#Seeing both forms side by side is kinda sad

[klyette]

" PLEASE, ITS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH "

Hashtags # : dubcon , perverted man/men , handjob , naive ! reader , fem ! reader : you/your prns.reader having boobs mentioned n pussy , mentioned almost dying , boobjob , pervert ! character , multiple x reader , could be seen as an "au" depending on the character (s) !

Notes : ughh<<33 my pussy :x if u know what this smut is kinda inspired by, I love u <3

The Pervert! Who had a crush on you, his face flushing when he sees your tits pressing against your top, squashed against it. How he wishes it was his face between your tits or his hands squeezing them !

The Pervert! Who groans when he gets stabbed his lower stomach, his top teeth gritting against his bottom ones. You being the sweetheart, you are~ you helped him, getting him to safety, your cute hands touching his body and his lewd hands desiring to touch your ass.

The Pervert! Who grins when you aren't looking, he has the perfect plan to get you do what he wants, you of course will do it, you love giving him a helping hand. He does let out a groan of pain, the stab wound making it hard to think for a moment until your tits bring him out of the pain.

The Pervert! Who whine stay he can't fell his legs so you rub his ankle and he tells you more higher, your hands now rubbing his knee and he tells you higher so you go higher. Your hands rubbing near his crotch, he goes hard when he looks at you, your cute face focusing on him.

The Pervert! Who moans and groans, you smile and think that he is getting better when he is just getting harder, he feels bold so he moves your hand and you look in confusion. His hand unzipping his pants, you blink and your mouth opens in shock, your face darkens and you flush in embarrassment. He looks at you and puts on a sad face, pouting.

The Pervert! Who begs and pleas you so that you can save his life by giving him head, which he doesn't say out loud but he said that you will have to use your pretty hand to rub his dick so that he lives.

The Pervert! Who begs you "C'mon {name}... It's matter of life and death... You have to help me.." he said, faking a tear and you agree, being naive, and not understanding that you rubbing one out for him will not make him live.

The Pervert! Who throws his head and closes his eyes, groaning as your hand goes in a slow pace, he takes groans in pain so you can go faster. Your pretty hand wrapped around his dick, he groans some more in pain before he asks you if you suck on his tip.

The Pervert! Who leads how you suck, he says that you have to do it or else he will be in more pain, you suck and your confused still he finds it hot. Your pretty lips wrapped around his tip, your hand still stroking the rest of his cock, he groans in pleasure.

The Pervert! Who looks at your lips and your ass as you're on your knees to suck him off, your dress showing off your ass in great ways. He wants to hold your ass and make you bounce on his dick, his hands touching your pretty bottom as you go wild on him. Oh, so much pre-cum is leaking out~

The Pervert! Who stares at your tits, being more squashed in your top, he grabs your head and shakes you slightly so your moving. Due to that, your tits are slightly jiggling when your body moves, he lets out a growl at the sight.

The Pervert! Who has another idea when he sees your tits, he wants to cum on your perfect breasts. His white painting your tits, he groans in pain(faking) and says that what you are doing isn't enough so you panic and go faster. He finds it cute.

The Pervert! Who makes slight remarks about your tits, and giving hints that he wants them to rub his dick, your mouth forms a "o" when you realize, you bite your finger before you take off your top and bra. Your tits are out and you look away, he pulls you closer, your breast touching his tip and he groans.

The Pervert! Who makes you place your hands on both sides so he can place his dick between them, he grins and slides his dick in. His dick being nicely hugged by your tits, he tells you to move them so you do. He grips at his pants and makes you go faster.

The Pervert! Who doesn't warn you when he cums, shocking you when your face and tits are painted with his seed, some of it landing on your mouth. You blink and you pull away, your legs are trembling and your hands are shaking slightly. You fall back and your legs are spread, good thing you don't wear a short under your skirt because he can see your panties and sure are they damp~

#: CHILDE , shidou , gojo , TOJI , aiku , tengen , sampo , aventurine , kaveh , kaiser , solomon , asmo , dazai , nikolai + your faves + other fandoms !

©klyette : do not claim

[iateyourparents]

hello! could you write johnnie guilbert fluff? maybe a scenario where him and fem!reader are spending a day together (filming a video, doing random stuff) just being two people in love and jake and tara tease them and call them a married couple

deaf, mute and blind | j.g.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x fem!reader

summary: you, johnnie and jake are recording a new challenge video.

warnings: use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry but english isn’t my first language)

an: hi, thank you <33 hope you like it!

pictures are from pinterest :)

“Hi guys, it’s me, Tara, and today I’m here with Jake, y/n and Johnnie.” Tara introduced you and you all waved to the camera.

“Hi!” you greeted her viewers.

“Today I’m gonna torture my guests… No, but I wish.” she pouted and you all laughed “Today, my guests will be playing into deaf, mute and blind but…they will have many challenges and quests to do throughout the day. But they main goal is to do shopping and bake me cookies! Any words guys?”

“I hope I get deaf, cause I don’t think I can go much longer with them talking.” you rolled your eyes looking at Jake and your boyfriend.

“Hey!” Johnnie gasped pretending to be offended, placing hand on his chest “That hurt love.”

You only rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the smile that was forcing its way onto your face.

“Alright, so now they will draw sticks and get to know what senses will be taken from them!” Tara showed her viewers three sticks and then she turned to you “Ladies first.”

You took the one in the middle and immediately looked at written words.

“Yeah! I’m deaf today!” You did a little winning dance. Next one choosing stick was Johnnie and he got mute.

“Oh, so I will be blind.” Jake stated “That’s good actually, at least I don’t have to look at your ugly faces.” he smirked and you laughed.

Tara handed you all your things - blindfold for Jake, duck tape for Johnnie and earphones for you.

“Let me also add, that the person who won’t do the most of their mini challenges, has to take a cold shower on the street!” Tara smiled mischievously.

“Is this enough to charge her with domestic abuse?” Jake asked kind of scared.

When everyone was ready Tara started talking to the camera and you could only guess she was explaining to people what you gonna do and not long later Johnnie took your hand to let you know you were going out. You both helped blindfolded Jake to the car and Tara drove you to the nearest store.

She turned on the camera and pointed it at you and Johnnie. You didn’t see anyone talking so you decided to speak “I think Tara already told you guys but we’re making cookies so now we have to find all of the needed ingredients.” you informed and Tara pointed the camera to Johnnie who was gesturing towards some alley. He took your hand and started dragging you there with Tara going behind you but you suddenly stopped, remembering something.

You quickly turned around and jogged to Jake to walk him to Johnnie and Tara. He said something that made Tara laugh and Johnnie’s arms shudder in a silent laugh.

You really started to regret wanting to be deaf one, because not hearing anything yet seeing it, made you frustrated. Also, not hearing Johnnie made you kinda sad. But atleast you listened to your favorite songs.

You all went to grocery alley where Jake gave you his phone so you and Johnnie could find all ingredients for cookies.

Tara was pointing the camera on you all the time and you decided to speak from time to time in case she and Jake weren’t saying anything.

“So we will be doing chocolate chip cookies. Or rather we will be trying to instruct Jake to do it without hurting himself or poisoning us.” you felt a light push on your shoulder and you laughed seeing how Jake was struggling with trying to not miss your form while hitting.

Johnnie swatted Jake’s hand when he tried to hit your shoulder again and side hugged you while looking for flour.

“Johnnie, we need flour for cakes, this one is for bread.” you told him and he gave you a ‘what the hell’ face and you knew that if he could talk and you hear, he would be asking about the difference.

“Alright, I think we got everything.” you stated when you found everything and you all went to cashier’s stands where everyone was looking at you like at idiots, but that wasn’t anything new with Johnnie and Jake.

Tara quickly paid when it was yours turn and you and Johnnie walked Jake to the car.

When you were at home you quickly started to prepare kitchen for your baking.

Suddenly, you felt someone tugging gently at your arm and you saw Johnnie pointing ahead of you. You saw Tara pointing the camera at you all and you took it as a clue to start talking.

“Alright, so now we will be trying to instruct Jake how to make cookie dough, wish us luck!” you smiled sarcastically.

You somehow were cooperating well, Johnnie was showing you the recipe and you were reading it for Jake who then with your and yours boyfriend help were making most of the work.

When cookies were in the oven you didn’t have anything better to do so you sat on the floor in front of the oven and you were just looking at the cookies.

Some time later Johnnie joined you, sitting next to you and placing his head on your shoulder. You hugged him into your side and he gladly snuggled into you, kissing your shoulder.

You sat there for a few minutes, when Tara came to you with a camera and some bowl and told something to Johnnie and then showed you her phone, where she wrote in the notes that now you will be doing random challenges before you could take the cookies out from the oven. It would decide who is the loser of the video.

You all stood in the living room and Tara came to you with the bowl and you took one piece of paper.

“I’ve got ‘activity without your sense’” you read it for them and viewers out loud and then showed the piece of paper to the camera.

Moment later Tara gave you another paper, which turned out to be an instruction what your activity was.

“So I have to call a random contact and try to have normal conversation with that person. That will be hard.” you sighed “Can Johnnie and Jake help me? Like by gesturing?” You looked at Tara and she only nodded.

You looked at the camera and smiled “I’m actually kinda scared that they will gesturing wrong things and I will make a fool of myself.” you laughed and you could see Tara snorting.

Your challenges were done, it wasn’t that bad or at least you were hoping so.

Then you took the cookies out of the oven and tried them when they weren’t hot. They were really good.

“Teamwork makes a dream work, i guess.” you smiled at the camera.

Then you could finally take off the earphones and you were never as grateful for hearing Jake and Johnnie as now.

“God, it’s so good to hear people again. I missed your voice.” you told Johnnie who smiled widely at you and kissed your cheek.

“I’m glad to see again, but I’m scared of how many bruises I’ve got today.” Jake laughed while still trying to get use to the light in the room.

“Alright guys, they made it.” Tara smiled at the camera “I can’t with how cute y/n and Johnnie were today. Literally goals. You were like and old married couple.” she giggled and you smiled.

“So, who’s the loser?” Jake asked after few minutes.

“You Jake.” You laughed “You didn’t do any of your challenges correctly.”

“That’s true.” Tara smirked “You will do your punishment later.”

You stopped recording for some time so Tara could get all of the needed things for Jake’s punishment, so you and Johnnie went to sit on the couch while hugging.

“I really missed your voice today.” you admitted again quietly.

“And I missed talking to you.” he smiled “And kissing you.” he kissed you.

[sugurusladyknightt]

"you're mad at me."

you huff through your nose, your reflection in the mirror is an angry one and rightfully so. eyes closed you take a moment to collect yourself, to loosen your clenched jaw, and just breathe.

"'you're mad at me', says the idiot man" you say, eyes intent on not leaving your reflection in the mirror, " 'of course i'm mad at you' replies the idiot man's wife." matter of factly, mock sympathy clear in your voice, before it turns cold. "for last night i discovered my idiot man husband who was terribly hurt by i'm not even sure what, standing in the bathroom trying to tend to his wound with tools that are inadequate to tend to those sorts of wounds.'"

the comb in your hands now being held like it is something between an accusing finger and a weapon ready to attack. still your eyes do not leave their reflection in the mirror before you.

sukuna thinks not having you speak to him, not having you look at him since last night, is lethal weapon enough.

"and when idiot wife sees this she feels a surge of very very many emotions of worry and sadness and anger and confusion and concern and yet, idiot man plays her the fool. no explanation,- "

"baby, please"

you sound exasperated, frantic; and him desperate.

"nothing, nothing at all to ease her worries. like she is someone he simply owes nothing too. like she isn't the one he's married to. it is possible that idiot man thinks his wife will simply forget. and then what does idiot man do you ask? well idiot man does just as his name suggests and acts as if he has no idea what is going on, he acts like an idiot, and continues to state plainly, pathetically, uselessly, 'you're mad at me.'"

you turn to look at him and you look pained. and god does he feel that way too. it's hidden well by your hardened exterior, furrowed brows, cold voice, and angry expression, but sukuna has come far past the point of being fooled by the expression you wear on your face — your eyes tell. they always do.

he moves from where he stands to take to your side, his place, sat next to you. his movements stiff, not as smooth as usual but still his natural effortlessness somehow manages to shine through. his knees touching yours almost shyly, and his hands curled in his lap, clasped together tightly. he wants to hold yours. you can tell, though make no movement to realize that desire. that need. neither of you move. but you wait for him.

it's quite strange to see sukuna of all people like this, it doesn't happen very often. crimson eyes down cast and his lips seemingly unable to decide whether they want to part and speak to you or to press themselves into a thin line and say nothing at all.

moments and moments pass and he gives you nothing. your chest fills with air and it deflates, deeep breathe.

you stand from your place and move to your bed, you need some sleep right now. you miss it with your back turned to him as you walk. his form falls further, longing for you so dearly when your so close.

his ego and pride aside; those things have no room in his mind, not when he is with you. he didn't need to be those things, he did not have to be endlessly strong. he did not have to be so guarded and he doesn't want to be. he doesn't want you to be that way around him either.

shit, he hadn't meant for this.

last night, sukuna had come home with a bloody gash through his his side. it was late and you were asleep, and he was tired. so tired. the last thing he needed was to have to wait in a hospital for care when he could do it here, at home, by himself, close to you.

so there he is, lights on in the bathroom as he's standing there trying to stitch himself up with the little sewing kit you kept in the medicine cabinet and a pair of kitchen scissors. it was a bloody affair, jaw clenched through the pain. his head was thrown back, sharp exhales, and eyes shut so tight. bloodied toilet paper everywhere. and that's right when you walk in.

perfect timing as always.

sukuna thinking its both kinda funny, incredibly scary, and so impressive how you always manage to find him in the most unfortunate and compromising situations.

he must've been louder than he'd thought. your sleepy form rigid as your eyes adjust to the light and you register the sight before you.

your husband, standing with his back against one of the walls of the small room, bloodied hands are positioned close to the wound in his side, one holding the needle and thread, dripping in his blood. the silver band he wears so proudly on his left hand is too.

your eyes frantically darting everywhere, finally landing on his wide crimson eyes staring right back at you. they match the color of the blood soaking his hands and smeared on his face and nearly everything else in the bathroom.

if the circumstances were different, if it wasn't for you he gaping hole in his side, you'd think it's quite a picturesque view. but right now, he looks like a man who was just caught doing a horrible job of trying to sew himself together at midnight by his wife, who by the way, also had her sleep disturbed by him.

your eyes go from wide with shock and confusion to being filled with worry and concern to focused and determined. the transformation so quick, it'd be easy for anyone else to miss.

you take his hand in yours and lead him to sit on the lid of the toilet lid almost as quick. you pull the hand covering the gash away from it so you can see it without distraction.

it's a few too many inches long for your liking, right down the side of his tattooed torso. sell sure, he's been hurt before, bruises on his face, bloody knuckles, some scratches maybe. you know who you married, you've had to sew him up, before but really it was nothing major, nothing in comparison to this.

"don't move, i'll only be a moment."

you've left to grab the first aid box you have, it isn't ideal, but better than what he's been doing. it's all you have to work with for now, and so you'll just have to do with it.

once back, you settle between his thighs and start opening and removing the stitches he's sewn in so that you can clean it up, disinfect it, before sewing it up properly, and wrapping him up.

your work is diligent and quite. eyes hardly ever leaving their current subject of interest. he's quiet too, crimson eyes don't leave you. in the past, when you've found yourself in these situations, he'd be teasing or making those quick-witted remarks of his, but not tonight. he can't bring himself to.

you do your best, willing your hands not to tremble as you work; there's so much blood. you can see his hands clenched atop his thighs, knuckles going white. his muscles flinging at the burning and sting of the disinfectant or the cold of the needle repeatedly piercing his aching skin.

you know he's tired, you are too. but sleep is so far form your mind right now. you place a hand on his thighs and squeeze gently, hoping your grip is steadying to him. something to keep him grounded. something to convey the words you don't have the strength to announce at the moment but still, you want him to hear them.

once your done, you let out a slow, shaky breathe, quickly moving to the sink to wash your hands and dry your hands before wrapping him up in clean gauze. the first few layers bloody quick, but you continue until it is enough, looking up at him in conformation that it isn't too tight before you secure it in place.

your hands gently drag up and down his sides before they settle of his tights to push yourself up, only then do you meet his eyes properly. he feels like it's his first time seeing you all over again. its not enough, eyes darting away far too quick. its far too fleeting a moment for him to properly telepathically convey his thoughts to you through eye contact.

you pack up the first aid kid setting it on the counter, leaving to grab him a clean shirt from the closet setting it on the counter as well, and your off to bed. not another word to him, not another glance. you don't even know that you want to know what happen. he feels like a child how'd just been scolded. his body far too large for him in this moment.

sukuna slips the shirt over his head, and moves carefully when he's fitting the rest of it over his body. it was pretty bad, he can't even pretend that this isn't all that big of a deal. he knew, your actions were only coming from a place of concern for his wellbeing and that made this all that much worse. he feels likes he's been drinking hot sand instead of water.

he looks at himself in the mirror, bloodied sink under him: sighh. there's not much else he can do.

he peaks his head out the bathroom first, then the rest of him emerges. he's met with the sight of you, well kinda. it's more like he's met with the sight of a lump under the blankets he knows is you.

your back facing his side of the bed, and he's sitting on the edge of it. there's an air of awkwardness, as he settles under the covers, his eyes trained on your back. sukuna wants so badly to shuffle close to you and lay his head on your pillow, to hold your hand in his and tangle your legs together under the covers, but he doesn't. he can bring himself to.

so he just stares at you longingly, he stares at you like you're hundreds of kilometres away. and all he can hope for is that tomorrow, when he wakes up with you, it'll be better.

that he'll be better.

better for you.

[togament]

as much as i love cute festival fluff with togame (someone else pls send in an ask for it lmao), consider confessing to togame on valentines with homemade chocolate since he’s a big foodie & he, more than anyone, would appreciate the effort 🥰

i can see him maybe not clocking the intention right away either bc he didn’t have friends until shishitoren (+ find it hard to believe anyone would be interested in him like that) & the thought of choji of all ppl making him realize it’s romantic bc the chocolate reader gave him “wasn’t as nice looking as kame-chan’s :<” is soooo funny to me

GHHRHRJRH GNAWING ON YOUR ARM THIS IS ADORABLE!!!!! kinda teared up a bit ngl. imagining a soft blushy togame got me in my feels. i feel like (Also yes pls someone send in a cute festival date hc with togame/any of your faves!!!! I have things to say about our turtle guy in particular but we can do your other faves too. idk i'm in a yappy mood.

“you’re finally ready to confess to togame after mulling it over for months. you even made chocolates for him to (hopefully) immediately devour. things don’t go quite as planned though.”

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : none just fluff, gender neutral reader, reader’s jelly and an overthinker, togame’s in looooove, choji’s a little shit (affectionate)

full story under the cut! fully SFW.

standing at the gates of the ori, you bounce on your heels in sheer nervousness, eyes tirelessly darting around in search for togame with two chocolate boxes in one hand. one smaller one and one huge and beautifully decorated one. god your heart’s beating a mile a minute and your brain’s working overtime. what if he got into trouble? a possibility. what if someone’s confessing to him? of course someone would. he’s tall, handsome, kind, can cook—what’s not to love?

what if someone asked him out on a date? shit.

..what if HE asked someone out on a date? double shit.

oh god. oh no. your form visibly slumps at the thought, doubtlessly breaking your own heart again. but hey, on the bright side, you could eat your own chocolates, right? you made them extra delicious too, making them into flavors you know he’d like. you even snuck in some ramune flavored sweets for him.

…you know you’d hate eating chocolates for the rest of your life after this.

but then, the sun in the form of choji, shines through the dark clouds in your mind. your body visibly straightens back up when you hear his distinct laughter and endless yapping along with the soft crinkles of cellophane and boxes. listening even closer, you can hear togame speak and get promptly cut off by the smaller boy.

breathe. he’s here.

shit— what if those boxes you heard were all his and choji was just carrying them with him? what if he already gave someone a kiss today? what if he’d take your box of chocolates and hand it to his date instead?? what if—

“oh hey it’s bunny.”

you were just ready to walk away when you were stopped in your tracks by his deep voice calling out the nickname he so annoyingly picked for you. even when you’re looking away you could just hear him smiling. you turn, giving both boys a slight wave before you’re met with the absolute mountain of chocolates choji and him are carrying.

you’re not the only one who wanted to confess to him then.

“hey uh-mind adding these to your pile?” you say, failing to mask the sadness in your voice. you catch yourself though, immediately correcting yourself. “got these for you guys. no biggie, really.” you made the chocolates. granted the smaller box’s for choji and it’s way less decorated compared to togame’s. more ‘default’ chocolate box than ‘I have liked you for the longest time please accept my love’ chocolate box. you yap some more, digging your own grave, “these were on sale today so… thought you guys might want a snack.” you didn’t get them on sale. hell you made each and every single one by hand for the both of them to suit their tastes. god knows how much time you and him have spent talking about cooking and food.

but then choji gasps.

“hey! lying’s not nice!” choji chirps at you, dropping the boxes of chocolates on the ground unceremoniously. togame could only look on since his hands are already occupied with even more of choji’s valentines chocolates. the smaller boy looks at you suspiciously, albeit playfully. "you made these, didn't you?"

fuck. he noticed. you stare at choji like a deer in headlights now, too stunned to utter a single word.

he eyes the beautifully painted box in your hands and you pray for the ground to just eat you.

“iiiiis that one mine?” choji points at the larger box, eyes shining. togame looks on though, silent but his mind’s racing too. little did you know the chocolates they were carrying were all choji’s, given by his droves of admirers and friends alike. while togame didn’t mind not getting any chocolates this year and all those years before that, he finds himself hoping.

please don’t let that be choji’s.

“Wh-no! it’s-“ “-kame-chan’s? waaah his box is way larger and prettier than mine is!” he cuts you off, eyeing the boxes as you hold them in your hand. still, he takes his smaller box from you. “why’d you give kame-chan a bigger one? you like him or something?”

a pause.

“is that why you’re blushing?” he prods, wiggling a finger at you. "is that why you're blushing too, kame-chan?", he adds, wiggling two fingers at the both of you.

you could just explode at that moment.

“HUH?? What??? n-no! I mean YES-“ “oh so you do?” choji adds, cutting you off again. Taking togame’s larger box of chocolates from your hands, he shuffles through the chocolate boxes he dropped on the floor, handing the taller, now stunned boy his first legit box of valentines chocolates.

you three are blanketed in silence. with the exception of choji’s giggles.

"choji wait-" “welp, I’ll be in the ori!” he brightly exclaims, swiftly taking all of the chocolate boxes from togame’s arms and off the floor, leaving him with the single, most prettiest one in the bunch.

yours.

choji leaves you both with a playful wink and you both stand there, glancing at each other and fumbling awkwardly.

silently, he opens your chocolate box and is immediately greeted with a beautifully arranged selection of chocolates and sweets. his gaze flits from the box, to your reddened face and back again. you motion for him to eat. and he does.

he didn’t think it was possible to like you even more.

he pops one of the ramune shaped bites in his mouth and his eyes immediately widen in delight behind his amber sunglasses. pushing the glasses up his forehead to meet your eyes properly, you fail to tear away your eyes in time.

“sure you made these yerself, bunny? could've fooled me. these are restaurant quality. ” he says in between bites. his tone’s something he only uses around you and choji. vulnerable, safe, gently.

your heart’s beating way too fast for your own good.

“mhm. thought you might like that one because y’know… ramune and all.” you respond, “your favorite, right?”

with an acknowledging hum, he closes the box, twisting and admiring the beautifully decorated container, a forest green box speckled with gold and ornate lines. you really set the bar way up high for him. he smiles softly to himself and you swear you see his cheeks redden a tint.

“…can ya teach me to make them?” his voice grows softer, just enough for you to hear him. “how’s next weekend?” as soon as the words escape his lips, his heartbeat rises up to his throat. what if you didn't want to? he's never done this before, making the first move. he still can't fully grasp why you'd go so far as make something for him, someone who's only respected out of fear, someone who's wronged so many for just one cause. it haunts him sometimes. the Shishitoren could forgive him but he can't forgive himself. why would you?

you'll convince him soon enough. make him see what you see in him, what others see in him.

now's not that time though. your mind’s already in another dimension, thinking about him giving his date YOUR dessert with the recipe YOU made for him. letting out a soft disappointed sigh before opening your mouth, you respond, “maybe I could.“

“Maybe huh.” he echoes you, arching a brow at you with a small frown ghosting his lips.

“yeah, maybe. I could send the recipe over to you if you want. you could try making it with your date-“

“date? I want to make them for you next month, doofus. only you.” he retorts, wanting to get his point across. he realizes you're overthinking again. he's assuring you. meeting your eyes, he sees the shade of red on your cheeks darken. you look like a fish out of water, mouth agape and eyes wide. extending a hand towards you, he nudges your chin up with his knuckle. “y’know what that means right? I like you.”

a small gasp escapes your lips.

“you do..?” a pause. “why?”

he laughs, playfully pinching your cheek.

“I just do, cutie. always have. I take it you like me too?”

you nod. do it properly this time.

“yeah. I really do.”

he smiles, dimples deepening on his cheeks. he looks so relieved you like him back. you swear you feel like you’re on cloud nine — is this really happening?

“it’s a date then." he says as he reaches over to pat your head. "you better not flake on me, bun. Else I’d take that imaginary date of mine out instead.”

scoffing, you push his chest and he lets out a soft 'oof'.

“you wouldn't dare—“

“ARE YOU GUYS DATING YET??”

choji screams from the distance, the entire Shishitoren gang’s staring at you both from the ori, desperately waiting for the both of you to finish. they've been watching you both the entire time with bated breath. his friends are all cheering him on.

a pause.

togame reaches over to hold your hand, intertwining his long fingers through yours. hoots and hollers echo as he waves them off with a hand.

you could only smile up at him, squeezing his hand into yours.

he squeezes back.

a/n: hehehehe self doubt togame making me soft. MAKE HIM FEEL WORTHY GOD DAMN IT. DATE HIM AND DATE HIM HARD.

[nakylvr]

– SANTA TELL ME

daniela avanzini x fem!reader

summary: after ending things with sophia, daniela lets you stay with her for the rest of the holidays. and the night before christmas changes everything.

warnings/tags: fluff, nsfw content, language, confessions, friends to lovers, g!p daniela, soft dom!daniela, sub!reader, it's kinda sad too im sorry it ends happy i swear, not proofread

minors dni

part 1

your eyes groggily open as the sun peeks through the blinds, blinking a few times as you roll over onto your side and slowly start waking up. once your eyes adjust to the lighting in the room, you realize where you are. then, you remember what happened the night before. a quiet sigh escapes your lips as you sit up, running a hand through your hair and glancing around.

daniela wasn't in the room, and you could hear talking from downstairs, making you also remember the fact that it was a few days before christmas and that most people were spending it with their families. you had stayed at daniela's place on multiple occasions, sometimes for longer periods of time than others, so her family knew you by now. but, you still couldn't help feeling like you were intruding their holidays by being here.

not even a few minutes later, the door opens quietly, and dani peeks her head inside to see if you're awake. a small smile grows on her face when she sees you, walking in and closing the door behind her. "hey, how did you sleep?" she asks, sitting down on the bed.

you shrug your shoulders, looking down at the blankets. "okay. thanks for letting me stay," you reply in a quiet voice. "i should get going."

"what?" daniela looks at you with confusion. "yn, i know you're going to end up spending christmas alone and upset, and i don't want that for you. my family loves you, you've been here so many times, they know you. plus, i already kinda told them you would be staying for the rest of the holidays." she smiles sheepishly at the end, grabbing one of your hands.

"you–" you stop yourself by sighing and shaking your head, a little smile forming on your face. "why am i not surprised?" you look at her, giggling softly.

"because you know me," daniela responds, her smile getting bigger. "now c'mon, we're eating breakfast and then i am taking you to go ice skating!" she's practically grinning by now, hopping off the bed and pulling you up along with her.

"wh– ice skating?" you question, letting her pull you up off the bed. "dani, i don't know how to skate."

"i know," she nods. "i'm going to make sure we do as much as we can in these few days to make up for what happened to you."

your face heats up at her words and how she says it so nonchalantly, a warm feeling radiating through your body as you can see she's genuine about it. you can feel your heartbeat speeding up, and you have to pry your eyes away to calm down. "okay."

and she was telling the truth. during the few days before christmas, daniela dragged you around to do every possible thing that involved the holiday, making you forget what made you come in the first place. you were enjoying the time when you thought you would end up dwelling in your bed all day and night until the days passed.

it was christmas eve, and you and daniela were sitting on her bed, both of you on your phones with a comfortable silence filling the air. suddenly, dani puts her phone down and looks at you. "do you wanna dance?" she asks.

looking away from your phone, your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "what?"

"c'mon," she says, grabbing your hand and getting off the bed. she grabs her phone, and a slower christmas song that you don't recognize plays through the room.

"dani we both know i'm a bad dancer," you tell the latina, yet allowing her to move your arms to wrap around her neck.

"it's not that hard," daniela reassures, her hands moving to your waist. "just follow me, okay?"

you nod your head, looking down at your feet as you follow the steps and movements she was making, not noticing her gaze on you that never left. when you get the hang of it and finally look at her, your eyes stare into hers past the dim lighting in the room, still being able to make out the bits of green in them due to the closeness.

"thank you for making my holidays better, dani," you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. "i really enjoyed doing everything with you."

"don't thank me," daniela shakes her head. "i just wanted to make sure you had a good holiday. i'm glad you enjoyed it." there's a tiny smile on her face as she talks.

you smile back at her, the music in the background fading out the more you look at her. "you didn't get me anything, did you? we promised no presents this year," you say, your fingers playing with the curls in her hair.

"well..." daniela's voice trails off. "at first i didn't. but i couldn't help myself."

"dani!" you sigh loudly. "i didn't get you anything." your voice goes quiet again.

"it's okay," she replies, her hand moving up to cradle your face. "you being here is enough for me."

there's something in the way she says it that makes you feel like there's a deeper meaning behind it. you never noticed it until now. the way her eyes would linger on you when you weren't paying attention, the way she spoke to you like there was something more she wanted to say. the past few days you had spent with her helped you realize these things. and that you found yourself feeling things that you thought disappeared long ago. the silence that fills the air now is heavy with tension, both of you hesitating to do the next thing. her eyes glance from your lips to your eyes, but it's evident she's too scared to do anything.

slowly leaning forward, your lips hover just in front of hers before pressing them together. daniela's lips mold with yours as they slide against each other, the innocent kiss quickly becoming messy. you pull her closer to you, your bodies practically against each other as she walks backwards to the bed with you being pulled along. she stops once the back of her knees hit the bed, sitting down and pulling you down onto her lap, immediately reconnecting her lips with yours.

your arms remain hooked around her neck as her teeth nip at your bottom lip. parting your lips, daniela's tongue slips into your mouth, a little noise coming from you at the action. her nails are digging into your skin slightly, leaving little crescent moon marks on your waist while her tongue mends with yours. when she finally pulls away to breathe, her eyes are dark as she looks at you, your face flushed and breathing heavy trying to recuperate.

"dani," you say quietly.

"yeah?" she looks up at you with big eyes.

"i want you," you murmur, your fingers playing with her hair. "you don– you don't have to but-"

daniela doesn't respond, instead cutting you off by kissing you again. it's slower this time, as if she were trying to take her time compared to the last one. she's not trying to rush it. as she pulls away she picks you up swiftly and lays you down on the bed. hovering above you, her hand swipes away the strand of hair in your face, looking down at you as she asks you, "are you sure? i'm not going to make you do this."

"i'm sure," you nod your head. "please."

nodding her head, daniela's hands grab the hem of your sweater as you lift your arms up allowing her to remove it. her breath catches in her throat at you not wearing a bra, but she quickly leans her head down and puts her lips around one of your nipples, her hand grabbing and fondling your other breast. your heavy breaths fill the room excluding the holiday music that's still playing, and you remember that her family is scattered in the house, making you bite down on your bottom lip. your hand grasps the back of her head, pushing her closer to you as you arch up against her when she pulls away and moves to the other one, you're sure that your panties are soaked by now, and she's barely done anything.

finally removing herself from your breast with a quiet pop, her hands drag down your torso until they reach your pants and proceeding to tug them down and off your ankles along with your soaked underwear. spreading your legs, a low groan comes from daniela at the sight of you. your face is flushed, your chest is already littered in marks soon to change color as it heaves up and down, your legs twitching and wanting to close, your pussy practically dripping onto her sheets. all of it was almost too much for her. almost. she had been pining for you for so long, but she knew better to try and do something while you were with sophia. now that she was finally getting you, she was almost panicking, forgetting how to breathe as she stares, feeling her pants get tighter the longer she keeps her eyes on you.

"dani,"

your voice knocks daniela out of her thoughts, her eyes looking at you all big. "yeah?" she says.

"breathe, please. i would really not like it if you passed out and left me all horny on christmas eve," you tell her, giggling at the way she's looking at you.

a breathy chuckle falls from daniela's lips at your words that reassure her enough to get her mind straight. "right, yeah, sorry." she swallows the lump in her throat while nodding her head. "i just don't want to hurt you."

your eyes soften at the genuine tone in her words, how she cares so much about you that she worries of hurting you when you know she never would. grabbing her hand, you tug her closer so she's back to hovering above you, her other hand supporting her up next to your head. she looks down at you with an expression you can't recognize, but you're quick to notice what it means. "you won't hurt me, i trust you more than anyone else," you whisper to her.

daniela nods slowly, looking as if she were hesitating to say something, before she does in the same whispering voice as yours. "will you– would you be mine? i-i know you just broke up with sophia but i...i don't want this to mean nothing. i-i'm not that kind of person."

you're shocked by her words, staring up at her and seeing the way her eyes avert from yours, her face red with embarrassment. your hands cup her face, making her look back at you. "i'm all yours, dani. consider this a early christmas present," you say, smiling up at her.

a smile lights up on daniela's face when you respond, leaning down and kissing you deeply. your hands move from her face down under her shirt, your nails scratching lightly against her making her sigh into the kiss. pulling away, she sits on her knees, taking her shirt off and tossing it somewhere in the room before her shaky hands fiddle with her belt. you sit up a bit, your hands moving hers as you unbuckle the belt and undo the buttons on her jeans, feeling her gaze on you as you tug them down her legs along with her boxers.

a quiet gasp escapes your throat when her cock is freed from its tight confinement, seeing just how big she is with beads of precum leaking from her tip. shifting so you were on your knees, your hand grabs her cock and you give it a few pumps before wrapping your lips around her.

"shit!" daniela gasps the second she feels the warmth of your mouth around her. her hand instantly moves to your hair, bundling it up and holding it tightly.

you try to take all of her, but are stopped when your gag reflex kicks in and she accidentally thrusts into you, causing you to grab her thighs. she does it again, a low groan falling from her lips as you do your best to take it, looking up at her with big, teary eyes. your throat is already pulsing and throbbing while she thrusts into your mouth a few more times before pulling out, her breathing irregular as she looks down at you.

"you think you're ready for me, baby?" she asks, smiling at the way you quickly nod your head.

lying back down on the bed, daniela hovers above you with one of her hands supporting herself up near your head and the other holding the base of her cock, dragging it along your wet folds. slowly, she pushes inside of you, her eyes remaining on your face to spot any signs of discomfort or wanting to stop. inch by inch she slips in you, and a whimper leaves her mouth as she stops when she's fully in. "you okay?" she asks you.

"mhm," you hum quietly, nodding your head with your eyebrows scrunched together at the feeling of her stretching you out. "please, do something," you whimper out.

hearing your plea, daniela slowly starts moving her hips, pulling out and pushing back into you, groaning at the way your walls contract around her each time she goes back in. "fuck...you're so tight," she hisses.

"oh my god," your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel her move in and out of you. "fa-faster, please," you get out through whimpers. "please, dani."

all daniela does is nod her head, her hands moving to grab your hips as she speeds up, the sounds of skin slapping against each other mixed with your moans and the music still playing loud enough to draw out what's happening in the room. strings of curses leave daniela's mouth, but her eyes don't leave your face even for a second, needing to see how your face changes and contorts every time she thrusts back into you.

the noises coming from you which started quiet start getting louder the more the pleasure overwhelms you, your eyes squeezed shut as you try to reach for her. "f-fuck, dani, you're so big inside me!" you whine.

daniela's dick twitches inside you at your words, her hips stuttering for a moment as she lets out a quiet moan. her head is spinning already, but as she hears a door open from down the hall she's quick to move one of her hands over your mouth to quiet you. "shh, stay quiet f-for me, baby," she says in a hushed voice, leaning down and pressing kisses on your neck.

your moans come out muffled past her hand over your mouth, grasping at her back with your nails digging into her skin, hearing her hiss at the sting but she doesn't slow down the movement of her hips snapping against yours. "mngh, dani..." you whine into her hand, your hips moving to meet her thrusts. you can feel every ridge and vein of her cock as she quickly pistons in and out of you, and a sharp gasp leaves your mouth when you feel her tip nudge against your g-spot. "oh my– oh my god!" you squirm around under her, your noises only getting louder when she realizes and purposefully starts trying to hit the same spot.

"god, you feel so good," daniela mumbles into your neck, biting down to stifle her own noises. "gonna make me cum," she whimpers. "you close, baby?"

"yes!" you gasp, quickly nodding your head. hearing her whimpers and quiet moans right next to your ear have you feeling impossibly close to the edge, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap with each movement she makes and each word she says. "please, i'm so close, dani!"

the latina's hips stutter again, her thrusts becoming sloppy and irregular as she moans against your neck. "wanna fill you up, please. please, baby. l-let me make you mine– fuck, please," she begs in whimpers, pressing her face further into your neck as her hand slips from your mouth.

your mind being so clouded with lust has you immediately nodding at her pleads, pulling her closer to you while wrapping your legs around her hips to keep her inside you. "cum in me, fill me up, please, dani," you whine into her ear. "mark me as yours, mami," you whisper.

the title falling from your lips has daniela moaning loudly into her neck as she thrusts into you again, her hips stilling as she cums, filling you up with her seed. your back arches at the feeling, her tip pressing against your cervix causing you to cum at the same time, covering your mouth with your hand letting out a loud whine. she slouches against you, breathing heavily against your skin trying to regain her composure. your hand rubs her back gently, feeling the scratch marks you left and feeling a little bad.

when she finally catches her breath, daniela pulls her face away from your neck and looks down at you, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face. "are you okay? was i okay?" she asks.

you nod your head, a tired smile on your face as you peer up at her. "i'm okay. you were great, i don't think i've ever felt that good," you answer, kissing her quickly.

"really?" daniela's face lights up. "i-i just wanted to make you feel good," she says, her face flushed pink.

"and you did," you smile. there's a moment of silence that fills the air between the two of you before you speak up again in a quiet voice. "i love you, daniela."

daniela's eyes widen at your sudden confession, her heart stopping for a second as she looks down at you. "really?" she questions quietly, almost as if she thought you were lying to her. "you do?" her voice cracks.

you can see the tears beginning to form in her eyes as she questions your words, your gaze softening as you cup her cheeks with your hands. "i do," you whisper. "i...i've loved you for a while now i just...i didn't think you felt the same so i never tried. i'm sorry for making you wait."

a few stray tears fall from the latina's eyes at your words, swallowing the lump in her throat as she tries to not start crying completely. "it's okay," she responds in the same voice. "i love you too," she smiles a bit at you, leaning down and kissing you.

smiling into the kiss, you can feel the difference in how she kissed you earlier. it wasn't as rushed or messy, her hand cradling your face as she slowly moves her lips against yours. pulling away, she smiles down at you. "i love you so much."

"i know," you giggle, pulling her down to kiss her again.

later into the night when you're already asleep, your phone dings, and daniela stirs around at the sound and phone lighting up. her eyes open slowly and she grabs the phone thinking it's hers, turning it on again and seeing the message that just came in. her eyes go wide as she wakes up completely, sitting up slowly to not disturb you as she re-reads the message. "i think the fuck not," she grumbles under her breath.

quietly, daniela gets out of her bed and pulls on her pants and shirt, still holding onto your phone as she exits the room, shutting the door behind her with a soft click. going down the stairs, everyone else in the house is asleep, as should this person who texted you should be. making it to the front door, she unlocks and opens it, revealing sophia.

"wh-"

"cut the shit," daniela is quick to cut off the beginning of sophia's words. "why are you here?"

holding a small decorative christmas bag in her hands, sophia takes a breath, carefully choosing her words. "i wanted to give this to yn. i figured she'd be here of all places."

daniela's eyes narrow at the filipina, looking at the gift in her hands and crossing her arms over her chest. "you have a lot of nerve pulling the shit you did and coming back here," she says. "do you even know how heartbroken yn was? or did you just not give a damn about how she would feel?"

sophia tenses up at daniela's response, slowly nodding her head. "i know, i just-"

"dani, what're you doing?" your voice is heard before you appear behind daniela.

sophia's eyes go wide at the sight of you. you were wearing one of daniela's shirts, oversized revealing the obvious hickeys scattered across your neck and collarbones, and assuming with just your underwear on seeing as she could see your legs clear as day. your hair is a mess, your lips are puffy and swollen. her mouth goes dry as the dots connect in her head. "yn," she says quietly.

realizing it's sophia when you finally look at who's at the door, your body tenses up, and daniela is quick to notice, grabbing your hand. "what are you doing here?" you question the girl.

"uhm, i wanted to give this to you but uh," sophia struggles to get words out. "i think it's kinda dumb now. so..." her voice trails off, biting on her tongue to keep herself from saying more. "i'm sorry."

despite seeing the way her face drops when she realizes, the way she looks away to not show the tears forming in her eyes, you can't find it in you to feel bad for her. she knew what she was doing, now she was just feeling guilty because she got caught. "then you shouldn't have done it, sophia," you tell her. "just leave me alone, you lost your chance."

sophia merely nods her head, mumbling another apology before silently turning around and walking back to her car. as soon as she does, daniela closes the door and locks it before turning and looking at you, seeing the expression on your face with your lip tucked between your teeth to keep it from trembling.

