#She stated they didn't need all of that — Morgan wasn't even one years old back then | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fatecantstopme · 2 years ago

Text

Undercover

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: You've gotta go undercover for a case...with the last person on earth you'd ever wanna go with.

Warnings: Angst. Cursing. Use of pet names. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, praise kink, sir kink, light choking kink. Mentions of murder. Little bit of fluffy fluff at the end.

A/N: Haley doesn't exist in this story, just FYI.

"So we need two people to go undercover," Rossi said.

"Count me out," Emily said, throwing her hands in the air. "This unsub creeps me out too much. I have no interest in playing his game."

Rossi looked at you and you groaned. "Oh come on."

"You're the only other option, (Y/N)," he insisted.

You looked over at JJ and she shrugged uncomfortably. "Don't look at me, I'm just the media liaison."

"Fine, I'll do it, but only if I can take Morgan with me."

Morgan grinned. "Hell, yeah. I'm in."

Garcia cut in, "Sorry, hot stuff--as much as I'd love to see you go undercover in a tux, you don't exactly fit the required profile."

You looked at Spence hopefully, but he shook his head. "Sorry, (Y/N/N), I'm too young for this one."

You groaned. "Well what's wrong with Morgan?"

"The group the unsub belongs to is very exclusive--if you're not white, you're not getting in," Hotch answered.

You bristled slightly at your boss's interjection. He wasn't wrong and you knew it, but every time he spoke you couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"Fine," you conceded. "Looks like I'm taking Rossi."

Rossi laughed. "Come on, (Y/N). You know I'm too old for this one."

The room fell silent as the realization dawned on every single person in the room, yourself included. Shit, shit, shit.

"It has to be Hotch," Rossi stated.

Even Hotch looked slightly surprised. "I haven't gone undercover in quite a while."

"Better figure it out because you're the only option," you grumbled.

Hotch sent you a glare, but didn't bother to reply to your statement. "When's this party happening?"

"Saturday night," Garcia answered.

"That's two days to prepare," Emily stated. "Should be plenty."

You sighed loudly, but nodded your agreement.

"Good. Let's get started," Hotch said.

The room immediately began to clear out, the rest of the team going back to their desks to work. You stayed behind, which didn't go unnoticed by Rossi.

"I know it's not ideal, but it's the best way to draw out the unsub," Rossi said gently as he sat down beside you.

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. "He hates me, Rossi, and to be honest, I'm not his biggest fan either. But you want us to pretend to love each other in front of a bunch of strangers? For hours on end?"

Rossi patted your arm. "I know, kiddo, but he's not that bad. It'll be okay."

You stared at him in silence for a moment. "The man never looks at me unless it's a glare. He looks annoyed every time I dare to speak in his presence, especially if it's directed at him. There's no way we're going to be able to pretend to even like each other, Rossi."

"I'll talk to him, okay? But you both need to be the professionals I know you are. It's not about either of you...it's about all the girls this man has murdered."

You sighed lightly. "You're right, you're right--as always. I'll behave, I promise."

Rossi smiled. "That'a girl. I'll talk to Hotch."

You nodded. "Be mean if you have to."

"(Y/N)," Rossi warned with a chuckle as he left the conference room.

It's not that you hated Hotch or anything like that. Hell, you actually found him incredibly attractive--it was his attitude you couldn't stand. He wasn't always rude to you, he was almost friendly when you'd joined the team a couple years prior. A couple months in and he started to act differently. You had no idea what you'd done to him to make him hate you, but it pissed you off to no end.

Hotch wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy with anyone, but he was downright hostile with you. He went out of his way to avoid you when he could, and acted like a sullen child when he couldn't. He always paired you up with someone else on cases, to the point where you'd actually never worked with him alone one-on-one.

You grabbed your notebook and headed back to your desk.

"Hey, you okay?" Emily asked you softly when you sat down in front of her.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just gotta figure out how to make sure we don't kill each other in public."

She chuckled. "You're not going to kill each other."

You raised your eyebrow. "Sure--it'll be great."

"You'll be fine," she insisted. "So you wanna go shopping later?"

You nodded. "I've gotta find something to wear to this damn thing. Invite JJ and Garcia too. I need opinions. If I've gotta dress up, I wanna at least look hot."

Emily laughed. "Girl please--you always look hot."

"Thank you, thank you," you said with a mock bow.

"(Y/L/N)," Hotch yelled from his office. "My office. Now."

You closed your eyes and sighed before getting up and heading to the office. You made eye contact with Rossi as he walked back to his own office. He gave you a soft smile and a subtle thumbs up...but you couldn't help but feel nervous as hell.

"Sir?" you asked as you entered his office.

"Close the door," he said without looking at you.

You closed the door and waited silently for him to speak.

"Are you going to sit or just stand there awkwardly?"

"Standing closer to the door gives me a better escape route," you said stubbornly.

Hotch huffed in annoyance. "You're being childish. Sit down."

"Is that an order, sir?"

His body tensed and he clenched his jaw as he gestured to the seat in front of him.

You sat down and crossed your arms, silence stretching out between you.

After an entire minute of silence, you couldn't take it anymore. "I'm assuming you called me in here for a reason?"

"I did." Hotch's gaze finally landed on you. "We need to discuss this op."

"What about it?"

Hotch raised his eyebrows. "How about your reaction when Rossi said we'd be going undercover together?"

"Can you blame me, Hotch? We have to pretend to be romantically involved--but we can barely be in each other's presence without animosity."

"We're professionals, (Y/L/N)."

"May I speak freely, sir?"

"As if you don't already."

"I'm going to take that as a yes," you began. "You don't act like a professional, Hotch. You act like I'm an actual burden to you--like you despise me so much that merely being in my presence makes you angry. You can't even look at me without glaring and you almost never speak to me unless you have to. Can you see why I wouldn't exactly be thrilled about going undercover with you?"

To your surprise, Hotch looked almost hurt by your words. But that quickly turned back to annoyance--maybe even anger. "Can you really blame me? You're not exactly pleasant to be around," he said harshly.

It was your turn to be hurt--and unlike him, you couldn't hide it. You stood up and walked to the door.

"I didn't dismiss you."

You didn't even bother to look back at him. "This conversation is definitely over." You walked out the office door and straight out to the bank of elevators in the hall. You ignored the voices of your teammates calling your name. You just needed to get out of there--you needed air.

Instead of going down, you went up, making your way out to the roof. It was your go-to place to think, and lord knew you needed to think in peace.

You were angry and you needed a moment away from everyone else to calm down--otherwise, you might say something you'll regret. This was one of those moments where you questioned your life choices...and how much you really wanted to keep working at the BAU.

It was your dream job and you loved your team more than anything, but working with Hotch was slowly killing you. You hated the way he made you feel, but more importantly you hated the side of you he brought out. You just didn't like yourself when you were around him.

It hadn't always been that way. When you'd first started, Hotch had actually been nice to you--you might even say he was sweet. You felt accepted by the entire team, your boss included. You just didn't know what had changed. Somehow he was getting even worse and that attitude was pushing you to your limits.

You knew you had to get through this case and deal with the undercover part--the lives of an untold number of girls relied on it. But after that, you really needed to think about what your future was going to look like.

**********

Somehow, you made it through the rest of the day without losing your mind. You and the girls were now out shopping for the perfect dress for this op.

"Okay so I grabbed 15 different dresses in your size," Garcia said with a massive grin when you, Emily, and JJ walked into the store.

"You only got here 10 minutes before us!" you exclaimed.

Garcia just kept smiling. "I excel at speed shopping."

You laughed as she dragged you to the back of the store, the other two following behind you. You went into the dressing room to try on the dresses. Garcia had pulled various styles and colors, some of which were absolutely not your style at all, so you avoided trying those on.

The first dress you put on was just a basic little black dress. You stepped out of the dressing room to let the girls see it.

"Ohh an LBD. Okay," Emily said. "Spin please."

You spun with a chuckle. "What do we think?"

"Hmm. We can do better," Garcia said. "Next!"

You switched into a different black dress, longer this time, but perhaps a little more revealing in the bodice than you'd prefer.

"Ow-ow!" JJ cat called you as you stepped out.

Emily clapped and Garcia let out a little gasp.

"I think it might be a little...much," you said lightly.

Emily laughed. "The girls are coming out to say hi."

"Yeah, I'm gonna try another one."

The next couple dresses you tried on just didn't really speak to you, despite the reactions of your friends. You finally reached a dress that you thought looked nice on the hanger, but you weren't quite sure how it would look on you.

It was a deep emerald green dress in a silky fabric. It was very simply designed, v-necked with thin straps, floor length, with a thigh-high split up one side.

When you put it on, you let out a little gasp as you looked in the mirror. Even with minimal makeup, messy hair, and no shoes, you thought you looked incredible.

"Was that a gasp I just heard?" Garcia asked.

"Maybe," you said with a chuckle as you stepped out of the dressing room.

"Holy shit," Emily mumbled.

"That's the one," JJ said, eyes wide.

"I second that," Garcia agreed.

"You think so?" you asked, timidly.

"Girl, please. You look hot as hell," Emily insisted. "Hotch is probably going to pass out when he sees you."

You laughed. "He won't even notice, Em. You know he doesn't look at me."

"He's a man, (Y/N). He'd have to be blind not to."

"She's right, ya know," JJ said.

"Well I can't say that I wouldn't love to see Hotch fall flat on his face," you said lightly.

"I don't know why you're always so mean to each other," Garcia said with a frown.

"Oh please--he started it," you insisted.

"Hmm," she hummed. "I suppose."

"Enough talk about Hotch. Go change so we can buy that sexy dress and get dinner," Emily cut in.

"Tacos?" you asked.

"Obviously," she agreed.

**********

The next day was spent in the office, preparing for the op the next night. As always, Hotch was moody and distant, but he did try not to snap at you very much.

He wouldn't admit it, but Rossi's words from the day before, as well as your rightful anger, had been weighing on him all night. He didn't mean to be an asshole--well, yes he did. But he didn't want to be. It was self-preservation. He knew what would happen if he was nice to you...the first few weeks of your time in the BAU had given insight into that.

"Hotch," your voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"What?" he asked.

You sighed. "You weren't listening, were you?"

He winced. "Sorry."

A look of surprise ghosted across your face. You were certain that was the first and only time he'd ever apologized to you. You shook your head to clear it and repeated your earlier statement. "Somehow these guys are rich enough to actually rent out an entire hotel for a weekend. The event itself is in the hotel ballroom and each of the 'couples' in attendance will have their own rooms, us included. Garcia managed to secure us a room."

"What do we need a hotel room for?" Hotch asked.

You sighed. "I'm not going to explain that one, Hotchner."

Before Hotch could snap at you, Rossi cut in. "The hotel rooms are used for the various interactions between the couples. Each couple is required to have a room in order to participate in the event."

"Besides," Reid continued, "we need the two of you to convince the unsub to come up to your room for (Y/N)."

You winced, a look of disgust covering your face.

"Sorry, (Y/N/N)," Reid said sheepishly.

"It's not your fault the unsub is so sick," you reassured him.

This particular unsub was part of an exclusive group of people who 'traded' women amongst each other for various fees dependent upon what the purchaser wanted the woman for. The unsub would purchase a girl to keep, and eventually murder in a horrifically sadistic and brutal manner.

Essentially, Hotch would be operating as your current 'owner', but once you'd identified the unsub, he'd offer you to him for a sordid fee. You didn't like the concept of any of this, but you wanted to catch this guy so badly.

After a few more hours of planning, it was time to wrap things up and get ready for tomorrow. You were meeting the team at a nearby hotel to get ready and it's where they would be setting up. You and Hotch would depart from there and go directly to the hotel with the event.

**********

At 4:30 the next day, you arrived at the hotel the team was setting up at. Most of the team was already there, the only one missing was Hotch.

"How you feeling, (Y/N)?" Emily asked softly. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be, Em."

"Thanks for showing up," Morgan teased as Hotch walked into the hotel room.

"Shut it, Morgan. I couldn't find my tux."

'Tux?' you mouthed at Emily.

She shrugged. "Guess he wanted to match your level of class," she whispered.

"Actually, tuxes are required," Reid interjected.

"Ahh," you said with a nod.

Emily chuckled lightly and grabbed your arm, pulling you towards the bathroom. She gestured to JJ and Garcia to come along. She shut the door behind you all and you jumped up on the bathroom counter.

"Make me pretty," you joked.

"Girl please. You're already gorgeous. We're just accentuating it," Garcia stated with a smile.

"I love you," you said warmly as you pulled her into a hug. "But seriously, who's gonna fix my hair? I look crazy."

JJ laughed. "I'll take the hair. Garcia's gonna handle your makeup and Emily is here for comic relief/emotional support."

The girls got to work on styling your hair and doing your makeup, chatting and laughing together as if you weren't about to go undercover in a freaking lion's den.

While you and the girls were getting ready in the bathroom, the guys were talking over things in the bedroom.

Hotch needed maybe 10 minutes to get changed, so he had some time to kill before he needed to get ready. That time wasn't really a beneficial thing. It allowed him time to think about all kinds of things he really shouldn't be thinking about.

The event was starting at 7, so you needed to be at the other hotel by 6:30 to check into your room. At 6, the girls popped out of the bathroom, leaving you on the other side of the door.

Garcia cleared her throat to get the rest of the team's attention. Everyone turned to face her and she dramatically gestured to the bathroom door. "Presenting the beautiful, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

Emily swung the door open and you stepped out into the main room. Everyone was silent as they took in your look. You felt slightly uncomfortable under their gazes, despite being a very confident woman.

"Damn, girl," Morgan breathed out, the first one to recover.

"She looks great, doesn't she?" Garcia said excitedly.

"She really does," Hotch said softly without realizing it.

Everyone turned to look at him in surprise, but none were as surprised as you. Your eyes met his and you inhaled sharply, breath catching in your chest.

Hotch realized he'd spoken out loud, only because of the look on your face. A dark blush crept into his cheeks and he averted his gaze.

"Thanks, guys," you said softly, taking the attention away from Hotch.

He lifted his gaze back up to you, completely unable to keep his eyes off of you. You looked even more beautiful than usual and you absolutely took his breath away.

You looked back over at Hotch while ignoring the chatter of the rest of the team as they gushed over your look. Your heart was racing so quickly, you were slightly worried someone would be able to hear the pounding.

You'd never seen Hotch look at you the way he was looking at you in this moment. You felt almost small under his gaze and if you didn't think it sounded insane, you would say he almost looked hungry as he gazed at you.

"I guess I should change too," Hotch said lightly, eyes not quite meeting yours.

"Oh, right." You stepped out of the way so he could go into the bathroom to change into his tux. You walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, suddenly feeling a bit faint.

JJ noticed immediately and came over to sit beside you. "You okay?" she murmured.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a little nervous," you lied smoothly.

It was obvious she didn't believe you, but she didn't say anything. She simply wrapped her arm around you and pulled you into a side hug. It was just what you needed to feel grounded.

After several minutes, Hotch came out of the bathroom wearing a very well-fitted black tux. Much in the same way he looked at you in shock when you came out, your eyes widened as you took him in.

"You clean up nice," Rossi teased.

"Yeah, yeah," Hotch muttered. He looked up at you, eyes not quite meeting yours. "Should we head out?"

You nodded and stood up, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the night ahead.

"We'll be close by if you need us," Rossi assured you both as you started out the door. "Garcia will be monitoring the cameras in the ballroom."

You nodded again as Hotch opened the door and gestured for you to go first. "We've got this," he said firmly.

The ride to the other hotel was silent...and not the comfortable kind. You hated it, but you couldn't think of a single thing to say, and apparently neither could he.

When you arrived at the hotel, Hotch handed the keys to the valet, took your arm as you got out of the car, and guided you into the hotel lobby.

"Good evening, sir," the front desk lady said. "May I have your last name please?"

"Carter," Hotch said smoothly.

The woman checked the computer and offered the two of you a smile. "Your room is on the 7th floor," she handed Hotch the room keys before continuing, "elevators are to your left. Please let us know if there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant."

"Thank you very much," Hotch responded.

Once the two of you made it to the room, you separated from each other as if your skin burned. You made quick work of searching the room for cameras and/or listening devices. Finding none, you finally relaxed a little and spoke to each other.

"Call Rossi," you said. "We're a go."

Hotch glared at you, clearly annoyed at your commands, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he simply called Rossi, told him the room number, and said he'd be in touch.

"We have 20 minutes until we need to be downstairs for the party," he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

You sat down in an arm chair on the opposite side of the room. "Shall we sit in silence until then?"

Hotch shot you another glare. "Perhaps we should discuss our plan?"

"What's to discuss? You know the plan as well as I do. Just pretend to actually like each other for long enough to find the unsub. Sound manageable?"

He winced as if you'd hit him, but quickly recovered. It did not, however, go unnoticed by you. "If you're silent, I think I can handle it," he snapped back.

You narrowed your eyes. "Don't worry, I'm excellent at faking sweetness."

10 minutes passed in complete silence. You felt bad for being so nasty to him, but it was all you ever did. You didn't banter...you fought, and neither of you knew how to pull a punch.

Much to your surprise, Hotch broke the silence first. "Have you always hated me so much?"

You turned to look at him. He actually looked wounded and it made your expression soften. "I don't hate you, Hotch."

"Coulda fooled me."

"Do you hate me?" you asked softly.

He looked surprised. "Of course not."

"Coulda fooled me," you said, echoing his response.

He looked down at the floor. "I know I'm an asshole, (Y/N), but I don't hate you."

You were silent for a moment. "That's the first time you've called me by my first name since I first joined the BAU."

His gaze met yours. "It is?"

You simply nodded.

He returned the nod thoughtfully. "I don't mean to be like this, you know."

"Well you're not like this with anyone else on the team, so I can only assume you have something against me specifically."

He shook his head. "I don't, but it's just--it's hard to explain." He fell silent, refusing to allow himself to elaborate further.

You sighed and stood up. "Come on. We might as well head downstairs."

He nodded again and joined you at the door.

"Remember," you said softly. "Pretend to like each other."

You opened the door and the op began.

**********

Hotch's hand rested firmly on your lower back as you walked into the hotel ballroom. You closed your eyes briefly, silently willing your body to not react to the feeling of his hand on you or the proximity of his body to yours.

Unfortunately, he felt the tension in your back against his palm. "Relax," he murmured in your ear, causing you to shiver.

You hated your body for reacting so intensely to him, and you cursed quietly under your breath, earning a deep chuckle from Hotch.

You wanted to glare at him for laughing at you, but you knew there were eyes on you both. You decided to lean into the role you were supposed to be playing, while also getting back at him.

You placed your hand on his chest and leaned your body into him, giving him a whiff of your perfume. You felt him tense against you and you grinned. "You okay there, handsome?" you teased.

He gave you a tight-lipped smile, but you noticed the slight flush in his cheeks. He knew what you were doing, but he was quite sure you weren't aware of what you were really doing to him.

He guided you farther into the large ballroom, eyes scanning the room for men that fit the profile. Unfortunately, almost every man in the room fit the profile almost perfectly.

"Are you paying attention?" he asked softly.

"Yes, Sir," you hissed in annoyance.

He bit back a groan, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. "Don't," he mumbled.

"Don't what?" you asked teasingly, knowing exactly what got to him.

He shot you a look that sent a wave of heat straight to your core. Your eyes must have betrayed you, because his expression changed to an almost wolfish look that had your pulse racing.

"Behave," he snapped. The harshness in his voice surprised you, until you saw the couple watching you from the corner of your eye. Hotch had slid seamlessly into his role, so you slipped back into yours.

Your eyes looked down and your body language screamed 'submissive', which was what you knew the unsub would want to see. The man nodded at Hotch, clearly appreciating his dominant control over you. Hotch inclined his head at the man, signaling his respect.

Once the couple was out of earshot, you whispered, "One down."

Hotch nodded. "500 to go." It was an exaggeration, but it felt like he was right.

For the next hour, the two of you made it through the room several times, eliminating almost every man there. You were starting to lose hope that you were going to find the unsub, but Hotch was refusing to give up.

Your eyes were dancing around the room when they landed on a man several feet away from you. You hadn't noticed him before, but he was watching you, eyes taking in your appearance with a dangerous hunger.

You turned your head into Hotch's shoulder, so the man could no longer see your face. "Your 2 o'clock," you whispered.

Hotch glanced in that direction and his grip on your waist tightened almost possessively. You instantly knew he agreed with your instincts and his protective nature kicked into high gear.

You felt Hotch move his head, gesturing for the man to come over to you. He leaned down to murmur against your hair, "He's coming this way."

"Hello there," the man said as he reached you. "Who do we have here?"

He was clearly talking about you, so Hotch turned your body towards him, allowing the man to have a clearer view of you. "This is Anna," he lied smoothly. "My favorite girl."

You kept your head inclined to express a very submissive nature, but you allowed yourself to gaze up at the man through your lashes. He was looking at you with an intensity that made your skin crawl, but you didn't show it.

"Anna," he said softly. "Beautiful name for a beautiful woman."

"Thank you, sir," you murmured.

"And so well-behaved." The man looked up at Hotch. "You've trained her well."

Hotch smiled. "She's a very quick learner." He leaned forward conspiratorially. "A little violence goes a long way with this one."

The man hummed lightly, clearly pleased with that information. "Is she available?"

"What did you have in mind?" Hotch asked.

"I was thinking something permanent."

Hotch pretended to think about it, looking slightly disinterested.

"I can pay very well," the man insisted. "I pay extra for complete discretion."

"Discretion is obviously included," Hotch said simply.

The man shook his head slightly. "Complete discretion. After I make the purchase, I expect utter silence on your part, regardless of what may happen."

"Should I be concerned about 'what may happen'?" he asked lightly.

"I'll make it worth your while to not be concerned."

Hotch looked down at you. "How much?"

"$500,000."

Hotch laughed. "She's worth more than that."

"My apologies. I'll give you the 500,000 for discretion and 1 million for the girl."

Every single fiber of your being was telling you this man was the unsub you were looking for and you had a feeling Hotch felt the same way.

Hotch nodded. "You've got yourself a deal."

The man smiled. "I'll transfer the money to whatever account you wish."

Hotch gave him a government-controlled bank account to wire the money to.

Back at the other hotel, Garcia received a notification that the account had received 1.5 million dollars. "Alright, guys. It's go-time. I just got 1.5 million dollars for something...I'm assuming it's for (Y/N). Hotch is talking with a man now."

