#San Diego Garden Weddings

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Balboa Park Japanese Friendship Garden Engagement Photos | V + K

Balboa Park Japanese Friendship Garden Engagement Photos | V + K As a San Diego engagement photographer, I get to photograph a lot of proposals! I get those same excitement nerves as the one proposing! It’s so exciting to be a part of this momentous event in a couples life! To make it go as smooth as possible, it’s always important to prep with the one proposing ahead of time. In these Balboa…

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Are you mine? - Chapter six: "You killed my father, prepare to die."

Summary: It's a sad moment for the Reids: Gideon has been murdered. This is one of Spencer's darkest moments, but this time, he doesn't have to deal with it alone.  Warnings: Cursing, Criminal Minds spoilers of season 10 Ep 13 "Nelson Sparrow." It's just sad, everything is sad.  Word count: 8.405 words A/N: Hello!! So, who do you think Spencer felt about missing his daughter's first Halloween? I'm sure it was a low blow. What do you think their family disguise was about? I'm thinking Doctor Who, with Raven as a tiny Tardis. 

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Spencer’s point of view

For a few months, things were normal for all of us. Well, as normal as they can be considering we worked at the BAU hunting serial killers week after week. (Y/N) and Kate got along incredibly well, and I could see how much she enjoyed spending time with her. She still missed Prentiss, but knowing she was just a phone call away made things easier this time.

Leaving our baby back home every time we had to go out of town for a case was still incredibly painful. Still, Sofia, Lu, Mikey, and Frank were always there with Raven, which helped us stay focused on work. Honestly, we wouldn’t be able to do it without them.

One thing made us incredibly miserable back then: We missed Raven’s first Halloween because we had to solve a case in San Diego. An unsub was kidnapping kids on October 31st, and though I knew our baby couldn’t go out trick and treating yet, it was heart-wrenching knowing we had missed her first Halloween. We had a family custom planned, and though we wore it the entire 1st of November as we stayed at home, carving pumpkins and watching the "Charlie Brown Halloween special" with her, it just wasn’t the same.

- “I wish we could promise her this is the only celebration we'll miss because of work.”- (Y/N) whispered as we cuddled in bed that night. - “But we both know that’d be a lie.”

- “I just hope next year things will be different.”- I whispered and kissed (Y/N)’s forehead as she snuggled closer.

- “I hope we don’t miss Christmas.”

We had some weird cases during that year. We even had a female unsub who ruined every fairy tale I read to my daughter. She was sure she was Cinderella and kept looking for her prince charming, killing every man who didn’t live up to her fantasy in the way. To catch her, I had to pretend to be a prince, carry one of her shoes like a crystal slipper, and nearly propose. That ended up being the only way she could go with us willingly.

I will never forget (Y/N)’s face as I approached the unsub in a cemetery, without any vest or gun. The whole idea was Hotch’s and I didn’t think it could work, but it turned out that that poor girl was so out of reality that she indeed thought I was her prince charming.

- “Not fair!”- my wife argued as we drove to the cemetery, where Garcia had located her and her newest victim.- “You are supposed to be my prince charming, no one else’s. And why did you take off your wedding right?”- and she pouted and whined, making me chuckle.

- “Come on, chipmunk! You know I am your and only yours. I’m just trying to get this unsub with the least use of force possible. And if she sees the ring she’ll know I’m lying.”

- “One weird movement and I’m gonna take her down.”- (Y/N) replied and I smiled, somehow proud of how jealous she was under the circumstances.

- “Do me a favor kids and stop being so freaking sweet when all of us can hear you.”- Rossi argued in my ear from the SUV right behind ours.

- “Never.”- my wife quickly replied from the back seat and I suppressed a chuckle.

- “Should I remind them I’m in the same car with them?”- JJ joked and (Y/N) smiled right away. It took some of the tension off, considering I knew my wife was upset I wasn’t wearing a vest to face the unsub. But I knew I didn’t need one, she had my back.

When we walked to the unsub, she had a pair of gardening scissors against her poor victim’s neck, and she was about to kill him, so I hurried and grabbed one of the evidence shoes we had from a bad and tried to get her attention, as (Y/N) hid behind a bush, pointing the unsub with a gun, and JJ did the same from behind a tree.

- “Excuse me. May I approach?”- I said, exactly as the Prince Charming did in the bedtime story I had read to Raven before we took off for that case.

- “Who are you? Go away!”- the unsub yelled back at me, and I walked slower, raising my hands, showing her I was not a threat.

- “Please, just give me the chance to speak. I've looked for so long.”

- “What? What are you talking about?”

- “I've searched this entire city trying to find the right person. Are you the right person?”- I made a short pause as I watched the guy she was about to kill move from her side. Her eyes were focused on me, so I continued speaking. -“The dance, the other evening. Do you remember?”

- “The dance?”- she stood up, dropped the weapon, and walked to me. She was indeed defenseless. Poor girl, she was actually sure she was Cinderella, and after knowing her background story, I could only hope she’d find help.

- “I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. We danced the whole night, and then… She was gone. But she left this behind.”- I showed her the shoe and walked a few steps closer to her- “May I?”

And so, I kneeled before her and put on her shoe. She gasped and tears filled her eyes as she stared at me with a big smile and I kissed her hand, like Prince Charming usually does in books, to seal the deal.

- “I brought the carriage.”- it was the only way I could get her into the SUV and into custody.

- “You did?

- “It's waiting for us.”

She seemed so surprised and excited, I didn’t even have to push her, she held my arm as we started walking. I looked at my wife for a second, still hiding behind that bush, still pointing her gun at the unsub, and cut her a short smile, trying to help her relax, until she finally lowered the pistol and smiled back at me.

We had a bunch of crazy cases that year, but nothing, not even the hardest mysteries we’d had to crack, could have ever prepared me for that phone call and the drive in the middle of the night to Gideon’s cabin.

He was dead. Murdered. And it felt like a part of my chest was empty. He was the closest thing I've ever had to a father, and though we hadn’t talked in years after his departure from the FBI, I knew he was out there, being happy, living his life away from the murderers and cases.

But now he was gone, and we had to finish whoever had done that to him and make him pay.

(Y/N) held my hand the entire drive to his cabin, after dropping Raven with her mother. I didn’t speak much, and she didn’t push me either. I just let the tears fall from my eyes. When we got to the cabin, JJ, Hotch, Kate, and Rossi were already there. I couldn’t say a word as Gideon’s body lay on the ground, covered with a white sheet, like any other corpse we had seen at a crime scene before. Only this time, it was personal.

I tried not to cry, but my chin quivered and (Y/N) quickly held my hand tight. JJ looked at me with a sorry glance and I locked my eyes on the sheet on the floor, still trying to process the fact that it was Gideon’s corpse.

No one said a word for a few minutes. They were all broken hearted, just like me. The record player kept spinning, after playing the last song he ever heard. The chess board was untouched, waiting for him to come back and play. Garcia and Morgan walked in after a few minutes and stood next to us, also shocked and deeply affected.

- “Are you sure?”- Penelope asked Hotch, still not believing it was actually Gideon lying dead in front of us. Hotch nodded and kept his eyes on Garcia as he replied.

- “It’s Gideon.”

That was enough for me. I had to step out of that cabin. I couldn’t deal with that kind of grief. My wife walked behind me and hugged me as I finally broke in tears, and sobbed against her neck as he held me close to her.

- “It’s ok honey, let it all out.”- she whispered and caressed my hair as I cried my heart out. I couldn’t stop. I felt a hole had been dug in the middle of my chest. How could Gideon be dead? How? Who killed him? I needed to find that asshole and make him pay. I knew I was sad and emotional, but the need for revenge was growing fast inside me.

- “How could… who would…”

I couldn’t finish sentences as I cried and held (Y/N) closer to me. Closer as possible. You don’t expect your family to be murdered. And Gideon was like family to me. We hadn’t talked in over eight years, but he was still one of the most important people in my life. He helped me grow, and he taught me so much when I first joined the FBI. He trusted my intelligence, he got everybody to call me a doctor.

How does a guy so smart, so bright, get murdered? What happened? What went wrong? How couldn’t he notice something was going on? Gideon was a legend in the FBI, and to me, he was one of the smartest guys I had ever met. How could that have happened to him?

- “We are gonna solve this.”- my wife whispered and kept caressing my hair. - “We are gonna find out what happened and we are gonna catch whoever killed him.”

I couldn’t answer, all I managed to do was nod as a reply and felt (Y/N) holding me, trying to keep the pieces of my heart together.

JJ walked out of the cabin a few minutes later. She stared at me as I did my best to stop sobbing. I wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable in front of my friends and family- and that’s what the team had always been to me- but I knew I had to put my grief aside and start working as a profiler, ‘cos we needed to solve that case.

- “I am so sorry, Spence.”- JJ whispered and walked to me. (Y/N) unwrapped her arms from my body, making me shiver, missing her warmth immediately. JJ hugged me for a moment, but it wasn’t as comforting as (Y/N)’s arms. Not mean to compare, but it just didn’t do much for me. However, I hugged my friend tight and sighed, thinking it had to be hard for her as well. Gideon wasn’t just my team partner. It was everybody’s, and we were all grieving in the same way. I couldn’t be selfish, that wasn’t about me.

- “Do we know anything?”- (Y/N) whispered and JJ shook her head. She moved and hugged my wife for a moment and I cleared my throat, trying to compose myself.

- “Forensic are on their way to remove the body. Hotch is calling the family.”

And somehow that sentence hit me. It was hard for us to know Gideon had been murdered, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how his family was going to feel. He had a son named Stephen. They weren’t close, that I knew, but that doesn’t mean they hated each other. It’s hard having a family with the job we had. (Y/N) and I knew that very well now. It was double work being present at home and keeping what we saw at work out of the house. But giving our daughter the best we had was our priority. I never wanted her to feel she wasn’t as important as what we did for a living, because she is the world to us.

Morning came sooner than I expected. Somehow it felt like only minutes had passed since we arrived at that cabin. I had only been there once before, the day Gideon left the team and I found his letter for me, saying goodbye. The only memory I had of that place wasn’t better than that moment I was living.

(Y/N) talked with the team as she held my hand. She was the functional one in our relationship at that minute. She knew I needed time to process it all, and she let me. But never, not even once, did she stop holding my hand.

A team of criminalistic took Gideon’s body from his cabin and I just stood there, staring at the scene, unable to move. I couldn’t even say a word. I just glued my eyes to the ground, reliving all the memories I had with Jason in my mind over and over again. I remembered when I first joined the team and we had our first case. He picked me to be on the team even when I was still very young. I was the younger agent to join the BAU, and he trusted my knowledge and my abilities, even when I didn’t.

Gideon taught me about serial killers and how to catch them. He taught me about chess and life. He even tried to help me get a date with JJ back in the day.

- “Remember how much he hated us hanging out when I joined the team?”- (Y/N) whispered, reading my mind at the moment. It was the first thing she had said to me in at least half an hour and all I managed to do as a reply was to nod.

- “He once called me to his office and told me I was being selfish with the team, ‘cos the way I was influencing you was taking your mind from work, and that you were the smartest of us all.”- my wife confessed after over ten years. I remembered that day exactly, she had walked out of Gideon’s office nearly crying, and I gave her candies to cheer her up.

- “You never let that get in the way of our friendship and I think eventually he realized I was a good influence on you.”- (Y/N) whispered and turned to me. I looked at her puffy eyes and sighed, they were still sparkling, even with all the sadness I could read on them.

- “Though he never got you tickets to go to a concert with me.”- she teased and cut me a warm smile.

- “I love you.”- I replied and wrapped my arms around her. - “Thank you for supporting me.”

- “Always.”- she answered and kissed my lips sweetly. - “Hotch wanted us to go with Morgan and talk with the M.E. but if you don’t want to go…”

- “No, I have to.”- I quickly answered and wiped the few tears that had fallen from my eyes as I spoke.

- “You don’t have to do anything, honey.”

- “I owe it to Gideon. I have to help the team.”

The entire drive to the M.E. we were silent. We took our car and (Y/N) drove us there. Morgan was waiting for us right outside, standing next to his SUV.

- “How are you?”- he asked us and neither of us replied. I looked at him and felt him tapping on my back a few times- “Come on, kids.”- he whispered and walked with us inside. Neither of us wanted to be, that was a fact.

We walked the same halls we had been in a thousand times during the years, and we met with the same team we had worked with a million times. They all knew how hard that was for us, and they were kind enough to try to make it easier.

- “Out of respect, I kept him covered.”- the doctor said as we stood in front of Giden’s dead body.

- “Appreciate that.”- Morgan replied and I felt (Y/N)’s hand squeezing mine.

- “'Cause of death was hypovolemic shock due to ballistic trauma. Three points of entry: left shoulder, right abdominal wall, and right temporal.”- the doctor started and I felt sick immediately.

- “Did he suffer?”- Derek asked the question we were all thinking and I didn’t move my eyes from the sheet. It was slowly covering staining with blood.

- “Not for long, no.”- the forensic quickly responded and as she continued talking, Morgan turned and looked at me, not saying a word. - “His brain stopped working before he was able to process his last breath. After the final shot, he was gone within a fraction of a second.”

- “Would you excuse us, please?”- Morgan’s words sounded like a whisper in that room, and the doctor nodded.

- “Of course.”

- “Thank you.”- as soon as she was out of the room, Derek turned to me and the tears started to fall slowly from my eyes. (Y/N) rubbed my back and kissed my hand as she continued holding it.

- “Did you hear any of that, kid? He didn't suffer.”- I couldn’t even tell him I understood, ‘cos tears filled my eyes and I nearly started sobbing- “Listen to me. Listen to me. I know you are not alone, I know you have your wife to support you, but you two are not going through this on your own. Sometimes you two put up these walls and you block us out, and you can't do that, not right now.”

I know to this day that he was right. Before being in a relationship, me and (Y/N) would do that to the world. We had our own little bubble and we would live there, help each other, and never rely on anyone else. Like we did when she helped me get clean and sober. After we started dating, that bubble became more exclusive. The way we handled Prentiss’ death was just a glimpse of how we worked. We were a team of our own and we would leave everybody out.

- “We need you, kids. Gideon needs you. Both of you.”- Morgan finished his speech and hugged me tight. He looked at (Y/N) and hugged her too, as she tried her best not to cry and remain strong.

