#See human beings that don't drive me into a panic attack by just existing in the same room as me

[psilactis]

I'm so tired

[happyk44]

Ya know, I was reading your Siren-Powers!Children of Poseidon post earlier and while I really absolutely love your thoughts on the Children of Hades & Zeus versions of the siren powers, I'd love to offer up some possible alternatives to the Siren!Powers that I think would better match up with those vibes <3

1) What if Children of Poseidon can appeal to the darker parts of the mind? In Ancient Mythology, Poseidon was often known as the "Dark Twin of Zeus" (as opposed to Hades, which we see in modern versions) and so what if, while Children of Zeus appeal to people's sense of justice and morality, Children of Poseidon appeal to their impulsivity and intrusive thoughts? They can't exactly give direct instructions nor can they invoke any immediate reactions through this power, but they can make their "suggestions" swirl around in their victim's heads until it is all they can think about. Like if Percy said to a monster: "What if you fall on your sword right now? What would happen?", throughout the course of the fight, the urge swirls in their mind until it gets stronger and stronger until eventually the monster does that (if they haven't already died yet). It's not an as effective power as it's cousins are but it does drive the victim slowly insane and can offer for some insane scenes if you phrase the questions just right. Basically, they're targeting the mind's intrusive thoughts and turning them 1000%

Another alternative to that is:

2) What if Children of Poseidon can confuse the mind? The Oceans are bottomless, unknown abysses who can easily sink ships and make creatures no longer know what is up or down and what is right or wrong. They invoke frantic survival instincts, even to the greatest swimmers and divers, and a lot of the time it's to the point where humans bring about their own downfall. There's a reason Thalassophobia is so common and exists. So what if Children of Poseidon can manipulate the frequency of their voices to invoke that kind of confusion/disorientation? What if they can make their victims either act out or break down within themselves in an existential panic attack? They could say things like "you don't know what's going on, do you?" while approaching them slowly with a sadistic smile like someone who's trying to talk down a dangerous person would. They could talk circles around someone while further bringing them down into their trap like a siren typically would but Poseidon was originally born to the land so wouldn't his and his children's power be more land-oriented? Food for thought but the whole hc still stands :)

All in all, as usual, this is just a suggestion/proposition coming from a brain who always thought Siren!Powers for Children of Poseidon was always weird and absolutely random--okay, the Oceans I get, but literally nothing else connects Poseidon to the sirens?? If anything, that would be more of Demeter/Persephone's domain because that is where the actual mythological origins lay (in some accounts)? Or with Children of the actual Seas/those who were actually born of the Seas like Children of Amphitrite or Porchys? Or just Nereids in general? Idk man, it just personally seems weird to me /gen--and so they decided to come up with cool and interesting alternatives! Pls tell me if you like them!!! (I absolutely adore your blog-- /shy)

I do like the idea of Poseidon's kids being able to appeal to the inner chaos of people - partly because it makes Dionysus and Percy occasionally beefing with each other even funnier since Dionysus is sometimes thought of as the god of chaos, and is capability of inflicting madness on characters, which, lol, Zeus being his dad is even funnier now that I think about it.

Dionysus: *makes wine*

Zeus: I like this.

Dionysus: *causes people to go insane and riot*

Zeus: I do not like this.

But back to the ocean bugs, them being able to cause disorder as a versus to their cousins being able to cause order fits Poseidon's status as a god of storms! And the fact that when he loses a competition, he immediately jumps to "flood this city, kill everyone". Percy and his siblings being able to inflict this mentality onto other people is a really neat way to look at it. Rather than getting people into line, they get people to scatter even more, maybe even causing them to go against their internal morals.

Water is also associated with chaos in some mythologies (which, yeah I get why), so that's another aspect that helps the idea. As well as the fact that water can distort your perception of things within it because of the refraction of the light, so distorting someone else's thoughts and being able to talk them into something they wouldn't normally do is 👀👀

There's also nitrogen narcosis!

[ID: Screenshot from the wikipedia page on Nitrogen Narcosis. It is a table displaying the Signs and Symptoms of narcosis, breathing air. The columns of the table are Pressure (bar), Depth (m), Depth (ft), and Comments. The Comments column lists the signs and symptoms of narcosis at different pressures and depths.

Row 1

Pressure (bar): 1-2 Depth (m): 0-10 Depth (ft): 0-33 Comments: Unnoticeable minor symptoms, or no symptoms at all

Row 2

Pressure (bar): 2-4 Depth (m): 10-30 Depth (ft): 33-100 Comments: Mild impairment of performance of unpracticed tasks; mildly impaired reasoning; mild euphoria possible

Row 3

Pressure (bar): 4-6 Depth (m): 30-50 Depth (ft): 100-165 Comments: Delayed response to visual and auditory stimuli; reasoning and immediate memory affected more than motor coordination; calculation errors and wrong choices; idea fixation; over-confidence and sense of well-being; laughter and loquacity (in chambers) which may be overcome by self-control; anxiety (common in cold murky water)

Row 4

Pressure (bar): 6-8 Depth (m): 50-70 Depth (ft): 165-230 Comments: Sleepiness, impaired judgment, confusion; hallucinations; severe delay in response to signals, instructions and other stimuli, occasional dizziness, uncontrolled laughter, hysteria (in chamber); terror in some

Row 5

Pressure (bar): 8-10 Depth (m): 70-90 Depth (ft): 230-300 Comments: Poor concentration and mental confusion; stupefaction with some decrease in dexterity and judgment; loss of memory, increased excitability

Row 6

Pressure (bar): 10+ Depth (m): 90+ Depth (ft): 300+ Comments: Intense hallucinations; increased intensity of vision and hearing; sense of impending blackout or of levitation; dizziness, euphoria, manic or depressive states; disorganization of the sense of time, changes in facial appearance; unconsciousness, (approximate inspired partial pressure of nitrogen for anaesthesia is 33 atm); death

/end ID]

So yeah - siren-like powers focused on causing disorder, distortion, confusion, and so on, make a lot of sense to what the ocean can illicit in people. These are a lot of good ideas 😊

As for the siren thing - yeah, I get it. I haven't really seen people talk about it before, but it doesn't really bother me because it's fun to think of different things.

As for greater fandom, yeah, it's likely because sirens are associated with the ocean. If you're focusing only on "Poseidon is the ocean, has no relation to the sirens outside of that", then some of the other parts of Percy's powers don't make sense - like being able to hold up the Lethe, or keep himself dry from it, being able to drown Ahkyls in her own fluids, and so on, because none of that is technically the ocean. The only link is that people associate the ocean with water/liquid and those other things involve water/liquid.

Or you can look at it the same way I look at Hades - where the link to Underworld is why Nico, Hazel, and Bianca are able to use the powers not related to the dead or underground wealth. Nico hopping through dreams is not an afterlife power, but Hypnos lives in the Underworld, he's connected to Hades by that, and so Nico gets that little boost. So Poseidon is the god of the ocean, and anything and anyone associated with the ocean is linked by that.

Sirens are also associated with merfolk in modern times, so there's that too. I mean, have you ever heard of a mermaid not singing? It might not be a "siren song" but it's still some kind of song. But, lol, don't stress yourself too much about it. If it doesn't make sense to you, that's perfectly understandable and the ideas you've presented are super great!

[thediktatortot]

It would be real nice if Billy Anti's practice what they preached.

Stay out of the Billy tag all together if it's that triggering for you. Why are you in there? Why do you want to make yourself upset? If you think we are such bad people who are so racist and so abusive and 'probably hurt our own siblings' then why do you stick around?

