#ScreamBloodyMurder

[adamwatchesmovies]

Scream Bloody Murder (2003)

2003's Scream Bloody Murder is yet another crappy horror film that doesn’t have a Wikipedia page, meaning I have to do a whole bunch of homework to accurately tell you how much it sucks. On the upside, this film is not a zero-effort waste of everyone's time. At least it’s got some self-deprecating humor here and there - unlike pictures like Wedding Slashers or S.I.C.K.: Serial Insane Clown Killer.

The students from the all-girl Cherry Mount Academy are on their way to a dance with the nearby all-boys school when their “bus” (actually just a van) breaks down. While they kill time waiting for the creepy mechanic to get it fixed, they are stalked by a mysterious killer.

This movie is almost good. From the beginning, you can tell it’s terrible. The performances are abysmal. It’s clear the actresses were picked for their ability to look good rather than any promising futures in the film industry but that’s ok, there are some decent jokes here and there. Nicole Elane Andris as Star has some funny lines as she makes it clear she'll be welcoming the boys at the dance with open legs. There’s promiscuous and then there’s this girl, whose every line is about sex, but in a manner that’s so outrageous, you laugh.

The camera work is shoddy, the special effects unconvincing, and the story predictable as the hands on a clock. About 5 minutes in, I predicted (correctly) who the killer was going to be. There’s a character whose actions clearly label them as the killer immediately and the idea that you won’t be able to guess is ludicrous. Everything about the film sucks so bad you can see Scream Bloody Murder digging its own grave at an inhuman speed. Then, suddenly, it goes ALL THE WAY with its idiocy. That grave it’s been digging bursts through to the other side of the planet. It works as a horror-comedy… but then it keeps going. Up and up, defying all logic, it keeps shoveling air and propelling itself forward until it breaches the atmosphere and lands on the sun, where it suffers a horrible (but deserved) fiery death.

This film wants to make you laugh, but the acting is so awful it becomes insufferable. People are usually exaggerating when they say “I’ve seen better acting than this in a porno!”. I’m being serious. For nearly 10 years, I worked in a video rental store that carried adult films. I had to check a number of them when customers complained that the discs skipped. When I say that the scenes in which the obligatory sexually confused student discusses her curiosity with Miss Beaver (Tara Thompson), you'll be begging them to take off their clothes so they can just shut up.

For years, a friend of mine swore up and down that Scream Bloody Murder was the worst movie ever. It isn’t, but anyone with any sense of self-preservation would turn if off within 10 minutes. Even with the intentional laughs Scream Bloody Murder is not worth it. Sure the ending is so crazy it becomes fun, but they don't compensate for the scariest part of this horror-comedy: the performances. If you’re curious, like so curious you’re tempted to see it no matter what I saw, just watch the trailer instead. The plot is so simple you’ll be able to fill in the blanks while it shows you every single death scene, the best jokes, the worst jokes… and the ending too! That's a much better use of your time. Scream Bloody Murder is a bucket of vomit on your doorstep, but there are a few quarters at the bottom. (On DVD, August 23, 2016)

[film-book]

SCREAM BLOODY MURDER: Shawn C. Phillips Creates an Ode to 90's Slasher Horror Films Produced by Mem Ferda https://tinyurl.com/ygnkvdmv

[horrorfan0679]

#screambloodymurder #horrorposters #movieposters #horror #horrorfilms https://www.instagram.com/p/B1nZcu1F5WT/?igshid=1ryvy7ifzn7zn

[sxrialkillr]

continued // x // @schwartzkatz

schwartzkatz​:

“Well, can’t turn down a good cup of coffee.” She couldn’t place a dollar amount, but something told her he had good taste, and knew how to get it. That could mean wealth or criminal - both options she could live with, for now.

“So, which way do we go?”

screambloodymurder:

{!!} –  ❝A girl after my own heart!❞ the smug debonair proclaimed with upturned palms. The more they talked about it, his craving for caffeine increased. ❝This way,❞ he led confidently, taking off on his heels around the corner, beckoning her to follow, ❝if you don’t like this place, I’m going to set myself on fire.❞ he joked.

