#STOP IM BEING TORTURED
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my initial knee jerk reaction to lucanis/spite saying "family, enemies, contracts" was bad because it felt like an oversimplification but actually thinking on it i really love that lucanis forces himself into this box to make things make sense in his life. family is unconditional, enemies are to be killed, but contracts is so. interesting... man who promises mila that he will find her father because he does not fail contracts. the same man who tells effe that he will kill her slaver because he needs to turn her from a poor young woman that he sympathises with, into someone he can make a deal with. it's not kindness, it's not weakness, he's just fulfilling a contract, and crows don't break contracts. if he kills a bunch of racist blood mages during that process, then he's not breaking the rules, just bending them. a very convenient excuse to be a good man while still being a crow and assassin. and of course when spite is forced into him, he gets out of it with something familiar! by making another deal! something he could work with, something he HAS to work with, because being just an abomination is unthinkable. if he can work himself out of this problem like he's done with every other contract in his life, in his mind maybe there's some tiny chance that this becomes another job that he can claw his life back from.
#like. 'i'm still an assassin. i'm still a crow. this is just a contract.' <- insane torture that involves forcing a spirit into him#i also of course see this backfiring hard when he gets out of the ossuary and it stops being a deal to survive#and a lot more of 'jesus fuck. im possessed.' and its a contract that no longer becomes about getting out but his actual future#and what that means for him. which triggers that spiral of self doubt and insecurity about rejection and disgust from 'family'#just. such a warped perception of the world that it HAS to be a contract is interesting to me#even rook/the companions starting as a contract and turning into family. the progression there must have been interesting right#especially with the weight he seems to place on promises. fun!!!!!#lucanis dellamorte#txt#when i heard the line i was like 'ooh! fun!' -> 'hmm. actually don't like that' -> (weeks later) 'nvm its fine again'
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I bring to thee some quick late night Viktuuri sketches because I think we could all use some fluff
#some viktuuri for the soul!#my blorbos are always in my mind even if im not creating for them in that moment#they never leave <3#their eepy leepiness is a reflection of moi and i love their eepy leepiness for them i hope theyre getting some great naps#just some calm and quiet#love that for them#also this isnt the first time i draw in like two months what are you talking about?#the last art i posted totally wasnt from the 14th of march shhhhh the date on the post is definitely wrong source trust me#no but like i have been so dead for months#dont expect to see much art from me before july when my break starts and i can stop being stressed out of my mind#now i can be one of those tortured artist types except i havent done any art to communicate how sad i am#tbh im just tired i just wanna sleep#am i gonna? youre funny of course not but now i can at least pretend my awake time was vaguely productive#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix art#arom antix#viktor nikiforov#kastuki yuuri#viktuuri
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i just KNOW that bladie is getting spoiled more than dan heng.
