#Sophia in her letter at the end specifically mentions:

[xbraveheartx]

Just full of ✨ Thoughts ✨ over the development and progress from when you start the game to when you finish on how P/Carlo just evolves, and kinda just thinking on some internal stuff on how I would like to write him.

How you start and he's just P, he doesn't know his purpose, he just knows he's being called somewhere. Lost, alone, faced with peril and made to fight when he hasn't even stepped out of his "birth place". He wakes up and he's just handed a sword. And he fights. At the start he's very much this empty slate; A newborn stumbling through Krat, and despite the man who calls himself himself father saying stuff like "Krat isn't how you remember it--" He really doesn't 'remember' anything at all. What is there to 'remember', he wonders?

And then he starts to get the memories-- they're not his but also... they are? They feel so close and yet so far away; Foreign and yet familiar. And then he hears a name whispered: Carlo-- and his whole world shifts right from under him. He feels sick, the name makes his head spin. The voice to have said it makes his head spin all the more. And bit by bit. He remembers. Not all of it, but... he remembers enough.

And he's hurt by what he remembers.

But by the end of it, after he claims his own freedom, after everything is resolved, and he returns to the hotel, he doesn't feel fully like Carlo-- doesn't feel at all like "P", either. He woke up not too long ago, and suddenly his life is flipped in its entirety. He's neither, and yet he's both. He doesn't know who he is anymore, but the name sticks. It's all he has left, even if a part of him feels some strange form of imposter syndrome, somewhere deep down... But he doesn't like being referred to as Geppetto's Puppet, either. He's not a puppet, not anymore. He's human, albeit, a different kind of human.

So just Carlo, is fine with him, even if he's changed far beyond of who-- and what-- Carlo was.

'--an Ergo puppet can have a second life and become another kind of human--' He just needed now to decide just what that second life meant for him, now.

[andichoseyou]

genuine question: what do you like about the line "He jokes that it's heroin, but this time with an E"? i don't understand what it's supposed to mean but i'd like to :)

hi hi!!! this is one of my favorite lines from TTPD, so i would love to explain what i interpret from it. i've seen other people also say they were confused by it, and i've always wanted to write out what it means to me but just never have.

I love the lyric, "He jokes that it's heroin, but this time with an E," because it carries a lot of meaning, and brings closure to a specific theme that runs throughout the entire album.

When you add the letter E to the end of the word 'heroin' (a drug), you get 'heroine.' Here are a couple of different definitions of heroine:

So a heroine can be described as a woman noted for courageous acts, a hero, a role model, an icon, the main character, etc.

So the joke is that the other person she is singing about is telling her is that she is not heroin, but a heroine.

I like this a lot because there are a lot of drug references in Tortured Poets. The first track on the entire album, "Fortnight," is the first song to mention it: "I took the miracle move on drugs; the effects were temporary." This kind of sets the tone for how she talks about drugs on the album. She refers to this other person as a 'move on drug.' This can be interpreted as this person being temporary or disposable to her; she just needed to get a certain 'high' from him. I think many references in other songs suggest that this other person also saw her as a temporary drug. He used her up, took all he could, got the high he needed, and then disposed of her, leaving to find another 'drug' he could use. This ties into the line in Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: "You needed me, but you needed drugs more, and I couldn't watch it happen." This could be taken literally; this other person might have been on drugs and couldn't love her because all he wanted was to be high. It could also be interpreted metaphorically: initially, Taylor was a drug to him, but after he used her up and took all he could, he needed to find another drug, another high, another person to use.

Going back to The Alchemy, the line "He jokes that it’s heroin, but this time with an E" is super cool and really stands out to me because he doesn’t view her as a drug. He doesn’t see her as this short-lived high; rather, he sees her as an icon, a goddess, or a leading lady. He likes her. He’s not going to use her up like a drug and then discard her.

I also like it because he is saying that she is like heroin, so he does feel 'high,' but not because she is a drug. He likes her so much that he feels like he's high. He's basically... high on the love that he has for her... if that makes sense?

[lokiondisneyplus]

How Marvel officially added McDonalds to the MCU

On the very last day of filming on the first season of the Marvel Disney+ TV series Loki, executive producer Kevin Wright sat on the steps of The Citadel at the End of Time with costar Sophia Di Martino (Sylvie), and they started to chat about what might be next for her character. Not in any official script capacity, just as fans of the story they’d just finished filming. 

“This character had been on a decades-long, maybe centuries-long revenge mission, and the classic trope of those stories is that it’s all-consuming and she’s not thinking about what comes next,” says Wright. “Now she has this moment of opportunity, where is she going to go?”

Di Martino thought about it for a moment, and said, “She’d probably be pretty hungry.

There are more than 13,000 McDonald’s across the United States right here in 2023, and untold more across the multiverse. In a new campaign launched this week, the fast-feeder gave Marvel and Loki fans a peek at its own cameo in the series’ upcoming second season, set to launch on October 6.

“As Featured In” is the Golden Arches latest Famous Orders meal campaign and, instead of being tied to a particular artist or character, it celebrates all the instances in TV and movies that McDonald’s has appeared or been mentioned by characters: Friends, The Office, Seinfeld, Space Jam, Coming to America, and many, many more. But at the center of the campaign is Loki, one that hasn’t even happened yet, which is probably appropriate for a show that revolves around the multiverse and many different timelines. 

The meal itself—a choice of a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets, Quarter Pounder with Cheese, or Big Mac, with medium fries, a Loki-branded Sweet ‘N’ Sour Sauce, and a medium soda—is, like the Famous Meals before it, nothing all that special, but that has always been the point. The genius of Famous Orders is that it drives customers to McDonald’s core menu items rather than a limited-time stunt. There is, of course, also a merch collaboration, this time with streetwear darling Palace Skateboards. The packaging features QR codes that customers can scan to get fun Loki content and buy pieces from the Palace collaboration.

Long after his conversation with Di Martino on the Citadel set steps, Wright and his team were developing season two, and they were finding it difficult to pick up a new Sylvie storyline. She had just killed He Who Remains in season one, where does she go? 

“When we stayed in the view of character, this woman who went on the run as a child, had been running through time, a fugitive of time, living in apocalypses, never being able to relax or slow down, the novelty of walking into a 1980s McDonald’s looked appealing,” say Wright. “You play a Little League game and go to McDonald’s. You go to a kid’s birthday party at McDonald’s. Someone like Sylvie would never have experienced that, and would be really taken by that.”

Marvel Studios has been a brand partnerships factory since Iron Man first ate a Whopper in 2008. Typically these things happen when there is a finished script, and producers go through it with the studio’s brand partnerships team to see where opportunities may be. A car chase, you say? What brand of car should we use? Maybe an Audi?

But this latest collaboration happened in reverse. A 1982 McDonald’s was specifically written into the script, so Wright approached Marvel’s partnerships people to talk to the brand about helping them out with the details. “I was worried that McDonald’s would think we wanted to do something ironic or make fun of them,” says Wright. “But we were selling an earnest story, a love letter to nostalgia through a character’s eyes who will see all of the novelty and joy of it.”

He needn’t have worried. “When I pitched it, our internal team said, ‘Uh, you realize we have a partnership with McDonald’s already, right? The fact we’re going to them wanting to do something makes it even better.”

Around that same time mid-last year, McDonald’s marketing execs were on a tour of sorts, meeting with content creators and creative teams at studios like Disney about the brand’s interest in participating in cultural moments beyond the typical product tie-in. That’s when the call from Marvel about Loki came in.

“We tend to embrace things like this,” says McDonald’s global chief marketing officer Morgan Flatley, “which we feel can be an opportunity for us to learn, especially because we felt that between Marvel and Loki, there was a real willingness to take their rabid fandom and mix it with a fan truth around McDonald’s and bring them together.”

The fan truth Flatley refers to is of McDonald’s as a congenial gathering place, a common experience for so many people. “Sylvie’s storyline perfectly aligned with how we think about our brand in terms of providing comfort and familiarity,” says Flatley. Familiarity is the key to the emotion of nostalgia and shelter that Wright was aiming for in the story.

That same familiarity is indicative of a brand so ubiquitous, it’s become a cultural touchpoint. Hence all the McDonald’s references in TV and movies. There’s a reason McDowell’s works as such a big bit in the classic comedy Coming to America. We all get it.

That all sounds great, but many brands get nervous or overprotective when they aren’t in full control of the creative. Not that long ago, McDonald’s was among them. The success of Famous Orders, allowing artists and partners like Cactus Plant Flea Market to play with its brand logos and characters, and the passionate response from fans—along with the sold-out merch and boosted sales—has given Flatley and the brand more confidence than ever in what she calls “sharing the pen.”

“I’ve become a big believer that if we lean into the right kind of creators in the right cultural phenomenon, and loosen some of our control on the brand, magic will happen,” says Flatley. “A few years ago, I don’t know that we would have felt as comfortable handing over key aspects of our brand to be part of a storyline like this, but today we’re really aware of the authenticity of our brand and the role that it can play.”

Wright is very familiar with the pitfalls of ill-conceived brand partnerships, and the impact they can have. “Wayne’s World was making fun of this stuff 30 years ago,” says Wright. “When it’s done poorly, it looks like business not driven by story. I don’t think that was ever a concern for us, mainly because we knew it was being driven by our story, and the more McDonald’s partnered with us, the better we were able to service the story.”

Multiversal marketing? Let’s see McDowell’s try that.

[oakleystreet]

L Y R A     B E L A C Q U A

DÆMON: Pantalaimon, a pine marten.

BOND: Split.

HAIR: dirty blonde.

EYES: blue.

AGE: 6 months during LBS. 10-11 during NL. 12-13 during TSK and TAS. 15 in Lyra’s Oxford. 20 in TSC.

BIRTH: 1985. (between July, August and September, according to the Timeline).

NATIONALITY: Brytish. (English).

STATUS: Alive.

Lyra Belacqua was born to Marisa Coulter and Lord Asriel, a product of their affair.

After Marisa’s husband, Edward Coulter, tried to kill her and was killed by Lord Asriel, who then lost everything he had, Lyra was taken into government custody and then placed at the Priory of Godstow in Oxford by Lord Nugent, the head of Oakley Street.

There, Lyra was taken care by the nuns for a couple of weeks before the Great Flood happened. As she was being hunted by Gerard Bonneville, a physicist who wanted to get hold of her to likely trade her for scientific freedom to research Dust, Lyra was rescued by Malcolm Polstead and Alice Parslow, and they set out in Malcolm’s canoe, La Belle Sauvage, for London.

During their time in the flood, Lyra was taken by the Sisters of Holy Obedience, but was promptly rescued by Malcolm. Eventually, they reached a fairy island and met Diania, a fairy who tried to steal Lyra by feeding her fairy milk. Malcolm tricked Diania and recovered Lyra, and once again they were back in the Flood, on their way to Lord Asriel in London.

When they arrived in the city, the CCD forces that had been looking for them were caught in a conflict, as Lord Asriel and Oakley Street agents made their way to rescue Lyra and the children. Lord Asriel returned with them to Oxford in a gyropter, and left Lyra under the protection of Scholastic Sanctuary at Jordan College. There, Malcolm left with the Master of Jordan, the Alethiometer he took from Gerard Bonneville, which would pass into Lyra’s possession ten years later.

“Secundum legem de refugio scholasticorum, protectionem tegimentumque huius collegii pro filia mea Lyra nomine reposco.” Asriel said. “Look after her.” “Scholastic Sanctuary? For this child?” “For my daughter Lyra, as I said.” “She’s not a scholar!” “You’ll have to make her into one then, won’t you?”

—  Lord Asriel, chapter 25, La Belle Sauvage.

Lyra grew up in Jordan College, under the guardianship of Dr Carne, but personally being cared for by Alice Lonsdale. She had a rather carefree life, being an natural leader and befriending most children from the region, from gyptians to town kids to college children. At one point, Lyra was responsible for invading the Costa family’s boat with her little gang of children and she often played war games with these particular groups of children. At the College, her actions were observed by Bernie Johansen, the half-gyptian pastry cook, who reported back to the Costas, who then reported to John Faa, as a favour to Lord Asriel.

She grew up believing Asriel was her uncle, and he made brief, sporadic visits to see that she was well cared for. Lyra was informally educated by the scholars from Jordan, and she had very little interest in learning as well, and as a result her education was flawed, filled with gaps, and yet in certain areas unusually specific, as Jordan College was meant to be a higher education institution.

When Lyra was ten or eleven years old, she sneaked into the Retiring Room out of curiosity, but ended up seeing the Master of Jordan poison the decanter of Tokay meant for Lord Asriel. Upon Asriel’s arrival, Lyra revealed herself in order to save him from drinking the poisoned wine and Asriel employed her as a spy during his presentation to the scholars, hiding her in the cupboard. During this meeting, Lyra was introduced to the concept of Dust and she saw the City in the Sky in Lord Asriel’s photograms.

(to be continued)

Lyra, prior to her daemon settling, had the innate skill of reading the Alethiometer without needing to consult the books. This skill was likely attributed to her status as child of the prophecy and she lost it after her return from the Land of the Dead and Pantalaimon’s settling.

Lyra is considered very small for her age. She is also said to be strikingly beautiful, enough to draw the attention of passersby.

During their adventures, Pan and Lyra had to separate when she visited the world of the dead. By doing this, they acquired the skill of separating like the witches do.

Lyra still takes Alethiometer classes with Dame Hannah Relf. She also had a brief dalliance with Dick Orchard - the boy who could spit further than anyone else - who also happened to have been a childhood crush of hers.

Lyra uses the name Silvertongue among friends, although she is still legally and widely know as Lyra Belacqua.

Her Alethiometer was given to her by the Master of Jordan, after Malcolm gave it to him. It had belonged to Gerard Bonneville, who stole it from a monastery in Bohemia; the monks had also stolen the Alethiometer from a traveler who had taken shelter with them. The history of the instrument is tied to the fact it had been often stolen, Lyra being the first owner in a long time who had actually received it as a gift. (TSC, chapter 7)

Lyra can use the new method of reading, but it makes her feel sick and often refuses to use it. She is yet to understand the connection between the method and the daemon.

Lyra’s major is unclear, but she wrote an essay at one point about the Patterns of Trade in Arctic Region with particular reference to independent cargo balloon carriage (1950-1970) (click here to see the Extra letters from OUATIN). In that same letters she mentions “Econ Hist,” and how it must be that subject as there is no other way to examine her knowledge about the alethiometer. It can be assumed she was majoring in Economic History.

At one point, Lyra mentions the Count and Countess Belacqua, her alleged parents who died in aircraft accident. It is unclear whether they were real people or made up by Asriel to cover his own identity as Lyra’s father.

DÆMON RELATIONSHIP

Chaotic, friendly, constant banter, harmonious. Good communication and synchronized behaviour in feelings and actions. (HDM)

Chaotic, aggressive, constant disagreement and sheer unhappiness. Lack of synchronization in feelings and actions; lack of communication. (TSC).

FAMILIAL TIES

Lord Asriel: father.

Marisa Coulter: mother.

Marcel Delamare: uncle on her mother’s side.

Madame Delamare: grandmother on her mother’s side.

Dr Carne: legal guardian under scholastic sanctuary.

FRIENDS & ALLIES

Roger Parslow

Miriam Jacobs: colleague.

Hannah Relf: mentor.

Malcolm Polstead: former teacher, ally.

Alice Lonsdale: caregiver and friend.

Iorek Byrnison: friend.

Serafina Pekkala: friend.

ROMANTIC TIES

Will Parry: old flame.

Dick Orchard: old flame.

ENEMIES & RIVALS

Olivier Bonneville: rival.

Father MacPhail: enemy.

Father Gomez: enemy.

Pierre Binaud: enemy.

AFFILIATIONS

Jordan College: safe haven.

Oakley Street: allies.

Bud Schlesinger.

Anita Schlesinger.

The Eastern-Anglia Gyptians: allies.

Farder Coram.

Ma Costa.

John Faa.

St. Sophia’s College: alma mater, educational.

Magisterium: enemy (during HDM), antagonistic (during TSC)

Consistorial Court of Discipline: violent.

La Maison Juste: antagonistic.

The League of St. Alexander: suspicious.

The Daemonless People: friendly.

Princess Rosamond Cantacuzino: friendly.

Vaclav Kubiček: friendly.

Nur Huda el-Wahabi: acquaintanceship.

[locktobre]

Could you expand on your idea of Emily Willows seeing/communicating with ghosts? (sorry for asking so many questions hdhfhhdhf I really like Barbie, especially PCS)

Oh boy, that’s a doozy... I honestly don’t feel like I have very much, as I haven’t had the idea for very long, but I’ll talk about what I do have! (I guess I came up with it last year, but for me, that isn’t really a long time.)

I’ve mentioned before, but I debated for a long time about even bringing Reginald and Isabella back, bc it has a lot of implications about life and death in the barbieverse. I’m currently operating on the assumption that while ghosts can exist, as souls trapped here on the mortal plane, if they ever cross over to the great beyond--that’s it. They’re gone, for good, and can’t ever be brought back.

