#She will feed neighbors or sick friends

[americas-ass-writing]

Happy Ending

Steve Rogers x reader

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: some swear words

A/N: For @fluffystevefest last day (it went by so fast)! Thank you for doing this 🥰

I wrote this on my phone so there will probably be mistakes 😅

Devider by @saradika-graphics

Happy endings were something from fairytales. The real life didn't offer this. Steve would know. Every single piece of happiness was taken from him after way too short. His dad, his mom soon after, Bucky (who luckily returned to him), his own life. After trying to reclaim what he could of his life things looked better. He had friends, a found family, a sense of purpose... only for it to be taken far too soon. After the fight with Thanos everyone went their separate ways. Tony quit to be with his family, Natasha went on a lengthy solo mission. Sam and Bucky went on their own adventures after Steve gave the shield to Sam, too tired to continue being cap. Being someone he just isn't anymore. Thor went back to new Asgard. Bruce went to California. Which leaves Steve alone in New York. Alone to pick up the shambles of his and everyone else's life. Alone.

The only social contacts he has are Peter when he needs help with his history homework, the old man from across the hall who bakes too much and gives Steve some sweet treats every sunday and the stray cats in the alley behind the building that he feeds. And theres the people from the therapy group he leads... And of course the people on the street who absolutely seem to hate him and love to let him know.

Do his neighbors to the left that constantly fight so loud he hears every word count? Steve sighs as he hears then fight once more and he isn't strong enough to hold himself back. "Fucking finally break. up! The building is sick and tired of you two fighting! Move out!" He barks against the wall. Against the picture of him and his friends... who kind of broke up. No more avengers... No more found family. Steve blinks at the picture and mutters a sorry before someone bangs on his door. Great! It's probably the asshole from next door.

With another sigh he goes to open the door. The angry gnome from next door stops in his tracks, the red falling from his face faster than his eyes grow the size of dinner plates because of all people it was the ex captain America that just told him to fucking break up. "Uh..." Steve rolls his eyes at the stammering. "Listen, sorry for the profanities but damn I'm so annoyed at your constant fighting. Keep it down or I'll complain to the building manager." He says, his tone serious and the gnome nods as if Steve just gave him an order... Well maybe he did. Steves eyes flutter to the poor girlfriend who stands in the doorframe. She's cute. "You deserve better." Is all he says before he turns around, catches a glimpse of the old man, Stanley, across the hall and closes the door. He lets out another sigh and crawls back onto the couch. Silence at last... At least in his environment..his head is loud as ever as his eyes fall back on the picture of his found family. Maybe he should go visit Tony. Or maybe Clint on the farm? Maybe he could guilt trip them all to see him for his birthday? He purses his lips and is about to text them when there's a gentle knock on his door. He swears if it's that gnome again he'll punch him into the next century.

As Steve opens the door he's met with the most beautiful woman he's every seen. His eyes grow wider and his mouth opens slightly. "H...Hi! You don't know me, I just moved in on the other side of the loud apartment... I just uh... Thank you for making them shut up?" You give him and unsure smile and all he can do is nod and stare. Which makes you nervous. "I uh... I had the night shift and I should sleep but they were so loud I couldn't. I already knocked against the wall but that didn't stop them. So thank you again!" You ramble on, nervously wringing your hands. Something makes Steve snap out of it. "Oh! No problem... They annoy me a lot too, although I don't have... work..." He offers awkwardly and then he holds out his hand. "I'm Steve" you smile softly at that and put your hand in his, offering your name. He softly shakes it and maybe holds it for a bit too long, not that any of you care.

"I should let you get back to sleep. Night shift sounds awful. Exhausting job?" He asks with an easy smile. "Sometimes? It's just exhausting when you have the night shift immediately after your move to scream town" he chuckles at your joke, which makes your insides release thousands of butterflies. "Yeah I think the building manager makes them leave for showings. They didn't scream for mine or for Stan's showing" he points to the door across from him and you immediately know that that must be where Stan lives. "They probably do or they'd have an empty floor" you joke and there's another sweet chuckle. "I uh... Thanks again, I'll leave you to it." You say before he can answer and give him a sweet smile and a small wave before heading back to your apartment. Steves heart flutters as he watches you leave. Did screaming at the gnome just introduce him to the sweetest human alive? He closes his door after you've entered your apartment. With a new pep in his step he goes to his phone and reaches out to his friends.

It's just a couple of days later when you knock on his door again. He's surprised to see you but oh so happy. "Hey sorry if I'm disturbing you" he smiles and shakes his head, urging you to go on. "I... That'll sound like I'm a creep but I uh... I saw you feed the strays and I wanted to bring you some food for them." You hold up the bag of food and Steve smiles sweetly. "Yeah... I started feeding them when I moved in. Can't have 3 cats though and I can't just take one. Would be a shame to separate them" he says as he takes the bag from you and thanks you sweetly. "Yeah it would be... They're so cute though" you gush and he smiles even more. "Hey uh... Wanna come in? Stan made too much cake and gave me like half of it... We could share?" You immediately nod and give him a shy smile. "I'd love that" Steve beams at that and let's you in. As you sit down he gets some tea for the both of you and gives you some cake.

One slice of cake turned into two. That turned into dinner and dinner turned into the two of you kissing on his couch. Kissing on his couch turned into a beautiful relationship filled with love and laughter. Steve has never been happier and he vowed to the universe to give everything in his power to not lose you. And whoever in the universe listened fulfilled his wish. A short engagement led to a beautiful outdoor wedding on Tony's property with everyone from his found family showing up. The two of you bought a house and moved in together with the 3 strays that you just couldn't leave behind. And your little family soon grew to a family of 7 when you got pregnant with twins.

Steve has never been prouder to carry a title then the title of daddy. Little chubby hands around his finger, big eyes taking in the wonder of the world and your beautiful smile as you're watching him with your little ones.

If Steve would have to describe a happy ending it would be this. You, his little ones and the 3 cats.

[drdemonprince]

also a good-faith question: what do i tell some of my friends who are terrified of the collapse of the current system for like, survival reasons? like in ways that mutual aid and community support can't really help.

i was trying to explain all this stuff to my friend the other day who is on government support and needs a lot of intensive, expensive medical intervention to live, and she accused me of being willing to sacrifice disabled people for the sake of ideological purity but like, i wasn't saying she doesn't deserve to live, but that she doesn't deserve to live more than palestinians do? and that she also doesn't deserve to specifically live on stolen land. and like, there are palestinians who also could really use those medical treatments that she has the privilege of accessing, why does she deserve them more?

she said she can't afford to not care about the election results because if anything happens to the aca or medicaid, or if anything happens to the medical supply chains, then she's fucked. like, yeah, but same goes for all these people our country is oppressing??

i feel like i just didn't explain this well and i want to give her some other stuff to read.

Great question! I think when people believe that all social care systems will collapse without the government, they are buying into a very colonialist idea that human beings are at their most basic level selfish and irresponsible and won't care for their communities. This is not the case! Thousands of years of human history prove this not to be the case, and so do the behaviors of humans right now during moments of crisis.

Look to the people of Gaza -- they are not leaving their disabled behind. People are sacrificing all that they have to care for their elderly relatives, neighbors, and friends. The only reason that disabled people in Gaza are dying is because the region is being deliberately deprived of resources by Israel. If aid were let in and the Palestinian people were free, they would feed their hungry, treat their sick, supply insulin, teach children, and perform everything that we currently in the US rely upon the government to supply.

Another example of this can be found in how humans respond to natural disasters. Rebecca Solnit's book A Paradise Built in Hell is a beautiful read on this, following numerous real-life disasters across the globe. In every case, people did not riot and pillage or dissolve into violence--- they formed stable encampments, doctors and pharmacists worked their jobs without pay, cooks made food without expecting a wage, everyone pooled their resources and looked after one another.

We also see examples of this when other governments have fallen -- and all governments eventually do! When a nation-state ends, life doesn't end. People keep going to work to make the medicine and put on the leg casts and wash physically disabled people's bodies and make the food. People WANT to feel useful, helpful, included, and looked after, and they will do these things without being forced to by an authoritarian power structure. We see this in the campus encampments and the incredible outpouring of generosity they are experiencing too.

It is quite common for a person to mistakenly believe that the government is all that is keeping our social order working, and that we are all just one moment away from violent chaos and deprivation without it. But that really isn't true. Even without the government, we will still have the *people* who understand how food production and logistics work, the *people* who research and test the drugs, the *people* who watch the children and nurse the elders and fix the roads and butcher chickens.

Without the alienating, exploitative economic structure we currently have, it would actually be EASIER and more efficient for us to take care of one another with these skills, because our time wouldnt be wasted on bullshit jobs that don't contribute to society.

There are lots of great readings about all of this on the Anarchist Library, but I recommend starting with David Graeber's books! Bullshit Jobs, then Debt the first 5000 Years, then Utopia of Rules, then Dawn of Everything. Bullshit Jobs is the easiest read.

[dontforgetukraine]

Tetiana, 73, in her basement in the front-line city of Toretsk, Donetsk Oblast, on July 3, 2024. (George Ivanchenko / The Kyiv Independent)

A basement in the front-line city of Toretsk, Donetsk Oblast, on July 3, 2024. (George Ivanchenko / The Kyiv Independent)

Life in the basement

His friends and colleagues have evacuated, and his family has gone: “My mom was sick, there was no heating in winter, so I sent her to Dnipro for free treatment. Then she died. Now I’m alone, I have no one left.” “I don't believe the radio – I believe only my eyes. This has been going on for 10 years now, and I don't know where it will end.” In the next basement room, where 73-year-old Tetiana lives with her daughter Oksana and an elderly neighbor, a woman's voice, speaking Russian, is just audible on the radio. ”We listen to anything, just to hear something. I'm grateful to my neighbor because he made a battery-powered radio, otherwise we'd be like moles here. You could go crazy just listening to explosions,” says Tetiana. Tetiana now takes care of dogs and cats that people left in their apartments when they fled the city. “I have eight dogs here, and I don't know how many cats,” she says. “I feed as many of them as I can find – I can't even count them. They’re all hungry and dehydrated. I go out to feed them and run into the bushes if there's a drone flying. It's very scary. But what can I do? I feel sorry for the animals too.” Tetiana previously worked at a sanitary inspector’s office, and her daughter worked in a mine, maintaining flashlights and lanterns for the miners. “I don't think about anything, I don't want to think about things – I don't want to be sad. We think about staying alive. We’re on the brink.” She starts to cry. “We’re on the brink. But I can't leave the animals behind.” The women have some food and water, but not enough candles and batteries for their flashlights. Their phones are all dead, and anyway there’s no cellphone signal here. They try not to leave the basement because of the constant attacks. “Shells and drones are falling all the time, and the worst things are the warplanes. Warplanes and artillery,” says Tetiana.

Source: Land on fire: Russia's offensive in Donetsk Oblast brings destruction to new towns (Photos

[metallicaislife]

Unwell

A/N: A self indulgent blurb bc I don't feel good and wish this was a reality hahah 😭💕

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 805

Warnings: Swearing

“I have a cough, are you sure you still want me to come over?” I asked Saul over the phone as I sat on my couch. 

“It’s probably just your smokers' hack.” He replied. 

“Tell her if she doesn’t get here soon we’re gonna start the movie without her!” I heard Duff yell in the background. 

“You heard the man.” Saul said. 

“Fine.” I grumbled, “I’ll be there soon.” 

“See ya fucker.” Saul hung up. 

I rolled my eyes and got up putting a jacket on. I drove to Saul’s and entered without knocking. 

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Duff said as I entered the living room. 

“Shut up McKagan.” I said plopping down on the couch. 

“You know what I love best about you? Your cheery disposition.” Duff grinned. 

“Haha.” I said dryly and flipped him off. “What are we watching?” I asked, turning my attention to Saul who walked in with some popcorn. 

“I rented Labyrinth.” He smiled. I grinned back at him as he sat next to me. I’ve known Saul for a couple years, we used to be neighbors in an apartment building, and kept in contact after he moved. I have the biggest crush on him, but I’m content just being his friend.

The movie started and I wanted to melt into his side like normal but my throat kept tickling and I had to cough every few minutes. 

“Jesus.” Duff huffed. 

“I warned Saul.” I said. 

Duff and I were best frenemies. He’s the sweetest guy but we love to push each other's buttons. 

About half way through the movie I got up to use the restroom. 

“Want me to pause it?” Saul asked. 

“Nah, I've already seen it a bunch of times.” I replied. 

When I came out of the bathroom the movie was paused.

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” I grumbled.

Duff threw his head back with a laugh. 

“What’s wrong?” Saul asked.

“I just started my period, I’m pretty sure I have a cold, and look at the dark bags under my eyes, I’m pretty sure they have their own goddamn zip code.” I said pointing to my eyes. 

“You do look like you got dragged to hell by a semi-truck.” Duff said laughing. I flipped him off and he raised his hands, “sorry. I’ll leave you be.” He continued laughing as he left. 

“Go lay in my bed and I’ll bring you some soup.” Saul said. 

“No it’s okay, I should probably go home.” I said, grabbing my jacket. Saul caught my elbow. 

“I wasn’t asking. Go lay down.” He said again. My heart melted a little, as did my resolve to leave. 

