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dragonlily88 · 4 years

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Your Love Gives Me Strength - Pacifica Northwest/Mabel Pines (Commission)

(This was my very first writing commission. It took me way longer then I would have liked... thank you so much @wombatking for commissioning me and being so patient. Story down below)

“Mabel… are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes, Dipper.” Mabel narrowed her brown eyes at her brother, a serious look in them that was rare to see in them. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

Rolling his eyes, Dipper picked up the bottle of bright green nail polish. “Man, what shade of green is this? Radioactive snot?”

Laughing, she watched the slow and careful strokes of the brush on her nails. “I think it’s actually called electric lime or something like that. I see you painted your own nails for this.”

Taking a quick glance at his own nails before returning to the task at hand, Dipper’s cheeks took on a light pink tint. “Y-Yeah… black and gold are his favorite colors so…”

“Oh, I see. Your super smart and totally hot boyfriend convinced you to let him paint them, didn’t he?”

“N-No!”

“...You feel for the puppy dog eyes.”

“I feel for the puppy dog eyes.” Sighing, his lips curled into a small smile at the memory. “He said that my nails were a blank canvas for him to express himself on.”

“I bet that’s not the only thing about you that he compared to a canvas.” Wiggling her eyebrows, She laughed as her brother’s face turned a shade of red that would put a tomato to shame.

“Mabel!”

“Speaking of your rather attractive college artist boyfriend, where is he now? Still studying in Tokyo?”

“Rome, actually. He’s thinking about staying there until he finishes school.”

“I’m still surprised mom and dad let you date him.” Mabel didn’t hear anything he said after that as she focused on the date on the calendar. Today she was going to be going to a Pride Parade with her brother and girlfriend. She was so excited but also… scared. So many bad things could happen. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe… maybe she should just stay home.

“Mabel? Hello! Earth to Mabel!” Waving his hand in front of her face, Dipper made a face at the far off look in his sister’s eyes. “Are you in there? Mabel!”

“Wha! Dipper, don’t scare me like that!” If she were still able to move her legs, Mabel was almost certain that Dipper would be wearing that bottle of nail polish.

“You’re the one staring off into space… are you okay? You haven’t done that in a while.”

“What are you talking about? I did that just last week when we were video chatting.”

“Yeah, but when you finally snapped out of it you yelled, and I quote, “Not the kittens! Take me instead!” then proceeded to yell for Pacifica to bring you your teddy bear.”

“His name is Captain Rehpic and he’s my second in command.”

“Mabel, I’m serious. Are you okay?”

Was she okay? If she were being honest, no. She was a complete anxiety-filled, scared mess. Not that she would admit that so easily. That’d be like admitting defeat and that was something Mabel only did begrudgingly. So, she did the only thing she could think of at times like this. Put on a brave face and pretend that everything was fine.

“Dipper, I’m okay.”

He knew that smile. Knew it all too well. Mabel was fighting a battle he’d never understand. This meant that no matter how much he wanted to help, he just couldn’t be what she needed to win at this moment. He’d let it go, for now. However, this will not stop him from worrying or passing on the information. If he knew Mabel - and oh lord, did he know his sister like the back of his eyelids - she’d seek out help when she really needed it. All he could do was silently offer his help and be there, waiting.

“Alright. I trust you. Just know that if you ever need my help or to talk you can always count on me.”

“I know… thank you.”

“Mabel!”

“Oh joy. Your rich, pretty, and sassy girlfriend is here.”

“I bet she would get along with your boyfriend. They seem to have a lot in common.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna grab a soda while we wait for your nails to dry. You should start thinking about where you want to get lunch on the way to the parade.”

“Righty-o boss man!” As soon as the door was closed behind him, Mabel lost her smile. She could do this. Though, what she heard on the other side of the door was not helping her feel confident.

“You’ll never guess what I got for your…” Pacifica trailed off when she saw Dipper standing outside of the bedroom, leaning on the closed door. He had his arms crossed and a serious face. The last time he had looked at her like that was when she and Mabel had started dating. “What did I do this time?”

“Nothing. But, we still need to talk.”

~*~

“There. All set.” Taking a step back from her girlfriend, Pacifica smiled at her work. “Purple is definitely your color. Also, you were right about the skirt. Shorts just wouldn’t go with the outfit.”

“Does that mean I’m the new fashion queen?”

“I thought your fans answered that question for you long ago.” As they laughed together, Pacifica pulled out her own outfit for the parade. “Do you like it? I made it myself.”

“Uh, I love it! What a dumb question. You work that ombre, girl.” Watching her start to strip out of her current outfit, Mabel let out a low whistle. “It must be my lucky day.”

Placing her hands on her hips, Pacifica gave her an amused smile. “This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Not to mention, I just stripped you not even five minutes ago.”

“Does this mean you like me?”

“Something like that.” Giggling, Pacifica finished getting ready. “Do you know where you want to eat yet?”

“That cute little cafe near the park that takes in stray cats?”

“You want to go to Catfeine? Why am I not surprised? Though… it is a rather adorable place with really good food.”

“Yay! Caffeine, kitties, and pastries!”

A loud groan and dull thud that the girls could only guess was Dipper smacking his head on something came from the hall. “She doesn’t need any more caffeine and sugar, you crazy woman!”

“Let’s get going before your brother overrules you.”

~*~

“Mabel, do reasonable. You do not need all of those-”

“Silence! I have spoken! Give me more!”

Sighing, Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was to be stared at by strangers in a cat-themed cafe while his sister yelled at him about stickers. “You have a problem.”

“YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!”

“You’re gonna get us kicked out if you keep yelling.” Taking another look at his sister’s wheelchair that could now pass as a float, Dipper fixed Pacifica with an annoyed look. “I blame you.”

“What? All I’m doing is making my girlfriend feel beautiful and happy.”

“You’re feeding her sticker and glitter addiction.”

“Which makes her happy. Honestly, it’s not the worst thing she could be addicted to.” Tying the last sparkling ribbon to the chair, Pacifica took her seat at their table. “What do you think?”

“I think that I have the best girlfriend ever. Dipper would never cover me in glitter.”

“It gets everywhere! Last time I helped you with doing glitter eyeshadow it somehow ended up on me and I kept finding it the weirdest places.”

“Where was the weirdest place?”

“...You don’t wanna know.”

The three laughed as their food - or in Mabel’s case, dessert - was set down in front of them. The conversation kept going between the two as Mabel just silently stared at her food, almost as if trying to will the spoon into her mouth.

“Uh… Mabel-”

“No. I got this.”

Sharing a look with Dipper, Pacifica reached over towards Mabel’s spoon. “Sweetie, let me-”

“No! I can… I can… I can’t do this anymore! I’m tired of being completely useless! I mean… I’m not able to do anything on my own. I need help doing everything! Do you have any idea what this feels like? To not be able to do even the simplest of things?”

