#Should You Spray Your Cat With Water

[pa-pa-plasma]

yelling at the cat & spraying them with water results (as physical punishments for animals & also small children usually go, & yes, spraying with water is a physical punishment) in the cat learning that they can do the thing as long as you aren't around. They don't understand why you're punishing them. They might know, but they don't understand. All it is to them is you attacking them for no reason. They don't have a concept of "destroying the couch" or "counter needs to stay clean & your feet are very, very dirty".

Jackson Galaxy can say it way better than I can so I'm just gonna link his video on training your cat out of these "bad" behaviours:

Please stop physically punishing your cats. All it's doing is ruining your relationship with them.

love when you stop a cat from doing something and instead of understanding that they shouldnt be doing that theyre just like. ah sorry my good sir you seem to have interrupted me. no worries let me just shimmy past you and get a taste of that pan of hot oil. please.

[hoshifighting]

LYLAAAAAAAAA OMG ILYSM EAT ABD SKEEP AND DRINK WELL!!!

if you don't mind a req, Jihoon (or svt reaction) when he finds how good it feels to use a shower spray against the hoohaa

clit stimulation using shower spray w woozi <33

WARNINGS: situationship!woozi, bath sex, using shower head to masturbate, dirty talk, mentions of body fluids (cum)

it always started like this with jihoon—blurred lines that somehow felt crystal clear when you were with him. like, you knew what it was, but did you really? dude would pass by your place at 10 p.m. like, “you eat yet? i got chicken katsu.” then, five hours later, he’s snoring on your couch, legs tangled with yours, an arm slung over your stomach like he lived there. and yeah, maybe he didn’t outright say things, but actions...oh, he was fluent.

tonight wasn’t any different. except it was.

you were mid-rant to your group chat about some guy hitting on you at the café when jihoon’s name popped up. jihoon: "should i bring dumplings or ramen? heading over." like. no question if you wanted him over; just straight vibes of "you good? i’m on my way."

fast-forward, and somehow, you ended up here—in the shower, your body pressed up against the tiles while jihoon held your leg like he was tuning a guitar. the steam made everything feel hazy, as he rinsed the soapy bubbles from your body.

the shower spray hit your inner thigh, the pressure tracing lazy lines up to places he wasn’t even aiming for. “lift a little,” he mumbled, voice low like the water could hear him. his hand slid behind your knee, steadying you like it wasn’t a big deal, but when that stream hit right at your clit. your breath stuttered, sharp enough to make his brows knit together.

“what?” he asked, head tilting like a curious cat. the fucker.

you shook your head, mortified.

his lips twitched, like he didn’t fully buy it, but he adjusted the angle anyway, aiming higher. too high. a broken moan fell out of your mouth, and your hand flew to his shoulder, digging in like it could stop time. it didn’t.

jihoon froze, the stream still very much pressing where it shouldn’t. “wait.” his tone was careful, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him. “does that—does it feel good?”

you groaned, smacking your forehead against his collarbone. “don’t.”

“i’m not judging!” he insisted, but the joy in his voice was hella obvious. “just—wait. do you do this by yourself? like, on purpose?”

“oh my god, stop talking.” you could feel your face burning, like the steam was actively conspiring against you.

jihoon chuckled under his breath, this low, knowing sound that made your embarrassment worse. “okay, okay. no answer needed.” he adjusted the spray, the water softening into a gentler stream, but he didn’t let go of your leg. didn’t pull away either.

the shower went silent for a beat, save for the soft patter of water hitting tiles. you thought that was it—mortification over, donezo. until jihoon, of course, had to ruin it.

“so... you want me to keep going?”

your gaze flickered to him, catching the way his eyes softened regardless the sneer tugging at his lips. you bit your lip, heart pounding louder than the water. and then, quietly, like you were confessing to a crime, you mumbled, “mhmm.”

his grip on your leg tightened just a fraction, his smirk deepening. “okay,” he whispered, so gentle it made your chest ache. “just relax, yeah?”

his hand tightened around your thigh like he was steadying himself, except you knew it was for you. the spray hadn’t moved yet, still teasing the edge of your inner thigh, the warm water trailing in lazy streaks down your skin. jihoon adjusted his grip slightly, his thumb grazing the back of your knee.

“you good?” his voice was soft, almost too soft, and when you peeked up at him, his eyes weren’t mocking anymore. he looked focused. calm. it made your chest twist in ways you weren’t ready to deal with.

you nodded, swallowing hard. “yeah.”

“okay.” he glanced down, adjusting the showerhead with his free hand, the click of the spray setting sounding far too loud in the intimate quiet of the bathroom. then, like he’d done it a thousand times before, he tilted the stream closer, the water landing in a direct line that made your toes curl.

“jihoon—” your voice cracked, half his name, half a choke, and your body jolted on reflex. the spray circled over your clit, not quite a flick but not soft either, the pressure just shy of overwhelming.

he paused instantly, pulling the water back. “too much?”

“no, no,” you rushed, your hand gripping his shoulder like it was your lifeline. “just—fuck, i wasn’t ready.”

his lips curved into the faintest smirk, a tiny dimple ghosting one cheek. “should’ve said something. i could’ve warned you.”

you grumbled, heat blooming up your neck, he was already moving again, guiding the water in slow circles. it was gentle at first, the warmth rolling over you, but as he shifted his wrist, tilting the angle just slightly, the stream narrowed, honing in on that one spot.

your hips bucked forward, a strangled whine slipping from your throat, and jihoon chuckled low under his breath. “there it is,” he murmured, almost like he was talking to himself. “feels good, hmm?”

you wanted to snap at him, to tell him to stop talking like he wasn’t wrecking you in the middle of your own bathroom, but the words dissolved into a needy moan as he flicked the stream upward, the water hitting just right. your fingers dug into his arm, and you swore your knees might give out.

“careful,” he said, his tone shifting to something softer, his hand sliding to cup your hip as his forearm holds the back of your knee now, grounding you. “don’t go falling on me now.”

“easy for you to say,” you bit out, your voice trembling, but he only hummed in response.

he switched the spray again, this time narrowing it even more, and when he angled it just below your clit, letting the water ripple against you in a teasing rhythm, your head tipped back against the tile. “holy fuck,” you choked, legs trembling.

jihoon’s smirk widened, but his grip didn’t falter. “yeah?” he asked. “you like that, hmm?”

your only response was a broken whimper, and his hand flexed against your hip like he was fighting the urge to pull you closer. “relax,” he murmured, his voice steady even as his own breath hitched slightly. “just let it happen. i got you.”

you did relax, maybe too much, because the next moment, your leg wobbled, your body sliding just enough to make you panic. but jihoon moved instantly, catching you before you could even process it, his arm locking around your waist while he adjusted the spray back to that perfect rhythm.

“gotcha,” he said, and there was something in his voice—pride, maybe, or just satisfaction at the way you melted into him. “thought you were gonna make me work for it.”

you glared weakly at him, your cheeks burning, but it only made him laugh, the sound soft and familiar, grounding you even as your body threatened to unravel.

“don’t worry,” he added, his voice dipping as the spray circled again, the pressure building making your vision blur. “i’m not stopping ‘til you’re begging me to.”

jihoon adjusted the spray again, sharper now, the stream jolting directly onto your clit. it wasn’t gentle, wasn’t soft. the sound that ripped from your throat wasn’t human, and your body arched against the tile, your back curving like a bowstring pulled too tight. your neck stretched, your breasts lifting as your lungs fought for air, and he didn’t move.

he just watched. studied, really. his eyes darted between yours, flicking from one to the other, then down to your parted lips, swollen and trembling. but then, as if he couldn’t resist, his gaze fell lower, trailing the path of your shivering belly, your chest rising and falling in frantic bursts.

his grip on your waist tightened, keeping you steady as your legs buckled again. the way you shook wasn’t subtle—your entire body was trembling, your muscles pulled taut under his hands. but jihoon didn’t stop. he tilted the stream slightly, letting the water flick at just the right angle again, and the sound that escaped you was downright obscene, echoing off the walls of the bathroom.

“fuck, jihoon—” your voice cracked on his name, and the way his lips twitched into a barely-there smirk made you want to scream for an entirely different reason.

“yes?” he asked, his tone smooth, but his breath wasn’t. it was uneven, shaky, like he was feeling this just as much as you were. “i can feel it—you’re so close.”

he was right. too right. the pressure built and built, your thighs clenching around nothing as your core tightened, heat pooling low in your belly and spilling over. the water, the angle, his goddamn voice—it was all too much.

“hoon, i—fuck, i’m—” the words dissolved into a scream as your orgasm tore through you. your hips jerked forward, your body trembling uncontrollably as the spray kept hitting that same devastating spot. your moans were loud, messy, your breath hitching in sobs as your climax rolled on.

jihoon didn’t move, his hand firm on your waist, keeping you upright as your legs gave out completely. he looked mesmerized, his jaw tight, his eyes flickering between your face and your trembling pussy. “fuck,” he whispered like he didn’t mean for you to hear it.

but the spray didn’t let up. even as you sagged against him, your hands clutching his arms for dear life, the water kept its merciless rhythm, and your overstimulated nerves lit up like fireworks. “jihoon,” you whimpered. “s-stop—too much, it’s—”

he blinked out of his trance, his fingers brushing your hip in silent reassurance before he turned the showerhead aside, finally giving you mercy. the sudden absence of stimulation left you gasping.

jihoon’s gaze dropped, and when he saw it—saw the string of your cum clinging to your folds before dripping down to the tile—his breath hitched. it was wet, but wasn’t water; it couldn’t have been. it was too viscous, too familiar. the memory of your taste, sweet and unique flickered in his mind, and he swallowed hard.

[cherrychilli]

18+

Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, friends to lovers, mentions of nudity, brief mention of masturbation (m). Basically, Eddie finds you sleeping naked in his bed.

A/N: Idk I've had this idea in my head for too long now and I need to exorcise it out of me with this little drabble or I'll never be able to get on with my life.

Forest Hills trailer park wasn't your usual stop after clocking out of work but after the day you’ve had you don’t have it in you to wait for the next bus back to your apartment. Your place is 30 minutes away but the journey is sure to take even longer in the current downpour.

