#So I’m slowly scaring him away by commenting on my disorder lmao

[coldest-weather]

at this point I’m not even hiding my disorder from some of my more mentally ill friends bc I kinda like seeing them worried about me

[jeniiii]

Fears || p.p

Summary: In which Peter desperately tries to protect you from something he can’t see.

Words: 930

Warnings: Sad, addresses having chronic, recurrent nightmares - Please do not read if this happens to trigger you.

Comments: This is 2 days late because I got suddenly my life started to be really hectic, lmao, BUT YAY DOUBLE UPDATE, AMIRITE (How to Break a Heart part will be posted soon so like, it's pretty exciting). Also, this is in no way trying to romanticize mental disorders, as recurrent nightmares are usually caused by PTSD, depression and anxiety.

**********

You don’t think he understands.

That you’re scared of something that isn’t there, that you’re hiding from something that doesn’t exist. That every shadow that follows you is so, so close to killing you - engulfing you into a darkness with only his name on your lips - and you wish you could run. You wish it wasn’t there, that it wasn’t haunting your mind. It’s slowly inching towards you and you don’t know what to do - kill it, kill it - oh, but you don’t understand that it can’t be killed.

It’d be killed by itself before you could get your hands on it - and even then you’d die along with it.

You’ve tried to explain it to him - it’s eating me alive, I don’t what to do, I’m scared I’m scared - but he can’t see the inner workings of your mind. He can’t see the insanity that lurks behind your thoughts, the voice that echoes behind every dream. You say you don’t have dreams anymore - even a fairytale can be twisted into a nightmare - that the only thing you hear at night is your own screams. Peter doesn’t know what’s wrong, what’s hurting you, and he’s scared.

He’s scared that he can’t read you.

He’s scared that he’s losing you.

That you’re being taken away by the shadows; dragged away by your nightmares and stuck behind the decaying walls of black that lined your head. He doesn’t know how to stop this. He wants to though. He tries everything in his power to make you feel safe, to understand what was shadowing behind your every step that no one else saw. He wants to understand because he needs to.

He needs to save you from the “nothing” you’re running from. He’d run along with you as long as you were okay.

As long as your fear diminished into the darkness that created it.

~~

He heard your screams.

It was late at night - shadows floating along the walls of the room, a chill settling onto his skin. He’s comforted you in the darkness before - it’s okay, I’m here, I’m here - but this time it’s different.

This time you’re not there.

He looks for your figure and he’s sweating; chest heaving as he throws himself out of bed. His long strides across the hall quickly turns into a sprint, calling your name into the silence around him. He doesn’t see you and he’s scared. You could be gone; slipping away from his life as he dreams of you and him in the night. He’d never forgive himself if you were.

He frantically runs into the living room, heart stopping momentarily.

“Hi Pete.” Your voice is a little shaken, lips twisted in a crooked smile you couldn’t hold.

“Are you okay?” It’s the first thing he asks as he makes his way towards you, relief settling into his system.

“I’m fine. I just h-had a nightmare. It’s nothing, really.”

You’ve been saying it for so long now, that you know he knows that nothing meant you were being eaten alive.

That it was consuming you in the moonlight.

You try not to overreact, but you think there’s something wrong with you. No, you know there’s something wrong with you. Why your mind is plagued with these images that won’t go away, that you’re seeing things you never wanted to see in the daylight, nonetheless in the darkness of your mind. It keeps you awake every night, but you don’t know how to stop it.

And that’s what you’re scared of the most.

Not being able to control your mind, that you’re stuck in between the certainty of Peter’s arms, but the doubt that swims around every thought in your head. You feel yourself suffocating, scared of things that aren’t real, that can’t hurt you. But you can’t trust your head anymore.

Not when demons have swam around for too long.

Peter takes in your features, noting the crease that forms on your forehead, watching as you bite down on your lip. Your eye’s are trailing every inch of room, just waiting for your nightmares to pop out of the shadows.

It was only a matter of time.