“Mabel… why didn’t you talk to us about this sooner instead of just locking how you felt away?”

Looking down at her lap, Mabel couldn’t find it in her to look either of them in the eye. “Because I thought I could handle it. I figured that maybe if I can’t take care of myself anymore, I could at the very least handle my own thoughts and feelings for once.”

“I learned very quickly after that, that I didn’t have to do it alone. No matter how stubborn I can get. Going through something is hard for everyone physically, mentally, and emotionally… I don’t know how I got so lucky to have the people that I do in my life. After a much-needed cry and group cuddle session, along with dessert, we were off to have a great time at pride.”

“Miss. Mabel?” A kid rolled up to the group in a wheelchair with their mother. They looked nervous, holding a picture that Mabel quickly recognized.

“That’s the limited print we did for the blog!” The picture was of her, Pacafic, and Dipper in some wacky design she had dared them to wear with her for April Fools.

“Turns out that they were a huge fan of my blog and that I had inspired them to chase their own dream of being a professional athlete.” Pacafic held up a picture of two taken at the parade, the kid beaming. “Their name is Alex and they were in a horrible car accident that left them paralyzed from the waist down. Seems they were going through the same problems as I was, not talking about how they felt or asking for help. But they’re seeing a therapist to help… actually, I am now too, thanks to Alex.”

“We still see the little slugger from time to time either for collaborative videos or when we get invited to their games.”

“Yeah! Man, can that kid play some mean baseball!” A loud thud came from upstairs, causing the girls to sigh in annoyance.

“Dipper! Tell your boyfriend to calm down and keep it in his pants for just a couple of seconds so we can finish the video!”

Laughing as she left the room, Mabel continued. “Long story short... I learned a lot these past few weeks. I never knew that I would miss being able to do small things like change my own clothes or feed myself until I wasn’t able to anymore. But, on the bright side, I get to take baths with my beautiful girlfriend whenever I need one. I have such wonderful, caring people who love and support me in any way they can… and you guys do too! If you’re facing a battle make sure you don’t fight by yourself. I’m sure there’s an army, no matter how small, waiting in the wings to fight alongside you. You can get through things together. Stay beautiful and true to yourself. Mabel, signing out.”

#dragonlily #writing commission #gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #mabel pines #dipper pines #pacafica northwest #pacafica northwest/mabel pines #pacafica x mabel

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janakimurali · 5 years

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The world changed while I slept

I usually write two part stories for Deccan Herald’s school edition, but this time, the story extended to three parts and the story had an open-ending too, which gave me an opportunity to invite the kids to come up with alternate endings. And, did we get some interesting entries, which Imtiaz and the DHSE featured in the school edition.

The world changed while I slept Part One

The mellow sunlight beaming through the open window created lovely patterns on the floor. Some birds tweeted from the tree outside. A cool aromatic breeze wafted in.

Mita woke up smiling. ‘What a lovely morning.’

She jumped off from her bed and looked out of the window.

What? What had happened to the Raintree?

The tall and wide raintree which grew outside her window had dwarfed into a bushy tree. It had millions of flowers, all tiny and sparkling like diamonds.

The birds looked different too. There were a variety of multi-hued birds, some small, some slightly bigger. But all of them were as tiny as a sparrow. And was that really a sparrow? She hadn’t seen one in years.

What had happened? She blinked and rubbed her eyes and opened them again. The birds were still there. They tweeted softly, tinkling like musical tones floating in the aromatic breeze. She took a big whiff of the scented breeze, hmm, the air smelt fresh.

She must be dreaming. She pinched herself. ‘Ouch, that hurt. I am definitely awake.’

She ran out into the kitchen shouting, ‘Ma, Ma, did you see what happened to our tree…and the birds…and the air…it smells fresh.’

‘Shhh,’ said her mother, looking up from a screen, which seemed to be hanging in mid-air. The news snippets floated before her and once she finished reading it, she swiped the screen away. She seemed to be whispering to herself.

‘Whom are you talking to?’ asked Mita.

‘Shhh, don’t shout. I am talking to dad.’

‘But how are you talking to him, I don’t see your phone, do you have a Bluetooth connected to your ear?’ Mita said, lowering her voice.

‘You’re still too loud. Lower your volume, the neighbours will complain.’

‘What? Why would they complain?’

‘Because you’re loud. You know of the decibels rule.’

‘What decibels rule?’

Her mother sighed. ‘What’s wrong with you,’ her mom whispered. ‘The decibels rule is 100 years old. You know about how our neighbour’s son lost his ears, when his father suddenly sounded the car horn. Poor boy, he’s in hospital now, getting a new silicone ear and the father is in jail serving a sentence.’

‘Ma, what are you saying, what decibel rule, nobody split their ears yet to a car horn. If so, we should all have lost our ears to the blaring sound of car and motorcycle horns through the day and night - there’s so much noise pollution…’

Her mother looked at her as though she had lost her mind.

‘What noise pollution, nobody ever honks in our city. Nobody ever speaks louder than a whisper,’ said her mother softly.

‘We just had Diwali, people were bursting crackers all around, all the stray dogs and cats ran for safety…’

‘What crackers, whoever bursts crackers? And what strays, we don’t have any stray dogs or cats in our cities. The only animals in the cities are pets and none of them bark or mew or growl either – they are all quiet and peaceful animals,’ said her mother shaking her head. ‘I told you we have no pollution whatsoever. All the cars run on solar energy and we have had clean air for years and years.’

‘The trees, why are they shunted and…and the birds are smaller…the sparrow seems to have come back too?’

Her mother scoffed. ‘Who needs tall trees, they block the sunlight, all our trees are the same size, all their flowers are scented, so we get clean and aromatic air. And, who wants predatory birds. All our birds are genetically modified. They only tweet musical notes. And, you’re still too loud, my ears are ringing with the noise.’

Mita opened her mouth and then closed it again.

‘And the newspapers, we have no newspapers either?’ Mita whispered. ‘I saw you reading from a screen suspended from the air, how…how does that work?’

‘It’s beamed from a satellite, directly to each home. We don’t need a television or a computer to receive it, we just need a smart home,’ answered her mother patiently. ‘And we don’t have mobile phones anymore, artificial intelligence in the smart homes connects us directly. ‘

Mita shook her head. Something was wrong with her world…or should she say, something was finally right with her world. No print newspapers, which meant no trees were being cut. Perfumed shunted trees, smaller and cuter birds. Wow! No noise pollution, no vehicular pollution and clean, scented air. She could live with that. She definitely wanted this world. She never wanted anything to change, ever.

‘But you still have to go to school, so get ready, while I get you farm fresh organic breakfast – we have nothing that has pesticides in them.’

‘Farm fresh food, wow,’ said Mita.