danny H has his "women (march 7th, specifically. the other girls don't really care that much) hate how little it takes for me to be happy" bum ass setup and meanwhile bladie is getting his shopping done by kafka (only buys luxury)
Blankets on floor vs silk california king size mattress march would be SO pissed
#i think that dan heng has had exactly one conversation with himeko about it when he first joined the express like#himeko: um hey i just wanna say that if you're sleeping here on the floor cause you feel like you don't want to burden us#then it's actually really no problem! you're not a burden#dan heng: um actually i just kinda like. sleeping on the floor. here.#himeko: oh well that's fine then! as long as you're comfortable#and then never again#trailblazer also sleeps on the floor#march 7th with her 62928569264929 pillows and stuffies will never stop this war#seriously tho bladie is so funny#he really went from#sleeping on the floor (yingxing) ->#lap of luxury (getting babygirled by dan feng) ->#hundred year torture chamber (jingliu) ->#sleeping while standing up like some kind of fucked up horse (ren)#lap of luxury (being treated like the beloved pet dog of kafka)#he has a fancy bed for his everything problems that he still never uses unless he's forced to in favour of patrolling the SH base#bro probably sleeps with both eyes open and sliver wolf hates it before she realized she can fuck with him and he still won't wake up#oh bladie..... reclaim your honour.........#im normal#dan heng#blade hsr#hsr#honkai star rail
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God I genuinely don’t get why people hate Nightheart so much. Every reason they have is they’re actually just angry at the authors not at Nightheart lol. Like you’re allowed to hate whatever character u want but I just saw a comment saying the fandom should scalp every Nightheart fan alive and it’s like woah okay. Jesus he’s just a cat dude
#I hate warriors fans#nightheart#warriors#warrior cats#wc#waca#“he’s so spoiled and is a bitch for no reason!#correction! you’re just angry that the Erins changed the characterization for sparkpelt#sparkpelt Squirrelflight and finchlight deserved better yes but what they deserved was for the erins to write them better#because the way they’re written they Genuinely do treat Nightheart badly I NEED the fandom to understand this#nightheart: I feel like there are unreasonable comparisons being made between Firestar and I and I wish you would stop.#every cat in ThunderClan: this is the most outrageous and unreasonable any cat has ever been ever let’s continue to ignore his wishes#idk the series of me defending literally every character in warriors continues#I fear you must understand the different between author intent + good faith reading and audience perception + paranoid reading#bc why are you reading warriors if you’re bothered by the authors problematic tendencies and you’re not have a good time#why are you on tumblr dot com threatening to torture fans of a fictional cat you don’t like#you exhaust me#I understand that you are disappointed your female faves once again have been thrown under the bus for a male character I know I know#I Get It#but I fear if you want to enjoy warriors you Have to understand that this is the way the erins work and it’s terrible but#…idk what did you expect I guess?#if it bothers you that much maybe warriors isn’t the fandom for you? like im genuinely saying this#it’s Good to care this much. it’s Not Good to surround yourself with media that actively makes you this Angry and hateful#I’m sure there will be some morons whose takeaway from this is that I hate women#or have high unreasonable expectations for women while I actively clear the way for male characters#so let me be So fucking crystal clear#👏 I UNDERSTAND THAT THESE GIRLS WERE SHAFTED FOR NIGHTHEARTS DEVELOPMENT 👏#👏 I UNDERSTAND THIS IS A BAD THING 👏#👏 IT IS THE UNFORTUNATE REALITY OF WARRIORS#👏 YOU THREATENING TO KILL FANS OF THIS CHARACTER ISNT FEMINISM 👏
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no i dont think as a society dehumanizing abusers not only in the treating them as monster and others way but in the wanting to strip them of human rights and kill or torture them in a number of colorful ways too is good and i think that'll lead us to ruin and to more abused being created because if only a monster would do this how could this person whom i love be an abuser? that is just not possible. However as an individual i do think we'd all kill our abusers with hammers 👍 hope this helps
#luly talks#the sorta shit i think while running thru the caldera with big challenges this is why im reaching heaven#or something like that#but like yeah no like this is important to understand#i think the topic is nuanced and complex but by what i do stand is: human rights mean Human Rights#Human Needs mean Human Needs.#nothing you can do no matter how heinous will make you stop being a human and no amount of torture will undo what has been done#and if you give your life to revenge youll end up coming back empty handed#and wild geese. remember wild geese.#that's my thoughts on the matter. anyway
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I thought about it too hard and came to the conclusion that the Midnight Mission Team has some serious DnD party potential.
I'm not elaborating.
