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avengerscompound · 4 years ago

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It’s You and Me - Chapter 4

It’s You and Me: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Clint Barton x F!Reader

Word Count: 1735

Rating: E

Warnings: Mentions of underage sex, and mentions of past child abuse, child sexual abuse and pornography

Synopsis: You and Clint Barton go way back. Since you joined the circus as a child, he took it upon himself to keep you away from the people who really wanted to hurt you. For years the two of you danced a line between dark and light.

When he chooses light the two of you go your separate ways.

Fifteen years later he tracks you down. Those feelings the two of you shared never went away, but now he is not only an Avengers but a single father. Can the two of you make it work after all this time when your lives have gone in such different directions?

A series told in flashbacks and current day.

Chapter 4: Then

Life in the circus could move on quickly. When Clint stopped seeing you around Jacques Duquesne, he stopped worrying about you and while he did still see you around from time-to-time, the two of you didn’t have a lot to do with each other. Unless you were in his field of vision, he didn’t spare you much of a thought. He had other things that occupied him anyway.

For starters, he had this general need to be the best at what he did. He practiced archery and swordsmanship so that people would be excited to see him. Crowds would pay money and he’d earn his place legitimately and wouldn’t be made to pickpockets or run any of the scams they had going at any one time.

There was also Eden. He’d been dating her since you showed up and it was getting hot and heavy pretty fast. He didn’t feel the need to be glued to her constantly but he definitely liked being with her more than not. Though it was hard to pick out exactly what it was that drew him to her. She knew more about him than he knew about her. She seemed to like listening to him prattle on about any old thing that popped into his head. She never really gave him anything back though and sometimes he did wonder if he just liked the way she made him feel. That thought never lasted long though. She was a hot, a good listener, and even better lay, and at seventeen there wasn’t much else he was looking for.

You showed up a few months after you arrived at the circus while Clint and Eden were making out behind the trailer he shared with his brother and a couple of the other younger guys in the troop. You stood awkwardly looking off to the side and Eden pulled back and looked at you.

“Can we help you?” She asked.

“I just wanted to talk to Clint,” you said, shifting awkwardly. “Sorry.”

Eden shrugged and got up. “I said I’d go rehearse a new routine with Ringmaster,” she said. “He’s all yours.”

Clint watched her leave, his eyes almost transfixed by the way her tattoos moved as she swayed her hips, and as she disappeared around the side of the big top, he turned his attention to you. “What’s up, kid?”

“You said you could teach me some things…” you said. “Does that offer still stand?”

Clint stood and looked around. “Jacques said something to you? I thought you were looking after some of the animals.”

You shrugged. “He said that the animals were all being looked after fine before I got here, and I needed to start earning my way.”

“Right,” Clint said with a nod. “Come on.”

You hurried after him, your legs moving twice as fast to keep up with the strides he was taking. “I’ll have to start with the basics, so you might need to find something in the meantime. When I was your age they made me pickpocket to pay my way and I’d already had about eight years of training,” Clint said. “But you don’t gotta pose for any photos. We can work out some other way you can make the money.”

“Oh yeah?” You snarked. “How exactly? I don’t know how to do shit.”

“Hey, I’m trying to help you here,” Clint said. “You want it or not?”

You looked at him like you were considering changing your mind before folding your hands over your chest and nodding.

“Maybe you can be my assistant until you get better,” Clint suggested, grabbing a couple of wooden swords from the weapons case. “I can shoot apples off your head or Twizzlers out of your mouth or something. Maybe we can play up the fact you’re a kid. Have you come out in a cutesy dress with a balloon and I’ll pop it. I dunno. I’ll think of something.”

You looked down at your feet and nodded. “Why are you willing to help me?”

Clint tapped the end of the sword on the dirt in front of him. “What he’s doin’ isn’t right. You’re a kid. You shouldn’t have to go through shit like that. And it’s not right a bunch of pedos have your pics now to get their rocks off too,” he said. “We’re supposed to be a family here, and I know their moral compass is really fucked, but you don’t do that to family.”

