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a baby bird just pulled me out of my car and drove away

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What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

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can i come over and do this

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There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

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a new type of Ball has been spotted on the ocean floor

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hi tunglr

i have a makeship petition live right now! please check it out, would ya?

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Kingpin

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NO im NOT mad that my powers haven't activated AT ALL yet *my telekinesis throws nothing across the room*

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because the ages in ace attorney are so fucked phoenix and mia’s entire relationship is literally just

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As queen my first order would be to execute anyone who isn’t cozyyy ^_^

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Why did "lmao" stick around but "rofl" die. Any theories on this

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Palafin -- akagi