#STOP TELLING EVERYONE I BOX THE JESUIT!!! >:((((

[honorhearted]

CONFESS: word on the street is that you box the Jesuit on the daily.

Put 'Confess!' plus an accusation about my muse in my ask, and my muse will confess whether it's true or not!

Oh, for the love of...

"Did Brewster put you up to this?" Ben asked, irritation dripping from his voice. "The state of my carnal affairs -- no matter how solo -- are none of your concern."

Didn't every man succumb to a bit of relief in such a lonely, miserable existence in their camp? Admittedly, most days he was far too stressed and distracted to even think of indulging, so that alone proved this person was wholly off-base.

"I do not," he crisply concluded. "And if that was all you wished to discuss, then I would kindly ask that you leave my tent at once." With a pointed scowl, Ben turned back around to peruse his papers.

[thefilmsnob]

Glen Coco’s Top 10 Films of 2016

Another year has passed and although it wasn’t the greatest year for film, there were still several that stood out. Here are my picks for the top 10 films of 2016. But first, the runners up:

Runners Up

-10 Cloverfield Lane

-Fences

-Hell or High Water

-Loving

-Nocturnal Animals

-Sing Street

-Sully

And here’s the top 10!

#10b (Bonus Track): The Witch

Director: Robert Eggers

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie

The fact that a horror movie is anywhere near my top 10 list is astounding, but The Witch is a rare gem in a genre usually composed of cliches and cheap thrills. This is one of the most beautifully photographed movies of the year containing countless striking shots and director Robert Eggers creates a mood of almost unbearable tension. The film follows a family who’s been banished by their community to live in a remote part of the woods where strange things begin to happen and we’re never quite sure whether it’s mere paranoia or something supernatural. What’s so impressive is that we see very few little violence or traditionally scary images, yet Eggers always makes you feel like such elements are just around the corner. It’s been said before, but it’s what you don’t see that’s terrifying. The reason why this film isn’t in the top 10 is because of  audio problems and poor line delivery. The story is already ambivalent, but you’ll find yourself even more lost because you miss half the dialogue. That said, it’s still a pleasure to look at and definitely worth an honourable mention.   

#10: Silence

Director: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Adam Driver, Liam Neeson

No, it’s not Martin Scorsese’s best film, but even his lesser works are better than most movies out there. Silence is officially a box office flop and admittedly its pacing is frustrating at times, but its effect is undeniable and will leave you thinking about it well after the credits roll. The movie follows two Jesuit priests (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver) as they search for their mentor (Liam Neeson) who’s apparently given up the faith in a 17th Japan that was ruthless toward Catholics. Though the sceenplay could’ve been a bit tighter, like The Witch the movie looks marvelous thanks to Scorsese and cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto. Scenes of the priests sneaking through caves, Catholics crucified over the ocean or chilling events seen through the bars of a prison cell are all visually stunning if not disturbing. And the dilemma of whether it’s moral to allow others to die just to uphold one’s faith is an important question here and one that’s handled with care. 

#9: Moonlight

Director: Barry Jenkins

Starring: Trevante Rhodes, Ashton Sanders, Alex Hibbert, Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris, Andre Holland

Moonlight tells the harrowing story of Chiron, a gay African American growing up in the projects of Miami. Unfortunately, in a place like this where machismo reigns supreme, Chiron seemingly has no chance; it’s a tragic situation. Impeccably acted by all three performers who play Chiron as well as the supporting cast, especially Naomie Harris as his drug-addicted mother, the story is told in three different time periods, enhancing the idea these problems can’t be solved overnight and that people from these neighborhoods do, in fact, grow, mature and have fascinating, complicated lives. Directed with poetry and grace, covering both the tenderness and darkness of this character’s life, Barry Jenkins brings everything together perfectly with a final, almost real time, sequence completely devoid of action, but rich in honesty, vulnerability and feeling with Trevante Rhodes and Andre Holland holding your unwavering attention. We’re entranced by the implications of their meeting and eagerly await the outcome.