Staying over at the trailer wasn't anything new. A spare key was entrusted to you years ago and you made use of it on days like this to crash at Eddie’s for convenience sake. The key came with the promise that you were welcome to anything you needed even if both Eddie and Wayne were away – shower, food, an extra change of clothes, what have you, and you needed them all today.

With Wayne out of town for a few days and Eddie due back in two hours you sink into auto pilot, weary down to the bone from your shift. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t feel as weird as it probably should when you started to undress in their kitchenette, hanging your work clothes over the back of a nearby chair, rummaging through the fridge in your bra and panties for a quick bite to eat before heading for the shower.

There wasn’t much in it besides beer since Wayne hadn’t been around to stock it. Eddie always preferred ordering take out over getting groceries – something you were going to nag him for again when you had the strength to do so.

Cereal it would have to be.

You located a box inside one of the cupboards, tipping the wheaty, sugary contents straight into your mouth without bothering with a bowl and spoon. It’s not lost on you how similarly you’re acting to Eddie right down to the unruly state of half undress, wiping crumbs off your lips with the back of your hand. If you finished off with a belch it'd be like he never left the trailer this morning.

The messy mouthfuls of cereal prove enough to silence the toad’s croak of hunger that'd been gurgling noisily inside your belly, putting the box away.

Traipsing through, feet dragging, you threw your clothes into the washer next along with your underwear, completely nude now in the Munson trailer as you made your way to the shower – but not before reaching out for Eddie's Garfield mug that sat on a nearby shelf, turning it around so that the cartoon cat's lazy smirk no longer faced you. For your modesty.

You try to keep the shower brisk, not wanting to use up all the hot water but with the way it sprays down on your aching body, the steam and heat combo soothing your poor sore muscles, it’s so blissful that you have to keep yourself from nodding off right there.

You did make use of Eddie’s body wash, some spicy, woodsy smelling thing in a jet-black bottle but you didn't dare use the two in one shampoo that sat in their shower caddy. It might have worked fine for Eddie and his wild mane but you knew better than to apply the stuff to your own hair. Fortunately, experience had taught you to carry a travel sized bottle filled with your own shampoo whenever you stayed over, working over your locks in a lather scented with cranberries and vanilla.

Stamina depleting by the second, toweling off and brushing your teeth takes the last sliver of energy out of you. Eyelids slipping, movements sluggish, limbs feeling too heavy for your own body to hold up – you’re shutting down whether you like it or not.

Dropping the damp towel on his bedroom floor, you intended to change, you really did. You’d even picked out one of Eddie’s washed t-shirts and a pair of boxers out of the laundry and set them down at the foot of the bed to put on before you made yourself comfortable but that’s not what happened.

Still nude, you crawl into bed, seeking warmth and soft comfort, numbed down to a kind of tunnel vision with rest being your one and only goal.

It feels all the more natural because you’re used to sleeping naked in your own bed, much too tired to remember that you’re not in your bed, draping a blanket that doesn't belong to you over your spent body, surrendering to sleep seconds after your head hits the pillow.

It'd still been raining when Eddie returns later. Dragging himself through the trailer, nearly as worn down as you had been, shaking the excess water out of his hair like a dog trying to get dry.

The smell of your shampoo still lingering in the air tells him you're there, finding you curled up in his bed, all bundled up to your neck. The sight makes him smile.

It doesn't take too long for him to join you, following a similar routine – a quick bite with the addition of a beer and then a shower, only he doesn't skip out on clothing himself in his PJ's first.

If he’d shared the blanket with you he might have found out about your lack of dress sooner but as the gentleman that he can sometimes be, he pulls out a spare blanket from the closet so as to not wake you, prolonging the discovery. Being friends for so long meant that sharing a bed was never awkward even after you'd became adults.

That was until the next morning came.

It’s not the stream of morning light brightening from a cool blue to a warm amber peeking in between the curtains that wakes Eddie, or even the tinny smack of his neighbor’s broken screen door gusting open just a few feet away from his bedroom window. It’s the warmth of your ass pressed flush against his crotch and his nose nestled in your sweet-smelling hair that pulls him out of a dream he wont be able to recall later if he tried.

He shifts closer, eyes cracking open, remembering the tiny bottle of shampoo sitting on the bathroom counter. Remembering the new toothbrush placed in the cup next to his own. Remembering the powder blue towel that neither he nor Wayne ever used laying on his bedroom floor.

And then he remembers that he’s not alone.

Oh...

And then he wishes that he was.

Panic snaps up like a beartrap around Eddie when he realizes he's hard – his thick, throbbing erection pressed right up against your body.

Growing clammy, cold sweat beads on the back of his neck but he’s in luck because you haven’t noticed yet, still sound asleep.

This close together, he knows the slightest movement could rouse you. But what was the alternative? Wait it out? Hope to hell his boner goes away? Fat fucking chance. Not when the soft swell of your ass and your body heat alone had him questioning how he could ever go back to his calloused fist after this.

Carefully, desperately, he tries to inch back without waking you but just as he feared, you begin to stir. Your back arches instinctively, seeking out his warm, solid frame even in your sleep.

Shit shit shit.

The covers slip as you shift, your bare shoulders coming into view, eyes starting to flutter open. With no other option, Eddie swiftly rolls on to his back, his hard on no longer pressed up against you but the problem persists.

“Oh, morning”, you greet him through a yawn, pulling an arm out to rub at your eyes, blanket slipping lower but the frantic boy hasn’t noticed yet, too busy whipping his pillow out from under him to place over his lap.

“Uh-hey. Shower’s free if you wanna go first”, he offers quickly, smiling hard, hoping to subtly usher you out because he's too afraid to get up and risk you getting a load of the tent in his pants if he were to go ahead of you.

“Thanks”, you yawn again, still occupied with rubbing at your sleepy eyes to notice your best friend's pale face turning beet fucking red in an instant as you clamber out of bed, blankets no longer concealing you.

Eddie doesn’t know where to look first. His eyes dart everywhere, every bare inch of you on display. So much soft, naked skin it’s making him short circuit.

His gaze eagerly travels over the slope of your breasts as they jiggle gently with your movements, taking in your soft nipples, moving down over your belly and hips, noticing a few new freckles and beauty marks there along the way to the soft curls between your legs.

His erection digs into the pillow, brain dangerously close to fizzing because he’d been pressed up against you like that all night and not even known it.

A shiver works its way through you, making you question why it feels so drafty in his room all of a sudden. You turn back to ask Eddie if there’s anything wrong with the heating, catching the shocked expression on his face.

Looking down, you're met with the sight of your nude body, breasts bare, no underwear. It's a good thing the occupants of the trailer park liked to mind their own business, even if sometimes you thought they did so to a fault because in any other neighborhood your piercing screech would have had everyone within earshot dialing up the cops.

The scream ricochets off the walls at an ear ringing volume, causing Eddie to jolt and lose his balance, falling out of bed while you leapt back in. Grabbing his spare pillow, you press one half against your chest and squeeze the rest between your thighs to shield yourself.

Now he slaps his hands over his eyes.

---

More than anything, you try so hard to push it aside. To pretend that it hadn't happened but it looms over you like a cloud on the brink of bursting with rain.

After three whole days of walking around eggshells around each other it's Eddie who breaks first.

"I can't stand this I don't know what else to do, Can we just talk about it please?"

“Eddie…", you sigh, a gentle warning.

"So what if I saw you naked? you saw my boner!...sort of. I mean, I guess that doesn't exactly make us even but it has to count for something, right? you're not alone in this"

You immediately set your wide eyes on the only other patrons in the diner to see if they’d overheard – two older women swapping pictures of their grandchildren over coffee and cheesecake. When neither of them take a pause in the middle of cooing about little Tommy's third Birthday or little Emily's first day of Kindergarten you redirect your attention back to Eddie.

“Eddie! Keep your voice down!”, you whisper shout at him from across the booth. "There are literal grandmother's here!"

He rolls his eyes. Not mean spirited, just unconcerned by the ladies and what they may or may not have overheard.

And then, even though no one’s paying either of you any attention, you lean closer over your half-finished key lime pie, one hand shielding the side of your face like you’re trying to avoid getting recognized by an ex who’s just walked in.

"I'm so embarrassed...please can we just drop it?", you plead, voice hushed.

He gives you this look of mild incredulity. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me", and the inflection in his tone almost gives him away, prompting him to double back immediately.

The last thing he wants is for you to feel more uncomfortable than you already do. So he doesn't need you to catch on that he's got every moment of your unintended strip tease memorized. Or that he likes to replay what he's since thought of as the best 10 seconds of his life over and over again when he's fucking his fist in the shower.

“I just mean that it's nothing to be embarrassed by. It could have happened to anyone. Who among us hasn’t napped in just their birthday suit before, am I right?” he finishes with a slight wince, knowing none of this is exactly helpful.

And you know he’s only trying to be nice in his own, sweet, bumbling way but you still feel terrible.

"I don't know if I can shake this feeling", you cast your eyes down, looking too close to despondent for his liking.

"Listen I- I don't know how to fix this but I want to. Please just tell me what I can do and I'll do it, okay?"

God, he's sweet and it makes you feel a little flustered being on the receiving end of that gentle stare, needing to shift the mood lest you drown in all that earnestness pooling in his eyes.

It's moments like this that call for a bad joke to cut the tension, right? some momentary and well meaning deflection before you're ready to address the matter at hand again.

Letting out a half hearted laugh, you make your best attempt to inject some humor into the situation.

"I don't know. Maybe it might help if you got naked too", you nervously scraped your fork against the buttery graham cracker crust of your pie, dislodging a few golden crumbs.

It was so very clearly a joke. At least you had thought so. Eddie? not so much.

His brown eyes go wide, looking scandalized, his voice coming out a little more quite than you're used to.

"What?"

"I mean, I showed you mine after all", you tried again in a cadence that was wholly unserious but once again, he fails to catch on.

"You want me to get naked for you?"

You should correct him and you mean to but before you're able to do just that, something about the way he's staring at you makes you want to match his seriousness. The fact that he didn't say no right away strikes you as weirdly intriguing.

"You don't have to", you clarify, adding, "It's just that – well, you asked and I think it could maybe help? to really get us on even ground?”

The words that come out don't feel like you own – foreign to your ears even though they're said in your voice, with your own lips forming them and your own tongue curling around every syllable.