“Thank you.” I said and made my way to his room. I found some of his clothes changing into them then cocooned myself in his blankets. 

Saul came in a short while later with a bowl. I sat up and he handed it to me. 

“Thank you.” I smiled softly. He sat next to me as I sipped on the soup. He reached out, putting his hand on my forehead. 

“You feel warm. When you finish the soup you should sleep.” He stated. 

“Are you sure I can stay here? I don't mind driving home.” I said. 

“If you go home, who is going to take care of you?” He asked. 

“Me.” I replied. He shook his head.

“That won’t do.” He said. 

“But what if you get sick?” I asked him softly.

“Then you can take care of me.” He smiled. 

“You’d love it if I played nurse, huh?” I teased with a small laugh that triggered a cough. He took the soup from my hands so I didn’t spill. When I regained my breath he brought the spoon to my mouth. 

“You’re right, I would love it if you were my nurse.” He grinned and continued feeding me the soup. My cheeks were heated and it wasn’t the fever. When I finished the soup Saul left to take the bowl to the kitchen. 

I laid back down feeling more tired than I had realized. 

Saul came back to his room and I heard him shuffling about until the bed dipped and I felt him get under the covers. He scooted over until he was right behind me. He wrapped a strong arm around me pulling me into him. We cuddled on a couch during movies. This is new though. 

“Are you comfortable?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” I replied softly. 

“Good. Now get some sleep, okay?” He said and nuzzled his head on top of mine. 

I thought my heart would have been trying to beat out of my chest but all I felt was peace and safety. My last thought before drifting off was that I don’t think Saul and I will be just friends for much longer. 

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[maxislvt]

Baby It's Cold Outside

Summary: Wanda had always kept an eye out for her neighbor. So when she finds you alone and cold on Christmas, she can't help but intervene.

Warnings: Age-gap relationships, R being gay again, also it's not projecting if it's part of the request!!

A/N: This reads like a fucking Hallmark movie.

Event Masterlist

❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆

Being neighbors with Wanda had many perks. She was a kind soul. It didn’t matter what the occasion was — if someone needed help, she was the first to step up and make a plan. She attended every PTA and neighborhood watch meeting she possibly could. Wanda was the sun of Westview, and not a single person could escape her compassionate rays. No one except her adorable little hermit of a next-door neighbor. You were a bit of a mystery in the community. You were young, just moved in, and seemingly didn’t know anyone in the area. As if the lack of attachments wasn’t enough, you were painfully shy. You had missed the first few community parties since no one could contact you. When you did attend the first pool party, all you did was sit on a floatie and drink.

Wanda was fortunate enough to be one of the few people you actually talked to in the neighborhood. Though the conversations were brief, she learned a lot about you. Most of it was through simply watching you but you were surprisingly open with Wanda. Despite your crippling shyness, you worked in retail. You had a really bad habit of putting your hand in your face when you spoke. Wanda assumed it was so you had an excuse not to look people in the eye. You also really enjoyed photography. You loved it so much, that the simple promise of taking pictures was all it took to get you out of the house. Wanda even convinced the principal to commission you to take yearbook photos.

Wanda thought you were the cutest thing to ever wander into the neighborhood. Though she denied it if anyone asked, the older woman had developed a slight crush on you. She was kind to you because she was kind to everybody, but not everyone could say that Wanda gave them homemade lunch every Wednesday. In fact, those Wednesday lunch boxes were the start of a real relationship between you and Wanda.

"Here you go, sweetheart! I made sure to add some extra Oreos in there!" Wanda was always extra bubbly on Wednesdays. She'd wait until the morning to actually pack your lunch so you'd have no choice but to sit down and warm up a bit before heading off to work. Having actual conversations and hearing your thoughts about the world was oddly relaxing for her. Any relaxation she got from that day's conversation was immediately thrown out the window when her hands brushed yours. "Your hands are as cold as ice! You're not sick are you?" Wanda carefully grabbed your hand and squeezed.

The extra touch made you jump out of your skin. "Oh! I'm fine, my heater sorta broke last night while I was sleeping. I'm working an extra shift tonight so I can get fixed, don't worry about me!!" You and Wanda had been friends for almost a year and you had yet to learn how she worked. Every time you told her not to worry, she would only worry about you more. "I got a heated blanket and a lot of pillows on my bed, I'll be fine for a few days!" A brave smile spread across your face with the hopes of getting Wanda to relax about your condition.

Wanda pressed the back of her hand against your forehead. Your temperature was fine and you seemed to only have the sniffles, but she wasn't going to leave you out to the wolves. "Fine, but let me make you some soup for lunch!" Before you could refuse, Wanda took the lunch box out of your hand and headed back towards the kitchen. "There's some pancakes leftover from breakfast this morning if you want and I'll make sure to make extra dinner tonight so you'll have something warm before bed."

Your heart nearly exploded out of your chest. Just taking lunch from her once a week made you feel guilty, you'd never live down having her feed you three times in one day. "No, that's not necessary! I'm sure what you made me today is enough," You said as you reached for the lunch box. "Plus, isn't tonight when Vision comes over? I'd hate to intrude or give the wrong impression!" You continued to make grabby hands until Wanda used her free hand to cup your face.

"I'm going to make you soup for lunch and you're going to eat breakfast while I do it. Then, I'm going to drop you off at work to make up for having to stay." With her careful grip on your face and confident tone of voice, you were hopeless against her. "Vision wants to commission you again anyways. You two can talk about that over dinner." She gave your cheeks an affectionate squeeze before letting you go.

Having Wanda talk to you like that had certainly awakened something in you, but you elected to mindlessly follow her orders rather than think too hard about your attraction to your neighbor. "I'm sorry, but I can't do any more photography right now…my lens got scratched up and I can't afford to replace it right now." Opening up to Wanda was a slippery slope. One minute you're lamenting about your struggles and the next she's draining her wallet just to help.

Wanda nodded along as she began to cook. "Ah, well he won't need it until early next year so there's enough time to get that in order! What type of camera do you use?" She felt bad about taking advantage of your misfortune, but it was the only way you'd accept a gift from her. "Oh, and there's some juice in the fridge if you want."

Had you not been busy eating, you would've noticed the trap Wanda had set up. "Oh well, I'll use any camera, but I mostly prefer digital cameras over anything." The feeling of a homecook meal filling your stomach was wonderful. "This breakfast is really good, thank you Ms.Maximoff!"

Wanda sighed as she put a glass of juice next to your plate. "I told you, Wanda is just fine. You make me feel like I already have grandkids."She playfully flicked your forehead before turning back to the stove. "Also, a broken camera won't get you out of dinner. It'll be ready as soon as you get off work!"

You let out a sigh of defeat but continued eating. "Okay, just promise not to go overboard because I'm gonna be there. You know how you get with guests."

❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆

Wanda had decided to take step back after having you over for dinner. You spent days desperately coming up with ways to pay back her kindness. After enough pleading, the two of you settled on just having you entertain the boys while she went gift shopping. Though Wanda was hesitant to leave you with the boys and take up your weekend, she left anyways.

After being stuck in dreadfully long lines and the densest traffic she'd ever seen, Wanda didn't exactly have high hopes when she returned. Billy was calm on his own, but Tommy had a way of bringing his brother out of his shell and into his world of chaos. Which was to say she was rather surprised to see her sons resting peacefully on the couch with you sandwiched in between. "Oh, this is definitely a first."

You looked up from the tv and smiled. "Yeah, Tommy was a bit of rugrat. Turns out he really likes puzzles though, it's a really easy weakness to exploit." You carefully moved out from between the twins. "I can help bring the gifts in if you want. I don't know how long these two will stay asleep when they realize I'm gone."

Wanda didn't bother trying to refuse you. "I would really appreciate that. Just hide them in Vision's old study for me." She handed you off the first few bags she brought in the house. "Do you have any plans for Christmas?" It was a simple question, but one that made her unreasonably nervous. "I mean, you probably do, but if not there's always a seat at my table for you!" She batted her eyelash and flashed the prettiest smile she could. "Even if you just step in to say hi, it'll make me really happy."

Rather than answer her, you just kept bringing in bags. You couldn't tell her the truth. There weren't any Christmas plans and you would just spend the day cooped up in your house. Wanda wouldn't let you do that. "Welp, that's all the gifts! Hope you and kids have a nice winter break!"

Wanda grabbed your coat sleeve before you could walk out of the house. She pulled your back flush against her chest. "I'd really appreciate it if you showed up." Her hands slid to your front and zipped up your jacket. She considered giving you a kiss on the cheek, but the moment was ruined by her twins' disgust.

"Noo, don't let mom give you cooties!"

You burst out into laughter at Tommy's interjection. "There's no cootie giving here. I promise your mom doesn't like me that way." The words sounded neutral leaving your mouth, but they disappointed you. "I'm sure Ms — Wanda wants someone her own age and more capable." You giggled to lighten the mood. "Well, I'm off to work! Call me if you need help wrapping stuff!"

"Fine, but the offer still stands!"

❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆

Christmas day had arrived and you were nowhere to be found. The whole neighborhood and their relatives had packed themselves into her house, but you were just a ghost.

"Wow Wands, I'm surprised you haven't been showing off that new plaything of yours yet." Agatha's teasing voice filled the air. "Their car's still parked. They can't have gone far."

Wanda frowned at Agatha's description of you. "They're not my plaything and even if they were, I wouldn't show them off like some dog." Deep down, she knew part of that wasn't true. She'd happily show you around like a new puppy if you'd let her, but you weren't hers to show off. Not yet at least. "I'll go check on them, but promise not to say anything weird if they come over." Wanda grabbed her coat and made her way to your front door. At first, she just looked around to see if you were there. Maybe you'd been picked up by someone else when she wasn't looking out her kitchen window and hoping you'd walk over to her house. The adorable sight of you sleepily hunched over your laptop was all the confirmation she needed.

The knock on your door startled you. You climbed off your kitchen countertop and opened the door. Wanda standing in front of your door with her arms crossed was not what you expected at all. "Oh, hey Wanda." You stood up straighter and fixed your clothes. "Is everything alright, do you need me to watch the boys?" It confused you when Wanda shook her head. You peeked over to her house and noticed all the cars lined up in front of her house. "Oh, your Hanukkah party! How's that going?"

Wanda could only sigh. "No dear, it's my Christmas party. You know, the one I invited you to last week?" She watched as your face fell. You looked like a kid that just got caught with their hand in a cookie jar. "You're not taking anything from anyone by coming. Just a few hours, that's all I want." Her heart nearly exploded watching you shift from side to side.

"Why are you so nice to me all the time? I'm just your neighbor." Being defensive when you had no excuse wasn't a good habit, but you'd rather die than have Wanda waste another ounce of her kindness on you. "I'll be fine. My heat is back on and I've got enough food. Just go have fun." You got ready to close the door only for Wanda to put her foot in the hinge.

"I'm nice to you because I like you." It was Wanda's turn to blush. Karma for all the times she'd left you a stuttering mess for her own amusement. "I understand if you're not interested, but every time I see you I just get the urge to take care of you. It makes me sad seeing you overwork yourself and huddle up in your house all day." She gripped your door frame hoping you'd be at least kind enough to reject her softly.

Your heart was beating a thousand miles a minute. None of the words swirling in your head made sense. You were overjoyed at Wanda's confession, but you didn't wanna seem like a nerd in front of her. "...I'll…I'll go to your party, just let me get washed up first." You slowly opened the door and let Wanda into your home. "Sit down if you'd like, I'll be showering upstairs."

While you showered and rehearsed your own confession, Wanda roamed your house. There wasn't much, but you cared for what you had. The video games were neatly stacked and organized, your couch and furniture had just been cleaned, and the fruit washed and ready to eat. "You really do a good job at keeping… What is that?" The compliments on your house care were cut off by Wanda's astonishment at the sweater you choose to wear.

You looked down at your sweater and smiled happily. "Oh, I got it from the store I work at. I didn't get to wear it last year so I'm bringing it out today…do you like it?" The graphic skeleton with a Santa hat, mug of hot liquid, and decorations in its chest cavity wasn't exactly what Wanda expected of your style, but it was cute on you regardless.

"I think it's very cute. Now let's go, people we ask questions if they don't see me after a while."

You grabbed Wanda's hand and tugged it before she reached the door. "I really like you too. I understand if you want to go slow because of the boys, but I'm willing to commit." The seriousness on your face was foreign. "I'll try not to be such a hermit!"

Wanda kissed your cheek and simply led you back to her house. It was obvious you had practiced your confession, but she could always tease you about it later. Thankfully, not many people noticed how long she was gone so you were able to sneak into the crowd without too many questions. Of course, nothing escaped Agatha's watchful eyes but Wanda shielded you from her invasive questions.

Christmas was the first time you had stayed until the end of an event. Sure you had the ulterior motives of making a good impression on Wanda, but you genuinely had fun and hadn't noticed the hours ticked by. Cleaning and putting the boys to bed took a while, but you were satisfied to see Wanda's house back to its original state.

"Here! I meant to give you this when you first came over, but you were too busy partying to notice." Wanda carefully placed a box down on the countertop and smiled. She giggled at your hesitation. "You're not gonna refuse a Christmas gift from your girlfriend, are you?"

