#Sell Your House Fast In Florida
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sellhousenowcash · 11 months ago
Text
1 note · View note
sellmyhousevolusia · 1 year ago
Text
We Buy Houses FL | Sell My House Volusia County
We are a real estate solutions and investment firm that specializes in helping homeowners get rid of burdensome houses fast. We are investors and problem solvers who can buy your house fast with a fair all cash offer.
Visit us - https://www.sellmyhousevolusia.com/
0 notes
mikebuysanyhouse · 2 years ago
Text
Sell your House Fast in Florida
Selling a house can be a daunting task, especially if you need to do it quickly. However, with the right strategy, you can sell your house fast in Florida. Here are a few tips to help you get started:
Tumblr media
1. Price it right: Make sure your asking price is in line with similar homes in your area. Overpricing your home can be a turn-off to potential buyers and prolong the sales process.
2. Make it look great: Make sure your home is clean and well-maintained. Consider hiring a professional cleaner or staging company to help make your home look its best.
By following these tips, you can increase your chances of selling your home quickly in Florida. Remember to be patient, stay positive, and take the necessary steps to make your home attractive to buyers.
0 notes
webuyhousesflorida · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Website: https://www.expressresolutions.com/ Email Address: [email protected]
0 notes
amabellasblog · 7 months ago
Text
How to Sell a House Fast in Florida?
Master the Selling Game: Your Ultimate Guide to Selling a House in Florida
Selling a house in Florida is an adventure filled with possibilities and challenges. With its diverse real estate market and unique selling points, successfully navigating the process demands strategic planning and execution. In this comprehensive guide, we'll walk you through the essential steps and insider tips to ace the sale of your house in the Sunshine State.
Understanding the Florida Real Estate Scene:
Before diving into the selling process, it's crucial to grasp the dynamics of the Florida real estate market. From vibrant urban hubs to serene coastal havens, Florida offers a plethora of housing options to cater to diverse lifestyles. Get acquainted with local market trends, property values, and buyer preferences in your area to make informed decisions every step of the way.
Preparing Your Home for Sale:
First impressions count, especially in Florida's competitive real estate landscape. Invest time in preparing your home for sale by boosting its curb appeal and addressing any maintenance issues. Consider enlisting the help of professional stagers and photographers to present your property in its best light and captivate potential buyers.
Pricing Your Home Strategically:
Setting the right asking price is paramount to a successful home sale in Florida. Conduct a thorough comparative market analysis to gauge the value of similar properties in your vicinity and collaborate with a seasoned real estate agent to determine a competitive price aligned with current market dynamics.
Effective Property Marketing:
In today's digital era, effective marketing is key to selling a house in Florida. Harness the power of online platforms, social media channels, and professional networks to reach a broad audience of potential buyers. Invest in captivating visuals, virtual tours, and compelling property descriptions to showcase the unique features and amenities of your home.
Navigating the Sales Journey:
Once your home hits the market, be prepared to navigate the sales journey with confidence. Respond promptly to inquiries, schedule showings and open houses, and consider offering virtual tours to cater to remote buyers. Collaborate closely with your real estate agent to evaluate offers, negotiate terms, and ensure a seamless closing process.
Closing the Deal:
Closing on a home sale in Florida involves a series of legal and financial intricacies that require meticulous attention. From reviewing contracts and disclosures to coordinating inspections and appraisals, your real estate agent will guide you through each phase of the closing process to facilitate a successful transaction.
Conclusion:
Selling a house in Florida is an exciting venture that comes with its share of rewards and challenges. By following these essential steps and tapping into the expertise of a trusted real estate professional, you can navigate the selling process with ease and achieve your objectives in Florida's dynamic real estate market.
0 notes
wearefloridahousebuyers · 1 year ago
Text
We Are Florida House Buyers
Tumblr media
At We Are Florida House Buyers, our mission is to simplify the process of selling your home in Florida, making it faster, easier, and hassle-free. We understand you're serious about selling your house, and we're prepared to offer you a fair all-cash deal. The best part is that we buy your home as-is, so you don't have to worry about repairs or cleanup. Our reputation as trusted and reliable local homebuyers in Florida speaks for itself.
We're not limited to specific locations or price ranges; we buy houses anywhere in Florida and other parts of the state. Our direct house-buying process is straightforward; to top it off, we take care of all the closing costs. If you're ready to sell your Florida property, take the first step today by filling out the fast response form or call us at (407) 993-1147.
