#Sending you a big hug

[cottonlemonade]

When You’ve Lost Your Mom

word count: 1195 || avg. reading time: 5 mins

pairing: Tsukishima x gn chubby!Reader (feat. Karasuno Team)

genre: comfort

warnings: grieving your mom

synopsis: the boys are there for you

Tsukki didn’t pay attention. Instead he stared at the empty chair in front of him, twirling a pen in his long fingers as the teacher in front kept going on and on about something he had already understood an hour ago.

A poking finger on his arm brought him back to the present. Yamaguchi nodded in the teacher’s direction who had obviously asked a question and picked Tsukki to answer it, which he did with ease, and then went back to focusing on the chair.

It had been a week since you’d been to school. The few texts he had sent remained unanswered and he wondered if you were sick or mad at him for something. Baka, you should tell him if something was up. He watched a leaf being carried on a breeze outside, annoyed that he had to sit in class without you. Club activities were canceled for today. Maybe he could drop by your place once class was over. As a kind of wellness check, he told himself. But maybe you were avoiding him. But what had he done? He rifled through your last couple of conversations in his mind. He hadn’t treated you any differently, he thought. He had snatched up your cocoa to exchange it for his strawberry milk like he usually did, he had made a comment about the messiness of your locker last week. You had caught him staring a couple of times but none of that was out of the ordinary. Annoyance turned into frustration. And then the bell rang. And so did his phone. Pulling it out from under his desk he felt his heart do a silly little flip when he saw your name on the display and amongst the chattering students ready for their day’s end he picked up.

“Hey, y/n. About time you-”, he stopped when he heard a sob, “Y/n?”

Yamaguchi stood next to him, slowly packing his things.

It was difficult to make out what you said next - he held his other hand to his ear to drown out the noise of the classroom.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?”

“Can… could… could you come over, please?”

Out of breath, he rang your doorbell when Yamaguchi, wheezing behind him, closed the garden gate.

A grandmother opened the door.

“Yes, dear?”

Tsukki straightened, inadvertently towering over the small elderly woman in the process.

“Is y/n-san here?”, he asked politely.

“Why yes. Come in, come in. Have some tea, dears.”

The two boys entered and took off their shoes, standing a little awkwardly around in the entryway. He had been to your house a few times in the past to study. At first glance nothing seemed amiss. A bucket of water with a rag and a duster leaning against it, indicated that the grandmother had obviously been in the midst of cleaning.

“Y/n-chan is upstairs, the poor little darling. Terrible thing to lose a mother. I remember when-” Tsukki didn’t let her finish and walked past her upstairs, leaving Yamaguchi to fend for himself.

A little clay sign, decorated with sakura blossoms swirling around your name marked your bedroom. A tray of untouched food, still steaming, was placed in front of it. He picked up the tray and knocked.

A bundle of blankets, shivered slightly as he closed the door behind him.

He had no idea what to do now. Placing the tray on the rather cluttered desk he went over to your bed.

“Y/n.”, he began.

The blanket moved and slowly a face emerged. It was evident you had been crying for quite some time. Tsukki felt weird for thinking that even with your puffy red eyes and nose you were still so pretty to him. He grabbed a packet of tissues from your bedside table, took out a little square and, after hesitating a moment, dabbed some tears away, before clearing his throat and handing the tissue to you.

“Thank you for coming.”, you said. Your voice was hoarse.

“No problem.”, he replied lamely.

Silence fell between you two.

Then you hugged him.

He felt your fingers gripping his shirt and a new wave of tears soaking the fabric.

What would Yamaguchi do?

He hugged you back. Arms tightly wrapping you.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” He felt ashamed that this was all he could come up with. “Your mom… I only met her a couple of times but from what you told me she seemed really great.”

More sobs and because he didn’t know what else to do he just stayed quiet, holding you like this.

Tsukki didn’t know how much time had passed when your breathing finally became deeper again. “The granny from downstairs made you some food.”, he kept hugging you as he nodded towards your desk. You looked up and followed his eyes.

“I’m not hungry.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Dunno.”, you mumbled.

“Then, at least have a bite of it. I’ll… I don’t know. I’ll eat with you?”

You raised a squinty brow and let out the first small chuckle you had in days at his awkwardness. Tsukki offered a little smile, glad he seemed to be on the right track. Giving your chubby form one more short squeeze he let go and retrieved the tray, before returning to you and setting it on his knees. You wiped your face on the sleeve of your sweater and looked over the tray. You really weren’t hungry but seeing Tsukki stiffly raise a fork with a speared slice of apple carved into a bunny to your lips made you open your mouth. The sweet tang of the fruit spread on your tongue and you slowly began to eat. Apple bunny after apple bunny was presented to you and when the little plate was cleared, Tsukki dipped a spoon into a bowl of stew. By now you were starving.

