#Siding Repair and Maintenance

[mac-exteriors]

How to Choose the Right Siding for Your House and Avoid Common Mistakes

Choosing the right siding for house is crucial for protecting your home, enhancing curb appeal, and improving energy efficiency. However, many homeowners struggle with selecting the right material, finding skilled installers, and maintaining their siding. Poor choices can lead to water damage, fading, cracking, and costly repairs.

If you’re wondering, “What is the best siding for my house?”, “Which siding is the most durable?”, or “How do I avoid common siding installation mistakes?”, this guide will help you make an informed decision.

Problem #1: Choosing the Wrong Type of Siding for house

❌ The Issue: Not All Siding Materials Suit Every Home

The wrong siding choice can lead to:

Frequent maintenance due to material wear and tear.

Poor weather resistance, causing cracks and mold growth.

Inefficient insulation, leading to high energy bills.

✅ The Solution: Pick a Durable and Weather-Resistant Siding Material

Here are the most common siding for house options and their benefits:

✅ Vinyl Siding – Affordable, low maintenance, and weather-resistant. ✅ Fiber Cement Siding – Extremely durable, fire-resistant, and long-lasting. ✅ Wood Siding – Offers a classic look but requires regular maintenance. ✅ Metal Siding – Modern, rust-resistant, and great for extreme climates. ✅ Brick and Stone Veneer – Premium aesthetic with long-term durability.

📞 MAC Exteriors helps homeowners choose the best siding for their house based on durability, cost, and energy efficiency.

Problem #2: Hiring an Unqualified Contractor for Siding Installation

❌ The Issue: Poor Workmanship Leads to Structural Problems

Many homeowners hire cheap or unlicensed siding contractors, which can result in:

Gaps and misalignment, allowing water infiltration.

Loose siding panels, leading to damage in high winds.

Improper sealing, causing insulation and moisture issues.

✅ The Solution: Choose a Certified and Experienced Siding Installer

To ensure high-quality siding for your house, always:

Verify the contractor’s license, insurance, and references.

Check online reviews and request previous project examples.

Ask for a written contract with clear pricing and warranty details.

📞 MAC Exteriors provides professional siding installation services, ensuring your home is protected and visually appealing for years to come.

Problem #3: Ignoring Energy Efficiency in Siding Selection

❌ The Issue: Poor Insulation Increases Utility Bills

If you don’t choose energy-efficient siding, you may experience:

Heat loss in winter and overheating in summer.

Higher energy costs due to poor home insulation.

Uncomfortable indoor temperatures throughout the year.

✅ The Solution: Invest in Insulated and Energy-Efficient Siding

Choose insulated vinyl or fiber cement siding for better thermal performance.

Install house wrap and moisture barriers to improve insulation.

Use light-reflecting colors to minimize heat absorption.

📞 MAC Exteriors specializes in energy-efficient siding for houses, helping homeowners reduce energy costs and maintain a comfortable home.

Problem #4: Not Considering Weather Resistance

❌ The Issue: Some Siding Materials Don’t Hold Up in Extreme Climates

Different climates require different siding materials. Using the wrong type can lead to:

Cracking in extreme cold.

Warping in high humidity.

Fading from excessive sun exposure.

✅ The Solution: Choose Siding Based on Your Climate

For humid areas – Use fiber cement or metal siding for moisture resistance.

For cold climates – Consider insulated siding to retain warmth.

For sunny regions – Choose UV-resistant siding to prevent fading.

📞 MAC Exteriors helps homeowners find the best weather-resistant siding for their house, ensuring long-lasting protection.

Problem #5: Neglecting Regular Siding Maintenance

❌ The Issue: Lack of Upkeep Shortens the Siding’s Lifespan

Even high-quality siding for house requires maintenance. If ignored, issues can include:

Dirt and mold buildup, making the siding look aged.

Cracks and gaps, allowing water and pests to enter.

Fading and peeling, reducing curb appeal.

✅ The Solution: Follow a Routine Siding Maintenance Plan

Wash siding annually using a soft brush and mild detergent.

Inspect for cracks, gaps, and loose panels every season.

Repaint or reseal wooden siding to protect against moisture damage.

📞 MAC Exteriors offers siding maintenance and repair services, ensuring your home stays protected and visually appealing for years to come.

Final Thoughts: Choosing the Best Siding for Your House

Finding the right siding for house is essential for protection, insulation, and curb appeal. However, hiring the wrong contractor or neglecting maintenance can lead to cracks, moisture damage, and costly repairs.

At MAC Exteriors, we: ✅ Offer expert siding installation with high-quality materials. ✅ Provide energy-efficient siding options for lower utility costs. ✅ Ensure professional craftsmanship for long-lasting results.

📞 Contact MAC Exteriors today for a free consultation on expert siding for house, and give your home the protection and style it deserves!

[business4u]

Gutters Repair Services in DFW

Gutters Repair Services in DFW Metroplex area help prevent water damage by keeping your home’s drainage system functioning properly. Experts handle gutter repairs, including fixing leaks, unclogging drains, and addressing misaligned sections, to ensure proper water flow. Protect your home’s foundation and exterior with reliable gutter repair solutions.

[chrissycogan]

Atlas Home Repair is your go-to Handyman contractor in Lake Dallas TX. Specializing in a wide range of home repair services near you, we offer top-notch painting services, drywall installation and repairs, electrical services, and siding services. Whether you need a reliable painting contractor to refresh your home's look or comprehensive home maintenance services to keep everything in perfect condition, our skilled team is here to help. We pride ourselves on delivering high-quality general home repair services that meet your needs and exceed your expectations. Trust Atlas Home Repair for all your home improvement projects, big or small, and experience the difference that professional craftsmanship and dedication to customer satisfaction can make. Contact us today for expert handyman services and let us transform your house into the home of your dreams.

