#Since Sev was always treated like one lol

[easy-there-leftovers]

Me; writing about this story? Nah—

Me; making quick sketches of what the reader looked like in their fifth year because I’m playing HL?

Unfortunately, yeah—

S. Snape x reader angst idea

Don’t know if somebody wrote this already but imagine something like—

You know how Harry, and therefore the audience, was essentially lead to believe that Snape despised Harry for being too much like James but was actually caring for and protecting him because of his love for Lily?

Keep that, but add a professor! reader to the mix that, since day one, has treated Harry how a mother or aunt would her own son or nephew. Making people think that it’s because James and/or Lily was a dear friend of hers—or perhaps that she was in love with the pure blood himself— but was actually doing it because she thinks that it’s one of the only ways to comfort Severus— to save him from grieving.

As if by taking care of the boy—guiding him— it would be the only way to keep Lily in their (her husband’s) life.

Idk,—reader having attended Hogwarts alongside Snape, and therefore the Marauders. Throughout the years, she had always been a dear friend to him and has always loved and cared for him in her own way! Aiding him in procuring ingredients, reading with him, encouraging him— (even if it meant supporting his efforts with the girl he actually likes)

Unfortunately, while Snape is aware of the reader’s feelings and has made it clear that he cannot return the sentiment in full, (despite his actions clearly showing otherwise), he is stuck dealing with his own problems + unrequited feelings for Lily.

Something something, reader and Snape get married anyway after Lily and James do, yadda yadda— reader and Snape are still close friends, but their marriage appears more like having the other as a live-in assistant—

Bonus points if reader is either a Slytherin (oh, to watch your housemate pine for another up close) or a Ravenclaw (always the stagehand, never in the spotlight)

Probably never going to write this, but PLEASE tag me if you do!! Not even for credit—I just really want to read this—

[timeladyjamie]

1.This chapter made me wish that Lily had a baby girl instead of Harry… if she had a girl (from this chapter i understand that she knew the baby's gender before it was born) she would have still felt trapped but she would have likely associated the baby more with herself rather than with James and their union if it was a girl… kind of like what happened with J.K Rowling and Jessica her oldest daughter from her first and abusive marriage… and the fact that Harry looks so much like James and is also so much like him in personality only makes things worst… you might say that but "Harry got his kindness from Lily" but i think it is wrong: the idea that Lily is full of compassion, or even particularly kind, comes from the films and from fanfiction, not from the books. In the books she is described as being vivacious, charming, very bright, funny, brave, cheeky and good at Potions and Charms, she was never said to be kind in the books not once rather we are shown that she is also quite harsh and over-critical and inclined to blame others for her own faults (e.g. she and Sev both snooped around Petunia’s room, but when Lily is silly enough to let Petunia know, and she’s angry about it, suddenly Lily makes out it’s all Sev’s fault and treats him horribly) so Harry is way more similar to James than to Lily and kindness is not one of Harry's defining traits not in the books or in movies… The only characters who you can described as fundamentally kind are Luna and Neville that is why i wish Neville was Lily's son instead of Harry or that she just had a girl instead… even before i knew about Snily's backstory i never liked Harry's character and that is why i never fully read the books since you can't read a whole franchise if you dislike the main character and reading this chapter just made me think that Harry is just a burrden and a painful reminder in Lily's life it is not his fault of course (he didn't ask to be born) but he is still a burrden and somthing that will always stands between her and Severus and represent James…. i think with someone like Neville as Lily's son or if she had a girl everything would have been easier for Snape and for Lily since Neville Potter or a "girl who lived" is so much more lovable and much less related to James…

2.one thing i personally disagree with is James regretting Harry and blaming him for everything. yes, James was immature (doing secret escapades with the Cloak of Invisibility) and frustrated to be locked up but i always saw James as loving Harry deeply and wanting him to be like him and being the permissive and spoiling parent to me he was like Lucius Malfoy a good, spoiling and proud father but a shitty person overall lol.

3.it is said it this chapter that Lily tried to get a job but this goes against what J.K has said that they immediately joined the order after graduating and were supported financially by James. so i always saw Lily as someone who was a bit spoiled since she was her parents favorite so she blindly trusted James and was happy to be supported by him financially that is another mistake i headcanon that she made since she was so blindly in love with the person that she thought he was that she became too depandent on him financially and emotionally letting him isolate her…

4.another thing we apparently have different opinions of is Harry's conception, you wrote it as something that was planned due to Lily's inlaws pressure but i always saw it as an unplanned pregnancy resulting from a drunken hallowen party since it doesn't make sense to me that James and Lily would want to have a child while they were so young, in a middle of a big war and while they are prominent fighters in the frontlines so we agree to diagree (: unlike Harry, i think Neville was planned since Frank and Alice were older and being aurors was their profession they weren't fighters just because of the war.

5.do you have a Snily fic like this just without Harry or with a girl who live instead that i could read?

6.the way you described James as seeing Lily as an award to be won is so spot on since he was a spoilt child who always got what he wanted and never received no for an answer so he doesn't know how to lose and views everything as a game… The way their relationship is described in the book has so many red flags… if James had lived and Lily wanted a divorce i am sure he would have threatened to take Harry away from her if she will leave him just like he had threatened her to date him if she wanted him to stop hexing snape he is not above playing dirty and hit below the belt as long as he gets what he wants so the fact that he died saved Lily for an ugly custody battle….

7.what does the Lily flower and the phoenix have in common? Does lily symbolize rebirth?

8.another thing is i always saw Lily's flaws and darkness manifesting in her treatment of Snape and Petunia and not in her motherhood but her bad reaction to the unborn Harry in this made sense since she was feeling trapped and knew that she was pregnant with a boy so it was like having James all around her. again, i think her initial reaction would have been a lot different and much better if the baby was a girl just like it happened to J.K

9.In terms of the chronology/timeline of the story, back in Chapter 4: Snapdragon in the August 16th, 1994 paragraph there is a flashback scene where Lily is already heavily pregnant at the end of her pregnancy and she is confronting James at Harry's nursery on his lies and deceit but in this latest chapter (chapter 12) it appears that Lily only learned about James's lies just as she found out about the pregnancy so i am confused as to where and when this flashback scene from chapter 4 is placed in the grand scheme of things? Can you write me the rest of the timeline strarting from their wedding on 7 July 1978 and on?

10.why did Lily disappeared from the memories at some point and left Severus to watch them alone?

11.why did James and Sirius didn't trust Remus while Lily did?

12.where did James and Lily live after their wedding? At Godric's Hollow? Or did they only move there once they went into hiding?

13.did they found out about the prophecy and went into hiding in February, 1980? I always thought that they choose the secret keeper a week before Halloween… again, i need you to write me the timeline from their wedding on 7 July 1978 to Halloween.

Sorry for so many questions as i said before this chapter gave me a lot to think about… also,i hope you are not angry that i previously pointed out some mistakes/inconsistencies in the timeline since some authors hate it when it is being pointed out to them but i just wanted everything to be perfect since i wanted to be able to understand the story better😁 P.S wishing you a happy and healthy 2024🥳

NOTE FOR MYSELF: Just for reference when looking back at this post, it's in regard to Chapter 12 of The Language of Flowers.

I've read the books and while there are things pointing out Lily's flaws, she does have her kind moments in the books too. It's not just a thing from the films or fandom. I mean, it was her kindness that made Severus fall for her (at least it's implied throughout the text.) And with regards to Lily having a boy or a girl (or someone like Neville), It might have made a slight difference, but it still isn't the point of it. It's about the fact that everyone keeps noting how Harry looks and acts like James, but yet, Lily just wants Harry to be his own person and not continue to keep being compared to his dad (especially because of seeing how much a jerk James is.) It's also about Lily learning this herself. It isn't Harry's fault that his father is James, but with self-awareness to it, he can do the work to make sure he doesn't follow down his footsteps (something he actually does talk about in the book of the Order of the Phoenix when he finds out how much of a bully James was.) We haven't gotten there yet in the fanfic, but we are close!

I didn't take it as James regretting having Harry or blaming him for everything. I know I said this story would be pretty big on James-Bashing, and it is, but to me him saying “It’s because of our son that we’re in this predicament" and "I didn't want this", it was just one of those stupid moments (even for James) where you're frustrated or going through a mix of emotions and you say stupid things or the wrong things without thinking it through. And once it's said, you kind of can't take it back. It was like that. James is a flawed being. He was immature and a jerk, but the only thing I will give him credit for in this story is that he did care for Harry, which is why at the very end, he still tried to protect him and Lily.

The story acknowledges the fact that they were financially supported by James' fortune and joined the Order after graduation. However, I think Lily still would have liked to get a job herself (because everyone has goals and dreams of what they want to be after all), but because of everything going on with the first war and the dangers it presented, especially for her, she decided it was best to live off James' fortune and just join the Order. Can't argue with those facts, but you also can't change the fact she would have wanted her own career too.

To me, it was pressure from the in-laws, pressure from marriage expectations, pressure from the war and also an unplanned pregnancy. Obviously they were only 18 when they got married directly after graduating (pressure from the war, check.) Then the fact James parents were considered "elderly", even for wizarding standards and had a noted history with problems concieving, hence James was the result of a late-in-life pregnancy and entirely dotted on (pressure from the in-laws, check.) Then like with most marriages, at least from a typical society view since the dawn of time, you are expected to carry on the family legacy and have children (pressure from marriage expectations, check.) After that, depending on if you want a child or not at that current time or at all, it could feel like an unplanned pregnancy, especially if you're in a toxic relationship and have no other choice but to do it or feel pressured to do so. (unplanned pregnancy because of pressure's from marriage expectations, in-laws, and war, check.) That's how I saw it.

I have other Snily fics without Harry, which are also AU's: A Lily Among the Snakes and Obscurial Flower (Rewritten). However, my main focus has been working on The Language of Flowers right now, so those two stories only have 2 chapters up.

I've always seen James and Lily's relationship this way too, so of course I had to explore the potential of it, especially with Lily being alive. I just feel like the canon text gave us so many nods to the Red Flags of James Potter and the kind of spouse he would be towards Lily; between being a bully to those he felt deserved it, arrogant and so sure he was never wrong. He was also willing to hex Lily when she tried to stand up for her friend, and he was seen writing her initials on a Golden Snitch (the implication being a trophy and prize of sorts since that is what a Seeker goes after in Quidditch to win the game, which just symbolizes perfectly how the relationship was viewed by James.) It was literally SCREAMING to me from that scene in the book: GET YOUR RED FLAGS, especially with the fact he was still bullying Snape behind her back in Seventh Year while acting like he had changed his ways! This reminds me, I need to finish that meta I was writing up on this topic.

Lilies Symbolize: Unconditional Love, Devotion, Purity, Innocence, Fertility, Femininity, Grief/Mourning, & New Life/Rebirth. The Phoenix Symbolize: Immortatlity, resurrection, new beginnings, healing, hope and self-regeneration. (( I just took the fact they both meant overcoming death, bringing hope and healing and put it together. It was also a call to her being part of the Order of the Phoenix ;D.