- “I'm going to step right out there, and when you two are ready… let's go get this son of a bitch.”

(Y/N)’s point of view

One of the scariest things about Gideon’s death was dealing with the awful truth: we were all potential victims. Yes, it wasn’t the first time we had to face that fact, but you usually forget it. You are under an incredible amount of stress, dealing with serial killers, trips, your daily routine, and taking care of your baby, your house, and your husband. And then this hits you: You can die. All of your team could be in danger. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Honestly, it’s nerve-wracking.

I had held Spencer’s hand since the second we got that phone call and I wasn’t planning on letting it go. I knew how hard that situation was for my husband and I was not going to let him go through it alone. Never.

Morgan left us alone with Gideon’s corpse and Spencer cried for a few seconds. I hugged him and let my own tears fall free as we simply stood in front of Gideon’s body. After a silence, filled with our sobs, I let my husband go and turned to the body.

- “So, as you may know, we got married.”- I started talking and felt Spencer’s hand holding mine tighter in a second. - “It’s been three years already, and we have a little girl. Her name is Raven. You would have loved her. She is so smart, like her dad.”

- “Like her mom.”- Spencer corrected me and I brushed the tears that kept falling down my face as I continued speaking.

- “She is going to be one year old in a few weeks, and we are planning a big party. She loves animals and bedtime stories. Spencer reads her for hours before putting her down to bed.”- my chin kept quivering as I spoke, but I continued fighting the tears and made a long pause, trying to recompose myself.

- “We miss you.”- Spencer whispered- “I miss you.”

His voice broke at the end of that last word, but after a few seconds, he continued talking. 

- “I hope you are proud of the man I became, ‘cos you had a lot to do with who I am today. Every time I am scared and feel like quitting, I remember when you told me “We all have bad dreams. Everyone on the plane, who wouldn't? We hunt the worst of humanity, we see the depths of depravity, we dream of monsters.” And yet, you left us. I guess I understand why you did it. However, I don’t understand why you turned your back on us. Why didn’t you call? Why not send a letter after that goodbye? We were a family, or at least that's how I felt about you.”

My husband was opening his heart, and the only thing I could do was to hold his hand and encourage him to let it all out. That was the time to do it. The moment to start healing from any wound that the end of his relationship with Gideon left him.

- “I’m sorry you felt like you needed to leave us behind. There were so many times when I wished I could still talk to you. Ask you things, get your advice. It wasn’t just serial killers. You were my friend. And as you remember, I don’t have many friends. That hasn’t changed much.”

- “And I’m still a very bad influence for him”- I had to add and chuckled- “But I still try to make him eat his greens at every dinner.”

- “You force me.”- Spencer argued immediately and I nodded.

- “That remains the same, as you can notice.”- my words were a soft whisper as I moved closer to the table, Spencer holding still my hand. - “Thank you for everything, Gideon. I’m sorry things ended up like this. I wish you could have come to our wedding. I wish we could have had one last conversation, to know if you were ok. But I give you my word, we are gonna catch whoever did this to you, and we are making them pay.”

Spencer took a deep breath and didn’t say a word for a moment. I looked at him and cut him a short smile, caressing his hand with my thumb as I still held it tight.

- “Thank you, Gideon. I will always remember our conversations, all of them. You changed my life. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you. I owe you so much…”- he sobbed for a moment, letting it all out. It broke my heart to see my husband so affected, but it was a good thing he was being open about his feelings. He wasn’t hiding how he felt, and between us that was a great improvement. He finally understood I didn’t need him to be perfect, I wanted him to be honest. That was it.

- “Goodbye, my friend.”- Spencer whispered, wiped the tears from his face, and sighed, looking at me.- “I’m ready. Let’s catch this guy.”

I cut him a short, warm smile and nodded. I gave him a Kleenex and ran my thumb across his cheek. When we walked out of there, Morgan was waiting for us. He didn’t say a word, he just looked at us and started walking. It was time to go back to the cabin and investigate this case as any other case. We had to be profilers.

Back at the cabin, JJ, Kate, and Penelope were going through some of Jason’s things, tracing his last steps. Spencer and I walked in and overheard the last part of their conversation, as Morgan followed us closely.

- “Ok, Gideon fueled up every 350 miles, he probably stopped at some diners along the way, 'cause, you know, the man could like live off of milkshakes.”- Pen rambled as she kept staring at the screen in front of her. - “Definitely he took his sweet time going down the coast, but booked it back from Jacksonville, and instead of coming here home to his cabin, he stayed one night in Roanoke.”

- “Why? It's only an hour away.”- Kate asked but her words were ignored ‘cause JJ noticed us and looked at my husband with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen.

- “Spence?”

- "I just don't understand any of it anymore. I guess I'm just looking for it again, for the belief I had back in college, the belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right."- Spencer quoted the letter Gideon had left him as he stared at a book with a picture of Sarah and her date of death.

- “That's beautiful.”- Kate whispered and looked at us, probably not knowing what else to say. - “Who's Sarah?”

- “Gideon's first love.”- I answered and looked around, still feeling wrong for snooping into someone else’s life. Someone who had taken us out of his life.

- “You're remembering the letter Gideon left you.”- JJ kept staring at Spencer and he nodded, avoiding eye contact with anyone in that room. He just stared at the book in his hands and continued talking.

- “I'm thinking maybe he rushed back and stayed in Roanoke because he was finally happy. What if he found someone like Sarah again?”- Spencer sighed and turned around. He wasn’t ready to be at that cabin again, neither of us was, but we had to start working. I started walking behind him, but Rossi stopped me before I walked out of the door.

- “Principessa, wait. Let Spencer deal with his emotions alone for a moment.”- I stood by the door and looked at my husband outside, just walking around, looking at his feet. - “How's the kid?- David asked Morgan, I guess I wasn’t supposed to hear 'cause he was whispering, but I was right there.

- “Not great. But he'll get his head back in the game.”

- “Come here”- Rossi said looking at me and I walked over, still trying to see what Spencer was doing.- “How are you doing?”

- “I’m… shocked, I guess.”- I murmured and felt his arm around me. - “What about you? He was your friend, you were the fathers of the BAU.”

- “We are going to find whoever did this, then and only then I’ll be able to deal with what happened.”

Rossi’s words sounded a lot like any FBI agent would react: logical. Somehow I felt I was never going to be able to react that way if someone I loved was involved in a case.

- “Rossi, this is crazy.”- Morgan started talking, still trying to wrap his head around what had happened- “Gideon and I used to walk around scenes like this all the time. He'd always say to me, "Morgan, I'm the unsub. How did I do it?"”

- “Well, first I shoot my target from a distance, wounding him. Then I move in for the kill.”- Rossi replied, keeping his head cold, and being a profiler on duty.

- “Gideon has the strength to shoot a few rounds into the door. But he misses.”- Derek walked to the door and stared at the scene. - “Because I've weakened his dominant hand. Gideon didn't have the strength to hold his gun steady.”

- “So, I stand over. I get off on this. My face is the last thing he'll see. And then I finish him.”- Rossi adds and stares at the blood stains on the carpet.

- “But wait a second.”- I finally interrupted them and looked at the room around me like a crime scene, and not Gideon’s living room.- “If most of the gun was from here to the door, why did Gideon shoot way over here to this wall? That makes no sense unless he did it on purpose.”

- “You are right, pretty girl. Shot's gotta mean something.”- Derek nodded and the three of us stared at the whole on the wooden wall. Rossi grabbed the painting that had fallen due to the gunshot: it was a creepy sparrow picture.

- “The devil is in the details.”- David said and sighed- “Do you mind if I take Boy Wonder with me for a ride?”

- “Of course”- I answered - “Just let me say goodbye.”

- “It’s just a ride, Bella.”- Rossi cut me a short smile, and I nodded.

- “I know.”

Spencer left with Rossi and I was left with the girls. The first thing Penelope asked was how Spencer was doing, and I simply shrugged and sighed.

- “As well as expected, I guess.”

- “Were he and Gideon close?”- Kate asked and I nodded thinking “close” wasn’t the word I would use to describe that relationship.

- “They had a friendship that was more like a father and son relationship. He took so much care of Spencer when he first joined the BAU, he was actually upset we were friends.”- I explained and both JJ and Penelope smiled, nodding, probably remembering how it used to be when Gideon worked with us.

- “Upset you were friends? Why?”- Callahan demanded to know.

- “Well, I was somehow… a bad influence for Spencer.”- I whispered and sighed.

- “You two once got to work drunk!”- JJ said and chuckled- “I still remember Gideon’s look when you two sat at the table wearing sunglasses.”

- “Drunk?!”- Kate nearly yelled, shocked. Morgan walked over and overheard the conversation, and of course, he had to add his 5 cents to the topic.

- “Little Ricky smelled like whisky and beer. It was one of the best BAU moments.”

- “They called us at 3 in the morning, for Christ's sake!”- I argued and Pen giggled staring at me- “We had had a few drinks with some friends. It’s not like we were wasted.”

- “Jr. G man was so proud, though”- Garcia said - “I remember he told me he had so much fun that night, that your friends were the best, that everybody was nice to him. And that he even learned how to skateboard that night.” - I was about to add something to that memory, when JJ suddenly said.

- “Gideon really treated Spencer like a kid. Remember that birthday he gave Spence tickets to a football game, even when Spencer has never been a sports fan, so he could take me out on a date?”

Looking back at that moment, I think I should have noticed it was wrong that JJ kept bringing up every chance she could that she went out on a “date” with my husband. Penelope and Kate looked at me, waiting for my reaction, but I just shrugged and smiled.

- “He is screwed now, my family forces him to have football Sundays when we get together. And call me crazy, but I think he enjoys it.”

About two hours later, we got a call from Rossi and Spencer. They had a clue. Apparently, Gideon had been killed by an unsub they never caught in the area back in 1978.

- “The last thing Gideon did was to shoot a bird painting. I think he was trying to tell us that his killer is the same one from a case we worked on in 1978.”- Rossi said through the line.

- “So it was someone he locked up.”- Kate suggested, but the answer was no.

- “No, those murders went unsolved.”

- “So if this wasn't about revenge on Gideon if he didn't lock the guy up, then what was this?”- Morgan asked, looking confused.

- “We all knew Jason, he might have retired from the BAU, but there is no way he ever stopped working. I’m sure he was investigating that case if he never solved it back in the days.”- I said, thinking it was a very Gideon thing to do: retire to never ever retire indeed.

- “Exactly, maybe he went after Gideon because he was back on the case again.”- Rossi agreed with me.

- “The unsub was strangling 20-something brunettes.”- Spencer said through the line and I wished I could be with him, holding his hand. - “Garcia, were there any female bodies found in Roanoke County in the past few days?”

- “Let me check the crystal web ball.”- after a few seconds, Pen had the answer. - “Yes. An unidentified woman in her 50s was found in a shallow grave just outside of Salem.”

- “Was she strangled?”- Rossi asked right away.

- “That's the mystery. There was no foul play.”- Garcia answered shaking her head.

- “Was there a dead bird in her hand?”- Spencer asked and we all frowned, confused.

- “What? Eew. None of that fowl play either.”- Pen looked grossed

- “Hon, why the bird? Is that his signature?”- I asked.- “I’m guessing it wasn’t a random question.”

- “Yes, apparently, they were the unsub's obsession.”- Spencer answered.

- “So how did Gideon get back on the case?”- Kate questioned and looked at us - “I mean, he was retired, he should have been… bird watching. I don’t know.”

- “He saw the story in a national paper and it obviously piqued his interest.”- JJ suggested- “What are the chances that the same woods and the same ritual make headlines again?”

- “But the signature was missing.”- Kate pointed out.

- “It’s Gideon we are talking about. I think he knew something we haven’t discovered yet.”- I suggested and Hotch nodded. - “Or he had one hell of a hunch.”

- “That's why he drove to Roanoke. He needed to make sure it wasn't just a coincidence.”- Rossi supported my words through the line.

- “Well, clearly it wasn't.”- Morgan whispered.

- “And this woman would have been in her 20s back then. Age-wise, that's his type.”- Garcia pointed out and I nodded.

- “It's all there. He just connected the dots.”- I sighed and shook my head. - “If only he would have called us and asked for help.”

- “Don’t go there, principessa”- Rossi said from the other side of the line. - “What’s done it’s done. We can only try to help him finish what he needed to get done.”- I sighed one more time and nodded, which was incredibly stupid considering David couldn’t see me.

- “If she was a victim, then she was held captive for 37 years. Who knows what he did to her in all that time?”- Kate said and my mind went to a very dark place immediately. We needed to give that poor victim the justice she deserved as well.

- “What if he stopped killing because he found the victim he really wanted and held on to her?”- Spencer suggested.

- “Her recent death could have sent the unsub into a tailspin. He's probably gonna want to find someone new.”- Morgan added and we all nodded.

- “And if it's anything like what he did before, he may hunt and kill until he finds the right one.”- JJ added the part we knew but didn’t want to think of: that it might be the start of a new massacre.

- “We'll meet you in Roanoke, Dave.”- Hotch said and we all started walking outside. Only Garcia and JJ remained at the cabin, retracing Gideon’s last steps, while, Kate, Morgan, Hotch, and I got into an SUV and drove to town.

On our way over we kept talking on the phone with Rossi, Spencer Garcia, and JJ. When we got to Roanoke I was paired with Morgan, which was nice. He didn’t ask much about how I was feeling, we both focused on the case and tried our best to be professional and headed to the morgue to identify the victim’s body.

- “That ink's pretty faded.”- Derek pointed out staring at a butterfly tattoo on the victim’s ankle.

- “Yeah, she must have got that 40 years ago.”- I whispered and turned to the M.E - “What was the C.O.D.?”

- “Cancer.”- he answered with a troubled stare in his eyes. Clearly, something was bothering him.

- “Cancer?”- I questioned and he just nodded.

- “She was riddled with it. No evidence of tissue damage from chemo or radiation.”- the forensic started explaining- “At first I thought her severe muscle atrophy and bone loss was a side effect of the disease. And she clearly lost her appetite, because her stomach shrunk to half its size.”

- “You said at first you thought it was about the disease. What changed your mind?”- Morgan took the words from me as he looked at the M.E. waiting for an answer.

- “Well, I hadn't finished the exam when I explained all of this to the other one… what's his name?”- there was a brief silence after that question, Derek and I looked at each other immediately.

