#She'd probably just cry for me to come home
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daisukino · 11 months ago
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I wish I could call my dog and check how she's doing
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago
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#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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moonchildstyles · 7 days ago
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I know angel is innocent, but do you think that if Harry had to go away for business or family or something, that she might 🥸 you know.... 🥸🥸 ˢᵉˣᵗ ʰᶦᵐ
wordcount: 9.3k+
—————
(Y/N) knuckled at her eye, attempting to get the sleep out so she could see Harry clearly. It would be the last time she'd see him for the next week, she wanted to remember every detail. 
"Stop," Harry murmured, gently grasping her wrist and pulling her hand from her eye. "You're gonna hurt yourself doing that, love." 
"Sorry," she yawned, blinking up at him. It was way too early to be awake, but she wasn't going to let him leave without a proper send off. 
"'S alright," he sighed, shifting his hold on her wrist until she was gathered against his chest. He dropped a kiss to her head, voice muffled against her hair when he said, "Jus' don't forget while 'm gone, 'kay?" 
"I'll try," she relented, keening into the warmth radiating from his chest, "What time do you land?" 
"It'll be a little after nine, I think. Y'think you'll be awake then?" 
"Maybe," she sighed, "I've got to feed Evie, so probably." 
He hugged her a bit tighter at the mention of his first born. "Will y'send me a picture when y'do? I miss her already." 
"I will," (Y/N) promised, pulling away from where her cheek had nestled against his shoulder. Blinking up at him, she told herself not to cry when he matched her gaze. It wasn't fair that he looked so cozy and warm, pliant with his own sleep, and was planning on leaving her all by herself for the next week. "Will you send me a picture of you when you land? Because I miss you already." 
It was a silly request, one that was supposed to be lighthearted—for the both of them—but only served to make her bottom lip quiver by the time the words hung between them. A pout crossed Harry's features. Dropping his bag, his now free hand landed on the back of her head, cradling her snug against him. 
"Baby," he crooned, "I miss y'too, you know that. We've never been apart like this before, have we?" Only a pathetic shake of her head was offered. "But we'll be alright. Jus' call me when y'need me, and I'll answer. You might even like having the place to yourself for a little—won't even want me to come home." 
Her eyes watered at his teasing allegation. "I'll always want you to be home with me." 
A soft sigh escaped from his chest. "Oh, love. I'll be home soon, I promise. 'S only a week." 
"I know," she blubbered, "Just wish I could go with you." 
"But you're being responsible and going to class and studying instead. Not something to be sad about at all." He pet his hand down the back of her head, gentle fingers brushing the back of her neck and warming her skin. "Besides, y'don't want to be at these conferences. They're boring." 
"Then why are you going?" If they were so boring, maybe she could convince him to stay in bed with her for the whole week instead of working.
"Gotta be on top of everything, love," he said, just as he had every other time she asked why this conference was so important, "Can't be the best tattooer in the world if I never go and see what's new." 
She deflated. He was using her words against her, the praises she would mean whether or not he went to these conferences and conventions. 
"'S gonna be alright, darling. Really," he insisted, his tone growing serious as he cupped the nape of her neck and pulled her back just enough to get a look at her. "I'll miss you, but I'll be home before y'know it. Then we can spend the whole weekend together before I go back to work." 
That did sound nice. Especially since she was more than sure she would be able to convince him to order in and eat in bed with her. 
"Okay," she relented, voice a bit watery, "Love you, H." 
His features grew soft. Without the aid of his signature eyeliner, there were only soft edges to his eyes, matching the soft curl of his lips. With his hair pulled back, she could see every plane of his face where she was used to seeing a stern edge or cutting line. But not when it came to her; everything was soft when he looked at his love.
"I love you too, (Y/N)," he murmured, ducking his head to press a simple kiss to her lips. "I'll text y'when I get to the airport, but please go back to sleep if you're still tired." 
(Y/N) chased after her, catching him in another kiss, this one a bit harder and more urgent. Their last kiss to be shared for the next week, and she was going to make it worth it. Even if she did start feeling her eyes begin to burn and her nose warm. 
His hand on the back of her neck shifted until he was cradling her cheek in his palm. He let her take what she needed, slotting his lips to hers with her bottom one between his two. It was sweet and giving, the way she sank into him, eager to get as much of her fill as she could manage in the short time frame. 
With his head much clearer, Harry drew away first, offering a smattering of pecking kisses before leaving the warmth of her presence. 
"Gonna make me miss my flight if you're not careful," he teased, offering one more press of his lips to the bridge of her nose. 
(Y/N) canted her head. That wasn't such a bad idea, actually. If he missed his flight, it would be way too much work to reschedule and possibly update his accommodations—
"No, I know what you're thinking, love," Harry smiled, shaking his head as he interrupted her line of thought, "I've still got to go." 
She made a show of deflating, taking the route of attempting to make him laugh instead of giving into the lump forming in her throat. 
"Fine," she sighed, as if he had punctured all of the air from her, "This time, I'll let you go. But you might not be so lucky the next time." 
"So generous, my lovebug is," Harry murmured, hugging her extra tight as he fit his face into her neck. "I love you so much, baby. I'll let y'know when I land." 
"Okay," she whispered, not trusting her voice to go any louder, "I love you, too." 
He pulsed his arms around her for a lingering moment before doing the hard part of untangling from her limbs. She felt decidedly colder once he left the space of her bubble. (Y/N) could only wrap her arms around her middle to keep herself from reaching for him.
She watched as he slung his bag over his shoulder. The roses on his neck bristled as he stood to the full of his height, hand resting on the doorknob. 
"I'll see you soon, baby," he promised, a sad smile on his lips, "Promise." 
"See you soon, H." 
(Y/N) followed him to the garage, watching as he backed his car out and onto the street. She waved at him on the off chance he might be looking at her, until he most definitely was too far away to catch even a speck of her. Getting out of the chill, she made her way back inside and to their shared bedroom.
 It was then, with her head on his pillow, the sheets scented of him with Harry's kitten at her feet, that she let her tears fall. 
While it wasn't the waterfall she feared she was going to shed when he was still here, it was enough to heat her skin and slick down her cheeks in rivers. She missed him already, not used to being in this bed without her Harry at her side. 
Having heard her sniffling and the incessant wiping of her sleeve over her cheeks, Evie left her post at (Y/N)'s feet and found the perfect spot to curl up right on the pillow. With her pink nose, she sniffed over (Y/N)'s tear-stained cheeks, whiskers tickling her skin. 
"Hi, Evie," (Y/N) blubbered, "Do you miss your daddy already too?" 
Evie didn't do anything other than deposit a soft lick to the tip of (Y/N)'s nose. A small smile curled (Y/N)'s salted lips. 
"At least we have each other." 
Evie chirped at that.
—————
"And, what did she say after that?" 
Patting her moisturizer into her skin, (Y/N) let out a heavy sigh as she dropped her eyes to her phone screen. Illuminated in the pixels was Harry's tired face, free of any eyeliner with his hair pulled back and a headband keeping the stray strands from brushing his eyes. A white fluffy pillow was held to his chest, taking up the bottom third of the view, his chin resting on the edge as he looked at the camera. At her. 
"Nothing. She didn't say anything the rest of the shift. It was creepy." 
Harry barked out a laugh at her words. "Not even to you?" 
"No," (Y/N) affirmed, "Even when I said bye before I left, she just nodded at me." 
At this, Harry's lips thinned. "That's not very nice. 'M sorry she acted like that today, love. She didn't hurt your feelings or anything, right?" 
The shake of her head had his features loosening in relief. "No, I'm okay. I just don't really want to go in tomorrow if she's also going to be there; I'll have to hide in the autobiographies if she is." 
"That might be fun, though," Harry started, interrupting himself with a yawn, "Easy work."
"Too easy," she pointed out, wiping the remainder of the lotion on her hands, "I'll fall asleep." 
"That doesn't sound so bad," he murmured, his own eyes falling closed in a lingering blink. 
Picking up her phone, (Y/N)'s lips puffed into a pout. She had been looking forward to this evening's FaceTime, the same way she had been the last three days, but it didn't feel right to keep him on the phone when he was so clearly tired. 
"Do you want me to let you go, H? I don't want to keep you up." 
He was quick to blink his eyes open, forcing them wide and awake as he stitched his attention on her. "No, no, 's alright. I want to talk to you, baby." 
Her own lips curled into a soft grin as she started back to their bedroom. Evie was already in her new favorite spot—right where her daddy usually slept. "I want to talk to you too, but I know you had a busy day. We can talk tomorrow." 
"But I miss you today." 
When she laid her head down on her pillow, phone in hand, the view on her screen framed an illusion that they were sharing a bed. Only a pillow between them. 
"I miss you, too," she murmured ardently, "But I feel bad." 
"Don't feel bad," he insisted, denying as if there weren't bags under his eyes, "It really wasn't that busy of a day—jus' lots of talking." 
"One of your least favorite things," she pointed out as his eyes fell closed once more.
"Not when 's you." 
At that, (Y/N) paused. Her heart pattered in her chest, blood rushing through her veins with heart-shaped cells. He was too good at arguing with her like this. 
When she didn't immediately answer, she saw his eyes open. Half-lidded, they landed directly on her. He could easily tell just what kind of reaction he was drawing out of her, her face an open book just for him to read. 
"Did I win?"
A sheepish nod was his answer. 
Hunkering down into the fluff of his hotel bed, Harry let a lazy smile cover his features. If she squinted her eyes just so, the illusion worked well enough to imagine she was lying in bed next to him—a small version of him, but Harry nonetheless. 
"I'll stay with y'until y'fall asleep, love," he murmured, just voice a comforting rumble through her phone. Next time, she decided, she was going to have her headphones on, wishing to hear every note of his voice. 
"Thank you," she peeped, grateful even if a little guilty that he was going to stay awake when he was clearly so tired. 
Through his cracked eyes, she could see affection swimming through the shattered green of his iris. "Tomorrow's going to be better, love. I know it," he insisted, broken up by a short yawn, "And if 's not, 'm catching a flight home." 
A huff of laughter fell across the cover of her pillow. "Now you're going to make me hope I have a bad day." 
Harry's grin only widened. Dimples deeply dented his cheeks. "Don't say that," he pushed, though he didn't sound particularly convincing. 
Looking at him, even made of speakers and pixels, she doubted she would have an easy time falling asleep tonight. Not when she had him right here with her, as close as he could be. 
—————
Posing in the mirror, (Y/N) tugged the end of her skirt to flare it around her thighs. She snapped a photo of herself in the mirror, her phone partially covering her face in the reflection. 
Once the photo generated on her phone screen, (Y/N) relaxed from her pose and took a look at the shot. With a chunky, slouchy cream sweater covering her top—a borrowed piece, of course, from the opposite side of the closet—she had taken a leap and chosen to wear a skirt despite the chilly autumn weather outside. The night before, when she had picked out this outfit, she had been unsure, knowing she would undoubtedly be freezing on campus with only a skirt covering to the mid of her thighs. It had been Harry's idea to put on a pair of hose or stockings at the least to help cover her a little. 
(Leggings had been his first suggestion, and she had shot that down immediately).
Sending him a photo now, with a pair of barely used stockings pulled as high up her thighs as she could manage, was her test to see if she looked as silly as she felt. The skirt thankfully was covering the scalloped lace lining the top of the stockings, but she felt a bit scandalous with the pieces on her legs. 
Attaching the photo to a message, she typed out: 
     do you think this looks silly? i don't know if i still have the hose from my halloween costume but i'll look for it if you think that will work better!!
Pressing sending, she turned her attention to her hair instead of watching for Harry's response. All she had time for was to reach for a sparkly white headband before her phone buzzed against the countertop. From the preview, she saw that he had loved the image she sent before sending back a couple of texts in rapid succession. 
     Baby, you look gorgeous! 
     Is that my sweater? You should keep it.
     Don't change, I think you look perfect!
     But why can't I see your face? :( I miss you. 
A soft smile covered her features as she scrolled over the handful of messages. Taking a moment, she slid her headband over her head, pushing stray hairs out of her face. It felt a little silly, but she took another photo of herself, this one only of her smiling face before pressing send once more. 
Before she could even type out her gratitude for his previous messages, another handful were delivered.
     Baby! There you are!
     You look so pretty!
     Is that your new lipgloss? 
     I love when you push your hair back like that. Will you do that for the next time I get to take you out?
(Y/N) felt like she needed to be lying on her stomach, kicking her feet in the air while she twirled her hair when she read these over. Even from miles and miles away, she was not immune to the way he spoke to her. 
     thank you h🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 you're so sweet i miss you too!!!!
     i'm just worried that they're going to fall over my legs and then people will see the lace:( 
The delivered receipt never even popped up, Harry reading her messages as soon as they were sent. 
     I think you'll be okay, love. Your skirt is long enough that if they fall little, I don't think anyone will see. 
     If it would make you feel a little better, you can take one of my coats and use it to cover up if you feel like you need it. 
Truthfully, she was going to take one of his jackets with her today anyway, whether or not he gave her permission. 
     oooh that would be perfect!!!!! thank youuuuuuuu
     Of course. Stay warm today, darling. I'll call you when I get back to the hotel tonight. 
Glancing at the time, she was sure Harry would have just exited the tube and started making his way to the convention with the rest of the boys from the shop. She would have to keep it together and not text him every thought she had during the day. 
     talk to you later!!!! have fun love u
     Love you too, angel.
She couldn't wait to see him say those words to her in person. Only three more days. 
—————
From where it was tucked away under her thigh, (Y/N)'s phone buzzed. Today's lecture was an easy one to be distracted from, even if it probably wasn't the best idea to pay attention to her phone instead of the slides at the front of the room. 
Nonetheless, she reached for her phone under her skirt and glanced at the screen. 
Harry had sent a photo. 
A pinch appeared between her brows as she unlocked the screen, swiping on the notification. 
Their text thread was now made up of a photo of Harry in the bathroom at the conference center. It was a shot of his reflection in the mirror, where he was goofily posing to mimic the one she had sent over that morning. His tattooed hand was out at his side, pinching an invisible skirt to show off the flare.
     What do you think?  
(Y/N) had to choke back a laugh at the sight. 
     super cute h
     grab a jacket in case you get cold though
When he didn't immediately reply, (Y/N) tucked her phone away, smile now on her features as she pretended to pay attention to the lecturer before her. 
She was going to have to send that picture to Sarah and Mitch.
—————
(Y/N) checked the time, her expression falling when she saw just how little time had passed since the last time she looked. 
It had already been an hour since she said goodnight to Harry over the phone, but it was still too early to justify climbing into bed. Especially since she had taken a nap when she made it home from work. 
Over the phone, Harry had seemed so sleepy, recounting his long day touring the conference before getting a chance to finally sit down and give her a call when he made it back to his hotel room. She could have kept talking to him for hours, in love with the sound of his voice rumbling through the phone, but he seemed so exhausted. She didn't want to keep him up just because she missed him.
That left her alone, traveling back and forth to her closet. Different outfits were bundled in her arms each trip, the goal to be finding something cute to wear for her presentation on Monday. Without Harry here to soothe her for another couple of days—"two more sleeps," they had said on the phone—this was her only chance at distracting herself from the slides she already memorized. If she felt pretty, she thought she might be able to get through the whole thing a little easier. 
Playing music from the heart shaped speaker she stole from their bathroom, she bopped about the room, laying out different options on the bed. All of them were pretty cute, she thought, just... not right? She wasn't sure why, but none of them seemed to fit the vision she had for herself on Monday. 
Would the pink skirt come across as childish? The sweater with bows laced down the sleeves as unprofessional? But the fitted, dark green sweater she'd pulled didn't really feel like herself—at least not the version of herself that she would feel the most comfortable being when she was already going to be at her most uncomfortable in front of her whole class. 
Though it sounded like a lot of work, she figured she would only know for sure if she tried on each prospect. Even if the idea sounded even less fun when she remembered Harry wasn't going to be there to give his candy-coated opinion and tell her every sweet nothing he could think of. 
At the very least, it would fill her time and check off a task she knew she wasn't going to want to do when Harry returned home on Sunday. 
—————
Falling back onto their bed, (Y/N) didn't feel any more accomplished even with the skirt flaring around her body. She still needed to change out of this particular outfit—the one with the bow sweater layered over a silky blush dress and the same stockings that had treated her well earlier in the week—but she was too tired to do so at the moment. Instead, she pulled open her camera roll and looked at the trio of photos she took in her options. 
Even if she knew she wasn't going to gain any kind of response until the morning, (Y/N) still attached all three to a new message to Harry. He could be the deciding vote (even if she really just wanted him to pick the outfit she currently had on). 
Despite knowing he was asleep—the time being now a full hour and a half since saying goodnight—she still lagged for a moment, waiting for the receipt to change to read. Unsurprised, she locked her phone after a minute when her message stayed on delivered. 
(Y/N) pushed her phone to the side as she forced herself up from where she laid on her bed, a heavy sigh leaving her chest. She needed to get into her pajamas, then wash her face, perform her skincare routine, get her hair in shape for bedtime, and then probably feed Evie again and have a snack herself, and, if he wasn't too tired, she could start the new book she dow—
Her phone buzzed. 
Pausing where she stood, feet bare other than the stockings wrapped around her legs. She knew it was probably Sarah, confirming their plans for the following way. But, (Y/N) still, just a little, hoped it might be Harry. 
Without letting herself get too excited, she reached for her phone amongst the tufts of her comforter. 
A single notification sat at the bottom of her lock screen. 
     Harry🖤
She didn't even attempt to hold back the smile that bloomed over her features. He was supposed to be asleep. 
Sliding the notification open, their text thread opened up. Her photos took up the majority of the screen though her eyes went right to his message. 
     Are you still in the last outfit?
A little less... affectionate than she had been hoping for, but a response nonetheless. 
     i am why ! 
     i thought you were asleep 
Another message near instantly came through. 
     I'm having a harder time falling asleep than I thought. 
     I really like that last one, love. Are you wearing those stockings? 
She frowned at his explanation. She didn't like the idea of Harry tossing and turning all by himself in a hotel room. Maybe, she'd try to help him get to sleep. 
     yessss but i did find those ones that i got for my halloween costume so i can wear those instead if you think that's better for the presentation 
     Can I see? 
(Y/N)'s frown deepened. 
     the other ones???? 
It wasn't a fun set to pull up her legs since the material was so fragile and thighs when they made it up to her thighs, but she would manage if wanted to see—
     No, the stockings. 
     You're still wearing them right, love? 
Her cheeks warmed. Maybe it was the way she was reading it in her head—with the deep rumble of his voice, drawling and heavy with his eyes on her—but she swore there was a little more to this than attempting to help her pick an outfit. 
In lieu of typing out a response, she turned her camera on. She debated finding her way back to bed or standing before the mirror once more. Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, she figured the mirror was the safer choice. At least this way she could offer a full view. 
Bunching the skirt of the dress in her hand, she snapped a photo of the stockings tight around her legs, the white lace showing. There was no pattern in the netting, only the sheer white mesh, the material offering a satin finish over her skin. Nothing special, really. 
The photo sent, never reaching delivered status before being read by Harry. Though no immediate response was sent back.
(Y/N) waited as moments passed before a bubble filled with three little dots popped up in the corner of the screen. 
     You look so pretty, love. I wish I was there with you. 
     Do you have anything else pretty on under your outfit?
She blinked at the message. Okay, so she hadn't been reading him wrong, even if she was a little surprised at how quickly he was leading her down this path. 
Her fingers hovered over the offered keyboard. Truthfully, she wasn't wearing a pretty matching set the way she was sure Harry was picturing. Underneath the layers of her sweater and dress, was a comfortable, unlined pink bra and a set of cotton panties in baby blue. 
Just as she went to type an answer, she blanched, eyes widening as an alternative idea popped through her head. 
Did he want a... picture of her?
The idea had her stomach churning. 
Though it wasn't anything Harry hadn't seen before, photos seemed so much more scandalous. She didn't doubt that it had much to do with conversations she overhead her parents having, the kind when a celebrity or a girl in their community had private photos leaked and spread around. It was always the woman in the photo's fault—if she hadn't wanted those out there, she shouldn't have taken them. She shouldn't have been acting like a whore. 
She must have taken longer than she realized when another message came through.
     Baby? 
Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) typed out a noncommittal answer. 
    maybeeeeeeee
    why?
Harry would be disappointed to see her chewing on the pillow of her lip, but she couldn't help herself. Was it stupid to be nervous? Especially when the question itself hadn't even been asked—and even if it had, Harry was the love of her life. She lived with him, and was stressing over the idea of sending him a photo of her body? It didn't make much sense. 
     I miss you baby. Do you think I could see you? 
If there was any room for speculation over how much he missed her and in what way, it was all put to rest when another photo came through. 
It was a view of the small of Harry's stomach, angled as if he were posing the camera from the height of his chest. His hand, tattooed and familiar, grasping at a bulge through the worn black material of his sweats. 
(Y/N) blinked, breath stuck in her chest. 
No wonder he couldn't fall asleep. 
Was she supposed to send her own photo now? To be fair, it was quite the sight—one she had missed since he left—to see the expanse of his hand over his crotch, but she wasn't sure she was far enough gone to completely disregard the feeling in her stomach. 
But she couldn't leave him hanging. She knew she would be sick to her stomach if she sent something to Harry and he didn't immediately respond in kind. 
She didn't think before she reacted to the photo with a heart, typing out: 
     i miss you too!!!!! is this why you couldn't sleep 
It took all of one second, realizing what she had sent his way, to make her cringe. She was sure this wasn't the kind of reaction he had been hoping for when he sent an explicit image. 
She hoped, if anything, he thought it was endearing. 
     A little bit. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since our phone call. I don't know if I can wait two more sleeps to see you again. 
Her heart raced behind her ribs. While it wasn't something she really indulged in, there was more than once this week that she had briefly wondered if she had the willpower to wait for him to return home before spreading her legs. But, as it usually did, the idea paled in comparison to what he was able to offer her. If she had to wait a couple of days, then so be it, she had decided. 
That decision didn't feel so concrete now, not with the view on her phone. 
It's not like Harry would spread her photos around. She knew that. And this would be far from the most scandalous thing she'd ever partaken in with Harry's guidance. 
And, gosh, did she miss him.
Between her legs, a heat gathered. What she wouldn't give to be on her knees before him, her hand replacing his. To hear the rumbling of his moans, hearing him call her his pretty, good girl. So gorgeous he can barely handle himself. That he could spend hours—days, even—in bed with her. All he wanted was to take care of her, starting with the ache between her legs. 
She clutched her phone tightly. 
It wouldn't be so bad, she thought. It was just a photo. If it really bothered her, Harry would delete every photo and every mention of the photos. Besides, she was an adult. 
She had moved into a home with her long-term boyfriend—who she had a sneaking suspicion was going to propose in the near future—, took care of her own needs, and would soon be facing her college graduation. She could send photos of herself if she wanted to. 
(Even if she still felt a little sick to her stomach. Aside from being unsure of sending them, she didn't even know how to take them). 
     Are you still there, baby? I didn't mean to scare you off. 
A small smile touched the corners of her mouth. She could hear those words in his voice. He was always so worried about being too much, asking for too much, when it came to her. Because he was Harry, and he loved her. 
He loved her so much, and she didn't doubt that she could trust him even more.
     yeah hold on im taking a picture !!
That was all she said before pulling up her camera. 
Making quick work of her clothing, the sweater and dress became nothing more than a puddle on the floor. She hesitated at the hem of the stockings. It felt a bit silly to keep them on, given the fact that her underwear was far from pretty and put together. But, Harry did seem to like them. 
Before she could think any more about it, she took her phone and stepped in front of the mirror. 
There was a feeling in her chest, similar to that of when he took her to the beach for the first time in Barcelona, seeing herself in so little clothing. Very different to when she would disrobe in front of him, knowing that he was only going to gaze upon her in awe. She wouldn't be able to gauge his reaction from the other end of a phone. 
If not for the fact that she had already said she was taking a photo of herself, (Y/N) may have backed down. Instead, she committed to posing before the mirror. 
She stood with her thighs together, the gusset of her panties tucked between her legs. The stockings stood out against her skin, shimmering in the low light of the lit lamps of their bedroom. Her breasts were cradled in the light pink material of her bra, unlined with the peak of her nipples pushing through. The thin line of wire under her bust held up the swells. 
Angling her camera to conceal her face once more, (Y/N) held her breath as she pressed the circle at the bottom of her screen. She didn't allow herself more than a glance at the photo before pressing send. It didn't look too bad when she peeked, but she wasn't in the mood to judge her body any more than she already was beginning to judge herself for taking the photo at all. 
She couldn't wait to see what his reaction would be. Instead, she locked her phone and dove for the safety of her bed, wrapping the throw lined at the bottom of the mattress around her nearly-bare body. 
(Y/N) knew she wasn't a bad person. Right? She had only sent a photo to her boyfriend. That was all. Was it the best photo? Maybe not, but it was of her. That should be enough for him, right? 
Harry always told her just how perfect she was, how much he loved her body. Even after she had more than one bowl of soup before he took her to bed, he never complained over her bloated stomach or if she hadn't had time to shave herself before spreading her legs. 
But, photos could be so unforgiving. She wouldn't blame him if he thought differently of her. Not to mention, she really gave in pretty quickly to this whole photo thing, didn't she? 
What if he hadn't even wanted a photo of her, and she sent one anyway? She should have know—
     Fuck
     Angel are you joking 
     This isn't fair. You cant look so pretty without me 
     Did you keep those stockings on for m e?
Something bloomed in the middle of her chest. It was a bit silly, but she knew Harry. He didn't text without punctuation and checking his spelling. Seeing the lack of periods and a disjointed word at the end, she liked to think that her photo was having a more profound effect on him than she could have hoped. 
The lighting hadn't been as bad as she thought, then. 
Confidence struck her, urging her to message him back before it had a chance to fizzle out. 
     yes daddy
She wished she could be there to see his reaction to the message. She missed seeing that flash in his eyes, his pupils dilating as he gazed at her. In her head, he would have reached out and grabbed her hips, pulling her flushed to him. Hips together, where the thick bulge of his cock would press right against her core. 
Was it crazy to catch a flight? She could probably make it there soon, and then they could go home together on Sunday. 
That way she could at least see her daddy be—
     You're such a good girl for your daddy angel
     Fucking perfect you're gonna make me cum just from your picture 
     Can I show you?
The final message had her heart slowing. The heat that had fallen to the backburner during her overthinking had returned tenfold. The effect she had on him would never not amaze her. 