The title made your face hot. "That's a low blow, especially for you!" You carefully pulled off the wrapping paper and lifted the lid. Your heart stopped once you saw what was inside. "Wanda, this is almost a thousand dollars worth of equipment! I can't accept this, I didn't get you anything."

While you mulled over a way to pay Wanda back, her mind began to wander. "I can think of a few ways you can pay me back," She whispered. Her hands cupped your face and pulled you in for a kiss. It was a lot deeper than the ones she imagined giving you before. "A few more of those and we'll be even. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

[arcofacatboy]

Remember when, towards the beginning of Unwind, Connor sees a storked baby on someone’s doorstep?

Connor has just escaped the juvies less than 48 hours beforehand. Right now, his main focus is not getting caught by juvies and being unwound as a result. He has Risa and Lev to look out for - not that he knows either of them very well at this point - but his main goal, at this point, is saving his own skin (literally). Connor didn’t object when his classmate, and fellow unwind, Andy Jameson, sacrificed himself for him. It was implied in a Facebook post (all the way back in 2011!) that Connor and Andy were friends - and Andy was ultimately unwound because he saved Connor’s life. Andy is never mentioned again. Connor feels no guilt over Andy entering a divided state for him.

And yet, when Connor sees that baby on the doorstep, he panics.

It’s not like the general public in the Unwind Universe care about storks that much. Starkey was tormented by his status as a stork - everyone else thought he was a joke because of it, and he hated himself for that. Bam feels similarly, and is no stranger to becoming aggressive with those who try to belittle her because she was abandoned as a baby. No adults seemed to want to help them in this regard - they sent Bam and Starkey off to be unwound in the end, because their status as storks and the lack of affection from everyone in their lives came to be too much, and their anger was no longer contained and internalized. Bam lived - but Starkey ultimately died because he, more than anything, wanted to be something other than a stork to be unwound, who wouldn’t amount to anything.

But that’s not the point here, really. Connor doesn’t know Bam or Starkey, let alone that Starkey will die at his only remaining hand. He’s not panicking because someone he knows is a stork, and is suffering because of it. Someone he knew was a stork, and died because not a single person in his neighborhood cared about keeping him alive.

A baby was put on the doorstep of Connor’s parents. They knew why he was there - they had been storked, and they were now legally, and morally, obligated to take in the baby as their own.

But they already had a seven year old and a four year old! Two boys, no less! They had no need for a third son. Surely no one had seen them be storked by whatever irresponsible girl had gotten herself pregnant and given her baby up to good, hardworking people, who shouldn’t have had to bear the burden of her bad decisions.

Surely no one would notice if they just moved the baby to the doorstep of the neighbors. Surely they wouldn’t mind raising a son.

But no one said a damn thing.

Two weeks later, the baby boy showed up on the Lassiter’s doorstep - again.

He was visibly sick, so close to death that only then, out of pity for the infant, did the Lassiter parents take him in. He died in the hospital - most likely alone, having never known a world in which he was wanted. He never knew a world in which he wasn’t passed from porch to porch, doorstep to doorstep, suffering, alone and sick, because of the silence and apathy of everyone around him.

Everyone in the neighborhood came to the baby’s funeral, a funeral that was only held because it would have looked terrible for the Lassiter parents to not hold a funeral for the baby that died on their watch, and was technically their son. And they all cried. They knew they were all responsible for that baby boy dying, so they cried and cried, never admitting guilt, never admitting that one of them could have saved the baby’s life - and they chose not to.

Connor was only seven when the baby died. And yet, at sixteen, the death of the baby still haunts him. And here he is, face to face with the same situation. There is a baby on a doorstep - and the recipient of this precious gift is complaining about having to care for another unwanted child.

He remembers the death of the baby who could have been his neighbor, or his baby brother, if anyone around him had showed an ounce of compassion. A horrible thought strikes him.

This baby could suffer the same fate.

Connor is already so close to death himself. He could be caught by juvies at any moment. If he gets caught, Risa and Lev could die, too.

But, if he doesn’t act now, so could the baby.

So he goes to save her. He confronts the recipient of the storked child with no real plan. He just wants to save the baby. He can’t let another baby die because of human selfishness and apathy.

Risa steps in, making up a lie that she and Connor are the baby’s parents, and tells the recipient that she’ll take her baby back. Risa is furious with Connor, and chews him out. What could make him do a stupid thing like that? The three of them could be caught at any moment, and a screaming, crying baby isn’t going to make escaping persecution any easier.

But Connor couldn’t let Didi die.

Unwind came out in 2007 - it celebrated its seventeenth birthday last November. Unwind is now so old that, if it was a teenager, it couldn’t be unwound itself! So why bring up a well-known scene from the very start of the book.

Like the book itself, it comes back to Neal Shusterman.

@nealshustermanreal - remember what you wrote. While The Schwa Was Here might have been your first critically acclaimed book, Unwind is why you’re here today - why you are anything to anyone. And while all your books (that I’ve read) have complex themes of morality, like the anecdote I just mentioned above, remember that Unwind is what most people who know you, know you from. They know about Baby Lassiter, and they know about baby Didi. They know that silence, apathy, and complacency does more harm than good - they know that because of you.

And yet, here you are. People are dying in droves, and the people that aren’t dying are being injured, having their homes destroyed, being forced to watch their loved ones die, or otherwise being terrorized. Palestinians are dying. And yet, you wait over two months to say anything about it. You wait until your book tour, promoting a graphic novel you wrote about another genocide, is over. You send out an email quietly, an email that only those who are subscribed to your newsletter will see. And your statement seems to be an afterthought, squeezed between a paragraph on how you approach presenting your books on tour, and links to where you can buy a signed copy of your new, shiny graphic novel about genocide. And this is what you say.

Most of your fans, at least on this platform, know of this email. We’ve all seen it. But I want to focus on that last part.

“I’ve taken a stand - by refusing to feed that mentality. The situation is tragic for everyone. We need empathy everywhere.”

You are being selfish. You wish to try to see why both Israel is justified in their slaughtering of Palestinians, and why Palestinians don’t deserve to be slaughtered. This is not a topic in which you can have your cake and eat it, too. Either you support the country who has proven that they will continue to murder Palestinians, destroy every aspect of their culture, and bomb every place that Palestinians cherished and loved, or you denounce that. Your refusal to acknowledge that the citizens of Palestine are the current targets in a genocide, to acknowledge that Israel will call anything or anyone they don’t like “Hamas” to slaughter them without criticism, and to acknowledge that all of this was the result of Israel wanting to destroy Palestine does not paint you as someone who is refusing to feed a black-and-white mentality. It paints you as someone who, because they aren’t being directly affected by this genocide, doesn’t think it’s their problem. That, by definition, is apathy.

This isn’t a perfect comparison by any means, but.

You are leaving Didi to die.

[amrv-5]

Where's Everett? (1966) Or: Alan Alda raises an invisible alien baby

Part of a series of writeups of unaired or otherwise inaccessible TV objects ft. Alan Alda, which I was able to access via the Paley Center for Media in NYC (November 2024). 

Where’s Everett? (1966) - Producer, Creator, Writer: Ed Simmons; Associate Producer: Jon Zimmer; Director: Gene Nelson. 

Cast: Arnold Barker - Alan Alda; Sylvia Barker - Patricia Smith; Dr. Paul Jellicoe - Nicolas Coster, Lizzie Barker - Doreen Miller; Murdock - Frank DeVol; Milkman - Robert Cleaves. 

Summary: When a basket containing an invisible baby appears on the doorstep of Arnold (Alan Alda) and Sylvia Barker (Patricia Smith), the couple clashes over what to do. Arnold, a professional science fiction author, thinks they ought to turn the baby over to be studied. Sylvia thinks they ought to raise it as their own. The couple call in family friend and pediatrician Dr. Paul Jellicoe (Nicolas Coster) for help, all while trying to balance keeping invisible baby Everett a secret from their daughter, Lizzie (Doreen Miller), nosy neighbors (Milkman - Robert Cleaves) and investigating reporters (Murdock - Frank DeVol). 

Plot recounting: The show begins in an unassuming suburban American neighborhood, white-picket-fence’d, green lawn’d, and quiet. A tracking shot follows an empty, floating wicker basket down the street, through a white picket fence, and up to the door of a house. The basket floats down to sit on the doorstep. The doorbell is rung by an unseen entity, whose footsteps are audible as it hurries away. The camera follows the invisible entity back down the street, panning to reveal a large spaceship parked on one of the suburban lawns. The spaceship opens, a staircase descends, footsteps are heard ascending it, and the staircase retracts. The spaceship flies away. Meanwhile, the doorbell is answered by Arnold Barker (Alan Alda), still in his dressing gown. He regards the empty basket with confusion as a baby—not visible—begins to cry. The intro plays: A cheerful, upbeat tune over yellow title cards listing cast and credits. 

Arnold and his wife Sylvia (Patricia Smith) investigate, attempting to locate the crying baby. They decide the sound must be coming from inside the apparently empty basket. Though Arnold is doubtful, he puts a hand inside the basket, and quickly withdraws it: He was bitten by something invisible, which left visible teeth-marks (“Arnold, there’s a baby in that basket!” “But a baby what?”). The couple try to decide what to do with the invisible baby. Arnold suggests they report it (“Why don’t we call the police and have them give the baby back to Claude Rains?”), but they eventually settle on calling their friend, pediatrician Dr. Paul Jellicoe (Nicolas Coster) for advice. 

Arnold explains the situation to Paul, who refuses to believe him, due to the fact that Arnold is a professional science fiction novelist. Eventually Paul agrees to come over for Arnold’s sake, convinced that Arnold is sick, drunk, or otherwise hallucinating. Meanwhile Sylvia feeds the baby, whom she has named Everett, oatmeal, which disappears off the spoon. Arnold complains about the ridiculousness of the situation, and Everett responds by flinging oatmeal into his face.

When Paul arrives, Arnold shows him to Everett’s wicker basket—but they realize that Everett has crawled away, prompting a carefully thorough and shoeless (“You might step on him!”) search of the floor and furniture, until Paul notices a floating piece of candy and realizes Everett the invisible baby is real after all. Paul gives the baby an exam and notes that the child is healthy and normal, except for an unusually high body temperature and, of course, the invisibility (“Just think, Arnold, you’re going to save a fortune on clothes.”). He recommends the Barkers not mention the baby to their young daughter Lizzie, worrying it might have an adverse emotional impact. 

Lizzie descends the stairs and states that she dreamed she heard a baby crying. The Barkers and Paul play a game of hot potato with invisible baby Everett, trying to keep him away from Lizzie without arousing her suspicion or looking too obviously as though they are holding something invisible and baby-sized. The tradeoff only works until Everett is placed back into his basket and begins to cry. To the surprise of the Barkers and Paul, Lizzie takes the revelation with equanimity: “Invisible baby,” she says, pleased, before rocking Everett in her arms and asking if the family can keep him. 

Sylvia hears the milkman outside, and asks Arnold to buy some extra milk for the baby. Arnold, still believing they ought to turn the baby over to somebody in authority, reluctantly agrees, and hears from the milkman that a rumor is going around the street: A flying saucer was spotted on a neighboring lawn early in the morning.

Arnold is surprised and then delighted by the news, and suggests that it could be a boon for his career. He proposes handing the baby over to science in a public fashion, imagining the headline attention it might receive, and the increase of attention towards his books. Sylvia, however, wants to keep Everett, distressed by the idea of the baby being “poked at” and studied; she states that whoever dropped the baby off must have wanted them to care for him. 

The doorbell rings (Arnold: “If nobody’s there, maybe it’s the parent.”), and reporter Murdock (Frank DeVol) asks if the Barkers have any information about the flying saucer rumor. Arnold attempts to tell the reporter about Everett, but Sylvia and Lizzie undermine him by implying he is relaying a story he’s working on, mentioning his career as a science-fiction writer, and hiding the baby, so when Arnold directs the reporter to pick Everett up, he finds nothing in the basket. Arnold immediately panics, believing Everett has crawled away again (“Where’s Everett?!”), and begins to search the floor on hands and knees. The reporter leaves, convinced Arnold is insane. 

Sylvia and Lizzie assure Arnold that the baby isn’t lost again—they only relocated Everett to an armchair. Arnold picks Everett up for safekeeping and tries to convince his family one last time that they can’t possibly raise an invisible baby. He slowly begins to doubt himself as he speaks, noting that they have always wanted a son, before Everett manages his first word: “Dada.” Arnold leaps over a couch and begins to hop around, delighted, holding Everett to his chest (“He knows me!”), accepting his role as Everett’s new father. 

(Semi-Alda-specific) review: So awesome. Went into this one knowing the premise “Suburban couple find and raise invisible alien baby” and was prepared for it to be pretty hard to take, but was pleasantly surprised by its consistent humor and how well it committed to a pretty ridiculous conceit. Ed Simmons wrote for Martin and Lewis, which feels just about right, given the zaniness of the script and the prevalence of tossed-off one-liners. Unclear on how this would have worked for longer than one episode, but I’m sad we never got to see it attempted. Alda and Smith are particularly excellent at what seems, while watching, like a long-form improv warmup game: They commit and commit well to ‘holding’ baby Everett, transferring him between each other, rocking, soothing, lifting, and otherwise gently handling baby-shaped empty air, which if you stop buying the existence of the baby becomes insanely funny insanely fast, but in the watching process is pretty sweet. Really excellent for Alda specifically because he does befuddled but well-meaning and generally reasonable suburban dad so well as a role type; plus he’s wearing a wonderfully 60s velour tracksuit top, which is so visually fun it’s almost a character in itself. Verdict: Don’t miss this one if you visit the archive. Such a treat.

