#She makes me go Squeeee! because I like everything about her.

[kenmacel]

Every time I talk about Rui on tumblr I fear that my love for her seems to get increasingly gayer in the public eye but it’s not. I’m not even in denial or anything; I just think she’s the cutest, prettiest girl who is the most fun to coddle. You would refer to her as your lovely Rui and your personal angel too, if you saw her the way I did! My beautiful wife who has a tendency to torture me with knives. Who am I kidding…I’d be lucky if she gave me that much effort on a given day. She always surprises me with her affections.

[mxanigel]

Pride asks: 9 for Raven and 11 for Heather!!

Squeeee~ thank you for the ask! 💜

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

Raven: This question gave me lovely food for thought! For a while, Raven saw herself as a member of the Carta first and everything else came second, so her gender identity developed as I don't care just call me whatever. She identifies as female but really doesn't have strong thoughts about being female; that's just the physical body she happens to have. Her sense of self isn't affected by others' perception of her gender, though she does get annoyed by both race and gender assumptions/presumptions placed upon her by the Inquisition.

She developed a reputation in the Carta for being efficient, responsible, and focused in part because she was never "distracted" by relationships beyond camaraderie. (I headcanon that's why Raven was chosen to go to the Conclave.) She wasn't interested in sex but still tried it to figure out what the fuss was about, and it was fine but not something she craved (though she preferred women to men). An unexpected crush on Blackwall made her think more deeply about her identity, and her teasing remarks to Cassandra helped her realize she only wanted something physical with another woman. I'm still sorting out Raven's official romantic entanglements, but she's romancing Josephine in my (currently paused) playthrough!

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

Heather: Ohhh yes. Heather doesn't wave it in others' faces, but she doesn't hide her bisexuality and will discuss it when the topic comes up as long as such behavior won't cause diplomatic incidents. The strong bond she forged with her mother while growing up gave her a safe haven to talk about her evolving sense of self, which Eleanor listened to without passing judgment. Though Heather doesn't directly specify that Anora is the target of her feelings, Eleanor figures it out and quietly supports them from afar because that relationship makes Heather happy. (Aaaaand I am back in my Cousland family feeeeels~)

Original list of Pride OC asks! Send me one if you'd like more rambles about my queer OCs~

[thehagoftheironwood]

Squeeee!!!! OMGOMGOMG!

Or something.

Yeah… not really sure how I feel.

Unsolicited opinions and speculation:

I didn’t much like season one, with the exception of episode 5, and I liked the character Hunter-B15. Was happy to see her in the trailer. I hope they don’t do something stupid with her. I love her, she has the potential of being the baddest of good-guy badasses with a past.

I deal with the changes in the Loki character by just mentally separating him into different characters. So there’s Original Loki (my very fav), Ragnarok Loki (not to be confused with Laurits Loki, who is my second fav 🪱), and TVA Loki ( I could go on with comic book versions, Norse Mythology and other depictions, but I'm choosing not to, lol).

TVA Loki does not negate Original Loki for me, so it's all good. For me, anyway. I do understand the outrage and disappointment. I would have loved more Original Loki, too 😕.

Anyway… I also loved Kang, but the actor had to go and be a dickhead and spoil everything. He is in the trailer, I wonder if that’s because they included him in that mid-credit scene and just kept the one appearance, or if we will still be seeing him? Maybe it's another red herring in the trailer and he’s been completely cut? Dumbass, talented actor guy 😕.

Then Sylvie… She is not a favorite of mine, and I will not go off on a rant. The trailer didn’t show as much of her as I would have expected, though. But then, the season one trailer omitted a lot of stuff and threw in some red herrings as well. Who knows? Hoping she will go away. She won't, but I can hope, lol.

The Ke Huy Quan character worries me. There’s been so much hype. His voice in the trailer makes me cringe… hoping he doesn't slip into Jar Jar Binx territory. Hopefully, that's just a bad first impression, the idea of the character looks cool. I want it to work.

Tragic lack of green leather in the trailer 😭. Please be a hidden surprise! And the awful beige suit, which is the Middle Aged Car Salesman Loki costume, seems to have survived 😕. Make it go away.

Hair… <sigh> I get it, the actor is losing his hair and hates wearing wigs or extensions. I’m not going to be an asshole and whine about it. We’ll always have the movies.

So the Loki-Stan in me is squealing with delight, but the more rational part of me is apprehensive. It's not “my” Loki, but it's “a” Loki. How can more Loki be a bad thing?

Oh! And I hope there's another scene involving goats! I’m weird that way, it's a great party trick. Or maybe a Svadilfari character 😈. Trying to make the best of a hopeless situation 😂.

[whyiask]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR AOS SEASON 7

Okay okay okay, so I have been watching Agents of Shield season 7 with my family, and we just finished the final episode!!! In the whole show!!! This is insane!! Then I went back and watched Season 1 episode 1 as a throwback. Here are some of my thoughts.

-The first few episodes were a little bit slow, to be completely honest. I loved them a lot, but the season definitely built up momentum after the first two episodes or so.

-Okay, first of all. Let’s talk about some of the characters, shall we? Deke. I am actually really happy with Deke this season. He’s finally standing up for what he believes in and I’m really satisfied with his growth. When he’s not being a dick, he’s actually super nice and a very good friend. Especially in The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and The D. He was actually a really thoughtful and caring friend. There were other instances too, him sticking up for Jemma when Sousa questioned her abilities, etc. I know he as a character gets a lot of hate, and I’ll admit he’s not exactly the epitome of a good person, but as he says, he never gives up on his friends. I feel like he really grew a lot, and he’s actually very smart. He’s skilled in tech and he can do a lot of repairs and engineering stuff? I feel like a lot of people gloss over the fact that he actually has brains and when he is using them, he’s a real asset. When he was first introduced, he was not very useful and, quite frankly, very annoying. Over his time with the team, however, he has actually grown to be one of my favorite characters.

-Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. Where to start. She has grown so much over the course of the show. Her powers, abilities, and her as a person. Rewatching episode 1 really gave me a flash as to how she used to be. Impulsive, stubborn, independent. She’s so controlled and powerful now, she really knows herself and can be confident with who she is. She went all the way from just the girl living in a van to a super spy inhuman leader. I love her so much. Her final battle with Nathaniel- just gah. Perfection right there. The only way she was able to win was because she was willing to sacrifice everything for her family (found family, SQUEEEE). She was willing to die, and that gave her an edge over Nathaniel. It was really really heartfelt.

-Mack, the director of shield. He has had some good arcs and some good moments over the course of the show. I’ll have to say, however, I didn’t completely like his arc this season. That whole thing with his parents dying- it was just... I don’t know, a little bit bland next to some of the others.

-Elena had a good conflict- her whole thing with not being able to use her powers, that was some good stuff. Really cool, really neat. I thought the ‘childhood trauma’ part, with her uncle and stuff- I thought that was a little bit forced, especially since we haven’t heard of anything like that at all in all the time we’ve known her. She has grown a lot though. I didn’t really like her when she was first introduced, but she’s awesome now.

-May’s new powers were actually really interesting to explore this season. When we first learned she had emotion-sensing powers, I was worried that it would feel too forced- trying to give everyone powers and whatnot. But contrary to my initial doubts, it actually gave May a very impressive storyline and I was very invested in her. The story benefitted a lot from this new concept.

-Coulson just keeps coming back, doesn’t he. This man just doesn’t stay dead. It was a bit much to have him keep returning to the show, but he was actually a very valuable asset to the team this season. As an LMD, he had a lot of differences about him, but he was still the Coulson we know and love.

-Sousa was cool. He may not have been modern or known how modern tech works, but he has tactical brilliance and street smarts. He was a very good SHIELD agent before, and he is now. On the topic of him and Daisy, I spent the majority of the season not shipping them, actually. I didn’t want to ship them, because I was worried that if they got together, Sousa would die or turn evil or something to that degree.

-I wish we could’ve seen more of Fitz. He is absolutely one of my favorite characters, and I would’ve liked to see more of him in this season. That being said, they did an absolutely brilliant job of keeping Fitz on everyone’s minds and keeping him relevant and super important to the story, despite him not being on screen.

-I honestly loved Simmons in this season. It was so refreshing to see her like this. In control, but not. Strong, but weak. It had a nice blend, and I felt her emotions clear as day, and she just felt very very real. Human. Switching from one thing to the next in a heartbeat. I loved it.

-On the matter of fitzsimmons, they remain the most wholesome ship on that whole show. Mack and Elena are a power couple, but so are Fitz and Simmons. They have been through so much together, and they deserve each other. The universe keeps on trying to keep them apart, but they always find each other, through space and time, through danger after danger after danger. It honest-to-god broke my fragile little fitzsimmons heart when she couldn’t remember who he was, and even after she remembered, when she didn’t remember that she loved him. Actually, one of the most heartfelt, touching moments in the whole season was her remembering how much she loved him.

-Speaking of heartfelt moments, who else nearly cried when Daisy referred to Jemma as ‘her sister’? ✋

-Deke. (okay, we’re back to talking about deke.) When Deke stayed behind in the alternate timeline, he said some things. He basically said he was expendable, and that made me legit tear up. Even by the end of the show, nobody on the team was as close with Deke as they were with each other. I mean, that’s understandable, as he hadn’t been with them for a super long time, but I know if Jemma had been able to remember him at that point, she would’ve been a lot sadder. They all cared about Deke, they just didn’t really ever show it, because they didn’t care about him as much. I think Mack was the one most upset when they left Deke behind, and that’s because he got to witness first-hand how good of a friend Deke was. Deke must’ve been one of my favorite characters, and it broke my heart to see him make that sacrifice. He was kind of always the one that they all picked on, but I want to believe they all cared deeply about him- despite them not showing it.

-Another thing about Deke- (Joy, shut up about deke already)- is that he loved Daisy, didn’t he? I remember back when he was asking Coulson and Mack for advice on how to tell her he liked her. I guess it had kind of slipped my mind, and I totally forgot about it, until now. I though maybe he had gotten over his crush, but because of what he said to Daisy right before his sacrifice, it makes me think it was more than just a crush. In those final moments with her, she was with Sousa. They were looking at each other. Daisy then asked Deke if he was sure(or something to that degree) and Deke said something like, “as long as you’re happy.” EXCUSE ME, SIR. No one can ever convince me that look he gave her wasn’t a look of unrequited love. No one. But she never saw him that way, she always saw him as a friend, and maybe an annoying little brother. But still- that comment she made, when Jemma and Deke were stuck in space with Nathaniel, when she said, “let’s go rescue simmons.” Mack said, “and Deke” to which she responded, “sure.” That hits differently now. It feels like she never really cared about him the way he cared about her. I understand it was meant to be funny, and it was kind of funny, but it really just hit differently. Even if it was a joke, Daisy basically said that she thought of Simmons as her sister and Deke as an afterthought.

-It felt a little bit ridiculous for the final big conflict to end, essentially because of the Power of Friendship and Empathy. It felt a little bit cheap. I did, however, love how the end came together, with them looping back- and,,, ugh, it was very satisfying to watch everything fall exactly into place, what with them being the people in blue hazmat suits from the end of season six, and the chronicoms firing to try and hit them, not just aiming at the temple.

-The last line in the entire show was “cool”, but then again, it was Coulson saying it, so it checks out.

-THE ENDING OMG- the parallel was beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, between the end of season one episode one and the end of the finale of season 7. Coulson flying off in Lola. It was- it was perfect. The perfect last shot.

I’ll probably reblog later with more thoughts, these were just my initial thoughts that I wrote down right after the episode ended so that I wouldn’t forget them.

(Also, sorry for the rants about Deke. I could honestly rant on and on about this show for hours, I tried to keep it short. I do ramble quite a bit, but Deke is my latest character obsession, so I’ve been thinking about him a lot and doing a deep character analysis on him recently)

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 58: An Exam Cometh!

Presenting the next raw and unedited chapter of my on-going, next-gen, My Hero Academia fic, Their Hero Academia!

Earlier chapters can be found here

There was a somewhat somber mood in the classroom as 1-A settled in Tuesday morning.  The funeral yesterday had been the cap to a long week that stretched back to the Nomu attacks and had been a roller coaster for many of them ever since.  But things looked to Isamu like they were finally getting back to normal.  The class was back together again and even if they weren’t all up to their usual selves, they were getting there.  Even Shinso had been in a slightly cheerier mood last night, joining him and Midoriya for a few rounds of Smash Fighters 3000 in Midoriya’s room.

The room fell into a hushed silence as Aizawa entered.  They knew by this point not to screw around once he was there.  Well, most of them did.  He was pretty sure Mineta and Sero hadn’t gotten the same message as everybody else.  

Aizawa stood at his podium for a moment before speaking.  “Only three seconds to quiet down.  An improvement.”   His eyes swept the room and his face relaxed a fraction of a centimeter.  “I know your Internship experiences were harrowing, but I’ve also had the opportunity to review the feedback your mentors provided, and you all acquitted yourselves well, even in the face of some concerns over discipline.”   There was a glance reserved for Mineta and Sero again at that.

“However, that does not change the fact that your final exams will be in two weeks.  Your subject exams will be the Monday through Thursday of that week, with the practical Heroics exam on Friday.”

That wasn’t a surprise, really.  The dates for final exams had been in the syllabus on the first day of class.  But that seemed like both yesterday and a lifetime ago.  There was the phrase “time flies when you’re having fun”, but had the term really been fun? It seemed like much of it had been long moments of calm split by absolute and total panic.

Then again, in the time since that first day, he’d made friends, won the Sports Festival, interned with Deku, seen a monster, gotten a girlfriend…

Yeah, okay, there was some fun there.

Up in the front row, he saw Izumi raise her hand.  Once Aizwa gave her permission to speak, she asked, “Will you be telling us any details of the exam, Sensei?” she asked.

A good question, and Isamu sat up a little straighter in his seat to listen.  Regular final exams would be difficult enough—they weren’t kidding when they said U.A. was academically rigorous!—but he couldn’t imagine what the Heroics exam would be like.

And then something happened that sent a chill up Isamu’s spine.  Aizawa… smiled.  It wasn’t a normal person’s smile, but a rictus grin, and it looked deeply unsettling on his face.  It was the smile of someone about to deliver a devastating smackdown onto a foe and take utter delight in doing it.  A shrill scream split the air.  It was Sero.

“Dude,” Sato said, “what was that?”

“He’s smiling!” Sero wailed. “We’re doomed!  Dooooomed!”

“I’m too young to die!” Kaminari wailed.

“I’m too hot to die!” Mineta shrieked, joining in the wailing.

Even Midoriya, in the front row, seemed afraid.  “Oh no, oh no, oh no, not good!”

Isamu felt his own heartbeat quicken, but he took a look to the opposite end of the row to decide what was the most appropriate reaction.  Kirishima-Bakugo looked deadly serious, as opposed to her usual pissed off. And even she seemed slightly ill at ease at the prospects hidden behind that smile.

“Funny you should ask, Todoroki,” Aizawa said.  “You all did an impressive job working together during the Sports Festival.  I don’t know which one of you came up with it, but it was impressive tactical thinking.  And since you all like working together, the teachers decided to change up some of the conditions of the Heroics exam.”

There was a mad glint in their teacher’s eyes now.  “Either you all pass… or no one does.”

***

That night, Class 1-A gathered in the Common Room.  As usual, Isamu sat on one of the couches with Shinso, Izumi, and Sora Iida.   Midoriya and Tokoyami were at the front of their room, with a whiteboard.  One of the other couches was occupied by Sero, Sato, Ojiro, and Tensei Iida. A third couch was occupied by Aoyama, Koda, Shoji, with Aoyama looking rather small compared to his two classmates. Mineta and Kaminari had pulled up chairs, while Kirishima-Bakugo stood behind the couch Isamu and the others were on, together with the class, but apart as always.

Most of them were chatting away, while Midoriya and Tokoyami, the Class Representatives (Yeah, that was definitely not a job he wanted.) tried to get everyone’s attention, unsuccessfully.  “Hey!” Shinso shouted, putting just a little something into his voice to make it echo and pierce the noise.   “Toshi and Asuka are trying to talk!”

That got everyone to quiet down.

“Sorry Mom and Dad,” Sero said.   That got a laugh out of several people, until Kirishima-Bakugo moved to behind him and gave him a smack upside the head.

“Thank you, Shota,” Asuka said.   Frog-Shadow was out again, sitting on her shoulder.  “So we’ve got two things to discuss.  The first is the formation of study groups for the subject area final exams. Math, Science, Literature, History, Science, and English.”

“We’re hoping to have someone who’s doing well in each class lead some study sessions or make themselves available to answer questions,” Midoriya said.  

“We’re all going to die,” Ojiro wailed.

“Kimmie, it’s not that bad,” Sato tried to reassure her.

“This is just going to tank my grades, Kenta!”

“They couldn’t be any worse than mine, Kimmie,” Sero said, grinning.  

She punched him in the arm. “That’s not something to be proud of, Takuma!”

“Hey, leave him alone,” Kaminari said.  “He’s the only person who’s grades are worse than mine!”

“See,” Sero said, “when it comes to being the worse, I’m the best!”

Both of the Iida twins thrust their hands into the air.   “We volunteer for science and math!” Sora Iida said.  

Midoriya flushed a little at that.  “Ah, actually, Sora, I was thinking maybe not you?  Not that you aren’t smart!  But, ah, you’re both a lot smarter than most of us. I don’t know if you could dumb it down?”

The hands went down. “That is… acceptable,” Sora said.

“We would not wish to hinder anyone’s progress,” Tensei agreed.  “And we do have additional Support Class projects to complete.”

Reluctantly, Isamu put his hand up.  “I can probably handle science,” he said.  “It was mostly physics this term.  I’m good at that.”  He had to be, thanks to his Quirk.  Knowing how much force to apply and where it was going to send him flying and how much he needed to break at a certain speed was vital.

“Excellent, thank you,” Tokoyami said.  She handed her marker to Frog-Shadow, who looked at it curiously.   “If you’d write that down?”

“Why me?”

“Because you asked to be more involved,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, right!” Frog-Shadow bubbled, before flying off to write his name down.

Mineta stuck a hand in the air.  “I can take English,” she said.  “Vocab and translations, anyway.  Grammar’s still a little weird.”

“I guess that works,” Midoriya said, though he didn’t look like he believed it.  “Just… be on your best behavior, okay?”

“When am I not?”

“If that’s your best behavior, Horse-Girl, I’d hate to see you worst,” Kirishima-Bakugo growled.

“Allow me to provide what Mineta cannot,” Aoyama said.  He looked pretty smug about it.  Of course, everyone knew that he and Mineta didn’t get along. He was probably relishing an opportunity to show her up in something.  “I am reasonably trilingual, after all, n'est-ce pas?”

“And I can take History,” Izumi volunteered.

“Great!” Midoriya said. “Now we’re getting somewhere…”

***

Eventually, they came back around to the subject of the Heroics final exam.  Midoriya cleared his throat and looked a little red from embarrassment.   “So, this is probably my fault, guys.  The whole Sports Festival thing was my plan.  Sorry I got us into this mess….”

“Oh, bullshit,” Kirishima-Bakugo said, causing all eyes to fall on her and Isamu to jump.  “Maybe you threw some gas on the fire, Toshi, but you have to know Aizawa was planning something like this.  Him and his “logical ruses.’”   She crossed her arms and nodded, as if that explained everything.

“She does have a point, Toshi,” Izumi said.

“She does?” Midoriya asked, surprised.  Then he looked over at Kirishima-Bakugo, who was glaring at him.  “She does!”

“You couldn’t have known,” Isamu said.  “And it was a good plan.  I don’t know if I’d have won if you hadn’t gotten us that far.” If he’d had to race and fight at the same time, without Mineta watching his back (making innuendos the whole way), he doubted he would have done half as well.  

But it wasn’t surprising that Midoriya thought it was his fault.  The guy always seemed to fall into a pattern of trying to take care of all of them, which meant he was just as likely to try and shoulder all the blame.

“None of us blame you, Toshi,” Tokoyami insisted.  

“Besides,” Isamu offered, “I talked to Kana over in 1-B…”

He was interrupted by Ojiro. “Did you hear that?  He’s using her first name now!  Squeeee!  They’re getting closer!”

Okay, he was going to pretend he didn’t hear that.  He really didn’t need to end up the topic of conversation on her web show.  “As I was saying, I was talking to Kana and she says Super-Ball told 1-B the same thing.  Only not as scary as Aizawa was.  They’re pass or fail as a group too.  She said Super-Ball said it was about building up their teamwork skills.”

“My friend, Mizuno, from 1-C said much the same thing,” Koda said.  “Battle-Fist also emphasized the need for better teamwork.”

“Looks like you sparked a revolution, Midoriya,” Sero said, only to be silenced by a smack from Ojiro.

“Okay,” Midoriya said, nodding, taking a couple breaths to steady himself.  “So sounds like it was something they were going to do anyway. Not my fault.  Good.  Then if the Heroics exam is going to be a pass/fail for everyone, we’re going to need a plan.”

“How are we going to do that?” Shoji asked.  “We don’t know what form the exam will take.”

Midoriya nodded again, now in his element when a plan was required.  “We don’t,” he agreed.  “But we do know, whatever it is, it’s going to require us to work together and it’s going to be bigger than anything we’ve had tossed at us before now.  That’s the only reasonable extrapolation of the pass/fail condition.”

“So that means,” he went on, “we need to train like we’ve never trained before.  Until anybody here can work with anybody else.

“Right now,” Toshi finished, “it doesn’t matter who your best friend is.”   He looked over at Sero, Ojiro, and Sato.   “It doesn’t matter who you don’t get along with.” This look was given to Aoyama and Mineta.  “Or how mad everyone might make you.”  A look went out to Kirishima-Bakugo.

“Right now, we’re all in this together.  We’re Class 1-A and we need to come together.”

Shinso let out a cheer and a clap.   Even Isamu had to admit, he felt pretty inspired.

“Fancy speech, Toshi,” Kirishima-Bakugo said.  “But you got a real plan to back it up?”

Midoriya looked a bit deflated at that.  “Not entirely,” he admitted.  “But Asuka and I were going to discuss some likely scenarios.  If you want to help, you’re more than welcome.”

“Damn straight, I will. I’m not letting any of you pull me down with you.  We’re gonna pass even if I have to kick your asses every inch of the way.”

Midoriya’s confidence returned.  Even Isamu knew this was just her way.  “Well, you heard her, people.  We’re going to pass!”

Somehow, this became a rallying cry.

“We’re going to pass!   PLUS UTLRA!”

***

Izumi’s room always reminded Chihiro of the fact that while she was extremely well off, Izumi’s family was so rich it practically made the word useless.  There was a four poster bed, an ornate oak desk, wood paneling added to all the walls… even the desk lamp looked like it cost way more than things like that should.  “Don’t touch anything,” she warned Mika.

Mika shot her a dirty look. “I’m not a child, Chi.”

“You’re not always graceful, Mika.  Like a bull in a china shop.”

“That’s hurtful.  And possibly racist”

Chihiro facepalmed at that.   “I’d like to apologize for her in advance,” she said.

“Please, do not worry about it,” Izumi said, standing as they entered.  “May I offer you tea and sweets?”   She indicated the tea tray and plate she had already laid out.

After she and Mika had accepted Izumi’s offering, all three took seats.   “So what’s up?” Chihiro asked.   Izumi asking to talk to her was one thing; they were good friends.  But other than when she was around, Mika and Izumi didn’t usually have too much to do with one another.

“I need your help,”

Okay, add that to the list of things she never thought she’d hear.  “I’m guessing not with homework or anything?” Chihiro said.   “Because that’s definitely not me.”   Izumi was way towards the front of the class anyway.   So was Mika, for that matter.   She belatedly realized she was the dumbest person in the room.   On the other hand, she might still win the medal for most common sense.

“Not homework,” Izumi assured her.  “The matter is more personal.”

“Is this about a guy? Or a girl?” Mika asked.  “Because I was ninety-nine percent sure you didn’t go for that.”

Startled at her friend’s abruptness, Chihiro smacked her upside the head with one of her Cords.  “Don’t be crude.”

Izumi, fortunately, took it all in stride.  “You are correct that I do not “go for that.’”

Huh.   Chihiro had always known that Izumi hadn’t displayed much interest in anyone, but given that her other best friend was interested in everyone, she’d figured it was just less interest, not none.  How had she been that clueless?

“So what do you need?” Chihiro asked.  

Izumi closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath.  When she opened them, she looked as serious as Chihiro had ever seen her.  “I need to find my grandfather.”

“What happened?” Mika asked. “Was there a big tax scandal?  Is Grandpa Yaoyorozu hiding out from the feds in the tropics?”

“No,” Izumi said.  “Not him.  My grandfather on my father’s side.”

“Endeavor?” Chihiro asked. “Why?”   A thought occurred to her, something that had come up during her Internship with Aunt Momo. “Wait, does this have anything to do with Plague?”

Next to her, Mika had pulled out her phone, but right now, her friend’s rudeness wasn’t her biggest concern.

Izumi’s eyes went wide. “How do you know that name?”

“Daddy called Aunt Momo. Said you’d found out about somebody with that name.”

Izumi took another moment to collect her thoughts.  "What I am about to tell you cannot leave this room."

"Izumi, you're scaring me."  Her friend was never this intense.  Whatever it was, this all had to be deadly serious.

Izumi locked eyes with her. "Promise me, Chihiro."

Chihiro was worried now, but kept eye contact. "Okay. I promise."

"Do you remember when I was sick?"

That did very little to narrow it down.  Izumi had had plenty of health issues over the years.  Chihiro had visited her in the hospital countless times.  "You're going to need to specify, Izumi. You've been sick a lot."

"The time I was very sick.  The time that really started it all."

Oh yeah.  That one.  Chihiro looked at the floor.  "I remember."

Izumi sighed.  "During my internship, Uncle Denki let it slip that there was possibly something more... complicated behind it."

Daddy was in on whatever this was?  "Complicated? How?"

"Complicated, as it was the implied that it was a villain, this “Plague,” who got me sick."

“Okay,” Chihiro said, her head spinning as she tried to make sense of it.  Nervously, she tapped the ends of her Cords together.  “Okay, did you talk to your parents about this?”

Izumi shook her head. "I did not. After the Nomu attacks, Mother and Father...they wanted to pull me from the school.  I exhausted myself.  Again."

Of course they did. She knew it was ongoing drama with Izumi and her parents.

Before she could speak, Izumi held up her hand. "I managed to talk them down. For now. Part of me suspects that at the next big incident, the next time I falter, they'll try again. That's why I didn't ask them. I couldn't. I didn't want to bring up the pain they went through again."

Izumi pointed to a plush rabbit on her bed, one which looked fairly new.  “I am certain he visited me in the hospital.  Things are… becoming complicated.”

Izumi inhaled deeply before continuing. "I've been thinking a lot since then. I've been remembering things. Things I thought I forgot. I want to find out what happened to me, but I can't go to my parents. I can't go to anyone, not your father, not Uncle Deku, no one, because they'll go to my parents. I know I can count on you to keep my secrets, both of you.

“I cannot burden Katsumi with this.  She has enough to carry right now without carrying me as well.  You don't have to help if you don't want to get in trouble-"

“Found him,” Mika said, looking up from her phone.

“…How the hell did you do that?” Chihiro asked.  It could not possibly have been that easy.

“Daddy never changes his login ID or password for anything,” Mika said.  “I just used one of the databases available to Heroes to look up an address.  It’s not even that far.”

Chihiro just stared.  “Every time I think I’ve got you figured out…”

Izumi looked equally startled, worried, and pleased.  “Thank you, Mineta,” she said, quietly.

Mika shrugged.  “Hey, what’re friends for?”

***

Normally, Toshi did his morning jog with Katsumi, sometimes joined by Kana Tetsutetsu.  He’d also occasionally convinced Haimawari to join them, though that was fairly rare.  But this morning, he was alone.   Katsumi had begged off for wanting to focus on weight training instead and Tetsutetsu was apparently busy with some emergency in her dorm, according to her text.

Which was fine.  He could be alone with his thoughts.   Like the thought that he didn’t have idea one what they were getting into with the exam and it would definitely be his fault if they all failed, bringing shame upon the Midoriya name and leading to Sora dumping him and Katsumi killing him.

Well.  That had escalated quickly.

“Mi… Midoriya!” The sound of his name drew him out of his panic.  It came with labored breathing and he came to a stop, turning and seeing Shiro Monoma, dressed in workout clothes, running up behind him.  Monoma’s not out of shape, but it’s a wiry build, more suited to agility and gymnastics, than Toshi’s more muscular one.  

“What’s up, Monoma?” he asked.  Monoma hadn’t done anything antagonistic yet, which was a good sign.  In fact, Toshi couldn’t remember seeing him at all during the past week, or even hearing him, which was even stranger.  He didn’t have the same extreme dislike for the other boy that Katsumi did, but he would hardly say they were on friendly terms, even though they were neighbors.  Honestly, he mostly did his best to ignore Monoma’s jabs at the class.

“I need to talk to you about the exam,” Monoma said.  

“I don’t know what they’re going to do any more than you do,” Toshi told him.  “I can make a few educated guesses though, based on our Heroics classes and all though.  Happy to talk, if you want.”

He stole a glance at his watch.  “Can we run though?  I want to get this in before classes and my heart rate’s already dropping.”

Monoma looked rather pained by the prospect, but nodded.  “Okay.”

Since he wasn’t completely unfeeling, Toshi did tone his run down to something slightly less than his usual, letting Monoma keep up.  “So like I said, I don’t really know, but I can guess.  Got to be something large scale, if they’re going to be able to score all of us on it.  And that means something with a lot of different moving parts.  Probably Villains to fight, people to rescue, maybe something to find like a bomb…”

Monoma was, to his credit, keeping up with Toshi, though he looked like he was pushing himself a bit to do it.  “That’s… good thinking…,” he said, between breaths.  “But not what I wanted to ask about.”

“Then what?” Toshi asked.

“I need to know,” Monoma said, with such seriousness that it took Toshi aback for a moment.  “how you got… everyone to work… together.”  

Toshi took pity on him and slowed down a little more.  “Everyone. Teamwork from the get go.  How do you get them to follow you like that?  How did you get all those different personalities to work together like that?”