[jennifergmb]

For exceptional roofing services, trust the experts at Rebel Roofer. As a premier roofing contractor in Bethesda MD, we excel in delivering high-quality roof installation services. Our comprehensive roof inspections help identify issues early, ensuring the longevity of your roof. We offer reliable roof replacement services nearby, giving your home a fresh and sturdy cover. Additionally, our skylight installation services bring natural light into your living spaces. At Rebel Roofer, customer satisfaction is our priority, and we strive to exceed your expectations with every project. For all your roofing needs, rely on us, the trusted Siding contractor in Bethesda MD.

[pricebrothersrestoration]

Welcome to Price Brothers Restoration in Pickerington, Ohio

Price Brothers Restoration is a local Pickerington roofing company serving Central Ohio. We provide general roofing and exterior home improvement services such as roof installation and repair, siding, gutters, and masonry services. We are a GAF certified, family owned business with over 40 years of combined experience in the home improvement industry. Our expertise and versatility in product knowledge and installation methods allows us to deliver durable, long lasting solutions for your home. Our roof replacement services are backed by extended warranties from GAF, the largest shingle manufacturer of which we are also certified installers. We pride ourselves with our exceptional customer service, prioritizing what YOU want while ensuring the quality of our work. Our skilled team of exterior remodelers ensures that every project is completed with precision and care. We work throughout the greater Central Ohio area from Pickerington to Columbus, Gahanna to Lancaster, Pataskala and more. Contact us for a free roof inspection and we'll be able to prevent any leaks or damage to your home. Call 614-512-4530. Price Brothers Restoration 19 N Center St. STE 1025, Pickerington, OH, 43147 614-512-4530

[imsexteriors]

Premier Roofing Services | Quality Roofing Services - IMS Exteriors

Whether you need a new roof, a roof repair, a roof maintenance, or a roof inspection, IMS Exteriors is the best roofing company for you.

We offer a variety of roofing services for residential & commercial properties, using the best materials and equipment in the industry.

We have a team of qualified and experienced roofers who can handle any roofing challenge. We guarantee our work and our customer satisfaction.

Contact us today for a free estimate.

Call at (712)435-9644 or visit the website: https://ims-exteriors.com/

[ditzydoe444]

MDNI 18+

mechanic jason! smut

older mechanic jason who is always covered in grease and oil whilst working on cars, and either wore a flimsy white tank stained with lil and grease or completely shirtless. though, it was usually the latter.

his large hands could easily grip the tools which looked comically small in his grasp, like children’s toy. the muscles in his bicep would flex and become more pronounced as he worked on the car, and the veins on his hands becoming more prominent.

his garage was old, rusty and dark. the lighting was quite dim with only one main source of overhead light, oil and grease stains on the dark concrete floor and the sound of his occasional grunts and curses when working on a stubborn car.

essentially, this place was not meant for a girl that looked soft, prim and proper. he remained focused as he worked on an old convertible, with the hood popped up. the summer heat and the lack of air ventilation resulted in jason ditching his tank and working shirtless, his bare skin glistening with sweat.

when he heard small footsteps coming closer he spoke up gruffly,

“what can i help you with?” he asked without even looking up, still focused on fixing the car.

“i need an engine repair, i think,” a soft voice responded which resulted in him turning his head.

he tried to suppress the shock that entered him when he first saw you, the juxtaposition couldn’t be more obvious. prim and proper against his rugged dirty state.

“an engine repair?” he questioned, as he wiped his grease stained hands on an old rag before walking to where she had parked outside his garage, the pink convertible couldn’t be more telling of her personality. spoiled, princessy, high maintenance.

he watched as you followed him like a lost puppy, as you nodded. clearly, you didn’t know a thing about cars.

“i can take a look at it now, i just finished up with the other one back there,” he motioned to the black convertible he was working on in the garage.

he tried to turn his gaze away from your exposed legs in the small mini skirt you were wearing, but he just couldn’t. when you were talking about the car’s issues all he could focus on was either your plump pink glossy lips, or your legs. when you had went to grab the lip gloss that you left on the passenger seat, your skirt rose up to a shockingly short length, though he quickly averted his gaze before he could see anymore.

it was inappropriate.

**

though it didn’t stop him from being balls deep in you when the price of the fix was too high, where his mind drifted off into other ways you could repay him. at first, he brushed it off thinking someone as prim and proper as you wouldn’t even think of it and he was just being dirty. however he was wrong, very wrong.

hence why you were sprawled out on the rough work bench on your back, random incoherent mumbles coming out, filling the empty garage with your lewd noises.

the small mini skirt and panties discarded on the dirty concrete floor, it was like a sign of your prim and proper self gone.

his large hands encircled nearly the whole of your waist, gripping the sides tightly as he moved harshly.

“never thought a girl as prim and proper as you would be doin’ somethin’ like this,” he grunted, his large hands roaming, one slid up, going over your breast before sliding higher to grip your throat.

you couldn’t even form proper thoughts, your mind going blank when you saw the small bulge in your stomach as he moved. he was big, too big.

“jay,” you mumbled your hand reaching out but falling back to your side when he continued to hit deeper.

he gave a low tut, almost mean, before a small sly smile formed on his rugged features.

“i know, i know” he cooed, bending to kiss your neck, one of his hand still wrapped around your throat squeezing it slightly.

