#So I think he's probably got an idea of some of the mechanics and anatomy of sex

[tswwwit]

The newest installment of the Cult AU was so amazing and gratifying! I do have to ask about Dipper's reaction when Bill suggested that next time he hide *in* his bed - should we assume that Dipper just truly doesn't think there's any possibility that Bill would want him like that, or does it potentially reflect some truly non-existent sex ed within the cult? Did the cultists have relationships like that within the cult?

I hope you post this AU and your other shorter works on AO3, id love to be able to bookmark and comment.

Thank you for your kind words!

Dipper's reaction was mostly because the cult had sub-par to non-existent sex ed. Though to be fair, even if he was aware that Bill was, ahem, an option, he definitely wouldn't think there's any way he'd want Dipper like that.

[karmathehalflander]

Some symbrock centric Venom the last dance fic ideas I have. Feel free to use these ideas if you want! (You have to send me a link though because I’ll want to see it) You can change any details and mix and match ideas these are just concepts I’ve been thinking about for a bit that I wish I could write but I’m to busy to.

Please keep in mind I wrote all of these notes out at 3 AM so if the wording doesn’t make sense that’s probably why. This is a bit long so I added a page break

1: Post VTLD. When Venom separated from Eddie he left a big chunk of his consciousness inside Eddies mind. His physical form is completely gone, but similar to how Venom revived Eddie, Eddie could rebuild Venom’s body. (In this universe this would not reignite the codex, that only happens when a symbiote revives a host) however, this process is going to be extremely, long, tedious, and exhausting. Eddie will need to connect deeply to his body and Venoms consciousness requiring a lot of meditation. They would ask for Mrs. Chen’s help and she would be absolutely delighted. Doing this would also require Eddie start taking better care of himself. And along this wild journey of connecting deeply with their shared body and mind their bond grows stronger and they learn to communicate and Eddie finally expresses his love for Venom. The actual meditation sessions could involve a lot. Visiting each other’s memories and learning about their time before they met. They learn about the ways both of them experienced a lot of isolation and trauma, Venom learns more about Eddie’s family and past relationships, Eddie learns about Venom’s past hosts and other symbiotes he knew. They talk about each others feelings for once, and Eddie learns a lot about human and alien anatomy along the way. This fic would be silly at times, angsty at others, but always deeply romantic and intimate. And of course Eddie succeeds in forming Venom a new body and the first thing they go with it is kiss for the first time.

2: Post VTLD Eddie is extremely distraught. He has a new apartment in NewYork but is not handling the loss well. He’s been drinking too much and barely eating. Anne and Dan are trying but they live a while away and are married and expecting a baby there’s only so much they can do. After a particularly rough night in which Eddie probably gives himself alcohol poisoning he dreams of Venom he’s there and telling Eddie “you need to take better care of yourself I didn’t sacrifice myself all heroically for you to go and die from neglecting yourself” and every night from them on Venom is there in his dreams. Eddie thinks he’s going crazy and this is a coping mechanism. Why is this happening? IDK it’s up to you.

3: similar to #1 Venom’s physical form died, but Vee left a part of their consciousness inside Eddies mind and has been gaining strength. Venom can’t regenerate his physical form anymore. But his voice is still there in Eddie’s head. And later on Venom could learn to project a physical form to Eddies eyes by messing with his brain. Maybe even simulate touch. you could tie #2 with this one. Like maybe at first to connect they need to be asleep because of the change in brain activity.

4: Takes place a few weeks after VTLD and Eddie has moved into a new apartment in NewYork he has a stable job but is in extreme mourning. He starts to feel sick and is progressively getting worse as the days go on. Dan checks him out and realizes Eddies body got so used to Venom just existing inside him as well as helping regulate his systems, eat bacteria/viruses, and aid his digestion that now that he’s gone his body is destroying itself from the inside. Eddie is dying. Various treatments aren’t working and Eddie is distraught that Venom died for nothing. lot of ending options. Venom returns and saves him last minute, Eddie does die of this but it’s implied they’re reunited in the afterlife, straight up hurt/no comfort heavy angst, the world is your oyster. The fic would probably be pretty short at most two chapters but it could definitely be stretched out way longer I just don’t have many more ideas for this particular scenario

5: Eddie sacrifices himself for Venom instead. Eddie finally gets to repay all the care Venom has shown for him. Is Eddie permanently dead? Up to you I just like this concept.

6: Venom is alive, but he was reformed from that small bit of biomass Venom left behind in the bar. Because of this, Venom’s consciousness and memories are still developing and he doesn’t remember much. All he knows is that he had to get back to Eddie, even though he doesn’t know who that is. They get to rediscover each other all over again as Venom slowly recovers their memories. This fic would switch between Venom and Eddie’s POV and probably start in Venom’s POV.

7: A small oneshot where Eddie confides with Anne about how he feels like he took Venom for granted in the exact same way he did to her. Hurt/comfort, you get the idea.

8: I just need someone to write a fic where Eddie goes to grief counseling/therapy lord knows that man needs it. Anne and Dan probably have to make him.

9: Eddie has a new apartment in NewYork and visits the statute of liberty every day. There’s another person that’s always there as well. This idea is bare bones but I thought I would include it just in case.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

How does one erase themselves from time and become a conceptual entity. I want to punch Lord Foaming Sky the Celestis in the metaphorical face for what they did to my afterlife and think becoming a conceptual entity would be the best way to do this?

How do I become a conceptual entity?

Evolving into a conceptual entity ventures into physics, metaphysics, and advanced temporal mechanics. Here are some steps that might be involved:

1️⃣ Step 1 - Master Temporal Mechanics: First up, you'll need to learn a LOT of info by having an unparalleled understanding of time and its mechanics. This includes manipulating potential timelines and understanding the intricacies of fixed points and temporal paradoxes.

2️⃣ Step 2 - Study Conceptual Physics: Next, it's time to hit the books, but not just any books - these are the kind of books that make the Matrix look like an episode of the Teletubbies. You'll need to understand how mortal concepts like 'existence,' 'identity,' and 'consciousness' can manifest in the physical universe, and also how they can be manipulated.

3️⃣ Step 3 - Transcend Physical Form: Begin the process of transcending your physical form. This could involve advanced meditation or exposure to raw artron energy (among many other methods). The goal is to detach your essence from your physical body and bind it to a concept or idea.

4️⃣ Step 4 - Bind to a Concept: It's time to pick your eternal theme. Choose something timeless and universal like 'justice' or 'vengeance' to bind your essence. This will link your existence to the very fabric of reality, so choose wisely.

5️⃣ Step 5 - Erase Physical Ties: Carefully erase your physical existence from the timeline. This involves ensuring that your new conceptual form is not paradoxically undone by your physical removal from history, so it's probably the most mind-boggling step.

6️⃣ Step 6 - Fortify Your New Existence: Strengthen your new form by integrating it into the collective consciousness of the universe. You want to be a legend whispered across galaxies - you need to become a 'living' myth - a concept that only exists in the minds and hearts of sentient beings.

7️⃣ Step 7 - Confront Lord Foaming Sky: Now, for the grand finale: taking on Lord Foaming Sky. As a conceptual entity, you won't fight in a traditional sense, so you can't rely on the jujutsu lessons your mum paid for to fight him. Your confrontation will be metaphysical, challenging his essence and what he represents. However, given his track record of failures, your battle might be less about might and more about outsmarting him. The guy's an idiot.

🚫 Disclaimer

This guide is purely speculative. Attempting to erase oneself from time or become a conceptual entity could have unpredictable and potentially catastrophic consequences on the fabric of reality itself. GIL does not approve of such practices and does not accept any responsibility for the death or metaphysical death of you or Lord Foaming Sky or any other person/s involved.

Related:

How might the Celestis digest?: How the Celestis might digest, highly theoretical.

How does religion work on Gallifrey?: Overview of the history and perception of religion throughout Gallifrey’s history.

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Rpg Anon: So yeah I said I'd like to make some changes to the Hajime's Shiva Persona design thoughts I said. First things first, I based my thoughts on Shiva from actual Hindu depictions, Smite, Record of Ragnarok, and SMTV/Persona. Now for some new ideas plus some changes:

First of all, I changed my mind slightly on the two floating mechanical arms. They'll still be mechanical somewhat, but I want them basically attached to his back now. Kinda like he's got a cybernetic backpack with arms that serve as his upper extra pair. Take a look at this image below (I got it from Smite itself; do i still need to credit it?)

This is Smite Shiva concept art. You see how his two upper arms come from behind him and behind his other arms specifically? That's kinda what I think would be better now. Except again, mechanical appendages. Basically he's truly got the normal two arms human anatomy but he's bringing cybernetic enhancements (doesn't necessarily mean it has to be fused into his skin and body tho). I don't want his upper mech arms to be overly giant tho. I prefer the same size as his real arms.

Now I can get into the smaller but finer details. First, I don't intend on him being full mechanical. I kinda intend a Shiva Persona to still be the classic and traditional design (refer to SMT/Persona design and definitely again to the Smite design; theyre downright correct and accurate to what Shiva looks like). In other words, he'd definitely be more flesh than cybernetic. So yes, he'd still have the basically shirtless muscular warrior look with the tiger pelt/loincloth, the snake around his neck (mod, you can modify this part so it matches up with the Hajime themes and mecha themes if you want, however you want. Just makes sure it's still wrapped around his neck), and etc. That said, I wouldn't mind him wearing awesome metal/cybernetic gauntlets on all four arms.

Side note: Definitely blue skin. This Shiva Persona design for Hajime has to have it no matter what cuz it's goddamn Shiva.

Next, he has Izuru hair. Gotta cram in some Hajime stuff and you can kinda believe Shiva would have such long hair if he untied it.

Next, he has a face mask similar to Izanagi's. Also, he's got the green and red eye color Hajime's got. Straight up fanservice here.

Next, his third eye is going to be one hell of a sci-fi fantasy shit. You ever seen Raiden from Metal Gear Revengeance? You seen how he has that black face mask? Yep, I want this Shiva to have something similar where some mechanical pieces from the side come to together to form the traditional Shiva Third Eye design over his face. And then yes, the design then glows and shoots motherfucking flaming laser beams of death. Look up pictures online of Shiva killing Kama; you'll see what it looks like.

Now for some slight animation changes. For any physical move, I don't want him to still be in his idle/summoned pose of him meditating and levitating when doing it anymore. So now, he starts out the meditating and levitating pose but leaves out of it when doing the lunging stab or slash. The jojo style rapid fire punching is the same with him leaving the pose to do his thing. He only stays in the stance when doing his offensive or support magic spells. The Tandava unique skill is the only exception cuz I need him to start dancing.

(Omfg I just realize I have literally recreated Mecha Shiva. Kill me now.)

I probably forgot some other changes I wanted to say but i think I'm good for now. So yes, these are some details to Hajime's Shiva Persona in my vision. What do you think?

//Cool.

//Like, that's literally all I have to say. That's a cool idea.

//Also, this might be the most obnoxiously long ask anyone has ever sent on this blog, lol.

-Mod

[viky2318]

Chapter 3: your best friend

It had been a few days. Alphys tried to explain to him what happened back when he first woke up. She said he was the result of an experiment of hers: she was trying to create a monster from scratch and that she decided to make a skeleton because it was all just bones and so simpler than other monsters, but she remained pretty vague about how she did that or any other detail. She said he felt weird because she probably messed up something, but she didn’t specify what she may have messed up. Alphys did her best to help him heal up that huge hole he had in his chest, but sadly she hadn’t been able to completely close it. She also kept calling him Duo: he didn’t feel like it was actually his name, but since he couldn’t think of anything better he simply decided to go with that one. “Duo”. A short and simple name. He remembered perfectly, the day when he woke up, hearing Alphys calling him “D-1”. Maybe she just misspelled it out of nervousness. Alphys constantly seemed nervous. Almost anxious. Especially when Duo was around. Maybe she was like this with everyone, but the skeleton never saw anyone else in the laboratory and therefore had no idea. Yes, laboratory. Duo spent the last 4 long days in the laboratory. Aside from the “surface lab”, there was an underground area which was huge, with many rooms (some of them open and some others locked) and interesting things in nearly each of them. Alphys gave him a small spare room with a table and a bed she brought in (it looked kinda like a hospital bed, but he didn’t mind). Somehow, the skeleton found all that place and the machinery terribly familiar. He had no idea why, but it was interesting and unsettling at the same time. Maybe also that was just a “mistake” made by Alphys while creating him? he didn’t know, and he was pretty sure if he asked her he would just get a vague reply without clear explanation.

That day, Duo was alone. Alphys went out to meet the king and talk about some things, so the skeleton was free to do nearly whatever he wanted without her getting concerned because he moved too quickly. In the previous days he explored all the available rooms and all the interesting machines, so it was time to take a look at that big bookshelf on the upper area of the surface lab. At first sight the bookshelf was split in two: the left side had human comics and DVD’s of cartoons, divided by series and in alphabetical order, and the right side had books of many other things: anatomy, mechanics, chemistry, magic, history, electronics… all of them neatly organized in alphabetical order by author and by subject. Duo took a book from the right side and read the title. “Robotics- book 2”. Oh, he knew that book! He read it so many times when-

wait what.

The skeleton sat at a working table nearby, reading the first page of the book. Then the second. Then the third.

He knew that book. He couldn't remember it, but when he read the pages he felt as if it wasn't the first time. Even more interesting was the fact that, despite this book explaining very complex and advanced concepts, the moment he read those he realized he already knew them. He kept reading, trying in the meanwhile to understand why. Alphys said she created him, so maybe she programmed his mind to know that stuff?

Duo got so lost in the reading he didn’t notice the completely out of place golden flower looking at him. “Why, howdy!” the flower exclaimed, taking the skeleton completely by surprise as he shouted. He looked down at the flower, his eyes wide in surprise. “wha- I- who are you?!” he exclaimed, confused and surprised. Another monster? Here? wait- monsters usually don’t look like plants- he didn’t even finish formulating his thought the flower spoke again. “Golly, I’m sorry friend! I didn’t mean to startle you!” he explained, frowning a little. Duo took a few breaths, calming down again. “... n-no worries. I just… really wasn’t expecting it”, he replied. The flower huffed in relief. “oh, thankfully. I thought you were scared of me! I don’t even know why I thought so, but for some curious reason it still concerned me”. The skeleton frowned, then shook his head. “no, no, I wasn’t scared of you. Though you still scared the hell out of me…”. The flower chuckled, then climbed up the table and got a little close to the skeleton. “Alright, then let’s do this all over: Howdy, I’m Flowey! Flowey the Flower!”, the flower exclaimed. He seemed like a pretty cheerful guy. Flowey extended a leaf as if he was offering it for a handshake, looking at the skeleton with a friendly smile. “... I am Duo, nice to meet you”, the skeleton simply introduced himself, taking the leaf and shaking it gently. “Duo, huh? Nice name! Are you new around here? I never saw you, and trust me when I say I know everyone”, Flowey asked. Duo was about to explain to the flower what Alphys told him, but then thought that before spreading an information it was better to make sure it was correct. “well- uhm- I honestly don’t know. I probably- uhm- hit my head and… yeah, I just don’t remember”. Geez, that sure was a bad lie. He was a terrible liar. The flower remained silent for a moment, frowning, but then unexpectedly said: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, friend. I’m sure you’ll remember one day”. Was that guy serious or was he just making fun of the skeleton? How on earth could he believe such a bad lie?? Duo decided to not question himself any further and hope this guy actually believed him. “... so, what are you reading? looks like a nice book”, Flowey asked. The two ended up spending a lot of time chatting. Flowey was a surprisingly good listener, and also one of a nerd. He knew almost more stuff than Duo! and sure that wasn’t a simple task since every time the flower mentioned a concept Duo almost always remembered what that was. He seemed like a friendly guy. a bit childish from time to time, but still a nice person to be around. After a while he went away, saying that he had stuff to do “stay safe young man! I'll be watching you”, he added before disappearing into the ground. Nearly at the same moment, the door of the lab opened and Alphys came back. “H-hi Duo!” the lizard started as she quickly came to him. “T-the king was so happy to know you’re-

Duo opened his eyes, feeling slightly tense. He sat up and looked around, feeling like someone was watching him. 

Just a dream. It was just a dream. Just another damn dream.

He didn't like the fact that he was dreaming so much lately. Usually he had blank nights where he dreamt nothing. This sequence of dreams was starting to concern him. Those weren't even casual dreams like- I dunno- whatever a normal person would dream. Those were memories from the lab. He hated that place. People died there. Dozens of innocent monsters. He just couldn't figure out why on earth he would dream about-

Focus. He had better things to do than to bother because of some old memories. He got up and noticed Kate wasn't sleeping. Did he wake up late again? He walked downstairs and saw her sitting on the couch with  Paps as the two chatted quietly. “Oh- Duo! Good morning! I'm sorry if I woke you up, but- I was having hard times sleeping. I'm so excited for today's second trip!” The human exclaimed the second she saw Duo coming in. Trip? What was she- oh right. The Ruins. The skeleton felt a little nervous at the idea of going there again, the simple thought of that creepy pile of dust laying straight at the entrance giving him goosebumps. He gave a glance to the clock: 6:32. He woke up at a decent time today. Still too soon, but better than the day before. “I'm happy to know you're excited buttercup, but next time try to sleep a bit more. It's not healthy to sleep too little”. Paps glanced at Duo with a severe frown. “says the one who woke up at nearly 5 am and didn’t even think about going back to sleep”, he commented. Kate gave him a curious look, hearing nothing but garbage noise, but Papyrus didn’t translate.

Napstablook came by around 8:30, and the four ended up reaching the Ruins’ entrance around 10 am, Kate continuously talking about this awesome place in there without describing it, saying she wanted to keep it a surprise. Duo took a deep breath before walking in the long corridor that led to the house, but when he opened the door… the dust was gone? There wasn’t even a grain of it, as if it was never there. Did he imagine it- yeah no, he wouldn’t imagine seeing a corpse laying on the ground. Where did it go? Not that he wanted to go look for it now, but he seriously felt concerned. Duo ended up letting aside that unsettling thought and kept going, not wanting to let Kate get lost in there. The place was as beautiful as the day before, with its ancient walls and breathtaking views of Home. This time the group didn’t linger around as much as the day before, mainly because of Kate’s energical walking- almost running- to this mysterious awesome place. She didn’t slow down a single time, but this didn’t bother the three monsters- two of them floated and the third had a good physical resistance. After some time, the human girl started walking even faster. She turned around to the others for a second, smiling widely. “I know this place, we’re close! c’mon Duo, walk faster! You won’t regret it, I promise!!” she exclaimed. The skeleton raised a brow, but did as she told him to not lose her in that labyrinth of corridors. Then…

A huge, circular room. The walls were made of pure gray stone differently to the ones in the rest of the Ruins, and some old pillars stood straight under the delightful sunlight that came down from a hole hundreds of meters higher. And straight under the light… Golden flowers. Big, soft, slightly cartoonish and yet real flowers, their petals colored in a bright yellow shining under the sunlight. Truly beautiful flowers… and yet, with a taste of bittersweet. Golden flowers were the King’s favorite flowers, a symbol of rebirth and hope, and a Golden flower was the one and only talking flower the skeleton knew and hated. What an ironic coincidence, right? Duo sighed quietly, looking at those wonderful plants gently swinging in the delicate wind present in that room only with a slight frown. Suddenly someone pulled his sleeve, forcing him to walk closer. “Look Duo- look! I fell on these from up there, and they were still perfectly intact! And I didn’t get a single scratch, you know? every one of these flowers feels like a huge pillow!” Kate eagerly exclaimed, looking at the skeleton with a bright smile and an excited look. Duo took a few seconds to get what she said, but then smiled gently at the girl and crouched next to her, taking in his hands one of those flowers without ripping it from the ground. “Of course. It is because Golden flowers are made of 50% magic, and so they feel way softer than normal flowers. Not only that, but Golden flowers’ petals are this soft also to better absorb the Barrier’s magic radiations in order to live for centuries”. Kate sat on Duo’s leg, listening to him with eyes wide in wonder. She loved every time someone explained her things, either them being things about science, magic, mechanics- everything was fine. She said it was because a lot of things worked differently on the surface. Because on the surface there was no magic. Of course, when humans locked the monsters away all the magic got locked with them. Human wizards casted spells thanks to wands and scepters that stole magic from other beings. Without monsters and their magic auras, magic plants soon stopped growing up there and magic stones lost their enchantments. The girl once told them how humans started hunting down other humans that still had magic powers, either out of fear of those almost rare people or out of hate towards what others didn’t have anymore. They burned their bodies and left the ashes to the wind, uncaring if these people tried to help others with their powers or if they kept them for themselves. The surface this little human knew was truly different to the one described in monsters’ history books, and even more different to the Underground. That was also the reason why Duo liked listening to Kate. It was difficult for a mind like his to reason without applying the magic factor to things, and there were so many things that humans discovered in the past decades that seemed like coming out from a fantasy book.

The four hung out in that little corner of the world for a few hours, either chatting about whatever went through their mind or simply enjoying the place. For a little while they laid down with Blooky to do what they called “feeling like garbage”. Duo wasn’t sure why they called it that since it was nice laying down with friends, but he didn’t bother asking them. They said it was a family tradition, so maybe the reason got lost with time or never existed. The skeleton, most of the time, looked up to the source of the light. It was so high he couldn’t see the top of it, but Kate said that hole was inside of a little cavern close to the top of Mount Ebott. but if it was inside of a cavern, how did the light reach them? Did the cavern have another hole that went to the surface? And even so, wasn’t the huge hole too deep to let the light reach the room? Was the sun really that bright? The skeleton kept making himself questions, sometimes asking them to Kate out loud, and he was so taken by the nice environment that he didn’t even notice time passing. After some time he fell asleep, the warm light feeling comforting and the sound of the flowers to the breeze soothing.

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[partnersatfazbear]

Sketchbook Pages 41, 42 (according to my notes)

Hope you guys are enjoying all these double uploads of art and fanfic =XD I’m just really wanting to leave yall with something to tide yourselves over!

To give some background info, I’ve been: drawing a lot of anatomy, especially legs; drawing a lot of non-FNAF fan art (because I’ve been playing old games as a comfort mechanism--I am absolutely miserable without my things and it sucks)

Page 41: I scribbled a lot of notes... Spoilers for RS Chapter... 17? Some fluff, some crazy!Will. I drew his face upside down and like... ya know without turning the paper, and it came out pretty creepy. I hate it XD I reread RS and I just really love William talking to the Spring Bonnie head. I’d probably watch an entire movie of him just crazy rambling, venting, and crying over this inanimate thing he loves. It’s really where you can tell William has gone off the deep end. Even though this was an idea I had originally, I’m glad that TSE’s actually reinforced the idea somewhat. Rewatching FNAF 6 again cuz why not... my wife and I always joke that Henry would encourage Mike to purposely fuck up the Scraptrap salvage mini-game. XD Drew a little comparison of my Mike and William, since they are very similar. The top drawings were done in a pen I prefer, but I misplaced it (like always) and had to switch to a more liquid pen and... well, my sketches get super sloppy with it since the heavier ink tends to dab and smear. I drew this spoiler sketch for Sammy and the AlmagAfton and was wondering where I got the inspiration from (pretty sure it was End of Evangelion. I’ve been biding my time waiting for my wife’s vacation to watch Evangelion 4.0 and it sucks waiting. End of Evangelion, which 4.0 is a recreation of, happens to be in like my top 3 anime films of all time, so...) ANYWAY, I decided to give CEO!Sammy a rabbit... he names it PJ... I very very much picture him like a Bond villain and that’s OK. =:) Oh, the random girl in the center is my personal OC. I wanted to draw her in the night guard uniform >>; She’s a cop in my universe, anyway...

Page 42: The top left has some scraps from other pages (you aren’t missing anything, I was doing non FNAF comic page planning underneath). These were done in pencil, hence the shade difference. Drawing faces and emotions is a huge comfort for me.Like I said before, I reread RS and it’s such a shame Elizabeth and Charlotte didn’t hang out more “on screen”, as I think Charlotte would be this quiet, mature type; Elizabeth is an impulsive and stubborn type (like their old men, I guess). So, like, Elizabeth could get Charlotte to open up more and Charlotte could teach Elizabeth some manners XD There’s a small sketch in the center of a (badly drawn) William for the scene when the Mangle prototype briefly comes to life due to the dog remnant. It’s a creepy scene in the story, even if the theory is universally hated now. It’s not something I believe, really, but I NEEDED it to happen so William could discover Remnant. There’s more angry William and a few more sketches of CEO!Sammy. I really have fun drawing him and I was refining the idea from the previous page. He’s one of many posessed by Glitchtrap, so I tried to show that... (Also, it bothers me that he looks like Rasputin from Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha 1, BUT its fine. I’ll deal with it.) Please ignore my Aerith sketches. Since my PS4 HDMI died and I can’t get it repaired and I can’t find/afford a PS5 and I haven’t experimented with remote play as a back up yet, I can’t replay FFVIIR, so I’m playing FFVII on my Switch again. Aerith is probably my favorite character of all time, so...

