#STOP THIS WIP LITERALLY SUCKS GO LOOK AT MY OTHER STUFF

[chaox1k]

Vaguely Y2K Reimu

I’ve been on an Akatsuki records kick and I think I’m gonna draw yukari cause of the recent song the released (ik it’s been like a month idc)

[chaoticallyfluffy]

Introduction + My Shazam Masterlist!

Welcome to my blog! My name is Fluffy!

I am an artist and fan fiction writer who mostly focuses on one fandom at a time. My current obsession is Shazam!

My second blog is @fawcetttweets where I post Tweets from the DC universe, focusing on the daily lives of Fawcett City’s heroes and civilians!

My banner was created by @chocolatebriosh during art fight! The characters are my OCs :)

You can find me on TikTok and Ao3 with the username ChaoticallyFluffy or by using the links!

I tried my best to make it chronological with the oldest on top and the newest on the bottom, so if my early stuff sucks, feel free to skip to the bottom of each section!

In order I have my ficlets, fan art, animatics, and misc (mostly add-ons to other posts or tiny ideas that are too short to put into ficlets)!

The characters involved in the posts will be next to each link! Billy and Captain Marvel will just be called Billy unless they are specifically separate beings in the post.

Masterlist begins under the cut :)

Where'd he go? (Billy, JL)

Curses! (Billy, Mr. Mind, JL)

Identical (Billy, Mary, JL)

Whats in a Last Name? (Billy, JL, Batfam)

Billy Being a Menace (Billy, Bruce Wayne)

Lies and Half Truths (Billy, Danny Phantom, JL)

Ah, a Child (Billy, JL)

Power of Perception (Billy, JL)

Doomed by the Narrative + Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Billy, JL)

The Homeless Boy and Nepo Baby (Billy, Bruce Wayne)

Two Halves, Never Whole (Billy, Jason Blood, Marvel, Etigran)

Blissful Ignorance (Billy, JL)

Blunder + Look at this! (Billy, Marvel, Shazamily,

Billy Batfam (Billy, Batfam)

Silly Billy + Pocket Home (Billy, JL, Shazamily)

What are you, a cop? + Now you see me, now you don't (Billy, JL)

Gender Swap! (Billy, Freddy)

Learning to Live (Billy, JL)

Stop Calling Me Dad! (Billy, Shazamily, JL)

Matchmaking (Billy, Diana, Gay animals)

'Tis but a scratch! (Billy, JL)

Tea With Persephone (Billy, Persephone)

Home Alone (Billy, Sivana, Shazamily)

Marvel Licks Cocaine. Wait, wha- (Billy, JL)

Body Swap (Billy, Marvel)

Parent Trap (Billy, Mary, CC, Marilyn)

Serious Accusations (Tawky Tawny, Billy, JL)

Celebrity Lifestyle (JL, Billy)

Warrior Cats (Freddy)

JL as platonic Soulmates (Billy, JL)

Swear Jar (Billy, Shazamily)

Sibling Fights (Freddy, Billy, Mary, Red Robin)

Three Kids in a Trench Coat (Billy, Mary, Freddy, JL)

Clothes (Billy, Mary, CC, Marilyn, JL)

Dead name, literally (Billy, Gay people)

Unicorns! (Billy)

No Longer 2 in 1 (Billy, other)

Magical Garbage Disposal (Billy, superman, batman)

Hot to Go! (Mary, JL, Billy)

Impromptu Tour (Billy, Batman, JL)

First Shazam Fan Art! Learning to Live outfits (Billy)

False Advertising (Billy)

The Duality of Marvel (Billy, Marvel)

Skill Issue (Freddy, Billy, JL)

Stock Photos (Billy, Marvel, C!Tommyinnit)

It's not you, its him (Billy, a random small child)

Closet Cosplay (Billy, Freddy, kind of Superman and Batman)

Experimental style (Billy)

If your reading this, i still haven't used the stickers. (Billy, Marvel)

*Pats him* *pats him* *pats hi- (Billy)

Whiteboard with friends! (Billy, Mary, Freddy, + more)

Billy Ratson (Billy, Marvel)

Bored (Billy)

Magical Girl Black Adam (Black Adam)

Sunny Sparkles (Sunny)

Ghost Boy! (Billy)

Gartic phone highlights pt. 1 (many characters!)

Tiger Bleps! (Tawky Tawny, Billy)

FREDDY!! (Billy, Marvel, Freddy)

Figurine Size Matters (Technically Batman and Billy)

Surprise! (Billy, JL)

Magical Girl?! (Billy, Barry, Poorly Drawn Evil Wizard)

Home (Billy)

Everyone Loves the Boy! (Harley Quinn, Billy)

Nails, nails, nails (Billy, Divine Twitch Chat, JL)

Stop. (Billy)

*Pats him* *pats him* *pats hi- (Billy)

My first Shazam post!

He needs more love :( (Kind of Billy)

Link to 'Kill him with kindness' fic

Asking for Eldritch Ideas (Billy kind of. Interesting comments!)

Zoooom! (Freddy, Billy, Batmans limitless funds)

Happiness (Billy)

Wip game (Billy, Clark)

Chaos boys (Billy, Klarion)

Link to 'Picture Day' fic (Billy, Cissie)

The first idea for Fawcetttweets! (Billy)

Marvel's Adventure! (Billy)

Peak Billy Design (Billy)

MY Boy! (Billy technically)

Talking about my fics release

Venn diagram (Billy, C!Tommyinnit, and Dave Strider)

DND (none technically)

Charlie (Billy, CC, Batman)

WIP Tag Game (Billy, Clark, Barry, Victor, Hal)

Implications (Billy)

Laws (Fawcett)

Link to my fanfiction called 'Bugs' (Billy)

Symptoms (Billy)

Fae (Billy)

Gotta Go Fast (Billy)

Tummy ache :( (Billy)

Migraine Posting part whatever (who cares why am I writing this with a migraine this was a horrible idea)

Here’s some of my original content! I don’t really make much of it but I thought I should at least give you the option to see it :)

OC art:

First Date (Valley, Roxy)

[oswanily]

Simblr New Years Resolutions 2024

I was tagged by @kissalopa, thanks darling!

What’s your Resolution for your Simblr?

First I would like to actually play the game so I have posts to queue, finally get through the two households I have left for rotation 9 of my BACC, and go back to the UDC for a while! That is my main goal, even though it's short term, i struggle envisioning long term goals right now. Also, I wish to reopen sims submissions for the BACC some time during this year. Also also. Post CC. Not regularly, just post the 50 wips i have completed. Also-also-also continue the "5 favorites" series. I hate tracking down CC, so I keep postponing it. I need to stop doing that.

What do you want from the Sims Franchise?

Fairies. Dunno what I'd do with them. I probably couldn't even get the pack because my laptop has no space left (it literally only has sims related stuff on it and my writing projects) so... yeah.

Any other New Years Resolutions?

Survive this damn year which started awfully bad. I moved three weeks ago, I haven't even settled in, and I will have to move again in less than six months due to the housing agency sucking at their jobs. This basically postpones all my plans (I am looking for a job but how do you find a job when you don't drive and don't know where you'll live...) and it's stressful and annoying. So my goal is to settle into the second new apartment that I haven't even found yet, and find a job if I can, but if I fail to all of this, oh well.

I don't know who has done this... so I won't tag anyone, but if you see this and really want to do it, feel free to say I tagged you (nobody will go and check anyways, that would be weird lmao)

[anymal28]

@bonesby I probably did this wrong, but here ya go

🎱 - 0, I literally have no finished works to even post

🍓 - I have not posted any works yet. But basically no one was writing the stories I was looking for. I also have great ideas and suck at making characters for said ideas.

🌵 - Might be my own👀 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OueUGpDtDuRAFljBrZJtn?si=Moy5y7aRSguNXYxFoQpDaA&pi=u-JFkaI__xQo2Y

🕯 - Friends works: 9/10. I like helping them out and being one of the first to read their works, plus they're both stupid good at writing

My Works: 2/10, I'm my own worst enemy. I recently went back to edit a wip and am very close to deleting the whole thing and rewriting it.

🛼 - 🔫🗡🔪🥷💣

🥑 - @bonesby & @louisapennyfeather2021

🥤- 0KKULTiC : We Would Be Savage series on ao3

inexperiencedandconfused8 on ao3

GoAwayOlivia : Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw on ao3

I have many suggestions

💌 - 0 actually

🌻 - Literally anyone who follows me

🐇 - If yall ever catch me writing reader inserts, just know I did it as a joke and Hell must've froze over

🧃 - I am asthmatic

🎲 - Lack of motivation

🍄 - NOT A SHIP, but Dick Grayson 100% eats cheerios by picking them up with his tongue and Jason hardcore judges him for it even tho Jason does the same thing with chips cause he refuses to get his fingers cheesy.

🧸 - Talk to me and dont stop talking to me no matter how awkward things get. I'm very bad at keeping up communications.

🪐 - One of my goats finally had her babies, I finally get to bring my other goat home from the hospital, I dont have to bottle feed anything yet.

📚 - This prompt

🍬 - I'm not educated enough for this

🔪 - The explicit details on the different sections of the human spine and how all of them function and which parts of the body would be affected depedning on which part of the spine was damaged. Also retail store security tags.

🦷 - You can only heat something up twice before it starts to make you sick

❄️ - Literally anything found family, I'm such a sucker for that. Anyone could write it good honestly.

🌿 - Change the space you're writing in. If you're writing in your bedroom, go to a different room. Change up the environment.

🥐 - "crazy, I was crazy once..."

🏜 - Have not received any cause have not posted any

🍦 - I GUESS he is loyal, he got better at communicating, and hes not AS horrible as before

🥝 - Not really, its more of a waste of breath to lie a lot. I did lie to my Grandpa about my goat's vet bill

🦋 - The fucking quote of "Farming teaches you how to be totally responsible and completely useless"

🦴 - Literally anything found family. Im a sucker for that

🍅 - The character's responses and reactions need to change and be more thought out for the scene. It doesn't match who they are. The entire situation is written okay, but definitely not the best and can be improved.

🐚 - In story writing, surprises are great. Irl, no.

🪲 - [ Hiding and watching in the shadows of the setting sun, he could make Alchemy, Arachne, and Wendigo. With the sight of them came another pang of worry. Who would help heal them when they got injured on patrol? Granted all of them were very careful, but slip ups happen. There were one or two other vigilantes and allies that could help, but he worried they wouldn’t be able to do much when it came to the bigger, more serious stuff. And Arachne? He hoped she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Maybe Alchemy could keep a close eye on her. ]

☁️ - Literally the name I've had since the dawn of time. Its just a play on the word "animal".

🐝 - @bonesby : the bestest person someone could have in their life. Literally you have not won anything if you dont have someone like them.

@louisapennyfeather2021 : Everyone needs someone like them in their corner. They're like the devil on my shoulder except they're constantly trying to keep me from doing dumb shit.

🌸 - Too many. Pics below. In order: Dakota, Charlie, Octavian, Augustus, Tommy, Dillion, Ponk, Maverick, Nora, Oakapi. I have more goats if anyone's interested💀

🎨 - I dont even have any rn, I wouldn't be able to find the ones I used to love, but I know it was Percy Jackson.

