#So I really don't travel unless absolutely necessary. Because it's no fun.

[theinnermeyoullneverknow]

But is Tennessee DOT accepting public comment? Would they allow kentuckians to say "hell yeah I'll come spend money in your state if I can get there by train"?

And of course Kentucky state government isn't considering anything that might actually be useful, have you SEEN our state legislature? 🤦‍♀️

Tennessee has the potential to finally make a good decision and help to finish off our system by implementing Nashville-Louisville service, Nashville-Chattanooga-Atlanta both with they’re current DOT rail studies

[clare-with-no-i]

theogony part 1 behind the scenes

**SPOILERS ahead for theogony and mild spoilers for Outlander!**

this is just going to be a long infodump of all of the things I pondered while writing theog (specifically part 1, part 2 will come later) but never talked about! I'll try to go chapter by chapter, and maybe I'll end up adding more later on, but for now I just think it'd be fun to chitchat and reminisce on some of my favorite tidbits. this story is really my baby idk :")

Prologue - Alalá

one thing that I wanted to establish in the prologue, other than the obvious James-Sirius dynamic, is the presence of otherworldly or spiritual premonitions in this universe. it was always important to me that the first person who actually made any sort of prophetic declaration was James.

so much of the story relies on Lily's status as an oracle, but this little tidbit here helped build the world for me so much; we can't be sure if James's various dreams and premonitions are wishful thinking, or really the Gods speaking to him, or something else entirely. of course, this story deals with time travel, so there's an inherent supernatural element. but Lily and James's conflicting – and sometimes competing – conceptions of God felt like such a necessary tension for me to explore. it was such an incredible shorthand for the tension between modern and ancient sensibilities. and we never get a definitive answer to those looming questions, which I knew I wanted to do from the outset. did the Gods bring Lily back to the past? did James? did she do it herself? does God/the Gods even exist?

also: there are probably moments where I failed to do this, but I tried to capitalize Gods in all of the James chapters but not in Lily's, unless she was referring to the Abrahamic Capital G God. that is, until the last chapter, which I'll elaborate upon later :)

also: i wrote the prologue first, then the epilogue, and then i posted the prologue pretty immediately after. I had the entire story roughly outlined but I absolutely jumped the gun when it came to posting the prologue LMAO I didn't even really announce the story, I just joked about writing it and then posted the prologue, which you can see from the beginning note. i remember Suze was about to go to sleep and she started messaging me like wtf Clare what do you MEAN?

and the rest was history (pun completely intended)!

Chapter One: Ouroboros

the narrative brushes past the other statues in this section pretty quickly, but I always imagined that the first bust is Philoctetes, James's father. I think the consensus on this one tends to oscillate between Philoctetes and Aristides, which is another great interpretation.

The reason I wrote it this way and imagined it to be Philoctetes is because I thought it would have been nice to let Lily 'meet' James's father (in a sense), even before she 'meets' him. when I read this chapter back after I first finished the story, I had a very soft moment where I close-read my own fic (lol) and thought that maybe it was Philoctetes who sent Lily back to the past. maybe he sensed something about her and knew she'd be right for James and for antiquity.

sooo many people forgot about this! which i was hoping for!!!!! I was hoping everyone would forget about James's statue holding something until the Big Reveal. fun fact is I wrote the reveal right after this. I liked the idea that, no, he was never going to actually be holding anything. he'd be reaching for Lily. the choice to accept his hand was always going to be hers.

a fun fact about this chapter is that I had to pull from a bit more Outlander lore than I originally thought. and no I don't mean the 'Jesus H Roosevelt Christ' part lol. It was always hilarious to me how Outlander set up Claire to be the objectively perfect person to go back in time. she was a combat nurse who happened to develop an interest in medicinal botany and Scottish-English history. she also happened to spend her formative years with her adventurous archaeologist uncle after her only living relatives died. like girl. lol.

so I had to really toss up which traits I thought it would be appropriate for Lily to have as she traveled back in time. the biggest one, obviously, is her field of study, which was necessary given the language barrier and the completely foreign nature of social norms in Classical Athens. I toyed around with the idea of making her mum a nurse so as to give her some base medical knowledge, but that felt a) unnecessary given the circumstances of the story, and b) far-fetched that she would have gleaned enough transferable skills to apply in 479 BCE.

it was also fun to give her more reason to go back to the future; she has a sister who, while they aren't in contact, is a significant emotional attachment; she has academic goals; she has a best friend (however toxic we know him to be). it added a layer of conflict that I enjoyed playing up, even if I definitely could have explored her modern life more fully.

Chapter Two: Kinesis

soooo much exposition and worldbuilding in this chapter. oml. it was so much fun to play around with the reasons why James would be in Tatoi in the first place; I can't remember quite how I landed on the Persian auxiliary soldier thing, it might have been from my initial (admittedly extensive) research on the months leading up to Plataea; it may have just been the fact that I KID YOU NOT this story used to take up all of my fucking brainspace. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd be doing work for my research fellowship and just daydream about theogony. the initial idea came to me AS A JOKE!!!!! when i was idly pondering before going to sleep (as one does), and then it just wouldn't leave me alone. i kept imagining what it might look like. I thought about how the time travel might work. I thought about James's Greek equivalent. I ranted to my sister and her dog (he did not care) about what the statue might look like and mean (sorry bestie love u).

one narrative decision that has given me a bit of strife was the Dimitrios-James name change. I've had a number of people ask me if I'd ever try to pubilsh theog – and this is one of the (many) reasons why that would be pretty categorically impossible. using James's English name in his internal narration, instead of the name I give him as a Greek man, is something that only translates to fic. it makes pretty much no sense at all if you consider these original characters lol.

honestly putting the word 'practicum' in here caused me SO much pain. in James's chapters I tried really hard to use words which had Greek roots and not Latin roots, even if they're in modern English today. in most of his chapters, I'd try and find synonyms for big/complex words so I could use ones that came from Greek. it just helped me stick to his narrative voice a bit more.

I forgot how much STUFF went on in this chapter. oh my god SO much happens?? we get the lack of the Parthenon as the time marker (felt very clever doing that), Lily processing the fact that she's time traveled (lazy writing on my part to not have this happen in a Lily POV chapter but I'll take that on the chin), the Plataea reveal. OML. tired just thinking about it. lily sweetie i am so sorry

guys, the amount of time I spent wondering if I should Greek-ify Sirius's name is insane. For so long I thought about making him Seirios, which is the original Greek version of Sirius. But I felt like I had already messed with their names too much, and so I left it. but honestly I'm still torn. looking back, maybe it would have been the right move to make him Seirios and have Lily give him the name Sirius, but I guess we'll never know!

one of my favorite Sirius moments, and something that, essentially, sets up the rest of the story. but I wanted there to be a little ambiguity throughout the story about how much of this Sirius actually believes.

we know that James has just confessed to Sirius and Pétros that he was hoping they'd desert the Athenian army. we know that he thinks he's going to die, and he's adopted this sort of fatalist view of his future. and then here you have Sirius, who could never abide such a thing, pretty much leaning into the idea that Lily can tell the future – which would allow him to challenge James's prediction. I always wanted to leave it up to interpretation, and I know it comes up in later chapters (at the komos especially), Sirius's skepticism about Lily's origins. but it's such a fun question to ask: does he really believe that she's the Oracle that James prayed for, or does he just need that to be true so he can try and influence the future himself?

Chapter Three: Peribolos

omg. lol. the chapter three opening academic argument scene. this is a favorite of mine, and something I had so much fun writing. it's actually based on an argument/"spirited discussion" I had with my dad a few years ago about moral absolutism versus moral relativism which forced me to interrogate and expand my knowledge on the subject. I thought it was such a fun way to get into Lily's politics and her character without doing crazy exposition in the ancient world.

it also touches upon one of the touchstone themes of the story: that to study something is, in a way, to detach yourself from it. academia is routintely completely disconnected from its subject matter, and it creates this weird disdain for lived experience versus book knowledge. Lily has spent upwards of ten years studying (in some capacity) the ancient world, but she is so utterly out of her depth when she experiences it herself. as such, she espouses these very revolutionary politics when examining historical conflicts, but she has a blindness to what the real-world realities may have been for the people living in those conditions at the time.

alsooooo, The Return of Martin Guerre is one of my favorite books I read in college, and the easter egg here is that it's about a person of dubious origin entering a community and the politics of how the community might accept or reject them. ha ha!

^^based on something I said in an argument with a Poli Sci major in college and I have to say one of my better moments. was an absolute haymaker. this was very 'author gives main character a zinger' of me and I will not be ashamed of it

this! ladies and gentlemen! this was basically a declaration of love!!!! to be loved is to be remembered!!!

in a very romantic way, the study of history can be such an act of love to those who lived before us. i just adore the idea that, even before Lily developed real romantic feelings for James, she had this itching sort of feeling; AKA, when someone has made such an impression on you, and you know (or in her case, you think) that you'll be leaving them at some point, and you just want to be interesting enough, be impressive enough, that they remember you, that they think of you randomly as time goes on. that is such a giddy hallmark feeling of having a crush, in my book. I liken it to making eye contact with someone or having a brief conversation on a night out, maybe at 3am on your way back from a bar when things are sleepy and dizzy, and you just have this sense that you're being seen in that moment as anyone you want to be. i love this moment so much I feel like I could give it its own meta LMAO

Chapter Four: Hamartia

this chapter really put the pedal to to the metal lol. at the time of writing the story, I generally didn't (and still don't) love fake dating that much as a trope; I don't typically love plotlines predicated on (even harmless) deceptions, it's just a sensitivity of mine that I don't expect anyone to relate to or share. but when I was considering how to structure theog, it just made so much sense for James and Lily's arcs to have them get 'married.' there was no way that Lily was going to be able to navigate Classical Athens as an unsupervised woman alone, and even with the Oracle title offering her some protection, there was nothing really tying her to James. much like Outlander, it really did feel like the last possible resort, which softened me to the idea of using the trope.

fun fact, i got a snarky comment a few months ago complaining that i was trying to pass the story off as historically accurate (lol to the fifteen disclaimers I embedded throughout which addressed that) and one thing they took issue with was that lily wouldn't have been able to own property and the only thing that would have kept her from being a slave would have been marriage.

which! yknow! none of which contradict the story! but anyway I digress.