#8: The Edge of Seventeen

Director: Kelly Fremon Craig

Starring: Hailee Steinfeld, Haley Lu Richardson, Blake Jenner, Woody Harrelson

Although the problems Nadine (Hailee Steinfeld) faces in The Edge of Seventeen pale in comparison to those of other characters in this list, they’re still realistic, identifiable and fitting for a 17-year-old high school student. Nadine’s already awkward, lonely and isolated from her classmates and she has to deal with her only friend dating her older, more popular brother. It sounds like a recipe for a paint-by-numbers teen comedy, but writer/director Kelly Fremon Craig provides one of the most honest and witty screenplays of the year. Steinfeld is quite possibly the best 20-and-under actor in Hollywood today and was completely snubbed for this complex role as a precocious young lady who’s too smart and witty for her own good. She’s hilarious in this role, but also naive and vulnerable and it’s these qualities under the surface that make her such a sympathetic character. Woody Harrelson is exceptional playing the hard-edged mentor teacher who cares about her deep down despite his tough love. The verbal sparring between the two is a delight to witness in an equally delightful film. 

#7: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Director: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone

Starring: Ander Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone

Considering the rest of this list, no, this isn’t a joke. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is the funniest movie of 2016 and one of the funniest movies in recent memory. Written and directed by Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone, 2/3 of the Lonely Island comedy group, they’re joined by their partner Andy Samberg in acting and writing efforts to bring us this hilarious mockumentary and biting satire about the pop music industry. Producing countless belly laughs through priceless one-liners and some of the funniest sight gags you’ll see, Popstar focuses on the rise and fall and rise of The Style Boyz and all the infighting that comes with that. And I can’t forget to mention the outrageously funny original songs. Any movie whose song contains the lyrics “I wanna fuck you like we fucked up Bin Laden” has to be good.

#6: Manchester by the Sea

Director: Kenneth Lonergan

Starring: Casey Affleck, Lucas Hedges, Michelle Williams

Manchester by the Sea is a minor miracle. Here’s a film whose protagonist has ruined his life through a horrifyingly plausible accident, abandoned his titular coastal hometown due to overwhelming grief and guilt and now must return to take care of his nephew following his brother’s death, yet somehow writer/director Kenneth Lonergan manages to avoid melodrama and manipulation. This is a film with emotional complexity and gorgeous naturalism in a story with no easy answers or moments of eye-opening catharsis. The whole cast is extraordinary, but Casey Affleck stands out playing Lee Chandler who displays flat, distant behavior on the outside, while simultaneously conveying the emotional turmoil going on within, trying to deal with one tragedy after another. It’s an impressively restrained performance for a character who we come to sympathize with more and more as the plot unfolds. The ending won’t please everyone, but it’s honest, human and entirely realistic just like the film.

#5: 20th Century Women

Director: Mike Mills

Starring: Annette Bening, Greta Gerwig, Elle Fanning, Billy Crudup

20th Century Women takes place in the late ��70s when the cultural identity of America was in a state of flux. This feeling permeates the film and even though it concerns a small group of seemingly insignificant characters, the film is framed within a much larger history and this coupled with the revelation of the characters’ fates far down the road gives the proceedings a heightened sense of importance. Annette Bening, another Oscar snub, is perfect in this role as an aging mother trying to navigate such a strange world while attempting to reconcile her conservative tendencies and wariness of modern life with her liberal values and open-mindedness. This complicated, 3-dimensional character recruits some lodgers and neighbours to help raise her boy, but these people are just as complicated, flawed and, indeed, beautiful themselves, especially Abbie played by the magnetic Greta Gerwig. The movie has little plot, but you fall in love with the characters and their struggles and that’s really what’s important. 