I don't go sitting in the TERF tag because I feel the need to make myself upset. I don't want to be upset, I want to be happy and live my life the way I want too and the last thing I would want to do is put something I know is going to get seen by the people I don't like in a place where they WILL see it.

It just doesn't make sense. Do you guys know how to have fun? I know shits hard right now in life, I really do, I've not had anything going for my life since I was about 16 and I realized I had ADHD and my life wasn't just hard because I was stupid & a Millennial who was somehow ruining everything for Boomers.

The world is dying, the corporate greed is off the charts and the white Fascist Nazis are taking more and more important rolls in our life every day all over the world.

So please tell me, why do you guys want to spend what little time we have to enjoy ourselves and have fun, wanting to hurt yourselves?

Stop triggering yourself if that's really the issue, and if all you want to do is be mean to people because you feel out of control in your life and you feel like there's something you should be doing to 'make things better' then take a step back and look at yourself.

You're not making anything better by bullying and harassing people online. That will change absolutely nothing for anyone.

No ones going to get better at being anti-racist because you decided to bully someone online for liking something you don't.

No one's going to be better humans and stop killing queer and black people because you doxxed some random artist in another fascist country for drawing fictional people.

No one's going to stop the pay gaps from continuing to rise because you decided to joke around with a corporate social media and told people to kill themselves for buying something they have to use in their every day life.

No one's going to start housing homeless people and stop murdering Trans people on the street because you decided to call out someone for being racist or homophobic on a blog post and subsequently got them booted offline because all their accounts are now locked.

It doesn't do anything.

It just hurts more people and creates more hurt people who hurt people. It does nothing. You aren't being activists at all and nine out of ten times you are hurting someone who is trying to do better and trying, just like you, to just survive.

If you want to make a difference in the world, take care of yourself. Do better FOR YOU and people around you will want to do better too.

You can't force people to do better. You can't force people to want to be better. People have to want to allow themselves to start getting better and it can be hard for people to let their old pain go and start to change because change is fucking hard.

You don't get change with being a dick online. You get change by helping people want to be better, teaching people better ways of existing, SHOWING them how just being a nicer human can make your life so much easier.

Stress is a killer man, I've been having panic attacks since I was a teenager and let me tell you, it doesn't get any easier. You want to make yourself a happier place to surround yourself with because no one is going to do it for you.

If you want to see a difference in the world, then do something that can make a difference. Volunteer in your community, raise a drive for people in need, find a study that you are interested in that can be expanded upon for the benefit of the world, teach yourself a new skill that can save you money on plastics and gas, read a book by an author who has nothing in common with you, talk to people.

We aren't all singular units out here guys, we are a community and we are a people who go through bad shit all the time and we should be trying to help each other get to a better place in our lives, no matter what.

[blimbo-buddy]

The knights are kind of 50/50 yeah they're basically cops but also they're better than cops.

Tigerstar takes over Windclan and Riverclan and most of Shadowclan and Thunderclan is basically taking refuge at Pawshire and the kingdoms are in emergency meeting because "Oh fuck, this guy actually wants to start a war and killed Bluestar."

That's how Rusty and Sandstorm start hittin' it off. There is some teasing but it lightens up a little when they're working together to try and stop this horrible war.

Might I add, there hasn't been an actual full on battlefield war attack in ages and mostly hostile one-off disputes.

It ends with the Empire coming and taking Tigerstar's life Scourge style with their sickass metal claws and then it's Darkest Hour but also not Darkest Hour because the Empire wants to kill the remaining clan cats.

So now all the clans have a common enemy and they chase off the Empire but the Empire is like, "This isn't over. As long as those clans continue to exist! As long as they continue to breathe their horrible lies and spread their brainwashing we'll never die!" before doing a tactical retreat.

Rusty is asked to become leader of Thunderclan as he helped lead the clans and did the most in their dire need.

He says he'll think about it and Sandstorm waits for him at the border for his decision.

that's my basic plot outline that still needs gaps to be filled as I'm just marking down major events, changing them, and trying to work it all into cohesion. I'm actually quite proud and Rusty's desicion ends up being like Aang's from Avatar the Last Airbender where he doesn't have to choose A or B. He chooses the secret and hidden C option.

Ah I see I see. 'Least the original Police system disappeared alongside the humans I suppose. Let's hope the Kingdoms don't repeat the same mistake.

Imagining the Thunderclan cats weren't the happiest with taking refuge in the Kingdoms, but they needed to swallow their fucking pride if they were to all end up surviving. Although yeah I imagine the panic the Kingdoms were going through in that meeting meanwhile Thunderclan is just standing around not sure what to do. Imagine SilverStream nervous and worried about the state of her Clan during the take over. Yeah, they treat her like an enemy now, but what about her father? And her cousins? Imagine how devastated she is when she hears that StoneFur was executed.

I think in terms of "realism" it makes more sense for TigerStar to die like that if the claws were metal. Still badass either way though, always gotta keep that in, y'know. Me staring at the trope of "character(s) whose drive for vengeance becomes their own downfall and makes them repeat the same cycle of needless bloodshed" on the table with a big ass goofy grin.

Loving the route that you're taking with Rusty, woah boy wonder what his decision will be!

[not-joan-of-arc]

heaven official's blessing (pt. 2)

(finished reading on April 1 2022)

my unedited annotations for books four and five (SPOILERS AHEAD):

BOOK FOUR

been too busy to read for the past few days but I'm super excited to dive back into this - that being said, I'm still scared of this book ending

and so we return to the past!!

okay so Xie Lian's already been banished? ngl I was kind of hoping to see the actual banishment because I'm still confused as to why exactly he was banished??

also it's weird because the Xie Lian of the past is vastly different from present him but you can also very clearly see how he became the way he is today

ah yes now we know exactly where Xie Lian's poison-cooking-specialty originates from lol

okay Mu Qing is being kind of a dick in leaving Xie Lian but also he's got a valid point, and I kinda sympathise with him?

oh fuck me it's Hua Cheng?? I knew he would be in this book somehow!!

“I want to protect them.” - no but this is his unfulfilled wish that ties him to the mortal realm?? like he just wants to protect Xie Lian, that's so pure and wow I'm actually going to start crying now

I hope one day to find someone who loves me as much as Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, even if its just in a platonic way

‘“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said.

The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.”’

no but this whole scene with Xie Lian and little ghost Hua Cheng is like the foundation of their current relationship - Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian without ever speaking a word to him of it, suffering to keep his heart to himself

so Hua Cheng died in the war, that makes sense

wait what?? Xie Lian actually cooked something edible?? maybe his cooking skills are a plot device after all

oh so this is when Feng Xin gets all wifed up

no but you really feel the second-hand embarassment when Xie Lian is caught trying to rob someone, like he's really fallen from that gracious and honorable Crown Prince of the past

yo someone help this boy, he is literally having multiple panic attacks and has very severe PTSD and also probably depression, like boy needs some therapy stat

but tbf, that's all characters in every mxtx adaptation rip

okay but ghost fire Hua Cheng is genuinely adorable

oh so these are the thirty-three heavenly officials Hua Cheng becomes famous for killing - of course his reason for doing so was Xie Lian! I should have realised that sooner considering everything Hua Cheng does is for Xie Lian

“But, this hand had reached out too late.”