No matter your situation, we can assist you. Whether you're facing foreclosure, going through a divorce, relocating, dealing with an upside-down mortgage, or struggling with liens, we can help. It doesn't matter if the house is occupied, vacant, or in poor condition. We even work with owners who have inherited unwanted properties or cannot sell for various reasons. From houses needing repairs to those damaged by fire or with difficult rental tenants, We Are Florida House Buyers has solutions for you.
Say goodbye to the stress and hassle of selling a house independently or through an agent. Selling directly to us saves you time and money while providing a convenient and straightforward solution. With fast closing options available in as little as seven days, you can finally free yourself from the burden of a property causing stress.
Sell Your Florida House Fast!
1 note · View note
mikebarnard · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sell your House Fast in Florida
If you need to sell your house fast in Florida, we can help! We buy houses in Florida in any condition, and we can close quickly, giving you the cash you need to move on to the next chapter of your life. Whether you're facing foreclosure, going through a divorce, or simply need to sell your house quickly, we're here to help.
1 note · View note
spectrumhouses · 2 years ago
Text
Speedy Solutions: How to Sell Your Florida House Fast in 2023
Tumblr media
We hope this gives you a good idea of how to find a Sell Your House Fast Florida. We may have mentioned some houses that were out of your price range and some that aren’t even in your area, but don’t let that discourage you. Keep looking at houses until you find the right one for your needs. Remember what we said about (FL) Florida? They are a great place to look for deals on homes,By considering the different options available to you and choosing the method that works best for your situation, you can sell your home quickly and move on to the next chapter of your life.
Visit More Info: https://cashhomeinc.com/speedy-solutions-how-to-sell-your-florida-house-fast-in-2023/
0 notes
stargazing-imagines · 1 year ago
Text
Summer Fling — Conrad Fisher & fem!reader
Tumblr media
Description: this is your last summer at cousins before moving to a different state, but will this the only summer that you will have with Conrad?
Warnings: mentions of summer fling, but other than that nothing except bad writing
Fandom: Summer I turned pretty
“My parents just put in a offer on a house in Florida.” You said “we’re leaving at the end of summer.”
It wasn’t even the start of the summer and your parents are already talking about moving. You were at the pool outside of the beach house with belly.
“So your not coming back to cousins?” Asked belly, you shook your head
“I don’t know, my parents want to settle down for a while, they may put the beach house up for sale, but then again they may want to come back during retirement,” You said “Besides, I’ll be off to college soon so who knows when I’ll have time to come back.”
"'But you can't leave," said belly "what about Conrad?"
"What about him?" You asked as you stared at him in the distance
"I don't know maybe the fact that Conrad has been in love with you since we were kids.” Said belly “come on are you just now finding that out?”
“I was busy ok!” You said as you placed your hands up in surrender “college apps have been a butt and I still can’t believe I have to finish them while on vacation.”
“What colleges have you applied to?” Asked belly
“Let’s see, finch, brown, Princeton… the list goes on.”
The two of you chuckled before going back to talking
——
“Conrad, when are you going to man up and tell her that you like her?” Asked Steven “you know, every guy will be wanting her this summer so you better make your move fast.”
The thought of you with another guy has stirred a feeling inside of Conrad, but as the person he is. He’s afraid of hurting you
“You know I can’t.” Said Conrad “besides she wouldn’t like me back.”
“How do you know?” Asked Steven “oh that’s right, because you haven’t asked her out yet, I can feel the tension between you two you know.”
“Hey guys, Conrad is your mom home?” You asked
“No, I think her a laurel went into town or something, what you need?”
“My mom is making a cake and she wanted to know if she had some extra sugar.” You said as you smiled at the end of that sentence, Conrad got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, motioning you to follow him.
“Thanks.” You said, before you could walk out the door, Conrad stopped you.
“Hey… are you seeing anyone?”
“No… why do you ask?” You asked as you smiled, curious about his question.
“Do you want to maybe go out with me?”
You stood there, taken aback at what he said. You were about to speak, that was until your mouth goes dry
“I need some water…” you said as you walked to the sink “you don’t think?”
“No she won’t mind.” Said Conrad
You nodded your head before grabbing a glass and filling it with water, then you chugged it down before setting it down, walking in front of the island in the kitchen
“I’m sorry did you just ask me out?” You asked with a smile on your face
“Yeah… so?”
