#She told me she had trouble googling it because she didn't remember the show and ended up searching 'Chinese Monkey' instead and found him

[riuhere]

Y'ALL. LOOK WHAT MY FRIEND GOT ME!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I'm gonna be honest with ya'll I did NOT think that she would actually listen to me ramble about LMK AAAHHHHHHH- 😭😭😭💖💖💖

She gave this to me at school before class started in an envelope and vaguely said that there were two pieces of polaroid photos inside. Keep in mind that before she gave this to me, she messaged me first saying that she commissioned a photo of me from three years ago and I mistook it as two copies of the exact same photo because when I opened it, my picture was at the front and the other picture was very much clinging to the back of it and I thought nothing of it because I thought it was the same pic (because again I didn't think that she would actually acknowledge I love LMK 😭) . I found that out later at my house that no, it was not a copy of the exact same pic of the other because when I separated it from the other photo, I froze and screamed because gurl??? What??? I literally thought I was hallucinating 😭😭😭 because I just woke up from a short nap after coming home from school. And then I messaged her and thanked her from the bottom of my heart because this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done to me HSHSHSHHSHSHSHS

I shall forever cherish this U.U.

[starberry-cupcake]

I came back!!! I didn't leave you for 5 months!!! And now I have 3 chapter updates together!!! I'm kissing you all in the brow tenderly like palmolive did to harrow and offering this recap

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 34

harrow wakes up in a different spot, with camilla next to her and a shuttle with a design she has never seen before

she confirms that palmolive is indeed in his bachelor apartment in the river

camilla is very glad she doesn't have to go back to sweep the floor of canaan house for more palmolive bits

harrowcita does as palm told her and turns the skull into a hand because cam doesn't want a full skeleton reproduction because "it would get her in trouble"

customs are nasty up there in space

harrow goes to check up the shuttle and finds more old pals!!!

there's judith, remember judith?

in harrow's memory, she was dead from the slasher waker sleeper, but in our memory she was close to dead but not quite

turns out she's alive

not great for anyone other than herself, but anyway

there's also regina george twin

harrow remembers her falling to her death in the hands of mayonnaise uncle, but we remember her from crying in a corner last we saw her

after yandere twin had slurped chad the third and all that

this is again confusing me a bit, because clearly harrow remembers the gideon-less narrative but not!dulcinea is included in her memory, so that's still undetermined for me

there's also a poster of a woman harrow takes quite some time looking at

she: 1) looks intimidating, 2) is dressed in black, 3) has red hair

harrow immediately starts bleeding

"that portrait frightened you more than anything you had seen since becoming a Lyctor; it scared the irresolute piss from your body. Yet you had never seen the face before in your life"

my immediate theory is that maybe she's the leader of BOE who went missing about 20 years ago and that I mentally connect to gideon or gideon's mom

without any evidence other than math and a hunch

we'll see how wrong I am in the following chapters

harrow starts taking out her letters for everyone present

past!harrow wanted present!harrow to silence judith (valid) and protect regina george twin, only silence her if necessary

yandere twin had added some annotations on this about not hurting her sister

these letters were google docs

regina george twin has a ninth house rapier

I WONDER WHAT THAT IS ABOUT

harrow does as told (by herself) but wants to know what is going on so she un-silences judith momentarily and judith is an asshole who wants to rat someone out to the emperor

idk how things are at BOE or what is going on but here we don't stan the emperor so anyone who wants to protect him isn't my friend

camilla gives the ninth pledge to convince her to let them leave and says "we're not on the same side anymore"

PROMISING

when asked who took them from canaan house and who they're with, camilla says "you call them Blood Of Eden"

POSTER THEORY NOT CONFIRMED BUT I WONDER

CHAPTER 35

back in gideon-less universe with ortus and his polycule the fifth

abby thinks the lost chambers of the emperor run sidelong to the facility, which is information I very much would have liked her to elaborate on

but harrowcita is spotted listening in on the private conversation

harrow also keeps wanting ortus to do gideon stuff and show gideon behavior

she doesn't know that's what she wants but we know because she keeps being like "ortus doesn't start immediately doing push ups after almost dying, isn't showing his arms to the young ones and hasn't said a single dirty joke, which isn't ninth behavior but she's somehow expecting it".

canaan house is also growing some body horror stuff

sure, why not

abby says "time was always against us", which is pretty intense, knowing what we know

and then in comes teacher acting like he's drunk out of his ass, but he says he's not

it's great for us because drunk exposition is useful

he calls "the devil" a "her" who "bent for god to put a leash around her neck" and how the "disciples were scared" of her

then the lyctors found out what they had to do and they asked doctor reverend emperor john to kill her

but he "put her in a box"

like this

"you worship a monster in a box" "now we have a monster in a box"

I hadn't thought of those parallels, actually, that's my bad

"once that rock's rolled away, once that tomb's levered open, the Emperor of the Nine Houses will never know peace ever again"

CHAPTER 36

there's a bug in this one, like in the illustration

is this the beast?

harrow prays that not!dulcinea's body is tossed out through the airlock

WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE??????

OH YEAH, I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR THAT SAME THING

at first I thought harrow didn't remember her meeting the gang because it said "and why now was one of your letters missing and another two freshly opened?"

but she does remember, so narrator (still unknown) is confusing me

playing games with my mind

they have boring code-names that aren't puns or funny nicknames (which I have a predilection for) but their initials and the initial of their cav

dr reverend emperor john has a g, which I know what word it stands for, but I don't know what it means because it showed up in a dashboard spoiler but thankfully it had no context

so there's AA for Augustine Alfred, GP for Gideon (alleged, we're still not saying that one aloud, I'm still betting on it though) Pyrrha, IN for Ianthe Naberius

which is confusing to me because I call him Chad and everyone else calls him Babs but his name is Naberius but I always read it as Nebarius

he's like a puppy that you name one way but everyone calls differently

augustine hesitates on harrow's name and says "Harrow's H"

harrow says HO and everyone's awkward about it

you sure, harrow? you sure it's O?

turns out the beast is here to get doctor reverend emperor john's sorry ass for, according to mercygirl what "you did to its kin" and "it sees my cavalier's mortal soul burning in my chest"

harrow wants to kiss ice cube barbie but she's not having it and goes "i have to go away for a while"

that's rough, buddy

mercygirl proceeds to draw a cylinder with names of layers and explains the very convoluted and not at all certain sounding plan they've got

apparently ulysses threw sexy parties that mercygirl hated

harrowcita does remember seeing regina george twin and is worried that yandere twin is the traitor that judith was taking about

I think harrow is the traitor but she doesn't know it

I think her forgetting stuff is part of a plan to kill the emperor, but my evidence is circumstantial

as long as we kill this dude, it's all good

mercygirl gives a speech about how much she hates everyone and how she wants to torture the emperor

if we are to spare one lyctor from the guillotine, let it be her

everyone has positions to take in this plan (that sounds like it's kinda doomed) and that the emperor isn't paying attention to at all

everyone except for harrow, because they all think she's gonna die

and we get potential foreshadowing?????? about the stoma

which is "hell" and the emperor says it's "where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless"

AND THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW, FAM!!! see you next time!!!

[teamfreewill2pointo]

Jensen didn't have the best of luck with both his parents, from what I noticed. There's this one story he told about his mom making him eat green beans until he threw up because he said he didn't like them. And Alan would beat him with a belt so many times, Jensen was able to explain which belts hurt the least. I think it's a great thing he was able to break the generational trauma.

That was considered good parenting in that time and culture. I had a friend who used to spit her green beans into her milk cup because she would get punished if she didn't eat them. They used to serve us terrible food, like mushy brussels sprouts, and then punish us if we didn't choke them down. It was also super common for your dad to tell you to go out and pick a switch to be beaten with and, if it was too thin, you'd get in serious trouble. Jensen talked about being hit with belts at Nashcon2021, but I recall him talking about it other times as well.

Do you remember where/when he told the concussion story? He heard his dad saying that to him? To get up?

It was shared at a convention awhile back. Not recently. He was watching the video tape of it later which is how he knew what his dad was saying when he was knocked down. I tried searching for it on discord/google doc but didn't find it in part because we talk about Sam getting knocked out a lot, so that was most of the discussions.

I want to say it was at a Dallascon, but his dad is often at Dallascon, so I may be confusing it with another dad story.

While searching through my con notes, I found Jared saying that Sam would be a tight end (NJ2015) when playing football, which always makes me laugh. I also found the straw comment source (NJ2013).

(Also at Chi13, Jensen's asked when Danneel will be on the show and he gives a flip answer of "s14" which is hilarious because she did s15.)

When has Jensen made remarks like his father has? Probably cons, but do you remember what they where?

He used gay as an insult in Nashcon11, which was super common back then. He also said a negative Brokeback comment at jibcon, and there was also a negative comment when talking about the trenchcoat scene.

I was raised in a similar environment and used to be homophobic myself, so I don't judge him or anyone else for being raised that way. Only if they don't learn to be better.

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 11

WC: 2077

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: full on angst, discussions of emotional trauma, mild depictions of blood/gore, mentions of self h*rm & su*cide, mentions of child abuse, discussions of physical disabilities, institutionalization, some dialogue & plot canon to TV show, hurt/comfort

🧠

The rest of the conference went by much like the first day did. Both you and Laszlo bought a few books for your collections. An ease had settled over your conversations with the help of Sara and John's presence; you spoke more freely with each other. You tell yourself it is not because he's going soft on you or vice versa, but rather that you have found yourself in this imaginary bubble where you happen to get on well. It's inevitable that it will pop once you’re back at school and Laszlo will revert back to his usual callous state.

Laszlo. It still felt odd to think of him like that, rather than by his title. You couldn't lie, it gave you a sort of thrill. Even in your dreams you had only called him by his honorific. Thankfully you didn't have another dream after Friday. You couldn't escape the feeling that you'd said something incriminating in front of the man in question. So you chose to pretend it didn't happen.

Monday morning came and you headed to the train station. Once again he had secured a private cabin for the journey. This time you came prepared with a book since you had yet to replace your broken phone.

"Thank you again for inviting me to this, I really enjoyed myself. It was really nice of the department to foot my travel expenses, the hotel was really fancy. I may have helped myself to a mini-bottle or two," you joked.

"There is no need to worry about the department's finances; they were not involved."

You pause. He paid for you? Laszlo did say he would take care of the arrangements; but the four-star hotel, the private compartment train tickets, the admission to the conference, and every meal? Shit, that must have been a fortune, hundreds of dollars at least.

You don't know what to say, so you settle for an awkward "oh." A moment passes before you add "I appreciate that, um, I can pay you back. Might take some time but I can."

The professor is flippant in his reply. "There is no need, it was well spent for the research and knowledge acquired." He opens his book signaling the conversation is over.

You lick your lips. Fine then, I'll just consider it payment for emotional suffering and damages of the last eight weeks.

The first few hours of the journey were spent reading one of the new books you picked up at the convention. Occasionally you would peek over the pages at the professor. He was engrossed in his own selection; sometimes he would pause to write down a thought.

Around the seventh hour of your journey you had given up on reading anymore in favor of looking at the fields outside. The silence was comforting.

