#Sean’s sad ask box

[aninklingof]

This made me wheeze

Pfffft—

It’s feccin accurate that’s for damn sure 😂

[lover-girl-estxx]

Sean x reader, him having a mental breakdown and the reader tries to comfort him

Sad fluff

Relax

Sean pulled into the driveway than came into the house going right past me to the room "Sean!" I yelled to him. nothing. I threw the blanket off me on the couch and got up going down the hall "Baby?" I knocked on the bedroom door. Nothing. "Sean i'm gonna come in" I opened the door he was pacing back and front his hands on his head.

"whats wrong?" I put my hands on his waist "nothing" his voice cracked throwing my hands off him then kept pacing "Sean" I grabbed his shoulders pushing him on the bed, he stood back up. I stood in front of him and pulled his hands off his head cupping his face making him look at me, he pushed my hand roughly "Sean you're making me nervous what's wrong?," I grabbed his shaking hands "relax"I cupped one of his cheeks still holding his hands in one.

"I-I was helping my mom move and s-she had tubs and, and boxes of old pictures and some of my old toys and stuff. I-I got flashbacks of everything from when I," he said quickly taking a deep breath "was a kid and g-got all fuck up I don't know how to say it" I ran my hands up and down his arms "thats okay" he set his forehead on my shoulder his hands still shaking "you think a shower would help calm you down?" I asked he nodded against me "come on than" I pulled him to the bathroom, I help him take his shirt off before turning the water on for him. "I'll get you a towel and a change of clothes" he nodded hands still slightly shaking I grabbed them kissing them before going out into our room.

"I brought your clothes" I opened the door setting them on top of the toilet he stuck his head out sightly "you want to?" he cleared his throat "join you?" I smiled he nodded. "you feel a bit better?" I asked rubbing my hands on his chest he nodded "a bit....if i'm by myself I just keep thinking about it" I nodded pulling him down to kiss me, he wrapped his arms tightly around me before pulling away his lips way from me laying his head on my shoulder pulling me even closer making me wrap mine around his neck while kissing his shaved head "I got you".

I laid on the bed waiting for him to finish getting ready I smiled as he came out getting in bed next to me. He was facing me "mmm" I hummed running my fingers around his jaw "I love you" he whispered "I love you too" I softly kissed his shoulder "i'm sorry" "what?" "earlier I shouldn't have pushed your hands that hard' I shook my head "don't worry about that," I pecked his lips "you had alot going through your head" he closed his eyes before laying his head on my chest.

[verdemoun]

did the gang find out about macsummers in modern or canon times?

i have given up on answering asks in order i answer asks in order of the giggles they give me

the girlies of the gang all knew in canon era. karen, mary-beth, jenny, and tilly were all actively shipping them and directly responsible for sean realizing lenny was actually flirting with him. god knows if sean would have ever connected the dots in either era without them (to be fair lenny was flirting in that 19th century 'could be murdered in the street if he was outed' and spending adolescence in reform school did not help sean in learning how to understand subtext and contextual clues)

also please imagine lenny 19th century educated man flirting. thinking he's so smooth laying it on maybe a little too thick teaching sean to read starting with the happy prince, sean mentions it offhandedly to mary-beth who proceeds to choke on her coffee because She Knows

lenny and sean being together was such a core part of the quartet's dynamic that when lenny found jenny in modern era and said 'and sean's here too' jenny let out a sigh of relief because she was not putting up with lenny's lenny-ness on her own before going 'no oops that sounded fucked i'm super sad he died but also yay sean's here'

hosea is just side-eyeing them suspiciously for a few weeks because "HMM they seem awful co-dependent in a way i had not noticed in canon era. maybe it's trauma bonding? maybe they're clinging to their friendship more than they did in canon era to cope with oh god damn us all they're fucking aren't they"

bessie just tilts her head slightly in confusion "darling i know you were slightly distracted at the time but did you not see the way they embraced when they saw each other? i am almost certain this is not a new occurrence"

also shoutout to bessie who despite being a 50+ year old history lecturer who no one would expect to be in the know she very politely sat the boys (and her husband) down powerpoint presentation style to explain modern era queer lexicon like for the love of all that is holy please do not use the terms sodomite or pederast they have CHANGED MEANING (the term homosexuality wasn't considered popularized in america until 1906 like she would have had to explain... so much)

arthur was very confused because look he's a little behind the 8 ball at times and just assumed karen and sean + lenny and jenny would become things, moreso than actually taking issue with anyone's sexuality. they obviously all suffer from heteronormativity

and of course how much identities and terminology changed from 1999 to 2011 (when most of the gang got there) lenny spent a good two years unironically identifying as moronsexual

sean's dyslexic ass having to learn the acronyms he thought BLTs were gay sandwiches for weeks pray for him (he still calls them gay sandwiches in private and they are a staple of the macsummers household)

it took so long to get used to gay meaning queer instead of happy. still slip up and say they're feeling gay when someone asks how they're going then backpedaling wait no well yes but you didn't need to know that i Was in a great mood

most of the gang didn't really react - they ALL knew about hosea and dutch 'reading' in canon era so if it was going to be an issue it would have come up then. just 'oh cool good for you guys what the hell is with miniature moving picture box in the house are we rich'

bill was the only one who even questioned it? looking at all these same-sex couples discreetly wondering aloud if in the future it was the norm ('without' a hint of optimism in his voice) because i, the author, accidentally made them all very not cishet

maeve at the tender age of 4 looked this bear of a man in the eyes and called him a faggot (she picked it up from the gang using it affectionately)

bill had no idea what that meant but he did know it was something at his expense

[collabs-bunny]

I saw your recent video essay/3 hour ttrpg understanding extravaganza and just. DAMN!

You're an excellent mind to listen to discuss a topic so near and dear to my heart. I'm a ttrpg designer with a couple little games; what's your reading list for ttrpg design as a topic? what books, videos, podcasts etc have shaped how you think? because i love the way you think, and would love to know more

Well hello, thank you for my first tumblr ask of all time. 😅 Congrats on tracking this blog down, and I'm glad you liked the video.

First of all, read Luke, Jared and Snow's blogs. Just read whatever strikes your fancy (https://lukegearing.blot.im/, https://jared.blot.im, nerves.games). Snow's most recent post is actually a reading list, I livestreamed a bunch of Luke's posts, and Jared is Jared. If Jared's ideas and opinions sound declarative, that's his voice. I think he dislikes half-committing to ideas, or couching his thoughts, and he has big opinions, so they can come off uh... standoffish? Unfriendly? But he's a big softie, I love him.

For proper philosophy, read Against Procedurality by Miguel Sicart (blog post: https://gamestudies.org/1103/articles/sicart_ap), and his book "Play Matters." His ideas on appropriation and playfulness have literally changed the way I move about the world in my day-to-day. Not every chapter is a banger, but it's good. The Forms and Fluidity of Play by Thi Nguyen is also great (https://gamephilosophy.org/pcg2014/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/C.-Thi-Nguyen-2014.-The-Forms-and-Fluidity-of-Game-Play-PCG2014.pdf), as is Cybertext: Perspectives on Ergodic Literature, even if it was written in the 90's. It's very readable, which is important, but also full of excellent ideas.

I'd also recommend um... just reading a lot of adventures. There's a lot of bad ones, but I trust you to form opinions! I'm currently reading Luke Gearing's Wolves Upon The Coast and loving it for different reasons than I loved his adventure The Isle. I'm a big fan of Mothership's instant classics Dead Planet and Pound of Flesh, and I hear the Warden's Manual in the upcoming Mothership boxed set will have some good practical advice. Dread Manse by Micah Anderson was a recent read I liked a lot. I also love/hate/love Orbital Intelligence, but buyer beware: it's a weird as fuck bibliography. XD Dip a toe in as a treat, and treat all of them (including Crapland) at least a little bit seriously.

Also go watch my Zedeck Siew video and pick up a copy of whatever you think sounds coolest. Spy in the House of Eth is a good start, alongside Lorn Song of the Bachelor and of course Reach of the Roach God (which I haven't read yet, but is available at spearwitch.com). This one's a bit sad because of some recent drama, but the books are still good. Oh, and go listen to the Adventure Tourism podcast, and if my episode on Deep Carbon Observatory sounds cool, go read the original (NOT THE REMASTER).

I will say: Don't read any rulebooks for context. Vanilla Game is alright, but people (including me) have said some really Forge-y stuff about Mothership's mechanisms, DCC is huge and its spells aren't especially fun to read, Best Left Buried is... like, I don't want to say anything bad about it because I was (under)paid to edit it, but ehh.

I say that because a lot of those adventures are for """"OSR"""" games, which people say are inherently high-lethality. This is almost always parroted and twisted to be More Forge Bullshit. The rules don't matter. Most of them are D&D clones in lipstick. I recommended adventures (not rulesets) because they're easily appropriated. Just ask how you would use any piece of them at your table, or how you would change them to fit you or your table. It's a good way to play! It's an inherent part of play. I've said it a million times, but my Mothership home game is 2% Alien, 98% Cowboy Bebop, because fuck the rulebook. I don't like the stress and panic rules anymore. Sorry, Sean!

Let me know if this is coherent or helpful at all, and thanks again for the ask. :)

[bonfire-at-the-crossroads]

Standing in the cottage yesterday on a gloomy February afternoon - my eye kept being drawn back to these little candlesticks.

They are every bit as dark as the black top of the black mantelpiece, against the black wall, beneath the black rifle, next to the black tin box where the man of the house kept his tobacco.

And it made me sad.

Sean’s mother as the “woman of the house” had so few nice things. A couple of pottery mugs, maybe a meat platter with a pretty pattern on it - so little color, not even a whiff of luxury.

These candlesticks are nothing special, never were. BUT - they are brass.

She would have kept them GLEAMING.

Something to draw the eye on a dark day, and speak of brighter times to come.

I asked Ciaran if I could borrow them and make them shine again.

The woman of the house is smiling…

[cesium-sheep]

aceattorneyheritageposts was asking how folks got into the series, and I happened to find that dA journal entry where I said sean got me an ace attorney game for my birthday. as I was typing this out, I realize that it is no longer a Thing to be able to just. stand in a store and read the backs of the boxes in order to actually discover new games. physical copies and shelf stock are so limited these days, it’s very rare to find something niche that you hadn’t heard of before in the new games. that’s kinda sad! that was honestly a fun thing to do. gamble on a game based only on what you can read on the box. I’m sure you can still get that experience at used game stores, in part because they flat out don’t have any of the well known stuff lol

I’m just old enough to remember getting the little paper tickets from the toys r us game aisle to take to the counter. a couple days ago a retro gaming twitter posted about nightmare in dreamland, which I’ve had the song from the commercial stuck in my head for apparently 20 years.

I do not find myself disturbed by the passage of time, as so many do, especially as I am somewhat ostracized from it to start with anyway due to the ways society conflates disability and age. but I do feel a little sad about the things that don’t exist anymore, just like one misses a house they cannot revisit.

