#Single Review: Desperately Free

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares Hypnotic "Desperately Free"

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares Hypnotic "Desperately Free" @westernvinyl @pitchperfectpr

Luke Temple is a singer/songwriter, visual artist, producer and creative mastermind behind the genre-defying recording project Art Feynman. Up until recently, Art Feynman has been strictly a solo thing, a way for Temple to explore surprising sonic landscapes without the burdens of identity. However, his forthcoming Art Feynman album Be Good The Crazy Boys changes that quite a bit: Recorded live…

[notquitecanon]

Search History // Poly!141 x Reader

A continuation of this thought

Summary: Reader (based loosely on Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds) has to be face-to-face with the boys for the first time since they started including her in their late-night fantasies. They've decided it's time to take it off-screen and move in IRL.

I'm taggin the peeps who replied to the last part bc I'm desperate for attention lol (in all actuality y'all really encouraged me to actually write thank you!!)

CW: allusions to porn, allusions to female genitalia, they're all horny in the workplace, this is basically workplace harassment but we're excusing it because they're hot and fictional and I say so, no outright smut

Still nsfw though so MDNI pls and thanks

“The 141 just touched down. ETA twenty minutes.” 

Your eyes flicked up from the muted video on your monitor, cheeks flushed red but masked by the light radiating off your screen in your dark office. Thank God, your monitor faced away from the door. A young private was standing in the doorway with a tablet, looking at you for an acknowledgment, probably running about starting preparations for their arrival back on home base. 

“Thank you, private.” You murmured, teeth toying at your thumbnail, chipping the polish. The young soldier gave a short nod at the quiet dismissal and disappeared once again. Your eyes, with embarrassingly blown pupils, flicked back to the video. 

After your discovery two weeks ago, the sites and links you had to review furthered down the rabbit hole. And this video you were currently watching had been one that all the men had been visiting, and revisiting, and revisiting… 

By god, they’d done it. 

Similar build, skin tone only a shade or two different - you could probably share foundation and it wouldn’t look too bad. Hair and eye color so close it was uncanny. And when the woman looked over her shoulder at the mountain of a man hitting it from the back, the angle made the resemblance almost scarily uncanny.  The Had you had a porn career and simply forgotten?- kind of uncanny. 

Sure there were differences- she was a little taller, maybe a bit leaner, with boobs that had definitely had some work done. Tattoos where your skin was bare and vice versa, different piercings. Her voice was pitched different, and her accent was completely different from yours but within three minutes of the video she’d stopped speaking words, so accent didn’t matter much.  But as far as porn actresses went- she might as well be your twin. 

It seemed the 141 had perused her entire.. filmography. Different videos, different scenarios, different partners. They all had videos they seemed to like better than others. Soap seemed to particularly like the POV video where the man had a thick Scottish accent. Gaz had bookmarked a soft-core bondage and forced orgasm scene. Price, a shorter video of an unseen man pushing the actress under a desk for oral, and Ghost… the only link he’d visited was your instagram. It was hard not to let it stroke your ego a little bit. 

God, if you told anyone about this… They’d tell you to file a workplace harassment suit, and maybe a police report.  To start job hunting, and therapist hunting. Distance yourself. You should have been embarrassed or uncomfortable- you knew you should be. That you should feel objectified or disrespected, disgusted. 

But hell, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t send yourself the links and watched them in your free time at home. It was hot- turned you on in an almost concerning way that would set feminism back twenty years if you told anyone. 

The video kept playing on your monitor, one of the videos that Soap had visited more than once (little did you know it was one that Ghost had picked out). A gloved hand smoothly glided down the actress's spine before curving around her throat and pulling her upright on the man’s lap, filthy praises in a British accent playing through your single AirPod. 

“Holy shit…”  You muttered, thighs clenching because if you squinted it really did look like you, even some of her mannerisms. And the rough accent was like a mix of Ghost's and Price’s. 

Abruptly, you shut down the entire monitor completely, ripping out the AirPod and tossing it on the desk. Pressing slightly shaking hands to your too hot face. You needed to get it together, because Price was your boss and the others were your superiors. They’d been gone for a month and a half, and it’d been your voice in their ears guiding them through missions, and you knew you had a flirty disposition, especially from the private safety of your dark little office half way across the world. 

It made sense that their wires got a little crossed, but your wires- like those off all your monitors and hardware- needed to stay neatly organized and separate. Focus. Focus. 

Your nails were bitten to the quick, the bitter taste of old nail polish on the back of your tongue. The skin around your nails was raw from your teeth toying with it as your so intensely focussed on the videos. You needed to get out of this too small, too hot room.  Which is how you found yourself, twenty minutes later, in the communal break room fighting with the vending machine. It was withholding the ice cold water you were desperate for, despite your curses and attempts to jostle the machine. Right as you delivered a frustrated kick to the machine-

“Just the bird we were looking for!” 

It was Kyle’s voice first, that tipped you off to the herd of men entering the space. You almost jumped out of your skin- brain flitting through several scandalous snippets of the videos he’d replayed. His smile was dazzling as always as he came into view, tapping the yellow warning stickers that instructed people not to jostle the machine, with the little illustration of the stick man getting crushed, “What’d the machine ever do to you? It might start fighting back.” 

A gloved hand reached between the two of you, skeleton fingers curled into a fist that delivered a blunt strike, and, like magic, the water bottle fell in to the receptacle. You peeked over your shoulder at Ghost, standing just slightly too close and looking down at you intensely, but not meanly. An easy to miss bit of mirth that was usually reserved for Soap. Thank god you’d bitten your nails to stubs or they would’ve drawn blood from how they were digging into your palms to distract you from the gloved hands and the brutish display of strength. 

Kyle put the drink sweetly in your hands after cracking it for you, like he would do when bringing Ghost or Price something, eyes twinkling like he knew something you didn’t.  Another hand, warm and large clapped gently on your shoulder, pulling you back a step, almost directly into Captain Price’s chest. 

The men shared a look over your head before focussing back on you. 

“Your intel was good.” It was a simple statement, but delivered in a warm, proud tone that felt so much like praise that your stomach flipped a bit, with that warm smile that made him look soft despite the fact he was still in full tac-gear, “They didn’t even see us coming.” 

“They never see you coming, that’s kind of your whole thing.” You tried a joke, your voice a touch strained. His hand was lingering, right on the curve where your shoulder became your neck, fingers flexing into the flesh just so. Just like it did on the boys when he thought others wouldn’t noticed. focus, focus, focus. 

Fortunately, or unfortunately, it was Soap that interrupted the kneading of Price’s fingers. 

“Don’t be so modest, bonnie!” He was laughing as large arms caught you around the waist, lifting and spinning you slightly. His voice so similar to that one Scottish co-star that had done such filthy things to your lookalike, it made your head spin.  Despite your startled yelp and squirming, his grip didn’t waver, “Couldn’t of done it without our lass in the chair.” 

“ ’nough, Johnny,” Ghost called firmly, leaning against the vending machine that they’d all but cornered you against, “Put ‘er down.” 

Soap’s laugh was still good natured as he set you on your feet again, a little roughly for the heels you had on to match your skirt, you wobbled only for Ghost himself to steady you, giving you another intense look, that you had trouble meeting, “ 'e’s right though. Intel was good.” 

They were all staring at you, varying degrees of smirks, eyes a spectrum of mischief and something that was dizzyingly close to hunger.  Unable to keep still, you were squirming, shifting your weigh from foot to foot, fiddling with the wrapper on the bottle. You found your eyes flitting around settling anywhere but their own gaze, cheeks feeling hot, mind full of vile images that you knew they’d seen and enjoyed- ceiling, the exit sign, Johnny’s tac-vest, the floor, the water bottle in your hands. You gulped, eyebrows raising as you puffed a breath, trying desperately to reign yourself in.

“Glad to be of service.” You smiled tightly, nodding meeting each set of eyes briefly and hoping your foundation masked your blush (it didn’t). Jesus Christ, you couldn’t do this.  You couldn’t tell if you felt turned on or awkward or both, but you needed to go. Preferably before you did something that would cost you your job. Your voice was rushed as you squeezed between Gaz and Price, double timing it to the exit, “Enjoy your leave, boys, you deserve it.” 

As you all but fled the building, you typed out a mass base-wide memo email, language formal as you professionally reminded every soldier, specifically four of them, that any website visited by government devices was subject to internal review. 

You swore you could hear them laughing as the memo went out. But maybe that was just your overactive imagination. 

____

You’d gone home for the evening, and then clocked back in the following morning. Surprised to find all of the 141 was still there, debriefing must have ran long. 

“Morning, love.” It was Kyle that greeted you, pressing a cup of coffee into your hands. He looked tired but happy to see you. Soap was with him, eyes bright and grin wide as he whistled lowly, fingers tugging at the hem of your skirt as you passed his seat. 

“Looking good, bonnie,” He smiled devilishly, rubbing the fabric between his fingers before letting go, “Tired of all the green, black, and beige tac gear. Missed seeing something a little… softer.”  

You somewhat doubted that. He seemed to appreciate military khaki when it hugged Gaz’s ass, and he sure didn’t seem to mind an all black tactical ensemble when it was on Ghost. But the compliment still brought heat up your neck, which you coupled with a sip of the hot coffee Gaz had brought you- fixed perfectly the way you liked it. It elicited a pleased sigh as you swallowed, humming in content. 

“Price wants to see you before we all leave. Brought you some new stuff to work on.” Kyle smiled, watching how your expression softened at the taste of the beverage, clearly proud of himself for drawing out that reaction.   

“A present? For me?” You smiled sarcastically back at the prospect of more work added to you caseload, “It’s like Christmas.” 

“You been good this year?” Kyle grinned back, accompanied by Soap chiming, voice low and chiding, “Nah, she’s definitely been naughty.” 

Both Sergeant’s shared a look as you almost choked on another sip of coffee. 

“I’m leaving now.” You shook your head, turning on your heel away from where they were hanging around the rec room, clearly waiting for Price to dismiss them, “Y’all should shower. Or take a nap.” 

“You want us naked?” Kyle questioned, raising his eyebrows at you, leaning back against the wall, standing so very close to Soap, who was sprawled out in his chair, long legs splayed and spread before him as he waggled his eyebrows. “And in bed?” 

Now that was some imagery. Taking the lord’s name in vain you didn’t dignify that with a response other than a huffed, “Leaving now.” 

____

The good thing about Price and Ghost was they were business first. So if you really focussed you could almost ignore Ghost's thigh pressed against yours as you sat beside him in the dark room, reviewing body cam footage. They pointed out different things to you, things to include as you started your next dark web deep dive. 

You could almost ignore how Price’s fingers grazed and lingered on your palm as he gave you a thumb drive to decrypt and analyze, how he stood close enough to you that you had to look at him through your lashes. 

“Has a self destruct program that Gaz didn’t want t' aggravate. Figured it needed your... soft touch.” Price smiled down at you as you curled your fingers around the thumb drive. You had to try pretty hard to ignore the slight emphasis on soft. Ghost seemed to chuckle lowly at your expression at the captain. 