Shiro’s voice turned bitter. “I try and I try to make everyone better.  I want them to succeed, I really do.  But no one listens to me.  I can’t… Hardly any of my class made it through the final round.  And I got lucky as it was.  I’m worried about them and the final exam.”

“Them?” Toshi asked. His phrasing there was odd. “Them,” he’d said.  Not “us”.

Monoma frowned.  “I had hoped to keep this a secret.  Almost no one knows about this.  But I’m leaving once this term is over.   I’m not cut out for this.   But with how the exam is going to work…  I can’t cost them their futures just because mine’s going to be something else.”

Toshi couldn’t keep the surprise off his face, but fortunately, Monoma wasn’t looking at him to see it. “You’re…” he began.  He actually came to a stop.  Running was a good way to lose himself, and he needed all his wits now.

“I am,” Monoma said, finishing the thought for him.  He bent half off, breathing hard.  He righted himself after a few breaths.  “Don’t try to talk me out of it.”

Now Toshi frowned, but he nodded.  “Not my place to do that.  But I think it’s a mistake.”

Monoma shook his head. “It’s not.  But what about my class?  And what about the exam?”  There was a moment of silence, and then, “Please.  I can’t let failure be my entire legacy here.”

If he lived long enough to become the new Number One Hero, Toshi never would have thought he’d have heard Monoma talk like this.  Usually, the blond boy was full of bravado and confidence, always trying to prove his class’s superiority over 1-A.   And to be fair, 1-A contained the children of a large number of highly ranked Heroes, something that few of Class 1-B could claim.  None of their parents were low ranked, but there was a certain degree of disparity there.  And a much larger portion of Class 1-B had no Hero parents at all.

“Okay, the first thing you have to remember,” Toshi told him, “is that we’re almost all childhood friends.  Some of us more than others and in some different combinations… but we grew up together.  Our parents are close and they passed that onto us.  Trust’s easy that way.”

Given that his parent’s Class A had gone through hell together over three years in a way that their contemporary Class B hadn’t, it was easy to see where stronger bonds might have been forged.  

Monoma nodded.  “My father’s class drifted more during the years. Kana is the only one I was anything close to growing up, along with Mika and Akaya.”

“The other big thing is… Look.  My dad’s the Number One Hero.  I wanted to do the best I could, but the Sports Festival was never about winning for me.”   And sure, he’d managed to share third place with Kocho.  He was proud of his accomplishments, and he’d gone in intending to give it his all, but it hadn’t been his main goal.  Toshi would have been just as happy not to have placed, if it meant other of his friends did.

“So I went in it from the start doing it for them.  And they knew that, so they went along with it.  It wasn’t even about beating your class or anybody else in the race; I just wanted to make sure everybody had the best chance they could.  Somebody like Ojiro or Sato would have had a real hard time doing that in the obstacle course.  So I asked everybody to take a step back now so that they could all have something later.”

It hadn’t quite been as easy as he made it sound.  Convincing Aoyama had been one of the most difficult parts, but the promise of future glories had eventually been enough.

Monoma looked as though he’d been punched.   “…Shit.” His expression devolved further, becoming truly miserable.  “During the Sports Festival, I was so concerned with… things turning out a certain way, I pushed for flare and making a splash.  And not all of them even made it past the Obstacle Course.  Maybe I really do drag them down.  Maybe she was right.”

Toshi frowned.  This was turning pretty dark on him.  And he wasn’t sure who “she” was.  “Look,” he said.  “You want what’s best for them.  That’s admirable.  But if you go so hard on trying to show somebody up, then that’s all you’re going to see.  That’s what Endeavor did for a long time, and you know what happened to him.”

Monoma sighed, then nodded. “Then I am more certain than ever I’ve made the right choice.  But at least I know what I can do for them to help everyone else pass.  Thank you, Midoriya.”

As Monoma left, Toshi wasn’t certain at all that he’d said the right things there.  It certainly didn’t seem like a victory.

***

In the teacher’s lounge, Aizawa looked over the finalized draft of the Heroics practical exam. Talking All Might into it had been difficult, but worth it.  He’d staked his job and reputation on it, but he believed the results would be worth it.

His students, all the students, were talented.  But even with recent events, what they needed was a stark dose of reality to push them further along their paths.

He looked at the profiles spread out in front of him.  The people he’d found would be just the ones to do it.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: PMMM Rebellion - Part 8

Last time on Rebellion: YES

The truth came to light, each of the Magical Girls got their moments to shine, Madoka once again found the Third Way (Let Homura kill herself to set them free/Kill Homura to free the others/Screw that, shoot out the ceiling and hug it out with the bae), and the Incubators got fucked up. Hot damn but that was satisfying.

We pick up after Madoka’s Arrow Rain, the surrounding area utterly devastated with not a single Bunny-Cat to be seen. Homura’s still out cold, lying on some sort of slab while holding her bow (I think? I know her post-Madokami weapon is a bow, but might be a staff of some sort). A Soul Gem enters? Mami places it on Homura’s sleeping form, it looks rather beat up from the Incubator’s experiment. Also, blue? I thought Homura’s color was purple.

Flutes pick up as more Redeemed Familiars gently set down the Muggles who were trapped in the Labyrinth (hey, I recognize these ones, they were in the Suicide Cult Labyrinth and appeared to tear apart Madoka. Brrr.). Some students, the Teacher, and Madoka’s family! Hey guys!

Meanwhile, Kyoko’s Batgirling on some rubble, looking out over the desert. Yeah, she did just get to hold hands with Sayaka (*squeeee!*), but now the Paladin’s job is over, isn’t it? Back to Magical Girl heaven. Same with Bebe/Nagisa/whatever her name is.

[Mami]: “No. They’re finally taking her away with them.”

What. What. Is you serious? Yes yes yes yes YES!

Loophole abuse! -Madokami leaves Magical Girls on Earth to fight Wraiths, takes away those who are about to become Witches -Homura Witchified inside her Soul Gem, remained an almost-Witch in the real world -Requirement for Magical Girl Heaven met!

[Madokami]: “Now I remember. I came here for Homura.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! We’ve got some Last Battle of Narnia feels going on here! Further up and further in…

Nagisa and Sayaka are here too, driving one of Walpurgisnacht’s carts. Nothing but the finest chauffeur services for Homura.

Homura wakes up to see the Welcome Wagon, her friends standing by, and then Madokami in all her glory.

[Madokami]: “I’m sorry for making you wait so long. You’ve worked so hard all this time.”

[Homura]: “Madoka…”

Finally. Finally. The feels, you guys. The feels!

[Madokami]: “Now, let’s go. We’ll always be together from now on.”

Wait. What’s with the head turn. Why shadows

[Homura]: “Yes. We will.”

Homura what

[Homura]: “I’ve waited so long for this moment.”

Whats with the closeups why the deep tone and shadows why smirk what

HOMURA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHY ARE YOU GRABBING MADOKAMI’S WRISTS

[Madokami]: “H-Homura.”

RED ALERT RED ALERT MADOKAMI IS SHOCKED MADOKAMI IS ALARMED

[Homura]: “I’ve finally…”

Homura’s Soul Gem just turned pitch black what no why despair now what

[Homura]: “caught you.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Yeah, I’m with you girls, what’s going on? Technicolor lights are spilling from the Soul Gem, music is picking up. Crap crap crap.

Her Soul Gem has changed color? “Worse than a curse?” So this technicolor stuff is worse than Black Despair? What is it then? Desire? Obsession?

Oh hell.

[Homura]: “It’s only natural that you don’t understand. Yes… no one in the world could possibly understand. This emotion is mine alone.”

Oh my Madokami, would you stop being emo for five seconds.

[Homura]: “It is for Madoka alone.”

Um, Homura’s Soul Gem is beginning to crack. And so is the surrounding area?

Hell, are they still in the Labyrinth?

Madokami is pleading with Homura (freaking pleading, what is this), saying that she’ll be ripped apart-

Ripped apart. Oh no. I see it now.

Ranubis said:[Madoka]: “You know how wimpy I am. And because I could never bear to do something that would make someone as strong as you cry like this.” Homura is saying that she understands, that she made a stupid mistake? [Homura]: “I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen. That no matter what I would’ve had to do, I should have stopped you back then.”

This was planned. This is Homura’s savior complex. She devoted herself to saving Madoka. In the end, Madoka saved her. But she intends to “save” Madoka. From herself.

Madokami DAMN it Homura!

The cracks have now struck Madokami, splitting into images of her human and Ascended forms.

[Homura]: “I told you, Madoka. I’ll never let you go again.”

Homura clutches Madoka as her Soul Gem shatters, this weird blotchy technicolor spreading out to cover all the Magical Girls. Then the Cracks and Colors continue to spread, covering the desert. Then the planet. Then onwards and outwards through space, covering the galaxy (that’s not the Milky Way? Or just a bad angle?). Finishing as a circle, a sigil of some sort.

A spool of pink thread falls.

Homura stands against a red-and-yellow background, Mysterious Transfer Student-ing it up. Then she… spits out her Soul Gem? I thought it nope guess it breaks here as she bites down on it. The pink thread reforms as some mix of a black chess piece and a purple crystal ball. Homura grabs it-

Ah. Incubator. Kinda telling that things have gotten so fucked up that that’s all the reaction I can muster for Bunny-Cat.

[Incubator]: “The world is being rewritten. Does this mean a new principle has been born into this universe?”

Now Homura’s got the “Voice from Everywhere” thing going on. She’s telling the Incubator(s) floating around that this is the second time she’s been here.

[Incubator]: “I don’t believe this. Your curse-blackened Soul Gem should have vanished along with your soul. So why…?” [Homura]: “Because I finally remembered. All the times I repeated history, got hurt and suffered over and over, all of that was proof of my feelings for Madoka. So now, even pain is dear to me. It’s no longer curses that soil my Soul Gem.” [Incubator]: “Then what does?” [Homura]: “Something that you have no chance of understanding, Incubator. It is the pinnacle of all human emotion. More passionate than hope, far deeper than despair.”

Homura what are you doing with the Chess-Orb? Eating it. Apparently.

Ah. It seems that Homura has pulled a Madoka, found a Third Way. -Hope, for Magical Girls. -Despair, for Witches. -”Love”, for whatever she is now.

Now Homura’s dressing up oh ok wow that is a thing.

[Demon!Homura]: “Indeed… As I am now, I’m not even a witch anymore. She was as sacred as a god, and I pulled her from heaven and undermined her. A being that could perform such feats could only be called a demon, I suppose?"

Seeing how Homura’s acting, the Incubator swears off human emotion. Bit late for that, dude. Demon!Homura grabs it, tells it that they’re sticking around to handle all the curses of the world now.

We get flashes of galaxies as I struggle to comprehend everything that’s happened. Then, back to earth.

Homura (in a much more sensible outfit) is sitting at a table. Ignored by the passing students? Mami’s walking by, there’s a brief shot of a Familiar moving behind a falling rose petal. Mami raises a hand, then Homura knocks a cup to the ground. Mami turns at the sound, but there’s no-one there. She looks into her hand, and sees a black feather. Does she remember- GAH GOTH KIDS JUST CROSSED SCREEN

Now some of Homura’s bird Familiars, they’re eating at an apple held by- wait, Kyoko? Food girl is willingly feeding wild animals. What is wrong with this topsy-turvy world Homura’s made?! Then she apparently sees more of the Goth Kids, throws an apple but Homura shakes her head and it falls into the stream instead. Kyoko looks startled by this.

Now it’s Sayaka’s turn. But she sees Homura?

[Sayaka]: “Do you realize what you’ve done?” [Homura]: *Turns, earring glints* “I see. Looks like you understand what’s happened, Sayaka Miki.” [Sayaka]: “You’ve broken off a part of the Law of the Cycle! The power of salvation that was the hope of all the magical girls!” [Homura]: “All I took was a tiny piece of it. Just the records of the person that Madoka was before she ceased to exist. Somehow, all of you wound up being pulled in as well, and it seems you can’t return to wherever you were before.”

Uh, yeah? Because I’m pretty sure you overwrote the last galaxy.

Sayaka’s pissed, asking what right Homura had to do all this. Homura… straight up says her alignment is now Evil, that’s she’s the Antagonist of the world.

Uh, scene of a bunch of Goth kids surrounded by shoes, jumping off… yeah, I know enough about Japanese culture to know what that is.

Homura’s all “only natural I upset the laws set down by a god.” Madoka- or now Devilura damn it, this really was Homura rebelling against Madoka, wasn’t it.

Sayaka asks if Homura intends to destroy the universe, not even moving as she summons Octavia behind her. Alright, still got your powers I see. Not sure how effective they’ll be against this new Homura, but…

Homura does a hair-flip, says that maybe she will once all the Wraiths have been destroyed. Uh, what?

[Homura]: “When that time comes, I suppose I can be your enemy. But do you think you’ll be able to stand against me, Sayaka Miki?”

All these shots of Homura have been of half-closed eyes, and looking at her now I can only describe her as tired. Still, far from weak. She claps her hands, and Octavia instantly disappears as Sayaka slumps.

[Homura]: “Even now, your memories are gradually changing, are they not?”

Shot of Nagisa running through falling black feathers, laughing. Sayaka grits her teeth, says that she “thinks” she was part of a larger being before.

[Homura]: “Why don’t you simply enjoy the happiness from getting another chance to live a human life?”

So wait, in your new world they aren’t Magical Girls then? What, you’re just setting the Incubators on the Wraiths?

Even as Homura calmly tells her that all this will seem natural someday, Sayaka insists that she will always remember that Homura is a demon. Homura just smiles, and says that they should pretend to be friends in daily life. After all, don’t want to upset Madoka, do they?

Goth Kids are running around, throwing tomatoes at Homura. Yes good there’s a part of you that knows this is wrong, listen to it!

And with that we’re back to Sayaka in the “real world”, watching students and Nagisa go by. A “good morning” from Hitomi and Kyosuke. And she cries? But not from sadness, but from happiness that she can see them again.

Wait, flash of her Magical Girl ring? So she still has her powers?

In class, Teacher is ranting about boyfriends fussing over breakfast as Homura looks out the window. But Teach says there’s a new Transfer Student? But Homura’s already here-

[Teacher]: “Come on in, Miss Kaname!”

Ah. That got Homura’s attention. Madoka enters, says that Mother got assigned overseas so the family’s been living in America for three years.

Later, the girls in class are asking Madoka about her American life. Madoka’s a bit sheepish but not as shy as I expecte-

[Homura]: “Everyone, you’ll tire Miss Kaname out, bombarding her with questions like that.”

The girls scatter, and Homura “introduces” herself to Madoka. And “offers” to show her around the school. Ah, reversal of the Hallway Scene then. Obviously Madoka’s a little confused at why this strange girl is pushing for first names already and leading her around.

[Madoka]: “No, it actually seems like absolutely nothing has changed. In fact, if I had to pick the one thing that had changed, I’d say it was me.”

Homura comes to a stop in the Hallway. And seems very upset at Madoka’s comment.

Madoka goes on, saying she should have a different form, a different role. Sudden swirls of light around Madoka, is she fighting it off?! Come on, you can do it!

But no. Homura grabs her.

[Homura]: “It’s all right. You are exactly what you truly are.”

We’re back in the Hallway.

[Homura]: “Madoka Kaname. Do you treasure this world? Do you consider stability and order more important than desire?” [Madoka]: “Well, I…Um...I-I do treasure it. I guess I do think it’s kind of bad to break rules because you feel like it.” [Homura]: “I see. Then I suppose someday, you will become my enemy as well.”

Homura removes her ribbon- ah. That’s the ribbon that Madoka gave her before. Now she’s giving it back.

[Homura]: “But I don’t care. Because even then, I will continue to wish for a world in which you will be happy.”

Yeah, absent of context I’m sure that Madoka is utterly confused and kinda concerned right now.

The sun sets of Mitakihara City. Sayaka steals pocky from Kyoko in the courtyard. Mami races forward to save Nagisa from falling boxes of cheese. In House Kaname, Madoka moves boxes with her family. And in the sky overhead, a stone turns.

Credits.

Post-credits. Night, the hill where I originally thought Homura was being brainwashed by Madoka (HAH). Homura sits on a chair, on half of a hill. Same with the moon, perfect semi-circle. Grass rustles, Homura turns to see the silhouette of the Incubator. Homura summons her Chess-Orb, and then dances to the music past WHAT that’s the beat-up form of the Incubator. Then she falls off the hill. Closeup of the Incubator, with matted fur andshaking eyes.

“The End.” … … … FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[aminellelia-blog]

Fifty Shades of Grey Parody

This is my very first Tumblr post. I originally wrote this parody last year and posted it on Fanfiction.net, but now I decided to share it here too. If you like Fifty Shades of Grey I recommend you don’t read this story. It’s making fun of it to the fullest extent, because I really don’t like it.

All characters that aren’t part of the original story are covered in bold.

Enjoy!

We pan over Seattle. Bella-err, Anastasia Steele (not sure if it's supposed to be a subtle take on a sex toy) is a cute, clumsy, virginal, college student living there, trying to embody as many of the average female viewers as possible. Spoiler alert: she's less relatable than Bella Swan, which is ironic considering where her flatness originated from.

ANASTASIA'S BOTTOM LIP: OH. EM. GEE. I'm going to be a star!

KATE: Bella, I'm sick, so you'll have to interview that super, hot, sexy, although-kind-of-rapey-but-excused-because-he's-hot guy I was going to interview.

ANASTASIA: I've seen enough porn to know where this is going. YES! I've always wanted to say that line where it made sense.

KATE: Don't push it, girl. You're just interviewing him.

ANASTASIA: And I'm getting a piece of that.

AUDIENCE: Have all innocent-minded asexuals in the world miraculously moved to Mars?

Anastasia finds the bigass building owned by Edward Christian Cullen Grey. Huh, last time I watched *Secretary* he just owned a small office. Blown-up barbie human dolls meet her and is led to the predator's office. Ana, run. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN, ya dense cow. To be cute, she stumbled over the flat threshold, which I have no idea how you possibly can.

CHRISTIAN: That's so adorable. Wanna have sex?

ANASTASIA: Sex is a tea flavor, right?

CHRISTIAN: Hominah. My name is Christian Grey. While you're on your knees anyway, suck my cock, hoe.

ANASTASIA: What an interesting euphemism for interview. My name is Anastasia St-pff! My friend is sick with the flu and asked me to come here being your next victim in her place. Though, I don't know how a man with toddler eyes could be dangerous.

CHRISTIAN: A slut's mouth shouldn't be moving more than necessary, so get on with your 10-minute interview.

ANASTASIA: Aight. Here's a question every sane viewer asks: How come you are so much richer at a younger age than Mark Zuckerberg was despite not doing shit?

CHRISTIAN: OMG, you stupid, f*cking bitch. How dare you ask me a good question. I can't believe your insolence. Kill yourself.

ANASTASIA: Well?

CHRISTIAN: It's not very relevant, is it? What is relevant is my filthy rich viper up your low-class clam shell.

ANASTASIA: Vipers and clam shells?

CHRISTIAN: Trust me, when it comes to the themes in this film, those are really the best metaphors.

ANASTASIA: Yeah, then...what is your interest outside of work?

CHRISTIAN: Didn't I already answer that? Enough with your audacity. Give me an actual question, if your inferior-to-men mind can afford that, you filthy lowlife.

ANASTASIA: Are you gay? Ain't I cute, reading and spitting out whatever before thinking.

CHRISTIAN: Another good question. What the hell is wrong with you?

ANASTASIA: Morton's Fork is at play, I see.

CHRISTIAN: If you must know, no.

ANASTASIA: Are you a self-serving asshole?

CHRISTIAN: Finally something relevant. Yes, I am. Now, do you have a question you want to ask me instead of your friend's?

ANASTASIA: You've spent this time insulting me and then you ask for my viewpoint. Heh. Okay.

CHRISTIAN: Shut it, hole-to-please-men. I just want to pry and see if you're up for sitting upon this lance or not. Let me give you subtle suggestiveness about it.

ANASTASIA: … You said you're an asshole. Why do I get the feeling that's not true?

AUDIENCE: Because you're numb in the upper story?

A secretary comes in and interrupts the so-called interview. More like a director-to-actor conversation.

SECRETARY: Mr. Grey, you have a meeti-

CHRISTIAN: Are you serious? We only talked for four minutes!

SECRETARY: OH! Yeah. Sorry. My bad. *Leaves*

CHRISTIAN eyes ANASTASIA with a creepy intensity that would rival Hugh Hefner's erection.

CHRISTIAN: I can't be standin' my stupid bitches. At least you seem bland, and that be good enough for me. How about finishin' your finals, then you becomin' my bottom bitch?

ANASTASIA: Throwing away my promising potential future career for becoming a mindless sex slave to a guy who can't stop staring down my vag? I'll think about it. It'll most likely be yes. Who am I kidding, it's yes. Otherwise there would be no plot to speak of.

AUDIENCE: In this case, it would be a good thing.

CHRISTIAN does the rarest thing next to platinum, being an actual gentleman walking ANASTASIA to the elevator. When she walks in, he steals the sheet with questions from her papers without her noticing.

CHRISTIAN: Joinkity-joink!

ANASTASIA walks out, where it conveniently rains. That sex joke was old 20 years ago.

ANASTASIA: Holy Hindu's Cow, that insulting business man made me cream myself, oh so help me. I'm gonna domesticate dat ass.

ANASTASTIA'S VAGINA: Finally, I get to see the light of day!

ANASTASIA'S BOTTOM LIP: LET'S WORK TOGETHER TO TAME HIM!

ANASTASIA'S VAGINA: YAY!

ANASTASIA'S BRAIN: Can I join the party, too?

ANASTASIA'S CLIT: Shove it, punk.

ANA goes home to her and KATE's dorm. KATE is sitting writing their report-thingamajig upon her arrival.

KATE: So how was he?

ANA: Polite, clean, courteous… oh, who am I kidding, he was a douchebag.

KATE: EEEEEE I SHIP IT SO HARD! … did you f*ck?

ANA: Heck, no! I think it will take time getting his misogyny to consent to that. By the way, that "gay" question, total dick move.

KATE: We as a society have to know everything, we can't leave it alone, we have to know every single detail.

ANA: Stop sounding like the 4chan community.

KATE steals ANA'S sandwich she was making.

ANA: You motherf*ck-, you just don't steal sandwiches! You just don't, EVER! Never mind, I will try to get one with the toppings of Grey's mojo… wait did I say that out loud? Holy crap crappity crap crap inner goddess subconscious!

KATE: OMG FAVORITE SHIP OF ALL TIME.

AUDIENCE: … planet Earth sucks.

ASEXUALS: Told ya so!

We get a montage of ANA going to class and meeting her friend JOSÉ when she goes on her way to work.

JOSÉ: Hey, uh… I love you and care about you. I'll show this by being genuinely courteous and caring.

ANA: I'm sorry, but I'm into dicks who want to hurt me by sticking giant Hitachi Magic Wands up my butt. See ya!

JOSÉ: … I can do that, too…

AUDIENCE: DUDE. NO. IT AIN'T WORTH IT.

FAN AUDIENCE: Even we agree.

ANASTASIA gets to her work shift and her phone rings; it's her mother stating she's not coming to her graduat-*yawn* this is not relevant to a wiener pushed up a cooch, so who honestly watching this drivel would give a flying fladoodle? We want action, dammit!

AUDIENCE: Not that we're expecting any worth jacking off to.

CHRISTIAN: *stalking*

ANA: *sees him* Holy shit… I'm so turned on right now.

CHRISTIAN: Pleasant meeting you, future slav- I mean, Ms. Steele…-y Dan. That will be your pet name, oh yeah.

ANA: Just Ana. If you're going to continue stalking me, at least don't be too polite.

AUDIENCE: Yeah, except he was already out of that game to begin with by stalking you. And by being an asshole. And by raping you with his eyes.

CHRISTIAN: Fyi, my sweet ragmuffin, I'm actually here on business. *cough*excepti'mactuallynotandiactuallywantdatass*cough*

ANA: What can I help you with?

CHRISTIAN: Give me some rap- err, rope to strangl- I mean, tie you up- I mean, use erotic asphyxation for- I mean…

ANA: Rope?

CHRISTIAN: … Yeah, rope. Just plain "rope". Let's go with that…

More useless dialogue… Putting in random Tom & Jerry skits would tell the story better.

CHRISTIAN: *senseless flirting*

ANA: *holy-crap-he-talks-to-lil'-ol'-me-blush*

FAN AUDIENCE: Squeeee!111 OMG HE SOH SEXEHH!

AUDIENCE: Quiet! I'm trying to think of a way to excuse myself out of watching this.

FAN AUDIENCE: You just don't get it!

AUDIENCE: Uh, yeah, we do. We really do, pumpkin.

ANA: Thank you for buying at Clayton's, please come again have a great day, bye mmkay!

CHRISTIAN: Here's my phone number. I'm saying I'm offering original photos for your report by giving you this, but it's actually rapist-ese for "I want to penetrate your posterior".

ANA: Thanks come again. *he leaves, beat* I would masturbate now, but I'm so virginal and mentally 12-years old I don't even know how to.

AUDIENCE: Seriously? Just… seriously? Did you get an African circumcision or something?

The poopshoot-photo shoot happen fiddiddlediddlydoo. Of course, he asked her for coffee afterwards, like, the biggest shock since Donald Trump messing up as president… in case you don't get it, not shocking.

CHRISTIAN: Is José your boyfriend?

ANA: No.

CHRISTIAN: Is Paul your boyfriend?

ANA: No.

CHRISTIAN: Then no one will protect you from my sword's impending wrath. Perfect.

ANA: ?

AUDIENCE: The possessive streak isn't a warning signal.

FAN AUDIENCE: Dude, what the hell are you on about?

AUDIENCE: We're just counting the million things not inside Ana's brain. This is one of them, right behind sexual education and common sense.

FAN AUDIENCE: Dude, shut the f*ck up.

AUDIENCE: Nope. You get entertained by this, we get entertained by our thoughts. Win-win.

They go out for coffee. He would much rather do other things involving coffee with her, and I ain't talking about drinking it.

ANA: Woah, scolding hot.

CHRISTIAN: And I would ejaculate if it were all over you burning your skin and making you scream in pain- err, I mean, blow on it. Not just on it, but on my-

ANA: I find you intimidating.

CHRISTIAN: Clever hawk.

ANA: I also find you a high-maintenance obsessed jerk.

CHRISTIAN: Then why do you find me interesting?

ANA: The plot wants me to.

CHRISTIAN: Oh, right. So anyway, your family, what are they like? They must be just as interesting and colorless as you. (Finally got that pesky getting-to-know-her-question out of the way…)

ANA: My dad Ray is cool, and my mom is a romanti-

CHRISTIAN: Jab, jab jab. You?

ANA: Am I romantic? I'm an English major, so yes, I am. Because you have to be a linguist to be able to be passionate with words, and your entire personality hinges on your occupation. Also, this is a complete lie. I'm not romantic. I can't be if I'm lusting after you. But I like to think I am.

CHRISTIAN: *ahw shiet look* I can't deal with delusional dumbasses right now. Come, I'll walk you out, you can't do it yourself.

ANA: Because I'm so stupid?

CHRISTIAN: No, because you're a girl.

AUDIENCE: 100 million. 100 million dollars… *sob*

They go outside for the closest thing this movie can have for DRAMA. The scene is a bigger insult to the word than Ana's wet stain in her panties.

ANA: Look, if you have a girlfriend…

CHRISTIAN: I don't. I'm just going to pretend to have a shred of humanity in me by giving you one last warning that I'm everything you can't want, not that moronic girls like you like bad boys and will want to come back to them. Because this movie likes degrading women and making men into domineering overlords, in case you couldn't tell.

ANA: …OMG I'm going to sob and think about you and watch Nicholas Sparks films while eating chocolate ice-cream and be such a chick about it OMG boohoo! *runs off*

CHRISTIAN: …dammit, I'm horny now. Better find a prostitute.

AUDIENCE: I hope to find something to jack off to myself. Like the bicycle that just ran by and almost hit Ana in the shot.

FAN AUDIENCE: Jeez, you're still going?

ANA and KATE finished their exams and now they're going to party, because assuming you got passed in an exam without knowing first is cause for celebration. And, of course, along with being virginal like a rock in space without the company of another rock, she gets completely plastered. Aww, ain't that just the cutest thing ever?

AUDIENCE: When Rock Lee did it, yes.

FAN AUDIENCE: But, he destroyed everything in his path when drunk?

AUDIENCE: Exactly.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Let's up our game in cuteville.

ANA: *not having yet deleted him as contact for some reason, calls Christian* :D

CHRISTIAN: *picks up* Hello?

ANA: Hello. So, uh, this is my cute call to say I need you, man. Dude, I love you. Get over here so we can continue this plot already, you sexy fox. You're so bossy, tho. You need to stop being so controlling, I'm my own woman and I'll get what I want, and that is your dong in my throat.

AUDIENCE: Normally you become stupid when drunk, but she must be so stupid it goes the opposite way or something.

CHRISTIAN: Is this a booty call?

ANA: It's whatever you want it to be, baby. *hangs up*

JOSÉ comes out for the matter-of-time rejection scene with Ana as she has gone outside.

JOSÉ: I love you. Let's kiss.

ANA: No. I don't wannnaaaaa…

JOSÉ: No equals yes equals no equals yes equals no equals yes. Even numbers! That means you want to swallow my tongue. Let's get to it.

CHRISTIAN intervenes and pushes him away, trying to be a knight in shining armor, but since he is who he is, it's more like a kidnapping from the real knight in shining armor by comparison.

CHRISTIAN: Back off man, she's my future rape victim. Get your own.

JOSÉ: *rejected nice guy cockerspaniel eyes* *Leaves*

CHRISTIAN: Let's get you to my apartment.

ANA: No, thanks. I'm with Kate.

CHRISTIAN: I ordered my brother Elliot to go "Date Kate, she's willin'!"-

(A/N: I apologize for that reference, dear folks, but I have to maintain my sanity somehow)

CHRISTIAN: -because siblings are my bitches, too. You're coming with me now, I won't take no for an answer, you're useless by yourself.

ANA: *intimidated* Okay.

AUDIENCE: Crazy f*ck.

FAN AUDIENCE: Aww, he cares about her.