[shmaptainwrites]

Memory Lane [Aaron Hotchner]

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Lorena (OC)

Summary: On a trip back home for his mother’s funeral, Aaron doesn’t expect to run into someone he missed so dearly

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, mentions of death

A/N: Okay so after listening to the playlist of yee haw music @ssahotchie made me I knew I just had to write something for at least one of the songs and this is what happened! Hope you guys enjoy <3

Young Man’s Blues | Parker McCollum

Somehow the streets were quieter than he remembered. He wasn’t sure how that was possible, his younger years always spent noticing the small town he called home was seemingly getting closer and closer to the end of its life, and as Aaron walked the streets he knew it was now on the brink of death.

It was a hard emotion to process, especially given the reason he was there, it just made everything feel so confusing.

He had almost managed to get away with only taking a few days off to come to the funeral and leave it at that, but Dave had encouraged him to take more time, to take in being home, to let himself grieve for his mother. He wasn’t sure how much he appreciated the advice now that he was there and didn’t know what to do with himself.

He thought maybe clearing out her things and getting ready to sell his childhood home would take more time than it did, but it seemed the one person that saw his mother’s death coming was herself.

How long she had been fighting, Aaron had no idea, she never told him, and he loved his mother with all his heart, but one thing she always did was make sure that he and Sean never had to worry.

When Aaron first walked into the home, upon his arrival, he noticed that almost everything was already packed in boxes and labelled, a few here and there with strict instructions to keep, containing important family photos and maybe an heirloom or two.

But now he was stuck with time and nothing to do.

Shoving his hands deep in his pockets he let out a heavy sigh as he looked to the ground, following his feet and the memorized cobblestone path instead of looking up at where he was going.

He probably shouldn’t have been doing that, but he only realized it when it was too late and when coming around a corner he walked straight into someone and on instinct reached out and grabbed them before they fell.

“Hey! Watch where you’re…” you paused both of your wrist being tightly gripped onto and you followed the arms that held you until you saw glowing hazel eyes, shining in the afternoon light. “…going,”

Aaron was so busy spewing out apologies that he didn’t even seem to recognize who was right in front of him until you covered his mouth with one of your hands and it gave him a chance to get a really good look at you.

“Aaron?” you asked and his eyes went wide. “W-Wait, what are you doing here,”

You quickly moved your hand and stood back, taking him in.

He had changed so much since the last time you had seen him, granted you were both twelve at the time and now, well, now you were adults.

“I could say the same for you,” he blinked a few times, just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

Back after the end of seventh grade you remembered the day clearly, you had come home from the last day of school, Aaron eagerly awaiting you to join him at his home across the street when you got the news. Your dad had gotten a new job, it came with a pay raise and everything. He just couldn’t turn it down.

And so on the last day of that summer you moved away from your hometown, and Aaron followed in your footsteps five years later.

“I moved back,” you answered finally. “Missed the quiet. And you?”

“My mom died,” he stated, it was almost void of emotion, but you could hear that twinge of sadness escape his throat. “But I’m here for the rest of the month,”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” you said softly. “If you need anything, well, I’m in the same house as before,”

He nodded his head and you stood there for a moment in silence before you spoke up again.

“Can I take you out for a coffee?” you asked. “Just to catch up? I missed that golden smile of yours,”

Hearing that come past your lips, Aaron couldn’t help but give you what you wanted, a small shy smile while he looked back down at his feet.

“Sure,” he nodded. “I could do with some caffeine,”

He didn’t even have to ask where you were taking him. If things hadn’t changed there would still only be one little cafe in town; even if they did, Aaron knew you preferred things you were familiar with.

As you slipped into the small cafe and picked a seat in a corner booth Aaron took his chance to say something.

“You look really great,” he said. “I mean, you look happy,”

“I am,” you nodded with a genuine smile.

“I guess it must be really nice for you to be back,” he noted and you agreed with him. “What kind of job do you have that lets you hang around here?”

“I’m a GP,” you told him. “I know there’s always a shortage of doctors in smaller communities so I thought my services would be best used here,”

“Is Dr. Pemberton still in?” he asked.

“Yeah, I work at his clinic,” you nodded. “Since basically no one lives here we share patients and depending on scheduling we’ll normally only have one of us there at time,”

“So a day off for you?”

“More like a week and a bit, my stuff came from Phoenix in different loads and I just got another big one yesterday,” you explained. “Any way I can convince you to help me drag a mattress or two upstairs?”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” he nodded. “It’s the least I can do for an old friend,”

“Sweet,” you grinned. “But now it’s your turn, give me the update. All the juicy details,” you tapped the table in front of you as Lorena brought you and Aaron your coffee. It was standard practice never to order anything. Lorena knew what you wanted better than you did yourself.

“All of them?” he asked, but his tone indicated that it was almost as if he was giving himself permission to share with you what had happened over the past couple decades.

You nodded your head and listened as he started off small, talking about how he moved to the city for college, got married, got a job, had a career change, had a son, got a divorce, but then he faltered.

“So is Jack with Haley now then?” you asked and he bit his lip and swallowed hard.

“She passed away when he was four,” he admitted. “He’s with his aunt, her sister. She helps me take care of him,”

“They came for the funeral?”

He nodded his head and sipped his coffee.

“Sean didn’t show up but that’s no surprise,” he rolled his eyes. “Didn’t come to Haley’s funeral, didn’t even show up at our wedding,”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “But you’re here now for how much longer?”

“The rest of the month,”

“Then we have the rest of the month to make up for all those years we missed in high school. We can start by moving me back in,”

You stood up abruptly and put your hand out for him to take. He stared at it for a minute the thought of what the rest of his stay would be like if he didn’t take your hand.

The moping, the silence, the boredom.

Going with you was by far the better choice.

He placed his hand in yours and you dragged him out of the cafe, telling Lorena to put the coffees on your tab and that you’d be back to pay it later.

You started to walk in the direction Aaron had come from, until you reached the front yard of your childhood home and you excitedly ran to the door to open it.

Aaron smiled at the sight of you, so giddy and excited, like moving back here had made you twelve again.

“What are you waiting for, c’mere,” you motioned for him to come inside and when he stepped in, it was like nothing had changed.

He inhaled deeply and frowned curiously before looking at you and asking,

“Is that-?”

“My mom’s lemon cake? Sure is,”

“Oh you’re going to have to make me one of those before I leave,” he pointed at you and you chuckled.

“You can have all the lemon cake you want and more if we can manage to bring these two babies upstairs,”

“And you didn’t hire movers because?”

“Really Aaron, do you have to ask?” you raised your brows at him and he nudged your side. “Come on, let’s get moving,”

It took maybe around forty five minutes to an hour to move all of the things you needed upstairs and by the end you had poured both you and Aaron a large tall glass of iced tea to go with the lemon cake.

“So what’s your plan,” he asked.

“What do you mean what’s my plan,”

“I mean you always have a plan. I can see the gears turning. You’ve got something in store for me,”

“Perhaps,” you hummed. “But it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow, because I just remembered I promised Mrs. Hiller I’d go get groceries for her today,”

“Okay, tomorrow it is then,” he nodded. “I’ll see you,”

“Bright and early,” you said in a sing-song voice and he chuckled, waving at you one last time before stealing another piece of cake and heading out the door and walking across the street to his own childhood home.

When he went inside he realized the view wasn’t much different from what was in your house, but it felt like it pulled whatever happiness he’d gained from spending the afternoon with you and threw it outside the door.

Everywhere he looked there was a bad memory, something he’d rather forget and every bone in his body wanted to run back to you, to look for an excuse to stay away longer.

But like he always did when he entered the home, he swallowed thickly and cursed the town under his breath. It seemed to be the only thing he could do.

Avoiding the areas of the house that carried worse memories he headed straight for the guest bedroom, unable to even stay in his own room. And that’s where he stayed, eagerly awaiting for the next day to come so you could relieve him of his pain with a touch of your hand.

—

“So you picked here, why?” Aaron asked as you walked across the bleachers on the deserted looking high school field.

“Never got to go to a high school football game,” you looked back at him, but tripped going forward only to have Aaron quickly grab your waist and pull you in before you fell down. “Thanks,” you chuckled. “Guess I’m still as clumsy as I was back then,”

“You weren’t clumsy,” he countered. “You were just-,”

“Oblivious? Air headed?” you offered.

“A dreamer,” he found his words and you gave him a small smile before sitting down and looking out at the field.

“Do you remember the last time we were here together?” you asked.

“It was the day you told me you were leaving,” he nodded. “Day you broke my heart,”

“I broke your heart? Aaron “It Doesn’t Matter” Hotchner, I broke his heart?”

“Right in half,” he confirmed. “You were my best friend and you moved to another state. As much as I said I was okay with it…I wasn’t,”

“Why did you never call?” you asked.

“Dad,” he sighed, running his hands across his thighs. “He got worse after you guys left,”

“Aaron…God, I’m so sorry,”

“Please,” he begged. “Don’t be. Really, you were always there. The one thing that would make everything better,”

“I just…I know we were young, but I wish I could’ve stayed. Or just have been there for you,” you mumbled.

“You’re here for me now,” Aaron placed a hand on your knee. “Helping me remember that maybe this town isn’t as bad as I remember it to be,”

You leaned into his side letting your head rest on his shoulder while you looked out at the space ahead of you.

The quiet gave you both peace. A moment to regroup with yourselves and each other. To know and feel deep down you were on the same page.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed together like that before you stood up and held out your hand for him to take, this time he did without hesitation and watched as you led him down the bleachers and to the end so you could walk underneath, hidden from the afternoon sun.

“And what about here?” you asked. “Do you remember the last time we were here together?”

“Your last day in town,”

You could feel him squeeze your hand a little tighter and you squeezed it back.

“And…what did I do?”

He looked down at you, blinked once, then twice making sure he understood you correctly and when you nodded he knew what you were asking of him.

“You took my face like this,” he demonstrated, holding your face in both his hands. “Told me not to cry, and then…” he leaned in carefully and placed the softest, most chaste peck to your lips before pulling away. “…you did that,”

“Do you think if I had stayed-,”

“It doesn’t matter,” he shook his head, holding you closer. “It doesn’t matter because you’re here now. We’re here now,”

“But do you think…we would have worked?”

“Without a doubt,” he breathed, pulling you in once more and letting his lips rest against yours, kissing you like you always knew he would if you gave him the chance.

Because he had always loved you unconditionally, his friendship was your base, your foundation, and all you could do from there was build.

You could build anything you wanted, but Aaron, all he wanted to build was a home and your heart was the perfect place to start.

[carlsainz]

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.” With Sean please! :)

this ask got me screaming and kicking my feet ajsjdjsjjsjsjs this is officially the starting point of my college!reader x sean au !! @sean-kuraly this is for you, mwah 😙

not gonna lie, i'm a little nervous because it's been a while since i wrote something for the last time but it is what it is

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

sean sighed when his call went straight to voicemail for the tenth time. he knew you had an exam earlier and by the way you weren't answering his calls and messages, it probably wasn't good.

letting his head fall against the fluffy backrest of his couch, sean looked at the ceiling until an idea popped into his mind. standing up quickly, he grabbed his wallet and keys and locked the door before rushing to his car.

meanwhile, you were moping in your dorm room, red nose and wet eyes after crying the whole afternoon. you were so sure you failed your exam, there's no way it would work out this time and it made you feel desperate. hugging your pillow tighter, you felt the warm tears starting to stream down again, wetting the pillow even more but you didn't care.

it continued like this for a while, until you heard someone knocking on the door. getting up, you tried – and failed – to wipe the tears away thinking it was your housemate that probably forgot her keys again.

