#Soap is team Harry just to be spiteful

[kkvqwrites]

Do we think the 141 boys are team Harry/Meghan or team royals 😭

[houseofbrat]

I don’t think Meghan will let Harry go. I used to think she would leave him for someone richer but I don’t think that’s gonna happen. She is too spiteful to let him go she knows his family loves him she won’t let him go back to them. Spare was a project for her, it was to make her look good and to more than make Will look bad it was to kill the relationship between the brothers all together. W’s fans have been saying he was done with Harry but I think he kept the door open much longer than they think. I think Spare made sure he closed it shut. I think Harry is lost forever and he ain’t coming back. I would love to be wrong not because I like Harry or want him back but because he will never stop he will Harass the family until his dying day all for Meg this circus will never end.

Rumors have been for months in Hollywood that Harry and his wife have been living apart. He's in San Francisco at a BetterUp suite; she's living in LA. Oh, and the kids are the only ones living at Montecito Manor with their nannies.

She has to announce before Harry gets his balls back and decides to announce. It's her only chance in attempting to survive the pr onslaught that will occur once the palace pr teams start running their hit pieces.

In order for her to attend the coronation, she has to bring both kids to the UK. An incredibly risky move for her should Harry decide that the kids aren't leaving UK soil once they get there. She can't risk her two meal tickets getting stuck on UK soil. It leaves her with no bargaining chips in a divorce.

She can't risk being super sidelined during the coronation, which is what will happen if she attends. She's already a laughing stock due to South Park. If she attends, she'll just be in the general audience. There will be no carriage ride and no balcony.

I don't think Harry is lost forever. He's not going to apply for US citizenship. It's unlikely he'll ever apply to be a legal US resident. Rumor is that his passport is still a diplo. I have yet to see comments as to otherwise. The dude is going to have to go back to the UK once the divorce announcement happens. He'll be making trips back and forth between California & the UK, but he won't become a permanent US resident.

I do agree with you that Will & Kate's fans (incorrectly) think Will is "done with Harry." I doubt that is the case. I have no doubt that their relationship will be difficult when Harry returns to the UK, but acting as if William will never have anything to do with Harry for the rest of their lives is completely unrealistic. It's pure soap-opera, tabloid fodder, which is written to appeal to a certain emotional angle. Which is also why it's also unlikely to be true. William knows about all of Harry's emotional, intellectual, and developmental problems. It's not as if Harry just suddenly developed these problems the day he said his wedding vows to his wife. But the good-dutiful-brother-against-the-dumb-&-evil-brother angle is too good for tabloid editors to pass up.

Also, Harry's wife isn't going to live forever, so this shit will stop in the tabloids at a certain point. Also, she won't have the money to pay for the deluge of articles she's done in the past.

Eventually, the UK tabs will re-focus back on Andrew. But that might not happen until either this fall or next year (2024).

[measuringbliss]

Spider-Man Read-Through 016: Let's finish 1972! (ASM 110-115)

MASTERPOST

Dear readers,

This is it! The Lee-Ditko team is about to break up! Conway is going to take over Lee's mantel, a 19 years old dude entrusted with what was already a renowned character.

The last batch was painful at times, captivating some other times. I especially enjoyed the fanservice.

Want some context? Keep reading!

So this set of issue, Lee's last ish, introduces... the Gibbon.

And to be fair, the Gibbon is a nice character. For his last (regular, at least) outing, Stan introduces a character with a lot of empathy. Ostracized for his face and abilities, Marty is a gentle figure and immediately nice to the hero, which you never get enough of in these comics.

Both artists also gift me with some supreme Parker whump that just keeps on going. So here's a few panels to celebrate that!

A look at everybody's outfit: I particularly enjoy Harry's! It feels modern, in his own way. Is it because he has a much better mental health since he left the hospital? Maybe. Gwen has bold red, it suits her well.

Pete's still afraid of Flash stealing his girl, but Flash actually just promised Gwen he'd try to be a friend to Peter, which is great development. They do become roommates later on... Or is Ned?

Anyway, we get to see Peter's O-Face once again.

This issue's giving me everything I ever wanted: angst, whump, Parksborn, it's great.

When Pete wakes up, the Gibbon tries to speedrun TASM2 and quickly feels betrayed when Spidey laughs at him for suggesting they'd partner up.

Not far from them, somebody seems to be satisfied with what his gaze has set on.

A requested villain? No way... Surely... It can't be... The Wall?

(It isn't.)

Lee's last regular issue is a surprising delight, in spite of the first look I had at it. The ridiculous costume is acknowledged, and there's plenty of soap. Luv it.

I wanted to check out the reader's letters, but my scans don't have them and the archive I used last time was deleted. In the space of two weeks!!!! This is absurd.

Anyway.

Let's make way for baby Conway! What's his first SM story gonna be like, under Lee's supervision?

Well Kraven's sure gonna show us with his fabulous dancer's soles and sexy pantyhose. Turns out he wants revenge for his dino pet (understandable). So Kraven's basically Newt Geizler, nice.

As implied in the previous issue, May is going away, letting the readers (and the writers, who don't know what to do with her) breathe a sigh of relief. Peter wonders with whom May could leave, completely forgetting that she has a girlfriend in the person of Anna.

Kraven drugs the Gibbon and subsequently takes over him. It's no time for nipple lasers!

This leads me to think the reason Gerry Conway started in the middle of a mini-arc was for Lee to show him the ropes. The style is pretty much identical to Stan's, maybe so as to not shock the readers (in the same way Romita tried to imitate Ditko's style in 39-40).

(Peter looking like a sad boi.)

The issue features nice word art for Kraven's commands to the Gibbon.

Issue #111 is a nice one, not that remarkable. The Gibbon gets out of Kraven's grip, but nothing's too conclusive...

I have the letters, though! James Brandwein hopes Stan "doesn't do something dumb, like kill [Gwen]". Hahaha. He also hopes that Peter doesn't get married. Did he plot Mephisto's inference with the plot? Hmm!