I was initially nervous about how early on the fake marriage happens; we don't really know the characters that well yet, we're not sure who James is as a potential partner to Lily, or how Lily's feelings for him are starting to bump up against her very rightful and justified desire to get the hell out of dodge. but – we only really see James in canon as a husband and as the father to the main character, so it felt pretty true to the source material to throw him into being a husband pretty early.

I loved writing this scene with Aristides. I've always been partial to his appearances throughout the story, and this one is just so special to me. I think of him as a driving force in humanizing the ancient world in theog, sometimes even more so than the main cast of characters. to elaborate a bit on that: with the Marauders and Lily and the other transplanted HP characters, I think there's this inherent sense that they are already fleshed out people (to some degree) even before they hit the page of the story, because they appear in canon and across Marauder fic verses. no matter how much I make James into Dimitrios and Peter into Pétros and Fleamont into Philoctetes, people know them and love them outside of theogony verse. but not Aristides. he doesn't have a one-to-one HP character. there is some version of him that really existed in 479 BCE (my complex and largely negative feelings on RPF are setting off alarms at this but we proceed) and that's it.

it would have been easy to just give him this very gruff and surly character, to make him a military general who didn't care about anything other than the war. I think that's how we conceptualize historical people sometimes, often without meaning to. but he was a person, and he had likes and dislikes, he probably had a family and maybe he'd fallen in love, and it was such an honor to give him such dimension. not to say that I'm putting that personality upon the actual historical person; but just to really take my time with a character outside of the Marauder canon. in this scene he has this human moment where he reminds James that, yes, love is a worthy pursuit, even to those in positions of incredible power. even when the discussion isn't about romantic love but about James's love for his closest friends. it's this permission that James didn't even know he was seeking but ultimately that changes the course of his and Lily's lives. Aristides is who James might become, in many ways. in the actual Plataea chapter this becomes more and more prevalent. (more on this later!)

overall, I am forever hoping that people come out of reading this story with an appreciation for the humanity of those that came before us. I did a poor job with other characters in this story, and I own that, but I'm proud of how I wrote Aristides.

oh my godddddd I fucking love this part. i am so fucking proud of it. LMAO. achieving wordplay in an ancient language that i have never studied should be on my fucking CV I swear. like this was just perfect I'm sorry I am BUZZING that I pulled this off.

also, a cute way to introduce a phrase to the narrative which will become very important: se filo!

I remember that I wrote this passage, which many people commented on and which I loved writing, in a coffee shop on a sunny day when my cousin was visiting me to introduce me to his girlfriend. there wasn't any wifi in the coffee shop so I was blessedly devoid of distractions and could only focus on the doc, and i was LOCKED IN let me tell you.

when my cousin and his girlfriend arrived I told them I was sending an important email and edited the last sentence of that paragraph about four different times while they sat in silence and waited for me to finish LMAOOO

Chapter Five: Ascesis

a profoundly insane moment in my personal history was reading excerpts from Eudemian Ethics, Nichomachean Ethics, and Memorabilia just to passively mention them in a flashback in a fic. relied heavily on Foucault for this, I will be so honest. why did i do that tho. like girl take a breath...

but in all seriousness this was just a joy to write. i miss being a history student and having these discussions – law school is great, but history classes will forever hold my heart ngl! also, this passage is in some ways an homage to my grandfather, who is one of my favorite people ever. he taught himself Classical Greek and Latin when he was in his 20s, before he went to medical school (and get his pilot's license for fun, he's seriously the most interesting guy alive). he gifted me his leatherbound Great Books printings of Aristotle's works and of the Iliad and the Odyssey shortly after I started theogony, and I cherish them so much. he spurred my interest in ancient greece when i was young. so this is for him :)

one of the hardest things for me to articulate (and maybe something I could have done better) was the war and the balance between James's inherent goodness and his growing feelings for Lily. i wanted her to have plausible reason to think that he doesn't at all feel romantically towards her, even as she's growing to admire him more and more. I hoped, as I wrote the story, that these little interactions where the reader clues into his feelings (this protective 'peninsula' moment being one of them) still walked that line. as in, i wanted lily to reasonably believe that he's just that good of a guy that he would take issue with anyone being taken advantage of, not just her. she's so destabilized in this moment as well, I think that worked to my advantage. or I hoped it did LOL.

from what I remember of writing this chapter, it just came really quickly and naturally. much more than the later ones. this early period of writing was just an outpouring of the ABSOLUTE BRAINROT I was going through after conjuring up the idea for the story. it just flew. the ending scene where they have their little almost-moment was probably about an hour's worth of writing. it's like I couldn't type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. not sure i've experienced that since!

also, the now, here, alive line reappears in the last chapter, which is one of my favorite callbacks:

:) :) :)

Chapter Six: Kleos

one thing I used to worry about CONSTANTLY is that I was losing the classic (and necessary!) Marauder goofiness to the more somber setting. so it was a jaunt and a boon to write scenes like the opening one here, where it honestly could be copy-pasted into the Gryffindor Common Room and it'd look a lot like my canon stories.

he's just a dude being hungover and embarrassed about the previous night with his bros!

the first time we get a hint of Pétros disappearing to dubious locations!

this chapter was one of the most research-heavy. it was a new setting, filled with new characters, and predicated entirely upon planning the Greek front at Plataea. so if I couldn't nail that down (at least to some degree), I was going to have trouble. of course I took liberties, but I spent a lot longer combing through sources for this chapter than some other ones, I'll tell you that for free. it took ages to find any treatises on ancient athenian sword combat, sigh.

yeah I mean i remember thinking that the subtitle for this chapter could have been 'I am going to create an environment that is so toxically masculine' because that's pretty much the whole vibe. James is not immune to that, either, and that was intentional. he feeds off of the violence and the anger of the men surrounding him, and he exhibits some behaviors in this chapter (rushing off to kill Anaxagoras after he grabs Lily's arm, for instance) which are not ideal! but I do think that there's meaningful conversation to be had about Lily's cultural assimilation into an ancient, misogynistic society, and how there was absolutely no way I was going to get out of this story without giving James some sort of period-typical attitude. now again, I took the liberties I deem necessary, because I have no desire to make my main romantic lead into an asshole. that's not my James Potter. not that that's news [gets taken out by a sniper]

i got CLOWNEDDD for referring to this dude as Dion son of Dion but idk what to tell you!! that's how the old documents referred to him!!! i didn't make that shit up I swear to god!!!!

also - that's the actual text of the Oath of Plataea, except (as Lily points out) it should read Athena Areia. is it likey that she'd remember this off the dome? no. is it possible that she just recognized the missing descriptor from context clues? yes. did i care enough to explain this either way? no, no i did not.

the Big Ticket Item of this chapter, though, is the oh.

and it wasn't just an oh, it was an oh followed by this innocuous conclusion that isn't even about Lily. i made myself laugh so hard with that. he's just like 'oh god my friend is going to wave this over my head FOREVER' and you know what? he's right!

as for the previous paragraph in that passage, I pulled a bit of a bait and switch, but not as badly as you might think! it was a risk to even bring up the idea that James could leave Athens, because I know it spurred some people into thinking that he'd go to the future with Lily (sorry babies that was not on the table). but what I intended for this passage (however successful it may or may not have been) was to just…allow him a moment of real, visceral empathy for the sensation of displacement that Lily's experiencing, and as well, introduce the idea that he might leave the life he's cultivated in Athens. his entire upbringing has been himself, the consummate Athenian man, surrounding himself with people from outside of Athens and drawing from their experiences, but never venturing outside of his little realm. in so many ways, the story questions what Lily's relationship with 'home' is (especially later on), but it always felt necessary to me to reckon with how 'home' may change for James as well.

finally:

yeah honestly i just remember the exact moment i thought of this passage. i had been reading the secret history (shoutout Donna Tartt i idolize and fear you) and i was lying down in my local park in the summer. I just thought about the Greek myths I knew, and the kind of cosmic horror that it is to really admit you're falling in love with someone, that they have this power over you that you didn't anticipate. and that closing line of the scene really struck me out of nowhere – I wrote it down in my notebook and just stared at it for a good few minutes. it's still one of my favs of the story :)

ok! if you made it this far, you are just amazing. this has to be a few thousand words at least. TYSM!!!!

see you all later for the part 2 BTS ❤️

[your-resident-boat-person]

I noticed there are dates on your top liners list, ranging from the 1870s to the 2000's. I think on my alt you told me it was one of the last made, and the last in current use (as a hotel [and apparently haunted house according to the third video?]).

Anyway, I was wondering if you had an overview on the history of Ocean Liner design and how they've changed over the years, both technical in terms of operation, and aesthetic from the point of view both as a theoretical passenger and a learned liner enthusiast!

Plus any fun details about your examples would be nice as well.

Svjsvphsvpusvpusv okay. I am going to need to split this up into multiple posts, because I can not convey all this information with the 10 Pic limit. So periodically, check the reblogs of this post. I will periodically be adding more to it over time. Also, I'm not really citing any sources because this is mostly from memory, so there MAY be some mistakes. Also, I'm typing all this on my phone, so... please forgive the formatting, grammar, and spelling mistakes.

To begin, let's quickly discuss what an ocean liner is. An ocean liner is a ship you travel on to cross the ocean. It's called a liner because it goes in a line across the ocean. In this sense, “cruise liners” don't really exist. The proper term is cruise ship. Many people mistake liners for cruise ships and vice versa, but they are different in both function and design. As wikipedia puts it, “Though ocean liners share certain similarities with cruise ships, they must be able to travel between continents from point A to point B on a fixed schedule”. This means liners need to be both durable, and fast, something cruise ships are neither of. Cruise ships also almost never do trans-Atlantic crossings unless absolutely necessary. They just aren't built to handle the Atlantic at its worst. Cruise ships usually stay relatively close to land and reschedule for bad weather. For example, the only liner still in service is the RMS Queen Mary 2, built in 2004. Her construction used 60% more steel than a cruise ship of the same size. She also has a top speed of about 30 knots, whereas a cruise ship never really needs to exceed about 18. So, to summarize, an ocean liner is a ship you use to cross the ocean. A cruise ship, while it may take you to numerous excursions, is essentially the destination itself, and it will return you to where you started once the voyage is over. Last thing before we start, GRT. Gross Registered Tonnage is essentially a measure of the total usable internal volume of a ship. Generally, this is a much better measure of the size of a ship than length. For example, the RMS Adriatic was 729 ft long. The Titanic was 882 feet long. Only 150 feet longer, no big difference, right? WRONG. The Adriatic was 25,000 GRT. Titanic was 46,000 GRT. Britannic, which was the same length as Titanic, but 2 feet wider, was 48,000 GRT. Nearly double the size of Adriatic, even though she's not much longer. The Lusitania was 787 feet, and she was 31,000 GRT. So even though Britannic was only about 12% longer, she was about 55% bigger. Last thing, a knot is a unit of speed 1 knot is 1.150779 miles per hour, or 1.852 kilometers per hour.