She was smiling ear to ear as she ran to her room to get ready for school.

‘Wow, no gadgets, no pollution, farm fresh food, the world changed while I slept.’

To be Continued…

The world changed while I slept Part two

Mita was living her dream.

Every morning, she woke up and looked out of the window. The dwarfed tree with the white diamond flowers was still there, as was the tiny, colourful birds. The aromatic breeze still wafted in through her window as did the mellow sunlight. Mom still served farm fresh food and nobody had mobile phones or other gadgets.

All the news was still streamed to them from satellites and there were no more noisy debates on any news channel. Their Artificial Intelligence in their smart home was called Zero. All they had to do was ask her anything and pat came the answer from Zero. She played music, turned on the TV channels, switched the lights on and off, fumigated their house and turned on the vacuum cleaner and the washing machine. Theirs was a zero-waste home, as all their waste was recycled.

Mita went to school in a solar powered school bus. All the other vehicles on the road too were solar powered. Everyone car-pooled, so there were always random groups of strangers in each car. There were also fewer cars on the roads. The roads were smooth and pothole free. Nobody honked. There was no road rage, as the fine was very hefty if anyone lost their temper on the road.

The familiar petrol bunks on the roads had given way to smart malls, where people were spoilt for choice. There were lots of video games in the sport pavilions, but everyone had to have headphones to play them. All the trendy garments in branded stores were free of child labour. The food courts served only farm fresh organic food. All junk food was totally banned. The smart theatre complexes beamed movies directly to big screens which hung in the middle of the auditorium. People sat around in a circle and watched the movies. It somehow made it all look so cosy. All the loud stereophonic speakers in the theatres had been done away with and every movie goer was given headphones.

There was no crime anywhere in the city, girls and women could walk freely on the roads, without fear of being molested.

‘After all we won the annual award for being the most peaceful city in the world. And mind you, we have been doing so for the last ten years,’ said her mother.

‘You mean I can walk home at any time, without being afraid of my own shadow? Wow, that’s so cool,’ said Mita. ‘I am sure this is a dream, but I am not going to pinch myself, I want to stay in the dream.’

Mita’s school had been transformed into a stunning green campus. There were cobblestoned pathways and a beautifully manicured lawn. Recycled water was used to water the lawns.

The school had thought it best to stop all noisy sports, like basketball, volleyball or cricket, as crowd enthusiasm raised the collective volume decibels to beyond allowed limits. So, all sports courts had been converted into green walkaways.

All the students wore soft rubber soled shoes, which made no noise as they went up escalators to the various floors. As stairs made too much noise, the school had converted all the stairs in the schools to noiseless escalators.

There were no scratchy, screechy chalks boards, teachers taught through screens that hung from the middle of the class room. Children sat around in cosy groups around the teacher. There were no desks as there were no text books or notebooks. No trees could be cut for paper, so everyone just memorised what was being taught.

That’s what Mita loved best - no school books, so no heavy school bags to carry either.

‘What about exams, how do we write them, how are we supposed to remember everything. There are no reference books, the school does not have a library anymore,’ Mita whispered to her friend, Rita, as they walked back from class.

‘How can we have libraries, we are not allowed to print and the school board had to do away with exams for the same reason. With a ban on paper and all gadgets, they had no clue how to set exams for the school children,’ Rita whispered back.

‘This sounds like fun, no books, no exams.’

‘But if you do want to recall anything, just ask Zero, she is your memory bank. Anyway, why do you want to remember everything, I take in only what I’m going to use later in life. I am not going to use calculus or geometry ever in my life, so I blank out during the maths class.’

‘Hmm. but I do miss my music class. I heard nobody is allowed to sing, play the drums or play any musical instrument, as the school is afraid it would raise the decibel levels.’

‘Naturally, the school does not want to lose its licence, crossing the decibels levels is a very serious offence. But why do you want to sing Mita, doesn’t Zero pipe in good enough music into your home?’

‘Yes, that Zero does, the softest, soothing and most melodious and tuneful music ever. But someone must have made those tunes, right?’

‘They’re a medley of all the music anyone has ever heard, The AI has dipped into all our memories and created music which people love to hear.’

‘Okay, but what about sports? Don’t you miss it, I know you’re a good basketball player.’

Rita shrugged. ‘I play basketball video games at the malls and on my screen at home, but yeah I agree, it’s not the same.’

‘By the way, what year is this, it’s still 2018, isn’t it?’

Her friend looked at her as though she was a stranger.

‘What’s wrong with you Mita, it’s 2118.’

To be Concluded…

The world changed while I slept Part three

So, this was no dream.

Mita had been catapulted 100 years forward to 2118. Everyone around her was the same, her parents, her friends, her school. Yet, everything had changed. The world had changed while she slept – was it just a few days ago, a few weeks ago, a few months ago - or even 100 years ago? How was it that nobody had aged? She didn’t know anymore.

She learnt from Zero that the world’s scientists had found ways to beat climate change. Every city in the world now had the same climate – not too hot, not too cold, just the right temperature. There were no snowstorms, hailstorms, earthquakes or tsunamis. None of her friends at school even remembered them. In fact, none of her friends remembered anything. They never bothered to pay attention in class, as they could always go home and ask Zero about anything they needed to know.

‘Why does anyone even come to class, if they’re not going to pay attention?’ Mita asked Rita.

Rita shrugged. ‘I come to school to meet my friends. You?’

‘I don’t know anymore. Nobody does anything. There is no library, no sports, no music, no…no debates anymore…don’t you miss them?’

Rita looked strangely at her.

‘And, you miss them?’

‘Of course, I do. Nobody at school talks about their dreams…or…or ambition? I wanted to write music and sing, now I find, I can’t do that anymore. I am trying to figure out what to do with my life.’

‘You’re a funny one, aren’t you? What ambition, what dreams? Everyone works for the system and Zero will allot our work for us, when its time.’

‘But why should Zero do that? She’s Artificial Intelligence, just a machine. Shouldn’t we have the choice?’

‘You’re going to get into trouble talking like this. Especially as your parents are the system.’

‘What?’

Mita was too shocked to say anything more. Her dad and mom were activists who had wanted a different world, pollution free and garbage free cities and a reversal of climate change. That was not wrong, was it? She remembered they had led protest marches in the city, before…before all this. So how did they…when did they become the system?

She soon found out that the reason her dad travelled so much, was because he was a trouble shooter and handled breakdowns of the system at various cities in India, China, America, Japan, Germany, Britain and Russia. And her mother was one of the many administrators in the system, which ensured everything in their city was as it should be.

Mita wasn’t so sure she liked her perfect world anymore. She wanted to be able eat junk food sometimes, sing sometimes, laugh loudly at some joke her friends made and not worry about the decibels count all the time. More than anything else…she wanted…she wanted to be able to have a choice.