🧩 - A lot. Specifically certain smut tags. Porn without plot. Too many smut tags. Incest. There's a lot, and I usually dont know until I see it

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats  🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

[laikaflash]

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I know I mentioned this one months back, but the inciting incident for Tiger in a Fox Den was supposed to hinge on Mitsurugi still having a Soul Edge shard... Until I checked his SC4 storyline and saw that I forgot the thing literally FLEW AWAY in the prologue. So there went that. What sucked at the time was that I already had this tentative summary for the fic in my notes:

Having returned to Japan too late for the Battle of Sekigahara, Mitsurugi must adapt to a new era. For want of mercenary work, he gets by on a modest rice farm in Bizen, but he still holds a shard of the cursed sword to show for his journey. The shard attracts the attention of the Fu-Ma clan, and the very woman who pursued him over foreign lands offers him a challenge that will entwine them further than either would anticipate. For this, he must venture into the heart of Fu-Ma territory, and the trust of one ninja is not easily gained, let alone a whole village...

This was from the "throwing stuff and see what sticks" stage and it shows. I don't even remember what the challenge was supposed to be. By April, I was kicking around the idea of the swordsman claiming to Mitsurugi's eight brother (calling him Hachirou), which conveniently gave me a substitute catalyst for the whole thing. So, now the story kicks off with that guy showing up seven years early.

Also, conveniently enough, Mino and Ōmi Provinces (today's Gifu and Shiga Prefectures, respectively) were right next to each other, so putting Mitsurugi in Sekigahara not long after the battle puts him much closer to Fu-Ma territory. >:D

I'll close this with a snippet to give an idea of what I have planned:

Deep in a bamboo forest was a shrine that one would only find by a faded trail. This meandering dirt trail was narrower in parts, as though the grass was closing in. As the evening sun shone through the towering bamboo, Mitsurugi shaded his eyes with his hand and strode onward. A torii gate loomed ahead and he felt his skin prickle. His every instinct told him that someone’s eyes were on him, and he hoped it was so. He stopped well away from the torii and looked around in disbelief. There was almost a ring of weathered torii with stone lanterns in between. Completing the circle was a cave that seemed to have erupted from the flat ground, flanked by a pair of five-tiered stone pagodas connected by a hempen rope before the gaping mouth. Mitsurugi turned toward the sound of running feet. He stood alert, with one hand on his sword’s hilt, and slowly drew back as he spotted a blur of red. The kunoichi stopped at arm’s length from him, poised to draw the kodachi at her shoulder. Her eyes had the glint of a blade mid-draw. “Stop right there,” she snarled. “Get away from the shrine.” “It’s been a while, Taki,” Mitsurugi coolly said. “Did you miss tracking me down?” The kunoichi stood tense, ready to pounce. “It’s hard to miss when you’re the talk of every tavern in the province.” “Oh, already? I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the lout who’s been following me.” “Still picking fights?” Mitsurugi shook his head. “Not me, him. Some nobody who dares to call himself my eighth brother. If he’s going to keep it up, I’ll drag him over to the graveyard at my old village by his hair and show him.” His free hand balled into a fist. Taki stood back, her eyes widening. “I might’ve heard of him.” Mitsurugi relaxed and carefully took his hand away from his sword. “Good. As a matter of fact, I have one thing to ask of you. Since you’ve tracked me halfway across the world before, could you track down my so-called ‘eighth brother’?” “For what?” “Anything. I don’t care if someone put him up to it or he’s a retainer with a grudge. I want answers before I cut him down.” Taki quickly looked him over. “Not so fast, Mitsurugi. I have other responsibilities, but maybe I could help you.”

It was either this or an entire junk document's worth of stuff I scrapped from THAHS.

[survivingnightbyday]

I was told to write my WIP. Here, take my just over a thousand words thingy. (Part One) @lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks (here's the first part of context for the OP marvel crossover thingy)

____

Danny is in the hallways when he gets stopped by the ever familiar pull on his senses. Not the kind of “there’s a ghost nearby” pull, but rather in a “someone’s summoning a ghost and it’s you” pull.

That’s one of the issues with being half-ghost. He could literally be summoned by any halfwit smart enough to somehow find an actual ghost-summoning circle-spell-whatever. He was lucky enough that it only happened twice before.

The good thing was that he had enough time to grab Tucker, who had conveniently been walking with him to their next class, duck out of the hallways, and whisper, “Cover me-” before disappearing.

Distantly, Danny felt kinda bad for Tucker, but he was a bit more busy with being spat out in ghost form on someone’s floor.

Being summoned sucked. Especially when he, Danny, was being Danny Fenton rather than being Danny Phantom, because something forced him to change into ghost form, and that always added to the general disorientation that came from being in one place to nowhere to somewhere.

As soon as the world stopped flashing and he could steady himself, he noticed the room first and the circle second. It was well-lit with warm lights set on the walls near the ceiling, most of it being wood a bit close together. There were glass displays that seemed to have weird artifacts like old papers and swords, and a stairway that led down. There was also a huge window that looked a lot like the inside of a clock.

The energy swirling in the place reminded him very vividly of Clockwork. Although he knew that Clockwork didn’t summon people so much as ominously pop up randomly to bother them during battle or school or while walking down the road. Or-

Danny was then reminded that this was NOT Clockwork’s place, and that someone (probably another dumb group of teenagers) had summoned him. There were even candles and a circle and-

Oh.

Danny was stuck. People normally didn’t know that summoning circles didn’t also trap ghosts. And they also normally weren’t adults who looked like weird monks. The two adults (which, what? What were adults doing summoning ghosts? They weren’t even from Amity Park-) were barely paying any attention, either, which he found really rude. And kind of stupid. Who summons a ghost and then doesn't even pay attention?

The first man had no hair, and was wearing… gold robes. He was also in the middle of arguing with the man with a goatee, with a red cape. “-telling you, Pariah is not some passerby you can just- summon! He’s the-” Pariah? Pariah Dark? The Ghost King that decided Amity Park needed to be in the Ghost Zone before invading? What did these weirdos want with him?

It took him a moment to realize Mr. Bald had stopped talking. Damn. Goatee, on the other hand, took that moment to start.

“I know he’s dangerous, but we’re going to need allies. Is he h-” Goatee said as he turned. Then he caught sight of Danny and also stopped dead. Now both of them were gaping at him.

Danny frowned, drifting up in the air. “Oh, by all accounts, don’t let me stop you. Please, continue.”

The two men looked at each other, wide-eyed and gesturing at him. Ah, silent conversations. Never fun to be left out. He sighed, floating closer to the boundaries and raising his fist to knock on it. It was like a glass wall just popped into existence around him, bolts of what looked like green electricity bouncing away from where he hit it before dispersing. Weird.

“Where is Pariah, ghost?” Goatee asked, standing with Mr. Bald. He was… tall. Both of them were, actually. Danny looked up for a moment before leaning backwards, as though thinking, and shrugged.

He sucked in air through his teeth, before reorienting himself to look at them. “Let’s say he’s in timeout for now.” And that... wasn’t a lie, Danny just left out that the old dictator was stuck in a sarcophogus of ‘never wake up again’. “And… wow, you really must’ve messed up the circle if you got me instead. What makes you think you can actually summon Pariah anyways?”

And now they looked offended and incredulous. “We don’t have time for games, ghost. Who are you?” The one with the Goatee glared, looking as though he was winding up to do something. “We know the circle works, which means that you-” he grunted. Mr. Bald removed his elbow from Goatee’s side, still silently staring.

What is it with people these days? Danny thought, blatantly staring back. “It’s Phantom. Listen, I could humor you all day but I have places to go, fights to fight, stuff like that. So…”

“I think it’d be better if you could explain more, Phantom.” Mr. Bald stated, his arm moving slowly under his robes. Probably to grab something, like a weapon. He did not like that idea. Danny turned away, flicked the barrier again, and looked at the two summoners.

“I think it’d be better if I could leave.” He stressed, eyes narrowing. He hated being caught, hated being forced into somewhere and not being able to leave. It made his very being rebel against the thought, almost- he wasn’t meant to be stuck in a small space.

Ghost barriers worked well on ghosts, though. Danny was not a pure ghost. He was alive and not at the same time, able to switch between the two states almost easily. Things that only affected a ghost or human… well, he could work around them. Sometimes. It hurt his core to use his more human aspects against things that warned off ghosts when he was Phantom, but he could do it.

He grabbed the barrier, straining against whatever kept it there. It wasn't like his parent's inventions at all; there wasn't any device that kept it there. The summoners obviously were well-equipped, but he could be fast- he could hear the mad scramble behind him. His core started to ache, and it felt as though he was benchpressing a bridge- but he kept his grip on the barrier, and when the first crack appeared he squeezed through it.

It felt like time had slowed when he made it out of the barrier. He was half-way across the room about to turn intangible, invisible, the whole nine-yards- and then he stopped. Yet again he was very, very vividly reminded of Clockwork.

“Wong, quick, we need to make a stronger barrier-” Danny couldn’t move. Not yet, it was like he was unfreezing each of his limbs and he was taking too much time- “Did you know ghosts could do that? Was he-?”

“That was one of the stronger barriers against I do not know, Strange, but this does not bode well-”

He felt someone grab him, and that was all it took. He could also feel how they startled when he could finally twist out of the way and through the wall- which felt almost exactly like the barrier but- different, because he could pass through it much easier. Danny didn’t hesitate to book it out of there.

[vacantgodling]

tit for tat: the character from witch noir i'm most obsessed with right now is angel. he just sucks so bad, but at the last minute he decides to try really hard!! for love!!! he's a cancer sun pisces moon pisces rising he's so sad and pathetic and full of love. he cries big ghibli tears and changes reality through sheer force of he believes in it so hard. he can't drive and his best friend is a cat. and he looks like oscar isaac.

now you 🔁

thank you for doing this i’m also now???? obsessed with him. cancer x pisces baby he’s so TINY idk i’m holding him i am kissing on the head i am giving him hot chocolate 😭 i’d love to know more about him?? how does he suck? how does he manage to turn things around? what’s his cats name??? i need to knowww

(also he looks like oscar isaac? i’m 👀 looking)

i randomly get into moods for stuff so like earlier i was going through my google drive with all my nonsense and looked back over my stuff for NAD and man i wish this plot would better reveal itself to me bc i love these characters. so much!!!

NAD rn is an acronym placeholder title for the actual wip itself (hopefully it’ll name itself… one day…) standing for the 3 povs that the story’s gonna switch through.

N is for Nyseah Nicoletti. she’s a trans femme nurse who is so. fucking. tired. she’s so damn tired. let her sleep. in her 30s and works the midnight shift most nights of the week and hardly takes time for herself, chain smokes to keep the edge off of how tired and irritable she always is. she wants better for herself but like ? how. getting the boob job was hard enough lmao. anyway tho, she’s given a respite from her misery one rare night off and she decides (for once) to go out. gets all dressed up, goes to a bar and WOW? a handsome man is actually?? flirting with her???? this doesn’t happen every day, what’s the occasion? they end up going back to a motel, fuck, and then nyseah wakes up alone. everything’s cool… until she opens her left eye. then SUDDEN PAIN!!! (i posted that excerpt here but she’s not having a god time). and well, come to find out she’s psychic now. but not in a good way. in a if you even think about using your powers blood is pouring from your eye type of way. ends up meeting some “escaped experiment” kids that she immediately adopts who are able to help her but her whole story is kinda. revenge for this dude who fucked her over like this bc it’s definitely one-night-stand dude’s fault (and this ain’t just a funny like. he literally caused this lol,,)

A is for Alona. a sweet, little air headed but doing her best! college student in her early 20s. she picks up a job at the largest and most famous (infamous probably) company in the city as a part time secretary and is living the good life, or is trying to! her coworkers are a bit standoffish at times but she’s pretty chill with the whole thing until one day for the first time she’s asked to stay on for the night shift. that night goes well, but she notices what looks to be a trail of blood coming from one of the back rooms she’s told not to go into and while she doesn’t that night the thought doesn’t leave her mind. she just can’t help but want to know more? somethings not right and well. she’s curious! (let’s just hope the cat phrase doesn’t come to fruition shall we).

finally, D is for PI Donte MacBride, the oldest of the bunch in his mid 40s. he really should retire from doing pi work but he has no other prospects or savings, so he just lives out his days in his little rickety shop/turned upstairs apartment (since he lost the last real place he had), shooing away those with hopes of him facing the cruel justice system on their behalf. he won’t, not anymore, he’s done with that circus. and he’s all but stopped taking on cases too until one day a very. very famous guest decides to drop by; an actor known only by his first name leonine. he comes by to request his services, claiming its only for closure as per don’s policy: find out who killed recently killed rising star, the singer roxanne davis, one of his dearest friends. and he makes don a monetary offer he can’t refuse—one that would set him for the rest of his life. so… despite the red flags about touching this case going off in his head, don finds himself taking on one last case.

as you can probably guess, these three stories intersect and the three of them are going to meet and realize they’re all on the same path to… whatever the fuck is going on here. but !! i have yet to figure out truly what it is aside from lil bits and pieces. fjfjfj i’m sorry this was so long haha.