Now, that goes against Marie’s appearance in Christmas Carol (which I used to justify having ghosts in the first place), since she clearly wasn’t hanging around that whole time... But as I mentioned the other day, Eden is actually a lynchpin in my barbieverse (the Brilliant Echo timeline, specifically). The universe would unravel if she ended up in that bad future, so an exception had to be made for Marie to come back. It was a one-time-only deal, and not something that can be done by just anyone. Certainly not Emily, in any case. (I’m still debating on who facilitated the Marie visit, as it could be one of two ppl. It might end up being both of them working together. But that’s way down the road.)

Anyway, I joked the other day about the possibility of Emily seeing more ghosts, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll end up doing that. Having ghosts at all feels like it raises a lot of questions, and I don’t really want to open those cans of worms, so setting very rigid rules about it seems to be the best compromise. And even aside from that, I don’t think a lot of ppl would even become ghosts in the first place; I really do like the classic rules of sudden/violent deaths and/or unfinished business being the reason they stick around. So she’ll most likely only ever see Reginald and Isabella, and her power will probably never expand in any way. I could change my mind later, but right now, that’s what I’m thinking.

And also, just like... seeing the two ghosts is more than enough drama, honestly.

The way I envision Isabella is very specific, but basically, she struggled a lot with paranoia and she’s very guarded. It got worse after she died, due to her being convinced she was murdered, but she had actually made some progress due to going to a therapist for the majority of her death. (Yes, I send a ghost to therapy. Yes, her therapist knows she is dead.) She managed to get to a place of... not really no paranoia, but much less. And then, she finds out that she was, in fact murdered, so suddenly all of her fear feels VERY justified, and that’s a huge setback. So her 18 years of trying to deal not only with her anxiety but her grief over the death of her child suddenly feels like it was all for nothing. She was murdered and her baby is alive and she missed her daughter’s entire childhood.

On Reginald’s side, he had always tried to support Isabella as best he could, but the one thing he was adamant on was that his sister would not murder them. Like, she’s mean, sure, but murder? That’s a step too far. Especially after seeing her with students, he knows that she can be cruel, but killing her own brother and his family? Her queen? She wouldn’t! She couldn’t! And then he finds out that she did, so not only does he feel duped for believing that she wasn’t capable of it, he feels guilty for not being on Isabella’s side all those years. Isabella doesn’t exactly hold it against him that he didn’t believe her, since she’s well aware--especially after therapy--that her fears were not always rational, but it is kind of an ‘I told you so’ moment that neither of them ever wanted to be true. And obviously, he’d grieved for Sophia, too.

On the side of the living, Sophia is thrust into a role she never wanted and now has a million responsibilities she wasn’t prepared for, and she’s got to deal with all of the princess stuff while also having to deal with the re-opened investigation into her parents’ murders and Dame Devin’s subsequent trial. Her life isn’t her own anymore, it belongs to everyone else. And she doesn’t even know how to feel about Reginald and Isabella. And she especially doesn’t know how to deal with everyone comparing her to Isabella, her appearance, her mannerisms--is anything really her? Is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of her life, being compared to her dead birth mother that she doesn’t even remember? How is she supposed to deal with that?

So when Emily first stumbles across Reginald and Isabella, they’re still reeling. They desperately want to reach out to Sophia, of course, but they know that they’re really in no position to talk to her right away, nor is she ready to see them. Or even if they should reach out to her--would it help her to know that her parents aren’t really gone? Or would they only be serving themselves?

And there’s also the question of if Sophia is the only one they should talk to. Should Reginald tell Delancy that she still does have one family member left who’s good and believes in her capacity to change, that he knows she doesn’t have to become her mother? Should Isabella speak to her father and half-sisters, and tell them that she’s wanted to reach out to them for 18 years? The more ppl that know a secret, the greater the chance that it will get out--altho, in this case, probably no one will want to broadcast the fact that they’ve spoken to a ghost, but still.

And kind of in the middle of this is Emily, who’s 13 and in no position to be moderating this kind of discussion. She wants everyone to be able to talk to each other, for the family to be reunited, but she understands that it’s a multi-sided thing. She offers up the compromise of acting as a mouthpiece, if they don’t want to talk to anyone directly (since ghosts can manifest themselves at will, if they wish; Emily’s special bc she can see them in their state of rest), but even that doesn’t do much good. As far as anyone else knows, she’s obviously never met Reginald and Isabella, so she can’t exactly say with authority that they would be proud of Sophia, or that Isabella misses her father, or anything like that. It would just sound like a platitude.

I don’t even know what side I’m going to come down on, tbh. It’s such a multi-layered discussion, especially with Isabella and her father--he’s already grieved for her, so is it fair to tell him she isn’t (quite) dead? She now knows, firsthand, what it’s like to grieve a child and then to suddenly find out that child is alive and that she’s missed so much--and she would be putting her father in that same position. Is it selfish? Or is it more selfish to never reveal herself, especially with the way that she died angry at him, since he carries that guilt around, even if she ended up moving past it (in therapy). I may end up compromising on that front, and have Isabella write a journal or a letter, something that Emily can “discover” in the palace and pass on to Isabella’s father. Maybe.

As for Sophia... It’s trickier, but I’m leaning toward her finding out. Maybe not for awhile, it might take years, but I think they would eventually tell her. She might be the only one, tho... But then, at some point, does Nicholas need to know? Especially after they’re married, is it a secret that still needs to be kept from him? And, again, I don’t think there’s a single good answer, bc it’s just... such a weird quandary to find oneself in. There’s pros and cons to every side.

So... That’s where I am with Emily and ghosts, right now. And that’s why I feel like just the two is enough, bc it just dominoes out so quickly and becomes a LOT of emotional turmoil and moral dilemmas. As such, Emily will also end up seeing a therapist at some point, for sure, but all things considered, I think she’ll end up being remarkably well-adjusted lol.

[impressivepress]

MATISSE AND RUSSIAN ICONS: The Metaphysics of Pictorial Space

"He paints 'images'" and in these "images endeavors to reproduce the divine. To attain this end he requires as a staffing point nothing but the object to be painted (human being or whatever it may be) and then the methods that belong to painting alone, color and form." ---- Wassily Kandinsky, writing about Henri Matisse [1]

Matisse’s Introduction to Russian Icons

  There is a remarkable convergence between the work of Henri Matisse and that of the Russian icon painters. Our topic in this essay is precisely this convergence, and not the influence which icons may have had on Matisse. In the case of an artist of Matisse's caliber, influences -- although present and not without interest -- are superficial compared to that which gives quality to the art; because at a deeper level, every great artist is original, in the sense that the art draws its strength from direct contact with nature - and in Matisse's case, with nature at her deepest level, where one drinks from the very wellspring of being, of existence. That is why Matisse said that to be an artist one must rid oneself of prejudicial habits of vision and learn to look at life with the eyes of a child, and draw one's strength from the existence of objects. [2]

  Matisse was already moving in a certain direction before he went to Russia, and the icons he saw there made a strong impression on him because he was ready to see them, because he was travelling on a path that converged with them. As Matisse himself put it, "You surrender yourself that much better when you see your efforts confirmed by such an ancient tradition. It helps you jump over the ditch."[3]  It is not wrong to say that the icons influenced Matisse; but it is truer, and more to the point, to say that they confirmed his originality.

  A certain kinship can be noted between ancient icons and Matisse's paintings even before the artist visited Russia. The Painter's Family was finished just before Matisse left for Moscow in October, 1911; yet the brilliant reds and black-and white checkerboard patterning are already reminiscent of icons. Matisse had very likely seen icons in 1906 in the exhibition organized by Sergei Diaghilev as part of the Salon d'Automne, and was probably familiar with more examples of iconography through reproductions. Interest in icons was "in the air" at that time. The 1911 Salon des Independants included works by several contemporary Russian artists working in a neo-Byzantine or archaic style; Guillame Apollinaire said they seemed to have "fooled the centuries."[4] Painters and patrons of contemporary art in Russia at this time, like Riabushinskii and Oustrukhov, collected icons.

  The Conversation was another picture painted before the trip to Moscow. Shchukin, writing to Matisse on August 22, 1912, said of this picture: "I often think of your blue painting (with two figures)... It reminds me of a Byzantine enamel, its colors are so rich and deep."[5] Matisse's first exposure to Byzantine art may have come through Signac. When the divisionist travelled to Venice and saw the Byzantine mosaics in San Marco, he decided to change his dots to squares. He brought back a number of postcards which he doubtless showed his disciple in St. Tropez. The impression of Byzantine mosaics seems to have stayed with Matisse. After his death, several photographs of the interior of Hagia Sophia were found pinned to the wall of his apartment in Nice.

  Matisse arrived in Moscow on October 23, 1911. The next day, he visited Ilya Ostroukhov, painter and collector and "patron" of the Tretiakov Gallery, whom he had met in Paris, and asked to be shown his collection of Russian Icons. A day later Oustroukhov recounted the incident:

   "Yesterday evening he visited us. And you should have seen his delight at the icons. Literally the whole evening he wouldn't leave them alone, relishing and delighting in each one. And with what finesse! ... At length he declared that for the icons alone it would have been worth his while coming from a city even further away than Paris, that the icons were now nobler for him than Fra Beato... Today Shchukin phoned me to say that Matisse literally could not sleep the whole night because of the acuity of his impression."[6]

  "From that moment on, "writes Pierre Schneider, "Matisse spent all his time going around to visit churches, convents, and collections of sacred images, his excitement at the first encounter not having diminished one iota. He shared it with all who came to interview him during his stay in Moscow." [7]

  On Oct. 31, Ilya Ostroukhov wrote to D.J. Tolstoy, the curator of the Hermitage Museum: "Matisse is here. He is deeply affected by the art of the icons. He seems overwhelmed and is spending his days with me frantically visiting monasteries, churches and private collections." [8]

  "They are really great art," Matisse excitedly told an interviewer. "I am in love with their moving simplicity which, to me, is closer and dearer than Fra Angelico. In these icons the soul of the artist who painted them opens out like a mystical flower. And from them we ought to learn how to understand art." [9] What is one to make of this expression of heartfelt admiration for the old Russian icons? From these icons "we ought to learn how to understand art." This is a very strong statement. It sounds exaggerated. Yet, Matisse was habitually reserved and cautious in his statements, not prone to exaggeration. Our endeavor in these pages may be defined as an investigation of the meaning and validity of this assertion.

  "From them we ought to learn how to understand art." Not one particular kind of art, but art in itself. The icons offered Matisse a revelation of what art is. This goes deeper than stylistic "influence." To speak of Matisse imitating or being influenced by icons is to miss the point. His relationship with them is on a deeper level. In them he has recognized, in an especially pure form, the essence of art. Art is, for Matisse, essentially a manifestation of the life in which both nature and the artist participate. Throughout his career Matisse was a truly original artist. This does not mean that one cannot find in his work what are commonly called "influences" of other artists, in this case the Russian iconographers. It means that Matisse's art is directly rooted in the place where art originates, in the wellspring of being which we mentioned at the beginning. Precisely because he strives to be true to nature, Matisse converges with the icon painters.

  We know that before and after his trip to Moscow, Matisse responded enthusiastically to other forms of what were known as "primitive arts" – Persian miniatures, Japanese prints and African sculptures. But the icons held a special importance for two reasons.

  The first was articulated by Matisse in several interviews in Moscow. On Oct. 27, he praised the monumentality and majesty of the Kremlin churches, and the reporter added: "The pure, rich colors of the old icons, their sincerity and immediacy, seemed a genuine discovery to him." Then he quotes Matisse: "This is primitive art. This is authentic popular art. Here is the primary source of all artistic endeavor. The modern artist should derive his inspiration from these primitives." [10] Matisse confided to another interviewer: "The icons are a supremely interesting example of primitive painting. Such a wealth of pure color, such spontaneity of expression I have never seen anywhere else. This is Moscow's finest heritage. People should come here to study, for one should seek inspiration from the primitives. An understanding of color, simplicity -- it's all in the primitives. It is the best thing Moscow has to offer. One should come here to learn because one should seek inspiration from the primitives."[11]

  Matisse links the "primitive" quality of the icons with their authentic popularity. That is to say, this art was still in use and understood popularly. It worked. In Matisse's view, art is not to isolate itself in museums, but to "participate in our life."[12] Decades later, in a letter to Sister Jacques-Marie regarding the Chapelle du Rosaire at Vence, Matisse wrote: "I would like it to be useful. Do you think it could be useful?"[13] What does Matisse mean when he speaks of art "working" or being "useful"? This question brings us to one of the key connections between Matisse and the iconographers. In his conception and theirs, the role of art is therapeutic. It seeks to "relieve," to "alleviate," to "heal." How it does this we will see a little further on, but for now let us just say that the instrument of this "healing" is light."[14] "Light," says Schopenhauer, "is the most delightful of all things; it is the symbol of everything that is good, everything that heals. In all the religions of the world it symbolizes eternal salvation."[15] (Let us remember that, etymologically and theologically, salvation means healing.) The icons held a special importance for Matisse because they are an art whose specific function is to heal whoever contemplates them, by means of light; and this use is truly popular, understood by all the faithful who approach them. Presently we shall look into the nature of pictorial light, color and space, and then we shall see what this light has to do with healing.

  Before we get to that, however, we can surmise a second reason for the special importance which the icons held for Matisse. Whereas Persian miniatures and Japanese prints were foreign to the West, icons were part of the heritage of western Europe until the late middle ages, in Romanesque and early Gothic painting and sculpture. The whole of western medieval art developed in direct or indirect dependency on Byzantium, and there was a rich exchange of formal ideas between East and West throughout the Middle Ages. Furthermore, the art of the great Venetians -- Titian, Veronese and Tintoretto -- has roots in Byzantine iconographic art, the influence coming by way of Crete. The Venetian legacy, with its Byzantine formal roots, was in turn widespread in western Europe, coming to Matisse via Chardin, Courbet and Cezanne. Thus while the icons were, like other eastern painting, impressively and revealingly different from "the art of the museums," they were nevertheless a significant part of the family tree of western art. This peculiar balance must have been especially stirring to the sensibilities of the young painter who had spent so much time studying western masterworks in the Louvre.

Space in Russian Icons and in Matisse: preliminary considerations

 It is often said that icons and Matisse's late paintings and cutouts, and for that matter Japanese prints and Persian miniatures as well, are "flat." Such a statement can be either ambiguous or mistaken, depending on the understanding and intention of the speaker.    The intended meaning of the word "flat" may simply be "unmodelled." Indeed, the modelling or shading of volumes in these works is usually slight, and is sometimes suppressed altogether. They are executed largely in line and flat tone. But that does not at all diminish the plenitude of the volumes! Volume is expressed in better ways. As Matisse explained to a visitor in his studio, who remarked on the volumetric quality of the Barnes Mural, "Yes, but in reality the painting is made in flat tones, without any gradation ... It is the drawing, and the harmony and contrast of the colors, that form the volume, just as in music a number of notes form a harmony more or less rich and profound according to the talent of the musician who has assembled them."[16] So let us not say that these pictures are flat, even if we only mean to refer to the flatness of the tones; the paintings are emphatically not flat.

  Sometimes Matisse's pictures and the icons are said to be "flat" because they lack Albertian perspective -- as if space were dependent upon such perspective. This, too, is an error, as will be made clear by our investigation of the nature of pictorial space. This investigation will begin in the following paragraphs, and will be taken up again and deepened later in this essay.

  Our experience of space in the world is largely kinesthetic, dependent upon the sensation of our bodies' movement, our feeling of the forces of gravity and equilibrium, and the ever-varying correlation between optical stimuli and eye movements -- including binocular convergence, accommodation to focal distance and parallax.[17] This elementary fact is forgotten by those who think that space is achieved in painting by optical verisimilitude, with its shading of volumes and its atmospheric and linear perspective approaching the effect of photography. An arbitrary "snapshot," the epitome of a purely optical impression, gives us a jumble of variously shaped tones removed from their spatial context. From being accustomed to viewing such flat images, whether in photographs or in academic "realist" paintings, we develop a "space blindness." The eye seizes upon recognizable details and, by a conventional sort of "leap of credulity" accepts the flat image as referring to things one has experienced in the world. The difference between flatness and space collapses.

  The opposite happens in great paintings. There our experience of space is heightened. In a masterpiece of Matisse -- or of Rembrandt or Raphael, Giotto or Picasso or Mondrian, for example -- a feeling of depth is created by the pushing and pulling of shapes and colors. All the lines and tones are organized, at once musically and architectonically, in such a way as to give the viewer movement into and out of depth; and this depth is made palpable by the tension between it and the flatness of the pictorial surface. The real experience of space in a painting is not quantitative, dependent upon the suggestion of deep vistas; rather, it is qualitative, dependent upon the resonance of the tension between the flat plane and all the pushing and pulling planes of color. The difference between flatness and space is not collapsed in painting; it is amplified.