Mark Wilson asks for a mystery villain, whose identity shall be unknown for years! He should be satisfied with the upcoming Hobgoblin storyline. He argues that back in the day, the Green Goblin's identity was a source of discussions with fellow fans. (I guess this ask actually inspired the Jackal, but his identity would be revealed not too late.)

In issue #112, Peter gets a few new facial expressions. The mystery of May's disappearance (because it's a mystery now, apparently) paces the issue. Gwen gets some welcome characterization and also says Flash had promised he wouldn't ~ride~ Peter anymore. She's very disapproving of their bedroom activities, obviously.

Doc Ock announced his arrival through Romita having a lot of fun drawing great perspectives. And continuing in issue 113, the perspective shots are at least nice to look at. The issue also advertises Team Up because they need that sweet money, but I don't care about it.

I was just thinking I missed the side characters when Randy Robertson pops up, which makes me very happy. He's no Hobie Brown, but he's still Randy.

The Peter whump continues to my delight, and Doc Ock looks for a nightclub. He's always had that Elton John look, so I'm not surprised. Seems like the gangs are fighting ahead, and a "Mr. H" namedrop leads me to think Hammerhead's back... I'm already dealing with him in Insomniac's Spider-Man DLC (hey, remember when he died but was revived after his death being a life-changing event for a developing character? that sucked!) And his squared head appears a few panels later, so I was right. The two villains start fighting, but Peter gets whumped harder and offers me some nice shots...

... and the whump soon turns into shirtless visuals, as is bound to happen...

... and turns back into whump so whumpy I might have written it when I was a teenager. 19-year old Gerry Conway doesn't disappoint.

Romita completely succeeds at making Peter look frail in these issues (and particularly this one), so kudos to him. Please produce more of this, please.

In issue #114, Peter finds himself a passion for architecture.

More importantly, Professor Warren's back too. Gerry Conway, I see you... And Gwen once again gets angry at Flash for him making fun of Peter. Déjà vu... but it makes me think Flash and Gwen could be a compelling couple...

Turns out May was at Ock's, being a nice little houseworker, and she does not take Spidey intruding gladly.

In the letters, Jeff H. Berlin complains about Peter's distrust of Gwen, and I agree with him. He has no faith in her and immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion.

May got away, and this is just a nice set of panels.

All is well that ends well (Ock does have a word with May before leaving with the cops called by Robbie), but Peter truly looks like a puppy with his shojo eyes.

Yeah, because making an old lady work is very nice of Ock.

Like I said, very sad puppy indeed.

You know, I'm very glad to have read this arc, because it gives context to what happens later... Hammerhead's first appearance and rivalry with Doc Ock, May's behavior, the relationships between Gwen, Flash and Peter... and since we just finished up with the year 1972, next time, we'll enter year 1973. That's right, baby, two (arguably, three) years I've fully read before, and multiple times too!

The Green Goblin (finally) comes back, in multiple ways! The first Clone Saga is ashore! Are we ready?

I repeat:

ARE WE READY?!

[itwoodbeprefect]

*in Oliver Twist voice* Please, sir, may I have two more? (for the WIP meme)

17. I love you sounds different if you’re saying it to a guy you’re sleeping with

20. The soap opera fix

oh gosh. yes! and you can also have a cookie: 🍪

-

I love you sounds different if you’re saying it to a guy you’re sleeping with

this is technically part of a series i started once upon a time, but there are also four more parts between what’s already posted and this WIP, so that doesn’t bode incredibly well for this fic. i could decide to cut it loose, though - it could work outside of the context of that series just fine, potentially.

it’s pretty much what the title probably implies: they start sleeping together, things turn explicitly romantic between them, and one morning not long after they run into the fact that suddenly “i love you” is a very weighty combination of words. steve says it anyway, and takes great pains to tell danny that he doesn’t have to if he can’t, and danny has a ramble about how he couldn’t tell melissa he loved her, but the point isn’t (like steve briefly expects) “this is the past, so i hope you understand what you’ve gotten yourself into”, it’s “the i love you thing with melissa wasn’t really about saying i love you, it was about who and what is a priority in my life, and i’m buying a house with you, weirdo, of course i love you” (and also steve has always been a priority in danny’s life, and that doesn’t stop because they’re having sex now, so neither do the i love yous).

-

The soap opera fix

this one is part of the original run of roughly a dozen fix-it fics i started writing very soon after the finale aired, so there’s a certain degree of spite showing through here i think. it’s a finale... AU? tag scene? AU tag scene? in which after steve says goodbye, danny joins the team in the living room of the mcgarrett home and they all have a sad our-friend-left drink, and then the door flies open and steve falls inside with blood on his face:

Before Danny has another moment to take stock of the situation, he’s already up, forgetting about his cane or his own barely healed injuries in an attempt to help keep Steve upright. Steve barely seems to need it, but he’s harried-looking and disbelieving and a little furious when he squeezes Danny’s arm to the point of pain, looks around the room at all the wide-eyed faces, and spits, “Why the hell did none of you come to find me?”

which is when it turns out that steve has a doppelganger, oh noes! the real steve was kidnapped during his evening run, and the doppelganger was the one with them for the last day who said goodbye to all of them to go fly off with catherine, so pretty soon they’re all racing to the airport to keep cath from getting on a plane with a potentially dangerous definitely creepy guy, and this explains why steve heard danny say he’s depressed and told him he has a phone and then walked away (it’s because it wasn’t steve), and it has danny going “wow, i’ve never been more glad to be a coward” and steve’s like “you’re not a coward” and danny goes “well, i very nearly kissed you when you said bye, but it’s a good thing i didn’t, because it wasn’t you”.

in the end cath doesn’t get on the plane with the doppelganger, and it turns out he looks so much like steve because he’s steve’s twin brother that john never knew about because doris gave him up at birth, and he’s Evil because that’s what happens if you’re an orphaned twin on a soap opera (or, let’s face it, on h50), and he was trying to torture steve by stealing the One Thing steve truly cares about - [insert dramatic reveal music here] HIS GIRLFRIEND. (steve’s twin is not the best criminal mastermind.)

also. steve’s twin’s name is stan. because around these parts we like making danny suffer in irrelevant little ways.

also also. there’s some doris dragging involved:

“How is it possible that I never knew about you? Where were you all these years?”

