#Should ask Cellbit.

[spawnradio]

don't really have a name. don't really need one. when you think of me, just think of... let's say that explosion emoji. also they/them's fine.

but enough about me, what about you? howd you even get a signal from somewhere like that?

-💥

Oh, it took some elbow grease alright-- there's some sort of... firewall? Signal jammer? Doesn't matter what the name is, point is: some stuff's not getting through, and some stuff is. It's a weird departure from the main format, but I can adjust.

[dripgnoll]

cellbit

[miscellaneoussmp]

YOOO SPILL WHO THE ARCHIVAL TEAM IS MARKED BY!!! Making biiig eyes at you /silly

OKAY!!! HII WARREN!!!

Cellbit: marked by The Slaughter and The Hunt, eventual Eye avatar as The Archivist.

Bagi: marked by and victim of The Lonely, marked by The Eye and The Hunt. Possible Hunter?

Pac: marked and victim of The Vast and victim of The Slaughter. Half of a manifestation of The Spiral.

Mike: marked and victim of The Vast. Other half of a manifestion of The Spiral.

Felps: marked by The End, The Buried, and The Flesh. Victim of The Slaughter. Possible avatar for any of those he is marked by.

Baghera: victim and marked by The Flesh and The Corruption. Possible avatar for either.

Jaiden: marked by The Stranger and The Web. Possible avatar for The Stanger.

Roier: marked by The Stranger. Avatar of The Web.

[royalarchivist]

Roier: Gatiño! (Kitten!)

Cellbit: Hey Guapito. (Handsome)

Roier: Hey hey hey, como estas? (How's it going?)

Cellbit: Uhhh. Going. How are you? You feeling better?

Roier: Fine! Fine. Uh, well, un poco triste, un poco sad. Un poco sad, triste. (A little sad)

Cellbit: Me too.

Roier: Tu tambien? Que tienes? (You too? What happened?)

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

----

Maximus: Cellbit, I need to talk with you! It's very important!

Cellbit: Yeah?

Maximus: I don't know what you're doing with that in your face, or something, but it's-

Roier: [Interrupting Maximus with a cheerful] Gatiño! (Kitten!)

Cellbit: Hey Guapito. (Handsome)

Roier: Hey hey hey, como estas? (How's it going?)

Cellbit: Uhhh. Going. How are you? You feeling better?

Roier: Fine! Fine. Uh, well, un poco triste, un poco sad. Un poco sad, triste. (A little sad)

Cellbit: Me too.

Roier: Tu tambien? Que tienes? (You too? What happened?)

Cellbit: Uhh something’s happened, but there’s nothing involving you, so you don’t need to worry. I just need some time alone, I think.

Roier: Oh ok, ok. What- what is that, man?

Cellbit: I just need some time alone, I think.

Roier: Oh, ok ok, no worries my friend, no worries. Me too, me too.

Cellbit: Yeah. I know how-

Maximus: Cellbit, are you ignoring me?!

Cellbit: [Looks between Roier and Maximus a few times] What do you want, Max? Why’d you lie to me?

Maximus: [Sighs] Ok, ok, I need to talk to you in private. I need to talk with you in private.

Cellbit: Yeah?

Maximus: Yeah. Can you?

Cellbit: [Looks between Roier and Maximus again] I think Roier can listen, I trust him.

Roier: Ok

Maximus: You trust him?

Cellbit: Yeah.

[ghostiezone]

IT IS NOW OFFICIALLY HALLOWEEN which means i can now trick or treat in ur inbox :3 i wanted 2 wait until halloween so TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

TREAT!!!!!!!! rejoice, davekat be upon ye!!!!!!! is it obvious i have not drawn them in years.

[youphoriaot7]

About the au, maybe start with Richas?

Something has been Happening in the old abandoned experimental lab on the dirty outskirts of the city. Chume Labs, as it was once known, was run by two scientists: a bit crazy, a bit kooky, but they mostly kept to themselves and so no one bothered them.

This is the backdrop of Cellbit's current case: a kid. A possessed kid, to be more specific. Reports of a child running along the streets of the nearby neighborhood late at night keep cropping up, and the police are starting to panic. No one's ever seen this child in daylight or close-up enough to see if they can tell who it is. They just hear the skipping steps, the giggling, and then perhaps catch a glimpse of a dirty yellow shirt speeding around a far-off corner. Sometimes, there's red stains left where they say they've heard him, and no one is quite sure whether it's paint or blood.

The reports start out around the neighborhood, closer to the residential area than the lab itself. Just a handful, not anything to really be concerned about–people just sort of assume it's one of the close houses' kids that isn't being looked after properly...but no one really does anything about it. But then they get one or two reports that mention him heading in the direction of the lab. Of course, Cellbit wants to see things with his own eyes, so...cue stakeout night.