[unloveful]

hi, everyone! i go by min ( twenty2, he + she ) and i’m bringing park saeroi to everyone’s doorstep. ♡ ( if you’ve seen the anime nana, you might notice some similarities between osaki nana + ren & saeroi. they’re my primary sources of inspiration, with my additional touch of angst and twist. ) i hope you enjoy saeroi’s character as much as i enjoyed planning him out. i’m excited to write with everyone, so please leave a like on this post if you’re interested in plotting, and i’ll come to you asap!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀about. memories. connections.

starting points.

park saeroi, born on december 25. currently 24. a dance instructor at divine dance studio, and resides in unit #08 on floor 05. remembers a little about the former life.

versatile + talented / stubborn + paranoid.

he’s a little difficult to get along with at first due to the negative traits overlapping the positive, but he is loyal to who he holds close.

the only current memory unlocked is the passion for music, dance and the arts.

the rest of his memories pertain mostly to the sacrifices he made to chase his dreams, and the consequences that came from those choices. he’s unsure how he feels about having to remember them — maybe he doesn’t want to.

he tends to dabble in painting during his free time, but the things he paints are portraits without a face — nowhere to be found but simply, scribbled out. wilted roses with sharp, sharp thorns. or the perception of loneliness.

he has a knack for fashion sense, a lover of mixing and matching. but if there’s one thing that doesn’t get taken off, it is the ring on his finger that is branded by vivienne westwood. and he loves online shopping. so don’t be surprised at the one too many packages that wait in front of his door almost every other week.

plots + connections.

admittedly, i don’t have the brain juice for extensive plot ideas as i’m more chemistry based than anything and am open to almost whatever, but i would love to explore:

friends, neighbors, rivals, enemies.

maybe someone who’s sick of the constant deliveries that get sent to their door instead of saeroi’s?

someone who’s been with him since he got to ansong, but has always struggled with communication so their relationship constantly goes through a bit of a rollercoaster!

party buddies ( he’s a bit of an alcoholic ), stray cats feeding buddies.

while he isn’t fond of the idea of commitment, with no idea why, i’d love for saeroi to take interest in someone just to continue pulling away because of the awkward sensation that this person isn’t right for him. build trust! crack him open!

[brightlotusmoon]

On FB a couple of years ago, a friend talked about that concept of meeting the conservatives at a halfway point with their own language and how they interpret words - and how it is pointless to do so if the conservatives refuse to use leftist language without making us sound like gum on their shoes.

Like, this guy on FB, S. The fifty year old Star Wars fan who complains about lesbian space witches and people of color making him feel sick to his stomach, while being shocked when he was told he was being offensive. As soon as I called him out for the racism etc, he called me "typical whiny leftist freak" and insisted that he was tolerant of everyone. When I explained how "Star Wars was always woke" and quoted his words back at him "I don't understand how you can't see that" he just kept saying he never meant to offend. When I called him cute and said he was unwilling to examine his prejudices, he said that I didn't have to use such big words, that he just saw this on his FB feed and commented his opinion, it was a free country. I said "I don't want to teach you things you should already know but here are some articles" and S said he might look at them later.

One of our neighbors is kind of similar. She's in her early 50s and was smothered and hidden by a family ashamed of her. Talk shows, soap opera, and dubbed anime were all she watched. She didn't remember anything she'd learned in school. And it's not that I don't want to have topical conversations, but I'm not responsible for her education.

[iguessitsjustme]

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna Ep 1 & 2 Thoughts

This show won my liveblog poll by a large margin. I am very excited to watch this.Based on everything I’ve heard, I’m gonna love it. Let’s dive in!

Amateur? Girl…can you feed me? That looks absolutely delicious.

I wish I could say that I would help you eat that but I also would not be able to. Alas. But don’t worry. You will meet your soulmate soon and she will eat all of your food and I will be jealous.

Noisy neighbors go AWAY

I do not like how often people comment on the food/eating habits. “Is that all you’re eating?” even if said to a side character like…bro mind your business. I know the premise of the show but that…hits a nerve for me. I am constantly getting comments on how much/how little I’m eating. How about people mind their business. A simple “that lunch looks nice” is enough.

Noisy neighbors go away part 2

Girl I feel you. I feel you. You deserve better.

DID THAT MAN JUST ASSUME SHE NEEDS A SMALLER PORTION OF RICE THAN THE MAN WHO ORDERED THE SAME BECAUSE SHE’S A WOMAN???? Jail. Death. Immediate punishment.

Oh good his wife(?) scolded him for it. And she was such a sweetie about the whole thing. What an absolute gem of a person she is. I love her. I am ready to kill for her.

This is so adorably awkward. I love them. I love them both.

Oh short episodes. Okay one more today.

The show did not lie. She really does love to cook and she really does love to eat.

Is our cook eating anything though? A smaller portion for herself perhaps?

Noisy neighbors go away part 3

These two are already so good at communication. So, so good. I love them. Have I said that already? I’ll say it again. I love them.

Oh nooo she’s sick noooooo.

Out of pads and painkillers? Oh girl. Oh girl oh no. That’s rough. Let me swing by with some supplies you need. Including chocolate. And tea.

Okay something I love so much is (I swear I’ll learn names at some point) she asked what brand to get for the bads and painkillers. Other dramas I’ve watched (het ones tbh) have had similar plots but they always go for the cheap joke of the man standing in the feminine hygiene aisle and not having a clue but not bothering to ask. Asking is so simple and it proves that she cares more about actually taking care of her friend (so far) than being lauded for taking care of her.

Those rice balls look good. I want one. *stares longingly at all of the food*

The fact that she is the one who loves cooking and wants to cook for others and wants to be the one in the kitchen, but she’s saying this? As someone who doesn’t eat a lot? I sob. This is so good. So wholesome. So cute. I’ll be fine I swear.

This show is so good. I’m gonna stop here for today but I’ll be watching more tomorrow.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

seasonal colds

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : you had a date but your body got other plans, your next door neighbor misses your sweet greetings

Word Count : not that long

Warnings : 18+ Neighbor!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, use of y/n, reader and Eddie are both (21), Eddie kinda sneaked into reader's home but not in a creep way, I don't know how to put this but reader and Eddie are friends but not that close?, establishing a relationship, reader is really unwell (it's literally me on this fic lol- I'm sorry)

What to Expect : strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, set in the 80's, mostly, this is all fluffy goodness

Note To Reader : projecting myself here, please, let me have my indulgence 😭

Author Note : This year's Christmas season is interesting because, I got sick so bad that I had a fever, so, yeah, no worries- now, because after that atrocious event- THIS FIC IS BORN 🤩

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY, HERE'S SOME FLUFFY FIC JUST FOR YOU 🎄💓

"That's odd, Where is she?"

"What'd you say?" Dustin spoke over the phone's receiver

"Uh, it's- Y/N- I didn't saw her earlier and now- the sun's getting low still haven't seen her yet"

Eddie replies as he looks over at his window as he rest his back on the wall while holding the telephone

"Why don't you knock at her door to see her if she's okay?" Dustin suggests

"Dude, we're not that close"

"I mean- there's nothing wrong with checking- like come on- it's normal to care" Dustin scoffs

Eddie can picture his young friend rolling his eyes

"Yeah, yeah, I get it" he sighs

"She looked fine yesterday, I even helped to carry some of her stuff that she bought"

"From what I know is that she has a date"

Oh

"Well....maybe that's the reason why she isn't showing up, she got exhausted"

"Really? Exhausted from a date?"

"I'm just helping you out here, man"

"I'm a little worried- that's all"

"Look, if you really want to know of how she's been doing then just get out of there and see it for yourself"

Eddie went silence for a bit as he listens to his friend

"I know you, Eddie- you're like the epitome of endless worrying"

Dustin's right, like Eddie himself couldn't believe that he would agree on the kid

You're the best neighbor that he had on the building

If you had food, you will gladly offer him some, you always acknowledge him with the fullest and loving smiles ever

You even asked him everytime on how he's day went, Eddie can see the tiredness in your eyes but yet you still managed to be kind and thoughtful

Eddie on the other hand, after finding out that you had a date

He can't help but wonder

How it went?

Was it amazing?

Did you really go to that date?

"She left me a spare key to feed her cat, if she's going away for a couple of months"

"Use it"

"Isn't that like- trespassing?"

"But you knew each other"

"We don't knew each other that much, Henderson"

"Listen to me"

"I'm listening-"

"What if something else happened to her? Inside of her home?- What if she couldn't even bring help herself?"

"Woah, okay- you convince me enough"

Dustin chuckles "Okay, dude, take care"

"You too, bye"

He runs his hands through his face as he thinks his decision carefully

He groans as he picks up his jacket and grab your spare key

He went outside of his room and stop by at your door for a moment

He replays of what he just rehearsed inside of his head

"I'm only going to check on Y/N because it's so weird not seeing her often- I'm just making sure- that is all"

He nods to himself as he unlocks your door

"Hello? Y/N?"

He opens the door and when you didn't answer, he says

"Are you here? Are you home? I'm gonna bring myself inside"

He asks again "Where are you? Y/N? I just wanted to check you- if you're okay"

He closes the door as he puts your spare key on his pocket

He searches the whole place, your dishes are still in the sink, there a bit of trash in the dining table

He is now intrigued at the atmosphere of your home

He walks forward as he looks for you

He saw your bedroom door slightly open

He hesitates for a second, since it's your personal room

He shakes his head as he saw you there laying on your bed, he sighs of relief but you look different

You always looked effortless but something is off about you

He doesn't know if you're awake or just dozing off

He calls out your name again

He clears his throat "Y/N?"

You stirred and by the time you tried to move your body, your face grimaced

He noticed that "You okay?"

You finally started to open your eyes slowly

Your eyes are droopy and your forehead scrunches up

He doesn't even know what it means, is it because of annoyance or in pain?

You're still processing of what's going on

You just groaned and started shivering as you pulled the sheets on you quickly

"I feel cold" your voice is hoarsed

He gasped, his eyes goes wide, he finally realizes that you're sick

So, you didn't go on to that date

A part of him is relieved that you didn't come which is so wrong of him to feel that way because it's literally none of his business like yeah, you could do whatever you want but he hopes that he'll be the one or the first to take you out someday

He runs towards to you, he places his hand on your forehead

"You're burning up!"

You grunted when you complain about your joints hurting and you feel your whole body is on fire like it won't stop being in pain

Now, your ears are ringing and pounding in discomfort

You still haven't looked or even acknowledge the person that is in your room

Your fever is so high that you can't even get out of the bed easily

Your eyes are brimming with tears, you sniffle

Eddie knows what to do

He knows how to deal with this

"I'm gonna help you, Y/N, don't worry" he places his hand on top of yours as he let it linger for a while

He went at the nearest pharmacy and picked-up goodies in the convenience store

He's back at your place as he prepares a basin filled with water and a clean towel as he places the damp cloth on your forehead

He's so concentrated to making sure your fever won't go far enough as it was before, so, he keeps running the other damp cloth to your arms and neck all the important parts to make your fever go down

He shook his head in displeased look earlier when he check your temperature using the thermometer

He puts a cool fever on your forehead

In the middle of the night, sometimes, you sob in agony

"Make it stop, please- I don't want to feel this anymore"

"It's alright, Y/N, you're okay, I got you"

Eddie couldn't sleep properly knowing of how awfully you must've been feel all this time

You're still feel cold even you have loads of blanket that he lays on you

He finds your comforter and he immediately puts it on you

He smiles to himself a little when you get comfortable with your sickening situation

He even panicked when you're not responding, the time you get passed out

You just couldn't take it anymore

You swore to yourself that you really did blackout for a minute

When you moved a little bit, he muttered "oh- thank god"

He's shaking in fear that he thought he lost you

"You gotta fight it, Y/N- you have to"

You still haven't eaten anything yet besides only drinking water, not that you didn't want to- it's just- you're too afraid to eat anything without being specific on what meal because-

You might vomit of how worse you feel right now

Thankfully, you told him to order creamy chicken macaroni soup and burger with fries

He calls for delivery as soon as possible

and nope- you still have no idea of who's taking care of you

He joins you while eating very late dinner

"How you're feeling?"

Your body is in hell- you don't have to energy to even talk

"There's no improvements but finally I can eat"

He gives you a small smile on that as he continues to finish his food

After that you complained of how your head hurts and your chest clenches too much

Out of all the fatigue that you felt for the past couple of years before?

This is literally the worst of them than the New Year's 2022 sickness that you got

Your body literally saying "FUCK YOU"

You can tell the incoming migraine is coming right at your skull to hammer it aggressively

He's been staying here for the whole night, it's his first night at your room

Eddie is sitting right beside you for the first time tonight, he slept peacefully

You unintentionally hold onto his forearm that made him woke up from his slumber, his eyes went to concern automatically as he watches you

"everything it hurts, somebody help me" you cried out as you kept your hold on him

"I know, Y/N- it will be all over soon" he wraps his arms around you

He runs his fingers through your hair as he lulled you to sleep

He woke up and he took a mental note to change your clothes

He goes into your dresser, he picked an easy but comfortable pieces of clothing

"Y/N?"