What the hell am I doing?

Eddie pauses. Seconds drag on like nails on a chalkboard as he taps a ringed finger thoughtfully on the edge of his empty plate smudged with faint traces of cream cheese and lime zest.

"Fine. On one condition", he leans back, arms crossing over his chest, smiling wide and megawatt bright.

Oh my god is this really happening?

“...Yeah?”

"You're going to undress me"

---

Part two? who knows. Certainly not I.

[p0orbaby]

Do Not Disturb (Unless You're Drunk and Nosy)

summary: privacy? you wish

warnings: suggestive, alcohol, literally everyone being a little shit, angry ale (hot)

a/n: may or may not be inspired by real events…

word count: 1.6k

-

You always thought getting walked in on would be, you know, mortifying. Like, your face turns tomato red, you start stammering, and then you spend the rest of your life avoiding the person who caught you with your pants down—literally. But it turns out that, in reality, it’s way worse than that.

Here’s the thing: Alexia Putellas is perfect. You know this, because you’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time cataloging her perfections. Her perfectly toned legs that could crush a coconut. Her perfectly sharp jawline that could carve Mount Rushmore. Her perfectly soft lips that could silence an entire stadium with a single kiss. And when you’re drunk at a friends house party, it’s easy to forget that this perfection isn’t something you should casually indulge in right now, in a random upstairs bedroom, while everyone else is downstairs playing beer pong and comparing their World Cup tattoos.

But when Alexia grabs your hand and drags you away from the chaos, her eyes all dark and dangerous, any rational thought you have dribbles out of your ears like last week’s gossip. So here you are, in this bed—well, on this bed, because you didn’t even make it all the way under the covers—desperately trying to remember how to breathe while Alexia’s tongue is doing things that would make a priest reconsider his career choices.

You’re about to reach the kind of nirvana people write songs about when the door slams open. Not opens—slams. As if someone was just waiting for the right moment to ruin your life.

“Oh my God,” someone says in a tone that suggests they’ve just witnessed a murder, except, of course, that would be preferable.

Alexia’s head snaps up so fast you’re surprised she doesn’t get whiplash, and you have about two seconds to see the wild panic in her eyes before her entire body goes rigid like a cat that’s just been sprayed with water. She’s still on top of you, which would be hot if you weren’t currently wondering whether you’re legally obligated to register as a sex offender for being caught like this.

And who’s standing there in the doorway? None other than Jenni, who you’re pretty sure was voted “Most Likely to Show Up Uninvited” in high school. She’s holding a half-empty bottle of tequila in one hand and a phone in the other, like she’s been documenting the worst possible moments of the night, and this one’s going to top the list.

“Holy shit,” Jenni says, blinking as if she’s trying to reboot her brain. It doesn’t work, because the next thing out of her mouth is, “Is this a private party, or can anyone join?”

That’s it. You’re going to die. This is how you die. Not from the embarrassment but because Alexia is going to murder you both. You can see it in her eyes. She’s doing some very fast maths in her head, and it ends with Jenni’s body floating down a river somewhere.

“Close the door,” Alexia snaps, and it’s the first thing she’s said in what feels like hours. Her voice is sharp enough to cut glass. Jenni just stares at her for a moment, then at you—still half-naked, because of course you are—and then at Alexia again, like she’s debating whether the smart move is to leave or to stay and further ruin your life.

But of course, Jenni’s never been one for smart moves.

“Oh, no, no, no,” she says, waving her tequila bottle around like it’s a magic wand that’s going to make this situation less awkward. “This is gold. I’ve got to tell the others.” She turns around and yells down the stairs, “Hey, guys! Get up here, quick!”

You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to crawl under the bed and maybe live there forever with the dust bunnies and whatever sock the last person to use this room lost. But you don’t get the chance to do any of that, because Alexia has now flipped the fuck out, and she’s off the bed and across the room in a flash, slamming the door shut with enough force to rattle the windows.

“Are you insane?” Alexia hisses at Jenni, who looks like she’s genuinely surprised that Alexia isn’t finding this whole situation hilarious. “Do you have a death wish?”

Jenni, who’s clearly never learned to read the room, just grins, leaning against the doorframe like she’s auditioning for the role of “World’s Biggest Pain in the Ass.” “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You’re the one who decided to get frisky in someone else’s house”

You’re still lying there, half-dressed, your shirt tangled up with some lacy thing that definitely belongs to Alexia, watching the two of them bicker like you’re not even here. You could say something, of course. You could try to diffuse the situation, maybe crack a joke or two, but that would require actual brain function, and right now, all you’ve got is the mental equivalent of elevator music.

Alexia’s about to bite Jenni’s head off—probably literally—when, as if the universe wasn’t satisfied with your current level of humiliation, there’s a knock on the door.

“Jenni? What’s going on?” You recognise that voice. It’s Mapi, followed by a snicker from Patri and what sounds like Ingrid trying and failing to shush them. Great. Just great. Now you’ve got an audience.

Before anyone can react, Jenni swings the door open with the enthusiasm of someone who’s about to introduce a sold-out concert, and your teammates spill into the room like they’ve been rehearsing this all night.

“What the—” Mapi starts, then stops dead when she sees you, then Alexia, and then your clothes all over the floor like some kind of chaotic breadcrumb trail. Her eyebrows shoot up so high they practically disappear into her hairline. “Oh, wow”

There’s a moment of silence that’s so uncomfortable you could bottle it and sell it to masochists. You’re pretty sure you’re about to melt into the bed and become one with the mattress. Meanwhile, Patri has the audacity to wolf whistle, which earns her a glare from Alexia that could stop a freight train.

“So,” Ingrid says, doing a terrible job at hiding her amusement. “This is…unexpected”

“Unexpected?” Mapi echoes, looking at Ingrid like she’s just suggested that the earth is flat. “This is fucking hilarious”

Jenni’s practically doubled over with laughter now, leaning on Mapi for support, which only sets her off too. Pretty soon, all three of them are giggling like schoolgirls who’ve just found out their teacher’s dating the P.E. teacher.

Alexia is standing there, jaw clenched, probably wondering if anyone would notice if she threw them all out the window. You, meanwhile, have reached a state of embarrassment that transcends space and time. You’re floating above the situation, looking down at your life and wondering where it all went so horribly, horribly wrong.

“Can we not make a big deal out of this?” you ask, even though you know it’s hopeless. “It’s not like we were…” You trail off, realizing that there’s no good way to end that sentence. Not like you were what? Sorting laundry? Rearranging the furniture?

“Having sex?” Patri supplies helpfully, still grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You totally were. We walked in at the good part, didn’t we?”

Alexia makes a strangled sound in the back of her throat, which is probably the only thing that stops her from committing actual homicide. “Out. All of you. Now”

But no one moves. Because why would they? They’re having the time of their lives. Jenni’s already pulling out her phone, probably to tweet something like “Just walked in on the most awkward team bonding experience ever #FML”

“We’re not going to let you live this down, you know,” Mapi says, her smirk so wide it’s a wonder her face doesn’t split in half. “This is going to be the story we tell at every team event from now until the end of time”

“Your kids are going to hear about this,” Patri adds, not even bothering to hide her amusement. “Hell, your grandkids. This is legendary”

You’re going to need therapy after this. Maybe a lot of therapy. But, honestly, that’s future you’s problem. Right now, you just want them to leave so you can salvage whatever dignity you have left and maybe finish what you started with Alexia—assuming, of course, that this hasn’t killed the mood entirely.

Finally, because even she knows when enough is enough, Jenni straightens up and nods toward the door. “Alright, alright. We’ll give you two lovebirds some privacy.” She winks at Alexia, who looks like she might actually be considering taking up a new sport just to avoid ever having to see Jenni again. “But don’t take too long. We’re going to need the play-by-play downstairs”

With that, they finally—finally—file out of the room, still snickering and whispering like they’ve just uncovered the juiciest gossip of the century. As the door closes behind them, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Well,” you say, turning to look at Alexia, who’s now standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. “That went as good as expected”

She gives you a look that could freeze hell, but then, after a moment, she sighs and shakes her head, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “We are never doing this again”

“Sex?” you ask, and the horrified expression that crosses her face makes you burst out laughing. “In someone else’s house,” you clarify, still giggling. “I think that’s a solid rule”

She rolls her eyes but then moves back toward the bed, a mischievous glint in her eyes that tells you maybe the night isn’t entirely ruined after all. “Well, we’re here now,” she says, climbing onto the mattress and pulling you toward her. “Might as well make the most of it”

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[boofisded]

i was wondering what the hell the point of the whole thing was and especially the "dont leave us"

the whole learning to endure things through pacifism thing feels dreadfully shoehorned in at the last possible moment with zero buildup or even proper hinting at it because i beat the warlords the old fashioned way just fine and all i got was some random dialogue because dice would constnatly +Silence me like an asshole

if this was meant to show bubby that you can solve things a different way again what with the dusty face and basically foreshadowing the ending choice of vaccine or mutating as in "whatever you let grow will take hold" in this case being her hallucinations of her family and other such things and violence then why now its fuckin dumb there's nobody left for her to practice this fucking pacifism on never mind the fact you gotta do yado n sweetheart and buzzboy regularly afterwards

"dont leave us" what dont tell me you miss the chick who somehow whooped all your asses ESPECIALLY mr. beautiful who doesn't even go into his other phases, what kinda relationship is that this is stupid this fight sucks i wanna go to bed

Having a Pepe Sylvia moment over the warlord hallucination fight in the definitive edition it is fucking me up so bad. Why is it that out of all the innocents she's killed, she feels guilt over/is haunted by killing the Warlords. why is the song called she's back again she's gone again. Why do they say 'don't leave us'. Why is it raining. why does dice mahone look like that

[frost-queen]

Hot tub (Reader x JJ Maybank)

Requested by: @p0nycurtis, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @floatlosers, @alex--awesome--22  @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly , @denkisclown, @wildiefleur , @meyocoko , @subjecta13-thefangirl , @m-rae23 , @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr , @melsunshine , @panhoeofmanyfandoms , @venomsvl , @the-uncoordinated-house-cat , @rosecentury , @evilcr0ne , @vviolynn , @niktwazny303 , @avada-kedrava-bitch-187, @erikasurfer , @slythetic  , @eliscannotdance

“Look let’s just find JJ and get this over with.” – Kiara spoke, looking over her shoulder to Pope and you. The three of you walked up the driveway. Kiara furrowing her brows when she noticed lots of lights coming from his front yard. – “What the…” – she mumbled underneath her breath. Pope had an interesting view of it too.