“you gon’ keep this our lil secret huh?” he whispered as he bit your earlobe softly, “can’t have the word getting out i’m getting dirty with my customers,”

you didn’t even know what he said, but the sensation was too much, his was deep inside, and kissing you senselessly.

you mumbled a response, tears stained your face, mascara running.“glad to know we are on the same page sweet thing,” he whispered before both of his hands went to squeeze your stomach a little, just around where the outline of him was.

“all this for me?” he questioned a little breathless, as he stared at the mess you were making, small damp spots on the rough working bench, and a small white ring around his fat cock.

you nodded, you were too dazed to do anything else as he used you like a rag doll. he slipped two fingers into your mouth, shoving them down, whilst his other hand remained glued to your side, holding you down. you didn’t want his hand there, you wanted it somewhere else and he knew it. he was just being mean.

“jay,” you cried, though it sounded more muffled with his fingers stuffing your mouth as you choked out a response. though he knew exactly what you wanted, his fingers slipping out before going down, to the small sensitive bundle of nerves. he was rough, the sensation was too much, you kicked your legs, attempting to wiggle out but he kept you in your place, bullying your cunt.

he moved more vigorously, his harsh thrusts moving the work bench slightly, the table legs scratching against the concrete floor. “sweet thing, you ok?” he cooed, though you probably looked like anything but ok. your mascara was running down your cheeks, your lipstick and gloss was either smudged or completely gone, and saliva dripping down your chin.

“give me a smile baby, and i’ll give you want you want,” his grip on her was tightening. god you were so desperate for it, you attempted to give him a smile, the immense pleasure making it hard to do anything really. you gave him a soft smile, that lasted quite short when he kept hitting deeper.

“there we go, love that smile,” he grinned before giving you exactly what you wanted.

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining being nervous around the 141 and yet STILL garnering their attention.

Like, you've done everything in your power NOT to get noticed. You're as happy as a clam to work on all the behind the scenes issues. You don't even go out on the field!

You're the one to get gear in place, you're the one talking to Nik and supervising the equipment repairs. You make sure the armory is stocked and that the showers aren't running with rusty water.

You really DON'T want any eyes on you.

You just want to do your job and do it in fucking peace.

So why the hell are they always wanting your attention?

-

"There she is. Keepin' everything in order while 'm gone." Price chuckles, placing a hand on your back as he passes through the armory's narrow shelves. "Looking to take my spot as Captain hm, Love?"

You bury your face into your clipboard, trying desperately to ignore him. He's not going away but God do you want him to. His presence is always so overwhelming and his gaze so pointed. If you could shrink into nothingness you'd try.

-

"Oi, Bonnie!" Soap calls out to you at mess. He waves his arms wildly, making everyone look his way. "C'mere! Sit w' us today!"

He's so loud his voice echoes across the cafeteria. Recruits and lower ranking members shrink at the sound of it. So do you, even though you can hear only excitement in his tone instead of the usual ire he employs while training the rookies.

You know that if you decide to sit with your friends you'll never hear the end of it. But if you choose to sit with him and the rest of the all star task force you'll be under their gazes for the better part of the morning. You want to just drop your lunch tray and run out, but on unsteady legs and a bowed head you shuffle to the table.

-

"Well well, look who it is." Gaz huffs, looking up from his terminal set up in the surveillance room. "Thanks for packing those extra headset chords for me."

"Uh...yeah, no problem." You nod, trying to ignore him while simultaneously digging in an old box full of wires.

"Whatcha lookin' for?"

"Uh...a mouse. A wireless one."

"Here, take mine." He smiles, unplugging the tiny chip from the side of his laptop. "Need a new one anyway."

"It's alright I-"

"Just take it. You deserve it more than me." He hums, looking away wistfully. "If it weren't for those extra cords we wouldn't 'ave been able to call for evac on that last mission."

You take the mouse into your palm, feeling uneasy. Something about his demeanor isn't right. Gaz is always confident and sure. But the way he glances at you before he turns back to the computer makes you worried.

Is he...jealous?

You slip out of the door and close it behind you without making a sound.

-

"Need t' put a bell on you." Ghost grumbles. "Can't hear you n' those."

You stop midway down the hallway, confused and nervous.

You look down at your old, beat up reg boots from your PT days. They were definitely in need for a decommissioning, but they were comfy despite the fact that the soles had no tread anymore.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." You awkwardly mumble. "Need new ones."

"No."

You raise a brow at him. It was just the two of you in one of the maintenance hallways which was, ironically enough, poorly maintained. The overhead fluorescents flickered and made it hard to focus.

"Keep 'em." He nods, turning away and showing you the full breadth of his back. He mutters at you as while he keeps walking on.

"Keeps you under the radar."

[seat-safety-switch]

No matter who you are, what your station is in life, we all want the same thing. We're all unified by our desire to get pressure washers. Wait, what were you gonna say?

Life is full of things that get rusty and dirty. Engine blocks. The windows of your house. And we've only got so much time on this little blue marble to be cleaning them. That's why some geniuses at NASA or something came up with the pressure washer. It's like your garden hose, but more kick-ass. Pulling the trigger emits this perfect line of high-zoot water, which causes exciting things to happen to whatever you point it at.

Grit just disappears from the sidewalk. Paint disappears from the fender of your truck because you stood too close to it. You can knock out a day full of cleaning in just under an hour, which leaves you with a lot more free time to fix all the stuff you broke by pointing a 300psi needle of water at it. No power comes without consequence, which just makes us desire that power all the more. I'm built different, you tell the shattered husks of your wife's least-favourite lawn ornament. I'm not troubled by trifling concerns such as this when I wield the strength of ten gods.