Everyone has light and dark in them. That's the thing. And while Lily does have her...dark moments elsewhere, it was during motherhood and being in a toxic, loveless marriage when she started to awaken to it and that was what led her to wanting to make the change and try to be better. That was the implication of it anyway.

The one taking place in Chapter 4 is hinted to be a trick of the mind because nightmares can do that, especially when they try to use our fears against us. The true and real thing that happened was in Chapter 12. I'll get around to writing out the Timeline for Lily's Past when I can. I'll probably post it here to make it easier. I'll inform when it happens.

It was implied and even pointed out by Severus that the reason she suddenly disappeared like that was because at that point in the memories she had started to lose herself in the darkness in her life after finding out the truth about her relationship with James. She also didn't want to witness everything with Voldy again. But as for if she heard everything while not being there...hmm...possibly ;) It is still her mind.

It is said that Sirius was wary of Remus at the time (and much of everyone, thinking some people were secret spies for Voldy.) He obviously wasn't wrong since that's exactly what Peter was, but it's sad it was directed towards Remus. I figured Sirius would influence James to feel the same way, but obviously Lily didn't.

They lived at the Potter estate before and after James parents passed, but moved to Godric's Hollow when they were told to go into hiding. This was my version of expliaing it since it was never really mentioned to us.

Again, same as I said above. We aren't really sure exactly when it all happened. All we know is Trelawney's Prophecy was made early in 1980 to Dumbledore, but Snape ended up overhearing it and passing it onto Voldy, which then started everything. Exact dates not known, but what happened here in my story is my creative guess on it.

[whxre-snape]

@snapewrld

The Answers to your wonderful questions😌💙💜

1) Would he ever settle down?

No, I don't think he'll ever settle down. He's pretty content with the life he's living.

2) Who would he end up settling down with?

If he ever did settle down with someone, he'd pick someone kind and sweet. Maybe he'll start an actual relationship with Xenophilius & Pandora.

3) Was he ever a stripper? (he could have definitely been the next Magic Mike💀 "Now welcoming to the stage The Half-blood Prince")

Severus has an account on one of those expensive live pxrn wedcam sites. There he strips and does other things, he doesn't wanna be around drunk people. He does what he can to stay safe.

4) Does he sleep with older men and women because he thinks that they would have more respect for him and his body or does Sev have a Daddy/Mommy kink?

Sort of, Severus doesn't really care about a person's age so long as they're of age. If they aren't then he won't spare you a second glance. He may be a whore but he has rules that he and anyone who wants to be with him have to follow, otherwise you're out of luck. He's very careful on who he sleeps with. Also he does infact have a daddy/mommy kink.

5) Does he do make-up designs?

Severus does do make-up designs. He learned how to use make up from some older girls back in cokeworth. He's been practicing how to create gorgeous designs ever since.

6) Does he make his own clothes/trends? (He's probably a thrift shopper huh?)

I like the idea that Severus was taught how to sew by his mother, so I would say that he does I'm fact make his own clothes but not all the time. The rest of his clothes is bought from small businesses. He does sell some of the clothes he makes for a very cheap price and does make custom clothing for also a cheap price.

7) How does he sleep? Naked, In Underwear, a Nightgown, Short-Shorts and a tank top maybe, or full Pajamas?

Severus sleeps in a large loose shirt and shorts. He use to sleep naked but Regulus once barged into his room after having another nightmare and asked to sleep in his bed that night. Since then he no longer sleeps naked seeing as Regulus still gets nightmares but not as much as before.

8) How does he like his coffee? Iced, Frozen, Hot, Creamed, or does he just eat coffee beans straight from the bag like a sleep deprived monster?

He's addicted to all types of coffee, mostly iced coffee.

9) Any Pets? Cats? Dogs?

He's has 2 cats, several fishes, 2 owls, 1 snake, and 3 dogs that are very well trained to attack intruders without making a single sound.

10) Babysitting? Does he babysit Draco on his days off?

Severus always baby-sits Draco and he baby-sits Luna as well. He loves them both and he treats them as if they're his own kids.

11) Does he scold Regulus for fighting other kids at school? (Kids are mean they probably make fun of Regulus because of Sev's profession)

You best believe that Severus scolds Regulus for getting into fights. Severus is upset but he understands why, so he does what he can to get Regulus to control his emotions and how to make snarky comebacks to burn his enemies

12) Alcohol, Cigarettes, or Weed?

Severus drinks the finest of wines, something his clients gift him. Sometimes on dates he'll drink whatever alcohol they offer him but only after he checks to see if it's safe. Severus doesn't smoke a lot but he does from time to time. Sometimes he, Regulus, and Barty smoke together up on the roof of their house. Severus only smokes weed whenever he has an extremely stressful day.

13) Would Sev rub it in Sirius' face that he slept with his mom/dad (maybe both lol), adopted his brother, and has an unlimited amount of money at his disposal?

He does, he really does. Severus seduced Orion and blackmailed him into giving him custody over Regulus. Eventually word got out and Walburga was furious about it but Regulus was all but thrilled cause hey he no longer has to live with them. Everytime Sirius insults Severus about being a whore, Sev would simply take out a few gold galleons toss them at Sirius and say "Here now you can afford to breathe in my direction" and then walk away like the bad bitch he is.

14) How would the Hogwarts Staff during the Marauders Era react to this new Severus?

They would be shocked as hell, and a little concerned but they wouldn't interfere.

15) Would Severus go back to Hogwarts for Regulus and Barty's career day? Would he get up and speak? Omg would he arrive late and with style or early and just observe?

Ah yes career day. The headmaster would ask Severus to come speak about his profession in potions. Severus of course agrees and once he sets foot on the stage people are confused. Why? Because of his appearance. He has ripped black skinny jeans, a black tank top along with a loose dark purple crop top with the word prince written on it in dark blue, combat boots, he has a double ringed overlap piercing on his lip, chained earrings and some ear piercings, his has a few tattoos on his body, and his hair is up in a bun which is being held by his wand.

He then proceeds to talk about his experience at Hogwarts and everything he does. He talks about being a Potions master, a crafter of clothing, a whore but he doesn't say much, and of being a care giver. He talks about his home life and how he became the very person he is now, he also speaks about how the school didn't do well in protecting him and why he took matters into his own hands. The Professors and Headmaster try to get him to stop, but it's of no use. He's an expert in wandless and wordless magic so all their attempts are useless and he speaks every word with pride. By the end of it everyone cheers and Severus simply stares at the Headmaster and gives him the finger before leaving.

[jacobseedz]

Care pt.1

Professor Snape x Student!Reader

1340 words lol

Been feeling kinda shitty for the past months, so I thought I’d write something w my fav Prof :))) Hope you enjoy it, and I beforehand apologise for any errors, english is not my first language. I’M SORRY IF SEV IS SOOO OUT OF CHARACTER DKDKDK NOT EDITED SO IM REALLY SORRY BOUT THE ERRORS DKDJ LOVE YALL

Part 2   Part 3

Another bad, unproductive day. Nothing seemed to be quite alright for a long time. Nobody noticed your mood lately, but it was nothing new, you were used to it. Your parents were too busy, working for the Ministry of Magic. Your friends had their own problems, and the teachers? Why would they even give a damn..

You laid in bed for about twenty minutes, staring pointlessly at the ceiling. There were no classes to attend, it was Christmas after all. Everyone from your dormitory had left Hogwarts to spend the holidays with their family. Only you stayed behind, your parents wouldn't be home, so there was no point in leaving.

Looking to your left, you saw Jinx, your pet bat hanging upside down, soundlessly asleep. At least she could sleep with no care in the world. 

Deciding to roam around, you got up, maybe you'd stop for food in the kitchens. The kitchen elves were particularly fond of you, and always gave you a small snack or some sweets. As long as you were nice to the elves, they were happy to give food out.

With a sigh, you throw off the soft blanket. Your grandma gave it to you before passing away. It was a birthday gift.

Upon the last memory of her, tears welled up in your eyes, which you quickly wiped away. She was your biggest supporter, teacher, and the only close family... until death came for her. And that was the breaking line.. You felt stupid, crying and walking down the hall, where everyone could see. Even though it was nearly nighttime, and half of the students who stayed were probably in their dormitories by now. However, the ghosts were always around, some taunting you, some playing tricks, and some being indifferent. 

The closer the kitchen got, the faster you started wiping the tears away. Finally, able to breathe properly, you put on a small smile, and entered the area. Two elves greeted with warm smiles. They never said a word to you, not that it was a problem. Without a word, just a wink one of them gave you a long bar of chocolate, skittles and a bottle of chocolate milk. 

"Thank you.." you whispered. You left with a wave, still smiling softly. Now you just had to find a place to sit down.

Two more turns, and you found yourself before the staircase leading to the dungeons. It was one of your favourite places. Whenever you felt sad or just exhausted with life you came there. Sometimes you managed to cross paths with your professor, however you prayed to Dumbledore that he was already down there. It would've been an embarrassment if he'd see you in such state.

Munching on your treats, tears began flowing down again. This year was just so terrible for you. Your grandma passed away, your grades got worse, you parents were always working and your friends just stopped caring.

Loud footsteps echoed in the empty corridor. Before you could wipe your face, Professor Snape came into view, a nasty scowl on his face. Upon seeing you, his expression changed, it softened a little bit. 

Since he started teaching you, he saw great potential, not once did you make a mistake in brewing a potion or on a test. You were always the first one to give it back, or answer a tricky question on many lessons. He liked your passion about potions, always approaching it with delicacy and great precision. 

And you never spoke any ill words about him, quite on the contrary, you defended him handful of times. And it warmed his cold heart, making him put down the tough layers he built around himself, just for you. On free periods, you came to his classroom, offering your help in arranging the cupboard or preparing for his next lesson, like bringing important jars and such. 

Students noticed how you became the only favourite student, always going soft on you, never giving a snarky comment, only small praises, sometimes even a smirk, although barely noticable for others. 

"OH.. Professor-" you started, getting up. Your cheeks heat up, embarrassment washing over you. 

"Come along, Y/N." he spoke quietly, going down the stairs, towards his office. 

Not wasting much time, you walked behind him. Vision still blurred from the tears, you took careful steps, afraid you'd fall and break your bones. 

You didn't know if you should curse Dumbledore or actually thank him. Maybe Snape's company would actually cheer you up, or worsen your mood. 

"Alohomora..." he muttered, letting you in first with a small nod. 

You went further in, sitting down on the couch near the fireplace,and opposite Snape's armchair. It was like a ritual, most of your holidays you spent there. Severus would always make tea for both of you, and sit down by the fireplace. Some days were in comfortable silence, just enjoying each others company, and on some days you'd make small talk, or discuss many topics. But it never felt forced.

"Green tea, as always I presume?" he questioned, raising a brow. 

"Yes, that would be lovely, thank you." 

He nodded, turning the kettle on. You smiled, it was nice to have someone show a little bit interest in your well-being.

"How are the first years?" you asked, staring into the fire, pushing your hands out trying to warm them.

"Horrid. Not one brat knew what I would get if I added root of Asphodel to an infusion of wormwood.." he exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"HA! Easy. Draught of Living Death." you shouted triumphantly.

"Precisely. Well done." he praised, smirking. You looked down, blushing madly. He knew it would lighten your mood a little bit.