You hum in response

"You need to change your clothes"

Your face turn crumpled and you let out a whine when you sit up

He gave you the clothes that he picked out for you, he said that he'll be back

Once, you get dressed and check yourself in the bathroom

You look fucking bad, you roll your eyes to yourself

He's back with a glass of water and a medicine on hand

"You have to drink this now, you'll be good since you've already eaten" he murmurs as he hands you the water

You nod in response as you drink the capsules

You went back to bed as you settle your comfortable

You're still struggle to make a decent sleep since you really just can't do it because of how everything feels sucks right now

The medicine and the cool wind from outside helped you to feel drowsy

You can feel your eyes closing on its own as you finally getting a good night's sleep

You woke up drenched in your own sweat and you feel a lot more better than before

But, still there's more ache left but it's more good than not having any progress of healing

The sound of the soft snores from another person caught your attention

You looked around and there you saw him sleeping in your couch with a blanket that is too short for him

Your mind finally registered the things that he has done for you

The basin, the damp towels, the wrappers from the food delivery, the glass and the medicine, everything

Despite, there's still pain left that you're feeling right now, you smile at Eddie

You watch him as you can feel yourself feeling sleepy again

"It's a Wonderful Life!" playing in your television as Eddie watches with a popcorn bowl on his hand

Eddie can hear the rustles from your comforter as saw your eyes fluttering open

"Oh, hey, Y/N! Did you sleep well?"

"Hi, Eddie, yeah- I did" you managed to say as your cheeks blushed

You're so embarrassed that he took care of you for a while, he really didn't have to do that

His eyes go big when he heard you say his name "You- you're okay! You just said my name!" He grins as he goes over to you assisting the pillow as you sit up

"Not really, 100% tho- I still feel like shit"

He tilts his head at you as he puts his hand on your forehead

"Yeah, you still a bit warm but I think you'll be fine sooner!" He claps both of his hands as he returns watching the film

You gasped out of nowhere as you realized something, you removed the comforter off of you as you sit on the edge of your bed

"Woah- woah you have to move easy, what's the sudden rush?" Eddie holds both of your shoulders to steady you as you stumble while standing up too fast

You click your tongue "I was supposed to attend this date, remember?"

He puts his hands inside of the pockets of his jacket "Ah, right- that one"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you groan in frustration

"Fuck, that was yesterday"

"Yuuuuuup!" Eddie says with a "pop!" at the end

You stand awkwardly in front of him as you sigh, he watches you intently

"What am I going to do? I blew it up because of me getting sick" you shake your head to yourself as you sat back down on your bed

"Well...." He sat beside you as he thinks for a few minutes

His hands itches to touch you and hold you

Before he can say anything, you spoke first

"How long I've been sick?"

"One day"

You huffed as you bring your attention back on the TV and then you turn your head back at him as he already been staring at you

"Oh- gosh- I'm sorry that's so rude of me! I just wanna say Thank you, Eddie!" You rambled

A smile grows on his lips "It's nothing really, I mean- I insist and I want to help you" he ducks his head down, he suddenly became shy on your gaze

"I just missed seeing you and not knowing what is happening to you, scared me"

"Really?" Your eyes twinkle and he flustered

"Y-Yeah" He clears his throat, trying to cover up his nervousness

"Don't beat yourself up for not going on to that date, Y/N" he says softly

Your eyes softens as you let him hold your hand

Oh- you like Eddie- that's why the universe didn't let you go on to that date

"I wanna spend my Christmas with you, Eddie"

"You do?" He says in disbelief tone, his eyes shines as he watches you get up

"I'm gonna make hot chocolate with whipped cream- it's my favorite!" You giggled with excitement radiating on your aura

You tug his hand as you went into your kitchen for two mugs

Your heart flutters of how much he cares for you while you're working on the luscious drink, it's really sweet because he knows that you're still not okay, you're still recovering

You taught him how to use the can whipped cream and you mischievously make a dot onto his nose and you laugh

You accidentally smeared the cream on the sides of your lips and Eddie made it even more worse that he exclaimed that he didn't know there's still chocolate on his fingers

Both of your laughter's died down when something in the air has changed

It's started snowing outside, you swear your heart expands three times bigger of how long he stares at you

You feel safe and sound under his presence

Why'd you haven't taken a good look on this before? Sure, he looks attractive but you never thought you could feel something for him

Eddie is ready to take the leap or else he'll miss his chance

You both looked funny having sticky and sweet contents on both of your faces

He runs his thumb on your lips as his eyes darts back at you and down to your lips

You thought stopped breathing but it's only Eddie's lips onto yours

You kissed him back, he deepens it, he pulls you close to him by holding your waist as you cup both of his cheeks

You're shocked and screaming inside

Who would've thought that the one you loved is your next-door neighbor?

You never thought that this would happen

You both pulled back with giggles as he takes you back for another sweet kiss which you gladly accept

"How does it taste?"

You ask while you watch him as he turns on the radio and "The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole" starts playing, a fond smile is sitting on your lips

He literally went down to your mouth to kiss which you laugh because he misunderstood on what you mean but you can't help but to kiss him back

"No! Not that- I mean- the hot chocolate!" You lightly push him on the chest as he chuckles, he pulled you to his side closely

"It's magical" he always exaggerates his words

You're infuriated at him

"Eddie, come on- be serious"

"It's really spectacular, Y/N" he pecks your kiss once more removing your cute little frown on your face

"You know I'm really glad that I checked on you"

"Yeah?"

"I finally got my Christmas wish come true"

You both sipped the warm beverage as you continue to watch the classic Christmas film of all time with both loving hearts and smiles

🎄✨🫶🏻

[ququb444hm]

thanks a lot, cupid

part 03 / stuck w me ☆

masterlist

warning(s): possible typos

“I finished school!” yn chimed, entering the all too familiar shinrinyoku flower shop. sweet scents of various flowers swallowed her whole as she whispered a few greetings to the blooming friends– cecily is a strong believer that talking to plants encourages them to grow faster. 

“hey there peaches,” cecily smiled, walking over to the university student to give her a tight squeeze. “I’ve been so lonely the whole day without you!” she whined, “do you really have to go back to that torturous establishment tomorrow!?”

“for a whole year!” yn groaned, “if I could, I would just stay here with you all day, but then you’ll get sick of me.”

“who’s to say I’m not already sick of you,” cecily joked, “so tell me, how was your first day as a junior? did you get into a fight? argue with a teacher? omg…did kozume finally confess his undeniable feelings for you that he’s been harboring since forever!? are the two of you married with three kids yet!?”

yn slumped onto a nearby chair, “oh you’re terrible for feeding me with delusions. but no nothing like that…well! actually,” a lovesick smile etched its way on yn’s face, her feelings for the blonde painting her cheeks with a rich red hue, “kozu and I have the same chemistry class! and we sit right next to each other!” yn groaned, legs kicking the air to exert all the built-up energy inside her body, “I just can’t wrap my head around him. he plays volleyball, guitar, and has a cat! but he’s not a hot loser with no friends! he’s a hot loser with friends! this is so bad, cece!”

“even worse,” a new voice chirps, the bell of the glass door chiming to signal a new person’s presence, “he’s friends with your ex and your brother!”

“oh shut up tetsu!” yn wailed, rolling her eyes at her brother, “go fall in a ditch!”

“and miss all your little girl talk about kozume? as if.”

“you secretly like being part of our ‘girl talk’, don’t you?” cecily smirked.

“what can I say, I’m a feminist.”

yn and cecily choked up a laugh, entering a fit of laughter that could be heard from the outside of the flower shop.

“what’s got the two of you squawking like dying birds?”

“oh shut up atsumu,” tetsurou slapped the back of the blonde’s head, earning an annoyed groan from the victim.

the two alongside koutarou and shoyou entered the flower shop, beads of sweat rolling down their foreheads and slightly raspy voices indicating they just raced their way from the university campus to the nearby store. “hi nn! hi cece!” shoyou greeted, his usual bright smile slightly blinding the two.

“hi shoyou, you’re even cuter since the last time I saw you!” cecily gushed, squeezing the sophomore’s cheeks. “I haven’t seen you all summer!” shoyou giggled at the woman’s antics, secretly liking when people compliment how cute he was.

“what about me! aren’t I cute today?” tetsurou whined, pushing the shorter boy aside.

“aw, you’re such a bit baby tetsu!” cecily laughed, giving her boyfriend his much-needed attention.

“oh barf!” yn gagged, averting her eyes from the couple’s pda. “save me, kou! they’re so sweet it’s giving me a cavity, it’ll ruin my pretty smile!” 

the boisterous upperclassman grinned, an idea popping into his mind. “let’s meet your friends at flour men! I saw them on my run here!” flour men, a bakery down the street, was a usual hangout spot for the group of friends, besides the flower shop which was starting to get busy due to students flooding in.

saying casual goodbyes to tetsurou and cecily, the remaining three made their way over to the neighboring bakery. “I spot mori!” shoyou giggled, pointing at the libero.

entering the bakery, the trio made their way to mori, rintarou, and koushi. “hello, pretties!” yn beamed, sliding into the booth that the friends were already seated in. 

“you had a good first day?” koushi questioned, sliding the donuts he just paid for over to the new company, “we were looking for you once class ended but it everything was getting crowded so we thought to just meet you here as usual.”

yn grabbed a donut out of the bag, melting once the familiar tastes met her tongue, “so good~” she moaned, taking another bite before answering her friend, “super, super! tiring, but it was okay! I like my morning classes and I have two night classes at seven and eight which is nice.”

the group conversed about their first day back and recent summer events, laughing at how atsumu’s swimshorts got torn up by koutarou’s great dane, drax the destroyer, or how yn traveled with mori and rin to france for an art internship or how the current seniors (tetsurou, koutarou, atsumu, koushi, tooru + cecily) all had a bonfire the weekend before school started again and koutarou had to fart so bad that he literally blew the fire out.

all in all, memorable occasions before a poorly, yet hopefully comedy filled kozume kenma x fem!reader <3

key: nn - nickname

part 02 surrounded by homosexuals <- | masterlist | -> part 04 fnaf

note(s): none of the pictures used are mine!!

[masterwords]

it's here in the ashes

Summary: Sam Cooper was many things. He was an exemplary leader, an intuitive field agent, a brilliant mind. He was a calm presence amid a raging storm, someone who always knew what to say and when to say it...but more importantly, when to keep quiet. He was many things, but if you asked Hotch he’d probably just say that Sam Cooper was a great friend. This is just a snapshot of that friendship. (Coda to 5x01, my usual haunting ground)

Pairing: None (but you could say Hotch/Morgan...it's heavily implied but not explicitly said, basically just like canon)

Words: 5.6k

Warnings: religious (christian) overtones, church, stab wounds, medication, pain (post foyet stabbing y'know y'know)

Notes: I've wanted to write more about Hotch & Sam's friendship. Sam, if you don't remember, is from 5x18 - The Fight and the Unit Chief of the Red Cell team in the spinoff Suspect Behavior. I'll probably start a whole series dedicated to all these one-off characters that are so beloved to me so they're all in one place. Hotch needs friends, yo. And anyway, he's so cute with Cooper that I really need to explore more of that.

No one came to see him after he was released from the hospital.

The team were busy, they sent texts and more than once take-out meals so he didn’t have to cook, but no one came by. He knew it probably had a lot more to do with him than them. He could picture Garcia worrying herself sick over whether to pop by to check on him or bring him a plate of cookies, and he could picture Dave telling her to do what she thought was best. Well, that resulted in a lot of well meaning texts and nothing more.

He was fine with that, too. He didn’t particularly want company. Didn’t much feel like conversation, like being under the watchful eye, like being pitied.

Jessica was coming by, out of some strict (and utterly insane if you asked Hotch) sense of duty more than anything. She was angry at him for sure, angry and indignant but she helped him change his bandages and made sure he took his medications. “For Jack,” she muttered when he asked her one particularly bad night why she insisted on showing up every single day when he knew she didn’t want to be there. When he knew she had better things to do. Her neighbor was feeding her cat so she could clean up wounds on a man she could barely stand to look at. “Because he’s going to need a dad to come home to. Now swallow the damn pill and go to sleep.”

Her anger lasted about a week. She never had managed to focus on one thing for very long – her fire burned hot and fast. She’d picked him up from the hospital and brought him home, and for that whole week she was frustrated and short with him, asking him why he didn’t just call his mother or Sean to come and help because he was more or less incapable of just about every activity of daily living. He stubbornly maintained he could do it on his own, and for what it was worth, he did. Not well, and he definitely shouldn’t have been doing any of it, but he didn’t see as he had much choice in the matter. She knew it too, and that fact alone kept her coming back to check, afraid one day she’d show up and find him face down on the floor bleeding out. So, it was a week of burning anger and then slowly it melted into something not so hot. Not so sharp. She began sitting with him for an hour, turning on the TV or cleaning his bathroom, asking how he was feeling with more than just a clinical interest. Remembering that she did love him too, in spite of his rampant stupidity. In spite of his...well everything about him.

