#She owned horses so I tried to use all the crazy horse terminology but she had no idea what the fuck I was on about

[scrodent]

Sometimes I get the rare opportunity to talk to a normal horse owner about care and training, and it's jarring to realize just how lost in the sauce I am.

Most people own horses just to have a big, expensive, living lawn gnome that eats all their ground. They ride maybe once a year. I cannot stress this enough, this is about 70% of horse people.

Imo these beasts are far too expensive to just look at. Also without regular handling they get really shitty, dangerous and unhealthy, so let's put that thing to work. But I can't just talk to the average horse owner about shit like the effects of inside and outside rein, the function of leg aids vs seat aids, and getting your horse off the forehand like it's the fucking school of Athens. They just don't GET it. And I can't even say they're the weird one because they're not, I know it's me.

[fernwehbookworm]

Haunted- Chapter 4

The night was nearly sleepless as Kara tosses and turns. The few snatches she manages to catch are filled with shadowy hands and bright lights. Sometimes, she could swear she could hear Lena calling to her. Kara gives up around 4am and does the only thing she can think of, diving back into research. She has to actually begin to decipher the scientific terminology in the report.

“You look like shit.” Alex mumbles as she trudges into the room to start coffee.

“Pot calling the Kettle.”

“And under your eyes is just as black. I think your bags have bags.”

“And I think I almost have this figured out. I think… I think Lena was working on a matter transporter.”

Alex grabs three mugs from her cupboard and begins to get out sugar and creamer. “What? Like ‘Beam me up Scotty?’ Teleporting?”

“No, nothing that complicated. It seems the goal was to be able to send things like fruits and vegetables or medicines to third world countries. From what I can figure out, they were close, but Lena pushed the experiment by herself that night and used an apple which is much more complex than the small sample of pure iron they had been trying. From what the research team was able to decipher, an energy surge from the machine vaporized all the organic material near it, the apple, Lena, and some granola bars at a different workstation.”

“Wow, that is intense. I guess it's lucky that the explosion didn’t expand past the lab then. It could have been a catastrophe.”

“Yes, I believe they are scraping the project soon. Which will be a shame, it feels like they should finish it to honor Lena.”

“Or they shouldn’t so no one else gets hurt.”

“Very true. Got any pancake mix?”

Alex laughs and begins routing through her cupboards to make breakfast. Kara continues to reread everything, hoping to absorb more. Kelly appears, dressed in a sharp pant suit, and kisses Alex on the cheek. Kara feels a faint ache in her chest. It had been so long since she had this domesticity, even though it all had been a sham. It took a whole year for Kara to figure out she was the other woman, while Mike went home to his wife and two kids in the suburbs and left Kara waiting for him at his rented apartment in the city. She was completely unaware of his double life, Mike had told her he was on business trips. Until she figured it out, it was the happiest Kara had been. Then she was crushed. Last she heard, Mike and his wife were still together.

Kara pushes the loneliness away and refocuses on her computer, twirling the pen between her fingers. Out of the corner of her eye, Kara can now see Lena sitting in the chair to her right. Instead of focusing on the phantom, Kara just smiles and keeps working. When Alex and Kelly enter with pancakes, the image evaporates.

Slightly disappointed, Kara grabs a plate and a small stack of pancakes to douse in syrup. Nothing is better then Alex’s pancakes. Maybe sex, but sometimes the pancakes top that. They are made with the love of a sister and that’s all Kara needs right now.

“We have to leave in ten, I can drive you to work afterwards.” Kelly says eventually.

“Shounds mood,” Kara mumbles through a mouthful of fluffy goodness.

Kara swears she hears a giggle from behind her but fights the urge to turn around, she can’t be crazy. Not in front of the therapist. The last thing Kara needs is to be committed before this article is done.

><><><><>

“Okay, just try and relax. This is a full dive virtual reality. Physically you won’t move, but your mind will feel like it is. The program will read your thought patterns and try to take you to a happy place.”