Anyway, now that we have that sorted out, let's get into the history >:3

So, it starts with the steam engine. At the start of the 19th century, if you wanted to get from Europe to America (or vice Versa), you needed to book passage in a sailing ship. In just 4 short months, you can cross the ocean :D! Between extremely unsanitary conditions and the high chance of you not making it to your destination at all, something needed to change. There were some experiments with bolting steam engines to old sailing vessels, and these were very successful, but really only proofs of concept. Railway engineer Sir Isambard Kingdom Brunel realized that if ocean travel could work like the railway, travel between continents could be much more efficient and safe. With a sailing ship, you were dependent on the wind and weather, so your departure and arrival dates couldn't be predicted with any guarantee of certainty. With a steam engine, the ship could move at a consistent speed over a set distance, regardless of the conditions. Now, ocean travel was consistent, regimented, and much safer. All of these came together in 1838 with the launch of Brunel's SS Great Western, which crossed the Atlantic in 18 days, going at 8.66 knots. She was 1,700 Gross Registered Tons (GRT, a measure of internal volume) and 234 ft 11 in long (71.6 meters). She was the first ocean liner. Granted, she was essentially just a sailing ship with paddle wheels attached to a very rudimentary steam engine, she even Still had sails, and she had a hull made from oak, but she was the first commercial venture to bring passengers across the ocean on a regimented schedule. She was also the first purpose built liner.

Now, these very early years of ocean liners aren't really my specialty, so I'll cover some major events.

In 1839, Sir Samuel Cunard was awarded the first British transatlantic steamship mail contract, and in 1840, formed what would later be known as the Cunard Line, one of the most famous lines ever, And still around to this day.

In 1858, Sir Isambard Kingdom Brunel was back at it again with the SS Great Eastern. With this ship, Brunel set out to solve a problem: He wanted to make a ship big enough to carry enough coal to not need to stop and refuel on the voyage to Australia. The Great Eastern was the largest ship in the world by a WIDE margin. Before Great Eastern, the largest ship in the world was the SS Adriatic of the Colin's Line. She was 3,670 GRT, and 354 feet (108 meters) long. The Great Eastern was a whopping 18,915 GROSS REGISTERED TONS. 5.5 TIMES BIGGER! SHE WAS 692 FEET LONG. As wikipedia puts it, “Her length of 692 feet (211 m) was surpassed only in 1899 by the 705-foot (215 m) 17,274-gross-ton RMS Oceanic, her gross tonnage of 18,915 was only surpassed in 1901 by the 701-foot (214 m) 20,904-gross-ton RMS Celtic and her 4,000-passenger capacity was surpassed in 1913 by the 4,234-passenger SS Imperator.” IT IS WITH HONOR THAT I INTRODUCE YOU TO BRUNEL'S “GREAT BABE”, THE SS GREAT EASTERN.

LOOK AT ‘ER! AIN'T SHE A BEAUT? IN A WORLD WHERE MOST SHIPS DIDN'T HAVE ANY FUNNELS, AND THE ONES THAT DID ONLY HAD ONE, THE GREAT EASTERN WAS THE ONE AND ONLY F I V E F U N N E L E D L I N E R. Even though she later lost one in an explosion, which was never replaced. She was rigorously mocked for her size and number of funnels, which is strange considering the 4 funneled superliner boom just 50 years later.

She FAMOUSLY didn't work, and the stress of trying to MAKE her work ended up sending Brunel to an early grave. SHE INDIRECTLY KILLED ONE OF THE GREATEST ENGINEERS OF ALL TIME! She then spent nearly a decade laid up as a glorified billboard:

She damaged or sunk at least 10 ships in her short Career, had a penchant for spontaneously exploding (which is where her 5th funnel went), and when she was scrapped in 1890, all of her size records were still at least 9 years from being bested. She was NEVER profitable, and the DEFINITION of an outlier. Whenever discussing the largest ships in the world from 1848 to 1890, it goes without saying that the Great Eastern is not included. There is a REASON she's on my top 25, and I've only skimmed the surface. She was a hot mess, and I love her for it. I'd be happy to make a post entirely dedicated to her.

Next, we have the birth of the White Star Line. In 1870, they got their first ship: The SS Oceanic. (Not the RMS Oceanic of 1899 mentioned previously).

Many consider her and her 5 sisters to be the first “modern” liners, in the sense that they were starting to evolve past glorified sailing ships. She was 420 ft 4 in (128.12 meters) and 3,707 GRT. While her size PALED in comparison to the MIGHTY GREAT EASTERN, she was the “largest” ship in the world. Again, the great eastern kinda doesn't count. As modern as she was, Oceanic still had sails, and she had an INCREDIBLE top speed of… 14.5 knots. It was fast for the time. In fact, she won White Star Line their first Blue Riband for the fastest trans-Atlantic crossing. The ships of the Oceanic class were the Oceanic, Atlantic, Baltic, Republic, Adriatic (not the aforementioned RMS Adriatic, OR the SS Adriatic of the Colins Line), and Celtic. One of the big innovations of these ships was that they had a longer length to width ratio. Most sailing ships have a 6:1 ratio of length to width. The Oceanic class increased it to 9:1. With a thinner hull form, it reduced drag and allowed for a higher speed, albeit at the cost of stability. She was also one of the first ships at sea to use electricity. Not for lights, though. Those were still oil lamps. No, the electricity was for buttons in the cabins, which, when pressed, would summon a steward. Founder of the White Star Line, Thomas Ismay, realized that most of the profits of shipping lines came from The hundreds of steerage passengers, rather than the ultra wealthy first class/saloon Class passengers, so he made sure that he had THE BEST steerage accommodations by a scenic mile. He wanted to make sure that he'd be the one getting their business. Her steerage accommodations (3rd class) were fuckimg REVOLUTIONARY in their standards. In an era where poor people were treated like literal cattle, the steerage accommodations on the Oceanic class must have seemed like heaven on earth. Certainly better than anything they would have ever experienced on land. Steerage passengers had FRIGGIN PORTHOLES, which was a new thing for them because, like I said, before White Star, no one gave a shit about poor people. Also, for decks beneath the water line, there were skylights that reached all the way down to the bottom decks. The designers went through great pains to make sure everyone had fresh air and natural sunlight. Which, again, not something you'd find on other ships of the era, as basic as it seems. Anyway, the SS Atlantic, the White Star Line's second ever ship, was their first loss at sea. While we associate the line with Disaster today, history shows quite a different story. In their 65 years of operation, from 1870 to 1935, they operated at least 89 ships. They only lost 5 during peacetime disasters. This is a genuinely phenomenal track record, especially for the time. The aforementioned Collins Line lost literally 2/5ths of their ships (although they did have a much smaller fleet, so it's not an entirely fair comparison). Anyway, the SS Atlantic ran aground near Halifax Nova Scotia, with a loss of 535 people, leaving only 429 survivors. In the 30 minutes the ship took to fully sink, not a single lifeboat could be launched. I'd highly recommend Part-Time Explorer's videos on the subject.

In part 2, we'll cover from 1874 to 1900, with some of the most famous ships of all time. Like I said, this early stuff is where I'm weakest. Part 2 is where I'll become REALLY knowledgeable. >:3

[lowlywriter]

I hope it’s not too annoying that I basically come here every time “Lost in Paradise” gets updated but like….. how can I nottttt? (*'▽'*)

I haven’t fully finished reading the latest chapter (honestly I wanna reread it once I have more time) but aghhhh… this is probably the second only time travel fanfic I’ve read that has handled the whole Geto killing a village thing—and ngl I like yours more simply because Satosugu stick together, I don’t think my heart could have handled Geto snapping or crumbling and defecting still (he was thissss 🤏 close and that’s so scary in its own way)

Geto’s emotions mwah. It’s always a treat to get his POV once in a while; he’s a sweet, patient dude but there’s… definitely potential in him to do some awful things if just pushed the wrong way for too long. ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ= = =

Also! I know people don’t typically like ocs in fanfics, but I already love Suguru’s mom. Like her smacking him over the head with a magazine made me almost laugh in class. I think ocs can be a fun addition to the story and honestly necessary sometimes—in this case with building that emotional case and contrast from past!Suguru and the future!Suguru.

Anywayyy sorry for the rambling but honestly your writing is like a weekly savior for me at this point XD hope you have a great day!!

Hello again!

The asks aren't annoying at all, don't worry about it! I love that you're so enthusiastic about the fic! It makes me happy to know you (and so many others) enjoy it as much as I do!

I absolutely love student Geto as a character (not much of a fan of cult leader Geto, or Kenny Geto though). He's such a joy to work with! You can just tell he's such a sweetheart in the beginning of the second season by how is acts with Gojo himself and the girls in those flashbacks. Poor guy is just so lost after everything bad that happened and that village is his last straw. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed seeing kids treated like that too! I honestly think if he had of called Satoru, he would've felt exactly like him. Depressed Geto, isolated makes me so sad :(

Geto's mom was so much fun to flesh out! I love her.

I just wanted him to come from a nice home where he's loved so the whole world doesn't feel like it's against him. I know the show (and maybe the manga?) say he deliberately went to and killed his parents, which doesn't exactly paint a happy, healthy relationship, but it's my world and he gets to be happy! He deserves it!

I'm of the same opinion with ocs! I don't mind them at all, unless they turn into a major character and start stealing the show from the main cast (unless specifically tagged) that I'm looking for!

To each their own, in the end.

