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deansawthetvglow · 6 years ago

Note

Prompt: For Dean's birthday, Cas Googles "presents for loved ones" and inadvertently follows recommendations for romantic gifts.

Shit. Okay. Hi anon, i forgot how to see inbox notifs and have no clue if u sent this during my drunk promt ask or sober prompt ask but will fill now.

Alright nvm ^^^ that didn’t happen.

I lost this prompt for days after I got drunk and I couldn’t find it in my drafts and alas, finally. Anyways, this was written fully sober, lmao.

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, 2.2k,

fluff, light angst, post s14. (ao3 link if u want)

It’s January 20th, 4 days out from Dean’s 40th birthday and he still has yet to decide on a gift. It’s his first time, really, buying Dean a birthday gift. Sure, there had been the pack of funny socks he had snagged in passing from the check out at a Gas-N-Sip, but there hadn’t been any thought behind that, no planning, nothing that Castiel thought constituted the socks as a gift. Not really.

Not only that, but there had never really been occasion to purchase a gift for Dean until now. Sam and Castiel had decided that, with the world coming to an end and all, Dean finally deserved a proper birthday party. In years past, he had either insisted on drowning out his birthday’s with booze or insisted on ‘no gifts.’

Castiel isn’t sure why, maybe because the eldest Winchester brother would only feel more indebted to the others around him, or perhaps because he simply didn’t like gifts. Either way, that’s why it became his mission to get the perfect gift for Dean. Something that isn’t a curse, but a comfort.

The time after Mary and Jack had passed away and Chuck opened the gates of hell had been rough for Dean and him. Sam had kept a protective arm’s length between Castiel and Dean, insisting Dean needed time. It hurt to feel their bond being stretched thin as he’d watch Dean across the bunker from the corner of his eye, careful not to step into his space. Castiel had decided to stay in the bunker despite the tension though, Sam insisting they needed all hands on deck as they began on the long road to killing God.

Still, despite their close proximity, and the time they’ve had to heal, he can’t help but feel further from Dean.

Cas remembers when Sam told a story of the time he gave Dean a chocolate bar and some motor oil for Christmas. Apparently, Dean had lit up at the sentiment, but Castiel can’t handle settling for something like that.

Dean deserves something special.

Castiel begins his search on Google using the simplest, most “Dean” search terms he can think of.

Men’s flannels

Not special enough

Classic records

Maybe some time, but still, not good enough.

A new pair of boots

Shoes are always too risky.

Cowboy costume

Halloween maybe, but not for this.

Guns

Dean already has one he trusts.

It’s been nearly two hours browsing Google and Amazon before Castiel has to take a break and let his head loll back with a sigh.

After stretching a bit and standing up to pace the length of the bunker, he finally settles on a Google search that he’s sure will bear fruit.

Gifts to show you care for someone.

Castiel takes his time clicking through the links and scrolling through many of the lists. He nearly gives up when finally, an article entitled, “Gifts to Connect You to the Person You Care About” catches his eye.

Cas smiles at the headline and clicks through the list, cataloging the possibilities away in his mind.

However, all those possible gifts dissipate from his mind as soon as he sees it. It’s perfect, and they have some in stock at the Bed Bath & Beyond an hour and a half away in Nebraska. With that, Cas calls a “Be back later!” into the seemingly empty bunker and heads out to fetch Dean’s gift.

When he finally arrives at the store, he makes his way inside and heads to the sleep section, his eyes lighting up when he sees what he’s looking for on the shelf below a big ��As Seen On TV” sticker.

Next to the sticker it reads: “Bed Beats”

Bed Beats are a pair of wristbands and compact speakers that are connected via wifi anywhere in the world. Just slip the wristband on, place the disc speaker underneath your pillow and send a request to your partner through the app. When they slip on their own wristband, the device will relay their heartbeat to your speaker and vice versa. Never feel disconnected again.

Castiel grins, giddy, and picks up the first box on the shelf. It’s exactly what he and Dean need. It’s the perfect way for Cas to watch over Dean without invading his space. It’s anatomical communication without speech. Cas will know when Dean needs help as his heartbeat speeds up, he’ll know when he’s at peace, he’ll know he’s alive.

He also blinks at the bursting yellow sticker that sits on the top left corner of the box that exclaims, “Great for Long Distance Couples!”

They may not be a couple, but with the way that their souls and relationship has grown distant, Castiel decides that’s enough to classify them as ‘long distance.’

As he waits in the line to check out, Cas also grabs a simple card and a tube of discounted, red wrapping paper left over from the holiday season.

When he gets back to his car, he decides it’s best to get everything in order before presenting the gift to Dean. When he finally gets into the heavily taped box, he pulls out one set of the wristband/speaker combos and sets it aside for himself.

Before shrouding the other set in the metallic, red of post-Christmas, 99¢ wrapping paper, he syncs the devices and downloads the app to avoid the hassle of setting it up later.

Then, he writes, with his thigh as a sort of table, in the card with an old pen he found in the console of his truck.

I’m including the instruction booklet in this card (please don’t read until after you open the gift!)

Dean,

I know I’ve made so many mistakes lately, and that perhaps we do not see eye to eye on everything any longer, but this is a chance to connect without having to agree. Just to sleep and not be so alone.

Happy Birthday. I hope you like it.

Yours, Castiel

However, he scribbles out the ‘yours’ as it feels out of place in this letter. With that, he seals the card, and the instructions, into a white envelope with Dean’s name in angelic script printed on the front.

The drive home is pleasant and he can’t help but feel butterflies for the moment he gets to present it to his charge.

The next days pass silently, Castiel with his gift for Dean hidden in his own closet and nearly forgotten amid all the preparations for the party.

Sam was in charge of inviting people and Dean had insisted on being in charge of food and drinks. On the day of the party, Castiel sits off to the side as many of the guests enter, most are hunters he’s never met before, and he can’t help but feel like an outsider as the day of barbequing and reminiscing devolves into pie and drunkenness by nightfall.

He’s glad to see Jody and Claire, but even then, their conversations are stilted, both of them want to speak primarily to Dean, the ‘birthday boy’, while Cas isn’t allowed that luxury.

He sits away from Dean all night, only making contact to say “Happy Birthday, Dean” after he blows out the ‘4’ and ‘0’ candles that someone stuck straight through the latticework on a sweet, cherry pie. Cas smiles as Claire goes up and whispers something to Dean that makes him throw his head back in laughter and begin a lively conversation with her.

That’s when he realizes he’s on the outside looking in.

From where he stands, nursing a finger of whiskey, he can see Alex and Garth discussing the medical anomalies of Lycanthropes, Sam, apocalypse-world-Bobby, Donna and Jody playing some sort of cards-and-drinking game, a few people he doesn’t know attempting beer pong in the war room and even a pair of local hunters musing over the library’s expansive collection.

He’s an outsider like he’s always been with the Winchesters. When he’s not of use, he feels unwelcome. He knows there’s never any ill intent, but even now, when he doesn’t even need his angel mojo, he still doesn’t quite fit. He doesn’t understand half of the banter thrown around the room, he can’t get drunk unless he drinks the entirety of the Men of Letters scotch collection, and he can’t interact with the guests without Dean coming up.

At this, loneliness overtaking him, he decides to retreat to his room to wait the party out.

He sends a nod and a tip of his glass to Sam before motioning that he’s leaving, Sam acknowledges him with a grin, drunk on whiskey and the excitement of the party, and Cas slips out of sight.

Before letting himself rest, he sneaks into Dean’s room to place the card and the gift on his bed.

He decides it’s best that way.

–

Castiel keeps his personal speaker and wristband close to him, beside his phone on his nightstand, hoping that some night it will be of use. He feels the uncertainty drift in and out as each night passes without so much as an acknowledgment of the gift.

A week passes before anything happens. It’s 3 am when Castiel’s ears pick up on the small ‘ding’ that pops out of his phone speakers.

He rolls over and grabs his phone. On the screen sits a notification.

Bed Beats

Dean would like to share his heartbeat. Accept?

Castiel grins into the dark and arranges the speaker underneath his pillow before securing the soft band around his wrist at his pulse point.

With a tentative thumb, he swipes to accept and lays his right ear down onto his pillow to hear Dean. He can hear his heart beating quickly, possibly a nightmare, Cas thinks, and wills his own jittery heart to slow. He has to be the grounding one for Dean, has to be a comfort.

His own heart beats deep like a drum, and soon he can hear Dean’s heart rate slowing to match his own. Soon, they’re in perfect sync with one another. He feels closer to Dean than he has in months and hopes Dean feels the same.

He listens as his charge’s heart rate begins to slow even more, to around 75 beats per minute, he notes, and assumes he’s slipping into sleep.

Castiel, usually one for wandering the bunker after the brothers are asleep, doesn’t dare lift his head from his pillow until Dean ends the connection come morning light.

It continues like this for many weeks, Dean requesting Castiel’s heartbeat in the wee morning hours, disconnecting at sunrise, and going about the days as if nothing has changed.

Nothing’s really changed during the day. They continue to keep their distance. Dean thanks him for making the coffee one Sunday morning and Sam tells Cas, “See, space is all you needed,” his eyes sincere, “It’s healing.” But Sam doesn’t know the reason the healing process has begun to speed up. Cas can tell Dean hasn’t told his brother of the gift, and he prefers it that way. It’s the first thing between them that Sam isn’t clued into since before Mary’s passing. That alone brings him peace.

It’s a Tuesday in early March when everything shifts. Cas is lying on his back in his bed, nerves nearly taking him. Dean almost always pings by 3 am, and now it’s 45 minutes past and he’s trying to keep calm.

A sound makes Castiel’s ears prick up, but this time it’s not a sharp ‘ding,’ it’s the soft sound of knuckles rapping on his door.

Cas, beneath the covers in his most comfortable shirt, one Dean loaned him for the brief period he was human, props himself up on one elbow and quirks his head as the door opens softly, revealing Dean in his doorway.

He’s in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with holes around the seams, and a pair of black briefs, and the “Send Noods” socks Castiel bought him.