Kara removes her glasses and takes the little black case from Kelly. With a deep  breath, Kara pops the contact lenses into her eyes and Kara lays down on a very stereotypical leather couch and tries to do as Kelly says.

“Now, to activate the deep dive the key phrase to think is ‘Obsidian Pineapple Boots.’”

“Obsidian Pineapple Boo—” Kara gasps in surprise before she finishes her question.

Her vision goes black and then descends into a tunnel of colors before she finds herself in the snow. It’s shin deep but her boots protect her. The warm fur coat is soft and smells of home. Kara slowly turns as she takes in the landscape. SHe is home. Her childhood home. Before the fire. Trees are shrouded in snow and the full moon reflects off the ground, creating a false sense of daylight. The house is lit up with colorful lights and Stars of David. A menorah is burning in the front bay window. Everything is just as she remembers from when she was a child. Even the bite of the wind on her nose brings tears to her eyes, both from the cold and emotion.

"It's beautiful." Kelly says softly from beside her, dressed in her own winter clothing.

"It is." Kara steps up on the porch to look in the window.

Bathed in yellow light, Kara sees something she can't explain. The interior seems to be a mix of the Danvers beach home with her parents more rustic home from the outskirts of Moscow. Inside is her parents, and Jeremiah, Eliza, and Alex. A Christmas tree stands in a corner with stockings hanging from the mantle. On the mantle is a menorah. Its a perfect mix of both of her lives. One before the fire and one after.

"It seems you must equally think of your childhood home and the Danvers home as safe. The program pulled them together for you."

Kara only nods, unable to speak. A tear escapes her eye as she pulls off a glove to touch her fingertips to the cold glass. Instead of going in, Kara sits on the porch swing, hearing the familiar squeak as her momentum carries her back. Kelly eases herself into it with her.

"I didn't think I would ever see their faces again. If it wasn't for the couple of scorched pictures, I don't think I would remember them." Kara whispers into the cold night air. Music can be heard playing through the walls of the house and Kara closes her eyes to soak it in.

"That's part of why we are trying to launch this therapy program. So people can see loved ones again. Process emotions and maybe get closure. Our studies so far have yielded mostly positive results."

"Mostly?"

"There are a few people who, when confronted with past abusers and victims, were actually worse off. They require more traditional therapy. But it has helped build a screening program for who will be benefited by the virtual program and who won't be."

The conversation has helped Kara reign in some of her emotions and she takes a deep breath. "So what do we do now?"

"Now, we go back to where it started. Can you picture it? The lab that you first learned of Lena Luthor."

“Yeah. Easily. It's been a frequent place in my—" Suddenly instead of a swing, Kara is sitting in a lab stool with Kelly on one next to her. "---dreams." Kara finishes softly.

"You've been dreaming of the lab?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I just sit here and talk to Lena. Not about anything important to remember when I wake up. Sometimes I see her but it's like she can't see me."

Lena seems to fade into focus, already mid stride as she walks towards the matter transporter and begins to pull a panel off.

"And this?" Kelly asks.

"One time, she was pulling it apart. Trying to figure out what went wrong. Mumbling to herself that she didn't understand what could have happened."

In a blink, Lena was back at the computer. The room went dark. It was exactly Kara's nightmare from the night before. Kara's breathing picks up as she realizes what is happening.

"What is happening?" Kelly asks.

“This was my nightmare last night. I saw the accident happen. But I don't think it was an accident. Watch." Kara points to the man shaped blur of darkness as Lena is drawn closer to the machine.

"You mean how you think it happened?"

"Huh?" Kara is only half listening as she  watches the light getting brighter. She can only see Lena's silhouette. Then that is gone. The whole lab is. Kelly and Kara are sitting at her kitchen table with Kelly on her right and Lena is sitting on her left. It's just like the first time that she and Lena talked.

"You mean how.you think it happened? You weren't actually there." Kelly points out.