"who is it?" you asked.

"it's me, love," you heard sean's muffled voice.

"please go away, i'll talk to you tomorrow," you sniffled.

with an worried voice, he said "i didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. i have beer too. i know you’re sad, so let me in."

as he said, you finally looked through the window and saw the rain falling hard. you were so deep in the sea of feelings you didn't even notice. sighing and cleaning your face, you opened the door just to see your boyfriend soaked and holding a box of beer on a hand and the pizza on the other.

the tears started falling again in full force but this time, because you loved him so much. after everything you had to go through, the universe finally gifted you with an incredible and caring boyfriend and you would never be able to thank it enough.

"come in, baby," you said, sniffling. "go to my room to put some dry clothes on, you can get a towel too."

"but first, where's my kiss?" he asked.

you smiled through the tears and, standing on your tiptoes, kissed your favorite lips. "i love you, kuraly," you said, hand cupping his cheek. "but now, go change."

"yes ma'am," he laughed. "hold this for me, yeah?"

you picked the things out of his hands while he went upstairs to your room and all you could think was how much you loved him.

[ttuesday]

Hi! Could you do one where the fellers take care/react to a reader who has depression and is having a bad day/few days? Thank you! <3 <3 <3

I hope you get through this slump anon, honestly I’ve felt the same way too recently but I’m sure we’re both gonna get through this wave of bad days <3

Arthur

Arthur noticed your change in mood after the first day. He could tell something was off but he didn’t want to push you for answers. He had asked you if you were ok and you’d always reply saying you were fine, though that was an obvious lie. 

After a few days and seeing no improvement in your mode, Arthur decides to push you a little more. This time after you said you were yet again ‘fine’, he sighs “You sure? You seem down lately”. He isn’t great with his words and scared of saying the wrong thing.

He knows that whenever he feels down that saying around camp can do more harm than good, so Arthur suggests you go stake out Cornwall’s factory with him for a mission. Nothing much happens but giving your mind something else to focus on certainly helps.

If you do decide to tell Arthur about how you’re feeling, he stays quiet and nods along to everything you say. Even if you only tell him a small bit, he feels honoured that you trust him enough to say it and he makes sure you know that no matter what, he’s always going to be there for you.

Charles

Charles could tell from your demeanour that something wasn’t right. It’s the little things Charles picked up on, like how you now had to force a smile more often or how you always seemed distracted during conversations. 

Charles overheard a few of the others asking if you were ok and you always gave the same answer so he didn’t bother asking you that question again. Instead he asks if you’ll go hunting with him. He tells you how he needed an extra pair of hands acts totally casual .

After a nice ride through the forest and some relaxed conversation, Charles leads you through to a small opening where he apparently saw some deer. He hopes being out in nature and away from everyone will help your mind relax.

He doesn’t push you to talk about how you feel, Charles just wants you to have a good time and to have a genuine smile on your face. If you want to talk about your feelings then Charles is happy to listen and try to come up with solutions but ultimately he just wants you to have a good day.

Dutch

It took Dutch a few days to fully realise you were feeling down but he does notice it eventually. First he just presumed that you were feeling down because a job didn’t go to plan but he got worried when you’re mood didn’t seem to lighten.

His first approach to trying to cheer you up is by giving you materialistic goods. Dutch surprises you by giving you a shiny new pocket watch he just so happened to ‘find’ somewhere and he even gives you some money form the donations box and tells you to buy yourself something nice.

But Dutch can see that his plan didn’t work. Sure materialistic items are nice but they didn’t change how you were feeling. It’s times like this Dutch is happy he has Hosea to give him some advice on how to help you.

While the gang is distracted serving up dinner, Dutch pulls you aside and says “I know you haven’t been yourself lately and I know I can’t make you talk to me but if you ever feel like chatting, I’m always here for you”. He doesn’t want you to feel forced into talking but Dutch wants to make sure you know he’s there.

Micah

Micah knows this sounds kinda creepy but he likes to keep an eye on you when you’re in camp. So because of this, it’s actually pretty obvious to him when your mood changes.

When he tries to get you to open up first, he’s very abrupt and straight out asks you what’s wrong with you. But when he realises this method only pushes you further away from him, he attempts to take a more relaxed and calm approach.

When he sees you’ve trailed off by the edge of camp, Micah follows you out with two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He’s always found it easier to talk when he’s had a drink and he’s hoping you’ll feel the same. 

He doesn’t expect you to tell him all about how you feel but if being there and occasionally annoying you works as a distraction from that dreadful feeling, then he’s happy to do that. He wants you to feel like you can tell him things like this, even though he understands he ain’t the most trustworthy person out there.

John

John can be kinda awkward at times and sure, he doesn’t know how to have those deep emotional conversations but he cares about you and genuinely wants the best for you.

He tries to be subtle about it and says little comments every now and again like “Well you know where I am if you wanna talk” or he’ll compliment you throughout the day, just to make sure you know how great you are as a person.

But when he sees you’re not feeling any better, he starts to worry. On the outside it’s easy to see John as someone who doesn’t notice the change within you but the truth is John sees it but he’s scared that if he brings it up, he’ll accidentally make it worse. 

In the end, John goes with what he feels in the moment. Seeing the sad, drained look on your face, John’s almost sure his heart is breaking. Sighing, he holds out his arms and says “C’mere”. John hugs your for as long as you need, not daring to let go first. Sometimes you’d be surprised how great a hug can be.

Javier

Javier likes seeing your smile. It’s the one thing that’s guaranteed to make his day better. One of his favourite things in the world is making you smile, especially since it gives him that butterfly feeling in his stomach. So he’s recognises when your smile seems too forced or as though you’re smiling without genuinely feeling happy.

Javier sits with you and reminisces about old memories, hoping stories of goofy robberies that somehow didn’t get ye killed would make you smile. And it works! …but only for a little while.

Javier knows that this feeling comes and goes, and that sometimes it can seem like it’s in the background of your mind for weeks. When he first left Mexico, he had strong feelings like this too so he knows how each day can differ and how the feeling fluctuates.

But Javier tells you he’ll be by your side for all of it. He wants to be the shoulder you cry on and for the nights that seem long and dark, he’s there. He lets you rest your head on his lap and Javier hums a few songs as he runs his fingers through your hair.

Bill

We all know what Bill is like. It can take him a while to understand how you feel but the main thing is he tries to help in whatever way he can. At first he thinks that you just feel sad over something. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal and Bill just thinks the feeling will fade in a few days. But it doesn’t.

Something that always helps Bill destress and forget about life’s problems for a while is playing with Cain. He’s convinced that dog has superpowers cause Bill’s in a good mood whenever Cain comes around. One day when Cain comes over to Bill for some belly rubs, Bill gets you to join in too.

You spend the rest of the afternoon with the two of them, using Bill’s bandana to play tug of war with Cain and laughing when Cain flops down on Bill, tired from all the games. 

As ye relax, Bill distracts you some more by telling you a few stories, like when he drunkenly mistook a cow for his horse. Bill doesn’t care if he has to tell you a thousand stories and pet a thousand dogs with you, if it’ll make you smile again then he’s willing to do it.

Sean

Sean wants to be the most helpful person ever. He wants to be there for you through it all, holding your hand each step on the way. Seriously, when Sean sees the shift in your mood and notices you aren’t your usual self then he holds on to your hand and doesn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.

Anytime you want to talk, Sean has no problem stopping whatever he’s doing and giving you his undivided attention. You’re so goddamn special to him and he’s scared of losing you, so he puts 110% into making you feel more comfortable in yourself.

Whenever Sean hears about a robbery or sets up a job, he always brings you along, whether you wanna go or not. He doesn’t think staying around camp all the time is good for you so whenever he goes out, he drags you out with him for a change of scenery

Does Sean know what he’s doing or if he’s helping you overcome this? No, he’s just winging it but this man will literally do anything if it means getting you out of this slump.  

Hosea

This is Hosea, of course he notices when you become more reclusive and depressed. Hosea’s a strong believer in love and support helping people get through anything, and so that’s what he gives you. 

It doesn’t matter where ye are, what time of day it is or if you’re in the middle of a shootout, if you need Hosea then he’s there to reassure you and tell you everything’s going to be alright.

He understands how it can be hard to talk about things like this and how sometimes it feels like you can’t put your emotions into the right words. If you try to talk about how you feel but start to get upset, then Hosea stops you and instead suggests you just sit with him for a while and wait for the feeling to pass.

He never tries to pressure you into talking and if anyone gets pissed off cause you’re not ‘pulling your weight’ around camp then Hosea becomes absolutely furious with them, unholstering his gun making sure the person knows they’re a fool for saying such a thing.

[masterwords]

not the knives

A/N: This little chunk of madness was written because @toli-a challenged me to write something for a prompt. It's totally intended to be "heist" related but because I live inside the brain I do...it is not. I had a few heist/undercover related ideas and none of them came together...and then this appeared to me. It is lighthearted and I think in the spirit of the prompt regardless. (Prompt(s): “I think that went wrong in every way it could’ve.” and “I mean, it could’ve been worse.”)

Warnings: Derek drinks some beer. I don't know.

1.4k words of pure domestic homeowner...stuff.

**

“Derek,” Hotch says quietly, nudging him with one bony elbow. Derek ignores him. “Derek...buy a candy bar or chapstick. Something other than this." He indicates the knives, the hammer and massive box of contractor bags like it's damning evidence of misbehavior. "It looks a little...”

“I don't want a candy bar.”

He wants to get back to the house to finish their project. That's all he wants. It's 2am and Walmart is always a nightmare but at this time of night it's particularly awful. “What about chapstick?”

He glares at Hotch who shrugs and tosses a pack of gum and a tube of waxy cherry chapstick on the belt, tired of waiting. Derek's turn to make the noise of disapproval. Hotch yawns while he pays and Derek throws the hammer and the box of bags under one arm, holds the box of steak knives with his free hand. Sean would have a fit if he knew they were buying kitchen knives from Walmart but considering that they would need them the following day and all of their previous set was wrapped tight in newspaper and sitting in the trash on the curb...beggars can't be choosers. The cashier hands Hotch the chapstick and gum, just drops them into his palm with a funny little look.

“Thank you,” Hotch says, reaching into his pocket for the car keys.

The house is in one piece, for the most part, or at least in as many pieces as they left it. Hotch's stomach twists in knots as he pulls into the driveway. He knows what awaits them inside.

“I'm sorry,” he offers quietly while they sit in the car and stare at the house, knowing what awaits them. Knowing that inside there's a kitchen in shambles. This isn't his first apology and they both know it won't be his last.

“It's not your fault.” Derek had said it over and over, but that isn't exactly true. It is his fault. He woke up feeling under the weather, riding the storm of a migraine until he couldn't keep it up any longer. Until the vertigo started kicking his ass while he washed dishes. He needed a nap; it would be a simple fix. Pop a pill, sleep until it kicked in, salvage the evening. Asking Jack to load the dishwasher without any real instruction, assuming it would be the same as at their apartment only to have it flood the kitchen had been a sad start, but it was manageable. They were able to pull the dishwasher out and bust up some drywall that was damaged, replace it easily and put out a fan to dry the rest that was salvageable. All that was okay, kids are kids and he has no real way of knowing that the way he loaded big things on top would make the sprayer malfunction. Derek's dishwasher is older than the one he was used to, it was a little more finnicky. Live and learn. A quick tutorial from Derek would solve any future catastrophes.