Laszlo had trouble concentrating on the book in his hand. He saw you as a conundrum. One minute you could be sociable and teasing with your comments, then next you were biting at his throat with your quick wit and fierce ideals. He decides that he wants to know what made you into who you are today. Now is as good a time as any.

His eyes on you cause a tingle up your spine but you ignore it. Laszlo breaks the silence; "may I ask a personal question?"

"You just did," you answer, still peering out of the large window. He huffed once, amused. At his following silence you face him. You raise your eyebrows to signal him to go on with his question. Curiosity grows at the thought of what he intends to ask.

"Twice now you have made implications of a traumatic past," he begins.

Bubble popped.

Interrupting, you snark "is this the part where you psychoanalyze me, doc? Because trust me, I've been through enough of that." You pick at the lint on your jeans.

Laszlo tries to choose his words more carefully the next time he speaks. "What I mean to say is, the first afternoon in the classroom where you defended that student you implied you had been witness to a trauma. You then displayed signs of anger and embarrassment before leaving prematurely. Yesterday you mentioned having entered a psychiatric facility. As an alienist I can't help but find myself curious about your experiences."

You slide your eyes to meet his from across the cabin. Your face is devoid of any emotion. "We all have our demons. Even you can't argue with that."

Your jaw clenches. Everyone had warned you. They all said he would try to worm his way into your head to figure you out. All the reviews, the gossip, everything. It was a big fat 'I told you so'. You give a pitiful laugh at the situation. "You know, everyone told me that you would pull this stunt."

He seems confused by your statement. "And what is that?"

"That you'd get inside my head and try to figure me all out or whatever. You already know I googled you beforehand, what everyone says about your methods. By now I assume you've done a little research yourself. I promise you there is nothing exciting here," you scoff and point to yourself.

"You would be correct in your assumption." You chew at your cheek as he starts. "I do know some of what happened in your past. Yet I also know that society likes to dilute the truth into something either more palatable, more entertaining, for people to consume greedily. What I want to know is what you have faced. How you have not allowed the experience to overcome you so much so that your humanity is erased like the characters I lecture on."

Eyes closing of their own volition you are thrown back in time to that night so many years ago. You didn't talk about it anymore. Bitsy knew of course, but that was the extent.

Laszlo waits. He knows this is likely to push you over the edge if your history with him means anything. Quite frankly, anyone would be tossed to their limit at his interrogation had they gone through what you had. John always told him that he needed to work on his bedside manner; that he had a habit of coming on too strong in his pursuit of learning the intricacies of the human mind. But your earlier comment about being sent to a so-called 'nuthouse' rubbed him the wrong way. It left a bad taste in his mouth. He needed to know. He needed to understand.

Laszlo can imagine the reprimand that he would receive from John and Sara for this. Just as he considers apologizing for his intrusion you open your eyes.

"She was fine. None of us suspected anything was wrong. I came home from having dinner with some… boy, and she had locked herself in the bathroom. She- she must have started over the sink and moved to sit on the side of the tub. She was hunched inside it when I got the door open. I pulled her out. Blood was… everywhere." Your voice is clinical as you explain.

"After, I shut down. So I checked myself into a psych ward a few days later when I couldn't get the feel of her blood off my hands. It's slippery, you know. And it smells. You wouldn't think so but it does." You clear your throat. "I did the therapy, took the meds they prescribed, all the standard treatments. Later I started watching true crime documentaries. I'd heard about exposure therapy so I figured the more I saw the gore, the less the image of my dead roommate would bother me. And it did help. The nightmares stopped after a while, I came back to school. I was better, just not the same.” You had watched the passing landscape as you explained. Turning to face him you speak again. “That's why those pictures didn't bother me. They weren't anything I hadn't seen before."

He contemplates you. The discovery and subsequent loss of your friend in this manner would no doubt cause lingering effects to your psyche. A stain that would forever remind you. "I offer my sincerest condolences. I do not presume to know what that would be like to experience, but I am glad you sought help afterwards. To make the choice to alleviate yourself of your own suffering where possible.”

As he says this he realizes that your anger towards the idea of being enslaved to unconscious impulse makes perfect sense. It explains why you focused so much energy on defending your belief in free will. That you have the power to choose how you carry your joy, your anger, your healing. It reminds him of how he held onto his own guilt and hurt, ignoring how it festered within him for so long. He feels as though he needs to share a piece of himself with you.

“I played piano as a child, quite well too. My mother hoped I would someday make a career of it. I vividly remember playing Mozart’s Concerto for Piano No. 20 in D Minor at a holiday party when I was seven years old. It was my favorite to play.... It requires two hands." You finally look at him. "My father...” He pauses to gather himself.

Now it is the doctor that cannot meet your eyes. As you listen you feel your confusion grow. How could he have been a talented pianist if he only had full use of his left hand? Unless..., the realization dawns on you just as he continues, his words slow.

“My father had two sides. One loving and the other brutal, the two often coexisting. It was something as trivial as putting me to bed, I recall... A game of tug of war. We were laughing…” He inhales a sharp breath. Already you can feel the tears begin to blur your vision. “I don't remember if he was drunk or if I said something that offended him. He must have pulled my arm behind my back.” Laszlo exhales shakily. “In small children, fractures can often affect…” he trails off, unable to finish. You can hear how he barely holds himself together.

Your heart aches for the broken man that sits in front of you. He never let on how much his arm bothered him, at least not within your presence. Suddenly you don’t see him as this rude, insufferable, obsessive man, but instead as someone that spends his life trying to protect himself. He projects his own anger and hurt so that he may, just for a minute, forget about his own demons. He wants to help others even when he feels he cannot bear to help himself.

But unlike you, he has to live with the physical reminder of his past every day of his life.

You stand and move to sit on his right side. Before allowing yourself to think too much of your actions, you place your hand atop his own, curling your fingers around his palm and squeezing delicately. You don’t bother wiping away the tears on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Laszlo;” the whisper is barely heard above the sound of the train. A second passes where you fear you have overstepped and offended him by touching the affected limb. When his thumb tightens against the backs of your fingers you know he is not. He holds you in place.

“You asked me how I kept my humanity. How does anyone really? We learn to take what we get and we carry it in a bag. Sometimes you have to drag the damn thing behind you. But eventually the weight gets less and less if you allow yourself to move forward, even if it’s still there with you all the time. I dealt with what happened years ago and it does still haunt me. It’s easier now than it was, but… I- I suppose I’ve learned from you too. Sitting in those lectures and hearing you talk. We can either let it haunt us for the rest of our lives… or we can accept it… and use the memory of our pain to help ourselves and others.”

“I’m not sure the choice is entirely in our hands.” His tone is mournful.

You turn to smile at him through your tears. His own eyes are bloodshot. “I disagree. If it weren’t, if we didn’t have the freedom to choose that, we’d all be murderers.”

Tag list

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[6rookie-writer0110]

The end has arrived, let the darkness take over you

Frank Castle x Male Reader

Request - Okay good i wanna request for a male reader being punisher's sidekick his backstory is that he came from a poor family single mother 2 siblings and a deadbeat dad he wanted to become a doctor to make money for his family and then family got killed during a crossfire between 2 gangs while going shopping so now he wants revenge he gets a knife buys a gun and starts tracking them down and along the way he comes across frank who's badly injured and unconscious so he drags him away to somewhere safe

All your life you grew up poor. Your mother did everything to have food for you and your two siblings, she worked odd jobs to make sure she can buy clothes and food for everyone. There were moments, that everyone went to bed without eating anything. But your father is a piece of shit, he used to abuse you, mom, and your siblings verbally and physically. You started to fight back. You threw his stuff out then changed the locks. He hasn't come back around for a long time and you want to keep it like that.

You want to be a doctor to help people and provide for your family. Your mom would take you and your siblings to the library, you would start to read medical books old and modern. She knows you want to be a doctor, she wants to help you achieve your dream.

Later, your mother takes you and your sibling's shopping, to buy clothes.

”Y/N, here you can finish reading it at home,” Your mom said.

She gave you the medical book, the library doesn't allow people to check out.

”Mom, you stole it?” You smiled.

”Shh, it's our secret. I know you will be a good doctor and we will always support you. It will be hard but you are strong men and you will make it” She said.

You hugged your mom and she kissed your head. Your siblings hugged you too and you hugged them back.

While walking with them to the store, suddenly there is a shoot out between two gangs on the streets. Bullets start to fly everywhere, people start to run for cover.

You get hit in your arm with a stray bullet, you fall down and hit your head and you passed out.

-At the hospital--

You wake up and your arm is in pain. The IV is in your arm and you look around, the cop walked in.

”Where is my family? My mom-”

”I’m sorry. But you will have to identify your family at the morgue” She said.

Tears start to form and you are stunned.

”W-what happened,” You said.

”There was a shootout between two gang rivals, six people died now we are trying to identify them,” She said.

Your heart starts to race, that's the only thing you can hear is your heart. Later, they take you to the morgue and you see your family. You broke down and start to cry, you kneed down and kept crying.

----

What happened between the two gangs and six people died, the news kept talking about it non-stop. But the cops are taking too long to arrest anyone.

You want revenge, you collected newspapers, booked marked social media talking about the crime, and Google the videos of the crime. You go back to the crime scene during late hours. You searched for clues. You know about the two gangs and no one got arrested, that made you angry. You want to take the law into your own hand and do something about it.

-The next night-

You want to buy a gun and a knife. You know where you go and you bought the items, without any trouble. You start to stalk the first gang The blue reapers, you look at them, and you are filled with rage. Now, you start to think about how you will lure them and kill them.

You really don't have a plan. You are just going in there with a gun and knife against a gang. You are standing across the street watching them. Before you left, you heard a huge sound towards the dumpster. You walked towards the dumpster and you see a guy badly beaten up. He is conscious, you did try to wake up him but it didn't work, you tried to pick him up. You take him back to your place and you start to clean his wounds.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

-Next Day-

Frank wakes up and his body is feeling sore. He did struggle to get out of bed, he walked out of the room and he sees you.

”Who are you?” Frank asked.

”I found you unconscious in the alley. I took you here, to stitch you up and you don't need major surgery. My name is Y/N” You said.

”Thank you,” Frank said.

”Don’t worry your gear is fine. It's in the living room... I know who you are” You said.

”You know who I am?” Frank asked.

You nod.

”Help me. Train me, I need to get revenge for those who killed my family. Please train me-”

”I won't train you,” Frank said.

”Why not? I want those two gangs to fall apart. If we don't stop them they will kill winning and kill more people” You said.

”You don't want this lifestyle. The answer is no” Frank said.

”Just give me a chance. I saw you do it before you fight them then kill-”

”I said no!” Frank yelled.

Frank puts back on his gear and left. You sighed and start to think about what to do.

---

A couple of days has passed by, Frank hasbeen thinking about what you said. Frank started to keep an eye on you, but you didn't notice him following you. Later, you found out the first gang’s hideout. You are being reckless, you only have one gun, and there are more than ten people inside the bar.

Frank can see what you are doing. He sighed and called you a dumbass in his mind. Frank moved rapidly, grabbed you by your hoodie, and slammed you hard against the brick wall in the alley.

”What the fuck is wrong with you!?!” Frank growled.

He doesn't let go of you.

”I want them to pay!” You yelled.