Roier insists on helping once he's heard the story, because it's a kid and he'll be damned if he lets the same thing that happened to Bobby happen again. (Humans can't be trusted with their children, obviously, and he won't let it happen again.)

[smallchaoscryptid]

Roier and Cellbit after Cellbit gets turned into an android in my android au, have such an intresting push and pull of Roier trying to give Cellbit space after he has been uploaded and Cellbit trying to figure out what happened that he is forgetting because Roier doesn't seem to be acting how Cellbit feels he should. Cellbit also has the I want to kiss this fool but I have to figure out what is up first mindset.

[lowkeyrobin]

hi pookie can I get an mcyt with reader that bakes?? Like they'll just come in on stream and give mcyts a fucking platter of baked goods lol

-🎀 anon

oooo yes omg!! thank you 🎀 anon! <3 got the whole gang in here for this one LOL

MCYT ; "in my baker era"

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, foolish gamers, slimecicle, & cellbit

warnings ; language, mentions of drugs

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

"Hi y/n- oh, thank you, darling!'

literally has the widest smile on his face

shows off the goods to the stream

"do these have any drugs in them? me n charlie are trying to sell drugs, y/n. we need more stock"

you hear charlie screaming through tommys headphones, "we need the grain, y/n! we need THE GRAIN"

bro is munching away on those cookies holy shit

he feeds chat as well dw

RANBOO

"Hey babe! Oh, thank you!"

does a whole 360 of the plate for chat 💀💀💀💀

"Oh my God, these are so fucking good"

"guys, y/ns in their baking era. can you write an album about that? please become Taylor swift for us"

"BAHHAHAHAH"

literally takes a picture as per usual and posts it to Twitter LMAO

he gets some fans to send you recipes you should try for a serious baking stream LMAO

BADLINU

"Hey love- oh, hi!"

all smiles and shit, he swears you have a sixth sense to know when people are hungry

"guys, y/n made me some bisexuality cake!" He giggles, showing off the tri-colored cake on the plate

he was making a video with harry, tubbo & tommy so everyone had their facecams on

it was like a three tier cake you made and cut out a slice for him

the inside was just the bi flag and the outside was plain white with some fun icing piper testing

he tries it and it's SO MOIST AND SOFT IT IS PERFECT.

there's just 5 raw minutes of him telling you how amazing this fucking cake is LMAO

QUACKITY

"Hey, I'm streaming ba- ohmyfuckinggodthankyou!!"

does a 360 of the plate for the camera

"Holy shit these look so fucking good, thank you so much, y/n"

he's literally just streaming on the qsmp with roeir and fit and he like games and eats the damn cookies at the same time LMFAO

"Dude I feel like I'm high, these are so good, what's in this shit?"

"cocaine"

"WHAT!? DID YOU JUST DRUG ME? GUYS, MY PARTNER DRUGGED ME, HELP"

you're just playing into the bit dw

best red velvet cookies he's ever eaten

CELLBIT

"Hey darling, what's up?"

you hand him the little strawberry shortcake and he just looks at you like 😍😍

turns to his stream and shoves the plate up to the camera all happy like "Oh my God look what they made for me!"

he eats the entirety of it on stream and asks you a bunch of questions

like how you made it, where you found the recipe, etc

he shares it with you too 💔🫶

NIHACHU

"Hi honey! Ooo, what's this called?"

"Chocolate mousse. it's a little thick because it's my first time making it but let me know if it's good"

she holds that little glass like it's her child

she tries it with a tiny spoon you gave her and she's like "oh my God this is amazing, y/n/n"

shows it off to the friends she's streaming with too

"send them more recipes guys, I wanna be spoiled with sweets!"

"thank you nikis viewers!! love you all"

FOOLISH GAMERS

when I tell you this man's face LIGHTS UP.

"you made me fudge? oh my God! I love you"

literally spends the next 15 minutes talking to you and gobbling the fudge down

"since when do you make fudge??"

"since I wanted to try" you shrug

"you should totally make some more... when you're not busy and if you want to!"

"Thank you y/n! everyone say thank you!"

SLIMECICLE

"Oh, hi y/n! thank you so much"

does a 360 for stream

"when did you find time to make this? I thought you were at work????"

"special treat" you shrug

you watch him run across the qsmp and go to ems bakery to sit inside and eat it 😭

he keeps you on stream for a while cause chat loves you n stuff 🫶🫶

[thesmpisonfire]

Hey lads!