[asinnersalibi]

Tips and Tricks

I feel like indulging myself in something beyond mindless cleaning and keeping my cats out of the trash can so here are some tips and tricks to make your writing feel more fleshed out.

Knowledgeable Writing

And I cannot stress this enough, write what you know. The more you research it and the more you try to understand it the more you sound like a text-to-speech system trying to include everything you'd learned in the last forty-five minutes. If you need to go back and look into some things, that's fine, but to stop in the middle of a chapter to research anything from the point system of tennis to how long the human body can survive in less-than-ideal circumstances is fruitless and overall harmful to your progress.

That being said if you are extremely knowable about natural poisons and how they could affect the human body or anything with a similar mass, keep in mind the audience you're writing to. Not everyone understands the difference between belladonna, henbane, and jimson weed.

Don't be afraid to validate yourself, a quick google search is not nearly as harmful, as making yourself feel like it's just not right and fretting about it for the next quarter chapter.

If you don't know, you don't know, there's no shame in it, you slap one of these [], bad boys, in there and review at a later time. Let momentum carry you if it's there.

Critic Management

You are your worse enemy, and your worst critic, literally. There are moments when your writing looks comparable to a toddler's and it's a part of the process. People who look down on you will always compare you to someone better or more talented but that's just smoke and mirrors, they have far more time and experience and you just haven't gotten there yet. Until you die love, time's the only thing you got.

Write for yourself, first. Yes, one day you want to be published and have a fanbase that writes fanfiction and draws fanart of your wonderful process, though, do remember who you started writing for, and why. More often than not I am writing because what I want to see and read and interact with is not there, so I need to put it there. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but you've got to want it, or you've got to need it, those are the choices.

Write it out and see, sometimes it's shit, sometimes it's this wondrous thing you didn't think you were capable of. That's writing, and sometimes our skills are flexible, sometimes we wonder if we ever really learned how to write or if we're randomly pulling this stuff from our ass hoping it's at least comprehensible. That is writing, it's a craft, and you're not always going to be good at it, that's where the going gets tough and you've got to be tougher.

Write, Keep Writing, Yeah- Keep Going

Trust me, it's really easy to notice a mistake three chapters back that disrupts your whole plot, and you think, let me fix it, just real quick, and now you've rewritten chapters three, four, and six, and envisioned your entire plot. Shit happens, and shit will keep happening but that's life. Try not to edit things in the middle of your novel. You'll notice so many mistakes and begin to doubt yourself as a writer but that's the writing process, mistakes are going to happen, you're writing will grow with you and you will grow with your writing. Make a note of it, physically, and write it somewhere correlative to whatever it's referring to (because you won't remember it, trust me.)

On that note, write things down, I have separate notebooks for every serious WIP (and one I use for when I cannot for the life of me find the other ones) I have in progress right now so I can randomly jot down things I need to revisit, keep in mind, or adjust. It's a paper trail and if you're anything like me you'll hate yourself for forgetting those little details. It'll help you immensely in the long run when you start editing and working on the second, third, and sometimes even ninth draft.

It's draft lovely, your first one at that. It's a rough outline of an idea you had last night or that you've had since you were a child. It's meant to be on paper, grammatical errors, plot holes, inconsistent characters and speech patterns and all. It's supposed to be rough, it's supposed to be imperfect, it's supposed to. I promise, your writing is an extension of yourself most time and you've got to admit at some point, that you don't feel all that perfect, no matter how much you love yourself. We have bad days, your writing has bad days too. It's okay, that's why we edit, take all its hard edges, and sand them down to something more tolerable and we mold it into something we consider perfect, in all its imperfections.

Do not be discouraged by progress. Whether it's a lack of or overwhelmingly sum of, take it all in, take a break when you need it and tackle it piece by piece, arc by arc, chapter by chapter, line by line if you have to.

Don't Forget About You

Taking care of yourself is believe it or not a part of the process. You can't forget to eat and drink water and rest your eyes. You can't write for six hours nonstop, or at the very least you shouldn't. Regrettable things come from the general act of self-neglect.

Water is important, so is realizing what you've done is all you can do for the day. Whether it was a chapter, or four, there's a limit to everything and it doesn't make you less of a writer if those limits aren't consistent.

You are writing a legacy love, it takes time, it takes energy, it takes effort. Moderation is key to everything and I'm sure the last thing you want to do is neglect whatever you're working on in a burnout.

Take time for yourself you crinkly little gremlins, water is important and so are sleep, food, and eyeball breaks for the blind bandits such as myself. It can be a lot but shit what are you gonna do? Try?

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3

kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝

Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭

@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33

@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33

@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️

@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm

@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.

@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽

@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I’m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3

@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️

@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️

@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️

@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33

@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️

@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3

@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333

@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡

@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️

@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝

@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️

@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3

@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽

@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️

@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333

@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️

@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️

@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy

@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️

@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽

@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️

@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!

It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-

I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

A rant of personal experiences and trying to do something positive with them:

Okay so procrastination is a huge thing in ADHD. Same with memory issues. (Not that these are always present and maybe some people experience both without being ADHD).

So. Here’s an experience I’m just now (at almost 40) realizing was a thing:

Imagine a huge essay/report/project requiring a lot of research and several sources was due in a few weeks. The advice was always to break it down, take notes, and make an outline. It made perfect sense. And maybe it does help some or even most people.

But for some, like me, it was still impossibly overwhelming and breaking it down was worse. The project was often boring (especially if I had to ignore a hyperfixation to work on it) and even if it wasn’t, it still felt like A LOT when my brain was full of TV static and my memory was shit.

It takes a ton of repetition for me to even temporarily remember something and even then, it will likely be gone again in a few days. UNLESS I learn by actually doing something or figuring it out for myself. And my brain gaslights itself like “do I remember that right? No that can’t be right. Let me look it up for the 100th time to make sure.” And I’m WAY more likely to remember concepts or physical processes but completely forget the terms for them or names of things or important dates EVEN FOR MY HYPERFIXATIONS, damnit... Like, I can do a bunch of crafty stuff and even remember some common terms and items but not the less common fabrics or stitch types or tool names. (Yet somehow I could remember the exact location of hundreds of thousands of items of inventory at my craft store job... even if I didn’t know what they were called. But I stocked them and had physical contact with them so I could picture where they were.) The number one overwhelming thing for me about trying to be a pro at anything is trying to remember terms so it sounds like I know what I’m talking about.

Anyway...

Without acknowledging that, I ended up wasting time by trying to schedule research/work in small chunks because every time I stopped then tried to start again, I wouldn’t remember what I did or looked at last time. (Can I also add that this is why being interrupted is infuriating for me? It probably seems irrational to other people but it’s so hard to get focused on something and now my train of thought is derailed, passengers are dead and injured, and it’s going to take who knows how long to revive the survivors?) And maybe that wasn’t so bad the first time because I’d only have to reread one page of notes. But then it would happen a few more times and my focus would be blurred and I’d repeated myself multiple times in the notes and they’d become a mess and look horrible which was distracting and I’d feel overwhelmed by having to reread and now rewrite several pages and focus would be even worse because I did remember some bits and blanked out while looking at those then stay blanked out then I’d have to reread again to catch the parts I didn’t remember.

But.

If I waited until the last minute, when the consequence/reward system overrode how overwhelming or boring the project was, I could burn through it because I was in constant contact with the material and it was all currently on my mind and I could skip writing notes and an outline and go straight to a fairly decent flow-state draft then keep going through revisions and editing all without forgetting WTF I’d researched. And it would be done in so so so much less time with a lot less effort and frustration.

And...

AND

And then there’s the schedule thing and why it DOES NOT WORK for me. If I schedule doing something (or even if someone suddenly wants me to do something right now) and my brain is like, “nah sorry, just static right now,” there’s absolutely nothing I can do to make it work and I’m just going to get frustrated and tired and depressed and discouraged. But if I keep a loose list of things that need to get done and indicate which are priorities, I can look at it and say “yeah. This one seems doable right now.” No I’m not going to get up and vacuum that spot of cat litter at this exact moment but it’s a good idea to do it soon so I’ll add vacuum to the list and probably get it done later the same day. If the cat throws up, that is an immediate priority so I will get up and make sure they’re okay and clean it because my brain does actually recognize things like that as super important. If a bill arrives in the mail, I’ll stop and pay it right away because I know I don’t have to think/worry about it again if I do. But what sucks about that is that society wants and often understandably needs people to work on a schedule. And I just... can’t.

But I’m trying to take this knowledge and apply it, trying to accept that this is how I function. I function based on a system of priorities that get done in order of “absolutely must be done right this second, whether for my own reasons or outside reasons, even if I need to drop other things” to “this is what I CAN do right now.” Not something pre-scheduled. If I need to leave something to the last minute then I’m just going to accept that that’s how it’s going to be and that’s okay. Then I can free up energy and space to do other things in the meantime rather than worry and be anxious and beat myself up because I should be doing the thing and end up hating things I like doing because they’re not what I should be doing and now there’s a negative association with them. No. Screw that. If all I can do today is play a video game then fine. Gonna enjoy it. Because I now know for a fact, from years of experience, that I will do the important things. They just need to wait until I’m capable of doing them. And... if I let myself stop worrying about old WIPs... They get done eventually too. It might take a few years but as long as I don’t actually decide not to do them, they will get done.

All that said... I still want to look into meds because it would be nice to have more of an ability to focus more regularly. I just need to clear up some other medical stuff first and I’ve got appointments already set up for that.

One more thing... I f$&#ing hate the attitude teachers have about doodling in class. It was literally the only way I could focus during lectures and remember anything they were talking about. I could look at what I drew and remember what was being said while I drew it. F$&% every teacher who took away my notebooks or yelled at me for it. Without it, I’d zone out completely. And THANK YOU to the art history teacher and biology teachers I had who not only understood but encouraged it and actually helped me direct it toward the subject matter by suggesting drawing thumbnails of the art or cell structure or anatomy.

[mandowh0re]

Peter’s Emergency Contact

Summary: Peter meets the Avengers. It doesn’t go well.

A/N: I’m a terrible person tell me to finish my wips. Also I’m sorry about May :(

P.s. it’s been a long time since I picked this fic up so there are some continuum issues, please forgive me.