You nodded and neither of you said anything for a moment. Clint tossed you one of the swords and you caught it easily. Clint was thankful for that at least. Being naturally coordinated would take you further with this than his training would on its own. You looked up at him and offered him a small smile. “Thanks, Clint.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it,” he said. “Gotta get good first.”

He took a stance with the sword in front of him. “I’ll show you a routine and then I’ll go through it slowly with you. Then you can try it alone and I’ll correct what you’re doing wrong.”

You nodded and Clint started.

He stayed training with you until the bell for dinner was rung. There would be a show in an hour after that so he’d have to quickly change because he was usually the opening act these days. You had been focused hard during the training and Clint was surprised how quickly you were picking things up. You didn’t have the routine down perfectly, but if he went through the moves slowly you could follow along with him just fine. If you continued to improve like this, you’d be sparring within a couple of weeks.

Clint just had to figure out how to train you, think of a way to keep training you, keep his own routine fresh, work you into that routine, and have time for a personal life. He sat down at the bench next to Barney while you went and sat with Zelda and the other animal acts. Zelda immediately started talking to you. The two of you began talking animatedly as one of Zelda’s python’s circled its way down the snake charmer’s arm and onto the table.

Eden came out of a tent with Tiboldt, the circus’ ringmaster and leader. After scanning the table came she came to sit with Clint.

“What were you doing with the Ringmaster?” Clint asked, accusatory.

He had trust issues. He knew it but found them a little hard to keep under wraps. Jealousy was big for him - maybe a psychologist would say it had to do with his father’s abuse and the fact he bounced around foster care, making him think himself unworthy of love - but Clint had never been to see one, so all he knew for sure was he didn’t trust Eden not to run around on him.

“Working,” Eden said simply and ran her hand down Clint’s spine. “You jealous, baby?”

“No,” Clint huffed, and Barney began laughing.

“Sure you aren’t,” his brother taunted.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, Clint,” Eden assured him. “I only have eyes for you, and no one is allowed to touch me except you.”

Clint looked at her, his eyes traveling up the tattoos on her neck to her perfect face, framed by her long dark curls. She leaned in and teased her lips over his and he pushed forward, capturing them and kissing her passionately. Barney made a gagging sound beside him.

“Get a room would you?” He teased.

Clint pulled back and pulled a face at his brother. “Would if I could.”

Eden laughed softly and turned Clint’s face to hers again. “Don’t be jealous.”

“I wasn’t,” Clint lied.

“What did the kid want?” She said.

Clint looked over to you. You were laughing but there was something about the way you held yourself that told him you were still on edge and ready to fight if you needed to. He didn’t trust Jacques, and he didn’t trust Eden to keep the secret well enough to stop it from getting back to Jacques. If Jacques found out that Clint was training you, not only would you end up having to pose for photos to keep your spot in the circus, but Clint would be in a world of trouble too. Jacques had once promised Clint he’d never beat him, and while it had never happened, there were times where Clint was sure it was a close call. “Just had an idea about doing a routine with me,” Clint said. “I think she wants to get out from behind the scenes?”

“Her?” Eden asked, looking over at you. “What talents does that little shit shoveler have that she can possibly make your act any better?”

“Just being my target,” Clint said. “You know, the girl on the board. She’s small enough, it’d work.”

“I could do that for you,” Eden said, running a long nail along his jawline. “Imagine that? The two of us sharing an act?”

“If you were part of my act no one would be looking at me,” Clint said. “Besides, you know Tiboldt wouldn’t agree to that.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I suppose you’re right. And I suppose it’s good the little brat should start earning her keep.”

“Yeah,” Clint said with a frown. “It’ll be fine. All she has to do is not be shot by me and that’s mostly on me.”

“And you and I both know how good you are at hitting the right spot,” Eden teased.

“Seriously, you two,” Barney said, grimacing. “I’m trying to eat.”

Clint smiled but it was a distracted smile. One he wore to cover up the turmoil of his thoughts. He’d learned a lot of things while at the circus, and among them was if he played friendly and dumb - people underestimated him. He got up and wiped his hands. “Better go get ready for the curtain call. See you in a bit.”

Eden looked up at him startled. “Okay, baby. See you then.”