So, it's amazing waking up and seeing so many supportive posts towards the Brazilians of the community and also towards Cellbit. It rlly makes me feel safe here and reassures I choose the right community to be active on (qsmpblr <3)

But I need y'all to know that the reason the xenophobia against brazilian fans and cellbits doc are connected is bc a bunch of brazilians managed to gather screenshots of people (both from the english and the hispanic side of the community) being xenophobic and racist towards us and we made a big thread with them to showcase we were not crazy and overreacting. And so, the same people that were xenophobic decided to bring up AGAIN the whole deal with Cellbit's ex as a smoke bomb and to diverge attention from their shit and to "justify" it, bringing up brazilians from other spheres outside qsmptwt that hate on Cellbit for the fun and made it bigger than it should

And bc of that, she saw it and made that terrible fake accusation, leading to the document

Also. Please don't feel pressured and forced to make a post showing your support to both Cellbit and the brazilians. If you want to, okay! Thanks for doing it! But if you don't, it's okay. It's a tough topic. And most of us are here because we don't want the twitter stress and some don't even have twitter to know. Not everyone campers the tag to be always up with the news

I'd just say that if you wanna show your support but feel too shy to make a post or anxious and now is feeling worse, send a dm or an anon ask to a fellow brazilian blogger. I can guarantee, it's enough and we feel really good with it too

And also. People. Don't fucking go around shaming others for not speaking up about the whole mess. Don't go "your silence speaks volumes" ESPECIALLY since you didn't scroll far enough to see we weren't silent. Yesterday we talked about it, we spread Cellbit's doc link, we made posts about the xenophobia. But the qsmpblr community don't want to stir and simmer in the drama so long. We want peace and feel comfortable here. I can assure you, private communities from bloggers on discord keep talking about it, but most of us want to go back to normal posting so people go back to feel safe and not triggered about such a heavy topic

Don't. Fucking. Shame. People. For. Not. Posting. About. It.

This is not twitter. When someone is a dick, you WILL know, and it wont be bc they didn't talk about smth that twitter made into a bigger drama than it should be

Anyway, stay safe y'all. Thanks for the supportive messages towards the brazilians <3

[anonymous-dentist]

Bleeding Heart Part One

Or: Somebody is attacking members of the Federation of Heroes, and Cellbit is, for once, not the killer

(TW: Blood, Self Harm [by technicality])

----

Cellbit first hears about the attacks from Bagi while they're getting lunch together for the first time in almost a month.

"I've just been so busy," she sighs. She looks about one insult away from slamming Cellbit's face into the table, and she looks about one wet piece of lettuce away from slamming her own face into her salad.

Cellbit hums in response. He's been busy, too. Not with police work, but photo editing is fucking hard, okay? Especially when your apartment is a fucking war zone thanks to yet another patented Richarlyson Temper Tantrum.

Only a little annoyed, Cellbit pokes at his barbecue hard enough with his fork to scrape it against the plate.

Bagi scowls and kicks Cellbit underneath the table.

Cellbit kicks Bagi back, with purpose.

"Fuck you!" she snaps, stomping down hard on his foot.

Cellbit responds by snatching her glass of water from next to her plate and turning it over above her salad.

"What?" Cellbit casually asks as Bagi starts visibly shaking with rage. "At least I'm not stabbing you this time."

"You-" Bagi cuts herself off with a frustrated groan.

She reaches across the table and steals his plate; he lets her, the meat is a bit too well-done for his tastes.

Cellbit leans back in his seat and watches her stab into the barbecue with the rage of a goddamn beast.

"Aren't you vegan?" he asks her.

"Fuck you," she tensely responds. "I don't have the patience for this today. Between you and those fucking- the Federation, I'm going to lose it."

Cellbit tenses at the mention of the Federation- the Federation of Heroes: Q City's defense against supervillains and petty criminals alike, the unofficial backer of the city's educational system and the police force and the courts, and Cellbit's unrequited worst enemy.

His nose wrinkles in distaste. "What do they want?"

"What don't they want?" Bagi sighs. "I don't see why they need us to solve this if they're in charge of literally every superhero in the city. It's just a couple of assault cases, that's it."

...Ah.

Casually- oh, so casually, Cellbit rolls his eyes and cracks a grin.

"What, is someone going around and beating up Federation guys again?" he asks. "I thought Enigma was dead."

Bagi nods, annoyance written all across her face in big red letters. "He is, I was there when he died! But freaking Foolish-"

"Oh, God, Foolish is on this case?"

"The Federation requested him specifically, but he's like-" (She screws her voice up into something approximating her coworker's.) "'Oh, no, Bagi! It's the dead guy assaulting all these Federation guys!' Like? Enigma is dead, how the hell is he still getting assault charges?"