“I was given up for adoption without our father’s knowledge. I spent the first thirty years of my life tracking down my birth parents, and when I finally found our mother, she told me never to contact you because you were her favorite and she was afraid it might be the thing that would finally make you realize she was not an entirely stable person.”

[artificialqueens]

Girls Interrupted, Chapter 2: She Wants To Dance Like Uma Thurman, But She Can’t (Vatya) 1/2 - Maeve

A/N: Hello! It’s me, Maeve, again. This is the first part of the second chapter of Girls Interrupted, and I can’t believe it. You won’t believe how much time I spent trying to learn cheerleading terms for this (it was a lot). It makes me so happy to see that we aren’t letting this drought get the best of us. So many prompts! The world could always use some more Vatya, and I’m more than happy to provide because their dynamic is so fun to write. Hope you enjoy it!

P.S. Part two is going to be wacky

Neil deGrasse Tyson would have good pickup lines—or at least Katya thought he would. Sharon was taking an exceptionally long time to change into her gym uniform, and not wanting to walk back to the gym alone, Katya was forced to wander the landfills of her mind.

“Boo,” Sharon smirked, emerging from around the corner.

Katya rolled her eyes. “Some of us have limited lifespans,” she tutted. “How long does it take to put on unisex activewear?”

“Fuck off,” Sharon laughed. “I had to take my face off. As much as I enjoy an irritated Phi Phi, I’m too hungover to hear about my ‘cakey Ben Nye’. Clown white, of course. It’s a real pain in the ass to find foundation, you know?” Katya’s head whipped back as she cackled, and Sharon was quick to clamp a hand over the blonde’s mouth. The abruptness of the action shocked Katya into silence. “What part of ‘hungover’ did you not understand, Zamo?” She snapped.

Katya’s sheepish smile was hidden underneath Sharon’s cold, clammy hand. In a moment of poor judgement, Katya licked the offending palm. “Tastes like soap,” she stuck out her tongue. The spooky teen pulled away in disgust. Sharon was about to retaliate when the blonde fell to her knees. “There is no need to spite me, Mistress of Darkness, for I am currently paying for my actions with the acrid taste of ‘Generic Brand’.”

Sharon wiped her palm on her shorts. “Get up, pussyfart,” she instructed. “It’s too early in the year—even for me—to become Coach Rice’s sacrificial lamb.” Katya did as she was told, and the two hastily descended the stairs that lead to the gym.

Utter chaos had taken over the gym. Coach Rice was nowhere to be found, so Katya and Sharon joined their classmates on the bleachers and watched the madness unfold. A group of cheerleaders in green and white skirts and halter tops practiced stunts across a series of large, green mats. The Back to School Pep Rally was due to begin in less than half an hour, and the throbbing vein on Coach Calhoun’s forehead told Katya everything she needed to know.

In the center of the floor stood a red-faced Violet Chachki. Even when raising the fires of Hell, she looked immaculate. Her uniform was pristine (likely freshly laundered), and not a hair in her high ponytail was out of place. The form-fitting material hugged her body in all the right places, and if Katya didn’t know whose head was attached to it, Katya’s mouth might’ve watered.

Violet towered over the frightened Junior Varsity girl, reducing her to a sniveling mess. Ouch.

Bianca, who was watching the drama unfold from the other side of the gym, finally spotted her friend through the forest of cheerleaders. She snuck her way over to Katya and plunked down next to her.

“She’s been like this all day,” Bianca informed them. She pursed her lips, “It’s nothing new, really. Chachki can’t get it through her thick skull that we can’t all be as perfect as her. Their routine is sloppy and the stunts aren’t clean.”

“Bummer,” Sharon quipped.

Katya frowned. “But that’s not her fault, right?” She turned to Bianca, “Couch Calhoun can’t really blame her.”

Her friend shot her a pitying look. “You’ve clearly never met Coach Calhoun,” Bianca said, standing up and excusing herself to go put the Spartacus the Spartan costume on.

Katya frowned, Can one girl really be expected to carry the weight of both squads? Violet Chachki was by no means her favorite person, but the blonde could still recognize an unfair situation. She returned her attention to the mats where Alyssa and Coco tried and failed to perform a routine lift.

“That was the most offensive thing I’ve seen in twenty years of coaching!” Coach Calhoun Bellowed. “You’re pathetic! All of you! You’ve made me want to stab myself, congratulations! Now get your sorry asses cleaned up because my girls are not ugly!”

Even Sharon flinched at the severity. The two shared a nervous glance. Pep Rallies were usually optional, but since their 7th period was in the place where the pep rally would be held, they didn’t have much of a choice. It was going to be painful to watch.

The cheerleaders weren’t the only issue with the pep rally, either. Coach Rice had been forced to send three members of the football team to Principal Charles’ office due to a locker room jockstrap incident. The man re-entered the gym just before the pep-rally looking rather disheveled. He stormed into the coaches office and slammed the door behind him. School spirit, am I right?

“You sticking around for this shitshow?” Sharon asked Katya. “I need a smoke.”

The blonde took a moment before shaking her head. “Why try new things when you can try nothing?” Sharon gave her an exasperated look. “Stay and watch the show with me?” She begged.

With a dramatic sigh, her friend caved. “Fine, but you owe me one, Zamo,” Sharon grumbled.

Despite all of her complaining, Katya knew that Sharon wasn’t upset about sticking around for the circus. She’d probably get a kick out of the mess to come. Katya, however, found herself compelled to remain on the bleachers by different forces. There was something about the gruesome and horrific that made you want to look when you knew you shouldn’t. Katya would certainly regret it later.

The pep rally commenced with a speech from Principal Charles: school spirit and all that crap. The football players paraded in after, pumped for their game that evening. Next, the Spartanaires performed a lackluster, borderline raunchy dance in their usual out-of-sync fashion. Finally, it was the cheerleaders’ turn.