But he didn’t seem to make any real progress toward rejoining the living until Sam Cooper showed up on his doorstep.

“Hi,” he said, extending his hand to Jessica with the bright smile of someone who sleeps and eats and works out at regular, healthy intervals. Something foreign at the moment to both she and Hotch who had more or less become couch potatoes. She was eating enough for two (there were a lot of feelings to be stuffed into a bowl of cereal that quickly became two bowls at 10pm whens he couldn’t sleep), he wasn’t eating at all (meds and pain and stubborn refusal to do anything that resembled living). It wasn’t a great situation. “I’m Sam, a friend from work.”

“Sam Cooper,” she said with a tired smile. “I’ve heard stories. I’m Jessica.”

“Right. Ex-wife’s sister?”

“That’s the one. Do you need something from him? He’s asleep right now.”

Sam smiled again and shrugged. He carried himself with such a laid back swagger that she couldn’t help the way her own shoulders loosened in his presence. “Nah. I just wanted to check up on him. Thought I’d give it a week or so for him to be home before I came knocking. He can be a little skittish.”

“Oh, yeah, well...why don’t you come in? I’m sure he’d love to see you. Or anyone really that isn’t me barking at him.”

“Has he had many visitors?”

“Well counting you and me...two.”

Sam nodded and clasped his hands behind his back, fingers gently pulling at the prayer beads he kept around his wrist as he took in the apartment. He’d been here more than once, helped Hotch move a few boxes here and there. More to check up on him, support him through his time of need than actual help – he’d had movers do most of the heavy lifting. Ultimately the place didn’t look much different but it felt different. It felt wrong. He could see Foyet there by the washer, feel his presence as he got to know the intimate details of Hotch’s place while he was away...how long was he here? Did he leave anything behind?

The apartment smelled stale but clean, closed windows and bleach. There were banker boxes piled up where he supposed a china hutch or some nice piece of furniture might look better, and there were case files covering a table that was more for show than for eating. He thought about Jack, wondered if he might find some renegade legos stashed beneath the couch or a crayon on a bookshelf. He wondered if Foyet went into Jack’s room, if he dug through Hotch’s entire life while he was away.

“That’s about what I expected,” he said finally, as if coming out of a long trance.

“Really? I honestly thought that his team would be here all the time. The way he is about them, you know? That they’d be hanging around and getting him to work and…”

“I talked to Agent Morgan this morning before I made the decision to come by. He said he’s been texting with Hotch every day but he’s afraid of opening up too many lines of communication because Hotch needs to rest and heal, and his instinct is always to pour himself into work as quickly as possible.”

“So they’re protecting him from himself by not coming? Is that what they think they’re doing?” She couldn’t mask her disgust. He gave up his marriage for them and they couldn’t even bother stopping by to check on him.

“I said that’s what Morgan said. I don’t know about the rest of them, don’t really know ‘em. Morgan comes and works out in my gym every day. How is he?”

“Well. He’s lonely and grouchy. In a lot of pain and pretty angry about it.”

“How long have you been here?”

“All morning. I practically live here now.”

Sam continued his pass through inspection of Hotch’s place and frowned at the spot on the carpet that was covered by an out of place looking rug. Jessica wouldn’t look at it. “That’s where...I guess they couldn’t get the stain out…I brought a rug from my place. I know it’s stupid, putting that there. It’s a bath mat, it looks silly it’s just…they said it would be a couple of weeks before they could get someone out to replace that spot with new carpet.”

“You should go, take some time to yourself. Have some lunch, a nap, something. I’ll handle him when he wakes up.”

She scrunched her nose and he had the distinct impression that she’d known Hotch a long time, a very long time, and through her aloof exterior she cared very much and maybe didn’t want to leave. She was protective of him, that was for sure.

“If you want,” he followed it up with a cautious smile. “I only want to help.”

That made her features soften into a halfway smile. “I could use a shower.”

Sam busied himself by putting away all of Hotch’s case files, clearing off his table. It was a task Jessica had mentioned wanting to do but not knowing where to start. “I think he just leaves them there because they make him feel something. He doesn’t do anything with them. I covered a few up because the pictures were…” she shook her head in disbelief. “I covered them up. That probably makes me a terrible person.”

“You said they’re going to be a couple of weeks on the carpet replacement?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t let him come out here and see that every day. And I know it sounds stupid because they cleaned it really well but if I can see it...I feel like I can smell it.”

“Doesn’t sound stupid. I can smell it. I’m going to make some calls, we can get that taken care of.”

“They said that it got into the sub floor and all of the padding, the whole thing has to be replaced. He was there...it was…”

“I understand. I’ll take care of it.”

Sam’s presence was calming to her, and when she finally slung her purse over her shoulder and left she felt almost at peace for the first time in a week. (Had it only been a week since he’d been home from the hospital? It felt like a century, and maybe it was when you measured it in calculated breaths and medication timers and bandage changes.)

By the time Hotch was shuffling down the hallway with all the grace of a starved zombie, not the 28 Days Later kind but the long suffering Romero zombies, Sam had tidied up all of the files and moved himself on to perusing the bookshelves until he found something that was just dull enough to stare at until his friend woke. He didn’t want to get engaged in anything, he wanted something easily cast aside. Something that would hold his attention with only the lightest grip. Hotch’s book collection had plenty to offer in that regard.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Sam said with an easy smile, setting the book open-faced on his thigh. Hotch stared at him, unblinking, sleepy-eyed, pale and worn like an old bed sheet hung out to dry. He’d seen Hotch in plenty of bad situations but he’d never seen him so listless, so drained. So empty.

“Where’s Jessica?” he croaked in a voice that hadn’t been used for much more than moaning or complaining in the last few days. Jessica said he didn’t string many words together, one or two was about the limit of his conversational skills – everything else was more or less a series of whines, whimpers or grunts.

“She needed a shower. I stopped by at the perfect time I guess.”

Hotch grunted his disapproval at being blindsided by a change in caretaker and resumed his shuffle toward the kitchen. Sam watched with some intrigue, wondering how capable he was of whatever he had set out to do. He knew damn well Hotch wasn’t going to ask him to help, and truthfully he thought it was probably better if Hotch did things for himself. He suspected that Jessica was doing more than necessary, either out of fear or guilt or love it didn’t matter.

It was a glass of water he was after, and he managed after a full minute of trying to figure out the best way to raise his arm (one side was easier than the other, it turned out) and then it looked like he was going to be sick after the first drink but he continued anyway. Sam watched with interest while Hotch seemed to forget he was there momentarily, hunching over at the sink, resting one hand against the ledge and dropping his head. Sam thought about stepping in, about asking if he could do anything to help, but he knew Hotch well enough to see the folly in that idea. He let Hotch come to him, instead. Slowly he made his way through the kitchen, eyes dragging with suspicion over his newly cleaned table. He didn’t like it. Sam didn’t care.

“Did you do this?” he asked, reaching out with one unsteady hand to grab hold of the back of a chair. It was as far as he could go, and he fell heavily into the seat with a barely contained groan.

“Looks like it smarts,” Sam said, ignoring Hotch’s question. He knew the answer anyway. When Hotch didn’t acknowledge his comment, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and looked at him earnestly. “I know you don’t wanna hear it, and I’d rather not have to say it but I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“I know.”

“So you pushin’ everyone away who wants to help?”

“They have better things to do. Agent Reid is also out, they’re short staffed.”

“We’re pickin’ up the slack. I’m working with Rossi and Morgan to divert your case load. We got it.”

Hotch nodded appreciatively. “Thank you. I’m hoping to return within the month.”

At that, Sam laughed. Hotch didn’t find it amusing. “What?”

“A month?! Hotch. Come on. I saw the pictures and the hospital chart – now, now, don’t get your feathers all ruffled, Rossi asked me to take the lead on your case. He didn’t want anyone from the team doing it, and he was adamant that an outsider shouldn’t do it. I guess you could call this a professional visit…”

“Yeah?”

“Well. In a matter of speaking.”

At that Hotch smiled. Sort of. It was just a little twitch at the corner of his mouth but it was something, probably more than he’d done in a while. It looked unnatural and stiff. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’ve got something I need you to do with me. You up for a walk?”

“Do I look up for a walk?”

“You look like a ghost. You can’t haunt this place forever. You need some good old fashioned vitamin D...come on. Three blocks.”

Hotch knew where they were going, and he wanted to protest. Not for any real reason in particular, he’d been thinking of going himself. He loved it for the same reason Cooper did – it was peaceful there. Quiet. He could sit and hear himself think without the echoes and ghosts in his apartment, or he could sit and do nothing but stare up into the light refracted through brilliantly colored stained glass windows and marvel at the way that made him feel.

Small, it made him feel small. That’s what he’d tell Sam, if asked. And no, that wasn’t bad. In fact, as the world swirled around him, as his team texted him and people whose names he barely knew delivered flowers and baskets of well-wishes and foods he wouldn’t or couldn’t eat (but his neighbors would, and Jessica would) all he wanted was to feel small and insignificant again. Foyet had robbed him of many things, and right now if he could just feel small he might be able to see his way into the next day and the day after.

“You know where I’m taking you,” Cooper said, affecting a slow pace. Much slower than his usual clip, and still it wasn’t really slow enough for Hotch’s sluggish body. His bones were heavy, poured with concrete. He wasn’t really walking so much as dragging himself down the sidewalk. It was a strange lumbering walk, no real grace to it, stiff hipped and hunched at the shoulders. “You know exactly where we’re going.”

“I do,” Hotch replied, pushing his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket to hide their tremble. They shook a lot lately, maybe medication side effects, maybe nerve damage, maybe just that he was scared and hungry and sick all the time. The reason mattered very little to him anymore. It just was.

“Have you been already?”

“No.”

Cooper hummed and slowed his pace one click more, a welcome reprieve. Hotch slowed to match and took a deep breath.

Three blocks, only three blocks, but Cooper stopped and took a seat on a bench beside the bus stop a little over a block into the walk and Hotch followed. They didn’t speak while they sat, just stared across the street and watched the little coffee shop ebb and flow with the day’s patrons. Children being dragged in by their parents while they prattled about something that was very important to them and of little import to the parents on a mission for caffeine. A couple holding hands. A group of school aged girls. Some of Hotch’s neighbors, elderly couples that had formed a sort of walking group in the last few months. He’d joined them once or twice after being badgered relentlessly at the mailboxes for being a shut in. The problem, he told them, was that he spent so little time in his home that he desired the luxury of being a shut in. Still, he did need coffee so he reluctantly agreed.

After a few minutes, Cooper looked at Hotch expectantly and stood.

They made it to the church without saying another word, and Hotch stopped at the base of the steps and turned his whole face toward the sky. He stared at the steeple as it rose into the clouds, touched the heavens. He sucked in one quick breath and grabbed the railing before hoisting himself up one step at a time like he was climbing Mount Everest.

The last time he’d come, it was Easter. He had Jack’s little hand in his, it was his holiday weekend and they didn’t have a case. It wasn’t his first choice of holidays to have his son, but Haley wanted Thanksgiving and Christmas and since those are family holidays and Hotch didn’t care for spending much time in the company of his own, he’d taken Halloween and Easter. Well, that had been almost half a year before and he’d walked by these steps plenty of times and thought about coming in but he never did. There was plenty of guilt associated with that, just add it to the pile of guilt he lived with over everything else in his life.

It was creeping up on October now, and he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t get to have Halloween with his son. He might never get another holiday again – did he appreciate Easter for what it was? Maybe the last? He didn’t think so.

“Need some help?” Cooper asked when Hotch was halfway up. He shook his head and set his features with determination.

“I’ve got it.”

“Good.”

Hotch would have been content to sit in the back pew and stare silently forward, he had the best view of everything from there but Sam moved toward the front and he followed. This was Cooper’s adventure, after all. He’d done nothing but wake up and go to sleep, exist in a medicated half-life for a week now and if this was the way to regain his life...well he was willing to try it.

“It’s peaceful,” Sam said sitting down. Hotch took the seat beside him, close but not too close. Sam scooted closer to him, until their shoulders touched and he leaned himself back casually. Like this was his sofa at home and they were all set to watch the football game. “You made it.”

“Did you doubt me?”

Sam smiled. “I did, actually. You look like a man who hasn’t walked more than twenty steps in a week.”

“I am. I guess it’s like riding a bike.” He found that the smile he offered Sam wasn’t forced this time, and that lightened the tight feeling in his chest some. It was amazing the power some people held. That just Sam’s presence and faith in him, in his ability to still be the same man he was a week ago, would almost make him believe it too. Sam had always had that effect on him.

“Can I ask you a question?”

His answer was always yes, but he hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Sure.”

“Did they ask you if you wanted to head up a Red Cell? Before they gave it to me? You were the natural choice.”

That wasn’t the question Hotch had imagined he would ask, but now it made sense. He was thinking about Foyet, about how all of this transpired and wondering if Hotch had any regrets about being so visible. About heading up the A team when he could have gone under the radar.

“They did.”

“And you said no?”

“I did.”

Sam leaned forward, fingering the prayer beads now dangling from his hands. Hotch watched in a sort of trance, the way his thumbs moved over the beads was rhythmic and enthralling. Hypnotic.

“Why? You like the red tape or what?”