Now, I've never bought a pressure washer. If you're reading this, you probably haven't, too. They're very expensive, and they take a lot of maintenance, such as not throwing it in the backyard every winter when you're tired of it. Used ones, you ask? A great idea, except the previous owner also threw it in their backyard, and all the o-rings are cacked. You'll spend a year of weekends just swapping them out, if you can even find them, and you'll never trust your crude hayseed repairs to what is generously considered an improvised backyard bomb enough to use it after that.

Luckily for all of us, there is another option. It's called "use it for a weekend and then return it to the store." Maybe it's noisy, or smells funny, or you just ran out of things to wash after you knocked all the vinyl siding off your house and nearly killed the neighbour. If you feel bad, don't. You're creating valuable jobs at the return desk. Chances are you won't even be the first person to have done it with that particular washer, too. Just wipe the blood off first.

[mac-exteriors]

Why Siding Installation Goes Wrong and How to Avoid Costly Mistakes

Investing in siding installation is one of the best ways to protect your home, enhance curb appeal, and improve energy efficiency. However, many homeowners run into problems such as poor installation, low-quality materials, and unexpected costs. Choosing the wrong contractor or neglecting proper maintenance can lead to cracks, warping, and water damage, resulting in expensive repairs down the line.

If you're wondering, “How do I choose the right siding for my home?”, “What are common siding installation mistakes?”, or “How do I find a reliable siding contractor?”, this guide will help you avoid costly errors and ensure long-lasting protection.

Problem #1: Hiring Unqualified Contractors for Siding Installation

❌ The Issue: Poor Workmanship Leads to Structural Problems

Many homeowners hire inexperienced or unlicensed siding contractors to save money, only to face:

Improper siding alignment, causing gaps that let in moisture.

Weak fastening, leading to loose or falling panels.

Warped or buckled siding, ruining the home’s appearance.

✅ The Solution: Choose a Certified and Experienced Siding Installer

To ensure high-quality siding installation, always:

Verify the contractor’s license, insurance, and experience.

Check customer reviews and previous work portfolios.

Get a detailed written estimate with labor and material costs.

📞 MAC Exteriors offers professional siding installation services, using top-quality materials and expert craftsmanship for long-lasting durability.

Problem #2: Choosing the Wrong Siding Material

❌ The Issue: Not All Siding Materials Are Equal

Selecting the wrong siding can lead to:

Fading and discoloration from harsh sunlight.

Moisture damage, causing rot and mold growth.

High maintenance requirements, leading to ongoing repair costs.

✅ The Solution: Pick the Best Siding for Your Home’s Needs

Here are the most popular siding installation materials and their benefits:

✅ Vinyl Siding – Affordable, low-maintenance, and weather-resistant. ✅ Fiber Cement Siding – Durable, fire-resistant, and long-lasting. ✅ Wood Siding – Classic appearance but requires more maintenance. ✅ Aluminum Siding – Rust-resistant and good for coastal climates.

📞 MAC Exteriors helps homeowners choose the best siding materials for durability, aesthetics, and energy efficiency.

Problem #3: Ignoring Energy Efficiency in Siding Installation

❌ The Issue: Poor Insulation Leads to Higher Utility Bills

Many homeowners overlook insulated siding, leading to:

Heat loss in winter and overheating in summer.

Higher energy costs due to poor home insulation.

Uncomfortable indoor temperatures year-round.

✅ The Solution: Choose Energy-Efficient Siding

Opt for insulated vinyl or fiber cement siding to improve temperature regulation.

Install house wrap and moisture barriers for extra protection.

Choose light-reflecting colors to reduce heat absorption.

📞 MAC Exteriors provides energy-efficient siding installation, helping homeowners lower utility costs and improve home comfort.

Problem #4: Poor Siding Installation Techniques

❌ The Issue: Small Mistakes Can Lead to Major Damage

Even high-quality siding can fail if not installed correctly. Common mistakes include:

Nailing siding too tightly, preventing natural expansion and contraction.

Leaving gaps, allowing moisture to penetrate and cause rot.

Skipping the weather barrier, leading to leaks and water damage.

✅ The Solution: Hire Professionals Who Follow Proper Installation Standards

Use the right fastening techniques to allow expansion without warping.

Apply a moisture-resistant underlayment to prevent water infiltration.

Ensure correct siding overlap and alignment for a seamless look.

📞 MAC Exteriors specializes in expert siding installation, following industry best practices for long-lasting results.

Problem #5: Neglecting Siding Maintenance After Installation

❌ The Issue: Lack of Upkeep Reduces Lifespan

Even the best siding installation won’t last without proper maintenance. Issues that arise from neglect include:

Mold and mildew growth, especially in humid climates.

Cracks and gaps, allowing pests and moisture to enter.

Dirt buildup, making the siding look dull and aged.

✅ The Solution: Follow a Regular Siding Maintenance Plan

Clean siding annually with a soft brush and mild detergent.

Inspect for cracks or warping and repair them immediately.

Repaint or seal wooden siding to prevent water damage.

📞 MAC Exteriors offers siding maintenance and repair services, ensuring your home stays protected and visually appealing for years to come.

Final Thoughts: Making the Right Choice for Siding Installation

Choosing the right siding installation is crucial for protecting your home, improving energy efficiency, and enhancing curb appeal. However, hiring the wrong contractor or ignoring maintenance can lead to cracks, warping, and expensive repairs.

At MAC Exteriors, we: ✅ Provide professional siding installation with durable materials. ✅ Offer energy-efficient siding options to lower utility bills. ✅ Ensure proper installation techniques to prevent long-term issues.

📞 Contact MAC Exteriors today for a free consultation on expert siding installation, and give your home the protection and style it deserves!

[lynxfrost13]

Very quickly scribbled concept + bonus Elster probably having a good stretch

I was thinking that maybe the intestines/lower digestive stuff is maybe in some sort of sac for ease of maintenance? U can just. Grab ur gut sack and take it out to get back there in case of needing fixing in deeper areas, etc maybe?