AUDIENCE: I'm pretty sure taking somebody home in hopes of screwing the shit out of them wouldn't fall under the "caring" category in the average dictionary.

FAN AUDIENCE: …is there an off switch on you?

AUDIENCE: So no one with actual brains can sarcastically comment on this to others amusement and make them want to kill themselves less? What do you think, genius?

Ana wakes up in Christian's apartment the next morning. Without even seeing him, hearing him, smelling him or using any of the other five main senses, he's already giving her orders in poor Alice in Wonderland references on the bedside table.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND REFERENCE: I'm only in it for the money.

ANA: Oh my God, an odd moment of out-of-characterness (the most I can have, anyway) makes me realize waking up like this is creepy. I mean, I'm undressed. And where did you sleep?

CHRISTIAN: Next to you.

ANA: OH. MY. GOD.

CHRISTIAN: Don't worry, necrophilia is not my thing.

ANA: What's that got to do with anything?!

CHRISTIAN: … *sigh* I didn't have sex with your sleeping body.

ANA: Why didn't you just say so? What the hell did you mention necrophilia for?

AUDIENCE: Because E.L. James and Sam-Taylor Johnson feel so smug that they know a complicated word they forgot to look up the actual meaning behind it.

ANA'S SUBCONSCIOUS: Don't worry, that's kind of their thing.

CHRISTIAN: *throws toast at Ana* EAT.

ANA: NO. *throws it back*

CHRISTIAN: I ain't playing catch *throws it back* EAT.

ANA: *succumbs, takes a bite*

CHRISTIAN: I'm picking up new clothes for you, too. The ones you wore looked like shit.

ANA: Because I puked on them?

CHRISTIAN: Yeah, that too. *takes off shirt for absolutely no reason*

ANA'S VAGINA: Hominah hominah hominah hominah

FAN AUDIENCE: HELL YEAH, WE'RE FINALLY IN FOR KINKY STUFF!

AUDIENCE: Kill me…

CHRISTIAN'S ABS: Hey, baby, wanna go back to my place?

ANA'S CLIT: You bet your ass I wanna!

CHRISTIAN'S ABS: Cool. Let's just hope our hosts agree.

ANA'S CLIT: GDAMMIT.

ANA'S BRAIN: LOL!

ANA'S CLIT: STFU

ANA: Why did you take me here?

CHRISTIAN: Haven't I made that clear a million times already? I can't leave your sexy pooper alone, because I wanna do it.

ANA: …then don't. Leave it alone, I mean.

ANA'S CLIT: LOL!

ANA'S BRAIN: STFU

CHRISTIAN: You don't understand… oddly enough. I'm into BDSM. I like hardcore spanking-your-ass-til-you-bleed kink. I'm not into romance, I only like the aspects coming from it. You wouldn't be able to handle it.

ANA: Wanna bet?

CHRISTIAN: …50 bucks?

ANA: Deal. But I'll have to work first. Let's meet at 7 pm.

CHRISTIAN: 'Kay.

ANA'S BOTTOM LIP: *attention whoring*

CHRISTIAN: I'd like to bite that lip.

AUDIENCE: *snort laugh* I'm sorry, that's… just… beautiful. This would make an awesome comedy film. Just leave out the violent abuse, and you've got material better than Adam Sandler's.

CHRISTIAN: But I want you to write consent to that.

ANA: Ok.

AUDIENCE: *ROARING LAUGHTER*

FAN AUDIENCE: What's so funny? Lip-biting may be classified as rape in Wyoming!

They go to the elevator to take Ana home, with the latter doing some more cute lip-biting.

CHRISTIAN: That's a dealbreaker!

AND SEXY MAKEOUT TIEMZ ARE HAD LMAO.

They get to Ana's apartment and MORE SEXY TIEMZ ARE HAD… by Kate and Elliot, that is.

FAN AUDIENCE: Oh, come ON! When are the things we paid for coming?

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Patience. If we made it shorter, the movie would be cheape- I mean, the movie wouldn't follow the original novel.

ANA: Okay, I did not have to see that.

CHRISTIAN: Only if it were you and I in a mirror. *slasher smile*

ANA: Whu…?

The boys leave for the girls to have girls talk which is stupid as per usual. (A/N: Before you say anything, I'm female. Who find this kind of girl talk stupid. I'm not explaining it further).

KATE: Now did you f*ck?

ANA: No.

KATE: Damn! How slow are you, girl?

ANA: I barely know him, Kate.

KATE: So what?

AUDIENCE: Because true love doesn't have to revolve around sex and in actuality comes down to respect and understanding from both parties' ends and being happy just spending time with your partner in terms and ways that aren't constantly related to your genitals?

FAN AUDIENCE: Ha! What kind of gay theory is that?

AUDIENCE: The theory from dawn of time.

FAN AUDIENCE: …Well, the world is progressing.

AUDIENCE: Negatively, yes.

FAN AUDIENCE: For crying out loud, when will you shut up?!

AUDIENCE: When they give up on continuing the series.

FLYING-IN-A-STUPID-HELICOPTER-MONTAGE: *plays music by Ellie Goulding far surpassing the quality of this film*

Their helicopter ride got them to an apartment more classy than any mansion somewhere else, which isn't where they were before at least, and wine is had. There is a non-disclosure agreement set on the table in front of Ana.

ANA: What is that?

CHRISTIAN: It's a contract with terms and conditions about discussing our relationship, sexually or no, with anyone. My frickin' lawyer is involved with it, because rutting back and forth is formal business.

ANA: Wow, I had no idea you were so organized. That's hot.

AUDIENCE: Controlling is more like it.

ANA signs it without reading its entirety, making her agree to become a HUMANCENTiPAD with two others that… oh, sorry, wrong show. I just find that scene more arousing than anything in this.

ANA: Are you gonna make love to me now?

CHRISTIAN: I don't make love. I f*ck. Hard.

AUDIENCE: That line is too magnificent to comment on.

FAN AUDIENCE: GOOD. I was about to bash your head in.

Ana isn't frightened, because those words are calming for a virgin. She asks why this is, and he takes her to his "playroom".

CHRISTIAN: Beyond this door, there's a playroom.

ANA: Like your Xbox and stuff?

AUDIENCE: How the hell are you 21?

CHRISTIAN: If by Xbox you mean anal play thing, then yes. Not that I would expect a hair-brained idiot like you to use sexual euphemisms.

He takes out a key.

CHRISTIAN: Anyway, know that you can leave at any time. If it's too much for you, I completely understand. Just know that the helicopter is outside and I'm not forcing you into anything. Just relax, don't panic when you see it, just tell me. Calm down, calm down CALM DOWN CALM DOWN!

ANA: YOOUUUU calm down!

AUDIENCE: The Three Stooges slapstick would be comedy gold right now.

ANA: Try me, Mr. Man.

ANA'S BRAIN has been beaten to unconsciousness by the other three main emotions of hers.

ANA'S CLIT: Welcome to kinkville, faggot.

The door is opened, and she's presented to the very sexual definition of "playroom".

ANA: HOLY SHIT.

In terror, she looks at his perverted stash of sex toys. Stepping forward, she takes an even breath and touches one of them thoughtfully. Christian walks up behind her.

CHRISTIAN: That's a flogger.

ANA: Yeah, because when I see a room full of sexual equipment meant for blurring the thin line between pain and pleasure I'm not even familiar with as I'm a virgin I wonder what the hell a feathery sex toy is called.

CHRISTIAN: Didn't you?

ANA: …yeah, I did.

CHRISTIAN: Well, then. What do you think?

SILENCE: *appropriate*

CHRISTIAN: Say something. Please.

ANA: Well, sorry, but this is a lot to take in! I have never had sex, after all! Do you expect me to just up and "This is cool, let's roleplay as Batman and Catwoman while I'm tied up in the most humanly degrading position possible with these ropes over here"?

CHRISTIAN: …yes? I mean, only if you want me to.

AUDIENCE: Well, how the heck can she know if she wants to, dumbass?

CHRISTIAN: Well, I'm a dominate. That means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me. There are my set of rules I want you to follow; if you follow them, reward awaits. If you don't, you'll be punished.

ANA: By using this stuff on me?

CHRISTIAN: No, by saying mean things to you that would hurt your widdle feewings- of course with this stuff, lummox!

AUDIENCE: You know that South Park fanfiction "Kyle in Chains"? That story explained BDSM a hell of a lot better.

FAN AUDIENCE: That story didn't even revolve around BDSM.

AUDIENCE: Exactly.

ANA: What would I get out of this?

CHRISTIAN: Aside from bruises? Me.

ANA: And if I refuse?

CHRISTIAN: You won't be getting me, genius. That's how bargains work.

They leave the room to head for a different room.

CHRISTIAN: If you agree, this will be your room during the weekends while we spend the entirety of it having hardcore sex in mine. We'll discuss negotiations later and sounding so formal when talking about something so ridiculous as this is just laughable.

ANA: …what if I wanted you in a romantic way?

CHRISTIAN: That will never work.

ANA: But-

CHRISTIAN: I said no. I can only have this type of relationship. I only get off on making my girls suffer. Being tender and loving towards them makes me sick to my stomach. It's so gay. Because people practicing bondage don't have feelings and are cold-hearted monsters like me.

ANA: Aren't you being a bit close-mi-

CHRISTIAN: No, I'm not. Now shut up.

AUDIENCE: F*cking bigot.

CHRISTIAN: Now, I have a contract prepared detailing what kind of pain I want to serve on your pretty little ass. I'll let you decide what I can do to you, except I will not.

ANA: I wouldn't know how. Because like my naïvity about this subject has strongly implied during the last few days, I'm a virgin.

CHRISTIAN: What is that, what is vur-geen? Never heard of it. *gets whispered information by Sam-Taylor Johnson* Holy crap, that's a concept?!

He retaliates in shock and rests his forehead in his palm.

CHRISTIAN: Just… a life without sex. What kind of life is that? Is it the life of the dismayed? Do you live in New Jersey?

ANA: Maybe lives don't revolve around sex.

CHRISTIAN: Dare say that again and I will slap the shit out of you.

AUDIENCE: And we all know perfectly well you'd follow up on that word.

Christian empathically cradles her face in his hands, feeling sorry for her for something one shouldn't feel sorry for anyone about.

CHRISTIAN: Poor baby. You don't know how it feels to be penetrated by a pink-headed womb broom in your octopus taco? My God. I can't imagine the pain you're enduring.

ANA: Um… I'm not hurting.

CHRISTIAN: Yes, you are. Without knowing it. I don't know how you can feel pain without knowing it, but that's beside the point. I need to save your honor by f*cking you until your pussy has turned to mush.

ANA: Didn't you say you wouldn't touch me until I wrote my consent?

CHRISTIAN: Look, you want me to make tender, passionate, affectionate love to you or not?

ANA: *instantly forgets what she just said* Of course, *swoony-woony*. Let's hit the sack, bad boy!

AUDIENCE: Finally! Let's see if the trailers put the money where their mouths are.

They take an awful long time to strip each other…

AUDIENCE: Okay…?

Take more time stripping one another…

AUDIENCE: OKAY?

Now he's slowly caressing her from top to bottom.

AUDIENCE (ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD VOICE): WHAT THE F*CK?!

FAN AUDIENCE: *smiles awkwardly*

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Perfect! That fills the tenderness quota for the film. Now, what more can arouse the viewer? Ah, yes, close-ups of Dakota's nipples and Jamie's hairy ass, of course!

AUDIENCE: *grossed out*

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: And his refusal to let her touch him during her first time is so hot OMGGG, I'm 'bout to bust my puss… OH… OOOOHHHHHHH…. Ah, done. Get me some tissues, E.L James. I'm finished.

E.L. JAMES: THAT WAS BLOODY AWESOME, I GOTTA SAY! There's no way any one can not get hot and bothered by this.

FAN AUDIENCE: …WTF. We paid to see porn! Instead we got close-ups of skin and poorly-acted orgasms.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: You paid to see Fifty Shades of Grey. Now shut up and beat it. Literally. 'Cause this is what you're getting.

FAN AUDIENCE: FFFFMMMLLL…

Some more SMEXY TIEMZ are had, but it further reinforces the wish among the audience that they could be watching a good-quality video of drying paint instead. Because it would be more sexually stimulating than anything we've been shown so far, including the hot tub sex…

AUDIENCE: You know? I would be a million times more excited had the main characters been Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling instead.

FAN AUDIENCE: But he's literally a murderous psychopath!

AUDIENCE: Exa-*gets punched by fans* -oof!

ANA: So where's the 50 bucks you owe me?

CHRISTIAN: Not so fast, I have yet to- *hears steps downstairs* oh, shit! Mommy's here!

CHRISTIAN'S BOLOGNIA WAND: Retreat! Retreat!

ANA'S BRAIN: So I guess this is the only sense of dignity he has, huh?

ANA'S CLIT: You still alive, asshole?

They go downstairs to greet Christian's mother (whom is not the one described in the book as the "crack whore" I hope…)

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: Hey, how is my baby today? Is he feeling like the same shit-load amount of money he's got for doing nothing but sexing random ladies up?

CHRISTIAN: MOOOOOOOOOMMM, I was having a lady over for SEEEEEEEEXXX…

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: Hush, dear, I know you have to do something to not bore yourself to death in your spoiled rotten rich life.

CHRISTIAN: *childish pout*

Ana reaches her hand out to greet her hopefully-not-future-mother-in-law, which the latter grabs.

ANA: Hello~

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: Oh, you must be his new toy! It is a pleasure to meet you, the 105th girl in his woman-of-the-week-parade. How's your bottom?

ANA: Well-

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: Oh my, you must be a very special girl whom he could hopefully settle down with forever; I've never met such a chunk of platinum like you! How would you like to come to a family dinner so we could get more acquianted with a rare gem such as yourself?

ANA: Umm…

CHRISTIAN's MOM: Perfect. I'll make the arrangements. You just go get yourself ready in that wedding gown, sweetheart.

CHRISTIAN: Uhm, mommy? Shut up. You're embarrassing me.

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: My dear boy, don't be embarrassed. I think you and her could become something. She's so extraordinary compared to all the other strumpets you've fooled around with. I just look at her and think perfection.

ANA: Fart.

CHRISTIAN'S MOM: EXCELLENCE! Well, I'll be heading out now.

AUDIENCE: Just a heads up, she didn't really say "fart", we just put it there because she might as well have.

FAN AUDIENCE: How are you able to do that?

AUDIENCE: Sarcasm is a superpower, numbskull. Have you lived under a rock among brainless babies on North Sentinel Island in the Bay of Bengal or something?

FAN AUDIENCE: What?

AUDIENCE: What?

AUTHOR OF THIS PARODY: *obviously out of sarcasm fuel*

The duo, not couple, comedy DUO, goes upstairs to have some penis-to-vag, err, heart-to-heart. They can't even have brain-to-brain… or foot-to-foot for that matter.

ANA: *suddenly jealous* How many women have stayed in here?

CHRISTIAN: *quick* 15.

ANA: That's a lot of women…

AUDIENCE: Nah, sweet-ums, you're barely scratching the surface. He has had more women than there are Undertale AUs.

FAN AUDIENCE: And how do you know that?

AUDIENCE: How do you not know that?

ANA: I still don't want out. You're shaking with anticipation of beating me senseless in ways thinly veiled as pleasurable, not promising any tenderness and romance whatsoever despite you having said that's what I want, and not claiming you'll stop being a control freak in every little aspect of my life. But I still don't want out. I'm now going to contradict what I just said by being catty about agreeing to it.

CHRISTIAN: Well, your call. I promise, it will be very pleasurable and satisfying to be doing hardcore kink even when it's a new thing to you and may not be your thing after all. Just ignore the bleeding out of your pink sock and excessive pain that will come with it, it's all in the name of mind-numbing pleasure.

ANA: Well, if I do get sexual pleasure out of it, I guess I could think about it.

CHRISTIAN: You getting pleasure? What in- oh! Yeah…! Right…

ANA: Also, why don't we sleep like a normal couple? Why do we have to sleep in separate rooms?

AUDIENCE: Haven't you been listening to what he said at all? Aside from "You. Me. Bandicooting"?

CHRISTIAN: Because like I've already demonstrated to true BDSM practicioners' frustrations, people into this kind of stuff are cold-hearted dicks not giving squat about their partner's feelings, so naturally, they must be portrayed as such and hate warm, tender intimacy.

AUDIENCE INTO BDSM: Screw this film. Screw it with a ten-foot pole coated in sulfuric acid.

AUDIENCE: … *slow clap*

ANA: You know what? Screw this. Screw you. I'm leaving. I'm my own woman, dammit. I don't want a creep like you to be controlling me, thank you very much. I'm going home. Don't touch me.

Ana leaves determined. Everyone in the theatre quietly gawk in awe at the scene unfolded.

AUDIENCE: Holy crap, what's happening?! She's turning awesome!... did she get drunk again?

…only to have this moment of awesome be crushed into tiny bits when she's letting Christian drive her home.

ANA: Yeah, I know, but drive me home, then I'll be my own woman.

AUDIENCE: It's going to go on like this, ain't it?

Then he doesn't drive her straight home, but to a secluded area in a forest where no one can hear them for miles, and will provoke the makers of films like the Pumpkinhead into filing complaints of plagiarism. Because this kind of plot could very well set off when you have a character like Christian Grey. Anyhow, Ana is being stupid as she agrees to walk with him in the woods, furthering setting in stone that her subconscious will make her do as he says no matter what… as she dances in that bright red hula skirt and stomps her foot and makes a triple-axel jump or whatever.

ANA: So what made you realize that hurting women is sexually gratifying to you?

CHRISTIAN: I was sexually abused by a family friend when I was 15.

ANA: That's terrible!

CHRISTIAN: No, it was awesome. 'Doesn't matter, had sex', y'know? You're the pity pig here, as you were still a loser virgin prior to me fixing your shameful treatment of your body by not sticking stuff up your every orifice. Freak.

They walk near a bridge out to the open waters.

CHRISTIAN: Nobody knows. Not my mommy, not my brother, not anyone. And this is not a problem I should have called the police for since she f*cked me up, cuz…doesn't matter, had sex. It was intimidating for me at first, too, but I eventually came to consent to her sexual abuse of a minor. Hear that, pedophiles? Sexually abuse a child enough, and they will eventually like it!

AUDIENCE: In the name of everything sacred, E.L. James, do you plan to brainwash the whole planet into bowing down to you, too? 'Cause I can already see the pedos starting to kneel down.

ANA: So, what? You're saying just because you liked it eventually, I'm going to, too?

CHRISTIAN: Exactly. There's no such thing as asexuality, discomfort/fear of sex, lack of a sex drive, a job, work, vacation, your family, spirituality, love, whatever. I don't know how those damn things are even concepts, mind you. I didn't have to give a shit about anything anymore. I didn't need to take responsibility for anything, I can just be whatever douchebag I feel like, 'cause I can disguise it as being a 'dominate'. When I felt that climax of my first time, I felt free and wonderful. It's my world. It's everything. It's my life. And if you let me, it can be yours, too.

ANA: *sceptic*

CHRISTIAN: You're the only girl I want this with. You're the only one I rode with in that helicopter, and had sex with in my own bed. You're specially speshuul, gurl.

ANA: *beams*

CHRISTIAN: *Phew-I-hope-I-didn't-forget-to-throw-out-Caitlyn's-panties-out-of-the-backseat-of-that-helicopter-grimace*

AUDIENCE: Oh. He pulls the "you're-the-only-one"-manipulation card. Nice touch.

CHRISTIAN: I've never slept next to anyone. Ever.

AUDIENCE: Except for your cousin Burt in 4th grade on a camping trip. Better watch out for her finding out you're lying, mac!

FAN AUDIENCE: Okay, will anyone shut this jackass up?

They share a soaring kiss, exchanging trust that shouldn't be there, lies, uncertainty, manipulative words… not saliva. Doggone it, not saliva. It would almost have been enough to compensate for the boredom of this scene. Then again, because it's FSoG, I would have complained, either way.

He then drives her home, but she seems to have a different attitude, but that's normal. That's what every person under Christian's manipulation would be. Not accepting, just… deluded. Insanely deluded.

CHRISTIAN: Contract. Read. Choice. Sex. *would have crossed out the next to last point initially but realized it would have scared her away from being his plaything so he didn't*

ANA: *nods* *grabs contract* *walks inside*

CHRISTIAN: *cartoony villain hand fidgeting* All according to plan.

ANA walks in having been given a new computer by Christian whom she talked to mere seconds ago. Oh, an he also gave her first-editions of some books she likes earlier in the film, but whatever. Didn't find that a crucial detail other than adding to the "I-shower-you-with-gifts-so-you-must-do-as-I-say" manipulation scale.

AUDIENCE: What's the difference between Christian Grey and Ted Bundy? Bundy at least tried to be charming when luring his victims.

FAN AUDIENCE: … *snorts a laugh*

AUDIENCE: What was that?

FAN AUDIENCE: I'm… just… I'm having a cold.

AUDIENCE: Uh-huh.

Kate is there being useless for a while and then Ana begins using the laptop. Apparently, it doesn't need to have information of the owner when signing up, nor a battery it seems, as it's immediately on. Now they're having e-mail contact, but I'm just going to speed-forward this segment taking its course over a few days (which requires talent to pad out, if you ask me) because it's useless filler about kinkmania fake trivia.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar (ANA) has logged in.

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop (CHRISTIAN)has logged in.

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Use this computer for research on BDSM. Since your own computer is obviously incapable of that.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: ok!11 ^^ but waiiii… are u gunna keep orderinh me around liek dis? cuz if u r den fuk of :)

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: You first want to be dominated and now you don't? This is the reason I don't value bitches above a hole. Anyway, to answer your question for the millionth time this hour, yes, I want to dominate you, and you will love it. I've already covered this issue with sarcasm so let's just move on.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: yea well…your the boss. what shud I search derpityderpderp? :)

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Well, wth do you think?

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: PUPPIES! :)

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Yeah… had we been searching on the deep web for crush porn. Just search 'submissive', Gena Leung.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: okidokiee!

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Well?

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: HOLY CRAPPY CRAP UP MY CRAPPER U WANT 2 DO DIS SHIET 2 ME LIEK WTF WTH IS WRONG WITH U U WAN 2 TY ME UP WITH LIL LETHERSTRAPPIES

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Of course I don't, mooncalf. I don't want to use any damn leather. Fish leather can't hold for poop. I need real stuff like rope to tie you down.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: I DUNNO. I DUNNO ANYMORE

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: Hey, relax, guy!

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: I AM PERFETCLY CALM. I JUST FORGET TO SHUT OF DUH CAPSLock is all. There. No butt serius thats som messed shit ur in 2 and I dun wanna be parg ovit. I just lost my virgin & I think I need 2 get used 2 mission before trying dog cat monkey coleacanth style or whatev its bn nice nwing you tho, hop u can find someone consentign. Kisses 33333 XOXOXOXOX CU

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop: …

HardcorePattycakeWithPoppedCherryOnTop has logged off.

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: wut

TwinkleTwinkleWittleStar: helo

Ana just got home from running when a looming, frightening, terrifying silhouette of a serial killer emerges from the darkest deepest corners of the shadows' domain, and- oh, wait. It's Christian.

AUDIENCE: What's with that surprised pause?

Expectly, this scares Ana's tits off, except not, otherwise Christian would have lost interest in her the instant she had had.

ANA: Holy crap on a crapper!

CHRISTIAN: YOU SHOULD HAVE RESPECTED MY AUTHORITAH. *proceeds to rape her*

I wish it was a typo. I wish upon Geppetto's star it was a typo. But it isn't.

AUDIENCE: Like, shit! We knew he was a creeper as we accused him of being a rapist, but we didn't think he would actually be one! …Our intuition was actually correct?

FAN AUDIENCE: Thanks a lot for jinxing it! Okay, you were right, we're admitting it. Happy now? Feeling better with your inflated ego further stroked?

AUDIENCE: Depends… do you know the Ashiatsu Massage Technique?

Some wacky looney adventures ensue involving ice-cubes, spanking, and raping of Ana in thin guise as kink. Hey, everytime he roughly thrusts into her as she gasps in pain, let's take one shot! That way we can survive this.

AUDIENCE: Two. Two shots.

And let's put in "Haunted" by Beyoncé as some mood music for the hot steamy scene of… taking these shots. What other steamy scene would there possibly be? No, seriously. Enlighten me.

AUDIENCE: Wait… this is way too fitting. Did you plan this, Sammy?

SAM TAYLOR-JOHNSON: Rape fantasy, bitch… HHHHHGGGGGNNNNN *climaxes*

AUDIENCE: …I'll take that as an "obviously I did, you idiot".

We cut to them laying in bed at night having some pillowtalk.

ANA: That was amazing.

ANA'S BRAIN: You know, you could say it wasn't rape anymore when you consented, but it was still rape because you initially didn't.

ANA'S VAGINA: Okay, this? Has got to, like, stop.

ANA'S BRAIN: I have to stop? Cutiepie. Hadn't it been for me, we would have been dead right now. I'm the only common sense she has provided to stay catty to his bossiness. Considering I'm in the minority, that says a lot about her intelligence.

ANA'S VAGINA: Well, then, why don't you stay in the minority and let us handle this, scrote?

ANA'S BRAIN: BRAIN LIVES MATTER

Ana wants to touch Christian, but…

CHRISTIAN'S BODY: Eyy, f*ck off, bitch, you be treadin' on private territory.

AUDIENCE: Ain't that hypocrisy more delicious than grandma's blueberry pie.

CHRISTIAN: So, anyway, are you gonna sign that contract? Not that it matters anyway, I would just rape you until you finally agreed to it. Boy, aren't negotiations always the best and most fair solutions? I win something out of it both ways, too.

ANA: Yeah, no. I dunno yet. You just raped me but I might still want in.

ANA'S BRAIN: *slowly getting dissipated from the power of dumbassness* NOOOOOOOO!

Christian walks up with a disappointed look and proceeds to put his clothes on.

ANA: Wait, you're more butthurt than I am?

CHRISTIAN: No, not really. I just have to go home and make a new list of ways to rape you in manners that would help persuade you. I was thinking of something with the word "cleveland steamer" in it next.

Ana reads the contract for a few days and decides that in order to avoid another rape, she could at least pretend interest by ordering som insanely dumb formal meeting between the two of them about the contract, which she isn't going to sign anyway, and only exist to pad out this movie more, because more the merrier, it makes green in pocket. Let's water it with dirty talk and sexual lube fluids.

ANA: Conditions: strike this out, strike that out, strike blah out…

CHRISTIAN: *sob* Okay. *grabs ice-cream* I don't know why I'm not giving up on you and just hire a prostitute. That's what Donald Trump is doing.

AUDIENCE: Because you're not just rich, both of your literal heads are also thick. I guess your income doesn't match your IQ.

ANA: What are butt plugs?

CHRISTIAN: *begins a "shit-are-you-serious" look but gets interrupted by his sla- err…aw, heck, why hide it, his slaves*

His goons come in to leave food and...yeah, that's it. Then they leave.

ANA: Okay, what was the point of adding that to the film?

CHRISTIAN: To further rub it in your face how rich I am and how luxurious I live and will make you agree to this contract and I'm not giving you all the details of what all the tools will be used for because miscommunication is also standard for BDSM.

AUDIENCE INTO BDSM: *claps in strained joy, pukes blood*

CHRISTIAN: You know, I'm pretty impressed with your devotion to this contract, I didn't expect that since no other subject was.

AUDIENCE: Because they were smart?

CHRISTIAN: Tell you what, once a week, we'll go on a date. As a couple. But all the other days of the week you'll bend to my will and I will f*ck you in every way I choose, and if you refuse, I'll abu- err, punish you.

AUDIENCE: You're still trying to hide it?

ANA: OMG, you care about me?! That's so romantic!

CHRISTIAN: Sure, whatever. We can watch a movie… have you ever seen Backdoor Sluts 9? Fritz the Cat? No wait, I know… Pinocchio! That donkey transformation scene is my favorite porno.

ANA: I believe I haven't. Enlighten me, then?

CHRISTIAN: App, app, app, only on that one day of the week, skank.

They finish up this "business meeting" and they talk the dirty that would water dollar greens and money trees.

CHRISTIAN: (actual line) I would like to f*ck you into the middle of next week.

ANA: *smiles, flattered*

AUDIENCE: Would screaming in agony at her messed up reaction to that statement be overreacting?

FAN AUDIENCE: We don't know anymore.

ANA: Anywayz, I want to leave to review these changes and then I'll decide. Could you hold in your kinky sex-pee just a widdle while longer?

CHRISTIAN: *growling impatiently* Would f*cking you on this table help you decide faster? Because, as you remember, I can just rape you until you consent.

ANA: Mew?

CHRISTIAN: You want me to make love to you. I can see it; you're pressing your thighs together, your breathing's turning uneven, your complexion… you're flushed.

ANA: Did you just describe trying to hold in a fart?

CHRISTIAN: If you did stay, I would *dirtytalkdirtytalkdirtytalkdirtytalkdirtytalkdirtytalk*

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Well? Are you getting excited? Cuz I sure am, ohohohoh! You naughty boy, Christian, you!

FAN AUDIENCE: I can't get it up/wet to save my life.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Need help? Lower-lip-bite?

FAN AUDIENCE: No don't you get it? YOU SUCK! Watching my grandmother naked would make me climax faster!

AUDIENCE: OH, SNAP!

E.L. JAMES: You just don't get it.

FAN AUDIENCE: Says someone whose toxic vagina hasn't gotten action in probably 20 years and needed to write something as dry and simple as this to get horny.

AUDIENCE: OOOOHHH OHHHHHHH 360 NO SCOPING LIKE F*CK

Ahem, anyway, back to the story. Ana decides to leave, for some reason not given, I guess, immediately. Anyway, Ana's being a little of a tease, which I don't think will help him hold further back from taking her over and over against her will like a daffodil being forced to open its petals before spring has properly matured. I'm sorry, I'm trying to sound funny. I know it's not working.

ANA: This will have to wait, I'm gonna go graduate.

CHRISTIAN: Again? Because you failed the first one?

ANA: No, this is the first one.

CHRISTIAN: Oh, that wasn't over yet? …f*ck a duck.

They graduate and Christian has a speech at the graduation in order to be an attention whore. Ana meets her dad afterwards.