"I know. But it just feels so real. Like I'm not watching my memories. I'm seeing hers." Kara gestures to Lena. *But then sometimes we just sit and talk and I've learned a lot about her. Like things I don't think I could make up. Like this. This was the first dream I had of her. I feel asleep after researching and then she appeared. We talked. She said she had been following me all day. She even called me Ponytail like Snapper did. Then when I asked about her life, she told me she hadn't really been living. She just worked herself to the bone. She was lonely and sad and found little joy in things outside of her lab."

"That is all details your subconscious could fill in with all the research you have been doing. You could feel like you know her. You saw the amount of projects and technological advancements L-Corp was involved in. And with how little she was in tabloids, she probably lived in her office half the time."

"Yeah she did. She even got a pull out sofa for nights she worked too late to go home."

"Did she tell you that?"

Kara watches Lena. She seems like she is laughing and carrying on a conversation with Kara, but Kara can't hear the laughter. But that smile, it could make Kara swoon. The way she shows almost too many teeth and scrunches her nose up. It's beautiful.

"Yeah, she did tell me that. But then I asked Jess, the acting CEO now, and she said it was true."

"You have good instincts then. Reporting is definitely the profession for you."

"There's been other things too. Stuff I haven't found online but I would email Jess and she would tell me it was true. And be pretty surprised that I would know."

"Like what?"

Lena gets up and goes to get a glass of water, moving around Kara's apartment like she had been there a hundred times.

"Like, she had a horse as a kid. It was the only pet she was allowed. He's name was Comet. Beautiful white stallion. Or that Lena was actually born in Ireland. That's not anywhere. Her adoption records were sealed. But it's all true."

"So Lena was an orphan from a different country?"

"As far as she knows. She saw her mother drown one morning, there is still no evidence whether it was suicide or and accident, and her father was never in the picture. Then the Luthors adopted her and brought her home." Kara smiles as she watches Lena in her pretend conversation. "She even still curses in Gaelic when she is angry, or slips into an accent when she is drunk."

"All confirmed by Jess?"

Kara sighs and finally looks back to Kelly. "Yeah. They were just too specific for me to ignore. I had to ask. At least Jess knows I'm trying to do an article on her or it would just sound stalkerish."

Kelly opens her mouth to respond but then it's like lag in a video game. She gets all jerky, disappears and reappears two feet to the left. Then she stands, sits, disappears and is gone.

"Oh god, finally." Kara jumps as Lena actually speaks next to her. "It took forever to figure out how to get into this program and to speak. Sorry I think I kicked your therapist out."

"Lena!" Kara gasps.

"The one and only." Lena smirks.

"This is real right? You are really here? I'm not crazy?"

"Yes jeez. Quite. I don't know how much time I have. I figured out what went wrong with the matter transporter. I'm somehow stuck in between planes of existence. That pen you stole, yes stole." Lena pauses to acknowledge Kara's sheepish expression. "I think that is my anchor in this plane. Well, the actual plane. But this virtual reality is making it easier to talk to you. Okay so if you hold that pen, it's easier for me to communicate. But I need you to help me."

An error message starts flashing above Kara's kitchen table. Then an override starts to be plugged in underneath it.

"Crap. She's terminating the program. Look, I need you to turn the machine back on. But reverse it so I can get back. I'm not dead. But I might be soon. It's getting harder. I feel like I'm fading. But not. Like it's getting harder to hold all my molecules together.  They are trying to scatter and transfer my energy back into the universe."

"But—"

"Just hurry Kara! And remember the Pe—"

Kara snaps up right as her apartment disappears and she is suddenly back in Kelly's office.  “Kara!” Kelly yells out.

“No! Wait! Why did you pull me out?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’ I suddenly got kicked out of my own therapy program. I’m the admin. That should not have happened. It's still an experimental program. I was worried.”

“She was there! I’m not going crazy. And she needs my help.” Kara hastily removes the lenses and grabs her purse.

“Kara! Wait! It was a glitch. Lena wasn’t actually there. I think your subconscious took over a bit.”

“No! She was there! I know it. I can feel it. I have to go.”

“Kara! Wai—” the office door slams shut behind Kara and she is practically sprinting through the hallway and to the elevator.