Part1/ Part2/ Part3/ Part 4

Part 4

Putting it mildly, Peter was fucking bored. It was summer, but both Ned and MJ were on vacation with their families. And on top of that, it was way too hot to go out and do anything, including patrol. He was, however, on stand by if Karen came through with anything that required Spider-Man’s assistance.

A few floors down, the ex-Rogue Avengers were doing god knows what. They had been pardoned a month earlier and moved back into the tower. Peter had yet to meet them, though Tony seemed okay with them. But Peter didn’t really trust them.

Well, okay. He more-so didn’t trust Steve. Even though the others fought against Tony too, it was Steve that scared Tony. Peter noticed minute things that Tony would do whenever the Captain was mentioned. He’d fidget, or grab his left wrist, or rub his chest, or bite the inside of his cheek. Mostly stuff that would fly past most people.

But Peter wasn’t ‘most people’. Officially, Peter was Tony’s child. After a car accident killed May about eight months prior, Tony legally adopted Peter. Since then, Peter has learned all of Tony’s tells. Wanting to get to the bottom of these anxious ticks, Peter hacked his way around FRIDAY’s systems to figure out what had happened.

Peter wasn’t one to give into rage, but that day he spent a majority of his time in the gym or swinging through the city because he was basically vibrating from the emotion.

But they lived in the same tower, and maybe Peter was desperate for something to do, so he decided to head down to the common room where FRIDAY had informed him that a few of the Avengers were hanging out.

The elevator dinged and Peter walked out to the sight of… Christmas decorations?

“What the…” He breathed, looking around the room.

“You’re not Stark,” Natasha said, suddenly appearing in front of Peter.

Peter had to literally fight down his fanboy excitement to greet the literal Black Widow!

“Uh, no. I mean, technically I am but-”

“You’re Peter, right?” Was that a smirk? Peter couldn't tell.

“Uh, y-yeah. How-?”

“I have my ways of finding things out,” Okay, now that was a smile, “I haven’t told anyone though. So you’ll have to introduce yourself to them.” She said as she tossed her head to the side, motioning to the others on the floor.

“Oh, right.”

Peter followed Natasha farther into the room, gaining the attention of the rest of the crew including Wanda Maximoff, Vision (who Peter had actually met before), Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, and Bruce (who Peter had also met before as he and Thor showed up about two months after May’s death).

“Uh, who’s the child, Nat?” Clint asked, sitting on the kitchen island.

Natasha looked at Peter, who began picking at the hem of his shirt. A nervous tick of his own.

“Uh, hi, Mister Barton. I’m Peter. Uh, Peter Parker. Or, Peter Parker-Stark now I guess? I’m-”

“Wait, excuse me, Parker-Stark? Since when the hell did Stark have a child?” Sam cut in.

“Let him finish,” Wanda berated the man, who seemed to currently be baking cookies, “Go on,” She said to the other teenager in the room, smiling kindly.

“Right, so uh, Tony hired me as his personal intern like two years ago, and we got pretty close. My aunt died last December and since she was my last family, Tony took me in and adopted me.” Immediately after mentioning his aunt’s death, almost everyone in the room looked at him with pity.

“I’m sorry kid,” That was Clint again, “Life sucks sometimes.”

“I’m adjusting,” Peter replied, but he quickly changed the subject, “Why are you decorating for Christmas? It’s almost a hundred degrees outside, not to mention it’s July.”

“Ah, that was my idea!” Sam called from the kitchen where he was currently pulling cookies out of the oven, “Since we’re on house arrest until further notice, I thought we could entertain ourselves with Christmas in July. It’s something we used to do when I was younger.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!”

“You’re welcome to join, kid.” Bruce called from his spot on the couch.

“Really? Thanks guys!” Peter jumped onto a seat at the island.

“Have a cookie, man.” Sam said, holding out a plate of santa shaped sugar cookies.

“Aw sweet!” The boy grabbed one and took a bite, “Thanks!”

About fifteen minutes passed by when Peter’s senses upped a few notches.

“Any cookies left, Sam?”

Peter nearly choked on his current cookie and jumped up to see Steve Rogers walking out of the elevator.

“Yep, a few plates full. There’s sugar, gingerbread, and chocolate chip.”

A few seconds passed before the super soldier noticed Peter.

“Um, hello. I’m Steve, you are?” He offered a hand for Peter to shake.

Peter tried to respond, but the room suddenly began spinning. He gripped onto the counter to steady himself.

“Son?” Steve asked.

“Don’ call me tha’,” Peter tried to glare, but he wasn’t even sure he was controlling his face properly.

Out of nowhere his legs gave out, and black began overtaking his vision.

A chorus of exclamations rang out as everyone ran over to tend to the boy. Fortunately and unfortunately, Steve was the closest and was the one to grab Peter before he hit the ground.

“No! Let me go!” He struggled against Steve’s arms to no avail.

“Calm down, son, I’m just-”

“What happened?” Bruce asked, feeling for Peter’s pulse.

“He just collapsed.” Sam answered.

Then Peter began seizing.

“Fuck, Sam, start a timer to time the seizure. Steve, pick him up and bring him to the medbay with me. Natasha, call Tony.”

“Why are we calling Tony?” Steve asked, following Bruce into the elevator.

It was silent for a moment where Bruce and Nat exchanged glances before Bruce answered, “He’s Tony’s kid.”

“Since when-”

“Later Steve. One thing at a time.”

***

“This better be important. Like, life or death because you pulled me out of a meeting and Pepper-”

“Shut up, Stark. Something is wrong with Peter.”

Tony was quiet for a moment before growling back, “Explain, Romanoff. Now.”

“I don’t know, Tony. He came down and introduced himself and was hanging out with us when he just collapsed and started seizing. We’re taking him to the medbay now-”

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I’m in DC. I’ll have to come back with the suit but it’ll still take me an hour.”

“What do you want me to-”

“Do not let him out of your sight, Nat. I don’t want him waking up alone and you and Bruce are the only two I trust enough to watch him. Keep me updated, I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

“Got it.”

***

“He’s showing symptoms of anaphylactic shock,” Bruce said to the other two occupants after injecting Peter with an anticonvulsant, “ FRIDAY, is Peter allergic to anything? Override code six one three three nine seven five.”

“Peter is allergic to peppermint, and as well has severe reactions when in close vicinity to insect repellents.”

“Was there peppermint in Sam’s cookies?”

“One moment, Doctor Banner.” A few seconds passed before the AI came back with an answer, “Mister Wilson has supplied that the sugar cookies had peppermint extract in them.”

“Peter had several of those,” Nat said quietly.

“Okay, okay at least I can work with that. Steve,” Bruce called to the soldier while pulling out an epinephrine pen, “I think it’d be better if you waited with everyone else. Thank you for helping.”

Steve wanted to argue, but he looked at Nat who seemed to agree with Bruce.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else.” He offered before walking out the door.

As soon as the door shut behind him Nat spoke, “If Peter hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself I’m pretty sure he would have punched Steve.”

Bruce finished injecting the medicine and pulled the pen away from Peter’s thigh, “He still might.”

Natasha helped Bruce fix an IV drip in Peter’s arm in silence.

“You don’t have to stay, I can watch him until Tony gets here.” Bruce offered.

“He won’t be here for another forty five minutes. Plus, I’m supposed to keep watch. Stark’s orders.”

Bruce nodded in understanding, “His vitals are starting to return to normal. I’ll go update the others.”

“I’ll call Tony.”

***

Peter felt like he’d been hit by a train.

Had he?

Honestly he couldn’t remember what had happened. He opened his eyes to see Tony next to his bed (why was he in the medbay?) talking to someone on the other side of his bed. Soon his ears stopped ringing and he heard another hushed voice. Probably whoever Tony was talking to. Why did Tony look upset?

Peter turned his head to see Steve standing there.

And

What?

Without really having his wits about him yet, Peter jumped up and shoved the man back, pulling and knocking over his IV stand in the process.

“Woah, Pete! Calm down-”

“What? You didn’t get to kill him in Siberia so you thought you’d come and finish the job while I’m out?” Peter practically snarled.

Steve’s eyes blew wide, shock and shame overtaking his features, “Son, I-”

“And stop calling me that!” Peter shoved again, sending the captain into the wall, leaving a sizable crack.

“Peter!” Tony yelled, grabbing at the kid’s arm, “Calm down, bud. He’s not here to hurt me, or you for that matter. Can you please sit back down before you give me another damn heart attack?”

Peter obliged but his eyes never left Steve, who looked to be in too much of shock to really say anything.

“Cap, let the team know he’s awake, will ya?” It really wasn’t a suggestion or a question, more like a thinly veiled disguise to get him out of the room before Peter decided he hadn’t had enough.

Nodding, Steve hightailed it out of the room, but not before looking back at Peter and offering a quick apology.

It was quiet for a few moments, in which time Tony set the IV stand back up and made sure Peter’s IV was still in place. Finally the older man spoke, “Pete, buddy, what was all that about? How do you know what happened in Siberia?”

Peter’s demeanor fell slightly as he came back to himself, “Wasn’t hard to guess.”

“Mhmm. Wanna try again? Maybe with the truth this time?” Tony said as he sat back down next to his kid.

Peter crossed his arms and looked down at the floor.

“I hacked FRIDAY,” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Tony asked.

Peter sighed audibly before repeating himself, louder this time, “I hacked FRIDAY.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you were beat up and withdrawn after we got back from Germany. Which, okay, fine. We weren’t in a place for you to tell me what happened. But then the pardon for them was beginning to go through and every time Steve was even mentioned, you had these reactions like you were nervous or something. And I wanted to know why. I already had a pretty good idea. Then I saw the footage and I just… I don’t want him near you..”

“Peter, buddy. Look at me, please,” Tony gently held the boy’s chin and turned his head so that he looked at Tony, “Thank you for looking out for me. But that’s not your responsibility,”

“Yes it is! I can’t-” His throat catches and a lump forms, tears making their way to the surface, “I’ve lost everyone because I couldn’t protect them. I can’t lose you too.”

Tony pulls Peter in for a hug, and cards his fingers through the kid’s curls, “It’s okay to cry, honey. But I’m not going anywhere. Remember that. The universe will have to personally fight me before I let anything get between us. Understood?” Peter nodded slightly, but clung to his father’s shirt as he cried.

Eventually Peter fell asleep in Tony’s arms.

“I love you, kid. I’m not going anywhere.” Tony whispered, placing a kiss on top of the curls on his kid’s head.

And yes. Peter did end up punching Captain America. We don’t bring that up.

***

IronDad tag list: @tranquility-or-chaos @a-black-pegasus @do-you-downey @ididntdothatnope @marvelbased @yourwhatisstuckwhere @terriblygoodrockandroll @love-every-fandom @starkaroos2034 @prism-opals @howisavebrainspace @multifandom-slytherin @insaneskyler @starlightfound

Permanent tag list: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @the-regal-warrior @transparentparadiseglitterzombie @marvelgem @propertyofmarvel @avngrsinitiative @my-leg-is-not-a-chew-toy @lyricalstella @just-the-daydreamer

!! I’ve removed several urls from my tag list because they don’t work anymore. If you would like to be part of my tag lists please send me a message or an ask!!

[pluckyredhead]

wip amnesty: super sons fake dating (but different)

So while I was working on It Wouldn’t Be Make Believe (If You Believed In Me), my brain abruptly gave me a completely different Super Sons fake dating scenario, insisted that I write two scenes, and then abandoned me entirely. There is like a 1% chance that I will ever finish this so instead I offer it up to you, my very patient friends. (Don’t worry, I have different Jon/Damian fics planned!)

Also, this completely ignores the Bendis run, because...well, you know why. SIGH.