Two Views of Matter

  The belief, so rampant in the academic art of the nineteenth century and still widespread today, that a painter can "copy" appearances -- as also the trust we put in the camera, a machine, to reproduce the way things look - betrays a tendency to reduce the material world to mere materiality, something which can be considered apart from spirit. When the churches of the West split from the Christians of the East at the end of the first millennium, they set off on a road of increasing rationalism, gradually losing the mystical vision of the world which the Orthodox in the East retained. Descartes' dualistic philosophy is a significant milestone in the western trend, although the direction was evident centuries earlier, notably in the medieval scholastics. Descartes held that matter is mere extension and that spirit is only found in our own minds or in heaven. To the extent that painting was influenced by this notion, it had to deal with the world, its light and its space, externally, mechanistically. To be sure, there was never any lack of allegory, or poetic or religious subject matter; but things were ontologically impoverished, rendered inert.

  The Orthodox tradition knows no separation between nature and grace such as prevails in western thought in the wake of scholasticism. In the eastern view, as expressed from ancient times by Gregory of Nyssa, Maximus the Confessor and a host of others, matter is thoroughly and dynamically irradiated by the divine energies, apart from which matter would not exist. These energies are uncreated; they are God Himself. By the "luminous force"[18] of His logoi or "thought-wills" God creates and orders, sustains and governs all things in an intimate, dynamic relationship with each creature, operating within the creature. This inner life of nature blazes forth as what Saint Isaac of Syria calls "the flame of things." St. Maximus says: "The unspeakable and prodigious fire hidden in the essence of things, as in the bush, is the fire of divine love and the dazzling brilliance of His beauty inside every thing."[19] Icons are above all concerned with this inner life, this luminous force, this fire within creation.

  Matisse similarly insists on the necessity for artists to be in touch with the inner lift of things. "The time spent at school should be replaced by a free stay in the Zoological Gardens. The pupils would gain knowledge there in constant observation of embryonic life and its vibrations. They would gradually acquire that ‘fluid’ which great artists come to possess." Matisse, like the icon painters, recognizes the need for a certain asceticism, a purification of the power of vision, in order that one may see the light and life within nature. Raymond Escholier describes how, relaxing in his garden in Nice, Matisse smiled at the crystal-clear light: "Everything is new," he said, "everything is fresh, as if the world had just been born. A flower, a leaf, a pebble, they all shine, they all glisten, lustrous, varnished, you can't imagine how beautiful it is! I sometimes think we desecrate life; from seeing things so much, we don't look at them any more. Our senses are wooly. We feel nothing. We are spoiled. I think that to really enjoy things, it would be wise to deprive ourselves of them. It is good to begin by renouncing, force oneself from time to time to take a cure of abstention."

The artistic process

  Matisse describes the work of a painter as an inner process, culminating in the rhythmic and life-filled expression of an internal vision:  

      The first step toward creation is to see everything as it really is [dans sa verite], and that demands a constant effort...       A work of art is the climax of long work of preparation. The artist takes from his surroundings everything that can nourish his internal vision... He enriches himself internally with all the forms he has mastered and which he will one day set to a new rhythm.       It is in the expression of this rhythm that the artist's work becomes really creative. To achieve it, he will have to sift rather than accumulate details, selecting for example, from all possible combinations, the line that expresses most and gives life to the drawing; he will have to seek the equivalent terms by which the facts of nature are transposed into art....       That is the sense, so it seems to me, in which art may be said to imitate nature, namely, by the life that the creative worker infuses into the work of art. The work will then appear as fertile and as possessed of the same power to thrill, the same resplendent beauty as we find in works of nature.       Great love is needed to achieve this effect, a love capable of inspiring and sustaining that patient striving towards truth, that glowing warmth and that analytic profundity [depouillement profond] that accompany the birth of any work of art. But is not love the origin of all creation? [20]

This love, which is necessary for artistic creation, has a divine aspect:

      Nothing is more gentle than love, nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing larger,  nothing more pleasant, nothing more complete, nothing better in heaven or on earth -- because love is born of God and cannot rest other than in God, above all living beings.[21]

  The rhythmic quality of lines, tones and shapes, which Matisse insists on, is necessary for experiencing the vital energy at the heart of existence. The rhythms are perceived in nature by the artist who has purified his vision so as to be able to "look at life as he did when he was a child."[22] The artist must interiorize these rhythms, "until the object of his drawing has become like a part of his being, until he has it within him and can project it onto the canvas as his own creation."[23] In this sense the object is set forth in the work of art according to a new rhythm. There is a life that fills all creation, a life which is the manifestation of a great love. An artist can make a beautiful work of art, a work which manifests the splendor, the love-impelled vitality of nature, only to the extent that he reverently attends to reality "with the eyes of a child."

  Matisse's approach is similar to that of the icon painters. They likewise expose themselves at length to that which they want to portray, until they can draw its traits not from the outside world but from deep within themselves. The Orthodox tradition holds that one can only see the uncreated light of divinity by being oneself transformed into light. Hence the iconographers must be ascetics, must purify their vision and become themselves filled with light. Then they will see all things as filled with light; they will walk in a divine space, the space of the kingdom of heaven which is within them. The space and the light are one; and all things are light, as an iron held in fire becomes fire. The icon painter expresses all this from within, expresses a space which is identical with light-energy and which does not recede from us, but rather opens out toward us. The saints who inhabit this space are, in the words of St. Macarius of Egypt, "all face and all light."

  Let us look at an icon of Saint Nicholas. One of the most pronounced elements in the design is the relation among the crosses on the saint's omophorion [part of the outer liturgical vestment of a bishop]. They move counterclockwise around his shoulders. The symmetrical placement of light and dark shapes immediately to the right and left sides, respectively, of the saint's neck, ensures the movement of space around his head and the return of this movement on the left side, where the cross moves downward and toward the right to complete the spatial circle. The opposition between the downward and rightward movement of the left cross and the upward and rightward movement of the right cross is mediated by the strict parallelism of their constitutive parts, while the abrupt change in direction from the former to the latter is explained (and caused) by the abrupt collision of the omophorion with the forcefully rectangular shape of dark robe at the center of the icon. The vector of the left cross ricochets off the upper edge of this dark rectangle to become the vector of the right cross. The exceedingly great power of this dark rectangular shape, which is able to stand firm beneath these crosses (themselves strong and violent in their contrasts) is felt to issue forth from the blessing hand which extends into this shape, and thus to be an amplification, a visual proclamation, of the power emanating from the peaceful gesture. Thus the icon shows us simultaneously both the gentleness and the power of the blessing. At the same time, the Gospel book bounds forward from the dark rectangle, repeating its shape while being pushed forward by the visual action of the white omophorion. The color of the book relates it directly to the blessing hand, as well as to the head. The book pulls gently to the right, assisting the overall counterclockwise rotation of the space in the icon. This movement of space (and concomitantly of volume, since neither exists apart from the other in painting) is seen also in the subtle asymmetry of the head (characteristic of icons) -- in the placement of its features and the modeling of its volumes. It is hardly necessary to point out that all the lines and shapes in this icon, all the highlights in the dark robe and even the subtlest nuances of the modeling in the hand and face, as well as all the chromatic and tonal intervals, are rhythmically and harmonically interrelated.

  In a testimonial of 1951, Matisse tells of how, in the Chapel at Vence, he wanted to do the same thing he had always done in his canvases: "In a very restricted space- the width is five meters --I wanted to inscribe a spiritual space as I had done so far in paintings of fifty centimeters or one meter; that is, a space whose dimensions are not limited even by the existence of the objects represented."[24]

  This spiritual space is a kind of plenitude that is plastic, i.e. truly felt. It does not imitate some externally perceived space. And it is achieved through color -- color which, laid on in flat planes, provokes light "as one uses harmonies in music."[25] "Color helps to express light, not the physical phenomenon, but the only light that really exists, that in the artist's brain."[26] "Most painters require direct contact with objects in order to feel that they exist, and they can only reproduce them under strictly physical conditions. They look for an exterior light to illuminate them internally. Whereas the artist or the poet possesses an interior light which transforms objects to make a new world of them -- sensitive, organized, a living world which is in itself an infallible sign of divinity, a reflection of divinity."[27] Because the light-filled space that the artist finds within himself reflects the divine, it brings with it a communion with nature, and gives birth to art which is true to nature. "Awakened and supported by the divine, all elements will find themselves in nature."[28]

  Our investigation thus far enables us to see the profound truth of Kandinsky's words about Matisse, quoted at the head of this essay: "He paints ‘images’" and in these "images endeavors to reproduce the divine. To attain this end he requires as a starting point nothing but the object to be painted (human being or whatever it may be) and then the methods that belong to painting alone, color and form."[29]

  For Kandinsky, the freeing of art from the imitating of appearances allowed it to revert to its essence of line and pure tone. Matisse, committed to this most universal mode of painting, whose revival in France had been pioneered by Gaugin and Van Gogh, said to Teriade in 1936: "When the means of expression have become so refined, so attenuated that their power of expression wears thin, it is necessary to return to the essential principles that made human language. These are, after all, the principles that ‘go back,’ that restore life, that give us life. Pictures that have become refinements, subtle degradations, dissolutions without energy, call for beautiful blues, beautiful reds, beautiful yellows -- materials to stir the sensual depths in men. This is the starting point of fauvism: the courage to return to the purity of the means."[30] In a postcard to Manguin, sent from Moscow in 1911, Matisse had compared the icons to fauvist painting.[31] Later in life, reminiscing about his reaction to divisionist theories and rules, Matisse said he had to find a way to compose with the drawing in such a way as to enter directly into the arabesque with the color.[32] He stated that in the fauvist reaction against the diffusion of local tone in light, "Light is not suppressed, but is expressed by a harmony of intensely colored surfaces."[33]

  In a letter to Charles Camoin in 1914, Matisse writes of his enthusiasm for a Seurat, intensely colored, with a band of blue dotted with violet at the top and the bottom, functioning like the repoussoir of the old masters. He has the Seurat on his wall alongside a photograph of Delacroix's "Jacob Wrestling with the Angel," which his daughter prefers because of its overall life. Comparing the two, Matisse notes that the Seurat remains grand, but "Delacroix's composition is more entirely created, while that of Seurat employs matter organized scientifically, reproducing, presenting to our eyes objects constructed by scientific means rather than by signs coming from feeling. As a result there is in his works a positivism, a slightly inert stability coming from his composition, which is not the result of a creation of the mind but of a juxtaposition of objects. It is necessary to cross this barrier to re-feel light, colored and soft, and pure, the noblest pleasure." The Delacroix, with its vital arabesque, is ultimately more significant to Matisse.[34]

  In Matisse's Red Interior (Note: illustration 2 will be added), every line, every shape, every tone -- each of the pictorial elements -- is rhythmically related to all the other elements. The blue oval of the table top, pushing in front of the field of warm reds and yellows, jostles the lower left corner of the rectangle and pops the red shapes of the tomatoes to the fore. The contours of the table swing counterclockwise, descending on the left and ascending on the right to push the vase over to the left, flattening the right contour of the vase while the left contour bulges in response. The oval table is echoed above by the medallion enclosing a woman's profile, while the yellow medallion in turn is answered by the vertical yellow rectangle of the door standing ajar. This yellow door pulls strongly to the right, all the way to the edge of the canvas, yet resists conformity to the straight edge; the upper part of the door leans to the left, back toward the yellow medallion, and thus initiates a large counterclockwise rotation of the whole space of the painting, from the door to the mirror and then back down to the table, an amplification of the rotation of this very table. Balancing this rotation, however, is the movement of the great plane of red with its black zig-zags, from lower left to upper right, followed by the action of the yellow flowers outside, whose shape, a more active variation of that of the flowers in the vase, provides a counterpoint to the inclination of the yellow door.

  Note that the light in the painting is a radiant encounter of fields of color, ceaselessly enriched by the ebb and flow of all the powerful and subtle exchanges that go on among the pictorial elements. There is not even any suggestion of incident illumination. Nor does the ample space of the painting make any allusion to perspective. The painting indeed manifests that "interior light which transforms objects to make a new world of them - sensitive, organized, a living world which is in itself an infallible sign of divinity, a reflection of divinity."[35]

  The painting unfolds rhythmically as an organic whole in space and in time. Or rather, the space and time are born from the same unfolding. The painting is alive and active, manifesting the energy, the love, which creates and sustains nature, and with it space and time. The organic unfolding of all the elements within the painting is continuous with an unfolding of the painting toward the viewer -- the painting's splendor, clarity or radiance. The plenitude of being which the work manifests expands and radiates to illumine a beholder standing at even a distance of fifty or a hundred feet.[36] The painting is not limited by the dimensions of its frame. This expansiveness is a function of the mysterious reality- which painters call the picture plane: when all the lines, shapes and colors are interrelated in a dynamic and harmonic space/time equilibrium, the painting exercises a luminous presence which faces the viewer. The painting is "all light and face." We see here the true coincidence, the coinherence, of space, light and the picture plane. They are one reality, and that reality is an event, an event of transformation which, for Matisse as for the icon painters, manifests the divine.

  Let us examine further this mysterious event which we call the picture plane. In painting, the picture plane cannot be taken for granted. It is not something one starts with, and which can be "preserved" or not, but something which must be achieved. Its achievement is simultaneous with the creation of pictorial space and light, because together they are constituent aspects of a single spiritual event. Matisse's colleague, Andre Derain, stated that color in painting does not come from the prism, but is a spiritual matter of inner life manifested by rhythm. Derain further observed that light in painting is not a principle of imitation, like illumination. Its purpose is not to illuminate objects, but to set the painting within its frame -- that is, to generate the picture plane. In a living painting, the rhythmic relation of lines, angles, shapes and colors results in what Derain described as a "paroxysm." The paroxysm is simultaneously the opening up of space and the breaking forth of radiance, of spiritual light, of real pictorial color. This paroxysm is thus tantamount to the event which is the picture plane. We see now that the picture plane is transcendent in its very essence. That is why it is so mysterious and hard to grasp. It only exists in an act by which it transcends itself. An infinity of pictorial space and light exists when, and only when, the picture plane exists. That is why in great painting the difference between flatness and space is not collapsed, but rather amplified -- and reconciled. It is also why when the picture plane is achieved, the surface on which the picture is painted feels right, and breathes the air of infinity, rather than feeling like a constriction or a limitation.

  The joy of Matisse's knowledge of nature is the joy of a unitive knowledge which in its depth may be compared to conjugal knowledge. This joy lives on in the event of the picture plane, the paroxysm, ceaselessly renewed by the painting's rhythms. In this connection let us observe that the joyful light and space of the Orthodox icon are likewise that of a nuptial feast the feast of the eighth day of creation which is the fulfillment of God's espousal of his creation, now healed and transformed.

  We can now see why icons are considered to be agents of inner, spiritual healing, why their light, their space, are therapeutic -- and why Matisse desired to create paintings that would have a therapeutic effect. The communion with nature, the participation in the divine, which is implicit in pictorial light and space, cannot but have a healing action. The event of the painting, the act of transcendence which constitutes the picture plane, the opening out of inner life and light, is itself the beginning of a process of spiritual transformation.

~ Endnotes:

1. W. Kandinsky, Concerning the Spiritual in Art. Intr. and tr. M.T.H. Sadler (New York: Dover Pub., 1977) p 17.

2. Jack Ham, ed., Matisse on Art. (Berkeley end Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1995) pp. 213, 218.

3. Ibid., p. 178.

4. Guillaume Apollinaire, "Les Russes," Gil Blas, April 22, 1911.

5. Cited in French in Alfred Barr, Matisse, his Art and his Public. (New York: Museum of Modern Art, 1951), p.555.

6. "Matiss v Rossii osenju 1911 Goda," Trudy Gosudarstvennogo ermitaza, vol. 14 (1973), pp. 167-84. Quoted in Pierre Schneider, Henri Matisse. (New York: Rizzoli) 1984, p. 303.

7. Schneider, pp. 303-304.

8. Ibid., p. 14

9. Jack Flam, Matisse: the Man and His Art. (Ithaca: Cornell University Press, 1986), p. 323.

10. "Matisse in Moscow," Utro Rossi, Oct. 27, 1911, in Y.A. Rusakov, op. cit., p. 288.

11. Quoted in Matisse on Art, p. 296.

12. quoted by Pierre Schneider in the catalogue: H. Matisse. Exposition du Centenaire. (Paris, 1970), p. 13.

13. quoted in French in R. Escholier, Matisse from the Life. (London: Faber, 1960), p. 203.

14. Pierre Schneider, Henri Matisse. (New York: Rizzoli,1984), p. 10.

15. statement recorded in C. Zervos, Cahiers d'art, 5-6, 1931.

16. Matisse on Art, p. 110.

17. A clear and extensive treatment of this can be found in the book by the nineteenth century sculptor, Adolf Hildebrand, The Problem of Form.