I think White No-Face's obsession with Xie Lian is because he is the Crown Prince of Wuyong who suffered a terrible fate and he wants Xie Lian to suffer likewise and join him so he won't be alone anymore

the one instance where Feng Xin and Mu Qing are actually getting along and it's Xie Lian who drives them apart, how ironic - I keep trying to make myself like Mu Qing and like, I understand why he does what he does but I still don't like him - Feng Xin though is my boi

I'm beginning to understand why book four is the most tragic and hardest-to-read section in the whole book

no but it makes sense?? killing makes you immune to the human face disease

oh fuck no I think I know what's about to happen

Xie Lian...what are they doing to you

fuck me but he is without a doubt the character with the most tragic backstory ever to exist

SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE HIM

how painful this must be for Hua Cheng too seeing the love of his life bear so much pain and be unable to do anything about it

Xie Lian you need to tell Feng Xin what happened to you or you're going to lose him too

“It’s not like I’m a god, can’t I be angry? Can’t I hate?”

I understand why Feng Xin leaves but also fuck you Feng Xin! can't you see how much torment your best friend is in? can't you see that he's too broken to be left alone

wait the King and Queen have actually hanged themselves?

no okay this is too fucking much don't y'all leave Xie Lian alone like this, he doesn't deserve to be tormented like thus, he doesn't deserve any of this

Ruoye!! and now I understand what Xie Lian meant when he talked about forging his spiritual device with Pei Ming - I knew it would be tragic but never this tragic

he's on the verge of becoming the white-faced calamity isn't he?

Hua Cheng to the rescue!! and now I understand all the fan art of Hua Cheng in a smiling face mask

or maybe not Hua Cheng to the rescue? curiouser and curiouser

Xie Lian has definitely got something up his sleeve as always but it still hurts to watch him be so broken and in pain

and now we have the story behind the bamboo hat

Hua Cheng!!

ahh why do they both go through so much pain?? and because they're soulmates they feel each other's pain too - my heart -

I read a post that said all that happens to Xie Lian makes him “desensitised” to everything and that's exactly what it is - he bears so much pain and suffering and humiliation in such a short span of time that eight hundred years later present day Xie Lian just does not give a fuck about anything anymore, like he's reached the lowest it is posible to ever go and can go no lower and like my heart is in pieces for him but at the same time he's such a fucking icon

the truth behind his second banishment

and thus we have present day Xie Lian in all his adorableness, except now we know his full story

the only big mystery left now is his third ascension I think

now onto book five as we return to Mount Tongl'u

BOOK FIVE

I don't this even needs to be said but I loathe White No-Face with every inch of my being okay

no but its actually hilarious that Hua Cheng carved a inhumanly big statue of Xie Lian out of a literal mountain, like my man is whipped

the real question is why is Hua Cheng a ghost king and not a world-famous artist and sculptor?? like he should have his own museum and not be running the ghost version of las vegas lol

it's also hilarious how though all the gods supposedly find Xie Lian strange they're all still willing to do whatever he says, like Quan Yizhen and even Pei Ming

haha I knew Pei Ming totally ships it

its only been like a few hours since Hua Cheng and Xie Lian properly kissed with no pretensions (and they haven't even properly confessed their love yet - though they don't really need to to be honest lol) but I'm absolutely living for these casual displays of love, like Hua Cheng giving Xie Lian a forehead kiss makes me feel so warm and happy

I was wondering when Shi Quingxan would show up again - ngl, was not expecting this reunion though

absolutely love the fact that Xie Lian can quite easily kiss Hua Cheng in front of everyone when it's a high-stakes situation but gets flustered by kissing his cheek when they're completely alone, Xie Lian is just too adorable

Jun Wu is White No-Face?? what the fuck....

I thought Jun Wu was kind of sus but not to this extent

no I don't want Yin Yu to die, he's genuinely one of my faves and deserves so much better than he got

yasss we stan Lord Rain Master!!

hmm I wonder if Mu Qing's interrogation has anything to do with what Hua Cheng heard him and Feng Xin arguing about on Mount Tongl'u

I mean Hua Cheng isn't wrong, the two of them really have zero self-preservation instincts lol

yes finally, we're going to get the full story!

so Jun Wu/White No-Face has basically been manipulating everything from the very beginning? damn - and I thought Mengyao in mdzs was a psychopath, this is just on a whole other level

Guoshi ships it!! he's definitely confused about where all the gay came from though lol

I'm screaming Guoshi is definitely trying (and failing) to give Xie Lian some sex ed

this whole battle seems like some sort of crack dream

okay but Guoshi is actually the best

Guoshi referring to Quan Yizhen as a ‘fluffy child’ is the peak of hilarity

not Guzi!

this Hua Cheng is He Xuan isn't it

not gonna lie, I kinda ship General Pei and the Rain Master

Hua Cheng already imagining having a child with Xie Lian - I can't, that's too adorable

final battle approaches

Hua Cheng wanting to make a good impression on his boyf's ‘dad’

come on Xie Lian, you're so good at sussing out every other gods mysteries but you can't even figure out all Hua Cheng has done for you? you're so fucking obtuse at times

Hua Cheng thinking that Xie Lian was going to stab himself again - my heart - and then being reminded of when Xie Lian was stabbed by a hundred swords but Xie Lian just laughing it off - ahhh why did they have to go through so much pain

I think Feng Xin is slowly coming to the understand the depth of trust and love and mutual respect that is Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's relationship - he's definitely not against it now at the very least

also glad we're finally getting some character growth from Mu Qing, after 800 years

so this is the truth of Mu Qing and honestly, I can't really say I dislike him so much anymore, like I understand where he's coming from

he's still a dumbass for not realising that Xie Lian genuinely did want to be friends all this time though, but then again, if I met someone as good as Xie Lian I would be a little skeptical too lol

this whole scene is low-key hilarious, they're both dumbasses

scratch that, all three of them - Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin - they're all dumbasses

‘Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??”’- I'm crying

okay now I'm starting to understand where all the shipping of Feng Xin and Mu Qing comes from, this whole bit with Feng Xin carrying Mu Qing and them bickering is kind of adorable

Mu Qing and Feng Xin definitely give the vibe of Xie Lian's brothers who don't really approve of Xie Lian's boyf in the first place but still don't want him to be harmed for the sake of Xie Lian - I actually love their friendship okay, however much history they have between them all

and now we get the rest of Hua Cheng's story!! I'm so ready for this

no fucking way - so Hua Cheng could have been a god??

he definitely chose the ghost life for the aesthetic lol

I love the trope when couples fight together as a team, like all the wordless communication and synchronisation

‘Because he wasn’t as good as Hua Cheng thought him to be.’

that's the thing though, Hua Cheng has seen every bit of Xie Lian and knows that he's imperfect, he understands him and sees him for who he is - Xie Lian, don't you understand? Hua Cheng cares about none of it, all he cares about is you, its all he's ever cared about

‘“Your Highness, don’t be afraid. Remember? The one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you. No matter what’s happened in the past, I will never leave you. You can tell me anything.”’

nooo not ruoye!! :(

‘He couldn’t help but wonder—perhaps, to be defeated by someone, to end these relentless days of brokeness and madness, was possibly Jun Wu’s wish deep down.’

Xie Lian you are truly one of a kind - “shattering boulders on chest” lmao

‘All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.’

fucking finally!! it's taken Xie Lian way too long to realise the truth lol

‘Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness. If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

He said all this as the maple red of his robes slowly faded away.’

fuck me they better have a happy ending after all that or I'm going to scream

Jian Lan and Feng Xin deserved better, they all deserved so much better

I love how every little story arc is getting some sort of resolution as we near the end

‘Hua Cheng waited for him for over eight hundred years, so what did it matter if he waited for Hua Cheng for another eight hundred more? It could be a thousand years, ten thousand years, and he would still wait, and continue to wait.’