Many voices and even some quiet laughter wafted up from downstairs a few minutes later. By now the tray was cleared completely and Tsukki had listened intently to a sweet story you had been telling him about your mom. When a muffled crash sounding like a pot lid hitting the floor was followed by another round of laughter, you two exchanged a look and Tsukki said he’d go investigate. He was pleasantly surprised when you said you’d join him.

As you two headed downstairs you were met by quite a sight.

Yamaguchi, wearing pink long rubber gloves that went up to his elbows and a bandana in his hair, was doing the dishes while Suga expertly stacked mountains of food containers into your fridge. Your father, having obviously come home from work, was in deep conversation with Daichi and Asahi over on the couch. Noya and Tanaka were being instructed in the art of laundry folding by the granny in one corner and Kageyama and Hinata were in a heated discussion about how to properly stack pots and pans into a pantry. From a short glance into the cupboard Tsukki could tell they were both wrong.

But you laughed. You stood next to him holding your stomach, laughing. And Tsukki joined in.

a/n: the person who requested this suggested to upload it in case it could help someone else. I hope you, who are reading this during a hard time, could smile a little at the boys’ antics 🌱

[lovvecherrymotion]

Hello!! Can I ask for a personal opinion...? I hope you won't mind too much, I really like your posts and didn't know who else to ask :') It's a really amazing fandom here and I love everyone like real friends, even if I haven't met anyone. Some time ago I shared few personal posts which was just me grumbling about life, and got unfollowed by a mutual I really looked up to :") Then few months later it happened again with another mutual. I know not to take it personally but now every time I post anything, especially if it's personal stories, all I think is that people hate seeing it and I should just shut up deactivate completely. I still follow them and I see them making real friends with others, so it kind of stabs me twice I guess.. And even months later I keep questioning what did I do wrong? Am I that annoying, even online where people can just scroll past? I know it's not that serious and I shouldn't care and no one cares either, but it's been eating me up. Actually I don't think there's anything that can be done, sorry to use your ask box to gush out xD I really wanted to be on anon so no one else can unfollow me :') (also I don't think you know them and we don't speak but I love seeing you on my dash). Yeah I don't know what this was either, also sorry to jump you up with this from an early morning xD (You can delete it too I promise it's completely fine, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable)

hi, anon! i'm finally sitting down and chilling for a couple of hours until my next flight, so i can answer

i think we've all felt that way at one point or another. hell, whenever i make a personal post or vent about something i'm always really scared i'm annoying others. i think it'd be really hurtful if i wrote a personal post and had a mutual/friend unfollow me over it and i'd be overthinking it a lot. while i'm a big believer in curating your online space and i don't think unfollowing/blocking has to be *that* personal, i can't recall ever unfollowing a mutual or a friend because they were venting about their problems. once again, people are free to do whatever and they don't have to justify themselves, but it just sounds really shitty. tbh we're not always in the mood to deal with other people's problems, but if it's just a post you can scroll past, you can... just do that

that being said, i don't think it's a you problem. i mean, obviously i don't know who you are, but just from this ask you seem very sweet. i do think joblr is a very nice place, with very nice people, but it can be hard to get a conversation/friendship started, especially if it seems like everyone else is somehow able to make friends and you're not. suddenly it feels like a big thing you're excluded from and while everyone else is having fun you're left wondering if you can be a part of it. i've felt that way - and i still do sometimes ngl. but i can promise you there's plenty of us around here who love to talk to others and make friends. ofc you don't always click with everyone, but i'm sure there are other joblr users who'd love to befriend you 💜

(also thanks for the very kind words! i'm sorry if this is a bit rambly but it's been a long week lol)

[schuylerpeck]

Not an ask but I've been following you for a while and I just wanted to tell you that I love your poems and they never fail to resonate with me. So thank you for that!

this made my day to receive, thank you so much :) <3

[techramonic]

Is this a safe place? Because I just got into a really bad fight with my best friend and I miss her so much

yea sure, of course! don't worry about it. i'm all ears if you need someone who'll listen. I hope you're doing well anon.

[bubacorn]

Hey Bubs, I just wanted to slide in here and leave some stupid thoughts. I‘m on a mission to make people smile today. So maybe this lets you smile a little. Know you‘re loved and important, seen and just a wonderful human being. This is what popped into my mind, while thinking about your blog. It got way longer than I thought.

You don‘t have to like it or answer. I‘m not sure what made me do this, but i hope you don‘t think this is weird🤷‍♀️

Vessel is in a mood today. But the sun is amazing. It‘s shining for the first time in ages. Maybe it will brighten his mood a little, when he goes outside. Maybe they should go to the lake. Yeah, he will ask.