ANA'S DAD: I'm so proud of you. My little girl graduated with honors and will begin a successful career. I'm so moved.

AUDIENCE: Okay, now this is just sad.

CHRISTIAN: Woah, she's talking to her dad she hasn't seen for a long while? Time to butt in and be a possessive creep!

ANA'S DAD: Oh, hello. So you're Ana's boyfriend? Pleasure to meet you. I enjoyed your speech greatly. How long have you two known each other?

CHRISTIAN: Excuse me, sir, I couldn't hear you over the prospective scream of pain I'll envoke from her when we have damaging sex tonight. Also, over the cameraman wanting a shot. Pardon.

Christian pulls Ana close for the shot despite her discomfort.

AUDIENCE: Any sane father would cut his testicles off at this point. So he's either insane or a step-father how would personally do the same.

They later have champagne.

CHRISTIAN: To celebrate the fact that nothing stops you from signing that damn contract already. Oh, and your graduation.

ANA: *looks down*

CHRISTIAN: Bitch, did you just roll your eyes at me? Oh my God, you insolent little snitch. I'm going to spank yer arse if ye do that again, lassie.

AUDIENCE: Why don't you just admit there's no need for a contract already?

CHRISTIAN: By the way, I've got you a gift.

AUDIENCE: Is it her freedom?

CHRISTIAN: Not even close, it's a brand new car.

ANA: Holy shnapcaronis, a new car? A new car. A new car! I can't take it, it's too much. I have my own.

CHRISTIAN: No, you see, you have to take it, because I sold the one you already had.

ANA: F*ck, are you serious now?! What the hell is wrong with you?! It was my damn car!

AUDIENCE: Is it finally dawning on her now?

CHRISTIAN: Wait, bitch, did you just roll my eyes at me again? Did you just have the insolence of being rightfully angry at me for selling something that wasn't mine but I think I can sell anyway because I think money gives me authority? That's enough. You're getting a spanking, you naughty girl.

AUDIENCE: FOR DOING WHAT?!

Christian proceeds to spank her with the agressivity of a newborn puppy.

AUDIENCE: Oh. Well, that alleviates things somewhat.

FAN AUDIENCE: How dare she not accept a gift when he sold her stuff without telling her first. How dare she. Why doesn't he the next time just kill her mom and then put her on the Judas Cradle for daring to cry over her death?

AUDIENCE: …wait, are you agreeing with us?

FAN AUDIENCE: …no?

Christian leaves after getting his nightly get-off and Ana gets a call from her mother.

ANA'S MOM: Hi, honey. My mother senses are tingling that something is completely and utterly wrong with you at this time. Wanna talk?

AUDIENCE: What, have your mother instincts been on vacation during this whole movie?

ANA: *silently cries* Mama…

ANA'S MOM: What's wrong? Honey, what is bothering you?

ANA: *sob* I dunno if he's making me happy. He's so weird, I'm… so confused.

ANA'S MOM: You know, come down whenever you want to talk. I'm here. Well, I always have been. I don't know what took you so long to realize you need sense beaten into you.

ANA: That's… I might do that.

Then she goes and makes out with the same prick they just talked about.

AUDIENCE: No comment.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Time for more baking baby-batter, baby!

FAN AUDIENCE: *Feelings of emptiness*

E.L. JAMES: Ohhhh yeahhh…

FAN AUDIENCE: *Feelings of the suicidal kind and emptiness*

After the movie's hourly sex, they head to have dinner with his family. You know? The one they promised earlier in the film…? Yeah, I didn't remember either, I had to look back at what I had written.

Believe it or not, they actually have a decent talk. His family is nice, like his mother, and brother… too bad the reason she's there is a posessive rap- you know what? We should invent a new word for this guy. How does Christianity sound?

AUDIENCE: That one's taken, dumbass. Just go with Christian.

FAN AUDIENCE: Isn't that one taken too?

AUDIENCE: Oh, come on!

ANA: Yeah, my mother lives in Georgia. I'm going to visit her tomorrow.

CHRISTIAN: You're trying to be your own woman? How dare you! When were you gonna tell me this?

ANA: Woah, chill the hell out. I'm just going to visit her. It's not like I'm out of our bargain and planning to move as far away from you as possible, even though that's what my brain has been nagging me about doing.

CHRISTIAN: You're implying there's a difference between those notions.

They leave to walk in the garden, with Christian carrying her on his shoulder and spanking her on the way.

ANA: Why are you angry? This is my choice! You have no right to control everything I do!

CHRISTIAN: Stop spewing bullshit or you're in for a spanking.

ANA: You're already spanking me!

CHRISTIAN: In for a beating, then. You're mine, all mine, when are you going to realize that? You're only mine.

AUDIENCE: What, are you worried she's going to have incest-sex with her mom, or something?

They kiss "passionately" for a few moments until Ana breaks away.

ANA: Christian, you are so confusing.

FAN AUDIENCE: I swear, they were going to say "controlling" but changed it at the last second.

ANA: Why can't we sleep in the same bed? Why can't you let me touch you? Why do you care so much about that damn contract? Why can't you like me the way I am? Why must you hurt me to get off? Why must you be such a cold-hearted prick?

AUDIENCE: Did she ask all the questions?

FAN AUDIENCE: *looks at list* Check, check, check… nope. She still hasn't asked herself why she's with him. She also hasn't asked herself why she felt attracted to him in the first place, but her realizing that is overestimating her intelligence.

He, unsurprisingly, doesn't answer a single question. Except he does, when she's asleep later on, but unbeknownst for him, it doesn't really count. Not in my book, anyway. And not in every other person's book on this planet. Except maybe Stephenie Meyer's.

Ana is giving a feminist boost and goes to meet her mother in Georgia despite his protests, because she hasn't descended deep enough into the madness that she'll stop loving her family… kind of what Christian has. I hope we can still help her.

FEMINISM: I'm the most all-mighty power in the universe and you all should bow down to me! I'm Wonderwoman, I'm Starfire, I'm-!

ANA'S CLIT: Oh, shut the hell up.

Ana has dinner/lunch with her Step-father and mother.

STEP-DAD: You wanna know this recipe? It's easy. Just take som movie-padding and pour it with salsa.

ANA: Thanks! I'll make sure to keep that in mind for the next two films! Sammy must start getting creative on that part if they are to be released.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: Can it! I'm doing my best.

AUDIENCE: To be honest, I'm not really blaming Sammy here.

Ana later lays in bed.

ANA: I got here to get away from Christian, so now I'm gonna text him saying I wished he were here with me.

The next day, he arrives to meet her.

CHRISTIAN: Meddle?

ANA: Holy crap, what the crap are you doing here?!

AUDIENCE: Sanity is underrated, am I right?

CHRISTIAN: You sent me a text saying you wished I was here, so now I'm here. Duh. Do you want two other wishes granted?

ANA: Well, yeah. If you could leave me alone for five damn seconds, I would be happy.

CHRISTIAN: Forgot to tell you. I'm the kinky-genie, so I will only grant wishes involving me doing anal on you. Just clarifying your options.

ANA'S MOM: I love this guy!

FAN AUDIENCE: You mean comedy-wise, or…?

ANA'S MOM LEAVES, HAVING TO REFUEL THE TANK OF HER MOTHER INSTINCT RADAR. Christian sits down and rips her glass from her hand.

CHRISTIAN: Stop drinking that, child, and flirt with me. Flirt with daddy.

ANA: Flirt flirt.

CHRISTIAN: Let's randomly go plane-flying. I can do that too, y'know.

ANA: Okay. Bye mom!... she didn't hear me. Oh well! Let's leave without noting her!

PLANE-FLYING MONTAGE: *being stupid… wait, didn't we already do a scene like this?*

CHRISTIAN: *looks like an idiot*

ANA: *looks like she's fighting against swallowing a fish*

After the ride we're back in Seattle to continue this conflict-which-could-be-solved-with-a-dialogue-of-good-communication-or-a-police-call-or-having-the-luck-of-not-being-Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-drama.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: I think people with somehow chaste needs will be satisfied over this. Not that somebody not having them would know. Back to THE SMEX!

FAN AUDIENCE: The "plot" will be back after these supposed steamy messages.

AUDIENCE: Should we remove the "fan"-part of your name?

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: YES. THANK YOU.

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: NOT REALLY REMOVING IT, BUT WHATEV.

After the useless sex, we cut to Edw- err, Christian playing the piano with melancholy, Ana coming down listening to it.

ANA: The script of this film has really made me impatient. Can you tell me what the hell is wrong with you already?

CHRISTIAN: Shut the f*ck up.

ANA: Why do you wanna hurt me?

CHRISTIAN: Shut the f*ck up.

ANA: Why do you get off to it?

CHRISTIAN: BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I AM! SHUT THE F*CK UP!

AUDIENCE: Translation: Because I'm a sick f*ck still somehow roaming free and in desperate need of acceptance into the mental ward sharing the cell with Dexter.

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: And having the riches to back up every megalomaniac plan one can think of.

AUDIENCE: "And I own the police."

BIFF TANNEN: I'm proud of you, son.

DONALD TRUMP: Hey, that's my line, asshole!

ADOLF HITLER: Keep talking, bitches.

CHRISTIAN: (actual line) I'm fifty shades of f*cked up.

ANA: (drops IQ below -10) Because the stupidity of that line has dumbed me further than thought possible, why don't you show me just exactly how f*cked up you are?

CHRISTIAN: Okay. I'm gonna whip you six times.

EDWARD GREY: This pantywaist ain't got shit on me.

So Christian does, having her stripped naked to be whipped.

CHRISTIAN: *whips* HAHAHAHAH, WHO'S PUSSYWHIPPED NOW?! *whips* HAHA TAKE THIS LOL! *whips* TAKE THIS! IT'S NO USE! *whips* CHRISTIAN USED TAIL WHIP, IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE *whips* PERSONALLY, I PREFER YOUR ASS IN THE AIR! *whips*

ANA: *silently weeps in pain*

ANA steps away from Christian, covering her naked self in self-defense and a look of disgust in his direction. About time.

ANA: How dare you whip me! Even if I asked you to! Don't ever go near me again!

AUDIENCE: Oh, jeez. That shit again.

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: Bet it's not gonna hold.

She's later STILL in his house, sleeping, or rather weeping, in her room. He walks inside.

ANA: I love you, asshole. Leave now before I kill you, my love.

AUDIENCE: Wait, what?!

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: This film tries to subvert our expectations so hard it doesn't now which path to choose anymore! We have caused a rift in the space-time continuum! We have caused a paradox! The apocalypse! What are we to do?!

AUDIENCE: Take cover beneath the bunker which is our brain's nerve system.

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: Good idea!

ANA LEAVES CHRISTIAN AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER SEPARATED.

THE END.

AUDIENCE: I wish it was.

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: Holy crap! She was her own independent woman in the end! I've garnered the tiniest bit of respect for her now it's enough to create a molecule. Awesome twist E.L.!

E.L. JAMES: …

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: ERRR… THAT'S…

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: Wait, wait, wait, don't say anything! She's gonna come back and do some awesome Kill Bill shit, am I right?

AUDIENCE: Isn't ignorance just bliss?

FORMER-FAN AUDIENCE: Wait, what are you talking about? Why are you all so silent? *looks at movie poster for Fifty Shades Darker* MOTHERF*CK- *head explosion*

E.L. JAMES: *takes notes* Cause of spontaneous combustion; a movie overly sexually stimulating.

SAM-TAYLOR JOHNSON: We can do better than this, can't we E.L.?

E.L. JAMES: You bet yer arse!

AUDIENCE: NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE *jumps off fanfiction cliff*

[kchatjjigae]

Stephanie would give you a reporting on her BTS experience but she’s  dead. Totes dead. Killed by Kpop. Time of death, Friday, March 24th, approximately 8.30 pm. She died happy. May God have mercy on her pervy noona soul.

After meeting up with all factions of the Kpop Nerd Herd, we gathered at a Biergarten outside the Prudential Center–because apparently, pregaming kpop is a thing. Also, get this! The doors to the concert actually opened at 5.30! Holy smokes. Usually, my biggest complaint to kpop concerts is the fact that they are still loading in guests way past the time when the concert is supposed to start causing us, even with seated tickets, to have to get there way early in order to make sure we don’t miss anything. This time, nope, we walked through the doors, right through security and directly to our seats, not a single line to be waited in. It was a close second part of the evening. (First part of course, being anything having to do with BTS.)

As we all bought out tickets separately, we were all seated in various areas in the arena. I was by myself in section 7. Turns out 7 was one of the better sections of the group, beaten out only by Alexis who lucked out with P1 with sound check. Alexis who got in line, with her tent and sleeping bag, at 3am. Gads! I’d say that was crazy, but she got close, really close. Close enough to have full on Alexis/Jungkook interaction. I’m dead? I’m guessing she’s probably headed to the plot next to me.

I get to my SEAT, last to fill in the row, seated next to a J-HOPE and a Rap Monster bias. Not a bad place to be. My seat was right at the corner of the stage extension. The crowd screamed their excitement with every change of the monitors with their music video rotation. You know, because we kpop fans have no chill. We are like the anti chill. Eternally grateful they either allowed my camera in or didn’t find it in my bag, as my phone battery situation was scary–could you imagine what a sad, sad fangirl I would be if I came out of that thing without photographic proof I was there? Nope. Hellz nope.

Soon (as I really slipped in just moments before the show started) the lights darkened and due to my corner seat, I could literally see that all that separated us from BTS was a thin curtain. Yes, me and my (Let’s just come out and admit it) hands down favorite band were in the same country, the same state, zip code, building, room, we were breathing the same air. It’s a heady experience.

Then the curtain was gone. And there they were. Thank goodness I did have the camera as my memory of the thing is a hazy mess of happiness, fangirl squeeeeing, and BTS sweat.

After a disastrous attempt at video-chatting the experience with the McFeeleys  (damn you, cell service at the Prudential Center!) It was just me and the boys…and like 13000 other screaming fans.

Now. I’m not one of those girls who like any sort of sneak peak of what’s going to happen at a concert.  I avoid set lists. I run and way from fan cams. I feel like the surprise is part of the experience. This one going in though, especially since several members of the herd went to both nights, there were some details I was unable to avoid.

From the escaped set list, I knew everyone did a solo from the Wings album. I wasn’t really looking forward to this as I haven’t really listened to the wings album and I am under the assumption that I don’t like them, preferring my BTS as a whole rather than pieces. I knew, from Regina, that the costumes were made from lots of velvet, lots of sparkles.

Hrmmm…. BTS in sparkles? In velvet? And finally, I learned that they had some sound issues the first night where the background music was louder than the voices, which I wanted to believe that they would have fixed the second night around. Second-night people! When possible, always choose night two. Wait. Unless this would make it harder for me to get tickets to night two in which case, woah, first night, first night is the bomb! Get ’em fresh! Jet lag is sexy!

So, that being said, they sang the first one, being awesome of course, but then, since I was trying to live chat, I missed a good portion of it. However. The next song? BLEW MY EVER LOVIN’ BTS FANGRRRL MIND. What was it? Bapsae! Gah! I love this song so much, and not only that but, though I’m not really a ‘ooh look at that dance’ person, I’m all, look at that dance! This is the one song I honestly didn’t think that they would play, and I was literally sad that I’d never get to see them perform that awesome song and adorable dance in person. But I was wrong!!! They played it. It was awesome. The only thing was I couldn’t decide between video and photo so I basically put both down and just jammed out. Screaming my head off of course, but still jamming. If only they’d played it on the extended stage, it would have been perfect.

Side note. Just lost a massive amount of post due to a faulty save draft button. Endeavoring to continue. Harumph.

So. Unlike other bands that had multiple stages ahemBigbangahem BTS actually spent a fair amount of time on both stages, which made me–and the Rap Monster bias next to me very happy. Every time we caught sight of that front stage trap door opening, it was arm thumping and squeeeeing. This was also good because of their lighting choices made it so that anytime they were on the back stage, all video evidence of them were just white glowing orbs of happiness and gyrations. 

Also, you’ll notice my photos are a little Rap Monster and J-HOPE heavy. This was not an artistic choice. Okay. So maybe it was a bit. I couldn’t help myself. However, in my defense, they did spend a great deal of time on my side of the stage. It was almost like they knew and wanted to hang out with me. Plus I was egged on by the realization that I would make some of the members of our crew very happy documenting a little J-Hope. I wasn’t wrong.

Now. As I mentioned before, I did actually know they would be performing their solo stuff, and I have to admit it, I’m not the hugest fan, even after seeing them performed live. They aren’t terrible, they just, to me, aren’t very memorable. Except maybe Hobi’s song? Was he the one who sang about his mom? Oh, and Rap Monster when we all shouted that we loved him because his song is about not loving himself or something? Maybe if I give the songs more of a listen I’ll come to appreciate them more. 

Another song I kind of wished I’d been prepared for? Because I kind of lost my shit? Cypher 4. Holy fudge guys. I always meant to write a post on this song as, though I refused to listen to Wings, I do have it on my phone and one day I was on the train, heard this mind-blowingly awesome song that immediately hooked me in–turns out it was Cypher 4.

Gah! I love this song. To see the rap line out there all sexy strutting and growls it was flat-out amazeballs. There is really no other word to describe it. The jackets they wore. The saunters. The interaction. Not kidding, if they ever decided to eventually do a rap line sub unit, I would be all in. 

We should now probably talk about their costumes. Regina was right. They were heavy on the velvet, heavy on the sparkles, which is just weird, isn’t it? Thinking of their past concepts? Comparing BTS image from now to the little wannabe thug bunnies they first debuted as? Even their solo stuff was bedazzled.

My favorites, of course, will have to be the long robes that the rap line wore for the Cypher, but also the red knitted outfits they wore when they first came to the front stage. Jimin in that oversized red sweater?

Although everything was so oversized and layered it looked a bit like the outfits were actually eating the band. But who can blame them? Nom, Nom, Nom baby. The costume that did not go over well? Hands down would have to be what the KPNH referred to as the pink pearled Jackie O jackets. Seriously? What were they thinking? Whoever came up with that concept should probably…not be allowed to do that again. 

The stages itself was pretty simple, no fuss, no big show, the most they had were a few rising pillars in the back

and what appeared to be a glass phone booth that Rap Monster went into at the end of his performance and…I want to say Taehyung came out of at the beginning of his?

Hoseok had a chair, Yoongi an upright piano, but all in all, it was pretty minimal. They did have some backup dancers, but they were fairly unnecessary, really it just distracted from the main event rather than added to it–with the exception of the time that they lifted Jimin–that was pretty freaking cool. Go Jimin, go.

I think it showed that you really you could just have a great performance be a great performance. It’s like when good singers use autotune. Why? It certainly doesn’t add anything. And why bother with the expense?

There was a fun thing that they did at the end with the light sticks. The venue handed out colored bags that you could put your light stick in (the JHope fan grabbed me one and told me I could just use it with my cell phone battery–I totally would have if I hadn’t already run out of battery.) They handed out each section a color, so that at the encore when they boys came out again, the stadium would be lit up like a rainbow. That was pretty nice.

Rap Monster talked about how all colors could enjoy their music–or something like that–I was pretty much a wreck at that point, so I may have missed his meaning. 

Hands down this was one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Not just because the guys were there performing their asses off, but also knowing that I was there with almost all of my friends (shout out Cherry Cordial! Have fun at your concert soon!) were there in the stadium with me.

Knowing we were all having the same experience, knowing how much each and every one of us love this band, knowing that after this we would all get together and talk and squeee and laugh over the whole thing? Yeah, that’s what pushed the night over the edge for me and I will really never, ever forget it. 

Sappy much?

Anywhoo–I took way too many photos and here is a gallery of just a fraction of them….

The Wings Tour Or How BTS Murdered The Fangirl Stephanie would give you a reporting on her BTS experience but she's  dead. Totes dead. Killed by Kpop.

[elliotthezubat]

DEATH CITY DAYS CHAPTER 17

*insert witty description here*

Arthur: "...We could ask tomorrow? After you get some sleep." tamaki: ......... Arthur: "...I could set up a bed for you in the closet...but I think we'll have to tell Shinra." tamaki:.....fine..... Arthur: "..." (crawls under, hugs her) tamaki: !! Arthur: "I'm sorry for what has happened." tamaki:.......... Arthur: "...Is there anything I can do?" tamaki: can i wait here till morning? Arthur: (nods) "We don't have to tell Obi or Hibana until tomorrow..." tamaki:....thanks..... Arthur: "..." (holds her) shinra: well, we didnt find her.... Arthur: o_o shinra:....arthur? Arthur: "Nothing!" (gets up to fast--and hits his head on the bottom of the bed) "Owie!" Shinra: ??? Arthur: (rubs the back of his head) "So, um, no sign of Tamaki?" (edges to the door to lock it) shinra: you ok? Arthur: "S-Sure. Just...Can you keep a secret?" shinra:.........dude. it you're like that, then i have no problem with it, but you really arent my type. tamaki:............*nosebleed* Arthur: -_-; "Not that...In fact, the opposite. Very much the opposite. Totally, heterosexually the opposite." shinra:......sure dude. but just know we accept you, ok? Arthur: (clenched teeth) "Thank you." (clears throat) "I know where Tamaki is. But you can't tell anyone." shinra: seriously? Arthur: (nods) "But we can't tell anyone, not until tomorrow when we ask Obi and Hibana for help." shinra:.....ok. Arthur: "Because Burns has been making things hell there in the 1st, and she is going to ask about transferring here." shinra: seriously? Arthur: "Yeah. Don't you think Obi would be up for letting her transfer?" shinra: hmmmm.....well, i'm sure he'd be open to it....but burns on the other hand.... Arthur: "Well, Hibana is kind of terrifying--maybe she could scare Burns?" shinra: i dont think he scares easily... Arthur: "Hibana is pretty scary." (smirks) "Especially without her makeup..." shinra: or that green stuff. *shudders* Arthur: "See?! I was right! Women look all weird when--" (freezes) "Um...I shouldn't be talking badly about women...not when...when..." shinra: when there are 5 girls here and any of them could kill us painfully? well....except nozomi. she seems harmless. Arthur: "...Six girls." shinra: ???................................. Arthur: (sighs) "Come on out...Tamaki." tamaki: hey. shinra: *JAW DROPS* Arthur: "J-Just, don't say anything, okay? Keep calm, Shinra--" -THUD- -he passed out- Arthur: "...I hope no one heard him collapse." tamaki: get him in here! Arthur: "In where?" tamaki: in the room, dummy! Arthur: (checks outside) "No one in the hallway..." (pulls Shinra further away from the door, shuts it again, locks it twice) "...Now what?" -tamaki has placed him on the bed- shinra:....m-mom..... Arthur: "...Poor guy..." tamaki:...... Arthur: "Let him sleep it off...Can I get you water, Tamaki? Milk?" tamaki: im good. Arthur: "...Set up your bed in the closet?" tamaki: ok. *Arthur lays out a sleeping bag with cushioning underneath, as well as a pillow and sheets* tamaki: thanks. *she places her bag to the side* Arthur: "How's that? Good enough?" tamaki: it'll work. Arthur: "...Need pajamas?" tamaki: i didnt bring any..... Arthur: "O-Okay, you can borrow a pair of mine..." -in the morning- Arthur: *yawn* shinra: *yaaaawns* Arthur: "Oh, good, you're up..." shinra: oh.....hey....i had the craziest dream last night. Arthur: ._.; "R-Really?" shinra: i was attacked by a cat monster and my mom brought be back to safety... Arthur: "...Oh. 'Cat monster'?" shinra: yeah, and it was pretty angry. Arthur: "Uh, dude? Cool it on the 'angry cat monster' talk..." tamaki: screw you too. shinra:...... uhhhhhh......... Arthur: ^_^; "So...Can I keep her?" shinra: *sweats and looks away* Arthur: (still staring at Tamaki...nosebleed) -SMACK SLAP- shinra: ow.... Arthur: (nosebleeding, now for other reasons) "I-I didn't realize you had kitty paw-print panties..." tamaki: shut up. Arthur: "...Well, um, I guess Shinra and I could make it up to you by standing in our undies?" (gets up, starts taking off his pants) shinra: w-wait! tamaki: take his off too. *Arthur rips off his pants* Arthur: "Done!" shinra: i want no part in this! *Arthur, tugging on Shinra's pants* Arthur: "Come on, Shinra! We already saw hers!" shinra: w-wait no!! ???: *knocking on door* "Keep it down in there!" tamaki: O_O;;;;;;; Arthur: (ripped pants off Shinra) "W-What?" *Door knocked down* Takehisa: "Quiet! Some of us are sleep--" *Takehisa sees only Arthur and Shinra, pantsless* shinra:............................................................................... Takehisa: "..." tamaki: *under the bed* *sweats* shinra: *covers himself* NOOOO DONT LOOK! Takehisa: "...Keep down your loud pants-pulling antics. Breakfast is in 10 minutes." Arthur: "Y-Yes, sir!" Hibana: (walking by) "Nice undies, Shinra~" shinra: ./////////////////////////////. iris: *covering her eyes, not daring to peek* eep. Arthur: .\\\\\\\. "Could someone please replace our door?" Hibana: (pulling up Iris's hands) "Enjoy the show, Sister." iris: s-sister stop! >///////////< Hibana: (lets go) "Fine." Arthur: "Just leave us alone! We'll get dressed after we shower!" ("...'Shower'? Oh, God, how is Tamaki going to--?") -at breakfast- Arthur: "..." shinra: Q.Q Akitaru: "You boys need to keep down your play in your room. If you want to play slap-happy fun, okay, but keep it down." maki: sooooooo.....what all went down? Arthur: "N-Not that!" maki: *innocent whistling* nozomi: ????? Arthur: (grumbling...as he slips muffin and other food into his pockets) shinra:..... Takehisa: "I think we should replace the sound-proofing in the walls." shinra: .//////.;;;;; Akitaru: "I'll put it in the budget." Hibana: "Hmm...I'll miss hearing those sounds." (smirks) shinra: Q////Q Arthur: (stands up) "Okay, this joke is officially burnt up! Can we please move on!" (a muffin falls out of his pants' leg) Akitaru: "..." (stares at the muffin on the floor, then up at Arthur's crotch) iris: COMMANDER! D : Akitaru: "Why did a muffin fall out of your pants, Boyle?" Takehisa: "Obviously, he's not chewing enough." iris:............................. -_-; Arthur: "...I have to go now." (runs back to his room, opens the door, shuts it behind him, panting) tamaki: well then.... Arthur: o_o tamaki: you ok? Arthur: "Y-Yeah...Just an experience at breakfast." (gulps) "You look...great." tamaki: thanks. Arthur: (hands her small box of cereal, carton of orange juice, an apple, some bread and a closed small container of jelly, some yogurt--all sealed, none from his pants but from his pockets) tamaki: thanks. Arthur: "...W-Why were you in your underwear this morning if I gave you PJs?" tamaki: >->c-can we talk about something else? Arthur: "O-Okay...H-How is the temperature? Too hot? Too cold? Too average?" -elsewhere- Kid: *yawn* stocking: morning babe~ Kid: (smiles) "Morning, Angel." *smooch on the nose* stocking: hehe~ Kid: "Sleep well?" stocking: yeah. Kid: (pats her hip) "Shower and dress?" stocking: sounds good. Kid: "Want some company?~" stocking: i could be convinced~ Kid: (kisses her shoulder, massages her hip) stocking: ah~ Kid: "Convincing, yes?" (kisses her neck) stocking: indeed~ Kid: (places a hand along her right breast) "Shall we enter the shower?" -later- Kid: (smiles contently) stocking: ahhhh, that felt so good. Kid: (chuckles) "We were supposed to be getting clean, but that felt so dirty..." stocking: yeah, haha. Kid: (kisses her cheek) "Thank you." -at school- Arthur: ._____.; shinra:............... iris: you two are awfully quiet... Arthur: "NOTHING IS WRONG!" shinra: *silent* Arthur: "..." (pulls out phone, starts texting) [TaMeowKi: oh hey, whats up?] [ShiningKnight: how is everything on your end?] [TaMeowKi: doing well. the snacks should hold over till you guys get back. had a close call with gabs tho] [ShiningKnight: why was gab going in my room?] [TaMeowKi: she wasnt, but i did need- NVMND] [ShiningKnight: okay...?] -elsewhere- Akitaru: (thumbing through paperwork) "Still no sign of Tamaki, Gabriella?" gabriella: sadly no. i hope she's ok... Akitaru: "..." (leans back) "You ever talk with Leo Burns?" gabriella: not really. Akitaru: "He is one intense dude. Officially, Tamaki has violated protocol and has to be punished. Personally, I completely get her reasons for running away..." (glances at a photo on his desk) gabriella: *she looks at the photo* *It's of a woman and a child* gabriella:.............. i guess i can understand as well.... Akitaru: "...How long you been working with Hibana?" gabriella: about two and a half years, before that, my life.....it wasnt that great. Akitaru: "...Yeah." (stands up, stretches) "Hibana isn't that bad. Glad she has your back." gabriella: *she smiles* she gave me purpose in life, and i'll always be grateful for that. Akitaru: "..." (smiles pats her shoulder) "She's lucky to have you." -elsewhere- Yumi: "Just a few more months." lord death: *squeeee* Yumi: (chuckles) "Yes, I'm excited too." (kisses his cheek) lord death: *nuzzles her stomach* Yumi: (smiles, blushing a bit) "A lot of work is before us..." lord death: indeed.... Yumi: "You know what I want after she is born?" lord death: what? Yumi: "Aside from giving all the love in the world we can to our kids?" (traces finger along Death's chest) "I have ideas." lord death: ...... o/////////////////////o Yumi: "You have ideas right now, too?~" -elsewhere- Killbell: "When does the baby come out of the Snake Witch?" milia: *shrug* Ponera: "How many months are you, Medusa?" (knitting baby clothes) medusa: 4 months now. Ponera: "You are glowing! You look far cuter rather than menacing now!" shaula: and a whooole lot fatter. medusa: fuck you shaula. Ponera: "Shaula, be kind. The baby needs that extra weight to survive!" shaula: >3> Ponera: "???" -elsewhere- Patty: "Hey, Iris! Do you have a moment?" iris: hmm? sure, what is it? Patty: "Shinra and Cutie-Patootie Arthur seemed a little on edge today. What's up with them?" iris: i dont know. but i am worried. perhaps i could ask them? Patty: "Yeah, I would say so. Need any help?" iris: dont worry, i'll handle it. Patty: "Good luck!" (pat on the back) Arthur: "Oh, Iris, it's good to s--" (freezes, gasps at seeing Patty) "Oh no! -after school- Arthur: "..." shinra: do we tell them or what? Arthur: "L-Let's try Commander Obi alone...Maybe see him in his office?" shinra: sounds good.... *They approach his office and knock* Akitaru: "Come in!" shinra: hey commander. Akitaru: "Howdy! What's up?" shinra: ..... *nudges arthur* Arthur: "Tamaki!" Akitaru: "...Um...Arthur, I know you're worried about her, but trust me, I'm sure she is safe. Right, Shinra?" shinra: she's definitely safe. Arthur: "...And closer than you think..." Akitaru: "...No. No. Guys, no. No. Please tell me 'no.'" shinra:..... *nervous smile+sweats* Arthur: "...Sorry." Akitaru: "..." (stands up, goes to wall--and taps his forehead against it) "Burns is going to kill me." shinra:....... Akitaru: "What were you two thinking?!" shinra: arthur was the one who let her in. Arthur: "Sh-She had been locked up for weeks! She wants to transfer! She can't stand Burns! Sir, please! You have to help her!" Akitaru: "...She in your room? Take me there." shinra:...... *They arrive at the door* Arthur: "..." (does a complicated knock as code to Tamaki) tamaki: ye-....!!!! Akitaru: (eyebrow raise) Arthur: "H-Hi?" tamaki: *she jumps back with claws* just stay back! Akitaru: (steps back) "Easy. Just here to talk." tamaki:............ Akitaru: "...Why did you leave the 1st, Soldier?" tamaki:........... Akitaru: "...Burns, huh?" -perhaps talking to her as a person than a soldier might help? she seems upset- Akitaru: "...Tamaki, do you know why I came to the 8th?" tamaki:.....didnt you start this branch? Akitaru: "Yeah. And do you know how many times I wanted to run away from it?" Arthur: "?!" tamaki:.............. Akitaru: "I wanted to run from being a firefighter, run from being commander here...run from my responsibilities." (pulls out a piece of paper) "Read this." tamaki:..... *she looks at it* *APPLICATION TO THE 8TH BRIGADE* tamaki:.........i-i'll consider it..... Akitaru: "Please do. An adult doesn't run away from their responsibilities..." (smiles) "...but sometimes you just adjust how you address those responsibilities." tamaki:....do you mind if i stay here a while? Akitaru: "Sure thing! So, you've been sleeping in Arthur's bed?" tamaki: i've been in the closet! shinra: in a sleeping bag. Akitaru: "Okay, okay!" (laughs) "But I think we better let the others know--and swear them to an oath of secrecy." Arthur: o\\\\\o shinra: sounds good. tamaki: please dont let burns or the others know i'm here... *The meeting begins* Hibana: "...Are you fucking kidding me?" maki: awww, how sweet. Takahisa: "...I'm telling Burns." (stands up) Akitaru: "?!" Hibana: > : ( *Who will stop Takahisa?* iris: wait! Takahisa: "???" nozomi: cant you see she's been put through enough, where's your sympathy?! Takehisa: "We have rules. Rules are meant to be followed." Hibana: (eyeroll) nozomi: but what's more important, rules or morality? isnt it our job to help people in need? Takehisa: "Hmph. I fail to see the problem of Burns's conduct. When I was a child I--" (pauses, thinks...eyes get wet, shivers) "N-Nevermind. She can stay. Temporarily. A week at most. Maybe a month." maki:...... tamaki: thanks, i want to stay here at least until things cool down at the 1st. Takehisa: "S-So we're in agreement? Good."