"It couldn't be that bad though? I heard Jack got better in potions.."

Severus let out an annoyed sigh. "He just made the potion explode. Instead of cutting the Sopophorus bean while making Felix Felicis , he should've smashed it, brings out the juice more. Damn dunderhead .."

"Oof, well, next time I see him, I'll tutor him a little bit."

Severus handed you the tea, sitting on the armchair, taking a sip of his own one. You handed him the other half of the chocolate bar.

"Don't bother... How are your parents?"

You offered a weak smile. "Good, busy as always, but working for the Ministry is like that, so what can I say."

"How have you been lately, professor?" you questioned, looking into his eyes.

"I've told you many times before, call me Severus." he gave a small smile, making your heart melt instantly. "Good, although the holidays aren't my favourite, I prefer that muggle tradition called Halloween."

"Oh Merlin! Me too! Especially when the elves make pumpkin pasties and delicious cranberry punch." your laugh was like a beautiful melody to the dark-haired man.

"Ah, yes. Though the idea of scaring those isolent brats is just too tempting to pass." he smirked.

He frowned quickly. It threw you off a bit.

"I've noticed your grades getting worse. Minerva approached me before the christmas break. She worries about you, as do the other teachers. And I." he said softly. "You were always a top student. What changed?"

Tears welled up in your eyes for the milionth time. The teachers actually care? Professor McGonagall even came to Severus?

So lost in your thoughts you didn't realise Severus sat beside you, his worried gaze on you.

"I'm sorry.." you managed to whisper, before heavy sobs took over your body.

The cold man instantly took you into his warm embrance, caressing your soft hair, rocking you back and forth. Who would've thought that a man like Severus Snape would ever hug someone and try to make their every problem dissapear, because he cares so deeply. You really wreaked your way into his heart, that actually lied existed, but under many layers of thick walls.

"Shhh. It's alright. We're here, I'll help you as much as I can, and so will others. Don't worry." he promised. 

You pushed your head into the crook of his neck, hugging him as tightly as he was you.

"Thank you.."

[leah-halliwell92]

The Eyes Have It

@sujusfs14499​ requested number 4 “God, your eyes are so gorgeous.” (She got long I’m sorry lol)

You couldn’t help your giddiness as adjusted your semi-casual burgundy dress a few minutes before 6. You were getting ready to not only go to dinner but a play at the Old Globe. Severus said that if they caught the viewing he had planned there would be a chance for dinner. 

You had been surprised when Severus made his way into the apothecary on the a day you were working the counter, his days are usually those you’re not in. In school you’d been his best friend, class partner (when Lily wasn’t his chosen), his champion and confidante. You’d tried to be as close to him as he’d let you and without seeming like you were a lost puppy trailing after him like he’d been doing with Lily.

Not being the last one was easier said than done, but you’d done it and it served to kick James Potter in the arse hard enough for him to realize that not everything was as it seemed. Rumor had it that during fourth year, he’d gotten it into his head that he was going to prove Sev is as evil as the rest of his house. He’d sworn he was going to once and for all expose Sev for queen and country to see and quote, “Maybe then Lily will dump him as the rat he is”. This is how you heard he’d taken time during the Christmas hols to follow Sev home.

Needless to say James got more than what he bargained for when he found where Sev lived. You knew James ever the full of himself Gryffindor thought he’d find a well off half-blood maybe pureblood from a well off family, with a past of blood supremacy., literally anything that wasn’t anywhere close to what the reality of it all was. James had cornered you upon returning to school looking like a mad man demanding to know if what he’d witnessed was true. At the time you’d not known he’d gone as far as to look for actual reason to pick on Sev more than he already did. You could still remember it.

//Flashback//

“Is it true!?” James demanded.

“Is what true? What the hell could I have that you want Potter!?” You asked struggling against the grip he had on your arm.

“Have I just been making his life doubly difficult...” he said voice breaking, “Have I truly taken it to a point where an abused child cannot find sanctuary away from his hell.”

Your eyes widened as you realized what it is he wants clarification on.

“Tell me!” He yelled in begging manner, “Please...tell me I didn’t ruin a man’s life over rumors and baseless assumptions. Please...please...”

You sigh and say, “Your jealousy and brashness is what got you into this mess. You let your belief that learning about something anything makes them a bad person.”

In a very uncharacteristic display of character for him, he fell to his knees sobs wrecking his tall frame as the realization that all the “good” he thought he was doing was actually all for naught. 

“If I were someone else I’d rub in the fact that Perfect James Potter valued seeker for Gryffindor and Prince of the Light bullied a child for being different,” you said voice cold causing him to flinch, “Not everyone who studies the dark arts is evil or are bound to become evil for studying something that interests them. Has it ever occurred to you that if the dark arts weren't studied we wouldn’t have the counters we have to help heal them? Or that potions to heal or treat without proper research done on dark curses?”

James looked ashamed and clearly at a loss. He'd finally come to the realization that he’d tormented an innocent for close to four years over nothing, just a need to learn and escape. Now that he knew the truth he didn’t know how he’d fix it or if it there was a way for him to make peace.

“What can I do to make amends?” He asked you pleadingly.

“I think that should be obvious to you,” you said crossing your arms.

He nodded to himself and said, “I know I need to stop with my actions and egging Padfoot onto continuing his own abuse.”

You nod sort of impressed but not believing he meant what he was saying.

“Maybe after a while,” he said voice low, “I can’t try to apologize.”

You nod and say, “Don’t think or believe he’ll forgive you. And do keep in mind you’ve been you've been chasing after his only friend.”

“Lily,” he said shock in his eyes, “They...”

“He loves her,” you said with a small smile on your face.

“And you him,” he said plainly.

“But this isn’t about me,” you said angrily, “So don’t you go thinking you can do to me what you’ve been doing to him. Believe you me James Potter I’ll get expelled before you go hurting me the way you did and have been doing to him. And for all the love and peace in the world, please don’t tell him how you or why you all of the sudden stopped...you won't like his response.”

He nodded and did even went as far as to promise that he’d do his best to keep Sirius in line along with Remus...the fact that he’d from the very beginning told them to leave Sev alone in the first place not withstanding. 

You heaved multiple sighs of relief the day he walked in talking animately with Remus about something. Sev told to you about how James defended him against Sirius for the first two months of the new half term. How surprised and suspicious he was but then they got to the point of being civil with each other. You hoped that it wasn't too late for some form of friendship to blossom from this. She hoped the attacks just in time to keep him from spiraling down a hole he might not be able to get himself out of. 

Sev had even introduced you to Lily! You’d wanted to size up your “competition” for a while, you’d known you weren’t anything compared to the great Lily Evans. It stung to see why it is Sev looked head over heels for her...she’s lovely to look at, she’s smart, ambitious and hard working. Not to mention they practically grew up together. 

You remembered how as the years progressed his eyes would light up at the mention of Lily his heart practically on his sleeve. You’d made it clear to him, after befriending Lily, that her love for him might not be as he wants it to be. It had taken a bit but a sit down between him and Lily revealed the warnings you’d given him...this brought to you by Lily then by James who’d been told by both Lily and Sev what had happened. 

It had gutted Sev the day James went to him as Lily’s ‘brother’ to ask for permission to court/date her. But he wanted Lily safe so he said yes to James leaving him with a warning that she’s stubborn enough to beat him should James have ulterior motives. 

You’d had a feeling that Severus had hope for her to see him even while she was with James. Hope even when she’d accepted James’ permission to court her as the purebloods of their world do. You’d drifted some from Sev in the hope that you moved on from your crush on him to no avail...

//Present Day//

The years that proceeded all the way to seventh year went by quietly if not for the whining of one Sirius Black when the second half of the school year really kicked off. Despite his trepidation, Severus took to this change in stride. After some time walking on eggshells he’d been approached by Remus to join him and James for study group one Wednesday. He’d approached you about and you tried to be as supportive as yo could without revealing why they’d approached him in the first peace offerings in hand. 

You laughed at the occurrence and remembered the time when he met you in the astronomy tower piss drunk. You’d been sitting taking notes for your class when Severus wound up and plopped himself next to you. Some slurred sweet words later and you somehow found yourself with his head on your lap your fingers brushing through his hair. And you don’t remember how it happened but somehow he’d gone from laying on your lap to kneeling in front of you his eyes caressing your face tenderly.

“God, your eyes are so gorgeous,” he said and without warning pressed a tender kiss to your lips. 

Despite your shock you’d returned it before they heard the caretaker doing rounds forcing the both of you to go your separate ways. You also remember the long crying session you had in the bathroom when he came to you asking what had happened the day before since he’d woken up with the mother of all hangovers and alcohol induced amnesia. 

You snapped back into reality at the sound of a knock at your door.

You gave yourself a look over to see you were pretty much done aside from jewelry. 

You took the black pear set and made your way to the door as the necklace hooked itself on with a twist of your wrist.

“Good evening Severus,” you said opening the door a bright smile on your face.

He greeted you same as he always did a friendly hug and peck on the cheek before offering his arm for the both of you to leave.

The evening had started off better than you’d expected it to, the evening weather was wonderful and the chosen play happened to be one of your favorites. You were trying in vane to keep your traitorous heart from swooning every time he did or said something, with a voice you were sure should be illegal, that caused your insides to melt and tried to focus on what lay ahead. This is too good to be true...you could feel it in your bones.

The first half of the play went fantastically! It all felt and looked so romantic, like some big gesture would follow at the end of the night...no. That would not happen, not to you and not with him.

As soon as the intermission came about you’d made a mad dash for the loo hoping you had time for a drink of water and a nibble before heading back in. Little did you know that what happens afterward marked the end of what was promising to be a pleasant evening.

You walked out to be met with Severus have what looked to be a very engaging conversation with the ever beautiful Lily Evans. And despite you trying to not fall down the rabbit hole of your feelings for him, it happened anyway and the result is the overwhelming feeling of disappointment and hurt that he’d still chose h is Lily flower over you. Your traitorous brain supplied you with another thought, what if he’d brought you here with him knowing she’d be there? Your heart fell deeper at this, why torture you if he wasn’t interested in you anyway?

“Funny isn’t it?” The voice of James Potter drew you from your thoughts and darkening mood.

“That we meet here by chance?” You asked weakly wrapping your arms around you. Whether it was as a form of comfort or to keep yourself together you didn’t know.

“Well not exactly,” he said cleaning his throat slightly, “I’d let him know that the Globe was hosting a variety of wonderful plays...I never told him which and what night.”

“Mmm,” you said and drew a deep breath. You would make it through the night, you could do this.

“Why is it everyone can see how you clearly still feel for him but him?” James asked honest curiosity in his eyes before he gave you a look over nodding liking what he saw, “Merlin do your eyes look gorgeous. They contrast against your dress beautifully.”

You smiled widely at this and breathed a delighted laugh. At least you looked decent enough for such an event. 

You shrugged at this but before you could say anything the smiling voice of Lily reached your ears.

“I though it was you I saw leaving the hall!”

You forced a smile on your face and greeted your friend tenderly, it wasn’t her fault Severus didn’t see you...like that.

