#Shana Tova Umetuka

[raleigh-in-the-garden]

Rosh Hashanah: Shana Tova Umetuka

[bengrimmfanclub]

The Thing celebrating Rosh Hashanah and wishing you Shana Tova Umetuka!!

[supercantaloupe]

have a great new year !!

thank you!! shana tova umetuka to you as well

[creature-wizard]

Shana Tova Umetuka

Thanks, anon. 💙

(Just to clear up any potential confusion, I'm not Jewish but I do appreciate the sentiment!)

[theoriginalmarke]

ROSH HASHANAH FRIDAY

Shana Tova Umetuka, for those of you observing the day. May you have a good and sweet new year.

Anyone else remember when advice columns were a thing? Newspapers carried Miss Manners, Dear Abby, Ann Landers, or Dr. Ruth back in the day.

People would write in pressing questions such as "Should the oyster fork be placed next to the sherry glass or the soup spoon?" Or "My son has recently joined the Rebel Reliance. Should I turn him into Darth Vader or just send him to bed without any supper?" Or "My wife wants me to dress up as Darth Vader and make lightsaber sounds during sex. What should I do?"

The questions would be printed with helpful answers to enlighten and educate the readers. "The oyster fork should always be placed outside of the soup spoon." "You ignorant fuck" was never published but implied.

I suppose now that we don't read newspapers we get advice from these issues from social media. Instead of an experts advice we get a hundred different opinions, a handful of insults, and mostly unhelpful and unrelated comments to our questions.

"Why do you have an oyster fork? Oyster farming is killing the environment!" "I just use plastic forks and throw them away." "Oh, I love oysters with just a little bit of horseradish!" "What kind of sherry are you serving?" The "you ignorant fuck" part is added often.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to browse Amazon for Princess Leia costumes.

I love you, Kitten. "VMMMM." "PSSHEW!"

Y'all have a great day and a great Rosh Hashanah.

[jewish-microwave-laser]

shana tova umetuka, shalomander

I made Gary (my gecko) a tiny Tallis and yarmulke for Rosh Hashanah and he wished u all happy new year

[standardfarelife]

Shana tova

Shana tova umetuka!

[ngildin]

Dear Colleagues and Friends, I extend to you and your families my best wishes for a Happy, Healthy and Sweet New Year - Shana Tova Umetuka!

#newyear #roshhashana #shofar

[eretzyisrael]

Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tova uMetuka, a good and sweet year to everyone!

May Hashem Write And Seal You In The Book Of Life For A Good Year.

May Hashem grant all of Klal Yisroel a Good and Sweet Year filled with blessings, a year of peace and prosperity for the Land of Israel, and prosperity and goodness for all of mankind.

Our next post  will be on Sunday evening.

[absolutelynotclassicusernam-blog]

reblogging this in honor of rosh hashana. tkiyah! (Toot!) Shvarim! (Toot! Toot! Toot!) Truah! (Tootootootootoot!) Tkyiah gdolah! (Tooooooot!) shana tova umetuka!

(In case my illustrative toots didn’t make it clear, the above words are how you tell the shofar player what length and number of toots to blow.)

Mystic Jew Powers

I don’t think I’ve ever written this down before. This is the story of the first time I played a shofar (as I remember it, not as it happened).

So it’s the mid 90s and I’m in primary school (‘elementary’, my dear yanks). We were doing Religious Education and learning about Judaism, I think for the first time. The teacher didn’t really know anything about Judaism that wasn’t written in the book, so he kept asking me, since I was the Only Jewish Kid In The Class (only jewish kid in the school in fact, except my sister). I wasn’t very religious, but I was doing my best to make up reasonable sounding answers. Anyway, the school had somehow got hold of a shofar. (If anyone’s religious education wasn’t up to the stellar standards of mine, the shofar is the ram’s horn that’s blown like a trumpet as part of the ceremony of certain jewish holy days). The shofar was passed around the class, and of course, hygene be damned, everyone tried to play it. But it’s not an easy instrument to play, there’s more to it than just blowing. So everyone is puffing and wheezing and red in the face, and the best anyone can get out of this thing is a pitiful squeak. But we’ve all just seen the guy on the VHS tape with the hat and odd hairstyle blowing it, and we heard the tooting noise come out of the tinny little speakers of the TV on the wheely cart, so we know this isn’t right. Is our shofar broken or something? Is it blocked up?