“Look… I would love to go out with you, but it’s just… I’m wrapped up in college applications this summer and I can’t really hang out a lot.” You said “besides I don’t think I’ll be back at cousins next summer if I’m going to be honest.”
“Why’s that?” Asked Conrad, you sighed
“My parents are selling the house and getting a retirement house in Florida while I go away to school.”
“Well… who says that it has to be a relationship?”
“What are you suggesting?” You asked
��—
It has been a few weeks since you and Conrad had decided to have a “summer fling”, at the moment you were at the beach tanning, when all the sudden your mom called out for you
“Y/n!” Shouted your mom as she waved something in her hand trying to get your attention. You lowered your sunglasses at your mom as you got up gathering your things.
“What is it?” You asked as you sat your stuff down on the porch of your parents summer house.
“It’s a letter, from Princeton!” Said your mother “open it!”
You took the envelope from your mothers hand as you ripped it up, when you read the paper your jaw dropped
“No way!” You said looking at your mother “I got in!”
“Congratulations!” Shouted your mother as she hugged you “I need to tell everyone about this, my daughter is going to Princeton!”
You chuckled before walking over to Susannah’s summer house, you were wanting to tell Conrad and everyone the good news
——
“No way! You got into Princeton?!” Asked Steven
“Yep, I guess you’ll be joining me after you graduate next year.”
“Hopefully.” Said Steven “but other then that, congratulations, you deserve this.”
At that, Steven have your a hug which you received back
“Where’s Conrad? I want to tell him the good news,”
“He’s in his room.”
“Cool!” You said then you walked upstairs to find Conrad, when you did something or someone grabbed your hand before you could continue walking down the hall
“I missed you.” Said Conrad as he gave you a kiss on the back of your hand
“Aww, I’m flattered.” You said “but I can’t do this today, I actually came over with good news, I’m going to Princeton.” You said as you held up your acceptance letter
“That’s great!” Said Conrad as he gave you a hug “I guess you a Steven will be going to the same college.”
“Yep.” You said
“Well… I’m happy for you.” Said Conrad as he gave you a hug
“Thank you.” You said as you hugged him back
“This isn’t going to change anything is it?” Asked Conrad as he pulled away slightly from the hug
“Hopefully not.” You said as you had a reassuring voice
“Good, because I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
With that he gave you a hug again
——
The summer I turned pretty masterlist
325 notes · View notes
theygotbitchesinmedia · 4 months ago
Text
ask dump
i have a couple dozen unanswered asks on this blog, most of which i believe are media recommendations, so i'm going to go through those now in a batch!
if you haven't seen it already We Are Lady Parts would be a fantastic recommendation for this blog. I started it last week and really love it. It's about a struggling punk Muslim girls band who recruit the extremely anxious, goody-two-shoes Amina to be their lead guitarist. It balance its moments of drama really well with the comedy and all of the women in the band get to be deeply weird in different and endlessly charming ways. My favorite is Amina because of her very relatable habit to have elaborate silly daydreams about anything and everything. Good show with some really good women!
I've heard good things about this one! Adding it to the list
I can't remember if you take recs for things in progress or not but the webtoon Katlaya Rising is currently the high point of my week, the art style POPS and it is jam-packed with girls and girls who love girls
I will always read things in progress 👍 I honestly in some ways prefer getting into stuff before it's finished. Like an animal with one of those food bowls that stops you from eating too fast. Added to the list.
Please read Villain Initialization!!!! The female characters are really good!!!!!!!!!
Looking at the cover and description for this one it seems like most of the female cast is gonna be side characters. i'll add it to the list but itll probably be reallllly back burner unless someone wants to go to bat hard for it and sway me
if youre taking recommendations bittersweet con panna is a cute yuri manhwa and hacks is an insane tvshow about millenial comedy writer who got cancelled on twitter and a beautiful old standup comic about to lose her vegas residency.
added both! never heard of bittersweet con panna but my sister has been going really hard for hacks and i feel like i owe it to her to watch that sooner rather than later because of all the media im always trying to force onto her
"Kevin Can F*** Himself" on AMC is fantastic and has some really interesting female protags, I recommend. Might be a similar vibe to On Becoming a God in Central Florida actually!