He was in a church, and as such, he felt compelled not to let a lie dance on his tongue. Not to entertain those types of thoughts. Sam deserved his honesty. “I need rules. I need the red tape, even if I mean to fight against it sometimes. I need checks and balances. Sometimes I’m afraid of what might happen if I don’t have them.”

Sam could respect that answer, but then, he found it wasn’t hard to respect most of the things Hotch said or did. He needed rules because he feared his own darkness, and knowing what he did about Hotch’s past it made sense to him. Still, knowing Hotch as well as he did, he expected that he’d do just fine without the red tape...he didn’t trust himself, but he should.

“Do you regret it?”

“You mean do I regret it now that I’ve been victimized by the very thing I just said I needed?” That had been on Hotch’s mind. The rules. Arrest Foyet for what he did, make it right. Do what Shaugnessey didn’t, you hunt him and you catch him. But then...how long did that last? And was playing by those rules just playing into Foyet’s hand? This cycle was endless and it was killing him slowly, seeping from him what little sleep his exhausted body would allow him. And now he waited to see if Foyet killed again, and worse, who it was if he did. He was watching, Hotch knew that much. So was the FBI, he knew that too. There was a car parked on his block 24/7 with some poor low level Agent sent on an endless mission to stare at his apartment building as if Foyet would come back there. And were he and Cooper followed down here to the church? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe Cooper cleared this whole adventure before even showing up.

“Not exactly, but sure. That’s where your mind went, I’d love to follow that rabbit down the hole. Assume I mean it that way. Do you regret it?”

“I hadn’t really considered it. Truth be told, I haven’t thought about much except that night.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“Absolutely not.”

Sam laughed. He did so with his whole body. “Fair enough. Morgan said you weren’t talking to anyone about it. But you know, you will have to talk to me about some of it...at some point. I am the official Case Agent.”

“How much have you spoken with Morgan?”

“Everything I just said and that’s what you take from it? Are you jealous?”

Hotch frowned, not sure how to answer that. Especially in a church with a man holding prayer beads. He trusted Sam Cooper implicitly, but his stomach lurched painfully.

“I’m teasing,” Sam said, as if Hotch didn’t catch that part. “He comes by my office every day. He’s struggling, Hotch.”

“Comes by your office for what?”

Sam definitely detected a hint of something in Hotch’s voice that sounded like jealousy. Not the kind that holds hands with suspicion or anger, just the kind that makes bedroom eyes at hope and despair.

“He’s coming to work out. To blow off steam. I’ve been training him in Kali, if you must know. He needs an outlet.”

Hotch smiled at that. “Better him than me.”

“You’re next.”

“I’m not cleared for strenuous activity or lifting more than 5lbs for at least the next three weeks...sorry.”

“I’ll mark it on my calendar. You need to double down on your hand to hand training.”

That didn’t sit well with Hotch and Sam could tell he’d crossed a line, if only unintentionally. He hadn’t lost the battle with Foyet because he couldn’t fight hand to hand, Foyet had the element of surprise and a gunshot that deafened and disoriented him. He had it all planned out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you could have done anything to prevent what happened. The man was in your home waiting for you, there was nothing more you could have done than what you did. You stayed alive.”

A woman’s voice echoed from somewhere above them, and then a man’s voice followed. Nothing more than sound waves bouncing off of statues and stained glass, not real words, but Hotch’s attention was drawn to the origin of the sound and he felt the hot sting of tears welling up in his eyes. Sam placed one hand on Hotch’s shoulder and the prayer beads fell against his chest, making a small wooden rattling sound that he felt deep in his bones.

“You stayed alive, Aaron. Maybe that’s why I brought you here. I nearly lost a friend, and I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t.”

“Why?” Hotch rasped around the thick feeling of emotion choking him. Why did Foyet want to keep him alive? Why had Foyet chosen him? There were no answers he could find in any of those files. Nothing he could use to make sense of what happened – what Foyet did to him, the parts that were in the file and the parts that wouldn’t be. The parts he remembered and the parts he didn’t.

“That information is above my pay grade, I’m afraid.”

“Has Strauss said anything to you?”

“You know she doesn’t want anything to do with me, not since the Director said my team reports directly to him. She felt slighted and I don’t blame her but I sure am glad. She asked me to help your team out. That’s about where it ended.”

“I think she’s hoping I won’t return. That I won’t pass a physical.”

Sam hummed and stood, beckoning for Hotch to follow him back out into the sunlight. “You’ll pass. I’ll make sure of it. I just need you to do something for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Call Morgan.”

Hotch looked at the stairs and grunted, reaching out for the railing. It was hot, the sun had baked it in the time they were inside and it burned against his palm as his fingers curled around it.

“For what?”

“Check up on him. Ask him how things are going. Ask him to meet you for dinner at that restaurant you both like, the little pho place across town.”

“I’m not cleared to drive.” It was a pitiful excuse, weak and lacking all feeling. He would drive if he had to.

Sam took Hotch’s arm and helped him down the long bank of stairs, much harder to maneuver down when he was tired than it had been to get up. His legs felt like jelly and more than once he nearly tripped.

“Then invite him to your place for dinner. Surely you can order a pizza. Or are you just opposed to seeing him?”

“I’m not...opposed...I’m just…”

Sam stopped and turned Hotch toward him. Anyone looking from the street might get the wrong idea. It would be easily read as a moment from a Hallmark romance.

“You need him, and he needs you. If you think that his opinion of you has somehow changed because of what happened, I’d say you’re not giving him enough credit.”

Hotch didn’t have a response to that, but the look on Sam’s face and the way he continued to lead him down the stairs and back to the apartment told Hotch it wasn’t necessary. It was food for thought, not a set up for an argument. His beads were in his pocket now, the outline could be seen against the denim, and Hotch noticed that Sam checked his watch. It was the third or fourth time he’d done that since they sat in the pews. He’d noted it as odd, but his mind was too hazy to focus for any length of time on small details like that. Now he was suspicious.

“Are you late for something?” Hotch asked, staring ahead at his building as it loomed. Grew closer, larger, the thought of his couch and his bed growing in strength. His legs burned like he’d run a marathon. It was amazing how quickly physical status changed, how fast he could go from peak performance to broken.

“Right on schedule,” he said, slowing his pace a little and smiling. Hotch didn’t trust it. Something was happening. Something outside of his control, just like everything else lately.

Sam held the door of the building open to him, and Hotch entered with some apprehension. Something was waiting for him and he didn’t know what but he didn’t enjoy surprises. And Sam knew that. It didn’t seem to matter.

The door wasn’t locked. Hotch frowned. He knew he’d locked it on the way out.

“Trust me,” Sam said, nudging the door open. Hotch just stared at him, wondering what was going on and not liking anything his mind came up with. “I asked Jessica to come back to let a friend in. Don’t worry.”

Don’t worry. His apartment was broken into just a short time ago, a blink of an eye, and Sam says don’t worry. Hotch found he had a few issues with that statement, but Sam smiled at him and he had no choice but to try.

It was Derek, Hotch knew it right away. Before he saw him. The minute he stepped into the doorway he could smell Derek’s cologne.

Derek was in his apartment, on his hands and knees, smoothing out the last of a piece of carpet with a seam roller. The stained piece was lying nearby along with the discarded pad, the last real physical reminder of what happened that could be removed and replaced. The rest Hotch would carry with him forever as a part of him, there was no seam roller that could smooth the edges of Foyet’s masterpiece. Hotch stopped short and found it hard to breathe at the sight. Sam just nudged him inside so he could shut the door before helping him to the couch. It was clear that the day’s outing had exhausted him, a sad thing to witness in a man who was previously fit enough to give just about anyone a run for their money. One night, one man’s evil and it was all undone. For how long, Sam didn’t know. Couldn’t tell. One minute Hotch seemed motivated to bounce back and the next he seemed too far gone. Still, he had faith.

And that faith started here, with Derek. That’s all Sam knew for certain. These two, they’d always been tied together. Hotch was Hotch and Derek was Derek, but when they were together they were unstoppable. Derek would make Hotch want to come back, that was the simple truth.

“I ordered you a pizza, it’ll be here in twenty minutes. Let me take that to the dumpster on my way out.” Sam indicated the stained carpet remnants eagerly. Derek balked but eventually decided to hand it to him, brushing his hands on the thighs of his paint stained jeans when it was out of his hands. Like he was wiping Hotch’s blood from his palms. “Hope you like Vito’s.”

“Rossi would kill you for ordering from them.”

Sam laughed and nodded. “I suppose that’s true. He can come by my office if he has a problem with my pizza choices. He knows where to find me.” Slowly, Sam turned to look at Hotch who was solemn on the couch. Trying to reawaken himself or settle himself, it was hard to tell. “You too. Three weeks, it’s on my calendar.”

“How’s it look?” Derek asked, the first thing he’d said to Hotch since they showed. He was looking pointedly at Hotch, and in that moment Sam decided to slip out silently. Hotch noticed but turned to look at the carpet, knowing Sam would rather not have any fuss about him leaving. His work was done, but they both knew he’d be back. Probably a lot. He was the Case Agent, after all. Hotch’s return to duty was securely in his hands.

“It looks…” he said quietly, searching for the word. He didn’t have one. Maybe one didn’t exist. Was there a word in the English language (or any really) that said what he felt looking at that spot and knowing what had happened there but not having to see it anymore? “Thank you.”

Derek grinned and nodded, beginning to pick up the tools he’d set all around his workspace. They hit the old metal toolbox, the top engraved with the initials HM, with a crash. Metal on metal as he tossed them into place – he’d organize it all later. Right now, he had to clean up. They had pizza coming, and he was about three days overdue for sleep, but he was here in Hotch’s apartment and that was exactly where he wanted to be. Where he needed to be.

“I’ll take it.” He kicked the toolbox out of the way and admired his work for a moment before letting out a contented little sigh. “I’m gonna go hop in the shower. I’ll be out before the pizza gets here.”

“Derek?” Hotch whispered, clamping his hands over his knees. He made eye contact with Derek and held it earnestly. “Thank you for coming.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. There was pizza involved and I didn’t have to cook or buy. Easy decision.” He paused after grabbing his go bag, filled with something clean to wear and toiletries, and smiled. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.”

[glapplebloom]

Something I’ve been doing for a while.

So if you've been on any social website with video, you may see meme animations based off some song but only one part of it. But what is the full context of it? So here are four songs that I’ve seen the memes first then found the full song.

Red Flags

The Meme is a date goes so bad, one of them is asking for help with Morse Code. The date asks if anything is wrong and if they can help, and not wanting to reveal their intentions for fear of something bad happening to them, decides to deny asking for help when a waiter comes up to see if they need it. So why is the date so bad?

In the full song, it's because she’s a fan of Human Centipede. A legit fan of Human Centipede.  The Chorus is her saying “Human Centipede” while she talks about why she likes it. And for those who don’t know what that movie is, the song perfectly sums it up with her explaining the plot. So hearing that and all the ways she likes it, the date thinks she’s going to kill him. Either by feeding him or reenacting the movie.

After the meme part, she convinces him that they would be a great couple. So convincing that they’re already talking about marriage on the first frikkin date. Of course, the wedding has to be themed. And the theme? Human Centipede. I’m amazed the most I’ve seen of the song was the blinking segment when Human Centipede was so meme worthy to me. Luckily others have been doing the beginning as well.

Open the Door

The Meme is someone thinking they got everything right for entry. But one mistake locks them out. This is followed by others asking to be let in despite looking like things you should not let in. Honestly, this is the most straightforward of the memes since the song is based off “That’s Not My Neighbor”. The game is all about checking if the person you’re letting in is a real one or a monster. So basically the entire song is about the meme.

Am I Hot or Cute

This Meme starts with a girlfriend asking her boyfriend if she’s hot or cute. The obvious answer is she’s both but she insists that there can be only one choice. And if he wants to keep dating her he has to answer. If you follow only the meme, you would think it ends with him getting a call from his mother (being it real or not depending on the video maker) and her thinking he’s lying.

In the full song, this story continues. He was lying. He texts his group of friends to ask if his girlfriend is hot or cute. They immediately think it is a trap and after explaining why it is, what is hot or cute and their thoughts, one of his friends said the only answer is what she thinks it is. In other words, they did not help. So he has to gamble into answering before she dumps him.

He comes back with his answer and the twist of this entire thing is revealed: she asked him this because he keeps calling everyone dude and she wants him to stop calling her dude. He agrees and she reveals what the boyfriend and one member of the friend group was thinking: hot and cute are the same thing. Honestly I want to remake the entire thing with ponies.

Why Aren’t You At School

In the Meme, a mother calls her son because she found out he was not at school. He claims that he is. She doesn’t believe him and he said that if you don’t believe me just come to my school. So she does. The meme ends with her going to school while the boy playing hooky tries to rush back to school.

That’s not what the song is about. The kid was at school. The school that called the mother was his girlfriend. This was an elaborate scheme to get the alcohol from his mother so they can celebrate their anniversary. Why couldn’t he just fake sickness like his girlfriend? Besides his mother knowing when he’s faking, even if she believes him she won’t let him out after. Sounds like a fool proof plan.

The mother arrives at school, sees her son being there, then when she drives back home the girlfriend will pick him up and they can celebrate. But there’s a flaw in his plan: since his girlfriend called his mother, when the mother called back to complain about the school she found out about the call coming from the girlfriend since she didn’t pick it up and let it go to voicemail. A voicemail that does not belong to the school.