Fallout Boy’s Uma Thurman was an appropriate cheer remix for the scene unfolding in front of them. She wants to dance like Uma Thurman, but she can’t. Katya grimaced as all of the girls jumped into a double hook at slightly different times than each other. She scanned the rows for familiar faces, finding Alaska first. Her smile looked more like a grimace as she jumped into a hurdler. The clump peeled off into two groups and proceded to butcher an axel turn canon into a drop. Alyssa and Coco were clearly competing for the best leg height in the toe touches that followed. A series of back handsprings, cartwheels, and walkovers later, Katya finally spotted Violet front and center. She was lifted into a scorpion hold cradle for the conclusion of the routine.

Is there anything she can’t do? Katya wondered.

The raven-haired cheerleader remained in the air for a glorious second before she began to wobble. Immediately, the blonde knew something was off: Courtney and Willam kept shifting their grip. Katya watched in horror as Violet plummeted towards the ground moments later. Roxy, who was supposed to be her back spot, stumbled backwards to avoid being crushed, and the cheerleader hit the mat with a loud thud.

Katya couldn’t breathe. It was impossible to tell if Violet landed on her back, her head, or her ass. Her fellow cheerleaders continued to hold their positions, knowing full well that they’d be flayed by Coach Calhoun for breaking formation. Suddenly, there was movement, and the cheer captain pushed her way through Willam, Courtney, and Roxy. Her face was flushed and her high ponytail had seen better days. Violet raised her arms in a V shape and gave her head a sharp nod, concluding the routine.

The other fliers dismounted and the relatively unphased squad began to roll up the mats. Violet slipped away in the crowd of exiting students.

Is no one going to make sure she’s okay? Katya wondered. She didn’t notice anyone chasing after Violet, but Katya had been wrong many times before. Katya poked Sharon. “Did anyone go after Violet?” She asked

“Don’t think so,” Sharon commented. “Betcha she went home like the rest of the bimbettes are going to Thanks for the good time, Kat. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Sharon hopped down from the bleachers and slunk off to the locker room, leaving Katya to find Bianca.

Bianca exited the mascot’s private dressing room just as Katya made to open the door.

“Just the assclown I was looking for!” Bianca exclaimed, “There’s a back to school party at Alaska’s tonight. She wanted me to invite you. Something about it coming from a non threatening face. Gotta run, bitch! I have dogs to put through college. Just remember that I refuse to associate with losers!” Bianca sprinted off in the direction of the junior lot.

Don’t be a loser. Got it. Katya made a mental note. She was both over the moon and wholly mortified that Alaska invited her—Katya, “Bozo the Cunt”, your average run-of-the-mill Russian bisexual transvestite hooker—to her party. Katya’s skin felt warm and tingly, and it was in a good way for once! Suck it, Susan, I am putting pants on tonight, she grinned.

The blonde practically skipped back to the locker room to collect her things. At the base of the stairs to the girls’ facilities, she stumbled into a cloud of cigarette smoke. “Sharon Needles, you are one rotten girl,” Katya tutted. Sharon was perched on the third step with a cigarette in hand.

“The most sickening ghoul you know,” she affirmed. “Cancer sticks wait for no woman, babe. Pop a squat?” Her friend offered her a toothy smile.

“I’m all for soaking up your secondhand smoke like a sponge, but I only have a few hours before the ball to turn myself into a biological woman,” Katya apologized with a pout.

Sharon nodded, “Suit yourself, Zamo. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“The Harris County Morgue!” Katya bounded up the stairs two at a time. High school was shit as a whole, but she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of making two new friends in one week.

In the locker room, Katya peeled off her gym clothes. She was slipping into her custard yellow mom jeans when she heard a yelp from the bathroom area. Because it was a day for stupid decisions, Katya zipped up her pants and set out to investigate. She padded across the cold concrete in her bright blue rubber duckie socks. The bathroom area was made separate by the abrupt switch to peppery tiled floor. There was a series of exposed sinks, and bathroom and shower stalls were on the left and right of the sinks, respectively, and separated from the rest of the locker room by brick walls.

When Katya turned the corner, she was brought face to face—well, face to back—with a half-naked Violet Chachki. The cheerleader was examining a scrape on her forearm.

Katya felt a lot like she’d pressed that ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ button on Google in that moment. She hadn’t known what she was going to find in the bathroom, nor had she developed any expectations for the result. She had said ‘sure, why not?’ and was presented with something (a surprising something) that she now had no idea what to do with.

Thanks, I guess? Fuck. Katya grimaced. 

Violet’s quick recovery on the floor had masked the true damage done by the fall. There were claw marks on her sides and down her back. Either she fell on someone or her bases tried to catch her, Katya deduced. A small first aid kit was perched on the side of the sink. The blonde decided to dig her hole even deeper.

“Violet?” She called softly. The last thing she wanted to do was startle a wild animal. Violet’s head whipped around, and Katya found her ocean blue eyes connecting with piercing brown ones yet again.

“What?” Violet snapped. Her words were merely a gut reaction to being disturbed; it took her a moment to process that it was her cretinous lab partner doing said disturbing.

Katya froze. “I-um…are you…you know? Okay?” She stammered. “I saw the fall, a-and then you got up, so I thought maybe…but then you just now did the, and I heard you. Now, here we are, and your back lo—”

“It’s none of your fucking business!” Violet interrupted. The cheerleader crossed her arms over her sports-bra-clad chest. This was not good.

She tried again, “Are you sure you don’t want help?” Katya was no Dr. Ken Jeong, but she could still tell that it was going to be a real pain in the ass for Violet to dress the scratches on her back by herself. The raven-haired girl hissed. Literally.

“I get it. I’m a bitch. But in no way should that discourage you from believing the goddamn words that come out of my mouth. I don’t need your help. I don’t want your help,” Violet’s voice was cold and laced with venom. Katya turned tail and ran back to her locker. She didn’t dare look back.