Looking confused around to the decoration lights like it was Christmas. Kiara hurried a bit up once she saw the huge thing in his front yard. Unable to miss the hot tub taking up so much place. Inside sat JJ, enjoying the warm water.

You rushed after Pope to reach the hot tub. JJ took the sunglasses a bit down. Eyeing his friends that came standing before him with shock. – “JJ what did you do?” – Pope asked. Gawking at the hot tub in disbelieve. JJ chuckled drunkenly. – “I got a jet going straight up my butt right now.”

It was clear he had been drinking. Certainly to see from the bottles of champagne standing in a floaty around him. – “Ya’ll should get in quickly.” – he continued, bringing a floaty with a bottle closer to him.

Kiara couldn’t stop herself from staring in disbelieve at him. Watching a JJ poorly poured some champagne in two plastic glasses. – “Do you hear me?” – He spoke when no response came. – “Hello!” – calling out for any attention.

Holding a glass up. – “How much did this cost?” – was the only burning question on Pope’s mind. JJ pulled the bottle of champagne down with a drunk chuckle. – “Uhm… well… with the generator, express deliver…” – he explained pointing around.

Kiara couldn’t stop looking around, still trying to hold on to the thought it wasn’t real. That hopefully this was all just a bad dream. You had a sense of what was coming next. Slightly whispering to yourself that he could still prove you wrong. – “Pretty much everything.” – he ended as the final blow was taken.

Pope’s jaw dropped. – “All of it.” – he said trying to wrap his mind around it. – “You spend all of it in one day.” – he finished. – “Pope…” – you said touching his arm to go easy. Pope pulled his arm away, too upset to listen to reason.

“Yeah burned a hole right through my pocket.” – JJ answered, not helping one bit with his case. It made you look up to the heavens, pleadingly. – “But come on guys look at this.” – his voice shrieked a bit higher as he brought the floaties closer to him.

Kiara kept staring in disgust at him. Something he quickly caught up on that he was being judged. – “Kie come one!” – he called out. – “Can’t a man have some luxury in life?” – he pleaded with no success.

Kiara shook her head, crossing her arms. – “Come on, honest all this scraping and struggling…” – his behaviour changing trying to maintain control over not losing his mind.

You noticed it. Saw him struggle to keep himself strong. You knew JJ. He wouldn’t do something this reckless unless something had truly shaken him up. – “You… you only live once right? Enough of this emotional shit, get in.” – he finished toughening up.

“JJ.” – you said coming closer to the tub. – “Y/n come on in, I’ve saved a special spot for you.” – he replied shoving a floaty aside. – “Y/n don’t encourage him.” – Pope told you. You glanced over your shoulder to him with a glare. – “Oh I almost forgot.” – JJ cut through.

Pressing a button as lights flashed on. An engine making a sound as water started to spray from one side to another. – “Yeah I know, disco mode.” – JJ called out with so much happiness. – “Are you kidding me!” – Pope shouted as JJ’s smile faltered.

“You could’ve paid for restitution.” – Pope blamed him. – “Or literally given it to charity!” – Kiara shouted along. – “Just stop!” – you yelled, turning around to them. – “Don’t defend him now Y/n!” – Kiara called back to you.

“I’m not, but yelling at him isn’t going to do any good. It’s not going to change anything. Maybe you should take a second and actually act like a friend than parent him Kie!” – you fired back without any shame.

Having enough of their parental talk towards him like he is a child that needs scolding. Kiara scoffed loud, turning her posture a bit away. – “So what you just want to pat him on the back and tell him it’s okay that he spend all of our money on a stupid hot tub!” – Kiara shouted back.

Pope tried to interfere, maintain some decency. JJ was pinching his nose bridge, close to lose his temper with all this shouting. – “Okay well I didn’t do that!” – he shouted getting up.

Your eyes immediately fell on the bruises on his chest. Knowing what it meant. Luke hadn’t kept his hands to himself. – “I got a hot tub for my friends!” – he called out trying so hard not to breakdown.

“No… you know what screw friends… for my family.” – he corrected himself. You climbed into the hot tub, not caring that you were getting wet. – “JJ what happened?” – Kiara asked shockingly. – “Look at this! Look at this Y/n.” – he said looking around.

You pushed his arm down, coming nearer to him. Wrapping your arms around him. The moment your arms were around him, he started sobbing loud. Burying his face in the nook of your neck. Hugging him tighter, barely able to withhold your own tears.

“I’m going to kill him.” – you whispered to JJ. Letting him know you weren’t going to let Luke off the hook so easily. He sobbed even louder, holding on tight to you. The only lifeboat he had in an endless sea.

“I’m sorry…” – he cried out to you. Regretting his action with the money. – “It’s okay.” – you reassured him. Giving him a kiss in his neck to let him know you were here. That you were always here for him. You felt him shudder against your body, embracing you tighter.

Leaning a bit back with your head, you cupped his cheeks, letting him meet with your eye level. Moving some of his hair aside. Wiping his cheeks dry from the tears. – “You’ll stay with me from now on.” – you told him. – “Your mom…” -  he sputtered out with a sob, guessing what she would say.

“Would welcome you with open arms.” – you told him, wanting him to look you in the eye. He curled up a faint smile. You kissed his cheek, making him smile just that bit more. Taking his hand you guided him down.

Forcing him to sit in the hot tub with you. – “Now where was that jet going straight up your butt.” – you told him hearing him chuckle. He moved a bit away, allowing you to sit there.

You looked over at Pope, nodding to him that it was alright. That you had him. Pope nodded back, taking Kiara by the arm. – “Are you just going to leave them like this?” – Kiara called out. Pope kept pulling at her to give you some privacy. JJ sniffed loud, wiping some wetness of his face.

“I know you are trying to make me feel better Y/n.” – he said splashing some water away. – “Well you got us a hot tub, I might as well enjoy it.” – you answered looking up to him. JJ chuckled slowly turning his head. His smile freezing when his gaze entangled with yours.

Slowly fading and changing into adoration. Sensing what was going through you, probably was going through him as well. A desire to kiss each other. For unspoken feelings to be declared. JJ moved closer to you, lifting his hands up from the water to cup your face.

“I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” – he whispered to you. – “Then stay with me.” – you whispered back. Eyes closing, you decreased the space between you. Allowing your lips to touch. To touch for the first time with such intensity it made your heart burst into a million butterflies.

-------------------------------------

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[hazbn-oneshots]

Bathtime Headcanons

Just a few headcanons for sharing a bubble bath with the main characters. Enjoy!

Charlie:

oddly enough Charlie doesn’t partake in full baths as much as she favors showers.

She’s busy dealing with the hotel and along with ruling as the Princess of Hell so she much prefers a quick warm spray.

On the occasion, however, she finds herself tired enough that you might just be able to convince her to indulge with you. 

You make a point of dredging up any kind of bubble bath, bath bomb, lotion, anything you can find to ensure that you can provide the best bubble bath possible.

Music plays softly over a small speaker, but it’s drowned out the hushed whispers of words of love as you meticulously wash and condition her hair.

Conditioning is your favorite step. Charlie didn’t need it often as her hair somehow stayed so silky, so every now and then when you got to run a soft brush through her hair, twisting it gently to pin atop her head.

She tries to wash you in return but you always push her hand away, insisting on pampering her after a hard day.

Usually ends with you drying her off and carrying her to bed when she inevitably passes out.

Vaggie:

Vaggie loves baths but she’s hard pressed to admit it. Nothing feels better on sore muscles than a nice soak, ideally with lavender. She loves lavender.

The two of you had been dating for about 6 months before she even entertained the idea of going to you with such a request. 

She was too embarrassed to ask.

-in the end, how she broaches the subject is by surprising you one night when you return home. A few candles lined the edge of the bathtub that was filled nearly to the brim with bubbles.

”I just thought it would be nice, you’ve been gone all day” And you know better to react calmly should you risk spooking the flustered angel with the scarlet red face.

She’s the one that drags it out in the end. She’d wrap her arms just a little tighter around your waist and mutter about how the water would stay warm for just a little longer.

Vaggie gives sweet towel hugs.

Alastor:

Listen, Alastor takes pride in his hygiene. He takes the utmost care to keep himself and his dress in immaculate condition. 

He’ll invest in facial creams, hair creams, body creams, oils, lotions, you name it and he’s used it. 

But baths? No. Absolutely not.

You’ve only attempted to convince Alastor to take a bath with you and neither occasion ended particularly well. The radio demon wouldn’t speak to you for a week after the first failed attempt and had all but removed himself from your life with the second so you couldn’t say you were in any hurry for a third.

However, the two of you have come to a happy compromise. Whenever you found yourself in the mood to draw a bath you would sometimes find Alastor pulling a chair up next to the tub with a book tucked under his arm. So would begin a lovely tradition between the both of you.

More than once you’ve found yourself dozing to the soft static of the Alastor’s voice, and in response the demon would lightly tap his cane against the edge of the tub to rouse you.

Don’t fall asleep though, three strikes and he’ll leave you in the tub. No he doesn’t.

Husk:

Not. A. Fan. Considering his entire being consists of fur and feathers, Husk can and will do everything within his power to avoid bathing if he can. Look, it’s just not his idea of a fun night to sit down with a hairdryer and attempt to wring himself out as best he can.

Inevitably he’d miss a spot and end up with stale wet cat smell and no one likes that, especially not our resident grump.

He won’t make a fuss if you want to bathe with him though. What he will do is laugh while patting your shoulder. “I’ll wait for ya in the room”

The more comfortable he gets, however, you’ll start to see that eventually Husk begins to find reasons just to ‘wander’ into the bathroom with you. He misses you, you know it, but it’s still sweet to see him making the excuse of looking for his lucky pair of boxers.

”The water’s always warm darlin”

You better get the blow dryer ready, the only way you can convince him is if you’ll deal with it. You don’t mind though, the purrs are worth it

Angel Dust:

You and Angel take turns picking which bath bombs and bubble baths that you’ll throw into whichever potion you’ll be brewing up tonight.