-

Damian cast a weary eye over the guests assembled at the gala, the latest tribute of the Gotham elite to their own wealth and frivolity. He wasn’t even sure what this one was ostensibly raising money for, but he had a feeling most of that money had gone into the refreshments and entertainment rather than the intended charitable recipients.

He hated these things, but Father was in space with the Justice League, Richard was undercover, Drake was on Earth-3, and Todd was just generally unsuitable for public consumption. Once again it fell to Damian, as the heir to the Wayne name, to carry the entire family on his shoulders. He usually didn’t mind, except when it took the form of wearing a tuxedo and making small talk with empty-headed socialites.

Maybe the Riddler or someone would show up and try to steal everyone’s jewelry. That would be a pleasing diversion.

He saw Gracie Van Nuyck, daughter of one of the few Gotham families older than the Waynes, making her way over to him and quickly took out his phone. He was meant to be the latest irresponsible Wayne playboy; he could be rude and spend a whole party texting and not talking to anyone as long as he kept a stupid expression on his face.

He already had a few texts from Jon, he saw when he unlocked his phone.

giant kraken attacking honolulu

titans & i r teleporting over

u in?

Damian clicked his tongue.

I know you’re overriding your autocorrected capitalization to irritate me.

And I can’t. I have to attend this gala.

sucks 2 b u 🐟 🐠 🐬

“Damian Wayne.” Gracie had not been put off by his texting - in fact, she had her own phone in her hand. Damian dimly remembered that she’d once told him she was an “influencer.” She had influenced him pretty strongly to get as far away from her as possible, so he supposed she was good at what she did. “Look at you, all dressed up and looking like a snack.”

“Gracie,” he said. “Nice to see you.” He did not attempt to make it convincing, or glance up from his phone more than briefly.

Trust me, I’m aware. Everyone here is an imbecile and none of the hors d'oeuvres are vegetarian.

“Do you like my dress?” Gracie asked, giving a little twirl.

“Lovely.” Damian did not have Richard’s ability to give genuine compliments, or even Father’s ability to fake them well. It didn’t deter Gracie in the slightest.

“I have a proposition for you, you beautiful boy,” she said.

“I’m the same age as you.”

that blows. what about the orderbs?

Damian fought a smile. I also know you know how hors d’oeuvres is pronounced.

😂 😂 😉

“What’s that smile for?” Gracie asked.

Damian forced his facial expression back to neutral. “What’s your proposition?”

She held up her hands like she was illuminating a marquee. “Gotham’s new dream couple: Dacie. Or we could be Gramian, I guess, but that sounds horrible.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and me, joining forces,” she said. “Me and my millions and my beautiful body, you and your millions and your beautiful body...we’d be the toast of the glitterati.”

“You want to date me,” Damian said, flatly, disbelievingly. This was what Father and Richard’s inability to resist a pretty face had brought him to: being literally propositioned at parties by socialites who thought every Wayne was an easy mark.

“I want to date you,” she agreed. “It must be your lucky day. Well, night.”

Damian stared at her for a long moment, just enough to let it become uncomfortable. “No,” he said finally, and turned back to his phone.

once weve kicked this things ass i bet i can bring u some shave ice before it melts

Bring the kraken instead. It can eat everyone here.

“No?” Gracie repeated.

“No, thank you,” Damian said, as a sop to good manners.

He glanced up. She looked bewildered. It might be the first time she’d ever been told no in her life. “Why not?”

“I’m seeing someone,” he said. Totally untrue, but a reason she couldn’t argue with.

Not that she didn’t try. “Oh? Who’s the lucky girl?” she asked, her expression calculating.

Damian raised an eyebrow. “Not sure why you would assume pronouns,” he said, more to wrong foot her than anything else, though it was true that gender didn’t make much difference to him. He disliked most people equally.

Her eyes widened before she recovered herself. “My apologies,” she said. “Do I know...uh, them?”

Damian’s phone buzzed in his hand. It was a selfie of Jon, with Billy and Lian pulling faces behind him and a tentacle snaking through the air above their heads. Idiots. He fought another smile.

Stop taking selfies before you get drowned.

“It’s a long distance relationship,” he said. The last thing he needed was Gracie tracking down Colin or Maya or someone and pestering them.

no its cool we made friends with it

i gave it ur shave ice

sorry

“Oh?” Gracie asked. “Where do they live?”

Out of the corner of his eye Damian could see that she seemed to be on her phone too, so he felt even less bad about ignoring her. “Metropolis,” he said, because it was the first city he thought of. You traitor, he texted Jon.

“Innnteresting,” she said. “Well, it was worth a shot. See you around, hot stuff.” She brushed a kiss in the air near his cheek and sauntered off.

Damian blinked. That had been...relatively painless. Maybe the whole night would go by so quickly and easily.

He checked the time. Three and a half hours to go.

Tt.

*

Jon had heard the noise before he stepped outside, but he hadn’t really processed it. Metropolis was a noisy city, and if there were no gunshots or cries for help, he had gotten pretty good at tuning it out.

Which was why he was so surprised when he walked out of his apartment building to be confronted with a sea of reporters flashing cameras at him.

“Jon!”

“Jon Kent!”

“Jon, over here!”

His heart stopped. Had they somehow found out he was Superboy? Which meant they knew about Dad, and Mom was probably in danger, and all of his friends, and…

“Jon, long have you and Damian Wayne been dating?”

What?

“Back off, you vultures! Leave him alone!” Uncle Jimmy emerged from the crowd, red-faced and disheveled. He put one hand in front of Jon’s face and the other on his shoulder. “No comment! He has no comment! Come on, Jon, back inside.”

Thoroughly baffled, Jon allowed Uncle Jimmy to steer him back into the building.

“Hey, Frank, don’t let any of them in unless Mr. or Mrs. Lane-Kent says it’s cool, okay?” Uncle Jimmy said to the doorman.

Frank, who Jon had known since they moved here when he was ten, put his imposing frame in front of the door. “Absolutely not,�� he said.

“Thanks, Frank,” Jon managed, and waited until he and Jimmy were in the elevator and out of sight of the reporters. “What the heck is going on?”

“You’re a social media sensation, kiddo,” Uncle Jimmy said, and held up his phone to display a picture of Damian wearing a tuxedo and looking elegantly bored. “Apparently Bruce Wayne’s kid told someone called ‘GraceFace’ that he was dating a boy who lived in Metropolis, and she told her three million Instagram followers. A bunch of them found this photo.” He swiped to show a slightly blurry picture of Jon and Damian in Centennial Park, clearly taken on a cell phone by someone moving quickly. Jon remembered that day but hadn’t realized anyone had recognized Damian, though it did happen. “And someone figured out your name.”

“And assumed I’m the boy Damian is dating in Metropolis,” Jon said, putting it together. “Wait. Is he dating someone in Metropolis? Did he mean me? Why would he say we were dating?”

Uncle Jimmy held up a finger. “No, first question before that: how the hell do you know Damian Wayne?”

“Uh.” Jon paused. Uncle Jimmy knew all about him and Dad, since he was basically Dad’s best friend, but not any Gotham secret identities, and Jon was pretty sure both Damian and Mr. Wayne wanted to keep it that way.

Uncle Jimmy’s eyes flicked to the counter that showed what floor they were on. “And before we get to your apartment...any chance you want to give me the exclusive on this saga of young love?”

Jon’s mouth dropped open. “Uncle Jimmy!”

“What? I’m a reporter, it’s in my blood!”

“I’m telling my mom you asked me that.”

“No, please, tell your dad. He can only heat vision me or throw me out the window. Either way it’ll be quick.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m telling Mom.”

[crescentbunny]

Thank you for tagging me! @shut-up-alexa

Tagging  @that-wildwolf @rpgwrites @mordinette

If you want Mass Effect Fic, come check me out. 

I’m p sure I’ve been tagged for this before and decided not to partake since I only had the one fic so if you tagged me before for this - I’m sorry, I didn’t ignore you I did see it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Just the 2 - for now

What’s your total AO3 word count?

175,504

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Of course are you kidding? Creators live for feedback and I’m not going to let a single ounce of the kindness people have chosen to give me go to waste or even seemingly go unappreciated. My britches will NEVER be to big to reply, even if I got thousands a day I would answer back.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

For the moment it’s Of Reapers and Burnt Beginnings. The end of ME2 didn’t end on a high note, and the games certainly didn't explore it - so I did.  Shep getting court martialed and put on trial would be a public media FRENZY. We are talking death threats, assassination attempts, threats of war over the Butcher of Torfan’s seemingly callous murdering spree in the Bahack system, at the bare minimum! The next portion of this fic, Of Shallow Graves and Glorious Cinders, is still being written to completion before I post. Its first few chapters explore the fall out of the trial and its effects on Shepard’s mental health and that of her friends as well.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I guess Devil’s Den? It ends with Shakarian in a post-coital haze with a moment of fluff obliterated by Joker. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the strangest one you’ve written?

Not yet

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Also not yet - I’ve been super lucky and non-stop supported by the most lovely and kind people. I am so spoiled - I know it and I take no moment for granted. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In my WIP folder there is EVERY kind. Well, maybe that’s not true - I don't get heavy into sub/dom kink or even understand the alpha/omega stuff. I apparently took too much of a break from fanfic and missed that trend.

One of these days I’m gonna write smut of Samara just utterly destroying Femshep. You can’t tell me a 1,000 year old biotic matriarch couldn’t teach you a few out-there things that wouldn’t blow your tits clean off your body, okay. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? How would that work? I don’t think I’d care if someone plagiarized me hard - not like I get paid for this and I’d read it, hell yeah. I’ll read the same story line by different people 900 different ways, sign me up. But if someone just outright posted it somewhere else with no credit... that’d be shitty. Don’t do that people. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, I wish! I wish I knew 4 other languages, I’d just do it myself! That's got to be a massive labor of love though holy shit.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t but I’m certainly open to it - if it’s an idea that gets me excited I’ll throw down with someone.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In Mass Effect it’s Femshep x Garrus. I can ship literally anyone with femshep with extraordinary ease though. Special mention to Shack, Shrios, and Shaeed too.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I FULLY intend to complete every half realized story in my WIP folder - so hopefully none.

What are your writing strengths?

I’m not entirely sure? I just know I like to read what I write. Which is the whole point. My most poignant comments have been about good characterization and “really hot sex" lol. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting into the grove. It takes me hours to settle down and crank out words. My job is very stressful and it doesnt leave me a lot of time to write, and when I do have time I feel wiped out. Ah, adulthood.

Editing my own shit. I get sucked into the story EVERYTIME and I stop looking for errors. Man it’s annoying. (I mean, it’s a good thing too. I write for myself after all, but WHAT a hinderance.)

Not sure what to call it, but I’ve discovered I have a very out there opinion on how sentences should be arranged and boy howdy does @shepgarrus call me on it. She also reigns in my over-the-line prose too, lol.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I wish I was better at it because I love it. I’ve been trying to write a Solavellan fic and even though I’ve read the elvhen cypher breakdown on Ao3 clean through like five times I just cannot wrap my head around it. And that's just a cypher. Imagine me trying to learn an actual language and you will instantly see why I struggled through languages in school.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon!! I’ve got so much fic from my 14 yr old self stored away on my computer still. I can't decide if any of it is cute or just fucking atrocious. Lordy. Trust me it’s all been deleted from ffn.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Of Reapers and Burnt Beginnings. I’m just so proud I wrote it at all after not writing a single thing since high school, and I finished it. It’s hella long - longer than The Two Towers, or Return of the King! 