18. St. Gregory of Nyssa, "In Hexaemeron," P.G., XLIV, pp. 72-3.

19. Amb., P.G. 91, 1148c.

20. Jack D. Flam, Matisse on Art. (New York, 1978), pp. 148-149. The quotation is from an interview conducted by Regine Pernoud and published in Le Courier de l'U.N.E.S.C.O., vol. VI, no. October, 1953. The translation given here is Flam’s, but I have inserted some of the words of the original French in brackets where I feel this is required by the subtlety of Matisse's expression.

21. Henri Matisse, Jazz. (Paris, 1947), quoted in Flam, Matisse on Art, p. 113.

22. loc. cit.

23. Ibid.

24. Matisse on Art, p. 207.

25. Ibid., p. 178.

26. Ibid., p. 156.

27. Ibid., p. 89.

28. Ibid., p. 156.

29. W. Kandinsky, Concerning the Spiritual in Art. Intr. and tr. M.T.H. Sadler. (New York: Dover Pub., 1977), p. 17.

30. Matisse on Art, pp. 122-123

31. Schneider, 1984, p. 309.

32. Dominique Fourcade, ed., Henri Matisse: Ecrits et propos sur l’art. (Paris: Hermann, 1972), footnote, p. 93.

33. Matisse on Art, p. 58.

34. Fourcade, ed. op cit., footnote, pp. 93-94. Translation of part of the letter given in Matisse on Art, p. 275.

35. Matisse on Art, p. 89.

36. Pierre Bonnard advised painters to take their canvases outside from time to time and view them from at least thirty feet away in order to judge them properly. The ability of a good painting to carry over distance is to a surprising degree independent of the size of the canvas--- surprising, that is, until one understands the reason.

~ Lazarus James Reid

[chaineduploosesoicanfitin]

I have some issues about Love Victor that apparently people have addressed, mainly the pacing and underdeveloped relationship between Benji and Victor. BUT there are also a few OTHER (probably minor) things that bothered me that I have to get off my chest.

1. Pilar was probably one of the most interesting characters and they didn’t really DO much with her. They could’ve explored both Pilar’s and Mia’s relationships with their mothers a lot more. They couldve played with the dynamic of one girl having a mom and very suddenly developing trust issues with her vs a girl who doesnt have a mom and has already developed trust issues with women but is now gaining a “mom” very suddenly. Instead, with Pilar, it was “Teenage girl understandably mad at mom for the thing she did. Girl with no mom and trust issues with women talks to her about parents not having it all together. Teenage girl no longer mad at mom but still is kind of. And here’s a few things she does to move the plot along even though nothing really comes out of it.” Mia could’ve been her new best friend (along with Felix) and I think they tried to make it seem like that when she got upset about Victor and the letter. But its hard to believe when they only interacted maybe a few times after that and it wasn’t anything special.

2. There were a lot of plots that just kinda ended?? Like the whole, Pilar finding out about the letter situation. That leads to her asking Benji about the trip. And you WOULD THINK that leads to Benji and Derek breaking up BUT THEY DIDNT EVEN BREAK UP OVER THE KISS!! Benji broke up with him because he didn’t want to be with Derek anymore. They spend an entire episode with her being angry and a detective just so when she confronts VICTOR about the letter, he basically tells her to calm down and she does and....That’s it?? They were seen smiling and such walking home and it makes it seem like she’s no longer mad at him so....what was the point of it??

2a. And the mentioning of Armando doing something so bad was just explained off! They built so much tension for EPISODES! It was made to be such a terrible terrible thing and once its revealed its just kind of accepted? No one really shows any anger towards Armando. Which is fine because what Armando did wasn’t even THAT BAD to begin with?? I mean violence is wrong and everything but at least it was justified in some capacity. But then if thats the case, don’t build tension if something isnt going to come out of it.

2b. It was very minor but they made it a big deal so I noticed it. Why didn’t anyone, specifically Mia, find out about Victor lying about his trip?? He told his family that it was a basketball trip and told Mia it was a trip with his Dad and then NOT ONCE did Mia ask how his trip was. She was LITERALLY talking to Pilar before Victor walks up to her at her locker and she didn’t mention it at all??? Not a “How’d your dad and Victor’s trip go?” Or “what time did Victor and your dad get in last night?” Or even asked how his trip was in front of Pilar. Nothing! If she did, that would’ve been a nice conversation and wouldve created tension about him lying between Mia and Victor AND Pilar and Victor. Then the whole letter thing wouldve been more “intense” and it might’ve drove Victor to Benji more. Instead, he lied, he got away with it. The end. That’s not what you’re supposed to focus on because he had a gay ol’ time in gay ol’ New York!

3. The dialogue, specifically for Lake was atrocious that they basically abandon at some point. I guess because she starts liking Felix. But it was still terrible.

4. Lake was kinda terrible. Liking Felix didn’t make up for it. Her mom being terrible wasn’t an excuse. I liked the fact that she supported Mia in whatever she did however. That’s what best friends are supposed to do. But she was still kinda terrible.

2c because I remembered something else. What happened with the grandparents?? They get told off and they’re suddenly accepting and then.....?????

5. Not enough Sophia Bush................Okay this one is a personal issue because I’m in love with Sophia Bush but STILL

The point is though....Idk the show is FINE but that’s all it is. There are good things about the show and I’m not knocking that! I think Mia is interesting and Felix must be protected at all times! Not to mention the representation of POCs and the presence of a interracial couple that didn’t involve a white character. And Sophia Bush is in it!!! I just can’t sit here and act like its soooo good when its not. It’s fine.

[searchingwardrobes]

Priceless: 8/9

I was planning on this being the last chapter, but I simply couldn't fit in everything I wanted to do, so there will be one more. I also couldn't resist this cliffhanger. Just don't hate me! *hides* Although you can partially blame my wonderful beta, @xhookswenchx​. She encouraged me when I mentioned doing a cliffhanger. Though she did yell at me once she actually read it ;)

I also noticed a huge error. I had Will Scarlett in earlier chapters as Killian's contact for the job. Then he popped up again in the last chapter as a cabbie! Oops! That's the problem with taking months to update. I loved Will as the cabbie, though, so I went back and changed the sketchy contact to Jefferson. I think it fits better, actually.

Summary: Desperate men often find themselves in places they never thought they would go, but for Killian Jones it would finally force him to be the hero his daughter always thought he could be. The job was simple: drive the truck, don’t open the back, don’t ask questions. But Killian Jones has never followed instructions very well …

An AU of the movie Priceless starring Joel Smallbone of For King and Country.

Rating: M for themes

Trigger warnings: This story is about human trafficking so there are discussions of rape and non-con, some of it involving minors. None of it is portrayed as positive nor is it graphically described. If you have any specific questions or concerns before reading, feel free to message me.

**in this chapter specifically, there are depictions of violence**

THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING, I SWEAR!!!!

Also on Ao3 as part of my movie au series Captain Swan is My Favorite Rom Com: 2nd Edition. There is also a First Edition.

Tagging: @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @welllpthisishappening @bethacaciakay @teamhook @let-it-raines @wellhellotragic @winterbaby89 @kday426 @ekr032-blog-blog @shady-swan-jones @sherlockianwhovian @shireness-says @spartanguard @scientificapricot @stahlop @delirious-latenight-laughs @resident-of-storybrooke @vvbooklady1256 @tiganasummertree​ @nikkiemms​  @jennjenn615​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @shipsxahoy​ @cat-sophia​ @artistic-writer​ @thejacketandthehook​ @hollyethecurious​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @branlovestowrite​ @dassala​ @allofdafandoms-blog​ @snidgetsafan​ @pocket-anon​ @optomisticgirl​ @flslp87​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @courtorderedcake​ @superchocovian​ @distant-rose​

Chapter Summary: After rescuing Emma from the spa, Killian faces dire consequences for his actions.

The cabbie Will whistled in admiration as he turned onto the drive to David and Mary Margaret’s place. I agreed with his assessment - this wasn’t just a home, it was a ranch, and a large spread at that. The cab drove beneath a stone archway. Swinging from the center of it were scrolling iron letters that said “Misthaven Farm.” The land up on these hills was more lush, and there were several smaller buildings lining the long drive that took us up to the house. I assumed they were barns and stables, though no animals were visible at this hour. Will parked the cab in a circular drive right in front of a two story house built of uncut stones and raw timber to give it a rugged air. It was large, but not massive, just the right size to be welcoming and homey.

Will whistled once again when I paid him handsomely for the long ride, much more than was necessary. I wasn’t just paying him for driving. I was paying him for being a good man, one who would ask questions to ensure the safety of an inebriated woman in his cab. And despite my desperation to make a way to be with my daughter, I could no longer keep the money Gold had given me. It was dirty, and I wanted to be rid of it as quickly as possible.

Emma still couldn’t walk, so I scooped her up again and carried her to the Nolan’s front door. Mary Margaret opened it before I even reached the front stoop, rushing forward with a gasp despite the phone pressed to her ear.

“Oh my God, um, Regina, I’ll have to call you back!” She hung up, her hands fluttering around Emma as if she wanted to help her but wasn’t sure what to do. “What happened?”

“I found her, and I couldn’t just do nothing.”

It wasn’t the greatest explanation, but I was more concerned about Emma. Mary Margaret motioned towards the stairs and I followed her up. Emma lifted her head, but her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on anything. She mumbled something, then her head lolled back onto my shoulder.

“They drugged her.” Mary Margaret wasn’t asking a question.

She led me into a modest bedroom at the top of the stairs. It held only a full size bed in one corner, a small dresser, and a desk pressed against a wall. Opposite the bed was a door that led to a small bathroom.

“This isn’t much,” Mary Margaret explained, “but I thought she might be more comfortable here.”

Frankly, I didn’t think Emma cared where she was. I deposited her gently onto the bed, slipped the glittery gold stilettos off her feet, and edged her under the covers. I tucked her in like I often did for Alice, but stopped short of brushing a kiss to her temple. I turned to go, but Emma surprised me by grabbing my hand.

“Please stay,” she whispered.

I glanced over my shoulder at Mary Margaret. She cast her gaze pointedly to the floor and arched a brow. I got her meaning fully and eased down to sit on the floor by Emma’s bed.

“As you wish,” I whispered to Emma.

She let out a shuddering breath and then her whole body relaxed, though she didn’t release my hand. When Mary Margaret slipped out, she left the door cracked open. I stayed there with Emma’s hand grasping mine, my head resting against the edge of the bed. I didn’t think I would be able to sleep, but somehow, my body relaxed and I dozed off.

When my eyes opened again, the light of early dawn streamed through the window, and I realized Emma’s weeping had awakened me. She had released my hand at some point, and when I turned my head I found her curled into the fetal position, facing the wall. I rose up on my knees and placed my hand tentatively on her upper back.

“Emma?”

She tensed, and I withdrew my hand. A heavy silence filled the room, but I didn’t know how to comfort her or what to say. Finally, she rolled over, clasping the blanket tighter around her frame. It enveloped her like a cocoon, and I cursed myself for not asking Mary Margaret to help her change her clothes the night before. The skin tight red dress Emma wore beneath the covers barely contained her curves and couldn’t have been comfortable. A shiver rocked her frame, and I winced.

“I’ll get Mary Margaret,” I finally said, rising quickly to my feet.

“Not yet,” she whispered, then pressed her eyes shut as more tears spilled down her cheeks.

I stood there, feeling helpless and awkward. I noticed an extra blanket draped over the desk chair, and grabbed it. She was still shaking, so I draped the blanket over her, careful not to touch her. It wasn’t enough, but it was something.

“I don’t deserve to be here,” Emma whispered.

“What do you mean, love?” I asked, sinking to the very edge of the bed.

“My sisters. I don’t deserve to be here when they’re still -” her voice broke as if she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “I’m an awful person.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is! Because I’m here, and they’re not, but I . . . I feel . . . “

“Relieved?”

She pressed her eyes shut, as if ashamed of herself. “I was so relieved to hear your voice at the spa. I shouldn’t have called out for you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

Emma’s eyes flew open suddenly, and she scrambled up, shoving me aside as her feet hit the floor. She struggled to stand, with both blankets still wrapped around her, but she swayed and I had to help her sit back down.

“Careful,” I admonished, “I don’t know what they gave you, but it may take awhile for the effects to wear off.”

“I don’t know either,” she whispered, dropping her head to her hands, “but after the first time, they didn’t have to force the pills down my throat. It . . . numbed things, and sometimes if I passed out . . . it was better that way.”

I blinked back tears at the defeat in her voice, and I couldn’t help it any longer. I pulled her next to me and held her close. I whispered nonsense meant to comfort as I stroked her hair. Just empty words, but she clung to my shirt nevertheless, and I prayed that they helped.

“I have to go back. Gold may be mad, but he’ll take me -”

“Over my dead body.”

Emma pulled back sharply. “Killian, I have to! Elsa is still sick, Anna’s just a kid -”

I stilled her words with a finger to her lips. “Emma, do you really think they’ll honor their word?”

“At least I’ll be with them! Besides, what options do we have? We’ll be arrested. Deported.”

“You don’t have to be.” Mary Margaret’s voice spoke from the bedroom doorway, and Emma and I turned to her in surprise. “That phone call I was on when you got here last night? It was my stepsister, Regina. She’s an immigration lawyer, and she says that victims of trafficking by law can’t be deported.”

“But I’ve heard stories from the other girls,” Emma protested, but Mary Margaret cut her off as she sat next to her on the bed and took her hands in hers.

“Yes, some do get deported, I won’t lie, but that’s usually because they don’t know their rights. Or they’re too afraid to speak up against their traffickers. Sometimes the law doesn’t understand what trafficking looks like. It’s not always kidnapping and locked doors. It’s manipulation, fear, and sometimes even Stockholm syndrome.”

Emma nodded. “There’s a girl there in the house - Ivy. She thinks Neal really loves her; thinks the brothel is a family.”

I could tell Mary Margaret was forcing back tears, and I thought of her daughter. Mary Margeret cupped Emma’s face in her hands. “But that’s not you. That’s not your sisters. Not only that, you’ll have Regina. She says she’ll represent you, pro bono.”

Tears poured down Emma’s face. “Why would you do this for me?”

Mary Margaret shrugged. “Faith means we care for those who can not care for themselves.” Then she leaned forward and pressed a motherly kiss to Emma’s head. “Now,” she said, forcing a smile upon her face. “I’ve put towels and a change of clothes in the bathroom over there. They may not fit perfectly, but I thought they’d at least be comfortable. How about you shower and then I’ll fix you some breakfast?”

Emma gave the other woman a wobbly smile. “That sounds nice.”

After Emma rose and shuffled into the bathroom, still wrapped up in the blankets, Mary Margaret gave me a weighted look. “I need to talk to you,” she whispered, and dread coiled in my belly.

I followed her wordlessly downstairs and into the kitchen. I almost tripped over my own feet to see David sitting at the kitchen table with a wet towel pressed to a gash on his head. I looked frantically around the room, my dread only increasing.

“Where’s Liam?”

David’s jaw clenched as he forced himself to meet my gaze. “We were run off the road by an unmarked SUV. We slammed into a ditch, and I hit my head. When I came to, Liam was gone.”

I looked frantically around the room. “They know where we are?”

David shook his head. “I hitchhiked home in a farmer’s pickup. We weren’t close enough to the ranch for them to put things together.”

I sank to the chair next to David. “They just wanted Liam then.” I didn’t even ask why - all three of us already knew.

My phone, still in my pocket, rang. My hands shook as I answered it, and the voice on the other end made my blood run cold.

“Hello, Romeo. That’s quite the rescue you pulled off.”

“Gold,” I ground out, “what do you want?”

“I want my property, naturally. I’m assuming you want your brother. Alive, preferably?”

I pressed my eyes closed as the words hit home. When I opened them, David and Mary Margaret were right by my side. Liam? Mary Margaret mouthed, and I nodded.

“What are you asking?” I finally managed to ask.

“A trade. My girl for your brother. Simple as that.”

My mind spun as I tried to come up with a plan. When it finally came to me, it sounded crazy, but if I played my cards right, it could work.

“Not so fast,” I answered him, adding an edge to my voice. “I know how valuable Swan is. A trade’s not good enough.”

“I don’t know that you’re in a position to negotiate,” Gold snapped. “I can put a fucking bullet in your brother’s head.”

I tsked, “Come now, Gold, don’t be hasty. The way I see it, I’ve got plenty of evidence that I can take to multiple government agencies. Trafficking, immigration violations, drugs - would you like me to continue?”

“What’s your point?” he growled.

I paced, my gaze focused on the tile in the Nolan’s kitchen. “I’ll give you Swan, but I want more than my brother back. I want her sisters too.”

Gold barked out a laugh. “Why in the world would I do that?”

“Elsa’s sick, and it’s gonna cost you to get her well, or you would have done it already. Once she’s well though, she can make me some serious money.”

“I thought you were in love,” Gold replied dryly.

“That’s what I wanted her to think,” I sneered, “and it worked. I had her eating out of my hand. She was good, I’ll say that, but she’s not the only blonde in the world. I’ve seen the money that can be made in this business.”

“And you want in.”

“With you? Hardly. I want to start my own business and with a blonde and an underage red head? I can.”

