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concreteburialplot · 5 months ago

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Cool About It // 02

02 - Scott Street

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x OFC [Amelia]

Masterlist: here | Crossposted: ao3 | Word count: 9k

Warnings; childhood best friends, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of past character deaths, being drunk, feelings panic, secrets, lots of flashbacks + lore, REMINDER: this is set in the winter lol sorry, 18+ MDNI

Summary; Amelia agrees to a midnight adventure with Noah in the hopes of getting answers to a decade’s worth of questions. Nicholas, Noah and Amelia then find themselves caught up in a game that fills them with nostalgia.

a/n: this is au, fictional, and follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members. noah & nick are the same age here.

thanks to @sacredthefran for helping me edit this chapter 💞

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

Do you feel ashamed,

When you hear my name?

Anyway, don’t be a stranger

Don’t be a stranger

- Scott Street // Phoebe Bridgers

The days after Amelia and Noah’s reunion began a thread of texts back and forth between the two – catching up on things that you miss within a 10 year separation like music they’ve discovered over the years, memes, stories from Noah’s tours or Amelia’s time in college, all in tandem with random occurrences that happened throughout the day. Noah was hungry for any information she spilled and soaked it right up like a sponge.

He’s just bored – Amelia thought – big rock star from LA probably bored out of his mind bouncing from Vincent’s or the Ruffilos’ couch. She didn’t find herself particularly entertaining or interesting, it absolutely had to be his boredom that was fueling their reignited friendship. She was convinced that once he flies back to California with Nicholas that she’d dissolve back into the sky like a flickering star inevitably burning out. However, she intended to bask in the attention and fleeting nostalgia he gave her for as long as she could.

She too was thirsty for knowledge, asking so many questions that it was almost hard for him to keep up. The need to relearn him was too strong. She was curious about everything - the band, touring, recording, it was all so interesting to her compared to her tiny life in a snowglobe of a town.

There was a topic that Amelia had always wondered about over the years – his abrupt departure from their town in the middle of junior year. Her curiosity was just as strong then, asking too many questions that landed her in conversations thickly outlined with stern words and excuses. Not even Nicholas or his family would divulge the information. Not getting any knowledge, not even whispers about the situation in such a small town was odd. If it was one thing Amelia absolutely hated, it was being out of the loop and uninformed. Over time the mystery dissolved into a weird thing of the past, eventually getting overwritten by college exams, new friends, and different jobs, until Noah stepped back into her present.

Now, Amelia had the opportunity to get the answers she had been seeking directly from the source. She just didn’t know how. She knew it had to be a sensitive topic with the amount of secrecy around the event and the fact that he hadn’t even returned home when his parents passed. It was hard for her to not steep in curiosity now that he’s made an appearance for the first time in years since then.

Amelia was snuggled up on her couch with a warm blanket and a cup of hot cocoa, accompanied with an entire bag of marshmallows to replenish as she drank. She nearly jolted out of her skin and choked on a mallow when her phone abruptly rattled against the coffee table. Her brows furrowed wondering who on earth could be calling her so late.

She picked up the device to read Noah’s name lit up across the screen. Her finger slid across the glass before putting it up to her ear. “Hello?” She pulled her shoulder up to support her phone while her hand rifled through the marshmallows to grab a couple and dropped them into the mug. The steaming liquid immediately began dissolving the sugary puffs.

“Scout!” Noah greeted cheerily.

“Hey?” She replied cautiously, “What’s up?”

“Whatcha doin’ right now?” His tone indicating that he might have an impeding invitation.

“Um…” She looked down at the mug clasped in her hand then towards the tv that was playing Little Women in the background. “Pretty high-level stuff actually.”

“Weeeeeelllll,” He dragged out the word, “Would you wanna ditch your ‘high-level’ stuff for a night adventure?”

Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip mulling over his offer, then pulled her phone from her ear momentarily to check the time. “Noah, it’s 11 pm!”

“Soooooo? The night is young!”

She sighed a little, saying no to him was never her strong suit. “What were you thinking?” She asked, entertaining the idea for a moment.

“Hm…. Some wine? Some good ol’ fashion meandering?”

She chuckled at his word choice, “Meandering?” Her thumb grazed over a missing chip in her snowman-shaped mug.

“Meandering!” He repeated as if it was an obvious and normal suggestion.

A soft huff left her lips, “Fine. But we can’t be out too late.”

“Whatever you say grandma.” He teased and she could hear the smile tugging at his lips as he spoke.

“Hey!”

“Sorrrryyy.” He hummed into the speaker, “Just meet me at the skatepark, okay?”

She agreed and ended the call with him, falling back into the cushion supporting her. She laid her phone flat on her chest, taking a moment just staring at the ceiling. The hollows of her ribs filled with an anxious feeling, something not quite like butterflies but more akin to moths. Amelia had always been drawn to Noah like a moth to a flame. He burned so bright that it singed anything and anyone around him. If you wanted to stay close to him, you needed to master the art of resilience. The one she saw navigate it the best was Nicholas; it was like the fire never even affected him. He wasn’t necessarily a moth to Noah’s flame, but rather a firefly – someone who comfortably hovered in his warmth, soaking it in for what it was, all while glowing a joyous, blinding brilliance of his own right alongside Noah. They complimented each other perfectly, like puzzle pieces created in a factory, made to live next to each other forever. If there was anyone who loved Noah more than Amelia, it was definitely Nicholas.