"hey, hey, it's okay," she says softly, her thumb rubbing your knuckles. "come on, let's go back to sleep, okay?"

you nod your head in silence, following her back up to her room. when you're lying down next to her, you curl up into her chest as her arm wraps around you to hold you close to her. your thoughts are running around all over the place, and you want to say something, but the lump in your chest keeps you from speaking.

feeling your breathing slightly irregular, daniela leans back a bit to look down at you. "are you okay?" she asks in a quiet voice.

shaking your head, your eyes closed as you grasp onto her shirt in a tight bundle, you reply in a whisper. "please don't do the same thing."

daniela's heart breaks when she hears your response, pulling you closer to her as she kisses your head. "i won't, i promise. you don't have to worry. i'd die first before i would even think of doing that to you." she can feel wet droplets hitting her shirt after she says that, and her hand rubs your back gently. "i love you."

her reply hits you harder than you thought it would as you start to cry quietly into her chest. you were told the same thing by sophia, but everyone saw how that turned out. hearing it again has you second guessing everything you'd done, but the way daniela says it like she genuinely means it has you breaking down anyways. "i love you," you get out past your cries. "please stay."

"i'm not going anywhere," daniela responds. "just go to sleep. i'll wake you up tomorrow, and we'll have a good christmas, okay?"

"okay," you nod.

in the end, you celebrated christmas day with daniela and her family, happy to be creating new memories to remember over the terrible week beforehand for you. you got a few texts from sophia throughout the day, and by the third one you gave up and ultimately blocked her number. a gift bag was left outside the front door the next day when you and dani were leaving to go out, and you hesitated. part of you wanted to see what was inside, but the bigger part of you tossed it away in the trash can before getting into the car. even if the holiday started out bad, it ended about as well as it could.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

THE LITTLE FLOWER POPPIN. THE M'LADY

seems like agatha is having An Emotion

but look! look! rio is once again being super special extra on purpose!! because if she just strolled in agatha would be overwhelmed and run away again. so what does rio do??? she corners her with a grand zombie entrance!!! the more over the top she acts, the more agatha is in her element and comfortable interacting. and in this case, angry is a better start than sad. all part of rio's Brilliant 66-Steps-Plan To Win Her Wife Back™ (or was it 666?)

her face omg

oooh are you mad??? are you big mad at little ol' me???????

agatha is like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope

imagine being aubrey plaza and being born so effortlessly cool. she's cool even when she's awkward dear lord

jen and alice: kinda stunned by both her hotness and her weirdness

lilia: VADE RETRO SATAN (lilia's spider senses are already tingling)

will I ever be over the fact that Death is just one particularly powerful green witch?? that she's a gentle if odd girl who grows plants and flowers and mushrooms and is called the River of Life??? that she is the embodiment of life in all her forms? that decay and regrowth are all part of the same natural cycle? that the hardest and most inexplicable thing a living being can go through is also the most reassuringly organic and normal???

have I already said "i love you patti lupone" today?

we're off to see the wizarrrrd. her cute peter pan outfit!

what do we think, billy? does she want to talk about it, or does she have the emotional maturity of a baby ostrich?

same girls, same

whoa there ladies, calm down. I'm already taken

lilia is also having an Emotion. it must be pretty weird to realize that your mortal foe is this hot

alice going NOPE when she sees her mom's house. the leaves are red alice, honey. it's your turn.

(does the back of rio's jacket look like a ribcage?)

it's going to be fine baby. your friends are all here. you can do this. deep breaths.

fire moon! fire moon! fire moon! oh this is my favorite trial

*grabs the mike* WOULD

from right to left: would, would, would, would, would, oh hi joe

rio: BITCH I AM?!?!?!?!?!?!? (everyone say thank you costume department)

the Road isn't subtle, BILLY.

sure, there wasn't enough sexual tension already, let's add side boobs, shall we? and rio being like hey agatha, hey agatha, hey. guess what. I'm here again agatha. you're not gonna get rid of me this time agatha.

I keep thinking that every reflection agatha comes across is a "te veo". and even when rio isn't there she is watching from mirrors and from puddles.

OH MY GAWD AGATHA how can you expect me to cope when you look around to make sure nobody is watching and then you lean in so so so sclose and then you say no with such a deep soulful voice and so much intimacy and such quiet anger and not one lil hint of clownery. I AM ABOUT TO GO FERAL

agatha around rio is like, mind screaming in anguish and body screaming in horny. lethal combination

lilia who's been trying and failing for centuries and centuries to come to terms with the violence human beings inflict on whoever is different

if there is one thing a broadway pro is trained to do is making people cry while wearing increasingly stupid wigs

JEN SEEING MASKS BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO HIDES BEHIND THE MONSTER THAT BOUND HER

fletwood mac?!?!!?!?!?!?!? in this economy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I cannot handle much more of this, my emotions are raw and fragile and tender as it is already!!!!!!!!

oh, alice.

well this episode is making me feel like agatha: sad and horny. weird vibe but okay.

go to episode 4 part 3

[sxcret-garden]

Jongho ღ Build You Up [M]

ღ Ateez Jongho x fem-bodied!reader ღ feat.: best friend!San, Wooyoung, Hongjoong ღ words: ~23k ღ genre & warnings: fluff (a lot of it, actually), some humor, a bit of angst (unhappy past relationships for both of them and the consequences, why do I like sadness), slowburn, smut (sub!Jongho, dom!reader, detailed warnings under the cut); brief discussion of (over)weight (it’s about a cat tho), alcohol consumption ღ reader: has a vagina, no other descriptions of reader’s anatomy, no pronouns used to refer to reader

Desc.: It hasn’t been long since you and Jongho have started seeing each other, when it begins to look like your originally purely sexual relationship is turning into something much broader. After you initially make it very clear that you aren’t ready for a new relationship after a painful breakup, you can’t help but wonder if Jongho would be the one who can finally help you heal, and at the same time you too are set on helping him with his own troubles, getting him to let go of control around you more and more easily. This is the sequel to my fic Break You Down - it can also be read as a standalone work, but probably makes more sense if you’ve read the original fic too~

ღ smut warnings: off-screen kink-negotiation, a hint of dumbification, subspace, lots of praise, some teasing, some begging, some humiliation, biting, oral & fingering (reader receiving), reader sitting on his face, (kinda) guided masturbation & cum eating (idol), restraints (handcuffs & rope, idol receiving), blindfold (idol), handjobs, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation as a punishment (and also just for fun tbh), traffic light system (only “green” is used), reader has a bit of a dom drop at one point, temperature play, a bit of finger sucking, unprotected sex, anal (fingering & with a strap, idol receiving), dacryphilia, they have pretty sweet and vanilla sex once, multiple orgasms

“Did so well for me…” you breathe the words into his ear as he’s about to collapse on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck and you let your lips brush against his earlobe. Your hand is up in his hair, gripping the dark brown locks to guide him into a position where you could comfortably wrap your arms around his broad figure, feeling the way his hot skin presses against yours and how his chest is rising and sinking in tune with your own, both catching your breaths. 

You lean your back against the headrest of your bed, with a pillow in between, and you wait for him to come down from the euphoric high you’ve swept him up in. Granted, it wasn’t your effort alone, and you wonder if words would be enough to convey to him what you’re feeling deep in your chest right in this moment.

“Such a good boy, letting me take care of you like that…” you mutter, and you notice a shade of pink dusted onto his cheeks as he looks up at you with big round eyes. He seems so much softer now - his features, his gaze, and the sound of his voice too, when he hums an elongated “mhmmm” at your praise. Eyelids drooping, he sinks down to a lying position eventually, with his head in your lap, and as he closes his eyes fully while you’re still playing with his hair, you think he’s dozing off, until his warm voice fills the room again.

“Say…” Jongho looks up at you, parted lips swollen from how hard you had kissed him just earlier, and you have to resist the urge to lean in and pepper little pecks all over his features. 

“What is it?” you ask, unable to stop yourself from grinning like a fool at how cute he looks, all fucked out, laying in your lap like that.

“Mmmm.” Lips pursed, his eyes dart to the side as he’s trying hard to come up with a coherent sentence. You find yourself chuckling, finding it amusing how this usually so eloquent man is struggling to form words now.

“It’s okay,” you speak soothingly, fingertips ghosting over his mouth and grazing his plush lips. “You don’t have to say anything right now if it’s too hard.” However, Jongho frowns at what was supposed to be a comfort to him.

“No, just… been thinking…” he slurs.

“About what?”

“Just… if maybe… we could meet up sometime?” Another short laugh escapes you.

“You mean, outside of having sex?” you guess, and he gives you a nod. “Hmm…” You ponder on the question for a while, and as you do, you feel resistance in your heart. Truth be told, you’ve been afraid one of your partners would bring up something like this sooner or later, though you do your best to keep things lowkey and not make any advances that aren’t of a purely sexual nature on anyone. And yet there is also a spark of curiousity lighting up within you. The little bits of his usual personality you get to see before and during the start of a scene can’t be more than a fraction of what he’s really like during his everyday life, and you can’t say you haven’t caught yourself wondering about who he might be outside of when you have sex with him.

“Don’t want to?” he asks, and you know he is trying his hardest not to sound sad, but the pout that involuntarily appears on his lips does nothing in helping him hide his true feelings.

“It’s not that…” you answer, soothingly caressing his face as you brush a strand of hair away and attempt to tuck it behind his ear, already knowing prior that it’s too short for that anyway. He raises his eyebrows as if prompting you to continue speaking. “Just…” You look around the room, wondering if you should let the doubt on your mind win or not, and eventually you figure that it’d probably be just fine.

“Alright,” you decide, finally, and you find a spark in his eyes upon hearing your answer. “Any plans on what to do?” Jongho makes a noise, opening and closing his mouth like a fish in water, and you smile at the way his mind has gone blank again, stroking his hair a few more times. “Maybe we’ll discuss that later, then?” you propose, and you see the tension leaving his shoulders. “No need to overexert that pretty little head of yours,” you tease, and you earn yourself a pouty frown, reacting immediately by giving him some more scalp scratches meant to appease him.

Thursday afternoon. You’re looking your reflection in the shop window in front of you up and down, adjusting the way the fabric of the simple but elegant blouse wraps itself around your shoulders to look as neat as possible. Its color an antique pink, with flowers cross-stitched onto the ends of the sleeves, you don’t get a whole lot of chances to wear this type of clothing anymore nowadays, so you made sure to pick out your outfit thoughtfully. Maybe a little too thoughtfully, as you’ve tried on all kinds of possible combinations a day prior, in an attempt to choose the most perfect one out of all of them. In the end you settled for something comfortable and in some way nostalgic, remembering the last time you wore this particular top having been at a friend’s graduation party. Paired with some dark grey dress pants and classy shoes with just a tiny heel, you think you match the definition of “elegant, but not over the top” - which is the only thing besides the time and meeting place that Jongho had told you about today. Judging from the fact that it’s almost 6pm you assume his plan is to take you out for dinner, plus the address he had sent you is in the middle of an area known for its fancy restaurants, and when he finally comes into sight as he’s turning a corner a couple of meters away from you, he’s about to confirm your assumptions.

“Hi,” he greets you with a tired but warm smile, and you return the greeting.

“Hi. How have you been?” He looks away as if he had hoped you wouldn’t ask him this very standard question meant to open up a conversation, yet here you are. “Sorry, should I not ask?” you figure, and he shows you a gesture of his hand to wave it off.

“Ah, no, it’s fine,” he says. “Today wasn’t so bad. I had a meeting until…” he checks his wristwatch, and you notice how expensive it looks, “half an hour ago, that’s why I’m a little late. I’m really sorry about that.”

“It’s alright, you let me know on time so it’s fine,” you assure him.

“But aside from that it wasn’t too busy today. Thankfully,” he says. “My father is away on a business trip so… can’t terrorize the whole company for a few days. But let’s get going, shall we?” Stopping himself from rambling, he holds out his hand to you for you to hook your arm through his, and you start walking. “How was your day?” he then asks back, having calmed himself down a little. You wonder for a moment if you’re right in your observation that he seems unusually open today, at least compared to what he was like when you had only just met him, but then again you figure it’s only natural to be comfortable opening up to a person who’s already broken down so many walls within you, no?

“It was good. I had a day off, actually, so I finally got to run some errands I’ve been putting off,” you explain briefly, as he’s taking the lead on the way to your destination. And maybe he’s noticed your dopey smile about it, because upon looking at you, he asks,

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” you lie at first, giving him big, innocent eyes, but the suspicion in his expression tells you he’s probably already figured it out anyway, so you might as well give him the answer yourself. “I was just thinking that this is the first time you’re guiding me.”

“Oh… you’re right,” he says, coming to a halt with you in front of a crossing.

“It feels…”

“Weird?” he laughs.

“Different,” you say with a smile. “Not bad.”

“I see?” he says, visibly intrigued, and as the pedestrian lights switch to green, he walks you across the street. 

“Don’t get any ideas,” you then say, and wordlessly, he shows you a toothy smile - you’re sure he knows what you were implying.

You arrive at the restaurant on the 15th floor of a huge building, having one of the servers show you your table right by the window with a vast view of the surrounding city. The sun is slowly beginning to set when you finish choosing your meals, and you’re served some sweet sparkling wine as an aperitif. 

“Cheers,” he raises his glass and you do the same.

“Cheers.” You both take a sip, and as you set down your glasses, he says, earnestly,

“You look good by the way.”

“So do you.” You shoot him a smile, reckoning that a well fitted, classic suit really does everything to make him look even more handsome. Even when it’s apparent that work is taking its toll on him, a part of him is glowing in that business attire - almost creating the illusion that a high ranking corporate job must be where he belongs most.

As the courses are served to you one by one, beautifully plated, each accompanied with wines from all over the world, which, according to your waiter, have been carefully chosen to perfectly round up the respective dishes they come with. You find yourself having fun like this, chatting with Jongho while having a fine meal, and the atmosphere of the restaurant only makes the evening feel more special. 

“You know,” you say, “it’s been a long time since I’ve gone out for dinner like this. Dressing up and having good wine and all that.” You swirl the drink around in your glass, watching as a layer of deep red slowly drips back down along the walls. “So, thanks for taking me out here,” you conclude, shooting him a smile across the table, and he reciprocates, before looking away with a hint of shyness on his face.

“So you’re enjoying yourself?” he asks after clearing his throat.

“Yes.”

“I’m glad I chose the right thing to do then,” he says, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Why?” you chuckle. “Were you scared I wouldn’t like it here?”

“I just… wasn’t sure if you’re the type for fancy dinners with wine and candle light and all that,” he says, and your eyes flick over to the candle burning at the edge of your table.

“Wouldn’t everyone enjoy this kind of thing every once in a while?” you wonder out loud, and the man in front of you agrees. “I also don’t get to dress up like this a whole lot,” you continue. “So, that was nice for the first time in a while too.”

“You really do look beautiful today,” he says, giving you a soft smile as he tilts his head to the side a little, and you can’t help but find the image in front of you cute.

“Thank you,” you say, reaching for the stem of your wine glass once again to busy your hands. “I also can’t remember when the last time was that I’ve heard that…” you add, keeping your voice low now. “Even though there was a person I would’ve wanted to hear it from more often.” Jongho raises his eyebrows, indicating he wants you to keep going. “Just…” you hesitate. Should you really mention your ex here?

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” he says quickly, upon noticing you’re indecisive. 

“Right… sorry,” you apologize, taking a quick sip of your beverage.

“It’s alright,” he says, and before the silence between you can get too awkward, he changes the topic. “But… I’ve told you so much about my job since we started talking. I’ve been wondering what you do?”

“Oh. I work with animals,” you explain. “I’m a physiotherapist for animals like… cats, dogs. Mostly those two, but sometimes people also bring in other pets, and we take care of those as well.” 

“Oh,” he gasps, surprise written all over his face.

“What did you think I’d be doing?” you ask, grinning.

“Hm… I don’t know. I was expecting some boring office job, like me,” Jongho admits, and now you let out a short laugh.

“Yeah, no thanks,” you say. “I did study business, actually. But after a year I realized it’s not for me. I wanted to do something to help, you know? Something that’s actually fulfilling.”

“What, filling out excel sheets and handing in reports to your superiour all day doesn’t sound fulfilling to you…?” he questions, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Right, that’s totally the best job in the world…” you say, smiling and rolling your eyes.

“So…” he returns to the original topic, after taking a bite of his food, “you must like animals?”

“Yes,” you answer, smiling to yourself. “I have a cat at the moment too.”

“Right, I did think I heard a meow last time I was with you,” Jongho says.

“Yeah, my Meatball is very shy though, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if you hadn’t noticed he’s there at all.”

“Your meatball?” he repeats, and though you’re sure he understands it’s the cat’s name, he’s still chuckling at the sound of it - and maybe the mental image too. 

“Ah, yeah…” Now you laugh as well, having gotten so used to the name that time and time again you forget it might make other people scratch their heads. “He’s a rescue,” you explain. “Was severely overweight when I got him from the shelter, that’s why they called him that. His previous owners must’ve overfed him… thankfully he’s at a healthy weight now.”

“Ahh, now it makes sense.”

“Yeah. But,” you chuckle, “you still gotta be careful and not leave anything edible out on the table or something. He steals everything if given the chance.”

Dessert is finally served, a variation of chocolates accompanied by some fruit parfait, and it’s just as delicious as everything you’ve been served thus far. 

“This is so good…” you mumble, completely indulged in the food in front of you.

“Right? I really like that they don’t make their desserts too sweet,” Jongho comments.

“Yeah. Maybe I should let my subs take me out for dinner more often at this rate,” you joke, but the guy sitting opposite you doesn’t give you the expected light-hearted reaction.

“You’re seeing other people as well?” he reckons, trying hard to keep his facial expression neutral, but you can tell he must’ve been thinking he’s the only one.

“Yeah, at the moment,” you explain, and you find yourself monitoring him closely for any signs of upset. “I have two other people I sometimes do scenes with nowadays.”

“Right, that makes sense.”

“But what about you?” you try to divert the conversation elsewhere as you notice some tension leaving his shoulders.

“Me?”

“Are you seeing people? Dating anyone?”

“Ah, no,” he answers, and when a smile returns to his lips you too find yourself relaxing. “Aside from you, anyway. It’s… been a while since my last relationship too.”

“Oh?”

“Well, that was… a bit of a complicated situation.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to,” you repeat what he had told you earlier, but he shakes his head.

“It’s not that,” Jongho says, “I just don’t want to… kill the mood I suppose?” His gums show as he gives you an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about that,” you assure him, and so he leans back in his chair, looking around the room as he mutters,

“Where do I even start?”

“That bad?”

“I mean… I had a girlfriend a while back. A couple of years, no… four? Almost four years. Basically our parents set us up, hoping we would get married. You know, two wealthy families, it was about business to them. And our image of course.”

“Right,” you say.

“It’s not that we didn’t get along at all or anything, or that we weren’t attracted to each other. It’s just… after the honeymoon phase, we didn’t really know what to do with each other.”

“So you didn’t match,” you guess, and he nods.

“Yeah. I tried to make things work, to win her over, you know… rekindle the flame I suppose?” He laughs, and you think you can see a hint of bitterness hiding in the corners of his smile. “So I put in an effort.”

“...and?” you ask, expecting this story to take a bad turn quite soon.

“She was seeing other guys.” Jongho doesn’t look at you as he speaks those words, instead staring off into the distance, head turned towards the general direction of the window to his left. 

“You’re still hurt over that, huh?” you dare to say what’s on your mind, and without wavering, he responds,

“Yeah.”

“That sucks…” you look down at your plate, where there’s some remainder of the chocolate cream smeared across the white porcelain, and you drag the tips of your fork across them. 

“It’s how it is,” he says, sighing, and returning his gaze to you. “I’ve been focusing on my studies and then on work ever since, so I didn’t really have the time to date anyone else.” He thinks for a moment, before he adds, “Maybe I’ve been busying myself so much because it would mean I wouldn’t have time for that.” You begin to understand a little more why he seemed hesitant to ask for a meeting between you two after you started chatting online, or why he’s struggling so hard to let go of control, even in situations where he desperately wants to. And somehow now your determination to help him with that as best you can is growing some more, and before you can think, you find yourself reaching out across the table, your hand covering his. You don’t say anything, really, a smile that’s supposed to tell him you sympathize is all you can give here. And it’s not like you don’t get him - your last relationship didn’t exactly go great either, and maybe in that pain of being betrayed by someone you trusted, someone you had committed to, there might be a chance for you two to build yet another connection.

You say goodbye outside on the street, in front of the building where you were dining. Jongho had insisted on paying for the both of you, even after you had assured him you didn’t mind splitting the bill. So you make sure to thank him again, to which he shows you that toothy smile you’re starting to find strangely reassuring, and you find your heart warmed.

“We’ll see each other next week?” you say, finding an expression in his eyes that makes you think he doesn’t want you to leave yet. And still, he nods.

“Yes. Until then.” You wave each other goodbye, and when you turn on your heels to walk to the bus station to get home, you too feel a distant pull on your heart, begging you to stay with him for just a while longer.

“You seemed a little out of focus today.” San states the obvious as you undo the rope you had meticulously tied around this wrists. He gives you a smile while he stares up at you, warmth in his gaze, but you also make out some curiousity shining through.

“I’m really sorry…” you say once he’s freed from his restraints, and he lets his hands sink into his lap, sitting up on your bed with his lower back propped up against the headrest. It was a short session - you kept it like that on purpose, having known from the start that your concentration would give up on you sooner rather than later today, and you honestly feel sorry for him. He doesn’t even look as tired out as usually when you’re done with him, and San seems to sense that something’s weighing you down, because next thing you know after putting the rope aside is that he’s pulling you into his embrace, letting you rest your head against his bare chest. 

“Shouldn’t this be my job…” you mumble, even though you allow for your eyelids to close and your mind to rest for a while.

“Shh,” San shushes you. “Doms need reassurance too. Plus, I can take care of a friend, can’t I?” 

You and San have known each other since forever - high school, to be exact, where you ended up in the same class and somehow formed an alliance to get together for study sessions and to tackle exams together. You’ve stayed in touch ever since, and hooked up a couple of times, until it was him who introduced you to the world of BDSM, and you immediately found yourself in your element. Even now you get together to have sex sometimes, and to satisfy the sub in him from time to time.

“How’s Woo doing?” you ask, letting him cradle you in his embrace for now.

“Don’t try to change the topic,” San scolds you in the softest tone. 

“I really want to know!” you insist, and it wouldn’t be San if he could keep up his strict demeanor for more than a hot second when it comes to you.

“He’s doing fine. Bratty as ever.” You both laugh. “But I’ve got him tamed.”

“That’s my boy,” you chuckle, patting his thigh a few times.

“So? What’s on your mind, Y/N?” You let out an existential sigh. Choi Jongho, obviously. The thought pops up in your mind without permission, and you wonder if you should really keep fighting it so hard - and then you ask yourself why you’re fighting it in the first place.

“It’s just…” you talk eventually, but stop to ponder on your words some more. And then you peel yourself out of San’s hold, and you sit cross legged opposite him, with him mirroring your position. His smile dripping with warmth, he gives you the most sympathetic eyes known to mankind, and you curse him for it out loud.

“Why do you have to be so goddamn trustworthy and empathetic all the time?”

“What?” San laughs, the dimples on his cheeks almost as deep as the confusion in his gaze.

“I just… I met someone, I guess…” you admit.

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows in interest.

“The CEO son… I told you about him.” And now San leans back, arms raised in a stretch before he crosses them behind his head.

“Well this is getting interesting…”

“... Jongho… is his name.”

“Hmm?”

“Stop acting like this!” you yell out of embarrassment.

“Like what? I’m just curious!” San shrugs like he had done nothing wrong.

“Just… I’m not ready for a new relationship yet…” San’s expression becomes serious again as he pieces together the bits of information you give him in an attempt to see the bigger picture, and you continue, “I guess that’s why this feels so conflicting. I like him, don’t get me wrong, but he took me out to dinner this week, and I think he more than just likes me.”

“You went on a date?” Surprise echoes in your friend’s words.

“It wasn’t a date. We just went out together.”

“That sounds like a date to me…”

“It wasn’t-... well maybe it was.” You pause, staring at the bedsheets underneath you. “I wish it wasn’t.”

“Come here,” San spreads his arms, beckoning you to come closer, and you let him engulf you in yet another warm hug. “If you’re not ready for another relationship after what happened, you can simply tell him that, can’t you?” It’s such an obvious piece of advice, and yet it seems to have so much more weight, now, that you’re hearing it from one of your oldest friends, and not just as a constantly recurring thought in your head.

“Right.”

“Do you think he might react badly?” You think about it for a while. It’s not like you know Jongho well enough to have gained a deep understanding of how he works in situations like these, but your gut feeling tells you he’ll at least be reasonable about it.

“Probably not,” you say finally.

“You’ll be fine,” San encourages you, and he lets you rest against his strong figure for a while. “But now I’m curious…” he continues eventually. 

“Hm?”

“How is he?” He shoots you a smirk, and immediately several memories from the times you’ve been with Jongho so far flash by your inner eye.

“... haven’t had someone like him in a while. Actually, I haven’t had someone like him at all. A tough nut to crack.” You shoot San a knowing look. “But so worth it.”

“Hmm? Well, I’m glad you’re having your fun with him.”

“Yeah… it’s fun,” you say, and you can’t help but think of all the other things having sex with him is.

“I’m going to miss you,” San then says, without adding too much weight to the words - probably in an attempt not to burden you, but they hit you where it hurts anyway.

“What are you saying?”

“Well, we know you don’t do things like me and Wooyoung. When you’re dating someone, you’re dating just them.”

“Did you listen to any of what I just said?” You turn around to shoot San a look full of offense, and you’re met with a broad, playful smile from his side.

“Well, I feel like it’s only a matter of time with this one…”

“Choi San!” You call out his full name, only adding to his amusement. “Did you listen. To anything. I just said?”

“I did, I did, I’m sorry.” Your friend’s features soften as he falls forward to rest his chin atop your shoulder. You can’t tell if he was joking or not, if he was teasing you or if he really thinks there’s a chance being with Jongho would mend your heart enough for you to be ready to trust again. To fall in love again. And you know there’s currently nobody in your life who knows you better than San does. And yet, you can’t be mad at him.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” your friend speaks up, reaching out to put his hand over yours, thumb rubbing a few soothing circles onto your skin. “Take your time.”

“So that gave me a few sleepless nights, but fortunately we got the deal… oh, is that Meatball?” You turn your head into the general direction of where Jongho is looking, and find your cat’s pitch black fur blending into the shadows at the foot of one of the shelves in your living room.

“Ah, yes,” you say, and you smile at the small creature. “My grumpy old boy.” His yellow eyes are intently watching you and your visitor where you’re sitting across each other at your dinner table, and after a while of observing the both of you, he decides it’s time to venture closer. Stretching his body thoroughly as he gets up, he slowly walks a little closer, and then sits down halfway to watch Jongho with curiousity. 

“Do you like cats?” you ask as Meatball proceeds to clean his hind legs. 

“They’re quiet,” Jongho responds, not taking his eyes off your pet.

“I see,” you say, chuckling, and then you observe as Meatball comes yet a little closer, and you’re surprised to see him hop up onto Jongho’s lap, who seems flustered by the cat’s action. “I think he likes you,” you comment, and you find it amusing how the guy in front of you doesn’t seem too sure of what to do with Meatball rolling up in his lap, fully intent on taking a nap by the looks of it. However, he relaxes eventually.

“Can I pet him?”

“You can try,” you say. “If he doesn’t like it he’ll get up and leave.”

“Ah… so he doesn’t bite or anything?” Jongho asks, his palm finding the pitch black fur and Meatball doesn’t react as he strokes him from head to tail a few times.

“He does,” you say, pulling up the sleeve on your left arm and showing him the half healed scratches Meatball had given you just last week. “He hates taking his meds.”

“I see,” Jongho chuckles, continuously petting the cat in his lap.

“He’s used to it, so usually he’ll just accept his fate. But sometimes his fighting spirit comes out,” you explain, laughing, and the guy sitting opposite you laughs as well. “But in a situation where he can escape, he’ll rather do that. So no need to worry.”

“I see… oh?” Meatball gets up, and, seemingly having had enough coddling for today, jumps down onto the floor to spread out and continue his nap there. “He’s had enough, huh?”

“Looks like it,” you respond, and for a while you both end up just watching his sleeping figure. However, you eventually tear yourself away from the adorable image, remembering what you had planned to have a conversation about before starting your scene today.

“Uhm…” you clear your throat. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” Jongho asks, shooting you a smile. 

“So… we’ve been getting closer even… outside of the bedroom, right?” you say, unsure how to start the conversation, but you know you’ll have to start somewhere, even if things come out a bit awkwardly.

“Right.”

“And it feels like… you really like me. I mean, I like you too, just…”

“What is it?” Jongho raises his eyebrows, and you find a hint of concern hiding behind his gaze.

“Look…” You place your hands on top of the table in front of you. “Before this can go in any direction where we’re not on the same page anymore… I just felt like I should tell you that I’m currently not looking for a romantic relationship.” Silence falls over the room as soon as the words are out, and if you’re being quite honest, you’re a little scared of his reaction. You’ve been very sure there’s more going on here than just sex for him, and you can’t say you’re not taking a liking to him as well. But with your very recent past experiences, you just can’t see yourself already dating someone new. And he deserves to know that, so you know you’re doing the right thing by telling him that. However, at the same time there’s a part of you that’s scared he’ll want to stop seeing you altogether in that case.

“I see,” he eventually answers.

“It’s not you, it’s…” You pause as Jongho holds his breath, waiting for your explanation. “It just hasn’t been long enough for me to… get over my last relationship.”

“Ah…”

“I mean- get over isn’t the right wording. More like… heal?”

“Can I ask… what happened?” he poses a question. Memories flash by your inner eye, and along with them you feel the pain as if everything had happened just yesterday.

“Well… I had a long-term partner until about… five months ago?” you say, while simultaneously deciding you really don’t want to dive into any details right now. Explaining this out loud even just vaguely still hurts a little too much to handle. “We had a pretty bad breakup where a lot of stuff came up… like, that he’s been lying to me about all kinds of stuff. And looking back he never really was a safe person to be with emotionally, but I only realized it when it became clear we’d split up. So…”

“Right… I get that you need a lot of time to recover from something like that,” Jongho answers.

“Yeah…” You take a deep breath. “I’ve been with him for a long time too…” Your ex’s face appears in your mind, and the memories of the man you had once loved and admired so much now just makes you feel sick inside. A touch against your knuckles - Jongho’s hand grazing yours - brings you back to reality, and a look at his face stirs up conflicting emotions deep within you. However, once you watch his lips part for him to speak, and the soothing sound of his voice wraps itself around your ears, an unexpected wave of reassurance washes over you.

“You’re right, by the way,” he says, pausing as he looks around in search of just the right words. “About me liking you beyond just… someone I sometimes get together to have sex with.” You nod at his words as you listen to him speak. “But I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or that triggers anything you’re not ready to face.” And then he hesitates, as if it was difficult for him to get his next words out, and as your hand slips into his in order to encourage him to keep going, you feel the dynamic between you two shifting into what you’re most comfortable with. You feel you have taken back some control over the situation, and that makes you feel safe. 

“So, how do you feel about this now? About us.” You ask a question, hoping it would help him speak his mind, and yet it takes him a while before he can reply.

“What I want… is to keep seeing you,” he eventually says, though it seems hard for him to look at you while speaking so honestly, and you give his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him to keep going. “I understand that dating someone would be difficult for you after something like that. So…” His gaze finds you now, and the sudden determination reflecting in his eyes makes your heart stop for a second. “It’d be fine with me if we kept in touch as just friends for now.”

“Ah…” you sigh, as the remainder of the tension and the anxiety about his response leave your body at once. “I would like that too. As I said, I do like you, and I enjoy spending time with you. It’s just…”

“Not the right time for more,” he finishes your sentence and you nod, relieved that he understands.

“Yeah.”

“That’s okay. Oh, but… Y/N,” he calls out to you, a little hesitant.

“What is it?”

“Does this mean… you want to stop doing scenes with me too?” You raise your eyebrows at him, staring blankly for a second, and he’s quick to add, “I mean, of course I’ll respect that if you don’t want to-” Upon him lifting his hands, waving them in front of his chest and his ears turning a bright shade of red as he’s afraid he might’ve said something wrong, you smile and you get up off your chair, approaching him, and when you’re standing right next to him you capture his chin between your thumb and index finger.

“If you still want to play after this, I’d like to as well,” you assure him, your tone soft, and you brush your thumb along his bottom lip as he glances up at you, need filling his eyes.

“Yes,” he breathes. “I still want to.”

“Then follow me. I wanna try something a bit different today,” you say as you lead him to your bedroom.

He lets you peel off his shirt without resistance, his palms landing on your hips as soon as his bare chest comes into view. And though something inside you wants to escape his touch and swat away his hands so as not to let him have even a fraction of control about the situation, you let it be for now. Instead, you draw closer to him, your fingers finding the buckle of his belt, never once breaking eye contact even when your lips are merely an inch apart. He kisses you back confidently once you close the distance between the two of you, and as his hands attempt to wander up your sides, you’re quick to grab his wrists and tear them away.

“Don’t touch me unless I tell you to,” you mutter dangerously, and though he doesn’t try to escape your grip, in the way he continues kissing you hard you find the desire to overpower you. “That’s enough,” you warn him as you take a few steps back. “Stay right there.” You throw another command at him, and you keep watching him as you rid yourself of your own clothes, revealing the harness you’ve been wearing all this while and no underwear. You’re amused by the way he’s ogling your figure, and a smile creeps onto your lips when you walk over to one of the drawers in your room in order to retrieve a pair of handcuffs from it. 

“You remember talking about this, don’t you?” you say on your way back to him, watching him gulp.

“Yes.” His curt answer intrigues you, as well as the sudden uncertainty behind his expression.

“This is what I wanna try today,” you explain. “Would you be okay with that?” Jongho thinks for a while, and as soon as he nods you run your hand up his chest and comb your fingers through his hair. “That’s what I wanna hear. Good boy,” you coo, and as per usual at this point of a scene, he doesn’t react much to the praise. Then your hand finds the hem of his pants, and as you tug at the fabric, you say, “Off with these.” This time he listens without hesitation, and you let your eyes take in his shapes as he rids himself of the remainder of clothes as well.

“Down.” You give him one simple command, and you watch as the struggle of considering whether he should listen to you or not reflects in the way he keeps his gaze fixated on you while you circle him on light steps. “Didn’t hear me?” you pry, raising your eyebrows at him, and you place your free hand below his chin, drawing near. Thumb brushing across his lower lip, you dig your nail into the plush for a moment, while biting your own bottom lip - the need to kiss him stupid arises within you, but you resist. Now is not the time for that, not when he’s disobeying you like this. Your gaze returns from his mouth to his dark brown eyes, and you decide to stay patient. You stop your movement and merely stare at him, and when his resolve finally wavers, he sinks to his knees, keeping his eyes on yours as his features soften. The look he gives you now hides so many things, you have to take a moment to dismantle all that you can read in it. First and foremost, need. Devotion. Hopefulness. Obedience. Submission. 

You let the emotions it stirs awake deep within you almost sweep you away, but you manage to collect yourself, and you speak another command, “Hands behind your back, pretty boy.” Your voice is soft, wanting to relay to him that you’re proud of him, and when he complies - though not without hesitation - you cuff his wrists together. Then you walk around him and you sit down at the foot of your bed, right in front of him, and with a gesture of your hand, you beckon him to come closer. Fingers lacing through his hair, you observe how his eyelids flutter shut for a moment, lips parting, and he leans into your gentle touch.

“That’s right…” you speak, and the way he peeks up at you is filled with both need and desire. You spread your legs apart, and you inch a little closer to the edge of the bed. “You know what I think?” you say, and Jongho waits for you to tell him the answer to your question. Your hand travels down from the top of his head to his lips, parting them so you could run your thumb across the bottom row of his teeth. “I was thinking you should put that pretty mouth of yours to use.” You can see his adam’s apple move as he gulps at your words, and on his knees he crawls closer yet. His gaze falls to your core immediately, laid out for him to bury his face right there, but with a tug on his hair you stop him.

“Not so greedy,” you say, and you chuckle. “You really think you can please me when you’re driven by nothing but hunger?” Wide-eyed, he stares up at you, and where you had expected a cheeky comment about how he knows how to give good head, you find only silence. “What?” you mock him. “Don’t tell me you forgot how to eat pussy?” And now you must’ve struck something within him, because you can see his eyebrows knit in dismay.

“I know what I’m doing,” he responds somewhat coldly.

“Then prove it.” Without making you wait, he goes in with a bite to the inside of your thigh that ends up being harsher than it would’ve had to be, and you immediately yank on his hair as a punishment. “Getting cheeky, are we?” You receive a glare from Jongho while he kneels between your legs, and though his anger directed at you like that affects you in all the best ways, you know you’re very close to crossing a line for him. You loosen your grip on his hair, massaging his scalp as you continue, “Gentle, or you’re not getting anything at all.” He glares up at you for a few seconds longer, but then reason wins him over, and he goes in more slowly this time. His expression softens while his lips brush against your skin, and he begins kissing his way to your middle. Reaching the spot he had sunk his teeth into just a moment ago, his tongue darts across the marks his little stunt had left, licking them better.

“That’s right,” you praise him. “That’s a good boy.” He hums at your words very quietly, and him already reacting to your praise satisfies you. Playing with his hair, you let him come closer, and when his hot breath hits your core, you let out a deep sigh. He looks up at you as his lips brush against your folds. Then he extends his tongue to lick up a stripe, and his eyes close upon tasting you. The warmth of his tongue pressing against your pussy has you letting out a breathy moan, and you notice how he’s carefully mapping you out - kissing your clit, dragging the tip of his wet muscle along your folds, dipping it inside of your hole only to come back up. And all the while he watches for your every reaction, set on figuring out how to best please you, while intentionally - or so you think, at least - riling you up by slowly testing out whatever comes to mind.

“Wanna do good for me, hm?” you guess, brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. He responds by pushing his tongue inside of you, slowly, and as he pulls back out, you see him licking his lips. 

“Yes…” he whispers, not daring to look at you now, and you smile at what you can only interpret as shyness.

“Then make me cum,” you say. “And you might just get a reward.” His gaze returns to your face, and eager to please, he wraps his lips around your clit, beginning to gently suck on it. You gasp when his teeth graze the sensitive bud, and you pull away for a moment - you sure as hell aren’t planning on making this easy for him. Allowing him to dive back in, he tries a different approach, this time using his tongue to probe your reaction to him flicking it across the bundle of nerves. With you settling back in against his face he continues, giving it some time now before he starts putting some more pressure behind his movements to make you feel his touch more intensely. The timing being right this time, it makes you moan, and you can slowly feel the pleasure building up in your gut. Again, he keeps doing the same thing while never taking his gaze off of your face, and when he can see you getting slightly underwhelmed by his repeated motions, he lets his tongue wander south, licking into your dripping hole.

“Mmh…” A moan falls from your lips, and you throw your head back for a moment. Jongho takes it as a sign to continue, and when he begins thrusting his muscle in and out of you, you tug at his hair from the heat it sends rushing through your veins. “Feels nice…” you mutter, and when your eyes return to his face buried in your pussy, you find him slowly getting drunk on your taste. And then, just as you’re about to wonder whether you should tell him to switch up what he’s doing, he pulls back out and goes back to drawing figure eights on your clit. You hiss at the feeling - both at how good the sensation of his warm touch against your sensitive bud is, and at how empty him retracting from inside of you is leaving you. For just a moment you curse yourself for deciding to handcuff him, knowing just how good his long fingers would feel inside of you right now, but then you remember you were gonna make this a tedious task for him on purpose, and so you push that thought away.

“Doing really good for me…” you praise him. “But… it’s gonna take you ages to make me cum like that.” The challenging look you send him is met with acceptance, and as he gently bites down on your clit this time, your breath hitches in return, a wave of pleasure shooting right through you like lightning. And he doesn’t miss the opportunity to send you a shit-eating grin upon seeing how he just affected you, but before you can punish him for it, his tongue is already plunging back into your cunt, and you arch your back, pushing your core towards him. He hums at your reactions, pulling back out to draw a few circles onto your clit, and then diving right back in, lapping at your walls. As he repeats that process a few times, you can finally feel your high starting to build up somewhere in the distance, and yet you know this much won’t be enough to throw you over the edge.

“Shit, do more…” you say, and he continues eating you out eagerly, and then finally he angles his face so the tip of his nose brushes against your sensitive bud with each time his tongue fucks into you, and another moan falls from your lips. “Like that…” you say, breathless, and you tighten your grip on his hair. “Keep going just like that…” And he does, eyes closed as he continues licking up into you, nose rubbing up and down on your clit. You spread your legs apart just a little further, wriggling as close to him as you possibly can in order to allow him to reach deeper up into you, and when he moans in response the vibrations shooting up your cunt make you shiver involuntarily. “Fuck, Jongho…” you curse, and hearing his name only serves to make him more eager. A few more strokes of his tongue against that delicious spot right inside of you, and you come undone, your walls contracting around his wet muscle as you let your high overwhelm you.

“Did so well for me…” you praise him as you let go of his hair, and he pulls back. He licks up your juices glistening on his lips, and as you look down on him, you can unmistakably see how much eating you out has turned him on as well. “Get up,” you say, and he does. “And turn around.” You take the handcuffs off him, and as soon as he’s facing you again, you sit back against the headrest of your bed, and you make him come closer, until you have him kneeling right in front of you.

“Get yourself off. I wanna watch,” you command. He doesn’t think twice until his large hand wraps around his hard cock, and the heavy sighs he lets you hear as he jerks himself off tell you how much he must’ve been needing this. He falls forward, his free hand supporting him against the headboard right next to you, and like this, slightly leaned over your body, face distorted in desperation for a release, he ruts into his hand. His eyes wander your figure, fist tightly squeezing around his length, and within mere seconds he cums with a broken moan, spilling his seed all over you. Feeling the sticky white on your stomach and chest, you grant him a few moments to catch his breath, and then you reach out to push him back onto his heels.

“Look at the mess you made…” you growl, and in the way he takes in the image in front of him, you can clearly tell he likes the result of what he’s done. “And you didn’t even last more than a hot minute, huh?” you mock him. Reaching for the handcuffs you had simply tossed aside on the bed, you make him hold out his wrists for you to link them back together, in front of him this time. “Clean up your mess.” You think maybe it’s because making him struggle a bit just earlier that he doesn’t hesitate, but either way you make sure to praise him for getting to work almost immediately. He bends over, tongue lapping at your body to lick off his seed, and he doesn’t frown or complain - he simply does what you’ve asked of him. And the way he so eagerly cleans you up is making you want to force him to please you all over again, and suddenly you remember the question San had asked you when you last saw him. 