But then they took a nap. Derek was tired, too, and it was the weekend. Jack was old enough to care for himself for a few hours, but they woke to the sound of frustrated tears and knew their troubles had multiplied. He found another spot of drywall that wasn't going to be saved, would need to be cut out and replaced...he'd watched Derek do it with his reciprocating saw and that looked so easy but he'd be in huge trouble if he used power tools without his parents nearby. So he pulled out the steak knives. The handles snapped quickly off of two, another bent, but he managed to remove the square and not cut himself. The steaks they had marinating for dinner the following night hollered at him from the fridge for his stupidity at leaving Jack to his own devices without...without what? Explaining that kitchen knives are not construction tools? Hotch doesn't even know what to say.

Jack cries and says he's sorry, even offers his entire piggy bank to pay for the knives and Derek tells him it's okay, he's just glad no one got hurt. That doesn't solve any of the problems but he's a good dad.

“I'm still sorry.”

In the kitchen, it's shockingly worse. Somehow. There seems to be more damage and it smells musty and damp. Derek has been talking so much about rot that Hotch thinks he smells it setting in. He doesn't, it's far too soon for that and they're already taking careful measures but now his anxiety is kicking in. Their tired eyes just can't register all the work they have left to do in order to take this wreckage and turn it back into a kitchen. They'll be eating out and barbecuing for a while. The industrial sized box fan is loud, rumbling and growling its way to drying the floor that's dangerously close to having enough water damage to rot if they're not careful.

Derek thinks he might have to rip some of it out and he's very very touchy about that subject. Original hardwood floors don't just grow on trees, he'd said once and it had been sort of a joke and it made Hotch smirk but he was still not fully joking. If he had to rip it up, he would never stop thinking about it. Hotch worried he might never really forgive Jack for this...or him, for that matter. They hadn't even been living here long, hadn't even fully committed to being a family for more than a few months and already they had destroyed Derek's kitchen. All the apologies and uttered I forgive you's and It's okays couldn't undo the damage.

By the time they're at a place they can stop for the night, the sun is starting to threaten her arrival and Hotch's eyes burn. His head is screaming pain that never really went away but it's a lot easier to ignore when everything falls apart around you. Derek has been hitting the beer again, because caffeine might make him explode. The beer is pale and foamy, not exactly ice cold anymore but it mellows him out until he's somewhere vaguely beneath the anger. Things happen, he thinks. Accidents happen. He isn't even mad at anyone, he's just...on edge. He loves projects, he hates emergencies. This falls square in the latter category.

"Tomorrow I'll show Jack how to patch the hole he cut," Derek offers quietly, pressing his forefinger into the gypsum and nudging a chunk loose. He's lost in thought, how this could be a learning opportunity and maybe he'll let Jack use a power tool to see the difference the right tool for the job makes. He can turn this into a learning experience and maybe then he won't walk into his kitchen and see disaster at the end. He'll see time spent teaching Jack a new skill. He really is trying to find the good in this.

“It's late,” Hotch says in hardly more than a whisper and Derek turns to look at him. He notices the bruise-colored skin beneath his eyes that exaggerates how otherworldly pale he is and he knows they need to stop or Hotch is going to collapse and then they'll be in the hospital with the way this day has gone. He already looks like he might be headed that way.

“A few more things,” Derek replies, against everything his body tells him to do. “Go get in the shower, clean up, I'll be right there.”

Hotch doesn't argue. He's been more or less useless this whole time, holding tools or finding them. It doesn't surprise him when he stumbles in the hallway and catches himself on the banister that goes upstairs to Jack's room. He's beat. Been awake for more than 24 hours at this point.

He rubs Derek's temples in bed, even though his are pulsing with his heartbeat. Thumbs pressing in small circles there first, and then dragged down the sides of his neck, squeezing the tension out of his shoulders. If he stops to consider how many times they were in the hardware store or Walmart that day he'll start laughing or crying, it's that bad.

“I think that went wrong in every way it could have,” Hotch says softly, kissing the warm back of Derek's neck. He's usually the little spoon but Derek is sulking, and he'd turned his back on Hotch, curling around his pillows instead. Derek lets out a sarcastic sounding laugh and sighs, melting against Hotch. “I mean, it could have been worse...” he mutters, and Hotch's eyes go all wide in the dark thinking about the ways that was true. Could still become true.

He falls asleep worrying about what they'll find in the morning.

[aninklingof]

Hello I neeeed to know the @mushiewrites inspired one <33

From this

Right so the story behind this one was that I wanted to make a fic in which Dream gets his belly button tickled in a similar fashion as to how I’ve teased @mushiewrites in our discord dms.

Turns out the part 2 is just the last paragraph of the part one so there’s only one part, apologies

Most of the fic itself was meant to be a setting up the scenario as to why Dream was getting such intense tickles, so it’s mostly angst and comfort regarding prison Dream post-escape and poor conflicted Sapnap.

Anyway ramble aside, I hope you enjoyed!

[desertno3]

Violet – Chapter Five (6/7)

When Sean finally meets his daughter, you wonder why you ever left him in the first place. Sean Wallace x fem!reader Chapter Five: 2136 words

Prologue // Chapter One // Chapter Two  // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

A/N: Oh my god. It’s been so long since I updated. I offer you the longest chapter yet as a peace offering. Let me know what you think because this one was a lot of fun to write 🧡 Also I cried a lil but that’s just me getting emotional at literally anything fluffy, lol.

Taglist: @ysmmsy​ @prettyinpayne​ @the-a-word-2214​ @peakywitch​ @danceyreagan​ @ella1grace03 @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes​ @lovemissyhoneybee​

“Seeeaaaannn!” Violet yells excitedly as she runs up the path towards his front door.

Walking at a more leisurely pace behind her, you watch as it swings open and she all but launches herself at the man standing behind it.

“Hi Sean!”

“Hello, love,” He greets her, picking her up.

She grins excitedly and shows him the box she held in her hands, “Me and mummy brought dessert!”

Sean looks over to you and smiles when he meets your gaze. Your heart had already been preemptively fluttering as you pulled up and now, as you return the expression, it was out of control.

“Thanks Vi,” Sean tells her as he sets her back down. “Why don’t you go ahead and put that on the counter, hm? Your mum and I will be right there.”

Violet nods and patters down the hallway, holding the box of desserts close to her chest. 

“Don’t blame me if some of those pastries aren't the best,” You murmur to Sean as you both watch her go. “She really wanted to choose them for you.”

“I’m sure they’re great,” He chuckles before turning to face you. “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” You tell him with a shrug. “Nothing new since we last spoke.”

You and Sean had been texting back and forth all week since the night he invited you over for dinner. At first it was just him asking what Violet’s favourite food was - to which you replied literally anything with pasta in it - but it gradually evolved to a casual back and forth where you’d tell him about your day and he’d tell you about his. 

“I’m glad I don’t have to cook tonight though,” You confess with a sly smile, making him laugh.

“Well, that was the whole point,” He says. “I wanted to treat you and Vi a little - I made your favourite as well, you know.”

You look at him in surprise, “Did you really?”

“Yeah, of course,” He says confidently, like it was an obvious course of action, and he steps aside and motions you into the house. “C’mon, before I burn everything that’s been cooking.”

You shake your head in disbelief, ignoring the fact that you quite literally wanted to melt, before following his lead and heading inside.

Just before you reach the kitchen, you see Violet’s head peeking out from around the corner, having been observing the pair of you as you chatted. You give her a knowing look and she lets out a giggle before Sean comes striding over to pick her up again, making her squeal in delight.

“Do you want to try the food, Vi?” He asks her and she nods eagerly.

You follow them into the kitchen and raise an eyebrow at the amount of things he had going on the stovetop.

“You sure it’s just the three of us, Sean?” You tease. “It looks like you’re cooking enough for a small village.”

Sean just flashes you a wry smile in response before setting Violet down on the kitchen counter.

“Alright,” He says, handing her a bowl with some pasta in it. “Let me know what you think.”

Violet makes a happy noise when she sees what’s in the bowl and before you could tell her to take it easy, she digs into it at an alarming speed - inevitably making a complete mess.

“You’d think I hadn’t fed you at all today,” You tut although you can’t help but be amused when she smiles approvingly at Sean, the food still in her mouth making her look like a little chipmunk.

“It tastes good, mummy!” She says when you come over to wipe the sauce from around her mouth.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it darling,” You tell her, thinking about all the dinner dates you and Sean used to have at home. “Sean's very good at cooking.”

You glance at Sean at the same time he turns from the stove to look at you and you just know the same thing is on his mind as well. There's a hint of a smirk on his face and you have to fight your blush, turning your attention back to Violet who was completely oblivious to the whole thing.

“Can I have more?”

You shake your head, “If you have any more, you’ll be full before dinner even starts.”

“No I won’t!”

“C’mon,” You say, ignoring her protest. “Let’s see what else Sean’s been cooking.”

 ~

"Is that what I think it is?" You ask dreamily as you come up behind Sean, wrapping your arms around his middle and peeking past his shoulder at the stovetop.

You’d had a long day but the delicious scent of your favourite food had perked you up considerably. It hit you the moment you entered the house and you wasted no time in immediately scurrying over to the kitchen to investigate. 

“It is,” Sean confirms, moving to comfortably place an arm around your shoulders.

You smile and look up at him curiously. “What’s the occasion?”

“Does there need to be one?”

“Well, no. But-”

“Maybe I just wanted to treat you, hm?” He says, his finger poking you in the side, making you yelp and jump away from him. “Maybe I just wanted to be a good boyfriend.”

You squirm when he reaches out to you, trying to avoid another jab, but he just pulls you back into his embrace. You smile and relax against his body, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.

“You’re always a good boyfriend,” You murmur as you look into his eyes but he immediately raises an eyebrow at the statement and you can’t help but laugh at his - quite valid - skepticism.

“Okay, you’re mostly a good boyfriend,” You concede, giving him a quick kiss. “Especially when you don’t come home all bloody.”

Your eyes fall on the healing bruise by his cheekbone but your attention is quickly diverted back to him when he moves to rest his forehead to yours.

“I love you, y/n.”

 "Y/n?"

Jolted out of your thoughts, your gaze snaps up to Sean standing by the kitchen sink, looking at you expectantly. 

"Hm?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah,” You tell him, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment as you try and shake yourself from the vivid memory of being wrapped up in his arms. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“You don’t have to help clear up, you know.”

“No it’s fine,” You assure him. “Really. I want to help.”

Not to mention that helping meant you could stick around a little bit longer.

Sean nods and continues loading the dishwasher. From the living room, you can hear Violet giggling at whatever she was watching on the TV. 

“What’s on your mind?” Sean asks, sparing you another glance.

You blink at him dumbly, trying to come up with a decent excuse, but you come up blank.