You’d made a point to drop your defensive pose and dropped your hands to your sides. You kept an ear on what she was saying but your eyes wandered to the look of wonder on Sev’s face as he looked at her. Your eyes misted at this...at the realization that he’d never not only see you as a woman but he’d never want you either.

You felt James’ pinky wrap around your giving it a gentle supportive squeeze and calmed some. It wouldn’t do for everyone to see you break down over nothing. 

“We simply must go to dinner after the show,” Lily said smilingly. 

You wanted to flat out refuse but Severus had agreed for the both of you before you could.

“We’d be delighted,” he said charmingly voice soft, “It has been some time since we’ve had a proper catch up.”

You squeezed James’ finger and cleared your throat excusing yourself to the loo once again. 

Once in a stall, you grabbed two squares of toilet paper and carefully pressed it on the corners of your eyes the tears falling and making you feel like stupid child trailing after her best friend and his heart only to be spurned for your attempts. 

You shook with the effort of keeping your sobs from coming out and in a last ditch effort to calm down you placed your head between your knees and concentrated on your breathing. In and out...in and out...in and out.

Once calm you walked out to find yourself face to face with a clearly concerned Lily.

“I’m fine,” you said, sounding stronger than you felt despite the slight tremor in your voice.

“Then why are your eyes red?” She asked knowingly.

You shrug and inspect your miraculously still perfect makeup and said, “Had something in my eye.”

“Thestral shit,” she said, “It’s not like it seemed.”

You looked at her sadly and said, “I know...but the doesn’t mean he suddenly loves you like a brother. Magic can do a lot of things Lils, what it cannot do is interfere with the affairs of the heart.”

She nodded in sad understanding and said, “If you need a cry or to talk you know where to find me.”

You might just have to take her up on that. His greatest love or not she is still your friend. Even if her beau is the one you really need to have a chat with, he is your best friend.

You walked back arm in arm grins on your faces, hers smooth and pretty and yours forced hoping it didn’t look pain filled or worse...a wince.

The men escorted their respective ladies to their seats to finish the play. From the moment you retook your seats, you tried hard to focus on the plot. To lose yourself within the story and for a moment forget who you were sitting next to. Your attempts had proved successful until you felt calloused fingers tenderly grab your hand. Your knee jerk response was to take your hand back, there is after all no point to playing a gracious date on his behalf. The jig as they say, was up. But you left your hand in his, for what reason you didn’t know. Your heart wanted something to remember him by you supposed, but the rest of you was ready to swear at him, hit him and do horrible things just to try and get an answer for the many why's that lay at her feet. 

Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you love me? Why am I not more like Lily? Why can’t I be a ginger?... At least then you’d have something to try and get his attention with. You felt the play to your core as the pivotal point drew near. Your grip tightened some around him as the plot blossomed, your anticipation, for more than just the play, reached new heights. 

By the end of the play you’d forgotten the hurt, which suited you just fine to be able to survive dinner. So much for a date...

You weren't surprised to find James and Lily waiting on you easy smiles on their faces. As you made your way out James, bless him, commented, “If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought this to be a date by the looks of things.”

You felt Severus stiffen, had that not been the idea of this outing?

“Look at that!” Lily said pointing to the small shops that were around pulling you along without much warning.

You turned to look at the boys and froze, James looked like he was ready to commit murder while Severus was as blank and stony faced as ever.

“Face the window and pretend you look interested,” Lily said exaggerating her movements to make it look like they were having an animated conversation. 

You followed lead and said, “Well now I know his real reason for being here.”

Lily shook her shoulders, simulating laughter, and said, “I didn’t tell him James and I would be here tonight. I know James practically gave him a shove in your direction by telling him of what the Globe had in store this week.”

You nodded forcing a bright smile on your face despite the tears that lit up your eyes.

“James told me as much,” you admitted to her, “It’s just odd! I know he comes to the shop the days I’m not there, I don’t know if it’s because he’s avoiding me or because I did something. My boss told me about a week ago about a new staff member to help on a more permanent basis along with me so that could be it?”

“I’m your new co-worker,” Lily revealed looking partly guilty, “I was going to surprise you with the news next week.”

That struck a chord and all of the sudden you were laughing. Incredulous and hysterical peels fell from your lips. Lily looked on sadly as the pieced came together.

“What so funny?” James asked a smirk playing at his lips.

You looked up to find James and Severus had made their way over to where you and Lily were standing. James looked at you a knowing look on his face while Severus looked curious. 

“Lily let me know she’d be filling in the days I wouldn’t be working at the apothecary,” you say smile still in place, “I was so relieved and am so delighted to know. Sorry about the laughing, it’s just funny that we’d wind up working together in a field we both love.”

Severus glanced at you then as if he’d never known you were into potions, he should have known after seven years plus of friendship.

Not too long later, talks of getting dinner popped up. And soon enough your small group was making their way to what promised to be a cozy establishment on the muggle side of London. You’d have to make not of keeping the name in mind for next time. New memories would need to follow after this...

Severus kept your hand on his arm as he escorted you. Your mind drifted as you walked, if this had been a real date then you’d be pressing yourself to his side and putting your head on his shoulder. You would be having a meaningful conversation about anything and everything, maybe even starting the process of getting to know the adult versions of each other.

A faint grin appeared on your face at these thoughts...hope. These thoughts were your hopes personified. You “saw” his grin, “heard” his rumbled chuckles and “felt” his hand as he caressed your own on his arm on your way to dinner. 

“(Y/N)?” You heard someone call.

“(Y/N)!” You looked to find Severus looking at you worriedly, his hand on your cheek, “Are you alright?”

You gazed at him for a moment the daydream ever present. It would have been so easy to fall on that...but that wasn’t the truth. 

“I’m alright Sev,” you say with a grin, “Probably more peckish than I thought.”

He looked like he didn’t believe you and was about to say more when Lily brought your attention by proclaiming they’d arrived at the bistro they had in mind. 

//Time Skip//

Dinner went as you’d expected it to catching up, memories from Hogwarts, slight talk of the future. You felt Severus stiffen again when James and Lily ask the both of you not only to come to their wedding but to be a part of the wedding party as well. You nodded with a bright smile truly happy for them before covering up a “yawn” giving away that you were “tired”. 

Thankfully this gave Severus a reason to take you home. The bill was split and paid, you bid your friends a good night after promising to owl. In Lily’s case in the morning to plan for lunch during the week. 

Severus and you apparate into your living room from an empty alleyway. You gave him a, hopefully convincing, grin as you stepped away from him to take off your shoes.

“Can I get you anything before you head out?” You asked more out of courtesy than actually fish to have him stay.

He gave you a strange look.

“What?” You asked curiously. 

You’d thought he’d wanted to leave as soon as the evening came to a close. It isn’t as if he doesn’t have anything to do the next day. And to your surprise your boss needed you to come to the store in the afternoon.

“Are you alright?” He asked neutrally. 

“Yes,” you said, honest but trying not to seem as emotionally drained as you felt, “Why?”

“You’ve been out of it as they say most of the evening,” he said going to stand where you were putting your purse and wrap away.

‘That happens when your feelings for someone else become more apparent,” you thought to yourself feeling more than a little emotionally drained.

“I’m probably still a bit shocked from being asked about being asked to be part of Lily’s wedding party,” you said shrugging with a small smile.

He gave a chuckle at that but he knew there was more to that.

You resisted the urge to cross your arms over your middle in a defensive pose and waited for him to reply to that.

“I never thought he’d ask me to be part of his merry band of misfits,” he said clearly feeling awkward.

“I loved the play,” you said not knowing how to get him to leave without seeming rude.

“Maybe we can go see one again sometime?” He asked eyes brightening.

You wanted to sigh and scream and shake him to see you. Yell in his face that you were right there...if only he’d give himself and you a chance but you didn’t. 

“Maybe,” you said vaguely, “It’s getting late, tomorrow I have to go into the apothecary for something staff related.”

Severus nodded at this and went to apparate out when he turned to you once again and surprised you by pressing a kiss to your forehead and saying, “I was right that night in the Astronomy tower...you really do have the most gorgeous eyes.”

[violet-knox]

Mended Rose

Year 6 - Chapter 32

Summary: Severus does his best to make a mends with you, hoping you will forgive him.

Word count: 2943

Warnings: Some depression like symptoms...

A/N: I’ve edited and rewritten this too much, but hopefully I did the story justice. And I’m sorry, but the posting every day streak had to end some time lol. I’ll do my best to post as much as I can but I am warning you, school will take over my life (unfortunately). Thanks for your patients, and I hope you enjoy this chapter 😊

Previous Chapter - Chapter 1

~

She wanted to go to the Ball with him and he ruined it. He ruined it like he ruined his friendship with Lily. It had played over exactly the same, except this time, the girl he’d pushed away had loved him back, had opened her doors to him only to have him slam them in her face. You’d left him by the lake with the rose he intended for you. To willow in the grave mistake he’d just made. Picking up the flower, he examined the petals that threatened to fall off, his anger simmering away, replaced with nothing but regret. The rest of it was mostly intact, salvageable at the very least, even after the reparative beatings it had taken today. He didn’t know how, but he knew he had to fix this.

With determination and a splash of desperation pumping through his veins , he got up from where he sat and made his way towards the Great Hall. Dinner had already commenced by the time he got there. The hall filling with cheerful noises of conversation between friends and professors while he stood at the entrance, frantically scanning the table across the from the one he belonged to. You weren’t there. He would have easily spotted you, but he still kept looking, hoping he was wrong. But you weren’t there. The dorms, he thought, that’s where you must have gone. His shoulders dropped as his gaze fell to the floor in disappointment. There was no way for him to get inside, and after what happened with Lily, he couldn’t make a habit of camping outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. He’d have to wait patiently to catch you another time. At least it gave him the opportunity to think over what he would say. He couldn’t leave this conversation to chance like he did last time. He’d learned that rushing into such an apology could lead to more regretful words being spoken, and that was the last thing he wanted. Instead of joining his fellow housemates, he went to his own dorm, heading straight to bed as you curled up under the sheets, reflecting over today’s events and how he could possibly make it up to you.

The next morning, he went to the astronomy tower with the small sliver of hope that you would show up to their daily study sessions, but it was no surprise to him that you didn’t. Sighing, he closed the door behind him and fought back the tears. It had barely been twelve hours and he already missed you. Knowing how angry you must be with him, hurt. It pierced his heart and he knew it wouldn’t stop until he made it up to you. Perhaps this pain could serve as punishment until then. It could keep him grounded and focused on making it right with you. He made his way around the castle and searched every location he thought he might find you. His final stop was the Great Hall where breakfast had been served and as he searched the room as he did the night before, he began to realize just how hurt you were if you had skipped both dinner and breakfast.

But he knew your schedule, every class you took, every study break, he knew everything about your daily routine. He was sure that he would find you eventually.

The incident with Severus had struck you harder than you would have initially imagined as you puddled into a complete mess over the next few days, refusing to leave your dorm over the weekend and even skipping all your classes on Monday. A few of your housemates noticed and began to worry over you. Mary began sneaking food out of the kitchen, practically forcing you to eat as you attempted to shove her away, burying your face back into the small comfort your pillow offered.

