#So if you’re sad or struggling in anyway please talk to somebody about it

[tadfools]

I’m thinking about how much Matthew Mercer means to me (not only as a voice actor but as a gm) I’m thinking about the joy I get when I play video game/watch a show and I hear his voice (Minsc, Faribanks, MacCready, Majima, Yamato, Leon Kennedy, that bitch from Thunder Cats and so many more) like that’s my friend! That’s someone who’s voice i’ve heard for roughly 4 hours every Thursday for the last 9 years!

I remember watching critical role with the cracking audio and fuzzy cameras on geek and sundry and being absolutely enamored with the D&D world he created. I remember watching CR grow and how excited the gang got when milestones that now seem so trivial were reached. More than anything else I remember how I felt the first time I watched Matt play D&D with his friends and how extraordinary of a storyteller he is. Not only has he inspired me to become a GM but also a writer and a game dev

Each Thursday at the end of a session when I wave back to him through a screen automatically like I was actually at the table and he smiles and asks ‘is it Thursday yet?’ I think back to when I was 16 and my persistent depression was starting to spearhead my life how I used that as an excuse not to kill myself. And I understand how that can seem really silly to someone who’s never had to cope with depression, but being able to find something to use as an anchor point to say ‘no I can’t kill myself because I gotta feed my cat, I gotta water the plants, I gotta watch critical role next week’ is a phenomenal steppingstone on the path to normality

Matt was and is such a great help with that because he’s also coping with depression and anxiety and every time I get scared or really sad I think about all the wonderful things he’s done in spite of the chemical imbalances that we both share and that if he can thrive so can I. I truly believe he is one of the kindest people in the world, he cares so much for his friends and his family and all of these strangers he’ll never meet

I guess where I’m going with this is to say that if by any chance Matt does see this (because I know he’s a Tumblr lurker) Thank you. Thank you for being my friend and someone I look up to quite a lot. Thank you for sharing the world you’ve created with all of us and thank you for still being here

[otome-mondays]

Virche Evermore -ErroR:Salvation- First Impressions 🥀

This will be my first time doing a first impressions post, since I started Radiant Tale before starting my blog, so quick rundown of how this works: I play through the prologue of a game (maybe part of the common route if a prologue is too short) and give my initial thoughts of the game and any love interests that appear. These posts are going to be relatively spoiler free for most the plot, but I won’t limit myself from spoilers of what I’ve seen for those who want to play a game completely blind. I am writing as I encounter things so if it seems all over the place then haha yeah it is!

Trigger/Content Warnings: violence, murder, suicide, body horror. Please be mindful of your triggers and don’t interact with this post if you’re not in the capacity to handle such topics! I’ve put a read more for those who would like to avoid these triggers. I am not aware of all the triggering content in this game yet, so please look up a full list if you feel the need!

For Virche Evermore, I played the prologue and Chapter 1 for this post. I am trying to do these posts before the first necessary dialogue choice, but because of how short the prologue was and how you only see 3 of the 6 LIs at that point I decided to wait until a bit later. I started playing January 15, 2024.

Also, I’ll note my most anticipated and least anticipated with the respective emojis: ✨ and 💥

General Thoughts

Oh my god this starts out so wild??? The prologue portion was INCREDIBLY short and I immediately saved after and it said Act 2 so was that Act 1? No clue. Anyways, this poor girl has gone through it. I feel so bad for Ceres. I don’t like that everybody but Salome ignores her essentially. Ok so I didn’t realize we’d be taking a Piofiore route of introducing religion but that’s fun. I struggle with games addressing religion sometimes because of some personal issues so I’m anticipating this game will take me a bit to get through like Piofiore: Fated Memories.

Mathis

He seems very nice! He’s definitely one of the pretty boy characters and I have a stellar track record of picking those ones as my favorite. I did think he was wearing a dress at first and then was sad for 0.3 seconds when I discovered he wasn’t.

Lucas ✨

Oh boy another pretty guy. We’re off to an amazing start people. I was not expecting his voice but it fits, they almost always do. OH HE’S A TEACHER COOL! I am begging for at least one of these guys to have a full on dress at some point please they’d all pull it off flawlessly. Especially Lucas or Mathis. Oh he’s coughing that’s not good…I wanna fix this fictional country’s problems just to save this dude from dying he’s too pretty.

Scien

I have seen this man for 10 seconds and he is already getting on my nerves omg. Now to be fair, he is another pretty boy character…they probably all are now that I think about it. I was not expecting that voice from him though.

Yves

Ok this is the cover art guy…immediate first thought is he’s a little strange. I’m 99% sure he’s that kid who saved her in the fire. Yeah he basically instantly confirmed that, cool. Oh sweet the game confirmed it quickly on too, makes my life a lot easier. Somebody with braincells yay!

Adolphe 💥

Ok so I started my thoughts here at the first official time he makes an appearance. Interesting, I like him more than I thought I would when I was just seeing his sprite. He’s got some braincells unlike most these people so that’s a win. What’s not a win is the older brother-little sister dynamic we have here! Cute for anybody that’s not a love interest! Something from seeing his sprite enough now, does the dude wear a shirt because it doesn’t look like it?

Ankou

Oh my god he’s wild and not in a good way to start off! Ok he’s scaring me genuinely wow. But he is pretty…ok what is he even talking about. Oh and that’s it there’s the op. Well let’s see how this game goes!

[spunsugarmusings]

Evelyn Evelyn Sentence Starters

Starters taken from the 2011 album Evelyn Evelyn. Change pronouns as necessary!

"Of course, I'm always here."

"I'm frightened. It's that time of year again, isn't it (name)?"

"Tell me once more how it happened."

"Hush now, we don't talk about that, because it makes us sad."

“Why do we bother to stay?”

“Why are you running away?”

“Do you feel like severing everything?”

"Everything's just come together at last."

“It’s broken, I don’t want to play.”

“We grew up closer than anything.”

“What if they find us?”

“They’re not looking anyway.”

“Fill my glass, let’s drink a toast.”

"This is our birthday, so why are we weeping?"

"At your side I feel like a ghost."

"I wake up first, and I stare at you sleeping."

“A parasite needs a host.”

“I’m only trying to do what is best for us!”

"You're always trying to be somebody else!"

“I never asked for this, I never wanted this! All that I want is some time to myself!”

“You never listen, you’re always insisting I just stop reminiscing!”

“Please get away from me, please just stop touching me.”

“I just want you there with me!”

"I just want my privacy!"

“God, won’t you leave me alone?!”

"God, can't we just get along?!"

“We take Visa and Mastercard, Debit or cash!”

“Isn’t it nice that they’re being so nice to us?”

“If I’m not mistaken, I think they might like us!”

“Aren’t we lucky to be here?”

“Stop moving, they’re taking a picture!”

“Take off your coats, and just guess what the wind blew in!”

“They’re so well-behaved, not a single complaint yet.”

“I don’t know whether I should charge double or triple!”

"They sing timeless new songs rife with double entendres!"

“Dang, she’s gone and wandered off again!”

“I’ve been looking high and low.”

“Where oh where’d my sister go?”

“I ain’t seen that girl today!”

“Is she dead in a ditch somewhere?”

"Is she playing a trick on me?"

"She's been known to spend some time, with a sailor friend of mine."

"Did that ho-bag quit her job and run off with that dickhead Mike?"

“Take comfort, my sisters and brothers, the chicken man will come!”

“What’s she catching?”

“How they loved her in those early days!”

"During chores she never had to help."

"All her uncles drove her out to play."

“We would see them kissing on the lake.”

“Will she be soaring over the sea?”

“We’re all getting older.”

“What will they do with us when they are through with us?”

“What are we sailing for?”

“Three days later, she was gone.”

“You’re sad and in a cage but that’s irrelevant!”

“That won’t do for me, you understand?”

“Everyone gets jealous when they see me riding by.”

"How could I feel blue?"

"I've got my sister at my side, and an elephant to ride!"

“There’s so much you can learn, when you’re on a pachyderm!”

"The pet for me is something much more grand!"

“Life’s not so bad, it’s swell of it to give me such a friend!”

"Still, your eyes keep wandering back to her."

“Let’s get one thing straightened out here, sir.”

“This ain’t no two-for-one bargain here, mister.”

“I’m much more than just twice-shy.”

“If you look beneath the surface, we’re as different as can be.”

“There’s just one heart that beats for you, and that heart belongs to me, and not to her.”

“I need to know your love is real, but how?”

"You can't imagine just how much I miss her."

"She doesn't even know your name, she's going with some other guy!"

"We're all dressed up, the flowers are so pretty."

"Nobody suspects that it was me who put the Dran-O in her coffee."

"Now I know your love is true for sure."

"I just had the most terrible dream."

"Remember, everything is going to be better soon."

"Well, you can stay here, but it ain't gonna be free."

"Just think of all the friends we're going to have!"

"Well, it's hard enough to know where you're really supposed to go.

“They look at you like you’re a freak.”

“It’s a struggle just to stay alive.”

“Everyone stares, but nobody ever sees you.”

"You go searching everywhere, but the feeling never leaves you."

“You can’t always want what you get.”

"You want somewhere to hide where everyone can find you."

“There are plenty other acts like you.”

"Some people say the future's past."

"We're going down in an electro blast."

"It's a big bad world out there."

"You're crying out to find your friends, turn around and they are gone again."

"I just want my friends all together in one place."

“I just want to go, where nobody knows my name.”

“I just want My Space.”

"Love will tear us apart again."

[actuallysaiyan]

Can I request some headcanons of how the different sayians (If I spelled that right, I’m sorry) would comfort their s/o when they’re sad please? Like, Gohan, Vegeta, Goku and Trunks ❤️

(and possibly Vegito and Gogeta if you don’t mind, I absolutely love those fusion bois)

Thank you in advance, hope you’re doing good!

Word count: 1,323 Pairings: Son Gohan x Reader, Prince Vegeta x Reader, Son Goku x Reader, Trunks Briefs x Reader, Gogeta x Reader and Vegito x Reader Warnings: Fluff, slight smutty references, some violence references. A/N: I’ve done Gohan and Vegeta before in a similar post, but it was fun to revisit the idea of what they’d do to help cheer up their loved one! Thanks for the awesome request! I love those Saiyans so much!

Gohan knows immediately that you aren’t feeling happy. He’s quick to come to you and ask you what’s wrong.

You might not want to talk about it at first, and Gohan respects that. He’ll give you space if you need it.

If you want to vent and rant, Gohan will lend an ear and not be judgemental at all. He’ll just listen and you can vent to him.

If you want advice, then he will give it to you. He’ll hold you close and play with your hair while he explains the situation to you.

If you cry, Gohan will hold you tight and rub your back soothingly while praising you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

He’ll buy you some comfort food and watch a silly movie with you. 

If you want to have sex to relieve some pain, Gohan is going to be so slow and sensual with you. Your pleasure will go before his own, and his aftercare will just be him pampering you.

Gohan will snuggle with you and maybe even make a blanket fort to see you cheer up.

Gohan loves you so much, he hates seeing you sad. He will literally do anything for you.

Vegeta isn’t used to being very emotional, but if you aren’t feeling happy, he’s going to know right away.

He’ll give you space at first, seeing as he knows that’s how he deals with his own sadness. 

If you come to him and you’re crying, he’s going to be so damn flustered.

“Who did this to you?! Who would dare hurt you?!” He’s ready to get vengeance if he needs to.

When you tell him that you are just sad, he’ll just be speechless. He knows how to beat up enemies and save the world, but he’s completely clueless as to what to do when it comes to cheering you up.

If you crumble into his arms and sob hard, he’ll wrap his arms around you and bring you closer. His heart aches hearing you cry like this.

“Please, just cheer up. You are so strong and wonderful.” He’s not sure what to say, but he tries his best.

If you want to cuddle and watch a movie, Vegeta will make an exception for you. He’ll hold you close and play with your hair and kiss you.

He doesn’t know many jokes, so he might not go that route to cheer you up. He thinks about getting Goku to help him, but he hates the idea of having to ask that clown for help.

If you need him to fuck the pain away, he will. Except, he’ll be very soft and sweet with you, making sure you know that you are loved.

Goku isn’t the smartest emotionally, but he catches on to sudden changes in your mood kind of quickly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he’ll ask you all oblivious. If you break down in tears, his heart will instantly break.

He brings you into his arms and holds you close and just lets you vent. Goku isn’t the best with words, so he just wants you to know that he’s there to listen.

“You know what always makes me feel better? Lots of good food and training!” This is his way of telling you he wants to order food.

You’ll get cozy with him and convince him to not train, unless you really were into that and wanted to blow off some steam.

Goku will try his best to sit still and watch a movie with you, but he might get easily distracted.

He’ll say something funny without realizing it and it makes you laugh, and this makes Goku feel very relieved.

Once the movie is over and you’ve both eaten loads, he’ll ask you if you’ll watch him train. Just say yes, and it’ll make him happy. If Goku is happy, it’s hard not to be happy by extension.

If you insinuate that you’d like to fuck the pain away, Goku is actually super into that. Sex to him is like a different way of training.

Goku gets very rough during sex sometimes, and this is no exception. He’ll praise you very well for taking his cock though.

Afterwards, he’ll cuddle you and just praise you, realizing you need lots of words of affirmation and love.

Trunks is very sweet. He’ll realize immediately that you aren’t feeling well and he’ll just come up and give you a hug.

“Are you okay, sweetie? Is there anything I can do for you?” He’s always making sure you’re okay.

If you want to cry, he’ll hold you in his arms and just kiss you while you cry and vent. He adores you and wants you to be happy.

Trunks will run you a bath and set you down in it, allowing you to relax fully. Trunks will also make sure you’ve got something good to drink while you’re relaxing in the bath.

While you’re soaking in the tub, he’s going to order some of your favorite food and set up a mini blanket fort in the living room.

Trunks will cuddle you after eating and you’ll watch a funny movie with him. He kisses you softly and just whispers praise in your ear.

He’ll actually spoon you and maybe even cockwarm with you if that’s something that would make you feel better.

If not, he’ll give you a nice massage and rub you all over to make sure you’re feeling very relaxed.

Do you want chocolate? Nachos? A special snack that you don’t have at home? Trunks is rushing out to get it for you.

Lots of soft kisses and cuddles all night, as Trunks wants to make sure you feel much better before going to bed.

He’ll probably sing you a lullaby while you sleep, and he’ll hold you close the whole night through.

Gogeta isn’t very sure how to comfort you. He wants to see you smile, but he’s not sure if he’ll mess up.

He’ll probably just come over to your place and spend time with you. If you need to be quiet and alone, he’ll give you space.

Gogeta is actually a huge fan of fucking the pain away, but he won’t force you into it.

If you want to though, he’ll actually be super sweet and sensual.

Expect a full body massage and just funny jokes from the Goku side of this fusion.

He’ll even threaten to kick someone’s ass if he knows they hurt you and made you sad.

Loves you and wants you to feel good. He hates seeing you sad.

Might buy you snacks on his way to your house, might eat them all before he can give them to you.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!” You just hold him close, and he rubs your back soothingly.

He’s literally going to threaten to beat up whoever made you sad. If nobody’s made you sad, he’ll probably offer to beat up somebody anyway.

If that’s not what you want, he may panic a little. He wants to see you smile.

Will give you an awkward hug to start with, but as you melt into the hug, he’s going to hold you closer.

“Don’t cry. You are beautiful, strong and so amazing.” You can’t help but smile at his attempt to cheer you up.

He’s very interested in just being here for you as much as he can, but doesn’t know how to show you that he loves you.

You’ll probably end up eating so much food and watching funny shows, which amuses him very much.

If you need some physical release, he’s going to treat you right. Vegito will put your pleasure first...but it might turn into overstimulation if you’re not careful.

Struggles with the right words to tell you, but he always ends up saying something very sweet.

“You’re wonderful. Don’t forget that,” He kisses you softly while you try to forget about your sadness.

[pigeonp0st]

Hey can you do a fic where reader is under mind control of some sort from an enemy and is forced to attack Nat and the rest of the avengers and Nat has to talk her out of it and calm her down something rlly intense and angsty pls

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #6

Words: 2,177

Warnings: Agnst

(tell me if there’s more I should add)

Notes:

I realized after I finished writing that I didn’t have Nat talk R out of it like you asked...I solved it in another way...i’m sorry!! I hope you enjoy anyways, thanks a lot for requesting (and sorry for spelling mistakes...there’s probably a lot) also sorry for this in general...I’m disappointed in it and the ending...I was sleep deprived and delirious for half of it...

———

It was supposed to be a simple mission, and a simple day. You and Nat had planned to head to the beach for the first time in a long time afterwards and everything. It was supposed to be a good day.

Good day...ha.

The sad truth is, is that things don’t always work out the way you expect them to. Sometimes things go horribly wrong.

Sometimes you get mind controlled by the ‘big bad’ and hurt the people you love most. Or maybe that stuff only happened to people like you. ‘Heroes.’

——-

You were conscious. That was the cruel agonizing part of it all. It’s that with every swing of your knife, every landed hit, every plea that fell from their lips, you knew what was happening.

You knew what was happening but could do nothing about it. Well...you could, technically, but it hurt. It hurt to fight. The pain was similar, you imagine, to what it feels like getting burned alive and then ran over eighteen times.

You didn’t think you could do it. Your will power wasn’t that strong. You would probably die trying to gain control—

It hurt. It hurt. You didn’t want to. You couldn’t, you—

Natasha. Natasha was saying; “fight it, Y/N, fight it,” and to you and to the pain that fighting the mind control caused, she may as well have been saying, “die, Y/N, die”

And yeah. Okay. For her, you will. For her you must.

Tears were running down your cheeks, it was the one thing the mind control didn’t have control of. It was...weird. Weird feeling such an immense amount of pain, such an immense amount of suffering, and being unable to show it. Unable to scream. You were silent, but your body felt loud, your head felt loud.

For a long minute you couldn’t hear them, you couldn’t even register the things you were seeing, all you knew was pain, everything outside of that was illegitimate.

Then, silence. For a brief, blissful moment before it was gone again. Nat’s arms were around you, and you were shaking, but completely still otherwise—finally, finally, you weren’t hurting them— “You’re okay,” Nat whispered, and how could that concept, in a few moments of agony, become something so foreign. Have you ever been okay before? Have you ever lived without this much hurt?

———-

“Nat,” you croaked, the words shaking almost as roughly as your body. “Natasha, kill me.”

Those three words, said with an immeasurable amount of desperation, were just as much not your own as your body was at this moment. They were said in a moment of pain.

Somehow, Natasha knew that. She knew that. She knows what you look like when you’re experiencing physical pain. It’s been seared into her mind countless times, but that doesn’t prevent her heart from aching as much as it does when you start begging.

“Natasha please, please baby, please. Somebody, please! Before it—”

And then you were screaming, and Natasha hates how it’s even worse than the begging.

Somehow you’ve managed to gain control of your vocals, but your body isn’t yours again, she realizes it when you start struggling against her arms…it’s a terrible thing to realize.

“Stop,” Nat yells, so obviously terrified and raw that half of the Avengers freeze where they’re circling you. “Stop fighting it, it’s okay, it’s okay.” She holds you as tightly as she can, with her eyes screwed shut. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And god, she hates the way it sounds like a goodbye too, but she just knows that even if you could register her voice right now, you aren’t going to listen.

You’re going to keep fighting to protect her and the others, because it’s what you’ve always done.

So Natasha takes a deep breath, in and out, and tries to think about her options. She tries to think about her options with you struggling and trying to reach for your knife, and the Avengers circled around her with nothing but ashen expressions that speak of nightmares to come, and she doesn’t know. She just doesn’t know.

There’s no safe way for her to knock you out for a long period of time, not ones that won’t cause long term problems afterwards, but she doesn’t need any because suddenly your body stops struggling, and stops moving, and you’re slumped unconscious in her arms.

It’s a great relief for everyone until Natasha lifts her hand from your pulse, and says, shockingly and terrifyingly devoid of emotion; “I think she’s going into shock.”

——

Everything is a blur to Natasha after that. She recalls yelling, lights, arriving at the hospital, a countdown of; one, two, three, and then she’s sitting in a seat next to your hospital bed wondering when everything went so wrong.

——

All Natasha hears when she closes her eyes is you screaming in agony at the top of her lungs, and all she feels is the phantom touch of your cold ashen skin against her hands.

You’re okay now, Natasha reminds herself. You’re going to be okay, but there’s something deeply traumatizing and everlasting about the moments where you’re sure everything won’t be—the moments you’re almost sure the love of your life won’t be.

Hearing someone you love beg you to kill them, seeing the person you love most in so much agony, it’s...scarring...but Natasha will be strong. She has to be, because being weak hurts too much, but more importantly; you need her to be.

As traumatizing as the experience was for her, she knows that yours was just as bad—if not worse. You were strong for her, so she’ll be for you.

Like protecting her to you seemed like your only option, even while you were hurting so much because of it, it’s Natasha’s only option too.

So she’ll keep it all together, until you’re back to normal and she doesn’t have to anymore.

——-

Natasha startles when you wake up. She physically startles, because the first thing you do is start sobbing, sobbing hard enough to make Natasha concerned that you’ll start hyperventilating.

“Are you okay?” Natasha asks, up from her seat in a flash to be by your side, “is he still mind controlling you? Are you still hurting?”

You aren’t looking at her, Natasha realizes with a large amount of grief. You won’t look at her, but you’re shaking your head no to her questions, and she supposes that perhaps you are okay—physically.

She wants more than that for you, so she sighs, heavily and sadly— because she can’t protect you from this anymore than she was able to protect you from the mind control—and wraps her arms around your distraught form.

“It’s okay,” Nat mumbles, and then winces and corrects herself because it’s so clearly not. “It will be okay.”

That she is sure of, but you aren’t.

“Natasha,” you force out (Natasha tries not to remember the way you said her name yesterday), “You’re covered in- you’re covered in bruises and cuts...baby, i’m so sorry.”

Your voice cracks on sorry, and Natasha closes her eyes to prevent her own tears from falling. “It wasn’t you,” she whispers fiercely, “i’m not mad at you. Of course i’m not.”

“You should be.”

You pull away from her then. Natasha feels the loss in her heart, she’s sure.

All she wants to do is hold you in her arms and never let go, but with the amount of unjustified shame you’re feeling she doubts you’ll let her.

“Your arm,” you stutter, “did it need stitches?”

Natasha won’t lie to you, so she says nothing—instead she tries to meet your haunted eyes. It’s a useless attempt.

She knows what you’re remembering, and she hates it. “The cut on my neck...it wasn’t that deep. It shouldn’t even scar.”

“I didn’t ask you about the cut on your neck, Natasha.”

Natasha tenses where she’s standing, caught off guard by the loathing in your voice until she realizes that it’s not directed at her, but at yourself.

Your eyes finally, finally, meet Natasha’s. They’re tear brimmed, scared, and unbelievably angry. “I’m going to kill him,” you rasp brokenly, “Natasha, i’m going to kill him.”

——-

Nat says nothing. She just continues to stare back at you.

“He had no right, Natasha, he had no right to do that to me,” your face is crumbling now, anger turning back into devastation in an instant. “Nat, why—why was it me? I—god, i’m so angry, i’m so—i’m so sorry. I’m sorry, i’m sorry. God...what did I do?”

Natasha still says nothing, why isn’t she saying anything? You want to yell at her, you want her to yell at you, you want—you want.

“Is Clint...is he okay?” You ask wobbly.

You remember vividly the moment you stabbed him, and the betrayal on his face, the betrayal on everyone’s faces until they realized you weren’t in control of your own body.

“He’s okay,” Natasha says simply. Then, “the man who did what he did to you...Wanda is handling it. She’s able to block out his mind control.”

“Okay.”

“Can I hold you?”

“What?”

Natasha shifts where she stands, looking down. She’s never looked more uncertain. “You didn’t seem to want me close before...I wasn’t sure…”

Oh.

“Nat,” you whisper, heartbroken, “I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust I’m me.”

Natasha tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and leans down to kiss your temple. You want nothing more than for her to get away from you. You don’t want to hurt her ever again. You can’t. “Oh baby,” she laughs a sad sort of laugh, “you’ve been handcuffed.”

And that, for whatever reason, starts another wave of unreleased tears, but you're laughing now too...if only at the insanity of your situation.

You feel restricted by the handcuffs, trapped in the way you were during the mind control, but you also feel safe. Safe from doing harm, so you allow her, between breaths, to join you on the hospital bed.

She lets out a relieved breath when you do, both because she’s allowed to hold you, and because you’re laughing...yeah it might me a manic sort of laugh, but it’s something.

Something is better than nothing. It’s a start.

——

“Natasha, I can tie my own fucking shoes.”

Nat looks up at you from where she’s crouched by your feet, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Then why’d you ask me to do it?”

“W-What? No I didn’t.” Mind controlled. You were mind controlled again. Fuck—

“Yeah you did,” Natasha reminds gently, “while you were eating your disgusting jello.”

Oh. Yeah.

You release a shaky breath, laughing quietly all the while, because wow. Wow. You’re losing your mind. “I totally remembered that...they just slipped something into my jello…”

Natasha watches you carefully for a few moments before rolling her eyes and getting to her feet. “Tie your own shoes.”

“Asshole,” you mutter bitterly under your breath. Natasha pretends not to hear you and simply presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you,” she confesses quietly. Natasha’s been saying as much over and over again since you first awoke.

“Now I feel like the asshole. Just go get the discharge papers.”

Finally, Natasha laughs.