I’m gonna have to draw replikas in my style with their organs open for maintenance and such bc their middle plates can just be opened pretty easily.

The way I think about it is the middle section under the chest is flexible plating but those grey side “buttons” either can be clicked to pop them out or are hinges… it’s probably more practical to have removable plates instead of door ones that stay on and open during checkup??? Not sure

There’s gotta be an easy way to access those torso/tummy vitals and that’s just what I can come up with for now, replikas are fun to figure out

[tinydefector]

Every single day I think about your post about bots being freaky xenophiles about humans it is my Roman empire

Heheheh I'm glad you guys like it but here's some other funny ideas I have of humans being stupid little creatures forgetting that the bots are literally Alien robots.

- getting smoochy with one of the Bots and attempting to fondle them, you slap their headlight and their horn honks, scaring not only you but the bot themself, it kinda ruins the mood but it's worth the laugh afterwards.

- specifically an Optimus Prime one. Having to tell this bot to get a power wash before he's allowed to sleep with you becuase God forbid you have to lay beside him because all you can smell is diesel and it makes your stomach churn so badly. He will grumble about it but if it means he gets to cuddle and hold you of a night you can bet your boots he is squeaky clean. (Also leads to alot of bathroom fun)

- taking any of the speedsters to a show and shine, it's like a fuckin car porn show and the bots are just stunned. Rodimus is having the time of his life literally having humans touching every inch of him as they admire his paint and engine. He loves it even more when you get the bucket of water out. It becomes something he regularly ask you to go do with him becuase he loves having you dressed up all nice and showing him off. In more than one way the praise really makes him feel worth it. He loves having you lean into his engine bay asking if he's alright, asking to just let them know when he wants to go. And this bot treats you to a nice beach side date after. (He has every local show and shine dated) other bots who love this consist of. Tracks, Jazz, Mirage, Knockout(he likes making Breakdown Jealous. Get cucked in the back row)

-rust, it is ratchets most hated thing to deal with because of how corrosive it is to their frames, and trying to find something on earth that works well enough to clear it off so he can do surgerys leads him to the humans gifting him a large thing of Coca-Cola, it works just as well as clean cutter (cybertronian rust remover), when he realises the ingredients are very similar it makes life so much easier until he catches The humans drinking it and he nearly has a spark attack trying to make them regurgitate it. It leads to him finding out that humans casually drink it when they really shouldn't.

- the bugs and insect carnage left in the bots grills, windshield and just small gaps. The horror on one of the humans face when they kiss their bot and then that taste the nastness of dead bugs. Or them enjoying laying on their bot and then a spider crawls out of a gap, scurring right towards them. It leads to the bots regularly getting washes alot more that they ever would have on cybertron, and it's time each bot loves so much. Becuase it develops into pull sized bathtubs, power washing, polished and just proper care given to them.

Here's also a collection of new things humans do that become kinks or fetishes for the bots.

- cleaning/ washing,

- panel beating and repairs

-causal car maintenance

________________

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

Taglist

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[ilsanslut]

꒷♡꒷ STRESS RELIEF!

♰ featuring: wriothesley [genshin impact]

♰ note: i’m in heat and all i can think about is a stressed and tired wriothesley eating out his pretty gf from the back to relieve his tension.

sypnosis: get you a man who will drown in your pussy and call it “stress relief”! wc: 2.6k content/trigger warning(s): 18+. smut. femme/female bodied!reader. messy pussy-eating. dominant/feral!wriothesley. marking. biting. spanking. squirting. cursing. hand-holding. groping. hair pulling. ꒷꒦

It was almost as though Wriothesley was being crushed under the constant pressure of his job as the warden within the shadowy confines of the Fortress of Meropide. The burden of his obligations bore down on him like the merciless force of the sea that imprisoned them all within the stronghold. When a problem arose or strife broke out among the prisoners, he was the one they all turned to for help. Today, on the other hand, appeared to be the day that he would be pushed to his breaking point. There was a mountain of paperwork that was piled high on top of his desk and seemed to never end; the pipes seemed to trickle and leak indefinitely, necessitating constant repair; the elevators are out of commission for maintenance, forcing everyone to use the forgotten, decrepit, and mildew-smelling stairwell; and, to top it all off, there is a 'Credit Coupon' thief swiping people's credits beneath their noses. And, not to mention, he had been so backed up with dealing with everyone else’s problems that he had already missed his afternoon tea.

Anyone near could feel the ominous aura radiating off of the iron doors of his office.

Though, amidst the chaos and tension, one beacon of solace shone through—you. His light in the darkness. The one thing keeping him sane.

Your warm smile and unwavering support were the calming forces that held the key to unlocking his cold heart. He craved the comforting words you spoke, the softness of your touch, and the calm you provided amidst the chaos of everyday life. You turned into a haven for him—a haven from the relentless pressure that felt like it would swallow him.

Which is exactly why you weren’t surprised when a guard came to you while you were aiding Sigewinne with a patient, informing you that the Duke requested your presence in his office immediately. Lunch was usually shared by the two of you, but you expected that he would be too overwhelmed with work to remember to eat, let alone take a break, given everything he has been going through. The two guards outside his office gave you a pitying glance as you got closer, understanding that things were not good. Nevertheless, they let you cross the bridge and into his office. You went in, and the first thing you saw was Wriothesley sitting on the bottom two steps, as if he were waiting for you. You noticed that his tie was unkempt, his jacket was completely abandoned, and his hair had a disheveled tousle that suggested he had either been tugging or running his hands through it for at least a while. That, and it was impossible to ignore the worn-out look in his faded hues.

