#Single Review: Desperately Free

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares Hypnotic "Desperately Free"

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares Hypnotic "Desperately Free" @westernvinyl @pitchperfectpr

Luke Temple is a singer/songwriter, visual artist, producer and creative mastermind behind the genre-defying recording project Art Feynman. Up until recently, Art Feynman has been strictly a solo thing, a way for Temple to explore surprising sonic landscapes without the burdens of identity. However, his forthcoming Art Feynman album Be Good The Crazy Boys changes that quite a bit: Recorded live…

[monst]

Day 2: Temptation!

Spit roast | Dick Grayson

Warnings: 18+ content (MDI) Female Reader, Spitroasting, Oral. M receiving Strangers, Hair pulling, Exhibitionism, Slight voyeurism, kinda free use, Deep throating, V. Masturbation, Praise, He calls you pretty, and Unsafe sex. 

WC: 1.9k

    His limbs ached. His muscles were taut, strained from a long day at both jobs. Honestly, he was craving a shower, his blankets and pillows. Maybe a quick dinner before? He was still setting up his plan when he reached the metal grate of the fire escape. He scaled down the steps to his floor, he was just about to pass his next-door neighbor's window. Mind whirling with thoughts of the quickest ways to undo all the traps on his… He stared at the street lamp ahead. 

    No. He was seeing things. Surly? He let out a breath, muscles relaxing as he backtracked a few steps to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. Because his neighbor, his shy, sweet, and unassuming neighbor was not doing what his eyes saw her doing. Back at his neighbor's window, he didn’t even have to squint. The breath was knocked out of him, his translucent reflection on the pane showed him the widening of his lenses. 

     Dick thought you were cute. You know in the girl-next-door type of way. Attractive in the sense that when his friends would come over they’d mention ‘Your neighbor’s hot’. Hot wasn’t the word that came to his mind when you’d knock on his door to give him mixed mail, a bashful smile on your lips. Adorable fit you best. Pretty if he was being honest. But, right now. Right now you looked downright sinful. He felt his throat dry at the sight before him. Shame threatening to turn him away only for your salacious moans to draw him back in like a siren to a sailor.

     He wondered if you had a boyfriend. But the way you were fucking yourself onto your dildo had him reviewing all he knew about you. As far as he was aware you were single and in quite desperate need of some Dick. Or maybe he was the one who was in desperate need of something warm and tight. It’s probably why he hadn’t looked away. His eyes were rapt with attention, and his intense gaze focused on your toy's glossy sheen. The way it disappeared between your slick folds. Pressing deep and hitting all of the best spots, he assumed. At least it looked like it was. 

    Your hands were on your knees, your brows furrowed in pleasure as you pressed back against the slippery cock. The suction cup keeps it firm against the wall, allowing you to cry out with every reckless grind. Oh, his friends were right, you were really hot. Or was sexy the better word? Your complexion was glistening due to effort, your lips soft from being bitten, and your alluring eyes were calling out to him. No, not for him his thoughts supplied and guilt threatened to bubble up but your hands left your knees to knead at your breasts. The soft tissue moves in tandem with your thrusts. Hypnotic. 

    You probably felt amazing with how well you were bouncing on the silicone. He could tell. You were definitely someone who just needed it bad. Was he projecting? Was it getting hotter? He could feel the tight material of his suit strain against his bulge. His dick cubbing up faster than he could think. Oh, All his blood flew south for the winter that’s why he couldn’t think. Think? What was there to think about anyway? Your moans were muffled through the glass. He wondered if the thin walls would allow him to hear you clearer. Surely you wouldn’t mind him using your voice to get off. He’d prefer to use your pussy or maybe your mouth since your greedy cunt was busy squelching against the thick dildo. He’d have to make do with your voice and his memory. 

     It was just his luck that your eyes met when he began to move his feet. Your lidded gaze stopped him in place, your fucked out face more enticing now that you were focused on him. He felt the first tendrils of remorse, but before they could lap at his brain you were opening your mouth. His jaw dropped. His slutty neighbor had just invited Nightwing inside. He wasn’t thinking straight, he wondered if you were when you asked him if he ‘Wanted to come in?’ Why should he deny one of Bludhaven’s citizens his help? …He did lock the window for good measure. 

    “Look at you.” He breathed. Eyes raking down your form, you moaned beautifully for him as you continued to hump the blue toy. He ran his fingers down your sweaty forehead, trailing down the side of your face to your lips. He barely had a moment to trace them when you took his fingers into your mouth, your tongue curling around the digits lasciviously. When you finally release him, the blue of his fingerstripes are glossy. His breath stutters out as he holds them to the soft lamp light. 

     His teeth catch his bottom lip as he takes you in, his cock throbbing in time with your needy pants. You whine up at him, tears lining your eyes as you stare at the large print of his cock just out of reach. His palms cup your face, the rough pads of his gloves tilting your head up. “You’re so pretty.” He hums. “You like that? Being called pretty?” 

      You moan in approval, your hand making a grab at his muscular thighs. He’s staring at your lips, entranced with how your saliva makes them shine. He throws his head back when you press your palm down on his hard-on. God, it’s been so long. He lets you mouth at the waterproof fabric, your pink tongue pressing against him. The cute kitten licks you give him through his suit leave his brain empty. But sadly the material doesn’t allow him to feel it and he’s swiftly remedying that. Years of muscle memory help him quickly undo the top of his suit. 

     He steps forward once the material is just under his perky ass. You waste no time in pressing your face into his jock-strap. Your hot tongue runs up the protective cup. His fingers thread through your hair and he pulls you back gently by your roots. Your eyes are hazy he notes.  “You're just cock-hungry aren’t you?” He coos. 

     “Please” You gasp. He shudders, lava swirling in his veins as he takes in your utterly fucked-out expression. The way you lick your swollen lips, teary eyes crossing to stare down at his crotch. He hears your pussy squelch against the toy and lets you have what you’re craving. Your pretty eyes blink up at him in thanks he assumes. Your fingers make quick work of the strap and he sucks in a breath when you let the meat of his cock rest against your face. 

    “Jesus.” He huffs. You were really something. He committed the sight to memory allowing your scorching tongue to run up the length of his shaft, the pink muscle curls underneath the head, flicking up to lick his slit. “Mhm fuck, Got a mouth on ya” 

    You hum, the vibrations shooting up his dick, electric shocks going up his spine and tensing his back and tightening his balls. Your nails dig into his thighs as you pull him closer. The wet kisses you leave down the sides of his cock let his grip on your hair turn lax. He purrs when you trail down a vein. Breath hitching when the wet heat of your mouth closes over his right ball. He whines when you release him. He feels your left-hand grip onto the material of his suit while your right comes to squeeze the flushed base of his cock. He was quickly coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t going to last very long.

      You wrap your pretty lips around his head and take him in. He’s trying not to buck into you, but you seem to take more of him with each bob. The grip he has on your scalp stops you from taking him any further. Nightwing’s brows furrow when he slips from your mouth. He meets your cute glare with a confused frown. “I wanna choke on it.” He wonders if you heard his breath catch. 

     “Can I?” You ask sweetly, your hand pumping his slick cock. 

     “Of course.” He grins down at you. He briefly wonders if your thighs are sore, but when the head of his cock reaches the apex of your throat he drops the thought. He feels your hand leave his cock in favor of clutching onto the hard muscles of his butt. He hears you gag and his eyes roll back. His hips buck, more of him sliding down into your throat. He enjoys the flex of your throat before he feels your preemptive retreat and his grip on your hair tightens. He holds you till you settle “Good girl keep breathing through your nose for me.” 

      He’s greedy. He knows it when he sees the two inches of his cock still sitting out of your slick mouth. “Can you take more?” He pants “All of it.”  And, when your nose is finally pressed against his pelvis his hands smooth over your hair 

    “Doing so good for me.” He purrs. When he pulls his hips back you try to chase him. He laughs. “Not going anywhere baby, gonna fuck your hot mouth like you asked” 

     When he thrusts back into your mouth he’s greeted by your rolling eyes. Drool drips down the corner of your lips and onto the floor as he fucks your throat. He feels you whine and his hips stutter. His thrusts are pushing you against the dildo harder, at an intensity you hadn’t managed. He’s barely allowing you air and your dildo is pressing right up against your sweet spots. His fingers scratch at your scalp as he snaps his hips into your face. His salacious moans echo over the wet paps. 

      He’s close, and god you're so pretty. Your teary eyes drip as much as your pussy as he abuses your throat. Your lashes are clumped together and he's got a nice view of you grinding down on the toy. Slobbering all over his cock like a good fucking girl. Shit! The fact that you're getting off to this as much as he is... He groans, his eyes rolling as he spills into your mouth. It hits the back of your throat hot, thick, and copious and it spills down your bruised lips. He’s got to do this again with you. 

     Nightwing feels you swallow, your body trembling as you clench down on the blue toy, your sloppy pussy gushing onto your floor. “Fucking beautiful” He whimpers. Your knees weaken and he’s too stunned to catch you. “Oh! sorry.” His fingers brush your tears away as you come down from your high. The rough pads of his gloves were surprisingly gentle against your face. And when you finally sit up he speaks. 

    “Sorry, I didn’t warn you.” he hands you the glass from atop your dresser. “It’s been a while.” He adds. You take slow sips, your hazy eyes watching as he slips his suit back up his scarred body. Once he’s done he beams down at you. You’re caught off guard when he helps you up from the floor and begins to clean up. You can’t see his eyes when he comes back to wipe the slick from your thighs and pussy and he’s grateful for it because suddenly he’s parched. 

   “Do you mind if I come back some other time?” You nod happily a smile on your blissed-out face. Dick matches your grin, he’ll come back to his senses soon- 

    “Yeah, but bring your own condoms” Your voice was shot.-But not now, Hnnng would he be pushing it if he asked for one more round? He’d return the favor no problem! His mouth was cotton just thinking of it. Your drippy cunt quenching his thirst!? He’ll ask.

Kinktober2024|Masterlist

[thecharacterchronicler]

Perform || Coriolanus Snow x Reader || Smut

Outline: You get married to Coriolanus Snow, a powerful man that you don’t even know, and try to adjust to your new life as his wife.

Word count: 3’500

Warnings: Arranged marriage, explicit smut and probably a few mistakes here and there because English isn’t my first language.

Author’s note: This may or may not be a prequel to There Will Come A Ruler. I’m not sure it fits all the details as it wasn’t planned but inspiration suddenly struck me so here it is.

The room went dead silent as soon as you passed the threshold, numerous pairs of eyes turning to stare at you. There wasn’t a single familiar face among the men standing around the large desk, previously hunched over a pile of papers. You knew that they would never be able to tell how intimidated you felt under their severe gazes, you knew how to fake confidence better than anyone… However, two pale blue eyes seemed to be staring right into your soul, as if he knew.

“Great timing, we just finalized the contract.” One of the older man in a suit said, seemingly wanting to break the cold silence that weighted heavily on your shoulders. You nodded without a word, approaching the desk, coming to a stop next to the youngest man, the one with the unsettling eyes.

You turned your head to look at him more closely and his eyes darted away instantly, landing on a distant object at the opposite side of the office. He stood straight, his head held high and his arms crossed behind his back, impassible.

When you entered the room, he seemed to be radiating with light in the darkness of the office, surrounded by men in boring black suits while his was made out of an immaculate white fabric. Combined with the paleness of his skin and his carefully combed back blond curls, he resembled the image of an angel you had seen on a very ancient painting once. But his indifference towards you, and the icy stare he gave you, made it clear that you wouldn’t find solace in him.

“I reviewed the contract at your family’s request and made sure everything is in your best interest.” The man who had spoken to you already said again, handing you the very last page of the pile of documents on the table and an elegant pen to sign it with.

You didn’t doubt that the lawyer your family had hired was competent and probably too scared by them to dare make a mistake while establishing a contract in your name with an army of other lawyers in the room but you still felt compelled to take a look at the full file in front of you, ignoring the pen he was still holding for you to take.