——-

You’re healing still, emotionally, the Avengers and Natasha are very aware of that. They’ve been as gentle as they can possibly be with you since you left the hospital a couple of weeks ago, but now—now it’s time for an intervention.

So naturally, you press the big red emergency meeting button Steve hides in his room and force everyone to meet in the living room.

“I’m not sad anymore,” You announce to them all when Wanda asks why the fuck she was woken up for.

The grumbling immediately quiets.

“Well,” you pause, considering, “I...am. Deep down. I’m tryna work through it but it’s kinda hard now that I'm forgetting a lot of what happened.”

Natasha sits up at that, alarmed. “You’re forgetting?”

You wave your hand dismissively. “My mind is blocking it out. I’m traumatized...but pretty okay otherwise.” The others don’t look convinced, so with an annoyed groan you relent. “I’m thinking about seeing Steve’s therapist. You guys should too.”

A chorus of protest instantly comes forward, not to your surprise...but Wanda...Wanda does surprise you.

“I am, too.”

Then Natasha, “I...was actually considering it myself.”

Well then.

“I’m also considering making my own sitcom,” Wanda continues, resting her head in her hand. “What do you guys think?”

“Stick to therapy, Wanda. Stick to therapy.”

At that, everyone comes forward in agreement.

You’re sure, in that moment, that with these people you’ll be okay.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 8

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language, descriptions of anxiety and trauma response, a character gets Covid-19 Word Count: 3.8k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | You are on Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: The Dreamies are best friends and you can’t change my mind.

What do you do when everything that makes you a person starts to feel rudimentary? When you start to feel like an imposter in your own body? When nothing feels real and everything feels inconsequential and the world spins but you stand still?

You do what you’ve always done. You let your body keep you alive.

And that’s what Renjun does. He lets his body take over. He lets it put one foot in front of the other. He lets it make him breathe in and out. He lets it keep his heart beating.

Because his mind had stopped functioning. He felt a numbing take over. Like a warm trickle that started from the crown of his head had run down to his shoulders, numbing everything in its wake. Like his kind body knew that his mind needed protection that way. He feels numb and that’s all he feels.

So he concentrates on every breath. In and out. In and out. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, outside the hospital ward, counting every breath this way. Has it been weeks? Months? Years? Why does time have no meaning? Who decided when the hours would turn to days and days would turn to weeks, anyway? Who decided that time must be measured in the ticking of clocks and in the flips of calendars? How did any of this make sense?

Time should be measured in other ways that would make it seem more real. Time should be measured in the number of times Renjun had hid under the stairs so he could block out his parent’s fights. Time should be measured in the instances Renjun had fed himself dried laver because his parents had a screaming match about whose responsibility it was feeding him. Time should be measured in the days Renjun was alone and scared, waiting for his parents to come home. Time should be measured in the nights that Renjun had spent trying to make peace with the fact that he might never get to return home and that he’d have to stay with his grandmother for all the nights to come. Time should be measured in the last time Renjun felt happiness. Time should be measured in the last time somebody had loved Renjun. Time should be measured in stolen childhoods and resentments and broken relationships and the number of times a person can be abandoned. 

Because that would make a lot more sense than seconds, hours, and fucking days. But how long had it been in any of those measures? He still has no understanding of that.

So he lets his body take over. He breaths in and out. He keeps his heart beating. He puts one foot in front of the other. And he has no idea how doing so has led him to this place. Like his feet carried him where his mind didn’t even know he wanted to be.

But he has walked and there you are. Walking down the stairs looking like you always do. Smiling. Happy. Content. Looking more beautiful than you’ve ever looked. Did Renjun ever think you looked anything less than the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen? Renjun doesn’t remember the time. But you look up then and see him standing there. And your smile fades. The light in your eyes dim. The skip in your stride falters. Of course. Renjun was putting out lights everywhere he went.

You see him and approach him, slow and cautious. Like one would approach an injured cat. And Renjun wonders what he must look like. He finds himself speaking out of his body’s own accord. Because he spoke the words before his mind had even had the thought.

“I know you hate me.” he says, although he doesn’t recognize his own voice. His body is here, doing all the work for him. But where is his soul? 

“I don’t hate you, Renjun.” you say quietly and Renjun finds himself smiling a sad smile. Of course you didn't hate him. You weren't capable of hatred. It was one of your biggest flaws that had made him fall.

“You should hate me.” Renjun tells you. And he watches your pretty face moving. Like you weren’t sure what you had walked into outside of your own home.

“I…” you pause, maybe to read his face. Like you were picking your next words carefully, weighing them against what you saw before you “... Renjun, are you okay?”

Renjun looks away. Was he okay? What did it mean to be okay? Had he ever been okay? He looks back at you. How could he tell you that nothing in his world was okay? How could he tell you that he didn’t even feel like a person? How could he tell you that he felt like a punching bag for his family and his life and the universe? Why couldn’t you just tell?

“Renjun… um, I know it was a lot. What happened. But, your friends care about you, you know? I know you fought but… it’s nothing you can’t work through…” you’re speaking to him carefully, like if you make one wrong move, Renjun would lash out at you. Truth be told, Renjun is not sure how he’d react to anything anymore. His mind is numb. He doesn’t know how he’s still moving, breathing, speaking. He doesn’t even know why he came here, to you. But his body answers.

“Can I come in for some ramyeon?” he asks suddenly. When was the last time he ate? He doesn’t remember. Why doesn’t he remember anything anymore?

“Um, I…” you hesitate a bit but stop when a car drives in and pulls up in front of you. And that’s when Renjun notices that you’re pulling a travel bag behind you. 

“Are you…” Renjun begins to ask but the car’s window has been rolled down and Wong Hendery is waving at the two of you. Even through his numbness, Renjun can feel his heart clench. Of course. Renjun thought he had the power to break your heart. How very conceited he had been to think that. He had probably been a roadblock for you at best. It made sense. You should be with Wong Hendery. He was taller and stronger and more handsome. He came from better means. He was probably nicer to you. He probably listened to you when you talked. He probably got to know you. He probably knew your favorite tea because Renjun certainly hadn’t taken the time to find out. He probably admired you and took you out and knew your life and all your problems. He was a much better man for you than Renjun ever was.

“I… I’m going to be out of town for a bit.” you say slowly, and if Renjun wasn’t so numb, he’d think that you almost look apologetic. 

“Oh. Okay.” he replies.

“We can talk when I get back?” you ask cautiously.

“Okay.”

“If you want to, I mean.” you add.

“Yeah…”

“Okay… I’ll see you, then.” you say, looking at him like you’re trying to say something but deciding to move ahead instead.

“See you.” 

You walk on, rolling your bag behind you when you slowly turn to look at him. “Renjun, um…” your stop for a bit, like you’re not sure whether you should say what you want to say “... take care of yourself.” you sigh and walk away from him.

Renjun watches as Wong Hendery gets out of the car and helps you load your bag into the trunk. He even opens the door for you and helps you put your seatbelt on. Had Renjun done any of these things for you? Probably not. What was it that Renjun had wanted from you, again? He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember a time when he was with you for a reason other than your company. Other than wanting you by his side. So what the fuck was it that he had wanted from you? All the material benefits he had ever wanted seem so pointless. So small. So incredibly inconsequential. How could he have possibly wanted them from you? How did he ever think that you were anything less than the most giving person in the world? How did he spend all that time blocking you out when you had brought him so much lightness? Why didn’t anyone ever tell him that all that he had wanted would mean absolutely nothing when you were walking away from him with another man?

Renjun wants to stop you. ‘Don’t go with him. Stay with me. I need you.’ he wants to say. ‘You only fight with the people you truly love,’ you had told him. So why didn’t you remember your own words?

But walking away you were. And that was the truth of it. Renjun didn’t deserve happiness in any way, shape or form. Who was he to stop you after all he had done to you? This is what he deserved. To be beaten down till he didn’t feel like a thinking, feeling person. Just a breathing, walking body. 

So his body carries him home. Although Renjun had never known what home really meant.

As it would turn out, home meant the apartment, where he lived with his friends.

Or what had been his friends before he had done everything in his power to push them away. He doesn’t know how his body remembers his code or how it automatically rids itself of his shoes and jacket. How his feet carry him to his room of their own accord.

He pauses only when he sees Jisung sitting there at his desk, playing video games. He looks up startled as he sees Renjun at the door. 

“Renjun…” the boy says, game forgotten. His eyes follow him as he makes his way from the foot of the door to his bed. He waits, eyes wide, hesitating. 

“Where have you been?” Jisung asks, turning in his chair, eyes taking in Renjun’s demeanor.

Renjun is silent for a moment. He doesn’t know what to say. He sits on the edge of his bed and he feels that trickle once again that starts from his head and crawls down to his shoulders. Except this time, it weighs him down. Like a stronghold was actually pressing him down till he felt he was sinking, sinking, sinking. He feels his lips moving.

“My grandma has Covid.” he finds himself saying.

Had he looked up, he would’ve seen how Jisung’s face had gone from being cautiously surprised to openly panicked. How the boy was struggling to find something to say. “Is she okay? Where is she?”

“In the isolation ward.” Renjun says and he is surprised by how normal his voice sounds.

“Wait… hold on, Renjun, please… stay right here...” Jisung begins as he scrambles out of his seat and out the door. The poor boy never knew what to do in these situations. Renjun feels bad. The boy was way too young and innocent to have Renjun around him right now. Because Renjun’s shoulders were carrying the weight of the world. His heart was carrying nothing but emptiness. His presence was burdening, and that’s exactly what he didn’t want to give his young roommate: his burden. 

He hears more people walk in. Jisung had apparently gone out to call for backup. Because no way was the boy equipped to deal with what was unfolding in front of him on his own. And now Jeno and Jaemin are walking in behind him, concern on their faces as they approach Renjun.

“What’s going on?” Jeno asks softly as he sits next to Renjun, turning his attention to him fully. Jaemin and Jisung stand by the bunk bed, waiting for Renjun to speak.

“My grandma has Covid. She is in the isolation ward. It’s bad.” Renjun repeats. A pause hangs in the air before anyone speaks.

“Fuck, Renjun… I am so sorry.” Jeno finally says. He exchanges a look with Jaemin and the boy grabs the wheelie chair and brings it closer while Jisung sits on the floor. They all huddle around Renjun, waiting, listening, protecting.

“How long has it been, Renjun?” Jaemin asks kindly. 

“Um. I don’t know how long she had it before she was brought to the hospital. No one’s really told me much.” Renjun replies, looking at nothing, looking at no one. He can see Jisung sitting by his feet, looking up at him. He can feel Jeno and Jaemin close on either side of him. But he dares not meet any of their eyes.

“Is that why you haven’t been home much this past week?” Jeno asks.

“No, I, uh. I only found out yesterday afternoon.” Renjun answers and he’s surprised that he replied in actual time units. “Before that, uh. My… my parents are getting divorced. So, I had been going down to see them. It’s why I wasn’t at the party.” 

There is a profound silence in the room as his friends absorb the information. Jaemin is the first one to break it.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Renjun?” he asks softly, kindly.

“I, uh…” Renjun thinks for a moment. Was it only last week that the taxing calls from his mother had resulted in him blocking out all the people from his life? Was it only a couple of days ago that his biggest worry had been his parent’s failing marriage? Was it only two nights ago that he had avenged his bad luck by lashing out on all his friends? “... I don’t know. I didn’t want to bother you guys, I guess. You all had exams.”

“We would’ve wanted to be there for you even if we had exams, Renjun.” Jaemin says, leaning his head down to face Renjun so he would look into his eyes.

Renjun peeks up for a moment but wishes he didn’t. Because now there is a lump in his throat. Jaemin was looking at him so kindly even though Renjun had done nothing to deserve his kindness. He swallows so his voice would be steady before he speaks.

“Still. I, uh. I didn’t want you guys to worry.” he says.

“It’s okay for us to worry about our friend, Renjun.” Jeno says and this time, Renjun can’t possibly hold back the tears that sting his eyes.

“Renjun… have you eaten?” Jaemin asks, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Um…” Renjun’s voice comes out husky. So he clears his throat. “No, I haven’t.” And suddenly he feels how hungry he really was.

He feels a scramble at his feet. “I…” Jisung speaks awkwardly but purposefully. “... I’ll get some food.” and Renjun realizes that if Jisung is the one putting himself in charge of food, then his friends must really be pushing themselves to take care of him. The boy gets up and leaves the room and Jeno speaks again.

“When did you find out about your parents?”

“Um… maybe last week? I don’t know. My mother had been calling me a lot during exam week. I went to see them the day of the party.” Renjun is finding that the more he talks, the more he feels the heaviness in his shoulders ease.

“You should’ve told us. We would’ve come with you.” Jeno says and Renjun sees that he’s wearing a crease between his brows.

“You guys had the party.” Renjun says and somehow saying it out loud makes him realize how dumb this reasoning was.

“You are more important to us than any party, Renjun.” Jaemin says and Renjun doesn’t know whether to cry or to smile. It wasn’t often that his friends spoke this way. But it was oddly comforting that they were speaking this way now. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to hear the words they were speaking to him.

“Yeah… I… I guess I didn’t know that.” Renjun purses his lips because he’s sure that any breath he lets out would choke him. So inhales deeply through his nose.

“Your grandma… do you know how she is doing?” Jeno asks.

“I don’t really know. My mother’s been with her. I could only wait in the lobby. I just know she’s on life support. And that can never be good.” Renjun bites his lip.

“People have survived Covid even after they’ve been on life support, Renjun.” Jaemin says.

“Yeah, but. She’s so old and frail…” Renjun’s voice cuts off and he’s not sure he can go on any longer. He balls his hands into fists as he fights his tears.

Jaemin takes his hand, gently prying it open before he holds it. “She’s stronger than you know, Renjun. She brought you up all on her own. She’s been living all on her own. She’s been supporting you all this time. Older people have been cured in hospitals. She will be, too.” Jaemin says with so much certainty that it fills Renjun’s heart with hope. He nods. It was so strange having another perspective presented to him. One that told him that being in hospital didn’t mean death and misery. That it could mean cure and recovery and health as well.

“Are you allowed to see her in some way?” Jeno asks.

“No. But they needed a family member on the outside to get like… medicine and stuff. My father has been there but given the situation with my mother… I don’t know how much longer he’d want to be around.”

“We’ll take turns.” Jeno says looking at Jaemin and he nods. “You can rest tonight as long as you’d like. We’ll all go one by one.”

“I’ll take the first shift. I’ll go in the morning and Jeno can take over in the afternoon.” Jaemin nods.

“I’ll call my mother and ask her what things we might need during this time.” Jeno plans some more.

“I’ll make a list of all the duties we will need to be on top of. Medicine, food, any change of clothes Renjun’s mother might need.” Jaemin adds with purpose.

Renjun feels the tears again. He hadn’t even asked for this but his friends were already making up a rota to help him during the worst time of his life.

“I’m really sorry.” Renjun says, only now he is saying it mindfully.

Jeno smiles gently and puts an arm around Renjun and brings himself at his eye level. “What do you have to be sorry for, huh?”

“I don’t know… just for everything…” he tries to explain but finds his throat getting thick again.

“We’ve been really worried about you, Renjun. We just wanted to give you some time.” Jaemin says in a soft, nurturing tone.

“Everybody, man. Chenle told us that you must be going through some real shit and Mark gave us an earful for not probing you for information. But Jaemin said you would probably like some space.” Jeno tells him and Renjun is surprised to find out that his friends had picked up on his aloofness. At the same time, and as if in a sudden moment of clarity, he is not surprised at all. Of course they picked up on it. These people were his friends.

“That was a stupid idea, though. I don’t think we should’ve left you alone. Let’s always probe him in the future.” Jaemin reflects, shaking his head.

“Yeah, let’s always probe him.” Jeno repeats and Renjun finds himself sniggering through the tears.

Jeno rubs the back of Renjun’s neck. “We’ve got you, man,” and finally, and miraculously, he believes it.

Jisung walks in right then, holding onto what looks like laundry. “I… I put this in the drier. It is nice and warm. You… you should shower and change because you’ve been in the hospital.” Jisung says awkwardly. Renjun looks up and can’t help but smile because he can’t believe the boy that was most like a younger brother to him was taking care of him. “And uh, you both as well. Shower and change and uh… I’ll change and sanitize these sheets.”

Jeno looks up and smiles at him as well. It’s such a weird feeling, this odd sort of pride when you realize that your youngest is growing up and taking care of you. This is an extraordinary, bizarre moment in every possible way. But Renjun accepts this moment with open arms over all the moments he had been given these past couple of weeks. 

“Um… I think you have to put your contaminated clothes in like, a plastic bag. I’ll Google how to disinfect them. But you should all shower before the food gets here.” he says again, awkwardly moving from the foot of the bed to his desk.

“Okay, Jisung.” Renjun says, smiling a tired but genuine smile.

“Yes, big brother.” Jaemin chuckles. 

“Okay… let’s shower and disinfect.” Jeno says, patting Renjun on the back before getting up. 

The four boys reconvene in the living room later, fresh and clean and comfortable, sitting round the coffee table on the floor, looking up in surprise as Jisung brings in boxes of pizza and sets them up.

“Is Jisung really setting up the food he bought?” Jeno asks in mock wonder. But set them up he does and he even goes so far as to place a piece in front of all his friends and pour out coke for them in little paper cups. And when Renjun doesn’t pick up his slice right away, Jaemin leans in and feeds him his own. And eating makes Renjun feel so much more hopeful. The four friends eat and talk as if the fight hadn’t even happened in this very place just a couple of days ago. Like all was well and the only thing that mattered was that they needed to be there for Renjun when he was hurting. 

And in that moment, Renjun realizes that his body was kinder to him than his mind had been. Because his mind had been telling him to hide away, to block everyone out. To suffer in silence and believe that nobody cared for him. To never open up because nothing good could ever come out of it. His mind had told him that his friends didn’t worry about him. That nobody in this world cared about him.

But his body had kept him alive. His body had numbed his mind and led him to all the people he loved. His body knew that Renjun had friends who truly cared for him. Who would sit and listen to him without judgement. Who would hold no grudges and be there for him when he needed them. Who would huddle around him to protect him, hold his hand when it needed to be held, feed him when he was hungry and tuck him in so he could finally get some sleep. 

His mind had worried and worried till it could worry no more because it was so damn tired. But his body had been so kind. His body reminded him that he mattered. That he was loved. That he was not alone. Because he always had his friends. And him and his friends had always been a dream team.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[lady-salvatore]

Champagne Problems

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Desc.: Steve proposed to you, and you said no. It takes a week for the both of you to figure out why.

Warnings: angst, mentions of mental illness, female reader, happy ending :)

Notes: AHH so this is my first Marvel fic, please let me know what y’all think. 💖

Steve stared at that glittering diamond ring between his thumb and finger, staring at it as if somehow it had malfunctioned.

Or maybe he had.

He leaned back into the seat of the very empty train, your ‘no’ echoing in his head a thousand times over. He wondered if it was him, if he’d done something wrong— if that was why you wouldn’t marry him.

He guessed there’d been signs throughout the night. You were pensive, quiet. You didn’t want to dance. You weren’t smiling.

Steve wrote it off as nerves. You must’ve known what was coming, you were just anxious was all.

He thought it would all be fixed when he got down on one knee. He saw tears glimmering in your eyes and mistook them for happiness.

He was wrong.

In the chest pocket of Steve’s jacket (a suit he’d bought just for tonight) was his wallet. Inside was a picture of you, and it felt like that picture was going to burn a hole right through his chest.

You burst through the door of your apartment, slamming it behind you and leaning against it. Tears and mascara ran down your face as you tried to breathe against the constriction on your chest.

Your roommate and best friend, Wanda, came into the room with wide eyes. “(Y/N), what-“

“I said no,” you gasped helplessly for air. “I said no. He asked me to marry him and I said no.”

Wanda’s jaw fell open and her eyes filled with pity. She came over and wrapped you in her arms. “You’re freezing! And shaking...”

You sobbed against her shoulder as she guided you to sit down on the couch. “I don’t know what he even wanted with me in the first place. I’m too far gone— broken, or something.”

“You’re not broken,” Wanda said softly, petting your head. “You’re just not ready, that’s all.”

But what if you were never ready?

Suddenly, Wanda spoke again. “Vis, could you make some tea?”

“Of course, darling,” Vision said as he floated through Wanda’s door. “Do feel better, (Y/N).”

You nodded and through him a weak smile, not trusting yourself not to break out into tears again.

Steve had tried to call Bucky on his way to his apartment. He needed to talk to someone, tell someone what had happened. But Bucky never answered, so Steve was left to deal with this alone.

He unlocked his apartment door and stumbled inside, flicking on the light.

He heard a loud chorus of “surprise!” and the sound of a champagne bottle popping open. Steve looked around to see his friends gathered around the apartment, with party decorations and food and drinks.

Steve met Bucky’s eyes, and immediately Bucky’s eyes widened. He knew what had happened. He could read Steve like a book, and somehow Steve was grateful for that now. He would never have to tell him.

Slowly, the realization dawned over the room as they stared at Steve— alone, disheveled, eyes red from crying.

Natasha held the champagne bottle awkwardly in her hand. “What... what-“

“She said no,” Steve grumbled harshly. He stumbled past his friends and toward his bedroom. “Goodnight, everyone.”

He slammed the door to his room and felt the pain wash over him again.

You lied in your bed, staring up at the ceiling as waves of memories intruded your mind.

Steve always opened doors for you. Always, without fail. I know you can open your own doors, I’m just trying to be a gentleman.

And he handed you his jacket whenever you shivered. You never even asked for it. He would just wordlessly drape it over your shoulders, even when he was cold, too. It doesn’t matter if I’m cold, I’d rather have you be warm.

The way he talked about his friends like they were family. The way his blue eyes lit up when he saw you. The way his smiles seemed to be made just for you.

You loved Steve Rogers— hopelessly, effortlessly, always— so you had to protect him.

He didn’t know he was signing his life away to the will of your baggage. You knew how heavy that burden was.

You couldn’t let him carry it.

It had been a week. Steve’s finger had lingered over your number in his phone for days, too afraid to actually dial. He turned off his phone again as Natasha carried a box of Christmas lights past him.

It didn’t seem right— decorating the tower for Christmas without you here. Hanging the lights was your job.

Tony was doing it this year. But he didn’t hum as he strung them up. He didn’t smile when the lights came on.

He just stood joylessly on the ladder as he fiddled with the strings.

Natasha sighed and patted Steve on the shoulder when she noticed him sulking. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Maybe she’ll change her mind,” Bucky grumbled.

Steve looked at him quizzically. “You think?”

“Look, Cap,” Tony said from the ladder, “you can just find a new girlfriend. Easy peasy.”

“Excuse me?” Steve growled.

Tony smirked. “She was out of her mind anyway.”

“Watch your mouth, Stark,” Steve hissed as he jumped out of his chair. “(Y/N) isn’t crazy, and you don’t get to talk about her like that.”

He felt Bucky grab his shoulder. “Steve-“

“I’m fine,” he huffed, knowing he was far from fine. “(Y/N) wasn’t crazy. She was perfect. She is perfect.”

“I know,” Bucky whispered, patting him on the shoulder. But maybe you should move on.

Steve didn’t want to move on. Not ever. Not from you, and if he had to spend another seventy years fixing whatever it is that had happened between you, that’s what he’d do.

You were wrapped up in blankets on the couch, eyes red and sore from crying as you watched another sad movie.

You had barely moved in days. Losing Steve was like losing a part of yourself. No matter how good your reasons, no matter how far you distanced yourself from the pain of it all, it still hurt— always, always, always.

Steve Rogers was the best part of your life, and now he was gone. You knew that pain would never dull.

Your mind told you not to regret the decision. You were protecting him. He’d be better off without you.

But your heart was a traitor and missed Steve with every beat.

A knock sounded at the door. You got up to go get it, thinking Wanda had forgotten her key again.

Instead, you were faced with Steve, who looked just as horrible and heartbroken as you did.

His blue eyes met yours. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you responded weakly, feeling like you were about to curl up and die. “What are you-“

“What did I do?” he asked, eyes pleading. “(Y/N), I’m struggling here, because I just don’t know what I did wrong, and... just... what did I do?”

He thought it was his fault.

Your heart sank. “You didn’t do anything.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “Then what happened?”

“You’re too good for me,” you whispered suddenly, tears flooding your face. “And you deserve better than me.”

“(Y/N), that’s not true-“

“It is.” You took a step away from the door, away from him. “It is. I’m messed up, Steve, and you and I both know it.”

“Don’t say that!” he said, stepping into the apartment. “If you’re not gonna marry me, that’s fine, but don’t you dare say it’s because you’re not good enough!”

“But I’m not!” you cried. “You deserve somebody better than me! You deserve somebody who won’t pull away when you want to dance! Somebody who isn’t gonna run away and leave you on that landing! Somebody who will say yes to you without hesitation, who isn’t afraid to love you! And I am not that person!”

“I don’t want that person!” he yelled back, eyes softening. “All I want is you. Isn’t that enough?”

Tears ran down your face and Steve wiped them away, pulling you into his embrace.

“Do you promise?” you whispered hoarsely through a sob. “Do you promise that I’m enough?”

“Always have been, always will be,” he whispered, smiling down at you softly. “And... if you’re not ready for marriage, we’ll wait. I’ll wait.”

You knew it then, that you wanted to marry Steve Rogers. With every fiber of your being, you loved him.

That night, you found the ring in his pocket and slipped it onto your finger. It was sized perfectly, as if it were meant to be there. You had no doubt in your mind that you and Steve were a perfect fit as well.