“The bid on the black market for that virgin keeps climbing,” Gold countered, “why should I give that up?”

“It’s a one time deal, and you’ve got other underage girls. I saw their photos at the house. I’ve gotta be in that market too if I want to build my business. But Swan? She’s top-tier. Even spoiled frat boys driving daddy’s Lexus can’t afford her. Long term, she’s worth way more than her kid sister.”

“How did you know that?”

“I have my sources.”

There was a long silence on the other line, and I prayed fervently to a God I wasn’t sure even cared about me. But he had to care about a frightened sixteen year old and her ill sister. Right? God if you’re there . . .

“Okay. Meet me -”

“No. My terms. I don’t trust you, Gold. You would double cross me in a heartbeat. I wanna make the trade in a public place. Broad daylight. No tricks.”

Gold growled, but relented. He named a time and a place. I knew it already - warehouses in a sketchy part of town. I shook my head at David, and he frantically scribbled on a piece of paper.

“Anthem Hills Park,” I countered.

“Are you insane? There will be -”

“Kids? Families? Exactly. No way you can screw me over in such a public place. Be there WITH Liam and the girls or the deal is off.” I hung up without waiting for a reply and prayed I hadn’t just doomed us all.

“Do you think he’ll be there?” Mary Margaret asked nervously.

I shook my head. “I don’t know, we just have to . . . “ I trailed off when I noticed Mary Margaret’s face go pale as she stared at something over my shoulder. I turned to see Emma sitting on the bottom of the stairs, her hair wet from her shower, and her eyes lifeless as she stared at me. “God, Emma, that wasn’t . . . I mean I didn’t -”

“I get it,” she interrupted in a shaky breath, “Anna’s young and Elsa’s sick, and I’m . . . already used up. Damaged.”

“Emma, no,” I told her as I came towards her, “that was all just an act for Gold.”

She looked up at me with a tentative smile. “Oh, I know that you didn’t mean any of that crap about the business. But let’s face it, Killian. You have to save our siblings, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. We can’t let Gold hurt them.”

I sank to the step next to her and took both of her hands in mine. “I was bluffing with every word of it, Emma.”

“What? But -”

“No buts. I can’t let Gold hurt you either. Not anymore.”

***********************************************

Later that afternoon, I pulled into the lot at Anthem Hills Park. The day was gorgeous, and the park was filled with people. Children scampered about on the playground, their happy squeals ringing in the air. Parents sat and chatted on benches while others pushed strollers down the walking trails. Right next to the slides, on a park bench, were Gold and his son, Liam and the girls sandwiched between them, just as promised. Their backs were to us, and I swallowed nervously as I pulled David’s handgun out of the glove compartment. I set it on the dashboard and took a deep breath before fixing my gaze on Emma.

“Do you trust me?”

Emma nodded, but more than that, her eyes were blazing and her jaw was set in determination.

“Always.”

I nodded in return, then shoved the gun into the waistband of my jeans. Emma turned to open the car door, but I stilled her by gently grasping her hand. I rubbed my thumb tenderly over her knuckles as her eyes met mine.

“I don’t know how this will all play out, so I just need you to know . . . not a moment has gone by since we met that I haven’t thought about you.”

She searched my face, then her lips turned up in a teasing smile. “Good.”

I returned her smile, buoyed by the pleasure I saw in her eyes. We both exited the vehicle, and I pulled Emma close to my side as we crossed the grass. When we reached the park bench, Liam’s eyes met mine, and I saw a warning in them. He glanced at the girls on either side of him. Elsa, despite the fever trembling through her frame, was stiff and unnatural. Anna was even more so, her eyes wide and frightened. Gold and Neal both opened their coats just enough that I could see the guns they had pressed to the girls’ sides. I caught my brother’s eyes once more, trying to reassure him. This was nothing the Nolans and I hadn’t anticipated.

“Deal’s off,” Gold sneered, “give us our property - all of it - and we’ll let you and your brother be on your way.”

I smirked at Gold. “You know, I’ve been told that I’m many things. I’m too dramatic, I feel too much, I get too attached. I jump in with both feet, and I just don’t think things through.”

I pulled out my gun, brandishing it dramatically so anyone nearby could see. As expected, several screams immediately rang out. People started running, people shouted for someone to call 911. I smirked again at Gold.

“Police will be here any minute I’m guessing. Crazy guy with a gun at the park tends to draw attention.”

“You’re crazy!” Neal screamed, leaping to his feet and pointing his own gun right at me. The screams around us grew louder.

I had anticipated this too, and calmly shifted to point my gun back at him. Emma didn’t hesitate, but raced to Anna’s side and pulled her out of the way. Liam took advantage of the distraction. He leapt up and barrelled himself into Gold, shoving Elsa out of the way. A gun went off. Elsa screamed Liam’s name.

Then Emma screamed mine. I turned to see her tackle Neal and another shot went off. I was shoved from behind, the arm holding my gun wrenched behind my back. My face was shoved to the ground, and handcuffs were slapped on my wrists. A cop began to read me my rights.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law . . . “

From my place on the ground, I saw Emma scramble off Neal, her hands red with blood. Neal lay face first, lifeless, blood spreading beneath him, staining the ground. Anna raced to her, weeping and holding her close. She was safe.

I turned my head to see more blood staining the ground.

Liam lay prone and still, Elsa weeping over him.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 46

I’m on a roll!  Yet another chapter beta’d by @parisconstantine (in which I learned about French terms of affection), and I’m already 1600 words into chapter 47.  I’m not sure if the next chapter will be a long one or if I’ll end up splitting it into two parts. Time will tell on that front.

Oh! Oh!  Sam and Simon both get last names in this chapter!

This covers the first six hours of the Food Festival, so minor mentions of food.  I can’t think of any other warnings beyond that, but if you find something please shoot me a message so I can update it.  I’m learning every day about things that trigger people, so sometimes I miss things that aren’t glaringly obvious.  However, I’m always willing to learn.  At the end of the day, this is very slice-of-life, after all.

Edit:  I am reposting this, for 2 reasons.  Most importantly, I included some characters in this chapter who I need to attribute to their rightful creators.  So, Thank you @charlylimph-blog for Ivan Thorson and Coffee Williams.  You are an incredible writer, and I didn’t want these two to languish in obscurity after all the hard work you put into submitting them for the last contest.

The second reason is just because I posted it too early and wanted to put it out there for the people who look for my chapters on Tuesdays.  I love you all!

“Okay, everyone for Alpha Shift, sound off.”

“Tyche Reid, Admin Observation, is online.” I could hear the smirk in my sister’s voice.

“Antoine Costa, Support Personnel, online.”

“Sophia, do I really have to do this?” a familiar voice wheedled.

“Yes. I need to know who is my eyes and ears on the ground.”

“Ugh. Zach Khan, Support Personnel, online.”

“Derek Okafor, Civilian Observation, online.”

“Sam Richardson, Civilian Ob-observation, o-o-online.” I couldn’t help grinning that Sam agreed to help out.  Usually, he kept out of any operations on the ship, but he was the original tester for Antoine’s project, so he had just assumed he would be part of today’s actions.

“Maverick Okima, Support Personnel, online.”

“Alistair Worthington, Resource Adjunct, online,” my assistant dutifully called off in a bored tone. Only I could see the sardonic look he shot me.

“Sophia Reid, Resource Command, online,” I breathed in relief.  “Thank you, everyone. You have two objectives today: first, a general assessment of the low-stim session so that we know what we did right and what we can improve on in the future; second, getting feedback on how Mr. Costa’s dampening and proximity updates to the translation chips are working, again with a goal for future enhancements.  Tyche Reid has graciously volunteered to be our control on the chip project, so she will be providing only a baseline evaluation of the low-stim session and the quiet rooms.”  In reality, my sister wasn’t volunteering so much as refusing to get the upgrade until I agreed to do the same.

“Soph, if you are going to keep being so formal, we may as well shut this down now,” my sister huffed. “Mr. Costa my foot.”

“I’m trying to be professional,” I grumbled back. “This is an official Council operation, to be saved for posterity.”

“Do you truly believe that Xiomara will tolerate being referred to as ‘Miss’ or ‘Councillor Kalloe’ for six hours, Sophia?” Antoine asked smoothly.

Fighting back a chuckle, I refused to concede his point. “That’s Simon’s problem, not mine. She and I are on shift in the festival at the same time, so Simon will be running the show from here.”

“And you have deluded yourself to believe that Mr. Rodriguez will continue to address everyone formally?” Alistair scoffed. Et tu, Brute? I had argued with him for weeks to call me Sophia.

“If you start calling me Mr. Okafor, I’m going silent until this is over, Sophia,” Derek threatened.

I threw my hands up defensively, even if most people couldn’t see me. “Fine! I get it, I get it. I’ll chill out with the names, but I am going on record that it was under duress and threat of operative failure.” I shook my head and took a deep breath. “Okay, so, back to the point.  Tyche, your job is providing an assessment of the low-stim Festival session, as it appears to someone without the implant upgrades.  Derek and Sam, your jobs are to evaluate the session with the upgrades.  I need all three of you to report back two specific things: what worked better than your past experiences, and what still sucked.  Maverick, Zach, and Antoine: you are there both in your capacities as support personnel in case something goes horribly wrong, and to make sure I hear about anything they don’t realize shouldn’t be happening.  Everyone clear on your jobs?”

I got six affirmative answers before continuing. “Okay, other than that – have fun!  Try new foods, let me know what to try when it’s my turn, just enjoy yourselves as much as possible!”  With that, I left the group channel open and watched the map of the festival.  The three teams were entering from different points to ensure that, between the six of them, everything could be evaluated. In theory, everything should go off without a hitch.  The vendors were already briefed to be prepared for attendees during this session to provide a list of flavor and texture aversions, and Miys was already stationed in security alcoves to ensure that the vendors were complying and attendees weren’t abusing it.

It was only fifteen minutes before we got our first update.

“Team Try New Foods, reporting early success,” Zach Khan’s voice broke in. “Kosher food stall was an overall hit, the Jainist stall admitted they had nothing that Derek could like except papadums, and Derek tried both falafel and chicken tikka masala.  Jury’s out on the masala, but he likes falafel.”

“I really thought falafel would be too squishy,” I admitted.

“Apparently not,” Zach chuckled. “He said it’s like a meatball, but no meat.”

“I mean, yeah,” I agreed, still dazed. “That’s cool, though.  And the Jainist vendor didn’t give him a hard time about the list?”

“Nope,” he popped the last letter, something he tended to do when he was really excited. “Just smiled, read it, and apologized that everything he had was either spicy, sour, or squishy.”

“How did the Kosher and Halal vendors react to the list?”

“Thoughtfully,” Derek interjected. “The Kosher vendor clarified if I like onions, and the Halal vendor just wanted to know if I meant pepper-spicy or herb-spicy.”

Awesome. “Good job, guys. And congrats, Derek, on the new foods.  Keep it up and let me know.”

Thirty minutes later, not everything was sunshine and rainbows, though. Sam and Maverick had so far reported three vendors whose stalls were too pungent to approach, and Alistair was already in contact with and arguing about the need to keep the dishes covered during the low-stim session. “I understand that the smell is what draws people in, usually, ma’am, but you agreed to keep all smells to a minimum for the first six hours. That includes keeping the atmospheric scrubbers engaged and keeping the dishes sealed.” When the woman on the other end started to argue, he swiftly cut her off. “When you signed up to be open during this session, you were given a list of the restrictions, and you signed off on it. Low Stimulus, and that includes stimulating the nose. You can either seal the food, as you agreed, or we can have your stall closed down for the remainder of the Festival, per the agreement you signed.” With that, he disconnected sighed before turning to me. “So rude,” he informed me with a shake of his head.

“Which stall was that?” I asked, wrinkling my nose in dread.

“Fortunately, just the seafood stall,” he explained. “Along with the Cajun and Jamaican stalls.  So, pungent, but no one has reported nausea as of yet.  Miys is already in the area, trying to dissipate the odor.”

“As long as it isn’t the Japanese stall,” I gulped. They had insisted on serving natto, but explained that it would be sealed in individual portions throughout the festival, and only opened by the person eating it.  While I couldn’t exactly argue, I didn’t have to be happy about it.

I heard from Tyche right at one hour into the event.

“Soph,” my sister practically shouted at me. “Do you want to explain to me why one of the Quiet Rooms looks like you robbed my quarters?”

Oops.  Forgot about that. “Tyche, they’re designed to be relaxing, quiet, and provide low stimulation.  I can’t help it that your quarters are practically a smooshy cave.” Three, two, one…

“A hammock!?” she demanded. “Why don’t I have a hammock?”

“Make up your mind, Tych. Are you offended that the room looks like your quarters, or jealous that it’s better equipped?”

“Both. Definitely both,” she asserted. “Ooo, you included the sound scrubbers we had installed in your quarters, didn’t you?”

“I knew it!” I almost shrieked. “I knew it sounded muffled in my quarters since I got back!  That was completely uncalled for, you brat.  You know I’m hard of hearing!”

“You also have an implant in your brain that directly translates language into your auditory cortex, so it’s not like you couldn’t hear us,” she pointed out. “And all your alerts and alarms were already calibrated for you to see them as well as hear them. What I don’t understand is why you never had Miys fix your hearing.”

“Are you kidding?” I scoffed. “Loud noises are bad enough as it is.  I can’t imagine how it would be if I could hear them better.”

“Aaannnnnnd that’s why we put the scrubbers in your quarters,” she finished. Well, walked right into that one, I admitted to myself. “This room is nice, by the way, once I got over the shock. Quiet, relaxing on the eyes and ears. How buff are the atmo scrubbers? It’s like my nose just quit working, but I can still breathe.”

“Really buff,” I clarified. “I’m not sure how many food and personal odors are going to be at the main event, so I erred on the side of overkill.”

“Do all the quiet rooms look like this?” Antoine asked, his tone full of curiosity.

“They do not,” I grinned. “Antoine, you’re going to love this, I think.  There are five different themed quiet rooms, and two of each for a total of ten. You two are in one of the Dark Rooms.  The Green themed rooms are furnished with plants and small fountains.  Medium theme looks more like my quarters, with lighter grays and some purples thrown in. Cool theme is mostly blues, with diffuse light to give an underwater or polar night kind of feeling.  Finally, the Light themed room is whites and pale yellows, with indirect light to create a feeling like a sunny day.”

A hum of approval. “I think that makes the most sense,” he agreed. “Not everyone finds the same things soothing, but I think you created enough variety to cover everyone.”

“So, how is the event going for you guys?”

Tyche sighed. “It’s going okay, but I’m not entirely certain that’s not because of who I am.  I haven’t seen any flashing lights, no loud music is playing, so that’s good.  The vendors have been very deferential, which I didn’t think to expect, honestly.”

“I don’t think that’s because of you,” I hummed. “Derek is having a similar experience, honestly.  Sam has reported some vendors with fragrant stalls, but that’s been addressed.  Alistair, anything else?”

Without glancing up from his data screen, he shook his head. “Other than the incident with the smells, nothing negative reporting yet. Derek and Zachary have dutifully sent in additional reports regarding the reactions of each vendor to the food preference lists, so far the balance is in the positive. Samuel and Maverick are reporting similar responses.”

“And the upgrades?” Antoine asked hesitantly.

“So far, nothing major…” Alistair trailed off.  “Support personnel are reporting receiving proximity alerts from non-clients, and I’ve received several queries regarding if that is normal?”

“It’s expected,” Antoine sighed. “We are working on an algorithm that would reduce the alert volume for support personnel who are on duty and in the presence of their respective clients, but it wasn’t ready in time for this event.  But, yes, it is normal and to be expected.”

“Understood. Request approval to release a mass communication to all registered support personnel?”

“Approved,” Antoine and I answered immediately.  I continued. “Alistair, do we have any reports regarding the effectiveness of the dampeners?”

“Yes and no,” he stated. “General reports indicate conditions that are difficult to separate from the intended atmosphere of the event.”

“Tyche, are you still on Level Fourteen?”

“Yeah, why?”

“If we send you the reports from any participants in that area, do you have time to corroborate?”

“I mean, I do, but I thought I was supposed to be participating?”

“Sorry,” I winced in contrition. “You’re right. I just… got ahead of myself. Yeah, it can wait until after your shift at the event.  Just make sure you’re recording your observations so you can do an accurate comparison later, okay?”

“We’re both recording full video, Soph,” she assured me, a rustling noise in the background. “I’m about to head back out into it, but I promise to keep my eyes peeled.  I’ll keep shooting reports to you as I make my way through the vendors, okay?”

“Sounds good,” I exhaled, leaning back in my seat as she disconnected.  Watching the map for a few more minutes, I saw all three teams circulating through the event.  Sometimes a team would stop at a Quiet Room for several minutes before continuing.  Small reports were trickling in, some from the three teams, some from vendors, and others from support people who were simply attending the event in a professional capacity.  However, no further urgent matters were reported aside from Derek and Sam finding a handful of new foods each.