As you guys may have guessed I’m really revving up on inspiration to try and finish Truth Seeker... I think I will be posting more of it soon as the final two chapters of RS come out.

If you like my work, please reblog it, share it, or at least comment and let me know what you loved =:) I really wanna cater more to you guys, but I have no idea where to begin!

[mia-ugly]

Breakable Things

Martin is big.

Not in a strapping film-star kind of way. Not tall or broad-shouldered, not a ‘mountain of a man’ or a ‘tall drink of water’ or anything like that.

Just big (a dumb, blunt, smack of a word.)

He was big as a lad, he’s bigger now. He always had the kind of body that inspired too many teachers to push him toward wrestling, football, rugby even (apparently his dad had been involved with the clubs. Apparently he’d been a fair tighthead back in the day, before he left Martin’s mum, and left Martin to gather up the pieces, cutting his fingertips on every one.)

It didn’t take Martin’s teachers or schoolmates long to realize that Martin’s size did not equate to any sort of athletic skill. And once the - inevitable rumours started circulating around Year Seven, well. Any motivation he might have had to be ���part of a team’ was drained out of him like a tire going flat (that metaphor needs work. Doesn’t really convey the violence, try again.)  His motivation left him like the air being knocked from his lungs, shove after hard shove against the lockers.

Martin is strong.

Physically. He doesn’t know why - got it from his father, didn’t he - his wide back, his thick fingers, his solid legs. He took a cricket bat to the face once - ought to have broken his nose, blackened his eyes, but it didn’t. Got in a car accident when he was seventeen, didn’t even crack a rib. Flipped the whole thing into the ditch, and his mum screamed herself hoarse when she found out, but Martin walked away from it. Physically. He walked away.

He doesn’t bruise easily. If he cuts his hand chopping vegetables, it heals quickly. He doesn’t have any scars (he has stretch marks though, all over his stomach and thighs, and for all that he is strong, he’s soft. He’s soft and he knows it, all pudding and poetry and fear, oh, fear most of all. It's pathetic how easy he is, how quickly he caves, rolls over and does whatever's asked of him.

In most situations, anyway. With most people.)

“Why don’t you want me coming with you?”

Jon is in his office, seated in front of that bloody tape recorder as always. The sight of him there is so familiar, like the negatives from a film camera. Like even if Jon wasn’t there, the imprint of him would still linger, white as a ghost against the darkness.

He doesn’t seem surprised to hear Martin’s voice. Neither does he glance up from the desk where he’s shuffling papers, gathering up books. His hands move constantly, restless and bird-boned and Martin is always looking at them, even when he tries not to.

“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Jon’s voice is low, rough with exhaustion, and it makes Martin wince. Makes him want to fuss (when is the last time the man got a decent night's sleep? Someone should bring him a cup of tea, someone should rub his shoulders, someone should do something -

He knows he has a caretaking thing. He knows it’s not - good. And the sharp ones get to him like anything, he wants to win them over in a pathetic, salivating way. It’s a sickness, but - 

- but there was a point when it suddenly stopped being about Martin’s Whole Thing, and just started being about Jon.

He’ll talk to someone about it, swear. A professional, even. If the world doesn’t end.)

“It’s fine if you get hurt, though, is it?”

Jon does look up now, and Martin forces himself not to take a step back under the dark-lashed scrutiny. The heavy eyebrows, the shimmer of scars.  Sometimes Jon’s skin reminds Martin of the surface of a planet, a rough and distant moon. He wonders how it is that Jon can be so narrow, so small, and still take up so much room in the Archives, and in the world, and in Martin’s big (and soft and so so stupid ) heart.

“It is my job.”

“No. This - this is not your job.” Martin struggles to put the words together in the face of this vast, ridiculous injustice. “Going off to - what? Do battle with some sort of evil, circussy death-cult, that’s not your job . You don’t get paid for that.”

Jon snorts, derisive, and Martin wishes he could be angry. It’d be easier if he was angry with Jon.

But he isn’t.

“Melanie needs you here. And I can’t be - there, thinking about -“ Jon stops. He swallows and looks back down at the scattered papers on his desk. A snowfall of horror stories, laid out neatly on Hammermill Bright White. “Worrying about you.”

(“Leave it, Martin, I’m fine just - leave me alone -” Mum smacks him away with a vein-bruised hand.)

“Because I’ll make a mess of things - is that what you think? I can help you, I want to help you-”

“I will feel better knowing you’re here.”

“And how do you think I’ll feel? Knowing you -  you and, um Tim and Daisy - are out risking your lives while I’m sat on my hands, drinking tea, being useless -”

“You aren’t.” Jon’s voice is suddenly loud, as if he’s in pain. He pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. “And I don’t - I can’t - you’ll be helpful here. The Institute needs you, and Melanie needs you, and I -”

-don’t, Martin hears.

Though Jon doesn’t say it, Martin hears it.

“Right,” he manages. “All right.”

He should go. He’s going to go. But he lingers for a moment more, committing as much of Jonathan Sims to memory as he can. The angles of him, compact and rigid with anxiety. The fall of hair across his forehead, ink black shot through with grey. Thin pink lines that a blade left below his jaw, a ripple of lacy scar tissue on his hand (and Martin mostly, mostly doesn’t wonder what those scars would feel like against his own skin. On his shoulder or - or sliding down the length of his throat. At the back of his neck, tugging him into a kiss.)

Come back, come back, come fucking back. Martin isn’t religious, never one for church, but it’s as much of a prayer as he’s ever said.

“Is there something else you want?” Jon asks, terse and tired and - for one thoughtless moment he is the Archivist and only the Archivist, and Martin can��t help but gasp out a shocked, “yes.”

Jon knocks a book off the desk. It slams to the floor loud as a gunshot, and Martin flinches.

“Sorry,” he says quickly, “I’m sorry, I -”

“No, I’m - I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking -”

“It’s fine - I know you didn’t -”

“I would never -”

“But you can.”

There’s a horrible silence, like the moment after the tape recorder shuts off, statement ends. Martin feels sick to his stomach and Jon looks like - like -

He doesn’t know what Jon looks like. Maybe that’s why he keeps talking.

“You can ask me. What I - what I want.” Heat is rushing to his face, a blush that feels like thorns. Jon just stares at him, and this was a bad, bad idea. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Jon doesn’t even need to ask the question, probably knows the whole awful story just by looking at him. “If you wanted.”

When Jon says nothing, just keeps staring, Martin tries desperately to double back.

“Never mind, that was -” He flaps his hands a bit, moving towards the door. His shoulders hunch, an old defense mechanism, useless body trying to make itself look as harmless as possible. Trying to make itself so small it’s beyond notice (it never works.) “I shouldn’t have. I can’t believe I -  just - be safe. All right? That’s all I -”

“Martin -”

“That was - stupid, such a - I’m sorry, I only -”

“-what do you want?”

The words are spoken quietly. Barely above a whisper. But Martin doesn’t need to hear them - his whole body hears them, and suddenly every syllable feels golden in his mouth. Saying it out loud isn’t frightening or humiliating, it’s easy. Answering the Archivist is like falling asleep in a patch of sun-warmed grass, or gasping for air after holding your breath underwater.

“I want you to come back.” It’s honey dripping off his tongue. “I want you to come back for me. And I want the world not to end, and I want to know what your hair feels like, whether it’s soft or coarse and whether I can tell the difference between the black parts and the silvery parts just by touching them.”

Jon is absolutely frozen behind his desk. He might not even be breathing, but that’s okay; Martin can’t remember why anyone needs to breathe.

“And I want to help you. And the others. I want to matter. And I want Sasha to be okay, and I want Tim to be okay, and I want Elias to finally face some fucking consequences for once. I want to take you on holiday and - and watch you while you sleep so you know you don’t have to be afraid. I want to wake you up if you have nightmares and make you tea in the morning and bake things for you, and - and I want to kiss you, even if it’s just once. Only once, just so I know, and only if you want me to. That’s what I want.”

The sweetness ends the moment the last word leaves his mouth. Suddenly the honey is cloying and acrid, suddenly his heart is unsteady with embarrassment, skipping beats like he’s just had a shot of adrenaline. Martin chokes on a breath and slams his eyes shut against the spinning room.

“Fuck.” His voice cracks on the word, insult to injury, and he claps a hand over his mouth. “Oh God - I’m - oh God. That was -” He barely remembers what he said, which is the only thing keeping him upright at the moment. He just knows it was soft, pathetically soft. Even his fantasies are as weak as his jawline. “I’m going to - go, I’ll go. I shouldn’t have -”

“W-wait.”

Martin doesn’t want to open his eyes. But he does. Just in time to see Jonathan Sims stand up. Start to walk around the desk.

And Jon is not big. Or strong, physically. Martin knows a bit about anatomy, took a couple art classes, was always fascinated by the bones of things. As Jon steps closer, Martin can only see the breakable things about him. Collarbones, fingers, bridge of his nose. What’s that bone in the arm that everyone’s always breaking?

Humerus.

Ulna.

Jon is not strong, and he is scarred, and he is small and fragile and God he is the bravest person Martin’s ever met.

“Martin, you -” Jon stops in front of him and Martin looks down, gaze almost level with the top of Jon’s head. “You can ask me. What - what I want.”

He’s shaking, Martin can see it - and it makes him realize that he’s shaking too. He barely manages the “What -” before he forgets how to say the rest, forgets how words work (but Jon, Jon is brave.)

“I think - I would like -” Jon reaches for Martin’s hand, and lifts it to his mouth. Presses a dry kiss right in the centre of Martin’s palm.

It’s a ruining sort of softness, and Martin’s big (physically) and strong (physically) but somehow Jon knows where his weaknesses are - the loose dragonscale, the slipped disc.

(And of course, after this the world will almost end (but not quite.)  After this, there will be Elias and Martin’s humiliating tears over a statement he knew damn well, a beholding that came as no surprise to anyone.

After this Jon will die.

Almost. Not quite.)

But now: Jon is murmuring, “I think -” as he leans up to kiss Martin (and his warm mouth is shocking and brief, a knife sliding home.)

But now: Jon is still shaking when their lips part, and Martin’s hands are on either side of his face, tips of his fingers settled lightly in Jon's hair (it’s softer than anything, as it turns out, and the silvery parts are softest of all.)

Their foreheads press together, both of them breathing harder than one kiss should warrant. And Martin doesn’t say any of those other things he wants, any of the white-hot words he’s scratched down on paper or typed into the notes app. He doesn’t say anything about the shape of Jon’s shoulder-blades through that thin grey t-shirt he wears, doesn’t bring up any metaphors about fading light or seaglass or breakable things that are also strangely beautiful.

Because what good is poetry at the end of the world?

“Be careful,” Martin says instead (and Jon won’t be.)

“Come back,” he says (and Jon isn’t going to. Not for a long, long time).

And hours later, standing in that empty office, Martin will see the lighter that Jon left on his desk. He will notice the black handful of ashes in the rubbish bin, and wonder what Jon was burning.

And Martin is soft. People-pleasing and pathetic and terribly, terribly in love.

But Jonathan Sims kissed him once (once) and for a moment, in that office, with a small blue flame leaping in his hand -

Martin is not afraid.

[wiseabsol]

Some Truth of the Divine speculation, now that I've finally gotten around to reading Lindsay Ellis' Axiom's End and had a blast with it. Seriously, it's the most fun I've had in a while (I stayed up until 4am reading it), and at certain points I put the book down and went, "Oh. Oh no. Ellis knows EXACTLY what I'm weak for. Please send help."

So here are an assortment of thoughts on what might be in book two:

- We know that Cora and Kaveh will be point of view characters for book two, with possibly a third pov. I'm thinking that if we do get a third pov, it will be from Ampersand's last symphyle.

- I think Ampersand's last symphyle will be the "agent of chaos" mentioned in the blurb. I'm also wondering if this symphyle's arrival will kick off the discussion of what genders the amygdalines identify as.

- I also wonder if Cora will gel with this last symphyle, kicking off an on-page poly relationship between Cora, Ampersand, and the last symphyle. Poly relationships do appear to be the cultural norm for amygdalines.

- Alternatively, maybe the last symphyle is doing poorly from losing all of their group except for Ampersand, and is in full lashing out and causing chaos mode. I definitely don't want a repeat of Obelus--because then you really have to wonder how healthy Ampersand's original group was--but the blurb for Truth of the Divine seems to suggest that this new arrival makes the tense situation on Earth much worse.

- Nils is unfortunately probably going to appear in the book and be a charming, manipulative jerkass to Cora, because of course he's going to try to take advantage of her role as an interpreter for Ampersand. On the plus side, I cannot wait for Ampersand to realize how much Nils is hurting Cora, because then he can fulfill the protective monster boyfriend role. It is always delicious, even if I think Ampersand will go a little far with it (there will probably be some blood. I am a bad person and would be okay with this).

- "While asking the question of what constitutes a 'person,' Ellis also examines what makes a monster." So yeah, the monster or monsters in this will probably be humans behaving badly, rather than amygdalines. The blurb mentions hate groups, after all. One of these monsters will also probably be Nils, because he's already been set up as a villain with great PR (and sometimes a point). Also, don't think I don't see that line as a reference to Beauty and the Beast and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Ellis.

- Cora and Ampersand are most likely going to have sex in this book. According to Ellis, there will be smut, but it's not like what we're imagining. I'm wondering if it's not like what we're imagining because it will involve more people than just them? Maybe Cora hooks up with someone and Ampersand is psychically there and possibly experiencing sexual pleasure for the first time? Maybe Ampersand's and his symphyle have the psychic equivalent of a steamy reunion and Cora gets some feedback from that?

- Okay though, so it's supposed to be a darker book. Let's say that Cora and Ampersand do get it on, and Ampersand is experiencing sexual pleasure for the first time through their psychic bond (since that isn't a Thing for amygdalines). Would he get a bit...intense about that? Seek it out multiple times? He's a traumatized adult in the middle of grieving the loss of yet another symphyle, and he WANTS to be close to Cora, and who knows how that psychic bond is going to grow between them (I feel like there are hints that Cora could learn high language someday, it'll just be something that develops over time). So what if that is going on, and maybe they're not as careful with it as they should be, and they get caught on a recording? Which someone, probably Nils, then leaks? The backlash from it on all sides--because I don't get the sense that the amygdalines would be cool with it any more than the humans would--would cause a lot of drama and pain that would need to be dealt with. Also, that would be the ultimate violation from Nils. Do I want it to happen? Definitely not. Could I easily see it happening, given how under surveillance the amygdalines are and how leaky the information about them is? Unfortunately, yes.

- "Questionable use of non-human anatomy" will probably be Ampersand shapeshifting his fingers into...some other things. Given that he's a nervous system encased in a dragon-shaped mechanical body, he will need to get creative to make things work.

- I live in fear of what secrets Ampersand is keeping and what he lied about in the first book. What are his "machinations" that no one was meant to see?

- Is Cora going to call Ampersand out for not asking her if it was okay to fusion bond with her? I'm unclear on how that happened without her consent. Also, the implication that an amygdaline can form a fusion bond with someone whenever, without them knowing about it or needing to accept the invite into their headspace, makes me worried about amygdaline society (unless that was just how it worked with Cora?). I have a feeling that a part of why Ampersand told her to keep their bond a secret wasn't just because it could put them both in danger, but because it's probably something that would be illegal to do in amygdaline society.

- Ampersand is going to have to learn how to not be such a control freak in this book, as Obelus implied he would be. The whole idea that cultural assimilation/fusion isn't possible, only cultural conquest, will also need to be challenged.

- The Genome's body being taken away will come back in a horrifying way, maybe with some cloning.

- Will Ampersand find the people whose brains he damaged and fix them? If he does, I'll bet it's because he doesn't want Cora to be mad at him, rather than from genuine remorse.

- Felix is totally going to run away with Nils and that is going to backfire 100%.

- I hope Esperas has a Pet the Dog moment with Cora, maybe while literally petting her dogs. I could really see him empathizing with Cora over how much of a jerk Ampersand is being.

- Maybe we'll learn how Nils got the Fremda Memo and what Luciana had to do with it.

[random-thought-depository]

Watched the X-Files episode Teliko the night before last. It got into Vulture.com’s 10 most embarassing X-Files episodes list, and there seems to be a general view that it was a rather problematic episode. I can see why: the concept of basically a melanin vampire is kind of goofy, and, uh... You know that thing where people used to filicide autistic children because they thought they were changelings? Apparently, there’s something kind of like that in parts of Africa but directed against albinos (the details are different, but it’s a similar pattern of folk beliefs motivating violence against vulnerable people). Teliko felt like it might have been referencing that in just about the worst way possible; like the writers just went “Let’s have an African-themed monster this week; I skimmed a book about west African mythology for five minutes and I get the impression they think albinos are scary, so let’s just make something up based on that” (a quick Google search turns up basically nothing about “Telikos” as a thing in actual real-world mythology). That said, I do think they did a couple of interesting things with the monster.

You know that thing about how culture is an extended part of the human phenotype, like the use of fire to cook food is what might have allowed our digestive systems to shrink and our brains to grow, reshaping our bodies to make us what we are? The episode gave me the impression that something similar was going on with “Mr. Aboah’s” hunting and feeding, like it was hard to tell where his use of technology ended and his biology began. He used a plant-based poison to paralyze his victims (clearly technology). He’d suck out people’s brain-juices using this tube that he apparently kept jammed deep in his throat most of the time and pulled out through his mouth before he fed (presumably ramming it back into himself after he was done); it was ambiguous whether it was part of his body or a tool, and if it was a tool I think he must have had some biological adaptations for carrying it around inside him like that, because I’m pretty sure it would be harmful and excruciatingly painful for a normal human to do that. He was able to cram himself into very small spaces, and he apparently went into some sort of coma-like sleep for much of the day, suggesting his anatomy and physiology was abnormal above and beyond his inability to properly regulate his own body chemistry; he wasn’t just a person with a disease who’d figured out an unethical coping mechanism for it. Mulder and Scully speculated about him being part of a “clan” of people like him, and when he was talking with his immigration councilor there was a bit about him being able to bring over relatives through chain migration that I think was clearly played for ominousness. There was a lot of subtextual emphasis on the idea that he wasn’t a one-off mutant, he was part of a community of people like him, and that queasy “not sure where his biology ends and his use of technology begins” thing fits into that well, suggesting that he’s the product of a history, that his kind has been around long enough to develop their own culture with distinctive weapons and tools and to evolve.

I also liked the way the episode emphasized the vulnerability inherent in what the vampire is (or in this case the psuedo-vampire); it reminded me of Max Schreck’s performance as Count Orlock in the 1979 Nosferatu. The vampire is a creature that must take something vital from others to keep themselves alive, healthy, and strong. And Teliko and Nosferatu both gave me an impression of a vampire (broadly defined) who was able to stay alive, but not necessarily healthy and strong. I remember Nosferatu’s Orlock gave me an impression of tremendous weariness; in the dinner scene toward the beginning of the movie he sounded so tired, like a student who’d been studying until 3:00 AM and was struggling just to talk and stay standing up. “Mr. Aboah” gave me a vibe of fragility and precarity; during the day he hides in dark holes or in a dark apartment with the curtains closed and the lights off because the sun hurts him, he’s visibly not well, his immigration councilor comments that he looks feverish, his short and minimalistic statements suggest not having the spoons for real conversation (and possibly not being confident in English, which is another kind of vulnerability). The tube in his throat fits with this too, cause keeping a tube in his throat like that looks like it might hurt. Some of this is probably influenced by having some real-life context for the ways albinism can be disabling; IIRC if we go with real-life precedent “Mr. Aboah” would probably experience increasing sun/light sensitivity and deterioration of his vision if he doesn’t get the brain-juice and starts losing his pigmentation. I really got the vibe that it’s a struggle for him to get enough brain-juice to keep himself alive and healthy and strong, and he lives in a state of precarity because he can’t be sure where he’s going to get that next hit he’ll need soon, like an addict who doesn’t have the money to reliably support his habit, or (and in a sense this is exactly what he is) like a person with a chronic illness who can’t reliably access the medicine he needs. He’s dangerous, he kills people, but I also felt kind of sorry for him, because his life looked pretty unpleasant. Which, like... if you’re going to use disability-coding as monstrousness-coding, I think this one of the less bad and more interesting ways of doing that.

That said, I’ll note, like... if the episode was going to lean on “this isn’t a supernatural thing, this is a medical thing,” the depigmentation thing seemed kind of cartoonish and thus clashed with that. Like, even leaving aside “I’m pretty sure not having a pituitary gland wouldn’t actually work that way,” I think melanin would stick around for longer than that even if your body stopped making it? Think about how long it takes for a tan to fade. And hair is IIRC mostly “dead” (metabolically inactive), so I think it at least should stay dark and just grow in pale/white from the roots if the hair follicles stopped making pigments. I think the growing patches of white skin were an effective dramatic device for communicating “Mr. Aboah’s” deteriorating condition if he didn’t get the brain-juice, but maybe handle it differently somehow?

[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 75: Paper Weight

Table of Contents. Third Instar, Chapter  6. Go to previous. Go to next. TWs: Religion, joint issues, diet/appetite weirdness, brief transphobia adjacent anxiety, minor dehumanizing ghoul treatment. Uh. Not in that order. A slightly longer groundwork chapter, and continuing evidence that I am, in fact, criminally insane. [Updated 2021.07.12.]

“...[F]ixed in a sort of eternity at the heart of the crystal.” -- Orwell’s 1984

______________________________

‘Choly woke to Sticks gently stroking at his long dark shock-streaked hair. He could not discern the time of day without any light sneaking in around the edges of curtains, and recalled their inn room did not have windows. The ghoul drew his attention back to him with a drowsy smile.

“Ready to start the day?”

To resist the draw to curl up into Sticks, ‘Choly stretched out with a yawn, only to jerk his eyes open. He laid on his back for some time. In the night, one of his shoulders had separated and dragged his neck out of alignment.

“--I’m not ready, but let’s start anyway. Angel, be a dear and turn the lights on, please.“

The Mister Handy puffed to life again. Reignition of its pilot light cast dim outlines to the space. Unveiling the Burlington glass fixtures returned the room to unnatural illumination by that strange red-green light which ‘Choly disliked intuiting as gold. By the time Angel had completed the task, Sticks had thrown himself out of bed to dress.

‘Choly managed to sit up, and palpated at his errant joints, using the mindful pressure of his fingertips to coax things back into place. Not dislocating his fingers in the process required what little focus he could summon without coffee or his reinforced gloves, but he could barely move let alone think straight with the strumming stitches radiating through his arm and neck. He squirmed inside, knowing he couldn’t help but force Sticks to bear witness to the strangled hisses and cartilaginous pops.

Angel presented ‘Choly a can, which he accepted half-awake. He put on his glasses one-handed.

“A canister of fresh water to start your day, Sir? I’ve only got the one at present, if you’d like to split it. More is on the way.”

“Would you be able to open it...?”

“I have no sharp implements,” it apologized.

“Give me that.”

Sticks snatched it playfully and held it between his knees while he reattached his Pip-Boy and left hand. He hadn’t quite got to buttoning his shirt just yet. He slipped the glove off his mechanical prosthetic, and produced a sort of multitool from the armature of the region analogous to the metacarpal bones. As the ghoul made use of the folding implement, ‘Choly watched the hand’s exposed mechanical parts in motion, intimating tendons and ligaments, not always attached to something resembling a bone. A dull pop liberated the can’s lid. Sticks took a few swigs and handed it to ‘Choly helpfully, before hiding the tool again and slipping the glove back on. He moved on to finishing with his shirt so he could tie his bow-tie blind, humor to his breath.

‘Choly simply sat there and observed Sticks at length, nearly altogether forgetting gratitude or thirst. Words failed him. Sticks ran his right hand over his one surviving curl of hair. The blond ghoul noticed him staring and sat up straighter.

“What?”

“A pocket knife? That’s allowed?” He kept turning his neck, head held at deliberate angles, seeking that last tweak of alignment his cervical vertebrae wouldn’t yield him.

“See’s never asks me to show my hand,” he shrugged. “Half the time, they don’t even notice it’s not flesh.”

“This isn’t about your hand, and you know it.”

“Hey now. They’re fine with utensils. It’s got to be scarier than a butter knife to make them skittish. Really, though. Don’t mention it. It’d probably risk ‘em taking my whole hand, especially now that it’s wired into this thing.”

Sticks huffed a bit. Angel leapt to assist when his neckwear wouldn’t cooperate.

“Oh, do let me help you with that, Sir.”

