#Save for me

[academicfever]

How to Deal with Manipulators_Psycopaths

This is some useful info from the book I am reading_ Its really thorough and effective...

Some Manipulation Techniques;

Indiscretion.

Early in your relationship, the psychopath reveals personal details (whether true or false) about themselves and encourages you to share similarly private things about yourself, things they will later use against you—for example, “My father always shouted at me, and I hate it when somebody raises their voice.”

Putting the blame on the victim

Regardless of what isn’t working in your relationship, the psychopath will find ways of blaming everything on you.

Indirect insults

Mean criticism that is hidden behind fake concern—for example, “Maybe you should go back to bed, sweetheart. You look a little haggard this morning.”

Insinuating comments or compliments

A way of expressing themselves so ambiguously that you don’t know whether they intended a comment as a compliment or an insult—for example, “You know what, you could earn lots of money as a prostitute!”

Creating guilty feelings

Accusing the victim of being mean or unfair toward the manipulator—for example, “How can you accuse me of that? When I’ve always done everything for you!”

Empty words

Psychopaths don’t place any value in what they say. They can express themselves any way they want depending on the situation—for example, “I love you.” This will keep you calm for the time being, but it doesn’t mean anything, because the psychopath doesn’t love.

Making light of their particular action

The psychopath forcefully convinces you that what they did wasn’t a big deal: “So what, everyone does that, right?” “But nothing happened!”

Telling lies

How to distinguish the lies from everything else is tricky, but if you notice some of the methods listed above, then you can be sure that the psychopath also lies to you. About everything. All the time. Don’t trust a single thing they say. Making light of everything you think, feel, and experience—for example, “You shouldn’t worry about that” or “You must be joking. That wasn’t a big deal at all!”

Charm

Not to be forgotten! The psychopath begins by charming you. They say things you’ve never heard before. And you’ll be enchanted because it feels so good.

Forgetfulness (deliberate, that is)

The psychopath will simply forget to fetch your clothes from the dry cleaner. Or to buy your favorite jam. Or to phone home from the hotel.

Anger

Starting to shout and yell to force you to back down if you stand up against the psychopath’s madness.

Acting the part of the victim

Even though psychopaths can’t feel sorry for themselves, they can play the role of a victim just as well as anybody else—for example, “I’m so stupid, I should have known better than to borrow your father’s car. Look, now I’ve got it scratched in the parking lot. You’ll hate me for this!”

Rationalization

A common defense mechanism, but here it’s used deliberately. It means fabricating a logical explanation for illogical behavior—for example, “All men look at pornography!” or “Sorry I hit you, but I got so angry when you provoked me.”

Flattery

Does that need any explanation? We all know what it feels like when somebody praises our appearance, our body, our intelligence, or our taste. Psychopaths know it, too. Don’t fall for it!

You can take measures to help protect you from predatory people. If you are already in the clutches of a psychopath, then it might be too late. You will need enormous mental strength to break out from his or her hold. However, there are three preventative steps you can take: Increase your self-awareness. Learn how to recognize psychopathic behavior. Decide how much you value your own worth and self-respect.

The wolf singles out one of the sheep from the flock before it rips it to pieces. Make sure that the psychopath doesn’t single you out and isolate you from your loved ones.

What can you do if you happen to run across one of these people? What can you do if you meet somebody who isn’t actually a psychopath but who behaves like a real bastard nonetheless?

You have two choices:

Offer resistance

Leave

Regardless of what choice the manipulator makes, your resistance will initially be met with dodging and shifting as the manipulator tries to avoid responsibility. This could result in a minor war between you, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that it could all end up a dreadful mess. Your relationship could fall apart because your roles are too ingrained in your shared history.

If, however, you succeed in your resistance, the balance of power in your relationship will change. Initially, this can be rather hard to deal with, because it means you will suddenly have far more responsibility. But if you believe in the relationship, it will be worth the effort.

Here is what to do:

postpone your immediate response and allow time to pass between the event and your reaction to what happened. The problem with responding too fast is that you are reacting exactly as the manipulator wants you to.

Repeat the same thing five hundred times if need be. I’ll get back to you on this when I have finished thinking things over. Full stop.

Take responsibility for yourself and your own life and spell it out, loud and clear, when you’re being manipulated.

When you … (describe what the manipulator is doing that you want them to stop doing)

I feel … (describe exactly what sort of negative feeling is created)

If you stopped … (the objectionable behavior) and instead … (describe what kind of behavior you want to see in this given situation)

Then I am going to feel … (describe exactly what feeling you want to have with your partner/boss/colleague/mother or whomever the manipulator is)

You need to say exactly those things in exactly that order. That way your message will be understood and there’s a good chance that the manipulator will actually listen to you. If they’re essentially a reasonable person who has simply gotten stuck behaving in a harmful manner, then you’ll see them change if you use this method.