Already on the list!
i'd like to second the rec for no home, probably one of the greatest webtoons of all time
one moth ago anon i can safely say you were correct about this it is certainly one of the greatest webtoons of all time. i do think its not really About women but i get why you all wanted me to read it enough to push it
@whatasmoothgardener Reccing a short manga I've been reading recently called Is Kichijoji the Only Place to Live. Its a manga about twin girls who run a small real estate company in Tokyo from the POV of their clients. It has a unique art style, its female character focused, and it teaches you about the different places in Tokyo. However its kinda episodic.
I don't mind episodic at all. Cool to see female manga protags who arent stick thin! added to the list
@phoenixfangs i got into a webtoon the other day called nevermore and considered recommending it to u, but i second guessed myself like oh what if its not worth recommending and its stupid actually, BUT i had a dream last night that u were talking about it so i think i have to at least put it on ur radar, if it isnt already xD what happens if u take edgar allen poe stories and make it about lesbians? u get the webtoon nevermore ❤️ theres an actual Plot to it too im not trying to sell it based on tropes, i just cant describe it better than the actual synopsis/description on webtoon, so id say its worth a glance!
At first glance i'm not sure how to my personal tastes this owuld be but i feel like i have maybe been unfairly biased against popular webtoons in that front. added to the list !
@counttwinkula listen i know your "media to get around to" list is forever long but i reread the haunting of hill house (the book) for my podcast and eleanor and theodora just. won't stop touching each other. some of the most classic toxic yuri imo. also the 1963 film adaptation (the haunting) is so good
ill always appreciate a horror recommendation from one of my learned Horror Mutuals. added both!
if it changes anything, you can find the main stories of arknights and limbus company here and here respectively without downloading the game: [retcons dot github dot io slash limbus-storylogs] [akgcc dot github dot io slashcc slash story dot html hashtag main] (sorry it wont let me send links) i totally understand if u think its too much trouble, but i do think both games have very good female characters
I'm sorry... i just cant go down this road.... it's a path i'm not willing ot walk. if i was going to read the stories for a gacha game i wasn't playing i would just go read shoujo kageki revue starlight re:LIVE. which i havent been able to make myself do. so its just not gonna end up happening
have you heard of tangle tower… it’s a relatively short murder mystery click and point game about two families & their secrets. the art is gorgeous + the game is fully voiced, and the protagonist + his assistant have a dynamic that reminds me of the classic ace attorney ‘lawyer + weird girl’ duos. the majority of the cast are women, and the game features some of the Girls Of All Time. highly recommend, esp since you’re an ace attorney fan
Added to the list!
if you’re trying to flesh out the book section, i’d like to recommend three parts dead by max gladstone! admittedly it’s been a hot second since I’ve read it so i can’t speak on the quality of the writing itself, but the plot and the worldbuilding had some interesting stuff. the novel follows tara, a necromancer in a world where doing magic is more akin to being a lawyer, who’s hired to resurrect a god. the book is the first in a series, and the books that follow have some other interesting female protagonists + canonical queer women if you enjoy it o7
Sounds neat! Added to the list
ok i still have some more from back in fucking April that i didnt manage to get to. but im getting distracted now
15 notes · View notes
bearballing · 8 months ago
Text
things about vegas trip that 99% of people would not think is interesting:
nevada does not have painted lane divider lines on the roads, just groups of the reflector things
vegas is one of the only places in the usa still producing new neon signs because it's The Culture
even shit like denny's, walgreens, in n out burger have neon on their signs
we drove around 3 states and saw maybe 3 churches in total. in florida i can walk to 3 churches from my house.
don't ever try to rent a car in vegas during march madness and spring break.
saw a surprisingly small amount of cops around ? like there was one sat in a ghost town in california. not many around vegas. in florida they're practically wildlife.
the desert is fucken wimdy
all state line signs have places on the road to pull off onto to get pictures.
i-15 is the easiest highway i've been on and we were like wow we will NEVER have it this good again. (our regular highway is 75 and it's fucking bullshit)
50% of all cars in vegas have california plates
there is a fallout new vegas day every year at the pioneer saloon in goodsprings.
the pioneer saloon in goodsprings also has a mini fallout musem full of things left by visitors and two full guestbooks of messages written by people. i drew a little trans flag by someone's thing saying "[you have become addicted to estrogen]"
there is a billboard on the strip that currently says some bullshit about repenting for your sins. in las vegas. which is nicknamed sin city. on the big touristy road chock full of casinos.
there are quick marriage places everywhere. a fucking denny's has one. i Will be posting the sign on qualitysigns.
they got slot machines at the airport
the luxor is a static electricity factory
at hoover dam they have restrooms like out on the actual top of the dam. the men's is on the nevada side and the women's is on the arizona side.
boulder city, closest town to the dam, has like 75847385 businesses that are like "the best dam x"
the shortest toilets in the fucking world, that are not intentionally designed that way, are in the chevron gas station in primm, nevada.