“If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong,” said Jessica, “You could at least eat. Please (Y/N), this isn’t healthy. You haven’t eaten in days!” Mary placed the food on your bedside table as Jessica attempted to pull the covers off of you.

“Leave me alone,” your voice was raspy, weak from all the tears you had shed. You knew she was right, that you had to eat but you couldn’t find the energy, or the will power to even sit up.

“If you don’t eat, I’m getting McGonagall,” Jessica threatened.

You paused, thinking about what would happen if your head of house saw you in such a state. She would surely ask you to explain yourself and you had no interest in sharing the little chat you had with Severus with anyone, let alone a professor.

“No don’t get her,” you said quickly.

Slowly, you let go of your covers and let Jessica tear them off of you as you tried to sit up. It had been so long since you had moved from your spot in your bed that your joints ached with every small move you made. Your head pounded as Mary pulled back the curtains around your bed, letting in the blinding sun you hadn’t seen in days. You pressed your palm against your temple as you shut your eyes. Your hair seemed to have formed a nest from the lack of care you’ve been giving it and your pillow was still damp from the fresh tears you shed a few hours ago.

Mary picked up a glass of pumpkin juice and handed it to you before pulling Jessica aside.

“You weren’t serious right?” she whispered to Jessica, out of earshot from you. “You’ll get McGonagall?”

“No, not yet,” she responded. “We got her to eat at least. Maybe we can convince her to go to class tomorrow. And if not, then yes, we’ll tell McGonagall.”

“My head is pounding,” you said as you downed the rest of the drink in your hand. “Do you think you could fetch me a pain-relieving potion from Madam Pomfrey, Jess?”

Jessica brought her attention back to you before heading to her trunk, rummaging through it. She threw you a small vial and you watched as it landed on your bed between your legs. You picked it up and read the label.

“It’s left over from last month when I asked her for some,” she explained. You popped open the potion and was about to down it before she spoke again. “You should eat first. It can have some really bad side effects if drunk on an empty stomach.”

You paused and looked down at the potion, realizing how right she was. It shocked you how you’d completely forgotten that it could burn a hole in your stomach if not drunk under proper circumstances. Tears gathered under your eyes as you remembered asking Severus about this potion during one of your study sessions. Your mind suddenly filled with memories of you both before the last few words he spoke to you began replaying.

Mary walked back to stand beside you and took the small vial, sealing it and placing it on your table. You wiped away your tears as you reached for the food instead, slowly nibbling on it, fighting the nausea as you felt your stomach fill up quickly. 

“How about we go for a walk?” Jessica suggested. 

“No.” you whispered before leaning back into bed and drinking the potion she had given you. “I don’t want to leave.” You felt safe here in bed, like the horrors of the world couldn’t touch you if you hid under your covers.

“Then how about we just sit in the common room?” asked Mary. 

A few moments passed and you found yourself sitting by the fireplace, surrounded by your Gryffindor mates, all happily chatting, trying to cheer you up. Your tears quickly dried up as you finally found yourself thinking of something other than Severus for the first time in days. They did their best to convince you to go to class and by lunch the next day, they found you dressed and ready to head to Charms.

You avoided Severus’ gaze during classes the rest of the day, throwing all your focus into your studies instead as a distraction. Soon enough, comfortable eased its way you’re your mind and lead you to continue your studies as you didn’t want to fall behind, but you knew that if he tried to talk to you, it would bring back all those negative thoughts and you’d no doubt find yourself falling back into the hollow abyss of despair.  

You somehow found yourself seeing a lot more of Andrei since he asked you to the Yule Ball. Every corner you turned, you feared of bumping into him as the last time that happened, he wouldn’t let you leave until Professor McGonagall threatened to give you detention if you didn’t head to class. Despite your luck with the Durmstrang Champion, you had managed to avoid seeing much of Severus thus far and after class, you would always hurry away back to Gryffindor tower before he could talk to you. However, as you left Transfiguration, you found Severus outside waiting for you, forgetting he had a free block that period.

“(Y/N) please, I want to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” you replied, mimicking his usual cold demeanor.

“I’m sorry!” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean it (Y/N), I’m really sorry for what I said. I thought maybe you were just stringing me along. I didn’t think-“

“No, you didn’t! You didn’t think! You just jumped to conclusions like you always do! Sev, how could you possibly think I would ever try and hurt you like that after all we have been through!”

“I know, I’m an idiot and you deserve to be treated so much better than how I treated you. I’m sorry (Y/N). I really am so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I-I was angry, and it just slipped out. A-and I’m not trying to make excuses for what I did, but (Y/N), I truly didn’t mean what I said. You are amazing and beautiful and I’m so sorry. I really hope you can forgive me because… I would really like to go to the Yule Ball with you.” He paused and took out the rose he had wished to give you two days ago, looking down at the flower as he continued in a quieter tone. “If you don’t want to go with me, if you would prefer to go with that Durmstrang boy, then I’ll understand.” He looked back at you and took your hand, “but I would really like to show you how much you mean to me (Y/N).” He gently placed the rose in your hand, “please (Y/N), go to the Ball with me?”

You examined the damaged rose in your hand, all thoughts of yelling at him, finding a way to hurt him as he did you thrown out the window the second you heard his pleads. The flower you held wasn’t as pretty as it was when you first found it; a few petals looked as if they were about to fall at any second and a few others were bent incorrectly. As you looked back up at him, seeing the helplessness in his eyes, you felt pity and desperation emulating from the boy standing before you. Gently, you arranged some of the petals to their rightful place before answering him. 

“Let me think about it,” you whispered.

He nodded in agreement and left you to your thoughts. You wanted to forgive him, to go to the Ball with him, but you couldn’t get what he said out of your head. You understood he only spit out that word because he was frustrated, thinking you had flirted with him only to turn around and find someone else, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, that didn’t excuse what he said. He did care for you, you knew that and you still harbored feelings for him, which made it so much harder to forget him. What were you supposed to do now? If you forgave him, you would be opening your heart to him, risking having it crushed again, but if you didn’t, you would likely lose him forever. You made your way back to your dorm and set the rose on the table beside your bed.

Each day for the next few weeks, passed the same way; you went to bed and woke up looking at the rose, thinking about your relationship with Severus and how long you had been waiting to show him just how much he meant to you. You felt so conflicted and unsure of how you felt after what happened between you two. On one hand, you wanted to put what happened behind you, to move forward and start a relationship you knew would blossom into something tremendously beautiful. But your heart held you back, telling you not to trust him again, not to put yourself in such a vulnerable position because what if his intentions weren’t as pure as he’d made them out to be. Or worse, what if he was simply using you again like he did with Slughorn’s party in fourth year? Deciding you had to talk to him one last time before giving him an answer, you set your rose back down on your table and went to bed, momentarily pausing your thoughts as you made plans to catch him tomorrow.

After lunch the next day, you made your way to the astronomy tower with the rose in your hand and found Severus with his face buried in a book in the same corner you would both normally sit together. When you opened the door he looked up, immediately put down his book and stood, wide eyed.

His quick movement shook you a moment, but you closed the door behind you as you eyed him a moment before speaking. “Hey,” you said softly.

“Hey.” He copied the same cautious tone you gave him. You took a few steps towards him, wanting to get all the answers you needed from him.

“So, I was thinking, about what you said to me. And, I want to forgive you Severus, I do.” You looked down at your hands. “But how do I know I can trust you again? How do I know you won’t turn on me again?”

Severus took a moment to think about how to reply. He understood your hesitation and understood why you asked him these questions, but he just wasn’t sure he could give you the answer you were looking for.

“Do you remember when we first met? I-I didn’t trust you back then. I thought you were like all the other Gryffindors. Like Potter. But you showed me kindness and compassion. I know I haven’t returned that favor, I know I haven’t been the most open person. But I want to show you that I can be. I want to show you that you can trust me. If you forgive me, I promise I won’t betray your trust again… I promise I won’t jump to conclusions,” you giggled at his last sentence. He hesitated for a second before kneeling to pick up a book from his bag. He took another moment tracing the outline of the front cover before speaking again. “I want you to have this.”

Your eyes widened as you recognized the book he’d handed to you. You’d asked to borrow it on many occasions and without fail, he had denied each request. It was a potions book, containing some rare mixtures. His mother had given it to him when he was young, and he never parted without it. It was the first book he’d grown to love, one that had been passed down from generations in his family holding the royal ambiance of the Prince family.

“Y-you’re giving this to me?” you asked in shock. “I can’t take this Severus! I know what it means to you.”

“Then you understand what you mean to me.”

A shallow breath escaped your lips as they twitched into a sincere smile at the gesture he made. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of the vintage leather beneath your fingertips. You couldn’t believe how much he trusted you, how badly he wanted your forgiveness. You stepped forward until you were only inches apart. Placing your bag and the book he gave you on the ground, you reached into your robe and took out the delicate rose before taking his hand and holding the flower between your chest and his.

“Ask me again,” you whisper, your eyes searching his and finding nothing but love. He raised his free hand, placing it on yours as you both held the rose in place.

“Will you go to the Ball with me?” he whispered back.

“I would love to go to the Ball with you.”

Severus held back the ball of happiness ready to burst in his chest as he let out a breath of relief. Smiling, he cautiously leaned in a bit wondering if he was overstepping, but you closed the distance between you two, finally locking lips with him. You both kissed like you hadn’t seen each other in years, noses colliding and lips hungry for each other’s touch. You snaked your arms around his neck, and he placed his on your waist in response. It was perfect and you couldn’t have asked for more.

When you finally parted, panting for air, Severus met his forehead with yours, giving you a genuine smile. This moment was the happiest he had felt in a long time and you couldn’t have shared in those feelings more.

~

Next Chapter

~

@hoppingsnape @dusk-realm @a-slytherin-sin @trashandshook @gbatesx @sneezy-s @emsdroid @leah-halliwell92 @dellightfullydeceitful @xxaamzxx @sparklingkeylimepie @nameless-sovereign @wanderingtrails

[sevxra]

22 Question Tag !!

tagged by @solstxces 

1. nickname — severa, sev

2. birthday — august 5th

3. zodiac — leo

4. height — ~5′2″ / ~157cm. (a smidge shorter than that)

5. location — united states

6. occupation — a frustrated university student

7. hot or cold? — hot, because warm weather is pleasing. I hate the cold.

8. last thing you googled — err, I literally googled an inches to cm conversion for a previous question lol

9. song stuck in my head — yubikiri genman

10. recommended movie — coraline, watch it before bed ;)

11. amount of sleep — it depends. either I get a good 8+ hours or I live off 6 because I can’t sleep

12. lucky number — /shrug emoji/

13. favorite song — don’t have one.

14. favorite instrument — I always feel that cocktail part effect when people bring up violins; maybe because I used to play it

15. aesthetic — idk, people associate me with the color red and a bunch of angsty ideas, so do with that as you will

16. favorite author — I haven’t read a book in forever, can’t say; there are book series I wished I could finish such as “The Name of this Book is Secret” and the final(?) book of “The Program” series (romance f*cked it up though). I only had one book to go for each of these. But like, there was this book I read in high school that’s almost imprinted on my brain because the plot was so weird. It was about these two girls (one an*rexic and one bi*nge eater) who get sent to this conversion camp type thing to get their dis*rdered e*ting “corrected” and they worked together to bust out of this place. Oh right, it’s called “Thinner than Thou”. It’s f*cking weird. Umm, but I also love Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” simply because of how depressing it was and the writing style (a similar writing style iirc is also used in “The Name of this Book is Secret” hence why I recall it at all despite remembering nothing about the plot and once scene about the main girl calling the main guy over the phone and using morse code via the way the phone rang).