Bathtime with Angel was always a favorite for you, you couldn’t think of anything better than getting to curl up with your cuddle bug in your arms. Although things never really stay that way for long.

It’s hard not to tease while washing each other. A slip of the hand here, just a little rough touch of loofah there, just a sweet little taste of what could be but the restraint comes easy in the relaxed atmosphere. Just in times like these Angel will be patient enough to wait until you can actually make it to the bed. 

Angel won’t let you wash his hair. You don’t know why he’s so particular about it but if you interrupt his routine of products then his entire night is ruined so you choose the peaceful route and leave the man be. That doesn’t mean he won’t wash your hair for you if you ask though, those four hands of his do wonders at massaging the scalp.

Angel will 10/10 let you towel dry him every single time and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t use it as an opportunity to make a show at bending this way and that, making sure to get every inch of him.

He looks like a fluffy mess afterwards but hey, he’s your fluffy mess.

Requests open!!

[satoruswifeyyyy]

snapping pictures of sleeping megumi

masterlist

megumi fushiguro had passed out on the couch like a bear in hibernation—minus the fur and with extra attitude. his arm dangled off the edge, his hair spiked up in every direction (as usual), and his mouth was slightly open, like he’d been mid-snore before giving up halfway. 

this, you decided, was a golden opportunity.

“megumi, the sleeping grump,” you whispered dramatically to yourself, angling your phone to get the perfect shot. click. “megumi, the soft bean.” click. “megumi, the ‘i’m-totally-going-to-kill-you-when-i-see-this.’” click, click, click.

his expression was so peaceful it was criminal. even his usual scowl had melted away, leaving him looking like an actual angel—albeit a cranky one. you stifled a giggle as you zoomed in, capturing the faint blush dusting his cheeks. you debated adding a filter but decided the raw footage was already comedic gold.

“you should thank me for this masterpiece,” you whispered, snapping one last picture.

a groggy grumble came from the couch. “who… are you talking to?”

you froze mid-snap, your phone still pointed at him like a guilty criminal caught red-handed. megumi blinked up at you, his sleepy glare slowly sharpening into something more deadly as realization dawned.

his eyes narrowed as he slowly sat up, looking at you like a cat that just got sprayed with water. “delete them.”

“delete what?” you asked innocently, sliding your phone behind your back.

“the pictures, y/n. i can see the guilt on your face.”

“this is just my natural glow,” you retorted, trying to edge away from him without making it obvious.

he rubbed his face, his bedhead somehow getting worse. “hand me the phone.”

“no.”

“y/n.”

“megumi,” you mocked, grinning.

his glare intensified, but the faint blush creeping up his neck betrayed him. “i’m serious. delete them.”

“you mean these adorable pictures of you looking like a baby panda, then no. absolutely not.”you turned the phone toward him, showing a close-up of his pouty lips and slightly crooked sleeping position.

he looked mortified. “oh my god.”

“oh my god, indeed,” you teased, swiping to another photo where his hair was sticking up so dramatically it looked like it had its own zip code.

he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “oh my god. this is the worst. give me that.”

“nope!” you danced out of reach, holding the phone high above your head. “you should be thanking me for capturing your rare moments of cuteness. i might make a scrapbook.”

“a scrapbook?! are you insane?”

“insanely talented, yes,” you said with a grin. 

“i’m confiscating your phone.” he lunged for the phone, but you sidestepped him with ease, laughing as his blush deepened. “stop moving!” he demanded, his voice half-annoyed, half-pleading.

“good luck with that,” you said, standing up and holding it above your head like a trophy. “you’d have to grow at least three more inches to reach it.”

he groaned, standing up to chase you around the living room. “stop running!”

“stop being so cute in your sleep!”

“i am not cute!”

“tell that to your face!”

you ducked behind the couch, giggling as he tried to grab the phone. “admit you’re cute, and i’ll stop.”

his blush deepened, and he finally caught your wrist, his face just inches from yours. “y/n, I swear—”

“what?” you interrupted, smirking. “you’ll love me less?”

his grip loosened, and his gaze softened in that rare way that made your heart skip. “…i could never do that.”

you blinked, stunned for a moment, before grinning like a maniac. “aww, megumi, are you confessing your undying love for me while looking like a hedgehog?”

his face went tomato-red as he snatched the phone from your hand. “i hate you so much.”

“lies,” you teased, leaning in and kissing his cheek.

he froze, the phone clutched tightly in his hand, before letting out a resigned sigh. “you’re exhausting.”

“and you’re adorable,” you shot back, settling beside him on the couch. “seriously, though, these pictures are gold. i’m saving them for our wedding slideshow.”

“don’t even joke about that.

“oh, i’m not joking.”

megumi groaned, covering his face with his hands, but you could see the small smile tugging at his lips.

he groaned again, flopping back onto the couch in defeat. “why do i even like you?”

“because i’m charming, hilarious, and i keep your grumpiness in check,” you said, sitting beside him and showing him another picture. “plus, you love me. admit it."

he peeked at you through his fingers, his blush refusing to fade. “you’re insufferable.”

“and you’re adorable,” you shot back, leaning your head on his shoulder. “don’t worry, i won’t post these anywhere… yet.”

he sighed, tilting his head to rest against yours. “you’re lucky i love you.”

“i know,” you said with a smirk, snapping one last picture of the two of you together. “and now, i have proof of your soft side. this is going on the scrapbook cover.”

“y/n,” he warned, though his voice was more fond than threatening.

“relax, megumi. you’ll thank me one day when our future kids see these and realize their dad was the king of sleepy grumps."

his blush returned full force, and you couldn’t help but laugh. megumi fushiguro, the grumpy softie, was yours to tease forever.

you leaned into him, your head on his shoulder, and snatched your phone from him.

one more picture couldn’t hurt.

A/N: happy belated new year guysss!! i have been hella busy lately 😭

here are some pictures of sleeping megumi:

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters at Disneyland

As requested by @jellybeanzrock :)

Listen...I'm sure that SOMEONE on tumblr already did a post like this but I CANNOT find it. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, let me know so that I can link it! I think it was maybe about roller coasters...?

Anyway, here's my take!

1. Steris: Arrives with the perfect plan

Yes, it is in a binder.

Steris: Breakfast: acquired. Steris: We are all sunscreened, we have full water bottles, and we're already 8 minutes ahead of schedule. Steris: According to the plan, this is the optimal time to use our Fast Pass for Space Mountain. Wax: Space Mountain just closed for repairs! Steris: Tch. Turn to Plan C, everyone. I was ready for this.

2. Shallan: Mostly wants to sketch the wildlife

Shallan: Guys, stop! There's a new cat over there! Kaladin: Are you sure? It looks just like all the other cats. Adolin: Are you blind? That one's a tabby. The last one was gray, and the on before that was orange! Kaladin: ...Tabby and orange are different? Shallan: Both of you, hush! You're going to wake him!

3. Lightsong: Won't leave the Tiki Room

[Full disclosure: This is my wife's favorite "ride."]

Llarimar: Your Grace, are you sure you don't want to do...anything else today? Lightsong: This is the only part of the park that's empty and air-conditioned, Spook! Lightsong: Plus, I like the singing birds. Lightsong: They remind me of home.

4. Adolin: Gets too into the Mickey ears

He really should have brought an extra, empty suitcase.

Kaladin [eyes narrowed]: Those aren't the ears you were wearing yesterday. Adolin: Well, duh! These are my breakfast ears. The ears are sunnyside-up eggs! Shallan: He'll change into his midmorning ears after. Adolin: Plus, I have some fun ones for lunch! Not to mention my afternoon ears, my slightly fancy dinner ears... Kaladin: You have a problem. Adolin [waving a hand airily]: You just hate fun.

5. Kaladin: Just really likes the Soarin' Ride

[Full discloser: that is my favorite ride]

Syl: ...You know this is kinda an old man ride, right? Kaladin: I like it. It's peaceful. Syl: We're not even flying! We can fly for real! Kaladin: I like the part where they spray orange-blossom scent. Syl: I can't believe I bonded an 80-year-old man...

6. Syl: Really likes the characters

[Light spoilers for Wind and Truth -- just skip to #7 if you want to avoid!]

Syl: [full-size, now wearing a princess dress] Syl: Children keep asking for my photograph! Syl: I'm not sure who "Elsa" is, but I think I'm flattered!

7. Vin: Just really likes the Tower of Terror ride

It's the one that's just a huge vertical drop.

Vin: It's like jumping off a tall building, only there are more people around you, screaming. Elend: And nobody dies! Vin: And nobody dies.

8. Lift: Is mainly interested in eating every type of churro

She heard there were seven unique types, and she's determined to eat every one.

Wyndle: T-This is reminding me of you and the pancakes in Yeddaw. Wyndle: ...There isn't a dangerous Herald hunting us, is there? Lift: No, but I think that giant Mouse was lookin' at me funny.

9. Kelsier: Keeps ending up where he's not supposed to be

Kelsier: Why would they even HAVE a "forbidden" island clearly visible called Discovery Island if you're not supposed to sneak over to it? Kelsier: It's like they put up a big flashing sign that said "Secrets Here! Come and get 'em!" Dockson: I can't believe you got us kicked out of Disneyland. Kelsier: They started it.

10. Gavinor: Is the most serious child at Disneyland

Gavinor: [Gazing at the Haunted Mansion, unsmiling.] Dalinar: Do you want to go on that ride, Gavinor? Gavinor: Okay. Gavinor: Do you think one of the ghosts might be my dad? Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I don't think mouse ears can fix this.

[izvmimi]

cw: angst. character death. you and izuku are married and have a young son. godparent!katsuki. katsuki has an unnamed wife.

Your son always starts a fuss when you bring him to his grandmother’s house, but for some reason, as you slowly trudge up the steps to your mother-in-law’s modest home (she’d refused to let her son move her out into your large shared home or even a much larger, more roomy domicile of her own), you find that your son is eerily quiet, as though he can sense the turmoil inside of you and is choosing to give you a much needed break. 