She definitely wanted to see. 
     please
(Y/N) waited, sitting in the message thread. Her imagination ran wild, filling in the gaps his absence left behind. 
She wondered how long he would be home before she would drip to her knees. Would she let him put his things away, or would he feel the same need she did and take care of her as soon as he made it through the door? Would he press her against the door, his hair still pulled back from his flight, minty gum being ground between his molars? Or would he give her the courtesy of placing her on the kitchen counter, shorts pulled to her ankles? 
Could she get him to play with her, chasing her into their bedroom before she tugged him down atop her? So she could lay just like she was now, on her back with her head cushioned by a pillow smelling of him. In her head, she would have something much prettier on, but if he wanted her pretty socks on, she could do that for him. She could spread her legs for him, let him fit himself between her thighs. 
Her breathing was labored as she took the hand bundled between the sheets to the small of her stomach. Her phone was still hovering above her face, waiting for the response she needed from Harry, but now her attention was beginning to split in half. 
Now, she noticed the goosebumps on her skin, rising in the wake of her own touch. The feeling brought her back to their first Valentine's Day. When he had sat behind her, their hands looped together between her legs, showing her exactly how to touch herself, to emulate the way he took care of her. Her fingertips had only touched the first thread of the elastic around her waist when a message came through.
Or a video did. 
There was a part of her that was worried that she didn't even hesitate before pressing play. The other part of her was too worked up to care. 
The video took over the full screen in an instant, the sound turned up just enough to hear soft noises. (Y/N) hurried to turn the volume up a few notches when she realized what she was looking at. 
With his sweats pushed down to his thighs, showing off the ink needled into nearly every inch of his skin, Harry had his hand fisted around his cock. Only lamps were turned on in his hotel room, leaving the space in buttery, limited light. Shadows were elongated, everything just a touch darker than she was sure it was in real. Including the black nail polish that glimmered on his fingers as he stroked his hand over his cock. 
The tip was red and ruddy, blurting with precum. He was much more worked up than she was expecting, the long night having taken a toll on him. Slick, soft pats of his hand hitting his base sounded through her phone, in conjunction with the heady pants behind the camera. 
Her mouth ran dry when she heard her name being moaned. She had missed that voice so much. 
All over a single photo she had sent. 
A week apart was much too long, it appeared. 
Abruptly, the video stopped. She didn't think before she tapped the screen again, urging the clip to start over. 
Watching the video once more, (Y/N) allowed her other hand to drift lower. Breaching the waist of her underwear, she pictured his hand as her eyes fluttered to a close. It was jarring, the first touch to her clit. The last time she had done this for herself, had been under Harry's supervision that day. Never had she been alone before. 
Though, she figured she wasn't really alone, not when she heard the grumbling tone of his moans filtering through the room. The call of her name as he jerked his fist over his length. 
With her mind becoming a bit more muddy with every breath, she attempted to remember just how Harry worked her up and helped her through the shaky breaths entering her lungs. 
He always started at her clit, working the bud in tight circles, borrowing wetness from her slit to keep her movements slick. Her back arched as she slid her finger lower, parting her folds to where her pulsing opening beckoned to someone miles away. 
Her lungs shuddered, breathing uneven as she attempted to focus. Pulling her eyes open (she hadn't even known they closed, really) she directed the small portion of her attention she had to spare towards her phone. The video had ended, the screen moments away from locking before she tapped her thumb. 
Swiping to their messages, she didn't think. 
     harry oh my god 
     i miss you so much daddy I wish you were here this doesn't feel the same without you 
     i need you 
A trio of dots came up on the corner of her screen.
     Can I see you, baby? I miss you too so much. 
     When I get home I m going to take such good care f you I promise 
     Be good and show daddy what he's doing to you love I need it 
How he knew so clearly what to say to her, what would clear through the much and spear into her chest, she was never going to be sure, but she would always be grateful.
His request for another photo was a steady distraction. It allowed her to keep some of her head on straight instead of losing every bit of her to the pleasure she was eliciting between her legs. Taking a hurried moment, she shimmied her panties down her stockinged legs until the garment was hanging off of an ankle. Spreading her legs wide, her phone angled just so, the camera caught a view of the softness of her stomach to the middle of her thighs. Just the top scalloping of the lace was caught from the stockings.
Her hand, tucked just so, worked between her legs. She wasn't sure if the slick sounds permeating the room was going to be picked up, but she hoped so. She hoped Harry would be able to hear what such a simple video had done to her. That she had viewed it twice, her underwear now sporting a damp spot with that same wetness being pulled up to coat her clit. That she really did listen when he attempted to show her how to take care of herself, circling her fingers around the bud with her pulsing opening waiting for him the second he made it back home to her. 
Oh god, when he got home. 
She didn't doubt that he was going to take perfect care of her. Throwing her head back, (Y/N) lost sight of the screen of her phone, but a different view took over her head. 
This one had Harry sitting before her, letting her nestle between his thighs as he stroked his cock in front of her face. She could see the pearls of precum beading down his length to be swept away in his stroking fist. Glistening and throbbing. She would open her mouth and let him do anything he wanted—
"Daddy," she breathed, blinking back to the world when she realized she still had a video she was to be directing. 
Keeping her hand between her legs, she shut off the camera. She only made a couple of presses before the video was off to Harry, though she kept working her fingers over her clit, dipping low in teasing touches before returning to the bud. As much as she would have liked to feel something sinking deep inside her, the idea didn't sound as appealing when she knew her own fingers weren't going to cut it. She would save that bit for Harry; toying with her clit was doing a well enough job, and she didn't have the attention to take care of two different paces, if she was honest. 
A handful of responses were delivered to her at a rapid-fire pace. 
     can I save that video baby
     you look so pretty with your hand between your legs 
     Doing what daddy taught you rigt 
     Im so fuckign proud of you I miss you so much angel 
     can I see you cum please 
     for me 
Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) barely was able to keep her hand from shaking as she typed.
     I want to see you:( 
It was at the same moment that her phone buzzed. A FaceTime call. From Harry.
"Harry?" she greeted, breathless when she answered. She didn't need to glance at the tiny box of herself to know that her eyes were lidded and wild, mouth parted and swollen. 
"Oh fuck, (Y/N)," he muttered, the view of his face obstructed from the messy state of his hair. His cheeks blazed with warmth, baby hair clinging to his temples. "You're close, love? Can y'cum with me?" 
(Y/N) practically melted into the mattress at the sound of his voice. She missed this so much—missed him more than she even realized until then. Her clit pulsed under her finger. 
"Uh-huh," she nodded, debating turning her camera around before blinking at her phone screen. "Do you... I can show you." 
A string of curses left his raspberry mouth. "Let me see, baby. Let daddy see." 
She didn't have to give another thought before she was punching the button, reversing the camera to show a view of her spread legs. Her hand was clearly working over her pussy, the slick sounds not matching the circling of her fingers. 
"That feel good, angel?" Harry panted, his eyes almost falling closed before he suddenly remembered what was in front of him. A quiet whimper broke from her throat. "I know, baby. 'M sure it feels so good, huh?" 
For the hundredth time in the last handful of minutes, she wished Harry was with her. She wished he was hovering above her, that she could see the look on her face and the need flashing through her eyes. That he would know what she needed just from looking at her, but she supposed she could handle that part for the night. Maybe. 
"R-Really good, daddy," she let out, breathless, "I-I want to see you—I'm—" 
Before her eyes, she saw the screen flip. Where his flustered face had been was now a view of his cock. Much like his video, his fist was working relentlessly over his length, though he decidedly looked much more desperate. He was gleaming in the sheen of his precum, his thumb swiping through the near constant river dripping down. From the way he was breathing alone, she was sure he was close. 
"Harry—oh my god," she murmured, barely finding her voice, "Wh-When you get home, will you—Can you let me do that for you, please? I want you so bad." 
It was a bold request, so bluntly spoken in her book. Though it only seemed to spur Harry on. His cock jumped in his hand, another stream sliding down his cock. 
"You're gonna make me cum, baby," he groaned, the camera going shaking like his breathing, "I wanna see you first—can y'do that for me? Are y'close?" 
Shifting her hold on her phone, she moved her camera to show the pace of her fingers between her legs, working over her clit. She moved her legs wider apart, her movements growing messy and clumsy. Knowing that he was watching her was enough to have her arching her back. 
"So close, so close," she muttered, her voice thick in her throat. 
"Show me." The command of his voice was so enticing. "I wanna see how much y'miss me, love." 
When he put it that way, she couldn't hold off any more. She wanted him to know just how badly she missed him, how much she wished she was at his side, hands on each other. Shuttering her eyes, she hoped she kept her hand steady as she felt herself unravel. Though it didn't compare to the fire Harry lit in the pit of her stomach, the flames lighting under her skin was enough to simmer her blood and warm her body.
Whimpering calls of his name—both of them—fell from her lips. Her breasts heaved under her bra, heart pounding just as hard. Her fingers lagged around her clit as her hips bucked upwards into her hand. Her folds grew impossibly slick, her insides clenching around nothing. Especially when she heard the responding moans from Harry on the other end.
It took effort to peel her eyes open, to look at her own show playing on her phone screen. 
Harry was cumming, his hand still tight around his cock. Ropes of his release spurted from his tip, dripping down to his stroking hand. Deep, heavy moans fell from his lips. (Y/N) could only imagine the way he looked with his lips parted, eyes shuttered closed with his hair a messy halo around his head. How it would feel to have her head against his chest, feeling the vibrations of his voice under her ear. 
Aftershocks wracked through her body as she watched him. More and more clarity streaked through her head as she watched his own comedown begin. Through the camera, she could see the way his strokes began to slow, hand shaking as he loosened his grip. Small dribbles were all that remained of his release before he hissed, removing his hand completely. 
(She wasn't going to say it now, but she felt a bit... sad to know that the slick release covering his hand was going to be washed away. She would have cleaned him up better). 
Her own hand retreated from between her legs. Her legs moved to close around the phantom touch that had her insides pulsing. She wondered if Harry was able to see the glistening slick over her fingers before she turned the camera back around. 
"Harry?" 
It took a bit, a lingering pause with heavy breaths before Harry followed suit. 
"Sorry," he murmured, his face flushed as he blinked his eyes open, "Are y'alright, love?" 
Nestled amongst the sheets that still smelled of him, (Y/N) felt a dazed smile touch her lips. 
"I'm good. Are you okay?"
"'M alright," he confirmed, a subtle grin matching hers. "That was a lot, huh?"
She suddenly felt shy. As if this was the most scandalous thing they've ever gotten up to. 
"A little. But, good, right?" 
"Good. Really good," he cemented, a light in his eyes, "Not what I thought we were going to do tonight, but worth it." 
(Y/N) hummed. "I just wanted help picking out an outfit." 
A loud laugh bubbled from her love. "Well, at least y'know my favorite." 
Rolling her sheets, legs still a bit sticky, (Y/N) could only mimic the smile on his face. "I guess so. But I don't know if I can wear that if that's how it made you feel." 
"Maybe not," he prattled, "Might have to be something just for the two of us." 
"Maybe," she sighed. 
On her phone, she watched Harry's eyes grow heavy. Once glance at the time showed her how late the night had grown while they were busy. All after the long day Harry had gone through. 
"Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?" she asked, her voice decidedly quieter and more even than just moments before. 
"Probably," Harry hummed, a lazy smile pulling his lips, "Are you tired?" 
"A little. I still need to clean up, but you know me." 
"Don't I ever," he teased, affection swimming in his gaze, "Only two more sleeps, sweetheart." 
"Two more sleeps," she repeated, a sigh fanning from her lips, "I'll talk to you in the morning?" 
"I'll text y'when I wake up," he assured, exhaustion lessening only to make room for the fondness infiltrating his features. "Goodnight, baby. Love you." 
"Love you, too, H." 
The last thing she saw was the loving smile on his face before the screen cut back to their messages. It made her skin warm seeing the last few texts they shared. Everything always seemed a little bit silly once that cold clarity hit. 
Not that she would change a single moment, of course. Though she didn't see the photo thing becoming the norm between them, it definitely didn't seem so scary with Harry on the other end. 
It felt... nice, even. Even without her right in front of him, Harry still was the most loving, most affectionate. He was miles and miles away and she was still the most appealing thing to him. After a long day, she was the one he wanted to see.
Biting her bottom lip between her teeth, she pulled up the keyboard one more time. 
     you can save that video btw !
—————
(Y/N) practically bounced in her spot, eyes fixed to the front door and Evie in her arms. 
He should be back at any second. 
Like, now.
... Or, now.
Her lips thinned. Evie wriggled in her arms. 
Maybe, now?
A chirping meow left Evie. 
"I know, I know," (Y/N) murmured, "As soon as daddy's home, I'll feed you, okay? He should be home in just a second, Ev—"
The sound of the doorknob turning plucked her attention. Even Evie turned to see what was going on. Finagling out of her arms, the kitten rushed towards the door, large eyes directed upwards, waiting for her dad to appear. 
Pushing open the door, Harry was revealed, in a comfortable all black outfit with the hood of his sweatshirt draped over his head. Just as she pictured, he still had gum being chewed between his molars. His eyes were tired, though there was a spark that filtered through his gaze when he saw the tiny creature at his feet. 
"Hi, Ev," he murmured, duffle bag dangling over his shoulder as he bent down to pet between her ears. "I missed you so much, little." 
(Y/N) smiled at the affectionate tone of his voice, her hands clasped into a bundle under her chin. 
Harry lingered with his cat for only a second before he peeked up at her. Right where she was perched on the arm of the couch, a silky short dress clinging to her form. Stockings on her legs. 
"Hey, you."
Launching herself at him, (Y/N) flung her arms around his neck. Harry didn't hesitate before he reciprocated her hold, caging her to his c test with the bar of his arms around her back. Lifting her feet off the floor, he tucked his head into her neck, twirling her with the tips of her toes grazing the floor. 
"I missed you," she murmured, taking in the perfume of his scent. The sheets were beginning to dull, and while she had the full-size of his cologne in their bathroom, it didn't have the same notes that his skin, his laundry, his hair had. It didn't smell the same without the warmth of him underneath.
Harry pulsed his arms around her, the muscles blocking out of his body keeping her steady in his hold. "I missed you too, baby. Next time, you're coming with me, okay? We'll figure something out for Evie and your classes." 
"Okay," she blindly agreed, nodding her head in his neck, "I'm coming with you." 
Taking in a deep breath, Harry shifted his hold on her until he had an arm barred around the back of her thighs. It took a tap of his fingers on the plush skin, the strip between the hem of her nightdress and the lace of her stockings, to get to wrap her legs around his hips. Armed with both his duffle and his love, he started towards their bedroom. 
"Wanna shower with me first, or should we do that after?" 
"After?" 
She felt the breath of his laughter fan across her bare shoulder. 
"After I keep my promise. Y'didn't wear all this for nothing, right?"
(Y/N) only locked her ankles around his back. 
"Shower after." 
His hand shifted, giving her backside a small swat. 
"That's what I thought." 
—————
this has been a long time coming so I hope everyone likes how it turned out! thank you sooooo much for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and pleaseee if you have anything fun like an idea or request pleaseee send it in!
867 notes · View notes
cupidbedsy · 4 months ago
Text
𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗯𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸𝘂𝗽 ; 𝘫𝘩86, 𝘭𝘩43, 𝘲𝘩43, 𝘵𝘻11, 𝘤𝘤22 ୨୧
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➪ summary: after being stood up, y/n was planning on just spending her night crying on the curb before she went home. that was until five boys showed up and took her out.
➪ warnings: reader gets stood up, mentions of cheating, trevor is such a flirt, reader has chemistry with all five of them, definitely typos/not proofread
➪ word count: 5.3k
➪ file type: new fic
➪ sunny's notes: the first fic since i've left. guys you have no idea how in love i am with this. i got this idea based on a tiktok (at least the first part was, the fair part was all me) but i love this so so so much and i hope you guys do too. okay two things that i am willing to do with this, write and give you guys the letters each of them write and/or a part two where she gets together with one of them (who, you let me know)
© cupidbedsy (sunflower-lilac42) ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here
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She hadn't meant to end up on the curb, mascara streaking down her cheeks as the city buzzed around her, but here she was, wishing she'd never agreed to the date in the first place. She shoved her phone roughly into the pocket of her jacket, curling herself into it further. She turned her attention to the cracks in the sidewalk, tracing the lines and picking at the grass that grew out of some of them. 
When she got bored of that she wrapped her arms around her knees and just buried her head into them, listening to the cars passing by and the distant music from the bar a couple of buildings down. She could hear muffled laughter and talking drawing closer but she was too distracted to care. 
Meanwhile, the group of guys was walking down the sidewalk laughing about a joke one of them had said. They had just been wandering around trying to figure out what they should do that night. It was Luke who spotted the girl first, he paused once his gaze landed on her. At first he thought nothing of it, merely shrugged it off as just someone who was drunk way too early into the night. 
But as the group neared closer, he could hear the soft sniffles and immediately reached his hand out to stop Jack, who was walking beside him, “What?”
Jack raised his eyebrow as he followed Luke’s gaze to where the girl was sitting. He looked back at his younger brother and then back at the girl, “What is it?”
“She’s crying, dumbass.”
The conversation halted the other three’s movements, their laughter slowly fading. They made their way back over to the two, making a little huddle as they discussed what they should do, “Should we do something?”
Quinn crossed his arms, slightly worried about the girl even if she was just a stranger. He listened to the others talk before walking up to her, ignoring the group’s sounds of protests, “Hey.”
The girl jumped slightly, rushing to wipe the tears from her face as she looked up at him, “Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
She looked back down, eyes fixed on her sweater covered hands, before she mumbled, “I’m fine.” She picked at the loose strings coming from the edge of the sleeves, oblivious to the looks and mouthed words the boys were exchanging. 
When minutes had passed she finally looked back up to see the five now completely surrounding her. She could tell they had been planning on going out somewhere, probably having a lot more fun then she would’ve had even if her date had shown up. A few of them sent her an awkward smile while the one she had talked to and one of the taller ones sent her genuine ones. 
“We didn’t mean to bother you,” Luke said, “We were just wondering if you were okay.”
Y/n nodded, “I’m fine… just a bad night, I guess.”
Trevor raised his eyebrows, “Just a bad night?” Jack hit him in the stomach and smiled at the girl apologetically, “Sorry about him.”
She cracked a small smile, the first one since she arrived at the shitty bar two hours ago. Cole took this as an invitation to offer what they had been talking about earlier, “We were going to go get some pizza, do you want to come with?”
She moved her eyes to each one, all of them now having a smile on their face, a sincere one. She blinked, slightly surprised at how willing they were to offer her to come with, “I don’t want to ruin your night…”
“You wouldn’t be ruining anything,” Trevor chimed in, “We were just figuring out what to do anyway, no plans whatsoever.”
She hesitated, still unsure, but as she looked up at them she  couldn’t deny that going to get pizza with five random guys would be better than sitting on the curb alone in the cold. She nodded and whispered, “Okay. Pizza sounds good.”
Luke flashed a grin, holding his hand out to her, “Come on, let’s get out of here.” 
She took his hand, using it as an aid to stand up. The four immediately fell into step beside them, making small talk with y/n as they made their way down the street. Luke never strayed far from her, occasionally tightening the grip he still had on her hand. 
“What’s your favorite kind of pizza?” Cole stepped closer to her, leaving Jack behind to continue talking to Quinn. 
She shrugged at first before speaking softly, “Just cheese.”
Trevor came up behind her too, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he pushed Luke out of the way, “Plain cheese. My kind of girl.”
She laughed at his comment, catching her footing as Trevor leaned on her. They all continued their walk to the pizza place, stepping in and immediately being hit with the smell of pizza. THey found a table near the back and sat down, placing their drink order with the waiter that came by. 
“So, what had you sitting on the curb crying?”
She tensed slightly, not sure if she should actually tell them but she looked at all of their gazes and noticed how genuine all of them looked so she spoke up, “I was supposed to go on a date tonight. But he stood me up.”
They all collectively scoffed, “What an ass?”
“He doesn’t know what he was missing out on.”
She laughed, “You guys don’t even know me.”
“So? It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you’re a good person.”
Quinn, who had noticed the sadness still lingering in her eyes, inserted himself into the conversation, “I’m assuming that’s not it?”
She smiled sadly, “It would’ve been my first date in a month… since my ex cheated on me.”
The five of them stared at her with wide eyes, “No fucking way.”
“Yep.” Before anyone got a chance to say something, the waiter came around and handed out their drinks before taking their pizza order. 
The waiter walked away and she immediately said something before they could, “So what about you? Who are the five guys that mysteriously decided to take me under their wing for the night?”
“Well I’m Jack, this is my older brother Quinn and my younger brother Luke. And these are my best friends Cole and Trevor.”
They all waved as Jack said their names, smiling awkwardly in return. They all slowly got to know each other, y/n finding out they all played hockey and which teams they played on. She got told many childhood stories, especially about the three brothers since they had known each other for the longest obviously. Eventually, they got their pizza and continued their conversation as they ate. 
When they were done they slowly headed out the door, paying for their meal beforehand. They all stood outside the pizza place and exchanged glances with one another, “So now what?”
“Well, I should probably head home…”
“Nonsense!” Jack screamed, “Come on let’s go do something. You still need some cheering up.”
“Thank you but I don’t want to impose more than I already have.”
They all shook their heads, “Nah, come on. Let’s go to the fair.”
She was hesitant once again but she saw all of their pleading looks and gave in immediately, “Alright fine. Let’s go.”
The five of them cheered and immediately took off down the street, y/n’s laughter filling their ears.
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
They six arrived at the fair, y/n looking around in awe. It had been a while since she’d been to a fair or carnival, the bright lights overwhelming her in the slightest. She followed behind the guys, not knowing where exactly she, or they, were heading. She watched from behind them as they hit each other playfully and laughed before Cole fell behind and walked alongside her, “Hey.”
“Hi.” She looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows, “What’s up?”
“How much do you like rides?”
“Depends on which one.”
“Ferris wheel, swings, tilt-a-whirl.”
“Ferris wheel it is.”
Cole called out to his friends, “Hey! We’re going on the ferris wheel. We’ll meet up with you later.”
The other four waved him off and y/n smiled at him, “Lead the way Caufield.”
Cole practically dragged her in the direction of the ride, hearing her laugh behind him. She squealed as she almost ran into people, yelling out apologies as they passed by. He never let up, continuing his fast paced walk, or run as y/n called it, through the crowds. She told him to slow down multiple times and even then he would only slow his pace in the slightest.
Once they finally arrived there, she panted, “Jeez. Are you trying to kill me?”
“No! I was just really excited. Now come on before the lines get too long.” She nodded and continued her pursuit after him, managing to get in line before the crowd started to gather. 
Cole grinned at her as they stood in line and y/n couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. Cole looked at her and his grin turned crooked, “What?”
“Has anyone told you how contagious your energy is?”
He shrugged, “Sometimes.”
The two continued to stand in silence, y/n gazing around at the multitude of booths that surrounded her. Some were selling food, deep fried twinkies or churros, she made a mental note to come back later to satisfy her sweet tooth. Others were selling trinkets or shirts or bracelets. She looked around at all the people, some little kids bouncing up and down with happiness as they held their parents hands, a group of teens who were taking pictures on a polaroid camera, and a couple who were holding hands and wearing matching t-shirts. Her smile quickly faded from her face and turned into a frown.
Cole noticed the sudden change in her demeanor and he didn’t let it last long, “So, you’ve ever been on a ferris wheel.”
She looked back at him, smiling softly, “Yeah, a few times, but it’s been a while. I forgot how much fun fairs were, I used to go as a kid with my family.”
“They’re the best, especially at night when you reach the top and can see almost the whole fair from up there. Magic or something.”
“Magic huh?” A teasing smile played on her lips as she nudged him. 
“Hey! Don’t judge me. It’s true.”
She just continued to smile as she faced forward, watching as the line continued to move quicker and quicker. Before she knew it, it was her and Cole’s turn to get on, the two of them quickly sitting in their seats and watching as the worker closed the cabin door. It was just Cole and y/n  in there, sitting across from one another. 
“What’s your favorite part?” She looked over at him with curious eyes.
He smiled once more before answering, “When you get to the top and are lucky enough that that’s where it stops you.”
She nodded in agreement before looking out the booth, “That’s my favorite part too.”
The two fell into a comfortable silence as the wheel took them around twice before finally stopping at the top. Her breath hitched as they stopped, not expecting it in the slightest. She couldn’t help but think back to Cole’s words earlier, it was truly magical. Every noise seemed to fall deaf on her ears as she gazed out at the lights shining brightly, the mass of people running around below her. 
“I told you.”
She hummed as she looked over at him, “Yeah you did. And for the record I never said you were wrong.”
A few moments passed before she spoke again, “Thank you… for this, for tonight.”
“No need to thank me, I’m glad we ran into you.”
That’s when the ride started to move again, bringing the two of them back to the ground. The ride worker smiled at them once more as they climbed out and waved goodbye before helping the next group of people in the car. Cole and y/n laughed as they stumbled down the road, his hand brushing up against hers. The two blushed in unison, looking down before continuing to walk down the street. 
“Want to go find the others?” Y/n nodded but slowed her pace in the slightest, “But let’s take our time, hm? We’re not in any rush are we?”
Cole grinned again, “Not one bit.”
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
When they finally found the group of them, they were in the part of the fair that hosted a majority of the carnival games. Jack swung an arm around her, “Well look who’s back. The girl of the hour!”
She blushed again as everyone’s gaze fell upon her, “Hi.”
“So how was the ferris wheel?” Trevor teased as he took a sip of his drink, his raised eyebrows still visible from behind the cup.
“Good.”
“Mhm, what y/n said.” He glared slightly at Trevor but kept his cool for the most part. 
“Haven��t been on a ferris wheel in a while, it was fun.”
“I bet,” Trevor mumbled again and received a smack on the head from Quinn. 
“So, what do you guys want to do next?” Luke interrupted, slightly ticked off from both Trevor’s antics and the blush that was on Cole and y/n’s face. 
They all looked at the girl’s face as her eyes wandered up and down the street awaiting her decision. Her gaze finally landed back on them before she spoke, “Who’s good at games?”
Four of the five of them stepped back immediately at her words leaving Luke the only one standing, “I guess that’s me.”
She took ahold of his hand and dragged him down the way to one of the games, Luke only able to send a wave quickly as he stumbled after her. He watched as she talked animatedly about the carnival games, something along the lines of never being able to win one. Something clicked in his brain and he knew he wanted to win something for her. 