“Thanks, chap. Hard to do without a mirror.”

“I brought in a hand mirror.” Unappeased, ‘Choly gestured to Angel for his hairbrush, which he set to using with his head dipped between his knees, desperate to couple the inversion of gravity with cadence of his brushing. Once he sat up again, he looked to Sticks. “Which, would it be all right if we brought in some things from the car? I figure that even if we get lucky today, we’ve paid for a week, so we may as well stay for a week. No sense in rushing things. Might miss something, if we do.”

Sticks tilted his head.

“I could warm to that. What all would you even need to bring in, though?”

“Little things,” he reassured a little too quickly. “Toiletries. Some spare clothes. Nothing too elaborate.”

“I don’t see why not.” He gripped his own knees. “Let’s knock that out. After, we can head to breakfast. Now. You want my help with your corset and stuff?”

‘Choly’s shoulders folded in as he worked at unbuttoning his shirt. His reservations came not from distrust but self-consciousness. Despite having partook in several kinds of sex acts with him already, he still preferred that the ghoul only see him naked from behind, if at all. But, he didn’t care to parse any selfishness or perversion in the offer: he wanted Sticks’s help. He’d be a hypocrite, anyway, to find fault in Sticks’s own enjoyment of the activity, when his very physiology provided the same passive delight for ‘Choly. He pulled the corset to him, and removed his shirt so he could hook the busks. Only then, holding it up against his front, did he relent to receiving help stringing the back. The more pieces Sticks helped him into, the more straightened out and held in place he felt. More clearly than usual, he craved the full-body orthotics set, in the expectation that with them he might feel normal again. Functional again. In any sense. In every.

He objected, mostly internally, that his brain would thrust heavy self-reflection on him so soon after waking. The idea of returning to bed enticed him again. No. Sooner than do so in the bathroom mirror, he pinned up a french twist blind and loose.

The two finished off the water before leaving the room.

They first stopped at the restrooms, where Angel waited just outside. ‘Choly flinched at the doorway, only to scold himself for even thinking he shouldn’t use the men’s room. He remained aware of others the entire time, relieved to go unnoticed and unremarkable. He insisted to himself that the night before had been a fluke.

Exiting the mall made ‘Choly wish he’d brought his visor inside. The garage’s luminosity wasn’t significantly greater than inside the mall, but the shift in hues to natural lighting pulsated in his right-sided cervical migraine. He didn’t think he’d gotten used to the limited color spectrum indoors so soon, yet here he was, nearly thinking seeing any color besides red, green, and gold signified he was seeing colors which didn’t exist. The intensity with which he saw cyan, magenta, and even white, he approximated to an aura migraine. The edges of his vision felt over-illuminated and blurry. If this sensitivity overload would take place every time he adjusted to and from Burlington glass lighting, he decided he would avoid going inside and out with any frequency for the remainder of their stay.

In the garage, mostly only the children paid any attention to the trio. So early in the morning, many inhabitants shared cinder block campfires to prepare community breakfast. On the way to Little Boy Blue, they passed through delectable aromas of sweet breads and pan seared meat.

Sticks opened the trunk for ‘Choly. Once he could tell ‘Choly intended to make use of Angel’s storage compartment to carry his things inside, he tossed in few of his own clothes too. He smirked at yet another of ‘Choly’s outdated behaviors:

“You packed like you’re on vacation.”

“A vacation with a purpose, perhaps. I’m grateful for it, though. It doesn’t seem this hotel has complimentary soaps.”

Sticks snickered.

“To broach a veritable elephant,” Angel stressed, “I must point out that while we may be booked for a week’s lodging here, you only have four Melancholia remaining, Mister Carey. In addition to our primary goal, we should stay on the lookout for toothpaste and mouthwash today. And we may no longer require them for first aid, but do recall that Stimpaks are the most important part of that recipe.”

Stimpaks. 'Choly paled at his oversight.

“Surely four of those things will get you through the week,” Sticks muttered. “You can’t swear off food now, with the biggest restaurant cluster in New England at the other end of the building.”

“...If I can help it.”

Sticks puffed up.

“Not if I can help it.”

The Mister Handy and chemist turned down the invitation to argument.

On their way back inside, ‘Choly saw Maury eating with a group of other settlers. He didn’t want to interrupt their meal, but he still waved. When See’s screened them, ‘Choly showed them Angel’s compartment again. Everything passed muster with security, albeit thoroughly rifled through. ‘Choly welcomed their return to the clear, dark uniformity of the mall interior’s red-green glow. They dropped off their things at the room, then went into the mall proper.

The Concourse seemed to only just be waking up by this hour. Most walked southward like them. Only half the stores looked open for business. ‘Choly looked to his Pip-Boy for the time. Just after nine. He accepted it and slouched as comfortably as he could atop Angel.

He figured most of the people headed to the food court were Laners, while the rest were probably visitors, or at least lived outside the mall. Along the way, he people-watched, eventually making a visual distinction between Laners and everyone else less by their routine and more through their attire. The fashion of mall denizens seemed to posit some commixture of Irish crochet, beaded silk, and embroidered tweed, bakelite and astrakhan, plus-fours and long trailing skirt hems, chemisettes and dickeys tethered with layers of scarves and shawls.

More people packed into the boisterous food court for breakfast than had for dinner. Even getting to the counter with the shortest line took patience, with hundreds seeking their first meals. Sticks ordered himself carrot pancakes, then turned to ‘Choly.

“Are you sure I can’t interest you in breakfast? With the lines like this, I’m not ordering twice.”

Fatigued lyric traced his reply as he patted at Angel’s storage compartment to retrieve his Billerica Golf Course mug with a smile:

“You can interest me in a cup of coffee.”

The ghoul impatiently resigned to a smaller order than he’d liked, and flashed his inn room key fob to net a discount. He requested a plate from Angel, and took it and ‘Choly’s mug to hold out for the server, who confirmed, yes maple syrup, black no sugar, before plating up as requested. Twenty-seven pulls lighter, Sticks let Angel locate their seat with its higher passive senses.

‘Choly sat with his coffee warming his gloved hands for some time, content to let the aromatic steam roll over his face while he watched Sticks dig in with knife and fork. Angel set a Melancholia bottle on the table. Eventually, Sticks’s bites slowed, and he stopped to finish chewing. He cut off a forkful and held it out with a cupped hand beneath, optimistic the craving spurred ‘Choly’s attention.

“The maple syrup makes up for it being carrot.”

‘Choly eyed it. Sooner than admit due impropriety, he let him stuff the bite in his mouth. He had expected the syrup and apple compote to provide all the sweetness, but the finely grated root vegetable mixed into the batter contributed both sweet and savory. Against his better judgment, to quash any question altogether, he mooched a second bite as well with interest.

“Don’t you like carrot?”

“...Blueberries aren’t in season,” Sticks eventually smiled. “Now, I’d happily split these with you... or are you actually happy with that damn silt flour smoothie?”

“I’m only happy with my Melancholia, in that it doesn’t upset my stomach.” He opened it with his reinforced gloves, and thought to himself, This batch isn’t even cherry. It’s mint. “If you want my full faculties, you’ll have me with Mentats, Melancholia, and a cup of black coffee.”

Brow raised, Sticks frowned into his plate as he scrutinized where to cut off his next bite.

“Far be it for me to come between you and your faculties.”

Angel used the dish station at the far end of the food court to rinse their plate, mug, and utensils. Then, they got to skimming stores.

Beginning just outside the Customs House, they poked around any open store which appeared to carry armor or apparel. ‘Choly went by cane for the most part, and tried not to let interesting garments distract him or his cash from his goal. He wasn’t about to spend anything until he knew the price tag on liberating the leather orthotics from whoever might have them. Neither their descriptions nor the product photos in the catalogue produced results.

In one shop, Sticks unhelpfully described the item to the clerk, who immediately pointed them to an array of girdles and brassieres. Beet red and speechless, ‘Choly had to nearly shove away the salesmanship, no matter the young man’s encouragement or respect. Sticks didn’t know whether to find ‘Choly’s reaction revealing or amusing.

They passed crossway between the main entrance and Sutter Grove, only for ‘Choly to stop cold. Like some strange airport reunion, a loud, excited group of Laners fawned over a black woman with a shoulder-length white bob--white all the more stark in contrast to the red-green golden mall-sea. When Sticks noticed ‘Choly had stopped, he backtracked, eyes on the woman sooner than him.

“You need me to help you up on Angel?”

“Such accolades. What do you suppose she means to them?”

“From the look of her, she must travel a lot. They probably just haven’t seen her in a real long time. It’s not important. They’re going to Burlington Glassworks. They won’t have what we’re here for. Now come on.”

Head askew, ‘Choly watched the gaggle drag the overwhelmed yet pleasant woman across the Concourse and to the lighting store.

“I... I want to go in there.”

“Didn’t think you were particularly religious, but whatever. We can take a break and play tourist or somethin’.”

‘Choly almost objected, but figured he’d understand if only he satisfied his curiosity. If he recalled anything from the time before he’d stepped foot in the United States, he knew with certainty he’d been raised to abhor religious observance. At least, outwardly...

Myriad strange shapes the luminescent space, but the motif repeated in the glass art filled with glowing golden red-green fluid, that the neck swirled and looped around the body, then somehow reentered it. Bulbs were hung by these loops from the ceiling, some in knotted strings, while most other bulbs rested in metal fixtures reminiscent of egg cups. If not for the artistic shapes and the hue of light they cast, ‘Choly and Sticks almost considered it like stepping into the lighting department of a hardware store.

“Hierosacristan Fresnel!” The group begged, both in English and what ‘Choly could only presume was French. “Hierosacristan, tell us of your orbit!”

The staff had abandoned their posts in fascination of their visitor. Some showered her with sunflowers. Here, ‘Choly could see the woman wore an ornately embroidered shawl, fur-lined metal armor, and an all-black bodysuit. The woman could only oblige her admirers with a humility strained smile. A dozen or so stone park benches furnished the deeper half of the store, in two neat rows facing the back wall. ‘Choly sat at the last bench to watch, transfixed. Begrudgingly, Sticks joined him, and Angel, behind them.

As she spoke, Fresnel’s deep, silvery voice alternated between English and French, limiting ‘Choly and Sticks’s full comprehension. Her audience seemed more captivated by anything she didn’t say in English.

When she told them, “Qu’Atom vous garde,” they mirrored it in kind. ‘Choly filled in any gaps in the language barrier with presumptions of what little he knew of Orthodoxy.

“Much of my year I have studied in Thomaston... XXXXXXXXXX I wandered the Nashua ruins a bit before coming to the Lane proper... XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX I come to greet the granite... I must travel West before I return to Five Sisters. To report my findings to Grand Mother Skwodovska. But, I savor a leisurely return. My discoveries dictate my orbit. XXXXXXXXXX I Winter at the Lane for the first time... XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX ”

At some point in her speech, she took notice of their visitors. She broke away from sermonizing for the dozen or so practically clutching for her attention, to approach. ‘Choly straightened, expecting her to scold him. But she bowed to Sticks with grace, and held his hand in both her own. The ghoul fell speechless when she smiled up at him.

“What a blessing, that one of Atom’s beloved attends us. I never get the chance to speak with any Undying.”

Sticks let her hold his gloved hand, too, and laid on his charm.

“I’m impressed at our timing. We happen to be at Ant Lane right when such a highly esteemed Child of Atom has popped in.”

Again struggling with humility, she withdrew to stand. Taken aback by the sight of Angel, she hemmed into her fist.

“Forgive my start from the robot. One of my past orbits took me to the Commonwealth, and since my visit to the Cambridge Polymer Labs, I haven’t much liked the company of Mister Handies.”

“Cambridge!” Angel blandished. “Such worldliness.”

She appreciated that it did not take exception with her.

“My brothers and sisters show our devotion in a commitment to travel.”

“Forgive my stupidity,” ‘Choly asked, voice cracking, “but what exactly is a hiero...?”

The intense, robust woman half-sat on the back of the next bench to form her reply. Up close, ‘Choly could make out her face tattoo, of many concentric rings, emanating outward from one eye. Sooner than wonder what it signified, he could only imagine how much it must have hurt. The white bob was a wig.

“You speak Keb? No?” She became more particular in her words. “Among the Children of Atom is an order of scribes, historians, cartographers. We are the Daughters of Radon. We hail from the Rock of Ages. We document and research Atom’s holiest substances, such that any of Atom’s children can safely trace a path and greet everything She has touched. The rank bestowed of Daughters of Radon is Sacristan, keeper of holy spaces. Hierosacristans are the Daughters’ Zealots.”

‘Choly strained to follow along, teetering between looking lost and unintentionally judgmental.

“What interest, then, in granite? I heard correctly, that you intend to greet it? It’s very pretty, but really, I want to understand what has you all so enchanted. Is there correlation between granite and these glass lights?”

Fresnel smiled broad and beaming, nearly sarcastic in a way.

“A visitor from the Commonwealth. I see. The answer is Atom’s touch. We concern ourselves not just with nuclear bodies, but with large sources of granite, marble, and limestone. Anyone could observe these structures, both man-made and still-buried, but it takes the devotion of Daughters to listen to their histories.” A sigh and slouch announced her travel weariness. She pointed above them, to the hanging glass. “Everything is a vessel. We carry our world-soul. Nuclear bodies carry the Holy Light of Atom. And certain stones can carry recorded memories of the worlds which formed this one through Division. The Daughters are committed to documenting these memories, so that the Children can celebrate everything from the past which went into the creation of the present.”

‘Choly fumbled as carefully as he could. It fascinated him, that it seemed more and more that religious devotion tied directly into the creation and maintenance of the increasingly supernatural glowing glass fixtures--let alone that it had anything to do with radioactive material.

No wonder they appreciate Sticks. “And you... listen to the granite here?”

Sticks poorly hid his annoyance with a shift in posture and a grunt.

“Most granite is quite loud. The granite here... whispers.” Fresnel admitted. “The Children often call this place The Quiet Granite. You’re very new, and so eager to learn of Atom’s Kingdom... Are you here to let in Her Holy Light?”

“Until I stepped foot in here, I had no idea this place was a church. I know it sounds stupid, but I wanted to come in to see the lights up close. I’m fascinated that a substance could sustain luminescence without external excitation.”

Though his admission dulled her enthusiasm, his verbiage still held her interest.

“I’m not directly involved in glassblowing, so I know very little of it. The Glow is most remarkable, n’est-ce pas? Even if you’re here merely to marvel at our blessed work, you can still take a piece with you. You should speak with my brothers and sisters here. If you’re more than a scholar or tourist, the local Confessor can direct you to our body of scripture as well. I’m far better suited to geography than sermons.” Fresnel’s attention warmed back to Sticks. “Be no stranger to our space...”

“Sticks.”

“Be no stranger, Sticks.” She smiled, mirthful. “You and your odd friend here are welcome here.”

Before the game of Twenty Questions could continue, Fresnel stood to pat Sticks’s hand... and the top of ‘Choly’s head. The chemist frowned as she excused herself.

“Fresnel spoke directly with you,” a devotee said, behind them. They looked over their shoulders at the nervous man. “Is there anything I can do for you, Undying?”

“It’s Sticks,” he repeated, quickly growing tired of it. “We’re sightseeing, you could call it. I think this fella wants a souvenir.”

The man looked ‘Choly over and nodded, motioning for them to follow him to the counter. He produced an egg-crate tray of walnut sized glass baubles, and picked them up to swirl them around in visual demonstration.

“We’re blessed to meet a Hierosacristan.” He poorly contained his delight. “I wonder if she would permit that I be in her caravan when her orbit carries her onward.”

“Where is she headed next?” ‘Choly asked, moreso making conversation than wishing to know.

“The standard path for all caravans from Ant Lane to Burlington is Route 89, straight through the mountains. But, she mentioned traveling West. The Daughters of Radon follow the orbit of their heart. She may intend another orbit yet uncharted. --Forgive my gushing. You’re interested in a prayer armillary?”

“How much are they?”

The potentially inappropriate question caught in ‘Choly’s throat.

“Fifty-one pulls.”

“You don’t happen to take cash, do you?”

“Certainly. Our caravans do trade with more than just Ant Lane.” The Child picked up the tray’s edge to look at a note on the side. “One hundred fifty dollars.”

So deep in, he didn’t feel like he could say no thank you and just walk away. Not that he wanted to walk away empty handed after such a bizarre interaction.

“Tell me more about them. What makes them glow?”

“There are two aspects to Burlington’s glass artistry. We’re beholden to conceal our craft, but it’s perfectly safe for all Atom’s Children, blessed with the Endurance to withstand Her Light or no.“

In the remark, ‘Choly stifled a shiver at the possibility that the entire mall might be a religious settlement.

“The craftsmanship is remarkable.” His voice cracked. “How long do they last?”

“Years, if they must. But these smallest vessels are intended ephemeral: We encourage that you use them to seal a prayer, then shatter it someplace consequential to disperse the good will into the universe.”

“Are they... still safe if broken?”

“They are not grenades. And to drink its contents would be ill advised, foremost on account of the broken glass.”

“I would never have considered the fluid potable,” ‘Choly lied, having had the thought gifted him. He shakily produced the requested cash, and the Child let him pick one of the egg-like baubles. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you?” His beseeching, bleary eyes suggested more than simple commerce. “Do you require any arrangements? Any accommodations of any kind?”

Sticks eyed the tray with near disappointment, and rocked a bauble around in its cup with one finger.

“...You said they were fifty-one?”

“Take one, gladly!”

Feigning pleasantry, he picked one for himself. It exasperated ‘Choly that Sticks had not attempted to influence the price tag on his trinket, but only his frigid shoulders said as much.

“Thank you. Get to take a piece of this place with me, then.”

“But of course!” The Child nod-bowed to them both. “Qu’Atom vous garde.”

They mirrored the nod, caught in the uncertainty of pronunciation, and the uncertainty of appropriateness that they repeat it back.

‘Choly held his prayer armillary at his chest as they exited the Glassworks. He had no intention of ever break it. The thought crossed him as he glanced down at it, that he could place it in Angel’s storage for use as a perpetual light source, like the light to a glove compartment.

“...Angel,” he asked it, spellbound by the strange, vaguely oily, fluoresceinesque fluid, “you’ve got French programming, haven’t you? That was French, yes? What was she saying?”

“I believe it’s French, Sir. At least, partly. If I’m to understand Miss Fresnel, these Children of Atom worship gamma radiation... as well as something they regard as ‘foreign.’ ”

“Cultists, basically.” Sticks snorted.

'Choly didn’t care whether the Children’s religious motivations made any rational, scientific sense. It still burned him, that they’d given Sticks his trinket for free. The ghoul handed him his with only a vague smirk.

“I, you didn’t want one, then?” He had only starry-eyed gratitude. “Are you sure?”

“Why would I? I let them give it to me so they’d knock it off and let us leave.” The ghoul blurted out an abrupt chuckle and slung an arm around ‘Choly’s shoulders, to grip him a little too forcefully. He kept his voice down, cracked lips inches from ‘Choly’s ear. “Don’t make me go back in there. I get enough of that from you.”

-------------------

A/N: I anglicized the maiden name of Polish-French Marie Skłodowska-Curie, in the expectation that oral tradition would follow phonetically. (I also wanted to differentiate the Grand Mother from both Mother Curie III and FO4′s Curie, while still nodding to the historical figure.)

A/N: I’ve thus far gone all my life not knowing it’s pronounced Freh-nel or Fray-nel. Even my science teachers all pronounced it Fresnel. Hm.

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[idunnowatimdoin]

There Are Only Three Steps I Care About and Love Isn't One of Them || Chapter 1 (Snippet)

So I started writing a medical school AU of our two favorite bois. Here’s a small preview of what I’ve got so far. Lmk what y’all think!!

“You’re joking.” The acerbic tone of his voice would make weaker men cower in fear – has done so on many occasions in fact! 

It doesn’t even phase Qui-Gon’s serene smile. “Of course not, my young padawan. Why would I joke about something as important as this?”

“I told you to stop calling me that. We’re not in a fucking movie, Qui. And this is serious!” Obi-Wan growls, slamming his hands down on the table where Qui-Gon sits calmly and flipping the folder he’s holding open and around so the other can see. “When I told you I wanted a non-traditional student as a Little, what in the ever loving fuck possessed you to think that this is what I meant?”

Qui-Gon glances down at the folder as though he doesn’t know exactly what’s inside it – as though he isn’t the (former) president of the Big-Little Club mentorship program and in charge of setting up all the first year medical students with their second year mentors. The bright beaming smile of one Anakin Skywalker shines up at him. The older man takes a few long moments of silence to skim over the file before looking up at the other, fuming, man with an arched brow. “I don’t see what the issue is.”

“The issue,” Obi-Wan snarls, “is that I was looking to get someone more like us non-traditional: older, coming into medicine as a second profession, struggling to get back into the swing of studying after years away from academia. Instead you gave me a twenty-two year old, fresh from college, pretty boy. He skipped grades because he was that smart, Qui. He didn’t even take a gap year! He’s as traditional as you get!”

If anything, Qui-Gon’s brow arches ever higher. Obi-Wan gives serious thought to shaving it off while the man sleeps. “Perhaps if you looked closer, you’d have seen why I picked this one for you. I assure you, my young apprentice, he is far from traditional.”

Groaning, Obi-Wan makes sure to drag his chair back with a loud screech against the tile of the floor just for the satisfaction of watching Qui-Gon’s involuntary wince. Good. He slips into the chair opposite from him and spins the folder back so he can look at it, eyes scanning over the document with new intent. If Qui-Gon says there’s something there, there has to be. The guy may be a right git, but he’s not an outright liar. Most of the time. 

Anakin Skywalker. Age: 22. Hometown: Tatooine, Arizona. Undergraduate Degree: Mechanical Engineering, B.S. from Cal Poly Pomona. Hobbies: Taking things apart and putting them back together again, fixing things, building things, cars, racing ♡♡♡, baking Interesting Fact About You: I built my first robot at the age of nine. He was really dumb, but Mom loved him. His name was C3PO and he shorted out any time you tried to get him to do anything, but Mom kept him around anyways. Why Did You Go Into Medicine: While I was away at college, our house got broken into. Some thugs beat up my mom and stole everything we owned. I barely made it to the hospital before she died. I remember standing against the wall while she coded, feeling absolutely helpless as the crash team tried to resuscitate her. I never want to feel that helpless again. What Do You Want Out of This Program?: To learn how the fuck to study medicine. I have an engineer brain so I feel like all this stuff is a foreign language to me? Like I’m running Python but everyone else is over here using C++. Poor analogy because that’s more c-sci than engineering, but whatever. Basically I need help. Please. The academic advisors didn’t do shit and the teachers and office hours aren’t useful at all. So… You’re my only hope. 

And on second reading it seems less infuriating and more… endearing? Maybe. It might just be because he’s gotten the chance to rage at Qui-Gon out of his system so he can look at the application with clarity and see just how non-traditional this Anakin Skywalker really is. 

For one thing, he’s young. Younger than most applicants. He had to have skipped at least two grades to be here at twenty-two. And he’s an engineering major. That’s about as non-traditional as Obi-Wan’s philosophy major, as Qui-Gon’s MBA. The rest of it builds on his overall image of “non-traditional student,” but it’s the last question that really gets Obi-Wan, that seals his fate. Qui-Gon fucking knew it would, too, the asshole. It’s probably why he picked Anakin to be Obi-Wan’s Little, because he knows Obi-Wan’s weaknesses too well after a year acting as his Big. That bit about learning how to study? And it feeling like everyone else was speaking a foreign language? Feeling completely lost and helpless because all the other resources that were supposed to help you just weren’t panning out and this mentorship program was your last hope? Obi-Wan had been there last year. So he knows what Anakin’s feeling, what he’s going through. And it’s why Qui-Gon knows he’s going to accept, going to take Anakin on. 

He sighs, pinching his nose in frustration before looking back down at the smiling face of one Anakin Skywalker. “Did you really have to pick someone so attractive?” he finally sighs, looking up at Qui-Gon in resignation. 

Qui-Gon – the bastard – just chuckles. “If you’re going to spend the next year mentoring him, he might as well be someone you enjoy looking at. It’s part of why I picked you.” Then he has the gall to wink. 

The poor crowd of first years eating their lunch in the common area really have no idea how to react when Obi-Wan upends the table and launches himself at the third year student, Qui-Gon laughing the whole time. 

-

In the end, it takes Obi-Wan two days to actually reach out to Anakin. Not because he’s scared or anything because he’s not. It’s because Dr. Che’s GI anatomy review lecture had reminded Obi-Wan just how much he didn’t remember from first year anatomy-physiology lab and he’d deep dived back into his old anatomy notes and panic-blacked out midway through flipping through his Thieme “Atlas of Anatomy” textbook, only surfacing back up when Bant literally tugged him by the ear away from the dorm study space back to his room. So two days later, his under eyes are a bit darker than normal (but that’s pretty much a given in med school and no one even spares him a second glance) when he shoots Anakin a text.

