#Something about these series are really easy to mesh

[ghost-on-mars1]

soc Gk au

Can't stop thinking about Ogata and Inkarmat with a Kaz an Nina dynamic. They hardly interacted in the original series but as designated fox and cat I kinda wish they had. Kaz and Nina have something akin to a sibling dynamic where they aggressively annoy each other. They could have been annoying let them be annoying.

And I haven't actually watched the SaB show but I have seen clips from season 2 where Nina gets a flash of Kaz'a past when she touches his hand. Now imagine that but Inkarmat and Ogata. Where Inkarmats probably trying to use her ability to heal him (because Ogata doesn't really have anything that makes him panic like that) or just mad at him which is also understandable, and catches a glimpse of a figure just barely in her vision. She flinches but nobody is there when she turns.

The crew doesn't have a member that gets called Wraith like the crows (sorry Koito no scary nickname for you), there is an honorary seventh that one believes might actually be a wraith.

[fleur-a-whump]

Overloaded (#1)

Preventative Measures

so like. this is a thing. been toying with this little guy in my head for a few weeks and like, almost nothing is concrete but I'm hoping I'll turn it into a series.

content: ex-villain whumpee, hero/leader whumper, manipulative whumper, just like a LOT of manipulation, collars/collaring, referenced electrocution, low self esteem, subtle threats, guilt trips

I've never done this before, let me know if I missed something!!

masterlist | next

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Villain has finally been given a chance. A chance to prove he's more than what the whole city has always thought of him, more than what his father raised him to be. He wanted to do good in the world. The heroes were finally giving him a chance to be more than they've always thought of him. 

...or so he thought.

He gulps as he stares at the shock collar in Team Leaders hands. It's a small thing, sleek and unassuming. But he knows exactly what it is because Team Leader had shown him how it worked.  The man is currently speaking to him nonchalantly. Villain should really be listening to the hero that holds the key to a better life. But that collar... shakes Villain's faith in Team Leader. Just a little.

"Villain," the man says shortly. Impatiently. Shit.

Villain jumped to attention, nerves only growing worse. 

"Sorry, sorry! I'm just-just a little confused. I thought... I was a part of the team..." He tries to keep the heartbreak out of his voice. He doesn't quite succeed. 

"If you'd listen..." the Team Leader sighed deeply. Villain was going to throw up. 

Team Leader began again, speaking slowly as if to a child. Or a stupid person. Villain thinks he fell into the latter column. "I was just saying this will help you better mesh with the team. I'm sure you've noticed people are a little nervous with you around."

Hostile. Villain would use the word hostile.

"Given your past, everything you've done," the man drawled. Villain can't hold back a wince. 

"So, to ease their worries, and allow them to see how great I know you can be, this is just a little precautionary measure. A bit of a show."

Ryan swallowed thickly.

"So... It wouldn't be used..."

He tries to keep himself from thinking about electricity burning the sensitive skin of his throat as it shoots down his spine and into his skull to paralyze him. He's familiar enough with the feeling; he doesn't need to imagine it.

Team Leader gives him an easy smile. "As long as there are no issues, of course not."

"...Issues?"

"Oh, stuff that'll never happen. Just breaking any of the rules."

Villain arched his brow, slightly dubious. "Rules.”

"Yeah, like, follow orders, don't fraternize with any of your old contacts, don't leave our level, don't work unsupervised, don't harm the team. Stuff you've been doing this whole time."

"Wait, don't leave the level?

"I mean, that's pretty obvious, bud. If we can't see you, we can't know that you're following the rest of the rules."

He nods mutely, gaze wandering. this whole thing just. He didn't know. It hurt.

Team Leader gently tilted his head up. "Villain, I'm only doing this because I trust you. I know you'd never do anything that could jeopardize your place here."

He doesn't trust that Villain is a hero though, obviously. That he's good. Because Villain could never be good. Not now. Not after all he's done. 

No, he can only hope to do good. And the only way he'll be able to do that is with the team. If this is what it takes to ease his team into working with him, if this is what it takes for him to stay, then he'll do it.

"O-okay."

"Atta boy, Villain! I knew you could do it, man."

Villain nods, trying to give him a smile.

Team Leader moves towards him all too quickly, and he can't help the flinch. The man doesn't seem to notice—or at least he doesn't acknowledge it—and is soon once again gently tilting Villain's chin up from where it had fallen. 

Villain fights the urge to lean into the touch.

While he's distracted, Team Leader swiftly brings the collar, already disengaged and bent open at the hinges, and presses it to Villain's skin. 

Villain jolts at the cold metal and fights to swallow as it's closed around his neck.

The locking mechanism clicks right up against his spine. He can't help the shudder that trickles down his back at the finality of the sound.

"I'm so proud of you, bud," Team Leader says with a big smile and a ruffle of Villain's shaggy curls.

The tightness in his chest eases, just a little. A little part of him flares in anger at how easily he's comforted. He doesn't deserve the comfort.

But he's trying. The collar now fit snuggly around his neck, like it was made for him, is proof of that.

--------------

ps ex-villain whumpee on the hero team but whumped by the hero team is my all-time favorite trope and it is so hard to find I have finally hit the point of needing to produce my own story to scratch the itch

[theresattrpgforthat]

Mint Plays Games: What Pre-Generated Characters Can Do For You.

From July to October of 2024, the Dice Exploder Discord Server ran the Pregens Game Jam, a game jam all about using characters that have been created for a specific table, or that have been created to streamline the process of learning a game.

Incidentally, at the same time, I was setting up the playtest server for Protect the Child, and, primarily inspired by Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, I decided to run my play-tests using a pre-gen format: I’d run a series of sessions using pre-generated characters, that could be picked up by various players depending on what games fit their schedules. I did this out of necessity - my hours are all over the place, and I can’t consistently run games at the same times on the same days.

As we started play testing, I noted some interesting things happening among my players. The first thing I noticed was that the players latched onto the pre-generated characters fairly easily - and their attachment caught them off guard. More than one person told me that they were surprised that they could care so much about a character they didn’t write themselves.

The second thing that I noticed is that players were really excited to take ownership over a character. Certain character story-lines or backgrounds resonated with them, and as a result some of my play-testers are making a real effort to come back so they can see the next chapter of their character’s story. It’s really gratifying, knowing that there’s something in these pre-gens that has them coming back for more - it feels kind of like having a favourite character in a tv show or book. Since I’m the one who wrote those pre-gens, I won’t deny it does a good thing for the ego!

For folks in the Dice Exploder server, this might not come as a surprise, as I’m sure experiences in games like Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine and Eat the Reich have both been hot topics in the ttrpg podcast sphere recently. These kinds of games are likely one of the reasons why the pre-gen game jam was such a hot event.

However, I think there’s some more potential that could be pulled out of this. I think embracing pre-gens can do a number of really interesting things for your ttrpg experience, both in one-shots, as well as in longer campaigns - and I’m going to digress about that, after I talk about four games that I used as experiments over the past month.

Lady Blackbird

I ran Lady Blackbird for the Open Hearth this past month. It’s a game that is exquisitely designed, because it makes the on-ramp for new players so easy. The characters written for the game are well-defined, with explicit personalities and goals that are designed to mesh well together and give the group reasons to both work together and engage in character friction. It’s also got some really stellar advice on improv, which was invaluable to me back when I was a first-time GM.

So much of the game asks you to turn to the players to build on the world around them. How does Captain Vance feel when Natasha talks about her pirate lover? Is Snargle intimidated or enthralled by Naomi? What kind of jail is the group stuck in, and why does Kale know a way out? From the get-go, the players are encouraged to throw in bits and pieces of the world, and the GM can then pick up on those bits and pieces and turn them back on the players, making the world relevant to the pieces that the players are interested in.

The group who ran it was great: everyone was willing to add to the world, and riff off of what had already been built. The characters sought out connections with each-other, and I found it rather easy to work in the elements that folks had indicated they were interested in - primarily butch lesbians, magical mishaps, and rebel activity.

The players also have a lot of creative control over their characters. You don’t have to stick with any of your characters’ pre-written goals: Natasha can give up on the search for her lover, Naomi can forego her quest for vengeance, and Snargle can choose to stop their witty banter whenever they like. As a reward for a big change in personality, the player immediately gains access to a new goal that tells us what they prioritize, and still rewards them for leaning into it. Every time I run Lady Blackbird, the players’ interpretations of their characters is different, and that’s what makes the game so re-playable for me.

Subway Runners

I also ran Subway Runners on the Open Hearth. Similar to Lady Blackbird, Subway Runners uses pre-generated characters, but these characters are randomly generated: their motivations, skills and equipment can be used to develop a personality, but those personalities aren’t customized with the narrative in mind. Of course, the narrative isn’t really planned ahead of time either - your characters will always go on missions in the subway tunnels and come across strange critters or magical problems, but the details of any given foray are also randomly generated.

This doesn’t really stop the players from making some really strong choices. One player noticed that both his character and another were looking to find the cure for immortality, so they turned it into a rivalry. Another player noticed that his character had been given a spider-silk suit, and made it a key part of their character’s presentation. The randomly generated mission told me that it would involve a bunch of raccoons in a Death cult, so I wove that together with the monster description to make the monster the raccoon’s interpretation of Death.

Overall, the pre-generated nature of Subway Runners is incredibly useful in making it a no-prep, easy-start game. I don’t think I’d recommend it as a first-time game in the same way I’d rec Lady Blackbird, primarily because I think the GM needs to have a strong understanding of Forged-in-the-Dark rules to keep the game running smoothly. However, I think Subway Runners definitely solves the time problem - you don’t spend precious game time creating a character, and a busy GM can still have an adventure put together in five minutes.