“How is he?” The words echo in your head as Jongho reaches your core, his position looking somewhat sorry, but that doesn’t stop him from lapping at your still sensitive pussy as soon as you give him the okay. 

“Wait,” you say, making him sit up briefly, just long enough so you could take the handcuffs off him. You trust that he wouldn’t do anything stupid at this point, so you fling the restraints to the side, and you lie down flat on your back so he could reach where you want him more comfortably. “Get to work, pretty boy,” you say, and he does, throwing your legs over his shoulders and burying his face in your core.

“Doing so good…” you mutter as you watch him, lips wrapped around your clit and sucking, while he pushes two of his fingers into you, stretching you out, and you throw your head back from the feeling of being filled up like this. You had been right, his fingers inside you combined with his mouth working your bundle of nerves really do feel amazing.

Amazing. That’s what he is. But you don’t say that out loud. Instead, you keep urging him on to continue what he’s doing with all other sorts of praise, bucking your hips into his touch, and making him fuck you from one high to the next for however long you feel like it.

“That’s a good boy… shit… listen so well… such a good toy for me…”

“Sorry I’m late!” One of your friends rushes towards the table as Wooyoung is in the process of pouring everyone their first round of shots. 

“You have to drink two for being late!” someone else yells and everyone agrees with laughter. Meanwhile you’re busy grilling some meat for everyone - pork belly, the usual for when all of you manage to make time for you to gather like in the old days. The soju shots are handed out, and you all say cheers, emptying the tiny glasses at once. You continue the conversation you’ve been having before the late comer announced her arrival, and soon enough, Wooyoung decides it’s time for another round of shots.

“What’s with you today?” Hongjoong, who sits right across from him on the round table asks. 

“What do you mean, what’s with me?” the younger man answers. “I’m here to have fun. But I can get you a glass of water in case you’re not.” His cynical comment evokes laughter, and Hongjoong fires back,

“Bring it on.” Next to you, San shakes his head.

“These two…”

“Yeah,” you agree, cutting the meat into bite sized pieces for everyone. “I bet by the end of this at least one of them is passed out on the toilet again.” San smiles, yelling over the table at his boyfriend,

“I’m not carrying you home this time, princess!” However, Wooyoung seems to have heard nothing but the last part, because now he’s grinning from ear to ear, blushing, handing out the glasses to everyone.

“Pff,” you snort upon witnessing their interaction, and when you see the display of your phone lighting up on the table, you shift your attention there. Handing San the tongs and the pair of scissors to continue cooking the meat, you unlock your phone to read the full message sent by Jongho.

“I think I’ll buy it, but I’ll wait for it to go on sale. Btw, I’m free on saturday, if you want to meet up?” You type up a quick answer.

“can’t make saturday. meatball has a vet appointment and then i gotta run some errands ㅜㅜ what about next week?”

You put down the device and return your attention to the conversation at the table, but soon enough your phone lights up again.

“Actually, can we call real quick?”

“sure” You get up, not saying a word, expecting you’ll be back soon enough anyway, and then you leave the busy restaurant. Outside, it is definitely a lot quieter, and standing at the side of the road, you give Jongho a call.

“Y/N? Hi.”

“Hi… what is it?”

“Ah… I just thought it’d be quicker this way.”

“Oh,” you let out a laugh. “I thought something happened.”

“No, no, don’t worry. I just… actually prefer calls to texting.”

“Oh. I get that. So?” You pause for a short moment. “Next week?”

“I could do Friday.”

“Works for me. At 5?”

“7? I’m not sure when I’ll be able to leave work…” he says, sounding somewhat apologetic.

“7 it is,” you reply.

“Nice,” you hear him say.

“Where do you want to meet? We could go to this café near me, the one I told you about last time.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place? I think I need some peace and quiet after a full week of work.”

“Sure,” you smile even though he can’t see you. “Your place then. You have to send me the address.”

“Will do.” 

“Great,” you say, and then the line goes quiet. Yet neither of you hangs up, so eventually you add, “So… how was your day?”

“It was alright. I only had one meeting in the morning. The company had stew for lunch today, so I ate at the cafeteria for the first time in a while.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“And you?”

“Ah, I’m out with friends right now. You know, my old high school friends.”

“I hope you have fun, then!”

“Yeah, it’s always fun when we see each other,” you assure him, and somehow the way you’re exchanging trivialities like this makes you feel a little closer to him. “I feel like one of them is trying to get all of us drunk today though. So we see how that ends,” you laugh, and so does Jongho.

“Well, I happen to know a very effective recipe for a hangover soup. So if you need me, just call,” he offers.

“Thanks,” you say. “Not trying to reach that state, but I’ll keep it in mind. Oh, but, I think I should go back in. I’m in charge of the grill today, so they’ll start complaining if I don’t come back to feed them soon.”

“Right,” he answers. “Then go. We’ll talk.”

“Yeah. Hanging up!” 

“Bye,” he greets, and for a second you hesitate to press the red button to end the call, and you sigh when he beats you to it. As you’re putting your phone into your pocket, you find a somewhat appalled San approaching you.

“Y/N, is everything alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“Just… you were suddenly gone, so I thought I’d check on you,” he says, seemingly embarrassed about how gravely he had misjudged the situation. You shoot him a smile.

“It’s okay, no need to worry. I was just talking to Jongho about meeting him.”

“Oh?” Now your friend raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously. “I thought you didn’t want to go on dates with him…?”

“It’s not a date!” you immediately refute. “We’re just seeing each other as friends. Is that so bad?”

“No?” San fails to repress a grin and he teases, “You sure it’s not a date?”

“Very sure,” you say. After all, you and Jongho had agreed to keep things friendly outside of the bedroom for now. “It’s not a date if the two of us meet up either, is it now?” you state, pointing at San and then yourself.

“No,” your friend agrees.

“See? Nothing to giggle about then. Let’s go back in,” you decide, and you put your hand onto his shoulder to push him towards the direction you both came from.

As soon as you enter Jongho’s apartment, you look around in awe. It’s neat, it’s modern, it’s spacious, and the rent is probably in a range you’d never even dream of earning in your lifetime ever. The walls are all white, the furniture is mostly black with some silver metal rods connecting everything elegantly, you find a grey rug underneath the coffee table that has a glass pane as its top, and the windows are tall - you figure they let in a lot of light during the day, but now, in the evening, they grant a magnificent view of the lights and the bustling nightlife in the city underneath. 

“Whoa…” you gasp, slipping out of your shoes and walking inside right behind Jongho. “So that’s how rich people live, huh.”

“Ahh, it’s not that impressive,” he waves it off, but you shake your head.

“Uhm, excuse me, you do know what my flat looks like, yeah? This here is more than twice the size!” you refute, and then you add, “I just think you’re lucky to be able to afford to live so comfortably.”

“Right,” Jongho agrees, and he loosens his tie as he walks over to the open kitchen. “Do you want anything? Water? Alcohol?” 

“What, wanna get drunk tonight?” you ask with a grin on your lips and you follow him. Catching a glimpse of the contents of one of the cabinets, you can see he doesn’t have a lot of tableware - which makes sense, considering he lives alone. 

“Honestly, I need it…” the guy sighs, looking away. The bags under his eyes are apparent, exhaustion carved into his features, and you wonder if it’s from the usual stress or if something additional happened. “Do you like drinking?”

“From time to time, yeah,” you answer, and you watch him walking out into the living room, opening a different cupboard there, to reveal several bottles of assorted alcoholic beverages. “I take it you enjoy it quite a bit?” you guess, and he gives you a tired laugh.

“Yeah… how about this?” He holds up a bottle of whiskey, and you wonder how many hours you’d have to work to be able to afford an expensive looking bottle like this.

“Whatever you can recommend,” you say. “I don’t know that much about what brands are good.”

“Then we’ll go with this,” he decides, and after bringing over two tumblers and pouring each of you a glass, he sits down on the sofa, inviting you to do the same. 

“Cheers,” he raises his glass, and you follow suit.

“Cheers.” You end up quite enjoying the rich taste of the beverage, along with the slight burn it leaves as it goes down your throat. You make sure to drink it slowly, savouring the taste, and yet soon enough you both find yourselves having emptied your glasses.

“Seconds?” Jongho offers, and you nod. “Oh, do you want ice in it?”

“Sure,” you say, adding with a grin as you watch him walking over to the kitchen for the ice. “You are trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?”

“No, no,” he denies it with a shy smile on his face, and you both laugh. You use the few moments that it takes him until he comes back to scan your surroundings again. There’s not many decorations on the shelves or the wall, a picture that has not been hung up yet and a candle that looks like it’s been lit maybe once. You also find a guitar in one corner of the room - a classical one, and you wonder if he’s good at playing it.

“There you go.” He returns with an adequate amount of ice, and he pours the both of you another drink. You watch as he brings the glass to his lips, taking a sip, and savouring it for a moment before he lets it glide down his throat.

“Had a rough day?” you too take a sip after posing your question.

“Yeah…” the guy next to you answers, and as he puts down his glass, his gaze finds you. “I need a distraction, I think.”

“A distraction? What are you thinking about?”

“You know… what we always do.”

“Ah…” you sigh and you set your glass down on the coffee table in front of you, before turning to him, leaning your body against the backrest of the sofa and placing your palm on top of his thigh. “I don’t do scenes when I’ve had a drink.” You can see the disappointment reflecting in his gaze, though Jongho tries his best not to show it. It’s enough to make you feel bad for having to turn him down though - even when you know it’s for the best. “I could… offer something else though.”

“What?” he asks, looking directly at you with his head cocked slightly to the side, his gaze taking in your features.

“Well… for starters, you seem like you could use a nice hot bath,” you suggest, your thumb drawing circles onto the fabric of his dress pants. “And then you can tell me all about what made you this stressed and tired. Does that sound good?” He nods, his eyes not leaving your face as your fingertips dance from his leg to his stomach, hand coming to a rest there. “And then maybe I’ll make you feel good too… just nothing too extreme today, yeah?” You reach up into his hair, combing it back with your fingers, and at this point his stare lingers on your lips so very obviously. Still, you don’t give him what he wants just yet. Instead, you get up and you position yourself right in front of him, cupping his chin in your hand.

“What?” you chuckle, while he stares up at you with round eyes. “Want a kiss?” Jongho nods and you reach for your glass that is still half full. “I have a better idea.” You take a sip of the cool liquid, and then you bring the tumbler to his lips, feeding him the remainder of the alcohol inside. You watch as he drinks up, feeling the movements along his throat with each gulp he takes, and he blushes upon hearing you mutter,

“Swallow. That’s a good boy.” With him expectantly staring up at you as soon as the glass is empty, you brush your thumb across his bottom lip, and his eyes flutter shut for a moment upon feeling your touch. You lean in, finally granting him a kiss, and as your tongue licks into his mouth, you can still taste the remainder of the alcohol. 

“Let’s go?” you then say, speaking softly, while you part from him slowly. He merely follows you into the bathroom wordlessly, giving you a good idea of just how tired he is, and as you think to yourself that either way this isn’t a state where you’d want to do a scene with him, you also feel the strong urge to take care of him in any way you can bubbling up from deep inside. 

And so you take him by the hand after you close the bathroom door behind you, and you scatter a few kisses in his neck at which he lets out a deep sigh, before you undo his tie for him and you toss it to the side. He reaches up to unbutton his white shirt, but you gently push his hands away, whispering,

“Let me do it.” You take off his clothes one by one, filling the tub up with some nice hot water, and you add some bath salt that you find in one of the cabinets. Ridding yourself of your clothes as well, you get into the bathtub first, sitting at one end of it so you could let him comfortably lean his back against your chest, and as soon as he’s all settled in, your arms snake around his waist. His eyes fall shut with a groan almost immediately, and as your lips brush against his temple, you stop yourself from placing a kiss there. You notice your face has heated up from the warm water, the alcohol in your veins, or maybe the way you feel you’ve never quite been as intimate with him as right now, and you reach over to the bottle of shampoo sitting beside the bathtub. You squirt a generous amount of it into your hands, and as your fingers are working the shampoo into his hair, gently massaging his scalp, you can feel his body relax against you, along with him letting out a deep sigh.

“Feels good?” you ask, and he mumbles,

“Myeah…” 

“So… you wanna talk about anything? Or just stay like this and have me spoil you a bit?” you ask, and it takes him some time to decide on an answer.

“Mmmm… both?” he says while the corners of his mouth curl up into a weak smile. 

“Alright,” you mutter, rinsing his hair, making sure none of the soap gets into his face.

“It’s just…” he sighs, knitting his eyebrows. “Some days I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore.”

“Your job?” you say.

“Yeah… I mean…” he pauses for a while to collect his thoughts. “I’m given more and more responsibilities. I’m not sure when my father is planning on retiring exactly, but it feels like he’s preparing to do it soon? Maybe within the next few years I’ll be able to follow in his footsteps. He hasn’t once asked me whether I really wanted that or not.”

“He just assumes you will do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you are doing it…” you throw in, your fingertips dancing down to his chest. 

“What choice do I have?” Jongho responds. And though you decided long ago that you yourself would walk a different path than the one set out for you, it’s not like you don’t understand why he’s doing it. 

“You’re loyal to your father,” you conclude.

“Yeah…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “Sometimes I wish I was brave enough to rebel.” Combing your fingers through his wet hair, you hum at his words.

“For somebody who needs to be coerced into following orders when it comes to me, you sure are timid.”

“Whatever…” He pouts at your observation, but soon enough the exhaustion takes back over, and his facial features relax as he leans his head against your shoulder. You let your palms wander down his torso slowly, and when you graze his core, he lets out a soft moan.

“I hope you can do what you really want to do,” you then say, as you wrap your fingers around him, feeling him grow as you slowly move up and down his length. “I don’t know how realistic it is to change professions from one day to the other. But I really hope there’s a way for you to do music.”

“Mhm…” he sighs as his body reacts to your touch. 

“If I can help you with this somehow… you know where to find me,” you add, and when your fist reaches his tip, he whines a little.

“I know…” he says, and after a few more strokes of your hand he proceeds, “You’re already helping a lot.” You smile at his words, and at the way he sucks in a breath as the pleasure flows through his body. “But…”

“Hm?”

“No games today?” He raises an eyebrow at you, glancing at you from the corner of his eye, and you have to think for a second to understand what he’s referring to.

“Ah, no… I told you we’re not doing anything crazy while half drunk,” you respond.

“I know, but… this just seems very out of character,” he chuckles, and it’s not like you don’t find yourself agreeing.

“I just wanna make you feel good today,” you say. “You don’t like that?”

“No, no, I do…” he sighs and you know he’s getting closer and closer upon hearing him moaning. 

“I just…” you say, and you earn yourself a disappointed gasp when you stop your movements. “I’ve actually… had something on my mind as well.”

“What is it?” he asks, though it takes him a while to swallow the frustration of you ceasing your touch. Wrapping your arms around his torso now, you speak,

“I’ve just been wondering… if it’s really okay for me to do to you what I’m doing…”

“What do you mean?”

“Forcing you into submission.”

“Ahh…” Silence follows, and Jongho puts one hand over yours that’s resting on his stomach. 

“It’s just… sometimes I wonder if you really want that. Because it’s often so hard for you to let go and go there.”

“I do…” His answer is merely a whisper, and somehow you’re not convinced.

“You sure?” You feel him squeezing your hand in his, and he turns his head as far as he can so he could look at your face properly.

“It’s hard for me, that’s true,” he says. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it… once you do get me to submit…” You repeat his words in your mind, hoping they would wash away your doubts. You can trust him on things like this, you feel that deep inside, but sometimes you just can’t help but wonder. “And besides… you always take really good care of me. Even now you said you wouldn’t do a scene when you had something to drink. I assume not everyone is that responsible.”

“That’s true…” He turns his head back to look straight ahead, and you feel him intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I feel like I’m in safe hands with you. And if you ever do something I don’t enjoy, I will let you know.”

“Right… thank you,” you mutter, burying your face in the crook of his neck and resting your head there for a while. “That’s reassuring to hear.” You stay like this for some time, just holding him close and listening to each other’s breathing as you enjoy the warmth of the water. “You know what I think?” you eventually speak up. 

“What?” Jongho answers with a bit of a delay, making you think he might’ve been dozing off a bit.

“We should get ourselves to bed. You’ve had a rough day, and you need the rest.”

“So… you’re staying overnight?” he assumes, sounding a little surprised.

“If it’s okay with you… I think the trains will stop running soon anyway,” you make up an excuse, though you’re not exactly sure what time it is. But either way he doesn’t question it and you both get out of the water, wrapping yourselves into two large towels to dry off. You grab a smaller one to throw over his head, and as you roughly rub it against his wet hair, he sends you a boyish grin that makes your heart beat just a little bit faster.

When you’re about to reach for your clothes, Jongho takes you by the hand instead, and next thing you know your back meets the tiles on his bathroom wall, and his lips connect to yours. After but a moment of hesitation, you do the only thing that comes to mind, and you kiss him back, lips moving against each other in a slow rhythm. Drawing closer, his hands find purchase on your hips, and when he presses his body against yours, you moan quietly into his mouth. None of you speaks a word when you part, and though you had planned to simply slip under the covers together and tuck him in, you don’t feel any kind of objection within yourself against where he’s taking this night instead.

You stumble into the bedroom, your towels scattered somewhere on the floor, and when he gently pushes you down on the sheets, crawling on top of you, you can hear him whisper,

“Is this alright with you?” 

“Yeah…” you answer when his lips graze your neck, and your hand finds its way up into his hair as he begins trailing tired kisses down your sternum and belly. At this point you can see just how badly he needs some sleep, but even when you try to convey that to him, he shakes his head.

“Just a bit longer…” he mutters as he lies down beside you, rolling you over onto your side so your back is facing him. “Need you…” You suck in a sharp breath as he mutters those words, and his hot breath hits the back of your neck before you feel his lips connecting to the skin there. He pulls you closer by your hip, until you can feel his length against your behind, and his fingertips wander towards your core while he keeps kissing and nipping at your neck and shoulders.

“Shit…” you breathe, and your body immediately reacts to him running a finger through your folds and then dipping it inside your wet cunt effortlessly. He moans at the sensation and at how ready you are for him, and he snakes his other arm around you from underneath to keep you as close to him as possible. You whine when he slips out of you, lifting your leg up a bit instead for better access, and when you feel his tip grazing your pussy, a shiver full of expectation runs down your spine. You’re so used to long and intense sessions when you’re fucking someone, always staying on top of the situation and keeping control, but every once in a while this is nice too - or maybe your body and mind are reacting to him especially strongly. Either way, you moan when he pushes up into you, and his name escapes you when he begins to roll his hips. His thrusts are sloppy and lack control, purely guided by desperation and the need to be inside of you, but combined with the way his fingers are drawing precise circles against your clit, he’s getting you right where you wants you anyway. And with your back arched just at the right angle, he hits that sweet spot deep inside your cunt with every time he thrusts back in.

“Fuck…” he curses in between letting you hear the prettiest moans, and the sound of his voice only adds to the pleasure rushing through your body. 

“Jongho…” you breathe as he ruts into you faster. “Don’t stop… don’t you dare stop…” He whines in response, his dick twitching inside of you, and you know he’s just as close as you are. A few more thrusts and you feel your walls contract around his size, your high washing over you as a broken moan falls from your lips. He fucks you right through it, when mere seconds later, he too comes undone, teeth sinking into the flesh on your shoulder as he spills inside you. 

You stay just like this, with his arms wrapped around you, and him still buried deep inside you as you both catch your breaths, coming down from your respective highs. The tip of his nose grazes your neck as he lets out a sleepy groan, and you reach for his hand that’s resting on your chest, bringing it up to your lips. Your mind clouded by the blissful aftermath of your orgasm and probably the whiskey too, you press a kiss to his palm, finding yourself mouthing the words you wouldn’t dare speak out loud.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Him holding you as close as he possibly can, he drifts off to sleep behind you while his grip loosens a bit, and feeling safe and sound in his embrace, soon enough you too find yourself slipping into dreamland.

You wake up the next morning, a blanket having been pulled over both your and Jongho’s bodies at some point during the night, and as you blink against the light falling into the room through the windows with the curtains still open, you spot his sleeping face right next to you. It’s not the first time you’ve awoken next to him, yet somehow it feels different than it used to now. The little pout on his puffy lips makes you smile, and while the sunlight slowly wakes up your mind, you wonder whether you should stay in bed like this for a while, or see if there’s anything to make breakfast out of in his fridge. You choose the latter eventually, quietly deciding to borrow a t-shirt of his to throw on, and after you’ve managed to find your underpants in the pile of clothes you had left behind in the bathroom, you make your way to the kitchen. Looking through the scarce ingredients that greet you there, you figure Jongho doesn’t cook for himself a whole lot, but some eggs and rice should be enough for a simple breakfast. 

Soon enough, he appears behind you in his kitchen, using the opportunity to sleepily hug you from behind as he peeks over your shoulder.

“What you making?” he asks, his voice not yet warmed up, and you shake him off with a giggle to move towards the stove, cracking two eggs into a pan.

“Just this with some rice,” you answer. “It’s not a very fancy breakfast but I thought it’s better than nothing.”

“Hmm,” he makes a noise in return. “We could’ve ordered something, you know?” 

“That’s what I was trying to avoid, dumbass,” you laugh.

“Hey!” he exclaims in offense, and you shoot him a cheeky grin.

“Go wash up, it’ll be ready in a few minutes. Oh, also,” you stop him from running off right away. “Coffee?”

“Sure,” he answers, opening a cupboard to get two mugs out of it, and he gets to brewing some on the expensive looking coffee machine on the counter.

“I could’ve made it too,” you say, heating up the rice in his microwave, but Jongho just shakes his head. 

You carry the minimalistic breakfast over to the dinner table, sitting down across from each other, and you eat in silence. You find there’s some irony behind you sitting in such a fancy apartment, owned by someone who has more than enough money, and then you’re having such a simple and cheap dish with him. When you’re both done eating and you reach for the dishes to collect them and carry them back to the kitchen, he beats you to it.

“You go brush your teeth first, I’ll take care of this,” Jongho mutters, shaking his head at your attempt to clean up. “There should be a spare toothbrush in the drawer under the sink.” And so you leave him to it, finishing your morning routine in the bathroom, and soon enough he joins you.

“So? How are you planning on spending the day?” you ask, both of you back in the living room, lounging on his sofa.

“I usually don’t do much on the weekends,” he says. “I’ll go work out later, and then probably just catch up on some more sleep.” 

“Makes sense,” you retort, and your eyes find the guitar you had already noticed yesterday. Pointing at it with your chin, you ask, “You play?”

“Ah, yeah. It’s been a while though.” He gets up to bring it over, tuning it with the help of some app on his phone, and as he’s getting ready to play, he clears his throat a few times. “I can show you a bit if you want… my voice isn’t warmed up though, so sorry if anything sounds off,” he explains, an embarrassed smile playing on his lips, and then he begins strumming a few chords. You listen in anticipation, and though you knew you liked his voice before, you find yourself taken aback when you actually hear him sing for the first time. He’s playing a song you haven’t heard before, a Korean ballad, so not exactly your go-to genre of music. But you have to say it suits him very well, and so you find yourself enjoying the music he’s playing for you, finding that the song ends much too soon.

“Wow…” You give him an applause, causing him to look away a bit awkwardly.

“I’m not that good,” he says, but you disagree.

“No, that was really good actually,” you say. “I didn’t know you could sing that well!” He hesitates for a while, before taking the compliment.

“Thank you…” As he puts the guitar aside, you wonder whether you should stop him and ask him to play something else, but he ends up being faster in starting to talk.

“You see, I don’t have much time for music these days.”

“That’s a shame…” you say, and he nods in agreement.

“Yeah… but you know how it is.” You sense a bitterness behind his words that hurts to witness, and you wonder if there’s anything you could say that would comfort him. “Things have been decided for me. And the decision wasn’t this.”

“You should’ve been able to choose for yourself.”

“Yeah. My brother got that privilege. Not me.”

“How come?”

“He got to pursue his dream. When he was in middle school my parents had a talk with him to ensure he could do what he wants. Meanwhile they told me that I’m the future of my dad’s company, and I need to study well and do what they want.”

“That’s… really unfair,” you say.

“I guess it’s the burden of the first born,” he reckons, but there’s no sincerity behind his words. Maybe it’s something he’s been telling himself to make things a bit more bearable.

“Still…” You reach out, wanting to comfort him, but you hesitate to put your hand into his. Instead, your palm somewhat awkwardly lands on his shoulder, and he turns his head to look you in the eye. His gaze lingers on your face, taking in your features one by one, and once he can tear himself away, he continues.

“You know, I get that my father doesn’t want to give up the family business. It’s taken him and his parents a long time to build it up and to make it as successful as it is now. But… some days I wish it had been different.”

“I know.”

“Having a choice… must be nice.” You gulp. You are the one who had a choice here. And for a second the fear that maybe he resents you for it takes a hold of you, and you try to push it down with all your might. “Ah…” Jongho sighs, looking up at the ceiling now as he reaches for the hand resting on his shoulder, his warm palm covering it. “I’m jealous of him. To be honest, I’m jealous of you too.” Your breath gets stuck in your throat, but when he turns to give you a look filled with warmth, you find yourself relaxing a bit.

“Who wouldn’t be?” you say.

“Right…” He wraps his hand around yours, peeling it off his shoulder and instead intertwining his fingers with yours. You draw closer, until your faces are mere inches apart. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s okay,” you answer, shaking your head ever so slightly, and you find him staring at your lips. “I got a little scared there. But I know you wouldn’t take it out on me.” He closes the distance between you, but instead of kissing you, he buries his head in your neck, and he lets go of your hand to pull you closer and into his lap by your hips instead. You don’t fight it, quite the opposite - you let your lips ghost over his nape, and once you’re comfortably settled on top of him, your mouth searches for his, melting against him in a slow and lazy kiss. You permit him to have his fingertips wandering your figure, soft touches received through the oversized shirt you’re wearing. He nibbles on your lower lip, drawing a breathy moan out of you, and in return you roll your hips against him, taking back control of the kiss in the blink of an eye. You separate eventually, breathless, and you don’t hesitate to move on to his neck, brushing your lips against his mole there. One hand finds the short hair at the back of his head to tug at, and you make him expose his neck to you, giving you access to wherever you want it. Teeth sunk into his skin and your tongue pressing against his pulse makes him push you closer into him with his hand placed on the small of your back, and when you start sucking a mark into his nape, he hums at the feeling. You take your time with it, nibbling on the skin until it begins to change color, and even though you’ve chosen a spot that’s hard to cover up, he doesn’t stop you. Instead, his heavy breaths and the way you can feel him growing against your core tell you he likes what you’re doing, and once you’re done you make sure to soothe the spot with a few gentle kisses. You sit up straight to take a look at your work and then at his face, half lidded eyes watching you attentively.

“Say…” you begin, putting a finger over his lips and then tracing a line down from his chin, over his adam’s apple and towards the base of his neck. “How about a different kind of workout for today?”

“What kind?” Jongho asks, his voice low, and you’re sure he knows exactly what you’re thinking of.

“Well…” you mumble, drawing near until you’re sure he can feel your hot breath on his face. “We’re both sober now, so…”

“I think I’m in trouble.” San stares at you from across the table of the fast food place where you decided to have an emergency meeting during your lunch break. You know you don’t have time to beat around the bush, as you will both have to be back at your work places in less than an hour, so you ended up simply blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

“What do you mean?” Concern is painted all over his face as he picks up his sandwich, stopping himself in the process of biting into it to respond to you.

“Uh…” That’s the only sound that makes it out of your mouth as your gaze drops from your friend’s face to the food on your tray.

“Y/N, did something happen…?”

“...I think I’m in love with him.” 

“Ahhh…” Now San is leaning back in his chair, a smug grin appearing on his lips. “I knew it.”

“Shut up.”

“I knew it!”

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Alright, alright.” Still grinning, he takes a big bite of his egg sandwich, and you do the same.

“I just… I’m scared,” you admit once you’ve swallowed the food in your mouth. “I know I’m repeating myself here, just…”

“I know,” San says. “You’re scared of getting hurt again.”

“Yeah… maybe,” you answer. “Actually, I don’t think… he would betray me like that. But… yeah, I guess the fear is still there somewhere.”

“That makes sense,” your friend responds. “But… it’s good to see you heal.” His words make you halt for a moment.

“Right… I suppose that does mean… I’m healing. But…” you let your gaze wander around the restaurant, “have I healed enough?”

“Only you know that.” You lower your head.

“I’m scared I’m not ready yet after all, and that I’ll end up hurting him…” you mutter.

“Y/N,” San says, reaching across the table to put his hand over yours, making you look him right in the eye. “I think you worry too much.” You sigh.

“I know that too…”

“And besides,” he continues, “how else are you going to heal wounds caused by a relationship other than in a relationship?”

“Right,” you find yourself agreeing, and at the same time you wonder if maybe there’s wounds you have helped Jongho heal. You’ve done a lot for him, you know that, so why wouldn’t it be possible that he’s also doing a lot for you?

“You know what I think?” San says.

“What?”

“You’re not gonna like this, but… as much as you’re trying to help that guy let go of his need to be in control… I think that’s something you too would benefit from practicing sometimes.” His words hit you like a speeding truck. You’ve actually never thought of it this way, but now that he’s laid this aspect of you bare, you can’t deny it’s always been there. For a while, you find yourself wondering since when you’ve been like that, and part of the answer is probably always. But you do remember moments where you let go of that control, where you quite willingly put it into somebody else’s hands actually. So where did all that go?

Oh. You hold your breath for a second. It was probably your ex who made you close yourself up to the possibility of letting someone else take care of you, take a bit of control away from you every once in a while. Because you couldn’t trust him.

“You’re right,” you retort dryly. “I didn’t like hearing that. But I think you’re right.” San shoots you a smile, his dimples showing.

“Then go tell him how you feel, and you can figure things out. You don’t have to rush into a relationship and, I don’t know, get married and move country right away,” he reminds you with a lighthearted tone. “You can take things as slow as you need them to be. Though I’m sure now I’m the one repeating himself.” He lures a chuckle out of you, as you manage to push the thoughts of your past relationship aside.

“Yeah… I wonder if I have the courage yet,” you respond. “Thanks for listening, anyway.”

“That’s what friends are for, don’t mention it.”

You stretch your back with your arms thrown above your head while you groan, and you don’t miss the amused gaze Jongho gives you for it.

“What?” you ask with a grin on your lips. “Sitting still for almost three hours is taking its toll on me!” And now he’s laughing at your words, and seeing the expression on his face makes your heart beat a little faster.

“I didn’t say anything,” he refutes, holding out his hand to take your empty popcorn bag from you. “I’ll be right back.” You see him walk over to the trash bins to throw it away for you, when the song played in the lobby of the cinema you came to watch a movie you’ve both been dying to see catches your attention. 

If the world was ending, I’d wanna be next to you - you hum along to the melody, and when Jongho is back by your side, you point towards the general direction of where the nearest speaker must be. 

“I really like this song,” you comment, and he listens for a short while before his face lights up and he recognizes it.

“Oh, me too actually,” he says. “I tried playing it a few days ago, but I think I already forgot half the chords again.” You make your way out of the building, and when he’s getting ready to say goodbye, you speak up before he can.

“Your place is close to here, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then how about we go together and I drop you off. You didn’t come here by car, did you?”

“Ah, no. I walked,” he says. “I thought some exercise would do me good after today. Though it’s only like ten minutes.”

“Then let’s go!” 

You chat some more about the movie and the actors on the way, and somehow you both end up coming to the conclusion that it didn’t quite meet your expectations.

“The actress who played the female lead did a really good job though,” Jongho throws in, and you agree.

“Right, I’ve only seen her in dramas so far, and I liked her acting better here,” you say. “Are you a fan of her?”

“A bit, yeah,” he admits, and the urge to tease him about suddenly getting shy is overwhelming.

“So you like her, huh? You think she’s pretty?”

“Well.. yes,” he says, and you chuckle. 

“So she’s your type?”

“I don’t know, actually,” he says as you arrive in front of the apartment complex where he lives, and he fishes the keys out of his pocket. “I maybe wouldn’t go that far.”

“I see.”

“Then…”

“Yeah…” You both hesitate, and as he opens his mouth to say goodbye, you cut him off. “Actually, can I come in for a few minutes?”

“Sure,” he says. “You can stay for longer than that too.” He lets the both of you inside and you take the elevator to his floor. Having arrived in his flat, you both slip out of your shoes and leave them by the door before stepping inside. You know what you came here to say, yet somehow now that you’re supposed to start the conversation, nothing will come out of your mouth. Torn in your mind, you fidget with the sleeves of your shirt, and when you hear Jongho’s voice you snap out of it.

“Did you want to talk about something?” he asks knowingly, and you nod. “Then let’s sit down first of all.”

“I… haven’t been seeing other partners for a while, actually,” you blurt out before he can start walking over to his sofa, and he raises his eyebrows at you, seeming a little perplexed. 

“That’s… great I guess?” he answers, before correcting himself, “I mean… is it?” 

“I-” The words threaten to get stuck in your throat again, but you take in a deep breath and before the doubts in your mind can set in again, you say, “I’m falling in love with you… is what I’m trying to say.” And now the expression on Jongho’s face changes to genuine surprise, before you find a slowly growing smile appearing on his lips. “But… it still scares me,” you add, and wordlessly the man in front of you takes you by the hands, leading you over to the sofa and sitting down with you. He too seems to need a few moments to find the right words, as you see him looking around the room before he finally speaks up.

“I still… feel the same about you,” he starts, his gaze directed at you now. “I’m in love with you too. And I get that it’s still hard for you. So, we don’t have to go anywhere you’re not ready for.”

“I just… I know you won’t hurt me on purpose… but a part of me…” You struggle to keep going. You don’t want to project your past relationship onto Jongho, and yet you just cannot get that voice at the back of your head that’s constantly screaming danger to shut up.

“I know.” He gives your hands a light squeeze, and the gesture tears you out of your endless worries and brings you back to reality. To him. “And it’s not like my past relationship isn’t still haunting me either, to be quite honest.” Considering how long it’s been for him, you’re a little surprised. “But I think… maybe… we can just keep going at the pace we had so far. And see where it takes us.”

“You’re probably right…” you find yourself agreeing with him. You want anything but to rush into another relationship, because you know you still need time more than anything. But thinking about it now, you’ve actually been going at just the right pace all this time. “No, you’re right,” you repeat, and he shows you a reassuring smile. Hope grows in your chest that maybe, just maybe this might just work out for the two of you. No - that hope has been there for a long time, you’ve just never had the courage to admit it up until now.

“Oh,” he then exclaims, getting up. “Wait.”

“For what?” you ask, but you don’t receive an answer. So you simply watch as he turns on his radio, and then he searches for something on his phone, before you hear a song starting to play, and within the first few beats you recognize it as the song you’ve pointed out to him back at the cinema. Jongho puts his phone on top of one of the half empty shelves and then approaches you, holding a hand out to you.

“Do you like dancing?”

“Dancing?” The horror on your face must be apparent, because he briefly laughs at your reaction when he comes to a halt right in front of you and you hesitantly get up. “I… don’t know how to dance…” you admit, and he grabs you by your hands, pulling you aside to where there’s more space.

“It’s okay,” he mutters, placing his palm onto the small of your back and waiting for you to hold onto him. “I’ll lead you.” He begins moving along to the music, leaving you no choice but to follow as his grip on you remains steady. Your steps feel heavy, and you’re clumsily following along wherever he decides to sway next, but soon enough you recognize a pattern behind his movements, and you find yourself feeling a bit more comfortable in his hold.

“You’re doing well,” he says, and you crack a smile. This is probably the first time you’ve heard those words from him and not vice versa, and for some strange reason pride swells in your chest. You find yourself humming along to the singers on the track as you let go of the fear of embarrassing yourself or stumbling over your own feet, and you find him mouthing a few of the lyrics as well.

I don't even wanna do this anymore Cause you already know what you mean to me And our love's the only war worth fighting for.

You sway from side to side, the distance between your bodies closing almost naturally, until you have your head leaning against his chest, allowing him to just hold you close as you move in tune with the song’s rhythm. You close your eyes, and in that moment it dawns on you that you trust him to show you the right direction, to hold onto you so you won’t fall, no matter what. 

Wherever you go, that's where I'll follow Nobody's promised tomorrow So I'ma love you every night like it's the last night.

“You know,” he breathes into your ear.

“Hm?”

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now… Thanks for becoming someone I can rely on.” His sudden confession makes you smile, and at this point you feel like your body is moving along with his by itself, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Mhm,” you hum. “The same goes for me.” Warmth spreads all throughout you - a kind of warmth you haven’t felt in a while. You realize in that moment that you two have become a pretty good team in more ways than one. Emotionally, you’ve come to understand each other, being able to tell what the other might need from the slightest signs. And physically too, you’re not the only one who’s learned how to read him, how to handle him. He too has learnt how to see right through you, like coming together with you to form a perfect synergy, time and time again.

“Sit down for me,” you say, kneeling in front of him on top of your bed, a piece of cloth in your hands, and you give him a smile filled with both excitement and the need to take care of him. Jongho obeys, peeking up at you expectantly, and you cup his chin in your hand. “Good boy,” you praise him, and you see the way his eyes sparkle at your words. Then you bring the blindfold up to his face, covering his eyes with it.

“You feeling alright?” you ask once you finish tying the ends of the silky fabric together behind his head, and Jongho slowly nods. You have him straddled on top of your bed, sitting comfortably in his lap when you reach for the bowl of ice cubes you had prepared and you pop one of them into your mouth, letting it melt on your tongue for a little bit before you chew on it a few times and you swallow. Your now ice cold lips meet his, and as he gasps at the cool sensation, you slip your tongue inside. With your arms loosely wrapped around his broad shoulders, you share a slow but deep kiss with him as your lips gradually take on a warmer temperature again.

“Wanna be good for me and lie down?” you breathe, giving him a gentle push to his sternum, and he does as told. Then you reach for another ice cube, and holding it between your lips, you lean in. He sucks in a sharp breath as the cold material comes in touch with his skin, and it leaves a thin layer of melted water as you drag it along his collarbone and down his chest. His hands searching for something to hold on to, he finds your hips, but as per usual, you don’t permit him to touch you. Instead, you take a hold of his wrists, placing them to each side of his head, and letting go of the ice cube for a moment, you speak quietly but with an emphasis,

“Stay like this.” You watch as his lips part, though he doesn’t give you an answer. Instead, he merely holds the position you’ve put him in, even when you can see his hands forming fists as soon as you continue to move the ice along the lines on his torso. You let your warm palm glide up the same way you had dragged the ice down his body, and he gasps softly at the sudden temperature change. “‘S that feel good, pretty boy?” You run your nails back down over his well trained chest and the delicate skin on his stomach, and he flinches underneath you.

“Mhm,” he hums in response as the ice cube continues to melt against his skin. You lick up the water around it, flat tongue warming up the area, and you quietly reach for a new one from the bowl on your bedside table. Nipping on his skin while his chest gently rises and sinks beneath you, your lips wander to the left, and when you brush them against his nipple, he lets you hear a tiny whine. 

“You like that?” you ask, your voice sultry.

“Yeah,” Jongho breathes.

“And what about this?” You put the ice into your mouth, using it to draw circles around the sensitive bud, and immediately his chest rises as he sharply sucks in a breath of air. You use the tip of your tongue to soothe his skin, but when you begin to lap at his hard nipple, the heat of your mouth mixing with the chilling sensation of the ice, a moan falls from his lips. Your hand finds the other side of his chest, and with one thigh placed between his legs, you press up against his core, feeling him starting to get hard.

“Getting horny for me, huh?” you tease him. “And so pliant today.” Your partner can’t but whine at your words, as you move your thigh against his length for some friction. You pick up the remainder of the ice cube and move back up to his mouth to kiss him, parting his lips so you could let the ice melt between your tongues as you kiss him breathless. “Such a good boy,” you mutter into his mouth, and when you reach down between your bodies to wrap your hand around his cock, he throws his head back, teeth clenched. You hum at all the reactions you seem to be drawing out of him so much more easily today, and with your face buried in his neck to nibble on the skin there, you start slowly jerking him off. Jongho lets you hear a breathy moan when you sink your teeth into his skin with the intention of marking him as yours, and he writhes underneath you when your fist reaches his tip.

“Sensitive today, aren’t we?” you tease him a bit further, and his ears take on a bright shade of red as heat rushes to his face. “You’re so cute like this.” He whines in protest and all you can do is chuckle in return when you move further south, leaving a trail of kisses down his chest, and a few bites here and there too. A pained sigh falls from his lips when you let go of his fully erect length, sitting up on top of him now and gently running your nails down his upper body. “You don’t like it when I call you that?” He doesn’t say anything, but the pout that appears on his plush lips tells you all you need to know. “You can tell me, beautiful,” you mutter, reaching for one of his hands and placing a lingering kiss to his palm. “Or did I already make you forget how to speak?”

“No…” he says. “Don’t like it…” You find his other hand as well, and you pin both his wrists to the bed right above his head with one hand.

“Well I can’t help it,” you coo over him, and for a second there you have to recollect yourself upon taking in the image unfolding underneath you. “You’ll need to be a little less cute then.” And again, he whines in defeat, and you roll your hips on top of him once, your core grazing his hard on and it makes him shiver. “Shit, I didn’t think taking one of your senses away would make you this much more sensitive…” He throws his head to the side, mayhaps in an attempt to escape your looks, but he must know just as well as you do that he can’t hide. “Don’t,” you whisper, capturing his chin between your thumb and index finger of your free hand, and you place a kiss to the corner of his mouth before running your fingertips across his lips. He parts them ever so slightly, and you push your thumb inside eventually, leading him to gently bite down before you find the tip of his tongue. Hot saliva coating your thumb, you praise him to make him continue sucking on it. “I wanna watch you…” you mutter, almost mesmerized by how well he complies, a blush dusted onto his cheeks. “Wanna see everything.” You pull out your thumb and you bring your hand down to wrap it around his cock, distributing his spit along his length and spreading it on his tip. He arches his back underneath you, seemingly desperate for your touch, and maybe if he could see the wicked smile on your lips he wouldn’t get so into it already. However, like this you just can’t help but take advantage of his need, and so you gradually pick up speed, stroking him closer and closer towards his high.