They finally reached one of the booths, the two of them coming to a stop immediately, “Do you think you can win?”
She looked up at him with hopeful eyes, “I’ve been trying since I was a kid.”
He nodded, a small part of him knowing there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to but he sure as hell was determined to win. She watched as he stepped up to the worker, handing her a few bucks before picking up the miniature basketballs. 
One after another he missed but his confidence never waivered even as he continued to hand the worker money. After the third try, y/n stepped up and placed her hand on his arm, “Come on, Luke. It’s useless at this point.”
“One more. I promise.”
She relented and allowed him to hand the worker more money before picking the basketballs up again. This time, all the ones he threw made it into the wooden baskets and he cheered before bringing her into a hug and pointing up at the prizes, “Which one do you want?”
She smiled up at him, “The purple cow. Please.”
The worker nodded and took it down before handing it to the girl who beamed as she took it into her arms, “Finally. After 18 plus years.”
He laughed at her, watching as she played with the stuffed animal’s floppy ears, “You know I don’t think cows are supposed to have floppy ears.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she immediately found comfort in the gesture, “Whatever, it’s cute.”
Luke looked down at her and smiled softly, “Yeah, sure is.”
Oblivious to Luke’s gaze and true meaning of his words, she spoke, “C’mon let’s go show everyone what you won me. My hero.”
He chuckled again before leading her back to the group but going as slow as possible to not have to completely leave her side too early. She looked back up at him with a playful smirk, “So Luke, is this your secret talent? Winning impossible carnival games?”
He laughed, shaking his head, “Not this time. I think I just got lucky.”
“Lucky huh? Or maybe you’re just too stubborn to give up…” She urged.
He shrugged, “Maybe a little bit of both. But it was worth it to see you smile like that.”
A new blush rose to her cheeks and she changed her gaze to the ground, letting Luke guide her through the crowds, clutching the stuffed cow even closer to her.
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
“Look what Luke won me!” She hopped over to the group of boys who snapped their heads to look at her. 
They nodded, less enthusiastic than the girl but still trying to make it seem like they were. Quinn was the first one, “How long did it take him?”
Luke rolled his eyes at his older brother, “Oh shut up.”
“I was just asking!”
Y/n shook her head at the banter and stepped away as they continued to argue back and forth. She ended up next to Jack who immediately took notice that she was now by his side, “Hey there.”
“Hi.”
For a while they didn’t say anything, just watching the fight between Luke and Quinn. Then y/n nudged his side and whispered in his ear, “Fried Twinkie?”
He nodded and grinned walking away with her towards the food. The two made their way down, a lot of the crowd had dispersed to the shows now that they had started. There was a small line forming outside of the food truck that sold the fried twinkies, so the two just stood and made small talk as they waited, “So… fried twinkies, huh? Your go-to carnival snack?”
“Yep, always has been. It’s a classic, too. I’ve been eyeing them since I got to the ferris wheel with Cole.”
“Always has been? How many times have you been?”
They moved up with the line and she shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts, “I used to go all the time with my family when we were kids, but when my siblings grew up and started relenting ‘family quality time’ we just stopped kind of going.”
Jack nodded, “Yeah, I feel that. I mean once we all started to get more serious about hockey we all just kind of forgot to do stuff like that, or at least it was hard to go out without people recognizing us.”
They finally reached the front of the line, the vendor smiling at them happily as he rang up the two fried twinkies. Y/n watched as Jack swiped his card, grateful that the boys had been basically spoiling her since they picked her up on the side of the street. It was hard to believe that this all happened because someone stood her up but she couldn’t find it in herself to care at this point. 
She jumped slightly when she noticed Jack’s hand wave in front of her face, “Lost you there for a sec. Here is your fried Twinkie, m’lady.”
“Why thank you kind sir.” 
The two made their way over to one of the many benches that was set up on the grass. Y/n sat the purple cow on the table next to her, taking a bite of the treat, “I forgot how good these were.”
“I forgot how bad for you these are.”
“Oh come on, you can’t tell me you don’t indulge in something sweet once in a while, especially since it’s the summer.”
Jack smirked, “I never said that. I just meant that this is fucking greasy as hell.”
She only nodded, taking another bite. The two sat in silence as they ate and then she saw Jack’s hand reaching out, “What’re-”
His thumb landed on the corner of her mouth, wiping some of the filling of the twinkie away, “You got a little something there.”
Her cheeks flushed at the action, though she couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or flustered. Once they were done, they threw their trash away and y/n resumed her grasp on her cow, “Thanks for coming with me.”
“‘Course, I’m glad you’re having a great time. You deserve it, especially after… well you know.”
She frowned slightly and nodded, “Yeah.”
“Hey come on. No frowns anymore. The night isn’t over yet!”
“Oh, it’s not?”
“Nope! I heard there was this karaoke or dance thing happening soon, we’re definitely going. Let’s go find the guys.”
She lagged at his words and ran after him.
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
The two ran up to the group, Jack practically crashing into Cole, “Whoops sorry.”
Cole shoved him back and y/n laughed at the interaction, “Alright so what’s this I hear about dancing?”
“Well we were going to go to karaoke, but someone said no.”
Eyes turned to Luke who shrugged innocently, “What? I don’t really want to get on stage and sing in front of a bunch of people.”
“Buzzkill. But there’s a band performing right now so we figured we’d go check that out.”
Y/n nodded, “Akright.”
The six of them made their way through the fair, walking to one of the many stages they had there. Y/n reached for the closest hand, which happened to be Quinn’s, scared of getting lost in the crowds. Quinn looked down at her and smiled gently, “Nervous?”
“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed.”
He squeezed her hand, “Well I got you.”
A pink tint covered her cheeks for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. They navigated their way close to the middle of the group, nodding their heads along to the beat of whatever song the band was playing. 
As they settled into the middle of the crowd, the energy of the live music began to seep into Y/N’s bones. The band was playing an upbeat, catchy tune that had the entire audience swaying and moving along to the rhythm. Y/n finally let herself relax into the swing of the crowd.
Quinn, still holding her hand, leaned down to be heard over the music. “Feeling better?”
She nodded, giving him a grateful smile. “Yeah, thanks. This is actually pretty fun.”
“Good,” he replied, his eyes twinkling with warmth.
As the band transitioned into a slower, more melodic song, Y/N noticed that couples around them started to pair off, swaying together in time with the music. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do, but before she could overthink it, Jack nudged her playfully.
“Come on, Y/N,” he said with a grin. “You can’t just stand there. Dance with us!”
Before she could respond, Jack took her other hand, spinning her around playfully before pulling her into a gentle sway. Quinn didn’t let go of her other hand, so she found herself dancing between the two of them, feeling a bit like she was in a scene from a movie.
“See? Not so bad, right?” Jack said, his voice light and teasing.
“Not bad at all,” she agreed, laughing as they continued to sway together.
Cole, Trevor, and Luke were nearby, each of them doing their own version of dancing, Trevor of course going completely against the rhythm of the music. As the song progressed, Jack eventually stepped back, letting Quinn take over fully. Y/N looked up at him, their eyes meeting in a way that made her heart flutter. The earlier awkwardness she’d felt was gone, replaced by a sense of comfort.
“You’re a pretty good dancer,” she commented, trying to keep the conversation light even as her heart raced.
Quinn chuckled, his hand still holding hers as they moved together to the music. “Thanks. I guess all those weddings and family events paid off.”
She smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest that had nothing to do with the summer night air. “Well, you all are definitely making this night unforgettable.”
Quinn’s gaze softened, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the crowd. “I’m glad. You deserve it.”
“That is the second time someone has said that to me tonight.”
“Oh really?” Quinn’s eyes shined with amusement, “I guess that means it’s true.”
As the song came to an end, they slowly stopped swaying, neither of them eager to let go. But the upbeat music quickly returned, and the moment passed, replaced by the lively energy of the fair.
Jack reappeared, playfully pulling Y/N away from Quinn with a grin. “Alright, enough of the slow stuff. Let’s see if you can keep up with me!”
She laughed, letting him drag her back into the group where they all started dancing together, the worries of the earlier part of the night completely forgotten. They spent the next hour losing themselves in the music, joking around, and simply enjoying each other’s company.
By the time the band announced their final song, Y/N was out of breath, her cheeks flushed from both the exertion and the pure joy she felt. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun, or felt this free. And as the music wound down, the crowd began to disperse, yet the six of them had stayed together, watching everyone push their way out to the entrance of the fair.
Y/n all of a sudden felt heavy and she could feel herself growing increasingly tired. Trevor was the first to notice this, immediately taking a position by her side and letting her lay against him, “Someone’s getting tired.” His voice was light and teasing as he looked down at her.
She mumbled something incoherently, digging her face into the boy’s shoulder. The five of them laughed at her before agreeing to head back to the car. Trevor and Quinn took the main job of helping her walk back to the parking lot, all of them equally as tired as the girl, their feet aching. 
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
When they reached the car, Luke climbed into the back seat and watched as Trevor and Quinn helped the girl into the middle row. Trevor sat in the middle, Y/n on his left and Cole on his right, as Quinn hopped into the driver’s seat with Jack in the passenger side. 
Trevor shook her slightly, trying to get her to wake enough so she could tell them where she lived or where to drop her off. Y/n blinked her eyes open slowly, looking up at him, “Hm?”
“Gotta tell us where to take you, pretty girl.”
“Wanna sleep.”
Trevor chuckled, “I know you do and you can once you tell us where you live.” 
He slid a phone into her hands and she slowly typed out her address into the search bar of the maps before handing it back to him. He thanked her and handed the phone to Jack who then plugged the phone into one of the charging cords, Siri’s voice making its way to everyone’s ears through the speakers. 
Y/n resummed her position laying against Trevor. She shivered slightly, the drastic temperature change affecting her greatly. Trevor let a smile tug at his lips as he reached into the backseat where Luke was to place it around her. She whispered a ‘thanks’ before resuming her previous action, curling into his side.
Although she was tired, her mind didn’t seem to allow her to sleep so she opened her eyes and tried to find something to focus on. Her gaze landed upon Trevor’s arm, the one littered with tattoos. She couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them and she let her eyes trace up the length of his forearm to his bicep. 
Trevor could feel her stare and finally looked back over to her before speaking softly, “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothin.”
“I can feel you looking, sweetheart.”
She blushed at the nickname although the only tell tale sign was whenever they would pass a street light that lit up her face. He chuckled at her shyness before nudging her again, “You can touch if you want princess. I don’t mind.”
Y/n looked up at him, “Really?”
He nodded, “Go ahead.”
She hesitated at first before letting her hand lay atop his arm, her fingers slowly beginning to trace the ink. She let the silence comfort her and slowly lull her to sleep to start with but then the question burned at the back of her mind, “Do they mean anything?”
“Yes and no, but mostly no. Just things I thought were cool I guess.”
She let out a soft murmur of amusement and continued the path of the shapes his arm had. Slowly she fell asleep and before she knew it they were pulling up to her apartment. Trevor had to be careful with maneuvering her but eventually he was able to pick her up and carry her up the stairs. 
As respectful as Luke could, he reached into her pocket to pull out her keys and unlocked the door. Quinn, Jack, Cole and Luke trailed behind Trevor, all of them finding their way to her bedroom. The five exchanged looks as they stood watching her, “Should we leave or note or something?”
“Probably. I don’t know how much she’s going to remember when she wakes up.”
The others nodded in agreement and slowly filled out of her bedroom but not before kissing her softly on the head and making sure the covers surrounded her entirely and that the curtains in her room were closed all the way. 
They reached the kitchen and searched for pieces of paper, each of them writing their own note with their name and phone number scribbled underneath it. It wasn’t the neatest thing they ever wrote, especially considering that it was mostly dark inside the apartment. Soon after they all left, making sure the lock was secure before walking back to the car and driving away.
゚+*:୨୧:*﹤
In the morning, y/n woke up groaning slightly. She couldn’t remember what had happened last night except for the fact that she had been stood up. She sat up in bed and looked down at her arms which were clad in a sweatshirt she didn’t recognize. Slowly the memories of the previous night slowly came back to her and she couldn’t help the smile that graced her face. 
She got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, now noticing that she didn’t know if she would ever see the five again. That was until she noticed the five pieces of paper laid out on her kitchen counter, all in different handwriting. 
She made her way over to the counter, sitting at one of the chairs she had there and taking her time reading each note individually. The smile was predominantly stuck to her face as she typed each number into her phone, creating contacts for each of them. 
Finally, she made a group chat with all of them before sending a text, “Hey, this is y/n. Thank you all for last night, it meant a lot to me. I hope it wasn’t just a one time thing, I would enjoy seeing you all again.”
And within minutes of her sending the text, all of them had hearted her message and sent her each a message.
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𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗝𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗬 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗦 + 𝗩𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 + 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ୨୧
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 months ago
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Unconditional Love ~ BC
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⤜WORD COUNT: 1.7K
⤜PAIRING: Chan X Fem!Reader
⤜GENRE: established relationships, mummy issues, chan comforting reader after finding her crying, mummy issues are bought up, trauma dumping i guess as well, producer bang chan not idol chan, 
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
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The day was supposed to be something special between you and Chan, but everything went wrong at every single turn. The two of you had decided today was the day you were finally going to tackle painting the rest of the spare bedrooms in your shared home but you'd run out of paint on the third room, as well as accidentally spilt some of the new carpet on the top of the stairs, it was safe to say the day was going to hell pretty quickly.
Chan had text letting you know that the store had none of the colours you were using so he'd gone to the next town leaving you alone in the bedroom you were in, staring at the walls as you felt your phone buzzing excessively.
~Mum Calling ~
It had been ringing on and off for the last hour and a half and each time you just stared down at the screen, waiting for it to end only to pick back up once more. You had no idea how she managed to get your new number every time you got one or why she insisted on calling you from burner phones but you knew it was probably her going to everyone you knew begging for the new number.
Giving them her usual sob story about how you'd neglected to tell her you changed your number and as usual they felt sorry for her and gave her the number. Despite not knowing the true reason you never gave her your new number and why you refused to speak to her.
The two of you didn't exactly have the best relationship with one another growing up, instead of treating you like her daughter, she treated you like a bank and a punching bag for insults she would throw your way. Nothing you ever did was good enough in her eyes, nothing you ever did was good...at all for her.
Biting down on your lip you watched as the screen lit up once more with ~Mum Calling ~ but you made no move to answer it. You just watched as you waited for it to end, each time bringing up more and more painful memories for you.
All the times she'd scream in your face because you wanted attention, but you were a child...Children wanted attention from their parents. You'd done practically everything you could to get her to even pay you the tiniest bit of attention, staying in the top 1% of all your schools, getting incredible grades and giving your 100% in everything that you ever did but she didn't care.
The memories of her rushing out of the house every day to go on a spending spree of your father's hard-earned money were still burnt into your memory. Your birthdays were filled with nothing but a cupcake from the maid who had remembered it was your birthday and a card, signed by "Mum and Dad" But both signatures were your father's handwriting. Your mother didn't care and you knew that.
It had taken almost all of your life for you to realise that you meant little to your mother and that she hated you somewhere inside of her. Every conversation...on the rare occasion that you'd have one led to her screaming at you and insulting you about how you could never measure up the way she wanted you to.
~Mum calling~
Sighing to yourself you knew you were going to regret it but you answered the phone, not even able to open your mouth before she started the screaming match,
"What if I was dying?! Huh?! What if I was calling you because I was dying?!" She screeched,
"I'd hope you'd call Emergency services." You mumble a little, sinking against the unpainted wall behind you as you feel yourself shrinking at her words.
"You're the worst daughter in the world you know! You never come to fucking see me! Ever since your father divorced me and threw me to the side for that younger bitch you never see me!" She screamed making you roll your eyes.
Your father hadn't left her FOR anyone, he'd left her because - like you - he'd had enough of her shit and finally decided to leave her. Unfortunately for you, while he could hide from her for the rest of his days you couldn't count yourself that lucky. Your father served her with divorce papers and a restraining order, cutting off total contact with her and leaving her with nothing.
None of his money was hers thanks to the prenup his father had made them sign and she was left with nothing. Hence why she constantly called you, begging and pleading with you to send her a little money because her benefits didn't suit her lavish lifestyle, in her eyes.
"What do you want, mum?" You asked, cutting her off as she continued to ramble about what an awful man your father was when he'd done everything he could to make her happy in all their years of marriage until he finally snapped.
"Is that any way to talk to the woman that gave birth to you?! That raised you?!" She continued on but you ignored her. Raised you? If you counted shoving you in the arms of nannies from the moment she could as raising you then sure. But your mother had never been involved in any of that.
She merely palmed you off in the hands of anyone she could, your grandparents, the nannies...the maids. Even friends. You could still remember the one time you'd stayed over at a friend's home for almost two weeks because your mother had gone to Paris for a "break" a break from what, you never knew. Part of you had hoped she'd forgotten you there and you could live with your friend but your father collected you one night, apologising for not noticing you were missing.
The door to the bedroom opened and you glanced up at Chan who looked concerned, even though the phone wasn't on speaker he could hear your mother screaming at you through the line.
"Mum." You mouthed to him as he sat across from you and handed you a hot chocolate and watched as you took the verbal abuse spewing from your mother's lips.
"I just need a little money," She finally finished, turning on the sweet voice as you rubbed your temples.
"I can't." Your voice came out shakey as it always did whenever you denied her the money she was scrounging for which was every single time she called you.
Because of course, she'd never call you just to check in like anyone else's mother would.
"You ungrateful little fucking bitch! I know you have money! You're with that fucking producer! He must be loaded!" Chan looked at you, slowly shifting so he was sitting behind you, bringing you to sit between his legs as he held you in a comforting manner.
He hadn't known much about your family, he'd met your dad sometimes but the topic of your mother was avidly avoided whenever it was brought up and now he understood why that was.
"And unlike you, I won't beg my husband for cash," You spit at her, only earning another spew of insults flying in your direction but this time Chan took the phone from your fingers and hung up the phone for you.
"Chan..." You whisper as he goes into your settings, blocking her number before setting all unknown numbers to go straight to voicemail from now on and he smiles weakly at you.
"You don't need to deal with this alone anymore." He whispers, throwing your phone to the side and pulling you into a tight embrace, kissing your shoulder softly as you feel yourself relax in his embrace.
"I don't get it," You choke out between sobs, your heart breaking at the thought of everything.
All your life, all you'd ever wanted was a relationship with your mother like everyone else seemed to have. Someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally and be there for you. All your friends had someone they could turn to, their mothers waiting with open arms.
"Why am I not good enough for her?" You finally cry, hiding in Chan's chest as he starts to rub your back softly. Your body trembles as you speak, your voice heavy with everything you'd been holding back for so long.
"Why doesn't she love me? I've always...I've always watched everyone else with their mums, and they look so happy...W-Why don't I get that too?" You cried softly as he stroked your back gently, his heart aching with how sad you were.
"It's not your fault. You deserve...so much love and it hurts me to see you go through this...Your mother's actions don't define your worth, baby." Fresh tears spill down your cheeks but Chan brushed them away gently.
"It feels like they do." You whisper, your voice trembling now.
"I just...I want her to love me, to finally tell me she's proud of me but all she cares about is money. It's like I don't matter to her at all." Chan pulled you closer, pressing his forehead to yours as he rocked you both gently.
"You matter so much, Yn. To me, to your friends, to everyone who truly cares about you. I'm sorry your mum is so blind she can't see how incredible you are...How amazing her daughter is but it doesn't change the fact that you're fucking everything to me and so many others," He whispers as he cradles you into him, your tears soaking through his shirt,
"I know it hurts...but you're loved. You have people around you who care about you deeply... I'm here for you...always," He whispered as he continued to hold you, letting you cry for as long as you needed to in his warm embrace.
After a while, you finally sniffled and wiped your face from the tears,
"Thank you, Channie. I don't know what I'd do without you," Chan simply tightened his hold around you,
"you'll never have to find that out." He promises you, bringing a soft kiss to your forehead as you smile softly up at him.
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goldsbitch · 8 months ago
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Our wedding
Y/N and Lando probably went a little too overboard when planning their wedding. She finally looses it when his friend suggests a product placement bucket hat.
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A dream wedding.
Distant palazzo, with acres of private lands to roam around at night. Lavish dress, designed to fit perfectly and re-done three times. Coordinators, who made sure everyone who needed to be invited actually was. And also took care about almost anything one can imagine.
A perfect wedding, that's what they both wanted. Go big or go home. Combining romance, with generously giving everyone they loved, or deemed important, the time of their life. To say that this event was supposed to be extra would be an understatement.
Lando said yes to all of Y/N's wished regarding flower arrangements, menu items and rooming lists. She said yes to all of this ideas about the music, sound systems set up in each part of the venue (because heaven would turn upside down if there had been one quiet spot with no music, according to Lando) and drinks choices. They could not agree on the photographer - so Lando just booked his, and hers option as well. Saving money was not on the table. He knew that the amount of good PR and brand deals the Quadrant team managed to get together was going to pay out in the long run. Everyone loves a wedding.
That's where the first issues started - the amount of people invited grew into higher hundreds. She voiced her point few times, but Lando quickly shut those off with a promise to book a private charter for all friends and family who were coming from her homeland. She caved in and agreed to just few more CEO's she'd never met, as long as they did not share their table.
It was the final two months before the wedding and things could not be more hectic. They had to plan the wedding around Lando's race schedule, so summer break between races it was. Y/N had to juggle her job with all of this planning, so she attended less races than she usually would. Most of the calls she shared with Lando were wedding related and it seemed like his best friend Max took it upon himself to speak on behalf of Lando - so sometimes it felt like she was marrying Max rather than her fiancé. After a total break down she had few days ago, which resulted in her crying on the phone to Lando at 4 am his local time, they agreed she absolutely had to come over to the next race so that they could find some down time.
//
Having to endure a tiring overnight flight, she finally stepped into the hotel where Lando was staying at. Exhausted, jet-lagged and generally in a bad mood were the main ingredients in the perfect cocktail of "you should just avoid me" Y/N. She finally opened the door to his room and let out a groan. Traveling to see him used to be her favorite thing. A bombastic cherry on top was that she immediately recognized Max's voice coming from the living room. Was this guy staying in the same room as them now?
"Y/N, is that you?" she heard, desperately hoping he hadn't heard her enter in. She felt like a bitch for wishing that, but he was the last person she wanted to see at that point. Her hopes of jumping in the bed and cuddling Lando the first thing coming here dissolved like cotton candy, leaving tooth aches behind.
"Yes, Max, it's me," she said, not even bothering adjusting her tone to something more socially appropriate.
"Great, just on time. Can you come in here? We have some decisions that are becoming pressing matters," he said dryly and added his own frustrated comment quietly "...since someone does not feel like answering emails." She heard that, bit her lip and swallowed all her comments, otherwise she would explode.
"What's up?" she asked, entering the living space. There were dozens of baseball caps and buckets hats laid down on the coffee table with Max and some random young guy towering over them.
"We need you to pick out one of these which you'll be wearing after the reception. I have a great brand deal on the table which I need to close today. So, go ahead - pick one." She could not believe the words coming out of Max's mouth. Was he for real?
"May I ask when did I agree to wearing a baseball cap with my dress right after my wedding?"
Max glanced at her and then rolled his eyes. "Can you just pick one? Lando is on board with this, he'll be wearing this green one," he pointed to objectively very nice stylish item of clothing - but still, it was a bucket hat. Rage levels shot up in Y/N blood steam.
"Max, I'm suppose to be wearing my wedding dress until the evening, that's also in some deal you guys made," she proclaimed, hoping this would finally make him get some sense. "The dress is very classical, I don't think this would fit the vibe."
"Oh, come, we agreed to sticking to the Quadrant Athletes color palette and all of these check that. We want to break the classical vibe up with this."
"I'm sorry, who exactly is we in this scenario? And who the fuck are you?!" she pointed at the guy standing next to Max.
"I'm...I'm the product placement controller," he said in a shy voice.
Her eyes just went wide at that point.
"Y/N, no need to freak out again, you need to create a viral moment to make the brand grow," Max said, as if he was talking about a new merch launch.
And that was the final straw. "I'm getting sick of you guys making my wedding into a Quadrant PR stunt. You need to realize this is my wedding, not yours! The whole event is already dripping with brand deals and promotions, is there nothing out of line to you? Will my mom also have to wear one of these hats? Will force the officiant to wear sneakers? Where will you stop?"
Max stared at her, his own cup finally also full. But unlike her, he spoke calmly - again, giving strong business vibes. "Oh, I'm sorry - I'm sorry I am pulling heaven and Earth to make sure your wedding does not ruin your future husband! I apologize that I seem to be more stressed about this wedding than you are. Sorry for caring and trying to uphold some standard."
"Max, this is all too much! I feel like I'm suffocating," she tried to reason with him once more.
He just had enough at that point. So many little moments of mutual disagreement finally grew on him.
"Yeah, well maybe you're just not suited for this world."
Before she could even take a breath to respond, a familiar voice cut them both off.
"Guys, that's enough I'd say," Lando said as he slowly stepped out the same corridor Y/N had entered moments ago. Both Max and Y/N turned around, knowing they'd have spoken way differently had they known he was there as well.
Max gulped, knowing he stepped over a line and immediately started to apologize. "Mate, I'm sorry, we just sort of lost it. I'm sorry."
Lando glanced at him, his face suddenly hard to read for both his friend and his fiancée. He quickly flashed Y/N a look, seeing the obvious distress finally on his own, in a way the camera on a phone just does not capture. It pained him to see them two fighting, but it pained him more to see her on the verge of crying.
She couldn't find words to apologize to Max. In fact she could barely even see him, as Lando took all of her attention.
"Can you guys leave us for now? I think we need to talk alone," Lando said in a tone so serious that Max hardly remembered last time he'd heard it.
"Yeah, mate. Of course," he said shyly, gesturing to his companion to quickly exit with him.
Once the door finally clicked, Y/N felt like she could get out of her frozen state.
"My god. Lando, I knew it would be a challenge these few months, but I did not expect to grow so far away from you," she said, as the words flew out of her mouth without her being able to control it.
He was more careful with his words, but brave nevertheless. "It's true. I don't think we've even been so distant."
Him acknowledging it just made it real and hurt more.
"Right. At least we have that in common."
There was an awkward silence, something these two hadn't experienced in months.