[Message: To: Anakin Skywalker] Hello, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We were paired as part of the Big-Little program. I am reaching out to ask when you would be available to meet so that we could discuss further what you would like to get from this program and how best I could assist you to succeed in medical school. Please let me know at your earliest convenience.

Message sent, Obi-Wan tucks his phone away and makes his way to his locker so that he can grab his other notebook for Professor Koon’s physiology lecture. The man tends to like more… hands on demonstrations and Obi-Wan has taken to storing all his belongings except the essentials in his locker for the duration of Professor Koon’s lectures just in case. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket, cutting off a second later to start buzzing anew. This continues again and again before he finally pulls it out and flicks it to life. 

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Omg!!

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] I didn’t think you were ever going to text me

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Hi!!

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Wow your text sounds so formal like an email

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Are you free for lunch today??

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Sorry for the rush but like

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] We have a quiz Friday and

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] I have no idea how to study for it

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] So if you could help me that would be 

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] AMAZING

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi

[Message: From: Anakin Skywalker] You’re my only hope!!

Obi-Wan stares for a moment at the veritable wall of texts that completely blocks out his original message. He feels a migraine coming on. This is looking like it’s going to be a very, very painful year indeed.

[dweetwise]

I feel like Doctor/Hillbilly is so niche but I really love the ship atm, may I rq some hcs of them mayb? 😔💕

[oo this is a rarepair if i’ve ever sen one! hope you like because i definitely got carried away!]

getting together fluff, some nsfw mentions at the end!

Herman X Max headcanons

Max has always admired the more authoritative killers, like Evan and Herman, while Herman has always mostly ignored Max. Herman is kind of a snob in that he values intelligence above all else, and just brushed Max off as an uneducated, well, hillbilly

Max isn’t stupid and is desperate to prove himself to Herman. This causes him to awkwardly approach the older man and request that he “Show Max how to make ‘em gennies sparkle an’ go boom”

Herman raises an eyebrow. The kid wants to learn how to overcharge a generator? It’s not an easy task and took Herman several weeks to perfect. Herman promises to get back to him later, causing a disappointed Max to wander off

Herman writes a numbered step-by-step idiot-proof guide to learning the technique, even throwing in a few rough sketches of the machines in case Max doesn’t know what some of the terms mean

When he finds Max and gives him the instructions with a smug grin, Max’s whole face lights up, until he looks at the papers and his smile drops into a disappointed frown. “Is something the matter?” Herman asks, prepared to give the young man a stern lecture for questioning his hard work. “Ah well, this ‘s mighty fine of ya Her--err, sir! Thanks!” Max drawls nervously before sprinting off with the papers

Herman doesn’t see Max for the next few days and assumes the scatter-brained youth gave up on learning altogether. He’s in the middle of complaining to Philip about Max squandering all his efforts, when Philip points out a crucial fact, “You know Max can’t read, right?”, and Herman feels like smacking himself in the face for not thinking of the possibility sooner

Herman swallows his pride and ventures to Coldwind farm to teach Max his technique the old-fashioned way, expecting to find the young man moping in a corner somewhere or perhaps making stick animals or whatever it is hillbillies do

Instead, he finds Max by the generator in the shed, hunched over and tinkering with the machine with papers scattered about the entire floor. “Hiya Herman!” Max greets him enthusiastically, wiping his oily hands on his overalls

“Max, what are you doing? What are these?” Herman questions and glances at the papers

“I did it! Look!” Max exclaims and gives the generator a solid kick, short-circuiting it and causing it to spark violently. “I uhh--I couldn’t read ya book, so I look’d at tha pictures ya drew an looked inside a genny to see wha I was s’posed ta do,” Max explains, gesturing to a pile of papers next to him where he’s--Herman inhales sharply in surprise--drawn pages upon pages of mechanical diagrams of the machines, pinpointing the exact locations the kick will impact!?

Herman is at a loss for words, completely taken aback by the other man’s resourcefulness and technical skill. He sees Max looking at him nervously, clearly awaiting some sort of response from his tutor. “Excellent work, boy. Would you like to accompany me in my next generator experiment?” Herman compliments and Max goes beet red and shuffles his feet awkwardly. “Tha’ would be mighty fine, sir.” Max mumbles

Max starts spending a lot of time in Herman’s office, assisting him with any research that requires a knack for machinery. Herman often visits Max’s tool shed in the farm, where they test many of his ideas and Max tinkers with the generator to troubleshoot for or fix any failures

Herman, recognizing and impressed by Max’s potential, demands the younger learn how to read so he can further participate in the research. Max is giddy at the prospect, but after a couple of disastrous attempts Herman admits he’s a lousy teacher and bribes Sally to teach Max by offering the redhead unlimited access to his office

Max is happy and making great progress with his reading, and Herman feels a strange sort of pride for his protege. That’s why it takes him completely by surprise when one day, Max decides to kiss him out of the blue. Herman pulls the man off of him and demands answers. “Just what do you think you’re doing!?” he asks sternly. “S-sorry! ‘S just, me an’ Sally were readin’ them books a-an I thought ‘s what people do, like them fellas Heathcliff an’ Cath’rine--”

“Of course Sally has you read that fictional garbage over the anatomy books I provided,” Herman sighs and runs a hand over his face in exasperation. “’M sorry Herman, Sally said ‘s what people do when ‘ey luv some’un,” Max explains, shuffling awkwardly. “Hold on. Love? Me?” Herman asks, voice uncharacteristically breaking into an even higher octave from the shock. Of all the stupid things--

“Ya! I luv ya,” Max says without hesitation, beaming. “And you want to kiss... me,” Herman clarifies, trying to wrap his head around this sudden turn of events. “Already did. An’ I wanna kiss ya more an’ do naughty things with ya in a hayloft,” Max cheerily remarks. Herman feels his brain short-circuit from the implications coming out of his seemingly innocent apprentice’s mouth. “Come ‘un, I ain’t dumb, I know wha Evan ‘n Phil dis’pear in tha woods fer,” Max grins with a slight blush.

Herman’s always been a quick thinker, so he manages to run through all possible outcomes of this scenario in his head. It’s stupid. He should reject Max. But he can’t say that he’s not intrigued, and seeing the kid’s enthusiasm... Herman finally just shakes his head fondly and allows himself to lean into Max’s personal space. “I know you’re anything but dumb, kid. I also don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into,” he can’t suppress a dark chuckle, half expecting the younger to feel intimidated--

“Try me, pops,” Max challenges instead, grinning. “That’s it you little shit--” Herman has the time to give an idle threat before Max’s laughing mouth shuts him up with a kiss

It’s not the most healthy relationship as there’s a clear power imbalance but Herman is kind of a narcissist and gets off on it. Though he does genuinely care about Max, he’s not gentle and you’ll never hear him use the phrase “Are you sure?”

Max loves being praised both inside and outside the bedroom. Herman is stingy with his compliments, only giving them when he’s genuinely impressed, which makes them all the more special to Max

Max has a daddy kink ok I don’t make the rules. He doesn’t realize it and probably doesn’t even know what it means, but Herman is perceptive. When he takes a gander and urges Max to call him ‘daddy’ during one of their trysts he doesn’t expect it to do much of anything, but hearing his lover cry out the word and almost spill himself makes him realize it’s a control thing and now he’s very much on board

Herman tops at first, but once he sees Max’s enthusiasm and the younger learns to channel his energy, they fall into a habit of Max topping. Herman discovers himself to be a bit of a power bottom and begrudgingly admits that Max fucks better than him, making Max’s confidence soar

The other killers quickly find out about their relationship because Max can’t shut up about his adoration of Herman. They get some snide comments from the Legion brats and a blushing Amanda threatening Max to “Stop oversharing your fucking sex life or I’ll reverse beartrap your dick”, but nobody seems to really care what they do behind closed doors--with the exception of one

Evan is pissed, being somewhat of a father figure to Max and 1000% ready to bash in Herman’s skull for seemingly taking advantage of the younger, impressionable man. Max is upset a the accusations, Herman pretends to give a shit about Evan’s opinion because of Max, and eventually Philip and Sally have to get involved to calm Evan down, vouching for Herman’s non-sinister intentions and Max’s ability to make his own decisions

[i came up with max’s personality on the fly but i kind of love him now?? also i don’t know how old herman is but i always hc max as early twenties at most so have some age difference on the side]

[sepublic]

I managed to watch Infinity Train Book 2 finale!

I mean, everyone else has already said it, but... goodness what a phenomenal finale. What an amazing season, absolutely superb in EVERY respect! After Book 1 introduced a setting, Book 2 went out of its way to further expand on it! It... it’s like after Book 1, Owen and his team got the hang of what they wanted to do with the show even more and we got Cracked Reflection as a result!

Lake! Lake is free! She can see her reflection now! SHE GETS TO BE WITH JESSE AND EVEN MEETS NATE!!! Her emotional breakdown and anguished declaration of personhood at the end of the Tape Car lowkey gave me chills... That was powerful, watching her just break down in frustration at the pure, inherent unfairness of it all and even destroying robot workers minding their own business in her pain.

Really, that whole sequence in the Tape Car was nightmarish. Its name REALLY doesn’t quite cover what it’s like, and I felt like I was watching the Matrix with that scene of all of the pods lined up on a wall, robot tentacle-arms, people asleep and floating in murky liquid...

Also, that scene felt like all of the passengers were inside an even bigger, larger nervous system of sorts. And with how weirdly-organic it was for such an otherwise mechanical, sterile environment, I half-expected to see some horrific organic thing at the end of all of it, acting as the brain and nervous system for the Tape Car and potentially the entire Infinity Train! Goodness this train is so eldritch.

Seeing more of how the process works was also neat, as well as new robot workers! I kind of already expected the “Didn’t care about Lake and Dracula” bit but it was still neat, and on an unrelated note, we see what the point of the squiggly red-line vocoder is for on the pods; It’s apparently where the audio of One-One’s video comes from!

(Side-note, but that kid being messed up from accidentally killing a pet... That kind of hit close to home and honestly I felt that.)

And seeing the Steward again... FINALLY! Someone else suggested that the Steward is created to defend the Infinity Train’s mechanisms if they’re attacked, and this episode seemingly confirms it; It also makes the Steward’s preprogrammed command for passengers to ‘return to their seat’ also make more sense when you realize that the voiceline is probably meant for situations where passengers are in areas they really shouldn’t be (especially parts of the Infinity Train’s anatomy).

Everyone called it, but we FINALLY get to see One-One inside the Steward, piloting it as intended! And also, I’m glad to see I was correct in One-One now acting as a Lawful Neutral character due to his power and authority putting him at odds with people who are struggling with the Infinity Train’s system. Seeing him again is so weirdly nostalgic, and I love how we get to see the darker side of him as he struggles with what to do with Lake. Him popping out of the Steward to roll around in stress is amazing, too.

I love the idea of the Infinity Train struggling to quantify an ‘issue’ it can’t deal with by producing non-integers (many of which have no actual mathematical meaning, like ;P). It’s interesting that One-One talks about solutions to people’s problems, and how said problems are shown through numbers. And the solution to the problem is zero... It’s all like a complex mathematical pun and it’s incredibly clever. Also, him explaining that the train ‘fixes’ passengers... It makes me wonder if the Infinity Train is meant to be, like. A maintenance robot for humanity as a whole? A powerful machine built to ‘fix’ people’s malfunctions, a very specific kind of malfunction, an emotional one. This perspective and the Infinity Train’s mathematical, computer-like approach to everything (down to Lake fooling it as if by hacking) makes its nature and unknown origin all the more fascinating. 

Sieve isn’t happy... Big surprise there, but I didn’t expect him to get through the situation by suggesting a ‘solution’ to One-One’s problem that the latter darkly considers. He was always the more clever of the duo and good at dealing with/convincing people, and it shows. Not gonna lie, seeing him die by getting zapped by Dracula’s lasers and exploding from it in gorey fashion was... I should be more shocked, but after the Wasteland I’m not. God I love this show.

(Also, Sieve should show a little more respect to the Conductor and not PUT HIS FOOT ON HIM- He’s lucky One-One didn’t sic the Steward on him!)

Jesse having a second tape showing his experiences with Lake, all as memories building up to his newest problem, no Lake, was also great and I love how the show elaborates that tapes are specifically imbued with the memories related to and leading up to the issue that causes a passenger to board the train. Also, when he and Nate were talking about freeing Lake, I half-expected that joke theory about Jesse yeeting Nate down the stairs to get in trouble again was, like, going to happen, with Nate even voluntarily helping for it. But luckily the Infinity Train recognizes Jesse’s emotional distress of not having Lake as enough of a problem itself, and Nate doesn’t get any more broken bones.

(And can we appreciate how the FIRST thing Jesse fixates on after waking up is Lake? I LOVE THESE TWO)

I love in particular how Lake figures out how to cheat the system by reflecting Jesse’s number on her... And upon realizing this solution as well, Jesse’s number immediately goes to zero because he realizes it’s practically been solved! This kind of clever thinking and exploitation of the rules of a setting and using it to one’s advantage is one of my FAVORITE things to see in media, ever. It’s way more fun and clever than just a generic ‘Hero gets an emotional power boost’ that most stories have, and it’s part of what makes shows like Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure so endearing to me! Glad to see Infinity Train joining the list of shows that use galaxy-brain thinking to save the day!

I was really worried for a second that Sieve would stop Lake as she and Jesse escaped, and for a moment they seemed safe... But SOMEHOW he got a hold of Lake’s foot, genuinely surprising me after I sighed in relief when she arrived in the ‘regular’(?) world. At that point I was wondering what Alan Dracula was even doing, when LO AND BEHOLD Lake uses grass to beckon him!

Really, I love how in these last two episodes, Lake has figured out how Dracula operates and has grass and solutions stored accordingly. It just goes to show how well she (they? him? Lots of trans/NB coding with Lake) knows him. Also, I was lowkey anticipating some dramatic reveal about Alan Dracula, what with the foreboding foreshadowing in the minisodes and One-One’s confusion... But no, hilariously, he’s just like that. And that’s amazing, alongside the fact that One-One just treats him as... A particularly unusual creation of his, even by the train’s standards. (I should rewatch Dracula’s minisode cameos under the context of One-One having made him). Also, apparently One-One DOES design train inhabitants? Or is Dracula just the one? How many does he design? All of them? SO MANY QUESTIONS-

Finally, we get our happy ending, and Lake FINALLY gets her true name, which I’ve been looking forward to all season! Wonderful, phenomenal, amazing, brilliant season and amazing ending! Now I already miss Jesse, Lake, and Alan Dracula. I was a bit disappointed we didn’t get to check up on Tulip or Atticus, but perhaps that’s for another season.

This DOES make me wonder what Book 3 could be about, because there’s so much potential! We still have that blue-haired girl that was shown at a panel, whom an animator was excited to show off... Considering her distinctive trait I think she may be the next protagonist. Others have also suggested the old man that Lake scared off, and that’d be neat as well (Why not both? Perhaps we could have two passengers in a season, or one after the other!). There’s also the issue of the Apex, which as I expected, would be brought up in Book 2 to probably be resolved in Book 3. It’s like how Lake and her storyline were introduced in Book 1, and seemingly ended, only to be revealed that Mace and Sieve are still after her, and THAT storyline is truly resolved in Book 2.

I’m just excited, man. Between The Owl House’s premiere and the Book 2 finale, I’m just blown-out and exhausted. It’s been a wonderful train ride and I can’t wait for the next stop!

[hidelaney]

Hi Delaney!

Ah, yes the quarantine. It’s getting to me. Definitely. Suddenly I have no office to go to. But it’s good, I think. Make the CEO realize the upper management has no literal reasons to keep us in the office. Like at all. Seriously, everyone from my team is working from home and the level of productivity is actually better. Because guess what? Not having people breathing down our necks is SUPER helpful. So HA!

Okay, about Larry Stylinson. You’re right, I did fall into YouTube Blackhole. And Twitter. And I just watched 1D San Siro concert. By watching, I mean I actually paused the work I’m doing and looked at the screen while it played. Admittedly I was also doing chores but! It wasn’t just background music! It counted!

When I said I could put Larry Stylinson in a microwave and be done with it, I mean the theories and compilation videos are so readily available and easy to digest like, comparable to instant meals.

It’s so neatly packaged, too. Like, I was introduced to Larry Stylinson basically yesterday. Now I could recite the storyline in my head whenever I please. Or when I want to please you, in this case.

Let’s see if I can get it all summarized down here. FYI, I’m borrowing your assumption that Taylor was in on it the whole time. And Eleanor, too. Because I actually know of her existence now! Character discovery! Except they’re real people so I feel the need to point out that I’m making all the assumptions all over the place. I’m doing this for you, my dear Delaney.

Keep in mind that we all need character growths and personal developments when I make non-flattering assumptions toward your favorite people here, ok?

First up! HS & TL met in a toilet.

Now it’s debatable whether it was during an X-Factor audition or Battle of the Bands. For the sake’s of my next argument, I’m going with they knew each other before X-Factor. Likely during their time in White Eskimo and The Rogue, respectively. Their (unconfirmed?) first words to each other were ‘Oops!’ & ‘Hi’

Up next, the X-Factor audition and getting put together in a band.

So here is where I kind of needed my first assumption for this to work. Their chemistry was so obviously through the roof. It made so much sense if they were already sort-of friends and then got put together in a band. Plus, I don’t think the way Louis jumped into Harry’s arms is something a relative stranger would do. And if they only knew each other out of everyone there, it’s no wonder they were both so apparently clingy and codependent. It’s like a situation where both of them went ‘I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but at least I know you and you know me. So we’re bestie now. No take back!”

And then there’re video diaries, twitter cams, radio interviews, and other broadcasting media they appeared in. These need no explanation because you’ve probably seen all of them and I have functioning ears and eyes. So, yes, I saw videos of them being all disgustingly cute all over the place. During the so-called ‘Fetus’ phase (a wording which I personally find rather disturbing, no offense to your anatomy textbooks or anything.) They’re so sweet. Especially whenever there’s a mention of how they moved in and lived together. Their interactions must’ve been responsible for so many tooth cavities. So many aww-worthy moments. On stage, on screen, behind the scenes, potato cams. Basically everywhere in front of everyone.

Then 1D blew up and were well on their way to become their label’s biggest and brightest BCG-metrix star. It’s not hard to see why investors’d be invested (lol) in employing every marketing strategy possible to keep 1D in the spotlight.

There’s a twofold marketing exploitation to Larry Stylinson that I see from miles away.

Hard sell the heteronormative version of the boys. (To capture major market shares)

Never had Harry or Louis explicitly confirm nor deny their relationship status. (To capture additional market shares with queerbaiting)

But let’s say Harry and Louis were actually together and making 1) too difficult to achieve. Otherwise this whole thing falls apart like a wet house of cards.

Thus, here came what I’d like to call ‘dousing a fire with gasoline’. This is where there’s a sudden drop of their interactions in public and Larry Stylinson isn’t a cutesy smashup name of two boys who got along like a house on fire anymore. This is the part where a ship turned into a full fledged conspiracy theory. And it’s MEGA COOL WICKED awesome.

I say this in the nicest way possible. A tragedy is the grandest form of entertainments. Misery loves having friends.

Also, I’d like to say this. I’m having fun thinking of this as a fictional arc. Because I still feel like it will shatter my heart in to a million pieces if anything resembling what I write next was true.

Since breaking into US market was the Kickstarter into a global one, to the US 1D went.

This was where the heavy closeting got way more difficult to handle. Elounor had the excuse of Eleanor being a private citizen and therefore should be left alone for the most part. Haylor was the complete opposite. Taylor Swift was and still is an American Sweetheart. Harry Styles might have been the most famous British Harry if it weren’t for a (former?) prince and a wizard. (Seriously, we should not call any of our hypothetical future children ‘Harry’ unless you thought ‘Albus Severus Potter’ was a good idea. Poor kiddo.)

The saddest part about Harry Styles public image was how reminiscent of Emma Watson it felt. The minute they turned eighteen, their media portrayals immediately became hyper-sexualized. Suddenly, they left the human zoo into an open hunting game. Famous lives are terrifying.

Anyhow, say, Taylor Swift knew what the US music industry was like. She’s been playing the long game for quite some time. She got to know Harry and then became rather protective of him. Her conclusion was that ‘hyping up Haylor’ would: 1) increase media exposure for both Taylor and 1D which would translate to bigger channels of revenue for all involved, 2) hold the speculation about Harry’s sexual orientation at bay because, as horrible as it sounds, gays don’t sell in America.

This one fit nicely with your ‘Out of the Woods’ interpretation. Taylor wasn’t just spending time with Harry. She was actively enforcing the lock on the closet. Which explains why Louis seemed to resent Taylor quite obviously and quite a lot. His own heteronormative scripts with Eleanor had been relatively tame. Harry’s whirlwind series of romances in public had only just begun.

As Harry started gaining a womanizer reputation in earnest, so did the Almost-Subtle Couple Tattoo Sprees.

If ‘Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis’ tweet was a sign that circumstances were about to go south for them. The tattoos were signs that the circumstances had already gone to shit. The tragic package had been shipped, signed, and delivered.

This is where non-flattering assumptions rise to the surface. I think 1D had been overworked past the point of exhaustion. Self-destruction as a coping mechanism became rather prevalent and pervasive within the band. The boys gleefully collected regrets as a new favorite pastime, some more than others. Consequences were nipping at their heels.

Then Zayn left right in the middle of a world tour and all hell broke loose.

Here comes the biggest Assumption Affair!

Louis and Liam, the last to release their solo debut albums, were the most prominent songwriters for the band. I’m not going to go on about Liam because I’m here to give you Larry Stylinson. And this is already way too long as it is. But, needless to say, the first discussion of a prospective solo career probably hit them the hardest.

If each song they wrote was a battle scar, Louis was still bleeding for the band when Harry, of all people, brought up the idea of a hiatus and solo careers. Realizing how many songs Harry already had waiting in the back catalogue must’ve felt like a slap in the face. Or a punch in the gut. Whichever you think is worse/more dramatic. I’m not picky.

Remember self-destruction as coping mechanism? What about relationship-destruction as coping mechanism? Louis cheated and had a baby with someone else. Infidelity at its finest.

ALERT! THIS IS A NEON SIGN OF ASSUMPTION AFFAIR! Please don’t kill me. I told you I was gonna make unflattering assumptions toward your favorite people. I just did as I promised!!! *run for cover*

Anyway...

I’m gonna take you back a little. I mentioned earlier how Eleanor was a private citizen and therefore should be left alone. At times when Louis desperately needed to be left alone, Elounor makes so much sense. If she’s a PR-only girlfriend, she’s a stellar employee. If it’s not just a PR thing, she’s as forgiving as a saint. Just, if it’s Harry and Louis, they likely both messed up and hurt each other badly. If it’s Louis and Eleanor,... I mean... Have you seen a meme where you misspell a word so badly that the autocorrect goes, ‘I don’t know what to tell you, man’?... Louis would be that misspelled word and Eleanor would be the very best autocorrect that practically brute force through every word in the Oxford AND Urban dictionary to find out what that word was. If that’s who she is, then bless her soul. However, for the sake of this argument, we will proceed with the assumption that she’s the star employee of the decade.

Losing loved ones and grieving for them are inevitable parts of human lives. Nothing put more things into perspectives than losing someone so fundamentally dear to you. When I heard Louis Tomlinson’s ‘Two of Us’ for the first time, I remembered walking through an actual forest my grandpa planted for us because he wanted to make sure his great grandkids would have a nice home to grow up in. Do you remember when you called and told me that he died the night I got on my first solo international flight ten months after the fact? I wanted to hate you for keeping something this big a secret from me. I wanted to hate everybody at home for that. But then you told me that it was what my grandpa had wanted. That he didn’t want me to be a sad sack of an exchange student. That you decided to not listen to my parents and call to tell me just before I was due home. So that I’d have time to feel hurt about being lied to. So that I could get all the angry words out. So that I wouldn’t scream at my parents when I got home and learnt the truth. So that you could take the brunt of my grief instead.

I just took a break to have a little cry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You did the best you could for me when I lost my grandpa. I still managed to effectively shut you out for months. Just because you were the messenger of the bad news. What I’m trying to say is that grief changes people. It changed me. For the worst for a bit. And then for the better once I came to term with what it means to me. There’s a quote from Rosamund Lupton that sums it up neatly.

“Grief is love turned into an eternal missing.”