”With one gun!? Once you pull out your gun the next you have a bullet in your fucking skull!” Frank growled again.

You and Frank glared at each other.

”Help me stop them. You have the skills and you can be my mentor” You said.

”Go home, before I break your kneecap,” Frank said cold.

He let's go of you and you really want him to train you.

”I work alone,” Frank said.

Frank made sure you walked away. You did go home but the landlord kicked you out because you haven't paid your rent in months. You grabbed your clothes and a family picture and left. You didn't want to go to the homeless shelter so you slept in the park.

---

Frank knows what you're going through and he changed his mind. It wasn't hard for Frank to find you. He did take you to his small apartment which you're grateful. You do sleep on the floor on air a mattress.

Every day Frank showed you how to properly clean a gun, take it apart then put it back together and how to hold a gun. Next Frank would teach you how to pickpocket and it's not easy for you. Because you have to be silent like the wind but you keep messing up. But Frank starts to teach you how to fight but he is not a nice mentor. He hits you hard and he doesn't take it easy.

”Do you think they will go easy on you? Remember, on their mind, they want to kill you either you kill them first or they will kill you” Frank said.

”I won't forget that” You said.

Frank starts to punch you and you start to block his blows. You punched him in the jaw, he almost fell and he is bleeding.

”Not bad, Y/N. Let's keep going” Frank said.

You couldn't help to smirk.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

Weeks went by you have been killing gang members one by one from both sides. Frank does go along with you for backup, you didn't feel bad for killing them. They killed your family and they must pay. You finished killing two people on your own, you are covered in blood.

”Sloppy but remember don't leave any evidence that belongs to you on the crime scene. Let's go” Frank said.

You and Frank leave the dive bar. Across the street, there are security cameras and it caught you leaving the bar bloody.

--

The cops found out that you and Frank have been killing gang members. They want to arrest you and Frank, but they can't find your location. Frank has taught you how to live off the grid.

--

You are ready to kill them. You and Frank did set up a trap to have both gangs in one place at the warehouse. They want revenge because you killed their friends.

”Who the fuck are you?” He asked.

”You don't care about my name. But I’m here to kill all of you” You said.

They just laughed at you and you are glaring at them. You take out your gun and shot one of the guys in the head. His body dropped now everyone stopped laughing.

”You fucking asshole!” He yelled.

Everyone took out their guns but Frank is on the rail, he is using his sniper rifle. Now everyone is starting to shoot, you run and hide behind a shipping crate. You hid your weapon and you take out the Submachine gun.

You come out and you start to kill them. You were going to load but the guy hit you and you dropped the gun. You take out the brass knuckles and put it on. Now you start to fight and you punch him in the face. He killed your family, you got on top of him and you snapped. All the rage you locked inside came out, he is bleeding out fast but you broke his face.

You grabbed your gun and the bullets, you loaded your gun. You start to shoot and more bodies start to drop. Frank run towards you

” Let's go now,” Frank said.

You followed him outside and locked the doors. You and Frank blocked every exit earlier and left bombs inside. You and Frank get away from the warehouse, he gave you the remote.

”When you are ready,” Frank said.

You didn't say anything and you pressed the button. You and Frank watched the warehouse explode.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

You and Frank go to a small diner to eat. You did burn your clothes because it had blood and put on different clothes. You and Frank don't say anything and just kept eating.

”What is your next move, Y/N,” Frank said.

He takes a huge bite from his burger.

”I have nothing else left for me here. We are wanted so I thought maybe I can tag along” You said.

He starts to think and he drinks his soda and you started to eat again.

”Okay, you can come with me to Canada. I have a friend who can help us” Frank said.

You nod.

--

You met Logan, he has been friends with Frank for years. They trust each other now you're friends with Logan. You told him what happened to your family and he understands the pain and he didn't judge you. Logan told you and Frank that the cops is after you two. But you didn't care, now you want to figure out what you will do with your life.

[princessdong]

 One: The Girl In Her Dreams

Masterlist

Of all the possible outcomes of having a human in her house, Joy would've never thought that this one would be the one. After you left the house with Jiu, who seemed more than happy to get out of there, you hadn't left her head.

She could still see your eyes, never quavering with fear, or showing anything but the utmost disinterest, and only to be replaced by fury. Your eyes were thunders after she let go of your throat, and she was sure that you were going to hit her, she even braced herself to it, but nothing came. She even let herself not move a muscle when you practically mocked her by not believing her true self.

Yet, the fact that you were daring enough to get into an apparent abandoned house, and go as far as to explore it, with no regard for who might be in there, it made you so fascinating in her eyes that she couldn't stop thinking about it.

In her whole life, every encounter with a human had two ways: Either they were completely scared that they could've piss their pants, or completely turned on by the idea of having a vampire sucking their blood. But you didn't. And she had to find you, before you consumed her brain entirely.

That's why she, for the first time in two centuries, she got out of the house for a reason that wasn't feeding herself. She assumed that you had taken the ferry back to Mokpo, as she could hear Jiu groan at the fact that they had to get into the ferry so early, and only that stopped when you told her that she could get breakfast at Mokpo. In that moment, those were the only things she needed to launch herself into the quest of finding you. But, as the ferry moved, she seemed to remember that she was not aware if you were in Mokpo, or if you flew out of the country, or even if you were alive. After all, it's been a week.

Joy quickly remembered why she wasn't out of her house in two thousand years, and it was because of the noisiness. She should've asked Yeri to perform a locator spell on you, or get someone to find you, but she was impulsive, and she was out there, in Mokpo's port, not knowing what to do, where to start. Of course, she had her whole immortality to search for you, but you weren't immortal.

Should she get into Seoul? Should she start searching there? Should she be afraid that you were in another country? She didn't knew. Plus, all those people were making her uneasy, she could hear them all, and smell their blood, even hear their heartbeat. It was a mess, she was getting overwhelmed, but her efforts were in not pouncing into some human. She was no rogue vampire, she was four thousand and something of years, and she had more control in her than a baby vampire.

Among the madness of the busy port, she heard something that she needed to hear.

“Jiu! You should stop from going with Y/N to those places! You can't keep up like this.”

She turned around, trying to search for the voice, and the girl she saw with you. There she was, with her purple hair falling from her shoulders, wearing something so simple as a shit and a pair of jeans. Next to her, there was a girl, with dark brown hair, and they were holding hands. She started to get closer, trying to listen, and to think how to get them to tell her location.

“I know, Jagi, but I don't wanna let her go all alone, she might get in trouble one day. And she's my best friend.” Joy heard Jiu say, and she smirked, knowing that you had been face to face with trouble, if she was up to it.

“But then you get all scared the days after. And then you drag me to make sure that the house doesn't have anything strange, at day.” The other girl complained, and, although she understood that they were talking about her house, it could be a great opportunity to have some interrupted alone time with you.

“Uh, excuse me, do you know, by chance, where it's the house of Y/L/N Y/N? She's, uh, tall, has no fear of getting into haunted places...” She said, trying to sound like she was not trying to find a complete stranger. “I'm an old friend of hers, and, I came here to surprise her, but you know, since she's gone to university, and her parents moved...”

She hoped that they either didn't knew your parents, or your parents had moved somewhere else, as she didn't have any idea of who were your parents, or if it was even truth what she said. Luckily for her, it happened that you parents did actually moved to a more secluded place in the outskirts of Seoul... But it was a year ago.

“You really haven't seen her for that long, huh?” Jiu chuckled, but she understood. If it wasn't because of her always coming to your home unannounced, and your yearly tradition of getting into haunted places. “She lives in Seoul, do you have your phone? I can show you on Google Maps.”

She was aware of what Google was, and what a phone was, but all thanks to the newborn vampires, or rookies, as she liked to call them, but she did not come to contact to such frivolities of the human world. Or anything from the human world.

“It's dead” She simply said, and the pair seemed to understand right away.

“To the old way it is then” The other girl said, and then started to explain that you were in Seoul, the direction, how to get there, of course, not saying the obvious part that Joy had to take a train, taking as the old vampire was an old friend of yours that had lived in Seoul.

After all, you hadn't been out of the city long enough to make friends.

And that fact was just hanging above Joy's head like the rock above Tantalus head, threatening to fall in any second. But she wasn't one to be intimidated, so she left after thanking, and biding goodbye. She could easily compel someone to show her the directions to Seoul, as Korea had changed so much in so little.

Last time she had been in the mainland, she traveled on carriages, with horses carrying it, and boats had people to row. Now they all had something inside that carried them. If Chanyeol saw her, he would be probably rolling in the floor laughing. She couldn't let herself fall in the only quest that she had, and she already had the needed information about you, now only had to get there, somehow, some way.

Lucky for her, being a vampire comes with tricks, tricks that she had mastered during the monstrous time he had been a vampire, with the help of those humans who would become her food, only to get rid of that awful guilty feeling of not having a chance at feeding from any other thing, and causing pain to the human.

She make sure to be as far away as she could from the pair that she found out, and walked to a deserted street, where there was only a man who seemed to work at the port.

“Uh, excuse me, Sir.” She said, bowing once the man looked at her.

When she had his complete attention, and he was close to her, she flashed her eyes red, and the man looked at her like his life would end if he didn't.

“I need you to instruct me how to get to Seoul. You must accompany me on my journey until I reach said city.” She compelled him, and the man could only nod before starting to walk away, being followed by the vampire.

Joy then found herself getting into a train station for the first time. Her, who hadn't been in a train in her whole life, wasn't sure if the iron cage would be able to get her to Seoul, or if the cage was actually something else, and the compelling had failed. She was scared, but she asked the man how it worked.

It was then when she learned that humans didn't even know how things worked, not even those who were born in the century where all of that already existed. But he could explain that it was a mode of public transportation, where everyone, not caring about the social status of the one who was sitting next to them.

That led her to think about who she was now in the world. She had been married into the Joseon family, so that mean she was a princess, or she had been. And she came from a rich family, didn't that meant anything now? She was, by law, the princess now, as her husband had been killed right in front of her eyes. Not that she had cared anyway.

But how did she fit in that world? Did she wanted to? No. She didn't wanted to fit in that awful human world, she didn't wanted to have any contact with the human world unless it was seeing you. She hadn't tried to seize the crown after all those years because she didn't have the slightest interest in ruling Korea, or any place that had humans as its residents. She could be a clan leader, that much she would like, but having contact with humans? Just this once, to get rid of whichever spell or trick you put her under, but that was it.

That was why she accepted to sit in one of those communal seats, next to a man that wore common clothes. The man she compelled was not seating, but was standing next to her. Joy didn't cared to ask, neither try to convince the man to sit, as he was just another pawn in the chess game of her life.

The train from Mokpo had been a new experience for Joy. Nothing had moved as fast as it did when she was human, as horses can only run at certain speed. Plus, she got to see how Korea had improved itself to keep up with the world. The large blocks of glass and iron, who she later knew it was used for work, and some other less interesting-looking buildings, where the people with less money lived.

The cars that she saw in the streets, things that she wouldn't even imagined, and the streets, every single one was paved. In her times, there weren't like that.