Maybe it was a desperate attempt to gain time on your part more than a necessity to double check the terms and conditions of the agreement you were meant to sign but, as you glanced towards the man in white, you were pretty sure you saw the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, although he was still determined to not look at you directly.

Some clauses written on the paper seemed reasonable, others were more restrictive and some downright affected your freedom and free will but you knew you wouldn’t be able to negotiate anything better. You wouldn’t dare try anyway, everyone had been telling you what a privilege it was for you and what an honor it was for your family to be offered such an opportunity. Even in the high society of the Capitol, it didn’t happen often for a girl who had just graduated from the Academy to secure such an interesting match. It was even more rare that such a match didn’t require to be seduced in order to arrange a marriage...

“Everything seems in order.” You finally said, after taking your time to read each paragraph of the contract, ignoring the lawyers’ growing frustration and impatience around you.

“I can attest that it is.” The one lawyer meant to be on your side confirmed and, even if you felt the urge to tell him that he could have done better - or at least come to an agreement that wouldn’t force you to produce heirs in a few years - you quietly nodded, taking the pen he was offering you and writing your name at the bottom of the last page.

You paused for a moment, admiring your handwriting in black ink, a small gesture that sealed your future.

It was a privilege. An honor. One that you couldn’t refuse.

You took a step back and turned to the man in white, handing him the pen. He took it without looking at you, hunching his tall frame over the desk to sign his name next to yours in elegant calligraphied letters.

Coriolanus Snow.

You managed to take a deep but silent breath, the implications of the contract you had both signed downing on you. Your life was about to change forever, you’d have to leave your home, your family, everything and start a whole new life, with a man you didn’t even know. He was a complete stranger to you, all you knew about him was that he was the youngest head game maker for the Hunger Games in history, the protégé of Doctor Gaul herself and that, as if it wasn’t enough already, he had announced that he’d be campaigning to become the next president of Panem.

“Well, I hope you’ll be satisfied with the agreement, Mrs Snow.” Your lawyer said, but you didn’t realize right away that you were the one he was addressing, your new last name sounding foreign.

You forced a smile at him, watching as all the men slowly walked out of the office, leaving you on your own with your new husband. A shiver ran down your spine as the door closed behind them, a cold breeze caressing your skin. Coriolanus finally turned to face you, his icy eyes staring into your soul once again.

“I’ll meet you at the altar in three days.” He declared, emotionless. You quietly nodded, too intimidated to say a word. You knew that - much like the official documents you had signed already making you his wife - your wedding ceremony would be nothing like you envisioned it to be.

Time flew by after that. You had spent it feeling mostly overwhelmed by the amount of things you were expected to do before the ceremony. You had to pack your belongings, decide what you’d take with you to your husband’s manor and what could be left behind, attend various appointments meant to get you to beauty base zero before your very public wedding and - even if you didn’t have a say in the preparations - you still had to make sure everything would look flawless on the big day, including yourself.

Your family’s chauffeur drove you to the venue early in the morning where a team of people were ready to take care of your hair, nails and makeup and would help you get into the gorgeous white dress that was selected for you by your new husband and his own team. You watched as your reflection kept changing in the mirror in front of you, making you look like a glamorous bride… The only thing missing to such a perfect portrait was a genuine glint of happiness in your eyes.

Once you were ready to face the crowd of onlookers, news reporters and photographers posted outside the venue - hoping to catch a glimpse of the newlyweds on their way out after the ceremony - the people who had prepared you left, leaving you on your own in the luxurious suit, barely recognizing the person facing you in the mirror.

The short hour before the ceremony felt like agony, your hands shaking in fear of not being good enough to live up to everyone’s expectations and your chest constricted with anxiety. You couldn’t help but wonder what people would think of you when they’ll see you in your bridal attire. Would they think you were a good match for a man as important as Coriolanus Snow ? See you as worthy to potentially become the First Lady of Panem ? Would they think you were a cute couple, or see you as an ill match ? And what about him ? Would he find you beautiful when you’ll walk down the aisle to him ?

A firm knock on the door saved you from drowning in your anxious thoughts. You were expecting your family’s lawyer to come by and give you a few advices on how to live your new life without inadvertently breaking some of the terms of the contract you had signed. You also knew the wedding organizer would show up to give you a few pointers for the ceremony and your public appearance after it…

But, when you opened the door, a surprised gasp escaped your lips. Coriolanus was devastingly handsome in a tailored white suit, more fitting and luxurious than the one he wore when you had met him three days earlier. There wasn’t a single strand of his blond hair out of place, not a trace of dark circles under his blue eyes while your team had spent almost an entire hour trying to conceal yours after the sleepless nights you had had.

He smiled at you in a way you weren’t certain was genuine and held up a huge bouquet of white roses, tied together by a blood red satin ribbon. You understood it was yours to walk down the aisle with, the flowers matching the one pinned to the lapel of his jacket.

“Thank you.” You said, as you took the flowers. He was looking at you without any hint of admiration in his gaze, as if the hours your team had spent on your hair and makeup and the expensive wedding gown you were wearing didn’t affect him at all. As if he still couldn’t care less about you… “I’ve heard it’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.”

He huffed a mocking laughter at your words.

“Good thing we’re already legally married then.” He countered, the reminder adding to the panic in the pit of your stomach. “This ceremony is just meant to give them a good show.”

You knew that, of course. It was your duty - as his wife - to publicly appear by his side and pretend that you were overjoyed about it all. You were meant to help him build a flawless reputation so that he may eventually become president one day and you knew that his popularity was determined by how much the people could relate to him, or at least feel included in parts of his life. Soon, you’d be introduced to them as Mrs Snow and you couldn’t afford to mess up.

You turned around to place the beautiful - but surprisingly heavy - bouquet of roses on the vanity, hearing the door closing behind your back. When you looked over your shoulder, he was standing behind you, clearly expecting something from you although you weren’t sure what.

It was the first time you were fully alone with him, in such proximity to each other, and his intimidating posture added to the way his eyes darkened when they met yours made you feel quite weary, as if you were suddenly in some kind of imminent danger.

“Now turn around so I can make sure you’re ready.” He demanded, his voice slightly lower than usual.

You obeyed without a word, slowly spinning around twice as you felt the weight of his analyzing stare on you, making your body tingle with an odd electric sensation. Once you were face to face with him again, you couldn’t tell if he was satisfied or not by the way you looked, his expression serious and unreadable. A heavy silence lingered between you as you desperately hoped to hear a few words of affirmation to boost your confidence a bit… He didn’t say any but he took a step closer, his face closer to yours than what would be deemed acceptable between two strangers. He pushed a strand of hair away from your forehead, his eyes briefly plunging into yours before his hand traveled down to your mouth. He traced your lips with his thumb, fading out your lipstick slightly.

“I hope you paid attention to the wedding night clause on our contract.” He spoke, almost in a whisper. “Because as soon as we’ll be done performing for the crowd, I’m going to make you mine.”

Your body shuddered in response, and you weren’t quite sure if it was because it made you nervous or if because such a promise actually excited you somehow. You didn’t have time to think about it anyway, another knock on the door forcing you apart. The wedding organizer announced that the ceremony was about to start, forcing Coriolanus out of your suite, visibly oblivious to the tension that tainted the atmosphere between you. You took a deep breath to compose yourself, grabbed your bouquet and folllwed them out, ready to perform.

You spent the whole ceremony in a daze, not quite realizing what was happening or what anyone was saying. But you still managed to say the one thing everyone expected of you; I do. You smiled as the crowd erupted in cheers, made sure to keep your eyes open despite the blinding flashing lights of the cameras on you and took the time to greet everyone of importance that was in attendance that day. When your new husband had to kiss you in front of hundred of curious faces staring at both of you, he did it softly and chastely which almost felt a bit disappointing considering the authority and confidence he had spoken with earlier. But it sure was a cute picture for the tabloids.

You returned to the mansion he owned in the most expensive and luxurious area of the Capitol and were showed to your new bedroom by a maid, noting how your belongings had already been unpacked and organized to make you feel at home. It was only after she helped you out of your wedding gown and into a more practical and relaxed dress that you realized that this bedroom was yours and yours only. There wasn’t a single item that looked like it could belong to your new husband, none of his clothes in the dressing room, none of the products he put on his hair to keep them perfectly combed back throughout the day in the bathroom. And, even though this man was still a complete stranger to you, you still felt a hint of disappointment at the realization that he wasn’t planning on spending any of his time with you if none of his potential supporters could witness it.

He still had been thoughtful enough to ask another one of his employees to deliver a black box to your bedroom, an unexpected wedding present. You opened it as soon as you were all alone and your eyes widened in shock, discovering some lingerie made out of the thinnest and softest lace you ever touched. It was a gorgeous set that complimented your skin tone so well, it almost looked like it had been made specifically for you.

You tried the pieces on, surprised to see how each of them fitted you perfectly and comfortably. However, even if you felt pretty good in your new lingerie, you felt too awkward to go find your husband with nothing else on, so you pulled your dress back over the lace, hiding everything from view, before you walked out of your bedroom, determined to find Coriolanus in the huge mansion you now shared with him.

You easily found him downstairs, sitting on a teal sofa in front of a modern chimney. He was reading with his ankle resting on top of his knee. He looked up to you as soon as you stepped into the living room, immediately folding his newspaper to give you his full attention.

“Is your new bedroom at your convenience ?” He asked, politely.

“Absolutely.” You replied, nervously fidgeting with your hands as you stood in front of him. “And thank you for the wedding present.”

“Does it fit you ?”

“Yes, perfectly.”

“Take off your clothes then.” He demanded, and you wondered how he managed to sound so intimidating despite sitting down and you, towering over him.

“Here ? Now ?” You exclaimed, looking around for house employees.

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” He declared, unwavering. “So take them off or I will.”

You did as he requested, nervously removing your casual dress so that you stood in nothing but your new lingerie in front of him. His icy gaze roamed your body from head to toe, his expression still too closed off to tell if he liked what he saw or not.

He stood up, bringing his hand to your chest and tracing the outline of the lace over your breast with a finger. Goosebumps rose on your skin in reaction, your heart beating faster so close to where he was touching you.

“Turn.” He commanded and you obeyed, feeling slightly more confident in this perfectly fitting set than you did in your wedding dress. You felt his hands on your body again, tugging the lower part of the ensemble down your thighs agonizingly slowly. Did it mean he didn’t like it ? Or was he simply curious to see what was underneath the thin lace fabric ? “Lie down.”

He gestured to the couch he was sitting on a minute ago. You followed his command, your head resting on a soft satin pillow and your knees pulled back to you to leave him enough room to join you. He sat down, fully removing the piece of underwear around your thighs and you shivered when he pushed your knees apart, once again analyzing your body with a critical gaze.

He leaned forward and you gasped when you felt the warmth and wetness of his tongue between your folds, tracing a few circles around your clit before moving down to your entrance. He sat back straight, an amused grin on his face as he licked his glistening lips and took in the shocked expression on your face.

“I needed to know how my wife tastes.” He explained, your body tingling with excitement. He opened up his trousers, pulling his long and hard erection out. Your eyes widened, taking in his size, which seemed to amuse him yet again. “You can take it.”

He sounded pretty confident about that but you weren’t so sure. You didn’t get the chance to protest though, because he immediately moved to align himself up with your entrance and pushed his tip through it without hesitation.

You gasped at the burning sensation, your fingers tightening around the edges of the couch. A satisfied groan rumbled in his throat as he kept pushing himself in, inch by inch until he was fully buried inside you and you couldn’t remember how to breathe correctly.

It wasn’t as pleasant to you as it seemed to be to him at first, your walls still stretching to accommodate his girth and length while he took advantage of the tighteness ensnaring him to push himself as deeply as he could.