Cellbit shrugs. "You know how Foolish is. He's probably still pissed about never actually getting to figure out Enigma's secret identity. He's just salty."

"Yeah, well. Whatever."

"Whatever," Cellbit echoes.

Bagi, somehow, looks much closer to death. She looks tired, but that's just what happens when you're stuck dealing with Cucurucho for an extended period of time; Cellbit swears he only gets sleep when Cucurucho is out of the city on official Federation business.

Now, Cellbit should probably be grilling his sister for more information. Any enemy of the Federation of Heroes is a friend of his, and he's got some contacts that he might want to hook this mystery person up with.

But.

Smile softening just slightly, Cellbit asks, "How has Empanada been? Is she doing better at this new school?"

Bagi's entire being brightens up, and she starts talking about her daughter's first day at her new school and how Empanada had the best time and how the school is actually accommodating for her disabilities and how... Well, Cellbit stops listening after a couple of minutes while he starts thinking about his own child.

Oh, Richarlyson.

He's so grounded.

-

But, funnily enough, it's while he's walking Richarlyson to school a week later that Cellbit finds the first official murder victim of Bagi's mystery assaulter.

"Oh," says Cellbit, looking down at the corpse lounging in front of his apartment building surrounded by its own brains and blood.

He blocks Richarlyson from following him out the door, much to Richarlyson's annoyance.

"What is it?" Richarlyson asks, squirming and trying to slip under Cellbit's arm. "I wanna see!"

"I think your other dads would kill me," Cellbit replies. He glances over his shoulder and down. "Can you go get my camera for me? I'll let you carry it to school."

Eyes widening excitedly, Richarlyson turns on his heel and bolts up the stairs.

As soon as he's gone, Cellbit looks back at the corpse.

It isn't a particularly good corpse. It's... messy. Too many wounds, too random. Skull fracture and cave-in seems accidental based off the location of the fracture and the location of the body; the killer probably smashed the victim's head against the building's railing and killed them just like that.

It's early in the morning. Early enough that Cellbit's street is basically empty; the Favela isn't really ever quiet, but people are smart enough to stay off the streets from sundown until sun-up. And the Federation of Heroes isn't dumb enough to try putting cameras up in a place like the Favela; it'd be a waste of money with how many times they'd have to replace them all.

So nobody is there to watch as Cellbit crouches next to the corpse and sticks a finger in the puddle of blood.

(Water holds memories, and blood is ninety-two percent water, so...)

The blood ripples like a lake after a stone was tossed into it, waves moving from Cellbit's finger outwards.

And then-

"Pai! I got it!"

Cellbit swiftly stands and turns and hides his hand in his coat pocket and smiles a thanks at Richarlyson. Damnit.

"Did you remember to lock the door behind you?" Cellbit asks.

He tries to block the view of the corpse again, but Richarlyson just barely manages to squeeze past him and out the door.

Cellbit sighs, "Don't tell your Pai Pac I let you see this. He'll kill me."

Richarlyson stares down at the body, frozen in shock.

Well. At least he isn't screaming?

Cellbit slings his camera bag over his shoulder and pulls his camera out. He's got work to do.

"Why do their brains look like that?" Richarlyson asks, nose wrinkled. "Gross."

"Brains don't look like they do in the movies," Cellbit explains, moving past Richarlyson and turning his camera on. He points it at the corpse's face, and he clicks the button. "They're a lot more... gooey. Not as solid as you'd think. It's mostly just the skull keeping them together."

"Really?"

"No, this is just kind of fucked up."

Richarlyson sits on the steps, arms crossed across his knees. He watches Cellbit work, not as disturbed as Cellbit thought he'd be. But, well, he is Richarlyson. He's seen worse than loose brains and a bit of blood. This is nothing.

"I think I know them," Richarlyson says after a bit.

Cellbit glaces up at him, camera focused on the bloody railing.

Richarlyson thinks some more, and then he nods. "Yeah, okay, so I don't know them, but I know their face! They were on the news last week! Super Hamster!"

Super... oh, right. Super Hamster, one of the Federation's newest recruits. Super low-ranked hero who spends their patrols getting cats out of trees and doing battle with a similarly low-ranked villain named Mongoose Man. Kind of stupid, but in a dumb college student way. Weird interviews. Weirder costume.

Cellbit lowers his camera and looks the corpse in the face. Super Hamster wore a mask over their eyes, but the cheeks and chin look the same...

Oh. Oh no.

God. Damnit.

-

Okay, so.

So.

Once upon a time, there was a supervillain named Enigma. He was a bit of a serial killer, but he only attacked and killed those affiliated with the Federation of Heroes: office workers, doctors, weapons suppliers. Heroes.