Finally, we were approaching the end of the low-stim session.

“Alpha Shift teams, relief teams for Beta Shift are on their way,” I notified them once we were fifteen minutes out from the end. “Beta Shift teams, please report when you are online.”

“Amelie Marechal, Crowd Control, reporting online and heading to rendezvous with Derek and Zach,” a cheerful voice chirped not two minutes later. I managed to smother a chuckle as Alistair scowled at me, remembering our conversation the day before.

“Coffee Williams, Crowd Control, reporting online and arriving to relieve Costa and Reid” came the next, this time a smooth baritone.  I hadn’t spent much time around the man, but Antoine assured me that he was perfect for diffusing difficult situations.

“Ivan Thorson, Crowd Control, online,” followed quickly after.  “Heading to meet with Amelie and relieve Tyche and Antoine.”

The next two Beta Shift members left me speechless. “Conor MacMaoilir, Crowd Control, online and relieving Maverick and Sam.”

“Grey Hodenson, Crowd Control Command, online. I’m with Conor and we are relieving Okima and Richardson.”

Alistair managed to sneak in a couple surprises of his own, apparently.  When I glared at him, he merely smirked at me before tipping a non-existent hat towards me.  I barely caught Mr. William’s teammate checking in before I managed to recover. “Sophia Reid, Alpha Shift Resource Command, reporting for hand off to Crowd Control Command. Grey, confirm handoff?”

“Handoff complete, Sophia,” came the familiar, neutral voice. Finally, they cracked and I could hear a smile in their next words. “Please take care to get some rest between now and Delta shift.  We expect that shift to be crowded, and you will be Resource Observation. Also, I would like to request that you do not allow Xiomara to kill Simon?”

“Hey, that’s a tall order!” I objected, only half-joking. “I’ll try, no promises. And I promise to get some rest.  First, I need Alpha shift teams to come debrief in my office, then I’ll take a rest interval for Gamma.  Deal?”

“Mr. MacMaoilir and I agree that is sufficient.”

“Maverick, make sure she gets some sleep, or I’ll let Tyche give you what for,” Conor interjected. I didn’t even try to suppress the groan that followed.

Introducing the two of them had turned out to be a terrible idea on my part.

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[sugirandom]

Tarot asks~ The Magician, The Emperor, The Hierophant, The Hermit, Justice, The Hanged Man, Temperance, The Tower, The Star, The Moon, The World

the magician: have you ever written a poem or song about somebody else?  Yes, when I was writing a lot of poetry they were always very personal so I wrote about family members, sometimes honoring those who’d passed, I’ve written about lovers (ex-lovers) and friends...on occasion though I would just use poems as a means of organizing my thoughts or trying to work out how I felt about something in life.

the emperor: what are some names that you like?   Oh boy, I love names...I use name guides all the time for characters but a few favorites that come to mind are Beatrice, Heinrich, Gabriel, and Sophia.

the hierophant: do you believe in ghosts?  Yes, I believe in both spirits and ghosts. I feel that ghosts are spirits who are still on Earth for whatever reason (unfinished business, unaware of being dead, etc.) and spirits are beings that have accepted their death and can have contact with the living but they are no longer bound by the desires they had in their lives.

the hermit: what is your favorite soda pop?  For the most part I don’t drink soda any more and tend to stick with water and tea but when I was in Japan I loved melon soda. I still don’t know why they haven’t sold it over here since Fanta is the distributor in Japan and we have Fanta here..oh well.

justice: favorite color of rose?  I do like the classic red color but I think when it comes to symbolism I actually prefer white roses.

the hanged man: favorite movie soundtrack?  It’s a tough choice between The Fifth Element, Nightmare Before Christmas, and The Prince of Egypt. The Fifth Element has a lot of good atmospheric music that’s nice for writing.

temperance: can you describe a strange dream you’ve had?  hmm, I can’t think of a specific one right now but I can tell you that lately an odd theme that has been showing up in my dreams is of me being in Japan and studying Japanese but somehow easily going home (to my home in the U.S.) easily and quickly as if I were studying at a school in the U.S. and not in Japan. Yet my dream makes an effort to specifically point out that the school is in Japan and I’m able to get home with in an hour or two without any airplane ride. And no, of course the dream doesn’t explain how that’s possible.

the tower: favorite colors to wear?  Black and cool spectrum colors like blues, purples, greys, I do wear warmer colors from time to time but yeah my favorites are the ones listed above (and green) especially because those colors tend to bring out my eye color the most.

the star: have you ever seen a psychic?  Yes, a few times...i really enjoy New Age things though I don’t go to them too often because I simply can’t afford their services or I’ll go to an introductory reading and get told that I need to have a cleansing (usually of chakras or just auras in general?) but that’s usually like $200 a lesson so I have to decline it. I can do that kind of stuff on my own anyway with mediation now so it’s no longer necessary.

the moon: have you ever written a love letter? Hmm, I’ve written love poems as mentioned earlier and my ex and I used to exchange written letters but I wouldn’t say that what I wrote was a love letter and it was more or less responding to her love letter. Also, if I’m confessing feelings to someone I prefer to do it in person even if that is a lot scarier than by letter.

the world: do you like waking up early?  I do! I wake up early and go to bed early and even though I’m having lots of issues sleeping I’m sticking to that as best I can. There’s always so much I want to take care of during the day and since I have limited energy I like to get started early. The only times I really stay up late at night are when I go to conventions and even then I have trouble sleeping in so I tend to be a sleep-deprived zombie near the end of conventions.

[spaz8550]

Stay

Ch 22

When Severus returned to Hogwarts he took to wandering the castle. Dolores Umbridge as Headmaster of Hogwarts was not something Severus or any of the other staff members wanted. He had taken some delight when she discovered Potter and the other students breaking the rules but Albus had taken the fall for Dumbledore's Army. Severus had already arranged for Professor Vector to watch over his house and Minerva agreed to take his patrols and he would take hers the following week. Dolores Umbridge often called upon him for Veritaserum to question students but he had been asked by Albus not to make any more and find a suitable excuse as to why he could not make any more. 

The days passed and soon it was the night before he and Sinead were to leave for the conference. He had written a brief letter assuring her he would arrive at her house the next day. Severus stood outside the Headmasters office after making sure the Hogwarts Express had left the station.

"Enter!" Severus walked into the office to see Dolores seated at Albus's desk looking over some papers. "What do you need Professor Snape?" She asked with a toad-like smile.

"Headmaster, I am here to tell you I will be leaving the castle for the annual Potions conference in Brussels." Her eyes widened.

"Since when are you attending?" She asked.

"I attend every year. It is a tradition, I know it is written in on the school calendar. Professor Vector will be watching over Slytherin House and Minerva is taking over my two patrols."

"Hmm... is there no other option. I would prefer to keep you on hand incase I need any potions."

"I have seen to it that the hospital wing is well stocked."

"When will you be leaving?"

"As soon as possible. I need to check in on my house before I leave."

"How long is the conference?"

"The conference is two days and I am allowed tomorrow and the day after the conference to travel."

"All of the other conferences are not during the school year. This is very much an inconvenience for not only myself but the other staff members. I shall write to the organizers and let them know. Since your travel arrangements are already made you are allowed to attend but from now on I think it is not a good idea unless I specifically ask you to attend. You may go." She said with a wave of her hand.

Severus walked quickly to the dungeons were his things were already packed. He quickly checked in on the few students who remained in his house and then he headed to the edge of the grounds to apparate to Spinners End. When he arrived he was in shock that Dolores Umbridge did not put up more of a fight. He looked around and saw the dust and after a few quick cleaning spells he decided to go to Sinead's house just incase Dolores changed her mind. He put his wards back up and apparated to the woods behind Sinead's home. Sinead's wards were strong but she had let him know which wards she had put up. Severus made his way across the backyard to see Sinead in the yard on a broomstick with Caleb sitting in front of her.

"Auntie!" He said pulling on her arm as Sinead landed.

"Severus-"

"I know I'm a day early but I didn't want to risk Dolores Umbridge changing her mind."

"Come on in, Trent and Maggie are just dropping off some deliveries for me and then everyone is done for the day."

"Severus, Auntie and I made homemade peanut butter cups for snack. Auntie, are they ready yet?"

"Yes, I think they should be ready. Maybe we can show Severus around first."

"A tour?" Caleb said hurrying to the door.

"I'm glad you’re here. I was a bit worried you wouldn't be able to make it."

"I would have found a way." Severus said following Sinead into the house.

The house looked small on the outside but inside it was very open. Sinead showed him around the first floor which was made up of the kitchen, dining room, family room, half bathroom, and a large library. In the basement was a rather large Potions lab that had five workstations and a good side storage closet. The third floor was a huge master bedroom with its own bathroom, and three bedrooms that shared a bathroom.

"I'm impressed, it's a lovely house."

"This is my bedroom for when I sleep over but mommy said I can't too often since Auntie is busy." Caleb said with a small pout. Trent arrived back a few minutes later since he was going to Hogsmeade, he handed Sinead a list of items the shop requested for the following week.

"Trent, you remember I'm off to the conference tomorrow so you'll be handling this order on your own. The shops in Salem and Boston know their orders will be sent out after I return."

"I remember." He said with a slight eye roll. "At least you don't nag as much as my wife." He mumbled as Sinead gave him a glare.

"I wonder what Sophia would say to that." Trent's eyes widened as Sinead started to laugh.

"Enjoy your trip. See you later." Trent headed over to the floo and gave his address as the green flames took him away. Maggie returned 5 minutes later to see Sinead cleaning Caleb's face.

"You got into the snacks again?"

"Auntie let me have some, I did help make them." Caleb said as Maggie nodded with a smile.

"Everything was shipped and here's the confirmation. Come on Cal, we're going to meet up with Bill for dinner." Maggie said as Sinead smirked, since she had moved out Bill had been spending quite a bit of time with Maggie and Caleb. He was dating a woman who worked at Gringotts but Maggie had mentioned that it didn't work out. Sinead was still surprised by the unlikely pair, she was sure Maggie liked Sirius but his being confined to Grimmauld Place might have put a damper on her feelings.

"Have fun at the conference." Maggie said picking up Caleb's bag and jacket.

"Bye Auntie." Caleb said giving Sinead a hug and he paused at Severus. "Bye Severus."

"Have fun with Bill." Sinead said as Maggie blushed. They flooed back to their flat and Sinead leaned against the counter. "What do you think?" She asked pointing to the peanut butter cups.

"They are good." 

Sinead smiled.

"Good, glad you like them. They're my favorite, I got the recipe from my cousin's wife."

Sinead started on dinner, she had started a pasta sauce earlier in the day and used it to make chicken parmesan. During dinner Severus went over the apparition schedule he had planned. After dinner Severus flicked his wand and the dishes began to wash themselves. Sinead went to go make sure she had everything packed when Albus showed up in the living room wanting to speak to Severus privately.

[the-record-newspaper]

Wilkes woman a Holocaust survivor: Part II

       Dr. Zohara Boyd

By HEATHER DEAN

Record Reporter

For seven decades, "never forget" has been a rallying cry of the Holocaust remembrance movement. Worldwide, the estimated number of living Holocaust survivors has fallen to 400,000 many of them in their 80s and 90s.  

A survey released last Thursday on Holocaust Remembrance Day, found that many adults in the United States lack basic knowledge of what happened. In part they found:

*31 percent of Americans believe that two million or fewer Jews were killed in the Holocaust; the actual number is around six million.

*41 percent of Americans cannot say what Auschwitz was.

*52 percent of Americans wrongly think Hitler came to power through force

During a recent visit to Dr. Rick Laws’GPS Program at the Ashe County Campus of Wilkes Community College, Dr. Zohara Boyd spoke about her Jewish family’s escape from the Warsaw Ghetto during WWII. Also speaking was Dr. Peter Petschauer, whose father was a journalist in the German SS.

"This is one of the things that people don't talk about, because we all want to believe in Happy Endings." Boyd says. "Especially in the United States every movie has to have a happy ending. In fact, many movies that are released in the U.S. have a completely different ending for those in the European market, that is perhaps, more realistic. Same with the war. People want to believe that if you have survived the war, you come out the other side as a saint the likes of Anne Frank or Elie Wiesel. But life goes on.  Crooks continue to pick pockets, memories are not very wonderful ones, and stuff stays with you. You wonder who your parents really were. I wonder what my parents really had to do to survive, and I will never have an answer to any of that. The whole issue of 'What Becomes of thesurvivors?", those surviving survival, especially those of us who flee and move to a completely different country, getting immersed in a completely different culture. Especially a place where, throughout all my childhood years, everyone looked at me and asked why I didn't smile more, because if you were a girl, they expected you to have that Miss America grin with bright sparkly teeth. You cannot say to anybody what is really going on inside, that by daylight you are one person, but at night it's like the proverbial vampire coming out."

          She said when the tornado came tearing through Wilkes in October, it turned over trees and crushed she and her husband's cars. They, along with their dog, hid in the closet. "Our house was shaking, and things were striking against it. And at the time, I'm not sure quite how to describe it, but I was too scared to be scared at the moment. But   since then, the bombs from Warsaw have come back. Those are the souvenirs that people like us carry. No matter how good things are."

         After the war her father became a judge again. She showed his diploma from where he had graduated law school. It had his real name, Moses, on it. Turns out, he carried that document throughout the war, and if that have been found on his person the gig would have been up for the entire family, and they would have all been executed on the spot. "There are things that you cherish so much, that are the core of your identity, that my father was willing to take that risk. To survive the war he had to change his identity several times. Your core can become a big hole as well. I don't know how exactly to describe that either, there is always a sense of being... an imposter in your own skin." Boyd said.

         "Scars are not always on the outside" she continued. "I ended up in a good place, but there will also always be those 3 a.m. holes in my body and soul. Take from that what you will, but the one thing I hope you do take is that you always have the choice, between trusting, and hating. I hope none of you in this classroom are filled with hate, or extremism and I hope that if you see it happening you will be on the trust side. Do not just walk away, or turn your head, especially that we are now living in times that have a huge Shadow over them."

         She specifically mentioned Charlottesville, Virginia, and the protests where white supremacists were giving Nazi salutes and carrying around Nazi swastikas. "I lived through a time where a nation's leader, to make himself look good, started shutting down the free press and..."

         At this point she got silent and was visibly became overwhelmed by the memories. Dr. Peter Petschauer stepped in. "Authoritarian personalities always have the same pattern. The pattern is so systematic and so specific that it is frightening."

         “In Germany the Judiciary System was first. Then they went after the press. In Russia right now, as well as in Turkey, journalists who don't report the approved propaganda, making the leaders look good, are being put in prison. Authoritarians go after a certain group. In Germany it was the Jews, in Turkey it's the Kurds, and in America right now it's the Spanish speaking people. In Russia it's people from the south."

         "The two of us, we are immigrants, but you can't tell by looking at us. What’s going on in America is not the first time that immigrants were rounded up in the country put on buses and shipped away."

         “Then there is a nationalistic aspect of it: The flag. In pictures of Hitler's Germany, you see the flags everywhere. There are so many flags that you almost can't see past them. Much like now in Turkey, in North Korea.”

         “There are also the military characteristics, as no authoritarian

goes without showing off the military force behind them, like having military parades. When you see these things creeping up, that's the point to start paying attention." Dr. Petschauer said.

         After the war Dr. Boyd’s family had to remain Catholic, because Poland was still a very anti-Semitic country. Even after the war there were massacres of Jewish death camp and war survivors in neighboring cities. Boyd said "I remember, we had to leave home in the middle of the night with only two suitcases, because my father was anti-communist and wrote a letter about it. And then someone else was brave enough to publish it. We headed for Paris, and spent two months there, before going to Canada."  

         She was 7 years old when they reached Canada, and she was put straight into a school where she did not even speak the language. It was called The Jewish people's School. "And what the hell is little Catholic Sophia doing in a Jewish school learning to read Hebrew, and changing her name to Zohara?" She mused. After all, being Catholic was all she had ever known to be.

         Even though Dr. Boyd's father was a judge, once they got to Canada he had to take whatever job was available, working two sometimes three jobs at once. She said one time he worked as a spot welder, even though he'd never held a welding torch in his life; He worked at a factory implanting hair into baby dolls heads; He had a job as a short order cook, even though his wife wouldn't let him in her kitchen at home. "He got quite good at cooking" Boyd recalled with a smile.  

         Finally when his English got better, he became a translator. He could speak several languages- German, Polish, Russian, even some Japanese, and he became head of translation Department for a magazine.

         Boyd said a reason that many Jewish immigrants are doctors is because the human anatomy is the same all over the world. "So if you've got to go on the run it's a perfect job. That and diamond cutting- because you can carry your workshop in your pocket. These have become considered very "Jewish" professions. So if you've ever wondered why it's Fiddler on the Roof, and not “Piano player on the roof”, there's your answer," she said.

