a slow morning...  Are...  Are y-you all right, sir?  W-what did Ed say?"

     "Try and learn to rest."

     "Be well."

     Russell cleared his throat.

     "That I still might need to take it a little easy, but I'm doing all right."

     Tori nodded understandingly.

     "It-it's fine if you want to take the rest of the day off t-to relax upstairs...  I've b-been running things all day already, so..."

     With a yawn and a stretch, Russell sank into his desk chair.

     "No...  No.  I've been wanting to get back to work all day."

     Tori smiled shyly at Russell, then went back to shelving.  Russell closed his eyes for a moment—just to collect himself—then took a long, aimless look around the Library, letting its familiarity soothe his tired, aching mind.

     His books surrounded him like a fortress of ideas.  Cecilia was still contentedly lost in her world of fascinating creatures.  Tori hummed to herself as she shelved; a little off-key, but merry and calming nonetheless.  The only slightly out-of-place element was Lynette, and even she had become a familiar fixture of late, taking refuge in the Library whenever the weather got too damp or chilly to abide her drafty cabin.

     You know that isn't the only reason.

     Actually, Russell didn't know.

     But he had seen enough to be a little suspicious.

     Lynette watched everyone in Kardia with an intent curiosity that, when one gave it some thought, made a lot of sense.  The way people led their lives in this scruffy little beach town was a far cry from what she must have been accustomed to, and Edward confessed to having done similar before he fully settled into the quiet village life.

     But the way she sometimes stared at Russell was a little different.

     It reminded him of nothing so much as the way he used to catch Tori looking at him, before she had gotten over that mortifying girlhood crush.  And yet, it was something else entirely, because Lynette's unspoken longings were actually age-appropriate.  It made him entertain things he didn't necessarily want to consider.

     She's a little like Sabrina, isn't she?

     No, not exactly.  But she cut a similar figure at times; with her choppy bobbed hair, and her general build, which was small-framed and trim but surprisingly solid and muscular.  Perhaps her body would feel similar in his arms, but her personality was completely different, so he couldn't imagine any farther than that.

     Curious?

     Russell blinked hard and faced the window, telling himself that he wasn't.

     (She's so commanding, there's a cold fire in that eye of hers, she's probably been drilled in so many holds and restraints, I wish I knew what her teeth were like.)

     A light snow was still falling outside, and Russell tried to focus on the slow spin of the drifting flakes.

     If she likes you as much as you think, it would be so easy.

     (You wouldn't have to sleep alone.)

     Russell grimaced.  He didn't want to be having these thoughts, and honestly didn't even want to be thinking at all.  Lynette was a near-stranger, and he knew he wouldn't have entertained this idea even in the most abstract sense if he hadn't been feeling quite so pathetically lonely.

     ...You are lonely, aren't you?

     He was.  But right then, it was Sabrina in particular that he was lonely for, and Russell wasn't stupid enough to think he could solve that by laying down with just anyone.  And, to him, Lynette was just anyone. The closest thing they'd ever had to a conversation was the brief exchange over that uncanny illustration.

     She could be anyone, but she's still someone.

     (I need someone.)

     Russell rubbed his tired eyes until he saw colors, then wearily stood from his chair.

     "Hey, Tori...  I had kind of a long morning, and I didn't sleep much last night, so I might go upstairs and take a nap."

     The shy girl nodded, a soft look of understanding in her wide blue eyes.

     "That's f-fine, sir."

     Without another word, Russell dragged himself upstairs, collapsing on the bed without even bothering to pull back the blankets.  He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, trying to keep the dreary grey light around him from invading his brain.

     (Someone.  Anyone.)