Everything was new to her, and people sometimes looked strange, like that one who had a furious pink hair, and another who had an iron ball in their face. They didn't dressed like they did four thousands years ago, but that wasn't a new. Even herself was dressing different than how she would've done on her human life. She wasn't used to wear short skirts, no matter how long she had been trying to wear them, and she wasn't even sure of how she felt with shirts that didn't even got to her waist.

Fashion nowadays is like that, Chaeyoung had told her before. Even though Chaeyoung was almost as old as her, she had been a little more into the human world as Joy was. But, she was also more ruthless when it came to them, so the dark haired girl wasn't sure of how much she could count on the younger one.

The train journey had come to an end before the vampire could even make her mind grasp into the whole new world. And even then, when she and her companion got down of the train, she couldn't believe how much the world she knew had changed. Even Seoul had become unrecognizable.

The five grand palaces were nowhere to be seen, and they were supposed to be so magnificent that everyone would turn their heads to watch them. The people walked fast in the pavement, mostly surrounded by buildings so tall that Joy had to look up finding some of them lost in the clouds.

“What happened to my birthplace? Why is Seoul like this?” Joy lamented, still looking how the concrete took upon the most beautiful city she had ever seen.

“This is not Seoul, this is Cheongju. We have to take yet another train to get to Seoul. Mokpo is really far away from the capital. Can I ask why didn't you take a plane? Is faster, and easier.” The man, still under compulsion, asked.

“What is a plane?” Joy looked at him, frowning.

“Don't you know what a plane is?” He asked once again.

“I may know what is the thing, but not by its name” She answered.

“Oh, uh... The iron birds?” He answered unsure, as he didn't knew how to describe it to a completely unaware person.

“Oh! I see them in my backyard! They go really far in the sky!” Joy enthusiastically said, as she found herself always marveled at that particular invention.

“Yeah, those. You could've taken them to Seoul, and it would've been faster.” He divulged, and Joy nodded absentmindedly.

“But I didn't, maybe next time. Now, we have to go, another train is awaiting for us” Joy declared, already walking in some direction she wasn’t sure it was the right one.

“Uh, ma’am, your going in the wrong direction. Let me lead” The man cautioned, waiting for Joy to get back to a safe distance before starting to walk in the opposite direction.

The second ride didn't got joy as excited as the one before, but as the sun slowly started to set, she centered herself into asking as much as the human could answer. Of course, there were things that the man didn't knew profoundly, and it left Joy even more curious.

This time, they got quickly in Seoul, as the ride wasn't too long. Once the vampire got there, she smiled. She was finally going to be able to see you, and discover what had you done to her.

“Quickly, ma'am, we're really close to your destination, I bet you wanna get there as soon as you can” The man said, walking out of the station.

And it was then when she realized how it was already night, and that he must have family that was waiting for him back home, and that probably won't see him until the sun came up, if he was lucky.

“Just inform me how to get there, and I will do so. You probably family to go to.” She compelled him, and the man nodded.

“Just get into one of those yellow cars, and you pay them to get to your destination. Do you have money? Or anything to pay them?” The man asked, still not getting out of the compulsion.

“Yes, I do, I'm okay now, I still have the address, you may go now, I hope you have a safe trip.” She bowed to him, and he then walked away.

Joy walked to a taxi, sighing, and gave him the direction of your home. He didn't spoke, and Joy didn't spoke either, so she was just thinking about what she would do when she got there. Truth is, she had no idea. She threw herself to the idea of getting to you, to get her peaceful mind back, but she had no idea of how to do so. She was simply out of her mind, with her always so calm and collected now reduced to a reckless nothing, She couldn’t believe it, the great Park Sooyoung, the once heiress to an empire, acting like some lowland person.

But, a part of her knew that that one Park Sooyoung had died long time ago, with her humanity. She wasn’t the great Park Sooyoung, she was now Joy, Park Joy, if it pleased the crowd, and those were two different girls, they had to be.

Her predicament was cut short by the driver, who had made the car stop, indicating that she had arrived the destination, and demanding to be paid. Truth be told, Joy had not eaten since the morning, and she had been kind enough to spare the man who traveled with her because he had endured the endless questions from the girl for a long time, but this man didn’t earn her kindness, so he wouldn’t have the same fate as the prior one.

“Actually, I’m going to be the one rewarded”

The night had finally come for you, and with that it meant for you to get back into your apartment to have finally some unhealthy amount of hours of sleep, only to get up and get back into your daily routine. Being an university student does that to people. And you would’ve dozzed off in the couch, or even make a zombie walk to your bed, if it wasn’t for those eyes in the dark. Those red eyes, following your every move since you got inside the house. Those eyes that had been engraved in your mind ever since you saw them for the first time in Jeju.

That thought seemed to get ridden of your sleepy state. That island was too far away for her to be there, it was impossible for her to be there. But as much as you wanted to deny her presence, those red eyes were moving, until slowly but surely started to be part of a face, that face that you were not able to forget since you were there.

“Joy.”

“Well, hello there. I though that I would have to wait for you the whole night”

[theelliottsmiths]

So anyway, Mein Herz Brennt Making of liveblog, one of my favourites

First of all, I do take any use of piano MHB as a slight towards my tiny hands. -1 point

I really would love to visit this place, it's beautiful

I love that Oli introduces it and then Till is straight in there talking about murder and stabbings. Trust that to be what intrigues him. I feel like 'smells like murder' isn't a direct translation but that's purely because I spent like ten minutes trying to work out what words he says. It rhymes, which is suspicious.

Oh this was before he let his chest piercing reject all the way out in the grossest way

When schneider says Krankenhaus it sounds very Geordie and I'm convinced that kind of thing is why Auf Wiedersehen, Pet was created

Richards eyes light up when he's talking about the room he's in and it's one of those looks where it's just. I would love to listen to anything anyone has to say when their eyes have that sparkle.

"the scavengers had already been here" cue Paul talking about his criminal past thieving from there. See, another example everyone forgets of him being the biggest bastard of them all. The smile is a front.

One of my favourite ever Rammstein things is the combined joy and mockery from Paul when Richard is revealed to be wearing the bird mask and it wiggles as he nods. He looks like a little black cockatoo. Richard looks embarrassed to be wearing it but Paul is having the time of his LIFE.

The way is echoes in his mask makes him sound like he's clucking

Flakes glasses perching in his cone make him look like that sesame Street doctor or scientist

They all suit this make up so much and I wish they'd consider it as a stage look

Peck. Not intimidated.

Considering the nightmares Till has/had, ouch

Richard looks so much like a little vampire prince but like, a character from what we do in the shadows. He makes his own smokescreen entry/exist and everything.

Melanie!!!

Richard has many tendons in his neck huh.

The sounddd. I used to always be curious as to whether or not people in music videos were making the sounds it looks like they're making and now I know and I'm uncomfortable. This and also later when till does the heart

His laugh is never what I expect it to be

That uh. That doesn't look like he's in pain the way the injection sounds implied. At all. Not that I'm complaining but it gives mixed messages.

I'm so sure Richard is the only one I've ever heard use the word quasi. It makes sense for him if true but maybe I only notice because of the tone he uses? His is quite a punchy nasal tone it might just be more noticeable.

Till with kids is always the most adorable wonderful thing. He's really helping to keep them relaxed despite the creepiness of the stuff they're shooting.

"if you look at the cover then you'll recognise a morbidity to the whole thing" till, my darling, do you think people don't already ~see the morbidity~?

I googled and the lady doesn't pronounce renaissance with a g like Till does and that interests me. In fairness I have to assume it's like in Norwegian how words like restaurant are pronounced with a g sound because it's closer to the French sounds? It's not like we in English donut the French way either but the Google translate lady does. This is why I always suspect that when I'm learning a language I'm learning the language wrong and at some point I'll find out there's a Real, For Adults version if the language that's totally different. This is irrelevant. Accents are fun and I like being able to notice them.

It feels so strange seeing this knowing what Eugenio did

Paul taking pictures because he knows better than them

Something about a child saying "ah yes, I know Till and Flake very well" is hysterical.

You can feel the dismay and disapproval radiating off till as he tries to be diplomatic about the Spanish understanding of linear time. He struggles to find a positive and only comes up with the fire walls. "It should have gone out before we filmed anything because they were fucking around with the playback so long but it didn't" is his only compliment.

The German word for French is wild.

Do they know they could have hired an interpreter? Interpreters existed in 2012 I know this

This whole thing with Melanie is beautiful you can't deny that the arm Eugenio made with then was lovely.

Till in the dress with Melanie in his lap. I don't off the top of my head remember seeing it in either video so I simply must assume that it was just what he was wearing that day when he showed up. She's so tiny on his knee I'm glad they're still friends.

"you're left in a state of trauma when everyone stares at you all the time" did this need to get so heavy? It's interesting that he focused more on her voice than her appearance there, though in fairness it's pretty high

They all love her so much and it's totally understandable.

Mit rock n roll und cola trinken

I have to skip the screaming the secondhand embarrassment is too much.

Part 2

Again, this liveblog is so long

Sometimes Oli speaks like his body isn't used to talking.

I want, so badly, to know if Richard was having memories of his dreadlocked youth The tiny cup in his elegant hand is so pleading and then you look left and. It sure is something.

Are they freckles or acne scars across Tills shoulders?...cute. The first set of arm/chest wounds, not so much. I do spy his lil tummy scar

Richard does look like he almost swooped in for a kiss and then changed his mind because of the camera. Paul turns his head that way and then Richard tries to save with a step back and face rub (his own). Just saying.

The fact that a few of them have taken pictures on their personal phones warms my soul it's such a nice reminder that they're good friends outside of work and My Heart

Schneider and Paul ready at a moment's notice to be Dumbasses. J'adore.

What if Zoran was more of a background character tho actually

God, schneider is beautiful. An ethereal, pure beauty that exists no matter how he's being styled.

See okay how is flake almost taller than Oli right now he's not even doing his standard open legs and swan spine thing

It must be so hard to find Oli sized clothes. Flake is also tall and slim but he's a lot more leg, whereas Olis height seems largely to be torso. I have to assume a lot of his stuff is tailored or custom made now.

I always forget about the marks on tills back when he's in the nightmare dress

The child staring with great confusion at a bright red flake reading. I would love to know what his favourite books are.

The childs plural poking and prodding at a very patient Oli, who gracefully bends his spine in ways I've never seen a human do before. I wonder if he's ever dressed up as Lurch from the Addams family.

The actress playing the woman in this half is so beautiful and has a power her younger counterpart lacked when she was threatening him with her weapon.

I am a dummy and was like weird why is Paul speaking Norwegian. I know full well he wasn't saying unnskyld because I've heard Germans say their equivalent before and I assume Entschuldigen either sounds like that fast or shortens so what the fuck, rhi

Till guiding people through him murdering them is truly one of life's greatest pleasures. They trust him so completely. I would like to watch them dance the elegance would be astounding.

Paul lurking watching with what I choose to see as pride as till slaughters an old woman.

Paul being critical (again, as always, rightly so) of the hallway mouthing the lyrics decision.

"for this in prepared to make compromises" he says, hating every bitter word of it

I would like to know what he wanted to say about till and then see him get into trouble over it.

I would like to see till in a bouncy castle. He's adorable jumping into the comfy pit I want to see him in a bouncy castle. Child, utter child.