Finally the shofar gets around to me, and I am psyched all the way up. I haven’t played a shofar before, but I’m determined to get some kind of noise out of this damn thing, because my heritage is looking silly right now. The burden of upholding the dignity of Judaism itself falls upon my narrow shoulders. So, I take the biggest breath I possibly can, and put the shofar to my lips. Everyone’s looking at me, because I’m The Only Jewish Kid In The Class. And the thing that nobody in the room (including me) is thinking about, is the fact that I’m also The Only Trumpet-Player Kid In The Class. I only know one way to blow into an instrument. It happens to be the right way. And I do it, just as hard as I possibly can.

If you haven’t heard a shofar played properly in person, it’s not easy to describe. Recordings don’t capture it at all. Maybe it’s just because you usually hear it in a context of fasting and extreme reverence, but nonetheless a shofar blast (and that’s what they call it, a “blast”) is an amazing sound. The shofar sounds like raw naked power, it sounds like righteous fury. It sounds like more noise than a single human could ever make, yet it has a property like a human voice, like a bellow, a howl, like a newly bereaved mother splitting her lungs with blood and thunder. It’s a BIG sound, in the sense that it’s very loud, but also in the sense that it seems to fill whatever space it’s in, to come from all directions at once. It makes sense that the ancients gave it religious significance. When you hear the shofar’s call, the story of the Walls of Jerico tumbling down doesn’t seem that crazy.

So, it’s not possible to play a shofar quietly, and I’m giving the thing everything I’ve got in a little red brick classroom in southeast london. I can feel the room resonate and shake, hear the single-glazed windows rattle in their frames. I’m having a great time - this is the loudest noise I’ve ever made in my short life! And it’s in school! And I’m allowed to do it! So I keep going as hard as I can until my little lungs give out. I remember surfacing, out of breath and grinning, and listening as the antique cast-iron pipes throughout the building slowly stopped reverberating over the slack-jawed silence of the room.

The kids of course have seen enough TV to know exactly what happened. The Shofar knew I was Jewish. Obviously it’s not going to unleash that kind of unearthly sonic firepower for just anyone. Shofars only work for Jews. And the teacher is like “…That doesn’t sound right… but I don’t know enough about Judaism to dispute it?”. I didn’t offer any other explanations, because why would you demystify your Mystic Jew Powers?

And I’m writing this because I just realised that there were perhaps 30 kids in that class, and there just aren’t very many jews in southeast london to set them right, so it’s quite possible that there’s at least one 25 year old adult out there who still believes that the Shofar is a Holy Sacred Artefact which will Sound its Mighty Voice for none other than God’s Own Chosen People. And that cracks me up.

[mrsdenasaan]

Happy new year from Bubbeh Yenta and Schmuley Ghoulie!

Shana Tova Umetuka!

Enjoy a new book for the High Holidays, bubbaleh! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CC6HLP1H

[kabbalahdeanoji]

3 Tishri (5784)

SHANA TOVA UMETUKA y Boker tov familia de kabbalah de Anoji, esta semana no hay cursos 10 pm, nos veremos por ZOOM EL DOMINGO 24 SEPTIEMBRE DE 2023 A LAS 7:10 PM PARA YOM KIPUR MISIÓN DE KABBALAH DE ANOJI: Llevar la humanidad al nivel de Adam Kadmon El material audiovisual que se presenta, contiene nuestros análisis, comentarios y puntos de vista sobre diferentes autores y varios temas de…

[elepeemeelepeeme]

SHANA TOVA UMETUKA: 5784

[jewish-sideblog]

A happy new year is perfectly acceptable! Jews usually say shana tova umetuka, which means “have a good and sweet new year”.

It would probably be a social blunder to wish someone a happy Yom Kippur, which is a day for atonement and fasting. Instead, you can wish the Jews in your life to have a meaningful fast.

But in most circumstances, I find that Jews are pretty forgiving when it comes to that sort of thing. We don’t really expect goyim to know all the details of our culture or religion, and it’s usually easy to tell when someone is well-meaning. Thank you for asking!

Some friends asked me to explain Rosh Hashanah exclusively through memes so. Here we are

[saramackenzie1982]

I know I'm a day late. Shana Tova Umetuka!

#RoshHoshanah #HappyNewYear #JewishHolidays #Heritage

[ceashax]

The sun just set in my neck of the woods. Shana Tova Umetuka, everyone. May you have a good and sweet new year.