Fanfiction is a truly self-indulgent hobby, so I understand people wanting to add their creations into the world! I really only make small ocs to fill the world (and families)! And if something's going to be a little oc heavy, I like to separate it from the main stuff just so everyone can read what they're looking for!

I'm so honored that people are waiting for LiP to update! It's so motivating! Hopefully I can keep up with it! :D Thanks for the ask, and for reading the fic!

[thewolfisawake]

1. does your muse enjoy watching the stars?

They don't dislike it but they're not super jazzed about it either.

2. does your muse have any long-term, life plans?

Sadly, their own long-term plan has been plotting alongside their father and seeking opportunity for their revenge. Eriskyne has never considered their life outside of this.

3. how does your muse manage strong emotions?

In a sense, they are numb to strong emotions. They've bit down their rage, their sadness, the complexities of themselves to a point they feel...nothing. Not anything strongly. They can't recall feeling anything outside of annoyance, which is honestly more reflecting. It would take them by surprise to have anything strong enough to break their frozen heart. I think it'd overwhelm them and get swept with it.

4. how many blankets does your muse sleep with?

Depends on the season but usually 2-3. There is always one under them and one over them. The third would be put on top if they were still cold.

5. has you muse ever experienced sleep paralysis? 

No, they haven't.

6. what style of music does your muse like the most?

Lo-fi, actually. Or I guess it might not be surprising in some aspects. It's stuff that can play and not distract them. A lot of music is 'too loud' to them. And while they are old enough to know of some classical, they don't necessarily vibe with it? But yeah, Eriskyne is the type to have those beats to study/chill with going on. How they get it working in the Seelie? They regularly pop into the mortal realm for charging what they use. They do hide it from those in the Seelie.

7. what’s the furthest from home your muse has traveled?

Going to the Novian Empire is probably their furthest jaunt from home so far. Honestly can't really go far unless they've been asked to. But they were having fun observing the shenanigans that went on.

8. does your muse have any unusual fears? what are they? 

It isn't to a point of like a phobia but Eriskyne is uncomfortable around non-fae blood. Not that they can't function around it, they just would be likely to step away or not want to touch it unless absolutely necessary.

9. is your muse / would your muse be active on social media?

No and no. They are private to an immense degree. Only reason they have it is probably because they're using it to stalk someone else.

10. does your muse get sick often? what’s their go-to remedies?

Fae don't get sick. However Eriskyne sometimes has to wrestle with the drawbacks for exhaustion. As such they usually turn to Seelie flora that works similar to stimulants that both let them ignore sleep and food. Otherwise, their sofa with the lights off is an alternative.

11. is your muse quick thinking? are they able to focus when stressed?

Yes and no? Like how they process things, I feel, they think for a long time. Information is brought in and they are either picking apart its use or trying to see if there's something more. But technically yes or they probably would have been caught a long time ago. And yes, they can focus under stress.

12. what is your muse’s most helpful coping skill, healthy or unhealthy?

Working. As much as there is the desire for unionization, Eriskyne doesn't know what to do with themselves when there is nothing truly to do. It makes them have to consider...what's there outside of this whole scheme they got going on. They do not like having to consider that.

13. what is the strangest / least comfortable place your muse has slept?

The floor. Didn't make it to the bed or even sofa and boy, did they not like when they woke up.

14. where does your muse’s strength lie? physical strength? mental? emotional?

Eriskyne's strength is within mental fortitude. Despite all their hang ups, they can ultimately get through anything. In that aspect, they're just too stubborn to be held back. Yes, even their not knowing and their relationships...they could work through any of them if they gave themselves a fair shot.

15. if your muse had the option, would they prefer to go to space or explore the ocean?

The utter geek in them would say both because of the possibility with both. But likely the ocean wins out because it's closer and still more mysterious than the expanse of the skies.

16. how skilled is your muse in the kitchen? what is the most complicated dish they know how to make?

Eriskyne is probably one of the few 'gentry' that can cook. The bar is in hell for that but they do come out at least on par with some of the cooks within the palace (as that's where they learned). As for their most complicated dish...huntsman pie. They haven't mastered it but they can do it. Mainly because of a combination of how long it takes to make them and because Eriskyne personally doesn't really like them.

[omamervt]

I played Horizon Zero Dawn last week and this week I started Forbidden West, and... Zero Dawn was better in every way. Some ways I can't even begin to explain why, but others I know exactly.

There were a couple notable improvements in Forbidden West, mostly in the melee combat system. The introduction of combo attacks and bonus damage accumulating from combo finishers makes close-quarters combat actually fun. It also gives you WAY better transition moves to switch back to ranged as soon as it becomes necessary. It makes combat in and of itself more enjoyable.

And if that were ALL that had been done to combat, I'd probably be willing to write off all the other issues I have, but unfortunately it's downhill from there. Because while open combat is fun, stealth is sometimes necessary and it is worse in just about every way this game.

In Horizon Zero Dawn, you had an eye icon that told you if you were visible and how much noise you were making. Individual enemies then had a yellow circle that would appear above their head if they were on alert, which would fill to red if they spotted you. In Forbidden West, they replaced the eye thing with the enemy alert icon, thereby making it absolutely useless. It no longer tracks how much noise you're making or whether or not you're even visible to your enemies, it just displays reduntant information, showing up yellow if even one enemy is on alert, and red if even just one enemy has seen you. I'd be willing to bet if I didn't play Zero Dawn that'd happen to me more often and I wouldn't even be able to tell you WHY I was spotted, I'd think I was seen from cover, it wouldn't occur to me that someone might hear me. In fact, when you're in the heat of battle, it can even DISTRACT you from the icons above enemies' heads, making it that much harder to quickly identify who's actually seen you.

On top of changes to melee combat and stealth, they also changed how all your ranged weapons work. Tripcasters are now basically useless unless you're willing to leave yourself completely exposed. Ropecasters don't instantly fire anymore, and that took some getting used to (although to be fair, heavy ropecasters in Zero Dawn were OP and this is an appropriate nerf). But even the weapons that are functionally identical, like your bows, now face mechanical alerations from the crafting system, which really only seems to serve as a way to waste resources. You can get a great Hunter's Bow for example and max out its upgrade track but oh shit what's this? this merchant has one just like it but it's better at lv 1 than yours is at lv 4, so you buy it but then oh, shit! this needs the exact same ultra rare resource to upgrade as your last bow except now you don't have any and don't even know if you can trust that you won't be presented with another better bow and come to regret upgrading this one. It's an incredibly frustrating thing to experience when some of the resources don't seem to respawn and others require you to fight machines that could easily two-shot you even at higher levels. Oh, and on top of that, you now have to find a workbench to craft, it can't be done from the menu. Actively removed a QOL feature for no good reason (realism isn't a good reason, we're playing a primitive civilization thousands of years in the future who hunt killer robot dinosaurs with bows and spears.)

Onto things I can't explain, this game's map just... doesn't feel as fun to explore. To me the hallmark of good open world is when they add things like fast travel or mounts to speed up the process, which you only use to avoid covering areas you've already thoroughly explored or to speed past challenges you're not ready for yet on the way to the ones you are ready for. If you're using fast travel/mounts to avoid having to explore as much ground, you've fucked up, the vibes are off on your game. I didn't clear every challenge in Zero Dawn, that'd take forever and I wouldn't have started Forbidden West already, but I found every tallneck and explored every area of the map at least once. In Forbidden West, I don't even WANT to. Maybe it's fatigue from jumping in immediately after beating the first one, but seeing every inch of this map isn't appealing. I don't even have finding the Super Armor to look forward to, that's just an unlockable ability in the skill point menu now, so I'm probably gonna clear story and still have several grayed out areas on my map and I just... won't care.

The story itself is also overall less satisfying this time. It was part of the experience with Zero Dawn, you'd go around collecting boyfriends and a few girlfriends while learning about yourself and the past. But the thing that made that FUN was the discovery. WHAT Aloy finds was usually predictable, they'd project it in advance, but when they actually told you what they were projecting up to that point, it was always so much bigger than I'd imagined. In comparison, Forbidden West's writing just has a more... generic vibe to it. It's just the plot of an open world RPG with no fanfare, no clever projections about what's coming next, no big reveals to even make those projections have a payoff. It's still engaging but it's just not as meaningful. Plus I'm almost through finding the subordinate functions and so far Aloy's only acquired one new boyfriend. The others are just repeats.

It's still a good game but in so many ways it just feels like a step backwards. We got better melee combat at the cost of simple and clean stealth/ranged combat. The crafting system sucks now, stealth sucks now, tripwires suck now. It's all kinda disappointing.

[rinkwrites]

copied from my comment ⬇

i really like this analysis, HOWEVER I don't think there was actually a car accident. Bunny is an established unreliable narrator, and the car crash is his vague interpretation. Given what we know about Henry's families religion, and the circumstances of his birth, I beleive he was actually abused by his father, and there's a lot of text evidence to support this theory. there's a lot more I could say on this if anyone cares/is interested? but I'm running out of room here.

Extra Analysis

So firstly when its introduced to Richard, what Bunny says is 'I think that's what it was, don't know what else it could have been.' so its never really confirmed that this actually happened.

So Camilla and Charles their get nervous up to a few days before travel, because there parents died in a car accident, but Henry, despite being canonically a terrible driver, never seems fearful of driving.

Richards, in his mildly gay infatuated way, repeatedly marvels at how Henry while being so big and imposing, can practically melt into the shadows and remain unnoticed. I dont know about you but that screams abuse survivor to me, its a fairly common survival mechanism, and its especially noticeable amongst people who were abused as children.

Henry seems to see Richard in a way that no matter how intelligent and good at reading people he is supposed to be, you would've needed to be abused yourself to get. He says ''You're not very happy where you come from, are you?'' When I first read it i thought he was talking about Richards lies about his childhood, because I thought he had figured them out due to how good he was at reading and manipulating/using people. I thought it was a kind of pretentious jab at Richard, but on rereading it i genuinely don't think he knew the extent of Richards deceit, i dont think any of them did. I also don't think he is as snobby as he first comes across, Julian is snobby and Henry hero worships him, so I think some of that attitude rubbed across, but overall I think Henry's just blunt and impolite to everyone he doesn't know very well. He's not rude to the rest of the college because they're not as smart as him, he's rude to them because he doesn't know them as well. Anyway I'm pretty sure he was talking about Richards cruel father, he says 'Don't worry you hide it rather cleverly.' I think unless you had been abused yourself, firstly you wouldn't notice someone else covering up abuse and secondly, you absolutely would not congratulate them for it.