Rossi and Morgan leaned over her shoulder to look at the camera feed. "Let's roll," Morgan said.

Morgan, Rossi, Reid, and Emily headed out to the other hotel. The plan was to pick up the unsub once you were transferred to his possession.

Hotch's phone dinged with a notification from Garcia informing him the money had been transferred. He looked up at the other man with a smile. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you. She's all yours."

"Excellent. Come along, Anna. We have much to do," the man said firmly as he grabbed your arm to guide you away from Hotch.

You felt Hotch's tension as you were pulled away from him, but you didn't look back. You knew if you did, it would give you away.

The moment the man was out of earshot, Hotch called Garcia. "Don't lose her," he said firmly.

"On it, sir."

Garcia watched the man guide you through the ballroom towards the bank of elevators. The cameras in the elevator showed how clearly uncomfortable you were and it made Garcia upset to watch. The unsub's hands were all over you, but you didn't pull away--you couldn't.

The elevator doors opened and the cameras in the hallway showed the unsub leading you into room 456.

"They're in room 456," Garcia said over the phone.

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Hotch was running across the ballroom towards the elevators. As he waited for the elevator, the rest of the team came into the building.

Hotch held the elevator doors opened and the other four jumped inside and headed up to the 4th floor. When they reached room 456, Emily knocked on the door. "Housekeeping," she called.

A few moments later, the unsub opened the door, looking annoyed. His expression quickly turned to surprise as 5 FBI agents busted into his room.

Hotch looked around the room for you, ignoring what was happening with the unsub behind him. His gaze landed on you and he relaxed immediately. You shot him a small smile and waved your fingers at him from the bed.

He rushed over to you. "Are you okay?" he asked gently as he pulled out a knife and quickly cut the rope that bound your arms to the headboard.

"I am now," you said softly, rubbing your wrists slightly.

"You did good," he commented.

"So did you."

He helped you off the bed and you straightened your dress before making your way over to the unsub. "Gotcha," you said with a smile as you patted his cheek.

Hotch nodded to Rossi and Morgan and they escorted him out of the room. Emily and Reid followed, but Hotch grabbed your arm to keep you from following them. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked softly.

You smiled. "He didn't do anything other than tie me to the bed and awkwardly fondle me, Hotch. I promise I'm okay."

He looked angry for a moment. "I hate that he touched you."

You shrugged. "It wasn't great, but I'll live." You grabbed his arm. "Come on, let's go."

He followed you out of the room and downstairs. The team loaded up in their vehicles and headed back to the other hotel for Garcia and JJ, while Rossi and Morgan took the unsub back to the BAU for questioning.

Garcia and JJ were packing everything up when you walked into the room.

"You're okay!" Garcia squealed as she ran across the room to hug you.

You laughed. "I'm perfectly fine, Pen. I promise."

JJ gave you a hug too before helping Garcia carry stuff out to the car. Everyone else cleared out, but you and Hotch stayed behind to change.

"We'll meet you guys back at the office. Tell Rossi to get started without us," Hotch said firmly as he ushered Emily and Reid out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

"I was kind of looking forward to interrogating him," you complained.

"I'm not letting him anywhere near you again," Hotch growled.

"Little possessive aren't we?"

His eyes met yours and your breath caught in your chest. His pupils were blown wide and his gaze was incredibly intense. Your heart began to beat rapidly and your breathing became more shallow.

You'd never wanted him more badly than you wanted him in this moment, but you found you couldn't move. It was as if your feet had grown roots.

Hotch, on the other hand, began to slowly walk towards you, like a predator hunting his prey. He stopped mere inches from you, so close you could feel his breath against your lips.

He leaned forward, pinning you against the wall, his arms caging you in. "Tell me to stop," he whispered.

"No," you breathed out.

He groaned softly and you watched as the last remnants of his self-control faded away. Without warning, he slammed his lips against yours, taking your breath away.

You kissed him back, snaking your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. His body collapsed against yours, pressing into you deliciously.

His lips began to move to your jaw and down to your neck, sucking your skin and leaving little bite marks as he went.

"Aaron," you whimpered softly.

He moaned against your skin, nipping at your pulse point. "Say my name again."

You gave the hair at the nape of his neck a tug and whispered his name again.

He looked up at you, eyes black with lust. "I wanna take my time with you," he murmured.

"We don't have time," you said softly. "The team's gonna wonder what's taking so long."

"I don't care," he growled. "I've been wanting to do this for years."

You groaned, the mere idea that he'd wanted you for so long was a massive turn on. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots gently. "Then you can wait a little longer, baby."

"Fuck," he mumbled, hands tightening on your hips. "I'll take my time with you later. Lift that dress up, baby. Wanna touch you."

You didn't need to be told twice. You lifted up the skirt of the dress so it was around your waist, revealing your black lace thong.

He raised his eyebrows when he saw your underwear and you grinned. "Didn't want panty lines."

He grabbed the edge of the lace and ripped it with ease.

"Aaron!"

"What? You won't need them." He slipped a finger between your folds, effectively silencing your response. "So wet for me," he groaned.

Your head leaned back against the wall and you let out a soft moan. Your fingers reached for his belt, quickly removing it before fiddling with the button and zipper on his pants.

He grabbed your hand and pushed it away. You were about to protest, but he made much faster work of removing his pants than you would have. He pulled his boxers down just enough to release his hard cock, stroking it as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what, baby?"

"Fuck me, please," you begged.

"I can't say no when you beg so sweetly," he said softly.

You clutched at his shoulders and lifted your hips up to meet his hands. He chuckled lightly at your neediness, but he couldn't deny his own need any longer. In one swift movement, he sheathed himself inside of you completely.

You gasped as you dug your nails into him, trying to adjust to his size. His length and girth stretched you out almost painfully. You wrapped your right leg around his waist and begged him to move.

He started to thrust up into you, your moans mixing with the salacious sounds of your bodies meeting.

"You feel so good, (Y/N)," he moaned into your ear. "Could stay between these pretty legs forever."

"Faster," you begged.

He chuckled darkly and sped up his thrusts. You gasped loudly, pleasure overwhelming you.

"Squeezing me so tight, baby."

"So close," you gasped.

"Yeah? You wanna cum, pretty girl?"

"Please," you whimpered.

"Not yet," he growled.

You let out a soft whimper as he continued to thrust into you. He was struggling to keep his own orgasm at bay, but he wanted to make sure yours was as intense as he could make it before he came.

"Fuck, baby, you're so beautiful."

"Wanna cum," you cried softly.

He thrust into you as hard and fast as he could. "Cum for me, baby."

You cried out as your release hit you with overwhelming force. You clenched tightly around him as you came, drawing deep moans from his chest.

"Squeezing me so good...gonna cum, baby," he groaned out.

You felt him slow slightly and you worried he was going to pull out. "Inside me, please--Aaron, wanna feel you fill me up," you begged quickly.

"Baby, you sure?"

You nodded rapidly. "Please--need it."

He leaned into you, lips against your throat as he thrust into you a couple more times before he came inside of you, filling you with his seed. He groaned your name against your skin as he came down from his high.

You were both breathless as he slowly slid out of you. His hands didn't leave your hips, which you were thankful for. You were pretty sure you wouldn't be able to stand up without his support.

"You alright, (Y/N)?" he asked softly as he kissed your temple.

"More than alright."

He smiled. "Me too."

You chuckled as you looked up at him. "We--uh...we should probably clean up and get back to the office."

He nodded and pulled away from you a little. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry--"

"Nothing to be sorry for, Aaron. I wanted that as badly as you did."

He looked back up at you, eyes scanning your face for any hint of deception. The fact that you'd used his first name and the look of affection on your face solidified his belief that you were serious.

"For the record, I'd like to do this again later," you said softly as you took in his gentle expression.

He smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Oh really?"

You bit your lip and nodded.

He groaned softly. "Don't play coy now, (Y/N)."

You grinned and pulled him in for a deep kiss, one he returned happily. When you separated, you pulled yourself off the wall and went to adjust your dress. As soon as you stood up straight, his cum began to seep out onto your thighs.

"Shit," you mumbled.

"What?"

"Well, you ruined my underwear and now I'm going to get cum all over my dress."

He grinned. "Good thing you brought clothes to change into."

"I didn't bring another pair of underwear!"

"Sorry, gorgeous. Guess you'll have to just sit with your thighs clenched together."

You smacked him affectionately as he started to take off the rest of his tux so he could change.

"You're terrible," you grumbled lightly. You grabbed your clothes and went into the bathroom to change. When you came back out, he was dressed and ready to go.

He looked slightly uncomfortable, as if the realization of everything that had happened just dawned on him. "We, uh--we should probably talk about this..."

Your expression hardened slightly, unsure of what he was trying to say. Did he regret it? "We can talk about it later. Let's just get back to Quantico."

Hotch nodded, noticing the way you'd closed up when he'd mentioned talking. He couldn't deny that he was worried--and perhaps slightly ashamed that he'd given in to his primal desires. He just had to hope you didn't hate him.

You stayed quiet for the whole ride back to Quantico, leaving Hotch to wonder silently if he'd really and truly messed things up for good.

**********

After the interviews were completed and the unsub had confessed to all of the murders, it was almost 2am. You were beyond ready to go home, as was the rest of the team.

Everyone was leaving except for Hotch. He watched as you started to make your way towards the elevators. He knew he needed to make a decision...

The elevator doors closed with you inside and his decision was made for him. He figured he could talk to you on Monday...or maybe just never bring it up ever again. Maybe that's what you'd prefer.

You'd never admit it to anyone, but you went home that night and cried yourself to sleep. You should have known better--hell you did know better. Giving yourself over that easily was embarrassing...especially when you did it with your boss.

Hotch didn't call that night, nor the next day, and when you came to work on Monday, he tried to catch your eye, but you ignored him more harshly than you ever had before.

Two weeks went by in much the same way. You wouldn't even look in his direction and he desperately tried to think of something to say. The longer this went on, the harder it was for him to say something.

Friday night came and the team wanted to go out for drinks. You declined, opting instead to go home and curl up on your couch.

Hotch overheard your explanation to JJ, telling her you were too tired. He decided tonight would be the night when he would man up and actually talk to you.

A little before 6pm, there was a knock at your door. You were already in your pjs and you'd ordered Chinese food for dinner, so you assumed it was your delivery.

When you opened the door, you were shocked to see a soaking wet Aaron Hotchner standing at your door.

"Well you're not the Chinese delivery guy," you grumbled.

He held up the bag of Chinese food in his hand. "Caught him on the way in. He was more than happy to hand it to me so he could get out of the rain."

You sighed. "Come in then, before you get pneumonia."

He followed you into your townhouse, shutting the door behind him. He stopped in the entryway, clothes dripping all over the floor.

"I'll get you a couple towels."

"Thanks," he said sheepishly.

Even after toweling himself off, he was still soaking wet. He removed his coat and his suit jacket, leaving him in his white button down, which in its current state, did nothing to hide the body beneath it.

You swallowed thickly and averted your gaze. "So what brings you to my house in the pouring rain on a Friday night?"

"I...I thought we could talk," he mumbled.

You gestured to your dining table. "Pull up a seat. I got enough Chinese food for 4 people."

He sat down at the table across from you and you silently pulled out the different containers.

"Just don't touch the potstickers," you said lightly, the ghost of a smile playing across your lips.

He chuckled. "I learned my lesson on that one."

A couple years ago, the team had gotten Chinese food to sustain them on a late night of work. Hotch made the mistake of taking the last potsticker mere seconds before you came back for it. Every other person on the team knew better than to take the last one without asking you first and Hotch learned first-hand that night how aggressive you got about potstickers.

The two of you ate in silence for a little while. Since he'd come here without warning, you decided to simply wait him out. If he had something he wanted to say, he'd need to just come out and say it.

You were half-tempted to start humming the Jeopardy tune when Hotch finally spoke up.

"Sorry for stopping by unannounced."

"It's alright. I didn't have any exciting plans anyway," you said, gesturing to the containers on the table.

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. You could tell he was uncomfortable, but you weren't about to ease his pain. You were still annoyed with him.

"So I--I think I owe you an apology," he began.

You raised your eyebrows.

"I do owe you an apology," he corrected.

"Go on."

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "I shouldn't have done what I did that night at the hotel."

"In what sense?"

"I shouldn't have slept with you," he said softly.

You winced, but he wasn't looking at your face, so he missed your expression. "Right," you snapped, standing up. "Well if that's all--"

He finally looked up at you and you saw the pain in his eyes. It softened your heart and your expression. "Please," he whispered. "Just let me finish."

You sighed and sat back down.

"Can I start over?" he asked.

You nodded. "Please do."

"Do you remember when you first joined the team?"

"Of course."

"So do I. Better than I should, actually," he mumbled. "When you first started, I thought you were amazing. You were so incredibly smart, but so humble. You made me laugh, you brightened my day every single day...you made me feel something I wasn't sure I'd ever feel."

You inhaled softly, his words stirring something inside of you that you weren't sure you wanted to feel.

"Those first few weeks were incredible and I was so glad that you'd joined the team--not just because I enjoyed your company, but because of how good of a profiler you are. I realized there was a problem pretty early on and it changed everything for me." He sighed. "I started to treat you differently from the rest of the team and I'll admit I took it a little too far. I thought if I pushed you as far away as I could, then I wouldn't want you anymore."

He ran his fingers through his hair and stood up. He started pacing the length of the dinning room, eyes trained on the floor. "The thing is, you'd already managed to wedge yourself in my heart and nothing I did changed that. I kept telling myself that I'm your boss and I can't feel what I feel for you--that I can't have you. I was so angry at the whole situation that I started taking it out on you--and you didn't deserve that." He finally looked up at you. "You don't deserve that."

There were tears in your eyes, but you didn't say a word--you couldn't.

"The night of the op...I struggled to keep my composure from the moment you walked out in that dress. You looked so incredibly beautiful--you took my breath away. But when we walked into that ballroom and those men looked at you so hungrily...it disgusted me. The mere thought of any one of them touching you made me sick to my stomach, especially knowing what kind of people they were."

He looked angry even in that moment, as if talking about it was unbearable.

"My natural protective instincts kicked in and I almost forgot what we were there to do. I know I teased you a little and I'm sorry about that--it was unprofessional."

"You weren't the only one doing the teasing," you reminded him gently.

He smiled slowly. "True. But still. I shouldn't have done that." He clenched his jaw. "But when Andrew Connors looked at you, I saw red. I knew he was the unsub before he even came over to us. The way he looked at you...it terrified me. Then I had to watch him walk away with you and I couldn't breathe, (Y/N). The thought of something happening to you was overwhelming."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I've gotten very good at hiding what I'm feeling," he conceded. "When we busted into his hotel room and I didn't see you right away...my brain jumped to the worst conclusions. But then I saw you and you looked uncomfortable, but alive. I've never felt relief like that in my life."

You offered him a small smile and he continued.

"When you told me that he'd touched you, I almost lost it, but you were so calm. It didn't bother you the way it bothered me, and I realized that part of the reason I was so upset was because of how I thought of you--the possessiveness I felt--like you were mine. I couldn't stand the thought of him touching what belonged to me."

He paused. "I'm not saying you belong to me--that's just how it felt to me in that moment," he clarified. "By the time we got back to the hotel, I was so worked up I could hardly control myself. That sassy little attitude of yours was the last straw and I broke."

"You didn't actually break--I invited you in," you said softly.

"I literally caged you against a wall."

"And you asked me to tell you to stop. I didn't want you to."

His expression shifted slightly. "You didn't? Like even now looking back?"

You laughed mirthlessly. "Hotch, did you really think you forced yourself on me?"

He nodded slowly.

"You know me better than that. If I didn't want to do it, it wouldn't have happened."

"I just thought that maybe you were feeling confused and pent-up like I was and you just gave in because I was there."

"Do you know how terrible that sounds?"

"You're so out of my league it's not even funny--and I'm your boss! Are you really so surprised that's what I was thinking?!"

You inhaled sharply. "I'm not out of your league, Aaron Hotchner."

"Of course you are!" he insisted.

You groaned in annoyance. "How many men have I dated since I joined the BAU?"

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"How many?" you asked again.

"I...I don't know. You've never mentioned anyone."

You nodded. "That's because there hasn't been a single man. Not one."

"Not one? How is that possible?"

"Not a single one. Do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"You," you said simply.

"Me?"

"I wanted you from the moment we met and for some damn reason that's never changed, even with the way we treated each other."

His face was filled with complete and utter shock, which surprised you.

"You're a profiler, Aaron," you teased. "Did you really not know?"

He shook his head. "Maybe I just didn't want to believe it."

"Why not?"

"Because then I wouldn't have an excuse to keep us apart."

"And now?" you whispered.

He crossed the space between you and grabbed your hand, pulling you up out of your chair. "I can't take any of this back, (Y/N), and to be honest, I don't want to."

You gently caressed his face. "Something real?" you asked softly.

He turned his face into your hand and kissed your palm. "Something real," he confirmed.

You stood on your tiptoes and pulled him down to kiss you, his lips softly caressing yours. You moaned softly as you leaned into him, deepening the kiss. His arms snaked around your lower body, pulling you flush against him.

When you finally separated to breathe, Hotch leaned his forehead against yours. "I don't want to be presumptuous--" he began.

"Bedroom is the first room on the left," you murmured.

He chuckled. "You read my mind."

He slid his hands under your thighs and pulled you up with ease. You wrapped your legs around his waist with a giggle as he carried you to your bedroom.

"So strong, Agent Hotchner," you teased warmly.

"Hmm," he hummed. "I like these titles you use."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed."

He tossed you down onto the bed and you laughed lightly.

"What are you gonna do to me, sir?"

He groaned softly. "You're going to be the death of me, beautiful."

You smiled and leaned back on your elbows. "I certainly hope not. I have plans for you."

"Sounds ominous," he teased.

You grinned. "You're going to love it, I promise. Now, why don't you lose those wet clothes?"

He smiled. "Only because you asked so sweetly." He started to unbutton his shirt tantalizingly slowly, eyes never leaving yours.

You bit your lip as you watched him, silently begging him to speed it up.

After what felt like an eternity he slid the shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor, but of course he was still wearing his undershirt. He started to very slowly lift it up, eliciting a groan from you.

"Aaron."

He chuckled. "Alright, alright." He pulled the shirt off over his head and tossed it onto the floor.

You let out a little hum of approval, which made him blush. He was a confident man, but he felt very exposed under your gaze.

He shed his pants quickly, leaving nothing on but his boxers. You eyed the bulge appreciatively, the memories of his size on the forefront of your mind.

"I think you're a little overdressed, baby," he teased lightly.

You looked down at your t-shirt and pj pants. "Hmm...you might be right." You yanked your shirt off in one smooth motion, tossing it to the side before looking back at him.

He practically pounced onto the bed, eyes glued to your torso. "No bra?" he whispered.

"I wasn't expecting company."

"I'm not complaining," he said almost reverently as he hovered over you, hands touching your sides.

He licked his lips before kissing you softly, moving down the column of your throat down towards your breasts. He swirled his tongue around your nipple before giving it a light nip as he took it into his mouth.

Your back arched towards him and a soft moan left your lips. Your hands immediately went to his broad shoulders, holding onto him as he toyed with you.

His hands slid down your sides, fingers digging into your skin as he went. He didn't want to let go of you, but he needed to remove your pants. He was dying to bury himself between your legs.

You wiggled your hips to help him as he tugged off your pjs. "Baby," he groaned, as you laid before him completely bare. "Never wear underwear ever again."

You laughed lightly. "If you promise to keep looking at me like that, I'll burn every pair I own."

He grinned wolfishly. "I'll make it worth your while."

He gripped your thighs and tugged your legs apart with gentle force. You gasped softly and his eyes flicked up to you to make sure you were okay. What he saw had him moaning with need of his own.

Your eyes were hooded and filled with lust, lips parted, a warm blush heating your face. You bit your lip when you caught him staring and shifted your hips slightly to get his attention back where you wanted it.

He gave you a little smirk before lowering himself comfortably between your legs. He nipped at the soft flesh of your inner thighs, hands massaging your hips gently.

"Aaron," you whined.

"Patience, sweetheart," he mumbled.

You whimpered softly, but you had a feeling he would make it worth the wait.

His lips slowly made their way towards your core, warming your body from the outside in. After what felt like an eternity, his tongue finally darted out sliding between your folds with ease.

You gasped in pleasure as he settled in, mouth moving against your core with expert precision. Every swipe of his tongue, movement of his lips, and vibration from his moans had you shivering with pleasure.

It didn't take him very long to work you into a heated frenzy. Within minutes, you were coming apart on his tongue, cries of his name reverberating through the bedroom. Your fingers clutched his dark hair, giving it a light tug when the pleasure became too much.

He lifted himself up, licking his lips as he eyed you with a dark look. His ministrations had only served to fuel his hunger and you could tell he was struggling to maintain his control.

"Can I taste you?" you asked sweetly.

Surprise lit up his features. "You--you don't have to."

You furrowed your brows. "I want to--badly."

He nodded hesitantly, rolling over to allow you access. He helped you remove his boxers and you inhaled sharply when his cock sprang free. You hadn't gotten a very good look at it the last time, but you'd known it was large. Now seeing it, all you wanted to do was feel the weight against your tongue.

You gripped the shaft firmly, pulling a soft moan from his throat. You licked your lips before pressing kisses to the head, the shaft, and his balls. You traced the large vein on the shaft with your tongue before slipping his large member into your mouth.

"Fuck," he groaned, hands immediately wrapping themselves in your hair.

Your mouth was so warm and wet, and the way you moved had him breathing heavily and making the sexiest sounds you'd ever heard. Each one spurred you on and your motions quickened.

"Just like that baby," he moaned. "Feels amazing."

You hummed appreciatively around his cock, the vibrations sending a wave of pleasure through his body. His hips jerked up to meet your mouth and you gagged slightly.

A look of panic crossed his face at the sound, but when he looked down at you, it was clear you didn't mind. You pushed yourself a little lower onto his cock, gagging again as you took him into your throat. You wanted to make sure he knew you were into it.

He was surprised by how much it turned him on, his moans becoming almost embarrassingly loud. "Gonna cum if you keep doing that," he said lowly.

You sped up slightly, the only signal you gave him that you wanted exactly that--his cum pouring down your throat.

Moments later, he gasped your name as he came, and you swallowed every drop he gave you. You paid special attention to the head of his cock as he came down from his high, making sure to prolong his pleasure as much as possible.