It was too much. Way too much. But, just as you considered asking him to pause, suddenly your body stopped resisting him, welcoming him instead, allowing his cock to slide back and forth in rythym with the way he rolled his hips against you, causing a warm and tingly sensation to bubble up deep in your core.

You looked at him, holding himself above you with his strong arms on each side of the couch, his muscles carved under his pale skin. A blond lock of hair bouncing against his forehead in synch with his movements and his eyes were glued to yours, attentive to how your traits changed each time he modified the pace of his thrusts.

Soon, it felt like too much again, but in a good way. You felt close to imploding from how good it felt to have him hitting inside you at a relentless rythym.

You turned your head to the side, hoping the pillow would help silence your moans, worried that every employee in the mansion might hear the uncontrollable sounds of pleasure that kept resonating inside the living room.

“Look at me.” He immediately ordered, not waiting for you to obey as his hand flew to your face, turning your head so that you’d face him again. His fingers then dropped lower, wrapping around your neck, causing the whimpers escaping from your mouth to sound a lot more desperate. “I want to see what you’ll look like when you’ll come as I’ll fill you up.”

A few more thrusts of his hips, his tip hitting the perfect spot inside of you and you felt your whole body contracting intensely, your core tightening around him as you cried out in pleasure, closing your eyes and your mouth dropping open in shock at the intensity of the wave of sheer bliss that ran through your whole body.

“So beautiful.” He commented, his eyes fixed on you in genuine admiration this time. His labored breaths got louder and he climaxed, his erection throbbing as it spurt out a load of hot cum deep inside you.

♡ - (( Tip Jar )) - ♡

[buggybambi]

Ooo if you’re still looking for request ideas, I have one!!

Can I please request a Carmy x fem!single Mom!reader where Y/n is new to Chicago and is looking for somewhere to eat with her two year old daughter, and she finds The Beef/The Bear. She’s super exhausted and has her hands full, and also trying to order when her daughter runs into the kitchen before Y/n can grab her, Y/n running back to get her but Carmy gets to her daughter first and picks her up. Y/n would be sooo mortified and apologizing so much, but Carmen is super sweet and comps her meal (much to her surprise) and the staff are super sweet with her daughter 🤧

Y/n frequently visiting the restaurant after that to eat and also see her fav, most adorable (hot) chef 🥹

haley baby | carmen berzatto

thanks for requesting this! - not proofread - nav post - cw: mom/fem!reader, single!mom!reader

Being a single mother, you were used to the chaos that mornings brought. Being a single mom in a completely unfamiliar town was a new ballpark.

Your daughter, Haley, was in that stage of being picky with what she likes. Her favorite thing was French fries, and you happened to find (thanks to a quick online search) a spot with the “best fries in Chicago”, according to one review.

Well, dianeivans392, you would have to be the judge of that statement.

Haley had also been in the stage of running ahead of you. Baby pink sneakers stepping against the pavement as you jogged behind her, you guided her inside the sandwich shop. “You gotta stay by mama, okay?” You ask softly before you place in the order.

You should have known once you started paying your daughter would have taken the opportunity to run into the back. Letting out a small yelp, you hurriedly put your items back into your purse, prepared to be yelled at by whoever’s back there.

Instead, less then a minute later, a man comes out with Haley in his arms. She seems infatuated by him, watching his every movement. You don't blame her. Part of you wants to be worried because some random man has your child in his arms.

The other part of you, the part that swears his eyes are having a secret conversation with yours, tells that first part to pipe down.

"I'm so sorry about her, she's been in this phase of running and all the books say to just let her explore but they don't account for dangerous environments for a child, and I looked away for one second and-" your apologetic ramble was cut short by the man smiling. "It's okay. I don't mind, really." He hands Haley back over to you, holding his hand out. "I'm Carmen."

You shake his hand before focusing on your daughter, pushing some of her light blonde curls out of her face. "I'm Y/N." You're cautious. "Thanks for grabbing her." You say with a nod, and he smiles. “No worries. She seems fun.” He comments.

You laugh. “That doesn’t begin to describe her.” You comment, remembering the food you’re meant to pay for. You grab out your card, about to hand it to the guy behind the counter before Carmen clears his throat. He steps behind the counter, whispering something in the cashier’s ear. Hitting a few buttons on the register, the cashier gives you a smile as Carmen walks to the back. “Your food will be out soon.”

You stare at him, about to question what happened until the blue eyed .. stranger, guardian angel, whatever he seems to be, returns. A bag in hand, two boxes of fries in hand. “For you, m’lady.”

You look at the bag, shaking your head. “I can’t accept these for free, Carmen-”

“You are. I’m not offering, I’m telling you. Take them.” He insists. And you aren’t going to argue when he looks at you with this desperation in his eyes.

You thank him again and take the bag, adjusting your daughter on your hip.

──

From then on, you were one of the regulars. You’d let the other staff come and say hi to your daughter, even growing close with Natalie, Carmen’s sister, who fell in love with your daughter.

You celebrated a lot with them. Haley’s third birthday, they were in attendance. They were there when you got a promotion at work, when you needed someone’s shoulder to cry on.

Not to mention, you and Carmen were undeniably flirting with each other everytime you spoke. It wasn’t a shock when he asked you on a date - a date that consisted of him cooking for you in your apartment while Haley slept in her bedroom.

[ghostchems]

Raphael teasing a naughty little mouse 🐭 (if you feel up to it!)

a/n: here we aaaare. a lil suggestive but nothing too spicy i think :) raphael is just... a stinker. but ya know what maybe mouse also is kinda stinky. so uhhhhh... about 700 words of stinky.

There’s not much stopping you from lunging across his desk and grabbing him by the chin to force him to look you in the eye — to finally give you the attention you’ve been so desperately craving. He hasn’t looked up at you once or acknowledged your presence in any way since you strolled into The Archive. Which is cruel in itself because of the big todo that was made to announce he was coming Home. The organs rang out through the House of Hope, the lights dimming in every single room and the debtors working themselves into a tizzy over it. And then he appeared without fanfare, sequestered in a nook to review paperwork from the looks of it.

Raphael has been gone for sometime and as one of his pets you haven’t been played with in a while. Most of his toys wait for him to come to them, but not you. You’re special to him. Or at least, you think you are. The two of you have a past that spans several world-ending threats, battles with a deranged cult and other side quests, some of which Raphael came to you himself to deliver. He always enjoyed the fire in your blood, the way you spoke your mind and didn’t give in so easily to him. Now, you’re enjoying your retirement with him in a twisted turn of events.

But you don’t mind. Your past lets you get away with things most of his pets don’t.

You find yourself sitting at one of his many organs, perfectly in view from his desk. Fingers tap on the fine, smooth wood, eyes fixed on him. Lips twitch into a sly smile before putting both forearms onto the keys.

BWWWAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!

Rage filled eyes fixate on you and you’re practically able to see the smoke coming from his ears. Makes you smile even wider.

“Here. Now.” His voice booms through the Archive, echoing from every corner. You obediently get up from the organ but take your time striding over to him. Raphael’s glares at you, eyes never leaving you and while you should be worried by his anger you can’t help but feel exhilarated. Finally — you have his attention.

“Took you long enough to — ah!” A strong hand grabs you by your waist and pulls you into his lap while his other hand snatches the back of your neck. You will never not be rendered speechless by his mere strength. Thumb presses just beneath your ear, his golden gaze staring into where you soul should be.

“Missed me, did you, pet?” Nimble fingers stroke your upper thigh, leaning in so his nose brushes along yours. “Business comes first. You should know this better than anyone.” Warm breath on your lips, Raphael’s voice no more than a deep rumble. You’re on fire for him and lean in to get a taste. He tilts his head back, just out of reach, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Come on, Raphael.” You whine and try to press in closer. He grumbles, fingers inching ever so close to your inner thigh but he stops short.

“Whine all you want, mouse. I have work to do.” One last smoldering glance before his attention turns back to the papers in front of him, removing his hands from you. No, no, this won’t do. The ache between your legs is unbearable now, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded. You need him badly, so much that your immediate action is to snatch him by the collar of his doublet and wrench those caramel eyes back to you.

An animalistic growl rips from his throat, his nose scrunching in annoyance. You blink and he has your hands pinned behind you back and his forehead pressed into yours, so hard that it makes your ears ring.

“Behave.” Sharp and angry against your ear, his fangs scratching the sensitive skin. “Perhaps I’ll be generous enough to offer you some relief.” Another nip and he leans back, expression back to cool and calm but you see the slight blush in his cheeks. You squirm in his grasp but it’s futile to try to break free… so you give a deep, defeated sigh as Raphael’s attention turns back to his work.

Still, you find yourself smiling. You are most certainly still special to him.

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

So i ve done the main story in infinity nikki and im gonna stop playin now, before i squeeze the game dry of content and have nothing (new) to do on release.

Time for a lil review/thoughts post

I m not gonna review every single mechanic in the game, simply things that stood out to me or that i wanna talk about. I also wont add more images, i kinda want ppl to see the world for themselves... i ll share more when the game comes out tho.

There s a lot of text under this. Tldr, i like the game i think it's a solid, enjoyable experience with a good gameplay loop, the story isn't for me, and i'll keep playin of course. And u should try it too if ur device wont blow itself up tryin to run it.

Dress up

The bread and butter of Nikki games... it's good as usual. Game doesn't shy away from long skirts or coat tails or complicated ballgowns just cuz nikki can run and jump and dash now and i'm very happy bout that. There's some clipping issues once in a while, but it's nothing major and the clothes we do have in the game are lovely. There s an evolution system for some of the sets, which makes em a diff color.... usually they can evolve once, but i saw Three extra evolutions for one of the UR sets and that scares me. Bcs to evolve them u have to craft the suit again. So u have to pull 4 copies of a suit to max it out..

Combat

Game's definitely succeeding in its quest for being cozy. There's no real stakes, combat isn't difficult in the slightest but i do welcome it- super simple but it's pretty fun regardless. The boss fights were surprisingly creative and fun for what they are, it's just unfortunate that you have to do them more than once or twice (crafting mats)- but they do change what the boss does so it's different depending on what mat u are farming for... and u can claim double or triple or however much stamina u got-le of the mat after u complete it once. So that s rly nice.

Exploration

I actually think it's really really good. Again this isn't a difficult or complicated game, not yet i guess... but with the major goal being "get new clothes" and "take pretty pictures maybe", the open world feels actively engaging to participate in. There's collectibles everywhere, little challenges you can do that are diverse but quick, styling battles, collecting everythin from animals fur to bugs to fish, and allll of this brings u closer to that never ending goal of woo more clothes.

However even if a challenge doesnt give you a blueprint, it's still just. Really Nice to exist in this world. It's very whimsical, as expected of Lilith, and the world has a combination of realism and cartoon artstyle that is just soso appealing to me. It's genuinely how i would've imagined miraland to look in 3d. Shame it's not the same miraland we know..

Story

Hmm... silly is one word i could use for it. Cute also. The story isn't doin anythin bad per se, and i did start skippin dialogue near the end w the pieceys because i want to keep at least Some part of the story for the game's release... but i get the gist of it, and it s just not my thing.

It feels like a story made for children, and it definitely would get a G rating. Easy and simple to follow, there's moments of tension or sadness sure but with the antagonist bein a literal babie lookin cutey fairy with a grown man's voice, or the creatures that i'm interacting with are a bunch of. Fuckin weird lookin big eyed balls of fabric that look closer to plushies than somethin Alive... it's all so silly and dramatic sometimes i can t help but cringe.

Part of it is a me problem, if u just open ur heart and free urself from the cringe the story is fine. It's just a little too kiddy for me and i so desperately hope it won't stay like this forever. My prayers might be answered though, there's a whole war beyond the borders and we have refugees around... shit's lookin bad for Umbrosa.