Kara doesn’t go to work. She hails a cab and heads straight to Alex’s. She uses her spare key to get inside and immediately starts packing up all her stuff. Kara scoops Streaky off the back of the couch and tucks him under an arm. This is the first place Kelly will look for her. Kara had asked the cab to wait for her and she climbs back in, immediately heading to her apartment. Once she is safely home, Kara locks her door and takes a deep breath. Streaky wiggles from her grasp with a meow of protest and disappears under the couch.

“The Pen!” Kara exclaims and digs in her computer bag. Kara cries out in victory as she snatches it from the depths and pulls it out. Then… Nothing happens. Kara slides down the front door and sits with her knees tucked into her chest.

“Come on… Come on….” Kara grips the pen, eyes roving the apartment, looking for any indication of Lena.

“Geez, relax. I’m like anchored to you or that pen. I've been here the whole time. You’re the one who couldn’t see me.” Lena materializes next to Kara, causing her to jump.

“Holy crap! Don’t do that.” Kara glares at Lena.

Lena just laughs and begins to wander around Kara’s apartment. She occasionally tries to touch things, successfully brushing a sheet of paper to the floor and rattling a glass. Her hand passes through the counter and the handle of the fridge.

“Wow. Okay. This is real. And I am not actually being haunted.”

“I mean I guess you kind of are. I’m a loose collection of energy that is somehow tied to either you or that pen or both, and I have been doing everything in my limited power to get your attention.”

“Okay, I may be even crazier than I thought. What the actual fuck is happening?”

“Ooo… That may be the first time I’ve heard you cuss. Very attractive. You should do that more often.” Lena strides back towards Kara. It’s a weird experience because there is no sound to accompany her footsteps. Kara glares at her ghost.

“Look, what I have been able to figure out is that something went wrong with my transmatter portal and I am now trapped in a void between places. It’s very hard to describe and I have no scientific terms on it. All I know is it feels like every molecule in my body is trying to separate and scatter and I am using every ounce of my will to keep it together.” Lena sits next to Kara on the floor.

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“I need you to turn the machine back on and reverse it. I think I can coach you through the settings.”

“Oh yeah. Sure. Just turn the machine back on. In a high-security lab. Easy.” Kara rests her elbows on her knees and runs both hands through her hair.

“It's fine. I can get you in through my private entrance.”

“I am sooo getting arrested for this. And then thrown in the looney bin.”

“Not if we succeed. I promise you, I will literally buy you a penthouse of your choice if you do this.”

“I don’t want a penthouse.”

“Car?”

“Nope.”

“Come on, everyone wants something.”

“How about a date?” “A what?”

“You know, a date. Go out for food, maybe some sort of entertainment, maybe some hand-holding.”

Lena looks puzzled still. “You don’t want money or a penthouse? You want to take me ,” Lena points to Kara and then to herself, “on a date.”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I want to take a beautiful woman who has given all of herself to the world to dinner?”

“Because I am a total stranger who is basically haunting you and we don’t know each other.”

“Well I have done a deep dive into your personal life, which is strange and stalker-y but, in my defense, you were dead, and I like what I have seen. You have also basically been following me for the past couple days so I hope you have seen enough to give me a yes or no answer. Full disclosure, I will still help you even if you say no, but I re—” Kara freezes when she feels something cold brush across her hand. Kara looks down to see Lena’s hand resting on top of hers.

“You are rambling.” Lena smiles and Kara swears she has goosebumps. “Yes, I would love to go on a date with you. But first, I need a body to do it.”

“Right! Yes! Of course. How do we start?”

Lena removes her hand from Kara’s and places it under her chin to think. “Well, I think we will have to wait until tomorrow night. Security will be tighter but there will be fewer people. And alarms won't be an issue since I can take you through my personal doors. It would just be the people. Hopefully, Jess has actually left the office during all this.”

“She barely has. She would answer my emails at any time of the night. She might actually be sleeping there.”

“Her husband is not going to be happy with me then. I’ll have to make sure to send them on a trip as soon as possible.”

“That will give me time to finish this article.”

“Finish it? But I’m not dead.”