It suddenly dawned on her that she’d supposed to be getting ready the entire time she’d been lost in her thoughts. She sat her mug down on the coffee table and jumped to her feet, just then realizing she had no idea what to wear to an abandoned skate park at midnight.

After going back and forth on how she should dress, she decided to prioritize comfort over casual. She threw on some dark joggers with a cream-colored crewneck that had a small teddy bear embroidered on the upper left side. She stopped by her front door to check herself in the mirror that hung above a coat rack. Her finger roughly slid up the corner of her eye to wipe away the mascara that had fallen throughout the day. A sigh escaped her when she fully took in her own appearance. While she had no idea what sort of girls Noah dated after he left, she could only imagine. Visions of stereotypical LA girls suddenly filled her head and stole a bit of her excitement of going to see him. It had to be some fucked up super power that came with being a woman - the ability to pinpoint at least 3 things to be unhappy with within a split second. Her eyes focused on her lips that weren’t overly full with filler, then her lashes that were coated with some fancy mascara she bought on a whim, and finally, her cheeks rounder than the defined faces he was probably used to seeing. And he didn’t dare think about all the girls that scream for him at their shows. It was only then, as she picked apart her face, that it dawned on her how he seemingly had endless choices much better than her. She wasn’t just competing with girls from a high school or a small town anymore, but something much grander, something bigger than she would ever be.

She caught herself in her insecurity, wondering why it was even upsetting her that she couldn’t compare to others. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t measure up because she wasn’t even an option, she never was.

Side by side Noah and Amelia aimlessly walked around the small, quiet town handing a bottle of white wine back and forth. Amelia wasn’t a big fan of wine but Noah seemed to have grown a liking to it. Well, thinking about it now, maybe Noah’s always had a taste for the bitter liquid. As she watched him take a swig from the bottle, for a split second, it was like looking directly into the past. She saw 16-year-old Noah taking a hefty chug from a stolen bottle of Barefoot Moscato. Even underage with limited accessibility, Noah always made sure to grab the only wine that made Amelia’s face twist the least. That crisp October night was originally supposed to include Nicholas until he bailed last minute for a brunette from his math class that needed “study help”. It was adorably hilarious watching a bright shade of pink adorn his cheeks as he tried to explain why he couldn’t make it.

When Amelia looked back on that night, there was always a feeling she couldn’t quite place. It was something sweet that often comes with youthful midnight quests but also vaguely like being out of the loop about something she was unaware of. Noah was quieter than normal, not by much, but enough for Amelia to notice. Usually, alcohol had the opposite effect on the boy, however that night was different. There was hesitation beneath every word he spoke - a detail Amelia hadn’t picked up until years later after dissecting the night a million different ways in her head.

Noah wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling his best friend down to sit at the bottom of the cemented ramp with him. The sky was particularly bright that night, the stars looked closer than normal with shinier twinkles.

“Look at that one, Noah! It’s so pretty!” Amelia exclaimed, sitting up a little bit, finger pointed out towards the sky.

“Eh, it’s okay.” He shrugged.

She twisted her body towards him sharply. “‘Okay’?!” She turned back to the sky to admire the glittering star she was defending. “What could possibly be prettier than that?”

Amelia could hear the boy mumble something behind her, even though she couldn’t make out his words, she could still sense the thick apprehension laced between them. In the moment she just took it as fear of upsetting her with an opposing opinion. Peaking over her shoulder, she found Noah watching her with a gentleness she often found in his gaze. She offered the only viable option she could think of since it was the largest and brightest thing decorating the night sky. “The moon?”

A blush flooded her body when the boy chuckled, shaking his head and leaning forward to steal the bottle from her again. “Yes, Amelia. I’m talking about the moon.” He said in a tone that would normally accompany an eye roll. He brought the half empty bottle to his lips. She eyed him intently watching the bottle meet his mouth. She never knew it was possible to crave being a chunk of glass - yet there she was wanting nothing more to be the object touching his lips.

Walking beside him now made her realize that Noah had aged just like wine. Even from very early on he always held the dichotomy of being sweet and savory while simultaneously having the ability to leave a bitter, sour taste behind. When he was younger it was more subtle yet scattered, now it was the same, just stronger and refined through control. Wine isn’t wine without the intricate layers, the undertones, the top and bottom notes, all of it contributes to the integrity and skeleton of the liquid that creates something worth savoring. It’s impossible to separate the complex layers from each other and still claim it’s sophisticated wine. Noah was exactly that, elaborate and labyrinthian. If you wanted him whole, you needed to take every part, every layer. Back then, Amelia naively believed she knew, had and understood every layer of her best friend, her other half. It wasn’t until the morning after that adolescence-filled night that she got the worst awakening that she couldn’t have been more wrong. Overnight he somehow slipped from her grasp without even a goodbye or explanation. He disappeared into thin air.

He was just, gone.

After a couple months went by with radio silence and no sight of return, in some twisted way, she mourned him while he was still alive. She had Nick of course, who was doing just as poorly as her but they grew distant over time and especially after graduation, she lost him too. Whenever she went back to the memory she would always wonder if she had known he was leaving for good, would she have told him how she felt. Would she have told him that she loved him and that she was jealous of every girl who had gotten the privilege to even hold his hand in the hall or share a kiss at a locker. Would her confession have made a difference? Would it have kept him from leaving?

She wondered if she’d still love him the same now — and if she did, would she tell him this time? Would it make a difference? Could it change or rewrite their history? Would it make up for lost time? Or would it just complicate their vastly different lives? Maybe some things were meant to stay hidden in the comfortable shadows of the past, even if they resurface.