Other things i noticed that i liked:

The effect on nikki's skin when it's raining, she actually has water dripping down her face... its so cool

Momo capes are actually kinda neat ngl. Especially cuz the fucker follows u around everywhere, at least i can bedazzle him

Npc models look really good im a fan. They do suffer from "everyone is very beautiful" syndrome, which makes some of the npc villains look/sound ridiculous, but they have kid-teen-adult-elderly versions of models (i never see teen models in these games! Its cool!) And some body variation. The grandmas look so lovely i cry

The dark skin tone is really dark, and it looks quite nice and natural.

The lighting engine in this game is just rly good in general. God bless UE5

The edges of the map where there s forest, which u obv cant go thru, the forest is made to be darker, thicker.... i m a huge fan of this idk y. It's not just *invisible wall in front of an open field* nopee cant go there lets explore that area later tee hee. And it looks good to boot.

Camera function is p robust, has more options for changin brightness/saturation/contrast etc which i feel Shining Nikki lacks.

Some of the creature designs are so good man i looove themm <3.... the pieces are awful tho. Ok creature design is a hit and miss sometimes but the stray hatty? Peak. All the weirdy fashionable animals? Peak.

Bein able to quick switch thru ur saved sets while in the overworld is real neat

Oke that was it. Bye

[the-descolada]

Spoiler-Free Advance Review:

Exordia by Seth Dickinson

I could not put this book down, my god. Staying up super late multiple nights because I couldn’t stop reading is such a great problem to have, and Exordia gave me that problem more than any book I’ve read in a few years.

This is a very different book than Baru, but Seth’s evocative prose and dark humor is familiar from page one, and the laser focus on defamiliarizing real world injustices is again the core of the work. Despite being far more immediate (Exordia is set during the Obama administration in our world, with an alternate history beginning from the moment the book starts), the heaviness of the topics never gets overwhelming. There’s some incredible (and extremely fitting) tonal dissonance here, with every perspective character having their own sense of disaffected humor about the apocalyptic situation they’ve been thrown into.

I described this to my friend after just starting as “if the Books of Sorrow were written with Gideon the Ninth’s tone and just straight up in our world,” and I think that remains true throughout. There’s a huge amount of references peppered in, and it helps maintain that lighter tone to balance the despair of what is essentially a doomsday clock ticking down throughout the book - and it helps keep things grounded, honestly. I never felt it took away from the gravity of things, or was unnatural - after all, if I, an early 21st century sci fi nerd, was thrown into some fucked up alien bioweapon mystery, it’s hard to say my first thought wouldn’t be “oh shit, this is just like the Andromeda Strain!”

Having seven (eight?) different protagonist (or deuteragonist, I don’t know which they qualify as) PoVs is pretty wild but works perfectly here. Every character has such a unique outlook that you can instantly figure out whose head you’ve popped into even before any identifying names or things are mentioned - Seth’s mastery of the tonally cohesive PoV shifts was something I had loved in Tyrant, especially, and they’re equally impressive here. The characters are lovable, hatable, and everything in between - and each as mentioned is so distinct and compelling that I can’t say there was a single character who I was unhappy to get into their head. And that’s saying something, given who some of these characters are, but I’ll leave the specifics a surprise. Predictably, my favorites were the dysfunctional autistic butch-femme lesbians, but I really loved all of them in the end.

The base premise is almost comical in how small it starts to how much it escalates - a cynical, disillusioned Kurdish genocide survivor, Anna Sinjari, meets a terrifying (and yes…very hot. I’m a simple woman) alien in Central Park, and this seemingly chance encounter sees her roped into a small group of scientists, soldiers, and her own mother in a desperate countdown to solve an otherworldly mystery and save their world. The twists and turns of the plot are intense, so engaging that I was bouncing up and down at times (there’s plenty of sci-fi insanity that I absolutely eat up), and tightly paced.

Seth seems to really enjoy writing ethical dilemmas to great effect, and Exordia is ruthless in that area, taking the base concept of the trolley problem and the moral justification for what someone would sacrifice for the greater good and carving it apart for narrative weight. What greater good does the sacrifice serve? Is it actually good? Who gets to make the choice, and do they have a choice but to make it? There’s a lot to dig into here, and Exordia is a four course meal.

One aspect of this simply taking place in our world, rather than being an alternate universe like Baru, is that the defamiliarized commentary is even more on the nose. Whereas Baru is a commentary on empire and homophobia as a whole, transparently pulling from primarily American history of genocide and imperialism to shape a culture unlike our own in many ways to defamiliarize this moral exploration, Exordia is just literally about real world American imperialism and enabling of genocide in the MENA region, primarily the ramifications of the military industrial complex’s usage of drone warfare and the extremist regimes armed and encouraged by “counterterrorism.”

All this sets the stage for the question of what happens when a bigger fish arrives, one just as hell bent on empire building and justifying its own atrocities. The sci-fi intervention into this banal evil is at the same time a reflection of that evil, and asking if the world has the capacity for resistance to both. Exordia’s answer is profound, and far from easy, but entirely fitting for the ethical dilemma that runs throughout the book, creeping up on you slowly as you start to recognize what shape it takes in this story.

The central material conflict of the book, a locked box mystery of sorts that you piece together with the characters, is fucked up and fun and scary, a reality shifting threat that treads the line between body horror, meta-narrative, and lovecraftian math. It’s extremely cool, and I think it’ll be right up the alley of fans of The Andromeda Strain, The Locked Tomb, The Books of Sorrow and other parts of Destiny lore, and a lot of other SFF stories where ethics, horror, and mystery mix together.

I don’t want to say too much about the climax and the ending - going into this book without knowing too much was an incredible experience that had me on the edge of my proverbial seat - but the ending left me asking myself some very similar questions as I had at the end of Traitor, and I cannot wait for a reread when the physical book is in my hands to see what little foreshadowed things I can pick up on.

I don’t think people are going to be quite as completely emotionally Destroyed at the ending of this one as Traitor, but…it is very much a Seth Dickinson book, and they have quite the talent for making every thread tie together at the end to make the reader feel every emotion at once and realize that this could never have gone any other way. I cried, I laughed, sometimes simultaneously, and a book that can do that to me is entirely worth the experience - and what an experience this was.

Absolutely fucking incredible, I want more of these characters and everything they’re wrapped up in, 10/10.

I received an ARC of this novel from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[spockanalia-archive]

Spockanalia #1: Record Review

By Dorothy Jones

Art by DEA

Record Review

by Dorothy Jones

In January of this year I sent Mr. Nimoy a copy of "The Territory of Rigel," explaining that it was a song text but that the music was yet to come.

"This leads to another point," I continued; "does Spock sing? Which is to say: do you? If so, what range?"

"I doubt that Mr. Spock will ever sing," he wrote back, "but Leonard Nimoy has on occasion. The range is very low, there have been some inquiries about the possibility of recording, and I frankly have not yet decided what to do about it."

It must have been only shortly thereafter that he did decide, and arranged to record with Dot Records. An album called Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space has been out for three or four months; a single, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, is about to be released.

The five instrumental pieces in the album are among its weakest parts. The Mission Impossible theme and Music to Watch Space Girls By are purely fillers and add nothing to the record. The Star Trek theme—embellished with bongo drums, electric organ, and female voices going aaaaaaah—is not much better. Beyond Antares (an instrumental setting of Lt. Uhura's song in "The Conscience of the King" is much easier to listen to, although it suffers from the same embellishments. I would have preferred to hear it sung, either by Mr. Nimoy or by Miss Nichols. The fifth piece, Where No Man Has Gone Before, is a surprise: a competent arrangement of an interesting melodic line based on the few phrases (under "Space, the final frontier…") which led from the teaser into the Star Trek theme. Why weren't they all as good as that?

Of the three songs in the album, two were taken from musical comedies. Where is Love (from Oliver) is a beautiful song of its type: its tender melodic line is well suited to Mr. Nimoy's very gentle voice, and its lyrics are entirely appropriate to Spock. Mr. Nimoy selected the song for that reason. I consider it the best band on the record.

Lost in the Stars (from the musical of the same name, based on Alan Paton's Cry, The Beloved Country), the song of the man who feels God has forgotten him, is perhaps more suitable to the denizens of the Twentieth Century than to Spock. Though he may occasionally indulge in desperation, he never despairs. However, the song is again well written and beautifully sung.

The third piece, You Are Not Alone, was written for this album. It is a protest against the unpleasantness of mankind which is about to be directed against the inhabitants of other planets. The point is well taken, and both the writer and the singer are very sincere. (Mr. Nimoy is one of the people over 30 whom you can trust.) I wish it had been written with a lighter hand; it has an unhappy streak of corn.

The three narrative pieces are reasonably authentic Spock. In Alien he describes himself with fair accuracy: "so much like you, and yet so unalike…no feelings show in me. Perhaps I'm better off than you…but I pay a price to be from human feelings free. Perhaps in me you see your destiny."

Mr. Nimoy narrates Visit to a Sad Planet not partially but entirely in the character of Spock, with his level intonation and occasional pauses to check the suitability of a phrase. The material is an anti-war protest: Spock visits a ruined civilization and the last survivor tells him how they had destroyed themselves. Asked the name of his world, he says, "We called it Earth." (And so they undoubtedly did, in their language. Had you forgotten Spock's telepathy?) The tone is taken from You Are Not Alone (as are several of the melodic elements), but the treatment is more subtle.

The tongue-in-cheek Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Earth stretches the imagination a little, but only a little. We know, of course, that Spock doesn't drink. But there must be ways (short of viruses, spores, and the pon farr) of getting him to lower his guard. I can imagine the delighted consternation in the Officers' Club, and Captain Kirk grinning into his bourbon on the rocks while his First Officer solemnly declares, "Twinkle, Twinkle, little earth, how I wonder what you're worth…On Cestus Omicron Three, the all-time hit song is Earthdust…don't let the earth get in your eyes."

Mr. Nimoy is a true Russian bass: his voice has a dark, velvety sound and some wonderful low notes. He has a natural sense of what to do with a phrase, but he is not a trained singer. He tends to fade out at the end of a phrase, perhaps because of lack of breath. If ever he gets away from that 14-hour day (not likely, if NBC knows a good thing when it sees one), he should be able to correct this with a little study. Of the more common faults of untrained singers—harshness, nasality, pinched tone, or wobbling tremolo—he has none. There is a great warmth in his voice: a very tender and gentle sound, when the material permits it.

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins had not been released at the time of this writing, but it was performed on July 27th on a truly abominable television program called Malibu U. Mr. Nimoy lounged on a rock and sang to a half dozen addled females who will not, I hope and trust, be part of the record itself.

The song could have been better or worse. Its melody was lifted, I should think, about 50-50 from Davy Crockett and The Purple People Eater. In its general tone it is no more astray than the Ballantine cover of The Hobbit. It is perhaps a bit more patronizing, but not unduly so—the sort of attitude one of the Big Folk would have taken toward Bilbo's adventures.

The line describing Bilbo as "the greatest little hobbit of them all" might be taken as a slur against Frodo, except that the rest of the song, speaking of Bilbo in the present tense, can clearly be dated between 2942 and 3018 Third Age (1342 and 1418 Shire-Reckoning). Indeed, the piece might well have been composed by one of the Men of Bree; and, since Mr. Nimoy is the only man I ever laid eyes on who could play Strider, the effect is quite pleasant and not at all out of tune with Tolkien's universe.

When I met Mr. Nimoy last December, he had not read The Lord of the Rings. Indeed, I believe he had never heard of it. When Karen Anderson met him this July, she got the impression that he had at least read The Hobbit and had loved it.

If Bilbo Baggins goes well, she told me, he intends to do a whole album of Tolkien songs. This would be a very good thing. He might, perhaps, do the Flanders and Swann settings of some of these songs. Certainly, Mr. Nimoy is capable of doing justice to much better material than Dot has given him so far.

FOR SALE

Sets of 18 film frames from Star Trek 1966-67—suitable for mounting in 16mm slide holders or for projection. Shots of Kirk, Spock, various views of the ship. $5 per set.