I guess this is the part where I connected the dots back to Harry and Louis. Well, their music definitely give grief different names. Both albums talk about coming to term with it and moving forward. Every songs they wrote could be woven to fit the narrative of Larry Stylinson and events surrounding them. If you buy the theory, then the good news is both Fine Line & Walls seemed to have a positive ending. One thing I know for sure, though, is that no matter how convincing a conspiracy theory maybe, it could all be built upon a faulty assumption. I’d probably have a way easier time disregarding Elouner if I didn’t have you as a solid proof in my life that, yes, people like the best autocorrect exists. It’s funny how I feel no hesitation at all in categorizing Haylor as a calculated move. Because in my head that’s just par for the course in business. And it genuinely terrifies me in a way. Who the hell I could’ve become if it weren’t for you knocking me off the ground and pouring kindness on me.

I know I skipped a lot of stuff. Missing names like Caroline, Danielle, Kendall, Freddie, Camille, Xander, etc. But HS and LT have a decade of history on public record and, frankly, my interest ran out four paragraphs ago. So just let me conclude this.

I think it’s tiring, spending this much time speculating on someone else’s relationship history. I must admit that I had to get it out of my chest because it was way too interesting to let go off. But now, I feel like I’m just going to stream Heartbreak Weather and listen to ‘No Judgement’ on repeat. Nile is my favorite non-problematic celebrity. I could spell his name so wrong and it probably won’t be an issue as long as I politely say, “Sorry, Mr Niall Horan”

This quarantine clearly leaves me with too much time on my hands.

Virtual hugs and kisses

Your Incredible Sasha 😘

[ddaengyoonmin]

Neptune

Pairing: Mermaid!Taehyung x Space explorer/Scientist!Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

A/N: I really have nothing to say other than I took this way too far lol I hope you all enjoy it! The ending might be confusing lol send asks if you want to know anything and id love to hear what you thought! 

Word count: 16k (yeah that happened)

Warnings: Oral male and female receiving, descriptions of fainting, drowning and death, guns, swearing, (I think thats it, let me know if i missed anything)

Tagging a few of you who seemed excited for this! :) @mischiefmakerliesmith5 @yeontanismypresident @oh-worm-yee-haw @kpopgirlbtssvt @zombiewerewolfqueen

Summary:

No one with legs lived on the surface of Neptune, walkers such as yourself lived on the moons.  The spacecrafts that you traveled in constantly moved to and from all of the different moons, but  no one ever went down to the surface.  That's where the swimmers lived.  You’d heard tales of the fishtailed people that swam in the great sea below the moons, some called them mermaids.  But no one had ever actually seen one before, well, until now.  You and the scientific research team that you had gathered together had built the first spaceship in your people’s history that could go into the waters below.  You’d figured you’d snap a few pictures and return within the month, but things didn’t go as planned.  Your ship was captured by the swimmers and they seemed just as in awe at you and your team as you were with them.   They decided to let you go but only on the condition that you to bring their leading scientist back up to the moons with you, so you could learn from each other.  You learn quite a bit from Taehyung, in particular, your anatomy seemed to be his favorite subject…

---------------------------------------

Triton was a gloomy and desolate place, but the moons of Neptune were all your people had known.  There were a few large cities on each moon, each looking identical to the others, all of the buildings were tall and gray and matched the one sitting next to it.  Each neighborhood’s houses looked no different from the one on either side.  Original thought and creativity seemed to be scarce in your society. 

Even the clothes sold in stores seemed to fall into a range of plain styles and blacks and grays.  

Ships flew back and forth between the moon’s daily exchanging supplies.  Some citizens worked on other moons during the week and would return to their home moon for the weekends.  You were lucky to not have to travel far for your work, in fact, you lived right on the same plot of land in dorms with all the other scientists at your facility. 

You were the lead researcher and developer on a new type of shuttle that could fly through space, and also dive into water.  You didn’t know too much about the engineering of it all, your studies had all mostly leaned to biology and astronomy and you had dabbled in geology and physics.  But, your team had been from all different sciences and studies, so, together you had found many ways to overcome the struggles of its creation.

It was a particularly difficult task, considering Triton didn’t have many places for you to test out the ship you were developing.   There were no lakes or big bodies of water. 

Your life’s goal, from when you were a small child had always been the same.  You’d stare out your window at the giant blue planet that hung in the sky, and you’d dream of what life would be like down there.  

You’d heard stories, but everyone said they were nothing but fairy tales.  Your science driven brain couldn’t quite escape the idea that you wanted to prove that they were real, and figure out the mysteries of the swimmers from the stories yourself.  

You knew that it could possibly all be fake, maybe the planet wasn’t even made of water and just looked like it.  

Those were the types of unanswered questions that motivated you to wake up every morning and continue your work.

You had been working on the ship with your team for about 3 years, and the day had finally come to put together the finishing touches and head out on your exploration. 

You weren’t surprised that it had made the news, headlines read ‘Hopeful Scientist and Her Team will Attempt to Uncover the Mysteries Bellow.’ and unfortunately prompted some like

‘Chasing Fairy Tales?  The Scientist who believes in Mermaids’   that one you weren’t quite fond of.  The majority of people thought it was a ridiculous idea, but you never let it crush your spirits and excitement. 

--------------------------------------------------------

It was going to take about 2 days to get down to Neptune, nothing compared to a lifetime of curiosity, work and waiting.  

A large crowd of excited citizens and media came to see you and your team off.  You smiled and waved out one of the windows before strapping yourself into your seat.  You had traveled by shuttle many times before, though the design of your shuttle was different than most of the other looked, you were used to this part of space travel. 

Yet, you still felt your stomach turning into knots. 

There were so many things that could go wrong once you got down to the surface of neptune.  One tiny leak could risk the safety of your whole group.  Or a mistake in the system that was supposed to balance the pressure within your ship when you’d dive down into the depths could cause you all to perish almost instantly.  

The team that was coming with you consisted of four others besides yourself. 

A photographer named Jungkook that you insisted must be included to capture all of your findings. 

The aerospace engineer that did most of the designing and tests on the shuttle, Namjoon, also joined your team.  Most of those who actually had worked with you up until now had been too terrified to see this through all the way, but Namjoon had been so excited to see for himself, what he considered his greatest creation, put into action.

The government who had funded your project through the grants that you had basically had to sell your soul for, insisted on your bringing a military general with your team for protection.  You had argued that you couldn’t imagine what kind of help he would be underwater in a small ship.  Yet Jin was forced onto your team.  You didn’t quite like him, or any of the vibes he gave off, but he had actually volunteered for this.  Part of you thinks there must’ve been some good pay in it for him.  

The final member was the pilot/mechanic named Hoseok, he would fly the ship and be tasked with quick fixes and repairs of the ship if anything were to go wrong. 

-------------------------------

Everything had gone smoothly on the take off.  Next was just time to wait and prepare yourselves for what you may discover. 

You and Jin had gotten off to a rocky start when it came time for dinner the first day.

He’d mostly been silent and kept to himself but when you handed him his packaged space meal, he had scoffed and waved his hand away at it. 

“This is literally what you’ll be eating for the next month we are here, I’d get used to it if I were you.”  You snapped at him.

He grumbled something under his breath as he caved in and took it.

“I’m sorry what was that?” You raised your eyebrows.

“I said what idiot decided to go for the bland vitamin protein packs.  You know they had ones with actual food right?” 

You glared down at the black haired man.  He was wearing the same uniform as the rest of your team, silver sweatpants, and a black t-shirt with a silver jacket with a blue stripe up the side.  His nametag on his jacket read, General of Space Military Kim Seokjin. 

“Well Mr. Kim Seokjin.  I’m the one who purchased it.  It saved us money, we didn’t have a big budget for food here.  Probably so we could pay your enormous salary for your unnecessary presence here.” you growled back. 

Namjoon had stepped in as he saw Jin’s face growing red.  

“It’s only the first day guys, let's keep things civil okay?” he said putting his arms up between the two of you. 

You sighed and nodded.  “Sorry for being unprofessional.  I’m on edge today.”  

Jin sulked away to eat his meal in his room. 

You stayed in the small dining area with Namjoon. 

“I’m just so nervous this was all for nothing.  What if we get there and It's literally just empty water.” You frowned. 

Namjoon put a hand on your shoulder and gave you a comforting look. 

“I know, but we’ve come this far.  We should stay positive, I want this to go well too” 

You nodded and wrapped him into hug, “Thanks Joon” 

That was the other thing about Namjoon.  He was your best friend. You had met in college and realized that he shared your curiosity for the life that may be on Neptune.  He’s the one who encouraged you to go for it and offered his help in constructing the ship that would take you to your dream. 

You’d hooked up with him once or twice, he was actually the man you’d lose your virginity to.  But, it's always remained unromantic, purely a friends with benefits deal.  You never wanted a relationship to get in the way of your dream research project.  

The photographer Jungkook entered the room for a moment, noticing the two of you embraced.  

“Oh sorry-” he stuttered thinking he walked in on a personal moment. 

“No it’s fine,” you pulled away from Namjoon and smiled.  “How’s it going?” 

Jungkook settler down into a chair on the other side of the small chrome dining table. 

“I’m pretty excited” Jungkook spoke “Tired of black and white.  Ready for some blue” he chuckled. 

The reason that you had picked Jungkook’s portfolio out of the many submissions of photographers to join the expedition was for that exact reason. 

Everything on Triton and the other moons were so plain and colorless.  Everyone’s submissions contained basically the same types of photographs.  A grey building, the grey empty landscape of Triton or Neso.  Even the wildlife back on the moons were colorless.  Being adapted to blend into their environment, most every animal was some shade of pale gray.  One person even just had an entire portfolio of the same photographed rock.  They were well done, and artistic, but nothing stood out to you. 

Jungkook on the other hand, when you were presented with his portfolio, your eyes lit up, it was a series of beautiful shots of objects sitting in front of the big blue planet of neptune in the sky.  It was extremely creative, and you could tell his love for the blue glow of your destination planet. 

Hoseok slept in the pilot's seat with the shuttle on the autopilot course most of the next two days, only coming out of the room for meal times and to do a routine check of all of the parts of the ship he was in charge of maintaining. 

You passed the time double checking the inventory of equipment you’d brought, and playing cards with Namjoon and Jungkook. 

The blue planet now took up almost the entire view from the windows of your shuttle.  It was magnificent and you felt every part of your body tingling with excitement.  

You were set to land in a few hours, your dream was coming true. 

Everyone was rushing around getting prepared.  Namjoon had come up with a suggestion a few months ago to design an underwater suit, similar to what the astronauts used to be able to breathe in space, but for underwater.  Though none of you planned on leaving the ship, you all would wear them while the ship was first  underwater just encase something malfunctioned.  

You were getting changed and geared up in your room, when your door swung open on you still half naked. 

Namjoon walked in chuckling at the way you scurried to cover yourself up. 

“Just me” he spoke

“Fuck that scared me” you laughed. 

He walked over to you and rubbed your shoulder up and down. “You ready? I can’t believe it's finally happening. I feel like I’m going crazy with anticipation.”

“Same here.  We’ve waited for this moment for longer than I can even remember.”  

Hoseok’s voice rang out from over the speakers “Landing in 30 minutes.  Everyone gets in their seats and buckle up” 

Namjoon gave you a quick smile and a thumbs up and left you to finish getting ready. 

You shakily got the rest of your suit ready, lastly putting on the helmet and making sure it was secured to the oxygen source. 

As you walked out to the seats, you noticed Jin was now equipped with a gun on his hip. 

“And how the fuck do you plan on using that? I will literally kill you if you shoot any holes in my ship.” You hissed at him as you sat and started to buckle up. 

He rolled his eyes.  “Its for if we have to go outside of the ship obviously.  Its made for underwater use” 

“Well here’s to hoping nothing comes to that.” you sighed.  

None of you knew what you were entering into.  If there were any creatures living in the water, how large were they?  How dangerous were they? 

-------------------------------------

The ship shook and rattled as it entered Neptune’s atmosphere, the deep blue water below looked so close that you could just reach your hand out and touch it. 

You have to force yourself to keep your eyes open, not wanting to miss a moment of it.  

With a giant thud that jolted all of you hard into the back of your chairs, the shuttle hit the surface of the water.  

It was the smoothest landing that you could have hoped for, the ship was built for the impact.  

Your shuttle now floated on top of the surface of the waters.  You let out a sigh of relief, though the mission had only began, this was one of the moments you were most worried about.  It was over and had been a success.  

Your team cheered and clapped their hands for Hoseok and his successful piloting as you all un buckled and got out of your seats. 

Hoseok turned around and smiled bowing like a performer on a stage. 

Then looked to you, 

“Alright boss.  What now?”  He asked. 

You thought for a moment, you’d had a set schedule and plan, but you couldn’t help but want to take a moment to just let this sight set in. 

The blue water was making your ship sway to and fro in soothing movements.  

“Lets have Jungkook take some pictures” you decided.  That would give all of you some time to adjust and observe as well. 

Jungkook nodded excitedly and went to his trunk that stored his camera equipment, rifling through to find the best lense. 

Your group now took off their helmets, feeling comfortable that nothing was going to go wrong at this point, but keeping them close on your hips just in case.

You walked over to the giant glass window that took up almost the entirety of one of the room’s walls, staring out in awe. 

The sun made the water sparkle and glisten, it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.  You heart was jumping for joy, you felt it might just jump all the way out of your chest and dive right into the water. 

Namjoon walked up and stood beside you.  He opened his mouth to speak but then shook his head and just looked out the window with you. 

You were speechless as well.  You were the first people to have ever observed this sight, it was an honor and was almost a spiritual experience.  

Jungkook now stood on the other side of you, snapping pictures with a giant grin on his face.  He paused and turned to you. 

“Oh my god, I never want to go back” He chuckled.  

---------------------------------------------------------------

After about a couple hours and all of you eating your lunch in front of the window, you decided it was time to begin your descent. 

Hoseok got back in the pilot's seat, you could see him growing slightly nervous, so you walked to his side with a curious expression on your face. 

“Everything okay?” 

He sighed and nodded, fidgeting with some of the controls, “Yeah, I’ve done this in the simulator so many times.  But, that was just a guess.  I’m about to be the first pilot to shuttle underwater...Just...taking it all in” 

“You’ll be famous for this” you smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. 

He grinned widely “Yeah, We all will be huh? Thanks y/n.” 

“Do we have to buckle up for this?” Jungkook asked 

You shake your head “No it should be smooth and slow as we dive.” 

“Awesome” he clapped his hands together “I’m gonna sit by the window and take a video of us diving then” 

---------------------------------------------------

Slowly your shuttle dove down until you were surrounded by water.  So far there were no signs of life anywhere, you were starting to get a little discouraged until you heard Jungkook squeal loudly. 

“Hoseok stall the descent!” you shouted. Hoseok listened and the ship stilled.  Your group ran over to the window where Jungkook sat with his face pressed against the window. 

A small creature no bigger than your hand was slowly moving along the window.  It was yellow and round, and had a large fin that wiggled back and forth as it moved. 

“Jungkook pictures!” you spoke quickly.  He scurried to capture the creature. 

It was so strange and new.  

“Hoseok how many meters down are we?” you asked

Hoseok checked a screen near his pilot’s seat. “About 30”  

“Hoseok I’m a scientist...can we not do ‘about’…” you chuckled

“29.8” he replied

You quickly jotted it down into your log of events that you’d been keeping. 

When you lifted your head up from your writing you let out a large gasp. 

A larger creature now swam past.  It seemed to be a meter long and was snake like, it was bright red with black stripes around it.  

Your team pouted slightly when the creatures disappeared from view.  But you were still completely giddy over the excitement of having discovered new life. 

“Let's go down further” you told Hoseok and he nodded and returned to his seat. 

For the next few hours you ventured further down into Neptunes depths.  Your team had discovered at least 30 unique creatures that Jungkook had been able to take pictures of.  You documented the depth and time at which you’d seen each of them with a quick summary of their behaviors.  

“I think we should go back to the surface for a while” Hoseok suggested.  “It’ll be getting dark soon and we should surface for the night” 

You were slightly disappointed about that “Are you sure? Can’t we just go a little deeper?”

“Honestly, pressure wise, this is as deep as we are going to be able to go.  The pressure room that the ship was tested in wasn’t capable of testing pressures any more than what we are currently at.  The ship might still handle it, but we don’t know for sure.  For our safety I’m going to advise against it…” 

“10 more meters?” You pleaded batting your eyelashes. 

“Y/n.  If he says it's not safe I’m not going to allow it.” Jin hissed. 

“Allow it?” you spun to face him with your jaw dropping.  “I’m sorry, I thought I was in charge not you?” 

“I’d think that the guy with the gun in really in charge” he smirked, putting his hand to his hip. 

So that's really why he wanted the gun on him.  It wasn’t just for safety from the creatures of the waters.  It was to make sure that he remained in a position of authority over the rest of the crew. 

You shake your head.  

“You wouldn’t do that in here. Hoseok. 10 more meters” you ordered sternly. 

Jin slowly stepped so that his body was almost touching your own, he stared down at you angrily. 

“I said no.  I’m not dying over this stupid mission” 

You gulped.  

“I think if we do 10 more meters I can ascend fast enough that it wouldn’t be a problem.  Any malfunctions would be solvable.” Hoseok spoke calmly, wanting to relieve some of the tension and calm down the man with the gun. 

Jin’s eyes narrowed “Fine.  But if anything happens. I’m calling this mission and we return immediately” 

“You don’t have that authority!” you yelled out. 

“Actually I do.” he pulled out a government note from his pocket and shoved it in front of your face.  

“You really think the government was going to just let something like this happen without being in control of it?” 

The sheet read that Jin was capable of overriding any decisions you’d make.  Shit.  

You groaned and hit the paper away from your face. 

“Fine.  But I don't think anything will go wrong” 

Almost like you had jinxed it, the ship lunged to the side, rolling onto an angle that caused everything not secured to slide to one side of the room and your whole team to fall over. 

“Fuck!” you heard Hoseok yell out as he tried to maintain balance while messing with the controls “I can’t do anything.  Our systems aren’t working” 

You felt your heart rate quicken, you tried to pull yourself back up as you stared wide eyed at Namjoon who had the same look of fear and surprise on his face. 

Almost as soon as your team had regained their footing, it happened a second time.  

This was not good…

“What the fuck is happening!” you screeched, pulling yourself over to the windows and looking around, not seeing anything but the darkening waters.  

Your ship seemed to be...moving?

“Y/n...we have a big problem here” Hoseok’s voice trembled “We’re descending...fast…” 

You felt yourself growing faint, had you just doomed every soul on this shuttle with your grand dreams and ideas?  

Your eyes were fluttering shut as you fell to the side, you could hear Jungkook crying.  And you swore you heard Namjoon throw up right before your consciousness slipped away from you.  

-------------------------------------------------

When your eyes started to open, you expected nothingness.  Maybe you were still dreaming, because everything was bright.  A warm yellow glow touched everything in the room.  The room was a mess, Jungkook’s camera equipment scattered across the floor along with all of the notebooks and papers you’d been writing in.  A coffee cup had spilled over and a giant puddle was surrounding the floor next to Hoseok who was lying unconscious. 

Jungkook who was lying flat on his back had also not yet come to.  Namjoon who was next to you seemed to be just waking up same as you.  And Jin was nowhere in sight. 

Your gaze followed the light up to the windows, it seemed you were still underwater, yet this looked like...a city? It was colorful and magnificent with sea life floating around everywhere.  Your ship appeared to be landed on the steps of a very tall and heavily decorated stone building that had large colorful shells all around it.

What the hell? 

You gasped and stood too quickly almost falling back over.  

Have you found them? 

You almost screamed out when a figure appeared in front of the window.  

It looked like an adult man, in your human years he’d probably be in his 20’s, he was shirtless so you could see how muscular he was.  He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in your life.  His skin seemed to have an iridescent glow glossed over every inch of himself.  

Your eyes trailed down and you now noticed that his lower half, was definitely not human.  Just below his waist, his skin stopped, and a navy blue scaling that you’d seen on some of the sea creatures you’d observed was on him.  It bound his legs together into one long form, and where feet would usually be on a person was a translucent, large, tail that also had similarities to some of the smaller sea creatures you’d seen.  

He had long flowing blue hair that floated in the water as he moved along the glass, peering in at you. 

You really had found them, they were real. 

As terrified as you were, you couldn’t help but feel a little excited too. 

You’d been laughed at for wanting to install an underwater speaker system to your ship, but you now thanked yourself for that. 

You shakily made your way to the control panel and picked up the corded microphone, holding down the button and pausing a moment to debate on what your first words should be? 

‘We come in peace?’ ‘Hi?’  Shit.  You’d always thought about what you’d say to a mermaid if you’d ever met one, but all of that seemed to have been lost to the nervousness that you felt. 

The fish man saw that you had noticed him and was now floating right in your line of view, cocking his head to the side while he looked you over. 

You cleared your throat and spoke into the microphone

“We are friends.  Explorers”  You spoke slowly, pointing to the others on your ship.  Not even knowing if he’d understand you.  He mouthed something back, you realize that he must be speaking. Shit, you’d forgotten to turn the receiving microphone on. 

Your fingers fumbled over the control panel and you found the red button, pressing it so it now glowed ‘on’ 

“Sorry, what did you say?” you spoke into your mic, still not sure whether anything you were saying was getting across. 

“I spoke, we are no friends.  Your warrior injure one citizens.  We have now” 

You gasped.  He spoke your language!  Not perfectly but it was more than enough to have a conversation with him.  How that was possible was a discussion for another time.  As you realize now, that he was referring to the missing Jin.  He must’ve left the ship to investigate and shot at one of them. 

“I apologize for our…” you thought over if you should just use the word he used and decided that was best, “For our warrior.  I’m sure he was just scared.  Is your citizen going to be okay?” 

The merman pressed his forehead to the glass looking around the room you were in. 

“Will be okay.  Getting medical care now they are.  You have more weapon?”  The merman suddenly seemed to get spooked and quickly turned around and swam a few feet from the ship, still looking in at you but hovering further back. 

You realized Namjoon had just walked over to your side.  

“W-what…” Namjoon gasped out “They are real? Oh my god they are real!” he grinned. 

“They are real, and Jin shot one of them” you whispered in a hiss “They captured him.  And us.” 

Namjoon looked around the room realizing Jin was indeed missing. 

“That idiot” he shook his head. 

“Another friend” you spoke into the mic at the merman “No weapons.  Our warrior had the only weapon” 

The merman swam back over to the glass and looked unconvinced.  “Don’t trust…” he muttered. 

“Why here?” he spoke louder now

“We came to see you.  To learn.  Not to hurt.  I’m very sorry about that.  He isn’t a friend” you decided to just throw Jin under the bus with that, in hopes that the man would trust you better. 

“Not friend?” he thought a moment.  “Learn…” 

“Yes, we came from the moons” you pointed up “We came to learn about this planet” 

“We learn too” the man nodded “We like learn.  We want learn”  

“Awesome, well maybe we can learn some things from each other for a while before we leave” you threw in “We do need our warrior back, or we will be in trouble with our government” 

“You said not friend?” He looked confused.  

“Right, but we still can’t return without him” You told him. 

“You don’t return” the merman crossed his muscular tan arms over his chest.  “We don’t let return” he sternly spoke. 

“Woah” a voice came from behind you.  You realized Jungkook was now awake and approaching the glass with his camera in hand held up towards the merman

“Jungkook wait” you spoke to late. 

“Weapon!” the merman yelled and hissed, pulling himself back from the glass, his hair now stood straight up as he bared his teeth growling animalistically at Jungkook. You noticed he had pointed teeth, every one of them sharp. 

“Wait wait!” you waved your hands “It’s not a weapon, see” 

You stood in front of Jungkook’s camera.  “Take a picture of me Kook” you whispered.  

Jungkook was now shaky after the behavior of the merman, but he nodded and held up his camera.  

The merman got close to the glass again pressing his face against it with wide eyes as Jungkook took a picture of you.  

“Can I?” you held your hand out to Jungkook asking for the camera.  He shrugged and handed it over to you. 

You pulled up the picture that was taken and brought the camera to the glass to show the merman. 

“Picture” you told him “See.  That's what he was doing.”  you smiled, trying to show the merman you were being friendly. 

He nodded slowly and repeated “Picture..” 

Suddenly he was pulling himself away from the glass and swimming away quickly.  He was gone. 

Hoseok was now standing up and holding his head that had a slight bump on it.  

“What the hell is going on” he groaned.  

You filled him in on everything that had occurred. 

“For real?” he gasped out. “But, they won’t let us leave...What are we going to do? We will definitely run out of breathable air if we don't recharge at the surface in about a day and a half…” he said looking at some of the gauges on the control panel. 

You sighed. “Yeah, we need to figure out how to convince them to let us leave.  Is there any contact to Triton available right now?” you asked. 

Hoseok tried the radio then shook his head.  

A knocking noise against the glass made you jump.  You turned to see the merman was back, his mouth turned up in a smile.  