“But no one else knows that. My editor still wants the story by tomorrow morning to be edited and put to print. Look, you can read it. It will just be good press and then I can start on your miracle return.”

“Ah, so you're just in it for the story.” Lena accuses but there is a playful glint in her eye that tells Kara she knows it's not the full truth.

“That’s the only reason I am helping the most beautiful ghost to ever exist. For a story.

Lena doesn't respond with a witty comeback, she just grins ear to ear and ducks her head to avoid Kara’s gaze.

“Let me show you the article, it would be great to get your opinion. I’ve mostly just been using Jess for fact-checking.”

“Well, Jess does know most of my life. She’s one of the only friends I have.”

“Good to know you consider her a friend. She didn’t seem so sure. But I can tell she loves you.” Kara makes her way to the kitchen table and opens her laptop.

[thegoodthebadthesickly]

Hi! I was rereading your Bad thing happen Bingo prompt fics and I thought it would be so ironic for Percy to be dehydrated and for Nico to have hallucinations in two different fics, if you want.

OOF. This is crazy late and I’m not even sure you’re still out there, nonny, but here it Nico with hallucinations! I hope you like it!

Stars are completed, swirls are requested!

Request: Hallucinations

Fandom: PJO/HoO

Requested by: Anonymous on Tumblr

If you've read my Riordan!verse book, this plot probably looks familiar, but it was really cute and a perfect fit for some Solangelo whump! So sue me! Actually, please don't. I'm poor.

"Nico, are you paying attention?" Will asked, waving a hand in front of Nico's glassy eyes.

"Hmm?" Nico hummed, blinking innocently, trying to make his brain focus on what Will was saying. "I'm listening." The drowsiness really wasn't his fault, it was the stupid meds he was on for the cold that had somehow developed into an all-star blend of bronchitis/flu he'd managed to catch thanks to his chronically crappy 1920s immune system that somehow still wasn't used to the germs of the 21st century.

"Then explain the dosages of these medications to me before I leave for work." Will demanded, gesturing to the bedside table full of various bottles of pills and liquids.

"Two of the little yellow and white ones every twelve hours, two of the blue ones every six hours, a full cup of the brown stuff, a full cup of the yellow stuff when I need to stay awake and breathe, a full cup of the pink stuff when I don't want to puke, and two sprays of the nose stuff if I want to be able to breathe out of my nose." Nico rasped, hacking and coughing when all of the talking irritated his shredded throat.

"The terminology was a little lacking, but that was actually right." Will said in disbelief, surveying the various bottles of pills and liquids. "Are you sure you don't want me to call in? You're still so weak. You barely made it to the bathroom without getting winded earlier." Will knit his eyebrows, frowning as he sat down beside Nico and put a hand to his forehead. Yep, fever was still as present as ever.

"Will, it's already been three days. I think I can manage to keep myself alive for the next twelve hours." Nico tried, and failed to sit up on his mountain of pillows in an attempt to show independence, all he really got was another worried look from Will.

"Plus," Nico continued, knowing that Will was one cough away from calling into work again, "You never know when you'll need a sick day for yourself." Nico wheezed, trying to breathe normally as his lungs screamed for oxygen.

"Doctor's don't get sick."

"Charlotte," Nico looked to the other side of the bed to see their cat lounging across Will's vacant pillow, "Do you want to remind your father about the Great Pneumonia Debacle of 2017, or should I?" He asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Merrr. Charlotte trilled.

"Charlotte, language!" Will laughed. "Alright, alright. Point taken. I'll go to work, but I'll be back at 3 to check on you, or I'll send Annabeth. She's immune to your charms." Will stood up, folding his arms and giving Nico an incredulous look.

"No one is immune to my charms, right Charlotte?" Nico smirked, looking over at the cat who was now sound asleep.

"She agrees." Nico reassured Will.

"I'm sure." Will laughed and rolled his eyes, leaning down to give Nico a kiss on the forehead.

Nico took one last opportunity to breathe in the scent of Will before he turned and walked to the door to get his bag.