“Dean?”

“Hey, Cas” Dean whispers into the darkness as he steps into the room, shutting the door behind him with care.

Words die on Castiel’s lips and his breath hitches as Dean pads, soft and calm, to his bedside.

He lifts the corner of Castiel’s blankets ever so slightly and looks down into the glint of Castiel’s blue eyes as if asking permission. Castiel gives him a slight nod and holds his breath as Dean lifts the covers further and slips in under them. He positions himself with his head resting on the left side of Castiel’s chest, ear right above his heart and arm draped across him, hand gently thumbing at the soft fabric on Castiel’s right shoulder.

Castiel can feel his own heart rate pick up, it’s swift and uncontrollable and it’s filling his vessel up to the brim with hard thumps. He’s beginning to wonder if he’ll ever breathe again when a low thud overcomes his near panic.

As bright as a bell in a void, he hears it, Dean’s heartbeat, drumming from the deep. This time it’s his charge’s heart that’s strong and steadfast and convinces Castiel’s own to join it in slow synchronization.

Castiel takes in a breath and slows his own heart rate. He sees Dean’s eyelids flutter shut and he lets his chin rest in the soft of Dean’s hair, his left hand rubbing slow circles into his back.

“I missed you.”

Dean doesn’t speak, but Castiel can feel the whisper of a smile move on his chest.

As he lets himself drift into peace, thoughts blink in his mind at the pace of his heart.

I fit here. Dean fits here. This is my family. This is who I love. This is home.

____

(Gift based on this!!!)

#deancas #destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel ficlet #destiel drabble #angel !!#king !!#prompt fill #asks #johnlockshire #anon #Johnlockshire replies #s14 spoilers #spn s14 spoilers #my fics

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percywinchester27 · 6 years ago

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Unconventional Roommates (Epilogue)

Word count: 2.6K

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Series Summary: Now that his brother is at Stanford, for the first time in his life, Dean does something for himself. He takes a step towards chasing his own dreams and moves away from Lawrence to start college, which is both thrilling and scary at the same time. Only catch, in this unknown town, he is stuck with the MOST infuriating female on the planet- the roommate from hell!

A/N: Here we are! Thank you, guys. Your love kept me going <3

This couldn’t have been possible without the incredible @deanssweetheart23. Thank you so much for everything, Athina. You rock, my princess <3

Unconventional Roommates masterlist

"This is a horrible fricking idea!" Dean grumbled, getting out of the car.

Y/N merely smirked, and Dean had to admit that the expression had never looked so alluring on anyone else. "You're just nervous. This is the coolest thing I've ever done."

Dean adjusted his tie. She looked so happy that he would have done anything to keep her smiling like that. This wasn't a big deal as it is. He was only nervous because he had never done this before, and also because he was about to walk in with the best girl he knew.

Incidentally, the reason for Y/N's excitement was same as his nervousness. She had never done this before either.

The building was colored in flashing crimson and purple lights which reflected on Y/N's face. Dean couldn't help but be reminded of the fair, when they were stuck in the Ferris wheel. She had looked beautiful then, and she looked beautiful now. The black wig that she was sporting suited her perfectly, so did the dark lipstick. She looked something else.

Just before they could enter the hall, Dean caught hold of her hand and pulled her back.

"Have I told you that you look absolutely stunning?"

Y/N looked down, smiling shyly. It would still take him time to get used to her reacting like that instead of glare down at him like she was about to pull out a butcher's knife.

"You don't look bad yourself, Romeo!"

"Are you kidding me?" Dean complained, touching his slick black hair. "I look like a clown."

"No you don't," she said, running her hand over the lapels of his coat, fussing over him. "You look hot." She licked her lips. "I'd kiss you, but I don't wanna ruin the look with my lipstick."

"Screw the look," Dean said, reaching out for the small of her back and pulling her close. "I don't give a damn about the look."

He leaned in, but she put a finger to his lips. "If you kiss me now, we'd have to go right back home to finish what we started, and I don't want to miss tonight. It's such a big day for you."

Dean could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. She was so proud of him.

It wasn't a big deal. They were launching the paper today, but they all did it every month. For him, though, this was the first time. They had loved his pictures so much that a couple of them were being used in tonight's Halloween party as a backdrop with some Halloweeny stickers. Y/N had been delighted to know about that. It was right after telling her that, that Dean had asked her out to the party.

She had been excited about it from the get go, especially the dressing up part. Dean found it amusing that she was so excited about dressing up even though she did it for a living. That was until he found out what she was planning to dress up as. Honestly, he shouldn't have expected any less of her. She had somehow convinced him to dress up as Gomez Addams, complete with the temporarily colored black hair. He might have to take a couple of days to wash it off completely, but again, her happiness was so palpable that he didn't want to take it away. She was ravishing as Morticia.

All things considered, it was still better than her idea of dressing up as Ted Bundy and Clementine Barnabet. Dean had to talk her out of it. He loved that she was still wearing the printed socks that he had gifted her. The skull beanie had been a constant up until tonight.

As the day approached though, despite her initial reaction, Y/N seemed to grow a little anxious about it. Not enough to curb her enthusiasm, but definitely enough to not fully enjoy it. They had had fun with putting together the ensembles. For the past week, since their evening on the beach, Dean had woken up at ungodly hours to catch Y/N's closing act of the night. All eyes in the club hungered for one look at her, but her eyes only searched his, and Dean felt like his chest widened a couple of inches each time.

After each show, he'd wait behind the curtains to welcome her when she came back, not believing that the Nymph was his. The other girls were happy for Y/N. They were all around her age, but she had mentored almost all of them. It made him clearly see her for who she was- a giver. She did so much for the girls who could very well end up being her own competition, and she did so much for all those little girls in Mia's school, too. Seeing her interact, he also realized that she was a natural teacher, she loved to share what she knew, selflessly.

They scourged through the fancy costumes at the Elixir, trying to try out funny hats and coats, entertaining the girls who had been exhausted after entertaining people all night long. Y/N's eyes shined when she saw him accepting her life and everyone in it so easily. She kissed him harder that morning in the car.

They did find the perfect costumes for Gomez and Morticia, too, there.

Other girls passing them were dressed as nurses or hot assistants, making the most of the opportunity to wear revealing clothes without it being questioned and more credit to them, but there was something very endearing about Y/N's childish excitement about dressing up in two full length layers.

"C'mon!" He grinned, pulling her by her arm, but she didn't move.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?"

Dean huffed. "Now you're having cold feet about this? After you made me spend 2 hours in the bathroom trying to get the hair right?"

"No… Dean," she said, voice abruptly serious. "It's not that, I mean…"

"Hey," Dean put his hand against her soft cheek. "You alright? You're not feeling sick, are you? I told you not to overdo the shifts. In fact, you can take it easy now. Anyway you're quitting the job next month when all your installments for the apartment are paid."

"Dean. Listen." She put her hand over his… the one she was already holding. "Do you want to be seen here with me?"

"Y/N!"

She was quick to put up her hand. "Look… I'm not doubting you. You're like God's personal blessing who just happened to creepily drop into my apartment, but not everyone is as accepting as you. Someone might recognize me… and I'm used to all sorts of slurs, but you're not. I don't want to put you through that."

Her voice had consistently risen, and her eyes were widening with every said word.

"Shhh… Just stop panicking," he said, pulling her against his chest. "You're missing the whole goddamned point here. You think I'd be ashamed if someone said anything about you? Don't you get it by now that I'm just beyond thrilled to be with a fantastic person like you? The first night when I found you at Elixir, I didn’t leave because I was mad at you, I left because seeing me there was distracting you. I thought you knew that."

She shook her head. "I do know that, and I know you won't be ashamed… I thought you'd be more like… angry."

"If someone called you a bad name?"

She nodded meekly against his silky black lapels.

"We could always make them a customer in our newly furnished torture room," he shrugged. "Bet that will teach them to talk crap about hard working people."

She laughed, breaking completely free of the dismal Morticia façade. "You're crazy."

"Says you!" He said smiled, pecking her cheek. "That's very rich, don't you think?"

This time she let him take her in.

If it was a rainbow disaster outside, the inside was how the fairy world would look in the scene of an Armageddon. It was insane. Dean didn't know where to put his eyes. Wasn't Halloween supposed to be incredibly gloomy? Why was it so colorful?

"Hold me!" Dean said, grabbing Y/N by the shoulders. "I think my retinas are screaming for a savior."

"Shut up, it's not that bad," she admonished. "Besides, bright flashing lights are supposed to make you bold and all that. People dance without stopping to think what they look like."

"Seems fair." Dean looked at the centre of the floor where couples were trying to dance along the jazz tune.

"You wanna go out there?" She jerked her neck towards the floor.

"What? No!" Dean said, flustered. "I can't dance to save my life."

"It's not that hard… come, I'll show you."

He rolled his eyes. Of course she could.

Y/N pulled him towards the dance floor, but still away from the centre. She guided his hands to her waist and put both of hers on his shoulders. "Now you just sway from one side to another. See? Like this."

"I'm just gonna step on your dress and pull us both down," he warned trying to follow her. It wasn't fair that she was doing it so effortlessly and he was left to struggle.

"OMG, Y/N!" Hannah exclaimed, walking up from behind. "I didn't know Dean was gonna bring you along! You both look great."

Hannah was dressed like a Vampire… at least that's what Dean made out of the fangs and blood crusted lips.

"Cas, Meg!" She called out. "Look, Dean's here and he bought Y/N along."

Soon enough Dean's other two friends were there. Meg was wearing a red and black bodysuit with horns and tail, while Cas was dressed in a white suit with attached feathered wings, a halow perched on top.

"Angel and Demon?" Y/N asked. "That's very original."

"Hey, it wasn't my idea," Cas said, pulling her into a half hug. Dean wasn't really sure Y/N was the hugging type, but Cas just gave the vibe.

"You turned out to be way more badass than we gave you credit for," Meg grinned, nudging Y/N in the shoulder. "And there we were wondering how you could rock that limbo so hard."

It was hard to tell in the flashing lights but Y/N seemed to blush.