He did this for years. He founded the Order of Villains alongside fellow villains: the Demon and Crow Man. He killed dozens upon dozens of people, took down seemingly-endless numbers of rookie and professional heroes alike, made himself a reputation as the worst villain Q City had ever known.

And then he died.

There was an explosion during a chase he and the Federation's Sharkboy were involved in. Sharkboy was sent into early civilian retirement. Enigma was sent to his grave.

But.

Cellbit slinks his way down the alley with his camera bag slung over his shoulder. He's wearing sunglasses and a black surgical mask leftover from the last time Richarlyson was sick, and his hair is mostly hidden under a borrowed baseball cap.

Recently, according to both Bagi and the evening news, people seem to think that Enigma has done the impossible and risen from the grave. Somehow.

The thing is, the new guy doesn't kill the same way that Enigma did. Enigma used weapons the color of fresh blood. All reports from surviving victims of "Enigma" mention someone with a black sword and-slash-or a steel baseball bat.

Honestly? Cellbit wishes this new killer all the luck in the world. Going up against the Federation is risky business; that's why Cellbit retired in the first place: his family was at risk.

But, really, Cellbit can't have the rumors about Enigma's return continue to go around. They're making everyone pay too much attention to everyone else, and Cellbit really doesn't like getting stared at.

He really, really doesn't like getting stared at by Pac of all people.

So. For Pac's sake, and for Pac's sake only, Cellbit is on the prowl tonight. He's been studying up on the assault cases that Bagi has been investigating, and he's determined that nearly all of the assaults happened within a three-block circumference of the Federation's main building downtown. The outlier so far is Super Hamster, who was apparently Cellbit's upstairs neighbor before their death.

So. Downtown.

Cellbit doesn't have much on him. He has his phone and wallet, and he has a pocketknife and a pocket first aid kit. He's wearing gloves to hide his fingerprints, and because he knows better than to make skin-to-skin contact with an unknown super. (Because the new guy is a super, Cellbit can just tell; who else would have the balls to fight other supers hand-to-hand?)

And, of course, he has his camera. He needs to get proof for Pac, and then he'll get Pac to deliver the pictures to the right people.

Enigma might be dead, but "Enigma" would fit right in with the Order of Villains.

Cellbit steps out of the alley and looks up at the imposing Federation building rising above the buildings around him. It's big and white and glowing and shaped like the letter 'F' and it's fucking ugly, but it's also absolutely terrifying.

("Dispose of him.")

A helicopter lands on the Federation building's roof. Cellbit hopes it fucking crashes after takeoff.

With a sigh, Cellbit turns on his heel and starts down the street towards the building. He looks suspicious as hell, but he also has his P.I.'s license in his wallet if he needs to pull it out.

(He may not be an investigator anymore, but the license doesn't expire for another couple of years. Thanks, Federation!)

There's an itch on the back of Cellbit's neck. A mosquito, probably; it's summer, unfortunately.

Cellbit raises his hand to swat the bug away.

He blinks, and there's a figure in front of him standing beneath a streetlight in all black: hoodie, cargo shorts, what are probably athletic leggings beneath them, gas mask, and- for some reason- a medieval-style cloak with the hood pulled up.

Their hand rests on a sword hung on their side.

Cellbit doesn't so much as blink. Interesting outfit; the gas mask is a nice touch. Probably hiding a voice modulator inside it.

The sword almost seems to sing with all the blood coating it. Fresh blood, still dripping.

Slowly, Cellbit lowers his hand.

"Hey," he lamely says. "Nice cloak."

The killer's head slowly tilts to one side.

A deep, gravelly, very artificial-sounding voice drawls out, "You are not one of theirs."

Oh, so the killer is a nerd. That's cool. They'll fit in great with the Order.

Cellbit shakes his head. "No. I'm not. I'm on your side, actually. I'm just-"

The killer laughs, long and drawn out and painful sounding.

They shake their head slowly. "Don't fuck with me. No one is on my side."

Oh, so the killer is a depressed nerd. Who has obviously read a few too many comic books with how they're talking.

"No," Cellbit quickly says, "but I am. I hate those guys!"

The killer is silent. Still.

Cellbit watches them just stand there.

Swallowing a lump of anticipation in his throat, Cellbit continues:

"The Federation sucks. Everyone who works for it, or with it, deserves to die. I agree with you! But you-"

He cuts himself off with a gasp of pain as the killer vanishes in front of him and as a sharp blade stings along his ribcage from behind.

"Shit!" the killer snaps, voice modulator staticking in panic.

Cellbit staggers forward and throws himself onto the ground, careful not to crush his camera back. His sunglasses come flying off, but fuck them, he stole them, anyway.