(mostly because I don't actually know as much about DnD as you would think I would)
#TELL ME IM WRONG-#moon knight#moon knight comics#Character name dump incoming#marc spector#reese williams#greer grant nelson#yehya badr#soldier moon knight#8 ball#midnight mission#Im physically restraining myself from making a hundred posts about the comics now that I've read a chunk of them-#-and really don't have anyone in RL to torture with this new knowledge#Anyway Reese -to probably no one's surprise - ended up being the favorite#I mean I love everyone obviously#I'm gonna stop this now lmao
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staring at gi-hun so fucking loudly rn its not even funny
#yapping tag#SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM#ITS ACTUALLY SO BAD I CANT DRAW RN ITS ACTUAL TORTURE#of course once i cant do art i get all the best ideas#expect a lil yapping these coming days in place of art because if i dont share my thoughts and ideas i literally begin to decompose#thinking about gi-hun all by himself in the bathroom after the rebellion and just. taking off his jacket for the first time and looking at#> the wound he got from being grazed by a bullet#im so fucking crazyyyy for just. Staring at wounds. having to treat them alone while being Tormented mentally#parallels to sae-byeok? in my gi-hun angst? YOU BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT#obv his injury isnt as serious as sae-byeoks was but just stay with me here#what do yall think abt stress induced psychosis for gi-hun. because its so dear to me#in the year after the games he suffers from it a lot. a lot of catatonia and hallucinations#and then. s3 gi-hun. please please please please pl#gi-hun and catatonia is the most beautiful thing in the world to me btw.#smiling wide as fuck at hwang dong-hyuk holding out both my hands for material for gi-hun angst#if gi-huns survives i can angst tf outta him if gi-hun dies i can still angst tf outta him#nobody and nuthin can stop me#yall should be glad i choose to be nice like 80% of the time when i make art#i end up taking psychic damage with all the wackass bullshittery i put gi-hun through#sometimes the other characters are collateral damage. usually sang-woo bc hes also really good for angst#but jun-ho is also experiencing poison damage rn#god im like 25% coherent when i talk in the tags but idc#not art
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FUUUCKKKK nsr has taken over my brain guys sorry
#other#bye bye svtfoe 😔😔#unfortunately towards the end#the fandom (on tiktok) started to really frustrate me#not very good for my head so i’m almost glad im not fixated anymore#also the only problem abt being fixated on overall bad media is that i go on crazy long rants to myself abt how bad it is#i had this problem whn i was fixated on star wars too looolll#it’s like mind torture#svtfoe oomfs please don’t stop interacting w me tho ily guys ur awesome
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i had no clue i would draw him again. but well, what am i gonna do with 3 hours of newfound knowledge about this one arg? Nothing? AS IF
Close ups below

#i havent drawn in so long#so this is a little warm up#behavioral event network#ben drowned#ben drowned arg#jadusable#jadusable arg#ben drowned creepypasta#hope.png#this entire ramble has alot of spoilers beware#tbh i wouldve liked this one more if it wasnt too convoluted#like it intrigued me the moment i started watching but as time went by it started getting a bit#boring isnt the word but i wasnt really enjoying it as much#i really liked the idea that it tortured the person psychologically instead of physically like almost all of the creepypastas back then#the third arc was the one i didnt like the most#and all of the stuff about timelines merging even if it was just digital it still really confusing to me#and when the reveal#spoilers btw#of BEN being an AI made me really disapointed i stopped watching entirely for a whole day#idk why. i wasnt angry about it just really disapointed#but the ending was really sweet i liked it!#for me#if it was just like the haunted cartridge arc sprinkled a bit of the moon children arc and the ending it wouldve been smth i liked more#i think it would be interesting if the origins of BEN were unknown so ppl would theorize. ppl say we get more scared of the things we dont-#-know#but after all i give this a little 6-7ish/10#im so sorry for ramblingg!! it will happen again!