There would always be days when your mind got the better of you. Steve may have not been able to change that, but it was a little easier to carry the burden of your own darkness when Steve’s light was right there beside you.

Love was enough, and you had enough love for him to last forever.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Shuu Route ー Chapter 4

Monologue

Afterwardsーー

We were genuinely gifted,

many props to decorate the party venue,

by Aji-san,

who had been deeply moved by the Ghost Flower.

We were also able to get information from the gondolier

on how to set up the gondola

to resemble the way it looked when Riegel-san and his wife met,

in an attempt to please him,

as much as possible.

And then...

ー The scene starts at the Rubin Canal

Yui: ( Phew...I guess we’re about halfway done with the decorations. )

Shuu-san, what do you think...?

Shuu: Looks fine to me. Not bad.

ー The gondolier runs up to them

Gondolier B: Ooh, what a surprise! These decorations are identical to those from the past. For a second, I thought I had gone back in time...

ーー Oh. Whoops, silly me.

The owner of the sweets shop came to the docks. He’s looking for you two.

Yui: Yes!

ー The scene shifts to the docks

Sweets shop owner: ーー Aah! There you are!

Yui: Good evening.

Sweets shop owner: Save those formalities for later! More importantly, take a look at this!

Here’s your order.

*Thud*

Yui: Waah! Looks delicious...!

Sweets shop owner: I think it turned out excellent, if I may say so myself. Will this do?

Yui: Of course! Thank you so much!

Sweets shop owner: Aah, I’m glad!

I should probably head back to my shop then.

Aah, so busy, so busy!

ー The sweets shop owner leaves

Shuu: ...His lack of composure is a huge flaw, but I can’t deny his skill.

Yui: ( I’m sure Riegel-san will be pleased with this as well, right? )

ーー Well then, we should probably make a quick stop at the hotel then. We have to get ready as well.

ー The scene shifts to the main street

Yui: ( Okay, everything is going smoothly so far...! )

( Ah...But there’s one more thing to do before we return to the hotel... )

Shuu-san. Is there a shop where we could borrow some clothes around here?

It’s a party, so I figured I should probably prepare a dress.

Shuu: ...Hmm.

This way then.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hotel room

Yui: ( I guess most of the preparations are done... )

Shuu: The Familiars will arrange a picture of Riegel-san’s wife to put inside the pendant.

They should bring it to us before the party starts.

Yui: Thank you very much.

I guess we should start getting ready too then.

You can go ahead and take a bath first. I’ll go through the list one more time to confirm we’ve got everything.

Shuu: Nn...

ー Shuu leaves for the bathroom

Yui: ( Okay... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( ...Yeah. There’s nothing we overlooked. )

( Now we just have to wait for the party to start. )

( I hope Riegel-san will like it... )

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: Ah...

( It’s one of Shuu-san’s Familiars. They’re holding the photograph... )

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: Thanks!

*Flip*

Yui: ( So this is Riegel-san’s wife. What a beautiful person with such a lovely smile. )

( That’s a younger Riegel-san standing next to her, right? )

( The two of them really did look happy together. )

( That’s why...I feel sad thinking about how much emotional pain Riegel-san has to go through right now... )

( We have to make this party a success at all costs! )

ー Shuu enters the room

Shuu: Hm...Oh? The Familiar’s back already?

Yui: Yes. They brought this pictuーー

Wah!?

S-Shuu-san, your clothes...

Shuu: I just got out of the bath so what did you expect?

Yui: A-Anyway, hurry up and put something on!

Shuu: Good grief, what are you so flustered about still...?

ー Shuu walks towards the wardrobe

Yui: ( That shocked me...! )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: This is Riegel-san’s wife.

Shuu: Hm...

Yui: I...Seeing them standing next to each other, I thought to myself once more.

I want to make this party a success. I want to lessen his pain even just a little...

I want to do anything within my power.

Shuu: ...Anything, huh?

But haven’t you forgotten how we ended up in this situation in the first place?

It’s not like we were trying to help Riegel from the very beginning.

We approached him in hopes of getting information on the Count and find a way to retrieve your heart.

Yui: That’s...true but...

Even so, I can’t just leave him in the cold...!

Shuu: ...Why not?

ー He steps closer

Yui: ( Shuu-san...? )

Shuu: You’re awfully persistent about helping him out.

Did you fall for him or something?

Yui: ...!? T-That’s not it!

Shuu: I wonder? Then who is it you like?

Yui: W-Well...

ーー You, Shuu-san. You’re the only one I love.

Shuu: Heeh...

Yui: ( Uu, this is kind of embarrassing... )

A-And you...? Who do you like?

Shuu: Go ahead and think about that question a bit. If Iーー

*Thud*

Shuu: Pin you down on the bed like this, I guess the answer should become a little clear?

ーー Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: Ah...!

Shuu: Once the party starts, you’ll take on the appearance of Riegel’s wife for a while, right?

So keep still and let me have my fun nowーー

Yui: ( ...Shuu-san... )

Monologue

And then,

it was finally time for the party to start.

Together with Shuu-san,

the two of us once again,

headed towards the candy house where Riegel-san lives.

Before knocking on the door,

I put the picture of Riegel-san’s wife,

inside the pendant hanging from my neck.

And voila ーー

Yui: ( ...This feels kind of odd. Like I’m no longer myself. )

Um...How do I look?

Shuu: On the outside, you’re a split image of the woman in the picture. But...

Yui: ( ...? I wonder what’s wrong? )

Shuu: Your little quirks when you’re lost in thought are still the same as usual. You haven’t changed on the inside.

Well then, guess we should get going soon.

Yui: Y-Yes!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the candy house

Shuu: Riegel should be even more wary now of potential humans trying to visit him.

So it’d probably be best if I greet him first.

Yui: I’m counting on you.

Shuu: Yeah...

*Knock knock*

Shuu: Riegel. It’s me.

*Knock knock*

Shuu: I’ve decided to hold a party for you today.

Riegel: ...A party?

Shuu: Yeah, exactly. A party.

Riegel: I’m not taking part in such a thing. Just do as you please without me.

Shuu: ...I don’t mind either way, really.

But there’s a little guest for you.

I’m sure it’s someone you’d kill forーー

*Thud*

Riegel: Aah! Could it be!?

Yui: ( Riegel-san... )

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah! H-He embraced me... )

Riegel: Marian! Aah, Marian!!

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Shuu-san walked away... )

Riegel: I missed you...! I’ve wanted to see you again so badly, Marian! This whole time, ever since that day... 

Yui: W-Wait. I’mーー

Riegel: You finally returned to my side, didn’t you? Aah, I’m so glad...

Yui: ( He totally thinks...I’m his actual wife, doesn’t he? )

ー The scene fades to black

Yui: ( But I’m not. )

( ...Shuu-san knew this would happen, hence why he was so reluctant to using the pendant... )

( Yet, I... )

...Ugh.

ー The scene shifts to the Rubin Canal

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Shuu-san’s napping in the corner, huh...? )

Riegel: ...Aah...Well if it isn’t the place where we first met!

If I recall correctly...I fell for you at first sight.

Meanwhile you were rather frightened of me at first.

However...After our feelings became mutual, you let me in on your secret, didn’t you?

That back then, it was love at first sight for you as well.

You remember, don’t you? There’s no way you could ever forget.

Yui: ...

Riegel: Fufu...Aah, anyway, this food is amazing.

This cake in particular...It’s delicious.

You should give it a try as well.

Yui: Eh? Sure...

( What should I do? I have to tell him the truth... )

Riegel: What’s wrong? Do you feel sick?

Yui: No...It’s...

There’s something I have to tell you.

I’m sorry. I...I’m not the real Marian.

Riegel: ...

Yui: This pendant around my neck holds a mysterious power, and that’s how...

Riegel: ...

Yui: I’m sorry...

Shuu: ...Good grief...

ー Shuu walks up to them

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Riegel: ...

...I don’t mind.

Yui: Eh?

Riegel: I don’t sweat the details.

I knew from the very start. That you were just a fake.

The dead won’t come back to life. I know that much.

...That’s exactly why.

Because I know that death is permanent...

I want to at least...Hold onto you while you look just like my wife.

Forever!

ー Riegel grabs hold of Yui

Yui: Kyaah!

Shuu: Wha...!?

ー The scene shifts to Aizen Alley

Riegel: Haah, haah, haah...!

Yui: R-Riegel-san! Please, let go of my hand...

Riegel: No! If I do that, you’ll leave me! I’m sick and tired of being all alone...!

Yui: ( What on earth should Iーー )

*Woosh*

Yui: Ah...!

( I-I can’t breathe...!? )

*Woosh*

Riegel: O-Oi! What’s wrong!?

*Woosh*

Yui: ( My heart...The Kleinod...It’s at its limit already... )

Shuu: Oi!

ー Shuu runs up to them

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Shuu: ...Finally found you. Enough of this vain struggle.

Let go of her.

Riegel: I won’t. I’m not letting go of Marian!

Shuu: Then I’ll force you. She’s mine.

Besides...Her heart won’t last much longer.

I don’t have the time to play along with your elopement act right now.

You know better than anyone how much it hurts to lose the woman you love, don’t you!?

Riegel: ...

Iーー

*Woosh*

Yui: Aah...!

Shuu: Yui!

Riegel: ...Ugh!

Yui: ( I...can’t...no more... )

Monologue

As my eyelids gradually grow heavier,

my body somehow becomes light.

It feels as if I am floating mid-air

Seeping through the darkness,

a light shines upon me.

Somebody is standing at the other side.

I can’t see their face because of the reflection,

but the person I treasure more than anyone,

is holding out their hand towards me.

I want toーー grab hold of it.

I can’t stand being separated,

not even for a single second.

While writhing around in the darkness,

I continued to extend my hand straight forward.

And then...

ー Yui wakes up inside of Riegel’s house

Yui: ( ...Where am I...? )

Shuu: You’re awake...?

Yui: Shuu-san...

Shuu: ...Don’t make me worry too much.

Yui: I’m sorry...

Um...What happened to me afterwards...?

Shuu: Youーー

ー A flashback ensues

Shuu: Hang in there!

Yui: ...

Shuu: Oi, Riegel.

Riegel: W-What...What should I do...!?

Shuu: Riegel! Calm down.

Can you tell me everything you know about this Count?

I’m begging you.

Riegel: Shuu...

...I’m sorry...It’s true that the two of us were close in the past.

But I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that his manor’s security is impregnable.

He would never talk about himself after all...

Shuu: ...Ugh.

Riegel: I’m sorry...I truly am...

Shuu: ...Fuck...I...

Yui: ...Uu...

Shuu: ...!

It’s too early to give up just yet. The Kleinod is still moving!

ー The flashback ends

Shuu: ーー Then we carried you here afterwards. Your condition gradually became more stable after all.

Yui: So that happened...

*Thud*

Riegel: ...

Yui: Riegel-san...

Riegel: ...My bad.

This happened because I lost sight of myself...

Yui: No. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.

Riegel: Oh no...I felt so happy I was able to see Marian again, even for just a split second. From the bottom of my heart...

That’s why I didn’t want to let go of her.

But...Then I realized that was wrong of me.

Because Marian would never approve of hurting someone else like that.

I’m sure she’s scolding me right now in the afterlife.

Besides...

Even if she’s not next to me, she remains within my heart forever. I finally realized that.

Yui: Riegel-san...

Riegel: I’ll help you two out to retrieve your heart.

???: That won’t be necessary.

Shuu: ...!?

Yui: This voice...It can’t be...

Riegel: Walter!

Count Walter: Hello there! It has been a while, hasn’t it? Riegel. And...You as well, young lady.

Yui: Y-You’re...Count Walter!?

Count Walter: The one and only.

Shuu: ...So? Now this is quite the nifty show you’ve put together, approaching us yourself like this.

Not that I care. I guess this saves us a lot of trouble.

I’ll make sure you return her heart at once.

Count Walter: ーー Of course. That is what I came here for after all.

Yui: W-What do you mean?

Count Walter: Fufufu...

ーー You see. I have been watching you to observe your behavior after you lost your heart.

To test whether or not you two are fit to hold onto one of the treasures of this world...That is.

Yui: ( I-I see... )

Count Walter: And the answer became clear just now.

You chose not to abandon this man who had been stricken with grief, but instead tried to bring the light back in his life.

Wonderful!

Thereforeーー

*Ba-dump*

Yui: Ah...!?

*Ba-dump ・ ba-dump*

Shuu: Yui!

Yui: Shuu...san...

( ...Huh...? )

( My body feels light. And warm...? )

Shuu: Are you okay!? Hang in there!

Yui: Ah...I-I’m fine.

If anything...It seems like I’ve got my heart back!

Shuu: ....What on earth...? 

Walter: Fufu...

Well then. I will excuse myself now.

ーー Thank you for the great show.

ー The Count disappears

Monologue

Leaving said words behind,

Count Walter vanished into thin air.

Looking off to the side,

I locked eyes with Shuu-san,

as we somehow both forced a smile.

As for Riegel-san,

he seemed to have completely,

regained his sanity.

After he told us that the least we could do,

was enjoy the remainder of the Parade,

Shuu-san and I,

left the candy house behind us.

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: ( Seems like the Parade hasn’t ended yet! )

( A bunch of things happened, but I’m glad we made it in time... )

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( ...Oh. Maybe I’m the only one getting excited now. I’m sure Shuu-san must be exhausted. )

Um...

Shuu: Nn?

Yui: We’ve been running all over the place, so shall we call it a day and head home?

We can always come to the Parade next yeーー

Yui: ...?

Shuu: Let’s go.

Yui: Eh...?

Shuu: Let’s go to the Parade.

Yui: Are you sure...?

Shuu: What are you saying when you’ve got ‘I want to go!’ written all over your face?

Yui: T-That’s...I would like to go, but...

I’m sure you’re tired, so I want you to be able to get some rest soon...

Shuu: ...Well, I’m pretty much always lacking energy.

I don’t mind making an effort at a time like this.

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...What?

Selection

→ Nothing

Yui: Nothing. Fufu...

Shuu: Look at you talk when you’ve got that grin on your face. Heh...

Yui: ( I’m just so happy, I can’t help it... )

→ Thank him with a kiss (☾)

Yui: Um...Shuu-san?

Shuu: Yeーー

*Smooch*

Shuu: Wha...!?

Yui: You know...To show my gratitude.

( I did it on the spur of the moment, but I’m kind of embarrassed now... )

Shuu: You...Honestly...

Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( ...! This time he kissed me... )

Shuu: ーー Come on. Let’s go to the Parade before I change my mind.

ー Shuu walks away

Yui: Ah, w-wait!

( I’m happy he’s so kind to me... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 3

→ PROCEED TO NORMAL ENDING

→ PROCEED TO FINALE ENDING

[let-them-read-fics]

Saranghae

Requested by Anon: “Can i make a request for Blackpink RoséXFem!reader one shot/imagine where y/n always thought she was the one that said I love you first but she realizes rosé said it in korean when y/n was first learning it the first few months they were dating. like rosé says it and y/n is like wait what does that mean? and rosé teases her and doesn't say anything (holy crap this is long, sorry. i hope that makes sense. I asked someone else if they can write it but I dont think they're going to) thank you very much if you do🥺❤️”

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 2,300

Warnings / Misc. -- Fluff, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: To the anon who requested this: Thank you! This is actually a really sweet ask, so hopefully I did it justice. I stuck with the gist of the prompt, but I added a little twist to it. I hope you enjoy; let me know what you think. Happy reading, everyone!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

~~~ Flashback: A Few Months Into Your Relationship ~~~

“Baby, come grab the door, please!” You request, your hands busy holding the two steaming cups of hot cocoa you prepared for Rosé and yourself. At the sound of your voice, she sets down the notebook that she had been writing in, and makes her way to you. She appears in the doorway with a wide smile, her face lighting up when she spots the drinks. 

“How’d you know I wanted some?” She takes her mug from you, being careful not to move too quickly and spill it, and lays a kiss on your cheek -- her way of thanking you.

With a nonchalant shrug, you make your way across the room, saying over your shoulder, “It’s my superpower, duh. We’re just in sync like that.” The giggle that leaves her lips makes your heart flutter, and you can’t help but smile back.

Now armed with your beverages, the two of you sit back down on the floor next to each other, getting prepared for your mini lesson. The fluffy material of the carpet comforts you, and you settle in.

~~~~~~~

Rosé repeats the phrase one more time, slowing it down for you, enunciating the words as clearly as she can. Your gaze is set on her lips, taking note of how they purse and pout with the different syllables. You try again, albeit incredibly slow and choppy, but eventually the words manage to come out intelligible. She celebrates the win, quickly standing and pulling you up along with her for a victory dance; after all, it was a pretty tricky phrase for someone just starting out. She knows how competent you are though, and she wanted to give you a challenge. 

As the two of you stand there, doing a little dorky jig together, she takes a second to think. She is totally smitten with you: these past few months have been some of the happiest times of her life, and she owes a lot of that to you. There’s no one she’d rather have by her side like this, staying up well into the night to teach Korean to. She loves that you’re eager to learn more, and she’s ecstatic to be the one that gets to help you on that journey. It really is a special thing to her, and she doesn’t take it for granted. Time spent with you is heaven, regardless of what the two of you are doing. 

Rosé is pulled from her thoughts by the quiet sound of you yawning. Her heart nearly melts at the sight of your face all scrunched up, paired with the little wiggle that you do. She pulls you in, smiling as you nuzzle your face into her neck sleepily. “Rosé, I’d love to keep practicing, but I’m about to pass out.” Her hand comes up to run through your hair, the other one wrapped around your body to keep you close. “We should be going to bed anyway, babe. We can pick back up tomorrow, if you’d like.” She kisses your forehead tenderly as you just simply nod, your body too tired and brain too fried to do much of anything else. 

Once she’s tucked you in, making sure you’re comfortable and warm, she crouches down next to the bed. The lights are dimmed now, the only source of illumination being the moonlight that glitters in through the blinds, kissing your skin just right. Sitting there, face to face with you, she realizes that you’re her person. The one that she wants to wake up next to every morning and fall asleep wrapped around every night; the one to go on late night drives through the city with, stopping wherever your hearts desire; the one to hold through the bad times and comfort through the sad. You mean the world to her, and she can’t help but declare it.  

“사랑해, Y/N.” 

Despite only being half conscious, you’d never ignore the sound of her voice. “Mmm?” You mumble groggily, the noise making her laugh. She makes a mental note to add that to her list of favorite sounds. “Nothing, angel. Rest now.” With that, she goes to stand, but you catch her wrist before she can go. “No, tell me. Pleaaase?” Your eyes are open now, but just enough for her to see that beautiful sparkle in them. “Tomorrow. Now shhhh.” She leans down, placing a hand on your cheek to caress it, as she presses her lips to yours in an attempt to silence you. Her plan works, and she gives you a few more pecks before going to pick up and organize the books that were still strewn about on the floor. Not even a minute later, the sounds of your soft snores carry over to her ears, and she just shakes her head in amusement. 

~~~ The Next Day ~~~

“Alright, ready baby?”

“Do your worst.”

“Next up is… 사랑해.” Her eyes hold a hint of mischief, and you furrow your brow as you try to place where you’ve heard that. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Have you said this one before? It sounds familiar…” Now, deeply confused, you rack your brain. She plays innocent, though, having no intention of bringing up what happened the night before. With you being none the wiser, she’s content with teasing you for now. 

“Oh, that’s gonna drive me insane. Roseanne! What does it mean?” She chuckles at your frustration and use of her full name, but she doesn’t give in. Clearly, she gets a kick out of this. 

“Just start guessing, babe.”

~~~ Present Day, At The Blackpink Dorm ~~~

“Guys, I have the perfect game for tonight! Somebody was talking about it at the studio today: it’s called the Newlywed Game. I wanna see how well the lovebirds can do.” Lisa informs as she walks through the front door of the dorm, making her way into the living room where you and the girls are sitting. 

“Oh you’re on, Manoban. I know Rosé like the back of my own hand.” A smug expression takes over your features as you smirk at Lisa, standing up and playfully challenging her. 

“Oh yeah? Jennie and I are so gonna beat you.” She matches your energy, coming eye to eye with you, and she struggles to mask her grin. With the way she’s moving her lips to hide it, she kinda looks like a fish. 

Jisoo is next to speak as she goes to stand between the two of you, pretending to hold you back. “Hey, hey, break it up. Save it for the game.” Lisa sticks her tongue out at you, which prompts you to brush past Jisoo and tackle her onto the sofa. Jennie shouts, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” And soon, all of you are piled together in a heap of fake punches and throws, laughing loudly. 

{....} The Game {....}

“It’s neck and neck as our couples head into the final round; whoever wins this, wins the game.” Jisoo announces to no one, gesturing and looking to imaginary cameras around the room. “Contestants, are you ready?” Everyone nods in affirmation, and you give Rosé’s hand a loving squeeze. 

“Who was the first to say, ‘I love you’?”

At the question, you look to Rosé with a cocky expression on your face, absolutely convinced that you’ve got it in the bag. She scribbles her answer down on the white board -- yes, surprisingly, the girls had a few of them laying around the dorm -- and looks up at you with a smile. 

“Reveal your answers in 3...2...1…” Jisoo calls out in her best host voice, successfully creating suspense as she holds onto the numbers, dragging the count down out. 

“Now!”

Everyone flips their board around, and it seems as though time stops for a moment. Lisa and Jennie have the same answer, and you look to see what Rosé put -- despite being confident that you already know. Your jaw nearly drops to the floor as you read her name on the board.

“WHAT??” You exclaim, utter disbelief coursing through you: your whole life is a lie, it’s official. The other team is cackling by now, and you send them a mocking smile. 

Eyes now focused back on your partner, you say, “I totally said it first. Remember, that night after dinner with your parents back in Melbourne?” You hope something will click at that, her memory magically being jogged. Alas, that never happens. Everyone gets comfortable on the couches in preparation for the story she’s about to tell.  

“We hadn’t been dating super long, but it was when I was teaching you Korean back at your place. We cut the lesson short because you got sleepy, so I put you to bed. I couldn’t help myself though; you just looked so cute all cuddled up like that. I hadn’t expected for you to actually hear me, since I thought you had already passed out, but you asked me to tell you what it meant. I was stubborn and didn’t, of course,” You narrow your eyes at her, ready to stick up for your past self, but your heart secretly soars at how precious that story is.

“I love you, a lot, Rosé; but I hardly think that that counts, considering I was practically unconscious,” you say, putting emphasis on the word. The inner gamer in you is on full display, and you’re not ready to admit defeat yet. 

“Nope, we won, fair and square.” Lisa declares, exaggeratedly tossing her hair over her shoulder. You look to Jisoo, hands clasped together, eyes pleading, but she hands the victory to the other team. 

With a roll of your eyes, you tut at the loss; in no time, though, the feeling of Rosé’s arms snaking around you has you abandoning your little pity party, opting instead to smile at her. You pull her in for a kiss -- there’s no one you’d rather lose with, after all. Her lips turn up in a smile, and you can taste the cherry gloss on them. Eventually, the two of you decide to spare the others from your love-fest, and pull away. You keep an arm around her, your other hand busy being held by hers, and she lays her head on your shoulder. 

The playful atmosphere still stands, and Jennie goes to rub it in. “How’s it feel to lose, Y/N?” 

Dramatically, you look off into the distance, pretending to be in deep thought, before looking down at Rosé, and say, “With you, I can never lose; you’re the greatest prize I could ever ask for, Rosé.” The other girls let out a chorus of boos at your cheesy line, and Rosé lets out a little squeal as she scrambles to hide her blushing cheeks. With each laugh that she lets out, her body shakes against you, and you laugh right along with her. 

“Have I told you how adorable you are?” She asks, gazing up at you through her lashes. 

You purse your lips at her own cheesiness, and say, “Once or twice, I think. But tell me again.” 

Over the course of the night, she does just that -- multiple times, might I add -- and the 5 of you revel in each other’s company. Given their busy schedules, the opportunity to spend multiple hours with each other can be pretty rare; so, all of you thoroughly take advantage of the night. Karaoke sessions, Netflix binges, dance battles, food breaks, tickle fights -- anything you can think of, you guys probably did it. 

As things wind down, everyone is nodding off, and you take that as your cue to go. You remove your arms from their position around Rosé, the action drawing a whine from her, and you lay her back against the couch so that you can bid the girls goodnight.

“Sweet dreams, Y/N.” Jisoo says, voice laced with exhaustion, as she flips the small pillow in front of her over to the cool side. 

“Night, loser.” Lisa’s grin can be heard through her words, and you lightly smack her as you go by.

“Sleep well, Y/N. We love you.” Jennie is the most awake of any of them, and she reaches up to give you a hug. 

“Goodnight guys, we’ll see you in the morning.” Arms are thrown up into the air as a sign of acknowledgement to your statement, and you make your way back to Rosé.

She’s curled up against the side of the sofa, her hair falling gracefully over the armrest. Not having the heart to wake her up, you opt to scoop her up into your arms, smiling as she drapes hers around your neck. Her skin is warm against your own, and you take comfort in the feeling. Somehow she always manages to be so, so perfect, without even trying. As you make the journey back to her room, you’re careful to not bump into anything. She shifts a bit in your arms, and your heart nearly stops when she lazily mumbles your name in her sleep, a cute smirk on her lips. Nothing feels better than this.

Now in her bedroom, you slowly lean against the door until it shuts, and the soft sound of it latching behind you echoes across the silent space. You lay her down and pull the sheets up on her -- just as she had done that day, all those months ago -- and press a kiss to her cheek. “사랑해, Rosé.” As you climb into bed next to her, she rolls over to face you. A small smile plays on her beautiful lips as she says, “I heard that; I love you, too, baby.” A content sigh leaves your lips as you beam at her and pull her into your embrace. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Thanks for reading!!!