The scattering sound of Noah kicking a rock ripped her back to the present. She shook her head of the fuzzy memory.

“So, you spend a lot of time ‘meandering’ in LA?” She teased, tilting the glass bottle backwards to slosh the light liquid into her mouth. The familiar sweet astringent taste caused her to twist the bottle in her palm. Barefoot Moscato.

“No.” He rolled his eyes with a smile and kicked a pebble across the empty skate ramp. “There’s nothing interesting in LA.”

She scoffed at his jaded statement. “Yeah right. And this old dusty skate park in your tiny hometown is more interesting than Los Angeles?”

He shrugged and took back the bottle. “Now that I’m back here? Yeah, definitely.” His inked fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle to take a sip of his own. “Everything in LA is the same. It gets really old, really fast.”

“Right.” She said skeptically, stuffing her freezing fingertips into her pockets. “Well, everything here has been really old for a really long time.” She wasn’t quite sure why she was being so combative about the sleepy town, most nights she prefers it that way. Whatever’s out there must be a better home for him to be so absent for so long. She knew he had his reasons, valid ones, but 10 years seemed excessive to avoid people who aren’t even alive anymore.

“Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” He stated the popular phrase as if he didn’t believe it before that night.

“Oh, what?” She scoffed playfully, the alcohol riding her cadence. “You missed little ol’ me?” Her words slipped past her lips before she could think twice, and asked it more as a joke than a genuine question.

His flow of speech hiccupped a beat before he replied. “Yeah, and what if I did?” He inquired gently, but intentional in the way he kept moving forward slowly.

Her eyes flickered up at him from where they had been glued to the ground. She quickly mulled over what to say back – ‘I missed you too’ felt too vulnerable, too honest. “Then I’d ask what took you so long to come back.” Her voice was quiet and meek, lacking the confidence it really needed to land a punch.

His next step faltered, clearly not anticipating her rebuttal. “Well I-” He began without knowing how to answer. It wasn’t til he lifted his head that he realized where they had ended up in their aimless walking.

“Noah?” Amelia asked, curious at the reason for his abrupt pause.

His demeanor shifted significantly, the conversation they’d been having previously was nothing more than a memory now. His spine straightened and his shoulders squared, his eyebrows sunk along with the corners of his mouth.

Amelia studied him curiously. His facial structure became so harsh and angular, most people would think he was furious, but she could tell by the weight behind his eyes that it wasn’t so. He was sad, maybe there was anger mingled a bit as well, but it was mostly dejection in the darkness of his eyes.

At first, she thought maybe she’d crossed some line or breached some boundary, but it was the way he looked at their surroundings that told her otherwise. Her eyes bounced around them wondering what could possibly be upsetting him so much. They’d wandered into some random side street with colorful graffiti all over the walls. Her head tilted in the same way a dog's would at a peculiar noise and her eyes drifted to the nearest street post.

Scott Street

It was technically the same street Nick’s house was on, just much further down. This offshoot of Scott St. intersected with 13th Street which was a notorious adolescent hangout spot, at least it was back then. The trio would often spend time there years ago while the street was more nefarious. The boys would drag Amelia there, usually when the summer’s sparkle began to dull, and they ran out of things to do. While she never saw either of them spray painting, she had a sneaking suspicion that they’d leave their mark while she wasn’t with them.

Most days they’d sit around the asphalt drinking alcohol disguised as energy drinks while Nicholas sketched on the sidewalk with chalk. His works were usually elaborate art pieces of the most obscure fixations of his. One of Amelia’s favorite Nick chalk art installations was when he decided to sketch different album art covers of his favorite artists. After watching him sketch Deftones, The Cure, and Prince, Amelia made a request for Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die album which Nick was resistant to.

“That’s not real music.” He retorted with a roll of his eyes which landed a smack on his arm from Noah outing him saying, “Shut up you always sing along to Off To The Races in the car.”

“Whatever.” He’d wave off the admission and proceed to create the most beautiful installment of his album series. Amelia was over the moon at the result, taking a bunch of pictures and making them semi-famous on Tumblr.

Another of her favorites was their 16th summer where Nicholas had taken up trying to master flowers. It was rare that Noah jumped on any artistic band wagon that Nick drove, but flowers for some reason was one of the lucky ones. It was quite a sight, seeing them both hunched over themselves in the Virginia summer heat chalking elaborate flowers into the concrete. Nicholas naturally always out-did Noah in the art department, but this go around Noah was able to keep up fairly well and his flowers came out just as pretty as Nick’s.

The corner of Amelia’s lips peaked up remembering how beautiful the sidewalk looked filled with colorful pastel flowers. Her eyes fell to the asphalt and the pickaxe of time chipped nostalgia into her heart at how the chalk hadn’t magically remained engrained in the cement.

Even though the city had cracked down on the law enforcement in the area to “raise the city’s value” they somehow failed to stop the constant layered graffiti work on the grey brick wall. Most days Amelia forgot the street even existed despite driving past it every day to work.

She shook her head to break herself from the memory only to catch Noah walking away from the scene. “Wait where are you going?” She called, quickly walking to where he was.

“C’mon let’s get out of here.” He grumbled which only confused her further.

“Oh, well, I,” She started but fell short, not knowing what to say.