TO BE AUCTIONED AT NYCON

Incomplete sets of frames as above

Scripts of Star Trek

Sketches of scenes from the new season's shows

Female's tunic, green velour, about size 12

ALL MONIES TO GO TO THE TRANS-OCEANIC FAN FUND (TOFF)

Interested parties contact the Trimbles, [Address Redacted]

Note: With the help and guidance of Open Doors, we digitized the first volume of Spockanalia and imported it to AO3, which you can view here. In order to meet AO3's terms of service, some of the content was edited or removed. The full version of the zine is preserved on this blog. The masterpost is here.

[norbezjones]

Bez Reviews Independent Books 1: Memory Leak

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NaomiNorbez on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Pillowfort, Threads, and Instagram; I’m @norbezjones on Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

__________

The first book I’m reviewing Is Memory Leak by @maxkirin !  M. Kirin is a streamer who I happened to follow not long before their book release.  That’s how I heard about it.  Some light spoilers below, but nothing too big is revealed.  Most of the major stuff discussed you can read about right on the book’s itch page.

The plot is basically this: a trouple made a controversial game that won many awards, and also got lots of hate.  Now, they’re trying to make a new project to follow up such a release, but spooky things are happening.  Will they find out why strange events are occurring, or succumb to the haunting?

Everyone’s trans, and I love it.  Adrian’s trans.  Eva’s trans.  Casey’s . . . idk, very queer at least.  She’s also missing for a while, which has turned the game making trio into a duo as they’re trying to finish their new game based on Twelfth Night by Shakespeare.

Most of the book is about blackouts & memory loss, which occur as development goes on.  Reading about those things hurt.  Especially the part where Adrian says, “It didn’t matter if he didn’t remember. He was making something. Something that mattered.” (pg 17-18).  That hit hard, as someone who’s experienced intense periods of memory loss in the past—that was during my pseudo-dementia era (more on that here if you wanna hear the full story).  I had a similar thought to Adrian when I was making A Single Ouroboros Scale while I had pseudo-dementia.  I was desperate to make an impact because I was convinced I would soon forget everything I knew, including how to make games, and everyone would forget me in turn.  It came out as well as you can expect from a very sick, depressed person (which is to say, not good), as I talked about in the postmortem.  I imagine that for our game development trio, the same result occurs.

The hauntings in Memory Leak are rooted in real-life problems in the game development industry, mainly crunch and overworking yourself in order to meet a deadline.  Though in the case of Adrian, Eva, & Casey . . . was a deadline ever specified?  It’s strongly implied, but not overtly stated, as I recall.  Regardless, as a creator in the internet/social media age, you do have to act quickly to release new works, or the public will forget you.  Perhaps that’s why they feel like they need to work as quickly as possible.  There’s some irony in that—the characters’ rush to be remembered, all while they forget more & more.  It’s sad sometimes, the things we sacrifice to be known.

Also, it turns out the famous game the trio made, King Leer, possibly indirectly caused the death of multiple people, and that isn’t mentioned until about halfway through the book?  It’s surprising how that information flies out of nowhere, like a sucker punch.  If one of my games indirectly caused a person to die, I would be haunted by that for the rest of my life.  But the trio seem to have gotten over it, somehow.

My main little nitpick about the writing is that Adrian is referred to as “the young man” quite a bit, and I didn’t like that.  It felt too impersonal, distant.  That’s also something I do in my own writing, referring to the character as anything but their name to avoid saying their name too many times in a row (I blame my OCD [which I literally do have, that is not a figure of speech]).  So maybe it irks me because I see myself in that repeated action. 

As much as I like the writing style, I do have to acknowledge that it keeps us as a distance from the characters.  They’re young men, young women, lost souls.  It’s like we’re also haunting them, a ghost from beyond getting a peek into their lives from the top-down.  The chapter openers reinforce this: in those, you, the reader, are brought into the story, from a second person perspective, and given information about Starling games from YouTube videos, forum posts, messages, etc.  We see them win Game Of The Year, watch as fans deride & praise them, stuff like that.  It’s definitely an interesting way to give us information.

A big issue is that we’re told a lot that these characters love each other, but that bond isn’t quite shown to me. One can argue that it is between Adrian & Eva at least, but Casey?  In the beginning, it seems like she dislikes Adrian & Eva, but then there’s still a scene where she cries while apologizing to Adrian for yelling at him, saying how much she loves him.  I got the sense that she clings to Adrian & Eva because she used to love them, for a long time, and she doesn’t want to let that go.  Because to let that go would be venturing into unknown & very awkward territory.  How do you break up your polycule if you rely on them to earn a living and make games?  Short answer: you don’t, so you pretend instead.  And when you pretend enough, it can become real again.

This is a problem because the love these characters have for each other is a core tenant of the book, especially in the climax.  I wish we could’ve spent more time seeing how they fell in love with each other, back when Starling Games was new.  At least Casey’s love for the others becomes clearer as the book goes on; that’s a good thing.

As for the big twist, I saw the first part of it coming from a mile away.  That’s not a bad thing—a good twist should fit the plot & themes, not be 100% unpredictable, and this twist did.  The second part of the twist is mentioned on the book’s page, but the execution is so interesting you can almost forget that fact.

Last note: I was hoping the book would tell us why the works the trio make are so fucked up, if they’re a reflection of the soul, or just dark spurts of creativity.  The reason is revealed, and it’s fascinating—after all, if we’ve learned anything from The Beginner’s Guide, it’s that art doesn’t always reflect the author.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book.  It was a very interesting story about the struggle of game development, and how our search for a legacy can haunt us.  The characters are interesting, and the story is very well told.  I would recommend it.

If you want to read Memory Leak, you can do so FOR FREE right here!  Give it a look!  Please!  I’m begging you!

Thanks for reading!  The next review will be of To Wield The Darkest Night by Beau Van Dalen.  But I don’t know what I’m doing after that, so please send me your lovely books!

[kaija-rayne-author]

10.1 in review series for Dragon Age Veilguard

70 hours in, 68 actual gameplay

Obligatory I'm not an asshole disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard

Section 9 is here.

I haven't played yet today. I have to take my immunocompromised ass into a world that doesn't give a shit about my life to get groceries. How do I know they don't care? They don't mask. It's as simple as that. If you care about immunocompromised people, people like me recovering from almost dying, pregnant people, old people, many children, people with immune affecting issues like long covid, depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia... goddess, the list goes on, if you cared? You'd mask. It's the number one way to help us survive. And no, us masking by ourselves doesn't work very well. Everyone has to.

Anyway. Yeah. Gotta risk my life for groceries because I can't afford delivery.

I was just sitting here, and I think I figured out some of the many issues that are bothering me about this game. The great big missing I've been trying to figure out.

They didn't make Veilguard for the adult gamers who have desperately wanted it for so long. They made it for children and teens.

Epler even outright said they'd changed things hoping to draw in a younger section of gamers. (In one of the first q&a sessions after the gameplay reveals.) I wonder if he bothered to do any market studies to see if that demographic would actually be interested?

I can only judge by my two gaming kids because I'm on media blackout while I finish this game. But no matter how much they simplified it for kids, they still have absolutely no interest in Dragon age. They're far more interested in indie games than anything a triple A studio puts out. Their opinions on Triple A studios are so low it's honestly ridiculous. They don't even understand why I love games put out by them.

So, the devs chose to remove things so that parents would be more likely to let their kid play what is still listed as a M level game (ESRB M for mature).

Ooooh, no. We can't have rogues picking locks and doing all the stuff rogues are supposed to be able to do. Why? Because that means kids will be delinquents doing the same! (The trust in the ability of older kids to understand the difference between a fantasy video game and real life is astounding, I tell you. /s) This is such a boomer thought process I'm shocked to see it, to be completely honest.)

Everyone is just so... nice. Not kind, that's different. But that sugary, false nice. None of the romanceables have anything tooooo controversial about them.

Blackwall Inquisition was a child murderer and lying about being a Grey Warden. Dorian was a spoiled, enslaving Tevinter rich boy (he did actually have a growth arc in Inquisition). Sera was a thief and a Red Jenny (people who worked against the entitled, rich nobility as needed to protect people without power). Varric (even though you can't romance him) was a thief, liar, cheater, and someone you wanted at your back in a fight because he fights dirty. Cassandra was bigoted, hide bound, and intolerant of any faiths other than Andrastianism. The Iron Bull was a failed Ben-Hassrath double agent. The ben-hassrath are a combination of spies, saboteurs, and assassins, among other things. Whatever was needed to defend the Qun. Cullen was a drug addict and such a horrible person in the previous two games it actually made me physically ill to try to romance him. Solas was, well, Solas. Who we all know had a lot of bad in his background. They've certainly hammered that point home in Veilguard. With a jackhammer. The only romance option in Inquisition that wasn’t dirty was Josey. And if you do Romance her, you find some dirt on her too.

I could say the same for almost every Dragon Age Romanceable in the entire damned series. They've mostly been not the greatest of people and when the writers were doing their jobs right, there were growth arcs for them that made them better people during the game. That's part of the fun of games with Romanceable characters. Picking out which broken bird fits your type of broken to romance. (And we're mostly all broken in some way.)

But all the romance options in Veilguard are... well, boring. They're nice, safe, decent people. And since most people have some darkness in them, it's probably not working for others as epically as it's not working for me.

If they're already nice, safe, decent people (even the fucking assassin!) then there's no room for growth. No room to learn that character and feel like your presence in their lives might give them a light to help them strive to be better people. They've truncated any potential for growth arcs for all of them. I'm a Romance author. When you're designing characters for Romance, they have to have a balance of flaws to good points. Otherwise they're just poorly designed characters with little potential to get hearts throbbing and knickers in a twist.

No wonder the romanceables aren't working for me. None of them have flaws big enough to make them well-rounded characters.

Moving on.

Have you noticed there's no blood splatter? You'll get a slowly creeping puddle around enemies, but somehow it never gets on the characters. I'll check if I have the energy to play after risking my life to get food. But I don't recall seeing a toggle for blood splatter in Veilguard. Like it or hate it, the blood splatter is very much a thing in games like these. They usually have an option to turn it off, but it's usually there. Especially in Dragon Age, blood splatter was a thing. A big thing. Hells, their logo was a blood splatter dragon for at least two games FFS. Edit. Confirmed there is no option anywhere I can find that lets us have blood splatter.

And honestly, having my characters coming out of hard fights looking like they've been through a meat grinder is part of the reason I enjoy games like these.

The choices for dialogue are also usually pretty 'nice'. The 'sarcastic' option usually isn't. The angry/strong one isn't either. It's all just... boring. And I'm into Act three now, so I'm thinking my hope of 'maybe the dialogue will get better' is probably an impossibility at this point.

The simplified plot points, the puerile storylines, the lack of dirt on the romanceables, the lack of growth arcs, the completely ridiculous cutting of 90% of the dark horror elements that made these games so good... we've lost all of that because they made this game for kids. And I highly doubt kids will be interested. So they've fucked over, and at least in my case, utterly pissed off the older gamers who have loved Dragon Age for so long, and very likely failed to attract younger gamers, too.

The problem with trying that, which I really think should've been obvious to somebody. Is that Dragon Age has never been a game designed for kids. It's always been bloody, often harsh, horrific, dark fantasy made for adults.

Games for younger people need to be designed for younger people from the first moment of creation. Or it just doesn't work. You technically can transfer some concepts from adult games into things for kids, but the result is invariably something as awful as Veilguard. And something bound to satisfy few people. The condescension toward younger folks in Veilguard is pretty bloody obvious. Something I've noticed kids hate? Being condescended to.

Congratulations on learning the lesson of knowing who your fucking market is.

It's crucial in any kind of content creation to know who you're making the thing for, and to not deviate from those genre expectations toooo much. Otherwise, you just have a mess of a disaster like Veilguard. They shot for two wildly dissimilar markets and failed both. Even the cartoony look of the art style is much more like a game for kids than anything like a dark fantasy game for adults.