Blades in the Dark

I wrote up some pre-gen characters in Blades for my home group, pre-selecting the Smugglers crew, and taking a one-page mission out of Hour of Chains, a series of unofficial Scores written by A Couple of Drakes. The players showed up, chose a character from a pile, and wrote in their name, background, look, and a few pips. Their core stats, connections, and abilities were all chosen for them, and I told them that while they had to start at Brisco’s Noodle Palace, they could decide why.

The players had a lot of fun coming up with shenanigans, but at the end of the session, one player told me that they would have appreciated a fully-created character, complete with backstory. Another player told me that they weren't sure whether or not they were “allowed” to do something with the lore, as Blades has some lore built into the setting, and it’s hard to parse what is immutable and what is up to interpretation. I personally love coming up with the canon on the spot, but for folks who are new to this style of play, it seems that having some of that lore pre-defined might give them some confidence when it comes to determining what their character “would do”.

Compared to Lady Blackbird, I think this observation makes sense. Since Blades uses playbooks, I think the choices when it comes to motivations are made when the player choose a playbook. I had the ability to select the playbooks that I thought made the most sense for the Score I chose, but there were still enough playbooks available that all of the players had multiple options to choose from. Out of all of the sessions I ran with this experiment, I think that Blades was the weakest, and I think the reason for that is because I left so many pieces of the set-up undefined.

Apocalypse World

For Apocalypse World, I wrote up a very specific setting, and designed the characters using the Mad Max series and the Silo series as primary inspirations. The post-apocalyptic settlement was an underground bunker with levels sectioned off for various jobs. I chose a series of playbooks that resonated with the setting I had in mind, and pre-selected gear, followers, stats and abilities. I also wrote up three threats, with loose ties to at least two playbooks each, with the expectation that I could pick up whichever threat made sense for the playbooks my players decided to engage with.

In short, I did exactly the opposite of what the Bakers recommend in the game: I planned nearly the entire thing beforehand.

That being said, I think the session was a really strong one. The players were quite happy to pick up the characters and play into the conceits I’d designed into them, for the most part, although one person did a bit of toggling with their gear to more suit the character they wanted to play. It took a little bit for folks to warm up to the confrontation mechanics, but when they realized how much the game encouraged turning on each-other, we were off to the races.

We ended the game with scenes that pointed to a snapshot of a larger story, which felt fitting despite the fact that I typically see PbtA systems as games that really reward you if you stick with them for a multi-session campaign. However, I went into the session expecting to play a one-shot, and we got a really fruitful experience out of it.

The Takeaway.

While I can still see the merits of creating your own character, and I certainly won’t stop running games using that format, I think that I’ve developed a newfound appreciation for pre-generated characters, whether they are built into the game, or they’re made to make the game easier to learn.

Pre-gens also solve a lot of problems that can be common in new tables: your characters already have a reason for working together, you can learn how to play the game using a template that’s built to work well, you have more time actually spent playing together, and you can engage with a story that your character is designed to be relevant to.

Pre-gens also give the GM a chance to build their own desires and boundaries into the story from base one: in Lily’s Angels, a pre-gen setting for Protect the Child, I was able to bake in the themes about transphobia, religious violence and state violence into both the setting and the characters. The people who sat down at that table sat down because of those themes, not in spite of them. In all of my one-shot games, regardless of how much of the character was written beforehand, the nature of the game meant that the players still had agency over who their characters were and what they did. The background was a jumping off point - it gave everyone a base to work from, and as time went on, they found their own reasons for engaging with the story as it was presented.

Additionally, in all of the games where the characters had strong backstories and well-defined personalities written into them, the players found reasons to really care about what was put there on purpose. A player who picks up Cyrus Vance in Lady Blackbird might pick them up precisely because they’re in love with Natasha, and a player who picks up Sal in Yazeba’s B&B probably wants to engage with the artist’s struggle to find his signature style.

If you go the extra mile, I think you can use this set-up regardless of the game. In Apocalypse World, the work is a little more than normal, but I don’t think it’s terribly much. In Rotted Capes, World of Darkness, or Call of Cthulhu, I think that it’s a substantially bigger ask, but traditional games are also very likely to have pre-gens as part of the book, built for starting adventures - it’s just a question of whether that starting adventure is actually right for the kind of game you want out of that rule-set.

When it comes to my own game, Protect the Child - I made the pre-generated settings primarily to make play-testing easier, but I think I’ve stumbled on a little goldmine by accident. Using setting packs for a new table takes away a significant amount of set-up for the GM, and gives new players concrete characters that communicate the goals of the game without having to struggle through a series of character choices first.

Oh, and I also wrote a setting for the Pre-Gens game jam: Protect the Child: Digital Glitch. It’s a game designed to talk about disability, corporate subscription models, and questions of ownership, and I think it’s pretty rad.

[aquaholicsanonymousworld]

hii!! could you write more of the player!reader? I don't really care who you write it about, like triston casas or jarren duran or whoever you want, but i really liked the fics you wrote about it and I would love to se more of them!!!! thanks!!

Not not Dating | Pairing: Jarren Duran x MLBPlayer!Reader | Author's note: Is this too long??????????? You can tell me if its too long it ok.

It’s technically not a date.

It’s not even framed as one. Jarren texts you on your off-day like it’s nothing:

got a key to the BP cage. u wanna hit around a little? no coaches. no cameras.

You stare at the message longer than you should before replying.

only if i'm pitching.

His answer comes fast:

always

The lights hum overhead in the private indoor cage tucked under Fenway. The place smells like pine tar and leather and years of frustration burned off in a swing.

You’re in joggers and a hoodie, your hair tied back, chewing gum like you haven't got a care in the world. or thoughts about Jarren shirtless.

Jarren’s already there when you arrive. Black hoodie. Mesh shorts. His arms are bare and his tattoos flash as he tosses a ball into the air and catches it casually like it’s nothing.

“You gonna stand there like I’m a statue,” he says without looking at you, “or are you gonna grab your glove?”

You scoff. “A little cocky for someone with a career .256, huh?”

That gets a grin out of him. “Hey, I’m trending up.”

You slide your hand into your glove, tug it snug. “We’ll see.”

It starts casually. You throw. He hits. It’s warm, and familiar. Easy to fall into the rhythm of ball-meets-barrel. You both take turns — rotating between hits, sips of Gatorade, and half-hearted chirping.

“You got that little leg kick thing going again,” he teases.

You shoot him a look. “Shut up. Your stance looks like you’re afraid of commitment.”

“I am afraid of commitment,” he says, deadpan.

You snort. But then there’s a beat of silence where you both realize that was maybe a little real.

Jarren breaks it with a smirk. “Kidding.”

After an hour, the swings slow down. The air’s heavy with humidity and something else — something you can’t name. You’re sitting on a ball bucket now, peeling your gloves off, your palm raw from the repetition. Jarren crouches nearby, elbows on knees.

“Y’know,” he says, “this was fun.”

You arch a brow. “It’s batting practice.”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “but it’s different with you.”

That does something to your chest. You glance at him. “You’re not trying to be smooth, are you?”

His mouth twitches. “Would it work if I was?”

You look away, feeling heat crawl up your neck.

“Don’t answer that,” he adds quickly. “I don’t wanna know.”

You laugh — soft, surprised at yourself.

“Anyway,” he says, voice dropping, “I’m not trying to make this weird. I just… like hanging out.”

You nod, trying not to think about how close he’s sitting. How the air feels more still now. How your shoulder aches, and somehow, so does your chest.

You want to say something light. You want to change the subject. But instead—“Feels like this season’s the first time I can breathe,” you admit quietly. “Even if it’s hard, even if I miss… everything else.”

He watches you for a second.

“Yeah,” he says. “Same.”

You meet his eyes and something clicks. You both look away at the same time, like it burned.

Eventually, you stand. Grab your bag. Say something dumb like “thanks for the swings” even though you both know this was more than that.

“I can walk you out,” he offers.

You glance at him, heart doing too much. “I’m good.”

He nods — slow, unreadable. But then, just before you leave the cage, you hear him behind you. “You ever wanna hit again,” he says, “I’m always around.”

You turn back. “I know.”

And then — the smallest pause. He grins. “Didn’t say it for you. Said it for me.”

You roll your eyes. But your smile gives you away.

Team plane, post-win series on the road

You don’t plan on sitting next to Jarren. Instead, Triston Casas, your self-appointed platonic life partner and designated seatmate, grins at you from two rows ahead just as you’re boarding and shouts, “Yo, I’m sitting with Kutter! We’re gaming the whole flight, sorry!”

You glare, but he’s already plopping down next to Kutter Crawford with a pair of headphones and zero remorse.

You turn around, ready to find an empty spot near the back, and instead nearly bump into Jarren. He lifts a brow.

“Guess it’s fate,” he says smoothly, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

You make a face like you’re considering bolting out the emergency exit. “If you snore, I’m moving.”

He shrugs. “Just kick me.”

The lights are dimmed. Most of the team is half-asleep or hunched over iPads. You’re watching something you’re not really paying attention to. Jarren’s scrolling on his phone beside you, tapping his knee with a rhythm only he seems to know. Every now and then your elbow grazes his, and neither of you moves away.

Somewhere over Ohio, he asks quietly, “That pitcher from Seattle last month. The one who brushed you back—”

You glance over.

“You were pissed, but you didn’t say anything to the media,” he continues. “Why?”

You blink. “Because if I go off, I’m the angry woman. If I stay quiet, I’m a doormat. There’s no win.”

Jarren turns his head toward you. “You did win though. Crushed that fastball in the eighth.”

You shrug. “That’s how I talk.”

He chuckles under his breath. “Kinda hot.”

Your eyes snap to him. He doesn’t backpedal. Just smiles, slow and unapologetic.