The DJ changed the song to a more upbeat one Meg pushed Y/N towards Dean, "C'mon, you guys, move it!"

"You wanna move it?" Y/N wiggled her eyebrows, grinding against him. Dean laughed but before he could reply, his eyes fell on Nick who was eyeing them from the sides.

"C'mere!" Dean pulled Y/N tightly against him, one hand sliding down her back to grab her ass, the other fisted in her hair, holding her to him. He brought his lips to her temple, kissing her softly, then deliberately dragged it along her cheek and down to the base of her neck. Sucking a mark exactly where he knew affected her the most. Y/N's moan was both muted and involuntary.

"Dean!" She giggled. It wasn't something she did often, but Dean loved the sound. He didn't stop there…. He let his lips travel along the column of her neck, hands roving all over her back.

Y/N's fingers gripped his coat tightly, her chest rising and falling against his own. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Nick had disappeared.

"Who are you putting on a show for, Winchester?" She said, reaching up to kiss his lips, not caring about the lipstick anymore apparently.

"No one of importance," Dean shrugged. "You mind putting on a show?"

"Nope… not at all. I do that for a living."

Dean didn't care if he had put Nick in his place, or not. Nick had sure tried to ruin it all for Dean, but ultimately hadn't it worked in his favor after all. For all he cared, Nick could go screw himself. He had Y/N, there would never be a bigger victory than that.

"So about Thanksgiving," Y/N said, "I can't really cook a turkey. I mean we invited all these people, and I can't cook to save the world."

"It's okay, we'll figure something out," Dean replied. "There's like a million cookbooks out there. Besides we can always order, and everyone is getting something or the other. If the turkey sucks, we can eat the mashed potatoes."

"But counting Mia and the girls, Sam and Jess, Cas, Meg and the couple of girls from the club, there's like 12 of us. Our apartment isn't big enough."

"Y/N. Stop panicking!" They had both stopped dancing by now and were just holding each other's hands. "We have almost a month to go. By then you'd have signed the papers for the building and we can do it in the basement."

She still didn't look convinced.

"Hey," Dean lowered his face to look into her beautiful eyes. "Even if they don't like the turkey, the newly minted torture equipment will keep them from saying anything." He winked.

"Seriously, Dean," she said, "I've never done this before. I don't know how to talk to people… what to talk to people about. I just- this feels so normal and I've never had normal before."

His heart broke for her. She wanted this and yet she was so scared of the unknown.

"You know the girls, Y/N. And Meg and Cas are friends. They like you. You know that!"

She nodded absent-mindedly. "What about Sam and his girlfriend?"

Dean scoffed remembering the conversation he'd had with his brother. "Sam thinks you're way out of my league. And Jess? I've met that girl. You don't need to talk, she'll talk enough for everyone in the room."

"Mhmmm…"

He pulled her back against his chest and they started moving in slow circles again.

"You'll have your dream, Y/N. We'll have a studio downstairs and Mia can live here. You can study something else at the University in the day and I'll get a job in a few years down the line. We can eat crappy food, play scrabble on weekends and have long walks on the beach. That is normal, right?"

"That doesn't sound too bad," she mumbled, and her voice was so hopeful, Dean was tempted to take one look at her face to know what she was really thinking.

"Do you want to head home?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Let's stay a while. This feels normal and I like it."

She put her head back against his shoulder as swayed on the same spot. Dean didn't know what tomorrow held. Hell, all of this was so new to him that he couldn't even estimate what the next minute was going to bring. But as long as he was with Y/N, he knew he could do it. He could do anything. Dean was happier than he had ever expected to be in his life.

He was learning what he loved, his brother was happy and doing good in life and there was an incredible girl in his arms.

To say he was content would be an understatement.

He was fucking ecstatic.

Dean bent down to kiss Y/N's forehead. He could get used to it…. in fact, he would be the luckiest guy in the whole wide world, if this unconventional life became his normal.

*************************

A/N 2: This is it, guys! We are done with one more series. My immense gratitude to everyone who has commented, sent asks, and words of love. It’s meant more to me than I can ever tell you. Thank you so much!! Much love <3

So, did you guys like it???

A/N 3: Please do consider reblogging my work and leaving feedback. Reblogging helps spread it, and also helps against the “best posts first” option tumblr has. The more the notes, the less chance of it getting buried beneath others posts. And the comments are what keep me going. I love you guys and I’ll be in forever grateful <3

Here’s my side blog @percywinchester27-writes. You can give that blog a follow and turn the notifications on to know about updates.

UR taglist:

@deanssweetheart23 @captainradicalpassion @docharleythegeekqueen @sleepless-sin @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @ohgodwhybloggg @roxyspearing @oneshoeshort @theofficialduke @wildlandfox @mrswhozeewhatsis @emoryhemsworth @dslocum89 @justacinnamonroll @fanfreak07 @dustycelt @serienjunkiegirl @thinkwritexpress-official @babykalika2001 @daskleinevolk @jayankles @blacktithe7 @pensysto @iyannamckague @shamelesslydean @crystallstaircase @melonberri @commander-meghan-shepard @trenchcoat-angel @smiling-meerkat @sprnaturallover @violinbetty @fandom-trash-worth-it @grace-for-sale @katsanders @samwinchesterfanfic @bluestarshining @torn-and-frayed @adaliamalfoy @anathewierdo @gabavaldman @brindz30 @heavymetalhauswife @sdavid09 @hatemeup @plaidstiel-wormstache @deannawinchesterpie @kit-kat-katie99 @jessieray98 @mlovesstories @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @directionernullneun @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @theoriginalvicki @angelessquirrel @thereisnolumos @julie121899 @mikid2000 @freekryptonitecloud @padasteph-nie @luna-plena-venandi @tiffy119 @linki-locks11 @mirandaaustin93 @pjofangirl18 @hunterswearingplaid @cookiechipdough @superlock-on-pc @daughterleftbehind @abumbling-bee @savanna1899 @imweirdandobsessed @emilycollins11 @diariesofthebeautyobsessed @bakabozza @imascio08 @luvspnandphan @stormisamystery @atc74 @aiaranradnay @bellastellaluna @deansgirl215 @xristina-gkika @almostelegantfire @infinity-dreamchaser @roonyxx @ericaprice2008 @akshi8278 @leatherandapples @ceisbill @alwaysdreamingforthebest

#dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #reader x dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester reader insert #anawrites #anawritesspn #Ana writes UR #Ana writes Dean #ur epilogue #q

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mydisenchantedeulogy · 6 years ago

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Invincible [Chapter 11] Good Feeling [Katsuki Bakugou]

“Try to remember that quirks can put a strain on the body. They are an extension of power, but without proper training the user can suffer greatly,” the nurse with a bow in her hair explains. She writes several things down on her clip board as she lectures me. “In your case, Miss Usui, your mind isn’t strong enough for the amount of stress you put on it. I’d suggest taking it easy for a couple of days. Then, once you are able to, try strengthening your mind a little. Don’t push yourself too much, but widen the limits of your control.”

I agree with her, even though I am upset with it. The news fills like salt on a wound. It seems like the practice I put in during the 10 months before the practical exam were for nothing. I may have exceeded my limits, but not by much. My mother had pushed far beyond hers in such a sort time. It feels awful that I can’t.

“Does this mean I can go home?”

The nurse with a bow in her hair gives me a quick smile, then glances down at her clipboard again. “Looks so. You seem to be able to stand without feeling dizzy, and according to your tests you have a slight heart arrhythmia, but it’s nothing serious. I’ll ask that you avoid stressing yourself. If it persists; the dizziness and shortness of breath, you should come back immediately.”

“I understand,” I tell her.

She hands me a paper with my diagnosis on it, explaining my reason for being hospitalized, then allows me to go. I have been checked out already. The nurse tells me that the person is waiting out in the hallway for me, and once she leaves the room, she allows them in. I am surprised to see Katsuki here.

He comes over to the bedside and moves my food tray to the side, placing down a small bag with my necessities in it. He then sits in the chair across from me.

“Classes are canceled for the day. The school is being investigated, so you didn’t miss much.” Katsuki looks me over. “Get dressed. We’re going on that date I promised you.”

I am confused. I remember winning the date, but I don’t see why he’d choose today to take me. It’s Thursday afternoon. I have been in the hospital since yesterday. The way I see it, Katsuki should take the day for himself. He needs to relax too.

“Are you sure? You fought harder than me at USJ. Don’t you want to spend the rest of the day at home?”

“Of course I do, fuck munch.” His reply is course. He sounds tired, but I don’t comment on it, and allow him to continue. “However, I lost. You made a decent score in the practical exam, so I’d be a liar if I didn’t take you out. Today is a better time to go, then this weekend.”

I don’t argue with him. Instead, I grab the bag and stand up. I’ll get dressed in the bathroom. This morning I had taken a shower, so I am good to go. Once I am inside the confines of the stark white room, I close the door and strip out of my hospital gown. I take each of the items out of the bag; my underclothes and bathroom supplies. The last item is a white dress with light blue snowflakes printed on the fabric. I remember this dress. My mother had bought it for me to apologize for missing the snow festival last year. She had said it reminded her of the statue of the snow woman in one of the pictures my father took. I love this dress. How does Katsuki know?

Once I’m done, I bag my stuff and leave the room. I decide to leave my hair down today, since it’s nice outside. Katsuki glances up at me, and sits his phone down in his lap.

“Is something wrong?”

He scowls at me. “You look nice, dumbass. The dress is out of season for this weather, but it suits you.”

I feel my face heat up. Did he really just compliment me? It was very Katsuki-like, but still, he actually gave me a decent compliment. “Are you sure that you’re up for this? You seem different. Are you sick?”

“Piss off,” he snaps. “I was only telling you that you look nice, so you won’t complain. I don’t have time for your mood swings.”

He should take some time to look in the mirror. He’s the one with the mood swings. Even so, I am happy that he likes it. His father works in the fashion industry, so I assume some of his comment spawns from the this fact. His mother might kill him if he leaves the house wearing something vile. The truth is, he looks nice anytime he goes out.