“Doing so well for me today,” you grant him some more words of praise, and you enjoy seeing how his face distorts underneath the blindfold when you add, “And so needy…” He groans as you bring him nearer to the edge, his hips bucking up into your hand, but you immediately shift your weight to hold him down. “Don’t get greedy, pretty boy,” you warn him, and by the broken moan he lets out you can tell he’s about to come undone.

“Not yet,” you mutter when you take your hand away, and as soon as Jongho understands what’s happening, he sucks in a sharp breath. 

“Shit…” he curses through gritted teeth, and you chuckle at him, cupping his cheek in your palm.

“You really thought I’d let you cum? Just like that?” you mock him in a tone so sweet it must hurt. “Shouldn’t you know better by now?” He moves his head away from your touch, anger reflecting on his face, and it intrigues you. “What? You really are getting greedy.” Pouring some salt into the wound, you wonder how he would react. You know for a fact that if you had done this same exact thing to him a few weeks ago, he would’ve immediately tried to fight back, to turn the tables around on you. Or maybe he would’ve called out the safe word, unable to stomach all the frustration coursing through his body from how you’re treating him so unfairly - according to him anyway.

But nothing. He merely lies there, his jaw clenched, not starting a single attempt to free his hands from your hold. And it takes him a few moments, but eventually you can feel him relax underneath you, and an overwhelming wave of heat rushes straight to your core as you can hear him speak a single word very quietly.

“Please.” For just a second you want to give him everything, and so you reach for his cock, and when you start pleasuring him, he throws his head back, letting out an almost angelic sound as he moans at your touch.

“That’s right…” you breathe. “Such a good boy…” And he seems to get the hint, because as soon as the praise reaches his ears, he begs some more.

“Please… please let me cum…” 

“More, baby boy. Let me hear more…”

“P-please… want it so bad…” You feel him twitching in your hand and he whines at the way you’re moving your fist along his size, a drop of precum forming on his tip and you collect it on your fingers to coat his length with it. “P-please… please…!” The words keep falling from his lips while his body tenses up, and just when you think he must be almost there, you stop again, earning another strained noise from him. He says nothing as you let him catch his breath for a while, waiting until he’s come down from his almost-high, and again you find yourself affected by how he isn’t complaining at all.

“Gonna make you feel so good,” you promise. “Just trust me.” Jongho nods. He does trust you. And so, with a swelling feeling of pride warming your chest, you begin jerking him off again. “Doing so well for me, baby,” you say. “Gonna make you cum so good.” You lean in, your nose grazing the skin on his neck as you scatter little kisses all over, and eventually you wander down to his shoulder. You can feel him writhe in pleasure underneath you, and the stronger he reacts, the faster you move your hand along his cock. “Cum for me, pretty boy,” you mutter, before sinking your teeth into his flesh, and not long after he cries out from the sharp pain, he comes undone with a sweet moan, spilling into your hand and all over his stomach.

You let go of his hands and you reach for the wet towel beside your bed to wipe him clean, enjoying the few whines you draw out of him when touching an area that’s still too sensitive. Then you rub your hands along his thighs in a soothing motion, watching him catch his breath.

“Such a good boy…” you mutter, and you see him gulp at the praise. “You know what I think?” 

“Hm?”

“I’d really like to tie you up a bit… how’s that sound?” He nods at your suggestion. “Then sit up.” You get a piece of rope before you position yourself behind him. “Give me your hands.” Jongho does as told, and you place them so his elbows are angled at about 90 degrees, and his forearms are parallel to each other. You put some rope around them, checking if the position feels comfortable to him, and as soon as he gives you the okay, you get to work. It’s almost meditative, tying one knot after the other, watching as a pretty pattern forms along his arms, and he too seems to enjoy the sensations it’s giving him, because it’s apparent how the tension leaves his shoulders bit by bit.

“That should work,” you say when you’re done, and you run your palms up his shoulder blades, all the way to his neck, wrapping your fingers around it. He reacts immediately by leaning his head back, exposing his throat to you, and you go in for a few feathery light kisses against his pulse. “How are you feeling?” Your fingertips wander down his front, grazing his chest and then moving to his sides, following the lines to his hips before you rub your palm along his thighs. You feel the urge to bend him over right then and there, maybe give him a few spanks, but you remember he’s told you before he’s bad with pain - most kinds anyway, so instead you bring your hands back up, and you take them away as you move to his front, and you comb your digits through his brown locks while he says,

“I’m good.” 

“There’s so much I want to do to you…” you whisper, watching him biting his lower lip in anticipation, and with one look down his body you find him in the process of getting hard again. You huff at the sight. “Already recovering, huh? Well, I think if you want me to touch you some more you should first earn it, don’t you agree?” Jongho nods, waiting patiently for you to tell him what you want. “Lie down.” Your command is short, and he follows it immediately, lying flat on his back with his arms underneath. “That’s right,” you praise as you crawl on top of him, placing yourself right above his face with your thighs to each side of it. “Show me how much you want it, baby boy.” His mouth falls open as soon as you lower yourself onto his face, lips grazing your folds and his hot breath makes you shiver. You hold on to the bed frame with one hand, and you suck in a breath when you feel the tip of his tongue starting to carefully map out your pussy. And it doesn’t take long for it to become apparent that just as much as you got to know him pretty well over the past few months, he too knows a thing or two about how to push all the right buttons for you. Because even just the way he starts out with light, teasing touches, humming at your taste while he licks up your juices makes your head spin. 

“Doing so well for me…” you mewl, and he draws another moan out of you when the tip of his nose bumps against your clit.

“Y/N…” he slurs your name with his mouth buried in your cunt, and you clench around nothing in response. He takes his time outlining your folds with the tip of his tongue, always returning to your sensitive bud in the end. And when his wet muscle travels back down, he lets the tip of his nose rub against it instead. Slowly but steadily he makes you crave more, and in between soft moans and deep breaths, you order,

“More. Want you inside.” And he doesn’t keep you waiting, his tongue darting up into your dripping cunt and when he moans at your taste the vibrations he sends up your core have you mewling some more. “Shit, like that…” you praise, reaching into his hair and pulling on the strands while he begins thrusting his tongue in and out of you. You rock your hips on top of him, grinding down onto his face, and he whines at the way you tear at his locks somewhat ungently while searching for just the right angle. His moans mingling with yours in the air, you feel your heartbeat quicken as you fuck yourself on his face, and when the tip of his tongue hits that perfect spot deep inside of you, you say,

“Right there… don’t stop.” Hungrily lapping up your juices, he’s keeping a steady pace, and even though he can probably barely breathe at this point he lets you use him to get off. “Just a little… longer… shit, you’re doing so well for me…” Praise after praise falls from your lips, and with only a few more strokes of his tongue, you feel yourself clenching around it as your orgasm hits you. “Fuck, Jongho…” you mewl through gritted teeth as your entire body shakes on top of him, and he fucks you right through your high, until he can feel you starting to come down from it. 

“Did so well…” you whisper a praise as you crawl off his face to give him some space to breathe. A groan escapes him as soon as his nose and mouth are unobstructed, and you notice the way the lower half of his face is all covered in your slick. “Such a good boy for me…” you add as you lean in, licking your juices off him and then eventually kissing him, tasting yourself in his mouth as you dominate the kiss. “I’ll be right back,” you assure him, running your fingers through his disheveled hair once, before you lift yourself up off the bed to put on the harness and the strap on you had prepared. 

“You think you’re ready for your reward now, pretty boy?” you ask him on the way back, and he nods vigorously, letting out a noise in agreement. You chuckle at the image, and you order, “On your knees then.” He takes on the position you asked for - still managing to look good in the process, despite his hands being tied behind his back not being of much use, but you can tell the scene so far has exhausted him. You sit right in front of him, his cock rock hard and waiting to be touched, and when your fingers ghost over the tip he flinches.

“Guess what I got for you,” you whisper, leaning in close to his ear, and you brush your lips against his neck, grazing the mole there when he leans back his head to give you access. You take the invitation, sinking your teeth into his skin gently, before pulling back.

“What…?” he slurs.

“Guess,” you say again, but when his lips part and he doesn’t respond, you decide to give him a hint. “Something you liked a looooot last time.” He gulps, and you’re sure he understands. “Say it, pretty boy,” you mutter as you give his cock another light touch, and he immediately sucks in a sharp breath of air. “Or you won’t get to cum again.” Jongho whines in response - it must feel unfair to him that you’re making him wait for it so long. But at this point you know that with a few praises scattered in between all the teasing and edging and making him work for it, he’ll regain some patience, and you can keep playing with him a little longer.

“S-strap…” he guesses correctly, yet very quietly.

“What was that?” you ask him to repeat himself, and you wrap your fingers around the base of his length.

“Strap on,” he repeats, ears burning red, and you move your hand up and down his size slowly as a reward.

“That’s right,” you say. “Are you embarrassed?”

“A little,” he admits, and it makes you grin.

“A little?” you coo, as you jerk him off way too slowly. And yet his body tenses up under your touch, and he whines each time you graze his sensitive tip. “Don’t cum,” you warn him. “If you do, no strap for my baby boy.” He whines again, very clearly in distress, because all of the pleasure that has built up deep in his stomach is gradually getting too much to handle, and you see his thighs beginning to tremble. “You’re embarrassed… but my cock inside of you makes you feel so good.”

“Ah-!” Another whine falls from his lips, his hips charging forward as he ruts into your hand without control, but he manages to stop himself when you hiss,

“What did I say? No cumming until I allow it.” 

“Y-yes…” Seeing his gritted teeth it’s obvious how much willpower it takes him to hold back as his whole body begins to shake, and you reckon with the blindfold on it’s only harder to resist the overwhelming pleasure. But you don’t stop touching him, you don’t stop stroking his twitching cock, even when he begins stringing together all the curse words he knows and then some more.

“Fuck… shit… I’m-...” With a pathetic noise, he spills into your hand, and when he goes down, bowing before you to apologize, he doesn’t stop shaking all over. “I’m sorry… ‘m so sorry…” You remove your hand, watching as the man in front of you crumbles into nothing more than a tiny picture of misery, and when you see the wet stains forming on the fabric of the blindfold, you bring your hand that’s still coated in his seed to his mouth.

“Shh,” you coo. “Open up, beautiful.” And he does, he opens wide for you to put your fingers in his mouth, and without you needing to say anything else, he knows what to do. His tongue snaking around them, he cleans his cum off your hand thoroughly, not leaving a single millimeter of your skin stained when you pull out again. Instead, your hand is now coated in his saliva, and so you tell him to turn around.

“Bend over for me,” you order, and using the spit on your fingers as a substitute for lube, you start teasing his hole. And as soon as you come in contact with his ass, a heavenly moan slips past his lips. “That’s right, relax. Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you for cumming.”

“Mhm…”

“However… I think you do deserve a little bit of a punishment,” you continue, slipping one finger inside him. With the other hand, you reach around his body, and with a firm grip, you find his limp dick. His breath hitches immediately, and you chuckle at his reaction. “Too sensitive, are we?”

“Y-yeah…” he admits with a trembling voice.

“Should’ve listened to me then, hm?” You’re fully aware that he couldn’t have possibly held out any longer - truth be told, it was your goal to make him cum unallowed, just so you could punish him for it in the aftermath. “What’s your color, baby boy?”

“...green…” he whines desperately, and his entire body jolts as you stroke him, while you gradually prep his hole for what’s to come. Some actual lube serves to assist you, and when you find his sweet spot with two fingers buried inside of him, there’s nothing more than a whining, squirming mess left underneath you.

“Sh-shit… f-feels so… g-good…” he stutters, slurring his words as his mind must be filled with nothing but the overwhelming mixture of pleasure and pain from the way you’re overstimulating him. 

“You feel good?” you repeat, your voice gentle, and the more you feel him growing again in your hand, the more desperate his whines and whimpers become.

“Mmm… myeah… so good…” You add a third finger, wondering how quickly you’ll have him reaching his next high, and for how much longer he could go after that, but with the state you’ve put him in so far, there’s really only one thing left you desperately want to do.

“I’ll wreck you so good, my pretty boy,” you breathe at the shaking mess that he is. “So, so good.” When you feel he’s ready for the toy strapped to your hips, you finally pull out and you grant him a few seconds to catch his breath - though you’re sure at this point even hours wouldn’t be enough for him to regain his senses - and as you push up into him from behind, he cries out. His desperate noises alone could make you cum again, and as that thought crosses your mind, you reach over for a pillow, placing it underneath his lower stomach so his cock would graze it with every single time you thrust in and out of him. And it makes him moan even when you’re still going slow to make sure you don’t hurt him in the beginning, and when you pick up your pace you catch a glimpse of some drool dripping down his chin and you know he’s really gone too far now. Still, with each of your movements a noise more desperate than the one before escapes him, and when you go harder it doesn’t take long for him to come undone one more time. His moan upon being fucked right to his next high gets stuck in his throat this time, and as tears start streaming down his face, you reach into his hair, tugging at the strands and then pressing him down face first into the blanket.

“Is that all you can take?” you ask mockingly. “So strong, and already down, huh?” Tearing at the dark brown locks, he lets you hear a pathetic noise when his face is lifted up from the soft fabric for a moment. You wait for a response, but no words leave his parted lips. “What? Too fucked out to talk now?”

“Mhmm…” A whimper is all he can give to tell you yes, and the surge of power flowing through you immediately after has you beginning to thrust again. “Ah…!” he hiccups, crying from all the sensations overwhelming his senses, and one more time you halt and say,

“Give me your color.” 

“...g-green…!” You can tell how much it took out of him to speak that one word, but the fact that he did, even when he’s this wrecked, even while he’s crying, only makes you feel even prouder of him, and simultaneously serves as your sign to destroy him some more. So, one more time, you begin to fuck into him, pressing him down into the mattress with him writhing in the pain and the pleasure underneath you, sobbing and whining and crying out.

“Shit… you’re so perfect… so perfect for me…” With the strap grazing your clit at just the right angle with each time your hips snap against his, your own greed to cum again mixes with all the other emotions the image unfolding right before your eyes causes, and you pick up the pace relentlessly. “Taking me so well… fuck… my perfect boy…” 

“A-ah…!” He cries out one more time before his body convulses, and he cums all over the pillow once more. Just a few more thrusts, and you too feel yourself tumbling over the edge, and finally, you slow down and come to a stop. 

“Did so well… come here…” you breathe after pulling out of him and letting him collapse on his stomach right then and there. You lay down behind him, loosening the blindfold to reveal a pair of reddened eyes, and you wrap an arm around his broad figure. With your thumb, you wipe the tear stains off his face, and you scatter a line of kisses from below his ear to his neck and all the way down his upper back as far as you can reach. “You feeling okay?” Jongho nods, albeit seeming very tired.

“Then I’m glad… wouldn’t want to hurt my amazing boy…” With the last remainder of strength left in his body, he turns around so he could face you, and you immediately pull him close to let him rest his head atop your chest. “I’m so proud of you,” you continue to shower him in praises, and then you add some more when you notice the weak smile creeping onto his lips. “You did amazing.”

“You too…” he eventually mumbles, and with one arm loosely placed around your upper body, he draws a few circles onto your side with his thumb. Combing your fingers through his hair and feeling him lean into your touch, you feel your heart swell at the sight.

“I love you.” You whisper the words so quietly, you think he wouldn’t have caught them, but then he places a lingering kiss onto your chest, and he breathes,

“I love you too.” And for a second you can feel all the fears and the anxieties creeping back up to you. However, when he opens his tired eyes and he glances up at you with the most fucked out and at the same time love drunk expression you’ve seen, the doubts wash away. 

Right, maybe you did find each other at just the right time, so you both could heal some of the scars in each other’s hearts. And maybe this time, you’ve both found someone who’s right for you.

“That’s a good boy!” you cheer as you pet your last client for the day on his sides. The bulldog wags his butt upon hearing your praise, panting in expectation over the treat he knows you’re hiding in your back pocket. You reach around for the piece of jerky all dogs get after their physiotherapy session is over, and you laugh as he greedily lunges towards it.

“Uh-uh,” you shake your head and lift your index finger in front of the dog’s face. “Sit. That’s a good boy.” The dog listens to the command obediently, and this time when you carefully hold out the treat for him, he takes it from you more gently. Well, a little more gently anyway. Smiling, you shake your head at the energetic pup, and then you get up off the floor and walk towards the door to let the owner inside.

“Thank you,” the young man tells you, before joyfully greeting his pet, his voice rising a few octaves and you find the image endearing. It always makes you the happiest to see how not only the animals, but also their owners seem to feel better after a session, having granted both of them relief from two different kinds of pain. You watch them walk out of the clinic together with a content smile on your face, before dedicating yourself to the last task of today’s shift: cleaning up. It takes you about half an hour to set up your office for a fresh start on Monday, and on your way out you greet your colleagues who are still standing by the reception counter chatting.

“See you next week!”

“Have a nice weekend!”

“You too!” You step outside into the warm air of late spring, and you take in a deep breath and close your eyes. You chose this profession because you knew you could thrive doing a job like this, continuously seeing payback for your efforts, and yet a full work week doesn’t leave you unfazed. Of course not, no matter how much someone likes their job, they’re bound to get exhausted from it from time to time - or that’s what your observations say.

“Y/N, hey.” You open your eyes to see Jongho standing in front of you, a smile full of adoration plastered onto his face, and you can’t help but return that same expression to him.

“Hey,” you greet him, hands in the pockets of the thin jacket you had thrown on in the morning, when it was still a bit colder. You notice you’re feeling a little too warm with layered clothing now, wondering if you should take off the jacket after all. “How was your day?”

“Ah, you know,” he looks to the side. “The usual.”

“Better if I don’t ask?”

“Better if you don’t ask, yeah,” he retorts, and there’s a hint of tiredness behind his smile. Jongho holds out his hand for you to take, and you don’t hesitate. “Let’s go?”

“Let’s. I’ve been starving,” you answer, and you intertwine your fingers with his as you begin to walk down the street.

“What about you? How was your day?”

“Good,” you say. “The grumpy chihuahua I told you about last time almost bit me again. But other than that it was good,” you chuckle, and instinctively Jongho lifts up your hand that he’s holding to check for any nicks or scratches. 

“You sure you didn’t get bitten?” he asks upon finding a bandaid on your other hand.

“Ah, that,” you exclaim as you arrive where he parked his car, and he opens the door for you to get in. “That’s from two days ago, actually.” He sits in the driver’s seat, and as soon as he’s shut the door on his side, he turns towards you, gesturing for you to give him your hand.

“It’s fine, really,” you assure, though you hold out the wounded hand to him anyway. “An angry cat scratched me, I’m used to-” Jongho lifts your hand up to his mouth, pressing a soothing kiss to the bandaid, and his eyes flutter shut while his soft lips linger. “Thanks,” you say eventually, watching him pull back and shooting you a serious look. He reaches out to cup your cheek in his palm, thumb brushing against the skin on your face.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He says it with such gravity that it almost seems a little over the top for the situation - it is just a tiny scratch after all, and it’ll be all healed up in a week or so. And still, you know there’s so much more behind his words than just worry over your hand. 

And so you do the only thing you can think of in that moment, and you shoot him a sincere smile, saying, “I know. Thank you for looking out for me.” Wordlessly, he returns your expression, before letting go of you and instead putting on his seatbelt and bringing his hand up to the steering wheel. “So?” you switch topic. “Where are you taking me today?”

“Surprise,” Jongho says, starting the engine. “But I packed you some clothes in the backseat that I think would be fitting for the occasion.” He points to the back and you reach behind you to try to get a glimpse of the contents of the bag. You find a pair of dress pants, making you assume he’s planning on taking you somewhere expensive, and upon digging some more, you find yourself holding onto an embroidered sleeve in antique pink. You stop your rummaging, and before you know it, you’re grinning from ear to ear like an idiot as memories of the first time he took you out on a date come back to you. 

“Thanks for bringing them,” you say, sitting up straight, and you glance over to him, who’s focused on driving out of his parking space.

“Of course,” he answers, before he enters the road towards your destination. “I think you’ll have to get changed in the car though.”

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it,” you brush it off, staring out of the window as the lights of the bustling city pass you by. Right. You two sure have come a long way.

Taglist:

@aaa-sia @wooyoungisbaby @winklehwa @asianpenguin04

@certifiedmoa @bunnyluvr25

ღ click here to be added ღ

lyrics appearing in the story are from “Die With A Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars

[the-artist-grimm]

Brainworm won't leave me, about angst of your Narilamb but on the other side of the coin.

So Imma just write about it even if I should be sleeping right now. Do what you wish.

Fate is irreversible. The Lamb would die a sacrifice, even the God of Death couldn't prevent it. Sure they had delayed it; allowed the Lamb to show the Bishop of Old that their fate was already written. But with it done, there's nothing stopping fate to strike once more.

The Lamb could feel it in the air, in the bones. Perhaps the crown had allowed them to feel the presence of an end. And theirs was soon to arrive.

Perhaps Narinder still had hope, that their weapon could return after their sacrifice. That the Lamb could be kept by his side and that of his kits. Yet the Lamb knew better than to rely on only hope.

The Lamb's heart was full, of love for who is now considered family to them. For Narinder, Aym and Baal. And for them, The Lamb would do it. Sacrificing their life for their freedom. For the kits to finally see the world the Lamb has told them so much about. For Narinder to feel the rain against their fur once more.

With a resolve of steel, the Lamb is ready, in an outfit they've carefully curated for their last moment. Perhaps it is full of old memories; inspired by any remaining traditions of the sheepfolk who will soon vanish with the Lamb. Maybe something akin to marriage; as they have accepted that they would never see the day of their own and that the freedom of their loves should be the happiest day of their life.

With a sad smile, the Lamb dedicate their death to the three person who fills their heart with love. Ripping it from their chest and crushing it; letting the large amount of devotion they had for their God, and the Red Crown, float back to its rightful owner. The Lamb swore they heard the screams of Aym and Baal, calling for the first time their Baba. They could feel a pang tug and their heart, even if no longer in their chest; never knowing before how much they longed for the both of them to see the Lamb like a parent.

Their weapon discarded, both kits rushed to the Lamb's side, begging, pleading for them to not leave; grasping at the Lamb's ever colder body.

Maybe in a moment of clarity, The One Who Waits sheds their gargantuan form for that of a more reasonable one. They are silent, whirlwind of thoughts and emotions flying through their head yet they chose to ignore most; going straight for the Lamb. Tears already flowing unbeknownst to him. Maybe they were the Crown's.

It's kinda funny, the Lamb never thought they would had been able to hold Narinder in their arms fully; yet even in this form he is as beautiful as the day they first met him. The Lamb smile softly at him, barely hearing him talk about promises to bring them back, cursing himself for his greed and his stubbornness, that he shouldn't had ignored his feelings when really the only thing he now desired was fading infront of him.

Maybe, just maybe, the Lamb can reach for a goodbye kiss. Not the one they had dreamed of, but it was their last chance before vanishing into the same ashes that covers the entirety of Narinder's realm; leaving now three black cat free, yet so cold and alone.

THIS IS AMAZING WHAT THE HECK. ALSO HOW ARE YOU IN MY HEAD (adding the angst art first in case people don't wanna read my lore dump lol)

Like Anthea WOULD have died had Narinder not let slip just how much he cared about them. He didn’t confess his love-he wasn't ready to do so just yet, but upon seeing the lamb break down in the ruins of their home village shortly before they'd started on Silk Cradle, seeing them finally let all the years of grief and anger and guilt take over and swear that no matter what they’d get him and the kits out-that while they couldn’t save their family they would save his even if that meant their death, in the ‘good’ ending sort of speak (which yeah has the betrayal but it leads both to grow and eventually be happy again), he tells them no-that freedom isn’t worth it without the lamb leaving the gateway alongside the twins and himself. He would not accept any outcome that didn't have them by his side.

Having spent their whole life giving up things for others, Narinder essentially saying he’d give up his freedom, the thing he wanted most, for them was what made the lamb want to try and have a future. Because here was someone who wanted Anthea by his side because he cared for them, and they realized they wanted that too. It's why in the good end Anthea starts weaving a courtship sash for Narinder, because while they didn't bet on his feelings being romantic, that admission was what made them realize they'd long fallen in love, and it was the one thing they could do to show just how much those words meant to them. A promise in return to be by his side as well in whatever way he'd have them. A promise to live.

Had Narinder held his tongue and not given into the impulse to say ‘no’, or had he instead told the lamb that their fate was to die, then Anthea would have laid their life down one last time. They might've realized they'd fallen in love sometime before that, but the desire to see their beloved and their children free would've outweigh the desire to be 'selfish' and want to be free with them.

5 chains bound the god they’d grown to love, and though 4 were linked to his siblings the 5th metaphysical one could only be unlocked by the sacrifice of a devout heart. It had been Shamura’s final failsafe. They knew that Narinder may be able to kill the bishops in his rage, but had counted on him never finding someone willing to sacrifice themselves like that.

But the main theme of Crimson Angel is expressing your feelings, and in the bad end, neither Anthea or Narinder learn to do so. Narinder keeps his love close to his chest, while Anthea loves the one way they know how-through sacrifice.

So yeah thank you for the fic and I shall now add it to the little metaphorical trinket box of ‘fanart/gifts to look at in awe'

[heartsforseo]

Straw hats x cat! reader

Summary: You were just playing around in your room and one of your spells made you a temporary cat. request=open requested: <yes> <no> wc: 1,120 ft: straw hats

⭑First of all, Luffy would call out your name EVERYWHERE.

⭑If you didn't respond, he would use his Gum-Gum Fruit to climb the crow's nest.

⭑But, sadly, he didn’t see u. But instead, a small cat sitting on top of the merry’s head.

⭑He’d used his gum-gum powers to go to the cat and would tilt his head to the side due to confusion.

⭑But no worries since he’d smile and try to pet the cat.

⭑Would honestly forget about you and would just wanna play with the cat (which IS technically you...)

⭑The next day though, he'd try to look at the cat again (HE WANTS TO PLAY!!).

⭑Though when he saw you, he'd be happy again!

⭑Would invite you to look for the cat with him but give up 5 minutes later.

⭑You promised Zoro to spar with him after lunch.

⭑However, when he arrived at the crow's nest, a cat was waiting for his arrival.

⭑He won't pay mind to the sitting cat, instead, he'd use that time to train.

⭑But, the sun is starting to set and the cat hasn't moved an inch. He's getting pissed.

⭑Would mumble a curse and say stupid. But the cat meowed at him.

⭑He FINALLY looked at the cat and said, "What?"

⭑You'd growl at him and scratch his pants.

⭑He was honestly deciding to kick you but noticed your similar features and FINALLY REALIZED.

⭑Would laugh at you and pet you. He also realized that he likes cuddling with you!

⭑Poor man, save Sanji from this hell.

⭑When he didn't see u in the dining hall eating, he was worried.

⭑Would asked Robin and Nami if they saw you, but both the girls said no.

⭑After everyone left to do whatever and Sanji finally overcame his breakdown, he saw a small cat standing at the center of the table.

⭑He was honestly angry at first. Who's cat is this? And don't they know that they shed a lot!?

⭑But when he took a closer look at you and a super deep inhaling, he finally realized it was you.

⭑"Is that really you, Y/n?" he said.

⭑You meowed back, happy that Sanji recognized you immediately.

⭑He'd pet you and hug you (He wanna spend time with you ok? Especially if ur taller than him. NOW HE'S LARGER >:))

⭑The rest of the day was just u sleeping on the counter, occasionally getting pets from him.

⭑You were hanging around Nami's tangerine trees, trying to hide from the sun.

⭑She finally finished drawing the last island that you guys went to. So, of course, she wanted to rest for a while.

⭑And what better way to do it than to eat one of her tangerines?

⭑She took a step forward but was blocked. She looked down and saw a little kitty sleeping.

⭑She cooed on the sleeping cat and picked it up gently, scared to awaken it.

⭑Nami would then go to her office and lay you on her desk, admiring your sleeping form.

⭑She would take a piece of paper to put every question she has for you and try to communicate with you.

⭑When she finally noticed that the cat was you, SHE WAS SQUEALING!

⭑She was kinda sad that you can't turn into a cat at will though.

⭑Ussop was bored and was just walking on the green grass.

⭑Suddenly he tripped and fell. He then would look back and notice a cat sleeping.

⭑The cat, who was formally sleeping stretched its body.

⭑Ussop, honestly, was scared at first. He WAS sure there wasn't anything lying around. But when he turned around, he sent out a relief of sigh.

⭑"It was just a cat," he had thought, "WHAT IS A CAT DOING HERE?"

⭑Bro was shaking. Though you just glared at Ussop, disturbing your sleep.

⭑Would sit down and play with you.

⭑Bro exhausted you and got you back to your human form quicker than 24 hrs.

⭑W Ussop

⭑Chopper was reading a book in his office when he heard some scratching on the other side of the door.

⭑Chopper opened the door and saw you frowning.

⭑He immediately recognized it was you. From your features to your smell.

⭑When I tell you his eyes were sparkling, it was SPARKLING.

⭑He invited you to his office and tried to talk to you. Since he was an animal by heart, it was the easiest to talk to him.

⭑You honestly had a good fun chat with Chopper.

⭑He told you fun facts about cats and how they used to be worshipped.

⭑Honestly, 10/10. Just come to Chopper.

⭑Robin was just hanging around the deck of the merry. Reading as she pleased.

⭑Until she heard some meowing beside her.

⭑She looked down and saw a cat. Though it was her first time seeing it, she felt a sense of familiarity.

⭑"Y/n?" she spoke.

⭑You meowed back, happy that Robin noticed you.

⭑She made a few jokes about you staying like that forever. (It made u scared and u started meowing faster.)

⭑Robin chuckled and used her devil fruit to tickle you.

⭑And from exhaustion, it made you turn back to normal. YEY!!

⭑Now, whenever someone from the crew gets turned into a cat, Robin just needs to exhaust them, and they'll turn back to normal.

⭑You were gonna surprise Franky 'bout being turned into a cat.

⭑You weren't looking in your direction and fell into a massive tub of cola.

⭑Franky saw you and used his mini hands to save you.

⭑You stuck your tongue out to the cyborg man who was in a state of confusion.

⭑"Owh! Y/n! This is SUPPPERRRR weird!" he said.

⭑He'd honestly play with you in your cat form. I mean, he's superrr excited!!

⭑He also got u back on ur normal form. YEY!!

⭑Brook felt something heavy on top of his head.

⭑He tried taking off his hat and feeling his hair, but nothing was there.

⭑It's when Brook lost his balance and you fell on his hands. (Thanks to his great reflexes)

⭑You had a smug face when you saw the skeleton's shocked face.

⭑He'd just forget about it and make a welcoming song for you though.

⭑Jimbei was just steering the ship when he heard meowing behind him.

⭑He saw a cat that was sitting down.

⭑Jimbei thought that it was somebody's pet. And since he was the newest person in the crew, he had no right to throw the cat.

⭑He picked you up and put you on his shoulders. The clean breeze hitting your fur.

⭑You fell asleep on his shoulders and woke up on your bed, feeling a sense of exhaustion on your hands and legs.

[yoonieper]

For the Birds— Part 3 | JJK

I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri) 

♡ Genre: angst, smut

♡ Rated: T for Treachery 

♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation! 

♡ Chapter Warnings: Jungkook is really repressed, su*cidal thoughts (somewhat vague), cheating, masturbation (m), edging, mentions of substance abuse (alcohol), horny thoughts, public sex (kinda), lots of making out, dry humping, thigh fucking kinda (m), premature ejaculation(ish?), fingering, handjob, unprotected sex (nope!)

♡ Word Count: 34.5k

♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.

♡ Now Playing: Low by SZA— see masterlist for playlist! 

♡ Betas: Thank you so much to @illyrian-book-lover @teawithhoneyandlemon and @mellowladyanchor for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing a future part, dm me! If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! Betas get early access to chapters, so if you're free to help out and can't wait for next chapter, consider joining the team!!!

♡ Author’s Note: This chapter was such a pain to get done 😭, but please enjoy this behemoth of a chapter! Nice and spicy with a side of tears! My specialty~ This is like the true part 1 of the series so ;)

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D

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Jungkook yawned and tried to blink away the tears that had formed to soothe his stinging, dry eyes. A sigh escaped his lips before he turned his head to face the clock that sat ticking away on his nightstand. 

6:58am.

Nearly a whole hour until his phone would begin buzzing and the drum solo he set as his alarm would go off. He still had some time to get the sleep he needed, yet no matter what he did, Jungkook couldn’t drift off like he wanted to. He had a long day ahead of him, normally he would never wake up this early, but today of all days, this had to happen.

Jungkook had gone to bed thinking about you. It started off simple, it was like a routine. He would usually take some time to establish a checklist for his next day, especially during times like these where he was normally so busy. Yuri had rested peacefully beside him while he stared at the ceiling trying to remember everything he had planned for tomorrow. It was just meant to be a reminder to himself that he couldn’t go home early, that he couldn’t forget to meet you after work, that he needed to make sure to text the chef not to wait on him to make it home, and that he had to tell Yuri he wasn’t going to be back ‘till late, not that she really even cared. But the second you entered his train of thought, that was enough to keep you in his head, and in consequence, the moments with you the day before started replaying in his mind as he tried to finally close his eyes and go to sleep.

He thought about how impressive you were during your presentation. You were settling into your new role so well; it was astounding to witness. You were always so poised, confident, and everyone admired you, he did too. Later that day, you both would be working alone together. Maybe it was the time he could ask you how you do it.

Then his mind drifted to his brief moment he spent talking to you. Why was he so awkward? The embarrassment made him bury his head in the pillow, a sad attempt to shield himself from the memory of your confused gaze meeting his eyes while his panicked brain tried to find the words he wanted to say. Why did he always find it hard to speak to you like a normal person? It was about work and he’d even practiced what to say during the meeting. However, like always, the minute he tapped your shoulder and you turned around to look at him, his brain just went blank.

That made him think about you even more, your expression as he stumbled over his words while he asked you to stay late with him. He didn’t know when it happened, but his attention had drifted from your face and zoomed in on the purple blouse you wore yesterday— you had looked really good. 

With thoughts of you on his mind, finally Jungkook was able to turn his brain off to the point he could sleep for a few hours. However, even in his slumber, he wasn’t safe from being bombarded with thoughts of you and your meeting. His tired mind thought about your blouse and running the silk between his fingers. He imagined your face, your red-tinted lips, and he thought about how confident you were during the presentation. You had led the meeting so well despite how quickly he knew you had to prepare for it. 

He had no idea how it happened, but instead of him sitting back and watching you from the head of the table like he remembered, suddenly he was facing the board room; you were now in front of him, on the table, and in his arms. Your skirt was bunched around your waist— he hadn’t seen it happen, but he knew it was because of him. Your lips were hastily chasing his and your arms were wrapped around his neck, clutching on to him for dear life as he pounded into you right there on the meeting table.

You made such pretty sounds for him— he wished he could recall them better when he woke up, all his hazy mind could remember in good detail was how nice it felt to be inside you. You felt so good, every move he made inside your warmth had him feeling like he was on the verge of losing his mind. Tears filled his eyes quicker than he thought possible— but then, he was actually crying.

Jungkook had pulled away. He didn’t know when, but suddenly he was staring at the blurred faces of all the executives that were in the meeting room.

“He’s pathetic.”

“I can’t believe he’s cheating on his wife.”

“He’s just like his parents.”

“Bastard.”

“Why would we trust someone like him to run the company?”

He couldn’t pick apart the voices, but the prosecution was distinct, and he heard every word so clearly. They never moved, he couldn’t even see their faces, but their words had tears rolling down his cheeks like a riverbank after a summer storm. They wouldn’t stop, but neither could he because you just felt so fucking good he could care less about what they say at this point. Jungkook was so desperate, it wouldn’t have mattered if they were in the middle of the most devastating, earth-shattering, cosmic event where the walls were crumbling around him and the floor was ready to swallow him whole; nothing was going to stop him from feeling you.

Nevertheless, the voices were all so loud in the background, it was mind numbing. He just wanted to enjoy this, but he knew he didn’t deserve to. They were right after all, what was he doing?! His body wanted it more than words could describe, but his mind was constantly telling him he shouldn’t do this, that he needed to listen and remember his wife, to remember Yuri, except he couldn’t. The fact that the judgmental remarks of the executives weren’t enough to stop him in his quest to have you, spoke volumes, and it just made the ache in his heart even worse.

Jungkook yearned to remember more of you instead of the accusations, like how it felt to have you that close. He wished he took in every detail— your expression as he pushed inside you, your lips against his, or recalled if he got the chance to kiss the exposed skin revealed by your off-the-shoulder, purple blouse like he had wanted to all day.

When he woke up, his room was still dark, his face was wet with sweat and tears, and he was painfully hard. It hurt so much, Jungkook panicked at first as he reached under the cover hoping his sinful dream hadn’t resulted in a mess— Yuri would hate him so much if it did. That happened once and she’d screamed at him all day about how disgusting he was. But no, this wasn’t that type of dream, but a dream nonetheless that created a horrible problem.

In desperation, Jungkook looked over to Yuri, who was still sleeping next to him, and considered waking her up to help him. Would she? He’s tried his best to do everything she asked, but he knew it would only make her hate him further.

Everything Jungkook did made her hate him even more.

And fixing this himself was off the table— he couldn’t stoop to a level that low. He’d done well for so long, he wouldn’t give up now; it’s what he kept telling himself, but everything inside his body was screaming for him to run to the bathroom and fix this. But how pitiful would that be?

He couldn’t, he just fucking couldn’t. It’s just been so long, too long…

Jungkook both wished and dreaded for Yuri to wake up. He didn’t want her to see him like this, he knew he looked pitiful right now, but he knew she’d make him forget about his dream in no time.

There was no excuse, the only person who he should be fantasizing about is his wife; but you, you just won’t leave him alone. With your short skirts, pretty red lips, and unwavering confidence. It’s only gotten worse as the months have passed— so much worse, he could hardly look at you without remembering what his sinful imagination had pictured of you. He was so disgusting, so fucking disgusting.

Every day he hoped Yuri would put him out his misery— in his most desperate moments, he’d thought about telling her what’s filled his imagination, wishing that it would make her fuck the thoughts of his coworker out of him.

His frustration has affected his marriage, he knew that. He’d been so irritable these days, how in the world could he be the perfect husband if he really couldn’t stop thinking with his dick for five seconds? But he was trying, he really was, but not hard enough.

That’s why he’d been laying here for the last twenty minutes. He had to be on his best behavior, he had to show Yuri he really was trying— no matter how much it hurt, he wouldn’t give into such deplorable urges. He wanted to be good for her. 

At first, Jungkook tried to go back to sleep. The minute he opened his eyes and felt his problem, he’d just hope going back to bed would be the solution. He’d tried to get comfortable, pulling up the covers again, but the minute he shut his eyes all he could see was you and your bunched up skirt while he pounded you into the table.

Jungkook hated sleeping on his stomach, he never knew why he ended up like that when he’d fallen asleep lying on his back or his side sometimes— but the position had his hips hastily chasing into the mattress searching for some type of friction. And it only got worse as he imagined you laying right underneath him.

He flipped over so he was on his back, but his pajama pants and even the covers caused enough friction for his mind to go back to the dream. Your red lips against his, bodies hot and heavy, panting and pleading for—

He’s spent the last twenty minutes tossing and turning, trying to force himself to go back to sleep. He had a long day ahead of him, he needed to sleep, but it just hurt so fucking much. He wanted to cum— he couldn’t even remember the last time he did that. Has it really been that long since Yuri came back from that New Years Party?

Fuck, he wanted to be good, he’d wait, he’d wait until she wanted him again, but—

Tears pricked Jungkook’s eyes as his hand slid underneath his shirt, feeling his hot skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

But it just hurt so much. He really shouldn’t be doing this.

Jungkook thought about Yuri, how much he wished she was awake. She was wearing those tiny shorts again, the ones she knew drove him crazy. If things were different, if he was a better husband, how nice it would have been to just push her shorts slightly to the side— feel her warmth, Yuri always felt so good.

Jungkook wouldn’t even have the patience to get on top, his neediness only allowed for him to swiftly pull his pants down, get one hand under her tank top, and use the other to push her shorts slightly to the side as he’d take her.

“Fuck.” He couldn’t stop his mouth or his hand as it started playing with the waistband of his pants. But you and your damn purple blouse. The one that showed off your shoulders and collarbones. Jungkook imagined in his dream that he’d kissed, sucked, and painted them with small bruises. Maybe you would have made more of those pretty sounds—

Jungkook stared wide eyed at the ceiling as he felt his hand slip past his waistband and grasp onto his throbbing length.

Oh no.

The tears quickly started welling up in his eyes again.

He didn’t even have the decency to commit such an act in private. The bathroom was just right there, but in the moment it felt so far away as he slowly started moving his hand. Jungkook tried his best to choke back the moan as his fingers made it to the tip, he was so sensitive— it felt so wrong, but all he could picture as they came back down was you on that table.

Your blouse, your skirt bunched up, your lips on his, your warmth— fuck, why did something so wrong feel so good? Jungkook tried to tell himself this was just to relieve the pain, but you just wouldn’t let him go.

“Oh no…” He tried to sob quietly as his hand started speeding up. He was so fucking pathetic. Apparently he wasn’t quiet enough, or maybe Yuri was just waking up, she’d normally be in the shower before his alarm even went off. Yuri steadily lifted her head and turned to face him.

“Jungkook, what the hell?” She grumbled. She sounded tired, maybe he really had been too loud.

He looked at her, but his vision became blurry as the tears in his eyes grew heavier. He still was able to see her eyes dart down to the tent under the comforter. He probably looked like a deer trapped in headlights as his whole body froze.

“What are you doing?!” She looked distraught.

He hurriedly tried to blink away the tears. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe that dream had actually made him lose his mind, but that burn, that need, just wasn’t subsiding like he knew it should.

“Yuri, please…” His voice was soft, but he was begging.

Yuri pulled back the covers and was able to see in as much glory as the sunrise would allow, his hand that had slipped into his pajama pants, and the hand that was still underneath his shirt. Jungkook had never felt more pathetic, but his body pleaded, no, begged for more.

Yuri just continued to stare at him.

“I had a dream and— I tried so hard to go back to sleep— so hard, I promise I really did.” He was trying his best not to cry but he could feel the hatred brewing behind her dark gaze. He knew she was disappointed. How does he always fuck everything up?

He probably would have crumbled into pieces and started bawling right then and there if her hands didn’t come up and grab his wrists. He was so confused, but she didn’t give him much time to process as she pinned his hands over his head and climbed into his lap— sitting right where he needed her.