But Mita kept her thoughts to herself, she wasn’t sure Rita or any of her classmates would understand. And she definitely couldn’t share her disquiet with her mom or dad. For, they were the system.

‘You’re very quiet now. You don’t ask any questions anymore?’ Rita asked one day, as they were waiting in line to collect their fresh organic lunch in the school canteen.

‘I…I don’t know what to think anymore.’

‘Come to the basement at 3 p.m,’ Rita whispered in an aside.

‘What’s happening there?’

‘Shh, just come.’

When Mita went to the abandoned sports equipment room in the basement at 3 p.m, she had no idea what to expect, yet she was astonished to see so many of her fellow classmates from the tenth. The ninths were there, so were the eighths. She even spotted a few sevenths.

‘Come in Mita,’ said Rita. ‘Meet the Disrupters.’

Rita stood at the head of the room along with a few other boys and girls from their class.

‘We were not sure, we could trust you, for your parents are the system…’ began Rita, as she dribbled a basketball.

‘So, you do miss your basketball,’ said Mita smiling.

In the next hour, Mita learnt that the Disruptors met secretly every Thursday in the basement, as it was the only place, the school’s Artificial Intelligence spy network of drones and listening devices couldn’t reach. Like her, the Disruptors too were disturbed with their ‘too perfect world’ and wanted change.

‘We’re not saying we want to go back to 2018. There are a lot of things which have worked well, like the pollution free cities. But we can’t have machines controlling our every move. Our free will has been taken away,’ said Surya, one of the boys in her class.

‘Hear, hear,’ said the other students in the room.

‘Next, they will put a chip in our brains,’ said Rita.

‘What?’ said a shocked Mita.

‘The system is planning to do that supposedly to wipe out crime, but we suspect it is to ensure everyone conforms.’

‘But our thoughts are all we have.’

‘So, here’s what we are going to do…’ said Surya.

Concluded

Write your own ending:

The World Changed While I Slept is an open-ended three-part story. Read

all the three parts of the story and suggest your own alternatives to a better world.

Write your ideas in 400 words and send them in to DHSE by December 20th. The best five entries will be featured in DHSE.

#shortstory #children fiction fantasy

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sunshineofthegroup · 7 years

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Diet Coke & Ray, a Raywood fic

Ryan didn’t have favorites, but he had Diet Coke, and he had Ray. (read on ao3)

Everyone seemed to realize Ryan didn’t have particularly strong pulls towards a ‘favorite’ thing separately, but they all came to the same conclusion eventually. fahc Raywood, fluff, ignore that Christmas was ages ago, based on the fact that Ryan gets annoyed if you ask him what his favorite anything is, ~6k aka much longer than I intended sorry, (also juggey because who doesn’t have those feels at this point) ((also also im not sorry for all the run on sentences and overuse of the word observant))

Michael pulled Ryan’s name for Secret Santa and threatened to rage quit Christmas immediately after seeing the name. Fortunately Geoff was the only person in the room at the time, because Michael had immediately begged, “Can I switch with Ray?” and Geoff had frowned at him, beginning a Dad Lecture™ about honor and responsibility. That’s when Michael knew he was screwed.

What the fuck did Ryan even like? Besides murder? Michael slowly realized he knew the least about Ryan than anyone in the crew. Ryan was out with Ray four nights a week doing jobs. The other nights, he was on the couch with Gavin, Jeremy, and Ray playing any pretty much any video game. Geoff and Jack knew everything there was to know about the crew and Los Santos. Michael didn’t know shit. Michael was fucked.

Even though Geoff had strictly forbidden Michael from seeking help from anyone else (even the B-team! What kind of bullshit rule was that??), Michael still thought maybe Ray would accidentally (or not) let something slip about what Ryan might want for Christmas. Everyone knew Ray and Ryan were the closest of anyone, and Ray and Michael were good friends, right?

“So, you know this whole ‘secret santa’ thing?” Michael asked.

“Yeah?” Ray responded, not looking up from (surprisingly) not pokemon, but cleaning his sniper rifle.

“Did you get the whole lecture about not talking to anyone about it?”

“Yeah,” Ray agreed. “Geoff gave me the whole thing after I pulled mine and started bitching about it.”

“I wish I’d gotten you instead, I know exactly what I’d get you,” Michael sighed.

“What’s that?” Ray asked, laughing a little in anticipation.

“Weed and lube, disguised in a bouquet of red roses,” Michael replied.

“Both things I could use,” Ray agreed. “I’d get you a basket of grenades with a brand new elite xbox controller in the bottom of it.”

“Dude, that’d be sweet,” Michael agreed.

“Personalized to say ‘will you marry me’,” Ray joked.

“Don’t be fucking gay,” Michael replied, but he didn’t mean it.

“The grenades, not the controller,” Ray explained. Michael laughed, hard.

“Too bad we didn’t get each other?”

“Gav would be so easy,” Ray continued. “Anything with gold paint slapped on it.”

“And for Geoff, you’d just have to get him booze,” Michael agreed. Ray hummed in agreement.

“Ryan is so sure I picked him, he’s been dropping incredibly non-subtle hints about everything he wants for two weeks,” Ray complained. “Every time we go into a store, ‘Boy, wouldn’t I be disappointed if I got this for Christmas’.”

“You’re not going to get him something anyway?” Michael asked.

“No? That’s not how secret santa works,” Ray frowned.

“Yeah, but it’s you guys,” Michael shrugged.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, you’re kind of a Big Deal.”

“I’m pretty sure I understand the rules of Secret Santa, dude,” Ray said. “Plus, even if I had picked him, I’d just print him out a meme and put it in a card. That’s the way it works with me and him.”

Needless to say, that conversation didn’t help Michael in the slightest. What did you get for someone who only expressed vague interests and never favorites?

Jack was taking inventory of the cupboards and refrigerator, because as the self-proclaimed resident Mom, she’d put herself in charge of trying to make the Lads eat healthier. They were going to get heart disease before they turned 30 at the rate they kept consuming fast food. One cupboard at the top left was labeled ‘Ryan’ (with a tiny ‘also Ray’ scribbled underneath it). She’d never been in that one, as it wasn’t her business what Ryan was eating, but she opened it anyway. The contents were very predictable. Half a dozen cans of diet coke, a partially eaten bag of Flipz, and a few packages of ramen that Jack were pretty sure had belonged to Ray when he’d moved in and had been there ever since. The rest of the cupboard was completely empty. It’d be a nice gesture in the spirit of Christmas and general camaraderie to fill it up for him, right? What did Ryan even like?

Jack closed the cupboard and continued inventorying the kitchen, but when she’d finished and was headed out, she still had a big question mark next to Ryan’s name on her pad of paper. She sighed, knowing the solution to the problem. Jack pulled out her phone to text Ray. She knew he was in the penthouse somewhere, but it was a big place and he knew how to hide. It took five minutes for Ray to stump into the kitchen, annoyed.