The Lottery Store on the state line was closed and there were many people passing through who were all gutted it was closed. nevada does not have a lottery (because the casinos don't want more competition), so people go to california for it.
i think [big redacted work client here in florida] is stealing ideas from the Downtown Container Park.
someone is putting googly eyes on a bunch of signs.
they sell booze and booze milkshakes at the fast food places in the casinos.
we got dirt samples from a bunch of different places we visited and it was all completely different dirt
i took a rock from hoover dam and it flagged my bag at TSA. the guy was like "oh it's a rock lol ok you can go"
i took fucking 1400 photos. i do not have that many irl photos on my pc COMBINED
8 notes · View notes
noodleblade · 9 months ago
Text
Miscellaneous Tag Game (stolen title <3)
thank you bestie:3 @searchingfortheuniverse I'll be working on this while im on and off phone calls~
A band you don’t like that many others do: UM idk...my music taste is all over the place and I really only know the bands i think?? oh- maybe Mother Mother, only because I have not bothered to listen to their music past Junkrat hype videos and that's probably tainted my view a little. For better or for worse.
A childhood memory that you remember vividly: during a summer in greece, idk how, but I got roped into selling watermelons off the side of the road. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7, but I remember I would put the watermelon in a plastic bag and the farmers thought it was really funny because that's such a...united states thing...to bag 1 whole watermelon in plastic. Anyways, they paid me in cucumber slices with salt.
Least favorite animal and why: HUH LEAST. I'm not a huge fan of like reptiles? Specifically those smaller than a bread box. Too fast, too squirm. Im worried I'll crush them in my hands. (im thinking of specifically florida geckos...idk they are cute but i freak out trying to hold them).
Hot fandom take: just because something is popular and fandom-wide accepted doesn't mean it is good. and not agreeing with it/wanting to engage in it doesn't mean you or your own opinions are bad. the monopoly on accepted 1 true canon is boring.
Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: I try an rotate my jewelry around but I'm usually wearing a few rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. My favorites are the rings. They are my mom's old ones and I typically wear the same two every day. One is a gold key of greece and the other is a thin black bar but the sides have really small thin heart cut outs.
A movie others liked but you didn’t: HMMMMM probably the new star wars trilogy. felt unnecessary and i just didn't like it? big shruggies
Three things you love about yourself: my writing- its something that I enjoy the most in the world and something that I can claim as mine. I also think I'm pretty funny in a sillay way which is poggers. I like my openness to trying things. Think that's helped make me more well-rounded. I hope so at least.
A place you hope to visit in the future and why: HMMMMM. I want to visit Japan again. For a new place, I want to go to South America. Peru maybe??? Mexico would also be nice. So that's what I'm gearing up towards next.
An actor that gets on your nerves and why: Uh Matt Smith? No reason behind this. but I see his block head and kind of just look away.
Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? I have a lot of little house projects I finally feel like tackling which is exciting. Ive lived in my house for almost 2.5 years and still havent felt like parts of it are complete yet.
Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: oof I lowkey kind of hate saying things I don't like on here. bad experiences in the past when people were upset I didn't like a thing they did and got mad at me. But uhhh not the biggest fan of most rodimus ships? but I think mega/rod is my least favorite of them. sorry!
What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? hahaahahahhahahah can you believe Game of Thrones wasn't the most toxic???? it was jjba. I got put on a ban list which was kind of funny. I also got kind of show-ponyed in a toxic discord server for a while which has completely ruined me in the ability to act normal on discord outside of my irl friends. that account is deleted but the ao3 is still circling around.
List three things you find beautiful about life: Friends and family- sometimes I want to kill but I really do love them so so much. I like creating things and creating things with people. I also really like my area as far as nature goes. the beach to swamp ratio sings to me.
Any dreams for the future? I want to go on a really long hike. Maybe like a 2 day one? (< says the person that has gone on a max 2 hour hike before). Also just working on my original fiction again. I miss those fellas.
How are you really feeling today? Motivated!!!! Im a little groggy still, but I've been really excited about life and betterment lately so its overcoming my sleepy brain.