By the time he makes it into Inko’s arms, he’s always less fussy, but today he’s quietly looking at you, curiously, as if he’s waiting for you to break down and cry. He’s unnerving that way, gifted with practically the same emotional intuition as your sweet husband, and it doesn’t help that he has practically the same face. Inko is quick to take your behaving not-yet-toddler from you, and gives you a sympathetic look. She is not going to the funeral yet because she plans to watch your son, but she’s spent practically every night this week at Mitsuki’s house, preparing food and helping her through her tears. You’ve helped your best friend, Katsuki’s wife, grieve similarly, but now that the final moment has come to lay him to rest, you feel dread rising in the pit of your stomach. 

You should not show your face. After all, you killed Katsuki Bakugou.

After you repeat this statement again out loud to your mother-in-law, shaky hands folded in your lap as she hands you a glass of water and tries to steady your nerves, she reminds you, as all good mothers would, that it wasn’t your fault.

He’d meant to save you. You hadn’t been the one to force an unclosable hole through his chest, and if it hadn’t been you standing and vulnerable in that particular spot, it would have been someone else he’d have aimed to save. 

Perhaps that last part is true. Or perhaps, because you are one of his closest friends' treasures, he fought a little bit harder, moved a little bit quicker and a little bit more recklessly to ensure that you made it out, that you’d be the one to explain to your best friend why her husband is not coming home to dinner, rather than he have to explain to Izuku why the mother of his child is no longer of this world. It’s a moment that plays in your mind constantly ever since you first heard the sickening crunch of bone and sinew give way, the spray of your child’s godfather’s blood soaking your clean clothes.

You’d just been at the grocery store and run into each other by chance. It’s been over a decade long gag now to pretend you hate each other more than everything while acknowledging that you’ve both intertwined your lives with a person the other holds terribly dear. When you saw Katsuki you crinkled your nose, a joke akin to ‘look what the cat dragged in’ muttered in some variation by you both, before walking side by side and catching up. The four of you had dinner plans that weekend anyway and Katsuki takes the idea of godparent far too seriously for being an only child, and thus was far too interested in what you were putting in your cart.

“I read kids develop their tastes early in life and I don’t think this” - he picks up a six-pack carton of juice that was admittedly laden in sugar from your cart - “is particularly conducive to healthy development.”

“Katsuki, I didn’t ask you,” you hiss, snatching it out of his hands, then sheepishly add, “in fact, that was mine.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“Figures for all that chaotic energy you have,” he jokes. 

You had more to say to him, and then merely ten minutes later, in a flurry of explosions and debris, screams and scattered people,  you were staring straight through his chest to the other side.

“Fuck.”

Fuck? You thought. Katsuki looking at you, then looking at the gaping wound in his chest, then looking at the incapacitated villain and the destroyed supermarket, then looking back at your hands deep in his wound, pressing down at his chest desperately to stop the bleeding as best you can, tears running down your cheeks. You who so often were joined at the hip with the one he loves, who’s grown to merge their natural smile with Izuku’s over time, whose face is distorted in fear and shock and desperation to keep him alive so you don’t have to tell your best friend that you are the reason he’s no longer here to protect her.

Because he was protecting you. For his friend. For his wife. For the kid you’ve entrusted to him in case something happens to your or Izuku's child, who better not get that goddamn juice box.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

You want to scream, no it’s not, it will never be, how am I supposed to tell her-

“I forgive you. I’m not mad. Just take care of her, okay?”

Katsuki’s voice was the quietest, calmest you had ever heard it be since you’ve met him and you hate that he smiled, and you hate hate hate that Izuku would have done it for him, too. 

The shaking turns into sobs again and Inko holds your hands tightly. Your son is upstairs, too occupied with toys, again far too polite and considerate, and you wonder if he’ll remember how hard you are crying right now. If he’ll remember his father crying and holding you that terrible evening. You wonder what he’ll do when he’s old enough to know why his auntie doesn’t have a husband and why there are four people smiling in that wedding photo that hangs in your home instead of the three he knows, and who bought him nearly half of his books and toys. 

“I can’t go there,” you whisper again. 

Inko tilts her head. 

“But she needs you,” Inko murmurs. You wipe your tears with the back of your hands. Your husband, who isn’t the coward you are, is already at the funeral, working through funeral arrangements. Your throat dries up at how much he must be apologizing again, or perhaps he’s not apologizing at all, keeping his head up high and reminding everyone that Dynamight died saving someone important to him and what he did was not a mistake. 

“Kacchan is a true hero.” Izuku repeated softly into your ear, then to himself, then to you again, then to the world, then to his wife. His wife who should hate you but is too mournful to bother.

“I can’t go there,” you repeat. “I cannot look her in the eyes.”

But your best friend needs you and cried in your arms that very first night.

Inko nods.

“But she’d do it for you,” she says, softly.

She would do it for you, the same way Izuku would have done it for Katsuki. 

…

Moments later, you’re squeezing Dynamight’s widow’s hand as Izuku praises him, and you wish it hadn’t turned out this way but you’re at least fulfilling your promise.

Just take care of her, okay? 

You will, for the rest of your life.

[crybaby-magic]

Birthday to Remember

luffy x reader

fluff

birthday art

“LUFFY!!”

“Oops shi shi shi”

You sigh out at his soap throwing behavior as you try scrub his hair and body with soap in the shower.At some point you stare at him before grabbing the shower head and spraying it over his body letting the soapy water fall off his body.Reattaching the shower head back to the shower you let Luffy get into the bubble bath that he insisted on with his wood thousand sunny boat and the straw hat crew rubber duckies that you created for him.Taking your eyes off of him you move to shower yourself letting your mind wander to the past.

————————————☆————————

It was a very exciting day for you not only because it was your 7th birthday and you decided to spend it with Luffy.You had got dressed in a white dress with red ribbon accent.White long socks with black shoes to match.Only problem is your hair.Sighing out you realize your older sister must have left the cabin already.Grabbing more red ribbons you head out to find your mom or sister.Leaving your shared room you see the red haired pirates decorating the ship for your 7th birthday.Heading to the front you find your Mom directing the placement of decorations while Dad and Uta where on the net thing that was attached to the ship.

Rushing up to her pant legs you tug at the ruffles that were a part of the pants trying to get her attention.

“Mommy can you do my hair?”

She directed her attention towards you before saying a quick sure.She picked your body up and set you on top of the table on the deck.She's quick to put your hair in a cute style.She does a once over of your body making sure you meet her standards.While your distracted you didn’t notice you Dad and Uta wandering up towards the table.

“Hey birthday girl!” Your dad says in a joyful tone trying to mess up your hair only to get swatted away by your Mother.

“Knock it off Shanks.”she said in a dead tone.Making him pout for a moment

Your attention is directed towards Uta.Who is standing on the floor looking up at you.

“Why are you so dressed up?”She asked

“Luffy is taking me to a secret spot to show me my birthday present” You cheekily spoke as your eyes gleamed.

“WHAT!” Your Father screeched in despair making everyone on deck stop and observe the spectacle that was finna starting.Your Mother stared at him with an annoyed look.

“You can’t do that,besides how come this is the first time I'm hearing about this.”

“I asked Mom when Luffy had asked me.She told me it was fine she even has Roux making me a picnic basket.”

A sudden wave of betrayal washed over him as he faced your mother who was still nitpicking at your dress.Before he could complain that she allowed one of his babies to go with a ‘random dangerous kid’ she spoke up. “I don’t want to hear it Shanks.They won’t be out long she’ll still make it to her own party.Besides you like Luffy I don’t see the problem.Also can you fix your face it’s annoying me.” Every word that she spoke was like a dagger towards his heart.She let out a sigh debating if she should make Beckman deal with him.They are like husbands anyway.She shook her head before directing her attention to you and your sister.

“Your Father does have a point though I really don’t trust seven year olds wandering around and not cause trouble.So you need to wear your necklace and Ki-Bon has to be there to keep watch.”Your Mother spoke as she pulled your necklaces out from her pants pockets.Placing it on around your neck.

“You do remember how to summon your familiars or do you need me to do it for you.”

Quickly you shook your head as you slowly raised your hand to summon them.You quietly mumbled a spell in a language that you couldn’t understand but oddly know the words too.As your eyes slowly changing to a bright light purple two bubbles popped out of your skin.They soon formed into a floating black cat and white bunny.Both with purple eyes and red swirly cheeks.Once they were created without you mothers help she looked satisfied with your abilities that were forming nicely.

Uta spoke up “I still won’t get used to that” Making your Mother chuckle.

Your Mother grabbed Ki-Bon’s attention before speaking to them with a low tone.You redirect your attention to your Father who you realized had the picnic basket with the food inside.

Your Dad had set the basket down next to you as he grabbed you, putting you into a very tight hug.You hugged him back feeling him still pouting. ‘He’s too high maintenance’ you sighed at the thought despite being seven now.Your attention was now grabbed by a voice at the deck.

“Luffy!”You yelped out.Struggling to pull out of your Father’s grip that was suddenly getting tighter effectively trapping you. “Daaaad leeet Gooo!!!” only to get whining.Everyone laughed at the father daughter moment while they worked.

“Shanks let her go.”Your mother and Uta said deadpanned.Only to get more whining in return.

“Daaad let Go!Your going to make me late!I’ll hang out with you later.”In the final sentence he let you go.

“Ok!See you later!Have fun!Make sure to come home at a reasonable time!”He happily replied and waved you off.Talk about whiplash.

Hopping off the table as you jog off the ship onto the deck to see Luffy waiting for you.In his blue shorts with the fluffy bottom and an orange t-shirt with a fish on it.

“Heyy!I was wondering where you were.”

“Oh sorry I was a little caught up with something.”

A voice came from on top of the ship.Looking up to see your dad and mom with Uta looking at you two.Ya’ll watch as Ki-Bon comes down one with the cover picnic basket and the other your straw hat that was set upon your head. “I expect her back in good condition Luffy.I mean it!”Shanks' non-threatening threat made you two giggle at him before running off for Luffy’s secret spot with Ki-Bon following on your tail.Missing the fact your Mom had hit your Dad across the head then dragging him to continue working all while Uta is laughing.

————————————☆————————

“Are we there yet?”you groaned out with distanine.Really should have worn better shoes for this if you knew where y'all were even headed.

“We’re almost there!”He said.All you could do is internally sigh at the thought of going any further.Maybe your mom was right you were sheltered despite being a pirate yourself.You were quickly brought back to reality once you accidentally bumped into luffy.