“What’s on there'll point us in the next direction of our next target.” Ghost nodded to you, his leg shifting so it pressed harder against yours. In the guise of stretching out, he’d draped an arm over the back of your chair, the cotton of his gloves half tickling the sensitive skin on the back of your bicep, where the flesh was soft. 

“So don’t screw it up, got it.” You swallowed thickly, shifting so you couldn’t feel his thumb against your skin- it was making it hard to think about hacking and terrorism and military operations.  He took it as an invitation to spread out more, his fingers grazing the exact spot only seconds later. 

“Precisely,” John laughed lowly, his hand moved to your shoulder, back into that sweet curve that was partly your shoulder and partly your neck, and gave it a lingering squeeze, that kind of made you want to melt, “You won’t screw it up, love.” 

The captain gave his Lieutenant a nod, and Ghost quickly stood, his boot giving the toe of your pretty heels a slight nudge as a goodbye before silently stalking out. Price took a seat across from you, leaning back and his arms cross comfortably over his chest.

“I’m having the boys over at mine tonight. A couple of drinks, I’m gonna grill, put the footie on, celebrate another successful mission to start our leave.” Price listed out their plans casually, noting how you squirmed a bit, uncrossing and recrossing your legs as you tugged at the hem of your skirt before continuing, “We want you to come. Couldn’t have done it without you, so you should celebrate it too.” 

“Oh, uh-“ You started before you could think of a good excuse, “I’ll be really busy… with.. with the flash drive. And stuff.” 

“What stuff?” Price rose a single brow, his stare pinning you still as he reached across the table and took the flash drive back, “This can wait.” 

“Files. Coding. Security checks.” You mumbled the first couple aspects of your job that came to mind, the intensity of his gaze making you want to adjust your collar or shrink in your seat. You figured you’d have a couple more sites to clear off their devices, if they’d been sitting around base all night. Your cheeks heated just at the thought. “I’m a little behind. Been… distracted lately."

“Everything all right, love?” He ‘asked’ with at signature warm smile and amused eyes, he seemed to already know the answer to his question, “You’ve been… skittish, since we got back.” 

Your teeth worried the seam of your lips as you considered the question. Skittish, was one way to put it- fidgety, fleeing rooms, avoiding eye contact, barely speaking as opposed to your usual chatter and banter. Your eyes flitted away from his gaze again, swallowing dryly again- geez when did you get so shy, “ ‘m fine. Absolutely fine. Never been better. How’re you?” 

Cringing at your own rambling, you sighed shoulders drooping as he fixed you with another look, and muttered your name in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. It was a look that expected obedience, as his legs shifted into a natural man spread. Your brain flitted back to the video of your look alike being shoved under a desk… 

Him saying your name again, slightly louder but just as bemused drew you back to him, realizing you were staring at his legs, debating if you could fit between his knees and you almost sputtered as you cleared your throat, “I’m fine, really.” 

“Either lie more convincingly or tell me what’s bothering you, sweet.”  Price chuckled, leaving forward against the table, drumming a knuckle against the table. Sweet, that was new. You’d have to add it to the laundry list of nicknames and pet names the boys had for you. You’d always told yourself that it was nothing personal, that British/Scottish people just did that. But this on wasn’t as easy to write off as ‘love’ or ‘bonnie’, average pet names in the UK colloquial, no sweet seemed personal. 

“I’m not bothered.” You glanced away again, nose wrinkling, even though you were bothered- hot and bothered. John Price had a way of drawing details out of people with just a look and a couple of well prodded words.  With a deep breath, you tried to keep your characteristic rambling to a minimum, a losing battle as he starting stroking at his beard with those long fingers- two parts of him that you’d been thinking about way too much lately-, “Listen, I’m not judging, you’re grown men, watch what you want to, but just a reminder that it’s my job and obligation to review every link and site that government devices visit. Which includes at least skimming videos.  In case you didn’t know or maybe forgot that I can and do see these things, so maybe you could pass that along to the boys-“ 

“You can tell 'em yourself. ’s your job, sweet.” Price said firmly. The girlish part of your brain corrected ‘firmly’ to dominantly. Before his demeanor relaxed again, giving you an amused, appraising look again, “At my place. Tonight. 8 o’clock. Not a request.” Shrinking in your chair a bit, hoping the chair hid the way your thighs involuntarily clenched, you couldn’t help but nod and squeak, “Yes, sir.” 

___

Another part here!

Was supposed to have actually smut in this but I got carried away on the build-up, laugh out loud. Maybe a part three or you can just imagine how the little dinner party goes (hint, she's the meal)

Tags: @fruitymoonbeams-blog @viviennevianna @savas-q1 @cringeycookies @lainey-laines @buttercup337 @acosmisted @carqueensworld @tmartin0918 @dreamland08 @sheepdogchick @hidden-wildflowers @lilynotdilly @astrxsee @joopyjup @originalsoulcollector @henhouse-horrors @ohdrey89 @red5tars @cod-z @balletbiscuit @spacecrawllerr @scrumptioussportstoadgarden-blog @blues-of-neptune @monster-effer @yunho-leeknow @ungodlydilf @pluviofleur @jandthecrow @fangtoothgod @coquetterie-dancer @sapphires-and-silver-things @ghost-is-my-bbg @loveergirll @silly-starfish @popkle @honestlymassivetrash @not-mentally-sane @devoetee @beloveds-embrace @jellyamour @simon141price @divinecat

[thecharacterchronicler]

Perform || Coriolanus Snow x Reader || Smut

Outline: You get married to Coriolanus Snow, a powerful man that you don’t even know, and try to adjust to your new life as his wife.

Word count: 3’500

Warnings: Arranged marriage, explicit smut and probably a few mistakes here and there because English isn’t my first language.

Author’s note: This may or may not be a prequel to There Will Come A Ruler. I’m not sure it fits all the details as it wasn’t planned but inspiration suddenly struck me so here it is.

The room went dead silent as soon as you passed the threshold, numerous pairs of eyes turning to stare at you. There wasn’t a single familiar face among the men standing around the large desk, previously hunched over a pile of papers. You knew that they would never be able to tell how intimidated you felt under their severe gazes, you knew how to fake confidence better than anyone… However, two pale blue eyes seemed to be staring right into your soul, as if he knew.

“Great timing, we just finalized the contract.” One of the older man in a suit said, seemingly wanting to break the cold silence that weighted heavily on your shoulders. You nodded without a word, approaching the desk, coming to a stop next to the youngest man, the one with the unsettling eyes.

You turned your head to look at him more closely and his eyes darted away instantly, landing on a distant object at the opposite side of the office. He stood straight, his head held high and his arms crossed behind his back, impassible.

When you entered the room, he seemed to be radiating with light in the darkness of the office, surrounded by men in boring black suits while his was made out of an immaculate white fabric. Combined with the paleness of his skin and his carefully combed back blond curls, he resembled the image of an angel you had seen on a very ancient painting once. But his indifference towards you, and the icy stare he gave you, made it clear that you wouldn’t find solace in him.

“I reviewed the contract at your family’s request and made sure everything is in your best interest.” The man who had spoken to you already said again, handing you the very last page of the pile of documents on the table and an elegant pen to sign it with.

You didn’t doubt that the lawyer your family had hired was competent and probably too scared by them to dare make a mistake while establishing a contract in your name with an army of other lawyers in the room but you still felt compelled to take a look at the full file in front of you, ignoring the pen he was still holding for you to take.

Maybe it was a desperate attempt to gain time on your part more than a necessity to double check the terms and conditions of the agreement you were meant to sign but, as you glanced towards the man in white, you were pretty sure you saw the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, although he was still determined to not look at you directly.

Some clauses written on the paper seemed reasonable, others were more restrictive and some downright affected your freedom and free will but you knew you wouldn’t be able to negotiate anything better. You wouldn’t dare try anyway, everyone had been telling you what a privilege it was for you and what an honor it was for your family to be offered such an opportunity. Even in the high society of the Capitol, it didn’t happen often for a girl who had just graduated from the Academy to secure such an interesting match. It was even more rare that such a match didn’t require to be seduced in order to arrange a marriage...

“Everything seems in order.” You finally said, after taking your time to read each paragraph of the contract, ignoring the lawyers’ growing frustration and impatience around you.

“I can attest that it is.” The one lawyer meant to be on your side confirmed and, even if you felt the urge to tell him that he could have done better - or at least come to an agreement that wouldn’t force you to produce heirs in a few years - you quietly nodded, taking the pen he was offering you and writing your name at the bottom of the last page.

You paused for a moment, admiring your handwriting in black ink, a small gesture that sealed your future.

It was a privilege. An honor. One that you couldn’t refuse.

You took a step back and turned to the man in white, handing him the pen. He took it without looking at you, hunching his tall frame over the desk to sign his name next to yours in elegant calligraphied letters.

Coriolanus Snow.

You managed to take a deep but silent breath, the implications of the contract you had both signed downing on you. Your life was about to change forever, you’d have to leave your home, your family, everything and start a whole new life, with a man you didn’t even know. He was a complete stranger to you, all you knew about him was that he was the youngest head game maker for the Hunger Games in history, the protégé of Doctor Gaul herself and that, as if it wasn’t enough already, he had announced that he’d be campaigning to become the next president of Panem.

“Well, I hope you’ll be satisfied with the agreement, Mrs Snow.” Your lawyer said, but you didn’t realize right away that you were the one he was addressing, your new last name sounding foreign.

You forced a smile at him, watching as all the men slowly walked out of the office, leaving you on your own with your new husband. A shiver ran down your spine as the door closed behind them, a cold breeze caressing your skin. Coriolanus finally turned to face you, his icy eyes staring into your soul once again.

“I’ll meet you at the altar in three days.” He declared, emotionless. You quietly nodded, too intimidated to say a word. You knew that - much like the official documents you had signed already making you his wife - your wedding ceremony would be nothing like you envisioned it to be.

Time flew by after that. You had spent it feeling mostly overwhelmed by the amount of things you were expected to do before the ceremony. You had to pack your belongings, decide what you’d take with you to your husband’s manor and what could be left behind, attend various appointments meant to get you to beauty base zero before your very public wedding and - even if you didn’t have a say in the preparations - you still had to make sure everything would look flawless on the big day, including yourself.

Your family’s chauffeur drove you to the venue early in the morning where a team of people were ready to take care of your hair, nails and makeup and would help you get into the gorgeous white dress that was selected for you by your new husband and his own team. You watched as your reflection kept changing in the mirror in front of you, making you look like a glamorous bride… The only thing missing to such a perfect portrait was a genuine glint of happiness in your eyes.

Once you were ready to face the crowd of onlookers, news reporters and photographers posted outside the venue - hoping to catch a glimpse of the newlyweds on their way out after the ceremony - the people who had prepared you left, leaving you on your own in the luxurious suit, barely recognizing the person facing you in the mirror.