He tugged your hair gently, pulling you off of him and up to his face so he could kiss you. When you separated, he was completely breathless.

"Where--" he breathed deeply, trying to steady his heart rate. "Where did you learn...to do...that?"

You grinned. "A magician never reveals her secrets," you teased with a wink.

He chuckled. "Best I've ever had, hands down."

You blushed. "Thank you."

"Thank you," he countered. He flipped you onto your back and climbed on top of you again.

"Oh!" you gasped in surprise as your back hit the mattress. "We're not done?"

He looked surprised. "Do you wanna be?"

You shook your head rapidly, causing him to laugh. "It's just--in my experience, most men are one and done."

"Oh baby, you've been hanging out with all the wrong men," he teased. "Besides, you only came once."

Your brows knit together in confusion. "So...?"

"I need at least two more from you."

"Two more? I've never cum more than once during sex."

"Oh now that sounds like a challenge," he said devilishly. "And I love a good challenge."

You blushed a little and wiggled slightly under him.

"Hey," he said softly. "We don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. Tell me to stop and I will, no matter what."

You smiled warmly and touched his cheek. "I appreciate that. I want you...I'm just not used to the whole 'multiple orgasms' thing."

He kissed your palm. "May I try?"

You nodded slowly. "Please..."

"I'll go slow, baby."

In a split second, you decided you didn't want him to go slow. You wanted him to ruin you and you had a pretty good idea how to rile him up.

"I want you to fuck me until I can't walk, sir." You put a lot of emphasis on the title, hoping it would have the desired effect.

You weren't disappointed. His eyes darkened instantly and his grip on your hips tightened. "Is that what you want, huh? You want me to use this sweet little pussy for my own pleasure?"

You inhaled sharply, desire evident in your expression. "Make me scream," you begged.

Hotch shifted his body and thrust into you without any warning, earning a cry of pained pleasure from your lips. "I can't deny such a pretty little request," he growled before he began to pound into you, setting a brutal pace.

You cried out again as the pain faded away, leaving only white hot pleasure in its wake. Your nails clawed at his back, finding purchase anywhere they could.

"Shit, baby--this pussy was made for me," he mumbled against the shell of your ear.

"Oh god," you moaned loudly.

"Keep making those pretty little sounds for me, baby."

His thrusts were measured and precise, each one hitting your sweet spot and sending waves of pleasure through you. Every inch of your body was on fire, from the tips of your toes up to the roots of your hair. You had never in your life felt this incredible and you never wanted it to end.

"Aaron," you gasped. "I'm so--so close."

"Fuck--" he growled. "Say my name again."

"Aaron."

Somehow his pace increased and it sent you tumbling right over the edge. You came with surprising force, pussy pulsating around his cock. As badly as he would have liked to keep his pace, he had to slow down to avoid cumming too.

"That's it, baby," he murmured against your neck. "Doing so well for me. Gonna give me one more?"

You hadn't been sure it was possible for you to have two orgasms, let alone three, but you were 100% willing to try. You nodded, but it wasn't enough for him.

"Can you use those words for me, pretty girl?"

"Yes, sir," you murmured.

He groaned and began to pick up his pace again. "That's my good girl."

Your eyes widened and your nails dug into his flesh slightly. The burning sensation caught his attention and he smiled. "You like that don't you? You wanna be my good girl?"

You nodded hastily. "Yes, sir. Please. I'll be so good for you."

He grinned. "Of course you will, baby."

He shifted his weight and pulled your legs up to his chest, allowing him to thrust even more deeply inside of you. His thrusts never faltered, his pace remained steady.

You whimpered below him, the pleasure almost too much. Your body was so sensitive, but you didn't want him to stop. "Please," you whispered.

"Please what, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."

"More," you begged.

He kissed your leg softly before sliding a hand down between your thighs. He began to gently circle your clit as he continued pounding into you. Your moans grew in volume and your legs began to shake as the pleasure built.

"I know you're close, baby," he groaned. "I need you to cum for me."

You moaned as he increased the pressure on your clit. The feeling of his hands on you, his cock filling you up so thoroughly, and the gentle skill of his fingers combined to send you to the very edge.

You knew you needed something more--but you weren't sure if he would be comfortable with it. Neither of you had exactly had time to discuss what you were into in the bedroom.

You reached up and grabbed his hand from your leg, pulling it towards your face. He watched you, a look of confusion marring his handsome features. You placed his hand on the base of your neck, giving it a light squeeze to ensure he knew what you wanted.

His eyes widened, but he didn't move his hand. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

You nodded quickly. "Please, Aaron--I need it."

He groaned lowly and added a small amount of pressure to your throat, not enough to choke you, but enough for you to know he was there and he was in control.

You gasped in pleasure, the mixture of the various sensations threatening to overwhelm you. Within moments, you were crying out as you came, body shaking beneath his as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you.

"Shit--" he moaned loudly. "I'm gonna--gonna cum."

"Fill me up," you begged.

It was all he needed to hear to cum, a cry of your name falling from his lips. His cock filled with you with what felt like an endless amount of his seed, his orgasm lasting for several seconds.

Finally, he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily. He kissed whatever skin he could reach as he tried to catch his breath.

"That was pretty decent," you said breathily, a teasing tone lacing your voice.

"Just decent?" he asked, head lifting to glare at you affectionately.

"Sooooo decent."

He laughed and you shot him a grin.

"Seriously, Aaron. It was fucking amazing."

"I couldn't agree more. I can stay here forever." He kissed your jaw. "Unless I'm hurting you?"

You shook your head. "I kinda like your body weight on top of me. Feels nice."

"Good because I don't think I can move yet."

You laughed warmly and wrapped your arms around him to hold him tightly against you. "You're pretty cute like this."

"Did you just call me cute?" he mumbled against your skin.

"Mhmm."

"Thanks, baby," he said with a little chuckle. "You're pretty damn cute too."

"Just cute?" you teased.

He lifted his head to look at you and smiled warmly. "You are absolutely the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. And right now? God...literal perfection."

You blushed, your entire face turning red. "Aaron..."

"I'm serious, (Y/N)."

"Thank you," you said softly.

He lifted himself up so he could look down at you better. "I'm going to tell you every second of every day so you don't forget."

You laughed lightly. "You're a dork."

"And you're sexy."

You laughed harder. "I kinda like this game."

He kissed you gently before sitting up entirely. "How 'bout I run a bath for you, hmm?"

"That sounds nice."

You watched him as he walked to your adjoining bathroom and began to fill up the tub. You smiled as you watched him, feeling incredibly happy. He was so handsome and sweet...just like you'd thought he was when you first met him.

You had never been thankful for an unsub or a case before...but you were thankful for this one. This case changed everything for you and you had a strong feeling the change was going to be permanent.

Hotch turned around to look at you with a warm smile and you felt it in your bones, this deep adoration for the man in front of you. You felt happy for the first time in years, really and truly happy--and you knew it was going to last forever.

#Aaron Hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #hotch x reader #hotch x reader smut #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner smut #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #hotch smut

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randomperson99sworld · 2 months ago

Text

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 38 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly).

Word Count: 719

A/N: This is chapter is a little short but I’ll make up for it with the next one, it might get a little spicy ;). Stated as always this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

A few days had passed since the ghost case, and things around the bunker had started to feel a little lighter. Dean had taken a few steps toward his old self—nothing too drastic, but small things that meant the world to Julia and Sam. He'd started to ease up, letting the weight of the Mark and the guilt slip away bit by bit.

Julia had made it her mission to help him through it. Little things, really. She'd crack jokes, tease him when he'd get too serious, and offer small distractions like a movie night or teaching him some random trivia she'd found in one of Bobby's old books.

To her relief, it was working.

Dean had started to smile again—actual, real smiles. The kind that reached his eyes. He was still Dean, still brooding and carrying the weight of everything he'd been through, but there were moments when he seemed lighter, more like the man she knew he really was beneath it all.

One afternoon, as they sat in the kitchen, Dean leaned back in his chair, smirking as Julia rambled on about a weird case she'd read about in the Men of Letters archives. She was trying to explain the ridiculousness of a haunted toaster when Dean cut her off with a chuckle.

"A haunted toaster? Really? That's what you're spending your time on?" he asked, his lips twitching in amusement.

Julia grinned, shrugging as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. "Hey, you'd be surprised at the things that can get possessed. Toasters, vacuum cleaners... I think there's even a case about a haunted lawnmower somewhere."

Dean shook his head, laughing softly. "Yeah, well, if I see a lawnmower coming at me, I'm out. I'll leave that one to you."

She smirked. "Deal. But don't come crying to me when you're ambushed by a vengeful blender."

Dean's eyes flickered with warmth as he shook his head. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you like it," Julia shot back, her grin widening.

Dean's smile faltered for a second, his gaze softening as he looked at her. "Yeah," he said quietly, almost to himself. "I guess I do."

The brief shift in his tone made Julia pause, but before she could say anything, Dean stood up, stretching his arms over his head. "Alright, enough about haunted kitchen appliances. I'm gonna go grab a beer. You want one?"

She nodded, watching him as he walked toward the fridge. There was something in the way he moved now—less heavy, less burdened. Julia knew it wasn't all gone; the Mark was still there, and the weight of what he'd done still lingered in the back of his mind. But for now, he seemed... better.

"You know," Dean said as he handed her a beer and sat back down, "I gotta admit, I'm kinda surprised you're still hanging around."

Julia raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of the cold beer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, after everything..." Dean trailed off, his fingers idly tapping the side of his bottle. "I guess I figured you'd be long gone by now."

She tilted her head, studying him. "Why would I be?"

Dean shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "I dunno. I'm not exactly easy to be around these days."

"Dean," she said softly, leaning forward to catch his eye. "I'm not going anywhere. I keep telling you we’re in this together.”

He looked at her, the familiar guilt flickering in his eyes for just a moment before he nodded. "Yeah. I guess we are."

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. They didn't need to fill the space with words—they'd reached a point where just being together, existing in the same space, was enough. Julia could tell Dean was starting to find peace in that, too.

Later that evening, as the sun began to set and the shadows of the bunker grew long, Julia caught Dean smiling again. A real smile, not just the forced one he'd worn to keep up appearances. It was the kind of smile she hadn't seen in what felt like forever.

And in that moment, Julia knew that, slowly but surely, they were going to be okay.

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isagrimorie · 4 months ago

Note

For the ask game, absolutely Emily Prentiss.

An obsession of mine since she first joined the BAU.

Predictable of me? Maybe

I have no shame when it comes to Prentiss

Or if you want to go old school, maybe some Shaw from POI

for the character ask game: Emily Prentiss

How I feel about this character

I really love Emily Prentiss! She's my favorite character on Criminal Minds even through my first watch of CM.

Honestly, I didn't expect to like Criminal Minds as much as I do because I'm not usually into shows that has a lot of well... gory deaths. But CM managed to walk the line and a large part of that is the main characters and the character dynamic!

Emily was one of the people that really caught my attention, I loved Elle in the first season and was so sad to see her go but then Emily entered the picture and she has such a different dynamic. And Paget Brewster is so charismatic.

It took me years to realize that she's Kathy on Friends.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I think Emily has chemistry with everyone! (Except, funnily enough with her last boyfriend in season 15).

So, of course, I ship Emily with JJ and with Morgan.

I can see the Hotch thing but it didn't really click for me but also I can definitely see Tara/Emily too. They have similar backgrounds and instant understanding of each other.

Briefly, there was this frisson with Luke Alvez, but I think it fizzled because yeah she is his boss and rightly so Luke's been smitten with Penelope ever since.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Honestly? I think it's David Rossi. Rewatching things, I like the slow build of their friendship and he is not quite a father figure to Emily. But enough of an authority something figure that when Rossi says stupid things like 'I forbid you', it triggers Emily's rebellious hindbrain.

Tara also occupies this place, I think it's partly due to them sharing a similar background and she wasn't there the first time for the Doyle stuff so Emily can feel okay bouncing off ideas with her. She wasn't a teammate from before so she can also properly establish that she's the boss. Not that her friends don't accept her team lead but sometimes I think Emily just wants a clean slate.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Unpopular even to myself! But I think now, after everything she's been through, what her friends have been through, Emily needed that time away from the BAU.

If she stayed in immediately after Ian Doyle thing and kept seeing the same thing, she would have burned out. Emily had to find her footing outside of the BAU.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Oh. So many things!

I wish they recast the actress for Elizabeth Prentiss, I know the OG actress retired doesn't mean we shouldn't at least see Emily interact with her mother again. Emily's in Washington DC, don't tell me her mother wouldn't visit one time and make Emily's life a nightmare by requiring her to attend some state dinner with her, even if Emily is in her 50s she still reverts back to Classic Emily.

I wish that the show would acknowledge Emily actually would have more political connections because *waves hand* Ambassador Prentiss. But also, she would have built her own. Emily was head of London's Interpol branch! Or at least, I think the counterterrorism part of Interpol... Clyde's job was really hazy and the show never really clarified what Emily did.

Still, that's big, IMO.

I wish the show delved more into the fact that Hotch knew Emily while she was just getting over her rebellious teen phase. He must have some amusing stories about Emily that I wish he shared with the team.

I wish the show would lean into some spy thriller episodes now that Criminal Minds is now on streaming. Counter-terrorism still deals with Human behavior after all.

There was that one Vampire episode with Gavin Rossdale as a guest star and the show didn't delve into the Goth subculture even though they lampshaded Emily's past. Like, she's a decades out of that subculture but she's still a goth at heart (look at all her clothes), she could at least share some insight.

I wish the show didn't forget that Emily is actually better than Reid at both chess and poker.

Criminal Minds writers admit that they don't really plan things ahead of time but there are some moments I can point to now in hindsight that works to foreshadow Emily being both a great spy/undercover agent and team leader.

#answered #thymejot #emily prentiss #tv: criminal minds #ask game #character ask game

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my-mt-heart · 2 years ago

Note

Does SF have any new feelings on all of these little “leaks” stating Melissa is there?

My new feelings are the same as my old feelings 🙈🙉🙊 None of these "leaks" would be happening if AMC didn't condone them, but if you're asking me whether I believe Melissa is there, then yes.

On if it will be announced tomorrow that Melissa is back?

AMC has never announced anything in the way normal networks do, but they need to present their slate and make it appealing to advertisers, particularly with their new service, Audience+. They'll have to put lipstick on the pig that's S1 so someone will invest and the easiest way of doing that would be to announce Melissa's return.

On if we won’t be hearing about “the Daryl show” anymore?

Like MT, I'd like a proper title to be announced and by proper, I mean one that will give some kind of indication as to what the show is about, like The Last of Us, Stranger Things, or Game of Thrones. Even "More Tales of the Walking Dead" is more descriptive than "The Daryl Show" (it's not a sitcom) or "Raise the Dead" (which is illogical).

I'd also like to hear from Zabel, so we could get a sense for how in charge he is. Those revisions to 201 (as seen in the picture of the cover page) give me pause. I think I know why an outsider was brought in instead of promoting from within the franchise, but until we get a statement or even a soundbite, this spinoff could be at DEFCON 5 or 1.

Kristin Dolan will speak, so that should give us a better idea of what she's got planned for the network and by extension, TWDU.

Tacking these on here since I can't comment on other comments:

retiredkat: The move to France has benefited one person.

Correlation does not equal causation. Yes, Norman benefited, but he wasn't the only one to do so and out of the two, he had less power (and less of a motive) to affect a shift in concept or location.

retiredkat: AMC could have sued MMB for breach of contract if she truly backed out for no good reason, correct? I just don’t understand how France was untenable a year ago, but now it is.

Well, there are exit clauses in those contracts, so there's no need for the studio to sue. The money you'd owe for breach of contract and loss of profits is prohibitive and your reputation is shot afterwards. No one would hire you.

France being untenable is still just the official agreed upon excuse as to why Melissa was let go. It was never the actual reason, just like she didn't need a break, nor had a change of mind and before someone jumps in to say it, neither did she nurse her elderly father who doesn't even live in the same state.

She’s welcome to chime in.

🚮

Thanks for taking the time to respond :) We will see what tomorrow brings.

This is kind of a tangent, but Zabel should declare himself a Caryl shipper. I want the showrunner to have the same energy that LaToya Morgan has. I'm tired of everyone playing coy.

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

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amberjazmyn · 1 year ago

Text

dr spencer reid one-shot

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 - grievances

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 - emotions, death, hospitals, flashbacks, gets happier towards the end.

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - dr spencer reid's first wife maeve dies during the childbirth of her fourth child (their eldest is jazmyne, kenzie, noah, ryder and lennon is the newborn) spencer moves on and starts falling in love with florianna who is the best friend of spencer and maeve. pretty much this is focused on spencer and jazmyne's grief the most due to the other three, (noah, ryder and lennon) not being able to know fully what has happened and why mamma maeve is no longer coming home with lennon.

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 - this is an already written imagine from an old book of mine however, i just want to imagine it with dr spencer reid and have it as kind of an au where maeve didn't die due to diane like she did in zugzwang in the show. as always, please, if any of these warnings trigger you, either don't read it at all or read with caution. flashbacks will be in italicised font and present-day will be in the normal font.

masterlist

- - -

two years ago| spencer's pov��

jazmyne, my eldest daughter, fifteen, out of my now five children was stirring in my lap as her head laid there as the rest of her body was spread out on a couple of hospital waiting room chairs, trying to get her to sleep even though i knew, despite her being my eldest daughter, that she hated sleeping in the hospital. which, in turn, was very different to her two younger brothers, noah and ryder. however, i knew i couldn't leave maeve, my wife and the mother of my now five kids. just in case maeve woke up, i didn't want her to wake up on her own, especially considering she's just given birth to our brand new baby girl, lennon emily, i didn't want her to freak out and wonder where everyone was. just as a backstory, i have five kids, jazmyne lorde is my eldest and she is fifteen and is actually in theory my step-daughter from maeve's previous relationship, mackenzie rose is my second eldest and is actually adopted from kenzie and jazmyne's school teacher, and she is the same age as jazmyne, noah colton is my third eldest and he's seven, ryder morgan is our fourth child and he is five and lennon, is our fifth child who was just born a couple of hours ago and, during maeve's pregnancy with lennon, it was quite dangerous but, we were told that once maeve had actually given birth to lennon that everything would be fine. and that, maybe, hopefully, we'd still get my wife back afterwards.

how long we'd have to wait until we got the all-clear to drive back to quantico, i'd spend it waiting here in this very hospital waiting room just to make sure that the love of my life was okay. i know how much my eldest despises the hospital and, i feel awful that i'm doing this, i truly do, but we were the only family of maeve's that was close enough to make sure she was okay. florianna, a best friend of maeve and myself was also with us as she helped jaz and i take care of noah, ryder and lennon when we had visiting hours to check in on maeve as mackenzie wasn't with us but with her biological mom.

"jazzy, please, my darling, can you try to get some sleep? it's nearly midnight, can you at least try for dad? please?" i cry out in distress whilst my two boys and lennon were all fast asleep in the hospital bed that was in the room we had been provided, jazzy just couldn't - and i knew it was because of how terrified she was of hospitals but, i just needed to get jaz off to sleep

"no, dad! i don't like it here! i want mom to wake up and to go back home! i just want to be back home in quantico with our family and mackenzie and just hang out together!" jaz tiredly cries into my chest as hearing her say that as my fifteen-year-old girl makes my heart shatter even more

"jazzy, baby, i know you want to be home, i do too but, we just can't. not whilst mom is in the state she's in, we need momma to get better! maybe if i place you with noah and ryder, you'll sleep?" i tried, usually if jazzy slept with noah and ryder, she was able to fall asleep by the click of a finger, pulling her closer to my bare chest as i tried to get her to sleep - a knock at the door gains our attention

it was florianna, she had a small but tired smile on her face, her hair was still done up in the braids that jazzy had doe earlier in the morning before maeve had given birth to lennon.

"hey spence, hey jazzy," she spoke quietly as not to wake the two boys up as jaz and i smiled back, both of us responding

"hey flor," "hey florianna,"

florianna smiled, running her hand through jaz's hair and then her hands through mine as jaz was still resting against my chest, her legs most likely going numb from not having any movement for the past few hours.

"spence, the nurses are suggesting it's probably about time you, jaz, noah and ryder go back home. the last i heard, i think kenzie has been trying to get ahold of jazmyne. and, before you even think to argue with me spencer walter reid, i've already agreed on staying with jj overnight for the rest of the week to see if maeve wakes up and to also take care of lennon. besides, despite the fact you think you're hiding this pretty well, i damn well know how badly you're also wanting to be home, come on spence, listen to your daughter and go home! i've already spoken to hotch and rossi and they are just as worried about maeve as you are! i promise, if there are any, and i mean any updates maeve, you are the first person i'm calling, okay?" florianna hadn't ever been so stern with me before but, i knew she was right and i knew i shouldn't have been ignoring jaz in the way i had been so, i agreed, knowing that maeve was going to be safe with florianna and jj

"fine, but you...you promise if anything changes or happens, you ring me?" i double-check as my voice shakes, florianna comes closer, grabbing a tight hold of my hand as i jolt slightly, letting jaz slide off my lap as she gets her hoodie and then goes to wake up her two brothers as florianna nods her head

"i pinky swear spencer! anything that changes or what have you, you are the first person i'm ringing no matter what!" florianna spoke firmly as i nodded my head, believing her as i then slipped my hoodie on considering i had been shirtless the whole time, i then grabbed noah out of jaz's grip as she still held ryder tightly as he laid asleep on her shoulder, giving florianna a hug as we then walked out of the hospital room, jaz grabbing our overnight bag

for three days, jaz, noah, ryder and i had now been home and still we hadn't received any texts or calls from either florianna or jj in regards to maeve and her current state and, it honestly scared me. kenzie had been "grounded" by her biological mom, marnie, hence why we haven't been able to see kenzie. and, i hadn't even realised i had been so silent until morgan had come over to ask why jaz was crying whilst noah and ryder were perfectly fine.