So considering Henry was raised Catholic, its pretty easy to assume that his Father was Catholic, and firstly Catholics back then often had the attitude of 'spare the rod, spoil the child.' so its easy to imagine his Father physically abusing him. Secondly its implied Henry's father enjoyed living the high life several times, mostly by Bunny - but occasionally by Julian (I think Henry confided in Julian about his childhood and Julian used Henry's trauma as a means to manipulate him) anyway if his father was indeed 'living the high life' then i think its fairly possible Henry was conceived out of wedlock, a big no-no for Catholics. This would mean Henry's father harboured resentment to Henry, and possibly that Henry's mother was not particularly in thee position of power necessary to protect her son. And even if Henry was born in the conventional essay, you cannot continue living the high life with a child, so however Henry was born he essentially ruined his Father's fun, obviously not even vaguely an acceptable reason to beat your child nearly to deaths door, but i guess Henrys father could see is at justification.

I also think he saw Julian as a Father figure, it would make sense as Julian manipulated him easily despite how smart Henry was, and also he says at some point that he 'loved him more than my own father. I loved him more than anyone in the world.' I don't think he would have seen Julian as a surrogate Father unless he didn't have a good father of his own.

@bazberkker you wanted me to put this in a reblog?

TSH spoilers:

I feel like we as a fandom do not talk about Henry’s symbolism in TSH enough. Like, that dude is the literal embodiment of death, and I just think it’s so damn cool. I mean, his whole obsession with language and literature stemmed from the fact that he almost died in a car accident. And then every death we see in the book (the farmer’s, Bunny’s, and his very own) is directly at his hands. The others were accomplices, sure, but Henry’s the one who takes action every time. And in Francis’s failed suicide and Richard’s near death in the epilogue, they both see Henry, not Bunny or Charles or what have you.

Henry is not only obsessed with death, he IS death. He’s the reaper who’s friends toy with their mortality all the time through drugs and booze. The reason they all admire him is not only because of his size and stature and brilliance; it’s because he’s dangerous. If beauty is indeed terror, than he’s the most beautiful of them all. They all have the life preservation skills of a fly, so of course they love Henry. And of course his actions constantly bring them closer to danger and death.

[unproductive-software-blog]

every game I played in 2023 in chronological order:

1. Persons 5 Strikers: see post

2. Octopath Traveler: played for 1hr11mins after trading my copy of Pokémon Scarlet for it with a friend. The dialogue is too unrealistic, long-winded, and expository. 1/10

3. Alundra: great writing, but not enough to stand out from 2D Zelda. I also don't care for how sepiatone the visuals look. 7/10

4. Wide Ocean Big Jacket: nice game. Could be a blueprint for something really special in the future. 8/10

5. 20 Minutes 'Til Dawn: wow, a run-based game that's actually skill-based. Super addictive, looks awesome, doesn't waste your time, works great on phone. 7/10

6. Vampire Survivors: boring game with uncomfortable controls and bad graphics. Someone was bound to come up with this idea, so I think this game gets too much credit because it was almost immediately bested by its copycats. 5/10

7. Into the Breach: a puzzle game skinned as a tactics game. Too restrictive for my tastes. nothing to it. weirdly good ost. 2/10

8. Oneshot: see post

9. Pokémon Unbound: ROM hack that delivers on everything we want but don't get from Pokémon, but the heart is missing. 4/10

10. Mega Man X: fun game, great ending, worst guitar samples on SNES (sounds like a car commercial), and plays more like an NES game than Mega Man 6 on the NES. 4/10

11. The Dark Spire: one of the best soundtracks on DS, great aesthetic all around, interesting turn-based battle system with many different ways to execute a normal attack (fast, accurate, strong, etc.) and it leaves a lot up to you to discover through play. drops off after not to long when it becomes clear the story wasn't really going anywhere, and the dark aesthetic is just an aesthetic. 4/10

12. Pokémon Sapphire as Nuzlocked: pretty tough!

13. Final Fantasy III (NES): excellent pace that never requires grinding until the very end, which pits you against a dungeon the length of nearly a third of the game length to complete normally. i save-stated the hell out of it, and it still wasn't worth it. maybe play the pixel remaster and just up the speed or lower the difficulty or something at that part, because there are actually some very beautiful moments, and it's definitely, up until that point, the best RPG on the NES that I've played. 3/10

14. Elden Ring: this game makes me feel like the sane man in an insane world. everyone says it's the best game ever, BUT NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE HAVE BEATEN THE GAME. what a padded and directionless game. also does not provide anything of value in the story/themes department that hasn't already been beaten to death by the developer in their previous titles. Dark Souls 2 does everything this game tries to much much better. 2/10

15. The Legend of Zelda: I played this to see if open world fantasy action adventure games were ever even any good. this is honestly, basically just Elden Ring on the NES. 2/10

16. Sonic Advance: hits hard and fast. gotta save those animals. my dad says sonic runs fast and goes through unnecessary loops and stuff to build kids' confidence. 6/10

17. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: ok so TOLZ isn't as good as I remembered, was its sequel any good? no! this is still an interesting game with absolutely garbage soulslike combat. 1/10

18. Dragon Warrior II: I keep trying to play through this and either dropping it for a different version or losing my save data. it's another early open-world game. i like the way the world is like one big puzzle for you to solve, but they SERIOUSLY don't provide enough hints, like hiding a necessary item on an unmarked tile of the overworld, surrounded by identical tiles. gets points for good npcs. Yuji Hori is clearly a man who gives a shit about stuff that matters. 3/10

19. Master Chu & the Drunkard Hu: another NES game for my commute. They give you infinite continues unless you lose to the final series of bosses, which they don't tell you. feels like a little life lesson to get used to it, then have it suddenly taken away. kind of a nonsense game otherwise. 1/10

20. Sonic Advance 2: even as a kid with the manual i didn't know how to do the aerial moves, and i didn't know about them this time until I finally looked it up because i kept dying on the parts where you need them. actually made it kind of far by being a little creative. the game really doesn't teach you about them. once you learn them though, oh man. i played through the whole game again because it's so much fun to use them. this is basically strictly better than the first sonic advance. AND IT HAS CREAM THE RABBIT, who is my favorite of the sonic crew. BRING BACK CREAM! 7/10

21. Omori: see video, 10/10

22. Pokémon Scarlet: see video and post, 4/10

23. Etrian Odyssey III HD: see post, EO3 has some kind of sloppy political metaphors dealing with racism and colonialism, but as someone who knows the other games in the series, which are more straightforward, I do think their head was in the right place here. excellent class system and world. the two benefit eachother a LOT. the rpg classes actually reflect class in a really unique and interesting way (examples: sovereign, farmer, knight, privateer, academic, indigenous person [these are not all the exact names used in-game]). I sat down irl and did lots of math on paper trying to come up with a fun yet powerful party. so addictive and enthralling. a massive adventure that I immediately started on NG+ to see the secret ending. 7/10

24. Pokémon White 2: tbh, still a game that didn't really need to exist. I think plasma in this game is a metaphor for old fans still clinging to the Pokémon series' past. Colress goes on Smogon. IRIS is the hero because she's just a kid who loves pokemon. 5/10

25. Sin and Punishment: crazy ambitious for its time. its influence can be felt today in games like Final Fantasy 7 Remake, which flow seemlessly between action and cutscene. what relentless pace. kind of awkward controls and an outright outdated continue system. would be strictly outclassed by Star Successor were it not for the love story and cutscenes in general, which have a really cool evangelion kind of feel to them. 7/10

26. A Short Hike: recommended to everyone. so easy to pick up and enjoy. real nice ending. 8/10

27. Drx Mario 64: actually very underrated: has a cute fun little story mode with really unique pop-up book presentation. 7/10

28. Puyo Puyo Tetris 2: excellent writing that utterly kicks Drx Mario's ass. WOW. kept playing all the way through the horrible ending just to see the story. this game was a portal into a whole world of compile that i never knew about before, and man, this is like their smash bros. there is so much crazy lore going on in this game, and they are so flippant about ALL OF IT, it's hilarious and cool. Satan is a character in this game. HE JOINS YOUR PARTY. CW, there is a chapter in which you play as one member of the party as they sexually harass another member of the party!! So yeah, I don't love the big themes in this game, but it's just so surprising and very modern. also gets way too hard towards the end. 5/10

29. Celeste: stressful game with stupid frustrating characters. I related more to Badeline than Madeline. seriously Madeline would be so dead were it not for infinite lives. also the way characters squish when they move is nauseating. Absolutely loved the ending when you make peace with your darkside and can practically fly around the game. I wish the whole game played that way instead. 5/10

30. Etrian Odyssey II HD: EO2 is honestly just not that great. it's way too basic. it's strictly outclassed by EO2 Untold, which is fun for the sheer amount of customization options, and the cozy vibes. 4/10

31. Pokémon Leafgreen: this game introduced me to the concept of a remake. as a remake it's pretty good. it plays it very safe, but adds a whole new area to the postgame which is the best content in the game by far. they really did improve after gen 1, and it shows, especially in the writing department. I experimented with a new nuzlocke technique in which I don't count deaths as a result of crossing the street and not looking at the game, allow myself to fight bosses underleveled without counting it as a game over if i lose, and sacrifice a new pokemon of the same family to revive an older one. it cut down on grinding significantly, while still pushing me to stragize and try new monsters. 4/10

32. Final Fantasy VII REMAKE: the most AAA game ever. so glad a developer made a AAA game that focuses on quality over quantity. it made me feel the way i always hope a AAA game will, like I'm actually happy people worked so hard to create this human achievement. even if the game is still padded, it's always got a great flow and almost never gets boring or aimless. also, the team clearly really loves FF7, and for every major scene they didn't quite nail, there is tons of interstitial dialogue, and new scenes that expand on the characters, world, story, and themes in a way that almost always feels right. I do think the ghosts are stupid. please do not add random ghosts into the background of cloud and aerith's first meeting, it kind of kills the vibe. 8/10

33. Fire Emblem (GBA): Wow. Talk about a game that has earned its reputation. The game is very high in the kind of last-minute surprise reinforcement/ critical hit bullshit that I hate about this series most, but the story is so incredibly wholesome and pairs excellently with the crazy violent animations. They clash so severely in a way that really emphasizes how ahead of their time the heroes are. They want to be perfect, peacemongering leaders in a world filled with hate and oppression on every level. Deals with race, class and sexism in a way later games have probably done better, but was very surprising and very E-rated in a way that was extremely direct, which is how I prefer games to tackle those themes (basically succeeding where EO3 fails, even if it is overly-simplistic in comparison). Might be my favorite of the series if not for the cheap way they ramp up difficulty. Also, the music is totally forgettable. The scene in which you recruit Nino pairs excellently with Yuzo Koshiro's The Poets I from Streets of Rage 3. 7/10

^ 0:11 - 0:52

[jamies-overalls]

kaimelia in Hopkins interactions!