The dinner had made your feelings for him stronger than ever. You’d observed Violet swing her legs happily as she ate, her joy at having Sean around for dinner palpable, and you’d observed the way Sean doted on her, listening to her every word as she told him about anything and everything. You knew then that there was no denying the fact that you wanted Sean to be a permanent part of yours and Violet’s life. No denying the fact that you wanted Sean, full stop.

“I was just thinking about the dinners we used to have,” You tell him honestly, throwing all caution to the wind. “The dinner dates, I mean.”

Sean’s back to busying himself with the plates but you can see the smile on his face from where you stand.

"I've been thinking about those too,” He confesses. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“You were a good boyfriend, you know,” You say, thinking back to the memory. Contrary to what you’d told him then, he had been a good boyfriend even when he got himself into trouble. “I- I should’ve trusted that you would always keep me safe. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

There’s a silence and your gaze drops to the countertop, embarrassed, but you can’t take it back now. You start occupying yourself with the containers still on the counter, too nervous to look up at him and see the expression on his face, but you have no choice when he abandons what he’s doing and crosses the kitchen to stand before you.

Your heart hammers violently in your chest as you look at him - partly afraid of what he’ll say and partly surprised at his close proximity.

“I don’t blame you, you know,” He says eventually, looking resigned. “I didn’t give you much reason to trust me, the way I’d go on taunting people I should’ve just left alone.”

You give him a sad smile and at this point he can’t help it, he reaches up and lightly caresses your cheek. You lean into his touch with a sigh, the action feeling all too familiar and all too foreign all at once.

"All I ever wanted was to make sure you were safe, y/n,” He breathes. “When you left… even I had to admit it was a smart thing to do on your part. I thought it meant you wouldn’t get caught up in the crossfire anymore.”

“I thought so too.”

“It terrified me when I got your call that night. I… thought the worst."

“You know,” You tell him quietly. “I half expected you wouldn’t answer once you knew it was me.”

“Why?”

“Thought you might’ve hated me.”

“I could never, y/n.”

Without even thinking about it, you launch forward and give him a hug, feeling so much emotion you think you might choke.

“Thank you Sean,” You manage to say with your cheek pressed against his chest. “For everything.”

He wraps his arms around you and, after a moment of deliberation, presses his lips to your forehead. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Muuum!” You jump, not expecting the sound of your daughter’s voice to pierce the air. “Sean! Come watch this movie with me!”

The both of you look in the direction of the living room while she calls out to you both and you let out a watery laugh at her timing. Sean chuckles too and as it reverberates through you, you realise neither of you have moved to let go of each other.

“We’ll be right there, Vi!” He calls out to her.

“Okay!”

“We should probably head off,” You say softly, looking back at him. “It’s getting late.”

Sean hums in acknowledgement but you can tell his mind is elsewhere, his gaze soft as it meets yours.

"Stay till the end of her movie," He asks of you. “I don’t want you to go just yet.”

You’re slightly dazed in his hold but you manage to nod. You wouldn’t have needed much convincing to agree in the first place.

Sean gives you a small smile, “You and her have been the best things to ever happen to me. I hope you know that.”

"We could say the same thing about you,” You tell him. “You've changed Vi’s world Sean, I've never seen her more happy than when she's with you."

"And you?” Sean inquires, searching your expression for an answer. “Are you happy too?"

You nod again, your voice barely above a murmur. “More than, since you’ve come back into my life."

You only have a second to register the glint of joy in his eyes because before you know it, his lips are on yours, kissing you like his life depended on it. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back and his hands immediately go to your waist to pull you flush against him, earning an involuntary whimper of pleasure out of you. God, you'd forgotten how good it felt with Sean.

You feel lightheaded when you finally pull away and the grin you see on his face is worth everything.

“I’ve missed this,” He murmurs, arms squeezing around you slightly. “Missed being with you.”

“Yeah,” You say breathlessly, fingers lightly running through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Me too.”

Just as he moves to capture your lips in another long kiss, you’re interrupted by another impatient shout from Violet.

You pull back and sigh at the way it breaks the moment you were having but Sean just chuckles and kisses you again anyway, like he can’t get enough of you.

“C’mon,” He says eventually, giving you one last quick peck before taking your hand in his. “Best go see what our daughter's up to."

Feeling the giddiest you’ve felt in a while, you let him pull you in the direction of the living room - and if Violet notices that you and Sean are sat closer together on the couch than normal during the movie, she doesn’t say anything.

[troubatrain]

i’d lie - m. tkachuk

a/n: this was the very first like super long fic i’d written for my own blog and tbh i still love it so i hope you guys do too :)

September 2019

The first time you met Matthew Tkachuk, you were running back to your apartment, mountain of textbooks in your hand. You’d run into a firm chest while trying to text your roommates back about dinner plans, your books knocking all over the floor. You apologized profusely, feeling awful for running into someone because you couldn’t get your head out of your phone. The stranger, who later introduced himself as Matthew, assured you it was fine and helped you pick up your books. You introduced yourself to him, thanking him for the help and making a light joke about how you weren’t paying attention. The two of you went your separate ways, but your mind wandered about the blue eyed stranger you’d run into that day.

The second time was definitely just a coincidence, and you were sure of that. You were grabbing a quick coffee before class, something you were in dire need of after your roommates came home well past midnight from a night out while you decided to stay in and study. You were waiting for your drink when you heard your name called from behind you. You turn around and meet Matthew’s eyes, laughing about how’d you run into each other just a couple of days later. The two of you made small talk, you explaining that you were just headed to class and him explaining he was grabbing an after practice coffee. When you asked him what sport he played, he looked at you in shock and laughed, explaining that he played for the Flames, you reluctantly admitted that you didn’t follow hockey much anymore, being just too busy. Your conversation ended quickly when you realized you had to run to class, telling Matthew you’d see him around even though you were sure you probably never would.

The third time was starting to feel like the universe was telling you something. You’d gone out with your roommates, celebrating a successful end to the fall semester. You were going to grab another drink when you felt someone grab your arm, when you turned around, ready to tell this guy to lay off, you’re met with a familiar pair of blue eyes. Matthew cracked a joke about how you’d seen him more times in the past week or so than his family and offered to buy you a drink. You took it, standing at the bar and talking to him for the rest of the night. You talked about school, your major, and your roommates. He told you about playing for the Flames, and how much he loved being in Calgary. When his teammates walked over to the two of you, chirping Matthew about talking to you, and when you roasted his teammate right back, Matthew told you that he was positive he was going to have a new best friend.

Matthew wasn’t kidding, finally getting your number at the bar that night and never leaving you since. It was slow, he started by inviting you out with his teammates after games, the boys becoming a permanent part of your life. Then you went to your first Flames game, in which Matthew scored twice and made you promise to never miss a home game after. After that, you were complaining about how loud your roommates could be when you really needed to get some work done, so Matthew gave you a key to his place so you could go there even if he was away. Matthew would send take out to your apartment if you’d had a particularly bad day or you would go over to his and cook for the both of you. He’d been there to help you study for finals, even though he didn’t have a clue about what you were talking about. You’d been there when the Flames got knocked out of the first round of the playoffs, holding Matthew while he ranted and raved about the game and how badly he wished they’d won. You went out to dinner with his parents when they came to town, you’d even made a trip to St. Louis over the summer. From an outsider’s perspective, and from the perspective of every person in your life, it seemed like you two were dating, but you felt like that ship had sailed and if it was going to happen it would’ve already.

You shake the memories of your friendship with Matthew out of your head as you turn the key to his apartment, sneaking in with the obnoxious decorations you’d bought. Yesterday, Matthew called you to let you know his contract was almost done and that he’d be back to Calgary for training camp the next day. You were excited, the contract debacle taking up more stress in your life than you’d liked. You’d sent the stuff down on his kitchen island, tying the red balloons you’d bought to one of the chairs and setting out the cake you’d bought that just says, “Congrats on getting PAID.” You hear the door creak open, and Matthew set his bag down by the door.

“Oh this is something,” Matthew chuckles, laughing at the small celebration you’d put together.

“Thought I’d welcome you back,” You laugh as he runs over to pull you into a hug.

“I really don’t deserve you,” He says, “Is that cake?”

“It is,” You smile, walking into the kitchen and pulling the groceries you’d bought to cook the both of you some dinner, “and dinner.”

“I really really don’t deserve you,” Matthew repeats, always appreciative of things you did to take care of him. Not that you minded it at all, the access to the quiet of Matthew’s apartment was enough to justify a few dinners, let alone when the two of you went out and Matthew insisted on paying the bill. While you never felt like you owed him anything, it definitely made you feel less guilty when you were doing something for him - even if it is just stopping him from eating out every night.

“You don’t, I know,” You joke, hip bumping him out of your way so you could grab a cutting board from his cabinet.

Matthew was over to the seats on the island, sitting in the one you’d decorated, “You’re going to be at our first home game right?”

“Of course, I planned my entire day around it,” You admit, knowing you’d made a silly promise to Matthew that you’d never miss a home game, “Why? Worried you’re going to bomb without me there?”

“I mean, yeah. I just-” Matthew starts, sighing, “After waiting for this deal and stuff I don’t want anyone to think it was a mistake.”

You didn’t realize your joke had actually struck a nerve. When you first became friends you didn’t think Matthew doubted his play or himself ever. He had a blind confidence, and he never let a mistake take over his whole game. It was something you actually admired, wondering if you could ever be that confident in yourself. But, when the Flames lost in the first round of the playoffs, and you’d gone to his place after the game, Matthew turned into a sad shell of a man in front of your eyes. That night you realized how much actually got to him, and while he listed off the mistakes he made in the series you’re heart broke with every word he said. The Canadian media wasn’t always easy, and it really bothered Matthew more than you think he even knew.

You turn around from the stove, “There’s not one person who doesn’t think you deserve your contract, and if they don’t I’ll personally tell them to fuck off.”

Matthew laughs, and your heart skips a beat, “I think I can do without you trying to fight anyone.” “Why? I’m absolutely terrifying,” You joke, your small frame wasn’t scary at all, but you weren’t about to let that stop you.

“You know what? You’re right,” Matthew says sarcastically.

“In all seriousness,” You start walking around the island to wrap your arms around Matthew’s shoulders, “I’ll always be proud of you.” Matthew tucks his head into your arms muttering a low thank you. The two of you spent the night together, catching up on your summers over the dinner you made. He told you about the trips he’d gone on, and his summer antics. You’d gone on about the vacation’s you’d gone on, and the time you spent with your family.

October 2019

You walked arm and arm with Brittney, Sean’s girlfriend, into the Saddledome for the Flames home opener. It was Saturday night, and you knew with the Kings coming to town on Tuesday the boys would definitely be celebrating their first win of the season if they came out on top tonight. You were excited, hoping they’d be able turn it around before it became a losing streak. You head up to your usual seats, walking into the family boxes with Brittany, all of the team’s significant others and families out for the first home game of the season. After finally grabbing a drink and sitting down you look down at the nice, spotting Matthew’s mop of hair buzzing around the ice.

“So anything change over the summer?” Brittany asks when she sees you looking at Matthew on the ice, a curious look on her face.

“Still best friends,” You say, shaking your head at her comment. You’d heard it a million times, about how Matthew needed to have you at his games, sitting with the rest of the team’s families or how you were always at his place or vice-versa but you assured everyone who asked that you were just friends - because you were.