[youalexturnermeon]

Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt. 4 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon

A/N: This is the fourth and final part of the request in which I really got too carried away. Anyways, I hope you are happy with the outcome. Enjoy

Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, angst, fluff, suggestive writing

Wordcount: 2722

“I’m sorry it’s so messy” Johnny said apologetically when he opened the door to his apartment for you and you curiously took a peek inside “Like I said before, my life isn’t that great right now. But since I finally got you over here which I thought would never happen because you’re such a hard nut to crack, it is actually not too bad. I’m glad you’re here.”

You laughed when he grinned at you, you could clearly see that he was getting better or maybe it was just the booze kicking in turning the switch from sad drunk to happy.

“Don’t get too comfortable with me being around. I won’t stay long.”

“But that also means that you’re staying for at least little a while.” Johnny said and heavily sat down on the couch patting the place next to him inviting you to sit down too. You happily took that invitation.

“You got me there.”

You were exhausted. The night so far was pretty intense. You felt more worn out than after a busy shift at work. The worry about Johnny didn’t vanish, you still deeply cared about how he felt, and you wanted him to feel at least a little bit better. Additionally, the ride to his apartment was stressful. You had a few drinks; you hadn’t been behind a steering wheel for at least half a year and didn’t feel very safe driving. Your heart was beating like crazy when you were blankly focusing on the road, always looking out for cops, afraid you could get pulled over whilst Johnny was dozing off with his head on your shoulder. If you would’ve gotten pulled over, it would have been you turn spending the night in a cell. You didn’t want it to go this far. But after all, you managed and could finally relax. It felt good sitting close to him, so close that your knees were touching. You threw your head back and sighed.

“Do you want another drink, or something?” Johnny sloppily asked, eyeing you with a grin from ear to ear on his face “I don’t really have much to offer but I must have another bottle of Jackie somewhere.” He was about to stand up, but you carefully pushed him back into the sofa. He didn’t object, he liked your touch. Normally, you wouldn’t say no to that, but you decided that you and above all Johnny had enough for today. Especially Johnny. You didn’t know how much he drank today but it was a lot, enough to have you laying in corner passed out for hours. And you were wondering how on earth he still managed to walk, although not steadily, and talk without slurring.

“I’m good,” you answered, “And you should probably take a break, too.”

Johnny laughed and rolled his bright blue eyes which were glistening again, showing a sign of life “C’mon, (Y/N), please don’t tell me I brought my mom home.”

“I just don’t like people who can’t link two words together anymore because they had one too many.

“So, you want to talk then?”

You shrugged; you did

“Is it Christmas already? Not only the girl of my dreams is finally sitting next to me in my apartment, but she also is finally willing to talk to me for real, after months of trying to get her to do that. Without cussing me out and no sarcastic remarks no matter what I say?”

“I can’t promise that, but yeah, basically.”

“Are you finally going to tell me something about yourself?”

You were afraid that day would come when you would have to talk about yourself to Johnny, and you sighed deeply, closing your eyes.

“That hard to do that, huh?” Johnny nudged you trying to catch your glance but your eyes remained shut. You shook your head and chuckled.

“No, it’s just, you basically know everything about me there is to know.”

“No way!”

“I swear!” “So barkeeper, slight anger issues, big mouth, living in an overpriced apartment with a crack-head…” “Next to,” you corrected him, “And he is fond of Meth rather than crack.”

“Alright, so next to a meth-head and no driver’s license anymore because of DUI a couple of months ago is really all there is to know about you?”

“Maybe if you change the anger issues with a slight drinking problem, yeah, I guess so,” you said, and it was true, trying hard not to show how much it meant to you that he remembered all the little things you let slip out over a long period of time that he spent bugging you “I’m very boring. But you know, that only means that I already opened up to you without you even noticing.” “I am absolutely honoured. But come on, you’re not boring, you’re great and there must be more to you.”

You shook your head, you hated to disappoint him, but you couldn’t think of anything more that could’ve been of interest to him.

“Besides, you promised me to tell everything about your Karate!” you blurted out as if you forgot everything, he told you today at the bar. And you instantly regretted it. He literally poured his heart out about how Karate was ruining his life. Maybe you should’ve told him that you were also the most tactless person on earth, that would’ve prepared him for unnecessary remarks and helped him to ignore your stupidity. For a second you thought, Johnny would have another nervous breakdown just like an hour ago sitting by the counter, starting the whole drama once again. Yet, surprisingly he didn’t as if he had forgotten it just like you. There was a chance you were imagining it but you though he had brightened up even more. You relaxed and you allowed the breath that you were holding since the moment the words escaped your lips, to flow again.

“What do you want to know?” Johnny asked sitting up more straight looking at you in anticipation.

“Everything.”

“That’s gonna be long but I guess I don’t mind because that only means you’re staying longer with me. And before I start, give me one more fact about you!”

“There’s nothing.” “C’mon just one more, otherwise I’m not talking!”

“Alright,” you stood up, confidentially walking over to his kitchen sink and getting yourself and him a glass of water. To hydrate and most importantly to sober him up a little and ease his upcoming hangover. You leaned against the kitchen counter and looked into the air thinking.

“I’m waiting (Y/N).”

“So one more thing about me that kinda got everything else you know rolling is that I had an abusive boyfriend whom I escaped by moving into my luxurious apartment which meant that I needed a new job. The new job was at the bar. End of my whole life story.”

“I’ll kill that freak if I ever get the chance to meet him.” Johnny exclaimed and sounded a little too serious. But you just laughed it off.

“Which finally leads us to your Karate, since I expect you to kill him with a badass Karate kick?”

Johnny nodded and started his story as soon as you sat back down.

He was talking a lot and you were happy he did because you weren’t much of a talker you rather listened. And Johnny was glad somebody was interested. And to be fair, his life was a lot more interesting than yours. You laid your head on his shoulder and just carefully followed everything he said while he nestled his cheek against you. Sometimes you asked questions and he was more than happy to answer. Everything felt natural. But after a while you noticed his voice getting raspier and quieter, he was speaking slowly struggling with finding his words. That’s when you knew that it was time to bring him to bed and to head home yourself. Softly you touched his arm and he stopped for a second.

“Hm?” he made, looking pretty confused with half-open eyes.

“You have to sleep now, Johnny.” you said smiling lazily, you were tired too. He didn’t answer, he just simply followed you when you got up and allowed yourself to give you a room tour. You opened the door to what you thought to be his bedroom and shushed him inside.

“Wow, already making yourself at home here,” he said, his voice almost a whisper “I like that.”

“Shut up, Sensei! And get into bed.”

He obeyed and lied down fully clothed, on his face a big dirty grin that you knew so well from almost every shift you ever worked, just his almost closed eyelids were different. This time you were the happiest to see it again.

“Are you getting in too, or what?” “Don’t max it out!” you said threateningly.

“Just joking.”

“You better. And now, before you drift away to dreamland, do you have a phone I can use?” “Don’t have a phone” he muttered and snuggled into his blanket.

“What?”, you gasped, “I need to call an Uber home!” You were miles away from your apartment.

“Don’t have one. Threw it away two weeks ago. You can crash here; the couch is all yours.”

And before you could object you suddenly heard flat breathing and you knew there was no other option. You sighed and took one last look at the passed-out Johnny.

“Can I at least have a shirt to sleep in?” you asked but that was pointless, he was already sound asleep. You shrugged to yourself, slipped out of your clothes and threw the first shirt you could grab over your underwear. That was not how you expected to spend the first night here, you thought when you tiptoed back to the couch, but it wasn’t too bad either.

___

When Johnny woke up the next morning the sun was already high up, it must’ve been at least mid-day. The most surprising thing wasn’t that he slept in or was finally being able to sleep at all, it was the fact that when he moved, he didn’t feel like shit. He expected to be hungover, after all he couldn’t even remember how much he drank, but he simply wasn’t, his head didn’t hurt, his joints weren’t cracking, he felt pretty much as always. This had not happened in a long time. He just was slightly dizzy as soon as he sat up in his bed. He looked down on himself, he was still wearing the dirty clothes from the night before and his face twitched into a slight grimace, he was disgusted with himself, he didn’t come home alone, and he didn’t want you to think badly of him now that he finally got you into at least liking him a bit. There was a warm feeling in his stomach when he was thinking about you, trying to remember every single detail about you from last night. And the possibility of you still being here, waiting for him to wake up, nearly made him crazy and his heart started beating faster. He would’ve been pretty bumped if you had left without saying goodbye. Yet, when he got out of bed, he noticed a pile of clothing that wasn’t his. Shorts, fishnets and a crop-top were carelessly thrown on the floor next to his bed and he gulped. That meant you were here. And if you were here, what were you wearing then?

Quickly he made his way to the living room where he expected you to be, not knowing what he would find. He tried to make as little noise as possible and as soon as he glanced over to the couch, he knew he made the right decision. Lying there, spread out on the couch, in deep sleep without a pillow or even a blanked, were you. And Johnny couldn’t help himself but stand still for a moment and watch you. You were wearing his Metallica shirt that was far too big for you and yet hugged all your curves. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you like that. The shirt had slid up and you were there, almost half-naked, just in front of him. He could’ve also been the luckiest man on earth that moment. For Johnny you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his entire life. You suddenly twitched in your sleep and turned over on your stomach showing your perfect ass to him. And it only got better.

Johnny shook his head and pulled himself together. You had done so much for him last night and you were continuing doing that without even realizing. He had to return that favour. And when he made that decision he rushed into the bathroom.

Never in his life was Johnny ever so quick in his actions. Whilst showering and shaving he feared to be taking too long, afraid of waking you and afraid that if he finally got out, you were long gone. But his fear was unjustified because when he rushed out, you were still on the couch, lying flat on your stomach breathing deeply and flinching in your sleep. And Johnny grinned, heart pounding too hard from excitement. He even fixed up a breakfast. And you still did not wake. You face was so peaceful and so pretty that he couldn’t stop himself from kneeling down and brushing back a loose strand of your hair from your face. The corners of your mouth twitched into a smile but suddenly you startled, eyes wide, hands clenched to fists, fists up, ready to protect yourself.

“Woah, easy there, tiger,” Johnny laughed “I see my Karate stories have stuck with you.”

Realizing it was Johnny hovering above your head you let your fists sink and stretched and yawned.  

“You smell nice,” you said smiling sleepily, ignoring what he was saying. You lifted your hand and softly stroked his cheek, Johnny leaning into your touch, “And you shaved. Fucking hell, you look good. And I probably look like shit.”

You covered your face with your hands and tried to turn away from Johnny who couldn’t take his eyes of you. He immediately grabbed you by the wrists, stopping you from turning your back, carefully pulling you back to him.

“Quiet, (Y/N),” he exclaimed which made you almost flinched, he was so dominant out of a sudden, “You are beautiful! And I could really get used to that.”

“Get used to what? Me illegally driving your drunk ass home, you passing out and me involuntarily crashing on your couch for approximately 10 hours?”

“I don’t like the way you put it.” Johnny said, still holding your wrists tightly, his face so close that his nose was almost touching yours.

“I could also get used to that,” you admitted and that was everything Johnny needed to hear. His lips came crashing down on yours and he was kissing you hard. He released your wrists from his hands only to hug your small waist while your kiss got deeper and more intimate, Johnny’s heart was pounding, he’s been waiting for that for months. You couldn’t help yourself but smile into the kiss. But you were never willing to admit that you too pictured kissing him all the damn time. Johnny pulled you even closer to him, pressing you onto his chest. When he parted his lips from yours, he was placing small kisses along your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, he couldn’t get enough of you. You were so stunning to him and you were making him crazy. Out of a sudden Johnny dragged you up onto his lap, so you were promptly straddling him, his fingers tracing down your bare thighs.

“Jesus Christ.”, you gasped, eyes closed, enjoying every single one of his touches.

“What?”, Johnny asked smirking, he was not willing to stop anymore.

“Maybe next time, I just take the bed instead of the couch as well.”

“Why don’t we try it out right now?”

Out of habit you wanted to object but Johnny already had picked you up with your legs wrapped around his hips, making the way back into the bedroom. He finally got what he wanted and you too, couldn’t be happier yourself.

You passionately kissed his lips again, “Everything you want, Sensei!”

Johnny could really get used to this.

**************************************************

Wow, look at that, it’s finally over

Thanks for reading that

Let me know what you think

Taglist: @lililolli​ @cow-smells​ (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)

[wyn-n-tonic]

The more I learn about Elizabeth Miller, the more I fall in love with her!!!! Please tell us more about her and her life? ❤️

Elizabeth Adele Miller was born four years after Will. Her parents were done. D O N E . They had their boy, a decent age gap to where he could somewhat take care of himself and then they had their girl. And then SURPRISE, Benjamin Miller comes into the picture eleven months later.

She has a typical brother-sister relationship with Will where he just wants to protect her. But Benny? That's her best friend. Her commandant. Her partner in crime. Ben's parents skipped him from kindergarten and they started first grade together. Nobody really understood how they were siblings but not twins because, ya know, math is hard for five and six year olds.

They originally put Benny and Lizzy in different classes but they raised so much hell, they had to be put into the same one.

She played soccer and was gangly as hell until she hit puberty and suddenly people were paying attention to her. She went from being somebody boys didn't pay any attention to at all to being somebody people were only interested in sexually. Benny became very protective, as did Will. Will taught her how to throw a decent punch because, "I won't be around forever."

She cried at his graduation because that meant he was going off to basic and she hated that but at least she still had Benny.

People thought her closeness to her family was weird, Benny was like her built in best friend and any friends she did have she eventually dropped because they only wanted to hang out with her to get close to Ben. She spent a lot of time with her books and got a part time job to go halfsies on a car with Benny.

They got into a car accident together and nobody could reach Will and all she kept crying for despite her broken ribs was her big brother who carried her home from the creek when she broke her ankle. All she wanted was a kiss on the forehead and to be told everything was going to be okay.

She and Ben both graduated with impeccable grades near the top of their class. He went to basic and she spent her first summer truly alone her whole life before she went off to college.

She majored in history to begin with but nothing ever really sparked her passion. She took a couple of developmental psych classes though and thought that was really interesting but never thought her brain could handle knowing all about the brain like that.

She started falling into a bad way having not really ever made friends before given that she just..... had Benny and that was who she hung out with all the time. Again, the only interest really shown in her from the opposite sex was sexual interest. She had always struggled with anxiety and depression but like... her brothers were around and they kept her grounded and never let her be alone with her thoughts. She couldn't open up to just anybody and she started falling into a bad way. Just letting herself and her body be used. She had a car, she had a job, she had the money to buy the alcohol and the weed and the molly and go to the parties.

Her studies slipped and she got put on academic probation and her parents said, 'no, you're coming home.' So she did. She transferred after that semester and would start the next school year at the university in her hometown and live at home with her parents. That was when Will got leave to come home (but not Benny, just Will).

He looked so fucking sad. More than sad, he looked haunted. He looked tired. He did not look like her big brother. He did not look like he would kiss her on the forehead and tell her everything would be okay because he didn't look like he believed there was an okay to be.

She switched her major to psychology at orientation. That was the year that Will and Benny brought Frankie home for Christmas. She recognized the same look in their eyes that she had seen in Will's.

She graduated with good grades and went on to get her master's degree and become a licensed therapist. She specializes in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) (is my fucking nERD COMING OUT RIGHT NOW?).

She moved in with Will because paying half of her big brother's veteran loan mortgage was cheaper than paying rent on her one bedroom apartment. Made cheaper when Frankie moved in and they split it three ways. That way she could save up. She didn't really know what she was saving for -- a house, an amazing vacation, a new car -- but it helped her build a good habit.

Benny will always be her built in best friend, Will too, but they brought her her true best friend. Her and Frankie became so close and she felt like a fucking failure to him when he went to rehab because she couldn't believe she didn't notice. Like with how bad Will's PTSD was. Or Benny's. Because when you're with these people every day and you're emotionally invested in it, you cannot look at it objectively often times until it's too late. That aided in her pulling away from all of them but especially Frankie. She was very depressed and disappointed with herself and dating a fucking ASSHOLE who didn't want her around them anyway and he very easily manipulated her to do just that.

When she moved back in with Will and Benny, Frankie came over a lot. A lot more than he had been when Lizzy wasn't there. He just wanted to make sure she was alright. They turned their little routine back into late night talks long after the movies had gone off and the boys had gone to bed. Often times Will would wake up in the morning and find Fish sprawled across the couch because Lizzy didn't want him driving so late and who is Francisco Morales to argue with Elizabeth Miller?

She married Francisco Morales a few weeks after they became engaged and found out they were pregnant. He told her they could wait, he knew that the 'shot gun wedding' comment Ben made had rubbed her the wrong way but she didn't want to wait any longer to be his wife. They went from taking it very slow to moving very fast. Moved in, engaged, pregnant and married within a month.

[slimy-vore-bog]

(Un)Necessary Evil

Disclaimer: all my work is meant to be non-sexual N/SF/W interaction is not appreciated

Okay, so a few warnings for this story... I try to go into the topic of the fear of death as deeply as I can. It could be way worse, but just as a warning, if you’re not ready to be reminded of death at the moment, give this story a skip.

For the more casual stuff that’s usually uncomfortable for safe vore people: this story contains mentions of hard and fatal vore, but none happen.

Oh, and as always; this is an Owl House fic.

Actually this is a rewrite of this old story that I didn’t post to tags called A Betrayal of Trust (But a Necessary Evil)

The two are very different and this is definitely a better story.

Anyway, I should probably just get onto the story... Oh wait, this story is set before s2 ep2 Escaping Expulsion. And obviously post that a lot of stuff will change, but I don’t feel like creating an entire canon divergent AU

Ao3

Word Count: 14k

***

I wonder why Amity wants to see me now… Luz stood in the market place, looking around for her friend. We’re going to meet up later anyway. She spotted the green haired witch in the distance, feeling a burst of excitement. I guess I don’t mind seeing her one more time before later today! She grinned, before she waved for her. “Hey Amity, there you were!”

Luz stopped herself, just as she was about to run towards her. Something seemed… off about her. She looked sad, as she stared back at Luz. “You are Amity, right?” Luz suddenly felt embarrassed. Please tell me I didn’t mistake some random person for Amity.  

Luz didn’t know whether she should feel relieved or more worried, when her friend nodded.

Luz hesitated, before she decided to run up to her. “I almost thought you were somebody else!” She smiled brightly at her, but Amity didn’t look at her. “Um,” Luz felt a little awkward, “so, why’d you want to see me now, instead of later?”

Amity glanced up at her, before quickly looking down into her bag. “I wanted to give you something.” She fiddled around in it, seeming to get more miserable by the second. “It’s really important that you wear this later, okay?” Amity looked up into Luz’s eyes.

Luz felt a bit shocked by Amity’s seriousness about this. “Why? What do I have to wear?” Why would Amity force her to wear something? This is weird. She didn’t like feeling forced to do something.

Amity looked unsure, as she dropped the thing she was holding back in her bag. Her eyes flicked around, as she grabbed her own hand, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. “Well…” her eyes widened, as she grabbed the thing out of the bag. “Sorry, I focused on your first question!”

Luz watched, as she brought out a necklace with multiple yellow gemstones on it. “Woah!” Luz exclaimed, suddenly feeling like she had to study it closer. “Is it glowing?” The gemstones on it seemed to be giving off a dim yellow light from them. “What makes it glow? Is it a spell? Or are they magic rocks?” Luz brought her hand out to take it, before she remembered that wearing a mysterious glowing necklace sounded like a horrible idea. “But, wait, why do I have to wear it?”

Amity curled the chain around her fingers, glancing around again. “Well… uh…” she let it fall through her fingers down in her other hand, as her brow furrowed. “It’s…” she hesitated again, looking a bit more frustrated. “It’s just really important to me that you wear it, can’t you do it for me?” She held the necklace out to her.

Luz hesitated, “I don’t want to sound suspicious of you, but…” she trailed off unsurely. “It’s just…” She wrapped one of her hoodie strings around her finger. “Are you sure it’s safe? Where did you get it from?”

Amity looked even more frustrated. “I promise it’s safe, just take it already!”  

She held it out to her, and Luz reluctantly took it out of her hands. “Sorry…” Luz opened the clasp, putting the necklace on, feeling a tiny jolt run through her body. Luz didn’t understand how she could feel it, or what she felt, but she was pretty sure it had to have a strong spell in it. Or Amity had a really weird and unsettling way of pranking. “I just don’t get why it’s so important.”

Amity looked away from her again. “I’m sorry too… I don’t want-” She quickly glanced over at Luz, before she turned around. “I’m just sorry…” She began walking away, before she turned to look back at Luz one more time. “See you later…”

Luz didn’t know what to do, “Uh, yeah! See you!” She lifted her hand to wave, but Amity had already turned around.

The glow of her necklace caught her attention, as she looked down to the ground. She picked up the biggest gemstone between her fingers. She had to admit; it was a pretty necklace. I wonder what makes it glow like that? She held it up to her face, watching it in awe. It’s really cool. She did a little jump out of excitement. And it wasn’t actually bad!

She suddenly felt even worse about her distrust of Amity. I’ll apologize to her again later today…

She let go of the necklace, as she turned to head back to the Owl House.

¨¨

Luz hated waiting; being patient wasn’t exactly her strong suit… But that didn’t change the fact that there were still a few hours until she could see Amity again, and she couldn’t come up with anything to do. Maybe I can talk to King for a bit? She was pretty sure she had seen him napping on the couch, but he might have woken up.

She went downstairs to check, but he hadn’t.

Luz thought about waking him up, just to make up for the times he had accidentally done it to her, whenever he unconsciously poked her with his sharp horn. But she decided that was a little too mean of her. She carefully sat down on the other side of the couch, resting her chin on her hand, tapping her foot against the floor.

I wonder where the others are? She looked around the living room, but there wasn’t anybody else in there. Strange, Lilith is normally in here… She was starting to feel a little too restless. I’ll go look around.

¨¨

She looked around the house, both inside and out, but she couldn’t find anybody anywhere. Well, except for Hooty, but she didn’t really feel like talking to him. Ever. She shook her head, not wanting to think about all the weird stuff she had seen him do, before she sat down on the couch again. Maybe King knows where they went?

She watched the tiny demon for a few moments, trying to decide if she should wake him up or not, before his fur bristled along his tail. “Stop staring at me, creep…” He mumbled, barely opening his eyes. “That’s the sixth time I’ve caught you doing that.” The look in his eyes told her that he definitely knew there were the times he hadn’t caught her.

Luz flushed in embarrassment. “It’s not my fault you’re so cute!” She shook her head. “But that’s not why I’m staring.” She pulled her legs up on the couch, as King stretched. “Did Eda and Lilith say where they were going? I haven’t seen them since I left to meet Amity.”

King yawned, before his eyes widened in surprise and he got up. “What’s that?” He pointed to Luz’s necklace. “When did you get that?”

Luz fidgeted with the necklace, as soon as he pointed it out. “Amity gave it to me.”

King reached for the necklace, but Luz pulled away. “I wanna see it!”

Luz didn’t want him to touch it. It’s mine; Amity gave it to me. “You don’t use your hands-” she cut herself off, before King even made a face, “-paws, to see.” Luz wasn’t sure it was as wide of a statement in the demon realm as it was back in her own, already King having paws was different, but that didn’t change that he specifically didn’t.

King scowled, before he sat back down and crossed his arms. “Some demons do, you know…”

Luz let go of her necklace. “Well you don’t…” She thought a little about seeing with paws and hands. I guess blind people do that in a way? “And some humans do too, but that’s a blind thing.” She shifted around, before remembering that this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. “But, I still want to know if you know where Eda went?”

King moved a paw up to his snout, as he thought. “I’m not sure… I think she might have gone to the market to get something?” He shrugged, “she left some time after you did, anyway.” Before Luz could even ask, he answered her next question. “Lilith went with her, if you were going to ask.”

Luz nodded. “So we’re home alone?” she crossed her legs, looking over at the door. “Well, except for Hooty, but he is the house…” Luz stared over at the door, expecting him to butt in, but Hooty had been a lot better behaved, since Lilith and him had become friends. “So, is there anything you want to do?”

King’s tail wagged. “Let’s watch something together!” he jumped up on his legs. “Something violent! With lots of blood! I think I know just where we can watch something like that!” He was already running to get the crystal ball, before Luz could make another suggestion.

¨¨

Luz didn’t care all that much about what she and King were watching, but she liked that he was having fun. It looked like it was a monster movie of some kind, not as bloody or bad as she was scared it would be, but still a tiny bit more violent than she liked. It was at least not as weird as some of the other movies she had watched.

One time, she had seen a movie about some weird creatures that ate people, but they were really a struggling family that could only live by doing that. She had no clue if it had been some sort of parody, comedy horror or meant to be a serious heartwarming family story, but whatever it was; it made her both curious enough to watch it all the way through and incredibly uncomfortable.

Luz realized she was zoning out slightly, as she registered King screaming to her side. “Yes! Devour them! KILL THEM ALL!” He leaned in on the table, wagging his tail, his eyes shining with excitement. “One day, I’ll be like that again…” he whispered in awe.

Luz shifted around in her seat, messing with her necklace. I wonder how long there is until I have to head to Amity’s house? She checked the time, but there was still over half an hour before she could leave and get there at a reasonable time. “When’s this going to be over? I have to visit Amity later.”

King glanced up at Luz. “I think it’s over soon.” He sat back down, with a little squeak. “Sorry I was blocking your view.”