Death the Kid: Akitaru: "Make it official. Show of hands to keep Tamaki's presence here a secret?" Arthur: (raises his hand) Takehisa: (trembling as he raises his) Hibana: (raises hers--and pulls up Gab's) maki: yep. iris: of course. shinra: i'm in. nozomi:... yes. Akitaru: (raises his) "Just leaves you..." (looks at Tamaki) tamaki:.... *she nods* yeah. Akitaru: "Great! Now, let's move you out of your love shack with Arthur and Shinra and into another room." tamaki: oh shush.... nozomi: she could stay in my room for now. Akitaru: "Super! Tamaki, need help moving?" tamaki: i can fit most of my stuff into my bag, so i think i can manage. Akitaru: "Okay, then. Well, get moved, and we'll get to making dinner. What do you like?" -later- Arthur: "H-How do you feel about all of this?" tamaki: a lot better. at least i dont have to sneak around anymore... but if anyone comes at the door, i'll have to hide. Arthur: (nods, takes her hand) "We're not giving up on you, Tamaki." tamaki:.....thanks. Arthur: "..." (leans closer) tamaki: ah.... Arthur: "Would you...I mean could I...k-ki-kiss you?" tamaki: .//////////. Arthur: (pulls back) "S-Sorry. We don't h-h-have to." tamaki: it's fine. Arthur: "..." (keeps holding her hand) -elsewhere- Kid: (whistling) stocking: surprise.....HUG ATTACK!~<3 Kid: "Ah!" (laughs) "Hey, there, Love!" stocking: hehe~ Kid: "...I love you." stocking: i love you too, babe. Kid: (smirks) "Wait 'til you see your Christmas gifts." stocking: oho~? Kid: "But you'll have to wait until Christmas." (boops her nose) stocking: hehe~<3 Kid: "Maybe you want a little treat before Christmas?~" stocking: like what~? Kid: (whispers in her ear) "I hid a dessert in the kitchen...and I could give you a little something else later..." -later- Kid: (patting a napkin to her lips) "You devoured that so quickly..." stocking: mmmmmn~ Kid: "You enjoyed it, my sweet?" stocking: you know it~ Kid: (smiles) "You are so...attractive." (spots something) "But you still have a little frosting there..." (points at her cheek...as he leans and licks off the frosting) stocking: ah! *bluuuush* Kid: (smirks) "So cute when you blush..." stocking: *blush* Kid: "..." (leans in) "You also have beautiful eyes." stocking: you too. Kid: (puts an arm around her waist) "What now?" -elsewhere- Yohei: (knocks on door) "Chie? Time for dinner." chie: ok. Yohei: "Feel okay?" chie: yeah. why wouldnt i be? Yohei: "It's just, I know that some bleedings take a lot of energy out of you." chie: .......y-yeah. but i'm alright. Yohei: "..." (nods) "Well, I hope dinner is good...Tried something different..." chie: ah. -elsewhere- Solence: (shivering) "I-I gave you enough gas to power this place for a month! What else do you want from me?!" ???: you're still being held here for....research purposes. Solence: "...I-I've seen the kind of 'research' you do..." ???: besides, we cant have this going public, now can we~? Solence: "...You're going to kill me, aren't you?" ???: oh no no no, you're too valuable an asset to just kill off. Solence: "No one is making me feel like I'm not going to die! What do you want with me?!!" -elsewhere- Wes: "I had a good time, Liz." liz: me too. Wes: "I-I had something else I wanted to give you..." liz: oh? Wes: (removes a small box to hand to her) "I thought these would look nice...If not, no worries..." liz: *blush* *Inside are small silver earrings* liz: aw wes, these are so nice, thanks. Wes: "Thanks. I was hoping since, you know, silver looks good on you." liz: *she smiles* Wes: "Thanks also for coming out. I've loved spending time with you." liz: no problem. Wes: "Well, we're here...See you tomorrow?" liz: sure thing. Wes: "..." (awkward hug) liz: ....*hug* Wes: (kiss on the cheek, then pulls back, letting his hands slide gently along her arms as he pulls back) -later- Kid: (holds Stocking, kisses her cheek) stocking: mmmmm that felt nice. Kid: "Agreed..." (chuckles) "We're only getting better." stocking: *she smiles* i see you've been taking lessons from those books i lent you~<3 Kid: (pats her bottom, then massages it) "It's been informative. Wouldn't you say so?" stocking: indeed. hehe~ Kid: (puts his arms around her, drawing her nearer as he faces her) "How many years has it been since our first date?" stocking: about 2-3? Kid: (blushes a bit) "I-I remember being so nervous during our first time." stocking: i do too. Kid: "..." (holds her hand, rubs it) "Thank you for your patience with me." (brings her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss) stocking: *she kisses him too* Kid: (hugs her) "Stocking, you feel so warm." stocking: mmmmm~ Kid: (kisses her lips softly) -the next day- Kid: (finishing waffles) "How many do you all want?" -at school- Arthur: (tapping his finger on the desk) justin: and that concludes today's lesson. Tezca: (asleep in the front row) Arthur: (puts away his books) "Some lesson..." kirara: -_-; Tezca: "Zzzz..." Arthur: (pulls out his phone) [ShiningKnight: hey] [TaMeowKi: sup ^^] [ShiningKnight: classes pretty boring right now, esp w/o you here] [TaMeowKi: ah.] [ShiningKnight: how about i pick something up for you after school? want anything?] [TaMeowKi: not sure.] [ShiningKnight: food? books? dvds?] [TaMeowKi: i can have oubi order something :3] Arthur: (smiles..."So cute...") [ShiningKnight: okay. i'll see you when i get home <3] -at lunch- Patty: "Cute earrings, Sis!" liz: thanks, wes gave them to me last night. Kid: (smiles) "That was thoughtful. They do look good." liz: *she smiles* Patty: "What're you two up to today? Going out?" -elsewhere- Kepuri: "Hmph." ??: so any progress? Kepuri: "Sort of. Security is tighter here than I thought." ??: how so? Kepuri: "Whoever they have in their IT department here keeps adjusting the parameters each time. My brain is struggling just to keep up." (sips on coffee) "Ugh, tension headache." ??: oh really? Kepuri: "Yeah, really. But I have an idea. It just means getting an interview with DWMA IT." -elsewhere- Yumi: (staring at a letter, sweating) "Oh no..." lord death: is everything ok? Yumi: "I-I don't know. It's from someone claiming to be family..." lord death: ?? Yumi: "..." (hands the letter to Death) "Try to find out who is sending this..." lord death: of course. *he kisses her forehead* Yumi: (holds him, shivering) -meanwhile- Patty: "Well, classes are done! Where to?" stocking: how about the mall? Kid: "More holiday shopping would help. Liz, will you be joining us?" liz: *she nods* *At the mall* Kid: (passes by one shop...blushes a bit) stocking: ?? Kid: "S-So, maybe we should venture over there!" (points in the direction *away from the lingerie store*) stocking: ok. Kid: ("Thank goodness I already finished shopping there..." points to record store) "I think Mother could use some new songs for Christmas." -elsewhere- Shotaro: "Mana, Yohei told me we're doing Dokeshi hide and seek throughout Death City this weekend. Where should I hide?" mana: *whispers* Shotaro: "Oooooooh! Good one! Thanks!" -later- Patty: (sipping on her drink) "Any plans for you happy couples this weekend?" stocking: perhaps we could do a double date? Kid: (smiles) "I'd like that. Liz?" liz: i'll ask. Kid: (smiles) "Maybe go to a club?" stocking: sounds fun. Kid: "Any recommendations, Liz?" liz: i know this really cool place called 'the tomb' Kid: "Oh, rather gothic, I take it?" liz: i guess. stocking: ooooh. *shiny eyes* Kid: (chuckles) "I think that's three for the Tomb. And given Wes's time around ghosts, I doubt he'll turn down this opportunity to see Death Children activities in person." -and so- Yohei: "Hmmm...I do have two faint blips in Death City. Mana, you sure Shotaro hid like I told him to?" mana: *she nods* Yohei: "Hmmm...This signal is closer, so I'll follow it. You coming or have somewhere else to be?" mana: *she follows* Yohei: "Hmmm..." *Yohei and Mana follow the signal down a few streets until arriving at...* Yohei: "...You have to be kidding me." -there is a playground, where aimi is playing- Yohei: (checks his Dokeshi Watch) "Hmmm...Wonder whether Shotaro or Chie are actually here. Or we got another Dokeshi around here." aimi: ~? ah! big bro yohei! *hugs his leg* Yohei: (blushing) "H-Hey, kiddo...Um, how are you?" aimi: good. i'm in a new school now and made lots of new friends. Yohei: "That's good. You've been behaving in school?" aimi: *she nods* Yohei: (pats her head) "Good. Hey, have you seen that girl I was with when we first met you and your father?" aimi: hmmmm.....no. just big sis minori. she's not really my sister, she's just looking after me while daddy's at work. Yohei: "Okay. Well, at least this watch found you. I guess that's something." aimi: woooow. -elsewhere- Arthur: (smiles) tamaki: mmmm~ thanks for the lunch. Arthur: "You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it." maki: how do you like the octo sausages? tamaki:...cute i guess. 7///7 Arthur: *awkward cough* "So...um, anything we else we can do for you?" tamaki: i'm good for now. i should learn to make better bentos. iris: Q.Q shinra: *pats her back* Arthur: "You okay, Iris?" iris: *nod* -iris is sad because she almost burnt the whole kitchen to a crisp- Arthur: "...Maybe we can cook with you, Iris?" iris: i-i appreciate it. ^^ Arthur: (smiles) "Hey, Tamaki, how are your cooking skills?" tamaki: i can cook....to an extent..... i can use a microwave and make small snacks. Takehisa: (eyeglasses shine) "Then perhaps I need to teach you all how to actually cook..." (sinister grin) everyone: *sweats* Arthur: "...Oh, look at the time! Tamaki and I have a thing!" (grabs her hand, runs) shinra: 0-0; Takehisa: "...Well, I'll just have to take on other students..." (stares at Shinra) -meanwhile- Black Star: (high-pitched scream) soul: dude, whats wrong?! Black Star: "Something just popped up out of the dumpster!" soul: ?!?! ???: "Shhh...I'm hiding..." soul: *he peers in* Shotaro: "Hi." soul: gah! Shotaro: "Want some chips?" (holds up a half-eaten bag of chips) soul: im....good. Shotaro: (shrugs, munches) "Just don't tell Yohei." soul: you in trouble? Shotaro: "No, just hiding so he can test his new watch." soul: ah. *bing bing bing* soul: ?? Yohei: "He's close, Mana..." mana: hmm? oh, hey it's those two other guys from the tournament. soul: hey we have names you know. Yohei: "Oh, hey, Soul." Black Star: (fuming that Yohei and Mana don't know his name) mana: oh yeah, you're 'Hei-Xing' right? Black Star: (frowns) "Black Star. Just Black Star, regardless what language it's in." (smiles, then poses) "And I see that in any language, I am still a phenomenon whose name transcends all tongue!" (bishi sparkle) mana: -_-; Yohei: "Yeah, great." (glances at the dumpster) "So, Mana, I'm betting on it being Shotaro in that dumpster, not Chie." mana: *whistling* Shotaro: (from the dumpster) "There's no one in this dumpster. Not at all." Yohei: "..." (looks at Mana's soft drink--snatches it, opens the dumpster, dumps its contents into the dumpster) Shotaro: "Hey!" mana: D : < Shotaro: (emerges) "Darn...I thought this was a great hiding place." (looks at Soul, then at Yohei) "Wait, Yohei, since when did you have a brother?" mana: this is the guy from the tournament, soul. soul: hey. Shotaro: "Oooooh..." (looks at Black Star) "So...you like comics?" Black Star: "...Charisma Justice?" Shotaro: "Hell yeah! Justice Blade!" *Black Star and Shotaro start a Justice Blade dance-off* soul: *sweatdrop* -elsewhere- Patty: (holds up a dress for Liz) "How 'bout this one?" liz: it's nice, but it seems a bit too.....er....flashy. Patty: "What, you don't like something bright and shiny and showing off your goods?" liz: ehhh.... (thinking: i may as well be showing up in my underwear in that!) Patty: "Hmm..." (holds up something more modest but sleeveless) "And you could pair it with that cute jacket..." liz: that could work. *she smiles* Patty: (serious face) "How are things with Wes?" liz: doing pretty good. i think soul's been doing a lot better too. Patty: "That's good...You like Wes?" liz: of course i do. Patty: "...You two say you love each other?" liz: ./////////////////////. Patty: "Guess not." (pats her head) "All in good time, Lizzie." -and so, the day of the double date arrived- Kid: "You look gorgeous, Love." stocking: thanks. it was nice of patti to lend me something. Kid: (nods) "Looks great!" Wes: "Y-You look great, too, Liz. I like the jacket." liz: thanks ^^ Wes: "S-So, shall we go inside?" -they enter- stocking: woooow! Kid: "Ha ha ha!" Wes: o___o "This is...busy." liz: o-o Kid: (shouting over music) "Shall we get a drink or dance?" stocking: how about a few drinks? Wes: (struggling to shout) "Sounds good! Um, Liz? Is that good?" liz: *she nods* -a few patrons are dressed in gothic attire, one male has white face paint with dark eyes and 5 lines down his lips and chin- Kid: "What will you have, Stocking?" stocking: hmmmm... i think i'll have the bat wing special. Wes: "Oh, what's that one like?" -so they order their drinks- Wes: (sips) "Hmm...That's actually good." liz: not bad. Kid: (nods) "So, Liz, how many months have you two been dating now?" liz: well, i guess about.... since this august? Wes: (smiles) "I guess we'll be celebrating a four-month anniversary, then?" liz: i suppose. hehe. Wes: "What is best for that anniversary?" (Smirks) "Paper anniversary? Or jump straight to diamonds?" -elsewhere- Yohei: "Ugh...Mana, get Shotaro home...and give him a bath." mana: sure thing. -_-; chie: ^^; Shotaro: "Can it at least be a bubble bath? With toy dinosaurs?!" Yohei: (smiles at Chie) "Kids." chie: *she smiles* they sure are. Yohei: "...So..." chie: ?? Yohei: "Um...You hungry? Thirsty?" chie: i'm good for now. Yohei: "...When Mana's done with Shotaro, do you need a bath? ... I mean, not Mana giving you a bath. Or that you smell or anything. Just, do you need..." (pauses, deadpan) "Can I start over?" chie: i'll be good with a shower ^^; Yohei: "...Okay. I'll take one, too." -later- Kid: (yelling over music) "Want to dance?" Wes: (has had two glasses of Bat Juice, spaced out, smiles at Liz) "Thanks for bringing me here." -at the 1st HQ- ???: i think it went down here...hmm? the cellar?.....i know the nuns arent allowed down there but....*sigh* if he doesnt see he wont know, right? ???: "..." ???: *she looks around* no sign of him... ???: "Gah..." ???: *inhales* ok, you can do this ruby. just step down eeeeasy now- ????: SISTER RUBY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ruby: WACK! *she jumps back* ???: "..." ruby: ah! s-sister dia! it's just you. dia: *she tugs ruby's ear* you know we arent supposed to go down there, only those with the clarification are allowed in that cellar. ruby: i know, but the guys lost their soccer ball down there. ???: (clawing) dia: ....i'll ask one of the three fathers to retrive it, they have proper clearance. ruby: ok then. -another sister, with short purple hair and blinding bangs, overhears- ????: ......... ???: "Help..." ruby: ?? are you ok? dia: dont bother. it's not our business.... ???: "Please...Stop..." ruby:..... dia: come now, we shouldnt dawdle around here. pearl you come too. pearl: *the purple haired girl* ah! r-right..... -at the 8th- Arthur: (pats Tamaki's shoulder) tamaki: *playing cards with the girls* nyeah? Arthur: (smiles) "Having fun?" tamaki: *she nods* i dont get to play games like this often at the 1st. iris: *she looks at the door* sister's been rather busy with her meeting with the commander. shinra: what do you think they're talking about? tamaki: probably boring grown up stuff. Arthur: "Hmmm...Maybe the next move regarding what happened at the 5th?" shinra: maybe.... iris: hmmm.... *puts a hand on her cheek where her scar is* tamaki: .... !! woah, where did you get that? iris:.................... shinra: it's.....a long story. Arthur: "..." Hibana: (heard in Akitaru's office) "Hmph." shinra:...... *he presses his ear against the door* Akitaru: "Look, Princess--" Hibana: (slams hand on desk) "You big ape!" shinra:...... *listening* Akitaru: "I told you not to call me that!" Hibana: "Could say the same to you! What part of 'not a good idea' will you not hear?!" shinra: ??? (thinking: _what's_ not a good idea?) Akitaru: (sighs) "Look...J-Just give it some thought. It may help us to finally--" Hibana: "Fine!" (pushes the door open) shinra: *knocked to the floor* ow....ok.... that hurt. iris: ah!! Hibana: "?! What the hell?!" shinra: i wasnt listening to anything i didnt hear a thing..... i'll get the shovel again. Hibana: (smiles sweetly) "No, that won't be necessary..." (EVIL SMILE) "The force of my kick will knock you six feet into the ground." shinra: *sweats* (thinking: mother save me.) Akitaru: "Hey, come on, Princess. He was just--" Hibana: (roundhouse kick at Akitaru) "Stop calling me Prince--!" Akitaru: "!!!" (catches her leg) "Hey! Don't--" (knocked down) iris: waaah, please stop! Q-Q maki: ok, everyone chill out. what's the problem? Hibana: (trying to stomp Akitaru) Akitaru: (trying to hold her leg up) "Just a plan--OW!--to deal with Burns--OW!" maki: oh? gabriella: princess i brought your coffee-..... what did he this time? Hibana: "Just walk in and think we can grab the 1st's material for blackmail?! Are you nuts?!" (aims for his crotch) Akitaru: (struggling to hold) "Would one of you help me?!" maki: ok time out everyone, let's start from the beginning. Hibana: "...Fine." Akitaru: (sits up) "Why is Burns so cagey? We need evidence to find out the answer-- shinra: answer? Akitaru: "To a lot of questions...Because I've seen people mourning. That's not what Burns is doing." iris:......... tamaki:...................... Hibana: "You seriously want to make enemies of the 1st? When they learn Tamaki is here, what do you think will happen?' tamaki: !!!! Akitaru: "And if we want to protect her, we need something on Burns!" Arthur: (puts a hand on Tamaki's shoulder) tamaki: w-what are you planning.... Akitaru: "You know what Burns is like: we'll need you to tell us how to get to him, get past him, get past your colleagues in the 1st, and find whatever is hidden in that division." tamaki: after what happened recently, i feel like i hardly know him.... Akitaru: "...What gets under his skin?" tamaki: insubordination for one... Akitaru: "Hmm...Difficult to get more insubordinates in his organization." Hibana: (eyeroll) "Maybe we can predict his work schedule and infiltrate his place while he's out." shinra: hmmm..... Akitaru: "And since sending Tamaki back as a mole inside the 8th is not an option, we need something else...Don't suppose any of you want to transfer over there? Hibana? Takehisa? Maki?" nozomi: i'll go. they dont know about my joining here... Akitaru: "Great!" Hibana: "Wait--you sure about this, kid?" nozomi: *she nods* Hibana: "I-I don't like this. Kid, if you find yourself in any trouble, you bolt, got it?" nozomi: ok. Akitaru: "Come on--let's get you packed, Nozomi." Arthur: "...I don't like this...sending a princess into the dragon's pit." nozomi: i'll be ok, dont worry. Arthur: "..." Hibana: "..." Akitaru: (smiling widely) "Great!" -back at the club- Wes: (dancing with Liz) "You move great..." liz: thanks....hmmm....seems kid and stocking wandered off... Wes: "...Yes. Yes, they have." ("...Oh boy...") -elsewhere in the club- Kid: (grunts) stocking: *muffled moans* Kid: (whispers) "God, Stocking..." (spanks her backside) stocking: mmmn~! Kid: "You like that, don't you?" (slides his hands under the dress, cupping her breasts) stocking: mmmmn~<3 Kid: (moaning as he kisses along her neck) "How far you want to go?" stocking: i want to be begging for it by the time we head home~ Kid: "Maybe I could help with that..." (his hand slides down her backside and around...) -meanwhile in the other closet- arachne: 0-0;;; Giriko: "...Um, am I doing it wrong?" arachne: n-no, i just didnt think the reaper boy would be bringing his girlfriend here..... Giriko: "Yeah...Um, does it turn you on?" arachne: -_-; arachne: if he sees me..... Giriko: "...Want to get out of here?" arachne: after they leave.... Giriko: "...How you want to pass the time?" -later- Kid: (adjusting his shirt) stocking: ahhh.... U/////U Kid: (smiles) "You sound like you enjoyed yourself..." (kisses her neck) stocking: ah~ *blush* Kid: "Are we not finished?" (hand goes down again her again) "Or do you need an encore?" stocking: *siiigh* a-at home.... we can finish. Kid: (moans) "Damn. That is going to be a challenge, Love." -elsewhere, later- Yohei: (typing) chie: -playing bejeweled on her phone- Shotaro: (poking Tuhl with pretzel stick) mana: so what's tomorrow’s game plan? Yohei: "I need a day off from this watch, so I'll back to fixing it Tuesday. Hmmm...Want to go out?" mana: how about we all check out the arcade? Tuhl: (shoves pretzel up Shotaro's nose) "Cool." Yohei: (chuckles) "Arcade then tomorrow." -the next morning- Kid: (sighs) stocking: zzzz..... Kid: (hugs her in her sleep, smiles) stocking: mmmmm....~<3 Kid: "Feel good?" stockng: *yaaawn* y-yeah. Kid: "God, Stocking...I've never gone that far outside of a bedroom...or a hot tub...or a pool..." stocking: hehe~<3 Kid: "...Where have you wanted to do it?" stocking: well, one part of me has always wanted to do it in a dressing room... Kid: (runs a finger along her chest) "I'm game whenever you are..." stocking: ah~ *she chuckles* Kid: (pulls her close, kisses her chest) -at school- Patty: "How was Wes last night, Sis?" liz: great. we had a wonderful time, thanks for coming with us kid. stocking: aw, no problem. *she smiles* Kid: "Yes, it was great!" (Smiles at Stocking) Patty: "...I bet. So, up for another double date in the future?" stocking: i could be convinced~ *she winks at kid* Kid: (chuckles) "Yes." -in class- Stein: "Shinra, homework?" shinra: here you go, sir. Stein: "How did it go?" shinra: it went well, sir. Stein: "Good, because I need a favor..." shinra: ??? Stein: "I want you to tutor a difficult student." shinra: oh? Black Star: "Hi, new tutor!" shinra: oh...hey. (thinking: i was half expecting kure...) ((in shinra's imagination spot; kirika: fuck fuckity fucker fuck!)) Black Star: "I need help with mastering controlling my wavelength." shinra: uh....i'm not sure how to do that either ^^; Black Star: "Really? But you look so wimpy that I thought you were exerting control over yourself." shinra: !! -cartoon arrow goes through shinra's chest that reads 'wimpy'- oh....really now? Black Star: "Yeah! Hey, what's your max on bench pressing?" shinra:................*curls up into a ball of sadness* wimpy.....wimpy...... Black Star: "...Doc? I broke another tutor!" soul: niiiiice. Stein: "Take Shinra to the physician before I fail you both." soul: yes sir! Black Star: "I can get him to infirmary faster!" (Runs with Shinra--into a wall) -later- Kid: "Stocking..." stocking: hmm? what is it? Kid: (whispers in her ear) "Thank you again for last night." stocking: no problem~ Kid: (whispering again) "Maybe, another time, we could try...somewhere else." (points to a school closet) stocking: sounds a bit risky... Kid: (smirks, whispers) "Makes it more fun." (pulls back, louder) "But I understand." (holds her hand) "I'm just happy being right here, right now with you." stocking: *she smiles* Kid: (whispers) "But I must admit, since that dance club, I have felt far more...amorous than usual." stocking: *she kisses his nose* you are a cute little dork you know that? Kid: (blushes) "Y-Yeah, I am..." stocking: hehe~ Kid: "When we get home..." -elsewhere- Shotaro: (playing against Mana on a video game) mana: *pressing buttons.* >:p Shotaro: (trying to attack Mana) "You can't beat me! I got my stats up to the max!" mana: BS. Yohei: (studying an arcade machine) "Hmm...Retro." chie: so...how do i make it work? Yohei: (hands her laser gun) "When the zombies pop up on the TV screen, aim and fire. To re-load, point off the TV screen and fire again." chie: um...ok.... *gulp* *PLAYER 1 AND PLAYER 2: GET READY TO GO ZOMBIE HUNTING* *Zombie pops up on screen* Yohei: "Fire!" chie: EEK! *shooting* *She missed--Zombie approaches* Yohei: (blast) *Yohei has destroyed Zombie, saving Chie. 250 points* chie: *pouts* Yohei: "You'll get the next one. Try that one--he's slow and slobbering." chie: o-ok.... *Slobbering Zombie approaches Chie slowly* chie: *shoots* *Chie destroyed Zombie: 100 points* chie: i-i did it! *Another Zombie pops up on screen* Zombie: "BLARG!" chie: *SCREAMS AND SHOOTS* *Chie blasted Zombie's arm off: 50 points. Zombie keeps approaching* chie: Q-Q *shooting* *Zombie lunges forward* chie: AHHHH!!! *tosses the gun, which bounces off the screen* Yohei: "...That was not effective." *Yohei does head-shot: 1,000 points for Yohei, -40 points for Chie* chie: Q~Q Yohei: (holds her hand...and puts the gun back in it. He keeps holding) "Let me show you have to fire." (he walks behind her, aiming the gun for her in a near-hug) chie: o///////o Yohei: (whispers in her ear) "This weapon is an extension of yourself...Treat the scope as your own eye...Look through it clearly." chie: o-ok... *she inhales and takes aim* -the zombie is shot through the chest- Yohei: (smiles) "Nice work." (he still has his arms around her) chie: thanks. *she smiles* Yohei: (realizes how close he is, slowly pulls back) "Well...Up for Round 2?" -elsewhere- Wes: "I think it went pretty well." soul: ah... Wes: "...I like Liz. A lot. I'm just...I'm not used to..." soul: ?? Wes: "...I haven't dated someone for this long. I'm at a bit of a loss." soul: i'm not sure what to tell you... Wes: "No, it's fine--I just...it helps to talk about it, you know?" soul: *he nods* i guess i'm kinda jealous..... Wes: "..." (puts a hand on Soul's shoulder) soul: ..........i miss her..... Wes: (nods) "...Have you...been to the cemetery recently?" soul: i might do that today. Wes: "...Want to go on your own? Or would you like me to come with you?" soul: i'll be ok. see ya. -at the graveyard- soul: yeah, and that's what's been happening recently.... *Slight wind, shaking the bare limbs of the trees* soul: it's getting colder out.... *Bird chirps on one branch* soul: ........ maybe i'll see you in that dream world.......well, a guy can hope, right? *The bird flies--and one of its feathers falls down, onto Soul's head* soul: ........ heh.... *he keeps it.* *That Night* soul: zzzzz....... ???: "Soul?" soul: ??? maka? is that you? *Maka emerges* Maka: "Hey." soul: *he hugs her* this is nice.... Maka: (eyes wide, blushing) "Well, that's abrupt!" (smiles, hugs him back) soul: *he smiles, nuzzling his head a bit* Maka: (strokes her hand through his hair, humming) "You're so warm." soul: so, anything new with you? i-in the afterlife.....no offense.... Maka: (smirks) "We finally got cable." soul: oh? Maka: (giggles) "I'm kidding!" (pulls back, holds his hand) "Soul...It is a little difficult to describe this world. It defies reality." (rubs his hand) "I miss something more...concrete." soul:..... *trembling* Maka: "Soul? What's wrong?" soul: i miss you.....a lot..... Maka: "..." (kisses his lips) soul: !!!!!!! o///o Maka: (pulls back quickly, blushing) "S-Sorry...I just...I mean..." (covers her face with her hands) soul: ah...i-it's fine..... Maka: "..." (goes back to holding his hand, staring at him, biting her lip a bit) soul: it....felt nice... Maka: "Yeah..." (leans closer) "I would like..." soul: *smooch* Maka: o\\\\\o (then closes her eyes, leaning into the kiss) soul: U//////U Maka: "Mmm...Soul..." soul: *he pulls back for breath* f-feels warm.... Maka: "Y-Yeah...Felt...really good..." soul: t-that was the first time i ever really kissed a girl.... Maka: "Same...I mean, first time really kissing a guy..." soul: yeah...haha.... Maka: "..." (Kisses his cheek, then towards his lips) soul: *blush* Maka: "Soul..." (Kisses his cheek) "I wanted to kiss you for so long." soul: .