“Hello” he spoke 

“Welcome back” you chuckled, growing quite fond of his cute smile. 

“Make deal.”

“You want to make a deal? To let us leave?” 

“Yes.  Deal.” he nodded.   

“Okay…” you looked to Namjoon who shrugged “What’s the deal?” 

“We keep warrior. For learn” the merman spoke

You shake your head “You can’t keep him...He’ll die soon if you don’t let him come with us.  He can’t breathe down here, there isn’t enough air in his tank to last him.  You won't be able to learn much from him dead.”  You informed him. 

The merman looked upset.  “No deal?” he seemed to be pouting, which you shouldn’t be finding so cute considering it seemed this was the creature that held your fate in his hands currently. 

“I make new deal.  Must ask first.” he then turned and swam away like he did before. 

“I say just leave the asshole.” Namjoon laughed. 

“This isn’t funny!” Hoseok snapped.  “But, yeah, why didn’t we just leave him” 

“First of all, I don’t want that on my conscience for the rest of my life.  And secondly, do you really think we won’t be in huge trouble if we return without him.  He works for the governent” 

“True” Namjoon sighed, “But if it comes to all of us dying...don’t you think that…” 

The merman was now knocking at the glass again, snapping the attention of the four of you back to the window. 

“New deal” The merman looked even more excited.  “We give back.  You take”  

You didn’t quite understand what he was saying, he seemed to notice your confused expression. 

“You take” he repeated pointing to himself. 

“Take you with us?” you gasped.  He wanted to come back to Triton with you?  

“For learn.  Want learn.  You take.  Me learn, you learn.  Deal?” 

“Deal!” you exclaimed instantly, realizing you should probably discuss it with your teammates but the idea of being able to take this merman back to Triton with you, and being able to learn everything about him and his kind seemed even more like a dream come true than anything that had happened so far. 

“Right?” you turned to the rest of your crew

They all shrugged and nodded

“I don’t see why not” Namjoon spoke, but there was a hint of something uneasy in his voice. 

-------------------------------------------------

A few more mer-people swam over to your ship after the merman you’d been speaking with went and told them that the deal was on.  Two of them had Jin in their arms who seemed to be squirming around and resisting until he realized he was being brought back to his ship. 

There was a small metal room in the back of the ship meant for coming and going that drained the water once Jin was inside.  

Hoseok went to grab him and brought him to his room.  Yelling at him for being stupid the whole way there.  

The merman you’d spoken to was now in front of the glass again.  

“Gave back.  You take now?” he pointed to himself. 

“Yes.  But, how are you going to breathe?  We don’t have anything water here for you.” 

He thought for a moment, putting his hand to his chin. 

“One night.  I return” he swam away, and the other mer-people followed. 

-----------------------------------------

 You spent the rest of the night discussing with the rest of your crew how you’d handle bringing the merman back with you to triton.

You’d all settled on keeping it a secret.

You knew Jin would have a hard time not telling his boss’s in the government so you’d brought him out to have a little talk.

He was still quite shaken up from the days events when hoseok dragged him from his room to the main room where you all had gathered.

“The merman is coming with us back home.  I want to learn from him, but I don’t think it’s best if the media knows he’s there.  everyone would want pictures and interviews and it’d all get in the way of our research.  Can you keep it a secret?” You asked Jin 

“And why would I protect any of them? Do you even know what they did to me in there?” He growled

“You did shoot one of their people…” Jungkook spoke hesitantly 

“Well she snuck up on me.  And what was I supposed to do?” Jin scowled down towards the floor.

“Please Jin.  I’m begging you.  You can report it to your supervisors only or whatever after we’ve taken him back here” you begged.  You knew that if it was found out your team had brought a real mermaid back with them the media would swarm.  You also were scared of what the government would ask to be done with him, they could easily take him from your team and give him to a different scientist for who knows what…

“I don’t want to lie about this…” Jin grumbled. 

“We could’ve just left you there with them man.  That was the original deal, and she turned it down.” Namjoon snapped at Jin, narrowing his eyes and clenching his fists at the man’s stubbornness to get on board with your plan. 

Jin sighed and rubbed his temples.  

“Fine.” he whispered “I won’t tell…” 

You hoped that he was telling the truth. 

---------------------------------------

The next morning you were awakened to a tapping on the window.  You had slept in the control room where you had seen the merman before so that you wouldn’t miss his return. 

You lifted your head sleepily and looked to the noise, smiling widely upon seeing that the merman had his face pressed to the glass looking in at you. 

You quickly stood and fumbled around to grab the microphone and turn on the receiving one for the outside. 

“Hey, welcome back!” you chimed excitedly. 

You noticed the merman seemed just as excited as yourself.  His long blue hair floating just as beautifully in the water as you had remembered it.  His skin was shimmering in the light, with that shiny iridescent glow covering his gorgeous caramel skin.  

Your breathing quickened at the sight of him, it was almost like looking at a statue of an ancient god.  You felt slightly unworthy in his presence, yet he looked more excited to see you than anyone ever had in your whole life. 

“I come back.  Go with you now.  Made way to travel with.” he spoke.  And as he said that, a group of four other merpeople swam up carrying a large glass tank that looked plenty big enough for the merman to comfortably fit into. 

“That's perfect!” you clapped your hands together.  “So what you’ll want to do is be in the tank when you get into the room.  The room will drain out the rest of the water, but the water in your tank will stay and we can carry you in” 

He nodded.  You saw an older couple, a merman and merwoman approach him and hugged him tightly.  

“Careful you” The woman said kissing him on the forehead. 

You assumed those must be his parents.  Their family dynamics seemed to be similar to your people.  Those were the types of things you couldn’t wait to learn about, you had so many questions. 

You pressed the button to open the door to the chamber Taehyung would enter from.  He swam into his tank and you watched the merpeople swim it over and place it inside.  

“All good?” you said over the microphone to the outside of the ship. 

“Good.  Ready”  A voice called back to you

You took a deep breath.  Nervously you pressed the button to close the doors and drain the water from the room.  

You then called over the announcement speaker system, realizing you should’ve probably done this first,

“Everyone, I’m gonna need your help carrying him in.  He’s here” 

You made your way to the room, Namjoon had joined up with you and you saw a sleepy Hoseok and Jungkook following close behind.  

“Jin’s not up?” you raised an eyebrow to Namjoon. 

He shrugged and you sighed.  Oh well, the four of you could probably do this on your own.  

You felt your skin tingling with the excitement of what lay behind the door you now stood in front of.  

Your childhood dreams and fantasies within your reach. 

You shakily placed your hand on the door and turned the handle to open it. 

When you entered the room the merman was sitting with his head, arms and shoulders all out of the tank.  His head resting cutely on his hands at the edge of his tank. 

“Hello” he spoke.  His voice sounded a bit different when not distorted by the water.  It was deep and soothing and made you just want to melt on the spot. 

“Hello” you returned. “This is Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok. And I’m y/n” you pointed to them respectively. 

“Taehyung” he pointed to himself.  

“Nice to meet you Taehyung” you approached him holding your hand out to shake his hand.  He looked curiously at you and you realized that was probably not a gesture that he understood. 

“Oh.  Sorry.  It’s what humans do to greet each other.  We shake hands” 

“Shake hands to greet.” He nodded like he was making a mental note of it. 

“So we’re going to carry you out of here now, I’ve made space in my room to put your tank and secure it so it doesn’t slide around the ship when we take off.”  You did now notice that the tank didn’t have a lid, you hoped that the trip back to Triton wouldn’t make the water spill out, you’d have to come up with something for that…

The four of you picked up the tank, noticing that it had handles to carry it, you were extremely thankful for that convenience.  It was quite heavy, about four feet high, and six feet in length.  You wondered if he’d start to miss swimming in the open waters.  You’d have to build a bigger tank for him back at your lab. 

“We make last night” Taehyung proudly tapped the glass on his tank as you carried him. 

“You made this in a night? It’s nice, the handles helped”  You complimented him sweetly.  

So they have the means to make things like this.  And very quickly.  You were going to have to ask more about that. 

Once he was set down and secured in your room, you let out a small chuckle at the way he looked around wide eyed at all of your things. 

Hoseok and Jungkook had decided to go get something to eat.  

“Want me to stay?” Namjoon asked “For safety?” he whispered the last part in your ear.  Not being able to tear his eyes from the sharp teeth showing as Taehyung smiled. 

“He seems gentle, you can go eat.  I want to just take some notes and talk with him for a while” 

Namjoon nodded and left the two of you alone in the room. 

You sat down on your bed, which was only a few feet from where his tank sat.  

He rested his chin on his arms at the top of the glass, looking at you with a cute and curious stare. 

“I have so many questions I don’t even know where to start” you chuckled, feeling slightly shy now that you were alone with him.  

“I have question too.  Many” he laughed lightly, he didn’t seem to be nervous about this at all.  If he was he was doing a good job not showing it. 

Your mind raced through all of your questions, wondering what to ask first as you pulled out a pen and your research notebook.  Writing at the top

‘Taehyung, Mermaid Research Notes’ 

“So, did you know that we existed?” You asked him 

Taehyung thought for a moment.  “Little know.” he answered “See your ships move in sky?  Not know what look like.  Or why ships” 

You wrote down his answer in your notes.  So they could see your ships going from moon to moon.  

“So you go to the surface of the water, you can breath like we do it seems.  Like right now you’re out of the water and seem to be fine?” 

He nodded “Breath is both.  Tail need water or maybe die.  Have question? You say two, not fair, take turn” he winked at you in what almost seemed like a flirtatious gesture, your cheeks grew hot and you wanted to cover your face in embarrassment. 

“Sorry.  We’ll take turns” you smiled nervously at him. 

“Good.  I ask, You say warrior would die under water.  Not breath underwater?” He furrowed his brow as he asked. 

“No, we have to hold our breath if we go underwater, and that can only last for like a minute or two.” 

“Oh.  Interesting” Taehyung’s eyes widened as he nodded again. “I ask again?” he cocked his head to the side. 

You chuckled at his gesture “Yeah, I got two so you should get two” 

“We speak same. You know Why?”  

“Actually I was wondering that too!” You put a hand to your face as you thought “ I really have no idea though.  It seems you speak our language, just in a more…” you didn’t want to offend him so you tried to think of a way to phrase your thoughts. “With less words?” 

“Less words.  Yes. You speak extra words” 

Extra words, you found that an amusing way to put it. 

“Maybe at one point in life, a long time ago our people lived together somehow.” you guessed “I don’t know for sure, but we had heard of you.  It was all supposed to be just a story that you’d tell children, and no one really believed it.  But I actually had hoped it was true, and that’s the main reason that we came to your planet.  I wanted to find out if you were real” you told him. 

“Maybe.” he nodded as he agreed with your guess, yet something strange flickered over his dark eyes.  He suddenly dunked his head under the water and surfaced again.  It seemed random, you wondered if he was just missing the feeling.

“Don’t like dry hair.  Feeling weird” he told you, as if he knew what you were thinking. 

“Oh okay” you nodded.  “Um...so my turn?” you still were feeling shy and awkward around him.  His beauty was enough to make you nervous alone, let alone the fact that he was the embodiment of a life long dream achieved.  You wanted to make every second with him count. 

The door to your room swung open, causing Taehyung to jump slightly and splash a bit in the water. 

“Hey.  Just brought you some food and wanted to check in” Namjoon spoke, handing you one of the protein packs and looking Taehyung over skeptically.  

“Thanks Joon.  We’re doing well.  Just talking” you smiled at him

“Okay, just radio me if you need anything.” his eyes not leaving the merman in the room “Hoseok is going to start the ascent to the surface soon”  he let you know. 

You gave him a quick smile and a wave as he left the room.  You had expected him to be far more excited about all of this, it was his dream as well, yet something seemed to be bothering him. 

“Not like me” Taehyung said after Namjoon had shut the door.  He said it as if it was a fact and not a question. 

“I’m sure that's not true.  He’s wanted to meet your people too.  He might just be nervous” 

You were almost trying to convince yourself that was the case. 

You felt the ship jolt forward a little bit, a small creaking sound rang out as the ship complained from having been still for so long.  Taehyung's water shook slightly in his tank and he looked scared. 

“It’s just the ship moving up to the surface” You told him “Its safe” 

He smiled slightly “Okay. Safe” he nodded “Trust” 

The two of you exchanged questions back and forth the whole way to the surface.  You found out that he was also a scientist, that they seemed to have most of the same careers that your society had.  Doctors, teachers, store owners, construction.  Even one job that was basically a veterinarian, they liked to keep some types of fish and aquatic animals as pets. 

Once you reached the surface of the water and it was time to take back off into space, you had to say goodbye to Taehyung and go sit buckled into your seat.  You had made a makeshift lid, hoping it was enough to keep him safe and his water in the tank.

Right before you put it on, he could see your worried expression and he reached out his hand to you, taking your hand in his own.  He brushed his thumb along your palm, sending a shudder throughout your body. 

“Safe.  Trust” He spoke, his dark eyes sparkling as they met yours.  

-------------------------------------------------

When your shuttle arived back to Triton, your crew was met with cheers and camera crews everywhere.  The large crowd gathered at the station were excited that you had all returned safely, and you were sure they were dying to hear all about it.  

Your team went out to the steps where you could address the crowd.  You told them that your team would be releasing the pictures and notes that you’d taken on your trip within the week.  That seemed to satisfy their hunger for curiosity.  

Really all you could think about though, was getting Taehyung safely into your lab without him being seen. 

You had discussed with Hoseok plans to dock the ship in the back entrance after waving away the crowd, so now it was time to do just that. 

Jin had left to go update his higher ups on what had happened on the trip.  You nervously hoped he’d keep his word about what had really happened down on neptune. 

Hoseok, Namjoon and Jungkook helped you carry Taeyhung’s tank from where the ship was now discreetly docked in the lab.  

You were happy to see that he was already from the landing. 

“Nice see you again y/n” he purred out as he saw you.  Namjoon rolled his eyes and sighed, you still didn’t quite understand what had him so upset about this whole thing. 

Once Taehyung was brought to one of the rooms in the lab that only you and Namjoon had access to you thanked Hoseok and Jungkook and told them they could go. 

“That was a hell of a trip boss” Jungkook grinned at you “These pictures we took really are going to make me the top photographer on all of the moons.”

“Just remember not to publish any of the ones of Taehyung or the other merpeople.  Also the ones I selected to be exclusively for my research papers I will be posting” 

“Right” he nodded giving you a small wave as he left the room.

Hoseok then stepped forward towards you.

“Hey let me know when you need me for the return alright? You have my number” he put a hand on your shoulder.

“Will do, seriously thank you for everything. I couldn’t have done this without you”

“I know” he winked and gave you finger guns as he walked backwards out of the room.

Taehyung had been watching you say your goodbyes silently under water, tiny bubbles ascending to the surface of the tank.  He seemed to be anxious to get your attention back over to him again. 

You gave him a small smile and put your finger up to say ‘just wait one second’

You still had to say goodbye to Namjoon, who stood scowling at Taehyung. 

You realized you needed to have this conversation in private and motioned for Namjoon to join you right outside the door to Taehyung's room.

“So what’s going on with you? I thought you’d be excited that we finally found merpeople? This was our dream remember?” You narrowed your eyes at him, biting on your lower lip.

Namjoon crossed his arms across his broad chest.

“Yeah, this was our dream. Our, dream.  But you seem to want to do this all on your own.” He glared at you 

“On my own?  I’m sorry but you were right there with me? You came on this trip too, I didn’t leave you out of anything” you hissed in a whisper 

“Yeah. Okay.  Well have fun with your new best friend.  And your research papers.  Don’t bother putting my name on them.  If you even planned on it” he growled and stomped away from you.

“Namjoon wait!” You yelled after him. “What the hell” you mutter to yourself shaking your head angrily as you walked back into the room where Taehyung was waiting for you.

He had an expression of confusion laid on his features.

He was poking only the top of his head out of the water, just his eyes peeking above. 

“Sorry about that.  I really don’t know why he thinks-“ you stopped yourself, not wanting to rant about your problems to this man you’d just met. “Never mind” you sighed.

Taehyung cocked his head to the side.  “Okay?” he pointed to you. 

“Yeah I’m okay” you faked a smile. 

“Lie” he shook his head, “Alright, don’t tell.” he seemed to pout slightly. 

“It’s nothing really.  Namjoon is upset, but he’ll get over it” 

Taheyung pulled himself up to rest his arms on the top of the tank.  “Hope.” he nodded slowly “Don’t like you sad” he frowned and reached a hand out to you. 

You purse your lips, debating whether to step into his touch.  Deciding that it couldn’t hurt. 

You reached your hand out to him as you walked forward.  He took your hand gently in both of his and turned it over, brushing fingers lightly over your palm and staring at it inquisitively, his gaze flickering from your hand to your confused face every once in a while.   His hands were cold, and seemed to glitter in the light, they were so beautiful, wet and soft as they touched you.  You shuddered slightly.

After what felt like hours of him doing this he gave you your hand back.  

His eyes were locked on to yours and you awkwardly wiped your hand on your pants.  

“So I still have so much more I want to know about you” You spoke

“Same” he nodded “Many question” 

“I’ll start?” you chuckled as you pulled up a chrome metal chair to the side of his tank, taking out your notebook.  

“So,” you cleared your throat “What are relationships like there?” 

“Relationship?” Taehyung furrowed his brow. 

“Yeah, like do you get married?” 

“Not married” He spoke slowly pointing to himself “But, yes married happens.”

“Oh, okay so you aren’t, but that's a normal thing”

He nodded.  “You?”

You chuckled “No, I’m not, but we do here too” 

He seemed relieved at your answer. 

“Turn?” he pointed to himself.

“Yeah, go ahead”

“How do…” he smirked slightly, his tail flicking some water up in the air that fell right back down into the tank. “How do you, create new people”

You choked on air at his question.  As a scientist you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable talking about these things, but for some reason discussing sex with him seemed more intimate than it should.

“Oh, I-” you shook your head, trying to shake away the embarassement, “Sex is, um.  Men have an…” you wanted to try and say this like a mature professional as best you could “an appendage, their genitalia, and they enter the woman’s, entrance...that fits the man’s appendage inside and releases sperm that combines with an egg to create a baby” you coughed, still feeling uncomfortable and shy. 

He nodded understandingly.  “Us different.  Not enter.  Female release, then male release, combines outside in water to an egg where young grows”

“Oh!” you found that interesting and quickly jotted it down in your notes. 

You talked back and forth a bit more with him explaining further and asking more questions as well. 

“I did have one more question before I turn in for the night…”

Taehyung smiled at you, nodding for you to go ahead.

“You said that you can’t leave the water or you’ll dry up.  Has that happened before?”

Taheyung thought hard for a moment “Only told.  Only a story.  No dry to test theory.  Only water at home.  Wanted to create raft to test theory, no one willing.  Much risk.”  he seemed to be thinking hard on this thought.  “Always wondered…”

You wrote down a few more notes on your paper, then flipped your notebook shut. 

“I think that’ll be it for the night” You smiled at him “I’m going to look into getting you a bigger tank, will you be fine sleeping here for the night?” you asked

“Yes, fine.  Sleep good” he smiled, holding his hand out again to you.  You put your hand into his and he gave you a quick squeeze “Will miss…” he murmured almost inaudibly. 

---------------------------------------

The rest of the night you tossed and turned in the sheets.  Taehyung was on your mind the whole time.  

When you finally drifted off to sleep, the world you were sent to was familiar but not your own. 

You felt yourself falling down slowly through dark water, a small light in the distance was getting closer and closer as you sank.  

You didn’t feel like you were drowning, you felt serene and weightless.  The light was now almost to you, nothing else was visible in the pitch black water, and you were starting to make out the object giving off the warm yellow glow. 

It was a lamp, somehow still lit underwater, and a hand was holding tightly to it. 

Soon you recognized the face that owned that hand.  It was Taehyung.  His tanned skin glowing against 

You smiled and opened your mouth to greet him, when suddenly his face was mere inches from your own. 

His razor sharp teeth were bared and your blood froze.  You felt your entire body start to clench up with fear, a shock running down your spine at the monstrous sight of this man.   

His hand shot out and gripped you around your throat.  He screamed something but for some reason you couldn’t make out the words, maybe it was a different language?

Your eyes shot open and you were sitting straight up in bed, gasping and sweating.  What the hell was that dream about? 

---------------------------------------------

After eating breakfast, showering and getting dressed for the day, you made your way over to your lab.  Excited to see Taehyung again despite the dream still slightly haunting your mind.  

As you opened the door, starting to step into his room, you called out for him in a singsong voice “I’m baaaack” 

Only to drop everything you are holding in your hands in shock.  Your heart seemed to sink all the way to your feet and fall to the floor with your notebook and coffee that now was spilling across the tile on the ground. 

He was...gone.  He just wasn’t there.

No, this isn’t possible! Who got to him? Did Jin lie? Did he tell his supervisors and they came and took him to a different lab so they could steal away your credit and research?

Catching you completely off guard and making you almost jump straight out of your skin, a hand touched your shoulder from behind. 

You almost turned around to punch the attached person in the face, when he spoke. 

“No! Sorry.  Accident scare” 

You knew that voice. 

You whipped yourself around to see that standing behind you was a completely naked Taehyung.  Standing.  Behind you.  On LEGS. 

Your eyes scanned over him, his tail gone and his lower half of his body now matching the humanness of his upper half.  You also took note of the fact that the iridescent glow that usually blanketed over every inch of his skin was also gone.  He looked completely human. 

“W-what…” you stammered out, your eyes flickering up and down his body. 

“Y/n.  Experiment, success!” He clapped his hands together and motioned to himself up and down, as if you weren’t already looking him over obsessively. 

“Tried out of water.  Thought you save if went wrong” he shrugged “Look! Like you now.  Strange.”  he grinned excitedly. 

“Taehyung.  I don’t understand...I thought you were sure you’d die out of the water” 

“Scientist?” he pointed to himself “Never sure without facts.  Want see for self. Much surprise” he chuckled.  You now noticed he was absentmindedly playing with the new body part he had discovered between his legs.  

Your breath caught in your throat and you quickly pulled your eyes away from what he was doing.  Your eyes had lingered a bit too long already.  Enough that you’d realized how impressive his cock was.

“I-I, need to get you some clothes” you muttered, now facing away from him. 

“Oh” he spoke quietly “Yes, you people clothes here” he laughed lightly. 

You hurried out of the room and grabbed a spare lab coat, then went to Namjoon’s locker in the breakroom to find that he thankfully had some spare basketball shorts left there. 

You brought them back to Taehyung and turned your back to him while he dressed. 

“Feel weird” Taehyung muttered.  “Don’t like dry” 

You spun back around to face him.  It wasn’t the most stylish attire but at least he was covered now and you could speak to him without feeling a warmth building between your legs at the mouth watering sight of his naked form. 

“I don’t understand how this happened” you whispered. 

“Same” he took a seat in one of the metal chairs in the room, lifting his legs up and down and kicking them around, rolling his ankles while he stared at his feet.

“Toes?” he asked cocking his head to the side as he wiggled his newfound appengages. 

“Yeah” you giggled “How’d you know what they were called?”

Taehyung stood up and walked over to the desk in the corner of the room where you now saw a bunch of opened books laying out.  One being an anatomy book. 

“Oh, woah you’ve had a long night huh?” 

Taehyung smiled and nodded. 

“I learned much” 

Suddenly he was walking over to you, you felt your breathing break it’s steady pace as he reached his hand out to rest on your shoulder. 

“Haven’t learned enough...explain? Something wrong happening” his expressed was shifting into one of confusion and worry. 

“I-I don’t quite understand what you mean?” you stammered out, hoping that he doesn’t realize how much his closeness was making you nervous.  The way his eyes trailed over you was sinful and you were trying to convince yourself that it wasn’t what you thought it was.  But, his eyes seemed to be hungrily taking you in, and now his hand was sliding down from your shoulder, fingers trailing lightly down your arm as he did.  It slightly tickled and made you shudder, which he definitely noticed.  Yet he still seemed concerned about something. 

Once his hand reached your own he took it and slowly guided you forward.  He placed your hand over his crotch, which you felt harden even more than it most likely already was under your touch.  It was his turn to shudder. 

“Why is this?” he muttered. 

“Um…” you tried to speak but your mind was taken over by the fact that he was holding your hand to his dick currently.  You didn’t want to feel as turned on as you did, you wanted to keep this professional.  But you felt yourself growing warm and wet between your legs. 

“It's what happens when men are turned on” you murmured 

“What turned on?” he was still confused. 

“It’s nothing bad.  It means…” you wanted to find the right words to communicate this.  He seemed to understand most things you said even if he didn’t know the words, why couldn’t he get this one, you groaned silently in your mind. 

“It means you want to mate?” you tried. 

