#Shocking Sight
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defensenow · 6 months ago
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izzystizzys · 5 months ago
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There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
#fox forged palpatine’s signature is how it got past him#it’s not like anyone can admit to that considering the backlog of official reports he’s been forced to do it on#‘come for me and we’re both going down bitch’ fox says#triple dog dare#fox himself is in such a constant state of sleep deprivation delirium that a sexy speeder wash sounded fair enough#or not worse than anything else that happens on the daily on coruscant anyways#padmé’s handmaidens make it rain with whoops of joy and take a commemoration selfie with all the commanders#‘wait. where’s kit?’ obi wan asks halfway through the meeting ‘wasn’t he supposed to land on coruscant an hour ago?’#‘oh No’ says the council collectively#‘coruscant daily breaking news: residents are horrified by half-naked nautolan streaking through the city apparently making for thr senate’#‘wait that appears to be JEDI MASTER KIT FISTO-‘#it’s very good advertising it turns out#the vod who suggested it (nuisance) gets promoted against his will#the remaining clone commanders have to be restrained first from dogpiling civilians launching their credits at corries#‘BUT GENERAL THEY’RE OBJECTIFYING FOX’ wolffe cries to plo koon#then from murdering several senators aides and the chancellor when certain records surface#‘this is all public knowledge??’ fox asks very confused and still dripping water under six robes his ori’vode launched at him on sight#‘i don’t understand where this is coming from?’#cody is too busy making slitting throat motions at anyone who looks at his vod’ika too long to bother responding#palpatine chokes on a raisin in shock and dies#‘BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: CHANCELLOR EXPLODES IN A BLACK CLOUD AT SIGHT OF WASHBOARD ABS’#and thus the galaxy is foxed#i’m leaving that typo#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#coruscant guard#jedi high council#mace windu#oh mace my beloved i am so sorry but it’s so funny putting you in Situations#sw tcw fic ideas
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bet-on-me-13 · 1 year ago
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Fright Knight adopts Danny
So.
Lets say that Danny had his Accident way earlier than in Canon, let's say when he was 6.
He becomes a Halfa instantly and is transported to the Realms. He wanders around aimlessly as he tries to find a way back to his home.
He is scared and alone, and can't find a safe place to rest without the random monsters of the Realms attacking him, so when he finds a scary looking Castle he decides that it's better than nothing and sneaks in.
Unfortunately, he is followed by a Monster and has to defend himself. He quickly grabs the nearest weapon he can find, a cool looking green sword, and tries to defend himself.
He nearly manages to beat the Monster, but the sword is knocked out of his hands and he is pinned to the ground. Suddenly, the Monster cries out in pain, and Space itself warps and contorts as the Monster is sucked away to some other location (sucked into the nightmare dimension)
Where the Monster used to be standing was now a 7 Ft Tall, extremely intimidating, Knight holding the green sword from earlier.
Danny, injured and out of energy, just collapses and hopes that the knight won't kill him.
...
Fright Knight didn't know what to expect when he felt his sword be pulled from it's resting place.
Maybe Plasmius had tried stealing it again? Or some random Magician had stolen it for Power? Or maybe some Blob Ghost had knocked it over while wandering about?
Whatever the case, he wasn't expecting a Baby to he the one using his Sword. And not just a Ghost who had formed recently, it was a Literal Baby who had just become a Ghost.