“Okay but you can be best friends and date, you guys know that right?” Brittany says, trying to make you see it from her point of view.

“Britt, I really mean it, we’re just friends,” You shrug, not really in the mood to continue defending yourself. You ignore the knowing look she gives you, already knowing that her usual comeback would be asking you why you’re getting so defensive.

By the time the third period rolled around, the Flames were up 3-0 and you were sure this was going to end as a win. When the period was finally over, you headed down to the locker with Brittany to wait for Matthew to head out. 

He barreled out of the locker room, scanning the room to find you, running over and hugging you tightly, “We wonnn.”

You knew he was running on an adrenaline rush that he only ever got out of winning, “You did, are we going out tonight?”

“We are Y/N, Chucky can stay home,” You hear Sam Bennett’s voice behind you.

“Sam, what makes you assume I want to spend time with you?” You quip back before Matthew even has a chance to defend himself.

“You guys are really meant to be, you’re both cold as hell,” Sam says, shaking his head at the two of you.

You ignore Sam’s comment, turning to Matthew, “Ready to go?”

Matthew nods, leading the way to his car in the parking garage at the arena. You both slide in, you immediately grab his phone to change the music.

“You know it’s my car,” He says, already knowing you controlled the music in every car ride you took, despite who was driving.

“You know I don’t care,” You say back immediately, “Do you want to drop off your car?”

“No, you drink, I’ll just have a beer,” Matthew says, never wanting to let himself get too drunk if you were going to, afraid something might happen to you.

“But you guys won-” You start to protest only to be immediately cut off.

“But you had class all week, and don’t think I didn’t hear you stress crying after I went to bed the other night,” Matthew says, immediately shutting you up. You had a long week, and the idea of getting to go out with the safety net of Matthew taking care of you didn’t sound terrible.

“Fine, you win,” You say as you pull up to the bar you were meeting the rest of the team at. You walked in, immediately spotting Brittany and Sean from afar, walking over them wrapping Brittany in a hug.

“I’m really happy you guys are all back in town,” You say, still a little tipsy from the drinking you’d done at the game.

“Happy to see all of us, or just Chucky,” Sean says, giving you a look.

“Enough with that,” You snap, already having heard it from his girlfriend.

“Enough with what?” Matthew says, stepping behind you placing a drink in your hand.

“Nothing, Sean’s being a moron,” You say, leaning into his chest when he places a protective arm across your chest.

The rest of the night was an eventful one to say the least. You’d danced with the girls, Sam made you take more shots than a person should, and it was safe to say you were drunk to say the least. You finally walk back over to the table that Matthew was sitting at, talking to Noah.

“Matty, can you grab me another drink?” You ask, trying to convince him so you didn’t have to. You knew it wouldn’t take much and he nods and takes your empty glass without a second thought. 

Once Matthew was out of earshot, Noah turns to you, “You’ve really got him wrapped your finger.”

“Noah -” You start to defend yourself again.

“Don’t Noah me,” Noah immediately cuts you off, “Admit it, you have to see what everyone else sees.”

“You know what? I do and yes, it confuses the shit out of me but Noah, I like Matthew, a lot, but I don’t think he feels the same way about me,” Your drunken confession slips, your hand immediately covering your mouth that you actually admitted it.

Noah looks at you, eyes wide in surprise, “Oh my god, I was right?”

You start to give him a lecture about prying into your business before he cuts you off, “Your secret’s safe with me.”

You smile, “Thanks Noah.”

Matthew comes back and hands you a water despite you asking him for another drink, you roll your eyes, knowing he’s just decided to cut you off before you got messy.

“Ready to go?” You ask, sipping the water.

“Whenever you are, are you going home or staying by me?” Matthew asks and you notice Noah shaking his head at the two of you.

“Home, I need to spend my Sunday studying,” You say, leaning back into Matthew from the barstool you were sitting on.

Matthew nods, grabbing your hand and walking you back out to his car, opening the door for you to slide in. The drive back to your place was short, and you wished it was longer, admiring how the streetlights made Matthew look incredibly handsome. You knew the small crush that you’d been haboring since you met him only made it’s special guest appearance after you’d been drinking, and you were going to let it take over even just for the night. When Matthew stops in front of your building, he tosses his car into park so he can walk you to your door, even though you always insist nothing awful will probably happen to you between then and the minute elevator ride up to your floor. 

When you step in front of your door you wrap your arms around Matthew’s waist, tucking your head into his chest, “Thank you for always taking care of me.”

You feel him place a small kiss on your head, something he did often, “Anytime, get some sleep okay?”

You nod, “Text me when you’re home Matthew,” You say, using his full name to make yourself sound more serious. He laughs and heads back to the elevator while you walk into your apartment, walking into your bedroom and slipping one of Matthew’s old London Knights shirts on, passing out immediately.

November 2019

With November came an enormous amount of stress, the Flames weren’t playing up to their usual standards, losing five games on the road. Matthew was grouchy to say the least, you were always trying to cheer him up but there was only so much you could do while he was gone. You weren’t in the best mood either, the stress from school starting to build up. You’d spent more nights crying from stress in the comfort of Matthew’s empty apartment more than you’d admit to anyone, never quite feeling like you could catch up with all of your work. Which is why you were sitting on Matthew’s couch, head in your hands while you tried to finish the paper you had due at midnight when you hear him finally come home from his road trip, dropping his bag at the door with a bang, causing you to jump.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were here,” Matthew says, in a harsher tone he usually used. You could tell the losing streak was starting to get to him, his shoulders were tight, and the bags under his eyes were prominent.

“Do you not want me to be?” You say, while Matthew never complained when you were at his place, you did understand if he wanted to be alone.

“No you’re fine,” He says, “Are you going to come to my game tomorrow?” Your heart sunk, you wanted to, but you couldn’t justify spending a night at the Saddledome watching him play when you had so much work to finish before the chaos of finals started. You look at his sad eyes, afraid you might upset him if you said no.

“Matty, I have so much work I have to do, I don’t think I can,” You say, closing your eyes as if that would lessen the blow, you open one, seeing Matthew’s face crushed in front of you.

“It’s fine,” He says, the words not sounding like anything was okay at all, “We’ll just lose - again.”

“Don’t put that on me,” You defend, not wanting to feel guiltier than you are, “You miss shit in my life all the time because you’re gone.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said it. It didn’t matter if Matthew was there or not, anything important in your life, he made sure you knew he was proud of you. If it wasn’t a flood of texts, it was a bouquet of flowers to your door. He made sure you never felt like he forgot about you while he was gone, and you knew you were just acting out.

You hear Matthew sigh, a sign he was trying to keep his temper in check, “Maybe you should just go.” “I will,” You say, gathering your things and heading towards the door, turning back to him one more time, “For the record, you’ll be fine whether or not I’m there or not.”

--

You didn’t sleep that night - at all. Your mind replayed that stupid little argument you had gotten into with Matthew. You’d never actually fought with him, sure you bickered, but as soon as you’d call him out on his shit, he would let it go and that would be it. He looked so hurt by your words, and you knew you owed him an apology. You tried calling, texting, you even sent him an email, but he was ignoring you and you knew it. 

You lay on your bed, typing a paper for one of your classes while watching the Flames game, the Flames down against the Avs 3-2. You watched as Matthew got sent to the box, for the third time that evening, finally breaking his stick when he sat down. You knew he was frustrated, and you couldn’t help but feel like you might have had something to do with it. You turn the game off with five minutes left, not wanting to see Matthew’s face after they lost their sixth game in a row. You finally finish your paper, setting your laptop down and getting ready for bed. You slip into bed, ready to finally try and get some sleep when you hear Matthew’s voice from your living room, your roommate telling him that you were in bed. 

He opens your bedroom door, poking his head through, “Can I come in?”

You nod, watching as he steps into your room, still in his gameday suit. He lays down, immediately putting his head into your lap, while your hands move to play with his curls.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper, not wanting to break the silence in your room.

“You don’t need to be,” He says, “You were right - you always are.”

“Not always,” You smile, watching as his eyes close under your touch, “Do you want to stay here? We can watch a movie - whatever you want.” Matthew smiles and you knew you’d said the right thing, knowing that after a bad game it’s better to distract him until he finally opens up, “Can I have sweats?”

“Open my top drawer,” You say, “It’s mostly your clothes anyways.”

Matthew laughs, opening the dresser and realizing how many pairs of sweatpants and hoodies you’d actually stolen from him. It wasn’t your fault he has the comfiest hoodies known to man, and that he always offered them to you when it got cold. He steps into your bathroom to change, coming back out and climbing into your bed, pulling you closer to him so you could snuggle into his chest, grabbing your remote and throwing on a movie on Netlifx.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but somewhere halfway through the movie you finally knocked out for the first time in two days, wrapped up in Matthew’s arms. The two of you blocking out the noise from the outside world.

December 2019

With December comes the craziness of finals, but you weren’t about to let it stop you from celebrating Matthew’s birthday in the most ridiculous way you could think of. You’d set up a full on surprise party, using Noah as your partner in crime. The Flames were lucky enough to have a Sunday off, allowing you to have Noah keep Matthew out of his apartment all day so you could decorate. You went all out with decorations and invited everyone you knew was important to him - even having some of his friends from St. Louis fly up for the occasion. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing all of this for someone you’re not even dating,” You hear Brittany say, handing you the other half of the Happy Birthday banner you’d bought. 

“He literally flew me out to St. Louis over the summer for my birthday,” You say, “I think the least I could do is throw a party.”

Brittany shakes her head at you, distracted by Sean carrying in drinks before she could make a comment about how you spent your birthday with Matthew and his family. You greeted all of the guests as they arrived, waiting for Noah’s text that him and Matthew were on their way. Once you got the text, you had everyone hide out, shutting off all of the lights. You hear them come up the hallway, opening the door to Matthew’s place. You all jump out and yell surprise, promptly scaring the birthday boy. He smiles at you, knowing you were the only person who wanted to make a big deal out his birthday in the first place.

“Thank you,” He says, stepping over to you after he greets everyone at the party.

“How did you know it was me?” You joke, “It could’ve been Sam.”

“Because when I told you I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday, you proceeded to tell me that’s fine,” Matthew says, “and I know you were lying.”

You laugh, he was always able to tell whether or not you were lying from your body language alone. It made it easier to just tell him how you were feeling, even if you didn’t want to.

The party was dwindling down by the time you saw Matthew again, his body swaying indicating that he was definitely drunk. You laugh, getting the last groups of guests to head out so you could clean up and get Matthew to bed.

Once you shut the door, pushing Sam and Noah out while they made jokes about you and Matthew walking down the hallway, you turn around to see Matthew grabbing himself a water.

“Alright birthday boy, let’s get you to bed,” you say, trying to move his much larger frame into his bedroom. You’d only ever had to do it once before, a night out after the Flames clinched their playoff spot last season that ended in Matthew puking outside of the bar, and you were sore from trying to haul him to bed.

“Will you stay?” He says when you finally get him to sit on his bed.

“I mean, I planned on it,” you say, gesturing to your bag that was in it’s usual spot in his guest room.

“No in here,” He argues back, crossing his arms like a child. You knew you shouldn’t give in, and you knew climbing into bed with him was only going to make that small crush worse, the crush already growing from the last time you’d slept in the same bed as him. 