17. things you are doing right now — procrastinating on writing 5 page paper due in two days. I only have a semblance of an intro written and I have 0 clue what I’m doing since the point of the paper makes no sense to me. Also, bc I can’t figure out how to incorporate these sources into it either.

18. fandoms that have peaked your interest — fe:fates and fe: awakening has slowly been creeping back into my mind, but I’ve always been into them. As for new fandoms... nothing. I don’t involve myself in fandom.

19. how has pandemic been treating you — professors are constantly giving me weekend exams and hw over break periods to the point i want to swear in their faces for being inconsiderate (one professor didn’t even let me make up a quiz I couldn’t take bc of a f*king power outage I couldn’t control)

20. one fact others don’t know about you — /shrugs/ 

21. what is your favorite dere type — I love writing tsunderes 

22. rate your life from 1-10 (worst-10) — my life is more depressing than it sounds overall, so i give it a 6.

tagging: take it from me

[izzyovercoffee]

Do you have any ships in the clone wars/repcom fandom?

DO I

TBH I have a really… really long list of ships. I’m one of those people that could potentially ship anyone/everyone given enough time to come up with at least vaguely acceptable reasoning. 

I mean … I’m the one behind the ship of Mereel and The Stars so I don’t … uh, have a whole lot of requirements for shipping.

My lines are: Everyone is an Adult at time of ship; and any potentially coercive relationships are written with a very clear, honest presentation and understanding of that coercive nature (zero tolerance policy for romanticizing abuse).

Fair warning, though: I do have clone/clone ships, too, and I know that makes people uncomfortable — hence the warning. And for the record, any of the below ships? I don’t expect anyone else to ship it, and I don’t generally expect people to be down w/ it or write it, either. B’)

I also … have Mereel listed kind of a lot in here. He just has so much love to give, okay. B’)

and under a cut bc damn this got long

Republic Commando: 

Mereel and the Stars

Stars. Ka’ra. Ruling Council of Fallen Leaders. 

When Mand’alore die, it’s said they ascend to the stars. Is that where it ends, really, or do they become something more, something greater than they were in life? And if they do — do they interact with the people?

Do they keep favorites? Do they adore and adulate their champions?

And how difficult, exactly, is that relationship for the mortal who can’t quite reach out and touch the one he loves most?

Ordo and Besany

like honestly my OTP for the longest time lmao 

I never finished my ‘Are These For Me?’ 30 drabbles for them … but maybe one day. One day.

Fi and Ordo

Boy meets Boy. Boy compliments Boy’s skirt. Boy hugs other Boy so hard they hit the floor.

#true love

Besany, Fi, Ordo

Besany is the type of person who is so kind, and so considerate, and so understanding. And Fi … he needs that. He needs it just as much as Ordo needs it, and as they need each other, and Besany. 

Some might not find a closed polytriad “normal,” but if it works for them, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. 

Darman and Etain 

My heart constantly breaks for them. They deserved so much better than what they got, and it kills me.

And their relationship was so … so good. So good, in the beginning. Tragic, what Kal did to them.

Atin and Laseema

They were lucky in that they weren’t Kal’s favorites, and so were able to fly mostly under the radar and out of his attention. Kal still held a lot of … really unhealthy financial control over them, but … I genuinely feel that Atin and Laseema could relate deeply on several levels.

They have… compatible demons, for lack of a better term. They balance each other. And Laseema was always an interesting character I wish we could learn more of — and her friendships with the rest of the clan. After all, she seemed to be the one in active communication with everyone. 

Niner and Boss

Listen … I love this ship. I feel like there’s a lot of UST going on whenever they’re onscreen, and it’s an interesting sort of dichotomy that goes on between them — two sergeants of two squads whose trainers viciously hated each other during training days. 

There’s a competitiveness there that can’t really be quashed, but there’s also an understanding that exists between them that’s unique to their experiences.

Jaing and Kom’rk

This is one of those incredibly obscure, controversial ships. 

Full disclosure: this is a pretty fucked up ship, and it’s mostly from the perspective of “wow, that’s kinda fucked up.” I don’t expect anyone else to ship it, and I don’t generally expect people to be down w/ it or write it, either. If they do, the fucked-up part needs to be recognized and recognizable, however obliquely, or it just doesn’t work. 

They’re two very damaged people, there’s no use shying away from that. 

I fell into this ship by total accident, going through all the nulls’ tags on ao3 years ago and stumbled on one fic, and like … since then, I haven’t really been able to climb out this hole.  

Corr, Ruusan, and Jilka

I am not a fan of Corr and Jilka, alone.

That said … I am a fan of Corr and Ruusan, of Jilka and Ruusan, and … of the potential dynamics of this poly combination, with the given that Jilka and Corr remain platonic as opposed to romantic. 

It just feels more … balanced? Also Rev @thesummerstorms and Gena @cassiansfuzzyjacket explain it way better than I do.

RepComm crack!ships:

these are very, very clearly not-canon and not to ever be taken as canon (by me, at least?) but damn. they’re nice to think about, and try to come up with ways in which it might work.

Etain and Mereel

“WHAT THE FUCK IZZY?” I KNOW! I KNOWWWWWW

But more seriously … Mereel was there every day for Etain during a very, very difficult time (the months after her almost-miscarriage). Of all the characters in the series during the course of the series, after Etain and Darman, Etain and Mereel spend the most unobstructed alone time together (about three months?) — and we would never know because, lol, the pacing and timeline of the series is not really presented in a way that makes that noticeable.

Mereel also does something with Etain he doesn’t do with anyone else, ever, that we see in the series: admit vulnerability. He’s genuinely vulnerable with her, in a way that he is not with anyone else. That means something — especially given the context that he doesn’t open up with anyone else, not his brothers, and never Kal. 

Someone that Mereel can be genuinely vulnerable with? That he must trust, implicitly, to share that vulnerability? 

And then you have Etain, who is isolated after the mess of pregnancy news blows up. She’s someone who doesn’t have anyone she can trust, or depend on, who isn’t looking to use her in some way — or someone that she can be equally open and honest with — in those months … right up until Mereel (and Rav), when she’s evac’d to Kyrimorut.

And when she is, she’s treated like a whole person. Not someone who’s just a vessel for a potential, not someone to be used or leveraged for misogynistic reasons. A genuine, whole, person who is highly intelligent, highly capable — and treated as an actual equal. She was not given that respect since the conclusion of Hard Contact (except, briefly, when hunting with Vau).

The whole situation, as terrible as it all is, allows for the foundation of genuine, real, trust to form between them.

There’s a lot of … well, there’s a lot of potential there. A lot of room for complications and conflicted feelings and angst — UST and one-sided pining and mixed signals and confusion and just raw feeling — and it’s all things that don’t necessarily need to be resolved negatively (or right away, or at all), that don’t have to end in heartbreak, that can be just as it is: complicated feelings that begin during a difficult time and, given room to grow, become something else or something more many, many years down the line.

Mereel and Boss

Don’t even look at me.

So this ship came as a result of SW RP (bc of course it did) and, tbh, they have a lot of … difficult commonalities and clashes of personality. Boss is a difficult man with a lot on his shoulders — a lot of responsibility, a lot of stress, just … a lot. And Mereel? Mereel is someone good at managing stress — out of necessity, and practice, and effort.

And the thing with Mereel is he’s fun, he’s easy, and he demands nothing. Boss doesn’t need to take care of him, because Mereel can take care of himself — and sometimes Mereel can take care of Boss, whether he likes it, or not (or likes to say he doesn’t when he does).

Boss certainly needs someone like that, especially after long days and hard nights with other people always needing him, depending on him. It’s good, it’s necessary, to have someone for whom he can truly relax and let his guard down around — that he can trust implicitly, and be allowed to be vulnerable, to have his ugly parts exposed, and still be loved unconditionally, because that’s just what Mereel’s best at doing.

Parja and Mereel

“SERIOUSLY?” LISTEN

This also came as a result of SW RP, and mostly takes place in an AU where … Parja and Fi’s relationship inevitably crumbles, and they split — but they split amicably, and remain friends. Parja remains a mechanic and never is forced to give up her shop because of (poor misogynistic writing and) Kal. 

Mereel and Parja and Bardan are all particularly good friends and get up to all kinds of nonsense and pranks, and prank wars.

And … sometimes, late nights spent tinkering on separate projects in the same space, late nights working on the same projects, late nights spent together — and sometimes Mereel can’t quite come clean that he needs someone, that well after the conclusion of the war he needs physical contact in order to sleep.

And after the end of what Parja put too much stock and energy into what she hoped would be a sure future, a sure thing — maybe it hurts too much to sleep alone, but it’s too much of a risk to fill that empty space with romance when she’s not ready. Why not someone she trusts, that she knows would never, not ever, not in a million years, ever cross that boundary — someone who would never violate that trust, never take the invitation to share her bed as anything more than just that: a mutually beneficial way to get some rest.

Sometimes feelings happen. Gradually, and slow, and sneaks up on even the most vigilant. After a while, it becomes expected. After a while, it becomes wanted. After a while, they become needed.

other ships I’ve fallen into that I don’t have time/want to explain:

FI AND SEV

Atin/Sev

Sev/Boss

Scorch/Sev

MAZE/ZEY

Jaing/Sev

Fixer/peace of mind

Uthan/Mij (but way more hostile on Uthan’s part)

Walon/his star-crossed princess (literally, a real thing. I can’t get over how this is an actual thing)

Clone Wars:

admittedly, it’s been a while since I watched the series all the way through, but … repeating the warning for clone/clone bc that’s a thing in here, and the explanations are shorter bc, again, it’s been a while.

Marshal Commander Cody and Captain Rex

Their personalities mesh so well together, and honestly they’re just … so compatible ??? They also work so well together, went through training together … if there’s anyone Rex can really trust implicitly, it’s Cody.

Their friendship grows over the series and expanded (Legends) materials, and just … it works, in the way they need it to work.

Echo and Fives

Just punch me right in the chest.

really any combination from Domino Squad

because we all need tragedy in our hearts

General Aayla Secura and Commander Bly

You know … for the most part, I’m a little leery on ships like this where there’s a clear and obvious potential for really serious coercion. Most Clone/Jedi-who-are-their-direct-superiors tend to fall into this category.

but I’m just a sucker for Bly-post-war angst, for the conflict of fraternizing with a superior, with trying to navigate that Aayla really did have his life in her hands, and then the conflict of navigating those feelings surrounding killing her at the end of the war.

I’m a terrible person.