"For the record," Nico said nonchalantly, leaning back into his pillows, "I know that was a poorly disguised attempt to check my temperature." He called as Will rounded the corner out of the bedroom.

"For the record, you still have one." Will grinned, popping his head back into the doorway.

Will disappeared and Nico could hear the front door opening a moment later.

"Love you. Try not to fall and hit your head on the bathtub or overdose on Advil today!" Will yelled, mostly joking.

"I make no promises." Nico screeched back. "Love you too."

Nico coughed roughly, barely hearing the door shut. When he could -- sort of -- breathe normally once again, Nico wished he'd asked Will to stay. Being left alone with his crappy immune system and nothing to distract him from his own thoughts was not very high on Nico's agenda.

After laying around in bed for a while, Nico got up, tried not to fall over from the wave of dizziness that consumed him momentarily, wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, and shuffled to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

"Try to eat something." Will's voice echoed in his head. Maybe he'd try some toast, Nico thought. Will would be proud of Nico's budding self-preservation skills.

On second thought, Nico corrected, he was glad Will had gone to work. Dr. Solace had barely let him out of bed for the last three days and had basically been drowning him in soup. If he was winded just by walking to the kitchen, Nico thought he'd just keep that to himself.

Finding the kettle, Nico filled it with water and put it on the stove to boil. He found some English breakfast tea and his favorite mug and set them on the counter beside the stove. Seeing little black and white spots on the edges of his vision prompted Nico to sit at the table and wait for the kettle to boil. Maybe Will had been onto something by putting him on bed rest.

Once he was sure he wouldn't pass out and bludgeon himself on the kitchen sink, Nico got up once again to make himself some toast like his Will voice had suggested. As he finished buttering the toast, the kettle made a high pitched whistle noise, indicating that it was ready.

After carefully pouring the boiling water with trembling hands -- which could have been from hunger, fever, or both -- Nico sat down to eat. He could feel nausea building in his stomach, but he knew it'd only get worse if he didn't eat. Plus, he wouldn't be able to stomach any of the meds until he ate.

Nico ate and drank slowly, sure that every bite or sip would send him hobbling towards the bathroom. Thankfully, he managed to keep the food and drink down and the nausea had faded to a manageable level.

He was tired. No. Not just tired. There had to be a word for more than tired, but Nico's gummy brain wouldn't think of it right now.

Nico quickly, in spirit, not body, shuffled back to the room and his bed. When he was settled, he measured out all of the various pills and liquids he was supposed to take, one of everything since it was the first dose of the day, and was about to pass out when he remembered to set an alarm for his next dose of meds, and promptly passed out.

Nico had weird dreams, but that was pretty normal if you were a Demigod or taking prescription strength cough medicine. There was something about a goatman and there was also a horse who kept yelling at Nico and calling him a cupcake.

Beep Beep Beep

The annoying sound was slowly pulling Nico out of weird dreams and a deep sleep. He cracked his eyes opened and looked around for his phone, which turned out to be underneath Charlotte. She was not happy to be disturbed and jumped off of the bed as Nico pressed snooze on the alarm. He sat up and clumsily sorted out all of the medicine he needed to take. Once he'd taken the cough medicine, pepto bismol, advil, tylenol, and nasal spray had been successfully administered, Nico set the alarm for the next dose and fell back into the weird dreams.

Beep Beep Beep

Nico felt like he'd barely managed to fall back into sleep when his alarm was dragging him back out of sleep again. He looked around the room blearily and thought that it was much too bright to be four o'clock, but couldn't really focus long enough to care. He took the required medication and, feeling oddly jittery, got up and, once the subsequent dizziness subsided, grabbed a blanket and shuffled into the living room.

Nico felt weird, kind of spacey and floaty, like he'd been given laughing gas at the dentist's office. He also felt hot, his cheeks felt like they were on fire when he put a hand on his face. Also, he was a little numb. Part of him, the common sense part, seemed to think he should be worried about this, but the other part of him, the part that honestly felt a little drunk, told the other side to be quiet. This was the best he'd felt in three days. Then, he was tired. So, so tired. Nico tried to decide if he could make it back to his bed, but the decision seemed to be made for him when he was already drifting off again on the arm of the couch.