You swallow. “You’re not helping your case.”

“Didn’t know I had one.”

You stare at each other for a second too long. You’re painfully aware of how quiet the cabin is. How close his arm is. How different this would be if one of you just said yes.

Then you lean back. “I’m going to sleep,” you mutter.

“Sure,” he says, but you hear the grin in his voice.

You don’t sleep. Not a damn wink.

Next day, pre-game in the clubhouse

You’re tying your cleats when you hear the chair scrape beside you. It’s Triston. He looks way too interested in nothing.

You narrow your eyes. “What.”

He doesn’t look at you. “Just thinking.”

“That’s never good.”

Triston finally turns. “So, what’s up with you and Jarren?”

You scoff. Loud. Dramatic. “Nothing.”

“Sure,” he says, totally unconvinced. “That’s why you guys keep looking at each other like you’re about to run a Hallmark movie set in Fenway.”

“I would never be caught dead dating a teammate,” you say automatically.

He stares. “Dude. You literally dated Harrison Bader.”

“That was different. He wasn’t on my team.”

“But he was on your body.”

You swat his shoulder.

Triston leans in, eyes gleaming. “So nothing’s happening?”

You hesitate for a beat too long.

“Nothing has happened.” you amend. “Not like that.”

Triston smirks like he’s cracked the case. “Yet.”

You point a cleat at him threateningly. “Shut up and go lift something.”

He shrugs and backs off, but not before singing, just under his breath: “She’s in denial but she’s into Du-ran—”

You throw a towel at him. He ducks, laughing all the way out of the locker room.

Boston rooftop bar, late summer night.

The Sox win. Fenway stays loud until the last out.

You go 3-for-4 with that double and a sac fly. You try not to think about how Jarren smirked when he passed you on the way to center, or how his glove tapped yours with a little too much purpose.

In the clubhouse, Triston eyes you over his locker like a man ready to narrate a rom-com. “You going out?” he asks.

You wipe eye black from your cheek and shrug. “Thinking about it.”

“Where?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Triston grins wide. “He’s already at the rooftop.”

You pause. “Who?”

“Jarren.”

You throw a towel at him. Miss. On purpose.

The rooftop bar’s tucked just off Commonwealth Ave, not far from Fenway, strung up with fairy lights and expensive cocktails. It’s the kind of place where players go when they want to feel normal. A little invisible.

But you're not invisible. Not here. Not ever. Not when the documentary crew’s been trailing your comeback season and the internet still hasn’t recovered from the sight of you and Jarren Duran sharing a dugout look with enough tension to power the Citgo sign.

You see him before he sees you. White tee, silver chain, sleeves rolled to the elbow. You catch the tattoos on his forearms as he nurses a drink, staring out at the skyline like he’s waiting.

You slide onto the stool beside him.

“Was told you might show up.”

He doesn’t startle. He just glances over, slow like molasses.

“Didn’t doubt you,” he says. “You always show up when it matters.”

Your heart skips. Damn him. “Careful,” you murmur. “Might think you like me.”

He tilts his head. “Maybe I do.”

You hold his gaze. It’s quiet for a second. Then: “I don’t date teammates,” you say, but it sounds weak now. Tired. Like a rule you made when you were someone else. Before Boston. Before this.

Jarren leans in just a little. “Then don’t date me yet.”

Your brows pull together. “What does that mean?”

He shrugs. “It means let me walk you home tonight. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Just... a walk. Talk. See where it goes.”

You stare at him. Jarren Duran, the teammate you kept catching glances with, the one who pulled over to fix your car without saying a word, who cheers for your hits like they’re his own.

It’s just a walk. But it’s not just a walk. You knock back the rest of your drink. Set the glass down with a quiet clink.

“Alright,” you say. “Let’s walk.”

He holds the door for you. Doesn’t touch your lower back like you half expect him to. Instead, you fall into step beside him on the brick sidewalk, the noise of the bar fading behind you. It’s cool now, the kind of night that smells like city and rain just before it comes.

Somewhere in the middle of a quiet block, Jarren says, “I saw that picture. From the World Series. With the Dodgers.”

You stop walking. Your chest tightens. “You didn’t have to bring that up.”

“I know,” he says softly. “But I saw your face in it. You looked like you were trying to be okay.”

You laugh, brittle. “I wasn’t. I felt like the whole league gave up on me.”

Jarren steps closer. “Boston didn’t.” You meet his eyes. “And neither did I.”

Your breath catches. There’s a beat of silence, and you can’t take it anymore. You grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him. Not delicate. Not polite. Grateful. Burning. Honest. He exhales like he’s been waiting for this since spring training.

[callixpene]

L&DS Future Lifetime Series - PART 2: FIRST CONVERGENCE

Note: Starting from Part 2, some or all of the Love Interest's perspectives will be meshed together.

MASTERLIST for Part 1 is here(In case you haven't read it): ALL LIs - PART 1: WE MEET AGAIN

Next part to this fic is here: RAFAYEL, ZAYNE & CALEB POV - PART 2: SECOND CONVERGENCE

XAVIER & SYLUS POV - PART 2 : FIRST CONVERGENCE

Xavier X OC. Sylus X OC.

Set in Future Timeline. All Love Interests have no memories of their past lives. All of the MCs(5 Sisters) all have memories of their past lives. Very persistent LIs. Avoidant MCs. Love at first sight. Soulmates.

Genre: Fluff, Some Angst

Xavier was getting very impatient, which was very out of character for him.

He'd been waiting outside Steven Kingsley's office for almost an hour.

He acknowledged the fact that as the President of Nexus Innovations, he would naturally be so terribly busy and Xavier should really just be grateful that his short-notice request for a meet-up with him had been accepted.

But he simply could not bear to wait any longer.

This matter was extremely important to him.

Celeste stood him up.

She was supposed to meet him at the balcony of The Lunar Hotel this morning, where she held her ball last night and where they met for the first time, so he could take her out to have breakfast together. Then, Xavier planned to give some lame excuse to get her to spend the rest of her day with him.

When she had not been at the balcony the exact time he told her, Xavier didn't think much of it. He just stood there with a foolish, lovesick grin on his face while carrying a large bouquet of red roses as he waited for her.

Several hours had passed and she did not show up.

After waiting for so long, Xavier anxiously made his way to the receptionist, who then informed him that Celeste Kingsley had already checked out of the hotel last night.

Xavier's heart dropped.

Why would she leave so suddenly?

Did he say something wrong last night? Was he too forward? Did he make her uncomfortable?

He sat at the hotel lounge, hands on his face contemplating what he had done wrong.

After a while, he decided that he was done sulking.

He quickly took out his phone and called his friend and most capable attendant.

"Yes, Prince Xavier?"

"Jeremiah." Xavier started. "I need you to do something for me. Urgently."

"No problem, Prince. What is it?" Jeremiah replied casually.

"I need you to set a meet-up for me, with Steven Kingsley. Today."

"From Nexus?!" Jeremiah groaned. "Wow. You never make it easy for me, huh?".

Xavier grinned. "I know you can do it. Use my title, they'll have no choice."

"Alright, then." Jeremiah sighed. "Anything else?"

"One more thing. I'll send you a message of the details. I'll need it for the meet up."

"Alright, Prince. I'll get to it then."

*****

Sylus barged his way into Nexus' main building as if he owned the place.

No one from security even attempted to stop him, they were well aware he was one of their company's most important clients.

He strode towards the reception.

"I'm here to see Mr. Kingsley?" He said to the lady stationed there.

"Ye-yes, Mr. Sylus. He's at his office at the top floor. My apologies, he's been in an online meeting with some board members for some time now, but it's likely about to end...." The poor lady was shivering slightly as she spoke." Sylus was used to it. He was aware that he always emmitted a dangerous and intimidating aura that made most people fearful. "I'll call the President's office to let them know you're here."

"Thanks. I'll wait outside his office then."

Wasting no time, he marched his way towards the elevator.

He was quite familiar with this place. He'd already spoken with Mr. Kingsley once at his office here when Nexus first started their partnership with Onychinus.

As Sylus neared the office, he caught sight of someone else waiting outside.

A blonde man with blue eyes, who looked slightly irritated. He was wearing a well-tailored, classic white suit with gold embroidery.

He was dressed like royalty.

Sylus sat on the chaise longue across the other that was being occupied by the fancy man.

He sort of looked familiar, Sylus thought. But just a bit.

Several minutes passed and nothing but an eerie silence enveloped the halls.

"So" Sylus started, and the blonde man looked at him. "What are you here for?"

The other man didn't reply immediately. He glanced at Sylus, nonchalantly.

He's sizing me up, Sylus smirked.

His smirk seemed to irritate the man even more.

"I'm here on royal business." The blonde man replied. "As crown prince of Philos, I have an offer that Nexus would not be able to refuse."

Sylus' eyes widened a bit.

Ah, that's why he looked familiar.

A couple of days ago, he recalled he did indeed see this man's face plastered at the front of the morning paper. The headline read 'Philos' crown prince in Linkon to strengthen diplomatic relations.'

"Well, well" Sylus said, amused. "I didn't realize I was in the presence of royalty. Forgive me, if I seemed rude earlier, Your Highness." He couldn't help but add a tinge of sarcasm when he said 'Your Highness'.

Now the man - the prince, was actively glaring at him. Sylus chuckled internally.

"What are you here for?" The prince said, in a rather sharp tone.

Sylus crossed his arms. "Coincidentally, I am also here with an offer Nexus would not be able to refuse."

He was leaving this facility today after he had made it crystal clear with Mr. Kingsley that his eldest daughter, Nyx, was his and his alone.

Before the prince could reply to him, the doors to the President's office suddenly burst open. Both Sylus and the prince stood up swiftly.