The short hour before the ceremony felt like agony, your hands shaking in fear of not being good enough to live up to everyone’s expectations and your chest constricted with anxiety. You couldn’t help but wonder what people would think of you when they’ll see you in your bridal attire. Would they think you were a good match for a man as important as Coriolanus Snow ? See you as worthy to potentially become the First Lady of Panem ? Would they think you were a cute couple, or see you as an ill match ? And what about him ? Would he find you beautiful when you’ll walk down the aisle to him ?

A firm knock on the door saved you from drowning in your anxious thoughts. You were expecting your family’s lawyer to come by and give you a few advices on how to live your new life without inadvertently breaking some of the terms of the contract you had signed. You also knew the wedding organizer would show up to give you a few pointers for the ceremony and your public appearance after it…

But, when you opened the door, a surprised gasp escaped your lips. Coriolanus was devastingly handsome in a tailored white suit, more fitting and luxurious than the one he wore when you had met him three days earlier. There wasn’t a single strand of his blond hair out of place, not a trace of dark circles under his blue eyes while your team had spent almost an entire hour trying to conceal yours after the sleepless nights you had had.

He smiled at you in a way you weren’t certain was genuine and held up a huge bouquet of white roses, tied together by a blood red satin ribbon. You understood it was yours to walk down the aisle with, the flowers matching the one pinned to the lapel of his jacket.

“Thank you.” You said, as you took the flowers. He was looking at you without any hint of admiration in his gaze, as if the hours your team had spent on your hair and makeup and the expensive wedding gown you were wearing didn’t affect him at all. As if he still couldn’t care less about you… “I’ve heard it’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.”

He huffed a mocking laughter at your words.

“Good thing we’re already legally married then.” He countered, the reminder adding to the panic in the pit of your stomach. “This ceremony is just meant to give them a good show.”

You knew that, of course. It was your duty - as his wife - to publicly appear by his side and pretend that you were overjoyed about it all. You were meant to help him build a flawless reputation so that he may eventually become president one day and you knew that his popularity was determined by how much the people could relate to him, or at least feel included in parts of his life. Soon, you’d be introduced to them as Mrs Snow and you couldn’t afford to mess up.

You turned around to place the beautiful - but surprisingly heavy - bouquet of roses on the vanity, hearing the door closing behind your back. When you looked over your shoulder, he was standing behind you, clearly expecting something from you although you weren’t sure what.

It was the first time you were fully alone with him, in such proximity to each other, and his intimidating posture added to the way his eyes darkened when they met yours made you feel quite weary, as if you were suddenly in some kind of imminent danger.

“Now turn around so I can make sure you’re ready.” He demanded, his voice slightly lower than usual.

You obeyed without a word, slowly spinning around twice as you felt the weight of his analyzing stare on you, making your body tingle with an odd electric sensation. Once you were face to face with him again, you couldn’t tell if he was satisfied or not by the way you looked, his expression serious and unreadable. A heavy silence lingered between you as you desperately hoped to hear a few words of affirmation to boost your confidence a bit… He didn’t say any but he took a step closer, his face closer to yours than what would be deemed acceptable between two strangers. He pushed a strand of hair away from your forehead, his eyes briefly plunging into yours before his hand traveled down to your mouth. He traced your lips with his thumb, fading out your lipstick slightly.

“I hope you paid attention to the wedding night clause on our contract.” He spoke, almost in a whisper. “Because as soon as we’ll be done performing for the crowd, I’m going to make you mine.”

Your body shuddered in response, and you weren’t quite sure if it was because it made you nervous or if because such a promise actually excited you somehow. You didn’t have time to think about it anyway, another knock on the door forcing you apart. The wedding organizer announced that the ceremony was about to start, forcing Coriolanus out of your suite, visibly oblivious to the tension that tainted the atmosphere between you. You took a deep breath to compose yourself, grabbed your bouquet and folllwed them out, ready to perform.

You spent the whole ceremony in a daze, not quite realizing what was happening or what anyone was saying. But you still managed to say the one thing everyone expected of you; I do. You smiled as the crowd erupted in cheers, made sure to keep your eyes open despite the blinding flashing lights of the cameras on you and took the time to greet everyone of importance that was in attendance that day. When your new husband had to kiss you in front of hundred of curious faces staring at both of you, he did it softly and chastely which almost felt a bit disappointing considering the authority and confidence he had spoken with earlier. But it sure was a cute picture for the tabloids.

You returned to the mansion he owned in the most expensive and luxurious area of the Capitol and were showed to your new bedroom by a maid, noting how your belongings had already been unpacked and organized to make you feel at home. It was only after she helped you out of your wedding gown and into a more practical and relaxed dress that you realized that this bedroom was yours and yours only. There wasn’t a single item that looked like it could belong to your new husband, none of his clothes in the dressing room, none of the products he put on his hair to keep them perfectly combed back throughout the day in the bathroom. And, even though this man was still a complete stranger to you, you still felt a hint of disappointment at the realization that he wasn’t planning on spending any of his time with you if none of his potential supporters could witness it.

He still had been thoughtful enough to ask another one of his employees to deliver a black box to your bedroom, an unexpected wedding present. You opened it as soon as you were all alone and your eyes widened in shock, discovering some lingerie made out of the thinnest and softest lace you ever touched. It was a gorgeous set that complimented your skin tone so well, it almost looked like it had been made specifically for you.

You tried the pieces on, surprised to see how each of them fitted you perfectly and comfortably. However, even if you felt pretty good in your new lingerie, you felt too awkward to go find your husband with nothing else on, so you pulled your dress back over the lace, hiding everything from view, before you walked out of your bedroom, determined to find Coriolanus in the huge mansion you now shared with him.

You easily found him downstairs, sitting on a teal sofa in front of a modern chimney. He was reading with his ankle resting on top of his knee. He looked up to you as soon as you stepped into the living room, immediately folding his newspaper to give you his full attention.

“Is your new bedroom at your convenience ?” He asked, politely.

“Absolutely.” You replied, nervously fidgeting with your hands as you stood in front of him. “And thank you for the wedding present.”

“Does it fit you ?”

“Yes, perfectly.”

“Take off your clothes then.” He demanded, and you wondered how he managed to sound so intimidating despite sitting down and you, towering over him.

“Here ? Now ?” You exclaimed, looking around for house employees.

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” He declared, unwavering. “So take them off or I will.”

You did as he requested, nervously removing your casual dress so that you stood in nothing but your new lingerie in front of him. His icy gaze roamed your body from head to toe, his expression still too closed off to tell if he liked what he saw or not.

He stood up, bringing his hand to your chest and tracing the outline of the lace over your breast with a finger. Goosebumps rose on your skin in reaction, your heart beating faster so close to where he was touching you.

“Turn.” He commanded and you obeyed, feeling slightly more confident in this perfectly fitting set than you did in your wedding dress. You felt his hands on your body again, tugging the lower part of the ensemble down your thighs agonizingly slowly. Did it mean he didn’t like it ? Or was he simply curious to see what was underneath the thin lace fabric ? “Lie down.”

He gestured to the couch he was sitting on a minute ago. You followed his command, your head resting on a soft satin pillow and your knees pulled back to you to leave him enough room to join you. He sat down, fully removing the piece of underwear around your thighs and you shivered when he pushed your knees apart, once again analyzing your body with a critical gaze.

He leaned forward and you gasped when you felt the warmth and wetness of his tongue between your folds, tracing a few circles around your clit before moving down to your entrance. He sat back straight, an amused grin on his face as he licked his glistening lips and took in the shocked expression on your face.

“I needed to know how my wife tastes.” He explained, your body tingling with excitement. He opened up his trousers, pulling his long and hard erection out. Your eyes widened, taking in his size, which seemed to amuse him yet again. “You can take it.”

He sounded pretty confident about that but you weren’t so sure. You didn’t get the chance to protest though, because he immediately moved to align himself up with your entrance and pushed his tip through it without hesitation.

You gasped at the burning sensation, your fingers tightening around the edges of the couch. A satisfied groan rumbled in his throat as he kept pushing himself in, inch by inch until he was fully buried inside you and you couldn’t remember how to breathe correctly.

It wasn’t as pleasant to you as it seemed to be to him at first, your walls still stretching to accommodate his girth and length while he took advantage of the tighteness ensnaring him to push himself as deeply as he could.

It was too much. Way too much. But, just as you considered asking him to pause, suddenly your body stopped resisting him, welcoming him instead, allowing his cock to slide back and forth in rythym with the way he rolled his hips against you, causing a warm and tingly sensation to bubble up deep in your core.

You looked at him, holding himself above you with his strong arms on each side of the couch, his muscles carved under his pale skin. A blond lock of hair bouncing against his forehead in synch with his movements and his eyes were glued to yours, attentive to how your traits changed each time he modified the pace of his thrusts.

Soon, it felt like too much again, but in a good way. You felt close to imploding from how good it felt to have him hitting inside you at a relentless rythym.

You turned your head to the side, hoping the pillow would help silence your moans, worried that every employee in the mansion might hear the uncontrollable sounds of pleasure that kept resonating inside the living room.

“Look at me.” He immediately ordered, not waiting for you to obey as his hand flew to your face, turning your head so that you’d face him again. His fingers then dropped lower, wrapping around your neck, causing the whimpers escaping from your mouth to sound a lot more desperate. “I want to see what you’ll look like when you’ll come as I’ll fill you up.”

A few more thrusts of his hips, his tip hitting the perfect spot inside of you and you felt your whole body contracting intensely, your core tightening around him as you cried out in pleasure, closing your eyes and your mouth dropping open in shock at the intensity of the wave of sheer bliss that ran through your whole body.

“So beautiful.” He commented, his eyes fixed on you in genuine admiration this time. His labored breaths got louder and he climaxed, his erection throbbing as it spurt out a load of hot cum deep inside you.

♡ - (( Tip Jar )) - ♡

[buggybambi]

Ooo if you’re still looking for request ideas, I have one!!

Can I please request a Carmy x fem!single Mom!reader where Y/n is new to Chicago and is looking for somewhere to eat with her two year old daughter, and she finds The Beef/The Bear. She’s super exhausted and has her hands full, and also trying to order when her daughter runs into the kitchen before Y/n can grab her, Y/n running back to get her but Carmy gets to her daughter first and picks her up. Y/n would be sooo mortified and apologizing so much, but Carmen is super sweet and comps her meal (much to her surprise) and the staff are super sweet with her daughter 🤧

Y/n frequently visiting the restaurant after that to eat and also see her fav, most adorable (hot) chef 🥹

haley baby | carmen berzatto

thanks for requesting this! - not proofread - nav post - cw: mom/fem!reader, single!mom!reader

Being a single mother, you were used to the chaos that mornings brought. Being a single mom in a completely unfamiliar town was a new ballpark.

Your daughter, Haley, was in that stage of being picky with what she likes. Her favorite thing was French fries, and you happened to find (thanks to a quick online search) a spot with the “best fries in Chicago”, according to one review.

Well, dianeivans392, you would have to be the judge of that statement.

Haley had also been in the stage of running ahead of you. Baby pink sneakers stepping against the pavement as you jogged behind her, you guided her inside the sandwich shop. “You gotta stay by mama, okay?” You ask softly before you place in the order.