//////////////////////////////////////////////////////. i-i-i-i-i-.... *steam is coming out of his ears* Maka: (snort, giggles) "You still look so goofy when you blush." soul: oh shush....heh, fat ankles. Maka: (Smirks) "Sharp toothed hamster..." (Brushes along his lips) soul: *he chuckles and smiles* aw come on, you're cute when your mad. Maka: (Smiles) "As cute as you?" -in the morning- *knock knock* ???: "Soul?" soul: zzzzzzzz........... Wes: "Soul? You awake?" soul: *yawn* murnin..... Wes: "Hey. Thanks for letting me stay overnight. But don't you have classes?" soul: ah! right! -at school- Black Star: "You look rested, buddy. Sleep okay?" soul: yeah, you could say that. Black Star: "Hey, does my breath stink?" soul: *shrug* Black Star: "Kid, smell my breath!" Kid: (hides behind Liz) sayaka: i volunteer as tribute! Black Star: "Thanks! Okay. Get ready!" sayaka: *she pries his mouth open and sniffs* Black Star: D: "Gaaaaaah?" kilik: sayaka what the fuck?! 0-0; Kid: o_o Patty: "Stick your head in his mouth!" sayaka: hmmm..... syrup with a hint of butter.... did you have pancakes this morning? madoka: o-o; Black Star: "Yeah! Incredible!" -later- Arthur: (giggling as he's texting) mio: he seems busy. Arthur: "Just chatting with Tamaki. :3 " shinra: *COVERS HIS MOUTH* Arthur: "???" shinra: can i talk to you a moment? Arthur: "...Okay?" -in the hall, where no one can hear- shinra: you shouldnt just talk so carelessly like that. *whispers* need i remind you that someone is being kept in hiding? Arthur: "I know, I know--I just got excited." shinra: i know....just try to keep cool about it, ok? Arthur: (nods) "Sorry." -later, after school- Kid: (hugs Stocking) stocking: hehe~ well arent you just affectionate~? Kid: (smiles) "Indeed. What would you like to do now?" stocking: just stay in and relax. there's supposed to be some snow coming in tomorrow... Kid: "Oh, I guess that may mean snowball fights and shoveling this week?" stocking: yeah, hehe~ Kid: "Maybe heat up the hot tub..." stocking: oho~? Kid: (whispers) "Would that sound good? Maybe...in a new bikini I _may_ have bought you?" stocking: o///o Kid: (whispers) "I hope you like it~" stocking: ./////////////////. Kid: (pats her shoulder) "You keep blushing like that, and you'll lose all your blood. Let's head home." stocking: yeah. *she smiles* -Later- shinra: we're back! Arthur: "Hey!" maki: welcome back guys. Akitaru: "Shinra, help Takehisa with dinner. Arthur, Tamaki wanted to talk with you." shinra: yes sir. Arthur: "...Tamaki?" tamaki: oh. hey arthur. Arthur: "Hi. How has today been?" tamaki: good. just playing games on my 3ds... Arthur: "Which one has been the most fun?" tamaki: youkai village and dead harvest. Arthur: "...Need a Player 2?" tamaki:....do you have youkai village? if so, we can do multi player mode. Arthur: (nods) "Yeah." (pulls out a 3DS) -later, elsewhere- Yohei: (nudges Chie) "See? You aren't a bad shot." chie: *she smiles* i still have to get used to it though... Yohei: "Practice is all you can do. Now then, what next?" chie: well, the kid's have done their stuff. maybe we could spend the night out? Yohei: "Oh. Yeah, that would be good. Anything in mind?" chie: maybe dinner? Yohei: "Cool. Got a place in mind or a style of food to get?" chie: perhaps~ Yohei: "...So, would this be informal or formal dining?" -later, at higanbana's- Yohei: "Heh. Not bad." chie: i heard good things about it. Yohei: (looks at her) chie: -in a simple red dress with her hair down- Yohei: (in a suit jacket, jeans, and a buttoned shirt) "That dress new?" chie: yeah. i bought it after work. Yohei: "You look great." chie: thanks. you too. Yohei: (smiles) "Thanks...I don't know how often I see you in red. It works for you." chie: *she smiles* Yohei: (opens his menu) "What are you thinking about ordering?" -meanwhile- Kid: (smiles) stocking: *humming* Kid: "Stocking...Would you like some hot chocolate?" stocking: sure. *Two cups of hot chocolate prepped and served* Kid: "I also made sure to include the little marshmallows." stocking: *smiling+smooches his cheeks* Kid: (blushing) "Y-You're welcome." -meanwhile- Yohei: "How is your meal?" chie: it was nice. Yohei: "Yeah, the food here was well-done. They cooked it to just the degree I wanted it done...Chie?" chie: hmm? Yohei: "...You want to go somewhere and dance for a bit?" chie: um....sure, sounds like fun. *At a nightclub* Yohei: "You dance great." chie: you arent too bad yourself. Yohei: (smiles, takes her hand and twirls her) chie: *smiling* Yohei: (continues dancing) "Woo! Need a drink?" chie: sure. Yohei: "Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?" chie: non. Yohei: (nods) *One non-alcoholic lemon-lime soda and one bottle of Guinness later* chie: easy now. Yohei: (chuckles) "I can handle my alcohol. Built up tolerance to it." chie: so, did you want to head home? Yohei: (nods) "Yeah, the dance floor looks a little crowded..." (takes off jacket, puts it on Chie) chie: .///. y-yeah.. Yohei: (opens the door for her as they step out) "It'll be snowing soon." chie: yeah... Yohei: "...What's your favorite season?" chie: hmm? well, i suppose the colder weather is nice. Yohei: "Yeah, the snow looks...beautiful. And sad." chie:....... Yohei: "I think I like spring. Not as cold, but not so hot. I hated trying to do computer programming without air conditioning." chie: *she chuckles* really? Yohei: "Yeah. Computers already heat up the room enough, then to have no air conditioning and in summer? It got so bad that I--" chie: ?? Yohei: (blushing) "I had to type code in my boxers." chie: *snicker* Yohei: (blushing, clears his throat) "Y-Yeah, well, when you're too poor to buy A/C, you do what you can to finish your work. At least our place has central air." chie: yeah, haha Yohei: "...You warm enough now?" chie: yeah..... Yohei: "..." (brushes his hand along hers) chie: *blush* Yohei: "Chie...Could I hold your hand?" chie: oh....sure. Yohei: (holds her hand gently) chie:.... *she smiles* Yohei: (smiles back) "Any plans for tomorrow?" -elsewhere- saki:............................ NoFix: "Oh, God..." kinuta: haaa~ Haaaa~ NoFix: "You like that, huh?" saki:........................ NoFix: (whispers to Kinuta) "I put a camera into Robo-Chick over there..." kinuta: kinky. saki:.......................................................... NoFix: (massaging her breasts) "Wait until we watch this later. Just keep repeating that sexy moan of yours..." -in the hall- luka: -__________________-;;;; ugh. Solence: "Yuck. Just...yuck." luka: i'm gonna need some hard brew for this.... Solence: (does quick breathing exercise) "Oxygen is my coffee..." luka: ..... -crazed giggling could be heard down the hall- Solence: "Wh-What was that?!" luka: and for noriko, it would be injecting herself with that black blood..... Solence: "Injecting?!" luka: with a syringe, how else? Solence: "J-Just...creepy." noriko: hehehehehehehehe..... Asura: "..." heibito: zzzzzz....... Asura: (brushes hand along Heibito's head) "You wonderful babe...You will have a world that will love you...and if it does not, I will crush everyone who gets in your way." -the next morning- Yohei: "Zzz..." chie: zzzzz...... Shotaro: o_o Tuhl: o__o mana: what? Shotaro: "I-I'm confused...Are Chie and Yohei in the same room?" mana: i..i think so? Tuhl: "...I'll prepare the Holy Water." Shotaro: "So, are they going to make little baby Yoheis and little baby Chies?" mana: O////_____////O Yohei: "Mmmm..." *yawns* (moves his arm) chie: mmmm...... Yohei: (nuzzles against Chie...then wakes up) "Oh." chie: *yaawn* morning. Yohei: (smiles) "Hey. How are you feeling?" chie: good. *she smiles* you were great last night. mana: *JAWDROP* O_______________O Yohei: (laughs) "I aim to please. And you were amazing." chie: *she smiles* mana: O_________________________________O Yohei: "It's been a long time for me, and I appreciated your patience." chie: it was actually my first time doing something like that. Yohei: "For real? I-I'm sorry--I didn't think about...I mean...Are you okay?" chie: i'm fine, dont worry. *she smiles* Yohei: "I just didn't want to step on your toes or anything. I mean, two people trying to move around can cause some injuries." chie: yeah, haha. but i'm fine. Yohei: "I can't wait to do that again. Maybe when I feel a bit less sore." (sits up, stretches) "How about I bring you breakfast in bed?" chie: no, i can stand, dont worry. Yohei: (holds out a hand to her) "Ma'am?" -at school- Patty: "I love having the cold weather back. Plus, we don't have to bother going outside during gym." liz: *shivering* g-g-great.... Patty: "Maybe Wes can buy you a new coat~" liz: maybe... Kid: (looks over maps) "Hmm..." (tracing lines between where the Sages were found) "That leaves one last stop..." liz:.................?? Kid: "Finding that monster, and putting him down." liz:...right. stocking: ............ Kid: (holds Stocking's hand, smiles) stocking:......*she nods* Patty: (pointing along the map) "So we hit up all these places...What is it all leading to? Where do you think Medusa escaped to?" liz: beats me..... Kid: "Hmm...She tends to work by herself...but she did have sisters. What if she is trying to find one of their previous lairs?" liz: maybe, but baba yaga's castle is all in ruins.... Kid: "What about the other Gorgon Sister? What of her lairs?" liz: nothing known.... Kid: "...Maybe a little research would help. Or maybe sending investigation teams to Medusa's old lairs in case she has been back to them." liz: that may work... Kid: "I hope so. At the very least, it's something to do." (looks out window) "You know, aside from building snowmen." liz: yeah, haha. Patty: (holds up a brochure) "We could at least try this!" *POLAR BEAR CLUB* Patty: "You have to jump into freezing water in just your swimsuit!" -later- Kid: (places geography books back into his locker) "How do you feel, Stocking?" stocking: ok...... Kid: "..." (Puts a hand on her shoulder) "It's okay. It's going to be okay." stocking:.................. *she hugs him* Kid: (hugs her back, pats her back) stocking:........................... Kid: "Stocking, do you want to go to class? Or maybe we can skip?" stocking: w-we should go to class.... Kid: (nods, holds her hand) "Okay. Let's go." -later- Patty: (flipping through book) iris: *reading* Arthur: (trying to read, finally shutting off his phone to concentrate) shinra: .......... Kid: (taking notes, looking serious) kim:................. Jacqueline: (glances at Kim) tsugumi: it's terrible they were put through that.... Anya: (nods) Meme: "..." *sniff* mio:..... *pats her back* Meme: (nods, wipes her nose) -after school- Kid: "What should we do?" liz: for now, lets think of happier things... Patty: "Like giraffe burgers?" stocking: .....*small chuckle* Kid: (smiles) "Burgers and shakes sound good...only, let's hold the giraffe." Patty: (pouts) -and so- Kid: (sipping) "How is yours, Stocking?" stocking: good. *she smiles* Patty: (sipping on a caramel milkshake, then takes a bite of her bacon burger) "Ah...So good..." (points to Liz) "What flavor did you get?" liz: raspberry. Patty: "Cool!" (takes another bite of her burger) "I really like this--just getting to hang out, eat." Kid: (smiles, pats his lips with napkin) "Indeed." -elsewhere- Arthur: "I'm home." gabriella: she's in the shower. Arthur: "Oh...Um, okay. H-How are you, Gabriella?" gabriella: doing good. you? Arthur: "...A little sad Tamaki isn't with us at school." gabriella: ah... Arthur: "...How do you do it, Gabriella? Don't you feel cooped up in here?" gabriella: sometimes, but as long as i'm with hibana, it's worth it. Arthur: (smiles) "She's lucky to have you." Arthur: "Hey, I was wondering if you could help me with something, Gabriella." gabriella: hmm? Arthur: "Could you hide this in your room? I'm worried Shinra or Tamaki might find it in my room..." (pulls out a small giftwrapped box from his bookbag) "Tamaki was asking about a game, and I wanted to surprise her..." gabiella: sure. Arthur: (hands her the box) "Thanks. Don't worry, I'll give it to her this weekend, so you only need to hide it for a few days." gabriella: sure thing. Arthur: "Thanks. Well, I better get to homework. Later." -elsewhere- Yohei: (on balcony, smoking) chie: you warm enough? it's pretty chilly out.. Yohei: "Oh, hey...Yeah, I'm pretty cold." (he's in jeans and a t-shirt) "Just got lazy and didn't want to pull on a sweater before coming out for a quick smoke...which then turned into a long smoke. What about you--aren't you cold?" chie: considering i'm indoors.... Yohei: "...Want to step out and join me? Or should I finish this smoke and join you for some tea?" chie: the latter. Yohei: (puts out his cigarette on the ashtray, brings in the entire ashtray...winks at Chie as he enters) chie: .///. ~? Yohei: (bags the ashes and dumps them into his room's trash can) "What kind of tea you want? I bought a bunch today while you were out, so we got some chai, some green, black, whatever." chie: some chai sounds nice. Yohei: "Chai, it is." (brushes a hand along hers as he leads her to the kitchen) -elsewhere- Killbell: "What have we been doing? I thought you and the Ant Lady wanted me to do something." milia: we're being sent to attack the DWMA Sicily branch? Nals: "About time." (examines his rapier) "Feels like I've been sitting around doing nothing for weeks." shaula: what about us, ponny? Ponera: (petting her Alvin the Ant) "Stop calling me that. You know that I want those Fire-Ants ready to back up Nals, Milia, and Killbell." shaula: sure thing. glad the 5th is still sending supplies to my base and the grunts there send them to me. Ponera: "Indeed." (pets Alvin) "With those ants, the DWMA is going to burn." (looks around) "Hey, where is Medusa?" shaula: in bed. miserable. medusa: shaddaaaap TT~TT Ponera: "Hmmm..." (hands Alvin to Shaula) "I'll go see her..." Ponera: "Medusa, sweetie? May I be of any assistance?" medusa: i feel like shit! Ponera: "..." (puts back of her hand to her forehead) "Temperature?" medusa: cramps and shit, headaches, feeling bloated as FUCK! *crying* i hate iiiiitttt... Ponera: T_T "I'm sorry...Maybe some pain medicine, yes? And a warm cloth for your head?" medusa: *smiling* some tea would be nice~ Ponera: (smiles back) "Right away!" (scurries off) Killbell: (whispering to Shaula) "Snake Lady sounds mad." shaula: she's usually like that. Nals: "..." *Ponera returns with tea* Ponera: "Here you are!~" medusa: *chugs it* GACK HOT! Ponera: "!!! Sorry! I should've warned--" -elsewhere- Kid: (reading) stocking: zzzz..... Kid: "..." (looks at Stocking. "She has been through a lot today..." Strokes a hand along her hair out of her face) stocking: mmmmm.... *small smile* Kid: (smiles.) stocking: *nuzzle* Kid: "Stocking? Are you awake?" stocking: yeah? Kid: "Maybe we should go to bed?" stocking: yeah...night. Kid: (picks her up, taking her to their bed) "Stocking? I love you." stocking: i love you too kid..... thanks for being part of my life.... Kid: "Thank you for being part of my life." (kisses her forehead before setting her in their bed) "Get some good sleep." -the next morning- Patty: (finishing breakfast for Liz) "So, what are you and Wes doing this weekend?" -at school- Stein: (passing out papers) "You have ten minutes to finish these quizzes. If I catch anyone cheating, they will face a punishment worse than death." Kid: (smirks, whispers to Stocking) "I'm hardly _that_ bad." shinra: *focused* Arthur: (having to turn off his phone again) Black Star: (looking around..."Good. I can read off of one of these egghead's tests...) Stein: "Okay...Start!" shinra: *smiling because it's math class* Patty: (counting her fingers, to no avail) Kid: (glances at Stocking) stocking: *focused* Black Star: (looks over Ox's shoulder...) ox: *hella focused* Black Star: (writing down one of Ox's answers onto his test--) *SMACK!* ox: !!!! Black Star: *collapsed, bleeding* Stein: "I said 'No cheating.'" (looks around the room) "Any other volunteers?" -silence- Patty: "..." (dumps cheat sheets out of her puffy pants, starts answering questions vigorously) liz: O_O Stein: "...Good initiative, Miss Thompson. But you still are getting detention." Patty: "Damn it!" Kid: (struggling not to laugh) stocking: ...... *Time passes* Kid: (completes the test, flips it face-down, looks at Stocking) stocking: done. Kid: (smiles) Stein: "Two minutes left." Patty: (sweating, writing quickly) -later, at lunch- Kid: "How do you think you did?" stocking: well, i hope. Patty: (head in her hands) "Ugh..." liz: *pats her back* Kid: "I'm sure you did fine, both of you. Just, next time, no cheat sheets." Patty: "Ugh..." -later- Kid: (in gym outfit) "Darn..." liz: at least we're indoors... Kid: "Yes, but these short-shorts are annoying." stocking: ........................ Kid: (notices Stocking) "..." o\\\\\o stocking: !!!! *she looks down, blushing* Kid: (covering his crotch, as he looks at Stocking's...chest) stocking: .//////. Kid: "L-Let's just get on with basketball..." Patty: "Shirts versus skins?" (eyebrow wiggle) -later- Kid: (panting) "Good...Good workout." stocking: yeah................. Kid: "Well, I guess we'll hit the showers--separately." -after school- stocking: ................. Kid: "...S-Sorry..." stocking: it's fine...... Kid: "...Stocking, I...I mean, I..." stocking: ?? Kid: "I-I just think you are attractive. You are getting more and more beautiful each day." stocking: *blush* t-thanks.... Kid: "And you only get more attractive because you are such a wonderful, loving person. I love you." stocking: i love you too babe. Kid: "...Could we take a walk home? Just you and me?" stocking: of course. Kid: (holds her hand) "The trees look so different without leaves now." stocking: yeah.... Kid: "...When it snows, can we build a snowman?" stocking: sure. Kid: (smiles) "Do you have any ideas for this weekend?" stocking: i dunno. i think the winter carnival is coming up? Kid: "Ah, that should be fun!" (chuckles) "I think we could premiere our ugly Christmas sweaters for this year." stocking: yeah, haha. Kid: "...You look good in anything, Stocking." stocking: as do you~ especially those gym shorts~<3 Kid: (smirks) "Maybe I should wear those more often around the bedroom?" stocking: or less~ Kid: (chuckles) "Yes." (whispers) "You have no idea what I want to say to you right now. If only we were home..." -later- Yumi: "Death...Could you get me some more tea?" lord death: of course dearest~ Yumi: "Thanks." (looks at her abdomen) "Just two more months, Little one." lord death: there's a small presence....not quite a soul, more like a heat signature? Yumi: (smiles sadly) "I wish I could see her soul..." lord death: you will... Yumi: (hugs him) "Thank you..." -elsewhere- Yohei: "Good tea?" -elsewhere- kirika: ah....haaaah..... phew....good match. *stretching* Gopher: (applauds) kirika: ^^v justin: giriko? have you been feeling well? you seemed troubled. Giriko: "Y-Yeah. Just...Just thinking." ("Can we stay here? Are we even safe...?") justin: ...... kirika:..................... Giriko: "...What're you all staring at? I got something on my face?" kirika: nothin'. Giriko: "...Well, rest up. We spar again in five minutes. I'm going to warm up by wailing on Tiny over here." Gopher: "Wait, who's Tin--" Giriko: (noogies Gopher) Gopher: "I! Am! Not! Tiny!" (trying to remove himself) kirika: come on, you can worm your way outta this one! show some damn backbone! justin: ^^;; Gopher: "I said--let--go!" *KICK* Giriko: (high-pitched scream) Gopher: o^o; "...I'm going to die, aren't I?" Giriko: (high-pitched) "Oh, yeah!" -later- kirika: well, your running time has improved.... Gopher: (panting) "Think he will find me?" kirika: nah, he went home already.... Gopher: "Oh, thank god!" (hugs Kirika) kirika: h-hey! Gopher: o_o (lets go) "Sorry! Got excited." kirika: pheh....whatever......looks like that half-baked priest headed home too... Gopher: "...I'm scared to go home. I might be followed...Can I sleep on the couch?" kirika: ...i'll see if i can ask pops. Gopher: "Thank you..." (looks out window) -elsewhere- Kid: "Mmmm..." stocking: zzzzz..... Kid: (moves closer to her, hugs her) stocking: *smiles* Kid: *yawn* "My Angel..." stocking: mmmm~ Kid: (puts his arms around his waist) "Warm enough?" stocking: *nods* Kid: (pulls back the sheet, looking underneath it) "Mmmm~" stocking: *blush* Kid: "You are beautiful, Stocking. All of you..." (rests a hand along her hip) -later- Gopher: "Zzzz..." kirika: ..... -the next day- Kid: (whistling) -at school- Spirit: "How is Yumi doing, sir?" lord death: quite well. im so excited! Spirit: (smiles, nods) "I'm sure." -later- Kid: (reading poetry, taking notes) -at lunch- Patty: (having a salad, looking around the cafeteria) liz: looking for something? Patty: "I don't know...Just...lonely." liz:....... Patty: "S-Sorry. Just thinking aloud after seeing everyone all lovey-dovey." liz: why dont we set you up on a date? Patty: "Any suggestions?" -and so- Patty: "..." (adjusts dress) "Is this really the best outfit I could wear?" liz: it looks great sis. Patty: (pushes her breasts together) "Who's this blind date going to be, anyway?" liz: *shrug* *DING DONG DONG DEAD* liz: ah that must be them now. Patty: "That them? How's my breath? Do I look okay? When's my curfew?" Patty: "..." juggernaut: *shaking* Patty: "..." (eyes him up and down) "Damn, you're tall!" juggernaut: *gulp* uuhhhhhh..... Patty: (smiles widely, holds out hand) "I'm Patty. Pleasure to meet ya, Mister..." juggernaut:........... Patty: "Um...So, what's your name, Handsome?" juggernaut: *shaking* liz: i think they call him 'juggernaut' Patty: "...Can I call you 'Jugs'?" juggernaut:.....*nod* Patty: "Okay, Jugs! Let's head out and party! Woot! Later, Sis! Don't wait up!" -elsewhere- Spirit: (sipping on his drink) kim: oh, hey albs. Spirit: "H-Hey. How're you doing?" kim: doing well. you? Spirit: "Been better." (shrugs) kim: been on any dates? Spirit: (shakes his head) kim:....... Spirit: "Yeah...Sorry. I shouldn't be discussing that with a student." kim: eh, it's fine. we arent in school right now so... Spirit: (nods) "Yes. I just like to keep that dividing line so things aren't weird." kim: ah. Spirit: "...Not exactly easy to get a date when half of Death City knows you are a philanderer." kim: *chuckles* Spirit: (laughs a bit) "Yeah..." kim: still, a lot better than my mom. she's like this diner. open 24/7, hahaha! Spirit: (small laugh) "Sorry..." -elsewhere- Kid: "Stocking..." stocking: hmm? what is it? Kid: "Have any plans this evening?" stocking: nah. Kid: "Would you like a quiet evening, or something a little more energetic?" stocking: something quiet. Kid: "Sit by the fireplace, have some drinks, just talk?" stocking: sure. *And so* Kid: (pulls blanket over them) stocking: mmmm.....*she smiles* Kid: (holds her hand) "How is the hot chocolate? I added just a bit of cinnamon." stocking: it's really nice. Kid: (smiles) "I'm glad. Stocking, I really do like cooking." stocking: *she smiles* Kid: "Maybe you and I can make something? Maybe for our parents?" stocking: sounds great! Kid: (beaming) "Great! We can get to work after the Winter Festival Carnival." stocking: awesome! Kid: (kisses her cheek) "How is your mother?" stocking: she's adapting well.... Kid: (nods) "That's good. How is she physically?" stocking: much better than she was. Kid: (pats her hand) "She is lucky to have you..." stocking: *she smiles faintly* Kid: "Stocking? It's only a few months before I have a sister...I think our families are so important." stocking: yeah.... kirika: the fuck am i, road kill? Kid: o_O "!!! When did you get here?!" kirika: i live here, duh. Kid: "I-I wasn't ignoring you! I was just, you know, talking about _our_ sister soon to be born..." kirika: ah.... *eating her pocky* Kid: "...Did you want some hot chocolate, Kirika?" kirika: eh, why not. Kid: (pours a cup for her) "Any additional flavoring? Some spice? Sugar?" -later- Kid: "Mmm..." stocking: ahhhh~ Kid: "Oh, God...You like that?" stocking: yes~! Kid: (clutches her hips as he goes deeper into her, looks at her) "You are so beautiful..." stocking: *blushing* ahhh~ Kid: (thrusting harder) "I love how you sound when you cum, you sexy goddess. You are so hot. I love this feeling!" (thrusts harder still) stocking: ahhh~! oh god! Kid: (buries his face in her neck, kissing and licking as he pinches her hips) stocking: oh-ohh~! Kid: (groaning) "I'm so close...Ah~!" (thrusts harder into her, as he slams his mouth against hers) stocking: mmmn~<3 !! Kid: (he starts to ejaculate into his condom) "Mmmm~" -soon, she is left shaking and panting beneath him- stocking: ahhhhh...k-kiiid~ Kid: (massaging her folds, slowly sliding his fingers into her, as he sucks on one of her nipples) stocking: mmmn~ Kid: (lets his tongue lick the very tip of her nipple, as his fingers alternate between thrusting into her and stimulating her clitoris) stocking: ahhhh~! Kid: "I love your breasts. They are so..." (licks) "...delicious." -later- Kid: *Yawn* stocking: zzzzzz. Kid: (smiles. "She is amazing in every way...") -elsewhere- Yohei: (puts blanket over Shotaro) chie: *tucking him in* Yohei: (smiles at her) -the next day- Kid: (hugs Stocking in bed) "You were wonderful." stocking: you too, babe~ Kid: "Stocking, is there anything you desire in our sex life? Anything different?" stocking: maybe i could top once in a while? or try some new things in that book i got~? Kid: "I would love nothing more than you on top: it's a great view." (strokes a finger along her nipple, his other hand sliding along her thigh) "Any particular page in that book?~" -at school- Patty: (blushing) liz: so how was it? Patty: "..." (puts her head in her hands) "Ugh..." liz: you ok? Patty: "I just feel embarrassed. He was so nervous, and that made me nervous and then--then--" (headdesk) liz: ah... Patty: "M-Maybe we could talk in private, Juggy and me, so he's not pressured being in public or something?" liz: maybe. Patty: "How do you and Kid do it, Sis? You make dating look effortless." liz: just try talking to them normally. Patty: "...People don't really call me--" (air quotes) " 'normal.'" liz: by 'normal' i mean just act casual, like you usually do around people. Patty: "...I-I'll try." -at lunch- Patty: "H-Hey, Juggernaut. Is this seat taken?" juggernaut: um.. n-not really.. Patty: *stiffly forces herself down in the seat across from him* "So...W-What are you eating?" -at another table- Kid: "Say 'Ah!'" (holds up piece of strawberry tart on his fork) stocking: aaaah~ Kid: (lowers the fork, kisses her cheek) stocking: hehe~ Kid: "And here's your treat..." (slides the fork into her mouth) stocking: mmmm~<3 Kid: "I'm sure that's delicious..." (whispers in her ear) "Not as delicious as you." stocking: hehe~ Kid: (holds her hand) Black Star: "Well, you two are just adorable..." tsubaki: ^^ Kid: (blushing) -later- Kid: (looks out the door) "It's already snowing?" liz: looks like it... Patty: (puts on gloves) "Where to? Home or elsewhere?" liz: maybe check out the mall? Kid: "Great!" (smirks at Stocking) "Your gift should be there for me to pick up." (boops her nose) "So no peeking..." stocking: i wont~ Kid: (whispers) "Maybe get you a new blindfold to make sure you don't." liz: TMI. Kid: o___o "Y-You heard that?" liz: *innocent whistling* Kid: "...L-Let's just go to the mall, then..." (blushing) -and so- Kid: "I'm going to head to the west wing. Please give me 10 minutes to procure your gift--and please, don't follow." stocking: ok. Kid: (walks for a bit, enters candy shop) "Hello. I was told my order was ready, under the name Death the Kid." clerk: here it is, sir. Kid: (examines the contents) "Excellent! Well worth the cost! Thank you!" -later- Kid: (smiling brightly over a meal) stocking: ^^ Kid: "How is your meal, Love?" stocking: good. Kid: (having a salad and a sandwich) "Same. Maybe after this the snow will have slowed down and we can start building snowmen." stocking: sure. liz: i guess.... Patty: "..." (inhales) "Do you wanna build a--!" liz: dont. Kid: (shoves a cinnamon roll into Patty's mouth) Patty: "Hmph?!" Kid: "We'll build your snowpeople later. For now, just finish your meal." -elsewhere- Yumi: (looks at the snow) "So beautiful." lord death: *looking at her* indeed. Yumi: (blushing as he looks at her) "Death...Is this what you imagined?" lord death: how so? Yumi: "Did you think you would be having another child? Or would be with someone...like me?" lord death: ....it hadnt crossed my mind in the past, but i'm glad that things turned out the way they did.... *he smiles* Yumi: (blushes) "I never thought I would be married to a shinigami like you...When I first met you..." lord death: yeah.... you were still..... still a student. .////.;; Yumi: (smirks) "You pervert." lord death: Q-Q Yumi: (playful push) "I'm kidding! You didn't even agree to go out on a date with me until long after I graduated." Yumi: (leans into him to let him hold her in his arms) "We kept this relationship a secret for so long from Kid..." (frowns) "I regret that." lord death: yeah... haha... i guess it was long after you matured into a full grown adult i started having those feelings.................