[sadaveniren]

Annual Writing Evaluation 2020

Ssssssh I know it’s the beginning of January. I’m late. I was tagged by @daggerandrose​ and @lululawrence​ to do this. They were two slightly different ones so I just... Mashed them together. Whoops

1. List of Stories published this year: Did you let him leave a necklace (yup)

Fellowship of Eroda

Can we pretend (honestly reality bores me)

Tastes like strawberries

Just for tonight (I can be yours)

Fun time candles

The animals play

Knife’s edge

You’re outta control (what is your mind)

When you’re good to mama (he surprises you)

One shot two shot (you and me)

Clean up, clean up (everybody have some fun)

So wonderful and warm

Here comes the men in black (my soulmate)

Here to stay (here to play)

The happiest season

2. Word count posted for the year: 161,374 (jfc)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Taste Like Strawberries

Bookmarks: Just For Tonight (I can be yours)

Comments: The Happiest Season

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):  That’s tough. I know in another post I was like EVERY FIC I POSTED WAS A VICTORY and that’s true. I think I’m most proud of Here to Stay (here to play) because for an entire month every night I sat down and wrote start to finish a whole fic. Sure some of those Fics were 400 words but listen... I come from fandom of old where there were the 100 fic challenges and even trying to write 100 word Drabbles is HARD. You’re making a whole story every day and it felt good! I felt accomplished!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I really really wish Here Comes the Men in Black (my soulmate) had come out different. I had much bigger plans and they got scrapped and I just. Wish things had gone different. But I was writing it as I struggled with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression which lasted TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND I DID NOT GET MORE THAN 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AT A TIME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND GOD IT WAS THE WORST SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A SERIOUS HEALTH CONDITION. So the biggest thing to fall away during that time was my writing. And that fic sadly suffered because of it 😔

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every reviewer who commented during Kinktober and said that they weren’t usually a fan of the kink of the day but they trusted me enough to give the chapter a shot. A special shoutout to those who tried the rape fantasy chapter because of that trust.

A special SPECIAL shoutout to the asshole who asked me to tag every time I wrote girl direction for kinktober and told me they refused to read any of the chapters on the off chance I surprised them with a vagina or something.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Literally all fucking year. March-April-May was a particularly fuzzy time for me. I think any writing I got done was on my phone, half asleep, with my fingers cramping

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in Fellowship to Eroda was a lot of fun to write. That fic overall was really fun to write because I got to include a lot of DND stuff and some of my favorite dialogue was there.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From You’re Outta Control (what is your mind)

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

The train was barreling along and Harry knew he didn’t have much time to make his decision. He quickly nodded.

Louis made quick work of unzipping his fly and turning Harry around so his back was facing his chest. He pulled him back by his hips and settled him down on his cock.

They both moaned at the sensation, and being so exposed. And then they started to fuck. It was wild, erratic, and desperate.

“Just think,” Louis groaned, “if I had an alpha cock. How we wouldn’t be able to do this if I knotted you.” Harry’s breath caught and he wiggled his hips. “Or maybe we would. You stuck on my knot through fuck knows how many stops. People coming and going. Seeing you there. Squirming like a little slut.”

Harry gasped. His mouth hung open as he tried to suck in air and ride Louis’ cock at the same time.

“Louder,” Louis demanded. His voice was beginning to sound strained. “Want your moans to fill up the whole car.”

It took effort but Harry was helped along when Louis reached around and wrapped his fingers around his cock. Then he moaned and it echoed in the empty train car.

“That’s right. Fucking yourself on daddy’s omega cock. So much better than some alpha’s knot isn’t it?”

“Daddy,” Harry whined. He bounced faster, eyes closed. He knew if he didn’t come before the next stop he wouldn’t be able to stop and anyone who came onto the car would see.

“Think how much come you’d have to hide if I was some alpha. It would leak out. Drip onto the floor.” Harry gasped. He was so close and his cunt squeezed around Louis’ cock as he tried to pull Louis with him. “Instead you’ll be pumped full of my omega seed-“ Louis’ voice cut off as he came, pulling Harry down flush against his hips as he came in him.

Harry watched as his own cock squirted come onto the floor and he cried out in embarrassment and lust.

The train was still running as they both caught their breath and it only started to slow down for the next stop as Louis edged Harry off of his cock. Harry could feel the mix of his slick and Louis’ come starting to slide out of him as Louis pushed him to the ground.

“Clean daddy off,” Louis said. His fingers tangled in Harry’s hair as he pulled Harry’s mouth to his slick covered cock.

The train was slowing down. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he got to his knees. He caught Louis’ eye. The lights from the station were starting to filter in through the window. Louis squeezed his fingers in his hair.

“What are you waiting for? These are expensive trousers and I don’t want your slick ruining them.” Harry could see the stain his slick had already left around the zipper of Louis’ trousers. “Clean me off.”

They jolted to a stop and the doors hissed open. Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ cock, licking him clean. He spread his legs as Louis’ come leaked out of him and onto the floor.

The doors dinged, singling they were closing and Louis pulled his mouth off of him. Harry stared up at him from where he was kneeling on the ground and Louis smiled.

“There’s a good omega. Come sit up next to me.”

Harry looked around. The car was still empty. His entire body sagged from adrenaline and he turned to kiss Louis. “We would have been in so much trouble if we’d been caught.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I lost…. a lot of fucks. I used to agonize about the fics I put out, and I still did, but this year I waded through writing a lot of stuff that normally I wouldn’t just because I didn’t feel ~motivated~ that day. But between Kinktober, and my advent fic, and just, forcing myself to finish fics even when I felt uninspired, I produced a lot more than I planned and that’s really important to me! But it also means that I learned to let fics go a lot earlier.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Continue to just… write. I don’t have any big things I want to work on. Maybe crafting overall non-romantic plots? I’m trying that out for my big bang…. we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @lululawrence​ and @londonfoginacup are literally my rocks in writing at this point. They were so helpful while I cried about not being able to finish any fics ever, and reminded me constantly to be kind to myself. Jenna and @becomeawendybird were also just so so encouraging and I think without them I would be absolutely lost.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: lol. Yes. Next.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write smut horny, edit after. (or don’t like… fuck it no one reading your smut is gonna care when they’re getting off to it)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m focused on my big bang which I hope people will enjoy. And then… Man if I could finish my eternal WIP that would be EXCELLENT. But who knows!! Maybe a plot bunny will hit me.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I think everyone has done this cause I’m late. Whoops.

[sunlightdances]

Weights & Dates (Personal Trainer!Bucky Barnes AU)

Title: Weights and Dates Author: Katie @sunlightdances Summary: Personal trainer Bucky Barnes. Wearing those smedium t-shirts. And sweating. Do I really have to say more?  Disclaimer: I don’t own Bucky or Marvel. Please don’t repost my work on any other sites without my permission! I’d love for you to reblog this and tell me what you think if you read. It means the world to me. Author’s Note: I have a lot of other WIPs to work on but I had no choice but to write this when it was brought up in the Marvel creators Discord. Thank u for being a bad influence @jbbuckybarnes​. ALSO: this was literally just meant to be drooling over what Bucky looks like at the gym (thank u Don Saladino for those gym vids as inspo) but ended up also having FEELINGS. What can u do, you know?

You’re nervous as you walk up the concrete steps to the gym, wringing your hands together as you try to convince yourself that this is a good idea.

It’s January. The time of the year everyone makes a resolution to go to the gym more, so here you are. A fresh gym membership and a session with a personal trainer on the schedule. You want to do this, you really do - you know you’ll feel good after a workout - but you can’t help but be nervous.

You haven’t worked out in ages, and you’re worried you’ll make a fool of yourself. It doesn’t help that you looked up your trainer on the gym’s website after the session was scheduled, and he’s-- he’s so hot. There’s really no other words for it.

So, yes, you’re nervous.

Still, you tell yourself to stop being an idiot and when you get inside, you’re a little calmed by the sight of a bunch of other nervous-looking people who are clearly there for the first time, too.

When you check in at the desk to ask where you’re meant to go for your session, the girl sends you down the hall and into an empty room on the left. “Bucky will be there in a few minutes, he’s finishing up with a group down the hall.” She sends you a quick smile, and then you’re alone.

Feeling fidgety, you take off your coat and put your bag in a corner, and you’re saved from being alone for too much longer when the door opens after a few minutes and a very tall, very sweaty man comes into the room.

You recognize him immediately from the picture on the gym’s website, and oh shit, he’s even hotter in person, especially when he meets your eyes and smiles at you, a crooked slow smile that has you nearly running for the hills.

“Hi,” he says brightly, “sorry to keep you waiting. I’m also sorry I’m disgusting right now,” he says, chuckling, and you almost scoff because hello? Has he seen himself? There’s no way he could ever be considered disgusting.

You introduce yourself, still feeling a little awkward.

“Nice to meet you,” he says warmly. “Let’s sit for a second.” The two of you sit cross-legged on the floor, and you giggle a little as he struggles to lower his enormous frame to sit next to you. He smiles, amused. “So. What brings you here?”

You frown a little. Are you in the wrong place? Didn’t you sign up for a session? Why--

“I meant, why did you sign up for personal training?” He asks kindly, seeing you flounder. “Any particular reason?”

You fidget some more. “Just-- I want to get back into shape. Not--” you shut your eyes briefly, frustrated that you can’t vocalize your thoughts. “I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m happy with my body. I just want to feel better. Stronger, more energy, less aches and pains.”

You’re embarrassed, but he doesn’t look like he’s judging you at all. In fact, if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was giving you a once over, but you shake that thought away. He’s a trainer. It’s his job to assess the situation. That’s all it is.

Standing, he offers his hand. When you take it, he tugs you to your feet, and gives you that grin you’re beginning to realize might actually give you a heart attack one of these days.

“Okay then. Let’s get started.”

.

.

.

You have been training with Bucky Barnes for one month, and you regret every nice thing you ever thought about him.

Sure, you still think he’s the most good looking person you’ve ever seen in real life, but that’s it. He’s trying to kill you, you’re convinced of it.

You’re bent over at the waist, sweat dripping from your forehead, struggling to get in even one deep breath.

“Come on,” he says gently. “You got this. Two more exercises and we’re done for today.”

“I’ll be done forever if I keep going,” you grumble, and he laughs.

“You’ll be alright. Come on. Deep breath, and let’s push through it.”

You finish your workout with some pushups and situps, like always (gets the heart rate going one more time, he told you on the first day), and then you basically collapse on the mat underneath you, arms refusing to hold you up any longer.

He sits next to you, close enough you can feel the heat radiating off him. “Gonna make it?” He asks, arching an eyebrow.

“Shut up,” you say weakly, “Just leave me here to die.”

“So dramatic.” He stands, offering his hand. “Come on, up you go. You’ll cramp if you sit there too long.”

After ten minutes or so and an entire water bottle chugged, you leave with a wave, and Bucky watches you go, trying and failing not to notice the way your shirt sticks to your back or the single bead of sweat that drips from your collarbone that he can see even from all the way over here at the front desk.

“Dude.”

Bucky turns to see Sam and Steve, both amused, and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t start.”

“When are you going to ask her out?”

“Literally never.” He turns to leave, but Sam and Steve just trail after him, peppering him with questions.

“Why not?!”

“She’s a client. She doesn’t need me putting the moves on her.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “She’s been looking at you the same way you’re looking at her, man.”

Bucky stops in his tracks, but tries to shake it off. That’s not right. There’s been zero signs. Even the day you were early and he caught you watching him as he finished his own workout on the squat rack-- there wasn’t anything but innocent curiosity in your eyes.