You should have known once you started paying your daughter would have taken the opportunity to run into the back. Letting out a small yelp, you hurriedly put your items back into your purse, prepared to be yelled at by whoever’s back there.

Instead, less then a minute later, a man comes out with Haley in his arms. She seems infatuated by him, watching his every movement. You don't blame her. Part of you wants to be worried because some random man has your child in his arms.

The other part of you, the part that swears his eyes are having a secret conversation with yours, tells that first part to pipe down.

"I'm so sorry about her, she's been in this phase of running and all the books say to just let her explore but they don't account for dangerous environments for a child, and I looked away for one second and-" your apologetic ramble was cut short by the man smiling. "It's okay. I don't mind, really." He hands Haley back over to you, holding his hand out. "I'm Carmen."

You shake his hand before focusing on your daughter, pushing some of her light blonde curls out of her face. "I'm Y/N." You're cautious. "Thanks for grabbing her." You say with a nod, and he smiles. “No worries. She seems fun.” He comments.

You laugh. “That doesn’t begin to describe her.” You comment, remembering the food you’re meant to pay for. You grab out your card, about to hand it to the guy behind the counter before Carmen clears his throat. He steps behind the counter, whispering something in the cashier’s ear. Hitting a few buttons on the register, the cashier gives you a smile as Carmen walks to the back. “Your food will be out soon.”

You stare at him, about to question what happened until the blue eyed .. stranger, guardian angel, whatever he seems to be, returns. A bag in hand, two boxes of fries in hand. “For you, m’lady.”

You look at the bag, shaking your head. “I can’t accept these for free, Carmen-”

“You are. I’m not offering, I’m telling you. Take them.” He insists. And you aren’t going to argue when he looks at you with this desperation in his eyes.

You thank him again and take the bag, adjusting your daughter on your hip.

──

From then on, you were one of the regulars. You’d let the other staff come and say hi to your daughter, even growing close with Natalie, Carmen’s sister, who fell in love with your daughter.

You celebrated a lot with them. Haley’s third birthday, they were in attendance. They were there when you got a promotion at work, when you needed someone’s shoulder to cry on.

Not to mention, you and Carmen were undeniably flirting with each other everytime you spoke. It wasn’t a shock when he asked you on a date - a date that consisted of him cooking for you in your apartment while Haley slept in her bedroom.

[starlightsuffered]

Christmas Retreat (p1)

Info - shy reader, reader with curly thick hair, British reader, mention of cigars and ass

I was so happy to finally get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I couldn’t believe I’d been fortunate enough to win a several week, all expenses paid vacation to a small winter resort.

I was ready to get away from the feelings the holidays brought up. I’d let my family know I was taking this amazing opportunity and would be almost completely disconnecting. I promised my mum would get a postcard but that was about it.

I didn’t know how much service I would get anyway, but I liked that I wouldn’t feel too pressed to check in.

I needed this break from real life. I imagined the point of this free gift was an advertising mechanism. Let people stay for free and test all their amenities, then blast the reviews everywhere for business.

I hadn’t expected to win, but I’d been walking home from work one day and the small resort had looked so cozy it made my heart ache. On a whim I’d signed up. I was alerted a month later that I had been selected. It was the sort of thing that did not happen to me.

On the train ride I listened to Hozier and watched the scenery. We were going far into the country. The snow was getting deeper and building more scarce. Finally, we were at the adorable cottage looking resort.

I was bundled off the train and made the trek to the door of the place. I lifted my hand awkwardly and knocked.

An older woman with bleach blonde hair and very few wrinkles though I was sure she was older than fifty, opened the door. She was beaming at me immediately.

“Come in, come in!” She said cheerily. I could already tell she was one of those people who was happy all the time. This would be a bit taxing.

“Ur thank you,” I nodded. I made my way into the warm room. Everything was red and gold and white. It all looked so warm and nice. I couldn’t believe how similar to the pictures it was.

“You can call me Margret,” the cheery lady explained. She was listing things off at a rapid pace that I truthfully wasnt paying attention to.

Many people were already here. I guessed they were the other winners. A very tall older gentleman with deep frown lines was the closest to me. Two women with dark hair were holding hands and whispering. In fact, many of these people seemed to be couples. I counted at least five pairs I assumed were together. Among the singles was a woman with a great ass and cranberry coloured lips. There was a very anxious looking older woman who made me think of a grandmother.

“Y/n, we’re so glad you’re here, come come over to the couches,” Margret said. She took my arm in a surprisingly tough grip. She shoved me down beside the older gentleman. He smelled like dust and cigars.

“Welcome all, I know a few people are in the kitchen making some tea -“ Margret began. I realised suddenly that she was American. I was curious why an American was running this but I wanted to listen to the instructions this time.

“Anyway, I’m sure you’re all super excited for this break. Lovely, lovely weeks away from the hustle and bustle of real life and into a winter wonderland.”

Margret actually clapped and jumped up and down. I was a bit turned off by the over the top enthusiasm. However, it seemed genuine and not faked.

“Now, before we begin our first activity, I’d love for everyone to please mingle and meet,” she exclaimed. That seemed to be our signal. People were getting up and talking. They shook hands and smiled and did many things I didn’t want to do.

I hopped up and made my way to the corner of the room. I got out my phone and pretended I was being very busy. I desperate wanted to put in my AirPods so no one would approach me.

“Hey,” said a deep voice. I looked up and nearly tripped. The most gorgeous man I’d ever seen was standing in front of me.

“I’m Timothée,” he said with a crooked smile. His hand was outstretched. I almost wanted to look behind me to see if he were talking to someone else; but I was against a wall.

He was somewhat tall, and he had gorgeous flawless skin. His baggy sweater didn’t hide his slender figure. His hair was curly like mine and his eyes were soft and green. He looked like a prince. His jaw was strong and he was just the definition of handsome.

“Y/n,” I stuttered. I took his hand. I felt something jolt inside me as he shook it. My heart and mind were racing.

“What brings you here?” He asked. He lifted a tea cup that had candy canes on him. I wanted to lick the rim where his lips had touched.

“I w-won a contest,” I said.

“Oh nice, I paid,” he chuckled. “It looked cozy and I was happy to get away from things.”

“Me too,” I agreed. I couldn’t believe he was talking to me. As I looked around to see his other options. The girl with the nice ass was checking out the back of Timothee. He must have a nice ass too. I wanted to look now.

“You’ve got a lot of hair, bet it keeps you warm in this weather,” Timothée chuckled. I was beet red now. I did have very thick and long hair.

“Kinda,” I said awkwardly.

“You seem interesting though, you’ve got a good vibe,” he nodded to himself. He quirked his head to the side and his eyes ran up and down me. I wanted to shrink into myself or blend into the wallpaper.

“We’re like the same age and both here alone. We should hang out. It’d be nice to not be strangers with everyone.”

I was too in shock to answer before Margret trilled out an order to finish up. She gathered us all near the fire place. I was hot enough as it was when Timothee chose to stand next to me.

“As you can see we have some LOVELY trees here,” Margret pointed to some evergreens. “We are going to have teams and have a tree decorating contest for a prize!”

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming @lovelyrocker

[kaija-rayne-author]

Some thoughts on Dragon Age Veilguard a couple weeks after playing/reviewing it.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note: My reviews for DA and my blog posts about DAV in particular aren't edited. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

It's been 16 days since I finished DAV.

And sadly, my opinion still hasn't changed. Especially after learning about Joplin from my friend's artbook. (Joplin is the original concept and art concepts for the game. It had so much we were all really desperate to see. It was gorgeous. And they scrapped it.)

I don't know why they scrapped it, it was exactly what so many of us wanted.

Honestly? I don't care why. I'm sick of all the excuses people keep making for BioWare turning out such a shitty game.

Were there reasons and difficulties I don't know and will never know about? There usually are.

But those things are honestly irrelevant when it comes to producing a quality product.

I work my ever loving ass off to make sure my books are good. And I don't have a team to help me and a 250 million dollar budget. I do everything myself because I have to.

Indie studios turn out fantastic games with cool worlds, good fighting systems, and interesting monsters all the time. With some help and some budget, sure. But not likely on the scale of what they had for DAV.

I'm both a creator and an editor. When you're making a product for sale, it's incredibly foolish to change a series title too much from what worked before. Sure, fix problems, streamline stuff, but people generally don't play RPGs for anything past the worldbuilding, writing, story, and characters. There's action RPGs, sure. I'm playing one now and loving it (Greedfall).

It's a solid RPG that feels like an RPG. (DAV did not.) The fighting system works. The companions are actually useful. They kill bad guys all by themselves! It's quite refreshing tbh.

When you're creating something for fun, sure, do what the fuck ever you want as long as it isn't harmful to someone else. (Don’t put words in my mouth. By harmful, I mean specifically things like racism, sexism, ableism etc. Not whether someone dislikes the colour green and thinks the word 'triggered' means unhappy or uncomfortable. It doesn't. It's specifically a needed mental health term.)

When you're creating a product for sale, you make decisions. IE. I chose to write a reverse harem series. That's a choice influenced by the business reality that my queer books hardly sell at all.

I still love the characters and world I built, still love the plot etc. But it was still a decision on my part. Because my work of words is my only income. I'm disabled and recovering from a pulmonary embolism. My partner is recovering from a broken back and has at least one, possibly two more surgeries to go. We don't get very much help from anywhere. Money is so tight it squeaks. I'm hoping with the decision to write m/f reverse harem, my sales will improve (They already have with only two books out. Third before end of year.)

So. No. No more excuses for BioWare. They've always, from rumour, had a lot of control over the games they make, even if EA does pollute the studio by owning it.

Someone made the choices that resulted in such a shitty game. Someone approved the terrible (in some cases, racist, sexist, and ableist) writing. Someone thought the editing was just fine (it really really is not).

Someone (likely Epler given what he's said in interviews) decided that it was a good idea to Disney-fie the most recent addition to an adult, dark fantasy game that has historically delivered a lot of horror elements. While somehow condescending to kids at the same time.

Someone decided to remove so many of those dark fantasy elements. It's especially obvious in the not-fucking-darkspawn. They made them goofy, not scary and vaguely horror inspiring. But it's all throughout the game.

Someone made decisions. Those decisions made an awful game.

Someone decided tying your companions' skill points acquisition to their level of bond with you was a good idea. Maybe it looked good on paper. I don’t honestly care. It made it nigh impossible to get them high enough to be actually useful. Meaning your OP character always has aggro. Fine, I guess, if you're a tank player, but what about the rest of us?

Someone decided to remove blood splatter from a freaking BioWare game.

Someone decided to go with that wretched art style.

Someone decided nerfing the rogue class was a good idea. Why even have them? They're just light skirmishers, not rogues. Without, y'know, the rogue skills that make a rogue.

It was a decision, each and every time.

Someone decided everything about that game.

So miss me with the excuses.

I would like actual reasons, but I highly doubt we'll ever get them.