Paul takes every opportunity to say how hot he thinks they all are and I love that about him. Sometimes your friends are all hot and everybody needs to understand that fact.

Their approaches to pretending to play cello are all so uniquely them. Flake and Richard are taking the time to try and understand what they're being told, whereas Paul just fucking. Lays into it, attracting the weirdest looks from Oli. Richard looks beautiful with that cello and I think he should learn to play. For fun not for work. It's not just that he looks so handsome, but I think that's the easiest way to convince him. I think he'd be good at it, and not being the lead at something might be good for him.

I appreciate that Oli is skeptical because yeah they do all look like they've never held a cello before.

They do, however, all look lovely in their dresses. I'm trying but actually I can't not say that Schneiders little sternum dip makes it seem like he has breasts in that dress and it's a good look for him.

Till singing it in such a high voice, more like his speaking voice, is both interesting and lovely. Oli is trying... So little compared to the others. Laughably incorrect

Why yes, I am laughing at the sheer length of the spikes. They're just... They're so fucking long. So long.

Paul is actually probably the best one there, ironically. They're all comically out of time. They're professional musicians. I know they aren't used to bowed instruments I do understand and I don't want to be uncharitable but also they are struggling. I want to see cellists react to this.

Pretty dresses! And the nightmare but with the most awful and worst fingers! Like the Grinch but goth.

Both Schneider and Richard had the same neverending shoot idea and I am Intrigued.

Till waiting for Schneider with the umbrella :)

Wir brennen! Paul is always so happy to play with fire.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x10 - American Woman

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SECRETS OF THE PAST — After uncovering a cryptic message from the past, Alex (Tyler Blackburn), Isobel (Lily Cowles), Max (Nathan Dean), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Maria (Heather Hemmens) set out in search of answers at the reservation where Alex’s mother grew up. Meanwhile, Cameron (guest star Riley Voelkel) encourages Liz (Jeanine Mason) to reach out to someone from her past after Auturo (guest star Carlos Compean) gets detained. Marcus Stokes directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingaro & Jason Gavin (#210). Original airdate 5/18/2020. 

DETAILS:

Tripp brings Louise to the Reservation in a body bag where the Navajo doctors are able to save her life.

"Your message said that you were gonna bring two women that would be no trouble.  This looks like a lot of trouble."

"I must have gotten the codes wrong."

"No, don't give me that Manes man nonsense. Not here in my own home."

"Her name is Louise. I promised her friend Nora I'd protect them. My brother triggered an ambush before I could get them here. And Nora…"

"Wait, what does the Air Force want them for?"

"They're not from around here. They're from...up north."

"Yìiyáh. No. She can't stay here… What if your brother comes here and finds a fugitive.  I can't put my people at risk for a white woman."

"Please. You're the only person I trust. If she doesn't make it, it was all for nothing."

"I'll have you remember that I was the one that saved your ass in Okinawa. I don't owe you anything. I'm only doing this because you're my family. And because I'm a damn fool."

A few notes on this scene:

--I don't know why Tripp pretends he got the codes wrong.  Unless he's spiraling and talking about the timing of the attack.  But it seems like he means the message that he was bringing them to the reservation.  Clearly things didn't go according to plan.  Though, it is always possible that we're still missing bits of the story.

--OG Easter Egg.  "They're not from around here.  They're from up north." For anyone who didn't watch OG, this is almost exactly how the exchange went when Max told Liz he was an alien in the 1999 pilot.

--Yìiyáh - I found nothing on this word.  I'm assuming that it's a curse word or general exclamation of negativity, but literally got zero results on google. It's possible, of course, that it's misspelled in the captions.  There were a lot of errors in the captions in this opening scene.

--While there really isn't any overt statement that Alex is half Navajo and this town is part of Navajo Nation (which has been in the news a lot lately and therefore is a good place in this country to be aware of), there's lots of clues or subtle enough statements that I feel like it can be accepted as fact, since: Harrison is a codetalker, the necklace is Navajo, tsela is a Navajo word. So I did a little peeking and it could work.  The closest Navajo town is about a 4 hour drive from Roswell.

Navajo Nation: 

(side note - Navajo Nation has extreme poverty but also is utterly gorgeous. And the Tribe gets income from tourism. Just a few places there that I'm dying to go? Monument Valley, Antelope Canyon, Shiprock.  Check it out.)

Liz comments on Max's irregular heartbeat, with literally no acknowledgment of the fact that she's straddling him and has a history of causing his heart to race...and other forms of lack of control (think 1x03).

"I'm excited about this though. You know Alex dug up all that info on our bio Mom. You sure you can't come?"

"Got to take my dad in for his blood tests. I want to check on Jenna too.  Cannot believe she's back in the hospital again."

"She's been in pain for weeks. I have no leads on the mysterious hunting van, and Charlie hasn't made contact."

"Hmm. To be fair, I do hear that phone service is a little spotty in flying saucers."

"Okay, I get that. You think my alien abduction theory is bogus."

"I know you're worried that this has something to do with you, but I don't think this is an alien thing."

"Cam and I had fractal burns on our necks. We had no memory of what happened. That's alien stuff. I just want clarity on something."

--Note that it's past time to abandon all hope of anything resembling a defined timeline for this show...once again we have weeks passing between episodes. This is the second time this season that the time passing has only been generically described as "weeks".  It's been at least a year since Liz came back to Roswell (per her conversation with Diego), but a year would be summer (late May or early June, specifically), and in this episode Isobel mentions that it's winter (which would be a year and a half).

Maria's pitch:

"In conclusion, esteemed members of the Roswell Tourism Board, while the Pony is normally a sanctuary for locals during CrashCon, I think that my plan to turn it into the Contact Cantina Pop-Up Bar will be a hit with alien fans."

"We're talking more money than we first speculated, aren't we now?"

"You know, Mayor Bernhardt, I forgot to tell you about our new morning cocktail… It's coffee, vanilla cream, and our best bourbon. Let me get you a double."

Note: so this is the famous Mayor Bernhardt. Funded by the Long family. Doesn't like immigrants. Had a racist relative who wouldn't give first prize to the black man.

Maria's vision…

Herself, younger, sitting at the Pony bar. 

"You have to let me go! You're just crazy! And I'm trapped!"

And then she runs from the bar crying.

She's not wearing the necklace.

Describing it to Michael:

"I had a vision, but it was more like a memory. Of a fight I had with my mom when I was younger."

Isobel interrupts Michael and Maria to pick them up for the road trip. Just a few relevant excepts from this scene:

"Pack your bags. We're going on a family road trip."

"Is this why Max wanted the day off?"

"In the photo of Max and Isobel's bio Mom, there was a water tower. Alex recognized that water tower from the town where his mom grew up. You should come with us."

Alex and Forrest talk in the Crashdown:

"Hope that limp isn't from a paintball injury."

"Nope. Those bruises have mostly healed. I just got a new prosthetic. Takes a minute to get used to. You working on your book?"

"I write my book on my computer.  However, I write my angsty emo poetry in an angsty emo journal."

"I'm actually working on some poetry myself. Well, song lyrics, technically. It's a lot harder than it was in high school."

"Yeah, writing was easier for me when I was a kid too. Feelings...we bury 'em now. You just got to find that thing inside of you that doesn't have a voice. Lend it yours. You know? Listen, I have like, zero musical talent, but if you need help with the worst part, we could, uh…"

"Actually I'm leaving tomorrow for a few days to go talk to some recruits."

Michael interruptus, and the conversation goes casual.

--What happened to "angsty nerd isn't really my type." Or...was it FORESHADOWING!!!?! 😂

--Oh hi there clear shot of Forrest's clearly Deep Sky logoed ring…

Cam has been having debilitating migraines that have been keeping her bedridden since the abduction.

Nurse Kate is a badass. she tries to keep ICE from getting into a patient's room. Liz hears her and hurries to the waiting room, where there's more ICE activity. Liz panics and tries to get Arturo out of the hospital, but she caught the attention of the ICE officers. However, Liz knows her rights.

"He has applied for his green card. I'm his sponsor, okay? This is his G-1145 right here."

"You can show that to the court."

"It's okay. Call the lawyer."

"No. He is a diabetic. It is illegal to detain a patient."

"Exigent circumstances. Move."

"No. Hey, this is an unconstitutional arrest and the ACLU will be all over you."

"Elizabeth, we respect the law in this family. If you're in trouble, who will take care of the mouse?"

--G-1145 is a request for confirmation that your green card application has been accepted:

--The timing of this all. Liz has been prepared for this moment all her life and would fight it to the point of getting arrested herself, if not for Rosa. Rosa's safety is the only thing that convinces Liz to step aside.

--As an only semi related note, this is a really interesting contrast to how they wrote Jeanine's character out on Grey's Anatomy.  

--Also feel like it would be remiss of me to not point out Liz's reactiveness and fightinf mentality is mirroring how Liz initially reacted to Max pulling her over in the pilot.

"Okay. So the Deputy on call says there's one detention center in the county. Here's the info."

"He doesn't have anything left in Mexico. No one. Nowhere to go."

"You can't think like that right now."

"I think like this always. Rosa and I used to recite our escape plan for if our parents got deported and we got separated in foster care. I begged my parents not to tell Santa where we lived because I was afraid he'd ask for papers. My whole life was built on a fear of this day coming, and it's here. If I'd have kept better track of his health, he wouldn't need these tests. I should have made him move to California. I thought we were safe being outside the hundred-mile zone, but after this election I should have known better. And I should have made him wear a sweater this morning because it's freezing out there. And what if he…?"

"...okay think. Is there someone we can call?"

"Kyle's at a conference, but I can have him call his mom."

"Do you know anyone with some real power? You know, Federal muscle?"

Cam gets dressed to take Liz to the Detention Center and Liz calls Diego for help.

The road trip group arrive at the reservation and meet Gregory Manes.  He says he remembers them all from high school.  He takes Max, Michael, and Isobel to learn about Louise while Alex and Maria go jewelry shopping.

Meanwhile Gregory is taking the Pod Squad to Louise's grave, but pauses for some flirting:

"You're still the Isobel Evans who convinced the basketball captain to pull four different fire alarms to get out of AP Gov, right? Yeah, legend. Here she is."

"Oh my God, it's covered in flowers.  It's winter."

"Rumor is they grow year-round unattended. She was a healer. I'm told she helped with trauma, addiction, that sort of thing. All without speaking."

"This another grave?"

"She was pregnant."

"Louise arrived gravely injured. And the baby didn't survive.

--Louise died the same day the Pod Squad came out of the pods, confirming that she is probably the old woman on the reservation that was described in 1x09.

--Michael found the mysterious purple flowers growing on Louise's grave.

Alex and Maria at the trading post.

"Are you okay? Seem a little off."

"I had a vision during a meeting this morning. It almost cost me a deal that could save the bar. Maybe I should just wear the necklace. Go back to being a social media guru. Slash barkeep. Slash magical trope in our redneck mayor's fantasy."

"So why did you really come today? Your ideal day off isn't fighting for the radio silence with Isobel Evans, so…"

"This is the back of my necklace. The word stamped in the silver says Tsela. The necklace is Navajo, so I thought maybe that was the jeweler, but no one I've asked here seems to know who made it. I just want answers."

"Well, there's a ton of silver jewelry for sale here. So why don't we just keep looking for something with the same stamp?"

