#Snipey look out Spy is right behind you

[seahdalune]

[lu-undy]

(it is me, sad boi)

Prehaps Spy is coming home from work, it was absolutely horrid, people were mean to him, he got yeeted down the stairs. And he really wants to cry.

But good ol snipey steps in and lets him cry, but doesn't let him do anything bad to himself? 🥺

Here it is!

“Frenchie! You dishonored this entire unit!” Soldier exclaimed at his colleague as he entered the resupply room.

“Bloody hell, Spy, why didn’t you sap that sentry?” Demo opened a wide eye.

“Yeah, Spy, you useless, d’you - Argh?!”

A blade had flown to the wall an inch away from Scout’s eye, ending up planted on the wall of the resupply room.

The battles of the day had just ended in a loss and the mercenaries had regrouped in the respawn room. Spy ignored his colleagues and headed straight back to his quarters.

“Yeah, yeah, go back to your room and smoke your cigarettes till tomorrow!”

Sniper went to the blade and retrieved it from next to Scout’s head, taking the opportunity to tower the young man.

“What? What are you lookin’ at?” The Bostonian answered, looking up at his taller colleague.

The Aussie growled and took the blade in his pocket before turning away from Scout.

“Yeah, go back to your useless boyfriend! He didn’t do anythin’ right today and we lost cause of him - ARGH?!”

The kukri landed on the wall, where Spy’s blade was, and the door opened and closed again as the sound of Sniper’s heeled boots faded away.

There was a knock at the door with the knife symbol.

“Go to hell!”

“Spook.”

There was a second of silence.

“Spook, can I?”

Sniper didn’t hear Spy sigh and melt further down on his sofa, in front of the fireplace. He took the doorknob in his hand and slightly twisted it. He gently pushed the door and entered. 

“Spook? You left your door unlocked?” 

It was unusual enough to be mentioned. As Sniper entered, he locked it, for his and Spy’s peace of mind and came next to his lover. He removed his hat and aviators that he put on the coffee table and took a seat next to his lover. 

"Hey…" 

No answer from Spy and Sniper noticed the bottle of wine in his hand, the disheveled looks, the tie, half-undone and the lock of hair sticking out of his mask. 

"Luv'?" 

Spy took a deep breath and sighed. 

"Go away." 

"What? Spook-"

"Go. Away." 

Sniper sighed. 

"I'm not gonna let you get piss drunk on yer own." He took the bottle off of Spy's hand and took a generous gulp of it. "Oh, mate, that's a shite one." 

"It serves its purpose." 

"What?" 

"It makes the pain physical, that way it is much easier to heal." 

Spy was still not looking his lover in the eye and stared angrily at the dancing flames of the fireplace in front of him. He didn't feel their warmth.

"Here." Sniper passed him the bottle and it lasted for half an hour, maybe more. The bottle went from gloved hand to naked one, back and forth, until Sniper put it on the coffee table. There was still some wine left inside. 

"Spook?" 

"What?" 

"Don't listen to them. We lost as a team." 

Spy scoffed. 

"They are right. My inability to sap that sentry cost us the victory today. But what infuriates me is not that I did not succeed."

"What is it?" 

"The humiliation both from the enemy and my own team."

"What d'you mean?" 

"I have received more of the infamous jarate and mad milk today than in the past months combined." 

"Why?" 

"At first I thought it was a coincidence. But non. It turned out that the enemy Scout and Sniper had a bet going on, about who would cover me the most often in their atrocious fluids."

"Twisted bastards." 

"You use your jarate too." Spy said. 

"Yeah, but I don't just use it for humiliation. I get the job done with it, and move on."

"Hm. Oui. Maybe. In any case, I was sent in a spiral of endless respawns. Each time I got within a few metres of the sentry, they would find me out by throwing their glass jars or bottles at me, before their Pyro would burn me to death. I can still smell their filth on me." 

"Then let's go and take a shower." Sniper suggested.

"Non." 

"Right, you know what? Keep bein' grumpy, I'll make you take a shower." 

"What?!"

"C'mere." Sniper pulled his colleague out of the sofa and dragged him to his private bathroom. He turned the shower on and closed the door. 

"Sniper, this is ridiculous."

"You're bein' ridiculous too. Now, shush and let me do the right thing for you." Sniper undressed his lover and pulled the shower curtain open. "Come on, chop, chop." 

"Non."

"Spy, you're standin' here, naked and you'll catch a cold. Get in there, oh?" 

Spy bent forward until his head bumped Sniper's chest. He raised his hands and clung on to him. 

"I have been such a failure today." 