You sigh, walking over to his dresser to grab him some clothes, tossing them over to him, “I’m just going to go change.”

You walk across the hall to his guest room, slipping out of the jeans you’d been wearing and throwing on a pair of shorts and one of Matthew’s t-shirts. You tossed your hair in a bun, opening the door to Matthew’s room, seeing him in bed waiting for you. You smile, sliding into bed and cuddling yourself into Matthew’s chest as soon as you laid down.

“Thank you for the party,” Matthew whispers, hands twirling the ends of your hair.

“I told you, it wasn’t me,” You joke, finally letting sleep take over you.

January 2020

When Matthew got voted into the All Star Game, you made sure to tell him an obnoxious amount of time. You also insisted on blaring “All Star” by Smash Mouth in his apartment for an entire week before he told you he was going to take his spare key back if you didn’t stop. What you didn’t expect, was for him to insist you at least came for the actual weekend of the game. But once you found out that Brady was also playing in the game, you decided you should probably make the trip down.

You arrived Friday morning, Matthew making some time in the craziness of the weekend to pick you up from the airport, having you stay with him at his parent’s house. You arrive in the mass chaos of the Tkachuk household, his mom scrambling to get everything ready for the party they planned on having after the game on Saturday. You set your bag down, immediately running into the kitchen to see Brady and Taryn.

“Matt, you can leave now,” Brady says, wrapping you in a tight hug, “We’d much rather have Y/N here.” You laugh, missing the dynamic of seeing Matthew around his family. He was always more relaxed when he was with his family, even though he’d never admit that he actually did miss them during the season.

“Brady she’s my best friend,” Matthew says, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his chest.

“To be fair, I like Taryn more than both of you,” You mutter between the bickering boys.

You spend your Friday running around with Matthew’s mom, helping her with the party as much as you could. You enjoyed your time with her, knowing that it made Matthew happy to see how much his parents like having you around. Friday and Saturday seem like a blur, the craziness of the All Star Game taking over. You spent most of the time with Taryn and the rest of Matthew’s family that came to town, many of whom you’d met the last time the Sens came into town. You finally arrive back at the Tkachuk’s Matthew riding the high from winning the actual game.

Once the party was in full swing you were dragged around the house by Matthew, introducing you to players he’s played with in the past. You had a long conversation with Mitch Marner, who you found out Matthew actually played with when he played for the London Knights. You spent the night of some of the best athletes in the world and you couldn’t help but wonder why Matthew kept you around when he kept company like his friends who played around the league.

You step in Matthew’s bedroom, trying to take a moment for yourself. You look in the mirror, and sigh, just not sure of why you were there in the first place. It didn’t happen much anymore, but every once in a while the thoughts of not being good enough found themselves creeping in your mind. You couldn’t help it, as your hands started to shake, you heard the door open and Matthew step into his room.

“You alright?” He asks, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Why are you friends with me?” You ask harshly.

“What’s this about Y/N?” He asks, confused at your tone.

“I mean, you just, all of the people in your life are these accomplished athletes and are insanely good at what they do, and for some reason you choose to spend all of your time with someone who cries every time they get too stressed out,” You rant out, worried about how Matthew would react to what you were saying. You’d never let him in on this part of you, the part that’s doubtful and scared that one mistake could ruin everything you’ve ever worked for.

You feel Matthew grab your hand, pulling you down to sit on the bed. He kneels in front of you, wiping away the stray tear that had fallen, “I don’t want to spend my time with anyone besides you, please don’t ever think differently. You’re funny and smart and you care about every person in your life even if they don’t deserve it. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want you to feel like this ever.” You smile, trying to hide the butterflies you feel in your stomach when Matthew’s thumb grazes your cheeks to try and calm you down.

“Do you want to stay in here and hangout for the rest of the night, just the two of us?” Matthew whispers, not wanting to break the comfortable silence between you two.

You nod, climbing into his bed and waiting for him to join you, putting on a movie and pulling you into his arms. You knew there was a giant party going on outside of those four walls of Matthew’s childhood bedroom, but nothing could be better than laying in his arms just the two of you.

February 2020

After the All Star Game, you threw yourself into your schoolwork knowing Matthew was headed on a two week road trip. You’d spent the two weeks catching up on an enormous amount of work, so you wouldn’t have to worry about it once Matthew finally got back to Calgary. You were grabbing a coffee before your class, when your phone rang in your pocket - Matthew’s caller ID appearing on the screen.

“Helllllo,” You answer, excited to hear his voice - even if it was just over the phone.

“Hey, do you have plans for Valentine’s Day?” He asks.

“I do not,” you say, knowing for a fact Matthew knew you didn’t.

“We have this Flames gala thing and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?” He asks, and you can hear Johnny and Sam chirping him in the background.

“Matthew, that’s in like two days!” You say, scolding him for not asking you sooner so you could find a dress.

“I know, I just kind of forgot about asking you, I told the team I was taking you though,” He defends, knowing he said he was bringing a date before he even bothered to ask you.

“Yes I will go, but please remember to give me some WARNING next time,” You sigh into the phone, “Now if you’ll let me go, I need to go find a dress.”

“I keep an extra card in my nightstand, use it,” Matthew says, “And before you say no, consider it a gift for not killing me for telling you last minute.”

Initially you laugh, knowing Matthew kept an extra debit card in his apartment because he lost his more frequently than a normal person should, but once his words settled in you began the usual protest you gave him when it came to money, “Matthew…” you start, ready to explain to him that you don’t need him spending ridiculous amounts of money on you.

“Y/N, just take it,” He says, “I’m really too tired for this one.”

You sigh, “Fine, but this is the last time.” “Whatever you say, I’ll tell Brittany to make sure you use it,” He says, and you knew he wasn’t kidding, “Bye.”

You mutter a goodbye back, texting Brittany that you were in dire need of an emergency shopping experience before the Gala on Friday. She laughed when you called, already having received a text from Matthew to make sure that she made you use his card.

The night of the gala you head to Matthew’s, carrying your dress and all of the things you knew you would need to get ready, tossing them in his guest room when you arrive. You head into the bathroom, promptly starting with your makeup when you heard him get in from the rink, yelling about how he was going to shower and heading into his room. You finally set your hair into loose curls and start to step into your dress. The off the shoulder black dress stopped right above your knees and fit you like a glove. Brittany didn’t even tell you how much is cost, grabbing it and paying for it on Matthew’s card before you could even look. But, the way it made you feel outweighed the guilt you felt. You slip on the nude heels you chose to wear, and call Matthew in to help clasp your necklace.

“Wow,” He says, stepping behind you, fastening the necklace to your neck, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks Matty,” You say, turning out to take in the suit he was wearing. When you told him you decided to get something black, he was excited having had a dark maroon suit in his closet he wanted to wear, “You look alright I guess.” “I look alright?” He asks, lightly tickling at your sides, “You’re such a brat.”

You laugh, “You look super handsome, happy?”

He nods, grabbing your hand and leading you out to his car. The Gala was in full swing when you arrived, the room filled with his teammates, fans, and other important people in the city.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” You hear Noah’s voice behind you while Matthew was over having a conversation with one of the team’s trainers who was at the event.

“What Noah?” You ask, ready for the comment about Matthew taking you as his date.

“You look like that and Chucky still won’t lock you down? He’s really dumber than I thought,” Noah says, gesturing to you.

“Don’t you have a date you should be complimenting?” You say back, knowing Noah had brought some girl to the event, even though they were never around long.

“Not one that looks as good as you,” Noah says, “So, still got that little crush.”

“Yes and I’m done talking about it,” You say, watching Noah’s hands go up in defeat as Matthew steps behind you.

“Do you want to dance?” Matthew asks, ignoring the face Noah was giving him for being so gentle with you.

You nod, grabbing his hand and following him out to the dancefloor. You place your arms around his neck while his move to your hips, swaying to the music. You look behind you, seeing Noah smirking at the two of you while dancing with his own date. You throw up your middle finger, not letting Matthew notice. The two of you spend the night with each other, dancing and having Matthew introduce you to a lot of people who were working in the front office with the team that you’d never met before. You couldn’t help but feel like something was changing between the two of you, especially when he kept his hand on your lower back while walking through the gala, or his hand gently stroking your thigh while you guys sat at your table.

March 2020

You never talked about how you spent your Valentine’s Day romantically slow dancing with your best friend at a Gala his team was throwing after that night. You couldn’t tell if thing’s had actually changed between the two of you, or if it was a result of the romantic atmosphere. Thing’s with Matthew had returned back to the normal routine, with the Flames in the middle of their playoff push, Matthew was around less, spending more and more time at the rink. You understood, taking the time to spend some time with your friends that weren’t him.

You finally both had a day off, deciding that you’d head over to his place to cook the both of you dinner. You arrive at his place before he does, placing your bags down and getting straight to cooking. You hear him come in, humming at the smells of the food.

“Hey stranger,” He says, joking about the fact that you haven’t been spending as much time together as you usually did.

“Oh please, you talked to me about your practice today on the phone for an hour, you’re hardly starved for attention,” You say, calling him out for being dramatic.

“I need all of your attention or I might actually die,” He says, wrapping you in a hug, “So what’s been up with you?” “Same old same old, this guy from my class asked me out on a date, I haven’t told him yes or no,” You shrug, moving back to cooking dinner.

“No,” He says, instantly, and you turn off the oven, turning around to face him.

“No?” You ask.

“I mean- uh- fuck,” He stutters, “You can’t go on a date with that guy I’m sure you’re too good for him.”

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms, “Matthew I know you live in a world where you don’t want me to get hurt, but I can’t not date because you don’t want me to.”

“I know, I just-” He starts before you cut him off.

“You what Matthew? Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn’t go out with this guy,” You snap back.

“Because I want you to date me,” He says quietly, “I wanted this to be better, you deserve it to be perfect, but I love you so much, and I can’t keep denying it any longer. I love when you spend all of your time here because I love spending time with you. I love that you get along with my teammates, and my family. I love when you get dressed up to go out, because I get to walk around with the most beautiful girl in the world under my arm. I was just terrified you didn’t feel the same way and that you’d hate me. Then when we were dancing at the Gala it felt different, like you were as into me as I’m into you.”

You uncross your arms, walking around the island to stand in front of him, placing your arms around his neck, “That might have been the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life.” “Really? Cause I think I could do better-” Matthew starts, but you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. His hands move to cup your face, kissing you back slowly, the two of you melt into each other like you’d been made for each other all along.

“I love you too,” You mutter against his lips, feeling him smile.

“You’re not gonna go on that date right?” He whispers, leaning his forehead against yours.

You laugh, “No, there’s only person I want taking me out on a date,” you joke, placing another kiss to his lips.

“Sounds like a lucky guy,” Matthew jokes back, kissing you again, solidifying how truly right it feels to finally be together.

[spencermyangel]

Okay, Fem Reid and Sean Hotchner dating, then she gets pregnant. Reid is afraid of telling Sean so runs away for a few months and when Sean finally finds her she's very big and just fluffy ending with maybe Sean proposing to her? Like he was going to when he was going to take her to a nice restaurant.