But as soon as your eyes met, his worn-out expression changed to something strange but familiar—something you had seen on many sultry nights spent by yourself with him in the past. His eyes were fixed on you, freezing you in place with an indisputable lust, a carnal hunger, and a burning desire. Pushing himself up from the steps, he moved toward you with calculated, deliberate steps, each one more heavy than the last, like a beast cornering its prey, his heavy steel boots clinking against the copper floors. Soon, he was towering over you, hands twitching at his sides as though he were refraining from tearing you apart where you stood.

“You look good.” You blurted, swallowing thickly in your throat, as you were cornered against the heavy steel of his office’s door.

He chuckled, throaty and sultry, as his hand met your waist, the other one coming to rest it’s forearm above your head as he caged you between the door and his muscular frame, “Yeah?”

His casual drawl had your knees going weak, threatening to buckle beneath you while his thumb rubbed slow, salacious circles into your hip. “I think I’ve been better.”

You shrugged nonchalantly with an indifferent hum, raising your hands to trail absentminedly over his large chest that bulged through his dress shirt, finally coming to toy with his tie. “Mhm. You missed lunch today, you know.”

“Did I?” His voice was husky—deep, the subtle rumble of his baritone voice going straight to your core causing your thighs to squeeze against one another—an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Wriothesley, who’s palms grew hungry on you, manuvering behind you to grope thick handfuls of your rear shamelessly. “I’ve been so swamped with work that it must’ve slipped my mind. But . . . I’m sure you understand, right, baby?” His arm that was poised above your head lowered, his partially gloved thumb stroking at the supple flesh of your cheek. “Why don’t you let me make it up to you, yeah? . . . I have an idea that will make us both happy.”

You had an idea as to what he was alluding to, but nonetheless, you nodded with a hum of agreement. This made Wriothesley smirk in response, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear so that he may lean in and press a kiss to your temple.

“Turn around.”

His dominant undertone left little room for argument as you did what he asked, turning around so that you were facing the metal door of his office. Without another moment's hesitation, you felt yourself pushed against it, your body pinned against Wriothesley's heated form with your cheek smushed against the cold metal face of the door. His body pressed firmly against yours, and you felt something unmistakable grinding into your ass, all the while his sharp canines drug themselves up your neck, a silent warning to stay put.

And you did.

Hot, sloppy kisses trailed themselves down the back of your neck as greedy palms groped and squeezed at your body wherever they could reach—almost as though they were attempting to alleviate tension with every heated touch. Sensing his descent, you eventually heard him drop to his knees behind you, his gloved hands reaching up to lift your skirt and turn it over to expose your plump, pliant rear. A growl, something animalistic and ravenous, came from the back of his throat, and one of those large palms rose for a split second before slapping your right cheek, making you squeal and making Wriothesley laugh.

“Careful, Y/N.” He chided, using his palms to massage the abused flesh as an imprint of his hand—ringed fingers and all—slowly began to appear on your ass. “This door may be thick, but this chamber echos. You don’t want the guards and—Gods know who else—hearing you on the other side, do you~?”

You felt your face heat up against the frigid door’s surface, now acutely aware of the silence on the other side, which meant his guards were now undoubtedly listening. Nonetheless, you nodded, casting a shy glance over your shoulder to your lover, who was already gazing up at you with half-lidded eyes and that salacious smirk on his face that just made your knees go weak and your folds gush with arousal.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that though,” He stated nonchalantly, leaning over to press a soft kiss against your ass as sinful digits reached up to peel your already soaked panties down your thighs until they pooled at your ankles. Wriothesley groaned inwardly, his pupils blown, as he used his thumbs to spread you apart in all your glory, admiring how your folds glistened in the dim lights of the lower floor of his office. “*I can’t promise that I’ll be going easy on you either, baby.”

Without saying another word, his hands reached out and took firm hold of both your cheeks, spreading them wide before plunging straight into your dripping folds. Immediately, your knees were buckling beneath you as a pleasured mewl escaped your lips, your nails dragging against the metal surface in an attempt to find purchase. With his hands leaving your ass to wrap around the front of your thighs, his tongue was unrelenting as it ruthlessly claimed every inch of your pussy to himself, drawing you closer to him so he could continue to devour you. His tongue was hot, heavy, and drooling as it spread you wide open, encircling your clit, and slurping up whatever delicious goodness you had to offer. His nose pressed deep into your wetness, drowning in your depths, but he did not seem to care in the slightest. He wanted more—craved more—and one thing about Wriothesley was that he was a man who got what he wanted.

His tongue and ravenous lips wrapped around your tender nub and sucked away like a starving man enjoying the sweetest nectar of life, leaving you a moaning mess above him and unable to stop your hips from moving on their own as you practically fucked yourself against his face. You didn’t care if the guards—or anyone else, for that matter—heard you. All you could focus on was how his sweltering and deft mouth had you practically creaming onto his selfish brims already.

“Wrio~!” You keened, nearly losing your footing had it not been for Wriothesley keeping you firmly in place by his grip. “I-I can’t! I-It’s too much!” You whimpered just as another cry drew from your lips from a jolt of pleasure from your nethers.

In response, you felt another sharp spank rain down on your ass, and Wriothesley finally withdrew, but only so that he could snarl out, “You can and you will. Fucking take it, Y/N.” He was breathless, panting—truly, a man starved in his most primal state.

He pulled away momentarily, strings of your arousal clinging to the lower half of his face, which was glistening in your translucent juices, to turn to your inner thighs. His jaw widened before clamping down harshly on your once supple flesh, biting and sucking the blood to it’s surface to leave furious marks in his wake.