I give him a quick glance over, and slip my arms behind my back. Suddenly I feel very shy. He’s wearing a red shirt beneath a black button-down that he keeps completely open. Sometimes I wonder if Masaru dresses him before he goes out. I’ve seen what he wears at home; sweatpants and shirts with violent logos on them. I doubt they’d let him walk around the city like a thug. However, I will admit, he looks nice either way.

“Ready to go?”

Katsuki stands up and leads me from the room. Once we make it down to the lobby I notice my father. I call out to him and run across the room to speak with him.

“Glad to see your doing better, kiddo.” He pats my head. “I came here to check you out, but I ran into Bakugou on the way. He mentioned taking you out on a date, so I waited here to get your bag from you.”

I laugh, honestly happy to see him. “Thank you for bringing the dress.”

“It was Sachiko’s idea,” he admits. Sachiko is my mother’s name. Somehow I had known that she was behind this.

My father rakes his fingers through his light-colored hair, and dips his head towards Katsuki. “I’ll be heading back now. Try to have Airi home before dark.” He pats my head once again, and takes my bag from me. I wave goodbye to him as he leaves. Soon after, Katsuki and I follow after, heading into the city.

I glance around at the shops, enjoying the bustle of the busy urban environment. But, Katsuki pulls me from my thoughts.

“Where do you want to go?”

I frown; honestly I don’t know. “I don’t care. Anywhere is fine with me.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I know better than that,” the blond argues. “If I listen to you and take you somewhere you don’t want to go, you’ll complain the whole time. Now answer the damn question.”

“What about you? How do you spend your day in the city?”

“I go to the arcade,” he says with a sigh.

I recall him going to the arcade a lot with his friends. I had assumed it was something they liked to do. Katsuki had never taken me with them, so I knew nothing about it. Honestly I am happy. This is something new about him that I am learning. I want to be someone he can enjoy himself with.

“I’ve never been to an arcade before,” I admit. “Let’s go there.”

He agrees to take me and leads me to a game center that is five stories high. I can’t believe how massive this place is. We take the escalator up to the fourth floor – Katsuki refers to it as the floor with the fighting games. Once we’re there, Katsuki picks a game. It’s a 2 player station with knobs and buttons. The idea is to fight each other until one of us wins. I chose a character with a color scheme of hot pink; Katsuki choses a male character that’s like him, uses explosives. The round begins.

Katsuki beats me the first round, but once I have the moves down, I easily beat him. During the last round, I manage to beat him again. He narrows his eyes at me, stating that I used the same move over and over. I agree, but at least I beat him.

The credit screen pops up and I am allowed to type my name in. I notice a familiar name amongst them and laugh.

“King of Explodo-kills. Is that you?”

He nods, despite being upset about his loss. I am impressed. Katsuki is really good at a lot of things he does. He has a high score in this game, which it pretty cool. I didn’t do bad, but I doubt I’d be able to beat Katsuki’s score.

“Give me a name,” I order him. The blond furrows his brows so I explain better. “You have a nickname. I want one too.”

Katsuki agrees, taking the knob in his hand. He begins to type in a name while I wait in anticipation. Once he’s done I hiss annoyance. The screen reads fuck-munch. I poke at his cheek.

“I demand a rename. You can’t write anything with curse words in it,” I argue.

Katsuki ignores me and grabs my hand. He pulls me over to a new game, and we begin playing. He curses at me as I button punch again. Sooner or later, he’ll see that playing fighting games with me is pointless. He’ll never win.

Hours pass by on the fourth floor. I am having fun. Once we get bored of fighting games, Katsuki takes me to the first floor to try my hand at the crane machines. I am surprisingly good at this and score a cute, sleeping Pichu plush. It reminds me of Denki, so I laugh.

Katsuki doesn’t seem to like crane machines much, but that’s okay. I notice a photo sticker booth in the corner of the room and drag him over to it. He takes some convincing, but I manage to do so. We enter the booth and pay the machine, getting an option for 4 pictures. I chose this option. Within seconds we are asked to pose, and the timer begins to count down.

“How should we pose?”

“I’m not going to pose. Just let it take the pictures so we can get out of here,” Katsuki tells me.

I can’t allow that. At the last few seconds, I reach over and use my fingers to pull up the corners of Katsuki’s lips. The camera snaps before he can protest. The next picture is wasted with him glaring at me. I pretend to never have touched him. In the third photo, I lean forward and kiss his cheek – his face turns red. The last photo is next, so I beg him to make it count. I smile and lean against his shoulder. He faces the camera, but flips it off once the shutter snaps. Honestly, I am not mad. This is Katsuki; king of pride.

As we leave the booth, I pick up the pictures and look them over. They’re kind of cute. I defiantly like the two were Katsuki is being himself, so I decide to keep them. I offer the first 2 over to him, which he looks at with a soft expression, then shoves into his pocket.

We decide to leave the arcade and head home. It’s getting late. On the way, Katsuki buys me a cupcake from the bakery. He catches me trying to peek at a fan service magazine at the stand across the street, and calls me a pervert. Guilty pleasures; I can’t help it. I pout at his name calling and take the cupcake. It looks delicious. I thank him and eat it happily as we continue to walk.

“You eat like a damn pig, Airi. There’s frosting on your face,” Katsuki hisses at me.

He stops and uses his thumb to wipe the chocolate frosting from the corner of my mouth. My face instantly goes warm. Since when does he use my first name? Maybe I am overthinking this. Maybe I’m not. I really do like Katsuki a lot. A smile pulls at my lips.

“The hell are you smiling for?”

“I’m just happy is all,” I admit. “I like being with you.”

I notice the blush spread across Katsuki’s face. He seems embarrassed, which is cute. Wish I could know what he’s thinking. Maybe he likes me too.

“Do you consider this a date?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why do you ask?”

A sly smile pulls at my lips. “I just wanted to hear you say it, is all.”

Katsuki glares at me, then takes my cupcake and smashes it against my face. I can feel the frosting coat my skin. My poor cupcake. Annoyance boils in me.

“I can’t believe you did that,” I pout. “I don’t like you very much anymore.”

Katsuki scoffs. “I don’t believe that.”

“Then you’re right. I don’t hate you,” I admit. I wipe some of the icing away, and lick it off my fingers. “You’re a good boyfriend, Katsuki. Even those times you tried to talk sense into me. I wasn’t lying when I said that.”

Katsuki slips off his button-down and starts to wipe away the icing on my face. This makes me kind of sad, considering I like the piece of fabric. But, he owes me for ruining my cupcake.

“We’ve been dating since middle school; longer if you consider preschool,” he says suddenly.

I feel my stomach flutter. “Do you?”

“It’s something the hag told me before I left the house,” he recalls, ignoring my question completely. “She calls it a childhood romance.”

“Sounds weird,” I admit. Do people still have this? I never thought of what we have as a romance. I just thought of it as something life partners have. It’s strange to think of us as actual lovers. We don’t act like a couple.

“No shit,” Katsuki agrees with me.

“Are we an actual couple?”

Katsuki scrubs at my face. “Kind of stupid to disagree now. That fucking hedgehog already told everyone we are. You didn’t disagree, so now you’re stuck with me. Like it or not, you’re my girlfriend.”

“I can live with that,” I agree with a smile. “However, don’t you think calling me a fuck-munch is a little mean. You should be a little nicer to me.”

“Not a fucking chance,” the blond hisses. He grabs my nose and squeezes hard.

I cry out in pain, swatting at his hand. He’s the absolute meanest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. “I take it back. I don’t think I like you. When I get home, I’m looking for a new boyfriend. Maybe one of those cuties from that magazine.”

“Good luck, pervert. None of those dumbasses can equal up to me,” the blond boasts.

I wrap my arm with his and walk beside him to the station. The truth is, I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I just wish he wouldn’t tease me so much. A smile pulls at my lips. Tough luck, I guess.

#katsuki bakugou #my hero academy fanfiction #oc #romance

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joomma · 2 years ago

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samedaycustom · 3 years ago

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qwertyfingers · 4 years ago

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spike i love youuuuuuuuuu as always as always

the receipts hc i am hooked on and reminds me of what we were talking about a while back: that he keeps "junk" from all kinds of things. he likes being able to tie a moment to an object, or a place. if something meaningful, something he really wasts to remember, happens - sometimes its big declarations like 'youre our brother, cas' and other times its simpler, softer: 'its been nice having you around'; dean laughing at a joke he made intentionally and not just his clumsy wording; sam remembering which podcasts cas enjoys, which lore he's researching - he keeps all the trash in his vicinity. receipts and coins and empty paper bags. pebbles and stones he finds on the ground.

seaglass and tiny chips of driftwood from the time they went to the beach and dean said he looked adorable with sunburn on his nose.

sometimes its a scrunched burger wrapper, sometimes a tourist pamphlet or leaflet on the dangers of smoking or the ripped out page of a newspaper's job adverts dean had used to brainstorm new fake names on, a list which featured 'patrick swayze' twice, and most of which were so bad sam had outright vetoed. cas wanted to remember dean had named him mr blue sky with a grin that felt like sunshine

most of it goes in his car, or at the bunker. the pebbles and stones and rocks and seaglass and sticks live on a shelf in his room that's practically a terrarium by now. he arranges them carefully, thinking about the tone of the event where he found them before giving them a home. he places the soft, muted conversations in careful circles around the brash arguments. keeps the happier, brighter days swept up with flowers and leaves.

the receipts he folds and unfolds like breathing, carries them in his pockets like a prayer. he thinks, perpetually, of their most recent diner meal, their previous gas station stop, the last motel room they checked out of. half of them wear through before he has a chance to take them home, worried by worried fingertips, curled around the knuckles, comforting, a blanket, a shield, from the ever-present fear of this could be the last one we have. his fingertips turn grey from wearing off the ink so often he starts carrying a handkerchief.

when they get too many to carry around he presses them flat again and stashes them inside their books. diner receipts in books about families, grocery stores in cookbooks. gas stations always go in an empty box for thelma and louise on dvd. dean had found it, once, and added a receipt of his own. cas noticed - of course he notcied - and pretends it doesnt feel profound.