         Eventually Dr. Boyd's aunt and uncle, who had been living in America since before the war broke out, were able to sponsor her family and move them into the U.S.             Dr. Petschauer also had family in the stateside, so he was able to immigrate to attend school. They both made the point that though sponsorship of immigrants through family members is something that the current administration is wanting to ban, immigration is vital to keep the American dream alive, and in cases like Boyd’s, who was a war refugee, save lives.

         As far as what pushed them forward, to over come the nightmares the difficulty, and to become as educated as possible, Dr. Petschauer smiled and borrowing a line from the Broadway musical Hamilton said   "Immigrants, we can do it.", to a room full of applause.

           Petschauer went on to say that people who are born in this country don't have to prove themselves to become successful. He said that as an immigrant you can't afford to be ‘just anybody on the job.’ That an American could go to a job and be lackadaisical about getting things done, but immigrants on the other hand, would be on the street without a second chance. “We as immigrants are forced to succeed,” he said.

         Boyd also said she would love to see everyone in America take a DNA test, because there is no such thing anymore as a pure race. Especially like the extremist flag waving men in Charlottesville.

         As far as keeping heritage alive, Petschauer said "It would be so nice to have a genuine discussion, and not an argument about what to do with our heritage. Do we leave statues up, or take them down? Do we erase names from inscriptions or leave them up?”

         In Germany every graveyard has lists of people who died, even from the war of 1877 against France. There are more monuments to remember the Holocaust in Germany, than anywhere else, even though there were no death camps in Germany. So what do we do with these war artifacts? There is a place for them; we just have to figure out where. This is not just a German or American lesson. These people died, so that we might not do this again. So we can turn this into a positive, not just a wrong or right," he said.

          If you have ever watched a documentary or done history on WWII, the majority of Holocaust videos and pictures are in black and white, so the extreme horror almost doesn't compute in our heads, as it is not in living color. But there have been artists going back and colorizing them to show the full brutality, and the outcome has been quite moving. Petschauer pointed out that we should learn from history that war is terrible, and not want to do this to our fellow man. But on the other hand, as Tevia would say, some people learn, especially those with authoritarian tendencies, that war is great, and want to use this against the human race.  For instance, Senator John McCain was tortured as a PoW serving in Vietnam, and has said he would stop any efforts to reintroduce torture or other harsh interrogation tactics. However, authoritarians are fine with torture because they will never personally be affected by it.

         On how we can be better humans, make a difference, and make a change toward trust not hate Dr. Petschauer said "Don't look away when you see something happening. You may see abuses on a smaller daily scale. Have the guts to say something, even though it's not so easy. Maybe it's a teacher who's done something wrong, a pastor who is stealing from the church, something unfair at your place of business. You may loose friends or your job, but you won't loose the most important thing: your humanity. One thing that bothers me the most is that we live in a Christian Nation, and people are behaving as if they've never heard of Christ, or things that Christ stood for.”                        Speaking of Christ, Dr. Boyd cut in "Her I am a Jewish lady quoting the New Testament like a good Baptist. On immigration laws, Jesus said "I was a stranger and you fed me" With healthcare, Jesus miracles took away sickness and pain and helped those with affliction. And welfare? Jesus fed the masses as he spoke."

         Boyd continued: "Elie Weisel said you don't have to do big global things to make a difference. There are people in nursing homes that never get a visitor. There are children in orphanages that never get to go out and play in a park or go out for ice cream. Go to the animal shelter and play with the shelter animals, so they can be sociable and adoptable. The next time a stranger comes up to you and asks you to spare a couple dollars, even if you know it's probably for alcohol or drugs, give it to them, because that is their need. Don't look away from them, look them in the eye, and acknowledge their humanity."

         "These may seem like small things in Greater scale of the universe, but Judaism doesn't believe in giant acts of faith for salvation. What we believe is in the day by day mending of the universe. It is everyone's job to mend the fabric between us and God that was torn during the first act of disobedience. Even though you think your stitches may be tiny, they help the fabric not to rip any further."

[academla]

I am shouting into the void/writing open letters to my haters, but I would like to get some things clear. First of all, for TWMLLO my goal was to write something angsty and kill myself with feels and that would be the end of it. Then I thought I might post it. So I did, and I didn’t necessarily mean to portray Newt as a “””cinnamon roll””” but let’s also acknowledge that, contrary to what this group apparently thinks, it is okay. There is no right or wrong way to enjoy fandom or write a character.

By the end of TWMLLO, by the way, I think we would all argue that he was pretty badass. And, just in my defense, one of the most common kudos to my work has been regarding character development. But people apparently want instant Newtina, and that’s it. Who cares about dynamic, round characters.

As for OCs. Maybe it’s just me being more than a fanfic writer, but OCs happen. I didn’t mean for any of them to be there. I really didn’t. I meant to write the kind of fic you all would have probably expected and liked. But as a writer, and writing being in my fucking blood, I went with it. And luckily, for the majority of readers, it went over extremely well.

Let’s also mention that you don’t have to love an OC to still read a story. Plenty of people didn’t like Sophia at first, and warmed to her. Some of them still may not like her, but that doesn’t mean they steadfastly refuse to read about her. In my TWMLLO survey, I had a variety of answers for favorite OCs. I got Theseus, Elsie, Lucille, even Frida. Plenty of successful published authors have 1. haters and 2. characters that people don’t like. 

It’s my job as a writer to write characters that are dynamic and believable. A good writer is one whose characters come alive (which someone kindly said mine did). So I don’t see it as something worth talking shit about, just because somebody decided to make it more than fanfiction, and create a whole other world.

Now. Speaking of which. Should we talk about the fact that I created American wizarding world? That I did hella research? Because I did, and I loved it, and I would think that devoted fans would find that interesting and fun, rather than something to disregard and, hey, talk shit about.

I do question you if your obsession is such that you can’t handle an OC taking the spotlight off of Newt, or you can’t handle a specific portrayal of Newt. Hey, if you know everything, write the damn fanfic yourself, but don’t assume everyone else will do it exactly the way you want them to. And certainly do not say negative shit behind their backs because they don’t.

It sounds to me that you want 10000% basic fanfiction. Not any type of fiction. Pure, concentrated, canon, to-the-tee, no-character-development, fanfiction. And that’s fine! But what is not fine is sitting around in a group chat spending your time bashing every single person who has chosen to take their fanfiction a step further, who has chosen to use the given world as a baseline and to grow from there. Who, in short, has a different idea from you. The world has enough of people ostracizing those who don’t have the same exact ideas as them. Please don’t add to it. It’s a damn movie.

You are absolutely entitled to your own opinions. We all have them, and I’m sharing mine. But do not present your opinions as fact, and do not use those self-declared facts to harass others who do not adhere to your reality. And no, I cannot tell people what to spend their time doing; you’re absolutely right. I just want to speak up, because those are my feelings, and why it is so confusing to me that these groups exist. Remember, nothing on the internet is private, and if you think you’re getting away with talking shit behind people’s backs, you probably aren’t actually. *finger guns*

I understand why you might be obsessed. I really do. I understand how you can get attached to a character. I was actually that way, to a toxic and mentally unstable degree, with a fictional character. I know the feel. But I never took it to that extent. I never talked shit with my friends when people wrote fanfiction that incorporated OCs. I never assumed everyone should share my opinion. I never discarded and disparaged head canons I did not think were plausible. I understand the thought process and feelings. I don’t understand the actions that stem from those.

Anywho, thank god for read more. Should I tag this #negativity? Probably. Maybe I should tag it #childish too. Who knows.

[keremulusoy]

The art of calligraphy, which has been practiced for centuries in Turkish Islamic  Tradition and has been accelerated according to various ecoles and styles, has been advanced in Ottoman Tradition in every century starting from the reign of Sultan Mehmet  The Conqueror.

Considering the traditional Turkish arts, the calligraphy, which is one of the preliminary examples to come to mind, is for those willing to dedicate their lives to it; it is an art looking for calligraphers who practice the art with their eyes, their heart and their hand. The lexical meaning of calligraphy is writing and line which is written and performed in accordance with the principles of practice in the art literature and is known as calligraphy art which appeals to visual and aesthetic tastes.

“Painting With Writing” Hüsnühat (the art of nice and neat writing) or calligraphy systems are used in the methods of art practice. The fact that it contains texts that provide information on a specific subject creates difficulty due to both the way of implementation and the hardship of its execution. Therefore visual and aesthetic perception of the image in the form of the writing feature outweigh.  Uğur Derman is one of the most prominent performers of the art of calligraphy and tradition which has such a long-established style and tradition, and also contributed to the historical and academic development of this art…

He describes his life, his love for calligraphy, and the efforts he has embraced in this endeavor in the same way as the soft folds of a calligraphy letter. “Sir, I’m a pharmacy, but I’m a man who’s devoted to our traditional arts. In 1960, I became a pharmacist, but from 1955 on, I became interested in traditional arts, especially calligraphy. My master is Necmeddin Okyay. I’ve been interested in calligraphy for 63 years.  During this time, I have always been interested in this art. But I have a malady called amblyopia, innate, I guess, due to the inability of my sight functions I had to leave calligraphy practice after a while. Then I realized that; there is not a lot of reference source for the relevant artists in terms of history and technique of these arts. After 1961, I am dedicated to researching the history of traditional Turkish arts. Especially the calligraphy. Now that I look back, I see that there are over 30 books and more than 500 articles.”

Calligraphy From Iran To Ottoman Considering the historical development of calligraphy, although its origins are based on the Arabic alphabet, Uğur Derman indicates Istanbul as a touchstone while explaining the main development of the art within the framework of Turkish-Ottoman culture and art and how art has developed in this process of change. “Calligraphy is a great art that glorifies in the hands of Turks for nearly a thousand years.This art was performed by the Great Seljuks in Iran, then the Anatolian Seljuks and finally the Ottoman, respectively.However, calligraphy gained speed especially in the Ottoman period with the conquest of Istanbul. Again, during this period, it also acquires a national character. While it is considered as an Arabic alphabet, starting from the 1490s, calligraphy enters into the process of kneading and interpretation within the scope of Ottoman art gathering-places. From this date on we can call this art a genuine Turkish-Ottoman art. With this beginning, its graphics and aesthetic value increased and continued until the 20th century. Almost no retreat had ever happened.”

In the art of calligraphy is a long and laborious process that continues with a master-apprentice relationship. The student eager to learn pays utmost attention to the words of the master, and also to the style of the hand, and to the style of calligraphy. Starting with one-on-one lessons, the process proceeds towards the path of the apprentice following the steps such as the apprenticeship, journeyman and eventually mastership. Prof. Dr. Uğur Derman explains why the art of calligraphy is called Turkish-Ottoman art by drawing attention to this characteristic, and how it has become aesthetically rooted in this period.

Zakat Of Art “Calligraphy is learnt one one-to-one within the scope of the master-student relationship, not with an educational understanding provided in a public classroom. Not in a public class with collective education. Every student is taken care of by his/her teacher one by one. The most important thing is the fact that there is no material interest or accounting plan between the teacher and the student during the transfer of information, style, and attitude. The calligraphy master owes his student a debt o gratitude because back in the old days his own master also did not have any financial expectations. This is called the alms of art. This chain is moving in such a manner that it never breaks. Of course, art can renew itself every century. It has not been stuck in its traditional form and has been progressed and improved in terms of style and aesthetic style. You’ll appreciate that change in art is utterly important. This tradition brings along the aesthetic change and the reinterpretation of the form.” After 1928, the calligraphy is entering a static process with the Alphabet Revolution. But by that time, the master had been able to move forward without compromising from the apprentice relationship. The age of the generation can read the Ottoman letters and the new generations learned the Latin letters. But I can say that this pause process has begun to change slightly for the last twenty and thirty years. A more concerned, a more focused on generation began to catch up in this field. This art, after all, is practiced by heart. There are aspirants who set their heart on this art. In other words, after a process of disconnection, the calligraphy was born again. But it never was like the glorious period of the Ottoman Empire.”

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Necmettin Okyay and Uğur Derman (1961, at the rose garden of Necmettin Okyay)

The art of calligraphy has a non-equivalent tradition in Western culture and art history. He began to cultivate himself in many traditional arts such as architecture, gilding, miniature, music, especially in the second half of the 18th century. It continues its impeccable entity by linking the lack of deformation to the art of calligraphy from the influence of Western culture.

The signature used by Kadıasker Mustafa İzzet Efendi on the panel at Hagia Sophia.

Western Interest On Eastern Caligraphy Although the changes brought by the modern age have negative effects on the transfer of our traditional arts to the next generations, maybe it aroused the interest of Orientalists over time with orientalist wonder.Uğur Derman attributes this interest to the tradition of calligraphy as well as its visual, aesthetic richness.

“Westerners’ interest in our traditional art has always been intense. Maybe you heard the name of a French painter called Léopold Lévy. He came to our country in the 1940s and made a lot of interest and compliment to our traditional arts, especially calligraphy. We hear that Pablo Picasso was very interested in calligraphy and he added that he admires these lines. Moreover, it is the Algerian line that he saw, if he could have seen the Ottoman calligraphy works, I am sure that his interest would increase. There are also studies called scribbleby calligraphists. What is a scribble indeed? Once the calligrapher finishes his ordered piece of work and doesn’t have an occupation, just like how the footballer does the practice or the pianist works four hours a day, he also makes letters and sentences with his reed pen and ink in order to practice his hand skills.  And the top of the sheet is so full that it’s called a scratch. As it is written with carbon black ink, it seems even darker. Westerners are fond of this work, they see it as a figurless painting. Interestingly, I witnessed the western artists or the enthusiasts most admire these messy sketches with disarranged lines”.

The calligraphy, which lived its most magnificent days during the Ottoman Empire, is nowadays far away those days. UgurDerman, who also mentioned this point during our conversation, is showing one of the examples of tens of calligraphy produced labouringly and decorating the walls of his house.  He begins to read the harmony, formerly used as ornaments on doors and window lids, in the stanza practised by Kadi-ul asker Mustafa İzzet Efendi in accordance with the grace of calligraphy: “N’olagülmîh-ibâbıakdesintâcolsaşâhâna/Kisensinpâdişehlerpâdişehieyşeh-ilevlâk (…). Eymefhar-ıdüâlemeyâseyyide’l-beşer”

NOTES:

A Major Art Exalted At The Hands Of The Turks Calligraphy is a major art that have been exalted at the hands of the Turks for about a millennium. The art’s major eras are called: Great Seljukian Empire in Iran, Anatolian Seljukian Empire and finally Ottoman eras. But especially during Ottoman era, the calligraphy gained pace right after conquest of Istanbul. It also acquired a national character during the same era.

Written Authorization The person occupying in calligraphy is called as “calligraphist”. Calligraphistshave grown in the master-apprentice relationship for centuries. The person who is aspiring to learn calligraphy should take lessons from a calligraphist.First of all, the spelling of letters one by one, then the merging forms of two letters and its rules are learned. Later on,it is passed to mergingmore than two letters that is, line study. For this, initially usually a long ode, then some verse of the Koran and hadiths, prayers, words of wisdom are written. Candidate of calligraphist takes a kind of exam by writing before two or three calligraphistsat the end of this training, which takes approximately three to five years.  If calligraphistsapprove this writing, they sign it. This is called “written authorization”.

By: Necati Bulut / Photo: Bahar Alban

*This article was  published in the  May– June issue of Marmara Life.

An Entire Life Dedicated To Calligraphy Prof. Dr. Uğur Derman The art of calligraphy, which has been practiced for centuries in Turkish Islamic  Tradition and has been accelerated according to various ecoles and styles, has been advanced in Ottoman Tradition in every century starting from the reign of Sultan Mehmet  The Conqueror.

[ladyofmind]

September to Remember

Is anyone else losing time with no idea where it’s going?

That’s how September went for me. Made some changes to better be prepared for keeping my social media presence alive while trying to do that little writing thing I love so much. Still don’t know how to solve the problems my editor brought to my attention, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, I have been gearing up for NaNoWriMo and preparing ahead of losing more time then. (Dare I mention holiday stuff? Like the Christmas shopping started, or the semi prepping 2 months worth of game boards and daily arts? Should totally follow my Patreon link for more on that!)

So basically? Finally might be getting ahead of the dreaded 8-ball. At least #CharactersHell was a success! Got to count the little victories too.

The awesome thing is that it’s now October, so I have many things to look forward to. Kilt Fest again, Halloween cookies... Things that you guys might love seeing, beyond my writing updates. Which of course, this is... September rounds up below.

#WIPTruthOrDare

1- T- My WIP starts in fall, covers Halloween quite well, for a bar.

2- T- No… Maybe it's simply the way in which I've hurt MC that I don't like...

3- T- Tweety! No one else works that hard or makes it look that easy.

4-T- Tweety is a plantser… Couple ideas to start the ball rolling, but no clue what will happen after that.

5-T- Tweety has reputation to uphold, so she's always early… Providing others don't run late...

6- D- Sly slips in for this, toting a mixed bag of books, including the last book he needed, Historical Society handbook/guide. “This usually fixes everything.”

7- D- Well, the last time SOMEONE didn't do what was expected, a good guy ended up with a black eye and handcuffed to a bed frame...