"Why is Max involved so much?" she asked, hoping that she would not hear anything that would make her biggest fear come true - Lando's lack of desire to marry her.
He took a moment to get his point in the right order. "He's my best friend. This is our wedding. I can't stop focusing on racing, but I want it to be perfect. I'd say not giving him any credit sometimes."
Of course, he was defending him. She wondered if he defended her in front of Max sometimes.
All card on the table. She gulped before uttering the next sentence. "I'm scared that I don't want to go to my own wedding anymore. I feel like an unwanted guest."
They shared a look full of hidden pain. It was impossible to tell, but Lando was scared as never before. "What are you saying...Do you want to call it of??"
She looked back at him, praying that he would understand. "God no, that's the last thing I want to do," she sighed and put her head in her hands. How did it got to a place where he could even assume that? "Marrying you, the love of my life, is my dream. In fact, I'd just like to jump to the moment where I can finally say yes to you."
The air still felt really heavy. "Then let's do just that."
"What do you mean?"
Lando took few steps closer to her, missing her close proximity for the past few weeks. He desperately needed to fix them. "Let's book a wedding for next week in Monaco, just you me and any other people required by the law."
The idea of that seemed silly at first. But the more she thought about it, the more she craved that idea. "So, you want to call the actual wedding off?"
Lando chuckled at the image of them cancelling that at last minute and all the hustle that would bring. "No, silly, not unless you really want to. But who says we can't have a fake ceremony there, celebrate with everyone, while already being married at that point? We don't need to tell anyone, keep the magic for them. We can have two weddings."
It was her time to laugh now. "So because we find organizing one wedding hard, we're going to be doing two now?"
"We are anything but conventional. And if this is news for you then, well...That would mean I'm marrying the queen of delulu. Twice."
The weight of the past weeks was lifted.
"Does this mean I can say "No." at the big wedding?" she teased him, closing the distance between them and holding his hand.
"Not if I'll say "No." first," he winked and quickly gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm not wearing a bucket hat. Just stating that now."
"Oh come, at least one of our weddings," he said as he ruffled her hair. "Wow, I think you need a post airport shower, my love."
"Do not try and change the topic - no bucket hats!" she mumbles as she tried to fix her hair.
"Fine, I'll just get you drunk. You'll wear a bucket hat at one of our weddings one way or another."
It felt so good to just banter with him, like they always did before they got caught up in all the stress. A shot of guilt went through her system, as she flashed back at the whole process so far.
"I should probably apologize to Max," she uttered, avoiding his eye contact once again.
He finally hugged her. "Yeah probably. But...let him rot in his feelings for a moment. I hate when someone makes you upset. Apart from me, of course."
"What makes me upset right now is the alarming amount clothes you're wearing."
"That's my girl!"
//
They got legally married the following weekend, Lando bribing anyone he could in order for them to skip few spots that were unavailable. The first wedding was secret and full of inappropriate, but honest kisses. The second one was fake, but they slayed it together, as newly married couple. Without the stress of actually getting married, they really enjoyed their wedding. The little secret stayed with them - and Max of course, because he just had to get involved with everything.
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itsnevercasual · 7 months ago
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clarisse x reader where y/n had been noticing clarisse like getting distant( like not holding her hand for more then 4 seconds just small stuff that only y/n notices😭) and then the day percy breaks her spear she's mad and y/n trys calming her down but clarisse just yells at her about how clingy she is and to leave her alone and basically she regrets it and apologizes multiple times and after like a week y/n forgives her and it's cute (I NEEDDDD THE PLAYING HARD TO GET PLS I HATE WHEN SHE FORGIVES HER EASILY)
I Miss You, I'm Sorry
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pairing: clarisse x apollo!reader
summary: clarisse is distant and cold, and y/n is officially done.
warnings: none?? i don't think?
-
you'd been with clarisse for around three years now. at first, a lot of people were confused. clarisse was, essentially, one big ball of anger, and you were a ball of sunshine. after a while, though, it made sense. you balanced each other out. plus, clarisse was a lot softer with you.
but recently, clarisse had been acting different. ever since percy jackson came to camp, actually. she was a lot more angry. and perhaps it was because you'd welcomed him to camp and generally tried to be nice to him. you couldn't help it, he reminded you of your brother, who had a mortal dad and stayed at home with your mom.
when you'd sneak to the ares table during meals, she'd hardly acknowledge you. when you tried to hold her hand, she'd let you, for all of six seconds. you weren't sure why. you hadn't done anything to personally anger her, had you?
you must have. because even as the two of you got ready for capture the flag, she ignored you.
"hey, claire?" you said, turning to her. you were just about the only one she let give her a nickname, and you'd settled on claire. "can you help me with my armor? i think it's crooked."
"you can do it yourself, i'm sure."
you frowned. she'd usually jump at the opportunity to help you- to touch you, to breathe the same air as you.
what did you do wrong?
you had one of your siblings fix it for you.
-
luke had outrun you with the flag when you heard a scream from the beach. you recognized it.
"clarisse!" you shouted, bolting towards the sound.
when you got there, you saw clarisse sitting before percy, her broken spear between them.
you ran to her side and helped her up as the other team began celebrating their win.
"claire, i am so sorry about your spear. we-- i can fix it! or i can have one of the athena kids do it! someone should know how, right? probably. yeah, we'll have them fix it, and it'll be-"
"can you just leave me alone?" clarisse snapped.
you froze. pulled your hands away, and retreated into yourself.
"oh," you said, clearing your throat.
"gods, you're just so clingy! i just need five minutes of peace."
"oh."
that's when she seemed to realize she hurt your feelings. she sighed, her face softening, "y/n-"
"i'm gonna go."
"i didn't mean it like that-"
"yeah. i'm sure you didn't."
you crossed your arms as you walked away, resisting the urge to cry.
-
DAY 1
during dinner that night, clarisse came up to the apollo table.
"y/n?" she asked.
you kept pushing the food around your plate, ignoring her.
"y/n." she repeated.
she sighed.
"i'm sorry, i didn't mean it-"
without saying anything, you stood up and walked off.
clarisse didn't follow.
-
DAY 2
you were sitting by the lake, your feet in the water. you heard someone come from behind, and you knew who it was.
you sighed.
“y/n..” she started.
“i’m not talking to you,” you stated. you crossed your arms and kicked your feet in the water.
“please, i’m sorry—“
“i don’t care. you really hurt my feelings, clarisse. you could’ve just told me you want space instead of acting like you hate me.”
“i don’t—“
“just go, clarisse.”
she sighed and didn’t fight you anymore.
-
DAY 5
clarisse had done what you asked for the past few days. she didn’t come up to you or try to apologize.
you were getting ready for bed, braiding your younger sister’s hair, when someone knocked on the cabin door.
assuming it was some late night check, you sighed.
“i’ll get it.”
you walked over to the door and opened it, and clarisse was standing there.
you didn’t even let her speak before you shut the door.
“who was that?” lee asked.
“no one,” you shrugged, sitting back on the bed and resuming the braids.
-
DAY 6
“why don’t you just talk to her?” percy asked you. you offered to help him train with the water as best as you could.
“because. i usually do, but she’s been rude to me for a few weeks now. i just wanna makes sure she knows i won’t put up with it.”
percy shrugged, “makes sense, i guess.”
even though you had a poker face around clarisse, it did make you sad every time you shut her down or pushed her away.
you just wanted your girlfriend back.
-
DAY 7
after dinner, you really just wanted to go to your cabin and sleep. however, when you opened the door, a bunch of candles were lit.
“what the—“
clarisse was standing next to your bed with a bouquet of flowers. they were your favorites— hibiscus. they didn’t grow anywhere near long island, so she must have gotten a demeter kid to get her some.
“i’m sorry, y/n. i shouldn’t have snapped at you. i just.. i’ve worked my whole life at camp to be recognized by my dad, and percy gets all this fame and glory in a few weeks. it’s not an excuse, but i just.. wanted to explain myself,” she said, extending the flowers toward you.
you kept your arms crossed.
“i want to be around you all the time. i didn’t mean to act like i don’t wanna be with you, because i do. i mean.. besides, who else is able to calm me down?”
and that made you laugh, “nobody,” you took the flowers. “thank you for the flowers. no one’s ever gotten me these.”
she shrugged, “i figured it was about time you got your favorite flowers.”
you smiled and quickly turned to her.
“so.. we’re good?”
“we’re good,” you nod and plant your lips on hers.
-
a/n: YAYAYAYAT FIRST CLARISSE IMAGINE / BLURB / DRABLE IDK THE CLASSIFICATION!!!!
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enbysiriusblack · 1 month ago
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rereading lily's letter to sirius:
starting off strong with 'dear', very formal letter writing but also kinda endearing depends how you look at it. BUT she follows with his 'padfoot' soo it's def endearing. it already shows just how close the two are from those two words.
ofc harry's favourite present was the one sirius got him (#bestdogfather)
ofc sirius gets a 1yr old a toy broom (#funnestdogfather)
i love how chill lily is about harry almost killing the cat and smashing a vase. she's so the fun mum. also petunia and lily still sending each other christmas presents, like why do i find that so sad/sweet?? idk. i love their relationship sm it's so interesting. and ik some people are gonna be thinking 'oh petunia probably regifted the ugly vase' but no. i think she went shopping specifically for lily and picked it out thinking it looked great (she's got horrible taste)
lily saying james found it funny as if she didn't also. girl please, you know you found it so fucking funny. also james already planning out harry's quidditch career. the man is obsessed. (no war au hari def would've became a professional qudditch player i fear)
btw if you're not british, "we've had a very quiet birthday tea", basically means like an afternoon tea. they're not just drinking tea, they do have tea but also some food (like lunchy food, sandwiches and cakes) and sit down at a table and chat basically. and harry will likely also be opening presents during it too
harry kinda having a doting grandma with bathilda>>>
lily prioritising the order !! she's so responsible, smart, dedicated i love her. plus she's being so real about babies. like. yeah he ain't gonna remember it anyway (also i'm guessing this means like. sirius had an order mission so couldn't come to harry's birthday? but does this mean peter and remus did too? or was only sirius invited??)
james having trouble with just staying at home constantly <33 and trying to hide it so lily doesn't worry <333 cutest husband ever.
fuck dumbledoreeeee. i don't mind him sometimes, but how dare he take james' cloak (his family heirloom) so james and lily and harry can't go on secret outing together??? they are NOT made for staying inside. james needs his runs and flying and fresh air and chats to strangers and lily needs her woods and nature and hiking and camping.
"if you could visit, it'd cheer him up so much" SHE GETS THEM.. SHE GETS THEM
lily also calling peter "wormy", they're so also her best friends and not just james', do NOT even argue.
ik people argue this bit about the mckinnons as a proof lily was never close to marlene, but it so is proof of the opposite to me!! maybe i'm coldhearted, but i would NOT be crying all fucking evening just cause a family that i kinda know and am colleagues with one or a few of them got killed.. all evening??? ALL EVENING?? yeah, they were def close friends for sure. (and she's not just gonna single out marlene because it was ALL her family, it'd be a bit weird and disrespectful to only say marlene. especially if you, as a lot of people do, hc lily and marlene as roommates and close friends all throughout school. like lily would've visited marlene's family quite a few times. she'd know them fairly well)
lily getting ALL the gossip about dumbledore from bathilda. love that for her. also her not believing dumbledore was friends with grindelwald i'm giggling. she would've lost her mind at the idea of them as exes fr (also lily building up the suspense about dumbledore being friends with grindelwald by putting the "friends with grindelwald" part on the next page so he'd have to read the next page.. she totally didn't just run out of room. that was on purpose)
"lots of love" SCREAMING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SM. lilypad ily. lilypad ily. bestfriends fr!!!!!!!
also not related to the text itself, but severus taking the page where lily says "lots of love" and cutting lily out of the photo of harry on his broomstick like... FUCKING MAN.. that was for SIRIUS. that's lily's love for SIRIUS. don't take her love, she didn't fucking mean it for you, don't try to pretend it was you, you absolute wanker.. anyway
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girlgenius1111 · 1 year ago
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matching injuries, matching fits
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part 2 of acl tear #2 acl couple #4
surgery day for reader!
If there was one thing you were grateful for, it's that the surgery was outpatient. You hated hospitals, so at least you wouldn't be stuck in one for any longer than necessary.
Accompanying Leah for her surgery just a few months ago didn't help settle your nerves. You remembered more than she did how much pain she'd been in, and it scared the hell out of you. Leah had handled her surgery so well though; she never complained. She was frustrated, sure, but Leah was good at handling pain.
Your relationship was so new, and you didn't want to seem like a baby, so you tried to hide how nervous you were going into it. Apparently you weren't doing a very good job.
"Are you nervous, darling?" Leah asked, looking over at you from the driver's seat. You just shrugged in response, continuing to bounce your good knee up and down rapidly. She reached across the center console, intertwining her fingers with yours. You sent her a weak smile, and she returned it, much more enthusiastically. You remained silent all the way to the hospital, and through the prep. Leah was growing more concerned, watching you grow paler and paler as the clock ticked by. You were so in your head, she could practically hear you thinking.
"Hey, love," she said, gaining your attention. "It's gonna be fine, okay? They do this every day, and I'm gonna be right here when you come out, alright?"
"Yeah, I know. Sorry," you said, blinking back tears. She stood from the chair she was sitting in, walking over to the bed you were laying in. She leaned down, blonde hair falling into your face, wrapping you in a tight hug, as best she could from her position. You hugged her back tightly, burying your face in her sweatshirt, the feel of it on your face making you feel better.
Leah had come home yesterday with a new matching pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt for you, calling it your "comfy surgery outfit." You'd teased her for it, but appreciated her thoughtfulness. You'd really teased her this morning when she appeared out of the closet wearing the exact same outfit. Leah was adamant that matching with her would make you feel better.
Leah stayed hugging you for longer than was probably comfortable, before pulling back, hearing the nurses come into the room. You looked up at her nervously, realizing it was time. She gave you an encouraging smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead, the tip of your nose, and then your lips, before whispering an I love you against your mouth. You really smiled up at her then, whispering the words back. Leah watched as they wheeled you off, more nervous than she'd been for her own surgery.
-----
When you blinked awake, the bright lights of the room immediately assaulted your eyes, and you closed them again, sleepier than you'd ever been in your life.
"Hey baby," a voice whispered from right next to you. Cracking one eye open, you saw Leah looking at you, sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding your hand tightly in hers.
"Leee" you said happily, puckering your lips for a kiss. Leah. Man you loved her. She was so pretty, so perfect.
"Hi love," she said, laughing, before kissing you sweetly. "How are you feeling?"
"So good. They gave me a whole new knee!" You said, grinning. Leah laughed again, quite amused at your state. Suddenly though, the smile dropped from your lips, and you looked at her critically.
"Leah," you started seriously, although you were still slurring your words slightly, "you should get bangs."
Leah burst out laughing, not expecting that at all. Her laughter was cut short, though, when you looked at her in horror, your face flushing red. She watched, as if you were in slow motion, as your bottom lip jutted out, and your eyes filled with tears, like a cartoon character. She'd laughed at you!
"No, baby," she tried, but you were already crying. She was having to work even harder not to laugh at how fast your mood had changed, as you cried into your hands. "Don't cry, I thought you were kidding,"
"No! You hate my idea," you wailed, and Leah's hands fluttered uselessly over you, trying to figure out how to stop your tears.
"Woah, what'd you do, break up with her?" came a voice from the doorway, and Leah turned to see Viv and Beth walking in, looking amused. Leah scowled, but turned her attention back to you.
"I'll get bangs if you want, my girl, anything you want," she said, pleading with you. Your tears stopped comically fast.
"Really?" you asked hopefully.
"Yes, baby, seriously," Leah replied, fully convinced you'd laugh at the idea with her when you weren't high anymore.
"Bangs?" Beth asked, as her and Viv took seats on the other side of your bed, looking at Leah with a smirk.
"Wouldn't she look so good with them?!" you replied, staring intently at your teammates. Viv's poker face was much better than Beth's, and Leah glared at the blonde, not wanting you to start crying again. Viv elbowed Beth.
'Yes, so good! She'd really rock a fringe." Beth said enthusiastically, and you smiled, not aware you were being teased. Now Leah was glaring for a different reason, but at least you seemed content. You all chatted for a little while longer, until you got the go ahead from the doctor to leave.
Leah got you changed back into your matching outfit, and when Beth and Viv reentered the room, they were once again fighting fits of laughter.
"Leah picked them out, she wanted to match," you told them, and Leah blushed furiously, having not thought ahead to your friends seeing your matching outfits.
"That red really brings out the color in your cheeks Williamson," Viv joked, referencing Leah's deep blush, and the crimson clothes she had on, because what color was Leah going to get you guys, blue?
Grumbling slightly, Leah helped you into the wheelchair, and the four of you set off to the car. Beth and Viv helped get you in, before they headed to their own car, promising to stop by with dinner later. Leah gave them both hugs before getting in the car, quietly thanking them for their support.
Since they'd found out about your guys' relationship Beth and Viv had been interested to watch the change they'd noticed in Leah. She was normally a serious person, but she was serious with you in a different way. She looked at you so intensely, and they didn't know how'd they'd missed that the 2 of you were together; the look on her face when her gaze met yours was one of someone fiercely in love. Leah wasn't normally one to express her thanks in such a forward, vocal way, but when it came to you, it seemed like all bets were off. They smiled to themselves as they walked back to the car, watching out of the corner of their eyes as Leah fussed over your seatbelt.
-----
Leah got you home and into bed with little drama, and no more tears. You were sleepy again, and she made sure you were asleep comfortably before heading downstairs to obsess over the post op instructions she'd gotten. Even though they were the same as hers, and she probably could have written them, she still read every page, back to front, not willing to risk anything.
When she went to check on you around 45 minutes later, bringing with her an ice pack to replace the one that would be warm by now, she found you in a decidedly less comfortable, and less happy, state than she'd left you. You were still laying in bed, but your face was screwed up in pain, and there were tears leaking out of your eyes. You were staring at your knee, which was propped up in front of you, glaring at it. Leah hadn't been expecting the pain to hit so soon, but clearly, it was.
"Oh, baby, why didn't you call for me?" she asked, having left you with strict instructions to tell her when you woke up. She sat on the edge of the bed, using her sleeve to gently wipe the tears off your face.
"Didn't wanna bother you," you mumbled, and Leah looked at you, confused. You seemed more out of it than you had been before, and she figured you were just still loopy.
"You could never bother me, pretty girl," Leah said, watching as your lips turned up into a watery smile. "You can't have anymore pain medicine yet, but I can brought you some ice," she said, carefully unwrapping the ice wrap from around your knee and replacing it.
"Thanks," you said softly, still looking slightly teary.
"What else can I do, love?" She asked, hating to see you so upset.
You thought for a moment, eyes fluttering open and shut as you fought sleep again. "Hold me Lee?" you asked quietly. Leah recognized the vulnerability in your voice, and nodded softly. She climbed into bed next to you, ever so carefully, shifting to allow you to lean back against her. You settled your head on her shoulder, tucking your nose into her neck.
"Goodnight," you said drowsily, snuggling closer to the blonde. She smiled down at you, not thinking it important to let you know that it only mid afternoon.
"Goodnight, baby," she responded, kissing the side of your head gently.
You drifted off, the pain in your knee somehow dulled by the beautiful girl next to you.
-----
part 3? if yes please give me ideas
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thecowinblack · 6 months ago
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Hi! Can you write a Luke Castellan x female reader, where they’re dating, Luke has a 4 year old little sister (daughter of Hermes) who is inseparable from him and the 3 of them act like a cute little family? I also had a thought of him calling them ‘his girls’. Maybe even a little angst at the end about him betraying the camp and seeing the two of them through an iris message comforting each other before sleep, bc his sister can’t sleep without him.
Thank you so much for sending this request, it was a lot of fun to write and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! 💕
His girls
Pairing: Luke x Reader
Word count: 972
Warnings⚠️: Fluff, against, blood and injurys
..................................................................................
Your table was completely empty since all of your siblings were away, they'd give home over christmas. Seeing everyone laught and have fun with their siblings made you feel so left out. Suddenly you felt two arms wrap around you, Millie. The 4-year old was probably the cutest human being in the entire universe and she always managed to paint a smile on your face.
“Luke is back! He's in the Apollo cabin, their checking a wound.” She told you excitedly. Luke had been gone for almost a month now and you'd missed him so much. Rushing up from the bench you ran to find him, Millie short after.
When you arrived at the Apollo cabin you told Millie to wait outside, if Luke was bleeding a lot then she shouldn’t see it. The first thing you saw was Will treating Luke as he sat in one of their hospital chairs.
“Luke!” You said, happily.
“Y/N!” He coughed. You resched his bed and saw a ginormous wound in his stomach. Fear filled you, what if he wouldn't make it? You couldn't lose him! Millie couldn't lose him. As if saw the fear taking over your eyes Luke mumbled:
“I'm going to be alright sweetheart, when they are done patching me up wouldn't you mind getting Millie?” You answered: “She's waiting outside, I didn't want her to get scared if there was lots of blood.” Luke har you a week smile and you took his hand sitting down in a chair that stood next to his bed.
After about like thirty minutes Will was done and Luke fell asleep. You called Millie and she came and sat in a chair next to you. You reached out for her hand and explained that he was fine, Luke would recovered fully in a couple days and then he could go back to practice. While you were calming her Luke woke up.
“Hi my sweet girls, won't you give me a hug?” Millie basically jumped on him and it was only when you said: “Careful!” She calmly hugged him. Both of them now looked at you and with a sight you hugged him to, you just couldn't say no to these two. Laying your head at Lukes chest he sweetly combed your hair with his fingers, you looked up and kissed him gently, afraid that it somehow would hurt him. He giggled like a child and kissed you harder, like a boy who'd been away from the girl he loved for far to long. Behind you Millie clapped her hands excitedly and a small laugh escaped you.
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“Millie are you coming? Luke is waiting for us by the water!” You shouted, waiting for Luke's little sister. The two of you were supposed to meet with Luke by the lake ten minutes ago. Millie hadn't left her cabin yet. You decided to check on her in the almost empty Hermes cabin that you'd been waiting outside of. Walking in you saw Millie crying in the middle of the floor. “Oh gods what's wrong sweetie?” you said lifting her up and hugging her.
“I can't find the bracelets that I was going to give to you and Luke. I made the pearl's and they were so pretty, then yesterday I put them on my nightstand but now they're gone!” She cried. “Alright I'll help you look!” You said walking over to her nightstand.
A few minutes later the bracelets were recovered and you and Millie where walking down to the lake. The bracelet she'd given you was adorable; they were colorful and had your initials on. Luke had a matching one with his initials. As you finally arrived at the lake, Millie riding piggyback on you, Luke waited a bit from the water.
“Lukeeee!” Millie shouted.
“You’re finally here! What took you so long?” He asked rushing forward to take Millie from your back and placing his hand in hers and Millie quickly took your hand in her free one.
“Well Millie lost something, but we found it!” You said handing over his bracelet, which you had in your bag, filled with towels and bathing suits.
“Oh Millie it's beautiful, thank you!” He told her as Millie giggled. When you got to the beach you all changed into bathing suits and jumped into the water. Millie decided that the three of you were going to watch Percy trying to impress Annabeth with his water manipulation, it wasn't going so very well. As you stood there Luke threw his arm around your shoulder watching Millie play with the small water horses that Percy had created. Your little girl was giggling and laughing as they ran on the surface around her.
Luke thought that he'd never meet anyone even half as perfect as you. And as you stood there, watching Millie, he wondered how he'd ended up with these perfect girls, his girls.
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You'd just finished reading Millie a bedtime story when she'd fallen asleep in your arms, no one in your cabin had a problem with her sleeping here after Luke's betrayal. Millie had just cried and cried in the Hermes cabin, not being able to fall asleep without her brother so you'd taken her here. Your bed was more than big enough. Listening to her snores you fell asleep, falling into the world of dreams.
Luke had meant to speak to you, he expected you to be awake when he Iris messaged you, as you'd always had trouble falling asleep. What he didn't expect was his girls curled up in your large bed. A book was sitting at your night stand and he could see your face. You were calm, happy with her. But something seemed to be missing in the large bed, a space that looked like they were saving, saving for him.
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starringthesturniolos · 6 months ago
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bite me(part 6)-Matt Sturniolo
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part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6
summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.
contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)
A/N- THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA SAD but y'all will be alright, trust. a lot of violence in this chapter so by all means if that is not your thing please don't read. I want everyone that reads this to ENJOY it. love yall, bye!
matts pov.
the drive back to my house was silent. even with my heightened sense of hearing, I could only hear the sound of our breathing and the quiet hum of my engine. two minutes ago, she had been crying and I saw into the darkness that was her life. key word, was. between the protection spell and me, no one is ever going to hurt her again. a dark thought pops into my head, and ,unlike any other time, I welcome it with open arms.
"do you want him dead?" I mutter, letting the thought free. I said It quietly, but it sounded like I might as well have screamed compared to the quiet of my car. it made my skin crawl and judging by the look on her face, it made her's crawl too. "what is that supposed to mean??" she whips her head to me with fear in her eyes. merciful. I added that to a list of chracteristics that y/n had that I subconsciously accumulated in my own head. even though he hurt her in the worst ways, she'd never want anyone to lay a finger on him.
"he's my dad, matt!" she panics taking my lack of response as a promise that I would go back to her house and finish him off. I put one arm up in defense. "I was just asking. you panic too much, someone should go check your blood pressure.Jesus." I scoff, playing it off as if I wouldn't have gotten rid of him the moment she told she wanted me too.
she slumped back in her seat, clearly relieved. its right then that I notice the dark circles under her eyes. she's tired, and humans need rest. "go to sleep, you look like shit." I quip. if she were in her right mind, she probably would have said something back. instead she brings her knees into her chest and puts her head on the window. her eyes close and in a few minutes her breathing and heart rate slow. she's asleep and my eyes stay on the rough, pot - hole infested road. all the way home, I dodge the holes so she sleeps fine.
unreasonable fear hits my chest at my own actions. when did you start to care so much? is the question I ask myself as I gently lift her sleeping form into my arms to bring her into the house.
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y/n is in the other room, and I wake up to my phone buzzing incessantly. I pick up my phone to see that nick is calling me. "he disappears off the face of the earth for two days and all of a sudden he wants to chit chat at the crack of dawn", I think to myself before smashing the accept call button in annoyance. "what?" my gruff voice answers in a more than grumpy tone.