Pod Squad sharing a bottle of acetone by Louise's grave.

"Noah said our planet was war-torn. But the hell they found here can't have been worth it."

"Do you think that Louise's baby died from her injuries or do you think maybe it was never going to survive?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was pregnant. When you died. Obviously I'm not anymore. I just can't help wondering if that was my last chance. Assuming that humans and aliens can't procreate because they're different species. Maybe that little baby wasn't viable."

"You almost died during the abortion, didn't you? I could feel it. Noah almost killed you again, huh? Oh, I need a minute."

After Max leaves Michael offers to be a sperm donor for Isobel if she ever wants to have a kid.

Liz at the Detainment Center

"It's Ortecho. Arturo Ortecho. He's my dad. And he needs gliclazide and beta-blockers. I brought both."

"We can't take contraband here, but there is an infirmary on-site, if he's here."

"You know, out of curiosity, did Nebane Abienwi visit an infirmary before he died of a brain bleed in your custody? What about Johana Medina León? She was 25 years old, okay? People walk through those doors and they die...Who's your supervisor? You need prior approval before conducting enforcement in a hospital. There was a compliance memo."

"Right, a memo, which is just like a law only not. Unless you calm down, I'm gonna arrest you for obstruction."

"Okay, Liz, maybe sit down.  Sir, I'm Deputy Jenna Cameron, and we appreciate your interpretation of your guidelines, but we have an urgent health concern about an inmate here, if you just wouldn't mind checking the system."

Jenna goes with the agent…when she returns...

"Do you have a court case next week for a vandalism charge?"

"What? Yes, but I didn't do it. I'm just gonna plead guilty and pay the fine. It's nothing."

"They denied your dad's green card application because of a misdemeanor on your record. You can't be his sponsor."

Jenna's headaches overtake her. Meanwhile, the ICE agent comes back with news:

"Here just came up. Ortecho is being transferred to El Paso for his deportation hearing. You can see him there around Tuesday."

--Liz's misdemeanor is taking the fall for Rosa's vandalism from when she was arrested by Sheriff Valenti in 2x02.

Gregory takes the Pod Squad to see Harrison who is on his death bed.  Manes boys are always welcome here, the woman tells them. Harrison is the only one Louise ever spoke to on the reservation.

"He met my great uncle Tripp Manes fighting in WWII.  Harry was a code talker."

Michael gets Gregory to leave with him so that Max and Isobel can go inside of Harrison's head. Their conversation:

"You look like her."

"Harrison.  You look different."

"That was a lesson I learned from Louise. How to take your mind to a better time when you're in pain. Come on. I haven't seen the sky in a while. I'll tell you about her...I taught Tripp the codes in the Pacific. That's how we set up the rescue. He was supposed to snuggle Louise and Nora here, but the plan fell apart."

In the past between Harrison and Tripp:

"You've changed. The man I met on that ship obeyed orders."

"Guess I saw what happens when good men fall in line with bad orders. I'm a Christian, Harry. When evil itself tells me to kill a woman with child, I disobey. Even if the evil looks just like my brother."

A nurse rolls Louise into the room in a wheelchair.

"Did you find a family for her?"

"There should be music where you take her. I think she's a dancer."

"You can give her a house full of music, Louise. Nora wanted me to protect you so that you could protect the child."

"No. He's coming for me and I can't even move. No. When the devil comes, I won't be able to fight for her. Please. It is hard to be a woman on your planet.  It's only gonna be harder still for her. Roy Bronson believed in meeting hatred with compassion. And I want her to be like him. A light in the darkness. A little star on the ground. I want that for both my girls."

"Where did he take the baby?"

"Can't say."

"No. Tell us where our sister went."

"She isn't your sister. Louise rarely spoke, but when she did, she spoke of two daughters. Two stars on the ground. She had no sons. You aren't hers. You came from something else...She lived for decades longer than she should have, trapped inside of a body that could no longer dance, waiting for a sign that you would be all right. She loved you."

Jenna wakes up back at the hospital.

"I asked them to run a new test. Your headaches are spinal headaches. Because there was a hole torn into your spinal cord."

"I'm sorry, what? My kidnappers gave me a spinal tap?"

"Do you mind signing off so I can look at your tox screen?"

"Yeah, of course, but, Liz, you don't have to do this, okay? Your dad, and…"

"I need a distraction. I can't leave for El Paso until tomorrow, and they're not letting him have visitors other than his lawyer until Tuesday, so...thank you for being here. You used your privilege to help me. I'm furious that I needed it, but I needed it."

--Reposado is a type of tequila

--Spinal Headaches:

Isobel and Max on what they learned from Harrison:

"You've always been different than me and Michael, okay? Always. You were the leader. From the start. I mean, you're the special one. You're the healer."

"I was. Now I can't even sneeze without my heart skipping a beat. All my life, no matter how weird things got, I never felt alone. Because I was your twin. Maybe I'm different. Maybe I'm a freak...I can't stop thinking about being chained up when I was a kid. It didn't feel like someone bad chained me up. It felt like I was the someone bad."

"Max, you're not dangerous."

"Saving people destroys me. But killing Noah? That felt good. I was high. And whenever I think about what he did to you, I want to chase that high. I wish I could kill him a thousand times. Louise mentioned the devil. Maybe something evil was chasing them. And maybe that something was me."

"Okay. I want to show you something. You see this hand on her shoulder there? See, Michael thought it was just someone who got cropped out of the photo, but no. Any female would recognize that body language. She does not want that hand on her. Louise said the devil would come. I think something evil was after them, but it wasn't you. I want to find out who it was."

Alex and Gregory:

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you before we go. I also feel like I should congratulate you on getting out."

"Of the Navy?"

"Of the family. Getting out from under Dad."

"You got to break free of him, man."

"Do you feel free?"

"I don't think I get to be free until you are, Alex. You know, you're my brother. I wish that I would've stood up for you more."

"You know, I think he's actually getting a little bit better. It's like the stroke melted away the psycho in his brain or something." 

"If you can forgive him you should. Cast off the stone. Let me hate him for you. I owe you that much."

Back at the trading post with the whole road trip group.

"We scoured the store for jewelry that said Tsela on it, but nada. Although I did manage to spend an entire week's worth of tips anyway."

"Tsela?"

"Yeah it was printed on the back of my grandmother's necklace. I thought I might find some answers here."

"Well, apparently, it is Navajo for star on the ground. So, you guys ready to go?"

"Star on the ground.  Maria? What year was your grandmother born?"

"Uh, '48, I think?"

"Was she adopted?"

"Yeah. Oh my God."

"Your grandmother was my sister."

Note: The direct translation of Tsela is stars lying down. Interestingly, it's often a name in Navajo. When I googled it, the top results were names for Navajo boys.

Diego and Liz's conversation:

"Diego, I never would have reached out if it weren't an emergency. Thank your mom for me."

"The Senator was more than happy to call in a favor. She's always liked you."

"I like her too. We need more people like her."

"Look, we got lucky your dad got out at all, much less without an ankle monitor. And you pissed a few people off back there, so it's not likely that this is the end for you. Who's your lawyer? Or should I make some calls?"

"No, you've done enough. After what I did, I can't even believe you listened to my voicemail...How did you get here so fast?"

"I was at the airport in Phoenix when you called. Just had to reroute real fast."

"And how have you been?"

"Well, my fiancée left me. I'm kidding. No, I'm seeing someone.  It's getting pretty serious, so…"

"Good. Me too."

"Good. We can be friends...And don't take this the wrong way. Please tell me you're not wasting that incredible brain of yours writing alien hamburger puns."

"I am working on a few projects. Nothing I can talk about, but, I'm not wasting anything."

"Well, all the coolest studies make you sign NDAs anyway, so…"

"You know what? There actually is something...Do you know what butyricol is?  Worth a shot. It's this chemical I found in my friend's tox screen. I had never heard of it."

"Maybe you're slacking, Ortecho."

"I am sorry, it has only been a year. Did you literally forget everything about me?"

Note: I'm very pleased to say that when I googled butyricol, half of the top results were RNM related.  Definitely not a real drug.

Malex fight in the bunker:

"We're closed!"

"Hey, that alien console piece that Jim Valenti left me...You still have it?"

"No. I sold it on eBay."

"You didn't attach it to your console."

"I tried. Doesn't fit."

"So, Tripp left this for my dad before he died. My dad thought it was a code, but this is a reference sketch of this exact piece. My dad's been looking for this thing for 30 years and Jim Valenti had it all along...I'm gonna give it to him. I want to see what he does with it once he's got it. Look, if it didn't fit in your console, then it fits somewhere else. My dad could lead us there.""Your dad hunts aliens, Alex. He'll lead my family right off a cliff."

"I've protected you so far. That's not changing. Besides, he's different these days...I don't trust him, Guerin. I just…I'm asking you to trust me.""When we were kids, you believed people were good, despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise. And, God, I loved you for it. But what was charming when we were 17, it's just stupid now. How do you not see that? You believe there's some good in your father?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do. God forbid I have faith in people who don't give me a good reason to."

"That's not fair."

"No? Why is your hand covered? You miss your injury because you want to hurt. Your anger made you feel safe. I will always hate my father for what he did to you, but I don't want to live in that toolshed for the rest of my life. I don't want to walk around thinking that people don't change, that one day everyone's just gonna let me down, 'cause I am not building a damn rocket ship in a hidden lair. There's one way for me off this planet. And I need to believe in a reason to stay. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"Can't let you leave with that."

"What are you gonna do? Fight me for it?"

And then Alex leaves and is kidnapped. Hit over the head by an unknown assailant. The note from Tripp blows away.

Max and Liz are talking back at Max's house while Max drinks a lot of bourbon.

"You know, you never told me why your parents immigrated here in the first place."

"My dad wanted a family, but not in Juárez. There was no opportunity, no money. Women were disappearing there all the time. He didn't want my mom to be one of them. So he fled. You're wondering why your family came here."

"If I even had a family. I know so little about my own story. And the parts I thought I understood are just unraveling."

"Max. Family is the one area where I am certain that biology does not matter. Look, when I found out that Rosa was only my half sister that didn't change anything."

"This is different...There are only three of us on this planet, as far as we know. I mean, feeling disconnected from them makes me feel completely alone."

"Completely alone? I'm right here."

"When you needed a rescue today your Mensa society, old money son of a senator ex was there to answer your prayers. I couldn't even answer a call. You didn't need me."

"Oh my God. Okay, so would you prefer that I did need you? Would you prefer to come home to find me crying into my dad's windbreaker so that you can swoop me up and drive me to El Paso for his deportation hearing in the morning?"

"That's not fair. You wanted me to talk about today."

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry. I want you to feel better."

"Well, you think maybe you could go back in time and not meet someone as handsome as Diego? Seriously. He's like if someone mixed a cologne ad with a Kennedy. It's ridiculous. I will never feel adequate again."

"You're wrong. Max, let me be clear. You are objectively better in bed...And I never woke up on a Sunday morning to him singing Hank Williams in the shower...He never snuck unreasonable tips into my dad's checks. Or quoted Henry the Fourth. Coming home to you at the end of my worst days and my best days is the only rescue I need."