- “Gideon.”- I replied, trying to look like it wasn’t weird at all to talk about him like he hadn’t been just killed.

- “Yes, him. Now that I've had time to fully examine the body, it tells a different story. She's got ripped ligaments between her pelvic girdle and femur bone like her legs had been dislocated multiple times. She's got calluses like she was crawling around like a limp dog.”

Every word that explained the excruciating pain that poor woman had been through during all the years she had been held captive, hurt me. I can’t imagine how Gideon felt to know she had been alive all those years, waiting for someone to rescue her.

- “Have you ever seen that before?”- I dared to ask, though I imagined the answer.

- “Yes. On three young women many years ago.”

It was the same unsub.

Hotch, Spencer, and Rossi were waiting for us outside the morgue. My husband was holding a paper bag with a bagel and a hot cup of coffee.

- “You need some breakfast.”- he whispered as I smiled, blushing. Yes, I would still blush every time he made a sweet gesture like that. I hadn’t even finished opening the bag when JJ called and he put her on speaker.

- “Hey, Hotch, there's another missing woman. You need to get to the library on Third and Main right now.”

And off we were. At least I was finally with Spencer again.

Spencer’s point of view

That day was hard. Hard doesn’t even begin to explain it, but for the lack of a better word, let’s go with “hard.” Everything had been uphill. I even called Sofia and asked if I could video chat with my daughter as we drove back from talking with the victim’s mother. That was a balm for my soul. Finally being with my wife helped as well. I understand Rossi wanted to put an eye on me and talk about what was going on, but I really didn’t want to be apart from her that day. She was my happy place.

- “Today’s victim, Josie Behdart, 23, single, she walked to work. Local cops just found her cell phone in a trash can and, surprise, no cameras.”- Kate said as she and Hotch walked toward us at the library parking lot, holding a police file with all the info about the abduction.

- “And all the original reports confirm that each of the victims was taken within a mile of this library.”- our Unit Chief added.

- “Well, needless to say, this guy has a comfort zone to hunt”- (Y/N) pointed out and I nodded.

- “It hasn't changed since '78.”- Morgan added - “My guess is there's another significance to this location.”

- “A library could be an ideal hunting ground. A haven for the lonely. Let me check it out.”- I said and started walking. But before taking another step I turned around and looked at my wife. I didn’t even have to say a word, she was already walking behind me.

Honestly, it felt good to know she wasn’t going to leave my side. And no, that is not something I could ever take for granted.

- “You haven’t taken off your scarf.”- (Y/N) whispered as we walked to the main door of the library's old building.

- “I love this scarf, you gave it to me on January 16th, 2006, almost two months after we met.”- I pointed out and she smiled. Not your regular “that’s funny” smile, a hearty one. A “I love you smile.” I live for those smiles from her.

- “I know, honey. I remember that day too. But what I meant was it's not cold anymore, aren’t you warm?”

- “No, I’m ok. Have you talked with your mom?”

- “Yeah, she and Raven were out for a walk.”

- “Ok Reids. What are we looking for?”- Morgan showed up at our side and looked around. Kate followed him quickly and smiled at us as she said.

- “What? We weren’t going to miss a trip to the library, it’s where the cool kids hang out.”

It was obvious the team was now trying to put an eye on us, maybe even support us or cheer us up a little bit. And it was sweet, in a way. I knew we all loved each other, and we were there in good and bad.

- “Hope you are ok”- JJ texted me a few minutes later, proving my theory. It was nice to know we all had each other’s backs.

I didn’t have much time to reply to JJ’s text because we were pretty busy at the library. It was a small town and Gideon hadn’t gone undetected by the locals. Hotch and Rossi waited for us in a cafeteria, and as soon as we walked back in, we gave them the news.

- “The librarian remembers Gideon. He got a temporary card, checked out these books in the morning, and left them in the drop box on his drive home last night.”- I left the books on the table and moved a chair for my wife, as we all sat at the table with Hotch and Rossi.

- “He left the library and came here to read books.”- Callahan whispered sadly as he sat down, probably trying to see which one of the seats he had taken.

- “Yeah, that is just classic Gideon and classic profiling.”- (Y/N) added and kept her eyes on the book on the table. - “I don’t know why I find it comforting knowing exactly what he did that last day.”

- “He sat right here to let the unsub know he was watching.”- Morgan said, nodding.

- “But if Gideon was so sure he lured the right guy, why didn't he tell us?”- my wife questioned and looked at us. I couldn’t give him an answer, because I asked myself the same the entire day.

- “It's like the unsub was his white whale.”- Kate analyzed and her words made sense. - “He wanted to catch him on his own, and his last move was when the unsub targeted him.”

- “The age of the victims has stayed the same as the unsub has aged.”- Hotch pointed out. - “It speaks to his arrested development.”

- “So the question is what it's always been: Why them? Why now?”- Morgan commented and (Y/N) nodded.

- “Back to profiling one on one.”- and we all sighed - “Ok, give me those books, let’s see what Gideon was reading about.”

We all read for a while, I tried to do it as fast as possible, but I was having a hard time concentrating. The waitress brought us coffee, which we all gladly welcomed, and offered us pie. Hotch said no and I nearly pouted. I could have had some. I needed sugar to function.

- “This is it. Nelson's sparrow.”- Rossi pointed at a book after a while.- “It's what the unsub left in their hands because its behavior matched that of the insecure victims.”

- “So the unsub really knew his birds and where to find them.”- Morgan said, looking exhausted. I’m sure we all looked like that considering we hadn’t slept at all.

- “Is there some kind of bird lovers club in the area?”- Kate asked and (Y/N) grabbed her phone right away.

- “Let me call an expert. Hey Garcia, you are on speaker. Tell me, are there any nature centers or bird-watching chapters in the area?”

- “There's an old-timey bird-watching group called the Flappers, median age of like 89. They started in the sixties. Most of the members have gone extinct.”- Garcia announced in a matter of seconds.

- “And chances are the unsub and his victims weren't a part of that group, so where else would he meet them?”- Kate asked, as Aaron grabbed the picture of the unsub’s victim and showed it to us.

- “Tara was his ideal.”

- “What made her so special for him?”- (Y/N) asked, focusing on the image.

- “Tara's mother said she was broken.”- Rossi pointed out.

- “And he knew that because he spent more time watching her than the others.”- Hotch commented.

- “So he was basically a stalker. He was able to study her, not just glance as she passed by the window.”- (Y/N) said and I nodded along her words.

- “She was a few years out of high school when she disappeared. Maybe he knew her from there.”- Morgan analyzed, but it didn’t really make much sense.

- “She wasn't very social.”- I said, trying to connect their lives, with how they lived.

- “Well, neither was he, hon.”- (Y/N) said and rubbed my hand with her as she smiled at me for a moment.

- “They were both in their 20s when she was taken.”- Hotch pointed out. - “If they weren't friends in high school, maybe they worked together?”

- “Tara's mom said right out of school she bagged groceries.”- I added and Garcia replied in a matter of seconds.

- “I've got Tara working at Joe's on Main summer of '76 through '77.”

- “Are there any employees at Joe's supermarket who started in the seventies and are still there?”- Hotch asked and I raised an eyebrow.

- “You do realize you are asking for the impossible, right?”- (Y/N) whispered and our Unit Chief simply raised an eyebrow.

- “But I’m asking Garcia, I know she delivers.”

- “Well, that's nearly 40 years ago in a galaxy far, far away that wasn't using my magic binary boxes, but, yeah, the place is still family-owned and operated. Give me a hot minute.”

- “Thank you, Pen.”- (Y/N) said and I held her hand as she cut me a little smile.

- “Ok. Three of the people still working there are women. That leaves two males. There's a name I've heard before. Mallick.”- it took Garcia less than two minutes to gather the whole information. A new record.

- “Who?”- Hotch asked, confused.

- “Gertie Mallick was one of the founding members of the bird group. Died in 1974. Her next of kin was her nephew Donnie Mallick, who inherited her farm and... buys enough birdseed to let me know I should send you his address.”

We had a suspect and most likely, our Unsub. Gideon’s murderer.

As Hotch drove us to Mallick’s last known address in the middle of nowhere, I couldn’t stop analyzing his life. His mother gave birth to him at only fourteen, and at eighteen she was sent to a mental facility for schizophrenia, and her four-year-old son was sent to live with his only living kin, a 72-year-old wheelchair-bound Aunt Gertrude. A part of me pitied him. He never had a normal life, he had most likely inherited his mother’s condition. I could relate to the fear and the pain.

But he had killed Jason Gideon. My mentor, my biggest influence. I wanted to shoot the guy, I wanted to give Gideon peace and give some sense of what had happened.

That was until I heard his voice in the back of my head as I remembered one conversation we once shared when I still was struggling to pass my firearm qualification exam.

- “Hotch told me that when he came to the BAU, you told him he didn't need a gun to kill somebody?”- I questioned Gideon and he nodded.

- “The only truly effective weapon we have is our ability to do the one thing they can't.”

- “Which is what?”

- “Empathize. They dehumanize their victims, we humanize the killers.”

I took a deep breath and nodded to myself. I wasn’t going to let my emotions take the best of me that day.

When we got to the house, we divided, and luckily, (Y/N) stayed with me as we went through the back. The gunshot warned us in a matter of minutes, Rossi got the unsub. And he was dead. I thought I was gonna be relieved to see him there, but no. I just felt sad for him, for his life, and for the women he had tortured and killed. At least Gideon’s work was finished.

Did Mallick give a reason to Rossi to pull the trigger? I don’t know. But I know I’m glad it wasn’t me. I wanted to go home and still be myself. A good version of myself. One that could be Raven’s dad and (Y/N)’s husband.

I was gonna miss Gideon, always, but I knew I was never gonna be him, and that was a good thing. 

Next chapter

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

[sarah-dipitous]

One rainy October 14th ago, I was about to sit down to eat some broccoli cheddar soup and watch Over the Garden Wall when I decided it was finally time for me to actually go see the cat that had been incessantly meowing outside my window only to find this little bean of a kitten out there

Today, yet another drizzly October 14th, I picked Meg and Katana up on my way home from my cousin’s wedding in San Diego. As I got into the parking lot of the pet hotel, the clouds started to part enough that a double rainbow appeared.

Happy Gotcha Day, Megumi!!!

[lilacflowershop]

Lilac Flower Shop provides flowers of your choice for your wedding.

Roses Regardless of the situation, roses are the ideal traditional flowers. They truly do have something for any wedding style because they are romantic and available in a multitude of colors. One of the few flowers you can always find are roses. Most of them are adapt well to many different conditions and really hearty.

Roses work well in bouquets as well as elaborate installations of all sizes. They're less expensive overall, especially when purchased in large quantities.

Pick from traditional rose varieties in shades of pink, white, and red. Whether you want a single rose or an arrangement of roses, or to combine a few, garden roses are also a lovely choice. The higher-end variety of roses are called a garden rose. They're one of my favorite flower types to include in arrangements because they're lovely, soft, and have a lot of movement to their stems.

Peonies Without a doubt, peonies are the most preferred springtime wedding flower. These huge, uniquely textured blossoms have various textures on their petals. They come in a variety of colors and variations, and each has a unique petal structure. Larger spaces or statement pieces like an all-peony bouquet work well with peonies. Because of their size, fewer stems are needed to fill in a given area.

Peonies are such a striking flower that it's impressive to use even a single stem in a bud vase.

Lilies Lilies have magnificently big petals and are a classic, beautiful bloom. They come in a variety of hues, including as orange, red, yellow, pink, purple, and white. Since they blossom throughout the summer, using them to provide a romantic touch to an outdoor summer wedding is ideal.

Lilies are a larger flower, so they can stand alone as a bouquet on their own or as a little posy with just one stem combined with baby's breath or foliage. They can also be added to more elaborate arrangements with plenty of other flowers.

Hydrangeas Hydrangeas are very well-liked because of their striking yet delicate appearance. Despite being composed of tiny petals, the clusters have a significant effect. In addition, they come in a range of hues, including as white, pink, blue, and purple. For ceremonial arches, hydrangeas work well.

Hydrangeas can also be combined into a dramatic bouquet or utilized as gorgeous single-flower centerpieces. You definitely don't need as many stems to make an impression because of how big they are!

Sunflowers Sunflowers are a popular option for wedding flowers, and it's easy to see why with their cheery yellow color and billowing petals. Sunflowers provide every scene a striking burst of color and texture. You can arrange single stems on their own, combine them into a centerpiece, or match them with other smaller flowers.

Since sunflowers are edible, they're a great option for cake toppings or for finishing the outside of cakes with pressed, dried petals. Although yellow sunflowers are the most common type, various kinds of this bloom can give an arrangement hints of orange and crimson. Sunflowers are a gorgeous option for summer to early fall weddings, and they are most easily accessible while they are in season. San Diego Wedding Florist.

[callsign-magnolia]

I Hope You Dance // Ch. 41

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

A/N: This is cross posted to my Wattpad, so if this seems familiar that is why!

TW: Mental abuse, emotional abuse, slight physical abuse, death and loss.

Description: When Caila meets Rooster, sparks fly. But, she's already married, to a man who she thought loved her, and won't let her go. Rooster will fight for her, he just has to convince Caila to fight for herself.

Word Count: 7.0k

Chapter 40 | Masterlist

It was a warm and sunny day in San Diego, perfect for viewing venues. I pulled the Bronco up next to Penny’s Porsche, her and Mav leaning against it and talking. “There she is! The Bride-to-be!” Mav yelled as I got out, wrapping me up in a hug. Once he let go, Penny hugged me. “So, how’d you find this place?” She asked, turning to look at the victorian home in front of us. “Passed it on the way back home from looking at that last hotel.” She nodded as we walked onto the porch. I caught sight of the Kingston Estate as I sat in traffic coming back from the last venue I checked out. When I looked online they had a garden in the back, as well as a hillside that gave you a view of the ocean, perfect to get married in front of. We walked inside as a woman in a suit walked up to us. “Hi, you must be Miss Motley.” I nodded, shaking her hand. “I’m Margaret, will your fiancé be joining us?” I shook my head. “He’s currently deployed. He’ll come back in April.” She smiled and nodded. “Well here. These have our package options, we offer catering, a photographer and videographer, and we can even make your cake in house.” I raised my brows as she went over everything they did, and the prices on the sheet weren’t that bad.

