#So anyway ffviii ambient remix and shower time

[chainsawmascara]

I'm still trying to process "i changed my gender for you."

"Ah, yes. Pretending to be a transwoman and going on estrogen will definitely win back the gay transman ex i financially abused and trafficked. This will certainly fix the unfathomable damage i did to his self-worth over the course of five years. This is the true key. The gaslighting and manipulation are certain to fade from memory, provided i can insist I'm making myself prettier for him. So long as i continue saying our child loves me more and insisting he doesn't do anything as a parent, going on estrogen will be the final piece of the puzzle to win him back so i never have to work again."

Who DOES THAT. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

Why would you think that would WORK.

The bonus "i guess you just want me to suffer forever" is amazing because 1. No 2. That's what you wanted for me, and 3. I would have to care so much, and i care the least amount required to handle "well i guess you're my son's father so i have no choice but to deal with you for now."

"I thought we'd be together forever-" thank the gods for every friend who verbally slapped me in the face to prevent that.

My life has changed so much. I woke up happy, i picked up my pastels without thinking, I'm about to willingly take a shower without spending a week talking myself into doing it. Healing feels good.