“Wriothesley!” You wept with delight and surprise at the lewd action that made your folds rub together, and you were unable to ignore the disgustingly lewd squelching sound that came from your cunt.

He repeated the same action, this time on your ass cheek, taking the pliant flesh between his teeth and delivering yet another primal bite to your soft skin, effectively marking you. “Shit, Y/N.” His heated breath wafted over your clit, making you clench around nothing as he huffed and panted like a mutt against your thigh, an action that your attentive lover obviously noticed. “The things you do to me . . .~”

Without saying anything more, he plunged back into you, even more intense than before. With his deft fingers reaching around your front and rubbing quick, merciless circles onto your clit, he was aiming at his sole target, your sopping hole. Pushing his tongue in and out of your wetness, he slurped every last drop of your sweet juices onto his tongue. He was milking you like a machine—using your clit as the trigger to release more and more of your translucent fluids onto his tongue, which he rapaciously gluped down. All the while, your toes curled in your shoes, and as every one of his hot, heavy pants exhaled through his nose, you were able to feel it against your pretty asshole.

“Wrio, wrio, baby, please! R-Right there, I-I’m gonna . .” Your hasty pleas were cut off, your hand reaching back to tangle itself into your boyfriend’s smokey locks, holding him in place as you basically rode his tongue.

You felt him chuckling against your folds before you heard him, unable to stop the sharp cry that escaped you from the sudden vibration. His hand left your clit, however, it was soon replaced with his mouth in favor of meeting your hand with his own. He pried your death grip from his locks, intertwining his fingers with your own as his head shook back and forth between your thighs. His lips suckled away at you in such an unforgiving way that it made your head spin and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Anyone within the immediate vicinity could definitely hear the unabashed slurping and squleching sounds emanating from his efforts as they reverberated through his office's chambers.

He took your hand in his and massaged calming circles around your knuckles until you finally came undone in front of him, unable to contain your overwhelming euphoria. A series of cries and mewls left your lips, leaving you breathless as your juices came flooding out of you, drenching your lover’s face and attire in a torrent, which he happily gulped down. Had it not been for his grip on your frame, you most definitely would’ve collapsed, but he held you firmly against him, even using his face to support your weight at one point like your own personal seat—because it was. After all, he was yours just as much as you were his, and he’d be damned if anything tried to change that.

His hurried movements subsided during your high, his tongue now languidly stroking your folds to carry you through your blissful daze; still, you could not control your hips from lurching each time he touched your tender, pulsating nub. Before long, he began to back off, giving you some leverage and giving himself space to finally breathe. His hot breath wafted against your behind, his chest rising and falling with each breath, finally being kind enough to himself to give him the sweet, sweet oxygen his lungs had been begging for.

Slowly, he rose from behind you, your half-lidded gaze meeting his own through the tears that formed on your lash line, which he wiped away with a swipe of his thumb.

“Y’still with me, pretty?” He whispered in a honeyed drawl, placing a soft kiss against your shoulder as the hand that was holding your own moved to your bicep to rub soothing circles along your arm.

You nodded, albeit weakly, still recovering from the mind-shattering orgasm he had just put you through.

“Y’feel better now, Wrio?”

He responded with a hearty chuckle, rolling his neck in a tantilizing way that exposed his throbbing Adam’s apple and scarred throat. His gaze met your own again, this time with a familiar spark burning behind his dusky hues, “Ahh, a’litte bit.”

He leaned over you once again, his forearm resting above your head as his chest pressed against your back. You gasped, your hips jolting as you felt his rock-hard bulge pressing against you, just barely managing to graze your sopping folds.

“Still feeling a little ‘tense’ here . . . but you’d be willing to help me out,” He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. Although you couldn’t see him, you could practically feel the smirk beaming from his stupidly handsome face.

“Right, baby?”

Oh, he was going to be the death of you someday.

ⓒ vampiie 2024 — all rights reserved. please do not repost my work outside of tumblr, modify, or translate my work in any form/means. please do not share my work to tiktok or any other site.

[apartmentsmoke]

"Wait, wait, stop," Buck says, and the very pleasant feeling of Tommy's mouth on his neck vanishes.

"You okay?" Tommy's got his Look of Concern plastered on his face. Good thing, because if Buck is right, this is concerning.

"Yeah, it's just - did you hear that?"

Tommy raises his eyebrows. "I heard you moaning."

"Tommy, that's the thing - it wasn't me." The Look of Concern has morphed into the Look of Are-You-Sure-You're-Not-Having-Me-On? It's mostly used whenever Buck regales Tommy with tales of one of the 118's emergencies ("Nothing like that ever happened while I was there, Evan"), but he's seen it in other contexts (explaining the entire Kim situation).

"At this point, I think I know what you sound like in bed." Tommy's mouth is still nicely red. And maybe he's right, it was nothing, and it would be easy to fall back into him. Buck waits a beat, ears perked, but there's nothing - so he does press his lips into Tommy's, Tommy's body relaxing against him.

Tommy rubs his side like Buck's an anxious horse. The hair on Buck's arms slowly flattens, goosebumps leaving his skin. He loses himself in the slide of their kisses, until -

He breaks free of Tommy and looks around wildly, Tommy woah'ing.

"Sweetheart," Tommy says, reaching out again. "Seriously, you okay? Because you're giving Ghost Whisperer."

Buck snaps his fingers at Tommy. "Exactly. My apartment is haunted."

"Evan." The word is a drier desert than Antarctica.

"There was a moan again! And it wasn't me. And when Chimney and Mara and Jee were over here helping set up, they left the balcony door open. It's October. And now there is something living here."