When the manipulator falls back to their usual tricks—the silent treatment, shouting, cursing, slamming doors, slamming their fist on the table, angry looks, scornful laughter, tears, sulking, nasty comments, sighing, generally ignoring you, threatening you, or whatever it is that your particular manipulator has succeeded with before—then you firmly say, “I understand that you want me to do/not to do that, but your tactic won’t work.”

Some examples: I know that you want me to do the job for you, but your threats won’t work on me any longer. I realize that you want me to go with you tomorrow, but ignoring me and subjecting me to the silent treatment is not going to have any effect. I can see that you want me to do that, but your anger and your swearing simply won’t work any longer. Calmly explain to them: I know what you’re doing and it won’t work any longer. Drop it.

You’re going to establish a sort of rule book for certain parts of your relationship. This is what I suggest you do:

Explain that from now on you are going to make your own decisions regarding what you are, or are not, willing to do in your relationship. In making those decisions, you are going to consider your own needs as well as the needs of others (including the manipulator).

Explain to the manipulator how you want to be treated—for instance, that you want to be treated with respect, as a person who deserves honesty and consideration; that you want the manipulator to show that they value you as a partner (or daughter or lover or whatever). Say straight out that you will not allow yourself to be hurt in your relationship.

Establish a defined framework and limitations. Tell them that manipulation techniques (preferably naming those that you have observed) will not be tolerated. Do not use threats; they will only make the situation worse. Just explain that you aren’t going to take part in any sort of dialogue that includes manipulation.

Ask the manipulator to confirm that you have needs, principles, opinions, and values that—even if they don’t coincide with those of the manipulator—are not wrong. Explain that just because they think they are right does not mean that you are automatically wrong.

Explain that you expect a higher standard in your relationship from now on and that you have established clear limits for your personal integrity.

Finally, ask (perhaps with a friendly smile and gentle eyes) the manipulator to confirm that they’ve listened to and fully understood your message—and that they’re going to make an effort in the future. That’s it. Once again, it’s not likely that the person who has manipulated you, perhaps for years, will simply say, “Sure, no problem.” But if you’ve followed the earlier six steps in your plan to rebuild your personal integrity, this conversation will not come as a complete surprise.

There is always a risk that the manipulator says that’s the end of it and leavesbyou. That could happen, and it proves one thing: It wasn’t about you. Not really. It was about what you could give the manipulator, and now they want that from somebody else. If they can’t live in your relationship entirely on their own terms, they’re not going to have anything to do with you. And that is the answer to the question: Is this relationship really worth investing in?

Remind yourself of what you’ve learned in this book. If a person has earned your trust, make sure they haven’t earned it for life. What this (undoubtedly very lovely) individual did three months ago isn’t worth anything if they suddenly start to treat you badly today. Always evaluate people by their current behavior, not their earliest.

From _

Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself 

Book by Thomas Erikson

[hayanahed]

Emergency: Help Evacuate My Family From GAZA WAR

Dear Humanity,

I'm Haya from Gaza , from a family of 8 people: my parents, two sons, and four daughters (two of them suffer from allergies).

I've witnessed the evidence of the tragedy that has struck our lives in Gaza, where my family and I have survived amidst numerous previous wars. But today, we face the most dangerous and fierce battle in the current war. The urgent need intensifies for us, as we have nothing left and are unable to secure our basic needs such as food, water, and safe shelter.

Here is our story - On October 7th, our lives changed forever, my family and I evacuated from northern Gaza to southern Gaza, hoping to return soon, but it wasn't meant to be. Our home was surrounded, burned, and then completely destroyed, Our home, once a fortress of hope, now lay in ruins, a stark reminder of our shattered dreams.

The night before we left from the north to the south was terrifying. Shelling sounds were everywhere, making a loud noise that felt like it went through our souls. Every explosions shook the ground like earthquakes, sending shockwaves of fear through our trembling bodies. filling us with fear. The air smelled of destruction and blood, making it hard to breathe. When dawn came, we saw the devastation around us, realizing our home was now a symbol of loss and despair.

We ran into the streets and with each step we took into the unknown streets, we felt as if we were plunging deeper into the abyss of our shattered existence, leaving behind everything we own in our home: Clothes, important official documents, the car, and literally it's almost everything - the enormity of our loss weighed heavily upon us.

Our home it was where we found hope, safety, and made precious memories. Losing it felt like losing years of our lives, leaving us adrift amidst the wreckage of our shattered existence.

A brief video depicting the devastation that struck our home and our entire neighborhood in Gaza.

Desperate Plea: Escaping Gaza's Allergy Nightmare

I, Haya, suffer from severe allergy to penicillin-derived medications, and my sister, Amal, also suffers from severe allergies to medications from my family such as Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.