"I need you to come to meet me, now! I'll send you my location. do not bring anyone with you, and do not to take your sweet ass time either matt." he says seriously. I can hear in his voice he is fighting to keep himself from sounding panicked. sensing the danger he's in, worry surges through me, and I can't help but wonder what he's gotten himself into. "don't worry nick, im coming." I say back just as seriously before hanging up the phone and rushing out the house.
I drive over as fast as I can to the unknown spot. it's just a clearing of trees and grass where two cars are parked side by side. ones nicks' and the other is someone's I don't recognize. I hop out of the car quick on high alert. nick where are you??
"you think you can just take my daughter and get away with it. I'm sorry son, but you're in for a real treat." says a terrifying voice that-unless god forbid I took another girl to my house tonight- could only be y/n's fathers’. I turn slowly to see him, a tall, burly man. he's holding nick close too him, a knife pressed lightly against the sensitive skin of his neck. regulary, I would look at this and shrug, vampires aren't supposed to be able to die. but nick's neck is bleeding from where the knife lightly grazes him. vampires can make other people bleed, but they themselves can't bleed, at least that's how it's supposed to be. even though the wound wasn't deep enough to be lethal, the wound itself was the problem to begin with. All thoughts aside, I lunge forward to grab nick away from the man but he dodges with unnatural speed. he smells human, but he's quick, too quick, which can only mean one thing.
y/n's dad is a fucking lunatic magic user, and, based on the position he's got me and nick in right now , he's a damn strong one too.
he throws nick to the side right then, and nick flops to the floor gasping for breath and clutching his bleeding throat. I freeze in fear for what's happened to nick. for what is going to happen to me. he waves the same knife he had pressed against nick at me in tauntingly cold, cut motions.
"matt, run" nick says weakly. my feet listen to nick's instructions, and I turn to bolt, only to find the powerful magic user right in front of me in an instant. before I can react, he plunges the knife into my stomach in three quick motions. unbearable pain laces through me and I feel something coming that I never thought I'd ever have to experience. that something is death.
"should of asked for a protection spell yourself." he lets out a cold, hard laugh as I drop to the floor slipping into an abyss of darkness.
@bbernard-03
@sturnthepot
@hoeformatt
@sturtriple16
@faygo-frog
@sturniol0s
@katie-tibo
@cindylcuwho
@I34n
@chrissv4amp
@sturnslimited 
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lazyneonrabbitt · 10 months ago
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Daisy chains
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Gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams
Daryl Dixon x Reader
Daryl gets separated after the prison attack. He comes across a home for him and his kid to hole up in. Your home.
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Daryl was running.
Running from walkers, from anything or anyone that could hear them.
Him and his daughter.
His selfish act of hiding a personal stash of formula and other necessary items to care for his toddler who fussed against his chest as he made his way through the area. She slowly starting to pick up volume as the fussing became full on crying and he had to start running to keep away from the dead she unknowingly lured.
"Shh, please. Yer wakin' the dead with yer cryin'." His hand held the back of her head and rubbed soothing circles on her skin, jogging to keep a rocking motion going as he moved on.
In his frantic search he spotted a house at the edge of the forest and decided it was the best option they had.
Circling the home he found the back door unlocked and locked it behind him, barricading it to the best of his ability.
Click.
The unmistakable sound of a gun right behind his head made him stop dead in his tracks, carefully raising his hands and thus letting go of his daughter's head.
Fhe loss of contact had her starting to sniffle and cry again and all Daryl could do was slowly turn around to reveal the two of them.
"Was runnin' from walkers." One of Daryl's hands lowered back to stroke his child's head while keeping the other one up. "She'd been cryin', drew 'em in."
You lowered your gun and clicked the safety back on. "You can feed her here." You weren't happy with other people being in your home, but sending away someone with such a young child wasn't okay in your books. "What can you provide in return?" You walked back into the hall and waved for him to follow. In the kitchen you showed him your stash and handed him a jar for his kid. "You can have this if you can promise me to provide."
Daryl agreed immediately. He knew he could hunt as soon as he figured out if he could trust you with his kid. Most people would kill him and her for being a liability. A redneck and a toddler weren't high on the list of saught after party members.
"After she eats, lay down with her. You two clearly went through hell." You kept a close eye on them for the remainder of the day, needing to know if the man was planning anything besides hiding but up til sundown he still hadn't shown any signs of hostility.
You watched as he put her to sleep and sat back down to rest. "You never introduced yourselves. What do I call you?" You leaned forward so you could speak quietly as to not wake the sleeping toddler.
"M'Daryl. Lil' one's Daisy." You exchanged introductions and both felt okay enough around each other to sleep.
Daryl stuck around inside the house for two days, watching you like a hawk whenever you interacted with Daisy.
"Hey." He found you on the couch with Daisy asleep next to you after having eaten. "Ya good to watch 'er while I hunt? Try'na be back before dark."
If anyone watched the scene from afar they'd assume the two were a couple.
You were surprisingly comfortable with having others around these days, and Daryl was beyond happy he found someone to help with Daisy. He was happy to hunt for you, he was good at it and he'd be proving his worth.
Daryl kept his word and came back before dark with a small deer and to say you were excited was an understatement. You were probably the world's worst hunter so seeing Daryl come back with a week's worth of meat was a huge turn on.
Or maybe you were just deprived. Daryl didn't seem like someone who'd let you jump his bones for any and all reason so you just had to ignore the feelings for as long as needed.
Ignoring lasted for two weeks.
The three of you were living together so comfortably. You brought back way more than needed on your runs and Daryl made sure the area was secure and you always had meat for somewhat balanced meals.
As time passed Daryl started to get the need to find his old group. See if there were survivors he could reunite with but he didn't know how to ask you for a portion of your supplies. You had already been so kind to let him stay and offer the two of them so much. He also felt weird about leaving you here. Separating Daisy from someone she clearly bonded with hurt him too.
Any idea of leaving just felt wrong, unless you'd all leave.
You started to notice him being distant, fidgety all the time so you sat down with him one evening.
"What's eating you, Daryl?"
He glanced up from cleaning his knives only to grumble at you, not answering at all.
"Come on. It's clear you've got something on your mind. Tell me, please?"
With a huff he put his items away and slumped back against the couch. "S'mah group. Gotta find 'em. Dun wanna leave ya alone."
"I'll come." It was an easy decision, really. You helped watching Daisy and he knew the woods well enough to travel through them. "I've got no one, you got them. It'd be good for us all if we found your friends."
Daryl nodded, happy you were on one line and offered to plan their leave, take a few days to prepare and rest up before starting their trek.
Daryl had lived in that house for three only weeks, but still it felt weird to leave it behind. He carried Daisy against his chest and his crossbow slung over his shoulder.
You had food, medication and sleeping supplies strapped to your bag, Daisy's items being in Daryl's luggage. You learned more about Daryl now and also learned from him.
He was an expert huntsman and tracker, leading you from your home to a torn down building that used to house people from the looks of it. You two cleared the needed amount of walkers before settling for the night.
"How do you always seem to know where to go?" You felt so lost out here, but Daryl marched on like he knew the area.
"Been trackin" my whole life. Know wha'm lookin' for."
The next day he quietly talked you through his vision, what he spotten and what it all meant as you moved on with your journey. You were learning and having fun doing so.
While he carried Daisy he let you try out his crossbow which resulted after a week of trying, in your first dinner kill.
That evening you sat close to him as he showed you how to skin small game and roast it over a fire.
You scavenged and hunted on your way, spending every moment together. You were enjoying it and so was he.
When a storm hit you managed to hole up in an old house just in time. It was fhe first night you kissed.
The storm caused the temperature tondrop, and the broken windows caused a lot of wind to gust through the house. You had wrapped Daisy in a bundle of blankets while Daryl worked to get a small fire started. You shared a large blanket, sitting shoulder to shoulder with your legs a tangled mess.
You could feel his gaze on you, quickly looking away each time you tried to catch him but eventually managing and softly laughing, pulljng even closer to him and resting your head on his shoulder. "You can stare, it's okay."
Your hand went to reach for his, making him look down into your eyes. He saw yours flick to his lips and back up and mimicked your gesture, watching you as you leaned closer to him.
"It's okay." Your voice was barely above a whisper, your fingers now intertwined and Daryl still felt comfortable.
With a steadying breath he leaned into you to close the gap, pressing his lips against you in a kiss that warmed you both more than the fire or blankets did.
From that night on you slept in each others' embrace whenever you could.
"Hey," you jogged to catch up with Daryl's strides. "Your group, is Daisy's mom a part of it?"
Daryl scoffed and replied with a stern "No."
"She ain't got no mom." It was clear from his tone he wasn't going to share anything else so you dropped it, falling in with him in silence.
You traveled like that for a while, not speaking unless it was needed until you came across a barn to rest in.
Daisy was tired and all the traveling had her fussing and crying and Daryl couldn't get her to quiet down in his tired, cranky state.
"Let me take her for a bit. You need to rest." Daryl tried to protest but he knew you'd win. He'd always let you win when you had disagreements and honestly he was too tired to even try at this point.
So now you cared for her, managing to make her crying stop and let Daryl sleep while you kept your ears open until you yourself dozed off too.
When you woke up the next morning Daryl was already up and about, keeping Daisy occupied and making sure she ate before you set out again.
Daryl fell into step beside you on a long stretch of road, glancing over at you with Daisy in your arms.
"Her mom.." he sighed deep. "She were a ..a girl, mah brother paid. Thought I needed ta get laid more often." The topic had him anxiously fiddling with the frays on his gloves. "She disappeared fer months. Dumped 'er on mah doorstep an' left."
Oh. You understood now why he never wanted to talk about it. But now you knew the basics you didn't ask further.
You also had to keep your mouth shut before your thoughts escaped.
'I can be her mom, if you let me.'
You weren't sure how he'd respond to those words spoken out loud, even with how close you had gotten over time.
So you kept the words inside, only showing your love for the two of them through actions.
"Ya listnin'?" Daryl stopped and turned to face you, almost having you run into him lost in thought.
Had he been talking to you for long?
You looked up from the road to look at him but all you clould focus on was the giant gate at the far end of the road.
Daryl took your hand in his and took you with him. Within minutes you were standing beside him in awe.
"We're 'ere."
ALEXANDRIA SAFE ZONE
~~☆☆☆~~
A/N: That single dad fic I promised! I hope it's what y'all hoped ♡
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tan1shere · 1 year ago
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Slumber Party
Ellie williams x fem reader!
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A/n: Hello my lovelies, first post on here (more active on wattpad) but thought I'd occasionally post here when I'm bored. If you have any requests at all they're definitely open! Also this is kinda short but I don't plan on making the next part as short. Enjoyyyy ☆°•
My masterlist
Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend
Warnings: smut, (not in this chapter) read at your own risk (mdni) Dom but soft, protective, ellie! Reader is quite innocent, is very soft also. Cunnilingus (duh- also not in this chapter) your girlfriend in this is an asshole. Abuse, somewhat angst, crying. Lmk if there was anything else!
Pt 2 here! ~ pt 3 here!
Ellie hated Isabel, your girlfriend. She treated you horribly, and Ellie really hated when you'd bawl your eyes out over the phone to her whenever Isabel would storm out of your shared apartment. She hated the fact anyone would make you cry. She never liked seeing you unhappy. Isabel shared this hatred. She never liked you hanging around Ellie, even if you have known Ellie almost all your life. She would scold you after everytime you and her would hang out. You'd come back to the apartment smiling. "What're you smiling about?" You just smile more happy to tell. "Ellie she makes the funniest jo-" "I don't like you being round her Y/n." You would always stare blankly at her, struggling to find the words, leaving your mouth open while you ponder.
Today was not off to a great start. Ellie had just been over, you two were having such a great time. "I should probably get going squirt." She would flash her smile at you, ruffling your hair slightly, as she stood to go to the door. Ellie was a bit older then you, and come to think of it so was Isabel. Let's just say you had a thing for older ladies. (Only by like 6 years) You also stand up, seeing her out and saying goodbye. But as you open the door you're met woth those dark brown eyes. Isabel had just arrived back from work. She glares at the auburn haired girl, making her way inside. "Well hi to you too." Ellie scoffs then looks at you. "Text you when im home." You give her a small nod and a smile before she leaves to her car. You turn around to be faced with a stern Isabel. "You know how I feel about her being in our home. Especially when I'm not here." You never really talk back to Isabel you always apologize and go into the kitchen to make food. She was truly a bitch and she started showing her true colors the moment you two moved in together. You never understood what you would do so wrong. You made every dinner. Every lil food she'd want. The laundry. Just to please her. And although it'd work, it'd never last. "I'm sorry Iz.. She just really wanted to show me this art she was working on and in person. Nothing more I swear." She let's out a scoff. "Why should I believe you it's almost every day you spend with her. It's sickening and pathetic." You stare at her as she says that. She would always make you feel stupid. When in fact you were quite smart you knew what most things meant. Maybe not so much bedroom stuff. But you were book smart nonetheless. Speaking of bedroom. You were basically a virgin. You've kissed Isabel many times done a lil something here and there but it was definitely not much. So you were certainly not confident on that subject. Although Ellie would tell you all sorts of stories about the girls she's been with. It fascinated you to learn all these new terms and what everything was. "I promise to talk to you before hand next time-" She instantly cuts you off. "Why are you still standing here. Cook, I've been working all day." She spits going to your guys shared bedroom. You sigh doing so. And that was your life.
It was maybe a couple weeks after, you had felt like you were coming down with something so you decided that bed rest was the best thing. It was now 3 in the afternoon. You were sleeping in your bed when the door busted open. "What the fuck are you still doing in bed it's almost 4!" Isabel was home and not happy. You sit up a bit. "Yes I know I'm sorry bu-" She drops her bags. "This place is a mess, there's dishes out. Foods not even ready. Laundry is still in the hamper. What fucking else." You look at her softening your look. "Iz, I'm sorry- I woke up feeling horrid so I decided to stay in bed." She shakes her head. "Even when I have the worst headache known to man I still get my ass up and work. You know all that sweet money, I work for that. And you work here that is your job." This was one of the moments were you'd feel bad for yourself. Weak. Weaker right now considering you're sick. You look down at the sheets. "Are you even listening to me? You spoiled brat." She doesn't do what she does next often but when she does you know you're in the shit. She hits you. Hard. "Wonder why I have a headache all the time. It's you and your whiney voice. Look at how pathetic you are." She glares down at your drowsy figure. You feel tears finally sting as you had held them in. Refusing to let yourself be so weak, but you give in. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions right now. "What the fuck are you gunna be like when I go away in a few weeks huh? You better keep this place spotless you know about the cameras. I'll be watching you." Yes. The oh so lovely cameras. They're only in the kitchen, living room and laundry. The only places you slave away at. "I will iz I promise." She hums. "I'll believe it when i see it. I needa go out and grab some stuff. Make sure dinners ready when I get back." She says before getting her keys and leaving. You then sob. Letting it all out as you shakily grab your phone going to the only person who knows how to comfort you. Ellie.
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When she arrives not long after, giving a honk. You go outside and get in the passenger seat. "Off anywhere?" You shake your head. "No that's alright. I don't want to get yelled at.." Ellie sighs. "Bub, you can't keep letting her treat you like this-" "if I left I'd have nowhere to go Els.." She keeps looking at you. "Yes you do. Mine." You let out a small breath looking down at your hands. "Everythings so messy." She nods, even if you can't see. "I know angel but my offer still and will forever stand. I think you should take it." You just wipe the small tears forming at your eyes. "How was your day?" She hates how you change the subject. She always has. She wants to talk about it with you more. Comfort you more. "Pretty easy going. Do you want a hug love?" You shake your head. "Its best if you don't come near me right now-" "I promise it's not gunna affect me if you cry. You know that." You nod. "I know, but I'm sick- thats why she yelled at me.." She furrows her brows. "She got mad at you because you weren't feeling well? What a fucking bitch." You sigh, in the midst of a slight cough. "Angel you should go back in and rest. Let me help-" You immediately shake your head. "She'd know you were there. I- I couldn't risk that." You always felt awful. Not because you got yelled at but because she would want to pick a fight with Ellie too. Ellie was older then Iz too, more mature. Never bought into her crap. "I'll make sure she doesn't yell at you, you really need rest you work your ass off-" You stop her talking. "I don't want her to try anything with you Els." She shakes her head. "She won't. I promise just let me make you some soup and tuck you in. Please, just that." You contemplate whether or not you should but you nod regardless.
She was making the soup trying to be as speedy in hopes she wouldn't bump into Isabel. "Here you go. Say you made it for yourself. I also cleaned a lil." She sends you a wink. And when she says a lil she means the whole lot. "Els, you seriously didn't have to." She smiles gently. "No but I wanted to. I also made something else. Knowing grump would be hungry when she gets back." You look at her so thankful. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you." She gives you a kiss on the head. "Call if you need anything else. I love you." She says while looking in your eyes. "I love you too Els." You respond sweetly. Oh how stupid you were to realize how INlove she was with you. But she plans to show you sooner or later. As she's the one you should truly, be with.
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Burn Out
I would. Absolutely do the cast but. Consider. The casts parents instead.
Also as you can probably guess, I'm feeling burnt out so my writing may not be as good as it usually is but fuck it we ball. Yes I will be using headcanon names for the Cast Parents because. um. I can.
Family Headcanons here if you want to read.
Also there's no Diasomnia except for Sebek. Sorry. Don't attack me please I beg OTL NO SPOILERS PLEASE OTL ----------------------------------------
Dr. Carlotta Rosehearts is not the type of woman to be easily impressed. Burn out is something only the weak experience, though if you weren't raised by her, she can hardly blame YOU for your poor constitution. While she's not all that sympathetic, she can find a small, easy task for you to complete to feel like you've been productive, useful, and otherwise intelligent.
Dr. Lawson Hatter, Riddle's estranged (engineer) father couldn't be any MORE experienced with burn out. He's awkward, he's odd, but his antics are sure to put a smile on your face. He can spot someone trying to work through burn out easily - not in his house baby, he's spinning that chair around and away from the desk, you're coming to get snuggled up and watch a movie with him and his kid(s). He'll make you tea (or coffee if you want it), a bunch of snacks, and promises to help you with your work later. Right now is time to let that all go and let your brain be mush for a bit. It's okay.
Amelia and Tarrant Clover - they're a little burnt out constantly themselves, but there's always room at the table for one more. Their home is only a good option if you like little kids though, because they WILL treat you like you're their big sibling almost immediately. They don't mean to come off as a little uncanny, but they genuinely do love having guests so much. Be prepared for So. Much. Food. If you can't really handle the hubbub of the family, that's okay too. Amelia will invite you to join her for her evening prep. She has a way of making you let all those feelings come out when it's just the two of you, and by the time you're done crying, she's got fresh banana bread and hot chocolate in front of you, with a pat on the back. She'll hug you if you want it too.
The Diamond couple have way too much tension between them to be of much help to you. Cater's older, but not eldest, sister, Catrina, is rather reserved and quiet when she's allowed to be. She'd be the one to take you into her room, do your hair, maybe some aromatherapy and tai chi. She's learned a lot of ways to relax over the years, she's just happy to share it with someone who is too exhausted to be fake with her. willing to let her help.
Dylla Spade hi, hello, did you want to make a top three guardians list? Dylla is there, promise. There is no overworking in her house. She can appreciate the dedication, but 1. you are actively harming yourself, 2. you should never work that hard in a workplace, why are you doing it for free /hj. She'll try to interrupt once or twice with the bribe of a small snack, or with going out somewhere, but if you're stubborn she's got to pull out the big guns. Big guns being she puts a photo of baby Deuce on the desk next to you and tells you if you want to know the story you're going to stop, go take a shower to give your brain a transition period out of work and go meet her in the kitchen. She's not the best cook but by god you know everything she gave you she gave with love.
Jack Trappola-Hearts is not Ace's dad, (ew, says Ace in the back of my mind), but his big brother. He's got a humble, somewhat dated one-bedroom apartment. He'll sleep on the couch though, so you can have the bed. (If Ace is there, Jack will sleep on the floor). He likes keeping you entertained and smiling, so he'll take you around town to (free) but fun areas. He doesn't expect you to verbally respond if you don't want to, and if you need to, he'll happily create a way for you to communicate when you're ready to go home. He'll keep you distracted from your responsibilities and burdens until he knows you can tackle them full force again.
Falena Kingscholar has a BIG and BRIGHT personality. He means the best, but he can sometimes be a little insensitive to your efforts, (as he was to his brother). He's also very busy and repressing his own burn out and Other Emotions, but don't fret. Kifaji will look after you. He's careful to not hover, but he always pops in with exactly what you need. He can't be as attentive as he would like, but he does know where the younger prince used to sneak off for naps. He may or may not drop a hint or two as to where those places are, and he may or may not have made sure to set the area up with soft lighting, music, blankets and curtains to give you some elevated sense of privacy without being overwhelmed by your surroundings (hopefully).
Vovó Bucchi (yes I borrowed a headcanon name provided by @kamiraaah (sorry for the tag, if you want it removed lmk!! ^^) can't help but make fun of you a tiny bit, but it's all just to remind you that hard work is meant to be rewarded. Hard work is meant to be balanced out with something else. While you're clearly bright, you're apparently not bright enough to realize when you need a break on your own /lh. She'll ask you to tell her about the things you HAVE accomplished over the past month while cooking food for the family, (and yes, having you be her taste tester all through out it), and wait til you're done to ask what you've done to motivate yourself to keep going. If you've got nothing, she's going to tell you to come home with Ruggie at the end of every other week. Yes, home. You're hers now. Good luck escaping custody.
Citlali and Ande Howl couldn't be more opposite in how they try to help you through burn out. Citlali is just a 4'2 ball of energy and affection, you best believe she's got hugs for days, homemade quilts to pile on you, a hot chocolate she meant to give you about 40 minutes ago but forgot while she was rambling, (she'll heat it back up), a child to hand you - wait, no that's going to her husband, that's not your responsibility. She'll talk your EARS off, but you come to love it. Ande is much more stoic, a little intimidating to some, and very awkward. Mans does not know how to come off as friendly. He offers a hug if you need it. Best hug of your life. He will also show you where you can go to brood get a breath of fresh air and relax.
Clara and Ginerva "Nonna" Ashengrotto (you MAY NOT call Nonna anything but Nonna. Only Nonna's friends can call her Ginny, and 'Ms. Ashengrotto' is her daughter.) Clara and her mom are both all too familiar with the dangers of burn out. You get burnt out, you make bad decisions, bad decisions lead to trouble down the road and honey you do not need to make your life any more complicated than it already is. Sit down, stuff your face, listen to jazz, be happy. Basic rules. Your plate will not be allowed to be empty, be prepared to probably eat so much you pass out, which will be the one and only bad decision you make that day, but it's better than Nonna asking why you ain't eatin' her cooking. If you do get too full, don't worry, they'll tease but they'll pack up what's left and the other 27 meals they prepared for you to take home. (Nonna is partially deaf so you will have to raise your voice a bit so she can hear you clearly).
guysguysguysguysguysguysguysguys it's my favourite next do you know who's my favourite I know who's my favourite I literally wrote this just so I could write for her do you know who's my favourite fuck YEAH YOU DO
Valeria Leech (and her husband I guess but I'm pretending Constantine Leech is not there because I want to focus on the queen that is Mama Fucking Leech)(He would be kind of detached anyways he doesn't know you and he doesn't owe you nothin', his wife just said he wasn't allowed to eat you). ANYWAYS. Mama Leech has a lot of energy, Floyd had to get it from somewhere and it is absolutely from his mama. While she can be a little all over the place, clearly her boys appreciate you if they went through the effort to bring you to her, and that means um. You're her kid now too. She will treat you like she treats her sons. This means an overwhelming amount of physical touch (she will tone down if asked or if her husband reminds her that not everyone is comfortable with that), a lot of food being offered to you, you get the (second) best bed in the house, she has already bought you new clothes- ordering on land clothes, but also things tourists to the Coral Sea would wear. Because how can you expect to overcome burn out when you're stuck in a rut and nothing has changed. You need a good sleep schedule, a good meal, and a way to feel fabulous about yourself. And probably a hug and a good cry session. And maybe a hobby to let out all that steam, do you want to learn to fight hand to hand or do you want to collect tiny glass figurines, she'll buy the same subscription as she has if you want she LOVES little glass figurines they're cute and delicate just like elvers are. She will cry when you have to go back to land, promise her you'll call her if you need her for anything. Whether it's a hug or hiding a body. She's got your back. Also in the top 3 mama's tbh but I'm very very very biased but I also still think I'm right.
Akram al Asim is a little lost on what to do, but Kalim cares about you, so so does he. He doesn't really know what to do on an emotional basis, so he gives you money and tells you that if staying in the palace is too much, you're welcome to go stay in one of their private mansions instead. And if you need more money to just ask. So staying at "home" and having someone cook and clean for you while you get to do nothing is a 10/10 way to help burn out. He does not know how to help people that are stubborn or reject his gift unfortunately, he just kinda stands there like a deer in the headlights, then just welcomes you to stay in his home as long as you like. (This is a bad idea, you're a friend of Kalim's and given the family dynamics we know about you may very well be used as leverage, um. yeah. That's not very cash money.)
Nasir and Amani Viper can offer their home and to share dinner with you, but they are kept busy all day. They can recognize burn out - they've seen it in their son, and experienced it themselves, but they've never gotten a break to work through it. They'll tell you to rest, to eat, to make yourself at home, but it's a little awkward to relax when everyone around you is working.
Eric Venue oh dear. oh dear, oh dear oh dear. Burn out is a killer of creativity darling, and we simply cannot have that. Again, not someone who can help all that much directly, he'll toss a little money at you and get you into a luxurious spa to get you to relax again, to rejuvenate your skin and your mind. Also concerned for your mental health and MAY have paid off a therapist to become your friend so you'll never know you're receiving therapy throughout the entire thing, you'll cry, you'll let that out, and you'll never see that friend again. But you don't know that yet and for now you feel better!
The Hunts fall into the bottom category of parents. Ibis Hunt, Rook's next eldest sister (bc I think the Hunt's named their kids after birds), will try her best. She practically raised Rook, so she knows what a good night out by the campfire can do, campfire dinner, marshmallows, a couple goofy songs on the guitar, and a horror story if you think you can handle it. She'll keep your mind off of things.