I actually found this background on the Ortechos to be fascinating.  In case you don't know Juárez is a pretty big city directly opposite the border from El Paso. It does have some huge crime issues. But it also is one of those border cities where the border is a little thinner. Like San Diego and Tijuana.  People live in Juárez and work in El Paso and vice versa.

If you want to see a really dark & gritty portrayal of Juárez, I'd highly recommend you to check out the American version of the show The Bridge.  Which literally deals with an investigation related to disappearing women.

Isobel and Maria at the Pony:

"She looks so determined."

"Yeah, neither of us would be here if she hadn't been. You know she was paralyzed 50 years and she still managed to use her powers to help ease troubled minds. You know how hard that is? To take on someone else's suffering? I mean, it doesn't just disappear. She would have been carrying all of that."

"She suffered so much loss."

"I don't know how to be worth it."

Michael on the bracelet.

"The beads are made with pollen from the alien flower. I found another plant growing at Louise's grave. Okay my working theory is that they grow from alien remains. There's this UFO lore about that Libyan desert where the flowers have been discovered before. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I know better than to think I can save Maria DeLuca. I hope you decide you can save yourself."

Max is still drinking after Liz went to bed.  At 4:04am Diego calls and wakes her up. 

"I made a call, about that toxin in your friend's system. Butyricol. It's a drug. It's a memory eraser. It was developed by a private organization and purchased by the military for weaponization. There's no approved application outside of violent combat."

Liz tries to call Alex, but he's too busy being unconscious in the back of his SUV.  So his kidnapper pockets his phone.

Max has a memory flash. There's fighting, weapons clashing, a woman's voice...all while he's chained down in the cave. Louise appears and kneels down to touch his shoulder.  He looks afraid, but she's trying to comfort him (even though she has blood splattered all over her white clothes). She smiles and nods and then cuts Max free of the chains with her alien weapon. She offers him her hand, but before he can take it a figure in white appears and he and Louise fight. Max cries out and hides his face.

Present day Max is visibly shook by the flash.

MUSIC:

1.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

2.  Powerslide "Just You And I"

3.  Will Fox "Against The Tide"

4.  Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"

[marlaluster]

The scoop on the magically changing 'knowledge panel' for fashion model Gisele Bündchen...

Here is a screenshot of the Google search result page that comes up from Googling the name "Gisele Bündchen." The reason I'm sharing the screenshot is to draw attention to that the "knowledge panel" on Bündchen is missing the "Spouse" information. That information being missing suggests an individual has no spouse or fiance, but Bündchen is supposedly presently married to Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady, one of my soulmates in another world.

As of the writing of this post Saturday morning, the "knowledge panel" still looks like it does in this screenshot.

Recently, I have seen the search results page show "Tom Brady" as Bündchen's "Spouse." But not when I checked yesterday or this morning. Other times, like in the past month or so, I have seen the "knowledge panel" for Bündchen include "Partner: Leonardo DiCaprio," but the devil changed it before it I could get a screenshot of it.

One day recently when I was going to finally get a screenshot of the "knowledge panel" showing DiCaprio listed as Bündchen's partner, the devil made the panel show Brady as the "Spouse."

"I did that. Uh I don't wish this told, that it was changed because you were going to get a screenshot, but that is what I did. Bye," the devil said.

I think I was not feeling eager to get a screenshot of the "knowledge panel" listing DiCaprio as a partner because I remembered even years ago like around 2015 or 2016 seeing DiCaprio listed as a partner for Bündchen in the "knowledge panel." Previously, I thought DiCaprio being listed as a partner for Bündchen was a let down because Bündchen continued to occur to be married to Brady in this false reality. I had thought the erroneous "knowledge panel" could mean the couple would divorce or something.

Another reason I probably didn't try sooner to get a screenshot of DiCaprio being listed as a partner was that my soulmates -- through my eyes -- and I were seeing lots of things around mid to late July that looked like the end of the world and we just weren't reporting on it anywhere. It seemed we didn't need to report on it because the world seemed it was going to end soon.

It seems there is some issue behind Bündchen having inconsist information or magically changing information on the star's "knowledge panel."

I don't see incorrect or changing information on any other celebrities' "knowledge panel."

"Um, no one else is to notice that. But it is something that uh reflects that she is not who she is, meaning she is someone other than who she appears. No more," the devil said of Bündchen's changing "knowledge panel."

It seems the issue with the magically changing panel would be something more specific, like that Bündchen is not to seemingly truthfully be married to Brady.

What about the issue of Gisele seemingly not supposing to be with Tom Brady here being the reason for the magically changing "knowledge panel"? I asked the devil.

"That's not true. But maybe it is," the devil said.

"She is not to be with him here is what it says," my soulmates said in my mind about the panel for Bündchen.

Speaking of Gisele and Tom and their supposed relationship, it seems the supposed couple is presently facing some trouble, much to my and my soulmates' delight. I read yesterday that the couple is having a huge disagreement lately over Brady continuing to play football rather than retire as it seems he started to in March of this year, according to news outlets.

The devil has told me previously that Tom could not retire because his playing football reflects that he is enslaved to being married to Bündchen, so unless he is able to be free of Bündchen, he is not able to be free of playing football.

"Uh that is something like the situation. He couldn't retire because he is still is not less, but is less," the devil said. "I wouldn't really wish this told. I told Marla because I don't know what to do about the people not going on, but having to go on and they can't. No more," the devil said.

Another thing the devil said yesterday about the celebrity couple is that Brady and Bündchen could get a divorce.

"That was said. Not by me, but by Brady in another lane or plane. No more," the devil said.

As I wrote the detail about a potential divorce, the devil said that my writing here was affecting news outlets in this false reality, making it so that news outlets were to be reporting more true things that otherwise would not be told here.

"They are competing not but faced with there being information told that is not to be told. Uh it's not to be said that they are to be getting a divorce or that her page is messed up on Google results. No more," the devil said.

By the way, the Wikipedia article for Bündchen lists Brady as her spouse, even though the "knowledge panel" that surfaces in a Google search for the name of the model is inconsistent when it comes to listing the spouse (or partner) for Bündchen.

Later after I first posted this post, the devil said the "knowledge panel" not listing Brady as Bündchen's spouse was a result of Bündchen being exposed somehow as who was acting like Brady was her spouse when he was not.

"It just means I'm out as who is acting like things are true that are not," the devil said of the "knowledge panel" to be missing the spouse information for Bündchen.

As I wrote another post, the devil commented further on the shenanigans on the "knowledge panel" for Bündchen.

"I am saying that. I am not allowed to act like they are really married. That is why the 'knowledge panel' says what it says. Then, uh years ago and now it has no spouse listed because I cannot say she is his spouse. It is magic. It is not manually done here, nothing is manually done, even though I pretend it is. So uh that's that," the devil said.

The "knowledge panel" for Brady lists Bündchen as his spouse.

After I first posted this post, the devil said more about the "knowledge panel." He said he wasn't able to list Brady as Bündchen's spouse again like he did another time recently when I saw Brady listed as the model's spouse on the "knowledge panel."

The devil said Bündchen was "less" for not having Brady listed as her spouse on the "knowledge panel."

"I'm very less as her that I can't have that. I try to do it, but... I can't. Something makes it where it won't work," the devil said.

The devil said he would try to make others notice the "knowledge panel" now, but if he did do an old article or anything on it, something else would have to be sacrificed. Something has to apparently tell the truth here. This "knowledge panel" error is telling something of the truth in this false reality, which is that somehow Brady isn't to occur here as married to Bündchen.

"That is what it is. She is um not who he is," the devil said, saying something misleading it seems. Other soulmates of mine are married to people who are not themselves and they don't have a changing "knowledge panel."

"I have something. Who is her spouse? Brady? It won't be for long," my soulmates' and my true reality said in my mind.

We'll see how things unfold...

Here are links to the Google search results page for Bündchen and a couple of articles (from Page Six and The New York Post) I read yesterday about Bündchen and Brady having a fight, which is still ongoing apparently today, according to news articles...

[pbandjesse]

Today has been a steller day. Its raining outside and I just feel really cozy and good. And I get to go home tomorrow!! Im really happy.

I slept okay last night. I didnt want to get up. But James was up already and we both had to go to work. I went and got dressed. My hair was bad because of the humidity. But i still felt cute.

James left and I finished getting myself together. It was raining but only a little. I put on a rain coat and headed out. I went to mcdonalds and had breakfast. And got to work right on time.

I was mostly training today. I got to learn about game making and the group was really sweet. A Jewish school and the kids taught me some words in Hebrew. It was neat.

Half way through the class I got a phone call. I missed the call but he texted me right away. I called him back but he didn't pick up. So I texted him and then he called me again. And it was Marshall's manager from the actual teaching position. And he offered me the job. They got the funding. I'm so excited. It just like all feels like it's settled in side of me that everything is okay. Like this is what was supposed to happen. So I just got to be like wildly excited but very soft way if that makes sense. Like I don't feel jumping around the room excited. But I feel like yes this is what was going to happen.

I went back to the class and told to other girls I was teaching with and they were so excited for me. I emailed my manager there to let him know that my schedule will change again. And going forward I'm going to be working at the BMI Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday mornings. Feels nice to have and idea of where my schedule will be.

Today was also really good there because I got to see my embroideries in the shop for the first. And that was really cool to see. There are three of them there and I took some pictures of it so that James can put them on the Etsy Instagram. All of my coworkers are also really supportive about it.

The rest of the day there was good. I got to assist with the balloon powered car project. And then I got to lead one. I still have trouble getting the class to hear me in that big room. But all the kids were very sweet and we actually got more done in my class then we had in the one I shadowed. So that was nice.

Once the kids were gone I didn't really know what to do with myself. There wasn't really much supplies to be done. I had my salad. And then I cut some straws and then I left. So I actually had time to come home before my planned interview with the Walters today.

I got back here at like 2:15. And I made a hot dog. I was so overheated. So I fix my makeup and try to cool off. I'm really glad I ate. And then I walked over to the coffee shop.

I never been in the shop before because it looks really really fancy from the outside. But the prices are actually very reasonable and I think I'll definitely go back. They have lots of vegetarian food on their menu. I knew I was meeting with Annie but I didn't exactly remember if she was the blond woman I talked to you before. So I Googled her and I found her LinkedIn profile. Turns out yes she was exactly what I thought she was. And then she walked in the door not long after that.

I was straight up with her. I had got a job today. She bought me an iced tea. And we talked. We talked about art and my background. My passions. Things I love to do and the things I love to share with other people. We looked at some of my art. And I showed her the video of me firing the cannon. She asked me a million questions about working on historic ships. And honestly I would love working with her. But I'm just so busy. And now that I have this other job plus I've moved historic ships just to the weekend. She kind of was like let's just keep an open conversation about me possibly coming on at some point. And I felt good about that but then I asked what day of the week would be best for her. And she said Saturday or Sunday. And I said I can work with that. So right now if I do get an offer from them. Or a second more formal interview. I'm going to ask historic ships to add me scheduled Fridays and Saturdays. Including a Saturday overnight. And then I will work at the Walters a couple Sundays a month. I'm going to try my best to always have that one weekend a month off so that I don't die. Or just get burned out. But I really think it's important that I get into the Walters. And maybe at some point all transition more over to there. She said some really really nice things about my passion for programming. And she really thought that that was something I should do. That it's not as scary as I have built it up to be. And that She understands where I'm coming from with my insecurities about it. About being in charge. But she made me feel very confident.