"hey, reid, why is jazmyne crying - shane!" morgan went to ask me why jaz had been crying when he realised i zoned out

"huh?" i responded as morgan sighed, he knew, everyone at the bau knew how worried i've been about maeve and the younger kids that, i just haven't really been able to concentrate or really focus on anything like i'd usually be able to

"spence, we all know you're worried about maeve and the four kids but, what about jaz, she's your kid too. she's just as worried about her mom then you are. yes, she's the eldest but, that makes no difference! she's been crying for the past five minutes, i can't even calm her down, neither can emily. and that isn't normal at all, reid! please, help calm your daughter down, reid, she needs you due to the fact that her mom is sick and in the hospital right now, and apart from her uncles, aunties and other family members, you're the only parent she has right now!" morgan spoke softly but sternly with a sad look in his eyes as i gulped, nodding my head, he's right, i can't be selfish and ignore jaz just because she's the eldest

"sorry morgan," i sniffled, finally letting myself have a cry as well, morgan sighing sadly and sitting next to me to calm me down

"reid, don't apologise, your wife is in the hospital after giving birth to a wonderful baby girl after we all thought she was in the clear. it is totally normal and okay to cry and worry but, don't let that worry consume you. especially when you have four other kids, most especially your fifteen-year-old to look after as well," morgan spoke softly and comfortingly as he rubbed my back as i nodded my head, wiping away my tears with my hoodie sleeve as that's when jazmyne came in front of me

although she was fifteen, she climbed into my lap, she still felt like a little kid around me but we had no care in the world considering she was maeve and i's first kid.

"dad...dad, is...is momma gonna be okay? is she gonna wake up?" jazmyne sniffled as i gulped, biting my lip, doing whatever it was i could to stop my own tears from falling in front of her as i just hugged her tighter, pulling her closer as morgan just watched on

"of course, she will jaz, it just takes time okay? but i promise you, she'll wake up and when she does, we can have kenzie back over and she'll be a reid forever..." i said with a shaky voice as jazmyne smiled which made me smile although i was just as scared and uncertain as jazmyne was about maeve waking up

present-day - spencer's pov

"...dad, why did you lie to me when you said that mom was going to wake up and that kenzie was going to come home with us?!" jazmyne suddenly screams, i felt the tears in the back of my eyes suddenly well up

the last time jazmyne screamed at me was when she was still trying to come to terms with the fact that she had lost her mom when she was fifteen-years-old.

"i...i...jaz..." just as i went to explain to her as now everyone had locked eyes on jazmyne and me, she screams once more and then runs...no...she storms upstairs to her room, slamming the door shut as it frightens everyone due to the loud noise it made

"...just shut up dad! i hate you! i hate florianna! i hate everyone in this goddamn house! i just want my mom back! why is that so hard to understand?!" she screams as she then runs upstairs to her room after which she slams her door shut, all of us jumping in fear

as soon as jazmyne's door slams shut, a sob comes out of nowhere and left my mouth as i sunk from my standing position to the floor below, my legs not able to hold the weight of my body up anymore

"oh...spence..." florianna whispered as she ran over to comfort me and the tears don't stop, and neither do the loud wails that caused my entire body to shake

florianna pulls me into her arms and i cried into her chest as she tries to get me to calm down, i look up to notice morgan and jj had both agreed to go upstairs to see jazmyne as it had all of a sudden gone quiet. thanking every god i could think of that penelope and emily were playing with noah, ryder and lennon otherwise i'd rather die right now than see my other kids see their older sister in this sort of state.

"ssh, it's okay spence, let it all out. derek and jayje have gone upstairs to see if jaz is okay. everything is goign to be fine, babe. i know you miss maeve, and so do i but, we have to be as strong as we can for the kids, okay?" florianna sternly spoke as i nodded my head, sniffling as i got up off the floor and the both of us followed derek and jj up the stairs to jazmyne's room

florianna and i had made it to jazmyne's room where the door was closed, giving us the obvious that derek and jj had gotten through to her somehow and got her to allow them to talk to her.

morgan's pov

"...jazmyne, we know how much you're missing your mom. trust me, i was best friends with your mom and i miss maeve, as does everyone, however, what you just said to your dad was not nice, okay? you made him really upset, you realy gave him a fright when you yelled at him as well," softly, i reached my hand over to my niece who gulped, finally lifting her head up, making me smile in slight shock that i got through to her so quickly

then, jazmyne finally, lifted her head up and her face was littered with tears. i shared a sad look with jj as i had to figure this out.

"i...i'm sorry uncle derek but, i...i really miss mom! i mean, florianna's great, i really do love her but, knowing that she's mom's best friend just makes it hurt even more and i..." before jazmyne could continue, jj shushed her and calmed her down

"...shh, jaz, it's okay babe, we all know how much you're missing your mom, we all miss her just as much *soft giggle* however, as uncle derek said, you shouldn't have yelled at your dad like that. he is also still grieving the loss of your mom as well as trying to balance five kids on his own and having you yelling at him, telling him that you hate him isn't going to bring your mom back now is it?" jj was also soft but motherly in her tone, sitting in front of jaz, sitting criss-cross as she gulped, shaking her head no - it was shocking that jj was getting through to jazmyne the way she was

"no," she responded as she pressed her hands together, noticing how sweaty they were as i rubbed her back, giving me a small smile and then giving one to jj

"exactly jaz so, we're gonna stand up and just right outside, florianna and your dad are waiting and you're going to apologise and give your dad the biggest hug ever because he really needs it. he miss mom so much and, you are one of five remaining things he's got left of your mom alongside your siblings so, make sure you hug him as tightly as you can!" jj said with a small smile as jazmyne nodded her head, making jj and i smile - yes, we actually got through to her!

we then all stood up as jazmyne opened the door, florianna and spencer were outside waiting as jazmyne ran straight over to spencer as he catches her. straight away, they both broke down into tears as i bit my lip, stopping myself from crying.

"i...i'm so sorry daddy! i...i don't hate you, i just really miss mom and with her and kenzie not being here, it just hurts. and i'm sorry to you as well, florianna. i don't hate you either, it's just, knowing you are mom's best friend makes it hurt even more as it reminds me all the time of what i've lost and it...it scares me that i'm gonna lose you and i...i don't want that," jazmyne sobs out into her dad's shoulder as i share a look with jj as we sigh quietly - jazmyne was still learning about what this word, grief, meant and all of her aunties and uncles in the bau were very familiar with that term after dealing with so much death due to our jobs

"thank you for apologising jazzy but, it is okay. i know you don't hate me because i understand that this is all due to missing your mom. i miss her too, we all do, every single day. but, please, don't yell at me like that ever again, okay? if you want to scream, the best idea is to scream into a pillow. remember the lavender pillow that mom gave to you for your birthday? use that, trust me, it works and i do it almost all the time before i go to bed, i just scream into my pillow and smell your mom's perfume and, i feel ten times better," spencer smiles, pulling out of the hug as jazmyne smiles back, wiping her tears away as she nods her head

two years ago - spencer's pov

"...where's my wife?! where is she?!" i scream, tears streaming down my face as i try to figure out where she went

for context, my wife wasn't in the same hospital room she was in last week when florianna and jj were staying here and, no messages were sent from florianna to me about a room change so i was furious - not at florianna but at the hospital as usually, you'd think that they'd be the ones to contact you about a room change, not your best friend but, apparently, you get neither!

"sir...sir, can you please calm down? who is it that you are trying to find?" a nurse suddenly runs in front of me and i slightly calm down, i gulp as i see my hands shake in front of me before i respond

"my wife, maeve reid, she's been in room 392b for about, ah, i don't know, a few months in and out since giving birth to our newborn daughter, lennon emily reid. but, when i just then went inside to visit her, there was no one in there! is my wife okay? we...we have five kids, two fifteen-year-olds, a little seven-year-old, a five-year-old and a newborn together! please, tell me that maeve is okay?!" i say as my breathing speeds up as i feel another round of tears well in my eyes as i try to keep them from streaming down my cheeks

i then hear footsteps come up behind me, a hand pulling me back, i instantly recognise it as morgan. i feel my breathing start to regulate properly, knowing that my bau family were here for me.

"okay, what's your name sir and, who are these people behind you?" the kind nurse whose nametag introduced her as dr rachel johnson asks as i look behind me before responding

"i...i'm dr spencer reid, maeve's husband, i have four of my five children and i-uh..."

"--we're the rest of his family, doctor johnson if you please, we'd really like it if we could go in and find out what's wrong with maeve, please, that is all we're asking for!" morgan interrupts as i smile at the ground before i looked back up as doctor johnson nodded her head

"okay, my apologies, come with me guys. in regards to the reason why we've moved maeve from room 392b to just a couple of rooms down from this waiting room was i think due to some issues that were happening that i am not fully aware of so, apologies for that. however, because i am only just a registered nurse, you'll have to wait until maeve's midwife and surgeon who was actually the two managing and taking care of her, arrive to find out what it is that's wrong with her. so, i'll unfortunately, have to ask you all to just, as patiently as you can, wait here until one of maeve's surgeons or midwives is able to give you the information you need. thank you for being so patient dr reid and company," doctor johnson was professional as she could be as she was then whisked away into another waiting room across the hall

i then fell back into the chair behind me as i heard crying - i turned to see it was my daughter jazmyne, she was crying into her knees as my heart shattered. her brothers were sound asleep and had absolutely no clue what was going on. i moved closer to jazmyne as i notice the rest of her uncles and family looking over at jazmyne and me, and i could easily tell that they were heartbroken as well. jazmyne leans her head into my chest and i pull her closer as she sobs. i bite my lip to stop my own cries despite the difficulty that was.

"ssh, jaz, it's okay babe! mom's going to be just fine, okay?" i try to calm jazmyne down as her cries just get louder - this is the one thing about parenting that i struggle with, watching and hearing my children cry and not knowing exactly how to comfort them or cry with them

morgan and i share a look, morgan knowing the exact look of wishing he could take the pain away. he bites his lip as i know he wanted to cry now as well, jj had started crying long ago but, morgan didn't want to cry. he wanted to stay strong for his nieces and nephews and, i don't blame him as i felt the same way.

"when...when will she wake up? i miss mom!" jaz sobs as i close my eyes, hoping it was all just a dream and that we were on a beach or on holiday with the family, not in the hospital

"i...i don't know jaz, i really don't know and i am so sorry that i can't give you a proper answer!" i respond tearfully as jaz sobs again and i feel awful as that was when doctor johnson came back over to us with somewhat of a hopeful look on her face which made my heart race

"ahem, i...i am so sorry if this is something i'm interrupting but,dr reid, is it okay if i just grab you for a second, privately? one of jaz's uncles can take her and the boys but, i just really need to tell you this in private due to the children..." doctor johnson spoke in a hushed sort of tone as i gulped, nodding my head as i released my grip on jazmyne, morgan and jj immediately grabbing her, jj's fingers massaging her head as rossi and hotch watched over noah and ryder, whilst prentiss was on the phone to kenzie's biological mom giving her updates about maeve's condition- doctor johnson leading the both of us into a hallway a couple of doors down from the waiting room

"...so, what's up with maeve, has there been any new news about her from her midwives or surgeons?" i ask as i bite the inside of my lip as doctor johnson takes a second which worries me slightly

"that's the thing, dr reid. when maeve was pregnant with lennon, it was always known from the beginning that it would be a troublesome pregnancy. i also understand that you guys were told that as soon as lennon was to be delivered that maeve would be fine and that within twenty-four to forty-eight hours that she'd be discharged along with your daughter however, that obviously was not true as maeve has been here for way longer than expected. and that is because, something irregular with maeve's blood was detected and, it looked as if it was a tear which has caused internal bleeding---" this was all too much for me to comprehend but, maeve's going to survive right? i mean, she has to, we have five kids together for fuck sake, we have jazmyne, kenzie, noah, ryder and lennon together!

"---wha...what? but, maeve's okay, right? like, she's gonna survive? she...she's going to wake up?" i ask, feeling myself panic, please tell me that maeve's going to wake up, i can't have my five children, especially little lennon grow up without their mam

"just as i was about to explain before you cut me off, dr reid, there is a high percentage rate of her not waking up," my heart fell with a thud into my chest as she said that and my eyes widen

"do you know the percentage of maeve waking up?" i asked as tears brimmed my eyes, i mean, is there even going to be a survival rate for maeve considering her death rate is already so high but still unknown

"i actually have no idea dr reid, i was not told. however, because we don't think maeve is going to last through the night without complications, we think it's best if you go visit her, her room number is 583b. i suggest you also grab all of the children and the aunties and uncles. of course, the younger boys, noah and ryder aren't going to fully understand but, even if jazmyne and kenzie, if you can get her here, get confused as well, try to make it somewhat easier for all of them to understand but if you can't make them understand, i am more than happy to explain it to them. but, i...uh, i'm terribly sorry about this dr reid, all of us who've been working directly and even those indirectly with maeve were really hoping for it to end in any way but this way and, i'm sorry we can't have it end positively with maeve..." i feel my heart shatter and drown as i try to come to terms with what doctor johnson just revealed as she then speaks up again

"...oh, and before i forget, for a few moments, it did look as though she was responding with the movements of limbs but, it wasn't anything to suggest that it was an improvement because almost straight away, she went back down. but, besides that, if you'll come back with me, i can walk with you and tell the rest of the family about maeve so you don't have to and then, i can lead you guys to 583b and say your final goodbyes to her," doctor johnson spoke professionally, without skipping a beat as i nodded my head, a single tear slipping down my cheek as my worst fear had come true - my best friend dying on me, leaving me as a single father to our five children

"thank you doctor johnson," was all that i could muster saying from my mouth as i follow behind doctor johnson as we walk back to the group, noticing that kenzie hadn't arrived like her mom said she would be and the doctor breaks the news to them

straight away, jazmyne runs over to me, seeing her aunty jj struggle to hold back her tears with uncle derek right next to her, jj's husband, will, on derek's other side. jazmyne then looked up at me with sad and confused eyes as my heart broke, again.

"dad... why is aunty jj crying? and why isn't kenzie here with us?" jazmyne questioned in confusion as my heart shatters and i bite my lip and take a deep breath - ready to tell her when doctor johnson steps in instead

"jaz..."

"...jazmyne, sweetheart, the reason why some of your family members are crying is that something has happened to your mommy since giving birth to your sister, lennon," doctor johnson started as jazmyne tilted her head to the side to look for kenzie only to see that she wasn't there and turned her head back, bunching up to her uncle and aunty watching what was happening

"what do you mean doctor johnson? is mom okay? does kenzie know about this?" jazmyne asks as my heart cracks - yes, she was fifteen and a big girl, as is kenzie which is why she should be here, but in this situation, i had never seen one of my girls look so small and afraid in their lives, turning to look away, i look back to notice that derek had wrapped his arm around me - his partner savannah watching over noah and ryder as they both fell asleep

"remember when dad mentioned that mommy was sick?" aunty jj shakily jumps in, wiping her tears away as she moves closer to jazmyne as she nods her head, aunty jj going down to her knees to level with jazmyne as they hug each other as doctor johnson continues

"yeah...but, you're not listening to me, what about kenzie? does she know about this?" jazmyne mumbles with a head nod after she panics about kenzie not being here, doctor johnson taking over

"...well, jazmyne, because you and your siblings' mommy is sick, she has been having to stay here in this hospital like baby lennon had to, to make sure she could get better, however, there is a chance that due to the sickness your mommy has, it is doubtful that she's going to wake up again..." doctor johnson pauses again as jazmyne and aunty jj look at each other and then around at everyone else - jazmyne then making eye contact with all of her uncles and aunties whilst jj just looks down to the floor

"...wait, what? why wouldn't mommy wake up? she...she has to... what about baby lennon? what about me and kenzie? what about noah and ryder? what about dad? what's going on..." jazmyne started to panic as aunty jj tries to calm her down by pulling her closer to her body

"...jazmyne, sweetheart, mom isn't going to wake up, she's going to die..." although everyone else apart from my kids were adults, still hearing doctor johnson say that maeve, the mother of my children was going to die was still hard to hear as jazmyne starts to whimper, jj once again, trying to calm her down

"...mom's not going to come home, dad?" jazmyne questioned, looking towards me, her voice small as that was the moment that all of our hearts broke

"mhm, mom's not coming home, jaz," i whispered as tears streamed down my cheeks and jj let go of jazmyne, who ran over to me as i picked her up, both of us sobbing whilst her brothers noah and ryder reacted differently - the two boys latched on to each other but neither cried just yet and lennon, she was having her last few hospital evaluations in the nicu

present-day -spencer's pov

it was a school day for four of five of my children however, for jazmyne and kenzie, since they were both in junior year, their school teacher had allowed her students to bring in the parent/parents of the student/students so they could all share about the occupation of their parent as a way to inspire the other junior students who were about to start their senior year. and, obviously, although both girls didn't want to also bring florianna, who was also an fbi agent, jazmyne and kenzie just brought me in as florianna needed to take care of lennon back home, the baby of the family. we were having a discussion in class about something in regard to the work i do as an fbi agent with the bau when a school friend, macie had questioned why maeve hadn't come since i was the only single parent in the session which got kenzie also wondering where maeve was.

"...jaz, kenzie, what about your dad's job? he's still with the bau, right? also, where's your guys' mom, maeve?" macie, a best friend of jazmyne and kenzie questioned as my eyes widened, i sworn i had told kenzie's mom, marnie, who was also the girls' school teacher not to mention maeve as recently, jazmyne hadn't been coping well so, i was scared at how she would react and in turn, how kenzie was going to react since i'm guessing marnie still hadn't told her

both jazmyne and kenzie's heads shoot up from their early junior certificate testing that the two sisters had both been working as i couldn't distinguish how jazmyne was feeling but, i could tell that kenzie was confused. however, neither girl cried, they didn't scream. jazmyne was strong and confident but then, kenzie because of her confusion, asked since she was also wondering where maeve was. and jazmyne answered without hesitation which shocked me and kenzie. not because i thought she couldn't do it, but, because jazmyne answered so straightforwardly knowing that it was definite at this point that marnie had decided to just not mention it at all to kenzie. and, this was something that adults my age struggle with and, jazmyne and kenzie have both only just turned seventeen.

"oh, she died two years ago kenzie and macie, she never got to leave the hospital. the blood loss she suffered after she had given birth to lennon was too much and, the nurses couldn't control it in time and it was too late. we would've thought marnie would have told you, kenz?" jazmyne spoke softly, macie spacing out as jazmyne shrugged her shoulders empathetically to kenzie who looked as though it was the first time she was being told this news from her friend

"oh..." kenzie responded as marnie interrupted when kenzie was just about to apologise

"...oh my gosh! i am so sorry jazmyne and dr reid, class and parents please, continue with whatever it is you were doing..." marnie spoke out loud before moving closer to me, my two daughters and macie who wasn't even listening and engaged in the conversation anymore and continued

"...that was so rude of kenzie to ask you! she knows to not talk about it, most especially during class, jazmyne, dr reid, are you two okay?" marnie hushed harshly before calming down and rushing over to my two girls to make sure they were fine, both of them smiling and looking identical to their mom as they nodded their heads

although she wasn't engaged anymore, macie decided to nudge jazmyne to speak up, "it's okay mrs nelson, i'm okay and so is my dad. i mean, if kenzie didn't know and wants to know, she has that right. it is okay to ask things like that sometimes as long as it doesn't get too personal and even then, have you met me and kenzie's dad? but, thank you for asking if we're okay i guess but, seriously, we're totally fine, please, don't baby us!" jazmyne smiled as that shocked the entire class, including kenzie and macie but, i couldn't hide my smile - both of my girls were definitely maeve and i's girls, and yes, i'm talking about kenzie as well as jazmyne

getting called out by one of her students definitely was embarrassing for marnie but, she picked herself up and continued, "well, i...i'm still going to make kenzie apologise, alright jaz? asking someone where their mother or father is, is not okay, and she needs to learn that, even at seventeen, she needs to learn that not every single one of her friends has both parents in their lives as she does and she needs to know that and be sensitive towards it," marnie splutters out as jazmyne and kenzie nod their heads as they go back to the early junior certificate for next year when they were both eighteen alongside macie when marnie pulls me aside

she looked sort of mad that her "daughter" asked jazmyne and me about maeve after macie had mentioned it but, to be honest, did marnie even explain it properly or at all to kenzie as it's been two years since maeve died? or, did she just forget about that bit like it was nothing because kenzie was too young? and just decided to tell kenzie that maeve was just going to stay sleeping in a hospital bed for a while? then i notice the face that kenzie made when her mom said that she knew not to talk about it and how it really looked as if kenzie legitimately had no clue about maeve's death two years on.

"i am so sorry..." just as marnie was going to splutter out a useless apology on behalf of her very capable seventeen-year-old daughter, i stopped her

"...marnie, just stop for a second. did you seriously tell kenzie at all as to what happened to maeve or did you just expect that as she got older that she'd find out on her own as to why she never went to the hospital or to the funeral to help her best friend and sister say the eulogy that she had helped jazmyne write like we agreed she would?" i was stern in my approach not just as an fbi agent but as a father as marnie looks at me in shock as if i couldn't raise my voice at anyone on my own without maeve or without crying over it

"wha...what, of course, i did, that's--"

"--no, she didn't, dad," kenzie's sweet voice came up from behind as i gave the girl a proud smile after she stood up for herself in front of her biological mom - but also smiling due to being called 'dad'

"she refused to even let me ask about you guys for an entire year before she could even mention maeve because she didn't want to get upset and "cry" over a friend which, i'm sorry miss nelson but, what the actual fuck?" kenzie was angry as the lunch bell then rang

the other students and parents apart from jazmyne, kenzie and macie leaving as marnie tried so hard to make what her own biological daughter was saying to seem like a lie when really, as an fbi agent with the bau, i believed my daughter more than her biological mom. it was also telling when kenzie called her "mom" by her teacher name rather than "mom" but called me dad.

"really, kenzie? she never mentioned anything to you about what happened to maeve during lennon's birth? even though emily made sure that marnie would give you those updates after constantly being on the phone to update her about it? so, the first time you actually hear about it is from jazmyne and macie?" i questioned with my arms crossed over as both my daughters as well as macie nod their heads as i turn back around to look at marnie who looked as though she had seen a ghost - in which, she bloody damn will in a second and it won't be maeve's happy ghost either!