After walking a bit in silence vaguely in the direction of Amelia’s house, she cleared her throat. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly, fidgeting her fingers together nervously. Despite having history with Noah, she still got nervous whenever he was like this. At least when he was younger, he could be… explosive at times. She was never particularly scared of him, he’d never hurt her or anyone, it was just almost painful to see him like that. When he’d get that upset, it was quite rare to get him to share what was truly disturbing him. She didn’t have much hope this time, especially since they had just been reunited. Noah was a tough cookie to crack, she wondered if time had mended all the years of hard work on him.

He remained silent for a while before answering. “I’m fine.” He dismissed the insinuation that he wasn’t, even though his demeanor hadn’t improved.

Amelia pressed her lips together and nodded. “Got it.” Her thumbs wriggled against each other as she walked and decided that curiosity was stronger than her will to stay silent. “It’s just… you don’t seem fine.” Her speed picks up to keep with his increasing velocity.

His fists curl at his sides. “Can you just fucking drop it Amelia?” He snapped.

It wasn’t often that he cursed at her or used her full first name, especially not in such a serious tone. She knew that when he did it was serious.

Her eyes widened at his response and she nodded again. “Okay.” She replied meekly. “Sorry.”

The remainder of the walk back to her home was quiet and uncomfortable. It was mainly made up of the sound of their sneakers scuffing against asphalt.

When they reached Amelia’s fence it was reminiscent of that first night after breaking into Nick’s house.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He said quietly but genuinely. Noah could be volatile at times but it was always followed up by an apology once he calmed down.

“It’s okay.” Reassured Amelia. “I shouldn’t have pried, it wasn’t my business.”

He sighed. “It’s not that necessarily, I just didn’t want to talk about it.”

Amelia let a pause settle between them before speaking again. “You know that you can talk to me about anything, right? I mean…” Her eyes fell to her scuffed up Converse. “I mean, I know it’s been a while. And you probably don’t trust me like you used to but, I’d still never judge you or anything.”

Noah’s heart sank at her words, at the implication that she doesn’t hold his trust. But she was right. Ten years is a long time and 16 is such a tricky age. Nobody is a complete person at 16, there’s so much change that occurs between then and a whole adult version of the same person. And yet, it was as if no time had passed between them. His whole life Noah had only fully trusted two people, and one of them was standing right in front of him. She never once gave him any reason to question her trust. The minute he laid eyes on Amelia in the bakery last week, he trusted her all over again. However, this wasn’t a matter of trust.

“That’s no-.” Noah hesitated for a second, inhaling a deep breath that forced his cheeks to puff out while his eyes stared blankly at the sidewalk where he stood. “Scout, I know you would never judge me. It’s just not important.”

“Are you sure? It just seemed like you went somewhere else in your mind back there. I just,” Amelia exhaled, feeling a tinge of warmth coat her cheeks. “I just… worry about you. Sometimes.” She squeaked out.

Noah’s eyes snapped up from the cement to Amelia’s eyes at her confession. Her gaze immediately darted from his hold, feeling the heat on her cheeks grow into a burn. Valleys formed between his brows in curiosity, “You worry about me?” He couldn’t help but ask - it had been so long and so much had changed, there was no way she still even thought about him in any real capacity before their reunion.

“Well,” Her hands anxiously pulled down her sleeves to cover his freezing hands. “Yeah? Duh.”

His stomach filled with swirling butterflies as he took in the girl in front of him. Of course he thought about her too, all of the time. Guilt twisted his intestines knowing that he was keeping this secret from her. As kids, they never kept things from each other, there were no secrets between the three of them unless it was necessary. But this, this was definitely necessary. How could he in good conscience tell her that she was the reason he got distant on the nostalgic street, how could he tell her that she’s the reason he had to leave in the first place.

Well, it wasn’t necessarily her fault directly, in all honest reality it was his. It was Noah’s fault that he was a rebellious teenager and doing everything under the sun to get him in trouble - with both his parents and the law. He didn’t know why he did it, in therapy he’s told it was for attention. Maybe that was the truth. Maybe he wanted his parents to acknowledge his existence even a little bit. Or maybe acting out landed him in mandatory escapes from home. He liked that reasoning the best. He wondered if perhaps that was why he dragged Amelia and Nicholas into every scheme. If they all got caught, they’d be forced into detention - forced to spend time together regardless of parental schedules or permission. Being home and being alone were the things he ran from the most. He should feel guilty about it, he thinks, for getting them in so much trouble - but for the most part, he can’t. They were his only lifeline, he wouldn’t have survived without them. He took the brunt of the punishments anyway, always taking the fall for them. He paid more than his fair shares of his dues for the choices he made. At the time it seemed worth it but looking at it now, he wasn’t sure.

“Oh,” His hands fidgeted before meeting her soft eyes again. He could barely stand looking at her while she watched him with such kindness and concern for him in her eyes. “I didn’t,” He exhaled in order to compose his thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m okay Scout, I promise. I just, must be hangry or something.” He joked to break up the tension, his favorite coping mechanism.

“Okay.” She replied quietly with a small nod. They stood in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken words heavy in the air. Amelia shifted on her feet and wrapping one arm around herself then brought the other to her lips, biting down on her thumbnail. “So, the Ruffilo Christmas party is still on for this weekend, right?”

Noah’s expression softened at the shift in topic. “Yeah! You still planning on coming?”

“Yeah, of course.” A smile formed on her lips. “How could I pass up a Ruffilo party?”

Noah couldn’t help but match the grin that painted across her lips. “It’ll be good to hang out like old times.”