“What’s up?” he asked, wiping sleep out of his eyes. It was 1 in the afternoon.

“You’re coming grocery shopping with me,” Jack announced.

“Why? I don’t know how to cook,” Ray said.

“You don’t get out enough,” Jack told him, grabbing her wallet and stuffing it in her pocket before picking up the keys to the blue Entity XF she loved. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Your definition of fun is warped,” Ray muttered, but followed her into the elevator anyway.

Jack’s suspicions that Ray would know exactly what to get for Ryan proved correct, even without prompting, as Ray kept wandering back to Jack and the cart with items from halfway across the store, saying things like “Rye loves this type of soup,” or “Can I get these chocolates? I’ll split them with Ryan”. The variety of items seemed so random that even Jack couldn’t keep track of the things Ray would bring.

Jeremy was the newest to the crew, so it didn’t surprise him how much he didn’t know about Ryan. He’d been outside of the crew for a long time, watching them pull off jobs on the TV and wishing he could be as awesome as he thought they were. Occasionally Jeremy would catch Weasel News’ live broadcasts of the police chasing them around town. The Vagabond would always charge straight into danger and emerge laughing almost satanically. Any stray officers that he hadn’t caught in his initial explosion would be sniped by BrownMan, across the street, hidden on a rooftop. What a dynamic duo.

When Jeremy actually got into the crew, through a series of happy accidents (not actually involving Bob Ross), he was over the moon, but it was about a thousand times more terrifying than he ever expected it would be. Ryan lurked with his skull mask on in dark corners of the penthouse at 4am, Michael got angry and chucked bombs off the balcony at least twice a week, and the sheer amount of inside jokes he only vaguely understood was just overwhelming.

The Lads constantly teased him that if he messed up a heist, Geoff was going to kick him out (even though Geoff assured him that wasn’t true). There was an almost constant onslaught of practical jokes, mostly from the Lads, but Ryan as well. Then finally, one night, they actually full-on pretended to kidnap him – well, actually did kidnap him – and brought him to a remote location in South Los Santos. After thoroughly scaring the shit out of him, the Lads inducted him as one of their own. He’d made it.

“Plus, we think Ray is going to leave the Lads to join the R&R Connection full time,” Michael had joked.

Still, after somehow winning the approval of the Lads, Geoff, and #1 Mom Jack Pattillo, Jeremy was still at a loss as to how to even start a conversation with Ryan. Sure, they played video games together and became battle buddies, but what kind of things did Ryan do for fun… besides murder? What movies did he like to watch? Was he secretly a giant weeb? SuperFan Jeremy Dooley really wanted to know.

“You know Ryan, right?” Jeremy asked Ray.

“I’m sensing a trend,” Ray said, side-eyeing his accomplice. They were both in an unmarked SUV that Ray was driving away from a quick burglary at a gas station Geoff had put them up to as a diversion for the real burglary at the liquor store. They were supposed to lead the cops around for a while, and car chases without grenade launchers were boring.

“What?”

“Why has everyone been asking me what I know about Ryan lately?” Ray asked. “It’s really weird. Just ask him yourself.”

“Gav said not to ask Ryan questions,” Jeremy confessed.

“Don’t ask him questions that make him want to put your head on a spike, simple,” Ray shrugged.

This information was not helpful to Jeremy.

Gavin had a habit of asking inane questions, and unfortunately Geoff had a habit of indulging him in them. Gavin always seemed to have an infinite number of questions preloaded at any given time, ready to shoot them at unsuspecting individuals.

But Gavin didn’t ask questions to Ryan. Not since The Incident™.

Ryan hadn’t been with the crew for too long at that point, maybe a few months, and he’d been politely answering Gavin’s questions up to that point, but for some reason, he snapped on this one, and he wasn’t even a part of the original question.

It was something about flipping a coin, and the original premise was that if you correctly called the coin flip, you could have sex with anyone you wanted for the rest of your life, but if you didn’t, then you had to have sex with Bam Bam Bigelow. By the way, he died in 2007, but for this hypothetical, he would be resurrected. And you get three coin flips to correctly call it. Which is pretty decent odds. Ryan got pulled in halfway through for his math skills, probably misheard or misinterpreted the question, and it turned into a debate that lasted months. Both Ryan and Gavin could easily be provoked with just the words, “but if you flip a coin three times…” and no one wanted to listen to them both insist they were right anymore.

One of the most iconic questions ever asked was that if Ryan was given some kind of astronomical amount of money, would he kill Ray every morning for the rest of their lives if there was a 100% chance that Ray would respawn good as new 20 minutes later. Ryan had responded with, “I hope you guys don’t mind waking up to gunshots,” and Ray had walked in at that point. Gavin had explained the whole premise to him, appalled for Ryan’s sanity and their relationship if Ryan would kill Ray every single day for the rest of their lives for money. Ray had snorted and replied with, “he better take that money, and he better fuckin split it with me. You gonna pay up, or?” And Gavin didn’t ask questions about the pair of them anymore.

Ray and Ryan had been a duo before they’d joined Fake AH, bringing the crew from three members up to five (then Michael had come along after). No one ever questioned their relationship or the nature of it. In fact, Gavin was the only one who had ever gotten close, and he didn’t understand these two apparent sociopaths, yet with such a deep bond between them. He accepted pretty early on that asking questions to the pair of them was only going to scare him.

(That’s not even to mention the time Gavin asked Ryan if, hypothetically, he could take all of Geoff’s money by touching Geoff’s penis with his lips, and every single person in the penthouse immediately agreed without hesitation, and Geoff started locking his bedroom door.)

Gavin would say he knew three things about Ryan, for sure, which were 1, that he would not hesitate to murder a crewmate for money, 2, he became very mingey when asked questions, and 3, he was shite at probabilities.

“Gav, c’mon, you gotta know something,” Michael whined. “What the hell do you get a guy for secret santa?”

“I dunno, boi,” Gavin said, scuffing his trainers on the pavement, or whatever dumb British words he was constantly trying to pass off as real. “I wish I got someone easy like Geoff.”

“Yeah, fucking so do I!” Michael agreed. “Who’d you get?”

“I can’t say,” Gavin said.

“Did you get the bullshit lecture too? I gave up on that. Ray wouldn’t help me out, you gotta be able to give me something,” Michael begged.

“Give him three coins,” Ray suggested through their comms, reminding the two of them that Ray and Jeremy could hear their entire conversation.

“Shut up,” Michael snapped. “Are we ready for this or what?”

“Yeah, on three,” Jeremy agreed.

“Wait, on three or after three?” Gavin asked.