*he grows silent* i was afraid he would lash out... Yumi: (blushes) "I...was afraid, too, that he would be upset." (blushes harder) "You thought I was...'full-grown'?" lord death: mentally and emotinally.... *sweats* d-dont get me wrong, you're lovely- *facepalm+blush* Yumi: (smirks) "I am glad you love me for my mind and soul. But, you know, this birth is going to change my body. Will you still love me when my shape changes?" lord death: of course. *he smiles* Yumi: "...Are you okay?" lord death: *he nods, hugging her* i love you.... Yumi: "I love you, too." (hugs him) "Thank you for giving me...for filling a hole in my soul." -elsewhere- *Shotaro and Tool are building snowmen and snow-kappa* chie: that's....different. Tuhl: (frowns at Chie) "Oh, excuse me, but you never get to see kappa much, anyway." (grumbles as he keeps working on another snow-kappa) "Pop culture never has kappa. Don't see any films with kappas as the lead protagonists..." chie: what about Kaoli? Tuhl: "And I never see us in the news! When I helped save Las Vegas, where were the interviews with me?!" -elsewhere- Wes: (brings out tea and cake for Soul, Black Star, and Tsubaki) "I hope this is better than the last recipe." tsubaki: thank you. *she smiles* Black Star: (takes a bite) "Not bad...A little dry." soul: it's improved... Wes: (smiles) "That's good at least. Tsubaki?" tsubaki: it really has. Wes: (slight blush) "I was...kind of hoping to make something for Liz. I guess I'm not quite there yet." -later- Kid: (hides Stocking's gifts in his dresser) "Okay, you can come back in~" stocking: hey cutie~ Kid: "Hey, beautiful." (hugs her) "You hid your gifts in your room, I assume?" stocking: as if i'd tell you~ Kid: (places a hand on her hip) "Even if I tried to coax it out of you?" stocking: nope, my lips are as good as sealed~ Kid: "A pity...I had such delicious ways I wanted to try to get you to talk...Be a shame to waste them, but I guess that dessert can go to someone else..." (smirk, eyebrow wiggle) stocking: Q_Q -TACKLE- Kid: (giggles) "Okay, okay! I give! The dessert is yours!" Kid: (smiles) "You got me pinned..." stocking: you upset me just now.......you'll have to be punished for that~<3 Kid: "Then what are you waiting for~" -and so- stocking: look how cute you look~ Kid: (moaning) "I was going to say the same about you...God, you are amazing." stocking: hehe~ *she goes harder into him* Kid: "A-Ah~! Fuuuuuuck...!" stocking: mmmm~ Kid: (panting) "G-God...S-So good..." stocking: *she smirks and leaves bite marks on his chest* Kid: "Mmm~ L-Lick those bites, please..." stocking: *she breathes on them, flicking her tongue against the nipples* Kid: "Ah-ah-ah!" (his member is throbbing, hard) stocking: *she flicks it teasingly* Kid: "Ah! I-I want to touch you..." -spank spank- stocking: hehe~ Kid: (howl) "God!" stocking: you're such a naughty boy, arent you kiddo~? Kid: "Y-Yes, I am a naughty boy..." stocking: tell me what you want. Kid: "I-I don't know...I-I want to hold your beautiful booty..." -later- stocking: feeling better? *she's giving him a bath* Kid: (moans) "Almost...You know what would feel better?" stocking: hmm? Kid: (sits up, wincing a little--and grabs one of her breasts) stocking: ah! *bluush* Kid: (puts his lips around her nipple) -later- stocking: mmmm.... *she's holding him close, stroking his head* Kid: (purring) "You are amazing. Thank you." stocking: of course kid.....is your butt feeling any better? Kid: (nervous grin) "It'll be better soon. Thank goodness I recover quickly." stocking: yeah....... *she strokes down his wrist* ........ Kid: (lets her stroke his wrist) "Stocking...Do you like having sex with me?" stocking: of course kid. Kid: (smiles) "Same. I never thought I would...find someone who wanted to sleep with me." stocking: kid...... Kid: (strokes her cheek) "I feel like I am compatible with you...You are so attractive, so sexy...I love your figure, your creativity...your enthusiasm." stocking: hehe~ Kid: "Stocking, I love you." (kisses her lips) stocking: mmmmmm~ Kid: (his hand rests along her breast, as he slips his tongue past her lips) -the next morning- Kid: "How about we have breakfast in bed?" stocking: sounds good.... *she smiles, slightly concerned for kid* ...... (thinking: he was muttering and crying in his sleep....) Kid: (forcing a smile as he gets up, puts on his bathrobe, and leaves...but not before blowing a kiss to her) stocking: *she smiles a bit* so cute... *He returns with a large meal: waffles, syrups, toppings, whipped cream, juice* stocking: oooh~! Kid: (sets the food down) "I hope it is tasty." (he disrobes, naked, and crawls under the covers with her) -later- Kid: (holds her hand) "Only a few days until Christmas..." stocking: yeah.... Kid: "Anything else you needed to do? I know Father would like help with decorations..." -elsewhere- Burns: "Hmph. And just what have you all been up to?" dia: we've been making calls to the other branches, so far nothing has come up... pearl: i hope she's alright... Burns: "Do better at finding her. We can't risk her...getting hurt." dia: of course commander. perhaps if i had something of hers, i could trace the scent.... Burns: "Go through her room. Find something. Find her." pearl:....... dia: yes sir. *In Tamaki's room* dia: hmmm.... < > Clothing < > Library Book <x> Other dia:.....hmm? < > Soda cup < > Video game <x> Photograph < > Other -examine photo- *Photo of Tamaki...slapping Arthur upside the head* dia:.....such a vulgar child. Burns: "Find anything?" dia: just the things she didnt take with her.... Burns: (spots the photo...) "...I think I'll take a walk. Clear my head." dia: of course sir.... i'll continue my investigation... Burns: (nods..."Akitaru...Hibana...") -elsewhere- Wes: (making a snowball) soul: how does it look out there? *hiding behind the fort* Wes: (looks over) "Not good...Didn't realize Patty and Black Star were that good at making forts..." soul: yeah, dont underestimate them. Black Star: (behind another fort) "Ready, Tsu?" tsubaki: ready. Black Star: (grins) "Soul! This is your last chance to surrender, bro!" soul: i surrender.....for NOTHING! Wes: (smiles) "Yeah! You hear that, Liz! We aren't surrendering!" liz: oh really now? eruka: we're gonna diiiieeee Free: "Nah, have a little more confident. I got Ice Magic!" Wes: "Hey, Liz! How about a bet?!" liz: oh~? Wes: "Loser buys drinks!" liz: sounds good. Black Star: "Yeah! And when you both lose, you're buying us drinks!" Free: "Fat chance! You're buying our drinks! Right, Eruka?" eruka: er... right! and i have very special drink tastes! Patty: "Then how about some ice for your drink!" (tosses snowball at Eruka) eruka: eek! *her hat gets knocked off* ah!! eruka's hat: X_X Patty: "Ha! Beat that, you punks!" Wes: "Pst. Soul? Patty's out in the open..." soul: *TOSSES A SNOWBALL, WILL SHE MAKE IT?!* Patty: (knocked in the head, falls) "Avenge me, Sister!" liz: HYAH! Wes: o__o "Oh crap--!" soul: *dodge!* Wes: (hit) "Ah!" (falls back into snow) Black Star: "Tsubaki! Hit Liz!" liz: *dodges* Black Star: "Darn!" Free: "~Wolf Wolves, Wolf Wolves~...ICE SPHERE BLIZZARD!" liz+soul: oh shi- *Snowballs knock down all and their forts but Free* Free: "Don't mess with the King of Snow..." eruka: *blinking from inside a snow eruka* ...... Patty: (waving white flag) soul: ......... Black Star: (head stuck in snow) -later- Wes: (slightly slurring) "A-All I'm saying, is that, if I was a werewolf, then, you know, maybe I could've won..." Free: "Ha. Keep telling yourself that. I'm one of the few wolves with elemental skills." Free: (sips on his beer) tsubaki: doesnt luna have nature elemental abilities? liz: oh yeah... Black Star: (warm cloth over head) "Aaaaah.." -later- arachne: *napping* Giriko: (smoking by the window) "...Damn." -knock knock- Giriko: "Hmm?" (looks through peephole) kirika: hey. Giriko: "Hey. What's up?" kirika: ......you're worried about her, huh? Giriko: "..." (shuts the door) "Yeah." kirika: yeah, like she was public enemy number 1 back in the day, and now only a few people remember her.... Giriko: "And I'd like to keep it that way...And I can't exactly kill everyone that recognizes her. Not just pretty fucked up to do that, but it isn't practical." kirika: ...... arachne: *yawn* oh, hello kirika. kirika: yo. Giriko: (sad smile) "How you feeling?" arachne: could have slept better...... Giriko: (nods) "Maybe some sleep medicine?" arachne:........... Giriko: "...I think we have to talk." kirika: i'll just go then. see ya. arachne:.....how long can i hide myself away like a coward? Giriko: "You aren't a coward." (puts an arm around her) "You're trying to survive." arachne: they'll find me here sooner or later...... Giriko: "...Maybe there's something we can do to convince them to let you stay..." arachne: could......you take me there? Giriko: (nods) "Arachne...I can't live without you..." arachne: i'll be ok....*she strokes his cheek* i promise. Giriko: "Can we do it tomorrow? I...I want one more night." arachne: of course. Giriko: (holds her hand...) *sniff* -the next day- lord death: !!!!!!! Giriko: "..." eibon: .........*tranquil anger*.....my child.... why dont you return to your research for now. gopher: y-yes sir.... *he exits* eibon:.....what are _you_ doing here, gorgon? Giriko: (glaring at Eibon) arachne: hello death...it's been some time. lord death: b-but didnt you die 60 years ago? arachne: reports of that were....exaggerated.... Giriko: "Look, Death, we can explain..." lord death: do so. arachne: .....i whole heartedly surrender. lord death: ?? Giriko: "?!" arachne: after the incident 60 years ago, i've had time to think about my actions in the past. the atrocities i had committed... that arrogance ultimately became my undoing.... i lost everything...well.... almost everything..... eibon: ........... Giriko: "..." arachne: i'm not here to ask for forgiveness, that's the last thing i deserve.... lord death:........(thinking: she's a gorgon....yet..... her words feel sincere....) Giriko: "Arachne..." lord death: you're right. the past can not be undone..... arachne:...... lord death: however, death city is a place where one can start anew, regardless of their past. arachne: !! Giriko: (puts a hand on Arachne's shoulder) lord death: we will allow it, and we will allow you to retain your psuedo name. however, a death scythe will monitor you to keep you in check. arachne:....that's understandable. eibon: ......... Giriko: "Th-Thanks..." eibon: as much as i want to see you burn for your actions....death is right..... Giriko: (hangs his head) arachne:... a-about- eibon: i wish not to press the matter further. good day.... *he exits* Giriko: "..." -later- kirika: well that went easier than expected... Giriko: (rubs Arachne's back) arachne: i....feel better now.... Giriko: (hugs her) "Good." -knock knock- Giriko: "???" justin: may i come in? Giriko: "Priest? What're you doing here?" justin: i wanted to see if you were alright. Giriko: "Y-Yeah, we are. Thanks..." -elsewhere- eibon:....... Gopher: "Sir?" eibon: !! ah, my child. are you alright? inori:....... Gopher: "...Me, sir?" inori: i could ask the same of you father. you have seemed quite solemn since the incident that occured this morning. eibon: i-it's quite alright, really. Gopher: (nods) "I can't imagine how you feel, sir..." eibon:..... *he hugs them both* Gopher: "!!! S-Sir?" eibon:...... *mumbling something in lunarian* Gopher: "...What?" -elsewhere- *SCREAM* ???: "What?!" -there is some commotion in the back room- ???: (prepares a taser, walks to the back room, prepares to open the door...) -a woman is unconscious on the ground- ???: uhhhhgh..... Guard: "Hey!" (puts away taser, approaches) "Are you okay? Let's get you an ambulance." -something appears from the shadows- Guard: "Wh-What?!" (arms taser) "Stay back!" *A sword knocks the taser out of his hand* Nals: "Okay, let's make this quick." Nals: "Milia, if you would proceed..." -BWOOOOOM- Guard: "AAAAAARG!" milia: hehe~ Nals: "Now, what shall we do with this unconscious woman?" milia: i guess leave her there, we got what ponera wanted anyway... Nals: "Oh? Where is it?" -elsewhere- Wes: (ice pack on his head) soul: you alright? Wes: "Yeah. That snowball...Liz packs a punch." liz: sorry about that... Wes: (small laugh) "No, it was fun. Never got to do that..." soul: it was kinda funny though... Wes: "Yeah...Man, Liz is something else..." liz: thanks. Wes: o\\\\\o "...How long have you been there?" Wes: (smiles at Liz) "Sorry, forgot you were there. liz: it's fine. Wes: (reaches for her hand) liz: .///. Wes: (rubs her hand a bit) "I had fun. Thank you." -meanwhile- Kami: (groaning) "I'm out of the hospital, so why are you so insistent on babying me, Marie?" marie: consider it girl bonding time :3 Kami: -_-; "Fine...And what constitutes 'girl bonding'? Me lying in bed while you keep bringing me soup?" marie: i brought mooovies. and look who else came alone~ christa: guu! Kami: o\\\\\\o "Um...Hi, small child..." marie: this is christa, isnt she just a cutie pie~? Kami: "...Yes...Hi, Christa." christa: ^^ Kami: "...May I hold her?" marie: of course. Kami: (holds Christa...) "...How are you, little one?" christa: ^^ Kami: "..." (eyes getting wet) "You are so cute." christa: *giggles* Kami: (small smile) "How old is she now?" marie: about 7 months now. Kami: "Ah...She looks healthy." Marie: thank you~ Kami: (laughs as she plays with Christa) -elsewhere- "Mana, set the table." mana: ok. Shotaro: (trying to reach for a biscuit before dinner is served...) -slap- Shotaro: "Owie!" (holds his hand, pouting) mana: TnT Shotaro: "Meanie." (puts his hand in his mouth, thinking that will help the swelling stop) Tuhl: "Serves you right." (brings out the casserole in oven mitts) Yohei: "What drinks you all want?" -later- Shotaro: (asleep atop an empty plate, some mashed potatoes along his right cheek) Yohei: "Jeez..." chie: up ya go.... Shotaro: (snoring, still asleep as Chie guides him, sleepwalking, to his room) Yohei: "Mana, you heading to bed?" mana: yeah. night, Yohei: "Night. Night, Tuhl." Tuhl: "Night, Mana." (smirks) "Good night, you lovebirds." -the next morning- Black Star: "Zzzz..." tsubaki: ........ Black Star: (snore, snort, then sits up awake) "H-Huh?! What?!" (looks around) "Um...What time is it?" tsubaki: 7 in the morning. Black Star: "Ugh...Is it a school day?" -at school- Kid: (smiles at Stocking) stocking: *studying hard* Patty: (reading slowly) Kid: (writing notes) Stein: "Finish that chapter, then we move onto demonstrations." -and so- Stein: "Okay, Kid, Stocking, you will face off against your opponents..." stocking: alright. who're we up against? -black*star and tsubaki as well as mitsuba- mitsuba: hmph.... Black Star: "Hell yeah! Let's do this, Soldier (Mitsuba)!" Kid: (smirks) "I think they intend to fight us, Stocking." stocking: alright, lets give them hell. *Battle begins* Black Star: "AAAAAAH!" (swings at Stocking) stocking: *blocks the blow* hehe. mitsuba: *waiting for kid to make his move* Kid: (stands, fires at Mitsuba) Black Star: (sweeps the floor with his leg, trying to knock down Stocking) mitsuba: *blocks the shots with her axe* stocking: *almost knocked down* Kid: (surprised...leaps up, trying to shoot from above) Black Star: "Soul Menace!" (tries to shove his hand at Stocking's shoulder) -later- Kid: (lying on his back...) "Ouch..." -_-; stocking: you ok babe? Kid: "Nothing rest won't fix..." (grunts as he sits up) "My back..." Kid: "How are you, Love?" stocking: alright, scratched up but alright. mitsuba:....... Kid: (helps Stocking up, then looks at Mitsuba) "Good duel." (holds out a hand to Mitsuba) mitsuba:....y-yeah.... -later- Kid: "You know what I want when we get home? Another long bath..." (grimaces as he sits) stocking: sounds good. Kid: (smiles) "Do you feel sore? Do you want to visit the infirmary?" stocking: a bit, but i'll live. Kid: "Maybe a back massage later? Or a spa visit?" stocking: yeah. Kid: (smiles) "We can schedule a visit before Christmas." -elsewhere- Kepuri: "Tch." (adjusts her Deathbucks uniform) "Okay, what's your order?" lilac: uhhhhhhhhhh........*nervous* Kepuri: "Come on! I don't have all day!" lilac: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... *trembling* Kepuri: "Gah! Useless! Just order at the counter!" (turns to head to the counter where Master stands." lilac: s-sorry ma'am!.... *scoot scoot* ......... Kepuri: "Is every customer here this stupid, Master?" lilac: ........ Master: "Kepuri, take a five minute break and cool off, or you're fired." Kepuri: o_o Master: "Ma'am, I'll take your order. Take all the time you need." lilac: o-ok..... Kepuri: (goes into the breakroom) "Stupid job, stupid city. Wasting my talents in here!" -didelideling~ didelideling~- Kepuri: "What?!" ???: heeeeeey how's the compound eye working for ya~? Kepuri: "It's a pain in the ass. I need better eyedrops." ???: aww, anywho, how's things going in death city, got any new intel yet? Kepuri: "Not much--the DWMA won't hire me given my criminal record. I've been monitoring Dokeshi around here...and I found something to help with finding more..." ???: oh? and what's that? Kepuri: "Interested in a gadget that can detect Dokeshi?" ???: really now? Kepuri: "Want it?" ???: can you get it without being caught? Kepuri: (smirks) "Have some faith. How hard can those idiots be?" -elsewhere- Yohei: "Well, that's the best I can do on the watch. We move onto Step #2: finding NoFix." chie: ................... Yohei: "Hey." (puts a hand over hers) "We're going to bring her home." chie: .......*biting her lip* Yohei: (pats her hand) "I'll get you a bandage..." chie: t-thanks.... *Yohei returns with a bandage* Yohei: "Here." (stares at her lips) chie: thanks...... Yohei: "..." (still staring at her lips) "Is there anything else I can get you? Drink? Medicine?" chie:..... *she hugs him* Yohei: "!!!" (slowly returns the hug) "Okay..." chie: i just want her to come home safe..... Yohei: "She will. I promise." chie: *whimpering* Yohei: (pats her back, rubs it) "..." -the next day, at school- Patty: "How many more days 'til Christmas?" (wearing sweater with light-up Christmas lights) liz: well it's the 16th today so.... Kid: "Nine days..." Kid: "...Why couldn't it be 8?" stocking: it'll be 8 tomorrow babe. Kid and Patty: (squirming in unison) "But that's so long to wait!" liz: *chuckles* julie: *in a mini santa hat* hehe ^^ Yumi: "It'll be here before you know it. In the mean time, focus on what is important." *Yumi is wearing a sweater: "Do not open before February."* julie: yes ma'am. Patty: (grumbling) Kid: "Yes, mother." stocking: hey kid. Kid: "???" stocking: *holds up mistletoe and kisses him* Kid: o\\\\\\\o "Th-Thank you..." Patty: (hands mistletoe to Liz) "Use this for later." liz: uh...thanks. Kid: "May need more of this..." -elsewhere- Burns: "Oze, you can make this easier if you just step aside." maki: i'm telling you, she isnt here and we havent seen her. tamaki: *inside, hiding in the closet, trembling* ......... Burns: "Then you won't mind if I take a tour of your facility." (starts to move forward) maki: wait! Burns: (starts opening doors) "Where is she? I know you have her in here!" maki: she's at the 5th brigade HQ! Burns: (rips one door off its hinges) "Lies! Why would see be at the 5th?" maki: !!!! gabriella: i think we got a report that she was there, right princess? Hibana: (nods) "I can confirm: my soldiers--former soldiers--said so on good authority. So why don't you go saunter over there and rip that facility apart, Commander?" Burns: "..." (tosses the ripped door, glares at Maki) "I'll be back." maki:........ *she watches him leave* ......will it be ok? Hibana: "I don't know...But if Burns comes back, we're going to need something to hold him back...Or stronger door hinges." maki: .........tamaki, it's safe now.... tamaki: i'm scared of what he'll do if he finds me...... shinra:.....any updates from nozomi? Hibana: "Maybe. Burns is definitely dirty. There's something he's hiding right beneath the 1st." shinra: !!! Hibana: "Nozomi better have another report to us. We get this info, maybe we can blackmail Burns." -elsewhere- Ponera: "Did you bring what I asked?" milia: we got the documents right here~ Ponera: (claps and giggles) "Yay! Gimme gimme gimme!" -it's a documentation on witches in the europe/western russia region- Ponera: "Now for our next step...Let's see which witch is most interesting~" Ponera: "Who would like to pay a visit to Witch Maku, the Bear Witch?" Killbell: " 'Bare Witch'?" Nals: "No." shaula: *reading* Mikoro the bat witch, status; active. Maku the brown bear witch, status: active. Ponera: "Any idea whether they would be keen on our goals, Shaula?" shaula: or how about the mole witch? Ponera: "Ooooh, I bet she could...get to the bottom of things." shaula: HAH! that's Moguru for ya! she did have a failed attempt of attacking the humans before, so this might work. Ponera: "Start with Moguru, then try the others." shaula: that should be easy, we'll have to 'dig her up' medusa: ENOUGH WITH THE F***ING PUNS!! Ponera: "Medusa, please--you'll upset your child..." medusa: Q-Q Ponera: "Now, why don't you take a nice walk with Killbell? That'll calm you down." Killbell: "Walk with me... good conversationalist..." medusa:...fiiiine.... Killbell: "Is your morning sickness still bad? I could make you ginger ale..." -elsewhere- Wes: "Coffee, please." waiter: right away sir. Wes: (looking around the cafe to see who is around...) -seems justin is here with someone- Wes: "Oh, Mr. Law! Hello! wes: oh! mr evens! a pleasure to see you! *he is yelling this* Wes: "..." (small voice) "Yeah..." (clears his throat, approaches, and greets the other person) "Hi! I'm not sure we've met." ???: *she tilts her head* ?? justin: it's quite alright, miss. 'miss': *she smiles a bit* Wes: "Am I interrupting something? I-I can leave you two alone..." justin: no no, it's quite alright. Wes: (sits across from them, waves) "Hi, I'm Wes. My brother is one of Justin's students." 'miss': *she smiles* Wes: "..." ("Ah. She's either shy, or mute...") *sips on his coffee* "So...Having an okay day?" justin: indeed. and you? Wes: "Alright. Still a bit sore from a snowball fight." justin: ah.. Wes: "Any plans for the holidays?" justin: we are accepting donations at the church for the orphans living there. Wes: "Oh! Could I give you my donation now?" justin: of course. *he smiles* Wes: (removes his checkbook, writes out a sizable donation) Wes: "Here you are." -later- Kepuri: (standing far from Yohei's house. "Once they all go to sleep, I can sneak in, steal the watch, and be out. Easy-peasy.") chie: ........ Yohei: (washing dishes) Shotaro: "Chie, I made this for you..." chie: hmm? *It's a drawing of their "family"* chie: aw, this is so nice. thanks kiddo. Shotaro: "Hee hee!" ("Good deed complete!") -The drawing wasn't half-bad--and it had Chie and Yohei holding hands- mana:..... ??? *looking outside the window* Kepuri: (hiding just next to the window, struggling to calm her breath) mana:..............does get have a security mode? Yohei: "I put a popcorn maker in GET--of course he has a security mode." Kepuri: (" 'Security mode'?") mana: just checking. Yohei: (shrugs) "Might as well turn GET's security mode on. Don't want weirdos invading our humble home." (presses GET's nose) Kepuri: "...Oh no..." *KEPURI GETS BUG-ZAPPED* *BY THE WALLS OF THE HOUSE* Yohei: "The good thing about GET is that his security mode also keeps mosquitos from getting inside." Tuhl: "When are there mosquitoes in winter?" chie: must be some big-ass bugs. Kepuri: (collapsed on the ground, twitching) "Damn it..." *twitch twitch twitch* -the next day- Meme: "Zzz..." mio: *asleep at her laptop* Anya: *Yawn, looks at the clock* "Okay, time to wake up." (claps her hands) "Chop chop!" tsugumi: *yaaaawn* morning.... Meme: *yawn* "Hey..." (gets out of bed...which is full of wrapping paper) "Huh...I guess I fell asleep while wrapping..." mio: geh? *yaaawn* oh right....playing the sims.... Anya: (frowns) "I see Meme and Mio's sleeping habits have not improved." ao: ah, i see you're all awake now. Anya: "..." (frowns at Ao) Meme: "Morning, Ao!" (smiles) -elsewhere in the dorm- Jacqueline: "Come on, Kim..." kim: *yaaaawn* i'm up im uuup.... Jacqueline: "You need to shower, dress, and have breakfast. You're already five minutes behind schedule." kim: i know i know... Jacqueline: (pulls her out of bed, pushing her to the showers) "Come on, come on!" -at school- Jacqueline: (grumbling) ox: you ok? Jacqueline: "Just dealing with a meister who is so slow. Can you imagine how long she takes in the shower?" kim: i'm right here you know... T-T Jacqueline: "I. Know." (frowns) kim: *poke* you're so meeeean! X3 Jacqueline: *pokes back* "And you need to take your work more seriously!" (tugs at Kim's cheeks) -later, at lunch- Kid: (wide smile) "8 days..." stocking: i know hun~ Kid: (giggling) Patty: "Yeah, but then tomorrow, it'll be 7 days." Kid: D: "..." liz: patti! Kid: "..." (collapses) -in the nurse' office- Kid: (groaning) "My head..." stocking: hey sweetie Kid: "...Hi..." (holds her hand) stocking: you ok? Kid: "Just the shock of...that number. I can't wait for Christmas." stocking:.... *she hugs him* Kid: (hugs back) "I think I'm well to return to class." stocking: ok. *In Class* madoka: *taking notes* Black Star: (pinned to the wall, struggling to get down) "I said I'm sorry! Jeez! I only was asking Tsubaki for a pencil, I swear! I wasn't cheating!" Hiro: (rolls his eyes, keeps taking notes) kyouko: -_-; Spirit: "Now, then, who here has questions about their meister-weapon partnerships and how to improve them? Anyone?" (glances at Kim) -after class- Black Star: (adjusting his pants) "Freaking punishment...gave me a wedgie." tsubaki: ^^; Kid: (smirks) "Maybe you need ice." Black Star: (glares) "I hope Santa dumps coal in your stocking...so to speak." stocking: rude. Kid: (tugs at Black Star's ear) Black Star: "Owie! Tsubaki! Help!" -after school lets out- Black Star: "I guess I know what I'm getting Stocking for Christmas as an apology..." stocking: yes. yes you are. but i would like it as an early gift. Black Star: "...Fine. What do you want? You got a 20-buck limit." stocking: *glaaaaarre* Black Star: o__o "Um...50-dollar limit?" -and so- *At a combination candy/ice cream shop* Black Star: T_T "My poor wallet..." stocking: apology accepted~ Black Star: "Hmph...You better have a good gift for me come Christmas Day." -later- Kepuri: (at Deathbucks, her hair still messy from being zapped) "Welcome to Deathbucks. May I take your order?" liz: nice hair. Kepuri: -_-; "Thanks...You want a table or not?" liz: sure. Kepuri: (leads them to the table) "How many of you are there?" liz: just me for right now. Kepuri: (smirks) "What, your boyfriend too busy to join you? Or did he dump you?" liz: no! cant a girl just come get a coffee by herself once in a while? Kepuri: :3 "Suuuuuure. What kind of coffee?" -elsewhere- Yohei: (tinkering with GET) "Whoever was trying to enter here must have really wanted something. You thinking what I'm thinking, Chie?" chie: yeah...... Yohei: "..." (hands her the Dokeshi Watch) "You're stronger than me. Hold onto it. I'm going to get to work on another one, then lock up the blueprints." chie: ok. Yohei: "I think we'll be ready for our trip soon. After Christmas work for you, to get back your sister?" chie: ....... Yohei: "..." (puts a hand on her shoulder) "We're bringing her back after Christmas. I promise. I managed to get some help from someone at the Academy for a lead on NoFix." chie: !! really?! Yohei: (nods) "The idiot hasn't covered all tracks as well as he thinks. I asked the DWMA for more help, but I don't know whether they can let someone join us freelancers..." chie: .....have they replied? Yohei: "They said they're thinking about it. Try pinning down the Grim Reaper to commit to something--it isn't easy." Yohei: "I'll talk with that Death Scythe tomorrow to get him to commit some DWMA help. We're going to need it." chie: ok.... Yohei: "...Better get some good sleep tonight. You going to be okay?" chie: y-yeah...... Yohei: "...Did you want...I mean, are you going to be okay asleep, alone?" chie:....i think i'd like you to stay with me for tonight.... Yohei: (nods) "Happy to." -a few days pass- Patty: "Is it Christmas yet?' liz: two more days... Patty and Kid: (pout) liz: but some carolers came by. Kid: "Oh? Anyone we know?" liz: just a family of strangers... Kid: "???" liz: so what's today's game plan? Kid: "Finish wrapping, finish decorating, and make some cookies?" stocking: sounds good. Kid: (smiles) "We'll start with decorations. We still have the topper for the tree and a few decorations--" (pulls something out, obviously made by Julie) "...Julie's ornament?" liz: yep. julie: *smiles* Kid: (pats Julie's head) "We better get it on a good spot on the tree! Where would you like it, Julie?" -after decorating- Kid: "Time for cookies!" stocking: yay! Kid: "We have gingerbread, snickerdoodles, peppermint..." -elsewhere- Meme: "All done wrapping!" mio: *covered in tape* i'm dead.... Meme: (giggles) "Should I unwrap you, Mio?" mio: O///////////O ao: that's rather lewd, miss tatane~ Meme: (whistles innocently) Anya: "How pervy...Tsugumi, help me take these gifts to the tree." tsugumi: right away. Meme: "Mio, you okay?" mio: y-yea.... Meme: "..." (holds up mistletoe) "You sure?" mio: s-sen- Meme: (small kiss on the cheek) "Merry Christmas..." mio: O//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////O *NOSEBLEED+faints* awaawawawawawawawawaaaaa Meme: D: "I-I'm sorry! I better get you in bed!" (pause) "To rest. Not to...Oh, forget it!" (swings Mio over her shoulder, drops her in her bed) "I'll get you tissues!" (runs out of the room) mio: *bluuuuush* s-senpai...... Meme: (runs back in) "I got the tissues? Are you okay Lov--Lov--Um...Mio?" mio: y-yeah..... Meme: "...Did I tease you too much with the unwrapping and kiss comments? I'm sorry--I forgot." mio: i-it's ok....i guess i got flustered... Meme: "...Mio? After Christmas, would you like...to go out? Just you and me?" mio: uh...sure i guess..... Meme: (smiles) "Dinner? Dancing? A movie?" mio: a movie sounds nice.... Meme: "Okay. How about you pick? We can even get snacks." -elsewhere- Arthur: "..." (pats Tamaki's shoulder) tamaki: ......thanks. Arthur: (smiles) "It's going to be okay." tamaki: ....... Arthur: "I promise. We're not going to let Burns..." -smooch on the cheek- Arthur: o\\\\\o "...Okay." tamaki: o////o s-sorry... i got carried away there.... Arthur: "I-It's fine...Great, really. I-I like how that felt." tamaki: .......... shinra: i brought dinner... Arthur: (glaring at Shinra) shinra: what? Arthur: (blushing) "N-Nothing..." ("Mood killer...") -later- Wes: "What do you think? I thought a gothic Christmas was kind of apt for this ghost house." soul: looks pretty cool. Wes: "Thanks...Hey, Soul? I...got a letter from Mom and Dad..." soul:......................................... Wes: "They said if I see you to say that...they miss you." soul: bullshit...... Wes: "Maybe. But people do change." soul:........... Wes: "...Well, I told them what they wanted to say. I already wrote to them thanks for the letter, and I'd be on the look-out for you." soul:.....you're not gonna tell them i'm here....right? Wes: (smiles) "No, I am not." soul:....thanks man. Wes: "Any time. Hey, could you help me with some items? I was going to bring some donations to an orphanage." soul: oh, sure. Wes: "Cool. They're by the door." -and so- Wes: (in a Santa cap) "We're here!" -some of the kids are quite happy to see them- Girl: (tugging on Soul's pant leg) soul: hmm? Girl: (has pigtails and green eyes) "Th-Thank you, sir." soul:......no problem kiddo. *pats her head* Girl: (blushing...Hugs his leg) soul: ......