he writes down every film or tv show he watches, and who was withhim, in a notebook - blue leather, the same colour as his tie, an unexpected gift from sam. sam had suggested keeping a journal, but writing about himself, his feelings, felt alien, unhelpful. he writes down when he hears a new song, or a lyric that he likes. he starts adding poems to the mix, later. he likes the routine of it, sort of like paperwork, but it gives him space to think, too, about what he likes and dislikes. often, his only comment is 'it was loud'

he buys things that remind him of people all the time - it makes him feel warm, permits him a small sign of caring without being overbearing. after all this time he's still afraid of being too much

there's tacky little devil motifs for jack, because they make him laugh; magnets and stickers and tiny figurines. he and jack have a private collection going - jack gives him angels in return. they take over a library shelf laying it all out, sam dubs it 'the angels' blashphemous nativity'

postcards of haunted buildings for sam. he sends a few of them per year - posting them from where he is (usually the same place sam is) to the bunker's PO box - a ritual that should be pointless but feels sacred. he always keeps one in the inside pocket of his coat, sam's name and a protective sigil drawn on it

a print out of mary oliver's wild geese lives in the same pocket, carefully cut out and laminated. he doesnt need it really - could recite the poem backwards and forwards, in enochian, in his true voice - but every day he holds it, reads it, pictures the geese. every day he lets himself love. its a physical reminder of his journey to get here.

claire had given him a small friendship bracelet, 5 stitches wide in a soft rainbow, that he never removed. it was a part of his arm, now.

he doesnt need tokens for dean; his body just. remembers. the twist of his fingers through the air and dean is there, heels and soles of his feet pressing into the earth as he rocks back and forth and dean is there, the lilt of his voice in whispered repetitions, and dean is there. when he rolls his eyes, compulsive as a tic, he can hear dean's huff of laughter every time

he wishes it weren't, but his most common echolalia is just 'jefferson starships', just the right amount of silly and satisfying to say that its get its hooks in him.

his driving playlists are carefully curated, because there are some songs you just cant not dance (or cry) to, and cas would very much like to not crash

on long journeys he likes to take his rest breaks in a big field or forest rather than a truck stop. the presence of plants and bees and bugs and wind soothes and recharges him. away from the pain of fluorescent lights and the rumble of cars and the high whine of degrading electronics he feels something close to real calm.

and still, always, he dreams of that eternal tuesday afternoon in heaven.

i know we know that cas is autistic and that like literally makes more sense as a reading of canon than if he isnt but. it’s still almost entirely unintentional so while he is decently relatable he isn’t relatable enough. so.

he talks about objects like they’re people. he apologises to things he bumps into, he rearranges piles of books so they’re comfortable, he can’t go into thrift stores without buying at least three things because he knows no one else will and he wants them to be loved.

he does that thing ax animorphs does where he says a word and then gets distracted by how good it sounds and has to say it some more before he can finish his sentence. he echolalias a lot of radio commercials and turns of phrases diner staff use. he mimics slightly the accents of whoever he’s talking to.

he keeps all the receipts he encounters in his pockets and scrunches & unscrunches them until they go all soft.

once he’s started explaining something it will buzz in his head until he can finish explaining it. it’s very important he gets all the little details right. he will pick up exactly where he left off hours earlier.

he uses emoji in his texts, the facial expressions as tone indicators and the animals & objects because he likes them. he makes little scenes with them if he’s waiting alone somewhere and then he sends them with no other explanation. dean & claire get the most because they’re usually a reference to something

and. he has spinterests! bees, human theology, jack got him hooked on star wars, he caught impala spinterest from dean. he’s not really one for reading but he likes film and tv and How Things Work. if smth specific comes up on a hunt he does a deep dive after & then retains both the knowledge and the interest forever so he’s just steadily collecting things he’s an expert in. ranges from the ecosystem of a single specific forest to the conservation of all art to the etymology of russian terms for cats. dean and sam now ask him before they ask google

#spn #castiel #spn meta #autistic cas #spn fic #wtf gay little autism #fitzspike supernatural extended universe

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houseofvans · 8 years ago

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Sketchy Behaviors | PACOLLI (San Francisco,CA)

Working as a producer in MTV Brazil, self taught artist Patricia Colli (Pacolli) started out hand drawing her own calendars and silk screening her own shirts. Making her own way through a mostly male dominated São Paulo art scene, Pacolli's natural creativity, unique eye for color and composition, and ear for the lyrical made her work stand out from the rest. Not only did her colorfully spastic, psychedelic, and angsty work catch our eye, but also her “go-getter” attitude and DIY ethic which permeates in everything she does: from silk screening her own gear, self publishing her zines, managing her online shop, High In The Bay to the recent opening of her new art space–Bendgy in Brazil. We got to chat with this chill artist about her new space Bendgy, her artistic processes, and about the magic of zines.

Photographs courtesy of the artist.

Keep calm, read on!

Introduce yourself My name is Patricia Colli, but people call me Pacolli (it doesn't really have a funny story behind the name, it was just my first email because i wasn't much of a Patty and I had a band with my friend Ronaldo who introduced me to everyone as Pacolli, eventually I stopped fighting it and embraced it, it's like a one name thing like Cher and I like Cher). I'm 35, born in São Paulo (Brazil) and I live in San Francisco, California with my husband and also artist Mildred.

What’s the first thing you remember drawing? How did you first get interested in art and making art? I remember drawing a house in the hills when I was in school and the teacher said that wasn't really good, I went to an italian catholic school in Brazil and they were not a fan of arts. Maybe that's why I started, in a very shy way, to go around it and start drawing all the time. I didn't like school from day one so I started drawing during classes to escape from it. In 7th grade I started drawing the guys that my friends and I had crushes on and passing them during class, we would laugh so much because the drawings were really sketchy and they were all about skipping class to go see them and skipping class to go to concerts, getting fake IDs and being crazy, recklessly teenagers!I always kept something like a sketchbook journal through the years and eventually they started to become zines, and then t-shirts...

What’s your artistic process like? Do you keep a sketchbook or doodle everywhere you go? I do keep a sketchbook with me at all times, and I make a lot of lists of things to draw. I also write down funny/interesting things I heard or read somewhere. I like to take my time to come up with an idea and daydream as much as I can about it before doing it. I like the process of coming up with something and letting it reveal itself as I go on. It's like finding something about yourself there.

How did your life go from drawing as a hobby to drawing as a career? I used to work on MTV Brazil as a producer and I used to make my own calendars with a big drawing on top, my co-workers used to make copies of those to use them too... I thought it was cool that people liked it but I never thought I could do this for a living. A couple years went by and I started screen printing some t-shirts and got invited for a fashion art show in Antwerp (Belgium). It was funny cause I started being asked to participate in art shows and collaborative zines in Europe but never in Brazil, so it was like a fun side gig to me. Eventually I started getting some freelance illustration/t-shirt design gigs/art shows in Brazil and abroad and gave up my tv job, started traveling where my art was taking me and it took me to San Francisco where I am since then.

What are some of the hardest challenges you have faced as an artist and how did you overcome them? It was hard to manage the ups and downs of the job and understand that's how it goes, sometimes you get called to make a bunch of shows and gigs at the same time and sometimes it feels like there's nothing happening for months to end... so I like to make things happen when I have these slower times, experiment different mediums, collaborate with other artists, start a new personal project and be productive. It's important to keep a perspective about those things and to not compare your path to anyone else cause that won't help. I tend to get anxious if I don't have projects lined up, but if there are no opportunities you have to create them yourself.

You have some many various types of characters – heart shaped people, coffee cup personalities to rabbit / cat people. What’s the inspiration behind some of them and do they all sort of have personalities? I guess I see faces everywhere lol, drawing humans is challenging! I make myself laugh sometimes when I'm drawing strange creatures that don't exist doing humane things, it's like it's ok for them to look a bit off because there's nothing to compare them to, you know? I like drawing these characters with human feelings but not in a human form because it's more fun and freeing. Sometimes I make these creatures inspired by my friends, I drew the album cover for my friend's band Polara and we used to drink so much coffee all the time, I thought the best way to go about was to draw a bunch of espresso coffee cups dancing like crazy and dizzy bumper cars cause that's how you feel listening to their music after all that coffee!

It’s always really cool to see you printing your own stuff from shirts to stickers When did you first start silk screening and printing your own things? Has the process evolved for you? I had some friends that screen printed t-shirts and I knew the basic process of doing it, so one day I decided to try one myself and I fell in love with the process and results. It was like playing with stamps all over again (I played with stamps and stickers my whole childhood). Since I was self taught in a way, I didn't know what I was doing...so I started to print things a bit different, not doing the same image over and over. I got a small squeegee and I took my time printing each drawing at once and composing a different story behind each tshirt. I became a screen hoarder!, I never throw them away (unless if they're clogged but I don't let it happen much) and bring them from Brazil - i know, it's crazy! I found my happy place doing these 1/1 prints, it gives me new ideas every time I'm printing, I see new possibilities and experiment without fear, it's very calming and exciting at the same time.

How many zines have you self-published? How did you first start creating your own zine? I self published six zines so far, my intention was to publish at least one every year but I've been slacking on that goal. I had too many sketchbooks full of drawings, my friends would tell me to do something with them and I was always shy and a bit embarrassed about sharing personal things, one of my friends called me out that all I like a lot from other artists are personal and maybe embarrassing things lol.. so yeah I had no excuse anymore! Reading Jeffrey Brown, Vanessa Davis and Esther Pearl Watson really encouraged me to make my own zine at that time! They're work is very personal and it was definitely an inspiration to me!

What is it that you love so much about zine culture? I think it's a very specific kind of subject that you couldn't find anywhere else (before the internet got huge). I started reading music zines about underground indie and punk bands. I think I still see it in the same way, a place to put on specific things you don't find anywhere else. I'm really into checking out the paper and print style, small editions with something handmade or hand drawn on it always get my attention. They're hard to find these days! Fun Chicken (the online shop from Mark Todd and Esther Pearl Watson) have really cool zines and I'm always checking Fudge Factory Comics (Travis Millard's online store) cause there's always cool zines. Well everything they have is amazing!