Luz smiled down at him. “It’s fine, you’re even cuter when you’re excited about something!”

Luz grinned, as he glared up at her. “I’m NOT cute! I’m the King of demons, and I…” He trailed of as his gaze fell back on the crystal ball. “I’ll lecture you later.” He tried to look tougher, like the movie bored him, but Luz could see how his tail twitched and shifted as he tried not to wag it.

Luz shifted to lay on her stomach, watching the last of the movie with him.

¨¨

Just a few minutes after the movie ended, Eda and Lilith finally came home, but Luz didn’t have a lot of time to stick around and talk, because she suddenly realized she needed to check if she had anything she needed to bring with her.

Shoot, why did I not remember to check earlier? She sprinted upstairs, after a quick hi to Eda, to look for her bag.

She took some time to draw a couple emergency glyphs, just in case she got into trouble, making sure to bring her notepad and pen with her, if she happened to use them all up without being able to draw them on the ground either.

She took a few seconds to look at her necklace, before she headed back downstairs to say goodbye.

King didn’t like that she was leaving at all. “Why do you have to go?” He grabbed her leg, as she was about head out the door. “Can’t you just visit Amity tomorrow?”

Luz smiled down at him, lightly pushing him away, but he stood his ground. “Sorry, King, I promised Amity I’d come over today.” She patted his head, as he looked up at her with big begging eyes. “We can spend time together tomorrow, okay?”

King suddenly got a way more worried look in his eyes. “But what if there isn’t going to be a tomorrow?”  

Luz froze, shocked at what he was suggesting. “I don’t think you need to worry about that.” She picked him up in her arms, despite his slight protest. “Everything’s going to be fine! I’m prepared!” He squirmed, as she hugged him, before she put him back on the floor and brought her emergency glyphs out of her bag. “Look! I’m ready for anything!”

King stared up at Luz, not looking any more at ease. “But… What if something catches you off guard?” he looked back to the crystal ball, before he pointed to it. “I don’t want anything like that to happen to you, Luz!”

Luz felt uncomfortable looking back at the crystal ball, because she knew she probably couldn’t say that it was just a movie. “Like I said; everything is going to be fine!” She felt a bit antsy, realizing that she was wasting time discussing this with King. “And, again, I promised Amity I was coming over today.” She fidgeted with her bag, before continuing. “And I’ve made it this long without being eaten! I promise I’m going to come home safe.”

She crouched down to give King another hug, before she headed out the door. “Bye, guys!”

¨¨

Luz didn’t know what to do, as she stood in front of the door to the Blight Manor after having knocked. She had no clue what to expect, as she waited for someone to let her in.

She shifted from foot to foot in small bounces, as the door opened.

She took a step backwards, nearly falling off the steps, when she saw how infuriated Amity looked. “Woah! What’s wrong?” Did I come over too late? Or too early? Luz wasn’t sure she should come closer, as Amity stared her down, before looking at her necklace.

Luz yelped in surprise, when Amity grabbed her arm and forcefully pulled inside the house. “Ack! Amity! Stop! That hurts!” She didn’t listen, as she kept pulling on her, making Luz follow along just to lessen the pain. Despite that, her grip was still uncomfortably tight around her arm. “What’s going on?”

Luz tried to figure out what she could have done wrong to make Amity so angry at her, but she couldn’t think of anything. Is she taking her anger out on me, or is she angry at me? She couldn’t tell what was going on, but she knew that she didn’t want to see Amity like that. “Have I done something wrong?”  

Amity huffed, but she didn’t answer her question.

Luz still tried to figure out what Amity could possibly be mad at her for, as she followed her into the living room. Luz remembered that she needed to give a more thorough apology for her distrust of the necklace. “I’m really sorry about earlier.” Amity didn’t look at her as she spoke, “you know, with the necklace; I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t trust you.”

Amity tightened her grip on Luz’s arm, before she suddenly let go of it, and shoved her down on the couch.  

Luz hit the couch, before quickly rolling back off it, staring up at Amity. “What was that fo-” Her eyes widened, as she cut herself off when she saw Amity forming a spell circle. “Wait, don’t!” But she barely got the words out, before Amity cast the spell.

Luz braced herself for something to hurt her, but nothing happened at all. She let out a sigh of relief. Amity is just messing with me. “Wow, you really scared me-” Luz’s eyes widened once again, as she realized that something had happened; she was shrinking, getting smaller by the second. What did Amity just do to me?!

Amity watched her with cold eyes, before she walked over and crouched down.

Luz hesitantly backed away, trying to figure out why Amity was acting the way she was. “Uhm…” her voice shook slightly, stopping her from speaking, as she glanced away. Her fear felt like it grew larger by each second that the giant, compared to her, girl watched her. “What did you do that for?” she asked, trying to stop her voice from showing how scared she felt. Her heart thudded quickly in her chest, as Amity kept the cold look in her eyes.

Amity leaned down closer, before poking her hard enough to knock her over. “You’re boring… Aren’t you going to run away or something? I thought you would be more exciting to catch…”

Luz watched her for a few seconds, before she got up on her feet again. “Catch?” She kept looking up at her, but she couldn’t figure out why Amity would want her to run. Whatever Amity was doing; she wasn’t sure she wanted to play along with it.

Amity sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Alright, let me put it simply…” Her hand suddenly slammed down in front of her, making Luz jump back with a shriek. “You run right now, and I might let you go if I can’t catch you within...” she paused to think, as Luz heart pounded even faster in her chest, “ten minutes.”

Amity stared at her with the same uncaring eyes, waiting for Luz to do something, but she couldn’t get her feet to move. She took a couple unsure steps back after a few seconds. Is this a game? It had to be; why else would Amity be acting like that? Maybe it’s just a weird way to welcome guests here? But that didn’t make much sense.

Amity tapped her fingers against the floor in impatience, snapping Luz out of her thoughts. “I’m only giving you a few more seconds to try and get away, human.” She shifted her fingers to reach out after her, but she stopped before wrapping them around her. “This is getting really boring… Aren’t you at least going to yell at me?”

Luz stared at the fingers that had almost closed around her, not knowing what Amity was getting at. “I don’t get it!” she shouted, squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t get what’s happening!”

Amity pushed her down on the floor, pinning her down roughly with only a couple fingers. “I’m giving you a chance to escape!” Luz still didn’t understand, as she looked up at Amity. She felt her press down harder on her shoulders, making her gasp in pain. “Or, I guess, was.”

Luz let out a pained wheeze, as Amity’s fingers wrapped around her, almost feeling like Amity was trying to crush her to death. “Stop! That hurts!”

Amity scowled down at her, but she loosened her grip slightly. “Oh, poor you.” She scoffed, before she opened her fist up to grab Luz’s bag, before she even had a chance to try and take it back from her. “As if it wasn’t on purpose…” she mumbled under her breath. “Didn’t realize you were that stupid.”

Luz stared up at Amity in disbelief. “I’m not stupid!” What is going on with her? “I want to know why you’re hurting me!”

Amity glared at Luz intensely. “Can you be quiet? I need to focus on something.” She lifted her up to her mouth and grabbed the back of her shirt between her teeth.

Luz felt a strong chill go up her spine, as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She tried to keep her shirt from pressing in on her throat, but it barely helped. What the hell is Amity doing? She gasped for breath, as she squirmed to try and loosen the pressure on her neck.

She looked at her bag, as Amity emptied it into her hand. Another rush of fear went through her, as she realized that she had barely had any ways of defending herself against Amity. She tried to kick Amity’s chin, but she couldn’t hit anything from where she was. “Don’t-” She coughed, shifting her grip on her shirt slightly, “-don’t take my stuff!”

An exhausted breath blew down onto her from Amity’s nose, before she put the pen and notepad down in the bag and shook the glyphs off her hand.

Luz watched, as her hand moved up to grab her again, kicking it as soon as it was in reach. “Let me go!” She only realized her poor wording, as Amity let out a small laugh through her nose, and opened her mouth slightly. “Wait, no! Not like that!” Luz let out a terrified cry, bracing herself for the fall, but Amity grabbed her again without dropping her.

Luz felt Amity’s tongue slurp up against her neck, before she was lowered down.

Luz couldn’t believe what Amity just did, as she shifted her head to try to process the feeling of drool that lathered her neck. Did she just lick me? She definitely did. Why did she do that? Luz felt another strong chill run through her body. “Why did you lick me?”

Amity’s eyes were just as unkind as before, when she turned Luz around to stare at her. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Luz cowered, as the bad feeling she had grew worse. “Please don’t hurt me…” she whispered quietly. She had a growing worry that this was going the exact way she expected getting licked by a person big enough to eat her in a single bite would go. I shouldn’t have promised anything to King… she realized, trying to stop the burning feeling in her eyes, not wanting to cry. I have to be wrong; Amity would never do that. But signs weren’t very promising.

Amity scowled down at Luz, before she shifted her gaze away from her. She didn’t say anything else, as she began looking around from something in the house.

Amity found her way to what looked like a dining room, where what had to be her mom was standing. Luz felt Amity shift her grip on her to dangle her from her fingers. “She was way too easy to catch… I even offered her a chance to get away, but, apparently, humans aren’t smart enough to take a chance to survive.”

Luz tried to look back at Amity, but she couldn’t quite see her, as the feeling of dread grew. “Survive?” She knew Amity was obviously hinting at eating her, but that didn’t mean she was being serious about doing it. She wouldn’t really do that, would she? “What do you mean?” She couldn’t actually want to kill her. Her thoughts spun in her head, as she tried make sense of it. She wouldn’t!  

Amity turned her around, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not stupid?” She shook Luz, making her cry out in distress, as she felt like she was going to slip out between her fingers. “I thought you had already caught on.” She shifted her grip to let Luz sit in her hand. “I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m going to do, but I guess a human like you would be too dumb to understand?”

Luz tried to get up on her feet, but Amity didn’t give her a chance, as she was pinned down by her thumb. She stared up at Amity, still trying to figure out if she was serious. “I’m not dumb!” She squirmed underneath her thumb, but she held on too tightly for Luz to do anything. “I just don’t know why you would do this!”

Amity rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, sure, but isn’t it still pretty obvious?” She glared down at her, as she continued. “I don’t care about you.”

Luz suddenly burst out laughing. Something about the way she said it didn’t sound like she meant it. It sounded way too exaggerated. “What are you talking about?” She couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of Amity not caring about her. “We’re friends!” Just the thought that Amity would hurt her seemed completely absurd the more she considered it. “We’ve been friends for a long time, when did you suddenly start hating me again?”

Amity got even angrier, glancing over at her mom, as Luz spoke. “That doesn’t matter!” She pressed her thumb harder into Luz’s chest, making her let out a pained wheeze again. “What matters is that I don’t like you, and I’m going to make sure that I never have to see you ever again.”

Luz wriggled underneath her thumb, trying to process everything that was happening. She can’t mean that! “W-wait, no!” She already knew how Amity was going to solve this. “We can figure this out another way!” Luz looked around as she gasped for breath, while she tried to think. Is Amity seriously going to kill me? “I’m trying to find way back to my mom! Maybe-” Luz hesitated, before she made her decision. “What if I stay there? In the human realm?”

Amity kept scowling down at her, but Luz could swear she saw a glimpse of surprise in her eyes, before she looked over at her mom with a slightly hopeful expression.

Luz immediately put the pieces together, but that didn’t make her situation any less terrifying. Is Amity’s mom making her kill me? She decided to keep her mouth shut, until her mom made a decision. Please let me go home… She suddenly felt even more powerless in Amity’s grasp, knowing that her life could be ended by a single decision that neither she or Amity had a say in.

Amity looked back down at Luz, clearly realizing that she had noticed her odd behavior, as she her expression changed back to a glare hurriedly, before her necklace lit up.

Luz looked at it unsurely, waiting for either Amity or her mom to say anything. Don’t kill me… She couldn’t help squeezing her eyes shut, as she waited to know if she was going to make it out alive or not. Please decide to let me go… she begged inside her head once again.

Amity huffed, and Luz’s hair stood on end, as she realized what that meant. “No, you said you’re still trying to find a way back and that would take way too long.” Luz pulled her legs closer to her body, as she gave Amity a pleading look. “Besides, I don’t have the patience to see your face around anymore.” She shifted her around in her hands with malicious smile. “And I think killing you would be much more satisfying.”

Luz realized she had to come up with something to convince her mom to change her mind. “Amity, please, don’t!” She looked around, trying to collect her thoughts. What did I want to say? “I- You-” It was about Amity. “You don’t actually want to kill me; I know it!” She pointed her thumb where Amity had looked earlier. “It’s her, your mom! She wants to kill me! I saw the way you looked over at her!”

Amity squeezed her eyes shut in a scared wince, before she tried to play it off. “Why do you have to be so annoying about this?” She shifted her grip to dangle Luz from her fingers again. “You know you can’t do anything about this, right? Even- I mean-” Amity stammered slightly. “Ugh! I’m just going to get this over with!”

Amity opened her mouth as wide as she could, finally letting the fact that Amity was serious about killing her sink in.

“Wait!” She tried to grab onto her fingers, while kicking against Amity’s hand. “No, please! There has to be something I can do to change your mind!” But Amity didn’t hesitate, as she lowered Luz into her mouth. “Or your mom’s mind!” She writhed around, trying to get a look at her, but she couldn’t even catch a glimpse. “Mrs. Blight, please, stop this!”  

But her mother didn’t say or do anything to call it off.

The bare part of her legs rested against Amity’s tongue, as she closed her mouth around Luz’s waist. I have to do something now! “We can figure something out, or-” Luz felt that she was sliding deeper into Amity’s mouth, despite her desperate attempts to push herself back out. “Please, I-” Luz sucked in a breath, as she felt tears burning in her eyes once again, “-I don’t want to die!”

Amity opened her mouth a little wider around her again, using her tongue to drag her in. “Amity! Stop! Please!” This isn’t happening! This couldn’t be happening. She tried to grab onto Amity’s lip, but she couldn’t even reach anymore, let alone hold on. This isn’t happening!

“Amity! Spit me out right now!” She tried to kick herself back out of Amity’s mouth, but she shut it around her, before she even had a chance.  

“This isn’t funny at all!” It had to be a cruel joke, or a nightmare. It had to be. She couldn’t die here; she couldn’t die yet. This isn’t happening! She choked on her own sob, as she begged Amity to stop. “Ple-please!”

But Amity still didn’t listen to her.

Luz tried to back away from Amity’s throat, but she couldn’t get a proper grip on anything inside her mouth. Maybe if I kick her throat, she’ll spit me out? Anything was worth a shot at this point. She gave her a full force kick in the back of her throat.

Just as Luz had hoped, Amity immediately retched and spat her back out into her hands. But Luz instantly realized that there wasn’t anywhere to go from there. Okay, so I have another shot at changing her mom’s mind, that could work! Luz spun around to face her, but something about the look she was giving Amity told her there was nothing she could do. I have to try again.  

She tried to gather her thoughts, but all except the desperate pleas for her life escaped her. Shoot, what do I say? Luz stared at Amity’s mom, as Amity stopped gagging behind her.

Luz turned back around. “Amity, please, you don’t have to do this!” There had to be another way to convince her… What hadn’t she tried? “I promised King I would come back home today!”  

She looked up into Amity’s eyes, hoping to convince her to let her go. Luz immediately began talking, trying to stall her fate, despite the lack of any sort of pity in her eyes.

“I said that we could spend tomorrow together, but he said there might not be a tomorrow, and I tried to comfort him-” her eyes flicked around, trying to look as scared as she felt, “but if I really don’t have a tomorrow, then King and I will never spend it together!”

Luz hoped that her listening to her stream of panicked words meant that she was considering trying to change her mom’s mind. She continued trying to stall. “What’s your mom’s name?” She turned back around to face her. “What’s your name?” she shouted at her, but she didn’t respond, only getting out of her line of vision. “Please! Stop this!” she cried out again, as her eyes searched for her in vain. “I need to get back! I have to come home!”

She felt Amity lift her up and turn her around and Luz stared up at her with tear-filled eyes. The look in Amity’s eyes was bored more than anything, as she spoke, “do you really think you’re going to be changing my mind on this?” She sighed deeply. “Because I’ve planned this for a while and I’m not going to back down over some begging and crying.”

Luz racked her brain for anything that could save her, but she didn’t know what else she could do. She tried to stall again, hoping Amity would hear her out. “What about the time…” It didn’t matter what she talked about, as long as she talked. “Or I mean, what about the Azura books? If you kill me, you won’t have anybody to talk with you about them!”

Amity scowled at Luz. “Don’t remind me of that!” She squeezed Luz tightly, before she continued. “You just kept talking and talking and talking!” The look her eyes soften for a second, before she caught herself. “I never got a word in! Do you have any idea of how annoying it was?” She sighed once more. “I’m tired of this...” She opened her mouth back up again.

Luz immediately tried to squirm out of her grasp. “Stop!” She put her hands out in front of her, once again trying to grab onto something before she was shoved into Amity’s mouth. There has to be something I can do! But it was useless and, deeper down, she did know that.

Her eyes flicked around, as she tried to come up with something. Could I make her gag again? Maybe Amity will get tired of it eventually and… Luz didn’t even have to finish the thought, before she realized that wouldn’t work. Amity could easily bite her in half or just crush her arms or legs between her teeth. A sharp prickling feeling went up her spine, as she felt like the hair on her neck stood up. I can’t get out.

She suddenly became much more aware of everything around her, as she realized that now really was the moment she was going to die.

Everything felt fake, as a surreal feeling spread through her body, making every muscle in it tense. Her heart was beating, but it didn’t feel like her heart. She was breathing, but her lungs didn’t feel like they were hers. She had thoughts, but they didn’t feel like they came from her own head.

She shook her head, as she felt like vomiting. No, no, this is just a weird dream, a really scary, terrifying, nightmare, I’m going to wake up soon… But then why could she feel the saliva from Amity’s mouth making her clothes stick to her skin? I’m not going to die! I can’t! She clenched her fists tighter, digging her nails into her palms to feel something, as she shivered all over from the horrid realization she was having. She let out a small cry, wanting the feeling out of her body.

It couldn’t be possible that she would actually die; she couldn’t die. I can’t die! It doesn’t make sense! I can’t! Those were the only thoughts that echoed in her mind, as she tried to process what was happening. She wasn’t supposed to die; if she died, then what would happen to her? To the person she was? She heaved for breath, before whimpering, as she felt like an intruder in her own body. I can’t die!  

Luz let out the loudest scream she could muster, trying to feel like she was in control of the body she was in, before she dug her nails into Amity’s tongue. She knew her voice would come out hoarse, even before she screamed again, “SPIT ME OUT!” The words raked her throat, as she screamed them as loud as she could.

She pressed against the back of her tongue with as much force as she could, before she was pinned to the roof of Amity’s mouth.  

She wriggled against it, trying to maneuver her arms to make Amity gag another way. I’m not going to die in here! She hesitated for a few seconds, before she pressed her arms into Amity’s throat. She couldn’t put as much force into it, as her kick, or even just when she pressed down, but it was enough for her soon-to-be murderer to let her back out.

At least for a second, before she was quickly shoved back inside. This was exactly the scenario she had dreaded. She couldn’t keep stalling her death; Amity wasn’t using anywhere near the amount of energy Luz was. This couldn’t keep going forever.

Amity pinned Luz against her palate once again, letting her struggle uselessly for even longer.

Luz could feel herself starting to feel a slight bit weaker, as she tried to do the same thing she had done just before. But this time she didn’t get a chance to press against Amity’s throat, as she let her fall back to the front of her mouth, before she could reach.

She felt her feet hit Amity’s teeth, before Amity opened her mouth slightly and forced her leg in between them.

Luz squeezed her eyes shut tightly, realizing that Amity was going to be done playing with her soon. She’s going to bite my leg off! Luz tried to pull it out from between her teeth, but it didn’t do anything. Please don’t do this… It couldn’t be that much longer, before she decided to kill her.

But biting her leg off wasn’t what Amity had in mind, as she shifted Luz’s head in between her molars instead. Luz tried recoil, despite knowing she couldn’t do anything but wait for Amity to crush her skull. She didn’t think to send out any sort of last thoughts, as she focused on trying to shut out the unbearable pain she would feel in just a few seconds.

But Amity changed her mind once again, shifting her back on her tongue.

Luz was starting to wish that Amity would just get it over with already, instead of playing with her like she kept doing. I can’t get out… She had tried everything now, but none of it had worked. She went limp, before she tried one last time to get Amity to spare her life. “Am-” she coughed, as she realized just how sore her throat was from screaming. “-Amity, please, I can’t die yet!” She felt tears build up in her eyes once again, but she didn’t try to hold them back anymore.

Luz tensed up immediately, as she felt herself slide towards Amity’s throat. Amity is going to swallow me whole! She squirmed, before she was pinned in place again. “Amity!” This was one of the worst ways she could decide to kill her. “Sto-” she choked on her voice again in the middle of her word, “-stop! Please, at least make it a quick death!”

But it did nothing to convince her, as she was squeezed down into her throat.

Luz tried to make her gag again, but Amity swallowed her down way too quickly for her to do anything. She kicked the back of her palate, but even though Amity’s body clearly wanted her to cough her back up; she still quickly swallowed again to let Luz slide farther down into her throat.

Luz cried out in distress, as she was squeezed and shoved farther down by the second. She tried to clear her head of thoughts, not wanting to think about how soon she was going to die. She wasn’t ready to die in anyway at all. I can’t die… But she knew that wasn’t true; everybody had to die. I don’t want to die… She didn’t want to die yet, and especially not the gruesome way she was about to.

She whimpered, as trying to wriggle back up, but she knew there was no way she was making it out again. I never got to see my mom again… Every ounce of guilt she had felt since she had pretended to be at camp hit her at once. She cried even harder, letting out a wail, as she wished she had told her something, anything, about where she was. She’s never going to know what happened to me...

Luz could feel when the stomach opened up beneath her, and she squeezed her eyes even more shut, as she slid into the pool of acid at the bottom.

She quickly got out of it, but she knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference. I’m… She could barely finish the thought, but she knew she had to face sooner or later. I’m not getting out of here… She let her shoulders untense, knowing there was nothing she could do but wait for death. Maybe it won’t be as scary as it sounds…

But she knew she didn’t really believe that.

~

Amity felt Luz stop moving inside her stomach, but she didn’t worry, knowing she was going to be alright. She looked up into the smug face of her mother, glaring at her. Wipe that annoying smile off your face! Her mother hadn’t won; she had. Or at least as much as she could win, when she had, hopefully, broken Luz’s trust in her completely. She looked down at her stomach, holding a hand over it. Please don’t still trust me after this…

Her mom’s eyes nearly looked like they sparkled, as Amity hurried to lower her hand down. Shoot, I’m making this worse for Luz… Her mother touched the gem around her own neck, as her voice rung in her head like it had done so many times. “Mittens, you still seem pretty affectionate with the human, are you sure you can stay away from her?”

Amity nodded, as she felt anger bubble up inside her. I would do anything to keep Luz safe. Even if it meant never seeing her again. Though, the fact that her mom still wore that smug smile worried her. Am I missing something? Her skin prickled, as she knew there had to be something she wasn’t thinking off. Was there a loophole she hadn’t consider? How did the deal go again?

She thought back to what had been said. ‘If you can convince Luz that you’re trying to kill her, we won’t do anything to her ourselves.’

Amity’s eyes widened, as she realized exactly why her mom wore that smile, but she kept her face away from her. Stay calm, I can’t let her know that I’ve figured out her trick. If she knew she figured it out; she wasn’t going to get a chance to make a plan to save Luz from her.

She stretched casually, trying to look more tired than she was. “I think I’m going relax in my room for a while…” she hoped she could be more convincing than she was before. “I’ll come back… later?” She shot her mom an unsure look, trying to ask when she needed to let Luz out. That’s what I would have done before I guessed it, right? “When would be a good time?”

Her mom did look a bit suspicious of her, but not a worrying amount. “Come back in half an hour.”

Amity wasn’t sure she should chance a glare at her mom, despite knowing that she would have done it otherwise. I don’t want to risk anything… She would let her think she still thought she had won by ignoring her, as she walked past her.

~

Luz stared in confusion at the yellow tinted walls that were pulsing around her, realizing that something was off. Even if there was still enough air for her inside Amity’s stomach; she definitely should be feeling at least some itching, if not unbearably painful burning, by now.

She looked down at the bare part of her legs, but the skin didn’t seem irritated at all, despite her lower half having been in the acid the entire time she had been inside Amity’s stomach, because she hadn’t been able to get completely out of it.

Luz didn’t understand what was going on, but she had a feeling Amity had a reason for not telling her that.

She looked up where she had first entered her stomach, wishing she could get back out. She put her necklace in under her hoodie, letting the space around her darken. It was a lot more pleasant, when she didn’t have to look at the pulsing moving walls that she thought was going to kill her just a moment ago.

She closed her eyes, letting herself calm down. The thought that she was going to die eventually, even if not now, still lingered in her body, making her feel like she wasn’t really herself. But at least I don’t have to die right now. She tried to comfort herself with the thought, but thinking about the fact that she had to die at some point still left her with the hollow feeling of her body not being hers.

She pulled the necklace back out, realizing she needed a distraction from her thoughts. Or at least something to do with her hands, so she could squash down the feeling of needing to do something.

She watched the flickering effect the light gained, as she fiddled with the gems. It started to feel a little less scary, when she focused on the light and necklace in her hands, instead of her surroundings, thoughts or feelings. She could deal with her existential dread later… when she figured out how to stop feeling like herself when she thought about the fact that her life would eventually be over.