‘A smile hung on Xie Lian’s face, thinking, he wasn’t the only one who had fallen.’ - but I'm also bawling

‘Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.’

final chapter let's go!! but also I don't want this to end

love that they've returned to Puqi shrine it's so wholesome

I'm screaming - this definitely means Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have already slept together lol - and Feng Xin and Mu Qing are just there like ‘we really didn't need to know that’

the elusive He Xuan??

I am living for domestic HuaLian

“I am forever your most devoted believer.”

---

after finishing the book:

screaming crying laughing I can't believe its over

this was a genuine masterpiece

also reading the post-script I think MXTX is legitimately a genius like wow, I aspire to be as talented as she is

(rated 5 stars)

---

my annotation system

[anxious-little-faicye]

Dear Unus Annus:

Hi. It's been a while huh. Another year, another 365 days have passed, another chance to remember you. Because today you have a whole community at your feet dressed up in black and white, remembering what it once was. Today we cry, we mourn, we laugh, we tell stories of stupidly insane videos, we come together once again as the family we used to be, because today we don't forget. We will never forget. How could we? Pee sauna (god why Evan), the dance of Italy, three mile mark, meaty claws, scp amy, camp unus annus, the grip was loose, heehoo, and so on so forth.

Yeah, we wouldn't even dare to forget those memories, because at the end of the day that's what matters. I hate to bring the cliche phrase we Unus Annus fans are tired of quoting but, it's right: "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened". Of course we're allowed to feel like shit because yeah, it hurts. Every last bit of it, hurts. The good, the bad, the funny bits, the sad bits, everything. But like Mark said... that is the beauty of it. It was just a Youtube channel trying to send a message to the world, and my God the world replied back. It managed to impact us all, to cut through us, to give us a new perspective on life, to help us on our darkest times- and is all because a couple of friends wanted to say something. Something worth remembering. Something that years down the line, people would still talk about. Something so powerful, yet so simple.

Memento mori. Remember you will die.

... so don't waste any second of it. Yes, not every moment can be this huge life-changing, meaningful thing, there are gonna be some things that simply are just that, a breeze that flies by, unimportant. But I think those are the most impactful, the type you do not really appreciate until you lose. The small details that make everything worth it, that gives life a purpose, meaning. We have to make the most of what we have with what we can, because one day it will be all gone, one day you'll wake up and realize you have lost it all. And when that happens. Well.

Smile because it happened. What really, truly matters isn't the fact that is gone... Is that it once was. We once were.

And as for me? There is so much I want to tell you, so much that has changed. I have changed. Evolved. Turned into what I hope a better person. Because this year was the worst one of my life, and I wish I were exaggerating. Anxiety crisis after anxiety crisis after anxiety crisis, countless panic and anxiety attacks, physical symptoms that could freeze even the strongest of men- palpitations that wouldn't stop, numbness on my face and fingers, a feeling like I couldn't talk without messing languages up, and above all... A constant feeling that I was going to die.

Every night I went to bed thinking "this is it, I won't open my eyes tomorrow". Every day I woke up with my heart pounding in my ears and my limbs frozen in fear for a threat that didn't even exist. And the pressure on my chest, God, that fucking pressure... I never felt such an anguish as that before. It was debilitating, exhausting, frustrating. I felt terrified, I simply could not live. Locked once again on my house, but also in my own mind- the worst prison a person could have. I stoped everything.

That until I realized what was going on: I needed to let it all out. And so I spoke with the people I needed to talk, started medication, worked on myself after 18 years of life... And I began to live again. To feel alive. I found my own voice, my burning flame inside that drives me to heal, to become a better human being each day, to never give up. Hell, before i hated going out, now you won't see me in my home. I hanged out with friends more, I talked through every single issue I had, I grew.

Now see me here, Unus Annus. Two years after you left us, after I ran away from my abusive household, one year after I started with my anxiety crisis and the start -even if I didn't knew at the moment- of my healing journey. I am a new person, I grew in every way, shape and form you can imagine, I died. I died so the new me could be reborn from the ashes, I died so my inner child could let go, I died so the anguish could be left in the past were it belongs. I died to face death itself. Look her in the eyes and say "I accept you". I'm not going to say I still don't fear it, but I know it is not my time yet. I know when the time comes, I'll be ready. I know death, death makes everything worth it. The fun times with my friends and the activities as a camp counselor at my school and the fireplace we hang around after putting the kids to sleep with the rest of my co-counselors and the laying down with my best friend forgetting about our problems for a bit and the laughs and the pain and the tears and the everything, the nothing, the joy of being alive. The same joy Unus Annus taught me.

If I am here standing today is because two people decided to start a channel that would have a begining, a middle, and an end. And that end, that moment where the Livestream cut off and a million people were left to stare at the void of a black screen, that is the lesson I take from it. That is the moment that saved me. That is the moment that taught me that nothing is temporary, so you better make the most out of it. Enjoy, enjoy for all those times you couldn't, never waste a single opportunity to say what you think and do what you feel is right and risk it all for that crazy idea you have and live. Live because life is a beautiful thing l, and after 18 years on this Earth I can finally see that. Live like there's no tomorrow because fuck, there might not be one. Live because no one will give you back the seconds you missed out. Live. Love because you deserve. Live because there is no because, just for the sake of living.

Live, live remembering you will die. The end will come, and when it does... Go out with a goddamn bang. Go knowing it was all worth it.

Life was worth it.

Unus Annus was worth it.

So thank you. I know each time I do one of these memorial letters I say the same thing but, I don't care. Thank you Mark, thank you Ethan, thank you Amy, thank you Evan, thank you Lixian, thank you Marcus, thank you Rachel, thank you Vincent, thank every single person that had a role to play so that the insane ass project of this channel could be made into a Thing. Thank you for creating such an impactful message that has affected me in the best of ways. Thank you for saving my life, being there for me when all I needed was a reason to keep going, and knowing that another Unus Annus video would come tomorrow and that I had to be there for the ending pushed me through one of my darkest times. Thank you for never giving up even with a FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC in the way. Thank you for taking the time to remember this channel in each anniversary. Thank you for being a friend, a counselor, a distraction in the middle of pain, a father, a brother, a safe space to be in. Thank you for creating such a wonderful community, I met some of my best friends here. Thank you for inspiring me to push my work out there, to never give up on my projects, to pursue my dreams even if they are absurd- because who knows, that crazy idea everyone is telling you is imposible could be the best decision. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for everything.

I miss you, and I will continue to miss you every day of my life, but I promise I will always smile when I do. You were and always will be a legend, like it or not. You'll always be in my heart, always, until the day we can meet again in whatever weird way death works.

Thank you @crankgameplays, thank you @markiplier. Thank you for the adventure of my life.

Memento mori, until the next year,

Unus Annus.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

єxτrατєrrєsτriαℓ (ραrк sєσทgнωα) rατє∂

ραiriทg: αℓiєท! ραrк sєσทgнωα (ατєєʑ)× нυмα��! rєα∂єr (ƒємαℓє)

gєทrє: αทgsτ, ƒℓυƒƒ, sмυτ, ∂ysτσρiαท/ sci-ƒi/ ƒαทταsy αυ

sυм��αry: ωнєท τнєy cαмє αท∂ iทvα∂є∂ τнєir ρℓαทєτ, нυмαทiτy ∂єscєท∂є∂ iทτσ cнασs αท∂ iทsαทiτy, нυทτiทg τнєм ∂σωท αท∂ vσωiทg τσ rєταкє τнєir нσмє. нσωєvєr, y/ท ∂σєsท'τ вєℓiєvє τнєy αrє ∂αทgєrσυs, ทστ αƒτєr sєєiทg σทє υρ cℓσsє αท∂ ρєrsσทαℓ.