Katya leaned back against the cool, green metal of her locker and sank down to the floor. Fuck. Just, fuck. That’s what you do, Katya you fuck everything up. She dug her face into her knees. You can’t show your face in biology now. She’ll make your life a living hell. Is that what you want, Katya? Do you want to run away? Do you want to be pathetic? The blonde’s breaths were labored and heavy. Her wet palms grasped for purchase on the fabric of her jeans. Katya needed to calm down. This couldn’t happen here. She frantically grabbed for her ‘birds aren’t real’ shirt and pulled it over her head. Next, shoes. It was difficult with her shaking hands, but she managed to lace up her high tops. Katya was almost out the door when one of her worst nightmares came true.

“Shit!” Violet’s voice echoed through the room. Katya pinched the bridge of her nose. Why did it always have to be her? She couldn’t just leave Violet—even if she was a raging cunt.

I’m not gonna panic, because I don’t do that anymore, the blonde steeled herself. She marched with purpose back to the sinks and put on her sternest face.

“Look, Chachki, I’m going to need you to put your feelings towards me aside for right now,” Katya began. Violet once again whipped around, still unamused. “I’m going to help you whether you like it or not. This might come as a bit of a shocker, but I don’t get off on watching you struggle. I don’t want a leg up. I don’t want to be friends. But if you don’t cover some of those nastier ones up and irritate the hell out of your skin, it’s sure as hell going to be my problem when you’re extra rotten in class.” Neither of the two girls were expecting that to come out of Katya’s mouth. There was no turning back now.

The blonde approached the sink, and with all the courage she could muster, placed her hands on Violet’s shoulders and gently turned her around. Her patient tensed under her touch. “Sorry,” Katya apologized, “I tend to forget they’re usually cold.” The first aid kit on the sink contained a small tube of neosporin and some gauze. She quickly washed her hands before picking up the tube from where Violet had abandoned it. It looked like the girl’s sides were taken care of, so she moved on to her back.

Violet’s skin was smooth but firm under her fingertips. Katya gently traced the red marks until each one was taken care of. She then began to unroll the long spool of gauze just enough to give Violet one of the loose ends to hold at her hip bone. Katya skillfully guided the roll around the girl’s body until there was only a bit left to tuck into a fold. Without making eye contact with the cheerleader, she washed her hands once more and returned to her bag. If anyone saw Katya sprint to her car that afternoon, they never said a word.

Ironically, Katya felt like she could finally breathe in her stuffy car. She was too scatterbrained to remember to put up her sun visor in the mornings and was doomed to regret it later. But the heat didn’t matter now. Katya had given orders to Violet Chachki—orders the cheerleader had obeyed. Violet Chachki. Violet fucking Chachki.

Oh shit! You manhandled God’s gift to this world! What were you thinking? Katya plugged her phone in and put on some tunes to drown out the potential consequences. Elton John couldn’t solve her problems, but he could make the drive home a little less shitty.

[thethistlegirl]

Character Analysis: Angus MacGyver (Wunderkind AU Version)

@tomminowrites asked some of us writers if we’d be willing to use a character analysis sheet (Original by @the-right-writing) to analyze Mac as a character. I did two of these, the first one is for Mac as he is in canon, and this one will be for him in my AU Wunderkind) 

Some of these will probably be similar or identical to the last ones, but there’s still enough difference to warrant a whole new post. Prepare for the angst...and darkness... 

Tagging my Wunderkind folks because I can... @bands-space-and-monsters-oh-my @boozy-the-ghost @dickgrysvnwrites (don’t know if you read the fic or not but I know you read the last post like this) @impossiblepluto @telltaleclerk @sassysarcasticlove @silentheartedone @patriotproblems

What would completely break your character?

At this point it’s more a question of what would re-break Mac, because he’s already been broken by everything life’s thrown at him. Any number of things would be able to tip him over the breaking point. Losing another person he’s close to, being sent back to prison, losing the trust of the few people who actually seem to treat him like he’s worth more than just being seen as an ex-con; any of that would send him into a spiral. 

What was the best thing in your character’s life?

Bozer’s friendship, Pena’s mentoring (while it lasted) and his new team have been the few bright spots in Mac’s life. Jack is slowly becoming the most important part of Mac’s new world, but he’s hesitant to let another father figure in, because one abandoned him and one was killed, and he’s not sure which of those options is more horrible to think about happening to Jack. 

What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

Mac’s not sure if James leaving, Jerry Bozer’s death, Pena’s death, or his entire two years in prison are the worst part of his life. He kind of sees it as a cascade effect, where James leaving set everything else in motion, so if pushed he’d probably say that was the worst thing. But prison gave him the most lasting nightmares and trauma. 

What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

Mac remembers what he was wearing the day James left. He thought turning ten was the coolest thing that could happen to a person so he actually wore a nice little button down shirt and failed miserably to try and tie one of James’s much too big ties on. He waited all day to ask James to help him fix it, refusing to let Harry retie it. A few years later, when no one knew, he burned the tie on the Bozers’ grill. 

Mac remembers the last song he heard Jerry Bozer play. Jerry was practicing his guitar set for his friend’s band one night when they were at the house, and Bozer complained he couldn’t study with the music going and made Jerry go upstairs to his room instead of playing in the living room. The last song Mac heard drifting down from the stairs was “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears. 

Mac remembers what the prison showers smell like. Just the smell of mold or cheap soap (he’s run into something similar in some hotels on missions, and nearly had a panic attack right there) is enough to take him right back to some of the worst moments of his life. 

Does your character work so that they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?

Mac is lucky enough now to have a job that lets him do what he loves. When he worked as a mechanic after high school, though, he had the day job to support both the Bozer family and his nighttime vigilante work. Mac’s never been great at functioning in a nine-to-five style world, and he would have suffocated in an office job. He needs to be working with his hands. 

What is your character reluctant to tell people?