“Now let me show you the ballroom.” “Oh, can we actually see the garden and the outdoor space first?” She nodded, having us follow her outside. We walked out a large set of gorgeous french doors, leading into a large open space. “Now this is where you would have the ceremony outside. We supply chairs as well as an archway that you can decorate as you, please. If it is too windy that day, we can move it inside, but hopefully we wouldn’t have too.” It was so open and spacious out here, the grass was soft and green, and you could smell the flowers from the garden when a breeze blew by. “You think Bradley will like it?” I turned to Mav who nodded. “Oh yeah, this is something he’d enjoy.” I smiled, nodding. “Okay, let me show you the garden.” We followed her around the corner and all kinds of flowers in many different colors invaded my vision. “Oh wow!” Penny gasped as we walked around. Rows on rows of flowers were everywhere, and there was even a small pond with fish inside. “I really really like this.” The smile wouldn’t leave my face and my muscles were aching. “Would you like to see the inside now?” I nodded and we followed behind her. “Okay, this is our main ballroom.” She opened the double doors to reveal a large room with white and black tiled floor. Tall windows allowed for the sunlight to pour in which made the room seem so warm.

“This is where your reception would be. We provide tables, chairs, a screen for pictures or videos, and space for a band or DJ. We can decorate however you wish. A lot of people these days like the bright neons, but we do have some warm yellow lights that we can hang.” I nodded. “Warm lighting for sure, I’m not a fan of a club element at weddings and neither is Roo.” She nodded. “We have a list of bands and DJ’s that have worked with us, and we recommend as well.” I nodded, just amazed at the room. “Against this wall here we have the bar. You don’t have to use it but if you do you have the option of an open bar or guests paying.” I nodded still mesmerized by the room. The gold chandelier hung over the center of the floor, the morning sunlight bouncing off it. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to our bridal suite and our grooms suite.” We followed her up the grand staircase, the windows showing a beautiful view of the ocean. She took us to the right, towards the groom’s suite, swinging the door open and allowing us into the large room. There was a pool table, a wet bar, a large bathroom with a shower, darts, a large couch and a few chairs and a tv. “There is a bedroom through here, many grooms decide to stay here the night before.” She opened the door to see a smaller bedroom that had a queen size bed. I nodded, as we looked around. “We also have a large closet with a steamer for tuxedos.”

It was nice, nicest I had seen yet and the best price for what we were getting. “Now, the bridal suite.” I was excited to see this, almost skipping behind Margaret on the way over. She swung the door open, and I gasped. Everything was white, bright and beautiful. Tall windows like the rest of the house with sheer white curtains around them, plush white carpet, a wet bar, tv, a living room set up, and a few vanities spread throughout the room. “The bathroom has everything the groom’s suite does, as well as a king-sized bed in that room.” We walked over and it looked so plush and soft, white blankets making it look crisp and clean. “Here we have a hook that you can hang the dress on, a lot of women love to have pictures of just the dress. These are bow windows, and they look beautiful at any time of day, and they make for great pictures.” The excitement was building in my chest. “What do we think?” I asked, turning to Mav and Penny. “Rooster is obviously going to like whatever you like,” Mav said as he tossed his arm over my shoulder. “But I genuinely think he will love this.” I nodded as Penny stepped up next to him. “This screams you guys. It’s classic but not super formal, I can see you guys getting married out there.” I nodded and we followed Margaret down to her office.

“So, what do we think?” I nodded. “I like it, a lot. It’s just screaming at me, but I do have to talk to my fiancé before I book anything.” She nodded, clicking around on her computer. “Okay, well we book out fast and far. When do you talk to him next?” I looked at my phone, looking for the date. “Tomorrow actually.” She nodded, looking up at the clock. “I have four more couples who are looking today. If they all book with us, this can book us out another five months because we already have stuff booked for next year.” My face fell at her words, I was worried we wouldn’t have the short engagement we wanted. “Is there any way I can hold a spot?” She pursed her lips, looking at her computer. “I’m not supposed to, but I’ll tell you what. The next available day we have for a wedding is Saturday December thirty-first. If you put down a deposit on that day, I won’t let anyone else book it. You can talk to your fiancé and call me, but if you don’t call me by Monday, you won’t get that deposit back.” I nodded, whipping out the cash I kept in case I found a venue. “If you do book on the 31st and hang around till midnight there will be fireworks.” I smiled as I handed her the money, nodding. “Thank you so much, Margaret.”

As we got outside, I couldn’t help but do a little dance. “Ah! I found a venue!” Penny and Mav laughed. “It’s really great, Magnolia.” Mav said and I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me. “I know, and I can’t wait to talk to Rooster about it! I’m gonna go home and email him all the info!” They smiled as I got into the Bronco, tearing down the road, joyful as ever. I was surprised when I got home to find a small SUV in the driveway and an older woman standing on the porch. As I pulled in, she turned to me, her facial expression being unreadable as she did so. “Hi, can I help you?” I asked slowly, a little nervous as to why she was here. “Is Bradley here?” She was snippy, rude even. “No, he’s not. But I’m his fiancé, can I help you?” Attitude was dripping from every word as I crossed my arms over my chest and my hip popped out. “You-you’re the fiancé?” She asked, pointing a chubby finger at me. “I am. And you are?” My eyebrow raised as she seemed to huff. “I’m his aunt Matilda, but he calls me Tilly.” So this was his aunt Tilly, I haven’t seen pictures but she was not what I was expecting. “Well, why don’t you come in and I’ll make lunch.” I said as I walked by her, unlocking the door. She seemed a little stunned at my actions but soon turned and followed me.

The dogs were happy I was home, but they were even more excited that Tilly was here. “Oh! Oh! Good doggy.” She said slowly backing away from Dahlia. “Dahlia. Bed.” She slowly turned, ambling over to her bed before flopping down on her side. Sadie had herself propped up on Tilly’s leg, expecting attention. “Sadie.” She got down, looking at me with a side eye before crawling into Dahlia’s bed and curling up next to her. “I’m sorry. Everyone is so used to them that I forget that some people aren’t fond of dogs.” She seemed to calm down once the dogs did, her shoulders visibly relaxing. “Mangy mutts.” She muttered, making me stop, and turn around. “I’m sorry?” She gave me the fakest smile I had ever seen. “Beautiful dogs.” I huffed, getting fed up with this woman already. “Thank you. Bradley has quite the relationship with them, especially Sadie. The little one.” She followed me into the kitchen, a confused look on her face. “Oh no, my Brad Brad is scared of dogs.” I cringed at ‘my Brad Brad’, pulling out some chicken to cook. “Mm, no he’s not. At least if he is he has an odd way of showing it seeing as the dogs’ sleep in the bed with us.” I was getting frustrated wit her. She shows up to our house, being rude and acting like she knows everything.

“Sleep with you? Do you live here?” It sounded incredulous. I nodded as I pulled out some veggies. “Yes, I do. Bradley and I share a house, a bed. We live together and we love it.” She scoffed, leaning back from the island that she leaned on. “In this house? My sister’s house? Which doesn’t even look like her house anymore! Bradley would never make these changes so I can only assume you pushed it on him! Disrespecting my sister and brother in laws memory!” I slammed my knife down, turning to her as she jumped in surprise. “Shut up! The renovation was Bradley’s idea and yeah, I had some input, but for the most part this was him! And disrespecting their memory?” I stormed back out to the living room, pointing to the pictures placed around the house. “Does this look disrespectful to you? Putting pictures of them and Bradley around the house so he can always see them? I dug these out, making sure that they had a special place in this house.” I stormed over to the fireplace. “Their wedding picture, this is Bradley’s favorite and I wanted him to be able to see it whenever he wanted. So don’t come into our house and start talking shit about how we’ve done things.” She seemed taken aback by my words.

“I can’t believe you would talk to me like this! Bradley wouldn’t stand for it!” “Oh, I know all about your relationship. How you shamed him for following his mother’s wishes and all but abandoning him at seventeen. You’re a piece of fucking work and at this point, you’re not welcome in my house.” She was shocked at my words. “I told him not to marry you! You broke his heart too many times! I don’t trust you!” I laughed as I swung the front door open. “I don’t give a fuck if you don’t trust me. Bradley knows I’m not going anywhere. Now, leave.” She huffed before walking outside. “I’ll just come back when he’s home. I had some stuff to give him anyway.” She was fuming as she stormed towards the car. “Well then see you in April, he’s deployed.” She glared at me before huffing. We stared each other down for a minute before she sighed. “Can I at least leave this stuff here? It’s the rest of his mom and dad’s stuff that was at my house.” I pursed my lips. I couldn’t let my feelings towards her keep Roo from getting stuff that means a lot to him. “Of course.” I helped her tote everything in before setting it in the living room. “Thank you.” I nodded at her. “I’d never stand in the way of what he wants.” She sighed, standing up straight. She turned towards the door, grabbing the door handle and swinging it open, gasping when she saw Maverick standing on the other side with his fist up. They stared at each other for a moment before she spoke up. “Pete.” There was so much malice in her voice, it almost made my skin crawl.

“Matilda.” There was just as much venom in his voice. “What are you doing here?” She asked, her hand on her hip. “He came to discuss wedding stuff with me. He’s been a big help since Bradley is deployed.” She huffed, looking up at him. “You will never be able to replace Nicholas.” Mav seemed shocked, so I stepped in. “Okay. First off, he’s not. Rooster asked for him to assist with the wedding while he was gone. No one could ever replace his dad and Maverick is not trying to.” “You don’t know what he did while my sister was sick.” It was taking a lot to bite back my anger at this point. “You mean like how he took care of Bradley while you bitched about Carol’s wishes?” I asked as I took the door from her. “You don’t know anything!” She yelled. “I know enough. Now, please leave. I don’t want to have to force you out.” She stormed past Mav, almost knocking him over in the process. “Have a nice day, Matilda.” Mav yelled after her. She just gave him the middle finger before tearing out of the driveway. We just laughed as I let him in. “Why was she here?” He asked and I motioned to the boxes. “She wanted to drop the rest of the Nick and Carol’s stuff off for Roo. I don’t know what’s in here.” I said as I walked over and opened the top box, gasping when I saw what was inside. “Carol’s wedding dress.” Mav looked at it as tears sprung to his eyes. I grabbed the pile of tulle on top, lace lining it on the outside. “This is her veil.” It was soft and Mav helped me pull it out completely. “I forgot how long it was.” He chuckled before wiping his cheeks. “You think Rooster would let me wear it?” Mav seemed surprised by my question, but a soft smile graced his features. “I think he’d love that.”

Mav originally came over to retrieve a pair of shoes Penny had loaned me, and he stayed to help me hash out a few small wedding details. It was nice to spend this time with him, I’ve known Mav my whole life, but since being out here he really feels like family. The next morning, I sat at the island, my computer in front of me as I sipped my coffee. I emailed Rooster all of the information on the venue yesterday in hopes he got to read it, and now we were about to finalize a few decisions on this call. I opened the kitchen windows while I sat here to let the warm breeze in as well as listen to the waves crash on the beach just out back. The call was loading, all Rooster had to do was pick up on his end. After a few minutes, the constant swirling circle on the screen disappeared and the face of my handsome fiancé replaced it. “Hey, pretty girl!” The screen was a little grainy but I could tell his smile overtook his face and his eyes had a certain glimmer to them. “Hi honey!” I said excitedly. “How’s your morning?” I smiled, picking up my laptop to show him the windows. “I have the windows open, there’s a warm breeze, and I can hear the waves crashing on the beach. Perfect for a Sunday morning!” He gave me a dopey smile, resting his face in his hands. “God, I love you.” I giggled as I sipped my coffee. “I love you too.” I grinned. “So, I did get to look at the venue and the pictures look amazing.” I nodded excitedly, grabbing the paperwork. "It’s even more amazing in person! They have Bridal and Groom’s suites so if one of us wanted to stay there the night before, we could. The ballroom is beautiful, with room for everything. The gardens are magical almost, I figured we could sneak in there right after the ceremony for a few minutes. Just to take a breather and be with each other for a minute before we dive back into the madness.”

He nodded, listening intently to me. “I think that’s a great idea.” I nodded, writing it down. “Okay, so she told me she would hold the one available date they had if I put down a deposit. I can call her after I talk to you, and if we want it it’s ours, and if we don’t she said she would refund us. She’s not supposed to do that but she’s making an exception.” He nodded. “So, what’s the date?” I sighed, not sure he would be on board with it. “December thirty-first.” I bit my lip, staring at him. “Of this year?” I nodded. “Book it! Take it!” He yelled out, making me giggle. “We wanna get married on December thirty-first of this year?” He nodded, and I jotted it down on the notepad in front of me. “I know it’s not the shortest engagement like you wanted, but I’m excited to get to marry you this year.” I shook my head. “I’ll wait a hundred if it means I get to marry you in the end.” His hand flew to his chest, clutching his heart as he leaned back. “It’s so sweet, I’m gonna die.” I laughed as I looked at the paper with notes I took with Mav last night. “So, you know how we were trying to figure out a second color for the wedding?” He nodded. “I was talking with Mav yesterday and I mentioned that, and he had quite the idea.” He raised an eyebrow. “What about Navy and Champagne?” He raised a brow in surprise. “Mav came up with that?” I nodded. “Sure did.” He chuckled. “I’m impressed, and I really like those color ideas.” I nodded. “So, JJ is gonna be the ring bearer.” I nodded, my bottom lip jutting out. “He’ll be able to walk by then.” Roo mimicked my face before laughing. “I don’t know how you can look so cute like that.” I shrugged with a grin at his words.

“I considered asking Amber and Kim if Anita and Isabella could be flower girls.” He sighed. “The only thing is, Anita is super shy. How’s she gonna act if all these strangers are staring at her?” I pursed my lips. “I had thought about that. Maybe have Jake sit up in the front row, that way if she gets overwhelmed, she can run to him. These ceremonies can be long for kids, so I don’t really expect them to stand with us. They can go sit in the front row if they want.” He nodded. “I considered having Jake be a groomsman.” I raised a brow. “I know you guys are getting on a lot better now, but I didn’t expect that.” He shrugged. “We’ve been emailing back and forth while I’ve been deployed, and we’ve just been getting closer.” I nodded. “Either way, he’ll be at the end of the aisle if Anita gets overwhelmed.” He nodded. “You know, I joked with Coyote, Bob and Payback that they would be flowers boys.” I laughed out. “I think Harvard, Yale, Fritz, and Omaha would be a better fit for that. I was gonna ask Coyote, Bob and Payback to be groomsmen.” I pursed my lips. “Who says we can’t have flower girls and flower boys?” He laughed. “We’ll work that out closer to time.” I nodded. “Okay, so I think that’s it. We will figure out food, flowers, photographers and everything when you come home.” He nodded. “But I was thinking we could do the engagement party not long after you get home. Do you have an idea of when you’ll be home?” He shook his head. “Just April. That’s all I know.” I nodded, my smile falling slightly. “Well then, we’ll just plan it for the first weekend in May to be on the safe side! Penny offered up the bar for anything we needed, and I may take her up on that for this party.”