He can’t find the Others. No one is around. Oh, he forgot that they went shopping and he didn‘t want to go. Or something like this. His brain is so foggy today. He just takes his stuff outside and walks down the path to their little lake.

Living here is just amazing. The manor, the garden, the forest surrounding everything and this lake. He missed being in the water and can‘t wait to get rid of his clothes. He hesitates a little, it‘s warm, but maybe the water hadn‘t enough time to warm up a bit. Who cares, after some minutes inside, he will feel better and the cold water won‘t bother him anymore. So one foot in front of the other he tiptoes in and shudders a little. Not as cold as anticipated, but not really warm either. He smiles. III would laugh about his behavior. He would run into the cold and just scream and splash around. He loves him for this. So since he started to think about his partner and his silly antics, he made it in the water until it hit his belly button. Such a weird height to stop. He should just let himself fall back and get it over with. 1,2,3! No, not doing it. He starts laughing. He‘s such a silly guy. Okay. The sun is warming him up and he just walks on. He has to swim a little soon, but in the end it will absolutely be worth it. Just sinking deeper in the water until his face is halfway hidden under the surface. Goosebumps are building up on his skin. He blows out some bubbles. He‘s scaring away all the little silver fishes living in this small oasis of theirs. He likes them, they‘re carefree and they look so beautiful shimmering in the sun. It‘s like little diamonds or stars shining in the sky. Maybe he can use a similar line in one of their songs. He totally has to remember this later, but right now, he just wants to float in the soothing calm of the water. It‘s not deep like the ocean, but it‘s still so quiet and really nice out here. The fishes are back,They‘re flicking around him. He’s on his back and tries to just let loose. They nip at him. They probably think he is a weird log and maybe some algae cling to him, so they try to get at it. Stupid thought, but still, it makes him smile again. And II always says smiling is important, not that he does it often, this little grumpy bastard. But he‘s his lovely grumpy bastard. Or better theirs. That he got lucky like this, should make him happy more often. They just complete each other. Add an important something to the entity they are! Everyone is still himself and just as important as all together, but with their mind connected and their knowledge about Sleep and the gifts they got. It‘s beautiful.

He feels seen. He feels safe. Understood. Everyone should feel like this. IV is the perfect addition to their little heap of silly guys. He sees them and gets them. Vessel doesn‘t know how he does it, because he did it before Sleep transformed him. He got under all their skin and made a home in their hearts. He even gets II to stop working and care a little for himself. III is a little calm koala bear, if IV lets him sit in his lap. And Vessel just feels so secure when he holds him.

IV is the missing piece they found. Or maybe he found them.

hi, love!!! 💜 i don't think it's weird at all, if anything, i'm sorry for taking this long to answer!

i can't even chose a favorite part about this. Vessel simply letting himself be in the water is so lovely. the fish nipping at him, and Vessel blowing bubbles from under the water. i love that image so much! Vessel being all soft and pondering by himself. a lovely piece of writing, thank you for sharing it! i hope you're doing well, you are so loved and wonderful, please keep writing if you like, i will always be happy to read it! 🫂

[stayevildarling]

do you have any advice for someone who is really struggling? x

hi there🫶🏼

I mean it really depends on what you are struggling with. I‘ve been struggling with my mental health for years at this point and honestly the best advice I can give is talk about what you are going through. whether that is with a therapist, friend, loved one or even a random stranger on the internet like we are right now. I can honestly say it takes a lot of work to get out of these sorta things, whether thats journaling, working with a therapist or even medication.

it totally depends on your situation but I can honestly say that it gets better. It takes a while and work and effort but you just gotta keep going, take each day as it comes and focus on the here and now. I‘d be happy to give you more advice and if you need to talk, you can always come to dm me or send me another ask.

[loo-nuh-tik]

Sending you some love and hugs! I hope everything is getting better for you and you're feeling better yourself ❤️

Thank you so much!! 😭❤❤ It actually seems like things are slowly getting better. At least I'm 90% sure it's not the worst case scenario, tho my immune system is still fucked-up... 💀

[tightjeansjavi]

Re: fanfiction as therapy

The person I love most in the world died a few months ago, and recently I wrote a fic (for myself, not to post) where Joel was with me when I found out and just comforted me and talked me through it and said every thing that I needed to hear and didn't get to when I was actually living it.

The idea randomly popped into my head and I felt silly when I started writing it, but it felt so good to do it. I sobbed for hours writing out this imaginary conversation I had with joel about how much they meant to me and how I didn't know how to live without them. And I found that trying to think of what joel would say made it easier for me to rationalize the situation.

It's probably not the healthiest way to cope, but it's definitely not the worst way either!