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I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin
#''bruce never recruited any kids for his mission/war'' falls apart immediately when u consider jason's backstory im ngl#jason todd#my dc posting#his whole character to me is breaking the conventions of the medium#batman#like i hate how ppl treat others like theyre ridiculous when they even dare to critique bruce in any way#i am capable of suspending my disbelief and accepting some things in fiction as okay even if they wouldnt be irl#its the viewers responsibility to meet stories whre theyre at#but its also the story's responsibility to upkeep that yknow?#''child/teen sidekicks are okay n not morally dubious'' okay :D yay :3#then one of them gets brutally murdered by a villain and im like. yeah uhh no. cant do that anymore 👍sorry#''they all became vigilantes on their own bruce couldnt have stopped them'' yall under the impression bruce hates kid heroes n wants them#properly safe n is just doing damage control/harm prevention#when hes more the lines of encouraging them#difference between ''i cant stop u from doing this so ill make it as safe as i can'' and#''im actively going to encourage you to do this dangerous thing''#i have many opinions n im ngl theyre constantly shifting n they depend on a lot#im not gonna hate on lego batman for robin thats a goddamn childrens movie who tf gives a shit#comics are fair game tho. have u seen what gows on in there.#bruce couldve stopped jason from being a vigilante n instead encouraged him is the hill i will fucking die on#the victim blaming of jason has Got to stoppp its the worst thing ever#also just to remind everyone. ''a good soldier''.#wow a character blames themselves for the death of their child and to torture themselves they put the words 'good soldier' on their memorial#anyway if you even dare to think abt the implications ure stupid n#like do u hear urself whattt
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not to rant on main but like does anyone else know people who go on and on about their own complexity and intelligence (particularly at the expense of others) but actually just fail to be interesting at all. im talking the girl who calls herself a neurodivergent baddie who only likes weird people but then gets shady when youre weird in the wrong way. or who says they hate small talk and wanna talk about theology and literature and philosophy but get weirded out when people actually start having discussions. like the person who talks themself up as kind and introspective but just ends up being a bully. this very very specific type of person and ive met multiple people like this and i cant help but get tired of it. the whole higher plane superiority act.
#boink#rant#if this makes sense to anybody#ugh#it probably does not#its just so frustrating#like how many people do i have to meet#who think theyre the most interesting person in the world#like the tortured artist trope trying and failing to fulfill itself#because it ultimately is not as complex or interesting as you want it to be#and because why are you saying that you contain multitudes and others do not#that is so self centered#that is such an uninteresting view of life from someone who professes themself to be enlightened as they are#it just drives me up a wall#to see people coopting 'neurodivergence'#to be like oh im special#like girl you are a bully#youre on a sparkly high horse and youre riding over the people who are trying to walk#god like just can we stop romanticizing the idea of neurodivergence#number one its such a broad term that it basically means nothing when applied like people so commonly do#and number two its incredibly damaging to constantly conflate neurodivergence with just being cute and quirky#like just say youre cute and quirky#bring back being weird#like you can be that and be neurodivergent yes of course#but god i just get tired
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the kingsroad is very clearly entirely based on the show which i expected but this means the writing is quite weak and it kinda hinges everything on the player already knowing about the red wedding and Hating the boltons (but especially ramsay) and like... it's game of thrones so there are some random quests that have darker implications particularly to do with ramsay and the horrible things he does but the tone isn't quite there with this and it just makes it all come across as a bit silly.... like ramsay is just cartoonish and there's really no depth to anyone or anything. also they absolutely would have just killed the bastard at this point i've killed dozens of bolton soldiers and there's no way he doesn't know the player is a stark loyalist lmao
#the game im imagining in my mind is so good though trust me#like if the writing was stronger. if this was actually committed to being an rpg instead of a gacha mobile game.......#actually having choices that matter and that change how bolton and others react to you.. sighs wistfully#sorry im also in my baru era but it would be sooo fun if you are a stark loyalist but everyone thinks you are bolton's butcher#vonnegut 'you are what you pretend to be so be careful who you pretend to be' or whatever. OUGH#like the choices are so stupid there is no reason for them. most of them are literally just accept or decline this quest#the rest is just nothing like it's not even worth calling it flavor text it doesnt do anything or else bolton would have killed me by now#also the game does railroad you into being a stark loyalist which is kinda annoying. that's always the problem i find with got games#they always focus on the starks/the north#anyways. sorry im torturing you all with this bad game i have brain worms and i can't stop
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I’m not defending Mineta, I don’t like the creep. But why is the mha fandom like selective with perverts? Midnight was inappropriate for a teacher. Twice was older than Toga and liked her. Am I missing something?