“Peter?” Your voice breaks through the silence, eye’s meeting the ones of the boy beside you. “How do I stop them?”

He doesn’t answer, words dried off his lips, eyes staring right back at the girl with the broken soul. He doesn’t know how to answer, in all honestly. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be haunted by your dreams - by your nightmares - how it feels to never be able to sleep, scared that you’ll be taken by something that isn’t there.

He doesn’t know what to do.

But -

But maybe that’s enough.

“Y-you can’t.” He’s not sure that sounds very assuring, watching as your figure tenses from his words. “Wait - it’s just… I-I don’t know how to stop them. But I do know, that if they started, they have to finish. And I promise you I’ll be here to protect you from any demons that plague your mind. I’ll be there till they stop, and I’ll be there after. I don’t how to stop them, but I’ll be there till they do. Just know they will. Every monster has an end, no matter how vicious.”

You’re taken aback by his words, lips slowly pulling up into a smile. Soon, you find your arms wrapped around his neck, face buried in his chest.

“Thank you Peter. I… I love you.”

He smiles, pressing a small kiss to your hairline.

“I love you too.”

[masterpiecejongin]

“Don’t trust the boy and his demon, Darling”(Chapter 1)

Prologue - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Pairing: Human!Jongin and Demon!Kai x reader Genre: thirller, fantasy, smut Warnings: Idk if there should be warings for this. There’s a bit of mental illeness, violence kinda, sassy Jongin and Kai lmao