These allergies create a deep sense of fear and anxiety for us, as we live in a constant state of tension and fear of anything that may require a visit to the hospital. We fear being given inappropriate medications due to the unavailability of suitable treatments in Gaza because of war or lack of awareness and not informing the doctor of our allergies, which could lead to serious consequences threatening our lives.

MY Father Income

Our dreams are heading towards oblivion in the labyrinth of an uncertain future

My story, along with my siblings, represents a united team of four individuals, three of whom are skilled programmers and one graphic designer. We work as freelancers in the world of freelancing.

As for my younger sister, she is a student studying at the College of Architecture. She has always carried a big dream in her heart, a dream of being part of changing Gaza, of making it more beautiful and better. She looked forward to the day when she would receive her degree and start building this dream. But the beginning of the war changed everything. The destruction of infrastructure and universities cast shadows of despair over her dreams.

When I think of my brother in Belgium, I can't help but feel deep sadness. He has been suffering from unbearable anxiety and insomnia since the outbreak of the war. Sleep eludes him at night, and his physical and mental health collapses under the weight of these heavy burdens, negatively affecting his performance at work. Problems and challenges pile up in front of him without the slightest opportunity for rest.

We all feel psychological pressure and extreme anxiety. The war hasn't been limited to external attacks but has deeply infiltrated our daily lives. We search among the rubble for a little safety and the basic resources for survival. Every day comes with a new challenge that we must overcome.

As we sway amidst the rubble of shattered dreams, our souls wrestle and our hearts beat strongly challenging the ravages of war.

Our parents earnestly seek a way to rescue us from this hell, feeling the heavy responsibility for every moment we spend under the shadows of fear and destruction. They dream of a safe place where they can build for us a better future, filled with security and hope, for we deserve life in all its meanings of comfort and peace.

Perhaps this fundraising campaign represents a light in the midst of darkness, it is indeed the only hope we cling to firmly.

I appeal to the world as a whole to hear my cry and the mournful cry of my family in Gaza. We need the helping hand that reaches out to wipe our tears and build a bridge to safety.

Your donation is not just a donation; it's an opportunity to rebuild life and brighten a better tomorrow. Be part of our hopeful story, for we need your hand to start anew.

The purpose of the fundraising campaign

The goal of this fundraising campaign is to rescue my family - my parents, my siblings, and me - through the Rafah Crossing to Egypt, which currently requires $5000 per person. This campaign is our only chance to stay alive, and I humbly request your assistance at this critical time. I will provide you with a comprehensive breakdown of the expenses, committing to transparency and clarity.

All of our important links are here https://linktr.ee/hayanahed

Verified by :

⭐️ operation olive branch, number 26 on their spreadsheet. (On Master list)

⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249 on their spreadsheet. Or you could see it as number 212 here is the photo for more clear proof

Thank you for your kindness and support.

.جزاكم الله خيراً

yours sincerely;

Haya Alshawish.

[orpheuslament]

friendships end. relationships end. fictional man whos doing even worse than you is forever

[valtsv]

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

[kurocrow]

for that Miku trend on twitter! lets go india 🔥🔥

[dandylion-s]

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

[kosmogrl]

how the world feels when you listen to a song for the first time and immediately know you'll love it forever

[beastwhimsy]

"I should draw Māori Miku!" I said to myself. "Just a fun sketch, it shouldn't take me long" I said to myself. Six hours later I come to with this in front of me and a wrist begging for mercy but holy fuck worth it. I love this trend this was so much fun

PLEASE DON'T REPOST ON OTHER SITES!!! ASK ME FIRST!!!!!

DISCLAIMERS AND NOTES ETC.... I'm Pākehā, meaning I am not of Māori descent. I hold so much respect for Māori people, for their values and traditions, and for the fierce pride with which kapa haka is performed. I thought if I was going to design a Māori Miku, it makes sense to dress her in a kapa haka kākahu, as her whole thing is singing and dancing!!! The moko kauae is not based off any real person's. I referenced the temporary moko kauae a lot of kapa haka performers wear!! Was tricky finding out whether or not depicting her with a moko kauae was a good idea, so I went the safe route- showing an aspect of Māori culture without stepping over any boundaries!! Brown eyed Miku is everything to me shout out brown eyed Miku.... I referenced like seven different outfits to put hers together!! I really hope this looks accurate or at least passable. Thanks to adorkastock for the pose ref!!

[yellbug]

i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named "captain hook". hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like "you. it's always been you. ever since you were born i've known we were meant to be" captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don't WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!

[anxiousangerball]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

[cult-of-yuri]

snake and dragon yuri...

[vampiremother]

love listening to my own playlists. I am so correct and intelligent and inspired

[wuntrum]

the brushes you use for digital art dont Actually matter that much and its more about core art principles and technique or whatever. but maybe this next brush will be the one

[bbybluemochi]

Jennifer's body 🩸