A man, who looked to be a secretary, walked towards the both of them.

"Your Highness, Prince Xavier. Mr. Kingsley will see you now. He apologizes for the long wait."

"It's no problem. Thank you." The prince replied.

"Wait." Sylus interjected. Both the prince and the secretary turned to face him.

"I have a very important matter to discuss with your President. If I don't get to talk to him right now, I'm ending our partnership."

The secretary looked panicked. "M-mr. Sylus, our apologies-"

"You really are a bastard, aren't you?"

Sylus rapidly turned his head to face Prince Xavier. "What...did you just say?"

"I said you're a bastard." The prince sneered at him. "Do you always act like an arrogant prick just to get what you want, when you want it?" Then, the prince smirked. "You act like a toddler."

"Oh, is that so?" Sylus strode towards the prince and grabbed him by the collar. "At least I'm not some self-important, useless royal that only gets things through nepotism."

Prince Xavier shook in pure fury. Sylus smirked.

He's about to throw a punch. Sylus could feel it.

Before the two could throw hands at one another, a calm voice called out from the office.

"Prince Xavier, Mr. Sylus, that's enough. Both of you can enter my office now."

It was Steven Kingsley.

Hope you guys enjoyed Part 2: First Convergence, featuring Xavier and Sylus meeting for the first time🫶

Part 2: Second Convergence featuring Zayne, Caleb and Rafayel's first meeting is out too! Please click it at the description at the top or check my pinned post for the Masterlist of this series.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you guys are enjoying this series!!!

Tell your thoughts in the comments what you think about this series so far. It will be highly appreciated 💜🩵🩷❤️🧡

[eachuisge-cc]

Hello! Big fan. I was curious if you have any advice for learning topology?

my biggest piece of advice is "learn how to do everything manually first and only automate once you know how it works so that you can tell when it's gone wrong." because some of the automatic tools like decimate will absolutely fuck you up and nobody talks about that. a lot of the time it's better to use things like dissolve edge so you have control over things. there are even parts of meshes I triangulate by hand because I want to make sure the crease isn't cutting into the silhouette weirdly.

my second biggest piece of advice, especially when working with video games/mods, is "always start with fewer polygons than you think you need." it's easy to get lost in the sauce on small details but a lot of the time, especially with older or more stylized games like TS4 and Skyrim, less is more and the textures/normals will do a surprising amount of heavy lifting in terms of conveying shape and detail. It's also a lot easier to add a few loop cuts or subdivide than it is to cleanly reduce your poly count if you've overdone it, so start with big shapes and only add detail/refinement where it's needed. which is why I pretty much always box model instead of sculpting when I'm making meshes for mods.

As for generally learning how to do it from the ground up, I'd highly recommend checking out some youtube tutorials on it, this one is great for learning the basic fundamentals/terminology you'll run into in most other videos and it's useful in general if you're new to 3D modelling:

and this is one I particularly like for applying those basic principles in an animated/character mesh; the video deals with topology for a humanoid face but the principles can be applied to animals or pretty much anything else that needs to move and bend (the rest of the series is good as well):

if these don't work for you there are a ton of other options out there, so if you just search youtube for topology tutorials you'll probably find something that suits your needs/learning style. topology is good to know no matter what kind of project you're working on but it's especially important if you're making stuff for video games/mods where you really want to optimize your mesh as much as you can.

[yuriskies]

Fishing Yuri vs Reproductive Fascism

Issui Ogawa's Twinstar Cyclone Runaway novel series caught my attention the moment I learned about it. A gay marriage allegory in a weird sci-fi setting? Sign me right the fuck up. I've always found explicitly political sci-fi interesting, and well, Ogawa is not exactly a small name in Japanese sci-fi. However, a Japanese hard sci-fi novel is not going to have an easy time finding a good translation to English, much less a fanbase. So I was really excited to see that it was getting a manga adaptation, and from what it has adapted so far (~half of the first of three novels in an ongoing series), it's really living up to my feeling of hype.

There is a general setting summary after the break, and then a section where I talk a bit about the most recent chapter (8), and how it really makes a cogent argument extractive economic systems are reinforced by patriarchal norms.

The plot centers around Terra Intercontinental Endeavor, a woman who has inherited her family's fishing boat. The fishing boat requires two people to operate, a job which is performed by straight couples as a form of marriage contract. The use of married couples is understandable, given that the fishing boat transformable rocket plane that descends from orbit to operate in the skies of a gas giant, an operating environment which requires almost preternatural communication skills between the pilot and the person transforming the ship. The fish that swim around in the gas giant's skies are special: they're made of a kind of clay that can be molded by thought. The catch forms the backbone of the planetary economy; otherwise, the planetary system is so resource-starved that humanity cannot sustain itself without something to offer through galactic trade networks. Terra is highly gifted at producing complex transformations of the ship, but cannot communicate well with the male pilots she is interviewing for marriage. Part of this is because her way of describing things is a little kooky, but the majority is because the patriarchal culture she lives in has produced a lot of condescending, sexist guys who Obviously Know Better.

Fresh off a round of failed marriage interviews, Terra is desperate to find anyone who can pilot the boat. In steps a mysterious girl named Diode, who proves herself to be an exceptionally talented pilot whose skills mesh well with Terra's. So far, the story has alternated between Terra's experiences within the stifling cultural life of her home, and the moments of dizzying freedom and connection that Terra and Diode find when they're out fishing.

(Spoilers from here on out, so stop here if you would prefer to read more on your own. )

As far as the broader world of Twinstar Cyclone Runaway is concerned, the first seven manga chapters have largely focused on how badly Terra fits in with the surrounding culture. She has a reputation around the port, mostly as a person who creates absurdly complicated fishing gear and makes up weird stories. Her aunt and uncle both want to see her happily married so she can fulfill her dream of fishing, but tend to push their preferences onto her. She works as a video distributor in the clan's dilapidated cultural archives, and appears to be one of the few people interested in the world of her clan's space station. In part, this is due to the conservatism of the culture - most people are strictly utilitarian and seem happy to accept the world as it is. There's also sexism. Woo boy is there sexism.

The first few chapters alternate between life on the station, where Terra is exposed to a constant stream of sexism. The chapters dealing with station culture are almost an exercise in masochism, but provided the set dressing for a chapter which does a really decent job at describing the organizing thought processes behind anti-LGBTQ lawmaking. In it, Terra and Diode's activities have drawn the attention of the authorities, who are none too happy that they're fishing together (and effectively presenting themselves as common law wives in the process).

They're both summoned to the clan council, where the clan chief immediately begins lecturing Terra (and belittling her with backhanded complements) before ordering her to surrender her family's fishing boat to someone else. During his lecture, he highlights the 'freedom' enjoyed by their clan compared to the even more stifling culture of the clan Diode hails from. He attributes that freedom to the strong sense of "culture and tradition" of the clan, and the work of those with "superior bloodlines" who support and perpetuate it by passing that sense of identity on to the next generation while countering the clan's slowly shrinking population. Under this logic, allowing Terra to participate in a same-sex marriage is considered tantamount to enabling a cultural collapse.

It is, from just about any perspective, a fascist perspective on gender roles. Women are valued not for their ability to contribute to the culture but for their service as reproductive cogs in the economic machine. Culture and tradition are interpreted as something transmitted through blood, not community. Terra's work in maintaining the cultural archives are viewed as useless make-work, as to the leadership, a woman who does not reproduce is preventing the transmission of culture. The stability and economic productivity of the clan is the organizing principle of society, highlighted by the fact that the roles of clan chief (political leader) and head fisherman (economic leader) are held by the same person. In this framework, the backbone of society is understood to be its captains of industry, those working in economically-prestigious jobs, and their social role is to maintain the economic prestige and exclusivity of the fishing class.

The chapter ends with Diode (having initially been begrudgingly convinced to allow Terra to do the talking) exploding at how the clan chief has been talking down to the both of them. She points out the hollowness of the underlying rhetoric - although it portrays culture as something shaped by struggle and ability to assert one's will, it systematically denies most people from the attempt. While pointing this out, she also mocks the clan chief's skills, clearly relying on the offense to his masculinity to provide the opening for herself and Terra to prove themselves. While the gambit works, the clan chief is clearly setting the terms of a challenge to make them prove themselves exceptional, a task which carries a high likelihood of death.

By the way, the art does a lot of the heavy lifting here. Despite Ahiru Tanaka's slightly cartoony style, he is incredibly skilled at getting the point across through composition. Terra's workplace in the cultural archives is dingy, cramped, and literally disintegrating, and Tanaka's line work reflects this - dense, imprecise, and messy. It really sells the apparent lack of maintenance since the archives were constructed. By contrast, the clan council's chambers is airy, bright, and characterized by cleaner, more precise line work. The difference is night and day, and I think it really helps sell the Endeavor Clan's underlying thinking of exactly where "culture and tradition" are transmitted.

Anyway, I just had to gush a little bit about this chapter, in what is quickly becoming one of the manga releases I most anticipate reading every month.

[witchofthesouls]

Ayoooooo, Primeval Anon here, to respond to your response (don't worry too much about how long you took to answer, it was worth the wait)!

Omfg, you had me hooked in when you mentioned Bloodborne-influenced lore. I love the hell out of Bloodborne, and just in general From Software's Dark Fantasy settings. And I love that premise. It definitely fits in with the Quintessons clearly aquatically-influenced nature.

I also enjoy the idea of the Primes balancing each other out with their different natures. As well as the idea that the Quintessons kinda... cannibalized him... fucking gnarly lol.