His hand flies to his side, and it comes away bloody.

He grins. Perfect.

The killer lunges at him with his sword, aiming right for Cellbit's chest, but-

Cellbit raises his hand to catch the sword, hissing as the blade sinks into the palm of his hand. It cuts right through his glove like it was made of butter, but fuck the gloves, he stole them, anyway.

The killer freezes, confused as Cellbit drags his hand up the length of the blade. His blood drips down onto his hoodie, staining it dark.

"I told you," Cellbit growls, clenching his hand down and grinning. "I'm on your side."

And then Cellbit jerks his hand back and rolls to the side, narrowly dodging a stab to the chest. He raises his hand just in time for the blood running down his arm to ripple and start running backwards.

The killer must catch the movement, because they swing their sword towards Cellbit's wrist. Smart thought, but too late.

Steel clashes against iron with sparks and nausea as the killer's blade meets Cellbit's own.

Vaguely, Cellbit can see the killer's eyes widen through the goggles of their mask.

Cellbit swallows down a fever as he pulls the blood off of his hoodie and forms it into a tiny buckler shield. (If this other guy wants to go medieval, so will Cellbit.)

And then he pushes upwards with his blood sword with all his strength, forcing the killer to take a step backwards to keep themselves from falling on their ass.

"The cameras in this part of the city don't work," Cellbit breathes, pushing himself to his feet and desperately trying not to collapse under the weight of his own being. "You know this, but how? Only the Federation knows. They planned it this way. Job security."

"How do you know, culero?" the killer snaps.

They spin their sword once, look Cellbit over, and freeze.

Cellbit frowns. Just like before...

But then what happened before was-

Eyes widening in realization, Cellbit ducks to the side, just barely getting grazed by a sword skimming across the back of his neck.

The killer groans and tries again, this time catching the meat of Cellbit's bicep.

Cellbit groans, but he forces his blood to push the sword out of his body. It does so with a little protest, too weak to do much, but it manages.

"Enigma," the killer breathes. "You're supposed to be dead, man!"

"I am," Cellbit lowly says.

He hunches over slightly, more than a little out of practice. He holds his shield in front of himself, his sword quivering and at the ready.

"This is great!" the killer excitedly says. "Now that I know it's you..."

They lower their sword and sheathe it, practically bouncing on their toes. Their eyes glitter behind their mask, but they betray nothing.

"...we can team up!" they finish.

They reach a hand out.

Cellbit steps back warily. He holds his sword level with the killer's throat; it drips onto the sidewalk, blood splattering everywhere.

"I'm dead," Cellbit snaps. "You weren't supposed to even see me tonight! I just- oh, fuck."

He groans as a wave of heat washes over him. Pre-faint symptoms, he's close. He used to be better at this, fuck.

He staggers, both his sword and shield splashing onto the ground as he loses his hold over their forms. He braces himself against a streetlight, the same one he first saw the killer under, and he tries not to vomit.

The killer rushes towards him, gloved hands hesitating awkwardly next to his shoulders.

"You okay?" the killer asks. Even through their modulator, they sound concerned. Okay.

"I'm fine," Cellbit wheezes. He waves them off with a glare. "You just- I need proof. That it isn't me this time."

The killer stops breathing. They stop breathing for a long time.

And then they're next to Cellbit rather than in front of him holding his camera.

Cellbit's eyes widen. "Hey, no! Put that back!"

"Relax," the killer says, smile evident in their voice. "I'm getting you proof."

Cellbit's head spins. He hears the camera snap, and then he's on the ground. Oooohh, he's out of practice. (But isn't that a good thing?)

Another camera snap, and he's dry heaving. He hasn't eaten enough to be able to actually throw up anything, but his body sure wants him to try.

"Shit, hold on!" the killer exclaims, and then Cellbit knows nothing.

-

He wakes up to the familiar sound of the beeping of a heart monitor. There's a familiar alien sensation in his arm- I.V. drip, okay.

Okay, he's at the hospital.

Eyes flickering open, Cellbit lets out a sigh. Bagi is going to hate this.

"Fuck," he sighs, staring up at the ceiling.

Once upon a time, Enigma was the most feared villain in the city. But then he got a son, and he found his long-lost twin sister, and he realized that dying either from blood loss or from Federation execution wasn't the ending he wanted anymore. He wanted to live, and so Enigma had to die.

Cellbit hasn't passed out from blood loss since he was just starting out as a villain. It's been almost a decade since then, and he's definitely lost his touch. But that's for the better, really. He doesn't need to use his powers for that kind of stuff anymore. He can heal his son's wounds. He can read the lives of the deceased.

...Or, he would if he could.