Someone made unwise and often foolish decisions during development of DAV. The results are clear.

Simply by the fact they aren't releasing sales numbers... that indicates it's probably not doing well. Larian basically called their earnings for BG3 out weekly.

It mostly just makes me sad now. DAV could've been fantastic. Because of decisions human beings in positions of power made, DAV, while having some good parts, just sucks.

[uh-velkommen]

Every review I saw for Squid Game season 2 was negative-- saying it was slow, drawn out, or boring and as someone who wasn't particularly enamored with season 1 the way everyone else was, I'm here to say

You are all liars.

Season 2 was as perfect of a follow-up to a season 1 that anyone could ask for. It had the same quality of writing, directing, and acting. The tone was a little confusing at times as this season felt a bit more comical and it didnt have the same scary, desperate feeling that season one gave you but that was entirely due to the set of people participating in the games this time around. That's what I really enjoyed about this season, actually. I worried that having us sit through the exact same games, telling us the exact same message again, would be boring. But this group of folks were entirely different and watching Player 456 try his hardest to save the people, just to sit back and hear them ask how many people died in the last game and then go "that's not enough!" for the sake of raising everyone's take home pay was brilliant.

I feel like the last season really focused on how trapped the players were. Showing that though they knew the stakes, they still tried to hold onto their humanity. It's what gave Gi-hun the motivation to put a stop to the games. But season 2 highlights humanity's selfishness. At times, I questioned why he wanted to keep trying. I went, "This batch is hopeless. Let them die. It's what they voted for." And that picking and choosing of who deserves to live and die is exactly what the games are doing. Gi-hun sees the people around him and falters for a second at their behavior, but in the end, he still wants to save as many people as he can.

Raising the stakes by allowing them to vote after every single game was a great addition because it showed how the people who survived had no problem saying, "One more game!" not considering the people who didn't or won't be able to survive. Unlike the last batch, this group wasn't so eager to kill others in the dormitory to win more money, this time, their free for all was a result of bipartisan voting. There stood a group of people who were acting from a sense of morality, and it was getting in the way of their chance at wealth.

As for the pacing, sure, some scenes and dialogue lingered on a bit longer than they needed to but what I think people were actually complaining about was the fact that we don't spend as much time IN the games as we did in season one. Which says a lot about what people took away from this series. It's the sensationalization of the games themselves. People don't remember character motivations or backstories from season 1. They just remember the red-light green-light song. There were no continued conversations about how people risk their lives turning to loan sharks because systems in place make it impossible to afford to live. Instead, people are talking about how to cook the perfect dalgona. People are buying merchandise instead of protesting. Taking the whole message behind the show and burying it under sweets and nostalgia. So naturally, with season 2, these people were expecting more fun and games, but because the season had its own climax that it was building towards, aside from the games, people grew bored of watching.

It's so backwards because people usually hate when season twos just rehash or repackage what happened in season one. But this time around that's what they wanted, to see people play their lives away. They've categorized the series under a different genre. It's no longer a social commentary to them, it's a survival horror. Pure entertainment.

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

So i ve done the main story in infinity nikki and im gonna stop playin now, before i squeeze the game dry of content and have nothing (new) to do on release.

Time for a lil review/thoughts post

I m not gonna review every single mechanic in the game, simply things that stood out to me or that i wanna talk about. I also wont add more images, i kinda want ppl to see the world for themselves... i ll share more when the game comes out tho.

There s a lot of text under this. Tldr, i like the game i think it's a solid, enjoyable experience with a good gameplay loop, the story isn't for me, and i'll keep playin of course. And u should try it too if ur device wont blow itself up tryin to run it.

Dress up

The bread and butter of Nikki games... it's good as usual. Game doesn't shy away from long skirts or coat tails or complicated ballgowns just cuz nikki can run and jump and dash now and i'm very happy bout that. There's some clipping issues once in a while, but it's nothing major and the clothes we do have in the game are lovely. There s an evolution system for some of the sets, which makes em a diff color.... usually they can evolve once, but i saw Three extra evolutions for one of the UR sets and that scares me. Bcs to evolve them u have to craft the suit again. So u have to pull 4 copies of a suit to max it out..

Combat

Game's definitely succeeding in its quest for being cozy. There's no real stakes, combat isn't difficult in the slightest but i do welcome it- super simple but it's pretty fun regardless. The boss fights were surprisingly creative and fun for what they are, it's just unfortunate that you have to do them more than once or twice (crafting mats)- but they do change what the boss does so it's different depending on what mat u are farming for... and u can claim double or triple or however much stamina u got-le of the mat after u complete it once. So that s rly nice.

Exploration

I actually think it's really really good. Again this isn't a difficult or complicated game, not yet i guess... but with the major goal being "get new clothes" and "take pretty pictures maybe", the open world feels actively engaging to participate in. There's collectibles everywhere, little challenges you can do that are diverse but quick, styling battles, collecting everythin from animals fur to bugs to fish, and allll of this brings u closer to that never ending goal of woo more clothes.

However even if a challenge doesnt give you a blueprint, it's still just. Really Nice to exist in this world. It's very whimsical, as expected of Lilith, and the world has a combination of realism and cartoon artstyle that is just soso appealing to me. It's genuinely how i would've imagined miraland to look in 3d. Shame it's not the same miraland we know..

Story

Hmm... silly is one word i could use for it. Cute also. The story isn't doin anythin bad per se, and i did start skippin dialogue near the end w the pieceys because i want to keep at least Some part of the story for the game's release... but i get the gist of it, and it s just not my thing.

It feels like a story made for children, and it definitely would get a G rating. Easy and simple to follow, there's moments of tension or sadness sure but with the antagonist bein a literal babie lookin cutey fairy with a grown man's voice, or the creatures that i'm interacting with are a bunch of. Fuckin weird lookin big eyed balls of fabric that look closer to plushies than somethin Alive... it's all so silly and dramatic sometimes i can t help but cringe.

Part of it is a me problem, if u just open ur heart and free urself from the cringe the story is fine. It's just a little too kiddy for me and i so desperately hope it won't stay like this forever. My prayers might be answered though, there's a whole war beyond the borders and we have refugees around... shit's lookin bad for Umbrosa.

Other things i noticed that i liked:

The effect on nikki's skin when it's raining, she actually has water dripping down her face... its so cool

Momo capes are actually kinda neat ngl. Especially cuz the fucker follows u around everywhere, at least i can bedazzle him

Npc models look really good im a fan. They do suffer from "everyone is very beautiful" syndrome, which makes some of the npc villains look/sound ridiculous, but they have kid-teen-adult-elderly versions of models (i never see teen models in these games! Its cool!) And some body variation. The grandmas look so lovely i cry

The dark skin tone is really dark, and it looks quite nice and natural.

The lighting engine in this game is just rly good in general. God bless UE5

The edges of the map where there s forest, which u obv cant go thru, the forest is made to be darker, thicker.... i m a huge fan of this idk y. It's not just *invisible wall in front of an open field* nopee cant go there lets explore that area later tee hee. And it looks good to boot.

Camera function is p robust, has more options for changin brightness/saturation/contrast etc which i feel Shining Nikki lacks.

Some of the creature designs are so good man i looove themm <3.... the pieces are awful tho. Ok creature design is a hit and miss sometimes but the stray hatty? Peak. All the weirdy fashionable animals? Peak.

Bein able to quick switch thru ur saved sets while in the overworld is real neat

Oke that was it. Bye

[poisonf0rest]

𝕻𝖔𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓'𝖘 2024 In Review

⋅♱⋅ thank you @reilemon for the tag, this seems like fun so here we go~

⋅♱⋅ in all honesty building more of a community here clearly has to take priority since I don't quite know who to tag 😃 but if you are another writer or simply come across this feel free to join and wave hello

Total number of fics: 6 Total word count: roughly 137,000

𝕺𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖘:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Honestly I thought my writing days were over after I stopped getting inspired by Genshin- lack of interesting storyline, lack of interesting characters, racism, and more. My then-considered magnum opus of 掠夺 or The Raven was 118k words long and as the excitement over that project fizzled out I didn't think my muse would grant me again.

Then came Damnation, then came Love and Deepspace- or Rafayel, more specifically.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

To the Vows We Made in Blood (Damnation)

I'm fully expecting to both finish it and perhaps remix it with some original novels I've begun to research about classic angel, seven deadly sins, and even more gothic to publish it as an original book.

Did you take any writing risks this year?

I didn't write anything new until May of this 2024 which is insane to me- to have a limb such as my writing cut off from me for so long feels downright impossible now. So writing again was a risk and the reward.

𝕱𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖒𝖞 𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖞𝖊𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌, 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖘…

My best story of this year:

Love Me Through Every Lifetime - personal favorite as brainworms corrupted me for WEEKS before I gave in

My most popular story of this year: 

The Best Dreams Come in Threes (4.7k notes) - y'all wilding.

Love Me Through Every Lifetime (9.0k kudos) - also wilding but this time on ao3

Story with the single sexiest moment:

For the sake of preventing repetition I'll treat this one as Lines you want immortalized:

‘Ah,’ you laugh, a cold, bitter sound. ‘We know this path well. For there is none other that leads to such deplorable ruin of men and gods alike. There is no curse more twisted than love.’ This time when the Beast speaks, it sounds a lot like pleas. And yet you know there is nothing you can do for him, for history moves in vicious cycles, and not even the stars can defy destiny.

Which is to say, give me every reason not to stay, and I will love your monsters regardless. Which is to say, I still dream of kissing your claws and teeth. Which is to say, I love you. 

Of course it took something holy to create this kind of a hell. 

“You call it knowledge, I see only carnage.” “And the dog can stare at language so long as it desires, but it shall never speak.” “Then howl.”

He crawls, dragging up the path with his arm until he finally feels pain explode below his hip. His right leg begins growing back its knee, raw sinews exposed and throbbing as they scrape against the cobblestone. He crawls, like a fallen angel, like a dog. He crawls until he returns to you.

All from Damnation

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

hehe I'm copying the best quotes from y'all, enjoy:

The progression from "Don’t move or breathe in my direction either.” to getting eggified gets me every time. 

“Shh, it’s okay, I’ll defy your silly human biology, make you a mommy.” oh this. this got me. "Can I go deeper? Can I? Please, please, please—" NEVERMIND!!!!!! THIS ONE!!! THIS ONE GOT ME!!!

“Don’t act so shocked. You’ve been humping me like a desperate brat all evening, so go on and come like one. Come for me.” <-- that line of dialogue is gonna be living in my head rent-free for the rest of eternity, jesus CHRIST what a delicious meal

"Fuck control, fuck discipline, fuck holding himself back. Zayne wants you." LETS GOOOO!! ENDING THE YEAR WITH A LITERAL BANG WITH THIS ONE ✨💥

Most unintentionally telling story:

...imma let y'all out me for this one

𝖂𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖌𝖔𝖆𝖑𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 2025:

Finish Damnation

Begin drafting my own original novel, likely mixing some of Damnation into it

Post more regularly? Perhaps at least one work a month

Hit 10K followers here!!!