He probably could have come by that action alone if only he wasn’t so ashamed.

“Yuri!” He gasped. She was so close, he could feel her so well, those fucking shorts not doing much at all, it was taking everything in him to not rip them off.

“You’re such a mess.” She mumbled, looking down at him.

“I know… I’m sorry…” He wanted her to forgive him just this once. 

Jungkook almost screamed when he felt her hips rock slowly, making him hurriedly chase into hers. 

“Please, please, please!” He moaned. His whole body burned, ached, pleaded— he wanted so much more.

“Mmmm, you know how pathetic you look like this?” Yuri chuckled as she ground down a little harder. He couldn’t even imagine how he looked right now.

“I’m so sorry.” He cried, because he genuinely was. He was so sorry she had to be married to him.

“What is it that you want anyway?” She asked like it wasn’t obvious with how hard he was underneath her. He was going to go crazy at this point.

“It’s been so long since we— I�� please— I want to fuck you so badly— it hurts so much.” Jungkook normally wasn’t so blunt, but his lust-filled mind only allowed for the equivalent of getting on his knees and begging her to forgive him just this once and put him out of his misery.

It’s been ten months.

Yuri laughed but sped up her pace.

“Fuck!” Jungkook whined, his eyes welling up all over again. He wished he could touch her; his hands running under her tank top or grabbing onto her waist as he pushed her shorts to the side so he could finally feel her. What he would have given to do that.

“Whose fault is that? It was your dick that wouldn’t work the last time.” She was laughing at him. His eyes burned from the tears that continued to fill his eyes, but he needed more.

She was right. It was his fault. Why couldn’t he just get his shit together that day? He knew he wouldn’t get another chance like that again, yet he still couldn’t do it. It was embarrassing.

Jungkook looked intently at where their bodies connected. His erection was so obvious, he wasn’t wearing any underwear so he could clearly see it as she ran over his length. Every time she’d rock forward the tip would almost push past the waistband, red, angry, and staring back at him with shame. He whined at the sight. He couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like if he could take off his pants and she wasn’t wearing those shorts.

She really would feel so good… how the hell did he pass this up back in April?

“I’m sorry.” That’s the only thing he could do, apologize. He felt so bad.

“And you’re crying, again?” She laughed in disbelief. Yes, yes he was; both in the fact he was ashamed, but she’d also been working him far longer than his deprived mind could take, and he wanted to finish. He only needed a little more.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Her voice was laced with honey, yet reeked of poison. She was so upset at him. Jungkook couldn’t even look at her anymore, he just hurriedly nodded, hoping she’d understand.

“You could cum just from this?” Yuri asked like she was actually curious.

“I will, soon.” There was no point in hiding it.  “I wish I could be inside you though— but I’ll take anything if you’ll let me finish.” How badly he wished she’d let him push her shorts to the side, but that didn’t matter anymore. All he needed was to be done with this pent-up frustration, maybe then he could get himself together again. 

This seemed to interest Yuri in some way, because she finally picked up the pace and started grinding on top of him. The tears spilled from Jungkook’s eyes as his whole body prepared for the release he craved more than anything right now. 

“Yuri please, please, please, please!” Jungkook cried and he couldn’t repeat it enough times for her to get it. He was close and all he could ask for was her forgiveness just this once. He knew this was his fault and he’d try and make it up to her in any way he could. 

He was so close, so fucking close— so hot, this position was so hot. He desperately wanted to touch her, but he liked being underneath her like this.

He only tried to hold back for a second, hoping at the last minute she’d hurl those stupid shorts across the room, get a condom, and he’d finally feel her like he’d been wanting for months. However, that only lasted for a second before he was sure he was about to spiral off the edge he craved. But it didn’t matter how much Jungkook pleaded, because right when his cries couldn’t get any more mangled and desperate, she stopped. She stopped and was off his lap before he could hardly comprehend his orgasm was snatched away. 

Yuri didn’t say much for once. She just hopped off the bed and looked at him for a little while.

“Somehow you keep getting more pitiful. Get your shit together, Jeon. This will never work if you don’t.” Was all she said with a dramatic eye roll, before she was marching out of the bedroom and leaving Jungkook alone.

Again.

Jungkook just sat there for a second, trying to comprehend what just happened. But his body didn’t allow for much because he still felt like he was five seconds away from exploding.

He hurriedly scurried over to the bathroom and set the shower to the coldest setting possible, he didn’t even bother to take off his clothes before jumping in.

As the cold water soaked his hair, his clothes, and finally started to cool his burning skin, that’s when the real tears began to flow. Because no cold water could stop how much he wanted to reach down and finish himself off. It would be so easy now that he was alone, but Jungkook couldn’t allow himself to stoop so low. 

He wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He’s already disappointed her so much. 

Jungkook let himself sink to the floor.

He felt as if he was incapable of being a good husband; really, a good person. He was awful. Jungkook was such a disappointment, a failure, a pathetic human being who only brought agony to the people he cared about the most. He was making everyone’s lives so fucking miserable…

Yuri deserved a good husband, it shouldn’t be that hard to at least be decent, yet he couldn’t even do just that. He got hard while imagining fucking his coworker and he had expected his wife to fix the problem?! It was hilarious, he deserved the punishment, worse really. When would he learn to be good? That’s all Yuri expected of him, but—

Jungkook tried to be as quiet as possible while the freezing water poured over his head and washed away the tears that just wouldn’t stop. He wanted to disappear. That would make everything so much easier. All he did was cause pain.

•────•──────────•────•

Jungkook stared at the coffee maker as the dark liquid slowly dripped into the cup. He wondered how he was going to make it through the day only running on three hours of sleep. It would be horrible if he passed out in front of you later.

His whole body felt heavy, just standing up was hard as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Coffee should help— at least it should give him enough energy to make it to work before he could make another cup to push him through the day.

He couldn’t embarrass himself in front of you.

You.

Jungkook scoffed as he suddenly thought back to his dream— nightmare really. Oddly enough, he was used to it at this point. This wasn’t the first time you’d taken over his dreams, you had a terrible habit of filling his mind even when he was fast asleep. You seem to love being in his head.

It was a little more recently that the dreams started, but his mind loved making up scenarios anytime he’d see you in the office.

He couldn’t even remember when it began anymore.

Had it been since you’d spilled coffee all over him? Was it then? All he knew was that you pissed him off for a reason he didn’t even know, not then, not now. 

Why were you so pretty? Why did he think you were pretty? He had a wife!

Maybe if you had met any other day he would have had no problem with you, maybe he wouldn’t have noticed you at all, but you met at the wrong time on the wrong day. At first, there was a bit of resentment— he had never hated you, but your first impression left a mark where a wound already existed. Seeing you reminded him of that terrible day and, for a little while, he made it his mission to give you a hard time.

It was petty, he knew that. You literally did nothing wrong. He knew it was only an accident, but there was something about you… at first you just made him upset. The reasons now have morphed into something more complex, something he’s desperately been trying to figure out to get you out of his head. It didn’t make any sense why every time he’d look at you he wanted to pull you so close that your atoms would defy physics and meet at the quantum level. He wanted you, badly, so fucking badly that he was honestly a little worried about later’s meeting.

Jungkook would never act on anything, but he wasn’t sure if he could be alone with you and not lose his mind. How could he not? Everything about you was like candy handed out by a guy in a white van. Enticing, but dangerous, far worse than what his naive brain could comprehend.

His own anger made things worse. He should have known just seeing what you were like on your very first day. No matter what Jungkook seemed to throw at you, you never once faltered, never complained, you absolutely crushed the assignments he’d give you. He was so amazed. You were so self-assured, confident, and meticulous. 

Everything he wasn’t.

Jungkook would be in meetings trying to stop himself from fawning anytime you’d speak. You were amazing, and everything about you just aroused him in a way that shouldn’t be possible. It frustrated him so much, he was fucking married.

He was a husband. He had a wife. He couldn’t forget that.

Jungkook tried to shake himself out of it and focus back on the task at hand— coffee, something he desperately needed before he passed out on the floor. He'd taken up the job of making coffee for him and Yuri. She hadn’t asked him to, but he was hoping this would be a nice peace offering for earlier.

He’d worked part time as a barista throughout his first two years of college. How he managed school, gigs, part time jobs, and Golden Tech, was something he couldn’t even comprehend anymore. But while he was there, he did get the opportunity to learn how to make those cute drinks most people would only be able to get at coffee shops.

However, he went for the classics today. 

Yuri loved Americanos, iced when it was hotter, but the chill November weather begged for a warmer drink. Jungkook couldn’t handle bitter drinks, he didn’t even like coffee until his schedule forced him to develop a need for it before he even attempted to go outside. Still, he preferred sweeter drinks with milk, sugar, or so much creamer you couldn’t even taste the coffee anymore. Today though, he needed something a little more intense to make sure he wouldn’t pass out at his desk. 

He didn’t have time to nap, things were so hectic as they neared the end of the quarter and tried to prepare for next year. He was the overseer of all of this for their department and was more needed than ever.

A latte is what he settled with. He made it fancy too, using the milk to draw a heart over the shots of espresso because why the fuck not? He didn’t have much to smile about these days, why not add a heart to his coffee?

Americanos didn't offer the chance for a cute design, so instead he focused on trying to get the ratios right so it’d be perfect for his wife. 

Jungkook had just finished pouring the hot water into her mug, when he heard Yuri’s clicking heels as she made her way into the room. She was wearing a short, black, sweater dress, with her shoulders exposed just like your blouse had been yesterday.

His cheeks flushed the longer he looked. It was like she was trying to kill him. That shower had not worked like he’d hoped.

He coughed to keep himself from staring. “You won’t be cold?” He asked, hoping to keep his mind busy.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

“What?” Yuri scowled. He could sense her irritation immediately.

“I— I just saw it was going to be really cold today— 5 degrees actually, and it’s going to rain. I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He fretted as he saw Yuri roll her eyes before taking a seat on one of the barstools. 

“Don’t boss me around.” She grumbled. 

Jungkook froze as the guilt washed over him. He didn’t mean it to sound that way, but of course he couldn’t effectively communicate that he was just worried about her.

“What are you doing?” She asked, still clearly disgruntled as she rested her head on her hand. Jungkook suddenly remembered the coffee and hastily went to grab her mug.

“I made you coffee…” He attempted to smile as he placed it in front of her. He hurriedly grabbed his own before taking a seat, making sure he was far away enough to leave a chair in between them.

For a second, she just stared down at the mug, but then her eyes moved to his briefly. He probably looked desperate as he waited to see if she’d accept the offering. He felt like he was waiting for an eternity, but eventually Yuri just sighed before she picked it up.

Jungkook tried to subtly watch her face as she took her first sip. He made a silent prayer to whomever would listen that she would enjoy it, but her expression was unreadable as she set the cup down. Yuri didn’t say anything that gave him any type of clue into her thoughts. It wasn’t good or bad… but it was better than her spitting it out, throwing her cup on the floor, and saying she was better off without him.

Instead of worrying about it too much, he took a sip of his latte, and his brows furrowed as the taste relished in his mouth. It was pretty good for an espresso. He gave himself a mental pat on the back knowing at least he did a nice job on his own.

A few minutes passed by, the steady silence started filling the room and grew more unbearable.

“Are you going to the gym today?” Yuri asked, not bothering to look at him. He didn’t mind, he couldn’t handle meeting her eyes right now.

Jungkook sadly laughed at the mention of it. “No. Things are hectic right now and I have a lot of work today. I’m trying to get there a little early.” He said, taking another sip of his latte. Normally, the first thing Jungkook would do in the morning was head to the gym after he had a bit of caffeine in his system. He always found it a great way to wake himself up. However, the hecticness of his schedule has fucked up his gym routine so much that he’d barely had time to go lately.

Yuri didn’t respond to that.

“What about your plans today?” Jungkook tried inquiring.

Yuri sipped her coffee lightly before setting it down. “I’m going to Busan for a shoot. I’ll be back late— probably not till early morning.”

Jungkook couldn’t stop the way his heart sank knowing she wouldn’t be home later. He had wanted to talk after giving her some time to cool off and properly apologize for what happened this morning.  

“Hopefully they won’t make you work too late.” Jungkook tried to smile at her, but instead he was met with the sight of her blank gaze focused more on the kitchen rather than her own husband who was beside her. He resisted every urge in him to pull her close— a hug, an arm over her shoulder, anything to make this better. But he fought it, knowing that it would only dig himself deeper into the hole he created.

Silence, not even a chuckle.

“I’ll be home late too by the way. I have to work overtime with a coworker, so…” His words were drowned in his latte as he brought it up to his lips.

Yuri, once again, didn’t say anything. As the seconds continued to tick by, Jungkook couldn’t easily brush it off this time around. He wished she would plead for him to come home as soon as he could, and then complain about work always getting in the way of their relationship. Maybe she could even question him entirely about the coworker he had mentioned. Anything, he just wanted his wife to speak to him. Yuri was upset. He hated the silence. Why couldn’t he just be better?

“Yuri, I’m sorry for earlier.” Jungkook’s voice was shaky as he finally broke the awkward tension. 

“I don’t know what came over me. I just— Yuri, I miss you.” Jungkook turned to face her. He reached out and grabbed her hand that was sitting on the countertop.

“I miss you so much, I’m sorry if I woke you up earlier, sorry you had to see that.” He probably would never recover from the embarrassment, but then he thought about her on his lap and how he nearly blew his load right there. He missed her, why did things always need to be like this?

She still didn’t say anything. 

“I’m trying, I promise— I’ll be better…” His eyes started to sting, he knew he was moments away from crying again.

“How long have you been giving that excuse?” Yuri finally said as she let out a dark chuckle. As soon as the words hit his ears, he instantly felt bad for even saying anything. She was right— she was always right.

“Yuri—“ Before he could say anything else, she abruptly hopped off the barstool.

“Jungkook, I'm not in the mood today.” Yuri grumbled as she grabbed her mug.

She was never in the mood to talk about anything. Jungkook knew he should be focused on trying to apologize for his despicable actions this morning, but her words quickly lit a flame he couldn’t extinguish. She was never in the mood to deal with him, to deal with anything that involved them as a couple.  

“So that’s it then?” Jungkook huffed, but his face was wet. Embarrassing. 

Yuri stopped in her tracks.

“You’re not going to stay? We’re never here together in the mornings— you don’t want to sit here and talk with me, nothing?!” He was upset because he was coming face to face with the reality that his wife hated spending time with him. He knew that already, but seeing her walking away so easily from the one time they were up together in the morning, was enough to make him snap.

“Why is it such a crime that I want to spend time with you?” He cried as he stared at her when she still hadn’t said anything. He usually never got to talk this long before she had something to say. 

It was finally then that Yuri turned around.

“And why would I want to do that?” She said with the same dark laugh as before.

“I’m trying Yuri, so fucking hard. I—I—“ And he had nothing to say. Why would she want to be with him? Just look at what happened this morning. 

“Jungkook, I told you I’m not in the mood for this— I have places to be.” She sighed and turned away again.

Jungkook watched as she dumped her coffee into the sink.

“It was shit by the way!” She made sure he knew this. That was the last thing she said before heading back to their bedroom.

Jungkook tried his best to quickly wipe away the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling. Her words weren’t surprising, and he deserved them more than ever. He really was out of line. He was pathetic, so, so, so pathetic— why would she ever want to be with him?

However, for some reason, the thing that kept replaying in his mind was how easily she chucked the coffee he had worked so hard on trying to make perfect. The one thing he thought he could do right for her, and of course he failed. He was just one big fucking failure.

Jungkook attempted to take another sip of his own drink, but the taste was completely different than what he had remembered. The bitterness made him nearly gag and it took everything in him not to scream. Instead, the tears ran harder down his face as he quickly got up to throw his latte away too.

He couldn’t do anything right.

•────•──────────•────•

Things have been hectic these days. You were managing and making sure all of the numbers were being met for the holiday promotions, and also working hard to prepare for the next quarter with the teams.

This was the first time you’ve been managing by yourself this long. Director Son would take a day off occasionally when he had to leave the office for meetings at other companies— twice since you had been promoted, but handling an entire week on your own was a challenge you honestly weren’t sure you were qualified for. But there was no way you’d let anyone else know that. Instead, you put on a brave face and did your absolute best.

Today was hectic, and workwise, not really that interesting. Some meetings, assignments you needed to do, tasks you had to handle, it all mainly consisted of what you would typically do every day. However, there was an uneasiness in the air from the minute you woke up and thought about the fact that you were going to be working overtime with Jungkook. It was strange, but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t nervous.

Maybe it was simply the fact that you were going to be alone with your boss for the first time— you’ve never really hung out with the guy before, and any brief conversation you’ve shared has always been so awkward. You wondered if he genuinely might not like you or something, that it might go beyond pettiness over an incident that happened over two years ago at this point. You’d never been rude to him (at least not to his face), so you had no idea where that would have come from. You figured it had to be the coffee incident still biting you in the ass. Director Son had told you prior to his absence that your workload was still abnormally high in comparison to what had been expected of the last associate director. 

Things hadn’t changed besides your feelings being a bit more complicated. Did you like Jeon Jungkook? No, he was still a major dickhead for singling you out over an accident. But were you worried about him? All the time lately.

As much as you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’d get assigned more work, you kept your cool because maybe— maybe things weren’t as they seemed.

Even though it was always awkward, Jungkook was never mean to you whenever you talked to each other. He would smile sometimes, and you’d joke around with each other occasionally. He was pretty shy— you noticed that almost immediately, he blushed a lot which always made you feel a little funny. 

It was when you wouldn’t see each other when he’d get back to being unreasonably petty. Maybe the sad boy act was a trap to make you accept his cruelness out of pity. Maybe, or maybe not. The chance was enough for you, so you settled with— you still didn’t like him, but with more caution. You needed more evidence, and today was a great day to collect findings and investigate further— with you both spending hours alone with each other, it would hopefully give you enough time to see his true colors. 

Just leading up to your meeting, things were already starting to get a little weird to say the least. You both worked more closely than usual, and anytime you’d talk with another executive, or you worked on the mountain that was your workload, you always felt stared at.

You liked to think you had a secret pair of eyes in the back of your head because you could always tell when someone was looking at you. Your senses were going off like crazy today, and every time you’d turn to check, you’d see him staring at you.

It could’ve been because you both had plans later. You never once found yourself creeped out by his staring. He reminded you of Bambi at the way his eyes sparkled in the light, and just how bewildered he looked by your mere existence.

You hated to admit it, but it was almost cute?

You had no issue meeting his gaze— at first, because you were a little confused by what was happening, but then you noticed the way his face would light up before he quickly turned away, visibly flustered, so you just kept doing it for fun.

Then, there was the incident on the roof…

You needed to find him to get him to sign some papers. You had gone to his office first— he wasn’t there, so you asked Secretary Yu— she didn’t know where he was, so you were left wandering the floor, asking around, trying to see if anyone had seen him. Luckily, Hoseok came to the rescue as you wandered through marketing trying to find him— he told you he had seen him in the elevator when he went to deliver something upstairs. 

“He said he was on his lunch break. I think he was heading to the roof, maybe?” Hoseok shrugged.

The roof?

You tried to ignore the way you felt your stomach drop. There could be a perfectly reasonable excuse for why he would be up there. The actual rooftop of the building was reachable only by maintenance, but there was a terrace a few stories down that everyone at the office referred to as ‘the roof.’ It didn’t have much up there— a few tables and chairs where people could lounge around, and it also had these beautiful trees and greenery that somehow managed to grow that high up on a building.

It was a popular spot during the warmer months, and maybe if today were a nice day, you wouldn’t be as worried, but it was freezing outside. Just walking from your bus stop, which was just down the street, to the building’s entrance, you swore your nose would fall off before you even reached the door.

What business would he have on the roof in November?

That’s why you said a hurried goodbye to Hoseok and nearly ran to the elevator. Maybe this was all in your head, and maybe you had a bad habit of thinking the worst— but your worry had saved someone before. Propelled by your belief that there was even the slightest chance of something bad happening, you never once slowed down as you made your way to the elevators. You hurriedly pressed the floor button, believing it would somehow make it go faster, and you nearly tripped over your heels trying to rush down the short hallway to the door.

As soon as you opened it, the chill air almost blew you away. Your stockings and your white button-up didn’t do much to protect you from the cold, but you persevered anyway. 

You didn’t immediately see him out there, so you hastily made your way further around the terrace. Your panic only grew worse with each step you took until you rounded the corner and a silhouette began appearing. It was Jungkook. You took a second to let out a sigh of relief, because at least things weren’t as bad as you thought or certainly could have been, but as you stood there, you noticed his hand come up to wipe his eyes.

He wasn’t crying… was he?

“Director Jeon!” You didn’t hesitate to make your presence known, feeling weird just watching him like this.

At your voice, he turned around, and for a split second you saw it, you saw his sad eyes and the way his face glistened with tears. However, it wasn’t long, and he hurriedly used his sleeve to wipe his face.

“What are you doing out here?! It’s freezing!” You exclaimed as you started making your way towards him. You tried to hold up the papers you were carrying to block the wind, but they merely fluttered before folding over in your hand.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” He tried to say over the sound of the wind rushing past. You couldn’t tell if he was annoyed to see you or not.

“I had papers I needed—” Before you could finish, he was approaching you and grabbing your wrist to lead you both back to the door.

You looked at him, then his hand on your wrist, then back at him, and then your wrist again. The more you looked, the more you felt your face grow hotter. Part of you wanted to scream and tell him to let go, but you never did, honestly too stunned to do anything but let him lead you away. He yanked the door open, pulling you back into the short hallway.

As soon as the door closed behind you, he finally let go, and you had to take a second to remind yourself to breathe, because what the fuck was that?

“Sorry, it’s freezing out there— I didn’t want you catching a cold.” He laughed shyly, and it was then that you realized how close he was standing. 

The hallway was short and not very wide. It was maybe big enough for two people to stand side by side with a little room left so they wouldn’t be scraping against the wall. But you and Jungkook were facing each other, so there was no need to be this close. You wondered if there was even a foot in between you.

You took a second to look at the way Jungkook was leaning against the door. A slight smile was on his face, but standing this close, you could see the way his eyes were a little red.

“I should be saying that to you. What were you doing out there?” You asked, hoping there was some reasonable answer to this. His smile slowly faded, and it’s like in an instant you saw the dark cloud that had managed to form above his head materialize right in front of your eyes. It rained and stormed down on him with a concerning ferocity, yet he never seemed to acknowledge the way the mood had shifted. 

“I— just needed some fresh air.” He didn’t even look at you as he spoke, almost like his mind was elsewhere.

“Fresh air without a coat?” You questioned after noticing he was only wearing his suit jacket.

“You got me there…” He chuckled sadly. You looked at him worriedly. It was on the tip of your tongue to ask if he was ok, but once again you found yourself lost for words.

“Um, you said you needed me for something?” Jungkook said, breaking the growing silence.

You almost completely forgot why you came up here. You looked down at the papers in your hand and waved them around. “Right, I just needed you to sign the proposal we talked about in the meeting earlier.”

“Ah right, I see— do you have a—“ he didn’t even need to finish before you were whipping out the pen you kept in the pocket of your shirt.

He smiled at your eagerness before taking your pen and the papers. You watched as he scanned over them, making sure everything was just as discussed, before putting the papers against the door and signing them.

For some reason as you watched him sign his name, it almost made you think about a celebrity signing autographs in the fancy way he wrote the characters. But that only led your eyes to his face, and then you were staring at him, observing him.

You noticed he was still a little pink, you weren’t sure if it was from crying or the cold outside. At some point he flicked his hair out of his face so you could finally see his eyes a little better and you were quick to notice the tinge of red, and his face seemed a little wet around his eyes. It instantly confirmed he had been crying earlier, worrying you further. 

His hair had gotten so long now, his bangs brushing softly against his cheeks, and the rest of his dark locks sat prettily just over his shoulders. It was probably long enough that he could very easily tie it up if he wanted. As he concentrated on the documents, you could even see that little mole make an appearance once again as he bit his lip.

It seems you weren’t the only one with eyes in the back of your head, because he turned to meet your gaze.

“I’m almost done.” He hurriedly reassured, and it was only then that you realized your staring might be rushing him.

You turned away so you were looking at the golden doors of the elevator, your face on fire again. It felt like a century as the silence painfully lingered in the air, but eventually he handed back the papers.

“I’m sorry you had to come looking for me. I wouldn’t have taken a break if I knew.” He genuinely seemed sorry. How could this be the same man who's been petty towards you since day one? How?! The Jungkook you had constructed in your mind over the years would never apologize, let alone for something he didn’t need to. 

“It’s not a problem. Things have been so hectic, it’s nice to have a break. It was only for a signature anyway.” He laughed at this, but then the silence started filling the air again.

You realized this was probably the time you should be saying your goodbyes.

“Do you want to come down with me?” You asked.

For a second, he pointed toward the door, like he really wanted to head back outside to that freezing tornado of no. But it’s like he realized that it didn’t make any sense, so he was just standing there, confused about what to say.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going back out there?” You looked at him worriedly.

If his fumbling earlier didn’t confirm anything, his silence now sure did. 

You had no idea what came over you, and honestly it probably wasn’t the most professional thing to do, but you flipped your hand over, brushed his bangs back, and rested your hand on his forehead.

You noticed his immediate shock with the way his eyes widened, but you pushed on. You then moved your hand to his cheeks and as you feared, he was still absolutely freezing.

“Sir, you’re freezing…” You let him know, hoping this would mean something.

You followed his gaze as it went from your hand, up your arm, and finally met your eyes once again. You nearly shivered as you stared into his eyes, his dark orbs felt weighted. Was it sadness, exhaustion, something else entirely?

You tried to shake yourself out of it and dropped your hand. “Going back out is just asking to get sick, and we really need you here.” You smiled up at him.

He didn’t say anything, and that confused look in his eyes still remained.

The awkward silence returned.

“Um, anyway, you should come down with me. I heard you were on your lunch break, yet I see no lunch.” You pointed out.

It seemed that was what it took to finally get him to snap out of it, as he looked down at his empty hands.

“Right…”

“Don’t tell me you forgot…?” And you just knew he did. 

“It’s a bad habit.” He chuckled shyly, but that just made you concerned all over again. What did he mean it was a habit? 

“Maybe we could eat together? I just have to drop these papers off and then we could head to the cafeteria.” You said so abruptly, it shocked yourself just as much as it seemed to shock him. 

What were you saying?! 

…

The silence that lingered had you ready to apologize for even putting out the idea.

“I’m a bit busy and my break is almost over…” You thought this was his way of rejecting your offer. “But… we can get food together.”

Jungkook looked back up at you with a smile on his face. For a second you saw it, that way his eyes crinkled and you found it hard not to fawn at the sight. You felt good that you were able to make him smile like that— for some reason you had the idea that it doesn’t happen too often.

With that, you were heading down the elevator and walking through the halls to your office. On the way, you sensed the questioning eyes of everyone as soon as they saw Jungkook trailing behind you.

Everyone around the office still thought that you hated him.

You eventually got to your office and you were a little shocked to find Solmi and Taehyung standing outside the door. They were just talking, probably waiting for you to go to the cafeteria, but then they finally saw you making your way over.

You noticed their smiles drop as soon as they saw Jungkook behind you.

“Hey guys…” You gave them a warning glare. “I was going to head down with Jungkook— meet me down there later~” You smiled a bit too hard as you set the papers down and turned back to Jungkook, who looked more than a little awkward.

You realized he probably didn’t come out here too often.

You didn’t give your friends any time to ask questions before you were whisking the both of you back to the elevator to finally head downstairs.

You honestly didn’t consider until later how… strange this might look to people. Not only because they thought you still hated him, but you were hanging around a married man like this. You sometimes forgot he was married, but the more looks you received, the more apparent it became how your colleagues might interpret your actions. But you had good intentions. All you wanted to do was make sure he actually ate something, fearing​​ that if you left him upstairs, he’d go back outside again and forget to eat lunch entirely. 

No one seemed to be worried, and you doubted anyone else would remind him to eat lunch. It’s not like you were this amazing person, but despite your mixed feelings toward Jeon Jungkook, you still didn’t want to just leave him like this. You wanted to help him even if it was just a little bit. He reminded you of Mi-Sun so much…

Besides that, it also gave you an opportunity to work on the awkwardness between you two before your long night together. Maybe he’d even give you bonus points for taking the initiative and being the first to try and extend the olive branch. 

However, neither of you talked too much as you waited in line, which wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. You’d sometimes try to ask him questions, but it didn’t lead anywhere besides a simple back and forth. The glaring awkwardness and the growing murmur of the crowd in the cafeteria filled the space between the two of you. Rome wasn’t built in a day; you knew creating any type of amicable relationship with Jungkook was going to take some time, especially considering you both didn’t start on the best foot, so you didn’t dwell on it too much. 

In between your short conversations, many people offered to let Jungkook go in front of them as soon as they noticed the CEO’s son was there, but he declined every time. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t surprised. That side of you who still thought the worst of him had you thinking he would use his position to nudge his way into any door he possibly could, even something as insignificant as skipping through the lunch line. But no, he didn’t even think about it any time someone would come up to him. Maybe you were wrong once again. 

Eventually, you were able to make it through the line.

“You sure you don’t want to stay? Maybe you could spare a few minutes to eat? My friends will be down soon if you want to sit with us, or maybe Director Park—“ 

“No, it’s alright. I’ve been gone long enough. Thank you, though.” Jungkook smiled.

You looked at him hesitantly. “Alright, just make sure you actually eat.”

“Don’t worry. I’m the king of multitasking~” He laughed, but you still were in fact still worried. For some reason you didn’t believe him, but you didn’t want to fight him on this.

“Anyway, I’ll see you later, okay?” He smiled at you before turning around and heading back to the elevators.

That was the last time you saw each other before your meeting. The rest of the day, you found yourself feeling even more nervous.  

•────•──────────•────•

As your colleagues began packing up all their belongings and saying their goodbyes, you tried not to think about the fact that you had to meet with Jungkook soon, because you either found your nerves returning or you wanted to cry because you couldn’t go home. 

When the time finally arrived, you passed Secretary Yu’s empty desk and stood outside the door. You took a second to just breathe and try to calm your beating heart. There was no reason to be this nervous, you can handle Jeon Jungkook just like you do everything. Get in, be done, and then get out. Home was your finish line. 

Before they left, Taehyung and Solmi performed a ritual to wish you luck for tonight by surrounding your chair with pens, highlighters, bottles of white-out, and basically all the office supplies they could find. 

“By the power of this printer paper, Y/n is going to make it home alive.” Solmi said dramatically, holding a pack of printer paper— you had just asked her to fill the printer tray before they started doing this. Taehyung was standing behind her playing spooky music. They both told you that the ambiance was the last ingredient to reassure you that the ritual would work. 

You called them dramatic, but they said it was necessary to ensure you made it out of the “demon’s lair” unscathed. It was entirely too much, maybe even a little rude, but you let them have their fun.

There was absolutely no reason to be scared, but you couldn’t help the way your heart sped up in your chest as you knocked you pushed open the door.

Once again, you weren’t greeted with a demon’s lair, but well— no, maybe you couldn’t say that exactly. Taehyung and Solmi, during their ritual, had put the thought into your head that his bright office was merely a façade maintained during work hours, that he and the room revealed their true colors the minute most people were out of the building. You thought it was silly, but as you grasped your laptop tightly and saw that his office was dark apart from the faint glow of a couple of candles placed around the tables, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had entered the right room. This certainly wasn’t what you were expecting.

“Y/n—” You heard, but suddenly there was a loud thud making you nearly jump out of your skin as you snapped your head towards the commotion. “Shit!” You realized Jungkook groaned, as he clutched onto his desk. “I knew that was there…” He tried to laugh, but you could still hear the pain in his voice. 

You shook yourself out of your shock, before you hurriedly made your way over to him, trying your best to dodge past the faint outline of furniture on the way.

“Are you ok?” You asked looking down to see if you could notice any damage, but the room was just so dark. You helped him sit back down in his chair.

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize my desk was there…” He sighed, his brows furrowed as he leaned back.

“How could you? Why do you have all the lights off?” You looked around now that you were fully inside the room, and your eyes had adjusted a little more. The candles created a nice mood lighting, and the sparkling city lights outside provided that last little touch of magic. It was pretty, very different from what you’d see during the day. If you didn’t know any better, you might have thought he was preparing for a date considering how romantic this almost seemed.

“I always turn them off when I stay here late— the lights are way too bright for this time of night, in my opinion. I don’t mind it being completely dark, but I lit some candles so you could see.” You were tempted to ask where he got so many since you had never seen them around before, but you kept quiet and just accepted the gesture. It was really sweet.

Jungkook suddenly swiveled around in his chair to reveal a minifridge you didn’t realize he had in here. He opened it, and you peeped a variety of drinks, mainly beer it seemed, but he pulled out a wine bottle before shutting it.

“Only if you want to.” He looked down at the bottle and then back at you. 

You were shocked. 

It was just then that you realized you never had a picture of what Jungkook was like outside of work. You couldn’t even imagine him stepping outside of this office building, but if you ever subconsciously had any impression, you never expected that he would be so… loose? You honestly thought it would be quite boring staying late with him, where you would be stuck fighting all forces of nature to keep your eyes open. You thought he would be the stone-cold, boring, business type, where you were here for work only. 

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Jungkook instructed you to grab Secretary Yu’s chair and roll it in so you could sit next to him, since all of the seats in his office were too heavy to move. As you left, he popped open the cork and took out wine glasses he also brought out of thin air.  

Once you got back, he even told you that the wine was yours to keep (a gift for staying late with him). You looked at the bottle, but you had no idea what it was. You squinted, trying to read the label, and eventually figured out it was entirely written in French. That’s when Jungkook explained that he had first tried this wine when his father had given him a bottle after a business trip to France.

“I had been having a terrible day, and then I remembered I had this white wine my dad gave me. I poured just a little to taste— next thing I knew, the whole bottle was gone.” He chuckled at the memory as he filled both of your glasses about halfway.

“I bought a few more bottles when I went this summer. I hope you like it~” He smiled at you. 

You figured this bottle was expensive, and you didn’t need to recognize the brand to understand that. Just as Jungkook described, one sip was all it took for you to understand precisely what he meant. It was probably the best wine you’d ever had; the sweetness danced nicely across your tongue before you couldn’t resist and had to swallow. You weren’t even that big of a wine drinker, but with this one, you could see yourself turning into one of those people who have a glass after coming home from work every day.

You seriously had to resist downing your drink because you were trying to hurriedly settle your nerves, but it was also that delicious. It was then that you both agreed not to go overboard. You were here to work after all, and you both still had to get home one way or another. One glass, two at most.

As the tension eased slightly, you opened your laptop, Jungkook turned back to his computer, and finally you both got to work.

Most of the time, it went as planned. You were able to fly through work relatively smoothly. You hated to admit that you two worked pretty well together. Your flow was like a perfect machine, two functions working independently, but eventually coming together to create the final product. Sometimes, you’d both be sitting in silence as the candles flickered around you, typing away at the keys, but then you’d always reconvene and spend most of the time talking about ideas, plans for next year’s Q1, and making the last bit of confirmations needed for the end of Q4.

As you both approached the end of the workload, you started to slow down, the last little bit is the hardest to finish as they say.

The whole evening was peaceful. It wasn’t anything at all like the second shift you’d pictured. Jungkook was… pretty chill. You sipped wine, and lightly chatted about work. How could this be the same guy you hated since your first day here? How the hell was he the guy who had rumors about people going into his office only to come out crying? 

It didn’t make any sense, and suddenly you found yourself upset at whoever spread that nasty rumor. Jungkook, with his sparkling eyes, looked like he couldn’t even hurt a fly, how did that even become a thing?

Then again, it’s not like you were any better… you were practically president of the Jungkook hate club before your promotion. You found yourself tempted to ask him why things had been so weird between you, if it really was all about the coffee you spilled on him, or if there was something else you did that you were entirely unaware of.

Your thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden when you heard ruffling. You looked over to find Jungkook taking off his suit jacket.

Oh?

•────•──────────•────•

He hadn’t thought much about it.

It was a little stuffy in his office, so he finally had to take his jacket off, roll up the sleeves of his white button-up, and undo just one more button. He didn’t even think you’d notice, but then he felt your gaze bearing down on him with enough weight to make him turn to face you.

Jungkook met your eyes briefly, and he had to take a second to recollect himself after seeing the way you were staring at him. Your eyes were dark and hooded, and you had the pen you had been twirling around your fingers teased between your lips. His mind was in all the wrong places. He knew that was his fault— but the longer he looked at you, the more his body burned with a horrible need. You looked so pretty; the city’s bright lights framed you nicely, and the faint candle glow made you look ethereal. 

“I didn’t know you had tattoos?” You used the pen you were holding to point at his arm. It finally dawned on him that that’s what you were looking at. He suddenly felt his cheeks grow warm, both embarrassed that he let his mind go there, and that you noticed something he’d been wanting to hide.

“Oh yeah… right, I sometimes forget they’re there.” Jungkook chuckled, trying to calm himself down. 

“When did you get them?” You asked, leaning a little closer to see them a bit better.

“Four— five years ago? I think I got them all during my last year of college.”

“Really?” He couldn’t help but notice the shock in your voice. “How did I never notice?”

“It’s not like I have too many. I originally planned to do a whole sleeve, but then I got busy, married, and overall things just changed. Unless I wear short sleeves, you can’t really see them.” Jungkook explained, his smile fading the longer he spoke.

“Does your wife not like tattoos?” You pondered, and he tried to ignore the weird feeling he got from hearing you mention her. 

“They’re not her favorite.” Jungkook was putting that a little nicely.

It wasn’t even like it was a big secret that he had tattoos before they got married. On their second date, Jungkook had to rush to meet Yuri after an appointment; his arm was still wrapped up and everything. This turned out to be the last tattoo he’d end up getting— the floral pattern he had on his elbow. 

Jungkook got so busy afterward dealing with the end of the semester and his job at Golden Tech, that he never could find the time for any more appointments before he got married. He planned to finish what he started when he got back from their honeymoon, he even had an appointment booked. But while they were lounging at the pool at their resort, basking under the sun in the Maldives, this one guy who had both arms done walked by. Jungkook had eagerly mentioned how cool they looked, but Yuri grimaced and said they weren’t really her thing.

At the time, she’d tried to recover and say she didn’t mind the couple that he'd managed to get, but Jungkook got the message; that was all she could tolerate.

Truthfully, she didn’t like them at all, and Yuri made sure he knew. In the heat of an argument, she’d called his tattoos ridiculous, silly, and even childish. Jungkook didn’t even fight back because he couldn’t deny that they didn’t look right. He’d planned to fill the space more when he got more time. The ones he had managed to brave before getting married individually he still thought were pretty cool, but all together, they were weirdly placed, spaced out, and generally just looked awkward since he never got to finish what he had planned.

He couldn’t say he liked them as much anymore. 

Jungkook had thought about getting them removed a couple of times; he’d even made an appointment once, but ultimately never followed through with it. He didn’t know if it was because of the pain he dreaded or the fact that when he tried to picture his arm bare again, he almost had a full-on breakdown. So he decided to keep them. They were his ridiculous, silly, and maybe even childish history.

Instead, he tried to be content with the fact his sleeve wouldn’t get finished, and just reminisced whenever he looked down at his right arm about the time when the thought of turning his body into a canvas was more than alluring.

He wanted to make Yuri happy.

“I think they’re pretty.” You suddenly mentioned, and one compliment was enough to make him feel funny all over. “Maybe you might change your mind one day about finishing it.” You continued.

Jungkook just stared at you as you spoke, his face felt like it was on fire. “I—I don’t know—“

“I’m sure your wife would grow to love them!” You exclaimed, turning your attention to the photo he kept on his desk. You leaned a little closer looking at his big smile as she kissed his cheek. They seemed so happy.

Jungkook noticed your gaze on the picture, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache at the sight. Something about it felt so wrong, almost like the two biggest problems in his life were coming face to face.

“How did you two meet?” You suddenly asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. At first, he was a little confused about who you were talking about, but in one of your hands was the picture you were looking at.

“Um— our parents introduced us to each other.” 

You cooed and turned to look at the picture, then back at Jungkook, and then back at the picture again. 

“You found love so early. We’re nearly the same age, right? It’s crazy to imagine being married right now.” You chuckled at the thought.

Jungkook stared at the candle in front of him as he soaked up your words. You were right; you would never see someone in this day and age married at twenty-six, at least not here. All of his friends from college were posting about going to the latest clubs. Not a single proposal announcement had crossed his timeline, yet he was about to celebrate his fourth anniversary in only a few months.

It really was crazy.

When Jungkook didn’t say anything, you took it upon yourself to fill in the silence. “Were you just so in love that you couldn’t wait?” You questioned dreamily as you batted your eyelashes. You watched as Jungkook continued to stare at the candle that sat between you, seemingly lost in thought.

“Jungkook?” You questioned.

“I heard you… it’s just… I mean, yes, we were, it’s just—”

“...trouble in paradise?” You asked hesitantly, worrying you were starting to pry too much.

Jungkook didn’t say anything for a while, his heart pounding at how easily you seemed to notice. “You could say that.” He chuckled, his voice was soft, you barely heard him.

“Don’t worry. Every couple goes through difficulties, I’m sure you both will make it through this.” You tried to bring the mood back up, sensing you must have hit a touchy subject.

Jungkook resisted the urge to say it was all his fault, that he was the bomb in their relationship— the one who was wreaking havoc and causing the mass destruction. It was all him. 

“You guys look so happy here. When did you take this?” You pointed back to the picture on his desk. 

“That was our honeymoon.” His voice was slightly pained, as he thought back to a time when everything was still so promising; when he still seemed promising. You didn’t seem to notice, though.

“Where did you guys go? The background looks so pretty.” You pointed out the sparkling water that sat behind them. It was the clearest blue you’d ever seen.

“The Maldives.” He answered, and your eyes widened. You instantly felt a little jealous.

“If you ever have a business trip that takes you back to some beautiful island, you should take me with you. I could even try to squeeze into your suitcase if you’ll let me.” This finally got Jungkook to laugh.

“I’m serious— I’m sure I could fit inside!” You were already working out your plan in your head on how you’d somehow make the journey. He laughed even harder, like it was the funniest thing in the world. You quickly settled on the fact you liked it when Jungkook laughed, it was cute, this was the first time you heard it go beyond just a simple chuckle. It didn’t match him at all, but at the same time, it did. It was a distinct sound that made you unable to stop yourself from joining in, because you would have never guessed that was his laugh, but you found it oddly… endearing? It felt very Jungkook, even though you weren’t sure what that really meant yet. 