Thank you for the request :)

Spencer stared down at the positive pregnancy test feeling scared, Sean had told her he wasn’t ready to have kids when they had discussed it. She placed her hand on her small belly, smiling as she thought of the tiny baby that was growing in it. Spencer looked in the mirror, she was hardly showing yet, but she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy from Sean for long.

*

A few weeks later, Spencer had asked for some time off, confiding in Hotch about her pregnancy. Hotch congratulated her and told her she could have time off to prepare for the baby. Spencer had decided to go live in Las Vegas for a while, so she could be near her mother during the pregnancy.

*

Spencer walked over to the door of the small apartment she was renting when she was staying in Las Vegas, it had been months and she was almost ready to have her baby. She opened the door, freezing in shock when she saw Sean standing in front of her.

“Spencer?” Sean asked, shocked, his eyes on her large baby bump.

Spencer nodded, opening the door wider “I think we should probably talk,” she said.

Sean walked in “You're pregnant?”

Spencer laughed softly, “that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

Sean nodded, before nervously asking “Is it mine?”

“Yes,” Spencer confirmed “And it’s not just one, twins, a boy and a girl,”

Sean looked at Spencer with sad eyes, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Spencer guiltily turned her eyes to the floor, “I was scared, because you said you weren’t ready to have kids yet. I’m sorry I should have told you,”

“Oh, Spence, I wouldn’t have been mad or upset. I wasn’t planning on us having kids yet, but I’m happy and excited to be a dad,” Sean explained, taking her hands in his.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows as a thought came to mind, “how did you know I was here?”

Sean let out a small chuckle “Penelope told me, after I told her what I had been planning,”

Spencer tilted her head “Planning?”

Sean let out a another chuckle before saying “well now is as good a time as any,”

He kneeled down and pulled a box out of his pocket, he opened it to reveal a ring, “Spencer, will you marry me?”

Spencer put her hands over her mouth in shock, as happy tears made their way to her eyes, “of course I will,” she exclaimed, putting her hand out.

Sean slipped the ring on her finger “I was going to ask you at a restaurant but you disappeared, and no one would tell me where you were,”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer apologized.

“It’s okay, Spence. Just never do that to me again,” Sean replied before kissing her.

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Masterlist

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Did I ever tell you about one of the first times I knew my current girlfriend would be something special? I mean, to be honest I knew from our first messages for a huge number of reasons that I’ve explained in previous posts. But still, there was a lot of uncertainty at first because we’d only known each other as teenagers and we carefully figuring out who we were as adults. And quite shortly after we reconnected, I found myself testing whether she was cool with the idiosyncrasies of who I was as an adult.

The amazing, wonderful, intelligent, gorgeous, special woman who would become my girlfriend first messaged me via a gay women’s dating app on August 10, 2021. Sean Lock died on August 16, 2021, and his death was announced on August 18, 2021. At that point, her and I had been talking for one week. We’d established a routine of loose conversation throughout the day, and discussions centred around “getting to know you” topics.

On August 18, she asked me how I was doing. I could have lied, given that this was a very new dating-like situation - a situation that at the time I didn’t even know if it was moving toward anything romantic-like and in fact didn’t know anything about it - it might have made sense to lie and pretend to be less weird than I actually was. But I decided to tell the truth, which was that I was genuinely, unironically, deep-down, emotionally devastated by a celebrity death that had occurred that day. I think I added some stuff about how of course I knew it was silly to be hit so hard by a celebrity death, we don’t actually know celebrities, it’s not like someone I knew died, it’s all so silly, and I wish I could say I’m just sort of ironically joking around about being sad. But no, seriously, I’m upset and need a day of just re-watching his videos and talking about how sad this is. It was one thing for me to admit my genuine sadness on this site - everyone on here already knows how deeply emotionally invested I am in these British comedians. But this woman did not know that already. I think I’d told her I was into British comedy, but not nearly how much, because that’s not the sort of thing you reveal in the first week.

And this woman whom I’d known - properly known, as one adult to another to whom I was talking on a dating app - for one week, replied very sympathetically, not making fun of me for one second for being really hit hard by a celebrity death. She asked me who had died, and I said a British comedian she wouldn’t know. But even though she wasn’t personally into Britcom, I guess Sean’s death and some stuff about him had made the rounds on more general social media. Because this was her reply (even though I did not name tge guy in my message to her, because I did not want to burden her with too many details of the weird thing I was really upset about):

She then showed me nothing but sympathy for the rest of that night, and now I’m in the first proper relationship I’ve been in for about a decade, and you can see why, right?

Anyway, tonight I’m remembering that, and feeling lucky for having found my amazing girlfriend, and also re-watching some stuff I re-watched that night, because it seems like a good time for that. And this particular thing I re-watched multiple times the night they announced Sean’s death has me asking a question I’ve asked a bunch of times before: do you think Jimmy knew?

undefined

Before the final reveal, did Jimmy Carr know that there was no carrot in Sean Lock’s box? Was he acting just as much as Sean was, keeping up the ruse and knowing there’d be a payoff? Or did he not bother learning where they’d put the carrot, because he didn’t care, because it’s only an autocue reading job and it’s the same either way so who cares where they put the fucking carrot?

I have genuinely wondered about this before, and I’m leaning toward the latter. It’s certainly funnier if Jimmy didn’t know, and I think he maybe didn’t.

[dilexit]

To be Young and Dumb ~ Karl Jacobs Edition

Summary: In which (Y/N) and Karl forget their 22 for a minute

Pairing and Pronouns: CC!Karl x GN!Reader (preestablished relationship). Reader is mentioned to have a brother but that could be changed to sister or friend easily

Each edition to this series has a different plot just under the same name and same idea of safe spontaneous things

Hey so I’ve been a little bit MIA but so I’ve been having a wave of depression especially due to the school year ending and my fear of change and stuff like that so I’ll be writing a few imagines titled To be Young and Dumb just about doing so safe spontaneous things that I do during these episodes so I hope y’all enjoy and know that if you are struggling rn you are not alone in this and we believe in you

Warnings: Cars, Depression (not mentioned but implied), Self Doubt, Talk of growing up, Angst to Fluff, probably swearing, Not proof read

Requested: Yes No

(Y/N) had a love hate relationship with adulthood. They loved the freedom it gave them, but also missed the ability to just be childish. (Y/N) had just got back from visiting the house they grew up in, and couldn't help the feeling of sadness grow in their stomach. Walking around and looking at all old memories and photos made them think back to all the things they could have been. These episodes of self doubt have happened before, and they always hurt. The easiest way to get rid of it was to distract themselves, but their favorite distraction was in the other room streaming. (Y/N) turned on the TV and wrapped up into their favorite blanket watching nostalgic movies to feel like a child again, waiting for their boyfriend to end stream and spend time with them. For (Y/N) nostalgia would present itself in less of a joyful way and more of a longing for it to be the present again way. Giving in to it always feels great in the short-lived moments, but (Y/N) just longed for Karl to help them take the pain away. As if the universe could hear their thoughts, the sound of Karl's door opening followed by footstep could be heard from above. When Karl made it down stairs, he immediately noticed the way (Y/N) was laying on the couch surrounded by their blankets and stuffed animals, and the land before time on the TV.

"Hey baby," he said sitting down on the end on couch near (Y/N)'s feet. "Are you ok?". Karl knew they weren't, and that and just sitting here would be much help. As Karl suspected (Y/N) shook their head no and leaned in to bury their face into Karl's shoulder. Karl look over their head to see the sun was still up and shining, thinking (Y/N) could benefit from the fresh air.

"Why don't we go for a walk, it's warm out," Karl offered, to which (Y/N) let out a groan, but got up anyway.

"Fine, but let me change first," they said stretching a little bit. They went upstairs finding their clothes and deciding on some black shorts and their favorite shirt to wear in the 77 degree heat. Walk back down the stairs, they saw no sign of Karl, but the front door open a little bit. Heading out the door into his driveway, they turned to see Karl standing in the open garage. (Y/N) started walking towards him, but as they got closer, they noticed something behind him. Walking past Karl much to his dismay (Y/N) landed at the green box on the shelf.

"Do we have to walk?" (Y/N) asked, pointing at the container of chalk.

"Oh, I guess we don't," Karl responded, and (Y/N) felt a wave of happiness rush over them.

"Can we use?" (Y/N) asked, still pointing towards the large container of sidewalk chalk.

"Yeah Jimmy used it for a video and left it with me I never thought I ever get rid of it." He said walking with his SO and taking a seat on the driveway. (Y/N) reached for the red chalk and started drawing. Karl watched over their shoulder ad they started drawing a rose. Karl went a grabbed a purple piece of chalk and started absent-mindedly drawing. When (Y/N) had quickly grown bored with their rose and turned to Karl. He didn't really know what he was doing, and it showed. (Y/N) let out a giggle and scooted closer to him.

"Whatcu drawing?" (Y/N) asked catching Karl off guard.

"Oh! I don't really know, to be honest." He said and (Y/N) leaned over and drew a big red heart in the middle of Karl's doodles. Karl looked up at them and giggled, leaning in to give them a quick peck. A small breeze rustled the leafs of nearby trees a blew around loose chalk particles. The couple went back to drawing together mainly hearts and smiley faces as they made some conversation.

"You know my brother and I would make obstacle courses around our drive way on days like these," (Y/N) laughed.

"Corry, Sean and I were much more boring we would just go on like bike rides together if we even wanted to spend time with each other." Karl retorted.

"Yeah (Y/B/N) and I really didn't hang out much, but sometimes we would have fun. It was mainly competitions and stuff like that. But every now and then we would just sit aa draw a bunch of random stuff," (Y/N) felt much better while they passed stories back and forth.

"My mom wouldn't let us have chalk because we were too messy with it." Karl joked back looking down at his chalk covered hands. (Y/N) also took not of the chalk covering their hands and quickly rubbed their hand in to a red heart.

"You know what our favorite thing to do with chalk was?" (Y/N) questioned

"No what was it," Karl asked leaning forward a bit.

"This," (Y/N) giggled lightly hitting Karl's chest leaving a red handprint on his shirt. Karl opened his mouth in slight defense while giggling at the gesture reaching out and leaving a green mark on (Y/N)'s shorts. Karl then reached for a few more hearts covering his hands, while (Y/N) grabbed a stray piece of chalk and running away. Karl quickly noticed their absents and chased after them. He caught up to them quickly and grabbed their waist pulling them close. His hands left blue marks on their waist, and their hands were covered in the green chalk they had picked up before. (Y/N) wriggled into Karl's arms, facing him again, taking their chalk covered fingers and running them on his face. After (Y/N), brought theirs onto Karl's arms, that were still on their waist. Karl looked at their face and brought his hands up to their cheek pulling them in. The minute their lips touch and chill went down (Y/N)'s spine, the bits of wonder they had shared in the hour of messing around was all (Y/N) needed to remember why they loved who they are now. As the kiss kept on going (Y/N), was sure both parties were covered in chalk. They didn't know how long it would take for them to pull apart. Instead of stopping by choice, they were pulled apart by a car horn and Chris yelling from the car window.

"We've been waiting for you two for 30 minutes. Now I see you were busy, but go change and hurry up."

"Crap! Let's go," Karl said pulling (Y/N)'s arm, leading them back instead to get ready for the video they forgot about.