I left an interview with really good feelings. I was so jazzed. And I came home and felt really really good. I talked to Dad for a while. And then I went and worked in my studio. I'm almost done my diorama for this week. I'm actually going to go down and paint a few more things that should be dry now. Cuz I really need to be done tonight. There isn't going to be a lot of time to do it tomorrow.

I vacuumed and hung out. James came to give me hugs and congratulations. He picked up his laundry in his bag. And he headed back home. And I've just been chilling since then. I took a shower and wash my hair. I've made sure that my bag was all the way packed. And it's really just been a really nice night.

I'm working historic ships tomorrow but it's a weird shift. I'm only working till 1. But I think that's fine. It actually works out really well for me because the new job wants me to come in to sign paperwork. He hasn't sent me an email yet to tell me when I'm supposed to come in. So I'm going to email him in the morning if I don't hear from him. He said around 2. But he also said somewhere between 2 and 4. So I'm not entirely sure which end of that Spectrum. But it'll be really good practice from getting downtown over there. And then around 6 me and James are heading to Philadelphia. Us. So that'll be good with me and not here alone for 4 days. I'm really excited for this whole weekend. I think it's going to be really nice. Even if James is very nervous about meeting my parents again.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep well. Stay dry out there. And have a nice day tomorrow

[nadineresearchdesign]

Week 7 SDL

Bulletpoints

Wonder Woman, feminist Icon? Queer icon? No, love icon

Article by Phil Jimenez 2018

The American Wartime Propaganda During World War II: How Comic Books Sold the War. 2019

https://librarysearch.aut.ac.nz/vufind/EdsRecord/edo,138583516

The Philippine "Komiks": Text as Containment 1997

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Questions for da: Interview with my dad

What was your favourite comic growing up? Filipino komiks- Darna but I forgot the story line. This was a long time ago. I’m not sure if I read it but I used to watch the tv series back in the Philippines. I remember one other comic but it wasn’t superhero related - it was more drama based. I was a kid back then so I don’t remember but that was what our source of entertainment back then. We mostly just play outside -“harangan at taga” (street games)

How much were comics back then? 2 pesos ata or 1 peso. I forgot. There weren’t computers back then.

Do you know much about what happened in WWII? No but my grandmas told me that the “hapon” (Japanese military) would take the women from our streets then they would use them for "comfort" and they would behead the women’s heads and parade them on the street to scare the people away. But I’m sure you can find stuff about this on google.

What did you learn from nanay? This is what lola said. (Referring to the question above) Your lola (grandma) told me about it you can ask her more because she was alive during that time.

What was it like living in the Philippines in the 70’s - I was just a kid back then; that’s when I was a baby. The houses were minimal and small back then. There was a lot of trees and we were still able to swim at the streams because the water was still clean back then. If you wanted a fruit you could just climb a tree. We would have Picnics at the rice Fields. When the 80’s came the pollution started to become worse “ligo kami sa ilog” “laro sa daan”

What was rhe comic trend back then? I forgot but I’m trying to remember because we used to read a lot when we went out at the rice fields

Did you read? Yes “tinanong mo na yan” Comics nga. Ah! I read horror comics back then but I forgot the names. I would always follow along the story of those types of comics. But when I became I Christian I gradually stopped reading because there was a lot of activities to do . When I was 7 your grandpa would leave me alone so I’d go play with my cousins outside on the street “sulok”

Reflection #1

After having a chat with my dad I found out a lot about his life back then even though he had trouble remembering the tiny details. He wasn't born in the 40's but my grandma was so he told me the stories that my grandma talked to him about. It was disturbing to hear about and heartbreaking. The info on the comfort women that were killed could help me to research bigger topics like feminism and women empowerment which is seen in Filipino Komiks. Some things I found out about my era of choice was that comics were cheap back then and that there are a lot of details about what the Japanese Empire did that didn't make it on the web.

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This is the Philippines in the 1940s before WW2 - Panda Classic TV

This documentary film is made by the U.S. Army for the trainees going to the Philippines. It showcases how the Philippines was a Modern and Civilised Society before the war.

Reflection #2

This documentary shows the perspective of the Americans towards the Philippines back then. Calling it an "American City." - stating it as if the Philippines belonged to them. This piece of information and the documentary itself relates to my topic of Americanization in the Philippines through comics because it tells me not only what my country used to be like before the war but how other people's perspectives were like towards my country.

[skaihedaofthe100]

"Xenos" series

Chapter 2.Not alone

description: "Xenos" from the Ancient Greek "stranger, foreigner". Xenia Kane and the other 99 delinquents are strangers for everyone who managed to survive on the Earth. Her story has just started. Enjoy

We've been hiking for "years" now. Yes, after being able to walk not more than 6 meters in your cell for a long time a few hours seem like years to me. It is also really hot here and all I'm thinking about is finding a lake or something. Fortunately, Octavia announces that she's noticed water in the distance and I see Fin grinning at me. Smiling back I try to remember the number of times we both have been talking in the skybox how it'd feel like to jump in a cool river. Five seconds later our party is near it with Octavia hurrying to take of her pants and step in the water. I don't waste time following her despite the shocked looks on Clarke's and boys' faces. Hey, don't judge me! There was nothing to do in the cell except reading books which Finn somehow managed to get me from time to time. So the only thing that distracted me from boredom was training and now I'm happy I've been doing it. O waits for me and we jump together in the river and God, it feels SO GOOD! For the moment I forget that we've never learnt how to swim and probably will drown right now but then realize that the water is not as deep as it seems and my friend and I can stand here. My eyes meet Jasper's but there is no excitement about finally having a swim in them. Instead he cautiously looks in the distance and the second later I can hear him crying for us to get out from the water. "Get out? Is he serious right now? I haven't spent here even a minute",- I think.

-Leave the river now if you don't want to be killed! - the boy repeats -Why haven't you told about being killed before?!- I cry now trying to get my ass out of the river as fast as I can. In the corner of my eye there is Octavia who is not hurrying as much as me and turning to look at the creature. -Damn it, Octavia! Move!- I plead but it is too late. The monster catches her and I see the girl being taken by it in the depth of the river. Cursing I splash the water loudly to distract the creature from her. I swear, putting others' life over mine can eventually kill me. But what do we say to death?-Not today. O is free now and while something is moving in my direction Jasper manages to take her out of the water. -Not today, not today,- I try to calm myself down being already able to feel big teeth touching my leg when a big rock is thrown right in front of me which makes the creature swim away and never come back, I hope. There are Finn and Clarke standing on the log behind ready to throw stones again if the river monster will show up. Only after feeling firm land under me I'm able to relax. The blonde girl is already near examining my leg. -Just a few scratches, nothing bad. I can't say it about Octavia, though,- she informs me. -Thank you for saving my life anyway, Nia,- the younger Blake says and suddenly her hands wrap around me. Huh, that was unexpected. I haven't hugged anyone except Finn for a long time. But it is never too late to start, isn't it? The next moment I'm hugging her back. Let's skip the story of how our party have been searching for a good place to sleep and not finding one deciding to simply lay down on the ground. The next morning I wake up because of Finn's snoring near my ear. Ew. Now there is no chance I'll continue my sleep so I start to shake everyone saying it is time to get up. Huh, these teens didn't know Kane girl could be that cruel threatening to splash cool water on them if they won't listen to her words.

Finally everyone is ready to go. Walking, I start feeling hungry and blame myself for being such a fussy eater and skipping my breakfast back on the ark yesterday even if it was disgusting as always. I guess the others are hungry too because they also don't seem to be in the right mood to talk and joke. Two or three hours later we reach a cliff with a river under it and that cheers us up a little bit 'cause my friends and I are exited about crossing the boundary on lianas. Who won't be? -Wanna be the first one?- I ask Finn. Maybe I'll never admit it but I don't know what could I do without my friend who has always been the one to encourage me to do crazy things. With him we've often pranked the guards and other young criminals and even nearly sneaked out from our space jail once. Well, this is why I've spend a couple of weeks in solitary. What can I say, it was definitely worth it! -As you wish, Commander,- Finn's answer causes me to give the boy a "Really?" look. -Wait, Finn, let me be the first one,- Jasper interrupts us looking at Octavia in the distance. Of course we understand the reason of such courage and step away. -Hell yeah, Googles!- I cry along with the others when the boy crosses the river. -We are Apogee!!- he yells in excitement while picking a piece of metallic sign which says "Mount Weather", I guess. My arm is already holding the liana when suddenly a large spear hits Jasper's body causing him to fly a few meters back. I immediately fell on the ground pushing shocked O down as well. God, will she ever start reacting quicker?

-We should run, -Finn whispers to us -But what about Jasper?- Monty and I ask at the same time looking at him lying there and not moving -We will figure something out and now run, run, run, - the boy answers us pushing me forward. There is nothing I can do to help Googles right now so I run as fast as I can not bothering to stop and breath properly till we reach the camp. There is a fight or something like this in its center and Clarke is heading that way crying someone to stop but I don't follow her. Enough troubles for today. Yet, I need some strength to go after Jasper so my decision is to have a rest on the log near injured Octavia. I hear the blonde girl and Bellamy arguing about taking of the bracelets and look at mine. Still working. Still showing my dad up there that I'm alright. I wonder does he even care about my state and think about taking it of too but remembering other people on the Ark I decide to keep the "accessory". -Octavia, you okay?,- suddenly there is the older Blake near us.- I told you to stay out of trouble, do you remember it? O and I both don't say anything. My friend perhaps 'cause she feels guilty while my reason is that I'll probably cough all my burning lungs out. I've never ran so quickly and long in my life.

-The things could be worse if Nia didn't distract the creature that had caught your sister,- Clarke decides to add and I see Bellamy looking up from O's injury to me. -And are you hurt?- he asks and after I show him a few scratches on my leg thanks me with a respectful look. -By the way, you have to search for Jasper with us,- Griffin says when Bellamy's sister is taken to the dropship by a boy named Atom. -And why would I?,- O's brother disagrees -They say you have a gun and plus...,- Clarke adds something else but I no longer listen to her. All my thoughts are about a gun. You know, my father's guard friends used to teach me how to shoot and (I don't want to boast) I was pretty good at it. -Show me,- is all I say to Blake and instead of just taking it in hands he lifts his T-shirt. Huh, he could took of all his clothes if he wanted to show off his body properly. -Murphy, you are coming with me,- the guy orders I roll up my eyes. Seriously? Why him? Guess who will spend the rest of the day in the best company ever? Lucky Kane! -Yay!- I cheer with sarcasm hearing Clarke with Bellamy scoff and add "Let's go. And NO FIGHTS without us" louder. Well, I'm a little bit power-hungry, what can I say.

-You heard the Commander! We'll try to be back by the dark now go back to minding your business,- I glance at Blake and see that he looks serious while speaking, there are also delinquents around us nodding in agreement. Wow, how did I manage to get some authority down here? I like it! The only thing that bothers me is that now everyone knows the nickname and I wanna go by my real name. Now we are heading in the woods. Again.