I love this! You can't tell me they didn't interact at Hopkins once in a while, even if it was just a fleeting moment. So here, have some Kaimelia reminiscing and realizing they actually met once at Hopkins. I'm not sure this is any good, but enjoy anyways!

The long hours at the lab in Minnesota meant that coffee breaks were absolutely necessary. Sometimes, Amelia would wander to the coffee shop down the block with Meredith. They talked about sister things, mostly, just trying to take a break from the work they'd been doing. But on this particular weekend, Amelia had traveled to Minnesota on her own. One of Meredith's patients had required her to stay in Seattle. So, now Amelia had no one to go get coffee with. Or so she thought.

She and Kai were both planning to work late that particular night, wanting to get as much work done as they could before Amelia had to inevitably go back to Seattle. A few hours after they'd taken a break for an early dinner, Kai finally stood up to stretch their legs a little and walk around the lab.

"You know, I've heard that actually going outside and getting fresh air can be really good for stimulating brain function." Amelia teased gently from where she was sitting. Both she and Kai had a tendency to get obsessed with the work and forget to go outdoors once in a while.

"Ah, and you know that because you're a brilliant neurosurgeon and therefore an expert on brains." Kai laughed.

"I'm also just a person who knows that being outdoors can be good for you." Amelia pointed out.

Kai laughed again, which then turned into a yawn. "Okay, maybe I do need a little brain stimulation."

"How about we both take a break? We're still gonna be here a while, we might as well get some coffee so we can get through it." Amelia suggested.

Kai smiled. "Sure. That sounds good. Unless you're just looking for someone to replace Meredith on your excursions to get said coffee? Because I'm probably not as fun to talk to--" They joked.

"I'm serious! Just come with me, that way we'll both get to be outside."

"Okay, okay. Sounds like fun, then." They smiled.

The two of them headed out together, stepping into the cool evening air and making their way down the block.

"I don't know why, but the way the air feels reminds me of fall evenings at Hopkins. Something about the crispness of it, being out and about... I don't know. It's like, one of those things where a certain smell or whatever brings you back to a super specific memory." Amelia said after a few moments of silence.

"I still can't believe we were at Hopkins at the same time and we never, like, met." Kai chuckled softly.

Amelia nodded. "I know, right? But you were a few years behind me and doing a PhD. I was doing my residency. You were doing research, I was diagnosing patients." She pointed out.

Kai nodded, but they looked thoughtful. "How well do you remember your patients from back then? I mean, if I said someone's name, would you remember?"

Amelia shook her head. "Probably not. I've had so many patients since then, it blurs together after a while. But I did have a few standout cases that I might remember if you mentioned them. Why?"

"I think we did meet. Once." Kai said after a moment.

"What? When?" Amelia was so surprised at this that she stopped walking for a moment.

"There was a patient whose case I worked on, but mostly because I was doing research about different effects of chemotherapy, in the hopes that it would lead me to a type of chemo that was a little less harmful to the patient themselves. And I happen to remember a doctor who was a senior resident at the time, and a bit full of herself, but she was determined to be a neurosurgeon. And she was certainly brilliant."

Amelia listened to them, thinking over it herself. "I don't remember any cases where a researcher was-- wait, yes I do. Oh, my god. That was you. I remember it now..."

---------

Amelia walked away from the patients' room after checking their vitals for what felt like the thousandth time that day. She heard footsteps behind her, rather urgent ones, so she turned to see who it was -- only to find a very tall and very lanky doctor coming right towards her.

"Hey, you were just with the patient in room 507, right?" They asked, a little awkward and a lot eager.

Amelia nodded. "Uh, yeah, I'm a resident on that case."

"Cool. Um, she's a patient in a study I'm working on, would it be okay if I went in to talk to her for a minute about her symptoms?"

"I mean, if she's in your study, then obviously you can talk to her..." Amelia shrugged.

They shook their head. "No, I just mean-- she's probably not feeling well because of the chemo, so-- she might not want any visitors and I didn't want to overstep."

Amelia smiled. "Well, that's very considerate of you, Dr...?"

"Bartley. Dr. Bartley." They supplied.

"Right. Well, Dr. Bartley, she seemed to be doing alright when I saw her just now, so I think she'd be okay speaking with you."

They nodded quickly, a little distracted as if they were already thinking of what questions they wanted to ask.

"Right. Okay. Thank you!"

They hurried off without another word.

---------

"You were so... energetic back then. You've definitely calmed down a bit. Now you're all confident and cool." Amelia chuckled softly.

"Oh, it was all nervous energy back then." Kai laughed. "And besides, I may be more confident and sure of myself, but I am still somehow every bit as awkward now as I was then."

The two of them entered the coffee shop and bought their drinks before heading back to the lab.

"And now... we get back to work." Amelia chuckled softly. "For the record, you're definitely more fun to talk with than Meredith. But don't tell her I said that."

[lucianalight]

Is TVA a legitimate organization? Is a good reason for TVA's existence (i.e. the destruction and genocide that is its goal) actually, truly presented?

I think it is really important to point out the issue of legitimacy as far as TVA is concerned. The whole "Loki is a villain, so TVA methods are acceptable" seems to hinge on the idea that TVA is a legitimate organization. The basic idea, as far as I understand it, is that a police officer might threaten the use of force/use force/use tricks like the ones Mobius used. Therefore, all of it is okay, necessary even - to contain Loki.

But TVA is not a police force, not really, and they do not have a legitimate reason to contain Loki. They have their sacred timeline, and I might be biased (timelines are fun), but I do believe that all timelines deserve to exist.

TVA is not the police force that Loki would and should consider legitimate. If you live in a country and participate in it, you kind of should treat your police as legitimate (unless, of course, they are genocidal or something). You know about this police force, you presumably participate in funding it; it is your country's police, and unless something is very wrong in the country, it is a legitimate, legal representative of your country.

If you travel to a country, you also assume that the police of the other country is legitimate, of course. But Loki did not travel to the TVA. At best, this is like being kidnapped by a police of a foreign country, which makes all their acts beginning to finish completely illegitimate.

On that note, it looks like this is more of a terrorist cell busy with killing people in the name of a purity fetish but oh well. I just do feel that people fall for the uniform and assign legitimacy where there is none.

I may be wrong though, and absolutely no hate to those who love the show. It's okay to enjoy media regardless of what it is or was meant to be.

Hope you get better soon, too.

Thank you! I'm fine now. And to answer your newer ask, no this one wasn't eaten by tumblr I just didn't have enough energy to answer it because of covid.

I agree with you that TVA has no authority or legitimate reason to arrest, interrogate or judge Loki. A legitimate organization who has authority over safety or security of a country, first of all is known by the people who are under its authority. Police force and intelligent services are known to have control over certain areas and to enforce the laws. The laws which are known, or there is a way for people to know and learn about them.

TVA, its existence and its made-up rules are not known by anyone who TVA claims to have authority over and there is no way to learn about them. Moreover its rules are made up by a mad man's attempt to control everyone's lives and choices. Who gave him that authority in the first place? No one and no one should have this type of control over people. Therefore TVA is nothing but an illegitimate, fascistic and oppressive organization and anyone arrested by them is a victim.

Even if it was legitimate, as in it was known or chose in some way by people, since it is inherently oppressive and fascistic, its methods and ideologies are immoral and should not be accepted and conformed to. Because even if sth is legitimate, or a law, it doesn't necessary mean it is right.

Moreover even if TVA had authority to arrest Loki and Loki was guilty, the methods they use for interrogation, fit the definition of torture, and no one should use such methods since it's against human rights.

I don't think people who say "TVA methods are acceptable because Loki is a villain", really care about the legitimacy though. What they are focusing on is whether Loki is a "villain", is guilty or not in some capacity. And since he has done terrible things, then he deserves this treatment, he deserves being beaten up, humiliated and tortured as punishment. No matter who and for what reason treats him like that. No matter how much it is wrong. No matter that redemption arcs aren't and shouldn't be like that. Or that a character like Loki needs compassion and understanding more than anything for him to change and heal.

[doodledust2017]

Wow! Someone tagged me??? Thank you so much @quinndecker214! I don't really have any OCs from any games that aren't self inserts why am I like this, so I guess I'll do one from a story I'm working on called The Lepers. I hope that's okay 🥰

If you're reading this and you really want to do this interview thingy, then guess what? I'm tagging you! :D

Mainly because I don't know who to tag

1. What's your name?

"Gabor. Nice to meet you."

2. Do you know why you’re named that?

"Yeah, I was actually given this name when I was, like... yeesh... 19 I think? It means 'God's greatest warrior', which I think is a bit much, but I am a good fighter, I suppose. My given name is Azrael. It means... Well... 'Archangel of death'... yeah I think you can see why I changed it."

3. Single or Taken?

"Ha! Single. Not to many girls into the whole 'cabin in the woods, living off the land' thing."

4. Have any powers or abilities?

"Yooou'rrrre... joking... right?"

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

"Mary what? *chuckles* Come on, I know my hair's getting long, but that's hardly a reason to call me a girl.

That reminds me, I should stop at the barbers on my next trip into Empyrean."

6. What’s your eye color?

"Brown. Well... My grandma calls 'em russet."

7. How about hair color?

"Black. I like it that way. Helps me blend into the night when... uh... necessary..."

8. Have any family members?

"My parents, I suppose, but I'm honestly not really close with them. My grandma on the other hand, is more of a mother to me than my real one could ever be!"