“Mate?” He suddenly smiled, “Ah yes.  Understand now.  Yes want that.” he nodded, your heart skipping a beat as his lustful gaze was now admitted to be something real and not an idea you were creating just to flatter yourself.  

“Taehyung you know we shouldn’t right? We are just here to learn-” 

Taehyung cut you off with his other hand bringing a finger to your lips.  He brushed over your bottom lip delicately, his eyes staring into your own so intensely that you swore he was staring into your soul.  

“Want to learn human body, help?” his voice was innocent but his expression and body language was anything but.  He was still holding your hand to his clothed cock over Namjoon’s basketball shorts and he was starting to move your hand slightly up and down his shaft that you could feel so distinctly through the loose fabric. 

“Mmmm” he moaned out lowly, his deep voice so erotic and inticing. 

“For learning?” you whispered, hesitantly moving your face towards his. 

He broke into a boxy smile that made you want to melt. 

“Show me” he spoke softly, his hand now tugging at the button on your jeans.

He pressed his forehead against your own, biting down on his lower lip. 

 “Please” he breathed out. 

At this point you were too far gone to think clearly.  He was begging, and he was too tempting to deny.  

You nodded your head slightly, closing your eyes as you felt him now undoing your button and unzipping your jeans.  So slowly it was almost as if he was teasing you. 

He dropped to his knees as he pulled down your pants and panties all in one swift motion.  His tongue darted out and he wet his lips quickly as his eyes widened at the sight of your lower half naked in front of him. 

“Never...Never done...never seen” he muttered, his eyes flicked up to meet yours. 

“I’ll teach you” 

“Please” he groaned, bringing his attention back to your pussy that was eye level with him. 

His forefinger trailed across your outer folds ever so lightly.  You felt a chill of pleasure and want run over your skin, giving you goosebumps all over. 

“Show me” he repeated his request from earlier. 

You decided to step back from him to go lay on the desk, so you could spread your legs and give him a better view.  He pouted until he realized what you were doing.  Now he was walking towards you and dropping to his knees again, returning to face your dripping center at eye level. 

“Wow” he whispered, he was so close that you could feel his breath against you.  

“You...can touch me.  Explore around I guess” you chuckled nervously, not sure if you were excited or scared to be in this position with him.  You felt like if any of your crew found out what you were doing they’d be upset, especially Namjoon.  

You closed your eyes tightly, breathing quickly anticipating the likely touch that was soon to come. 

Taehyung stared into your center in awe, he didn’t quite know why he was so attracted to this part of you that he’d never seen on anyone before.  Mermaids didn’t actually have sex.  It wasn’t about pleasure or getting off, it was purely for creating children, you never even had to touch the other during the act.  It wasn’t intimate, it wasn’t this…

The urges that he was having were so foriegn to him, he knew it was coming from the new body part he’d found dangling between his legs that seemed to somehow be growing even harder as he stared at your nakedness laid out in front of him. 

You were becoming wet, Taehyung liked the wet, it was so inviting, he wanted to feel it on his fingers.  

You shuddered as he started to feel around, brushing against your clit every so often, never entering you.  

You realized he might not understand that he could.  One of your hands crept down to join his, he almost jumped back in surprise, he had been so entranced in touching you he’d almost forgotten anything else in the world existed.  When your hand reached down he snapped back to reality a bit.  You started to press a finger into your dripping hole. Moaning as you brought the finger in and out.  Taehyung felt his cock twitch at the sound of your pleasure, he realized he wanted to do whatever he could to be the one making you create those beautiful noises. He didn’t understand why, but the thought of pleasuring you made him more excited than he’d ever been in his life. 

“You can do this to me” you told him, “Try” 

Taehyung nodded and brought his finger to replace yours that had just retracted itself from your hole.  

Without even realizing why he did this, his other hand snapped up and grabbed your wrist before you could pull your hand away.  He brought his lips to the finger you’d had inside of you and pulled it into his mouth, carefully avoiding touching you to his sharp teeth, sucking and licking, growling in satisfaction at how unexpectedly pleasent the taste was.  

“Wow” he whispered as he released your hand from his grip. 

He then returned his focus to his other hand. 

“Another?” he asked as he started to tease your entrance with two fingers. 

“Yes.  I can probably only take two though” you moaned, 

Taehyung chuckled, and decided he was going to try a third after he played around with two fingers.  The scientist in him needed to test that theory that you could only take two.  

The louder your moans got, the more Taehyung felt this urge for you to be touching him back.  When your hand was on him over his clothes earlier it was all he could think about, and he needed you to touch him again.  

He started to push into you with a third finger.  

“Fuck, Taehyung,  Thats too” you gasped out in high pitched moans. 

Taehyung smirked as he continued, “Shh, Will be okay” he muttered.  You were so tight but adjusting to him.  He started to move his fingers around, and then remembered that you had shuddered and moaned every time that he had brushed against the nub that rested right above where his fingers were going in and out of you.  And the way you had tasted when he licked your wetness off of your fingers still lingered on his tongue, he needed another taste,  Maybe he should be giving some attention there too…

He brought his mouth to your clit and started to give small licks, you responded more than he’d anticipated, bucking your hips up into his mouth, it makes Taehyung swell with pride that he’d figured out how to make you feel even better.  

“Taehyung I’m g-gonna cum soon, I’m getting so close” you gasped out. 

Suddenly his head snapped away from you, you whimpered at the loss of him. 

“Cum?” he looked up at you in confusion. 

“Um yeah, like have an orgasm” You explained. 

“Hmmm” he hadn’t fully realized he was working towards a finish here, he had just been having fun.  But now that he knew there was an end purpose to his actions it only motivated him to work harder.  His tongue dove back into you, flicking and licking faster than before.  He had to hold your squirming hips down with his free hand so he could keep his pace.

“Fuck!” you screamed out loudly “Taehyung don't stop! I’m cumming” 

Taehyung smiled widely against you as he continued his surprisingly skilled tongue work, lapping up every bit of the wetness that you were giving to him as you came.  He felt the walls around his fingers pulsing and tightening around him as you rode out your high.  

He didn’t stop for a moment after you had came.  You were giggling as you tried to wiggle away from him.  

“Ah, Taehyung, Ahh, Stop.  It’s too sensitive now!” you squealed. 

He chuckled and continued for a few seconds more before pulling himself away from you.  Wiping your juices from the corner of his mouth. 

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.” You put an arm over your forehead, your chest heaving up and down heavily.  “Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” 

Taehyung felt so proud of himself.  “No never...Really good?” 

“So good” you smiled at him, sitting up now.  “Want me to return the favor?” 

Taehyung nodded slowly, “Meaning...Touch me?” he asked, his hand now palming his hard and aching cock over his short. 

“Yes, I want to touch you” you smiled sliding yourself off the table and getting down on your knees in front of him.  He cocked an eyebrow up, curious at what you are doing now.  Your fingers hooked around the hem of the shorts and pulled them down to his ankles.  His cock sprung free now, so hard and needy, a small bead of precum already forming on his tip.  You licked your lips and brought a hand up to grip the base of his cock. 

“Oh” he whimpered as he threw his head back and shut his eyes tightly.  

You then brought your lips to wrap around him, not fully taking him in, but enough that he could now feel your tongue laying flat against the underside of his tip.  His hand reflexively snapped to the back of your head, wanting to push himself into you all the way, but not wanting to hurt you.  You started to bob your head as your lips moved up and down his shaft.  Taehyung's other hand now held the back of your head as well, gently moving with you as you moved on him. 

Your tongue flicked over him in a way that felt like heaven, and he, without meaning to jerked his hips forward, causing you to take him in all the way.  You quickly pulled away from him coughing and giggling. 

“Sorry” Taehyung gasped, “Hurt?” he felt awful for his unintentional action that seemed to have caused you discomfort.  Here you were making him feel so good and he was getting overly greedy. 

“No, you’re fine.  I get it” you chuckled “Let me adjust and you can do that more if you want” 

Taehyung’s eyes widened dramatically as you  now started to take him in fully, your lips now all the way at the base of his cock, your nose brushing against his abdomen. 

“Do your thing now,  I’ll tap your thigh hard three times if it’s too much for me okay? Then you have to stop, but unless I do that you can use my mouth however you want” you smirked up at him.  

Taehyung nodded, and for a brief second a thought floated through the front of his mind.  He was in love…

Taehyung’s hands returned to the back of your head, he started out slowly, moving his hips forward into your mouth as he gripped you tightly, pushing himself into your mouth all the way, and back out again.  A loud grunt that surprised even him escaped his lips as he sped up.  

Your eyes were watering as you choked a bit around him, but you didn’t want it to stop, you wanted him to cum.  This beautiful godlike man was using your mouth so perfectly. 

Taehyung felt himself tightening as the pleasure was building, was this his orgasm?  He was slightly nervous for the feeling, when you came it seemed to be quite an intense thing.  He didn’t quite know what to expect but if it felt anything like what he did right now he didn’t want to stop chasing it. 

Suddenly you hummed around him, a low moan that sent vibrations through his cock.  The feeling was overwhelmingly pleasurable.  It was happening.  

“Cumming” he whispered, his eyes rolling back as he shakily fucked himself into your mouth.  The sensation that flooded over him as he poured his hot cum into your mouth couldn’t even be compared to anything he’d ever felt in his  life.  His cock twitched wildy inside your mouth and you moaned around him a few more times, swallowing every drop that he gave you. 

He pulled away once it became too sensitive for him to continue. 

It was your turn to wipe the corners of your mouth.  

Taehyung cocked his head to the side as he stared down at you with a fucked outlook.  

“Good.” he whispered through deep breaths, extending out his hand and brushing a thumb over your cheek and then your lower lip.  You gently grabbed his wrist and kissed the palm of his hand. 

“Very good” 

---------------------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks you and Taehyung continued to learn from each other, in every way possible.  Learning about each other's societies and cultures.  And continuing extensive first hand anatomy lessons.  

Taehyung had been falling more and more in love with you.  

Now that he had legs you were able to take him out into the towns, showing him all of your favorite spots and places to go.  

Everytime you grabbed his hand and pulled him over to something that excites you, that warm feeling of love and joy filled him up to the point that he felt he might explode. 

Your happiness was irresistible, all of you was irresistible to him. 

You were feeling similar, yet that dream you had weeks ago hasn't stopped appearing.  Almost every night you dreamed of Taehyung’s hand around your throat as he dragged you down into the dark water, the dream had actually continued even longer than the first time.  In the most recent dream everything was the same, expect that you could feel the water filling your lungs, you could feel yourself drowning.  You woke up choking and grabbing at your throat.  You hated yourself for somehow having this subconscious fear of Taehyung due to these dreams.  Yet you’d still flinch away from in the morning’s where the dream had visited you during the night.  You’d shudder slightly when you caught a glimpse of his teeth.  

Namjoon had avoided you ever since your fight.  He had turned in a resignation notice and that was the last you’d heard of him.  It hurt that he felt like you were trying to steal all of the credit, you really weren’t.  You would’ve put his name right next to yours on every research paper.  You had cried when you saw Namjoon’s notice that he was leaving,  Taehyung held you and kissed you on the cheek, telling you everything would be okay.  You did feel some comfort in that, you’d lost your best friend...but gained a new one. 

Then many things happened.  All too fast and none of them good.  About a week ago your office was broken into and you found all of your research had been stolen.  You hated that you suspected Namjoon, but who else could it have been.  Who else had access? 

You suspected that he was going to publish the papers with just his name on them, same as he thought you were going to do to him.  

You had tried calling him only to find that your number had been blocked.  

--------

You and Taehyung were cuddling in your bed, enjoying a day off from work and just hanging around your house. 

Your head was on his chest and your arms wrapped tightly around him.  You felt him sigh heavily.  

“Hey what's wrong” you wondered.

He simply sighed again.  

“Tell me or I’ll tickle you” you chuckled. 

Taehyung avoided meeting your eyes as he spoke, a small frown on his lips.  “Miss home” 

“Oh” you frowned

“Love here with you.  But, Miss home.  Miss water.” he sighed again. 

You didn’t know what to say, and simply nuzzled your head against him.  He brought an arm around your shoulders pulling you in tightly and kissing you on the top of your head. 

Suddenly your phone was beeping wildey.  You groaned and rolled over to your nightstand table picking it up. 

Text from Jungkook: Call me. 

Text from Jungkook: Y/n????

Test from Jungkook: Y/N CALL NOW

You were completely confused at what might be so urgent.  You clicked the button to return his many calls that he’d also tried. 

“Y/n oh my god” Jungkook was frantically gasping.

“What the hell Kook are you okay?” 

“Have you seen the news?” 

Your body froze and you got extremely nervous.  What news? What could possibly have happened. 

“Y/n everyone been lying to us.  Jin lied to us, The government lied to us.  Taehyung has been lying to you” Jungkook was shakily gasping out. 

You spun around to Taehyung who was glaring at your phone, he seemed to have overheard that last part and his jaw was clenched tightly.  

“W-what do you mean?” You stammered.  

“Y/n, Off phone now.” Taehyung growled. “Please” 

Your eyes widened at how aggressive Taehyung seemed to be getting.  

“Jungkook just tell me what happened!” 

Taehyung lunged forward and grabbed your phone out of your hand, breaking it in half with ease and tossing it across the room. 

“No.” he spoke with a grim quietness. 

You scrambled out of bed running to the other side of the room away from Taehyung, your heart beating fast and your stomach filling with a sickening feeling. 

“Taehyung what the hell!” you yelled “What did Jungkook mean?” 

Taehyung was shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. 

“Y/n.  Not what it seems.  Please.  Didn’t want wrong idea.  Please” he was starting to tear up.  “Hear from me not from him” his voice shook as he spoke. 

“Hear what from you!” you spoke through gritted teeth. 

“y/n…” he whispered, 

Suddenly there was a loud crash, and you heard the door to your house being opened and footsteps running towards your room.  The door flung open wide and a frantic Namjoon stood in the entrance now. 

“Y/n! Thank god you’re okay.  I thought maybe he’d already taken you to the ship.” he was gasping. 

“What the actual fuck is happening?” you screamed.  

Taehyung was now standing and walking towards Namjoon, his body shaking with rage. 

“Step back!” Namjoon screamed holding an arm out to Taehyung, your stomach dropped when you saw what was clutched in his hand.  A gun, just like the one that Jin had on the ship. 

Taehyung snarled and hissed animalistically at Namjoon, but backed up a few steps.  His eyes flicking over to you. 

“Y/n please.  Love you y/n.  Promise” Taehyung was whimpering.  “Trust.” 

“We have to go y/n” Namjoon spoke urgently pulling on your arm, still holding the gun out in warning at Taehyung.  

You didn’t want to leave him though, you wanted to hear Taehyung explain himself.  You wanted him to make this awful sinking feeling go away.  You needed the man you loved…

Yet Namjoon was pulling you away from him and out of the house, then into his car.  Speeding away from your house,  you could see Taehyung running out of your home, his gaze following the car as you drove away, your eyes meeting.  You could see him screaming something out at you.

The sight outside was shocking, you now realize why Jungkook was asking you if you’d seen the news. 

The sky was scattered with ships that looked so familiar...they all looked identical to your one of a kind shuttle you’d taken to Neptune! 

“Namjoon, what is happening?” 

Namjoon didn’t tear his eyes away from the road, but he answered you in a very serious tone. 

“Taehyung. This whole time he’s been playing you.  His people wanted the plans on how you’d built the ship they’d seen and that's why they sent him with us.  I’m assuming, once he’d tested out his theory that he could become just like us out of water he radioed that down to all of them too.  Now they are here.  And they aren’t being friendly.” 

Your jaw dropped, you didn’t understand.  Taehyung had been stealing your plans for the ship the whole time? And how did Namjoon know all of this? Was it Taehyung that had broken into your lab?

“And Taehyung isn’t the only one that’s been playing you.  Our own fucking government was.  They knew that they existed.  It was never a question.  They just hid it from the rest of society.  It turns out each of our ruling powers had a similar idea.  Neptune has been wanting to colonize on our moons, take them over.  And our government wanted you to go down there and scope it out because they were thinking the same thing.  Thats why Jin was there.  And that's probably why he left the ship right away when we had arrived at their city.  That's how my suspicions started, why would the government send a man with a gun like that unless they already had an idea.  And the way Taehyung was so willing to be handed over and didn’t even seem to be worried.  I just couldn’t get it off my mind that something was up.”  He shook his head. 

“B-but...Taehyung loves me” you stuttered

“Y/n I’m sorry, but he doesn’t love you.  Hes been faking everything just to steal your research. They are literally here to wipe us all out and we need to get the fuck off of this planet before that happens” His hands shook on the steering wheel. 

“I can’t...I don’t want to leave him.  He may not love me.  But...I love him” You started to sob uncontrollably. 

“You’ll get over it” Namjoon scoffed, pulling into the hanger where your ship that you had taken to Neptune still sat. 

“I got Hoseok and Jungkook here since they are familiar with this ship, and I made the government promise to get our families on the evacuation ships”

This was all happening so fast.  Did Triton really not stand a chance against Taehyung’s people?  Your mind flashed to the dream you’d been having and you felt that you might throw up.  Your mind had been trying to tell you something was off this whole time.  You were too infatuated with the hypnotizingly handsome merman you’d now fallen in love with to see the truth, you’d fed him enough information to destroy your entire civilization. 

You quickly boarded your ship.  Hoseok and Jungkook were already inside as Namjoon had mentioned.  

You sat in silence, still in shock over everything that was happening as the ship took off. 

“So where are we going” you muttered, turning to Namjoon. 

“I know this sounds bad, but we are actually going down to Neptune...It’s big enough that we can hide out in this ship for now until the president issues out a notice that our people have found another planet or place to live... all the ships going out are scattering.” He sighed

“I-I’m so sorry Namjoon.  Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you thought something was up.  I could’ve stopped telling him things.  Been more careful around him” you frowned “Not fallen in love with him” you spoke in a whisper. 

“I’m sorry y/n.  It wasn’t the right call.  I just felt like it was safer if I didn’t say anything.  But I was wrong” he shook his head.  

In a few days your ship was nearing Neptune,  the four of you had mostly slept the entire trip, trying to  not look out and back on your moons.  You’d caught a glimpse of what was happening and you couldn’t help but scream out as you saw the once gray surface of your home lit up red with explosions and flames.  You hoped and prayed that your family and everyone else who had lived there had been fast enough to the evacuation ships.

“Landing! Get buckled” Hoseok yelled out over the intercom.  You did as you were told shakily buckling yourself into your seat. 

Once you hit the water, you just stayed still for a while. You all did.  Probably sharing the same silent thought.  What now?

Your questions were answered when suddenly a door that led to a storage room creaked open. 

“Put your fucking hands in the air and don’t come any closer!” Namjoon shouted out.  His gun he had brought with him now raised for a second time. 

Your breath caught in your throat.  And you knew you shouldn’t feel any happiness at the sight of this stow away.  But you couldn’t help it.  

“Tae-Taehyung” you whimpered.  

Taehyung looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his blue hair messy and bags under his eyes.  

“Please.  Want explain” He choked out, stepping forward towards you. 

“I said don’t move!” Namjoon boomed narrowing in on Taehyung with his gun.

“No! Please!” you ran directly in front of the gun with your hands out. 

Namjoon let out a frustrated growl “Y/n…” 

“I want to hear what he has to say…” you cried. 

The room fell silent, and all eyes locked on to Taehyung.  Namjoon nodded reluctantly for Taehyung to explain himself, lowering his gun, but staying on alert. 

“Your people.  Government.  The date was set.  Destroy date.  I Hacked files and saw.  You came and took pictures.  The last pictures of my people.  Government wanted kill us all.  Date was set” he muttered looking down at the floor. “I wanted...save my people….I wanted also save you” he looked to you with sad eyes “Wouldn’t have let you hurt.  Would’ve got you away!” 

You wanted to believe him so badly.  You wanted to hug him and kiss him, and share more cuddles on your bed at home like you had gotten so used to.  But now you had no home, and it was because of him.  Yet, if what he said was true, his people were only returning the favor in advance for what was about to happen on their planet.  

“Y/n.  Something about four…” He pointed to you, then to Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook, “You dream of water all your life.  Want to see Neptune.  Want to explore.” Taehyung turned to Jungkook “Pictures of Neptune so beautiful. And You” he pointed to Hoseok, “Knew the water well, fly ship in water, no one has ever done yes?” 

Hoseok nodded, none of you understanding where he was going with this. Taehyung turned to Namjoon. 

“Why Neptune?  Why here now?  Whole galaxy.  Yet here.” he asked as if he already knew the answer.  Then Taehyung turned to you.  

“Trust?” he muttered, holding out his arms wide.  

You had no idea why, but you did trust him.  His dark eyes had done nothing but lie to you, yet all you wanted to do was keep believing in them. 

You nodded and ran to his arms.  He embraced you in a giant bear hug, twirling you around. 

You smiled as he kissed you on your head. 

“Go water now” He whispered in your ear. 

“You’re leaving?” 

“No.  Two” he pointed to you and then to him. 

“I can’t, remember, we can’t breath under water” 

“Theory.” he stated. 

“Fact?” you raised an eyebrow.  “Humans die  underwater if they don’t get enough air.” 

Taehyung groaned  “Trust,” he grumbled. 

Despite the rest of your crew pleading for you to stop, you followed Taehyung out a hatch that led to the roof of the ship.  You now stood on top, sunlight shining down on Taehyung’s glowing skin.  He grinned at you as the two of you looked over the vast un ending water laid out in front of you. 

“Jump?” Taehyung asked, holding out his hand to you. 

You sighed, feeling slightly uneasy about whatever this was.  But, still, you put your hand in his and let him hold on tight to you. 

“Trust…” you muttered under your breath, taking a deep breath in as the two of you did a running jump off of the top of your ship and into the water. 

Taehyung instantly changed back into his iridescent mermaid form, his tail flowing elegantly in the water.  You pointed for him to swim with you back up to the surface, you already felt yourself craving a breath. 

He smirked and shook his head.  You did not like where this was going. 

Instantly after you had a thought of swimming back to the surface even though he’d said no, he was holding you tightly, and dragging you down, down, down. 

Everything was so dark, and your lungs felt like they might explode.  Your dream came into your mind again.  Though this time his hands weren’t on your throat they were holding you around your waist, holding you under.  You beat him with your fists hoping to free yourself from him.  But you knew, even if you were to be released, he’d dragged you too far down for you to make it up in time. 

This was it.  

It was over.  

Your fight or flight instinct failing, as there was no way to save yourself anymore.  You gave up.  

Taehyung pulled back from you as you started to go dizzy and limp.  He spoke something you couldn’t hear...as if it were another language...Like in your dream.  

He planted a soft kiss on your lips.  Far too loving and delicate for someone that was murdering you.  

Yet somehow, you were glad.  

You had loved him so much.  

You were only sad that now you’d never see him again. 

As everything faded away and your eyes closed, you felt your body try to take in a breath.  Only to have your lungs fill with water.  

Then complete darkness, complete nothingness. 

-------------------------------------------------

Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook ran to the top of the ship.  Looking down into the water. 

“She hasn’t come back up yet...it’s been 10 minutes” Jungkook cried out. 

Namjoon shook his head, tears burning his eyes as he clenched his fists. 

“I shouldn’t have let her go with him.  I can’t believe I let him…” his voice cracked. 

Suddenly the water broke.  A wet mess of blue hair was popping up from the water. 

Taehyung….

As soon as he was within earshot Namjoon screamed out. 

“Where is she!?” 

“Come see” Taehyung grinned with a sing song voice. “Take you to her...Follow?” he said cutely. 

“Fuck.” Hoseok whispered.  “This is bad.  She's not with him.  He killed her” he growled. 

Jungkook shook his head “No, no NO! This can’t be happening. Y/n…” he cried. 

Namjoon glared down at the man who was at the edge of the ship now, smiling up at the three of them, his blue tail peaking out ever so slightly from the water. 

“Why shouldn’t I just shoot you right now” he  pulled the gun up and aimed it directly to the forehead of the blue haired merman who seemed unphased by the threat. 

“Want see her yes?” he asked cheerfully.  “Trust” he smiled mischievously, motioning for Namjoon to come into the water with him.  Namjoon was sure it was a lie, it was a trick.  But, he even if it was in death, he wanted to see y/n again. 

“I’m sorry guys.” Namjoon whispered, tossing the gun aside on the top of the ship and diving down into the water next to the grinning merman.  

-----------------------------------

Your eyes fluttered open, there was a weird feeling of weightlessness around you.  Everything surrounding you was colorful,  you definitely weren’t back on Triton.  Which means there's no way all of this had just been a dream.  

You were laying on a stone bed in an odd room, the walls were decorated with shimmering shells and glass. 

In your confusion you went to stand up and go investigate your surroundings.  Yet something stopped you. 