He didn't expect to become a Dad like this, but he wouldn't complain either
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levemetal · 3 months ago
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Day 2: Timeloop / Xiao Qi and Jiu Ge
I am cringe and I am not even free
Feel free to reuse this idea but 24 hours are not enough for me to finish an entire comic. I could have taken the simpler prompt but nOOOOOO timeloop is too tempting. Past me why are we like this
#svsss#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#qijiuweek2024#the basic idea for this was that both yqy and sj remember each loop#the loop started after their individual deaths in PIDW and resets them to close to disciple era#aka the time Yue Qi was in the caves and SJ presumably got away from the Qiu household or was already with Wu Yanzi#I imagine the first few loops they qi deviated so hard from the shock that they didnt even make it like 1 hour in the loop before beingrese#and then had a few loops just fucking around and finding out#eventually they realise that the other has the memories of all loops and so begins the talks and figuring how tf they can get out of this#maybe they resolve their issues with the promise or not your choice tbh#they try different plans and methods#but they keep dying (read: SJ keeps dying first and YQY either dies or sewerslides not soon after) and getting reset with no end in sight#until the last pages where the svsss timeline begins#SJ got replaced with SY and the system isn't letting YQY join him in death or smth nor letting him do anything about SY being there instead#And due to their closeness from being immensily tired from all the loops#YQY notices it immediately but can't do anything about it#the bonus for SY is that this timeline was very kind to LBH & co - 79 figured by now that keeping him in the sect and happy was their best#bet at staying alive - or well at least for longer#I'll continue this storyline in one of the future prompts of this qijiu week#btw the one with the cliff is just the whoopsie daisy timeline where SJ accidentally falls into the Abyss trying to keep LBH from falling i#79 had a bit of a good laugh about that one#cw death#cw violence#cw blood#cw angst
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feelingtheaster99 · 7 months ago
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The HORRIBLE beat of silence when Kipperlilly kills Buddy… just the whole table with their jaws dropped, all in this terrible sense of grief and surprise
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zombiekitty33 · 1 year ago
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whos this fuckin guy
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robotbeetle · 8 months ago
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I asked my sister (who knows nothing about bg3) if she would smash or pass on the bg3 companions. Her responses were so good so i thought id share
Wyll - Pass, he’s seems like he’s too focused on being a hero that he forgets to be a person.
Shadowheart - Smash but leave very quickly afterwards. She’s giving condescending girl boss. Looks like she has either mommy or daddy issues
Gale - …smash? Hes giving dilf but it seems like he has to try very hard to put the D in dilf
Lae’zel - pass, she has crazy in those eye. She seems like a girly girl but when she’s someone’s girlfriend she looks like she can be a bit much… like lavender brown from harry potter
Astarion - smash I suppose. Hes sort of giving chasimatic on the outside but angsty inside. His angsty part would make him pathetic but his whiny parts would be his most endearing. Would a good twink in the right context. Like a greek hero that keeps getting women and goddesses to fall for him. (Goes on to compare him to odysseus)
Karlach - shes giving herbo, shes very energetic shes very cheery. Pass, she seems like she would be a lot in bed. She seems like the type of person who loves giving hugs but is too aggressive with it.
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dameferre · 21 days ago
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here’s the thing. i hate everyone who didn’t vote for kamala harris, and i literally don’t care why. fewer people voted for trump than in 2020. so where the Fuck was the turnout from everyone else
whether they voted for trump, voted for a third party candidate, or didn’t vote at all it doesn’t make a fucking difference to me because it doesn’t make a difference to him. to the republicans. to the world we have all woken up in.
i don’t care what holier than thou, short sighted, stupid, selfish reasons people had for however they chose to or not to vote, if it wasn’t for harris then they’re responsible and i fucking hate them with every fragment of righteous anger in my body. i hope they lie awake at night thinking about how their action or inaction put so many more people in very real danger. in america, in palestine, in mexico, in every country the us has a chokehold on. they made the world worse and hurt everyone i love
and i literally don’t care what the democrats have or haven’t done btw!! they were the better, safer, kinder option and now we’re all fucking screwed. politicians are never gonna be exactly what we want it’s about doing All The Good We Can. it’s about recognising what’s at stake and swallowing our fucking pride and doing what needs to be done and as soon as it’s finished rolling up our sleeves and fighting the good fight that’s so much fucking easier to fight with democrats in office.
also i genuinely wanna know how ‘sending a message to the democrats’ works when they’re not Fucking In Office. & how’s the moral high ground taste you stupid fucks. the democrats get paid to look the other way when people are at risk bc it benefits their interests? to actively harm people with their inaction? congratulations you did it for free.
i hope they find a way to forgive themselves because i sure as fuck will never forgive them
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just-another-colin-kinnie · 6 months ago
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Zane’s greatest fear is losing his humanity And they did That to him in the movie
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hairscare · 4 months ago
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franklyimissparis · 10 months ago
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“if paul was bisexual/queer why wouldn’t he just come out by now?” why WOULD he tbh 😭😭 like idk i just think at 81 years old it’s probably not something PR man paul particularly feels the need to share publicly
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strawberrystepmom · 4 months ago
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i so rarely wear athleisure (leggings specifically) in public anymore but i am today bc sick but i just caught the sight of my own ass in the mirror and ma'am....MA'AM.............maybe u need to keep that thing put away
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elishamanning · 5 months ago
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19 June 2024
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theincrediblemoonchild · 4 months ago
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I once again present to you the yumas of chapter 244 (favorite panel beneath read more)
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i would also like the jury to know that the second image is saved as "family photo"
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jamespottersmixtape · 1 year ago
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september 12: iced 1,742 words @rosekiller-microfic
Barty really needs caffeine. Evan works at a small coffee shop.