Just imagine, post-occupation, there's these series skirmishes, perhaps even smaller-scale wars, between the og Prime worshipping groups and the the emerging sects of Quintesson-influenced cultists. Something like

Priest from Kaon: For it is said that in his wisdom, Megatronus- Priest from [SETTLEMENT NAME REDACTED]: You mean Mortilus? Priest from Kaon: :| *The settlement of [NAME REDACTED] was procedurally, systematically decimated in their war with the Kaonites*

Now, I don't know about other continuities they've featured in, like Aligned, but in G1 they definitely had some sort of caste system. Only ranking I can immediately think of are the "Judges", which would be the ones people generally think of when it comes to the Quintessons, there were a few other variants if I'm remembering it right. There was a video that I saw that talked about this, I'll have to go and re-watch it.

Anyways yeah, maybe the castes are made up of different sub-species within the Quintessons genus? And then under them come the Sharkticons and Allicons (Those weird croc-like dudes who nab Kup and Hotrod after they end up on Quintessa). Maybe they were at one point Cybertronian Wilders who were abducted by the Quintessons during the occupation and, through a mix of selective breeding and genetic modification, were able to turn them in their own obedient, self-replenishing army, that whenever the Quintessons aren't enacting some campaign of destruction or conquest, just kinda vibe in the oceans of Quintessa alongside the local fauna of the planet.

Y'know... now that I think about it, since the Quintessons would clearly inherit Quintus' unhinged daydreamer work ethic, do you think they'd also fuck with the wildlife of their homeworld, perhaps even the planet itself??? Gods, I hate how the Quintessons are so underdeveloped because they exist in the same universe as the Transformers.

Yeah, I'm really disappointed how the Quintessons as a whole are really underutilized as characters and background lore.

I mean, the shit is right there!

Me, if given the chance to sit down with a new Transformers team to talk about leveraging the connection between Cybertron, Earth, and Quintessa with supernatural elements:

Personally, I'm more of the "Quintessons fucked with their own planet" camp. Don't get me wrong, the Quintessons had established a massive empire to command resources, including bodies, but the Allicons and Sharkticons seem to be directly from Quintessa. Both fit the aquatic theme going on. Plus, sharks are natural predators of cephalopods and attack injured or sick whales (another predator of squids). While alligators don't usually eat cephalopods, they are an apex predator that does go on land and will eat just about anything. Soooo, easy clean up as well as population control on campaign?

I totally believe it's within character for the highest castes of Quintessons to be cyborgs/techno-organic instead of full mechanoid because of certain kinds of resistances and the way they control their fully mechanical populations. And they would totally be in genetic modification, selective breeding, and terraforming as a whole because 1) absolute control, 2) meshes Quintus' own special interests with the Quintessons' military and economic might, and 3) sustainability, what's that!?

The last point is the kicker because it's what really cements their own origins via Quintus Prime. That particular Prime truly believed that life should flourish at all costs. The problem? Environments can only support so much before nature sets up its own checks and balances, or the entire thing ends up collapsing.

Well, Quintus bypassed nature's complex and fragile systems and would have shown his organic creations how to overcome their own limitations: biological, physical, and environmental. He's like the guy that would successfully crossbreed potato and kudzu because the resulting crop would feed millions upon millions... at the astronomical cost of arable land, soil health, decline of biodiversity, and property management due to accumulated damages.

Quintus doesn't worry about that because it's part of the process! He's collecting data for future reference and starts working on fertilizers to support the crossbreeds immense nutritional demands, animal husbandry so herbivores can chomp down on the remains, and construction materials/architectural designs resistant to plant growth damage.

Quintus, you crazy scientist of a dreamer, that's not the fucking point!

So yeah, because Quintus didn't have his siblings to kick his ass about sustainable measures (because everything from medicinal to food to construction had to come some somewhere), Quintessa got overharvested or destroyed. Because of the immense deprivation, Quintessons went colonial on their planetary neighbors. Because they succeeded with their neighbors and never thought to change their way of life because of yummy resources, they went on campaign into distant systems where they cut their teeth against mechanical species and subjugated them.

And because the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie pattern would take way too long to get to my point: the Quintessons literally built their way to conquered Cybertron, fuck that planet and its indigenous people and fauna over in the spectacular fashion they did to Quintessa, got kicked off as their empire almost collapsed, but literally had a direct hand to the civil war between Autobots and Decepticons that lead to the final stand off on Earth.

(Funny enough, the civil war was on a scale so massive that it encompassed galaxies and disrupted the current rendition of the Quintesson Pan Galactic Co-Prosperity Sphere. They literally built the greatest threats to their own empires. Who would have thought?!)

Religious tensions after the Quintessons been kicked off would have been an interesting direction to explore. Even life during the occupation as the Thirteen would have been symbols of rebellion versus the Quintessons' rabid methods to obfuscate their own origins as well as tactics to break the cultural roots and ties of new subjugated planets.

Because old names become illegal, new epitaphs or names are given to undermine the regime and eventually become the new cultural practice. Then, there's the cultural blend between the natives and the colonial powers as well as the generations purposely raised in a certain cultural mindset. Since the Quintessons took control of the Well, it's a safe bet that they also took control of the institutional pillars of the society: religion, science, and law.

Primes are still titanic figures on post-occupation Cybertron, so perhaps Quintessons had only limited success in destroying mythic tales and religious traditions. Because the newer generations took on the Quintessons' distaste towards beasts and untouched nature as well as kept Quintessons' way of social hierarchy that they knew.

Quintessons emphasized function as Cybertronians (and other mechanoids) are machines compared to them. All machines have certain functions, no? Some machines are meant for certain roles, no? Machines are only capable as much as programmed, but Quintessons are far more advanced because they overcame their limitations with their own creative endeavors!

Quintessons basically treated Cybertronians as living appliances, gadgets, and animals. To them, a Cybertronian was a more fun and dynamic Siri or Alexa than a real person. Sure, a Quint could bond and form an emotional attachment, but it's still not truly 'alive.' And they codified that into their own laws.

Basically, Quintessons would have been okay with Prima and his Guiding Hand. They would have propped up his specific actions on how civilization should be (cement more tensions between city-states and Wilder tribes and unregulated environmental policies), switch up or change key mythology (Prima and Megatronus being split-spark twins that rule together into Prima being the sole Sun and Megatronus becoming a late brother that became the Great Evil that became jealous of the Sun and destroyed Life.), and straight up destroyed or damaged historic and culturally significant items and practices that deem it otherwise (the Well of Allsparks; removing the golden horns of fully-trained doctors that pay tribute to Liege Maximo's ties to medicine; the removal of various sigils of specific Primes and associated groupings, Onyx's Mask removed from stages as it functioned as Comedy and Tragedy masks).

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.236 thoughts

[These Hearts of Ours Are Burning Red! Their Loud Cry Tells Us to Enjoy Life!]

(Topics: reaction - praise, character analysis - Soul/Sun/Luna/Andy, speculation - Luna/Ruin/epilogue)

Man, what a finale! I've read countless Jump manga over the past twenty years or so, most of which were cut down prematurely, but even among the small handful that successfully made it to their intended conclusions, this might just be the best climax I've seen from any of them

Of course it remains to be seen how well the epilogue really ties it all together, but as far as final battles go at least, this may well become, for me, the gold standard for capping off a series' themes and throughlines. Everything comes together here: the romance, the battles, the power system, the character arcs, the message...it all meshes so well that it's actually difficult for me to come up with anything to say!

Andy and Fuuko so blatantly call back to all of the story's ideas and themes that the chapter really does speak for itself, and my analyses all feel like a rote recitation of the events of the chapter. What can I possibly say that will add to this chapter or make it more impactful for folks?

Still, it'd be a shame to just be silent after such an excellent chapter, and I'd hate to break tradition right at the end! Though, I suppose in a way that's exactly what this chapter is about, huh?

We've Got New Rules

This week's chapter opens by reworking Soul's final line from last week, this time opting to translate it as unfamiliarity with Love being a Rule rather than being a meaningless concept to him. This changes the context of his objection from being that Soul himself is a loveless being to Soul (and by extension, Sun) rejecting the notion that humanity is capable of creating their own Rules

I said last week that it was the role of the Gods to create Rules and the role of humanity to interpret them, but the very existence of Love as a Rule challenges that idea. The Gods didn't create it, humanity did, and as it took out a fusion of every extant antagonistic UMA, it's proving superior to all of the Rules that came before

In other words, in no longer simply negating the Rules, but creating them, humanity has reached the Gods, the end goal of Sun and Luna's game. The Negators are about to beat the game not simply by brute-forcing the final boss, but by proving the boss is no longer needed and humanity can look after itself

The lingering question now that Sun is defeated, though, is what's going to happen to Luna?

Where Do We Go From Here?

Luna spent this chapter looking pretty nervous, and while it'll probably become clear in the epilogue exactly why, for now I think there's a lot of ways to read into that

Considering that she's about to watch Sun die, I think it's easy to look at it as the situation finally sinking in: that this eons-long game is finally about to end, and the status quo will be permanently changed. Whatever Luna's opinion on Sun is, whether she liked him or considered him a bitter rival, the two of them have been together for eternity, and that time is now definitely coming to an end. Even if it's what she wanted, Luna may have never thought it would actually get to this point, or at the very least she was never emotionally prepared for it. She may now, only now, finally be realizing that she does, in fact, understand love, she just didn't know she had it until the moment when she's about to lose it, just like Victor back in L100

Alternatively, it may be because of her attachment to her players. She's been the Game Master almost as long as she and Sun have been in this world, so if she's capable of loving Sun, it stands to reason that she feels something for the Union as well. Now that the end is here, she may not want to see them go - the sadistic choice she built into The Heart for her own entertainment backfiring and forcing her to watch the love she built up being lost while the Union throws their own around with a smile

Or, it could just be self-preservation. As she says, all of the UMA, Artifacts and Negator abilities are going to disappear, but if that's true, then what purpose does she even have? Can she even exist in a world without Sun? If Andy is going to "die" without Fuuko, and Luna may love Sun, then doesn't that mean without Sun, Luna is going to die as well?