I looked up, to see he had that dopey smile back on his face. “You’re so cute when you talk about our wedding.” A laugh escaped me, loud as I threw my head back. “You’re so cute with that dopey smile on your face.” He chuckled as Dahlia padded over, propping her legs in my lap so she could see the computer. “What is it? You hear daddy?” Her large nose almost covered the screen as she sniffed it, very confused as to why she could see and hear him but he wasn’t here. “Say that again.” I raised a brow. “What? Daddy?” A large grin grew on his face as mine heated up, the blush creeping up my neck. “Rooster, you’re nasty.” He shook his head with a laugh. “I mean, I was the one thinking about how when we have kids that’ll be my new title. You’re the one who made it dirty.” It’s like someone turned up the heat, I started feeling even hotter at his words. “Speaking of daddy.” I said as I reached behind the computer, grabbing the stick. I held it up, showing him the bold negative in the tiny window. “Wait, did you think you were pregnant?” I nodded. “I had the flu this past week and some of my symptoms could’ve been pregnancy related. Natasha was the one who suggested I take a test.” He sighed, leaning back. “I wanted to talk to you about it though. I think we should stop trying.” His face fell in surprise. “Not permanently. Just until after the wedding. I don’t wanna have to move our wedding around if I do get pregnant because I’m not walking down the aisle with a baby bump.” He nodded, still looking sad. “I also don’t think I’m ready to give up flying yet. My eye doctor told me I’d be lucky to fly after thirty-five anyway, and I want to do it as long as I can.” He bit his lip, looking down at his hands that were folded in front of him. “I forgot about your eyesight deteriorating.” I nodded. “I’m just not ready to give it up, Roo.”

“And I’d never ask you too. But if we did have kids, we would make it work. But I agree, maybe we should stop trying until after the wedding.” I nodded with a sigh as I propped my head on my hand. “So back to condoms, and I’m gonna get on birth control. I have a gynecologist appointment in a few weeks, so I’ll ask then.” He nodded. “Sounds good, pretty girl.” He looked just behind his computer sighing. “One minute.” I pursed my lips. “I love you, and I’ll see you on our next call. One more and then you’re home.” He nodded. “I know, I can’t wait.” I bit my lip. “You know when you come home, we’re gonna be in bed most of the time.” He nodded. “Oh, I know, trust me. It’s all I think about some days.” I smiled at him. “Bye, Roo. I love you.” He gave me a big smile, leaning back in his chair. “I love you too, pretty girl.” With that the call ended. A few tears slipped from my eyes as the call ended. “Fuck.” I muttered, wiping my eyes. Dahlia whined as she propped her head on my leg. “I know, baby. I miss him too.” I said as I pet her head and played with her ears. “Okay, now to call and confirm the venue.” The words alone made my excited. I paced the kitchen as I called Margaret who was ecstatic that we were booking for the thirty-first. As soon as I hung up, it settled in me. I was actually getting married to Bradley Bradshaw. The excitement was so much, I thought my chest would burst open. “I’M GETTING MARRIED!” I screamed as I danced around the kitchen. “I’M GONNA BE MRS. BRADHSAW! FUCK YEAH!”

That week I called mom, telling her we had a date and a venue, which she raved about. Almost more excited than me. I told the rest of the team the date, and they were excited as well. “We should grill out to celebrate.” Payback said as he stood from his seat. “We can do it at my place, tonight. I have all the food.” They nodded. “But we’re cooking. You shouldn’t cook for your own party.” I held my hands up in surrender. “I’m a-okay with that.” After we all finished our hops for the day, we went to the locker rooms, showering and changing into more comfortable clothes before heading out. “We’re all gonna drive back to our places and just ride in one car, so we’ll be behind you.” Payback said and I nodded. “Well, Coyote, Bob and Phoenix rode with me this morning.” Jake said just as I pulled the Bronco door open. “Well, if any of y’all wanna ride with me, you’re more than welcome too.” Phoenix immediately crawled into the backseat as Bob took passenger. “I see how it is.” Hangman huffed as I cranked the engine. “I love you, baby.” Phoenix said, blowing him a kiss. We pulled out and off base, taking in all the warm air that whipped around us. As we went down the road, Hangman passed us, blowing his horn as Coyote waved from the passenger seat.

“Guess they’re gonna wait in the driveway.” Bob chuckled. “Nah, we have a key. Rooster gave it to me just before he left for Texas. It’s on Hangman’s key ring.” I nodded. “They’ll probably let themselves inside, raid my cabinets for anything to cook.” The rest of the drive was spent with the radio filling the silence between us. Some seventies station Rooster keeps it on. As we pulled into the driveway, we saw Hangman and Coyote standing on the porch, staring at the front door. I furrowed my brows, getting out and grabbing my bag. “Figured you two would’ve been inside already.” As they turned around, I saw the door was open. “Did you open that?” Jake shook his head. “It was open when we got here.” My heart was racing. I probably didn’t shut it all the way, that had to be what happened. I stepped onto the porch reaching for the door handle when Hangman stopped me. “Hey, Magnolia, you don’t wanna go in there.” I furrowed my brows in concern. “It’s not pretty and the police are on their way.” My heart was thumping around in my chest. “Hangman I need to go in there. My dogs are-“ I stopped, realizing how quiet it was. “Oh my god.” I dropped my bag and shoved the door open. There was glass everywhere, pictures were smashed, the teddy bear Rooster sent me for Valentine’s Day was shredded and all over the floor. “Dahlia?!” My voice cracked, worried I was gonna walk up on my dog dead in the floor somewhere.

But I was relieved to hear a deep bark from the kitchen. I sprinted over, tossing open the laundry room door and there they both were, safe and sound. “Hi girls.” Tear rolled down my cheeks as I bent down, both rushing to me. “What happened? Huh?” Dahlia licked my face as Sadie nuzzled into my hand. “Okay, come on.” They both turned for the living room, but I caught their attention and sent them out back so they wouldn’t step on the glass. “They’re okay.” I said as I walked back through the living room. There was so much glass everywhere, it looks like all the windows in the house broke. “Who the hell would do this?” I asked to myself as I walked over to the mantle. The pictures of Goose and Carol, and pictures of my parents were fine. But any picture that involved Bradley and I were destroyed. “Magnolia.” I turned to where Phoenix had walked over to the piano. She was crouched on the floor, swiping some glass away. I walked over, careful not to step on any frames on the floor. “Dammit.” I muttered as more tears streamed down my face. I bent down next to her picking up the frame with my pregnancy test in it. The test was gone, and the frame was destroyed, the picture was scratched up from the glass. I wasn’t upset anymore, I was angry. I stood up, rushing up to the bedroom, seeing the same thing in there. Pictures were destroyed, the bedding was ripped apart, even a few of his Hawaiian shirts were ruined. I quickly rifled through my jewelry box, seeing that all the jewelry he gave me was still there.

I sighed, looking around the room. It was absolutely trashed and I had no idea who could’ve done this. I walked downstairs, running my hands through my hair. “This has to be tied to Aaron somehow.” Phoenix tossed her arm over my shoulder, pulling me close. “You think so?” I nodded quickly. “If any random stranger did this, that big ass tv would be gone, all my jewelry would be gone, hell they probably even would’ve taken the dogs! But all things relating to Bradley is destroyed. A few of his shirts are torn upstairs and someone shredded the bedspread. I’m just glad I managed to put away all the stuff his aunt brought over the weekend. If it was laying out, who knows what they would’ve done if they found that stuff.” I heard a car pull up and groaned. “Is that the cops?” Jake nodded as he walked outside. “What did she bring?” Bob asked, using his foot to sweep some glass away from the door. “Mostly stuff of his and his parents. His mom’s wedding dress was in there.” I heard a low whistle and turned to see the same two officers that showed up the night I saw someone sneaking around. “Miss Motley.” They nodded at me, looking around. “So, what happened here?” It was obvious but I knew it was a question they had to ask. “We showed up and the door was open, we peeked inside and saw the place was trashed.” Jake said as the officers wrote it down. “I came home and walked in and saw everything, I’ve walked the house and our bedroom is trashed as well.” They nodded. “If you guys can wait outside, we’re going to do our own walk through.” We all nodded, walking outside as they went around the house.

“Oh my god.” I groaned as I stood in the front yard. “I can’t believe this.” It felt like one thing after another. “I’m just trying to figure out who could’ve done this for Aaron if it was him.” I shrugged. “He has so many connections, and he’s in a federal prison, so he’s probably got some free reign. I’m sure he’s gotten a hold of someone.” Jake nodded. “It’s just so violating. This creep went through the house finding anything to do with Bradley and I, and destroyed it.” I sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. Bob came over, hugging me tightly. “You think they took that pregnancy test?” Phoenix asked and I shrugged as I leaned back on Bob. “I don’t know. What would they want with an old positive pregnancy test?” Just as I said that the two officers came out, a manila envelope in hand. “Okay, we haven’t found any clear evidence of who did this. We have a crime scene unit coming in to dust for fingerprints and things like that. But we did find this, it was under one of the pillows on your bed.” He handed me the envelope, and I popped it open. I felt sick to my stomach at what I pulled out. Black and white photos of me leaving the house, out at the hard deck. Rooster in the Bronco, even of him pulling the airstream. There were a few of us through the windows, one of him carrying me inside after the Halloween party. This guy has been watching us for months, and that scared me.

“This person seems to have been watching you for months.” Jake snatched the stack of photos, flipping through them, his face tensing more and more with each photo. “Once the CSI team gets in here, they will take a while to go through everything. We are going to go around and ask your neighbors if they saw anything, once the team is done then we will let you back in.” I nodded. “And what about after? She has some creep stalking her and you’re just going to leave her here all alone?” Jake snapped. “We will have an unmarked patrol car parked out front of her house for a few nights, see if we see anything and we will be making rounds through here during the day.” The officer nodded. “Damn right you will.” “Okay, you’re walking away.” Phoenix said, taking his hand and pulling him over to his truck. “Now do you believe me when I say someone has been creeping around my house?” I asked. “I'm sorry. What?” I squeezed my eyes shut at Jake's voice. “Yes and we'll do our best to catch this guy.” I nodded. “Look, my suggestion would be to go and get some food. We’re gonna be here a while.” I agreed and gave the officer my number before turning and getting in the cars as Payback and Omaha drive up. “Change of plans, we’re going out to dinner.” Payback nodded before I turned. “As soon as we get to the restaurant you’re spilling everything.” Jake snapped before opening the jeep door for me. I just nodded, not wanting to argue. There was a fire in his eyes that almost scared me. I had never seen him this angry and I never want to again. I got in, Bob joining me and we took off for a restaurant. We arrived at some Mexican place that smelled divine and that's when I realized how hungry I really was. Once we got inside and sat down, that’s when the grilling started.

“Does Rooster know someone’s been sneaking around the house?” Hangman’s questions triggered everyone else’s questions. ‘What?’ ‘When did this happen?’ ‘Should someone stay with you?’ I was grateful for their concern but I didn’t want everyone worrying about me. “No he doesn’t, and I would appreciate it if no one tells him. I’ll tell him when he comes home, cause I don’t want him worrying about me while he needs to be focusing on his mission.” I didn’t eat him to be distracted. Distractions cause accidents. “You’ve been keeping too many secrets from him.” He huffed and I scowled. “I’m telling him everything when he comes home.” Hangman crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You could’ve told him at Christmas.” I scoffed at the thought alone. “Yes, because on Christmas, after he proposed I was supposed to say, ‘Hey, by the way, your buddy Buck pinned me to the wall and kissed me and I got into a fight with him after.' No, we were enjoying our time together.” I snapped. “Look, just promise me you’ll tell him eventually and we will all make sure you’re taken care of till he comes home.” Everyone agreed, giving me soft smiles. “Okay. I’m gonna look into getting a security system as well.” Everyone agreed that was a good idea.

We had a good dinner, even had a few drinks before we went back to my house. They apparently found some finger prints but it would take time to run them through the database. Once they left I went back inside to the mess. It was now seven o'clock, and I knew I wouldn’t have this all cleaned in an hour. “Want our help?” Bob asked, leaning against the door frame. I just shook my head. “No, it’s not your responsibility.” He scoffed and I looked at him in surprise. That’s very out of character for Bob. “It’s not yours either. Someone forced their way in here, it’s not like you made this mess yourself. So let us help you.” I sighed but reluctantly agreed. Soon everyone came in. Halo helped me clean up my room while everyone else cleaned downstairs. “Whoever did this really hates Rooster.” She said as she yanked the bedding off. “Either that or they were paid to destroy everything relating to Rooster.” I said as I looked at his shirts. I wasn’t sure if I had the sowing skill to fix them. I just hoped and prayed they weren’t some of his dad’s. Halo helped me make the bed, making sure the new sheets and bedspread we put on was nice and clean. Once that was done we went downstairs to see everyone cleaning up the last of the mess. “I um, kept all the pieces of the bear he sent. I didn’t know if you’d wanna try and fix it.” I nodded. “I’m gonna try, I’m also gonna attempt to sow some of his shirts back together. My mamaw taught me well but it’s been years since I’ve had to sow anything.” She nodded before everyone plopped down onto the couch. “It’s getting late, I’m sure y’all wanna go home and get in bed.” Everyone just shook their heads. “We’re not leaving until that officer shows up.” Fanboy said and I nodded, opting to sit between Coyote and Phoenix.