She took a shaky breath, trying once again to calm down.

~

Amity paced around her room, trying to figure out how to handle everything. How am I going to get Luz back to the Owl House? She couldn’t picture a way that would work. Mom has to be keeping an eye on me, in case I decide to run away… Amity paused in her pace. Is it obvious that I’m going to run away? She thought about it, but she quickly realized if her mom saw or heard her head out, she would immediately get caught.

She sat down, trying to form a better plan. My only back up plan can’t just be to restrain her, while I run… She had to come up with something better, but she knew she had limited time. How am I going to do this? She placed her head into her hands, gritting her teeth in frustration.

She rubbed her face, trying to come up with something else. What if I wait until I’m supposed to let Luz back out, but then I run away? It almost sounded easier, but she might as well use some of the surprise from running way now instead. It might have worked, if Ed and Em were home to help. But, obviously, her mother didn’t want anybody interrupting her traumatizing of Luz. Or, rather, her murder. Why did I ever agree to this? It should have been so obvious that this plan wasn’t going to work. What made me think mom would even keep her word? She knew how her mom was.

Amity wished she had just been smart enough to avoid this. Luz could have saved herself, if I just warned her… She squeezed her eyes shut, letting herself cry. I could have helped her! Amity knew that she shouldn’t dwell on the past, that was something she couldn’t change, but she couldn’t see how she was going to get out of the situation her stupid, absolutely terribly, mistake had brought her in.

Amity had to wipe the tears from her face not long after. I have to at least apologize to Luz… Her shoulders tensed, as she thought about having to tell her that she had pretty much gotten her killed. I’ll try to make it more optimistic... She didn’t know how to make it sound like that, but she could give it a shot. “Luz?”

~

The necklace thumped against her chest, as she let go of it, when she heard her name. She felt a sudden burst of anger, kicking Amity’s stomach with as much force as she could. She quickly calmed down after that, realizing that it wasn’t Amity fault that this happened. Maybe partly, she didn’t try to stop her mom, but I shouldn’t take my anger out on her…

But before she could apologize; Amity spoke again. “I deserved that.” Luz waited for a few seconds, before Amity continued. “But I wanted to say sorry, and that you were right about everything… Somewhat?” Luz wasn’t sure if she should say anything yet, but Amity seemed to be done, as she didn’t say anything after making a few noises while thinking.

Luz wasn’t exactly sure what to say. “Uh… Okay?” She didn’t really want to be talking with Amity, her voice still felt uncomfortable to hear. “But, uhm… If I’m not going to die in here; you’re going to let me out soon, right?” Luz didn’t want to spend a second longer than she needed to inside Amity’s stomach.

She heard the rush of air in Amity’s lungs, as she took a deep breath. “About that…” Luz felt like her skin was crawling, as she waited for Amity to say something horrible. “I might have messed up a little more than I thought, and my mom does want you dead.”

Luz immediately sprang up in a panic, or attempted to, but she just splashed down into acids again as she slipped. “You’re still going to kill me?!” She tried to climb backwards, as one of the ways that Amity could still kill her popped into her mind. She’s going to drown me! “No, please, I-” But Amity quickly interrupted.

“No, no, Luz, I’m not going to let her get her way!” Amity’s heart had sped up too, as she hurried to get her words out. “I would never let anyone or anything hurt you; no matter what.” Luz noticed she took a breath, after she had stopped her writhing.  

Luz tried to process her words, but they… didn’t make any sense. Something in the way she said it made her think there much more to them than what she let on. She tried to think back to before Amity had lied to her about how much she hated her, but she still couldn’t figure out what made Amity care about her that much. No matter what... her mind repeated the tone that Amity had used. Maybe I’m putting too much meaning in it?

Amity continued, snapping her out of her thoughts. “But I was trying to say that she still wants you dead, so I need to find a way to get you back to the Owl House.” She let out a sigh. “The problem is that I’m stuck in my room…”

Luz let herself relax again. “First of all; don’t phrase stuff like that ever.” She pointed a finger at Amity, despite knowing she couldn’t see her. “But secondly… I don’t really know what to do either.” Luz gave herself some time to think. “Uh… Maybe you could…” Nothing popped into her mind immediately that wasn’t obvious. But maybe the simplest option could work? “Do you think you could beat your parents in a fight? If you had to?”

Amity went quiet, and Luz listened curiously for her response. “What do you mean? Do you want me to fight my parents?”

“No, I mean, if you had to, if you were caught?” Luz knew that Amity had to have thought about this, but she was pretty sure it could work. “And if you can’t, what are they going to do?” Luz’s confident feeling grew, as she thought about it more. “They can’t get to me, as long as I’m in here!”

It was silent above her, as Amity thought.

Luz stared up hopefully, excited that Amity seemed to be considering the idea. It could really work! She tried to squash down her feeling of being clever, waiting to hear what Amity thought of it.

“You’re right…” Luz waited, hoping she would go through with the idea. “But what if they have a way to make me throw up?”

Luz deflated, not having thought about that. “Well… Do you think they do?” She gave it a few more seconds of thought. “Why would they have a way to make you throw up? Doesn’t that sound weird?” Luz tried to come up with anything that could help them out of this awful situation they had ended up in. “And how else are we going to get out of this? I can’t think of anything else…”

Amity went quiet, clearly trying to think of something. “I don’t know…” She breathed out, as her heart sped up again. “I guess it’s the only thing that sounds doable…”

¨¨

Luz had to wait with growing worry, as Amity moved around the house.

She kept her hands around her necklace and it helped her calm down slightly. The chain felt comforting, as she ran her fingers along it. Stay calm… She didn’t want to freak out too much, despite knowing that both her and Amity were incredibly worried. She can do this.

She could hear Amity’s heart beat faster than her own, but not by much.

She wished she could help out, but there wasn’t a lot she could do, even if she was back outside and her regular size. I would probably just be easier to kill… Not to mention the fact that she was still completely defenseless. Luz gripped her necklace anxiously, as she thought back to Amity taking her bag. What did Amity do to my bag?

It wasn’t that she was too worried about the bag; she didn’t have anything really important and irreplaceable with her, but she still didn’t want to have lost it. She did have a few of her favorite patches and pins on it and it would suck to lose them. So technically something irreplaceable, if she never got back to her mom, but nothing really important important.

She let go of the necklace, deciding to watch the walls around her for a bit. It made her own stomach churn, as she thought about what happened. It was gross to think that Amity could do that. She hadn’t had that hard of a time swallowing her down, despite how much she had tried to get her to gag.

She tried to stop the uncomfortable feeling she got from thinking about it. Amity is keeping me safe. She reminded herself once again. I’m safer in here than out there. If she was out there; Amity’s mom could get to her way more easily.

Luz wasn’t sure how long she spent thinking about all her different worries, but apparently long enough for Amity to make it out of her house, as the bigger girl told her exactly that in a voice a little louder than a whisper.

It was quiet again after that, except for her much louder and more strained breathing.

¨¨ ~

By the time Amity reached the Owl House; she could barely get her legs to move anymore. Maybe I should have taken it just a tiny bit slower… Her parents hadn’t even seen her run away, as far as she knew. But the thought that they had been after her had made it impossible for her to slow down.

She stared over at the house, feeling unsure about what to do. Should she explain any of what had happened, or keep it a secret? I think I’m going to start by letting Luz out… She wished she had thought about an easier way to make herself throw up suddenly. It can’t be that hard… she thought, remembering how easily Luz had made her gag. But maybe it’s harder to do it myself…  

Amity shook her head, realizing she was overthinking it way too much.

She looked down at her stomach, feeling an uncomfortable shiver go up her body as she thought about what she had done. I’m so stupid… “I’m going to let you out now.”

¨¨ ~

Luz yelped in surprise, as she fell out of Amity’s mouth, but her fall was slightly broken by the soft-ish leaves on the ground. And despite falling the relatively tall height that she had; it barely hurt.

She still groaned, immediately having to squeeze her eyes shut at the still bright light outside. I didn’t realize it was so dark in there... She had thought that the light from her necklace was a lot stronger. She felt dizzy, as she hesitantly opened her eyes back up again.

She heard Amity shuffle backwards retching again, but it didn’t sound like anything else was coming out.

Luz got up on her feet, grimacing as she saw Amity’s face. That does not look fun... She didn’t want to say anything, before Amity was done dry heaving.

Amity swallowed loudly, letting out an exhausted noise. “I’m so sorry,” she started, swallowing sickly again, “I really hope you’re okay after all this...” Amity sat up clenching her hands tight. “I didn’t think any of this through... ” She squeezed her eyes shut, and a couple tears rolled down her face.

Luz didn’t want to say that everything was fine; it wasn’t. But she also didn’t think Amity needed to feel that horrible about it. “Well... The worst part was really realizing that I was going to die, so it’s not really your fault?” Luz dug her foot in under one of leaves next to her, trying to lift it with her foot. “I mean, unless you’re a god of death?” she tried to joke with a hesitant smile.

Amity grimaced, as she clearly tried not to smile back. “It’s not funny...” Her grimace quickly turned sad, as she looked down at Luz. “I know how much I scared you.”

Luz stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do to make Amity stop worrying about it. “I don’t really want to talk about this right now.” It was true, but she was mostly hoping to distract Amity. “Also... Could you maybe turn me back to normal?”

Amity snapped up. “Right! Sorry,” she apologized, but she didn’t turn her back immediately, fishing around in the bag she had with her, before she brought out Luz’s bag. “Here.” She stood back up, before casting the spell.

Luz closed her eyes, as she grew back to normal, finding a little too weird to watch how everything changed back to how it was before.  

When she opened them again; everything seemed much more familiar.  

A lot more real.  

Without even registering her emotions properly; everything blurred with tears.

Luz couldn’t even get a word out, despite wanting to tell Amity that it wasn’t her fault that she broke down. Don't think it’s your fault! Luz’s thoughts screamed between the terrifying jolts of constant reminding that she was going to die and having no way of knowing what would or wouldn’t happen afterwards. Don’t get upset too!

She looked over at Amity, seeing how distressed she looked too, and managed to speak up. “It’s not your fault.” She blinked, letting more tears fall freely. “I’m not scared of you!” She wiped her tears away, even though they were still coming. “We should get inside... I just need to talk with Eda.”

Luz watched Amity, but she didn’t move any closer towards the Owl House.

Amity spoke hesitantly. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Luz would have shrugged, but she was too upset. “It’s fine; Eda has probably done more questionable things than this.” Amity still looked a little unsure. “Amity, it’s alright; I’ll make sure they won’t get mad at you.”

Amity slowly nodded, before they both headed inside.

~

She still didn’t believe that Luz wasn’t upset with her. I shouldn’t be here... She felt like her back prickled uncomfortably, as she stood stiffly a few steps inside the house.

Luz had immediately gone to embrace Eda, crying into her shoulder. The older witch seemed to be very uncomfortable, but she also looked ready for letting Luz cry for as long as she needed.

Amity took a step back, hoping nobody would notice her. I could see if I could stay at the library for the night... She was pretty sure she could convince Malphas to let her stay if she told him about her situation with her parents. Or I could work a little harder if I need to. That could make up for it. I need to go now if I want to make it.

She carefully turned around to head back out the door, still trying to make herself as unnoticeable as possible.

But, of course, she was noticed this time. “Amity?”

The voice immediately caught her attention, as she noticed Lilith on the couch with Hooty by her side. “Lilith?” She decided that leaving wasn’t an option anymore, now where she had been noticed. “What are you doing here?”

She threw out her hands, “I could ask you the same thing; I thought Luz was just supposed to visit you,” she looked over at Luz and Eda, gesturing to Luz, “so how did things go so wrong that this happened to her?”

Amity shuffled her feet slightly. “I think I’m going to let Luz explain some of it first... But it’s my fault it happened.”

Luz immediately butted in. “No, it’s not-” she sniffled, before she continued, “-there was no way-” she breathed in deeply, as she whimpered and hugged Eda tighter, “-it wouldn’t have happened sooner or later...”

Amity took a second to think about it. “You are really only upset about the-” She wasn’t quick to catch herself before she said a little more than she needed. “-about death?” If she had to be completely honest; she thought that Luz was lying to her about that to make her feel better. Unless she thought I would pretend to want to kill her? But that was ridiculous.

Luz nodded, before she let go of Eda, “it’s really really scary to think about dying...” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m so so scared and I don’t know how to stop feeling like this!” She immediately wrapped her arms around Eda again, almost looking like she was trying to crush her, but Eda still let her hold on.

Eda waited until Luz let go of her again. “Luz, I don’t really know what to tell you.” She took a deep breath, before she continued. “The only thing you can really do is try to forget about it and then when the moment comes... all you can hope is that you’ll be ready for it.” She gently patted Luz on her shoulder. “But we can talk about this after you take a shower, alright? I need to get changed now too.”

Luz nodded, not looking the least bit comforted, before she left for the bathroom and Eda went to get a change of clothes.

King had been eerily silent as all this went down, staring after Luz as she left, before he leaped off the couch to stare down Amity. “What did you do to our Luz? You said that this was your fault!”

Amity felt uncomfortable, as the tiny demon tried to interrogate her. “It’s hard to explain... I really don’t want to do it without Luz.” She grasped the sleeve of her dress between her fingers. “And Eda needs to know what happened too.”

King scowled at her. “She smells like vomit; how much is there to explain about that? When did she get eaten and why didn’t you help her?”

Amity suddenly focused a lot harder on the grim taste of puke in her mouth. I need to rinse my mouth with some water. She realized that she was also incredibly thirsty after her run. “I told you Eda needs to know too and Luz needs to be here.” She turned to Lilith hesitantly. “I know it’s a little weird for me to ask for something right now, but where can I get something to drink?”

¨¨ ~

When Luz came back from her shower Amity looked twice as uncomfortable as she had before with everybody staring at her. Oh gosh, how am I going to explain what happened? She didn’t want them to think Amity was a bad person. “Hey,” she called shyly, trying to take the attention off Amity. “I’m feeling a bit better now.”

She went into the living room, standing next to Amity to hopefully make her feel less awful about what she did. She didn’t have bad intentions with what she did. “Sooo...” Luz began hesitantly, “I guess you guys want to know what happened?”

King scowled at Amity, but Luz was quick to step in. “It’s not her fault.” But she hesitated again. “Not entirely anyway... It’s...” Luz realized she had no clue why Amity’s mom did any of what she did. “Actually, what happened back at your place? Why would your mom ever make you do something like that?”

Amity took a deep breath, “I don’t know...” She rubbed her arm, looking down to the floor. “I just know that it doesn’t really surprise me that much...” She sighed, before she talked about the other part of what had happened. “But what happened was that... My mom told me that if I didn’t...” She stopped, taking a step in behind Luz. “I know I shouldn’t have done it! But she told me that if I wanted Luz to live, I needed to convince her that I wanted her dead.”

Luz looked back at Amity, recalling her wince when she had told her that she figured out her mom was the one behind it. That was why she got scared... Luz carefully brushed her hand against Amity’s arm, making her flinch. “Sorry!” she quickly apologized. I guess she wouldn’t like a hug. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Amity nodded, refusing to look at Luz, before she continued. “But it turns out that it was a trick... She was going to kill Luz either way, and I was stupid and fell for it and now...” She looked at Luz briefly with confusion in her eyes, before she trailed of completely.

Luz desperately wanted to give Amity a hug, but she didn’t seem like something like that would help her. “So... Did your mom tell you to pretend like you were going to kill me a specific way or did you decide that?” Luz really hoped that it wasn’t Amity’s own choice, despite it technically having helped save her life.

Amity looked disgusted. “My mom... She pretty much planned the entire thing... Except for the... The uh...” She suddenly looked even more ashamed of herself, “... fake escape... I mean, I was pretty sure ten minutes was enough to catch you, but I wouldn’t have let you go.”

King interrupted their explanation. “I feel like you two are leaving out A LOT of stuff, because I’m just getting more and more confused.”

Both Amity and Luz looked over at each other, before Amity spoke, “my mom told me I had to pretend to kill Luz by swallowing her alive. That’s why she came home drenched and smelling like vomit.”

Luz jolted up, realizing she forgot to apologize to her mentor for running her clothes. “I’m sorry about your dress, Eda! I didn’t think about how gross I was.” It had completely slipped her mind, despite how sour she had smelled, even without thinking of how slimy she had been.

Eda quickly dismissed it, “don’t apologize about that; it’s been through worse.” She shrugged, “besides, I was thinking of getting rid of it soon.”

Luz looked around the room, but there still seemed to be some confusion. “Uh... Maybe it’s better if we tell them everything that happened.”

¨¨

By the end of it all, Luz felt completely exhausted and scared, having had to relive the moment again. “I think I’m going to go to bed early...” She tried to shake her head to wake up a little, but it didn’t work.

Eda immediately shook her head, “nope, not before you’ve gotten something to eat.”

Luz felt sick at the thought of food. “No thanks, I don’t think I can eat anything.” Her appetite was completely gone and it wasn’t just from the thought of what had happened to her. The idea of eating felt pointless after realizing she was going to die. “I just want to go to bed...” she said, despite her stomach hurting from a lack of food.

Eda didn’t back down. “I get that it’s uncomfortable, but you have to eat something.” She got up from her seat. “Get something to drink and I’m going to make you something.”

Luz decided it was no use protesting.

¨¨

She sat awkwardly and sipped her glass of water. Drinking without any appetite wasn’t easy either, but it did help slightly. She was getting a bit more open to getting something to eat, but mostly to stop the nausea she was getting from her stomach trying to break down nothing.

Amity looked over at her, before she spoke, “so, I’m going to be staying here, right? Or should I be going back home?”

Luz stared at Amity in disbelief. “What do you think?! Obviously, you’re staying here for the night!” She was not letting Amity go home to her parents. At least not for the night.

Amity looked away again. “But what if they only get more upset with me?”

“Then you’re staying here another day,” she replied, carefully putting a hand on top of Amity’s, hoping to comfort her. “Amity, I’m not letting you get anywhere near them, if you’re still scared of them.”

Amity pushed Luz’s hand away, before going silent.

¨¨ ~

Amity watched as Luz headed upstairs to go to bed after she had gotten something to eat, leaving her alone in a room full of people she barely knew anything about.

She decided not to speak to them, looking down into her hands.

Her nail polish looked like it was flaking off in some areas, and she picked at it to distract herself from the awkwardness that hung in the air. What do I do? She had no clue where she was supposed to sleep or if they had enough food for an extra person to stay there. I really want something to eat... She thought, but she would never ask for it, if the others weren’t going to offer. They would probably hate me for it... How was she ever supposed to eat again after she had done what she did?

She scratched a relatively big chunk of paint off, before she stopped to look around at the others. The only one staring at her was King, who was giving her a death glare.

She looked back down to her nails, continuing to scratch at them. “I’m mad at me too, you know...” she said quietly to King. “I really wish I had never done any of what I did.” She rubbed the back of her hand gently, wishing she could go back to before any of it had happened.

King huffed. “Yeah right! You’re just saying that so we don’t get mad at you.” He jumped off the place he was sitting to stare challengingly up at Amity. “Well, I’m still going to be mad at you, so it’s not going to work.”

She shrugged half-heartedly. “That’s okay... I wish you were angrier with me.” She lowered her hand back down. “I mean... I deserve it, don’t I? But Luz isn’t mad at me, even though she really should be...” Amity decided to let a few of her trapped thoughts out. “I don’t understand why she doesn’t hate me for what I did. Or why you guys are letting me stay.” She grabbed her own hand, crushing it as hard as she could. “I don’t deserve it.”

King seemed startled by her, taking a few steps back. “Oh, you really do feel bad...” He ducked his head slightly, before he jumped back to where he sat before, now watching her with a bit harder to read expression. “Well, then I don’t really care, as long as you don’t try to hurt Luz.” He continued to watch her, but he didn’t seem as angry anymore.

Amity looked back at him for another second, only getting more confused. Why don’t they hate me? Maybe she didn’t have to worry about them not wanting her to stay over? But she still felt horrible about what she had done.

She got off the couch, but didn’t know where she wanted to go. “Is there an empty room I could stay in? I need some time alone...”

~

Luz lay in her sleeping bag, tears running down her face. Her mind kept spinning in circles whenever she tried to calm her thoughts about death. As soon as she got to ‘you might feel ready for it when it happens’ it spun back around to the beginning of ‘I’m going to die’. She couldn’t sleep with her thoughts going like that on repeat.

She shuffled around, lying on her side instead. Maybe it’ll be easier to deal with tomorrow. That was her hope anyway, but she knew it wasn’t going to help this time. It normally helps, but this is much worse, she thought, but still tried to relax her body. Take a deep breath...

She did as she told herself, letting it out with a bit of trouble, before she wiped off her tears. Her tiredness seemed to be coming back again after she did that, and she did her best to keep her eyes closed, until she eventually fell asleep.

¨¨ ~

Amity first got back out of the room when she got called for dinner. And she had completely lots her appetite by that time.

She still felt absolutely miserable, but at least she hadn’t been stared at the entire time.

She only took a few small bites, despite her probably needing much more than she felt like eating.

The room was filled with the same awkward silence, as she sat with the others, herself mostly drinking water while the others ate.

Just eat a bit more... She told herself. She knew it wasn’t good that she wasn’t eating, since she hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast to make sure that she wasn’t going to suffocate Luz in food on accident. Or even just let her sit in it. But she couldn’t make herself eat more than another small bite.

She looked up at Eda before quickly turning her head away again. “Thanks for letting me stay over.”

Eda shook her head, “it’s not that big a deal. Though I should probably have gotten a little more when I was out...” She looked like she was thinking about something, before she shook her head lightly again. “I’m just thinking out loud, no need to worry.”

Amity had already begun to worry, but she tried to shove the feeling down.

She forced herself to take another bite, but she was pretty sure she couldn’t eat another bite after that. “So... Where am I supposed to sleep?” she finally asked.

King mumbled something under his breath that Amity just barely caught, “nowhere near Luz that’s for sure...” Amity sure wasn’t going to object to that.

Eda shrugged again. “As long as it’s not taking already, I don’t care.”

¨¨

Amity ended up getting some pillows for herself and sleeping on the floor, because she was too ashamed to do anything else.

¨¨ ~

When Luz woke up; she didn’t feel nearly as bad as she thought she would. Her worrying about death had left her mind after her full night of sleep. At least for that moment.

She quickly got ready and headed downstairs to check if anybody else were up yet.

Checking the living room, she noticed that Amity had fallen asleep in the middle of the floor and was still sleeping. Luz raised an eyebrow, immediately becoming concerned. That doesn’t look comfortable... Not that it’s much more comfortable sleeping in a sleeping bag for so long. She almost decided to wake Amity up to get her somewhere more comfortable, before she realized it was a little late for that.

She walked around the house for a bit, finding all the others were still sleeping. I guess I did go to bed a little early... What had it been? 6 PM maybe? But there was also some time where she kept tossing and turning trying to fall asleep despite her scary thoughts.

She shook her head quickly. Don’t think about that, she reminded herself. Especially not when you don’t have anybody to talk to. But they were slowly creeping back in and she could feel her pulse rising. I’m not having this happen right after I wake up, she thought stubbornly at herself.

She looked back over at Amity, quickly deciding that she needed someone to talk to and woke her up, even if it was a little selfish.

~

Amity had woken up to someone trudging around the house, but she tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. At least until she felt someone touch her shoulder. “Hey Amity...”

She tiredly raised her head up to look at Luz. She immediately perked up a little more, realizing she probably had terrible bedhead. Every emotion she had about Luz in the past weeks mixed together at once, and she could only respond by lying back down again and apologizing. “Sorry.”

Luz let out a small uncomfortable laugh. “Seriously, stop apologizing, I’m trying to forget what happened right now.” She put a hand on her back, making Amity feel even more conflicted. “Besides, I think you missed a ‘good morning’.”

Amity couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “So did you,” she replied, making Luz look a little sheepish, “but good morning.” She sat up, trying to rub some of the sleep crust out of her eyes. “Why did you wake me up?” She was pretty sure it couldn’t be that late. “What’s the time?”

Her friend shrugged. “Dunno.” She also rubbed her eyes slightly, before she continued. “But I know why I woke you up.” Luz sat down next to her. “I just want to talk a little bit... I’m feeling a little off.” She rubbed her arm nervously. “So... How’d you sleep?”

Amity was pretty sure she knew what she meant by feeling off, but it was clear Luz didn’t like talking about it. “Poorly.” She could feel how stiff her body was. “But I didn’t know where else to sleep... And I was maybe being a little dramatic yesterday...” She would definitely have chosen to sleep on the couch now.

Luz tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Amity looked away, not wanting to touch on the subject, if Luz didn’t want to talk about it. “It doesn’t really matter.” She paused, thinking her decision over. Maybe I should tell Luz about how I felt yesterday. “Or, well... If you’re uncomfortable talking about yesterday it doesn’t matter.”

Luz gave a slight nod. “Oh...” Her brow furrowed. “So why did you sleep on the floor?”

Amity scratched the back of her head awkwardly. “I didn’t feel like I deserved a better place to sleep.”

Immediately Luz’s eyes turned sad, and Amity moved away. “Amity, I’m alright, you don’t need to keep being so harsh on yourself.”

Amity kept herself from saying anything, despite her thoughts screaming that Luz was supposed to hate her now. It doesn’t make any sense... she thought, looking over at Luz, before she finally said something. “It feels like you should hate me now.”