What have been some of your favorite collaborations? What do you enjoy most about them? I collaborate a lot with my husband, he's been making art and zines for a long time too and every now and then I'll sneak one of our collabs in my zines and vice versa. It's important to have some intimacy with whoever you're collaborating with so you can say what you really think. It's fun to do it and I always learn something from the experience.

Is there a medium you want to try and haven’t? What is currently your favorite medium and why? I got a wood burner from my in-laws last christmas and I haven't tried yet, it's sitting next to me and I'm very excited to try it out.I really like painting with acrylics and india ink on wood panels, there's so many possibilities and room for trial and error.

What are your top 5 artistic influences, past and contemporary? When I saw Dan Clowes comics for the first time, it changed my life! The way he draws and portrays the world was so new but so familiar in a way... he's a huge influence to me because it sparkled my interest in expressing myself through drawing. The same happened when I first saw the art of Clayton Brothers, I realized art could be so cool!! Their paintings and drawings blew my mind, I have never seen anything like that... I remember trying to like mainstream art like Picasso and Mondrian but I truly didn't have an emotional connection to any of these guys, I knew that I felt different when I saw Clayton Brothers in the cover of Juxtapoz in 2004. It was hard to find this kind of art in Brazil, and still is! Keith Haring went to São Paulo in the 80's and painted murals, he was on the tv and I thought he was such a cool guy. My mom gave me a calendar with his drawings on it and I loved it and kept it for years! Same thing happened when I discovered Warhol, his persona was always intriguing to me and it made me like his art even more. I grew up watching and reading Peanuts, so I don't think I can leave Charles Schultz out of this list. I don't separate comics from art, they have the same impact for me. I love his ability to create his own world and still being completely relatable, it's also kind of simple but extremely complex at the same time.

There’s an autobiographical nature and intimacy to a lot of your works because they come from feelings and experiences you’ve had or gone through or thought. Can you talk a little bit of maybe you’ve used some bad experiences in your life to create art from that has been maybe therapeutic? I feel like since my first sketchbooks were sort of journal like, that I've always had this relationship with drawing and letting emotions out... and it's therapeutic, cheaper than therapy as I always say! It's hard for me sometimes to not let it out, so I don't hold back anymore. It's funny cause the more embarrassed I am of something ultra personal that I drew, the more I get people to write me and say they really liked it. My first two zines were miserably sad ("I thought it was a love story" and "Mad for Sadness") I didn't know what to do with myself so I put together a zine with all those feelings. It kept me busy, which is usually a great thing, and a few years later I got emails from these teenage high school girls from San Francisco telling me their teacher showed my zine in class (!!) and they thought it was a good way to survive a heartbreak. I thought it was so sweet! I never thought about it before, you know? Sad things will happen anyway but how you deal with them is up to you.

What common misconception do you think folks might have about being an artist or making art for a living? I think the internet makes things look easier and more glamorous than they really are. I grew up seeing cartoonists drawing and being a bit miserable like Robert Crumb. Have you seen the documentary "Crumb"? I knew it wasn't easy being him and doing what he was doing, maybe it made me have even more respect for his work. He never tried to portray any glamour about being an artist and I think it's more like the real thing. These days people don't care for struggle, they seem to always want the easy way and that's not how art goes most of the time so I think it's funny and sad in a way. People rip off your work and forget you're a human too, trying to survive in this messy world.

What do you do to overcome those days when nothing you’re making is turning out right? What do you like to do in your off time? I like to read books when I don't know what to do with myself, it helps me to shift the focus and get into something else than my own drama. It helps me with anxiety and always sparks new ideas. Going to concerts and playing drums are my other escape tools for living a better life, music is magic... the power of live music is amazing, going to concerts is one of my favorite things to do!

Tell us about your recent trip to visit Brazil. When you lived there, you used to do some events called Bendgy. Can you tell us how they came about and how your recent visit went? I lived in São Paulo for 28 years, it's a huge city with a lot of cultural things happening all the time, the pace of the city is maddening and it's hard to keep focus sometimes, but regardlessly it's where i'm from and I love it! I started throwing an art party/concerts in my apartment when I started to make tshirts around 2006-2007. It was a very low profile thing, just for friends and just for fun... i didn't wanted to reach out to places that already existed and try to sell my art because it was weird... so I started something unpretentious to do what I was doing and that's Bendgy!It was an art party with a concert Saturdays afternoon in my apartment, i would sell beers, vegan sandwiches and tshirts. A lot of my friends are musicians so I wanted to have a band and we would support each other, it started getting bigger and I was scared of the risk of being kicked out of my apartment for the loud noise and amount of people coming in...I threw a few Bendgys at my friends places and eventually my dad moved out of his house and it was empty for a while, I started throwing bigger concerts there and it was so much fun!

How is Bendgy now? I just came back from SP and it was a long process but now Bendgy is a real art space, I got a great staff and we open every Saturday! We're having an international art show called "Hit the ground running" with the art of Albert Reyes, Jason Vivona, Jeff Roysdon, Mats!?, Mildred, Michael Hsiung (you!) and myself! In addition to the art show, there's a zine/print/tshirt/stickers shop and we have more affordable things from all the artists in the show and from other great artists from the US, Argentina and Brazil. I'm stoked that it turned out the way it did! It was so much hard work putting it together, I thought I was going crazy.. i felt like Donal Duck, but it was worth it!I book every band and make almost every flyer for it, so it's like I'm there but I'm not.

During your time living in São Paulo, Brasil, what was the art scene like? It was most like an all boys club to be honest. Graffiti and pixação (São Paulo style of tagging) were the underground art that I liked but always made by guys, some really talented ones too! Like, Os Gemeos still blow my mind and were always a reference for me to what brazilian art is, even though they are more respected as artists outside Brazil. I think they're a good example, for some reason Brazil doesn't cherish their own artists until someone else says it's good. It needs a foreign stamp of approval that always made me bored about it because there's so many great artists there!

Who are some artists in Brazil you admire? and why? I love Stephan Doitschinoff's art, he creates his own world and he is very focused on being true to who he is. His work has always been an inspiration to me on how to do things, if there's not a scene for what you're doing you create the scene!

Throw a zine fest or an art party, and make no excuses for not doing things. People tend to complain there's not enough opportunities there, but i feel like it's also in our own hands to make things happen and not just wait for someone to invite you to be part of something. Jaca is another extremely talented artist living in São Paulo, he is super humble and not really into posting his art online. He doesn't need no approval or applause and I love that! He looks inside himself and his works reveal that to us, it's very inspiring! He will have a solo show at Bendgy in July and I can't wait to see what he's going to do.

When did you start your online store High in the Bay? The products on there are all hand made by you in SF? What’s it like keeping your own shop? I started High in the Bay with my husband, Mildred, when I moved to SF in 2010 to make it up for the fact that I couldn't do a Bendgy here (i would have been evicted right away) so we did an online store.We do carry zines from other artists that we like and sometimes we make collaborative zine packs so people get to know other things than our own work, they get to see what we like! I brought some books, prints and zines from an amazing artist from Argentina called Tomás Spicolli, his work has been a big influence to me so I was very happy to have his art at Bendgy and soon at High in the Bay. It's important to learn to manage something even if it's an online shop, so then you get the grip of it and can do things better in the future, I used to work at Needles and Pens and I learned a lot from them on how to do things, it really helped me when I was doing Bendgy and High in the Bay.

You done a lot of cool art for bands! What has been your favorite collaboration? Thanks, man! I have to say I've been lucky to have worked with cool people, like I told before the Polara album cover was a cool one, it's coming out sometime this year in Brazil. All the bands were really cool to me and we became friends, I did a tshirt design for Josh Berwanger Band a few years ago, it had a funny request "draw Patrick Swayze in Road House"! And there was another album cover i did for Swivs that was so much fun to do, his music is so good!!

Give us your top 5 bands or tunes while creating? How does music influence your art? I'm very into the new Afghan Whigs album called "In Spades", and all their music really. It's one of my favorite bands ever, I have drawn so many of their lyrics consciously and unconsciously!I just came back from a concert last night in Oakland from another favorite of mine, The Magnetic Fields. They're great and i came back from Brazil earlier just to see them, love everything that Stephin Merritt does, forever and ever.I'm very into the same bands for the longest time, I love the Ramones, Pulp, Os Mutantes, Cypress Hill, Tupac, Jonathan Richman, Spaceman 3... my music taste is all over the place!Music is a major influence to me, since I was a kid my best friend was not my pen but my radio.

What are your favorite Vans? how would you describe your personal style?Ok, there was a limited edition Lo Pros Saddle shoes that was SO cool! I have a photo of me wearing it, cause i wore it all the time! I'm a Hi Top girl, black and white or just white ones, love those!

What’s the best and worse advice you’ve gotten about art? Best advice is to work hard and be true to yourself, sounds cliche but it's the truth.Worse advice is when people told me I had to go to art school, it might work for some people but it wasn't for me...

What’s on the horizon for the rest of 2017? There's one big project that i'm super excited about but can't talk about it yet... And there will be lots and lots of cool art and live music happening at Bendgy!