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.” She admitted softly. Her tummy that had just been twisted with anxiety was now buzzing with excitement.

“Me too,” Noah agreed, his own smile widening. “It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah. Definitely.” Amelia nodded, scuffing the heel of her shoe against the pavement. After a quiet pause, she took a step back, glancing toward her small home. “I should get inside. It’s getting late.” She rubbed her own arms with a chattering smile. “And it’s really fucking cold.”

“Yeah, you should do that.” His smile fell a bit. “See you in a couple days?”

“Mhm.” She nodded, unlocking her wire fence as she waved at him. “Goodnight, Noah.”

He waved back, “G‘night, Scout.” His voice not as strong as before, sounding almost defeated.

The weekend arrived faster than Amelia was prepared for. After cycling through various outfits in the mirror, she landed on a mid-thigh length dark emerald velvet flowy dress paired with a bow in her hair of the same shade. The dress was adorned with bat-wing sleeves and a scooped neckline.

Between the anxious, panicked outfit changes and the flurries of butterflies in her tummy while waiting at the front door, it reminded her all too much of 7th grade when she attended one particular Ruffilo Christmas party. That year for some reason wasn’t the same as the ones before, things had shifted. She was growing into her body and suddenly boys looked a little different. Her stomach started feeling fluttery through all their hangouts, but she dismissed it as being due to the cute friends the boys kept around.

She texted Noah, letting him know she was there and adjusted the bow in her half-up hair. Not long after, a tipsy Nicholas swings the door open wide. “Scout!” His grin reached his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze. “You know you could’ve just let yourself in, silly.”

She let out a content sigh, suddenly feeling much more at ease. Her arms wrapped around him, reciprocating the tight embrace, clinging onto him mostly because she genuinely missed him too. It had always been the three of them, not just Noah. “Nice to see you too Nicholas.”

He pulled back keeping her shoulders in a grip, “Augh my mom is gonna be so happy to see you!”

Walking into the two-story home felt like stepping into a time machine. The home was covered floor to ceiling with the same Christmas decorations she grew up seeing every year. Mama Ruffilo loved herself a good holiday, never passing up on an opportunity to decorate and celebrate something. Birthdays were treated as sacred holidays in their home – whenever anyone close to them had a birthday, that week was blocked off on their calendar. She took it upon herself to throw them a huge party with everyone they knew invited – even if you didn’t really know them. Their parties were grand and extravagant and lasted all day long. She pumped out delicious homemade food the entire day and ended it with a giant cake perfectly curated to the birthday person’s taste. Mama Ruffilo filled every event with enough love to go around for everyone, even the straggling strangers.

Their home was gorgeously dated, built in the early 1900’s and made up almost entirely out of wood. It was spacious but with a tight floor plan.

After some overdue catching up with Nick’s parents, the two of them made their way upstairs to meet up with Noah. The pair made sure to bring nearly overflowing solo cups full of Mama Ruffilo’s famous sparkling cranberry cocktail, an extra re-up for Noah.

The upstairs loft area was their domain, where all the kids used to hang out. The space was decked out with a couch, a couple bean bag chairs and a TV with every gaming console you could imagine. The Ruffilo’s were by no means wealthy, but they tried to give their kids as much as they could, and for the most part they succeeded. The loft area looked the same, as if it hadn’t been touched since the last time she had been there. It’s funny how there are moments in live, where you don’t realize that you’re experiencing something for the last time. Amelia would sometimes think about the last time she saw Noah that starry night at the skatepark, and how she had no idea it’d be their last.

Noah was sat on the couch playing some shooter game.

“Hey.” Amelia said meekly, giving him a little wave. Since the night at the park suddenly she felt shyer around him than before their reunion in the bakery.

“Hey Scout.” He said uninterrupted with his brows furrowed and his tongue stuck between his lips with his thumbs flying over the plastic controller. His gaze flickered up to her in a brief moment of respite, the look was fleeting as his eyes immediately went back reflexively to the game. It seemed as though his brain processed what he saw after the fact, his eyes snapping right back at her, lingering this time as he gave her a once over. It was clear he did not expect her to show up in a short dress that so perfectly accentuated the curves of her body. Of course, logically he knew she had grown up, but something about the way the fabric laid on her body clicked something in his brain. That was a woman standing in front of him, not the girl he used to call his best friend. The realization sent a buzzing warmth down his body that he didn’t anticipate. His focus stayed on her a couple seconds too long, and the sounds of defeat blared from the tv speakers.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, pausing the game and setting down the controller on the coffee table in front of him. He shook his head from the swirling thoughts and pulled himself up to his feet. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in for a half hug. “Glad you could make it Scout.” He smiled down at her.

She looked up at him, forgetting how much he actually towered over her – the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder, even with the almost two inches of added height from her shoes. “Thanks for inviting me.”

The boys gathered on the couch while Amelia opted for the matching armchair beside them. The trio spent some time catching up, sharing more stories of their time spent away from each other. Though the boys’ success stories seemed to outshine her modest life running a bakery, they still made her accomplishments seem just as significant and grandiose as their own.

Amelia watched the boys play a couple rounds of their shooter game while she was once again playing catch up to their drinking. She forgot the burn that came from the strong cranberry cocktail but that didn’t stop her from finishing 2 cups of it while now nursing a strong 3rd. The alcohol was quickly spreading tingly heat through her veins already reaching her fingertips.