Duchess Satine Kryze and Obi-wan Kenobi

let me just like … repeat the above. My one thing about this is that I hate how Satine was killed off for Kenobi-man-pain, and generally only want to know stories that you know … fix-it, lmao, or give her a more respectable death that was written with better care to her character and her arc

Ventress and Obi-wan Kenobi

All of that flirting went fuck and nowhere. What a hugely missed opportunity — especially when Ventress was trying to work towards being better, or making a life for herself, turn over a new leaf or whatever.

I mean, we all know she hangs out in the kind of tapcafs Kenobi loves to get drunk in, let’s be honest with ourselves.

clone wars crack!ships :

I’m sorry in advance lmao

Captain Rex and Lieutenant Mereel

“What the hell.” Listen.

“Did this come out of SW RP?” HOW DID YOU GUESS.

Much like the other ships with Mereel, it’s all contingent on … Mereel operating as a free agent — a solo operator. Mereel pulling strings and favors across the GAR to make things just a little bit easier for Rex, for clearing up or speeding up administrative bull shit so that Rex can focus on getting what he needs for his men in a reasonable amount of time — or free up some time for himself.

And with the way Mereel’s … operations tend to go, paths sometimes cross that didn’t before. 

Anyway, who doesn’t like camping?

Quinlan Voss and Obi-wan Kenobi

Listen … they have a kind of fun playfully antagonistic thing going on. I don’t know if I could ever seriously ship it, mostly bc everyone who falls in love with either of them straight up die, so we come to a “unstoppable force vs immovable object” impasse if this ship ever actually came to fruition.

that and fandom can be kinda … gross w/ this ship sometimes so I’ve been avoiding it lately for that reason.

Senator Padme Amidala and Duchess Satine Kryze

how can anyone watch the episodes where they’re together and not see how good they are together. and like, the men in their lives, cause their deaths. so why not just … leave their men for each other?

Everyone wins.

not exactly clone wars honorable mention:

Ahsoka Tano and Kaeden Larte

I ship it so hard. if only !!! if only they didn’t meet when they did, when Ahsoka wasn’t as wounded, still, from the fallout of the end of The Clone Wars. and all of that tragedy. i just.

I just !!! ugh. they’re so good together.

aaand I think that’s all of them, or at least all that I can remember off the top of my head for now.

[rfassholes]

headcanon where the rfa-v-saeran are in love with MC but they're in an unhealthy relationship with someone else where suddenly physical abuse happens for the first time and MC is so traumatized that they end up flinching at something that the rfa+v+saeran do, that's how they find out about it. you choose if you want everything to end platonically or romantically~ gracias!!

I’m sorry that this took me so long, but I hope you like it! This one was definitely interesting for me to write. However, I would like to say that most of these end on lighter notes, even though they deal with abuse. I’m sorry if that comes off as romanticizing it in any way, but I assure you that that was not my intent. As it is a request based around the topic of abuse, there’s obviously abuse warnings

Yoosung:

You and Yoosung were going to hang out for the night and you were on snack duty, so you came to the dorm after stopping at the convenience store

He shouted a greeting through the dorm saying he only needed another five minutes while you were setting your wallet and keys down

When you walked over to his desk, it looked like he was playing rough map and he had headphones on, so you decided to stay quiet and look through a book that was on an end table

Once you had settled in to the other chair and started the novel, you noticed that he was banging his mouse slightly with how much he was clicking it

You tried to ignore it but then he started to practically yell at the monitor

At this point, you were curled up into the chair, an instinct to make yourself smaller

Yoosung turned around in his chair in exasperation while taking off his headphones then noticed how you were sitting as his eyes widened slightly

You were trying to speak but you couldn’t without stuttering slightly

“S-sorry, Yoosung. You just s-scared me a bit-t” “Nononono, MC! I’m really sorry for getting angry. Are you alright?”

Taking a few breaths before you were to explain, you started moving to sit normally

“Yoosung, please don’t think any different of me when I tell you this, alright?”

In response, he just nodded wildly, forgetting about his game

“So remember when Zen asked me if I was dating anyone, and I said I just got out of a relationship? Key words, got out. I was, well, it was abusive, and I didn’t want to talk about it. You’re the only one of the RFA I’m telling for now, so please don’t say anything yet. Anyways, they would always yell at me before they would physically hurt me, so I associate someone yelling with that. I didn’t, I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything. I’m sor-“

Yoosung was not having this, but didn’t want to make you any less comfortable so he tried to keep his face straight

“MC! Don’t apologize! It’s, it’s not your fault at all. I should be really sorry, and I am. I got annoyed, because I’ve been in this area for the past four hours, and I haven’t been able to get a drop. I’m really really sorry! I’ll try my absolute best to not yell around you again, MC” “Thank-thank you, Yoosung” “Can I, can I hug you, MC?”

You nodded slightly and he practically teleported he went so fast to the chair you were on to hug you

“You’re really strong for going through that, MC, and I promise I won’t tell anyone else unless you say it’s okay”

Nodding again, you let him stay like that for a few minutes before offering to get up and get the food so you could watch the movie

Once you noticed he was crying ten minutes in, you laughed slightly thinking about how considerate he could be and how he wouldn’t hurt you

Nice to know for our, I mean, the future

dAMMIT, MC

Zen:

You were staying at his home since he got injured again, mindlessly watching some random soap opera while chatting in the messenger

Jaehee: I can’t believe that Zen is doing three roles in different productions at once.MC: Yeah, he’s not home much, and when he is, he’s practicing linesJaehee: He can only work so much. I hope he doesn’t work too hard.MC: It’s more promo pictures anyways lolJaehee: Very true! The ones that came out today are already saved on my phone

The front door opened with Zen finishing up a phone call

MC: Be right back, Jaehee. He just got back, and he looks a little pissedMC has left the chatroom

“-Yes, have a good evening, Sir” “Hi, Zen! How was tonight’s rehearsal? You sounded exaspera-“ “It was awful. Nobody could get their shit together while starting the dance numbers, and the director kept yelling”

He went on for a few minutes, ranting while putting his jacket and bag up by the door and waving his hands around

While he was turning around to face you with his hand still moving, you flinched slightly

Zen stopped talking instantly and put his arm down just as quickly

“MC! Babe, I would never hit you. I’m so sorry that you would think that! I promise that I’ll never go off aga-“ “Zen, it’s fine. I didn’t think you would,” you paused to word this correctly, “It’s just what I’m conditioned to do. Like a habit”

Half of you wanted for him to drop it, another part wanted him to ask so that someone would know

Besides, you trusted him the most out of RFA anyways

Back to the present, Zen looked downright personally attacked by what you said

“Why,” he stopped to fathom what would make you think any of this, “Why would someone hurt you? Who made you act like this, because I swear I will-“ “Hyun, please stay quiet, so I can explain”

He stayed quiet and led you to the couch so that you could both sit down

“It-it’s my significant other. When they hit the bottle, they, well, they hit me. I just flinch now whenever it’s similar to that. Not-not saying that you’re like them-“ “No no, I know what you mean. I swear that I won’t treat you like that ever. Could you maybe tell me who they are, because I’ll fight them outside the Wendy’s”

(I’m sorry, I know it’s meant to be serious, but my mind went no. Wendy’s is a fast food chain that’s established in around thirty countries)

Laughing slightly, you pointedly told him no and said they were in jail anyways

After your conversation, you noticed Zen was being quiet and you knew something was up

Rather than push it, you just sat with him and continued to watch your shitty soaps

“Hey, ah, MC?” “Yeah?” “Would you maybe like to go out with me? I just, well, I realized that I thought you deserved far better than what your significant other is giving you, and I’d like to try to help. This kind of helped me realized how much I’d like to date you. I swear that I’ll take on any repercussions that they make”

well, hE Ck

Again, two parts of you were weighing your options

You may’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship, if you went with this, and it seemed like a pretty okay idea

“That sounds good, uh, yeah, yes, Zen. However, it might take me a bit to be fully okay with everything”

This boy looked sO HAPPY

“Really? I mean, yes, of course. No worries if you need time”

You both ended up crashing on the couch that night, with the dramatic shows still looping in the background

After you had been dating for a few months, you noticed that Zen hadn’t been drinking any alcohol whatsoever

You just smiled, content with the new life you were living

Seven: (Route spoilers right off the bat. I’m sorry! Based on what actually happens in the route, this’ll probably seem ooc, but I’m trying my best!)

After Seven’s acclaimed twin had left, you were pretty shaken up by the ordeal

Seven was acting really distant as well, and that wasn’t helping

Since he acted much differently on the messenger, you were sure it was your fault he was acting so cold

Trying to do something that could lighten his mood, you made some lunchIt may not be a bag of chips and a can of soda, but you figured this would be better

You walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder since he had his headphones on

He turned around far too quickly while yanking one half of his headphones to the side

“MC! Don’t bug me, you have no reason to, so just stop!”Around after he said your name, you dropped the plate at the slight outburst and he didn’t realize it until he stopped

“S-sorry, S-sev-seven!” you spoke hurriedly with a heavy stutter while you were getting on your knees to clean up the food and plate shards, “I-I didn’t mean t-to make you mad-d. I’ll, I’ll get this picked up as soon as possible”

You were surprised when he silently got off his chair to help but finished cleaning up what you could with shaking hands

Going to get a trashcan, you heard him mumbling “stupid” and “an idiot” and thought the worst then subconsciously prepared to get yelled at while dragging it to where the plate was dropped

Seven, on the other hand, was trying to figure out why he was clouded enough to not realize that you had been abused earlier

Granted, you didn’t talk much about it through any messaging service or social media and didn’t join any support groups or the like, but he still should’ve known to avoid all this

“Seven? I, I know you’re angr-“ “MC, it’s alright. I didn’t mean to make you panic; I didn’t realize what had happened for a few seconds. I’m an idiot for shouting when you were just bringing me food. Even stupider for having you pick up most of it”

He smiled sadly for just a second before bending over to get all of ceramic and food mess into the bag while you were silently standing, stunned

“MC? Is everything alright?” You nodded as if you were shaking something off “Yeah, yeah, I just thought you were going to slap me or something. I mean, I made a huge mess and you were already pissed at me and I was getting in the way and-“ “MC. I would never, ever slap you, okay? You’re never in the way, alright? I’m trying to keep all of this together right now, and I shouldn’t have snapped when you were trying to take care of me”

You were confused because you were certain that he was only going to start yelling in a few seconds

“But you were calling me stupid and an idiot when I went to get the bin?” “No! Nononono, MC, I was calling myself that, because I hadn’t put it together until then and I make you panic” “Put what? Oh, uh, yeah” “Yeah, I won’t ask you anything about it unless you’d like to tell me, but I understand. Personal experiences are shitty”

Seven offered another slight smile before going to speak again

“I’ll try my absolute hardest to not do something like that again, I swear to God. Nobody deserves to go through that, and especially not you. I’m going to drop whatever stone cold bitch façade I was using to tell you this right now, I care about you a lot, MC. Like a whole fuck ton, and I was pushing you away, because I’m really, very dangerous. I know that I keep saying that, but with the people I’m working with, I can’t have someone that I care about. However, I promise you that once everything is sorted out, I’ll be able to act better for you”

Once again, you were silently stunned at the apology and confession he just gave

You moved to hug him and he did just that, keeping you as tightly as he could for a few seconds