You decided to keep the joke going because you wanted to hear him laugh more. You told him you were sure you could somehow do it; if anyone could figure out how to travel by suitcase from Korea all the way to The Maldives, it would be you.

“What! I’ve never even left the country before, and I want to travel so badly. You seriously have to bring me on your next business trip!” You were both joking and incredibly serious at the same time. You had always wanted to travel.

Jungkook sensed this and calmed down a little. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Your eyes widened. “Is this a promise I’m hearing, Director Jeon?” Your excitement made Jungkook feel strange— fluttery almost. 

“Promise.” He smiled at you. You beamed and held out your pinkie. Jungkook looked down and then back up at your eyes, a little confused.

You got the message and grabbed his wrist so you could lock pinkies. You took it a step further, and your hand so your thumbs touched. “Look, it’s official now~” 

Jungkook stared down at your interwoven hands, his heart nearly beating out of his chest at all the thoughts racing through his head. The clearest one being the feeling of your hand in his— so small, warm, and the urge to pull you into his arms was dangerous. He remembered his dream from this morning, that stupid fucking dream he had of fucking you on that meeting table. What would your hands feel like elsewhere? He wanted to touch you too. He was aware of how alone you both were in the building; no one was in the office, no one would barge in and see if you— 

But then he was brought back to reality, and suddenly it was painfully hot in this room. Jungkook quickly let go of your hand as his face continued to warm.

“You ok?” Your red lips formed the words, but he had a hard time listening.

That cold shower didn’t help at all. If he took another one once he got back home, he knew that wouldn’t be enough. At this point, Jungkook doubted that if he sat in a bath of ice water for an hour it would be enough to calm the way his body burned and pleaded for help.

If he tried once again and begged Yuri, would she say yes? The idea was laughable, considering the stunt he pulled this morning. He was pathetic; why would she help him?

“Jungkook?” You tried calling out to him once again after seeing him get lost in thought. 

That was finally enough to get him to snap out of it. 

“I–I’m so sorry. I’m fine, you’re fine.” He tried his best to laugh it off. Jungkook couldn’t even look at you as he spoke.

“Was it the promise? I’m sorry if that was inappropriate. I know you’re married. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable…” You trailed off worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I promise! I just got a lot on my mind.” You, he had a whole lot of you in his head.

You still looked at him with concern, but you hoped you didn’t make things weird… or rather, weirder than they already were. You tried to get back to work once again, but it was hard to make any progress after what happened. 

You battled the thoughts clouding your mind.

What was even happening? Maybe the wine was stronger than you thought, or you had suddenly become a lightweight, the possibility making more sense than understanding just how much you weren’t thinking straight anymore. That had to be it, right? 

Your face grew more flushed as you stared at your computer trying to comprehend what just occurred. Was that weird? It was just supposed to be a cute promise. You didn’t think that was crossing a line, but the way he looked at you…

Your whole body shivered at the thought and where your mind led you. You had to get it together. 

•────•──────────•────•

This was bad.

His wandering mind had led him down a dangerous path that he was desperately trying to save himself from. The only thing Jungkook could think about while he tried to focus on the spreadsheets in front of him was you who was sitting next to him: your hand in his, your red lips you’d occasionally pull between your teeth as you concentrated on your work, and your skirt that he swore got shorter each time he glanced over at you. But then his mind drifted to his wife, Yuri. 

He missed her. Was there any chance she’d be back at their place, ready willing to help him fix this? Clothes nowhere in sight, her legs spread, just waiting for him to come home and—

If he was just better… 

It only made him think back to their honeymoon, when she still had hope in him. 

Things had been a bit awkward at first, but as they partook in more activities around the island, they started loosening up. The pleasant moments eventually led them to the hot tub right outside their room. 

They had a beautiful view of the Indian Ocean, the sun was just starting to go under the horizon, and the sky was lit up beautifully with a symphony of vibrant colors that had painted the water below. It was breathtaking. 

It was Yuri’s idea for them to get in the hot tub that overlooked the sight to finally get the chance to just sit and talk. They did, that evening had been so magical as they spoke with each other about their lives and even spilled a lot of personal thoughts and fears, all while they sipped a bottle of amazing champagne. The awkwardness finally seemed to dissipate, and it was just the two of them getting to know each other after the chaos of the wedding. The moment had made his heart feel so warm, knowing that they were in a place where they could open up to each other. 

Jungkook didn’t know how it happened. Maybe Yuri had started to feel the same sparks flying in the air that he did. He was just so happy and in the moment, he didn’t remember how things got to that point, but suddenly she was crawling into his lap and kissing him. 

Things escalated very quickly after that. One moment Jungkook was kissing her sweetly, just happy to be having an intimate moment with his wife, but things changed before he could even process what was going on. The pace all of a sudden started picking up, her hands were running across his burning skin, her lips hastily moving against his. Then he was throwing her red bikini top off, and suddenly they were rushing out the hot tub back inside to the bed. It was there where they fucked with their bathing suits still clinging to their bodies— He thought it was romantic, the type of sex he had only dreamed of, so passionate and lost in the moment that no one could even find time to take off their clothes. 

If he got an opportunity like that again with Yuri...       

…

He wanted to ruin her.

He tried his best not to get emotional again. Not with you here. He didn’t want you to know how pathetic he was, how disgusting his thoughts were— because, with you he wanted to do worse. With you, he entertained the deepest, darkest desires he’d tried his best to keep buried for the sake of his relationship. But when it came to you—

Jungkook looked over in your direction, your red lips, short skirt, and long legs… he didn’t want to just ruin you, he wanted to absolutely destroy you. At least that’s what he felt would happen— this horrible desire to have you, when he had someone to go home to, was a breeding ground for his imagination to run wild. You were a fantasy, a fantasy that should be burned in the hottest flames imaginable.

It was just so fucking wrong, and the more he looked at you, the more his blood boiled. Why did you have to work here? Why were you so pretty? Why did he have to want you so badly? Why did he have to be married? Why did his brother have to leave? Why couldn’t he be a better husband so Yuri would want him and this whole situation could have been avoided?

In another world, he could have dreaded needing to stay with you after work. His wife could have been sitting back at home waiting for him, missing him. If he was just better, Yuri would have texted him throughout the day. It would have been about random stuff she wanted to tell him, and when she would have made it home, she would have sent him something cheesy like the apartment feels so empty without you here ㅠㅠ. He would have apologized, but fawned every time she’d text him because she was so cute. He’d respond each time and reassure her that he would be home as soon as he could.

But unfortunately, the reality was everything but that. He was the fucking problem. He could have had it all if he was better… he was always the fucking problem.

Instead, he was here with you, trying his best to ignore the way his pants were starting to feel tighter because he couldn’t get it together. He was thinking about those three buttons undone on that white button-up you have tucked into that short fucking skirt— so close to seeing more, how easy it would be to undo one more if you’d let him. That dream too— right there on the meeting table. Sitting here at his desk, it was so easy to imagine you sprawled right on top, waiting for him to touch you. You would look so pretty, and he would do anything you asked. He just wanted to make you feel good, to make someone feel good—

“Shit—“ It left his lips before he could stop it as he lifted his hips subtly, desperately wishing to meet something. That’s when you finally turned back to him, noticing how flushed he was.

“Sir, are you sure you’re ok?” You asked, concerned at the way he jumped at your voice. The candlelight was enough to show the pink dusting his cheeks.

To be honest, he’d nearly forgotten you were actually in the room with him. 

“Uhh— I’m just a little warm is all…” He tried to play it off.

You awed and started to fan him lightly with your hands, hoping that would help.

It didn’t, but he smiled at the gesture nonetheless.

Looking around the room, you noticed the fan that was sitting in the corner. You quickly stood up and went to grab it, hoping that would help him cool down. 

As soon as you got up, Jungkook let out a sigh of relief and rolled over to the minifridge that sat beside him. Past all the alcohol were a few water bottles he mainly kept as a means of sobering up, or to put a dent in the iron wall of a hangover he’d often wake up with. 

He grabbed one, and hurriedly opened it up and chugged it down, hoping it would help him relax.

You were supposed to chase a drink down with water, the tip saving him so many times when he was in college, but lately, he never remembered. Most times, all he cared about was silencing the thoughts that had grown so loud at this point it was almost deafening; it would always make his head hurt, and his heart ache. These days he could care less about the consequences whenever he’d be reaching into his fridge and pulling out a drink. No matter how bad the aftermath was, it was never more painful than how he felt sober. But today, Jungkook wasn’t drunk, not even tipsy. You were enough to occupy his mind, you and the image of you naked on his desk. While it did pose a great problem, it was enough to ignore the biggest one temporarily. 

You were back soon after and set the fan in between you both. You were a little shocked to see the candles illuminate the sheen across his skin— you didn’t think it was that hot in here.

“Sir, are you—“

Jungkook set down his water and shook his head. “You don’t need to call me that— please don’t call me that, especially when we’re alone.”

You stood there, a little confused. 

“We’re the same age right— I don’t know, every time you call me sir it feels like I aged 50 years all of a sudden. Please just call me Jungkook.” He laughed. It was true, it was always weird anytime you’d call him sir, but he needed any distraction he could get so he could finish his work.

“Are you sure?” You questioned, a little surprised he didn’t want to keep the honorifics in place. 

Jungkook nodded. 

You smiled. This was progress.

“Alright… Jungkook, how’s that?” You asked as you plugged in the fan. It instantly came to life and the blades quickly picked up enough speed to have a cool breeze blowing in between you both.

Jungkook tried to ignore the way he flushed at the fact that he instantly knew how much he liked hearing his name come out of your mouth. 

“Better, thank you so much.” He was lying straight through his teeth. It really didn’t do much. Jungkook doubted even a staycation to Alaska could solve his issues, but his heart still warmed at the gesture. You were always so sweet.

•────•──────────•────•

You sat back down on your chair and took another sip from your wine glass. It was almost empty at this point. You had kept drinking as your mind continued to travel back to Jungkook, his newfound tattoos, that extra button he undid— two now it seems, that bottle of wine you were sharing, but most of all, you were questioning where you stood. 

You had been debating whether to ask him if he likes you or not. This was probably the worst time to ask, but the dim candlelight and just how… nice, things for the most part have been tonight made you want to get to the bottom of it.

But Jungkook was quicker at filling the silence.

“Y/n, if you don’t mind me asking, why’d you start working at Golden Tech?” His voice was so gentle, sitting right above the sounds of the crackling candles.

The question had you stunned for a second, not at all expecting it, nor did you immediately have an answer.

“I don’t know, why does anyone start working anywhere?” You laughed, but realized who you were speaking to. Maybe not the best joke. You quickly cleared your throat. “But Golden Tech is a really good company— I heard a lot about it when I was still in college about how well they treat their employees. It aligned well with many of my ambitions, so once I finished grad school I thought I’d apply and see what would happen.” 

It was still crazy that you were sitting with the CEO’s son. A few years ago you thought maybe you were being a little too ambitious with trying to aim for Golden Tech, yet not even two years later, you got the job, and you were already the Associate Director of the Seoul division’s financial team. Who knows where you might be in another two years?

“Do you regret your decision? Honestly, I think you could have gotten a notable position at Samsung if you had applied.” Jungkook wondered. 

You laughed at his comment. “Me? At Samsung? Never in a million years would that happen. I thought I was being too ambitious by applying here!” You giggled, the entire idea oddly amusing.

“I don’t think it’s ambitious at all; you would have done well there,” Jungkook said quite seriously. He wasn’t used to this side of you. You were normally so confident, it was strange seeing you doubt yourself. 

“Yah, is this your way of trying to get me to leave?” You were teasing slightly, but you weren’t prepared for the panic to appear all over his face.

“No— no— never! I just— you’re amazing— I was just saying that—” If he weren’t so flustered, you would have probably heard the part where he mentioned you were amazing.

“I know what you meant~” You chuckled lightly, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. You saw this wave of relief wash over him, more than you expected, considering this was the guy who you feared didn’t like you.

Silence went on for a moment until Jungkook spoke up again. “You never answered my question, though. Do you regret coming here?” 

You thought about it for a second, before shaking your head. “Things have been kinda hectic, but I expected it; I mean, it’s a big company, I figured it wouldn’t be easy.” You decided to put it simply. Saying you did initially regret it to your boss probably wasn’t the best idea.

You thought that was the end of that, but when you finally turned back to Jungkook, you saw this weird somber gaze beginning to settle on his features. 

“I’ve been overworking everyone too much, haven’t I?” Jungkook suddenly said after your words finally settled in the air. 

You couldn’t hide the look of confusion on your face as you turned to him. His eyes were staring at the blinding computer screen before him, but you knew he wasn’t paying attention.

“What do you mean? Quarter fours are always busy—”

“That’s not what I mean… I know what they say sometimes. Everyone always speaks so highly of my dad, and he’s done so much for the company as CEO. The way things have gone so far makes me doubt I can meet their expectations when I take over…” That was an understatement. He couldn’t even make one woman happy. 

“The team I manage is already suffering.” He fretted. 

You found yourself at a bit of a loss on what to say. Where was this coming from? You were just joking a second ago but now… that look in his eyes. As he spoke, they grew more weary, tired, and sad. It was that same look you saw when you spilled coffee all over him on your first day here, it was the same look you saw earlier on the roof.

It was a peek into what was running through his head as he looked at you with those sad eyes. If you needed a bigger sign that something was seriously wrong, he couldn’t have given you a more obvious one. What made it even more concerning was that you didn’t know how big of a crack this was. What more could be lying behind those sad eyes?

“Jungkook, people understand you have a lot on your shoulders, it’s alright.” You tried to reassure, but you doubted he heard you. For a second, as he continued to stare down the spreadsheet he had up, you swore you saw his eyes get shiny.

“Ahh— sorry, this sometimes happens when I drink.” Jungkook finally snapped out of it, and hurriedly reached for his wine glass.

You watched concerningly as he chugged down the rest of the clear wine all in one go. 

“What happened to sipping lightly?” You tried to remind him jokingly about what he said as he poured your glasses earlier.

The wine glass clinked against the desk as he set it down.

“I’m fine— I’m making things weird. Tell me about yourself instead? Anything interesting happening in your life?” You could tell he was quickly trying to change the subject. You debated probing further, but you figured maybe a distraction might be what’s best to get him out of his train of thought.

“I was promoted not too long ago.” You smiled, and he actually laughed. It felt good seeing him smile again.

“I’m serious! You’ve nearly been here for two years, but I feel like this is the first time we’ve ever actually just talked.” Jungkook pointed out.

“I don’t think it’s normal to just walk up to your boss and talk about the weather or something.” You pointed out, but again it made your mind travel to the elephant in the room. Despite everything, had this entire time he wanted to be friendly with you? 

“I wouldn’t mind—“ He said it like he was serious, but sensing the sarcasm, you lightly swatted his shoulder— it was out of habit, but you regretted it immediately as soon as it happened.

Jungkook looked shocked for a second, before he smiled, that same smile that would make his eyes crinkle. “Exactly what I was saying, especially when we’re alone like this; treat me like we’re just coworkers.”

“Sir— Jungkook, I’m so sorry.” You felt like you were caught doing the worst crime imaginable— similar to how you felt after discovering you spilled coffee on the CEO’s son on your first day.

“Don’t worry, I really don’t—”

“I’m so so so sorry!” You panicked. Even though you really didn’t hit him hard, this might warrant him to hate you for an actual reason besides an accident.

Jungkook softly grabbed your shoulders to get you to calm down.

“Y/n, I told you it’s ok, really—” He suddenly stopped in his tracks because it seemed he realized how close in proximity you both had become now. Your chairs were a lot closer than you remembered and Jungkook pulling you a bit had somehow created a space between you that only had to be a few centimeters at most. From here, you could see the cute little scar he had on his left cheek.

He was staring directly into your eyes and you were staring back into his. Both of you seemingly shocked at the position you were in and stuck in place. It reminded you of what happened on the roof earlier, another precarious position, but as the seconds ticked by, you could have sworn his eyes darted down to your lips. Time seemed to slow down as you felt the gentle caress of his thumb on your shoulder, and… for a split second, you saw him bite down on his lower lip, only lightly teasing the flesh between his teeth— maybe it was the embarrassment, but it was so, so subtle, before you thought he started to lean a little closer. For a moment, you thought he was about to kiss you.

As quickly as that second came, he suddenly let go of you and tried to smile. “Uh— It seriously wasn’t a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

The moment of normalcy made you snap out of it. You honestly would have believed you blacked out for a second, but the way your face kept getting warmer was a sign something must have happened. 

As you turned away from him, you were greeted once again with the picture of him and his wife on their honeymoon. Right, he was married, you definitely imagined that.

Things grew awkward again as the silence settled into the room. You reached for your wine, wishing now it was a little stronger.

…

Saving the day from the growing discomfort being in this room was your phone buzzing on the desk. You sighed and set your glass down before you reached for it, not really thinking too much of it until you opened it to see a message from Solmi. 

You eagerly unlocked your phone, already having a feeling about what it was. Your smile erupted when you clicked on the picture she sent you. 

It was blurry, but you saw Solmi had quickly snapped a picture of her and Taehyung, who you heard earlier had decided to join her since you couldn’t make it. He had already been contemplating joining you both, but the fact that you definitely weren’t going with her, made him feel like he had to “be the responsible person there.” 

You had laughed at that considering they both were a handful, especially when alcohol was involved, but Taehyung could be worse if he got enough in his system. They matched each other’s energies so well, they had a sibling-like connection you had always found cute. Solmi was a year younger than you, and ever since she first introduced herself to your team when you used to be a manager, Taehyung had always taken on this big brother role to her, and it only got stronger as you all got closer to each other. Their bond created moments like this, Tae somehow getting dragged out to parties on a Tuesday. 

He’d left work a little early to go look for a last-minute costume, and you couldn’t help but laugh seeing what he’d somehow managed to get together. He was dressed as Mario— he had the hat, mustache, and you could just barely see the red shirt and straps that suggested he’d even managed to get overalls. Solmi was smiling beside him, and she had gone for another classic. She had already shown you a picture of her costume a few weeks ago, but she had thrown on some cat ears, drawn on a few whiskers, and you could also see a hint of the leather bodysuit she had on. 

It was a few seconds later that you got another text. 

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:48pm]: you should be here >:O 

Followed by more pictures and even some videos. Then additional texts came at the end of the spam. 

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:52pm]: taehyung’s drunk and keeps whining that he misses you 🙄 

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:52pm]: i miss you too friend 🥺

Sweet Baby Solmi [11:53pm]: tell director jeon we hate him for stealing you from us 😘

You couldn’t help but laugh at this one. However, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Jungkook’s eyes on you again, so you quickly scrolled back up to look at the pictures she sent you earlier. 

They were mainly the same, just a few different angles. It looked like Solmi kept clicking the button to get as many pictures as she could. There were some with them holding up glasses of beer and clinking them together. Solmi must have also gotten someone to take their picture because she sent you a full-body one where you could see their entire costumes. You could see a few more details you didn’t get to at first. Taehyung had on these thick white gloves and boots. Solmi had left her bodysuit unzipped a little extra than what they advertised in the picture she’d shown you. You knew her goal was to try and get laid tonight, you silently saluted her, hoping she could succeed. She had even decided to brave wearing high-heeled boots to add that extra level of sexy to her outfit. There were also some pictures that showed they had moved into whatever club or bar they ended up in, and were busy enjoying themselves on the dance floor. 

You were so caught up in the sadness steadily filling your heart seeing your friends out having a great time while you were stuck at work, that you really forgot Jungkook was in the room with you. It was something you had gone through all your life, your friends out having fun and always needing to leave you behind… at least you could have been home enjoying yourself, but—

You scrolled back up and clicked on the first video she sent you. The sound of music filled the silence, and you were quickly greeted with Solmi’s smiling face as she danced along. She then brought the phone close. 

“You should be here Y/n! You left me with this idiot—” She then turned the camera around to reveal Taehyung who was dancing intensely beside her. It took him a second to notice the camera, but then he smiled as she brought it close. 

“Miss you Y/n!” He tried to say over the music before the video cut off. 

Awwww… you missed them too. But your attention tore away from your phone when you suddenly noticed Jungkook leaning over. 

“They’re at a club on a Tuesday?” He asked curiously. 

You smiled. “Mmmm, someone’s nosy.” You chuckled and that immediately had Jungkook leaning back. 

“I’m sorry, that was rude. I didn’t—” He quickly tried to defend, but you just laughed and leaned over yourself. 

“You’re fine, look.” You held out your phone to him so he could see a little better. At first you contemplated showing your boss these pictures, but you figured there was no harm, they were honestly cute. 

“It's Halloween?” He suddenly said, taking a better look to see they were dressed up.

“Yeah, did you forget?” You laughed, making him chuckle too.

“My memory is horrible these days.” Jungkook shied, running his hands through his hair.

“Understandable. Things have been really busy these days, it’s hard to keep track of what’s happening anymore.”

Jungkook nodded along as you spoke, but he couldn’t help but sigh. It felt like the world was moving without him, that he was just an observer in the background until moments like these where he was brought back down to realize time had in fact passed, and it was always more than expected. He could have sworn it was Chuseok just the other week. 

“Solmi had wanted to go bar hopping after she heard about all the stuff that they’re doing in Itaewon this year. She wanted me to come, but I was busy, so Taehyung decided to tag along and make sure she doesn’t do anything too crazy.” You smiled as you scrolled through the pictures and videos, and you landed on a particularly funny one where Taehyung managed to find a random pole and Solmi captured him hanging and swinging around it.   

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was a special occasion. If I would’ve known, I could've worked on this by my—” But you stopped him. 

“It’s fine, two people make the work go faster, and I had been contemplating going anyway. Who wants to go out on a Tuesday besides Solmi?” You cringed, in all likelihood you probably would have spent your evening cozied up under your blankets, enjoying any free time you could manage and catching up on sleep when you got too tired. “I know they’re going to be struggling trying to get to work tomorrow.” You laughed at your words and at another video where someone had joined Taehyung on the pole, a guy in one of those full-body suits people use for greenscreen stuff. 

But despite your words, Jungkook’s silence told you he still was thinking about it. 

“Jungkook, I promise it’s fine. The wine alone makes up for it.” You smiled. You were definitely going to brag to them that you were gifted expensive wine from the Jeon Jungkook. They probably wouldn’t believe it until they came over and saw the bottle. You also had plans to look it up afterward, check the price, and confirm your sneaking suspicion that this really would make up for it.

Another video. Without pressing play, you could see Taehyung had the phone. What was going on? 

“Y/n, baby, I miss you so much. Solmi keeps trying to—” But the video cuts off before he could finish. 

You laughed and kept going with a smile on your face. You didn’t even notice Jungkook’s eyes or the fact that you didn’t question the nickname.

Hmmm.

“Yah… I don’t think I could do this anymore.” You suddenly said, as more and more hectic documentation came from Solmi.

Jungkook turned to you a little confused about what you meant. You showed him your phone again and revealed the crowd Solmi and Taehyung had found themselves in in their latest pictures. 

“Partying like this. I mean, I didn’t even do all this when I was in college, but now…”  You laughed. “Maybe I’m just getting old.”

“I don’t think we’re old,” Jungkook interjected, making you laugh.

“Oooo, is this when Jeon Jungkook reveals that he actually enjoys going to parties?” The thought was hilarious for some reason. He didn't seem like the party type, at all. You couldn’t imagine him doing anything else but work. 

“No— I just don’t think our age is a factor in us being able to go out and have fun at events like this…” 

You hummed at his answer. “I don’t know, the older I get, the more staying home and doing absolutely nothing becomes more and more appealing.” 

He laughed at that. “For me, that has nothing to do with getting older. But I somewhat see your point, college me was a very different person.” 

Was he?

You peered at him. Now that the thought was in your head, trying to imagine college-aged Jungkook. Hmmm…

You turned around over to where Jungkook had hung up his degrees. You had seen them before, but being this close actually gave you the chance to really look at them. 

You found yourself both shocked and not shocked at all to find out he graduated from SNU. It was the top university in the country, and of course the golden boy probably easily got accepted. No, that wasn't surprising, what was more interesting was the fact he didn’t have one but two bachelor's degrees, one in business and the other in computer science, you quickly read. It wasn’t the most outrageous thing to imagine because he was going to be the CEO of a tech company, but you knew that jaded perception you had of Jungkook still lingered because you couldn’t picture him actually managing to do all that work to get two very different degrees. 

“Did you even have time to go to parties?” You couldn’t help but ask. For all you knew he paid his way to get these degrees, but the more you talked with him, the more you couldn’t picture him doing that.

Jungkook laughed as he leaned back in his chair. “No, but Jimin hyung made me get out sometimes.”

His words reminded you that Jimin had mentioned that he and Jungkook had gone to the same college. As it sunk in though, you found that information a little easier to digest. Jimin had always seemed really smart. 

“Were you always the guy standing in the corner, brooding, clearly upset because his friend dragged him out of the house?” You giggled, and Jungkook joined in.

“You really think I’m that boring?” He laughed and you only just now realized how much closer you both were to each other once again as you looked into his sparkling eyes.  

“You tell me.” You smirked. 

He laughed again.

“Where did you go? Did you go to school in Seoul? I'm surprised we never ran into each other.” You suddenly heard Jungkook ask. 

“Korea University.” You answered quickly, but then your face grew flushed. You should be confident; it was really a notable achievement and most people would be in awe anytime you mentioned it, but for some reason everything about Jungkook made you a little self-conscious. 

“Ooo, so we were pretty much in the same boat then.” He said, and you looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“Did you even have time to go to parties?” He chuckled, repeating your original question. You playfully rolled your eyes at that. 

“I would make time, as much as I could, but I was often in situations like these where I’d be the one left behind so I could work.” You were proclaimed the most fun, non-fun person by your friend group in college.

“Were you the person in the corner?” His low voice had you feeling a little funny.

“Jungkook I’m a lot of things. I’ve been called a workaholic, understandable, but a wallflower is not one of them. You will find me on the dance floor at any given opportunity,” you boasted. 

Jungkook laughed again, the pinkness to his cheeks making you fawn. “I would like to see that.” 

Oh… you hated the way your body tingled at the thought of him watching you.

“Get me alone like this on a Friday or something, bring more wine like this one, and I’ll dance for you.” You smirked. 

His eyes quickly glanced over you, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “Noted.” 

You nodded, but it was mainly to shake the thoughts running through your mind out of your head. Fuck, Jeon Jungkook.     

“So you haven’t changed much then?” He inquired further. 

You shook your head. “I’ve always been this way. I put work before anything else, but I try to make a little time for fun sometimes.” You smiled. You turned back to Jungkook who had rested his arm on his desk and his head in his hand, with this smile on his face you couldn’t quite recognize.

“How do you do it?” He said softly. 

“What?” You laughed, but you were already getting choked up. He had no reason to look at you like that.

“I don’t know how to make time for anything else besides going home and to work. You’re amazing~” He chuckled nervously.

You were too busy however trained on the fact that he called you amazing. “A-Amazing?” You stumbled, your face was burned the more you thought about it.

Jungkook turned to you again when he realized what he had said. “It’s something I’ve always admired about you. You do so much, and you’re always so great with everyone here. Your meeting yesterday for example—” He gushed, and the more he spoke, the faster your heart started pounding in your chest.

“You did so well, and then there’s me. I’m supposed to be the head, yet—” Jungkook sighed and stopped himself knowing where this would go if he kept going. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. 

You sighed before picking up your wine and motioning over to his empty glass. He chuckled lightly before picking it up and clinking it against your own. You took one for the team and took a sip for you both.       

“Don’t sweat it too much. You’re not so bad yourself.” You smiled at him as you set the glass down. 

He really wasn’t. He still got on your nerves sometimes, but the Jungkook you’ve gotten to know over the last few weeks was almost entirely different from what you expected before you came into your position. He was cute, in a way that made you want to pinch his cheeks, no… that completely wasn’t right. He was cute in a way that made it hard for you to tear your gaze away from him. He was hot if you were being honest, but you didn’t want to admit that, he was married, and you still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room as to why he was always so weird with you.

As the candle flickered, you took a moment to admire him, and how his white button-up stretched across his toned body nicely. You’d been trying to be on your best behavior all night, forcing yourself not to peer too closely at the way it fitted across his arms, or how he undid that button, and you could only picture how nice his chest might look the way the buttons seemed to be struggling to keep all that contained. Then there were the newly found tattoos that decorated his arm. You’d always liked tattoos, and you never pictured a big-corpa guy like Jungkook to be tatted. It just made you wonder how many more you couldn’t see… His hands were nice, fingers enhanced with his pretty gold and silver jewelry. Then his face, you might have drank too much, it was only one glass, but you had always loved how he looked at you. He was handsome, his pretty eyes, nose, jawline, and lips that you knew his wife probably went crazy over. Jungkook was hot and maybe in a different timeline… In a different timeline… It was starting to make a little more sense why he was already married.    

Jungkook’s face burned the longer your eyes peered over him. His brain was malfunctioning as he felt your gaze. It just made his already scrambled thoughts drift more to a place he knew they shouldn’t.

He wished he could kiss you.

Interrupting the moment was the sound of your phone buzzing on the desk again. You finally tore your eyes away again to look at your phone. Lo and behold, it was another text, however, it wasn't from Solmi this time; it was Taehyung.    

You opened it and it was a video. You once again didn’t think too much about it as you clicked play.

“Y/n!” Taehyung had tried to yell over the music. It seemed he had made his way to a table and was taking a little break. “You should be here getting drunk with us.” He sighed.

“Solmi abandoned me for this random guy who came up to her while we were dancing.” You giggled at the pout on his face. “You should be here, I’m just going to be third-wheeling the rest of the night.” He sighed. 

You laughed at that. Anytime you all have gone out together, you and Taehyung were usually left behind, while Solmi abandoned you both for her person of interest for the night. You always had fun together, making the most of the fact that a member of your friend group left you for some rando for the rest of the night.  

“I miss youuuuuu. Fuck Jeon Jungkook for making you stay.” He whined, and you could tell the alcohol had really started to have an effect on him. You panicked, feeling Jungkook’s eyes burning into your phone.  

Oh, this really was a bad idea. 

“I might head home soon. We’ve been to I don’t know how many bars, and I’m drunk as shit. If I’m late or you don’t see me at work tomorrow, you know why. Anyway, I miss you and if I’m not there tomorrow, I’ll try and come over if you’re free.” You were hardly processing his words as Jungkook’s gaze burned into you.

“Byeeee…” He waved at the camera. “Solmi says bye too even though she’s not here. I’ll text you later.” The video then clicked off and you were left with the mortifying silence.

You worriedly glanced over at Jungkook. “I’m sorry, he didn’t mean it like—”

Jungkook weakly smiled at you. “It’s fine. I still feel bad for keeping you here.” 

“And I told you it was fine.” You both smiled at each other, but you hurriedly reached for your wine once again, feeling that awkward silence return all too quickly.     

“So, um… how are things going for you dating-wise?” Jungkook suddenly asked out of the blue.

You nearly spit out your wine. “What?!”

He suddenly looked panicked. “I just mean— well, I told you about my marriage, I don’t know, I thought— you know, I wondered how things were going for people my age who aren’t married. I mean— well, no, I was really curious about you too—“ He was rambling.

“Uh, it’s fine.” You were still flustered, but you understood what he was trying to say.

“Are you and Taehyung…?” Jungkook stopped himself, worrying he overstepped with the suggestion.

“Mmm, that’s what everyone around the office seems to think.” You sighed as you leaned back in your chair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Jungkook, do you think you can keep a secret?” You asked, before he could finish.

“Yeah, I guess so.” But that alone was enough to give Jungkook a bad feeling about your answer. The endearing nickname he heard from Taehyung in the video was pretty much the nail in the coffin. It’s not like it mattered. It wasn’t his business, he really didn’t know why he was asking. However, he couldn’t lie and say it hadn’t been on his mind for a while as he watched you from afar over the years. There had always been this suspicion that there had been more going on between you two than just being friends. 

You waited a second, the suspense killing him even though he felt like he knew the answer already. 

“We actually did date.” You answered bluntly.  

The words seemed to linger in the air for a second. You watched as Jungkook’s eyes widened as he seemed to take that in.

“Really?” He sounded surprised, but there was a trembling in his voice that made it seem like the news of the century. The shock hadn’t been real, but he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling that spread throughout his entire body as the words processed in his mind. So, he hadn’t been crazy. He suddenly had the very violent urge to throw up the lunch you had so kindly insisted for him to eat; that, or he could send you away and attempt to water down this feeling with anything he could find in his fridge.

You nodded.

“It was only for a few months, and we never really put a label on it at the time. It was dating in the most casual sense.”

Jungkook was too busy trying his best to ignore the way his heart squeezed, he didn’t even bother paying attention to your use of past tense.

“Again, it was only for a few months— we decided we were better off as friends than anything more at the end of it.”

Did you? Jungkook still saw the way Taehyung looked at you. He wondered how that conversation went. Was it you who made the decision and Taehyung just agreed? Maybe it was him, and Jungkook was wrong. He still didn’t like him.

“We didn’t tell anyone at work, not even Solmi officially; you know how office romances can go. Plus, we knew what people were saying, we didn’t want them to get excited and things didn't work out. But I guess we didn’t do a good job of hiding it.”

Turned out for the better.

“If it’s not too personal, can I ask what made you come to that conclusion?” He really was curious.

You looked around for a second, trying to find the words. “I don’t want to say too much; it’s mainly Taehyung’s business, and I don’t want to reveal anything he wouldn’t want me to, but Taehyung had a lot going on in his life when we started dating. Despite our connection, what he was going through made it hard for us to take things to the next level. It’s kinda hard to describe unless you’ve been in that situation. We had all the basics: we were attracted to each other, he was great company, and we really did mesh well. But the more we crossed into that territory, the more we realized something was missing at that time. It’s like we had all the right ingredients, but never the spark to actually turn it into anything.”

Jungkook didn’t really get the picture. What more did you need in a relationship? What was the “spark?”

He still nodded his head.

“When did this happen?”

“End of last year, slightly going into this one.” You recounted.

Again, that strange feeling of his heart tightening returned. He tried his best to ignore it. However, it wasn’t enough to stop him from asking his next question.

“Would you guys ever get back together? You mentioned he was going through something at the time… would you ever try again?” Jungkook felt his face flush as soon as the words left his mouth. This was probably way too personal. 

You looked noticeably shocked by his question, but maybe you wrote it off as the wine making him a little loose, or perhaps a slightly awkward attempt to keep this conversation going. Part of you considered whether you wanted to answer this question or not, but there was no harm in it really. 

“Um— I guess it’s not impossible. We ended things pretty open ended. Taehyung suggested that maybe we should try again when things finally got better for him, but it’s been months since then. We haven’t spoken about getting together, so I’m not sure. I just assumed he figured we’re better off as friends.” Your words trailed off at the end. 

Jungkook was tempted to ask if you wanted to get back together, but he stopped himself, not really wanting to hear the answer. You probably already thought he was weird.

Some much-needed silence passed for a little while. 

…

Jungkook shifted around in his chair awkwardly, desperately wanting to get the picture of you and Taehyung together out of his mind. He asked the first thing that he could think of, even though it really wasn’t much better. 

“Anything else exciting in the romance department?”

“Not really. Taehyung was probably the most recent. Things have been kinda dry since.” Suddenly, you seemed flustered. “Wait! Not in that way! Well… you know what I mean, right?” 

Now it was Jungkook’s turn to get warm, and he did a horrible job at brushing past the image you put in his head.

“Yeah— oh yeah, I know what you mean.” He spluttered, but he couldn’t stop himself from imagining being buried between your thighs. All of a sudden, his mind was back to that dream again and your pretty sounds as he slid through your warmth. Would you let him make you feel good? What he would give just for the chance to bring you some type of relief… All he wanted to do was make someone feel good.

But he was Jeon Jungkook. Even if he was in a position where he could, he doubted he would be able to do anything for you. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t do anything right. Nothing.

“What about you?” You suddenly asked to ease the tension in the air. “Has it always been your wife?” You were honestly expecting a sob story that would melt your heart as soon as it began, a nice transition to hopefully get away from the weirdness that had settled into the room.

“I guess you could say that— Yuri and I got married right after I graduated. Besides her, I never really dated anyone. I was so busy throughout high school trying to work on getting into a good college once it was decided I was going to be taking over the company— I thought I would wait and try the whole dating thing in college, but then I got there… things were even worse…” Jungkook trailed off.

“Until you met Yuri?” You piped in, wondering when she came into the story.

The mention of Yuri visibly shocked him. Right, because you and everyone else thought they met while in college— a silly suggestion by their parents that turned into a fiery romance that burned so hard they couldn’t wait to get married. If Jungkook were a better husband, that illusion would be so simple to keep up— it’d be so easy when speaking to people to forget about the contract that was signed along with their marriage license. 

But Jungkook wasn’t a good husband, he was a husband who made his wife feel miserable just by being in his presence, no matter how hard he tried. He was always a failure.

“Jungkook?” You questioned when he wasn’t answering, seemingly lost in thought again.

“Oh yeah! Yeah, then Yuri came into my life. Things were hard, but you know what they say, the worst storms always bloom the best flowers afterward.” Jungkook was lying through his teeth, and he wondered if you could tell. 

Going from college to being married was one shitstorm to the next, and it was all his fault. Everything was his fault.

He knew he must have looked strange at the way you continued to stare at him. But instead of pressing any further, you let the silence fill the air until you both finally got back to work. 

Jungkook typed away on his keyboard, but steadily his mind continued to fill with thoughts that felt like bombs going off in his mind— loud and destructive, the ones he knew would end him one day.

If you weren’t here, he would have downed that wine bottle, maybe a couple of beers too to try and bring the eye of the storm closer. But nothing he did was ever enough. It was never enough, just like he would never be. He was so tired, so tired of every single day being the same. He wanted peace, he wanted a happy marriage, he wanted to be a confident boss who assured everyone that Golden Tech was being handed over to a capable person.

Will the storm ever be over? Would he ever get to see the sunshine again? He was so fed up, and so, so tired. It would be so much easier that way. Nothing was helping anymore, no matter how much he’d drink, no matter how much he’d tell himself to get better, to make things better, that everything wrong with his life was his fault— nothing ever changed, nothing ever helped.

In the middle of the sea with no land in sight, sometimes drowning was your only option. His limbs hurt, he was exhausted from swimming too long, he was so tired, he couldn’t keep his head above the water. The sea underneath him no longer seemed like an angry beast trying to pull him down with all its might, he didn’t want to fight against it anymore, he wanted to relax, to let it embrace him, let it comfort him in a way that no earthly distraction could ever grant him. He wanted peace.

Peace. The quiet. He wanted it, needed it, he—

“Jungkook, do you like me?” Once again, you were here to cut through the darkness. At first, he didn’t even register your question until you quickly tried to backtrack. 

“That’s not what I meant— I… sorry I speak without thinking sometimes.” It seems like it happened all the time tonight, and that was all it took for Jungkook to remember he was here alone with you, and he wanted you bent over his desk.

Jungkook tried his best to ignore the way his cock pleaded for you and let you elaborate. 

“I was nearly finished with my work, and I had wanted to ask you this before I left… this might be a bit inappropriate, but I thought that maybe since we’ve been pretty casual with each other you wouldn’t mind if I asked whether you hated me or not.” You worriedly peered over at him.

Jungkook just stared at you, a little confused, wondering where this was coming from. It was right before you were about to elaborate that he understood. 

“Again, this might be out of line, but ever since my first day here, when I spilled coffee all over your suit, I’ve felt like I had a target on my back.” You were still trying to be professional, so you dumbed it down a little. If you said what you actually thought, you were sure you wouldn’t walk out of here with a job.

“I—I don’t hate you!” He rushed out.

He really didn’t, but you did piss him off, you still did. You pissed him off so much it didn’t make sense. It was confusing to him as well, but what happened with the coffee he knew was at the bottom of the list for his reasons— whatever they were.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m not oblivious; I can see how you treat everyone else on the team versus how you treat me. It’s been like that since my first day.”

It wasn’t a good look.

“I don’t hate you.” He stated a little more firmly this time; he really didn’t. “I will admit we didn’t meet on the best day or under the best circumstances— that just made things awkward from the get-go. But I don’t hate you, Y/n.”

By the look on your face— you still weren’t buying it.

“It’s not you, it’s me, I’m sorry. I have a lot going on in my life, and it seems like you’re often on the receiving end of it. Maybe it was the coffee at first, but I can assure you it’s not because of that.” Jungkook was scrambling, and you were still listening to him.

You already felt a little bad asking him this. Jungkook had a lot going on in his life, that much was obvious. The fact he let you drop the honorifics and gifted you an expensive bottle of wine should be enough proof that he couldn’t possibly hate you.

Unless the clear liquid turned out to be poison, but the fact you were sharing the bottle assured you that shouldn’t be the case. If Jungkook really did hate you, he had a weird way of showing it. But still, even if he didn’t mind your company, he manifested it in the strangest way possible.

“You always complete your work so well too, I can understand that it might be frustrating to you.” Jungkook was still rambling, but that much was true. You were a great employee and someone he could always rely on to get the work done well and on time.

“I’m so sorry.” He finally just pleaded.

You were truly amazing. Everything that he wasn’t.

His anger and frustration were misplaced, he knew that, and it wasn’t fair to you. An actual good boss wouldn't take out his frustrations on his employees, no matter what was going on in his personal life.

It just goes to show how good of a person he is.

“Jungkook, it’s fine. I just wanted to be sure there wasn’t any bad blood between us, especially if we’re going to work a lot more closely from here on out—“  It was then when you finally turned back to him. 

His breath had quickened slightly, he had leaned over his desk, and his hands had tangled into his hair. The long strands blocked his face, but you could tell something was wrong.

You reached a hand out and rested it on his forearm. The minute you did, he finally turned back to face you. Just like on the roof, you saw his eyes, and despite only having the city lights outside and the faint flicker of the candles, you could see the shininess.

It was terrifying, because you were close this time; you could perfectly see the despair that painted his features.

“I’m sorry, I’m fine— we’re almost done, let’s get through this, okay?” He quickly said, returning to typing on his keyboard.

“Jungkook—“ You tried, but he seemed adamant about finishing and getting the work done.

