#So many kudos to Taron and Matthew for creating a character that is so three dimensional

[taronunwin]

Think about who Eggsy was at that time in his life. He’d probably already been friends and enemies with the same people as when we first meet him, he’d probably toyed with drugs and guns and alcohol and sex and everything else his friends were doing but somewhere along the way, he decided he wanted to do something more with his life. Maybe it was someone he knew from school, someone who wasn’t all that different from him, had a pretty hopeless future in front of him, and this guy suddenly stopped showing up at school and when Eggsy asked around about him, assuming the worst, he learned that this kid had left to enlist as a Marine.

And two weeks later, Eggsy still couldn’t shake that.

It haunted him in a way—the knowledge that the guy got out of this life and was now on his way to doing something actually important. So Eggsy, having just turned 18, and after a ‘party’ that his Mum insisted on having that ended with Dean coming in drunk and telling Eggsy’s friends to get the hell out before he started throwing beer bottles, resulting in Dean passed out on the couch while Eggsy and his pregnant Mum picked up the glass, that he decided he was done with this and he was ready to enlist.

He also decided that he wasn’t going to tell his Mum because she’d just tell him that things were going to get better. She’d been saying that for years. And even after Eggsy had pushed harder than he ever had to get her to leave with him before the baby was born, willing to risk angering her to the point of her choosing Dean over him, she still was determined to stay and make it work. Eggsy had never understood her loyalty to a man who treated her like he did, but he knew that somewhere, deep down, it was because the man she’d really loved, Eggsy’s father, had died and now his Mum was determined to never lose someone else again, no matter how rotten they were.

But Eggsy couldn’t live by her standards. So one night, without telling her, he packed his duffel and snuck out at 3 a.m., leaving a note in the fridge on a bottle of juice he knew Dean would never touch. It simply read, “Mum, I’m going to do something good, I’ll call when I can.”

And he enlisted right away, immediately feeling a sense of pride that he’d never felt before—pride in himself for breaking away from the life that was threatening to choke him. And to his own surprise, he started making friends. Sure, some of the guys were dicks, that was nothing new, but some weren’t and they accepted him and mirrored his own nervousness and feelings of being unqualified. But those worries dissipated as he started going through training and discovered he was actually really good at something for once, and not just stealing or committing petty crimes. No, he was actually good at doing good.

Didn’t matter how early he was awoken to do a drill or how many hours they kept him up to test his endurance, he never wavered, never gave up. His CO took him aside one day when he was reaching the halfway mark, thoroughly exhausted but still running on the thrill of making himself into a man his Dad would be proud of, and said, “Son, you’ve got exactly what it takes to be a Marine. Your parents must be proud of you.”

Ironically, two days later the only parent he had showed up on the base, somehow finding out where he was, and made a huge scene, demanding to see her son. When Eggsy heard about it, he hesitated. He knew if he saw her crying, screaming, no doubt hiding some bruises from Dean, he’d cave; he’d go back for her. And he just didn’t want to do that. Not even a little bit.

But when his CO called him to the main office, he knew he didn’t have a choice.

Walking through the door, he found exactly what he’d expected: his Mum sobbing, heavily pregnant, and broken by his absence. He immediately rushed to her, kneeling in front and holding her head to his chest as she clung to him. “Eggsy, please, don’t do this,” she begged through her sobs. His eyes squeezed shut, fighting tears. He couldn’t bear to see her like this. “Please, baby, don’t do this, you’ll die, and you can’t die, you’re all I have, please!”

Hearing that, he pulled away and angled her face, holding her there until she finally opened her eyes. “Mum… did you leave Dean?”

She lowered her eyes, ashamed, answering his question as loudly as if she’d yelled the reply. Eggsy wanted to punch something. But instead he pulled her tight to him again, allowing her tears to soak into his uniform.

He knew this was his only chance. If he gave this up, he’d be stuck in a life he hated with no way out because his Mum would never let him try anything like this ever again. His body was shaking with anger and panic.

“Please, Eggsy,” she repeated against him, almost drunkenly from her weariness. “I can’t lose you, too. Please don’t make me lose you, too.”

He felt broken inside. The pride he’d had in himself slipped away as he looked at his CO who stood nearby, watching silently, and felt the man’s pity. Minutes passed as Eggsy wavered between his two options, this feeling like the most pivotal decision he’d ever have to make. Finally, with tears burning his eyes, he stood, pulling his Mum to stand with him. “Come on, Mum. Let’s go home.”

Her wet eyes widened. “Do you mean it, luv?”

He nodded once, his jaw clenched so tight it hurt. “Yeah, let’s go.”

His CO gave an affirming nod and quietly said something about making an excuse on his form. “Family emergency,” he called it. Had he let Eggsy title it, he would have chosen “Family obligation.”

Dean started laughing at him as soon as he walked in the door of the apartment, saying, “Ah look at the big man, off to war. You look like a f*ckin’ idiot, ya prick. You really think you'da been able to make it? Nah, you’re a coward. Always have been, always will be.”

Eggsy pushed him away, resisting the urge to make good on his training, and, as usual, stuffs that anger down. He went into his room, slamming the door and locking it behind him with a lock that only worked half the time, and slowly, once he’d cooled down, began peeling off that armor, the uniform that made him feel taller, stronger, more like his Dad, his eyes constantly returning to the picture of his Dad on his cabinet as he returned to his clothes and popped his cap back on. It felt all wrong now, but… it would have to do. He’d fake it until it felt right again, if it ever did.

And he went out that night to the pub, didn’t bother giving his friends the real reason he’d been gone for so long, instead saying something about a girl and a trip, which they only half bought, and he drank until he couldn’t remember the Marines anymore.

Days passed after he moved back home and he felt a gaping void inside of him as the days blurred together, mornings spent staying in bed as long as possible before Dean banged on the door, demanding he get up and do something for him.

The only good thing that happened after was that his Mum went into labor and little Daisy was born. That gave Eggsy something good to focus on.

And the first night in the hospital as his Mum slept, after Dean had left for home, Eggsy stood by the window holding his new baby sister, humming softly to her. Her eyes opened and focused on him and he smiled down at her.

“I’ve got you, little one. Don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” And he meant it. That would be the good he could do now.