“On three, Jesus, he just said,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“I’m going now,” Michael shot back, chucking a bomb at the building.

Geoff was the leader of the crew, and therefore he knew everything there was to know about his crew, or at least he liked to think. In truth, he didn’t know much more about Ryan than anyone else did. He did his research, though, before hiring the pair of them. Because BrownMan and Vagabond had always been a double act, hadn’t they?

R&R had a pretty slick gimmick running for them. A sniper and a total wild card? They could do anything together. The first time Geoff had noticed they were anything other than a pair of hooligans running around doing petty theft, he’d actually accidentally been a witness to one of their crimes.

It was genius. Ryan casually opened the door of a shop, one shot from a suppressed sniper rifle a safe distance away, and suddenly there he was in an empty store with the cops none the wiser. By the time police arrived on the scene, Ryan had cracked the registers (and sometimes the safe) for the money, and both of them were en route to their next location. There were 20 stores in LS that kept cash (most had gone to credit only because of the high crime rates), and R&R hit every single one of them.

Geoff had been casually staking a joint for a heist from a nearby roof when he’d seen them do it. Just pull of a job in one bullet. He had to have them. Who were they?

Considering the sheer amount of intel LSPD had on them, the fuzz sure did know absolutely nothing true or useful whatsoever. Every time they’d hauled R&R in for questioning, they’d never gotten an English word out of Ryan, and Ray generally spoke only in memes and refused to refer to officers by their real names, instead assigning each of them a new name that sometimes changed three times in a conversation. Not a single one of their crimes could ever have been pinned to either of them, mostly because fiery explosions tend to conceal evidence fairly well.

So when Geoff finally devised a plan to approach R&R with the intent of asking (bribing) them to join Fake AH, he wasn’t surprised to find out that they were totally different from what he’d expected. Well, Ray was almost exactly what he’d expected. Barely out of his teens, total memelord, only owns one pair of sneakers… Gavin would love him. Ryan was still a total wild card. He was charming but nerdy. His eyes seemed to say ‘you are safe here’ but crackled with murder. His body language seemed to say ‘yes you called this meeting and I am compliant’ but also ‘you are the one being interrogated here Geoffrey’. Ray did 90% of the talking in their meeting and 0% of the paying attention. Geoff and Ryan stood over the counter in the Fake’s penthouse (it took a lot of convincing – a few hundred grand worth of convincing – to get them to agree to a meeting in the penthouse) talking business while Ray sat on the couch playing on his DS seemingly not giving a fuck about the meeting at all, yet answering every question intuitively as though he was trying to ace some kind of verbal SAT test. Jack was casually in the kitchen cooking dinner as Geoff’s backup. (Geoff wanted them to feel comfortable, but not too comfortable, and Jack was an intimidating woman when she wanted to be – but only when or if she wanted to be.)

What did Geoff learn about R&R in that meeting? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They were an amazing duo, and they were going to rise to the top with or without Fake AH. But Geoff really wanted it to be with Fake AH. So what does Geoff Ramsey do when he has a problem? He throws money at it. And they accepted.

And that’s the story of how Geoff Ramsey is the leader of his crew, but still knows next to nothing about Ryan Haywood.

“You can stop dropping hints, Rye, I didn’t get you for secret santa,” Ray finally burst out, exasperated, as his phone received yet another casual ‘Ryan wants you to see this product!’ email. “I got Jack.”

“You can’t tell who you got, that’s cheating!” Ryan exclaimed. “What about honor and responsibility?”

“Boy, Geoff really ran that one into the ground, didn’t he?” Ray rolled his eyes. “What the hell do I get for Jack?”

“Get her a gift card to Ponsonby’s or Pampered Chef or something,” Ryan suggested. “OR! You could carefully construct some kind of message spelled out on the ground such that you can only see it from a helicopter! That’s creative!”

“That’s a lot of work,” Ray whined, scrolling through all the emails Ryan had sent him to that point of things he wanted for Christmas.

“It would show you really care.”

“Do you ever think about, maybe, opening up to the rest of the crew, telling them literally any factoid about yourself?” Ray asked.

“I tell them stuff about me all the time, it’s not my fault they don’t listen,” Ryan said.

“I mean, yeah, I know,” Ray agreed. “It’s just… people have really started to notice how little they really know about you in the last few weeks. Do you think you could just walk around the living room and talk really loudly about what kinds of food you like or something? I don’t want to go grocery shopping again.”

“I guess so…” Ryan agreed.

“What’s this?” Michael frowned at the gift-wrapped box Ray had shoved into his hands. “It’s fuckin heavy.”

“That is what I got you to give to Ryan for Christmas. You’re welcome,” Ray replied, walking away before Michael could protest any further. Leaving Michael’s room for Jack’s, Ray knocked and was allowed entry.

“What’s up Ray?” Jack asked, looking up from her computer screen where she was diligently researching the available vehicle mods for the upcoming releases.

“Your real present is under the tree, but I got you something extra… from Ryan,” Ray said, holding out an envelope addressed to her. She frowned at him, taking it and opening it, unfolding the paper inside. “It’s Ryan’s grocery list. I know that’s why you asked me to go with you. No one genuinely enjoys my company enough to invite me out with them. I get it. I’m more approachable than he is. I know that.”

“Come on, Ray, that’s not true, I had a really good time when we went out,” Jack replied.

“Well… either way,” Ray shrugged. “I know it’s a long list, but he doesn’t really have favorites, so… you know.”

“Thank you,” Jack said. “I’m honestly touched that you’d think to get this for me. I wish I had something for you.”

“Again, your real present is under the tree,” Ray reaffirmed. “You just, uh, keep being the cool Crew Mom™ and I’ll see you later.” He ran from her room before he could be any more awkward. Jeremy’s room was next on his list of places to visit. Lil J was, predictably, watching YouTube when Ray walked in. Lil J didn’t get knocks. Lil J got walked in on. Lil J was not really done with being hazed yet. “Hey.”

“Hey!” Jeremy replied. “What’s up Ray? Am I late for something? Lads Heist? Shopping Montage? Are you here to kill me?”

“You know how we were on that job the other day, and you asked about Ryan?” Ray asked.

“I didn’t mean it, please don’t kill me,” Jeremy said, eyes very wide.

“You’re new, and I sorta get that, but – please, I am definitely not going to kill you,” Ray said. Jeremy visibly relaxed. “Today.” Jeremy tensed slightly again. Ray laughed. “Ryan likes talking to people. He loves to tell stories about his childhood back in Georgia. Ask him anything you want to know. Seriously. He’ll tell you. And if he doesn’t want to answer a question, he’ll tell you. He’s not going to threaten you with bodily harm or kill you over a few questions. You’re not Gavin.” Jeremy laughed nervously. “Plus, don’t tell the others, but I think you’re his favorite.”