#4: La La Land

Director: Damien Chazelle

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone

The people involved in making La La Land should just be thankful the film was produced. A completely original movie musical filled with jazz doesn’t sound like the most lucrative products for today’s audiences. But with the help of Damien Chazelle, who demonstrated his wizardry behind the camera and helped bring jazz to the forefront with his extraordinary Whiplash, and two of the biggest stars in Hollywood today, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling, the movie has become a technical marvel and a smash hit. Bringing to mind the classic old Hollywood musicals, La La Land tells the story of two struggling artists with Gosling and Stone making us invested in these struggles every literal and figurative step of the way. Containing breathtaking dance numbers, infectious original songs and some truly show-stopping moments, the movie is fun and exhilarating from start to finish and the chemistry between Gosling and Stone is possibly the best you’ll see in 2016. It’s impossible to walk out of this movie without a smile on your face.

#3: Arrival

Director: Denis Villeneuve

Starring: Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker

Arrival is a realistic and logical take on the fascinating premise of first contact. Denis Villeneuve, one of the best directors in the business, is an expert at creating and maintaining an almost suffocating level of suspense with the help of his distinct camera work, steady pacing and nerve-wracking music. The snubbed Amy Adams is brilliant as Louise, mourning the loss of her daughter while facing the herculean challenge of communicating with aliens. Adams has a way of making Louise quiet, contemplative, even sad without exuding weakness. Unlike lesser films where a communication problem like this is solved in minutes, Arrival presents it as a grueling process involving linguistics and translation  that Louise and Ian Donnelly (Jeremy Renner) must go through in order to make even the smallest breakthrough. This aspect of the film is entirely convincing and even educational. The ending is a real mind bender that’s executed elegantly and adds another thought-provoking layer to an already dense narrative. The best moment, though, is a scene where a helicopter’s approaching a spacecraft hovering in the distance. The view of the object in the background coupled with the unnerving music and lack of dialogue is hypnotizing and brings to mind imagery from 2001: A Space Odyssey. It’s a truly mesmerizing sequence.

#2: Lion

Director: Garth Davis

Starring: Dev Patel, Sunny Pawar, Nicole Kidman, Rooney Mara

The most important thing about a story is that you’re invested in the characters and no other movie of 2016 makes you as invested in its lead as Lion. The thought of falling asleep on a random train and waking up hundreds of kilometers away from your home is terrifying, especially if you’re a young child in a densely populated country like India who doesn’t know where home is. But that’s the true story of Saroo, ably played by the young Sunny Pawar and the older Dev Patel. Remarkably, the adult Saroo manages to use Google Earth to find his home and long lost family. All aspects of the film work from the directing to the writing to the wonderful performances. It’s a pleasure going on this extraordinary journey with Saroo. It all culminates in the most satisfying ending of a film in 2016 that challenges you to keep a your eyes dry. You won’t be able to. This is the most inspirational film of the year.

#1: Everybody Wants Some!!

Director: Richard Linklater

Starring: Blake Jenner, Zoey Deutch, Glen Powell, Tyler Hoechlin

It wasn’t nominated for anything, it’s not groundbreaking and no one even saw it, but, dammit, Everybody Wants Some!! is the most satisfying movie experience of 2016. No, it’s not as good as Dazed and Confused, its spiritual prequel, but it’s pretty damn close. The film follows a group of university baseball players in the days leading up to the first day of school. That’s it. Writer/director Richard Linklater understands youth, knows how people talk and has a firm grasp of time and place and he combines all three of these qualities perfectly here. There’s no real plot to speak of but Linklater is that rare filmmaker whose dialogue is so engrossing and whose characters are so relatable that we can forgive him and just enjoy the ride. He also captures that unique time period of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, just like 20th Century Women, where cultural identity was so undefined. He showcases this with a great, eclectic soundtrack composed of rock, pop, rap, new wave and country tunes and even the players go from a disco to a country bar to a punk rock show all in one weekend. But what makes this movie work is the baseball players themselves. Sure, their goals are similar to most college-aged men: have sex, drink beer and compete with each other over everything. But there’s so much more to these characters who sound and act like real humans with varying traits, opinions and emotions. Their macho exteriors don’t drown out their insecurities and insight into their own lives and surroundings. Most importantly, though, you’ll have a blast watching this movie. There’s not a dull scene or exchange within and it’s often laugh-out-loud funny. Hell, it’s literally and figuratively one big party and it’ll make you want to jump through the screen and join in.