Consciousness pulled at his brain. No! Just a few more minutes! He begged his brain.

As the wheels of his brain began to spin, Nico got the distinct feeling that he wasn't alone. At first, he thought it was Charlotte, but the presence felt "human." His second thought was Will, but Will's presence felt different. Nico opened his eyes.

At first, he couldn't really make out the figure sitting across from him. His brain and eyes were not friends at the moment. Nico rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and tried to figure out who was watching him sleep.

Black hair pulled to the side in an artful braid, olive skin, just a little taller than Nico now; back then, she'd been almost a foot taller. She wore the tell-tale uniform of the Hunters of Artemis, but Nico thought he could see the brim of her green hat poking out from one of the pockets.

Was throwing up from happiness a thing, because Nico was really nauseous and really happy all at once. There were lots of other emotions, confusion chief among them, but happiness and nausea were at the forefront of his foggy brain for the moment.

"Bianca?" Nico screeched, jumping off the couch and subsequently almost passing out from the vertigo.

"Woah, sit down! You look awful, fratellino." Bianca laughed softly and gently pulled Nico back onto the couch.

Nico tried to gather his thoughts, but his head ached and everything was still spinning. There were so many questions, but all Nico could come up with was "What?"

Bianca just shrugged.

"Well that's helpful." Nico retorted, finally recovering some of his snark. " How are you here? Why are you here?"

"I can't really explain, I just had to see you. I can't stay long."

"Why not?"

"Just because."

"That's not fair."

"Tell me how your life has been, fratellino." Bianca said, changing the subject.

"Th-there's so much I need to tell you. So much has happened."

"Why don't we start here." Bianca said, sounding curious as she got up off of the couch and took a picture of Nico and Will from Christmas.

"Th-that's Will." Nico said simply. Suddenly, he was scared. He'd never officially come out to Bianca.

"Didn't we meet him when we first went to Camp? He was smaller then, but so were you." Bianca laughed.

Nico couldn't breathe.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Bianca asked the same was one might ask "What's for lunch today?"

"Uh...yeah."

"He's cute. A lot more sunshiny than I thought you'd go for." She laughed, putting the picture back.

"That's what everybody says." Nico tried to laugh, but he still couldn't quite breathe.

There was a beat of silence.

"Are you happy?"

"More than I've been since-" He'd been about to say since you died, but faltered.

"I'm glad."

Nico thought back to all of the days and months that he tried to contact her, tried to give Bianca one last message.

"I-I'm sorry." Nico choked out.

"You have nothing-"

"I should have been there. It should have been me." He cried.

"No." Bianca said firmly. "That was my fate. It was always going to happen that way."

There was another beat of silence. Somehow, Nico knew that Bianca understood everything he hadn't said.

"You look like death." Bianca laughed wetly, wiping a tear away. "You should rest."

"I have so much more to tell you!" Nico rasped, feeling the weight of sleep trying to pull him under.

"I know. I know." Bianca shushed, gently pushing him until he was laying flat.

"D-don't leave." Nico slurred.

"I can't stay, but I'll wait until you fall asleep."

"I love you." Nico murmured.

"I love you, too."

Nico could feel sleep pulling him in like quick sand. He didn't want to go. Not yet.

As he drifted to sleep, Bianca sat beside him and ran her hands through his hair, just like she'd done when he'd had nightmares as a kid. Then, there was nothing but the endless sea of weird dreams.

Then next time he woke up, Nico wasn't on the couch anymore. He wasn't even in his house. The too loud beeps of a heart monitor and the buzz of too bright fluorescent lighting told Nico that he was in a hospital. Wait, what?

Nico tried to sit up and get a better look, but his abdomen exploded in pain. It felt like he'd done several thousand crunches.

"Agh!" He yelped, still hoarse.

"Woah, Nico, take it easy. You're probably a little sore." Will shot up from his seat where he'd been dozing.