Follow Pacolli Website: http://www.pacollipacolli.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/pacollionline Shop:https://highinthebay.bigcartel.com Bendgy: www.instagram.com/bendgysp

#Art #Sketchy Behavior #Interview #vans art #Pacolli #San Francisco #bay area art #vans girls

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cautious-adventure · 8 years ago

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1 to 104 HENNY

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? -Probably just ask how the fuck that happened 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?-He went back home? We are friends I guess3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?-it depends on the drug like weed isnt a dealbreaker but meth is4. Is your last name longer than six letters?-yep5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?-Drunk6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?-nope because I am an underachiever 7. What does your last received text say?-no8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?-once9. Where was your last kiss at?-the basement of my friends condo10. When is the last time you saw your sister?-like an hour ago11. What do you drink in the morning?-iced tea or juice12. Where did you sleep last night?-in my own bed13. Do you think relationships are hard?-probably 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?-yeah I would not have gone to my last college 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?-nope 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?-i feel dead inside right now so rainy17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?-i know people with the white version of my middle name 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?-pj pants 19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?-probably 20. Does anyone like you?-not that i'm aware of21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?-nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?-it was a gay dude23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?-oh yeah24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?-I actually really want a couple but I have to wait until I move out25. In the past week have you cried?-bitch please i've cried in the last hour26. What breed was the last dog you saw? -it was a poodle mixed with something27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?-out of the shower28. Have you ever kissed a football player?-i kissed a guy that used to play football29. Do you think you’re old?-no30. Do you like text messaging?-yes i wish people would text me more but i suck at replying 31. What type of day are you having?-a boring one32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?-ugh I want to do that too but my job doesnt allow it 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?-i like cool weather like the Fall34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?-no35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?-either would be fine36. Are you a simple or complicated person?-im borh37. What song are you listening to?-caroline by aminé38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?-As a rule I ONLY say sorry when I mean it39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?-I think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?-I dont like anyone ATM41. When did you last receive a text message?-yesterday at almost 8pm42. What is wrong with you right now?-anxiety43. How well do you know the last female you texted?-i've known her for 2 maybe 3 years44. Does anyone disgust you?-donald trump45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?-it all depends on who they are46. Are you in a good mood right now?-not at all47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?-my mom48. What color shirt are you wearing?-solid black49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?-my sister told me she liked it better when i was gone50. Anyone you’re giving up on?-not yet51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?-a bit52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?-no i usually just tell them to fuck off53. Do you like rain?-to a degree54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?-as long as its not hurting anyone i dont55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?-everybody56. Do you like to cuddle?-yes cuddles are nice57. Are you shy?-im not shy as much as able to readily trust people58. Do you get along with girls?-quite well i think59. Have you dated the person you texted last?-oh my god no60. What do you carry with you at all times?-phone,house key, wallet61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?-it depends on what its haunted with because i dont fuck with demons62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?-how hard can it be63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?-I had a thing with a guy idk if that counts64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?-no65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?-no66. How old are the last three people you kissed?-19-18-16?67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? -i dont like getting my nails done so neither 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? -both of those are gaudy as hell69. Do you have any stickers on your car? -no but i also dont own a car yet70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? -Lil wayne for sure71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? -iphone72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? -december73. Do you like diet soda? -nope it tastes weird74. What color are the walls in your room? -bluish green75. Are you 16 or older? -older76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? -i used to77. Do you have a job? -yes i work in fast food 78. What are your initials? -ca79. Did you ever have braces? -for like a year80. Are you from the south? -no way81. What does your last status on facebook say? -i dont use facebook82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? -we are friends 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? -my mom84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? -i did gymnastics but couldnt take it seriously 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? -Moana86. Do you smoke? -no sir87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? -flippy floppies88. Is your phone touch screen? -of course, its not the middle ages89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? -its usually in a braid90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? -my house creaks too much for that reckless white people shit91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? -any of those is fun92. Have you ever made out in a car? -nope93. …Had sex in a car? -hell no94. Are you single or in a relationship? -single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? -scrolling through the tumbla96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? -new years eve97. Do you like the camera on your phone? -i wish it was better but it does its job98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? -nope99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? -never100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? -no101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? -lollll no102. Name your favorite Kesha song: -either Take it off or Your love is my drug 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? -nope I am all pale again104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? -dear lord NO

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pisati · 5 years ago

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I don’t remember too much about my birthday last year, besides having to work and mom taking me out to the cat cafe and the brewery. but despite having a pandemic birthday it was actually pretty nice.

I finally got 3 days off in a row. I did tell my friend Cassidy that I’d help them take their stuff to the UPS store to ship it back to CA, but I honestly thought it would only take part of the day. I didn’t mind grabbing lunch and also staying for dinner, but I didn’t really want to have to be driving all over that part of the DC area all day. which was what happened. I didn’t end up getting home til 1am, and while I DID tell them I could help, it kind of felt like a wasted day. wasn’t really an off-day. BUT Cassidy did cover all my food, got me a lovely birthday cake, and gave me some coloring book-style postcards and a little stuffed brain cell. plus a literal fuckton of crafting supplies they didn’t feel like hauling back to CA. I asked how much they’d want for it; they did say I could just have it but seriously that haul has got to be worth at least $150. there were 6 bottles of resin/hardener and those ALONE have got to be worth $80 at a minimum. they said they’d just ask $40 and like... shit, sure. that’s a goddamn steal.

they also sold me their 4x4 ikea kallax shelf; I remember helping them put it together when they first moved to MD. we took it apart and I had my brother come over sunday to help me carry the pieces upstairs. then put it together entirely by myself, which... I probably shouldn’t have done? I made it work, but that shit is Heavy and also very difficult to put together on your own. even the manual says you should have two people. every muscle in my upper body is incredibly sore now, and I managed to bruise both arms in multiple places (not even doing anything seriously injurious, I’m just an overripe banana). but in making room for it in my living room I rearranged the couches, relocated all my yarn to the new shelf from my old craft shelves (and it took up 12/16 of the cubes 🙃), re-sorted and organized the remaining craft shelves, took the two 1x3 shelves up to the rats’ room (and now they’re being used as towel storage), and actually cleaned up my living room area. my dining room table is sewing-machine-free for the first time since march. I just moved it to the craft shelves, and now I actually have the room there for the machine to just sit. the accessories have their own shelf bin.

mom wanted to do dinner sunday night instead of today, and I guess that was okay. but it didn’t leave me much down time since I spent all day cleaning and organizing. but it was nice anyway. I got home and mom had blown up some balloons, and she had RHCP playing all evening. I’d requested homemade mac & cheese rather than noodles & co this year, and she found a pretty good recipe. she also made a cinnamon sugar doughnut bundt cake, which was good, though maybe a little dry. but served with ice cream it was better. mom told me she had another piece today and it was more moist today somehow.

mom and my brother had ordered me a bunch of things off my crafting wishlist on amazon, and those had come in during the week. my brother ordered the animal keychain molds, a mica powder dye set, black/white alcohol inks, and a silicone mold kit. mom got me a coaster mold set, another resin/hardener set, and a bunch of the sandpaper with the different grits that I really needed. I was kind of surprised she’d ordered me more things, since she already got me the huge rat cage. and she even told me today I should be getting another coaster set tomorrow, this one with 4 of the same size; the other one she ordered had 4 or 5 round molds but they were all different sizes. I can still make coasters with them, but the biggest one is small-tray sized and the smallest one is like... coin-sized, honestly. it’s tiny. and I can only make one at a time, so a set of 4 of the same size would take 4 days at a bare minimum; longer than that possibly if I were doing layers that needed to cure first. so with a set of 4 I can whip up a whole set at once.

mom’s boyfriend got me things too, which was super nice of him. they saved it for the dinner night, so I got to open it there. he got me a geode coaster mold, the set of animal butt shaker molds I put on my wishlist kind of as a joke, but also I thought they were silly and adorable. I’m so excited to make those little shakers. also got a set of 3 trinket box molds with molds for the lids, and a little bag of snake charms I’d added so I could use the charms for mold-making; I could make my own little snake charm earrings!

so yesterday was a long day. and then I slept like garbage and woke up early this morning, but I at least got a few things done before Charlotte came over. we planned on a lazy day but since I’d wanted to make yesterday my craft day and never got around to it, I wanted to do that today. Charlotte I guess didn’t have the same idea, but she’d brought her laptop so she could play this video game she and her brother and husband and so on had played together. we ordered five guys for lunch, which is always nice. she brought me homemade cinnamon sugar cupcakes, and gave me a hand mixer, a few bath bombs, and some face masks as a birthday gift. she was right, I really do need my own hand mixer, ha.

I finally got to work on my silicone molds, and it was super messy. I didn’t realize how much worse it would be than resin. but I tried my best to mix it well. I’d accidentally bought a $25 kit at michael’s a few weeks ago, because I’d picked it up from a clearance section and wanted to price check but forgot and forgot it was in my basket when I checked out; didn’t even realize I’d bought it until I was already back in my car looking into the bag. oops. but I ended up using the whole thing. and I had planned to make a crochet hook mold, so I was excited to try it. mom gave me an old tennis ball can that I cut up, and I used hot glue to seal it and position the hooks. I felt SO bad that it used up almost all of the silicone kit my brother got me; that shit is NOT cheap. and I was terrified I didn’t stir it well enough or mix the parts well enough because that would’ve been such a waste. but I demolded it after the few hours’ cure time and it came out beautifully. I cut slits in it with an xacto knife, so that way I can at least coax the hooks out more easily when I go to demold. it did seem like kind of a waste of a lot of the silicone, since I didn’t use up all the space, but hopefully I can sell enough crochet hook sets that I can maybe buy myself more. I’m nervous about those pours, because they’re not going to be easy, but I’m also excited bc I have a gorgeous, usable mold, and I got a ton of resin for [almost] free that I can experiment with.

after that I finally got around to some of the resin I’ve been meaning to do. my friend in PA requested some resin earrings; she’s bought so many masks off my etsy for herself and family that after this last order I offered her a resin or crochet thing at no charge. so I’ve got to do some moon earrings; too bad I don’t have more than one moon mold. also my brother babysat some kids the last few weeks of summer and he’d taken them out to gather wildflowers for me to put into resin, so I offered to make them little resin keychains. I got little transparent letter stickers, and I’m super glad they worked as well as they did; the transparent stickers don’t show their borders in the resin so it almost looks like the letters are printed in it. I decided to make letter keychains with each of their initials, and I spelled their names with stickers in the letters. for the girl’s keychain, I added some of the flowers. I’m not sure what to put in the boys’ keychains quite yet. I’m told they’re harry potter fans, so maybe I’ll do some kind of transparent blue with gold glitter or maybe star glitter or something. I also had leftover colored resin from the moon mold so I added them to the J for my mom. nothing like the scramble for appropriately-sized molds when you’ve got extra resin. I also made another set of cat earrings, and I’ll see how those end up. I tried a drop of gold alcohol ink, and hopefully the white helped it sink. otherwise I’ve just got some weird looking cat earrings.