"yes, i am serious dad, miss nelson hasn't ever mentioned once why florianna has now been living with you guys and why maeve hasn't been around when i've stayed over and why i didn't go to the hospital or the funeral even though i was supposed to because i wasn't even told about the hospital or that the funeral was for maeve in the first place, even when i helped jaz write the eulogy, it was never specified who i was writing it for," kenzie looked at me with teary eyes as my heart shattered for her in the same way it did two years ago - why would marnie not even tell her "daughter" about the loss of her adoptive mom?

kenzie then started to cry, obviously very overwhelmed from the situation earlier and now only just finding out that for the last two years, her adoptive mother had been decseased and she had no clue the entire time. without hesitation, jazmyne and macie rushed over and pulled their best friend in for a hug whilst marnie just stayed stagnant and did nothing to even try and comfort her "daughter".

comforting their sister and best friend, jazmyne and macie hugged kenzie tightly, jazmyne speaking up, "oh, kenzie, it's okay. it's not your fault you didn't know, i should have realised that miss nelson wasn't telling you and i should have then told you myself and figured out a way to have you at the hospital and the funeral. i just assumed you knew already since macie knew parts and parcel of it already but not the full picture," jazmyne whispered as macie nodded her head as they hugged kenzie as closely as they could as i stopped marnie from coming any closer - truthfully, i don't think kenzie wanted to even look at her ever again, thanking god that it was still lunch break

"no, marnie, stay away. i don't even think kenzie wants to look at you and i wouldn't blame here if she'd never want to be seen next to you ever again. especially considering how long you kept this news from her knowing that you'd be losing her because of me and maeve's adoption of her. why on earth did you refuse to tell her? she deserved to know about the death of her adoptive mom just as much as jazmyne and the boys did!" i was mad, fuming at what marnie had done to kenzie

"dr reid, mackenzie's my child, you can't stop me from comforting her..."

"...yes he can, miss nelson, dad's right, i don't even want to look at you, let alone be seen with you ever again, isn't it obvious by the fact that i'm referring to him as dad and you as nothing but my school teacher? in all honesty, i don't even want to live with you anymore, i want to live with my adopted family because then that means i'll actually be told things straight away and i won't have to wait years before i'm actually told things that are important like the death of my adopted mom and i'll actually be taken care of properly because my adopted dad actually loves me and he makes it his priority to make sure all of his children are taken care of, no wonder why his an amazing fbi agent and amazing dad, he doesn't blame his shortcomings on his tough job like you do even though it's obvious as to which job is harder and, just in case you didn't know, it's the fbi agent job that's harder, not the teacher job. and unlike your lies, my adopted family actually wanted me at maeve's funeral and at the hospital, and so did i, why do you think i helped jaz write the bloody eulogy they were going to say? why do you think i wanted to know what emily was talking to you about on the phone that day? because i wanted to know what was going on with maeve. you even said i could go and say that eulogy with jazmyne however when the day did come, you left the house without even giving me any knowledge that you were leaving and that it was time to go. like i mentioned earlier, i didn't even know that the funeral was for maeve and that i was helping jaz say a eulogy for her because you never told me it was maeve's funeral, to begin with, because you didn't even tell me that she had died or that she was in hospital and that was why emily was constantly calling you with updates. yet, i still waited for two nearly three hours for you to come into my room to tell me if it was time to go or not. however, you never came back until the funeral was over and i had no goddamn idea that it was over and that it was maeve's funeral. what the fuck is wrong with you that you couldn't even tell me something as simple as the information that my adopted mother had died. was it because you knew you were quickly losing me due to the successful adoption and that you knew you would have to let me leave you and you hated that you'd no longer be able to hide things from me so you did it for one last time but with the most horrendous thing to lie about because you thought that maybe if you lied about it that i still wouldn't be getting adopted by the reid's?" kenzie was a strong girl, a very strong girl however, not once until now did we think she was going to be able to stand up for her own biological mother like that

no one knew how to respond so, no one did. jazmyne, macie and i just smiled at how proud we were of kenzie for standing up for herself, her friends and me in the way she did. and, just like we imagined, marnie was shocked, unable to comprehend her biological daughter and her student because don't forget, marnie was also her school teacher, just exposed her and stood up to her. and, also, just so you know, me and maeve, had won full custody of her "daughter" and marnie was not granted any visitations at all. oh, and on top of that, due to florianna and i being fbi agents, that wasn't at all the reason why we won the court case - for that fact was only mentioned once throughout the entire court hearing and mackenzie was now mackenzie reid and was able to move in with us.

two years ago - prentiss's pov

the one day that none of us was ready for suddenly jumped up on us. maeve's funeral. due to being jazmyne and mackenzie's aunty, i had the job of making sure my niece jazmyne was okay whilst rossi and hotch took care of the boys and baby lennon whilst florianna was taking care of spencer. although i was also at my breaking point emotionally because kenzie, maeve and spencer's adopted daughter hadn't arrived, just like spencer was, i had to make sure i stayed strong for my niece jaz and also for kenzie even though she wasn't here and most likely has no idea due to her dumbfuck of a biological mother.

*knock knock* there was a small sounding knock at my bedroom door, knowing it came from jaz, i let her come in. i was then taken aback when i saw jazmyne and kenzie's school best friend, macie

"come in, what's up my prince...princesses?" i say as my back is facing them as i finish fixing my hair although i knew it would be a crows nest after spencer's finished crying into it at the funeral

"you're the last one ready, aunty emily, we need to leave," jaz's hoarse voice rang out as my heart broke and my eyes widened as i turned around to face the two fifteen-year-olds who were dressed in their very best black dresses, their hair is done perfectly by either penelope or florianna with some suede black boots

i then questioned why derek or hotch didn't come up, why did they get jazmyne and macie to come upstairs to tell me?

"oh...oh, thanks jaz, why...why didn't they get uncle derek or uncle aaron to come up and get me?" i ask, patting the bed down for jazmyne and macie to come and sit down next to me for a moment before having to leave

macie then spoke up with a shrug, "we don't know, apparently it was because kenzie's stupid biological mom, marnie, our school teacher, had shown up and they were trying to deal with her and, jazmyne and i were the only two who were free to come upstairs to tell you," macie sighed, with a shrug of her shoulders as jazmyne nodded her head as my eyes widened again, why was marnie here? i mean, kenzie was supposed to come but, not her mother, hence why i was so confused as to why macie had come upstairs with jazmyne and not kenzie

"oh, well, has marnie left then?" i ask as both girls shake their heads, jazmyne speaking up this time

"nah, we think she has somehow convinced dad to let her come but only if she stays right at the back and doesn't do anything stupid, she can stay," jazmyne shrugs as a disgusted look shows up on both jazmyne and macie's faces as i try not to laugh - yeah as a bau family, we weren't really a fan of kenzie's biological mother depsite the fact that kenzie was the complete opposite - an absolute angel"

"okay but, we should probably head downstairs now then girls..." just as i went to stand up, jazmyne pulled my hand back down as i gave the two girls worried looks

"what's wrong jaz and macie? we need to go and say goodbye to your mom and maeve," i responded as the two girls just looked up at me with their sad, devastated puppy dog eyes as my heart broke

"we're not ready..." jazmyne responded as the girls looked back at me as i pulled them both in for a hug and we stayed in that hug for a little while before the three of us stood up, me holding jazmyne's hand whilst macie latched hands with jazmyne and we walked downstairs where everyone else who was attending the funeral was waiting

"...aw, girls, i know you're not. trust me, i'm not ready to say a final goodbye to my best friend either so, i can't imagine what it feels like for you jazmyne and your brothers having to say your final goodbyes to your mom and, macie, having to say goodbye to your best friend's mom," i whispered as we then walked downstairs

i sat down in my seat in the church of the funeral with macie and jazmyne on each side of me, spencer on jazmyne's side and florianna on macie's as we waited for the next speech. which was one of maeve's siblings and then after that it was jazmyne, macie and kenzie's turn, who was the biological daughter of marnie and was supposed to be here but, she was nowhere to be seen. kenzie was the girl who had helped jazmyne write her eulogy for their (jaz and kenzie's) mom and expressed her interest in wanting to attend today's service but, it seemed as though kenzie wasn't aware that it was for maeve since her biological mom, marnie, was notorious for not telling important things to kenzie straight away, usually telling her months or even years later.

one of maeve's sisters had just finished their speech and, whilst it broke hearts, hearing the priest introduce the next speech being spoken by maeve's two eldest daughters and a family friend, jazmyne, kenzie and macie, was even more heartbreaking to everyone in the church. and that was because they all knew these three girls as fifteen-year-olds, they were just kids and they were already having to speak about the death of their mother and the mother of her friends.

and when it did come to jazmyne, kenzie and macie's turn, kenzie was still nowhere to be found and it really worried jazmyne and macie but, that was when i realised that marnie had definitely not told kenzie at all about maeve's death. and just knowing that she didn't tell her daughter but still had the audacity to come to my best friend's funeral infuriated me because she knew her biological daughter was involved in the funeral but didn't even tell her who it was for and therefore didn't allow her to attend and i think i know why.and it's because she knows that kenzie will no longer be in her custody anymore and be able to call her, her daughter anymore. but it still enraged me that marnie did this.

"...macie, jaz, what are you girls doing? it's your turn to speak about your mom and maeve," i whispered as the two girls whimpered softly, their hands not leaving each other or mine as jazmyne spoke up ever so quietly

"where...where's kenzie, emily? she's meant to be here with macie and me! she's meant to help us with the eulogy, she was the one who wrote it for us because we couldn't do it ourselves one day at school! but, kenzie's nowhere to be found but marnie is still here!" jazmyne stuttered out as my heart breaks for my two nieces and macie, i don't know where kenzie is either but, i have a pretty good assumption that marnie left the house without even letting kenzie know after the fifteen-year-old had properly spent ages getting ready for the funeral and was still waiting for the moment her biological mom was going to walk into her room and get her, not knowing it wasn't actually going to happen

"i...i'm not sure girls but, it looks like you two are going to have to go up together, just the two of you. you just need to be brave and do it just the two of you and, if you need, i can come up with you?" i spoke softly, comforting them both as jazmyne and macie nodded their heads, putting their bravest faces on

"okay," jazmyne and macie respond, their bravest faces on as i stand up with them, holding jazmyne's hand whilst macie holds one of jazmyne's fingers as we walk up to the podium, jazmyne and macie holding hands as i stand back a couple of steps behind them

i then notice spencer as well as florianna who are both smiling towards the two best friends as i just spoke a couple of words before jazmyne and macie's eulogy.

"hello everyone, just before one of maeve's eldest daughter's and best friend say their eulogy, i am emily prentiss. i'm one of the aunties to the reid children and one of maeve's best friends, just on behalf of the entire reid family and extended, i just want to say a huge thank you for coming. i know funerals aren't everyone's favourite thing to be doing on a day as unusually pretty as today in virginia but, we have to. it's what maeve would have wanted and, i'm glad we were able to come together in the way we have to celebrate a wonderful woman like maeve. i say this because, she's honestly the perfect woman and mother to her five beautiful children and a wonderful wife to her husband, spencer. so, once again, just a small thank you all for coming and now, i'm going to pass the mic on to maeve and spencer's eldest daughter jazmyne and her best friend macie to say the eulogy that they had prepared for their mom and friend's mom," i managed to keep it together as i was applauded before i moved back a couple of steps as jazmyne and macie moved up to the microphone, still holding hands to comfort one another

"hi everybody, just like my aunty emily just mentioned, i'm jazmyne lorde reid, the eldest daughter of maeve and spencer reid..."

"...and i'm macie johnson, the best friend of the reid's and although this isn't exactly what me and the daughter's, jazmyne and mackenzie ever dreamt of doing at such ages of fifteen, having to say goodbye to their mom, they are however very grateful that they have all of us guys here to help them and their family to get through it. so, umm, jazmyne's just going to say a few words in regards to who her and mackenzie's mother was as a person and how amazing she was because, jazmyne doesn't think she personally told her enough and then, i'm going to speak after her with mackenzie's part of the eulogy since mackenzie couldn't make it today..." macie trailed off but was a wonderful speaker, as was jazmyne, exactly like maeve, which is why i think it was so hard for everyone to hear the two girls say a eulogy at her mom and best friend's mom's funeral as jazmyne moved forward to the microphone

"originally, my sister, kenzie to help us since she had actually written this eulogy for me but, she actually isn't here like macie just said so, it'll just be me and macie so, here i go," jazmyne paused as she rolled her shoulders back and continued as me and macie smiled at her

"i always loved telling people, as did mackenzie, that our mom was maeve reid and that our dad was dr spencer reid. i loved it because mom was a geneticist and dad is an fbi agent with the behavioural analysis unit. for those who weren't aware, i am maeve's biological daughter and was actually from a previous relationship that she had before she and dad met and started dating. whilst in technicality, i'm spencer's "step-daughter", i was actually adopted by him before they got married so, i'm spencer's daughter no matter what. to be honest, looking back at it now, considering how young i was when mom and dad got married and then had me become an older sister at like just about two years old, it makes sense why i am the way i am. i mean, i think people find it difficult to believe that i am the love potion of a geneticist and an fbi agent, no way! well, i'm sorry to tell you guys but, i...i was, kind of, and i still am and so are the rest of my siblings so, sorry *giggles*. however, that...that's not at all the point i'm trying to make despite how it might sound like..."

"...i only wanted to mention that because, it was and still is something i'm so proud of because, my whole childhood, i found everything my parents did to be amazingly cool even though dad wasn't home as much as mom was. mom was more of a caretaker than a geneticist since she retired shortly after she had me. she loved to take care of people even if she had known the person for less than ten minutes, she'd be coddling them and calling them her child. and this is when kenzie would come into the eulogy but because she isn't here, it means i have to say it..." jazmyne paused again before she took in a deep breath and continued

"...when i first introduced my first ever school friend, kenzie, to my parents, they were extremely excited because for the last few years before i had met kenzie, i was doing what was basically homeschool since i'm older one that would sometimes join our dad with cases across the country so, when i got to the age of homeschooling and becoming a bit lonely, mom and dad made the collective decision to have me in quantico with mom during the school term and then have me come over to help dad and the bau with cases during the long breaks like spring break and winter break. this meant that going to an actual school and meeting new people was kind of scary because i only had myself since i didn't spend a lot of time there to form proper friendships with the other students my age. even scarier when it's considered that throughout the whole of america, me and my siblings were extremely popular as were our unborn ones because we're the daughters of dr spencer reid from the bau, meaning that i was slightly worried that anytime i tried to make friends, i'd only meet kids who'd only want to talk to me because of my dad..."

"...however, it didn't really do that, especially when on the first day of my new school, i met kenzie nelson, the daughter of our teacher, mrs marnie nelson, who we were going to have for a good few years of our schooling. kenzie was a sweet, kind, quiet, shy but pocket rocket of a girl. i knew straight away, that she was going to be my new best friend, if not my third sister even though i do now have my third sister, my beautiful baby lennon grace filan,"

"and, going back to the point of mom being a caretaker, the literal second that me and kenzie walked into the house after school, mom was already calling kenzie "sweetheart", "babe", "my darling girl", all the things that she called me, her actual daughter and, i don't think i could lie and say my heart didn't flutter in happiness because it really did," jazmyne started to falter as macie gave her a little nudge as jazmyne nodded her head and macie took over

"and now, jazmyne knew how dad felt every time mom spoke those sweet nicknames to him *coos and awws* kenzie was already a part of the reid family and she hadn't even been properly introduced to mom, dad who was off from any cases for a couple of weeks and noah, my only brother at the time," macie took over and recovered perfectly from jazmyne's falter as she continued

"jazmyne said all of this and kenzie is too because mom really loved people and she loved being the mom to those whose mom's didn't love them as she did. it was her true calling for her to be a mom and jazmyne and kenzie, along with our siblings, are so glad that we had the opportunity to call her our mom for fifteen, eight and seven years on this earth that we've had with her. and, also, maeve, i think you'll be happy when we tell you that the reid's has finally sorted out that custody battle as kenzie has now been granted permission to start the move back to her house with the reid's so, i think you can stop hovering over mrs nelson and giving her a hard time even though we all know deep down that she deserves it, it really is time to stop as, legally, spencer and the reid's can take kenzie from her whenever he feels like he needs too *everyone giggles*..."

"we love you so much maeve, thank you, once again, for being the best mom to jazmyne, mackenzie, noah, ryder, lennon and all of our friends, love jazmyne, macie and kenzie," macie finished her best friend's part of the eulogy with so much bravery and poise after her best friend faltered that, i don't even think the two girls needed me up here with them for moral support as macie shakes her head towards the priest, saying that she didn't need to say her or kenzie's part of the eulogy since jazmyne's part basically covered the things she was going to speak about anyway

we then walk off the stage and back to our seats in the front row pew where spencer and florianna gave jazmyne, macie and me hugs.

"...you two girls did amazing!" florianna whispered as jazmyne and macie both smiled as i agreed, all of us then sitting down

"we did it for their mom," i smiled as jazmyne and macie nodded their heads in agreement, jazmyne's tears disappearing as we all held hands and hugged as the rest of the service happened

present time - spencer's pov

it was christmas, which means it is the hardest time of the year for jazmyne, mackenzie, the boys and me, especially since maeve's death. jazmyne had just lost her love and excitement for christmas completely and, the last christmas and now this one, it broke my heart to see the bright hazel sparkles of her eyes be dull on christmas morning when her other siblings, mackenzie, noah, ryder and baby lennon were always so excited. except, strangely, this year, the sparkle in her beautiful hazel eyes for the first time in two, nearly three years, came back.

"daddio!" jazmyne's mature, seventeen-year-old voice was heard down the hall, calling me her "daddio" like the old days, making my heart flutter as florianna and i looked at each other in confusion at jazmyne

florianna and i started dating after being told to by maeve in a letter she had written to me and the family that doctor johnson had given to me after the family had said our final goodbyes on the day maeve passed away. maeve made me promise that i'd move on and start dating florianna, making sure that it wasn't forced by grief and that it was organic as her only two rules. and also to make sure i gave jazmyne, mackenzie, noah and ryder the chance of having a motherly figure in their life again and for baby lennon to have a motherly figure in her life straight up since she wasn't even a full day old when maeve died.

"yes, my darling?" i responded, slipping on a festive tee shirt as normally, jazmyne wouldn't be this happy on christmas morning and florianna giggles, rolling back over to sleep again as i roll my eyes

"it's christmas!" she yells out, almost waking up the entire house, florianna and i hosting the rest of the bau family this year, as we were all staying in quantico for christmas, all running into florianna and i's room to make sure that jazmyne was okay

"yes jazmyne, it is christmas, what's got you so happy?" i giggled as she gave me an innocent but still smug-like smile which confused me - my seventeen-year-old, one of, was still a child at heart, exactly like her daddio

"come with me, daddio!" she then said with a snigger as she grabbed my hand as i turned back to florianna who was fast asleep - how the heck has she been able to sleep through this entire thing?

"o...kay?" i questioned with a small giggle as she giggled as well and we ran down the hall into uncle derek and aunty savannah's room and i was confused

"what are you doing jazmyne? what's gotten into you sweetpea, you haven't been this excited for christmas since momma died, what's up, are you sure you're okay?" i questioned, giving my eldest daughter a worried look as jazmyne rolls her eyes and giggled

and just as i go to look at her uncle derek for help, he puts his hands up and leaves with savannah - god dammit derek and savannah! why is everyone against me today? it's christmas for christ's sake!

"come on daddio! it's been two, nearly three years since mom's died and since florianna started becoming our mother figure and, i don't hate christmas anymore. it doesn't hurt the way it used to now that mom isn't with us anymore. just, daddio, trust me, i've got it all under control but, before i go, could you please wake up florianna and gather the entire family downstairs by the tree to do presents as i can't wait any longer!" jazmyne explained as i smiled, i was happy to hear that jazmyne was no longer upset about christmas so, i did as she said and i let to go wake up florianna

"okay, i trust you're telling the truth and not just saying it because you want to impress everyone and fake it but, i'll get florianna and we'll be down in around three or four minutes," i smile, tapping jazmyne's back lightly as she squeals - yep, she's still that same little girl she was years ago even though she's seventeen, nearly eighteen

the entire bau family and their partners, myself, mackenzie, noah, ryder and lennon were now downstairs as we awaited on jazmyne. for some odd reason, she was taking her time but, just as florianna was going to go up to grab her, jazmyne came bundling down from the staircase as we all looked at each other in confusion, lennon resting in my hold, what is jazmyne doing?

"jazmyne, sweetness, what are you doing?" i giggled, lennon laughing as well as jazmyne grabbed a bag of presents and handed them out to the group, leaving one for florianna

then, this bombshell that none of us was expecting but was everything we wanted, dropped from her mouth.

"mom, ever since momma started deteriorating in the hospital after giving birth to lennon, you were there for the entire family and even before that frightful day, you were there for us. and, because it's christmas i thought it was the perfect time to say i really love you a lot and, after talking about it with mackenzie, noah and ryder since lennon is still too young to comprehend any of this, we've all decided that we're ready to start calling you our mom..." jazmyne smiled, not once stuttering as we all looked at jazmyne in shock, expect for my other kids who clearly knew about this christmas present for florianna, tears welling in my eyes as lennon smiled and hugged me tighter even though she was only two and didn't really understand much of what was happening

i shared a smile with four of my kids whilst we all had a group hug. kissing them all individually, letting them know that this was a beautiful christmas present for florianna and how much it meant to both of us, not just florianna.

"...jazmyne--" florianna spoke as jazmyne sushed her and everyone laughed as she then continued on

"...mom, you've been there for everything since mommy died and, we just want to ask you this on christmas morning because it's the right time for you to adopt me, mackenzie, noah, ryder and lennon and be our mom and marry our dad and become florianna reid?" jazmyne asks as florianna jumps off the couch, pulling jazmyne into her arms as jazmyne giggles softly

"oh, jazmyne, of course, darling! of course, i'll adopt you and the kids!" florianna calls out as i cover my mouth, feeling the happy tears that welled up fall down my cheeks as i wipe them away before lennon and i ran, joining florianna, jazmyne, mackenzie, noah and ryder in the hug as everyone else cheers

"phew, oh thank god you said yes as uh, i had uncle aaron and uncle david kinda help me with getting all the paperwork..." jazmyne spoke with hunched shoulders and a humourous smile to break up the silence as everyone laughed - of course, she had her uncle aaron and uncle david to help her, who else would have the tools to do so?

"oh jaz, i was always going to look after you guys! that's what i promised your momma the day she died. i promised her that i was going to look after you, daddy and your siblings until my own dying breath," florianna spoke with her beautiful smile as she kisses jazmyne's cheek, making her giggle as she then kisses the other kids

it was then announced that the other kids could open their presents with their uncles and aunties as florianna and i had taken jazmyne and mackenzie with us to a different room for their presents that were from the two of us.