Meemaw (Marja) Felmier can and will bop you over the head with her cane if she sees you trying to work when you clearly can't anymore. "You're so worn slap out y'ain't got 'nother ounc'a thinkin' in there. Y'got a hankerin' for somethin'? I'll fix it up right quick. Come on now, carryin' on on an empty stomach ain't gonna fix y'problems." She purposely has you sit on the comfiest chair on the house, layers you up in blankets, gives you a stuffy and warm apple cider because she KNOWS you're gonna pass right out. And when you wake up, there will be Marja's famous apple crumble with homemade vanilla ice cream waiting for you, trust.
Dr. Isla and Rodian Shroud are HUGE advocates for self care, but know sometimes it takes another person to pull you away from what's frustrating you. Isla will GLADLY take you on in a gaming competition - and she might even take it easy on you. And you'll hear her full Aussie accent come out any time you over take her in the equivalent of Mario Kart. Rodian is much more likely to be subtle in the way he helps, asking you to come assist on a project. Idle prattle turns into a deeper conversation that lets you open up to him, and the simple tasks he gives you to make you feel like you're being useful help a lot too. If you do end up crying, he'll offer a hug, and then a place to sleep off the rest of the emotions. You'll wake up to a 3D printed figurine of your favourite animal, cookies, and a thermos that kept the milk cold. The last of the Mom top 3 imo. (Mom's do not include grandma's btw thus the exclusion of Vovo and Marja /lh)
Baul Zigvolt okay listen. Modern day? I can't help imagine him with a big beer belly and a laugh to match. He's lost all the intensity he had in chapter 7 (thus far, no spoilers please lol). If you're feeling burnt out, he's giving you food the way he would have given it to baby Sebek - he's still adjusting to humans, so forgive him for cutting everything up so small, but hey, hopefully you won't choke? And some water. He's got a lovely voice, so with your permission, he'll read to you or tell you stories from when he and Lilia were younger - or if you really want it, he'll sing you to sleep...that's his goal anyways. He will not let you sleep in though LMAO, you went to bed early, get ready to be up at the crack of dawn lol.
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Anyways, thanks for reading my Partially Coherent Ramblings. Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist
@my-cursed-brain @fluffle-writes @distant-velleity @starry-night-rose @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @lumdays @nemisisnemi
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teaboot · 8 months ago
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Hi! (just a personal ask. Sorry if it's not okay to ask for advice out of nowhere but I wanted to see an outer perspective and didn't wanna ask my friends. No pressure to answer of course but I would love to hear your thoughts!)
Is it normal for me to feel overwhelmed about something I want? I am just starting med school and it's a lot but I am fighting. And in my culture, parents buy their daughters their like things?? (like towels and bed sheets and a fridge. Anything they can buy except the apartment basically) for marriage from a young age. But my mom just started recently. And when she first bought me something. The idea of getting married & being a doctor (both things I want) felt like too much I teared up. My mom said I was being spoilers I guess?? Like I was ruining a good moment? Of course it is not that serious since I wasn't outright crying, and I just laughed afterwards as I felt silly lol ,but It got me thinking if I was being that dramatic.
This honestly felt like the moment in the movie where the mom hugs her daughter and says something like "oh how much you've grown" . Her retort felt like it was out of the script.
If you find time to answer, please be extremely blunt. Because I know for a fact I have a tendency to exaggerate things.
You are not overreacting. You are not exagerrating things. And I'm going to tell you this, because I experience this, the tendency to downplay your own feelings and recollections of events very often comes from having other people do it to you first. People tell you your feelings are wrong, or stupid, or irrational, and you learn to listen to them instead of yourself.
It makes complete sense that coming up on a major cultural milestone would make you feel excited, or scared, or overwhelmed. It sounds like you came upon the first step of a very big change and the reality of it all hit you at once, which sounds completely normal and expected!
Fuck, *I* used to get that about moving houses, and YOU'RE expecting shit like marriage? Holy fuck! I'd be a complete mess! The fact that you're level-headed enough to ask questions and process your feelings and talk things through is impressive, because I think I'd be losing my mind.
Personal story, but when I turned 17, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to a restaurant to celebrate. When I told her that it sounded nice, but I'd rather have dinner at home with the family, she told me I was a selfish narcissist, and that I was so busy thinking of myself that I didn't consider that other people might have been excited to go out.
At the time, I thought she'd been harsh but ultimately correct.
Now, I see that she had decided what kind of perfect evening she had wanted, and had expected me to play the part in the movie she had written herself. It had never been about what I wanted at all- it had been about her personal desires and expectations.
And it's normal to feel frustrated about things that don't go the way we want or expect, but lashing out at others is not an appropriate way to handle those emotions.
The way we feel cannot be controlled like a machine. The way we feel is usually not a problem. The problem is what we do, and the choices we make based on those feelings.
Children throw tantrums and sat mean things because they haven't learned better yet. They don't have the practice or experience. Adults like your mother and mine should have that on lock, but often don't, especially if culture or tradition or social expectations tell them their actions are justified.
If I had to take take guess, I'd say it sounds like your mom gave you this gift with an idea in mind of how she wanted you to react. She probably wanted you to be grateful and praising and sweet, so she could fulfill the role she envisioned for herself, and when you deviated from that picture, she was disappointed. From that perspective, it would seem that she felt slighted, and that she was owed your gratitude, and you were at fault for withholding it.
This perspective makes sense, in an emotionally immature sort of way, but would completely overlook your feelings, which are just as important.
Your exact situation is not one I've been in before, but if I'm correct in my assumptions (which I may not be) then I'd suggest keeping an eye out for other instances of your perspective and feelings being minimized.
Are you often told you are behaving irrationally? That you're over-emotional? That you're self-centered or greedy or entitled? Are you told that you don't remember things or do things as you're told? That you see problems where there aren't any? That you male trouble where there is none? That certain conversations aren't worth having, or that "you're always like this"?
It sounds like you know that something is off. I'd encourage you to keep asking questions and follow your instincts. At the end of the day, your life is your own, no matter where it came from.
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muffinpink02 · 8 months ago
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Bronze Is Better Then Gold Part 4
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Warnings - smut 18
“Right, it's only a small cut. I’ll give it a clean, just to be safe.” Lauren H said, as she opened up the medic bag.
“Thank you.” Ona sighed. 
“This might sting.” 
“It's fine- oww! That hurts.” Ona scowled. 
Lauren laughed. “I did say it was going to hurt.” 
Lucy walked over to the pair, a look on her face that Ona didn't like. 
“The boss wants to talk to us.” Lucy looked between her and Lauren.
Ona let out a sigh, forgetting about the sting of the alcohol on her cut. “Shit.”
Lauren packed away the medical bag. “You’re all done. Good luck guys.” She scurried away.
Lucy drove them back to the office. She looked over at the younger brunette, she looked more scared now then she did on the bridge. “Don’t stress too much. She's just going to be a bit pissed, but it's not going to be that bad. Trust me, I’ve done worse.” 
Ona looked over at Lucy, a small smile crept on her face. “You sure?”
Lucy scrunched up her face and waved her hand. “Pssh yeah, she's a pussy cat.” 
They drove the rest of the way in silence but it didn’t feel strained or awkward, it was needed after what just happened, it was comfortable like it was before. 
Sarina wasn't a pussy cat, but she wasn't as angry as Lucy thought she'd be either. 
“What were you thinking, Ona? No, don't answer that, I don't want to know. I’ll tell you what you were thinking. Nothing! Nothing smart could have gone through your head when you decided to run off and chase an extremely dangerous criminal without your partner, without any backup. You didn't even have your gun! It was the most irresponsible thing an agent could do, and you did it. I expected better from you, Ona.”
Ona hung her head. “I’m sorry.”
“She just didn't want him to get away, mam. if it makes you feel any better she did a number on his face.” Lucy chuckled lightly.
Sarina now had her attention on Lucy who was standing next to Ona. 
“Don’t you start. Don't think I haven’t noticed a shift in you. I don’t know what's going on with the pair of you but I want it sorted.”
The girls shifted awkwardly on their spots.
Sarina sighed. “Leave.”
The girls left. Neither looking back. 
The thing is, Ona wouldn't tell you this, but she had run after Slims in some small hope that Lucy would talk to her again, to even have her look at her for longer than 5 seconds. It was also out of instinct but in the back of her mind she was hoping if she caught Slims, Lucy might want to be her friend again. She knew it was silly but she was desperate. But, she probably did the reverse, and made Lucy even more angry with her.
Only if she knew that when Lucy had got home that night she broke down crying the moment she closed her door. The older brunette didn't get further than her hallway when she felt the hot tears streaming down her face.
A rush of emotions hit her hard. Seeing Ona in danger like she did today was a complete shock to the system. Lucy had felt completely helpless, seeing the younger girl trapped like she did, the pain she was in, and she couldn't do anything to protect her. It was one of the scariest positions she’d ever been in, and that’s coming from someone who has had several guns pointing at her. Not all at once of course, but the girl had been in life threatening situations. But this was scary, and it was scary because it was Ona. 
And she should know better, this wasn't the first time she had been in a situation of losing someone close to her. She was just thankful history hadn’t repeated itself. 
That's when she sobbed harder as she thought about how she had treated the younger girl this last month. How horrible she had been to her, hardly talking to her, being so fucking cold towards her, how selfish she had been. If she had lost Ona today she would never have forgiven herself. She knew she was handling the situation badly, and this was a wake up call.
The thought alone at losing Ona in any way frightened her deeply. She realised if Ona wanted her as just a friend then she was lucky enough to have that. Even if she did want her as so much more. 
She knew she needed to fix things.
She took herself to shower, washing her puffy face, her head was banging from all of her crying. She took a deep breath as she washed the day away. She made her way to her bedroom and looked at her phone, she began to type.
Lucy - Hey, can I pick you up tomorrow?
Ona was drying her hair when she got the text from the older brunette. Like Lucy, she had tried to wash the stressful day off herself, especially her hair. She was shocked to see a text from the older brunette. And when she read it she was even more shocked and slightly confused. Why did she want to pick her up? She was annoyed at how her stomach fluttered, she did still like Lucy after all. But those butterflies died quickly, she assumed Lucy was probably going to give her a hard time about her actions, tell her how foolish it was to run off without her partner. She dried the rest of her hair before she replied.
Ona - Sure, I’ll see you then
Lucy smiled, it wasn't like their texts before, but it was a start.
—-------------
Lucy pulled up in her spot where she would always park, she smiled when she saw the shorter girl sitting at her usual spot on the wall. The northerners' hands were sweating, she really hoped it wasn't too late to make things up with Ona.
The Spaniard took a deep breath as she approached the car, she braced herself to be scolded by Lucy. She kind of regretted agreeing to this, was it too late to run back to her flat? Ona sat in the passenger seat, looking over at Lucy with a timid smile, she was understandably nervous. Lucy had been nothing but weird with her, and frankly rude, she was unsure what she could have wanted.
Lucy smiled a little awkwardly at the younger brunette, she could tell the Spaniard was confused and maybe even a bit scared. Ona wasn’t really herself around her anymore, it broke her heart to see, but she knew it was her own fault. 
“Morning.” Lucy smiled.
“Good morning.” Ona breathed out.
Nearly 10 seconds had passed, Lucy was struggling to find the words that she had practised all last night.
“Ona, I...,” - “So..,” Both girls spoke over the other, making them nervously laugh. 
Lucy took a deep breath.
“Ona, I don’t really know where to start. I’m sorry for being such a dick. I know I’ve been weird this last month. I was just going through some personal stuff and it’s no excuse but it got in the way of my work and affected my relationship with you. And I regret it. I’m really sorry.” She breathed out. “I fucked up, but I really hope I can be your friend again. And if you don’t want that, I understand.” 
Well, Ona wasn't expecting that. Was she happy to hear Lucy apologise? Yes, but she couldn't help but wonder, why? Why did Lucy act that way? They were so close before, close in many ways. She wanted to ask what Lucy meant with ‘personal stuff.’ but she didn't want to rock the boat, this was already a surprise. And a happy surprise at that, Ona wasn't one for holding grudges, even though Ona was young she was just a little more mature than some people her age, and maybe older. 
Ona looked at Lucy, doing that thing where she could see into her soul, her big brown chocolate eyes looking right at her. 
She smiled brightly. “Sí, you were a dick, but It’s okay, these things happen. I would really like to go back to how we were, friends.” 
They both said the word loud and clear ‘friend’, the pair flinching at the fact that they both had said it. But that's what this relationship was now, and always had been. Friends.
“I err, also got you some fresh coffee and some fresh chocolate chip muffins.” Lucy held up the bag smiling gingerly. 
Ona chuckled sweetly. “Okay, that makes it a little better.” 
Lucy felt a little tension leave her shoulders as she passed Ona over her coffee, it may not be perfect but was a start.
—-------------
“Do we have to listen to Christmas music everyday? Mariah Carey is getting on my nerves.” Lucy covered her face in annoyance. 
“Get a grip Bronze, it happens every year. Stop being a grinch!” Jess shouted across the room, laughing with Lauren H.
It was the second week of December, Ona eyed up the newly hung Christmas decorations around the office. She couldn't keep the smile off her face, the Spaniard loved Christmas, it was her favourite time of year.
She loved the music, the food, the gifts, the drinks, the cheesy Christmas movies, but most of all she loved that it was an excuse to be with your loved ones. Though some years were hard, not being able to share it with her family. Her fondest memories was when she was a child, herself and her brother used to try and keep each other awake to spot Father Christmas, though they never did. 
The first year Ona arrived in London she had spent Christmas alone. She had hoped to get a call or card from her parents but they never did. She tried to call, but they didn't answer when they saw it was her number. Her brother called her secretly, but that only hurt her more.
Her friend's face timed her throughout the day, but she insisted they spent the day with their families, not wanting to bother them. So, she spent Christmas alone, she even went into the new years alone.
She had never cried so much in her life. It hurt her, not being able to be with the people she loved, but her parents didn’t want anything to do with her, even if it was Christmas. 
But, since her friends moved to London she had spent every Christmas, New Years and everything in between with them. They would make their traditional festive food, play their music, and partake in the traditions they did when they were children. So, for Ona, Christmas was still a holiday she loved, even if she couldnt spend it with her blood family, she spent it with the family she chose.
Ona and Lucy were watching Jill, Demi and Jordan decorate the Christmas tree. Well, it was more Jill telling the others that they were doing it wrong, moving a bauble every time they placed it on a branch. 
“No! What are you doing? It’s already too crowded down there. Giss it here, you obviously can't reach higher than half way up. Yous put all the decorations at the bottom. No. Jordan don’t hit. You know I’ll have you on the floor.” Jill laughed.
Ona and Lucy chuckled at the show in front of them. “Would Jill really be able to beat Jordan?” Ona asked.
Lucy scoffed. “Not a chance, Jill knows it too.” 
Ona watched on. “Hmm. Tea?” 
“I’ll do it, you made tea last.” Lucy got up and made her way to the kitchen.
Since Lucy apologised just over a week ago she had been trying her best to make it up to Ona. They started going for lunch again, they even went back to the chip shop, Lucy brought Ona on her first week. The texts came back, but they weren't as often, though that was kind of expected.
Lucy even got Ona to agree on taking lifts with her again, but it wasn’t hard, it was December and cold. And yeah, it was still the Spaniards favourite part of the day. But Lucy didn’t need to know that.
It quickly went back to how it was between them, but the flirting had stopped. Well, kind of. Sometimes it had a way of creeping itself in, but neither girl minded, they would laugh it off and change the subject.
It wasn't too different, just a lot less tension. Well, it was a different kind of tension, but neither girl could really understand what it was, it was just…new.
Did Ona get butterflies every morning she got in Lucy's car when the brunette gave her that smile that she loved? Yes. Did Lucy find herself completely mesmerised by Ona when she stuck her tongue out in contraction when she was making notes on her laptop? Yes.
Did they still have feelings for each other? Yes. Did they want more than to be friends? Yes. Did they have the guts to be honest with each other and tell the other how they feel? No. It was complicated.
—-----
“As most of you know, yesterday Harvey Smith or ‘Bugz’ was sentenced to 20 years in prison, with no chance of parole. We also managed to track down most of the members that were involved in working for the Smith brothers, they were sentenced to 10 years. So that's the good news” 
Lucy looked at the white board with all the criminals' faces plastered on it. She continued. 
“Frank Smith's body hasn't been retrieved from the river, we understand the river does lead out to the Thames so it's more than likely it may possibly never be retrieved. The case will be officially closed once the last bits of paper work are complete. Jordan, I'm looking at you.” 
“Will be done by Wednesday, boss.” She nodded.
Lucy smiled. “Okay great, well done guys. This case was an intense one, but you've all done amazing. So, thank you and well done. We’ll start work on the ‘Green’ case next week. I know Hempo’s already got many leads on that. Anyways it's Friday, it's half 4. Rose and Crown it is.”
The group clapped and cheered on closing a case, and of course the mention of the pub. But mostly for putting criminals behind bars. An hour and a half  later most of the team was in the pub. Ona was listening to Demi and Mary argue about what the best Christmas film was when she got a text on the group message. 
Alexia - hey guys, I just wanted to let you know i'm going home this christmas, my mum is getting angry with me for not going, will be gone till after new years. I’m sorry 🙁 Ona my mums asked for you to come.
Mapi - I was going to tell you guys tonight but ingrid has asked me to go with her to Norway for christmas and new years to meet her family, I said yes and we bought tickets already 
Ona felt her heart sink. She felt stupid for it but her eyes started to well up. The thought of spending this Christmas alone really wasn't something she wanted. Even though Alexia had asked her to come she wouldn't accept the offer. Her parents lived a road away from Alexia's parents, she would never chance bumping into them. It would hurt too much knowing they would ignore her if they saw her.
She quickly excused herself and ran to the bathroom, she could feel the tears just about to overflow. She opened the door and crashed into a hard body. 
“I-I’m sorry. I wasn't looking. Oh. Lucy.”
Lucy smiled but it instantly dropped when she saw Ona’s face, her beautiful brown eyes welling up with tears.
“Woah, what's wrong?” She gently put her hand on Ona’s shoulder.
You know when you're already about to cry and you're holding it in as much as you physically can, but someone asks ‘what's wrong?’ and the flood gates open up? Yeah, that's exactly what happened to Ona. She felt the first tear slip, then another, until her cheeks were wet. 
“Oh Ona, what happened? Talk to me.” 
Lucy felt her heart break seeing the younger girl like this. She didn't think about her next move; she just did it. She brought Ona close to her chest. Pulling her into a tight hug. She felt so small in her arms, so vulnerable.
She was the perfect height to fit under Lucy's chin, that's when she felt her body shake from the small sobs. She hugged her even tighter, rubbing her hands up and down Ona’s back in the most gentle motion. 
Maybe it was because of the drink in her system, or the horrible memories she had of her first year here, that she never thought she'd have to experience again, or the fact that she was in Lucy's arms.
When Ona let go, she cried and sobbed. She just needed a little comfort. She needed this so badly. And Lucy was more than happy to let her cry into her chest for as long as she needed.
After about 5 minutes of crying Ona took a deep breath and pulled back, she saw the wet patch she left on Lucy's shirt. 
“Oh, sorry Lucy.” She pointed to the dark patches. 
Lucy looked down at her top and smiled. “It's not the first time a girl got me wet.” 
Ona laughed through wet eyes, only Lucy would say something like that while Ona had just been sobbing. She just wanted to make her laugh and she did. Ona had to shake the inappropriate thoughts from her head.
“What's wrong, Ona?” Lucy grabbed the shorter girl's shoulders, her serious face was now on. 
“It's so stupid, I don't even know why I’m crying like this.” She sniffled. “My friends aren't going to be here for christmas and new years. So, I'll be alone. And….yeah, its stupid.” She shook her head at herself as she wiped her tears. 
“That's not stupid. It makes complete sense why you’d be upset.”
Lucy didn’t know if it was the drink, or the way her heart broke for the petite girl in front of her, or the fact that she wanted to spend any moment she could with Ona, that her next words came out. “Spend it with me.” 
Ona looked up at the older brunette. “What?”
“Yeah, I’m staying with my parents for Christmas. Come with me.” She smiled brightly.
“I couldn't do that.” Ona lied, she could definitely do that.
“Yeah you could. It will be fun. I also have a party I’ve been invited to for new years, you could come with me. Or if you’re not into that we can just spend it together.” 
She wanted that so badly. 
Ona felt her heart pounding. Was this really happening? Her emotions were all over the place. One minute she was a mess of tears, now she could run through the pub and do summersaults. Don’t get her wrong she was sad about her friends not being here for Christmas, but spending any time with Lucy was still something she wanted everyday. 
“I can see a smile creeping on your face. You'll come, yeah?” 
Ona wanted to argue more, she wanted to say no. But she couldn’t bring herself to, she wanted nothing more than to be with Lucy. So what was the point of lying?
Ona nodded, a shy smile plastered her lips. She really hoped Lucy wanted her to come and it wasn't just out of pity. But the smile Lucy gave Ona made those feelings melt away. 
“Good, it's settled, you're coming to mine for Christmas. I’ll be driving, it's a 4 hour drive, you better be a good DJ.” 
Ona threw her head back laughing, that laugh always did something to Lucy. 
“You know I have the better music taste.” Ona teased. 
“Yeah, yeah. Just no Christmas music.” Lucy playfully rolled her eyes.
A silence fell over them, both not knowing what to say, but wanting to say so much. 
“Thank you, Lucy.” Ona wiped her nose.
“You don't need to thank me. It will be fun. I’m going to the bar, what do you want to drink?” 
“Ah, an aperol spritz?” 
Lucy shook her head, smiling. “I don’t know how you drink that. It tastes like petrol.”
The Spaniard laughed. “You just don’t have taste.” 
“Yeah, yeah.” Lucy squeezed Ona’s arm as she started to leave for the bar. “You okay, yeah?” 
“Yeah, thank you.” Ona smiled. 
The older brunette made her way to the bar, she couldn't hold back the smile on her face. Did that really just happen? Was she really going to be spending Christmas with Ona? She felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas day. She waited to be served, when she felt someone beside her.
“Hey Lucy.”
“Hi Jen.” Lucy gave her a tight smile.
“Aye, listen I’m sorry about Ona, I didn't know you two were a thing at the time. I wouldn't have said what I said,”
“We’re not a thing.” Lucy finally looked at Jen. 
“Oh? Could have fooled me.”
“What?” 
Jen chuckled. “Come on. I’ve seen you two around. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And you her.”  
“We’re just friends. Partners. We have to be close.” 
“Aye, yeah, friends.” The Scottish women winked at Lucy. 
“We are just friends. I thought you two were a thing.” 
Jen scoffed. “Are you blind? She likes you. I should've realised when I spoke to her at your birthday. The girl wouldn't stop talking about you.” Jen rolled her eyes playfully. 
“I don’t thi-,” 
“Luce. Come on. She was looking around for you all night at the bar. Asking everyone if they had seen you.” She scoffed again, shaking her head. Whispering the next words. “I tried to dance with her. She thought I was you.” 
“What?” 
Jen rolled her eyes. “This is hurting my ego enough.” She sighed. “I tried to dance with her, and I thought she was into it, until she basically pushed me away after she realised it was me dancing with her. I swear she said your name, thinking I was you.” 
Lucy felt her heart sink. Realisation finally kicking in. 
Jen continued “So yeah. The girl likes you. I thought you were kind of a thing now? Are you not?” Jen looked confused.
“No.” 
“Pshh mate.” Jen put her hand on Lucy's shoulder and shook her head in disbelief. “Anyways, I’ve said enough. Enjoy your night.” 
“Y-yeah, thanks. You too.” 
Lucy let out a deep sigh, shaking her head in disbelief. She felt a weird excited but dreaded feeling in her stomach. Had she really messed up this badly? If Ona did actually like her, she had obviously ruined anything that could have potentially happened between them. Or had she? She did just invite her to have Christmas with her family, and Ona said yes. A quick yes. But, as friends. But? No. Maybe? Maybe there was a chance. 
-----------
Ona was sat on the wall waiting for Lucy to pick her up. It was the morning of Christmas Eve. Ona would be lying if she didn't say she was nervous, only 3 weeks ago herself and Lucy wasn't even speaking, now she was spending Christmas with her and her family. Talk about your turn of events.
Lucy pulled up beeping her horn at Ona, smiling when the girl shook her head at her silliness. Ona wasn't the only one that was nervous. When Lucy asked her to spend Christmas with her and her family, she wasn't actually thinking about what that could mean. She was also maybe a little tipsy when she asked, so she hadn’t thought about the implications of her question, but it didn't make her any less excited that Ona said yes. 
Lucy got out of the car, helping Ona with her bag and what looked like a bag with gifts. 
“Hola, good morning.” Ona smiled.
“Good morning. Here, let's put that in the boot.” She lifted up a bag spotting the wrapping paper. “Ona you didn't have to get any gifts.” Lucy complained.
“What? Don’t be stupid. It's Christmas, of course I have gifts.” She argued.
“Well, thank you but you really shouldn't have.” Lucy shook her head smiling at Ona’s thoughtfulness.
Ona playfully rolled her eyes at the older girl. The pair got into the car and made their way up North. 
The first hour they spoke non stop, it was so easy. They could speak about anything and everything. The second hour they listened to music, Lucy even put on some christmas songs after Ona pouted and gave her puppy dog eyes. By the third hour they played games, like ‘eye spy', ‘21 questions', and ‘would you rather?’ By the fourth hour Lucy noticed Ona’s eyes dropping. Another five minutes and the girl was sleeping quietly next to her.
Lucy couldn't help but steal glances at the younger brunette, her face was so soft. She looked incredibly peaceful. She looked beautiful. 20 minutes before they arrived Lucy woke Ona up, she really didn't want to disturb her but she also thought Ona would want to wake up a little before they arrived.
“Ona. Ona, wake up. Come on, sleepy head.” Lucy gently nudged her.
Ona slowly opened her eyes. She looked confused at first but smiled when she saw Lucy. 
“We’re nearly there.” 
“Sorry Lucy. I didn't mean to sleep for so long.” Ona stretched.
“No, I don’t mind.”
They finally arrived. Lucy turned the engine off and turned to the shorter girl.
“Right, like I said my mum can chat for britain. Just smile and nod. My brother is a dick and is always teasing. His wife Molly is normal, you'll get on with her, maybe.” She smiled cheekily at Ona. “My dad just pots about, he doesn't really get in anyone's way.” 
“Aye, come on, I'll be fine.” 
“Yeah, you will. If anything becomes too much or you just want some of your own space, or just need a break. Please give me a signal. It can be a lot with your own family on Christmas, let alone someone else's.”