“Ryan doesn’t have favorites,” Jeremy replied.

“Well… he has Diet Coke,” Ray said.

“And you.”

“What? No,” Ray deflected. “I mean, yeah, we’ve been together a long time, but we’re just crewmates. We look out for each other.”

“Okay, sure,” Jeremy laughed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ray asked, frowning.

“If that’s your story, then sure,” Jeremy continued to laugh. “Sure, there’s nothing going on with you and Ryan.”

“What do you think is going on with me and Ryan?” Ray asked, continuing his confusion.

“You’re… you know…” Jeremy said, starting to get confused. He’d thought this was another one of the Lads hazing things, but Ray really didn’t seem to know what was going on. “…a couple.”

“A couple of what?” Ray asked. Jeremy stared at him.

“No, like… a couple. Are you two not… like, half-married?”

Ray stared. Shocked. Shook. What was going on? Did everyone think he and Ryan were… dating? Fucking? In Love? Ray didn’t even reply to Jeremy, just walked out of his room and back to his and Ryan’s.

“We share a room,” Ray said to Ryan, who was sitting on the bed reading.

“Yes,” Ryan agreed, confused. “We always have. Are you okay?”

“We share a room, we go out together four times a week, we have a combined cupboard in the kitchen, we’re always paired together on heists, and above anyone else in the crew, we’d defend each other with our lives,” Ray said, still shook. He was aware of Ryan’s presence in the room, but didn’t have the mental capacity to focus his eyes so everything in the room was sort of blurry.

“Are you okay?” Ryan repeated.

“I… I don’t know? My life is crashing down. I think I need help,” Ray said, walking forward to the bed and crawling next to Ryan. Ryan put an arm around him, pulling him to his chest, and continued reading his book, knowing Ray needed to just breathe and calm down for a bit. Ray actually ended up falling asleep with his head on Ryan’s chest, as he so often did. When he woke up, he blinked, confused, cracked his neck, and started looking around.

“Feeling better?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah… I just… It was weird,” Ray said. “It’s like… I guess I should have known the rest of the crew thinks we’re, like, in super gay love or whatever.”

“Oh, yeah, they do think that,” Ryan agreed. “After two years, I don’t know what it says about us or them that they still think that.”

“To be fair, we share a room, go out together four nights a week, and defend each other with our lives,” Ray commented.

“Yeah, but… I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged.

“That must be why everyone thinks the joke about me saving my virginity for the day you can actually fuck an xbox is so funny,” Ray finally put together.

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed.

“Are you in super gay love with me?” Ray asked. Ryan shrugged.

“I wouldn’t want to screw up what we have,” he replied.

“What if I did? Want to,” Ray almost tripped over his sentence.

Ryan kissed him in response, ducking his head to meet Ray’s, as Ray was still leaning on him.

“Oh, it’s ruined now,” Ray said sarcastically when Ryan pulled away, even going so far as to dramatically start leaving the bed. “I’m moving in with Michael.” Ryan laughed and pulled him tighter to him. Ray put his head back on Ryan’s chest and smiled.

“Merry Christmas,” Ryan said quietly.

“Christmas isn’t for like four days,” Ray replied.

“Yeah, but I have your present right here,” Ryan said, pulling a small red box with a bow on it from the nightstand.

“Oh? You got me for secret santa? And you didn’t even have to ask anyone what to get me, I bet. Lucky,” Ray said, taking the box from Ryan and popping it open. Immediately, Ray stopped talking. It was a necklace with two charms, a red rose and a black skull. Objectively, it was pretty badass, and Ray totally would have accepted it any day, said ‘sweet necklace, bro’ and worn it every day for the rest of his life. But since the whole Ordeal Of Thirty Seconds Ago™, he wasn’t even sure what to say.

BrownMan and Vagabond had been partners in crime for six years. Four before Fake AH, and two with Fake AH. The red rose and the black skull had been graffitied on the walls of Los Santos together for six years. It was something they sometimes joked about, like getting friendship bracelets or matching tattoos or something. They’d considered starting a crew for a couple weeks once, and Ryan had created them a crew logo with the images easily.

Ray and Ryan, though? It should have been weird, shouldn’t it? To take their relationship from basically platonic to romantic? But it really wasn’t. It felt like… why haven’t we been doing this for six years? It felt like… maybe we have been in super gay love for six years and we’re both idiots?

“I do love you,” Ray told Ryan as Ryan put Ray’s necklace on for him. “Maybe I always have.”

“Isn’t that kind of cliché?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, you know that clichéd story of two fucking murderers being partners for six years and finally realizing they were in Super Gay Love™ the whole time,” Ray said sarcastically. “Yeah, a total cliché. Every single Lifetime movie. People are bored of hearing about it.”

“You don’t always have to point out how wrong I am,” Ryan told him. “You can let some of them go.”

“Never have, never will,” Ray said stubbornly.

Geoff liked to think he was fairly observant. No one else would ever tell him any differently. (They wouldn’t dare.)

When Ray and Ryan sprinted into the kitchen on Christmas morning to get some of the enormous breakfast Jack had cooked, Geoff couldn’t say there was anything different about them. Ray had showed his necklace off a few days before, saying Ryan just couldn’t wait for Christmas day to give it to him, and blushing.

Ryan bumped Ray purposefully out of the way of the fridge with his hip, grinning. Ray blushed. Ray blushed? Did Ray blush? Was that a thing Ray did? Then he pouted. Ray pouted? Did Ray pout? Was that a thing that Ray did? Ryan laughed and pressed a kiss into Ray’s hair. Ray blushed again. Maybe blushing was something Ray did do?

Wait, did Ryan always kiss Ray’s hair? Everyone knew they were a couple, but there was little to no actual evidence of them putting on public displays of affection.

Geoff Ramsey was very observant. He observed this. And he came to this conclusion: Ray Narvaez Jr, like many other humans, blushes, pouts, and gets hair kisses.

After breakfast, the crew each opened their gifts, with the exception of Ray, who sat in Ryan’s lap, as usual, and played with his necklace with a dumb grin on his face.

Jack opened her gift from Ray, it was a sweet vintage record player she’d pointed out in the window of an antique shop once while they were on a heist. Ray and Ryan had been out enjoying the Christmas lights and fake snow, when they walked past the store and Ray remembered she’d said she wished she had one. So he and Ryan had immediately held up the shop and taken it. Who the fuck paid for stuff if they didn’t have to?

Jack’s gift was for Geoff. She’d gotten him three bottles of very expensive whiskey and a set of glasses with his initials engraved on them. “If any of you motherfuckers breaks one of these glasses, I’ll punch you in the dick,” Geoff warned the rest of the crew. Michael made a joke about how Geoff should really keep the pleasure of breaking the glasses for himself. Geoff threw a punch at him and Michael ducked. The punch hit Gavin, and everyone laughed.