9. How about any pets?

"No pets. Just my loyal companion, Aala... Ah, did I forget to mention she's a hawk? She helps me hunt rabbits, small birds and things. Some would call her a pet. I would call her a friend."

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you dont like.

"I... Well, I suppose I'll be honest... I don't... really like... myself... uh, yeah, sorry, I... I shouldn't have- L-let's just move on."

11. Any hobbies or activities you like to do?

"Oh, that's easy. Hunting with a bow and arrow. Hands down my favorite thing to do. I don't always kill the animal, though. If I already have all the meat I need, sometimes I'll hunt down an animal just to... y'know... watch it, I guess.

Hey! Don't judge!

Watching deer graze is very relaxing!"

12. Ever hurt anyone in any way before?

"Well, yeah, I suppose. I'm not proud of it, but that's part of being... human I guess."

13. Ever killed anyone?

"Ah, that's... that's quite the question. Well, I... I did say I'd be honest a couple questions back, didn't I? Okay, alright, well, I was 18. 18 and... I was so young... It was an accident I didn't mean to, he was going to hurt my dad and... and... and I broke... I broke...

14. What kind of animal are you?

"This is what you choose to ask after that last question!?

S-sorry, I didn't mean to snap.

Alright, I guess you could say I'm a lion. I would do anything to protect my family and I have a strong 'bite', I suppose you could say. I'm also pretty strong willed."

15. What are your worst habits?

"Worst habits, hm? I dunno, it drives my grandma crazy when I leave my bow and arrows lying around in random places."

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

"Other than my grandma? Elohim. The King of Empyrean. It's incredible how he just spends time with all of his subjects. He knows every one by name, he helps them with their duties, he plays with the children. It's just amazing."

17. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

"Straight."

18. Do you go to school?

"Nah, been there, done that."

19. Ever want to get married and have kids?

"I suppose I'd like to, sure, but realistically I don't think I'd be a very good dad."

20. Have any fangirls/boys?

"Oh, yeah, most definitely, everyone's lining up at the door for my autograph.

You hear that?

Those aren't crickets, that's actually the sound of the paparazzi taking my picture."

21. What are you most afraid of?

"Yeesh, what's up with these random deep questions amidst the fun, goofy ones?

Okay, okay, fine, I'm afraid of myself, happy?

And also crabs, but don't ask why.

Seriously, don't."

22. What do you usually wear?

"This. White shirt, green pants, gray cape, black boots. Earthy colors, you know? Helps me blend in with the environment."

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

"Oh, man, nothing beats a good slice of cornbread that is absolutely doused in honey... my mouths watering just thinking about it!"

24. Am I annoying to you?

"What? No! No, of course not, why would you think that?"

25. Well it’s still not over.

"Good! I enjoy making conversation. Wish it wasn't so focused on me, but that's alright."

26. What class are you?

"Class? Oh, like Level? Well, back home in Malaise I'd be forced to live as a level 3 which is, uh, upper class I guess you'd call it. But here in Empyrean we don't have levels or classes. As long as you got food, family, friends, and a good roof over your head, you're the richest man in the world.

Heh. That was weird, I'm pretty sure my grandma was the one speaking just then."

27. How many friends do you have?

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I just have five close friends. My grandmother, Elohim, Mr. Alden - ah, the butcher, Trista - that pretty young girl I met in Malaise when visiting grandma, and her friend Odysseia. Well, I'd say it's a love-hate relationship with Ode. I lovingly tease her, she unconditonally hates me, it's a great friendship. And of course there's also my best friend, Aala."

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

"Delicious! Kaarina, the baker, makes the best rhubarb pie you'll ever taste in your life!"

29. Favorite drink?

"A nice hot coffee with just a touch of honey to cut down the bitterness a little."

30. Favorite place?

31. Are you interested in anyone?

*blushes* "Me? Interested? Ha, that's, uh, that's ridiculous! I mean, Trista's nice and all, but it's not like she'd ever see me in that way or anything, heheh..."

32. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

"Well, I've never swam in the ocean, even though it was right next to Malaise. Wasn't allowed outside the city limits, y'know? And when I did finally sneak out, my priority was making it to Empyrean, so... I guess I prefer swimming in the lake."

33. What’s your type?

"My type? I dunno... kind and honest are the two main things I look for. Not to picky, otherwise."

34. Any fetishes?

"Right, I'm gonna take a pass on this one."

35. Camping or outdoors?

"Aren't they the same thing? Unless by camping you mean those stupid travel trailers. It's not camping unless it's in a tent. Or even just laying on a blanket next to the campfire."

[isopale]

Here is my entry for @covered-byroses turning 1 writing challenge!

This is my first time writing anything for others to see, and it kinda got away from me... Had to cut it off where i did for now because it juat kept going and going and going..... And next thing i know wow.

Summary: You have a secret you've kept hidden all this time. Until something kills your husband and threatens to expose everything. Just so happens a couple hunters get more than the case they signed up for.

Pairing: none (yet 😘)

Warnings: character death (vaguely/generally discribed)

A quiet normal life was obviously too much to ask for. The past few years had been a lot of running around from place to place, ducking monsters and hunters. Was there nowhere that didn't have some kind of monster in it? How hard was it really?

The monsters never bothered you, they all seemed to know something was off and to stay away. You don't bother them, they don't bother you, simple as that. But some the hunters that came after them were different, these humans that have made it their duty to protect the clueless ones could be dangerous. Some of them have let the jobs get into their heads, and it's changed them. That's why you always left any town they came to, just to be safe.

Angels and demons on the other hand were absolute nightmares. You had spent more than your fair share with them and fighting them. If an angel was in a town, it was drop everything and run before they see you. Demon, leave before a hunter comes since most demons topside were too young go recognize you.

With all the constant moving, you were alone.

Until you met your (murdered) husband. He was a self proclaimed free spirit. Loved to move from place to place and rarely stayed anywhere for more than a few months. You had been hesitant but eventually warmed up to him and before long married, and fell in love. Since he just sooo happened to show up in the same places as you, he was a risk you wanted to take. He was your guilty pleasure, and his death was your fault.

He never knew what hit him. But obviously some demon went looking for the legend not even your dear old dad believed.

After your husband was murdered, you made it your obsession to find and kill it. Someone was talking and it wasn't going to end well.

You had been looking around and discovered that there was apparently a pack of wolves living in town. Small pack, looks to be exclusively family unit. Mother, father, and 2 girls (possibly nearing their 20s) and a teenage boy.

Of course… never a dull moment.

Not too surprising being in the middle of nowhere texas, but in the weeks you had been watching them they only fed on their livestock.

Which makes other murders in town very strange. What ever was responsible made sure to make it look like a werewolf attack.

…

Sam and Dean had been interviewing the investigators and witnesses all day for these “animal attacks”.

“Sounds like a werewolf Sammy,” Dean said opening a beer from the mini fridge.

“Yeah. Where is it hiding though?” Sam mused leaning back in the ratty bedside chair. “No one i touched was bothered by the silver ring today.”

“Good idea of Bobby's by the way. I might have to go check the local talent with it,” Dean said with a smirk lounging on one of the two small beds in the motel room.

“Dude,”

“oh Lighten up Sammy. I was gonna let you go first this time”

“Do whatever you want. I'm going to bed.” Sam rolled his eyes before moving to the other bed, that was a few inches too short for him “Remember we have to talk to the widows tomorrow so try not to have hooker glitter on you this time.”

“That only happened once.”

…

You didn't like to make a habit of being near hunters but you couldn't leave town now. It had only been a few months since you were married and less than a year since you and your husband had known each other. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It had been so long since you had had someone close to you.

You had visited the wolfs farm, this time to talk instead of spy, this morning before work at the small second hand clothes shop downtown. The Hensen's, you should probably remember their name. They were nice and accommodating once convinced you weren't there to harm them. Josh, the husband, wide and sturdy man was willing and ready to end any threat to his family. (Oh those hunters are going to have fun with this one) Amelia, the mother, tall woman towering over you although extremely soft spoken due to then she was turned her throat had very nearly been ripped out leaving a large angry scar. (You wondered if the big one of the two hunters was taller than her) The girls were twins, Anna and Marie, simple small town girls. And the son, Rich, solid country muscle farm boy.

They had been living there for years, long enough to build up that farm and to have the stock numbers to cover their feeding habits. They always sold or gave away what they didn't need. Most of the town thought they ran a home butcher shop and over the years that's what it turned into. But now with the murders and the hunters in town they were all on high alert.

Those hunters were going around town talking to the other 3 widows. Now you could see them through the store window across the street parking that vintage beauty. Both of them were way too sexy to be whatever government agents they were pretending to be. Sex with your husband (the few times it did happen) was great it was meaningful, but he would rather sleep under the stars or not leave the couch unless absolutely necessary to binge on something. But these two hunters made you think sinful thoughts.

Oh if only boys.

Putting on your customer service voice “Good afternoon gentleman. How can I help you?”

“We're federal agents in town working the recent animal attack cases,” the shorter of the two stated as they flash very nice but very fake FBI badges. “We were wondering if there was a (y/n y/l/n) here.”

“That would be me.” not even trying to remember the names on the ids, they wouldn't be real anyway. “Are you going to find out what happened to my husband?”

“Yes ma'am, we are very sorry for your loss,” now it's the taller ones turn “but we were hoping we could ask you a few questions?”

Giving them a sad smile before turning back to arrange new rack of clothes “Sure but i'm the only one here until closing at 6. You can ask here or wait until then.”

The tall one narrowed his eyes slightly. He seemed to want to say something else.

I don't even know what I'm not supposed to know. Normal people don't think werewolf right?

“How 'bout you meet us at the diner down the street when you get off? You can help us out over a quick bite,” he stepped around the small rolling rack of new clothes to make you look at him.

“Sure,” you try your best to hold back fake tears “I'll be there about 15 after.”

…

Too bad you didn't have time to creep on them before the diner, you have to admit they were nice to look at.

They're waiting in a booth in the back, both on one side with backs against the wall to watch everyone else. The tall one with long hair politely waves his hand when you enter. The shorter one has beautiful green eyes, he stands and helps you into the benchseat across from them. The had already ordered you a coffee and a glass of water.