I held the shredded bear in my hands, realizing I couldn’t tell what pieces attach to which. Tears sprung to my eyes as I stared at it. Phoenix ran her hand through my hair, leaning her head on my shoulder. “Let it out, Magnolia.” Her words were like an earthquake causing a dam to break. Sobs racked my body as my cheeks got soaked with salty tears. Coyote pulled me down to his shoulder as Natasha adjusted herself. Her arms wrapping around my torso and her head on my chest as Javy held me close. “Why me? I just want to live my life and people keep messing it up!” I sobbed. Javy shushed me as Natasha squeezed me. “I know, I know and I’m sorry.” Her own tears covered doused my shirt as she cried with me. After about twenty minutes I had calmed down and the officer showed up. “I’m officer Watson. I will be parked just a few houses down.” He handed me a business card. “That has my direct number on it. If you hear anything, see anything you can call me, and I will come running.” I nodded. He seemed nice enough, but he also seemed young. “Thank you.” He walked back towards his car, and I turned back to everyone. “Well, now, we will leave you.” Fritz said as he stood, pulling me into a tight hug. “We’re all going to keep our phones on tonight. So, if you need us, you can call.” I nodded as he squeezed e one last time. Soon everyone went outside except Hangman and Phoenix. “Are you sure you’re gonna be, okay?” He asked and I nodded. “I still can’t believe they didn’t believe you.” I sighed and nodded.

“Well, I had a manic episode, and I was hallucinating from lack of sleep. I’m just glad they seem to now.” He nodded. “You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Phoenix asked, taking my hands in hers. “I’ll be fine. If I need you, I’ll call.” She nodded, hugging me tightly before stepping outside. “We’re a phone call away.” Hangman said before hugging me as well. Once they left, and I shut and locked the doors, I noticed how dark and eerie the house could be. I let the dogs out one more time before double checking that all the doors and windows were locked. Once I did, we went upstairs and got ready for bed. As I laid there, staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but think how this creep touched my bed, how he destroyed it simply because Rooster and I share it. When I realized I wasn’t gonna sleep much that night, I grabbed my phone, pulling up my email. Quickly I typed out a very short email to Rooster. ‘I love you, and I can’t wait for you to be home.’ Once I sent it, I felt a little better, but not enough to make me sleep. “You’ll let me know if you hear anything, right Dahls?” She just huffed as I ran my fingers down her spine. “Atta girl.” With that, I laid there, hoping for sleep, knowing it may not come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @mak-32 @rosiahills22 @dhwanishah09

[velvetsands]

2023: year of ticking things off and getting dreams realised

- won an inaugural new investigator award named after the man who actually inspired me to pursue immunology

- scored a patent approval for my research

- went to amsterdam with my lab, absolutely hated the city but the conference was great

- travelled to a village in belgium and hung with my ancestral relatives, visited my grandfather’s childhood home and had everyone come from near and far for a dinner in my honour. so many tears shed, it has been a childhood dream of mine

- experienced an incredible safari through the serengeti (#celinedion), meet/dance with a maasai tribe, and managed to climb the world’s tallest freestanding mountain followed a couple days in zanzibar

- writing my thesis was surprisingly easy (~4mos) with no corruptions or referencing errors, super proud of my work and my team

- finally my turn to be a conference wag in hong kong, what a superb country(!!!!) so much to do, nightlife, restaurants and the jockey club went above and beyond for everything

- finished my phd thesis with some incredible final results and scored a dean’s award (top 10%) v cool

- moved from sydney to adelaide to be with my love which was tough but ever so rewarding, we did long-distance for 18mos so it was high time

- i started going to the gym almost daily, i tend to my herb garden (a dream), bake and hang out with cats

- currently wfh/a sahg writing my manuscript which is apparently fantastic but i almost cannot bear to look at it anymore

- i was so sad to leave sydney but slow living is truly worth the hype

- we finally scored some funding for a clinical trial after years and yeaaaaaaars of begging so watch this space

- started taking my skincare and haircare more seriously and it has paid off laaaawwwddd

- i feel so adult now and i do soooo many adult things but hey look, i’m 30 in a few weeks so i need to stop thinking i’m still 23 lol

- tall poppy syndrome is a vvvvvv real thing

2024:

- we’re moving to saudi arabia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe

- the compound is gorgeous and it will be a wonderful adventure

- actually makes me sad as i adore all of my partner’s colleagues

- but first i have my best friend’s wedding and i have to present to a STADIUM full of people in san diego

- oh and turn 30! yay!

- now that i don’t have to read journal papers anymore, i have the time to read non-fiction and would like to keep that up

- publish my manuscript publish publish publish

- leaning into the fact that happiness is only a state briefly entered into, it is not a constant state of being

- but that doesn’t mean life has to be monotonous either, just roll with the punches

- drink less alcohol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- work on correct gym form!!!!!!!!!!

- look inwards for validation first

- be sure to keep in contact with friends, no matter how seemingly draining it is and how much you put it off, you always feel better after it so just make the call and or return the text

- genuinely be compassionate to and understanding of yourself

- continue to cultivate my relationships (specifically with my partner) and ensure needs are being met both ways

- improve sleep hygiene as my next self-care item to tackle

[ariel-seagull-wings]

JANINE AND EGON'S WEDDING QUESTIONS (MOVIE, NOVELIZATION AND COMICS VERSE)

@spengnitzed @bixiebeet @professorlehnsherr-almashy @angelixgutz

Imagine what music they'd have? What food? Would it be outside? What kind of theme, if any, would they have?

Jazz and jewish folk music. The ceremony would be outside in the garden, while the dinner reception, with Ashkenazi jewish food from Poland, Russia and Ukraine and the dancing party would be inside the house of their friend, Ray. The theme would be woodlands and mycology. 

Who would they invite? 

Ray (who is Egon's best man and provider of the house where the wedding is celebrated), Winston, Peter, Dana, Egon's mother, brother, sister-in-law and baby nephew, Janine's parents, sister, grandmother and maternal uncles and cousins. 

What season is it? Day or night? What colors do people wear?

Autumn, evening till night, starting at 15:00 pm. While the decoration is green and brown, the guests are left free to choose the colors of their clothes.

Is it traditional or do they do something wild?

The ceremony follows traditional jewish marriage rituals, along with including a justice of peace to assist the civil legalization and documentation of the wedding. 

Did they write their own vows? Who is the priest/priestess/minister marrying you? Or is it a family member or other platonic F/O?

They do write their own vows, taking some inspiration from literature. Janine's family rabbi and a paid justice of peace marries her and Egon. 

Are they wearing suits? Dresses? Something else entirely?

Janine wears a tea-length dress with a lace top and puffy skirt.

Egon wears a black suit and bowtie. 

What is their cake like if they have one?

Is a cake decorated with candy mushrooms and sugar leafs, topped with two snails representing the couple. 

Do they throw the bouquet for someone to catch or do they pass out one flower to everyone so they let everyone know they are worthy of love?

Janine appears like she will throw one bouquet to one person, then surprises everyone when the flowers are untied and everybody catches a flower. 

Do they have a party afterwards? What music?

A dancing party with the music of Cleo Laine, Harry Belafonte, Ofra Haza and The Parvarim. 

What is their honeymoon like? Is it a stay at home one? Do they go somewhere exciting? How long is their trip?

A three week vacation to San Diego, California.

How many kids do they have? What are their names?

Three kids: Noemi, Tobin and Batya.

NICKNAME(S): Baby Smurf, Sugar Plum.

FACECLAIM: Violet Ramis (child), Jenny Slate (adult).

BIRTH: August 25th 1984.

ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo.

SEXUALITY: Bissexual.

GENDER: Female.

ORIGIN: Forest Hills, Queens, New York City.

NATIONALITY: US American.

CHARACTERISTICS:

+ Curious, inquisitive, creative, extroverted, with a fascination for gallows humor;

+ Loves colorful clothes, cartoons and comic books;

+ Has a strong temper and rarely disguises when she has either contempt or desire to kill someone she perceives as an enemy;

WEAPON OF CHOICE:

+ P.K.E Meter

+ Proton Pack

+ Ghost Trap

OTHER PERSONAL INFO: 

+ While she inherited the academic talent of her father, she has the more outgoing and bold approach to social interactions of her mother;

+ Considers the other Ghostbusters her uncles, with Ray and Winston being her favorites;

+ Is a huge fan of the Smurfs and Asterix comics and cartoons and a cosplayer;

+ Before deciding to pursue a career in STEM and Parapsychology, for a while she considered taking religious studies to become a rabbi. While she didn't went through with that, she still became and expert in Jewish Mythology and Folklore;

+ Besides being a Ghostbuster, Noemi also teaches about the paranormal at Columbia University.

NICKNAME(S): Bean Bunny.

FACECLAIM: Anton Yelchin (child and adult).

BIRTH: June 23th 1989.

ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer.

SEXUALITY: Asexual.

GENDER: Male.

ORIGIN: Forest Hills, Queens, New York City.

NATIONALITY: US American.

CHARACTERISTICS:

+ Calm, caring, empathetic, studious, who enjoys safety and tranquility;

+ Loves cooking, gardening and drawing;

+ Is anxious and gets stuck in a place when frightened;

WEAPON OF CHOICE:

+ P.K.E Meter

+ Ghost Trap

OTHER PERSONAL INFO:

+ Has the more quiet temperament of his father, and the belief in intuition from his mother, wich is formative of his view of science mainly as an instrument of nurturing;

+ Collects mold, spores and fungus, and also enjoys botanics, specially harvesting the mushrooms, fruits and vegetables to use in dishes he cooks for his friends and family;

+ Loves the Pogo comic strips, Fraggle Rock and the Dave the Gnome cartoon;

+ Studies to become a Landscape Architect, Environmental Engineer and Manager;

+ When reluctantly involved in Ghostbusting by his older sister, he only uses the P.K.E Meter and the Ghost Trap, seeing these instruments as something to try to communicate with the ghosts and help them get shelter and defend humans from harm, but he doesn’t handle the Proton Pack because is heavy and because he sees it as a intimidating gun.

NICKNAME(S): Ladybug.

FACECLAIM: Flora Guiet (child), Alexandra Socha (adult).

BIRTH: September 29th 1991.

ZODIAC SIGN: Libra.

SEXUALITY: Biromantic and demisexual.

GENDER: Female.

ORIGIN: Forest Hills, Queens, New York City.

NATIONALITY: US American.

CHARACTERISTICS: 

+ Likes to keep things well organized to facilitate the work and everyday life of other people;

+ Physically agile;

+ In a conversation, can see connections between topics that the other person listening her would never imagine being related;

WEAPON OF CHOICE:

+Walkie-talkie

+Proton Pack

+Ghost Trap

+ Ecto Goggles

OTHER PERSONAL INFO: 

+ Inherited her mother’s taste for racquetball, and also plays tennis;

+ Loves RPG, be they tabletop or video games, eventually getting a Masters Degree in Game Theory and Game Design;

+ Is fascinated with prehistoric animals, studying History, Biology, Zoology, Archeology and Paleontology, the area where she intends to become a Doctor;

+ Also enjoys photography;

+ Is a mix between a Explorer Historian, whose greatest pleasure is delving into the new world that they are exploring in search of knowledge as the greatest reward, and a Socializer Strategist, happy to collaborate in order to achieve bigger and better things than she could on her own, while having no problems assuming leadership if it means keeping the group safe and sound when the situation becomes especially dangerous.

Where do they live?

In an old two storey boarding house in Forest Hills, Queens, chosen because it looked similar to a drawing that Janine made in her childhood of her dream house, which should be old and covered with vines like the house that served as Madeline's boarding school. 

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[a-lbeit]

2022: a year in review

i never ended up writing one of these for 2021, so maybe i’ll throw some stuff from there in here, too

a brief summary of 2021--benny, soaring highs and a rock-bottom low, exercise, school, getting reacquainted with the working world and working more than ever before, trying to become more attuned to adulthood, reuniting with old friends, car ownership, and uncertainty

alright, now onto 2022. i would like to write more about 2021, and i wish i had done so earlier like i should have, but, as we all know, life just strikes you sometimes. those memories and experiences, or at least the essences of them, will be there for me to reminisce on and reference. 

rang in the new year at benny’s house, drunk with coworkers and benny’s friends. it was messy, but hey, a new year’s kiss is always something to smile about when you look back on it. 

got boosted

had a visit from my parents. the first time i’d seen them in over 2 years--since i had broken my ankle and gone back to charleston for a few weeks. it was such a perfect week, one that i will forever cherish. they took the train out here, across the country like they’d talked about doing for so long. we went to riverside, to the house my father spent several childhood years in. he hadn’t seen it since then, i don’t think. we went up mt. rubidoux, something he’d always wanted to do. i took them to disneyland, of course, with benny, who they also finally had a chance to meet. we rode the holiday version of it’s a small world, which so fortuitously had a longer stint at the resort than usual because it had opened late because of a flooded mechanics room or something. took them to the top of the world and to urth caffe and the huntington library. i cried when they left. 

had to get tested weekly for covid at work for a while; it was kind of fun to get bumped to take it on the clock. things were looking kinda bad again with covid for a while there, and i got slightly worried that the park would close again. 

had a visit from lauren and david. we all stayed in an airbnb together and i showed them around socal. we went to san diego, disney (of course), la, huntington gardens. benny’s and my first anniversary happened somewhere in there. it was sunny and beautiful and lauren got a tattoo :)

stayed at a cabin in wrightwood for valentine’s day with benny. it was relaxing, sexy, and we even got just enough snow for it to be romantic but not a burden. we played pool, cooked, walked, and shopped around with little to no worries for a few days. on the way back, we went to the mcdonald’s museum in san bernardino.

went to the parks with friends. it’s nice to be able to do that stuff again--sometimes i think about how “normal” our lives have become again in the wake of covid and i realize i forget how easily things can change in our puny little lives

went to a wedding expo with mindy. i enjoyed it, but i think more and more about how i don’t want a wedding celebration. 

disney had a little cast member event for the (then) upcoming toontown renovation before it closed for the next year. it was cute to be a part of that. 

gas prices went up, up, up, and we all felt it

had a little date night with benny at this really cool bar in huntington. i wish we had time (read: i wish i put in more effort to have more time and energy) to do more of that

received melissa and glenn’s wedding announcement. i was nervous to be her maid of honor but so excited

saw so many snails

did our little semiannual vegas trip. it’s always nice to hang with benny’s best friend and see the hoover dam and just have fun. we played twilight zone mini golf, went to a cirque show (thanks to miguel’s roommate), got dutch bros, swam in lake mead. the whole bit. benny and i even got matching temporary tats. 