It's an incredibly average Tuesday when Barty manages to make a fool out of himself and fall in love on the same day.
Well, the whole thing isn't as dramatic as he makes it out to be, but he isn't known for being subtle with his retellings.
Barty had thought he'd be fine—running on two hours of sleep was perfectly reasonable for sitting through a 3 hour business lecture, right?
Did he mention that he was a fool?
Whether by luck or fate or the incessant blaring of Barty's alarm clock, he had managed to crawl out of bed early enough for his 9am class—calculations and formulas and useless information on the status of the economy still swirling through his brain from the night before.
However, what his sleep deprived brain had failed to remember was that Barty lived off caffeine. Nothing would get done in a day if he hadn't downed at least 2 cups of coffee or the strongest black tea he could find. Dorcas always told him it was an addiction; he never listened.
So at 8:50 he trudged across campus and sat down heavily in the back of the lecture hall, mentally preparing himself for 3 torturous hours of his professor's monotonous voice, with absolutely no caffeine in his system. A mistake on his part.
It wasn't until he awoke at 11:55, the feeling of someone nudging his shoulder enough to rouse him from a dreamless sleep, that he finally realized this mistake. He had slept through the entire fucking lecture.
And it wasn't him dozing off halfway through, fighting diligently not to nod off. No, as soon as his professor began speaking Barty's head was on the desk, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he slept soundly on the uncomfortable wood. Frankly, he was mortified.
That brings him to now, briskly walking through the sea of students milling about between classes, his finger scrolling quickly through the selection of local coffee shops.
He still has two more classes, there's no way he'll survive without something helping him stay awake.
His eyes scan his phone screen, looking at distances and reviews until he settles on a place not too far from the North corner of campus—Twin Flame Coffee & Co.
He supposes it'll do.
Barty arrives in record time, his long legs carrying him faster than average. The building is quaint but lively, cream walls with colorful chairs out front—Barty's surprised he hadn't found it sooner.
When he pushes open the door a small bell rings overhead. There's not too many people, a few students with their laptops and an old couple sharing a pastry, but there's someone ordering and he can't see the register.
He scans the menu just long enough to make sure they serve the drink he wants, and only looks down when it's his turn.
He means to step forward but the movement gets halted as soon as his eyes lock on the person working. In front of him is a boy about his age, wispy blonde curls and bright eyes, a winning smile directed right at Barty as he waits patiently for him to approach. He has freckles scattered loosely across his face and neck, disappearing beneath the tank-top he's wearing. Is that even work appropriate? he thinks.
There are at least a dozen tattoos littering his arms—nowhere near the amount Barty has, but enough—and his skin looks soft enough that biting it would leave a mark. Suddenly Barty's throat feels impossibly dry.
"How can I help you?" the boy says, and oh Jesus fucking Christ he sounds like heaven too. Barty is a goner.
Suddenly his brain is on high alert, catching up with the fact that he's been staring at this guy for at least 5 seconds. He shakes his head and approaches the register, his legs shakier than before.
The boy's smile is unwavering, yet he seems amused at Barty's slow uptake. Barty swears his eyes flick up and down Barty's figure, but quickly pushes that thought aside.
"Hi," Barty says flatly. He's lucky his voice doesn't crack but god, could he sound any more unapproachable?
"Hi," the boy says, levity clear on his face now. "What can I get started for you?"
"Uh, can I just have a large latte?"
"Large latte," the boy repeats, punching something onto a screen. "Anything else?"
"No, that's it," Barty replies. "Thank you," he adds, trying his hardest to remain calm.
He tries to smile but it definitely looks strange. Their eyes meet briefly and he has to physically restrain himself from doing something very fucking stupid. Like telling him he's pretty. Or begging for his number.
Yeah, he's fucked.
"Okay, can I have a name for that?"
"Um..." can he even remember his own name? Probably not. He wants to learn his name but can't see a name tag. Damn. "Barty," he finally gets out. "My name is Barty."
The boy laughs, his face becoming even lovelier in the process. Clearly, Barty's repeated blundering is funny to him. "Alright Barty, that'll be ready on the side for you," the boy flashes him another smile. Barty pulls out his wallet to pay, disappointed at the short interaction, but as he's inserting his card he notices the boy grabbing a cup for hot drinks.