"No, what're you talkin' about? You weren't alone eh? Demo or Soldier could have taken the sentry out if Medic had popped on them. God knows what the nurse was up to. I was bullied relentless by the bastard in a suit."

"Am I… a bastard in a suit?"

"No. Not you. You're… You're everythin'." He laced his arms around the slim frame of the naked, sad Frenchie. 

"Mundy?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Don't let go of me." He asked, clinging to his work shirt, and the Aussie smiled, albeit sadly. 

"It's alright… I've got you…" 

"M-Mundy… I am tired… I am so, so tired…" He pushed his head deeper in his lover's chest. 

"I know, love, I know. But I'm here, eh? It's just one of those days."

"Stay with me, please, don't leave me." 

"I won't, I won't." Mundy slipped his hand in his lover's greasy hair and brushed the salt and pepper locks back. He bent his head down to drop his lips on his lover's forehead and Spy closed his eyes, arching his eyebrows up, pleadingly. "Look at you, you fragile thing… Get in the shower and wash yerself, you'll see, you'll feel better afterwards." 

"Non…" 

"C'mon, listen to me, now."

Spy opened his eyes and looked up at Sniper. 

"Come with me." 

"In the shower?" 

Spy nodded.

"I don't want to let go of you. Everything feels so… empty, without you." 

Mundy smiled. 

"Right, let me get out of my clothes."

"May I help?" 

"O'course." 

With four hands on his clothes, Mundy got out of his clothes very fast. As soon as he finished, Spy, or Lucien in the intimacy, latched onto him. 

"Hey, now… Are you alright?" 

The Frenchman nodded, his head still against his chest. Mundy pulled him under the shower head and closed the shower curtain. 

"Here we go. Now, which one's your fancy shampoo again…?" He asked, looking at the bottles. 

Lucien just enjoyed the hot water trickling down his head and his lover's body. He felt Mundy's fingers work in his hair and soon, the foam came to his ears, deafening him. He closed his eyes and waited for a while. Mundy was washing his own hair and then, he pulled his lover under the water again and rinsed it all away from him. Next came the shower gel. 

"Love, I gotta unstick you, hold on."

"Non…!" Lucien held his lover harder, digging his fingers behind his back. Mundy chuckled. He loved Lucien as much as he did Spy. The only difference was that Spy would hide Lucien's sensitivity and softness under a thick mask of arrogance and cold-bloodedness. But Mundy knew it, the Frenchman would show his vulnerable side only to him, and he loved that.

"Please, sweet thing, I promise I won't be long."

"Make it quick." 

Mundy spread the shower gel on his lover and Lucien mirrored him on his tall lover. In the end, Mundy took a bit of foam on the tip of his index finger and tapped the tip of Lucien's nose with it. The Frenchman pulled his nose back and his eyes crossed on the foam hanging there, making Mundy laugh. 

"You look like a clueless kitten." 

Lucien grimaced and Mundy pulled his chin with one hand before kissing his lips. When he withdrew, Lucien pushed himself to the tip of his toes for more. 

The shower and the entire bathroom were in a thick fog of steam. 

"Right, let's get out now, yeah?" 

"Non." 

Mundy stopped the water running. 

"You gonna say 'non' to everythin' I say?" 

"Oui."

"At least, that one is a 'oui'." 

They stepped out of the shower and dried themselves off before heading to Spy's bedroom. 

"Here, that's your fancy pyjamas…" Mundy threw a shirt and a pair of trousers to his lover. "And that's my boxer shorts." He slipped them on.

Lucien joined him in bed and curled in his arms. The Aussie wrapped his arms around him and let his fingers lazily brush the Frenchman's silky, wet hair. 

"You feel better?" 

"Oui. Merci." 

"There we go, then. Forget about everythin', I'm here with you." Mundy adjusted the blanket around them both. 

"I… I felt terrible about myself."

"I know." 

"But somehow you manage to pull me out of these fits of… of powerful distress." 

"You're bein' dramatic."

"I am being in love." Lucien shut his eyes.

"Pfff, c'mere…" Mundy chuckled and left a kiss on his lover's brow before rolling to his back, Lucien lying on top of him. 

"Mundy?" 

"Yes, Lu'?" 

Lucien raised his head and looked down at his lover with a smile. 

"Thank you." 

"No worries."

"Non, really, I am in your debt." 

"You're bein' dramatic again, luv'." Mundy tapped the tip of his lover's nose with a grin. 

"I cannot help it."

"I know, I love you for that, and the rest." 

Lucien bent to push his lips on Mundy's and they melted in a nap, the Aussie's arms around his lover, while Lucien nuzzled in the hollow of his neck.