"jazmyne, mackenzie, these two are for you, i know they may look like two blank envelopes but, i promise you, it's more than that..." i spoke as the two girls gave florianna and me weird looks before opening the envelopes

and, let's just say, i never expected this reaction from our two older girls but, we wouldn't have changed their reactions at all.

"wha-wah-wait, hold up, mom, dad, are you guys serious?" mackenzie was the first to speak up as jazmyne just stared down at the envelope

"yeah, we're dead serious kenzie, it's about time we spoilt our two big kids rather than your brothers and baby sister," florianna spoke up as jazmyne finally looked up, tears were in her eyes

"you...you're allowing us to move to las vegas for college? mom? dad?" jazmyne was quiet, as quiet as i'd ever heard her, her voice only slightly rising at the end as i nodded my head, alania also nodding her head

"yes, you two are graduating within the coming weeks and you're both going to be turning eighteen within the next few months so, of course, we were going to let you guys move to las vegas for college. it was actually something momma left in the letter she wrote for you two," i spoke as jazmyne looked down, starting to cry and i smiled as kenzie comforted her

"you okay, jaz? is it everything you wanted?" florianna whispered, bopping down to both girls' height as jazmyne nodded her head

"it...it's all i've ever wanted, mom. to be like momma and daddio," jazmyne whimpered as she looked up once again and i walked over and lifted her up, her legs latching around my waist as i smile, jazmyne hugging me tighter

"thank you," she whimpered as i squeezed jazmyne whilst florianna did the same thing to kenzie

derek, savannah and emily (and everyone else) then joined us and smiled as they all leaned on each other, derek speaking up as i nodded my head.

"so, i guess you told them?" derek spoke up, emily and savannah leaning against him as they all smiled and leant on each other as i nodded my head

"yeah, we did. it was about time morgan, they deserved to know what maeve's final wish for them was before she died. they deserve to go back to las vegas, where they used to live and for them to study there. they deserve to have the choice to branch away from their momma's degree and their dad's job if that's what they so choose to do," i smiled a bright, happy smile that reached either side of my eyes as derek rubbed my back, also smiling

jazmyne and i hugged a little longer before i placed her down as she then hugged florianna and kenzie hugged me before we then decided to continue with the rest of the presents that everyone else got the kids.

a gazillion presents later and i still think the one that really got to jazmyne was the present from mom and me for her and kenzie and then the car that uncle derek and aunty savannah had gotten them both.

well, now this was the moment i knew that it was the right time to propose and marry florianna, the love of my life and make her mrs reid as well as the legal mother of our five kids, having our two eldest move to las vegas for college. this christmas couldn't have gone any better than it already had. a christmas miracle is what happened this year and, i think this instagram post proved it.

liked by drspencerreid, mackenziereid, floriannatomlinson, derekmorgan, aaronhotchner and 994 others

jazmynereid merry chrysler everybody 🤍

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drspencerreid merry christmas my dear. glad this christmas was better for you than the last 🤍

jazmynereid drspencerreid thank you daddio and, this christmas was far better than last christmas that's for sure 🤍

mackenziereid merry christmas jazzy 🤍

jazmynereid mackenziereid merry christmas kenzie 🤍

floriannatomlinson merry christmas babe 🤍

jazmynereid floriannatomlinson merry christmas mom 🤍

derekmorgan yes, aunty savannah and i did give you and mackenzie a merry chrysler! merry christmas jazmyne 🤍

jazmynereid derekmorgan yes, you did give kenzie and me a merry chrysler. merry christmas uncle derek 🤍

aaronhotchner merry chrysler to you too, jazmyne 🤍

jazmynereid aaronhotchner uncle aaron, please, never say merry chrysler ever again! but merry christmas uncle aaron 🤍

all was well

- - -

yay! i've written for spence again and i'm happy!

ok ily xx

word count; 11233

#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #angst with a happy ending #imagine the criminal minds characters with social media

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mostlyihyperfixate · 5 months ago

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I finished "Trials and Tribulations" Saturday! Now I'm gonna ramble about my thoughts! (Although I'm sure I won't be saying anything groundbreaking since I am, yet again, about twenty years late to a fandom OTL)

My friend in Scotland really hyped up Godot to me. She finished the trilogy a little ahead of me, and she messaged me saying, "Godot's the best prosecutor." And while I certainly think Godot has a great design he…definitely didn't become my favorite prosecutor. Of the three main ones, he's actually last. I don't hate him or anything, but…

Look, I think Acro had a more sympathetic motivation. I'm not gonna plunk down and call Godot a raging misogynist or anything like that. He definitely said some really uncalled for stuff to Franziska, and he definitely comes from the "male = protector" school of ideology. And that doesn't necessarily make for a bad character. I think he ultimately really respected and liked Mia (I know it wasn't explicitly stated, but I got the feeling he was re-interviewing Dahlia because he was determined to catch her out knowing how much that trial rattled and upset Mia), but he came it from entirely the wrong way, or acted on his feelings the wrong way I think.

And even that doesn't make him uninteresting. I think in the end, I just felt like there were too many contrived moving parts in his case! Like, too many oddly specific things had to happen to line him up as the murderer to begin with. He had to wake up from his coma, become a prosecutor, overhear Morgan making her plans, find the secret note, rope in Iris and Amy (and it bothers me that it was just that easy for him to find her…didn't Gumshoe or someone say that not even the police knew where she'd run off to? Only apparently the police DID know where she ran off to???), and then have the "plan" fall apart in this very specific way, all in a very short amount of time.

So in the end, I didn't even feel like he was that great a strategist or villain or anything. He was just a guy with a "Star Trek" visor who happened to be there because he wasn't as smart as he thought he was. And his reason for not talking to Phoenix just seemed like, once again, "Because Thou Must."

But I did like his dumb coffee metaphors. "That old man...is my drop of milk!" is maybe my favorite line the game. And I did like that once Phoenix proved a point, Godot would usually just be like, "Okay. That didn't work. New investigation segment!" And his interactions with Ron were pretty great.

I wouldn't mind seeing more of him. I think there's stuff there to explore. But ultimately, he's the bottom of my list for prosecutors (so far).

And I don't like Iris. I'm mature enough to be aware that part of the reason I don't like Iris is that she's "in the way" of the main appeal of this game for me, which is, of course, Phoenix and Miles' relationship. I am also mature enough to know that said relationship isn't canon and isn't likely to be made canon, and that's not the fault of Iris. But I still have complicated feelings about her in the narrative. I don't think she's an awful, evil, vile person, and if I were to ever write something, I would make sure I wouldn't go all "Die For Our Ship." But I don't think she's the angel I'm supposed to walk away think she is either. I mean, at the very least, she knew that Dahlia had poisoned a man to the point of being in a coma, right? Iris knew that Dahlia needed that necklace back. Iris knew Dahlia was willing to kill Phoenix to get it back, so presumably she knew why. And I know she didn't participate in the ransom/hostage thing, but she knew about it. And yet for years, she just kept all that a secret. And then I feel kinda squicky thinking about those eight months where she pretended to be her sister. I guess we're supposed to take it as Phoenix having actually had a relationship with Iris, so it's not all that bad, and I know the narrative isn't suggesting that about Iris at all. I just feel weird about it.

It was kind of nice not having Lotta in this game. She's my least favorite character. Like, Larry might be annoying, but at least the game acknowledges that he sucks a lot of the time, and he has helped Phoenix out of tight spots before. Lotta just shows up and spouts perjury for a while, and then apparently she's still a close friend because she felt a little sorry about falsely accusing someone of murder until the next time a murder happens?

Other than that, though, I really can't say there are characters are dislike. I love Maya. She and Phoenix are my brotp for sure. And Pearls is such a cutie! And Ema…precious Ema. I see people complaining about Ema being annoying a lot, and she is, and I kinda think that's why I love her so much. I, too, was once a 16 year old with a special interest, with everyone telling me to pipe down because no one else cares about said special interest why can't you just be normal?? So I'm just like, you go girl. You talk about science. My special interest was "Naruto," so at least Ema is doing something useful with hers.

That being said, I still really loved Bridge to the Turnabout! I feel like the game hit full soap opera at that point, and I had a blast! I especially loved getting to play as Miles for a little bit, but my favorite part was definitely Phoenix looking for clues with Franziska. I never disliked Franziska, but that bumped her up above Godot for sure. I got the feeling she's just not used to having friends or how to behave in social settings, so Phoenix is her friend now, and I think she's even fond of Gumshoe. She just doesn't know how to express it. It was fun!

It didn't, however, replace Turnabout Goodbyes as my favorite case. I just think Turnabout Goodbyes was better woven throughout the first game, even though Bridge to the Turnabout had more game time dedicated to it previously, what with Mia's cases and all, if that makes sense. Maybe it's just my Wrightworth goggles talking. I'll admit that.

I wanna read angsty fic about Miles growing up with von Karma, though. I have this dumb (and I'm sure already done-to-death) idea about a soulmate fic (and I don't even WRITE soulmate fic) where Phoenix is pretty sure that whatever soulmate rules are in place in this universe mean that Miles is soulmate. But obviously they loose touch. And von Karma is NOT about it (whether it be soulmates in general or just two men being soulmates), so by the time they meet up again, Miles is like, "Nope. You're mistaken, and you're stupid," and he tries his best to hide the truth. Cue the angst!

Anyway, back to "Trials and Tribulations."

(This is really long. No one is going to read this.)

I thought there was something to like about every case. I loved seeing stupid, lovestruck, young Phoenix eating evidence. I enjoyed playing as Mia. Luke Atmey annoyed the tar out of me during the Stolen Turnabout, but in retrospect he was a GREAT culprit. And Ron and Desiree were so cute! I kept expecting her to turn out to be the culprit of either case, even if the murder was just to save her husband from being blackmailed. But nope! In the end, they were just pure wholesomeness. Mia's second trial was really interesting. Baby Miles was such a brat! And I LOVED seeing that he had more von Karma mannerisms in the past (cue the plot bunnies…I wanna read a fic about Miles first starting out and actually working with von Karma). And then even though I said Bridge to the Turnabout was soapy, I meant that complimentarily. Every time I worked out a plot twist, I gasped. So many twists and turns.

I am honestly sad to be done with the original trilogy. I'm glad the Game Grumps played "Justice for All" this year, and I'm glad I decided I wanted to try them out for myself. They turned out to be one of those "changed my brain chemistry" things. I joked with my best friend, "You know when I get into something, it becomes my personality for the next five years. Gay lawyers are my personality for the next five years!" My last hyperfixation was "The Avengers (2012)," and I haven't been interested in the MCU since "Endgame" disappointed me. My friend even said I seem happier since I've found a new "thing." I don't know what says about me as a person…probably not anything very good.

But you can only experience a new favorite thing for the first time once, and it's over.

I have purchased the Apollo Justice trilogy, and I'm hyped to start it! I want to love Apollo and Klavier and Athena and Trucy. (I already got a Trucy cosplay ready to go for the local con this year because I wanted to go as an "Ace Attorney" character and she's so cute.) But I'm also really nervous! I love Phoenix, and knowing he becomes a sad manipulative hobo (even if I don't know the story surrounding that) makes me sad! I'm not ready to say goodbye to these characters yet.

And so I'm putting it off by watching the anime. Maybe this weekend I'll start the first Apollo Justice case? I do want to catch up so I can start reading fan fiction without spoiling myself, and I'd like to actually know about Trucy as a character when I go to the con dressed as her.

(I also really, really want to somehow get a "Wright Anything Office" or whatever it is sign to hang on my office door at the courthouse…especially since they don't make Funko pops for Ace Attorney that I can just line up on shelf across from said door.)

Goodbye, "Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright" trilogy! Thank you for changing my brain chemistry!

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #trials and tribulations #ace attorney spoilers #trials and tribulations spoilers

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yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

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never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup @greenprisca @averyhotchner

#dom!spencer #smut #spencer x you #spencer x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #cheating

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spencers-dria · 4 years ago

Text

Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch. Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual. Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up. It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker. It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

#fanfic #writing #criminal minds #spencer x reader #spencerreid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #romance #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #original work #original story #Spotify

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auroras-blend · 4 years ago

Text

Road Trip

Bonus Chapter from Leo's POV where he takes Vittoria on a 10-hour car ride to Rome for a vacation. Basically, he's stuck in a car with an eight-year-old for 10+ hours.

Leonardo Borghese was a patient man and prided himself on his ability to stay calm in tense situations. He wore a mask that most artists could only dream of modeling, but his facade was quickly crumbling in the second hour of the ten-hour car ride. “Are we there yet?” asked Vittoria for the sixth time in the last hour.

“No, not yet principessa. Not for a while,” he groaned, looking at the car’s clock, “Eight more hours.”

He had promised to take her to Rome, his birthplace, months ago and now he, unfortunately, had to make good on that promise. Vittoria had seemed tired when she entered the car at four in the morning (she hadn't even had a panic attack), which is why he had forgone giving her Nyquil, but apparently, she had a burst of energy ten minutes into their ride. Apparently, the panic attack had been delayed and she spent the first hour crying and praying, before finally settling down into a conversation. Every single car ride. Whoever killed Giuseppe and traumatized his daughter would pay dearly, especially considering getting her to church was always a two-hour-long affair if he added in the time for trying to get her into the car.

The past two hours had been hell for him and he had eight more to go. Eight was optimistic given his daughter’s small bladder.

Leonardo Borghese didn’t like being in a small shared space with a prattling person. His cellmate hadn’t been as aggravating as Franco, and dear God he’d say it, Franco wasn't as aggravating as Vittoria was right now. “Why don’t you try and go to sleep?”

“I’m not tired!” she said brightly, before rapidly firing a line of questions at him, “How far is Rome? Do we still get to see gladiators fight? What about the lions? Will they have lions?”

“Far enough,” he breathed, “No, we won’t see gladiators fight and there are no lions.”

“They should have lions,” she quipped, “Did you know they had women, gladiators? I don’t think I’d like to be a gladiator, because I don’t like blood. Minerva was a war goddess and she was smart. I read about her in my book, but she’s not my favorite. Do you know who my favorite is Papa?”

Oh, God. “Who is it Vittoria?” he asked, trying to keep a smile in his voice.

“Venus and Diana. I like Venus cause she's the goddess of love and beauty. I play Venus a lot because I’m pretty. Did you know the planet’s named after her?” she asked, not giving him a chance to reply, “And then there’s Diana because she’s the goddess of the moon. She doesn’t date icky boys and turns them into deers! I’d like to do that!”

How am I going to do this for another nine hours? “Who’s your favorite Roman god, Papa? I bet I can guess! Is it Jupiter? Because he’s the king! Did you know a planet is named after him too? It's the biggest one! You're really big, Papa! Did you know I know all the names of the planets now because I remember the Roman gods and goddesses? Sg.na Sagesse taught me a song. I’ll show you!”

This is hell. Vittoria began singing along to the tune, Michael Finnegan: “There are nine planets around the sun, let me name them one by one…”

Can I mute her? “There’s Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars, they have super pretty stars!”

Leonardo was gritting his teeth and focusing on the road. She’ll fall asleep eventually. “Then there’s Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune but wait one moment we’re not done with this tune!”

Why can’t we be done? “Stop right there, please don’t go, make some room for Pluto! There are nine planets around the sun, now you can name them one by one!”

Leonardo gave a fake gasp. “That’s incredible principessa! You’re such a smart girl,” he praised as he watched a proud blush rise to her cheeks.

“Really?”

“Of course! I could never memorize that song like you can,” he said, unknowingly damning himself.

Vittoria gasped. “Oh Papa, don’t say that! You can! I can teach you!”

Shit. “Oh, it’s okay principessa,” he tried to quickly say before she began singing the song again.

***

He considered himself a saint for not snapping at her. Vittoria had sung the planet song close to thirty times before he finally got the hang of it, or at least until she passed out. He knew the song now. There are nine planets around the sun, let me name them one by one… Those damn lyrics were stuck in his head and he couldn't even drown it out with the radio unless he wanted to risk waking Vittoria. Leonardo looked at the clock...seven hours to go...make some room for Pluto...Leonardo sighed at the long road ahead.

***

They had made six pit stops in the last two hours because Vittoria had the smallest bladder. At the sixth stop, they decided to get lunch where he ordered a light meal but allowed her to order a pizza with a glass of milk, even though she begged for a soda. There was no way he’d make that mistake. Vittoria was incredibly chatty with the waitresses, telling them that they were going to Rome and everything they’d see. She could give Franco a run for his money.

“But all the Roman gods are there! Did you know that, Papa? I want to go to the Pantseon first. That’s my very favorite place!” she squealed.

As exhausted and annoyed as he was, he did smile at her excitement. He had been worried that his eight-year-old would be bored out of her mind and would throw an embarrassing tantrum at the museum, but she wasn’t. She’s an academic, just like her father. “Pantheon,” he corrected.

“Oh right! Anyway…” she continued.

Leonardo let himself enjoy the moment and memories he was making with his daughter. He knew she probably didn’t get to go on any road trips when she lived with her mother, and seeing her excited about her first-ever vacation was endearing. Especially when he was the one giving her her first-ever vacation because he had missed so many firsts. She stole those precious moments from me, he thought hatefully. But he had the rest of their lives to be the only one who gave her those special memories.

He had wanted this, a perfect daughter to spoil and who would worship the ground he walked on, but when he had wished for it he hadn’t imagined that he’d be raising her alone. A proper family vacation would have been with a wife and a car full of children, though now that he was in a car with just one child for the past several hours, he was content to keep the number down for the time being. It was a lot of work just caring for her by himself, not that he was incapable, mind you, but he took great joy in being called a “selfless single father” by those around him. Leonardo knew full well that if he were a woman, the words used to describe him would be derogatory.

He could tell the stigma that Vittoria carried around with her when she was raised in the States haunted her. The names she had been called, people refusing to play with her...he truly was, in his mind, the best thing to ever happen to her. He told himself he was acting in her best interest when he took her to Italy to live with him, after all, it's my right, and that he gave her everything she ever wanted and needed. She seemed far better off now than she did then, well with a sprinkle of a few traumatic events, but details, details.

“Are you happy, then?” he asked.

She nodded as her cheeks puffed out with a large bite of pizza. “Slow down,” he said when he saw her trying to swallow quickly so she could speak again.

He didn’t want her to choke. “But then we have to go to our garden and art museum!”

Vittoria was convinced that Villa Borghese and the Borghese Gallery and Museum were their family’s museum and that it only made sense because they were both artists. He let her entertain that notion. Leonardo, contrary to his nature, let his daughter lead the conversation, mainly because he didn't have the energy to contribute. Another three to four hours seemed impossible, but there was still enough daylight for them to use, and they had to check-in at five o’clock. “I can’t wait to be in Rome! We have to take super lots of pictures!” she grinned.

“We’ll take plenty of pictures,” he smiled back.

“You were born there, right Papa?”

“Yes, I was born in Rome,” he smiled.

“I wish I was born in Rome. I was born in stupid Idaho,” she frowned, “That’s a state.”

Idaho, in his opinion, was an ordinary state with unremarkable people. Not fit for Vittoria. When he had visited Rome a while ago, he had changed her birthplace to Rome to better suit her. She wasn’t an ordinary child. “Did you not like Idaho?” he asked, already knowing her answer.

“No. It was boring and the people were mean. I had to do a report on it and people like us because we grow potatoes, but that’s it,” her frown was set for a moment before she broke out into a smile, “My report was the bestest! I always make my first letters capitals and add periods. I’m the only second-grader who remembers!”

“Of course you are. I bet you were the best writer in your class,” he praised.

He had seen her writing samples, and even when she wrote an argumentative piece about throwing Charles to the tigers, her work was still fairly impressive. Writing seemed to be one of her strengths, which was reassuring given that math and reading were not. “I was! I always got gold stars! Mr. Morgan never gave them to Rodney, because he’s a bad writer!” she said the last part with a smug look on her face that she inherited from her father.

Leonardo had begun to notice the striking similarities they shared in their mannerisms and expressions. The way she slipped on her “happy mask” as she called it and the way she forced her eyes to soften when she wanted sympathy over a pointless tantrum. Vittoria was learning to play the game he had set, practiced, and perfected. She’ll never win, but it’s sweet to see her try.

He indulged her with ice cream before they headed back out into the car and onto the road for another few hours of hell. And it was hell. He had created a car ride bag for her, which he praised himself for making, that he had filled with crayons, paper, coloring books, storybooks, a blanket, and snacks that wouldn’t leave crumbs. He swore by it, finding solutions for the “I’m hungry” and “I’m bored” complaints that he insisted other parents adopt as if they hadn’t already thought of that before, because even though he called it a “car ride bag”, it was most certainly a “dad bag” that was a staple of fatherhood.

Leonardo thought it was one of the greatest things he had ever thought of, but he quickly regretted it when Vittoria pulled something out that he hadn’t even known she’d snuck in. She always claimed it helped her calm down. His shoulders tensed when he heard the tune of the London Bridge begin to play. “Is that your music box?” he asked, not bothering to turn around.

“Mm-hm,” she hummed before she began to sing quietly under her breath.

I’m going to kill Signora Bianchi. He looked at her through the rear-view mirror and saw her begin to color in her coloring book of a Greek garden, a pleasant smile on her face as she whispered the lyrics. It was only a few ear grating moments before the tune ended and even fewer moments in between her cranking it up again. Why am I being punished? “Principessa, I’m going to turn on the radio,” he said, reaching for the knob.

“You can’t!”

“Why not?” he sighed with irritation.

“This is my artist music!”

Of course, it is, he thought dryly. “Vittoria-,”

“I promise only for this page!” she swore, “Cross my heart!”

It was his fault. He refused to admit it, but it was his fault for believing her words and letting her play the song. Vittoria was a child who took her sweet old time with her art, so it was hours (twenty minutes) until she was finished with her masterpiece. “And done!”

“Thank Christ,” he muttered under his breath, “I’m turning on the radio now, okay?”

Anything to drown out that godforsaken tune in my head. And for a while, he was blessed with just the music as Vittoria fell into a post-lunch nap. Thank you, God. It seemed the Lord was shining on him because they were less than five minutes out without any problems. We’ll make it there and- “Papa, I feel sick,” Vittoria croaked.

No. His eyes met the small figure behind the rear-view mirror. She was hunched over, clutching her belly, and her face had gone ashy. He had to stop himself from insensitively saying, don’t throw up in the car! The hotel was right in front of them, all we have to do is make it. “Just hold on, a few moments and-,” as he made a sharp turn into the parking lot, the jolt caused her to unleash whatever was in her stomach.