“Thank-thank you, Seven” “Absolutely”

Jumin: (Also one filled with route spoilers, sorry)

While you were staying at his apartment, he noticed that you were frequently texting someone and you always seemed to be wincing whenever it sent

As a matter of fact, he saw you wincing a lot whenever you bumped into something or got up

Jumin didn’t want to push it, but when he kissed you in front of the Chois and you tried to push him away as fast as possible, he decided to ask once they left

“MC, I am so deeply sorry for doing that. I pushed myself onto you, and it is completely unforgivable. Even though I want to keep you safe here, you can most definitely leave if you wish. I can’t believe I would do that to you, but I don’t have a good grasp on reading your emotions and I sincerely apologize for my actions” “No, it’s alri-“ “MC. What I did was horribly wrong. Don’t feel bad for leaving whatsoever” “Jumin, listen for a second. My reaction made it seem like I was disgusted, but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m sure this is confusing, so just give a little bit to explain”

He looked really confused but just nodded and gestured to the living room so that you could speak sitting down

“Jumin, I’m going to straight up tell you that I didn’t mind that you kissed me. It was how. I’m currently in a relationship-no, don’t freak out over making me “unfaithful” or anything-that’s quite abusive. My partner constantly forces me to do things with them. They’re who I’m texting, because they’re angry that I haven’t seen them in the past week. They’re also the reason I’ve got bruises on my sides. It scared me a bit when you did that randomly, but I don’t want you to think that I want leave right now, especially when it’s to keep me not dead”

Jumin nodded in response, but he didn’t look confused anymore; he looked both downcast and angry

“I can’t believe someone would do that to you, MC. Please tell me you’ll get away from them soon. I can’t stand to think of you getting hurt that way and forced to do things like that for them. If you need me to help with contacting someone or lawyers, I assure you I’ll find the best internationally for you. If you’d like to continue whatever we’re doing right now, I swear that I’ll always ask before I do anything and make sure it’s alright”

At the moment, you didn’t realize you were crying silently, but it wasn’t out of sadness, no, it was joyful

“Thank you, Jumin. That’s more than enough. Could you help me write a script of sorts for when I call them to dump them?” “Most definitely, MC. Anything I may do to help” “And Jumin?” “Yes?” “I’d quite like to continue what we’re doing”

He looked slightly surprised at what you said and eager to help you draft your phone call

After nearly an hour of deleting and rewriting what you were to say, you collectively decided to fuck it and just call

You were greatly anxious but Jumin’s presence was calming, especially the fact he was whispering encouragement while the phone rang

“Yes, hello…No, that won’t be necessary…I called to tell you to go fuck yourself…You heard me perfectly well…Because I’m not putting up with this anymore…Not only is it disgusting, you can’t do anything to stop the fact I’m leaving or the fact I found someone else…Yes, he’s quite nice. Would you like to speak to him?”

You swore that you had never heard someone monotonously swear that much and you were silently laughing while Jumin was using explicits every other word in the Business Guy voice

He hung up after you gave a “Bye, bitch!” and you broke down into laughter and speaking in between it

“Thank-oh God-thank you, Jumin. You-fuck, that was hilarious-you helped me out more than I can imagine, and this is probably the hardest I’ve laughed in months. Seriously, thank you,” you decided to mimic his Business Guy voice, “Mr. Han”

This time he started laughing too and that fueled you to continue

Definitely something to remember

After you both had calmed down, you were both silently looking at the other fondly

“MC?” “Yeah, Mr. Han?” “Sh-shut up” “Make me”

You stopped for a second, thinking about the invitation you just put out there

“Can I kiss you?” “Yeah, you dork”

Scratch what you said before, this was something to remember

V:

While you were at the party, V had noticed that you had someone else with you, but assumed it was your current partner

The fact that you had someone had him crestfallen, but he reminded himself that they made you happy and that’s what matters

Oh boy

Little did he know, you were getting yelled at outside for interacting with one guest and that “cotton candy-haired asshole” too much

That is, until a security guard came up to him mid-conversation and informed him of two people outside

He decided that he wouldn’t be told if they couldn’t take care of it, so he followed them out to see you trying to get absorbed by the outside of the building and someone yelling at you

“Excuse me? Why are you harassing, MC, the coordinator of this event?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, you blue-haired fuck” “Yes, I quite would like to know if you could stop being a jackass”

No matter the fact that this was serious and you weren’t a six-year-old, you snickered quietly at the fact he swore

“Actually, you’re not worth my time. MC, could you explain please?” “Oh, uh,” you glanced at your partner and smirked just a bit, realizing you finally had witnesses, “Jihyun, this is, this is my abuser. They were trying to act possessive by shouting at me out here. Actually, they were telling me that I can’t talk to you or take care of my job”

V had already blanked at the word abuser, now fueled with hatred but keeping the calm appearance

“They, they’re your what? Never mind, I already heard it. MC, I’m getting you out of that arrangement as soon as possible”

He simply nodded to the guard that had brought him to the scene then offered his arm to you so that he could take you back inside

While you were walking back, realization of what you had done was settling in and you started to visibly shake

“MC? Is everything alright? Never mind, another stupid question. Hold on for just a second”

He had you sit at a table that was near the entrance where the least people were and got you a glass of water from a server walking by

“What you did was really brave, alright? You were able to do in a couple of seconds what I couldn’t throughout an entire relationship and then some. I promise that I’ll keep you protected from them,and they will never be allowed to come into contact with you again, okay? I swear that on my life”

Nodding with a shaky smile, you drank some of the water and thought everything over again

“Thank you, really, V, thank you. For helping me end that and helping me calm down”

After you conversed about random things for a while just to calm down, he escorted you back to the main area where everyone else was

Seven walked up to the two of you with a grin on his face

“What were you two up to? Screwing in the bathroom?”

You glanced over to see a red-faced Jihyun and you could’ve swore you heard him mumble “I wish” to which your face also heated up

“L-Luciel!” “That’s my name! Plus, I heard what you just said, V!” “No, you didn’t” “Keep lying to yourself!”

Seven left with a cheeky wink and the both of you blushing wildly like awkward teenagers

Hmm, not a bad idea, though, Seven

wait shit

You said that aloud

“Yeah, not bad at all, Luciel”

You ended up getting winked at again with your face feeling hotter than before

Saeran:

You came over to hang out with Seven at the bunker while Saeran was staying there

Turns out, Seven got assigned some new project and had to start it right away, but you didn’t feel like going back to your apartment

“Hey, Saeran?” “What do you want now?” “Bitch, I walked through the door and I haven’t even spoken to you today” “…Fair point. Continue”

“Since your brother’s working, do you wanna do something?” “Like?” “Watching shitty movies with ice cream?”

Ice cream was the way to Saeran’s heart so he agreed upon the mention of it

You were at least 87% sure he wouldn’t have agreed if there wasn’t ice cream involved

Going to the kitchen, you noticed Seven brought his equipment out into the living room

You were kind of confused, considering he’d probably want to be somewhere with no distractions

Saeran, on the other hand, glared at him

You were going to the freezer get a gallon out while you heard the brothers bickering

“What’re you two talking about?”

Seven flatly said “You” while Saeran hurriedly said “Nothing!”

The red-head earned another glare when he gave a thumbs up to you

You just shook your head with a smirk while getting a scoop from a drawer along with two bowls

“Seven? You want any?” “Only if I’m allowed to put chips on it”

Half-laughing and half-sighing with a smile, you got another bowl while Saeran walked into the kitchen after telling his brother to “just fuck off already”

You were getting the bowls filled when Seven started yelling out and swearing at his laptop

The scoop clattered to the floor when you had jumped at the sudden outburst

Saeran looked bored by it, but when he saw how panicked you looked, you couldn’t quite place what emotion he was displaying

“Uh, you alright there?” “What? Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, the yelling just sorta reminded me of something” “Are you sure you’re alright?” “To be honest, no, but can I tell you later?”

He nodded and bent down to get the scoop before rinsing it off and finishing getting everyone’s food

You brought the bowls to the couch and set Seven’s next to him cautiously while warily looking at him

Saeran made an assumption, but decided to just wait for you to explain

Seven gave a quiet thanks and you still looked slightly panicked but Saeran tried to distract you

“MC? Come sit by me” “Al-alright?” “What do you want to watch?” “Oh, whatever you pick is fine”

He shrugged and flipped through channels until deciding on some psychological thriller type movie

Once he noticed his brother put his headphones on, he decided to ask about it

“Could you explain now? I don’t think Asshat over there is listening if that’s what you’re worried about” “Yeah, I-I can; just please don’t react harshly. Right now, I’m in a relationship that I’ve kept from RFA, and Seven shouldn’t have been able to tell either. It’s fairly abusive towards me, and when your brother shouted, it reminded me of last night’s beating. I, well, I get kind of worried when I mess stuff up, so I thought he’d be mad at me even though it was only his work. But, yeah, that’s why loud noises make me react like that”

He stayed quiet for a few seconds before speaking quietly but clearly

“I will fucking kill them, MC” “Saeran! No, it’s-“ “Don’t say it’s alright; we both know it isn’t.  How dare they hurt you?” “Saeran, I’ll get out of it soon. It’s just-“ “MC, as much as I would like to stay calm about this, it’s not ‘just’ anything. You shouldn’t be treated like that, and I want your abuser six feet under”

Knowing that he could very easily murder them, you tried your best to get him to stop thinking about it

Finally, he got quiet again and you were able to relax back into the couch

“MC?” “Mhm?” “Could you-I can’t believe I’m asking this-could you lay by me? I would just hug you, but I don’t want to hurt you, since you’ve got injuries” “You’re a fucking dork, you know that right?” “Just be quiet and come over here…if that’s alright” “Of course it is”

After setting your bowl to the side, you moved over to be by him

“Is this better, Saeran?” “Much” “Good, ‘cause I feel safe like this” “Really?” “Mhmm, its nice to be by someone that has a comforting presence” “MC, I literally kidnapped you” “Yeah, but okay, yes, you kidnapped me” “See?” “I can’t explain it, but I like being by you” “Me too”

You both stayed like that until the credits rolled and Seven was giving his brother another thumbs up

Once you were sure Seven wasn’t paying too much attention, you spoke again

“Thanks, Saeran, for giving me someone who I could confide” “Anytime, MC. Though the murder offer still stands” “I don’t need you winding up in prison, alright?” “Seems fair.  Can we still at least trash their car?” “Oh, hell’s yeah” “Now?” “Now”

You both got up while smiling wildly and Seven just stayed focused on his work

Saeran grabbed his jacket by the door and told his brother that he was going to go slash some tires

Walking to your car, you opened his door and bowed sarcastically before going to your seat and starting up the car

Smashing those windows and scratching in words and cutting up tires made you feel the happiest you had been in a while

After you both got back in the car and headed back to the bunker, it was nearly two am, so you decided to stay over

“Hey, MC?” “Yes, Saeran?”

You noticed that he stayed quiet and looked up to seeing him with a slightly red face

“Mind staying with me tonight?” “Not at all”

I really hoped that you all liked this one, but I will gladly change anything that isn’t right or add something that you would like. I hope you all have good mornings/afternoons/evenings, and much love to you all!