If she does, what happens to her? The Rules won't exist anymore, so it stands to reason that Subspace, where souls go after death, won't exist anymore either, right? Unless that wasn't an aspect of the Rule of Souls and was itself simply a characteristic of the greater universe, but in that case, does that mean that Sun, Luna and the UMA will actually keep existing?

And what about the UMA that are friendly? Are you telling me that Clothy betrayed and helped defeat God just to be erased? No happy ending for Clothy? And poor Ruin, he's going to lose the only family he has in Blood and Shadow?

No. No, I don't like that. Ruin hasn't even come back from space yet, and you're telling me he's supposed to reform after having everything taken from him? I don't buy it, and in fact, I think that's the very reason Ruin hasn't come back yet: Tozuka doesn't like that plan either

In a Perfect World

A few weeks ago, I mentioned I had an idea for how Ruin would play into the aftermath of defeating Sun, but I neglected to go into detail because I didn't want to divert too hard from what was happening in the moment. Now that we're seeing the possibility for an ending that explicitly leaves out one of our most beloved cast members, though, I think the time has come for me to share what I came up with

Ruin's belief is that the world that God created is inherently perfect, that the status quo is correct and deviation from it is wrong. This is why is birthmark in L100 and scar in L101 never faded after becoming Unruin, because he believed that his suffering was part of God's plan, and therefore was already perfect: unruined

However, because he believed that God's will was perfect, he also never made any attempt to reinterpret Unruin as an ability; why would he? It's perfect the way God made it. It doesn't need to change, and there's nothing anyone can meaningfully do to ruin God's world in the first place anyway, so why bother doing something so superfluous as externalizing Unruin?

With this chapter, we realize that the answer to that question is the same as the answer to every other question: for Love, of course

Ruin loves the world as it is. He loves God and the Rules, he wants a world of order, one that makes sense. In L100, Ruin believed that the Rules created by humans were arbitrary and imbalanced, and there may well be some truth to that: as I said, the Love that humanity has just used to slay God is condemning the UMAs that weren't fighting on God's behalf. Is humanity's Love reserved for humans?

If so, then no matter how limitless it is as a power source, Love is inherently flawed, imperfect...

Ruinous

Ruin cannot possibly abide by such an unfair world that would go out of its way to make everyone happy except for him and the one demographic that he actually cares about, so it would only make sense that his capstone would be to negate the ruin of the world as God made it

Originally, my thinking was that Ruin would externalize Unruin specifically to fix the physical damage that Sun is doing to the Earth, as the very continents are currently being shattered by his attacks, but with the revelation that the UMA are set to simply be deleted, I think it's also likely that, like him, they'll be given a second chance in the final, validated iteration of the world

I don't know how this will manifest in every case, but I imagine that the majority of UMA will actually reincarnate as humans. Monsterous UMA like Spring would still be large and imposing folks, but he'd be able to play games without scaring off everyone who sees his face. The more humanoid UMAs like the Superior Rules would retain the majority of their designs, and would likely end up in parts of society that allow them to continue to live as they please

It's funny to think about UMA getting jobs, but just imagine Change becoming an actress, being able to become a new person every day, never stagnating as any one thing. Maybe she'll even star opposite Sean, with expert makeup artist Gina perfectly transforming both of them as they're seen by all

There's a happy ending in there for everyone if you look hard enough, and I just don't see Tozuka leaving us with the bittersweet aftertaste that would come with sacrificing Clothy of all characters, so I have to assume that Ruin's notable absence is meant to facilitate a workaround to that oversight

If I'm wrong though and Tozuka just...didn't really consider how upsetting that would be, at the very least Tozuka has kept the focus on the most important thing: Andy and Fuuko's relationship

Together Forever

Before dealing the final blow, Andy thanks Fuuko for giving him a way to die: being forgotten by Fuuko. I suggested a few weeks ago that this logic was going to be how Andy saved her, externalizing Undead to protect Fuuko's memories, but instead Andy's accepting that he's going to die with Fuuko

I thought that was kind of an odd thing for him to say at first, since a) in a literal sense he'll still be alive, and b) it definitely doesn't fit the idea of the Greatest Death Ever, but then Andy kept going. He says that if/when he and Fuuko meet again, he'll revive

It may be obvious to say, but this isn't the death that Andy wants, and he has no intention of letting it be what takes him out. It's going to hurt, it's going to be hard, and it'll feel like dying, but after it's all over, their life together can truly begin

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[gottagetshiver]

Shiver's Fics of 2024

As inspired by Scoops, I'm rating all the fics I've written this year from least favourite to most favourite :) I'm not counting cowritten fics, so Sexmas isn't on the list.

A lot of this year was tied up in writing two novel length fics that have yet to be posted, so it's been predominantly short oneshots out of me but hopefully that's set to change in the next couple months!

In 9th place: A Phantom's Touch. I don't dislike it, not at all, but I was writing it alongside several other fics at the time and basically just got to a point where I was writing it just to finish it. I still like the basic concept and wish I'd have the foresight to give it the time it deserved because I think it could have been really, really fun.

8th place: Peace In My Ear. This was written based on an old prompt from my and Neuro's unholy doc of smutty ideas. Again a fun write, but because I was writing it with a deadline and I am so, so terrible with deadlines, it got rushed and looking back on it now, I would do parts of it differently.

7th place: Faulty Wires. This is the fic that reminded me why I don't like writing phone sex lmao. I went right from writing Peace In My Ear to this, which is just a heck of a lot of e-sex to write in the span of a few weeks. That said, I rated this one higher because I think the idea is both more fun, and my writing feels like it flows a bit better to me.

6th place: Levels Of Detail. I reread this fic as I'm making this list because honestly? I didn't remember it whatsoever. I think it's a fun idea and the first 3/4 are lovely, but I wish I'd developed the ending more. I think I fell into the classic "I just need to get this thing finished" trap I tend to with it and should've taken a break to recharge before writing the ending.

5th place: In Safety There Is Bravery. Now this is a fic I really look back on and enjoy. I had a blast exploring a version of Dream whose size kink leads him to want to be the smaller one between him and his partner. I've not written him that way before and it was fun. This was also a fic in which I explored some insecurity for the first time through writing, and it was an important stepping stone for me as a writer that I'm now using in other works that are yet to be posted.

4th place: Illuminated. Here it is, the sequel to the fic that nearly killed me dead. I never thought I'd touch the Golden Roots, Yellow Velvet universe again, but Sam fit so perfectly into it that I just had to let him have his moment in the cuck chair spotlight. It ended up being some of the most fun I've had writing this year, and I do have plans to continue the breeding bench series!

3rd place: The Games We Play. Something about this fic changed me on an atomic level to write I think. It was just one of those ones that sort of possessed me while I was writing it, you know? Everything about it felt like it fell together naturally in my mind and the words were easy to find. George's brattiness, Dream's desperation, all of it meshed together into something I'm really proud of and that's why it's earned the top spot of my shorter oneshots for the year.

2nd place: September Blossoms. I wrote this fic while I was going through a pretty hard time, and I credit it with helping me to keep looking forward at the time. Flexing my creative muscles to create my own little version of omegaverse courting rituals was a delight, and then putting them into practice was even more so. I don't know exactly what all clicked together for me on this one, but I feel like it's some of the best writing I've done to date.

Winner winner chicken dinner: Honeysuckle Jam. C'mon, how could 1st place go to anything other than HJ? It's a big, big turning point for me as a writer as the first novel length work I've written, and the first big project I've managed to complete. Writing a novel has been my dream since I was a little kid, and for those who don't know, I had given up on it a decade ago when I lost all my functional reading and writing skills due to a health problem. Back then, I would have been fucking thrilled to write something that was 1k and mostly coherent, and now here I am, having completed and posted a 70k fic and with two more on the go that'll be even longer and more complex. HJ healed something within me very dear to my heart and for that, I think it may always hold the number one spot for me.

[lewdcookies]

After reading the Cities of Sigmar 2e battletome I feel that the faction lost something in the switch over to 3rd edition.

The 2e execution stumbles. A lot. There's so much stuff that could've been written less jankily. Or less "We have this model, and by Sigmar are we going to squeeze out every drop of it in the lore".

But, at the same time there's a nice sense of unity present in the book that got lost the moment it turned human centric in their revamp.

The short stories in the book for each city goes to great length to show just how many different people are working together to stave off the darkness together..

I get why it happened, since the entire faction was just a mishmash of old Warhammer Fantasy units in plastic. But at the same time it was also a great way of showing just how many people worked together under Sigmar's banner for a better future.

And then all that got thrown away and it's all about humans fighting, and the elves and dwarves just got relegated to being a sideshow pretty much.

Which is kind of sad in a way.

Like the faction needed a revamp, no doubt about that. The WHFB design's doesn't fully mesh with the Mortal Realms design language. But undercutting the supposed unity between multiple groups fighting for a similar cause is disappointing.

Like I know there's rumors about dwarves finally getting back into the faction, but I never really take much stock in warhammer rumors. Far too easy to just spout off random stuff and go "Just trust me bro". Seen that happen plenty of time already.

Also, it's kind of weird to realize that GW dunked hard on Josh Reynolds. Like he wrote all of the short stories in the book, not to mention the Eight Lamentations series. Then all that got kind of swept under the rug in a sense when CoS got redone for 3rd edition.

[spinningbuster98]

Metroid Zero Mission Part 1: Deja vu

Zero Mission is quite the special little game isn’t it?