And like... it's still listed as a mature rated game. So what, exactly, was the point of ruining Dragon Age like this? Many parents won't let their kids play M rated games regardless.

It's just so depressing. If they'd actually made this game for the people who had been praying for it for so long? It probably would have been phenomenal. As it stands, I'll be shocked if it doesn't sink Bioware. And if it doesn't, I'd think it because of bribery more than game quality.

I do have to say that you can decorate more than I thought. But you have to buy almost everything. And they're themes, so there's no intermixing possible. Like you could have Elven windows with Alamarri rugs and a Ferelden throne in Skyhold? All gifts from either people or cultures you'd helped, which tied it all together and connected it to the world... you can just change themes for the Lighthouse. It changes everything, and again, you have to buy almost everything. That really removes a lot of depth from the game.

People call all the collectibles and gifts etc. from the previous games 'filler'. But, frankly, that's a very uneducated opinion of what that 'filler' is supposed to do in fiction. The 'filler' (which is an actual technical term in writing fiction, and those things aren't filler) collectibles and quests gave depth to the games. It tied the world of THEDAS into the world of the player character. It's called world building in writing circles. And what confuses me is that I don't recall anyone having to do any of that. If all you wanted out of the previous games (especially Inquisition) was a fighting game, you could do that. None of the world building collection parts locked you out of any quests that I can recall. If you did enjoy deeper world building and collecting things, you could collect to your heart's content. There's none of that delicately intertwined, beautiful worldbuilding in Veilguard. It's stripped down to the very bare bones of mediocrity.

At heart, Veilguard is not a role-playing game. It's a fighting game. And not even a very well designed one. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have aggro. That's not how this is supposed to work.

Why they felt going from a successful history of role-playing games to a stripped-down, poorly world built fighting game a good idea is just beyond me? Whoever made that decision honestly needs to be fired. And you will almost never see me say that. Jobs are too hard to find. But I will say it about Veilguard. The decisions made have ruined Veilguard in my honest, incredibly disappointed viewpoint.

They marketed this as a role-playing game. The expectation was for a role-playing game set in a richly detailed, deeply world built environment. Like most of the Dragon Age games have been. Especially Inquisition.

And we got a fighting game so stripped of world building that it's sad and just... boring.

Oh, heads up if you're disabled with any sort of disability that affects your hand eye coordination or ability to move your fingers quickly on a keyboard or controller. Don't buy this game. Even on the lowest setting with no death clicked on, you need a great deal of manual dexterity to use this crappy new fighting set up they've come up with. They definitely didn't think of physically disabled gamers at all in developing this. I'm just lucky my particular physical disabilities don't affect me that way. Though my hands are in agony from keeping my not-a-rogue out of the dragon on one side, stone wall on the other situation the fucked up aggro set up always puts me in.

They did bring gifts for companions back, which would thrill me if I actually had any desire to romance any of them. Which I honestly don't. And in games like these? It's often hard for me to pick which one. I often have to install a polyam mod so I can see the other romances because I'm usually so hot and bothered and just captivated by a Romanceable character or three that I won't be able to not romance them. Meaning I need the mod if I'm going to see the other romances.

I'm physically and mentally incapable of not romancing Astarion BG3. (I've tried!) Halsin gets me every time, too. Those are markers of excellent character development.

There's none of that in Veilguard.

Emmerich, and (as much as I hated his intro story, The Wigmaker,) Lucanis are the only slightly interesting characters to me.

Bellara is sweet and awkward, but they reduced her neurodivergent qualities so much it feels... off, to my neurodivergent ass. In the autistic people on tv way of off. (To date, there hasn't been much, if any, good rep of us on TV. It's all inspiration porn.) I don't feel seen in her. And I have quite a few traits she expresses. Whoever wrote her has my version of ADHD. But the way she's written, where she's constantly telling herself she's stupid or foolish or shouldn't do things? Those are markers of traumatized neurodivergence, not the ADHD itself they're highlighting. What that says is that, in her world, people have come down on her so hard for her differences, so often, that now she's mean to herself. ADHD kids aren't born like that. People make us like that. It's a sad representation of ADHD, not a celebratory or accepting one. It makes me feel like she, and me by extension, is to be pitied. Like someone like me, or Bellara, aren't worthy of respect, love, and trust. It's not a good feeling.

Neve is so suspicious and bitchy that I have no desire to even try to romance her. I want to shove Harding off a cliff.

Davrin is really suspiciously similar to Halsin BG3. Big, more blocky than usual for an elf, wants to do good, carves wood... but where Halsin really works (because of his deep character development and darkness) Davrin, while definitely hot and with an amazing voice... just falls flat.

Emmerich is a doll of prince charming manners and adorable fussiness. He's probably the character next to Lucanis who actually has the most darkness to him.

I really wanted to love Taash. And I like them a lot, but their 'you must choose only one' thing showed up really fucking early in the game. I didn't feel like I knew them yet, so they're just never going to work for my demisexual ass unless I actually replay this (unlikely?) with a polyam mod and basically plug my nose and close my eyes and leap into a relationship with them far earlier than I'm really comfy with.

So, there's some clarity for me on what's missing and why.

Genshin Impact has more draw for me as an adult gamer than Veilguard does. And that is absolutely a game targeted at teens and early twenties folks. It's also an incredibly well designed game with good world building, balanced fighting, and devs who know who their market is.

It's an old saw in content creation. But Know Your Market is a saw for a reason.

Section 10.2 here.

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares A Frantic and Funky Ode to Fearing the End of The World

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares A Frantic and Funky Ode to Fearing the End of The World @westernvinyl @pitchperfectpr

As it turns out, I’ve managed to write a bit about Luke Temple, a singer/songwriter, visual artist and producer, best known for being the creative mastermind behind the genre-defying recording project Art Feynman. Up until recently, Art Feynman has been strictly a solo thing, a way for Temple to explore surprising sonic landscapes without the burdens of identity. His soon-to-be-released Art…

[stupidsagestars]

could i request some kuroo smut drabbles pls :3

𝐡𝐢!! 𝐓𝐲𝐬𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 :𝐃

---★---★---★

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐱 𝐟! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(there is a tiny bit of plot you have to get through but I can't live without context 😭😭)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who for some reason cannot stop working, he hates it, he gets alot of money but he has no time for anything, he can't even remember the last time he fucked. He's always coming back to his apartment with a headache and he can't cook for his life so his fridge is filled with pot noodles, microwavable pizza, yogurt and some left over takeaway.

There is one perk though, his lovely co-worker, the girl he's been in love with ever since he talked to you. His intelligent, sexy y/n. In the last few months his innocent crush on you has turned into something a tiny bit more perverted but that's only because he's so desperate for you and has no idea on how to act on it, plus there's nothing wrong with staring at your ass when you bend down to pick a pen, right???

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who can spot you through the glass windows of his office getting ready for lunch, he checks his watch and decides it's a good time to have lunch too, it's such a coincidence you're both on the way to the same café right?

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who completely turns off his phone so he can completely focus on you. Your voice is so soothing to him, it scratches all the right parts of his brain and your face, your beautiful face, he tries not to seem obvious when he steals glances at you whilst your working at the office across him. Sometimes you catch him in the act and give him a small smile and a wave to which he returns the gesture with a blush creeping up his face

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who immediately feels the lustful part of his brain wake up when you tell him that you've left an important document at your apartment and you need to rush back to get it.

"I can come with you." He says quickly grabbing your hand stopping in your tracks.

"Are you sure, I-"

"Y/n. I insist." He says giving you a small smile.

«★»

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who's gonna have to review every single email and piece of work he's read in the last month because the only thing he can focus on is the moans you make as he pounds to you at a record speed scientists would have to examine. He's got you pressed against your living room wall with your legs wrapped around him and your hands loosely placed on his shoulders.

"I haven't felt this alive in ages." He groans, forcing himself to pull out with his orgasm seconds away. He slowly watches your cum drip from your pussy and his boner reappears like it never left. He considers going for a round 2 but decides against it when he notices your sleepy expression. He carries you into your bedroom and softly places you onto the bed before rushing to the bathroom for a towel and then to the kitchen for a glass of water.

When 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 comes back to your bedroom ( btw his boxers are back on dw 💀) he's absolutely smitten with the expression you're giving him.

He sits beside you and caresses your check with his thumb.

"It's been a while for you too?" He asks, pouring the water into your mouth for you.

"Yep but to be honest, no-one compares to you." You say and he blushes.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜! 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 who has a feeling this will definitely lead to something more.

[ Part 2??

I hope you liked this, it's very rushed since I've been working on my series which kuroo will also be appearing in!! but I'm happy to do a part 2, feel free to read my request page if you're interested in submitting one, reblogs,likes and follows are appreciated!! ★★

[bitter-sweetener]

Bitter's Hellraiser Movie Review

Okay so, over this past weekend I watched every* single Hellraiser movie. There are 11 in total, 10 from the original franchise and 1 modern "reboot". I watched the very first one and Pinhead immediately became my newest hyper-fixation. I'm a freak weirdo into freak weirdo shit because my brain is a little funky. I will be posting my complete thoughts (+ analysis) under the cut. Short end of it: I loved it. It's a classic. Watch the first one at the very least. I think the reboot was really worth watching. You must have some whimsy to enjoy the rest. 6 + 7 are watchable but honestly the average viewer would not like any of the other movies. Do not watch Revelations. I love some really TRASH media, so you know that is truly a shit movie. Spoilers!

Okay. Now that the normies are gone, here we go.

I have said it once and I shall say it again, Pinhead is a psychological horror villain in a slasher movie world. I am aware of the books Hellraiser is based on, and also the comic books. Best believe I WILL be reading those as soon as I can get my grubby little fingers on them. Anyway here's my review:

Hellraiser: I love 80's horror aesthetics. I love anything with practical effects. But most importantly, I love the whole idea of Pinhead and the cenobites. I thought it was a very fun horror movie. The no skin makeup really weirded me out, not in a bad way but in a probably unintended way. I really fell in love with Pinhead. "The box! You opened it, we came." I love that Pinhead was ready too make a deal with Kirsty. Seemed flirty to me idk. (There is something about media about a sadomasochist wanting you that makes my brain go bur.) I feel like up until the point where the Cenobites appeared, this was going to be a slasher movie. Once you see that they can be reasoned with in some way? They hit that very yummy to me psychological horror field. I think that was the point where I needed to see more of him. My only complaint about the movie is that Pinhead wasn't in more of it. If you like Hannibal (tv), you'd like Kirsty/Pinhead and vice versa. 5/5 stars. Also Frank saying come to Daddy made me laugh so incredibly hard. Will re-watch this.

Hellraiser ii: Hellbound. This was a really good sequel. It picks up RIGHT where the previous one leaves off which I thought was nice. I'm so glad that they stuck a bit to the very obvious psychological horror route with this movie, letting Tiffany go free due to her catatonic state. "It is not hands that call us. It is desire." The cenobites aren't completely evil in that regard, and I think that is what truly makes for an interesting antagonist whereas Frank and Julia are kinda just shitty people. I REALLY WISH that they continued more on that route with the rest of the movies. I feel like they completely disregard that aspect of the Cenobites later which just makes the deaths boring after a while. But again I'm calling it a 5/5 stars from me. Will re-watch this. There's a moment with this weirdly wet baby doll on screen with sewn together lips? Seeing that sent me to a new dimension. Pinhead wants Kirsty soooooo bad. "We have eternity to know your flesh." Down BAD.

Hellraiser iii: Hell On Earth. I ship Terri and Joey. The scene in Joey's apartment??? Lesbian alert. Loved that. The weird baby returned but this time not wet, but dangling in a circle of barbed wire with a blindfold on. Fucking amazing. Who's idea was that. Who NEEDED that to be featured so desperately. Also I fucking love that Hell was like encased in this weird af art piece thing. I love that we got some Elliot in this movie! I think merging the two fully solidified that Pinhead isn't all beast. I thought it was fun watch. 5/5 also. I love this original trilogy as a trilogy. "I AM THE WAY." I loved the church scene.

Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker. I watched the movies out of order. This one is the most worth watching of the follow up movies just for continuity. But I thought it was very boring. The set up for this movie is more about taking you through someone else's specific hell and not just the act of being brought to it. I love that we get Kirsty back. Pinhead WILL get his girl. "You opened the door long ago and it will not be closed until I get what I came for. It was a nice closeout to her story, a nice little epilogue. I MAY re watch it, just for Pinhead, but probably not. 3/5. "Welcome to the worst nightmare of all. Reality." He was SO real for that omg. I love this franchise because a lot of it lets the female protagonists get revenge and I loooveeeee when women are vengeful.

Hellraiser 4: Bloodline. They are in space? And there's some lore of the box that is in the past and not in space? But this is honestly a shit film. I thought it was boring. The scene with the twins was GOOD. Perhaps the single good thing about that movie. But mostly I don't remember anything about it at all. 2/5. "I am so exquisitely empty." Yeah babe, so was this movie.

Hellraiser 5: Inferno. Similar to 6 in how its once specific guy's specific kind of hell. The male protagonists (?) suck in this franchise. It gave me a bit of a Hannibal (tv) vibe when the guy sits down with the therapist. I'm calling him "this guy" because I cannot be bothered to look up his name because it was so boring. Honestly I also BARELY remember this movie. 2/5 "Welcome to hell." I do really think Hannibal would like Pinhead. They would just love each other's work I think. I started daydreaming about a Hannibal and Hellraiser crossover. Because as mentioned, I AM a freak weirdo.

Hellraiser 7: Deader. STUPID NAME for a movie. That being said I enjoyed this one! Like a fair amount. Another great female protagonist. I really liked seeing her gathering evidence to investigate. I hated the cult leader type guy. I just thought he was fucking stupid. If it wasn't a Hellraiser movie I may have liked it more. Because the Cenobites are kind of just there? This would work as a better stand alone type of horror cult movie. I think Hellraiser was just trying out all kinds of troupes and whatever. "You should be very careful what you wish for. It just might come true." 3/5 I remembered the plot this time.

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld. This is just a slasher film that they glued Pinhead into the end of. It was giving SAW vibes at one point. With the chair with the blades that sever the arteries in your neck. I don't particularly like Saw. Just doesn't tickle me. I will admit to fast forwarding through bits of this because I just did not care all that much. I watched it only so I could store the scenes with Pinhead into my brain, and even that part was like eating holographic meatloaf. 1/5.

Hellraiser 9*: Revelations. There is that * again! Did you forget about it? Yeah I got 5 minutes in, said yo why is this SO BAD, read that this film was rushed and made mostly to keep the licensing, and then PROMPTLY shut that shit off. 0/5. Negative one million. If I opened the box, the hell I would be dragged into would include being forced to watch this movie.

Hellraiser 10: Judgement. Better than the 9th movie that's for sure. Once again, I cared very little for the man who's story the film this movie was ultimately about. These men genuinely have no personality outside of kinda just being a jackass. I did like the auditor. I thought he was pretty cool! I liked the visuals in this movie, very very gross and gory. I liked the idea of heaven sanctioned evil. I liked that Pinhead was like, lady I do not care who you are, fuck you and fuck that guy you were trying to save. I think it's stupid that he was sent to "reality" as punishment. I think it's stupid that he was punished for that. Free my boy from the confines of reality and allow him to experience the sweet pain of the flesh once more! 2/5 "After all, evil seeks evil." I also want to say that Pinhead being unwilling to strike a deal with this guy is further proof that Kirsty is special and that he should get his girl.

Hellraiser 2022: OKAY PINHEAD IS HOT. FEM PINHEAD IS SUPER SEXY. THEIR VOICE????!?!?!?!?! FUCKING WOAHHHHHHH. Also there is gay people!!! I love gay people. Honestly I thought this was a really compelling story. I think Hulu did the franchise justice. It was just very visually appealing. There were a lot of layers in a way, similar to how the first few movies had these layers of evil to them. I really liked that. I will watch this again. I just think it was a good movie. Voight's transformation was quite captivating at the end. I like that we had the Cenobites working with some kind of code again, like god intended. One of my favorite scenes is the one where Nora gets got. "...heaven. There's no music in that." It's just REALLY HOT sadomasochism vibes and I'm here for it. Maybe I'm just fucked up and gay though. 5/5 stars. It was worth getting through the bad movies for this beautiful creation.

If you read this whole thing I love you and I'll see you in hell <3

[marble-hand]

[ manny jacinto, cis-man, he/him ] Look who just landed! VALERIO “VAL” DIZON, I sure hope you packed all you need. Perhaps you’re not worried as FORCE LEADER of THE OVERSEERS. The city has plenty of spots for a 34 year old HEXTECH USER like you. You’ll be known in the city soon enough as THE MARBLE HAND, being RIGHTEOUS and CREDULOUS.

OOC INFO

OOC: Jun, PT, any pronouns/siya

Muse’s Name(s): Valerio “Val” Dizon

Tagging System: Below

Interview: Here

STATISTICS

Full Name: Valerio Dizon

Nickname: Val

Date of Birth: October 4, 2371

Gender: Cis-man

Pronouns: He/him

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Romantic Orientation: Panromantic

Current Age: 34

Modification: Hextech User – White Titanium Gauntlets AKA The Marble Hands

Affiliation: The Overseers

Birthplace: Marwar District, New Jakarta

Current Neighbourhood: Sora, New Jakarta

Occupation: Force Leader of The Overseers

Known Languages: Tagalog (native), English (native), Mandarin (conversational), Bahasa Indonesian (conversational), Japanese (conversational)

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Manny Jacinto

Height: 5'11"

Eye Colour: Dark brown

Hair Colour: Black

Clothing Style: Usually in uniform, otherwise minimal, clean, and comfy a la Scandinavian Minimalist core 

Jewellery: Multiple rings to fidget with if he’s not wearing his gauntlets, but very deliberately keeps his ring finger free

Tattoos: N/A

Marks/Scars: A few burn scars from his time in the bakery, numerous scars from front-line duty, and a larger scar on this back that he got during “training” when he first got recruited into the Overseers

Modifications: Hextech user

Scent/Fragrance: Like freshly baked bread

FAVOURITES

Likes: Any sort of freshly baked bread or pastry, Filipino drink desserts, a good time in karaoke

Dislikes: Criminals with no remorse, disorderly conduct, people who leave less than 5 star reviews about his mom’s bakery 

Hobbies: Basketball, baking, recipe development

Habits: Fidgeting with rings or the crystals on his gauntlets, code-switching between more casual and formal talk off/on duty

One Cherished Item: A personalized apron and oven mitt set from Santi for their six month anniversary

BIOGRAPHY

Always "Val," and never "Valerio Dizon"—unless it was his mother scolding him for staying out too late. Val was the kind of guy who made people feel at ease. Popular, good-natured, the one who’d help walk an old lady across the street without a second thought or share his lunch with a classmate who’d forgotten theirs. Up until high school, he never aspired to be anything more than what he was, a regular kid with a decent life in New Jakarta’s Marwar District.

Born to a single mother who ran the family bakery, Valerio’s Bake Shop, Val’s life followed a comfortable, if predictable, routine. The bakery was a local favorite, known for its warm, flaky pastries and the kind smile his mother greeted everyone with. For Val, the future seemed simple: he’d take over the bakery, maybe work part-time during college, and continue the family tradition. Ambition wasn’t something that had crossed his mind. Why would it? Life was normal. It was fine.

But even in his laid-back existence, he held an unwavering belief in justice. Though he was one of the popular kids, Val always made sure everyone was included, that no one felt left out. He’d step in when the neighborhood kids got too rough, making them apologize if they bumped into someone. Laws and order kept life safe, and that’s how Val liked it. Stable. Secure.

Until it wasn’t.

The robbery was a shock. A bakery of all places. The desperation in New Jakarta was growing, people were hungry—not just for food, but for survival. Val remembers running home, heart pounding, fearing the worst. The storefront window was shattered, glass littering the sidewalk, but his mother, though shaken, was unharmed. Relief washed over him, but reality punched him straight in the face—their safety had been an illusion, a fragile thing easily broken as the bakery’s window.

At the scene, Val’s eyes were drawn to an Overseer, an imposing figure clad in sleek armor, weapons glowing with the eerie light of Hextech crystals. The Overseer moved with authority, surveying the damage with a calm, focused demeanor. Val had never seen anything like it. The man approached him, asked if he was the owner’s son. When Val nodded, the Overseer placed a heavy, gloved hand on his shoulder. “Be strong,” he said, his voice steady. “Protect your mother. We won’t always be here.”

Those words struck something deep within Val. The Overseer’s presence, the power he wielded, and the responsibility he bore—it all crystallized in Val’s mind. He wanted to be strong enough to protect those he loved, to uphold the laws that kept people safe. For the first time, Val felt a drive, a purpose that went beyond the bakery and the simple life he’d always imagined.

From that day on, Val’s path shifted. With less than a year before his high school graduation, he poured himself into his studies, especially anything that would help him understand the law, justice, and the workings of the city. He trained his body, pushing himself to physical limits he’d never considered before. His mother supported him, proud of his newfound determination, even if it meant a different, bigger, future than she’d envisioned.

Val joined the Overseers as soon as he was able, climbing the ranks with a mix of hard work, innate talent, and that fierce belief in justice that had always been a part of him. He specialized in Hextech weaponry, just like the man he admired all those years ago. His titanium white gauntlets becoming his signature, earning him the nickname “The Marble Hand.”

Despite his rise, Val never lost that good-natured, approachable side. He was known for his fairness, his refusal to bend the rules, but also for his empathy. He argued for mercy when he believed people were victims of circumstance, remembering his own past and the desperation he had seen in the eyes of those who had turned to crime.

Now, as the Force Leader of the Overseers, Val is in a position of power he never sought but fully embraced. He sees himself in the new recruits, those young, eager faces that remind him of the boy he once was—the one who had no real ambition until the day his world was shaken. Val takes it upon himself to mentor them, to instill in them the same belief in justice that drives him. He’s seen the darkness in the city, but he’s also seen the light, and he’s determined to guide the next generation of law enforcers, and anyone else he can bring along, towards that light.

RELATIONSHIPS AND CONNECTIONS (More TBA)

Mother - Marigold Santos Dizon

Val had always admired his mom. Growing up, he was a bit of a brat—he can admit that now—but looking back, he feels a little sorry for the way he acted. It wasn’t until he got older that he realized the situation they were in: a single mom running a bakery by herself, keeping everything together with sheer willpower and ungodly early mornings. Val remembers how she would wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning to get the day’s stock of baked goods going, a routine that seemed as natural to her as breathing.

By the time Val was in high school, he couldn’t just watch her do it all alone. He started getting up early too, helping her out before heading off to practice. It wasn’t much, but he wanted to do his part. Those early mornings taught him perseverance, a trait he knows he inherited from her.

Now, as he climbs the ranks in the Overseers and dreams of a better future for both himself and the city, he wishes he could do more for her. Val hopes to see her retire soon, but he wonders if she could really let go of the bakery. It’s been her life’s work, her pride. Would she find fulfillment in retirement, or would she miss the routine, the sense of purpose it gave her?

One thing Val does know, however, is that she keeps asking when he’s going to get married. She says it doesn’t matter who, as long as he’s happy. Val finds her persistence amusing and endearing, a reminder that no matter how much his life changes, some things—like his mom’s unconditional love and prized pandesal recipe—will always stay the same.