Backing up you move around him as you rubbed your nose that got most of the hit.

“Tada! You like it!”Loniking around it wasn’t really anything special: trees,big rocks,small rocks,flowers,plants,And a stream of water passing through.But you did have to agree it was peaceful and relaxing.

“Yeah it's very pretty Luffy! I really like it.”

“You set up the picnic, I'm going to get your present!Ok?!”

You nodded your head in agreement.You decided to have Ki-Bon lay out the orange and white checkered blanket on top of the rock.While setting the basket on rock close by that y’all can reach the food.Ki the bunny familiar had picked you up setting you on the rock.Bon the cat familiar had removed your Dad’s hat,and set it on top of Luffy’s head as he was crouching down and looking into the grass for something.You sat there watching him for awhile wondering what he was looking for.You always did stare at him with great fondness not completely understanding the emotions he caused for you.But you enjoyed how he made you feel.

“Ahh Haa!I found it!”

You questioned what he found tilting your head. You realized he had lifted up a rock and under said rock was a bug.Not just any bug but Luffy’s favorite bug, a beetle.It was pretty because of it’s colorful shell but- “Here you wanna hold it.It reminded me of you cause it's pretty and your pretty.”He said with such a big smile while holding the beetle up to your face.Your hand slowly holds out its palm letting him place the bug in your hand.

“Thanks Luffy, it's really pretty.”You said hesitantly despite the voice in the back of your mind telling you to throw it and run.

While you were in a mental state of distress Luffy hugs you slightly comforting you but not really.

————————————☆————————

“Yo Ho! Hey, stop ignoring me!”Luffy’s voice pulled you out of your trip down memory lane.You realize you were now in the tub with Luffy.Its probably been awhile seeing as your hands were wrinkled.Looking at Luffy’s drained and pouty face you giggled at him.

“It’s not funny. I'm bored and hungry. Can we get out? Sanji has to be done with the food now?!”

“Sure Luffy.”You got up from the tub grabbing the towel for the both of you.You handed him his towel so he could start drying off. As you finished drying you started to get dress.Looking back at him he was dressed but his hair was still wet.Sighing once more you grabbing your towel you started to dry his hair properly.

“You really need to dry your hair properly or you're going to get sick.”

Once satisfied with his hair you grabbed his hat and set it on top of his head.

“Common, let's hurry, you don’t want to miss your own birthday. I even got you the best present.”he said with excitement exiting the bathroom to head to the galley with you in tow.

“Happy Birthday” everyone yelled as you entered the dining room/kitchen of the ship.

You and Luffy sat besides each other as the long table was surrounded by food and in the center a brownie cake and the crew in their own sets.

What followed was the crew singing happy birthday with Brook playing an instrument along.

Luffy tried to eat all the food, even the brownie cake that Sanji was to cut.

Zoro drinks almost all of the alcohol while Sanji yells at him for not helping.

Chopper,Usopp,Frankie dancing and singing along with Brooke with a small basket and sticks in their mouths and noses while Jinbe laughed at the chaos.

Nami and Robin handing you the presents from the crew.

Which contained:

Jinbe getting you more small knives to add to your weaponry.

Brook got you cute underwear that you probably will never wear for obvious reasons.

Usopp making you a small bag of his bullet balls things,but they contain poisons and smoke.

Frankie made you a mechanical lock box that you’ll definitely be putting your favorite jewelry in.

Robin got you some cute outfits,and dresses for when you do your traditional dances.

Chopper got you herbs that you can use, plus a bag of candy.

Nami got you makeup that you've been dying to get your hands on,and a sewing kit.

Sanji got you ‘healing water” that he somehow got from your fathers hometown in the West blue.

Zoro surprisingly got you something which was jewelry with the prettiest gems.

“Hm?Luffy, where's your present that you kept talking about all week.”

Luffy stopped eating for a moment staring at you before hopping up from the table with a shout.He ran out of the room,but not before stretching his arm to grab more meat.Everyone stared at you then each other with confusion on what was happening.He soon re entered the room with the biggest smile plastered on his face.He set a small rectangle thing in front of you that was covered by a white cloth.Everyone stared at the suspicious box.

Luffy then dramatically lifted the white cloth with a ‘TADA!’ to show a travel size cage.Inside the cage was two beetles.It was silent for a moment before it erupted into chaos once more.Nami and Sanji freaking out cause he got you bugs as a present.Usopp and Chopper looking in amazement at it.While the others laughed at the scene.

Tears slowly fell down your face making Nami yell at him more for making you cry.Luffy started to panic at the sight albeit slightly confused.

“D-did you not like it!?I swear you liked them before!”

You just shook your head before hugging him with a small thank you coming out.Luffy relaxing once more.He then started laughing again before demanding Brook to play something.Then everyone started doing what they were doing once more.Singing,eating,dancing,and laughing.Nami just shook her head in disappointment while Robin giggled at the sight.You stared at the cage with fondness.Not only cause it brought back good memories,but it also makes it so you don’t have to touch them.You still hate bugs,but you’ll tolerate them for Luffy.

[ctimenefic]

uhh sooo this needs fic for science (and me) pls could you oblige

always and forever my darling. thank you for this absolute treat of a photo set. you'll notice I basically didn't get past photo one, hope that's alright

“Can you do my back?”

George sounds fucked out; that’s the only reason Alex cracks open an eye, to check the sun and sea and sand haven’t decided to challenge him personally on making George William Russell achieve ultimate bliss. From his own lounger he can just about see George’s face smushed into the crook of his elbow, the corner of his mouth tipped up, and what is no doubt a pleading look unfortunately entirely concealed behind sunglasses. 

“Please,” he adds, and Alex can’t tell if he imagines eyelashes fluttering madly beyond the dark lenses. “I’ll get tan lines.”

“Just take your shorts off,” he grumbles back. He has; an artful grecian fold of towel is all that lies between him and cockburn. It’d been a faff to get it just so, and he’s at that itchy-good stage of his tanning, where sweat’s beading on his skin enough to make it feel tight and stretched, but not uncomfortable. A primitive pleasure. Not something to interrupt with the slime of factor five.

George hmphs into his arm. “It’s not a nudist beach.”

“It’s a private beach. On a private island.” Alex tries to sound annoyed, but it’s actually a fucking marvel that George’s inhibitions reset on a goldfish-like timer; it doesn’t seem to matter how many times Alex fucks him til he shouts on the sand, or sends him back to the villa glistening chin-to-chest with his own come, a few hours later it’s back to baseline, and Alex gets to make a spectacle out of him all over again.

“Aleex.” It’s always like that, stretched out just long enough to be noticed, but short enough to read like a typo, sound slurred and drunk and happy, like George just wants his name on his lips a little longer. And it’s always enough to work, Alex has to concede, as he scrabbles in George’s beach tote for the spray. 

“Alright princess,” Alex snarks, but even that can’t shift George’s smug expression. He straddles George’s thighs and over-spritzes til George’s back is gleaming wet with the stuff. It’s shiny, and smells faintly of cucumber; it makes him think of his sisters doing spa days at home, face masks and fluffy slippers. George might like that.

Another spritz for good measure and George huffs. “That’s expensive.”

“You’ll get another win bonus after the break,” Alex retorts, fond. He follows it up with a smooth press of both palms, right the way up George’s back, either side of his spine, and down his arms, and George melts under him. The cucumber scent darkens as it meets skin and sweat; Alex feels thirsty even as his mouth waters. He skims up the sides of George’s ribs next, even though George could obviously have reached there himself; lets the pads of his fingers linger in each hollow just a second. There’s not a part of George he hasn’t touched, but there are places he hasn’t memorised yet. It’s summer. They have time. 

When he glides his palms up to George’s neck, rubs the suncream with his fingertips right up to the base of his hairline, George shivers and stretches like a cat under him, pliant and satisfied, and it takes more of the weight of a bad half season off Alex’s shoulders than a dozen hours of sunbathing and swimming could. He presses his thumbs in at the top of George’s traps, revels in the open mouth moan he barely muffles against his arm. 

“Maybe I should take my shorts off after all,” George murmurs, smug - and there it is, there’s the fucking play. He wiggles a little, arse suddenly straining to escape his Hilfiger swim trunks.  

Alex swats his shoulder. “Hussy.” Just to be petty, he slides over George’s arse instead, wedges his knees against George’s ribs and lets some of his weight sit there against his mid-back. That’ll teach him not to ask for what he wants flat out. 

And then George shifts his arms - moves his head round, to give Alex a look, maybe, or just to get comfy - and his shoulders pull in. Just a fraction. Just enough to turn the long line of his spine into a gully between thick, strong muscle. Just enough to catch the head of Alex’s dick where it sat soft against one of his vertebrae, and squeeze.

George doesn’t even notice, that’s the thing. But Alex - Alex can see it, how fucking fast he’s getting hard at the feel, the look of it, the pink of him against the soft brown of George’s tan. He can imagine how it might-

No. No, that’s not- He’s heard of blowing someone’s back out, but it’s not literal, it’s an expression. It’s George last night, shiny eyed and weak all over, when Alex gave him fingers to suck and fed him ice cubes and mango slices and stayed inside him until he was hard again, because he could, because it’s summer and they have time. 

He’s not going fuck George’s back. He’s not. He’s- he can be normal about this. Even if it would be like when his ex-girlfriend would lie him flat on the floor, core tensed, and then run her pussy over his cock, slide back and forth until her thighs shook and she was dripping wet - actually dripping, fat drops he could hear hitting the skin of his stomach, his dick. Like that, but better, because it would be George stuck just taking it, feeling it, not even able to watch as Alex fucked up into the tight space between his shoulderblades.

He’s utterly hard now, dark and straining. A drop of precome appears. If he moved, it’d smear on George. He could rub it in. He could smear more. 

He could watch his come sluice down the whole long length of George’s spine, pool in the small of George’s back, or slide down to his arse, push it inside and fuck him there too, fuck every place he could be fucked until he was more inside George than out. 