You sighed and followed his lead. You couldn’t ignore the guilt that coursed through your body. Once again, you missed the opportunity.

•────•──────────•────•

The bombs were back once again, and louder than ever it seemed. This happened every time his mind would wander in that direction, and it was almost impossible to turn it off once it started. With you here, it made his usual method of drinking until it stopped impossible unless he wanted to make a fool of himself in front of you. Instead, in order to ensure he wouldn’t lose it, he turned to the only thing he knew would drown the noise in his mind. You— you and that dream he had this morning.

His fingers were fast on the keyboard, but all he could picture as he stared at his screen was the fleeting memory of what it felt like to pound into you.

You on that meeting table, that purple blouse exposing your shoulders, your skirt around your waist, and in, out, in, out, his hips would move into your sopping heat. The drean was so fuzzy, and he hardly had a memory to draw from. It’s been ten months since he last had sex. Ten months of unbearable torture, much like what he experienced this morning.

He’s tried his best to be good to Yuri, assuring her that she was beautiful and telling her he wanted her now and always. Just last week, he had her clinging to their countertop as he was on his knees, pleasing her between her thighs.

It had nearly sent him over the edge untouched. Tears had filled his eyes because he was so sure he’d make another mistake, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her upset. 

He had tried to plead then, but he was too eager and said she had enough for the night. A cold shower had barely stopped him from giving into such disgusting urges, just like earlier today. Now he feared next time he wouldn’t be strong enough. 

If you weren’t right beside him, his hands would probably be in his pants right now. It was horrible, wasn’t it? He couldn’t be an adult and control himself. But that’s what the last ten months of his life had been like— Yuri testing him any chance she could, doing anything and everything to get under his skin. 

Yuri loved to tease him. He loved it too, it was only in those moments when he felt wanted. Didn’t she see how much he wanted her?

As childish as it was, Jungkook wanted to blame her for all this. Why couldn’t she listen? He had told her he wanted a break, a break from anything sexual for a while once he had recovered from pneumonia. It would offer the chance for them to work on and prioritize their relationship— just as he’d discussed with Dr. Min. He begged her to listen, that he would put in the effort so they could spend more quality time together to fill the void. He promised, but that short time she listened was absolutely miserable.

Yuri would wear those tiny shorts more often, and did everything she possibly could to get under his skin. He’d even walked into their room one day to see her using her fingers to do his job. She had forced him to just sit and watch, because it was his dumb idea and he had to pay for it.

It’s just been so long…

You sitting next to him was enough to send him over the edge. You and your short skirt, long legs, and that red lipstick. 

It’s been so long, he wished he could make his dream a reality; he wanted you bent over his desk right now, with your skirt pushed so far up he could watch your ass as he hurriedly pushed into you from behind. You would look so pretty, you always did.

He was desperate at this point, he needed something, anything… 

He had to get out of here. Jungkook wished he could count on Yuri being at the apartment, that she would see what she'd done to him and all would be well again, but he knew she wouldn’t. It’s not like he deserved it either. 

This was his rightful punishment. 

The fact things were so bad, the thought of an affair crossing his mind was sufficient proof that he deserved everything that was happening to him.

Jungkook was hardly paying attention to what he was typing, too focused on trying to stop the tears that were quickly welling up in his eyes and ignoring the way his cock throbbed. 

He was hard, painfully so— in public, and he was right next to you. 

He felt it happen, budget numbers being replaced in his mind with despondency, and how in a haste to escape his darker thoughts, his brain tried to go somewhere a little more buoyant, and instead fixated on the lewdness of what you did to him. That need to feel you, just the thought of feeling you, touching you— for you to need him, he wanted so badly for someone to need him.

This was so embarrassing…

“Alright! I think I’m done on my side~” You celebrated, and it was horrible how when he looked over and saw your bright smile, it just made things worse.

He wanted you. 

It was then that Jungkook realized he’d just been staring at his monitor for a while. It seems he’d been done as well. 

You picked up immediately that something was still off in the look you gave him.

“Uh— uh yeah, me too. We can be done here for tonight. We can meet in the morning and review everything before the meeting later.” Jungkook rushed as he hurriedly shut his computer off.

He needed to get out of here.

He knew his haste shocked you a bit. With his monitor off, a newfound darkness had filled the room, and his speed hurried you to shut off your laptop as well.

Jungkook recorked the wine he was giving you before he tried to get up inconspicuously, turning away from you as much as he could. Even with the darkness in his office, he felt it would be hard to hide what his dirty mind had done to him. 

He couldn’t let you see, he was already so ashamed. 

If you saw this…

His eyes were watery as he shakily got up from his chair. This was so embarrassing…

After you turned your laptop off, you got up too, noticing Jungkook was trying to hurry this up. You didn’t blame him; it was already near one in the morning, but you could still sense something was wrong.

“Jungkook?” You called out as you rested a hand on his shoulder, completely stopping him in his tracks. His eyes glanced down at your hand and then back up at you. You weren’t prepared for the look in his eyes the longer you stared into them. You couldn’t exactly read it; it was similar to what you saw on the roof. 

It made you hot in an instant as you got lost in his dark gaze. You knew you weren’t mistaken this time as you watched him scan over you. The candlelight flickered in between you, illuminating his shiny eyes and how obvious they settled on your lips. It just made you aware how nice his arm felt under your touch, and how alone you both were in the office. This was bad. 

What were you doing? 

“Is everything alright?” You questioned, your voice so meek you wanted to slap yourself. You needed to get it together. 

This causedJungkook to snap out of it as well, finally tearing his eyes away from you. “I— um, I’m fine.” It didn’t sound confident at all, and you noticed. 

You might have questioned it, but you knew you needed to get out of here. 

“Si— Jungkook, I’ll be right back!” You hurried as you started wheeling the chair you stole from Secretary Yu’s desk out the room.

“Alright.” He said weakly as you quickly passed by. 

As soon as the door closed behind you, the tears he had been holding back finally fell down his cheeks. This was just so embarrassing, it hurt so much. He just needed a minute or two alone, that’s all, and he could ease the ache. But that also means giving in, disappointing Yuri more than he already has.

Jungkook quickly wiped his face, scared you might come in any second now, and instead worked on blowing out the candles that were still burning around the room.

The darker it was, the less likely you’d see his shame.

Jungkook made quick work of blowing the candles out around the room, first going to the ones on the little tables, then he came back to where he had placed the most, on his desk.

As much as he wished this was a sufficient distraction, it wasn’t. He was still thinking about you and how much he wished you would be the one to help him, he would take anything at this point.

He was blowing out the last candle when he heard the door open again.

“Woah, you did a lot without me.” You remarked, seeing the room darkened by the candles being out already. And he was glad he worked so fast. One candle and he feared that would have been enough for you to notice what he was hiding.

It was disgusting how badly he wanted you.

“Y-yeah, I don’t want to keep you here later than necessary.” He stuttered and shakily turned around to face you.

Jungkook was nearly blown away seeing how gorgeous you were. The window bathed you in a beautiful glow that was only achievable by the moonlight. You were absolutely stunning, a goddess, a temptress pulling him in to commit the most horrible acts; and it was working.

Your heels steadily clicked as you walked, your red-stained lips that were turned up into a warm smile lured him even further into temptation, all the while your twinkling eyes peered over his quivering body.

He wanted you so badly…

The sweet perfume you were wearing just made the tears in his eyes grow even heavier, you smelled really good. He would do anything to relieve this ache. The desire was mind numbing at this point.

Jungkook hardly noticed both of your jackets and the scarf he’d worn were in your hands.

You handed him his jacket with a weak smile. It took him a minute to realize what you were doing, too busy staring into your shimmering orbs that would always have him choked up anytime he tried to speak to you.

“Jungkook?” You called out worriedly.

“U-uh I-I’m sorry.” He tried to laugh it off as he grabbed it, but he failed miserably, and it sounded more like a choked sob. He was hoping you’d brush it off as he quickly put on his black, fuzzy trench coat, but he knew it was too late in the way his vision grew blurry from tears. The dam had been broken and he just couldn’t stop it anymore.

You were still holding his scarf when he finally looked back up at you, and the look of concern in your face was unmistakable. You could see his despair.

“Jungkook…” Your voice was so soft and warm, like a flame lit in the dead of night. You reached up to drape the scarf across his shoulders, but your eyes were still locked into his, like you were staring right through his soul and could easily see everything.

Standing so close, you could see the pain hidden behind the starry way his eyes would shine, you could feel the hurt— they were just like Mi-Sun’s. Your hand lingered on his shoulders, before you finally found the confidence to reach your hand up and ever so gently cup his cheek.

Like on instinct, he couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling further into your warmth, a flicker of light in the frozen tundra he had become. It was an overwhelming affection he had never known, and while you may have just done it because of how pathetic he looked, it was something. He closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the taste of the haven he’d been craving for years.

“Jungkook, are you ok?” You finally asked earnestly because he genuinely looked like he was about to break. 

Jimin had been the only person to ever ask him that. He thought he’d been doing well at hiding from everyone the storm that raged on in his mind, but hearing you could clearly see something was wrong…

It felt real, too real.

You looked so worried, and as he felt your hand on his cheek, he just broke down.

Jungkook shook his head as tears easily slipped past his eyes and trickled down your hand. 

He wasn’t fine, he was the furthest from fine. Sometimes he wished the earth would swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to wake up and feel like this every single day. He hadn’t been fine in years, and the weight of it all came crashing down at that very moment. He could tell you were about to question him further, but he didn’t give you the chance as his hand slowly came up and snaked around your waist to pull you close.

Jungkook didn’t know what he was doing, this was wrong on so many levels and went against everything he stood for, but in the moment he didn’t think, he just wanted to stop the pain. 

That warmth, he needed you.

Jungkook pulled you so close, closer than you both stood earlier in the hallway on the roof, you could probably feel the shame he was trying to hide.

Time stood still for a second as he stared down at your red-stained lips, the bright color like a lighthouse for a desperate sailor in the middle of a storm. You were the refuge he needed, and right now, he didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted you.

Jungkook leaned forward so he could rest his head in the crook of your neck and bathed in the sweet scent of your perfume. He was so worthless that even just that seemed to make the ache worse.

He felt your arms wrap around his waist and you pulled him a little closer. The movement was slight, but it created just enough friction for a soft, unmistakable moan to escape his lips.

You could certainly feel it now.  

Jungkook felt like his skin was on fire, only moments away from boiling over, and you were the only one who could fix this. 

He lifted his head slowly, his face still wet with the tears that continuously spilled from his sad eyes. The hand that had been on your waist quickly trailed up your side to settle on your jawline, his thumb so gently grazed across your cheek.

You were dangerously close, he’d never experienced a need to this degree. He needed you, he wanted you so badly he wasn’t thinking straight anymore.

“Please— I need— can we…” You probably could barely hear him, his voice hoarse from the strain and he was shaking so much. 

But it seemed he didn’t need to elaborate; you knew what he wanted. Your hand came up from his waist to grab his shoulders to pull him closer, making his lips not even centimeters from yours.

Jungkook lost it. He couldn’t stop himself as he finally closed the distance. His lips were on yours in a haste, but he was slow and gentle as you both tried to process the fact this was happening. 

His heart nearly leapt out of his chest as he tasted the sweetness of the wine you both drank only moments before. Your lips were so soft, pillowy, and inviting. He could feel the soft tickle of your breath beneath his nose, gently pulling you close, as you breathed each other in.

The world around him seemed to disappear at that moment. He forgot about Yuri, he forgot about his marriage, he forgot how shitty he’s been feeling, he forgot about the contract, he forgot who he was. Right now, he wasn’t the future CEO of the second-biggest tech provider in the country— he was just Jeon Jungkook.

Nothing else mattered in the moment. It was just you, him, and ten months' worth of bottled-up lust.

His touch was hesitant at first, like he was so sure any moment you might change your mind. He thought you would, he was sure you would, that you would realize what he was doing, and your appalled reaction would be enough to finally wake him up and make him register what he’d just done. His brain was shot, but he remembered what this was usually like, waiting for the moment when you would say something, yell, scream, complain that he wasn’t good enough. He didn’t think he was, but that just made him more desperate. He wanted to prove himself.

But you never stopped him as his hands steadily grew more fervent, tugging at your white button-up and traveling down your sides to grab and touch as much as he could, settling just above the curve of your ass. The kiss quickly grew more heated, from slow, sensual pecks, to you both were practically trying to eat each other, building the ever-growing heat that settled between you two. It wasn’t a slow flame that steadily spread, but an explosion of lust that violently consumed everything in its path. 

Your hands grew curious, playing with the button-up he had tucked into his black slacks, and occasionally pressing down into the belt wrapped around his waist.

The sensation made Jungkook’s knees almost give out entirely. He fell back slightly onto his desk that sat behind him, breaking the kiss for just a second.

The moment was brief, but Jungkook used it as the perfect opportunity to finally let his hands slip under your skirt. He gripped your ass, enjoying the way the soft skin felt in his grasp way too much.

Fuck.

Jungkook didn’t know how it happened; all he could remember was hearing you gasp as he suddenly flipped you both around and had you pinned against his desk. He didn’t give you any time to process what was happening, because his lips were back on yours with even more ferocity. He just had to feel you. 

It hurt so much.

Jungkook could hardly help you up, the kiss grew more intense, and all he heard was the sound of anything in the way being forcefully pushed back— some things clattering to the ground, your heels even falling off in the commotion. But he couldn’t care less, not with the way you were clinging onto him as desperately as he needed to feel you.

It was messy, so fucking messy as he kissed you with all the pent-up lust that’s been building since you walked into him with your coffee. Your teeth clinked together more often than not. Jungkook was kissing you so hard, at some point he was so sure he was going to actually climb inside you.

But it felt so good.

Your legs hastily came up to wrap around his waist, pulling his needy self to where he wanted to be so fucking badly. The moan he let out was embarrassing; it was more like a whimper in all honesty, but he couldn’t stop thinking about this morning and all the dreams he had of being in this exact position.

His hips eagerly chased yours, desperate, so fucking embarrassingly desperate for any type of friction.

Everything was happening so fast, and still, the tears didn’t stop pouring out of his eyes. It was so sad, Jungkook couldn’t even kiss you anymore. The moment his aching cock felt your clothed heat against his, kissing you proved impossible. 

His mind felt like the most chaotic storm; he felt drunk not off the wine you shared, but of you, and he wanted so much more.

“Oh—“ You cried.

Just a few glides of his hips and he had you making such pretty sounds, even better than what he remembered from his dream. He only got greedier, and his pace increased too much.

He was going to cum.

“F-fuuu-uck” he tried to hold it back, but it just came out as something in between a moan and a sob. 

“It’s ok…” Your voice was soft and gentle as you tried to get him to look at you again. His eyes were so pretty, you wanted to see them again.

“I need you so bad.” Jungkook cried into the crook of your neck.

It hurt so much. He wanted to cum, any longer, and he was sure this was going to turn into a horrible disaster. He was so tempted to keep going just like this, to rock into you until he came in his pants like he was sure to at any moment.

“You can— have me— it’s alright.” Your voice was so soothing, but hicked when his hips came to meet yours in a haste. Your hand came up to run through his long hair. 

The affection was new, something he hadn’t experienced before, which made things so much worse.

It physically pained him to pull away, even for just a second, as he moved over and straddled your thigh— that wasn’t his intention, but your thigh was right there as he worked to change the position, and he needed to feel anything to ease the ache.

On instinct, your thigh raised up, and he could have cried— he was crying. He hadn’t stopped crying since you walked in— it just felt so good. His brain was scrambled, but he couldn’t— he wouldn’t allow himself to cum until he was inside you. He wanted to be selfish. He needed you.

Jungkook grabbed your chin so you would look up at him. He took a second to admire your delicate features; you were absolutely stunning, and he hated it. To drown out the agony, he kissed you lightly before moving to your cheek and he trailed down to your neck.

“Jungkook…” His name fell so prettily from your lips as your arm wrapped around his neck.

For a split second, Jungkook thought about Taehyung— he wondered if while you were together he got to see you like this, if you moaned his name so beautifully. It was only for a second, but it was enough to get him to suck a little harder on your skin, so that it would leave a mark.

He hoped it would.

“Don’t stop—” You whined. 

Jungkook let his hand travel down your body, stopping when he felt the buttons of your shirt. He needed this shit off now.

Using what very little brain power he had left, he tried to focus on getting the buttons undone, but it proved to be an impossible task. He was only using one hand, and Jungkook was more than distracted with painting your neck and enjoying the subtle pleasure of rubbing himself along your thigh.

Frustrated, Jungkook did the only thing his horny brain could think of at that moment, and pulled the fabric until the buttons snapped. For a second, he hoped he didn’t break any of them, but the worry quickly went away as he noticed the newly exposed skin and the pretty black bra you were wearing. His hands were eager and massaged your mounds with need. He was almost hypnotized as the moonlight outside painted your body and the feel of your soft skin in his hands.

The ache just got worse when he heard the soft sighs of pleasure fall from your red-stained lips. It delighted him too much seeing how it was smeared across your face. 

He hoped you weren’t too disappointed when he pulled away, but he hastily pulled up your skirt so it was bunched around your waist, just like it had been in his dream. The sight was even more bewitching than he imagined when he noticed what you were wearing.

Jungkook had too many fantasies where he would rip your stockings off to fuck you, but unlike what he’d pictured, you weren’t wearing stockings like he had expected, but the black sheer that covered your legs were thigh highs.

He just stared for a second because the wave of need that washed over him, didn’t make any sense at all. 

He whimpered as the picture started to become clearer, the sheer fabric coming up your legs to the lacy ends, your skirt bunched around your waist, and the black panties he could now see covering your core. It was hot; you were so hot, and he wanted to ruin you.

Suddenly, you grabbed his hand that was resting on your thigh. He looked into your eyes and could see the concern behind your gaze.

“You’re shaking…” You whispered so gently.

Jungkook looked down at his hand, and indeed he was.

Why? He didn’t know, and he didn’t really care at that moment. Jungkook did what he wanted to for so long, instead of answering, he shut you up with a kiss. Sometimes, you really did talk too much. No more talking; he couldn’t even think straight anymore to form an actual sentence. Instead, he used what little brain power he had left and let his hand slide up your thigh to hover right over your panties.

Jungkook barely touched you, but you were already bucking into his hand, like you were just begging for more. The arm you had wrapped around his neck tightened to pull him closer.

“Jungkook, please, please touch me.” You looked him directly in the eyes as you broke the kiss. 

He’d never heard those words before, and he knew from that point on that they should be illegal in how much they affected him. He wanted to please you—

Jungkook didn’t waste anymore time, and let his fingers brush over your clothed heat. He nearly lost his mind feeling the fabric damp already.

Did he do that?

“Please…” You whined, and Jungkook nearly broke after seeing the look on your face seemingly growing more frustrated.

He loved it too much.

Jungkook pressed into you a little harder, the fabric growing wetter by the second, and he couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to feel you. You clung onto him tighter when he pushed your panties to the side, finally letting his fingers run through your soaked folds. You cried out, and he almost did too when your pretty whines grew more desperate.

His fingers stopped once they reached your clit, rubbing tiny circles across the bud. Jungkook’s heart nearly beat out of his chest at your reaction, the way you shook and moaned underneath him, and he reveled in your pleas for more.

It just made him more eager once his fingers came down to your pleading hole, slowly pushing the digits inside you. 

The ache was unbearable now.

You cried out for him, it was his name that fell from your lips, and he couldn’t stop imagining it was his cock instead as he pushed in further. 

He wished it was.

You felt so good, so warm, so tight, and he still couldn’t get over how wet you were. He could hear the slick sounds of his fingers as they pumped inside you, just imagining this was his cock alone could have made him cum.

And so could you, the suddenness of everything had your body on high alert, every new sensation, so unexpected you couldn’t keep up. It was all too much, his body on yours, his fingers inside of you, his pained whimpers as he steadily rubbed himself along your thigh.

Too much, yet you wanted more, you wanted so much more. You wanted to make him feel good too, so good that he wouldn’t hurt anymore.

“Jungkook, please.” You cried, pulling him close. You didn’t expect him to kiss you, but you relished in the sensation, enjoying the way his lips felt against yours. Even in that moment, you couldn’t stop focusing on how wet his cheeks were and the feeling of more tears trickling down onto you.

You wanted him to be ok.

Jungkook groaned into the kiss, pulling away slightly; he sped up his pace, enjoying the slick sounds of his fingers moving inside you and your pleading reaction way too much.

You cried and moaned so easily for him, like you both weren’t in his office right now, like you weren’t getting fingerfucked on his desk. It was dirty, and he hated how much he loved this.

“Does this feel good?” His raspy whisper right into your ear just made it all worse.

And it was all too much, he wanted to be inside you so badly, and he knew that if he waited any longer, he wouldn’t make it. 

“Yes, yes— fuck, yes!” You answered, clinging onto him just a little tighter.

He was already so close. Pathetic, so fucking pathetic.

As much as he didn’t want to, Jungkook finally found the strength to pull his fingers out of you. What he would have given to see you fall apart on his fingers, but not when he felt like he was seconds away from combusting. He had to hurry this up.

You whined at how empty you felt all of a sudden and were about to question it, maybe even scream because you were getting so close, but the moment of clarity let you feel his shaky hand on your thigh as he sank to his knees.

You looked at him confused as to what he was doing, but it didn’t take long for you to get the picture as he started spreading your thighs once again.

You pulled on his hair lightly, making him look up at you with his big, bright, bewildered, round eyes. You felt your body light a blaze at the sight, so innocent in such a dirty position.

“No time. Want you inside me.” It was blunt, but the moment didn’t allow for anything more. 

What you didn’t expect was for him to still seem confused. 

“You— you don’t need me to—“ His voice was just as shaky as his hands were. He genuinely seemed confused.

“Just fuck me, please.” You whined, your hand coming down to rest under his chin. His eyes were red and watery, and you just hated it. You’d do anything to see him better.

Jungkook steadily rose to his feet once again, but that brief moment of pause was short-lived, as he was on you in a haste, lips on lips, needing, chasing, he had to feel you.

Jungkook had been so worried, so worried he’d disappoint you, he’d nearly burst into tears when he got on his knees knowing he couldn’t eat you out without making a mistake. Then you said it, just like Yuri did after she came back from that New Year’s party. You wanted him, needing him to make you feel good. “Just fuck me, please.” He’d never forget it, to the point it was replaying in his head even now, as he tried his best to make that one thing happen.

He just had to last a little longer. 

Jungkook scrambled, trying to feel you, kiss you, and get his belt loose. It was all too much, why he ever decided to wear belts in the first place was beyond him at the moment. So little was in the way, he had your permission, and all that stood in between what he wanted were a few thin layers of fabric.

He desperately rubbed himself against you, needing the friction as he kissed you, fuck, why wasn’t he inside you yet?!

Then your hands eagerly raked across his back, trying to pull him close. Yuri had never done that to him, and it was too much, too much when he’s not inside you yet. Jungkook tried again to get his belt off, but he couldn’t think anymore and was growing more desperate by the second, your hands, fuck he was so close. 

Tears spilled out of his eyes, so worried he was about to embarrass himself when he was so close, but then you swooped in to save the day.

You broke the kiss when you noticed he was struggling a bit, and decided to help.  

He looked so pretty like this, the moonlight highlighting all of his delicate features, his eyes sparkling so sadly in the light. He looked sad, so sad that if you made one wrong move, he’d burst into tears. What could possibly be making him feel this way?

Your hands ran up his back, over his shoulders, and down to the buttons of his shirt. You didn’t miss the way he shivered, his eyes fluttered closed, and his grip on your thigh grew tighter as you went past his neck. 

Your hands were a little shaky, but you managed to undo them all. As more was revealed, you hadn’t even considered the possibility of Jungkook being absolutely built. You had a feeling he worked out, but the sight of his firm chest, then his defined abs was one shock after another. 

It was bad how much you needed him.

It was lucky you were so distracted that you entirely missed how red Jungkook’s face had become under your gaze. He was scared, scared of you seeing him like this and thinking he was just as pathetic as Yuri says. What if you hated—

With his shirt undone, you slowly ran your hands over his warm skin, covered in a thin layer of sweat. Down his nape, chest, abs, and then eventually settling on his belt. 

Jungkook tried his best not to rut into you like some animal, but he had never been touched like this before, and he feared he was seconds away from exploding because of how good it felt. 

Taking him out of his spiraling thoughts, you hurriedly tugged on his belt, finally getting it undone so you could unfasten his pants.

His eyes were watery once again, feeling your hands graze past the prominent outline in his slacks. 

“P-Please!” He cried because it hurt so much, and he just wanted to feel you. His voice was hoarse, sounding more like a pained sob than anything coherent, but he needed anything at this point. 

“Don’t worry, I got you.” You whispered right in his ear as you finally freed his aching length. 

Jungkook didn’t know what he was expecting, just enough help so he could finally push himself inside you, but then you didn’t let go. It didn’t fully register until you stared directly into his watery eyes and started dragging your hand slowly up his length. Jungkook could have screamed, he really wanted to, and would have if his voice wasn’t so hoarse. Maybe he was and he didn’t even realize it.

As you reached the tip, you focused all your attention on massaging the head, wanting to get a reaction out of him. You were pleasantly surprised as your thumb ran over the tip, the amount of pre-cum that seemed to just leak onto your fingers…

“Oh god.” He groaned, his voice was so shaky as he writhed in your grasp. He quickly had to shut his eyes, the pleasure was too much.

“Does this feel good?” Your voice was gentle once again, and Jungkook felt like he was moments away from blowing it. A strangled moan he couldn’t hold back left his lips.  

He couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening. Your hand was…? You were touching him? It was strange, horrible even, that for a moment he thought about Yuri, back in April when he practically begged her to touch him, just like this. He had begged her, but with you, he didn’t even need to ask. 

It was awful, so fucking horrific, but your hand was too much to handle as you went from running your fingers over the tip to steadily pumping his cock. Jungkook immediately knew he should have said something; each glide of your hand sent him closer to an edge he was practically hanging off of already, but fuck. This was pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

Jungkook whined as he buried himself into your shoulder and pushed you further into the desk. It was on the tip of his tongue to say something, to stop you. It would have been so easy. He knew deep down he didn’t want to. He moaned as he subtly rocked his hips into your grasp, he thought of this morning, how easily Yuri stopped, and the thought of having that taken away again.

He should have said something, he didn’t need to see your face to know you weren’t expecting this to go as far as it did. 

You’d only wanted to tease him a little before he finally filled you up, but maybe you should have realized how close he was. You certainly weren’t expecting his hoarse moans to grow louder and pained. 

His grip on your thighs quickly tightened, and suddenly, with a very pained cry, you felt wetness across your fingers. 

A colossal wave of pleasure hit him all at once with a strangled cry, a feeling he hadn’t felt after nearly a year. It was more than ecstasy, a high he never wanted to end, the most he’d felt in months. For a second, his life wasn’t a mess. He was happy, and everything was fine. It was overwhelming, and his knees nearly gave out entirely as you started gently pumping his length to help work his way through his high. 

It was a terrible mix of the pleasure he’d craved for months, and the guilt of being the failure he knew he was. Months of waiting, and he couldn’t at least make it inside you. It was embarrassing, pathetic, and not to mention as the ropes continued to come with each flick of your wrist, deep down he knew he truly had made a loathsome mistake because it just wouldn’t stop.

But it felt so good, it seemed never ending as each glide from your hand brought more euphoria than his brain ever thought was possible to experience. Yet the searing guilt that simmered behind the pleasure made his mangled moans turn into sobs. He was bawling in your arms, his tears soaking the fabric of your shirt. 

Your free hand gently rubbed his back to try and soothe him. He was shaking.

“I—I’m so sorry— so sorry.” Jungkook choked out. He clung to you a little tighter and buried himself further into your neck. He didn’t want to see the disappointed look on your face, he wouldn’t be able to bare it—

“Jungkook, it’s ok…” You tried to comfort him, feeling yourself getting a little emotional.

Your reassurance meant nothing, if anything it just made him more upset; he hated pity. This was a mistake, he was so disappointing, that’s all he ever did was make people disappointed. 

You seemed to notice your words didn’t do anything, so you pulled him out of your neck so he could look at you.

But instead of meeting your eyes, he immediately moved far back enough to see the scene of the crime. You were practically covered in his cum, your hand that had been grasping his length was coated in it, and your shirt and skirt were ruined with his mess. Ten months of shame and he’d covered you in it. 

Jungkook’s face burned at the sight.

His gaze finally pulled away to look into your eyes. Even in the darkness, you could see how wet and red his face was, but the tears never stopped as the guilt and embarrassment continued to take over him.

“I’m sorry— I didn’t—“ He tried to feign, but he was lying right through his teeth. He could have told you to stop sooner, but he didn’t want to; he had just been so close. 

Your sympathetic eyes just made things worse as you continued to look at him. 

“I wanted to—“ He wanted to fuck you, that much was true. As nice as your hand felt, he wanted more, so much more. To think he could have been buried deep inside you if he hadn't given in so quickly. 

“Jungkook, it’s ok, don’t worry about it.” You tried to reassure him, but with the haze of his orgasm fading, reality began to hit him at full force. 

He ruined your clothes, and he literally came all over you like a fucking teenager. How much more embarrassing could he be?!

“I can replace them if you want.” He sniffled out, but he felr like could barely understand him through his sobs. 

“It’s ok, I’m serious.” Your slight smile gave him more sympathy than he deserved. 

You turned around and noticed the tissue box beside you. You let him go, making a slight whine escape his lips as you did so, and you grabbed a tissue to start cleaning yourself up. 

…

To make matters worse, if he couldn’t get any more despicable, the lack of contact made a horrible realization dawn upon him. 

He still wanted more. Instead of the guilt from his actions, the burn raged on, a little tamer this time, but it was still there sizzling, waiting to erupt once again at any moment.

You finally looked up, noticing his apologies had become too quiet and his hands had begun to steadily run over your waist again. You hoped this meant Jungkook realized everything was alright and that there were no hard feelings, but you were a little shocked to see his dazed gaze staring directly down at your opened-up shirt that had your black bra still exposed. 

There was a hunger in his eyes you recognized from earlier. Hmmmm…

You put the tissue down before you wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him close. You were delighted at the sound of his gasp as he was tugged flush against your chest. You kissed his neck, before you moved back up to trail kisses along his jaw up to his ear. His grip on your thigh grew tighter with each move you made.

“Did you want to keep going?” Your voice was soft as you felt him shiver in your grasp.

“We—we don’t have to!” His voice was a lot louder than yours, like he was trying to defend himself from being led into a trap, but you felt his grip tighten around your waist.

The number of times he’d begged Yuri for a second chance anytime he came too quickly, he couldn’t believe this was real. This had to be a trap, you were trying to embarrass him, weren’t you? You wanted to ruin him. 

“You think you’re up for it?” You asked once again, your tone dropping to an octave that made his whole body shiver. 

If only you knew he could keep it up the whole night. Jungkook couldn’t say anything, he almost didn’t want to; at any moment, he thought you would take it back.

“You don’t know what you’re doing…” He whispered, lightly rubbing his cheek against yours. You were unlocking a part of himself he was scared to face. He didn’t think he could come back from this.

“I do… don’t worry.” Your tone was low as your teeth grazed across his ear. A moan fell from his lips before he could stop it. He felt like an animal as his mind thought about all the things he wanted to do to you. Instead of the degradation he’d expect from Yuri, his silence was rewarded with you wrapping your hand around his semi-hard length and pumping him once again ever so gently, careful not to overstimulate him too much. 

Jungkook could have screamed; his voice was too hoarse, but a guttural moan escaped his lips before he could even realize it. He couldn’t believe it; he had to be dreaming. But dream or not, that didn’t stop his softening length from beginning to grow hard once again in your grasp. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you.

“Please…” It was a sad, desperate plea. He just had to feel you once tonight.

This time, you didn’t hesitate to spread your legs for him, using one hand to pull your panties to the side and the other to rub him through your folds. You were absolutely soaked. A whine fell from both your lips as Jungkook resisted every urge to fuck into you. 

He could probably cum just from this again if you kept this up.

You didn’t tease him for long, seeing his expression growing increasingly impatient. You couldn’t wait any longer either, as you took it upon yourself to guide his tip to your dripping hole. 

You sighed in relief as Jungkook finally took control and slowly sank himself further into you. The more you took, the more you could have screamed, the fit filling you up in all the right places.

How much you wanted him to just destroy you…

Jungkook wanted to do just that, but the sweet sting of overstimulation made his worked-up length that much more sensitive to a sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time. His eyes stung from the tears, and he felt drunk off the warmth of your walls wrapping around him, almost pleading to milk him of anything he had left. 

Too fast, and he knew you’d do just that.

He waited, as much as his body didn’t want to, but he wanted to try and make things right this time. He wanted to make you feel good too.

Soft sighs of pleasure escaped you, but you still tried to focus your mouth on his neck— gently sucking on a spot where he quickly found out was surprisingly sensitive. 

“Fuck…” He groaned. This was all new to him, and he wanted more.

“Y/n… can I move?” Jungkook rushed out. He felt like he was seconds away from losing his mind.

“Please…” You begged, just as desperate. 

Your plea was all he needed for him to slowly pull his hips out before shakily pushing back in. An embarrassing series of whines left his mouth in the process, not at all thinking about how loud he was anymore.

Tears spilled out of his eyes as the slick sounds started to fill his office. It was overwhelming in the best way possible. This was worse than his first time, he felt like a virgin all over again as he moved through your sopping heat, he wasn’t going to last long at all. 

Jungkook immediately had to focus on not cumming again, feeling the edge approaching so quickly, but he had to make you feel good this time.

His pace was a little awkward at first; he was too eager at times to feel you, making him fumble his rhythm, but he was quick at getting back in the groove of things. 

“Jungkook—“ You moaned out, your legs wrapping around his waist so he wouldn’t go far. You just needed him close, as close as he could get.

Fuck, how long has it been? Were you really this desperate? 

You clung onto him tightly, hearing his pretty whines with each glide of his hips. 

If you thought about it too much right now, you might come back down to the reality of the consequences of your actions. Weren’t you both about to leave just moments ago? But you didn’t think about it, you honestly couldn’t think about it as his cock glided past that spot that made you see stars. 

Fuck.

You both reveled in the pornographic sounds of skin slapping against skin and the subtle sounds of the creaking of his desk anytime he’d push inside you. Random objects would get knocked off occasionally as he pushed you further onto the desk, but neither of you cared, too focused on chasing a high that was quickly approaching.

Your hand ran through his hair, tugging at the strands in desperation, while the other was down his back, your manicured nails dragging across the white fabric that you knew would probably leave a mark. 

Your moans nearly drowned out his own,, but you both seemingly didn’t care about the fact that you were in public. 

Jungkook’s mind was filled with nothing but white-hot need, your hands on his body, it had never been like this, it had never felt like this. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself except fuck into you as quickly as his body would let him, any second spent apart was too long, needing to stay buried in your warmth.

You were fucking touching him— someone— touch— fuck.

“C-c-close!” Jungkook rushed out suddenly. He hurriedly wrapped his arm around your back and lifted your thigh so he could fuck into you even deeper. He just couldn’t get enough. Why did this feel so good?!

Jungkook wanted to delay it as much as he could so you would feel good too, but then your lips were on his neck and suddenly he had no self-control.

Still so sensitive from his last orgasm, fresh tears spilled from his eyes as he felt himself speeding toward the edge.

“Can I—“ He wanted to ask for permission, but at this point, he feared a no wouldn’t even be enough. 

“It’s okay… let go for me.” Your voice, always so sweet as you focused on running your fingers through his hair. It felt so good, so good that he wanted to cry right there in your arms. He could have, if that feeling hadn’t finally spilled over into another embarrassing whine.

“I’m sorry— so sorry, sorry, I’m—“

His rhythm turned frantic, then got sloppy, chasing, and chasing, till he buried his face in your shoulder as he came again, ropes and ropes of cum filling you up. It was hard to believe he came just minutes ago.

He sounded like he was crying again, maybe he was, but the pleasure overtook any realization of his surroundings. Jungkook’s moans turned silent, his voice too hoarse for anything louder. He wanted to scream, just wave after wave of pleasure hit him as he steadily thrusted into you. You were so nice, you always were, as you gently kissed his neck and rubbed his back.

You knew he needed it, you could feel the tears across your neck and the way he lightly shook in your arms. 

It had never been that intense before; a full minute passed and he was still getting hit with the shakes as another wave would hit. 

It was so good, so good, but he wasn’t satisfied just yet. 

Jungkook eventually found the strength to pull himself slightly away from your shoulder. Your kind eyes looked at him with so much concern, that he hardly gave you any time to process before he was kissing you again. It was a slow, sensual kiss, and his hand came up to cup your cheek so that he could have you just a little closer. A brief moment of calm, a second to settle your beating hearts.

It was at that moment, without you noticing, Jungkook slid his hand in between your bodies. You didn’t realize it until you felt his fingers on your clit, earning an immediate gasp out of you. Jungkook hummed lightly before kissing down your neck. 

You were so sensitive and so close already… 

“Cum for me…” Jungkook whispered across your skin. 

You will, you wanted to so badly.

“Jungkook—“

His fingers quickly picked up the pace, and you cried out for him. Jungkook could feel you tightening around his cock, spent, but greedy for more, as he started slowly thrusting into you once more. 

He groaned. You felt so good— it just didn’t make sense.

This was about you though, and he had to make you feel just as good as you had made him. Jungkook relished in the way you clung onto him as your orgasm grew nearer. You were so close, he could feel it. 

His fingers were skilled, so skilled you hardly had time to process before you came face to face with the edge you craved more than anything at that moment. 

“Please— please, fuck, fuck, please!” You cried, and Jungkook nearly did too at how tightly you were squeezing him. Overstimulation, two orgasms, and the pain mixed with pleasure, had him speeding to his third. But this was all about you, and he pulled away to watch your expression as you fell apart.

Jungkook almost didn’t feel worthy as he watched your eyes roll back, and your moans and pleas turned into one big sigh of relief as your orgasm washed over you. You gripped him hard, and you had him crying out with you, cumming for the third time today.

It probably was a little over a minute since his last one, and he didn’t have much to give, but you made sure to milk him of everything he had left, and he loved it.

You, this, everything, it was so good. 

Jungkook, through the haziness of it all, helped you both through it, his hips steadily rocking into you, and his fingers still at work until you whined at the overstimulation.

Jungkook quickly pulled you in for another kiss. It was lazy, you both were exhausted at this point, but Jungkook craved the affection more than ever as the rush, the heat, burn, and desire started to settle down. All that was left in its wake was the startling realization of what you both had just done. 

The wetness began to pool in between you, his body ached, the guilt was beginning to wash over him, and the treacherous reality he ran from was back.

As much as he didn’t want to, Jungkook eventually found the strength to pull out of you. It hurt physically speaking, but it was even worse mentally. He didn’t want to leave, not with how warm and wet you were around him. It took everything in him to slowly but surely leave your warm embrace, a pained whine falling from his lips, before he took a step back. 

Your hooded eyes stared at him as you breathed heavily. He was probably doing the same, but he could hardly pay attention as he stared at his mess: 

Your lipstick was heavily smeared, your hair disheveled, your legs still spread with your skirt bunched up around your waist, your stockings had runs all over them, and your panties he’d pulled to the side were back in place but soaked with a mix of both of your juices.

Jungkook wanted to feel ashamed; he should, he had ruined you, but your fucked out expression only made a startling realization come over him. He liked seeing you like this, and it made the flame that had started to quell, spark once again.

This wasn’t right. None of this was right. 

Jungkook should feel guilty right now. Not only had he ruined his marriage, you were also now caught up in his mess. Instead, all that resided as you both calmed down, was a startling numbness. 

He should feel guilty, but it was so fucking horrible how much he enjoyed it. This was a relief Jungkook had never known could come from sex. He was spent, exhausted, yet craved more all at the same time. 

But he really did feel bad, seeing you like this, and Yuri… however, that’s not what his mind could focus on. As horrible as it was, he felt… good.

Jungkook gently helped you off his desk. Your knees were a little wobbly, but he held onto you tightly as he guided you over to the couch. 

You silently thanked him and watched as he went to grab your coat and shoes, which had dropped to the floor during the commotion. As soon as he handed it to you, he then kindly went over to pack up your laptop for you and grab the bottle of wine.

It was sweet, too sweet almost, considering what the fuck just happened.

You and Jungkook… you and Jungkook?

This was the same Jungkook you hated until about a month ago. This was the same Jungkook who had made your life at work hell for nearly two years. This was the same Jungkook that was married. 

You started to put on your stuff, Jungkook picked up all things that had fallen off his desk, before he had his own coat and scarf in hand, and he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. You were quickly reminded how you found yourself in this situation as he practically collapsed. A pained sigh left his lips and his hands were tangled in his hair once again. 

You quickly scooted over. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!” Jungkook cried, his sad eyes only looking at you for a second before his hair was in the way again. 

This… this is precisely why. Something about the look in his eyes, the pain in his voice, it was too much, and you wanted to do anything to fix that. 

You let your arm wrap around him. “You want to talk about it?” Your voice, soft and gentle as always. 

Jungkook didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly do at this point? It was really hitting him. He had done it, he truly had lost it.

His panic started getting to you as well, and you were realizing the mess you had just got yourself into. As concerned as you felt for Jungkook, you now were involved in an affair. His wife’s pictures that sat around his office felt like they were bearing into you, judging you for sleeping with her husband. How could you? Not only that, but this happened with your boss, at your job, who was fucking married.

The reason this happened in the first place was unknown, but what justification could there be for both of you? 

Jungkook tried his best to pull himself together as you both got up to begin your journey downstairs, but how could he go home now?

You both made a quick stop to the bathroom to clean yourselves up. 

You could hardly believe the sight you saw in the mirror. You finally saw the glorious mess Jungkook had made of you, your cheeks warmed at the sight the fluorescent lights granted you. You were a mess…

You tried to quickly cover up the evidence of your misdeed. You wiped your shirt and skirt so the stains wouldn’t be so noticeable, and with the brush you kept in your purse, you tried to smooth your hair down and style it so that it covered the marks across your neck. You then tried to make your clothes sit the way they did before you walked into his office earlier, tucking your top in and smoothing out your skirt.

You wiped down your face, and with a quick reapplication of your makeup, you were as good as new again— well, as new as you needed to be at nearly 1:30 in the morning.

Despite having more to do, you were left waiting outside the bathrooms on Jungkook for a little while. 