Boyfriend - Santi Amarin-Zhao

The words were already spilling out of his mouth before he could think. He had just finished a routine line of questioning, and before Val knew it, his next question had him asking out New Jakarta’s most eligible bachelor and X Academy’s CEO on a date. Val’s heart nearly stopped as he realized what he’d done—he’d never fumbled like that before when asking someone out. He was about to apologize, to take it back, but then Santi said, “Sure.” Just like that. 

They’ve gone on quite a few dates since then, and Val likes to think they’re going steady, exclusive even. But he can’t help noticing the walls Santi has put up. Their relationship isn’t public, Santi avoids any kind of PDA, and sometimes he feels just out of reach, even during late nights when it’s just the two of them in bed. It’s like Santi’s there, but not fully there.

Still, it doesn’t shake Val’s faith in him. He trusts Santi. They both want the same thing, right? For this city to be better, safer. Val tells himself that’s enough, even if getting closer to Santi feels like trying to touch something through glass.

[goodbysunball]

August 2024: Habitual socialite

Another delay-ridden post, this one gestating for about a month now, or at least mid-July's when I took the picture above.

Lucky for you there's a fix: Doug Mosurock, formerly of @still-single, is back up and running reviews at Heathen Disco. Doug's the real deal, an obvious influence on this withering Tumblr blog, and his short/sweet review digest, delivered once or twice a week, is well worth a (free, for now) subscription. The onslaught of reviews have hipped me to that CHBB reissue, and I'm sure there'll be a bunch more.

Onto the records, heavy on the punk and hardcore this round ---

Bad Breeding, Contempt LP (Iron Lung/One Little Independent)

Bad Breeding are back to crash your dinner party, armed with exhaustive pamphlets and not letting up on arguments about housing crises well past the point of decor. They have been singularly adept at cataloging the damaged, bleak, backwards, corrupt and blind state of the world, and have done so across a set of blistering LPs and their accompanying essays. Exiled is still my favorite, but I thought the band stumbled a bit on the follow-up Human Capital. The long tracks on Human Capital feel every bit their length, but listening back today, I think "Joyride," "Arc Eye" and "Straw Man" buoy the album with ease around the title track and "Rebuilding." Contempt could be considered a much sharper version of Human Capital, ripe with feedback, near-metal riffing and righteous fury as before, but still extending track lengths with mixed results. The best part of the album, and maybe of Bad Breeding's discography to date, is "Liberty" into "Discipline": the former cold-worked into a frenzied noise over two pummeling minutes, and the latter doing the most with drums, feedback and barked vocals, fighting desperately against being swallowed whole. While they don't touch that peak again on the album (and not many could), "Temple of Victory" and "Vacant Paradise" are furious pounding tracks that, when isolated from the album, pack some real heat. Over the course of the record, the band's relentless sound can wipe out distinctions between tracks, or worse, as on the second half of "Guilded Cage / Sanctuary," drag the momentum to a complete halt. Those minor quibbles shouldn't deface what is an album full of the mid-tempo, bass-heavy, feedback-laden hardcore I'd prefer to hear, and in any case "Guilded Cage" fuckin' smokes. I'd take an album full of "Survival"s or "Retribution"s if it meant more punks railing against the systems in place as Bad Breeding so fervently advocates, rather than against like-minded (or not) peers. Maybe Contempt is asking too much of the discerning public, or maybe the earnestness is a turnoff, because the record can feel easy to dismiss as too reflective of what we can read about or experience without much effort every day. But there remains a fire within the record that feels vital, even if it's not the soundworld I want to enter every day. I think it's one of the best records of the year, not because it has to be, but because the band clawed and teared their way there, producing a ferocious album/package that digs deeply into the late-stage capitalist system we all suffer from. Contempt's not the solution, but it might well inspire it.

Klonns, Heaven LP (Iron Lung/Black Hole)

The most recent Deep Voices post had an interesting dive into perfection vs. originality in music, and Heaven is swinging for perfection in a genre more often satisfied with filth and murk. Here's a rare hardcore record that sounds polished, barely smudged with experimental touches on the edges, and emerging fully formed and fun as hell. Now labeling their sound "The new wave of Japanese hardcore," Klonns are near-bulletproof across Heaven, so much so that I somehow don't mind when they pull out a "GO!" vocal command every track. Gruff, raspy but still intelligible vocals sit comfortably on top of near-metallic riffs and drums that flash just enough to make sure you keep a distance. The resulting sound is roomy and comfortable, like an old hoodie, but with the sleeves cut off and reeking of VFW hall floors. I'll point you straight to "Beherit"/"Realm," the breakdown on the former serving as a primer for the guest vocals of Sailor Kannako ripping apart the end of the latter. The bruising riff at the end of "Nemesis" or the finale to "Replica" sound like a finely honed point rather than emulation: this is a band focused on what makes hardcore vital to them and executing it nearly flawlessly. The electronic intro/outro portions are nice touches to bookend an LP's worth of evidence of what a supportive punk scene can produce when everyone's aimed in the same direction. Sick and wildly unpretentious LP, beautifully packaged and bursting at the seams with music that begs to be experienced live. Maybe someday, but for now, this'll do.

Osbo, s/t 7" (Blow Blood)

A "gritty, modern classic of a hardcore record" you say? I'm as numb to label write-ups for their own records as anyone at this point but that's still a bold gambit to throw down, along with the Cold Sweat RIYL, but Blow Blood rules so here I am. I don't really think many have come close to Blinded except for that way under-appreciated Pious Faults LP, but the sound and attitude on Osbo earn that Cold Sweat comparison. I'll leave it to the real hardcore scholars as to the rest. The band previously released a demo back in the first wave of the Covid pandemic, which I am forgiving myself for missing, but might have to cop after hearing this EP. The vocalist is what sells it here, going full ugly for the duration, the kind of hardcore that would've lit up message boards back in the mutated reign of bands like Twin Stumps or Mayyors. Still works today, especially as a companion to that Bad Breeding LP, feral and ugly hardcore sagging under its own weight, probably causing the rooms they play in to sway like a ship in rough waters. I think "Say It to My Face" is the best track here, but it's hard to deny the nearly side-long "Time," a plodding, abrasive four-plus minutes that basically serves as a perfect showcase for the band's strengths: bass up front, uncomfortably ringing guitar, and the finest "AUGHHHH" I've heard in a minute. That track's worth the price of admission alone, and the artwork/design is aces, too. One hundo copies only, so go scoop yours from Sorry State (they still have the demo tape, too) posthaste.

Shop Regulars, s/t LP (Merrie Melodies)

Another fine recommendation from Matt K.'s Yellow Green Red here, the debut LP of Shop Regulars after a handful of limited, self-released cassettes that you or I will assuredly not own. That's just as well, because the LP's got plenty to unpack. The band sounds like prime Julian Casablancas fronting Horse Lords (or whatever rigidly asymmetric rock band you'd like) covering the Fall, all disjointed rhythms and knotty guitars paving a path for the most unbothered vocals. You'd be forgiven if you're conjuring visions of bands like Dirty Projectors or other lauded indie bands that felt like homework to listen to from that ill-fitting descriptor, but it gives twice what it takes and even tiptoes into spine-tingling on the 11+ minutes of "Emerson Run Down." The two guitars calling back-and-forth in the middle of that track gets me every time, even though you know where it's going, and it sounds like the rest of the band falls into place in real time and thankfully captures it all on tape. The whole record has this loose-but-tight feel, which in the wrong hands can feel very annoying, but here it's anchored by the performances of the patient vocalist and the drummer ready to fill any available void. Doesn't mean the drummer has to work overtime: the restraint on "7 Winds," which utilizes repetition like The Double, chases the spiraling cut-short guitar riff ad nauseam. There is a bed of real feeling here, not the robotic core that bands trafficking in uncomfortable time signatures, repetition and overlapping movements often do. It all makes Shop Regulars surprisingly durable, even helping me maintain a cool head in unbearable traffic earlier this week. Somehow a portion of the 200 copies are still readily available from the link above, but I can't imagine that'll be the case for long.

Sin Tax, Abnegation 7" (Miracle Cortex)

To the point: here's a 7" record packed with hardcore played at the pace of grindcore, draped in the sneering, smoldering frenzy of first-LP Kriegshög. Sin Tax have dropped my favorite 7" since Healer's Resurgence EP a few years ago, taking the torch of Straightjacket Nation and driving straight toward Valhalla. The vocals take a page out of DX's book, which I'm guessing most don't do because of health or safety concerns, and the band cuts all fat and likely into some blood vessels in service of making this as lean and feral as possible. Only "Dog Eat Dog" lets you come up for air, but good luck getting past all the flailing arms, let alone the razor-wire riff of the title track on the first side. Flattened me the first time and now probably the twentieth time I've listened to it; shouldn't be surprised given as it's from the label that released that under-the-radar Execution 7". Still available from the label for about $20 shipped to the U.S., and I'm available to tell you how dumb it is to spend that money elsewhere. "YOU ALREADY PAY."

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb:

Ben Rosewood never meant to be bound to a vampire succubus, especially one as sexy-yet-terrifying as Eleonore Bettencourt-Devereux, but he has to admit there are some fang-tastic perks…. Werewolf Ben Rosewood is happy with his life. One hundred percent. Everything is fine. His business, Ben’s Plant Emporium, is thriving, and he’s even expanding the shop. His anxiety disorder is…well, it’s been better, but that comes with the territory of running a business and having beastly urges every full moon, right? As for romance—who has the time? Though his family is desperate to see him settled, Ben is fine approaching forty as a single werewolf. But after drunkenly bidding on and winning a supposedly-possessed crystal on eBay one night, he finds himself face-to-face with a beautiful yet angry vampire.

Eleonore Bettencourt-Devereux is a rare breed—a vampire succubus born from two elite European bloodlines during medieval times. Thanks to an evil witch, she’s been stuck in a crystal since she was thirty, forced to obey orders from the possessor of the rock. Eleonore's been dreaming of breaking the spell and severing the witch’s head for centuries. But did this witch really sell her to someone new, and for only ninety-nine cents?

Eleonore would claw this werewolf’s heart out and eat it, if only the binding spell would allow her to. But Eleonore and Ben soon realize they can help each other with both vengeful and less hostile needs. And why not have a little fun along the way?

Review:

A sweet and anxious werewolf looking for his soulmate finds his hands full when he drunkenly bids on a rock that was said to contain a vampire succubus girlfriend in it actually comes true and now the very sexy and terrifying vampire succubus is living with him. Ben Rosewood is a werewolf who is happy with his life, from his thriving plant emporium to his anxiety disorder... the only thing is he wishes he wasn't single. After attending his best friend's wedding and going home and drunkenly bidding on and winning a supposedly-possessed crystal on Ebay that contains a vampire succubus in it. Yet to his surprise it arrives and out comes Elenore Bettencourt-Deverux, a deadly, gorgeous vampire succubus who is determined to kill the witch who stuck her in the crystal and forced her to obey any order from the possessor of the rock. Elenore would rather claw out Ben's heart and eat it if she could than take an order from her new prison warden... except Ben is genuinely confused and shocked to find Elenore in his life. Ben's sweet and caring nature might finally crack Elenore's walls, that is if she can seduce him into letting her into his own heart. Elenore wants revenge but after being trapped in the crystal for so long she is definitely out of touch with the current world. Ben is determined to help free Elenore from her spell while dealing with his own crush on her and his werewolf shifting that he can't stand... oh and also working on helping his sister run for mayor. Two people who are so used to doing things for others finally find themselves opening their hearts up to the one person who could understand them and be the perfect match for them... if only they could break Elenore's curse! This was such a cute read and addition to the series. I loved this couple and just how perfectly matched they were to each other. Elenore and Ben are two sides of the same coin, Elenore is forced to do what people want and Ben runs himself ragged trying to do everything for everyone else, yet when they are together they finally have someone who will take care of them and prioritize their needs. It was a really cute read and I have loved reading this series so much. I hope there are more books set in this universe and series and I will absolutely be reading and recommending them!!

Release Date: August 13,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group | Berkley for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*