The venue they arrived at was a smoothly built place with class pronouncing each fibre of its interior, heavy woodwork & intricately manufactured drop lights adorning the already polished atmosphere. Henry strode up to the counter, and without hesitation, cut in front of a mousy looking fellow like he owned the place. Judging by the formality of his clothing, he just may have. ❝One americano, and a flat white for the lady.❞ he ordered without even thinking to consult Felicia.

[liveevents4u-blog]

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[jwalmsley4]

A few years back I rescued a dressing table from the clutches of the landfill & snapped up a table top mirror from @gumtreeuk on the cheap too. - I needed somewhere to comb my beard and put my face on.... obviously! - The drawers needed a some major attention, but, once they were all fixed, all it really needed was a a good stroke.... With a brush.... And some paint. Banging 👍🏻 - I basically saved the planet & ate scones. The end. . . ✌🏻 #Refurb #refurbishfurniture #furniture #Repaint #diy #upcycle #Gumtree #landfill #moneyfornothing #restoration #transformationtuesdsy #project #lickofpaint #savetheplanet #dressingtable #mirror #knob #knobhead #maninthemirror #whosthefairestofthemall #screambloodymurder #localboogeyman #oldbeard #beardup #glamup #makeup #homedecor #afternoontea #cakeslayer #gotnoskills (at Bradwell, Norfolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/By3KIOJDISX/?igshid=13fewkwflw38q

[dylangravley]

watching old movies at my mom's, this bitch is the voice of feminism from 1973 (and also my voice) #screambloodymurder #horror #slasher #70s

[sxrialkillr]

prowlingnarcissisticbastard >> screambloodymurder

[liveevents4u-blog]

Coming up tonight, Saturday April 6th at The Boathouse in Kitchener! Advance tickets are available: https://www.universe.com/events/live-events-4-u-the-boathouse-tickets-kitchener-D1YKH6 #kwboathouse, #Kitchener, #tricities, #ontario #abrasivemeasures, #screambloodymurder, #mirage13, #asop https://www.facebook.com/events/2280636822221168/?ti=cl

[sxrialkillr]

continued / x / @marquisdeuxames

marquisdeuxames:

Living in the big city, étienne knew that talking to strangers was a big problem. However the young man had a bleeding heart for anyone who looked slightly in trouble. He couldn’t help checking on the dishevelled man. Étienne wasn’t even phased by the rude attitude. He waited for a few seconds before approaching the stranger again. “I have a medical kit at my apartment. I won’t call police or an ambulance.”

screambloodymurder:

{!!} – Henry gritted his teeth as the man spoke to him, again, sighing in annoyance. Though, he actually looked at him, this time, albeit with irritation behind his brooding eyes. He really didn’t feel like being harassed, right now - (if you even could label the offering of help to a stranger as harassment). To Henry, any interaction that served no foreseeable purpose to him was counterproductive. He just wanted to get in his car & drive far, far away. The infuriated man still struggled with the faulty lock, finally deciding to just stop to gather himself for a moment. He couldn’t concentrate with this bloke yammering on at him like his arm was about to drop off. A sharp sigh, and he acquiesced. He couldn’t appear too suspicious, or the man might report the incident - and besides, the foreigner seemed honest enough, and if he wasn’t...well, more fool him for inviting Henry in to his home. ❝Fine, fine, whatever you say. Thanks. Thank you.❞ He forced himself to say, wiping his nose, again, for blood.

[sxrialkillr]

continued / x / @cuilpantielthesleepyscribe

cuilpantielthesleepyscribe​:

“Pandora, but everyone calls me Pan.” The half-lie rolled easily off her lips, not impaired by the alcohol she herself had consumed - at least two martinis already, though she didn’t care to count nowadays. Legally, technically, her name was Pandora, as it had been for the past twenty-two years (had it been twenty-two years?), but it’d be discarded in another fifteen years. She raised an eyebrow at him. “You?”

screambloodymurder:

{!!} – The suited man hummed melodiously. ❝Pandora. Like Pandora’s box.❞ he mused aloud, ruminating for a brief moment. ❝...I like it. What evils do you hold within?❞ Henry’s low voice rumbled from across the bar. To follow, came a slow-creeping smirk on to his chiselled, masculine features. ❝My name is Henry, but everyone calls me Daddy.❞ he high-and-mightily declared, looking arrogant.