Mac is afraid to let anyone see how afraid and broken he is. He doesn’t want to admit that he has PTSD, partly because he’s ashamed of the reasons why and partly because he doesn’t want to risk being seen as a burden. He thinks that maybe, if he just pretends all the traumatic things never happened, they’ll just slowly fade away. 

How does your character feel about sex?

Mac has nothing but bad experiences with sex. He never had a girlfriend in school, and as soon as he started being a vigilante he didn't want to put anyone else at risk by being associated with him. He never wanted a casual relationship, because of his abandonment issues. Now, though, he’s not sure he could ever be intimate with anyone, because he associates sex with pain, shame, and fear, since his first experiences were in prison. Even someone casually flirting with him can make him nervous, if they seem too pushy, because other prisoners often said the same things, mockingly. 

How many friends does your character have?

Not many. Most of the people from his hometown saw him as a delinquent troublemaker and want nothing to do with him now that he’s got a record. He still talks to Mr. Ericson, but he didn’t initiate that. He’s got Bozer, who’s determined to stick up for him, but their relationship is strained by Bozer’s guilt and Mac’s unwillingness to open up. He considers Jack and Riley friends, he’s not sure what he thinks of Cage, because as nice as she is, he knows she’s potentially manipulative and that scares him. He would never call Thornton a “friend” but he appreciates that she treats him well. 

How many friends does your character want?

Not many. In Mac’s experience, the people he cares about leave or get hurt. He doesn't want to risk either of those happening, and it’s easier to feel safe in a small friend group. He’s not sure letting Jack and Riley into that was a safe decision; he’s afraid one or both of them might be hurt on a mission if he makes a mistake, or might decide to bail on him.

What would your character make a scene in public about?

Mac hates drawing attention to himself, and he’s terrified that if the police showed up they’d find something to accuse him of. He hates arguments and raised voices and will give in in almost any case rather than fight back. The exceptions would be seeing a crime happening, or if someone attempted to hurt one of his friends, or if he was about to be sexually assaulted or killed. Mac won’t risk drawing attention to himself unless it’s a seriously terrifying situation. 

What would your character give their life for?

Mac will do whatever it takes to protect innocent people. He wasn’t worried about what might happen to him as a vigilante, because he thought it was better for him to be hurt or killed, since he was willing to be, than for it to happen to someone else. 

What are your character’s major flaws?

Mac is afraid to let anyone care about him. After losing so many people, he wouldn’t exactly say it in as many words, but he feels cursed. He’s also a bit of a pessimist and tends to give up on his own situation fast. He can find a way to fix anything around him, but he doesn’t really see any way of his own life getting any better. He sees himself as beyond repair, and thinks that’s how everyone else sees him too. 

What does your character pretend or try to care about?

When people complain about the small things that go wrong in their days. Mac can’t help but feel a little spiteful when someone complains about traffic, or the weather, or some other minor inconvenience. He thinks that if he can manage to not complain about the absolute hell he’s been through, other people can manage not to moan about having to pick up the slack of someone else’s job or about who left the coffeemaker out of water. He tries to politely listen and nod but some people at the Phoenix get on his nerves in a big way.

How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

Mac’s tried to be a lot of things. He’s literally worn the mask of a tough, streetwise vigilante, he’s tried to pretend to be a model son so James might actually like him, and in prison he tried to be quiet and blend into the background so no one would single him out. Once he's out, with the team, he initially tries to pretend to be a bit hardened and callous, but that doesn’t last long, since nothing he does can hide the vulnerable boy who just wants to be loved and treated kindly. It’s rare that people are actually fooled by whatever Mac tries to pretend he is, because his true nature is such a big part of him that it naturally shines through. 

What is your character afraid of?

Mac is deathly afraid of heights; he fell out of his treehouse once and had to find a way to get home on a broken ankle because he knew James wasn’t going to come looking for him. Ever since then he’s had nightmares of falling with no one to catch him. He’s afraid of losing the people he loves, as well. 

A very tangible fear that affects his day to day life is a fear of people being physically too close to him. Anyone brushing up against him, especially his legs, is going to make him immediately anxious and defensive. 

What is something most people in your setting do that your character thinks is dumb?

Mac is absolutely terrified when he’s riding in the car with someone who doesn’t obey traffic laws. He doesn’t want to have them get pulled over and have to interact with a cop at all. He doesn’t understand why people think it’s a good idea to blatantly break the law, or why they seem to blow off getting a ticket or even worse, sometimes talk back to the officer. He understands why Jack breaks traffic laws when they’re in the middle of a mission, but other than that, it scares him. 

Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?

Mac has never been that great at controlling his smart mouth. It got him into trouble with his teachers, with James, and in prison. But he can’t seem to avoid making snarky remarks. He thought it was going to make Jack angry, but Jack actually seems to like the banter, and it’s becoming a routine where Mac doesn’t actually mean it and Jack finds it amusing and retaliates, also not meaning what he says. 

[aion-rsa]

The Timeless Yet Underappreciated Allure of Eva Green

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

It’s 2006. James Bond, as rendered in this particular iteration by franchise newcomer Daniel Craig, is on a train to Montenegro as he prepares for his upcoming mission: a poker tournament, where he will compete against the notorious private banker and criminal mastermind known as Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). However, there’s one factor Bond hasn’t taken into account, and it’s the well-dressed woman in a business suit who elegantly sits herself across from him in the train car. But Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) isn’t merely the agent to the British Treasury that she asserts herself to be — over the course of the story she’ll become the first woman that Bond truly, deeply gives his heart to, as well as the first one to subsequently break said heart. Hers is a role that demands assertiveness and vulnerability, a captivating beauty with a keen mind, and someone audiences would absolutely believe capable of being The One Who Got Away, the woman all of Bond’s future romantic entanglements or physical diversions can never quite measure up to. With all of that in mind, it’s no wonder that producing team Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli, as well as casting director Debbie McWilliams, were drawn to a French actress who had only starred in a handful of films before Casino Royale.