ωσr∂ cσυทτ: 5к+

ωαrทiทgs: ∂ysτσρiαท sσciєτy, viσℓєทcє, αℓℓυsiσทs τσ ∂єατн, мαss ∂єsτrυcτiσท, єxτrατєrrєsτriαℓ вєiทgs, sℓigнτ нyρทστisм, кiทєτic ρσωєrs, sυρєrทατυrαℓ scєทєs, sєxυαℓ scєทєs iทcℓυ∂iทg вriєƒ вrєαsτ ρℓαy, ƒiทgєriทg, αท∂ υทρrστєcτє∂ sσƒτ, vαทiℓℓα iทτєrcσυrsє (αℓωαys υsє ρrστєcτiσท єvєท iƒ yσυ'rє ƒυcкiทg αท є.τ).

iทsρirατiσท: є.τ вy кατy ρєrry

ταgℓisτ: @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @galaxteez @brie02 @a-soft-hornytiny @deja-vux @rvse-miingi @daniblogs164 @couchpotatoaniki

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The world forever remembered the day when the sun suddenly went dark when it wasn't even close to being evening yet. The darkness that shrouded the city made them anxious, which then turned to fear when shining beams of light suddenly passed through the sky and fell onto various parts of the earth. At first they thought they were shooting stars or even asteroids that were there to destroy the planet. But alas, masses of rock from space don't have a perfectly oval shape and neither do they have blinking lights covering most of the base. And they certainly don't have strange beings coming out of them. When humanity saw the otherworldly creatures, they immediately went into panic, running for their lives, not wanting to find out or not if they were intelligent, friendly or were cold blooded killers. They simply shut themselves away, causing chaos amongst their land and hurting each other more than anything else.

Y/N definitely remembered that day but for different reasons. At the time, she was in the outskirts of the city, perched on top of a tree as she usually did to escape the bustling city life she was used to. Half daydreaming and half asleep, her leg swung idly as the warmth of the sun casted down on her face. She was jolted fully awake when something like thunder resonated from the heavens, her eyes immediately finding her surroundings to be pitch black. She squinted her eyes, trying to adjust her sight. A colossal spaceship landed near where she was, causing the earth to shake and she let out a piercing scream when she tumbled down from the tree, her knee getting scraped in the fall.

She let out a pained groan as she tried to get back up, but her legs gave out from how badly she was hurting. Looking up, her eyes went wide when a door opened from the ship, cold smoke blasting out and some of it reaching where she was, making her cough softly. She held her breath when several figures started pouring out of the ship, all of them scattering towards different directions. They all donned the same white uniform, their faces covered by a gaiter styled face covering in the same color. When one of them started nearing where she was, her feet scrambled to get up and hide. Only managing to take two steps before she tripped once more, the extraterrestrial turned his head in the direction of the sound and proceeded to go investigate.

Realizing that she had been caught, Y/N gripped onto the trunk of the tree, nails scraping so harshly that she felt blood trickling down. Finally able to stand upright, she turned once more to run but was stopped when two hands slammed against the tree, trapping her in place. The poor girl trembled in fear as two cold eyes looked straight at her. Scanning her body, the being's eyes took in her damaged knee, blood pouring out as some of the skin and tissue was badly torn off. Getting down on one knee, the being took off one its gloves that covered its hand before reaching out to press against her wound. Y/N flinched when they made contact with her scrape and nearly kicked them away but when a purple light emanated from their hand she stood still to see what would happen. When the otherworldly creature pulled its hand away, she was in shock when she saw that her knee was completely healed, not a scratch as if nothing had happened, as if she didn't suffer a nasty fall.

"How...how did you..?" She whipped her head towards the person or non-person in front of her, had gotten up and was slowly creeping their body closer to hers.

The being murmured out some words in a language she did not recognize, and she knew it wasn't just caused by the covering around their face. She gasped sharply when they suddenly pressed her back onto the tree, hands firmly keeping her in place. Once establishing that she would not run away anytime soon, the extraterrestrial lifted one hand up and pulled its covering off. Y/N was speechless as she gazed up into the most beautiful and perfect face she had ever seen. The being's face seemed to be perfectly sculpted to perfection by gods themselves. Blade straight nose, chiseled jawline and sharp angled eyes perfectly complimented each other and distinguished them as someone not from her world.

Before she could even comprehend what they were doing, she felt their hands cup her cheeks as they pressed their pink and soft lips against her own. When she tried to pull away, the creature only clung her tighter to them, their kiss becoming more forceful, tongue dipping inside her mouth which had her moaning. It seemed the extraterrestrial noticed the effect they were having on her since she could feel them smirking against her lips, and indeed they were still smirking when they pulled away and looked back at her. They curiously studied her face, as if they were trying to figure out something.

"Y/N? Is it?"

She was startled when she heard them say something she understood and even more so that they knew her name.

"You actually....speak my language?" She asked them.

The extraterrestrial chuckled softly.

"I do now."

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8 months had passed ever since the aliens first invaded the world, and things only went from bad to worse. The government fell in the hands of civilians who decided to take control after they failed in not only giving them answers but in failing to drive the intruders away. Without a proper leader to govern them, the people just ran rampant through the streets, criminal activity and violence escalating each day that passed. The only real form of leadership or organization that still was existed was the Resistance force, a group of individuals who had gathered together to fight off all the aliens, which always resulted in unnecessary attacks and bloodshed. And unfortunately for Y/N, her own father was one of the ones leading that force.

She shook her head everytime she watched him and all the other people march off in search of extraterrestrials, hoping to demolish them once and for all. Every time they went out, very few returned, but that wasn't the part that worried her.

What worried her was imagining if her friend was one of the few extraterrestrials that had been taken down, because as she'd learn, they were definitely capable of being killed. She let out a sigh and closed the blinds of the kitchen window to continue her task of washing dishes. It seemed that was her life from now on, attending to the house while her dad was away fighting off beings who were actually harmless as she soon learned. But of course, she could never say anything about it, one because no one would believe her given how brainwashed and unreceptive they were and two, which was the most important one, she had promised her otherworldly friend not to spill anything about the mission they were currently carrying out and she intended to keep that promise.

"Aliens! They're here!"

Hearing the frantic commotion outside that was followed by a loud blaring of sirens and shotguns being fired, Y/N ducked and stayed away from any windows or any glass. She slowly crawled her way out the door and went outside, as stupid as it was but whenever there was an attack such as these ones, she always went out to ensure no child was wandering the streets and accidentally got caught in the action. She didn't care that she was risking her own life in doing so.

She carefully ran through alleys, taking cover behind walls or dropping to the ground when she heard shots being fired. It had become a lot easier for her now than it was in the beginning. Peeking her head out, she was relieved to see that most of the civilians had already cleared themselves out. But her relieve was short lived when she saw a white uniformed figure fall in the middle of the street, their hand clutching their left side which was stained blue, clear indication they were seriously wounded. Even with their face covered, she recognized their eyes right away.

"Seonghwa." She whispered softly, panic rising in her when she heard more shots being fired in his direction.

Looking at the other side, her face paled when she saw that it was none other than her own dad who was pursuing him, gun in his hand as he reloaded bullets in them. She looked back towards Seonghwa, who was trying to desperately heal himself faster, but was running out of time. With her dad getting closer and aiming his gun right at him, Y/N didn't even think and bolted out of her hiding place, heading straight towards her father.