He’d had an idle plan to finger George until he gaped for their last night on the island - not fisting, that was one of the words George couldn’t say, had blinked at rapidly when Alex had tried probably the world’s most ill-advised conversation on kink. But as close as he could get without George bolting. Four, and his mouth, until George cried, late enough into the night that he’d squirm on the jet home in the morning, empty and needy. Maybe then he’d finally let Alex fuck him mid-flight, whatever the pilot might hear. 

George shifts again, a tiny movement, but enough that Alex hisses at the change, the heat of a fresh centimetre of George’s skin under the head of him. Precome rolls down, splatters silently out of sight, in the gully of his spine. Alex closes his eyes for a breath.

“Georgie,” he starts. “Be a very good girl for me and stay still.”

[hitomisuzuya]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUZU, GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK🥳🎉🎉🎉 Btw more roommate Scara plz?👀💕Like, roommate Scaramouchii confessed to us while he's not sober. Maybe a little jealousy in that...?

Roommate! Scaramouche x fem!reader. Jealous, drunk love confession. What do I tag this as? I tagged it as smut because of one sentence.

I had a stressful day, so writing this is helping me unwind a little.

When it came to living with someone like Scaramouche, it came with constant parties. Tonight was no different.

Because it was. Childe was there. And Scaramouche swore he drank more every time he saw you smile up at him. Or laugh at something he said. Or how you blushed when he tucked some hair behind your ear.

He drank more every second you were devoting your attention to Childe instead of him. Why were you even smiling at him, anyways? He was all you needed because he was right here, not Childe.

Scaramouche's eyes watched you intently as you went about cleaning up after the party. He made a huffy noise. "Leave that shit, I'll get in the morning," He grumbled.

"No, it's okay," You shook your head, waving a hand at him when he tried to get up. You knew he was drunk. You'd indulged a little yourself, but near as much as he had.

"Stop, just stop," He snapped, making you look at him, startled.

"Scara, I'm just cleaning..what is the matter?" He'd been acting off all night, and you couldn't put your finger on why.

"No, just, ugh, that's not what I meant," Scaramouche pinched the bridge of his noise, and decided to try again. His head was spinning, and you just standing there looking beautiful like you always were.

He wanted you so badly.

And you were patient with him too, which most people weren't. You quietly waited for him to gather himself. "Why do you give you even give that ginger shithead any attention?"

"Childe?" You questioned, to which he nodded.

"Yeah, him," You could hear the strained jealousy in his slurred speech. Your cheeks flushed. Was he jealous that you had spent most of the evening with Childe while he sulked in the corner like a cat who got sprayed with water?

"You should've been spending that time with me. You should've been by my side all night and not his," The slurred words can tumbling out before he could hear them, inebriation giving him courage.

"Scara.." You began, but he quickly shushed you.

"Don't talk until I am finished," He snapped, his posture stiffening when you gave him a look. He knew that look, "please," He mumbled, hastily looking away.

"How should I put this?" Scaramouche murmured more to himself before looking at you again, "listen up because I am only going to say this once. I hated every time you smiled at him. I hated every time you looked at him. Because I want those smiles to be for only me."

Your heart was starting to pound in your chest. Where the words that you wanted to hear the most about to come from him, the very ones you'd been afraid to tell him? You didn't dare interrupt him because it could ruffle his feathers and make him shut down completely.

"I am in love with you," Saying it was easier than he expected. He finished what was left of his drink, peering at you from over the top of the glass. He sighed before you could speak. "Can you c'mere? I kind of can't stand up to come to you," His cheeks flushed, looking away shyly.

You put a hand on his cheek as you sat down next to him on the couch. "I hope you are going to either kiss me or tell me you love me to," Little did you know he was swallowing his heart in his throat to.

You did what you thought what was the better option first. You leaned in and kissed him. He was glad you did because it almost slipped out how he should outside your bedroom listening to you moan his name while you fingered yourself.

He sighed softly against your mouth. He was pleased with your answer. The kiss quickly turned heated and open mouthed as he pushed you down onto the couch.

"I'm in love with you to, Scara," You said when he reluctantly pulled away. His head immediately dropped into your neck, nuzzling against it as he sighed, content.

You blinked, confused when he didn't say anything. That was because he fell asleep with his face buried in your neck.

[dare-to-dm]

I've had multiple people express to me in the past month that "cats are basically impossible to train". And I just have to reply "skill issue", because it's not that hard, and you absolutely should do it to improve your quality of life and safety for both you and your pets.

I am by no means an expert, but here are the things I've managed to teach my cats:

not to jump on the kitchen counter

not to hover around exterior doors and try to slip through them when opened

not to scratch my furniture

not to chew on cords

not to walk on keyboards

how to snuggle me without hurting me

how to go through a door when I point at it (which is why it's funny to me that the phrase "like herding cats" is meant to describe something difficult)

Neither of my cats are food motivated either, so I can't use treats to teach them. One is motivated largely by pets, playtime and perches with good views. The other is most motivated by snuggles, getting brushed and sink drinks. He likes brushes and sink drinks so much that I actually taught him how to do a trick in order to get them (specifically to give head boops).

It's a matter of finding out what your cats like, what they don't like, and also finding replacements for their more destructive behaviors.

Spraying with a water bottle is a good deterrent for many cats because it annoys/upsets them without harming them. But that's not the case for all cats, so you need to get to know yours well. Something that both of my cats hate is being held, so I use "punishment hugs" to help teach them what I don't want them to do. Maybe your cat hates a particular noise or having their fur rubbed backwards or having air blown at them or something else.

As for replacements, there are some cat behaviors that simply need to be redirected. It's normal for them to want to scratch things, so you need to provide things that are okay for them to scratch in strategic locations. It's normal for them to want to jump on things and be up high, so you need to provide appropriate perches for them. It's normal for them to want to be as close as possible to you while you're working on your computer, so make a comfortable spot specifically for them nearby.

Like I said, I'm not an expert, but I have to say that the efforts I've made have made my cat owning experience a better one. Now if only I could train them not to throw up on the carpet, I would be perfectly satisfied (that's not a joke, if anyone has tips on how to do this I'd love to hear them).

[violetsiren90]

WIP Wednesday

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: drabble; established (secret) relationship; smut and fluff w/ a smidge of angst

Summary: Three months after you show up on your best friend's doorstep to find her brother instead, Changbin thinks it's time to let Nari know that things have changed.

Content warnings (for snippet only): 18+ (minors, DNI); showering together; allusions to sex; nudity; kissing and embracing; teasing (non sexual); mentions of reader's hair being washed; some minor anxiety and worries; fluff 🥰

Word Count: TBD.

“I have a confession to make,” his voice comes from over your shoulder and the patter of water against the shower floor.

You hum in response, eyes closed as his fingers lather shampoo against your scalp, filling the humid air with the scent of lemongrass and lavender. His other arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you close so that your bare back leans flush with his chest.

“…I told Chris.”

Your eyes open, droplets clinging to your lashes like dew.

“About us?”

His hand skims up your side and moves to cup your forehand and tilt it back as you feel the warm spray of the showerhead through your tresses. When the suds are gone he turns you around, hands on your hips. He looks like the cat who caught the canary as he nods and smirks, and you can’t help but smile yourself, even as you attempt to harness an expression of disapproval.

“How’d that happen?”

“He basically called me out on it. Said only one thing could make me so stupidly happy.”

“Mind-blowing sex?” you murmur, pressing your slick skin to his.

“You,” he corrects, his eyes glimmering as he leans down to press wet lips to yours. When he pulls away, you consider for a moment.

“You mean…he knew you liked me? Before?”

“You think my best buddy wouldn’t?”

A pang of guilt twists in your stomach at the remark. Your best friend is still very much in the dark about…well, everything where you and her brother were concerned. You chew your bottom lip as he helps you out of the shower. Absently reaching for the towel he holds out, you blink into focus as your hand clutches at air when it’s drawn back out of your reach.

“What…hey, why are you…?” you glance at Changbin, who is now holding the towel over his head, a victorious look on his features as his eyes rove your form.

“I like you naked. Five more minutes!” He whines with a chuckle as you swat his bulging pectoral and snatch the towel cradling his hips to wrap around your own damp body.

“You’re ridiculous,” you grumble with a smirk, but you adore it - how taken his is with every part of you. How he always wants to touch you, hold you, be close to you in any way he can. And how he never shies away from saying just exactly how you make him feel.

Though, you’ve noticed a shift in that particular respect over the last few weeks.

You watch him rumple the towel over his hair.

Sometimes he holds something back. You can always see it, lingering behind his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. You can feel it on the tips of his fingers and at the end of each sweet kiss. But it’s grown with time, and you feel the weight of it each time his eyes rest on you when he thinks you’re not aware.

You suppose it’s only natural that there should still be some mystery between you. Even after all the years you’ve known him, these were uncharted waters, and ones you’d strayed into more than a little clandestinely.

Keeping your relationship secret has had its benefits. It’s given you time to grow without the judgements and perceptions of others playing a part in your gentle discovery of one another. It’s also taken the pressure off of things - not having to answer questions from anyone you haven’t even had the chance to ask yourselves. And it was fucking sexy, to be honest, all the sneaking around. Inconvenient at times to be sure, but still deliciously indulgent to the rebel in you both.

But as you watch him open the mirrored cabinet to grab the toothbrush he keeps in your bathroom your heart skips a beat and you wonder if it’s time the jig is up.

You settle behind him, slipping your arms around his middle and resting the side of your head against his broad back.

“What did Chris have to say? About me and you?” you ask softly.

Changbin spits into the sink.

“He was stoked for us.”

You smile.

“He did ask if Nari knew.”

You sigh.

“I think she should by now,” he says, turning to speak over his shoulder. “I think it’s time.”

You hum into his skin.

“The longer we wait, the harder it’s going to be. A few months of privacy is alright, we’re still in the clear.”

He’s right. You know he is. You press your damp forehead into his back and sigh again.

“It’ll be fine,” he says around his toothbrush.

“She’s gonna freak,” you groan.

“She’ll get over it.”

You sincerely fucking hope so. The faucet squeaks shut and he turns, wrapping you in his big arms, to press a minty kiss to your lips.

“Stop fretting, beautiful,” his dark eyes sparkle down at you, “We’re gonna be okay. Nari too.”

Your heart melts as it settles when his mouth seeks yours again. Yeah. You could face all the troubles of the world, in fact, if you were allowed to keep holding him like this.

~To be continued~