You couldn’t move your feet.  

Well, something moved.  But it wasn’t feet.  You looked down and screamed out loudly. 

Where legs used to be was now a glittering silver scaled tail, resembling the one that Taehyung had, only differing in color. 

At your screams Taehyung quickly swam into the room. 

“Y/n.  Awake!” his eyes widened. 

You jumped and backed away from him, closer to the wall. 

“Taehyung what the fuck is happening.  I-I thought…” you thought he had killed you.  It was the last thing that you can remember. 

“Never.” he shook his head. “Y/n.  Never hurt you” he held out his hand to you.  “Learn? Swim?” 

You nervously swam towards him, it wasn’t elegant and graceful like how he always swam, but you got to him. 

He pulled you into a loving embrace, petting the top of your head as he held you to his soft and warm chest. 

“y/n is awake?” A voice rang out.  

You broke yourself away from Taehyung's arms to find where that familiar voice was coming from.  

Namjoon swam over to you.  Like you, he was missing legs, and his were replaced by a long green tail.  

“This is crazy isn’t it?” his eyes widened.  “I still can’t quite believe it.  But I’m loving it” he swam up and did a backwards flip.  “It’s kinda like flying.  Hoseok And Jungkook are somewhere around here ” he looked around searching for your other companions.

Taehyung chuckled putting an arm around your shoulders. 

“What is going on here?” 

Namjoon swam to face you and Taehyung. 

“Y/n.  The reason Mermaids speak our language.  The reason both our people knew about each other” he paused collecting his excitement.  “They all just explained this to me, so Taehyung, let me know if I’m leaving anything out.  Everyone up on the moons was originally from here on Neptune.  A long long time ago, the mer people learned that they could walk on dry land, but there was no dry land, so they set out to see if there was any where that they could.  They had made it to the moons but a cruel leader at the time destroyed all of the ships and all records of how to get back home.  The knowledge of the merpeople was passed down through stories, until a journal was found not too long ago of a scientist that had built the ships that could go back and forth between the worlds. It was turned into the government and that’s when they started plotting to wipe them out, and figure out a way to colonize.   I had no idea but It was actually one of the books that were given to me by the government for research help while I was building the ship.  They were going to use us and our research to kill everyone here” he finally stopped for a moment after his long speech ���did I get everything?” He turned to Taehyung, who nodded.

“Not all moon people can turn back.  But, More than realize though.  Can tell” he pointed to himself “always drawn to water.  Always need learn, explore, color, need more…” he informed you.

So he knew,  he knew the whole time what all of you were.  

“And we can stay here with you?” You whispered, it all still felt like a dream.

Taehyung smiles and kissed your cheek. 

“Yes” he whispered “please stay” 

[hangukincharms]

Drawn to You

Word Count: 5147 Genre: Fluff, Fan x Idol Interaction Summary: You are an art student drafting a portrait of Wonho at a well-known café. Cross-Posted: AO3 as xKrypton_Bliss

E V E N I N G // A Seoul Café Sitting in a well-known café, you scroll through photos of Wonho on your phone to study his facial expressions and his exact anatomy. Your foot shakes idly now as you have gone past the blushing-in-embarrassment phase to more focused on seeing how the jawline is shaped, the turn of the tip of his nose, where his cheekbones land, and the subtle upturned corners of his mouth. With a nicely weighted and balanced mechanical pencil in hand, you begin to lay down the basic foundations for the three-quarter angle of his head, hoping to capture his essence truly. You have come so far now as an art student, and this was your last art project for university right before you graduate. You have already been taking commissions here and there, but only so few due to your overwhelming schedule with balancing your part-time job, school, and some sort of semblance of this thing called social life. After some time had passed, you managed to get a base sketch down along with some shading and details. It is still a little rough, but it has gotten more refined. A stroke of a loose hair here, maybe a shade there. No, it does not look right. You erase with a bit of frustration. You do not realize that the café has emptied quite a bit and it is darkening a little outside. "Your drawing is wonderful." A woman's voice startled you out of concentration. You snap your head up and see a short older woman carrying a tray with used plates and cups. She smiles sweetly, which seemed a bit familiar in some way to you. "Oh, uh, thank you!" you stammered, feeling embarrassed someone has actually seen your drawing before it was done, and it was a K-pop idol no less. Your cheeks heat up. "It's still far from being done…" You tuck your hair behind your ear out of nerves and pick up your hot chocolate to sip on. "I think it's wonderful," she repeated. "You did a great job capturing my son's personality." You choke on your drink and cough. "Y-your…" "Yes," she smiles proudly, her eyes becoming crescents. "Hoseoki is my son." Your eyes widen in disbelief. That embarrassment that finally ebbed away came back in full force. Now you have to figure out how to explain why out of all people, you decided to draw her son for the final project. You need to figure out why you could have not chosen someone else for this project. Anyone else at all! She sets the tray down on the table next to you. You look around and see maybe one or two people left in the café. You really did not realize how late it was. She sits down across from you. "What made you decide to draw him, dear?" she asks softly. "What do you like about him?" That was a question you dreaded to hear followed by another question you really did not expect. You take a deep breath and explain that the drawing was for a school project that focused on portraits but with a twist of concepts and imaginations. You told her idea of a light and dark concept. Everything has to be hand done and colored for it to be accepted. Right now, you are just going through the first stages of rough drafts. "That sounds very interesting!" she says with intrigue. "But — " she smiles again and leans in a little closer to you. " — you haven't told me why you like him." You were hoping you explained in detail too much so she would forget that question. Your cheeks feel warm as you bring the sketchbook close to you. "Uh, I-I — " A phone rings. Not your ringtone though. She looks down at her apron and finds her smartphone and picks up. "I am so sorry, excuse me — hello?" You breathe a sigh of relief. Many thoughts race through your mind. I just met Wonho's mom. I thought her café closed. Is this even her café? Is she working at a different café? Why did I decide the one time I draw someone outside my apartment, it had to be related to someone who works here! You shake your head back into reality so you did not want to take any more precious time away from his mother who has so kindly sat down with you and chat, which you totally did not expect. "Okay, I will see you soon." She hangs up and puts the phone back into the pocket of her apron. "He's on his way!" "Huh?" you hum in surprise. "I mean — Forgive me — I — who is on his way?" "My son. He is coming by to visit." Now is your chance for escape from even more embarrassment. "Ahh, okay, well…" you begin to collect your belongings. "I don't want to be rude while you wait for your son to arrive — " "Oh, please! Stay! I insist!" She gives you a look that only Asian mothers do that I wish I could describe. "You won't be bothering us if that is what you're afraid of. I'm always happy to meet any Monbebe and he is too." Your eyes widen by each word landing in your ear. "A-a-are you sure?" "Yes! Now sit down!" she politely urges. You did not realize you had gotten up from your seat in your rush to leave. You feel so rude to deny her, so you obey and bow to her in apology. Since you know she would not let up, you begin to explain the qualities of Wonho as you have seen him in variety shows and Vlive: charismatic, selfless, cute, cares very much about other people, making sure no one is left behind, in tune with his emotions… the list was endless. There was so much to list that it felt like you lost track of time. You really wanted to let his mother know how at least one fan of his feels about him so she could feel proud. For a little while now, you felt this strange sensation that you have been brushing off that someone was nearby you. Now that you have begun to run out of words, the feeling has become stronger. You cautiously eye to the side and slowly turn your head to see a plain grey sweater at your eye level. You look up hesitantly and see an all too familiar face of your bias, beaming down at you —the Wonho himself. Your heart beats painfully against your chest as your eyes widen. How long has he been there?! Did he hear everything I said? Do I sound crazy? Oh, God, I hope he didn't stand there for too long. Why did she not say anything? Such a sweet lady, she just smiled the whole time with light in her eyes. Ahhh, I should've listened to that gut a long time ago! "Hi," he greets sweetly. The upturned corners of his mouth have become much more prevalent with his smile while showing off his pearly whites. You draw in a shaky breath. Your hands begin to work on attempting at anything to hide your sketch from his eyes, albeit very clumsily. You fumbled with closing the sketchbook, flipping your phone over so the backside is shown — crap, it has his PC in it! You shove it under your arm. Feeling a shift in movement, you see Wonho move next to you and sits down between you and his mother, phone in hand to check the time and sets it down, watching you curiously with a hint of amusement. “Ah — h-how are you?” you stuttered, with your arm hastily crossed in front of you, resting your chin in your hand. “I’m doing fine,” he replies with a relieved sigh as he sweeps his hair back with his fingers. “I just got done with dance practice for our comeback.” He smiles again. “How are you doing? What's your name?” “I-I-I’m doing okay…” You say as you trail off, making sure to cover your face with your hair, looking down. "My name is Y/N…" "Nice to meet you, Y/Nssi," he beams. "I'm sure you already know who I am, but I am Wonho of Monsta X. I see you have already met my mom." He bows politely. "Yes, nice to meet you too." You return the bow meekly. You look back up at him to smile politely and notice the beads of sweat glistening along his forehead and the side of his face. A stark contrast against his black hair. You are surprised at how casual he was in front of you, a fan, for this. Does he not know he could kill you in an instant if you let him? (Nah, you were already dead before it started.) As you become lost in thought on how this is even reality right now, he and his mother chatted away, probably something about their days recently. You are trying not to be rude and listen into the conversation, but the unexpected starstruck really hit hard with you. Normally, if you are prepared to meet someone who is in some ways well-known or famous, you would not be a bumbling mess. Your own personality shines much more brilliantly and naturally. If this was a fansign, you would have ample time to calm down, even before the meet up — at least, that is what you would know from what you have seen on social media. You did not want to treat Wonho like he was on a pedestal or some kind of god. Geez, but this was far too soon and too unexpected! You come back to reality when you realize a hand was waving in your face. "Are you still there?" Wonho asks. "Hm?" Your eyebrows quirk. Oh, that is right. Wonho is still there in front of you. Wonho is still there in front of you! "Did you want to see my arms?" he asks with a chuckle. "You were staring really hard at them." "Eh?" You spaced out and did not know you were burning a hole through his arms. "A-ah, no! It's okay! I'm okay — " "Oh…" he slumps in his seat, eyes looking down. "So you don't want to see them…" He looks back up to you with puppy eyes. Your breath hitched in your throat as you have realized what you said. "N-no! I don't mean that! I mean, like, you don't have to show them to me. Only if you're comfortable." He laughs. "It's okay. I'm not offended. I knew what you meant." He winks playfully. "It's getting a little hot for me in here anyway, so do you mind if I take off my sweater?" Your nostrils involuntarily flare and your heart quickens. You shove that thought to the dirt. Now that he has been here for a while, you are trying every way to calm down and treat him like a normal human being. "No, I don't mind." He smiles and nods. You look away and out the window to the busy street as you hear the shuffling of fabric next to you, chin resting on your hand. You noticed it was just a little too quiet at the table despite his movement. "Where's your mom?" He chuckles. "You didn't hear?" He must have realized you were spacing out. "She went back to finish up cleaning and busting the tables." "Ah…" "So she was telling me how talented you are at drawing." "Oh…?" "And I kind of want to see it for myself." "Uhh…you sure? I'm not that good…" "Hey." "Yeah?" "Why won't you look at me?" You freeze. Do you dare mention that your face has been beet red and the mere thought of looking at him in the flesh with no sleeves is just going to kill you? "I'm embarrassed," you say, settling in that word alone. You feel him leaning closer to you. "Embarrassed?" You nod your head. "Whether your drawing looks good or not, I'll still love it all the same," he assures softly. "It's okay that you drew me." You close your eyes and sigh. Wanting to get this over with, you slowly turn your body back around and see him in a loosely fitted white tee with his sleeves partially rolled up. His arms are magnificently big, but in their relaxed state, it is not so bad; not as intimidating as you thought. He flashes his pearly whites at you, his eyes disappearing. "Ah… There's a face I want to see." You exhale out of your nose in half amusement and relief and give a wry smile. Sure, you are sitting in front of Wonho right now, but you are becoming more relaxed to his presence, arms and all. You slowly unveil your sketchbook and your phone peeks out, his PC in full glory. "Is that your favorite one of me?" he gestures to the PC. "Well," you begin, tilting your head to the side as you glance at it. "It's the only one I have of you out of all the albums I have." There is still a part of you that finds talking about all of this weird, especially talking about it to him, but you have to go along with it since he asked. "Oh, really? Did Minhyuk take over your photos?" he jokes. "Actually, that's what happened," you laugh. "Almost every album, it's him!" You relax just a little more. "I'll make sure to scold him for you." He winks. Gathering the courage, you shuffle out your sketchbook to be in front of you. "So, you wanted to see my drawings?" You glance up at him… in the eyes for those extra courage points. He nods. You shift the sketchbook over to him and flip through the pages, whether it was a work in progress or completed. You explain details of each concept drawn and what classes they were for. Sometimes, half of the drawings were for fun as you explained different styles and techniques to hone your personal art skill. You sometimes take a peek at him to see his expression and it seemed deep in concentration with some amounts of awe, indicating to you he was sincerely listening and genuinely interested. Your body loosens up even more. In between the flipping of pages, Wonho would ask questions about you, like how did you get into traditional art, what type of music do you listen to when you are working, how do you juggle between university and social, work, and home life. At one point, he even asked about your dating life. "I… don't really have much of one," you state flatly. "Oh, is that so?" His eyebrows raise in surprise. "Yeah, too frivolous. It makes me lose concentration on my work. I don't have as much time for it as other students do. It's quite a time investment. They won't understand why art is such a big passion of mine, so they'll just eventually leave me anyways." You look over to Wonho who seems to be baffled, yet sad. "I'm okay. I'm not hurt by this. I've accepted it." "Not a single soul would understand?" You chuckle. "Not even one." You flip the page. It lands on the partially finished portraiture of Wonho. You completely forgot about it and your body tensed up. You begin to slowly pull the sketchbook away from him. "Ahh, this isn't finished — " He stops you by holding onto the other side of the sketchbook, slowly pulling it back to him. "Oh, no, we're not gonna be shy here." You are still holding onto it, except it is slowly slipping from your fingers. You feel your grip shaking a little. Meanwhile, you look at Wonho, then down to his grip. Not a single struggle. Not wanting to tear your possession, you sigh. "Fine." You suddenly let go and the book jerked into his hand. You turn away again with your chin resting in your hand once more. He chuckles and you feel a gingerly pat on your head. You turn back to him in bewilderment, but he was already looking deep into your drawing. You turn your body slightly towards him to analyze his expression. Does he like it? Does he dislike it? Does he — "My mom was right. You really did capture me so well…" "I… I just, you know, uh…" You scratch the back of your head. "It's really well done. I am kind of jealous of this Wonho because he looks better than me!" You laugh. "What? No! You've always looked amazing, inside out, no matter what!" Whoops. That was too much, you thought. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, that was frank of me." You shrink into yourself out of embarrassment. "Hey, it's okay," he says gently. "I like hearing that from Monbebe, because, well, it gives me strength to keep doing what I'm doing." He pauses and lowers his eyes. "I'll admit, even if I look strong like this — " He tenses his muscles. " — I'm not always strong for myself when I need to be — are you okay?!" "Hm?" You look at him in confusion. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?" "Your nose is bleeding." "Oh, is it?" you say nonchalantly. You take a napkin nearby you and wipe the blood off as best as you can. You ball it up without looking. "Okay, so you were saying that we're your source of strength?" "Does this happen often?" he says, eyebrows furrowed. "Hm?" "The nosebleed." "Oh, no, rarely." He stiffens and reaches forward to console you, a look of worry etched into his face. "We need to take you to the hospital...!" "Oh, no, no, no, it's okay. I'm fine. Don't worry about it." You wave your hand dismissively. You know exactly why your nose was bleeding and it happened when he tensed his wonderfully sculpted muscles right before you. Seriously, how is he so casual about this? "How are you so casual about this?!" Wonho exclaims. "Shh, it's okay!" you whisper. You realize you are closer to him than normal, then noticed that your hand was covering his mouth. Your head tingles in panic as you try not to jerk your hand away, but slowly move it off of him as you blush. "I'm sorry." You look up at him in earnest. "But, please, do not worry about me. Tell me about how Monbebe is your source of strength." "Hoseoki!" You and Wonho both turn to the source of the voice. His mother looked primed and ready to leave with her tote bag hanging on her shoulder. He gets up and goes to her. "Is this bag too heavy for you?" he asks, checking the weight of the bag. "Silly boy, it's fine! Your mom may be old, but she is still strong." He comes back to the table and you were preparing to leave yourself as that seems to be your cue. Your sketchbook, pencils, erasers and sharpener are all back into their spots in your messenger bag. He picks up the sweater and puts it back on. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'll have to take my mom home now," he says. You might have heard a lace of sadness in his voice. "It's alright. It's no worries!" You smile. "You take care of her." "It was nice meeting you and getting to know you, Y/Nssi." "It was nice to meet you too, Wonhossi." A flash of sadness reflected in his eyes. Or did it? Both of you and his mother said your goodbyes and bowing as you all leave the café. You begin walking in the opposite direction from them, going back to the apartments that are close to the café but also the university too. You immediately reminisce on what just happened in the span of an hour, wondering if you had gone to this café more often and actually stayed longer, would you have met Wonho even sooner? You shake your head. It does not matter now. You were just happy to have met him once and that is that. Not to mention the feedback of the portraiture fueled your eagerness to finish the draft sooner, so you could make a real painting out of it. Especially now that you had a glimpse of him and his personality in the flesh, you could add that depth to your piece. //////////////////// 2  M O N T H S  L A T E R // University Arena

You had finished your graduation ceremony at the university and was walking out to find your friends and family in multiple places. You have been pulled by various friends to have photos together, posing for the cameras or taking selfies that were in abundance. It was very crowded due to having to graduate with 2,100 other graduates as well. You eventually find your family and closest friends and they showered you with bouquets, a beautiful flower crown, and balloons. They all hug you tightly with congratulations and love. Your father pats you on the head and smiles with pride. Your mother holds your hand, not wanting to let go of the child she had raised who has now graduated university. Another round of picture taking and selfies begin with those closest to you. "Y/N!" You crane your neck to look for the voice of whomever is calling you, but see no one. "Y/N!" This time, it is closer. You look around again, thinking the voice has given you misdirection. "Y/N." You turn around and see another male graduate you are familiar with, but more as a classmate. "Oh, hey, Yoojin! We've finally made it!" "Yeah, finally!" he exclaims. He clears his throat. "Listen, someone is here looking for you." "Who?" "I don't know, but you'll have to follow me." "Oma, I'll be right back," you call out to your mother. "Child, where are you going — " "I'll be right back!" Your mother huffs but has no choice but to let you go. "Okay, Yoojin, let's go." "Take my wrist so we don't get lost." You oblige. Both of you are bumping into everyone everywhere you go and it does not get any easier when you run into people who were in the same department as you and wanted pictures. The same goes for him as he was in the science department. As both of you push by, the crowd becomes less and less dense, leaving a few people scattered by the edges. Most of them are families with professional photographers. By this time, you were able to let go of Yoojin's wrist and walk normally. "I am so sorry I had to drag you out of there," he pants. "But apparently, this person is really eager to see you." "If they were so eager, I'm surprised they didn't fight the crowd," you chuckle. You follow him until the pavement meets the grass. There was a walkway that was heading up to one of the gazebos around the front. "He's waiting for you there." "You're not coming with me?" you ask, surprised. "What if I get kidnapped?" "I'm… sure he's harmless, but just in case, I'll wait here." A thud was felt in your chest. You look to the structure. You cannot really see anyone, but if you squint hard enough, you might make out a silhouette. However, the gazebo's intricate design makes it difficult to see. You begin walking as Yoojin looks on after you. The crowd's noise becomes fainter with every step. The only things you hear now are the birds chirping and the clacking of your heels. As you get closer to the gazebo, you become more hyper-aware of your own heartbeat. You slow to a stop just about 10 steps shy away from the entrance. You take deep breaths to calm your nerves as you play with the academic stole around your neck. You can do this. Just get it over with , you thought. If something bad happens, Yoojin is there. You look back and sure enough, he is still watching you. Gathering your strength, you brusquely walk on and into the entrance. You look around and find someone sitting on the left side of you all in black with a beautiful and abundant bouquet seemingly slipping slowly out of his hand. His head hangs low and his black cap prevents you from seeing his face. Is he… sleeping? You hesitate to step any closer to him. "H-hello?" you call out gingerly. "Are you okay…?" You see the bouquet slipping out of the last finger and you lunge forward to catch it — just in time. In turn, you feel a hand gracing over yours. You snap your head up and slowly, he reveals his face to you. He grins. "Hi." You gasp loudly, making sure the next step was not a scream because that would alert Yoojin. "Wo… Wonho...!" You set the bouquet down on the bench carefully and step back, hands covering your gaping mouth. He pushes himself out of the seat and straightens up. Your eyes cannot stop following him. He takes off his cap as you take on what he was wearing: a tie, dress shirt and skinny fit dress pants complete with a black leather jacket that happens to have a dark red lining on the inside. There also seems to be a subdued color on his dress socks too, matching the inside of his jacket. One thing was different about him. His hair is blond this time, styled like that of Beautiful era. He picks up the bouquet and presents them to you. "Congratulations, Y/N," he says softly. You stare at the flowers as he hands them off to you. You close your eyes and inhale their aroma. "It's so… beautiful," you say breathlessly, looking back up at him. "Why… how come you're here?" "Ah…" He puts his hands in his pants pockets and looks around. "After that night, I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave you. I really wasn't sure about anything. But there was one thing I was really sure about: it's that I like you." Your eyes widen. Are your ears deceiving you? You shake your head. "I'm sorry, you — ?" "I do like you, Y/N," Wonho states. "If — " He lowers his gaze to the ground. "If you're okay with that." Silence falls on the both of you. You have become speechless, awestruck even. This was someone who was your bias for so long, and to stand here, in front of you, admitting to you that he, an idol, likes you… you pinch yourself. You look at him and see he is chewing on his lips nervously. He must have been thinking about this. "I…" you begin. His eyes snap to yours in earnest, eager to listen to anything you have to say. "I am a fan," you declare. "You… are an idol. Is this going to be okay?" "If they have anything to say… I will shut them down. I have done so before. I won't hesitate again." His eyes flashed ice cold for just a split second before returning to the warmth it held. You look between his eyes in bewilderment. He seems very sure of this. He does not seem swayed by any future problems it might hold. He steps closer to you and begins playing with your softly curled hair. He smiles warmly. "So, now that you have more time, and I hope it still isn't so frivolous to you," he begins. "Will you go out with me?" ////////////////////

W O N H O ' S  P E R S P E C T I V E // Leaving the Café

(Disclaimer: this will have the majority traditional Asian perspective, so if something seems off or weird to you, this is a very typical thing, as it is with me and almost all of my Asian friends' traditional parents. Please do not take offense.) As he and his mother walk away from the café, Wonho turns his head around to see her, only to find she is no longer there. He sighs with some amount of regret that he had no way of contact with you at all. "Hoseoki, it looks like you were having a lot of fun with that girl," his mother comments. "I have fun with any and all Monbebe, Oma." "Yes, but not as much fun as with her." He shrugs lightly. "My son, your mom may have bad eyesight, but she can see how much you like her," she says in a serious tone, eyeing her boy. "You know you won't be an idol forever, so sooner or later, you will have to settle down, get married with a good wife, and maybe have some grandchildren for me." "Oma!" Wonho's eyes widened in shock. "This is too much too soon!" His mother laughs heartily. "But make sure she is a right fit for you too. Oma doesn't want you to rush either. Oma only wants you to be happy." She pauses. "She seems like a very lovely girl, who is passionate and isn't afraid to pursue what she wants. She is in some ways like you, but has her own charms." "H-how do you know all this?" he asks. "It's only for an hour and it seems you know more than I do." "Oma always knows more." She smiles as she rubs her son's back. "Try to reach out to her again." He sighs in defeat. He realizes she is right. He does like her passion and the dedication she has to her craft, which he can relate to when it comes to his music and fashion. Nothing can hold their creativity back and that gave him a spark. To him, she is grounded in her goals and aspirations, just as he was. He wants to know more about her. He hopes he can. //////////////////// Throughout the rest of the month, Wonho came by the café more often than not to see if she was there in the evening, working away on her project. Unfortunately, to his dismay, anytime he was there, she was nowhere to be found. He tried to appear sometimes in the morning or afternoon as long as his schedule allows, but she was not there either.

His hopelessness grew, and his regret and guilt became stronger as he fell into his bed in the Monsta X's dorm. In the moment of his last drop of desperation, it hit him. He remembers that the portrait of him was her final project. Finalproject. Her graduation project. He shoots up out of bed to find his phone on the charger. He looks up the university website near the café and scrolls through to find the graduation date. He checks it against his schedule to see if he is able to attend. He grins.