So basically the jig is up and the boy’s mother calls the girlfriend’s mother. The two are most likely going to be grounded. So let this be a lesson to you, don’t complicate plans. 

[sicknessbysalem]

tw emeto, fever

introducing another new kid, but he’s related to vanessa and willow!

also additional tw for an empty threat of harming an animal (it is empty, it was only used as a motivator) just in case.

“How long are you going to keep knocking so… gently?” Vanessa asked.

They’d been standing outside the door of Willow’s friend and clinical partner, Milan Kovalev-Wang, for a solid thirty minutes.

“He wasn’t there for clinicals today,” Willow told Vanessa, “I just want to check on him.”

“How can you be friends with the guy your boyfriend cheated on you with?” Vanessa asked

“Ex boyfriend,” Willow corrected, “And it was easy, we already had something in common.”

“Right, because everyone wants to have a best friend where the common denominator is a shitty ex,” Vanessa said, “Fine, let’s go.”

Vanessa actually didn’t mind Milan. He was nice enough, and from how he and Willow seemed to act with each other, neither of them knew what Joseph was doing when he did it.

Vanessa still wanted to see Joseph’s head on a stick, for sure, especially after breaking Willow’s heart. But, Milan got a pardon in Vanessa’s book, at least for now.

“Well what do you suggest I do?” Willow said, “I don’t want to be rude I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“He might not be able to hear you,” Vanessa said, “Wills, you need to be louder.”

“But won’t that bother the neighbors?” Willow asked, “You do it if you’re so certain how to make him answer.”

Vanessa needed no further permission, she knocked hard on the door.

“What’s his middle name?” Vanessa asked

“Nikita,” Willow said, “What are you-“

“Milan Nikita Kovalev-Wang, if you do not open this door I will personally break it down,” Vanessa yelled through the door, “I swear to god if you will not open this door I will personally skin Zvezda and turn his fur into a beanie.”

“Zvezda is just a kitten,“ Willow whined, “Leave him out of this.”

Vanessa held her hand up, pointing to the door.

Sure enough, the lock clicked. The door opened.

Milan leaned against the door frame, hair messy, scrubs wrinkled, and looking half out of it at best.

“You are such a ray of sunshine Vanessa Lillian McAllister,” Milan scoffed, tucking his mouth in his arm as he coughed.

“Well, I would be nicer if you answered your damn door,” Vanessa said, “Where’s my baby?”

“Zvezda is not your baby,” Milan said, allowing both girls in.

Vanessa sat on the floor, and Zvezda came out of his tree, going to Vanessa’s lap immediately.

“Right, forget that I feed you and Vanessa threatens to skin you,” Milan snapped at the cat.

“I threaten you that I will skin him, not him,” Vanessa said, petting Zvezda, “And for the record, that’s only when you make Willow panic.”

“You two are nauseating,” Milan said, groaning and placing his hand on his stomach, “Extra nauseating today.”

Willow rolled her eyes, before standing in front of Milan, carefully feeling his face for fever.

“I was just worried, you didn’t come to clinicals, and you weren’t answering your phone,” Willow said, “Or the door.”

“How long had you been out there?” Milan asked, heading into the kitchen in search of a small cup for water. Anything to make his throat hurt less and mouth taste even a little better.

“Not long,” Willow said, following him, “You should sit, you don’t look good at all Milan…”

“Thirty minutes,” Vanessa answered the question, holding Zvezda like a baby, the cat purring intensely and nestling up against her.

“I’ve been vomiting since like 2:30,” Milan said, “I was either actively getting sick or too exhausted to move off the floor.”

“This morning or-“ Willow started.

“Yesterday afternoon,” Milan said, “Nothing more embarrassing than losing your lunch in front of your supervisor while you’re supposed to be doing vital rounds.”

“Doctor Sanchez is really understanding,” Willow said, “I’m sure he didn’t think any less of you. Speaking of vitals…”

“You want me to tell you or you want to take them?” Milan asked.

“Well, why not both,” Willow said, “Where’s your kit?”

“In my room, on my dresser,” Milan said.

“Ness, my dear,” Willow said, “Can you grab it?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa said, trying to remove Zvezda from her person, where he had since crawled up her sleeve and rested awkwardly in a position that was mostly in her hood but clinging to the sleeve covering her shoulder, claws digging into her sweatshirt, “Zvezda is coming with…”

“Of course he is,” Milan said, turning to Willow, “Heart rate is elevated from dehydration and strain, no rebound tenderness anywhere, bp dipped around 4 this morning but that was after I’d thrown up for a solid… forty minutes with maybe thirty seconds to breathe between rounds.”

“And a fever that feels like it’s right on the borderline of home treatment and hospital treatment.” Willow said, “I’ll check you too, see if there’s anything concerning… well… more concerning.”

Vanessa set the kit on the table before heading back into the living room with Zvezda.

“You know, for an EMT, you sure hate treating people,” Willow teased over her shoulder as she got to work checking Milan’s vitals.

“First of all, license is expired,” Vanessa said, “Second of all, I can’t do much when you’re working on him too. And third, I’m being blessed by a cat being affectionate and you’re just mad.”

“I’m mad you’re not giving me affection, there’s a difference,” Willow answered.

“Did you not hear me when I said you two are nauseating?” Milan said.

“Someone is anti romantic,” Willow said, “What happened to that Leo kid?”

“Nothing good,” Milan said, leaning back.

Willow grabbed the stethoscope, listening to Milan’s heart rate and then hesitating slightly before listening to his stomach.

Milan could feel the nausea in his throat, forcing him to swallow hard and take a deep breath.

“Well, no appendicitis, stomach virus most likely, IJessica had one, Hayley too… me and then Vanessa got it from me,” Willow said.

“And I’m still not happy about it,” Vanessa said, shaking a feather toy for Zvezda, the small bells jingling as Vanessa talked.

Willow rolled her eyes, putting Milan’s stuff on the table, “I’ll disinfect those..”

“I don’t feel good,” Milan said, a sick hiccup jolting his chest.

“Yeah, she just said you had a stomach virus you idiot,” Vanessa said.

“As endearing as your sarcasm is,” Milan started, but his words were lost in a gag, prompting him to cover his mouth.

“Oh, shoot,” Willow sighed, “Come on let’s-“

She went to help him stand. But he’d already darted off as his feet were on the ground.

Milan lurched towards the bathroom, his steps hurried and unsteady. Willow trailed closely behind, her brow furrowed with worry.

Each retch wracked Milan's body, his throat raw and his breaths shallow. Willow swiftly soaked a soft cloth in cool water, tenderly dabbing his clammy forehead. She could feel the tremors coursing through his body, his muscles strained from the relentless assault of sickness.

"Deep breaths, Milan," Willow whispered, trying to ease his distress. "It'll pass. Just try to breathe."

Vanessa peeked around the corner, her eyes reflecting her concern. "Do you need anything?"

Milan shook his head weakly, still clutching the edge of the toilet. "Just... water."

Swiftly, Willow fetched a glass of water and a small bowl, placing them within Milan's shaky reach. She knelt beside him, her touch gentle as she rubbed his back in slow, reassuring circles.

After what seemed like an eternity, the intense spasms of sickness began to relent, leaving Milan drained and utterly spent.

Milan practically collapsed against the wayy, leaning against the cool bathroom tile, his eyes squeezed shut, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

"Maybe you should lie down," Vanessa suggested, her voice tinged with concern.

Willow nodded in agreement. "Let's get you settled in bed. You need to drink and try to rest."

Assisted by Willow and Vanessa, Milan shuffled back to his room, collapsing onto the welcoming softness of his bed with a weary sigh. Willow handed him the glass of water, urging him to take small, soothing sips.

"Rest now," Willow murmured, after Milan seemed to struggle to simply drink some water. She brushed his sweaty curls off his face.

“I’ll be right here, okay?” Willow said.

-

“I don’t mind helping him,” Vanessa said, “But, does he have anyone else? Like in general.”

Willow shook her head, “His dad’s in the military, his mom is a porn star, so neither of them are around a lot. His dad wishes he went to the military too, and his mom is, well, his mom,” Willow said, rubbing the sleeping Milan’s shoulder steadily, a continuous pattern of comfort for her friend.

“And then, I mean Milan is always studying or working,” Willow said, “The only person he might’ve had was Joseph. Before we knew what Joseph was doing to us. And unless Joseph was a real different man than when I was with him…”

“He wouldn’t have been much help either,” Vanessa said, “I remember that much of the little shit.”

“Yeah, so, just me,” Willow said.

A sick growl came from Milan’s stomach, followed by a soft whine.

Willow sighed, continuing to rub his shoulder.

Willow exchanged a worried glance with Vanessa, both understanding the gravity of the situation. Milan lay there, pallid and weakened by the illness coursing through his body. His vulnerability pulled at Willow's heartstrings; she knew she had to do something more to ease his discomfort.

Willow was a med student. And she knew she couldn’t be so emotionally attached in the emergency room, but when it came to her loved ones, it killed her to see them suffer.

Vanessa sighed, “Let's see if we can find something light for him to eat. Either it’ll calm down his stomach or he’ll have something to come up. I’ll check his kitchen."

Willow stayed close to Milan, softly murmuring words of reassurance to him as Vanessa hurried into the kitchen, scanning the cabinets and fridge for anything that might soothe his queasy stomach. Amidst sparse supplies, she managed to unearth a sleeve of crackers.

Returning to the room, Vanessa offered the crackers to Willow. Willow took them, nudging Milan awake.

"Here," Willow said gently, propping Milan up slightly. "Try to eat a little. It might settle your stomach.”

“Or give you something to throw up so your stomach stops sounding like that,” Vanessa shrugged.

Milan weakly reached for a cracker, nibbling at it hesitantly. His stomach gurgled in protest, he could taste water and acid in the back of his throat.

"Good job," Willow encouraged, even though he froze in terms of nibbling the cracker, her voice soft and comforting. "Just take it slow."

Milan felt sick, and hot. He felt like he was boiling. A sure sign of his he most certainly was going to be sick again.

“Willow did you bring over the trash….” Milan started. He felt like he couldn’t move, if he got up now he’d vomit all over the rug in his bedroom, or the hallway.

“Yeah,” Willow nodded, turning and grabbing it, handing it over, going back to brush Milan’s bangs out of his face, “I always forget how curly your hair is…”

Milan wanted to laugh. But instead, his stomach lurched, and the traces of crackers quickly left his stomach, followed by the water. And then, acid and saliva.

Milan coughed, hard, heaving up small traces of bile with an abundance of saliva. Willow didn’t flinch, holding Milan up.

Vanessa started rubbing Milan’s back and also bracing him to make it so Willow wasn’t harboring the whole burden of Milan’s weight.

“Just take it easy,” Willow said, reassuring him, “You’ll be okay…”

[spiralling-thoughts]

Any Otto and ginnee thoughts? Bec I have been coming up with a few of mine ginnee is becoming one of my favorite background tributes even if she never made it to the games in neither the book or movie

Ginnee

- I love the idea of her being an artist the hat she wore in the movie reminded me of a painter's hat, she loves crafts and writing her own stories she always carries a Note book and pencil with her in case she had a sudden inspiration her family and neighbors love hearing her stories, she has her own small business where she sells bracelets and necklaces she made out of old keys and she always collects things people might consider junk and she creates crafts from it

- she's the youngest in her family and is sometimes teased about it by her siblings she sometimes ignores and sometimes gets angry at it , I see her as being 15 years old

- deeply wishes she can get a cat she's a huge cat lover

- she was horrified at the fact that there were sick children who were reaped and her hatred for the capitol grew more and more from it

-she's indifferent towards the ring twins on the one hand she's glad she and Otto got mentors who are invested in mentoring them and do feed them but on the other hand she can't help but question whether they are doing that out of the kindness of their hearts or so that she and Otto trust them and then they can use them to win the prize

-

I love the idea of Otto and ginnee being childhood friends, they are in the same class in school and hang out when they have free time

Otto

- he works as a mechanic's assistant he had to work since he was 9 because of his parents not being able to work full time due to their physical conditions, he's father has a crippled leg and his mother is blind and there aren't many well paying jobs in district 6 for their circumstances so Otto and he's older sister are the main providers of the family and he has younger twin siblings, Otto wishes he can get to have more free time being a kid as he goes to work immediately after school but he understands that he's family needs him and he accepts the responsibility placed on him

- he doesn't tolerate anyone insulting any of his loved ones anyone who dares doing that well face he's rath, he's very protective of those he cares about

- consider he's childhood toys he's treasurer, it comforts him after a long day to hold one of his childhood toys

- was very mistrustful of the ring twins, he's already deep hatred for the capitol has reached a boiling point and he didn't trust anything the twins do for him and ginnee and was very insulted of the fact that he and ginnee had to dance to get food , despite the twins being nice to him and ginnee he couldn't help feeling mistrustful of them after all they don't understand how terrified and worried he is at the fact that he would have to kill to get home and how he would face ginnee 's family if he did come back to district 6 or how worried he is for he's family how could this two privileged people understand any of the feelings he's going through, he doesn't hate them they were pretty nice to him and ginnee but he doesn't trust them either