"Last time I checked, Casper wasn't considered alive," Tommy says, and the look on his face tells Buck everything: he really is a skeptic. Falling asleep during Buck's thoughts on Area 51 wasn't just because he found Buck's voice soothing.

When Buck reaches for his phone on the bedside table, a chill runs down his arm and into his spine. "Okay." He's got Google, a helpful army of friends, and the ability to buy anything he needs. That ghost is history. "So first, we need to get -"

He's stopped by Tommy's hand on his wrist. "Baby, do we really need to figure out your ghost thing right now?"

"Do you want to fuck in front of a ghost, Thomas?"

"Is he a hot ghost?" Tommy waggles his eyebrows, then sighs. "Look, I get that this is important to you, but I was away for three weeks for that training camp and I missed you. Can we send The Flying Dutchman back to sea in a couple days? My place has a big bed and a distinct lack of the supernatural."

As they're closing the door to Buck's loft, another faint moan emanates from the air.

"It's the pipes," Tommy says, linking his arm into Buck's to guide them to his car.

(They find out three days later Tommy is technically correct when maintenance pulls a dead raccoon out of the walls of Buck's loft.

"Huh," Tommy says, frowning at his phone. "They really do make that noise."

"And they stink." Buck wrinkles his nose. "Your bed still open?"

By the time the landlord's finished the repairs, Buck's stuff, cleared out for the construction, is scattered over Tommy's house.

"It'd be a pain to pack it all up again," Tommy says. "Keep it here."

"You just want easy access to my hoodies," Buck accuses, feeling Tommy's laughter from underneath the fabric of the stolen blue hoodie he's wearing.

Two hours later, hoodie abandoned to the floor, Buck officially moves in.)

[thanks to @stardustbuck (Buck thinks he's haunted) and @theweewooshow (balcony raccoon) for the inspo 🫶]

[cntloup]

RetiredHusband!Simon x Wife!Reader HCs

18+ MDNI fluff, nsfw, pregnancy

After he retires, he'd settle at home. He does most of the housework when you're at work, but you love the times you spend with him doing mundane stuff, and you'd feel bad if you left all that work to him, so you have a laundry day when you both work together, but it almost always ends with you on the washing machine and him between your legs. Or your elbows on the washing machine and him behind you. 

He's a great cook. He makes some simple but exquisite dishes. In the military, he had to tolerate the bland MREs (idk how they taste but they look awful), so when he was back home, he'd learn to make some tasty meals for himself when he was living alone. And then for you when you came into his life. Your mouth starts to water at the delightful smell the moment you walk into the house. If you mention that you've been gaining some weight because of his delicious food, he'd honestly love it. He'd constantly touch the plush of your hips and belly, lightly squishing them with his hands while kissing you. He's happy that you like his food and you're well-fed and healthy.

Maintenance and repairs. He's excellent with his hands and understanding how things work, so the moment you notice something needs fixing, he’s on it. Most of the time you don’t even notice it cause he’s already done it when you were gone. He wouldn’t let it bother you even a second. If you ever find him working under the sink or in the garage working on his car, you’re in for a show. The way his muscles flex while working with a wrench, or when he manhandles a heavy object, his dirty greasy hands, sweat dripping down his forehead and his shirt sticking to his body, his pecs and abs visible to your hungry eyes, get you drooling and squeezing your thighs together. He gets super cocky if he notices (he always does), even more than usual. 

He makes sure to always have some fresh flowers on display in the living room and your favorites on your vanity table. Sometimes he stands by the door with a flower behind his back to give it to you when you walk in. He even learns how to make flower crowns and how to braid hair with flowers from youtube videos. After a few hours of grunting and groaning in frustration when he messes up, he finally masters the art. Only for his lovely wife.

At the end of the day, if you're both in the mood and not too tired, he makes love to you while holding your hand, your wedding ring glinting in the moonlight, a pillow placed under your hips so you'd feel more comfortable and he'd be able to hit that sweet spot inside you that makes those beautiful moans which he adores tumble through your lips. He praises you throughout the whole session, soft I love you's falling from his lips and calls you "my wife" and "Mrs. Riley" while slowly rolling his hips into yours.

He always cums inside. You love the feel of his thick warm cum inside your womb, and the thought of carrying his child makes you go absolutely feral. He'd love to have a family with you, the image of your belly swollen with his child stuck in his mind as his thrusts get harsher and more erratic, grunting out how he's gonna breed you. Your pussy flutters and tightly clenches down on him as the words leave his mouth.

After you announce your pregnancy, he’s glued to your side. And more handsy. He's always got a hand on the small of your back, your belly, randomly kissing your temple and forehead. He's just so happy to have you. And now you’re having a child?! He's over the moon! He's always by your side when you need him, rubbing your back and holding your hair out of the way when morning sickness kicks in, holding you in his arms when you cry, reassuring you and softly cooing praises into your ear if you’re nervous about giving birth and being a good parent. 

If you still go to work while pregnant, he’s got everything ready for you at home. All the housework is done, your favorite food is ready on the table, bath is also ready with your favorite oils and bath salts. You won’t lift a finger at home. Not on his watch. When you walk through the door, exhausted and body aching, he’s there to carry you to bed for a massage. He'll rub the sore muscles of your feet and gently massage your swollen tummy. If he feels a kick, he’ll grin so wide and rub your belly to feel it again, but he stops if you wince in pain, mumbling “sorry” and kissing you so sweetly. He'll give you a bath, delicately washing your tired body, his hand resting on your belly and placing soft kisses on your lips in between your rants about work and what a tough day you had. He watches you with so much love and adoration evident in his gorgeous eyes while you talk, admiring you. He's just so happy to have a little family of his own :) 

comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥ 

divider by @saradika-graphics