It was the last Metroid game made by Nintendo R&D1, who had previously made every 2D Metroid game, and it was the last 2D game period until 2017, yikes!

I have quite a long history with this game, as it might just be my second most replayed game in the series after Super (though Dread is steadily catching up)

There’s a LOT to talk about with this game, but I wanted ti start with something simple: the controls!

With Fusion the series did away with Super’s run button, item select, wall jump and made the jump slightly less floaty, all in a way to make Samus feel more responsive and less loose, even if at the cost of all the cool stuff you could pull off in Super

Zero Mission both takes a step further with this approach while also trying to recapture Super’s moveset

Jumping is anything but floaty here: Samus is very heavy now and drops to the ground very quickly. I have mixed feelings on this: on the one hand it makes platforming much more precise than it was in Super, you should never have an awkward time jumping on small platforms like you would in old Tourian in that game. On the other hand however this also feels like an overcorrection to me, because a jump so short feels unsatisfying in some ways, while also being awkward in its own way depending on the circumstance. For example when it comes to wall jumping: it’s great to see this technique back, and it’s certainly put to good use several times...but man does it feel like shit to use! I will never understand why so many people shit on Super’s wall jump while also giving ZM’s a free pass: Super’s has a visual indication to tell you when you should perform it in the form of Samus preparing to kick the wall. The timing of the jump itself, while precise, isn’t really pixel perfect and, due to the floaty physics, you could reach some crazy heights with it. Here, with Samus feeling so heavy, you gain very little height with each wall jump, forcing you to perform several of them in quick succession to get some real height. There’s no visual indication for when to perform the jump, and the timing is borderline pixel perfect due to how briefly Samus will actually keep contact with the wall before falling down, which means that you’ll have to draw your thumb from one end of the D pad to the other super quickly, with a high risk that you’ll accidentaly press either up or down, which will cause Samus to stop somersaulting thus failing the wall jump. It’s taken me 10+ years for me to master this thing and it STILL feels like a total nut cruncher whenever I input the controls!

On the flipside though Infinite Bomb jumping is awesome here! I’ve always hated it in Super due to how long it took for the bombs to blow up, but here they blow up quickly enough for the player to get a consistent and quick rythm, which also makes diagonal bomb jumping surprisingly easy!

One thing I will say is that, if nothing else, the heavier jump mostly gells well with the level design and with Samus’ overall ground speed: Zero Mission’s level design skeleton is still based on the original Metroid’s, meaning it’s 75% composed of mostly straight horizontal hallways that are rather narrow in height and are heavy on the platforming. Samus is the fastest she’s ever been when running, so having a jump that will quickly put you back on your feet to keep on running helps keep the fast pace going, which in turn meshes well with the more horizontal level design. Had this game used Super’s physics, or even Fusion’s, with their floatier jumps, the game would have felt weirdly slow and the act of traversing the world unnatural

[bluerosesburnblue]

@oveliagirlhaditright I'm putting my Missing Link thoughts in another post because it would be too long, and honestly I have SO MANY thoughts about why the basic premise of KHML was a bad idea (completely separate from my own distaste for the "Ephemer is Xehanort's ancestor" stuff that might be in it)

Because you're right to mention Pokemon Go and it really, REALLY feels to me like it's just trying to ride the hype from the mobile ARG boom that started with Pokemon Go a whole eight years ago. Because KHML as a concept doesn't even seem to be utilizing any of the unique features of an ARG that make them appealing

There's two real franchise-based mobile ARGs that I ever remember hearing about: Pokemon Go and Harry Potter: Wizards Unite*. These two projects do make sense to me, as opposed to KHML because of the way that both franchises make use of the central concept of the augmented reality feature. They're additions to reality, which both series already played around with. HP takes place in our reality, but with a "what if magic was real and just hidden" premise, so it's insanely easy to make an ARG that's just "yeah, you're one of the people in on the secret magical society that always existed in the real world." Pokemon takes place in an alternate version of our world; every location in Pokemon is based on a real-world location. So that's also a natural progression for it, and it's easy to pretend that the "reality" you see in the ARG is just the Pokemon world. Other than location names and the presence of Pokemon, the Pokemon world is practically identical to reality

That is literally the central concept of an ARG. To make the game part of reality. And that just doesn't work with KH, a game about flying through space to reach Disney worlds. Sure, some of us might have wanted to pretend to be Keyblade wielders as kids, but did we want to be wielders in our small backyards? Not even imagining that they were another location, but the yards as they were? No! We wanted to be in the Disney worlds! Or Traverse Town! The central facet of ARG gameplay doesn't mesh with the functionality of a story-based canonical title. And so what do they do to force it to work? Complicate the lore with the Astral Planes, which completely take the "reality" out of Augmented Reality aside from... a map? Like, it might have worked with Quadratum depending on how much of "our reality" that ends up being, but that's not at all what they're doing

Additionally, ARGs are not conducive to story-heavy games! You're supposed to play them while walking around town, maybe stopping for a few minutes to take a break. Or you play them on work/school breaks. You need to be able to pick them up, play a bit for 10 minutes, and put them down. The typical gameplay cycle for most ARG players does not include 20 minutes just to watch cutscenes to get the Exclusive Lore before being able to do anything, and the people who like KH for the story aren't going to want to wait all the time for their mobile game energy to recharge before they can get their cutscenes (a thing that even KHUx did away with for story chapters after some time!)

The entire decision to make KHML an ARG, to me, feels like corporate checking off a box of "style of game that got popular in recent memory" and trying to copy it rather than thinking of the gameplay as a medium in and of itself to tell a story. Nothing about the ARG concept works with what KH is at its core, and I honestly feel like they unintentionally admitted that when it was announced that you'd be able to play it without leaving home. What is the point of making it an ARG at all if you're going to remove literally the only benefit that it has as a medium, as opposed to something that could benefit the story you're trying to tell? We are a long way from the days of TWEWY making revolutionary use of the DS technology to have its gameplay tell a significant part of its story

In an ideal world, I think that KHML should have been an MMO like we thought KHx was going to be back when it was announced. They wouldn't have to mess with the lore to make it work, other players running around would help to "populate" Scala ad Caelum in a natural way, people could form "families" with their friends to further the bloodlines narrative, and MMOs can function on the drip-fed narrative style that they wanted. It doesn't even have to be a big-budget MMO like FF14, because I actually do like KH3's artstyle and KHML's simpler usage of it (it manages to be distinctive and colorful, working in hallmarks of Nomura's hand-drawn style while still being more detailed than the PS2-era). It could just be... basically what it is now, but they add in new Disney worlds every couple of months to keep the story going

And now here we are, with a game that was supposed to be out by the end of 2023 still missing (lol) and only having had two betas by the near-midpoint of 2024 because they're having developmental issues that I would personally guess have to do with the game's self-defeating nature. I find it very frustrating

*Adding in, Wizards Unite literally ran for less than three years (June 2019 - Jan 2022) before shutting down so even being tied to a big-name franchise couldn't save it. I have a strong hunch that the Covid-19 lockdowns played a huge part in killing the ARG boom so it's doubly insane to me why Square Enix thought trying to bring it back was a good idea

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

your tolkien edits are always so lovely, do you have graphics editors that inspire you?

hey anon.. would you perhaps want to join me in a small and tumbledown cliff-side castle by the shining sea within whose shelter we can spend the rest of our days. circle yes or no

anyways!! tumblr is the school of athens and i am but a humble student sitting at the feet of greater talents, so here are a few of my biggest editing inspirations for your happy perusal:

@himemiyaaah / @tarninausta - probably my original editing inspiration back when i took my first waddling steps into making graphics myself! rosie just has such an amazing command of color, style, balance, etc.. her edits are so beautiful and harmonious, and i love her expressive use of text.

@miriel-therindes - also someone i discovered early on! i swear there isn't a form lyndeth hasn't tried her hand at and succeeded with in high style. her incredible sense and editing of colors and creative typography are just !!!

@arwenindomiel /@edwinas - the enormously talented mastermind behind tolkien south asian week! her edits are striking and have a real cinematic feel with bold, gorgeously cohesive color palettes (her dramatic shadows are spectacular) as well as innovative use of text and other graphic elements that just tie it all together each time.

@emyn-arnens - save me atlas of arda series atlas of arda series save me !! whenever i need inspiration on how to make dynamic edits that don't include people, i go to this master of her craft. her colors mesh so well together, her formatting is creative and refreshing, and her photo choices are on point. whence does her power flow.

@aredhels - so elegant and sleek! sari is so good at using all the parts of her edits to evoke the desired mood--for lack of a better word, everything she makes is just so aesthetic. i love her understated, low-text style and how she can make incredibly compelling edits just with her impeccable image choices and color editing. and besides all that she singlehandedly gave me the confidence to experiment with the eight-image picspam format yayay

@tilions - legendary user of non-text elements! i honestly have no idea how emily comes out with some of the image layering that they do. her edits feel professional-grade (hoping tentatively that this is a comparison that makes sense but who knows). she makes such bold color choices! it's easy to be scared off by bright palettes but apparently emily is immune to aesthetic fear. she also concocts these amazing silhouette edits that are like those 70s nasa posters and it's. so cool.

@russingon - i want to imbibe mayim's delicious color palettes into myself for real. something about them is so distinctive and pleasing! how much punch he can pack into a two-image edit never ceases to astound. i'm especially fond of their family/house edits (i love seeing their great faceclaim choices all together)!

@brighter-arda - toi is so endlessly committed to making the tolkien fandom a more diverse, inclusive, and accepting space, and i really admire all the work she puts in to uplift other creators. her own edits have really interesting and creative themes and formatting, and it's wonderful how she always incorporates meaningful elements of the character's culture.