He's startled out of his thoughts as someone comes into his room with an armload of vending machine snacks.

"Oh!" the new person exclaims, eyes widening. "You're alive!"

Cellbit doesn't know this person, but he thinks that he wants to.

"Who are you?" Cellbit croaks. "What happened?"

He was with the killer... and then he passed out... and...

"Oh, yeah, so I was walking home from work, and I found you all bloody and passed out on the sidewalk," the man explains.

He sits in the chair by Cellbit's bed, and then he dumps his snacks on the bed and lets out a sigh.

"I'm glad you're okay," he continues. "I was seriously worried."

Cellbit blinks. He's tired, God.

"My camera?" he asks.

"Over there," the man replies. He points towards the other side of the room with his head. "That Hombre Misterioso left it behind when he saw me there."

Cellbit frowns. "Hombre...?"

"Hombre Misterioso. The guy killing all those Federation workers? Apparently, he took a bunch of pictures of himself and managed to send them to the police. That's what they're calling him."

Cellbit's brain ticks away. "Doesn't that just mean 'mysterious guy' in Spanish?"

"Ay, you know Spanish?" The man grins. "That's cool!"

"I'm Brazilian," Cellbit murmurs, not really answering.

He gives the man an appraising look: brown hair, soft looking; dark eyes, glittering; red t-shirt, form-fitting; blue bandana, goofy. Biceps.

The man catches his gaze and winks.

"I'm Roier," he says.

Cellbit gives up on his analyzing; he'll get back to it when he isn't still so drained from losing so much blood.

"Cellbit," he replies. "Thank you for saving me."

"Nah, it's nothing."

(Roier's smile is sharp-toothed and positively breathtaking [or maybe that's just the blood loss talking.])

"Thank you for waking up."

[takethebodymarc]

ok guys i finally got to watch maximus' talk about qsmp! and here have some paraphrasing:

i've seen in twitter that qsmp is making merch, they released trump, i laughed by myself because they're going to be selling an egg called trump. i named him trump because the series had a massive wall, my brain made a connection in that moment: "ok if there's a wall there has to be someone called trump". and now they're going to sell an egg for real called trump. another piece of qsmp lore where i contributed.

he also jokes that trump's wish was to build a bigger wall than the one the qsmp built. and that if quackity or merch person changes the name to trumpet just because they’re afraid of success he's gonna be disappointed. (/j !)

chat also asks if he's gonna get some % but he says that if there's someone that should get it is the one that played as trump! that he shouldn't get anything.

one day i'll pass by, but it's not going to be everyday content. because i really miss badboy, i miss the guys, i miss badboy, i miss forever, philza, baghera, i had a great time with baghera i laughed so much with her, cellbit, roier of course, slimecicle, foolish, pacmike, guys i was in the best era of the qsmp

he also says that he feels for the new creators for not being able to live through the beginning of the server bc it was really nice:')

i really like quackity i think he has a really big project, what he's done is really nice, to bring so many people from different countries together, not a lot of people do that.

he loves that its gotten to a point where they have met each other and that he hopes they get together again and visit france/spain so he can meet them finally.

and at the end he described qsmp like a summer camp jsjsj

[miscellaneoussmp]

Also I've rambled at you, can I have a your pokemon au ramble back. pls? ~Factorial

I would answer with all the angst that this au has (trust me, there's a lot), but I wanna talk about some of the arena themes.

Fit's main gym arena is themed around a radio tower. It's pretty high up, so you gotta climb to fight him! (Or use a flying type. You probably have on you as Fit is the fighting gym.)

Tubbo's elite four arena is steampunk themed, very similar vibes to Tubchunk! He is the electric type elite four member, so I think it's a little funny he's steampunk themed.

Cellbit's elite four arena is themed like his Fear Room with Darkrai motifs (what's the point in decorating your own arena if you're not going to feature your childhood fascination, turned childhood trauma, turned the thing that haunts you as an adult?)

Felps' champion arena is themed like a church, and as a bonus, Arceus itself likes to hang out in the arena. Felps takes the opportunity to show every challenger Arceus, because he finds it fun.