Ona gave Lucy a deadpan look. “Lucy, come on.” 
“No, you come on. Give me a signal.” 
Ona scooped Lucy’s little finger with her own. Bringing it in between them. “This okay?”
Lucy's heart skipped a beat. It wasn't an intimate touch, not at all, but it felt special. It felt familiar. Lucy smiled. “Okay, that's good.” 
Ona smiled, she didn't think about what she was doing when she grabbed Lucy's finger. She felt stupid for it but she felt a weird spark, a shiver that travelled through her. But she couldn't help but notice how natural it felt to touch Lucy, even though it was a small piece of her, she liked it a lot.
The girls grabbed their bags and made their way to Lucy's childhood home. The taller brunette knocked on the door and turned to Ona and mouthed ‘Good luck.’
The door opened to an older looking Lucy, Ona recognised Lucy's mum from the face time they had back on Lucy's birthday.
“Oh Ona! It's so lovely to finally meet you!” Lucy's mum side stepped Lucy completely,  engulfing Ona in a rib breaking hug. 
Ona smiled at the older woman, she embraced her hug easily. It had been a while since she had this type of hug, a mothers hug. She instantly felt the warmth from her, it was nice, it was something she had missed for years. 
“It's so nice to finally meet you. Thank you for having me.” Ona tried to not struggle from the squeeze of Lucy's mum.
Lucy's mum finally let go. “Don’t be silly. I’m so happy to have you here.” She held Ona by her arms stroking her lovingly. 
“No you’re alright, I didn't just drive four hours to be ignored.” Lucy said with a deadpan stare at her mum.
“Oh Lucy calm down, I speak to you all the time. She's so moody isn't she Ona? Lord knows what it's like to work with her. Come on then, give me a cuddle.” Lucy didn't have time to argue, before she was being squashed by her mum's bear-like grip.
Ona smiled at the pair's banter. 
“Come in girls. Get your bags upstairs. Ona what would you like to drink sweetheart? Tea, coffee? Prosecco? I've already opened a bottle.” 
“Oh, I’m okay for now, thank you. But I do have some cinamon rolls for you."
The older women's face lit up. "Oh Ona. Thank you! You shouldn't have, you angle!"
Ona passed the fresh baked goods over. Lucy's mum smiled as she took them. "Such a sweet girl."
Ona’s mum smiled warmly at her. “You let me know if you want anything, don't be scared to ask. Lucy, can you get the games out of the attic please. I can’t reach. John come and say hello to your daughter and Ona. Stop watching that pokie show!” Lucy's mum walked off.
Lucy rolled her eyes. “Come, we'll take these upstairs. You can see my teenage room.” 
Before the girls could move Lucy's mum came back. “Oh Lucy, just so you know you and Ona will have to share your room. We’ve turned your sister's room into a home gym. She doesn't need it living in Australia now. I do my Davina Mcall workout in there every morning. I've lost 5 pounds already!” 
“Erm, okay no problem. Do we still have the blow up bed?” 
“No, your dad popped it when we had some friends round. Had to throw it away. You've got a double bed in your room, you can surely share.”
Lucy looked like a deer in headlights. Her and Ona were going to share a bed in her teenage bedroom? Her teenage self would be fisting the air right now. All three of the women heard Lucy's dad shout something in the background.
“What John? No, I don't know where the tape measurer is. What do you need that for?” And the older woman was gone again.
“Okay, looks like we’re bunking together. Do you mind?” Lucy started to walk up the stairs.
“No, not at all.” Ona smiled. She didn’t mind one bit.
Lucy opened the door to her old bedroom. Things had obviously changed a bit since it was her room, but her mum had kept some of her old posters and football trophies up. 
Ona smiled as she looked at the posters, some looked to have signatures on them. “You liked football huh?” 
“Still do.” Lucy came up behind her. 
“You can play?” Ona picked up one of the old trophies.
“I can. I’m really good.” Lucy said with a cocky smile on her face. 
“Not as good as me though.” A deep voice made them both jump.
Ona turned to see a young man standing in the doorway, he had familiar features to Lucy but only slight. “Hi, you must be the famous Ona. I’m Kevin.” He smiled. That's when Ona saw the resemblance.  
“Hello Kevin, it's lovely to meet you.” Ona smiled.
“She showing off again? She does that a lot.” Kevin smiled playfully.
“I apologise in advance, Ona.” Lucy moved over to hug her brother but was caught in a headlock that she easily got out of after punching her brother right in the chest. 
Ona giggled at the sister and brother relationship. It wasn't too far off her own relationship with her brother, when she had still lived in Spain.
“Auntie Lucy!” A smaller voice joined the commotion.
Ona watched as the little raven haired girl grasped on to Lucy's leg. “Hey, Rudy!” Lucy grabbed the girl and brought her into a hug. “How's my favourite niece?” 
The little girl laughed. “I’m your only niece.”
Lucy kissed her cheek. “Hey Ruds, come say hi to my friend Ona.”
For some reason Ona felt nervous, of all the people she wanted to make a good impression on it was Lucy's niece. She knew Lucy adored the girl, so this was important to her. The little girl nodded suddenly, becoming a little shy. Lucy walked them over to Ona. The Spaniard then noticed Rudy looked like a younger version of Lucy. The resemblance was uncanny. 
“Hello Rudy, I’m Ona.” Ona gave Rudy a small wave. 
“Hello Ona.” The girl tucked her head into Lucy's neck, keeping her eyes on Ona.
“I like your shoes. I've got some just like yours. But I like the colours on yours more.” Ona tapped the girl's shoes. 
“Auntie Lucy got them for me.” She said proudly, smiling at the Spaniard.
“Oh did she? She has good taste.” Ona smiled.
“Yeah. I want juice.” The younger girl escaped from Lucy's arms and ran out of the room. Leaving the two women alone.
“She’s so cute.” 
“Yeah. When she’s not being a brat.” Lucy laughed.
An awkward silence fell over the pair. Ona eyed up the double bed, then back to the posters. “Do you play now?” 
Lucy looked at the posters. “Now and again. I have a team I play on a Sunday with. I played a lot more when I was younger. I nearly went to America to train, but I injured my knee when I was 17. Couldn’t play the same for years after that.” Lucy looked thoughtful.
“Oh. That's awful, I'm sorry Lucy.” 
“Ahh doesn't matter. I doubt I would’ve made it.” Lucy shrugged. 
“Lucy! Ona! Come down, I’ve got the baby album out!” Lucy's mum shouted from downstairs.
The older brunette's eyes closed in frustration. 
“Coming!” Ona smiled wickedly at Lucy. She grabbed Lucy's hand pulling her out the room. “I can’t wait for this.” 
Even though Lucy was just a shade lighter than a tomato she didn't hate the feeling of Ona’s hand in hers. 
—----
“Oh and that’s Lucy on her 5th birthday. It was a football party, of course.”  Lucy’s mum pointed and smiled at the younger Lucy.
“And here’s Lucy having a bath. I’ll tell you what Ona that girl could never keep her clothes on. I’d have to keep an eye on her constantly. She always wanted to be in the nude.” Lucy's mum laughed.
“Mum!” Lucy was a beetroot colour now.
“What? Don’t be embarrassed, you were only a baby.” 
Ona couldn't hold back the laugh as Lucy's mum nudged her arm, laughing with her.
“Okay! I need a drink. Ona? Drink?” Lucy stood up.
“Good idea Lucy, bring the bottle in.” Lucy’s mum said without turning around.
Lucy shook her head, but couldn’t help but smile when she saw Ona getting on with her mum. 
The day went quick. Lucy hardly got to speak to Ona as she was pulled from pillar to post from each family member, even her dad joined in on the fun. The girl had slotted into the family so easily, she got on with everyone, it made Lucy feel at ease. Once Rudy was put to bed Lucy and Ona helped with putting the Christmas presents under the tree. 
That's when Lucy felt the warm skin of Ona’s little finger wrapping around her own. She looked up to see big brown eyes on hers, and a slightly tired smile on her face. Lucy didn't have to say anything, she could read Ona’s face. 
“Mum, we’re heading up.” 
“Okay. We’ll be up in a bit. Lucy, make sure to be a good host and give Ona anything she needs.”
Keven couldn't hold in his laugh on the other side of the room, his wife hitting him quickly. Lucy shot daggers at her immature brother. The girls said their good nights and made their way upstairs. Lucy closed the door behind her as they entered her room.
“You okay?” 
“Sí, sorry I just couldn’t keep my eyes open.” 
“No, that's okay. I’m tired too. I'll grab us towels so we can shower.
—----------
“Okay, so that tap can be a bit temperamental, I’ll put it on for you so you don’t struggle.” 
“Thank you, Luce.” 
They waited in silence for the water to warm up. It was a small bathroom, Lucy could feel Ona right next to her, every so often she could feel her arm accidentally touch her own. She hoped the younger brunette didn’t notice the hairs on her arm stand up or the goosebumps that took over her skin from a simple touch. 
She could feel the Spaniards eyes on her, but she kept her eyes on the running water or anywhere that wasn’t at Ona. She couldn't believe how nervous she felt. Once she was happy with the temperature she left the girl to shower. 
“Okay, that should be good. If you need anything let me know, I’ll be right in. I mean, I w-wont come in obviously. Like, I can…I’ll help with what I can. Without coming in, cos you'll be naked.” 
Ona couldn't hold back the smirk on her face. This may have been the first time she had seen Lucy shy, or tongue tied. Was it cute? Yes! Did she almost reach up to kiss her to stop her stuttering? Almost.
“Don’t worry. I’ll call if I need you.” Ona smiled playfully.
The older brunette chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of her neck. God, what's wrong with you?
“Right. Good. Let me get out of your way.”
Lucy squeezed by Ona, apologising as her body pressed against hers as she did. She was so close she could smell Ona’s shampoo. The coconut one, the one she liked. 
“Thank you Luce.” 
Lucy let out a deep sigh. She didn't regret asking Ona to come here for Christmas but she didn't realise how hard it was going to be. She wanted the girl. Badly. And having her here was only increasing her feelings. Seeing how easily she slotted in with her family increased it. Singing stupid Christmas songs in the 4 hour car journey increased it. Just having Ona by her side increased it. 
Lucy scrolled on her phone sitting on her bed as she waited for Ona to finish in the shower. When the bathroom door opened she nearly forgot how to breathe. She may have pictured Ona like this a few times. No, a lot of times. But this was the real thing, now she was actually in front of her. She came out in her towel, water droplets dripped down her milky skin. The baby hair on the back of her neck curled from the heat of the shower. Her freckled cheeks flushed a hot pink from the heat. Fuck. This was going to be difficult.
“Done. Thank you.” Ona smiled sitting down on the other side of the bed. 
Lucy swallowed on her dry throat. “Great, erm….Yeah, okay.” 
She kept her eyes down as she made her way to the bathroom. She undressed and got in the shower. She closed her eyes and let out another deep sigh as the hot water ran down her skin. She tried to rid herself of her dirty thoughts, but she couldn't stop the images of a naked Ona in her room. She tried to push them away but it only got worse when the memory of Ona underneath her rushed into her thoughts.
She could feel the start of a small throbbing sensation between her legs. Her hand started to creep down her stomach as she remembered the way Ona panted and thrusted beneath her. The way Ona’s brown eyes looked up at her as she bit her lip, the moans the girl let out as she squirmed underneath her. Before Lucy realised what she was doing her hand was between her legs touching her clit. 
It wasn't the first time she had thought about Ona like this, she was a regular occurrence in Lucy's late night fantasies. But she couldn't do this now, not with Ona right next door, it felt wrong, seedy almost. She moved her hand away, but not without noticing the shiny essence on her finger tips. 
This was going to be a long two nights. 
Lucy let out another sigh. In her rush to the bathroom she had left her pyjamas on the bed. She was going to have to change in front of Ona. Fuck sake. She opened the door to see Ona already tucked up in bed. Her long hair was down, like that night at the bar. Her sleepy eyes caught Lucy, sending her a cute smile. But that cute smile dropped quickly when her dark eyes roamed the older brunette's wet body.
Just like Lucy, Ona had pictured very similar situations with the girl in front of her half naked. But in her dirty thoughts she was fully naked. And just like Lucy, Ona had the older brunette constantly on her mind whenever she had her hand between her legs. Picturing the older girl in many different situations. She was doing it right now, even with Lucy in front of her, she couldn't help it. It wasn't until she heard Lucy's voice that she was brought out of her dirty day dream.
“Ona? Do you mind if I change?” Lucy asked. 
“Huh? Sorry, what?” Ona didn’t realise she was staring.
Lucy couldn't stop the smile. A knowing smile. “I’m just going to change. Is that okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I won't look. I promise.” She let out a small nervous chuckle. “I’m on my phone.” Ona quickly glanced back at her phone, wanting to give her host some privacy. She did a good job at first, scrolling aimsley on her insta feed. She was concentrating hard to not let her eyes go any further, though she may have glanced up once or twice at the girl. 
Lucy wasn’t facing her, Ona could only see her back, her very muscular back. She looked at her phone, trying her best to not creep on her friend. But her eyes glanced up once more. Lucy had bottoms on already. She was just in time to see the older brunette putting her shirt over her head, catching her firm stomach as she turned back to Ona. She darted her eyes down quickly but of course Lucy caught her. 
Lucy slotted into the space next to Ona. The room suddenly felt like it had no air. 
“So, how has today been?” Lucy wanted to try and pop the hot bubble that was making her sweat. 
Ona looked up from her phone, she didn't even release, she was just looking at the weather app now, too focused on trying to regulate her breathing. 
“Amazing! Your family are so sweet. I’ve already had so much fun. I-I can't thank you enough, Lucy. It means a lot to me that you have welcomed me to celebrate with your family.”
“You’re more than welcome. They love you, you know? They weren't even this nice to any of my exes.” Lucy chuckled, until she realised how weird that sounded. Why was she putting Ona in the same sentence as her exes? Maybe because the next time she saw her family with Ona she wanted her to be more than her friend.
Ona smiled shyly, she didn't miss what Lucy said, but she didn't take it to heart. Clearly  Lucy didn't mean anything by it, she was just comparing. Yeah, it was a bit weird to be compared to her past lovers but Ona would just ignore the nervous feeling in her stomach at the thought of her family liking her more then her actual girlfriends. 
Lucy quickly changed the subject, asking Ona what Christmas was like back in Spain. The younger girl was more than happy to give Lucy a small history lesson on the traditions back home. It wasn't until Ona started to yawn that Lucy decided to call it a night. 
“Right you, let's get you to sleep. Got a big day tomorrow.” Lucy teased.
Ona rolled her eyes at the older girl, smiling as she tucked herself into the covers. Lucy rolled over and turned off the side light, immersing the pair into darkness. She made herself comfortable, as comfortable as she could. She could still feel the slight throbbing between her legs. Having Ona inches next to her did not help, especially when she felt the girl's hand glide up stomach as she moved around next to her. 
Her breath hitched in her throat as her body tensed up.
“Sorry.” Ona whispered.
“It's okay. If you wanted to cop a feel you could have just asked.” Lucy giggled.
“Idiota.” Ona chuckled back.
Half an hour later Ona was fast asleep, but the same couldn't be said for Lucy, she found herself staring at the ceiling, listening to Ona’s steady breathing. She tried to close her eyes and relax but her mind was on overdrive. 
She was thinking of all the ways she could tell Ona. Tell her the truth about why she was such a dick before. Tell her how much it killed her to not talk to her, why she ignored her texts, declined the lunches with her. Explain why she became so cold. Come clean about how Ona was the first and last thing that she thought about everyday since laying eyes on her. 
After an hour of her brain screaming at her, Lucy started to drift to sleep. But as soon as her mind started to calm it was woken back up. The shorter girl beside her shuffled in her sleep, capturing one of Lucy's thighs between her own. And even with the fabric as a barrier, Lucy instantly felt the unmistakable wetness that started to dampen through onto her own skin. 
And if that wasn't enough to send her brain into a complete overdrive, the girl ever so slightly began to grind her hips into Lucy's thigh. The smallest of whimpers escaped the Spaniard's lips as she unknowingly used Lucy's body for her own pleasure. The girl was clearly having a sex dream. Next to Lucy. In Lucy’s bed. And she could fucking feel it. 
“Fuck.” Lucy breathed out. 
Was this really happening? Should she wake the girl? No! She’d be mortified. Maybe if she tried to move her leg? But as soon as she did, Ona only got closer, pushing herself right up into Lucy. Her face was so close to her, she could still smell the mint from her toothpaste. Ona whimpered again, clearly finding a sweet spot in her new position, Lucy could feel the girl becoming wetter. Her own clit was throbbing.
She needed to put a stop to this, even though she really didn't mind Ona using her as her own sex toy. Just as she was about to fully move from Ona, she heard her own name being moaned. 
“Lucy.” Ona whispered. 
Lucy’s whole body stiffened. Was she hearing that right? Ona was saying her name? She was dreaming about Lucy. Her name was being moaned into her ear by the girl she was already wet over. Onas hips picked up a faster paste, her small moans making Lucy's skin heat up. She felt dizzy, she bit her lip trying to hold in her own groan. Ona’s wet fabric was sliding up her thigh, she could feel the warmth radiating from between her legs. 
Just as she was about to stop the shorter girl, she felt her body stiffen. She didn't make a sound. She held her breath. Ona let out a tiny sigh and her body relaxed again. Snuggling her face into Lucy’s shoulder. 
The older brunette couldn’t move. She swallowed the spit in her mouth like she was out of breath, how did that just happen? She couldn’t believe Ona had just used her to get off. Well, in her sleep. How did that just happen? Lucy was sweating, she could feel her clit crying to be touched. But she couldn't, and she wouldn't. She would have to wait until she got back home. 
Even though she didn’t want to move from Ona’s grip, she needed to get to the toilet. She removed herself from the girl and from the sheets, Ona was in an ignorance of bliss, sleeping soundly. Lucy went to the toilet, wiping away any of own essence. She couldn’t stop the smile when she saw the damp spot on her trousers from the girl in the other room. She splashed some cold water onto her face to try and calm herself down.
Lucy made her way back into bed, trying her best not to wake the girl next to her. She could still feel the heat between her own legs, ignoring as best as she could. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 
—------------
Ona was confused when she awoke, this wasn't her bed. Then the feeling of hot air on her neck tickled her, causing her to shiver. That's when she remembered she was at Lucys. She didn't realise a strong arm was wrapped around her body until it pulled her effortlessly closer, she could feel the warm body pressed up against her back, the strong arm locking her in. Lucy was holding her like she was her own teddy bear, their bodies pressed up against each other like lovers.
Ona was fully awake now, she could hear Lucy's shallow breathing, she was still asleep. Lucy's core was pressed right up against Onas’s arse, she could feel the heat coming from between the girls legs. It reminded her of her own dream last night, maybe she was still dreaming?
She couldn't stop the silent gasp as she felt Lucy pull her impossibly closer. She bit her lip, loving the feeling of the strong girl against her body. 
Did she do the responsible thing and move away from her friend? No. She gently counted her hips backwards, pushing her arse into Lucy, loving the way the older brunette's breath hitched in her sleep. Lucy nuzzled closer to her neck, her lips gently brushed the Spaniard's neck. Ona closed her eyes as she felt Lucy’s soft lips against her skin, she could feel her own body heating up, her nipples straining against her top.
That's when Lucy's phone alarm went off. Ona closed her eyes, pretending to still be asleep. She knew Lucys was probably going to freak out when she saw the position they were in. And like clock work she felt Lucy's body stiffen, she was clearly awake. Did it break Ona’s heart just slightly? Of course. But she couldn't feel like that for long, not when she felt Lucy's soft lips press a light kiss to her neck. 
She must still be dreaming. Did that just happen? Did Lucy just kiss her? Why? Why did she kiss her? What did that mean? She felt Lucy move away, her body suddenly felt cold. She then felt Lucy pat her back. 
“Ona. Wake up. It's Christmas!” 
Hearing Lucy's morning voice did something to Ona’s insides. Her accent sounded even thicker. If she didn't know the girl so well she’d probably find it hard to understand her morning mumbles.
Ona pretended to wake, she smiled and stretched her body. “Bon dia.” She turned around to face a very sleepy, cute looking Lucy. “Merry Christmas.” Ona yawned.
Lucy smiled and stretched. “How did you sleep?” She knew how the girl slept, but she wasn't about to reveal that.
“Good, thank you. You?” 
“Not too bad. You didn't take up too much room, so I can’t complain.” She smirked.
“I don’t get many complaints when sharing a bed with another woman.” Ona giggled. 
Lucy laughed out loud. “Yeah, I’m sure you don’t.”
This was a whole other layer being added to their relationship. It felt almost like how they were before, tip toeing on a fine line of friendship and flirting, the undertones of wanting each other was becoming more apparent. 
“It smells like breakfast is on.” Lucy stretched.
“Hmm, I can't wait.”
“Remember don’t force yourself to eat things, if you don't want anything just say so. My mums a feeder.” Lucy warned.
“Good thing I'm an eater.” Ona winked. 
Lucy chuckled. “Okay, you ready?” Lucy sat up.
“Sí, but can I give you your present now?”
Lucy’s face broke into a huge smile. “You got me a present?”
“Of course.” 
“I got you one too. I wasn't sure when to give it to you.” 
Now it was Ona’s turn to smile. She watched as Lucy got out the bed and made her way to her bag, Ona copied her movements, moving over to her own bag. Ona would be lying if she didn't say she was extremely excited that Lucy got her a present. She of course had a small slither of hope that she would, but she didn't actually think she would. She pulled out the gold box from her bag, hoping she got Lucy something she actually liked. 
Ona pulled out the neatly wrapped green and red papered package, with a red envelope on top. She smiled as she saw Lucy looking a little nervous on the other side of the room, she was holding a small gold wrapped box. 
“Merry Christmas, Lucy.” She stepped forward..
“Merry Christmas, Ona.” Lucy nervously smiled.
They exchanged their gifts. Ona opened the small golden box to find a blue jewellery box encased, she smiled as Lucy watched her. She gently opened the box to find a gold necklace with a gold smiley face attached to the chain. Ona’s eyes lit as eyed the gold chain, she couldn't stop her own smile on her face. She loved it. She looked up to see Lucy's nervous face.
“Lucy, I love it! Thank you so much!”
“Yeah? You sure? If you dont its okay.”
“What? No, I love it! Can you put it on me?” 
Lucy gave Ona a toothy smile. “Turn around.” 
Ona pushed her hair to the side to give Lucy space. She felt as Lucy's fingers skimmed her skin, making her shiver. Lucy didn't miss the way the younger girl's skin prickled with goosebumps from her touch. It brought back scenes from last night, making her own heart race, she tried to calm herself before her cheeks turned red.
Ona turned around, the gold chain shining on her neck.
“It suits you.” Lucy ran her eyes over the chain.
“Thank you. It's perfect.”
Ona noticed Lucy's face looked a little flush. “Open yours.”
Lucy opened the envelope first, it was a christmas card with a piece of paper inside. She skimmed her eyes over the writing, her eyes widened in surprise. She read it out loud. 
“The Big London Bake. You and your guest will have a day of eating, baking and of course a day of fun.” She licked her lips as she smiled back at Ona. “I have wanted to do this for the longest time! I can’t believe it, how did you know? How did you get tickets? They're always booked up.” 
“I know you like baking, and I have a friend who knows a friend.” Ona winked playfully.
“I can’t tell you how excited I am! Thank you so much! When do you wanna go?” 
“You don't have to bring me, I-,” 
Lucy cut her off. “There is no way I’m taking anyone else. Of course you’re coming.”
Ona looked at her feet as she smiled. “Open your other present.”
Lucy tore open the paper, smiling as soon as she saw it. It was a picture frame with a picture of Ona and Lucy laughing on stage at the karaoke bar. 
“I still don’t know why we’re doing this job and not forming a band.” Lucy chuckled. “I love it. Thank you, Ona.” 
The younger brunette giggled as she looked at the picture. Their relationship was definitely blurring now. Both girls could feel it. Feelings were growing, and both girls didn't stop it, they were letting it grow, pushing it to grow. 
—----------
“Merry Christmas girls!” Lucy's mum was cooking pancakes at the oven.
“Merry christmas!” The pair said in sync.
“Can I help with anything?” Ona walked over to Lucys mum.
“No my darling, you’re our guest. But thank you. You have a seat. Are you hungry? I’ve got lots to choose from. Lucy get Ona a tea, or is it coffee you like dear? Lucy put the kettle on.”
Lucy rolled her eyes at her mum. Ona giggled at their relationship, it was a typical mum and daughter relationship. She smiled as she watched Lucy's mum grab her cheek and lovingly smile at her daughter as she put the kettle on. 
“Ona my darling do you like pancakes?”
“I do.” 
“With chocolate chips?”
“Even better.” 
“Perfect. Got a fresh batch for you now. Do you like orange juice?” Lucy's mum brought the fresh batch of warm chocolate chip pancakes over to Ona. 
“Thank you so much. This looks amazing!” 
Lucy's mum smiled as she squeezed Ona’s shoulder in that mum type way. It was something she didn't realise she had missed so much. Lucy brought over a coffee for Ona, not needing to ask what she wanted, she knew that was her morning drink. 
“Where's Kevin? And dad?” Lucy asked as she sat down. Her mum placed a stack of pancakes in front of Lucy. 
“They all went for a walk. Rudy was up early, bouncing off the walls.” Her mum chuckled. 
The three chatted as they had their morning breakfast. Once they were done the girls had a shower and changed into their clothes. 
“Girls you ready? We have a very impatient 6 year old down here.”
“Okay, show time you ready?” Lucy smiled.
“Sí.” Ona smiled.
They made their way downstairs to open presents. That’s when Ona noticed the large Santa sacks under the tree that definitely weren't there last night. They had large gold initials stitched onto the red fabric. One had an L, a K, an M for Kevin's wife Molly, and then she spotted the sack with an O. She stopped in her tracks, Lucy bumping into her from behind. She felt her hand on her shoulder. 
“You okay?” Lucy looked concerned.
“Ah yeah, sorry.” 
“Come.” Lucy took Ona’s hand in hers and sat them down.
“Ona!” Rudy ran over to the Spanird a present in her hand. 
“Ona this is from me. Open it.” the mini version of Lucy demanded.
“Oh my. Thank you. Is it not from santa?” Ona chuckled.
“Not this one.” Rudy smiled cheekily.
“Oh, okay.” Ona smiled at Lucy as she opened the present.