"Shit, sorry," Barty starts, unprepared for any further conversation. "Did I say hot? I meant iced. Large iced latte."
The boy's hand stills from where it was prepared to write Barty's order. "Oh! That's fine, it's the same price."
He grabs a clear plastic cup instead, scribbling on it before passing it to a girl with similar colored hair. They look related, Barty thinks.
Barty pulls his card out, payment finished. This is where he's supposed to walk away and wait for his drink like any other customer. But, well, there's no one behind him, and he really wants to find out this guy's name.
"Sorry about that," Barty scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. His stomach swoops every time he looks at the boy's face. He really is gorgeous. "It's been a weird day."
"Hard classes?" the boy asks, placing his hands on the counter, drumming his fingers.
Barty's eyes widen, taken aback that he was asked a question. He clears his throat. "Nah, not really. I slept through my entire first lecture."
"Wow." the boy deadpans.
"Yeah," Barty huffs out a small laugh. "3 whole hours of sleep. At least it was a good nap," he shrugs.
The boy laughs again, louder this time. Barty really wouldn't mind making it happen again. "3 hours? I guess you really need this latte."
Barty groans, rubbing his hand over his face. "Tell me about it. I forgot to make coffee this morning."
The boy purses his lips, "Glad we could help then."
Barty stands there awkwardly for a moment. He wants to stay and talk, he wants to know everything there is to know about this boy—his name, for starters. Ten minutes ago he was blissfully oblivious to his existence, but he's enlightened now, and there's no way he's forgetting him.
Maybe he's a fool, it's been said before.
"I've uh– it's my first time here. It's nice, I can't believe I've never seen this place before."
The boy hums, nodding. "Well, my sister and I," he gestures to the girl making drinks, "We only opened this place a few weeks ago. It's gotten a fair bit of traction, so that's been nice. But it's new, so don't worry, you haven't been missing out for too long," he shoots Barty a wink and he swears his heart nearly stops.
"Oh," Barty chuckles, his voice higher than normal. "Well maybe I'll come back then." He's testing the waters, trying to read if this guy even cares about his existence outside of an obligation to his job.
"I hope so, would be a shame if this was the last time I saw you," the boy says, leaning forward on the counter. And what? That had to be flirting, right? Right? The boy's eyes rake over his torso in a much more obvious manner, taking time to fully appreciate his appearance.
Barty wants to say something but he finds he's too incoherent to string words together. "Yes," he says lamely. "Yeah, yes. I'll definitely be back."
"I'm looking forward to it," the boy replies, flashing him another grin.
"Here," the girl—his sister—says, passing her brother Barty's drink. The pair seem to have an entire conversation with their eyes, never saying a word out loud. At the end of the exchange, the boy lets out a frustrated sigh. She offers Barty a quick smile before turning swiftly on her heel and disappearing behind a curtain.
The boy holds his drink out. "Here's your iced latte."
Barty's cheeks flush at the reminder of his mistake, taking the coffee and straw from his grasp. If their fingers brush and Barty's face glows pink, nobody has to know.
Barty sticks the straw in the cup, taking a quick sip and practically moaning right in front of the poor man. "Fuck, that's good coffee. You'll be lucky if you don't see me here everyday."
"The coffee's the only reason, huh? It's that good?" the boy asks, raising an eyebrow.
Barty smirks, shrugging as he takes another sip. "Among other things," he says, noticing a faint blush creep up the boy's neck and cheeks. The color reminds him of a rose.
The bell above the door rings faintly, signaling a new customer. Barty spares a quick glance at his phone, the time signaling he only has half an hour before his next class. He reluctantly takes a step back towards the door. "I should probably head out."
"It was nice meeting you Barty," the boy tells him, offering another dazzling smile. Barty has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling back like an idiot.
"You too. I'll see you around, uh..." he hesitates, praying to all that is holy that this infuriatingly attractive boy will finally give him his name.
He rolls his eyes, but Barty can tell it's amiable. "Evan," he fills in. "My name is Evan."
Barty can't help it, a painfully lovestruck grin splits across his face. Evan.
Evan, Evan, Evan.
He likes the way it sounds in his head. Likes it even more when he tells him, "I'll see you around Evan," and walks out the door.
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columboscreens · 2 years ago
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