Begin cultivating my own community: other writers, become a mentor (reach out to me for any writing or just life questions!!), and fandoms

[makemeimmortalwithahug]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

thank you for the tag @ahyperactivehero !!

stress free tags: @oddessea @nix-nihili @read-write-thrive

number of stories posted to ao3: 8! Exclusively Dead Boy Detectives and I started in August, there will be more in 2025!

word counted posted for last year: 45,885 words

fandoms i wrote for: Dead Boy Detectives

pairings: mainly payneland, but also palasaki

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads:

kudos: I'll Love You Carefully - A cursed Edwin falls from the Tower Bridge and Charles rushes to his rescue

bookmarks: also I'll Love You Carefully (something about protective!Charles just hits right)

comment threads: The Road to Ruin - Edwin gets taken to Hell for the second time but Charles is in a much much worse mental state

work i’m most proud of (and why):

it must be The Road to Ruin because I am actually proud of my characterisation of Charles and it's my first attempt at a multi chapter fic, so that alone is enough for it to have a special place in my heart. I love really getting into the Hell aspect of it all and I think the introspective nature has something to it that I previously never quite managed to capture with my writing.

work i’m least proud of (and why):

probably How Could You Think, Darling, I'd Scare So Easily? - Charles gets capture by Esther and Edwin rescues him Tam Lin style. It was the second fic I ever posted but I have to say I should've worked longer on it. It's not bad but I realised that it could've been more angsty and it feels kind of rushed when I reread it now

share or describe a favorite review you received:

it was so hard to pick just one because I love every single comment and they all make me stay motivated and want to get better. But if it's just one, then probably this one:

(sorry for all the tags btw, oddessea dear, you've been such a huge part of my journey on ao3, I cannot thank you enough!)

I think this is the one comment that genuinely made me tear up because I had been struggling with the way I wanted to write this fic and reading that it apparently worked out was just absolutely bloody wonderful

a time when writing was really, really hard:

Probably the last few weeks because I have all of these ideas but also a lot of pressure (put there by myself, mind) to have them turn out perfectly. I won't get into any details, but real life hasn't been too good either for a while now, so it's hard to get into the right mindset sometimes. But it will get better

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Crystal surprised me a lot! I adore her so much and I want to do her complexity justice and while I don't think I have posted a lot of Crystal yet, I enjoyed writing my palasaki fic Bloom Like A Flower so much because it allowed me to show that while Crystal is incredibly powerful and has been through a lot, she's still a teenager

a favourite excerpt of your writing:

I think this one stuck with me:

He pressed Charles even closer to himself, as if he wanted to embrace him fully, so as to not let any of his demons reach Charles in any way. Charles moved to brace his hands against Edwin, somewhere between resting them on his shoulders and pressing them against his collarbones. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to push Edwin away in desperation or pull him closer until no one could untangle them anymore. Edwin was coming undone around him and there was nothing for Charles to do to ease his pain. It was obvious that whatever Edwin was seeing, hearing, feeling, it was paranoia and not something Charles could see. How could you help someone who saw the world burning and crashing around them while you were still standing on solid ground, mere millimeters between both of your realities? - The Case of the Turning Key

how did you grow as a writer last year:

A lot, seeing as I had never written fanfic before and had been struggling with my original works for so long that calling it "writer's block" would've been a huge understatement. So just the fact that I managed to finish 7 (!) fics is already a huge accomplishment for me. Apart from that, I got better at finding the characters' voices when changing POVs.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.)

shoutout to a few people as well!

I obviously have to thank @im-perfectly-normal-about-this for listening to my yapping about various ideas in dms and giving me feedback on my Charles characterisation! I appreciate you so much!

Also dear @oddessea for making my day with every single comment you write!

And then of course the entire DBDA Haunt server. Joining was probably the best decision I made in 2024 and all of our discussions in the writers room are so special to me.

Thank you to: @genevievefangirl, @ahyperactivehero, @read-write-thrive, @moonikabear, @dead-but-still-sarcastic, @zmorak (I'm so sorry if I forgot anyone! Y'all are all so loved!!)

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year:

definitely, little nods to things I enjoy or have done myself. I am good at projecting my own insecurities and problems onto Charles and of course the best example would be Days by the Sea - the agency goes on vacation in Scotland. That was entirely created from my wish to someday visit Scotland

any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

have fun!! When I don't pressure myself into writing and just do it for fun, I get the best results, not because they're perfect or anything, but because I genuinely enjoy working on them and then also feel good about finishing them. Having fun is already a big step

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year?

The Road to Ruin will defintely find an ending in 2025! Apart from that, I obviously have my F1 AU that I've been yapping about. A different Modern AU and then let's see what I'll come up with next 👀 I'm looking forward to this year <3

[ghostchems]

Raphael teasing a naughty little mouse 🐭 (if you feel up to it!)

a/n: here we aaaare. a lil suggestive but nothing too spicy i think :) raphael is just... a stinker. but ya know what maybe mouse also is kinda stinky. so uhhhhh... about 700 words of stinky.

There’s not much stopping you from lunging across his desk and grabbing him by the chin to force him to look you in the eye — to finally give you the attention you’ve been so desperately craving. He hasn’t looked up at you once or acknowledged your presence in any way since you strolled into The Archive. Which is cruel in itself because of the big todo that was made to announce he was coming Home. The organs rang out through the House of Hope, the lights dimming in every single room and the debtors working themselves into a tizzy over it. And then he appeared without fanfare, sequestered in a nook to review paperwork from the looks of it.

Raphael has been gone for sometime and as one of his pets you haven’t been played with in a while. Most of his toys wait for him to come to them, but not you. You’re special to him. Or at least, you think you are. The two of you have a past that spans several world-ending threats, battles with a deranged cult and other side quests, some of which Raphael came to you himself to deliver. He always enjoyed the fire in your blood, the way you spoke your mind and didn’t give in so easily to him. Now, you’re enjoying your retirement with him in a twisted turn of events.

But you don’t mind. Your past lets you get away with things most of his pets don’t.

You find yourself sitting at one of his many organs, perfectly in view from his desk. Fingers tap on the fine, smooth wood, eyes fixed on him. Lips twitch into a sly smile before putting both forearms onto the keys.

BWWWAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!

Rage filled eyes fixate on you and you’re practically able to see the smoke coming from his ears. Makes you smile even wider.

“Here. Now.” His voice booms through the Archive, echoing from every corner. You obediently get up from the organ but take your time striding over to him. Raphael’s glares at you, eyes never leaving you and while you should be worried by his anger you can’t help but feel exhilarated. Finally — you have his attention.

“Took you long enough to — ah!” A strong hand grabs you by your waist and pulls you into his lap while his other hand snatches the back of your neck. You will never not be rendered speechless by his mere strength. Thumb presses just beneath your ear, his golden gaze staring into where you soul should be.

“Missed me, did you, pet?” Nimble fingers stroke your upper thigh, leaning in so his nose brushes along yours. “Business comes first. You should know this better than anyone.” Warm breath on your lips, Raphael’s voice no more than a deep rumble. You’re on fire for him and lean in to get a taste. He tilts his head back, just out of reach, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Come on, Raphael.” You whine and try to press in closer. He grumbles, fingers inching ever so close to your inner thigh but he stops short.

“Whine all you want, mouse. I have work to do.” One last smoldering glance before his attention turns back to the papers in front of him, removing his hands from you. No, no, this won’t do. The ache between your legs is unbearable now, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded. You need him badly, so much that your immediate action is to snatch him by the collar of his doublet and wrench those caramel eyes back to you.

An animalistic growl rips from his throat, his nose scrunching in annoyance. You blink and he has your hands pinned behind you back and his forehead pressed into yours, so hard that it makes your ears ring.

“Behave.” Sharp and angry against your ear, his fangs scratching the sensitive skin. “Perhaps I’ll be generous enough to offer you some relief.” Another nip and he leans back, expression back to cool and calm but you see the slight blush in his cheeks. You squirm in his grasp but it’s futile to try to break free… so you give a deep, defeated sigh as Raphael’s attention turns back to his work.

Still, you find yourself smiling. You are most certainly still special to him.

[thejoyofviolentmovement]

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares A Frantic and Funky Ode to Fearing the End of The World

New Audio: Art Feynman Shares A Frantic and Funky Ode to Fearing the End of The World @westernvinyl @pitchperfectpr

As it turns out, I’ve managed to write a bit about Luke Temple, a singer/songwriter, visual artist and producer, best known for being the creative mastermind behind the genre-defying recording project Art Feynman. Up until recently, Art Feynman has been strictly a solo thing, a way for Temple to explore surprising sonic landscapes without the burdens of identity. His soon-to-be-released Art…

[the-descolada]

Spoiler-Free Advance Review:

Exordia by Seth Dickinson

I could not put this book down, my god. Staying up super late multiple nights because I couldn’t stop reading is such a great problem to have, and Exordia gave me that problem more than any book I’ve read in a few years.

This is a very different book than Baru, but Seth’s evocative prose and dark humor is familiar from page one, and the laser focus on defamiliarizing real world injustices is again the core of the work. Despite being far more immediate (Exordia is set during the Obama administration in our world, with an alternate history beginning from the moment the book starts), the heaviness of the topics never gets overwhelming. There’s some incredible (and extremely fitting) tonal dissonance here, with every perspective character having their own sense of disaffected humor about the apocalyptic situation they’ve been thrown into.

I described this to my friend after just starting as “if the Books of Sorrow were written with Gideon the Ninth’s tone and just straight up in our world,” and I think that remains true throughout. There’s a huge amount of references peppered in, and it helps maintain that lighter tone to balance the despair of what is essentially a doomsday clock ticking down throughout the book - and it helps keep things grounded, honestly. I never felt it took away from the gravity of things, or was unnatural - after all, if I, an early 21st century sci fi nerd, was thrown into some fucked up alien bioweapon mystery, it’s hard to say my first thought wouldn’t be “oh shit, this is just like the Andromeda Strain!”

Having seven (eight?) different protagonist (or deuteragonist, I don’t know which they qualify as) PoVs is pretty wild but works perfectly here. Every character has such a unique outlook that you can instantly figure out whose head you’ve popped into even before any identifying names or things are mentioned - Seth’s mastery of the tonally cohesive PoV shifts was something I had loved in Tyrant, especially, and they’re equally impressive here. The characters are lovable, hatable, and everything in between - and each as mentioned is so distinct and compelling that I can’t say there was a single character who I was unhappy to get into their head. And that’s saying something, given who some of these characters are, but I’ll leave the specifics a surprise. Predictably, my favorites were the dysfunctional autistic butch-femme lesbians, but I really loved all of them in the end.

The base premise is almost comical in how small it starts to how much it escalates - a cynical, disillusioned Kurdish genocide survivor, Anna Sinjari, meets a terrifying (and yes…very hot. I’m a simple woman) alien in Central Park, and this seemingly chance encounter sees her roped into a small group of scientists, soldiers, and her own mother in a desperate countdown to solve an otherworldly mystery and save their world. The twists and turns of the plot are intense, so engaging that I was bouncing up and down at times (there’s plenty of sci-fi insanity that I absolutely eat up), and tightly paced.