He’d walked in and the sight he saw in the mirror was equally as alluring as it was horrendous. His face was red and puffy, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. But the way your lipstick covered his face… his lips were smeared with it, just like yours had been. It was all over his cheeks, even his neck had red stains, and seeing that had him feeling funny all over again.

Jungkook was ashamed that he looked past it all, and enjoyed the way your lipstick painted his skin.

He nearly had another breakdown at the realization, and he had to give himself a pep talk to come out of the bathroom and face you again. His thoughts were quickly spiraling, and he felt himself getting jittery again. It was the same way he felt in Dr. Min’s office, the same way that would plague him occasionally, and he was stuck alone for hours trying to get himself together to face the world again. He probably would have collapsed and locked himself in the bathroom if you weren’t waiting on him.

He likely came out looking worse than he did coming in. Your lipstick was gone, but he had been stuck inside trying to wipe the tears that just wouldn’t stop falling from his eyes.

Eventually, you both made your way to the elevators.

Jungkook had offered to drive you home considering how late it was. You probably would have said no considering the situation, but you didn’t really think about how you would get home beforehand. You honestly didn’t think you’d be here this long, but you also knew Taehyung would have no issue coming to pick you up. 

He lived close by, and he’d been there many times before when the buses and subways were closed. Even at the oddest times of night, he always knew when you were out and would be there to get you. You would have called him, but considering you looked like a mess, surely Taehyung was bound to ask questions about what happened during your evening with the boss. That was the last thing you needed, keeping as few people involved as possible was the better option. Plus, he had spent the night partying, and you doubted if he was available or even sober enough to drive you.

Jungkook it was then.

Things were noticeably awkward between you two. As you both waited for the elevator, a notable distance separated you two, and a painful silence settled in the air.

“You never answered my question earlier…” Things felt different now. The further you walked from the sanctuary of his office, the more real it became. You honestly wanted nothing more than to get away from him.

The elevator dinged before the doors opened. You both stepped inside and Jungkook hit the button down to the garage. 

What could he say?

“What excuse could I give?” Jungkook sounded distraught and you started feeling bad once again. 

“I mean… I don’t mean to impose, but considering what happened… you just don’t seem fine.” You spoke sincerely, not wanting to beat around the bush.

Jungkook leaned against the elevator wall, and with the lights shining down on his face, you could clearly see the wetness staining his cheeks. 

There was a moment of silence as your statement lingered in the air, but eventually Jungkook worked up the courage to say something, anything really, he owed you that much at least. 

“It's an arranged marriage.” Jungkook's voice was still hoarse, and a tear rolled down his cheek as the words left his mouth. He really hated telling people.

You were visibly shocked at this, eyes widening as his words processed in your mind. You thought it was weird he was married, but you didn’t think arranged marriages happened anymore, especially here. Even if they did, that didn’t matter, he was still so young. 

“It’s been hard over the years… really, really hard, but that doesn’t excuse anything.” Jungkook was vague, however it was still something. 

As you both stepped out of the elevator, into the short hallway, and out the parking garage, Jungkook offered once again to get your clothes professionally cleaned or replaced if that’s what you preferred, when he still noticed the stain on your skirt under the light. 

You thanked him, but you didn’t want to be indebted to him. Instead, you said you’d handle it yourself.

Plus, now you can call it even.

It was awkward again as he pushed open the door and you both walked to his car. It was one of the only ones down here, but who else would own a Mercedes?

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t… I’m sorry…” Jungkook was lying through his teeth. He wished he wasn’t, but as bad as he felt, no one had ever made him feel that good before.

“Look.” You stopped in your tracks, making him stop with you.

“You obviously seem to be going through a lot, I get that. But Jungkook, I don't want to be involved in this.” You were serious as you spoke. 

“That’s your business. Tonight did not happen. Tomorrow we’ll come into work like none of this happened. You won’t ever need to worry about me telling anyone. This was a fluke, a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened. I trust you’ll do the same. That’s as simple as it needs to be.” You seemed mad, and as much as you were right, Jungkook couldn’t stop the way his chest tightened at your words.

A fluke, a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened. It hurt so much for some reason, but you were right in the end.

Jungkook just nodded, knowing he would have a breakdown if he tried to say anything. But what could he say anyway? You were right.

You both steadily made it to his car, a sleek, black, 2022 Mercedes AMG GT 53 4-door Coupe. This was his personal car, not the fancy SUV his driver would always take him around in, but whenever Jungkook worked late nights like this, he’d normally drive himself to work and give Dae-Jung the day off.

You tried not to show how impressed you were as you got in. It really was a nice car with the pretty LED lights dimly illuminating the matching black interior. Then the sound it made as he started it up, and with one hand on the wheel, he pulled out of the underground garage…

If things were different, this definitely would have easily made you fold— a good looking guy driving a sexy car was a thing you knew you had, but this was a married man who you just had an affair with.

Now was certainly not the time.

The ride was silent, aside from when Jungkook asked for your apartment’s address. What else was there to say really?

You were mad. You wanted to put all the blame on Jungkook for getting you involved with this mess, but it takes two to tango as they say. You never stopped him when he pulled you close and you didn’t want to. You were just as mad at him as you were at yourself.

You knew he was married, yet you kept going, you wanted more, and relished when he finally filled you up. And his eyes, he seemed so sad, you wanted to do anything to make him feel better. 

As Jungkook drove you home, a new look seemed to settle behind his gaze. Before he seemed like he was constantly at the point of breaking, but now it was nothingness, lifelessness, a void contained in his dark orbs. 

Were you too harsh earlier? That’s the way it had to be though, this had to be a mistake you would never acknowledge at any point going forward. But maybe there was a better way to say it. Something clearly wasn’t right, and you were still concerned at the end of the day.

The late hour offered minimal traffic so you were pulling up to your apartment building just a little over twenty minutes later.

You were quick to grab your stuff and push open the door to get out, but not without a glance at the man beside you whose hair almost entirely shielded his gaze. His hands on the steering wheel were tight and he never once looked at you. 

“Jungkook…” That gentle tone was back and he finally looked at you.

He seemed dazed almost. 

“You should probably talk to someone. You seem to be going through a lot, and even though you were vague with me, someone out there will listen to you. Not going to lie, I’m a little worried… you remind me so much of a friend who went through a lot and… It might really help talking to a professional.” You held that same look of concern you had right before he kissed you.

It was so bad, he wanted to do it again.

Jungkook felt his cheeks warm at the thought, remembering how it felt to have your lips against his.

He weakly tried to laugh it off. “You aren’t the first person who’s said that.” 

“You might really benefit from it. I suggest trying it out.” 

Jungkook nodded. The last time he attempted therapy it didn’t go so well, but then again, he had only gone twice. 

You gave him a weak smile before you swung your bag over your shoulder and started walking toward the entrance. Jungkook stayed until he made sure you made it inside, and then he was driving off. 

His head was empty as he drove down the road, no tears, no pain, no anything. Instead, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier, it had never felt like that before, not once had it felt like that before.

Your hands, your lips, your body, your our skirt bunched up around your waist, your thigh-highs, that lacy black bra you had on underneath, your smeared lipstick. It replayed in his head over and over again. By the time Jungkook made it home it was going on three. He was tired, his body ached, his mind spent, but there was only one thing he could focus on as he punched in the code to the door. 

He wasn’t entirely surprised when he opened the door to find the apartment, dark, empty, and he was alone, like always. Yuri had texted him right before you walked in his office that the shoot was in fact running long and she wouldn’t be home until early in the morning. It was almost a relief that she wasn’t here. He didn’t know what he would have done if she was, but the silence was painful. Silence let his mind wander off too much, and in the silence the realization of his actions hit him once again. 

Jungkook’s eyes started to blur as he looked at the pictures that were sprinkled around the apartment of the two of them. He felt terrible, but not like how he should have.

This was actually his worst nightmare, he had turned his marriage from one that could have posed as real as any other, into that fake shit his parents put up with. Jungkook had turned into the person he detested the most, and there was nothing he could do to come back from it. He should feel terrible, so fucking terrible. He should prepare to get on his knees and beg for Yuri’s forgiveness, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had been such a terrible husband over the years and the one thing he thought he’d never betray was the fact he was faithful and he’d always try his best to make their relationship work.

What now? Had he just given up? Jungkook wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to do worse, he wanted to make it hurt, but instead, he just sank down against the door.

All he could think about was you and how good it felt. Was it just because he was so sensitive? It really had been so long, but it had never been like that before. Never, not even in the memory he held so closely— Yuri and him in the hot tub at the Maldives. It had never felt like that.

Jungkook should feel guilty, and he did, but only because he didn’t feel bad. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, your hands, your lips, you, you, you.

Despite the fiasco in his office, the ride over with him and his stupid fucking mind that wouldn’t shut up, had his cock aching all over again. He was hard, and he wished so much you would have invited him upstairs so he could have stayed in your arms all night long. He would have said yes if you offered.

He wanted you so badly, but this wasn’t right. 

Jungkook wanted to fix this, he easily could have, the memories were vivid and he so badly wanted to feel good again. But the tears finally fell on his cheeks when he remembered Yuri and how disappointed she would be. He couldn't do that, he couldn't, he fucking couldn’t.

He was a disappointment, Yuri was right about everything. He was pathetic, his life couldn’t get any worse.

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[popponn]

(some) bllk boys as cuddling partner — a rating list.

bachira — best cuddler/10. big spoon? he loves hugging you! little spoon? he loves being hugged by you! embracing each other, lying side by side while the two of you share whispers and quiet giggles? baby, he could do that all day. if he could, this guy would probably hold your hand or hug you all the time while dribbling a soccer ball. be thankful that's physically impossible because if it isn't nothing stops this bee from doing what he loves. honestly, the champion in this department. go home everyone. when he feels happy it's hug time when he is sad it's also hug time.

rin — if you guys just started out, 2/10. 1 point bonus because he is so stiff it's funny—the best deal you can get is him being a big spoon while sitting and doing something else. if he is focused on just cuddling you it will forgo being awkward to straight up comedic. but once he gets used to it, 7/10. his pride won't let him small spoon but he is a good big spoon. very relaxed around you, hand around your hips, head perched on your shoulder, and so on. the worst part of this is not even bad since it's just him getting the clingier, touch-starved part of him out so yeah. at least have 3 hours reserved for cuddles.

isagi — 10/10 no bias except this one is self-aware. 3/10 when starting out and that's like a bonus point for effort. when it's a short casual hug, it's easy and sweet for him. then put in private space, his shyness that wow turns out is still kinda there when it comes to you, and prolonged hug that becomes his main focus for an extended period then you get a statue instead of a bf. but get him comfy and it's instant 8/10 — is way too insistent and determined on "he needs to see your face :((" sometimes because yes he is accomodating 101 but this is egoist. but very clingy, very soft, very warm, very cuddly, very bf.

sae — when he is napping? you are his hug pillow. but even that is 6/10 because his hold on you is ironclad. and as his hug mostly comes in the form of a backhug—because cool fridge guy thing probably—he is trained to make you comfy. but yeah no escaping this guy. when he is awake though, getting him to cuddle or reciprocate your hug (in public, especially) is already a miracle. when you do though, 4/10 because at least he won't throw you like he will do to everyone else. just accept his fate as your doll. while sighing or flatly glare at anyone who dares to comment.

nagi — the runner-up!!! simply because that's like his natural habitat there. 9/10, minus 1 point because on lazy days, if he doesn't get his cuddle he will whine and become annoying. grubby hand is cute, a giant creature made of muscle putting all of his weight on your back while you try to move around doing your business is not. but other than that, really good as both a little spoon and big spoon. just hold him or let him hold you. he likes you enough that there is 50/50 chance of him completely forgetting his game to cuddle you how downbad is that.

[reverieblondie]

Slight angst in this one (for each/any of the tiefling bachelors—plus Raphael and/or Gortash if you want—who is crushing on and/or infatuated with Tav): Tav surprising him with a searing kiss then whispering to him, "In case I never get to see you again" before running into battle and disappearing from sight in the fray (maybe it's the final battle of the game or something else, your choice), knowing he/she/they might not make it out alive.

Hey Anon! Thank you for the ask! So for the first bullet point i made it kinda angsty, But I can't do a sad ending so the second bullet point is a sweet end! Hope you enjoy!

Zevlor

He doesn’t know why he did it…but before you can run off to the netherbrain, Zevlor reaches out to capture your hand in his.  There are a thousand things he wants to tell you as he looks into your bright eyes. There is just no time he knows this. You know this… But despite everything crumbling around you two, despite knowing you’re the only one who can save this city, he’s not ready to let go of your hand. The fear of this being the last time he will see you is too much. His eyes are a silent plea to you; you want to promise, but you both know you can’t. You crash yourself into his armored body, trying not to slip the tears aching in your eyes. You want one more night in his warmth and hearing his calming whispers… Leaning up to capture his full lips into a kiss, Allowing yourself to relish in his warmth that has eased you only a night before… gods, you don’t want to leave him… you want to stay… you want to tell him how scared you are… Breaking the kiss, you run your hands over his cheeks, “In case I never get to see you again… just know I love you, Zevlor.” Zevlor finally breaks free from his thoughts, “I love you too.” with a final tight hug, you slip out of his arms, and he watches as you leave with your companions. Zevlor takes a moment to pray… the gods have not always been good to him… but please let them bring you back to him. Zevlor hears screams to the right, and he runs to help with you still on his mind. 

His chest burns from all the running, his muscles screaming in agony as he swings down on the illithods, cutting down the foul creatures. Zevlor saw the crash in the sea… please be okay; please be there… Zevlor could have made it there by now, but he couldn’t bring himself to run past the helpless civilians still under attack. Once the illithiod is down, he doesn’t even register the thanks he receives as he sprints to where he hopes you are. That’s when he sees you… bloody and clutching your side, looking around frantically till your eyes meet his. Zevlor throws down his sword to catch your limping form. You’re falling to your knees together as soon as you two collide. Zevlor is trying to get your armor off to heal you, but he can’t get the words out as you keep kissing his lips.

Rolan

Rolan is frantically pacing around, gathering spell scrolls and any healing potion he can find. Rounding the corner, there you are, calmly talking to your companions about your battle plans. Your eyes are fierce and determined… the eyes of a true leader… Your voice is calm and collected as it’s always been; as Rolan watches you, he thinks back on all you have done, and all the more you could do…there is just no one else like you. Rolan furrows his brows… why did he never tell you that… there is no one he will ever meet with your heroic soul, your addictive laugh, or your kind heart… As he watches you, he thinks about all the words he wanted to say… Could he tell you now? Should he confess his feelings to you, or would that seem cheap… You and your party start packing to leave, and Rolan runs up to you, handing over everything he could find. You look at the sheer amount of it all and let out a slight laugh, “Wow, Rolan, you must really like me.” of course, only you would find a way to still laugh and tease in a situation like this. Rolan looks at you, and you feel your heart stop. “Tav… I have so much to tell you… feelings that have stirred in me from the moment we met…” it’s then that Rolan grabs you in a sudden hug, his breath shuddering as he holds you close… “Please come back so I can properly confess to you…” You can only manage a soft chuckle as you hold him back tighter… he has the worst timing. Pulling back from him, you quickly kiss his lips before he can say more. The kiss is passionate and hungry. You dig your nails into his back as you feel his claws in your hair, as you finally get to taste him. Pulling away to rest your forehead on his, you two take a second to catch your breaths, “Rolan…I-I can’t promise I will come back…but I will try… but in case I never see you again… I like you a lot, too.” Rolan’s chest aches as he tries not to sob; with one more quick kiss, he watches his hero leave… hoping that you can return to him like you have so many times before…

He couldn’t let his worried thoughts get the better of him right now. Cal and Lia are shuffling in the hurt, and Rolan is trying to help the clerics as much as possible. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hear their muttering of the explosion of the brain… of how many are lost now. Rolan tries to keep the aching in as he bites back his tears… Tav has done so much; they can’t be gone…they can’t… Rolans unsure when he stopped moving or when he started to cry. It wasn’t until Cal came to his side to check on him that he felt the tears dropping from his cheeks. Cal tries to get Rolan to the back of the shop to console him, but then he pauses and looks to the front door it awe. Then Rolan feels the crashing of a familiar embrace; he whips around quickly to see your smiling face holding on tightly to him. You’re dirty and beaten but alive… You look up at him and wipe away his tears, still with that kind smile, “worried about me?” Rolan wants to laugh, wants to cry, wants to kiss you endlessly, “of course I was worried! I thought you exploded! Or Or-” You lean into his perfect lips, silencing him with a kiss, feeling his wet cheeks that makes you tear up. Rolan breaks away from you, his golden eyes staring into yours, calmer now, “I thought I lost you…” you shake your head and lean into his chest, letting him hold you tight. "I'm yours Rolan..." 

Raphael

It’s silent in the room; Raphael knows that you know he’s here watching you. Raphael’s umber eyes slowly roll over you, from your beat-up old boots up your armored legs and back, then pausing to your hair. How though the rest of you is so worn down, your hair is still shiny and as enticing as ever... Raphael wants to approach you and run his fingers through your hair, to stop you from going, and drag you off to his home; before he realizes, he’s right behind you, somehow holding off from reaching out towards you. Trying so hard to keep that desire down. You’re trying to save yourself; you’re going to retrieve the crown for him, and the possibility of you not returning alive is greater than he cares to think about. Raphael hates this sinking feeling. It makes him want to hate you. How do you stir these sickening feelings in his chest? Raphael especially hates how you make him actually care for you, something he has not done for any mortal before. You turn around to face him finally; Raphael knows to put on his smug smile to help distance himself from you, though today it’s not looking like it’s going to work: “You look, terrified mouse ..... don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now?“ You look into his eyes, and he feels his smile slightly flatter, “Do you have a plan if I don’t make it back?” there is the smallest tremble in your voice. Raphael steps closer and touches the small loose strains of your hair between his thumb and forefinger, “I’m expecting for you to not disappoint me ...to not leave me …” A small nod is your response to this answer, then a small smile curls to your soft lips. Raphael hums in confusion at the sudden switch of mood, and that’s when you press your hands to his chest and crane your neck up to kiss him suddenly; Raphael is bewildered for a moment before he falls for his inner desire and kisses you back, causing him to push you against the wall leaving you both painting once you break. Your lidded eyes are on his as your fingers trace his lips. “Well... In case I don’t come back," Before you finish, Raphael interrupts, “You will come back to me, mouse. You’re mine ...”

Rapheal had watched the brain fall into the harbor, but he knew he just knew you were alright, So he waits .... and waits and waits .... Rapheal starts to feel the worry bloom within, and that’s when he sees you. Body drenched, clearly exhausted, and tadpole-free. Rapheal waits in the shadows till your companions leave, and that’s when he approaches. You two study each other for a moment, despite you clearly looking like you’ve been through hell; he’s never thought you’ve looked more beautiful. You move to walk towards him, but your legs give out on you; in an instant, your nose is filled with smoky sparks, and your wet body is now in a warm embrace of Raphael’s arms. Raphael holds you for a long moment, letting you taken in his warmth as he buries his nose in your hair, holding you tightly before he whispers in your ear, “Don’t let them see you fall yet, mouse, you still have things to do, appearances to keep ... but when it’s done, you will come and nest with me”. Raphael hears you hum softly, and he can’t help but grin; he will have the crown, the hells, and his mouse... it’s all too perfect.

Dammon

Dammon has never seen you shake before, but as he’s retrieving a sword for you, he thinks he sees that nervousness. Considering what you’re about to be up against, it only makes sense that you’re nervous. Dammon puts the sword down and approaches you; he sees that you’re too lost in your thoughts to really pay attention, so he slowly reaches out and grabs your trembling hand. Instantly, you look up to his dazily blue eyes; Dammons smile is soft like it always is for you. You feel your body start to calm as he holds your hand; you feel the rough calluses and his thumb rubbing in slow circles. “Tav, you will be alright, I just know it ... you’re an amazing fighter ... an amazing hero. I know you will do what you need to.” You stifle a laugh, “How are you always so positive?” Dammon thinks for a moment till he brings your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles softly, "I refuse to think of a world without you in it." Dammon knows it’s not enough to fully ease you, but it does earn him a smile from his favorite traveler. Before he knows it, your hand is on the back of his neck, and you are pressing a kiss to his lips. Pulling away, Dammon doesn’t let you go far. He keeps his hold firm to your hips, relishing this small moment of bliss. “In case I never get to see you again.” You say with a smile before your parting from him. You go to grab your sword and meet with your companions, but before you’re gone, he grabs your hand one more time. You look down at your hand and see he’s given you his green scarf; you give a confused look at him, “A piece of me to take with you. I hope it brings you a small comfort.” With that, you run off with his scarf tied around your neck, promising yourself to return it to him and see him again.

Shit, why hasn’t he gotten news if you’re okay? He heard of the crash and saw the blast, but there were still illithods roaming the streets. Dammon just needs to know if you’re okay if you made it. Fuck this waiting; Domman grabs one of his better swords to arm himself to go find you to hold you and smile for you. As Dammon is going to leave the forge, he sees an illithod coming up the stairs, looking for a quick meal. Dammon isn’t inept at fighting, but mind flyers are bigger than he thought. Turning to go the other way, he realizes another is behind him. In a panic, Dammon turns to lock himself in the forge and hopefully make a plan for himself. But before he can, it’s too late, and he feels like someone is grabbing him. Dammon feels its long fingers wrapping around his face, and he knows it’s the end for him; he only hopes you are Okay; please just be okay. Then, with a sharp screech, he feels the hand loosen on his face, dropping him to the ground. When he looks up, he sees one illithod bleeding out as the other is quickly beheaded by you in a graceful swing. Dammon sits there looking up at your dominant form; his hero has saved him again. In the next moment, you’re on the ground checking him for wounds, but that is cut short by him grabbing you and holding you, burying his face in your chest, thanking every god he can think of that you are still okay.

[hypernova-writes]

*sad mexican orphan voice.* Por favor senorita… pregnancy reveal scenarios of Scout, Sniper and Demoman… I have but one peso left…

a/n: PFFT the way some you ask questions kill me lol! But yes yes! I have HUGE baby fever rn, so I will most definitely write this!

Scout, Sniper, and Demoman with a Pregnancy reveal!

Scout

It's suprising that you hadn't gotten knocked up quicker. Like the two of you be fucking like rabbits and with his low refractory period, it was only a matter of time before it finally took.

You were kinda of nervous, Scout really didn't talk much about having kids or showing an interest in them. So you were very scared of telling him.

It took some encouragement form Pyro, and some help from Medic so you could finally go and tell Scout.

You walked into his bedroom, finding him reading a comic, he hopped up quickly as he saw you with a big smile on his face.

"Babycakes! It's 'bout time ya came! I was wonderin' whether i'd done somethin'!" Scout pulls you into a hug and rocks you side to side.

You giggle as you kiss him on his cheek, but you slowly went to push him back to sit down. Scout freezes a bit before rubbing the back of his neck. "Babes?..Why are you lookin' at me like that? Did I do somethin'..?"

You shook your head no, a gentle smile on your face. "No You didn't Jer..just want to show you something."

He tilts his head as you hand him the small envelope. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow before opening it slowly. You could see the gears start to turn in his head before he jolts to his feet.

"I GOTTA GO TELL MY MA!!"

"Babe! Your- We're-" He picked you up and twirled you around, laughing happily and catching you off guard.

"I'm gonna be a dad!! I'm gonna be a dad!!!" He yells at the top of his lungs, the moment he places you down, he places a big kiss to your lips before rushing to use the phone.

Sniper

"..'roo, you 'lright? You haven't been eating much recently without..puking it back up."

You nodded as you turned to face your boyfriend. "Mhm..I'm alright Mick.." You felt awful for lying to him, but you were deathly afraid of telling him that you were pregnant.

Normally you and Sniper are careful when it comes protection whenever the two of you slept together, but recently on his birthday you went a little too far with teasing him and he had you bent over quicker than you could process.

You were concerned so you went to Medic to get a pregnancy test and low and behold, it was positive. Medic was able to tell you that you were three months along, and he gave you the ultrasound.

You don't remember protection being used...

But you do remember him fucking his cum right back into you.

You were laying on the bed in his camper, your back was facing him as you were getting ready to rest when you heard Sniper call out to you.

"..Sheila.." His voice was soft and you turned around to face him and your eyes widened as you sat up.

In his hand, he held the ultrasound photo, the photo of the baby boy you would soon be bringing into this world.

You averted your gaze as you sat up, Sniper walked over to place himself between your legs, leaning forward to place his head on your stomach.

He raised a hand to caress your stomach.

"Y-your not mad..?"

"Mad? I would be a bloody fool..We created this together...Just..some things are gon' have to change..but.."

"I'm going to love you both the same."

Demoman

You made this big thing, you had some of the other mercs help you out with it.

You knew how important children were to Demoman, and how badly he expressed about wanting to give his child the childhood he nver had. He wanted to be an active father and you were so excited to finally be able to tell him that he was going to be one!

"Hey Solly! Is he ready?"

"AFFIRMATIVE MS. Y/N"

"Great, Go get him."

You watched as Soldier marched off to go and get his friend, you were busy setting up the dinner you made for him. The other mercs agreed to go somewhere else while you used the common room.

"Aye..theres ma beautiful lady! What's all this?" He asks referring to the stuff and you giggle. Leading him over to where you had a box, inside was a cute baby onsie, with matching lil socks.

"Oi! Soldier! Lad what are you doing?"

"JUST FOLLOW ME SOLDIER, YOUR WIFEY HAS DEMANDED YOUR PRESENCE"

Demoman pulled Soldiers hands off his eyes, his back was to you.

"Huh? My lass?" He turns to face you with a chuckle before smirking.

Demoman froze as he lifts it up. "Is...Does this mean?-"

"YOU ARE NOW A FATHER DEMOMAN! CONGRATULATIONS ON CONTINUING YOUR BLOODLINE!"

You giggle as you watch Demoman hold the baby things close to his chest. He was bawling his eyes out as Soldier saluted to you and headed out his job done.

Demoman picked you up and held you in his arms. "OHH YOU'VE GONE AND MADE ME THE HAPPIEST MAN ON THE PLANET!!!"

Demoman held you all night long, his hands on your stomach as he talks about what he's going to do as a father.

-> I hope you enjoy these <3

[9toji]

Can u do make up seggx please (and with a wholesome aftercare with a lot of apologizing) 😭😭😭 with either toji nanami megumi getooo !!! <33 ty

I really love ur works btw 💗

A UNIQUE FORM OF SORRIES + toji, geto

tags ; nsfw, mean doms turned soft, they're so sorry for mistreating you, toji's position is mating press, while geto's is missionary, cockwarming (toji), mentions of wanting a child (toji), tons of sweet words thrown and aftercare is sweet, not fuck but making love, sweet kinda segsy time

rina's comments ; OFC ANON <3 thamks so much for the kind words!! i hope u likey likey this!! ill make a part 2 for nanamin and megumin

toji

he was such a big meanie earlier that day, avoiding you because he was in a pensive mood. almost screamed at you but after seein' you almost cry, he goes soft and he says sorry.. by fucking you

“let me make you feel better, sweet thing.” he groans, his huge figure was hovering over you. cock buried deep, stretching you out with ease as he bottomed out. toji's tongue was lapping up your neck, “ 'm sorry, feels good.. huh?” he chuckles after hearing you whine out, one of his hands was placed under your head so that two of you stared at each other while he pounded into you.

toji rarely treated you with this much softness n care so you buried your head in the crook of his neck, blushing. he notices this and makes you look at him, gentle fingers squeezing your cheeks so you two can maintain eye contact, “wanna see your face when i make ya feel good baby, forgive me, hm?” he coos, smiling at the way you purse your lips, “you know ya love me.”

his thrusts aren't what you're used to, they're slow and sensual, making sure to hit those sweet spots just right that it makes you go dumb and dizzy for him, he cradles you in his arms with care till both of you reach your high, toji doesn't pull out though. he has his dick lay inside you, softening as the base gets coated with your cum.

you giggle into his warm and bear-like embrace, watching him kiss your body all over. from your cheeks to your shoulders, to your wrists and palms. “love all of this, you're the only one f'me.. gonna have my babies soon, don't get so mad baby. still need to marry you and make you have my babies, okay?”

geto

you two had a major disagreement that lasted weeks, geto avoided you like the plague and gave you the silent treatment. but not until he saw you sobbing, his heart aching for you so he places a warm kiss, that ends up in something more

“missed you baby, there you are.” he breathes, kissing your nose as he thrusts into you. geto's hands were on either side of you, and your legs were dangling off his forearms. geto groans every time you pull on his locks, and he fakes a sad expression when you mumble, “hate you suguru.” “but i love you more.”

your eyes droop and he taps your cheeks, “watch me make love to you baby, see how much i missed lovin' you. so so sorry, what else can i do for my baby, hm?” he asks softly, brushing off the sweaty strands of hair that covered your face. geto definitely felt bad, n you could tell by the way he talks to you.

normally, he would hiss and spit of how much of a whore you were; prompting you to bend over. but now, he was staring into your eyes, nodding everytime you showed signs of pleasure, “like it baby? mm, yeah.”suguru grins, watching you twitch after you reach your high, pulling out and asking politely if you could sit on his lap, rubbing warm circles on your back as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, “i love you, so much. nothin's gonna pull us apart.” suguru swears, kissing your forehead.

he keeps whispering into your ear, making you feel a little sleepy. his eyes soften at the sight and he kisses you once more before he hugs you tight, “love you baby.” he mumbles, falling asleep alongside you.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

So apparently pitchpearl is a thing, I've been on tumblr for a while and if you know any history then you understand why selfcest doesn't surprise me in the slightest

Anyway...

dpxdc Misunderstanding that becomes reality fic: 1.5k

part 1

Warning: I plan on a very melancholic ending, its a good ending but also kinda sad

...

When Danny moved to Gotham, he really had thought he wouldn't continue his hero work in this dimension.

But there was a little girl in the street that almost got hurt during a rogue attack.

But some kind of gas went off at the cafe he worked at and it's not like he really needs to breath and there were so many people.

But his University, Gotham U, was in a lock down from a random winter storm that definitely wasn't natural.

So he did what he could when he saw it and kept off of the news when he was doing class work, letting the other "vigilantes" pick up where he couldn't.

However, after a few more months of class, work, and being a vigilante (the news station that first showed him used the correct name!!), he was right back where he had been in Amity before he'd managed to close the portal.

Exhausted and failing at everything other than hero work.

The year after he had graduated high school he stayed in Amity and was able to make amends with the ghosts, being the crown prince definitely helped. He thought the ghost attacks stopping would have lessened his pa- Jack and Maddie trying to catch one. In reality they only became more and more frantic to catch the last ghost, "Mini Phantom".

Revealing he had a daughter, that that daughter was half ghost, hadn't gone well in the slightest.

The one shot Maddie managed to hit had almost destabilized her. He had grabbed her and ran into the portal. He wasn't sure how he'd done it, but in a fit of blinding rage he had destroyed both sides of the doorway to the Ghost Zone.

Frost bite had managed to get her to retract into her core. She'd need some time before she'd have a physical form again, and she'd need Danny to keep her stable for some time, but she would make it. She'd be fine in the end.

It felt weird to have two cores in his chest, but other than needing to take ecto shots it wasn't a huge change.

The last time he'd been to frostbite Ellie's core had some sort of shake to it. It could have been nothing, but a halfa was rare enough. A halfa making a never-born hadn't even been thought of. Add on, that that never-born could possibly be born a halfa was... concerning.

So here he was, in an entirely new dimension, nervously chewing on the end of his stylus, waiting to hear back from Frostbite. His study sessions lately kept being interrupted by thoughts of her. If she really was okay.

Then there was an earth shattering BOOM, that shook his entire building.

As he floated upwards and through the wall he caught a glimpse of something he had never seen before in his afterlife.

A daemon. An actual daemon with red skin and horns and a flaming tail crawling out of the ruble that used to be his front door.

Danny could sense immediately that the being wasn't from the ghost zone, but it held just as much power as one of the stronger ghost.

He transformed and landed in front of the being, "Hey! That was my front door! What gives, Rudolf?"

The daemon shook the dust off his head and looked at Phantom, then at his chest, and back at him. "I do not fight those that carry child."

"Oh... uh." He was not expecting that. "Are you okay?"

It was the daemons turn to look perplexed. "I am fighting a hellblazer, he owes me something. Refuses to pay."

"That's annoying." He looked around to see some guy in a trench coat at the end of the street. The yet to settle dust cloud making it hard to figure out any other features. "I can help if you-"

At that a massive blast of magic hit him and the daemon, sending them careening farther down the street.

Danny's vision went double and he thought he was going to throw up. All he could focus on at first was the pain as he tried to stand on wobbly legs, then it was the emptiness in his chest.

Ellie.

He closed his eyes and dropped back to the floor. He focused on her core. He found it quickly, checking it over, turning it every which way incessantly until he heard someone groan in front of him.

When he opened his eyes he was looking at two much smaller daemons, one a bright red, the other a darker wine red, sitting in a massive indent in the road. One he very luckily was on the very outskirts of.

The two immediately started to bicker, swatting at each other, but not actually fighting.

He heard footsteps on the wreckage behind him, some magic words were said and the daemons' were hand cuffed and poofed out of sight.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Trench coat asked him, not bothering to give him his hand.

"No thanks to you, you ass."

"I just saved your life." He said with a blank expression.

"The daemon wouldn't have done anything to me. Unlike you, they have a moral code."

Trench coat huffed, that seemed to ruffle his feathers. "And what would those morals be exactly?"

"They pay their debts, for one. And two, they don't magically attack people carrying children." Danny stood up and wavered. Trench coat grabbed his arm to steady him.

He stared at Danny for a few more seconds, "You're not human." It wasn't a question. He sucked in a breath, "You're not fully human."

"Ding, ding, ding." Danny tried to shake of the hellblazer's grip. "Let go of me."

"I know where to get medical attention for non humans. You need to be looked over." He said, starting the motion to make a portal.

"Nuh, uh. No. I'm fine." Danny said, patting the hand still wrapped around his arm. Trenchcoat let go and shoved him lightly, Danny felt the world twist around him as the pavement came up to meet his face.

Before he hit the ground he stopped in mid air, not by his own volition, and was gently propped back up.

"That blast spell is designed to not affect humans. You shouldn't have felt more than a breeze." Trenchcoat went back to opening up a portal, it glowed an eerie red. "Come on, well check the little one too."

Danny let himself get pulled through the red portal, it quickly closed behind them.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

His head was pounding.

"wha/t- morals- exactly?"

Talking.

"debts- two- atta/ckp/eo-ple- children."

Two voices. Two people.

"not human."

He feels empty.

"Letg/oof me."

He's hurt. His other half is hurt.

"You need to be looked over."

He opened his eyes, a man was holding his other half. His other half and his daughter.

"Nuh, uh. No. I'm fine." His other half swatted at the man.

The man pushed his other half to the ground.

He tried to reach out but his hand was barely a shimmering outline.

His other half didn't hit the ground.

There was ringing in his ears. The man would pay.

"Come on,- the little one too."

The man pulled his other half through a portal.

A sickly looking portal. A bloody color.

He floated up. Sped to the closing portal.

It closed too fast.

He wasn't fast enough.

...

It took Phantom 20 minutes to get his thoughts in order and another 10 before the ringing in his ears stopped.

He had been split in two before, but the ghost "dream catcher" the ecto-scientists made years ago had split his ghost half and his human half entirely. This was different.

He still felt a bit of his humanness. Transforming would suck though, he felt too low on ecto to do that.

His other half was in his human form when he looked. He still had Ellie nestled up against his core. But his core looked off. Although the silhouette was of a full sphere, he couldn't help shaking the thought that he saw some parts missing.

When Danny had been split before only his ghost had kept the core, it was what nearly killed them both. What made them promise to never split again.

Maybe if they both had bits of a core they'd be fine until they could reunite.

He tried to focus on his core but it made his head pound.

He'd have to hope his other half could manage as he tried to organize a rescue mission.

Although he'd managed to get a message from the Ghost Zone to Sam and Tucker, he wouldn't be able to get one dirrectly to their dimension.

He knew even trying to make a portal with his ecto as low as it was wasn't a good idea. And would be a waste of the ecto shots he had just chugged.

There was really only one hope of help he had left, one he really didn't want to ask.

A new friend he had made at the cafe.

Tim Drake-Wayne, son of Brucie Wayne. The very same Brucie Wayne that was definitely funding Batman's weird night life.

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Wow this got away from me, honestly was planning on like 500 words. I want to continue this, but if anyone wants to pick it up and play around please feel free to add stuff in the reblogs! I adore reading peoples additions to posts

(As always please please please help me writing tags i never knwo what to do with them, the lack of structure here compared to ao3 confuses me)

[nemisuki]

Sudden Shower

Break up AU | You didn’t realize entering a new life would affect your relationship this drastically. Maybe some things are meant to stay in the past to live in the future. 

᧔o᧓ || katsuki bakugo x f!reader, no manga spoilers, pure angst, no fluff, sad but kinda open ending, aged up to 19-20, right person wrong time trope, high school sweethearts no more, time to cry, read at ur own will, 1.1k word count 

"You can't keep pushing me away when all I've been doing is trying to help you Katsuki."

The sound of water droplets echo around the couple - pitter and pattering of the rain trickle on the concrete pathway under their feet.

Small vibrations course through his hand as the storm grows more intense, both in his heart and nature taking its course, heavy downpour hitting the surface of their shared umbrella.

Her gaze roams his facial features from the side, the moonlight illuminating his red eyes, making them look more intense if even possible.

"I didn't ask for your fucking help. I'm not a kid who needs to hold your hand every step of the way."

He refuses to meet her eyes - staring straight ahead as they walk towards the agency he interns at. His voice was intense yet not to the point of yelling.

Arguments aren't uncommon these days. Growing more frequent these past couple of weeks.

The stress of newfound adulthood seeping into the cracks of their relationship.

"Yes and I understand that but you're not acknowledging my concerns! It's not like I think you're not capable, I'm worried about you. What part of that don't you get-"

He halts in his stride as she expresses her troubles - causing her to stop as well.

They both stand in uncomfortable silence, the only thing being heard is the rain around them and sway of leaves from the trees of the park.

A shortcut to the agency they found months ago.

"Don't you think I know that? That's not the point! Breathing down my neck every time we meet and constantly babying me is fucking annoying!"

"Because I care about you!"

"You never were like this before we graduated! And don't give me that bullshit of hero work being dangerous. I know what I signed up for and you knew since we started dating!"

"Did you ever think for one second from my perspective?! I barely see you these days and when I do, you're so exhausted that I have to pick up your pieces!"

"I never asked you too, I'm fucking fine!"

"You never tell me anything! Just talk to me! Why can't you admit to yourself that you need a break?!"

"I don't exactly have the pleasure to have free time Y/N. I can't just stop going on patrols because my girlfriend fucking misses me!"

The storm only seems to grow more intense as the pitch of their voices turn sharp - courtesy of their fluctuating emotions.

A chill goes up her spine as he finally turns to face her, those red orbs boring into her own.

Whether it's from the cold weather or the frustrated expression on his face, she doesn't know.

At his words she's unaware of what to say in response, thinking about the tension between them as of lately.

Her gaze wanders away from his face and down to the puddle forming beneath them.

The reflections of them two tauntingly staring back at her. A version of themselves they have yet to explore.

This isn't high school drama anymore - the new world they entered was filled with responsibilities and unfamiliar experiences.

They have yet to open the gates of their unknown future as adults but looks like they'll be choosing which path to take from here on out.

And they both knew there was only one right option.

He seems to understand what's going through her mind and grimaces at the thought.

Even if he knew it was inevitable.

The decision was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode after weeks of arguments, conflicts and foul exchanges.

She couldn’t constantly be distracted from her work because of the uncontrollable anxiety towards him. And he couldn’t give it his all if he had to balance his busy schedule between his work and personal relationships.

They both had problems to work on but separately. 

"....katsuki-"

"yeah i know... i know."

Before he cowers back on this decision, he gently places the umbrella in her hand, giving her one final look.

As if all his frustrations vanished and were replaced with a neutral reaction. Maybe because he’s trying to be strong for the both of them, knowing he has to be the one to end things.

That’s something that she always admired, his strength.

She’s about to apologize for not being the one to speak up but he shakes his head. Already knowing what she’s gonna say and gently patting her head.

Her heart thumping away at the small gesture.

A distant look casts over their eyes - though they both know once they look away, it will all come crashing down.

They didn't say much after that, unaware of how long they stood in the same position communicating with their stare alone.

He was the first one to move.

Turning around and beginning to walk away from her, droplets starting to absorb into the jacket he wore today.

One she bought him long ago.

"Text me when you get home at least dummy."

The serene sound of his voice made her unable to stay silent any longer, she bit her cheek as tears began trickling down her face, attempting to hold back the sobs urging to escape her mouth.

"Katsuki!" she yells out, once he's a good distance away.

Her heart is clenching so much that it hurts, her throat closing up as if her body registers that this is really it.

He hesitates but ultimately turns around, looking at her from afar.

This distance between them is so vast - both physically and emotionally.

When you love someone, set them free right? Right.

It was as if all their shared memories came flowing back to her.

Perhaps they were meant to meet when they're still young and find each other again when they're older.

Or maybe this truly is the end - only time would tell.

She musters up the best smile she could at the moment and stares at him. Many thoughts going through her mind but only one stands out.

Slowly she opens her mouth to speak, wanting nothing more then to run back into his arms and say "I love you" but-

"Thank you."

Before he could say anything back, she turns on her heels and spins around, walking away from him before she breaks down. 

Finally allowing her emotions to surface, bursting into tears as her figure goes out of sight.

She knew if he said anything more, she'd go running back to him. But you shouldn't stay on a chapter for too long, no one should stay stuck in the past after all.

Unable to see the blonde, he stands there motionless, letting the rain devour him up completely.

Streaks of water dripping down his cheeks - unaware of the difference between possible tears and the downpour coming from the clouds.

"I love you too Y/N."

Oh how much the boy hates rain. 

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a/n ||| im sorry i haven't posted in 2 whole weeks! honestly i zone out during december but im back ૮꒰ྀི > . < ꒱ྀིა and with some angst oooo la la. idk if u guys would like more sad fics like this on my page but do lmk in the comments! sometimes u just gotta let people go to improve on urself and thats okay :) tags ||| @leleyro ໒꒰ྀི ´๑  ̫๑`  ꒱ྀིა