Clint scowled as he wandered off. Most of the time he was just used to how fucked up everything was here because it was his normal, and much less fucked up than what he came from. Then there were times like this where it hit him like a truck and he wondered if he’d ever really get free of it.

// NEXT

#clint barton #clint barton x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #trigger warning #it's you and me

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bengiyo · 2 years ago

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Alright, I’ve been thinking about this since last night, so let’s make a post about it. We joke that you’re a fandom auntie and I’m a fandom uncle. I think I get your uncle’s partner a lot. I have watched a lot of queer cinema (though I’ve fallen off in recent years as I’ve become obsessed with BL).

My oldest queer experiences are my own curiosities and desires as a kid. I remember having very specific thoughts about how often Huckleberry Finn undressed in 8th grade, and I still remember this book called The Purple Heart that I remember thinking about for gay reasons. Hilariously, Orson Scott Card wrote the first explicitly gay character I ever had in Zdorab of the Homecoming series (basically sci-if Book of Mormon stuff).

I think my oldest onscreen experience with queerness that I can remember is Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. I think I saw Marco dealing with his drama in 2006 while we were displaced. Later, when I was given access to cable in my own room I remember discovering Logo and watching very late at night. In that era I remember watching Bent (1997), Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), a smattering of Queer as Folk (US), and Noah’s Arc.

(As a quick aside, Noah’s Arc is so important to me, and if you are a black queer person who was affected by that show, I desperately ask you to support For The Boys, which feels like a spiritual successor to the show.)

I vividly remember when Netflix became a thing and I could suddenly request DVDs or stream movies, and I discovered a bunch of other favorites like Make The Yuletide Gay (2009) Edge of Seventeen (1998), But I’m a Cheerleader (1999), Shelter (2007), The Wise Kids (2011), The Wedding Banquet (1993) (which is my go-to reference for Ang Lee and Queer Cinema), Big Eden (2000), The Birdcage (1996), and I successfully trolled Strand Releasing into giving us a release date for NA distribution for The Way He Looks (2014) (which I had followed from when it was still a short film).

It is during this period that I came to understand the big three distributors of gay movies in the US. TLA Releasing is going to release anything titillating and sexual, with an intense love for twinks, such as Latter Days (2003), Another Gay Movie (2006), and Boy Culture (2006). Strand Releasing is going to focus on a lot of the international gay film or auter type film such as Mysterious Skin (2004), Yossi and Jagger (2002), Lilting (2014), Holding the Man (2016), and Front Cover (2015). Wolfe Video is my favorite, and tends to like films with great production and storylines, including Big Eden (2000), Were the World Mine (2008), and Stephen Cone’s The Wise Kids (2011) and Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party (2015), and so many more. I could probably list all of Wolfe’s catalog that’s how much I like them.

I also remember in 2012-2015 when my early experience with Thai queer cinema included Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), The Blue Hour (2015), and How To Win At Checkers (Every Time) (2015).

If there’s a big theme you’ll notice in these films if your’e familiar with them, it’s that my primary queer works I connected to were full of angst. Part of why I make sure to do a local watch of Make The Yuletide Gay every year is to remind myself that the first time I saw happy queer people on screen was in 2009.

All of this primed me for BL in that I wasn’t in the mood for a lot of melancholy in my queer watching. I started watching SOTUS in 2016 because of bloggers and gif makers on here. I liked that Kongpob was assured about himself and his attraction to Arthit. I was okay with Arthit’s uncertainty about whether he could like Kongpob, but overall was relieved that so much of the storytelling was about the issues with the hazing system and the senior-junior dynamic. The gay thing was downplayed as an issue in a way I found refreshing at the time. Similarly, I was drawn to the youth storytelling of Make It Right and the exploration of masculine sexuality in the show. BL gave me the stories about gay people falling in love, and the angst was primarily about how the boys get together and not whether the straight people in their lives would be decent to them. Also, much of what I watched in the early days ended happily.

So, while I love queer angst as much as any cinephile (I wrote a glowing review of Papi Chulo (2018) a few years ago), I was in desperate need for queer euphoria, and BL gave me that despite all of its issues the we ride the disk horse about.

I know we've talked about this before, but what are some of the formative queer works that you think helped inform your current tastes as a BL viewer?