Tags: feel free to do or not: @honkytonka, @elmonstro, @huanted-dennys, @feral-birb-husband, @solarstormstuff @anyone else who wants to!! I'd be happy to read them:3
8 notes · View notes
iampikachuhearmeroar · 9 months ago
Text
I know I should stop using fb watch so much, considering that so many of the videos are there to induce negative reactions and make you angry, and some vids are also incredibly irrelevant to me.... like real estate for example.
so sometimes, I get this snooty american real estate agent who sells to luxury buyers in god-knows-where america. like why the fuck is she in my feed when im a poor baby millennial.... who will NEVER afford a house in AUSTRALIA, let alone the in US????
anyway. the other day, I got a video from this lady in my feed. she was going on about 5 things to NEVER do in a job interview with me at my company. I was like. huh. okay. why not listen as a jobhunter. but whooooo boy, the first point she had was a red flag. she opens the video (honestly, for rage engagement, lbr) with "NEVER act like YOU NEED to interview the interviewer. HOW DARE you question me???? you bring NOTHING to the table if you act like that in MY business!!!! that's a disgusting amount of audacity that you think YOU ARE important enough to question ME, a successful real estate agent who sells luxury house listings in fadaheim florida (I made that up I don't remember where she is). come in and be as subservient as possible, and kiss my ass for the entire interview. do NOT ask me what I bring to the table. I bring it all and you work for me. end of and get out, if you think you NEED to question me. you are scum and need to work for the bare minimum, beg and scrape, before you even level a question at ME. remember I am a FAVOUR by even bothering to interview and consider hiring you. you are doing NOTHING for me."
like. sheesh woman. employers/bosses such as you are the reason that no one trusts employers anymore. why people hop jobs every few years. because who the fuck wants to work for someone who won't answer a simple question like "what's your work life balance like?" or "where do you see this business heading in the next 5 years???" or whatever else. you have no answers except "turning over millions of dollars of profits on million dollar houses and pushing out whoever DARES to question me, the all-knowing god of luxury real estate in florida". is pure audacity, and although I hate using the word, narcissism.
my point is, if you apply for a place like this, run. run for the high hills. you will be so burnt out by the end of it and probably traumatised, that it's the best not sacrificing your mental and physical health. although i know the job market is impossible right now (considering that I applied for a local call centre with the same attitude just 2 weeks ago, but they fucked me around so much woth the over the top anal background check that I didn't even start AT ALL last week (thank god once I got reports from people I know that's its a shit place to work)), that it's basically impossible NOT to take a job like that.
but this woman and people like her are showing their true colours right away. run, run, run. as fast as you can and call yourself the gingerbread man at a hopefully better (not possible really) workplace environment...... than what this woman and people like her will create and perpetuate in toxicity and unhealthy hustle culture bullshit. ALWAYS have the so-called "audacity" to question employers at the end of or throughout your interviews.
1 note · View note
mikebuysanyhouse · 2 years ago
Text
Sell my House in Florida FAST
Tumblr media
The Mike Buys Any House Team is “A+ Rated” with the Better Business Bureau with video testimonials and five-star Google, Facebook, and Yelp reviews. We’re Florida’s Super Cash Home Buyer!
Our offers are always cash, absolutely free, with no obligation or hassles. So, if you’re looking to sell your house for cash in Florida, give us a call today!
0 notes
kramlabs · 1 year ago
Text
Hi I’m running for President.
I’m famous and my family is famous.
We never have worked at a fast food restaurant or cleaned our own house. Not even once.
Listen I need to level with you all. This has gone on way too long.
Politely.
My campaign and my fake opponent’s campaign do not give a solitary fuck about you.
At all. At all. At all.
Listen, personally I think some of you are super, but most of the people that we work for view you as just dumb gullible marks and it sucks that we have to come out here and do a song and dance with these jackals with the microphones and cameras and Ivy League thought police and World Economic Forum sociopaths.
We are all actors on a stage and sometimes we get the nod and prance out here and perform. We are all vetted by the Men Behind the Curtain who own us, they own you, wherever you work, wherever you live, wherever you bank…they own us all.
Everybody’s got a boss.
We have to come out here and do this stupid song and dance and emote and we hire PR douchebags from Yale to tell you stories, but the real story is Fuck you.
We don’t care if the military ran a live exercise and tested out toxic drugs on you, we don’t give a rat’s ass if your grandma was suffocated in the hospital or your newborn was born dead.