Seth seems to really enjoy writing ethical dilemmas to great effect, and Exordia is ruthless in that area, taking the base concept of the trolley problem and the moral justification for what someone would sacrifice for the greater good and carving it apart for narrative weight. What greater good does the sacrifice serve? Is it actually good? Who gets to make the choice, and do they have a choice but to make it? There’s a lot to dig into here, and Exordia is a four course meal.

One aspect of this simply taking place in our world, rather than being an alternate universe like Baru, is that the defamiliarized commentary is even more on the nose. Whereas Baru is a commentary on empire and homophobia as a whole, transparently pulling from primarily American history of genocide and imperialism to shape a culture unlike our own in many ways to defamiliarize this moral exploration, Exordia is just literally about real world American imperialism and enabling of genocide in the MENA region, primarily the ramifications of the military industrial complex’s usage of drone warfare and the extremist regimes armed and encouraged by “counterterrorism.”

All this sets the stage for the question of what happens when a bigger fish arrives, one just as hell bent on empire building and justifying its own atrocities. The sci-fi intervention into this banal evil is at the same time a reflection of that evil, and asking if the world has the capacity for resistance to both. Exordia’s answer is profound, and far from easy, but entirely fitting for the ethical dilemma that runs throughout the book, creeping up on you slowly as you start to recognize what shape it takes in this story.

The central material conflict of the book, a locked box mystery of sorts that you piece together with the characters, is fucked up and fun and scary, a reality shifting threat that treads the line between body horror, meta-narrative, and lovecraftian math. It’s extremely cool, and I think it’ll be right up the alley of fans of The Andromeda Strain, The Locked Tomb, The Books of Sorrow and other parts of Destiny lore, and a lot of other SFF stories where ethics, horror, and mystery mix together.

I don’t want to say too much about the climax and the ending - going into this book without knowing too much was an incredible experience that had me on the edge of my proverbial seat - but the ending left me asking myself some very similar questions as I had at the end of Traitor, and I cannot wait for a reread when the physical book is in my hands to see what little foreshadowed things I can pick up on.

I don’t think people are going to be quite as completely emotionally Destroyed at the ending of this one as Traitor, but…it is very much a Seth Dickinson book, and they have quite the talent for making every thread tie together at the end to make the reader feel every emotion at once and realize that this could never have gone any other way. I cried, I laughed, sometimes simultaneously, and a book that can do that to me is entirely worth the experience - and what an experience this was.

Absolutely fucking incredible, I want more of these characters and everything they’re wrapped up in, 10/10.

I received an ARC of this novel from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[spockanalia-archive]

Spockanalia #1: Record Review

By Dorothy Jones

Art by DEA

Record Review

by Dorothy Jones

In January of this year I sent Mr. Nimoy a copy of "The Territory of Rigel," explaining that it was a song text but that the music was yet to come.

"This leads to another point," I continued; "does Spock sing? Which is to say: do you? If so, what range?"

"I doubt that Mr. Spock will ever sing," he wrote back, "but Leonard Nimoy has on occasion. The range is very low, there have been some inquiries about the possibility of recording, and I frankly have not yet decided what to do about it."

It must have been only shortly thereafter that he did decide, and arranged to record with Dot Records. An album called Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space has been out for three or four months; a single, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, is about to be released.

The five instrumental pieces in the album are among its weakest parts. The Mission Impossible theme and Music to Watch Space Girls By are purely fillers and add nothing to the record. The Star Trek theme—embellished with bongo drums, electric organ, and female voices going aaaaaaah—is not much better. Beyond Antares (an instrumental setting of Lt. Uhura's song in "The Conscience of the King" is much easier to listen to, although it suffers from the same embellishments. I would have preferred to hear it sung, either by Mr. Nimoy or by Miss Nichols. The fifth piece, Where No Man Has Gone Before, is a surprise: a competent arrangement of an interesting melodic line based on the few phrases (under "Space, the final frontier…") which led from the teaser into the Star Trek theme. Why weren't they all as good as that?

Of the three songs in the album, two were taken from musical comedies. Where is Love (from Oliver) is a beautiful song of its type: its tender melodic line is well suited to Mr. Nimoy's very gentle voice, and its lyrics are entirely appropriate to Spock. Mr. Nimoy selected the song for that reason. I consider it the best band on the record.

Lost in the Stars (from the musical of the same name, based on Alan Paton's Cry, The Beloved Country), the song of the man who feels God has forgotten him, is perhaps more suitable to the denizens of the Twentieth Century than to Spock. Though he may occasionally indulge in desperation, he never despairs. However, the song is again well written and beautifully sung.

The third piece, You Are Not Alone, was written for this album. It is a protest against the unpleasantness of mankind which is about to be directed against the inhabitants of other planets. The point is well taken, and both the writer and the singer are very sincere. (Mr. Nimoy is one of the people over 30 whom you can trust.) I wish it had been written with a lighter hand; it has an unhappy streak of corn.

The three narrative pieces are reasonably authentic Spock. In Alien he describes himself with fair accuracy: "so much like you, and yet so unalike…no feelings show in me. Perhaps I'm better off than you…but I pay a price to be from human feelings free. Perhaps in me you see your destiny."

Mr. Nimoy narrates Visit to a Sad Planet not partially but entirely in the character of Spock, with his level intonation and occasional pauses to check the suitability of a phrase. The material is an anti-war protest: Spock visits a ruined civilization and the last survivor tells him how they had destroyed themselves. Asked the name of his world, he says, "We called it Earth." (And so they undoubtedly did, in their language. Had you forgotten Spock's telepathy?) The tone is taken from You Are Not Alone (as are several of the melodic elements), but the treatment is more subtle.

The tongue-in-cheek Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Earth stretches the imagination a little, but only a little. We know, of course, that Spock doesn't drink. But there must be ways (short of viruses, spores, and the pon farr) of getting him to lower his guard. I can imagine the delighted consternation in the Officers' Club, and Captain Kirk grinning into his bourbon on the rocks while his First Officer solemnly declares, "Twinkle, Twinkle, little earth, how I wonder what you're worth…On Cestus Omicron Three, the all-time hit song is Earthdust…don't let the earth get in your eyes."

Mr. Nimoy is a true Russian bass: his voice has a dark, velvety sound and some wonderful low notes. He has a natural sense of what to do with a phrase, but he is not a trained singer. He tends to fade out at the end of a phrase, perhaps because of lack of breath. If ever he gets away from that 14-hour day (not likely, if NBC knows a good thing when it sees one), he should be able to correct this with a little study. Of the more common faults of untrained singers—harshness, nasality, pinched tone, or wobbling tremolo—he has none. There is a great warmth in his voice: a very tender and gentle sound, when the material permits it.

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins had not been released at the time of this writing, but it was performed on July 27th on a truly abominable television program called Malibu U. Mr. Nimoy lounged on a rock and sang to a half dozen addled females who will not, I hope and trust, be part of the record itself.

The song could have been better or worse. Its melody was lifted, I should think, about 50-50 from Davy Crockett and The Purple People Eater. In its general tone it is no more astray than the Ballantine cover of The Hobbit. It is perhaps a bit more patronizing, but not unduly so—the sort of attitude one of the Big Folk would have taken toward Bilbo's adventures.

The line describing Bilbo as "the greatest little hobbit of them all" might be taken as a slur against Frodo, except that the rest of the song, speaking of Bilbo in the present tense, can clearly be dated between 2942 and 3018 Third Age (1342 and 1418 Shire-Reckoning). Indeed, the piece might well have been composed by one of the Men of Bree; and, since Mr. Nimoy is the only man I ever laid eyes on who could play Strider, the effect is quite pleasant and not at all out of tune with Tolkien's universe.

When I met Mr. Nimoy last December, he had not read The Lord of the Rings. Indeed, I believe he had never heard of it. When Karen Anderson met him this July, she got the impression that he had at least read The Hobbit and had loved it.

If Bilbo Baggins��goes well, she told me, he intends to do a whole album of Tolkien songs. This would be a very good thing. He might, perhaps, do the Flanders and Swann settings of some of these songs. Certainly, Mr. Nimoy is capable of doing justice to much better material than Dot has given him so far.

FOR SALE

Sets of 18 film frames from Star Trek 1966-67—suitable for mounting in 16mm slide holders or for projection. Shots of Kirk, Spock, various views of the ship. $5 per set.

TO BE AUCTIONED AT NYCON

Incomplete sets of frames as above

Scripts of Star Trek

Sketches of scenes from the new season's shows

Female's tunic, green velour, about size 12

ALL MONIES TO GO TO THE TRANS-OCEANIC FAN FUND (TOFF)

Interested parties contact the Trimbles, [Address Redacted]

Note: With the help and guidance of Open Doors, we digitized the first volume of Spockanalia and imported it to AO3, which you can view here. In order to meet AO3's terms of service, some of the content was edited or removed. The full version of the zine is preserved on this blog. The masterpost is here.

[bitter-sweetener]

Bitter's Hellraiser Movie Review

Okay so, over this past weekend I watched every* single Hellraiser movie. There are 11 in total, 10 from the original franchise and 1 modern "reboot". I watched the very first one and Pinhead immediately became my newest hyper-fixation. I'm a freak weirdo into freak weirdo shit because my brain is a little funky. I will be posting my complete thoughts (+ analysis) under the cut. Short end of it: I loved it. It's a classic. Watch the first one at the very least. I think the reboot was really worth watching. You must have some whimsy to enjoy the rest. 6 + 7 are watchable but honestly the average viewer would not like any of the other movies. Do not watch Revelations. I love some really TRASH media, so you know that is truly a shit movie. Spoilers!

Okay. Now that the normies are gone, here we go.

I have said it once and I shall say it again, Pinhead is a psychological horror villain in a slasher movie world. I am aware of the books Hellraiser is based on, and also the comic books. Best believe I WILL be reading those as soon as I can get my grubby little fingers on them. Anyway here's my review:

Hellraiser: I love 80's horror aesthetics. I love anything with practical effects. But most importantly, I love the whole idea of Pinhead and the cenobites. I thought it was a very fun horror movie. The no skin makeup really weirded me out, not in a bad way but in a probably unintended way. I really fell in love with Pinhead. "The box! You opened it, we came." I love that Pinhead was ready too make a deal with Kirsty. Seemed flirty to me idk. (There is something about media about a sadomasochist wanting you that makes my brain go bur.) I feel like up until the point where the Cenobites appeared, this was going to be a slasher movie. Once you see that they can be reasoned with in some way? They hit that very yummy to me psychological horror field. I think that was the point where I needed to see more of him. My only complaint about the movie is that Pinhead wasn't in more of it. If you like Hannibal (tv), you'd like Kirsty/Pinhead and vice versa. 5/5 stars. Also Frank saying come to Daddy made me laugh so incredibly hard. Will re-watch this.