He’s pretty sure.

“Dude, you are so dumb.” Sam says, helping him put the weights you’d been using with him back in their racks against the wall.

“I’m not going to ask her out! It doesn’t matter how--” He stops himself short of saying that it doesn’t matter how beautiful or funny or smart or gorgeous he thinks you are, he just can’t. “She came here because she wanted help, and she trusts me enough to let me do that. So I’m not going to do or say anything stupid just because you two idiots think it’s a good idea.”

.

.

.

Another month passes. You’re almost at the three month mark, and it’s time to renew your membership.

You want to keep training, you’re just not so sure you should keep doing it with Bucky.

You’re-- you’re getting attached. And look, this membership is not cheap. Realistically, you can’t do it forever, and when it comes time to stop coming to the gym, you feel like it’s going to suck.

You don’t know why it feels so much like a breakup, but you’re really doing your best to avoid the subject with Bucky.

“You’re quiet,” he says, before you start your session. He’s putting out some of the equipment, and you can’t help but notice the way his muscles shift in his back, the way his shirt is pulled so tightly-- no. You have to stop, because this is embarrassing. You’re a grown ass woman. Get a grip.

“Just tired I guess,” you say, starting to stretch. You can feel his eyes on you, but not in a predatory way, you can tell he wants to say something, ask something. You hope he doesn’t.

The workout goes fine. Great, even. You can actually tell that you’ve made progress. And you’re proud of yourself for sticking with it. You can tell Bucky is too, the little smile on his face as he sits next to you as you stretch a good indicator.

“That was a good one today,” he comments, “Feeling okay?”

“Shoulder’s are a little sore from the weighted squats, but other than that I feel good.”

He hums sympathetically. “Drink a lot of water and take some pain reliever before you go to bed. It’ll help with the muscle soreness.”

As he turns to start putting some stuff away, you watch him. As his sleeves ride up, you notice a smattering of scars on his left shoulder and you find yourself realizing you know nothing about him.

It’s just a crush. You have no idea who he is other than tall, muscled, and extremely handsome. Also charming, and kind, and generous, and-- no. It’s just a crush. There should be nothing hard about ending your training with him.

“I can’t renew my membership.” You blurt, and he spins around, startled.

“Sorry?”

You shake your head, “I-- it’s been three months and the rate is going up. If I renew I’ll barely be able to pay my rent.”

He frowns. “Is it-- did I do something?” He asks, and it’s so plaintive, so concerned, you want to curl up in a ball and die.

“No! It’s not you--”

“I just--” he runs a hand through his hair, “You’ve been making great progress. And I thought we were getting along okay…”

“We are!” You’re quick to reassure him. “I just…”

He stops you before you can continue, “Wait, it’s okay. You don’t have to justify yourself to me. I get it.” He sends you a smile, but even you can tell he’s faking it.

You’re on your feet quickly, trying to end this awkward conversation before it gets any worse. “Well… I-- thanks, Bucky. Really, I lucked out with you.” You tell him, giving him a grin before shoving your hoodie in your bag and leaving before he can say anything else.

You make your last payment at the front desk, and avoid Steve’s eyes (the owner and Bucky’s best friend, you’ve discovered) when he ends your membership. Somehow you think he knows more than he’s letting on, but you appreciate that he doesn’t ask you about it.

When you leave, you wonder why you feel like you’re giving up on something that never even started.

Bucky’s still in the training room after you leave, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. People end their memberships or don’t renew all the time.

Why does this feel so different?

Because it’s her, his mind unhelpfully supplies, but it’s more than that.

He can’t get over the way you just blurted it out, like you couldn’t wait one more second to get out of there. He goes over every session, every interaction, trying to figure out where he got it all wrong.

One thing’s for sure - he was right, and he never should have let Steve and Sam try to convince him that you had feelings for him.

.

.

.

2 months later

You’re sitting at a table in a restaurant you don’t even like, trying your best not to release the tears that so desperately want to spill out.

You hate that you’re even here - talked into a blind date by your coworker is probably not the smartest decision you’ve ever made, but whatever.

Embarrassed because the waiter has definitely noticed you’ve been alone for far longer than anyone else at a table for two, you’re wondering how to avoid having to tell him that your date isn’t showing before going home.

Just as you’re looking around to find the waiter, you see him at the bar.

His eyes widen, just slightly, before he softens, hesitating before getting off the barstool and heading over to you. You feel the embarrassment welling back up inside you when he gets close enough to speak.

The way he says your name… it’s question and there’s sympathy there.

“I thought that was you,” He says. “Are you okay?” He asks, and you shrug.

You gesture to the chair across from you, and he sits, setting his drink down in front of him before pinning those eyes back on you.

“I guess my date isn’t coming,” you say lightly, and watch as that muscle in his jaw ticks.

“I’m sorry.”

You snort, “Don’t be sorry. You’re not the one who stood me up.”

He looks down, before quietly mumbling, “I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

You must look surprised, but then again so does he, a little bit, like he can’t believe he said that part out loud.

“Do you--” You start, hesitating “-- are you waiting for someone? Or would you want to…” you gesture to the chair he’s sitting in, asking without asking if he wants to eat with you. You have no idea where the urge came from.

You haven’t seen him in 2 months, and you’re starting to think it wasn’t just a crush. You’ve thought about him a lot since you stopped training, and now that he’s right here in front of you, you realize your attraction hasn’t waned. Not at all.

“I’m not waiting for anyone,” he says, a gentle smile on his full lips. “If you’re sure--”

“Even if he shows up, I don’t care.”

He grins at that, and you really can’t believe your luck that he’s here.

After a few minutes and another visit from the waiter, you ask about the gym.

“It’s the same, mostly,” he says. “Sam and Steve still annoy the hell out of me, and I’m still everyone’s favorite.”

You grin. “That’s not hard to believe.”

“You look great,” he says, a little shy. “Seeing another trainer?” He’s teasing you, you can tell, but there is an undercurrent of uncertainty there you don’t expect from him.

“I’ve gone on a few runs and worked out at home, but no. Haven’t been back to the gym.”

He props his head on his fist as he considers you. “Are you sure…” He rolls his eyes at himself, “Are you sure I didn’t do something to make you leave?”

He sounds so genuinely worried, you realize you have no choice but to tell him the truth. He didn’t do anything. It’s the truth, but the other truth is that you thought he was too cute to keep working out with. It sounds like something from high school.

“You didn’t do anything, Bucky. You were a perfect gentleman. That was part of the problem.”

Now he looks confused. Like a cute, confused puppy.

“It was the truth that the membership was getting a little expensive, but I also had a hard time because you’re super distracting.” You wait a beat for your meaning to hit him, and when it does, he reacts nothing like you expect.

He goes a little pink around the ears, but there’s a spark in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. It makes you nervous.

“I-- maybe, maybe had a crush on you and didn’t want to be that girl, so--”

“Wait, you had a crush, or you have a crush?” He interrupts. “Because if it’s past tense, what I’m about to tell you is going to sound so stupid.”

You’re a little in shock. He keeps going.

“I-- I was kinda bowled over the first time I met you.” His accent sounds a little stronger, and you’re relieved that he looks a bit nervous too. “You’re beautiful, and you were nervous, which was cute, but you made me laugh, and--” He stops for a second, probably worried he’s rambling. “I thought I was too obvious about it and that it made you uncomfortable. I thought that’s why you left. And then I was kicking myself for not asking you out in the first place, but I thought it would have been inappropriate because you were still a client.”

“Are you serious?” You blurt.

He laughs. “I’m serious.”

“So this whole time--”

“We both thought each other were hot and didn’t do anything about it,” he says, winking at you. “Really,” he adds, when he sees how skeptical you look, “You should see yourself in those leggings.”

“Bucky!”

“What! Like you didn’t know.”

“Okay, well what about you? Coming in there for our sessions with your cut off shirts and-- your muscles--”

“So, this is officially a date, right?” He interrupts your rambling, thank god. “Because I kinda haven’t stopped thinking about you for the last two months.”

You leave that night with your hand in his, his number in your phone, and a session at the gym set for next week.

[softbiker]

Born to Run - Chapter 15

Warnings: language, literally zero editing

Word count: 3k

A/N: Wow I’m back to updating this story??? A million years later?? I am so sorry to anyone who was following this - but if you’re still reading and still interested, here’s an update! God as my witness, I will finish this. I actually have more ideas and inspiration for where the story’s going now - plus we’re all getting quarantined, so these WIPs have never had a better chance of getting done. Anyways, here it goes! Please let me know what you think! 

The lone monitor beeped steadily, plaintively, in the early morning quiet of the hospital room. Air rattled through the breathing machine, filling unknowing lungs over and over. A starched white blanket was pulled up to his chest, covering most of the bandages wrapped around his torso from the hours of emergency surgery. His left arm was already in a cast and laid on top of the blanket, resting against his stomach. 

Natasha felt sick.

And angry. 

How could she have been so stupid? Acting like a goddamn rookie, for starters, and running to Nick to fix their situation - letting things get out of hand with the Avengers, failing to convince Y/N to get out of here before things got bad. And they were only going to get worse. 

If Nick had been identified, then they were all in danger. And there was no fucking way, to her mind, that he couldn’t have been I.D.’d. This wasn’t a random accident, regardless of whatever the hell the local police wanted to write on the incident report. It was an attack, a warning. First blood. 

Her knee bounced in her seat by the bed, plastic upholstery squeaking with every shift in her weight. She chewed her nails - a habit she thought she had finally managed to kick. A tall nurse, dark curls piled into a bun on top of her head, came in to check Nick’s vitals; she was quiet, efficient, offering Nat a sympathetic smile. 

“If you need anything, just contact the nurse’s station, ok?” Her pink bubblegum, tucked in the back corner of her mouth, was visible when she talked. “And there’s a coffee machine around the corner, in case you need your fix before the cafeteria opens up.”

Nat nodded her thanks as the woman slipped out of the room, her white nursing clogs creaking a little, not yet broken in. 

The sky outside the window continued to brighten, a clear and cold winter morning; she wasn’t sure how long she stared at him before she decided to have that coffee after all. Massaging her temples, she shuffled down the hallway towards the flickering glow of the machine. Her boots echoed on the tiles in the empty hall, the low hum of the coffee machine filling the little alcove near the elevators. It whirred and hissed and spat out her coffee into a blue paper cup with slow, deliberate drips. 

How had she let it get this far? What was she going to do without him? And who the hell could she trust? She winced as the first sip of coffee burned her tongue. It wasn’t as though she didn’t trust the team…but she’d gone to Nick in the first place because they were no longer being objective - Barnes especially, and Rogers was only enabling him. 

Her eyes on the waxed linoleum floor, she barely noticed him standing outside the door of the hospital room. Steve squared his shoulders, directly in front of her, his eyebrows tilted at a thunderous angle. 

“You gonna tell me what the hell is going on here?” he gritted out, the hoarse edge of his voice scraping in his throat. 

Nat didn’t answer, not right away. Instead, she let him stew in the boil of his righteous anger, air tightening between them. The coffee had cooled a bit, but left a funny taste in her mouth - the flavor mixed badly with the mints she’d been sucking on an hour ago. The muscles in her neck and back ached from hunching by Nick’s bed all night, and she arched a little on her feet, stretching and flexing, though the early morning tightness never quiet left her muscles. 

Finally, when the flare of Steve’s nostrils told her he was on the verge of making a scene, she gestured toward the door with her coffee cup. 

“Why don’t you head in there and see for yourself?”