@someoneinthestars - their use of darker colors is so evocative, and i love their latine tolkien series! they often align text to elements within the image, which takes such precision (i've only done it once, i think!), but when they do it it always comes out gorgeously.. awuagh.

@outofangband - the attention and research nelyo puts into their environmental edits could power three mid-size cities and i have nothing but respect for them and their dedication. honestly i think they know more about the ecology of middle earth than tolkien himself did when he made it (and he also never made edits about it, so another point to nelyo)!

anyways, this is only a cross-section of the plethora of amazing and talented people i get to share this community with, but i hope it was what you were looking for anon! many many thanks for giving me the ever-welcomed opportunity to kvell a little over some of my favorite creators, and as always, many many thanks to those creators themselves for sharing their spectacular works ♡♡♡

[natlacentral]

Ian Ousley

Ian Ousley recalls sitting on his parents’ bed, switching on the television, and completely transporting to a different, magical land: the land of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Like many other early 20-something-year-olds, he grew up with the show. “Avatar was one of the things that pushed me into wanting to do martial arts,” he reflects, “My parents were so sick of me pretending that I could bend stuff [laughs].” 

Some years later, Ousley received the news that he would be a part of the live-action rendition of the now highly-rated Netflix series — a very full-circle moment for the young actor that he describes as emotional. But this time around, viewers are given a glimpse of the Avatar universe through a new light. Departing from the original animated form, the actors in this new iteration all faced the challenge of translating these quirky characters to real life.

“Luckily enough for me, I had tons to pull from based on the animated version. Asking and answering those questions for Sokka was really important to me. Like, what was my relationship with my dad before he left? What was my relationship with my mom like? I dove into some things that the animation doesn't explore all the way,” he expands, “Music and costumes were great access points for me as well. Putting on that costume while I'm listening to music was really helpful. I would journal a lot as Sokka every morning too.” 

As a kid, Ousley reflects that he would actually mimic the actions of Prince Zuko, the anti-hero of the fictional series. He laughs when thinking of the irony of pretending to be Zuko but ending up playing Sokka, one of the less intimidating and more misunderstood characters on the show. “He wants to be a warrior so bad. And he wants to be valued so badly. He wants to have something to offer, but sometimes he doesn't always feel like he has the physical capabilities for that,” he continues, “So there's a really beautiful story there, I think with him finding ways to be helpful to his friends and the mission of saving the world — without having to be the muscle, even though he so badly wants to be.” 

In many ways, Ousley found it easy to shapeshift into Sokka for this project. “His sarcasm really brings things together. He's so complex and so funny. I joke a lot too, especially to deflect things. So I feel very tied with Sokka in that way,” he shares. But there were surely some challenges to channeling this character, like maintaining his air of comedic relief, as the threshold for comedy in animated television is much higher. Characters can launch off of cliffs or battle with larger-than-life villainous creatures, with little to no consequences. “Everything's weightier in our show because it's real. You're looking at a real little 12-year-old dealing with saving the world. You're looking at a real Katara and a real Sokka. But I was very passionate about keeping the comedy on set.”

While on set, Ousley and his castmates fostered a family bond not unlike the bond of all of the young characters in the series. “We feel so lucky to mesh with each other as a family unit. I think it came really easy 'cause we spent so much time together, on set, but also off,” he expresses, “Gordon is just like Aang in real life. He's just an energy ball and you feel like he's gonna save the world in real life too. Kiawentiio is just such a force in her own way. And then you have all the guest stars too, which I could go on and on about, but I just feel really blessed. I also shadowed a lot of the directors while I was on set because that's something that I am passionate about wanting to get into.” Ousley even lived with his castmate, Dallas Liu, for the duration of filming, sharing that the two fostered a close-knit brotherly bond.

When Ousley isn’t on set, he taps into another form of self-expression through fashion and design. During the SAG-AFTRA strike this past year, he joined forces with two of his friends, Ryan Sullivan and Hunter Baker, to help with the design and creative direction strategy for their vintage-inspired brand Kalo Soil. But this medium of artistry isn’t a novel one for the young actor; he’s been into sketching and designing for years now. “I started a clothing brand when I was 15 and was just making hoodies and embroidering stuff in the fashion district of DTLA. I had fashion internships with a professor from FIDM, so it's been a passion of mine forever,” he reflects. When he isn’t filming or feeding his interests in the realm of fashion, he flexes other creative muscles, sharing that writing or journaling provide moments of decompression for the 21-year-old who has been moving in the fast lane since he moved to LA as a teenager.

Between his diverse roles, Taekwondo, and creative outlets, Ousley has a pretty full plate. But he carves out the necessary time to unwind and take it all in. “I've always needed a creative outlet, so I'm constantly sketching and designing stuff just for fun. I've been doing that since I was 15 and it feels effortless at this point. I can always channel whatever I'm feeling into those things. I also love writing, so I try to stay consistent with that — songwriting, poetry, and essays — all of it. I journal a lot too. I spend time with God. I just try to stay rooted in the things that I can control with so many different things going on.” 

Staying rooted in his life is important to the multi-talented actor, but he still looks ahead in the hopes that his career in Hollywood will continue to flourish. A smile flashed across his face when alluding to directing, a skill he’d like to hone in the coming years, but he maintains that his heart really does lie with the current project that he spent the last year dedicating himself to. “The thing that I'm looking most forward to is to continue the show. We all love the show so much, so season two and hopefully season three would be the goal. Sometimes in busy cities like New York or LA, people want to move on quickly. But I think that we all have found a really fun home here, so I would like to enjoy that for a little bit.”

Just before concluding our Zoom call, Ousley indulged us by answering the hard-hitting questions — I mean, it felt almost unnatural not to ask. “[Laughs] My favorite character from Avatar is Apa. There's no other answer that should be allowed.” And though he masters Sokka’s playful humor and personal intricacies, he shared that if given a chance to occupy the grand Avatar: The Last Airbender universe, he’d definitely be a part of the water tribe. “That’s a hard question,” he posited, “Gliding on the ice and playing around with water powers looked so fun in the animated show — so I’d go with that.” 

Netflix’s highly-anticipated series, Avatar: The Last Airbender is now streaming, and has been renewed for another two seasons.

[palant1r]

Why do you think Matsuda was grinning when he offered to make the eye deal in Death Note? For that matter, what do you think would have happened if he had? How could it happen? What would happen differently if Matsuda died and Soichiro lived? Honestly, I just really want to know about this AU, and you seem like the fandom Matsuda expert!

hehehe i LOVE this question!!!

matsuda is someone who desperately wants to be useful. far from this being something he learns to deal with through the series, it's a need that gets exacerbated as the story goes on. he has a deep-seated anxiety about being useless, and this fuels a lot of his actions. theres a reason his Yotsuba Shenanigans were prompted by him being brushed off repeatedly by L and told to just do menial tasks. he wants to be important to the investigation, and at first, he's just kinda stupid about it — willing to put himself in danger to be useful, but it seems more like just recklessness than deliberate self-sacrifice. like he doesn't really understand the stakes

this...changes, after the timeskip. matsuda still gladly puts himself in danger, but there's a tint of desperation to it. like he better understands the danger, but that doesn't change anything. one standout example is when matsuda tells soichiro to tell mello that matsuda is L — it's very clear that this puts matsuda in massive danger, but he does it anyway. and, crucially, soichiro goes along with it. there's a new degree of trust there — the task force knows now that matsuda is gonna pull this shit and there's nothing they can do to stop him. and of course light picks up on it.

like, the thing about matsuda volunteering to take the eyes is that it's not an out of nowhere thing like the Yotsuba Shenanigans were. light was surprised by that. but five years later, he knows matsuda a lot better — enough to know he'll volunteer to take the eyes.

venturing into the realm of conjecture and hc, i think there's a few things going on here. i think that matsuda is someone who really keenly feels the danger they're in, and is most afraid when he's helpless. to him, that fear goes away when he's Doing Something About It. and i think this meshes well with my h/c that matsuda was on a riot unit prior to the NPA. while everyone else is a thinker and investigator, matsuda is a doer. he feels a lot of anxiety when he's just sitting around, and feels useless because he's not much help in the more cerebral parts of the investigation. but then something Must Be Done and Action Must Be Taken, and matsuda is in his element — he doesn't hesitate to come forward, and feels a rush of relief as he finally has some degree of control over the situation. so i kinda read his happiness as him finally having a way he can be useful and something he can do to catch kira.

as for what would have happened if he did take the eyes...well, it's not a happy story, and there's a damn good reason that light planned for him to take them. matsuda absolutely would have killed mello. wouldn't have even let him open his mouth. he doesn't have the same hangups around the death note that soichiro does — hell, after the chief's death, he was willing to let near use the death note to kill mello, though it's hard to know just how much of that was motivated by mello basically killing soichiro. light would have then used matsuda to prove the 13-day rule by killing him after he didn't write any names for 13 days. it would have been SO easy to convince matsuda's self-sacrificing ass that it was better for him to die than to live by killing criminals with the death note or something.

....though, well, there is a chance that, riding the high of the raid, light would have taken a risk. after all, he already thought matsuda understood him, and matsuda killing mello would only prove that further. why not have matsuda kill a death row criminal every 13 days? why not eventually escalate it to matsuda killing an escaped death row criminal? you see where i'm going with this. it would be a crack to open up, to start to let kira's ideology infiltrate the task force.

that could potentially work if soichiro died — it's pretty heavily implied that he would have only lived a few days after the raid if he didn't take the eyes anyway. but if soichiro lived, i don't think matsuda could have been convinced to use the death note after the raid, even to save his own life. matsuda's moral compass for much of the series is the chief, after all