Luz got a much more sympathetic look in her eyes, before she gave a small smile. “I know how that feels.” She let out a tiny laugh, looking like she was about to say something before she bit it back. She thought over her words, before she continued. “I feel like that about the smallest things sometimes.”

Amity had to take a second to think about it. “But what I did was so much worse.”

Luz moved a bit closer to her. “Yeah, obviously? But I already told you that I’m alright.” She sighed. “You don’t need to worry about me.” Luz scratched her hand slightly, as she looked at her. “I know it sounds a bit out of nowhere, but would you like a hug?”

Amity had to give it a few seconds of thought, before she nodded.

She unsurely let herself hug Luz back, leaning into her. It felt nice to be held like that, and hold onto someone after all that had happened. Just knowing that she still had someone she could consider a real friend helped a lot. Though the thought that Luz was just a friend did make her feel a little sad, she felt like it was enough for her in that moment.

Amity was the first to try to pull away, but Luz held on a little longer, making Amity hug her back again. It felt like Luz also needed the hug a lot.

Eventually both of them let go, and Amity could see that Luz was about to cry again. Amity hesitated unsurely, before gently took Luz’s hand in hers, like Luz had tried to do for her the other day.

Immediately Luz tightened her grip around her fingers, making Amity wince, but she let Luz clutch onto her hand. If it makes her feel better I can stand it for a bit. It didn’t hurt that much; it just surprised her a little.

Luz loosened her grip slightly, as she looked at Amity. “It’s so- scary...” she sobbed, immediately tightening her grip again. “I just can’t imagine the fact that it’s all going to be over... That one day I won’t be here anymore.” Luz squeezed her eyes shut, gasping for breath. “One day my mom is going to die, and what if I never make it home to see her again?”

Amity didn’t know what to say. “I think you will.” Luz gripped her hand even tighter. “I don’t think I get your feelings about death, but if you really want to make it home; you can do it.”

Luz looked down at her own hand. “I wish things could be like this forever... But with my mom here.” She let go of Amity’s hand, looking into her eyes. “Then everyone could be here with me and none of us would have to die...” She sniffled quietly. “But I know that’s stupid to think.”

Amity looked at Luz, hating that she couldn’t do anything to make her feel better. She wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she couldn’t say that. Luz was worried about death, something that was inevitable. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to be here for you as long as you need.”

Luz managed a weak smile, but didn’t say anything else.

They sat like that for a while, before Luz spoke up again. “You mean a lot to me, you know?”

“I do?” questioned Amity, not sure what to think about it. “Even after what I did?”

Luz nodded, “it does make me feel a little strange... But I’m happy that you’re here with me.” She shifted the way she was sitting slightly. “I don’t want to be weird, but... It makes me feel really... warm and fuzzy when I think about you.”

Amity stared at Luz, before she pushed the thought she was having away. “It’s not weird, except for your childish wording” she teased slightly, while trying not to get too hopeful. “And I’m happy to be here with you too.” She decided she would shift the topic a tiny bit away. “And I get what you mean with this feeling strange... It’s confusing to sit here with you, after what I did.”

Luz fiddled with her hands, looking like she wanted to ask something. “Uhm...” she started, before her voice fell away again and she had to start over. “Do you feel the same way about me? Even with the childish wording?” Amity could tell that Luz meant exactly what she had thought.

Amity nearly choked on her own breath in surprise. Her voice caught in her throat, forcing her to nod instead. I have to be dreaming. There was no way that Luz had just asked her that.

Both of them went completely silent, not knowing what to say to each other.

Hesitantly Amity deciding to reach out for her hand again and Luz took it. For some reason it felt a lot different from how they had held hands just before. And it wasn’t just the lack of her fingers being crushed.

As Amity looked up into Luz’s eyes; she noticed her smile had a bit of sadness to it. Immediately her own smile faded. “I wish I could do something to make you feel better...”

Luz bowed her head slightly. “I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

That would have to be good enough for both of them.

***

That’s the end! Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please leave a like! I love seeing that people like my stories! :3

Have a fantastic day/night! <3

[lesbianlotties]

Journeys end in lovers meeting - Sam/Deena - Fear Street x Bly Manor AU - Chapter 2

Chapters: 2/10 Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier/Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson Characters: Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Constance (Fear Street Part 3: 1666), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Alice (Fear Street Part 2: 1978), Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street), Solomon Goode (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, The Haunting of Bly Manor AU, Not Canon Compliant, Haunted Houses, Ghosts, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Canon Lesbian Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Happy Ending, Au Pair Sam, Gardener Deena, Housekeeper Kate, Cook Simon, Josh and Constance as troubled kids, Ziggy and Nick in an unhealthy relationship, minor Cindy/Alice, Martin cameos, special appearances of all the Shadyside killers as ghosts, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, The Rest Is Confetti Summary:

The year is 1994. Samantha Fraser recently moved to Shadyside, and she desperately needs a job that will help her leave her troubled past behind. She starts working as au pair at Shadyside Manor, where she is not the only one tortured by ghosts. Grief, regrets, guilt, innocent victims, and an ancient curse. At the center of all of it... love.

Chapter 2:

Sam hadn’t been kidding when she said she would deal with the kids by herself. About nine years as a teacher were worth it. She knew exactly how to balance patience and authority, and exactly when to crack a smile. It wasn’t time for smiles though. It was time to let the kids of Shadyside manor know that their days of self-government were over. Sam was brought there to bring them an education, and that included rules, discipline, and consequences to their actions.

So, if they locked her in a closet, there would have to be a sort of punishment. If they were responsible for the muddy footprints that appeared on the staircase of the house, there would also be a punishment. Nothing too severe, of course. Sam knew even the word punishment seemed too hard for kids. But she knew this would be her only chance at asserting her position in that place.

That was how, after breakfast, Sam found herself with nothing to do while Josh and Constance worked on cleaning up the stairs. Luckily, she was quickly approached by two of her coworkers.

“So, since you have put the kids to do my work,” Kate said. “Why don’t you come hang us for a bit?”

Simon pulled out one of the chairs from the table and with a flourish offered it to Sam, “Miss Fraser, would you care to join us for a mid-morning shit-talking session?”

“Oh, sure,” Sam chuckled nervously and accepted the seat. “And you can just call me Sam.” She couldn’t help repeating herself. She didn’t exactly have good memories attached to her name. She only ever wished to be just Sam.

“Don’t creep her out, please,” Kate told her friend and two of them took a seat as well. “So, Sam, what do you think of the house so far? And the kids?”

The new au pair took her time to answer. “The house is… big. It’s uh, I mean, sure, it looks scary. But once inside, it doesn’t feel as bad as the rumors make it out to be, you know?”

Kate nodded firmly, seemingly satisfied with that answer. Simon grinned playfully and leaned forward on the table as if about to discuss a secret, “You don’t have haunted houses in Sunnyvale?”

Sam chuckled bitterly at that. Apparently, it wasn’t a secret for anyone the place she came from. If only they knew the full story. “No we don’t,” she looked down and shook her head. “Sunnyvale has its different types of hauntings though.”

“What about the kids?” Kate blurted out.

“The Sunnyvale kids?”

“What? No! Constance and Josh,” Kate scoffed, and sent an unimpressed look in Sam's way. 

“Oh, right,” Sam laughed nervously. She desperately hoped she wasn’t blushing in embarrassment. Kate was staring at her very intently, studying her. But it was, somehow, not getting exactly the effect she was hoping for in Sam. Because yes, maybe Sam was deeply intimidated. But she could also tell that Kate’s harshness came from a place of being protective of the kids and caring about them. “They seem great, really,” Sam eventually replied. “Constance is bold and Josh is an introvert, but I’ve dealt with kids like that my entire life. I’m going to try my best with them though, that’s for sure. I just… have to get to know them.”

At that moment, Kate and Simon exchanged a look. Sam had no doubt it was true that those two had been best friends for a long time. It seemed like a really important conversation was silently happening between them. Finally, Simon spoke up.

“No, you haven’t worked with kids like them,” he replied, suddenly very careful with his words. “No offense, you know? But, bold and introverted mean different things in Sunnyvale and Shadyside. Here they mean something more along the lines of survivor and traumatized.”

A not completely discreet cough from Kate got him to stop talking. “No, I know, I’m sorry,” Sam was quick to apologize. They weren’t completely wrong. “I know, it’s just, well… I don’t know anything… I mean, what, uh, why…” She ended with a sigh and slumping in her chair, knowing there was no right way to ask the questions she had in mind.

“Constance’s parents died two years ago,” Kate said. She was speaking almost in whispers, but it nearly startled Sam, who didn’t think she’d get any sort of explanation. Afterward, she would hope she hadn’t. “Cindy Berman and husband. Plane crashed. Then, last year… her aunt. Christine killed herself here on the property. Really gives you some perspective into all the fucking rumors, doesn’t it?”

Afterward, Sam was beyond speechless. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find a thing to say. That’s when Simon joined in.

“And Josh, he… uh, well, he is not one of the Bermans,” Simon was struggling to explain. “Look, he has his own fucked up past, okay? But I can’t tell you more because Deena would totally kick my ass. It’s their story to tell, you know? The past is the past anyway.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. At least, she hoped she appeared thoughtful. Not too thoughtful though. Just thoughtful enough for someone that has perfectly normal reactions to hearing the name of a very particular co-worker. That momentary panic at least gave her an idea of how to reply to the tough conversation. A change of subject.

“What about you guys?” Sam asked. “How did you end up working at the manor?”

Instantly, Kate seemed to relax. “I just like bossing people around,” she grinned, earning laughter from the other two. “My aunt used to work here. Alice pays well enough. And if you don’t get scared easily, it’s not a bad place to live in.”

Sam smiled at her and then looked at Simon, noticing how he didn’t look half as relaxed as Kate this time. “What can I say?” he smiled in a way that kept a lot hidden. “It pays the bills. It’s close to home. And I fucking love food.”

The au pair decided it wasn’t time to push for more information. Instead, in that brief moment of silence, she turned her head to look through the door at Josh and Constance working on the stairs. They were doing well, but their day was far from over. From her point of view, she had no way of seeing the man standing on the other side of the stairs. Tommy Slater had been standing there for longer than he could remember. He was still wearing his red flannel shirt, still holding on to his axe, still looking impossibly sad, cold, and lonely.

--

As she made her way to the greenhouse, Sam tried to convince herself she wasn’t nervous at all. She had no reason to be anxious at all. Deena Johnson was another one of her coworkers. Sure, maybe she pulled Sam out of a pretty embarrassing breakdown the previous night. Yes, maybe she had an incredible smile that almost painfully reminded Sam of feelings she had spent a lifetime running from. But… she reached the greenhouse before coming up with a reason not to be on edge.

“Hi?” she called out, tentatively stepping inside the place.

“Over here,” a voice replied from the back of the greenhouse. A voice that was like no other Sam had ever heard.

“Um, hi, Deena,” Sam approached her slowly. “It’s me, uh, Sam.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Deena replied, a small smile on her lips. She stood up from the ground, where she had been kneeling down to work on one of the multiple plants that filled this space. “What do you have there?” Deena asked, nodding toward the plate Sam was holding in her hand.

Sam looked down, as if she had forgotten what it was she was carrying. “Simon,” she blurted out.

“Oh. He looks a little bit different than I remember.”

That made Sam laugh nervously. “I mean, it’s your breakfast,” Sam said. “You didn’t come down for breakfast and Simon asked me to bring it to you.”

Deena nodded slowly, and accepted the plate from Sam’s hands. Then she moved to one of the two chairs at the back of the greenhouse and sat down, inspecting her breakfast.

Afterward, Sam might chastise herself for it, but at the moment she couldn’t help but blurt out, “You’re welcome.”

That earned her an annoyed sigh from the gardener. “Listen, you don’t have to do this,” Deena said.

“Do what?” Sam wondered, taking a seat on the spare chair.

“Play nice with us, with me,” Deena explained, nearly whispering the last part.

“I…” Sam stuttered, she was definitely taken off guard. “Well, we are coworkers now, we live under the same roof, I think-”

“I think you have no idea what you got yourself into. This place, and everyone here, is doomed,” Deena interrupted her. “You’re Sunnyvale, we are Shadyside trash. I know your type. I only hope you’ll run away before the kids get attached to you.”

For a moment, all Sam could do was stare, frown silently at Deena, as the other woman nonchalantly got started on her breakfast, as if she hadn’t just put Sam’s entire mood upside down. It was interesting though, the way Deena chose not to mention the fact that she skipped breakfast just to avoid a set of blue eyes that were too dangerously pretty to wander into Shadyside.

Sam jumped out of her seat, and took a deep breath to reign in her feelings. “You don’t know me at all,” was all she said before walking out of the greenhouse.

--

The rest of the morning passed by in a blur of hard work, mostly for the kids. Surprisingly though, at one point they stopped looking so bothered about it. Josh wasn’t the kind to complain out loud, but Sam noticed from the way his shoulders relaxed and his lips almost started to smile. Constance, on the other hand, was pretty content complaining as much as possible, but she seemed happier doing something new, entertaining, and different from studying. They especially seemed to enjoy working outside.

Sam had wanted to avoid the unkind gardener as much as possible, but she had already planned this, so there was no turning back. This was part of the kids’ education, hard work, and Sam was proud of her methods. The one thing she wasn’t proud of was the way the gardener was making her feel. Her plan to avoid Deena had backfired. Deena, Kate, and Simon were lounging in the garden, while Sam guided Josh and Constance on their work.

As hard as she tried, Sam couldn’t stop herself from second-guessing what her new coworkers were talking about. Were they talking about her? Good things? Did Kate and Simon feel the same way as Deena? Were they criticizing her? Those smiles on their faces, was that a good or bad sign? Deena’s posture on that chair, the way she held a cigarette, played with the delicate chain hanging from her neck, teased her young brother, locked eyes with Sam precisely once… did it mean anything at all?

--

The rest of the morning went by easily. Sam dragged Josh and Constance back to the house to continue cleaning, and they had to comply. Tragic as it seemed, they couldn’t complain to anybody. Kate, Simon, Deena, even Alice in the safety of her own home, they all would have supported Sam’s teaching methods at best, would’ve laughed in their faces at worst. 

Things couldn’t be perfect though. Sam would scold herself for letting her guard down at all. She had been in one of the bedrooms, assisting Constance with cleaning the windows, when it happened. One second it was just a window, showing the green grounds around the property, nothing more. Then the next second, all Sam could see was his face. Dark. Just a shadow. Furious. Disgusted. Head tilted. Observing her. Unforgiving. Horribly familiar.

Sam let out a yelp of surprise and stumbled backward. She caught herself before falling down to the floor, but not before Constance saw her. At first, the girl chuckled, but she sounded somewhat genuine when she asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m- uh, I’m okay,” Sam replied, voice trembling. “Give me a minute.”

She was out of that room before hearing the girl’s reply. She couldn’t move fast enough, but her legs were trembling. She couldn’t shake that image of her mind. Her own particular ghost. The monster that she hadn’t been able to leave in Sunnyvale. Following her reflection everywhere she went.

Sam stumbled down the stairs and out of the house. She finally found refuge behind one of the big bushes on the sides of the entrance. A place where she could break down in peace. She couldn’t stop the tears, and she could hardly breathe, and she was so scared.

“Are you okay?”

The question makes Sam choke one of her sobs. Of all people that could have caught her at this moment…

“I get it,” Deena cautiously added, from a safe distance away. “I swear I had the same reaction after I met Constance.” She could barely see Sam, hiding behind the bush, but she guessed that privacy was exactly what the blonde wanted. “If Josh’s the problem though, just let me know. You aren’t allowed to, but I can totally kick his ass.” That earned her a tearful chuckle from Sam, which was a very good sign. “Just so you know though,” Deena added, “That’s usually my spot for having an emotional breakdown. Now I have to go to this other corner and there are spiders and shit in there, no privacy at all.”

This time, there was a genuine laugh coming from Sam. The tears had stopped, and she managed to find the strength to look over her shoulder, show her face to Deena and say, “Thank you.”

Deena softly shook her head, dismissing Sam’s need to thank her. “You’re doing better than most people could,” she said. Seeing Sam smile sadly, acknowledging her tear-streaked face, Deena insisted, “I mean it.”

There was a pause then. Sam opened her mouth, desperately wishing she could say something else. All she wanted was to ask Deena how she could be so kind and so cruel as if a switch was flipped inside her. But Sam feared that saying more than two words would make her cry again. Deena took that as her cue to go on with her day.

“Back to work then,” Deena said, starting to march back into the house. “Stay strong, Sunnyvale.”

Definitely done with her tears, Sam was having trouble holding back her smile. She tried to sneak another glance at the gardener, but Deena was gone, leaving behind only a pleasant warmth in Sam’s heart and a firm smile on her face.

--

Nine years of teaching had taught Sam a lot. She knew how to handle kids, that was for sure. The unruly ones, the proud ones, the ones that struggled, and the ones that shined brightly. Simon had been right when he said she had never worked with kids like Josh and Constance. Still, she was prepared to deal with Josh picking up spiders from the garden, and trying to scare her. She didn’t lose her ground even when Constance’s attitude sometimes made Sam feel like she was the teenager out of the two of them.

What she did that day wasn’t the worst Sam had to do for one of her students. Still, it was pretty awkward explaining to Deena how her younger brother had massacred the rose bushes to give the flowers to Sam.

When the two women arrived at the scene of the crime, it was a huge mess. Josh had picked a few roses for Sam and destroyed the rest. He must have been pretty aggressive to earn that small limp he had when he walked toward Sam a few minutes earlier.

The teenager fell to second place in the forefront of Sam’s mind though. She was slightly more preoccupied about the furious gardener gripping the broken stem of a rose as if it were a knife.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Deena yelled, not for the first time in the past minute, and tried to walk away.

“Hey,” Sam stopped her with a firm tone and a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll deal with him, it’s my job.”

Deena took a deep breath. She was pretty much shaking with anger still. She pursed her lips, suddenly aware of the way she had been yelling at the innocent au pair for god knows how long now. She wasn’t good at apologizing though. She slumped her shoulders and exhaled.

“It’s just… he should know better than this,” Deena said bitterly. “We are lucky to be living here. He knows he has to stay out of trouble.” She looked up into Sam’s blue eyes and the careful attention she found there nearly turned her breathless. “That was the deal,” Deena added softly, taking a moment to gulp nervously. “I made a deal with Cindy Berman years ago, when we had nothing. Josh and I could live here, and I’d pay her by working on the grounds of the manor.”

Sam nodded slowly, with a barely-there smile that let Deena know she had listened, and understood. “It’s okay,” Sam said. “I don’t think it’ll be a big deal. I won’t say anything if you don’t.” The two women exchanged a smile. “It’s just a few flowers-”

“It’s not just a few flowers,” Deena protested immediately.

“I know, I know,” Sam quickly said. She was tiptoeing the line between fearing Deena’s temper and being endeared by how protective she was of her plants. “They’re also a weapon, apparently.”

Deena tilted her head in confusion. “Ah,” she said when she looked down at the rose’s stem she was still holding in her hand. She couldn’t say anything else though. Sam had taken the initiative to reach out and gently pry open Deena’s fist to take the stem away. That’s when they both noticed there had been thorns involved. “Shit,” Deena cursed.

“Um,” Sam mumbled pensively as she stared at the couple of red spots on Deena’s hand. “You know, to be a teacher, you have to learn a thing or two about first aid. Do you want help?”

Deena was already shaking her head. Her wild curls shook with her movement. “No, it’s okay- fuck!” She exclaimed in pain the moment she tried to close her hand again. Now there were a few drops of blood on her palm. “Fine,” she grumbled. 

--

Deena was so upset about having someone bandaging her hand, that Sam found the whole process much easier than she had expected. It was a little bit like dealing with a kid, not that she would ever admit such a thing to the gardener. 

“So, you really like those roses, huh?” Sam asked while cleaning up the little wounds in Deena’s palm.

“They’re some of my favorites from the entire property,” Deena shrugged. “I like all these plants more than most people, that’s for sure.”

Sam nodded, picking up the bandages. “Why would he do this?” she asked. “Josh, I mean. He doesn’t seem to be the type to vandalize the gardens.”

“He isn’t. There was one bad fucking influence and…” Deena replied. Her words were hiding a lot, but her resentful tone warned the au pair against making any further questions. Instead, Deena looked up and added, “or maybe… he just really likes you, Sunnyvale.”

Sam laughed at that, and ducked her head to avoid those gorgeous brown eyes. Surprisingly, she decided to admit something right then and there in the otherwise empty kitchen of the manor while holding on to Deena’s hand. “You do know I’m not even from Sunnyvale, right?” 

“What?” Deena asked. She looked caught off guard for the first time since Sam met her.

“You guys don’t fact-check your gossip, huh?” Sam chuckled. “I was born here, in Shadyside. I moved away when I was little, after my father died, but… I guess, now I’m trying to find my home, you know?”

“Right,” Deena replied.

She blinked slowly, and her eyebrows furrowed into a small frown as she took in the information, the significance of Sam sharing it with her, and the unknown reason why the word home sounded so perfect coming from Sam’s smiling lips.

After a brief silence that felt like it stretched for hours, Deena cleared her throat. “Well, uh, thank you, for giving me a hand,” she said. The mention of her hand made both women realize that this entire time they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. They pulled away from each other quickly, but nothing could have wiped the smiles off their faces. “It’s not the worst I’ve dealt with so I better get back to work. I guess I’ll see you around… Sunnyvale.”

Sam didn’t even attempt to hold back her grin. Distantly, she wished she wasn’t blushing too much, but that was it. She turned around to watch Deena walk away from the kitchen. Then she was rewarded with the sight of Deena looking back at her once before crossing the doorway.

When she was alone again, Sam leaned her back against the counter and sighed. It was a mixture of contentment and exhaustion. She had tried her best to maintain a good impression in front of Deena, and now she could finally relax. She was starting to understand her better too, how Deena’s boldness came from a good place of being protective over her brother, and maybe even over the whole property. Sam’s exhaustion though, didn’t come from anywhere near Deena, the teens, or the house. She was only realizing how absurdly debilitating it had been to keep up a false version of herself at all times during those years in Sunnyvale. Slowly but surely, she was leaving all that behind.

Sam took a deep breath and straightened up. Then she started to walk out of the kitchen following the path Deena had walked a minute ago. She didn’t have to look back before crossing the doorway, she just kept walking. This way, she missed Ryan Torres’s presence in one corner of the kitchen. Lonesome, unknown, fumbling with the knife he still carried at all times.

--

“Josh! Constance! You guys are way too old for this kind of game!” Sam was yelling as she walked around the house. She didn’t understand how Kate hadn’t heard her yet.

She wasn’t scared. Just because they had turned off all the lights and she was only barely familiar with the house didn’t mean she should be scared. The kids wanted to improvise a game of hide and seek to avoid going to bed? Fine. Sam wasn’t scared of the dark. In the darkness she couldn’t see her reflection and whatever cursed company she would find there. If she had to drag a couple of teenagers to their beds from their ears then so be it. 

When Sam caught sight of the curtains of one room moving strangely, she hurried towards it and pulled at it, but there was nobody there. She sighed, disappointed, stressed, but not scared, not yet. She heard footsteps behind her, and when she turned around, she distinctly heard the front door of the house open. Chills ran through Sam’s spine. It was unsettling, but not too bad, right? She would be deeply upset if she had to chase a pair of teenagers out in the middle of a storm, but it could be worse.

It could be worse… Maybe it was much worse than she imagined. That was the thought going through Sam’s mind when, very slowly, she turned back around to face the window again. At first, it looked like a blur. Then, she feared it was that same ghostly silhouette that followed her everywhere. Somehow, it was worse. Somehow, the figure moved closer and it became clear. There was a man standing on the other side of the window. Tall. Dark hair. Hazel eyes. Smile that never, under any circumstances, would have been mistaken for friendly.

Sam took a step backward, so did he. Then she took off running. Not in the direction some might have expected. She wasn’t running away to hide. She ran out of that room, taking the fireplace poker from its stand and gripping it with force as she rushed out of the house.

“I’m going to call the police!” Sam yelled while the rain poured down on her. “I’m going to call the fucking police!”

She ran toward the window where she’d seen that man. He was nowhere to be seen but, as if it was all part of a pattern, she stumbled across the worst possible scenario.

“Sam?” Josh mumbled. He was just standing there, shaking with cold, drenched from the rain… then he just crumbled down, falling to the ground, unconscious.

[bigfrozenfan-fanfics]

Chapter 09 - Sisters

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: each Friday on (link)

Remarks: all my chapters contain carefully selected music tracks. It’s your own decision if you want to use them or not while reading. The purpose is to musically support the respective mood of the plot. If you can please use a browser for reading (not the Tumblr app) due to the text formatting and music.

