#Side note: There is a TikTok account from a lesbian couple and one of those ladies has only dated men before

[lavenderprose]

I don't think my Rook is a virgin or even particularly inexperienced; they're like thirty and the Mourn Watch seems to know how to fuckin party if the Hezenkoss plotline is any indication. However there's something that resonates with me about Emmrich being their first for OTHER things like:

- First time being brought breakfast in bed (Rook cries. Emmrich panics. Darling, it's JUST oatmeal!)

- First time actually taking a midnight stroll while holding hands? Rook thought that was just. Romance serial behavior. People don't actually DO that. Then they're in Treviso very late one night and making their way back to the Diamond and Emmrich pulls them close while walking along the canal, wraps their hand in his (Big. Warm. Long fingers) and kisses the back of their palm and just? Doesn't let go? For the rest of their walk?

- First time being apologized to in an argument? Rook is very used to people who are opinionated and knowledgeable--the Mourn Watch is basically a university meets a corporation meets a seminary (In the WORST kind of way, at times) so you're constantly meeting people who are singularly convinced of their own expertise. Rook, themself, can be pretty opinionated. The first time Rook disagrees with Emmrich on something and it gets a little heated, they figure they'll go cool off for a little bit and then go tell Emmrich how Special He Is just to put the argument past them, because that's what worked in the past, with other situationships. To their surprise, Emmrich finds them fifteen minutes later and sits down on the floor with them, huge old text book on his crisscrossed legs, and says, "Darling, I can't apologize enough. I looked it up and actually, you were correct--" Rook takes the textbook out of his lap and replaces it with themself.

- Most importantly, Emmrich is the first partner to make Rook feel like they can truly just...unmask. Be themself, and that not only will Emmrich tolerate that but ENJOY that. Emmrich enchants an orb to play the echoes and creaks of the Necropolis at night so that Rook can sleep better in the silent Fade; he spends an hour gently rubbing Rook's head after they snap at him one night because he realizes they're having a migraine. He's also, like, y'know, very very good in bed and seems to be genuinely horny for a lot of this stuff. Like, caring for Rook seems to genuinely DO IT for him y'know?

Rook tells him, "I've never had anyone love me the way you do," and Emmrich just tilts his head and smiles at them in that sweet, beautiful way of his.

"Darling," he says, "As the man who loves you, I can with confidence say that the others were doing it wrong. This is how you deserve to be loved, and shall be, so long as I breathe air--and perhaps long afterward as well."

Rook starts crying. Again.

[izzytown]

so found this gem in my phone notes from over a year ago and wanted to share—

may i present to you: into the woods but make it gen z tiktok stereotypes

The Witch:

- is a stereotype TikTok witch, but she also dances on occasion.

- *doing the renegade* your family tree *continues doing the renegade* will always be a barren one *hits the woah*

Baker and Baker’s Wife:

- are a lesbian couple

- the baker is a masc lesbian who bakes sourdough bread and lives for the goblincore aesthetic

- the baker’s wife is a more fem lesbian who wears that strawberry dress and is fully cottagecore

Little Red:

- a 12 year old cosplayer living her best life

- the lesbian couple have internet adopted her

- the wolf is simply a furry. nothing else to elaborate on here.

Cinderella:

- cindy is a life hack TikToker (think 5 minute craft style videos, except for sewing and cleaning)

- her mom and step-sisters run a family account where they do singing and dancing challenges and pretend that they’re functional (spoiler alert: they’re not)

Rapunzel:

- a pick-me girl with a strict mom

- she mostly complains about all the rules she has and all her life hacks to sneak out, etc.

- occasionally does singing tiktoks bc it’s her brand babes

Jack:

- does cringy middle school dance videos. occasionally posts about milky white. enough said.

Cinderella’s Prince:

- stereotype “straight side of tiktok”

- does workout videos and mirror/dancing thirst traps with those cringey transitions

Rapunzel’s Prince:

- is a pick-me boy (bc we all ship pick-me boys + pick-me girls here)

- ends up with rapunzel and goes to “save” her from her “toxic” mom, lmaoo

- does the charitable TikToks where he gives money to strangers to show he’s just not like other princes

anyway hope this post ruined your day🤙