made the difficult decision to remove my eyebrow piercing. it had migrated a lot and my management team had said a couple things to my leads about the prominence of the plastic retainer. maybe some day i’ll pierce it again. i miss it sometimes, but i knew it was time. it didn’t look good anymore after constantly having to switch out the jewelry. 

had a roommate reunion at disney with rozi, taleeah, and daisy. it was nice. i miss living with them. 

parallel parked my heart out. i can fit almost anywhere. 

helped john krasinski and emily blunt at autopia :)

went to the parks with mindy for her birthday. i’m so grateful to have her in my life, to have someone so different yet similar to me. 

appreciated and loved fred more and more. he deserves the blue nametag more than anyone. 

went to a couple disney cast member softball games. it’s fun to watch your coworkers play.

somewhere in between all this, i interviewed (for the second time) to become a trainer at autopia, and my manager told me yes--i was very wary and jaded when he told me, since he told me no last time without having that clear of a reason. but he congratulated me and i was grateful that he saw potential in me.

had a cute 4am shift. we had to help test the speed of the cars. it was beautiful, and fred bought us breakfast. a national treasure. 

i needed the first two weeks in june off, and management granted me a personal leave. sometimes, i really do appreciate them. 

finally, the day came. i flew back to charleston for the first time since my broke ass ankle to celebrate melissa and glenn. and i took benny along for the ride. we flew in, reunited with my parents, got some finishing touches for the bachelorette party (freaking out in the meantime). the other bridesmaids and i took melissa to brunch, a lil gift exchange, and a sunset cruise piloted (is that the right word?) by her favorite high school teacher. it was nice, lowkey day. and then the rehearsal dinner was the next day and the wedding the next. melissa looked so beautiful (as she always does) and the wedding was perfect. the ceremony took place outside and it started to rain beforehand, so they ended up pushing it back an hour and having a cocktail hour first. everything worked out and the lighting was perfect. i loved seeing melissa and glenn’s first dance and her dance with her parents. and i was so grateful to her to include me in the day. she’s my oldest friend and i love her so much. 

in the couple days after the wedding, i hung with my parents and lauren and david. we did a ghost tour and, most importantly, went to waffle house. 

immediately after, benny and i flew to denver. somehow for the past 2 years, i had been taking classes and completing the requirements for my master’s degree, and i was sure as hell gonna walk in my graduation. we took a night flight and arrived in denver late; we stayed overnight in the airport to save some money. it surprisingly wasn’t too bad, except for waking up at one point to a man on the other side of the bench shaking around. but it was okay. we left in the morning and went to the university of denver campus so i could take a covid test, then got some food from a turkish restaurant nearby while we waited to check in to our airbnb. when the time finally came and we got to our room, i was so happy to not have to lug around my heavy suitcase anymore. we showered and headed downtown to walk around and get some dinner at a place a coworker of ours had recommended. he recommended a lot of stuff since he used to live in the area, but i think that’s the only one we ended up taking.

i also got a phone call that day from our scheduler asking me about scheduling my training to be a trainer, since the days went against my availability. i was nervous to see it on my next schedule, but excited to have it finally happen.

on our walk around, we went to voodoo doughnuts and ordered one each, but the worker gave us double. it’s always an exciting treat to get more than you pay for. 

spent the next day exploring denver. we toured the capitol (and got a beautiful view of the rockies from the balcony of the dome), explored cute shops, and i felt pretty dead at a couple points. i fell asleep on a bench for a minute, but it was all right. we ended at a foresty bar my friend had recommended and played foosball.

the next day, i officially ‘graduated.’ there was cake at the reception before the actual ceremony, and then we sat through 3 hours of names being called before it was finally time for my section. benny is such patient man. i met up with him after it finally ended (he sat in the audience; i sat with the other graduates), and he had gotten me a lei and a teddy bear wearing a cap and gown. we got dinner at an italian place my friend had recommended,

the next day was our last in denver. we explored some more, including checking out a zine library and getting pics in a big tire. we ended the day with takeout in the park along the river next to the huge REI. 

we rented a car and headed to boulder for a couple days. on the way, we stopped at a wildlife refuge and almost got caught in a lightning storm. everything was great until we tried to arrive at our airbnb up a dark, windy road quite late (around 10pm or so, maybe), only to find a dark house. we rang the bell a couple times and eventually, a shirtless man answered and said there was no airbnb here. i would have panicked if we didn’t have a car that we could have slept in. however, we ended up heading back into town and spent $200 on a hotel. we sure as hell stuffed ourselves at the free breakfast the next day and booked a new airbnb for the rest of the time. airbnb was incredibly helpful and refunded us as well as gave us some credit for the next airbnb. it was an ordeal, but it was okay.

we didn’t let that mishap affect us too much. we had things to do. after we got everything situated, we headed up to estes park to take the aerial tram as well as visit the stanley. it was a beautiful day, in the end. we even took that long road in rocky mountain national park that goes all the way to the top to see the sunset and the snow on the ground. and when we arrived at our new airbnb, everything was just as described, and they even had 2 dogs that almost made me become a dog person--they were fluffy, well-groomed, and quiet. 

we went back into the national park the next day for a horseback ride and some hiking. i got very sniffly after the ride (i guess i’m a bit allergic to horses) and napped for a bit in the car. we did a beautiful and uncrowded hike to one of the alpine lakes. 

the next day was our flight home, but we had the morning still. we said goodbye to the dogs and went to red rocks before going to the airport. our flight ended up getting delayed, so i asked for meal vouchers. again, we stuffed ourselves. 

went back to work. a few days later was benny’s birthday. at the time, my friend rozi was working at this company that’s sort of a blend of airbnb and a hotel, and she majorly hooked it up and got us a 3-night stay at this beautiful property in laguna for free. i surprised benny, although i had to train people at work during a couple of the days. that place was low-key and luxurious. 

got signed off as a trainer, although i sucked at time management at first. but we all do.

the day i had my star tours refresh class, i did practically nothing all day at work. it was glorious

i was so tan in the summer. i’m sure i’ll get there again this summer (while still lathering on sunscreen, of course)

a few days before my birthday, benny got covid. i spent the days around it getting free food; on my birthday, i took a solo trip to the san diego area and laid on the beach. i was a bit lonely, but i’m also in love with spending time with myself. i’ve always known how introverted and independent i am, but i’ve really realized over the past year that i need to spend significant amounts of time in my life by myself. 

got retrained at nemo a little while after benny did. they had a photo session for us while we were still cycling before the ride officially reopened, and we got really cute pictures that i’ll always treasure. once it reopened, though, we all quickly realized that if you had nemo knowledge, you were stuck at nemo. i was mad that my fellow trainers were getting training shifts and i was stuck. 

put up shelves in my bedroom lmao 

went to natalie’s baby shower. i was scared but also so happy for her. she was ready. and the shower was beautiful

had a much-needed day with rozi--we got our cars washed (for free, of course), had coffee and acai at our old place, and ended up at disneyland. it had been too long. 

got a tour of walt’s apartment

became full-time soon after i turned 26. thank god--i now needed health insurance.

saw shakey graves with benny--i miss the time in my life where i was obsessed with him and live music. i think i’ve said this before, but i’ve kind of outgrown concerts. it was a time in my life i’ll always treasure, though. it makes me miss college and especially dc--taking the metro to the 9:30 club and the anthem.

started my first solo training set

benny and i took a cruise! it a short 4-night, 3-day cruise, and it was perfect. we stuffed our fucking faces, went swimming at the beach in catalina, took a taxi in mexico and got free alcohol, and explored the ship. i know cruises are so awful for the environment (the irony of graduating just about 2 months prior with a master’s in environmental policy and management, i know), but goddamn, they’re so much fun and honestly quite cheap if you do it right. the morning of debarkation, though, i got a text (once we regained service) from my mom asking me to call her. i figured i would do it after we got off the ship, but then she ended up calling me (she had actually sent the message the previous evening) during breakfast to tell me my grandmother had died. i was so so grateful that i’d had the opportunity to see her one last time back in june when benny and i went to charleston for melissa’s wedding. otherwise, i probably wouldn’t have seen her since 2019 when my ankle was broken. i couldn’t even imagine what my father was feeling. he had found her gasping for air after he brought dinner to her apartment for her. she didn’t make it through the night. 

the next day, went right back into finishing my first solo training set. my stomach hurt, i guess from the food and the news. one of my trainees, a transfer from custodial, confided in me that she wanted to stop training and go back to custodial. we talked to management and made that happen for her. it felt nice to be able to support her during all of it.

a killer heat wave made work laughably awful--but that’s climate change for ya, i guess

went to the dentist for the first time in about 3 years. they removed my ‘old-school’ metal retainers (which, admittedly, the top one had broken) and got me set up for new plastic ones to wear overnight. no cavities! 

went to the walt disney studios in burbank and ripley’s believe it or not on hollywood blvd, which my parents had gotten me tickets for for my birthday. i love doing stuff like that, even if it’s touristy. 

benny and i went to shaqtoberfest. it was actually a lot of fun LMAO

funeral arrangements were sort of up in the air for a while. it ended up happening in october, although her death was in late august. i went back to charleston for it. my father’s resilience floors me. i look up to him so much. my mother and i went to my parents’ safety deposit box to pick out jewelry to wear to the funeral. i wore my grandmother’s brooch and ring. it was a sad occasion, but it was nice to be reunited with some family i hadn’t seen since before covid. i miss my family and especially my parents. i realized i would like to make an effort to visit them more frequently. i love spending time with them as adults. 

after my return, benny and i did some halloweeny stuff. i don’t like the holiday that much, but i love going to all the neighborhood festivals and block parties and events. 

finally used my flight credit from when rozi, britt, and i were supposed to visit blake in tennessee back in 2020. i went to austin, my first time in texas. mindy’s parents live outside of austin, and she actually flew there a day after me--she had to pick up her mom’s wedding dress, and it was great timing. i stayed in an airbnb for a night and explored the city (and the college campus--i got free tacos and really missed the campus experience) on my own, and then met up with her and her family the next day. they graciously let me stay there for a few days. her family is so relaxed, and i appreciated how easy it was to be with them. i would like to return to austin by myself or with benny sometime, though. 

took a ‘cast preview’ holiday tour of disneyland. we got soaked in the rain, but still had so much fun. i love the holiday season, and maybe one day i’ll stop letting myself be so consumed by work around that time and actually be able to enjoy everything.

learned the monorail, something i had been trying to do for close to a year. 

surprised benny with a trip up to the bay. i don’t know why--i had just been wanting to take a weekend trip since like april to visit pinnacles national park. i told him to make sure to request the days off, and when the time came, we left right after work. we drove up the 5 and finally, around 9:30 or 10pm, we pulled into the campground. he’d had a hunch this was what i was surprising him with. we slept in the car and freezed our asses off. we did a hike (featuring a couple caves!) the next day and went to an airbnb in san jose. we explored muir woods (i finally saw a banana slug!), went over the golden gate, of course, and tried to get dinner in the city--but i couldn’t find parking and the hills of sf overwhelmed me while driving, so we ended up just leaving. but we did go to the winchester mystery house and santa cruz, where we saw bunches of seals (sea lions? i don’t know). on the way home, we took highway 1 and passed monterey, big sur, and miles of coastal beauty. 

did another every-once-in-a-while vegas weekend trip to see the holiday decorations at the bellagio and visit his friend. i decided i don’t like his friend’s roommate lmao, but we still had a good time. we even got a hike in with some snow. 

saw beautiful holiday lights with benny’s mom and sister. every once in a while, i can dig some family time. 

stayed busy with work. between disney and target during the holiday season, i go weeks without a day off. but it’s all right. i do it to myself. and i love my coworkers. 

the leads and trainers got a blanket from our management team, which was actually so fucking nice 

i interviewed to be a lead--my manager asked me if i had been talking to the cores and then why i wanted to be a lead. then he stopped the interview and told me he’d already previously decided on me, that this ‘interview’ was essentially a formality. i was surprised and, i have to admit, felt really proud. he said to keep it a secret, though, so i did, only telling benny and my favorite lead. 

in the light rain on new year’s eve, benny and i went to the ronald reagan presidential library. what a cool place--yeah, reagan sucks, but it’s still a beautiful museum. and his entire air force one is in there--what an experience to get to walk through it. i love learning about all that stuff. in the evening, benny had a small party--it was still raining, so there wasn’t much of a turnout. it wasn’t the best night, especially since it’s my favorite holiday. but there’s always the next one. 

had some trips to knotts. for a while, i didn’t think i would want to renew my annual pass, but it’s just so cheap that it’s worth it even if you only go a dozen times a year. 

continued to work at target every now and again. they do be giving us free food, i’ll give em that. maybe i’ll quit before the end of 2023. we’ll see. 

drove so much. i love my prius and am so grateful for its reliability. even though traffic sucks, it’s nice to get to spend that time with myself. i still take the bus sometimes, though.

started actively saving money. i still owe student loans, but it seems to be forever on pause, so i just pay a bit here and there. i opened a high-yield savings account and really try to contribute to it often. 

was sort of sad a lot of the time. it’s just hard to be happy with your life when you’re in an hourly position and so many of your peers have ‘career’ jobs and seem so well-established--but i know that everyone has different paths and that i will be okay. but everyone gets in their own head. i also have to admit that i really hate that benny still lives with his family and had such a different upbringing than me. i hate admitting it, but it’s the truth. it sometimes makes it so hard to see a future together where we are established (by that, i mean with steady jobs and a place to ourselves), when we just don’t have good foundations to build on yet, despite being in our mid-20s. it challenges me and my thinking, but i’m also grateful for it. i don’t want to always be comfortable in life--but goddamn is it difficult sometimes. i feel that the relationship is so juvenile in terms of our stage in life. we will get there, though. and benny is miles ahead of me in so many facets of emotional intelligence. 

loved lana del rey, i have to admit

song of the year: “head full of doubt/road full of promise,” the avett brothers. it makes my heart heavy with a load of both fear and perseverance--‘decide what to be and go be it’ is such a scary, yet beautiful phrase. the entire song takes me aback with how much i can relate it to my own struggles (or whatever). 