Oooh...I know we've touched on this in other discussions. I came to BL from the romance side not the queer side necessarily, but definitely queer media did have an impact. My uncle's late partner was a queer media encyclopedia and maintained a meticulously documented archive until the day he died (I never got to introduce him to BL though 🙁). His collection was donated after his death, over the years he showed me a bit of it, but so much of it was either sad or porny and I craved romance. I guess I'm one of those straight girls the Disk Horse is galloping over lately...lol.

But in terms of queer media, I found my feet in coming of age and first love narratives, as well as narratives about finding yourself and maybe falling in love along the way, and comedies. I basically love media where queer people live, laugh and love, and I don't need to tell you the dearth of that kind of thing easily available to an English speaker prior to the turn of the millennium. I was definitely shaped by works like Y Tú Mamá También, Kinky Boots, To Wong Foo, But I'm A Cheerleader, and well we've talked about my complex feelings on Brokeback Mountain. And then there was Moonlight which isn't even 10 years old but is on my cinema classics list because hello have you SEEN it?

On the TV side I was OBSESSED with Looking (starting a rewatch soon), and until the shark-jumping prison riot season Orange Is The New Black which was a fantastic show until it got up itself. Fell in love with characters and storylines in shows like Six Feet Under, Shameless and The Magicians (Quentin and Elliot's life together solving the puzzle still leaves me in tears). And then there was Sense8. I don't think I have to explain to anybody with any taste in media how Sense8 changed me as a person. I've still seen nothing so beautiful and loving on screen in my life.

Always making me think you!

#bl series #queer cinema #lgbt tv #lgbt film

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vitalmindandbody · 7 years ago

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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season refresh: our columnists’ most effective and worsts

Our writers take stock after the Premier League season, naming their best player, finest goal, most entertaining match, biggest gripe and much more

Best player

Daniel Taylor: NGolo Kant. If he can keep Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.

Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the fashion, but Harry Kane has been the outstanding single player: top scorer, team man and with just enough comic-book star quality.

Dominic Fifield: Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switch in system, provided the cut and thrust which inspired Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he struggled with a hip complaint, his revival was eye-catching.

Paul Wilson: It probably doesnt matter which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing things around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any position across the back line and his consistency and tenacity are unaffected.

Amy Lawrence: If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and market it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to make others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The way he carried his Leicester qualities so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits.

Barry Glendenning: Jordan Pickford. Only in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to lure Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23-year-old pulled off the impressive feat of making himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite playing in the Premier Leagues worst team. Although hes prone to the increasingly rare gaffe, its difficult to pick holes in any aspect of Pickfords overall game and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been relegated before the sighting of this springs first swallow.

David Hytner: Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. His ability to make the difference when it matters the most marks him out.

Scott Murray: Diego Costa kept Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that effectively decided the league, all the while staying in character as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining presence when hes gone.

Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League goals at 175 minutes per strike for a No10 is top class. At 21, a player with that edge all elite players possess has to get better.

Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champions were not simply a very defensive team, as a former manager bearing sour grapes suggested. They were also the most devastating and intelligent team in the final third thanks largely to the Belgium internationals return to form.

Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Photograph: Darren Walsh/Chelsea FC via Getty Images

Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, candidates but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five rungs of the league ladder in successive seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being shifted from a wide role to central midfield this term, the intelligence of Clucass passing bears the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuaded him not to give up the game before honing his skills at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly confounded the doubters.

Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 goals. For a player to continually create and score so many goals in a team that spent almost the entire season fighting relegation is quite something.

Jacob Steinberg: After last seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in thrilling style and found the consistency to go with his outrageous talent. NGolo Kant was a worthy recipient of the PFA and FWA awards, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.

Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last seasons champions lost their way, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 defeat by Spurs but, taking a broader view, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these troubled times.

Simon Burnton: The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season awards currently cluttering his mantelpiece.

Ed Aarons: NGolo Kant deserves his awards for winning a second successive Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to form coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas only genuine challengers. Even 13 assists and eight Premier League goals do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.

Sachin Nakrani: Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League goals and, quite simply, without him they would have been relegated, suffering all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes people losing their jobs.

Best manager

Daniel Taylor: Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to undermine him. How, possibly, can anyone question what he has done to get Chelsea back on top?

Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champion team, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on match days remains the most ludicrously excited man about anything ever.

Dominic Fifield: Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with elite managers, he adapted best to the peculiarities of the Premier League and ended up putting all the other big names to shame.

Paul Wilson: It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief visit to dreamland there seems no point in looking past the obvious. Antonio Conte could hardly have hoped for a better first season in England. In terms of impact, it says it all that he can now match Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League record of wins in a season.

Play Video

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Antonio Conte: Chelsea’s new Special One? video

Amy Lawrence: Conte. From the very first game of the Premier League campaign when he celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline passion, he has managed almost every situation with authority, class and style. In tactical alterations and man management, bringing the best out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he barely missed a beat.

Barry Glendenning: Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline demeanour of a man who has just had a large handful of red ants dropped down the trousers of his expensive designer suit, there is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three in the wake of defeat at Arsenal has been hailed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that may be be over-egging the pudding somewhat, the manner in which he steered his team to the title with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his measure was no mean feat.

David Hytner: Antonio Conte. It has been another hugely impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has been better. Took over a Chelsea squad with problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions.

Scott Murray: Heres a respectful nod to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high league placing and yet another cup final, somehow maintained super-human levels of dignity despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An extraordinary feat. His will be much the better look when this story is told 20 years from now.

Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 league goals and may win the classic English double in his debut season.

Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out choice, not only for winning the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential crises notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.

Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong case while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva turned water into wine in east Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play fabulous football on around half the collective wage bill of other top six sides, but keeping Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Given the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?

Sean Dyches Burnley have never really been threatened with relegation this season so good has their home form been. Photograph: Lee Smith/Reuters

Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Hugely impressive to win the title in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of passion for the game and gives the impression that every player, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.

Jacob Steinberg: A nod to Sean Dyche for keeping Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outperformed his rivals by reviving a misfiring, uneven squad with the power of his motivational qualities, tactical acumen and infectious will to win.

Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.

Simon Burnton: Great as Tottenham have once again been under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes impact at Chelsea has been greater.

Ed Aarons: Antonio Conte. The Italian only arrived at Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first game of the season but has emerged as a title winner in his first season in English football. The switch to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management skills in dealing with Diego Costas regular tantrums.

Sachin Nakrani: Antonio Conte. Winning the title in your first season in England is a superb achievement, particularly when it involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.

Best goal

Daniel Taylor: Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace.

Barney Ronay: Girouds running scorpion volley, a lovely move and a ludicrous finish, made all the more improbable by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a very stiff man trying to wriggle his way over a garden fence.

Dominic Fifield: Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to bring him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block.

Paul Wilson: Sam Allardyce will have been more concerned about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some beating for wow factor. Not a team goal, perhaps, but Carroll put a lot of himself into it.

Amy Lawrence: The Emre Can/Giroud/Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that struck a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in a game that felt so influential for the title. What a fine team goal. The quality of Cesc Fbregass run and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they felt undeniably like champions again.

Play Video

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How the 2016-17 Premier League title was won by Chelsea video

Barry Glendenning: Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not the best, but almost certainly the only thing of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo effort sent goal-shy Boro on their way to their first home win. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to close him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70-yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him abruptly cutting inside and slotting home. Buoyed by this rare moment of quality and inspiration, Middlesbrough went on to win three more Premier League matches, while their increasingly unpopular summer signing would go on to score only one more goal as his side sank below the depths.

David Hytner: Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing has the ability to bring jaws to the floor more quickly than the thumping scissor kick. Especially when it is executed by a big man.

Scott Murray: Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so absurd its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long romp that preceded it, embellished by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott scored against Spurs in 1978.

Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian lets go a flying back-heeled volley. Delicious.

Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other goals carried more weight in the context of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable examples but based purely on its merits this fleeting reminder of the quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.

Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The winner in a 2-1 shock opening-day victory against the defending champions for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys vicious cross, the ball fell to Snodgrass whose first-time, left footed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.

Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle kick against Watford must take some beating. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.