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Familoier:

I CANT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR TYPING

THE TRIO OF ALL TIME TRULY- ALL 3 OF THEM LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH- LIKE ROIER AND CELLBIT ARE MARREID YEAH BUT THEY STILL CONSIDER JAIDEN PART OF THEIR FAMILY SHE IS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HER- ROIER AND JAIDEN WILL ALWAYS BE PARTNERS NO MATTER WHAT

theee relationship of all time: roier is husbands with cellbit and jaiden is his qpp, they are all so caring for each other and they have had their tension and their bad moments but there's a genuine want to communicate and grow better all the time :( <3

Cellbit and Roier are romantic married, Roier and Jaiden were platonic partners raising a child together, and all 3 are chaos together! But get along so so well! They support each other so much and care about each other so deeply and they are all Sillies

this is jaiden, and this is jaiden's partner/ the father of her child roier, and this is roier's cannibal husband cellbit

Boreal Trio:

look. look okay so youve got two battle hardened at least mildly immortal warrior brothers-in-arms slash best friends slash partners for life, and then youve got this anxious, queer wet cat of an enderman who lives in their shed. oooh my god this is gonna be so incoherent im so sorry. ranboo was doing soooo awful when doomsday happened and both techno and phil immediately went him. that one. he needs to be safe and supported and away from all of this he should come with us. only if he wants to. and he did want to!! he was soo anxious but he got more confident!! none of them are great at expressing their feelings verbally (techno is but he also does other things) so they do it in other ways! phil rushing over as soon as he hears ranboo CLOSE to water because he knows it hurts him! techno moving the prison break up from 'some time soon i guess' to 'now now we are leaving now we are doing this RIGHT NOW' as SOON as ranboo gets detained!! avenging his ghost, throwing any and all hesitation about tubbo away to work with him because that was what ranboo wanted, that was what he asked. always checking in and making sure he was okay. all three of them are soooo dysfunctional but i love them so much. think of the mansion raid streams!! techno and ranboo off adventuring, phil taking care of the animals and getting up at 3am real time to trigger their stasis chambers!! they care about each other all so fucking much and they are a family! please vote for them i will be very sad otherwise :(

[hwaddist]

i gonna be so real and honest here and say that some of you do not know how to read:

QSMP2024 is still the same damn server with the same damn lore and they are STILL ON THE SAME DAMN ISLAND

Phil pointed out yesterday how they were 200k blocks away, today Luzu tried using the waystones but they were deactivated because the waystones in the og spawn and surrounding areas are still there, when Cucurucho was going around talking to the islanders he asked “how are you liking THIS PART of the island”

there wasnt no lore restart nor this is a new server, the lore is still there, but this is day TWO of this new era of fucking course theres no lore, bad even said that today on stream that “there could be lore at any point.” the eggs even have immunity!

yes! it was kinda shitty that Richas and Pomme went without Phil to rescue Cellbit and Baghera but maybe, just maybe, you guys should remember that this people have lives outside of the server and maybe phil couldn’t make it to the recording of the video!

Willy pointed out today that the reason he stopped logging in when he first joined the server was because everyone else was already way too OP with literal castles and armor so tough they would barely get scratched by mobs when he barely had diamond armor, so he got discouraged and didn’t logged on again. Now that everyone is back at being balanced he wants to log in again! Maybe even tell Vegetta to log in again!!

edit but also general minecraft knowledge: they probably traveled so far out to get new world generation because they jumped from 1.18 to 1.20 (from what i can see because the spawn wouldn’t generate stuff like deep dark don’t generate on already loaded chunks), so that is why they are 200k+ blocks out. also the create mod didnt got taken out, its just disabled at the moment because the admins probably dont want another tubchunk.

you guys SERIOUSLY need to stop doomposting and trust in the admins and in Quackity.

UPDATE: Baghera has talked about having planning issues and thats why they had to cancel the rescue mission with Phil!

and Fit said that his lore is STILL ONGOING

[ramons-elevator]

One thing I love about Fit and Ramons relationship is that Fit trusts and respects Ramons decisions, especially when it comes to life threatening things.

Fit wanted Ramon to have a room in the N.I.N.H.O. but Ramon didnt feel comfortable with it and trusts his house more. So they made a comprise and have so Ramon gets TPed to N.I.N.H.O. when TTTT happens and then he TPs to his house. Fit even made a statis chamber in Ramons basement just incase.

When everyone went to the Timer Dungeon™️, Fit wanted Ramon to stay at home/go to sleep incase anything happens. Ramon didnt want to. He wanted to help and fight. Despite not knowing what was gonna happen, Fit let him go with. When Cellbit and others told Fit ‘Hey you should probably send Ramon home’, Fit said no its fine because he trusts Ramons decision.

When Ramon was building his giant TnT cannon, Fit asked Ramon if he wanted Fit to test it out first or Ramon himself. Even though its a deadly Tnt cannon and could kill him on the first test run, Fit wanted to see what Ramon wanted.

Fit loves Ramon to death and knows how independent he is. He knows that if Ramon dies, its gonna be on Ramon’s terms not anyone elses. He trusts his baby boy more than anything. He knows how smart and careful his son is.

Even though Ramon said it, I think “I trust you, even in the dark” is something that can be applied to Fit too.