"A little? My stomach is trying to vacate my body!" Nico groaned, curling into himself. "Why am I here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Taking a nap on the couch." Nico tried to think back. "Bi-nevermind. Why am I sore? Also, why am I not at home?" He asked, almost bringing up his conversation with Bianca, but that somehow felt like a secret he couldn't share with Will.

"You somehow took triple the dose of all of the meds you needed. When I came home, you were delirious and kept calling me--nothing. You were delirious, I brought you to the hospital and the ED pumped your stomach and had you admitted for observation. You've been unconscious since around 1 o'clock yesterday." Will explained.

"What time is it now?"

Will tapped the screen on his phone. "Almost 4 o'clock."

"27 hours!"

"Some of the meds you took had already started to absorb into your stomach lining, namely the insane amount of Nyquil you took."

"I set an alarm. If I only took the meds when I needed them, how did I take too much?"

Will tried to look serious and worried about his boyfriend, but couldn't hide the laugh that escaped him.

"I'm sorry. It's really not funny." Will laughed. "You could have been seriously hurt, but this is something that could only happen to you."

"What are you talking about?" Nico asked, looking at Will like he'd gone insane.

"Where'd they put your phone?" Will looked around, still laughing. "Ah!" He exclaimed, pulling Nico's phone out of a clear bag with what looked like the pajamas he'd worn yesterday.

"Here. Look." Will opened Nico's phone and showed him the screen. It was still on the alarm setting.

"What am I supposed to be seeing?" Nico asked, not comprehending what was supposed to be so funny.

"You-" Will laughed, "you only set one alarm." He pointed to the alarm for 11 o'clock. "You just kept snoozing the same alarm and took your next dose of medicine whenever it went off."

Nico couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Oh my gods! This is so serious and not a thing we should laugh at, but the past 27 hours have been so stressful." Will wheezed.

"So you're saying that I took three rounds of meds in 30 minutes?" Nico laughed, his stomach muscles begging for mercy.

Will nodded, trying to get a hold of himself.

"On one hand, that's terrifying, on the other, that's hilarious."

The room fell into silence for a moment.

"Will?" Nico asked timidly.

"Yeah?" Will sat back down and scooted his chair closer to Nico's bed.

"W-was there anybody else in the house when you got there?" He already knew the answer.

"Like Bianca?" Will sighed.

"W-what?" Nico knew it was ridiculous to be hopeful, but maybe, just maybe it hadn't been a dream.

Will was quiet for a minute, giving Nico a sad look.

"I wasn't sure you'd remember."

"Remember what?"

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Will, just spit it out, please." Nico plead.

"When I got to the house, you were delirious. At first, you were just babbling and saying nonsense. Then, you started calling me Bianca and begging me not to go and..." Will trailed off.

"And what?"

"You kept apologizing. Saying it should have been you."

Just like that, the happy air  left the room and was replaced by a weighty silence.

"Maybe it should have." Nico shrugged, feeling the telltale pressure of impending tears behind his eyes, but begging himself not to cry.

"Nico, I know. Trust me, I know what it feels like to lose that person. To feel like you should have been able to stop it, but you weren't even there."

"I should have been there." Nico's voice wavered, tears starting to spill over.

"Look at me." Will demanded, using a harsh but soft voice that Nico rarely heard unless he'd done something to stupid to hurt himself.

Nico looked up, not wanting to meet Will's gaze.

Will pulled Nico's hand into his. "Even if you'd been there, she never would have let you sacrifice yourself like that. That was never who she was, and you know that."

"I know. It's just hard." Nico whispered.

"I know." Will sighed.

And Nico knew that Will really did know.

"Wait, I have one more question."

Will cocked an eyebrow.

"I thought your shift didn't end until 5. How did you find me at lunch?"

"I played hooky to come check on you because I had a bad feeling that you might have done something dumb, like take triple the dose of meds you needed." Will smirked.

"Hey, you can't be mean to me. I'm sick." Nico whined, smiling.

"Whatever, special guy." Will chuckled.

"Significant annoyance." Nico rolled his eyes.