Emre Can lets fly with a sumptuous overhead kick against Watford. Photograph: John Walton/PA

Jacob Steinberg: Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70-yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever trick and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the breath away with those scorpion kicks and bicycle blasts. But in an otherwise grim season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a rare moment of excitement makes it all the more precious.

Simon Burnton: Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kick wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival volleys that compare with it, but to my mind it is the best of the bunch. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit lucky. It was the only thing I could do. I tried to hit it with a backheel and after it was all about luck, but by March he was saying: I dont want to big myself up but goals like mine leave a mark on history. Andy Carrolls [overhead kick] is magnificent, but maybe people wont remember it in two years time. Mine, yes.

Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a hell of a way to snatch a late equaliser, set a wonderful record and convince Jos Mourinho he could finally jilt an over-the-hill hero.

Ed Aarons: In a season of spectacular volleys, Emre Can saved the best for last. His brilliant overhead kick against Watford left nothing to chance, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks.

Sachin Nakrani: Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of notable scorpion/overhead kicks, this one edges it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the height at which boot met ball prior to it looping into the net.

Best match

Daniel Taylor: At the risk of sounding like a misery, its not easy to think of a stand-out match this season. Nothing left me as excited as, say, seeing Monaco in the Champions League.

Barney Ronay: Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and desperate at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for.

Dominic Fifield: Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces win at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling nature of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were superb going forward, playing wonderfully incisive and inventive football. Palace defended ruggedly and, somehow, kept them out.

Paul Wilson: The one that sticks in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and entertaining game, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola moaning about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant title pointer at the Etihad too, for the second successive season following Leicesters statement win in February.

Amy Lawrence: Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, wonderful, beautiful, panicked madness. The best of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a brave face. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated game. Whats not to like?

Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.

Leroy Fer scores during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. Photograph: Christopher Lee/Getty Images

David Hytner: Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never mind the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the scenes after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a month or so.

Scott Murray: Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It really wouldnt have taken much for this game to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.

Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a hole in the title pretensions of Jrgen Klopps team and suggested Sean Dyches men would survive. Those auguries were proved correct.

Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League matches attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many reasons. In Ronald Koemans eyes it was really perfect and a total team performance from Everton. It confirmed the emergence of Tom Davies, who scored his first goal for the club with an exquisite chip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and brought a debut goal for Ademola Lookman with one of the teenagers first touches in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, however, it underlined the defensive and mental frailties at Manchester City, represented the heaviest league defeat of his managerial career and left him conceding the title was beyond his team for this season.

Louise Taylor: If this means watched live, its a difficult one to answer. As north-east correspondent Ive certainly seen a few candidates for worst game at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier game does stick in the memory though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller featuring a brilliant, mesmerising performance from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.

Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes remaining then all hell let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective managers, went through every emotion going and, in truth, it wasnt really surprising that neither man lasted much longer in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at the game were also in a terrible state come the end.

Jacob Steinberg: Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another game until they were already relegated. In their defence, Ive only just recovered from the shock as well.

Simon Burnton: Liverpools 4-3 win at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could ask it to be and more. Excellent attacking, lovely goals from open play, a gorgeous free kick, brilliant individual skill, embarrassing manager-hugging celebrations, sunshine, it had the lot. The only possible reaction was yes please, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, sadly, neither team could deliver.

Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times brilliant, but also bizarre, outrageous and laughable. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.

Ed Aarons: Swansea 5-4 Palace. Leading 4-3 with the game past the 90-minute mark, Alan Pardew must have felt pretty good. His team had just battled back from 3-1 down with only 15 minutes remaining to lead, only to surrender the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time.

Sachin Nakrani: Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter only let down by poor finishing. A mention, too, for Swanseas 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that saw two goals in stoppage time and Alan Pardew fearing the worst.

Best referee

Daniel Taylor: Keith Hackett. I see his criticisms of the current crop and marvel that he must never have made a mistake in his life.

Barney Ronay: Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional comedy, when he leaves for Sauds.

Dominic Fifield: Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver.

Paul Wilson: No idea. They all look the same to me. Lets say Martin Atkinson.

Amy Lawrence: Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the star as much as some. He gives the impression of wanting the best game possible.

Barry Glendenning: Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a thing of beauty.