Hellraiser ii: Hellbound. This was a really good sequel. It picks up RIGHT where the previous one leaves off which I thought was nice. I'm so glad that they stuck a bit to the very obvious psychological horror route with this movie, letting Tiffany go free due to her catatonic state. "It is not hands that call us. It is desire." The cenobites aren't completely evil in that regard, and I think that is what truly makes for an interesting antagonist whereas Frank and Julia are kinda just shitty people. I REALLY WISH that they continued more on that route with the rest of the movies. I feel like they completely disregard that aspect of the Cenobites later which just makes the deaths boring after a while. But again I'm calling it a 5/5 stars from me. Will re-watch this. There's a moment with this weirdly wet baby doll on screen with sewn together lips? Seeing that sent me to a new dimension. Pinhead wants Kirsty soooooo bad. "We have eternity to know your flesh." Down BAD.

Hellraiser iii: Hell On Earth. I ship Terri and Joey. The scene in Joey's apartment??? Lesbian alert. Loved that. The weird baby returned but this time not wet, but dangling in a circle of barbed wire with a blindfold on. Fucking amazing. Who's idea was that. Who NEEDED that to be featured so desperately. Also I fucking love that Hell was like encased in this weird af art piece thing. I love that we got some Elliot in this movie! I think merging the two fully solidified that Pinhead isn't all beast. I thought it was fun watch. 5/5 also. I love this original trilogy as a trilogy. "I AM THE WAY." I loved the church scene.

Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker. I watched the movies out of order. This one is the most worth watching of the follow up movies just for continuity. But I thought it was very boring. The set up for this movie is more about taking you through someone else's specific hell and not just the act of being brought to it. I love that we get Kirsty back. Pinhead WILL get his girl. "You opened the door long ago and it will not be closed until I get what I came for. It was a nice closeout to her story, a nice little epilogue. I MAY re watch it, just for Pinhead, but probably not. 3/5. "Welcome to the worst nightmare of all. Reality." He was SO real for that omg. I love this franchise because a lot of it lets the female protagonists get revenge and I loooveeeee when women are vengeful.

Hellraiser 4: Bloodline. They are in space? And there's some lore of the box that is in the past and not in space? But this is honestly a shit film. I thought it was boring. The scene with the twins was GOOD. Perhaps the single good thing about that movie. But mostly I don't remember anything about it at all. 2/5. "I am so exquisitely empty." Yeah babe, so was this movie.

Hellraiser 5: Inferno. Similar to 6 in how its once specific guy's specific kind of hell. The male protagonists (?) suck in this franchise. It gave me a bit of a Hannibal (tv) vibe when the guy sits down with the therapist. I'm calling him "this guy" because I cannot be bothered to look up his name because it was so boring. Honestly I also BARELY remember this movie. 2/5 "Welcome to hell." I do really think Hannibal would like Pinhead. They would just love each other's work I think. I started daydreaming about a Hannibal and Hellraiser crossover. Because as mentioned, I AM a freak weirdo.

Hellraiser 7: Deader. STUPID NAME for a movie. That being said I enjoyed this one! Like a fair amount. Another great female protagonist. I really liked seeing her gathering evidence to investigate. I hated the cult leader type guy. I just thought he was fucking stupid. If it wasn't a Hellraiser movie I may have liked it more. Because the Cenobites are kind of just there? This would work as a better stand alone type of horror cult movie. I think Hellraiser was just trying out all kinds of troupes and whatever. "You should be very careful what you wish for. It just might come true." 3/5 I remembered the plot this time.

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld. This is just a slasher film that they glued Pinhead into the end of. It was giving SAW vibes at one point. With the chair with the blades that sever the arteries in your neck. I don't particularly like Saw. Just doesn't tickle me. I will admit to fast forwarding through bits of this because I just did not care all that much. I watched it only so I could store the scenes with Pinhead into my brain, and even that part was like eating holographic meatloaf. 1/5.

Hellraiser 9*: Revelations. There is that * again! Did you forget about it? Yeah I got 5 minutes in, said yo why is this SO BAD, read that this film was rushed and made mostly to keep the licensing, and then PROMPTLY shut that shit off. 0/5. Negative one million. If I opened the box, the hell I would be dragged into would include being forced to watch this movie.

Hellraiser 10: Judgement. Better than the 9th movie that's for sure. Once again, I cared very little for the man who's story the film this movie was ultimately about. These men genuinely have no personality outside of kinda just being a jackass. I did like the auditor. I thought he was pretty cool! I liked the visuals in this movie, very very gross and gory. I liked the idea of heaven sanctioned evil. I liked that Pinhead was like, lady I do not care who you are, fuck you and fuck that guy you were trying to save. I think it's stupid that he was sent to "reality" as punishment. I think it's stupid that he was punished for that. Free my boy from the confines of reality and allow him to experience the sweet pain of the flesh once more! 2/5 "After all, evil seeks evil." I also want to say that Pinhead being unwilling to strike a deal with this guy is further proof that Kirsty is special and that he should get his girl.

Hellraiser 2022: OKAY PINHEAD IS HOT. FEM PINHEAD IS SUPER SEXY. THEIR VOICE????!?!?!?!?! FUCKING WOAHHHHHHH. Also there is gay people!!! I love gay people. Honestly I thought this was a really compelling story. I think Hulu did the franchise justice. It was just very visually appealing. There were a lot of layers in a way, similar to how the first few movies had these layers of evil to them. I really liked that. I will watch this again. I just think it was a good movie. Voight's transformation was quite captivating at the end. I like that we had the Cenobites working with some kind of code again, like god intended. One of my favorite scenes is the one where Nora gets got. "...heaven. There's no music in that." It's just REALLY HOT sadomasochism vibes and I'm here for it. Maybe I'm just fucked up and gay though. 5/5 stars. It was worth getting through the bad movies for this beautiful creation.

If you read this whole thing I love you and I'll see you in hell <3

[norbezjones]

Bez Reviews Independent Books 1: Memory Leak

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NaomiNorbez on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Pillowfort, Threads, and Instagram; I’m @norbezjones on Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

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The first book I’m reviewing Is Memory Leak by @maxkirin !  M. Kirin is a streamer who I happened to follow not long before their book release.  That’s how I heard about it.  Some light spoilers below, but nothing too big is revealed.  Most of the major stuff discussed you can read about right on the book’s itch page.

The plot is basically this: a trouple made a controversial game that won many awards, and also got lots of hate.  Now, they’re trying to make a new project to follow up such a release, but spooky things are happening.  Will they find out why strange events are occurring, or succumb to the haunting?

Everyone’s trans, and I love it.  Adrian’s trans.  Eva’s trans.  Casey’s . . . idk, very queer at least.  She’s also missing for a while, which has turned the game making trio into a duo as they’re trying to finish their new game based on Twelfth Night by Shakespeare.

Most of the book is about blackouts & memory loss, which occur as development goes on.  Reading about those things hurt.  Especially the part where Adrian says, “It didn’t matter if he didn’t remember. He was making something. Something that mattered.” (pg 17-18).  That hit hard, as someone who’s experienced intense periods of memory loss in the past—that was during my pseudo-dementia era (more on that here if you wanna hear the full story).  I had a similar thought to Adrian when I was making A Single Ouroboros Scale while I had pseudo-dementia.  I was desperate to make an impact because I was convinced I would soon forget everything I knew, including how to make games, and everyone would forget me in turn.  It came out as well as you can expect from a very sick, depressed person (which is to say, not good), as I talked about in the postmortem.  I imagine that for our game development trio, the same result occurs.

The hauntings in Memory Leak are rooted in real-life problems in the game development industry, mainly crunch and overworking yourself in order to meet a deadline.  Though in the case of Adrian, Eva, & Casey . . . was a deadline ever specified?  It’s strongly implied, but not overtly stated, as I recall.  Regardless, as a creator in the internet/social media age, you do have to act quickly to release new works, or the public will forget you.  Perhaps that’s why they feel like they need to work as quickly as possible.  There’s some irony in that—the characters’ rush to be remembered, all while they forget more & more.  It’s sad sometimes, the things we sacrifice to be known.

Also, it turns out the famous game the trio made, King Leer, possibly indirectly caused the death of multiple people, and that isn’t mentioned until about halfway through the book?  It’s surprising how that information flies out of nowhere, like a sucker punch.  If one of my games indirectly caused a person to die, I would be haunted by that for the rest of my life.  But the trio seem to have gotten over it, somehow.

My main little nitpick about the writing is that Adrian is referred to as “the young man” quite a bit, and I didn’t like that.  It felt too impersonal, distant.  That’s also something I do in my own writing, referring to the character as anything but their name to avoid saying their name too many times in a row (I blame my OCD [which I literally do have, that is not a figure of speech]).  So maybe it irks me because I see myself in that repeated action. 

As much as I like the writing style, I do have to acknowledge that it keeps us as a distance from the characters.  They’re young men, young women, lost souls.  It’s like we’re also haunting them, a ghost from beyond getting a peek into their lives from the top-down.  The chapter openers reinforce this: in those, you, the reader, are brought into the story, from a second person perspective, and given information about Starling games from YouTube videos, forum posts, messages, etc.  We see them win Game Of The Year, watch as fans deride & praise them, stuff like that.  It’s definitely an interesting way to give us information.

A big issue is that we’re told a lot that these characters love each other, but that bond isn’t quite shown to me. One can argue that it is between Adrian & Eva at least, but Casey?  In the beginning, it seems like she dislikes Adrian & Eva, but then there’s still a scene where she cries while apologizing to Adrian for yelling at him, saying how much she loves him.  I got the sense that she clings to Adrian & Eva because she used to love them, for a long time, and she doesn’t want to let that go.  Because to let that go would be venturing into unknown & very awkward territory.  How do you break up your polycule if you rely on them to earn a living and make games?  Short answer: you don’t, so you pretend instead.  And when you pretend enough, it can become real again.

This is a problem because the love these characters have for each other is a core tenant of the book, especially in the climax.  I wish we could’ve spent more time seeing how they fell in love with each other, back when Starling Games was new.  At least Casey’s love for the others becomes clearer as the book goes on; that’s a good thing.

As for the big twist, I saw the first part of it coming from a mile away.  That’s not a bad thing—a good twist should fit the plot & themes, not be 100% unpredictable, and this twist did.  The second part of the twist is mentioned on the book’s page, but the execution is so interesting you can almost forget that fact.

Last note: I was hoping the book would tell us why the works the trio make are so fucked up, if they’re a reflection of the soul, or just dark spurts of creativity.  The reason is revealed, and it’s fascinating—after all, if we’ve learned anything from The Beginner’s Guide, it’s that art doesn’t always reflect the author.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book.  It was a very interesting story about the struggle of game development, and how our search for a legacy can haunt us.  The characters are interesting, and the story is very well told.  I would recommend it.

If you want to read Memory Leak, you can do so FOR FREE right here!  Give it a look!  Please!  I’m begging you!

Thanks for reading!  The next review will be of To Wield The Darkest Night by Beau Van Dalen.  But I don’t know what I’m doing after that, so please send me your lovely books!