"Dad don't!" She exclaimed as she tipped over his gun, causing him to shoot instead towards the opposite direction. Both of them hit the pavement with the strength she used to make sure he didn't hurt her friend.

"Y/N! Get off me!" Her father grunted as he shoved her off his body. Grabbing a hold of his gun once more, he made way to aim once more at his enemy but unfortunately he was too late. When he looked back, he was surrounded by two other extraterrestrials, one of them holding a small device that he threw onto the ground which helped them teleport out of there instantly, leaving behind nothing but a faint cloud of smoke.

Livid at having his prey taken away from his hands, he turned his attention back to his daughter who was barely standing up. When she lifted her head up, she was instantly struck back to the floor as the brute force of her father's fist against her face knocked her down.

"You stupid bitch! You let them get away!"

Each kick laid against her stomach was felt not only by her but by the extraterrestrial being that had connected his mind with hers. From miles away, inside one of the space crafts, he cried out in pain and clutched his abdomen as he felt each and every one of the violent acts laid on her body. With raging and glowing eyes, he pulled off all the wires and needles connected to his body and stormed out of the room, ignoring the protests coming out of the medical team that was tending to his wounds.

"Seonghwa! Stop! You're not healed yet!" One of his comrades tried to stop him.

"I don't care Hongjoong! Y/N is in trouble and I need to save her!" He tried to pry off the other male's fingers off him.

"You can't go! It's too risky. You'll get caught." He tried to reason with Seonghwa.

"If I don't go she could die! She saved me and now I must go save her!"

Having left with no other choice, Hongjoong used his supernatural strength to pin his friend to the wall, keeping him locked in there with no way to escape.

"Yes you must, but now is not the time! You're hurt, if you go now you'll only get yourself killed and then what will happen to her?"

Seonghwa's lip quivered in rage and hurt. He was unable to speak let alone move. He looked down at the floor and wept softly, his mind filled with images of her bruised and bloodied body in agony and pain after the beating she just endured. He knew in such a state, he couldn't even contact her telepathically.

"There's only a few more days until we have to leave back to the home planet. Our mission will be completed and if you still want..... you can take her back with you."

Seonghwa whipped his head up at Hongjoong's words, but before he could get his hopes up, Hongjoong raised a hand.

"Only if she wants to. You can't force, hypnotize nor abduct her. Am I clear?"

Seonghwa immediately nodded.

"Yes Hongjoong."

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Y/N laid in her bed, body still sore even though 2 days had already passed since that awful day. Her sides would ache if she put too much strain on them, but at least she was finally able to walk again. What she really wanted to know was how Seonghwa was doing. Was he all right? Was he too injured? Did he make it? Or did he..?

She pulled her blanket over her face to keep herself from thinking such things. She only wished he'd talk to her like he usually did at night. It was funny considering the first time she heard his voice in her head she was beyond freaked out, but now she had grown accustomed to it, sometimes even scolding him for bugging her so much.

"Are you awake?"

She couldn't keep the smile of her face as she finally heard his voice after so long. But wanting to play it cool, she forced a huff out of her mouth.

"I am now no thanks to you weirdo." She responded, her voice sounding grumpy and making Seonghwa chuckle.

"You know I'm not that knowledgeable with your language yet, so I'm not sure what that word means, but I'm deducing it's not a compliment." He asserted.

"How can you still not know what some words mean? Didn't you suck the language out of me when you slipped your tongue inside my mouth months ago? Wasn't that enough?" She chastised him, yet her cheeks flushed pink as she recalled the first time they met and he greeted her with a kiss, which she ended up finding out was a method his kind employed to be able to understand and talk to beings that spoke differently from them.

"We only grasp the basics, our abilities only stretch so far." He calmly explained.

Y/N sat up and tugged at different ends of her blanket.

"Does that mean you've gone around on other planets kissing other people?" She questioned him, her voice tinted with a hint of jealousy at the thought of Seonghwa kissing someone else.

"I may have kissed other kinds, but I can assure you that you're the only one I've used tongue with." He smirked to himself as he read her thoughts.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" She felt bitter knowing he had indeed gone around kissing other people.

"Well no... but that little action helped create the mind link with you. Lip to lip contact with another creature helps us communicate with them, adding tongue is a way to communicate and connect telepathically with the individual. Hence why I have been talking to you and vice versa without having to utter a single word. That and I can see what's going on in that tiny head of yours." He finished with a suspicious snort that unsettled her.

"Does that mean... you've been reading my thoughts all these months?" She fidgeted nervously.

"Some, not all. Although I've accidentally stumbled upon some that are rather..... interesting if you ask me."

Y/N whined as she slumped her face into her pillow and let out a high pitched scream. She felt so embarrased knowing he probably knew some of the explicit thoughts she's had at times that involved him.

"Do me a favor and take one of your laser guns and just vaporize me out of this world." She begged him.

"I'm afraid protocol doesn't allow me to vaporize any individuals without proper cause. So you're stuck with knowing that I know that you want me to-"

"Ok stop! Please don't finish that sentence and pretend like what you saw in my head wasn't real." She sighed.

"As you wish."

Seonghwa stayed quiet for a while, biting his lower lip as he pondered about how to approach his next subject. He knew it was now or never.

"Hey Y/N?" He asked softly.

"Yeah?" She responded.

"Can you..... do you think you could meet me in the place we first met?"

Y/N looked out her window and saw that it was past the curfew established by the Resistance, no doubt most of them standing guard at every street and corner, making sure everyone stayed indoors while keeping watch.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to get out without being caught."

"I thought just as much."

Before she knew it, Seonghwa appeared right in front of her bed, making her shriek as she pulled her blanket to cover body up. She was about to ask him what was going on, but he was faster as he took hold of her wrist before transporting them both in the outskirts of the city in the blink of an eye. Y/N cowered and shivered when she felt the night breeze blow, her arms wrapping around herself since she had gone to bed wearing nothing but black panties and a flimsy white tank top that left little to the imagination for anyone who saw her chest. And seeing the extraterrestrial looking intently at her, she knew he was taking in her state of near undress.

"Please tell me you don't have laser vision that let's you see under my clothes." She squinted at him.

"Some of my kind do posses that ability, but I'm not one of them....." Stepping closer to her, he tilted her chin up and grinned smugly.

"Unfortunately."

"Why you little perv-" She was cut off mid sentence when Seonghwa inexplicably wrapped his arms around her, holding her in a tight embrace.

"You're cold, let me warm you up."

She indeed started to feel heat being produced from his body which started to flow into her own. It felt so nice, not only having him act as a personal heater but to just have him hold her after having to go through endless shit day after day. Closing her eyes, she rested her head on his shoulder, slowly drifting off to sleep right then and there. One of Seonghwa's hands was busying itself by softly brushing her hair, being careful not to accidentally pull any out. He stayed like that for a few minutes before finally blurting out:

"The mission is finished. We'll be leaving at dawn tomorrow."

Y/N felt her heart sink when she heard him say that.

"So....bringing me here was so you could say goodbye?" She lifted her head off his shoulders and stared at the ground with a blank expression.

"Well it depends..."

Y/N raised an eyebrow when he paused.

"Depends on what?" She urged him to finish.

"If you wanna leave this place and come with me." He offered, his eyes growing rounder as he hoped she'd say yes.

Y/N looked at him in disbelief.

"Are you being serious right now or is this some kind of alien joke?"

Seonghwa nodded in earnest.

"Deadly serious. I want you to come to my home with me. I know.... I hope you'll like it. It's not that different from your planet, although you know the technology is more advanced and flying cars and what not..."