Her eyes drifted to a corner of the room where a play tent used to sit, and a grin spread across her lips. Clear as day she could see herself at 9 years old hiding in it with her legs tucked up into her chest held tightly by her arms thinking it was the best hiding spot in the house.

“What’re ya smilin’ about?” Asked Nicholas, setting down the controller as their match ended.

She laughed and shook her head, “Nothin, just thinkin’ about how I’d always win at hide-and-seek.” She smirked with pride, straightening up before taking another sip of the fruity drink.

Noah scoffed, “Yeah fuckin’ right, I always won.”

“I don’t think so, not the way I remember it.” Amelia countered with a propped brow.

“Well, you’re definitely remembering wrong.” He challenged.

“Well, why don’t we find out?” Nick suggested with a playful glint in his eye. “For old times’ sake.”

“Fuck it, fine.” Amelia laughed, the nostalgic innocence of it all just as prevalent in her system as the alcohol.

“Sounds good to me.” Noah boasted and pointed a finger at her, narrowing his eyes. “You’re goin’ down, Alastor.” Noah was known to have a strong competitive streak and it showed when he began pulling last names out.

The trio gathered in the middle of the upstairs hallway just as they had years ago.

“Okay, 3 for 3?” Nick confirmed as that was their tradition.

The three looked at each other and nodded in agreement. They all downed the last of their drinks before the game began. Nick leaned against the railway of the foyer with covered eyes and began counting down while Noah and Amelia darted in opposite directions in search of their perfect hiding spots.

It felt silly, running around as 20-somethings looking for their old tried and true hiding locations assuming Nicholas wouldn’t remember them. But the rush of pure child-fueled adrenaline was too good to pass up for the pair, feeling better than they ever remembered. Whether it was the magic of the old house imprinted with their childhood wonderment or the alcohol swirling in their chests that fueled their fun, they couldn’t tell, but it was thrilling all the same.

In the first round, Amelia weaved through the downstairs crowd, somehow picking up another glass of cranberry cocktail along the way to warm her journey to her first spot. She was grateful no one was around to catch her sneaking into the coat closet below the stairs. Noah on the other hand, discovered that finding discreet hiding places now that he was lanky and 6’3 wasn’t the easiest thing to do. In a desperate last-minute attempt, he chose to hide behind some floor-length curtains in the living room. Noah was glad that the people around him were too drunk to question it.

Obviously, Amelia won that round.

By the second round, the trio were way past their limits on the wicked cranberry elixir. Their cheeks were rosy, their fingers tingly and their lips numb. Silly giggles and drunken fumbling were what gave away Amelia’s position, giving Noah the victory of the 2nd round.

Finally, after a sloppy team meeting downstairs, Nick began counting down, though he kept having to start over due to him tripping over his numbers and forgetting his place. Amelia and Noah split in separate directions, but they took advantage of Nick’s extra time. The brunette circled around downstairs but the racing urgency in her heart convinced her that she was running out of time and to give up and try upstairs. A brilliant idea bloomed in her mind like a light bulb in her head, an absolute genius spot she thought. She rushed her way through the traffic in the stairway and almost broke through the door of her destination with the force she ran into it.

She flicked the light on and took in the room, it looked so perfect, like it hadn’t been touched in the past 10 years. Nick’s bedroom was just as cluttered as she remembered it being, every surface covered with something – books, vinyls, figures, old instruments. Three of his walls were dark blue with one accent wall of chalkboard paint black.

She closed the door behind her and stumbled slightly as she turned to take in the chalkboard, covered with messages they'd left over the years. The notes stretched all the way back to an old Girl Scout schedule of hers. She walked towards the board, touching the chalk, reminiscing about that very first day. She rolled the blue powder between her middle finger and thumb remembering it as if it was yesterday. It was at the end of a Girl Scout meeting, and she was helping a younger girl in her troop with her sash. Just as she got it perfect, two older boys ran up to inform the dark-haired girl that their mom sent them to find her and that she was impatiently waiting in the car.

“Nice sash, loser.” Sneered 8-year old Nick with crossed arms.

“Amelia helped me with it.” The younger girl retorted proudly. “She said it’s cool.”

Nick scoffed at the idea, “Yeah right.”

“She worked hard for these badges, they’re special.” Amelia raised her brow, eyeing the small boy up and down. “I don’t see you with anything special.” She sassed.

“I like yours.” Squeaked Noah with wide eyes blinking at Amelia, not even looking the sash he was complimenting.

“Thanks.” A tiny smile formed on her lips, taking in the slightly taller boy with kindest brown eyes.

“I’m Noah-“ He began before getting cut off by Nick yanking his arm towards the exit.

As Noah was getting dragged away by Nick, he gave Amelia a big goodbye wave, “Nice meeting you… Scout!” He called back with a giant smile to the unnamed girl.

“You gonna hide or what!” A voice whisper-yelled from the closet, snapping her from her nostalgic trance.

Her brows furrowed and followed the mystery voice, yanking the closet door open.

“Hey! You’re in my hiding spot!” She whined spotting Noah in her genius idea.

“Finder’s keepers, find a different place!” He said competitively even though there was no real malice in his tone.

“No – I don’t think I will.” She straightened up, “I thought of it, I’m sitting in here.” In her hazy mind, the logic made perfect sense and, in that moment, sitting in her genius hiding spot might as well have meant winning the game.

Noah knew better than to challenge a drunk Amelia and just groaned with an eye roll, tucking his crossed legs further into himself. “Augh, fine, just get in before he walks in here.”