“Thank you for coming Ms (y/l/n),” says the tall one

“How long were you and your husband living here before he was attacked?” Asks the green eyed hunter

“We only came here about a month ago. We didn't plan on staying, we wanted to travel around the country. You know live on the road,” You say not entirely lying “we just pick somewhere to go and get some small jobs around to hold us over for a bit.”

“Wait you don't live here?” Asked the tall one, he was trying to hide his suspicion with empathy.

Hunters…

“No, I'm still staying in the little motel,” you say “I was going to switch rooms but… i couldn't bring myself to…” you say fake holding back tears, you've shed all the tears you needed. Now you want the thing that killed him to suffer.

“We're sorry.” Says the tall one, his features soften and he gives you a look of genuine sympathy. “Why did you stay? Couldn't you have gone back home?”

“Neither of us have any family anywhere, we’re alone.” Now you hold back real tears, suddenly very interested in that coffee.

Taking a sip you realize why it was there before you were. Holy water. It stings some now when it usually doesn't, but you hold your composure. These two aren't playing around, they legitimately think you're the killer.

When green eyes shifts his hands on the table you notice why he helped you into the seat.

Holy water and silver rings, these two are a lot more interesting than i thought.

You sigh and decide to tell them what they want to know… sort of.

“I'm not the one who killed those people or my husband.” you whisper. They glance at each other and some unspoken thing goes between them but before they can feed you more BS you continue. “It wasn't a werewolf either. I know it looks bad but the bodies should have been more tore up, when has a wolf ever ripped out a heart without leaving any other marks?”

“Ma'am werewolves don't exist. We know traumatic experiences like this ca--” the long haired giant begins but green eyes stops him.

“Sam she knows.” He whispers to him “I guess we can cut the act for you then.” He directs to you this time. “What do you know?”

Mmm like to be incharge do ya not-sam.

“I'll tell you what I know but it's not much, and not here. I'm leaving in the morning,” You say “meet me at the butchers farm outside town in an hour.” You get up to leave not waiting for an answer.

…

After the 15 minute walk back to the motel you enter your room. You spare one last glance at the first bed and your heart clenches. You just need to pack the few clothes you have in your backpack and the essentials and be on your way to the farm. You plan on staying with the wolves until the hunters leave and your mind is too preoccupied with things to take and things to leave you didn't notice the rug was moved. Then you bumped the barrier reaching for the moon necklace your husband had given you. You had been so hurt and angry lately you hadn't been careful enough.

“Told you Sammy.” You heard from the doorway

You had not been pissed before but you were now. Hunters, always shoot first and ask questions after. Between angels, demons, and hunters you couldn't catch a break.

“Why'd you do it? Was he even your husband or just some poor sap that happened to be passing through town at the same time?” Sam asked accusingly

“It's not what you think” you say taking a breath to calm down and try and get out of the circle. But green eyes cuts you off.

“Why do you demons think you can just kill whenever you want and we won't find you,” he opens a small leather book “ now were going to save that poor girl you're wearin--”

“I LOVED HIM! LOOK AROUND YOU IDIOT!” So much for calm. You raise your hand and they both are flung against the headboards. You shut your eyes and take another breath.

You feel the darkness fading and with it the circles hold as you step over the barrier, careful to keep your hold on the men before you. You open your eyes to see them staring wide eyed and speechless. Their eyes locked on yours, you know they see the black they are used to but yours also have the familiar blue-white glow as well.

“What are you?” Sam breathes

Striding to the nightstand between the beds you slowly take your necklace before answering “I WILL find out who killed my husband, with or without your help. You have 20 minutes to be at the butchers now and I'll tell you what i know.” You say firmly making your way to the door making sure to walk through the circle again for them to see.

You spare one last look at them. “You know if i was into being on this end of things you two might be in trouble like that”

You release your hold on them as you slip out the door on the last word.

…

Something was different about the boy when you had ran into him that morning before the hunters came to the shop and you were hoping you were wrong.

Even if I'm right I can just fix him when I'm done.

You had been running since you left the motel, you're not going back to that little car you had since someone probably will recognize it again.

“(Y/N)!”

You skid to a stop in front of the Hensen's gate, trying to slow your breathing and heart rate after the 2 mile run.

“(Y/N)!” It must be one of the twins running up the drive yelling for you.

“Please. There's something wrong with Rich.”

Just then you hear the roar of the hunters car coming up the road.

“Get the rest of your family and hide. DO NOT come out until i come get you.” You grab her shoulders and make her look at you “Where is he?”

“He- he's in the barn. Mom is went after him, please don't let them hurt them.” She sobs

You shove her toward the house “GO!” Then tear off to the barn in the light of the hunters impala.

Just before you reach the barn a body is thrown through the doors, you manage to stop it in the air before it smashes into you. It's the mother, you lay her gently at your feet never touching her. It's been so long since you've used your powers it feels good to do it again.

“Don't you touch her!” The green eyed hunter yells gun drawn on you.

You hover your hand over the mother and let the healing white light do its job. Both men stand above you guns at the ready.when When you're done you snap your fingers and send her to her own bed far away from the hunters, still unsure if they will leave this family alone.

…

Dean and I argued the whole way to the farm about (y/n). He thinks it's some kind of demon trick that she got out of the devils trap, that she must have broke the circle before stepping in it. But i saw her run into it, it stopped her from reaching the nightstand when she reached out.

Then her still using her powers on us while trapped shouldn't be possible. And those eyes. Cas’ eyes only glow blue-white in the iris’, and no other angel has black around them. Whatever she is we've never seen anything like her.

'Into being on this end of things…’ more arousing than it should be coming from a possible demon.

'Into being on this end of things…’ more arousing than it should be coming from a possible demon.

Before we could act she snapped away the wife.

“You people are always shoot first and answers later.” She stood us to her full height, barely coming to the middle of my chest before swinging around to face Dean.

“MOVE” she shoves past my brother and i have to hide a laugh

“Wait! We don't know what's in there.” I try to stop her but she's already opening the doors before either of us can stop her.

“Ugh. Just stand still and I do everything. hunters…”

What must be the farmers son is standing in the middle of the loft above us cocky smile and black eyes.

"I didnt think you were real little one"

[free--therapy]

Hi! I have something to share- when I was in middle school, I used to live in a really small town and used to travel to the city everyday for school. One day my then so called "friends" asked me where exactly I lived and when I told them, all 3 of them made fun of me saying I'm a country bumpkin and since then they would sometimes just treat me differently and tease me until I completed that year and our classes changed.

But that affected me really badly and since then, I stopped sharing my exact address with new friends. It's been like 8 years now and now, I only share it with friends I really really trust, it doesn't affect my life and I'm kinda happy that I can keep the privacy but sometimes I find myself get anxious when I have to talk about it in a group discussion or similar situations so I do find myself going to long lengths sometimes just to hide it from some people because I fear it will change their perception of me. Even though I know it's a stupid thing, I get very self-conscious when I have to talk about my home address and try to be very vague about it unless necessary. Is this a trauma response? How can I remove the fear of being judged for it? Though I don't really want to change it completely because this doesn't affect my life all that much but it would be nice to have some more self confidence and not wanting to hide it so much from people just because I don't want to be judged again. Also, does this point to any mental health disorder? Or is it common?

Hey Anon,

It's absolutely normal and very common to feel ashamed of certain things about ourselves because someone or some people in our past made us feel that way. I wouldn't necessarily attribute it to any mental disorder though because of how common this is. A lot of us are programmed to care about what other people think of us and will feel bad when something we think is normal to our lives seem strange to others and something to be made fun of or rejected for. This can potentially lead to the trauma response of people pleasing, however.

I'm so sorry that those people made fun of you though. Often times people will make fun of the things they don't understand, not because it's personal to you, but because they've never been in that situation or they don't have the mental capacity to try and put themselves there. I know it's hard not to take it personally, but I don't think you should feel ashamed or worried about the rejection again. I know it's hard to believe that people won't always laugh at you, but even if they do, remember that they don't understand your situation (and probably don't want to), so their response is to make fun of it. If people are going to laugh at you for something as insignificant as where you're from, then they're likely not people worth being around. One's location or living situation really shouldn't be a deciding factor in being friends, so if someone does place some sort of value on that, then they're not people you want to be around. Real friends won't care about those things. I know it's still a scary thing to talk about for you, but the more open and honest you are about it, the more you'll find more people to be accepting of it or won't even think twice about it. Those will be the people worth being around and having as friends.

In my experience, openly communicating your feelings about why you're keeping it private can help in the long run whenever the question or subject comes up again. Even just saying being honest about how people judged you in the past might help to prepare both you and them, mentally. The more you avoid it though, the harder it'll be to overcome the fear of judgment.

Let me know if you have any questions :)

[ultra-maha-us]

Journey Secrets for Successful Supplying, a Complete Wardrobe and a Carefree Vacation

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2. Save yourself several bucks and prevent plane lag by loading several bags of salted insane and a litre of water for the flight. You lose in regards to a quart of water for every single time you are in flight. Snack on insane and consume a lot of water. You'll occur sensation much better!

3. Here is a good place keeping journey secret, one which won't only save place in your single carry-on, but additionally time going right through customs. Additionally, you will not have to manage an overflowing bottle of wash or apply deodorant. When you package, your investment toiletries. Such things are available, global, unless you are traveling to the Amazon rain forest. Just grab these necessaries whenever you arrive.

4. Do package your own first-aid box, but only with essentials. When you have prescription medications you need to take, work with a plastic box with a snap-shut top exclusively for these items. That strategy creates a straightforward pass through examination in methods and offers you ready use of meds you truly need.

5. That journey secret might seem mundane, but becomes essential if that you don't approach ahead. For some peculiar purpose, washcloths are sometimes deemed unwanted, actually at a 2-star hotel. Bunch several those micro-fiber all purpose cloths, just in case.

6. Unless you are willing to cover additional baggage, the space in your single carry-on are at a premium. Wear your favorite items of jewellery and have some fun shopping for a few new parts in your trip. In the event that you carry every thing you have, where will you package those certain new buys?

7. Purchase a small plastic box with a snap-shut top to include things such as pens, a journal, post-its, mini-flashlight or an iPod. Compartmentalizing such journey things also makes it easy to whiz through customs.