It was a mug with ‘Top copper’ on it. 
Ona laughed. “I love it! Thank you so much, Rudy.” She opened her arms for the girl. Rudy jumped on her lap and tucked herself into the Spaniard's neck. Lucy grabbed her phone and quickly took a picture of the pair.  Rudey jumped off the girl and ran back over to her mum and dad, ready to open her presents. 
“Okay, present time.” Lucy’s mum passed over Ona and Lucy the heavy sacks.
“Th-thank you. You didn't have t-,”
Lucy's mum was quick to stop her. “No, I don't want to hear any of that.” She grabbed her cheek like she did Lucys and gave her a kiss on her head.
Ona couldn't believe it, she wasn't expecting any kind of gift from anyone, let alone a whole sack. She looked over at Lucy who was smiling at her, gesturing for her to open her sack. She untied the knot to find loads of wrapped up presents. She felt overwhelmed. She hadn't had anything like this before, not since she was a child. She reached in and began to open her presents alongside Lucy.
The list of items was long. She had opened a perfume set, face masks, nail varnish set, a baking cookbook, a candle, pjs set, a hot water bottle with an O stitched in, a hot chocolate set, a bath bomb set, bath soak, hand cream, chocolates, woolly socks, a £30.00 gift card, lip gloss and a beautiful brown leather notebook. Ona could feel the tears in her eyes. She quickly stood up and excused herself. 
Lucy and her mum looked at each other with worry. The older brunette quickly followed Ona out of the room to find her in the kitchen at the sink, a small tear was rolling down her face. 
“Hey, you okay? What's wrong?” Lucy stroked Ona’s arm.
“I’m so sorry. Nothing is wrong, it's just. Your family have been so nice to me. It's overwhelming. They have spoilt me.” She chuckled threw a tear. 
Lucy smiled, she rubbed the girl's arm and pulled her in for a hug, she understood. She knew Ona hadn't been with her own family in so long let alone for Christmas, she knew this holiday was difficult in many ways for the younger girl. Ona loved it, but it also brought weird feelings for her. She held the girl tight, rubbing her back soothingly. 
“Hey, It's okay, Ona. It can be a lot. It's a hard day for you. Don't apologise. I know my mum definitely goes over the top aswell.” She wiped away a tear from Ona’s cheek.
“Thank you, Luce. It's very generous, I just wasn't expecting it.” She looked up, Ona could feel her heart beating, Lucy's face was suddenly so close to hers, looking in her eyes so deeply. Like she was trying to read her mind, her green eyes searched her face, landing on her mouth. Ona stopped breathing. 
“Is Ona okay?” Lucy's mum walked into the kitchen.
Lucy took a step back from Ona, hearing her mum’s voice.
“Sí, I am. Sorry, I am just so happy. You’ve been so kind to me.” Ona smiled.
“Oh my darling!” Lucy's mum scooped Ona up in a hug, squeezing the girl tightly to her chest. “I’m glad their happy tears. I’m sorry if it was too much.” She stroked Ona’s cheek. 
“No, no! Not at all. You’ve been so welcoming. It’s so nice. Thank you so much for my gifts.” 
Lucy's mum smiled lovingly at her. “You’re welcome Ona. We’ve loved having you here. You’re welcome here anytime.”
Ona smiled, she had missed this. A mothers love. 
“Do you want tea, Ona?” Lucy asked. 
Ona nodded. “Thank you, Luce.” 
“Tea then we drink.” Lucy's mum winked.
Ona and Lucy chuckled, agreeing on the plan. 
The rest of Christmas day went perfectly. Everyone loved the presents Ona had got them. Christmas dinner was served and everything was cooked to perfection. Ona had sat next to Lucy, every so often their arms would brush but neither girl said anything. They all sat down to watch ‘The Grinch’. Ona would catch those familiar green eyes on her every half an hour, smiling at her everytime she caught her. She wondered if Lucy even watched the film.
Then the board games came out. Ona got to see first hand just how competitive Lucy was, it made her cry with laughter watching the older brunette and her brother argue over the games. Ona, Lucy and Rudy played football in the garden, Lucy's brother also joined in, and ended up in a headlock.
As it came closer to the evening a few neighbours came by for drinks, the music was blaring and everyone was having a good time. Ona found herself being spun around by one of Lucy's neighbours, as the group danced away. Ona had found herself staring at Lucy while she danced with Rudy in her arms. It made her heart melt as the pair giggled at something Rudy said. 
“Ona, do you want a drink?” Suddenly Lucy was in front of the Spaniard.
Ona was blushed from the dancing. A huge smile plastered on her face, making Lucy's heart melt. “Please. Thank you.”
Lucy nodded, she made her way to the kitchen in search of more alcohol. She looked in the mini fridge stocked with bottles of drink. She grabbed a bottle and popped the cork, pouring herself and Ona some prosecco.
“So, how long have you loved her?” 
Lucy jumped at the deep voice, she turned around to see her brother Keven standing at the door frame, a playful smile on his face.
“What?” Lucy turned back around to continue pouring.
“Come on, Lucy. Don't play dumb. You can see it a mile away. You can practically see the heart shape in your eyes. Even the way Ona looks at you.”
“Leave it out Kevin.���
He stepped next to his sister, leaning on the kitchen side, a serious face now sat on his features. 
“I’m not trying to wind you up Luce, you seem so much happier, and I can't help but think it's Ona that’s done it.” He smiled at his younger sister.
Lucy scoffed. “Is it that obvious?” 
Kevin raised his eyebrows. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” 
The siblings laughed, it was rare for them to have a conversation that didn't end up teasing the other over a game or even what the other was dressed in, it was different, it was nice.
“I hope you're planning on asking her out. Even Molly was asking if she was single. I think she wants your girl.” He winked, making Lucy laugh.
“Yeah, I think I will. I just need the right ti-,” 
“Hey Luce, do you need me?” Ona entered the kitchen with a big smile on her face. 
“Just in time! She does Ona, she needs you.” Kevin smiled as he nudged his sister, Lucy gave her brother daggers but in truth, he wasn’t lying. He chuckled to himself, leaving the two girls alone. 
Ona smiled as she approached Lucy, it was her cute tipsy smile. Lucy had seen it a few times now, it never got any less cute. Lucy turned round, her back to the sink, facing the shorter girl. 
“Are you having a good time?” 
Ona walked up to the taller brunette and took the glass from Lucy's hand, making sure her fingers lingered on hers.
“I am. Your neighbours are fun. They can dance!” Ona giggled.
“Yeah, they do like a good time. Garry's having fun with you.” Lucy chuckled as she drank her drink.
“Hmm, sounds like someone jealous.” Ona chuckled.
“What if I am?”
“You? No, you're not jealous.” Ona teased.
“Well, I haven't had a chance to dance with you yet.”
Ona stepped a little closer to Lucy. Her brown eyes looked up at the taller girl. “You can dance with me.”
“Yeah?” 
“All you have to do is ask. I’d be all yours.” Ona whispered. 
Lucy could feel her body gravitating towards Ona, she couldn't take her eyes off of her lips. Her heart was in her throat. Was this about to finally happen? 
Ona licked her own lips. Her hands were sweating. She had wanted this for so long.
“All mine?” Lucy's words were just above a whisper.
“Sí.” Ona closed her eyes as she was finally about to kiss the girl she loved.
The girls lips were inches apart, months of wanting this exact moment, finally seconds away. Until a roar of laughter came tumbling into the kitchen. Lucy's dad and two other neighbours were completely unaware they had just ruined the moment.
Ona jumped from the commotion, automatically stepping back from their bubble. Lucy closed her eyes in frustration, she could have killed her dad. Ona eyed the brunette a shy smile on her face as she drank her drink. 
“Lucy, Ona! We’re doing shots. Come on, get over here.” Lucy’s dad laughed.
The girls eyed each other, both hungry with lust. It was clear what they both wanted now. Both girls had leaned in, both wanted the kiss, there was no mistaking the heat between them. 
The night got later, everyone continued to dance and drink, including Lucy and Ona, both girls stole glances throughout the night. Lucy wanted nothing more than to take Ona upstairs and have some time with the girl but the house was full. People would look for them within a couple of minutes, she'd have to wait. She just didn't know how long.
—-----------
“Night Garry, night Pauline. I’ll see you next week.” Lucy's mum slurred as she closed the front door, saying her goodbyes to the last guess.
“Okay mum, we're off to bed.” Lucy yawned.
“Okay, sleep well. I think you have a new admirer, Ona. Gary wouldn't leave you alone.” Lucy's mum winked.
Ona chuckled. “I know, I couldn't even keep up with his dancing!”
“He is funny. Alright girls. I’ll see you in the morning.” 
“Try to keep it quiet. The walls are thin!” Kevin laughed, but his laugh was cut off as his mum slapped him beside the head.
Lucy shut her bedroom door behind her, Ona stumbled in front of her, she was definitely more drunk than Lucy. The older brunette had slowed down her drinking, knowing she had a 4 hour drive home, also Ona was a lightweight when it came to drinking. 
The Spaniard  smiled as she looked over the pictures on the dresser, she hadn't noticed them until now. One in particular caught her eye, if it wasn't for the 90s clothing she would have thought it was Rudy. It was Lucy as a child with a cheeky smile that she still made now, she had her arm around a blonde girl, laughing and pointing at Lucy.  
She casted her eyes over the other pictures, the same blonde girl was in a picture with Lucy but it was years later, similar poses, the blonde laughing and Lucy looking as cheeky as always.
“Whos this?” Ona picked up the picture smiling. 
Lucy walked over, she looked at the picture and felt her heart sink.
“That's Sophie, she was my best friend.”
Ona noticed the sadness in Lucy's voice straight away.
“I’m sorry. Are you no longer friends?”
Lucy shook her head. “No, we never argued. We were friends since we were 4, she moved in a few doors down. Our mums became friends and then we naturally became closer.”
Ona smiled as she listened to Lucy. She continued.
“We did everything together. If I was there, so was she. She even worked with me on the force.” She chuckled. “Sarina made us partners at the same time. We couldn't believe it.” Lucy's eyes became watery. “We were on an early morning raid. Like we had done 100 times before. The house was declared clear. We went inside to collect evidence, but there was a man hiding inside the house. He shot her. She died before the ambulance even arrived.” 
Ona felt her own eyes watering as she watched a single tear fall from Lucy's face. 
“Sorry. Bladdy drink.” Lucy sniffled.
Ona grabbed Lucy in a hug like she had done for the smaller girl before. 
“I’m so sorry Lucy.” She rubbed the taller girls back soothingly. 
“Thank you.” 
The girls spoke about Lucy and Sophie and the antics they got into when they were young. The holidays they had been on, the night clubs they had been kicked out of. Ona couldn't stop the smile on her face, it was like learning a whole new side of Lucy. The older brunette's face lit up talking about her memories with her childhood best friend. It broke Ona’s heart that Lucy had been holding this all in, all the pain she had been through. 
The girls had found themselves laying on the bed, both their eyes slowly closing as they spoke. It was Onas eyes that closed first, mumbling about something Lucy couldn't really understand.
“Okay, let's get to bed.”
Ona groaned like a child “Can you get my clothes?”
Lucy playful rolled her eyes, a drunk Ona was a very cute Ona. She grabbed the girl's pj from her bag and threw them towards Ona. 
“Here you go.”  She chuckled as Ona groaned again.
Lucy looked in her own bag for her pjs. She couldn't help but feel a lot lighter, she hadn't talked about some of those memories since she had lost her best friend. It had been hard for the girl to talk about Sophie over the years, it was hard for her to find the strength to talk about her. But for some reason she felt completely comfortable talking to Ona about her, about their memories, about the bad days and the good days.
Lucy turned around to find Ona half dressed, her bottoms were on but her bed top was wrapped around arms.
“You okay there?” 
Ona flopped on the bed, her t-shirt trapping her arms. 
“Help me.”
Lucy chuckled, she walked over to the younger brunette, she helped her pull her shirt down, over her toned stomach. 
“Thank you Luce.” Ona crawled up to the top of the bed, snuggling herself beneath the covers. Lucy quickly changed, feeling sleep take over her own body. She finally climbed into the bed next to Ona. Turning off the light.
“You have soft lips.” Ona mumbled.
“What?” Lucy chuckled.
“I felt you kiss me in the morning, on my neck. You have soft lips.” 
“Oh…I’m sor-,” Lucy stuttered. 
“It's okay. I really liked it.” Ona whispered.
“So did I.”
“I just wish it was my lips.” 
Lucy smiled shyly, her heart fluttered. When she kissed Ona this morning she didn't do it in a sexual or seedy way. She had woken to Ona pushing herself into her. Her lips were already on Ona when she woke up. So when she woke she didn't think twice, she pressed her lips to her milky skin. 
"I wanna kiss you, Luce."
Lucy wanted to but Ona was drunk, she didn't want their first kiss like this.
“I want to so badly, but maybe when we’re not drunk? Ask me again when you're sober?"
Ona smiled. "Okay, I'll ask again."
It only took a minute before Ona was snoring.
The next morning Ona woke up to an empty bed, she then heard what sounded like the shower running. She was pleasantly surprised she wasn't as hungover as she would have thought, just a small headache, but nothing more. The bathroom door opened to a fresh face looking Lucy.
“Morning sleepy head.” Lucy smiled.
“Morning.” Ona stretched.
“How you feeling?” Lucy started to brush out her wet hair.
“Not too bad, you?”
“A little headache but nothing a full english and paracetamol can't handle.”
“Yes! I love the English breakfast!” Ona kicked her feet excitedly.
“Good, my mum goes OTT, so hopefully you’ll enjoy it.” 
“Can I shower before we go down?” Ona climbed out of the bed.
“Of course. I put a fresh towel in there for you.”
The girls got ready for breakfast, and like Lucy promised, her mum had gone in on the food, she had cooked the works and more. She placed a full English breakfast in front of a very hungry Ona. 
“Thank you!” 
“You let me know if you want anything else, I've got plenty to go.”
The kitchen was a hub of chatter as everyone talked about the night before, laughing at jokes and teasing Ona that she had a new admirer. She couldn't help but still glances at Lucy as they all laughed. The time finally came for the girls to get ready for their drive home. 
Everyone waited at the front door as the girls came to the door.
Lucys mum opened her arms out grabbing Ona in a hug, while Lucy hugged her dad.
“Oh Ona, thank you so much for spending Christmas with us. You are welcome anytime, I hope you know that.” 
Ona hugged back as much as she physically could. “Thank you so much. This has been one of the best Christmases I've ever had. You made me feel so special. Thank you.”
Lucy's dad hugged his daughter tightly. “She's a good one. Do something about it.” 
Lucy smiled, even her dad could see right through her. She hugged him tighter. 
“Make sure to drive slow. Don't go faster than you need to, stay in the slow lane.” Her mum warned.
Lucy rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, Been driving for 10 plus years now.” 
Rudy grabbed Ona’s legs. “Bye Ona.” 
Ona knelt down and hugged the mini Lucy. “Goodbye Rudy. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye pip squeak.” Lucy held her arms open for Rudy. The little girl giggled as she flung herself into Lucy.
The girls said their goodbyes to everyone, and got in Lucy's car. 
There had been a thick buzz between the girls since the morning. Their chat last night wasn't forgotten between the pair, but neither had said anything about it. But they didn't need to, they both knew what they wanted. It was just a 4 hour drive away. 
Finally they pulled up to Ona’s flat, helping her Ona with her bags. Lucy followed Ona into her flat, she smiled as she looked around the new space.
“You’ve got a nice place here.” Lucy lowered the bags. 
The shorter brunette walked up to Lucy. “Do you wanna see my bedroom?” 
“More than anything.” Lucy whispered. She cupped Ona’s face into her hands, she lowered herself to Ona’s lips, the lips she had wanted to kiss for months. 
Finally, their lips met. It was soft and sweet. There was no rushing, no pushing, just their lips exploring the other. Even though they had waited so long for this, they didn't want to rush. Both girls were finally getting what they had wanted for the longest time, they wanted to make the first kiss last.
But as soon as Lucy slipped her tongue into the mix and made Ona whimper, all the above went out the window. She couldn't hold back any longer. Lucy’s tilted Ona’s head back just a fraction, pushing the girl for a deeper kiss. Ona whimpered again, letting Lucy take full control of their movements. The kisses started to become messy and loud, the girls were clearly hungry for each other. The months, weeks, days of wanting, were finally here. 
“Where’s your room?” 
“First door on the left.”
The taller girl grabbed Ona by the waist lifting her up. Ona giggled as she wrapped her legs around Lucy’s waist, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about this exact moment for a long time. 
Lucy carried the shorter girl to the bedroom, never letting their lips come apart. She walked into the open bedroom and gently lowered Ona on the bed below, laying her body on the girl beneath her. Her lips attacked Ona’s neck, sucking and kissing at the soft skin. 
“Fuck, Lucy.” Ona gasped. 
Lucy smirked proudly hearing Ona moan her name. She continued her actions, leaving small red marks everywhere her mouth touched, loving the noises she was pulling from Ona. She couldn't stop her hips from grinding into the girl, her desperate moans making Lucys pussy throb. She finally pulled back. 
“Can I take this off?” She pulled the bottom of Ona’s top.
“Yes, take it off. All of it.” She panted as she sat up.
Lucy nodded. She removed Ona’s top, then her bra, revealing her beautiful breast. She couldn't stop herself from kissing the girl's stomach. She watched as Ona’s tight abs flexed, feeling Lucy's mouth on her skin. She continued to kiss down Ona’s stomach as she popped open the girl's jeans. She quickly undone her zip and began to pull down the clothing. She looked at the girl below her, taking in her beautiful body. Her gold necklace stood out against her milky skin. 
“You too.” Ona pulled at Lucy’s top.
Lucy smiled at the girl below her, she did as the Spaniard asked and removed her clothing. Ona stared at the girl standing above her, Lucy's body was unreal, her muscular arms flexed as she pulled her clothing off. She was truly stunning. Ona sat up, she attached her mouth to Lucy's stomach, sucking on her tight skin as she undone her jeans, wanting to move this along.
Ona spotted the wet patch seeping through the fabric between Lucy's legs, smiling playfully as she eyed the older brunette. 
“Can I take these off?”
Lucy looked down at the girl, her bright brown eyes looking up at her with so much lust, so much want. It only added to the wetness pooling in between Lucy's legs.
“Yeah.” She swallowed.
Ona slowly pulled down the fabric, she let out a sigh as she saw the shiny arousal sticking to Lucy's lips. She began to kiss Lucy's thighs, getting closer to the area she wanted most, she could smell how aroused Lucy was, her own wetness dripping between her legs. 
She got closer to the sweet spot, her lips kissed Lucy's wet sensitive lips, jolting as she felt Ona. 
Ona dipped her tongue between Lucy's lips, coating her tongue in the girl's juices. Lucy gasped as her head rolled back. Ona took another long lick hitting Lucy's already swollen clit, groaning as she tasted the girl above. 
Lucy watched as Ona started to lap at her pussy, she gently stroked the younger girl's face, her fingertips brushed at her hair. She softly undid the girl's bun, hair long hair fell down her back. Lucy cradled Ona’s head as she moved her hips, rocking herself into her talented mouth. 
Ona sighed as Lucy ran her fingers through her scalp, making her shiver from the touch. 
“Ona. Your mouth. Fuck, you’re so good.”
Ona let out a low chuckle, making Lucy gasp from the vibration. She continued to lick at Lucy's cunt, swallowing her arousal every couple of minutes. Lucy gripped Ona’s hair, fucking her face gently as the girl pleasured her. She began to pick up the pace of her hips as she felt her orgasm spread up her body.
“I’m going to come.”
Ona groaned, she continued her movements, keeping the pace Lucy needed. Lucy gripped at Ona’s hair, pushing her closer between her legs. Her legs started to shake as she felt the warm sensation rise up from her stomach.
“That's it. Ona, don’t stop. Good girl. That’s soo good.”
As she came she pushed the girl's head closer to her core, needing the girl ever closer to her, her tongue was suckling her clit perfectly. She rode out her orgasm as long as she could. Ona could feel Lucy's orgasm washing over her mouth. Lucy gasped as Ona carried on licking her through the come down, she stroked her hair, allowing the girl to clean her up. She rocked her hips into her mouth for a couple more minutes, feeling Ona’s tongue against her.
“Wow, you’re talented.” Lucy chuckled.
Ona pulled back, her mouth was dripping with Lucy’s fluids. She panted as her cheeks turned a shade of pink from the compliment.
“You taste even better than I imagined.” 
“Have you imagined it a lot?” Lucy whispered. 
Ona nodded, smirking devilishly. “A lot.”
“Fuck.” 
Lucy leaned down, capturing Ona’s lips with her own, she moaned as she tasted herself on the girl. Ona’s cunt was throbbing she whimpered as Lucy began to pull her thongs down. The younger brunette  sighed as she felt the cold air hit her painfully sensitive pussy. Lucy smirked as she threw the ruined thongs over her shoulder. She looked down at Ona’s drenched pussy.
“Is that how wet you get just from making me come? Making me feel so good?” 
Ona bit her lip and nodded, not able to form words. 
“You’re amazing.” 
Lucy dipped her pointer finger between Ona’s velvety folds, groaning at the wetness. Ona jumped at the contact as Lucy just barely touched her. Lucy pushed her finger into her mouth.
“You taste so fucking good.” 
Ona panted below, desperately needing anything Lucy would give to her. Lucy placed her hand back between Ona’s spread legs, stroking her finger through her sensitive flesh. She dipped her finger into Ona’s cunt, her tight muscles flexing around her digit.
“Lucy.” 
“I love when you say my name.” Lucy growled as she began to fuck Ona. 
The younger girl let out soft moans as Lucy picked up the pace, she easily pushed another finger inside her, cutting off Ona’s crys with a deep kiss. 
“Lucy.” Ona was starting to whimper, the older girl closed her eyes, listening to the way the Spaniard moaned her name, her own pussy becoming wet again, just from the sounds of the girl.
Lucy began to kiss down Ona’s body, she sucked in Ona’s nipple, loving the way Ona’s head rolled back. She then moved over to the other side, giving it just as much attention. The girl's small body began to roll, her noises were becoming louder as Lucy’s fingers relentless fucked her.
She moved further down, gliding her tongue over Ona’s abs. The shorter girl squirmed as she felt Lucy's tongue move skirt over her flesh. Lucy began to kiss Ona’s pubic bone, loving the way she moaned. She felt the younger girl's hand thread into her hair, pushing her close to where she clearly wanted her. Lucy smiled as she kissed lower and lower. 
Finally, Lucy wrapped her lips around Ona’s swollen clit, the cry she let out was music to the older girl's ears. The hand in her hair tightened as she worked the girl's body, her fingers picked up a faster pace, causing Ona’s back to curve. Her vision began to blur as Lucy kept up the beautiful pleasure on her body. 
“Lucy!”
Lucy only hummed, not wanting to stop, she could feel Ona was getting close, her legs began to shake as her cunt tightened on her fingers, squeezing them tightly. Ona couldn't believe the way Lucy was pushing her body, she could feel her head becoming dizzy, she scrunched her eyes shut she felt the warm sensation prickle her skin.
“Merda! Lucyyyy!”
The hands pushed her further into her cunt, guiding her head up and down, Lucy loved the way Ona was controlling her movements to do what she wanted. Then she felt it before she heard it. Ona became silent, her body went rigid, but Lucy didn’t stop, she suckled and fucked Ona until she pushed her over that edge. 
“Lu-Lu….Lucyyyyyy!” 
Ona came, loud and hard. Her thighs clamped around Lucy's head as she rode out her orgasm. Her hips thrusted into Lucy's mouth as she felt her legs start to give in, panting loudly as Lucy kept up her movements. Finally the girl's body went limp, her chest was panting fast as she tried to catch her breath. 
Lucy slowly took her fingers out of Ona. She couldn't stop the smile on her face seeing the girl benather her looking completely wrecked.
“You okay?” 
“Lucy. Merda. Fuck.”
Lucy laid next to the girl laughing at her gaping face. 
She couldn't help but kiss the girl, she could definitely get used to this site. 
The girls laid with each other for another hour talking about the last couple of months.
“So when I saw you dance with her I just lost it. It was so selfish of me. I regret it so much.” Lucy stroked Ona’s back as she explained herself. 
Ona listened, she didn't hold any grudges, she would have probably done what Lucy did, maybe not as cold, but they were different people. They handled things differently. 
“When I saw you on the bridge, it made me realise just how stupid I was being. I needed to sort it out even if you didn't want me like that. I at least wanted you as a friend.”
Ona smiled as she kissed Lucy, she couldn't believe they had wanted each other for so long, and not see it as clear as everyone around them. The girls were in bliss, finally they got what they wanted. They spent the next couple of days of the Christmas break with each other, learning everything they could about the other. 
Learning everything they could about each other's bodies, what she liked, what she didn't like. What she sounded like after 3 orgasms in a row. How Ona liked her hair pulled when she fucked Lucy with her fingers. How Lucy liked to watch Ona when she rode her with a strap. And so much more.
 Everything was perfect. 
But the short Christmas break ended and work came, so the girls decided to spend a night apart. Even though it killed them to do it, they knew they needed to have at least a day apart, they would see each other the next morning when Lucy picked up Ona for work.
Lucy stood at Ona’s door. Kissing the shorter girl deeply, holding her body next to hers. 
“I’ll miss you.” Ona whispered.
“I’ll miss you too. I’ll call you when I get in?”
Ona nodded, she looked up at Lucy giving her those big brown doe eyes. Making it so much harder for Lucy to leave. 
“Onaaaa. Don’t”
The shorter girl giggled. “Sorry. Go, call me when you get in.” 
—------- 
Lucy yawned as she drove to pick up Ona. The girls had spoken late into the night, not going to bed till late. But Lucy had a new spring in her step, she felt so happy. She finally got the girl that she loved, yeah loved. It was the start of love, both girls felt it, neither saying anything as this was new, but they both felt it. 
She was surprised when she didn't see Ona sitting at her usual spot on the wall. She had never been late. Maybe she slept in from their late night call. She pulled up the car like she normally did. Maybe she was in a queue at the coffee shop? Lucy sat there for a moment, she texted Ona to say she was outside, but didn't get a text back. Lucy eyed up Ona’s building, something didn't feel right .
She got out of the car and walked to the wall where Ona sat, that's when she felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She spotted two coffee cups spilt on the floor. It was the coffee shop where Ona got their drinks. She felt the blood drain from her face. Where was Ona?
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