The sound of her hurling was as sickening as the smell of pizza, milk, and ice cream that had been poorly dissolved by her stomach acid which also made an appearance. The sight of it nearly made him throw up, but he was better than that. He had finished parking by the time she had finished expelling her lunch from her stomach. Leonardo gave a shaky sigh as he heard Vittoria start to cry, apologizing furiously. He got out of the car and stretched his legs outside as he hurried over to her door, not taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air. “I’m-I’m sorry, Papa!”

He quickly unbuckled her from her seat belt and pulled her out of the car and settled her on his hip. He wasn’t his father, he wasn’t cruel enough to think that she could’ve controlled it, and he certainly wouldn’t punish her by making her eat it. His chest tightened just a fraction of a second remembering what he was put through, before focusing on the moment he was in. She’s just my fragile little girl. She can't help it. He knew that now, of all times, was an important reminder for her to know that he was the better parent. The one who is her favorite and who loves her most. “I know, I know you didn’t mean it,” he whispered as he felt her head.

A little warm, but she probably just got car sick. He forced his eyes to assess the damage, which was very little considering she aimed incredibly well into the bag. “Oh thank God,” he sighed before frowning.

Of course, that music box is left untouched. Of course, it is! With the exception of a few specks on the leather that could easily be wiped off and the smell that could easily be remedied by airing the car out, there was no damage whatsoever. He had been terrified that she had thrown up on the carpet that he just had cleaned. The mess was quickly taken care of and the bag was thrown out because they could just buy newer and better items later. The check-in process was swift and he wasted no time getting her into the hotel room and washing her off before putting her back in bed. Vittoria was moaning and groaning against the pillows as if she were a Victorian woman on her deathbed. He didn't know whether to roll his eyes or smile. She’s incredibly dramatic. “Thank you,” she said softly, her eyes vulnerable and wide, “For taking care of me.”

“It’s what fathers do,” he said, having her sip a cool glass of water to soothe her burning throat.

“I had fun,” she smiled.

He climbed into the bed next to her and let her lean against him, “You did?”

He had received absolutely no enjoyment in that car ride whatsoever and thought for all intents and purposes that it was a failure. “Uh-huh, except throwing up. I didn't like that,” she gave a weak laugh, “But I had fun with you.”

It occurred to him that he hadn’t snapped at her when he was annoyed, let her talk about things she was interested in, and do things that she enjoyed. Her mother was an irritable and unstable woman who probably would have already yelled at her ten minutes (he was being gracious with that number) into the drive, before breaking down herself. Who would’ve been furious at Vittoria for throwing up in the car and who would cause her to break down into uncontrollable sobs. Leonardo felt overwhelmingly smug that she had a great time with him and that he was the one who made her smile. “I had fun with you too,” he grinned.

Vittoria snuggled against him before falling fast asleep. She’s such a good sleeper. Vittoria’s breathing became soft and suddenly his breaths started to match hers, as his exhaustion caught up to him and lured him into a deep slumber. He had suffered, but she had smiled. And he had made her smile, and in his mind, that was all that mattered.

#leo being a schmuck #no new chapter for a while so here's a bonus?#i try to post on fridays #leonardo borghese #travel #bonus chapter #marilyn winslow #vittoria borghese #she's being cute #i made the planet song especially for this because we're learning about planets in class #PLUTO IS A PLANET #IN OUR HEARTS ♥️#could've posted on ao3

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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago

Text

National Examiner, March 29

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Jayne Mansfield only her daughter Mariska Hargitay knew

Page 2: They're Aging Like Fine Wine -- celebs reflect on the wonders of getting older -- Candice Bergen, Anthony Hopkins, Halle Berry, Diane Keaton, Jennifer Lopez, Sandra Bullock, Bette Davis, Reese Witherspoon, Sally Field

Page 3: Helen Mirren, Jamie Lee Curtis, Madonna, Sigourney Weaver, Michael Caine, Jennifer Aniston, Goldie Hawn, Diane Lane

Page 4: Warren Beatty's roles and costumes

Page 6: Since her 2016 split from Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie has had to keep calm and carry on with six growing kids to think about and she admits the past few years have been pretty hard and she's been focusing on healing her family -- the six kids she shares with Brad, who range in age from 12 to 19, have been looking out for her too -- the 45-year-old is looking forward to her 50s and she feels that she's going to hit her stride in her 50s

Page 7: Canine Cuisine -- simple home-cooked fare for Fido

Page 9: Reach for at-home antibiotics

Page 10: When a Texas grocery store lost power during the devastating recent storm, they did something unimaginably generous -- they allowed all the customers to leave with whatever was in the shopping carts without paying for anything -- the shoppers at an H-E-B supermarket in Leander didn't even have to cough up a dime as they proceeded through the checkout lanes, even if they had hundreds of dollars' worth of food and supplies weighing down their wagons

Page 11: Your Health -- crying is healthy

* If you suffer from insomnia, try wearing socks to bed

Page 12: Hollywood Cemetery Shockers -- Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Whitney Houston, John Wayne

Page 13: James Brown, Michael Todd, Princess Diana, Sammy Davis Jr., Judy Garland, Steve Irwin

Page 14: Dear Tony, America's Top Psychic Healer -- the secret of life is so simple and attainable -- Tony predicts movie and TV star Robin Wright's move to being a director will be very successful and there will be many more films to come

Page 15: A Florida man just received the biggest surprise of his long life at the party to celebrate his 100th birthday -- someone had found and returned his wedding ring that he lost five years earlier while shopping at an Aldi's in Minnesota

Page 16: Kathie Lee Gifford: It's never too late to go after your dreams

Page 18: Happy Days mom Marion Ross is 92 now, but she still holds a memory about the legendary Cary Grant close to her heart -- back in 1959, when she was married to Freeman Meskimen, the actress was working on a film with the handsome star when she discovered she might be pregnant but she wasn't absolutely sure and so she didn't share her suspicions with anyone until one day, when a scene called for her to do something she wasn't sure a possibly pregnant woman should be doing, she revealed her secret to Cary Grant -- he sat down next to her, put his arm around her and said sweetly You're pregnant! and when she looked up at him, he had tears in his eyes; he was so excited for her and they had this marvelous moment together -- Marion said her husband was less than thrilled when her pregnancy was confirmed and they divorced a few years later

Page 19: An Indiana middle-school principal made the cut when he helped a kid out of a hairy situation -- when an eighth-grader at Stonybrook in Warren Township confided in Jason Smith he couldn't take his hat off because he was embarrassed about his uneven haircut, Jason offered to really straighten things out if he promised to return to class -- Jason has been cutting hair most of his life and he played college basketball and cut his teammates' hair before games, and he's been cutting his son's hair for 17 years and he had professional clippers and edgers at home, so he said if he went home and got his clippers and lined the student up, would he go back to class? and the student said yes, so Jason gave the kid a buzz and the happy student went back to class -- Jason says he knows a bad haircut may sound like a small thing, but to a boy that age, grappling with peer pressure, a bad 'do is a real don't

Page 20: Cover Story -- My mom Jayne Mansfield -- Mariska Hargitay reveals bombshell truths about the beloved sex symbol

Page 22: Use your noodle -- pool toy swims to the rescue

Page 24: Back when Calvin Tyler was in college in the early 1960s, he had such a hard time scraping together tuition money that he had to drop out before finishing his senior year and take a job as a UPS driver -- fast-forward a few decades: Calvin has just donated $20 million to Morgan State University in Baltimore, his alma mater

Page 25: A wounded veteran in Temecula, California, got the surprise of his life when he received a mortgage-free home courtesy of the Gary Sinise Foundation -- Josue Barron, who had joined the Marines at age 17, lost both his left leg and his left eye while serving in Afghanistan in 2010

Page 26: Dreamy hunk Patrick Swayze fell for one of his co-stars while filming the romantic movie Ghost, but the object of his affection wasn't on-screen love Demi Moore; it was Whoopi Goldberg

Page 28: 20 things you didn't know about James Bond actor Daniel Craig

Page 30: Spunky Hayley Arceneaux won a battle with bone cancer when she was 10 years old, and grew up to become a physician assistant in child oncology at St. Jude's Children's Hospital, where she was treated and if that wasn't enough, Hayley is going to blast off on a space flight -- the super survivor, who's now 29, was selected by the St. Jude's staff from hundreds of other employees to represent the famous hospital on the first-ever civilian spaceflight, arranged by the company SpaceX, to take place at the closing of 2021

Page 40: It's crystal clear -- the healing starts here -- crystals are very effective when it comes to healing, especially with one's emotion and they have special energies in different ways

Page 42: How to lower your COVID risk -- with new variants of the virus documented in the U.S., it's important to stay vigilant

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Rebecca Holden of Knight Rider (picture), Lou Diamond Phillips of Prodigal Son in NYC (picture), Katharine McPhee admitted she was concerned with what people would think early on during her romance with 71-year-old David Foster, the daughter of John Travolta and Kelly Preston named Ella Blue Travolta is following in the footsteps of her actor parents by starring in Get Lost which is a modern-day retelling of Alice in Wonderland, Sarah Silverman recently apologized for mocking Paris Hilton at the 2007 MTV Awards, Nicolas Cage has tied the knot for the fifth time to Riko Shibata, Metallica have donated $75,000 to Feeding America via their All Within My Hands nonprofit and the funds are earmarked to aid folks in Texas who were affected by deadly winter storms

Page 45: Orlando Bloom running on the beach while vacationing in Hawaii (picture), Antonio Banderas (picture), Tom Jones takes the stage in the U.K. (picture), Robin Roberts near ABC's NYC studio (picture), Aaron Carter and fiancee Melanie Martin say they have a baby on the way nearly 10 months after she'd suffered a miscarriage, Dustin Diamond was never married to his galpal Jennifer Misner according to his death certificate, Liam Neeson attended a NYC screening of his new movie to thank viewers for coming to the theater on the first day Big Apple cinemas reopened after being shuttered by COVID-19 last year

Page 46: A single mom of three was struggling to do everything on her own, but there was one problem she lacked the skills and money to handle -- her house in Sudbury, Massachusetts was falling apart and that's when some kindly Good Samaritans stepped in with their toolbelts and performed the extensive home repairs she need at no charge

Page 47: Parenting Advice From the Stars -- Reese Witherspoon, Busy Philipps, Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Garner

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ma-gic-gay · 4 years ago

Note

"What the fuck?" Michael asks, voice at a dangerous level. He startles them and they pull apart. "You two promised me you're not in a relationship, so what do you call this?"

They've been caught.

Shit.

"Kissing," Carly answers quickly, half lying and half telling the truth. "We're not dating."

"Then please explain to me what this is, Mom," he asks. "You too, Jason."

"Explain what?" Joss asks, walking into the room.

"They kissed."

"Avery owes me 5 bucks now," the blonde smiles. "I can buy a coffee with that money."

"Great, a free coffee. Are you at all having an emotional reaction to Mom and Jason kissing?" Michael asks his sister, who's ignoring him.

"Not my business who Mom and Jason kiss," she responds calmly.

When did she get so grown up? She had her "child of the corn" years a few years ago, but now she's an adult and not freaking out over this? His goddaughter's all grown up. One hell of a way to make you feel old.

"I can't believe you're so calm about this, Joss! They lied to us!"

"Did they? They said they weren't dating. First off, that's a present tense which could've changed, and they didn't say anything about kissing in hospitals," she says, confused.

"Here's that first aid kit for Jason, Carly," Elizabeth says, entering the tense room and handing it to the traumatized woman in the hospital bed. "Do you two need something?"

"My mother to figure out what the hell she feels for Jason Morgan," Michael answers bitterly.

"I'm not going to ask."

"They kissed! And they did it yesterday!" Michael exclaims, emotions getting the best of him before he can remember his tact.

Everyone's shocked he screamed that, Elizabeth especially. "Well. Um, I'm gonna head out. You guys enjoy... Whatever this is."

That's one way for it to come out.

"It's out in the open now," Carly chuckles, opening up the first aid kit and pulling out the bandages, hydrogen peroxide, and Neosporin.

"Mom, what are you doing with his hand?"

"He punched a wall so I'm cleaning up the cuts."

"Why'd you do that?"

"People were gossipping about your mother and what happened to her tonight. It pissed me off and I ended up punching a wall."

"By the looks of it you broke the wall."

"Nah, just a few scratches," Jason tells him before the stinging sensation of the hydrogen peroxide is on his hand. Not exactly a pleasant one.

"Well, are you okay?"

"Besides the fact your mother is stinging me with this stuff, I'm fine."

"Good. What happened to you tonight, Mom?" Michael asks gingerly.

Suddenly, the tension in the air amplifies by 50 if that's even possible. There's a good minute and a half where it's just an awkward silence before Carly answers him, filling the time with applying bandaids to his wounds, "Cyrus took me from the Metro Court. Well, one of his goons. But the goon took me to the Floating Rib, that little room above the bar. Somehow he knew the importance of that place to me and I was kidnapped. He raped me. I also got pretty beat up when I was resisting. Just when I was sure I'd never leave that room, Jason came in and saved me. Cyrus is in police custody right now and there's no way in hell he's getting off."

"He always saves all of us," Joss smiles at him. "Thanks."

"Anytime. I'll always save you guys, you know that," Jason returns her smile and sees one appear on Michael's face as well, though he's half ready to kill someone. It always happens when someone brings up rape, Michael gets distant and mad. Probably because of his own experience with it.

It's a good thing Cyrus is in police custody because if he wasn't, Jason has a feeling that he'd end up helping them cover up a murder.

"Mom, I'm so sorry you had to go through it. Cyrus is a sick bastard. You know that I'll be able to pull some strings and all of the Quartermaine's will testify in your behalf if you need to go to trial," Michael offers.

"Thanks, but I'm hoping he'll plead guilty and I won't have to sit through a trial."

"Well, if you do, you've got the best lawyer in the state on your side and all of us," Joss says, "besides, there's a bunch of evidence he did it. And everyone knows Jason's practically incapable of lying, so he'll be a great witness!"

"You, on the other hand, are a good liar, Joss," Michael counters.

"The law doesn't know that, Michael."

"I better never get a call I have to bail you out of jail."

"I'll call Cam or Trina. You'll be last on the list of people I'd call to bail me out, trust me," she playfully reassures her brother.

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"You pick."

"I'm sorry, but Mrs. Corinthos cannot have visitors anymore," Epiphany tells them, interrupting the group gathering.

Sadly, her kids say goodbye to her, promising to visit in the morning. Jason, however, doesn't leave his chair. "Mr. Morgan, did you hear me? No more visitors. Visiting hours are over."

"I'm family."

"So are her children. They don't get to stay the night, neither do you."

"I need him to stay. When I sleep, I keep having nightmares- screaming, terrifying nightmares, and he's the only one who can get me back to sleep. Come on, Epiphany, you know we always spend the night in each other's hospital rooms," Carly attempts to bargain with the nurse.

"And if this were normal circumstances, I would allow it."

"What about this isn't normal circumstances?" Jason asks.

"Well, first off, Michael told Elizabeth about your... Activity. And second, this is a police investigation too. Hospital policy says that he can't stay the night."

"Oh my god," Carly scoffs, "because my son discussed something with us that Lizzie overheard and then spread to the whole town by now, he can't spend the night? Epiphany, I've given myself panic attacks with these nightmares already and he's been here! He's the only person who can calm me down and I know how important rest is for recovery. Besides, it's not like we have no self control. I would never have sex in a hospital."

Epiphany cocks an eyebrow at Jason, who innocently raises his hands. "You know me better than that."

Carly starts laughing at him being stared down by Epiphany, who he simply stated blankly at back. It's a contest of who's going to back down first, and they all know he'll win. His stubbornness is one personality trait that always comes out in hospitals.

"Fine. But I swear, if you two go at it, there will be hell to pay," Epiphany threatens before leaving, letting Jason stay in there. A win. "And she cannot stay up all night making out with you, she needs her rest. So do you, you look like hell."

"Yes ma'am," they answer and she shakes her head before closing the door.

"I feel like I'm in high school again," Carly jokes.

"No clue what that's like."

"Hell, if you're me. You, though, I bet you were that one kid all the teachers loved and the students too. A golden boy. I'm convinced you would've hated me in high school."

"Well, I wouldn't have remembered it anyways," he reminds her.

"Nah, I'm unforgettable," she says, a smirk playing on her lips. "Even with an amnesia causing coma."

"That's not how it-" he gets cut off by her kissing him again.

This is becoming more and more normal and that scares him. He's comfortable in his reality and, as usual, she's ready to bring Hurricane Carly into his life and break his equilibrium.

Well, that and the thought she could make another of those lists. The list scares him more than breaking this state of equilibrium.

"We promised Epiphany we wouldn't do this," he reminds her when they break apart.

"No, we promised her I'd rest and that we wouldn't stay up all night kissing or have sex," Carly corrects.

"Yes, you need your rest, Carly. Please, try to sleep," he urges.

"I'm offended!"

"Carly-"

"You have a guy telling you you're wrong and shut him up and now you've got to sleep. God how times have changed."

"No, it's not that. You, however, need your sleep. Besides, if you have a nightmare, I promise you can kiss me again," he finds himself saying.

Well. That part was unexpected. He really needs a reevaluation of feelings for her.

"Well, if his Royal Highness-"

"I'll kiss you if you have a nightmare, alright?" Jason revises his statement and she smiles.

"Deal."

"Good, you need to rest."

"So do you."

"Just worry about yourself, I'm fine."

"Mhm," she haphazardly agrees, allowing herself to fall back into a slumber while he shifts in the chair he's mastered the ability of sleeping in over the years.

To be continued later in life when it's not 1:30 am est

go to sleep :)

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cutiepasta-thewriter · 6 years ago

Text

Out with the old

Rated-T for sexual implications

Contains-Harley x Peter

In his twenty years of life love has been a difficult thing to deal with. It never ended well but this...this can't even compare.

Peter thought he was doing the right thing by taking a step back. He wanted to just be there for Jason, as a friend. Because loving him was so much harder when people he cares about always leave.

But all the same he couldn't just keep watching Jason fall in love over and over again with other people. So he took the leap and confessed. Peter told him how long he'd been waiting to say something and how deep this all ran. He poured his heart out and tried to keep from panicking the whole time.

But Jason just.....didn't feel the same.

Things couldn't go back to the way it was and Peter couldn't take it. He knew it wasn't the most mature thing but I felt right in that moment. He ran, all the way to California. To see someone, an old friend. His name, Harley Keener.

Harley was living in a loft above a nice bar that he met with Peter in. They talked and Peter openly admitted he wanted to get away from New York for awhile. At this point there wasn't much left for him there.

Ned and Mj had already left to continue advancing their careers. Mj was in Hawaii working with a research foundation and had also taken up painting the many frantic tourists where trying to get that perfect vacation experience. Ned was in Washington using his technical expertise for the government.

Tony and his family were in California. May moved out to the county side with Peter's blessing so she could live a calm life, she actually lives in the same area as Clint and his family so she's not alone. Peter visits when he can.

Spiderman isn't even needed anymore. Sure, the people love him but he long outgrew being the friendly neighborhood spiderman. Instead he inspired other to take up the roles of protecting everyday people stopping everyday crimes. A few younger heros have been taking that role in hope of making Spidey proud and Peter was happy to give it to them. Besides Spiderman was an avenger, he would be there when the world needed him. Until then he was simply an chemist/engineer working for Stark.

Starting a new life away from all of that was what he needed. Besides, he didn't need to be reminded of Jason.

Harley offered Peter a place to stay and He agreed. Things were better here but there were still reminders about the past.

In an unexpected turn he and Harley had an arrangement. They were both single and liked the same sex so...you know. It wasn't about love of course, Peter wasn't ready for love. This was just friends with benefits. It was a cozy arrangement because they managed to keep sex separate from their normal interactions.

That is until Jason appeared out of the blue. Peter had stopped talking to him months ago after explaining that he could be reminded of him anymore. But of course he'd show up.

It was the last thing Peter needed so if Jason showed his face Peter ran. Jason would yell that he just wanted to talk but he never listened.

One afternoon Jason went to the bar below their loft only to find Harley there alone with the bartender. The blonde man whispered something to the barkeep and ushered him to go to the kitchen area. Then he turned his attention to Jason.

"So, what the fuck are you doing here?" Harley asked taking a sip of his whiskey.

"I'm just looking for Peter." Jason never knew much about Harley but Peter often described him as straightforward and he had to agree.

"Well, as you already know he doesn't want to see you." Harley rolled his eyes as he sat his drink down and stood up from his bar stool.

"I just want to ask him to come back. I want to apologize for hurting him and he's still my partner and I need him." Jason said meeting Harley's heated gaze resisting the urge to swallow.

Harley sneered for a second before his lips curled into a cocky smirk.

"Too bad he can't say the same." Harley said goading him.

Jason knew better then to take the bait but he couldn't resist "What do you mean?"

Harley laughed "It's just that he doesn't need you. At all. He's moved on, he doesn't need to lean on you for support or chase you around New York on your little missions. Besides all that he doesn't even want you anymore. Which is good for you, you didn't like him anyway."

Jason clenched his fists. This guy has no idea what he feels and it wasn't his business anyways. This was between Peter and him.

"But fine. I'm waiting on him to come down anyways. Could be a while though, we had a bit of fun this morning and he needed to get cleaned up." Harley cocky smile and words laced in barbs made Jason want punch the shit out of his smug face.

"So you and him are-"

"Doing the devil's dance. Yes, we are." Harley finished. Oh, yes the stories he wanted to tell this asshole but he couldn't kiss and tell.

Jason was about to actually punch this bastard when footsteps came down the staircase located in the corner of the bar.

The door opened to an elated Peter who was dressed in a nice beige sweater and blue jeans. Immediately when he saw Harley he pulled him into a hug.

He began babbling about his friends coming to visit for a week and how they would all get together for a party.

Harley took the distraction as a opportunity to glare at Jason before pulling Peter in for a kiss and in full view of the other man grabbed Peter's ass.

Jason was shell shocked. He hadn't seen Peter like this in a long time. Smiling like this and actually looking healthy. One of the reasons he had came was because he was so worried about his state of mind. New York seemed to be slowly killing him it turned out. But Jason also wanted him to stay by his side. Now look at him, he's floating around California with guy and completely over Jason. Over what they had, just like that.

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" Peter stifled his laughter "I heard you talking to someone. Who was it?" Peter looked up to find an empty bar. Jason had fled only moments before.