For Eva Green, Vesper Lynd was the part that would cement her status as a name on the rise, but her acting career had begun just three years prior. With The Dreamers, in 2003, Green starred opposite fellow French actor Louis Garrel as artistically inclined siblings who become entwined with an American exchange student, played by Michael Pitt. The film was helmed by controversial director Bernardo Bertolucci, and in an interview with The Guardian after the release of Casino Royale, Green spoke about how both her agent and her own parents attempted to discourage her from taking the part considering Bertolucci’s reputation for not allegedly securing his actors’ consent (most notoriously with Maria Schneider on the movie Last Tango in Paris). Ultimately, Green stated there were no issues between herself and Bertolucci during production, and the end result is a film that unflinchingly speaks to her talents as an actress. She gives the character of Isabelle depth that indicates a sort of ageless wisdom in certain scenes, but other moments have her displaying naivety that reveals just how young and inexperienced she truly is. It was this performance that soon led to director Ridley Scott casting Green as Sibylla in his 2005 movie Kingdom of Heaven, a role she accepted only a week before production.

When it came to potentially playing a Bond girl, however, Green had reservations; she turned down the role when it was first extended to her, but reportedly came around to the idea after she had an opportunity to read the script and saw that the character was being written with more complexity than a mere sexual object. Now, 15 years later, it’s almost impossible to envision anyone else bringing the alluring and guarded character from Ian Fleming’s original novels to life on-screen. Vesper is the first woman James Bond truly develops romantic feelings for, and, st simultaneously, she is the one most easily poised to completely destroy any chance he has at finding love again. This potential is realized after her cutting betrayal and subsequent death. Green won several awards for her portrayal, and it was arguably this role that catapulted her into recognition. It seemed that, in spite of Green’s initial fears that she would be typecast post-Bond, only the sky was the limit when it came to future projects.

However, Green’s career since has largely consisted of smaller, independent films interspersed with the occasional big-name property. She has led movies like the simmering psychological thriller Cracks (which was directed by Ridley Scott’s daughter Jordan) and sci-fi drama Womb, enjoyed a short-lived stint in the role of Morgan le Fay on Starz’s Arthurian-set series Camelot, and was the first actress to inhabit the role of the witch Serafina Pekkala in the film adaptation of Philip Pullman’s The Golden Compass. She has also starred in a total of three Tim Burton films to date, beginning with Dark Shadows in 2012 (based on the famous soap opera), Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children in 2016, and Disney’s Dumbo in 2019. All three premiered to mixed critical reviews. These days, most genre fans likely remember her best from her appearances in the sequels to two action-packed franchises which both released in 2014 — 300: Rise of an Empire and Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. Later that same year, the premiere of a show known as Penny Dreadful would allow Green the chance to demonstrate the full scope of her acting abilities, as she stepped into the Victorian-era show to inhabit the powerful medium and clairvoyant known as Vanessa Ives.

Penny Dreadful ran for a total of three seasons on Showtime, and Green was inarguably its lodestar, despite sharing the screen with other acting luminaries such as Timothy Dalton, Helen McCrory, Patti LuPone, Rory Kinnear and Harry Treadaway. Her breakout television role neatly intersected with the path of another actor’s return to the small screen, Josh Hartnett, and amidst such supernatural threats as witches, undead creations and ancient vampires, the chemistry between Hartnett’s Ethan Chandler, himself a secret werewolf, and Green’s Vanessa made up for a significant part of what kept audiences tuning back in every single week right up until the show was unexpectedly concluded on June 19, 2016. Vanessa Ives is a tragic figure from the start, a woman whose power has made her both desirable to evil forces and the product of scorn, not to mention a target for those who believe a woman should not be able to possess that much capability. Watching the series now, it’s difficult to fathom an end result in which there is any happiness for her, but that makes Green’s performance all the more captivating, as well as all the more heartbreaking.

As hypnotic as Green is on screen, and in spite of the seemingly effortless gravitas she brings to any fictional part she occupies, her biggest and most consistent struggle is finding the next project that is worthy of her talents. Understandably, she has made attempts to avoid being pigeonholed into any one type of character, but since the conclusion of Penny Dreadful, most of her filmography has not quite replicated the conditions that made her such a dynamic presence on that series. Recently, she was cast in another Starz TV show, a miniseries adaptation of Eleanor Catton’s novel The Luminaries, and while her depiction of Lydia Wells, another role steeped in mysticism, has garnered her positive reviews, the common critique appears to be that she simply does not appear enough — which, in fairness, could be said about most of her post-Penny Dreadful work. 

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Green is hands down one of the greatest screen presences of our time, and more people should be familiar with her filmography. Looking to the future, the hope is that she’ll be given a role that isn’t merely another quirky witch or femme fatale or supporting cast or in a project that is quietly released direct-to-video. Her wealth of talent means that she should have her pick of anything she wants. Perhaps with the announcement dropping earlier this month that she’s been cast as Milady in a big-budget movie adaptation of The Three Musketeers (reuniting her with her Dreamers co-star Garrel), she’s already taking the steps she needs to cement her growing legacy as an actress.

Do you have a favorite Eva Green role? What would you like to see the actress do next? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Timeless Yet Underappreciated Allure of Eva Green appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[wisemime-blog]

More Ways Donald Trump is Going to Distract Us

We’ve come to recognize the pattern. A scandal involving Donald Trump breaks and, almost as quickly, the President does something so wild that it’s all the media can focus on. 

Remember when Sean Spicer insisted Trump’s inauguration was so widely attended that it made Bonnaroo weep? Period! Once that was laughed to death, Trump shifted the conversation to the data-impared phenomena of voter fraud being the only reason the Trump Train never pulled into Popular Vote Terminal.

Remember when we learned of the glorious possibility that footage may exist of Trump soaking in the sight of Russian hookers soiling a bed the Obama’s slept in? Well that was preempted by our president’s wailing that CNN was, like, such a bitch to him all the time.

The rule of three’s insisting that I provide another example? How about Robert Muller agreeing to testify before Congress? Trump started jumping up and down and shouting that he was going to personally beat up and deport anyone who has even thought of trying salsa.