(update, they turned out weird. gold doesn’t sink :/)

---

I wasn’t quite ready to go back to work today. I had a pretty good weekend, all said. don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do. but I feel like I need another gap year. I just want to stop existing for a while. stop having to go out and be around other people. having to talk to other people, all day almost every day. I’m tired. my brain is tired. my last gap year didn’t help with that, so I’m not sure how much good another one would do me. but I just... I need a damn break.

I have another therapy appointment tomorrow. it may end up being my last one for a while. I already can’t really afford the copay, and I’m switching insurance to one she doesn’t take. my credit card bill this month is incredibly painful. not going to be too upset at not having to spend almost $100 a week to just ramble to someone I barely know. she’s pointed out a few things to me that I didn’t really notice I do, which is nice. but is it worth $400 a month? not right now. not when I’m about to lose my insurance and have to pay for my own. my rent is already half my pay, and now I’m going take a pay cut of somewhere around $100 a month for fucking health insurance. I hate this. I fucking hate the concept of health insurance. insurance in and of itself isn’t bad; property insurance is helpful. but having to pay money for other people to pay money for your healthcare? and you still have to hit a deductible somewhere in the thousands before insurance will even start covering your shit. and even then they can decline coverage or only cover parts of your expenses. literally what is the point

back to worrying I guess.

I’ve started a kind of ridiculous undertaking at work as a side project, now that I’m done scanning all the files that were up front. I printed out the list of all the clients in our system that had physical folders, and I’m going through the scanned records and making sure the active ones have new client paperwork and the hours disclosure attached. the head receptionist asked me to start with the ones my former coworker had scanned in, and there are a lot of disclosures missing. some are missing both. I don’t know if he just didn’t scan them or if they didn’t have them at all or what. but I’ve been putting alerts in charts so people know that they need to give the forms to the clients when they come in. we had one client get kind of mad that he’s been coming to us for 10-some years and didn’t want to fill out the paperwork again, even after we clarified it was for our records and for legal reasons. but whatever.

I don’t know how many physical folders there were, but the list is very long. the folders go from 0 to somewhere in the 8000s I believe, but thankfully a lot are missing. missing as in possibly inactive, so there might only actually be 1000-2000 or so. but I’m going through every single one of them. I made myself a little system with highlighter colors: yellow means the client is active and they need something filled out (and I mark on the sheet what they need), purple means they’ve been seen within 3 years but more than 1 year ago, and they need to fill out something, pink mens inactive, and orange is kind of a catch-all for things like active clients who have recently moved (not sure whether to mark those as inactive). so far, since starting this a week or so ago, I’ve managed to get through 4 pages and a little bit on a 5th. many, many more to go.

the head vet wants to turn the back room into a little employee lounge area of some sort, but we want to get rid of those shelves first too. which means I have 2 big shelves of folders left before I’m officially done. thankfully the files in the back should *mostly* be clients that are inactive, but I still have to go through all of them to make sure. I know I’ve gone back there a number of times to find a folder for an active client because I wasn’t sure whose phone number was whose and I knew it would be in the record.

---

I’ve been writing this post over the last two nights but I keep falling asleep while I’m writing. I did a lot more resin stuff last night, so I ended up going to bed pretty late. I wanted to finish up those keychains but I’m bad at gauging how much resin I’ll need for things so I ended up with a lot of random extra pours. I’m excited about a few of them; I poured a few into the new molds I made so I’m looking forward to seeing how those turn out.

not really sure where I was going with this. not really sure where I’m going in general. I’m just going. trying to keep up with work, trying to remember doctor appointments. trying to keep the rats happy and as healthy as I can get them, trying not to let the cat get on my nerves too much. trying to do crafts. trying to remember to talk to people, but I don’t know. I feel lonely sometimes but since I’ve been working so much I kind of just want to be alone. I don’t have the energy for conversations a lot of the time.

---

hm. maybe another post for therapy thoughts. I was asked to think about a few things.

#fdhsjkh

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trash-binn · 7 years ago

Text

Extras! (a treehouse):

The night after a party where everyone had a little too much to drink

You wake up with a pounding headache to the sounds of construction

You go downstairs and see Dean outside in your backyard carrying... bundles of wood?

"Dean what the hell are you doing?"

"I told Laila and Simon about treehouses and they both said they wanted one and when i told them no, Laila started crying"

"...so?"

"So... now I'm making a treehouse."

"Dean what the hell? This is my backyard you can't just build stuff in MY backyard!"

"Sam said it was okay!"

"Wh-!" You turn to see Sam drilling together the skeleton of the treehouse

He turns and smiles and waves when he sees you

The building of the treehouse was a huge bonding experience for Dean and Sam

They would spend the whole day on weekends working on it and the work defined Sam's muscled and tanned him up

Your nights and free time become full of a LOT more time alone with Sam

Jack became curious about the power tools so Sam showed him a couple things

Cas was worried Dean would hurt himself so Dean showed him that it really wasn't that complicated

Laila just wanted to smash things so Sam showed them how to use a hammer

Simon was scared of all the loud noises so Jack showed them it wasn't all that scary

Slowly, little by little, everyone put in some effort to build the treehouse

Sam did most of the sawing with the power tools while you and the kids did a lot of the hammering

The painting was arguably the best part for everyone though

Cas enjoyed painting

Dean enjoyed watching him

Jack liked making different animals and plants with all the bright colors

Laila and Simon (somehow) found glow in the dark paint online and Sam (obviously) ordered it for them

Mary painted stars and planets on the ceiling inside of it with the glow in the dark paint

Sam painted the far wall white and insisted that everyone who came in would write their names on it in sharpie

Before all the painting was done, a paint war broke out (of course) from Sam rolling a paint roller full of paint on your back

Simon placed his hand on the floor of the entrance during all the commotion, leaving behind a sky blue hand print

They gasped and everyone went quiet

Big alligator tears welled up in their eyes

Before any tears could fall, Sam quickly covered his hand in paint and placed his hand on the wall next to Simon's hand print, leaving behind his own (much bigger) green handprint

Laila did the same in purple to the left of Simon's

Mary did one in pink

You did one in red next to Sam's

Dean did one in blue

Cas did one in green

Jack did one in orange

You all smiled at eachother

Once the paint had dried, you all decorated like crazy

Laila put up all the stickers they collected

Simon put their rocks collection in the bench

Mary installed cushions on one side of the bench

Someone brought in a beanbag and a box of blankets

Sam brought in battery powered fairy lights

With everyone working, it was finished

Everyone signed their name when they were done (Laila's was the biggest of course, Cas's was in calligraphy bc he's a showoff)

You all sat and enjoyed the space of it, drinking hot cocoa and relaxed knowing all your hard work was over

During the summers, Jack would go up there with Laila and Simon and put on puppet shows

Dean would tell them scary stories when they would camp up there

Sam would bring them blankets and read them books as they went to sleep in their sleeping bags

They would fall asleep looking at the stars Mary drew

It became a good place to sit and read and just enjoy the peace and quiet

Everyone got a little smile everytime they looked at it

It reminded everyone they had family

That they had a home

Headcanons about being married to Sam and living a domestic life with your two kids Laila and Simon

You would have a huge backyard with a big pool and a big tree for a swing

You would all swim in your pool as soon as it got hot enough to

Surprisingly, your dog would jump in without a fear and splash all of you

You would sit outside together in the evening watching the stars and making smores with Laila and Simon

When they were in bed, you and Sam would have some beers and get all giggly and then stumble up to your room as quietly as possible

You would wake up in the morning to Sam pushing your hair out of your face and kissing your cheek

He would smile down at you and you’d pull him down for a kiss

Your dog would jump on the bed just as soon as things were getting heated

Sam would make breakfast for you and the kids before you headed to drop them off at school and then go to work

The lunches he made for you would always have a little note inside saying something sweet or to make you laugh

Dean and Cas would come visit every other weekend or so

Dean would play video games with Laila and Cas would teach Simon to knit

Jack and Mary would come over at least once a month (Mary would make sure that Cas and Dean would be there when they visited so you would all be together)

Dean would man the barbeque while Cas pretended to help (god knows he can barely use a microwave without catching it on fire)

Sam and Mary would make the salad, potatoes, biscuits, steamed vegetables, and fried mushrooms (for dean’s steak)

Sam would watch with laser focus as Mary taught him her own recipe for homemade pie

Laila and Simon would teach Jack to use the juice machine and would make lemonade with him

Then they’d take Jack outside to play with the dog and swim in the pool

You and Cas would join them

Dean would end up burning a burger from watching Cas

Sam would burn Dean’s mushrooms from watching you

Dean would make a fuss about there being “too many vegetables on the table” but would eat them anywase because Sam worked hard on them

Mary would ask Dean and Cas when they were gonna give her a grandkid (just to get a laugh out of Cas and to see Dean turn bright red)

Sam would ask Dean to pass the rolls and he would wink at Laila and then toss one at Sam’s head

Sam would throw one back and accidentally hit Cas in the eye

Cas would throw one back and miss horribly, hitting you, turning it into a full out food war

After the food war, you’d go outside for some of Mary’s pie and beers

Your dog fast asleep in a food coma from eating the left overs of the food war

Jack and Dean would tell Laila and Simon stories and put on hand puppet shows

Cas would read them a story in the book room that would put them (and Dean) to sleep

Sam and you would wake Laila and Simon to say goodbye to everyone before carrying them off to bed and tucking them in

You would hug everyone and send them home with left overs and a promise to see eachother soon

That night, Sam would hold your hand and smile at how perfect everything was

How perfectly you fit into his family

How happy he was with you and Laila and Simon

You’re happy too

#sam x reader #supernatural #sam winchester #sam winchester headcanons #sam laila and simon #laila and simon #my headcanons #mine

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