Amelia giggled proudly and plopped herself across from him. She was much smaller than Noah so her fitting into such a small space wasn’t much of a hassle. She brought her bent legs up, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on her knees looking at him.

The edges of Noah’s lips quirked up into a wide grin as he looked over her, taking in how adorable she looked with her cheeks flushed and lips stained cranberry-red. “Oh, you’re drunk.”

The redness on her cheeks grew as she giggled at his words, bringing her long sleeves up to her face to hide her face. “Shut up, Noah!”

He let out a laugh at her reaction, finding it quite endearing.

“Hey! So are you!” She snapped at his laughter and smacked him with the access of her bell sleeve.

He shrugged, “Nick’s mom is a great bartender.” He chuckled, convinced that even drinking straight liquor couldn’t get him as drunk as that dreaded juice.

“Too bad Nick didn’t get any of that magic in his genes.” She quipped back with a grin beginning to spread.

They both erupted into a fit of cackles remembering the monstrous concoctions Nicholas would create at any given high school party they were at.

“No, he really didn’t!” Amelia couldn’t keep it together as she shook her head vigorously, almost making her dizzy.

“And you wanna know somethin’?” Noah leaned in and waited until she reciprocated in matched anticipation. “He still doesn’t!”

Amelia’s eyes filled with tears from how hard she was laughing, reaching out and grasping Noah’s arms for stability, pattering her feet as well as she could while sitting down. She shook Noah hard as if the more she moved him the easier it would be to breathe through her drunken laughter.

Noah didn’t help, only laughing harder because of her over-enthused amusement. The feeling of her delicate hands gripping him ignited some warm feeling in his chest that he couldn’t explain, or maybe it just didn’t make sense, or perhaps it was a feeling he forgot came with Amelia. The longer her hands lingered on him, the more familiar it became and in the pit of his stomach he realized that he remembered it vividly. Sitting on floors, wrapped up in fits of laughter always felt like that with her. It was electric and euphoric but soft like velvet and cashmere. Safe and exciting. Perhaps, maybe, it might be what people say home feels like. It seemed alcohol only amplified that feeling. A part of him thought that maybe if he kept her laughing, she’d never leave.

The pair suddenly perked up and their laughter ceased at a loud sound from past the room worried them that it might be Nick finally getting close to finding them.

“Shit!” Noah straightened up peek through the slats of the closet.

“What?”

“You didn’t turn the light off before getting in here.” He hissed.

Before Noah could stop her, she cracked the closet open and shakily pulled herself to her feet.

“Scout!” He called after her in a whisper and fell short of grabbing her wrist.

She sprinted across the room, flicking off the light casting the room in deep darkness.

“Fuck.” She muttered, not really thinking through the fact that she’d have to find her way back in the dark.

“’Melia.” Noah groaned letting his head fall back, pinching the bridge of his nose, suddenly remembering how ditzy she could get when intoxicated. “Just follow my voice and try not to knock anything down.”

“S’kay!” She slurred a bit and if on cue, she bumped into his dresser. “Ow!”

Noah covered his face with both hands, watching the vague movement in the dark through parted fingers like it was a train wreck he couldn’t look away from.

Her hands landed carefully on every surface she came in contact with, though the numbness that made home in her fingertips did not aid in that quest.

“I believe in you Scout, c’mon.” He chuckled, now tracking her with his light-adjusted eyes.

“I’m good, I’m good, I got it!”

By the grace of god, the girl made it back to the closet in one piece. However, it seemed that the precarious feat of finding her way back to her spot in the crowded closet was much more complicated in the darkness.

She stepped in just fine, “See, told you I got it!”

“Yeah, after you bumped into every piece of furniture!”

His comment starts the chain reaction of their drunken laughter. From all the combined laughter of the night, Amelia’s abdomen actively ached and when she couldn’t catch her breath, her midsection failed to support her weight any longer. She lost her balance and stumbled forward. She tried to catch herself, but the darkness and her tipsiness got the better of her.

Amelia somehow landed in Noah’s lap and it’s only once the giggles died down that they realized her position on him.

Their smiles fall slowly once they notice just how close their faces were to each other’s.

“Hi.” Amelia breathes out quietly, being able to see him clearer with her eyes finally adjusted to the dark.

“Hi.” Noah replied, just as delicately as her. He shifts a bit beneath her, stretching his legs out allowing for her position to settle better. Each knee nestled at his sides, and she rested on his lap gently. Her palms found themselves on his chest, seeking warmth to ground her. A buzz laid claim across her skin and a prickling at her fingertips. She couldn’t tell if it was just the alcohol playing tricks on her but could’ve sworn that she could feel his heart thumping quickly beneath her hand. If it was his heart she felt, hers was racing just as fast.

It’s Noah’s eyes that first flickered down to her lips and that’s all it takes to prompt Amelia to do the same. It’s a game that went on for what felt like an eternity to them, but in reality, it wasn’t even a minute. Noah doesn’t think, he just does, following his drunken impulse to close the gap between them. Amelia’s eyes widen at the unfamiliar feeling of his lips.

It was barely a millisecond before they recoiled away from each other. Their eyes darted back and forth trying to read the other’s expression. It’s Amelia this time that rejoins their lips. It was awkward, neither one of them thinking fully about their actions but understanding it was foreign.