It was my first day of school and I was already tired of going. I hated school, I’ve never really had an aptitude for studying and well, in my conditions it didn’t really matter if I had good grades. I had no parents to make proud nor enough money to go to university. I snorted lazily, resting my chin on the palm of my hand while maths teacher explained things I absolutely didn’t care about. The lesson was almost over and I was already ready to go home when I heard my name being called. “Y/N lives there!” said a girl in the middle of the room, pointing at me. I looked at her, my confused stare shifted to the teacher. “Miss Y/L/N, you have to bring these notes to Kim Jongin.” he told me, collecting some papers. “Kim Jongin?”I asked. “Yeah, he lives in the big house at the beginning of your road.” my best friend whispered, she looked a bit worried, as if she didn’t want me to go. Finally understanding which house they were talking about, I packed my backpack and started to walk out of school. “Ah, I wished they didn’t send you there.” my best friend said, sighing. I raised my eyebrow as she continued. “Kim Jongin, you don’t know him since you're new here..but he isn’t really normal. He doesn’t really come to school and he some mental problems. I feel like he’s a dangerous psycho.” she said tapping on her temple. “I just have to give him those notes, I don’t have to become his friend, don’t be too dramatic.” I sighed. We parted at just few meters from the house, and after she waved her hand I walked till the big gate. I observed the house, it was big and majestic. There was no doorbell near the gate and since it was slightly opened I decided to go in. Walking on the concrete path and climbing some stairs I got to the big wooden door. Even the door was opened and I enter it slowly. “Excuse me?” I asked, my voice raised a bit. “Is there anybod-” “Oh! Hello!” the high pitched voice of a woman interrupted me, making me jump a bit. The woman welcomed me with a warm smile, she was probably around 60 years old, and she was wearing a maid dress. She invited me to enter in the living room and I followed her explaining why I was there. “Oh yeah, I know. School called me.” she said. “This Kim Jongin has to be important if school notices them.” I thought. “Can I offer you some warm tea miss?” she asked me while I was looking around. “Ehm..Y/N” I smiled to her. “But, it’s not necessary, I just need to give them to him and then I’ll go..” I couldn’t even finish the sentence and she was already in the kitchen. I started to look around again, the interior was even more beautiful, it was so elegant. The big crystal chandelier sparkled hit by sunlight. I noticed some photos, hanged at the wall. There was a couple at their wedding, and then again with their baby. I looked as that child grew in the photos. That child’s eyes seemed more cold as he grew up, just when I was about to shift my attention from the photos I noticed another boy was always with the one who I assumed was Jongin. The other boy had blond hair and he was absolutely identical to Jongin and he had… “red eyes?” “Here you go!” the maid came back with a tray. She carefully laid it on the coffee table, and she neared to the photos. “That one is our young master Jongin.” she pointed at the black haired boy. “Does he have a brother?” I asked. She keep looking at the photos, shaking her head. “No, he’s the only son.” I raised my eyebrow. Than who was that blond guy. I was about to ask her when I saw a form in the dim light of the stairs. I looked at him in the eyes, making him widening his. “Oh! Here there is!” I screamed, running after him. “Wait, Miss Y/N!” the maid followed me. Running upstairs I followed the blond in a bedroom. The space was wide, and slightly illuminated by sunset light. On my right there was a coffee table and two couches in black leather. The blond was there and he motioned me not to say anything. I looked at my left and a big bed occupied almost all the space. There I saw him.Kim Jongin. He lazily sat on the bed, his head slowly lifted up and his eyes locked with mines. For a moment I couldn’t breathe properly. His stare was cold and his pitch black eyes almost burned holes on my body. The maid came in running and she bumped into me slightly. “Oh, young master I’m sorry I tried to stop her.” her voice was interrupted by Jongin’s hand gesture.  The boy got up from the bed, his body was a bit muscular, his legs covered with black sweatpants and his upper body with a large white shirt. Damn, he was hot. He walked slowly toward me and he stopped at few centimeters away from my body. He bent over toward me, his face was so close to mine. My eyes studied his face’s details. His eyes was even more dark from that proximity, and his lips was plump and rosy with some snicks. When my eyes met his again he smirked a bit. “Boo!” he said suddenly startling me. My reaction made him laugh and behind me the blond guy laughed with Jongin. Shivers travelled down my spine. Jongin literally ripped the papers from my hand and throw them in the air. They flew and fell on the ground lightly. “Go away.” he whispered. “What?” I asked a bit offended. “Go away!” he yelled, this time. He backed till his desk and started to throw on the ground objects from it. My eyes widening, i was so shocked that I didn’t even realized the maid had grabbed me from my waist to drag me till the doorway. “I’m sorry but you should not come here again. I’m sorry.” she apologised again and then disappeared in the other room. I was about to go out, very confused and a bit scared when a familiar voice called me. “You!” I turned to see the blond guy. “What are you, exactly?” I asked him. He replied me saying his name was Kai and he was a demon. “How are you able to see me?” he asked, his red sparking eyes studying me. “Ehm..I can see odd things?” I said, not really confident in my response. “Ahh, did it started when you saw yourself in the mirror for the first time?” he asked, smirking proudly because of his joke. I faked a laugh and then continued.”So how are here? Did Jongin called you? Why are you so identical to him? Are you related to his mental disorder?” I flooded him with questions that didn’t had answers. I snorted and then muttered something going out the house. I started walking real fast, ever more confused after my talk with Kai. When I looked back I saw Jongin looking at me from his window, I stopped and his lips formed a smirk while he closed the curtains. Ugh creepy.

Jongin climbed back on his bed, leaning his back to the headboard. Kai came back in the room and sit on the couch facing Jongin and waiting for him to say something. “She’s interesting.” the black haired commented. Kai nodded and asked what was his plan. Jongin was still thinking. “I mean, shouldn’t we keep an eye on her. She could be that one..” Kai told him. Jongin nodded and sighted. “We should..” he then looked at the blond. “Go to school and control her.” he ordered. “What? Why do I have to go there? What if she does something to me. We don’t know her super powers.” the demon complained. Jongin sighed again. “Fine, I’ll come too.” he agreed smirking thinking about the interesting girl.

A/N: Heyy everyone. So this is the first chapter. Do you like this story? Let me know by leaving some comments too. Anyway, next week I’ll be less busy so I’ll update faster. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and wait for the next one. As always sorry if there are any mistakes. Have a good day/afternoon/night! ♡