8- T- Tweety has those friends that pick on you for fun. But the Antags are the worst.

9- T- Deej has a “pet” Lynx or two.

   D- Antag would like to know if humans count as pets?

10- T- the accents! The Scotney needs a proper balance, or else it's too harsh!

11- T- For no spoilers, we go to Woods, who's waiting to see if the band gets signed.

12- D- Already did it, got to read the book…

     T- From that same, yes… Plus exhausted legs all the time.

13- T- Some are, some aren't. It's a diverse community, so all sorts of beliefs.

14- T- Tweety writes, reads, sleeps… mostly soaks and falls asleep journaling.

15- D- Costumes! Write a specific or nonspecific creature into WIP and share! Vs Halloween costumes

16- T- so close they call the bunch of them Trouble girls. At least 3-5 of them.

17- T- Soak, pick out an outfit, write and sleep, only to change her mind in the morning.

18- T- Truth be told, someone had to be… Or at least a clear “villain” in that scene.

19- T- Both. One cannot truly live without both. One you just see more of...

20- T- Tweety is a soda only sort of woman. She can mix a mean punch though.

21- T- Yes. Sophia avoids the ex that's with her employee. Love triangles suck, and people suffer.

22- T- Tweet wakes up, dresses, works, sleeps and repeats with small breaks of craziness.

23- T- Yes as it's a semi current Earth.

24- T- Sophia takes a drink since Tweet is too “nice” while Brandon and Tim just take a shot at her.

25- T- Tweety. She's the kind one taking care of others. No one likes the things that happen...

26- T- Tweety and Sly. Tweet’s prepared for crazy and come ons, while Sly is a wealth of knowledge.

27- T- Honestly? This Diner/Beach Travel thing. So real and intimate...

28- T- The same one who regularly fries the Jukebox trying to “fix” it. - Deej

29- T- I think Remmy, or Sly have a great grasp and can do justice as narrator.

30- T- Tweety does even to her own detriment… #spoilers

#wipwordsearch

1- Bebe shot through the room, if one could #run and skip, she seemed to be doing it.

2- Even nearly #falling onto a guy and barely keeping her red rubies caged looked classy.

3- Angus and Scotty had the good sense to first agree with Woods, and then do their darnedest to get Brandon to #leave while he was still in one piece.

4- Frost #groaned, something in her face gave him the funny feeling in his gut again.

5- When Tweet, Runta, and Ally came out from their fix up, it started with one #whistle, which turned into more and soon had the girls blushing at the reaction.

6- The #gravelly tone wasn’t lost on either of them, "Tonight's lesson- don’t start anything you can't control."

7- He seemed to lose himself in that thought; mindlessly working the bottle around, as if #twisting it would #twist him free of whatever plagued his mind.

8- He didn't stop until she looked much more alive, and likely to melt and #drip right out of the car.

9- Not that Bebe on her side of the bar would be outdone. She would make her own group #gasp at her antics and outbursts, Nira at her hip, egging her on.

10- She could still see and remember all the ugly things she believed of herself, but now she couldn’t touch it, couldn't revel in it like a pig in #mud.

11- Woods smiled again, already figuring out how to #rock out as a version of Wolverine.

12- "If it's a pole you want luv, I'm ready and willing to be of assistance anytime." He chuckled, her eyes #rolled in exasperation, yet her face said she loved it; even her lips twitched warring not to smile.

13- Woods' gaze #drifted to the stage, and a smile stirred his face for the first time in what felt like a long time. "Do you mind…?"

14- A #chill went down Tweet's spine, she could have done without music now, and certainly never wanted to hear that song ever again.

15- NO DUSK

16- NO GUTTERAL

17- "Ok, ok I'm sorry I snore, but you kick. If either of us should #cry over bad sleeping habits, it could be me."

18- She first needed to wash away the sweat and #grime that came from his violent sleep.

19- "It's just that he's a big ladies man, #spent most of the day getting all kinds of attention from the ladies, probably thought he could get you to do it too. Roger's not a bad kiddo, just not smart about his manners."

20-  It had been so long ago, but now he clearly remembered #Grandma Jeanie.

21- They even coaxed a guy into trying out as a chef. He'd been #sweet talked into whipping up some lunch, even if it was sandwiches, and somehow he was grateful for the opportunity.

22- She hated the battle, but knew in her #heart, it was right to worry about the complications of leaving and untangling things.

23- Her father sounded similar when he was drunk, and her mother usually #bore the bruises to prove it.

24- "I spoke the truth doll face; it does look like your #closet exploded." She stuck her tongue out at him, and he made the pinching motion at her.

25- Most of the surrounding clubs were #seedy and their names tried to sound respectable, but you could see it from the street how they operated.

26- Smiling to himself, his randomness started to sound like Bill #Withers to his own ears. Use Me came to mind and he went with it, making sure to pay more attention on Tweety.

27- The band started playing on the stage; the cymbal #crash and reverberation out of the guitar were perfect attention getters.

28- the one time she would enjoy having a silent sort of boyfriend was also the time he decided to talk..."I swear to god, if you open your mouth, it better be to #sing or to simply use your lips. Anything else and I will walk out right now."

29- She moved to strapping on the mask, a pretty purple piece, with lines of glitter around the eyes and the mask edges. It had slight points at the top edges of the mask, and on them were a line of gems; in amethyst, ruby, and #sapphire blue.

30- He had too many hopes and dreams for one night. If she was as good as he hoped she was, a #month wouldn't even be enough to scratch the surface.

#CharactersTell

1/9- *Looks around before stepping up* “I believe I am to volunteer for this round of questions, as education is my strong suit. While you may have heard me called a Thesaurus, I prefer Sly, your night time bartender.” (in the Red Letters series)

2/9- Sly- “Currently, I am a college student, but I have an education from books. Well read is an understatement for me...”

3/9- Sly- "I'm a transplant. An Aussie originally, these classes abroad are amazing, but the hours are rough on me. So what if they joke I'm a vampire? At least I have all sorts of foreign educations…"

4/9- Sly- "Up until recently, I preferred to be a lone wolf if you will. Maybe I had a friend outside of school that shared my hours and moods, but usually only one at a time."

5/9- Sly- "The subjects that were not my best, they had a tendency to bore me or be harder. In my favorite classes, I did get much further ahead. Certain classes were practically finished in months."

6/9- Sly- "I do prefer my solitude yes. Only now am I learning to embrace the education from interesting people."

7/9- Sly- *The verbose bartender pauses* "I do not like talking about that with anyone."

#CharactersTell

8/9- A strange woman walks on stage, dressed in mismatching items with a pink wig on. "Oh honey, if you don't know who I am, you're in the wrong bar. You may have the privilege of calling me Lady Sophia."

9/9- Lady Sophia- "What education do you think you deserve? I have many teaching styles…" (So, not your Ivy League grad here…)

10/9- Lady S- "This is a toss up. I personally loved music classes, as I AM a singer. But I did attend nearly every gym class… Between the health classes and all that physical movement? Best thing to study and then put into practice, usually behind bleachers."

11/9- Lady S- "Of course. History already happened, so who cares? Only reason I kinda went to math and economics class was because of a guy. Really if there wasn't something to stare at, I picked and chose."

12/9- Lady S- "Define popular? Like rah rah shove a pom pom up my (bleep) popular? (bleep) no darling, but I did develop my own following and acclaim, for my talents…"

13/9- Lady S- "Bothering is such a simple word. I had my share of "stalkers" and "can't get enoughers" but there were people who considered me a "bother". Inappropriate is really in the eye of the beholder, you know?"

14/9- Lady S- "As much as that does not matter now, I actually had great grades in economics and decent ones in business related electives. No wonder where my business owner skills came from."

#CharactersHell

1- Just your average bar for crazy people. Little history, little future building, lots of music and dreams...

2- It's a woman's fiction genre because it's more than just a romance or slice-of-life story.

3- The challenges are the characters mostly! Some go off the rails and it's hard to get them back… Others think I am writing SFF, or something more X rated. Mostly it's just "how to host/run a bar while antisocial."

4- This WIP is something I've been working on for a long time, and I can never get it out of my head. This story wants out and it's pursuing me to no end, challenges and all.

5- I wouldn't say my world is very harsh, but there are some bad elements that make it less than pretty...

6- There are multiple levels of evil, some you can see, others are working in secret together.

7- Besides the fact that it's a bar, therefore full of alcohol? Well, there is a sort of brothel thing going on in the background that Tweety doesn't care for...

8- This one's a toss-up. Remmy is in a broken relationship from the start. Tweety is in a relationship, and yet not….

9- Remmy is aware, though that doesn't make it hurt any less. Tweety wasn't to start, but does realize, and it makes it harder to work.

10- Remmy is at a 9, while Tweety is at about 4. One is more likely to leave than the other, and Tweet has far more than a budding relationship to worry about.

11- For Remmy's hellmaker, she's aware she just doesn't care. For Tweety, Woods doesn't realize her inner workings. Woods can be kind of clueless...

12- Remmy does, in Long Island Iced Teas made by Tweety. Tweety can over flirt when her feelings are hurt or she's trying to pretend...

13- Oh definitely. The third parties are endless, including the bar owner Sophia, bandmates like Brandon, and just general other patrons in the bar. Can't forget Tim too...

14- In a relationship likely to cheat? Has to be Raven. The rest of the group have sort of fluctuating relationships where you can't tell if they're together or not so you really can't call it cheating.

15- Tweety is to blame for some of what she's gotten herself into, but not all of its her fault, some of its circumstance from the job she's in...

16- Oh all the time. Tweety isn't known as a Trouble girl for no reason, and you don't hear them calling Double or Triple Trouble without her friends.

17- They are in both kinds of hell. It's a lot of psychological stuff, until it becomes physical. Breaking things both mentally, and the furniture too.

18- It's likely a lot of characters won't come out the same. But they will survive, just changed, and scarred...

19- Oh yeah the lusty people are the original bar workers, with the exception of Frost.

20- As it says in the book, nobody would be hanging out in a bar if they didn't have personal stuff too. At least our bar workers, patrons are different story.

21- Generally it's not very gory, except for the scenes that are meant to be. Try to keep them to at least one really graphic thing a book...

22- I hate editing, it's harder for me to fix things when I'm still not seeing the problem.

23- Now I do, some software, an actual editor (mine's @scribecat check out her awesomeness!)… makes this process a little easier.

24- A lot of the time it's binge-watching something and getting away from writing.

25- if it's a long weekend, and I know I don't have to work the real job, sometimes there's alcohol...

26- My problem characters are always the smart ones. Like Sly, who's nicknamed the human thesaurus; or Nira, who's like a crazy genius… Sometimes they are smarter than I am.

27- I hold on to a lot of stuff, so worst memories are critiques- school writing stuff long before I knew I was to be a writer.. stuff I should be over but still haunts me. Or the times I tore out notebook pages with "failed" first chapters. Never get those back..

28- #FF

29- Tim hits almost all of them, like Pride, Lust, Greed, Envy and Wrath. They pair up, like pride and greed, but especially lust, Envy, wrath working all together...

30- Tim? Oh he's depraved enough to revel in it, and I doubt he'll be redeemable… Can't make the leopard change his spots.

[mustlovemustypages]

2017 Yuletide Letter

Hello Yuletider!

I’m glad you’re here and reading this letter. Please know that I am extremely grateful for your time and all of the effort you will be making to write the best story (or stories) possible. Listed below are some of my favorite “small” fandoms and the ships that I adore in each. Most of these fandoms are ones that I think ended too soon or there wasn’t as much exploration of the ships as I would have liked.

Please don’t feel boxed in by my requests. At the very bottom, I’ve tried to explain what I do/don’t like in the most concise way possible. Don’t stress too much about your writing as I’m sure whatever you create will be fantastic... if you love these fandoms enough to write about them, you’re my favorite kind of person.

**Edited: Thanks to a coalie for pointing out that I hadn’t actually specified which characters I am requesting... my bad!**

Pitch:

Characters: Ginny Baker and Mike Lawson

I was in a rut for days after finding out that Pitch was canceled. There was so much left unresolved!

Mike/Ginny are it for me and this show, although Blip/Evelyn are pretty great too and if they were a side couple I wouldn’t complain.

My main request is that you fix it so Ginny and Mike are together. I don’t care if you have this happen after canon in a “Season 2” sort of way, or if you twist some of the storylines around so that they get together earlier. I just want to read about it happening so that I smile a ton and forget about the tragedy that is this show’s cancellation.

A few ideas:

Hurt/Comfort in dealing with Ginny’s anxiety/panic attack or some lingering PTSD with the car accident.

The team and the media having fun and talking about how Ginny and Mike are perfect for each other and how they know every single thing about each other while remaining completely oblivious to the fact.

The Darkest Minds:

Characters: Ruby Daly and Liam Stewart

X-Men was my jam when I was younger, and The Darkest Minds is basically X-Men set in a dystopian world with really loveable characters.

Liam is such a sweetheart. Book 2 when he gets his memories back had me literally crying. Ruby is a precious gem that needs to be protected at all costs, even if it’s from herself. Chubs and Zhu are amazing, and I love the little family the four of them made together. Vida was also really great, and so was Cole… and you get the point. I loved them all.

Story ideas:

Reunions are the best. Write how you would have liked the Liam and Ruby reunion in Book 2 to have played out or expand on canon to bring on even more feels. Other character reunions are also welcome.

Show Ruby’s struggle with her abilities and how she copes in healthy/unhealthy ways.

I wish there were more scenes exploring the dynamics of Cole, Liam, and Ruby (not in an OT3 sort of way). Writing an extension of the scene that took place in the shower with Ruby and Cole where they talk more about their respective relationships with Liam and their powers would be interesting.

Write a “scene between scenes” dealing with some of your favorite dramatic moments of the book series.

Tru Calling:

Characters: Tru Davies (and Davis if desired)

THIS SHOW… It’s been over a decade and I’m still not over its cancellation. I’m really open with what you write for this fandom since there is such a lack of fics.

I only care about Tru being the main character. Including Davis is optional, although I really did enjoy the friendship between him and Tru on the show. Tru/Jack is my favorite ship, but I know Jack is not in the tagset (because I was an idiot and messed up my nominations) so I can’t specifically request him. If you do include Jack, that would be amazing, but don’t feel pressured to do so. 

Story ideas:

Continue the story. This can be your own headcanon of what would have happened, or what the various cast/crew members revealed would have happened (basically the show was going to revolve around the mythology of two opposing forces in the world that balanced each other out in terms of life/death).

Write an episode-like story where Tru gets the traditional “save me” in the morgue and goes back in time to save their life. 

Show the toll that all of Tru’s dealings with death are having on her, and how certain people in her life help her cope (i.e. Jack, Davis…)

Flash forward into the future where Tru and Jack (or an original male character that has the same abilities as Tru) have become reluctant friends (or more?) and Davis is simultaneously appalled by the idea and also like “I knew this was going to happen all along.” (REMEMBER: No pressure to include Jack - I think it’s hard to continue canon without him, but I know there were some that weren’t his fans)

The Defenders:

Characters: Jessica Jones and Luke Cage OR Matt Murdock

First and foremost, I want to put it out there that I was hardcore Luke/Jessica even before the tv show came out. I thought they were great in Jessica Jones, I was disappointed that there wasn’t really anything about them in Luke Cage, and the small moments between them in The Defenders were like little bursts of hope for me.

That said, I totally get the appeal of Jessica/Matt, so a fic with them as the pairing would be okay with me as well. Please don’t do OT3s with Jessica/Matt/Luke (or any other characters for that matter). I would prefer gen between all of the Defenders rather than putting more than two of them in a romantic relationship.

Story ideas:

Luke and Jessica learning to trust each other again amongst the events of The Defenders, and Jessica sharing a bit more of her past with Kilgrave to help Luke understand what exactly she went through.

Jessica Jones is a walking poster child for PTSD and I would really like to see this explored more. Recovery isn’t necessary, but having at least someone else realize her suffering (Luke, Matt, etc.) and talking it out a little would be great.

Out of all of the relationships in The Defenders, I think Matt and Jessica’s was the most interesting. They had a natural chemistry and seemed to form a bond rather quickly. An exploration of their burgeoning relationship through the eyes of others would be fascinating.

Chicago PD:

Characters: Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead

Sophia Bush leaving Chicago PD hurts my soul. Please give me some Linstead to fix this giant, gaping hole in my life.

Story ideas:

Write the car trip episode that was written and never made it to air. From the sound of it, the episode was going to be extremely shippy and tell us a lot about the characters’ pasts.

After a rough case, Jay is wondering why Erin is reacting so badly and she ends up revealing parts of her childhood/life before living with Voight.

Linstead through the eyes of their team.

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Chicago PD/Pitch into a supernatural werewolf story or The Darkest Minds/The Defenders take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding)

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within shipsto be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per relationship please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters if you hate my pairings, just write gen. 

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people coming closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset/situation and get better is so satisfying.

Thanks again and happy writing!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3 and FF.net)