When he saw that she wasn't budging, Seonghwa gulped nervously.

"But the location I live in is a more... tropical one. The water is sparkling blue, the glittering sand is warm to the touch, and the weather is always cool and refreshing. Wouldn't you like to live in a place like that with me?" He spoke those last two words out softly but he knew she definitely heard them.

He could hear and see her thoughts, debating whether or not it would be wise to leave with him or not. She looked behind her towards the city she lived in, almost in complete ruin with possibly no hope of redemption.

"There's nothing left for me here, is there?" She asked to herself rather than to him.

When she looked back at him, there was still a hint of doubt in her mind. Clasping his hands on her head, Seonghwa's thumbs rubbed circles on her temples as his orbs started turning a light yellow color.

"Please come with me. Stay with me and live with me." He spoke out softly, his voice having a light melodic tune to it.

Y/N felt herself getting immensely drawn to him, her thoughts beginning to fill up with images of staying by his side. It was as if she was getting pulled to him against her will.

"Wait..... Are you using hypnosis on me?!" She exclaimed in anger, pushing him away when she realized what was going on.

"It was worth a try." He admitted in defeat, head hung low in shame.

"Since you failed miserably..... I'll spare you the humiliation and accept to go with you."

Seonghwa widened his eyes when he heard her.

"Wait, for real?"

Y/N responded by placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Don't make me regret my decision though or I'll steal your laser gun and vaporize you." She warned him.

Lacing his fingers with hers, Seonghwa nudged her to follow him.

"I promise you won't."

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Y/N shifted uncomfortably on the bed she was currently in, alternating between wrapping herself with the blanket and kicking it off a second later. She was still in the middle of her fight with the covers that she failed to notice the door opened and her current roommate walk into their small compartment. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her struggle with an amusing smirk.

"Having fun there?" He broke her out of her trance.

"I can't sleep, I feel like I'm developing claustrophobia from mostly staying inside these 4 walls, and I'm still suffering from motion sickness." She grumbled, 1 week and she had still not adjusted to being inside an intergalactic spacecraft with no one but extraterrestrial beings to keep her company.

"Anything else you'd like to add?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow.

Y/N pouted her lips and stared up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"I'm lonely and want company?"

Unable to resist, Seonghwa faked an exhausted sigh as he began taking off his jacket.

"I'm off my piloting duties anyway, might as well get some rest before my next shift."

Finally happy at having someone by her side, Y/N made some space on the bed for Seonghwa to fit in, although she wondered if it would be big enough for the both of them since it was a rather compacted area. When she looked back at Seonghwa, she nearly wheezed when she saw him sliding right next to her completely bare. Catching her staring, Seonghwa continued on as if it was the most normal thing in the universe.

"What? Don't you humans go to sleep the same way we do?"

Y/N covered her red cheeks and turned her face away from him.

"N-no....we wear clothes when sleeping." She explained, body heating up from embarrassment. Seonghwa replied with a slight gruff.

"Seems impractical."

Wrapping one arm around her body, Seonghwa pulled Y/N down on the bed and held her close to him, his breath fanning against the nape of her neck.

"Try to rest." He suggested.

Y/N wondered how on earth was she supposed to rest knowing the extraterrestrial being was pressing his bare chest against her back? She tried hard not to move in fear of accidentally brushing along his cock.

"Wait, do aliens have dicks? I didn't really get a good look between his legs. I just saw abs and looked away."

Her thoughts began spiraling deeper and deeper into not so pure territory. She began wondering about Seonghwa's anatomy. Do his kind even have reproductive organs? Do they even have sex? What if he could produce tentacles out of his body that would suction onto parts of her body like some of the kinky hentai she watched a long time ago? That thought aroused her more than it should. How would it feel to have Seonghwa's tentacles latch onto her nipples and suckle them as another one slithered inside her core and probe around until it made a mess of her? She clenched her thighs inadvertently as her mind started to produce more and more dangerous scenes.

She was startled when she heard the alien behind her laugh softly.

"I hate to interrupt your sexual fantasy foolish human girl, but my kind do not possess the ability to produce the slimy limbs that you are imagining."

She had completely forgotten that their minds were still linked and if he wanted to, he could still read her mind. She buried her face deeper in the pillow, wanting to cry out in shame.

"I do apologize for that inconvenience, I'm afraid the closest you can get is my hands around you."

Y/N half gasped half moaned when she felt one of Seonghwa's large hands snake inside her sweater and cup her breast. His thumb tweaked at her nipple, giving it experimental tugs and pinches until finally settling for simply rubbing them since it seemed to produce more effects on her body. He listened intently to the way her breath hitched with every brush of his thumb and squeeze of her soft skin, feeling her body start to get warmer just for him.

"Isn't this what you wanted? I remember you often fantasized about having my hands all over you." He recalled all those times where he refused to go to sleep because he was too busy prying into her erotic thoughts that included him.

"Y-yes..." She breathed out.

"Did you only want them here?"

Y/N whined and shook her head.

"No.... want them- want them..." She felt embarrased to say it out loud even if she did have Seonghwa groping her chest, so she hoped he'd read her mind and give her what she wanted. Obviously he got the hint since he moved his hand and slipped it inside her shorts. Pushing her panties aside, Y/N groaned when he dipped two fingers past her slick folds. She was so unbelievably wet that even with the slow movements he was making, they could still faintly hear the squealching sounds that were being produced.

"Right here? This where you want them?" Adding a third finger inside, he drove them deeper inside her body as their pace intensified, the slopping noises becoming louder.

Y/N bit down on the sleeve of her sweater to muffle the moans that were spilling out, afraid of anyone hearing what was going on.

"Don't worry about anyone else, just focus on the way my fingers are invading your most intimate places. Tell me does it feel good? Do you like it?" He asked as his lips kissed across the side of her neck.

"Feels so good- I love it." She sighed blissfully as his fingers continued to swirl around her hole, tips curling so they could graze at her g-spot.

"Want to feel something even better?"

Y/N hummed in affirmation and allowed Seonghwa to move her onto her back. He surprised her when all he needed to do was tap twice against her clothes and they immediately vanished from her body, leaving her completely naked under him.

"How long have you been waiting to do that?" She eyed him suspiciously when his lips curled upwards in a cheeky grin.

"Far too long."

Cupping her cheeks, Seonghwa kissed her, almost like the first time when he came to her home, but this time the kiss was more passionate and full of raw emotions. He took his time and didn't slip his tongue inside her mouth, instead he wanted to savor how soft and plump her lips felt against his own, pulling away every few minutes only to catch his breath before diving back in to mold his mouth over hers. They were so lost in their heated kissing and tangled bodies, that they forgot they were both in their most intimate state until Seonghwa's member brushed along her slippery folds.

"Oh god-." Y/N stammered as her hips grinded up to feel more of Seonghwa, who had a proud smirk on his face.

"Are you going to be ok with an extraterrestrial being breeding you with his cock?"

Y/N grimaced slightly at his choice of words.

"Is that what you guys call it?"

"Well what do you guys call it?" He questioned.

"We like to call it fucking." She giggled.

Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows as his hands lifted her legs up to wrap them around his waist.

"I don't like it, sounds too impersonal and distant."

The cry coming out of Y/N's throat cracked and only half sounded when Seonghwa stuffed her full of his cock, his size stretching her out in a delicious sting.

"I prefer to get as close as possible."