"No one important, just someone who's lost. Don't worry they know where to exit." Harley smiled at the clueless look on Peter's face. "Let's get going. We can't keep Morgan waiting."

#harley keener #harley x peter #jason todd #my crackship #tony stark #irondad #peter parker #spiderman #iron man #marvel infinity war #spiderson #ironstrange #not endgame compliant #strangefamily #sepremefamily #stephen strange #parley #spiderlad

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randomperson99sworld · 2 months ago

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Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 36 ~

Pairing: Dean x OC

Word Count: 2,259

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly)

A/N: What did we think about the little surprise? Keep in mind that even though they did admit how they feel and kiss, things will start off a little slow with them. Dean just got back and he’s going through a lot. He doesn’t want to rush into things just yet and she’s respecting that, giving him his space. Don’t worry tho it will pick up I promise:) Stated as always this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

It had been a few days since Dean had been back to his human self, and while things were starting to fall into place, there was still a distance that lingered between him and the rest of the world. He was back to being Dean Winchester, but that guilt—it clung to him like a second skin. He hadn't brought up what had happened, not since the day Julia had hugged him and forgiven him in her quiet way. Sam hadn't pushed either, but Dean knew his brother was worried. They all were.

Dean had taken a few days off from hunting. He'd stayed at the bunker, throwing himself into random tasks, keeping his hands busy. But there was only so much time he could spend cleaning guns or fixing up the Impala. He needed to get back out there, to hunt, to feel useful again.

One morning, over a quiet breakfast, he cleared his throat, glancing between Sam and Julia. "Think I'm ready to get back in the game," he said, his voice rough but steady. "There's a case up in Indiana—classic ghost hunt."

Sam hesitated, glancing at Julia for a second before responding. "You sure? No pressure, man. You can take more time if you need it."

"I'm sure," Dean replied, his tone a little too firm. He didn't want to hear that he wasn't ready. He needed to feel like himself again. "I need to do this."

Sam nodded, not pushing the subject. "Alright. I'll start pulling up info."

Julia watched Dean from across the table. She could see the guilt still haunting him, like a shadow he couldn't quite shake. She didn't blame him—he'd been through hell. But she wasn't going to let him go on a hunt alone in this state.

"I'm coming with you," Julia said firmly.

Dean raised an eyebrow at her. "You don't have to. Sam's got his research to do. I can handle it."

"I know you can," she said. "But I'm still coming. Someone's got to make sure you don't get yourself killed."

Dean let out a huff, almost a laugh, but the weight of her words still sat between them. He didn't argue though. He knew she was worried—hell, he'd be worried too if the roles were reversed. "Alright, suit yourself."

They hit the road later that day, the Impala rumbling along the highway. Dean drove in his usual no-nonsense way, but the silence between him and Julia wasn't the usual comfortable one. It was heavy, unspoken words hanging in the air. Julia knew Dean was still processing everything. He was good at burying things deep, but she knew the signs when something was still eating away at him.

"So, what's the deal with this case?" Julia asked, trying to break the silence.

Dean glanced at her before returning his gaze to the road. "Small town. Family's been having trouble with a spirit in their house. Kid's been seeing some woman in white hanging around, and things have started getting violent—furniture moving, scratches on the walls, the usual."

"A woman in white? Sounds like an old-school ghost story," Julia remarked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I figured it's a classic case. Simple, no surprises."

Julia didn't comment, but she knew what he was doing. He was easing himself back in, taking on something familiar, something that didn't involve demons or Marks of Cain. She couldn't blame him. They all needed a break from the crazy every once in a while.

When they arrived at the house, it looked like your typical suburban home. A white picket fence, a neat little yard, and nothing out of the ordinary—except for the family waiting on the porch, pale and exhausted.

Dean and Julia introduced themselves, doing the usual hunter routine—posing as private investigators sent to check out the disturbances. The family explained the strange occurrences, and the young boy, around ten years old, nervously described the woman in white he kept seeing in his room.

"She's always watching me," the boy whispered, glancing over his shoulder as if expecting the ghost to appear any second. "She's mad. I can feel it."

Dean crouched down to meet the kid's eye level, his voice softening in a way Julia hadn't seen in days. "Don't worry, buddy. We're gonna take care of her. She's not gonna hurt you anymore."

The kid looked up at Dean with wide, trusting eyes and nodded. It was moments like this where Julia could see the old Dean—the one who cared, who fought for people, who wanted to save others even when he couldn't save himself.

They started investigating the house, piecing together the history of the place. The woman in white was a spirit of a woman who had been murdered by her husband decades ago—classic unfinished business. Dean's theory was that she was latching onto the boy because he reminded her of her own son.

As they set up the usual ghost traps and EMF detectors, Dean was quiet, focused on the task at hand, but Julia could sense his internal struggle. He was here, but part of him still seemed distant, like he wasn't fully back yet.

Later that night, as they waited for the ghost to make her appearance, Julia couldn't hold back anymore. "Dean," she started, her voice low, not wanting to startle him. "You don't have to keep carrying this guilt. What happened—"

"Let's not, okay?" Dean cut her off, his jaw tight. "We're here for a job. Let's just focus on that."

Julia sighed, knowing it wasn't the time to push him. But she wouldn't let it go either. They needed to talk eventually. For now, she nodded, falling into the routine of the hunt.

The woman in white finally made her appearance just after midnight, drifting into the boy's room like a shadow. Dean and Julia were ready, salt rounds and iron crowbars at the ready. The fight was short but intense, the ghost angry and vicious. Dean took a few hits, but between him and Julia, they managed to burn the remains and put the spirit to rest.

As the ghost's ashes scattered, Dean stood there, panting slightly, staring at the spot where she had been. Julia could see the weight lift off him a little—the satisfaction of finishing a hunt. But it wasn't enough. Not yet.

"Good job," she said quietly as they packed up their gear.

Dean didn't respond immediately. He just glanced at her, his eyes shadowed with that same guilt he couldn't shake. "Yeah," he muttered. "One down."

They drove back to the bunker in silence, but Julia knew the real battle for Dean had just begun.

They arrived back at the motel after the long day, both exhausted and ready to settle in for the night. Dean was quieter than usual, more brooding than ever. He tossed his bag on the bed with more force than necessary and started pacing around the small room, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Julia noticed, of course—she always noticed.

She sat on the edge of her bed, watching him silently. She could feel his agitation growing, the tension radiating off him in waves. He hadn't spoken much since they left the house, and now, it was clear he was bottling everything up again. His shoulders were tight, his jaw clenched.

Finally, he stopped pacing and turned to her, his expression a mix of anger and something else she couldn't quite place. "Why the hell are you still here, Julia?"

She blinked, startled by the sudden question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean—why are you sticking around?" His voice was low but intense, like he was fighting to keep control. "Why do you care so much about me? Why are you still here after everything that's happened?"

Julia frowned, feeling her own frustration rise. "Dean, what are you talking about?"

He stepped closer, his eyes dark with emotion. "I hurt you, Julia. I nearly killed you, and you just...forgive me? How? Why? Why do you keep looking at me like I'm still the same guy? After everything I've done, after all the crap I've put you through—you just act like it doesn't matter. Why?"

She stood up, now face to face with him, the tension between them thick and suffocating. "It does matter, Dean. It matters to me."

"Then why?" His voice was louder now, almost desperate. "Why do you forgive me? Why are you still here? Why do you care?"

Julia's heart pounded in her chest, the words she'd been holding back for so long now right on the edge of her tongue. She couldn't stop them anymore. She couldn't keep it inside.

"Because I love you, Dean!" The confession burst out of her, raw and unfiltered. She took a shaky breath, her eyes locked with his. "I love you, okay? I've loved you for a while now, and I don't care about the Mark, or the Blade, or what you were when you were a demon. I know the real you. I know that the real you would never hurt me. That's why I'm still here. That's why I forgive you."

Dean stared at her, his face going completely still, stunned into silence. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Julia took another breath, her voice softer now, trembling. "You don't have to feel the same way. I'm not asking for anything. But you need to know that I see you, Dean. The real you. And that's the man I care about. Not the demon, not the guy who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders—but you."

For a moment, Dean didn't move. His eyes stayed locked on hers, and she saw the storm of emotions swirling in them—guilt, pain, confusion. Then, without warning, he closed the distance between them, his hands cupping her face, and kissed her.

The kiss was fierce, almost desperate, as if he was trying to pour every unspoken word, every buried feeling, into that one moment. Julia's heart raced, her hands gripping his arms as she kissed him back, feeling the weight of everything they'd been through together in that one connection.

When they finally pulled apart, Dean's forehead rested against hers, his breathing heavy, his voice low and hoarse. "I love you too," he whispered, his words barely audible. "I've been trying to ignore it, trying to push it down, but I do. I feel the same way."

Julia closed her eyes, relief washing over her. She leaned into him, letting the moment linger between them, knowing that even though things were far from perfect, they had finally broken through the walls they had built around each other.

Dean tightened his grip on her, pulling her closer, his lips brushing her temple as he murmured, "I don't deserve you, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I promise you that."

Julia smiled softly against his chest, her arms wrapping around him. "I know, it’ll be okay."

For the first time in what felt like forever, Dean let himself believe her.

The air between them felt different now—lighter, even with the weight of everything they still had to deal with. Julia rested her head against Dean's chest for a few moments longer, soaking in the warmth of the quiet moment. It was fleeting, she knew that much. Peace didn't last long in their line of work, but right now, it was enough.

Dean kissed the top of her head, then pulled back to look at her, his hands still on her arms, as if he needed the contact to stay grounded. "You sure you're ready for this, Julia? Hunting, I mean. After everything that's happened..."

She raised an eyebrow at him, a small smirk tugging at her lips. "You're seriously asking me that now? After I've been hunting with you for almost 2 years now?"

Dean chuckled, but there was still a trace of guilt in his eyes. "Yeah, well, things are different now. With the Mark...with me."

Julia placed her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze. "The Mark doesn't define you, Dean. You're still you. You're still a hunter. And I'm not going anywhere, whether you like it or not."

He stared at her, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. "I don't deserve you."

Julia shook her head, her voice firm. "Stop saying that. You deserve more than you think."

Dean was silent for a moment, his eyes searching hers as if trying to find something to argue back with, but eventually, he just sighed. "Alright. But if you're sticking around, I'm not going easy on you."

Julia grinned. "Wouldn't expect anything less."

They stood there for a few more seconds, the weight of what had just happened still settling over them. Finally, Dean pulled away, running a hand through his hair and clearing his throat "we should get some rest tonight, we have to head back early tomorrow." Julia nodded, without saying a word.

That night, they settled in their respective beds in the motel room. Dean kept to himself, quiet but not distant, his mind clearly spinning with thoughts he wasn't ready to voice. Julia could feel the shift, the weight of everything still hanging between them, but she didn't push him. They had crossed a line tonight, and it would take time for things to settle. She could wait.

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facesofopioids-blog · 6 years ago

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Spotlight Sunday

"God's Kiss"

By: Kelly Morgan

So there he was, standing in front of me, his smile his eyes has bright blue eyes every part of his face Charmed me to no end. He asked me if I would go out with him sometime, I said sure, why not. Here I was the single mom of 3 boys working two jobs, how on Earth could I possibly say no to such a Charming Man. The beginning of our relationship started off with him picking me up for an hour or two before my midnight shift and he would ask me do you want to go for a ride of course I always said yes because that was the only time I was going to get with him while I was working. After a while I began to realize that these little drives and trips seemed very odd I would be sitting in the car and he would go into a house, it was never the same house, and he would stay inside for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and I would just sit in the car. It didn't dawn on me until a few months later when I was having severe back pain and he reached into his pocket and he pulled out a little yellow pill, what he had really been doing in those houses. All of those little trips and drives that I went with him on for the first few months of our relationship had really been him selling and flipping pain pills. I had taken pain pills in the past after surgery or after breaking a bone, but never had I paid any attention to the feeling that it gave me. I never realized that I was getting an intense euphoric High. But from that day forward, he would hand me the occasional pills weather at the white, yellow, or blue. Then he introduced to me the brown one the one that he said would be hard to chew up because it's not supposed to be chewed up. It was my first Oxycontin. I remember not being able to keep my eyes open not being able to pee, throwing up, and just being completely out of it, and that was the first time I realized that my Prince Charming was just feeding me pills. This one on from May of 2013 when he convinced me to quit those two jobs and go back to my old job as a dancer. I didn't think anything of it, but he said that the extra money could help us get a house and a car and take care of the kids, and it would be a lot easier to do the things that we wanted to do together. So I did just that. I went back to work as a dancer and it first I loved it. I had missed dancing. I didn't think I would still be any good at it. After about 2 months of dancing, I decided after having a really good night of work where I made $800 in 4 hours, that we should go and do something really fun. I decided to plan a trip to an amusement park. One that I had not been to in years, one that I remember going to since the age of 6 years old every year until I was 18 years old. Remembering it always being a blast and we never ever left early. We stayed until the very end, until the parade, and until the fireworks, and then falling asleep in the car on the way home. I was really really looking forward to our day at the amusement park and we went, and we rode a few rides, but then all of a sudden things felt different just around 2 p.m. I started to feel really tired, a little bit sweaty, had just lost all of my energy, so much so that we took a break. Put our heads down and started to fall asleep. I just really did not feel good and I wasn't sure why, but I figured it wasn't getting any better so let's just go home and it was only 4 p.m.. After spending all of the money on the trip and for food and everything that we did at the amusement park, gas, tolls and every other expense I knew I only had about $40 left and he asked me on the way home for that $40. Then he decided to call his friend and we stopped at his friends house. After he met his friend, he handed me a pill. Sure enough, 20 minutes later I started to feel better and that's when I knew I was becoming physically dependent, physically dependent on pain pills..

Now let's fast forward 3 months. He started coming to my house acting really really funny. His face would be beat red. He would be just sitting there and he would start nodding out. I would find him in the bathroom sleeping on the toilet. He would be gone from my house for hours and hours upon hours. However for these hours all I did was sit home and wonder where he was and what he was doing.. Then on Halloween of 2013, my phone went off and there was a text message from one of his friends and it stated "Brandon, don't do it three times and you are hooked, it is the worst decision I've ever made in my life." I became concerned and I questioned him wondering what this text could possibly mean, and when I asked him what he had been doing and what this text was about. His answer was he had smoked a Wiki stick. I had no idea what that was. I had never done a drug in my life, so he elaborated further and told me that it was marijuana rolled up dipped in embalming fluid and then you would smoke it. For some reason I just couldn't believe it. There was no way that anything that had to do with marijuana could be getting him this messed up. I then decided to call his friend. I wanted to figure out the truth what it was that he was really doing and they told me that it was up to him to let me know. But he wouldn't. So I decided to continue my day. It was Halloween, we needed to get home and get the boys ready for trick-or-treating. Before we went trick-or-treating, he said we needed to go to the gas station, and that's when I saw it my first hand to hand Exchange. I had no idea what it was that he had in his hand. I asked him after we were trick-or-treating what it was that he had and he didn't say anything. I saw him walking to my bathroom so I decided to barge in behind him. I asked him let me see this, stop and so he showed it to me he pulled out this tiny little bag with a little whitish tan Chunk in it. At that point I had figured out that it was heroin. I then demanded that he do some in front of me, and he did just that and then out of pure Spite and pure anger not even the slightest amount of curiosity just anger and hostility, I demanded him.. okay, now let me try some, let me see what this big hype is all about, let me understand what it is that is making you come to my house everyday so messed up that you can't even keep your eyes open. He responds with no no no, and I continued with my anger. I said no, let me do some. I really need to see what the big deal is. And finally he gave in. He broke out a little tiny line on my bathroom sink and he rolled up a dollar bill for me and I put it in my nose and I snorted the substance off of my bathroom sink. I walked into my bedroom and I just remember this intense very intense feeling of euphoria. What I had done, they always describe the feeling is God's kiss, and to this day although at the time it made sense, the phrase used to describe what I felt in that moment absolutely disgusts me. I had no idea what I had just gotten myself into but I became a monster for exactly 10 months. I was working and working, just making money to support my new habit. One that I had no idea I would get by just doing one small line. I did anything and everything any addicts would do to get their High. I lied I stole, I pawned everything I owned, I ran from the police I'm in if you waited people absolutely anything and everything to get that feeling again. But you only get that feeling once, you don't get it again, because now you are stuck. Your mind doesn't need it but your body does. You just can't go without it, you can't function, you can't get up in the morning, you can't take care of your children.. you neglect everything, you aren't yourself anymore, you don't shower, you don't put makeup on, you don't spend time with anyone, you avoid family, you've lost all your friends, you've lost your mind, and you've lost yourself. You have no self respect, you have no dignity, you are not recognizable by those around you, you can't even recognize yourself when you look into a mirror.

I will never forget the last time I decided I was going to get high. I had danced all night it was 3 in the morning when I got off of work. I asked my friend to give me a ride so that I could go and get my dope. I would originally go to Illinois, that was my go-to, but because it was so late my friend asked me.. no can we just go where we went before work since it's a lot closer and it's really late. So I called that guy instead and he said come on. And so we went and on the way there I get a text on my phone that said "ALLEY". I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING OF GOING INTO THE ALLEY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. As we approach the street that turns into the alley, I turned in my friend and I said your car is making a funny noise, my Prince Charming in the backseat says, “no the car is not making a funny noise those are gunshots”. I said, no they're not.. I was oblivious. I didn't care. I just needed to get high. I didn't want to be sick. So I said, “we're fine, we're fine, let's go”, and then we turn into the alley. My boyfriend tells my friend to turn off the headlights so that no cops would see us and she did just that. I remember a sense of anxiety as I was looking down at my phone texting my dealer three different texts that I will never forget. The first one said I'm here, the second one then said, Hurry I'm here, and the final text said, I'm here hurry. It was then that I heard the Earth shattering words OH MY GOD HE HAS A GUN!!! I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO THINK I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO BLINK I TURN MY HEAD TO THE LEFT AND I PUT MY RIGHT ARM AND HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE BULLETS WERE FLYING LEFT AND RIGHT. I REMEMBER SCREAMING REVERSE REVERSE GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE REVERSE REVERSE GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE. But then I found out I never said a word I didn't make a peep until I realized I was in a gas station parking lot. I was safe, and then I leaned over in my seat and it's really warm feeling in my chest and blood just started pouring out of my mouth. My hand and my arm felt like they were on fire, and I looked down and all I see is just blood. I look to the right of me because at that point I realized I have been shot.

Not one time, not two times, but three. I turned my head and I looked at the back of my seat and I saw more blood and that's when I realized I had been hit in my head and I was terrified. I let out the most horrific scream anybody could ever let out. My prince charming gets out of the back seat and he comes up to me and he's like my baby, she shot, she's been shot, she's hurt. Call an ambulance. Before the ambulance could get there I was begging him please hold me, I'm going to die, he asked me, “what about my warrant” I said I don't care, I'm dying, I'm bleeding to death, please just hold me. And he didn't. He ran. He left me there to die, because he was more concerned about going to jail then the fact that he was about to lose the so-called love of his life to drugs and gunfire. There was no time to waste. When I thought I was yelling at them to reverse reverse and get out of the alley, I wasn't yelling. I was dead. I was looking at myself in that vehicle trying to tell them how to get us to safety. I remember getting into the ambulance. I remember talking to the paramedics, and then nothing. I had coded. My heart stopped in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. And then I remember a nurse asking me for a family members phone number and I remember giving my mom's phone number and my sister's phone number. And then I forget some more.. My heart had stopped again. I was at. One last time and barely stabilize me and I remember hearing my mom's voice asking me what happened and I remember responding mom I got shot I got shot. Let's fast-forward 2 days I wake up trying to pull the breathing tube out of my throat I remember family member squeezing my hand, asking me if I could hear them and I squeezed. I squeeze really really hard and multiple times so that they could know I can hear them and that I was alive.

So let's backtrack a second so where I said that the words used to describe the feeling when I did that first line of heroin as God's kiss and why it disgusts me is because I know truly what God's kiss really feels like. It feels like opening your eyes to having your whole family standing around you thanking him for saving your life. Thanking him for getting you out of that alley and bringing you to safety. And it feels like being able to quit heroin cold turkey, in the Intensive Care Unit while you are urinating on yourself. God's kiss is being able to wake up everyday now for 4 years one month and 23 days sober and clean and not having to chase a high. God's kiss is being able to once again look in the mirror and recognize yourself. God's kiss is being able to be here and still hear the sound of your children's laughter even their screaming and their fighting, the little things like that that I used to take for granted. God's kiss is being able to feel your children's arms wrap around you, to hug you, or their little lips kissing you on the cheek and hearing them tell you how much they love you. God's kiss is being able to be 100% yourself around your family, around your friends, not having to hide the fact that you're high and not having to avoid them when you're sick. God's kiss is being given a second chance at life when you didn't feel that you deserved one. Although my addiction was short-lived, just 10 months, it doesn't justify anything as I previously stated. I was a monster. I had no strength. I wasn't happy. I wasn't me. I didn't exist. I am so blessed to be able to say that I am still here today and I'm not just existing. I don't try to numb any pain. I live my life through anything, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad it sucks that I had to go through what I did. That tragic moment in my life as tragic as it was saved my life. I will say it time and time again, if the drugs don't kill you, the lifestyle will. And to this day I could be really really bitter I could be really angry at the people who shot me.. But why for what? It doesn't fix anything, it doesn't undo any damage. So instead of sulking and crying about it, I decided to pick my head up. And it’s when I finally picked my head up, that I came to the realization that I may actually need to thank these guys. Because although they almost killed me, they also saved my life. If I wouldn't have taken those bullets that night, drugs would have taken me. And I am living proof that if you have the strength to take real bullets, then you can take anything life has to throw at you. You don't need drugs to numb the pain, you need pain. It is how you know you are alive. I've heard a lot of people say that fear has two meanings. You can fear everything and run.. You can face everything and you can rise. But I decided to come up with my own rendition of that, my own meaning of fear…

YOU CAN FEEL EVERYTHING AND YOU CAN RECOVER!!!. MY NAME IS KELLY AND THIS IS MY STORY AND I TRULY HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL INSPIRE SOMEBODY. I DON'T WANT ANYBODY AFRAID THAT IF THEY GO AND BUY DRUGS THEY COULD GET SHOT AND ALMOST DIE, I WANT MY INSPIRATION TO BE ABOUT STRENGTH AND ABOUT FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. #sundayspotlight #facesofopioids #addiction #overdose

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