As Halvard slowly walked back to camp with the other men, still thinking about Yelana's news, he wanted to see what was going on in the camp at first and looked for his family. Linnea and Honeymaren were supposed to look after the toddlers of the camp during the Norting. But he only saw his wife, who was clearly having trouble with the little ones. Where was just his daughter? He was starting to get angry and looked in their kota first.

~~~

“Get up, Honeymaren, come on! You're still sleeping. You had only one important task this morning,” someone called out in an angry tone and shook her rudely by the shoulder.

“Hmm ...?” Honeymaren slowly opened her eyes and blinked. She saw the respectful figure of her father standing above her, now with his hands put on his hips, and his face indicating nothing good.

“Where were you last night? What's the matter with you?”

She got up slowly and struggled with her tiredness. “Nothing, I was just ... on the beach at sunset and fell asleep. Didn't wake up until after it was nightfall. Sorry.” She yawned and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. “It won't happen again, papa, I promise.”

Her father shook his head, “Come on, daughter, your mother is wondering where you are. She's all alone with the naughty boys from the camp and you were supposed to help her mind the little ones today.”

“Why didn't you wake me up?” she asked, looking at him from drowsy eyelids.

“That's what we did this morning when we went out. However, you didn't hear us obviously. Otherwise you always get up right after us ...,” he said, looking at her without understanding, “What's wrong with you recently? Come on, get dressed and then get out.”

She looked after him as he walked out first. Then she put on her clothes and followed him.

She walked wearily between the kotas and already heard the laughter of several small children from a distance even before she saw her mother and the cheeky gang. She stopped and watched for a moment. Linnea looked a bit overwhelmed as she tried to keep everyone under control. Honeymaren finally walked on and clapped her hands loudly. The children's heads spun around and two of them ran towards her laughing and calling her name. She didn't feel like it; she thought, but seeing her mother like that touched her conscience. It was time for an apology.

~~~

Ryder was on his way back to camp and had a brooding expression on his face. It had been his first time at this kind of meetings and he wondered why everything has to be kept from the Arendellians. They were their friends now, and he liked Kristoff above all, because he was like him and let Sven talk the same way he did with his reindeer. But he was not allowed to tell them anything about the Great Ting and what was exposed in it. This made him feel sadness and at the same time frustrated and guilty. How could he tell Kristoff that they were all in great danger?

Ryder was so lost in thought that he was startled when someone suddenly spoke to him. He looked up in surprise and realized that instead of going to the camp and to Kristoff, he was now standing in front of his reindeer herd. One of the two young boys who had been looking after them in the meantime said, “Hey Ryder. Why are you looking so downheartedly at? Are you sick or something?”

Ryder put his usual smile back on, “No, no. There's nothing wrong with me. I was just thinking. You gonna be okay with the herd?”

The two nodded and the other said, “Sure, everything's fine. Why?”

“I just wanted to say good morning to Kristoff but was all in thoughts and made a wrong turn.”

They looked at each other and then at him again and laughed. “Made a wrong turn?”

Oh, man, that was embarrassing now; Ryder thought to himself and rolled his eyes. “Well, it happens, right? It's probably never happened to you guys before.”

“Nope,” they said, as if from one mouth.

Ryder took turns looking from one to the other and he couldn't help but notice this little grin on their faces. Well, this could become cheerful, he thought and said, “All right. You take care of everything and I'll be off again.” He turned around at the last word and walked back into the woods with big steps. They already had an answer on their lips, but could only look after him irritated. Ryder grinned and whispered, “No, boys, not with me. Not today.”

~~~

Elsa had been walking all morning across the camp and had looked around. Many were not on the road, there were mainly women at work, and younger Northuldra to be seen, no men. Elsa wondered about this for a moment, but was distracted, because she was constantly greeted friendly and even the children knew her name. Elsa was amazed and greeted everyone back with a smile. Why does everyone here know me, if I am not from here; she asked herself. What had Myrtha told her? She was a good friend of the Northuldra. But even the little children here addressed her with 'Hello, Elsa'. There was something the healer kept from her.

She mused, remembering that Myrtha had hesitated at first. Then she recalled the letters from Queen Anna that she had read, very personal letters to her, with many things she didn't understand. Not yet anyway; she thought. She absolutely had to find her sister and talk to her, she was certainly still here somewhere in the camp.

Elsa looked around and then went back to her kota on another way. Finally she saw people with clothes looking different, sitting in front of a cold fireplace, her sister with her back to her. She could recognize her by her strawberry-blonde hair, now when she remembered her evening visit. The man opposite her was dressed similar to the Northuldra, but looked somewhat different. And then there was this little guy who had frightened her so much that night. Now in the daylight he did not look so scary to her anymore at all. He even seemed to be quite funny and somehow she felt such a strange feeling of closeness, but could not tell what it was exactly.

She walked towards the small group that was talking lively and stopped behind Anna. The man's jaw dropped when he noticed her and stared at her. This little white guy also seemed very surprised.

“Kristoff? What ...,” Anna asked and turned around. The next moment she jumped up and hugged her sister not a second later. “Elsa!”

Elsa felt taken by surprise, but withstood the reflex to retreat. Maybe that was her usual greeting; she thought and put her arms gently around Anna. She felt herself being pulled into a firm and intimate embrace, and Anna didn't let go so quickly.

After what felt like a minute, Elsa finally cleared her throat and immediately got more air, when Anna held her at half an arm's length and looked deep into her eyes. Their gazes fixated each other and in some way it seemed that they wanted to explore their bare souls. With anyone else this moment would have been unpleasant for Elsa, but here and now something special came into being between the two of them, something that somehow seemed familiar to her. She could feel it clearly and see it in Anna's deep blue eyes.

None of them spoke a word. Anna looked a lot like her, she could see that now. Since she had seen her own reflection in a brook yesterday, she now also knew her own countenance. The main difference was of course the color of her hair and she was also a bit smaller than her. But otherwise she almost saw herself standing before her. They just stood there and explored each other with glances. Until finally somebody said, “Guys ... um ... we're still here too?”

They separated and Anna sat down again, but pulled Elsa down, next to her. She didn't mind and so now she sat beside her sister on a log in the camp and felt all eyes on her.

“Well, that was a little weird for me now and you all look like you have a lot of questions for me. But believe me, it's the other way around, because I still can't remember anything.”

A tense silence arose and finally Anna took the floor and said, “We'll help you, Elsa. Just ask us anything you want to know.”

Elsa looked at her, “I know that you are Anna, my sister, and the Queen of Arendelle, and that I come from there. But they are not my memories, I was only told this. That’s all I know for certain, I do not remember anything else. Even after I read all your letters, nothing in them felt familiar.”

Anna nodded understandingly and slightly touched Elsa's arm. “Perhaps I'd better introduce the others to you first. This here is Kristoff, my fiancé,” she explained, pointing at him with her other hand.

Kristoff didn't seem to know how to handle this situation and greeted only softly, “Hello, Elsa.”

“And this is Olaf, he's ...,” Anna faltered. How only could she explain this, she wondered. “He is ... well, he's a snowman, and ...,” she didn't know what to say without reveal Elsa the whole truth.

But Olaf, however, was unaware of such concerns and, as straightforward as he was, came out with the facts. “You magically created me, Elsa. Without you, I would not exist.” Anna's head fell on her chest, her hands in front of her face. Now it was out. Oh, Olaf; she thought.

“I did what?” Elsa asked stunned and stared at him in disbelief. Then she looked at Anna and then at Kristoff and put on a wry grin. “Sure. Honestly, guys, I may have lost my memory, but you can't be serious. Magically created! Plus a ... snowman, whatever that is. Then what am I if I could do such things?”

“You've had this ability since you were born and you're the only one who can do things like that,” Anna finally admitted. “This blessing was a gift.”

Elsa's mouth still remained open and for a few moments she could not say anything in reply. Then she recovered from the shock and said, shaking her head, “I can't believe it. Please pinch me so I can wake up again.” Anna took it literally and pinched her upper arm hard.

“Ow!” Elsa rubbed the spot and searched in their faces in front of her, but everyone looked at her only curiously. “You all really mean it.” Everyone nodded silently. “A gift ... why and from whom? How can you give something like this as a gift at all? Besides, I feel perfectly normal and have no idea how to do that.”

“Well, Elsa, that's one of the many reasons why I'm going to bring you back to Arendelle,” Anna said, smiling affectionately and stroking her cheek tenderly. “Home.”

~~~

---

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know.

Tagging: @karma26 @whether-near-to-me-or-far @annaofthenorthernlights @igotelsapregnanthelp

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is the Captain's playlist:

Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

This is one of my favourite like old WWII style songs, I just think it’s beautiful and really great to dance slow to (at some point in my life I will dance with my husband or wife to this song in our little kitchen, and then my life will finally be complete). It’s in Doctor Who (in The Empty Child) and Jack and Rose dance to it in front of Big Ben, like it’s a really great scene in one of the best episodes of Dr Who ever. So good and a great WWII song.

Soldier - Trixie Mattel

Yes, I know this is about Katya’s issues and everything that happened with that but like it is also like very accurate to the Captain’s arc. Like “soldier, take your time” is like yeah?? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe the Captain is even remotely aware of the fact he’s gay cause like I don’t reckon he understands love or the fact that he’s got feelings like that, I don’t think he knows so yeah take your time to figure it out yeah, Captain.

We’ll Meet Again - Vera Lynn

This song seems to have taken a new meaning in pandemic times but Havers leaving Button House and (I assume) never returning but like the Captain staying at Button House completely in the dark as to what happened to Havers and therefore living with the possibility of Havers returning.

HEAVEN - Troye Sivan & Betty Who

Obviousssss, but this song was such an integral part in me figuring shit out about my life. Like, I was 14 and a massive Troye fan when it came out and (growing up in a working class, strict religious, small town family) the music video was literally my first understanding of the fight for queer rights. I knew about LGBTQ+ identities and identified as a variety of queer labels at the time I was completely unaware of the entire struggle that had come before me and seeing photos and footage of this fight for the first time was O.o Anyway, I'll stop talking about myself and say that I’m incredibly happy with the hc of the Captain trying to learn a bit more about queer history in his journey to accept himself.

In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars

The poor Captain, let the man love I beg. I have so much love for stories and hcs of the Captain being sweet and being in love like pls ily.

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

This might actually kill his gay little soul but by good it would be worth it!! I’m gonna go off on a bit of a philosophy tangent but what were ya expecting from me honestly: the sample used in Achilles Come Down is an extract from a 1942 essay by Albert Camus who, alongside Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and the like, wrote about the concept of ‘the absurd’ which is a tricky concept but a reallyyyyyy simplified version of it is basically the idea that humans constantly search for a meaning and purpose for life and the universe but the universe does not provide answers to that which causes human distress. Basically, what I mean to say like isn’t that concept just so Captain?? Like he searches for meaning in war and can’t see life beyond the war because that provides him purpose, you know?? But yeah, it’s a banging song and I’m sorry about the tangent.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

Ya saw this one coming :P Well he just is a good old fashioned lover boy so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

William, It Was Really Nothing - The Sm*ths

Even just the name being right is like *chefs kiss*. Yes there are lines in this song that are just shit and reallyyyyyyy show the views of M*rrisey and his general shitty behaviours.

It’s a Long Way to Tipperary - John McCormack

It’s just a fun song.

You’re Somebody Else - flora cash

LGBTQ+ staple really, ik it’s about being trans but I wanted to include it because of the recent Ben Willbond interview when he talks about how he’s interested in the contrast of a confused authoritative figure. Like the Captain is such a contrast and I love that in characters.

It’s Been a Long, Long Time - Harry James

Like I’ve said repeatedly, I wanted at least a little bit of time specific music for each of them I could. So yeah there’s a few for the Captain, WWII music is such a vibe tbh.

The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel

I’ve always interpreted the song as being about loneliness and well, Captain my boy that you. Like he’s literally surrounded by people 24/7 but is so very alone. When the others are all watching tv in Redding Weddy and the Captain is just sat in the window watching for Havers is just so pretty and I think it’s really telling of the relationship he has with the others.

The Arrow and the Aim - Nadia Reid

Pretty pretty song, the voice is *mwah* but that’s irrelevant.

Ramblings of a Lunatic - Bears In Trees

Okay but like yes. The Captain is so alone like despite being around people literally all the time - not being able to escape you might say. Is he aware he’s different? Like what goes on in his head, will we ever know?? Cap, you gotta start talking to people, man. You gotta open up cause you will go crazy, Ik it’s been 70 years fella but seriously you’re gonna go crazy soon.

Death with Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Just a beautiful song, and yeah with the Captian being the way he is and so focused on the war and military and the idea of "death with dignity" is pretty prolific. Given that we're fairly sure the Captain never saw any action, would he be considered to have died with dignity?? Maybe, maybe not idk.

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General - Arthur Sullivan & John Reed

That one scene where Alison is trying to sleep and the Captain is just sat beside her bed singing this. Like that’s so funny XD It’s his little head bob as he sings like that’s so good.

Kiss Me Goodnight, Sergeant Major - Arthur Askey

I remember my nan had an Askey record and she used to play it all the time and this always made me laugh cause 5 year old me couldn’t get the image of a really strong and tough soldier being all motherly and yeah I just wanted to include it :D

Teddy Boy - Paul McCartney

The Captain’s name is Teddy, I take no debate on this. Just the idea of the Captain’s backstory, like a childhood backstory for the Captain genuinely makes me cry. I know a lot of people have shared their stories of their interpretation of the Captain’s childhood and they’re all sad and I love them all :’) (Specifically a big fan of Operation Keep Calm on AO3 and what they’ve done with the Captain’s character and story, 10/10 would recommend but it’s not finished and I really hope it is at some point ily).

O Captain! My Captain! - The Static Shift

Just an interesting song, yeah? “I believe I’m in my prime”/“In my bally prime”, you get it XD

John My Beloved - Sufjan Stevens

I love this song (no I’ve never seen the film and no don’t really intend to) It’s just sweet, you know, and the religious elements etc yeah that’s good.

[bumirang]

Turtle, Duck, Dragon, Horse: Ch. 8 excerpt

It’s a chilly afternoon when Bumi sits in on Hana’s worst training session since she arrived at Air Temple Island.

Under Jinora’s supervision, she and six other novitiates were walking the circle in a coordinated effort to create a sphere of solid wind nearly twice her height. Intimidating, but she’d managed it before. She actually wasn’t doing too terribly, until she caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye. Maybe it was excitement or performance anxiety or just the distraction, but that’s when it all went wrong. She immediately fell out of step with the others, but the more she tried to correct for it, the more unstable their formation became, until the sphere was a roiling squall-ball they were struggling just to contain.

Master Jinora stepped forward and summoned a gust with thought alone. “That’s, uh, impressive, but if you’ll slow down and back away, I can safely disper—”

Then it exploded, with a roar like a thunderclap in reverse. Thankfully, they were shielded from the worst of it by a barrier whipped up by their teacher, but it was a close thing.

Hana’s ears are still ringing when she makes in Bumi’s direction, ignoring the accusatory glances from her fellow novitiates. It’s obvious to all of them who messed things up, but they can’t prove anything, so whatever. Bumi, in contrast, just waves happily, absentmindedly petting Bum-Ju on his shoulder.

She stops five feet away from him and plants her hands on her hips. “What’re you doing here?”

“Hi to you, too,” he replies, slightly offended.

“Sorry, that sounded… I mean, did you need me for something?”

“Nope.”

“So, what, you popped by to watch me be a screw-up?”

“Well, I like to get a feel for where the newbies’re at. Didn’t think you’d be out with ‘em.”

She deflates a bit. “You saw how hopeless I am. I’ll be stuck with the newbies forever at this rate.”

“Nooo, no… Your bending’s just, uh, chaotic.” His smile is wide but not very convincing. Oh no. He’s trying to be nice. Her face burns at the realization. Pity is the last thing she wants from him, of all people.

He continues, “Form was great, though. Right, buddy?” He glances at the dragonfly-bunny, who shrugs. “Yeah, he thinks so, too.”

“…Thanks.” She stares past him, at the ground, wishing she were anywhere else. At the same time, Bumi’s easily her favorite person on Air Temple Island, and it’s usually such a treat being the focus of his attention. If only she could be anything other than a pathetic misfit in his eyes.

He puts a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, kid, don’t get hung up on it. We’ll figure it out.” His voice has gone all serious, worried.

“You don’t have to… be nice to me.”

“…Huh?”

“Because you feel sorry for me. I don’t want…” She feels her eyes flood with hot tears. In a panic, she slaps a hand over her face, harder than she intended. “Ow.”

Bumi clears his throat and calls over her head, across the courtyard, “Hey, Jinora, gonna steal Hana for a bit!”

“Oh, we’re all done!” she calls back, sounding less rattled than she probably feels. “No theft required.”

“Great! Seeya at dinner!” His hand slides down to Hana’s arm, sending a wave of goosebumps shivering along her shoulders and neck. She almost jumps when he mutters into her ear, “I know a good place to talk. No lookie-loos.”

Then they’re hurtling through the air, and she forgets about her shame for a sweet thirty seconds. His grip on her arm is firm, but she latches onto him anyway. Just survival instinct, she reminds herself, as she hears him laugh with her ear against his chest. He wraps an arm around her then, and she feels safer than she ever did on the ground.

Bumi sets them down in a little grassy clearing on the eastern edge of the island. It’s not far from one of his favorite places to have class, but without any obvious paths to it, you’d have to survey the island from the air to even know it exists. Or just know its layout like the back of your hand. It’s late afternoon, leaving most of it in the shade from nearby trees. What sunlight there is glows gold on dead grass. Framed by two stunted trees jutting from the cliff’s edge is the skyline of Republic City, painted gold as the grass. Bumi pulls a little ta-dah pose in front of it, which gets a smile out of her.

“That’s more like it,” he says, wearing his own smug grin. “Now what was that about you not wanting me to be nice?”

“I just meant…” She grasps at the air, like the words she needs to complete her thought are buzzing around her. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to go out of your way. For me.” It seems like a moot point now.

“Why not you?”

“I’m not cut out for this. You’re wasting your time.”

He laughs softly to himself and crosses his arms. For a moment, Hana’s terrified that he might be mocking her, but when he looks back up at her, his eyes are kind, and a little sad. “I know how ya feel,” he says with a shrug.

“How could you poss—”

Bumi just raises an eyebrow at her, and she slaps her hand over her face again. It stings worse than the first time, but she figures she deserves that.

“Fu— Nngh! I’m such an—” Hana drops down onto her haunches, holding her throbbing face in both hands. Maybe with enough pressure, she can shove the tears and snot back where they belong. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.”

She hears him sit down across from her. “M’not mad, kid. Like I said, I’ve been where you are. More or less.” She steals a glance at him, seated maybe a foot away and wearing the city itself like his own personal aura. “I see you busting your ass to do what comes so easy to others, and I know what that does to ya. Shame and doubt. Anger. A lot of anger. It can make ya feel worthless…”

She nods and eases into a cross-legged sit, mirroring him.

“S’not true, though. Everyone’s worth something. You’re worth a lot. Trust me, I’ve got an eye for talent.” Bum-Ju, who’s been hovering at a respectful distance, picks that moment to park himself on her head. “See? So does he.”

Hana wipes her runny nose, trying to hide it at first, but Bumi’s expression is so genuinely affable that she feels silly for thinking he might judge her. He’s on her side. A goopy face won’t change that. For lack of better options, she wipes up with a sleeve.

Hands dry, she reaches up, tentatively, to pet the dragonfly-bunny. “Is it okay if I…?”

“That’s up to him.”

The spirit doesn’t flee at her touch. In fact, he leans into it. She gasps as she runs her fingers through his fur, which is easily the softest, silkiest texture she’s ever felt, like yarn spun from cloudstuff. To her surprise, he gives a happy little chirrup and plops into her lap, landing on his back.

“He says to tell you he wants belly rubs.”

“Heh. Okay.” Petting Bum-Ju is supremely soothing, like lemonade on a summer’s day. His quiet little chirps merge and blend into a purr, and she smiles again. How could she not?

“It… It’s humiliating. I knew training wasn’t gonna be easy, but this is like being a little kid all over again.” She runs a finger along the edge of one of the spirit’s strange insectoid wings. Like the fur, it doesn’t feel entirely substantial. “I was supposed to be an earthbender, y’know.”

“Yeah? Says who?”

“…My dad.”

“Hah! Ain’t that always the way?”

“Heh…”

“You don’t give me earthbender vibes at all. You’re too… squishy.”

Her head shoots up to glare at him, and she notices how the sunlight’s shifted since they arrived. Twilight’s creeping up fast. “Did you just call me squishy?”

She’s caught him off-guard, and he blushes at the unflattering implications of such a word choice. “That’s to say… Well, the way rocks aren’t, right? Does that make sense?”

“No…?”

“You’re, I dunno, airy.”

“So I’m squishy like air…?”

Bumi runs a hand through his hair in actual frustration. “Forget I said you were squishy!” He looks relieved when she giggles and clues him into her teasing.

“My point being,” she continues blithely, “I may be the worst airbender here, but I had no earth talent whatsoever. Dad was not pleased. I never even wanted to do it, except to please him.”

“Sorry.”

“I have a little brother, though, and he’s brilliant with earth. Stone, glass, metal. You name it. Guess it worked out for Dad in the end, but I always… Even though it was crazy, I always wanted to fly. Not in an airship, but like the birds do. It never seemed fair.” She winces at how naive that sounds. “After Harmonic Convergence, I thought, y’know, finally. This is who I’m supposed to be.” Sympathy fills the lines around Bumi’s eyes and mouth, and she looks back down at the fuzzy spirit in her lap. She gives him some experimental chin scritches, which seem to go over well. “But it’s been more than three months now, and I’m still… I’m just a screw-up.”

“You’re the best teaching assistant I’ve ever had.”

Hana blinks. “Aren’t I the only one you’ve ever had?”

“Nah, I used to spend summers teaching new recruits arts ‘n’ crafts.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Says somebody who has no idea how boring it can get on a tour of duty! Keeping your hands busy staves off Sea Madness. And fistfights… Well, that is until somebody badmouths another guy’s macramé. I’ve been called as a witness at some crazy court martials, lemme tell ya.”

“I… Wow, okay. I guess you’d know.”

“And before I forget, let’s get one thing clear,” says Bumi, leaning forward and pointing right in her face. “I like being around you. Aren’t we friends?”

What’s the appropriate response to that? “You… friend… with me?” Well, it’s definitely not that. “I guess I didn’t… I thought you were just trying to figure me out. What’s wrong with me, I mean.”

“That, too, but hey! We have fun, right?”

“Yeah?”

“There ya go! Friends!”

She laughs. She can’t help it. Seeing the way Bumi’s face lights up only makes her laugh harder. Bum-Ju launches clear of her lap as she doubles over. Collapsed on the grass, she finally admits, “Okay! We’re friends! I guess!”

“So…” Only when she sees his shoulders relax does Hana realize how tense he’s been this whole time. “You always wanted to fly, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. More than anything. Thought I could grow up to be a bird if I put in the effort, but I was forced to develop an overactive imagination instead.”

“Sounds like a fun story.”

She pushes herself back into a sitting position and picks bits of grass out of her hair. She could do with a trim, now that she’s thinking about it. “Not a whole lot to tell. I was basically a toddler, and I don’t remember much.”

“Yeah?” Bumi’s grinning at her. He grins a lot, to be fair, but he has a different style for every occasion. Goofball, smart-ass, encouraging, nervous, and so on. This is a pure look of amused contentment, just for her. It makes her feel all gooey inside, but in a nice way, no snot involved.

“Hm. Well, okay. Mom did tell me about one time she found me eating worms out of the garden.”

“Hah! What’d it taste like?”

“Slimy dirt, probably? I only know it happened from Mom. Like I said, toddler.”

Bumi scratches his neck and looks off to the side, like he’s debating something with himself, then says, “I jumped off cliffs a lot.”

“Wow. Dark.”

“Into the water! Got pretty good at climbing. Diving, too, but that’s just, y’know, falling with style.”

“Umbrellas.” He looks at her expectantly, eyes glittering like chips of ice. They might be the palest she’s ever seen, and if they aren’t the most beautiful, they’re definitely in the top five. That’s a strange thought. Despite his age, he’s actually quite handsome. In fact, the wrinkles themselves emphasize his features in a way she didn’t realize she appreciated until just now. They tell a story of a life well-lived.

A quirk of his eyebrows reminds her that she’s in the middle of a conversation, during which she’s just said “umbrellas” and stared at him for ten seconds.

“W-well. Um. I saw this character in a storybook who flew around with an umbrella, so I found the biggest one I could and ran down the street, screaming my head off the whole time.” Hana feels herself blush at the admission. “That part seemed important for some reason. I was, like, five.”

“How’d that go?”

“As I recall, I broke the umbrella, and several people called the cops. They thought I was escaping from a murderer or something. Can’t imagine why.”

Bumi just laughs. Hana revels in it until he quiets enough to keep telling him embarrassing things about herself.

“Then there was the time I spent a month collecting loose feathers around my neighborhood and stuffed them all in my shirt,” she says, with a bit of added pantomime. “Was gonna jump out the apartment window, but I chickened out.”

“So… it worked?”

“Shut up. You are horrible, and I hate you now.”

“Minus 57 points for disrespecting your elder.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault they dress me like a giant baby.” She tugs at a corner of the scarlet shawl sewn around the shoulders of her standard-issue Air Nomad pajamas. They both snicker.

Then Bumi sits up straight like he’s been struck by lightning. “I got it!”

“Hm?”

“A wingsuit. Try one on!”

“That’s not really allowed unless you’ve qualified, though.”

“Eh, if you get in trouble, I’ll smooth it over,” he says with a little hand wave. “It could be just the confidence boost you need to get over whatever mental block is tripping you up.” He gestures at his own outfit. “Think about it. The right uniform can totally change how you see yourself. And I should know.”

“That’s a good point, but…” Hana shrugs and makes various non-committal noises. What she doesn’t mention is her discomfort at the snugness of the wingsuit’s fit. As ridiculous as the pajamas look on her, they’re at least loose and comfortable. Squeezing into a skintight flight suit to practice—probably clumsily as ever—is just another humiliation waiting to happen. It does give her an idea, though.

“Remember when I told you how I’ve had a bit of Kyoshi Warrior training?” she asks with a little smirk.

“I remember you not flipping me, even after I asked nicely.”

“Well, I might still have my fan lying around somewhere…”