Clenching his jaw, Steve turned and let himself into the hushed dimness of the hospital room. He filled the doorway - he filled most doorways - and from behind Natasha wished he could march into this and save the day, the way he always wanted to. At the foot of the bed, he stopped and rested a hand on the mobile tray waiting there, now cleared of the uneaten food from last night. His mouth turned further down, matching the turn of his eyes as he watched the sleeping man tucked into crisp hospital linens. After all these years, I was so strange to see Nick this way - weak, still, not in command. It shook something loose inside of him, but he tamped it down, cracking the knuckles of his fist. 

“You know who did this?” he said, his voice a low growl under the tone of the monitors. Behind him, Nat closed the door with a soft click. 

“Of course I do - don’t you?” She slipped behind him, sipping from her coffee, and took up her chair by the bed again. 

Big hands curling and uncurling, Steve remained silent. From her spot in the squeaky hospital chair, Nat watched the slant of his profile, reading the rage in every line. 

“Rumlow is dead,” Steve said through clenched teeth. 

“But not the rest of them.”

“Without a leader? They’re just a bunch of thugs.” Steve shook his head. “There’s someone else pulling the strings - someone smarter.” He nodded towards Nick’s prone body. “Someone who knew about Nick. Maybe about all of us.”

Natasha nodded slowly, one finger tracing the rim of her coffee cup. Usually she enjoyed being right. 

Steve scrubbed at his face with his hands, blowing a harsh breath past his lips. He turned away from the hospital bed and paced along the edge of the room, towards the window. With the thin curtain drawn, pale sunlight cast shadows beneath his eyes, sharped the noble angle of his nose. HE never dreamed they’d be standing here, years deep in a life built on lies and duty. Fresh from the army, him and Buck, and no plans - that’s when Sam approached them. Intelligence work, a chance to do something important, to keep fighting the good fight on the home front. 

“They’re all in danger.” Natasha’s voice scraped at the edges of her throat. “You know that, Steve.” 

“I know.”

“It’s time.” He turned to look at her, bits of hair falling from her ponytail to frame her face. Bits of mascara had smudged underneath her eyes, bloodshot and heavy. 

“Make the call,” Steve said, looking back towards the window. “Get Pierce if you have to. It’ll piss off Stark to go over his head, but I’m not worried about his ego.”

Nat licked her lower lip, tracing the chapped skin. 

“What about Barnes and his girlfriend?” she asked, leaning an elbow on the arm of her chair. “I can’t see him being eager to burst their happy little bubble.”

Steve sighed through his nose, crossing his huge arms across his chest. The monitors beeped a lonely rhythm behind him. 

“I”ll handle Bucky. Just get everything ready - make all the arrangements. Do what you have to do.” 

  ***********                                                                                                  

“So for dinner, I’m thinking…we still have that spaghetti squash in the fridge? I could whip up some kind of sauce to go with it…” she peaked her head up over the door of the fridge. “Sound good to you, Buck?” 

Startled, Bucky’s head popped up from his phone. 

“Uh, yeah sure,” he said, ducking back down and resuming the rapid movement of his thumb. 

With a frown, Y/N hip-checked the door closed, bottles rattling inside. 

“Are you listening to me, Bucky Barnes?” she asked, eyes narrowing as she leaned back against the fridge. 

He looked up again - a well-developed sense of self-preservation kicked in when he caught that dangerous glint in her eyes. 

“Yes - yes, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he sighed, sliding his phone into his back pocket. “Whatever you want for dinner is good - I’m fine with the spaghetti squash.”

She was never so easily distracted. 

“What was so interesting?” she nodded his direction. “You’ve been glued to that thing all afternoon.”

Bucky’s shoulders dropped as he sighed, rounding the edge of the counters to approach her in the kitchen. Soft hands reached for her hips, reeling her in closer, sharing heat and heartbeats. The scent of his cologne drifted up on the air between them - spicy, warm, just subtle enough to remain sexy. He leaned in close and pressed his lisp to her forehead, devoted and sweet, and always properly apologetic. 

“I”m sorry, baby,” he said, squeezing her waist softly. “It’s just Steve-”

“Steve?” She looked up at him with a frown, neat little line forming between her brows. “Steve has been blowing up your phone?”

“Yeah, I know.” He shook his head. “It sounds like total bullshit, but I swear that’s all.”

“What’s going on with Steve?” 

Bucky sucked in a deep slow breath, hoping to hide his hesitation. Their “club business” had always taken first place, first priority…the job came first. The job was important. They were saving lives, putting away criminals. But now his girl was pouting at him in the kitchen, and he’s so tired, so goddamn tired all of a sudden - of all of it. Of being a public servant or a hero or whatever the hell. Of duty. He wants to pack it all up and just start driving. Move back to the city - or hell, even the suburbs would be nice. He’d take Y/N to Sunday dinner at his mom’s place; they’d move in together, and Y/N could decorate just how she wanted, and he’d sweat over rearranging the furniture and complain about trips to fuckin’ Ikea and all the other stuff that normal boyfriends got to do. In this moment, this inhale, he tasted it all, the life they could have. A dream they could build, together. 

And all he had to do was come clean. About all of it. 

In the space of an exhale, he faced it. He wanted this. It was on the tip of his tongue. 

And then the next breath. 

“Just club stuff,” he shrugged, feeling the weight of the lie dropping on her. “There’s…been a little drama between the members lately. Nothin’ for you to worry about.” 

With another kiss to her forehead, he turned away and opened the fridge. 

“I’ll put that spaghetti squash in this afternoon if you want me to,” he offered. “That way it’ll be ready when you get off work. Sound good?” 

Y/N nodded mutely, pressing her lips into a smile. She had to admit it was nice having a boyfriend who was mildly competent in the kitchen. 

“Okay, well, I’ve got to get in to the clinic,” she sighed, checking her watch. “Shit! I’ll be late.” Swinging her bag and lab coat over her shoulder, she gave him a final peck on the lips before bolting to the door. 

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Bucky called from the kitchen. 

“Too cold!” was her reply - and then she was out the door. 

Bucky stared at the closed door for a moment, one hip leaned against the counter, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth. He just needed some time. Just a little more time to sort all this out. And then he’d tell her - the whole truth. Everything. And after, they could have a life together, something real, something safe, a home. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Steve again. 

Call me. Now.

Even as he rolled his eyes at Steve’s flare for the dramatic, a little tremor seized Bucky’s heart. Dread hovered in the back of his mind as he swiped his thumb and dialed Steve’s number. 

This could only go badly.

  **********                                                                                                  

One breath.

Inhale to exhale. That was how long it took for him to lie to her. 

Cold fingers wrapped tight around the steering wheel, it was all she could think about. It scared the hell out of her, whatever it was he tried to hide in that breath, whatever he decided to keep from her. He’d never done that before…or had he? Did she know? Would she know? Would she be able to tell? 

Calm down, Y/N. You’re overreacting. She lectured herself, cranking the heat in her car to a higher setting. A top 40 song, thumping beat and repeated lyrics, hummed faintly on the radio; she was running late enough that the morning talk show had already ended, moving on to the daily shuffle of hits and local business commercials. It all went unheard in the worried circle of her thoughts. 

What could he have to hide? Unbidden, her mind flooded with horrible possibilities, every possible answer to that question, and each more horrible than the last. Was he cheating? Another woman was responsible for the constant barrage of text messages pinging his phone? Bucky was handsome, not to mention clever, flirtatious, romantic; she had no doubt he could get any woman he wanted. But his attention and affection for her hadn’t waned - just this weekend he’d planned a beautiful dinner for the two of them, followed by a homemade cheesecake he had slaved over for dessert, and then well…he was certainly still eager in the bedroom. The warning signs just weren’t there. 

So what else? He’d never been secretive about the club before. Avengers business was Avengers business, but he’d never lied to her about it. It turned her stomach sour, and she regretted having those pancakes this morning, the cloying smell of syrup still on her hands making her want to pull over and vomit on the side of the road. 

She knew she was working herself up, letting her mind run amuck, but she couldn’t stop herself. By the time she pulled her car into the parking lot of the clinic, she’d half made up her mind to turn right around, go home, and confront him. The image of herself, half-crazy with ideas of secret affairs or violence or drugs, marching into the house and accusing him of lying - it stopped her short.

God, why am I losing my shit over this? Y/N dropped her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, the car idling in the lot, warm and safe from the harsh winter morning. She’d dealt with shitty men before, she’d survived bad boyfriends. It was impossible to make it very long as a woman without that experience. And yet, somehow, the memory of that paled in comparison to the devastating knowledge that Bucky was lying to her. 

You love him. Oh god, she did, she loved him - she was in love with him. 

She hurried out of the car and into the clinic, preferring to bury herself in wellness checks and vaccines and the flu than to keep thinking on it. 

    **********                                                                                                   

At the reception desk, Charlotte stopped her before she could get to her office.

“Oh! You’re needed at the county hospital today.” She handed Y/N the note, written on robin’s egg blue stationary. 

“I’m sorry? Why?” Y/N squinted at the note, a handwritten scribble. Charlotte shrugged. 

“No real explanation - but the chief surgeon said that they could use an extra set of hands with all the flu cases they’ve got coming in.” She took a sip from her travel mug. “I’ve heard they’re a little overwhelmed down there, since they’re the closest treatment for a lot of people in the county.” 

Y/N sighed, looking back out to her car. She hadn’t planned to drive the extra mileage out to the hospital today; not to mention it would probably make her late coming back for dinner tonight. Digging in her purse, she grabbed her phone and shot off a quick text to Bucky, explaining the change. 

“Alright then,” she huffed, placing her purse back on her shoulder. “I guess I’ll see you later.” 

With a wave to Charlotte and the other nurses, she was back out the door and heading to her car. This time around, she turned the radio up loud, singing along and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel and not thinking about this morning, or her own life, or anything at all. 

    **********                                                                                                   

At the hospital, she was assigned to make rounds for one of their physicians who had called in sick. Simple enough. The elevator ride up was quiet, new nurses and doctors all quiet and polite, but holding down their conversations in the presence of a stranger. 

She started on the third floor recovery ward, making her way down the hall door by door. Bedside manner was always one of her strengths; she could charm most patients with just a few words, breezing through her examinations and questions with ease. Chalk it up to customer service experience, but even the difficult patients usually treated her with gruff politeness, the insistence of her friendly manners forcing them to match with their own. Room by room, she checked charts and asked about pain levels and wrote prescriptions, the morning passing by in hours of sterile white tile and the smell of hand sanitizer. 

Turning a corner onto the next ward, she was just looking up from her clipboard when she caught a glimpse of a familiar shade of red ducking into a doorway. Y/N hurried her steps, her cadence almost a jog as she tried to catch-

“Natasha?” She knew that hair, the back of her jacket, the set of her shoulders. 

Nat was standing in the door of the hospital room, propping it open with one arm, head turned over her shoulder to stare at Y/N with weary eyes. Her face was pale, scrubbed clean of makeup, the bright baby hairs around her face twisting in tight little curls. At the sight of Y/N, she quirked the corner of her mouth up in an attempt at a smile, but it only managed to make her look more strained and exhausted. 

“What are you doing here?” Y/N went on when she didn’t get an answer. Her eyes cut past Natasha to the dim fluorescence of the room behind her. “Is everything okay?” 

Nat stared for another moment, her lips pressed tight together, jaw working back and forth. The hand she held on the door was curled in a small, tight fist, the peaks of her pale knuckles standing out against the long sleeve of her hoodie. Then, still silent, she stepped aside, gesturing for her friend to enter. 

“Come in,” she said hoarsely. “We need to talk.”