Geoff had drawn Jeremy, and known exactly what to get him. (Because Geoff is very observant. Obviously.) Jeremy was very pleased with his gift, four colors of neon hair dye, a package of gold star stickers, a bright green remote control toy monster truck, and a keychain with two things on it: a pewter cutout of the state of Massachusetts and a key to a Grotti X80 Proto, painted in Jeremy’s favorite ‘Rimmy Tim’ colors. Michael screamed in protest. “Welcome to the big leagues, Lil J,” Geoff said.

Even though that was clearly the big winner at the gathering, Jeremy presented his gift to Gavin hastily before excusing himself from the action around the coffee table to play with his remote control monster truck. He’d gotten him a few different gold tone makeup things that Gavin had seen various advertisements for and whined about wanting for two straight weeks. Gavin gushed in all of his non-real British words about how great Jeremy was for ten straight minutes before Jack cut him off and made him present his gift.

Gavin had gotten Michael. They’d been best friends for so long, anyone would think Gavin would know exactly what Michael would want, but he hadn’t had a clue. Weapons and bombs were too simple. He didn’t need a new car, not since Geoff had bought him the chrome Adder (and therefore really had no room to complain about Jeremy’s new car, besides the fact that X80s were twice as expensive as Adders). What did you get your best friend for Christmas?

“Gav, this box is empty,” Michael told him.

“Yeah, I couldn’t fit it,” Gavin said. Michael frowned at him.

“Okay…” Michael said with a shrug. “Where is it?”

“Oh, um… Dammit, hang on,” Gavin pulled his phone out of his pocket and started tapping away. Everyone was perplexed. There was a knock on the penthouse door. Everyone but Gavin could be seen trying to subtly count how many of them were already there, thus trying to figure out who was at the door. “You may want to get that, boi,” Gavin threw out, still texting.

Michael, perplexed, put his empty box down on the coffeetable, got up from the couch and jogged up the few stairs to the penthouse door. Throwing open the door, he saw –

“Lindsay.”

“Ayo,” Lindsay and Gavin said almost at the same time.

“You’re here,” Michael said, shocked. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.” He hugged her tightly, still standing in the doorway.

“As it turns out, breaking someone out of prison is harder than it looks on paper,” Gavin told the rest of the crew. Lindsay had been in federal lockup for months on a (mostly factual) counterfeiting charge. Of all the things the feds were going to get on the Fakes, of course it was a fucking counterfeiting charge. Instead of keeping her in Los Santos where the crew could easily have broken her out, they’d taken her to Washington, and every attempt at hacking even the security system at the place they were holding her had resulted in a completely fried computer on the Fakes’ end. Michael had pretty much given up all hope of ever seeing her again, and that wasn’t something you lost easily.

“How the fuck did you do that?!” Geoff asked Gavin, voice cracking in his shock. Gavin just gave Geoff a smug look of ‘do not try to one-up me for the best present of the year, Geoffrey’. Michael and Lindsay were still hugging in the doorway, having a whispered conversation no one else could hear but everyone assumed it was something like ‘I love you so much don’t you fucking dare ever get arrested again I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you out we tried so hard linds I love you never leave me again’.

“Only one gift left, lads, who’s it for?” Gavin changed the subject.

“It’s from Michael to Ryan,” Ray said, sliding onto the couch from Ryan’s lap so he could retrieve his present. “I’m guessing he won’t care if he’s not here to see you open it.” Ryan picked up the box to put it on his lap.

“It’s heavy,” he commented. Ray nodded, rolling his eyes. Ryan pulled the paper off and started laughing. The box was a 24 pack of Diet Coke. Nothing else, just that. “Wow, this is the best present anyone could get me. Seriously. It’s perfect.”

“No one knows what to get you! You don’t have favorites!” Ray exclaimed.

“Diet Coke!” Ryan protested.

“Yeah, Diet Coke and Ray, that’s all anyone knows about you,” Geoff said. “I’m fine with it. The longer I don’t know what’s going on in your head, the longer I can continue sleeping at night.”

Michael and Lindsay finally joined the rest of them in the living room, but not willing to separate themselves, as they sat down on either side of Gavin still holding hands.

“Thanks boi,” Michael said to Gavin. Gavin just nodded. He already knew Michael was grateful. No thanks required. It’s not like he’d worked on it double triple extra overtime for a month. Michael spotted the case of Diet Coke still in Ryan’s lap. “Really, Ray, Ryan’s entire life story at your disposal and Diet Coke was in that box? I could have fucking come up with that. Last time I trust you to do anything.”

Everyone started sending accusatory looks and phrases at Ray for helping Michael cheat at secret santa.

“Really? I’m the one who gets yelled at for cheating at secret santa?” Ray asked. “Geoff had to call Gavin and ask him about, and I quote, ‘Rimothy Timothy’ colors. Jack had Jeremy help her steal that whiskey. I’m willing to bet Gavin didn’t fucking break Lindsay out of prison without a substantial amount of help. Ryan gave me this necklace four fucking days ago. Michael was the one who begged me to help him, but no, I’m the one getting the blame. Sure, fine.”

“It’s a great present and it doesn’t matter if it came from you or Michael,” Ryan told him. “And you keep me out of this. I 3D printed that necklace myself.”

“When are you guys gonna get married already?” Gavin asked them with a frown.

“Yeah, Matt and Trevor started a bet about Ryan proposing for Christmas,” Jeremy said.

“Shh, that’s New Year’s,” Ryan joked.

“Christ,” Ray declared. “At least take me to dinner first.” The joke confused everyone else in the room, but Ryan laughed, pulling Ray back into his lap, the Diet Coke banished to the floor. “Okay, maybe I’ll settle for delivery.”

Geoff Ramsey prided himself in being a very observant man. When Geoff Ramsey observed something, it was observed. Boom. Immediately. Nothing gets by Geoff. Except, apparently, Gavin breaking Lindsay out of prison, and the fact that Geoff couldn’t for the life of him name one other time he’d ever seen Ray and Ryan actually kiss. He knew they must have, he had memories of it, but they were probably clouded over with alcohol or something that was preventing him from accessing them.

Geoff knew. He’d observed it. It had been observed. Maybe he sometimes forgot stupid shit like who the fuck Rimmy Tim was, or where he left his car keys, but he knew exactly three things about Ryan Haywood: 1, Gavin was absolutely not allowed to ask him questions anymore, 2, Ryan was on this earth to drink diet coke and kick ass (watch out when he runs out of diet coke), and 3, Ryan Haywood, the Mad King, would ride or die for that punkass sniper with the pink guns and checkerboard vans.

#raywood #raywood fic #fahc #fake ah crew #raywood fluff #this took a solid way too long to write #and it's about 4 times longer than i intended #but i'm really happy with it

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