#So yep don't open the post if you don't need that mess or a burnout

[buttercupshands]

Hi hello

I'm... Taking a bit of a break, from social media and fandom related stuff aka isat fandom first and foremost

These two-three months were great, don't get me wrong, but...

I didn't really get anything form it other than a ton of irl problems, because of the priorities mixed in my brain

It's fine, everything's perfect even

Haven't felt like my art is liked this much... Pretty much basically never. Not even long ago.

I do enjoy sketching for myself, but that all was low effort and low interest in return and began to become more and more passionate about anything as a result

And... I think I burnout myself for real this time, both fandom wise and emotionally.

There were no conflicts, really, like yesterday was the most fun I had in years compressed in one day

And yet. It doesn't affect anything in my real life. Even more so my hyperfixation affected it super negatively and if it was anyone's fault it was mine.

So. I think it's time to set one thing straight - so I'm taking a break. Not deleting anything here again, just probably going silent aside from my scheduled 3 pm reblogs I've gathered in last 6 months.

I'm awake not, at 4 pm (or more like 5 pm) because I fell asleep at 8 am drawing and drawing for no reason. And it wasn't really worth all that effort. Nothing ever was worth any effort honestly.

And when you start questioning to yourself if it's worth it and can't find the excuse to continue on going and burning yourself away until you finally choke from your own grip on your useless neck... Isn't it better to rethink last choices?

I'm long past the point of having a mental break and cry that life isn't fair or something. And more than that I don't need help.

Honestly this little post is really just a quiet vent while I sort my thoughts.

And I've sorted them. Isat is just... To good to be true right now for me. Undeserved.

So a break, and I can thing of so many reasons while never believing any! But right now the effort it takes is not worth it, sorry. And I'm not scheduling again because that just resulted in me being scared that I posted one post twice

And now... I don't have that post anymore. And it did shook me, and it's still there.

Does it matter that the original post is deleted? Nope. You might never find it outside of reblogs with a wrong looking text and that's it.

And I hate thart. Have that so hard because I worked so hard on it.

Haha. Anyways, I'm still talking and talking....

Why am I doing this, again?