2022 really saw the country come out of the pandemic, if you can even separate the times in that way. i find myself getting more removed from current events, and i hate myself for it. i don’t feel as aware as i used to be during college. i just go through the days at work, try to stay healthy, and spend time with friends and benny. i miss how i used to keep up with the world. maybe someday, i’ll start again. for now, i just try to be all right with my own life. i suppose you have to be okay with yourself, primarily, right? after all, it’s your own thoughts and body that you are with the most. it may be selfish, but it’s unavoidable. i would like to be happy with my own life, and i think i will eventually. i’m getting there. and the days continue to pass lazily, yet quickly. “i know pain is as natural as the rain; i just thought it didn’t rain in california.” 

[quiet-mindretreat]

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San Diego, known for its stunning coastline and vibrant culture, is a perfect destination for couples seeking a romantic escape. Whether you’re planning a wedding proposal, a meditation retreat, or simply want to unwind with your partner, San Diego offers a range of romantic resorts and getaways that cater to your every desire. Discover the ideal spots that combine luxury, relaxation, and breathtaking views, creating unforgettable memories.

San Diego Romantic Resorts

When it comes to San Diego romantic resorts, you are spoilt for choice. From oceanfront hotels to serene mountain retreats, each venue provides an intimate atmosphere ideal for couples. These resorts often feature private balconies, cozy fire pits, and spa services, ensuring you can spend quality time together in style.

Top Picks:

The Lodge at Torrey Pines: Nestled near the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean, this resort features luxurious accommodations and a world-class spa. It’s an ideal place for couples looking to enjoy nature’s beauty while indulging in pampering treatments.

Hotel del Coronado: A historic beachfront hotel with a Victorian charm, it offers breathtaking views and romantic dining options, perfect for a sunset dinner.

Best Romantic Getaways in Southern California

For couples seeking the best romantic getaways in Southern California, San Diego stands out with its mild climate, picturesque scenery, and numerous attractions. Whether you want to stroll hand-in-hand along the beach or enjoy a cozy evening by the fire, this city has everything you need to make your getaway special.

Activities to Enjoy:

Sunset Cliffs Natural Park: Take a scenic walk or have a picnic while watching the sun dip below the horizon, creating a magical atmosphere.

Balboa Park: Explore the beautiful gardens and museums, or enjoy a couple's massage at one of the nearby wellness spas.

Wellness Hotels with Mountain View California

San Diego is not just about the beach; it also boasts wellness hotels with stunning mountain views. These resorts offer the perfect backdrop for relaxation and rejuvenation, making them an ideal choice for couples looking to unwind.

Highlighted Hotels:

The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe: This luxurious retreat is set amidst the rolling hills of San Diego’s North County, offering exquisite accommodations and a full-service spa.

Carmel Mountain Ranch: Nestled in the hills, it provides a serene environment for couples to reconnect, complete with wellness amenities.

San Diego Wedding Proposal

If you're planning a San Diego wedding proposal, the city offers numerous romantic settings to pop the question. From sunset beach picnics to intimate dinners at upscale restaurants, you can create a memorable experience for your partner.

Proposal Ideas:

Sunset Cliffs: Choose this picturesque spot for a breathtaking proposal during golden hour.

Private Yacht Cruise: Rent a yacht for an unforgettable sunset proposal on the water.

Meditation Retreat San Diego

For couples seeking tranquility, a meditation retreat in San Diego can provide the perfect escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. These retreats offer guided meditation, yoga, and wellness workshops, allowing couples to deepen their connection and find inner peace together.

Recommended Retreats:

Spirit Rock Meditation Center: Known for its serene environment and experienced instructors, it provides various programs focused on mindfulness and meditation.

The Art of Living Retreat Center: Offering a range of workshops and retreats that promote mental well-being and relaxation.

Silent Retreat San Diego

Experience profound connection and relaxation at a silent retreat in San Diego. These retreats allow couples to disconnect from the outside world and focus on their relationship and personal growth.

Benefits of Silent Retreats:

Enhance communication and understanding without distractions.

Engage in mindfulness practices together, fostering deeper emotional connections.

San Diego Wedding Proposal Packages

Many San Diego resorts offer wedding proposal packages that can help you plan the perfect surprise for your partner. These packages often include romantic dinners, spa treatments, and special touches to make your proposal unforgettable.

Example Package Features:

Candlelit dinner for two at a fine dining restaurant.

In-room champagne and flower arrangements to set the mood.

Romantic Couples Getaway San Diego

Escape to romantic couples getaway spots in San Diego where you can relax and reconnect. Enjoy local attractions, pamper yourselves at luxury spas, or explore the vibrant culinary scene.

Local Attractions:

La Jolla Cove: Perfect for kayaking, snorkeling, or simply enjoying a day at the beach.

Gaslamp Quarter: Explore unique shops, dining, and nightlife in this historic district.

Conclusion

San Diego is a treasure trove of romantic experiences waiting to be discovered. From luxurious resorts with mountain views to intimate meditation retreats, you and your partner can find the perfect setting to unwind and strengthen your bond. Whether it’s a wedding proposal, a wellness escape, or a simple romantic getaway, San Diego offers everything you need for an unforgettable experience. Make your next romantic trip memorable with the serene charm and breathtaking beauty of this Southern California paradise.

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WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping

WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping by DataScrapingServices.com. In today's competitive wedding industry, staying ahead of the curve means having access to the most current and comprehensive data. WeddingWire, a leading platform for wedding venues and services, is a goldmine of information. However, manually collecting and organizing this data can be a daunting and time-consuming task. That's where DataScrapingServices.com steps in. Our WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping service is designed to help wedding planners, event coordinators, and marketing professionals efficiently gather detailed venue information, ensuring they have the insights needed to make informed decisions and enhance their business strategies.

List of Data Fields

Our WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping service extracts a wide range of data fields to provide you with a complete and actionable dataset.

- Venue Name: The official name of the wedding venue.

- Location: Detailed address information, including city, state, and ZIP code.

- Contact Information: Phone numbers, email addresses, and website URLs.

- Venue Type: Categorization of the venue (e.g., barn, hotel, garden).

- Capacity: Maximum guest capacity for the venue.

- Pricing: Detailed pricing information and packages.

- Amenities: List of amenities and services offered by the venue.

- Photos: Images of the venue.

- Reviews: Customer reviews and ratings.

- Availability: Information on the availability and booking calendar.

Benefits of WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping

Utilizing our WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping service offers numerous benefits:

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4. Enhanced Marketing: Utilize the data to create targeted marketing campaigns, highlighting specific venue features and advantages to attract potential clients.

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Conclusion

In the dynamic and competitive wedding industry, having access to detailed and up-to-date venue information is crucial. DataScrapingServices.com's WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping service provides an efficient and reliable solution to gather comprehensive data, helping you streamline your operations, improve client satisfaction, and stay ahead of the competition. Whether you are a wedding planner, event coordinator, or marketing professional, our service is designed to meet your data needs and enhance your business strategies. Contact DataScrapingServices.com today to learn more about how our WeddingWire Wedding Venues Scraping service can benefit your business and help you achieve greater success.

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Top Choices for a San Diego Wedding Proposal, Resort and Spa Packages, and Spa Hotels in California – Quiet Mind Retreat

Feeling tired physically and mentally? Then you need complete mind, body, spirit rejuvenation. One of the best ways to do that is to re-connect with nature and take a break from technology. Quiet Mind Retreat is a great place to unwind and pamper yourselves. This beautiful Southern California destination is located conveniently between San Diego and Los Angeles, by a lakeside near the quintessential town Julian.

This lake view romantic hotel in California offers the perfect backdrop for a wedding proposal. Forget the hustle bustle of the city. Propose your beau amidst pristine natural beauty.

San Deigo romantic resorts

Quiet Mind Retreat has a nurturing and tranquil environment. This can be appealing to couples who wish to spend some quality moments together. The place also offers wellness packages designed for couples. For example, you can meditate together, take a spa and massage session together, do yoga, sound baths, or rekindle your love in the cozy rooms with warm baths. No wonder this is one of the most popular San Diego romantic resorts in South California. 

San Diego resort and spa packages

Quiet Mind Retreat is renowned for its wellness programs. They have a team of wellness therapists who help people energize themselves, heal, and rejuvenate. This Buddhist retreat in California merge Western and Eastern healing philosophies and provide customized healing treatments that cater to an individual’s unique health and rejuvenation needs.

Here are a few exciting activities you can indulge in when you take one of the San Diego resort and spa packages:

Gym:  Access the center’s technology-laced gym round the clock.

Spiritual library: Read books on mindfulness, spirituality, and other inspiring literature.

Spa and massages: One of the benefits of staying in spa hotels in southern California is that you can pamper yourselves with rejuvenating spas and massages.

Yoga room: It features spectacular panoramic lake views and a serene atmosphere to practice yoga asanas.

Rose tea garden: This overlooks the lake and features beautiful blooming roses. This can be the perfect setup for San Diego wedding proposal.

In addition, you can soak in bath tubs, take relaxing steam showers, and calm your mind sitting in lake view balconies sipping organic coffee. The center also provides plant-based meals that are not only yummy, but also nourishing to the body and the soul.

So, if you looking for all inclusive spa resorts in northern California, you are welcome to Quiet Mind Retreat. The name says it all.

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Rolling in Romance: Wedding Transportation Ideas in San Diego

Your wedding day is a celebration of love and romance, and every detail should reflect the magic of the occasion. In San Diego, with its breathtaking views, picturesque venues, and perfect weather, choosing the right transportation adds an extra touch of elegance and sophistication to your special day. In this guide, we'll explore a variety of Wedding Transportation in San Diego ideas tailored to make your San Diego wedding unforgettable.

Classic Limousines: Timeless Elegance

Nothing exudes elegance and sophistication quite like a classic limousine. Arriving in a luxurious stretch limo sets the tone for a glamorous affair, allowing you and your bridal party to travel in style and comfort. San Diego offers a range of limousine services, each boasting an impressive fleet of meticulously maintained vehicles. Whether you prefer a sleek black limo or a vintage white Rolls-Royce, a classic limousine adds a touch of timeless charm to your wedding day.

Vintage Cars: Nostalgic Charm

For couples with a love for all things vintage, a classic car provides the perfect mode of transportation for their wedding day. San Diego is home to a treasure trove of vintage cars, ranging from sleek convertibles to elegant sedans. Imagine cruising through the streets of San Diego in a vintage Cadillac or a timeless Volkswagen Beetle, creating unforgettable memories against the backdrop of the city's stunning scenery. Vintage cars add a touch of nostalgia and charm to your wedding day, capturing the essence of romance from a bygone era.

Horse-Drawn Carriages: Fairy-Tale Romance

For couples dreaming of a fairy-tale wedding, a horse-drawn carriage offers a romantic and whimsical transportation option. San Diego's scenic parks, gardens, and historic landmarks provide the perfect backdrop for a magical carriage ride. Whether you're saying "I do" in a lush garden or exchanging vows on a pristine beach, a horse-drawn carriage adds an enchanting touch to your wedding day, transporting you and your beloved to a world of fairy-tale romance.

Trolley Rentals: Coastal Charm

Embrace the coastal charm of San Diego with a trolley rental for your wedding transportation needs. Trolleys are a fun and festive way to transport your guests between venues while showcasing the city's iconic landmarks and attractions. Whether you're hosting a beachfront wedding or a waterfront reception, a trolley rental allows your guests to enjoy scenic views and create unforgettable memories along the way. With their open-air design and vintage-inspired aesthetic, trolleys capture the essence of San Diego's laid-back coastal vibe, adding a touch of charm to your wedding celebration.

Luxury Sedans: Understated Sophistication

For couples seeking understated elegance, a luxury sedan offers a sleek and sophisticated transportation option for their wedding day. San Diego's upscale resorts, vineyards, and country clubs provide the perfect backdrop for a stylish arrival in a luxury sedan. Whether you're exchanging vows in a chic urban loft or hosting a romantic garden ceremony, a luxury sedan ensures a smooth and seamless journey from "I do" to "happily ever after." With their plush interiors and refined aesthetics, luxury sedans embody the epitome of timeless sophistication, making them an ideal choice for couples with discerning tastes.

Conclusion

Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and choosing the right transportation sets the stage for a truly unforgettable experience. In San Diego, with its idyllic scenery and romantic ambiance, a variety of transportation options are available to suit every couple's style and vision. Whether you opt for the timeless elegance of a classic limousine, the nostalgic charm of a vintage car, the fairy-tale romance of a horse-drawn carriage, the coastal charm of a trolley rental, or the understated sophistication of a luxury sedan, your wedding transportation will reflect the love and romance that defines your special day. With careful consideration and attention to detail, you can roll into wedded bliss in style and create memories that will last a lifetime.

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Justin Timberlake Announces Tour

Justin Timberlake has announced 2024 tour dates. Mon Apr 29 – Vancouver, BC – Rogers Arena Thu May 02 – Seattle, WA – Climate Pledge Arena Mon May 06 – San Jose, CA – SAP Center at San Jose Fri May 10 – Las Vegas, NV – T-Mobile Arena Tue May 14 – San Diego, CA – Pechanga Arena San Diego Fri May 17 – Inglewood, CA – Kia Forum Tue May 21 – Phoenix, AZ – Footprint Center Wed May 29 – San Antonio, TX – Frost Bank Center Fri May 31 – Austin, TX – Moody Center Tue Jun 04 – Fort Worth, TX – Dickies Arena Thu Jun 06 – Tulsa, OK – BOK Center Mon Jun 10 – Atlanta, GA – State Farm Arena Wed Jun 12 – Raleigh, NC – PNC Arena Fri Jun 14 – Tampa, FL – Amalie Arena Sat Jun 15 – Miami, FL – Kaseya Center Fri Jun 21 – Chicago, IL – United Center Tue Jun 25 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden Sat Jun 29 – Boston, MA – TD Garden Wed Jul 03 – Baltimore, MD – CFG Bank Arena Thu Jul 04 – Hershey, PA – Hersheypark Stadium Sun Jul 07 – Cleveland, OH – Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse Tue Jul 09 – Lexington, KY – Rupp Arena --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/news/justin-timberlake-announces-tour/

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: SCALA Vintage Brown Fabric & Floral Mesh Derby Rose Hat from Dorfman Pacific.

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Find Top Wedding Photographers In Southern California

Looking for the top wedding photographers in Southern California? Look no further! BE Studios is one of the leading wedding photographers and capture stunning images that fulfill your need. Whether you're dreaming of a picturesque beachside ceremony or a rustic garden affair, they will artfully document every precious moment, ensuring memories to last a lifetime. For more information, you can call us at 6198160768.