Taking hold of her hands, he placed them on top of his shoulders before proceeding to rock his hips against hers. Y/N clung onto him as if her life depended on it. She closed her eyes and let her body succumb to his. Every touch from him was magnetizing, and she completely melted when his lips sought hers once more, a cosmic sensation pouring into her. Her nails dug onto the flesh of his back whilst her legs tangled themselves tighter around his waist, wanting to keep him near her as she started to feel a knot unraveling at the pit of her stomach, similar to the ones she'd feel all those nights she daydreamed about having him close to her. Only this time the feeling was more electrifying and intense, almost as if it was magic. Her eyes shut even tighter as the knot came loose and her lips began spilling out chants of Seonghwa's name as her juices flowed out of her body and coated his member that was still sliding deep inside her, not stopping so it could further heightened the sensation she was going through.

Feeling her release herself all over him, it was only a few moments later that Seonghwa himself vibrated against her body and filled her core with his own cum. His body started to faintly glow due to the rush he just felt at being so intimately connected with another person, the pulse in his heart beating so rapidly he thought it would burst any minute. Stroking her hair in a gentle manner, he pressed his forehead against hers, panting softly as he layed his body on top of hers, careful not to put too much of his weight on her.

"Never in my life did I ever believe that on one of our scouting missions would I meet someone like you."

Pulling back so he could look at her beautiful face, Seonghwa smiled with adoration and fondness at his loving partner

"Yet here I am, going back home with the brightest star in the universe."

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[indomitablemegnolia]

In this petty paced drudgery that called life it is trusted that time is linear; it is trusted that the setting of the sun will happen in just about twelve hours after it rises; it is trusted that each day when it is ended, it is done; ah, but not all time works that way. Some days are nine hundred and eighty hours long marches through the arid deserts of the unknown with not a drop of water for sustenance; some days are torturous hours sitting in a waiting room on hard plastic chairs to hear the same bad news repeatedly; some days are millions of years long with just the droning ticking-n-tocking of a clock and not enough life or will to sit up or even breathe; and some days you recognize the sinuous travels of time as it curves and bends, turning loops in a devious path of graceful treachery, it loops around repeating, crossing over on itself, and winding its way along those days; I know I have been experiencing these days thousands of times; the only thing that changes is pieces of conversations, a breeze for a half hour during the end of the day, possibly the clothes I wear, but not always; in all actuality, it never changes, not one little bit does this horrible hell alter. Then I feel that time passes again; there is no, how long; I have no watch; and time like this can’t be marked on any watch anyway.

Then, that Goddamn the date, 10/10, how can so much stack up on a set of numbers, the day I was nearly murdered, 10/10 the day I lost my home, 10/10, even just he idea of 10 makes me want to vomit; this year it hit me like a falling mountain 18 years. Anger flared; hate, god I hate, suddenly the tremors and the night terrors made sense, the headaches, the unexplained bruising, the feeling of dread on even a sunny day, panic attacks from accidentally using three coffee filters instead of just the one; then checking the weather told me what my subconscious was screaming for weeks; I realize; why am I always slow to realize, as always in this temporal loop it hits me like a 2x4 in the temple; that no, time doesn’t always proceed dutifully, uniformly, minute per minute each sixty seconds long into eternity; the past in horribly living memory comes to me; the screams, the pain, ripping, the scent of blood mixed with terrible human smell; then I am stuck in that temporal loop that just repeats until I reach that one day where the loop resets, replays for what seems like an eternity of only me stuck in a solitary cell and when I am trying to back myself down talking out the fear, anxiety and pain that is not really there but I still felt it as if the blood hadn’t yet dried; there is no distinction between past and present, flashbacks and demons come to torment me; Fate herself participates for the, as she calls it, fun part, it is nothing but this hellish illusion, a masquerade of pain; flashes of past creep in even while I am doing something as inane as driving, causing an ache in the current; I watch even the few I trust to know everything laugh uncomfortably as I joke about what happened, what happens and this little place in the universe I call my existence, and I know that I can not and will not call present; for if this is a gift from god, I know he isn’t god and I needn’t worry, this was a penance that I bare for bad deeds in another life; I know the next rising of the sun will only continue this; there is no yesterday, today or tomorrow they are just a connection of moments in a never-ending monotony that kills what is left of my soul and confirms to me that, yes, there is a hell, and I didn’t have to die to find it.

God I realize other things as well as if I didn’t have enough to hold my tears back; there have often been accused of not feeling and I have even wished that I didn’t feel, but I feel that a lot, actually, unlike in the movies when this realization comes there are no bags to pack, no plan to form, no zombies to kill or alien invasions to counter; there is no urgent telegram or speeding car at midnight; there is no help even in the flagging form of a beguiling contortionist or an out of luck hit man; this is just a dark legacy of immutable horrors of the past; and this realization doesn’t come with space nor time to undo. I always would perk myself up with the idea, that I want to be alive before my death that I know is coming and soon and it will be long and filled with much pain; I see the beauty and the possible in life, though I have always had to look at the small and intractable to see possibility; I tried to live in the idea that unlikely does happen, but now at my age, in my state, and being me, there is none. What shocks the virtuous philosopher that lives in the A.M. station in my brain and almost delights the guerilla poet shock-talk D.J. that mine most unpoetic of all existence; realizing that better days are gone. I am oddly acquiesced to the idea; there will be no great love this lifetime, possibly even in the next, no guarantees; no kisses, god I loved kisses; no possibility of warmth, caring; in truth no one will ever love me, gag, how very Jane Austin. In truth I had already assumed that as it was I would turn out to be one of those unsmiling acid-faced women that sit behind little desks in offices, stamping received dates on accounts receivable invoices and that was fine; though I had always hoped for just a someone would spend a the small number of hours I have with me, lingering, smiling at me, genuine laughs as we walk slowly to the door uncomfortable in the leaving reminders to bundle up and warm hug as you forget your scarf as a reason to come back, simple and stupid as it is. I was never one to plan or dream of weddings, though I might have a humdinger of a funeral if anyone were to come; no anniversaries...no careers...no children. God, I never was good with kids, but I imagined I would be a good parent... now, the closest I come is cradling a kitten as he sleeps, I pull him tight and rock; I am a mad cat lady, who hopes for 6 more months.

I understand that no end is an ending, but I am now too old, soo very old the 198 .8 years I have passed in my 40, weigh too heavy; no drug can lessen this pain, no alcohol can dull these edges, but in so being free of the distraction what did I learn? Only the kinds of things hidden in post-apocalyptic stories. Bradbury and Orwell cover it better...

Why? Why did I live this life, I am not sure, I suppose someone had to... I am not even a blip to humanity; a balancing of the scales so to speak; and still the universe rejects me?

Perhaps I am right, and hell is here, how very disappointing.

In all this vasty universe, I had three wishes... god, why keep them safe now. A home of my own, a place I don't have to beg for the honour of paying so much; happiness, simple kiss, stupid wake up dig in dirt, grow things, build things, frustrated, stupid, happiness; and a place for my words... Why let them out on a day like this? Why is it any different than waiting for birthday candles or a coin flung midway on a bridge for a troll to grant or New Year’s eve... as none of those panned out, I am going to the day of dead and dying, if the gods can't hear, possibly the fallen can; although I hold hope at bay with a cattle prod and a 3-foot sword. This is my truth… I suppose there are two kinds of truth; the kind that lights the way for all to see, the second warms the heart; the first being science the second being art; as this is neither this may well be just the cautionary tale to pay attention in school or mix that phthalo blue a little better; we are all connected in a never-ending circle. Everything is connected...

Fuuck

@keeper0fthestars @pedeka @writernotwaiting @iamhisgloriouspurpose @anastasiaoftheironwood