So how do we combat this strategy? Our hope is that we can neutralize Trump’s red herrings if we know about them ahead of time. So we reached out to our team of vampire squid and angler fish hackers in the deep sea web and gained access to Donald Trump’s personal libro di cattiva direzione, evidently titled, “Diversions and Crushes. Private: Keep Out.” Without further ado, please enjoy:

Removing the "1600" Numbers from the Outside of the White House

“If they can’t find the joint, they can’t ask any questions.”

Hiring a New Communications Director

Trump lays out a list of his top choices:

Riley Reid

“Someone who can do sword tricks”

“Whomever the Burger King’s guy is.”

Malala Yousafzai

“Kelso”

Bribing us with Sweets

Look, we can talk about these scandals, or we can eat these freshly baked cinnamon buns. We cannot do both.

Slowly Putting a Bug in His Mouth

If faced with a question he can’t pivot out, the President is planning to scan the floor for the nearest bug, slowly pick it up, put it in his mouth, “excitedly” chew, and swallow. He’s also written in uppercase “CRUNCHY. JUICY.”

“Maybe Let's Talk About All the Times You've Committed Scandals for Once”

What makes us so great that we feel we can point fingers? And honestly, wouldn’t it be nice if we just stopped fighting for a while and things went back to how they were when we first met? Come on, let’s go get some ice cream.

An Inverted Tan

Trump plans to reverse his tanning strategy and focus solely on the bags around his eyes. Perhaps this is why the president stared directly at the sun during that eclipse.

Hot Gossip About Shinzō Abe

Apparently Trump’s friendship with Japan’s Prime Minister isn’t entirely palsy-walsy. Trump has been collecting dirt on Abe since the two met in 2017. The notes are a bit underwhelming though. Things like “rinses dishes without using soap or sponge” to “thinks Paul Hollywood is the best part of The Great British Bake Off.”

Begin Wearing Carson Daly Fingernail Polish

Is there anything more distracting than a man who never explains why he’s sporting black fingernail polish on just two fingers? It’s literally the only thing I remember about TRL. But Trump doesn’t want to look too feminine, so instead of nail polish he’ll just crush up some of his afternoon Oreos.

Another Royal Baby!

Apparently this is an old trick Trump learned from the Queen of England herself. Every royal baby birthed over the last thirty years has come after the Queen did something scandalous. Do you recall the time Elizabeth II got so high that she licked Harry Styles? No? That’s how effective of a strategy this is.

A New Slicked Back Hairdo

Trump is prepared to abandon his infamous coif for a new “slicked back” look. We assume it’ll look similar to his well documented heroes: Hulk Hogan, and The Crypt Keeper.

Make America Great Again

In a truly maniacal ploy, Trump plans to promote the idea of returning the country to a conceptual past glory. Fear tactics, propaganda, and blatant racism will be used to stir up chaos among the American people. 

Those who disagree with him and think the glory days never really existed will be branded as out of touch, delicate, and/or unpatriotic by the other side. Vice versa, those who are receptive to Trump’s rhetoric will be seen as stupid, naive, or racist. 

Rifts will form passionate sects. Disagreements will appear hopeless and chasmlike. The country will fall into gridlock. The rest of the world will laugh at us while we spend significant amounts of time bickering with one another in spite of the fact that we are all human beings who just want what’s best for ourselves, our loved ones, and our country.

Embed the Truth About a Scandal into a Long Form Improv Show

Obviously we’re not fucking going to that.

[notmoreflippingelves]

2, 4, 19, 28, 23 please.

I already answered  #2,  but here are the rest.Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of.

There are sooo soo many. (I am fundementally incapable of  hard-core shipping the most popular ship in any given fandom, so I’m often out of luck.) So I’m going to make this the shipping trope that I don’t get the appeal of: Mentor/Protege Ships (examples: Lewis/Hathaway, Holmes/Watson, most Doctor/Companion ships, Daine/Numair, Victoria/Melbourne)

It always feels vaguely incestuous to me (either sibling, or parent/child dynamic depending on the size of the age difference) and just anything remotely resembling teacher/student (even if they are roughy the same age) just…grosses me out, regardless of the gender(s) of people involved. 

I don’t look down on people who ship these kind of relationships (different tropes for different folks and who am I to judge. I’m the one with a  slight foe yay  thing after all ). But for me it’s just a giant squirk.Is there a ship the fandom has ruined for you?

Fortunately, I entered OUAT late in the game and somehow avoided getting dragging onto   a ship war team. Both the SwanQueen and CaptainSwan fans are so incredibly toxic that I give them as wide a berth as possible and try to enjoy my fairy tale soap opera trash show on my own. (I secretly hope Emma ends up alone or with August or Elsa–just to spite both sides).

I am never ever ever entering the Supernatural hellhole, but I know for a fact that fandom osmosis had forever ruined both Wincest and Destiel for me. Ditto Klaine for Glee.

Have you ever started shipping a ship because of the fans?Sort of? I tend to make up my mind for myself when it comes to ships, and the fandom can easily ruin potential ships for me. 

That being said, I sort of “follow” both Agents of Shield and Gotham without ever seeing an episode of either. And because some of the nice people I follow are into Phil/Melinda and Oswald/Ed, I kind of low-key ship both pairings, because I want nice things for those people. :)

Is there a character you have several ships for?

The female half of most of my het OTPs invariably fall into this (whereas the male half is only shippable in the one pairing)

Some examples are: Luna Lovegood (who I ship with Neville, Draco, Rolf, Dean, sort of Harry,  and Ginny); 

Jean Innocent (with Hathaway,  Mr. Innocent, Hobson, sort of Lewis, Greg Lestrade, and Victoria Gates); 

BBC Merlin’s Guinevere (with Merlin, Leon,  Gwaine, Lancelot, Sefa, Elena, Mithian, and sort of Arthur and Morgana–only if they behave themselves and grovel at her feet for all the shit they put her through).

(Ron and Hermione are the exception. Neither of them is allowed with anyone except each other in my head. And Felicia/Flambeau are the reverse, since I ship both of them with a lot of other people).