*small smile* Wes: (smiles) "Hey, Justin? Thanks for this..." justin: it's not a problem. Wes: "How long has this orphanage been around?" justin: it's an extention of the law church. i believe they built it in the early 1800s? Wes: (nods) "Wish I could help more..." -elsewhere- Shotaro: "Here you go." (handing out food and blankets at a homeless shelter) little boy: thanks mr! *he runs back to his mom* Shotaro: "Hee hee..." mana: he looks like you a bit. Yohei: (fixing heating and lighting in the facility, wiping his brow) Shotaro: "...Huh. I guess so." -another child is with them, one looking like emine- Shotaro: (frowns...) mana: hey.....do you.... Shotaro: "???" mana:....did you ever know anything about you-....your parents? Shotaro: "...Not really. I don't have memories of them..." mana: oh......did they leave anything for you? Shotaro: (pulls out something from under his shirt) "I've had this for as long as I remember..." (a necklace) mana: oh....is it a locket? Shotaro: (opens the locket) mana: ah! -what's inside?- Shotaro: (a photo of someone holding a baby) mana: is....is that...? Shotaro: (serious) "I don't know." mana:...oh......she seems sweet though..... Shotaro: (touches the locket--then seizes) "Ah!" (Vision comes to him) mana: showtaro? are you ok?! Shotaro: (sees a face of a man) "Y-Yeah...Just...Never got that feeling before..." (rubs his arms) "My bones hurt..." mana:........ chie:....... Shotaro: "..." (puts on a smile) "Hey, kids! Want to watch Charisma Justice? Yohei has a portable TV!" kids: yay! Yohei: "..." (stops working) "Oh, yeah--Charisma Justice is on. I'll get back to this later." (sits with the kids to watch TV) -elsewhere- Kid: (sipping on hot chocolate) stocking: nice and warm~ Kid: (smiles) "Indeed." (holds her closer) stocking: hehe~ Kid: (offers another cookie) stocking: ahhhh~ Kid: (softly places the cookie in her mouth for a bite, as he bites the other end) stocking: *smirk* Kid: (soft kiss...with cookie crumbs) stocking: hehe~ Kid: (holds her) stocking: mmmmm.... Kid: (rubs her back) -elsewhere- Hibana: "You mean there is no hot tub here? What am I supposed to do to keep warm in the winter: light myself on fire?" maki: try running the hot water? Hibana: "Hmph. A hot tub is where it's at. The showers here are so...common. And the pipes take forever to heat up. How old is this building?" ????: *watching from the window*................. *fists clenched* (thinking: damn bitch....why wont you just die already?) Hibana: "Maybe a hot shower would help. How about you, Maki?" maki: sounds good. *she smiles* Hibana: "Well, let's go." (grabs two towels and a basket of soaps) "Gabriella was kind enough to buy expensive soaps for us~" maki: neeeeat! shinra:.... ?? *looks out the window* ................... Hibana: (leading her to the bathroom) "And don't worry, Gabriella bought enough for all of us ladies..." (passes a hand along Shinra's head) "Maybe some for you boys, too~" shinra: !! t-thanks..... -seems whoever was staring has gone now...- Hibana: (looks out the window) "...Was something just there?" shinra: .......maybe we should close the curtains.... Hibana: "...Yeah, good call." -down the road- ???: shit....that was close.....damn brat.... *RING RING* ???: ?!?! *she checks her phone* who is this? ???: "You're losing your touch, Girly." ????: who is this? ???: "Let's say I'm a friend. And you are in sore need of some help." ???: friends? i dont need friends, they disappoint me. Friend: "Yes, because Princess Hibana's continued living sooooooo confirms that you are doing such a good job on your own." ???: ......what do you want? Friend: "To help you put Hibana six feet under." ???: how did you get this number? Friend: "I have my ways. You'd be amazed what a computer can do." ???: hmmm......where are you right now? Friend: "Wherever you want me. Name the place." ???: there's an old subway system across from the casino near grissom. Friend: "Good choice! See you there in 5?" ???:.....very well. -elsewhere- Burns: "..." (sitting behind his desk, alone, holding a shot glass...then smirks) "All according to plan..." -elsewhere- Yumi: (putting hot sauce onto gingerbread cookies) "Spicy..." stocking: why. Yumi: "Because I have eclectic tastes, and my pregnancy has been weird. Wait until you have children." stocking: QoQ Yumi: (smirks) "Perhaps not yet?" stocking: jeez. Yumi: "Ah, but when are you and Kid going to give me some grandchildren?" stocking: *SPITTAKE* y-y-y-yumi!! O-O Yumi: (chuckles) "I'm kidding. You both have a long life ahead of you." stocking: 7,7; Yumi: (puts a hand over Stocking's) "How is your mother?" stocking: she's been doing rather well. she's staying with my dad. Yumi: "You will spend Christmas with them?" stocking: maybe....will kid be ok? Yumi: "I'm sure he will. Have faith in him." stocking: ok.... Yumi: "..." (awkward hug) -elsewere- ???: *in the subway, holding her briefcase* Friend: "Hey." ???: hmm? ah, so you showed up... Friend: "I keep my promises, and my schedule. That's more than I can say for some people." (holds out a gloved hand) "Nice to meet you." ???:....who even are you? Friend: "A friend, with an axe to grind against Princess Hibana. I want her to suffer as I had to." ???: oh? Friend: (takes the glove off one hand, showing burn marks) "Yes. One of her...hobbies." ???: !!!!! Friend: "I want her to suffer. I want her to lose everything. And when she is completely alone, the last thing she will hear is my laughter as I snuff out her flame." ???: .......*small smirk* Friend: "Will you help me?" ???: for now, yes... *she takes out a lighter and turns it on, creating a small snake from the flames* Friend: (backs away) "O-Okay...J-Just, keep the flame to yourself, please." ???:......very well. *she puts it out* Friend: "Th-Thanks. Now, you obviously have skills with the flame, but I think you need help isolating Hibana." ???: and how do we do that? Friend: "You see those girls around her? The small nun and the toady? I think kidnapping them should be easier than taking out multiple fire beings, yes?" ???: *grimace* oh...them..... Friend: "I think we can isolate them, divide them...demoralize them." (sneers) "And what better day, when no one is available to help them, then on Christmas?" ???: perfect.... Friend: (chuckles) "Good. Now, let's determine how best to separate them." (holds up a rolled up paper, which she unfurls--Blueprints of the 8th) "Amazing what you can discover with a little snooping..." -elsewhere- Hibana: "So cute~" maki: isnt it just? Hibana: "You bought it for yourself? Or did someone else get it for you?" maki: i got it in a crane game. Hibana: (cooing) "So cute!" (puts her Secret Santa gift under the tree) "You see Obi anywhere? He's been locked in his office all day." maki: he's probably still there... Hibana: "..." (goes to his office, knocks) "Commander?" (opens the door) Akitaru: "Hmmm? Sorry, did you need something?" (he sets down a photo on his desk) Hibana: "Haven't seen you around all day? You got your Secret Santa gift ready." Akitaru: "Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure. I'll put it out in a bit." (small smile) Hibana: "..." (frown) "Well, take your time, why don't you?" (shuts the door) Akitaru: (sighs, goes back to staring at the photograph) Hibana: (to Maki) "Honestly, he's slow." maki:......... Hibana: "...What?" maki: n-nothing....ah! i should get tsugumi something too! Hibana: "Oh, your cousin? Hmmm...Family and all that." -elsewhere- Kid: (hugging) "I'll miss you~" stocking: kiddo, it's only for a day. Kid: (smiles) "I know. Doesn't mean I won't miss you." stocking: hehe *she kisses his forehead* Kid: "I'll have to give you two of your gifts to take with you to your parents'...but I'll have to keep two of them here to make sure you come back." stocking: kid, of course i'll come back. Kid: (whispers) "And these two gifts I'm keeping are a bit private..." stocking: aaaah~ Kid: "Excited?" stocking: maybe~ Kid: (smiles, light kiss on the lips) stocking: hehe~ Kid: (sways with her a bit) "Merry Christmas Eve, Love." -soon- Kid: "Zzz..." -it's now christmas eve and stocking is visiting her family for the day- Kid: (sitting by the fireplace, alone, sipping on tea) liz: how're you holding up? Kid: (sad smile) "Okay. Just...this is different." liz:......she'll be back tomorrow. Kid: (nods) "I just...feel like part of me is missing when she is not near. I love her." liz: *listening* Kid: "And I...I...I want to be with her. Until I die." liz:....................... Kid: "...I know I'm not ready to marry...but I want to." liz: i know kid. Kid: "..." (smiles) "I feel...content." liz:..... Kid: (smiles at Liz) "Thanks for letting me get this off my chest." liz: no problem. Kid: (smiles) "It's getting late. I better get to bed." (smirks) "You and Wes exchange gifts yet?" liz: maybe, but no opening till tomorrow. Kid: " 'Opening'?" -the next day- Patty: "CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! WAKE UP, EVERYONE! CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS!" liz: i'm up i'm up. -there is a large box addressed to kid- Kid: (groaning) "My head...Patty, please stop banging on the walls and knocking on the doors--" Patty: (knocking on Kid's head) Kid: "!!!" Patty: "...Sowwy..." Kid: "..." (sees the box) "Um...Is this from you and Patty, Liz?" liz: holes? Kid: "Holes? On the box?" liz: yeah. like air holes... Kid: "...That's not a good omen. Please tell me there is a pet in here..." liz: i dunno... Kid: "...I'm a little scared to open, but..." (starts to open) -HUG- Kid: "?!" stocking: *in a red dress with a bow on her head* merry christmas babe~ Kid: o\\\\\\o "St-Stocking? Is that really you?" stocking: yeah, my dad wanted me to return in style ^^; Kid: "..." (kisses her cheeks repeatedly and lightly) stocking: miss me? Kid: "Yes! Yes! Eight thousand times yes!" (hugs her, smiling) Patty: *sniff* "So beautiful..." (blows nose in hankie) stocking: hehe, i missed you too kiddo. Kid: (hugs her, then pulls back) "This is the best gift you could give me. I love you." stocking: i love you too~ Kid: (cuddles) "Shall we open our gifts?" Yumi: (hair messy, yawning, as she watches the scene of happiness...holds Death's hand) lord death: merry christmas everyone~! Patty: "Merry Christmas, Lord Death! Mrs. Death!" (hands gift to both of them) "Something I got for you both!" -elsewhere- Arthur: (blushing) "H-Here, T-Tamaki..." (hands gift) tamaki: *she opens it* gabriella: *opens her gift from takehisa* Takehisa: -\\\\\\\\- *Arthur's gift: A cat pendant necklace* tamaki: thanks arthur. Arthur: "Y-You're welcome..." Hibana: (blushing) "Here, Gabriella. Merry Christmas..." gabriella: t-t-thank you! *Takehisa got Maki a customized plushie in the shape of one of her fireballs* maki: oh my.....*HUGS* you do care! QwQ' *Hibana got Gabriella an autographed photograph of herself...and a perfume she made on her own, unique and calls 'Gabriella'"* gabriella: i'll keep it with me always! Takehisa: o|||||||||o "O-Okay. You are hugging me. This is a hug. Okay." Hibana: "G-Good. You better." (crosses her arms) Akitaru: (sitting by himself, sipping eggnog) shinra: here, i hope you like it. Akitaru: "???" -it's a little fire soldier doll- Akitaru: "...Heh." (pats Shinra's head) "It's awesome. Thanks!" maki: ok secret santa time! Hibana: (blushing as she holds the gift addressed to her) Takehisa: (studying the box addressed to him) Arthur: "...Hmmm..." (looks at his gift) "Too small for a sword..." Akitaru: (smiling as he picks out the one addressed to him) *Arthur, Akitaru, Hibana, and Takehisa open their gifts* -gabi got arthur some earbuds, shinra got akitaru a funny t-shirt, iris got hibana a nice bracelet, maki got takehisa a little bobblehead- Takehisa: "...Cute." (taps the top of the bobblehed) Akitaru: "Ha ha ha!" Hibana: o\\\\o Arthur: "Cool!" -shinra, gabi, iris, and maki open their gifts- *Arthur got Shinra flame-proof shoes, Akitaru got Iris a book on medical herbs, Takehisa got Gabriella codes for downloadable apps for her smartphone, Hibana got Maki an autographed photograph...and a bracelet* shinra: this is actually really nice. iris: ah. gabriella: oh! maki: cool now we match! Akitaru: "Well, time for gifts for our newest member, Tamaki!" tamaki: !! *Akitaru got Tamaki an 8th Brigade jacket, Takehisa got her a box of pens, Hibana got her an autographed photograph and a cattail plant...and Arthur got her..." Arthur: o\\\\\o "Um..." (holds up mistletoe) tamaki: O/////////////////////O maki: ooooooooh! Arthur: "...I can return it if you want..." -small smooch- -shinra got her a t-shirt, maki got her a plushie, iris got her some snack packs, gabriella got her a new game- Arthur: o\\\\\\\\o (passes out) shinra: rest in peace. Akitaru: "Ah, some eggnog will wake the knight up." (picks him up and slugs him over his shoulder) Hibana: (glances out the window) -elsewhere- Friend: "Patience..." ???: ............ Friend: "Soon they will pay. They all will pay." (traces hand along her clothed arm, over the scars) ???: ding dong....the bitch will burn....fufu... Friend: (cracks her knuckles) "Indeed. Shall we knock on their door?" ???: i'll handle this one. Friend: "Remember: cut the power, lure our captives to the furnace room, then we each kidnap one girl and head to the hideout." ????: *sneaking into the shed* not wise to leave this out into the open~ Friend: "And I'll take the underground approach..." (heads into the sewer, then punches a hole into the ceiling above and up into the basement of the 8th) Akitaru: "!!! You hear that?" shinra: i'll go check it out... Arthur: "..." (puts a hand on Tamaki's shoulder) shinra:....*looking around* *Pebble bounces along floor of the basement* shinra: !!..... *Lights go out in the Brigade* shinra: !!!!!. Akitaru: "What on earth?" Friend: (whispering by Shinra's ear) "Hello, there." shinra: !!!! Friend: (clutches Shinra by the neck, pressing hard and shoving him against the wall--then dragging him along that wall, his face cutting along the rough wall) shinra: *tries to scream* Friend: (flicks Shinra in the back of the head, trying to knock him out) -WHACK- shinra: *knocked out* ???: lets go. Friend: (dragging Shinra into the furance room) "Maybe we'll be able to get him along with the nun and the gopher..." Akitaru: "...Maki, Takehisa, Hibana, come with me. The rest of you, wait here." maki: right. Akitaru: (leads them to basement) "Maki, give us some light." maki: ok. *summons pusupusu from a candle* pusupusu: pusu~! Takehisa: "..." maki: come on, it's christmas. Hibana: (finds damage to the wall) "Oh, God--there's blood on here..." (sees drips of blood leading to furnace room) maki: !!! Takehisa: (holds his firearm) Akitaru: (cracks his knuckles) "Lead the way, Commander." Hibana: (leads them to the furnace...lights up the room to find--) shinra: *out cold and tied up* maki: shinra! ???: uh-uh-uh~ any closer and he burns to a crisp... *turns on her lighter which summons a little snake* Friend: "Getting him was a bonus. We want only one person." (points at Hibana) Hibana: "Wh-What?!" (frowns) "Release him, now!" ???: but where's the fun in that sister? Hibana: "...No. Wh-Who are you?" ???: i'm not surprised you forgot me. all the other sisters...clematis, sakura, poppy, they all forgot me...and devoted their attention to a little bitch named hibana. Hibana: "...You are not fit to name those sisters. Let go of Shinra, now!" ???: why should i? iris: what's going on? Arthur: "Is there a dragon down here? We heard--" (sees Shinra) "My God!" Friend: (smirks) "Jesus, you people are idiots." ???: oh look, the little good for nothing iris is here too! iris: s-si....sister ivy? Hibana: "Ivy? ...B-But...How are you--?" ivy: i'm not your sister brat! i suppose you forgot they sent me out on errands when the church burned...hehehehe...ahahahahahah!!! Hibana: "...Ivy, stop this. Release Shinra, and we will get you help--" Friend: "Help?!" (punches the floor, upsetting Gabriella and Iris, causing them to fall on their behinds) Friend: "You 'helped' me! And now I'm--I'm--" (throws off her jacket, revealing burn marks along her face, arms, and shoulders) "A freak!" (dashes at Iris and Gabriella) ivy: why would i want your help bitch? this is your fault to begin with! iris: *picks up a pipe to protect herself* Hibana: "Iris! Gabriella!" Friend: (grabs Gabriella by the ankle, flinging her towards Ivy) "Catch!" (stands before Iris) "You should think hard about what you are going to do, Girly..." gabriella: ah! o-ow.... Arthur: "Gab! No! Tamaki, come on--" ivy: i should burn you to a crisp no- oh? Arthur: "Excalibur SWIPE!" (swings the sword at Ivy) ivy: !!! gabriella: oof! Friend: (seizes the pipe in Iris's hand...and bends it with no effort) iris: !!! Friend: "Forehead Flick of Forgetfulness! (Triple-F)" (knocks out Iris, holding her in her arms) "I got mine, Ivy! Grab the gopher and let's go!" Hibana: "No!" (roars as she rushes at Ivy, joining Arthur and Tamaki to battle her) ivy: if you want these brats back, send hibana to this address alone~ Akitaru: (rushes at the Friend) "You're not getting away!" Friend: (eyeroll, catches Akitaru's punch...and crushes his hand) tamaki: *grabs gabriella and brings her to safety* Akitaru: "AAAAAAH!" Takehisa: "Sir!" (fires at the Friend) maki: commander!! Friend: (dodging) "Ivy! Clear an exit! We're out of here!" -seems they got away, with iris and shinra in tow- Akitaru: (gasping, clutching his hand) "God damn it! Not again!" gabriella: this happened before?! Hibana: (looks at the address--written by Ivy with fire into the wall) "..." Akitaru: "I am NOT having another CHRISTMAS losing MY FAMILY!" (struggles to stand up, then collapses) maki: commander! tamaki: this is bad... Akitaru: "...Get me to a hospital..." Arthur: "...Gab? What is Hibana going to do?" -later- shinra: ........................ -in his mental space- shinra: what? w-where....am i? ???: "Some hero you turned out to be..." shinra: ?!?! who's there?! show yourself! *Burns appears, his eyepatch made of only flames* shinra: !!! Dream!Burns: "You're going to let them die..." -the corpse of shinra's mother grabs his ankle- shinra: !!!!!!!! Burns: (demonic grin) "Just as you let EVERYONE DIE!" shinra's mother: it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts!!! ???: "You let me die..." -that horned flame human appears above him- shinra: ?! ???: "...Brother?" shinra: SHO! *running to him* Sho: "Why didn't you save me, Brother?" -shinra wakes up in a cell, iris is next to him- shinra:..............o-ow.... Friend: (whistling) "Oh. You're up. Guess I owe you five bucks, Ivy." ivy: hehe. shinra: where are we? Friend: (holding a candy cane in her mouth) "Santa's Workshop." ivy: formerly known as crestwood hospital...they left all sorts of presents for us.... *holding a scalpel* perhaps i should reopen little iris' cheek? shinra: dont you touch her! Friend: "Or what? You don't shut up, and I'll crush those feet of yours...like I crushed your commander's little fist." shinra: *struggles to get up* aah!! *wince* Friend: "Pathetic. The strong will inherit this world--but what's the point if this world is coddling little babies?" (to Ivy) "So, think Hibana is coming?" ivy: no doubt...... -elsewhere- juggernaut: do you think they'll be ok? sayu: of course they will, they have me, sayu hirano, coming to the rescue~! Kishiri: (eyeroll) "Uh huh, cool your jets." sayu: we're super special rescue squad delta! >w< juggernaut: *gulp* Kishiri: "...We are not calling ourselves that." ????: just let her enjoy it kishiri. sayu: thanks ryuuko~ ryuuko: dont mention it kiddo. mikami: Q-Q Kishiri: "...If I keep rolling my eyes, they will fall out. So, what's the plan, oh-fearless-leader?" sayu: going by this map of the hospital- -later, elsewhere- Akitaru: "..." (looks at his hand in a cast) "Damn." sayaka: hi there :D Akitaru: "...Hi?" sayaka: i'm here cause i slipped on some ice. oh well. did you break your hand? Akitaru: "...No. Someone broke my hand." sayaka: ouch. i can heal, so i'm doing better, maybe i could help out? Akitaru: "...Sure, why not?" sayaka: *she holds his hand* Akitaru: "...Oh. Um...thanks?" sayaka: no problem. always try doing one good deed a day, that's what my mom always taught me. Shotaro: "Good deed? Hey, me too! I'm the Candy Stripper!" (wearing a sexy nurse's outfit) Tuhl: "...That's Candy _Striper_. Not _Stripper_." Akitaru: "...What kind of a city is this?" mana: i'm blind. sayaka: a savage yet exciting one. Yohei: (secretly told Shotaro it was "Stripper") chie: *elbows him slightly* -_-; Akitaru: "I think Maki's cousin used that same description..." Yohei: (chuckles) "What?" -elsewhere- Hibana: (outside the hospital) "..." ryuuko: *over walky talky* we're at the address.... Hibana: (into walky talky) "Okay. Keep me updated. Over." -elsewhere- Kid: "..." stocking: awww kid, this so sweet of you~! Kid: (smiles) "I was hoping you would say that." ((Hey!)) Kid: "You really like it?" stocking: of course kid. Kid: (smiles) "Good." stocking: mmmm~! Kid: (chuckles) "I'm glad you enjoy it. What shall we do now? Open one of my gifts, or would you like your other gifts?" stocking: here, this is for you. Kid: "Thank you!" (unwraps, slowly, carefully...) -it's a new watch- stocking: now you have two~ Kid: (shining eyes) "Ooooooo! It's beautiful!" (kisses her cheek) stocking: hehe~ Kid: "I love it." (puts on the watch) "How does it look?" stocking: it looks great! Kid: (hugs her) "Thank you." -elsewhere- Yohei: (hands gifts out) "Here." mana: awesome! Shotaro: "Thank you!" (rips the wrapping paper apart) Tuhl: (small smile as he carefully opens his gift) -elsewhere- Yumi: (napping) kirika: *playing games* Patty: (playing games with Julie) *KNOCK KNOCK* liz: *she opens the door* yeah? Wes: "Merry Chris--" Black Star: "YAHOO!" soul: hey guys. Patty: "Hi! Come play with us--we have tea!" Wes: (holding gifts) "Merry Christmas, Liz." (leans in to kiss her cheek) liz: *blush* Black Star: (playing with Julie and the doll he, Wes, Soul, and Tsubaki got her) Wes: "I hope they are good. I kept the receipt if..." liz: they're great wes, thanks. Wes: (smiles) "You're welcome." liz: *she smiles* Patty: "Anything you want, Julie?" julie: cookies please? Patty: "Coming up! Come on, Tsubaki!" Wes: "How is everyone doing?" liz: pretty good. Wes: "That's good..." (small laugh) "I bet Patty was excited this morning." liz: oh she sure was. Wes: (chuckles) "...That's good to be excited for Christmas. It feels...special." liz: it sure does. Wes: "..." (holds her hand) "Liz..." liz: ?? Wes: "Thanks for letting us stop by. I...really like you." liz: i really like you too... Wes: (smiles) "I hope we can spend the New Year together. Any plans for New Year's Eve?" -elsewhere- Hibana: "..." ryuuko: we're in.... Hibana: "Be careful. The goal is to get Iris and Shinra out of there; anything else is secondary." ("...I should be the one in there...") ryuuko: of course. Hibana: "Okay. Be safe. Over." Kishiri: "So, Boss Lady wants us to proceed." (flexes arm) "Let's get in there and knock the hell out of those bastards." Hibana: "..." (puts her head in her hands) -in the cells- Friend: (doing push-ups) "Having..." (push-up) "...a good..." (push-up) "...time?" shinra: it'd be better if you let us out of here... Friend: (moves to sit-ups) "Like how Hibana let me out?" (sit-up) "Oh, that's right..." (sit-up) "She locked me up, too." (sit-up) "Left me rotting in a cage, one of her lab rats..." iris: she-she's different now. at least, different from how you knew her... Friend: "Nothing changes, kid." (points to the scars) iris: ...........maybe... *she touches her own scarred cheek* Friend: "In any case, my beef is with her. You're just the bait." shinra:........ Friend: "Once we get Hibana, you two will be free to go." (stares at Shinra) "And if you think of fighting back, trust me, you won't for long." -clank- Friend: "???" mikami: !!..... Q~Q *she starts screaming, her hair going ablaze* Friend: "...What?" juggernaut: waaah! f-fire! her hair is on fire!! -BWOOOOOOOOM- ivy: the fuck?! Friend: "Who the fuck are you losers?" Kishiri: (pops his bubblegum) "Badass losers to you, buddy." (flings gum at Ivy--to trigger an explosion) sayu: when our friends are in danger, trapped in the clutches of evil, we will be there. WE'RE SUPER SPECIAL RESCUE SQUAD DELTA! Friend: "...Please let me strangle that loud annoying one." ivy: by all means *BOOM* ACK! Friend: (just stares, bored, as Ivy falls) "...Huh." (stares at Sayu) "Well, say your prayers, kid." (dashes at her, ready to snap her neck) ryuuko: *defending with fire bullet* Friend: *the fire bullet hits her ankle, causing her to trip* "Fuck!" (slams the ground--causing a mini-earthquake) iris: eep! Friend: (climbing up) "Hibana can't face us! Fine! Then I'll send her a message: your battered remains splattered against the wall!" Kishiri: "Jeez, the mouth on this idiot..." (blows bubble...and keeps blowing...and blowing..." shinra: *defensivly hugs iris*