Referee Mike Deans no-look yellow card given to Ross Barkley was a thing of beauty. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Reuters

David Hytner: I dont have strong feelings on the category this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best.

Scott Murray: Referees are lightning rods for impotent frustration, rampant paranoia and myopic rage. Objective praise doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.

Jamie Jackson: The video official what a brave innovation. What? They still do not exist despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?

Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the wrath of at least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmony lets just say its not Jon Moss.

Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg (despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia.)

Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg (yes, I realise hes now gone) and Michael Oliver would be in the top three. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.

Jacob Steinberg: Michael Oliver gets my vote, capped by punishing Manchester Uniteds cynical rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup.

Simon Burnton: Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best referee in the land, which is unappealing, but that doesnt make him wrong.

Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have mannerisms as entertaining as his.

Ed Aarons: Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson usually get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding referee in the country. Still only 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more matches (31) than anyone else and issued just two red cards.

Sachin Nakrani: Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong view on referees. They all seem roughly the same and their mistakes, while occasionally astonishing, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.

Best signing

Daniel Taylor: Mamadou Sakho. People laughed when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces player of the season award. But without him Palace would be down.

Barney Ronay: Leroy San. What a lovely mover, what a calm head, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be.

Dominic Fifield: NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved.

Paul Wilson: Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Hardly the best value signing, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury struck he did what he had been brought in to do.

Amy Lawrence: Hard to argue with Kant for overall impact. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces predicament, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who looks bound to shine more for Manchester City in future.

Barry Glendenning: NGolo Kant.

David Hytner: David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad hair lies an intelligent reader of the game. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long passing remains beautiful to watch.

Scott Murray: Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to rattle in an absurd number of goals. Had he not picked up that injury in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.

Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 departure. Costing 30m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, dominant 23-year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.

Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and looking certain for relegation when they appointed their third manager of the campaign in January. Astute signings such as Tom Carroll and convincing a squad to buy into yet another managerial voice enabled the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can shape a clubs short-term future.

Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have sunk without Baillys central defensive excellence.

Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his tracks. The defender transformed Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/Reuters

Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious piece of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans impact at Leicester the season before. With that in mind, and taking it account the size of the fee, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11m recruit from Southampton.

Jacob Steinberg: On the basis that signing Kant was a no-brainer after last seasons exploits, one has to admire Chelsea for making the return of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were plenty of doubts about the Brazilian when he signed on deadline day.

Simon Burnton: Crystal Palace won six of the 30 games they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee appeared, keeping five clean sheets in the process (counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless minutes and they conceded in the 78th). No other signing was so transformational.

Paul Doyle: Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour.

Ed Aarons: Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30m, who transferred from one blue title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price.

Sachin Nakrani: Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who thought the 35-year-old, while undeniably talented, would struggle in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of the best free transfers in Premier League history.

Worst flop

Daniel Taylor: Pep Guardiola. Maybe our expectations were too high but, after all that waiting, it has been a real disappointment. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which probably illustrates the point.

Barney Ronay: Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an ironic round of applause from his own fans for making a save.

Dominic Fifield: Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.

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Paul Wilson: The man who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015-16 player of the year and inspiration for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving.

Amy Lawrence: Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to mount a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite recruiting heavily last summer to apparently boost their push.

Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Tasked with his most difficult job in management so far, even by his own admission the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.

David Hytner: Simone Zaza. His ludicrous penalty at the Euros for Italy was merely the prelude. Saw his loan spell at West Ham United cut short after 11 matches and no goals because, had he played a bit more, the club would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January.

Scott Murray: Pep Guardiola arrived in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in press conferences. His glorious disdain for daft questions has at times shone through this was simply majestic but not yet with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps rattled, though, if the repeated raising of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.

Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola probably blew Manchester Citys hopes of winning anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and paying 14.5m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.

Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola envisaged his first season in the Premier League and served only to undermine it. That is not to say it was a mistake to replace Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, only that Bravo was the wrong choice.

Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of persuading Spurs to part with 30m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to deceive. Indeed when HMRC recently raided St James Park, club staff joked about whether they were investigating the theft of 30m from Spurs.

Stuart James: A few in the mix here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all come to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17m goalkeeper, is surely the standout candidate. What were you thinking of, Pep?