We don’t care if we murder thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions or billions. In Ukraine or the Middle East or in Ohio or Florida or Texas or New York City, in America or in Kanada or Aussie or Fraahhhnnncee or China or Korea or who gives a shit.
We just don’t.
We need you to worship us and make excuses for us and you will because you are useless eater gullible hapless dolts at our mercy and we are elites.
Some of us think there are too many of you and are aligned with our real bosses and some of us just stick our heads in the sands and go along because whatever. What do you care? Said Rockefeller to Aaron Russo.
We have minders and bankers who have arranged everything in advance, and we don’t give a fuck if our minders set trains on fire or push jabs into your precious little useless eater kids, or make up rules where Grandpa gets to die with a warm glove of water on his hand, again, we just don’t give a fuck. At all. At all. At all.
We are not going to investigate anybody, nobody is going to jail, we are going to parties and our Yalies and our Harvards and Stanfords and our MITs and our Gleaming Talking Heads are going to look at you with fake sympathy and “feel your pain” like that Stanley Tucci character in Hunger Games and then we are just going to keep murdering y’all because again…we just don’t give a fuck.
Maybe some of our True Believer minions do give a fuck, but they will sell your ass out in a heartbeat if we just give them the charismatic song and dance at a private dinner and make them feel pretty and look in their eyes and say, “we did the best we could”.
Dumbasses.
We will be unveiling new injections soon and we’ve already paid off or threatened your fake resistance to spin this as a positive and they do so as instructed. We will be dropping the hammer soon with a new fake pathogen and a banking collapse and probably a cyber attack and some new cancer causing vectors because we have to get rid of most of you.
We have satellite phones and bunkers and stuff. Most of our Middle Managers will get a rude shock that they don’t get the golden ticket into the bunkers. Maybe you all can tear them to shreds for us as we watch on the monitors and fine dine and clink glasses.
We will also probably need to escalate world war with Russia and then China, but we’ve got the elites of those nations on board as well. The fun part is all the saber rattling and watching all those jackals with the cameras salivate for war.
In the meantime, we have prepared some Tucker Carlson and Russell Brand and Kim Iversen and some good old Pfizer Bad rah rah, and for those of you truly stupid dolts hanging on for dear life, the old legacy media favorites.
There may be some race riots and food shortages and we may try to swing a trans-riot for shits and giggles and we are definitely monitoring you everywhere, so don’t think that you can run some kind of resistance.
I feel like it’s important to say honest things because Truth is like a lion.
Now go out there and vote harder!
Just kidding, we’ll give you whoever we feel like and if you don’t like it, that’s too bad.
3 notes · View notes
amabellasblog · 7 months ago
Text
Sell Your Home Fast in Orlando
Introducing Robert Michael Realty – your prime stop for seamlessly selling your home in Orlando, FL! If you're pondering listing your house, let me share why Robert Michael is your ultimate ally on this vital journey.
Primarily, Robert Michael Realty isn't just another agency. With deep-rooted experience in Orlando's housing market, they've perfected their skills. Whether you're a novice seller or a seasoned pro, their adept team comprehends the local market's nuances like no other.
What truly distinguishes Robert Michael is their steadfast commitment to ensuring your selling experience is stress-free. Selling a home can often be overwhelming, but with Robert Michael at your service, you can relax. Their agents offer personalized service tailored to your distinct needs, guiding you through each step with professionalism and care.
But that's not all. Robert Michael Realty understands the significance of maximizing your home's value. From employing top-tier marketing tactics to showcasing your property optimally, they leave no stone unturned in ensuring your home shines in Orlando's competitive market.
And let's not overlook their local expertise paired with a global reach. Whether it's a cozy cottage or a chic downtown condo, Robert Michael knows precisely how to position your property for triumph. Their vast network of buyers and investors ensures your home garners the exposure it warrants, irrespective of potential buyers' locations.
So, if you're ready to sell your home swiftly, effortlessly, and at the best possible price, turn to Robert Michael Realty. With their unmatched expertise and steadfast commitment to client satisfaction, trust them to bring your selling aspirations to fruition. Contact Robert Michael today and embark on a triumphant home sale journey in Orlando, FL!
Why hesitate? If you're prepared to swiftly sell your house in Orlando and embark on the next chapter of your life, reach out to Robert Michael Realty today. Let them transform your selling dreams into reality!
0 notes