Nonnie, first I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you are doing better </3 honestly, I think we can all relate in using a fictional character to help us cope through various experiences in life. There is something innately comforting being able to write something that is just for you. You have full control of how the fictional character reacts/converses and it definitely can be healing. I'm so proud of you for pushing through the initial thoughts of feeling silly while writing it, and finding that it made you feel good! Writing is such a powerful tool, and I truly believe that it is something that can act as therapy. We all find ways to cope, and at the end of the day, we're going to lean on the things that make us happy in our times of need. Thank you so much for sharing this experience and I hope you write more in the future! 🤍 -Gi

[emilycollins00]

Hi! I've been wondering about something and maybe you could help me... how would you describe akigumi's voices? Like individually... sorry if this bother you, feel free to ignore if this bothers you. Love your writing!!! 😊😊

Hi!!! 💕

Oh, not a bother at all I promise!! I never thought much about it, but it really IS interesting because despite most of them being so similar imo? they evoque different things so I’m gonna attempt to answer you without using the main word that comes when I think about Akigumi’s voices which is: deep asdfghj <3

🍁 Akigumi's voices 🍁

Omi: Maybe it’s because he’s one of my favourites but still, I would say his voice has a somewhat familiar feeling to it. To me from the beginning it feels as if he’s doing his best to sound well-modulated; the type of voice you would use to not scare someone -extremely gentle, caring and warm.  

Taichi: Taichi’s voice is the most distinctive and it matches him incredibly well if I may – clearly energetic and squeaky when he gets excited. He has a rich, cheery tone that contrasts so well against Azami’s. It makes sense to give it to him as the most expressive and jovial one.

Azami: Azami’s voice is definitely quite low despite being one of the youngest! Which to me links just as well with calm and smooth. Maybe mature at times, and a bit sleepy even. As if he’s trying to make it seem as if he doesn’t pay much attention to certain things and yet he does.

Juza: His voice presents itself displaying the first impression I’d guess anyone could get from such a big boy; It’s curt, and tense at times, but if you take notice it could also feel rough yet passionate and gravelly calm -sonorous even, which is something I really enjoy.

Banri: Banri’s voice comes to me a mix of urbane, and somewhat sardonic at times. It’s also kinda distinctive from the others like Taichi, especially in Akigumi’s songs to me? He has this sensuous feel as well, mischievous at times overall sounding truly confident when he speaks.

Sakyo: Hard-edged, but despite that methodical, authoritative, and business-like, no matter what he’s talking about, which makes it so much fun when they are arguing about nonsense asdfghkl. I would also say stern, but mild and protective when he wants and everyone at the dorm behaves.

All in all, Seiyuus are indeed giving.

[heartwasglass]

Just sending some love and a warm hug in this time of year to say "you're amazing and I'm glad you exist." ♡

Oh 🥹 how sweet, thank you my dearest Chloé ♡ you really never fail to brighten everyone's day, do you? You are so truly an angel with a heart of peony-petaled softness, and I adore you wholeheartedly. Pls take extra care of yourself during these gloomy & cold days ⋆｡❆

[a-slut-for-vegaspete]

💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 (soph, i think you've become one of the most important people in my life at the moment. thank you so much for everything you said to me. i'm sorry for not knowing how to resonate your positive energy. but i love you. and take care always. <3 <3)

Aww Na, you're so incredibly sweet! Thank you so much darling and right back at you <3 I'm so lucky to have met you online. You're so fun to talk to and I'm forever in awe of your talent. Thank you for sharing your creations and stories with me and the world <3 You're such a positive force in my life and I'm so happy we're friends! Love you too Na <3

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

hihi vall<3

Not to be a bother..

and sorry if I made u uncomfy but.. a random tall masked guy at a mall smacked my butt so, what should have done? I have no idea what to do then I just panicked and didn't do anything..

Hi babes 💜💜💜

Oh my god babe. Are you okay? That's the more important thing you being okay. I mean I would have reported it to security and have them look at the camera and file a police report. There should be camera all around the mall and they would have caught the incident. Even where the camera of the guy exiting the building because they can see where he came from. I think maybe going with people to the mall and avoid going by yourself too love. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I can't imagine the amount of anxiety you went through. Please take it easy on yourself. Be grounded and centered. I'm sending you lots of love

[lovvecherrymotion]

i didn't notice you were also doing the ask game, oops

🤭😇🤩😎😘👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

that's too cute 🥺💗

ultimate ask game

[the-lonelybarricade]

as a people pleaser myself who just went through an asthmatic bronquitis, I am sending you all my boundaries strength so you can take that day and go rest because you NEED

Boundaries are so hard bestie, thank you for lending me your strength because I really need it! And i'm more than willing to return the favor next time you need to ask someone for something that you're totally valid and justified asking for 😌💕

I also can't imagine going through this with asthma!! That sounds so scary 🥺 I hope you're feeling better and have recovered!!

[twopoppies]

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[savebylou]

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