character complexity maybe
#also it has something to do with the way the OTHER character react/interact with mineta like canonically no one likes him LMAO#-> have u seen that panel of mina literally strapping him to a chair n like medieval style torture him to stop being such a freak#i always saw twice as protective brotherly figure towards toga idk i dont see the creep factor there#for midnight IDK im not the hugest fan of her either but shes dead so the universe got its lick back#asks
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everyone needs to know about consequence. everyone needs to see consequence. everyone needs to know consequence. what do you mean it does not show up in the chapter im writing and also potentially the next one
#lucky.pdf#odile stop changing like every aspect of the usual beginning of the time loop Loop One (she will continue to do this)#i could prob sneak consequence at the end of uhh chapter 4. god#im a slow writer you cant have me think that far ahead im already being tortured by the fact that all the later stuff will be. so far#fcic
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Thoughts about dramatrio as a forever viewer (and occasionally bad and baghera viewer)
RP WISE!!!! DON'T GO BOTHER THE CC'S
From q!forever's perspective, you can see how the dramatrio was always a duo and not a trio. qbad and qbaghera do not trust forever, and if they do, they don't trust him enough for their secrets.
- They never supported qforever during his presidency (qbad did vote for him, tho). qbad always complained about everything forever did, even tho qforever always tried to listen to him and everyone else.
- qbaghera did not told him the secret about her childhood, but she told qbad. Just like bad didn't tell qforever about the fed worker he kidnapped but he told qbaghera.
- "Oh but qforever took his waystone first" he did that because he asked for an item and no one helped him, so he got tired of helping people but no one helping him
- Also, qbaghera is dapper's mom, and qbad is pomme's dad. qforever was never included in this conversation.
- They say forever will get easily manipulated by the federation because he's the president, but yesterday both bad and baghera said they don't think cucurucho is bad
- They both banned forever from their houses
Anyway, they like to have forever around for the fun part of it, to joke and all but when stuff get serious they don't tell him anything and keep talking about him behind his back. And the only people that actually trust qforever is the favelafive
#i saw people saying that qbaghera was in a lose lose situation yesterday but idk you tell bad but you dont tell forever???#'oh because hes the president“ when did qforever ever betrayed his best friends??? during the whole pill arc he still tried to help cellbit#also the whole argument goes to shit because now bad and baghs are saying cucurucho isnt bad as if he didn't lock up phil or torture cellbi#this was always a duo during the serious moments and only blind people dont see this and say qforever is acting like a child#and i think this started when q!forever hit leo during his attack but even tho he redeemed himself foolish doesnt hate him for that#and has forgiven him somehow baghera and bad dont and they have this idea that forever is impulsive even tho he can be quite the strategist#when he wants and again he always does everything for everyone and theres zero retribution from them i mean forever literally did that part#for bad two days ago and told he would try to make bad and baghera happy even tho he doesnt know whats going on with them bc they dont tell#anyway im tired of forever being the good guy always i need him to actully wake up and just stop caring#qsmp#qbaghera#qbadboyhalo#qforever
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i need to be picked up and put in my home biome right the fuck now
#what do you mean i cant see a mountain from here#i read like eight papers today on human modification of landscapes specifically intentional burning#and i was like. jesus christ#i neeeeeeeed to be on the west coast again!!!#we do it different etc#im being tortured tantalus style by this list of native species of the central coast range!!!!!!!#stop mentioning places i live and native plants i know ill cryyyyyyyyy#robin wall kimmerer the ecology writer of allllll time you have changed how i think about place so much#i need to see a redwood or sequoia tree or ill throw up#(technically they are sequoias but whatev.)
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