This kiss lasted longer than the previous with their lips locked. When it became clear that neither one of them wanted it to end, Noah advanced by placing his hands on her hips hesitantly. Her hands delicately made their way up to his throat, tenderly cupping the sides and letting her fingers rest on the nape of his neck. He took the gesture as invitation to proceed to something that made him nervous, a heavy pit sitting in the deepest part of his belly. It was something that would cement and advance the alcohol-fueled moment into something more real. He cautiously swiped his tongue against her bottom lip asking for entrance and much to his surprise, she obliged.

Their tongues cautiously met in the middle and began to explore each other. One of Noah’s hands made its way up her body to cup her cheek and pull her in further to deepen the kiss. His touches were delicate and careful, like she was made of glass.

If they had been sober, their minds would have surely been racing with all the paranoia and implications of their actions, but there, wasted on cranberry cocktails, and in the bubble they always seemed to create, there was nothing on their minds except each other.

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to heat up. Amelia’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer and adjusting to be further in his lap. Amelia’s thumping heart jumped into her throat while his dropped into his hips. Their clashed lips were a messy display of suppressed frustration and drunken bliss - hungry and curious, but soft and cautious.

Her dainty fingers threaded into roots of his lengthy hair as her hips began to just barely roll against his lap. Between the alcohol and the buzzing that made home between her legs, he was about all she could think about. In her drunken state it made perfect sense to follow the urge commanded by the ache in her core.

Noah however being slightly less drunk than her, held the whisper of unrequited adoration in the back of his mind. Emphasis on whisper, his brain was too woozy and fogged up from the girl lazily moving herself against him to care all that much. He thought, if being loved by her only came like this, just one time while they were drunk, maybe it was okay to let her lips grace his just this once. He had no real plans to actually escalate the moment past a heated kiss. She didn’t know what she was doing and would probably forget tomorrow anyway, there was no harm in a kiss.

Amelia pulled away, letting reality drip into her brain just a bit. Her eyes bounced between his own, who looked at her with a look that didn’t waiver like before, completely down for whatever the night was delivering.

When the bedroom door abruptly opened, it was as if their bodies were ripped apart from the way Amelia instinctively flew back into her spot. Her chest rose and fell quickly with her heart racing so fast it threatened to shatter her ribcage. Her cheeks burned the way a child’s would with fear of getting caught breaking rules. Even though there were no rules that stated otherwise, she felt as though she’d broken some invisible law. She wouldn’t necessarily classify it as wrong, just perhaps forbidden.

From all the loud chaos of her fleeing from him to the opposite side of the closet, it was a dead giveaway for Nick of their hiding spot.

Amelia squeezed her eyes shut at the sound of his sneakered footsteps making their way to the closet. She thought maybe if she stayed completely still, by some miracle he’d second guess his trail.

The closet doors creaked open in an instant and light from the hallway flooded the dark room. From the way Nick’s face dropped, it was clear that he wasn’t expecting to see both their faces in the same spot. His expression shifted from knitted confused brows to a wide victorious grin.

“Ha! Y’all made it easy. Two birds, one stone, you lose!” He declared as if he won the olympics, which didn’t really make sense since he didn’t win either. It was a tie between the three of them with each winning a singular round. They all won, they all lost.

“Sorry I um,” Amelia cleared her throat and struggled to leave the closet, crushing old shoes and letting boxes tumble behind her. “Sorry, I just need to leave.” She mumbled quickly, brushing past Nick nearly knocking him backwards.

Her legs couldn’t keep up with her speeding around the house to gather her belongings to leave. She threw her jacket under her arm and tossed her crossbody purse over her shoulder. Her feet stumbled over the steps of the staircase and barreled through the bustling party to land on the cold front door handle. A harsh cold smacked her face immediately triggering her teeth to chatter. The freezing winter wind was vicious and relentless across her pale skin as her legs propelled her forward to a full-on sprint home.

It wasn’t until she bursted through her front door with her back against it that she finally felt a semblance of safety. Her back was so heavy against the door that when she tried to pull herself from it, her spine felt like magnetized concrete. She let out a weighty sigh before forcefully kicking herself off.

Even though the holiday cocktail was still rushing through her veins like vicious waters, she stumbled her way into her kitchen. Her legs ached from the drunken sprint home and her chest was sore from the heavy breathing. Her head spun like a basketball on the tip of a player’s finger.

The fridge light burned her retinas when she pulled the door open and quickly found her target, an old, gifted bottle of red wine. Her eyes landed on the cabinet door that hid her wine glasses but deemed the task too exhausting and pointless. There was a hollow echo from pulling the cork harshly from the bottle’s mouth. The sanguine liquid flowed past her lips and into a greedy gulp, leaving behind a dry bitter burn. Her face scrunched at the taste, disappointed that even at her level of intoxication the beverage was still horrid.

Amelia rested her hands against the granite edge of the countertop, letting the weight of her entire body pool into her palms. Her mind was a fuzzy blur, nauseatingly turbulent with the memories of the past few hours. The thoughts came in relentless waves, giving her brief moments of drunken distraction before crashing back in. She hoped she’d forget tomorrow after a good night’s sleep, and she hoped the same for Noah. God, she hoped the same for him.

A/N; thank you so much for reading 💗 i hope you enjoyed even though it is definitely not christmas time lmao 💗 let me know what you think ! 💗

Taglist; @lma1986 @alastriaa @missduffsblog @xxkittenkissesxx @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens @measuredingold @jilliemiw86 @vinyardmauro @laurpartyprogram @somebodyels3 @silentglassbreak @thepastelfae

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